The Joe Rogan Experience - #2296 - Big Jay Oakerson

Episode Date: March 28, 2025

Big Jay Oakerson is a stand-up comedian, podcaster, and on-air personality. He co-hosts "The Legion of Skanks," "Story Warz," and "The Bonfire." The first installment of his new crowd work special, "Them," is now available on YouTube. The second part, "They," premieres April 20. www.bigjaycomedy.com https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T12MMZ69Z2Y Visit blackriflecoffee.com/joe-rogan and use code ROGAN for 30% Off Don’t miss out on all the action - Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using dkng.co/rogan or with my promo code ROGAN. GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, [phone] or visit gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit ccpg.org (CT), or visit www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). 1 per new customer. $5+ first-time bet req. Max. $200 issued as non-withdrawable Bonus Bets that expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: dkng.co/dk-offer-terms. Ends 3/30/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Joe Rogan Experience Trained by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day! Big Jay What's happening? Hell yeah. You went with the three nose rings now, you're getting crazy. Yeah, it's getting carried away. I went to go, I had a cold and I think I blew my nose one of them out. So then I went to go get it re-put back in and I was like, throw another one in there while you're at it. Fuck it. I'm just me fighting age I think. Is that what it is? Yeah, yeah. There's something weird when you're fighting age. Like you know you're doing it but you can't help it. Oh yeah, absolutely.

Like when people make fun of the way I dress or whatever, color my hair, my piercings, and they're always like, is it gonna change at some point? And I am hitting an age where I'm like, I can't just do a hard shift one day, but it is funny to think like, I can't see myself at 65 doing some of the stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know.

Why not? Who gives a shit? You can, but it's also like, I feel if I saw it, I'd have a million and one jokes about it. But it's still at the end of the day, you're like, I'd walk out and go, oh, I forgot my pocket scarf.

I gotta go back upstairs. I forgot my couture months. As long as you're still funny, you can pull it off. But when you're bombing with red hair and three nose rings, Shit, that's true. It becomes an issue. That is is true as long as you stay funny That's why I think when I first started I tried to blend in whatever I was I started that black circuit So like I had so much fubu shit on. Oh, there you go. Just like yeah jerseys and stuff

So I definitely played it up. The funniest was having a big silver chain with a cross and i'm jewish But it just really was like I think they'll like me more if I have a cross. When I first started, I thought you had to dress like those guys on Evening at the Improv. So I got a blazer and I rolled the sleeves up and I had like a wacky t-shirt that I wore. The costume? Yeah, the costume. You have a button on your blazer, some wacky button. I watched all those shows growing up, Evening at the Improv, Caroline's Comedy Hour. The evolution of comedy is insane. it's pretty insane. Yeah, the evolution. I just like the fact that are these guys

I've watched a like always laugh and go back to get Bill Kersh and Bauer Do you know that was that was the guy he played he was the coach on a sitcom He got a sitcom called just the ten of us where he had like eight kids Or something. He was like a coach. It was a spinoff show of some sort But he was just like a a zany comic he just would go on stage and he was just loud and weird and yeah oh yeah these were the guys who made the rounds right monologists yeah well it's almost like their act just got them to a sitcom like that was a real strategy back then you had an act that could get you to a sitcom

That's all everybody wanted when I did new faces at Montreal My manager at the time terrible Gave me. I mean he was just pushing the old advice He was like everything's like don't be yourself at all like right right a set. That's gonna be what's your sitcom basically and And dress, you know a certain kind of dress like first stage. I don't know what I was, I didn't know how to like what he meant in nice clothes. So I had like black loafers and straight leg, like dark blue dungarees.

And like a short sleeve button down shirt. I'm just picturing you and black loafers on. And a short sleeve like blue button down shirt. It looked ridiculous. And it was so dramatic. It's also funny, too, doing it as long as I have now. 27 years, I think, I'm doing it. Like, the hilarious, like, fake emotion you put into things.

I remember having my daughter was a baby when I did New Faces, and talking to the picture backstage before I went on stage. Oh, wow. We it and then had a mediocre set and all I got from new faces was like a MTV to talking head one-off like what were they thinking what were they wearing MTV to present you remember those things well you would just start talking shit about people that's it yeah and they would they just clip it up they took they wouldn't I did a couple of them They didn't air most of it

And the one I always remember because when I would go back to MTV for anything They would always be like we still passed the like the segment around of you doing that. What were they thinking? Yeah, and it was Fiona Apple on an award show years ago to accept her award She got there and started quoting. She's like the great Maya Angelou There's something and I was like Maya Angelou. I was. She's like, the great Maya Angelou, or something. And I was like, Maya Angelou? I was like, what is she talking about Maya Angelou for? Look, we all loved her as Wheezy Jefferson, and I enjoy her pancake syrup, but.

And then they were like, yo. Like, you can't call Maya Angelou Aunt Jemima. I'm like, but I'm kidding. I'm like, but I'm kidding though, I know who Maya Angelou is. Wasn't it funny that they took Aunt Jemima off of Aunt Jemima But that was an actual lady who was an entrepreneur Yeah, and they just could get rid of it because no one's paying attention to why They just decided that Aunt Jemima was racist uncle Ben, but that's true, right? I mean this this is not a tick-tock myth is it make sure that's true

And my might about I got might have got fooled by TikTok. I should say Reels, because I'm not really on TikTok. Whether or not Aunt Jemima was a real entrepreneur, I'm pretty sure it's true. I think it's based on a real woman. And I think she just was like an awesome cook and put together some fucking pancakes. Some great pancakes. Yeah, there's a lady. Nancy Green, it says. Oh, so her name wasn't Jemima? and put together some fucking pancakes and great pancakes Also her name wasn't Jemima right there

That's the real lady. I mean this is the first ads. I guess you could tell me that you can tell me hold up Hold up hold up. That looks like racist propaganda look at this look at this eyes in town, honey Okay, all arguments are out the window Eyes in town, honey, okay unless you are an actual black person saying that you can't write that down Like you know that was some fucking egghead Advertising executive to put that together. Oh my god the poor guy the printing press had to keep double-checking He's like are you sure we're gonna do this I? Apostrophe yes Okay, yes, it's how they speak. Oh, I don't know man. Oh, bro. I don't want to get involved in this

Oh damn, that was a crazy picture. I just saw I went to a that's so crazy I was looking at an art gallery in Philly recently that had like a Dr. Seuss exhibit at it and I forgot that Dr. Seuss had all those like crazy racist drawings and stuff. Right, what were they? What were they? It was just like you know a hunter like with like a savage with like giant lips and stuff like that. Oh that's right.

That's right. You know what's like the most crazy racist shit that caught me off guard was our crumb Yeah, you know our crumb the like 70s sort of psychedelic comic book guy He was very popular when I was a kid living in San Francisco I'm and then when I was an artist and I was like I used to love his talk cuz like god This guy's so weird and then I saw something like the super racist ones and you're like, yo What the fuck? It really is the explanation is like, now's a different time. He had some just weird shit, man.

Like he like riding on giant women. You ever see the documentary they did on him? No, but I know what it is, yeah. No, I've never seen it. It's very interesting. Because his brother is super weird and what it is, yeah. No, I've never seen anything. It's very interesting. It's like, because his brother is super weird, and his mother is super weird, and here's this guy wearing a tie,

and he's real pervert, and he's openly a pervert, but a brilliant artist. That's great, yeah. Art Croc. Really fascinating. I've heard of it before. It is amazing though, that the stuff, I went to a musician, a musician's house for New Year's Eve when I first moved to New York,

so 20 some years ago, and he just invited me and Kurt Metzger, and we went to his apartment and it was covered in like Sambo paintings, like real sick. Oh, jeez. There was like black people at the party, it was just like, yeah, it's art, and I'm like, I don't know if I'd cover my house and something I do explain every one of them to people I know yeah you have a lot of choices you can have puppies flowers I see it's so

funny when someone makes strong decisions if they change their ways I used to drive strippers to bachelor parties to be the bouncer with zero skills to handle that whatsoever I took the job as like fat kid that wanted to see naked girls for free and I ended up at a bachelor party with two brothers There's one of the brothers thing and he was covered in like swastika tattoos and all kinds of crazy shit and The strippers were not both white for sure but there's also black people this party and stuff like that.

And I don't know the explanation these guys have to give, but I talked to one of their black friends and was like, hey, is it weird to ask, but these guys are all covered in swastika and racist tattoos. And they were like, oh yeah, they just got caught up in some bullshit when they were teenagers.

They're good dudes. Like, wow. And they're still wearing short sleeve shirts, huh? That seems strange like you think these guys are being like wearing Torello and body suits like to cover that up It's like one of the arguments why you shouldn't be able to get a tattoo until you're 25 Like is that when the brains fully for yeah when you're a boy your brains women mature younger But when you're a boy your brain is fully formed at 25 when you're able to make solid decisions What decisions do girls make for tattoos that are that great very few swastikas very few swastikas like one of the numbers of swastikas On girls versus on dudes if we could Google that please

What percentage like what person is just that one girl the character that fire is a bulk plate in American history X Did you I just read a thing recently this made me laugh so hard. You know played in American History X. Did you, I just read a thing recently, this made me laugh so hard, you know this movie American History X? Yes, I remember that movie, that movie was crazy. Great movie, crazy movie, ending is such a question mark on it. Right.

And if you recall, like you know, he goes to prison, he reforms himself, he comes out, he tries to get his brother out of that mindset of being a white supremacist, and then he succeeds, basically, in telling him the story of what happened to him in jail. And then the next day, he walks his brother to school, brother gets killed by a black kid,

shoots him in the chest, and he dies, and then he goes in to save him. Or he goes in there and just cries, screaming like, what have I done? You know, his brother's dead now. And then they end the movie. The director, who apparently was a lunatic, him and Edward Norton fought the whole time

over how the movie should go. But the director's ending he wanted to do was after the brother gets shot by the black kid, they were gonna show Edward Norton in the mirror and then with the big swastika tattoo on him, and then he was gonna smirk in the mirror and walk off. I was like, they should've played back in black after that.

Tss, tss, gaah, gaah, gaah, gaah, gaah, gaah, gaah, gaah, I'm back. And he's racister than ever. I was almost gonna get it removed. Just imagine being. Smiling and imagine, I'm like a Schwarzenegger movie ending to American History X. That is so crazy that he wanted to do that.

I mean, not the song, but that is probably the thing that they should have played the song. Yeah, the image of smirking. The song would have been, everybody would have been so mad. Can you imagine if you cheesed it up just at the end? Like you have this brilliant movie and at the end, just total cheese ball, curve ball ending. Oh man, I remember taking a date to go see a,

there was a girl I lost my virginity to, who's a little bit older than me and very a very hippie-dippy girl And we went to go see um what the fuck? Was the movie was a John Singleton movie? No, no, no, no it was the one on the school campus Why am I blanking on it Omar Epps was in it Tyra Banks was in it. Michael Rapaport was great in it. Higher Learning. I took those girls to Higher Learning and the movie is great. At the end of the movie, Michael Rapaport goes crazy. He gets roped into being a white supremist with the Skinhead group on campus.

Never seen that. These guys were like me like hardcore on campus skinheads But they still got loans It's a science fiction movie. They're like white power. All right, I got a I got social studies in a few minutes I gotta go. Oh, hey finish. Can you finish nailing these crosses together? What year is this? 95 so yeah right when I graduated high school And I take her to see this movie, and it said the movie is, Michael Rapport joins the Skinhead group, black people on this campus.

A lot of things, there's like a black party going on. I think a white kid tried to rape a girl, Christy Swanson, and then all the black guys go to help and like kind of beat up the kid who raped her and then the cops Of course come and get mad at the black people and save the rapist Then Michael Rapoport goes nuts goes on top of the school and starts picking off Black people are in a 90-minute arc. Oh, yeah Starts picking off black people

One of them kills Omar Epps girlfriend Tyra Banks Oh God, and then he's he gets into a fight Omar Epps girlfriend Tyra Banks. Oh God. And then he gets into a fight. Omar Epps and him get into a fist fight. And then the cops break it up, start beating the shit out of Omar Epps. And then Michael Rapoport pulls a gun out on the cops when they're trying to stop him. And I know the scene's trying to be like they're trying to keep the situation calm so nothing more crazy happens. But they're going like, it's okay son. Everything's going to be okay. We're okay. You know while he's like holding the gun and then Think Michael Rapport kills himself

Is how that ends and then at the end? There's like a concert happening and they just put the word unlearn across the screen and you can just hear black people on the audience go what the fuck and I was like yo, let's go people in the audience go, what the fuck? And I was like, yo, let's go. I was like, let's go. And she was like, what? And I was like, no, no, no, let's go. Do not let these credits start.

Let's get in the car. And I mean, I don't know how bad it got out there, but it was a yelling, a lot of yelling. It was an inflammatory movie. There's no point in a movie where a white person got their due. It was always like, a white person fucks over black people and then the cops are like you're fine she shit happens man you can make a movie like that before the internet yeah

yeah you know well yeah cuz there wouldn't be a million signature proof that this shouldn't be a thing or whatever well it's also preposterous like patently preposterous. Just to argue it? Well, if you're pretending there's a white power group on a college campus, how about ever? Ever? Like, this is crazy.

You found the one, that's what you used to study, the one college that has a white power group in it, and like, open, openly. Openly. What? Walking around, tattoos out. And all the cops are openly racist. not just like there's a racist cop Just like there's a racist fucking postman. Yeah, this is racist everything's a racist dentist out there somewhere

Yeah, but no they make it like that at the today's meetings like alright. Let's round up some blacks make sure these whites are okay So crazy you can make a movie like that. I think you still be that kind of inflammatory they go for it I just watched that adolescence thing which I thought was a lessons. It's this New it's a four-part like miniseries on Netflix British I'm like I watch things so Open-minded and just looking to be entertained that I've missed messages a lot by the third third episode I realized, it's about a little boy gets immediately accused of, it's how it starts, of killing a classmate. And he's getting arrested.

Each episode is one shot to me, it's like a play. And the acting is unbelievable. But what it whittles down to, it's apparently like a, from the videos I watched beyond, like this show explained, because I look at all those and it was like an anti like toxic masculinity like message and the idea was just like The kids watched porn and his dad's a tough guy So that's why he thought he can kill a woman or why you can kill a girl

And they shout out a and again this I don't know a lot of this guy stuff other than the basic idea But they shout out Andrew Tate in it when I heard that name. I was like, oh, that's what this is But here's the thing there is That could be a real guy like that's less preposterous than the white power group on campus. Oh, yeah There's no doubt get radicalized they get an evil parent who you know They didn't really make it that was evil they were making it more like the porn and like the idea that like Well that mom should be in line and cooking these guys who grew up without a mom

Those guys can definitely they have a shitty dad and no mom those guys could definitely be and if you have a psycho in your DNA I had too much mom No, you didn't know you're the perfect amount to make you. This episode is brought to you by my friends at Black Rifle Coffee. That's all I drink folks. If you see me drinking coffee in the studio, it's Black Rifle Coffee. It's because my friend Evan Hafer who owns a company, I love him to death, and they make the best coffee in the world. They put together the best energy drink in America made with 200 milligrams of naturally sourced caffeine Low calories and absolutely zero sugar. It's available in four new delicious flavors

Project mango ranger berry freedom punch and white frost veteran Founded and veteran led each black rifle coffee purchase You make helps them give back to those who serve our nation shop now at black rifle coffee purchase you make helps them give back to those who serve our nation. Shop now at blackriflecoffee.com slash joe rogan with the code rogan for 30% off or visit your local grocery and convenience stores black rifle coffee america's coffee. I had a little dad, lots of mom, just tendencies when I was my step-pop man, he swooped in and saved my ass from really being as twirly as possible without being into cocks. I mean, I was right there priming for the take and I'm sitting there laying on my tummy as a kid watching Falcon Crest in Dallas with my mom. Oh my god. That's what I know Lorenzo Lama's from. Falcon Crest, not

renegade like everybody else. Was renegade the one where he was the karate guy? He was the karate guy but he was sent he was a bounty hunter. That's right. On a motorcycle. But wasn't he like a karate? Yeah, yeah, I'm not making that up. Well, no, no, he would fight his fights with crying. I was so beautiful He was gorgeous. So handsome. I know it really is the the sadness of a guy that handsome cuz he got a girl that was smoking hot and Then was it Shawna sand look at him Yeah, look at you married. I think he married Shawna Sand, was like a Playboy girl, and then they break up and she gets crazy surgery,

she looks like a lunatic, she starts doing porn. Oh no. And he still looks pretty great. He's had a ton of fucking series, those weird series that you like flip through in the middle of the night, like he's a motorcycle detective or something. It's like there's a bunch of those. How many is that he's one of those guys like always has a series

I mean the alliteration of the name he was handsome. It was all kind of perfect. Yeah, does he have a career? Does he keep the long hair? No, there's no way because he's still rocket like Fabio still rocks it. He's not letting go damn Respect now see guys shorter look at him Even older with white hair, handsome as fuck. But I mean, comparatively too, if you look at the ex that was like his holy shit wife. She fell apart. They all fall apart. That surgery is a crazy way to go,

because you can't see what you look like. It's like anorexics or bodybuilders. You get dysmorphia. Your brain starts playing tricks on you, and you think your lips aren't big enough, and your tits aren't big enough, and your face is, you know, like there's some skin on the side of your ears, you can pull it back,

and you can tuck this and pull that, and my ass would stick out more if they put the implants in, and that would probably get me a better guy. I'd get a fat ass. I always say it, I crowdsource it. If the audience will pay for it, I'll get a fat ass. Let's find out what they do because I'm bewildered So I know that there's an operation where they take fat out of other parts of your body and they stuff it in your ass

And it your ass looks like a bag of cheese Which is there's bad one. Maybe there's good ones. Maybe there's good ones. Maybe I'm being judgmental. It's probably a doctor out there Hey, I do it under the surface of the fat. So there's always a smooth area on top, some wizard with a BMW. But at this point there are good breast implants. At this point there are. They exist. Yes, they feel real. But also they look real and they don't have like the, where you have like the, you know,

you see rib cage between them. Yes. But here's the thing. You are putting something that's similar to breast tissue where breast tissue would be. So with this, your butt is a muscle. Yeah. You know, it's like muscle and fat. A male, why'd you say male, Jamie?

He's a male. How dare you. What do you mean? Can expect to retain anywhere from 60 to 80% of the fat that is initially transferred into the butt. I like when they say butt like that, I really think they're professional. Fucking, you're talking about surgery.

Into the glutes? You're calling butt surgery? Yeah. What kind of a fucking doctor, let me see your diploma. Now you're gonna wanna be gentle when you take a shit for the next three weeks. The rest will be reabsorbed by the body over time. The results you see immediately after surgery

and in the weeks following are not permanent. Around 90 days post-op, your butt will finally stabilize into its new shape and size. The procedure itself is semi-permanent as opposed to permanent. As your body responds to natural aging process and normal weight fluctuations, so too will your buttocks. Depending on the precautions you take during your recovery and the lifespan you maintain in the time following your BBL may last several years to even decades

I saw a dude at the mall the other day with a BBL for sure 100% no way it's real gay. Yeah Dare you ask that magic wasn't a gay guy imagine straight guys start getting BBLs. It has to exist I have to if there's definitely a guy. It's probably a whole website dedicated to normalizing straight guy BBLs. It's a daddy makeover. Daddy makeover. Just lift weights, you fucking pussy.

Just go to the gym and do the work. Shut your mouth and stop it with your BBL. And listen, I'll put it out there again. Unless the crowd pays for it, I will get a fat it with your BBL listen. I'll put it out there again unless the crowd pays for that We'll get a fat ass Here's the thing I think there's other ways to do it this was my question because I know there's an implant as well Yeah, so there's there's but implants Which is kind of even crazier because then you're taking the risk of having something a foreign object in your ass Where everyone's scared to get cancer like if you you're scared to get cancer, what's the place where you're scared to get the cancer

the most? Ass cancer. You don't have to shit in a bag, you know? So like you're thinking about these plastic things that you've inserted into the muscle tissue surrounding your... What kind of inflammation is going to be caused by that? What about the plastic leaching into your body as you're in the sauna? What the fuck are you doing?

Yeah, it's a weird thing. You know, I can't believe they still have perfected dick surgery, dick lengthening or thickening surgery, but what's crazy is there are procedures and people get them. I couldn't imagine getting a procedure that's been done like 30,000 times. Wait, here's the thing, man. You don't want to be the first tonsillectomy and that's like routine. Isn't it kind of shocking that no one's figured out a way to make a bigger dick? It's kind of shocking. It is shocking.

That's what I'm saying. I'm surprised that hasn't been the thing. There's the butt enlargement. Intramuscular buttock implants. Now when they say buttock, I feel a little more comfortable. I feel like these are real pros So you're gonna take those plastic. What are those things made out of Jamie? Let's find out what those ones are dirty They pulled them out of a but oh they took him out. He's a de-transitioner

Okay, so what does it say buck butt? Augmentation is most commonly performed by fat injections da da da da da Well men can do augmentation is most commonly performed by fat injections, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da, or men can do like women synthetic, oh, while men can do like women synthetic filters, fillers, oh, synthetic fillers, oh boy, and fat injections, they often are less tolerant to the procedures that require multiple treatments and whose effects are more modest. Interesting. They're often smaller and flatter buttocks are more resistant to augmentation efforts with stronger interglutial muscles and a thinner subcutaneous fat layer. So he's saying I can do it to dudes but it's not

gonna come out good. Isn't it crazy that the only Real endgame of this because like what's the benefit in your life? It's more sick, but it's like it's like money It's like ultimately it's like finding someone who's gonna like your weird body more. Do you think it's money for dudes? It's like oh for dudes. Yeah, these are dudes. That's a dude. Oh, that's just gay probably as fuck Or maybe the guy was also crowd sourced and maybe they paid for it Yeah Gay as fuck. Or maybe the guy was also crowdsourced and maybe they paid for it. Maybe, maybe it's just, yeah. Solid, ultra soft, silicon buttock implants of 400 CC were placed and a layered muscle and incision closure done, no drains were used. His long term results showed good improvement,

scroll up please, in his buttock size and shape. Hell yeah. Was even probably better in that regard than I thought could occur you It looks fake like there's a lump. There's a lump where you have a tumor in your ass, sir Like look if there's like a little ridge where all of a sudden the implant is that's so weird that I'm staring at this guy's butt So I don't think it's the same guy. This is the same guy I trust these people Why would you know I'm a dark people?

The internet law they wouldn't lie, but the penis surgeries are like nutty thing from like cutting a tendon Yeah to make it just poke out a little more and then there's other ones where they thicken it up They get in there with a mesh and thicken it up nice sauce When I was heavier even I went to I got a consultation free consultation at a plastic surgeon I was like I bet if I I'm fine with my hard dick But I hate my soft hang sometimes and I was like I bet if I got my gun sucked out Liposuction it'll make it a you did suctioned. It'll make it a you dig more impressive It'll make it look bigger soft

Particularly and I'm like so I went to the consultation. It was a male doctor. So you're like, okay And he gets you I mean, I knew he was gonna have to look ultimately at one point, but this guy Takes me to me he goes he goes. All right, drop your pants. I dropped my pants and I also have doctor dick You know, like it's like I'm also a guy So I'm like shit and you can't like I didn't want to try to like fluff it up You have fluff it before he walks in So I am he fucking

Comes in and he's like drop your pants on the tent. goes walk over to this mirror. Which is like oh god Don't make me do this and I stand in front of the mirror And he goes on either side of my dick with his hands And he goes right now looks like this and I can make it look And he just pushes my fat back and goes like this and I was like inches from your face I was like the whole time uh-huh I pulled my pants up like a victim and left the office and never even thought about it again. I was crazy That's a weird look

In there and then here I'm gonna move my face six inches from your dick, but don't worry School You see the frame diploma this is fine I went to school. I have a diploma. A doctor looking up at you? Do you like that? I have a diploma. You see the framed diploma? This is fine, this is fine. This is a safe space. What does your dick taste like? I wonder.

Oh man, there's no way he doesn't go out and talk to those hot ass nurses about my little wiener. Yeah, definitely. I drank oil in his dick. Oh my God, it smelled like cheese. I don't know, at this point they exposed so many people. Do you believe anybody's genuine goodness anymore? It's hard to believe.

You know, I went down a deep dive looking at doctors who use their own sperm in fertility clinics. Yeah. I was researching this one case. I was just, you know, I just wanted to find out, like, God, how did this guy, how did they catch him? What happened? Then I found there's like hundreds of cases.

Oh, yeah, it's got to be. There's hundreds of cases. There's yeah, it's got there's hundreds of cases There's hundreds of cases of doctors doing this There's doctors using their own sperm and then people finding out on 23 and me because it's like fucking everybody in the neighborhoods related It's just their kink just to like jerk off in the vials. It's just such a crazy thing There's so many fucking psychos out there What is this guy? Why are you injecting a girl with your jizz? I had this guy on yesterday that spent 25 years as an undercover FBI guy that

infiltrated biker gangs and neo Nazis and bro. Like you talk to a guy like that and you start really really wondering like what, where, where's the good in the world? How many creeps are there like how many really fucking psychotic people are out there organizing right now in the world? That's a wild thing to go with like different groups undercover though, too If they ever overlap someday like and you go hey you were a skinhead two months ago When'd you become a biker? Yeah, exactly and this guy is Look at him. I'm sure you picture him. She's a big fucking giant dude

Yeah with a goatee and pulled back hair and tattoos all over his arms So he like blended right in with all these psychos. Thank God. I used to have a When I was young I had a joke about the concept of like with the hookers Where you have to they go? Well, where you have to, they go, well, if you ask them if they're a cop, they'll tell you, they tell you, goes, they have to tell you, or it's entrapment. And I was like, then what the fuck is undercover work?

I said, do it like five years with the mob, and then one day they go, hey, you know, I never even asked you, this is stupid, but are you a cop? I was like, shit man, yeah. I think that was like a- You were at my kid's christening. I know, man, you never asked. I sw at this point. I thought you were never gonna ask

I think that was like a dumb thing they made up for TV shows You know and then everybody thought it was real like some dumb plot point. Are you a cop? No, yeah, you of course you could say no right because the good guy who was the cop always had to be honest Yeah, he was never lied He's got this he was telling me about he had to do cocaine with these people They had to beat people up and he's like if shit went down, man I had to be a part of it the prostitutes things they would do on cops were always they'd get in the car And they'd be like, are you a cop?

He goes come on do I look like a cop bro this guy got busted wearing a wire and got away with it Really? They didn't find the wire no shit They came that close. He said they were inches away. They were rubbing his clothes like checking all his clothes He said they were inches away, but he was like arguing with them I can't fucking believe you guys like that kind of shit After I after I mysteriously showed up three weeks ago, and now I'm working my way through the ranks now You're gonna start pat me down all right, and I'm helping my way through the ranks. Now you're gonna start patting me down. All right. And I'm helping you run guns and drugs to Mexico.

Guys, I bought donuts yesterday morning. I'm that guy. I'm that guy. I am your brother. I'm the dude. And meanwhile, they all go to jail eventually. From him, they were right. Also when they do undercover,

it still seems like when they would go home at night still, come out of their biker clothes. How was it hon like these guys are animals I hope one of them didn't happen to follow me home Well, he was he was not doing things that were anywhere near his home He would go away for long stretches at a time and go back and forth and he had all these reasons for doing so different Businesses that he did that he was involved with did he ever like find himself You kind of like hang with somebody that much time and they think you're their friend Do they ever get like sympathy for them? Oh, yeah. Yeah, definitely. That's one of the more fascinating parts about it

It was like he this guy that he had to put in jail. He's like that guy was like my friend He's like I we finished each other sentences We were just like each other other than the fact that he was a criminal and I was an FBI agent And I was like do you think that you could have gone down that road if you had the wrong lives like abso Fucking lootly man abso fucking no shit all of us could have I go that's what I think too I Think that's repping to Michael Rappaport in higher learning With the wrong crowd he was a regular guy with good intentions next you know he's shooting women Supernormal in a 90 minute arc of a film.

It was so much so fast. Unless he's the star of the film where they follow him every step of the way. It was a Clockwork Orange for black people. They put like, for 90 minutes you just bled, yeah. Michael Rappaport is this kid and it is hilarious. You gotta see when the cops, it's when the cops have him at the end and they're like son

Everything's gonna be fine. You're white. Oh my god. Oh my god Rappaport does a really good job of complaining about things Something that he's fucking screaming and yelling pretty hyped about Israel seems it seems like it yeah, I've only seen my two things Israel and Ari Only two things have ever hyped And also I think The rising of the black race also, I think pissed him off a scene in that scene in that scene But to his credit that was the 90s. Yeah, nobody knew better back then in that scene, but to his credit, that was the 90s. Yeah.

Nobody knew better back then. Well, that's so funny for him also. If you remember his first big role, great movie, called Zebra Head. Oh, yeah. And he was like, because that was more of his thing. He's more of like a wigger kid. He was in Do the Right Thing too, right?

Was he in Do the Right Thing? I don't know. I don't know if he was in that. True romance for sure. That was great. When it comes to college basketball and March mania One thing is for sure Nothing's for sure upsets buzzer beaters

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I think he was in that. May have been. Was he in it, Jimmy? I didn't watch a lot of Spike Lee. Oh, he had some bangers in the early days. Mowbet of Blues made me feel lazy. Because I remember Denzel Washington would practice every day.

You know, like he was an artist. He would practice every day. And his girl was he was an artist. He would practice every day. And his girl was trying to fuck. And he was like, no, no, no. I have to practice. And I was like, wow, I wish I was like him. I wish I would practice more than pussy. I would think about that like as a comic.

Like even when I was a professional comic in the early days, I didn't spend my whole day writing. I was fucking off, playing pool, and hanging out with my friends. You might be thinking of True Romance. He was in that. No, no. I thought it was a... Or, sorry, Do the Right Thing.

His first movie was in 92. Oh, really? Interesting. You're thinking of Danny Aiello? I don't know who I'm thinking of. Who am I thinking of? Go to, Do the Right Thing, cast. That's it.

Terturo? Maybe I'm thinking of Terturo. That is probably who you're thinking of actually. That is who I'm thinking of. It's hard to see in that picture but he was younger. That's crazy because he's younger. I mean Michael's a lot younger. But Zebrahead, yeah he was like his uh, his whole thing is like a hip hop guy. That's right. So it's so funny that he plays this like major role as like a white, fucking white supremacist. It gotta take what you can get, you know?

It's acting, bro. You think Robert De Niro really was a psycho and taxi driver? No. No? Maybe. Go watch that movie again, woo. You know what's funny? The building I lived in in New York on 57th Street is the old taxi depot that they shot taxi driver in and they keep

Downstairs like where the gym and stuff is they have the sign still they keep the side the original signs The parking lot that was a good movie And if Robert De Niro just never gave a political speech I would think about him that way You can't make a movie like that with a budget anymore Every movie with balls it has to be an indie flick. 100%. Yeah. Or you have to be some beyond reproach director that they just let do whatever they want. Like Tarantino. There's no way, once upon a time in Hollywood,

went through some sort of executive focus group. There's no fucking way. He's killing women, smashing their head on a mantle. Spoiler alert, I mean dogs are eating dicks. What a brilliant ending though. Oh, that movie's great. It's so good. It's so good, I love that movie. I don't know if I've seen that final scene

where they flip history. I've never had an audience in a movie theater like communally Laugh like that since the Jackass movies. Right. Jackass 2. It was a cheering moment too. That was a fucking great movie. He's got all bangers. He's the only guy that I could say as a, well there's a few others you probably could put in that argument that have zero movies where I'm like, eh. Oh, that have no, like everything's good? Tarantino? There's not one that I can think of

that wasn't fucking awesome. I love David Lynch, but he's made some crap. I liked a movie that you have to try to figure out, but when you can't figure it out, and other people can't figure it out, you're like, this is just a hunk of shit there. Right. Like, you can't be so artistic that nothing makes sense.

James Cameron's done some fucking bangers. Do you watch, like, I've gone through on the road and watched like the 25 most disturbing movies Know all time. No, I don't like being disturbed that much to you. Yeah, I think so I mean, I just kind of see work how far people will go in a movie There's some way I mean Serbian films the most notorious Yeah, there's some fucking psycho movies like who's that one that evil clown that kills everybody and doesn't talk The terrifier. Oh terrify. Yeah, bro These movies are fucked up. Yeah, but there can't be on purpose like they're so over-the-top

violence Of film I was really in horror movies when I was young and there was a whole category of films There were just gore films. It was yeah, they were called gore of films that were just gore films. It was, they were called gore. It was like a gore, it was those guys who would like chop women up with an ax and pull their guts out and rub them all with their feet. Like, fuck.

They also had excessive nudity in them. Those were the horror boxes at the video store that were bigger than everything else. Like those, like I Spit on Your Grave movies like that. Like the box was way bigger, so you really had to walk up like a piece of shit I'm gonna watch this rape revenge movie with my other teenage friends. Thank you Nothing like a good slasher rape revenge movie. Yeah, so these are the fucking best. Why is that? We're so dumb. We like to just sit there and watch this guy kick everybody's ass. Yeah, fuck him up

Yeah, it's Robocop. Love it Yeah, fantasy. Did you ever see Sisou? No, I think it's my favorite next to John Wick It's my favorite probably right up there with John Wick as my favorite revenge movie of all time It's about a guy and the whole movie has no English in it. It's in World War two. Is it Finland? I think so. And this dude is a soldier who? retired from the war and became a gold miner, made a little score and was trying to get to the town with his score and he runs with the Nazis. And it's so fun.

It's so fun. Because you could tell this guy does not want to do this, but he's got to kill everybody and they all get cocky with them, what do you think the mindset is? Nice So it turns out this guy was like famous in the war for being impossible to kill his scars all over his body He's like the absolute worst guy and They found him and he kills everybody spoiler alert, and it's fucking great. It's just fun What do you think the mindset is between?

Behind like a Liam Neeson who I mean there's a movie comes out almost bi-monthly of him getting revenge for something Hey, it's a living. I get Bruce wills at the end started doing that did he yeah just movies that were just like two words or something Well, I think he was suffering from that Illness for quite a while. You know what it is. It's called aphasia. Yeah. Yeah, it's dementia, right? It's not good Yeah, it's bad. It's real bad I don't know what causes it whether it's genetic or what have you but people they slip away and he might have you know towards the end I mean

He just goes this guy's got a lot of them They're all him with the gun goes this guy. Yeah, he's got a lot of them. The hell with this guy. They're all him with a gun. Like it's all him with a gun. And here's the thing, that him with a gun shit started later in his life.

Yeah. That's what's crazy. He became like a guy who fucks people up in his 60s. Yeah, he was Oscar Schindler. Like how old is he now? How old is he now? He's 72 and he's fucking people up in movies. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Oscar Schindler. Schindler's List. Bro, when you're 72 it's hard to get out of bed. You know, you're like, oh. When I saw Schindler's List when you're 72. It's hard to get out of bed. You know you're like oh When I saw Schindler's List it made me think of uh now I give the prices of everything and amount of Jews I could have saved like how much is this TV? It's about 12 Jews It's um what was that you just pulled up Jamie you're showing me making the naked gun they are with Liam Neeson Well, there's a few movies that they've people have gotten a few AI things pastor and everyone takes is real You're showing me making the naked gun. They are with Liam Neeson. Yes. I don't know well There's a few movies that they've people have gotten a few AI things pastor and everyone takes is real like I've seen it Oh, right. I've seen I believe those every day. Yeah, I saw Keanu Reeves is Dracula and I was like really

Right in like Keanu Reeves is gonna be Dracula now That's crazy because he was in the Dracula movie back in the day and he was Dracula's girlfriend's boyfriend. They always get me with like a Rob Zombie's remaking something you love. Rob Zombie's cool. They're always listening. Have you got him on? Yeah, he was a cool guy to talk to.

I toured with him. I've met him a handful of times. He's good friends with Tom Poppa. We've been introduced in that regard. And whenever I see him, it's the blank of like nope I went on stage right before him the entire tour and he has no recollection one time this is a great story I was uh we had tickets to go sir passes to go see Rob zombies I think was the Halloween the original Halloween remake he did.

Oh yeah. And comedian Julian McCullough had these passes, four of us, it was gonna be me, Nate Bargatze, and I'm trying to remember, Dave Smith. Yeah, it was Dave Smith and Julian McCullough. And I had auditioned for a TV show the morning of that. And it was the first audition I ever did that it went well, went really well.

And I got it. I got the part, it was a show I was on for two years called Z Rock. But they go, this is how much acting is not my passion, or something like that. They go, we need you to come back in at like four for a table read we're gonna do. And all I thought was, I was like, shit. That Rob Zombie movie starts at like four for a table read we're gonna do and all I thought was I

was like shit that Rob Zombie movie starts like six o'clock I'm like how long are we gonna be here for like she's only big an hour so if when we get back here and it was going it was running late when we got back there so I told Nate Bargatzee to go I'm like hey go down there and get in line you know to make sure we get into this thing I don't know if they're overselling it or not and he goes all right so I get out of this thing and we're I'm rushing down we're walking to this movie theater and I call Nate this is so defeating I go hey you're down there goes I don't know if I'm at the right theater and I went what do you

mean he goes I mean there's a big line for something and I was like Go get in that line Nate and he was like, oh, that's it. So we get there We're so far back in line. There's no way we're getting into this movie and I'm like shit Julian's very handsome So we send him up to kind of schmooze the girl up front no dice And then I see Rob Zombie walk into the diner next door and I go this might be our chance. I walk into the diner next door and I go this might be our chance I we just are loosely connected and you know maybe I can get him to remember and we go in there it's my best interaction with him ever I go up I go hey Rob I go Jay Okerson I go we met it through Tom Papa before and Bob and he's like oh yeah and he shoots this shit with us for like five minutes and then I go well anyway

man I'm really excited for the movie. I hope we get in, you know, we're like super far back in line. He goes, you'll be fine. Just so. And then we, and we did not get in. We rode a hot subway home together staring at Nate. Oh no, you'll be fine.

Yeah, he goes, nah, you'll be fine. You'll be fine, as I'm not gonna help you. Yeah, it really wasn't a flight out. He goes, this has been great, but leave leave me alone now the thing about it though is like does he save tickets like does he have a block of tickets saved for sure for sure not for the guy at the diner though there's some people you just don't resonate with in the world I think I don't know Dave Chappelle's no Dave Chappelle I've met over the last 25 years

a dozen times. I did some punch ups on season one of Chappelle's show. He bumped me and Kurt Metzger off a weekend in the thing, but we were there and we hung out with him there and every time I see him still, it's completely unfamiliar. Chris Rock, same thing. I do not make an impression with these people.

That's so weird. I also shut down around celebrity. Oh, maybe that's it. So I can't inject my personality out of the gates in a situation where I'm intimidated by someone. I'm like, where I go, not intimidated, but I go, man, I really want them to like me. Isn't that weird?

Because you know so many famous people. But you know what I mean by want them to like, not like me, but I go, man, I really want them to like me. Isn't that weird, because you know so many famous people. But you know what I mean by want them to like me, but I go, if I try to be funny and I whiff, this sucks. You just feel nervous. Right, so I'm like, I could just lay low and not take the risk of being not funny by accident. That's hilarious. It's hard to feel like.

There's no one who intimidates you anymore. I mean, the people you have in here and just strike a conversation with is unbelievable. No, people don't intimidate me anymore. They inspire me. Some people are fascinating. They inspire me. Every time I have a big guest coming in

that I don't know on me and Bobby Kelly on the radio show and someone's coming in, I get like, when they're like, all right, we're gonna go get them now, I'm always like, wait, all right, wait, okay, go get them. Because I'm like, shit, what do we even start with? I used to be like that on Opie and Anthony. Yeah. Yeah, when I'd go on Opie and Anthony

and they'd have famous guests there, I'd be like, holy shit, you know, that's this guy. Holy shit, that's that guy. Yeah, yeah. That's weird. The first time I went there, I got bumped back to the couch for Ace Freely. Ace Freely?

The party was like, this sucks, but wow, it's Ace fucking Freely. I met Ace Freely when I was a little kid. Really? Yeah, my uncle was an artist, and he was working for this advertising agency in New York City, where they made album covers. So they made album covers for Kiss.

So my uncle was one of the artists that made the album covers for a lot of the Kiss albums. No shit Yeah, so I was in his office hanging out with him during the day. I was probably Eight or something like that. I was fucking young man, and maybe I was a little older than that I can't remember it's hard to remember but I was a little kid. It was pre high school and This guy walks in was like, you know long hair looks weird Just like a weird dude

And he made some like weird noise like It was real strange, and then everybody goes hey ace hey ace And I was like what like that's that's ace freely with no makeup on like this is crazy The old and he signed a napkin for me Do you have it? Yeah? Well? No, I don't think I have it anymore. Maybe my mom might have it I'll ask her I doubt it. It got lost somewhere, but uh, it was the craziest thing I was like wow, that's the famous guy with no makeup cuz everywhere they went They were people were paparazzi were always trying to catch them, you know

Like Gene Simmons would wear like a bandit's mask And they were always trying to catch them without their makeup on has a celebrity ever let you down Look when you met them Not really no honestly no No, there's only no no I've always worried about that Marilyn Manson was always somebody I wanted to meet and then when he went through all his shit did not want to meet Stay away, but then I want to like I very much would like to met him He's such an interesting character, but like I'm like you can oh I'm such a fan since I was a kid that I'm like just could only let me down somehow like to met him. I think he's such an interesting character, but I'm such a fan since I was a kid

that I'm like, this could only let me down somehow. I met him. He's very interesting. He's an artist. Yeah. Yeah, he's a, you know, if you think of some of the songs, he's really beautiful people.

You don't make that unless you're out of your fucking mind. Like that's part of the package. You want brilliant fucking wild music, you gotta get a dude who's out of his fucking mind like that's part of the that's part of the package no you want brilliant fucking wild music you got to get a dude who's out of his fucking mind do you have any theories on why people can't like classic amazing bands can't make a classic again comedians can still write their best joke right and and it will be accepted everyone's looking for that what's the new thing but like if Guns N' Roses got everybody back together again and sat in the room for three months They can't make welcome to the jungle again. They're not the same guys

You know that's part of the problem and then also part of the problem is I want to see guns and roses in Athens I saw him in Greece. It was just a total coincidence I was there with my family and I ran an axle rose at a restaurant This is more recent real recent okay last summer there's yeah like last summer the summer for last summer before last I guess and You know it's one of those weird moments. I gotta hope he knows who I am you know to me I'm gonna go say hi. I'm gonna be a dick and this is after my friend tried to say hi to him And he got shooed away. Oh

So I went over to his table, and he was like oh hey, man. What's up? I was really nice to meet you. I'm a huge fan this night because we're doing a concert here tomorrow night You want to see him? I'm like fuck yeah And so my whole family went to see Guns N' Roses were backstage watch it was amazing three-hour performance These guys are in their 60s. They're fucking rocking hard I saw him on the new tour. Three hours. But the thing is they have so many hits if If you want them to do all the songs you love, it's gonna take a long time.

And if they're gonna add new songs. Isn't it crazy too that it's essentially four albums? Crazy. All of that from four albums. Bangers. Yeah. They did great. I was pretty impressed with,

for me to get in the age. Dude, welcome to the jungle to this day. I'll hear that song go, God damn, that was a fucking good song. I took my parents to see it in Madison Square Garden And it was such a weird I got so straight the things I get emotional about are ridiculous I got like teary-eyed emotional when it starts welcome to the jungle, you know, they start playing the riff and I got immediately teary-eyed cuz I was like it just took me back immediately to a time It was like a time travel and I was like, holy shit. I'm like 11 12 years old

We've got this album and my mom was like, what is that shit? You know, and now my mom's like here with me watching them as a classic rock band What year did welcome to the jungle come out? 87 I want to say 86 I Remember being right out of high school at the gym Lifting weights the first time I heard it they were put you know at the gym everybody would just play what's on the radio you know WCO Z and

You we were listening to the I think was WBC and the Rock of Boston appetite for destruction 87 yep, so that was two years out of high school school and I was like wow listen to this you know the first time I heard it and like kind of backwards tracked it from there I think that came out pretty sure it came out first was the movie Deadpool oh yeah the Deadpool Clint Eastwood yeah yeah yeah and the scene was Jim pre famous Jim Carrey plays a rock star junkie and They're shooting his music video and the song they're using is welcome to the jungle really yeah You can see it's a pretty popular seats if you look that up Deadpool

the Deadpool When poor Jim Carrey when did motley crew come out with kickstart my heart? That's probably 86. That's that was my favorite workout song of all time. Look at that. Jim Carrey. That's Jim Carrey. Isn't it funny, even though he's not being funny at all, he still, it's like his movements are so Jim Carrey.

Like again, but like again, you don't get to be Jim Carrey unless you're out of your fucking mind No, no he's showing that now to you know you don't get to be that guy You don't get to be fire marshal Bill unless you're out of your fucking mind I'll make a lot of concession for someone's process but when I watch that documentary about him doing the Andy Kaufman movie and him coming into the makeup thing every day and really like Screaming and bothering the shit of everybody as you see almost you see Judd Hirsch his face in the documentary like that's plenty. We're good. I get it

You have to get into your mode or whatever but like come on Apparently he would go nutty if he fucked a scene up and like smash things Yeah, exactly. It's like this is not that that was not his personality when he was talking out of his ass cheeks You know, I mean or when he was doing vanilla ice on in living color You know, I mean like that's what's that personality shift where you become a guy who's kind of like Rude to interviewers and stuff like that like strange. Well, I think when you're trying to get into a character There's like a thing that the some of these guys do where they are just that guy the whole time like when when Who was it that played Lincoln?

They'll be Lewis Daniel Day Lewis right yeah, so when Danny Day Lewis was playing Lincoln. He was apparently Lincoln Yeah, they said all day all day long all the time Yeah, so if you're playing you should let me you shouldn't let me eat modern foods then that's catering Here's your mutton mr.. Lincoln Right you got to go full old-school. She's your mutton Mr. Lincoln. Right you gotta go full old school. Shit in a hole in the ground sir. We're having Chilean sea bass. You? A bowl of gruel. Some deer jerky. Yeah like and no teeth no toothbrushes. Yeah. We haven't figured out toothbrushes yet. When do they figure out toothbrushes? That's a

good question. Like when do people start brushing their nasty fucking teeth? Something smelled like in like the 1500s my producer brings it up all the time Because he watches a lot of like period p shows like that and even like the Like Peaky Blinders, what it was chose They always have like attractive people in these like the Deadwood times like that would end in the girl You know if you like lift her skirt up You know God, I bet it smells like a fucking murky dungeon down there And then when she bathe and then all they there's no shower

So they have to just bathe in it and just hope that whatever is in there washes the surface What did people smell like back then that means like prostitutes? If you go it's like what's the best they could do by way, they probably spelled better than the people living in the cities. The people living in the cities were all just using public outhouses. The cities were filled with shit from horses. It's like, ugh. Coming home and kissing your wife at the end of the day

is just a. You're tracking shit everywhere. And so is your dog, and so are your cats. Everyone's tracking shit all over your house, all over your tables. There's shit everywhere. Yeah, just wooden's tracking shit all over your house all over your tables. There's shit everywhere Yeah, just wooden floors with dirt all over them shit and just little little scabs of shit everywhere This is shit everywhere you go and everyone has smallpox

That's why yeah, no one kid if dear wife if your husband died you have to marry his brother That's why anybody talking about the good old days shut your stupid mouth This is the good old days for basic hygiene. Yeah books and medicine and shit. What the fuck are you talking about? Oh, I wish I lived back in the 1600s when I died if I broke my ankle now, but if I could have picked Getting for the so hard because like moving backwards like well I would take all the technology of now of course you can't go anywhere then you can't make it like a hybrid deal No, no, it's not a hybrid deal but if I was saying if I have to just let go of that and see with what the most fun time would have been to

To be like a teenager in 20s 70s. I think well Listen to ambrosia fucking you can wear a silk shirt on ironically We were all real confused. If you were chubby, no one even cared. Chubby guys got buzzy in the 70s. If you had a beard. Did they? As long as you had a beard and some long hair.

And you knew how to get cocaine. Yeah, and if you knew how to get cocaine. I'd grow a long pinky nail so people wouldn't know my house was the party spot. Yeah, that used to be a thing. You see a guy with a long pinky. That long pinky nail was like, oh, that guy parties. That was like when there was a bad guy in the movie had a long

Long pinky nail. Yeah, which is so gross. That's so disgusting We think what what that's how bad people want cocaine. They'll snort it off. So it's stinky fucking fingernail. Oh yeah, I went to a I Did a gig opening for Bobby Slayton? years ago at the West Palm Improv the old West Palm Improv and That was a great room the guy. Yeah, the wide shallow one great room and I forget the name is Joey something was the guy who hosted but he was like local local legend this guy and

He brought us back to his head He's like he took us to the strip club and it was like everyone knew him kind of thing and then brought girls back to his house and I am always impressed with the level of like a person who carries their morbid obesity with like a not give a shit and also have no care that the girls are gonna suck his dick or fuck him because he's got coke.

You know what I mean? I'm bad at the fuck me for something thing. But this guy, we went back to his house, I mean, his underwear and a robe open, do you know what I mean, with all these girls around just giving him coke and shit was wild. But he had a cabana in the back of his house. But the most interesting thing about him

that I found out was the next day He wanted to take me somewhere to eat So he picked me up and he was a narcoleptic and every time there was a red light he'd fall asleep and snore Not just fall asleep snore You have to acknowledge you gotta go like hey man. Oh my god. Hey, okay? He's never acknowledged you go Yeah, I'm good, and he's going as soon as he hit a red light Like loud aggressive snoring now is the second narcoleptic or does he have severe sleep apnea? Because if he's a big fat guy he's probably never were rested eyes closed head goes to the shoulder instantly instantly

What is narcolepsy from? Like they do like healthy people have not narcolepsy like is there any athletes that have narcolepsy They said Ron Jeremy was person who had it and he's another guy's big and fat Yeah, he was the sick he came to seller one time with that Dennis Hoff guy. Mm-hmm, which yeah Yeah, that was a guy of the people like quote-unquote celebrities who would come in that I can never pay like homage to and have like the thing was I didn't want to meet was like a Dennis Hoff. The pimp of the bunny house. I don't know why I was so celebrated I know it's like it's legal but like you don't see his personality is kind of

skeevy as shit. Well there was a weird time where for whatever reason they were kind of celebrating pimps and prostitutes like do do you remember Pimp's Up, Hose Down? Sure. Yeah, I mean that was like a famous documentary. Mr. White Folks. Mr. White Folks, yeah. He was the best, yeah I watched all those. But they were like celebrated, like people liked,

and then there was American Pimp, remember that film? Yeah. Yeah. No, it was, well that was like the small window of like Prosexuality and go be whores girls and then it immediately became me too. That's what that happened It was weird though because it was the exploiters of those women It wasn't like it's okay to be a prostitute It was it's cool to be the man who exploits all these women and gets them to go be prostitutes for him I think it took 20 some years for people to realize that Joe Francis was a terrible guy, you know

I mean he was celebrated as as hell. I just heard a Howard Stern clip the other day We had Joe Francis on I'm sure if he asked about Joe Francis now, he'd be like what a terrible piece of shit But when girls go wild was a thing everyone was just like who cares how it gets done Yeah, that's crazy, right? Like girls gone Well, that's how the when the internet wasn around, you could buy tapes of drunk girls at the bar flashing their boobs. You'd pay for it. You'd pay for it.

Yeah. And it had like a production value. Oh, now you'd pay for it, and then you were part of a subscription service that- Is that what it was? Yeah, and then every month it would be like, going wild girls on campus too and girls covered in bubbles Was it one of those things with your trick you into subscribing? Yeah It's Columbia House like Columbia House for titties. Yeah. Yeah crazy. Oh, I've ruined Columbia House and me have ruined the Credit of my all my pets in my life

Getting your credit Columbia House got in your no No, I'm saying you just put you send the penny And you put right you put your cat's name down, and then they just send you ten CDs What was the checks and balances on none? I always thought that that was a fluff up scheme for the record business where they could say they sold more records than they did That's possible. That's actually not a bad move kind of a good move if you want to get a gold record or a platinum record Sell as many as you can give you ten see when it went up to a dollar send a dollar is where it stopped You know guys, but a dollar gonna give you a penny. Yeah to me a dollar really was like no

I just usually tape a penny to a postcard What a concept to take penny here It said is the dumbest concept ever you give them one penny And if you give them one penny they give you a bunch of CDs and you're supposed to hand them money you know like what you get to pick them oh yeah you pick your first day cdc it was my taking it was my before I had a porn magazines readily available to go into a bathroom or anywhere where there was a bathroom where I felt I could quietly look at porn magazines it was the TV guide, take the TV guide

in the bathroom, do the crossword puzzle, and then pick my 10 CDs for a penny. Because it was always an insert on the TV guide. That's right. It was the postcard. Yep. Tape, penny, here. And you send it in and all of a sudden you get,

cassette tapes are in the mail. Oh boy. Yeah. Oh boy. It was so great. But isn't it a smart move on their part? Because it probably introduced people to a lot of music Because if you think about it, you're only listening to the radio

The radio is only playing what they play and they can only play so many songs, right? And if it's a hit they're gonna play that hit over and over again You can hear this and there's Rolling Stones. There's the Led Zeppelin, you know, you know a lot of time for other music No, so this is a good way Even if you're giving it away to people which mostly are. Like what percentage, let's find this out, what percentage of people actually paid for their Columbia record and tapes? I think adults would definitely end up paying for it because I think the deal was you're giving them your address. Right. So whatever the fake name you put down they're billing. I

don't remember them chasing me at all. I didn't feel it but they have but what they would do though is send you more. they would send you like I'd get like a CD every month but I wasn't picking it reaches peak at 94 it accounted for 15.1% of all CD sales yeah had 10 million members yeah became a member of a club that was kind of what was happening right what percentage people paid them well that's I mean it doesn't say it on here. But if you think about just that, that's almost like more radio, right? You're putting the song on the radio for free, you're sending out these cassettes, even if people don't pay, that music's getting out there.

They're gonna maybe buy another Rolling Stones record or tickets to see the Rolling Stones. Well, you're- But people didn't complain about being part of Columbia House, I don't feel like, but it's like Stones. Well, you know, he wouldn't complain about being part of Columbia House I don't feel like but it's like remember when you know I was like Metallica getting furious about like lime wire and the Napster and those things But it's like it is sort of the same thing like your sacrifice But but it wasn't they came from a time though where the money was from the recording You read yeah touring but there wasn't taking away for the money of the recording because you couldn't

You know You read yeah touring but there wasn't taking away for the money of the recording because you couldn't you know Like it wasn't that many people doing it when it became something you just download onto your computer that got weird Sure, and then record sales dropped off a cliff so they were right in the rub But they were wrong that you can stop it like you can't you couldn't stop it right once like they were trying to like put Fingers into a broken dam There's no way like you got to get the buck out of the way like you can't once it's on the internet when things are on The internet you can't say it's stealing to download it to your fans You can't do anything you just got to realize all the world just changed the people stay that stand off for a while too like was it Maynard did not want to go on a

Apple music or Spotify or anything forever? I think Garth Brooks didn't either, right? Kid Rock didn't for a long time. And then a lot of them would try to go and like, I'm going to do my own Apple music. No one gives a shit. Well did Jay-Z get that, right? Yeah, Tidal. Did that work?

I don't, you know, it's interesting. When I talked to Kevin Hart in Montreal some years back and he was buying up He was buying up things for the LOL Network that he was starting which was like I guess an internet network and They made all this news because when he did the pitch show where they were pitching Ideas for his network. He apparently in the room bought like four or five of them And when I saw him that night, I was like were these five five shows you saw today they're like definite shows and he was like no but it gets your press you know

I mean he was telling me kind of like the whole thing of it goes but the idea if he was saying he was doing with that I'm like are you gonna run a network now and he was like no you want to build it until it becomes competitive and then another company comes along goes could we give you money just to go away is the idea you know so it's like the idea is that he wants to Netflix to buy LOL or something like that so it's just a good business move but I don't do you know absolutely but I think you think like that I have no business acumen whatsoever yeah that's a weird business acumen to have but I'm also but probably effective I'm you know blown away you know, I watch you when you talk to Bert

sometimes about that, about his employment of so many people. And everything, like, which is great, he's got a great thing over there, but like, production company, I feel like the, when you get a lot of money sometimes, which is impressive that you haven't done this, it's like you want to do almost like too much, like, well now I'm a producer of things. And now it's's like this or other businesses that you want to like Start that are like outside of comedy like is that what your thing was always like it was never mine like to be like a business owner or anything or some kind of like You know where I was have products or something

I think what happens is once guys realize the amount of money that they can make they want to just make more sure It just becomes a numbers thing. Just you see it. You're like, oh my god I can't believe I'm making this much money, but if I did this then I make even more but I'd rather give a friend Like some capital to like do their special then over, you know I mean unless I was taking a job in it like I'm gonna direct this and see if I can do that you know, but just like the idea of job in it, I go, I'm gonna direct this and see if I can do that. You know, but just like the idea of, like, I'm taking in, like, I have to take a meeting for a sketch show that wants to be on my network today. I'm like, I have no interest in that.

You also, you only have so much bandwidth. Sure. And this is what I think people fail to think about. Like, you require time to do everything. Your time is limited. Like, you really have to think if you, oh I could fit it in, oh I could do this, oh I could do that. Sure you can, but then there's no you time at all and then you're running on fumes. And when there's no you time and you're running on fumes,

you're not the best version of yourself. So you gotta know like where you're at. You gotta know where you're at like in terms of like your sanity. Like if you're working all the time, five different jobs constantly and you're never home, you sleep till fucking seven in the morning and then you're up gone all day and fucking going, going, going, going, going, going, going. You don't have alone time. If

you don't have alone time, you don't even know how you feel about things. But you also get used to odd things. Like my alone time I look at is like the hotel with the hotel room Just watching the bullshit that I want to watch on YouTube and doing anything that it is strange When I think I want to be like off and like stationary for a while like I feel like the day He's like a day here and there where it's like morning till night. I just have nothing I have to do It's rare, but when it happens that day. I tend to not be in a great great mood Really don't know why well it's because what you do you love and it's fun That's the thing like if you're doing something all day long, and it's just like business stuff And it's just for money, and it's not something you love that's a different vibe right. That's like a hustle vibe

I'm gonna get these get these numbers up and get this going and I'm a fucking I'm a worker And I'm gonna grind her I'm gonna show you because look I got this now and then I got that now see I'm grinding but as if it's a virtue I always try to say this is a very important thing that people need to hear just because it's hard to do doesn't mean it's good to do there's a lot of things that are hard to do that you don't necessarily want to do I don't want to climb Mount Everest it's hard do. But doesn't mean it's good to do. It might be good to do for you because you need to prove to yourself

that you can do this extremely difficult thing, but people are dead. There's a bunch of dead bodies up there. That's not a good thing to do. To me, in my opinion, there's a lot of stuff like that in life. And just because you can do things, I'll show everybody that I work harder than everybody else,

like maybe you shouldn't sure like you need balance you need balance in this life and that's hard to get once you start when you start making money the big fear is what if it all goes away 100% start you start clutching you start you start having famine instincts like oh my god what if it all goes away so they start doing things that you think will ensure that it doesn't go away Well, it's that feeling you feel like you're running a scam. Yes, because also it's something especially with stand-up Putting a price on things is so strange when you're like, well, I've done it For more than anything. I've done it for free. Yeah, then

second most I've done it for pennies, you know I mean, it's like the same it's interesting to be like well I've done the same job for $50 that I've done for a hundred thousand dollars you know I mean like it's strange like it's a strange place to be and so but it's because you do feel like well what's what's it gonna take until I'm back to like you know hey you want to come do a hundred I still get affected and it's just young comics being young comics, I don't mind it.

But like, as long as I've been doing it, I know they just want you to come do their show, but they're like, hey man, I do it Tuesdays at the stand at 6 p.m., like, Levy can throw you 100 bucks and stuff like that, and you're like, why do you think I'm gonna come? And why are you naming the money? If you just asked me to do the show,

I'd be less hurt if you were like I got a hundred bucks for you Too like great like that feels weird. They're kids right yeah, right and when you're a kid a hundred bucks is real So it's real to him. Oh shit, and so I've done for a hundred bucks. Yeah, so it's like real money It's like oh a hundred dollar gig in town great. Yeah, and so he doesn't know any better yet No, no for sure and like I said, I not insulted they want you on the show that's great it's just the idea you're like $100 they're gonna sell me dude don't say that well I think he's just letting you know he'll give you something and sure oh great I'll go down there I never write back like I mean that would be I'm

not like that with young comics though at all I'm so bad at like it's my the tough time. I have would kill Tony I love doing it and I always have a great time But like the initial like just going at somebody like I feel like I'm gonna especially if I want to come out of the gates And make fun of them. I almost have to have the look over of like I'm just fucking around Yeah, I know it's so difficult what you're doing right now I'm in it a comedy under the stress of how big that show is now and for some Of them first time they've ever Servicing guys the first time they ever went on stage they went on stage in Madison Square Garden. Yeah

16,000 people and they followed dice What are you talking about? Look at your phone for notes. Hang on Madison Square Garden. You barely can get to the one minute mark. What you practice in the mirror is just, everything's falling apart. Oh yeah, the running out of time, that was the funniest. Woo! Like well this is three minutes of material,

or 30 seconds if it doesn't go the way I think. Cricket, cricket, Jesus, panic. Isn't that the biggest, to me, I felt like the biggest milestone in comedy, the action of it, I mean, was not being afraid of quiet, like the crowd being dead silent. Even if I said something that I thought was funny and they're still dead silent,

that not being like frazzling, you know, I don't get shaken by that. That's confidence from a lot of big sets. A lot of sets where you killed, so you're like, I know I'm good That's what it is. It has to believe thing. It's like I haven't it's also like I haven't conveyed it right then Yeah, like it's me probably but like they're not just getting what I'm thinking You think if they just saw my thoughts right now, they'd get how funny this is. Well, here's the thing too

The you know, you're gonna run into a jazz crowd every now and then. When you go to see music, you go to see a band, you go to see rock and roll, you go to whatever club you're gonna go, you go to the whiskey, it's a rock band, we know we're gonna go see this blues guy, we're gonna go see a country guy. You go see comedy, you could get Taylor Swift, you could get ACDC, you could get anything, you can get all kinds of shit. You can get the Pixies, you can get all kinds of shit when you go see comedy. There's so many different styles.

To call it one thing is kind of weird. And you could be a rock and roll guy and you're on stage in front of a jazz crowd. Oh yeah. And they don't want your bullshit. They don't like how loud you're being, why are you moving so much? No, it's what, we're here to snicker.

You know, I stopped putting in at one point for the small room at the stand when I was in town for the weekends because, and this is no fault of theirs. I know they're just booking me because I'm home and they want me on the shows that I can do. But they would put those shows, they would book the TikTok,

like celebrity girls, like girl comics that were brand new in comedy, but drew the audience. And they're also young enough in comedy that they're posting their spots. Oh my God. You know what I mean? If you wanna see my schedule is like here. So the room's filling up for them.

And I'd go up, I mean, the second I get on stage, you'd see the face and groans of like, just a man's gonna come what lay it out now and I would even try to play with that idea do you know I mean like explain what's going on in the room and they would just they tend to my last one ever doing up there there was an Asian girl on the front row that I was fucking with like going back and forth with her but she was great she was like into it she was laughing and she was busting balls back a little bit which was fine you know she showed me she was

kind of like playing around with it and then I see another girl's you know 22 years old or whatever 23 going into her phone and I was like oh I lost you already I go I lost you and she goes Maybe that's something to do with the Asian girl thing and I was like wait because you called her Asian girl I was like wait, but she's fine I go are you you're getting upset on her behalf and she's fine, and she was like yeah and I was like that's retarded and then a lady in the back of the room stood up, lady, a girl, and literally clutched her jacket together and went, you just said the R word. And I went, the manager was in the room,

and I was like, can you take me off the schedule for the rest of this weekend up here? I go, I'm not even mad at this crowd. I'm like, you have to give this crowd what they want. If you put on a three week open mic gay comic up here right now, he'd murder. Like, read the room of what you're booking. You know what I mean? It's like, you have to see what's happening. If you put on a three week open mic gay comic up here right now, he'd murder Like read the room of what you're booking, you know, I mean, it's like you have to see what's happening It's like you're putting me up there. This isn't fun for me and it's not fair to that like right they've been sold a show

That's not what I do. Right, so I don't have any kind of gripe on them. Just like don't put me on those shows Yeah, you shouldn't be on that show. Well, just people enjoy your mate You're fucking up your own your audience is actually gonna like the club less because they think I'm the piece of shit that's always here. But then there's another argument where you gotta kind of do all kinds of crowds. Of course. Because if you only do your own crowd. Like, one of the things that happens to guys is they start doing theaters and they do real

well and then they bring a lame opening act and then they're only playing to their crowd. Oh yeah. And you see the drop-off. You see this like weird creativity drop-off. You see the weird impact and not killing is hard. Everything's a little fake and forced and it's it's pretty noticeable and normal. It's like normal. It happens a lot. If you're not doing clubs. Well I was gonna say if you're in theaters you're removed from the audience. You got to mix it up. You have to be doing little little room sometimes. I think it's like if you're an athlete you have to lift weights, you know, I mean, I think there's there's something to that Oh, yeah, I like to go

Do crowds that aren't my crowds plenty, you know, I mean, I mean, but I mean just different sizes too, right? Oh, yeah without a doubt. Yeah sometimes like one of the great things about the store was like you could come in there on an Sometimes like one of the great things about the store was like you could come in there on an off night like a Tuesday night And do like a 1 a.m.. Set when you're doing a 1 a.m.. Set there's like 25 fucking people in the room Sure, and you just like you get to and they've seen everything they've seen five hours of fucking stand-up They came from Kansas. They've seen five hours of comedy and most of the audience is gone. It's a shame From a comics perspective I knew from from a business perspective it's great, but like the Comedy Cellar, like it's funny for people to not even know anymore or remember

there was a time when I got into the Comedy Cellar, there was still, when you went on at two o'clock in the morning, there could be 15 people in the audience. Now it's show lets people out, another show, another show, so it's like it's always sold out and packed. But like there was something too, that was kind another show, so it's like it's always sold out and packed. But like there was something too, that was kind of like, that was the training ground. I go up after David Tell almost every night of the week in front of 15 people was like, that was great training.

You do need that for sure. And I still need that. It's not so much that, I'm just saying, I said take me out of that room because it's always this audience, and it's just like, you're putting them through a thing they don't need to be put through right? That's go downstairs downstairs isn't my audience either I'm just like just put me in the room where it's not been sold is this one thing, right? Well, that's that's a problem with like some clubs that have restrictions on what you could say on the stage like why no

No, you just can't book this guy. All right, like there's there's a club Where is it and is it in Portland or Seattle? There's some club that these guys got to Duncan got to and he sent me a photo of a list of all the things that you can't talk about we don't tolerate at this Club we don't tolerate racism sexism transphobia like okay, whenever it's the one that Like I don't know what it is. We don't probably don't even say need to say the name Oh, I don't know the name of the people in trouble I don't know the name of the place, but there was a but just don't book people You know what the fuck they do and don't book anybody. That's not you if you have a specific

Crowd you're trying to cater to that's your prerogative no problem with that Sure, just book the comedians that fit. Don't have a list of shit someone can't say once they get there. That's crazy. Also, assume that if you're booking somebody though, that you'd have to put those rules for it. You have to like, I always liked that thing. It's like trust the comic to be a professional.

Not that they'll always come through in that regard, but you can put me on stage anywhere and assume it's not gonna end with me being in a fuck you, fuck you with the audience. You know what I mean? Like, we'll get out of it. Relatively pleasant. Well, you're a guy that's very flexible on stage,

which is just a huge benefit. You can always fuck around with people and engage with the crowd. Like, you're so good at it. You're one of the best in the business at it, for sure. You're really good at it. But it's also fun and jovial. You know how to tie it all together.

That's a giant skill if you're doing a bunch of different kinds of rooms and different kinds of places. But when a club owner or someone says that you can't breach certain topics, because that's what you're saying. If you're saying we don't tolerate racism, listen. I don't either.

But that's not what jokes are. And there's a way to touch on race that a super ultra sensitive person would say is racism. And another person who's more objective would say, no, this is just making fun of the differences we all have, and how crazy it is that we would think that any one is superior to the others. There's ways to do that. And to say that, you know, that's racist, that we don't tolerate racism, like, well, what do you call it? So you can't just define what the,

you can't define hate speech because that's your definition. You force me to go with your definition. Yeah, it can't be opinion-based. It can't. So you just gotta let people speak freely and then you decide who you book or don't book, but know what the fuck they do.

That's part of your job, part of your job as someone who books a fucking theater, is okay, if you have the theater, you own the theater, you don't want anybody performing that doesn't meet your expectations, that's great. One of the funniest things is, I'm always blown away by, is the people in the audience who Are hating the show which is fine that happens, you know, some people come they didn't know what they were coming

She's really coming into sure girlfriends get dragged Yeah cast fan, which I also tend to like take their side if I see that happening I try to do that. I'm like, why do you make you come to you know? Why do you put you through this kind of thing? Yeah Is uh is how I will usually approach that. But when you see those faces, when they, if someone like that gets shitty,

and stuff, it's, I'm always surprised how aggressive they are when they realize that they're the minority. You know what I mean? It's like, I don't know, cause you suck and you're not funny. Such a funny thing to shift. How much you can make that person an enemy of the room by just going She's saying all of you are stupid as shit because you're laughing at it. Then just they'll hate her for you

Well, there's always gonna be a you suck and you're not funny person in the world. Yeah Well, that's a skill you have to get that poor girl that poor girl in a That had the video of her skits and out on the guy in the audience. Oh, yeah That was that was, that was unfortunate. People piled on on her which was actually fucked up. She was getting like death threats. Why would you death threaten someone who had a bad time on stage? It just seems weird.

But again, that's the situation of getting an audience before you're ready to handle all situations. Because the thing about that was the heckle in that video is, I mean, heckling 101, like the thing you should be able to handle is someone going, you're not funny. I'm funny, you want me to tell the joke? Like, give me the microphone.

This is all like, I said these are the lobs they throw you at a pitching practice, the batting practice to fucking do crowd work. Like, yeah, it's like, they're saying you suck and you're not funny Yeah, come on. You know right away. You could see him. He's right in the front Yeah, like you could pick him apart visually or ask him a few questions make him look dumb there's just ways to but She wasn't composed because she was leaning into that with like why got this whole crowd behind me

But it just looks like a lunatic when she put it out to the world Everyone's like you're crazy and this crowd put it out herself yes that's the only reason I thought it was fair to talk about it all yeah well you know if it was someone filming her and being like look at this dumb bitch or something I would be I don't know if I would have went at it cuz I'd be like I would if I talked about it I would be like it's fucked up that somebody did that like you're posting her fucking although that said I mean I've watched Pablo Francisco fall off stage seven thousand times What's that what's that sir what's that said need to be yeah, I've seen that too poor Pablo

Funny motherfucker. Um, yeah, man. The thing about that girl is like She ran into all of the fuck you you're not funny people in the world. Like see if you have a crowd of 200 people and you got one fuck you, you're not funny girl, that's one thing, but if you scale that out to the entire internet, that is so many fuck you, you're not funny people, and those are the ones that are gonna comment.

You know, there's plenty of people that saw that video, like you and me, who were like oh god, but you didn't Comment no, so who's commenting the fuck you you're not funny people. Yeah, so when there's 30 million people seeing a video you're gonna get 13,000 plus fuck you you're not funny people who post constantly no he's gonna post 10 15 times They're gonna be arguing with people in the comments telling you how you should kill yourself Yeah, yeah She's gonna post 10, 15 times. They're gonna be arguing with people in the comments, telling you how you should kill yourself. Yeah, you gotta hide.

You can't, and most people don't. Most people go online and they read all the things. Like, oh my God, what are they saying about me? You gotta just get offline. Well then there was another, I think an Asian girl doing an open mic who they had a video of her like throwing shit around and smashing stuff. Well, she's fighting the patriarchy.

So let her lash out. But just, I almost wonder, remember that was the fear, they were like, people try to create viral moments, so heckling will become, like people go to comedy clubs, like, I'm gonna heckle and make a moment. Yeah. It's also a thing about, like, comics, they're just trying to find a, uh, like a lose their shit moment on stage also.

Oh, wow. Do you know what I mean? You think so? Yeah, we're like, looking, not even for a thing, not trying to, not keep it funny, like let me let me go viral go at somebody like really hard you know I mean. Yes well some people are just socially retarded and they think they're really good at it and they're just not they're not really good at communicating they think they are and then they're

screaming at the fucking fucking. Fake anger is hilarious. Fake anger is the best. Especially when it's a joke that's been told for like 10 years and you're like, you can't be pissed about this anymore. You know what the craziest viral moment was ever in comedy? Heather MacDonald making jokes about vaccines and then blacking out. Blacking out and banging her head.

I only say this because she's okay. But I think she cracked her skull. I think she fractured her skull. I mean, her head fucking bounces off that hard stage. And it looked to the audience like this was like a pratfall. This is a part of the bit. The timing was so good that it looked like a bit. Yeah, she was talking about.

And then they were like, oh, oh my God. She really did just black out. Yeah, they almost laughed for a second. Like, okay, Heather, that's plenty. That's good. Historians will study that video. They will not believe, they might be for a second like okay Heather. That's plenty. That's good historians will study that video They will not believe they might be proof of the simulation that video might be proof of the simulation It just doesn't make sense. Is it like unless God has some amazing sense of humor some

Amazing sense of humor. That's a good my favorite my favorite stage moment on, it's still that classic, this is before YouTube and stuff, the look at these biceps guy at the Boston Comedy Club. Did you ever see that? No, what happened? It's an open mic.

He's definitely, you find out through the video, he's getting heckled by a girl who also went on stage, but she did well, she has her friends there clearly. So she did well, and this guy's just like his comedy is all written he came out of the gates you know when you've kind of fake alpha on stage right away oh no so he's just he's got these jokes it's like one's like a racist joke he tells at one point and it's just his whole personality is just he gives off a bad vibe for sure so he sucks and this girl in the audience sucks.

And when he can't take any more of her heckling, he just goes, you can't even get a girl. He goes, you think I can't get a girl? Look at these biceps! And it's such a break and he means it. If you look up, look at these biceps, you'll find it pretty easily. It's so old, but this is the old

Boston Comedy Club in the village. Oh, that's funny. That place was great. The place was, yeah. This guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, he looks crazy. I met a girl.

Look at my fucking bicep. You think I can't meet a girl? Oh my God. Anyway, before I snap and start drawing stools all over the place, I'm going to give you thanks inside. Ooh. What year is that from? It looks like the 90s. Oh my god! Anyway, before I snap and start throwing stools all over the place, I'm gonna give you thanks.

What year is that from? It looks like the 90s. I found this at over 10 years old, so it's... It's late 90s, early 2000s. An Android phone from the 90s? Actually, no, it wasn't. It was the 2000s because it was called Comedy Village at that point still. They changed the name. So it was the early 2000s. So that's the old Boston comedy club Wow I was working in that place back when Neil Brennan was a door guy. Yeah, I became friends with Neil when he was a door guy

It's hilarious Kevin was already rolling Kevin Brennan, I don't know. I don't Kevin Brennan was yeah, he was around then I think he was already doing stand-up. Well Kevin was the first one. Yeah to do stand-up. Oh for sure. Yeah, he was definitely way before Neil and then Neil Yeah, yeah, that place was a great class with Little club that was the Barry Katz All the clients worked there. Were you a Barry Katz client ever? No never steer clear I've been no I just been with the same manager since I was an open mic er. No shit

Yeah, wow back in Boston. Well, he found me in Boston. He was a New York guy. That's why I moved to New York No shit. Yeah, I wasn't even supposed to go on stage that night Oh, so lucky because I would have panicked and I would have choked I didn't know he was in the room I had no idea so he had come he was he used to manage Bob Nelson remember Bob Nelson. Yeah Hell yeah, so Bob Nelson. It's Philly guy, I believe. He became very Christian, and he was gonna have his Bible partner, his guy, become his manager. He had this guy that, they were brothers in Christ.

Oh, jeez. And so Sussman was looking for new clients, and he thought he saw everybody that he could see in New York at the time. And so he had a good friend that was taking a trip to Boston. And so he went with him. And he said, I'm going to set up some shows at some of these comedy clubs. So they had all the local Boston headliners,

like big name guys from the town would all perform for them. And I was working driving limos at the time. And while I was driving, I would come up with some of my best ideas sometimes. Because you know, I didn't listen to the radio, I would just drive. Because you couldn't listen to the radio when you had clients. And so some of my best ideas came from just driving around. I had this fucking idea.

I'm like, oh my God, I think this would work. And so I called up my friend who was the manager and I said, hey dude, do you think I could get a guest spot tonight? And he's like, yeah, absolutely. So so he hooks me up I have no idea I go downstairs this guy who becomes my manager is walking out of the room to go to another club which is down the street and he hears me killing and so he comes back downstairs and he watched my whole set and I would have never done what I did how are you doing comedy at this point?

Three years. That's fast. Yeah, three years. So, but I was pretty, I had some good sex jokes. I had some great jokes that would kill. And I would have never done them if he was in the room. Because everybody had to be clean back then. That was like, you gotta be clean, you gotta be clean. And I was like.

You had good success in acting stuff. Was that your, when you got into it, was I know when I got into it, what I thought was interesting was I started to do stand-up comedy. It took me a long time to realize it, and I love broadcasting, I think it scratches the same itch for me. Broadcasting is what I, but I didn't, never got into it to act or all these different other things. So, but as soon as you get into it, especially when you have a manager, you just see the industry unfold, you see everyone's like,

you don't have a commercial agent, you gotta go out and audition for commercials. All these things that I was like supplementary, that I was like, instead of doing that, I'm just gonna keep doing the black circuit, cause I can make some money there. I was getting a couple bucks, enough to survive on shows and that.

And then I'll just go hang out the mainstream rooms at night and meet all the comics and get on when I can get on. But it was never, I would not go so many times to a dynamic, I don't fucking. Yeah, I did a couple of those. I don't want it, and I ended up sitting on this show for two years, and it was a great experience in hindsight.

But like. What show did you go on? It was called Z Rock, it was a IFC show. What was great about it for me was because uh It was the Kirby enthusiasm style writing so we get to say whatever we wanted really and it was cursing and there was no Problems with that so it was a very fun show to do in that regard, but it's getting just wasn't my wasn't your thing in fact when I When I was doing it I would still go like three of the nights a week

We do five shows every other night I would still go do my spot the seller and she was giving me 2 a.m. Spots and I have to be on set at 7 a.m. You know 6 a.m. Sometimes and when they would get like you know I would take naps in between like scenes or whatever and they would be like why are you going and doing like stand-up so late? I'm like oh because this show will not be forever, and there is 50 people waiting to jump in my spot there. Yeah, of course.

I'm established there right now, so it's like, when this goes away, that's the thing that's still gonna be there. Yeah. And so I definitely made sure, as I said, but also I didn't wanna really be an actor. Well, in the 90s, it was just a money thing. There was two things that everybody wanted.

As if you were a comic. You know, you wanted to be the head of a sitcom or you wanted to host The Tonight Show. Those are the two things that everybody wanted, which is why Jay Leno, people to this day don't understand, like, why did Jay Leno want The Tonight Show so bad that he was like hiding in the closet and you know that whole story where they're negotiating.

And you know, they scratched and clawed, and everybody was mad at him because he took it from Conan, remember that? Because he went back, because Conan's ratings weren't as good. All that craziness was, that was the golden carrot at the end of the stick. Everybody, in our minds,

everybody wanted to host The Tonight Show, or you wanted to be Jerry Seinfeld. So that was what you got. And so these people came there, and that's all the industry talked about, because that's where all the money was. That's what your agent wanted you to do. That's where all the money was.

And everybody's just pushing you in that direction. Yeah, that's what it is. But it was a push in that direction, because it was like, you're, but it's an antiquated idea that comes from the time of like everyone in entertainment was like a triple threat. I watched something a while ago that was a Jamie Foxx.

But you're right. But even go back to like the Sinatra is and they said a Barney Miller, Hal Linden, there's videos of him like singing on he went on on like talk shows and as a singer. Wow, because everyone had to like dance. You were like a showman. Right. There was no like focus in one direction. Wow. Because everyone had to like dance. You were like a showman. Right. There was no like focused in one direction. Yeah. So the idea. The idea that you were like I came into comedy as a mega fan of stand-up comedy. I loved all of it. I didn't even like draw lines on you know the people

I liked more than others and Dice was my guy for sure when I was 12, 13. I just hit him at the right time. Yeah. That I loved that but I was such a fan of stand-up that when I got in a stand-up I only saw like now I didn't know what the path was to selling out comedy clubs or theaters or anything like that but that's all it was I didn't get into this and I was like oh and then I'll have a sitcom and then you just get told right away like what year did you come along? I started in 90 97 okay, so I maybe 98 that was like the peak of the sitcom days that was friends That was sign that was everything was still on the air back then right Seinfeld it We had wouldn't what year did Seinfeld end I want to say that was like

2000 no no I'd be eight. was like 2000 no 98. Yeah, I was a 98 98 Yeah Okay, and then there's friends which kept going a little while longer, right? You know and then there was like Caroline in the city there was like all these shows that everybody was like in the city, there was like all these shows that everybody was like, that was the goal. The goal was to get on a show, and everybody wanted, and everybody got a network deal,

and they were handing out deals where you would get like a couple hundred grand, you didn't have to do anything, and they never even made a show, and then you'd get another deal next year. There was a bunch of guys who were always having deals. And that, a lot of those people, when I got in the comedy, I'd see those people

like chest out at the comic strip. Oh yeah, weird. And stuff, but then, never heard of, I mean, I wouldn in the comedy, I'd see those people like chest out at the comic strip and stuff. But then, never heard of it. I mean, I wouldn't name names, but I mean, it was just weird to see people that were like, oh, they just got their second deal with NBC, holding deal or. Yeah, oh, they were convinced it was gonna go.

They would tell you, like, I got a million dollar backup deal and this and that, so they have to do my show. It's gonna be on the air, you should play my brother. And then it doesn't, it's such be on the air you should play my brother, and then it doesn't it's such a Well you see people getting really weird and acting like they're special before they're even famous sure You didn't even get on the launching pad yet, and you're already acting like a fucking crazy person But also out of that I saw I I've been doing it long enough to see people kind of go and be like shit the acting thing seems to be going and I'm gonna go to LA or something in entertainment, like, besides stand-up is going.

And they focus on that for a couple years, and then nothing really pans out from it, and they didn't keep doing stand-up. And then they come back, and it's like, and then they're confused because I've never had my own sitcom, I've never had anything, but like, one thing I never stopped doing was like working the whole time still. So it's like you're building a fan base

still when people a lot of people left at a time where it was like oh this is where you have to start you know they went to go to acting when everyone was like all right this is its podcast times now and social media times and you have to get all these things going and you connect with the audience and stuff and keep performing and like they went away and then come back and it's hard to start again it's hard to start again It's real hard They saw a lot of guys during the writer strike tried to do it again

because there's a few of those guys that are really good that are just writers and They become they become trapped in that velvet prison of getting that you know you make good money You got a great health plan. You, you got a nice house, got a mortgage, maybe start having kids, and you're not really a comic anymore. Now you're working on a sitcom or you're writing. And the problem is, you don't have a backup plan anymore because you can't just go on the road anymore

because you don't have a fucking audience. So all those other guys that you came up with that kept their comedy up during that whole time, those guys can still tour. Like, Fitzsimmons was very smart about it. Like, Fitzsimmons did a lot of writing gigs, but he never stopped doing stand-up. He never stopped doing stand-up,

and he always kept getting better. And so, like, when writer strikes and things like that happen, Greg's fine. Like, he sells out all over the country. He doesn't have to worry about it, but it's because he's smart, and because he, like, saw the writing on the wall, like, I'm not falling into this trap.

Well, it's a matter of what you wanna do. When you woke up in the mornings to go do news radio, were you thrilled going to work every day? No, news radio was really fun. It was really fun. It was a lot of work. The cast is crazy. It was really fun.

It was a real fun environment. We had a good time. The writers were amazing. It was like perfect best case scenario for a sitcom. And it was the second sitcom I was on. The first one I was on was like worst case scenario. Not worst, but started off great. It was on the show called Hardball with Jim Brewer.

Jim Brewer was, he played one of the rival mascots and he gets beat up. It's Jim was so funny. It was so funny It was a real funny pilot and it was written by these guys who worked on married with children and they worked on the Simpsons They were really funny writers Jeff Martin and Kevin Curran and these guys put together this really funny show and then the network Get up they just they just jizzed into the soup it was a mess they brought in a bunch of people that shouldn't have been there and a bunch of in it the show fell apart and but I got I got to watch like these brilliant really funny guys get their work just shit all over by the network and have it fall apart and become just a joke could

you have been roped into stopping stand-up? Like not doing stand-up to go in the full time? No, no, no, no. From sitcom to sitcom? Well, one thing that I did do for sure is I neglected my stand-up for a few years. When I was doing news radio all the time, the problem was in news radio in the early days,

they were really long hours because we were trying to figure the show out. And there was a lot of network notes back in those days. And the network was really behind it, but it wasn't owned by NBC. It was produced by Burlstein Gray. So if you wanted to be on the good slots, right? So what Paul Simms would call,

Paul Simms is the creator of News Radio, would call it the shit sandwich. So you'd have friends and married with children, and in between you'd have kind of cacau sitcoms, it's like a shit sandwich. We got on those spots occasionally, and every time we did, we were like number two in the country,

number three or something, but then we dropped down to like number 80, because we got moved like nine different times, over five years, nine times over five years. So the show didn't really become successful until it went into syndication nice So it was one of those weird things, but I never I auditioned for two shows ever I auditioned for that hardball show I got that that got canceled and I auditioned for news radio That was it really it was the nuttiest thing of all time, so I didn't want it

It just happened so it wasn't something like it was my golden carrot. My golden carrot was just, I wanted to be a professional comic. And then as I was like barely making money as a professional comic, barely surviving, all of a sudden they're like, we'll pay you $25,000 a week. I was like, what do I have to do?

Well, they're gonna act? Okay, now I'm acting. And I would have moved back to New York 100% if I didn't get an apartment. So I signed a one year lease on this apartment in North Hollywood and so I was staying I was like I gotta stay because I wanted to just go back to New York and play pool and hang out my friends I didn't like it in LA it wasn't my cup of tea I didn't like being around actors and it was hard to make friends

with some of the comedians and the comedy store was weird back then so I was like I was ready to go back to New York, and I had this fucking lease. So I was like, I can't break the lease. I don't have that kind of money. I've gotta keep this lease going. So I stayed there, and then I got News Radio, like right afterwards. Which is great.

It was crazy. That's a whirlwind for sure. It is funny though, it's like, just that lead of that, like, that you're supposed to do. Like, to me, it was sitting for whatever the 10th time, you know, I think, I'm watching, to me, it was sitting for whatever, the 10th time, you know, I'm watching, especially actors, like, walking back and forth, like, how serious they're taking getting there. And I'm just like, holding the sides barely,

and I'm like, what's like three lines we gotta say, like, relax. And I didn't book stuff, but it's also just like, as I'm sitting there, like, I don't know if I wanna be the, you know, the Trident Cinnamon Gum guy. Mitch Edwards, I don't know if I want to be the Trident cinnamon gum guy. Mitch Hedberg, you still have a bit of that. I don't know if I care. I just don't like, it's like if you get it, it's almost like fantastic.

You know, like that's great, but. If you get it, it's extra money. Sure. But then once you get all the extra money, you don't have to really do that anymore. And that's when you got to decide. Like one of the things that I had to decide after I did Fairfactor, I was like, okay, no more of that, please. Yeah, I did it one more time I did it one more time when in 2011 fear factor came back for a brief amount of time And that's when they made people drink chis

canceled forever Till ludicrous came back and did it on MTV No, just those no, no, just they tone it down back then but it was Is it just like it? There's a different thing that's happening when you're doing down back then. But it was, is it just like, there's a different thing that's happening when you're doing something just for money. You know, you're just like, okay, it's worth it. It's worth it for this amount of money.

And then you gotta know what to do with that money. But I used to have to- You gotta plan your escape. I used to have to like, talk myself into, like when I would get those, we were like talking head shows. I think on History Channel we did like, I Love love they were trying to do like a spoof of I love the 80s and I love the 90s they would do like I love the 1880s or I love the 1890s or whatever and they would give us like history stories and write

jokes and you're talking head things and I would look at it as the burden of that next day yeah I'm gonna wake up at 8 to go into the city and like to do this thing it's never I look at all the city and like to do this thing that's never I look at all the stuff and I'm like it's network it's history channel so it's like I can't really do exactly what it is I do and then because I'm gonna go as close as I can to my own voice that like it's probably not gonna get a lot of stuff on anyway. Yeah. And but I don't really convince myself like you know there was a kid across the street from me

When I lived in South Jersey for the couple years who was in a Froot Loops commercial I said and he and he might as well been Brad Pitt, you know I mean like like to me I was like he's been on television and I'm like Think I'm going to do a TV show tomorrow history channel anything Have you told me when I was 12 13 years old that hey you want to do a TV should be on TV on the history Channel you'd be like no TV is that possible? You'd be like, no, TV, is that possible? So you have to remember that it is pretty extraordinary to have some of these opportunities, but man.

So I try to take them in when I have them. I did, I was in the movie Hustlers as the strip club DJ. What is Hustlers? It's the true story of the girls at Scores who were like rob, the strippers that were robbing the guys. Oh really, when did that movie come out a couple years back now but uh shit maybe like seven years six seven years ago but I was the strip club DJ and that and like I really had to go there because I look at that in hindsight of it it's

like it was two 14-hour days of like nothing so much nothing going on right you just waiting around yeah and just whiffing when I had these opportunities. But I'm also trying to take in, I'm like, holy shit, that's Usher over there. That's fucking J-Lo. As I'm sitting here like, when do you guys need me again? It's like J-Lo's in a thong, like twerking on stage,

like doing her scene and you're like, oh, I should really enjoy some of it. You know what I mean? J-Lo was on stage twerking? Yeah I introduced her her what year was this? 2018 maybe yeah my voice opens this scene damn is that really JLo? Yeah it's so this is her 10 years ago? 50 years old. Not then she wasn't yep 50 on set. Yeah, wait a minute. How old she now? You said this is 2000 what? 2001

2000 1918 was she really 50 back then yeah God six years ago. She's not 56. It doesn't 19 Okay, how old is JLo she's 56 I guess no is she really whoa that's crazy yeah but what is she doing I don't know but she looked fantastic I really shined a light on this girl's generaletics this girl's narrow Asian ass really shine a light on that he that. When they were choreographing them together on stage, it looked so, it looked so shitty.

That's... Yeah, she looks great. That's incredible. Good for her. She seemed nice. I tried to talk to her once and I whiffed hard. Did you? I just... Get panicked? I planned...

You thought you could be number six? I planned what I was gonna say. That's what the problem was. Oh, you did Yeah, how bad I it was bad. I said when she Next time she turns around cuz she seems nice. She's gonna like at some point. She's gonna talk to me We're doing this one scene together where she hands me money and I say like a line And every time they yell cut she put a robe on and turn around Talk to her assistant, but I'm like she does nice, and she's gonna turn around and ask me

some version of how you doing. And I'm gonna say, you know, I'm just living the life of a fake strip club DJ, and that's gonna make her giggle, and then we're best friends for life. And instead of waiting for her to say anything, the next time she just, her eyes just crossed my eyes, I went, living the life of a fake strip club DJ, like followed her face.

And she was like, excuse me? And I was like, oh. And then her assistant started laughing at me. And then I demanded to go outside to get a soda. They were like, we'll get you a soda. I'm like, please let me go outside and reset this moment. I hate this. Yeah, you can't have a diva roll her eyes at you.

That'll fuck your confidence up. No matter who you are. No. Jennifer Lopez rolls her eyes at you hurt so much How she looks so good? I don't know what she really did. It's pretty extraordinary It's that thing was it's a person that's in a room and you're like all celebrities here. I could give that off, right? But it's like think of her beauty and then that other lady that you said that did a bunch of shit to her face Probably same age right? Oh,'t that crazy it is crazy then you

know it's awesome that movie by the way a young only one song out Lizzo and everyone was so excited for her and I didn't know she was and they go they were talking about the celebrities are gonna be there today and she's playing a stripper and I was like hmm I'm wondering who it is and then hours later my next question was I'm like who's the big fat stripper wearing the fishnet outfit and they're like that's Liz yeah like that's Liz I was like Christ Almighty what are they making her do that and again it's my own fat insecurity that I put out on other people almost like I said that guy

earlier who's like the robe open there's gotta be guys I'm impressed I'm impressed because what I have is much more which I always found interesting Chris Farley You know, he's most this most famous thing ever is the Chippendale sketch, right with Patrick Swayze I've always thought and I just know this from I'm good friends with his brother and From years of reading stuff about it like that's if you want to trickle back what killed him, it's essentially that. Do you know what I mean? It's like he hated, he was willing to do it, like I'll be the fat, gross guy, but he hated

it. He didn't want everyone to think he was fat and gross. So I have a hard time with those kind of things. So I'm impressed also with someone who's like, ladies, with their fucking fat rolls on their sides, welcome to the party. How do you do it, man? And Lizzo just like, fuck it, I'm wearing a thong. Like, don't, you don't have to.

It's one of those things where it's like, you wanna celebrate people that don't care. Like, yeah, you go. But also, yikes. Yeah. It's also yikes. It's always lies too, by the way. She's lost 100 pounds.

Well, also, remember when she was accused of-shaming all the girls that she worked with and making them Making hookers. Yeah, make it me stripper pussy and shit. Yeah, like whatever whatever was going down whatever she was accused of I don't know what's real but it's like the Chris Farley thing. I never would have imagined that he hated doing that Oh, yeah. No, he loved making people laugh, but he hated that it at the expense. I don't think I'm speaking at a school here, but it never seemed like that stuff did bother him I think. He wanted girls to like him, he wanted, you know what I mean, so that's why he got big into drugs. Are you basing this on conversations you've had with people that know him? Conversations, I've watched so much stuff like on him, yeah, and you could see

like you know they, again it's people reading in this stuff, for sure. But yeah, but I think also from talking to his brother and stuff, real conversations. I met him once when he was in the throes of it. Really? Yeah, there's a couple of people that I met where their skin looked like wet cardboard. Like it was the consistency of wet, like, gray cardboard.

Like sweaty, gray cardboard. Like sweaty gray cardboard. So he was on the set hanging out. There was always like a lot of fun people that were on the set that you got to meet. And he wasn't working on the show. He was just there to hang out. And so I ran into him like during the craft service table area and he was just looked terrible And I don't know like what year did he die? I think late 90s also So this was around 97 ish somewhere around then so news radio was 94 to 99 December week before christmas, that's when he died

33 so it might have been the year he died. Yeah, I mean. He looked like hell. He looked like he was just so sweaty and so gray. He just looked fucked up. The one other time, there was a dude that I ran into at the improv, and he couldn't form sentences. He had the same gray skin skin and he was talking to me

but nothing made sense but he just kept talking and he couldn't form sentences and I was like, this is the craziest thing I've ever seen. It's also weird to get into that and then still be around comedy. Just be around public. You're hanging around with people at a bar and you're so gacked up you can't even form a sentence.

I have a hard time with the, I mean I can, I can get caught up in like the dramatic conversation of like the science of comedy and like all the internal things and the manipulation of it but at the end of the day it's so silly when like it's taken so seriously in some way too. It's not like, you know, unlike Daniel Day-Lewis who has to be Lincoln all day, someone can go, Jay, they're calling your name on stage, and you can go up there, I don't have to find my place, you know what I mean? Oh, I'm not even, oh hang on, okay.

You just go on stage and be like, shit, I didn't know they were calling me, sorry everybody. But also you're doing sets multiple times a night, you're doing multiple sets a week, you're so comfortable with being on stage, it's not like, action! Right. You're Lincoln sets multiple times a night. You're doing multiple sets a week. You're so comfortable with being on stage. It's not like, action! Right. You know, you're Lincoln, go!

Yeah. Four score and seven years ago. And you mess up a line, they gotta go, change the gate. They gotta do a bunch of fucking things. Yeah, and there's always someone who wants to come in and touch up your hair, and then there's fucking people moving around, and there's always so many support people, it's hard to just keep your fucking concentration. some people like being doted on Dan Soder I've always been he likes acting and and not even just acting he

Likes the day he takes the day in the trailer, and he said he'll write jokes and you know do whatever Dude seems like he's always happy. It's hard to imagine him being even angry like he was talking to me about somebody who ripped off one of his jokes and Even that the way he's talking about the guy ripping off his joke and confronting him about ripping off the joke It's still easily silly. Yeah, he's being silly and laughing about it. I'm like, wow No, he's the best great demeanor. So that's like a glass is always half full guy He's he's fine with doing a little acting here. But if you you know, what he wants to do is stand up He's a great no. No, he's great. Stand up and he does want to do step and he wants to make shows

he's got a lot of Interest that I think will be great at all them. I'm just saying more like You know, I'm lose my trade. Well, it's you don't have to do all that other stuff And the thing is like back in the 90s, we all thought we had to do that other stuff I would have never imagined like quitting a TV show and just so I could do stand-up on the road First of all you needed the TV show so people come to see you that was people that was a big thing Back then people came to see you if you were on the Tonight Show or if you had an HBO special or if you had a sitcom like that was that's why I was so so impressive a person like

Like Regan. Yeah, I was just gonna bring him up. It's like you did it straight through comedy, man. Just organic. And got to theaters. Yep, huge theaters. It sells out instantly just because he's so good. You know, it's funny, the quietest, the people who are the most surprising, there's huge earning comics that you've never even heard of and stuff I always look about like Sean de Pierce is a lady

Just like an old lady from the south, but she's Multi-millionaire sells out she performs at like churches and stuff really yeah But it's just stand-up, and it's just like the most mundane It's not for me obviously, but I mean with this Kind of whatever, you know, like act that you know wouldn't impress anybody. She's making millions Christian comedy is a tough sell Yeah, well, but there's a market for it. There is a market for it I remember there was a bunch of people that went into Christian comedy that there was like a Christian comedy tour back in like,

yeah, it was terrible, it was terrible. To want to go to that seems boring. Even if you were religious, like, I don't wanna go watch religious comedy. But it was like the most aw-shuck stupid shit about like the guy's dumb and my wife always tells me I'm dumb and she's right, ha ha ha ha ha. It's why Nate Barghetti's so impressive to me

and always has been is because he's clean in that way. You can call him a Christian comic and it doesn't matter because If you just watch the comedy if you're not listening to all the labels being put on them, right? He's just brilliant Yeah, it's just great. Hello and more than brilliant hilarious fucking hilarious hilarious and squeaky clean Yeah, and you throw them on anywhere in a lineup Yeah, I said Gary Goldman was so impressive in that way too. Just didn't have to be dirty like almost like Subjects you were someone said the right joke about this subject. You're like, nah, that's corny. Well gaffer and then they do it and kill it Yeah, he's great. Gaffigan's been killing it forever squeaky clean, you know, there's you know, there's a market like again

But everyone shouldn't be that right. That's the Hannah Gatsby Argument she made this that's the really Whatever my opinions about our comedy are meaningless it was an article she did where she was like if you're not using your comedy to like move society forward in some way yeah like you're wasting time basically like you like you need to come and talk about your rape or you're wasting time doing comedy and it's like or do I even see not being personal I go so you saying like David Tell, Brian Regan, Carrot Top, you saying people just shouldn't be in comedy because they're a different

Like faction of it than you that's insane. It's insane and God forbid if everybody started doing Hannah Gatsby style quality She's fucked. She's not gonna be the best at it. You know, I mean, right? It's like why you welcome it It's like why don't you stay keep your lane and be happy with everything about comedy like You should be funny first. If you want to do all that other stuff too, but if you want to do all that other stuff and you call it comedy, but it's not funny. Like you're doing something where you're just trying

to educate people, hey, you missed the whole mark of this whole thing and to say that that's the most important thing, the only people that would say that are people who aren't funny. That's it. That's the only people that would ever think that the most important thing. The only people that would say that are people who aren't funny. That's it. That's the only people that would ever think that the most important thing is to move social justice forward with your comedy. If somebody told me I made them think on stage, I'd go, about what? About what?

Listen, you could be as social justice-y as you want. You could talk to your phone. You could make long rants on Reels. You could do podcasts. You could do whatever you want. Talk about issues. But when you're on stage, what you're supposed to be doing is be funny now if you can be funny with some sort of grand Message that makes everybody Bill Hicks clap at you great

That's great But that's not the goal the goal is to just be funny and if that's your goal you want to be funny with a social justice Great nothing wrong with it, but you got to be funny and can't like fake it and get claptor and think you're anything I would even say with passion on stage I could end just as easily by going or not you know or maybe I'm completely wrong I don't know definitely how the fuck would I know remember guys would do this when they were bombing hey how about a nice round of applause for the ladies how many yeah at the in the black comedy circuit,

it was, those were the funniest, how many they would give, he goes, how about for the ladies? He goes, how about for a brother doing the right thing, staying out of jail, doing the right thing, trying to do the right thing? Yeah, they'd get a collapse, yes, yes, and then it was positive energy.

The show was going your way. But we all used some crutch in that. I went, I think, so, not just because I was obviously inspired by the dices and stuff for the comics that I like, the dirtier guys, but I would go dirty because I found out I think, so, not just because I was obviously inspired by the Dices and stuff with the comics that I like, the dirtier guys, but I would go dirty because I found out pretty early, if you go dirty, even if you don't get the laugh,

because the joke wasn't good, you're gonna get the groan and it was a noise. Because that was it to me, again, I said the silence was the thing. Once it was silent, I was like, someone please save me from this, it's going so bad. Yeah, if you get a few, oh God. Yeah, at least you're're like either with me you can kind of you can kind of laugh that off yourself Yeah, and then if you're laughing genuinely, maybe these people will start smiling

Yeah, it's a fucking weird art form dude it but You know Kudos to you for just doing that because that's the way to do it and then Legion of skanks too like what with Lewis and you guys and Dave What you guys have done is so interesting because you did it all without ever worrying about being like removed from YouTube You know because he did it all on his network sure ass digital I mean started gas digital essentially for Legion of skanks more or less so smart and it would have like a platform They really can't get rid of yeah, cuz it limits your reach a little bit But over time people figure it out. That's why skankfest is so fucking huge

Skankfest is nuts. Dude. It's fun. It's been created New Orleans this year. I should have got in when I could have done it Now it seems like I don't I just I don't there's too many people There's a lot of people for sure I don't there's too many people again. There's a lot of people for sure, but it's amazing How like you'd have a blast it's such a celebration of people just being stupid and having fun Absolutely, and it's no like, you know pretense now and I said they all look the part but they're such great comedy fans And by the way, also, I mean that in the sense that there's been so many people who have been like Skankfist is my thing. I'm like, dude, they're gonna fuckin' lose their minds for you.

It's like they're comedy fans. They're not just like our fans exclusively. They're also fans of people that are willing to do real comedy in this fuckin' bizarre world where you're being told that the most important thing is for you to do social justice on stage. Which I shouldn't say that's the world now, because it's not.

It was the world like four years ago. Four years ago you heard that a lot Oh, yeah, and that's kind of died off and there was a bunch of things that killed that but I think the real nail In the coffin the final one was the Tom Brady roast Yeah, I think that was the grand nail in the cop the coffin of woke comedy Well, all you had to show people was that there was like if you stick with something for a minute Like there is an audience there. You're just listening to a bunch of lunatics screaming with nothing to do with their lives. It's like, but if you give it a second, like conversely, of much people who are writing,

they're angry about this, there's a bazillion people who just like it. Yeah, you can't cater to the people that are upset at what popular thing there is out there. Can you imagine writing a letter to ACDC? Like this last record sucked. First second song's okay but third song blows and the fourth one's like. That's the fuck you you're not funny person in the crowd. There's always going to be a percentage of them. It's an unavoidable aspect of human nature.

There's a bunch of people that don't do anything, can't contribute and want to knock down everything they see in front of them. There's a bunch of people that were born with amazing genetics that just have this superiority over everybody that they believe is real and they you know especially if you're pretty and everybody wants to fuck you and you think you could yell at anything at the guy on stage. Yeah. Maybe you hate men because your ex-boyfriend's a piece of shit and you've had a couple of cocktails and fuck him and fuck this guy. Don't fucking say women can't do it. I can take a day Breakdown

Just the funniest so I'm gonna break down your bit Well, that's the best I had a lady heckle me once where I was trying to explain I was doing this bit about I had a bit about the the guy who broke into the White House because this guy Some fucking maniac broke into the White House He just hopped the fence ran across the lawn and in and there was a lady guarding the front door. And he smacked her to the ground and just ran through. And he got tackled by an off-duty Secret Service guy. It was like getting a cup of coffee and sees this fucking guy running through the White House and he tackles him. And the joke was about a woman being a security guard at the White House.

And the joke was supposed to be I know because guess what I shouldn't be a security guard at the White House I go and you know I know because I met Shaquille O'Neal and his dick is where my face is like if the White House is spearing seeing his shak attack I'm the wrong dude to save the world you know shit so that the whole joke was about that and I couldn't get it out because this lady's like bullshit bullshit like so the joke was women can't do everything men can do because men can't do everything men can do. That's why we have the Olympics.

There's some people that can just do shit that regular people can't do. And one of those things is guarding the fucking White House. Like you should be a big fucking giant dude who's capable of extreme violence. But this bitch wouldn't let me get this out. She's like, nah, nah, nah. And I try to explain her, this is how the joke goes.

And then I went further into the joke and she chimed in again. I explained the joke and then she was, she was like, okay, I'm like, yeah, I'm saying I can't do it. I've gone hard at female cops so much. It's so great when I meet female cops, they're like, they usually have great sense of humor is about it, quite honestly, but I will film and send to like sodas who all do it too. I watch cops still a lot, like clips of the show cops and there was one I watched

recently that was just about the female cop. Whenever it's a female cop I'm like I get my phone ready in case I have to film this because I go it's always gonna be something hilarious and they're always in the way somehow or something and it's they're trying to stop this guy you know he's on foot black dude and this lady's like let me see your ID let me see your ID right now and the guy's just slowly backing away and they just decides to go start running and he runs and this girl is chasing this black guy is so far away from her it's ridiculous and then just coming zipping right past her is a dude cop

who just catches the guy and tackles him and this the rest of times her standing over breathing hard she's like son of a bitch got away and she's like lady what are you doing what are you doing I saw one time I was waiting outside of a doctor's office in New York and I saw a guy who was naked with his hospital gown on the floor next to him this isn't outside of a hospital by the way just doctor a doctor's office. This guy left the hospital, clearly. He's naked, still has his bracelet on, he's flapping his dick around. So I call the cops and I go, hey I think there's a guy I've got out of a hospital here, he's naked and he seems pretty unruly, he's like screaming shit, he's being kind of weird. And they go, will you stay on the

phone with us and let me know when the officers get there? I go sure and then a big NYPD van pulls up and two tiny little ladies get out and I started laughing on the phone and I'm like yo I don't think these these ones are gonna be able to handle you moment to send somebody else and they go why I go Cuz it's like two tiny ladies miss and I'm like and this guy's like I'm gonna have to get involved now And I don't want to and then the guy stood up and he's walking towards them and the ladies are like, first of all, already touching their guns, which is like, again, not really necessarily, the guy's naked,

he doesn't have a weapon, but it's just they're so tiny, like how many options do they have if he goes at them, right? That's the thing, if you're a small woman and a naked guy is coming your way and you don't know how to fight and you have a gun, you're grabbing your gun. And the guy just went up to them and just stood about Seven feet in front of them and started pissing at their feet

And then and then finally another cop car came with a guy who just I mean got out of the car right away grabbed him by the arms, you know, I mean put his arms behind his back and they put the This thing back over him his gown back on him, but it was just like I had a pee He didn't couldn't find his clothes. But it's just so wild that I'm like, why are these two a team at all? Yeah, I mean, I would like to say that women could do everything men can do.

But I think in that circumstance, you'd probably want a big man. Field police work? That's crazy. You're dealing, one of the scariest videos that I ever saw was this guy. This lady pulled him over on the highway You deal with big- You deal with big- You deal with big- You deal with big- You deal with big- You deal with big- You deal with big- You deal with big-

You deal with big- You deal with big- You deal with big- You deal with big- You deal with big- You deal with big- You deal with big- You deal with big-

You deal with big- You deal with big- You deal with big- You deal with big- You deal with big- You deal with big- You deal with big- You deal with big-

You deal with big- You deal with big- You deal with big- You deal with big- You deal with big- You deal with big- You deal with big- You deal with big- You deal with big- You deal with big- You deal with big- Daddy stop because he's just beating the shit. Oh, yeah. Yeah unconscious lady. It's so scary It's so scary because this there's no way she should have been in that situation There's no way a chubby female cop to boot is the funniest to you like what is happening all the time

What is the problem they're gonna solve all the time, but they're in the way like I was at a casino once and This person who I thought Air quotes was a woman and I was talking to it was a security guard like five foot five like shorter than me Security guard woman. I thought thought was a woman It wasn't disturbed by the fact that she was a security guard none of it, but then at the end of the night I had been talking to these people, the show was over, and I was like,

well ladies, it was really nice to meet you. And she says, actually, I'm a man. And she says it with a woman's voice. And I'm like, stuck. I probably had a couple cocktails, just did a show. And I probably gotta go, nah. For sure? What? So I show and I'm probably gonna Are you you for sure? Like what so I said, I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it. I didn't know I gave her hug hugged everybody

I was I felt proud of myself that I didn't say something should not check there. I was just like you know not check It's just like you definitely you're not but you know whatever like to think that I should have known like that's crazy and I had something you identify as a man I had something turn on me so bad with that at a not even a mustache at a diner it was me Josh Adam Myers and my girlfriend went to a concert and went to a diner afterwards and where they sat us this diner, our table, was facing the booths that are going across. And the booth right across from where I'm staring is a cute girl and what I thought was a goth guy. I thought it was like a goth dude.

He was wearing like kind of fishnet stuff and everything. And they are making out hard, like going. They're going for it. And I'm like, you know, we're kinda like laughing it off almost at first, you know, like, all right. I guess like they're going, but then it starts getting like, they're like, she's like getting in a position,

the girl, the only girl I thought, is like the goth guy, he's rubbing like her pussy over the pants and she's like writhing around and stuff. And it's going on, then they stop. In a diner? Yeah, then they stop, then they start again. It's a point where I go, laughingly though too,

I kinda go, ah, come on. And they're like, they have like an oh my God, what the fuck is wrong with you thing. Now there's people, they're in a booth and we're the only people who see them. We're facing them. These booths are other people people but they're just not Paying attention what's going on there? I'm just having to look at it. I'm like, all right, and they're like, what's the problem?

And I'm still just kind of laughingly going like I get it but like, you know, I'm doing like a Guy I'm like you're fucking at the table. I mean like it's crazy We're in a diner and it's getting shitty about it. And then I'm just like, I don't know what the problems I'm like that's crazy what you're doing and everything and I'm like we're not wrong here And then she was and then she goes would you have a problem if we were a straight couple? And I was like I thought that was I thought that was a guy I said I didn't know it wasn't a straight couple and then Whatever it all kind of calms down and then our foods coming coming, which is weird, we still have to sit there.

And I go, yeah, I'm gonna go outside and smoke a cigarette and regroup here a little bit. Biggest mistake I ever made. Because I went outside, and it's like a big glass front diner, and I'm smoking right outside the diner, and I'm watching the narrative get created in the room without me being in the room.

The people behind and the staff coming up and being like, we're sorry, things, people have to still act like that. People still act like that today. And when I go back in to eat, I mean, we are pariahs, I just feel like. And then the host guy who like, you know, seats everybody as gay and he's side,

it just, it was so uncomfortable. And I was like, we didn't do anything. No, there's nothing to explain It was kind of awkwardly give us our food and I'm like you guys are mad somehow me How much spit do you think you ate? Oh so much so much spit shitty food Then I told that story on my radio show was funny and somebody like messaged like the Yelp or whatever the thing and they were like that guy was Being transphobic and we are this is a welcoming restaurant who allows anybody in it's like this how is this the narrative of what happened they got you they got me they got you completely created around me i wouldn't

have cared if it was trans i thought it was a straight couple fucking in a diner booth that i wanted to stop yeah people are good at spinning a tail. If, and by the way I said, it's always the in-betweens too, in full disclosure. If the guy had her, what I thought was the guy, had that girl's shorts to the side and I was watching him finger, I wouldn't have said a word. I would have just sat there and just drank it all in. Interesting.

It was just- So it wasn't going hard enough. It wasn't soft enough or hard enough. It was Goldilocks right in the middle And I don't want to see I don't want to see you guys dry hump while I'm eating either Finger where we could all see or fucking take it down the road It's hilarious that they put that put transphobia on I mean thought it was a guy the whole diner when we went back in Was like these intolerant people go. I don't care if that's a girl. It means nothing to me. They didn't see it

Also, maybe if they announced it was a girl out of the gates, I might not say anything either. Just two chicks going at it. I'm like, look at these two wild motherfuckers. Right, you just thought it was crazy that it was a dude doing that. Yeah. That's funny.

Isn't that funny? That's weird. It's weird how we look at that. Oh yeah, but I said you get wrapped up in a thing and you're like, you're transphobic. That has nothing to do with any of this. It's weird how we look at that. Oh yeah, but I said you get wrapped up in a thing and you're like, you're transphobic. That has nothing to do with any of this. It's a problem because that label, you can just slap on someone and you're talking about like male athletes that identify as women competing in girl sports.

Like, that's not transphobic. We're talking about something crazy. Can I be trans-weirdic? Is that a term? Just be like, I think that's weird that there's a six foot seven woman beating up an actual woman in a ring. There was some lady who was just arguing that there's no biological difference between men and women. I'm gonna send you this Jamie, because it's so kooky. Doctor Who.

You can't really think that this is true. No biological difference? There's no difference between men and women's strength. Pennsylvania State Senator said there's no biological advantage for men in women's sports, or disadvantage for women in men's sports. This is. That's a woman?

A woman said this. This is so crazy. I'll just send it to you, Jamie. It's so kooky. You're like, come on. Look, I know you wanna believe this, so kooky you like come on look I know you want to believe this but if you're going to be on TV saying things it has to make some kind of fucking sense female bodies are just as strong as fast and capable as male bodies

I want all girls to know that there are elected officials like me who would never underestimate your ability to be a boy at their own sport. Because that's what the premise of this bill assumes, that female bodies are less than male bodies. For what reason, other than political gain, are we spending time and taxpayer dollars on a completely made up issue? Female bodies are just a story Well, she just got caught up in the woke bullshit She lives in an echo chamber probably all the people around her are all either in Academia or in some sort of left-wing fucking ideology and they really believe that and they believe that you should say that Because if you're saying if you're not saying then you're saying women are less

than men that's not what anybody's saying strength and speed and athleticism is not all of life well you made the point there's men that are less than men in different areas yeah of course coders they're out there like you know they're incels they're online they're they're making apps you know there's a lot of different roles for people in this like it doesn't make you a man just because you can run faster than everybody else. But to say that men can't run faster than women is just, you're denying statistics and science and all the information that we have gathered forever. We have so much data.

High school 15-year-old boys beat the women's soccer team the professional team so shut the fuck up this is stupid to say this is stupid to say it's not transphobic homophobic it's not gender phobic it's not misogynistic it's just a fact of physical nature also if you if you hit the pinnacle the fights over do you know I mean if you go like women's sports is highly attended, it's given the same amount of TV time as men's sport and everything, it's like, yeah, not enough. Not really.

Like now I wanna be in men's sports also. The craziest one when the WNBA players want as much money as the NBA players. The NBA actually generates extreme amounts of revenue. If the W, somebody wrote a joke about it, the WNBA wanted what their just pay was and so they they owe 400 million dollars Because that's really what how it balances out. It's like a losing van. It's never been profitable. Do you know what those? with those things but like a lot again like

It's like you're helping the one to hurt the many in so many things too. It's just like the video Shane showed me this years ago, the blind kid playing football. It's like a little boy playing popcorn or football and he's blind. And I'm like, who is this for? Like, you know, it's like- Where is your dad?

Why is he letting you do that? Who is this for? Is it Daredevil? And the kid gives a speech in the video, he gives a speech and he goes, he goes, a lot of people say blind people can't play football and you're like, yeah, everybody everybody and you've never seen this video this is maybe my favorite video on the internet blind football Jamie if you could this

is it's 30 second video the song they pick for this is the is the greatest thing in the world so here's the thing about like the WNBA if you love the WNBA that's great there's a certain amount of people that about the WNBA. If you love the WNBA, that's great. There's a certain amount of people that love the WNBA. It's great that women have an avenue for professional sports, but you only get paid as much as people are willing to go to see you. And if they're not willing to go see you, I'm sorry. Because they want to see dunks.

This kid's blind. It's that kind of confidence that continues to amaze people who watch Dylan play. Oh, this is so crazy. Oh, this is so crazy. I can't see, and a lot of people think that a blind person can't play football. But this courageous youngster has proven those people wrong. On the show, What the fuck is going on? wrong. You can't play football by smell? That's impossible. But it's against like what you're actually doing is making this game not fun for anybody else out

there. Right. You can't hit the blind kid. No one's gonna hit the blind kid and if you do you're a dick. You're just running around so you have one less player for real. Yeah. It's just like your team has decided to be on a handicap so you can get on the news we used to play basketball on a story every Wednesday and Nate Barghast he one time brought his friend Nick Novicki Who's a little person comedian and he brought him and we were like, oh, he's gonna play like, all right I guess and we let him play and every time you get the ball The defense would lay off him and let him shoot,

and he'd make it or miss it, but it was what it was. And then he started, when everyone would lay off on defense, instead of shooting the ball, he'd try to run in, do a layup, and we're letting him. Until eventually Nate Bargatzee of all people goes over and just cleaned his shot right into the projects. He just sent him away, he's like, we can't just let this happen the whole time. It becomes not fun for everybody. It was a there was a when I was a kid I

remember very few stories but there was a handful of like the girl that fought to get on the men's football team. Yeah. Football is such a violent sport that to let girls play it they have to put them in lingerie. The the lingerie football league is the only is the only visible women playing football sport I don't know but I wanted to start taking like bets on it that was the thing right at one point in time oh yeah and they hit hard they hit hard never saw roller derby there's also buns in basketball where they have more Billy obese black chicks wear thongs and play basketball I haven't seen it oh but roller derby's like let's buy a team like a really hardcore lesbian type activity, right? Oh, yeah

I would imagine I would assume yeah, yeah really get the bang in the chair core Dykebar girls with fucking weird tattoos and there's some element of wrestling to it also. It's like not fully real very aggressive They slam into each other Real very aggressive They slam into each other Lingerie football if you look up lingerie footballs biggest hits it's nuts What they've done but they I saw that they made a deal for something to air on ESPN to this year This is like a women's tackle football league. Oh really championship game from last win. These are chicks. Yeah, come on go back That was a hell of a play

Whoa, that's nuts. 34 yard pass caught it. Oh my god, that's nuts. 34 yard pass, caught it. What? Oh my God, that's crazy. Dude, they look pretty good. Yeah. This looks better than WNBA. Maybe they found it. Maybe women's tackle football is what's up.

Because you're going to see a lot of tackles. Oh yeah. Yeah, I don't know if they get jacked up like they do in the NFL or anything. Well, how do they have to? They're running into each other Well, here's what's funny about this these hits are pretty good, but they're wearing actual football pads lingerie football's biggest hits Are they're wearing the shoulders? Yeah, they're wearing shoulder pads and lingerie. They look like the fucking like the Legion of Doom They fucking used to come on They whale each other did it really I mean crazy

Well, the titties never come out that's great. They must have the things trapped down. That's an ouch ouch It's like these pileups are crazy and staff infection is I'm seeing a lot of staff happen in the future of these ladies. I mean they blast each other into the side It's scratched up bad. You're gonna get staff for sure They blast each other into the side. It's scratched up bad. You're gonna get staff for sure Well, I will say the but the fact you get 22 girls on a field who are not fighting the idea of like Oh, so we just got to dress like sluts to play football. They just go now. We're just like that's a play football. Fuck it Why are they shamed? And buns and bad if you find buns and basketball we should buy a franchise dude. I'll go have these with you

My god there is a couple of BBLs actually see if you could find the buns and basketball leg break There's a girl who fucking oh, she's a Paul George like fucking a leg because she's just fat and she's falls under the weight of her dribbling How bad is it? Look, it's pretty gnarly. It's not the worst I've ever seen It's not Tom Sager his arm bad, but it's close. That was bad. I was so bad It's cuz when he pulls it back and it's flopped. It's the it's the Anderson Silva retracting the flopped leg, you know His arm still is fucked Yeah, it's still not 100% Oh, I'd have to assume it's still fucked up. He had a bunch of nerve surgeries and shit

Yeah, that was gnarly dude If it just imagine if I was playing defense Going for a layup No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yep. Oh It just snaps For buns and basketball of all things oh It just snapped oh my god. Hey, I can tell it's gonna rain tomorrow. How do you know that old buns and basketball injury? Bro, those are bad injuries the femurs are real bad one because you got to get blood flow to it

Sometimes it takes a long time sometimes. It doesn't fully heal. Yeah, I know a couple be a little broken femurs Sometimes it doesn't fully heal. I know a couple of you with broken femurs. That's the most painful one. Yeah, I know a dude, Frank Mir, he was a UFC champion. He got hit by a car when he was on his motorcycle, and he got thrown through the air. And he was a giant fucking dude. He came back too. It took a long time for him to really back back.

It took well over a year and a half, two years, before he's really performing at the same level I mean you'd have to ask him then he came out fought Brock right he was like the right away he fought Brock he kneebarred him yeah that was all after the accident yeah man UFC really has straightened out your belief in other people from other sports saying like I can come do you mix martial. Very few could ever pull it off, but Brock pulled it off. I mean, the funniest one for me was, again, just that blind belief I had in Kimbo Slice. I don't know why I didn't think that Roy Nelson

would just hold him on the ground and mush his face until a referee was like, hey, leave him alone. That's crazy. Well, Kimbo. He's a tough motherfucker, obviously. If he was fighting just stand-up only He's very dangerous like yeah, he was involved in like if bare-knuckle boxing was around back then He would have been a huge star of bare-knuckle box

He would have fucked a lot of people up bare-knuckle boxing But once you add in the wrestling and Kimbo had a bunch of knee injuries from football and you know It's you can't really grapple at full capacity with knee injuries and learn grappling at 35 or however old he was yeah, but dude kudos to that guy for having the courage to actually just get into the UFC ultimate fighter that's crazy with very little grappling against Roy Nelson was a jujitsu black belt Hens oh Gracie black belt like Roy Nelson's fucking legit on the ground. He was great, big country. He was so fun.

He was so heavy too, big old belly. He knows how to hold people down. And he was like, he would shut up Burger King, he'd go to Burger King after the fights and stuff. He also could fucking punch, dude. That guy could punch. He had one of some of the craziest one-punch knockouts ever. What is that, does that career amount to,

is he sitting on money now? Like a guy like that or is he like? I don't know, I haven't talked to Roy in forever. I don't know. He wound up fighting for a bunch of different organizations. You know, when he left the OC, I think he fought for Bellator. But that guy has some crazy highlights.

He knocked out Shaub one shot. He knocked out a lot of people, dude. He'd connect on people, they would go night night. It was nuts, man. He knocked out Nick Treone. He knocked out a lot of fucking big tough dudes. When anybody comes to Shob, I'm always like, it's not even the wins he's had more than I'm like,

this guy's not afraid of you. Right? Like he's been punched by the best. I promise you, whatever you think he thinks you could do to him It's not as bad as that. He's been beaten up by world champions, and he's knocked out world champ He knocked out Mirko cro Cop which is crazy like Mirko crow back in the day was the fucking man sure He was like the robot elite kickboxer to really excel in MMA He was the first guy to show all these other strikers that you don't even know what you're talking about.

When he started fighting in Pride, it was like, this is another level. He would kick people in the body, and you would see, like, there's a photo of him kicking Heath Herrig, and his fucking shin is halfway into his rib cage. It's so nasty when you look at the photo of it. You just go, the amount of power that

that guy could generate in his kicks. Like there was nobody like that before him in kickboxing or in MMA rather. I felt so bad. The first that first UFC coming back during quarantine was so important everybody. I don't know if it was the first one or the second one that came out. But that was when I was like, man, you got to really pick your timing and when you're going to shout out what you're dedicating a fight to because there's that poor guy, but that was when I was like, man, you gotta really pick your timing and when you're gonna shout out what you're dedicating a fight to. Because there's that poor guy, he lost his stepdaughter, and then he came out wearing the shirt

of the stepdaughter who passed away, and it was all dedicated to her. I mean, you can see as Aleister Overeem beat him into submission with punches, the referee was even kinda going like, come on man, Please try to fight back I said the analyst roveream should have been like it's okay everybody. I was also fighting for his stepdaughter like yeah I mean, but to shout that out like it's before yeah, it's great on YouTube those are great YouTube compilations

The cocky fighter comes the ring to get to lose Oh, there's always like the guy pushes the guy at the weigh-ins and starts shit at the wins and gets knocked unconscious there was one a guy came in the UFC cage I forget what was but the way he entered the ring like he did a thing where he hung on the outside of the cage and like swung into the ring mm-hmm and did some crazy like move and then just it was like an immediate knockout just like a 30-seconder well it's like you planning to talk to JLo. You just gotta let things happen Can't play can't play things happen the inauthenticity of your planning will come to haunt you

Yeah, also the shit you talk through life is also in broadcasting as you start to get guests sort of starts to haunt you It's like the thing like Howard Stern had to make a gazillion apologies I assume by the time he the the guests he got on because we've done it. Man we fucked up so bad. We came in one day we saw Brett Michaels in the fishbowl. It was when me and Soda were doing the show still. The fishbowl? Of a series XM it's like there's a studio that you could see into right in the front there where they do performances and stuff. Okay. And we were up in the in the fishbowl one time we saw Brett Michaels when we came and talking to somebody and then we go on air and almost like for the bit We're like, how do we never get offered these guys?

There's always like celebrities here and they weren't even brought to us as we can get them That's so fucking crazy. I go right now as we speak Brett Michaels is out there and then we said something about like Like his bandana being attached to his hair And like and I think Soder said like they lower his His bandana and hair onto him like Darth Vader And then they come back and they go he said he's willing to come in Then he comes in and he's lovely this guy was making future promises with us of what stuff he wants to do with us and hang out and come be a part of his

Summer festival and broadcast from there because he loves us so much but his manager was listening the whole time and he said as soon as he left the studio they went those guys are not your friends shit he's got to understand they didn't know you that's what it is I've been they know you Corey it's Corey Feldman hates my guts, and it's like would you do well? I've never non-stop talking about him Yeah, yeah, we've never done. Oh, yeah, you hate on his dancing. Yeah, maybe it's getting better We're not even hating on it at all. I love it. I want to do nothing different

And I wish they tried he tried to have us not allowed at his show and he opened for Limp Bizkit Not allowed yeah, and this head of security was a fan. He came over to me and Bobby Kelly and he was like, yeah, he goes, he was asking if you guys were coming. I said yes. Then he asked if he could know where you were, then he asked if we could not let you in and I was like, well, they're not doing anything,

not threatening you or anything. They're coming to watch a show. And he was like, well, can I at least know where they're sitting at? And he goes, it'll be wherever the most excited people are. And son of a bitch, where are we? I mean, we were a sprout of grass on a dirt field of people. I mean we were the only ones, we were hyped. I know all the words. He's the best. But that was the genius of Howard Stern that I fucked up when I started getting into broadcasting. I broadcasted always

like it was going to be me talking to a friend or friends shooting the shit right not you're gonna come across these people so I would have played more What Howard Stern was always great at is like take the lunatic, but he's always gonna be like no I you're great Dude, you're the best and let the world make the joke right instead like I go at but I was like man I would have loved to just have Cory Feldman come in bi-monthly to do hey you got a new song play it, dude I'll bite my fucking finger while I Poor thing the thing about Cory that really does bother me like legit. We're so happy This is him let me hear this Oh

He yells at his fans, it's a weird The guitar solo He doesn't know how to play the guitar. That's so crazy. He just does a solo How can you do a guitar solo if you don't know how to play a guitar? Does he actually not know how to play a guitar? Like do you know how to play no no no, but you don't have to know how to play to know He does not know how to play I could do what he's doing for sure, but then here's what he did You know I don't know what the trickle back is, but I said after that was going viral the guitar I was like why doesn't this guy just come out and say like

Like if he's kind of like no, I get it. I get the joke too Like then it kind of like puts people in there and stops them in their tracks and then he kind of did that He came he goes, of course, it's the worst guitar solo ever. Of course, that's why I'm doing it Like it's funny and it's like now and Fred Durst came out to watch him do it to prove He was doing it because we're spread Durst is smart like Howard Stern He makes him think he's his friend, but he's a way bigger enemy than I could ever be to him. Because he's going like,

dude, go make an ass of yourself in front of all these people. He's a young star guy that grew up to become a man, and they're all weird. There's no way you could be a star at six years old and come out normal. You don't have a normal life It's impossible. Is there nobody I don't think there's one everyone that I've met

I mean, there's some really talented people like Miley Cyrus and people that were Childhood stars that are cool to talk to and but they struggle. It's a struggle. All of them struggle everybody struggles like punky Brewster is probably fine right now. I don't know Punky Brewster you don't remember so Leo moon is. Punky Brewster? You don't remember that show? I don't remember. So Leo Moon Fry. She had the biggest titties when we were kids. Oh, yeah, that's right. She made a great documentary a few years back.

No, that's right. But didn't she became like a mom and got out of the business? Yeah, you can do that. But if you want to still try it, if you're still clamoring for the fame. Yeah. But I don't know how many people came out of the fame as a young person and were fine. But the people that stay and keep doing it. They're not fine most of them. I mean, maybe there's a few

I mean, I'm not saying it's impossible to do but I'm saying the challenge of becoming a normal person With like a normal view of the world when you know, you're getting doted on when you're six And you're the moneymaker in the house when you're a little kid like your parents're six. And you're the money maker in the house when you're a little kid, like your parents stop working to manage you, like that kind of shit. I like those Carter kids. I mean, that's brutal.

That Aaron Carter kid was lost. He was doing gay porn at the end. Not gay porn, but like gay cam stuff. Oh really? Yeah. Just whacking off on camera with face tattoos. Didn't they have like a boxing match against Lamar Odom? It's supposed to.

I don't know if it ever ended up happening. I think they did. I think they did. And it's so crazy, because he's like this skinny guy with not a muscle on his body. And Lamar Odom used to play for the NBA. Isn't that true? They did have it, yeah.

It did happen? Yeah, Lamar just beats the brakes off him. I mean, you have to assume. He's a former professional athlete. The fact that, and Chuck Liddell is the fucking, look at the size difference. This is so crazy. Look at him.

He's trying to punch him. Aaron Carter's, he's letting him hit him. He's just kind of, he touches him once. He's like letting him hit him. Oh man. It's sad to watch. It's almost like, it looked like, oh, there you hit him with a left hand.

What's really sad about it is people is, it's not just people watching you fight that wigs me out so much. It's that there's something that knowing how to fight and the form of what you're doing looking any kind of good, especially if you're fight, street fights, I mean, when they devolve into like, you know, like men swinging like this

You're like, oh man, we really all suck at the end of the day at this like it's so hard to keep like a fighter's composure Shits going down. Yeah, unless you do it all the time I remember watching these two guys fight in front of the Comedy Store and It was it was across the street when the House of Blues was over there So it was right in front in the parking lot. These guys start yelling at each other and blah, blah, blah. And they get out like almost in traffic.

They're like on the sidewalk, like right where the street tumbles out. And I see these two guys facing off and I see the white guy. There's like a white guy and this looks like an out-of-shape African-American fella and the white guy starts swinging with it almost like with his eyes closed and then the bus goes in between them so I can't see them and then as the bus goes back the white guy's out cold, flat on his back, spread eagle and the black guys already running away He's out cold. They were just squabbling in front and I don't remember how it was. I just remember this I remember this and then the bus and then Out cold do you have to deal with because I mean I know from like when Lewis was working with biz Bing and stuff

And he'd go to Vegas He'd be like they were all surprised at how many drunk guys at the casino try to like give him shit Oh, there's a bunch of people come to you all the time. It's like, you know, you know karate for real dude I think no if you hang out with enough drunks long enough someone will just avoid those areas Yeah, it's just is drunk people. But if you're one of them and you're hanging out you're drinking with people Yeah, there's a bunch these people used to get stupid with chocolate Dell and chocolate Dell was the light heavyweight champion He was the scariest fucking human on the planet and people would get stupid with him. They're on coke. They don't know what they're doing They're out of the fucking mind. You could win that fight. People are probably kept fucked up. They're all they're crazy. Anyway, they're schizophrenic

People are there's so many nuts out there in this world. The most thing about fighting too is endurance. That's what most people don't have in any kind of fight. If it's not over in 30 seconds, everyone's holding each other. One of my favorite things I watch, I watch a lot of like body cam crime shit on YouTube. And there's one, it's a Key West, it's a couple. The guy's hammered.

He essentially, he's got money for sure this guy, he's just trying to like you know pay his bill with a library card or something or he's like you just know what's going on and he's barking at the staff and then someone on the staff pushes his face and then breaks into this melee but it's you know 50-something year old white people getting into a fight and one guy gets him in a side headlock, useless, and then they both sort of fall down, the husband and this guy who intervenes, and the guy who intervenes eventually puts his legs, puts in his hooks basically, but does nothing.

Doesn't choke the guy out, there's kind of sitting there, two old exhausted guys, 10 minutes later at least they get up and they kind of have like the, you're a pussy, you're a pussy kind of thing, and they leave. Then it cuts back to the cops outside and they want to talk to the guy who intervened. Not mad at him, they just want to get his side of the story of what happened. And this guy is just an old man and the cops are questioning him and they start to lose their patience because he just wants to keep telling his hero story He just watched what happened. It's just two old men holding each other ground

He goes guy came out of nowhere and punched me and I grew up doing this shit man So, you know, I told the guy I go you got two ways this can go tonight He goes you could you can knock it off for I could beat the fuck out of you Yeah, if you might be able to find we're very classy You can knock it off for I could beat the fuck out of you I'm telling this to the cops Yeah, if you might be able to find we're very classy Body cam we're very classy people Maybe hopefully you could fight it, but it's uh, but we saw him the cup then he goes He's like I told me I could beat the fuck out he goes. All right, so then you were able to like subdue him

He's like yeah, he goes I took him down I'm like he goes I don't want a problem with you and I go you you want no parts of what I'm about to bring to you my man And it's all this none of this happened. You just watched the video where you just grabbed them They felt they flopped on the ground and laid there exhausted for ten minutes while the while the lady screams It's nothing and it's just like just a guy talking with that that belief. Yep. So this is the video. So that's just them getting on the ground and he just puts his... Will we get in trouble? Will we lose the YouTube rights? What happens? Okay don't don't don't give me any volume then. So that's them. You can always fast forwardforward yeah they just stay

there and eventually get up and have like the hands on each other yeah they're up no wait no no no it's right after the video but we're not gonna be able to play it oh you can't play the audio no they'll fucking get us on YouTube. If you're commenting on it, it's commentary. Are you allowed to? It's this guy. Yeah, I probably got punched. Yeah, douchebag jumped out of nowhere, giving shit to the employees and I just said, hey, you mind if I just knock it off right here? Yeah.

Okay, so were you the first one to go ahead and grab him to try and get him water? Well, no, I was probably the first guy. These guys fucked with the waitresses. I said, dude, what are you doing? The guy fucking punched me. I said, dude, you don't want to get into this with me. I grew up doing this shit. I said, don't do it. I drugged him to the ground. I said, you got two options.

You either stop or I'm going to beat the living fuck out of you. Okay. So I said, that's how it's going to go. And he said, I want a problem with you. I said said you want nothing to do with what I'm gonna bring to you Yeah, no, it's right there and he goes ahead there's only one more thing worth the cop cuts him off Yeah right there the cop cuts him off He doesn't want to hear what he says anymore He goes see we're able to get him on the ground goes got him on the ground and I said to me

He's I have you had him on the grounds like stop telling sure I mean the way this guy speaks It's like the Bushido code states that if the weapon is drawn it must taste blood before put away This is hilarious white people fighting. That's what this is hilarious, and it goes nowhere Where no one's going on the ground what's going on? This This is a lie. Oh, yeah now they're on the ground Please like I drug him on the ground really the husband drags him on the ground technically. Yeah, it's a disaster but tell us that my friend Justin silver used to have my favorite joke about a That kind of personality though. He's like he's because I'm a liar because I lie about everything and he was like I'm the guy who like, you know, gets into a situation with somebody in the street

And then I don't do anything and then I go home Shadow box and call my friends and tell them all the things that I wish I did like it actually happened And his line was if I did all the things I told my friends I did my name would be Indiana Bon Jovi Balboa When you're a kid and you You have a situation like that happen the rest of the day you play it in your head like what I should have said Oh, man, yeah, wish I had another chance. I would have said well fuck you because this That's the worst when it goes away. Yeah, internal dialogue things like for the rest of day What should I have said and you like plot it out and plan and scheme? I'll find him again one day one day

I'm gonna tell him. I'll find that asshole that, I've done dumb things though where it's like, I don't even, with no real trained preparation for any of these situations, but like, I always when I, I always had a car. And when you're younger and have a car, it's destroying you financially usually.

Like at how much it costs to have a car and everything. So it means a lot to you, no matter how shitty it is. When when people would fucking hit my car some New York's a big thing with that You know you stop short and a pedestrian just like you know slaps the front of your car something to this day I would get irate by that to this day. I think about one guy I had a little Honda CRX and I was driving in New York and I was making my way to this intersection And I got stuck in New York and I was making my way to this intersection and I got stuck in between lights and then people Started walking and I tried to find like some space where I could not be in the intersection there was a nice gap and so this guy wasn't close to the car, so I started moving forward and he

Waxed my fucking car with a briefcase and I was like I'm gonna pull over. I'm gonna put this guy in the hospital And I was like, I'm gonna pull over. I'm gonna put this guy in the hospital This crazy wild thought like I'm gonna pull over and I'm just gonna go smash this dude I said no just drive just drive just drive and like four years I would think about that guy. Yeah for years this arrogant cocksucker hitting my car with a fucking briefcase I have it's what it's what uh Unites me and Lewis. We both have a crazy need for justice. It's why I like those stupid revenge movies.

It's the thing, it's like the guy who did that thing, I have like a, I bet he won't do that anymore. I bet he won't do that anymore after I've sorted this situation out. But I mean, it's so dumb. It's so dumb. It's a dude thing too. Getting out of the situation out, but I mean it's so dumb like so I mean it's a dude thing to getting out of the car I mean one time so early when I was coming to New York And I had my what became my ex-wife

We were just dating at the time in a car driving a Saturn Guy trying to impress two girls He's with he goes by just like slaps the front of the car and it's state and then they walk into Washington Square Park and I like just stewing in it like I bark some shit out the window no no for seconds I'm stewing in it, and then I pull over with my new girlfriend I go wait here, and she goes what and then I begin to Run after this guy into the park what I'm not thinking about is as I'm running But I finally find this guy on the other side of Washington Square Park. I turn around dude

He could have pushed me over the feather. I was like What's up motherfucker you you want to fucking sap your scars and luckily I I just scared him with my size I guess ultimately or something because like he didn't do anything But I was like as soon as I got there and spun this guy around, I'm like, I'm done. I'm so exhausted from running, I never run. I sprinted to find him without thinking that I'm giving all my energy to that run,

and I'm like, he just, he just, he just, you need like a half hour to recover. He just fucking hit my car, man. And he was luckily apologetic and like, whoa dude, I don't want any trouble. You're like, it's fucking raining, it's fucking raining, I don't want any trouble. Like, it's a rain. It's fucking rain on any trouble

It's a I took ten extra minutes walking back to the car leaving my girlfriend in the car Because I didn't want her to see how heavy I was breathing either We get it all back together and just come back to the car and be like scared that pussy Such a dumb thing to do because you could do it to the wrong guy. I watched this. Of course, my instincts are terrible on it, because I do, I don't get out thinking like, and then as soon as someone pulled out a gun, I'd be like, none of this was worth it.

Guy just slapped my car. Every now and then you'll see someone do something stupid and the person they're doing it to actually knows how to fight. Those are very satisfying. So satisfying. Yeah, there's one with cops. Check out Terrence McKinney, UFC fighter sure put it up on his Instagram page today

So this cop tries a shitty double leg on this guy and the guy knew how to fight and the guy sprawls And the cop tries to hit him and the guy cracks him and the guy tries to tell him hey stop And then the cop that watch this like look at the cop shoots a shitty double nice sprawl Look at this pushes him off. He's got him in a headlock, lets him go, cop punches, bam, drops him with one shot, hits him a couple more times, hits him again, rocks him, the cop is getting rocked. Jesus Christ. And the guy wasn't doing anything, he was just arguing with the cops. I don't know if that was a cop, is that a cop?

It's some kind of like security. Security something, he's got a badge. And he's wearing white gloves too. The gloves are, he gets his dukes up. Like both of them, he had some training, but he massively overestimated his ability. Like look at this shitty double leg. Let me see that, show me that shitty double leg again.

Watch this shitty double leg. Look at that, terrible. No drive at all Scared of the concrete so he's trying to double leg without his knees going to the ground He doesn't want to really drive forward There's a great video of a very in-shape cop and he's going at it with a teenager Who's really talking shit? He's like he's like a wiggery kid doing like a yo man what to take off that badge You know what's up take off that badge take off the vest boy?

You know what's up, and he keeps going to him in the cuffs function like hey you keep balling up your fists man like what are you doing just relax like I'm just what are you doing here I'm just seeing who everybody is you know he's like yeah you know what's up pussy take that vet and he's when he gets in his face one time he just grabs him by the shoulders puts his foot behind I mean places him on the concrete and how fast the kids like, okay? Whoa, we got a little nuts back there, huh? Well kids are fat women getting tasered this mother favorite, I bet that young man was under 25

Oh, no doubt his brain was mush no doubt and that but it's funny when they come to come back and they go I was being crazy back there. That's why they send those young boys out to war Because they're all fucking pissing vinegar? All pissing vinegar with a non-fully deformed brain. Yeah. Non-fully deformed brain. They just fucking take that gun and hear some math. Let's fucking go.

There was a guy in the audience last night. We did story wars at mothership. And there was a guy in the front who wears a brace around his body. We asked him why. He was stabbed in Afghanistan hand-to-hand combat. Oh, Jesus. Because there was a gunfight and it ended up Afghanistan hand-to-hand combat Oh Jesus was a gunfight and ended up being hand-to-hand combat he said he beat he knocked the guy down didn't confirm that he was out and Then we took his attention away. The guy reached up and said stabbed him right in the fucking chest. Basically. It's pretty wild

And we were like and we're looking this guy we go in Afghanistan when he was 18 He did happen when he was 18 he was 18. Wow. I think he said 16 year old was the kid the kid who stabbed him was 16. Jesus Christ. Such a wild thing it's intense. It's a little too intense don't get in fights kids that's our message right. If you can avoid it. Absolutely I've avoided all of them. I tried to I got to know a thing a road rage thing where I knocked a guy out. He wasn't very big and I basically got out of the car and he was right away, didn't want to do anything and I mushed his face.

He was drunk and I kept mushing his face until he would throw a drunken punch and then I hit him and I caught him. Only time I'm in a fight in my life where I caught him first shot and he literally like folded on the ground and then I got my car drove away with my current girlfriend Christine and when we we got Like a few blocks away my you know my adrenaline started going down. I was like and so Jokingly almost I just look at her night. I kissed my bicep like one shot, and she goes uh she goes

She was like really pissed like she didn't think it was funny or anything and I was like but it wasn't even like kind of hot that I just knocked that guy out one shot and she was like no like what if you killed him like his head bounced off the ground what it's all for what and I was like that is a great point I guess it's a real good oh my god what a great fucking point because I mean I'm walking away from that like hey I didn't even get touched and I got sweet beautiful justice You know the way I'm always searching for and she was like now. What have you killed them?

And I'm like yeah, there is a point there. I don't think about that with that guy yourself I'm gonna kill that what if you'd kill somebody yeah for sure yeah You never punch somebody in the face on the concrete if you can Like a good trained fighter probably punching the body yeah, just because they don't want to go to jail forever a good trained fighter probably punching the body. Just because they don't want to go to jail forever. Like Kevin James friends went to jail for like seven years. He was a bouncer at a nightclub in Long Island. Knocked the guy out, the guy falls, hits his head, dies.

Happens. Didn't Harry Houdini get killed from a gut shot? Something like that. Yeah, like a punch to the stomach. He died days later. Because like an organ busted. You never think about that. You want to give everything you got to a face punch and then you're like boy I sure hope I don't

blind him forever these are all things could happen all things that can happen all right Jay I love you to death let's wrap this bitch up can I plug up yeah please do my stuff Mike first half of double crowd work special go them is currently out second half they is coming up 420 all done at the done for comedy work so thank you we're almost a million best fucking clubs on earth that club rules that club is so great it's so good you guys do the same thing everyone's facing forward yep and yonder bags oh yeah I thought about that when I was designing my club I was almost gonna do the seats like she has them when

they're all locked down yeah he's the best shout out to Wendy we love her all right thank you brother thank you bye everybody has them when they're all locked down. Yeah. Wendy's the best. Shout out to Wendy. We love her. All right. Thank you, brother. Thank you. Bye, everybody.