The Joe Rogan Experience - #2229 - Jeff Dye

Episode Date: November 14, 2024

Jeff Dye is a stand-up comic, actor, and broadcast personality. His YouTube special "The Last Cowboy in LA" premieres on November 14. www.jeffdye.com https://800pgr.lnk.to/cowboy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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I used to have a dog that had terrible, I mean, I don't know, I'm always traveling and also like I'm not real good with discipline of like someone else, you know? Like I don't know how to train a dog. So I just let him do anything. So I think it was hilarious. He'd be like chewing on something, like check that out. They're like, he shouldn't do that. I was like, eh, fuck it, let him.

Like I just liked the idea that he was wild. It made me happy. Yep. It's very bad though if, you know, your dog bites somebody. Oh, he's always just humping stuff and like eating things. He was a bad though. You know your dog bite somebody Oh, he's always just humping stuff and like he was a ridgeback. Oh, Rhodesian ridge back. Oh, but in my mind I'm like well Why do I want to rain tyranny on this dog and be like he needs to sit he needs I kind of liked that He's like this little psycho that would hump things and that's fun

But you got to be able to control. Yeah, I know I couldn't yeah hold me back then I was young like 31 or something at the time. It was like young Young to me, dude. I didn't become an adult for a while for like six months ago No, but I've that dog I would open the door he would just dart and I was like, yeah this dog is unhinged I let him you liked it. Yeah, I liked it. That's crazy. Yeah, I've had some crazy dogs, but it's like, you gotta train them.

They have to listen to you. Well, I had a lot of pit bulls when I was younger. Oh, nice. You have to have to listen. You look like a pit bull. They have to have a sense that you're the boss. You have to be kind and sweet. Oh, for sure.

You love them, but you're the boss. Like you have to train them. I trained my dog diligently. I was like see a treat sit stay Yeah, make them stay for five minutes, and then give them a big treat and hug them and kiss them You got to like make sure they fucking listen well That was the problem is that I would literally like he would be doing something and I'd be like he doesn't respect me And I would think like it was just it was that's as simple as it was my dog He saw me as like a cool guy.

He didn't respect me. He was your friend. Yeah, exactly. So like, I would leave him with his dog trainer in Sherman Oaks, and the dog trainer would send me videos, and he'd be like, look, and I would think, look at me, my money's going to good, look at what my dog's doing. He's doing a little turn, but it's because he respected that guy. And so then he would come back to my house, he'd just piss on the couch while he's laying there and I'm going wait what was all that stuff he learned

he goes my dogs look at me going not for you yeah you're my friend yeah you're the cool guy we were buds which is a metaphor for my life too like I was the fun piss on the couch guy but at some point you got to grow up and be disciplined and really do yeah and you don't have as much fun But you've the fun that you have you appreciate. Oh for sure. Yeah, cuz it's like it's not out of control Yeah, my dog that I have now is the first dog that I've ever had that was so easy to train It's like I didn't even train them and it's a golden. Are they kind of dumb? Very smart. What's the dumb breed? They're just sweet

They're sweet so people think they're dumb, but he understands words. Like I'll say not that door dude. Let's go in the side door. He turns around and goes towards the side door. Like he's he gets it. Like he's a fucking smart dog, but training him was like that. Really? Oh my god. First of all, Goldens have no resistance. They don't want to fight. They don't want to they never growl at people. They never if they bark if they see something weird they never bark at people want to they never growl at people they never if they bark it They see something weird. They never bark at people like they're just the sweetest dog I love this way to be their friend. So I teach them to sit was like real easy It was like sit I push his butt down and then I give him a little treat and then and then I'd say sit

He just sit down love it. I give him a treat. Yeah, and then next day it was like said he sat Pat I'm in the head. Give him a kiss. He now he then next day was like said he sat pat him on the head Give him a kiss he now he just listens which is also the metaphor for for humans We like to have a little approval like it's less than it's less of the tree and the pat on head They're my dad happy. Yeah, they're the most like people those dogs. They're the most like what's the dumb breaks? I don't want to keep doing this a lot of sometimes. I'll see like a Dalmatian and then I'll ask that one There's a lot of sometimes I'll see like a Dalmatian and then I'll ask that one Poor little Carl Carl is cause about the brightest, but his brains the size of my thumb They're cute though, that's the thing love the shit out of that dog. Yeah, he's so jacked to look how jacked is no muscles He's in constant shape well him and Marshall like go to war like he just said when when Marshall's here like

Well him and Marshall like go to war like he just when when Marshall's here like Cog it's so tired from playing with my dog is my dog doesn't fight back So he just totally takes advantage of it just throws himself at him like a torpedo well when it's over. He like can't breathe Oh, yeah, yeah, cuz he was bred to not wrestle. Yeah, no fucking nasal cavity It is a weird dog that used to be a wolf. They look like aliens What's so fucking weird that humans turned a wolf into that fucking thing? I think it's our best invention It's a pretty cool job like not saying it's an ethical thing or a smart It's kind of like you know if you know what you were doing to a wolf It's kind of fucked up, but but it doesn't need to survive that things yeah

He's got Jamie's got us is he's in the safest place in America right now. Like when you see those ladies that carry them around in little purses, got a dog carrying around with their purse, that used to be a wolf. That's wild. They're trying to do that to us. I know, that's the problem. Just keep your dogs. Don't change me. They want to do that to everybody. If Kamala won, we would have been one step closer to poodles. That's right, yeah. Every day I was getting closer. That's why I'm single too. Just trying to hold on to any freedom I got.

You got to find someone that you jive with that gets you. That's what's hard. People want to change people. Girls look at guys, they look at some guys like a project. Like I know he doesn't want to settle down. I know he doesn't want this. But if I could just get him to start changing the way he dresses. I know.

And then I get him to do the, open the guard door for me, like my hands don't work. I know. I'm still, I'm the Ridgeback we were just talking about, where I'm going, just let me be wild. Let me, like, you know, like, I'll spend like 24 hours with a woman and just enjoy every second of it. I enjoy every, like the affection the door opening I enjoy these kind of things you know taking care of someone showing them. I don't know what the car door Do you know that I like that? I'll show them my life. You know hey these are my comedy buddies and watch me go kill on stage Oh, I got this I'll pay for everything and about like at a 24 hours of my brain

I'm like I gotta get out of this like how like how do I really? Dosing maybe it's like binge drinking. Yeah, you know if you have a glass of wine with dinner You don't feel like like oh get that fucking wine away from me It is you drink like Burt Kreischer you fucking boxes of wine But we get on the treadmill. I don't get my started box of wine on the treadmill Burt suffers from the same disease Patrice had he doesn't know how, like he saw this one-of-a-kind person, that everything he says and all the advice he tries to give, don't work for anyone else because he's one-of-a-kind. So he'll say, here's what you gotta do, and you go, that doesn't apply to me. Do you know what I'm saying? We can't be on a treadmill drinking a box of wine and then go to a show for 200 grand. We're different people.

He can keep going. I've never seen anyone like him. He's a freak athlete, believe it or not. I believe that. Tom Segura played him in a game of tennis and Tom got a tennis coach. They had this big tennis match. They even did it on one of those Your Moms House live screens. They made a big deal out they had this big tennis match. They even did it on one of those Your Moms House live screens. They made a big deal out of it, big tennis match. Burt destroyed him. Oh yeah. Drunk, hungover, giant belly, serves like a pro. He said he literally serves like a fucking Division I college player.

I didn't know that about him. Crazy! That's pretty impressive. He goes, what the fuck? Yeah. He goes, his serve is service insane that makes total sense I mean, I'm not yeah, I'm like somewhat surprised daily type. Yeah, just got it. Yeah, it just knows how to do He's also got this bizarre confidence. Yeah that allows him to not have anxiety about trying new things great for this business

Oh, yeah, just dives in takes his shirt off look at me Oh, yeah, just dives in takes his shirt off look at me Well, I just think it like because early he went on something where he was gone if if you if someone tells you to quit drinking Don't stop drinking tell them to shut up drinking is the best thing I got Jesus Christ You know me alcoholics are hearing this right now Burke like some people should quit some people shouldn't I get what he's trying to do I get the point that he was trying to do but in my mind actually this boom. Oh, that was beautiful What is he doing there? He hit it over the fence? Yeah, but the form of that was beautiful. What did he do there? He aced him. Oh, he did ace him

Tom's flustered. Yeah, he's really good. Tom's just happy. He didn't snap his leg here. Oh, yeah Look out. Look at that fucking serve. Yeah, bro. It's got a curve to it, too Oh, that's great Also Burt looks fit here. Well, it's the outfit that's for him for him. He's fit Yeah, he loses weight gets way down then he binges up again. He gets crazy good He lost like 60 pounds and got real fit didn't drink for like three months. Yeah, and then he just goes crazy again Yeah, has a good time. I love him, though. But I was just saying like the advice thing.

Like, did you ever work with Patrice or know him good? Yeah. One time I'm in New York. This is the late, great Patrice I knew. I'm going through a thing with a girl at the time. And you know, people ask you how you're doing. And if you're sad, I'm a pretty honest guy. I just go, oh, you know, my girlfriend's driving me crazy.

She's back at the apartment when I was in New York She's back. I'm just stressing me out. I need to get on stage have a good time have some drinks I need to like just whatever he goes. Here's what you do man. You're a good-looking guy and I was again I don't think I'm gonna get advice from Patrice. You know this would be great He goes you're a good-looking guy man another girl right is that what he said he let goes I've seen the way these girls look over to you around there you find one of these bitches You have a good time don't worry about what's back at the apartment then when the time comes bring her back bring her back to your apartment and say

Yo, this is me. This is you know you got to deal with this shit, and if you ain't and I was like Patrice you're my hero. I love you Terrible advice you're gonna get me murdered. You're gonna get murdered. Also that's just not the type of women I hang out with. They're not gonna be fine with that. Yeah, that's a very specific type of woman. I couldn't believe it. Who's probably gonna murder you. Yeah, exactly. Time's ticking on that, exactly. I had a friend of mine that said that he was gonna, I talked to my girlfriend and ended up doing a threesome. And I had the same exact feeling as someone saying to me,

hey, I started making my own bombs. Right, you go, don't do that. Jesus Christ. It's gonna track. It's gonna die. Yeah, exactly. But I think that that's what you should think when you hear your heroes or Burt tell you anything.

Just know their lives are different than yours. Yeah, there's some certain one of a kind people that you just gotta say like not everybody could do that Yeah, like Bert went got a liver screen and cancer. He's fine. Yeah, he's fine. He can do it. He's fine He is a machine he gets his health checked and his health is fine. He's 50 years old. Yeah, he's still going hard How old is Bert now? He's got to be deep into his 40s But Bert will be like don't quit drinking have a good time and then some guys like I'm hitting my wife again dude this booze He was probably drunk when he said that you know like you probably got that

He probably took some time off and then had a drink started feeling good. I want to tweet some advice Yeah, it was one of those things cuz I love him and some people on a lot of the comments were like oh another comedian Not understanding another comedian. I was just I was like no it's not that I I love bird If you knew our relationship you'd get it like I where we're good. I just want people to know if you do have a problem It's okay to quit. You know, you don't have to use a person who quit. Yeah I was just saying, you know, this is a sensitive subject for some people it is Yeah, because look I have certain friends that have recovered from alcoholism and this one buddy that I had that used to drink He would drink and then his eyes would glaze over like a sharks Yeah, like the pupils would be gone and he wasn't there anymore. I go Bob's gone now

This is fucking drunk Bob drunk Bob totally different human being for sure He would black out all the time not remember things like you don't remember what you did like you didn't remember anything I was that guy. I would be fun fun fun till it wasn't fun, dude I think it's a genetic thing. Yeah, I mean I am guessing But I I've never had that yeah, so I've got to assume that it's a genetic. I've gotten fucked up before right I've gotten really drunk. I've never like I need to get drunk I've never been like I need to get drunk, but I have friends that I have one gear dude So there's a thing yeah one gear one gear if we're gonna smoke weed I smoke all the weed and you know I'm saying if we're if I a coke you're

Going to Tijuana, right? Yeah Why do one viagra when I can do six viagras, you know, like I just don't have and And that's why also like it works to my benefit, you know, the first time I said I'm gonna do stand-up I never stopped like I was up there. I was obsessed. Did you ever get hit in the head real hard? Um, yeah, I played a lot of like sports growing up. So yeah, I got hit I've had two really serious concussions where I went to the hospital. Yeah, you think that's it? Yes. Oh interesting Yeah, I too big one. I don't I lost a week. I'm not a psychologist or psychiatrist, but I do know that that is I mean, I'm not a psychologist or a psychiatrist, but I do know that that is one of the side effects

of brain injury is that you lose impulse control. Interesting, yeah, I've got no governor. Which works good, you know? It works good for some things. Like I said, when I'm hanging out with a girl, like I'm best boyfriend ever, I'm king, you know? And then it's gotta be extremely not. Right.

You know, it's kind of these extremes. Yeah, you gotta get to know someone. If you're diving in with someone for 24 hours 48 hours Yes, man. I'm like the chances of you guys jiving Perfectly or not that good. It's like not even 5050 if you get lucky you find the girl of your dreams And then hey, we've been together We we hung out together for two days in a row and then fuck we were married six months later And we live happily ever after that's real that's not people like that yeah can happen but generally right first of all when you meet someone you barely

meeting them you're meeting the thing that they put on when they want someone to like that it's performative a little for sure I always say to young guys try to become the person you pretend to be when you're trying to get laid wait say it again try to be become the person that you're pretending to be when you're trying to get laid I like that it just be that person and you never have to pretend I love that I believe that outside of the idea of relationships so like I would say like and I probably heard this somewhere read it somewhere but like the idea of like you can be like your heroes Yes, you know you what like what do you like about the person you say you like right? They're kind okay, so just be kind

That's what people like you know or oh, I like that guy cuz he's down to earth Yes, so then you should try to be down to earth You know it's very so you just you you should be like the people you know and you can also have anti-heroes me and my Parents have a very tumultuous relationship, and so that's a positive for me because I'm going I don't want to be like that Yeah, or that quality. I don't want to be like and so me it was always lazy people I I had a like a severe disdain for lazy people like an Aggressive disdain I'd be angry at people if they're lazy when I was a young man It's because I was so scared of being lazy

I was so I was so scared of being a loser that I if I saw any laziness in people I get angry Which is weird because you love pot yeah, but that a lot of pot guys are just they're happy with their laziness Yeah, it's not me man. I know you're the opposite you like the most productive pothead. I've ever known It's not to me. It doesn't slow me down It makes me think more and when I more, I think about all the shit I need to get done. And I think about how I'll feel if I don't accomplish what I wanna accomplish.

Like if I don't put in the work, I start freaking out. What's your exact strand? Because that's the one everyone needs. Whatever the strand is you're doing. I like sativas over indicas, but I don't like to get super duper high. I just, I know, it's like drunk. It's like, I like two drinks.

Two drinks and I go on stage, I'm the life of the party. We're all friends! Come on, what's up? Four drinks, and I'm like, what did I just talk about five minutes ago? Make sure I don't repeat my jokes, you know? Make sure I don't bring up something that I'm not sure where it goes yet, you know?

I didn't look at my notes before I went on stage, like, I can't, Four drinks is too much. Or you go, I'll scrap these first four parts of the bit and just do this joke and you're like, why'd you scrap those? I was like, I don't know, I was drunk, I just jumped right to that part. Pop makes me really consider all the things I'm not doing. It makes me call friends and check in on them. Love that. Yeah, it makes me like way more like kind and compassionate and friendly. I want to hug people. Mushrooms does that for me. Same thing, yeah.

Yeah, that one was like a life-changing thing for me. Yeah. Because I was like, I don't know, I'm trying to explain something scientific that I don't know nothing about, but if I had to describe how it felt, it felt like it connected things for me. Where I was like, oh, I need to be a little bit more, I need to work on this, or I need to check in with so and so, or I need to let go of that. And that was all because of, I kind of came back a different guy after mushrooms. Well I think one of the primary things that it does is it dissolves your ego. And the ego I think is a giant cage that we all live in. And you can kind of see the

world from outside the cage, but the ego is there protecting you from reality sometimes. The ego is there protecting you from your understanding of your own mistakes, which we all have. And some people bullshit themselves, but they keep it in the back of their head. The ego is what's doing all that for you. And it's doing that as like this little shield, this little cage that you put in

that allows you to move through the world. And mushrooms just takes that down. And then you just get to see the world for what it really is and see you for where you really are. And then see like some of the behaviors that you always regret about yourself. Why am I doing that? What is that? And then you can kind of see the roots of it all. And you see the cause and effect of interactions with people. I remember one time I had a psychedelic experience and I was closing my eyes and I saw positive

thoughts as a different pattern. Like I had a negative thought and the pattern turned like dark and then I had a positive thought like, oh no, no, no, don't think negative and it went, ha, like flowered open. Love that. These beautiful patterns and then it was like the thing, like the mushroom was telling me, that's the way to go. Right. That perception. Yeah, you can lean into negativity if you want to. You want to be a cunt. There's plenty of cunts out there. Yeah, but there's people out there that are doing that. They're filled with anxiety. It's wrecking their life. Just nice. People love being wronged.

It's such a treat for them to hold on to their wrong, the things they've been wronged and so like that's such a great way to describe that. Because really the, my failures and my flaws and the things I want to work on and all that stuff are the connection. Like that's when, like when I was able to go, man, I think I really have a problem here and I need some help, people were excited to help me. Right. Because it gave them a excited to help me right because it gave Them a chance to help and serve and connect and so as opposed to me thinking I needed to pretend

I didn't have a problem or they wouldn't be my friends it made them So much better friends knowing like oh we can help them right so and that's just I keep using sobriety as an example But just in general the connection is That you know connections everything like real. The connection is everything. Like, real connection with people is everything. And you gotta have good people around you. Like, this whole idea of being nice, meek, or... Some people can't be nice. They're surrounded by assholes.

They're surrounded by people that are fucking with them and taking from them and ruining their life and interjecting in their life, and they're just like, ugh, they have to stand up for themselves. For sure. But you've gotta at least aspire to get into a better situation in life and surround yourself somehow.

There's a way, I've done it, you've done it. Surround yourself with nice people. 100%. It can be done. Yeah, 100%. It can be done. Find a group, find a friend, find a church, find a, and also be that person so that you attract those people.

Again, figure it out I was describing my buddy Chris the other day like like what I think the problem is Was kind of like modern? Time so you know that's kind of vague, but it's like I see I've always seen my life is like I Got dealt a card of hands. You know some of those cards real good and some of the cards not good But that's the hand that was dealt right we've all been dealt some hand of cards. A lot of people bad ones, some people really good ones, we've just been dealt a hand. And I thought to myself, how can I play these cards?

I didn't start bitching about the rules of poker. Like I didn't start going, hey, dealer, maybe we should change the whole board. Like no, I just, all I can do is play my hand. And I think that like that's kind of how I'm viewing Modern times where people would rather complain about the rules of poker instead of just playing their hands the best way they could well It's outcasts for the first time get collectively as a group and then act like bullies So they act like people have acted to them like most you know It's that old expression hurt people hurt people

Right so the nastiest meanest people online I find other than like white radical white supremacist Nazis and shit What just you're talking about social issues the meanest people with the left-wing people for whatever reason especially now And this is not to say there's not some cunts out there that are right-wing people is a ton of them Yeah, but I just it's commonplace for people who consider themselves good Kind people to say things like punch a Nazi right and then they get to define what a Nazi is and has nothing to do With a swastika nothing to do with hating Jews. You know you just be voted Republican. Oh, you're a fascist, right? Okay? You tell me first of all what does that mean? Yeah, you tell a fascist, okay. You tell me first of all, what does that mean? You tell me what that means.

Tell me what that word, define that word. You throw that word around so often. There's a lot of definitions of that word, right wing, authoritarian government, all that stuff. But also, like, forcing people to behave and think in a certain way. That's what they hate about religion. Yeah. They claim they hate religion because religious people tell them what to behave and think in a certain way. That's what they hate about religion. Yeah. They claim they hate religion because religious people tell them what to think and do.

It's a religion. And then they do a religious act of being like a liberal going, if you don't think like me, you must be bad. 100%. Racism's their devil. And it's okay to hate the devil. And so they try to hate it. Do you know who Marc Andreessen is? He's a brilliant venture capitalist like super

Genius guy and been on my podcast a couple times. He broke the whole woke thing down as a religion and like it is Blamed how you can get excommunicated. Yep and cast out and that's and people are fearful of that So they stay inside the lines. Yeah, there's a doctrine they all follow They're using race because guess what who'd want to be friends with the races. It's also gender It's also like stupid shit like you can be non-binary if you're a white man. You got nowhere to go Hey, I can't be I can't even be like right fucked with like nothing. No one's Discriminating against me you can become non-binary sure oh great You still fuck girls just have to say you're they them well for like in my ex like it before what I've like in my Observation like their left used to

Be really like the cool the progressive side the nice side the good side whereas to now like I'm like listen to yourselves You don't like rich people right you're mad at everyone wealthy. You're mad at the super wealthy you hate Jim bros You hate frat guys you hate straight white guys you hate boomers You're mad at your grandparents, but you You seem to not like a lot of people Yeah for being the most Just completely generalizing right also, where's our empathy? I think what if I ever met like a crazy right wing which I never have met any of these Nazis They're talking about but if I did meet one I believe that I could have some empathy for them and some sympathy and go, they're just dumb.

Yeah, they're not evil. They're just dumb. They can be, like, convinced otherwise. They're also, they're also programmed, right? It's generally they're programmed by the people around them. Yeah, but where's our empathy? I watched this documentary on Netflix. It was about, like, the KKK and the woman who made the woman who made the documentary was kind of a cute Muslim girl, and she interviewed actual white nationalists and KKK members. And she brings them into this thing. And what I learned from that documentary, what I got from it, was that, oh, they don't even really believe this.

They just wanted a group. They wanted a daddy. They wanted someone to like, they thought to themselves, I can hate black people? I mean, if they're over there I don't ever have to confront one and I don't ever have to be on and then when they will meet a black guy They'll go well not you we're talking about the idea They're not even talking about that actual person and the girl in the documentary goes well You know that you let me in and you've been very nice to me

And I'm a Muslim woman and the guys like well not you you're talking about yeah So it's because they just wanted a group like you right they just wanted a group like like black gang members or Hispanic MS 19 whatever these groups are whatever little lesbians Whatever your baseball team is they've needed a group and their group was like I can hate some people I've never seen before yeah, and that's why it's so dangerous like groups like We're then getting trapped because the the governor Whitmer case. Do you know that case? these guys conspired to kidnap the governor of Michigan Michigan yeah, and

There's 14 people involved 12 of them were FBI informants There's 14 people involved 12 of them were FBI informants Yeah, I think that these two dudes just wanted to be in a group. Yeah, that's it two guys. Hey, man We're gonna kidnap the yeah take over the government fuck. Yeah, that's hilarious Yeah, they just wanted some shit They were cool they're calling it a chat. Probably felt real cool. Yeah. Group chatting all the guys in the gang. We're gonna make some change. Yeah, we're getting a duct tape.

Vigilantes. Yeah, meanwhile these two guys thought they were cosplaying and then they got arrested. Like, I didn't know. I didn't really plan on doing it. I know. It wasn't even my idea. It's tricky.

Another problem I've noticed too, like along these lines, is like, let's say we're in a group. Let's say we have some group and then we find out one of the guys in our group did a bad thing. But we gotta pay our bills, right? We got a group, and also we do have a kind of camaraderie, so a bad thing groups like to do is cover up for that person. Right.

So like, it's not like every Catholic priest, I've heard all your terrible bits at the comedy clubs about the Catholic priests from every comic I know. It's not like all the ones were fine with sexually molesting children. It's just that there were a lot that did, and the church thought, this is not going to look good for us, let's cover this up. It happens in the military. Sometimes there's some bad guys in the military, and they don't want people to think if you send your daughters to the military, bad things are going to happen. So they kind of internally deal with it. You know? And that's a bad thing that groups do. Is that even in our own government, goes alright, let's find a way to cover that up.

Instead of dealing with this. Because if we just deal with it, it's going to reflect poorly on the group. What are we going to do with this Epstein client list? What's up? Is it really helping the world? Does Mr. Gates need this kind of attention? He's out there trying to cure polio. Leave him alone. Exactly. So you start to think,

let's protect the group. And we do it in all these ways. I think that's happened with the LGBTQ plus whatever. I think a lot of gay people are waking up and going, why did we let the trans people in this group? They're making us look terrible. Well, lesbians are having a real problem with it because there's a lot of trans men who identify

as lesbian. Yes. Or trans women. They say they're a lesbian and they get on lesbian apps and these girls are like, I'm looking for a vagina. 100%. What a dick, I don't fuck a guy. And now they're waking up going, maybe the trans struggle was different than the gay struggle, but we've let them in the group and now...

Well, a lot of gay guys think that the movement is homophobic because you're telling a young gay guy, no you're a woman, you're actually a woman. Well it's one of those things that you gotta say, some people it must be true because it's always been a thing. Like to have real gender dysphoria, to be in your mind, feel like a woman has always been a thing even if you're a guy. There's more feminine women that feel like women. So it's like, that's real. But also when you encourage that

and you reward people socially for that, and then you have Pride Day at kindergarten, and you're talking about sexual orientation of people that are nowhere near puberty, which is really crazy. And then you start like Having people that become trans all the sudden. They're amazing Yeah, where they were just really mediocre before like Bruce Jenner like he was the goof of the Kardashian show first of all

It makes no sense. No one's accomplished shit. This motherfucker was on the cover of we star He was a star and he was a fucking gold medalist in the decathlon the goddamn Olympics. Yeah, he was a national hero Yeah, he was a stud. Yeah, and meanwhile he's on this show with these influencers, and he's just getting nothing right He's just mocked. He's like I could be a pretty gal openly mocked He becomes a woman. He's woman of the year in six months Yeah, six months he took over the fucking woman. He's woman of the year in six months Months he took over the fucking game. He's like he's a winner It's like a Chinese autistic kid coming into your math class and fucking up the curve How do they get here? What's going on here? This guy's a G. He's got a 287 IQ. This is not fair

He just came in and took over superwoman He's everyone loved him until he started saying he was voting for Trump. Yeah now they hate him Which was hilarious like people were saying it's okay to misgender her This person call him Caitlin call her Caitlin whatever Doesn't seem to care right like is fine with you dead naming her what like this is who she is now right? She's comfortable in her own skin, 60 years old, out of the closet, the whole deal, yay. But people are, I saw this thing online where someone was saying it's okay to misgender Caitlyn Jenner because she voted for Trump.

So okay, so transphobia is okay if someone differs with you politically? It's crazy. Like what are you doing? I know I'm not being compassionate You're not being kind all these things that you said is only with total compliance Are you willing to give people this grace you must have total compliance to our ideology? No, you're cast out of the kingdom to leverage of power even if you're a trans woman Which is like at the top of the oppression list they're above regular cannibals or black people poor Mexicans like poor immigrants trans people

they're talking about they're attacking their own they're like literally like cannibalists just going like oh there's one but didn't fall in line didn't fall in line throw them out yeah it's the worst I also think it's like just a big overcorrection I think I think humans are like guilty of always over correcting. So it's like we were racist historically. I could go on about that for hours, but like let's say that's the idea that we're agreeing with that historically America was racist. So now the over correction is anything that is racist must be, don't ever even accuse a person of color of something wrong because we have to so over correct and we have to

say how many black friends we have and say how cool black things are and don't say that their hair is different because that would be a racist thing right or oh we used to be homophobic so now if a guy sucks a dick let's give him a parade let's put him in the White House celebrate exactly let's give him the charge of it's like the fucking guy in the dress who's in charge of nuclear energy just like us feeling women's clothes. Just let them suck dick We didn't need them to be in power. It's not exceptional just because they wear a dress right that's crazy. That's a nutty person You're not virtuous

Yeah, like and that's and like I think that there's a big difference between just letting someone live their life and not and being kind To them in society and not treating them different. I'm giving them all the same rights as opposed to celebrating it. I think you're absolutely right. It's just an extreme overcorrection. What we need to do is just let people be themselves and figure out who that is. But what is weird is when it becomes encouraged. And so then you get like with girls in particular, they're very vulnerable. Abigail Schreier wrote a book about this, about how many girls that are on the spectrum get convinced that they're very vulnerable. Abigail Schreier wrote a book about this about how many girls that are on the spectrum

get convinced that they're trans. And then the problem is there's some states that allow you, I think if you're 15, you can go and get puberty blockers or at the very least you can get testosterone. I know you can do that. Do you know that like Planned Parenthood is like the number one prescriber of testosterone? See if that's true.

But I think Planned Parenthood prescribes more testosterone than anybody, which is really crazy if that's true. That's wild. Because I think in some places they help people with gender transition. If you're a girl in some states, you don't even have to be an adult. You can go to them and you don't have the permission of your parents. If you... I don't know who you have to consult with or what you have to do, but I've heard it's alarmingly easy. And then now you're on testosterone.

And one of the things that testosterone does is it alleviates anxiety. Makes you feel stronger, you feel like more alert, you're more alive, like this, this is what I was missing. I was missing testosterone. It's like, no, you weren't. No, you weren't, that's not a natural part of your body. You just added something and now you feel way different,

but now you're gonna change your voice, and if you grow out of this, and if this is just a phase, well now you've fucked up your life and you can't ever have children. And there's a bunch of those ladies out there. The D-transitioners, they're stuck with deep voices for their whole lives, they're stuck with masculine features, they've cut their breasts off,

and they've done it before they were off and I got in trouble for posting adults I got in trouble for posting this is that true about planned paranoid I Don't want to get sued How many have you been sued anybody ever said did read it in a One article, but I don't know if this is legit was it say oh it says that but I'm trying to find out I don't know what it's the Dallas Express. It doesn't seem like that's the number one newspaper on the universe Plan paired among largest suppliers of testosterone right there Let's see what the numbers are they say numbers

I didn't even get 800 visits per year to more than 2,500 fucking it's the expression gender affirming care freaks me out I got trouble for posting this I said if genitals don't define gender. How does removing them affirm it ooh? That's fucking so that's to share. What are we doing like if yeah? Like really crazy you said like I don't need to have a vagina to be a woman then why do I need to remove? My penis to be a woman well back that up again the number of gender-affirming hormone therapy visits to Planned Parenthood tripled between 2021 and 2023, growing from 800 visits per year to more than 2,500. That's crazy.

That shows you that it's a social contagion, and that's Abigail Shrier's position on it. And it's a very compassionate, kind position, and it's about the future of children and them making decisions when they're very impressionable. And boy, do people attack her. They remove her from bookstores. They call her transphobic. Just for literally talking about facts and statistics and the numbers have increased and the psychological effect, like what's going on with them psychologically?

Like why are they being led? Who are these, what is the, what is the actual odds that nine friends all become trans? What are the odds that? It's almost zero. It's preposterous. It's preposterous. Absolutely, yeah.

But then again, it is also a real thing. Like there's always been people that have felt like they should have been a woman. And if you're a grown adult and you wanna to make that decision, yeah, you do whatever you want to do. I've met trans people that say they are very happy with what they've done. That's great. I guess.

But you gotta know what the fuck that is, and when you're 13 you don't. Yeah, I don't know if I'd encourage it even in an adult. I know that the correct statement for me right now would be like, just leave our kids alone. But I think that maybe I don't even want to encourage adults. We just got to pursue your own things and I think that's beautiful and I think that's what our country is about. But in my mind... Find a dude who doesn't care about the dick. If you're a trans woman, find a dude... find Jim Norton. Oh yeah, exactly. You can find a Jim Norton. You could have gotten a celebrity.

Yeah, I mean that's what happened with Jim. He's got a trans woman for a wife. He's happy, he talks about the dick. You know what's crazy about the Jim Norton thing? He's with these tough crowd guys, he's with all my heroes. I looked up to Jim Norton my whole life. I love Jim Norton, I'm a fan. And then they go, you know he's married to a trans woman. And I was like, the fuck?

And everyone's like, oh you Jeff and your trans thing. I was like, no, if I know Norton, he wouldn't have got married That's really what I was shocked about the institution of marriage he believes in that's ridiculous Jim Norton the overcorrection. Yeah, I show this is really your wife. Yeah marry her right? Where's all the girlfriends all the girls with their little stinky vaginas get out of here? Take my last name fuck off Yeah, it's very crazy man, that's the overcorrection But you wouldn't encourage someone and I know that I'm gonna take some hits for this

But you wouldn't encourage someone who believed that they were that their body was fat if it wasn't healthily You know like with an eating disorder and they said Carlson said that you don't say oh you are fat Yeah, Joe you know but I believe I should be and you go you're dying to write or it's no he what he said it About was anorexics like you would never tell an anorexic right oh you are fat And that's real right people are really out there believing they look in a mirror They're a skeleton right, but they look in the mirror. They go. I'm gross. I'm fat exactly you you wouldn't encourage it You never encouraged you know there's something wrong correct you would treat it I think the other problem is that the whole way

they do it you can't orgasm ever again okay and you don't really have a vagina you have this whole right and then you have to keep that whole dilated you have to stick something inside it I think it's like lip jobs like don't get the early ones wait till they get this down don't get the early ones. Wait till they get this down. Don't let people experiment on you by splicing your dick open like a hot dog. Wait. Just hang in there. Wait for the iPod 6. Wait for gene therapy. I firmly believe it might not be in our lifetime, but if maybe in our children or our grandchildren's lifetime, gene editing will get to a place where they will be able to turn you into whatever the fuck you want.

Right. And it's probably gonna be a nightmare because every guy's gonna look like Thor and every woman's gonna look like a Prime Jennifer Lopez. It's like there's not gonna be any variations. Everyone's gonna be super hot. Right. Right? You're not gonna appreciate hot people. Yeah, you will big whoop. Yeah, because like, you know, when a hot woman walks in a room and there's no other hot women, everyone's like, Whoa, one's here. Look what I got. look what I got look look at her. Oh my goodness

What is she looking like Megan right? But if everybody looks like that it's gonna be commonplace And I think we're gonna get to a place where every man's gonna look like the Hulk It's just gonna be just giant dudes nerds will for sure a hundred percent They're gonna be the first to sign up for that you know all these fucking Sure, a hundred percent they're gonna be the first to sign up for that you know all these fucking Dudes that go to the coffee shop and sit there with their legs crossed like this no working out They're fucking their shoulders slump. They're gonna look like the rock just fucking raw

Dude you know what's interesting about the like comic book world all the guys who like they read comics and it's Thor he's got shoulders like you and biceps like you he's Spider-Man all these dudes that are just fantastic fantastic heroes they can give us justice and beat your enemies Batman but then if they see you at the cop shop we go look at this douchebag you know what I look like your comic books. Like if Joe Rogan walked in, they should be going, holy shit, how does he look like that?

I want to look like that. But isn't it also weird that it's like the feeblest men that really love the super powerful men in these fantasies, but not real life. But they don't want to just work out to look like them. But that's too hard, Jeff. But just do it. Be like your heroes. I go in there and they beg on me. Yeah, because it's true, too. They look at me weird. Yeah, that's too hard Jeff, but just do it be like your heroes

They look at me weird, yeah, that's so hard if you're like scrawny and you go to a gym for the first time It's so disheartening stuff and so what girls with those fucking yoga pants on that You might as well be a pile of shit to them. Well, there's all these big jack guys doing squash That's motivation, baby Your little fucking ten pound dumbbells my arms Yeah, it takes so long guys if you were slamming weights you guys love to slam weights so long to get strong It takes forever so many reps. Oh you gotta keep doing it Tomorrow They go I gotta do this again tomorrow

It's so hard that most people just want to dismiss it But it's fun if you could do it in a pill you at all I always tell to anybody can't if I could give you a pill and that pill would give you more energy throughout the day You could pick up anything you can carry things around you never have to worry about yourself physically Yeah, you're stronger than most people you meet you know how to fight wouldn't wouldn't you take that pill? Yeah, well you can do that pill stupid. It's called hard work. Absolutely. That's all that's so true. Yeah Will change everything for you, you know, it's boring to take all those vitamins take the vitamins you fucking retard But you open up the cabinet. We don't know I've got to work at Chipotle

You've got enough protein and enough fat your fucking cars a race car But you don't have the free time I have a family and it is free time You just choose to do it with other things choose to sit there with your fucking phone out Yes, scrolling through and checking your likes and arguing with people on Twitter. Yeah, that's how I feel like you got plenty of time to Go to McDonald's you got time to David got plenty of time to go to McDonald's. You got time to... David Goggins has that great quote where he's like, he says, this guy said to me,

the gym membership is too expensive. He goes, you got a motherfucking floor where you live? You got a ground where you're at? Didn't work out, motherfucker? And I love that kind of mentality of like, you could do a whole workout right there. All you need is a chin-up bar That's the only and you don't even need that you can get those things that hang on your door

You don't have to do like a permanent push-ups They have good chin-up bars now that like attached to your door frame and they're solid and they hold you in place you screw Them in they're good. They're legit and all you need is that and push-ups bodyweight squats sit-ups There's a bunch of different yoga exercise outside. Oh, yeah, pick up a rock free rock. Oh, yeah Yeah, it's not a cool kettlebell with a monkey hate on it But you know you can rocks are heavy rocks are awkward tree branch I know and back seven thousand parks by my house that have a bar that you wouldn't have to buy on Amazon You could just go hang from it. Yeah. Yeah, those are always good monkey bars. Those are great. I'll do it

That's the number one way kids break their fucking arms, too Oh, really? Yeah, my daughter broke her arm on a monkey bar. I broke my arm in a monkey bar Really at school like she broke it. Yeah Yeah, I did school and that school is like boy that monkey bar is really high off the ground This is crazy. I like that though, and she's a little reckless ninja warrior. Yeah. Well, that's what it is All these kids are just trying to have fun, but they don't understand their limitations yet That's why it's dangerous to have them in an environment like that Because they've you know, but that's how you learn. We were kids. They had those domes. Oh, yeah

Climb inside kids were always triangles. Yeah, there's foots in it, but they fall this way Apart those fucking things. What's the dome one? We we had we had an actual like circular one that was little triangles Yeah, we had one of those two and there was but there was one that was like it was like a half a circle Right. Oh dome with all these monkey bars inside of it and shit Oh, yeah, that's the one I had. Yeah, we had that and there would be like one bar missing sometimes like on the thing You'd be like what happened to her Screws sticking out of it. Yeah, but kids always bang their head I bang my head a hundred times on those fucking it also forces creativity too cuz you like, you know, there's no iPad there There's no like video. There's no candy crush. So you had to be like, alright, this is our igloo that we're gonna protect

I don't know. I wonder if that's good everybody wants to like look back to days and everyone was bored and say and like Romantically, yeah, you'd make your own fun. Like I think I've had a video game. Yeah been way more fun Well, we had both I had the 90s So we had both like when I was a kid, we would play video games all night But during the day there was something fun about wrestling, you know, like a human part of it, right? So we really were making up things with guns and just like shooting each other. Say the best of both worlds.

Yeah, we kind of both. But that was before online media or online social media. Oh yeah, we weren't online playing video games either. It was just me versus my buddy. I think the social media thing is the craziest part of it. I think kids are just, first of all, they're weirdly connected because they all get on Snapchat and then they have a snap map So they know where all their friends are at any given time

Yeah and and so they're they're constantly like paying attention to that and Finding each other and they go in groups and they go to this party and oh they're at this party Let's go to that party. See him on the maps. They're adults that you just described adults There's not even kids anymore They're little kids that are like traveling around with their friends with phones, and they only talk through text messages. Yeah, that's adults. Yeah, which sucks.

Fucking weird. It sucks. A weird new life. They still do like kids today, they still do physical things, they just still do sports, you know, but when we were kids, the thing about not having any other influences, especially like social media influences, you didn't really aspire to be exactly like other people. You know? It's like there was groups of people that, you know, you gravitated towards being a jock,

you gravitated towards being an artist, but you didn't try to like completely Copy whatever trend is going on nowadays kids are they leave their fucking stupid label and their Their Nikes like what is that? What is that? We're supposed to be cool to keep your fucking label on your night. Yeah, the tag is like look. It's a limited edition It's like it's not I made they made a bunch of those Oh, that's hilarious knife out. I go cut that off. Oh Sheep are you a little sheep you got a fucking Nikes and he did he goes you're right. I go. I'm right. I love that right. Yeah, everyone knows That's a stupid white label or whatever. What is it called? It's called an off white

Yeah, what it means that it has that red tag on it. Yeah, stupid. Just that fucking knife man. Cut it off. Cut it off right in the green room. That's a daddy moment for him. Give him a knife. You give you just said hey, I'm dad here. You need to... This is nonsense. You are not doing this. I love that. You're not gonna have a propeller on your hat. Keep the sticker on your... Take that propeller off your fucking hat. It's where dick grow up. Yeah. you don't have to have that label.

When I was a kid, dudes would have labels on their hats. I hate that. They'd buy new hats and they'd leave the tag. Or the sticker on the bill is one of my biggest pet peeves. The sticker on the bill is stupid. Take that sticker off. Take the sticker off. Why do you have that shiny stupid sticker? Makes no sense to me.

That's dumb. Yeah. I think that one thing that I do look backwards in and think about, and this is a mushroom thought for sure, this came to me, you know, whereas like, I would say, my mom would go, why do you need these expensive shoes for school? And I didn't have the intelligence at the time to explain it to her now, but now I look back and I go, I wish I would have said, mom, my whole social structure is based on this. Because I don't have the internet, which would later come out. I don't have these things. When, at least in the 90s and the late 80s when I was growing up, Amber Shoemaker was the hottest girl at our school, which meant

Amber Shoemaker's the hottest woman in our universe. I didn't go online and go, well, Amber's not. I didn't have anyone else. That's the hottest girl. Do you know what I'm saying? The coolest else That's the hottest girl right I'm saying the coolest guy in our school Anthony Medina was the coolest guy in the world because that's our world right right whereas kids now could go who gives a shit about Anthony Medina right I'm following LeBron and I'm fine so like we had our own little realities you know so it's like I didn't give a shit about the The bulls necessarily, but if Mike Jensen from my school said the bulls are cool, I like the bulls. I didn't have anywhere to escape to. I need to do what I can, and I think even before me was probably even better than that. I think like when cowboys roamed the earth, that might have been number one.

No, no, no, no. You don't think so? Because here's why, hear me out. That cat, let's say we're cowboys, we're on the ridge line. Cowboys, like LA. Sun's going down. Yeah, let's say we're cowboys. We're on the ridge line. Cowboys, like LA. And we, sun's going down. Yeah, sun's going down. Kind of your house? Kind of your house?

Or they're kind of- Yeah. No, no, but we're- A real one? We have a house, but we're now on the ridge line with our horses. Oh, we're on the road. A few days. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

On a trail. And say, hey buddy, let's, the sun's going down, let's make a fire. Okay. All right. But we gotta brush the horses. We gotta do our shit. Right, right, right, right, right. We're eating our can, we see all these twinkling lights out there and we go, we got a picture

of our lady in our wallet, like, oh man, I can't wait to get home to her, you know, say some dirty things about her. And then I would eat my beans, and then I'd say, I wonder what everyone's doing out there. I would just wonder. Yeah, that is a really cute version of what it meant like to be a cowboy. Here's what it really was like. You would stay up and I would sleep because we don't want anybody raping and killing us in the middle of the night because the Indians have been following us for miles and we don't know they've been following

us and we're too stupid to cold camp. Okay, so we started a fire which makes you really easy to spot and they just wait until that fire starts getting dim and they hear snoring and they come in and they cut you up and they fuck you and they do whatever they want. No, you're supposed to stay awake and slaughter them. Well, I mean, there's only two of us. There's like seven or eight of them and you know back in the musket days, there's a lot of reloading time. I get one of them. That's why the Coman's dominated this area because they were using single-shot guns But you know that's racist. They were just sitting here peacefully the Comanche's The Comanche's had multiple arrows on their fingers So they keep like four or five arrows and they would shoot one and then shoot another one

Shoot another one. They were just fucking these dudes up I bet it the only thing to save this entire state The only reason why people were able to conquer was the Colt Pistol right when they figured out how to make a pistol with like a chamber. It was Colt right wasn't it I? Think it was Colt so they developed it the the believe this or not at the time the military didn't want really They're like what are we doing with these six shots? We got one really good enough. Yeah, I didn't sell him That's ridiculous sold him to the Texas Rangers That's a nice Smith that guy who's out in the hallway that photograph. Yeah, that's why he's there That's that's the original Texas Rangers. I wouldn't they want more bullets

Quicker excessively like that because this is the government there always they always been retired That's ridiculous. They were even retired in the 1800s bullets So this was a novel invention yeah This guy figured out a revolver. And it was like, you had to take the cylinder out, put a new cylinder in. But every time he did it, you got five or six? Was it six shots or five? So it was the first time ever you could fire multiple times, then you just start fucking up these Indians.

And they started taking over. But it's these guys that like, they dressed like Indians, they fucking infiltrated, they cold camped, they would go deep, deep, deep into like uncharted territory those were probably just bad guys pretending to be Indians to make the Indians look bad oh no no they were bad guys just but they were bad guys to go after the Indians yeah they were bad guys no but I was so we're the fucking Indians oh for sure they were bad to each other exactly they were also that's why I always get so mad

about the debate about like Well, you came here like white people came here and did bet It's like dude you think that they weren't all fighting for land here. They were all fighting But they didn't ever ever ever surrender Yeah, there's lots of tribes if they got if they surrendered they were tortured and murdered like the Comanche used to chop Dude's arms off and legs off and then throw them while they're still alive on a roaring fire That's a watch them squirm around. Yeah, it was fun. They were having a good time I meant mentally earlier for my early analogy of the cute cowboy stuff. No, no, no, no

No, what I was saying is that mentally we didn't compare. It was dangerous. I know I believe I All that home on the range shit is straight-up. No shit what I mean is they didn't compare All right, because they were there you hear that sound you had too many real things someone's raping an Indian lady, right? fucking your gunshots and children you wouldn't think oh So what that Jeff dies with me is so what that he's funny. He's no Dave Chappelle You didn't compare. But they did, like Billy the Kid. Like people became famous, they became infamous, these people that everybody wanted to be like

Billy the Kid. Well that was one guy that we tried to be like. Right now I'd go, big deal Billy the Kid, there's a guy in Japan that can shoot 70, like the phone makes you have 7 million, you don't even appreciate your wife learning guitar because you go She's no Bob Dylan. You know who gives a shit, so that's what I was trying to say That guy's mean, but you know I think of that clap is thinking that Really give her a break dude. Yeah, but I meant mentally we didn't compare

I think we are not designed for it, but I think kids will be I think the human mind is going to adapt to Technology and interacting with each other and I think socially people are adapting to interacting with each other You know like the way kids like go after each other online like they're adapted to it They're not it's normalized to them Just like you know if you live in a war-torn part of the world seeing dead people's it normalizes to you Sure, I think kids are normalizing to electronics and people want to resist that and they want to say I don't let my kids Do use electronics like It's part of the world. I use it. It's a part of the world doesn't it's not a barrier to being a good person

It's not a barrier to living a happy healthy life Yeah, just like alcohol is not a barrier for some people it is right some people have a Real fucking problem with social media, and you see a lot of comics especially the unsuccessful ones when they start falling apart They get older just Exacerbates their mental illness, and then it becomes all politics Yeah, these guys used to talk about farts and getting their dick sucked now It's all politics, and it's all like life hangs on every decision. Yeah, and we're doomed right takes place doom You know what comedian dude does that is Kathy Griffin?

That guy does a lot. Oh, you know I mean You just like that guy's one unhinged you go on there It's all day just some doom and gloom Do you think that that's because like that's how they find meaning in an otherwise meaningless existence Like what is it about it people where their entire life becomes? Completely wrapped around politics to the point where they're tweeting about it literally all day long and saying these things that they think are profound About all kinds of different issues.

I think it's got to be some sort of virtue signaling. Like it's their way to go, look at how good I am. It's also a way to show that you're relevant. You know, you're talking about the things that people care about right now and you're chiming in and saying the things that need to be said. You're being heard. Yeah. You know, there's a lot of like weird, there's a lot of just, they want attention.

There's a narcissism to a lot of it. But then there's also people that are capable of going online and having interesting discussions with people they don't know. And if you can manage that, you can actually get a lot out of like Twitter and X and all these different ways. You can get a lot out of it. You can get a lot, but it's so hard to do. I know.

Because it's like so, it's such a, it's like you're, you're deciphering smoke signals. It's like the person's not even in front of you. Yeah. You know, like you're getting these weird interactions with people. There's a lot of like, like, what does this guy mean by that? Is he being shitty? Is he just being honest? Like what is this? Yeah, it's very tough to translate their... To suck you in a way to communicate. What are they doing? Like, what is that tough to translate their to suck you away to community What are they doing like what is that where they trying to be funny right there where they try? Yeah?

It's very tricky well I'm very lucky and then I get to talk to so many interesting people so I don't need to have as many interesting conversations Online with people yeah, and also your comedian my favorite thing about being a comedian is I get heard a lot Yeah, we get to be heard that even when I'm wrong, I get to be heard. So like, is I... You can be wrong and still funny. Yeah, that's the beauty of it. That was Patrice's whole act.

Yeah, yeah. 100%. I'm often sometimes wrong and it's just so funny. They go, oh yeah, like I like this guy. If it's funny, and also this part of being wrong on purpose. Like, I say things that I know is wrong on purpose, because it's funny. It's funny to say. You're going for the laugh first. Yeah, I'm just trying to be silly. I'm trying to be silly. That's what I like. That's the kind of comedy

I like right so I'm gonna do that and you can like it or you don't like it 100% what? Infuriates me is when people try to take jokes or talking shit and just conflate it and pretend that it's a statement I know like you It drives me crazy. Do you not have any friends? Right, I know. Do you not have any friends? You don't joke? Yeah, exactly. You don't pretend.

You wonder why all these comics wanna go to the right? It's cause freedom of speech is a pretty big deal to us. Yeah. Naturally, it's a pretty big deal that we can say whatever we want. Cause you just think racism is bad. Yeah. But it is kind of funny sometimes.

It's very funny when it's about white people. Sexism is bad, but it's pretty funny sometimes. Sometimes. Yeah. If it is kind of funny sometimes it's very funny sexism is about right people, but it's pretty funny sometimes Yeah, if it's well made it's funny if it's funny enough meme a solid me great love it Yeah, exactly things are funny and people go well. That's racist you go I wait and it's racial and it's funny, but don't just assume that it's this blankly bad thing Yeah, it's it's such a silly like it's funny. No matter who gets it, right? It's funny if white guys get it. It's front of funny of white women get it It's funny if Indian guys get it. Yeah, things are funny when people get it when they get them jokes

They don't care about the racial stuff when it's when it's like a comic of any other race doing it, right? You're like if you're gonna use that same measuring stick go to the laugh factor You could cancel all 12 comedians that are on stage Making easy racial remarks, but they're like, but he's Persian. I know but it's still a racial remark You know, especially if you're cracking on white people you could crack on white people as hard as you want. Yeah It's great, which is so vague too I don't know if this is a smart idea or not, but it's something I always think is like it's so vague These shitty comics like harry khan to Bulu white people, white people. What white people? Which ones? French? Canadian? Do Jews count? Croatian? What a great lump you've done. All white? You know how many countries that covers? And then you go, well,

that's why we're saying it, because we don't mean a specific country, we're talking about it. But then, so then that's racist. You go, white's not a race it's just a it's a color of the... Well then how come black is a race? Because black would be Haiti, it would be tons of parts of Africa. You know so I guess my point is like then then it's not racist when I say black, if it's not racist when you say white because you're over-glamming the big thing. Yeah, it's ridiculous. Also how much do white people vary? There's so many white people.

They vary so much. It's so vague. To just say white men like oh god. You must be rich because you're white. You're like do you know how many poor white people there are? Go to Kentucky. Most of them are poor. Yeah, go to where the fucking coal mines are.

Those coal mining communities where people have just been popping pills since the 80s. Meth? Yeah. You've never heard of white trash? Like we dominate the poor community. Have you ever seen the wild and wonderful whites of West Virginia? Yeah, dude, Jessica White.

Fucking amazing. Those dancing skills. Didn't Johnny Knoxville produce that? That's how I saw it. I don't know if it was Johnny Knoxville, but Jack Hole Productions or whatever it was. Yeah, I think Knoxville made that. It's fucking incredible.

Oh, amazing. But that's white people too. Yeah. Okay, these poor white people are, they're just victims of their environment, man. They're teaching college kids that like, if you're a straight white guy, they just hand you suitcases full of money, and that you have no troubles, and the cops don't target you. It's a cop's job. You see what Trump said today? I'll send this to you Jamie, because this is wild. This is a wild move. I'll send this to you Jamie. It is what he said about colleges...

Oh, I love it. ...and DEI endowments. I love it. I'll send this to you Jamie. He's doing so much crazy shit because he only has one term, you know, like all the different things that he said so far about completely banning all of these gender transition clinics for kids, hormone therapies for kids, puberty blockers for kids, like stop that. And, you know, and he even called them out for the expression, gender affirming kids. That's a crazy, like a literal dystopian euphemism for what you're doing.

And he said Marxists multiple times. And people are going to go, they're not Marxists. Do you know BLM self-proclaimed themselves as Marxists? So you can find hundreds of times where they say, we are Marxists. So before anybody comments, well, they're not really, they've called themselves the Marxists. I think a lot of people like blanketly support that just because it seems like a smart idea. Yeah, black lives matter. Of course they do. Yeah. There's cops that have killed people. We've seen it. Okay. Yeah. It's definitely good to support that. But then you find out all the other stuff behind it. and then you find out that the people

that were running it were fucking buying real estate. Yes! Doing a little homework. They gave all your money to trans people, they didn't help the black community at all. It's not only going to tax, but confiscate endowments of every university the Department of Justice finds has engaged in illegal discrimination under the guise of equity, which is basically every university in the country, but is especially true with the Ivy equity, which is basically every university in the country, but is especially true with the Ivy League, which is, if this happens, we'll die.

They will crush, oh, okay. But this is, you know who suffers the most from this discrimination, from discrimination, is Asian people. Do you know why? Because Asian people score so high, and they work so hard, they make it more difficult for them to get it.

They have to have higher grades and they have to have a higher score. They score them based on social interactions. Which is crazy. If you're studying 18 hours a day, like a lot of these Asian people do. I'm going to win. Yeah, well it's their culture. Their culture is this nose to the the grindstone hard work discipline culture I had a buddy mine no one in America is mad at them for succeeding we encourage it. It's good

I had a buddy of mine that was a national taekwondo champion while he was going through his medical residency He was Korean and his father no matter what he did this guy won the nationals He was the national taekwondo champion, and he wasn't like talented either It wasn't like he was hard work. It was a hundred percent hard work Yeah and this fucking guy like would work all day long at school and then put his books in his backpack and Walk upstairs to get a workout and love it He would just do flights of stairs over and over again while it was at school because he had to do something and then go

Back to school won the fucking nationals like that and that's like beautiful It's this kind of crazy work ethic that some Asian households instill in their children And it's tough to compete with them. So what they've done is they've you know, there's been lawsuits about it I believe Harvard was sued right was Harvard sued that they were discriminating against Asian Americans So they have like ways that what they're saying is with the what they were Complaining was that there's ways that they have that Like accentuate certain attributes like that lets you get in like think social things that you do different things you do They give you extra points though

They felt like was designed just to keep less Asian people in like crazy to push some of them out because so many of them We're getting in there and dominating. Yeah Dominating the fuck yeah, but that's great. Yes Well, this is man if you come from the best of the best how a hard-working household and you you develop that work ethic You can you might not be happy. That's part of the problem Well, I like that they complain about their tiger moms and you're like dude, they made you successful. Right. You got to figure out how to be happy. Right. That's up for you to do.

This is it. The lawsuit, a threat to education... What happened? An organization created by anti-race conscious admissions activist Edward Blum citing itself students for fair admissions sued Harvard, alleging that the university discriminates against Asian Americans and seeking to prevent Harvard College and other colleges and universities from using a wide-ranging and thorough admissions process that considers the whole person. Love that. Hmm, interesting. So this, this, that's interesting though because on paper that sounds like a good thing, a wide-ranging and thorough

admissions process that considers the whole person. If you wanna educate a child, right, you want a kid to go from being a young teenager to being an adult, and you're educating them, there is a social aspect to it, right? You don't wanna develop complete sociopaths that just go to work.

But you can't also you can't like stop that option. Like there's people want a quality of outcome. It's a very important point. But there's not a quality of effort. It just isn't. And in the mad dog race of life you're occasionally gonna get a Michael Jordan. You're gonna get a guy who works harder than everybody and he's gifted and he's gonna exceed. He's gonna pass you all and there's nothing you could do about it nothing you do about Mike Tyson when he's 22 years old get the fuck out of the way pick up tennis he's gonna kill you yeah he's gonna be number two maybe you want to be

number two you're eventually gonna get to have fight number one and that's not gonna be a lot of fun you heard this is the world's not fair yeah right and that guy when you saw the way he trained when he was a young man, he trained like a person possessed. He lived, he watched film all day. He was obsessed with fighting. That's all he had. And talented and gifted.

So if you have those things altogether, the world is not fair. And you can't make it fair with laws, and you can't make it fair with rules, and it doesn't make you any better to suppress someone in some sort of a way by diminishing their success. And that includes someone who's a fucking complete psychopath who studies 18 hours a day and dominates and starts a business when they're 19, becomes a billionaire by the time they're 26, and then all of a sudden, you know, buys Twitter from Elon Musk. You can't stop that!

Ask one of these crazy people who doesn't understand these kind of things or has never even thought of it. Say oh you know you're watching I noticed you're watching the WNBA game do you think it's unfair that Britney Griner makes more than her teammates and they'll go no she's the best right right right that's the just like anyone else that's the best yeah makes more money how you in how can you understand that Brittany Griner makes more than her teammates? but you can't understand that the NBA generates more money and is better makes more than the WNBA Right, how can you in brain?

Well what people get scared of is the amount of control and power that you have with that kind of money and then some people Want to make decisions for all of us like Bill Gates Like one of the wackiest ones he's talking about like blocking the Sun putting particles in the sky to block the Sun to cool the earth Like hey fuckhead. Maybe a whole lot of people on earth You don't get this say all of us you don't talk for all of us just because you have a hundred billion dollars That's crazy time right? That's what people are scared of people are scared of is that when you really do have ultimate money and ultimate power with most people there's this desire to control people it's part of the gig and

some of them when they decide they don't want to go into politics they start like influencing things behind the scenes they start donating they have funds they have a giant fund and their fund Donates to all these different organizations and it and Bill Gates is what the case it prevented them from Criticizing him because the bill and Melinda Gates foundation they donate all this money these media corporations and all these companies Look at all the money. Yep, giving you to help global health and yeah What it really does is it buys off people from criticizing? I'm sure and then you start doing wild shit like telling everybody they should eat plant-based food and fucking buy all the farmland.

Whatever they want you to do. You start controlling people. It's like people like to pull strings on people. The George Soros's of the world. It scares me so much. Get DA's elected and then put an even more progressive DA to go in after him and see if he can fuck with things by letting people out of jail and defunding the cops and it's like they're playing these weird monopoly games with the whole world.

You know where you saw the, like a great example was when Barack Obama got into office, Michelle Obama's whole thing was like nutrition, like that was what she was gonna like really like work on and dude it was almost like after two weeks someone brought her in the bag and was like listen bitch, we hear what you're saying about the food industry I don't know if you know how much bread we're putting in your husband's pockets And then she immediately was like maybe fitness. Maybe your kids could run around ten minutes a day How about that is that better she gave up the food gave up the food stuff. It just was immediately Is that the same thing

What is that, Jamie? I didn't have it muted. Is that the same thing? No, I didn't have it muted. It wasn't supposed to be muted. Oh, sorry. But then it was like all of it, all the focus went towards, hey, just 10 minutes a day, have your kids go outside and play. It was all the food stuff gone.

Wow. Yeah, and you realize, oh, there are other things. There's like all these other things that are at play. It's not just other things. It's money. Billions and billions of dollars. When you're that far ahead of the game You know if you're playing a game, and you cannot you cannot beat the game. There's no way to beat it You're on level one

There's a million levels the people that have been playing it that you're playing against they've been playing for 30 years They have all the armor. Oh, yeah, all the magic spells You're not gonna win that game And that is what people are really scared about with people who have a lot of money. Is that they don't just have a boat, they don't just have a house, but then they start influencing what people can and can't do. Then they start funding studies to talk about particular types of energy because they've got an enormous amount of money invested in this green renewable energy, whatever it is. But what it really is, is money.

They're not ever doing anything for you. Ever. Whether it's climate change or whatever the whether it's energy, it's always money. And they'll flavor it. It's for you. It's for us. We have to worry about the environment. Didn't Al Gore become the first guy to make a billion dollars Off of climate change. I know he's what definitely the face of it for a long time But I read that that Al Gore could be bullshit But I read that that Al Gore was the first climate change Billionaire interesting things that he invested in that movie that he put out that scared the fuck. Oh, yeah We're all like we got to do something Yeah, I saw that way not a single thing not a single thing was accurate not even right close

Yeah, not my little bit made by Michael Moore because he might as well just been Michael Moore is more accurate He was at least back in the day. Yeah, what's Roger and me Michael Moore in the early days made some great films Well, I think a lot of it was just bullcrap Well, not the first one of it was just bull crap. Well, not the first one, not Roger and B. Remember when he did a scene where these kids go into a bank and they buy a gun over the counter from the bank. And I was like...

Yeah, it was his gun one, bowling for Columbine or whatever. And I remember seeing that scene as like, I worked at Hollywood Video at the time, and I was like, this is terrifying, we gotta get rid of these guns. And then I looked into it years later when the internet kind of grew, and I was like, that was total bullshit. got to get rid of these guns. And then I looked into it years later when the internet kind of grew and I was like, oh, it's a total bullshit.

It was like a made up scene. Made up a scene? Yeah, which that's why we weren't even allowed at Hollywood video to keep Michael Moore's movies in the documentary section. We weren't even allowed to keep it in that section. Really? Because it's not counted as a documentary.

Oh, see, it didn't used to be like that. I kind of, I've got to be honest. I don't think I watched Bowling for Columbine. I might have, it was so long ago. But I do remember Roger and me being very impactful because it was about the auto industry moving out of Flint, Michigan Oh, yeah, yeah and about how the town collapsed Happens in Pittsburgh just in Pittsburgh and you see all these abandoned warehouses where Americans used to work Yeah, and you go. Oh, wasn't it better with Chinese slaves making you $300 sneakers like it's no it's not better

It's not better at all better It's not better for anybody. It's crazy what they did and they just did it for money. They did it for money. They shipped over things overseas because they can get people to work for nothing which is so crazy. I know. That you can't do it here but you do it there.

That's why. I was talking to this person who ran a plant in Mexico. We were getting a little tipsy and I didn't like what they were justifying this procedure of doing that. And they were trying to tell me that these people would starve to death if it wasn't for that plant.

I go, those people have been there for thousands of years. I go, and you know why they don't have any money? Probably because we bribed their government, we gave them loans they couldn't pay off, and then we took all their resources, and we gave them loans they couldn't pay off, and then we took all their resources, and then we moved plants over there. And the pollution of the plants is just insane too.

They live in fog-filled cities. We can go back to the entire areas run by the cartel because we have drugs illegal in this country unless they're prescribed. And then you have the sack of family that makes billions of dollars. What about all this? Nobody's worried about that slavery.

Everyone wants to talk about slavery that we abolished in this country. Everyone wants to talk about that slavery. But not a slave that made your phone. But not the current slavery that made this. Or my shoes, or all the things you wear, or how about the sex trafficking? How about the women that are slaves right now?

Well, how about the amount of women that that probably been smuggled across the border? We don't even know what those numbers if I put together enough money, right? I'm not super rich, but I've got some money if I put together like my life mission was to fix that They just kill me in a month. Go ahead. No chance. What are you doing, dude? Tell jokes and talk about baseball Why are you trying to help in something that matters? Yeah, I'm actually trying to shut down the cartel. Oh, and you live in a normal house. I'd make it a week Wouldn't let you go what happened to Jeff. That's a billion dollar a month business You're right the fuck are you talking about why I gotta let you get away with that way to you

Yeah, they kill everybody when they kill you so you've got all these problems and and then you know problems and then shipping these factories to these other places, it doesn't keep people from starving to death. It's just we were doing an unethical thing. You can't do it on this patch of dirt, but if you just move it to that patch of dirt, now you can do unethical things. Now it's fine. This is crazy. What is this, a casino cruise ship?

Right. Not only that, now that we know. So they did that back then when there was no internet. You sneak it it across the board nobody I'm still my look my car is five dollars cheaper Yeah, you don't care yeah, and so everybody you hear some stories about Michigan if you don't live there and whatever I'm over here in LA right go fuck exactly I got a nice car But your car is made in Mexico, and it's like right we we don't even realize like what the impact that was But now that we have the internet, now you can see it. And we still do it.

Right. It's like it's grandfathered in that you buy your phone from a company that uses slaves. 100%. And the factories literally have nets around them to keep people from jumping off, and we're like, okay. And also, I'm not pretending I'm better than anyone else, right? Right. I promise that. But I don't yammer on on my social media about slavery all day.

I'm aware that I'm in this system or this network. It's just so hypocritical when I hear like LeBron talk about slavery that happened in our country over a hundred years ago while he's dripping in Nike. How dumb can you be to pretend to care about slavery while you're making, what, a billion or something from Nike over the- Don't you think that if you're a person that is in mainstream world acceptance, whether a sports star or any kind of media personality, there's certain things you feel obligated to call out and to talk about? I would think so. Some people do so I only know how I would behave and I like I just think there's honest money and then there's dishonest money

And I've never had the stomach feeling like the money they paid the people to endorse Kamahara Dishonest money right there Beyonce even Legal fools did you know that was even like it shouldn't be legal The Vogue, the View keeps yammering about how Elon Musk shouldn't be allowed. Or, you know, I saw a video yesterday about you. Oh, the Joe Rogans of the world are influencing, like. Oh, that's that feminist guy? Yeah, and like they're so mad.

He tried to say that there's this multi-billion dollar right-wing ecosystem that's been developed just like a terrorist network that radicalizes young people like what by talking to scientists? By telling them to be good guys? To tell them to be honorable to their partner? Radicalizes! That's not radical. Radicalizes. Also, let me ask you, on air for this podcast, how much money did Donald Trump give you to

endorse him? A hundred million dollars. No, he didn't. He gave me nothing. He gave you zero, Joe. podcast how much money did Donald Trump give you to endorse him a hundred million dollars no he gave me nothing gave you zero Joe nothing he gave you zero because you thought I think that this is what's best for the country given the two options I know I knew the resistance that I would face but I think Beyonce get she had ten million dollars ten million hold on she talked for like three minutes that's good what do you mean? That's good. I mean, that's enough. That's too much.

No, no, it's plenty. It's perfect. Ten million. It's a good deal to taxpayers money. I mean, it's a good deal. All these people that are like donating money to the Democratic Party and they're it went to Beyonce. You're the crazy thing. Mutants. They're 20 million dollars. They spend a billion dollars.

They're 20 million dollars in debt. And Trump offered to pay their debt He's like we have a lot of money left over because most of our media was too good earned media I had to look it up. So earned media is essentially whenever he's in the news Yeah, or when he's getting interviewed on shows or on podcast. Yeah, that's earned media. That's what he did Well, I just love people go. Why are you getting so passionate about this Jeff? It's like it's right in front of your eyes, right you you have to pay someone 10 million to endorse a But then like B is doing it for free because they believe in that like idea which one seems more nefarious M&M took 1.8 1.8

How do we know that's true because I said it? 1.8. How do we know that's true? Because I said it. I have not found any evidence that supports this stuff. I think it's all legit. Some of them being asked and said I was not paid. But wait a minute, Oprah was paid, there was an FEC thing. Her company was paid to host an event. Okay, they paid her company a million dollars, dude. I'm just saying that's right. I don't know what happened and where they hosted it and right involved of just she was not made her company was dollars What what did she do that hosted an event? Did she put together an event like cater an event campaign finding out trip on the screen show that they paid Harpo productions for event production It was paid for posts to live stream an event

Uh-huh, which I don't know how much that production costs posts to live stream an event uh-huh which I don't know much that Production costs of a live stream event that could be money since she was not paid a personal fee for the event She said I was paid nothing right, but they she didn't donate her company to do this she She got paid for it. That's right. I don't know like so this is where I got it out So she got a gig is essentially what it is. You, a million dollar gig five million to Megan the stallion three million to Lizzo one point eight for Eminem That's in this article, but it doesn't show like where one million for Oprah that could be made up. Okay This is an Instagram list why didn't I make it up, but I? Wanted to okay. Yeah, no problem. I want it to be real. Yeah Well if it I I makes me believe in our earth better if they didn't if they just did it for free

It makes me believe in the earth better if they did it because I don't want to think that Eminem really believed that shit Yeah, exactly People that do this you went out there for 1.8 There's no federal records showing campaign payments to Eminem or Megan the stallion. So when it says mostly false, where did that rumor emanate from? Someone put it on Instagram and it goes around, people run wild with it because it sounds fun. Damn.

I thought it was fun. Yeah, it is fun. If I'm wrong, I'm willing to, you know, I read it and my blood boiled. I was like, what is going on? The Beyonce one is crazy. There's no evidence that it's true. It might be true doesn't mean it's not just no current Mostly false, but this is False is sketch. Well if it's not true, then it's not true But let me tell you if it is true. That's that legal crazy. Is that legal?

Was it is it legal to pay Beyonce 10 million dollars to talk at a political rally? Um, I don't think so. There's all these like little companies. They pay her that much that seems crazy They doesn't desperate times. Yeah, but she doesn't need the money She's not saying desperate times for the campaign trail and then they go I was gonna endorse her anyways I'll just do it for you know a little fee My time is worth money my private plane costs money. Can you cover that you know well it seems suspicious You know because when someone's got that kind of money to do something that people are gonna look down upon if they find out If it's true. Yeah, that's what makes me skeptical

Because like someone has that kind of money for her ten million dollars sounds crazy to say this But I believe that for Beyonce and Jay-Z ten million dollars is not noticeable so I gonna change their life at all no change your life but but you still notice like if they're billionaires dude they are Beyonce's got almost a billion dollars yeah I think he has a billion as well I don't think they're gonna notice so that's like not gonna change your lifestyle but it could get you out of your house to go do a thing that puts you in the news Does that what you want well think about the Super Bowl all those people that perform the Super Bowl halftime get paid zero dollars, right? But why do they do it mendis advertisement as they do it, but they perform she wasn't even performing. She's just talking I

Mean maybe maybe 10 million bucks to 10 million bucks You can't help it even if you got two billion dollars in the bank But part of me is like I would maybe I'm just looking at how I would look at it like I wouldn't do shit Yeah, well I always think and this may be my naivety to like rich people Is that like they don't have to be bought anymore because they're rich like you think that that's how I think about it Is that like I wouldn't do anything against it's easier to do things against my moral compass when I was broke You'd say Jeff will give you five hundred dollars go steal this thing, because I'd be like, I need $500. Whereas now I can be a little more generous with my money, I can be a little more ethical, because I'm in a place where I don't have to worry about the $500 isn't worth breaking

some ethical code for me. Right, but money isn't your existence. For some people, money is some score of how well they're doing in life. And they get addicted to numbers. They get addicted to this idea of constantly. Yeah. And they compare themselves to all the other people. This is from Fox News.

They have Washington Examiner reporting that money was spent in ways, I guess you could argue maybe. Well, they spent six figures building the set for Call Her Daddy. But that seems, people are saying that's outrageous, but that's not that outrageous. $100,000, you build a set, you have to lease a building, you have to bring in cameras and all that shit. I could see that being $100,000.

Campaign spent at least $15 million on event production, FEC Record Show, with many payments lining up with high-profile events and concerts with celebrity attendees or performers. And that's how you do it because it's a performance. Right. So you pay them for performing. So you can pay them to perform. That's the difference. That's the difference. The truth is just an epic disaster. This is a one billion dollar disaster. Lindy Lee, Harris Surrogate and DNC National Finance Committee member told Fox and Friends Weekend on Saturday. So they did, they just definitely spent a lot of money. Harris campaign cut multiple six figure paychecks in September for left leaning groups that

have been vocal about defunding the police, reparations that are tied to radical activists who have supported notorious anti-semi Lewis Farrakhan, Fox News digitally previously reported. That's wild so they cut checks to left-leaning groups so they spend money to get people to talk they give it to the groups the groups pay the performers and the people that speak well no well you also the groups like you're paying them to be vocal yeah like by saying I cut multiple six-figure checks like you're funding these people to go out and do these things the FEC camp Filing's also spent north of 56 million dollars on payroll and payroll taxes in just three months

Yeah, that's crazy that payroll is is your performers finally also show the campaign gave in excess of $100 million to various consulting and marketing firms, including Gambit Strategies LLC, DuPont Circle Strategies LLC, and Bully Pulpit Interactive LLC. That is so crazy. They gave those folks $100 million. Yeah, so like $1 million to M&M

could have been lost in there, but I'm just saying that you have to find it is you have to find the evidence to right well I think with a guy like Eminem to he doesn't like performing like he's you know he has agoraphobia Like he's like he doesn't like leaving the house Which is crazy. I saw him. He killed it. I saw him over here at the racetrack really played at coda Yeah, it was awesome It was like a hundred thousand people were there because it was I don't know what the real Number is I might have made that up

But a lot a lot of people because it was there people were there for formula one and they have this Enormous place like I saw the stones there and I think it was I mean how many people's coda seat I Mean it had to be 80,000 people's one of the biggest crowds I've ever seen was insane Once I saw Eminem there he was great But he performed so rarely. My buddy was at an F1 thing recently and like had one of the concerts that was performing afterwards or something or

maybe it was just F1. I don't know. Maybe there wasn't a concert. Whatever it was. Michael Jordan was just hanging out. Michael Jordan had a hat on, a hood on. He had like the things over his ears from the noise of the car. And my buddy's like, hey man, like I was, you know, and then Jordan took like a selfie with him them chatted him up for a few minutes I was like that's how popular it's getting yeah like you said the Eminem was performing at an F1 thing

Yeah, yeah, he performed that you know they had the race the races and then one night. He performed. That's crazy before I think he performed Sunday night or Saturday night. I saw just how post Malone there, too He was just there two weeks ago doing his country show. Yeah, he's doing like it's great Yeah, it's fucking all I love that dude. It posts the best. He's so much fun He's such a fun dude, too. Just fun to hang out with him to get to see him and give him a hug Other people hundred thousand so it was just in fucking insane huge crowd. He killed it too I love so but he doesn't like to do shows so to get him out there for a political event you gotta come with the cheddar. Yeah you better pay the guy. Especially if he doesn't do a lot of shows a year

1.8 will go a long way. Guy lives in Detroit. Pretty easy. Price of living there is not that not that steep. Yeah I think that you I also think that it's people care about money you know. Yeah, especially if you're a person who thinks about money all the time That's what I was saying about like I know rich dudes I know dudes who are billionaires who get uncomfortable with them when they're around hundred billionaires because they feel like losers That's why it's hilarious. My breaks my it's like when you showed me all the planets in a row and I was going Oh, like that's what you just did with money. Yeah Cuz there's always layers to it. Like I'm pretty wealthy, but I'm very poor compared to my friend Elon. Yeah, like I'm a pauper I'm like a dude living in a studio apartment compared to that guy. Like that's what it's like

I think there's like crazy levels to it. But also He works in a way. I am not willing to do he doesn't sleep That's one thing people don't talk about these really even Bill Gates whether you agree with him or not But also, he works in a way I am not willing to do. And he doesn't sleep. That's one thing people don't talk about these really. Even Bill Gates, whether you agree with him or not, the dude was willing to sleep like a fish, where he'd sleep for 15 minutes and wake up and program again. He worked really hard to become Bill Gates.

Oh yeah, there's no doubt. And without Microsoft, who knows where we'd be without the Windows operating system. Oh my god. It was fucking everywhere Yeah, it's everything. He's also cured like 500 things these like small like little Nonprofits will say well, there's this disease called this you go How much you need they go a million bucks we think maybe and then he just gives them a money and then they close they go What are we gonna work on now? We cured it, you know, yeah Well, that's what I've this is another one of these ones I got wrong yeah let's ask you just throw capitalism okay and philanthrop capitalism is

you're acting like a philanthropist but you're making a lot of money through this like he invested a lot of money in the mRNA vaccines and that's why he was promoting it he made like 500 million sure sure then after he dumped his stock he dumped his stock, he started talking shit about it. It wasn't really that good. The virus wasn't that dangerous. Like what? Yeah. Where was this guy? Well, but I'm saying like all these I don't know how they look up if he's cured any diseases or anything. I don't know how you'd look that up. Is there a way to look that up? They've invested in efforts to develop cures for those for diseases.

For sure. Including sickle cell HIV. But they didn't fix it. in efforts to develop cures for diseases. For sure. They've also invested in pharmaceutical. But they didn't fix it. No, no, the only one I know that's close, I think, is sickle cell, but I think they just pulled back to all those drugs. We would have heard about that if they cured sickle cell.

You know where sickle cell came from? I thought that he cured all these small ones. You know where sickle cell came from? No. It came from resistance to malaria. Really? Isn't that crazy? Yeah, the people that experience malaria that's

tracked down in their genes and they pass it on to their ancestors. That's where sickle, I had a buddy of mine who died from sickle cell. When I was a kid, a guy I used to do taekwondo with, a dude named Walter, was an awesomely talented guy. But like he would get like real sick, man. He just couldn't train, couldn't come in for months. Yeah, there was a new drug that came out this year, I think, that they thought was going

to be like ending it, but they had to quickly pull it off. Brought to you by Pfizer. Of course, died. They died from it. Anticipated number higher than an anticipated number of deaths reported in trials. Yeah, indicating the benefits of the drug no longer outweighed the risks. So it kills people quicker than sickle. I guess that's a solution of swords. There's been so many of those drugs You know 33 percent is that what it is 30 something percent of all drugs the FDA approves get pulled oh like whoopsies I we tried what's a matter you know you ever heard that book. I think it's called like 19 I don't know the name of the book it's named after a year

84 um I think it's not the George Orwell book. No not George Orwell. It's called... That would be ridiculous. Gosh. It's a... What's it about? I'm trying to look in my in my audible for this book. But the basically the premise is this guy cures cancer. Why don't you search and type in the number one nine? Maybe. But it might be called twenty twenty. Oh you don't remember? No, it's a...I listened to a lot of books. What's it called again? I'll find it. But the premise is this guy cures cancer and then at first everyone's great.

He becomes the richest guy in the world. Everyone's happy that he cured cancer. But then people start to resent him because they're like, you know, I should have already had my inheritance by now. This guy's playing God, keeping my parents alive longer than they should. It becomes like these ideas of like, no, he's wrong for doing this. He's affected society. Like there's no real estate being freed up as quick now. People should just die however they die naturally. And it's a fun little... Yeah, it's not obviously not real or nothing, but the... it was an interesting kind of way to look at things.

Well, that's a sociopath's way of looking at things. Imagine that, like what you're thinking is if someone dies I get their stuff, why don't they just die? It's disgusting. But I could see how groups would start to think that. You know, like that's how like like life is you maybe you do a good idea look at the Systems that we put in place like back in the day and now everyone looks like that was just their way to trap people in The project you're like at first was like a really nice idea like that

They wanted to give people that couldn't afford places in the city this But it's all been That's why how people react to that one dude is trying to live to be two thousand years old in that one guy It was gets like young guys blood injected in the oh, yeah, just do anything things It's like I seem so many people mad at him if everybody lived everybody lived 500 years the whole world would be overcrowded Yeah Like but even everyone's not trying to do it Yeah, also if I could give you a pill and you would be healthy

Just take this one pill. You'll be healthy 450 years. You're not gonna take it. Shut the fuck up It's called 2030 by Albert Brooks But it's interesting just kind of like yeah, cuz you start to do see how like over time people just Misconstrued things enough time goes by People are willing to do all sorts of mental gymnastics. I mean, that's how this whole gender-affirming care thing got through. Exactly. We would never let kids get tattoos.

We wouldn't let them get their dicks chopped off. Like, says who? Like, why? What, 30 years ago, if you said that we'd be debating or even having to have a conversation that's controversial about whether a guy can be a woman, they would laugh in the streets at us, you know? And now it's real. So, just like, that's kind of how the book does a really good job of describing, like, they would laugh in the streets at us. And now it's real. So that's kind of how the book does a really good job

of describing, they would just resent that guy after a while. They would hate him for carrying cancer. Some people would. There's always gonna be weak bitches in this world. And they exist, just like you're talking about your parents, I don't wanna be like that. That's what weak bitches are there for. Their weak behavior, jealous behavior behavior you learn from it you go

I feel like that with a ton of people in my life right now hell Yeah, they're gonna always that they're there. They're always gonna be there There's some people that just they're not gonna keep up, and you can't keep them in your life either You just can't you got to keep moving yeah some people are never gonna run out of problems And they're never gonna run out of friends to throw those problems out Yeah, I was telling you this early, but like like the day after the election like I like woke up I was with my buddies. Just sitting there, and I was about to open up my phone for the first time Since since Trump wins the election. I just took a deep breath. I was like

I'm gonna lose a lot of friends today a deep breath I was like I'm gonna lose a lot of friends today this about to boast some shit and like just like I was so you're not losing friends though you know I'm losing friends that weren't really your friends they were friends with conditions mm-hmm you know Ron White is a giant Kamala Harris supporter believe it or not Ron White always votes blue yes one of them low information voters like you start giving him facts he falls apart but don't fucking tell you that guy shouldn't be the fucking president. He's like, this is a good president.

But I love him to death, he's one of my best friends. I don't care. That's how things should work. That's how it's supposed to work. 100%. He has different political ideas, he has different ways of thinking about things. That's fine. It's broke my heart that a lot of people have treated me the way... Because I feel like

people were fine with conservative Jeff. They knew that I'm a Christian and that I'm that I lean, you know, right and especially now lean even more right and then But they didn't really draw a line until I became like supportive of Donald Trump Like that's when they drew a line and they go we don't want to talk to you I don't think I move and that broke my heart. I don't think I move right at all I stayed but the but the whole thing is move. That's what I'm saying That's I haven't changed many of my thoughts. It's just that it's gone I've what was a rep up what was a Democrat is now Republican

There's a few of my thoughts that I used to like be all in on the now I'm like hmm, and this is like just about like human psychology Like I was all in on universal basic income Which I think is gonna be necessary in the future because I think automation, and it's something Andrew Yang talked about when he was running for president, I think he's correct, that automation and AI is going to just consume so many, especially AI, it's going to consume so many jobs. There's going to be so many people that have to like rethink their life and figure it out. And I think if we don't compensate those people somehow or another, we're gonna have a real fucking

chaotic problem on our hands. Just to keep people happy and healthy, I think universal basic income might be the way to go. But I used to always think like, hey, maybe if we gave universal basic income to people, then they would still be ambitious, but they'd be ambitious in like pursuing their own career, developing their own business,

or taking that money and using it to be free. But now I think that human nature, if you give people, there's so many people that if you don't give them a difficult problem to solve, and if you provide them with all their needs, their food and their shelter, they just get lazy. 100%. Which is what you don't like.

Right, so there's two things going on simultaneously. One, we have to address the fact that there is no way to get around the fact that automation and AI is going to consume a lot of jobs. And I think universal basic income is probably the only solution for some of those people. But then there's also the psychology aspect of it. If you do tell people you never have to work again,

most people never have to work again. And they're going to regret it someday. One day they're going to look at all these people they admire, that have accomplished things, that live these fun, exciting lives, successful lives, and they'll get a fear of envy, and they're gonna feel despair, and they're gonna feel like they could have done something more with their life. But they got trapped. The siren song of comfort led them into the rocks. That's the devil, the comfort, 100%. Like all my friends, right? My friends, not all my friends, but during COVID,

they're like, what am I gonna do? And this is really stressful, and I don't have any, right? And then they got their government money, right? For being out of work. And you know what they did, Joe? They bought guitars and baseball cards. And it's like, I don't think you were as struggling as you thought you were. Well, they needed something to make it feel good. It's's like, I don't think you were as struggling as you thought you were.

Well, they needed something to make them feel good. It's never enough. So it's like, you've got to, like, if you give them, they'll say, well, this isn't basic, this basic income, it's not enough for me to really live. Because what is really living? So it's just always gonna be more. So it's like, it's flustering to try to solve that.

The hard work's the answer. Well, you're not going to feel happy with no purpose. And that is another thing that we found during COVID. One of the things like people were so at each other's throats at during COVID, it's because everyone was at home. They were all fucking bored. Drunk. And they were all freaking out and just like attacking people over every, wear a fucking mask. I know. Like everyone is out of their mind. I lost my mind. It's like attacking people over every where a fucking mask. I know like everybody's either mine

I lost my mind It's like most people did especially if you're seeing your life go away because you maybe you've worked 30 years to develop a business then all sudden some new thing comes along you have to shut your business down for a year and a Half that's not gonna work I don't have money right and you can't get a loan and like oh my god in the the lease payments for the building They keep coming in yep What am I gonna do and then you're on to it all small businesses that they claim they care about They crush so many fucking restaurants. Yeah, they almost crushed the Comedy Store

Oh, I haven't made money in six months And now a different group is gonna break the windows out of that place that I didn't even so all at the same time Yeah, that's enough to make people and people didn't even... So all at the same time? That's enough to make people... And people are saying, defund the police at the same time. You're like, oh, this is great. That's enough to change my political opinions, and it's enough for a psychopath to grab a gun and go, hey, maybe don't knock out the windows of my store.

It was just too much at once. If someone comes along from the left that is an objective, sensible person that's making sense of immigration, foreign policy, then I'm still left. I'm still the same person. Right. Yeah, me too. I'm still the same person.

Because socially, I'm left on almost everything. The hard right is, to me, just like the hard left. The crazy fucks that are out there on the fringes and they sort of define the left and define the right for everybody. Like you define the right by like white supremacists, KKK. You define the left by Antifa. Like Jesus Christ. Most people are like right here. Most people are like, I just want rules and law and everybody be kind and healthy and a prosperous society and no pollution and yeah I feel like we could all work together and do a better job of all these different things.

But like Jordan Peterson says who's like my favorite human in the world I love him so much but he was saying like it's really easy to identify and rebuke the far right like we're very good at identifying it and going I devout or disavow whatever the term is we get we don't want that yeah but then with the left the very extreme left we kind of celebrate it and we post it and we Brag about it, and we go look how good I am. I think they thought we finally we have thugs You know yeah, it's one of those things. I'm against the far left. It's the bullies It I am and the far right far right it's the bullies It's the bullies on both sides the people that just want to use a group and have a bunch of people

They're all together an attack. Yeah, and just go smash windows and light things on fire And then there's also they get funded to do that too Yeah, all this shit that you're seeing where the Harris the where they funded all these different organizations People fund through political through PAC PACs, through all sorts of different methods, fund all sorts of organizations. They donate to all sorts of organizations. Some of these organizations cause problems and they do it because they want them to do it. They want problems. Yeah. When you see stacks of bricks laying around, I'm not buying it. I'm not buying this. Someone left

$30,000 worth of bricks around around yep, I'm not buying it I'm not buying this someone left thirty thousand dollars where the bricks around they were just doing construction just conveniently happened At the same time the protest is here Everyone loves coincidences. They think it's all But it's just you know and that is another group thing You know about being a part of the group. If you're a part of a group that's yelling and lighting things on fire, you know how much fun that must be? Oh, yeah, for that, yeah, it's happening. Especially, you're doing it to support black people? Who doesn't want to support black people?

I'm the best, yeah, exactly. What, it's light up Starbucks. Yeah. You know, and Starbucks is like, what did I do? I didn't do anything. Yeah, at least when I supported my group, I didn't get a free Xbox. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's, I don't think you really care about what you believe in if you're getting lamps and shit And then in New York, they have the dumbest way of handling it. They just let people burn themselves out It's crazy that the Blasio was the worst

Not even his real name. No. Yeah, what's the Blasio's real name? It's some crazy like villain name his real name is Mookie Bet No, it's like a villain is these sounds like I like a villain What's his real name? It changes name to Warren Wilhelm Or build the but yeah, yeah, that's a fucking that's a evil name that is Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a fucking that's a evil name that is Yeah, Warren Wilhelm, Jr. I like to call myself Jeff dies Jeff die senior and people like oh is your son I don't know no no no but if I you know Just Jeff die senior if I ever kid it's my half Jeff, Jr. Yeah, I'm Jeff seen Jeff senior

Yeah, I'm just preparing for your Joe Rogan senior This is fucking so funny though the guy changed his name to make it ethnic. Oh, yeah Guy Gaba de goo yet the blousy knows how to take care of you eat the fries get a vaccine come on William Old man Wilhelm's kid No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no's from like Connecticut, and she's like how do you say orange orange? I'm from Spain Just made up a whole a like that's crazy Mentally crazy she must be sexually yeah amazing. I bet she's fine To pretend gal to pretend. She's a different name. That's why that lady that lady's fun 100% Um what was I just asking? Oh the the video where de Blasio had the performative dancers?

Oh, yeah, listen to this take it from the beginning so you can hear how fucking stupid. This is Look at this. They all have masks on outside. We need a recovery that brings back the life and the heart and the energy of this city Oh my god gets to be a part of it We're gonna do that. We're gonna really bring back the heart and soul New York City We need our arts and culture back and we need people to see it and feel it to participate in it to know Essence of New York City has not been defeated by the coronavirus peak will come back strong in 2021 Months after month in 2021 as you see the city come back to life I hope to leave the way culture is another step towards a recovery for our city

We're launching with 115 street locations in all five borders And it brings stages to our neighborhoods and culture to the heart of our neighbors I wonder how many of those 115 people in 115 neighborhoods shot at those? Although when I think of New York City, I do think of people spazzing out in masks like that I do think of them going like this like on drugs asking me for money. That's what I think of when I think of New York This is peak woke. This is absolute peak woke insanity stupid shitty out of rhythm dancing Terrible music while everybody's wearing masks outside And they spent money on this and this was his way of bringing the city back through culture

It's just so unlikable. It's peak woke. This is this I think this moment this video This is the historians will look back at this like this is oh, yeah This is when they clearly lost their fucking money the biggest metropolitan city on earth the one right if you can make it there You can make it anywhere that retard is the mayor and this is what he's doing with the taxpayer money Wally's got the whole city shut down yep And he wanted to defund the police they won't believe that people riot and smash windows and steal things we need to bring our culture back Yeah, you need to leave the job. You're terrible at this people are gonna. Oh you believe that that wasn't real You're gonna look at it right? Yeah, yeah, they're gonna go come on

He woke insanity if that's that's different at any other time in history Yeah, if that was in 1990 and the mayor of New York had people dancing with masks on in the street everybody like What the fuck yeah, someone bully them immediately yeah like what is happening yes your fucking mind but they that was when everybody was so confused and so mentally ill I think as a society we mentally had a cold we're all no one felt healthy the whole country was mentally ill yeah legitimately I guess that's how they that's it yeah that's peak well you know what they'll say Joe they go that was 2020 dude cuz they'll dismiss it as crazy like oh that's different 2020 he's gonna bring up 2020 again that's 40 months ago right exactly where's the apologies what's the big

deal where's the hey we were hey know, maybe we were wrong about that. When are you ever gonna hear that? Not only do they not admit that they were wrong, but now they're the victims. Yeah, you know Everybody else is spreading misinformation and we have to censor online speeches How what about you guys? Yeah, you got us into the Iraq war with right information you cunts I've been wrong all the time and I just go yeah, oh, I'm sorry I didn't I've been wrong on this fucking podcast right now, but like the left will just go no, that's different like I'm like just can you just at least say we're sorry for calling you a Super spreading jerk because you wanted to leave your house to get coffee. Can I get one?

Yeah, they were wrong about everything and they gaslit the whole fucking world And they got away with it and they got away with it and they almost got away with Demonizing their political opponent and putting him in jail. They almost got him in jail. Oh my god real close Yeah, that's so scary convicted him 34 felonies for things that aren't even felonies Well, and also people can't even tell you what those felonies are they just it's more fun It's more to fund to call someone a felon. Yeah, well, that's't even felonies. And also people can't even tell you what those felonies are. They just, it's more fun. It's more fun to call someone a felon. Yeah, well that's why you got convicted in the first place. It was all political.

It was like name calling. The whole world just lost its mind in four years. In four years everybody just, it was like, there was so many contributing factors. So the hatred of Trump, and then there was the coronavirus, the chaos, and then the racism, the sexism. Yeah, the George Floyd thing, and then Biden seems to be dead, and he's still running the country. Like, what's happening? I know. And then, you know, and then now, finally, when Trump won, it was like the first time in a long time.

I was like, yeah, maybe we're going to be okay. Well, you see the stuff that he's saying. I love it. I'm very optimistic about it. Yeah. This is like what most logical sensible people have been saying well, I'd also like like the the double standard is just really fascinating to me is like like What's the BOSA guy from the 49ers?

He comes in like while they're interviewing the guys that were the stars of the game He runs up and puts his MAGA hat on and then he like leaves and everyone's like well He's gonna have to be fined for that like you can't make political statements I'm like I don't know if you remember that BLM that was like on the field like all their helmets That's not a political statement. Pretty political. Yeah, it's a cultural statement more than it's a politician you're supporting. There's a big difference between like someone you're supporting. You don't find that political. Stop don't shoot isn't political.

You don't find that political to stop don't shoot is it political It's not political in a sense where someone's running for office So there's difference between like you're promoting someone running for office while it's on television And they don't want you doing that on television the other thing is like you're taking a cultural stand It's a different thing. It's got political aspects to it. It's a little nature. It's supported Primarily by the left, right? Okay, but it's not the same as not vote for so-and-so, okay, right But if you were if he had a vote for Harris had on a bit right give a fuck I don't know if yeah, but that is the interesting like I remember seeing that going

we're gonna have to find all those other players who wore defund the police on their things and You know little different. It's different. It's's a social issue but I think the point's the same it's like these guys are you it's also it's like how many of these fucking dudes who do this stuff just do it because they know they're gonna get social media cred oh yeah that's tough to figure out too yeah there's a lot of that in the world today like when people know that you can say certain things get a it's hard to know what you really think right? I've gotten accused of pandering right there like oh, he's pandering to the right or whatever

Yeah, no finesse Mitchell goes you go to a political lately to me, and I was like we're just saying what I think Also like what I thought he's like two is like when I was in Seattle You know and I was like making jokes like nobody goes wow you're really leaning into this left stuff You know like like when comics are going up and talking about all the things they talk about I don't go I'll try to make that Obama money, huh? Like I like no they just are saying what they think Yeah Nobody ever accused of people of pandering until you do it like on the conservative side well then they think you're pandering people do

Like then they catch people pandering though if you can catch them, but how do you know? Well, they like to accuse people pandering if they disagree with what that person says Yeah, bingo and our community like as far as stand-up convenience has been very left-leaning Always I've never once gone all your pandering to fit in here or your pandering to get on the tonight show Are you pandering to get on Jimmy Kimmel definitely do though for sure? But I never accused him of that because how am I supposed to know if they really feel like that way or not right? But then I say something I really don't care as long as it's funny Right if you're panning, but it's really hilarious

But the problem with me what I really get grossed out by is claptor. Oh, yeah I'm guilty of it sometimes lately for sure just in certain scenarios. I've done it. Yeah, people just Say things that people gonna clap and agree to Line like hey you missed a whole part of this whole formula where people just only want to say things that people are gonna clap and agree to. It's a punchline like, hey, you missed a whole part of this whole formula we're all participating in here. This is a comedy club. We're coming here for funsies.

100%. Yeah, and I think also too, it's like, that's why it's really rough to accuse someone of it. Because you don't know, like what is the difference between pandering and just playing to a crowd? You go, oh, Joe, you gotta read the crowd. Well, what's the difference between pandering and just playing to a crowd? Mm-hmm. Oh Joe you got to read the crowd, right?

Well, what's the difference between pandering and reading the crowd? Yeah, I guess reading a crowd is pandering So then I guess yes in a way. I'm a guilty of it, but we all are yeah, I guess I've never been one for eating a crowd. I was like you just do your thing. Let's find out I like that. Let's find out how much this stuff works in Madison, Wisconsin. They go did or no I was in Milwaukee Wisconsin somewhere in Wisconsin the people after the show that I bet you don't do that material in LA I go damn sure I do yeah, yeah, I do this material in LA for sure Yeah, people have this bizarre idea that you change your act depending upon who's in the crowd right? Yeah, you know how hard it is to come up with all this stuff

Yeah, I feel like fucking six months to come up with 20 minutes. It's hard. One new joke needs to be blossomed into a thing. It needs to be watered. But I will say, like, I'll change, you know, read a crowd like if it's a corporate event, I'm going to do different material. I'll do different words of the same bits and things if I have to like I have to adjust, you know. Yeah. Oh, that's a different gig, though, right? Yeah. The corporate gig is just I'm only like hiking up my skirt stick my ass up Dude, that's all it is

That's the real luxury of being a successful like as successful as you know a lot of you comedians are you don't have to do that You don't have to do the corporate gig I don't have to but I still get offered it and I say yes, and I'm going to Stuff yeah, Ron White did one. He goes, I did it because they offered me a fuckload of money and it was the worst experience I ever had in my fucking life. It's stressful. I go, why'd you do it?

You shouldn't have done it. He goes, it was fucking terrible. Yeah, stressful. It also is kind of exciting, though. I kind of crave those moments where I'm nervous again. Like in February when I came and did the mothership for the first time, I was like, oh, this is exciting behind the curtain, I'm a little nervous. I'm a little nervous to go out there. You're up in the balcony

Why I'm going I'm a little like I like this like the first time I did the tonight show I had all these like Butterflies like that was X. I like I live for those kind of moments. So like You know, sometimes I'll take a corporate. I'm going to do a lot of pretty nervous. I'd love to yeah That's I'd love to that I did that because it made me nervous. I said no to it at first really yeah I was like it's done one shot. Yeah, but then I thought why being a pussy then I called my manager back I said don't say no yet. Let me call you tomorrow. I called it love the next day. I'm like alright. We're good I love it. I think that's the future well It's definitely you prepare for it more and you think about it in a different way than a regular show

Like I prepared so much more than I ever do normally We didn't have to sit around Approving edits from people at a big corporation with a bunch of laptops who aren't creative who go maybe this bit You go, I'm the comedian. Why are you editing that and so like I had live ones the future I had to do that once with a Comedy Central. I had a Comedy Central deal to do a special and I bailed on it Oh, really? Yeah, just after the phone call Yeah, can't do yeah, so it's like you can't say that. I'm like why not We're talking about do you guys want funny or not funny?

Cable they've changed their standards though and then like by 2014 I got away with a lot I got away with a lot when I did a Comedy Central special in 2014, But they now, I don't even know what they make anymore other than South Park. Comedy Central? I mean, do they even have South Park anymore? I'm not sure if they're making new episodes, but they have that, they play a lot of reruns of things, and then they also have all those daily shows and all that stuff that was good for them. Okay, daily show, of course. But like, they used to have so many shows. I know. I just don't think TV can compete with internet anymore

No, and they had an app too. I know comedy central had an app for a while I don't know if they still have that running they still have a comedy central app you want to hear a good story about That makes sense, and that's where the new South Park episodes are right. What's that comedians name that? Joe list just made a documentary about that comedian's name that Joe List just made a documentary about. Gosh, he's a great guy from Boston. He now lives in the Keys of Florida. He's a Boston comic, kind of a legend. Tom Dustin.

Tom Dustin. Yeah, there's a great Tom Dustin story in Boston where the women that ran Comedy Central were like in the crowd. And it's like a showcase thing. And the owner's like, just keep it clean. This is the other thing. And Tom Dustin is already kind of a controversial guy as far as like the Booker was like, you know You know our reputation here and we're letting you do this because we want to help you but like play ball so Tom Dustin goes out there and he's struggling a bit and then he Just in the middle of said he just decides I don't want to do this

You know, like I don't want to jump through these hoops So he goes I heard Comedy Central's here and everyone claps and he goes how many fat Bearded unfunny fucks are you gonna put on the network this year? Everyone's like mortified and then he's like like he like They're lighting him get off the stage get off the stage and then he wraps his. And then he wraps, he's like, that's it, and then he comes back and he goes, oh, I forgot, you're all a bunch of N-word cunts. Whoa! Yeah, just says that to the audience. And like, because he just wanted to stick it to

the comedy club and the people that think, yeah, Tom Dustin, yeah, he's a legend, dude. Yeah. Great fucking funny guy. Must have missed him. Yeah Great fucking funny guy Must have missed him He's a you know he's grinding. He's grinding it out one of those Boston boys and where does he live now now? He lives in that he started a comedy club in Key West. What's it called? There is a comedy club in Key West that a lot of people go down to it's supposed to be a fun game Doug does it all just Stan Hope does it I know the Swartz and I don't know Swartz has done it But I know Swartz was down there when I was down

So he just works his own club. Yeah, just made his own started his own club. It's happy Pretty cool You guys did it in different ways Joe Joe list oh yeah there you go Sam talent Hell yeah, it's great be fun to do a gig down there just for funsies. Yeah that help him out a lot, too It's a fun area those people are wild people I mean that's been a wild place for a long ass time very uncharted territory. Yeah, like you know nomads Fucking it's pretty cool. I like it there. Yeah, and you can't just fly into the keys

I mean I mean if you can I didn't know that you could because I had to drive Dave Williamson drove me for like three hours Like we like how long have we been in the keys? He's like the gigs up here. Don't worry. Go by cruise ship. That's well Actually, yeah Have you done cruises been on? No, yeah, not me dude not into it. Yeah, no Well, you know, it's funny about the cruise ships while we're talking about like corporate corruption. It's international waters So like the casino you kill you well the casino you like this kind of is This kind of feels unfair and they're like, but who you gonna complain to no one. There's no pit boss

Yeah, it goes. Don't worry. This is all sanctioned by the... They get you drunk and steal your money. Oh, and the games are rigged. They just steal it. You go, I would like to talk to the casino commission. They go, shut up, you're in the middle of the ocean. And you talk to the guy that works there. You're like, hey buddy, how much you make? And they're like, I make like a dollar a week.

Or you know, like it's some crazy thing. You go, they're just allowed to do that? They give them free food and a bed. Yeah, and the guy is more than where I look you know how about those folks that like live on cruise ships do those certain folks they gave up their house and they just live on a cruise ship all year round I will say and I promise I'm not trying to be contrarian here because I love Tim Dillon I love like all these guys who will shit on cruise ships and they're

right every bit of criticism that my favorite people in my life criticize about cruise ships the other side of that coin is some people just want to eat shit and look at things. They want to be fit. There are some people. It's nice for my dad. You know, like he's he's happy to just go, okay, what are they playing? Rush hour two or like it's okay. Those people are enjoying it. Sure. It's a vacation. And you wear with a whole bunch of people sunburned all sitting around you got water slides Yeah, and fucking all kinds of shit to do and yeah, yeah, it's fine for them. I get it. Yeah, it's not my brain, right? I don't want to do it. I don't think up that way nightmare for me Yeah, but then every three days you get to waddle your fat ass off the boat and see you know

Puerto Rico for three hours, and then you get back on the boat some people that's that's a pretty cool deal some people some people yeah yeah I don't want to perform on those things well how many times have you done it oh I've only been on a cruise ship like probably three times and I got like some special deal where are you doing stand up or were you I got to stand up yeah Joe what a thing Oh, Joe. What a thing. Ooh. One of the other comics, Tom Cotter goes, don't be here, dude. I know Tom Cotter. Yeah, Tom's awesome.

He was the other comic on the boat. He saw that I was doing it. He goes, dude, you don't want to be on here. He's like, go, you got the rest of your life to be on a cruise ship, like if this is where you want to end up. And he was speaking to the comedy aspect of it. Yeah. It was just pretty-

That's a dark statement. Depressing. Yeah. Because Tom's my age. Tom's awesome. I've known Tom since we were open micers. Really? Yeah. The first time I ever went to an open mic night, I saw Tom on stage. Really?

Yeah. I just found out that Greg Fitzsimmons was a Boston guy. He started a week after me. Really? Yeah, we both started together. Do you consider yourself a Boston guy? Yeah. That's where I started. Nice.

Yeah. I think you develop a kind of sense of comedy and of urgency and like the audience's attention span and like the comics from Boston have, you know, at least back in that day, they had a sharp material. They're like, there were too many good comics. It was also like a real, it was a real pressure cooker because you had these guys that were these national level comics that could have been some of the best comics in the country, but they never left Boston. And so you're always working with these guys, these Steve Sweeney, Don Gavin, Kevin Knox, Lenny Clark,

they were monsters. Yeah, Lenny would have been pissed if you didn't say him right there. Oh, he was a monster. He was the first guy, well the second guy, actually I ever get paid to open for. Really? Yeah, one of the first guys.

Yeah, those guys are rock stars, and then they stayed put, and so you guys have to compete with the rock stars. Exactly, so Lenny got out, and he did a lot of TV shows and a bunch of stuff, but a lot of those guys, they stayed put, and they were still, like Steve Sweeney, he's to this day, one of the greatest killers on stage

I've ever seen in my life. They got destroyed back in the day. I mean, destroyed. And Boston did a dirty thing. They did a dirty thing. The dirty thing was, say if you're a famous comedian and you're coming to play Nick's comedy style for the weekend, like Billy Crystal, they would put on Don Gavin,

Oh, just Barry. Kevin Knox, Steve Sweeney, Oh, it was hell, Mike Donovan? I like that and they would just eat shit Don't earn it and they would love that these guys would eat shit I like that they bring in a heavily pay him all this money to go perform at this club This is a club by the way that would pay you in coke or cash. Oh, yeah, that's old days. Yeah, right there I've only read about that which makes me so happy like you want coke money or just coke or just money back in the day There was a club that used to do that. I like that and I think probably more than one

Oh for sure. I mean these were partying people. I would hear about that all the time You know how they all got hit up though. What do you mean? Oh, yeah, you're getting paid cash. Well, uh, Remember opening for Greg Geraldo as like the club that I started at like we were He just used to the open micers as free openers and like and also like pick up the comedian at the airport and we wanted to Pick up Greg Giraldo and Chris Porter all these guys we were excited to pick up the comics from the airport But that was his way of not having to pay a car service to pick up the comics from the airport The club owner joy and then but they need to also be like you guys are all gonna do short sets in front of the headliner Which we're excited to do but that also means he doesn't have to pay us to open so he doesn't have to pay for a

Middle-aged host so it's a little trick But we were happy to be part of the trick because we just wanted stage time or you get to hang out with Greg Geraldo how it's like you're being an intern. Yeah, it felt like that. Yeah, and I was happy with the trade You know that stage time is valuable, but in it got to meet all like my heroes You know that came through and I remember Greg Giroldo, you know He's taught he's he's clean now. He's trying to be an honorable Husband and he's you know, he's got the fix and he would just be like, you know, Jeff if this was back in the day We would been knee-deep in coke and I'm like, let's do that now

Why do I miss it, you know, like I'm reading about all these tales. It's unsustainable Yeah, the only guy has been able to sustain partying for an entire career Stan Hope Yeah, well, or they die. Well Dangerfield was doing it till the end. He did it to the end He was smoking pot doing lines to the very end. Yeah, he was committed. Oh come on. Yeah Well, this is comedy. How great is the notes in the green room? You saw me browsing those last night. I was pretty into that Yeah, how'd you get them? His wife his wife gave him to us really yeah? Whitney knows his wife and when she found out we were opening up the club I Love that I love stuff like that

I want to do something like what he did where he had Rodney Dangerfield and friends where he did those HBO shows Oh, yeah, where you introduce your guy old to like some of the best comics I want to do something like that you'd help a lot of guys let me tell you because Doing that like from the mothership would be fucking amazing that helped a lot of guys I think there's guys out there that that could use it to there's guys out there that have like 10 minutes of murder And then put those 10 minutes of murder together And you know I have four or five guys on a show If you have some fun would you be able to commit to picking the guys you like as opposed to the guys that Netflix wants you to plug?

No, if I was gonna do Joe Rogan and friends It would have to be people that I really think I love that whether I know them or not I love that I really admire and that's what What he did what Rodney did was different than anybody else other than Carson who wasn't really a comedian, right? So Johnny Carson was the way that everybody got famous. You got on The Tonight Show. You're the new Carson, by the way. And you get to sit.

Oh, thank you. I believe that. And you get to sit next to Carson like, holy shit, I'm sitting next to Carson. He likes you so much. You made it. You were headlining in comedy clubs after that. And traveling around the country. You know, these guys like Rich Jenny did like dozens of.

Yeah. Rich Jenny was great. Amazing. A very unhappy man But like a talented man super depressed yeah But then you had Rodney and what Rondi did is he introduced people to the HBO? Special comedians so these weren't comedians like tonight show clean comedians These were guys like Robert shiml dice clay Bill Hicks Sam kinnison Dom Irera Killers Lenny Clark killers killers. Yeah, and like headliners already like and then they all got HBO specials

So then they they all became like national talent and like people that would see them everywhere But it all came out of Rodney because Rodney had this desire to introduce these comics to the rest of the world Well, nobody else was doing that. And I love that. That's how you help people. Is by going, hey, I know this guy isn't famous, he doesn't have a sitcom. But I, right, I'm funny. Here's the guy that I think is funny. I also think, I think our Rodney Dangerfield is David Tell. Joke, joke, joke, joke, just crushing killer.

I think our Larry the Cable guy is Theo Vaughn. Like, you know, like it's got the voice in things and that you don't know what is a story and what is a joke right you know our Eddie Murphy's Kevin Hart you can cut you know our normie is our Norm MacDonald is kind of a mark normand like with you have these kind of next guys sort of I think they're all their own thing they are their own thing yeah I mean I don't really think it's our this or other I don't think about it that way. Well, you don't think styles influence people. Yeah, they definitely do for sure Sure, I think you know, like if you listen to Stephen right then you listen to Mitch Hedberg. Yeah, and that's great Yeah, that's that beautiful absurdist non-seculars. Yeah

I'm very inspired by Norman Patrice and Simpson's like if you watch my act you can go I can I know all the things this guy by Norman Patrice and Simpsons. If you watch my act, you can go, I know all the things this guy watched. But I think it tells his own thing. Like it tells, I think he's one of the greatest of all time. I really do. Oh, I think so too. I saw him at the mothership one night.

I came in just to watch the set. It was amazing. Machine gun Joe. And he's so in the groove. He's just this zen master on stage. Every beat is perfect. He's a master. I love him. He's just this Zen master stage every Every beat is perfect. He's a master. I love him. He's so good He's so good at just talking shit to when he has everybody come on stage with him He gives everybody a microphone that just starts shit. Yeah, he's the best

Yeah, he also like has still like He's still maintained people like when you don't change, you know,. If you're a fat celebrity, you better stay fat. We don't want to see you skinny. If you're a skinny person and you get fat, they go, what happened? That's why child stars are doomed, because they're going to have to change. I liked him when he was a cute kid. But I think the same thing is true with Atel. He still looks like he's broke yeah you look at a tell

you like that guy is he all right? He dresses the same way every time you see him even on his specials wearing a it could be 80 degrees outside he's got a jacket on, baseball hat, baseball hat, he's bizarre. I love that and I love that like you're like is he okay? like that's one of the best comedians in the world he's crushing it yeah but he's really in his own little world like he really does still read newspapers And he writes jokes in a coffee shop and his flip phone. Yeah, text you do from a flip phone Every time I get a text from him I appreciate it because I know how long it took to make These fucking things take forever, and he was in here in the studio. He was sitting there He had a text. Oh, he's going to do Yeah, you're like my dad

That's why but he's right right if you don't want to be connected to that world You don't want to be influenced in just stay in the zone and who's better at staying in the zone than him nobody Yeah, who's better at coming up with new material nobody? Yeah, he's awesome He so he's just like found this area to exist in. Yeah, I'm good. Yeah, I'm good I love it. I think he's one of the greats So I we agree that he's one of the greats. I had a couple of friends. This is a long time We like we just went to a theater show. We saw this comic. He wasn't very funny. They love to do that I saw the special it sucked, you know

Like they love to shit on it better than just going enjoyed it And so I go who'd you see and they go I can't his name, but we'll text you if we can remember or whatever. And I was like, okay, these are my good friends of mine. And so then later on they're like, oh, it was Dave Attell. And I go, oh, you were wrong. You are just wrong. And they're like, no, it was really bad. I go, wrong, you're wrong. There's just no way that that is,

and I think that that's the disconnect of maybe a theater show or like a Netflix special. Were you talking to your friends? Were you looking at your phone? They wanted some crowd work or something. I don't know what they expected but I was like you're wrong like that's one of the greatest. Yeah. I think sometimes if a venue is too big you know and the person's all smile like maybe that's it there's a disconnect there. Maybe. But I don't know but there's usually screens. Yeah. It's people have shitty tastes Yeah, I couldn't believe it. Yeah, I've heard things like that before about other comedians I think are awesome like shut up when also the stadiums laughing and going this guy's the best and then my

cheap jokes right you mean my favorite kind Exactly a cheap joke that makes me laugh is fun. Did it work? Yeah, it should laugh. I'm not, yeah, I'm not necessarily a connoisseur. I'm just here to have a good time. Well, I do think that's a good thing too about taste. I think it was in Dave Grohl's book.

He was like, I'll drink shitty coffee from a gas station, but I also appreciate a nice espresso. I think that's a good way to like think about even like jokes. Yeah. I'll take a one line or a cheap joke. I'll take a story, a misdirection. I'll take anything. Just let me make me laugh. Yeah. I like the good stuff and the bad stuff. Yeah. But the thing that's hard for comics is to maintain an audience

enthusiasm, right? Like to watch comedy like and appreciate it like you used to before you were a comic. Because you know the tricks and this it like you used to before you were a comic. Because you know the tricks, and it's one way to, like, when you see someone doing hacky stuff, you're like, yuck. But just fun. Just have a good time. Don't start breaking down someone's bids or critics. Like, you see comics, they can't laugh. They're watching things, and everything is like,

hmm, I don't know, I don't think I've got a little extra time to get to this joke. Could have edited that out a little bit. He started like You know too much right you know I did that early I'd police guys right like when I was like a Passionate obsessed with comedy open mic er. I would be like you know so-and-so has a bit about that subject And it's like yeah, like we're all talking about the same subjects You know but I would be the guy that would be Like well you shouldn't do that cuz Daniel Tosh has a thing you know like But it was all bullshit. It was just me being so passionate about it that I was over doing

You're probably applying those standards to yourself too. Yeah, well for sure yeah, so that's part of it You see someone who's like come on man. You know that fucking Gilbert Godfrey dead a bit about that Yeah, but like also just you don't want to overthink it I think you're 100% right. Like have fun with the crowd, be out there. Yeah, and just be able to enjoy different kinds of comedy too. And just some people just can't. And there's so many people, particularly left-wing comics,

like the comedy has to line up with their ideology or they just won't get into it. They can't. I hate it. I used to see that with Dice Clay. That was the big one. And we were talking about this last night, because I came in as a Dice Clay fan when I was a kid.

And by the time Dice had gotten kicked off of MTV, and it was in fashion for comedians to call him a sexist and a pig, and this guy, it's a character. Yeah, what are you talking about? Also, it's like, shut the fuck up. And then there was like so much jealousy, there was a little jealousy about him too,

because he was the first comic that ever sold out arenas. So he was selling out arenas when everybody else was like struggling to like fill a weekend at a little comedy club, like what? And these guys all started with him, and he was one of those guys that got on Ronnie Dangerfield's special and just took off. And then did his own special I think it was just I think it was called Dice Rules and that special took off and then dude he was everywhere

and it wasn't it was different than any other kind of comedy because everybody knew the nursery rhymes and they wanted to say it with them. The hits. So it was like going to a concert. Yeah. You know what's in the bowl bitch? Which different if anyone was to criticize you know like I know a lot of the old dogs in Boston Would be like these guys aren't doing anything different, but right that's different. Yeah, so you get something that's different That's working, and then people will kind of get mad They were like you claimed you wanted something different, and it's working. It's working And it's different just because you do a different thing, like if you're an observational comic,

it's because you do a different thing. Doesn't mean that that thing that all these tens of thousands of people are screaming and cheering for is wrong. Right. 100%. That's a crazy way of looking at it. I'll give you a great example. I was at Skankfest this year in Vegas, which, what a treat.

And so grateful to them for having me, so I don't ever want to make it sound like I'm not grateful. But I went and watched Carrot Top, Scott Thompson, right? I went over to the Luxor, I watched the show, and then I come back to Skankfest and I was like, oh, we were at Carrot Top, you know, and people were like, Carrot Top? I was like, he's better than all of us, just so you know. He's funny. It's great, Joe. 90 minutes of not missing.

It was relevant as far as he was doing topical things. He had a P. Diddy joke that happened the night before I saw him. He had all the, it wasn't all props. There was a lot of topicals, tons of Trump stuff, political stuff. There was like three, maybe a one minute segment, where I was like, um, you know, because I was going in with an open mind, like if it's gonna be shit, I'll say it's shit, and if it's great, I'll say it's great, you know? And there was like a one little chunk that I was like, that's a little hacky,

and it's like, you know, a Vegas Luxor joke about like, oh, they made it a pyramid, because if you try to jump out the window, you'll just end back up at the casino. I was like, that's kind of a, I've heard that kind of thing. But then I started thinking about it. I was like, no, he probably wrote that. He's been doing this for 29 years. Sometimes you'll watch prior, and it'll be like, black woman, like this, white, and you go, that's hacky.

No, he did it first. And so in my mind, I was like, 90 minutes of not missing, and he's the nicest guy in the world. Yeah, and he's crushing it It's a great great great show Well, he was a guy that in the early days when he was taking off every jealous shit on yeah Everyone shit on including Hicks Hicks had a whole bit about carrot top which sucks cuz he's so good It was just a jealousy thing It was a shitting on the guy who was doing this thing that you think is somehow another coloring outside the lines.

Which is crazy to me. Didn't make any sense. And then he also kind of was alienated from everybody because then he did a residency in Vegas. He was like one of the first big guys to just do it. He's been in Vegas forever. 29 years. That's so crazy.

That's a long time. And that means it must be pretty good. Like it was- He does well. Oh man, I want you to see it. He's a funny guy. Have you seen it? He's a really nice guy. I want you to... Oh you saw it. It's so good and I couldn't, he was, couldn't have been more humble and like it was just like such a nice guy and I said this to him. I wanted him to hear it that like, you know all the hate that my like comedy friends do is just

because it's become a thing. Yeah. It's not because it's real. So like I think this happens in life. Like people go, Henry Winkler, Jeff you worked with Henry Winkler, isn't he the nicest guy in the world? Yes, Henry Winkler is the nicest guy in the world. But, so are a lot of people. But we've learned Henry Winkler is the nicest. So we just repeat it.

You know, oh Taylor Swift only sings about her ex-boyfriends. Every musician sings about their exes. Why is that Taylor Swift's thing? Well, she's got a lot of them. But it's just something we've heard and we repeat as like a hacky thing. And I think that's the same with Keratop. It became hack. It became like a trend to make fun of him. But he didn't deserve it. That act is killer. Yeah, there's a lot of that. That's Trump as a Nazi. Right.

Yeah. It's not fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a lot of that. There's narratives. There's headlines, clickbait narratives that just get spread. I don't know. I hate it. It's easy to define people in a certain way. They'll say, oh, I see it in like small things. Oh, you know, you swallow 10 spiders a year. I go, no you don't. What are you sleeping outside with your mouth open? What are you talking about? Why are people repeating these things that aren't, oh, you know, you lose a million hairs a month you like no you don't Like where are these things being repeated or perpetuated?

Just like we were talking about how much Lizzo made Exactly, yeah, which I'm probably aware of that a little bit, but I think we got to the bottom of it Well, we probably are at least semi accurate. I just wonder who came up with that list in the first place well, but that's the difference between me saying something wrong on your podcast and Millions of people repeating a thing that they heard about carrot top, you know I'm saying like I just I don't understand how that becomes a Reputation and now this guy lives in some world where he goes everyone hates me and even family guys shitting on me I don't deserve this Well one of the things he said that after he came on my show he started getting a lot of love

No good. It was way different a lot of people That's great shows that had like yeah fans of my show and then wanted to come to him and yeah Yeah, it's like he turned a corner and he should have never had to do that I never met the guy right like I didn't meet him until I did a podcast with him Yeah, so for me it was like it was cool to just like, just have fun with him. Let him get out of that. Right. You know, you shouldn't have been in there.

When all these are comedians. Yeah, and he's a nice guy. He's not hurting anybody. He didn't do anything. He's the sweetheart of a guy. Right. I feel like what happened to more prop comics, why don't we see- They all went away because he's so successful, he defined prop comedy. He's like Weird Al. Yeah.

You don't see parody music anymore weird Al's goes I got 50 albums who's next you don't see anybody smashing watermelons The only one yeah, well I guess Bo Burnham does musical parody, but it's not the same sure he does it But he started on YouTube right yeah, that was like, but it isn't like he doesn't take a song You know how like weird I would take Michael Jackson's right so you knew the song and then you repeat Yeah, yeah, which is great. Yeah Loved weirdo But like you but prop com it's over it's it like puppet comics they went away you have Jeff Dunham and that's it

What was the guy? I know you'll know this Otto and George So funny my god, I used to work with a trillicose to do These prom shows at Dangerfield's so when I first moved to New York City Dangerfield's was one of the clubs that I worked at The most because it was like first of all I couldn't believe it was Rodney Dangerfield's Club And they actually filmed one of Dangerfield's specials there and like a fan of danger feel a huge fan and We do these prom shows the prom shows to start like 7 p.m. Or whatever it was and they would go on until 4 o'clock in the fucking morning And it was kids like from the Bronx and Staten Island

They'd come in on buses and limos, and they'd all be drunk and they would fill up these fucking little clubs with these kids and then just Want you to do the same material the next show so the kids leave so they never had the kids leave So they would tell you hey, you got to stop doing new material do the same material every time I'm like I'm not gonna say material. I'm not gonna bomb. Yeah. Yeah, I'm here to do my say You can't tell me what to do You've got me here for five sets if you got five if I look in that same drunk kid is in the front row Yeah, I'm gonna do a new set. Yeah, that's great. You know I have another ten minutes grow. Yeah

Yeah, I mean it was fucking ridiculous, but the shows would go on forever and ever and I did a bunch of them with Otto Oh, wow, I'm so jealous to hear that I do you think that the internet has a lot of Otto and George There's a like you can find stuff cuz that you had to See him live cuz you couldn't believe what the fuck he was saying. He was so wild Yeah, he would say the fucking craziest shit and then he would say to the the puppet I George what the fuck you said I'll say that talk like that. Yeah, which is great. You got it out, but it's your hand. That's the Yeah, it's so funny Dirtiest dozen 1988. I love it. I love it. This is on the internet Johnson's turtle wax three coats. I want to see the water jumping off of it.

That's right, I got a wooden cock. I'm circumcised with a pencil sharpener. At least I stay hard when I'm drunk. Laugh it off, you fucking hard-ons. George, please watch it. There are ladies here. There's ladies here? Blow jobs! Pro-team slurpees! Check it out! He's like a star to me. Who saw this movie? Eat, pee, goes down! Blow jobs! My girlfriend gave me skull last night. She did a good job. When she was done, my cock looked like a totem pole and her face looked like a glazed doughnut. My cock looked like a totem pole and her face looked like a glazed donut. I just love the idea. Like the premise is preposterous, but...

You had to see him live. If you saw him live and you were in the room with him, it was so fun. Oh, and that's really, like, I know everyone talks about blowjobs now, but like back at the time, that's pretty, like, edgy stuff. This is 88, right? So he was a kind of a wild dude, and you know unfortunately that kind of cost him a lot of substances Yeah, well off the rails little crazy We had a guy a couple of guys who these knuckleheads who lived in Seattle But we looked up to him because anyone that was you know any low is like an older brother or somebody in comedy was a Big deal to us, and they did a thing called a robot, and he had his own myspace page and everything it was just this terrible robot

It was a trash can that they just put a box head on and they had like two button like that It was on a race car kind of thing So it could only spin and the eyes would light up and then when you hit like a thing would make his mouth make a little Line of lights and that guy would just be in the back a comedian would be in the back reading his jokes off the notepad well robo here it is robo and the jokes were just so funny his head would fall off sometimes but he'd be like why do women wear makeup and perfume because they're ugly and they stink and then he would like spin around and then he would like spin around. Let me hear some of it.

I went to the bathroom to take a leak. I said, you need to get that fixed. I can't understand it. No, shit. Someone in there offered me some cocaine. I said, no thanks. I'm already wired. Get it?

Just terrible shit. But like, yeah, he would just be like, why do women get their periods? Because they deserve it. And then all you like spin around and people would leave I mean, it's an open mic. It was not like at least autumn George had like a sold-out This would be two guys just drunkenly having a good time with terrible jokes and putting it on the robot I've actually a really good so funny what's cool because you can get that robot to say things just like you get South Park to say Yeah, they're not real people. It's not me in the back with a microphone. It's the robot. Yeah, it's Cartman, right?

Oh, it's so fun. It's not even a human. It's a big round thing He said one time they got booked too like or actually like the first time someone tried to book them like hey Rob Oh, we would love to have you at our venue. It's like no it's robo Like it's not like that It might have been an automated thing or something But they thought it was so funny that someone tried to book them off of a video like that That's a little area. I love that kind of stuff though. Well somebody probably thought that was a real act Yeah, you could take it somewhere. I love it. You probably could have I mean someone could easily do that

Yeah, I mean how hard is it to do? It's so funny. Have you seen that comedian on Kill Tony? What is this gentleman's name that has he has some sort of a neurological condition where he can't talk. So he has a Bluetooth speaker. Oh yeah. He does his jokes. I haven't seen him on Kill Tony. He's at the QS Comedy Club in like two weeks. Oh, that's a lot.

There's Aaron Belisle. Aaron Belisle. He's a very nice guy. Funny too. Yeah, I know. I've seen this guy on AGT or something. Right, that's what it was. It was on America's Got Talent.

Yeah, I've seen him. I almost did a thing after him. I had to follow him somewhere. I can't remember it was But it was for like Louis J. Gunn was one of these shows where being mean is like, okay Yeah, it encouraged it was like it Louis J is like you got to tell your most fucked up joke first and then try to get out of the hole and in my Mind I'm like this sounds like a nightmare yeah but they tell us to do that yeah and every comic made the same mistake where we where we came out and went we try to get it you know we you know comics we try to play we try to get around the rules a little bit I was going he told us we had to say the most

fucked up joke first so we all did that kind of buffer so it just didn't work for any of us but that guy was before me and so I thought about just recording into my phone like a thing and acting like I'm him as like my first thing and I was like, this isn't gonna go over well. I'm just gonna. Yeah, no one's gonna be on your side. Right. But I was like, you get a little more brave.

That guy has incredible balls to do that. He can barely walk, can't move his arms well. Playing your hand. Yeah. He's playing his hand. He's playing his hand. He's been dealt that. incredible balls yeah barely walk you know can't move his arms well playing your hand yeah he's playing his hand and he's been dealt that yeah and he's making the fucking best of his headlining key was 100% yeah I love it that's a great example yeah yeah he didn't go all this is bullshit send me money do you have to piss so bad what's up I have to piss so bad all right should we wrap this up yeah let's do it Last cowboy. Yes last cowboy in LA comes out today

Out today right this comes out tomorrow. Where can people see it? Yeah Yes, so it comes out today when you're if you're hearing this it's on 800 pound gorilla is the name of the production company so like just go to YouTube so I should just search Jeff die Last cowboy in LA you can find it. Hopefully you can search it. Yeah Fuck your algorithm Some of the stuff I trump it. Yeah, hopefully you know fuck your Some of the stuff I trump interview. Oh, yeah, let's say can we watch this is that be all right? I mean technically hasn't premiered yet. I know but this is a little tra this little trailer. Can we watch the trailer? Is that all right? Yes watch the trail and we'll wrap this up everybody go see Rock bottom in Hollywood, California

That is a bad place for rock bottom because everyone is mean to you there in Hollywood everyone my entire career everybody in Hollywood's been like you're not even famous I've never heard of you you're not famous you're not even famous you're not famous I have never heard of you you're not famous you're not even famous right and then I have one bad day and it's like famous comedian crashes Where'd you film this? Nashville. Was this at Zany's? No, music venue. This is brave, what I'm doing right now. Hit him with the poetry! I like her, she likes naughty words. Probably not a smart subject to do on my first special, but you know, I just started cancer. Alright. Last cowboy. Last cowboy. Check it out.

Thanks for having me on, man. Appreciate you. My pleasure. Bye, everybody.