The Joe Rogan Experience - #2306 - Deric Poston

Episode Date: April 17, 2025

Deric Poston is a standup comic and host, along with Ehsan Ahmad, of "The Solid Show." Look for his new Don't Tell Comedy special on YouTube - https://youtu.be/iGW8iZSJxYA?si=XSRAc45AKUJqtZds www.de...ricposton.com Get a free welcome kit with your first subscription of AG1 at drinkag1.com/joerogan Don’t miss out on all the action - Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using dkng.co/rogan or with my promo code ROGAN.  GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit ccpg.org (CT), or visit www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). 1 per new customer. $5+ first-time bet req. Max. $200 issued as non-withdrawable Bonus Bets that expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos. Ends 5/18/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. Trained by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. So we were just looking at the song in the security cameras in the fucking gym with his stupid haircut. He looks so crazy. I'm forever a son. Hilarious dude. One of the best.
Starting point is 00:00:24 One of the best. He's fantastic and getting better, man, all the time. He's a guy who's always working. Nobody writes more new stuff. He writes a lot. That guy puts me on my ass, because we've been best friends for the last 12 years, so I've been watching him this whole time. And since we met, him and Brian Simpson,
Starting point is 00:00:38 they put you to work. Yeah, that's important, because if your friends are slacking, you're like, I can slack off, too. Yeah, or you feel like, oh man, I'm better than my friends, but when your friends are likeacking you like I get slack off to yeah, or you feel like oh man I'm better than my friends, but when your friends are like every time I see him. I'm like dude. I saw you yesterday You have two new bits like and they're good. Yeah, how the fuck but his one of his bits is his fucking hair It's live fucking keeps in current like keep it going keep it going
Starting point is 00:01:03 Shit, and I told you he's getting mad pussy with the hair Shh don't say that. Oh he's single. He's giving the fuck up his pussy. You're right you're right. I heard you say you're getting mad pussy really. I thought we were having a wonderful. There's nothing funnier than when your friends pull you aside to complain about a girl that's like putting the cuffs on them. It's the best. Why don't you do things? Why don't you, I heard the hand cut.
Starting point is 00:01:31 Why don't you cut your hair better so you don't get mad? You take comedy serious, you don't take me serious. Look at his hair. Oh my God. Look at how smooth he looks though. He looks dressed nice. He's headlining the Hoya this weekend with you, right? Yeah, yeah, we're doing it next week, next Thursday.
Starting point is 00:01:48 Oh, next week. Next Thursday, yeah, going back. And then we're doing the Belly Room too, headlining the Belly Room next night. Nice. Fucking La Jolla's one of the best rooms in the world. Yeah, that La Jolla room is fire. If you get it crushing in there, it's a box,
Starting point is 00:02:02 it's a literal box, it's a kill box. And he's cheating with his hair. He's cheating. He's cheating. The I won't say the jokes, but these these hair jokes are just too good. Well, they go people lose their they lose their mind. It's unfortunate because they think he's looks way better with his head shaved. He's a good looking guy. Good. And since you got him in the gym, he's just filled out his back straighter. I love when I come here and you two guys are in the gym and you're by yourselves
Starting point is 00:02:27 No one's pushing you I love it I love it the only thing I cuz that we do every single thing that we did back when we were working out But other than some days that we look at that cold punch. We're like Joe you're fucking I'm down to work out tomorrow if you you guys wanna do it. Of course. All right, let's do it. Hell yeah, we'll get a good old school one in. Yeah, we'll get an old school one. I'll get in the cold one.
Starting point is 00:02:48 If we're all doing it, I need we all to be doing it. So my friend Sean, who trained Alex Jones, is now training Shane. He's gonna start training Shane. I heard about it. He puts him through gauntlets. I told Shane, don't let him kill you. Don't let him kill you.
Starting point is 00:03:02 That's how it makes you back him off a little in the beginning These fucking psychopaths. Yeah, I remember when a son did it with him the first time Sean He got him to do it I couldn't I was out of town with Schultz and a son called me and goes right threw up twice He goes no at the beginning Gotta build up to that kind of stuff. That's the thing like Sean's in great shape, you know and Some you know if you're if you're used to like coaching Navy Seals and you're like
Starting point is 00:03:28 come on pussy we gotta go, you know, like carry the fucking log. Who's gonna carry the boats? That's one thing, but when you're a guy like Shane and you're on a workout on again, off again, on again, off again, like you can't hurt the guy. Like you gotta like start slow. Yeah. like when we when we started working out What we do start slow real slow I mean you were teaching us how to use the kettlebells let alone going super hard at it Whereas now you know me and a son of up their weight because now we've done it so many like Oh, dude, I'm excited for the world. Yeah, but I was gonna tell you this about a son's hair
Starting point is 00:04:02 That's back to it we're seeing him with a security camera go with the fucking do just like a fucking psycho people love it they love it when I never forget this one night I'm working the back door the comedy store and this is when Theo von had just he went from he went from a guy we all knew to he's now Theo von and I'm sitting back there and he pulled in and we're just kind of hanging at the back door and he goes Derek We tell you something man He goes I was getting 2,000 a weekend before this hair since this mullet I get about 40k a weekend and walked off You know what though it's true, but it's not true. So it's true that when the haircut came
Starting point is 00:04:47 He got more money on the weekend, but It's also like the haircut freed him to be theo vaughn Like do you remember when the I remember very clearly the first time I ever saw theo And he was doing a bit about being not even a bit He was telling a story a true story about when he was his when he was young his father was really old Like his father had it when he was like 70. Yes Yeah, something crazy and he said he remembers being on acid lying next to his father. Well and realized his father's just dying You know the main like if you're around someone is like
Starting point is 00:05:24 Really? Oh, yeah They feel like there's no life force in them. Yeah, and they're trapped in their mind away Yeah, yeah, and he's on acid lying next time was like whoa this guy's weird I would have what a weird set and you know he was talking about all kinds of other stuff, too But it was really fun, but it was interesting you know and then I remember seeing him about a year a year and a half later, and I couldn't fucking breathe I was just crying loud my cousin got bit by a gay guy, so We'll see What the fuck are you saying it was it was the timing and the
Starting point is 00:06:02 What the fuck are you saying? It was the timing and the just the materials like all over the place this weird way. I love a guy like that Yeah, I agree. You're right. It wasn't the mullet might have just been the little touch, but he was already Something like that to make you feel different You know like me like some dudes I think like dressing nice on stage because they feel different or Burt likes to take his shirt off Because he feels different Burt could do the same set with a tuxedo on it would be the same fun. Yeah, it would be the same fun This just makes him feel free to take let that fucking gut hang out and show everybody
Starting point is 00:06:40 He's willing to drink himself to death for you show everybody he's willing to drink himself to death for you. Like he's a fucking gladiator, dude. But they love it. But I do get that feeling of like being free on stage and truly, because that does separate yourself too of like, oh, this is how I am. Yeah, you got to learn how to do that some way, right? And some people it's alcohol and some people it's the way they dress and some people it's weed and some people, you know, they have to to run they have to jog before they do a set.
Starting point is 00:07:08 Yeah I remember seeing Eleanor she would do dips you'll catch her in the back of the hall and just she's just cranking out dips and then she goes up but then you see when she's up it's like oh that energy had to just yeah it was just coming out of her. Yeah it's coming out of you know also you want to get your heart rate up a little bit so your body is like and your mind is like things are flowing really good You don't want to be like sleepy and then go on stage, right? That's the worst thing in the world or a full meal Yeah, and go on stage you want to be you want to be up a little I heard Bill Burr say something But he's just one of the greatest ever do it
Starting point is 00:07:40 But it always made me go damn cuz I always felt that way like no I wouldn't eat before meals I'm eating for sure wouldn't eat and then I heard him say once he was like I used to not eat before shows And then I got older and I fucking have a Thanksgiving dinner before show and go up and talk the whole set about how to Thanksgiving dinner and how fucking fat I am and how gross we all are in America And it was just like that freedom of like why he really doesn't give a fuck this guy. He well bill is also Amazing at being Bill. Like, you know, like he has, he has his opinions, what he thinks is stupid about something,
Starting point is 00:08:14 and he's just like locked in. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, there's no, like some comics, like you'll see one of their hours, and it's kinda like one kind of energy, and then the other hour, it's like kind of a different kind and it would, Bill Burr, it's Bill Burr.
Starting point is 00:08:28 I'm Bill Burr, I'm Bill Burr. He knows how to be Bill Burr. He's professionally Bill Burr. You know what I mean? Like a lot of people couldn't even do his material. It would just like, wouldn't work. No, and it would sound like hateful. Like this guy fucking hates the world, dude.
Starting point is 00:08:43 But that's just the magic of becoming you know you Right like there's a few good a tell is the absolute best at it Yeah, a tell has a timing and a presence and then the material the way it's written Like a lot of it on paper you'd be like what is this? I don't understand how would this would be funny, but you see him do it in real life, you're like, oh my God, you're just crying. Yeah, and when the crowd is more ruckus, he's better. He's in on the corniness of some of the stuff too, which makes it even more fun.
Starting point is 00:09:14 It's like there's many layers to it, and some of it is just brilliant observations on things, some of them it is completely ridiculous. It's just all, but it's woven into David Tell. It'll pull out a fucking recorder. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It starts to play the flute. Yeah, it's crazy.
Starting point is 00:09:34 Bro, when we saw him live, I was so fucking impressed. At the mothership, yeah. I remember that. I was so impressed. I was like, that is so good. You know there's another one like that, Colin Quinn. Man, when he was here. Bro, you see him live, you're like, wow, that was so good.
Starting point is 00:09:48 Just so fun. You forget how good he is. Yeah, and then you're learning shit. You're like, I didn't know this. Yeah, he's like a history wizard. I remember we did Tough Crowd once, and Colin used to do stand up to the crowd before the show would start,
Starting point is 00:10:03 before we'd sit down and do Tough Crowd. He was doing the warm up for his own show. Yeah, he was doing the warm up for his own show. This one time. I don't know if he did it all the time, but he was murdering. Murdering. And I was watching this, I was like, people don't know how good he is. This is crazy.
Starting point is 00:10:18 Because there's some guys that warm up for their show, and it's like a monologue, they're doing a few jokes. It's like, it's okay. It's okay And I'm not in it. I'm not really feeling it with him It was like I was at a club. I was like dying laughing like I was at a comedy club. I was like People don't know this is like there's a few of these guys just never got good at promoting You know and they're really good Yeah
Starting point is 00:10:41 And the interesting thing is the really good ones are not bitter that they're not as famous as they deserve to be Like I tell is like the least bitter guy alive. Yeah, so cool. Not even remotely bitter always friendly Open mic or all day sweet. Yes full like he's as present as you can get and he's infinitely less famous than he should be He should be. He should be selling out arenas all over the world. He's that good.
Starting point is 00:11:09 Wow. He's so good, dude. He might be the best comic alive. There's like a few in my mind that are like in the running for that. Like who is the best? I guess there's no one best. It's sportsman. You know, because you always have to consider Chappelle.
Starting point is 00:11:23 He's the goat of our generation. He's the most prolific. He has social impact He's hilarious and silly and he's a sweetheart of a person too So you have to think them but then I go with like sheer RPMs. I gotta go with Joey Yeah, sheer RPMs. We just like I Tell me tonight's were we in the back of the comedy star? We couldn't we couldn't even couldn even talk, you couldn't breathe. You're not even laughing anymore. You're just wheezing, everybody's just wheezing.
Starting point is 00:11:51 You're making wheezing noises and slapping things. Man, I remember back that era, seeing him and how people feel about him now, whatever. But at that time, man, when Crystal Lea was on stage in that main room some nights it was mind-blowing the rpms the just the amount of laughter and how fast would be like what the fuck yeah he could kill there's um there's a magic to that thing i think that's hypnosis i've always thought that i've been like for a long time at least i'm like what is happening to me when
Starting point is 00:12:23 someone's on stage and they're killing you know like, like when Shane, when Shane's on fire, what is happening to me? I think I'm like locked in with their mind. I don't think it's as simple as I'm watching a show or something like that. Because I love like watching a funny movie, you know, Tropic Thunder something like that. I love laughing watching funny movies. But I don't feel the same way I feel when a guy is in front of me on stage doing standup. And I think as great as specials are, they're never, they're like 60 to 70% of being there live. Yes. Always.
Starting point is 00:12:59 Because I think there's something about being there live that's like, it's hypnosis. There's something going on where that that person's making me think the way they think yeah when someone brings you into their world and like you said you're just living in it and you're not even thinking about you're just like I'm living in this guy's exact essence right exactly you're living in this person's imagination and this person's work right because they like they set this set up yeah and they danced it
Starting point is 00:13:24 around their head and they wrote it down a paper That's the other interesting thing about what we do is like no one has there's no like one way to do it I always say my way to do it, but you know I don't think Bill writes shit down I think he keeps it all in his head Yeah, Dave mostly keeps it all in his head to Schultz does that too. Yeah, it's insane. That's the Jay-Z thing, too Yeah, yes, he kept it all in his little Wayne. They didn't they just yeah, and it's insane They're releasing it's not like they're releasing one album, but who's the best writer Nas? Nas wrote everything down. You can't write rewind in your head. No, you can't know it's a story backwards
Starting point is 00:14:00 It's a story backwards. It's another level. That's another level. That's like him pulling his dick out and just like slapping that shit on the table, right? That song is, what do you want to say, like writing? Like I challenge anybody in the world who's got a better written song than Rewind from Nas. That's a great take. I would agree with that. It's perfectly fluent backwards. It's insane.
Starting point is 00:14:23 It's a language almost. It's perfectly fluent backwards. It's magic. It's a language almost. It's perfectly fluent backwards. It's magic. It's like a magic song. Yeah. And while you're watching it, you're appreciating the fact that he pulled it off. Yeah. You know, while you're listening, you're appreciating the fact that he pulled off this song backwards. Yeah, it's impressive to watch the different ways people do it. I mean, I'm biased because I'm tour I tour with them But man when I'm out with fucking Schultz II, dude Because people just see him come up with that ten minutes up top, you know Like we'll go we'll go to Abu Dhabi and you just see it right?
Starting point is 00:14:54 But man, you know people I get to see how he gets there and it's he gets to town and no matter where we are And all he does is he just talks to people and he doesn't say anything He just he gets a random person who's lived in wherever we're at for a long time and he just lets them and you just see him kinda like in his eyes will light up when somebody says a certain thing, in his eyes will light up. And he's like, ooh, okay, oh, that's going on? Oh, then what do they think of this?
Starting point is 00:15:17 So what are the time, and he'll ask a couple questions. He'll do it, and I'm not talking about 30 minutes, Joe. He'll talk to somebody for three, four hours before the show and just soak in all the culture and all the information and then you see him go on stage and it's a full, flush, 10 minute chunk about a place. Joe, he's a special talent. He's a special talent.
Starting point is 00:15:34 Yeah, I've never seen anything like that. Yeah, he's very special. And you know, and it's also like, you gotta realize, he's doing these jokes in front of 16,000 people for the first time. He's got a new joke and he's busting it out in front of 16,000 people for the first time. He's got a new joke and he's busting it out in front of 16,000 people about their area. Yes.
Starting point is 00:15:49 Bro, that shit he did in Hawaii about the chickens being so confident. Oh my God. Oh my God. Joe, I was the black guy. We got out the van and he saw the chickens run up to me. He's like, these chickens are too confident, dog. And he's like, they don't know Derek.
Starting point is 00:16:04 And we're dying and it's a foreign bit later that night. And it's like, these chicks are too confident, dawg. And he's like, they don't know Derek. And we're dying. And it's a foreign bit later that night. And it's like, this guy is incredible. And that's another example. What is he doing? How is he doing that to that crowd with those great jokes? He's locking those people in. You're letting him think for you.
Starting point is 00:16:18 Come on, man. Think for me. Let me have a good time and think for me. And not only that, but you're talking about my own personal experience in Hawaii. Right. And now you're going into your set. You have me. You have me completely wrapped around. Yeah, you're a pro. It was insane.
Starting point is 00:16:31 He's, he keeps getting better. It says, I mean, He was good when I first saw him a few years back, but man, he just keeps getting better. Well, like you said earlier, how to see people do different hours. You know what I'm teaching too though? People forget he was like the first guy to really capitalize on the pandemic with his videos, where he essentially created a completely new kind
Starting point is 00:16:54 of standup, right? So it's standup without the pauses that you would require if an audience was laughing. So it's more rapid-paced. He thought this through, dude. This is like a genius thing. Those things turn your phone sideways. So that's what you used to have to do back in the day, kids.
Starting point is 00:17:13 Back five years ago. All you fucking 15-year-olds, when you were 10, you didn't know about this. But when you turn your phone sideways, and then it would play out in wide format. And he would kind of do stand-up with images And with punchlines, and it was fucking great, but it was a way faster pace than he does stand-up on stage Yeah, it was like the punch lines the part of the better, and then you listen to that
Starting point is 00:17:36 And I'm like oh my god. He figured it out. Yeah, he figured out how to make like really compelling stand-up for someone Who's not there? Well? It's like oh It's like a late night monologue from one of those late-night hosts, but like a real motherfucker doing it and really giving their actual opinion. Exactly. Exactly. It's genius.
Starting point is 00:17:53 Because that was an example of someone innovating in a crisis. There's a situation that happened. You're forced to everyone. During the pandemic, some people just curled up in a shell and decided I'm not leaving my house anymore. Yeah, and then some people like okay. What can we do? What can we do? Okay? I'm going to figure out how to do stand up in this little video format turn your phone sideways Yeah, and then everybody started sharing them and some and then that netflix does Uh a thing, you know, andrew schultz saves america. It's all saves amer she'll save America yeah, which I don't think you
Starting point is 00:18:26 They should get the money back Yeah, some of those people are still trapped in the house crazier than ever right now But yeah, he did I mean with even with clenus with genius. It's him. I give him that credit Oh, he does it all the time And he also you know because his stuff is local and a lot Of it like these opening bits that he comes up with are You you kind of have to get him out now Yeah, right some so he can just release them on like that fucking window. We do the P. Diddy thing with LA
Starting point is 00:18:58 That's just a P. Diddy's house brother Brother he wrote that shit Before he walked up into the forum 20,000 people and it was the crazy they're like holy fuck how did he come up with this we were just hanging with him that's so funny he's in the groove you know AG1 has been a longtime partner of the show and I'm excited to share a great offer they have going on right now you can get a free month supply of AG1's Omega 3 supplement and a free bottle of D3K2 with your first subscription order. The Omega 3 soft gel supplement complements AG1, making it easy to get the fatty acids
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Starting point is 00:20:14 first A.G. 1 order. You'll also get their welcome kit with everything you need to get started on your A.G. 1 journey. So make sure you check out drinkag1.com slash Joe Rogan to claim this special offer. That's drinkag1.com slash Joe Rogan. It's sort of like when you have a muscle to do something and you do that thing all the time then you just get better and better and better at doing that thing and then you get in the groove. Like you like we're talking about like a tell like thing. And then you get in the groove. Like we were talking about like Attell, like Theo. Like when someone gets in the groove of who they are.
Starting point is 00:20:48 You know, like Tony is on Kill Tony. Perfect example. That's it, unreal. He's locked in, he's in the groove. He's been doing it so long. He knows when to dance, when to pause. When asked a serious question, when to get goofy, when to let the panel know.
Starting point is 00:21:03 It's pretty impressive, man. If you can find something like that to do in your life, you will have a much better life than if you just get a job And I know that's not for that and not everybody can But if you can you definitely should yeah, dude Yeah you definitely should do that being excited for every day and nervous and Anxious and and always that feeling I this big, that feeling, I mean, to not have it, I can't believe people go,
Starting point is 00:21:29 I get having you gotta go to work, you gotta make money, but the idea of like, man, never that feeling of anxiety and looking forward to something, and it not going the way you planned. And so you gotta go the next day and figure out what went wrong. And like, I love that. That's what I love about standup,
Starting point is 00:21:42 the figuring it out, the math of it all. Yeah, it's a great job, we're so fucking lucky yeah we're so lucky got it you've been in it long enough to see everybody did you see this thing Damon Wayne said about you they said he stole a lot of my jokes yeah I wanted to talk to you about that but the way he said it I've never seen someone say I stole a joke and he was like man I said I saw it and then I actually realized I stole Joe's joke and I was like oh I gotta stop watching motherfuckers it just I saw it, and then I realized I stole Joe's joke, and I was like, oh, I gotta stop watching motherfuckers. It just stuck in the back of his head. But I know you give him his flowers,
Starting point is 00:22:09 so I know the guy's not a joke for you. No, no, no, no, that happens, man. Sometimes you think you came up with it, but somebody else did, and you heard it, and you forgot. That can definitely, especially if it's a subject that you never cover, and time has passed, and then the subject comes up like something comes up and you Like it almost like David tells the best at that he'll call you up because you have to check sometimes like hey
Starting point is 00:22:33 Have you heard this? You know like you have like he's the best at that Dave does that all the time like you got to check every now And then like this one seems too easy because the memory is weird You know member yeah, you ever go back to like your old neighbor where you grew up And you're like this house is way smaller than I thought it was it was a man. It's all different Yeah, the driveway is different. Everything's different looks weird. You know your memory shitty. It's good I mean it keeps you from fucking picking up the wrong spider It's not it's not a photographic representation of reality
Starting point is 00:23:04 And that's a problem and you guys have been doing stand-up 20 years It's not a photographic representation of reality, and that's a problem. And you guys have been doing stand-up 20 years, how many bits have you seen? Just. Seen too many bits, yeah. So you can, and then there's parallel thinking. There's a lot, but you know when someone's a thief,
Starting point is 00:23:16 and Damon's not a thief. I always said that Damon, he might be one of the most underappreciated comics ever, because when he was in his prime, you gotta realize he was like, if you're looking to today, he was like Chappelle. He was in that same level of recognition as being one of the best guys alive.
Starting point is 00:23:35 But then they got him with those TV shows, man. And movies, he wanted to be a movie star. Last Boy Scout, he was gonna be a movie star. He did that big Bruce Willis movie. And it was a good movie. And then it looked like he was gonna be a movie star after that. I mean he had some great, like Blank Man, where he's a retarded superior.
Starting point is 00:23:48 That was so ridiculous. Try doing that today. You couldn't do that so good. What he used to do, Handyman on In Living Car. Oh my God. They might be one of the greatest families, the Waynes family. For sure.
Starting point is 00:24:03 Who's number two? They're number one. They might be one and two into Joe. I don't know What other families are there that are like big show not in comedy? What other family am I missing something? Am I forgetting somebody? I Mean, I know in living color was so like them and then the Sklar brothers Living color so big big, Joe. Did you know this? That the reason we have the Super Bowl halftime show
Starting point is 00:24:31 is because of In Living Color. That's crazy. So In Living Color- Really, is that true? That's true. So before Michael Jackson did, the year they brought Michael Jackson was because the year before that,
Starting point is 00:24:41 In Living Color aired during the Super Bowl. And they lost so many viewers. They lost like a, not half, a big number where they were like, we can't let people leave during the halftime show, because this show is too big. What year was that? I want to say Michael Jackson was 95, maybe 96. It had to be earlier than that.
Starting point is 00:25:00 Maybe 94? It had to be earlier than that, because I remember watching it on TV at a pool hall Yeah, 93, so I was just moving to New York To LA from New York then so I was in New York at a pool hall watching it And I remember watching fire marshal bill and I'll be like how can you do this? How is this allowed like shows crazy? You have to realize for 93, there was nothing like, like, if you think about the internet today
Starting point is 00:25:29 and all the crazy videos that people put together and the years of mad TV and, you know, yeah. SNL, yeah. But back then, back then, man, there was nothing like this show. This show was crazy. That is Paulie. Oh, my God, that is Paulie right in the corner.
Starting point is 00:25:44 Oh, look at that, Paul right in the corner oh look at Paul the we look at him he's moving the head like a bitch and he's here now too yeah no they're fun hanging out with Paulie it's like being at the store man it's the best but this is unreal how big this show was great but Damon you watch if you want to watch something watch I... I think it's The Last Stand. I think that was one of his... I think that's the name of it. I think it's The Last Stand, but it's fucking phenomenal.
Starting point is 00:26:13 And it's so good, but it's also so good if you go back to that time. Because comedy, like everything else, has evolved with all the scrutiny on it and all the different high-level people that are doing it Like there's the comedy right now. I think is that like the highest level that I've ever seen. There's so many Really great comedians. I think in the 1980s like if you go back you had Kenison You had Eddie Murphy you had Richard Pryor You had George Carlin. You had a bunch of really good guys, Jerry Seinfeld. But that, many after that, you know, wasn't as thick.
Starting point is 00:26:52 As thick with assassins. So I think like right now, there's so many assassins out there. There's more Arena acts out there right now than has ever been in the history of comedy. You gotta realize Arena acts started with Dice Clay So dice clay starts off becoming he becomes an arena act in like 87 ish late 80s arena at comedy star. Mm-hmm before that and nobody was doing it, but dice
Starting point is 00:27:19 Dice was the only arena act Yeah, and then arena act number two, Dane Cook. And that's how many years later? Many, because this is like Dane Cook's becomes an arena act in like the 2000s. Wow. Yeah. So then there's Dane Cook.
Starting point is 00:27:36 Dane Cook starts selling on arenas. I was like, what is happening? What is happening? And then all of a sudden, the internet internet happens and social media happens and a Lot of comics like we were talking about like Dave Attell And Colin Quinn like David tells one the best to ever do it And if there's ever a club where he's not sold out the moment it's on stage. It's a travesty It doesn't make any sense
Starting point is 00:28:03 but they they didn't connect to the internet the same way. And because the notoriety is not commensurate to the talent, whereas like with Schultz, the notoriety and the talent are perfectly balanced. It's the same level. So everybody knows how good he is, and everybody knows who he is. It's like it's locked in where it's Like David tell is this
Starting point is 00:28:29 But like the notoriety is like us talking about him only a word of mouth only his social media is hot garbage He's got a flip phone He texts you with the dude dude dude dude. He's got to press four times to get an R Texts you with the do do do do he's got to press four times to get an R or whatever Does it like that it's crazy does it like that like why do you do it like that? Because he could be on the internet more. I mean I remember when he had that show insomniac That's when I first but let me throw this at you because I've been trying to stay off social media more and more Every day like a little less every day. And the more I do it, the better I feel. It's like not being poisoned.
Starting point is 00:29:09 It really is. It's like getting away from a poison that you didn't know was a poison, like some Forever Plastics in your Starbucks cup or something. You know what I got? I quit those Starbucks cups, and all of a sudden I, you know what I mean? It's like something like that.
Starting point is 00:29:22 I quit drinking tap water, and all of a sudden, I can think better. You know what I mean? It's like something like that. I got you. I quit drinking tap water and all sudden I can think better Oh, that's right thousand tickets in 78. Oh my god, that's right, you know We always I forgot about Martin, but I forgot about Steve Martin for two reasons one cuz Steve Martin was a little different He was doing stand-up, but it was a lot of songs and it was you know Yeah, he was great by the way, but it was a lot of songs. And it was, you know what I mean? He was great, by the way. Like, Let's Get Small is phenomenal.
Starting point is 00:29:48 But I think he got to a point where comedy became too easy because, and so he didn't know what was funny anymore because everybody loved him so much. And he stopped doing stand-up, which is really weird. Wow. Probably didn't have good friends. Yeah, cause we had good friends we would have grabbed and like we grabbed Ron White. Remember when Ron White was trying to quit? You retired, yeah, that's what he talked friends. Yeah, cuz we had good friends. We would have grabbed the like who grabbed Ron white
Starting point is 00:30:05 I'm everyone Ron. Why? Retire what the fuck are you talking about? Why would you do that? Why would you do that? Isn't it comedy fun? Yeah He's like, yeah, it is so keep doing fun things. What the fuck is wrong with you? Like I can't believe I have to give them this advice like you're Ron white How are you thinking about how good you what how much fun are you having when you kill it up there? But I think that was the drinking thing too, man. Yeah sober now. Yeah, it was drinking and it was also he needed a tribe You know and he had the tribe a little bit when he was in California You know, but he was always on the road a lot, you know
Starting point is 00:30:38 And he just decided that being in the center of the country was better So he was like patient zero of the Austin Revolution like a lot of people think it was me But it was really Ron because I came here knowing that Ron was here. I was like at the very least Ron's here You know it's two of us. I'm like I'm not living like this in California. You're not doing this to me I know what you're doing. I was like the Fucking caged animal in me is like I'm getting out. This is not this is gonna go sideways I'm not gonna be a part of this. Yeah, fuck you Okay, at least Ron's there
Starting point is 00:31:09 I was like my life is gonna be worse than it ever was before my life is gonna be all my friends are gone They're not here. I'm in the middle of the country. Maybe I'll see him every now and then maybe I'll have to book shows to see them But at least Ron's here. That's that's what I decided Patience zero. Yeah, he was patient zero. So, you know and now he hangs out every night and we get Ron every night. Oh, he's lovely. He's the Lovely we were hanging one time. This is my favorite Ron story And it's me It's just me you and Ron in the green room and you gifted him a really nice Rolex and you guys are having a sweet moment And I couldn't believe I was there to see it
Starting point is 00:31:44 I was like damn this is really cool and you gifted it to him and y'all were having a sweet moment. And I couldn't believe I was there to see it. I was like, damn, this is really cool. And you gifted it to him and y'all were having a conversation like, wow. And he takes off his Rolex and he tosses it to me. He goes, there you go, Derek. And I go, holy shit, Ron, for real? He says, fuck no, bro. Give me my Rolex back.
Starting point is 00:31:56 Give me my Rolex back, you idiot. And then you went, so you go, that's the most fucked up shit I've ever seen, Ron. I forgot about that until right now. That was so evil. You literally were like, Ron. I forgot about that until right now. It was most evil. That was so evil. You were literally like, Ron, why would you do that? Well, I thought everybody was just giving out Rolexes up
Starting point is 00:32:11 in this bitch. I just thought that was going to be a great moment. And my face was like, uh, that's hilarious. But he's the man, dude. I can't believe I'm friends with him, because I've been a fan since I was a kid. I feel that same way. Yeah, I feel that way about a lot of guys.
Starting point is 00:32:24 Like, I can't believe I'm friends with you. It's nice. Well, that's good, right? You never stop being both a fan and a person who does it. Yeah. I try to separate it. I try to separate me as a comic offstage versus me as a comic onstage.
Starting point is 00:32:39 I really do. So I could just be a fan. Oh, that's interesting. Because when I was younger, I used to watch someone going oh I would do it differently like if they suck I'll do that if they suck I'll go like all that premise I think this is not explaining this very well you know I mean I start picking it apart that way but I like to just be a fan I don't like to just watch because I think a lot of people are real hesitant to give up flowers right as you know like to just watch because I think a lot of people are real hesitant to give up flowers
Starting point is 00:33:05 Right as you know like to say yeah But the reason why is because they don't feel good about comparing themselves to this person who may be doing better than them So they there's a feeling like eyes are right. He's all right. There's a little bit of that You know which I don't I don't like that. It doesn't make sense to me either, because watching this game, for the 10 years I've been doing it, it's like, oh, like, there's no, like everyone tells me that Sebastian used to, was like, nobody knew that he was gonna be the big,
Starting point is 00:33:34 one of the biggest arena acts we've ever seen when he first started, when he was coming around. You hear of older comics? You'd be like, oh, he was good, but you didn't see that form. So it's like, oh, there is no point to judge somebody harshly, because his game is long. Yeah, the game's long, and you figure things out. I was terrible when I oh, there is no point to judge somebody harshly because this game is long. Yeah, the game is long. And you figure things out. I was terrible when I started. There's
Starting point is 00:33:48 no way to not be. Especially me. I was socially retarded. I've been hit in the head 150,000 times. I mean, there's some fucking issues there. There are some issues. And I was socially retarded because I spent like from age 15 to 21 just did nothing but travel around the country fighting people. That's all I did. So my version of young adulthood was very weird. Like it was 100% competition. That was all it was. That's all I did.
Starting point is 00:34:18 Well, when you hear Joey talk about you when you were younger, he was an animal. You know, like Joe was just an animal before you apparently started smoking weed. He was like, you were way more different about it. But I think a lot of fighters have a hard time transitioning into being a regular person. And I was only an amateur fighter.
Starting point is 00:34:33 You know, I couldn't imagine being a guy like, you know, like Dustin Poirier, who's about to retire, you know, like transitioning to being a regular person. He's been this fucking savage. Killer. For so long, for so long, at the highest level. You know like transitioning to being a regular person when he's been this fucking Savage killer for so long for so long at the highest level. That's like the highest level in the world Inside the octagon knocks out Conor McGregor. Yeah, and you're like And that guy's got a transition to being a regular person. For me, there was no screaming crowds.
Starting point is 00:35:06 It was weird high school auditoriums and trying to give people concussions. That's all it was. So, but there was no glory and no money and it cost me some of my health, you know, for sure. There's, you know, and fear. Constantly living in a state of anxiety that you're gonna have to fight again soon. Constantly, constantly. And for some weird reason, I was always like,
Starting point is 00:35:31 why am I doing this to myself? I don't have to do this. Like, this isn't, doesn't pay me any money. I don't have to do it. Why am I, why do I keep signing up to do this? The NBA 82 game grind is done, and now the real fun begins. The NBA playoffs are here and it's time for all the high stakes drama, clutch moments, and jaw-dropping plays. I can't
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Starting point is 00:37:08 Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boothill Casino in Resorting Kansas, 21 and over, age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Voighton, Ontario, new customers only. Bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng.co. Did you ever have any ambition to go go to take it to the next level? Yeah, but there was no money.
Starting point is 00:37:28 I remember I got offered $500 to do a kickboxing fight. So if I did that kickboxing fight, I couldn't fight amateur anymore. And I was like $500. So then I can't, like if I ever decided to like try to compete in the Olympics again, because I was trying to get on the national team to compete in the Olympics, but somewhere along the line. I Got a little disenchanted with taekwondo and one of the ways that it happened is I started kickboxing And I started getting beat up because my hands were dogshit So like I was really good kicking, but if if I got into boxing it changes. I was terrible
Starting point is 00:38:01 My chin was up in the air. I was fucking swinging punches like a a bitch it was awful I could hit really hard if I hit you you're in trouble but it was not good and so I realized oh there's a giant flaw in this like for actual real fights there's a giant flaw in this and as soon as I started kickboxing particularly this friend of mine who was a really good boxer Dana Rosenblatt he was one of my training partners and he became New England middleweight champion he beat Vinny Pazienza in a decision, he lost him one fight and then beat him in the decision. He was legit. He knocked out Howard Davis Jr. who was a Olympic gold medalist. He was a bad motherfucker and he also
Starting point is 00:38:39 when I was training with him made me realize that I didn't really want to do this anymore. That I was just doing this because made me realize that I didn't really want to do this anymore. That I was just doing this because I had done it my whole life and this was like what I decided I was doing. Then I was like, not only is there no future in this, there's a lot of brain damage coming my way. Like 100% I'm getting it right now. And you know, just sparring with Dana, me and him sparring, I don't know how many times
Starting point is 00:39:00 we sparred, but we would beat the fuck out of each other, dude. Damn, really? Oh, oh It's horrible. Yeah, go home with headaches And if we were in boxing range he was tuning me up So I was always trying to stay on the outside because his hands were way better than mine, but we cracked each other Oh, you and Dana White would know no no no my friend Dana Rose. Okay. I was like no no no But if me and Dana were friends, we would do that too. I sparred with a lot of my friends.
Starting point is 00:39:27 We beat the shit out of each other. It was horrible, but that's what you have to do. You know what the beautiful thing about Jiu Jitsu is above kickboxing is you don't have this kind of animosity with your sparring partners. Because if you're in a good gym in kickboxing, you're always hurting each other. And even if you love a guy and you spar with kickboxing you're always hurting each other And he's like even if you love a guy and you spar with them you're always hurting each other
Starting point is 00:39:48 So you always have this thing where you like fuck that dude. I do give me a fucking headache Back like think about it. He cracked you with a left hook. You're like I am gonna get him back I can't wait to get him back whereas with jiu-jitsu you can't wait to tap somebody, but you're not hurting each other You know if you get hurt it's an accident the injuries in jujitsu are usually the strain related or you know you didn't tap right it's either she's strained to get out of something or you pulled yourself the wrong way or you didn't tap put in kickboxing like you're getting your legs are getting fucked up every day wham wham no matter what and matter what. And those pads, they help a little.
Starting point is 00:40:25 Damn, they're huge, Joe, those pads. When they look like it, when I watch them. Yeah, they help a little. Yeah, if somebody kicks you, like if Israel Adesanya kicks you with one of those pads on it, you can't believe the kind of agony that's involved in that way to make a living. So I was only doing it because I didn't know what to do. I was still doing it, but I wasn't the same person that I used to be. I was, at one point in time, I was just a mad dog. And then I realized, like, I'm gonna get really hurt
Starting point is 00:40:53 and there's no future in this, you know? Wow, were you already one foot in, one foot out, or did you just stop? Two feet in, but you were like, I'm done. You know what it was, really? I had one fight, I fought in the Nationals in Anaheim. And I beat the first guy, so I got into the second round. And the second guy was this kid, I think he was from Illinois, I don't remember. But he was like super aggressive.
Starting point is 00:41:16 And I hit him with the hardest wheel kick I've ever thrown in my life. It was perfect. He charged in with like a left switch kick. So he was like did a hopping roundhouse kick off the left side and I recognized it right away There was a pattern he was making this pattern when he was moving He would do this thing and then he would always do this do this thing and then he was always do this So I saw that pattern I said here comes and so he went with his hopping roundhouse kick I countered with this wheel kick and I hit him so hard that my heel was sore for days. I was limping for days because the way my heel bounced off his face.
Starting point is 00:41:54 And he face planted, snoring. They snore when they go out. Have you ever seen anybody get knocked out? Oh yeah, there. On the internet, of course you have. Yeah. But I'd seen it a few times in the gym. It's spooky.
Starting point is 00:42:06 It's spooky. And so my thing, what I would always do when I'd knock somebody out is walk away like it was nothing. Like that's what I always do. Like that's what I do. Yeah. I just, I didn't celebrate. I just would turn my head and walk away.
Starting point is 00:42:19 And I was talking to my friend Junkzik, who was, he was US national champion. He was a training partner of champion. He was a training partner He was sitting in the seat and I said I never got my kids moving He's like he hasn't gotten up and so then they get him an ambulance And so they put this kid on a stretcher and they have him sitting out there for 30 minutes And he's just on the stretcher for 30 minutes, and then they bring him in the ambulance and they take him to the hospital And I'm like, yo.
Starting point is 00:42:46 When he said he wasn't moving yet, did you feel like? Yeah, he could be dead. So this is what scared me. So I had this trainer, this instructor, who's like one of the best taekwondo instructors in the world. And I say to him, you know, well, he said to me, he goes, I heard you had a really good knockout at the nationals. And I said, yes, sir. I said,
Starting point is 00:43:13 it was kind of scary because I thought, like, I thought for a while that he was dead. And he goes, sometimes they die. And he walked away. I was like, Oh Jesus. Jesus Christ. Oh Jesus. He was fucking serious. He used to train. He used to train troops in Vietnam. Like he was a hardcore dude. He was hardcore. Oh my God. Sometimes they die. How sometimes they die. Yeah. I think it was Vietnam where he trained troops I forget where he trained troops, but he was like in an elite taekwondo instructor and he was his mind was like His name is master Jaehyun Kim and he's the the guy who runs the Jaehyun Kim taekwondo Institute Like that's his business and that's that's the place where I can't be he was like one of the few guys that was trained Under general Choi Young Yi who was the founder of Taekwondo.
Starting point is 00:44:06 So like there's a handful of black belts that were trained by this one guy. So it was like a different style. So their style was very violent and very power oriented. Whereas there was like an Olympic style that was emerged, that was emerging, that was very points oriented. It was just move fast and like tap and score. And they would yell and shit like that. Like every time they'd hit, they'd scream out. And so the Olympic style was more effective
Starting point is 00:44:32 at winning tournaments. And so the best guys were adopting like this Olympic style, but there was an older style that was just, maybe they telegraphed the moves a little bit more and maybe it was a little slow, but the impact was very different. Those guys were killers. They were knocking people unconscious. It was very scary So that's the gym that I grew up in so I had this very fortunate Place that I just stumbled into
Starting point is 00:44:58 You know happen to be like one of the best taekwondo gyms in the country, especially for generating power Because they like really emphasize heavy bag work. Like he really emphasized heavy bag work. It's like you have to generate power. If you hit somebody and it doesn't hurt, that's ridiculous. You gotta be able to hit someone to just put them out. Would you get into a lot of street fights before this? No.
Starting point is 00:45:21 Even before Taekwondo? No, no. Before Ta know No, I was a pussy Really? Yeah, I couldn't fight at all. So like why would I get in fights? I was trying to get away from Everybody I was terrified Wow So I just got tired of being fucked with because I was a pussy because I would get nervous because I moved around a lot I didn't have a lot of friends. We moved a bunch of times when I was a kid So it was always around new kids and I wasn wasn't big, so they would fuck with me. You know, it's just normal.
Starting point is 00:45:47 And I didn't know how to fight, so I bothered the shit out of me. And so I'm like, well, there's only one solution. You know, you gotta become what you're scared of. So you put yourself into Taekwondo. You were like, hey, I wanna do this. Yeah, I got a job, started working, washing dishes at Newport Creamery,
Starting point is 00:46:01 got enough money so I could take taekwondo lessons. Holy shit And then I started going every day So after a while he realized like it would be better if I was just there all the time instead of working and so he Gave me a job Teaching so I started teaching when I was like 15 I was teaching people when I was 15 and then when I was 19, I was teaching at Boston University. I used to teach a class, a credited class. It was a pass, fail, A. And I would tell everybody, it would count towards your GPA.
Starting point is 00:46:34 So I'd say, if you come here, you get an A. That's all you have to do. Just try. You're going to get an A. And it counts towards your GPA. And I'd tell them that at the beginning of the class. I'd go, if you can't come, if you can't make class I go if you can't come if you can't make it just call me and tell me that you can't make it but I want you to come I want you to come every time you can and if you do that I'm gonna get you better and we're all gonna learn something we're gonna I'm gonna teach really get into this so
Starting point is 00:46:57 I was really good at teaching wow really really and that's how you were in there in the gym when we work out you had that same energy so it's like oh that came from a place. Yeah, well that's what I was doing for a living. So from 15 to 19, I was just teaching. So what my instructor allowed me to do, but I guess I was training after about six months or so, he said, look, you could train here for free.
Starting point is 00:47:19 All you have to do is teach private lessons. I was like, great. So I would teach people, the new people, I would teach them how to bow, I teach them how to tie their gi on, I would teach them how to stand, I would teach them different different techniques and I'll go through them and get them so they're ready to join in to group classes because you couldn't just go into group classes you wouldn't know what you're doing. Yeah. Like that like front kick, you're like oooooh, looking around. Someone's got to teach you how to do it.
Starting point is 00:47:45 So it was always like a big deal to let like one of your little birds loose into the main class. Like you teach them, get their front kick going, get the side kick going, they go through a series of private lessons, I tell them to practice on their own, use the mirror, give them a bunch of like things to think about as they break down the movements. And you just literally, I've seen you do it in there.
Starting point is 00:48:05 That is what the mothership is. It's really just a fucking dojo to get better. And everything is about everyone pushing each other to get better and like learning together. Yeah. It's like, oh my gosh, you've been on this teacher shit. Well that's also what my instructor explained to me when I was really young too. Like I say this all the time and I even said it on the podcast yesterday. Martial arts are a vehicle for developing your human potential.
Starting point is 00:48:26 That's what it is. It's just you're using martial arts as a way to get better at life. Because this is a really hard thing and if you could do this really hard thing, other things won't be as hard. You'll be able to, you'll have more mental and physical horsepower for regular everyday life. You'll have more ability to overcome adversity and weird moments, uncomfortable moments. You're used to being uncomfortable. You'll be fine. It's different.
Starting point is 00:48:54 Wow. Yeah. See, I came up, I played football, college football. I was a football player my whole life. Yeah, bro. That was another one for brain damage. I'm addicted to training for some problems. But I grew up with the idea of like because that's so yourself you're dealing with fighting you're dealing with yourself. You're always yourself. I came my whole thing was team team. You get to lean on people you're leaning on each other and
Starting point is 00:49:22 that's what's making you better is how do we play the best? As a group right you know well, that's great, too And I think that's probably more beneficial to society so learning how to play in a team my problem was like you know when I Was a bad Fucking model don't I wasn't well that's one of the top high school football back to looking like that you could look like a fucking model, dawg. Look at you. That's one of the top high school football schools in the country. We gotta get you back to looking like that. You could look like that again. I know.
Starting point is 00:49:48 You just get a layoff of the car. They're so good. They're so good, dude. Come on. Achitos and pasta. They're so good. Oh my god. And then just, cause you stopped, you told me the other day you haven't been drinking
Starting point is 00:49:59 again. You stopped drinking, right? Yeah, it's been more than a month now. A month and some weeks. You walked in and you were like three weeks off boys I had all this fucking side fat and belly fat that just went away But most importantly I just feel better like I never have days where I'm recovering from being drunk Like I sound like shit now because I've allergies which is hilarious because I always made fun of people
Starting point is 00:50:24 I was like they're like in three to five years you'll get allergies I'm like shut up pussy I'm like that these fucking bitch ass allergies you guys get now here yeah it's so annoying it's so annoying for everybody to be right oh yeah my wife gets me on that honey natural if you get honey from a Local honey it gets rid of your allergies. I've heard that too, but the lady that we had in here That was a beekeeper says it's bullshit Yeah, not only that she said most honey that like not most she said a lot of honey that you buy in the store is not
Starting point is 00:51:02 Really honey Yeah, they fuck you they put like corn syrup and some fucking this and that and yeah, they have fake honey fuck man Isn't that crazy is anything real in that crazy? How would they do that China? They getting us Remember what she said Jamie what percentage she said, but she did say that a lot of honey was fake honey, right? Bro. It doesn't make sense, because that's such a thing that's been natural
Starting point is 00:51:31 in my head since the dawn of time, right? Honey. Have you ever seen those cats that in the Himalayas? I think it's in Tibet. Where is it where they get that psychedelic honey? Called mad honey, remember Jamie? Yeah, I think it's mad. Who brought that in for us? We did it during the show. psychedelic honey Called mad honey remember Jamie Who brought that in for us?
Starting point is 00:51:49 We did it during the show Yeah, we we took some mad honey during the show. How was the trip? Sonny from best ever that's right. Shout out to Sonny It wasn't I mean I was fine Really didn't do anything that crazy. you definitely knew that you were on something But he was like take a little bit of like fuck this give me a teaspoon I took the whole teaspoon like let's go. I'm like if wanna I want to go like Joey Diaz always says I want to meet the devil fuck the micro dosing. I'm trying to meet the devil I'm trying to meet the devil
Starting point is 00:52:32 You would take a full nugget of a mushroom don't tell the police You're eating something. I don't know what it was. I think that that is the first thing we have to make legal We've got to get Trump on mushrooms Just get him to have a little micro dose. He He'd be like, I'm really killing the game The game sir Great yeah, gotta be crazy to him. I'm not sure. Oh my god So every politician should be on mushrooms all wars would end Do you know how crazy that is for me to say that and it's also true It sounds so stupid also because it's me and I'm stupid but if I think but if like a
Starting point is 00:53:03 Scholar of someone who you really trusted the pinnacle of science today said if we could just go get the whole world on Mushrooms the whole all the wars would stop Everyone was stopped dehumanizing people Everyone was stopped treating people like others everyone would realize like oh wow We're really all connected in some bizarre way. That's We're really all connected in some bizarre way that's difficult to interface with sometimes. But we're all connected. We get selfish and we think about ourself only.
Starting point is 00:53:31 But if we cannot, that's like one of the beautiful things about camaraderie and community. If you cannot, then you all sort of like lock in, you realize like we're all experiencing this thing together. We're all like one thing that's separated by biology, but our soul, our spirit, our whatever it is that is us inside of our meat bag is a soul and it's connected to all the other souls in some strange way. And if you can figure out it's almost like you're listening to some it's almost like there's jackhammers going off around you
Starting point is 00:54:07 But you hear a really good song in the distance Almost you know yeah, like you ever be in a restaurant everybody's talking, but there's just some jam is playing on the radio Yeah, just a Marvin Gaye that's what it's like that's what it's like Yeah, I think there's different strategies that people used to try to get there. And I think God is one of them. Even the concepts of God, I think what you're trying to do is to get to that place where you recognize,
Starting point is 00:54:36 through strategies of tactics of following commandments and having a mindset and giving all your faith to Jesus and all your faith is like just by act of Doing that what you're doing is you're trying to get closer and closer to whatever the fuck that that beautiful Beautiful song is it's playing amongst all the noise cuz you know, it's there You're down It's just like, you hear down down, down down, down down, down. Oh man. Yeah. Oh my.
Starting point is 00:55:12 I remember, I don't know who, this comic said this, but it was great. I always talk about this joke, but he said how people think they're Americans or Chinese or whatever, but we're all on this planet. Like just zoom out. Whatever you think you are, just zoom out a little bit. It's a trap. It's just like the Republican Democrat trap It's just like the Texas, California trap. Shut up. We're all just people We're all people and you fit that's one of the beautiful things about traveling you meet friends in Scotland
Starting point is 00:55:35 You meet friends in Ireland you meet friends in Australia fucking like people are just people man. We're just all people We just we adapt to whatever our environment is. We adapt to the culture, the way people sound their words out, you know? Yeah, dude. I want to fit in. If you want to fit in, you move to the South, you start saying, y'all. You know? You said, y'all, yet? Oh, I say, y'all. When did you start?
Starting point is 00:55:58 But I'm from Memphis, Tennessee. Oh, that's right. So I'm a little Southern boy. So you've always had, yeah, you've always had a y'all pass. Yeah, I've been a y'all you've always had a y'all pass Y'all I was born in New Jersey, and I'm mostly Italian for me y'all is a stretch That's a that's I don't want to be disingenuous. Does it ever come out of you? No never for funsies Yeah, but it never accidentally comes out like y'all y'all gonna go. You know that you know I'm 57 Yeah, I say you are you guys
Starting point is 00:56:23 You know, I'm 57. Yeah, I say you are you guys Like accents are weird man, you don't realize you have them until you hear them and you're like Oh, why do I sound like that? It's impressive when you see people who can do I didn't know I had a Deep Boston accent until I was on television for the first time when I was 19 I won the Bay State games and I was on television for the first time when I was 19 I won the Bay State games and I was on this like local TV news thing and I got a chance to hear myself on TV I was like, oh my god, it's only a fucking idiot like Like heavy Boston accent, yeah, you don't have it as bad like I read of it. Yeah, I'm like that's a dumbass accent But then you started talking to everybody with a million different accents on the spot. So you heard all the different versions. You get neutral after a while, I think.
Starting point is 00:57:12 Your voice gets neutral. But you're not all the way like newscaster neutral, where it's just that, and now that kind of shit. That's the opposite of comedy, right? Because that doesn't hypnotize anybody. Oh, no. When that guy's talking the news, news like this is a presentation from NBC news Look at my tie look at the pocket square. I'm serious. I am a serious person
Starting point is 00:57:35 Most those guys are freaks. That's what I love when those guys get caught Oh, yeah, just those guys are just doing coke and bangin in a harem of gay men. It's insane But on television I present the news you are they're wearing a cock ring Fucking freaks all those like all those people that pretend to be proper those are ones you got to keep your eye Yeah, they never have real opinions either. It's all just whatever It's just a job bill Cosby was the guy who pushed the most for clean comedy. Yeah, isn't that crazy? Is it though?
Starting point is 00:58:11 Is it though? Like scolding everybody for their language and their subject matter. He was scold comedians. That Eddie Murphy bit is so good though when he told Richard Pryor that Bill Cosby, he's like, you making money? Yeah. A lot of people laugh Yeah Do you get paid? Tell Bill to have a coconut smile shut the fuck up
Starting point is 00:58:34 Well, it's so good too because Eddie Murphy could do such good impressions, yeah, yeah in all the accents He's another one like this just stopped doing comedy Like if any Murphy would have been bigger than all of them all the arena acts we were talking about before Eddie Murphy would have been bigger bigger He was so powerful go back and watch delirious. Oh my god. He was like 20 Hey, that's what's crazy. Whenever I do watch the leaders. I'm like, he was like 20 command of this what 4,000 seat or 5,000 seat or 2020 he's got full command of this what 4,000 seat or 5,000 seat or murdering
Starting point is 00:59:09 Wearing a leather jumpsuit or some shit chest out My god, yeah, this is crazy. It's but it's interesting like people people the past they choose in life, you know Movies movies to be calling. I think it's all velvet prison. Yeah, I've heard you say that to a song once about writing jobs That's a velvet prison. That's another velvet prison But like I'm sure Damon Wayne's had a good time making all those TV shows But it wouldn't have been amazing to see him being this guy that's like selling out arenas all over the world Like that's where it should be. I would still be doing it right now He could do it right now. He could just Abandon all that TV nonsense right now and go back to it and still be one of the best alive You know that guy records like every show he has a camera that he takes with him on a tripod
Starting point is 00:59:56 He sets it up. He records every fucking show and he puts them all on his computer because I've been doing this since 94 I'm like wow Yeah That's so many fun and how many specials he doesn't have no they're not a lot of special yeah Compared to other guys where you see not compared to how good he is doesn't make sense. Yeah, it's crazy You just you know someone's paying you you go you enjoy your work you like it You know there's nothing wrong with those decisions. It's obviously very successful You know, there's nothing wrong with those decisions. It was obviously very successful
Starting point is 01:00:31 But you know when you got to think like when you see guys like Schultz selling out arenas and Burt selling out arenas and Tony Selling out arenas. It's like this. Don't you want to get it on that? Talk to me David I help I'll help you. Oh my god that be sick to see him make a comeback Yeah, I'd love to see him do that. I just think After a while, do you really want to work for somebody? Do you really want to show up and read the script and do the table? I mean, do you want to do that? No. Fuck.
Starting point is 01:00:55 I love just showing up at 8 o'clock. Oh man, get up four or five times in a night. Oh, there's nothing. I love it. I mean, the idea of doing some stuff seems fun, but to make it my I saw Seinfeld say that he was like man This is one of the we have one of the few jobs where people want this job. Yeah, how many like very rarely do I see it? I don't know if there's a there's no job where I'm like I'd like to really like to be that. Yeah, this is the job It's one of them. That's for sure rock stars probably the big one rock stars probably the biggest
Starting point is 01:01:25 Yeah, but I don't see the rock star thing. They could sing the same-ass song every night forever Yeah, like if you're the Rolling Stones you could still sing brown sugar. No You ever see the lyrics to brown sugar. What are the actual lyrics? Oh? There's a reason why they don't sing it anymore. It's a great song don't get me wrong It's still on my Spotify playlist, but if you I think it I might have pulled it out. I might get scared Wait till you see the lyrics that playlist is crazy long. It's great. Yeah, the place we get we get turned up in there I do I think that playlist is like 35 hours long now You keep that
Starting point is 01:02:12 33 hours and 49 minutes. Yeah, I love more in there and then I'll be like who the fuck is playing this and I look at me just like I got you on the Black Panther album. You're just listening to some random shit. Hey, who got you on this? Oh yeah, I love a good random shit. Like if I'm in a bar and I hear some cool random song, I love, like, that's why I love that Shazam app. Ooh, that's so nice.
Starting point is 01:02:34 Here it is. Yeah, Gold Coast slave ship bound for Cotton Field, sold in a market down in New Orleans. Scardold slaver knows he's doing all right. Hear him whip the women just around midnight. market down in New Orleans. Scardold slaver knows he's doing all right. Hear him whip the women just around midnight. Brown sugar, how come you taste so good? Brown sugar just like a young girl should.
Starting point is 01:02:54 Yeah, yeah. Drums beating, cold English blood runs hot. Lady of the house wondering where it's gonna stop. Houseboy knows that he's doing all right you should have heard him just around midnight this song's for this song's crazy brown sugar how comes he tastes so good brown sugar just like a young girl should oh yeah yeah get down on the ground brown sugar how come you taste so good get down get down brown sugar just like a young girl
Starting point is 01:03:23 should I bet your mama was a tent show queen and All her boyfriends were sweet 16. I'm no schoolboy, but I know what I like you should have heard me Just around midnight this song's crazy. He was fucking the Jagger Song to write all this down slave ship. Did you say slave ship? Just like a young girl shit? What do you what that brown sugar you taste so good? sold in a market what and and then scroll down a little bit this was another one that I'm not sure what they're saying here hold on go scroll down a little bit oh yeah I bet your mama was a tent show queen what does that mean what does that mean what the fuck does that mean what is a
Starting point is 01:04:03 tent show queen what's a tent show? Well, whatever it is she's getting fucked. That's something horrible That song is crazy. So they don't play that song anymore when you go see the stones You saw you see them. Yeah, bro. You see him live. You can't believe you're they're really there They're like you're like, is that really them? It just seems so strange a tent show They're like, you're like, is that really them? It just seems so strange. A tent show. Yeah, they're probably one of the, if not,
Starting point is 01:04:27 no, they're definitely one of the biggest bands of all time. Tent shows are a generic term for traveling shows that pitch tents. So a tent show queen would have been a feature performer, probably in a vaudeville act, if the song is progressing forward in time. The fact that she had a 16 year old's boyfriend Suggests she's either extremely sexually liberal or more likely
Starting point is 01:04:50 Prostituting herself if she's prostituting herself the power dynamic is reiterated a black woman at the mercy of paying white men Huh? What kind of fucking? Scholarly take on this yeah, I know as long as that What is that? What are they saying? This is so drink weird no, that's fucking crazy. There's a weird definition It is a website that gives you insight on lyrics. It's crowdsourced, but doesn't necessarily mean it's accurate Oh, I see I see because I'm reading this I'm like the power dynamic is reiterated what a
Starting point is 01:05:26 I'm like the power dynamic is reiterated what a black woman at the mercy of paying white men Yeah, she advertised herself during the show and then sleeps on the side If what is that? I'm not yeah Those shows though you ever seen any of those those black box show used to be They were monsters Carney car knees would come into town these carnival people and rob everybody and steal probably murder just dirty people traveling around trying to stay alive and conning people out of their money and You know the bearded lady got fucking glued hair stuck to her face. What did I pay to see they still do that shit?
Starting point is 01:06:03 Oh, yeah We were at this place called The Box in London? And they have one in New York too, but The Box? No. Schultz took me, this fucking psychopath. We go to The Box, after we do Royal Albert Hall, it's a great night, we go to The Box around 2 a.m. That's when the show starts.
Starting point is 01:06:16 Really? It's one of those kind of shows. 2 a.m.? 2 a.m. They take your phone, they lock it up. Whoa. Joe, there's people shitting on stage and rubbing themselves in shit and fucking each other on stage Why and putting crazy huge dildo rods in each other? Are you getting anybody in trouble by saying this?
Starting point is 01:06:32 No, it's so this is an organized business. This is we have multiple of these the box. Yep. That's it And they were shitting on each other shit not Joe Shitting on each other. Did you worry about getting shit on you while you were there? How cool, sweetie, these people. We had like a nice little booth. Luckily, we were with Schultz. You got to know when to panic and get out of the building if shit starts flying around. Oh, dude, it was crazy.
Starting point is 01:06:53 Once people start shitting in public, like, I'm out. It rubbed in your arm. I can watch this online. I don't have to be here in person. That night, I was ready to fight, because I was about to fight Schultz and them. I walked in, and there's trannies. There's all kind of people in person. That night I was ready to fight because I was about to fight Schultz and them. I walked in and there's trannies, there's all kind of people in there. Right when I walk in, a big dude dressed like a woman, but a dude, I mean, big, ripped,
Starting point is 01:07:15 just fucking reached for my balls and dick as we're walking in. Oh boy. Oh yeah, what the fuck man? But nobody else sees this happen to me and him at this office and then he keeps walking. And now I'm on 10. I'm like, oh what the fuck? I'm, you know, I'm having fun anymore. Now sees this happen to me and him at this office and then he keeps walking And I'm now I'm on 10. I'm like, oh what the fuck? I'm you know, I'm having fun anymore now I'm ready to fight. This is crazy. This guy just like trying to touch my dick. What the fuck is going on Kevin spacey? Yeah, and they think Kevin space with me
Starting point is 01:07:34 He fucking Kevin space Think amongst that community that is a common way of saying hello. Oh, it was working for I saw him later fucking Pretty much having sex with the guy later. But you just gotta take a chance you look like you're gay guys what he's trying to say. I think he saw the flinger in it I don't know what he saw. He thinks you're beautiful. Yeah, but maybe he did see that out. That's what Schultz said later Probably. Mm-hmm. Yeah, but I saw that out. I didn't know so I'm hot. Let's go I'm on tape, but they think I'm on ten because everyone's gay So Schultz and them are like Derek you gotta stop being homophobic man Like it's just a weird show and I'm about to fucking kill you guys They got to try to grab my dick and it was just a whole it was like a curb your enthusiasm level of miscommunication
Starting point is 01:08:12 But I mean it was one of the I've never been more mad really yeah I just thought the idea of some of a grown man touching my dick physically like that. It was just it's very disrepectful I don't like I don't like being disrespected like that. It's scary. It's scary well imagine being magic being a woman and that happens. That's what I was thinking. Yeah, that's how I felt. That's that's real There's there's bad people out there, you know guys grabbing asses and bars and Beating up boyfriends. Yeah, you gotta be careful. You can run into the wrong dudes You know how people are jealous of you know other comics successful that ain't shit compared to like the way ugly dudes are jealous And handsome guys with a good-looking girl whoo you know then that guy becomes the enemy who gives fucking pussy Look at this fucking pussy with that girl look at her at the fuck and they all those mutts
Starting point is 01:08:57 They all get together and speak mutt language. Yeah, fuck him probably from out of town Probably from that other piece of dirt with all those pussies live. Where you from pussy? pussy town Rival baseball team to beat him when they were in seventh grade and they still haven't let go of it Yeah, they get pissed. Yeah, there's a lot of idiots in the world man. They all need mushrooms They all need much. Yeah. Yeah mushrooms would make you you'd abandon all that townie shit You're like what oh my god, so you realize how big the world is. Yeah, I picked such a small camp 2200 in the middle of Nebraska
Starting point is 01:09:39 Try to start fights with the people from Des Moines. Yeah, I look at Iowa faggots fights with the people from Des Moines. Yeah. Fucking Iowa faggots. People are so silly. They're so silly. God, how fast would you have kicked that guy into oblivion if he tried to grab your dick like that? Well, you don't want to just escalate right to like extreme violence.
Starting point is 01:09:58 That's what I told Showson. They were like, why are you, you look so angry. And I was like, bro, I was on, you know, you hit that point where it's like, I'm not having fun anymore. I'm here now. You gotta be careful, people get stabbed people get shot people you don't extreme violence is Should be reserved for really defending yourself Yeah, you have to defend yourself and I know you're actually being attacked that guy was literally trying to have this guy on Molly I'm sure he's drugged up your own Molly your own this your own that
Starting point is 01:10:22 Cocaine and you're fucking you you like a fairy you should never Exchange violence with someone unless you fucking have to you shouldn't do avoid it at all That's why I never had any street fights like avoid it at all I mean I had like one in high school I had two two in high school They were nothing though no big deal, but then once I started competing I was done with all that yeah But if you do tune somebody up like they die sometimes like what my instructor was saying is true Especially in the real world because people fall and they hit their head on the concrete That happens people die like that all the time they get knocked out their head bounces off the concrete and then they're dead
Starting point is 01:10:58 Yeah, it's like getting a giant rock dropped on your head from like a second-story building Yeah, think about what the the earth is, you know, like the earth like the concrete is Immobile and so hard and all of the weight of your 200 plus pound body falls backwards and your head Bounces off that concrete and it's the most sickening sound And it's the most sickening sound God you hear it all the time on that mat when that's getting knocked out Yeah, but that's like way safer. Yeah, then getting knocked out on the concrete, but yeah, I do hear it all the time It's it it bothers the shit out of me when I see someone's head bounce When they get KO and their head bounces off the ground like oh
Starting point is 01:11:41 Bro did you ever see the one when Josh Emmett knocks out Bryce Mitchell? Oh my god, dude. Is one of the worst one punch knockouts in the history of the sport. He knocks him out and Bryce Mitchell's legs are twitching and he's like locked up completely out cold. And when he goes down, now imagine someone gets hit like that on the street and you fall back like that on concrete. So not only do you get destroyed by the punch, but then you get destroyed again by the earth
Starting point is 01:12:12 covered in concrete bouncing off the back of your head with all the weight of your body and leverage to the back. The head is the first thing that hits. Your head flies back and all this way is bang watch this well this is a crazy knockout dude it's so fast you don't even really see his his legs start shaking yeah I hear DC saying he's shaking. He's shaking Joe. Oh my god flush flush and Josh Emmett is a little tank. I mean he's 145 pounds for about five seconds till he weighs in then he probably weighs about 170 and he hits like a fucking mule
Starting point is 01:12:57 Look at this. Oh look at the back. Oh fucker. Look how he's built man And imagine how much force is involved in that guy punching you in the face. Oh The craziest one I ever seen live was we were together we were in Phoenix and it was when Tony for Chandler kicked Tony Ferguson Oh my god, that's one of the scariest ones. I remember I was I was high too. I'm not sure I was like Scary I remember how scared I was for this grown man. I was like, oh my god, he hasn't moved. And he just seemed that, that. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:31 Oh my god. I saw that live. One of the best front kicks of all time. That's perfect. The technique is perfect. I mean, and that's a real pitcher. That's a lie that he made his face look like that. That's so crazy.
Starting point is 01:13:42 He looks like a grandpa in a Pixar movie. He does. He does. He does. He does. He does. He does. He does.
Starting point is 01:13:51 He does. He does. He does. He does. But oh. That was a scary, that was the scariest one I've seen, but my favorite knockout I've ever seen was, I mean we were all in the green room.
Starting point is 01:14:01 I don't know if you were there for this one, but it was Whitney's weekend, and it was like 12, 15 of us in that green room, and it was when Izzy knocked out Poetan, knocked out Pereira. And he got him back. That was the greatest celebration of all time. At all?
Starting point is 01:14:11 All time. Fortify your mind! That line sticks with me, I say it to myself. Not just that, the whole thing from beginning to end, the three arrows into his body while he was down. Breaks it. Yeah, Izzy looks at his son and then falls on his back to mock his son, because his son had mocked him
Starting point is 01:14:25 I did that's how many he is years of Son he falls down Like the kid did a little kid and then then he pops back up And then he gives like the best post fight speech in the history of the sport. It was like he wrote it already It was beautiful. I remember how beautiful you feel. I wish you could feel this one time. In your life. Yeah, here it is.
Starting point is 01:14:48 Oh. Now watch this. God! I mean, that lights you up, dude. Bro, and then watch this as he finds the sun. Remembers? He remembers, look, points to you, look, you, you, you, you, check this out. That kid's like seven years old, that's fucking, that's literally.
Starting point is 01:15:19 That's so petty, that's so petty, That is so petty! He remembered! Found him! Oh yeah, he's like, well yeah. Hey, check this out. You think I forgot? Now Joe, was he lolling him? Oh my god. Was he? No, he was getting fucked up.
Starting point is 01:15:32 He was really getting fucked up, okay. Yeah, his leg, he told me that his leg was getting compromised already. One of the things in the first fight, so the first fight in the UFC, Poetan wins and he wins by stoppage and Izzy said, I wasn't even really hurt, I just couldn't move because he had fucked my leg up so much I couldn't get out of the way of his punches he's like but I wasn't hurt like real badly hurt to the point where he's wobbling he's like my leg wasn't working he'd kick the shit out of his leg he's his calf kicks are so nasty he's like out of all the people in the sport he's the worst guy to have kick your calves because he sneaks them
Starting point is 01:16:04 in and there's two and three and before you know it off fuck my leg don't work anymore God now you're trying to get away and all you got one leg and you're trying to dance and pretend So you're putting all the weight on this leg so you're trying to pretend like you got two legs, but he can tell He could tell he hits it again thud so he had Izzy in real trouble, but he opened up too much He hits it again thud so he had Izzy in real trouble, but he opened up too much He's open up too much and you know to order to like close in on someone and bang them out like you got to leave Yourself exposed sometimes there's risks to reward right and the the cautious Patient thing to do is you throw a lot of faints and then you throw your shots in But he was just teeing off at this point and when you're just teeing off
Starting point is 01:16:44 your shots in but he was just teeing off at this point and when you're just teeing off You're assuming that the guy's incapable of countering in a to a certain extent or not. He's incapable You're you're taking the risk of getting countered You know whereas if he just kept playing that game and like fainting and moving and slowly picking and poking and knowing He just charged in a little too much. He thought Izzy was hurt more than he was. And then Izzy got him. That right hand, just fucking. Great, one of the greatest knockouts of all time. Especially when you think about the significance of it
Starting point is 01:17:13 and you think about historically two great champions, one guy who had knocked him out in kickboxing and then knocked him out in the UFC and then he knocks him out cold and gets petty and then after petty gets super inspirational yeah and gives one of the greatest post-fight speeches of all time I think the greatest I don't think there's ever been a better oh maybe maybe Rose Nama Eunice that was right up there too that one made me cry yeah I remember yeah she's sick she's a badass too dude but yeah that Izzy one, man.
Starting point is 01:17:45 That's, I mean, he's the reason I never, he got me into the idea of UFC. I never, before he got into, because he was into the nerd stuff. Yeah. And I couldn't believe that there was a guy who was like being like, yo, I'm a nerdy dude. I like nerd shit.
Starting point is 01:17:56 Yeah. And I'm kicking the fuck out of people. And that got me locked in. And also like a sweetheart. Sweetheart of a guy. Oh, he's the best. So fun. Just to hang out with and shoot the shit. He's silly, he's fun. Oh, dude. Locked in and also like a sweetheart sweetheart of a guy so fun Just to hang out with and shoot the shit is silly. He's fun. Oh, dude playful. You know, it's just a real good guy real smart Oh, he took us to a club when we were in Brisbane with me and she'll know she and we just danced till like three in The morning just fucked up
Starting point is 01:18:19 Some local spot that he likes, you know, he's the man man dude. That's awesome. He's just the fucking man. But yeah, the nerd shit made me lock in. It's interesting how different those guys, I mean, like we were talking about like Dustin Poirier, like having a regular life, like the same thing with Izzy, like how do you have a regular life after you did that? You did that. You did that in front of the whole world. The whole world was watching.
Starting point is 01:18:42 It was, there was so many consequences on that, that that fight because you were winning he was winning that first fight yeah he was winning you know he was ahead on points and then the fourth round or the it was a fourth or the fifth we got put out you know it was um you know it was devastating like this motherfucker got him again yeah because he got robbed in the first kickboxing fight. Izzy got robbed, in my opinion. I went and I watched that fight several times. I mean, robbed is a tough description, but I would say I do not agree with the decision. I think Izzy won that kickboxing fight. And then the second kickboxing fight, Izzy had him on skates.
Starting point is 01:19:18 Izzy had him hurt at one point in time, but he recovered, and then he caught Izzy with a left hook from hell. Just a left hook from hell. That motherfucker hits so hard. Yeah, it looks scary He hits so hard and he wasn't as big back then as he is now Like he a lot of strength and conditioning work since then like you didn't doesn't look the same Like then as he does now now He looks way more strong and so he knocks him out and then they fight in the OC and he knocks him out again And then Izzy finally knocks him out and then they fight in the OC and he knocks him out again And then is he finally knocks him out?
Starting point is 01:19:47 It was all puts the arrows in his body for the three times. He beat him Yeah, I know said that was like he didn't even think of that. He just did three He just felt like doing three, but it was really the three times He beat him and it just came out of his body out of his body This motherfucker got me three times This motherfucker got me three times. Fuck you. Oh, I don't know who was on stage that night, but we ruined their set because they came on stage like, oh yeah, you just, I'm in the middle of a joke and you just hear 30 people
Starting point is 01:20:13 in the green room go, ah! And I'm like, Whitney too. Ah! All of us. Because it was just, oh, this is a moment, dude. You can feel it when it just the way he did it and then when he's yelling. But that's one of the most inspiring that speech it whenever I'm working out or doing anything that fortify your mind It plays in my head fortify your mind Jamie play that for us one time
Starting point is 01:20:33 It's like one of the greatest speeches of all time and you know, he asked me for the microphone too. He did Earth, I need to say something, listen to me. I hope every one of you behind the screens on this arena can feel this level of happiness just one time in your life. I hope all of you can feel how fucking happy I am just one time in your life. But guess what? You'll never feel this level of happiness if you don't go for something in your own life.
Starting point is 01:21:06 When they knock you down, when they try and shit on you, when they talk shit about you, and they try and put their foot on your neck. If you stay down, you will never ever get that resolve. Fortify your mind and feel this level of happiness as you rise one time in your life. But I'm blessed to be able to feel this shit again and again and again and again and again. Woo! I mean, fuck man. Damn.
Starting point is 01:21:33 Why you rise? I mean it sounds like something from a movie, like a speech before war. It sounds like, like 15 writers sat in a room and came up with the perfect lines. Yeah. And then, ugh. If that was in the movie Gladiator, I'd be like, oh, yeah, that's what that's that's how good that is And I bet that just came out of the moment. I didn't even ask him I should ask him next time I talked to him. I bet that just came right out of the moment It was just right there. It was a perfect event for him. It was perfect. The way it went down was perfect You couldn't you never script that better in a movie
Starting point is 01:22:05 No to see him flattened out out cold and then put arrows in his unconscious body Knocked out a Easter egg island, man Easter egg island. You know what I'm trying to say? I thought it was Easter egg island. Bro, Alex Pereira is the scariest kickboxer ever competed in the sport. He's like the one guy above all that I would say if he hits you once, you're dead.
Starting point is 01:22:34 He just has to hit you once. Out of all the guys I've ever seen fight, I don't think anybody I could say that more than that guy. Including in kickboxing, in everything. He has more power than anybody I've ever seen. In fact... Even boxing? Even...
Starting point is 01:22:47 I don't think I've seen anybody that hits harder than that guy. Anybody. Ever. Ever. Ever. Except Francis Ngano. But Francis Ngano's 265.
Starting point is 01:22:57 You know what I'm saying? But in weight class, like weight class to weight class, Francis can put anybody out too, but he's not at the same skill level as Poetan so when Poetan does it it's like like when he Switch kicked Yuri Prohaska and KO'd him at the beginning of the second round. Yeah, Jesus Christ like What the fuck man? And he KO'd him already at the end of the first round. Yeah, he's terrifying that dude's terrifying Just absolutely terrifying that power is just from this like from God
Starting point is 01:23:27 It's like he's got a gift. He's got a weird gift. This is different than ever He you know, there's this machine where you punch it and it registers the amount of power with Francis It was like a hundred and thirty something Something like that, right? Francis like 130 something Poton got 191 191 191 With his with his right hand and I don't even think his right hands his power punch I think it's his left hook. That's the big one. I bet the big one the left hook is over 191
Starting point is 01:23:54 It's bananas his power, but it's not like anybody else. So when is he not that guy out? That you gotta understand that's that gotta understand, that's different. That's different. That's the top of the mountain. That's the top of the mountain in the sport. It's like one of the greatest accomplishments in the sport. Yeah. It really is.
Starting point is 01:24:14 Would you say Puliton is the fastest rise you've ever seen in the UFC? Ever. To two division world champions? Yeah. No one's even close. Because that guy never says no. They call him up.
Starting point is 01:24:23 You wanna fight next weekend? Yes. Oh yes, just wait. It just fights. He fought with a broken toe. Cuz that guy never says no they call him up you want to fight next weekend. Yes It just fights you fought with a broken toe He fought a broken hand the last time his hand was broken and he had a neuro virus and he still fought He's terrifying. He's crazy. I remember when he came to the mothership and they were like the security like it was terrifying He was like I want to meet Joe He was terrified because he was like, I want to meet Joe now. And security were like, I don't know what to do.
Starting point is 01:24:45 Yo, me and DC were in the hallway upstairs in the mothership and he's teaching us how he checks the calf kick. How he throws the calf kick different than everybody else and he's having Pelino, his coach, is translating. So it was me and DC and we're both standing there and you know that little area where the elevator is, where the VIP is?
Starting point is 01:25:03 So we're standing there in this little crowded areas like five of us and Poetons kicking my legs and he's kicking DC's legs and he's explaining how he lifts his leg up this way And this is how he checks it and you're like oh Shit, it both DC and I would we tell people about this like I don't even know if I want to give this up Because this is like very good information Like he does he never gets hurt with calf kicks. And if he like the way he checks them, he does like a hacky sack thing. A lot of people are doing it now. But he was like one of the first guys to figure that out. That he does like
Starting point is 01:25:35 this hacky sack move. So when you go to kick his legs, instead of just checking it, where he turns it into the kick, he lifts his leg up and his leg just kind of goes like this and the kick just goes, we just kind of raises it. So it never he lifts his leg up, and his leg just kind of goes like this, and the kick just goes, weee. It just kind of grazes it. So it never pounds on his calf the way he pounds on theirs. When it's just straight and boom, you're getting that force while you're playing it. But he also has a different style.
Starting point is 01:25:56 Like, he's not heavy on the front leg, because some guys are heavy on the front leg because they want to take him down quick. So they want to be able to move and take him down, and those are the guys that are going to have a harder time getting away from that kick. Because you got so much weight on that leg. So we just thud, thud, thud.
Starting point is 01:26:12 And then now your calf is numb. Your foot is limp. Your foot's just dangling around your ankle. Oh, that guy's terrifying, dude. And again, how does a guy like that go and become a regular person? How do you integrate and just be a regular guy after that? Yeah, it's got to be very weird.
Starting point is 01:26:29 Like, Shobb's figured it out. Yeah. But Shobb got lucky that he found podcasting, you know, and he, you know, found his car show, All Gas, No Brakes. So he he found a way to transition and still have a good time. Yeah, it's very few guys because you see, I remember just the era of watching Tyson go from fighting to finding a rhythm. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:26:49 And being in movies. So there's like fighters, like Shaw, elite fighter, top 10 heavyweight in the UFC. But then there's champions, world champions, guys who sell out arenas, pay-per-view stars. Like Connor, how's that guy go and be a regular person? How do you do that? You can't. Yeah, it's like, I mean, there's that guy go and be a regular person? How do you do that? You can't yeah, it's like I
Starting point is 01:27:07 Mean they there's no coaches for that where they teach you how to reintegrate and become normal. Yeah RIP George Foreman, man. He feels like the only one who was like he found the grill I'm fucking with a lot of money with that grill, but he also came back when he was 36 Yeah, and won it again, didn't he? Yeah He went all the way through till he was 45 and he knocked out Michael Moore, which is crazy. Nobody did that back then. When he came back at 36, I remember news articles about it
Starting point is 01:27:36 and I remember feeling sad because I knew George Foreman when I was a child. George Foreman on TV when he knocked out Joe Frazier When Ali beat him in Africa? that was a famous story because Hunter S Thompson went there and he was supposed to Watch it and write a story for Rolling Stone about it But he was so sad that Ali was gonna get fucked up that he decided not to go to the fight So he stayed in his hotel and just floated around the pool and he fucked up the whole assignment. And it was kind of in the documentary, they say it was kind of like a pivotal moment in the downturn of his life, where he kind of like fucked his life up. Really? Yeah, because he failed in his assignment. He didn't in back then you couldn't watch the tape. You know, this we're talking about the 1970s. Yes. So after the fights over the fights over, you did you miss the fight, you don't have a story. story and so he didn't have a story and he went all the way to Africa and just fucked off Because he was just being silly and you know, like oh my god, I'm a failure
Starting point is 01:28:31 I failed in my story and it was like a downturn in his life kind of takes a dark turn after that God, it's crazy how much because you hear that and it's that speech that Ali gave which is also one of the most inspiring things Everyone he's like I know you got him picked. I know you all got him that you know where he gets that one. I'll show you how great I am Yeah, and it's like wow to hear that even hunter s-thompson was like oh wow that every casual must have been like Ali's about to Get fucking oh you got to understand man George Foreman was a machine He was different you ever seen George Foreman punch the heavy bag no bro. He punched the heavy bag different than everybody Because he winds up not only does he wind up and punch the heavy bag? No. Bro, he punched the heavy bag different than everybody. Because he winds up. Not only does he wind up and punch the heavy bag, he has it stay still, and he just hits so hard, and it's so terrifying, that that's all he has to do in a boxing match.
Starting point is 01:29:15 He just has to kind of cover up and get close enough to just whomp you. Just whomp, whomp. And a lot of it is arm punches. Look at this. Listen to this. Give me some volume. the heavy bag is one of the more prodigious sights I've had in my life. It seems to me that of all the people I've seen hitting heavy bags, including Sonny Liston, no one ever hit it the way Foreman did. So all he's practicing is hitting hard. He's not trying to be slick. You notice the difference? Yeah. The way like Canelo hits the heavy bag or Floyd hits the heavy bag. They're working skills. What do you see Tyson do it and that head is going crazy. Tyson hit the heavy bag better than anybody in the history of the world. Better than anybody.
Starting point is 01:30:16 Because he hit the heavy bag with all these crazy angles and speed. Speed like a lightweight. Speed like a lightweight. It's bouncing. 214 pounds moving like a lightweight. Nobody was like that, dude. I still maintain he's the greatest. I think for, you know, a lot of people shit on me. They said, no way. You don't know shit about boxing. I just think that run when Cus De Mato was training him to the title, Cus was already dead when he won the title, to like a few fights afterwards. Losing Cus, he lost his way a little bit, but that run when he was the man, when he knocked out Marvis Frazier,
Starting point is 01:30:52 I think that's the greatest heavyweight of all time. I don't think anybody's even close. I think he fucks them all up. I think he fucks them all up if they fight him during that time. People like to discredit things because of the whole career, but they don't wanna give credit to a run. When you see somebody have a run that's truly- It's all about the run. It's all about the run
Starting point is 01:31:08 That's why I always put BJ Penn in the list of all-time grades because during that run when BJ Penn beat up Diego Sanchez and when BJ Penn fucked up Sean Shirk and Joe daddy Stevenson when he did that I'm like that BJ Penn might be the baddest motherfucker alive He might be the baddest motherfucker a lot like he I would have put that BJ Penn I would have loved to see that BJ Penn versus Khabib that they have been fucking crazy And a lot of people think that's a ridiculous thing to say because Khabib was so dominant and BJ lost a bunch of times Like you're right Argument I accept that I mean I'm not stick
Starting point is 01:31:42 Because he might have beat him he might have taken him down and mauled him the same way George St. Pierre did. He might have. Khabib's a big guy, especially for lightweight, and his grappling skills are unparalleled. Khabib grapples and does fantastic with elite world championship caliber amateur wrestlers. I've heard stories of Khabib dominating guys
Starting point is 01:32:03 in the gym at AKA that are elite wrestlers. That's how good Khabib is. So he might have been able to do that to BJ Penn. But BJ Penn might have got him too. BJ Penn might have got him. BJ Penn especially when he's training with the Marinoviches and he had an unstoppable gas tank. Because he went and trained with Marv Marinovich who was like this psychopath football trainer. He had these like radical plyometric training methods and you just all you did was strength and conditioning. It was like you know how to fight. Stop all this fight training. We're just going to get you in the most in-chain safe possible. And
Starting point is 01:32:35 when they did that, BJ Penn was unstoppable. That BJ Penn, if somebody could have corralled him and got him to stay with that guy and then train all his skills outside of camp and then only train that way when he has World title fights and never fuck off who knows man who knows he could have been the goat He was so talented man. So talented that motherfucker BJ Penn won the moon deals. Okay. He was the first American to win the Monday house Ever the Monday house the world championships in Brazilian jiu-Jitsu. As a black belt, three years into training. Three years into training. First of all, it's insane to get a black belt in three years. But to get a black belt in three years and then win the world championships is insane. Insane.
Starting point is 01:33:17 And that's, without even hearing the context, that's crazy because I know three years isn't long enough to do any, most things. I was a brown belt for eight years like you know you don't they don't give those out man you have to earn it has to be real unless you're a terrible gym you're at a legit gym yeah you know if I'm training with John John Machano doesn't give out black belt so you gotta be real to get that you gotta choke a lot of people to get that and BJ Penn got in three years three years yeah that's just natural gifts God-given it's ability he's an addict he said it to me like we had a
Starting point is 01:33:59 conversation on the phone once was really funny it goes I was talking to this guy and he was really young and he was like You know like he goes BJ. I admire you, you know, I copy your style and this and that and he goes man You got so good so quick. He goes man. I'm like you I'm an addict He goes I'm just addicted to jiu-jitsu and he's like fuck man. Then I realized that that's it I'm addicted to jiu-jitsu. I got addicted to something really good. I'm addicted and I was like that's exactly what it is, right? Yeah, yeah, it's the same thing that can turn you into a junkie Unfortunately, just put that dial and spin that needle some towards something else. Uh-huh, and it's over
Starting point is 01:34:36 I knew a dude who was a world champ to caliber pool player and He was Squeaky clean. He ate well. he drank water, he never drank alcohol, he didn't smoke cigarettes, he didn't do drugs. Straight as an arrow, super focused, world championship caliber player. Then he hurts his back in a car accident. And they get him on those pills and falls apart man Gets addicted to those pills the same way. He was addicted to being a pool player The same thing that made him just obsess on pool Where's thinking about pool so much it becomes like the scariest guy to play the same thing Got him with the pills and then he just
Starting point is 01:35:23 Overdosed and died young and but he was like one time my buddies were hanging out with him and he fell asleep in his mashed potatoes just fell asleep in his food they were eating he just just grayed out on pills right into his food and they had to pick him up out of the food like oh no this is a guy that was like straight as an arrow clean as a whistle super focused always dressed nice always look good. You know yeah thin in shape Just one is focused click to the left one click to the left one accident and then pills and then no one Understanding how addictive those fucking pills were the doctors never told you yeah nobody told anybody
Starting point is 01:36:00 You know now when you see like those documentaries of like how people who just like broke a leg or something and then they get them addicted to pills and next thing you know they lost their family their job everything. I have many people that I know that that happened to many people that I know that got injured got on pills and just lost their lives jujitsu guys friends a lot of people especially again back before the information was available now everybody knows pain pills are super. Now everybody knows pain pills are super super addictive. Everybody knows someone in their family. Yeah. Everybody knows someone that just can't get off them. Everybody knows somebody
Starting point is 01:36:32 that died. I know multiple people that have died from pain pills. Yeah. And so that's what got them. But it's the same thing man. But that addiction is what makes you great. Yeah. Yeah. It's that thing in your head that makes you obsess on something That's what it is It's like this thing where you're trying to figure this thing out and you just want to get better at it But that could be Hijacked by gambling that could be hijacked by video games that could be hijacked by anybody anything. Let's see. I've seen this. Yeah, same guys Yeah
Starting point is 01:37:03 Um, that's that seems normal to me that like makes sense like biologically, but the gambling one is the craziest one to me Yeah, that's the weirdest one because that might as well be heroin to those people that the whatever they're getting out of like risking $100,000 on a football game Yeah, gives me so much anxiety. Oh, whenever in Vegas, when you're walking through your casino, you just see people at that slot machine. And they're just glazed over. That's like the dumbest version of it, though.
Starting point is 01:37:33 But the big, risking everything on a game, or risking everything on like, roll the dice, and craps. A roulette, fucking, yeah. Oh, a roulette. Like, that kind of thing is so nuts. It's so nuts to watch it gives me so much anxiety Like you ever see uncut jams at Adam Sandler movies one of the best movies. I've seen it a hundred times
Starting point is 01:37:50 It's so good. It's on Rihanna just shows Adam Sandler in a way of like oh this motherfucking act act act He can for real act for real act, but yeah that movie I remember being in the theater and I'm with my wife and she's squirming and I was like what's wrong You're all right, and she's like this is making me uncomfortable Derek Fucking uncomfortable uncomfortable and I'll the yeah this movie it was because it's the drill and rush you're on you feel like you're gambling Well the movie's so good it bring it locks you in like we're talking about like comedies like hypnosis that movie was like hypnosis like it locked you in to this character and his decision making and there's this addiction to gambling that he has and all the Shady characters around everybody's pulling scams and everybody in this net and there's always something happening and
Starting point is 01:38:33 There's few movies that can lock you into a character like that where you're like I don't even agree with this person and I'm so invested and at the end of the movie like what? Incredible spoiler alert It's one of those what the fuck moments. We like what the fuck? Incredible. Spoiler alert, but it's one of those what the fuck moments where you're like what the fuck? That movie, I shut it off and I was just breathing heavy for five minutes. Fuck.
Starting point is 01:38:55 Oh, and I like a movie like that too where you're like this feels real, this feels like it could happen to my neighbor, it could happen to my best friend, like this could happen to anyone. You just get lost in this. Yeah, your mind is weird, man. People's minds are strange. Like, you know, minds can go down these weird pathways
Starting point is 01:39:12 and it's like most people don't have a good management system for it either. So it's like you're driving this car with no traction control and too much horsepower and it's flying all over the road and, you know. Ah! And you're freaked out, you're always on ten like ooh yeah dude fuck another movie that makes you feel that way is there will be blood when you're watching it because that's the same where you're watching a guy just go through this life and you're
Starting point is 01:39:36 like I'm getting uncomfortable he's killing his fake brother and he's fucking you know and by the end like you said the ending of that one as well where you're like, the fuck is this? I showed this to my wife and she literally goes, Derek, why the fuck did you show me that? And I was like, you had to see it. You needed to experience this.
Starting point is 01:39:54 It's how good this movie is. I love a movie like that where you get me an experience. That's one of the greatest movies ever. Ever. For experience, just like for sheer, just becoming that guy. Yes He was that guy you believed every single second of it. There was no soap opera acting going on at all No, this is my son HW the way he talks the way he is
Starting point is 01:40:17 Oh my god Then you see like him devolve into this crazy bill because you when we see crazy billionaires We don't really and it's like to see how a person becomes a crazy billionaire because he's not a regular guy in the beginning movie falls breaks his leg in that hole you know what it means a regular dude there's a little element of that guy in everybody that's a crazy billionaire they're asked you how do you get there you have to manage that the same way everybody manages everything else like imagine like trying to manage being Elon Musk
Starting point is 01:40:47 imagine trying to manage that Imagine just trying to manage that I Don't know how he finds the time doesn't make any sense It doesn't make any sense like it doesn't even seem real like it could possibly be real Because now he works for the government along with still trying to get us to Mars and all these other cool things He's doing you know what I mean and People are scrutinizing him at a level like they want him to be perfect in every way And it's like you don't get that out of these wacky geniuses. You don't get perfect you you get Unbelievable capabilities mixed in with all kinds of flaws that even he makes fun of Like you know he's even talked openly about, like,
Starting point is 01:41:26 self-inflicted wounds that he gives himself on Twitter. He's posted about it with, like, laughter emojis. But he's having a good time, no matter what. That would be like watching the There Will Be Blood guy also tweeting his thoughts right... You would see some shit, we were like, what the fuck? Yeah, well, he's not that way. He's not like a murderous fucking psychopath
Starting point is 01:41:47 who steals people's oil. I drink your milkshake. He's not that. No, but I just, the idea, like you said, it's a little bit in him, it has to be, to conquer like that, I feel like. Well, I think his drive is different than most of them, and his drive is accomplishments and innovation.
Starting point is 01:42:05 He's obsessed with getting people to Mars. He's obsessed with the engineering involved in what they've accomplished already with SpaceX. The ability to take a booster, shoot it off into space, and then the booster comes down and lands and gets caught with robot arms is so off the charts beyond anything anyone else has accomplished in the world of rocketry and space science and all the engineering involved. It's off the charts. What SpaceX has done is it's not appreciated enough because he's so polarizing politically
Starting point is 01:42:38 because of his affiliation with Trump and because of all the propaganda that has been spun his way, there's some definite natural reactions that people have to him that are organic and real and they get upset at some of the things he does, that's real. But also there's a gigantic propaganda machine that's trying to paint him as a literal Nazi and they're doing it because they have a vested interest in keeping all these NGOs and all their funding in place exactly the same way it's always been. And having a genius go into all of your fucking booking, bookkeeping and accounting is not
Starting point is 01:43:14 good if you've been unchecked for decades and you have a fucking, just an unstoppable budget and a lot of waste and a lot of incompetence and probably a bunch of fraud and theft too. Of course. Yeah I mean they've they've acknowledged that you know. One of the things they said which is hilarious they said he found I think it was was it Social Security or Medicaid a bunch of fraud and then they were saying well actually the government had already identified this two years ago. Okay but why didn't you have this press conference? Did you just cover it up? Did you make a big deal? Did you just stop it in its tracks?
Starting point is 01:43:52 Did you reverse it? Did you prosecute people? Did you get the money back? Why are you saying, yeah, we already knew about that? Like, that's not good enough. Like, what did you do? How come you didn't find out about that $250 dollars that went to transgender animal studies? Like, you didn't notice that one? You didn't notice 21 million dollars through Iraq and Sesame Street? You didn't notice that? You didn't notice, like, fucking... Like, just so much of it is kooky. It's so much money.
Starting point is 01:44:18 And the way NGOs and nonprofits work, I didn't understand it. I didn't know that it's all like cyclical money That's like flowing around there's billions of dollars. It's just flowing around It's got a lot of it's unchecked and they've been doing it forever. And that's why we're thirty six trillion dollars in debt You know not good How how how does it get that bad? I don't know but then there's also legitimate Arguments on the other side like the other side is making a very legitimate argument about the right to due process if you get processed and shipped out of the country and put in a prison in El Salvador.
Starting point is 01:44:52 You know, what is the quote, was it Benjamin Franklin's quote about innocent and that it's better to allow 10 guilty people to go free than one innocent person arrested. You know, I'm on that side of things. Yeah. That's my, I mean, I think due process exists for a reason and the reason is it is horrific for someone to be accused of something they didn't do, be imprisoned for crimes they didn't commit,
Starting point is 01:45:20 and then live in a cell, live in a cage with a bunch of- People who did commit shit. Here it is, Benjamin Franklin. It's better 100 guilty persons should escape than one innocent person should suffer. That is wisdom that has survived hundreds of years. It's incredibly accurate and it is the foundation of freedom. We have to make sure that these people are actually guilty otherwise we become monsters. You can't like what is that when you're fight monsters be careful that you don't become one. Yeah. Yeah. That's very
Starting point is 01:45:53 important. This is very important. You know you can't do that but also you can't you also have to deal with the fact that the current administration is dealing with the past administration allowing known gang members and terrorists to go right through the border unchecked, that a lot of them they know got through. They don't know the exact numbers, but they know there's millions and millions of people illegally just walked through unchecked and a bunch of them have to have criminal records. A bunch of them have to be dangerous and we've seen crimes that have been committed. It doesn't help anybody on the progressive side to deny the fact that that's a real
Starting point is 01:46:33 problem and if it happens to your family, God forbid, I don't want it to happen to anybody's, but if it does you will feel a sting of regret if you supported that unlike anything you've ever experienced in your life. you'll be like, I mean, it's, you know, it's one of those things where to support one side of this, you have to deny some like basic human values, either way, like to support just rounding people up, and just assuming they're all gang members, I don't't not saying they're doing that but this is the worst case scenario, right? They get a bunch of people in a room They rope them all in and one guy's just someone's cousin picking someone up to give him a ride home That's possible and now you're back on the one person with now you're right back
Starting point is 01:47:17 And what if that dude is not doing anything wrong and he's got some stupid tattoos and they decide that this guy's a gang member Now now you're in a prison in El Salvador and you're not even from El Salvador and now you know you were just a hairdresser or you're a tattoo artist family man yeah you came over here and maybe you got a green card and maybe you don't maybe you were just given asylum because a lot of people from Venezuela were given asylum in America yeah and then you get shipped to El Salvador where you're not even from El Salvador. So that the fact that that exists scares the shit out of me. But also the fact that they were just letting terrorists and gang members flow
Starting point is 01:47:54 freely into the country is fucking horrible. And when you talk about innocent people, what about the innocent people that got murdered by terrorists? And well not terrorists, that really hasn't happened but gang members and this trender wagua that were taking over those apartment buildings in Aurora Colorado and like that's scary shit man armed with machine guns taking over apartment buildings like what are we talking about here like what are we talking about you you're letting that happen you're not sending in the troops to stop this yeah and you think that wouldn't in your head you're like that can't happen in America and Colorado.
Starting point is 01:48:26 Bro, they got a guy that had done that in California, and they refused to deport him because they said that California is a sanctuary state. They're like fighting to keep a known gang member free in America. The whole thing is bananas. It's like almost like you don't want to go full tin foil hat Sam Sam Tripley style and just decide that they're trying to destroy America. But if I was going to try to destroy America, that's how I would do it. I'd take over the political process, impart censorship on all the social media, gaslight people to no end, consistently do it. Astro turf stadiums filled with people
Starting point is 01:49:05 pretending they support something, pay them to be there, manufacture a movement, and slowly but surely bring chaos to all the cities. Allow DAs to get elected that are the worst when it comes to protecting people and the best when it comes to freeing violent criminals. And that's really their goal. And they can do it they could just use words like racial justice like just send out send murders back out into the streets
Starting point is 01:49:32 you just create chaos defund the police defund now now you have no police like if I wanted to destroy America I would do it this way I mean that sounded what you just described sounds like a China like a plan from another place oh if you wanted to destroy me if we really wanted to get it not with war But let's just slowly let them kill themselves type and then have them at each other's back At each other's throats rather You know constantly have them fighting over political issues. Let's get rid of Roe v. Wade They're a little too happy right now get rid of Roe v. Wade, then the liberals are up in arms
Starting point is 01:50:01 How you motherfucker which was getting rid of Roe v Wade was actually a good move if you were a Democrat because then people get upset and then they Really want to vote like you could probably ignite a lot of people and that was like There's some famous videos is one famous video of this lady celebrating that Kamala Harris is gonna win and she was like reproductive freedom Women came out to vote in unprecedented numbers. I'm sure you've seen it. It's a video of this lady mocking this guy working at a liquor store. Did you ever see it?
Starting point is 01:50:30 No, I don't see this. Whew. It's so good. It's so good because it's like this lady and the way she's talking, you can't be a good person and talk to someone this way or even about someone this way and be happy in the way you're happy.
Starting point is 01:50:45 Like, it's like, people like to be shitty to people and think that it's justifiable to be shitty if that person disagrees with you. So you can be shitty. Whereas the guy in this story is not being shitty to her at all, but she's being super shitty to this guy. And, but she's talking about reproductive rights. Because that was like one of the big things
Starting point is 01:51:04 that got people to come out and vote for The Democrats yeah, if I was day if I was playing 4d chess and I was Democrat I was like this is what we do get rid of ourselves get rid of ourselves get real side get a real set and then campaign On that okay now we got all the women pissed off because women don't want men telling them what to do bitch You can't get pregnant shut the fuck up shut the fuck up. Just shut the fuck up until you can get pregnant Shut the fuck up. the fuck up just shut the fuck shut up until you can get pregnant shut the fuck up you know it's like this or this lady you got it Jamie you find this video it's so funny it's poor lady but it's about reproductive rights like she's she's saying that and it was in a lot for a
Starting point is 01:51:36 lot of people that was a big one so you would do that you would do that you would get rid of that you would try to get rid of the Second Amendment fuck the Second Amendment we're gonna get real all the fucking gun guys get up for the Republicans, you know. And then, you know, you would say, we need open borders because we need the our society is population collapse. And they're starting to say things like that. And we need, you know, who's going to pick cotton? They're essentially for essentially marketing it
Starting point is 01:52:03 because they're saying Americans don't want these jobs So we have to bring people in to pick our crops Who's gonna clean your your toilets people are openly saying that like not realizing how racist Who's gonna clean your toilet if they get rid of all the Mexicans like what the fuck who said that? Who was it one of those crazy? You bitches one of them it'll release a show like that. Yeah One of those crazy views. You bitches. He's one of them, or at least a show like that.
Starting point is 01:52:23 You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hilarious. So there was that going on. If you wanted to destroy society and make it worse, what would you do? You bring people in from a third world country, don't have them change anything,
Starting point is 01:52:34 financially incentivize them to be there, give them free money while you're not helping the poor people in America. They were giving them debit cards, free housing, free food, putting them up in the Roosevelt Hotel in New York City Why yo shit if you want to destroy society, that's how you would do it. That's how you would do it I mean that sounds you would just keep working like it's going in that direction
Starting point is 01:52:54 So the problem with things that are going in a radical direction and send then there's an over correction So the over correction is lack of due process The over correction is like round them all up ship them to jail Like that's like some things that you say when you're not thinking things through like what do you do about all the criminals take them all Fucking send them to El Salvador. Yeah, what about due process? No fuck that well, here's the problem with fuck that What if you are an enemy of let's not say any current president, let's pretend we got a new president, totally new guy in 2028, and this is a common practice now of just rounding up gang members with no due process and shipping them to El Salvador.
Starting point is 01:53:38 You're a gang member. No, I'm not. Prove it. What? I gotta go to court. No, no due process. That's dangerous, Joe. That's dangerous. That's dangerous Joe dangerous that's dangerous that's dangerous That's we got to be careful that we don't become monsters while we're fighting monsters
Starting point is 01:53:53 but then again you got to find these motherfuckers that are here that have terrorist cells and That are ready to fucking blow up malls and Dallas and do crazy shit, which? Definitely they've thwarted before. So this is the best argument for intelligence agencies, is that there's real threats. For someone to say, fuck all the CIA, fuck the FBI, are you crazy? Who's gonna investigate real threats?
Starting point is 01:54:19 The real world exists, as much as you wanna pretend that we can all go kumbaya tomorrow if we all just lay down our arms no there's people that are 48 years old and dedicated to crime dedicated to crime in Guatemala and now they're here you know and now they're selling fentanyl and they're not gonna stop okay they don't give a fuck yeah and they're on EBT cards where you're getting money from the government for free every month Because you're in a sanctuary city Then you get free food and you're a criminal and then one of them like two of them
Starting point is 01:54:52 Assaulted cops in New York City and then got out got free no cash bail no cash bail you just get out They assaulted cops, and then they're on the street giving the Tupac to the camera ever see that First of all we got to show you the Kamala Harris lady. You got the Kamala Harris lady You can't find it. They probably scrub it from the internet. I don't I mean she's being shamed I'm not sure what to look for but you're putting the tape for hat on my head, right? We don't have to show it um it's because we've already showed it a bunch of times. It's How you would do it if you wanted to destroy America. I'm not saying, so the question becomes like how much of it is our own folly? How much of it is just natural
Starting point is 01:55:31 human behavior? How much of it is like the right wants law and order so we don't want law and order. The right wants to punish prisoners. We want to know that's it's racist racism. You know, it's like, what is it? What's just teams fighting? Yeah, but also I feel like it's manipulated as well. And maybe more so than anything else. I feel like it's manipulated. And again, if you wanted to turn this into China,
Starting point is 01:55:58 and what I mean by that is a country that's facial recognition everywhere, social credit score system that's attached to all of your banking, your ability to travel, everything you do, if you make anything online that's against the government, you could be disappeared, you could be locked up, you could be made a political prisoner. You know, this is fun.
Starting point is 01:56:22 It felt like we were heading that way. Yeah, I think this is something that, I think it was Metzger that said this. No, it was Duncan that said this about Ukraine and Russia. He was like, do you realize like the Ukrainians that we're killing or that rather the Russians that we're killing by sending over arms and money to fund the Ukrainians, not saying that we shouldn't do this, but he's saying that a lot of those guys are being forced to go to the front line.
Starting point is 01:56:49 And a lot of those guys are prisoners who get released in order to fight. So what if you're a prisoner because you wrote a bad tweet against Putin and they lock you up and then all of a sudden Ukrainians are killing you with American weapons because you tweeted bad against Putin. So it's Putin's way of like eliminating any any dissent from like and they don't even arrest that many people online in comparison to or for doing things online in comparison to the UK. The UK is getting in on it full steam ahead. The UK is arresting people for anything that makes people uncomfortable online They show up at your house and just fucking arrest you they've arrested like how many people have been arrested in the UK for?
Starting point is 01:57:34 Social media posts in the last year you you're gonna is gonna blow your mind It's gonna blow your mind. This is just posts on social media like get you know We need to send these illegal immigrants back saying shit like that. Yeah, you get arrested Arrested hate crime even if I'm joking even if I'm maybe I'm just fucking having there's no jokes What jokes online anymore not in the UK not only that but the guys ahead of the UK They're saying now that they could potentially arrest Americans who have posted things online when they visit the UK. Yeah, I was reading a post about this. Like this could this law could potentially be used in this
Starting point is 01:58:14 way. That if you are a person in America and you're posting horrible shit about the UK government or the immigrant problem or whatever they have. Context-bound available information, exact figures 2025, not fully competent. 2023. In 2023, 12,183 arrests were made across 37 police forces in the UK under Section 127 of the Communications Act 2003 and Section 1 of the Malicious Communications Act in 1988, equating to about 33 arrests per day. Laws cover sending grossly offensive, indecent, obscene, or menacing messages via electronic communication networks which includes social media posts and also DMs. DMs. So people are arrested for horrible DMs that nobody gets to see other than the friend that you're sending it to supposedly you have no idea what the context is
Starting point is 01:59:06 That's crazy into this one time recently It said that a lot of people may have been arrested but many of them are not prosecuted and released, but it's still right Okay, that's cute. It's still Horrifying because what you're doing is scaring people into compliance They don't want to be arrested again, and they certainly don't want to risk being prosecuted but they're they're forcing people to censor themselves. The judge said that they're breaking the law I don't know which right well no they do have a law that there is they don't have freedom of speech the way we have in America so they do have these hate speech laws so
Starting point is 01:59:39 they are breaking a law but the question is should that law exist and I say no no that law should not exist you shouldn't be able to put someone in a cage for saying and some of them are not that offensive some of them are pretty fucking calm oh only a 1119 sentencing's occurred for these offenses okay but the problem is now now go look at how many people were arrested in Russia For social media posts, it's drastically less But we think of Russia as being the country that censors people and China and Russia Which they do which they do you can't criticize Putin you can't go balls out. You're risking your life You're in real trouble not not excusing. But what they're doing in the UK is at a higher
Starting point is 02:00:27 level of magnitude. I mean, maybe they're not torturing people and sending them to the front line of Ukraine, but they are putting the fear of being arrested in people. You say something that they don't want you to say on social media. The jump from 2016 to 2020 is crazy. Look at Russia. 2023, 54 people. So in the time where 12,000 people were arrested in the UK, 54 people were imprisoned for online hate speech in Russia. This information isn't very...
Starting point is 02:00:58 Russia's 100% accurate with their... Easy to find. Shut up, Jamie. You don't need that. From 2010 to 2024 Novaya Gazetta Europe Reported over 30,000 criminal and administrative cases related to social media posts With about 1200 being criminal cases so they had 1200 criminal cases common charges include
Starting point is 02:01:20 Extremism inciting hatred or insulting state symbols. That's that's where it gets sketchy I can't even make fun of the flag or a monument. I can't make a lot of it. Nope insulting Making fun is insulting. There's no room for humor in a communist country Okay sucks, dude, but it's not you know, Russia's not communist really anymore. It's really It's a military dictatorship essentially. I mean, Putin was the president and he could only do a certain amount of time
Starting point is 02:01:50 and then he stopped being the president and he's like, fuck it, I'm the president again. And then no one's gonna win going against him. I mean, they have elections, but what are you doing? The guys wind up getting poisoned and shot and they're like, it's old school. Yeah, he's fucking. It's old school.
Starting point is 02:02:03 He's running that place. It's his. That's his. You're not taking over. Man, I seen that picture. Yeah, he's fucking told school. He's running that place. It's his that's his you're not taking over Man, I see that picture of him, you know shirtless on a horse. I'm like don't fuck with this dude. Yeah, he's a killer He's a former KGB killer like he's like the realties a judo black belt. He's a fucking he's a bad man Yeah, you know like you don't and he runs that country and They arrest less people Yeah, what the fuck is going on in the UK? They're leaning into the same direction
Starting point is 02:02:29 that I was talking about that was scaring me about America. I feel like there's a plot. There's a plot to diminish the fabric of society. Like, if you want, okay, let's just look at the whole overall world and is it fair? It's definitely not fair. There's clearly, there's a reason why these people in these third world countries want to come to Europe and why they want to come to America because it's better here and it's
Starting point is 02:02:53 better there and they want a better life. I get it. But why are they fleeing where they came from? Well, I don't know, friend, is we bombed the shit out of those places. We bombed the shit out of those places. We drone bombed them. We overthrew democratically elected governments with coups. There's a lot of instability that's caused by us. Like, what's our fault? We're going to take these people in. I think instead
Starting point is 02:03:17 of fucking up this one country by letting everybody come in and drag it down to a third world country, I think a better solution is figure out a way to prop up these other countries the same way, I mean, in a simplistic version of it. Like, if you want everything for yourself, but you want everything for all your boys too, and everybody gets better. The whole world gets better.
Starting point is 02:03:38 So instead of like shipping off jobs to Mexico where they get a dollar a day, maybe pay them real money. Pay them what you're supposed to be paying them. Maybe give them health care. Maybe give them, maybe if you are an American citizen and you want to hire someone to do something, you have to hire someone under the same structure of ethics that we agree to in the United States. Period. Yes. Period. For all humans all over the world. And if they're the money translates lower because the American dollar is worth more, okay, but balance it out, make
Starting point is 02:04:12 it that you know, they can afford food, they can afford housing, they can afford health care, make laws where we're and then you all of a sudden you prop up the whole world, and the whole world stops, they stop having third world countries including in the United States like why do we still have ghettos? What why have we put all this money into funding all these different things with like USAID all over the world and? The South Side of Chicago is the same amount of murders every year if not more more every year every year Baltimore same place We had a cop in once, way back in the day, that he was a cop in Baltimore, and while they were working one day,
Starting point is 02:04:53 he found a rap sheet, like a arrest sheet of all these different crimes that were committed in all these different areas from like the 1970s. And it was all the same shit that's happening today and he realized like oh my god it's never gonna end like you're never gonna fix this it's all the same problems in the same areas and nothing's being done the same drug arrests the same violence the same this the same that all in the same places and all in these areas Mysteriously all in these same areas that have been redlined during the Jim Crow era Where black people couldn't buy houses where the white neighborhoods are they had to buy houses as one area and those areas are fucked
Starting point is 02:05:33 And no one's corrected it no one's now doesn't make sense But you think that's just that that hard to let go that feeling of I have to be better than something Like yeah, it's nice to know you're doing better than somebody else. It's just something about human beings that they like that. I think it's convenient to ignore people that you're not going to profit from. If you are investing a bunch of money in green energy or you're investing a bunch of money in whatever stupid shit you're doing with windmills, someone's making money. There's a lot of people making money. There's money being exchanged. If you're fixing South Side of Chicago,
Starting point is 02:06:06 if you're creating community centers and robust education and counseling and providing mentorship and paths to jobs and giving people an opportunity to make real money that's enticing so they don't want to sell drugs or kill people, how are you making money doing that? You're not, and so people don't do it. It's that are you making money doing that? You're not. And so people don't do it.
Starting point is 02:06:26 It's that simple. But it's like what you just said. Everyone would naturally, if everyone's doing good, the world would naturally rise. Exactly. But it would take time. I guess you're right, it's not a direct profit. It would take generations.
Starting point is 02:06:35 But there's no effort being done to it. So this guy that's seeing these crimes that were committed in the same area in Baltimore in the 1970s, you know, and this is in the 2000s, he's seen the same shit. He's like, this is crazy. Like, this is just, this is, this is the real systemic racism. This is the real, like, problem in this. It's not, it's not like black people can't make it in America. No, no, no, no, no. It's like
Starting point is 02:06:57 there's an echo of past atrocities that exists in these pockets that's not being addressed. It's never been healed. addressed. It's never been healed. Yeah. It's never been healed. And there's a convenience in allowing it to stay that way. Like you can count on them to vote a certain way. If you keep giving them welfare, if you keep giving them food stamps, the people that want that are always the Democrats. So those people are always going to vote Democrat for you. So it's within your best interest to not make them like conservative Republicans or like very disciplined And work real hard and get to the gym at 430 before they show up at work at 7 and we're gonna kick some ass and make
Starting point is 02:07:31 Some fucking money Wilson, you know You know what? It's convenient because then they'll vote for you every time as soon as they start making money and realize like what does the government spending my fucking taxes? That's what changes you immediately change the moment you make some money. Oh, you become a Republican. Quick. Oh, dude. Quick. You know how many hippies that I know became Republicans
Starting point is 02:07:50 after they started making money? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because 50% of your money and you're living in a shitty, you're like, wait, I don't, hold on, what? And you're letting criminals out. You're like, what is happening?
Starting point is 02:08:00 Why does my car keep getting broken into? Like, what do you do? Why are there people camped in front of my fucking house? I gave you 50% of my money. Yeah, this is crazy. Dylan has a great bit about it. About the California offering tax breaks for people that take a homeless person into their house. Yeah, he's the man, dude. It's one of the clips that he put up, because he's got a new special that's out now.
Starting point is 02:08:21 Yeah. That he filmed at the mothership. But it's so funny and so true. It's like they're just trying to destroy society. What better way to destroy your house? You have a wife and child. What better way to destroy your house than to bring some fentanyl addict in? This is how you're gonna create more chaos.
Starting point is 02:08:37 And then California's trying to pass a new law, this is being proposed, where if someone breaks into your house and threatens your life, you're not allowed to shoot them. In your house. Imagine someone breaks in your house and threatens your life. You're not allowed to shoot them in your house Imagine someone breaks in your house is trying to get you has a knife coming towards you you're not allowed to kill them What am I allowed to do? You're supposed to run away? This hasn't passed yet, but
Starting point is 02:09:06 They know way it can that doesn't even it's so crazy, dude. It's so crazy. It's so crazy. It's almost like they're trying to destroy people's confidence in law enforcement, confidence in community, the feeling of being safe, ramp up everybody's level of anxiety, and then offer a solution. And the solution is to disarm everybody. The solution is to clamp down further and further on gun laws, make it very difficult to have a gun.
Starting point is 02:09:29 You can't have magazines more than 10 rounds. You can't conceal carry. You can't do this. You can't do that. If you have it in your car, you have to have the bullets in the trunk and the, yeah, yeah, the pistol's supposed to be locked up. Yeah, there's all these crazy laws that are just slowly but surely trying to take away your and you can say no those laws to keep people from road rage and
Starting point is 02:09:49 shootings and criminals commit crime. Laws don't stop criminals from breaking laws. Laws keep law abiding people from protecting themselves. That's damn that's the fact. That's the fact criminals gonna do it anyway they the guns illegal the fucking the identification number I've been sawed off they've also like you said they've been driven to that point if I'm at that point yeah there is no rule that's gonna stop me there's no rule have you ever seen that show traffickedfficked? Mm-mm. This is an amazing show called Trafficked. And they went down to LA and they followed these rogue cops who are bringing guns into Mexico and selling them.
Starting point is 02:10:40 Wow. Yeah. That's one of the episodes. That's fucking crazy. Yeah, Mariana Benzella. She's amazing. She's one of the episodes Yeah, Mariana Benzella's she's amazing she's been in the podcast a few times she's brilliant It's fearless this lady she went to Colombia into the jungle Where they were making coke and then went with the mules Hiked it out with backpacks full of coke they had backpacks and she followed them and hiked it out with backpacks full of coke. They had backpacks and she followed them and hiked it out. They showed her how they make the coke, where they make the coke. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:11:11 They changed the wording on this bill. Oh, interesting. This is where it's scratched out. Scratched out bars says, the bill would eliminate certain circumstances under which homicide is justifiable, including amongst others, in defense of a habitation or property. The bill would additionally clarify circumstances in which homicide is not justifiable, including among others, when a person uses more force than necessary to defend against a danger." What does that mean?
Starting point is 02:11:38 That means you shoot a guy more than once. I got to know he's down. Right, but you killed him instead of just shooting him. That's what they're saying. But you don't under, with this bill, this bill is like not understanding fight or flight and violence and the chaos of you realizing your life or your family's life. Is in great danger.
Starting point is 02:11:55 What? You just want to shoot that person. This is what it says about that part. Okay, the bill would eliminate that provision. The bill would also specify certain circumstances in which homicide is not justifiable, including when a person was outside their habitation or property and did not retreat when they could have safely done so, when a person used more force than a reasonable person would do.
Starting point is 02:12:17 So that right there, listen to that, a person was outside their habitation or property and did not retreat when they could have safely done so. Meaning if someone's breaking into your house, you're on the outside of the house, you don't go into the house to confront them. You retreat. You're supposed to retreat. What if I have family in the house? That's a good question. This rule already is like, well, this doesn't make sense. It says it specifies the circumstances, so that might be, you know. But no, but Jamie, you do in the context of the sentence The spill would also specify certain circumstances in which homicide is not justifiable including including when a person was outside their habitation or property
Starting point is 02:12:54 But it's not like it's not if you're outside. It's saying you have to try to retreat right, right But what if someone's in your home that doesn't clarify that circumstances when it still could be it's just so there's certain circumstances when it's not in your home that doesn't clarify that circumstances when it still could be it's just so there's certain circumstances when it's not justifiable It's still good be right, but the certain circumstances is listed including when a person was outside I'm just he brought up a situation. It's obvious. It's obvious. I know This is not necessary and did not retreat when they could have safely done So when a person used more force than a reasonable person, that's so subjective. You don't know what that don't know what? That's not a real thing. What about Tim Kennedy is he reasonable? What about Jaco is Jaco reasonable yeah, but people have to but people have to keep their cool
Starting point is 02:13:37 Would you say Jamie when you win a good jury to? Good luck. I'm just saying good. Why would you count on that? I'm not saying you're counting on I'm just saying that's why you want one. I didn't saying. Why would you count on that? I'm not saying you're counting on it. I'm just saying that's why you want one. I didn't say that's why you need one. I said that's why you want one. If I was a judge I'd say you're argumentative. However, the bill would specify that homicide is justifiable if the initial aggressor actually and in good faith tried to stop fighting and indicated they wanted to and tried to stop fighting as specified
Starting point is 02:14:06 or in cases of mutual combat the initial aggressor gave the opponent an opportunity to stop fighting. So if someone starts fucking you up and then gives you an opponent, gives you an opportunity rather to stop fighting and you don't, you keep fighting them and kill them. But they've already started fighting with you. They've already, like that's's you're in danger zone like to be reasonable while your life is in danger is to Open yourself up to getting fucked up because it's like no no come on man I was like bang motherfucker. Yeah, you're out cold like you're you've already engaged in violence It's so subjective whether or not you should stop or not stop like when you should stop is when that person's
Starting point is 02:14:42 whether or not you should stop or not stop. Like when you should stop is when that person's 100% incapacitated and that might mean kill them if you don't know what's gonna stop them. If you have a gun and someone is charging at you with a fucking machete and you bang, bang, bang while they're still alive and that winds up killing them, you could have just shot them once. You could be in front of a jury and they could say,
Starting point is 02:15:03 you could have stopped with the first bullet and then you have a coroner says yes the first bullet was fatal or yes the first bullet would have stopped him but he shot him two additional times. Like now you're in jail. Now you're in jail because you were terrified of your life and you thought you were gonna die and you did something in a split moment where you're not even thinking straight like you're you're To ask an accountant to keep his shit together in a month Look if you ask a Navy SEAL to keep his shit together, and they're they're fucking there bill probably like oh finally someone broke It in my house. Oh, that's what the fuck yeah Yeah, but but I'm gonna actually did try to break into Tim Kennedy's house, and he you know he didn't even hurt the guy
Starting point is 02:15:43 He just said you Made a giant mistake came up with a gun and got rid of the guy That's like those guys who start bar fights with you if like with UFC do you see those kind of? Shilling one right oh he bumps it he kind of like yeah something like dudes dancing and just being a dick Yeah, and then he gets him at the bar and just He was dancing and just being a dick. And then he gets him at the bar and just, ba-bop, ba-bop, and so quick. Dude tried to get him to flinch. He like, like.
Starting point is 02:16:07 Yeah, he jumped at him. Jumped at him and he just, ding, ding, ding. The wrong dude. You mean, that's karma. Yeah. That's almost like, those things like almost make me feel like we're in a simulation. Like that's not supposed to happen in that order.
Starting point is 02:16:21 You know, like when someone just hits a level of doucheyness and you're supposed to run into toe shilling. Yeah, that's the perfect karmic response to like negative and a positive and a thing, you know, like go in and out. We said, I just feel like we have to be really careful in this country that we don't get more divided by all this fucking political chaos that we're experiencing. We've got to be real careful, like as human chaos that we're experiencing.
Starting point is 02:16:45 We gotta be real careful, like as human beings, that we don't fall prey to that. This is not, it's not smart for anybody. No, dude. It's not smart, and we're just, so much unnecessary conflict, you know? Well it's usually, and it's just people picking that one side, and like you said,
Starting point is 02:17:01 like you can't, of course I don't think people should be coming to the country and all that stuff But I also do think women should be able to do what they want with the fucking baby in their stomach You know to be a point of course But like you said if some woman got raped and she's pregnant now like yeah, let her what are we doing right now? What are we doing? What are we doing? Where's the human aspect of it? And then also like if you don't feel for people that walked here with their babies because they just want to get a job as a landscaper.
Starting point is 02:17:27 Let them have it. But how do you know? I think the process for getting people in should be better. But it's also, it's like, how many can we support? Like, what kind of a strain is this on social security? What kind of a strain is this on Medicare? And What kind of a strain is this on Medicare? You know, have this been, and is there a way to like make where they're from better? And wouldn't that like increase revenues?
Starting point is 02:17:51 Like if all of a sudden you had another country right next door that's buying and trading and making tons of money, wouldn't that be better for everybody? Like if they stopped being a third world country and became a first world country, wouldn't that like be like super beneficial? Has that come up any of these you ain't of like how why don't we just try to? Make this place a better place. This is what you got to realize when it comes to politicians
Starting point is 02:18:13 Most of them are already dead or on their way Unless you're JD Vance. He's really young Tulsi Gabbard's young It told us the shit most of these people when you're in office like Trump is almost 80 Biden Do you see what Biden said yesterday? Jamie just hit They let him talk Something I'd be out of nowhere they look yeah. Yeah, they're letting them talk and I'm like who's letting him talk. This is crazy Here here outside of this Jamie. It's so silly. He's he's fucking gone, bro. He's gone. They let him talk
Starting point is 02:18:50 They just let him get out in the open and put a microphone in front of his place his face But I guess like as a former president you can kind of request I like a speak my mind One day just had just a my mind One day just had just a Enough mixture they filled them up with enough peptides got a little pep in a step. Oh good. Yeah, there's a former president Partly About things listen give me some volume and go full screen because this is you got to see his face
Starting point is 02:19:26 And I had never seen I never seen hardly any black people scranton at the time. And I was only going in fourth grade. And I remember seeing the kids going by at the time, called colored kids on a bus going by. They never turned right to go to Claymont High School. I wondered why. Asked my mom, why? So in Delaware, they're not allowed to go to school,
Starting point is 02:19:45 in public school, with white kids, honey. That sparked my sense of outrage as a kid, just like it does, I mean, and these young kids right here can tell you, things affect them when they learn about something that's really just unfair and un-jealous. You know, my dad, my dad was an honorable man. My dad used to have an expression.
Starting point is 02:20:08 He said, Joey, your job is about a lot more than a paycheck. It's about your dignity. It's about respect. It's about being able to look your kid in the eye and say, honey, it's going to be okay. You mean it. That's what you're all about. That's what the legislation is about. It's about
Starting point is 02:20:27 dignity. Simple dignity. Everyone, everyone deserves to be treated with dignity, regardless of the standard, regardless of the economic system, regardless of who they are. Yeah. Making sure that more than 60 million Americans who are living with disabilities are treated with dignity is who we are as Americans. That's what it's about. I hope he does more. We should have him at the mothership. Yeah, we gotta let him go up. Give him 10. Give him an hour. At school in their communities. Give him a drink drink you might die Laws like the ADA
Starting point is 02:21:10 Need advocates like okay Go you can tell he got something he took something that morning. He was fired up good. They got him on a good dose nice nap nice But it's crazy to let him do that because now we know he wasn't really running the country Yeah, we used to think he was actually running the country now like no he didn't even see those executive orders like that was all auto penned He didn't sign those things. It is crazy. That's a weird auto pens weird thing. How lazy you bitch? How many how many how many things he's signing that you have to auto pen things?
Starting point is 02:21:42 That's crazy that you can auto it the whole thing is supposed to be signature. That's that's your job That's also that's the thing. That's your job. You read it you go over and make sure it's right and you sign it What are we paying? I don't understand. What are we doing? What are we doing? How are you auto pen and shit? That's the crazy thing about all those pardons There's like how many pardons do you have I think you had 9,000 pardons and it was all auto penned So it's like everybody was like this if I had to imagine like worst-case scenario. I'm not assuming or Accusing anybody doing this, but I would imagine if you got a hold of that auto pen be like yo yo yo I got the auto pen Who needs all the boys is out I need money
Starting point is 02:22:24 Yeah, I'm trying to get rich and you're trying to get free and let's get something rolling But I mean how many first of all if you can't be tried because they decide that you're mentally incapable of standing trial That's what they said about him. They were gonna try him on some classified documents case They were going to try him on some classified documents case. They said the judge ruled that he was incapable of standing trial while he was running for president for the second term. While he was running for president, they were saying he's incapable of standing trial. So if we're saying that there's something wrong with him cognitively, but we're still
Starting point is 02:23:00 allowing him to give people pardons like if he can't If he's not sane enough if he's not there enough To stand trial to defend himself. How could he be there enough to decide whether or not someone deserves a pardon that seems insane And then how could you use the auto pen? He's like what about that guy? Yes, pardon him. What about that guy? Let him off for you just for he deserves He's like what about that guy yes pardon him what about that guy let him off for you just reheated 9,000 there's no way if you have all the time in the world. How are you going over 9,000 cases? Or the marijuana releases well, that's nice federal how many of them would can you see 500 or so? Oh, that's nice But auto pinning it is when you think about what that means that it's crazy. That's crazy. Yeah
Starting point is 02:23:50 It's just is that shit for sale? Parts are crazy. Anyway, you just let somebody out of jail cuz you're the king. I'm the king fucking fuck that fuck that Trial. Yeah, fuck that jury. I like that guy. You're free, bro. I don't mind it. Yeah. That's crazy power. Let people out of jail.
Starting point is 02:24:11 In mass numbers. What was the total? I'm trying to find the exact number. Okay. Because 9,000. 6,500 I agree with. I agree with all those marijuana ones. Well, that's not a real thing.
Starting point is 02:24:24 I feel bad. That's the craziest shit that there were people in Colorado that were in jail for selling marijuana Looking out the window of their prison to marijuana dealerships selling marijuana legally and nice packaging Nice barcodes on it cartoon characters smiling characters smiling when they're high on them. Snoop Dogg on the cover of a bag. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:24:48 See, that's the good thing about progressive governments, right? Progressive governments like Colorado, they realize that people's right to experiment with all kinds of different things, including alcohol. But also, you should have the freedom to take things. You should have the freedom to explore your own consciousness. And Colorado agreed with that real early. You know, that's the good thing about progressive governments. And that's the bad thing about
Starting point is 02:25:14 a lot of conservative governments. They want to stop you from doing that. You know, they want to prosecute people for that fucking grass, that dirty dirty, where's your dope? You're fucking dope. Yeah, they don't like it when your mind opens up a little bit, but you said it earlier Oh, man, if we could just get everybody on mushrooms everybody might love each other and all these things. Yeah, that is scary I think that way though 8,000 a Record-setting number includes a collective act of over 6,500 individuals for marijuana possession convictions So it's really not like he has more than anybody else
Starting point is 02:25:48 Yeah, just looks like yeah, it looks like more than everybody else Because it's just 6,500 he actually only released 1500 then yeah, look at Andrew Johnson So even then 2500 not pretty normal Yeah, like how many did? Almost 2000 what about Trump he did 1500 on the first day cuz there all the January 6 people How come trapped in free Joe exotic? Let him go King three
Starting point is 02:26:27 Only 237. That's not a lot. Oh so the new one, when he came back he pardoned 1500 individuals connected to the general. They keep saying capital riots. But Andrew Johnson, 8000. Pardons. That's what it said. Andrew Johnson, 1900s. Hold those bitches
Starting point is 02:26:48 silver coins But that's crazy that pardons were going back all the way to George Washington Yeah, how many to George Washington have? A lot, right? 1700, is that what it said? Good old George. Yeah. It's crazy. I just got into that stuff because I saw Hamilton like two weeks ago for the first time.
Starting point is 02:27:16 Oh yeah? You ever seen that? No. Is it good? Brother. You see it on Broadway? Brother. No, I saw it on, they brought it to Texas Bass Concert Hall.
Starting point is 02:27:25 And then in these last three weeks I have studied everything. I'm addicted to it, bro. Really? Joe? Derek? It's the second greatest piece of art to ever be art. What's number one? Harry Potter books.
Starting point is 02:27:37 I wish you were here for this argument, Joe. Harry Potter books is number one. When this happened. When he was going off at Metis about this. Well, these motherfuckers was trying to bring up the Bible. It's like, get the fuck out of here, dude. Harry Potter books is number one. When he was going off at Metis about this. Well, these motherfuckers was trying to bring up the Bible. It's like, get the fuck out of here, dude. Harry Potter books are number one. When this happened. When he was going off at Metis about this.
Starting point is 02:27:45 Oh, really? Well, these motherfuckers was trying to bring up the Bible. It's like, get the fuck out of here, dude. Harry Potter's better than the Bible? Not even close. Really? It was, Joe, it's already the second greatest selling book of all time, and it's only been out since 1997.
Starting point is 02:27:59 Think about that. That is pretty crazy. I'll tell you what, my kids are addicted to it. When I read it, I read it like a month ago. I just found out about both these things. Really? Did you just hear about it a month ago? I knocked it all out.
Starting point is 02:28:12 Wow. I knocked the whole thing out. How is it? It's the greatest thing I've ever read. Is it better than the movie? It's not even close. And I love the movies. Movies are great.
Starting point is 02:28:20 But it's so fucking good and so in-depth and so, I mean it's the classic hero story, you know, a hero's tale, but it's so fucking good. And re-reading it and just how deep the characters are and how incredible it is, it's beautiful. But Hamilton is number two, greatest art. And I mean, when I say art, I mean anything ever written, painted, musically sung.
Starting point is 02:28:42 Really? One, two. Wow. And then the Bible? Maybe the Departed. Departed might be three. You haven't seen Departed, man. When that elevator opens up and Leo gets his head blown off,
Starting point is 02:28:54 I think, oh, I feel it still. Departed might be three. Oh, you just killed all your credibility. He took Departed over Apocalypse Now. Oh, Apocalypse Now, that's great. How dare you take Departed over Apocalypse Now. I over Apocalypse Now. Oh Apocalypse Now, that's great. I love Apocalypse Now. How dare you take to parted over Apocalypse Now. I love Apocalypse Now.
Starting point is 02:29:08 But Hamilton Joe. That good. Brother, it's so, if you like history, because I'm not a history guy. I'm not Hassan, me and Hassan talk about, because he loves history. And I know what I know, but I'm not looking for it. I watched this shit, man. It was so cool. Everything is educational.
Starting point is 02:29:24 The whole thing, and you think it's gay because it's like oh, it's a musical Everyone's black like why is Thomas Jefferson black? You know what I think everyone in the play is black and they're all playing these guys Thomas Jefferson Washington But everything is singing the whole thing is singing so the writing is incredible And it's literally the story of Alexander Hamilton, and I had no idea how important this man was He was an orphan and then you know that the ends of course with the and I had no idea how important this man was. Wow. He was an orphan, and then you know, it ends of course with the duel between him and Burr,
Starting point is 02:29:50 which is insane, you know, Burr was vice president when he killed the treasurer. Really? Hamilton was treasurer, and he killed him in a duel while he was vice president. That's crazy. Because they had 15 years of beef, and you get to see why they've been beefing.
Starting point is 02:30:06 It's just two ideologies of this man grew up orphan, mom died, dad left him. He's from the Caribbean, Alexander Hamilton. He's just an absolute genius who had to come out of the absolute mud. Aaron Burr is a trust fund kid who is a politician through and through. He was raised to be a politician
Starting point is 02:30:22 who never played, you know, his cards are close to his chest and he never shows anybody what he's thinking. True politician. Hamilton's a wild guy. I mean everything from just the way, he didn't like how Hamilton always is talking and Hamilton is a loud guy and he's just rambunctious
Starting point is 02:30:38 and didn't follow the rules of politics. He was very wild card and he was also young. And Burr was like, no, you do it this way, you do it this way, that's how you're supposed to do it. So that happened for 15 years. And then the what made him kill him was Burr was going to be president. He was going against Jefferson. Jefferson and Hamilton had been beefing. They hate each other. But Hamilton didn't like Burr so much because he said at least Jefferson stands for something. And the last vote to make Jefferson president over Burr was Hamilton.
Starting point is 02:31:07 And so that, and then of course he talked some more shit about him and then Aaron Burr was like, we're dueling, fuck you. With musket guns. Musket guns. Those old school bullshit guns. Because he shot, Burr, I mean Hamilton wasn't trying to kill him, he shot over his head,
Starting point is 02:31:21 because that was like a thing you do if you weren't trying to kill somebody, but you were like, I'm letting you know, but we're dueling, but I'm not trying to kill you. Right. But he didn't know because he shot first. Burr just thought he missed. So he shot him right in the fucking stomach, right in the wrist, killed him. And it was at the same, it was like a few miles away, maybe like near right near the same spot where Hamilton's son died three years before. Like the law, that law, knowing when it's too much,
Starting point is 02:31:44 like he could have just shot over him. Could have. The other guy shot over him. But I thought you just missed. How am I supposed to know? I thought you were trying to kill me. I thought you were trying to kill me. Exactly.
Starting point is 02:31:52 And no one saw it because, you know, so to have a duel you had to have other people there. You had to have a doctor, you had to have, two people had to have representatives, all this stuff. But everyone turns around. So that way there's no, no one could go to prison for it. So they tried Burr for it, but there's no eyewitness. And it ruined the rest of Burr's life.
Starting point is 02:32:07 The rest of Burr's life because everyone loved Hamilton. Because Hamilton was George Washington's right hand man. He fucking is one of the main reasons we won the Revolutionary War. I remember when David Letterman got caught for cheatin' and was like, well I'm gonna go out, I'm not gonna get blackmailed. I'm gonna go out and say, hey I cheated on my wife.
Starting point is 02:32:22 Get the fuck outta here, I'll take the heat. Hamilton was the first guy to do that. Really? Thephlets where a woman did the same thing a woman he fucks this lady and Her husband comes up to him later and is like hey you owe money. You know, I mean like the husband's like hey you fuck my wife I know you fuck my wife. I know who you are. You can you can keep fucking her I think she's a whore too, but I won't set it but I want money really. Yep. And then of course money I don't know. I I want money really yep, and then of course money I don't know what kind of deal $30, but I don't know what that was at 7800 I could go back and talk to Hamilton like give him the money man It's cool. He wanted he wanted continuous money. How much I don't know the number exactly, but I think it was this lady
Starting point is 02:32:58 How far is she apparently she was pretty good if you can keep this relationship going? Apparently she was pretty good if you can keep this relationship going Beneficial to everybody involved everyone you just need a little money. Oh, okay. You're not even mad Yeah, and you got the money you Hamilton Spend that money spend them fun coupons But I think he also still you wanted to he didn't like that Uh the other politicians were using it over like hey We found out that you were doing this that and what they all monsters are that you were doing this, that. And we get.
Starting point is 02:33:22 But weren't they all monsters back then? They were all monsters. I mean they all fucking owned slaves. They owned slaves. They owned slaves. They all owned slaves. That's what's the craziest thing. The moral high ground of the beginning of this country.
Starting point is 02:33:30 We were getting away from these evil, we got slaves! What are you saying? Everybody's a monster. Yeah, Washington's the most loved, had the most. It's like everywhere you go there's hypocrisy. You know, like did you ever see that thing when Don Lemon was talking to this lady
Starting point is 02:33:45 about reparations for slavery? You ever see that thing? Oh my God, please find this. Don Lemon is talking to this British lady about reparations for slavery and she lays out the beginnings of slavery to Don Lemon and you see Don Lemon's dumb ass like, oh, very interesting.
Starting point is 02:34:02 Watch this. You didn't know? It's just, he was saying something that, you know, there should be reparations for slavery. I think it's a political talking point at this point, Tom. I think there's people that still think that people today should get money because their ancestors were slaves. I totally understand that argument.
Starting point is 02:34:21 However, what this lady's saying, did you find it? It just has like a five-second thing and that talks about the whole but there's a video I watched it yesterday I'm just saying it didn't have it okay I bet on YouTube it's available yeah Don Lemon for a smart guy seems like no he's not idiot sometimes yes I look smart there's other people reporting on it. Okay, let's hear it though And then you have those who are asking for reparations for colonialism and they're wondering you know a hundred billion dollars twenty four billion dollars here and there five hundred million there some people want to Be paid back and and members of the public are wondering why are we suffering when you are?
Starting point is 02:35:03 You know you have all of this vast wealth? Those are legitimate concerns. Well, I think you're right about reparations in terms of if people want it though, what they need to do is you always need to go back to the beginning of a supply chain. Where was the beginning of the supply chain? That was in Africa and when, across the entire world, when slavery was taking place, which was the first nation in the world that abolished slavery? The first nation in the world to abolish it. It was started by William Wilberforce, was the British. In Great Britain, they abolished slavery. Two thousand naval
Starting point is 02:35:35 men died on the high seas trying to stop slavery. Why? Because the African kings were rounding up their own people. They had them on cages waiting in the beaches. No one was running into Africa to get them. And I think you're totally right. If reparations need to be paid, we need to go right back to the beginning of that supply chain and say, who was rounding up their own people and having them handcuffed in cages?
Starting point is 02:35:57 Absolutely, that's where they should start. And maybe, I don't know, the descendants of those families where they died in the high seas trying to stop the slavery that those families Should receive something too. I think at the same time Look at the dumbass No history in his mind he's like scouring his mind for an argument Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna check out on that. He wanted to amazing he didn't he wasn't ready for that uses in his ear wrap it up done I'm gonna commercial gonna find oh, yeah when the woman brought up the ships and everything
Starting point is 02:36:31 You're like, oh, we got a nose-embroider commercial on that wrap it up Yeah, that's the dirty thing about it. It's like there's people were monsters Yeah, there's Irish for slaves forever people were indentured servants. They're brought over here They use people been monsters forever and instead of doing that now now They're you know picking fruit picking lettuce. Yep, you know with no health care for two dollars Yeah, and we're shipping jobs over to there So they work in these factories there were 16 hours a day for a dollar an hour or a dollar a day sometimes Joe when I was in Abu Dhabi one of the drivers who was taking us somewhere. He said uh He was happy he was happy because his family lives back in Lebanon or wherever they live
Starting point is 02:37:19 But he was happy because he just got a raise to like two dollars an hour from the dollar but I mean Joe, you'd have thought he was a millionaire now. He was like, oh my God, like, it's like a 50 cent raise. But he was like, the things I'll be able to do for my family back in Lebanon and all this stuff. And it was like, holy shit. Holy shit, yeah.
Starting point is 02:37:39 And then you're there and everything there is beautiful and pristine and everything seems like the richest things in the world. And they were really nice to us and it was awesome because we were getting to do the rich things. But when you were talking to that guy, I vividly remember that conversation because of how truly happy he wasn't.
Starting point is 02:37:53 In his head, he was like, this is great, $2 an hour. His expectations were very low. Yeah. That's the reality when people like Bernie Sanders talk about oligarchs. If you're gonna have halves, extreme halves, just by the nature of the reality, like when people like Bernie Sanders talk about oligarchs. If you're going to have halves, like extreme halves, just by the nature of the world, you're going to have have-nots. And the disparity between halves and have-nots is off the charts.
Starting point is 02:38:15 And it's probably only going to get bigger. That's what's really kind of scary with AI and the ability to generate wealth and what you're going to be able to figure out and do and the ability to generate wealth and what you're gonna be able to figure out and do and the different ways that people are gonna be able to manipulate markets and dominate certain industries with AI, I think the have and have nots, and then you're gonna have also automation,
Starting point is 02:38:38 which takes over everything. So all these jobs. Gone. Bro, I was just driving. Have you ever, like like we're not gonna be driving much longer dude I don't think my kid there about that I don't think my kids gonna know driving I think I think they'll know like no you just everyone has an automated car yeah check this out I'm gonna share this with you Jamie I
Starting point is 02:38:56 did this yesterday in my car my car just drives itself dog just drives itself if you have a Tesla and if I put in my address I go to boot I press these buttons and it just takes off it stops at red lights it changes lanes it like slows down when the traffic slows down speeds up when the traffic speeds up you could completely check out if you wanted to totally check out you could totally check I don't do it I keep my hand near it I'm still freaked out You know you've been driving your whole life. Yeah, it's also just feels weird, but it does it
Starting point is 02:39:31 You got the video does it well to So does it show things on the screen on my screen oh how dare you What does it show like my address no I'd show stuff that I don't want shown on oh, oh, I see okay here. It is check this out. This is me in the car yesterday I'd like to do it all the time, but every now and again It's pretty wild and changes lanes It hits the blinkers see look it sees all those cars. That screen, it's representative of all the cars.
Starting point is 02:40:08 It knows where all the cars are. Look, it's changing lanes. It hits the blinker and changes lanes to get around these trucks. It's the future. Wild. It's over. How wild is that? It shows you on the screen on the front
Starting point is 02:40:22 where your dashboard is, it shows you all the cars around you all of them It keeps track of them. It knows how fast they're going to that guy passed me on the left that shows that Why he's flying by you so it's like oh, no it knew the speed and rate that he was going and it knew that There was an open lane, so it hit the blinkers and it changed lanes And it knows his people behind me. it knows his people to the right of me No, it stops at red lights dude, then speeds up again stops at stop signs It sees the cars to the left and cars to the right knows when to go and you can just kind of check out
Starting point is 02:40:57 Just like hold your hand like this Think about your life Have the robot drive you around That is just gonna be everywhere. Yeah, everyone's gonna be driving in these robot taxis Have the robot drive you around. That is just going to be everywhere. Everyone's going to be driving in these robot taxis. You're not going to own a car. Like this is what the World Economic Forum wants.
Starting point is 02:41:13 You will own nothing and you'll be happy. You'll be like that man who has two dollars an hour and so happy. All your food will be free. You don't need a job. That's where the have and have nots get sketchy. Because when automation takes over, they don't worry. We'll give you universal basic income.
Starting point is 02:41:30 And some they give universal basic income to everybody. So everybody's reliant 100% on the government now. And then there's people that own all the electric taxi companies and own all the computer factories and own all the AI companies and the semi trucks that'll be automated those are the oligarchs those are the haves and the haves never want to give that up they always want more and more and more they always want to keep winning that game they want to stack
Starting point is 02:41:58 they want to be the first trillionaire they want to just keep stacking then it goes your family and your family. And then all of a sudden you're like, oh, maybe we can, our family could be president one day. Our family now can. I drink your milkshake. That's it, man. What a callback.
Starting point is 02:42:14 That's exactly what it is. That's it, man. It's a natural human dominator instinct. It's a tribal dominator instinct. And it's just applied to fiat currency and Bitcoin and financial power and influence, and they want to control social media, and we're going to give everybody a vaccine. It's nuts.
Starting point is 02:42:35 You know those Waymo's? This is how I know it's going to be having that. You know those Waymo's cars, those self-driving cars? If you order one, it's still the same price as an Uber, pretty much. So it's like, where's this money going, right? I thought the money was going to the driver, right? Like I thought okay, I'm giving half the money to the company probably half the matter or whatever However, they split it. But so now you're telling me there's no driver, but the price is so you're not gonna lower the price, right?
Starting point is 02:42:56 Where is this extra money going in their pockets? John is scared profitable because they're gonna do that with semi trucks. Yeah, they're gonna do whatever they like and then they're gonna try to pass legislation To stop driving You shouldn't be able to drive because their money is in driving you around. Why should you be able to drive? You're dangerous you cause that's just a klee statistically humans cause all these accidents You drink humans do this bro. That's how they can get you. That's why they're saying, you know We don't need beef cows are destroying the environmentows are responsible for climate change and what a convenient thing I have here my plant-based meals my plant-based burgers You need unstoppable meat
Starting point is 02:43:35 But it'll be like animal farm because they'll still be eating cat they'll be eating The top people are gonna eat cheese and the nice fun things bro. They're gonna be eating dodo bird burgers and the nice fun things. Bro, they're gonna be eating dodo bird burgers. They're eating Siberian tiger loin. They're having a good time carving up some rhino steaks. They're a bunch of monsters. And you know the whole market for rhino horns, you know what that market's for?
Starting point is 02:44:03 It's rich people that want to get off on the fact that they're drinking tea from an endangered species. That's what's, the rhino horns, that's what they're valuable for. That's why people are killing people. They're killing people so that they can kill the rhinos, they can cut their horns off so they can sell them to Asia where very wealthy people get off on the fact that they're drinking a rhino horn tea
Starting point is 02:44:28 And they think it makes your dick hard. Yeah, they do think it makes your dick hard, which is hilarious Yeah, you know about Viagra bitch But if like there's way better ways, you don't have to kill the rhino But that's not the point the point is they want to kill the rhino so that they they get this forbidden thing. We're responsible for extinction here as we sip this tea That's how people get that's like the type of people that want exclusive things No, oh, yeah, that's that. That's it. I want to watch people darkness man. That's darkness. That's real human beings will do that They will drink rhino horn tea. That's the only market for rhino horns They're not valuable
Starting point is 02:45:07 It's not like tusks like elephant tusks are made out of ivory and ivory is very valuable and they use it for all kinds of different things they always used to use it for ornaments they used to make pool balls out of ivory and Then they stopped allowing people to sell ivory and then you could only buy like pre-ban ivory in America. But that makes sense, because you're killing an animal for this one thing that's a commodity, and it's fucked up. But the rhino horn don't even make sense.
Starting point is 02:45:37 Like you're killing an animal just so you could drink the tea? That's crazy, and they're almost extinct. Also to kill such a like my gesture a critic wow This is a fucking animal crazy looking creature man like it doesn't look like it belongs in this time It looks like it's not a dinosaur days. I read this thing yesterday about you heard the bear. That's called the boss. Oh Yeah, that one bear. That's he's got like thousands of kids It was like run it back. Run it back you bitch ass train. Fuck this train. I'm going to knock this motherfucker off the tracks this time. He got hit by a train twice, has all the cubs, and apparently
Starting point is 02:46:13 eats other bears sometimes just to let the mother remind people because he's so old. The young bears triumph. So he eats them sometimes just to be like I got to let everybody know. Bears eat bears. That's real common. Yeah, they eat cubs. It's real dark. A friend of mine saw it. He saw my friend Jonathan up in Alberta. He saw a bear and the sow and the boar were fighting. So males, the boar, females, the sow. They were fighting because the bear, the male was trying to kill the cubs. And so the female's trying to fight him off. And eventually she can't fight him off and she retreats. And he gets ahold of one of the cubs, and so the female's trying to fight him off, and eventually she can't fight him off, and he gets ahold of one of the cubs and kills it,
Starting point is 02:46:48 and then she scares him off of the cub that he killed, and then she eats the cub. She eats her own cub. Once it's dead, she's like, I'll just eat it. Why do you think Adam just, is food? It's like, fuck it. Just food, once it's dead, it's just food. Bro. That's fucking- You it's dead. It's just food
Starting point is 02:47:08 You think you think two dollars an hour is hard Bears and shit non-ghettos like you think it's hard I go outside every day thinking I'm gonna get eaten dealing with the boss bear Yeah, well, that's what happens. Also when you have that's how nature balances out ecosystems, right? Because if there's no natural predators for bears, they they have to they have to eat themselves Just as nothing can eat a grizzly bear. Yeah have to eat each other That's the only way they keep the population keep it to keep it So all there's still some salmon and some other things left everybody else So when when cubs are born, there's two things that happen one
Starting point is 02:47:42 Well, there's three things one happen. One, well, there's three things. One, the male thinks of them as food. So he wants to kill them for food, like they hunt them, they go into the dens, when the males come out of hibernation early, they go into dens to look for cubs to eat them. They know they do that for food. Two, they try to bring the female into estrus again. So if they can kill the cubs, then the female want to breed so she can have more cubs. And so it'll the the female so that she'll want to breed again and then three is competition They look at those cubs as potential future competition So it's all these Horrible ways that this beautiful nature nature is amazing
Starting point is 02:48:19 Nature is a fucking bloodbath It's a bloodbath even the the grass is screaming. They found out that grass screams now. Plants make noise when you're eating them. They just can't move. That's too much. The fact that we are the apex because you were saying some yesterday we were talking we were saying how like it's crazy to think that aliens wouldn't think we're interesting. Yeah, that's that dumb argument that I had with Neil deGrasse Tyson, like what are you saying?
Starting point is 02:48:49 Because when you think about like, man, we are the top dog on this planet, that's interesting in itself. Different than everything else here. If you're gonna study anything anywhere in the fucking universe, of course you would study human beings. If you're gonna study anything,
Starting point is 02:49:02 you would go, what is this wild, crazy, territorial primate with nuclear weapons and cell phone addictions? What is this? And they're soft, we can easily be killed easily. And we're still top dog. And they might have made us. They might have engineered us son. That's a real on the table, less than 0% or more than 0% possibility. We might have been genetically engineered.
Starting point is 02:49:28 It's a real possibility. It's a real possibility when you look at other primates and us, like, what happened here? What happened here? How are our cousins still roaming around barefoot, covered in hair? Yeah. You know?
Starting point is 02:49:43 Swinging from trees, eating bananas. And we are somehow or another flying rockets with an all-chick crew. And then land in a parachute. It's like, what? Why are we so different? And why we keep seeing UFOs? Like, what the fuck is going on here?
Starting point is 02:50:00 And we control it. We control the tigers, the things that could kill us. And we're like, no, we're in charge. Yeah, we're in charge bitch ass water balloons Yeah, basically blood balloons sticks holding it all together Compared to things that are fucking built like trucks Yeah Every like a rhino like how the fuck is a rhino in danger for its stupid horn when our bitch asses are ones killing the right?
Starting point is 02:50:20 Oh, yeah, dude doesn't mean make any sense. We're not even eating them just killing them and sawing off their fucking horns That would be yeah, if you're an alien you're like they do what you see what they're doing now to rhinos to prevent this They dart him and saw their horns off first so that no one wants to kill them. How fucked up is that? How fucked up have you seen that no But the rhino must need the horn and like for the protection for like it must Need in some way want to fight. Yeah, they want to fight other rhinos and fight off lions and shit like that Yeah, they need that horn. I mean the reason why they have it. Yeah Yeah, they evolved out this giant fucking weapon in the middle of their face. So to cut it off
Starting point is 02:51:02 Launch lines Fuckers yeah lines Like fuck you bro try getting through this But yeah to cut that off What does that do to the runner can it live out? Yeah, it lives fine Okay, it lives fine, but it just doesn't have a weapon anymore But it also is not attractive to the main monster which is humans And humans that just wanted to drink a tea to get your dick hard just get rocked up Whoa, bricked. It's only work. I don't think does it work. I don't know. There's rhino horn
Starting point is 02:51:31 It might be one of them ancient Chinese secrets. It's legit. Does rhino horn get your dick hard How dare you I have a you know Ron Taylor comedian? Afro he's in the green mother ship. He told me took it one time. He's like man I couldn't see anything but my dick was fucking really touching the ceiling. He took rhino horn. He took but like the gas station I don't know that's not Red band pills No, but he said he couldn't see but man his dick was hard. He said you can feel it. Oh, yeah No, no, no, no, no, that's like Rhino
Starting point is 02:52:01 2000 those gas station boner pills. Yeah, those are legit Rhino 2000 those gas station boner pills. Yeah, those are legit sometimes But I mean you want to talk about taking a chance on your life like who knows what's in there Who knows what's in there? That was another thing. I was reading about like Chinese illegal vapes Like like bootleg vapes that have entered into this country Yeah, like pretending to be like legitimate companies that are selling vapes And they're just using fucking gutter oil and who knows what the fuck's inside of those things people are getting sick from them Yeah, that no one gives a fuck about you man Most of the world most the world is trying to get them dollars get them dollars. Oh fuck the world
Starting point is 02:52:40 Oh fuck that man all right Derek tell everybody about your special. This is what we talked this whole time. Didn't tell anybody about your special. We didn't, but my brother, first thing I ever put out, man, I'm really excited. First thing I ever put out, dawg. I'm excited for people to see it. And then, don't tell, I really appreciate them, and I feel like they're the new premium blend
Starting point is 02:52:58 or Comedy Central Presents. Like, back in the day, you know, that era, you know? Because I feel like Killtonyoni is a mix between like, Late Night and America's Got Talent. It's like a different thing. Whereas this is for like, guys who are more my age, who are like, all right, big companies really don't want them. And you can put it on YouTube yourself,
Starting point is 02:53:15 but do you have the money to make something that looks nice? We'll make it for you and get you your first, so you can have your first thing out. And where can people watch it? YouTube. There's YouTube. Don't Tell Comedy. There it is. It's out. Beautiful is beautiful. Oh my god. Yeah, very happy for you brother. Very happy I've been watching you grow since you came to Austin. It's been beautiful It's a bit amazing and knowing you from the Comedy Store
Starting point is 02:53:34 You one of the first guys to take the chance coming out here. We all just said fuck it Yeah, don't wound up together and we were right We were right we were fucking so right. We're having so much fun. I mean, even Joey's gonna be here tonight. It's old school days. Yeah, Joey's here tonight. It's old school days. Yeah, Joey's here tonight.
Starting point is 02:53:50 Very, very excited. And you know, Joey's performing here. Moon Towers in town. Todd Glass was there last night. That was great. It's been, Joe DeRosa moved here now too. He's the fucking best. I love him, man.
Starting point is 02:54:01 We are having so much fun, man. We're having so much fun. It's the best, dude. I appreciate you, brother. I appreciate you, Joe. Thank are having so much fun, man. It's the best. I appreciate you, brother. I appreciate you, Joe. Thank you so much for this, man. Thank you. My pleasure. Everybody, go check it out. It's on YouTube right now. Derek Poston on Instagram and everywhere else.
Starting point is 02:54:15 Everywhere else, yes. Bye, everybody. Bye!

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