The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 183 - Live! David O'Doherty, Ronny Chieng, Scott Dooley, Josh Earl & Jason English

Episode Date: April 9, 2014

Yawp, Bum Stuff and Rad Dad's Got Talent. Recorded LIVE at 5 Boroughs on Sunday, April 6th as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, mates, we are halfway through the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Big thank you to all the friends of the show who've been out so far to see us do our live stand-up shows or one of the live podcasts. You've still got a couple of weeks left to catch us. My show, Tommy Dasolo Dreamboat, is on at ACMI at 8.15pm every night and Carl Chandler's Got Talent is on at the portland hotel at 9 30 ticket details for that are at little dumdumclub.com we've also got the live podcasts happening every sunday they've been awesome fun you're about to hear another example of how great they can be and

it's so much better if you're in the room so come down you've got two more chances to see them plus the special unrecorded drunken one uh late the Sunday night, which you can get into if you have a ticket from any of the other shows. Again, tickets for those, littledumbdumbclub.com. Also, Sydney, we're coming up there. We've got our own solo shows on May 10th and the 11th at the Factory Theatre and a live Little Dumb Dumb Club recording on Saturday, May the 10th in the afternoon.

There's a special ticket you can get for the Saturday where you get the podcast, my show and Carl's show for just $50. And once again, that is at littledumbdumbclub.com. So enjoy this live episode and we'll see you out there soon. Hey, mate! Welcome into the Little Dum Dum Club, live edition at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo.

Standing next to me, the other half of the show, Carl Chandler. G'day, dickheads! Yeah! How are we going, Doug? Are we recording? Is this on? We've got a... Okay, you can turn the music off now for one. Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. One out of one thing fucked up so far. That's cool. That's good. 100% failure. All good. We're having walk-ins. That's unusual for me.

This is the opposite of my solo show. Good. How's it going, by the way? It sounds like it's going good. You know what? It is going good, but the funny thing is to talk about when it goes bad. So I talked about it going bad last week. One night it went bad, and then I went to fly someone. She's probably here tonight. I went to fly someone, she's probably here tonight, I went to fly someone down at the town hall the other night and she goes, oh I'm a big Dumb Dumb fan.

I went, oh come along. She's like, nah, last week you talked about your solo show on the podcast and it sounded shit. See that's the thing I've realised is that we're often fascinated with how we'll bump into people who listen to the podcast in the street and they're like, oh I'm such a big fan of the podcast, I love it.

And we'll be like, you come into our shows and they'll go, nah. And we get angry, but then you think, why would anyone come and see us with the advertisements that we put out? All we talk about is gigs going badly and how shit each other's jokes are. Like, you're a fucking idiot if you've come to any of our shows. You guys are all out of your minds for coming down to see this. No, I love it. There's 120 people here tonight

to see something they can get for free on Wednesday. And then I've got four ticket sales for my solo show tonight, so thanks everyone. Yeah, but we edited out all the raciest stuff, as evidence from last week's recording. Didn't touch it. Isn't it interesting how... Yeah, duck down, man.

Yeah, just crouch down. No one will notice. You've gone under how... Yeah, duck down, man. Yeah. Yeah, just crouch down. No one will notice. You've gone under the podcast, so no one noticed then. Do I sound horrific, by the way? I mean, not just... We've got sound man's gone asleep. He's on his Tinder over there, so... Does this sound like I could be any better on this?

Like it sounds a bit weird? Are you listening to me at all? He, to be fair, our sound guy Someone else set everything up And left it and then went I'm just going to leave you to push the button So Doug actually has no idea what any of this stuff does He's literally sitting there jerking off

Okay Alright, good Nice one Yeah, how's your solo show been? How's your festival going? It's been going good Yeah, it's been going good I got an email from a listener the other day

That I think you'll be interested in this I wonder if this is going to be positive. This is from Matt K. It says, hey guys, just thought I'd share this. The other night my girlfriend and I were walking to Flinders Street Station from the Forum at about 10pm ish when my girlfriend, a little intoxicated,

points across the road and shouts there's Tommy Dasolo. I couldn't really tell as whoever it was was pretty far away. But my girlfriend confidently stated, no, I can tell that's him because he walks like a pregnant woman. So should I do a demo? I want to know. Yeah, go for it.

Okay, so I'll just do a lap of the room. For people at home, Tommy is walking like a pregnant woman But is it Because I think it's like I have a backpack on all the time Because I've got all my stuff for my show in it So this woman has thought That's how you give birth if you've got a big baby on your back Yeah those teenage mutant pregnant ninja turtles

No because like I'm deliberately trying to like To protect my back Like my posture I'm sort of puffing myself out a bit more. Because it's like a weird one, you walk like a pregnant woman, not you look like a pregnant woman. I'd go, yeah, I'm fat.

Yeah, good one. Are you walking along and liquid is just pouring from your vagina? Because that is a giveaway. Depends how good the show's gone. Oh, I'm great. Oh, I'm great. In what world does that make sense in any way? Yeah.

Anyway, guys, our shows are on 8.15pm and 9.30pm every night. We've got these every Sunday. Just more plugs for the listeners at home. And if anyone's been looking at the news this week, there has been a nice little thing for me. Something's gone right for me this week. A little TV show. I got the arse this week. Australia's TV show I got the ass this week.

Australia's Got Talent is fucking out of there. Yeah. And guess who's still here? This bloke. So, pretty happy. I actually am surprised that it got axed, because I thought it was, wasn't it rating well? I thought it would have been a high mark for them.

I don't think it was, well, you know, it's a pretty cost heavy show. I mean, you've got to pay all the contestants. What do they have to, no, no, apparently they were rating like half of X Factor and half of the rest of the show. So. There you go. This bloke brought them down from the inside. Yeah.

So, so who. They heard about me playing my 15 people a night solo show. Yeah, round of applause. Who has seen, has anyone seen Chandler night solo show. Yeah, round of applause. Has anyone seen Chandler's solo show yet? Oh, all right. And has anyone stayed till the end? So have you added in, is there now an epilogue of you? Because it's all like a lot of hypothetical

and not being able to say the name of the show. Are you now just turning up? Great question, Tommy. And to find out the answer, I guess you'll just have to come. Yeah. Ticketmaster is melting down as we speak. There's a girl in the front row with a broken arm

who's sitting in the exact... Is that the same seat you were sitting in last week? Yeah? Have you left this venue? Are you not able to... Did you try and get out? Is that why? There's a girl in the front row that reviewed me the other night and I'm looking forward to that review because I asked the room,

is there any reviewers in here? And no one would admit it. I said, seriously, no one's getting out of here until I find out who the reviewers are. This young lady put her hand up and I said, who do you review for? And she said, a website called Yelp. And I said, is there anyone reviewing for something that

anyone gives a fuck about? And she just got out the black pen and went, no. So I'm really looking forward to that, because it got a good laugh, but man, am I going to be buried in that review? Sorry? You had the review with you.

Can I read it out? Can I have a look? Is this something we should do? Sure. Okay, can I? Alright. Do you want to read it or do you want me to read it? The way she answered reluctantly, I'm assuming that she hates reading six stars out. She's got a fear of making someone too happy.

Is that it? Thank you. Okay. Okay. As the title suggests, Carl Chandler wants to prove he has talent. To achieve this aim, he auditioned for a national televised talent competition,

an unnamed show for legal reasons. However, those smart ones amongst the audience might be able to guess. The story is a tale of humiliation. It will have you cringing and feeling distinctly uncomfortable at points. Am I in it now? It should be brackets,

but only if you review for yaw. It's filled to the brim with... I've never known how to pronounce... Schadenfreude. It's gone over my head. However, Chandler sprinkles the tale with just enough self-confidence to keep you from feeling too sorry for him.

Regardless, you will sympathise with Chandler as you see how much the experience affected him. The story is impossible to relate to for most people, but it's a peek behind the scenes of being a comedian and the sometimes terrible gigs they do. Chandler has obviously done more good shows than bad, but these stories aren't nearly as funny. Does Chandler have talent?

Fuck no, what a cunt That's, come on That's me Hey That first bit was made up Thanks for letting us do that Oh wow, I cannot wait I think I can see up the back Your reviewer who was in from Al Jazeera that night is in as well.

Do they want to read out their review? Oh, man. Well, that is a relief. Well, we've got our first guest for this afternoon. We've actually got to get him on pretty quick. So should we get on with it and bring him out? Please. Ladies and gentlemen, you've seen him all over the telly.

He's been selling out shows across the comedy festival. He's moved into a bigger venue. You've seen him on Barack Obama's Facebook page. No, Bill Clinton's Facebook page. Oh, no, it's Bill Clinton. Sorry. He is the great man himself.

Please welcome into the Little Dumb Dumb Club, Ronnie Chang. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody. Oh, sorry. What up, bro? What up, bro?

I have a new catchphrase. Oh, good. I can't remember it right now. Oh, yeah, yeah. I have a new one. Good, good. What was it? I hope you're not late for your show

and everyone's really disappointed by your professionalism. No, no, no. I have a new one. I'll reveal it next week. I can't remember what it is right now. It's like my favourite episodes of Family Matters are the ones where Urkel's going, what do I say, no, no. I have a new one. I'll reveal it next week. I can't remember what it is right now. It's like my favourite episodes of Family Matters are the ones where Urkel's going, what do I say again normally? What is it?

I'm trying to push this new one. This What Up Bro is... Well, first step, remember it. Okay. I love how you take responsibility for the downfall of Australia's Got Talent. How frustrating must it be if you're Australia's Got Talent and you came up with the format first and the thing that beats you was this, was just this. And that was all it took.

And you didn't think of that and you're like, fuck! We had it. We could have just made the chairs turn. And don't get too specific. We want to use that to hype up coming down to these live shows to the listeners at home. What did Ronnie just do? Who the fuck knows?

Come down and give us $18 to see it live in the flesh. Come down and next week we reveal Ronnie's catchphrase. Off air. I'll remember it in a second. As soon as I leave the venue I'll remember it. Fuck.

Okay. What up bro? No, it wasn't that. So are you officially putting what up bro to bed? No, no, no. I have both now. I'm pushing both.

Oh, double catchphrase. Oh, wow. I did a show yesterday and as soon as I came on stage I said, hey everybody, thanks for coming. And someone was like, what up bro? I, no, no. I have both now. I'm pushing both. Oh, double catchphrase. I did a show yesterday and someone, as soon as I came on stage, I said, hey everybody, thanks for coming. And someone was like, what up bro? One guy listens to the Dum Dum Club. Yeah. You're welcome. Thank you. Thanks for sending

that guy. Well, you could tell him because you've got a 20 seater this year or a 15 seater or a... What do you mean? How many people come to your show this year? I don't know. I don't know how many people. Your backstage is bigger than my stage.

Yeah. This is like a nice little intimate gig for you tonight. Yeah, it is. What do you want me to say, man? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I apologise. I don't know what to do.

I always find it curious how, like, I can't believe people come out to listen to podcasts like thanks so much for coming out to listen is that the new catchphrase every five minutes it literally is

on my podcast I'm like why are you guys listening to this go spend 20 minutes you know exercising do something else

and then I have to continue the podcast and I always feel like if I do a live one it would just be me every part all of my podcasts are live podcasts me and my house just going hey everybody what's going on And I always feel like if I do a live one, it would just be me. All of my podcasts are live podcasts.

Me and my house just going, hey, everybody, hey, what's going on? It's creepy. It's getting creepy. Thanks for coming, everyone. Thanks for coming. Thanks for coming. What up, bro? What's up?

What up, bro? So we've been talking about reviews. How's review season for you, Ronald Chang? Oh, I don't read any and all of them. No, I read every single one of them. Yeah, it's been cool. I had one review who called me Singaporean even though I mentioned in the show I'm

Malaysian and my whole fucking gimmick is being Malaysian. And it is a fucking gimmick, make no mistake. That's the thing that's been selling my shows for three years. I'm Malaysian and the guy prints Ronald Chang who's by Singaporean three years. I'm Malaysian and the guy prints Ronnie Chang, who's by Singaporean by birth. I'm like, fuck, get that right.

At least get the nationality right. It's one of your best visual catchphrases, that's for sure. I know what you mean. None of my reviews mention my Italian heritage. It drives me crazy. I know. And then they said that... Look, I don't want to go into too much detail with the reviews,

but they said that, they said something didn't work in the show, but it did, and I didn't know what to do with that. Did they mention the bit where you didn't know the catchphrase? Because that could have been it. No, I just love, like, when, I love reading the opinions of people about how to play basketball when they haven't picked up a ball in their life. You know what I mean?

Like, I just love seeing... I phrased that really poorly, I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah. I'm much better not live. Well, I'm feeling for you, because you've sold out the hi-fi for the rest of the season, so it's obviously fucked you right up. Yeah, but that's just money, man.

Oh. Yeah, you're right. It sounds boring. Yeah, that's not why we do this. What do you do it for, then? We do it for the stars. We do it for the stars. Oh, really? Yeah, that's not why we do this. What do you do it for then? We do it for the stars. We do it for the stars. Oh, really?

Yeah, that's what we do it for, man. Well, I know someone that works at a little website called Yelp. And I can... I've got a pretty good relationship going. Which one was it? I didn't see which one was it. Huh? Hey, how you doing, man?

You good? Cool. How long you been running for Yelp? What does Yelp mean? What does that mean? What does that stand for? Do you know what that stands running for Yelp? What does Yelp mean? What does that mean? What does that stand for? Do you know what that stands for? Yelp.

What is that? It's to do with Dead Poets Society. Right. Oh, yeah. Seize the Yelp. Yeah. I watch a ton of movies. I didn't get that reference.

Did anybody here get the reference? Yeah, you watch a ton of movies, but didn't get that reference. Did anybody here get the reference? Yeah, you watch a ton of movies, but have you seen Dead Poets Society? Was that one of them? No, actually. It's the one with the poets dying, right? I saw that one. Shakespeare dies. I get it. I don't think you do get it. Spoiler alert. Oh, sorry. Shakespeare dies.

That's not what happens at all. Who's the other poet? He's not a poet. Shakespeare's not a poet? No. He's a playwright. That's a one-star statement right there. He's a poet, man.

He writes sonnets. Sonnets are poems. Come on. Is he a poet? Yeah. Listen, you Singaporean fuckhead. He's not a poet. Who is the poet?

Who is the TS? Who is that guy? Who? Elliot? Yeah, keep clicking. He'll appear. Let's go. Was it Elliot?

TS Elliot. Yeah, I knew that. All right. Jesus. Yeah. TS Elliot. Yeah. What was that thing before you said about someone who's never picked up a basketball?

I phrased that really badly. Fuck, I had this awesome zinger in my head and I'm going to fucking zing these reviewers and I just failed good one go back to Vietnam

should we get our next guest out here sure Ronnie Chang everyone just want to move down one seat Ronnie this next guy you may have seen him on the project he's back in the country for a little bit,

doing some shows at the Comedy Festival. He's also featured on one of our most popular episodes to date. Please welcome back into the Little Dumb Dumb Club, Scott Dooley. Yay! Yay! Yeah! Hi, guys. It's good to have three quarters of the gang back together, isn't it?

Yeah, God, that was a bloody good podcast. We recorded it just there. Yeah. Chandler turned it into something for money. For some money. Yeah. For very little money, to be honest. Can I just ask, what do we think of the beanie?

I'm in two minds about the beanie. Not much. I'm only wearing it to spite someone who saw me wearing the beanie and she goes, you go down 10 IQ points with that on. And I was like, fuck yeah, I'm going to keep it on. For sure, when she listens to this episode, she's going to be so pissed off. She will.

Well, we got people to fill out a survey on the way in and someone's question was actually, what the fuck's with Dooley's beanie? And I've taken it off. I've spooked myself. Yeah, it's not really beanie weather, I'd say. Yeah, there's not a great need for it. No, but I mean...

Get the fuck out. Sorry. This heroin's not going to sell itself. Yeah. All I'm saying is it's going to come up front and centre in the Yorpe review of this show, so... Yeah, Yorpe. Fucking dead poet society.

I'm pointing at someone without a broken arm. You. Yeah. Is your arm okay? How'd you break it? Playing netball. Playing netball. Oh, Jesus.

That's Australian, isn't it? How do you break netball? Like, you can't dribble, you can't even breathe on the person. You sound like the kind of person that's giving a review about netball. Good. Never picked up a ball, right? I also like Ronnie looking at a girl with her arm in plaster and him going, is your arm okay?

Yeah. That's a polite question to ask in white society, Tommy. It's just like saying, how are you doing? I'm okay. As though you really care. This is in Singapore, that's a lot. In Singapore, we'd be like, what's up? Hope you get better soon

Consider playing basketball If you're going to get hurt Might as well play something good I'm just joking I'm playing the villain I'm the heel I'll be the bad guy Whatever

Is anyone here playing a sport That anyone gives a fuck about? That's how usually I ask my questions. I asked people on the survey on the way in, now that Australia's Got Talent has been axed, what TV show would you like to see Carl Chandler embarrass himself on next? Someone put Embarrassing Bodies? Yes.

Let's all guess what Chandler's hidden ailment for embarrassing bodies. What's he got going on? You've got some bum stuff going on, I reckon. Some bum stuff? Yeah. What does that mean? You know those guys on Embarrassing Bodies where they roll? Oh, yeah.

I've got, like, poo coming out of it. Oh. Wait, did you say bum stuff? Yeah, I said bum stuff. Did you say bum stuff? Yeah. Sorry, I've just... That's my new...

Hey, Ronnie, it's my new catchphrase. Do you know what's scary? He's the most successful comic here. Easily. Bums! This is a bit... One of my favourite things in life is Ronnie losing control. Is this...

He laughed. One of my favourite things in life is Ronnie losing control. He laughs. He bumps out like something's wrong with his butt. Yeah. Is this me about to get a job writing for Ronnie for his next year's stand-up show? I think it is. Or Ronnie's about to get a job writing for Zoo magazine. He laughed the other night.

He laughed for five minutes uncontrollably like this when he found out that one time at Spleen, someone shit their pants. Now, that's some bum stuff. That's... Yeah, yeah. That is... I was emceeing that gig, Ronnie.

That was good times. Oh, you emceed it? Yeah, I was emceeing it. What happened? Did a guy just shit his pants? Yeah, yeah. Believe it or not, that's all there is to that story, Ronnie.

You can't top that. Someone came on and just shit his pants in the audience. Yeah, no, no, Guy was asleep for the whole start of the gig and it was kind of like, I pointed it out but it was like, oh, he's just asleep, he's not doing anything, just leave him, I guess. And then the last act in the bracket was on I'm backstage, I've heard a bit

of silence and then the room just erupted in laughter and it was comedian Daniel Connell has stuck his head backstage from on stage and go, guys, he's fair just shat his pants. So it was like, okay, there were two more acts in this bracket but we're going to take an impromptu break and just do some

cleaning up. Yeah, yeah. Go to the bar, get a drink, have a smoke, wipe your arse. Dude, this is your kryptonite. If you were a superhero, you'd just talk to about you about arses and you'd steal everything. No, it's just the context of it. Come on. If you'd gone up and said, hey, butts, I wouldn't be laughing.

But if you'd say, hey, Kyle Chandler's butt has a problem. I'll have you know, I got a very good review for it on Yelp. I want to know more about this. It's Daylight Savings today and I said this morning we put our clocks backwards. What was the last thing you were late to and why? Someone put breakfast this morning intercourse. Wait, as in breakfast this morning and then intercourse? Was there a comment?

No, I think they mean they were late. Intercourse with Wait, as in breakfast this morning and then intercourse? Was there a common? No, I think they mean they were late. Intercourse with breakfast? Yeah. I'm late for sticking my dick in a fruit loop? They were late to breakfast because they were having... Oh. Yeah. But that's not because of daylight savings.

That's because of the sex. Yeah. But how can you be late to... Like, unless they were wanting to go get a Macca's breakfast and they're like, no, we've just switched over to the main menu. It's like, I knew I shouldn't have had that route. I'm not going to get a McMuffin. That's tough for you, isn't it?

Hot cakes are a blowjob. That's a lot of great... Sweet new game show. That's Chandler would crush on that show. It goes so well. It goes so well. No festival show off the back of that appearance. Let me put it this way. I'm just, I'm no

fan of the breakfast menu at McDonald's. So, blowjob. Why not? I don't like it at all. What, you don't like Egg McMuffins? No. What are you,

you'd be a sausage man, sausage McMuffin man. No, Egg McMuffins. I think, I have this theory that if Egg McMuffins was sold in an alleyway from some guy with a beard,

all the foodies would be like, oh man, this shit's the best thing in Melbourne. Everyone's gonna come and eat this shit. Because it's coming out of McDonald's, everyone's like, fuck this,'s the best thing in Melbourne everyone's gonna come and eat this shit because it's coming out of McDonald's

everyone's like fuck this it's disgusting but you like egg McMuffins everyone knows they like egg McMuffins why do you think

foodies are buying shit from guys with beards I don't know you need to have this little stall in an alley it's not just a guy

with a coat going no no no it's not the flasher guy you know Greg Fleet hasn't been on hotcakes all these years.

But Greg Fleet doesn't have a beard. Oh, well, that's the flaw in the story. If he grew a beard, he'll be fine, yeah. Should we get our next guest out? Yeah, let's get our next guest out. Scott Dooley, everyone. Very excited about this next guest. It's our first time having him on the show.

He is one of the biggest international acts at this festival. So thrilled to have him here. Guys, please go crazy and welcome him to the little dum-dum club, David O'Doherty! Yay! Yay! Woo! Woo!

Thank you very much. Hey, everyone. Thank you for being here. Banana in the pocket. Yeah, I haven't been very well uh the last few days so i'm keeping my potassium levels high so you know that that's not how you do it to the oh do you have to eat them they're disgusting i thought you could just stuff them into the bottoms of your shoes and go for a run and your body would absorb them no so i'm

i'm trying to eat bananas and nuts today and take zinc. It's just I came off, I was doing a tour of the UK and then came here and just thought I could just keep going. And I did for a few days. And then my body went, we have had enough of this horse shit. We're going for a snooze. But it's great to be here to get out of bed to do this fucking bullshit. No, I wouldn't miss it for the world. To be honest, I turned up last week for that enthusiastic I was. I got the week

wrong and arrived full of incredible anecdotes then. Since then, I've been deathly ill and now just want to go for a sleep. But, no, no, no, I did turn up last week. Yeah, it was an awkward thing where we got a text from your producer saying David's on his way and we were like, ah, he's not meant to be and then we were on the phone and you walked in the door and it was hey man, it's great to see where we got a text from your producer saying David's on his way and we were like, he's not meant to be.

And then we were on the phone and you walked in the door and it was, hey man, it's great to see you. It's a big fan. Anyway, can you fuck off now and come back in seven days? Well, yes, it was fine. My hotel is quite close to here. So I went back there and got a handjob from a swan. Oh, it's part of being an international act.

Handjobs from swans. They give you handjobs for swans? You know. I don't want to make too much of a... The footy team. That was... Swan wanks. They're called swanks for short.

Come on, that deserved more. You're not wrong. It really did. You know what? On the topic of swanks, on the topic of getting handjobs from swans, we got a request last week from a guy who might be here tonight

a guy that said that works at the National Film and Sound Archive and wants to officially archive this podcast for generations to come and he's going to have to hear about getting wanked off by swans now It'd be funny if Australian society or entire global culture

was lost somehow, some sort of bomb, but this was the only fragment they had. What were these people like? This was like their cave paintings. So then they based their civilisation on that and suddenly it's people walking around with bananas in their pockets, bum problems galore. Always questioning, pancakes or head jobs?

Is that guy here? Yeah. Oh, there's two of them. What's the place called, the National Archive? What's it called? Filming Sound Archive. Filming Sound Archive. What's the full name?

What's the full name? Very interesting comedic route Ronnie's chosen to go down there. Yeah, more fact checking than funny. This will lead to some good banter. You don't know some guy just saying he's from there, you don't know. You've got to check if he knows what you're talking about. Hey, he had a signature. I'm doing the recording.

I'm that guy, I'm the guy who messaged you. You've got to fact check, you've got to know if this guy knows what he's talking about. Is that really fact checking if you just said, are you him, and he says yes? No. I asked him if he knew the full name of the place, and he did. Oh, yeah, yeah. Did you know that before the question? Yeah, yeah.

That name's been under embargo until now. Yeah, right. I like that it's the fake film and sound archive in Australia. The cool one up a lane run by a guy with a beard. I get what you're talking about, Ronnie. Yeah, because with that fake story now, because I agreed to it, he has access to these free podcasts.

Dude, fact check your shit, man. You can't let people without credentials just saying they're from places they're not. Oh, you know this person's from Yelp. You don't know that. She just said, I could be from Yelp. Have you got Yelp ID? Why?

And I know you think I hate you. I don't hate you. I don't hate you. This is just how I talk. I don't hate you. Yeah. I don't hate you or your organization. I just, this is just how I communicate.

Yeah. I'm sorry. Yeah. So the other night. That's the most autistic thing I've ever heard anyone say. I know. You could have been counting cards. No, hey, dude, I said I'm Malaysian.

All right. I know. You could have been counting cards. No, hey, dude, I said I'm Malaysian, all right? Keep misidentifying my nationality. I'm not from Autistica, okay? I'm from Malaysia. Was that offensive?

I don't even know. That's not offensive, right? Okay. You were going to say something, David? Oh, yeah, I was coming out of my gig The night before last And I was going I was going to go home

For a snooze afterwards I've been doing the bloody gigs And they've been going quite well Even though I haven't been very well Any walkouts? Oh I tell you One lady fell down the stairs

Which is A subtle kind of walkout It happened Okay Is this Has it got anything to do with you Carrying around banana peels, by the way? My show this year is very slapstick.

I tried to pick up a hat for the first ten minutes. Fooey! Give us ten minutes out of your mime routine right now. Stuck in a box. So I come out. I sneak out of the... Oh, yeah, sorry, I shouldn't say. So my venue, the steps down the stage is sort of at the bottom.

And I've done this venue for three years now, which will give you an idea of the trajectory my career is on in Australia. And three years ago, a drunk lady just cascaded down the steps. Yeah, and it was a situation where, oh no, dead lady. The orp is going to hate this.

It was the thing where she had drunk so much, her body had become bendy. So she just... Oh, then she was fine. Yeah, she just bounced up at the bottom. Yeah, I've seen that. I've seen that. The whole audience...

Dr. Chang has seen that. No, no, I've seen that. I don't want to interrupt your story, please. I'll tell you what I've seen there. The whole audience just... We all went quiet

because they were very polite. But then she got up and just walked out the doors. And, well, the downside of that was the laughter when she walked out was such...

And it was like, phew, but also that was really fucking funny. It was the realisation also by me that, David, nothing you ever say in your entire career will be as funny as a lady cascading down eight steps and then just running out of the venue. You need to pay her, get her on the payroll and have her do that every night. Well, so someone fell down two nights ago, but she just did a classic sort of like bum

bounce. Do you know like a cute baby on YouTube? Just like, donk, donk, donk. And then when she sat on the bottom step, because we all saw it happen, and then she just sat there with like her elbow as if like, I've just come down for a closer view.

I saw that once. That was the greatest moment of high school for me. I was standing there and I saw a guy above my ear walk into school and he was just doing that thing of walking along and looking on the oval and walking along and hitting a pole. Literally walking to a pole and he literally did this. He went...

Visual, visual. And just casually put his elbow on the pole for the people at home. Put that story in the film and sound archive, buddy. I remember back in the day when people thought visual things happened on audio mediums. What a fuckhead. David, it seems like a lot of people have fallen down in your shows. Like, what's your public liability insurance costing you when you come out here now? I think that is the worry from the venue

as well. But, no, I... The best thing that happened so far... Sorry, this is what I was going to say. Two nights ago, my venue is... It's got one of the lanes just behind... One of the graffiti lanes for everyone. Just graffitis all the time. And I take my tiny keyboard back.

I play a small, I'm a 38-year-old man who plays a small plastic children's keyboard that was $18 on eBay. So it's close to having a breakdown. That's what every gig is like. And so it's in an orange sort of courier bag. So it's in an orange sort of courier bag. And I walk. And what I have noticed is it's the same bag that the people who do the spray, like the graffiti have. It's the same super cool bag.

Sure. So I come around the corner the other night and there's some dudes there. And they're just shady dudes. And he goes, have you got cans? Like that. And when someone says, have you got cans, being from Ireland someone says have you got cans being from Ireland it means you have cans of beer and so I'm like nah I don't have any cans and he's like oh yeah so then he's like you work with paint

or something other so like that so I just go yes yes I do and then he goes have you got any sprock or something or like gronk you know something you know is drugs it's just one of those words it couldn't possibly do you have any or something or like gronk you know something you know is drugs it's just one of those words

do you have any shimtom? do you have any bargon? do you have any have you got any bum problems? and I I walk up the street so all I've done is uh oh

I just tickled Ronnie again. Stop. Stop looking at me. I've pretended to be a graffiti guy, is what's happened there. I've walked past, just said that he just thinks I'm about to do some sweet, sweet work. Now, when I walk about 20 metres beyond that, the keyboard I have has a demo tune on it

that Billy Joel's Don't Go Changing. And sometimes it just gets sort of shifted when you're walking along with it. Just like Banksy, yeah. Exactly. So just as I get past him, he's like, yeah, there's another cool international graffiti guy.

And I just walk on and then you just hear do-do-do-do do-do-do-do-do Don't Go Changing. I think it's not a graffiti vibe. and I just walk on and then you just hear do do do do do do do do don't go changing. I think it's not a graffiti vibe. That's how you know Odoadi's been there is he's got a wicked piece

on the wall and there's just a banana peel left behind because he needed the potassium to get through the illegal graphing. That's my tag. Your tag's just happy to see you.

Ronnie, you've got to go soon but what about this liquid woman that you were going to talk about? Liquid woman? Oh, no, I just saw someone get thrown into a window and be okay. No, no, but the key... Oh, is that all? Yeah, yeah.

Get out. That was all. The key to that was he was... The key to that? Look, what I... If you're going to get thrown into the window, this is what you do guys He was drunk

So his entire body was relaxed And so when he got thrown into his window He was so relaxed That he just kind of It was like Mr. Fantastic He just kind of And then he stood up and walked away Did he get thrown through it?

Or just into it? He threw it It was like Yeah right And he didn't get cut or anything? No He didn't harden up That's why you got to just let it roll off you You got to let the punches Roll was like yeah right it didn't get cut or anything no no cut he didn't harden up that's why

you gotta just let it roll off you you gotta let the punches roll off you I heard it three and a half stars just let it

roll off you three stars just roll off just relax if you have a massage before you get thrown out of a plane you don't

need a parachute is that what you're saying no if you if you if you um if you relax at the moment of impact then yeah so if you're shitting moment of impact, then yeah. So if you're shitting bricks all for 40,000 feet,

as soon as you get down here and you go, ah, whatever. There you go. Shout out to the future generations listening to this at the National Film and Sound Archive. Jump out of a plane as soon as you can, guys. I've got to go do my show. I'm so sorry, guys. That's fine.

My show's at 6pm. I really hate running out. Still plugging. I love that. Even though I can't make it still plugging if anyone walks out now they can probably make Ronnie's show

someone is walking out there are people walking out it's at the hi-fi why are you walking out what the fuck's

going on it's a fucking mutiny save this for my solo show later on tonight technically Ronnie is walking out

of this podcast I'm really sorry, guys. Alright, go do your show. Ronnie Chang, everyone. But we do... Yeah. We've got... We sort of... We knew this was going to be... That was Ronnie screaming to the crowd, Mike.

Okay, good. Apparently in jump jockey horse racing... I don't know if this is true. You know sometimes... jump jockey horse racing, I don't know if this is true. You know sometimes... What's jump jockey? You know there's two sorts of horse racing? Oh, the jumps races. The one on the flat and the ones with the jumps.

I thought it was like they jump the jockeys. The horses do. Yeah. As payback for occasionally being shot. I would love to watch that. It's like, yeah, okay, you can ride them, but at the end of the season they're going to jump me and they might find out.

That is an idea for the future, for future generations listening to this. Put that in the time capsule. That's like the Christmas party with jockeys. It's like, okay, we're all a bit pissed. You jump me now, all right? Give Lonro a go. Hang on, the horses are at the Christmas party. Yeah.

And they've all had a few. Just photocopying their big horse arses on the photocopier. Yeah, just going, I remember when Billy got put down. Oh. People didn't like that flight of fancy. They apparently, I mean, yeah, you know sometimes you have a fact and you're not sure whether it's true or you dreamt it. Yeah.

I think that's pretty much everything Ronnie just said before he left. Someone said that male jockeys tend to be less injured because when they fall, when the jump jockeys fall, and you know the way all the other horses ride over them then, the male jockeys go round their balls, basically, to protect them in a tighter knot than the ladies who are just like, lie on the ground, just like, ah, well. I mean, having just said that, it is...

Classic lady jockeys. Do girls protect their vagina in any way? Because if you go like that to a guy, they're like, oh, that's the worst thing at all. But girls don't just go free shot. Do they? Yeah, I now regret this appearance. And the fact that not only is it on this podcast,

but preserved for all time. They will be in this society. There were four very intelligent men and one really stupid one. We should just mention quickly, we knew Ronnie was going to be having to leave, so we've got a sub. We've got someone to fill in for the last bit of the show. The Yelp reviewer's checking her phone, so that's good.

Sorry. Guys, you know him as the new host of Spicks and Specks. Please welcome back in a little dum-dum club, Josh Earle. That's right. Uh-oh, we've had another walkout. Someone very popular left and I replaced them. That's how Yeah Uh oh We've had another walk out Someone very popular Left And I replaced them

That's how it works That's how it works In this business What up bro And the other one is It's pronounced Shing Tao Is that his beer?

Ching Tao Ching Tao Yeah Ching Tao Hey Drink responsibly Bum problems. And we've got my boss on the podcast now.

So I work for Josh. He doesn't. Not after this. Great. I just want to make one point. You guys are really watching that door for the walkouts. Here's the best walkout of recent memory. At the Edinburgh Festival last year

two guys were clearly having a heated argument during my gig so I over what well I had to stop it and go

what is the issue here you know when two people are like like that and it's like what's going on can I fix this can I stop this

and one guy just stands up and he points to the other and he goes he told me we were going to see Travis and walked out and you cannot

argue with that walk out the band or? yeah the band oh I get it and they would have seen the keyboard it's a new direction I'll see at what point did he start to get the inkling this is unlike the previous Travis work.

I just like the idea that there's a mate of theirs called Travis. It's like, oh, we'll catch up with Travis. What the fuck's this idiot doing with a keyboard? So you're saying maybe those walkouts are like it's an argument and then someone's gone, he's like, you told me this was going to be good. See ya. Is it legitimate?

Does anyone know the people that have just walked out? Stop worrying about the walkout And there's 118 people here Like worry about them Yeah I'm a bit fascinated by this Someone said I put on here

What was the last thing You were late to and why Someone said I was late To teach my year 10 music class As I was too busy Dealing with a drug dealer In year 11 Does that person

Want to elaborate Yeah Yeah What was the deal Well I was a drug dealer in year 11? Does that person want to elaborate? Yeah. What was the deal? For the people listening home, he said he was the deal. Should you come up here and talk into the mic so future generations can hear about heroin? Was he wearing a beanie? No, he wasn't.

But apparently he was caught out because some year nine kids were smoking weed inside the school. And so, funnily enough, they thought maybe

somebody was dealing with them. And it was. It was one of my year 11... You cracked the case! It's a tough one, I know. Did you chase the paper trail to get there? Yeah.

Get out of here, you fucking narc. Who knows where the money goes? You're the sort of person that made Fleety go clean. Didn't you see the sign on the front door that said no cops? We're all trying to have a cool laid back time here. Oh, we just had a walk in. Oh, a walk in.

Stop looking at the door. He noticed that the weed thing was going on because suddenly at his music class, people were taking like six minute guitar solos. He's like, this vibe has gone psychedelic. Eight miles high. Should we get into a... I think it might be time for Australia's longest running,

most consistent and funniest radio serial of all time. What do you think, guys? The scripts are under your seat, guys. It's like a shit version of Oprah. Do you want me to do the intro while I'm here? I don't even know if you've got the right one. So we've highlighted this. Is that yours?

No, that's Dooley's. So that's you. Yeah, you're Dooley. Oh, that's right. That's me. That's yours. You're David. Who?

Yeah, do we want... We've got an acapella opening credits. If everyone joins in. Well, it's Rad Dad here and I'm here to say I'm just riding around in a Rad Dad day. Got a wife, a cat and a dog. Now see me be rat in your catalogue. Yeah.

Word to your mother. It's Rad Dad. There you go. Thank you. Yeah. Next year's House 100. That'll be next Teeth House 100. Sorry, can I ask someone unfamiliar with the format,

what the fuck is going on? What's Rad Dad? Very, very quickly. I am the worst at auditions in the world, and the only thing I've ever been offered was the chance to be a catalogue model in a Target catalogue. And they didn't tell me who it was, but we went through the list. It was like Chinese mother, Aboriginal baby.

And then the only thing that could have been possibly be was Rad Dad. Cool 35 to 45 year old dude. Got it. That's me. Got it. Love it. That would have been awesome in the actual catalogue if the Chinese mother had been holding the Aboriginal baby.

So there's just like a bit of mystery. It's the United States of Target. I believe that catalogue was. Okay. Let's get into it. Let's get into our official pretending voices. Hey Rad Dad, where are you going? Must be somewhere good. You're wearing your formal Pennywise t-shirt.

Jenny, say goodbye to normal everyday rad dad. The next time you see me I'm going to be superstar nationally famous rad dad. What are you talking about? I'm on my way to go on a big TV talent show. I'm going to knock them out with my

super obvious god-given talent. What's your talent, apart from being 15 years older than anyone else at your local skate park. And having more mambo tattoos than anyone in the southern hemisphere. Well Jenny, you know how you're always saying I'm really funny. No, I use another word starting with F. Well, I decided to listen to your advice and try stand-up comedy. And what better place to try it than on TV in front of a thousand people and some expert comedy judges Sounds like a worse idea than the time you tried to buy ecstasy off a fully uniformed police officer

Hey, I thought he was an undercover drug dealer, because it's the perfect disguise Well, I think this sounds insane, but you don't seem to listen to anything I say to you in these situations anyway I thought he was an undercover drug dealer, because it's the perfect disguise. Well, I think this sounds insane, but you don't seem to listen to anything I say to you in these situations anyway. Thanks, Jenny, you're right. I am the best and I will knock them dead. Let's go right now. Meanwhile, at the talent show... Okay, well, good luck, I guess, Rad Dad. Here's the one bit of advice I give you every time you try something in the public eye.

Try not to make me want to kill myself too much. Jenny, I cannot make that promise. Here I go. Please welcome to the stage, comedian Rad Dad. Hey, guys, it's great to be here. Hey, I hear Blink 182 is going to put out a new album. 182? That's probably their age now. 182.

Because they're much older these days. From before. Okay, so the other day this guy said to me, Hey old man, why are you on a razor scooter? And I was like Because maybe I want to make a clean cut getaway And he was like Get a different kind of razor and neck yourself with it I probably shouldn't have said that part

Anyway So What's up with What does that mean? Is that the keep going, you're doing a great job buzzer? No, that was the please for the love of God make this stop buzzer. Oh right, because they sound familiar. No, they don't.

Anyway, it's time we hear what we the judges thought of your act. I have a question. Was that really your first attempt at stand-up comedy? Yeah. Well, that's amazingly shit. Let's bring back the dickhead in the bunny outfit. Now get the fuck out of here.

Okay, thanks. Well, I don't... Who... Sorry. Leave me a banana. Who would you say is your number one comedy influence? Well, that's easy. The farting dad from the Mambo t-shirts. I've got a tattoo of him right here.

Do you want to see it? Given that you started a book in the past as we were talking, I'm going to say, definitely Ross. That's exactly how Dawn French talked in the real time. That's exactly how Dawn French talked in the real show. Well, you're lost, Father Ted. Rad Dad, as you might know, I'm the new host of a rebooted music trivia show.

They've brought back Vidiot? Yes! I have to say, that was the worst example of anything that I've ever seen before. I'm going to use every bit of show business power I have to make sure that you never set foot on any kind of stage ever again. Oh, guys, please. I'm just a classic funny bloke with a heart of gold who wants to share his gift with the world.

Give me another chance. I promise. I promise that I can fucking get off, cunt. Oh, wow. Who said that? I think it was my daughter Jenny. Sorry Rad Dad. Someone put me up to it. Who? Me.

Little girl, I have to say I've never seen someone do something on this show so perfectly encapsulated the wants and needs of the audience and the judges. I know this is highly unorthodox, but I'm going to say we scrap the rest of the competition and christen this little girl the winner!

I agree. Congratulations, little girl! You're the new winner of Australian Gold Towers! Hooray! Hypothetically. Well, this hasn't ended as I'd hoped. But oh well, I guess I should leave the comedy to the professionals. I'll watch this next act to get some tips.

Please welcome to the stage, Carl Chandler. Hi everyone, my name's Carl. Chandler! Right, that's coming from the live studio audience. Rat Dad's film from the live studio audience. Oh, oh. So I've just got a quick text message right there from Ronnie Chang. He's just remembered the catchphrase.

My new catchphrase is, ooh yeah. Ooh yeah. Is that it? If it's said like a serial killer. Ooh yeah. Just staring straight at you. Wow. Is it boo yeah or that it? If it's said like a serial killer Ooh yeah Just staring straight at you Wow Is it boo yeah or ooh yeah? Ooh yeah

Ooh yeah He's got five minutes to go Before he goes on stage Let's see how unprofessional Ronnie is Yeah that's the place where I could go Now he's in the high five isn't he? No reception No reception there Yeah, that's the place where I could go. Now, he's in the hi-fi, isn't he? No reception.

Is there no reception? No. I think we're learning more about the acoustics of the hi-fi than... Sorry, I can't take your call right now. Everyone's in the hi-fi. Call me back again or send me an email. Thank you. Ooh, yeah! Fuck you. Ooh yeah! Fuck you.

Hang on. Did anyone notice Ronnie's voicemail greeting is, hey, you've called Ronnie, leave me a message or send me an email. But then doesn't give out his address. Oh yeah. Interesting. Ooh yeah. Ooh yeah at hotmail.com

Do we have any other points of business Because we've got a little show stopper at the end Here's a suggestion for a TV show Another TV show you could be on Please marry my boy I'd very much like to see that I think that's for someone else to go on Rather than me I would have thought.

Oh, yeah. The only other note... Should I touch this? Yes, you should. The only other note I wrote was those words there. Why? Why is that on a piece of paper? Were you thinking Lawrence Mooney was back on and you could say,

actually, no. No. If anyone listened to last week's episode, woo. No, no, but this is actually something that happened, right. So someone rang during the week and I put, like there's ads about this show on the internet and stuff, there's listings and whatever, and someone rang my number, because I always put my number out there

because there's not enough of my number out there on the internet. So someone rang and went, oh, so you've got this comedy show on Sunday? And I said, yeah. She goes, look, I've got this sort of weird request. I need to know the answer to this question. It's not for me, it's for my partner. Is it going to have any period jokes in it? Hang on.

But the period jokes implying maybe Downton Abbey, you know, something like that. Yes, because this is someone from the future that had heard the National Sound and Archive thing about this technically these are period jokes we're doing now because current period yeah we're doing them and then they're done yeah we've done 60 minutes of them yeah but is that person is that person here did they end up coming no not the person from the National Sound Archive. Jesus Christ.

So, no, no... No, they've stayed away. The period jokes people have stayed away. What did you say? Did you say there were or weren't going to be period jokes? I said, I personally am not going to make any, but I've got a friend called Tommy Daslow that that's all he talks about in his act, so... It's actually funny that you say that

because on the thing where I put, you know, what's something you've been late to, like, about six people wrote my period. Your nickname on the scene is Tommy Heavy Flow Dazzle. That's his original real name. Dude, it's exactly the opposite because of how I walk, my pregnant walk. All right, well, we've got, are we ready for our showstopper? Are we ready for our showstopper? Are we ready for our closer?

Do you think? You just look behind you into an empty kitchen Where you know that there's nothing in there The showstopper isn't a flambe by the way Sorry? Okay, so let's Okay, so you guys remember Two years ago at the Comedy Festival

We used to have Anyone for Tennis come out And do kind of a wrap-up of what we'd all seen, a musical wrap-up of the podcast. And Anyone for Tennis have now split up. Doody from that group now lives overseas. But we've got Jason English here doing the same thing for us. We brought him back. So a round of applause for Jason English, everyone.

Thank you. Okay, this is completely unrehearsed so if it's shit it better be fucking good fit in nicely for the Dumb Dumb Club now this song is called this song is called Dumb because there are about 200 dumbs in it.

Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. You're here for Tommy and Carl, as you well know. You've done the right thing by voiding their solo shows. You're all here watching live and we're glad you turned up so you can see that Tommy walks like he is up the dock. Carl's a dumb, Tommy's a dumb, I'm a dumb, you're a dumb, everyone's a dumb dumb. Carl's a dumb and Rat Dad's a dumb, he's a dumb, she'm a dumb, you're a dumb. Everyone's a dumb, dumb. Carl's a dumb and Rat Dad's a dumb. He's a dumb, she's a dumb. Everyone's a dumb, dumb.

Come on. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Ronnie Chang was here saying, what up, bro? He's from Malaysia or Singapore or Vietnam. I don't fucking know. He's selling out, taking over the comedy world. And when he quits comedy, he'll be replaced by Josh Hill. Carl's a dumb, Tommy's a dumb.

I'm a dumb, you're a dumb, everyone's a dumb, dumb. Ronnie's a dumb and Josh is a dumb. He's a dumb, she's a dumb, everyone's a dumb, dumb club. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Future generations will never see that. No, that's good. Edit that out. Scott came wearing a beanie to hide his bed hair. He was running late this morning because he had a shag and a McMuffin.

Doesn't rhyme We talked of embarrassing bodies Where Chandler should go That guy who shat himself at Spleen Was making his own episode Carl's a dumb Tommy's a dumb I'm a dumb, you're a dumb

Everyone's a dumb, dumb Scott's a dumb and Ronnie's a dumb He's a dumb, she's a dumb Everyone's a dumb, dumb's a dumb, dumb club. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. David's in the same size room for the last few years he's been around. His career's not going up, but his audience are going down. His show is awesome from the moment he walks on and his big finale is getting a handjob from

a swan. Karl's a dumb, Tommy's a dumb, I'm a dumb, you're a dumb, everyone's a dumb, dumb. David's a dumb, Scott's a dumb, Josh is a dumb. Break it down now, if you're watching or listening or up on the stage, if you're counting down to Nick Cody's birthday, if you're a nanny who's got talent or you didn't end up winning, if you're counting down to Nick Cody's birthday If you're a nanny who's got talent Or you didn't end up winning If you're like Paul Foot And you're humming and you're singing I'm out of modern references I'm doing my best at this

I used to listen a lot But then I started working about nine to five And I found it really hard to keep up With the newer episodes Because, you know, as you know When you come home from work You sort of just want to make dinner And watch TV and go to bed

And just find time to find the downtime If you're past or you're present Or you're here or you're there you sort of just want to make dinner and watch TV and go to bed and just find time to find the downtime. If you're past or you're present or you're here or you're there put your quarter pounders in the air. Yeah Karl's a dumb, Charlie Candler's a dumb, Kyle Chinley's a dumb, everyone's a dumb dumb Tommy's a dumb, Tommy Allsop's a dumb, Peter Walsall's a dumb, everyone's a dumb dumb club Club Jason English everyone Jason English Guys that brings us to the end

of another live little dum-dum club for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival round of applause for our guests this afternoon Ronnie Chang slash Josh Earle Scott Dooley, David O'Doherty Scott your show starts tomorrow here at 5 Burrows Josh Earle, Scott Dooley, David O'Doherty. Scott, your show starts tomorrow here at 5 Burrows. Tomorrow here at 8.15.

You should fuck with me. Yeah. It'll be fun. David, your show's on at the Forum. Yeah, I'm doing a show next Saturday for ages 12 and up. 12 to 18. I'm doing a one-off afternoon show. I just had a shitty time at 12 and I saw a stand-up show.

Is this the period joke show? This will be the... Yeah, no. That's the maturity level of this listenership of this podcast. So that'll be good. Cool. You're doing all right, Joe. Awesome.

And we've got our solo shows, 8.15 at Acme and 9.30 at the Portland Hotel. That's it. Josh Earl's got a little show on TV. Yeah, can you plug my show, Tommy? Oh, yeah. Spicks and Specks, Wednesdays on the ABC. 8.30, please watch. 8.30, yeah.

David's on this week's episode, so there you go. Oh, yeah. How'd you get that? Carl hooked him up. I can't get on it myself, but anyway. Guys, we've got two more of these left if you're listening at home. Sundays at Five Burrows. Guys, have you had a fun time?

Is it worth coming out? Yay! One more round of applause for our guests. Give yourselves a round of applause. We'll see you next time. See you, mate! Five stars from York.