The Lesser Dead - Stains - Season 1 - Episode 4

Episode Date: June 6, 2023

We learn more about Joey and Margaret’s complicated history together. The little vampire kids are afraid to reveal their Maker to Margaret, so she tasks Joey and Cvetko with coaxing the information out of them. After a “meal” at the Bakers and a field trip to “Star Wars”, they finally name the culprit, and it’s worse than Joey could have imagined. 

Echoverse Echoverse presents The Lesser Dead You ever find three little British vampire kids in a castle with a live guy tied to a chair and you watch them kill him? Yeah, me neither until tonight. Now I'm taking him back to Margaret, who want to find out who turned him in a vampire so we can kill their ass.

Or asses. It's just about 5 a.m. when we get back to the loops. Margaret has us come to her apartment for a private powwow with her in her muscle. Old boy and Ruth. I like old boy, okay. He was a soldier. Did Harry shit deep in and before he came on the god turn? I get why he's creepy. Ruth is just naturally creepy. Old school New Yorker, some kind of stuff for jet or something. Dower as fuck. So what have we got here? A trio of very young nocturnals.

Is this a scary Irish lady? Hey, I never said she was scary. My hearing is quite good, you'll find. As suppose I am a fright at those who need frightening, but to those in want of help or comfort and deserving of it, I can be a very good friend. So what are your names? You first, Blondie. Peter. You? Short of Blondie. Alfie. Girelene. It's your turn. What? You haven't told us your name. Ha ha ha ha. I like this one, I do.

Now Margaret hunkers down so she's face level with a kid. Something I never saw her do before. And she puts on a voice I barely remember. The voice she had before she was turned. We got history, me and Margaret, but that's for another time. The point is, she could actually be sweet when she wanted to.

I had forgotten. Well, little chisler, I am Margaret with Manus, once of Candy Wicklow, later Brooklyn, now of Manhattan. You can see that I'm working my way down. Now tell us your name like a good girl.

Camilla. How's that? Carmilla? Carmilla. Now are. Carmilla. Got it. So who are you guys? How did you get here?

From, I guess, England or something? Maybe Australia? Not Australia. They're in English. Are you family to each other? You look as... Brother two. Brother one. you family to each other? You look at it. Brother to. Brother one, who's a system? She's quite a friend.

Stop it. This isn't silly time. How long have you been in New York? He he he he. Days and days, nights and nights. Right. So peace is the oldest. Alfie's next.

Camilla's the smallest, but she's in charge. That's as it should be. Now, to brass tax. Who turned you into what you are? You do know what you are, no, yeah? Yes. Can you tell me who did this to you? Go on. It's okay.

The monster man. What's that, Peter? He's big and he's mean. So he's a monster man. He calls us his brood. It's okay I would like to speak to this fine gentleman. I would like it very much. What did he tell you to call him? You can tell us, can't you? Gonzalo. Gonzalo? That's the monster man's name. I want to play with Parrot.

Yes, the Parrot's name is Gonzalo. He belonged to Mr. Gary. I'm sorry about what happened to Mr. Gary. He was nice. Yes, well, you're gonna need some teaching so you don't do what you did to Mr. Gary to anyone else. It's bad business to kill him. And you don't have to.

Did nobody show you how to feed properly? It's very pretty. Who's that Camilla? The bird. He's an African grey. Mr. Gary said. All right, all right. My no better than to try and compete with the bird. That's enough talk for now. You've been through the mill and no question. Why don't you rest? Ruth, can you find these chisters and blankets to wrap up with

or boxes to close up and come on What about the mess in the castle that's too late tonight, but tomorrow someone's gonna have to clean it Yeah, but who I'm not gonna knock it off, Gonzalo. Blood's never gonna get out of this fucking stone. Well, it's a castle without a little blood anyway. All the nights out there hacking each other up, all school. You know, Zombich was running after them with soap and a bucket like, why are you gonna do that in here, motherfucker?

Perfectly good, y'all outside. Never. You know, some bitch was running after them with soap and a bucket like, why are you gonna do that in here, motherfucker? Perfectly good, y'all outside! Never, you could help, you know. I know, Puerto Rican girl cleans up, it's how she usually goes, but not this gatta. Unless I make the mess, I ain't cleaning it. Besides, hands on me, won't they got one brush? Fair point.

At least I helped you dump his cold white ass in the reservoir. You just carried the rock. My idea to get that rock. It was only like 30 pounds. 30 pound rock will hold down a lot of dead ass. He was gonna sink anyway. Yeah, the skinny ones do that. But then the spring comes.

They get all gassy farting andified and come back up like dumplings. Unless they got a rock around the neck. So? So? Where are the kids? Shouldn't they little asses be cleaning the song? Wouldn't that be nice? Now, there was Fedco, watching Star Wars. Huh?

Who made any sense for the money to get the money? We've been trying to get these little fuckers to tell us who turned them. But they're locked up tighter than Fort Knox. We thought maybe we'd get them comfortable, take them to a movie. Before the movie, we fed them, of course. Had to. You little livestock family up in New Yorktown right? We're better to teach him. I mean how to do it without killing the fuck out of everybody

So Margaret doesn't you know kill the fuck out of them right? So how'd it go? Who is it? Land shark. Wait, who? Land shark. Open the door. Right, open the door. Who is it? I don't know. Who is it? Land shark.

Wait, who? Land shark. Open the door. Right. Open the door. Evening's baker. We're just in the neighborhood. Don't stop by for a bite. We'll come right back. Just like your old family. Ages enough right after happy days in my burning journey. Hey, hey, hey. What's up, Mikey? Remember me?

I'm your friend you forget about when he leaves. I love that fat thing. I have a pretty bunch of hours. Oh, this kid is good as well. Nothing is as good as fatty's blood. What you got in the bowl, kid? Ice cream, M&Ms, with an Pepsi. Practically a salad.

Look what a big, telly they have. Yes, yes. Well, let the American home would be complete without its shrine. Hey, where's Mr. Baker? Helix's bar. When you expect him. When the game's done. I'll smell like beer and have peanuts in his teeth. My, what nice children.

Are they tame, taken? Are they your children? Yeah, knocked up a couple of dames in Anglic. Say, would you mind putting on a trash bag? I don't think these guys have great aim. Oh, key dokey. Hey, don't worry Mikey, we didn't forget about you. Spets, do you want to put a towel on your Mikey's neck?

That closet. Very well. Alright, Camilla, Uncle Spets over here is going to teach you how not to drink too much. I want the boy. Yeah? Okay. Camilla, come switch with Alfie. No.

What's the difference? Humpty Dumpty is made of sweet cheese and cream. The old one's going to taste like gin and cigarettes. Really? Ha-ha-ha. You're smart. It took me a while to figure out which ones are tasty. Think of it this way.

You're being gentle, man. Alfie and Peter. Gentleman, you're letting the lady choose. Okay, I'll try being your fie. Oh, she's no lady. Alright, chop chop. We haven't got on, mate. What's going on in the bathroom? Come on, Mrs. B.

Like this? Yeah, no's ever looked better in the Glad bag. Okay, sit on the toilet. See? It's all fuzzy and comfy. Thanks. Okay, Peter, let Camille have the neck. She gave up to Zert. So did I! I just didn't make a fuss. She can have the neck. I'm tired of fighting. Oh, that's right. Turn the trash can over. You can stand on that. Peter, get away from there.

Lefveen's biggest option is the neck vein. The monster man said. Yeah, we'll take the rest. Too much just, not my night. Array, Array, Array, not too much more. I think it's here. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm get caught I'm sorry, I'll clean up

Okay kids stop Stop Camilla stop Peter move got a liquor and heck. But I'm still hungry. There. What are you doing? Trying a neck. That's really not helpful.

Okay, take this washcloth. Clean the wall. I'm going to check on Mikey. Peter come. Camilla. Do not bite'm gonna check on Mikey. Peter, come. Camilla, do not bite her again. Do not. Will she die? Not if you don't bite her again.

She just got panicked. I'm glad you're gonna die. Too late for anything, you're gonna die. Come on, Peter. Did she die? Nah, I put her to bed. Told her she called a bug and should rest for a while. I just fed cook up the Alfie and Lion so he didn't chew on Mikey too bad.

Fuckin Mikey! Hey Mikey! Yeah Mikey didn't like it. At least he won't remember. And after all that, they still didn't tell you nothing? Oh, you think you could do better. Maybe you should try. Hey, we really need to talk about where you come from. Who terms you?

I don't want to talk about that. I'll tell you about literally anything else. It makes me sad. Please, do I make a joke? Yeah, well, I'll go get some. Now what? Hey, well, how about if we took him to the movie first? I see what's playing, uh... Okay, where could we?

Hey kids, you wanna see, uh... Star Wars! Hey, missing Star Wars! Star Wars! Yes! Yes! I hate missing Star Wars. What'd you say? I'm not really, I'm okay. I hated missing Star Wars, okay? I couldn't watch it because somebody had to come here and clean this shit up. It's like my favorite movie.

It doesn't make you special, Guapo. Everybody likes Star Wars. Like me, for instance. You think about that? You don't invite me to a movie, but you do invite me to watch you scrub a blood. What a catch you are. Now you see why I just used you for sex.

Wait. I thought I was using you for sex. Hey, come here. I did this, Bapho. We got work to do. I thought you'd like it when I do that. I do. Too much of how little you think about me. How about that?

You're not thinking about me except when you want something. It's why I went out more serious. Why do people say serious when they're talking about something something is why we're not more serious. Why do people say serious when they're talking about something that should be fun? See, you're doing nothing you do and instead of talking about what I say, you talk about what you want. My point was, why didn't you ask me to see Buddha-mande-starr was without retornishing instead of moving bodies? But now you're talking about what a drag it is

could be in a relationship where you have to think about what someone else wants. Okay, I'm a Louvre, I'm selfish, guilty. I just didn't think you'd be interested in babysitting. It's hard. How hard can it be? Taking cute little British kids to the movies? They're really still kids, aren't they?

Like, inside? Even with what they are now? Yeah, they're really still kids. Cute, little, huge pains in the ass. Only times ten because they can kill people and scoot through pipes and shit. But all kids do bad things. Even ones who from arm vampires.

Who's there? Who's there? Margaret? What are you doing outside my window? Upside down. Doing? Why? What should I be doing? Working perhaps? Taking care of my boy? Yeah. Those are be good things. That's not what I'm doing, is it? That'll never be what I'm doing again.

And all because of you. Go away! I'll call my father. He has a shotgun. I tell you what. That? I don't know. Open the latch on this window and let me hear with you.

No! Can't even lock me in the eye, can you? Look me in the eye! No. How about it's not your dad you're thinking of Carl and it's your mother, isn't it? Come away! You're practically a grown man now with hair on his n' arm. You want to cry for your mother after what you've done to me!

This isn't happening. Are you right, Joseph Paycock? It's a dream. Might as well open the window, get some cool air on your face, and wake up from it. No, you can't be here. You can't do this. It's not fair. Maybe not. But it is just. Well, you're gonna tell me what you did as a kid that was so bad? I mean, that's what you were hinting at, right? Nah, I don't think so. Not now.

Must've been nasty. Yeah. You know, confession's supposed to be good for the soul. If I had one. You might believe you got a soul when a kukou comes first. What's that? Like the devil. Like the devil.

But not the devil? What, the devil's helper or something? Yeah, like that. Kukou. It's kind of a cute name for a devil's helper. I think so. Sure. Kukou, kukou, kukou.

Kukou, kuk go. Go go go. Go go. Go. Stop. Please stop. Actually, don't. Don't? Don't stop it.

Here. Oh, no. Someone's here. Don't fuck with me. I'm tired. No, no, for real. Don't you hear that? I heard something. Yeah.

Somebody's here. Yes. It's something. Yeah, somebody's here. Are you here? Svets, what are you doing here? I know you're supposed to meet in the tunnels, but I don't know if the charges want to come in and collect some things. And they're parrot. Hey, how was Star Wars? It's really amazing! So, does this one part work? The millennia broken?

No, it's not. What is that Sunday? I'm never. Nice to meet you. Look what's that, co-boughter. There's a machine where you push in the quarter, turn the little winder, and shoot out a plastic bubble. Look what was inside! What the fuck is that? It's a shindable!

Catch! I've been doing that. I've seen what you mean. These days are our hands off. I see what you mean, these people are hamsters. I'm fast. It's through the speed of my other speed, it's exceptional. Look how curricular this monster manual never catch you. Or our whole English vampire is this fast. The monster one isn't English. It's Fettko and I exchange a look now.

This is the crack in the dam. Oh no. What is he? A Yankee-doodle-dandy? Like me? No. So, not American at all? I'll be a Frenchman.

Lucy, he's a henchman. What's a henchman? Not a henchman. What's a henchman? Not a henchman, but something like that. And suddenly I know what she's going to say before she says it. I feel a chill of my skin like I haven't felt since I was alive. You know what I'm talking about? Like when somebody drops a big one on you, like who they're cheating with, or who your real dad is, or who's been saying they're gonna kick your ass

Because now this tiny dead girl is about to tell us the person who committed the sin all vampires agree is Unforgivable will also be the hardest one to make pay for Because it's the absolute worst person it could be The richest most dug-in, oldest vampire in the city. Well, if he ain't a henchman, then what? A passion. As in, the passion. Fuck me. Episode 4.

Stains. The lesser dead was performed by Jack Kilmer as Joey Peacock, mini driver as Margaret MacMennus, Saul Rubeneck as Fettgo, Iris Wardell as Camilla, Toby Ryan as Peter, Ave Lebrook as Alfie, Tony and the Noble, as Neva, directed by Dan Blank, written by Christopher Buelman, series created by Christopher Buelman, based on his book The Lessor Dead. Executive producers Mark Stern, Joshua D. Mauer, Christopher Buelman, Mark Stern, Joshua D. Mauer, Christopher Buelman, Mini Driver, and Jack Kilmer.

Producer, Alexandra Whitman, Original audio production, music, and sound design by Salt. Producer, Ali Strobel, Original music and composition by Benjamin Sterley, Sound Design by Christopher Bonis. you