The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 198 - Charlie Pickering & Danny McGinlay

Episode Date: July 23, 2014

Pizza Motorbikes, Itchy Faces and Complete First Seasons.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey mates, not long at all until our live 200th episode spectacular. Carl, where and when is it happening? Saturday, August the 2nd at 7.30pm. It's upstairs at Five Burrows in Hardware Lane, 68 Hardware Lane in Melbourne. It's going to be a heap of fun. We're going to hang around and do plenty of silly things afterwards as well. Yeah, heaps of huge guests confirmed, which is rare for us. It's going to be great.

It's going to be so much fun. So come down, support it. And tickets are moving so quickly. So if you want to come, don't sleep on it otherwise. Oh, man, we're so close to selling out. And then not long after that, we're going to be in Adelaide Tuesday, August the 12th at the Producers Bar from 7 p.m. doing both of our live solo shows from the Comedy Festival,

a live Dum Dum Club podcast, and we're bringing up some of our friends of the show from Melbourne with us. So you're going to get good value for money. There's a lot going into this little three-hour bracket, and it's going to be well worth your time. And, you know, again, we're away from home, so we're going to be up for bakery slash going out afterwards. So, yeah, it's going to be a big, big, big dum-dum party.

Yeah, quit your job. Don't worry about work on the Wednesday. Quit your job and just come and hang out with us for one night. So all of those tickets and stuff are on sale, littledumdumclub.com if you go to the event page. And look forward to seeing you there. See you, mates. Hey, mates.

Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo and sitting opposite me is the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day, Dickhead. What have you got going on in your little life, mate? Well, we're doing this from your house today, which means in my flight zone today was unfortunately once again is domino's pizza so i had to apparently go there today um so i'm sitting here i'm going to be feeling quite ill and you say you said that you had to the meeting time for this was midday so you've gotten a pizza at what 11 30 in the morning yeah you didn't have to like it's not even close

to lunch on your way here i would think you do the podcast and then you get lunch afterwards. I just couldn't take that chance. But you know what? It made me feel even worse. Like, I go in there and this is a Domino's that doesn't even care anymore. I had to climb past motorbikes inside the shop. Oh, yeah. The delivery bikes.

Yeah, yeah. They just leave them in the shop now, apparently. It's like it's not enough of a signal that I'm going to have a bad day. This is going to be bad quality food by just being Domino's. But they're like, we're just going to put motor vehicles in your way. Yeah, that's pretty. We're going to keep them in the shop. We don't care if the exhaust fumes affects the food, you know,

as if it's going to get worse. It'd probably make it better. What if they just turned the whole joint into a garage, you know? So it's like you're – Greasy Joe's. Yeah. So you're walking past like a car up on the big thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You could – no, you actually get to ride around while you're waiting for 10 minutes. The motorbikes are there. Yeah. Go for a spin. Oh, yeah, that's good. Yeah, test drive. A bit of motorbikes, dodge them inside a food place. But they're so – like they're now doing – they're bringing in all these other different foods.

Like they're trying to do everything different. Hot chips and stuff? Yeah. So it's not that unfeasible that they would just go, and we'll just fix your car up while we're making your deep dish as well. It can't be too far off them giving that a go. Have the CEO on their ads coming in and going, yeah, now we can fix your car as well.

Can I say this? And this might be the turning point when we finally get complaints. We get a lot of complaints, but what is it with a certain, look. Oh no. Is it true? Is it true that a lot of people from

sort of the Indian Pakistan sort of. Bye Charlie and Danny. Part of the world Love Pizza Hut And love Domino's And love

Pizza Haven Stuff like that Well give us a call Are you from that Vague area That Carl just mentioned And do you like That specific chain

I'm not sure how many people We need to hear from Before we can say Definitively that Yes that's chain? I'm not sure how many people we need to hear from before we can say definitively that yes, that's a thing. I would like to get scientists in to find out if that is racist because I don't think that is. I'm just saying. Yeah, scientists. I'm just saying that it seems like...

Boys, put cancer on the shelf. We're going to work on solving whether or not this podcast is racist. Pizza racism. Get on that. Oh, God. Okay, well, let's introduce our guests as if they even want to be introduced. Yeah, the worst episode of Q&A ever. Let's take this big issue.

Well, first of all, you know him. He's been on the show many times before. He's got a DVD coming out that we're going to talk about if he wants that to be associated again with this. There's a lot of corresponding material on that DVD with what we've just been talking about. We'll find out. Do people from Australia like Danny's DVD?

Please welcome back into Little Dumb Dumb Club, Danny McGinley. Yay! Wow. That vague area is called the subcontinent. Yes, that's what I was looking for, the subcontinent. Yeah, and that's all I'm going to help you out with. Okay. Okay.

And also joining us today, you knew him from the project, then you didn't know him from the project, and now you know him again from the project for a little bit. Please welcome back into Little Dumb Dumb Club, Charlie Pickering. Hey, just picking up on Carl's point, do you even bloody recognise our country anymore? What were you talking about? What was that?

I just tend to go... Do you know what? Everyone fucking loves pizza. Do you know why pizza is fucking everywhere in the world? Everyone loves pizza. No, I mean... Except you, because you go to fucking Domino's. But that's what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about specifically bad pizza. If I go past the Pizza Hut... Is that why you go to Domino's? Because there's no Indians in there. So hang on. Wait. So this has now just morphed into you saying, do you know which races have poor taste in pizza?

Keep going. But what I'm fascinated with is that you... So you're after an answer. Like you want to know, so how many people would you need to hear from of that vague, of the subcontinent that go I love Pizza Hut before you'll be happy. Two.

That'll do it. That's a really shit episode of Family Feud. Here we are. We've got the subcontinental Grant Dania there. We surveyed two people. Do they like pizza? Yes. Survey says one. We've got the Tendulkar family here. What would you like to eat? Pizza.

67. Well, there you go. There's your answer. Should we start again? So, should we turn the racist term of people from the subcontinent into pizza munchers? Oh, boy. Bad pizza munchers. Wow. We've got complaints already.

We've got aers. Wow. Oh, we've got complaints already. We've got a complaint. No. You know what? If I answer that call, that's from Dave O'Neill, it's likely to get more racist from here. Yeah, good. I'll tell you what. If that was a phone call from a call centre, that was going to go south very quickly.

Hey, it's about midday. What are you, you about to get lunch or are you, have you had lunch? What have you got here in the office? I just like the fact that Carl is complaining that they've got a couple of motorbikes in the front of the shop, right? Do you know why those motorbikes are there? They've barely fucking opened.

Like, they're just going, this is ridiculous. No one comes in here at 11 o'clock in the morning. No wonder the bikes aren't out of the way yet. Just, yeah, calling up at 10am and going, can I just get a large pizza? You're like one of those people, you know when someone has a garage sale, and they put the sign up the day before going garage sale tomorrow, and people knocking on the door at like one in the morning.

Are you open yet? Can I buy you a table, tennis table? Got any pizza? Well, that's actually funny you bring that up because this happened to me the other night. I went to a concert at the Forum Theatre in Melbourne and at the end of the gig, everyone's coming out, huge pile of people kind of flocking out.

The doors are all open. What was the gig, Tommy? It was the band Something for Kate. Oh, yes. Wow. Old school. Yeah. Wow.

Steel Saunders friend. Yeah. I got a free ticket claim. We were coming out and as everyone's flocking out, there's a Domino's pizza delivery guy standing there in the doorway and like we didn't sort of see how it panned out. What colour were the people that went up to it? Oh, my God.

But there was too much of a flood of people to sort of stop and kind of take this in. But what it looked like had happened was half an hour, like, you know, sort of as the band have like gone off before the encore, someone's there going, bloody hungry and I can't really be bothered going, looking after this. And they've ordered a pizza to be delivered and gone,

mate, just sort of stand out the front of the Forum Theatre and I'll find you. Yeah. That's a wild move That's so almost classy, but not classy That is also the climax to the film The Wog Boy Is it really? Yeah, he gets a pizza at a Silver Spoon sort of service place

And everyone's outraged I don't know, is that the climax or is that like midway through? It was when I turned off Hey, can I bring something to the table to talk about? I don't know. Is that the climax or is that like midway through? It was when I turned off. Hey, just can I bring something to the table to talk about? Please. Just on the topic of race, right? Yes.

There's this new story in the last couple of days. I don't know if you saw this. There was a restaurant in Chinatown in Sydney and they had an English language menu and a Chinese menu like in Mandarin. Right. language menu and a Chinese menu, like in Mandarin. Right. And the prices for the same dishes were 10% more expensive in the English menu than the Mandarin menu, right? And my lord didn't a bunch of people who have never,

ever had grounds to claim that people have been racist against them, want to just fucking launch. Like just wanted to be like, I am a victim of racism. I didn't even go to the restaurant, but oh, I am tired of the racism, the prejudice against me. I shall overcome. Dave O'Neill's ringing you back, I think. Dave O'Neill's ringing you back I think

Here's the thing If in your life English speaking white person Going to a Chinese restaurant In Chinatown In Sydney In your life If the price of racism is about $1.20

For a beef and black bean Shut the fuck up That's not really that much of a price to pay for racism. Yeah, it's pretty minimal. Here's my question about Chinatown, right? Oh, here we go. Why isn't there more Pizza Hut? Ripped out of today's headlines, the opinions of Carl Chandler.

A lot of Asians like Chinese food. Right, so my question about Chinatown is, that's a cool name for it as long as they called it that. You know what I mean? 100% true. 100%. As long as that wasn't just how it came to be known.

As long as it wasn't, oh, where's that? Oh, bloody Chinatown over here where all the bloody Chinas are. It's a very heavy handed name for a themed street. With the concept of if it was one of us that had named it, that is a pretty rotten name to call something. I think the first ever Chinatown in the world was in Melbourne.

Right. And it would have been all the Chinese migrants coming over for the gold rush. So it very likely came from a racist place. Is. So it very likely... I didn't know. So is Chinatown a franchise? I didn't know that. Well, there's one in most cities. But yeah, that's what I was about to say.

Pretty much every major city has a Chinatown. And I can't think of too many other... Like not every city has like a Little Italy or whatever. No, that's right. We could, if someone had the foresight to call Ligon Street Little Italy, that would have been great. We'd have a Little Italy. Well, like you say with Chinatown.

Everyone loves a Little Italy. Yeah. Do you know who loves Little Italy? People from the subcontinent. They love pizza. But can I tell you... No, no. That's a street full of Pizza Hut, Pizza Haven and Eagle Boys and that's called shitty Italy.

Yeah. Hey, can I tell you my favourite Chinatown fact from around the world? I got told this this week. I know someone that just got back from Cuba, right? Great Chinatown in Cuba. No, well, that's the thing. There is a Chinatown in Havana. Get this right.

They thought, right, we're going to keep up with the rest of the world. We're going to have a Chinatown. And so they built Chinatown and it's all like, like it is in Melbourne or in Sydney, like there's Chinese theme to the architecture. But once they built it and Chinese immigrants were like setting up restaurants and stuff there, the Cuban government like went very anti-business. Like they went fully communist on the idea of anyone making money

out of running restaurants. So they took over. They actually took over all the businesses. So all of the Chinese who were running the restaurants just left. Oh, wow. So now Chinatown exists. There are lots of Chinese restaurants, but it's all prepared by Cuban people,

and all the money goes to the government. No one has any idea how to cook Chinese food at all. I love it. That is the biggest commitment to Chinatown I have ever heard. I just imagine they violate human rights. For all those people that have been in a Chinese restaurant and thought, fuck, it'd be great

if I could get a cigar here right about now. Yeah, yeah. They even built next door Little Tibet and Chinatown just took it over. Can we get really Yeah, yeah. They even built next door Little Tibet and nothing. Just took it over. Can we get really geographically specific and go into some Melbourne gear? You know the Victoria Street where all the Vietnamese restaurants are? What's with that fucking boat thing that they've built as you're driving?

Listen to you. By the way, any sentence that begins with, what's with that fucking boat? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got to tread real carefully. You guys know the thing I'm talking about? It's like as you drive in, it's just like you drive under it. Yeah, they're making, well, I guess what if we're following a theme would be called Vietnam Town.

Yeah. Little Saigon. Yeah, but I don't need to drive under a big, that would cost a lot of money to put up. Is that necessary? I don't think they've done it well. I don't need to drive under a big... That would have cost a lot of money to put up. Is that necessary? I don't think they've done it well. I don't think it looks good. I think something there is a good idea. I think having a gateway to the near southeast is a good idea.

Hang on. That's just a direction. Calm down. But it doesn't strike me as awesome. I don't think it's done a direction. Calm down. But it doesn't strike me as awesome. I don't think it's done too well. I think they're just claiming it because there's also a big Vietnamese hub in Footscray in the west side of Melbourne, and Richmond, of course, is the east side of Melbourne.

I think they're just claiming little Vietnam for themselves or Ho Chi Minh suburb, if you will. So I think it's just marketing. I'm just going to turn up to the next council meeting and play this podcast on a boombox and just go, here's our thoughts, here's the thoughts of four members of the community. Well, I've been affected by a racist taunt of my own this week.

You all right? Well, I'll tell you about it. I was at, you know, I've talked about it on the show many times before. I run Five Iris Comedy on the Thursday night and I co-run Comedy at Spleen on the Monday night. So I reckon every two weeks I will go on. I'll be trying new material. The other week, the second other week,

I will be just helping to run it. So invariably, I'll get out at the start of the night. I'll introduce, I'll tell everyone what's expected of them sort of with the comedy night and what's going to happen and whatever, and then I'll introduce the MC, get them all rolled up like a warm-up man. Which is a touch controlling, I'll say that. That doesn't happen. Most comedy nights just the MC comes out,

but Carl Filson needs to just tell the audience that they're the audience and the MC's the MC. It's a little bit Cuban Chinatown, isn't it? It really is. He also invariably, in that little intro, he's only on stage for about a minute, but he will call the audience cunts. Yeah, there's liberal smattering of the C word

in the dawning minutes of the gig. No, please come down. So I'm calling these guys cunts, right? And one guy was racist towards me. No, so... Has the temerity to call me a white devil. Unbelievable. I actually did call someone that

in the intro this week. Yeah, I know. He put tandoori on your pizza and it ruined it. No, no, no. What happened was... No, he actually... This guy actually...

As I'm introing, I'm going, it's going to be a great night. It's going to be awesome. Who's up for it? And this guy just goes, yeah, fucking get off the stage, mate. Oh, wow. Oh, nah. I'm going, it's going to be a great night. It's going to be awesome. Who's up for it? And this guy just goes, yeah, fucking get off the stage, mate. Oh, wow. Oh, nah.

I'm going to call you something now. So anyway, what happened was I got to the end of the gig. You know, comedy explained, there's generally a lot of people that haven't been there before come in for the first time and they generally walk out the door and go, wow, what a great night. I can't believe, you know, that's on for free and that we only just found out about it. Some of them are so excited they spontaneously and involuntarily just jack off on the sidewalk.

Some nights it's just some kind of spaff storm out in front of the place. It's going on. This comedy's amazing. I cannot not touch myself. That Carl Chandler, the best introduction artist in the world. We should follow him, at Carl Chandler. I'm so glad we came here to the top of Bourke Street every Monday night.

Yeah, anyway, that's the end of that story. So hang on, how did you get racially slated? So this is what happened. So people come up to you and say stuff like that. Then this couple came up to me and go, and obviously they'd never been to a comedy night before and they were a bit confused by the fact that I'd come out and just intro'd the night

and sort of gone back again and hadn't done anything else. So they came up to me. Do you know what's remarkable? They've never seen a comedy night before yet they knew that was confusing. I don't know what this is but I know that it's wrong.

No, but there was a girl and a guy and the guy was like, oh, you were out there for a little bit. I did like that bit where you called that guy a cunt. That was actually pretty good. So, yeah, I like what you did. But the girl goes, so she's trying to figure out how the night works and how it's unfolded that night. She goes, so tonight, what's's and you were part of it right

so what's what's your official role and i went oh gee that's i guess that's a good question for someone who hasn't been to comedy before so i said oh look is it you know i guess it's um um i i sort of run the night i book the night i perform I perform. I wasn't performing tonight. And she just didn't hear that and just went over the top and went, is it Aussie Bogan? Wow. Wait, what? She asked me, is my official role within the night the Aussie Bogan? Great.

So you're like the mascot of Spleen is just this Bogan that comes out. This drunken guy that comes out and insults people and then pops back in his box. But having said that... You're Dickie Nee. Having said that, this was a girl that was very drunk and told me she was a farmer from the Wimmera. And she's having a go at me going,

I'm the official Aussie bogan of the night? But to be fair, you've been to Thailand three times in one year and you just had dominoes for breakfast. I don't quite know what you're complaining about. But that is not official. You're not being paid to do it. It's just your life. I'm unofficial. I'm doing that pro

bono. You're off the clock. So she thinks bogans get drunk, come out and abuse people but are also quite good at the logistics of the evening. Yeah, but I wasn't drunk or anything. I just came out and introduced it and she was like, oh, what's bloody Paul Hogan doing up there? What's Chris Franklin doing? You should embrace this and make this part of the hook of Spleen.

Like when you introduce the MC, you come out wearing an Australian flag as a cape. Gary Chook presents comedy at Spleen. Yeah, exactly. Just come out just so you know who's a comedian and who's not. I'm the one with the corks hanging off the hat. That's the intro dude. I would like it if you did start to make it like a character

that you used just to introduce the night. So you as comedy promoter were different to your stand-up, but over time that character started to take over your life and you just became that guy over time that character started to take over your life and you just became that guy over time? If this character was a particularly angry guy with bad dietary habits who would never propose to his long-term girlfriend, we could argue this character has taken over Carl's life.

Wow. Oh, well. Welcome to the room of mirrors, buddy. Jeez, let's get back to me being racist. Get back onto that safe ground. Your move that you did just then, it's something that you do frequently when you're uncomfortable, is just to scratch your face heaps to the point where it looks like

you're going to make an actual flesh wound in your own cheek. Well, what about this? On that topic, do you think when spiders have an ice habit, they imagine Grant Denyus crawling under their skin? Thank you! Survey says, welcome back. Oh, you're a television stable mate. Allegedly.

No one is safe. Allegedly. No one is safe. When did you write that? No, just now. Oh, really? Literally just sort of – Because you were talking about Carl, like, scratching his face,

and I just immediately thought of – and I just flipped it and just bang. It's a gift. Oh, it's great stuff. That is how you write an ice joke, right there. It's just great to have something in this podcast that wasn't in any way racist. Yeah. Well, let's get back to that anyway. So I was in Thailand, and – no, I – you know what, I've been talking about the last couple of weeks,

been talking about going to Thailand a couple of weeks ago, brought my mum and dad to Thailand. I'm sort of thinking, you know, I'm the good son because I shouted mum and dad to go over there, paid for accommodation, paid for flights, thinking, you know, I've got a brother. I've got a brother that's probably not the good brother. I'm thinking I'm just moving on up in the world. I'm by far the number one son after this one i'm absolutely killing it i've brought my mom and dad never been on a plane never been overseas i'm giving this giving them this great experience dad you know mom's loving it dad the whole time is sort of every day he's really worried sort of

going oh god you know what's happening today and you know it's like just relax dad like every other day we go into a great restaurant then he'd get there and sort of stop worrying going all right but he'd still be worried every single day anyway we've all got back now um anyway he's got dengue fever now so um but i'm responsible for that i'm the one that brought him over for that so wait does he does he actually have dengue fever i think he has something very like i looked up the symptoms and i'm like that's what it looks like he's like you know really tired he's he's in bed all the time and I'm like, that's what it looks like. He's like, you know, really tired. He's in bed all the time. Or is that just being old?

Yeah. I was going to say, yeah. No, no. He's been ill for like three weeks. Oh, no. I'm like, oh, no. Oh, car. I'm the one who's been laughing going, oh, you know, you don't need injections.

Just, yeah, pat that dog. Yeah, kiss the dog. Whatever you want. It's like bloody Anglesey It's like a lawn It's like It's just a holiday destination You've bought heaps of DVDs to watch when you get home Even if you are sick for a little bit

Yeah, suck that woman's doodle Whatever you want to do It's just It's just like being at home Number one, son Now that is classic Aussie Bogan That's how you Suck that woman's doodle

That's how you warm up the crowd For the MC to come out That gets everyone front and centre Everyone facing the front My face is itchy Hey speaking of Sucking doodles We haven't revisited this

This was a few weeks ago on the show We had a listener who sent us a thing He found a girl on Tinder And Tinder kind of matches you based on your shared interests on Facebook and he'd found this girl who they had a shared interest of this podcast. And so they'd been sort of going back and forth and then the trail went a bit cold and she stopped replying and so we sort of talked about it a bit and then we got a photo of the girl and we put it up on the Facebook page. And then we got a photo of the girl and we put it up on the Facebook page.

And I, for some reason, a dude who listens to this show has my phone number. And he texted me and said, hey, that's my sister that you just put a photo up of from Tinder on the Facebook page for the show. And he sent me a screenshot of a correspondence back and forth with her, like saying, hey, you're on the Facebook page facebook page oh that was you that they talked about on the show so this is the this is the text that he sent me this is the screenshot of the texting that he sent me but have a look what she's in his phone as up the top so the top of the message where it says the name that he's got his sister on the phone is just my sister, which is spectacular. Like that is so great. I love it.

He knows a lot of Kates. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But how often are you getting caught out by that? Like going, oh, text her E for, oh, yeah, it's under S for my sister. Yeah, yeah. That's very weird. And also, generally that helps you, you know, for whatever reason, you would see that name on there and you'd have to be tempted

at least a few times to pick that up and go, hello, my sister. You know what I mean? Yeah. You don't want to have to do work. You just read out the name that's already there. Yeah. Do you believe him that it's actually his sister? Because if he was going to do an elaborate prank like this...

Oh, sure. ...and you want to get all Columbo on him, you could just point out that pivotal detail... Yeah, yeah. ...that no one saves their sister's name as my sister. But I don't get why, like... He's got a lot to gain from this trick, though, from this scam. That's my sister that you put on a Facebook page once.

So? Oh, yeah. And the other... Like, if we're being suspicious here, like, you just said, somehow he has my number. Yes. Yeah. What the fuck's going on? What's he got your name saved under?

My Tommy? My podcast friend. Yeah, I don't't like, I think. So his whole phone is just, everything's under M. There's nothing under any of the letters. Yeah, I think, because we, you know, so your number's out there. And I think we talked about how my number's actually pretty easy to find if you do some Googling. So I think there's a couple of people that messaged me and were like, hey, got it, dickhead.

Yeah. Yeah. Messaged me and were like, hey, got it, dickhead. Yeah. Yeah. I've got two texts while I've been here from someone, yeah, from a listener who, you know that trick we've talked about on the podcast before about how you can text someone and have, make up your name to be saved in that phone? Yes.

Yeah. What about, how was that trick? Like when you get a message from Vodafone about your bill. Yeah. It just comes up as Vodafone. Yeah, without you having Vodafone about your bill. Yeah. It just comes up as Vodafone. Yeah, without you having Vodafone in your phone. So they've sent me one as well. Provided if you're with Vodafone, you actually have reception.

Yeah. Yeah. Zing. Yeah, you fucking got them, Danny. Thank you. Sorry, I've just been told Vodafone have folded. That's done it. We've brought down the elephant.

It's not even uploaded yet. Malaysia. When I was getting courtesy giggles, it was all, that's your fucking joke, McGinley. Malaysia Air's had two planes missing. Here we go. Go back to the pizza story. What are those Ruskies up to?

They're still going, but you've brought them down with one mention on a podcast. Vodafone. That's impressive. Anyway, Wobzy, apparently Wobzy just texted me saying, it has come to my attention I mention podcast. Vodafone. That's impressive. Anyway, Wobbsy. Apparently Wobbsy just texted me saying, It has come to my attention I mention nearly every episode of your show.

Thanks, mates. Please have your dum-dum Mario Kart eight day soon, dickheads. What do you mean mentioned every episode of the podcast? Because he's called himself Wobbsy. Oh, he's called himself Wobbsy. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay.

Cool. That's weird. Yeah. But Charlie, you've just come back from Americas. The Americas. Yes. How long did you stay there? Like three months? Three months. Yeah. That's okay. Yeah. Cool. That's weird. Yeah. But Charlie, you've just come back from Americas, the Americas. Yes. How long did you stay there? Like three months? Three months, yeah.

And New York most of the time? Yeah, the whole time. I mean, took a couple of little trips. Went to Boston. Yeah. Went to Cape Cod, Nantucket. What do you do with three months in New York? That's a good question.

I reckon that is a good question. What races did you see eating pizza over there? I saw all races eating pizza. Wow. I went to the pizza store at the United Nations. What chain do they have in there? Pizza Haven? Yeah.

I did stand- and I I did a I did an improv course a UCB improv course there and took some meetings and I made some contacts

so you did an improv course yeah you're on a beach go ooh it's hot wow that's that's really that's the thing

don't think, just speak. Yes, and. Yes, and there's the ocean. Yes, and there's sand on my feet. But it was really good. What would you have said three months before now? You're on a beach. I'm in a car.

Shit. No, I'm on the way to the beach. Oh, fuck. I'm glad I'm not at a beach. I'm in a car. Shit. Oh, no, I'm on the way to the beach. Oh, fuck. I'm glad I'm not at the beach. Oh, shit. But, yeah, just hung out, really. Just hung out. Caught up with Scott Dooley.

Oh, yeah. Friend of the show, Scott Dooley. Friend of the show, Scott Dooley, who's living over there now. What does he do? What does he do? He does stand-up. He does numerous potties and he's been auditioning

for a few things. What does Scott Dooley do for money though? He's just still living on payout from whatever radio station he was at. Somehow this seems less appropriate to talk about than the... I would have taken this one offline. And I'd say that I'm not going to speak

as to the finances of Scott Dooley when I don't know about them. But little Scotty D's fine. He's fine. Let's talk about your finances then, Charlie. To the nearest digit, exactly how much money is in your bank account right now? That's a pretty direct fucking question.

No, I've got a mortgage so it's a negative amount oh okay cool yeah I wasn't seriously wanting that information but that's cool I would have taken it though

I would have taken the information I would have been fine with that but so where were you staying in New York in the West Village nice

which and then we had to I don't know if there's any is this going to be funny I don't know but we were in the West Village for most of it for about half of it and then we had to – I don't know if there's any – is this going to be funny? I don't know. But we were in the West Village for about half of it, and then we had to move to another apartment because we booked a place for the whole time on Airbnb,

and then they just cancelled the fucking booking out of nowhere. So that's a warning, Airbnbers. We've been reading a lot of dodgy stuff recently about Airbnb. There's that woman in California who had someone staying in her place and she's now gone, no, I live here now. I'm not getting out. And there's like, California law is like, if you've inhabited a place for 30 days,

you can claim ownership of it. So she actually has to now employ lawyers and stuff to try and get this person out of their house. And Airbnb have just gone, nah, sorry, not really much we can do about it. Does she cite the case of finders keepers? Finders versus keepers. Yeah.

That's pretty full on. That's a pretty, you know, elaborate scam. Dumb law. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. In Australia, that is adverse possession where you occupy a property. But in Australia, you have to do it for like 15 years without someone coming and taking it. Like it's a long

period of time. 30 days. Yeah, it's not much at all. That means you can't go away on fucking holiday. Yeah. For fear that someone will come. Do you even bloody recognise this country anymore? That means you can wake up from a coma in hospital and go, this is my house now. This is mine. I own

this hospital. Hospitals are fucking expensive, man. Now that's a scam. That's a good scam. Go to California, jump off a building. Put yourself into a coma. Next thing you know, you're in the bloody hospital. Carefully enter a coma.

I'll just be having some of this morphine that I now own. It was good. It was good just to not have a daily deadline. Yeah. That would be an awesome dream of a lot of people to at some stage live in New York though.

Yeah. And it's great. But the problem is all it does is make you want to live there longer. Oh, right. It is just the best city in the world. How many hot dogs do you reckon you had? Probably had over a three-month period, I probably had six memorable hot dogs.

Yeah. You can't get too fucking carried away. America has the greatest scientists in the world finding ways to get calories into your body. Yeah. And just their flavour combinations are fucking off the Richter and just they've got more variations of Oreos than we have people in this country. Right. The best thing you can say about the States is that they've worked out how to get the motorbikes out of their pizza shops.

Yeah. Which does not get enough credit. Just focused on the fucking pizzas. But yeah, it's great, but it just makes you want to live there more. What movies do you watch on the plane? Fucking hell, I can't believe it. Really? I'm joking.

No, I once watched The Dark Knight Returns coming into New York, and that wasn't it. To watch a movie about New York, basically New York being blown up as you're coming into New York, that gave me a few nightmares. Yeah. Good thing you didn't watch any, like, Fahrenheit 9-11. Yeah. That would have been worse, I think.

No, the Corners were smart enough not to play that on-screen. If you ever watch the film Armageddon, you're going to shit yourself no matter where you are. Yeah, that's right. Terrible. Funny thing about Armageddon, you know when they save the world. Have you noticed how it's fucking daytime everywhere in the world?

Oh, right. Have you noticed that? Like they go around the world and show people fucking cheering and waving American flags all around the world and it's fucking daytime everywhere. It's like I'm amazed. The people who put that together had so little understanding of the rest of the world and it's fucking daytime everywhere. It's like I'm amazed the people who put that together had so little understanding of the rest of the world. I'm amazed they knew there were other countries.

It's the Santa Claus law. Like he's just able to get around in an unfeasible. Wouldn't that have been, that would have been a great fucking movie. Santa Claus. If they got Santa Claus to land on the fucking asteroid and his magical fucking sleigh that's the sequel right there yeah someone's working on that who wrote Armageddon JJ Abrams really yeah so so all the jokes in there are intentional he's a he's a genius and it is one

of the greatest films ever made and I'm happy to have this debate with anyone at a pub all right let's start now no it's not it not. It's shit. Damn it! Hey, let's talk about this quickly. We've had a listener in Perth who has written to us and said, hey, I really like the show and I'd like to give back

in some way. I brew my own beer so how about I make an official Dum Dum Club beer for you guys? And I wanted to bring this up with you two because you guys have brewed,

you have experience in making your own beer. Yeah, we've brewed some beer. We've brewed some beer. McGickering's Brewing Industries. Any tips and tricks you can give us on this? Because we're getting a choice of a Carl flavour and a Tommy flavour.

Yours is obviously going to be some kind of mousse flavoured. Mine's like chocolate raspberry or something like that. Raspberry Saison. We made a Raspberry Saison for Danny's wedding. Oh, right. We made the beer for the wedding. The trouble and strife.

I remember drinking there. I wasn't invited. Yeah. You don't book a coffee room in Australia, so you weren't invited. What I found weird about the wedding was I was emceeing the reception, but Carl got up before I spoke

and told everyone how it was going to work. Called Danny's mum a cunt. Yeah, sweet, sweet work. Yeah, it was very strange. It was very strange. And there were people there that had never been to a wedding before and they came up to me afterwards and said, what was Carl's role?

They were justifiably confused. Read your invite, the classic Aussie bogan. The classic Aussie bogan did a bit of strip work at the Bucks as well, which I enjoyed. What? What? Do you remember at my Bucks, there was a stripper. You had a stripper, yeah.

And she went mental. Yeah, what did I have to do with it, though? Nothing. Oh, good. You were there watching. We're just bringing up the good times. No, I was just worried there for a second that I did something that I'd forgotten about.

The funniest story I heard about my bucks I didn't see this happening But we did end up at a strip club And apparently all the comics Like Steel Saunders, Xavier and you guys Were just bullying Luke McGregor In that every time a lady came up to talk to him You kind of shoved McGregor to talk to her and you would watch him have the world's most awkward conversation repeatedly.

And apparently he kept asking, so what do you do for a living? Yeah. As forms of bullying go, being pushed towards an attractive stripper is probably one of the better outcomes. I've never seen a work cover ad about that. For advice for brewing beer, just the best advice I can give you is when you have your beer and you're quite excited by it,

but you offer it to other people, get ready for them to react as if you just said do you want to come and live in the fort I built? Yeah, right. Yeah. That's 100% true. No one is as excited about your beer as you are.

It's like kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, sure, sure. We're excited because we're not making it. We just get free beer. Yeah, that's fine. That'd be really good. Yeah.

He keeps wanting to make a pale ale for me, which I'm not a big fan of, so I'm trying to get that to him. Because you're allergic to it? Yeah, no, I just, yeah, really boring. Not allergic, but just it makes me sick. Is that from Adelaide Fringe? Could be. Because I don't really like Coopers now

because I've just had so many big nights at Adelaide Fringe on Coopers. I can't. When I drink it, I feel really hungover and my ticket sales aren't enough. Yeah, I can't drink. Coopers is green anymore. It's too much. It's too... And it's the trendy du jour beer for parties.

Good luck getting Coopers to sponsor the fucking podcast. Good luck getting anyone to sponsor the podcast. So we'll pay out on whatever. Sponsors tonight are Domino's Pizza and India. I feel like saying every time, hey, we're on board for sponsors, but I don't think it's ever going to happen, is it? You had Punchline for a while.

Oh, yeah, we did have Punchline for a while. Yeah, they came to the party for a bit. With those baffling ads in the middle of the podcast. We're going to have Punchline DVDs to give away at the Live Melbourne 200th episode. Oh, that's nice. We've got a little thing planned where we've got a bunch of DVDs to give away,

so that's going to be good. Speaking of DVDs... Hey, what a link! Danny McGinlay has recorded a DVD called... Danny McGinlay, The Complete First Season. Yes. Just to make sure, in case you were worried about getting low sales, you've just given it a baffling title.

It is a straight stand-up DVD. It is, yeah. I think it's a great title. Thank you, Charlie. How about that? And actually, it was chosen by my fans. I put it out on Facebook with about five options. And yeah,

and all six of them voted. So yeah, this one won by a landslide. Yeah, right. But it's a straight stand-up DVD. Yeah. And it's coming out in the next month,

I believe. Yeah, as soon as I can get it all together. The government's looking at it now for classification. Oh, really? Yeah, doing that legitimately and everything. Oh, wow.

Yeah, it costs like 700 bucks because of the director's commentary. I was going to say, that would be a big reason to get it properly classified. That's right. So there's the feature on there and there's a stupid little sketch and there's the director's commentary. Don't sell it too hard. And then the director's commentary, which is like, Dumb Dumb fans, a bonus Dumb Dumb Club episode.

It's like maybe the best Dumb Dumb Club episode. To be completely honest, it was so much fun. It was you in a room with me, Tommy, Harley Breen and Nick Cody. That's correct. And you didn't want to do a typical director's commentary where you talk about the craft and get two up your own arse. No, I did. I totally did. That's exactly what I wanted and you arseholes ruined it.

Oh, that's the party line, is it? Oh, is that what we were meant to do? We'd all talk about how joke structure works and the thriving Australian comedy scene and it just became a hate fest. Well, as soon as you didn't let me do the intro to it, I just went berserk. A lot of people were really confused

that have watched it. They watched it with the director's commentary and they said, I wish I had someone to stand up at the start and explain how this was going to go. Yeah, sales for Farmers in the Wimmera have been huge. So what it is, it's basically a roasting of you. Yeah. Apparently an unintentional one.

Oh, no, I'm sure you guys intended it. Yes, yes. It is quite funny. It was four mates and let's be honest, we had beers while we did it and pizza. And it was just... We went pretty hard. It's like a proper Don Rickles style roasting. Yeah.

And you've got the whole DVD captioned so we could read along and comment on it, whatever. Yeah, subtitles. Yeah. And for people out there, I so, so say that you should pick up a copy because it is so funny. Yeah. I'd love to know if it translates for not being in the room. It was very funny in the room.

But yeah, we, yeah, you didn't I did wonder what sort of self-reflection would be going on after we all left the recording session because we went, it got pretty brutal. It was so funny and so much fun and then we got to the end and then we all had that little bit of shame and I think

we all hugged you and then your wife came in and we went, do not listen to the commentary track of this. But also your wife came back in with your kid and it was like none of us could really turn it off. So your wife's there with your kid and we're going, yeah, you're fucked, McGinley. It was a lot of fun. Yeah, so please, please go out and support Danny McGinley

and get his DVD. But, man, it is so worth it just to get that commentary track. Yeah, please buy it. As I said, got a kid and got to feed him. Getting classified. So what you're going to hear back from them is, you know, you hear with, like, Hollywood movies and stuff, how they, like, submit it to the ratings board

and it's going to be an R-rated and they want it to be able to get teenagers in so they have to cut some scenes out or whatever. I probably could ask for that, but it's actually a bit bullshit. I pretty much had to do all the work for them because they give you a form where you have to point out where violence, sex, drug use, anything,

and then you have to be very specific. So say it was Pulp Fiction, you would have to say, you know, 34 minutes in, you see a syringe go into an arm and it's clearly heroin. And, yeah, you have to fill that out on the form. I don't know why you're sending Pulp Fiction off to be rated when it's already been outfed. Hang on.

With that example, did Fleety open for you on this DVD? So I have to say, I was really worried. I thought I had to write down every time I swore and we swore on the country. But thankfully I could just write swearing throughout. But this is what's going to be based on whether it becomes M or R. I've said the swearing is non-aggressive. It's incidental conversational swearing.

Right. But yeah, that's up to the classifier and everything. That's fascinating. The classifier to be sitting there listening to your DVD extras and going is that an aggressive fuck you or is that a conversational fuck you?

They called him an unfunny cunt. That's pretty full on. I said we never said the C-bomb, but I reckon we probably did. No, I don't think we would have. In the director's commentary, I'm not sure. Can I ask another question? You said that it was captioned. The subtitles, yeah.

Yeah. So did you have to submit a script of what you did? It's actually sadder than that, I think. How did that happen? I sat watching the rough cut of the DVD and transcribed it. Wow! It took about three days because I kept... You kept throwing up, yeah?

I kept... No, it's mind-knowingly horrible. It's so... Yeah, we've seen you wrecked, mate. This is what it's like. It's back on, it's back on. We're doing another one. So you had to...

You sat there typing it out word for word. Yeah. And then... Hopefully not just so it was captioned so these arseholes could tee off. Yeah, that's pretty much what it was. No. Because there's nothing worse

than when you're watching a director's commentary of something and you can't follow along what's happening in the story. So I did it just for that. Can someone help me out with this? Has YouTube got a function yet that it will do automatic subtitles on stuff? I think it does. Yeah, I think it does. Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It captions things. A friend of the show, Josh Earl, has put up things from his gala set where it just does it automatically. But it gets it insanely wrong. I'm pretty sure if you go on there now and just find a clip of yourself, you'll be able to get it to do a transcript. Because I've done it for stuff that I've put up. And it's so wrong.

It's one of those things where you go, why is this a feature? Because it's not even close to being good and accurate yet. Is it funny? Yeah. Maybe that's why they're keeping it up there, because it's good comedy gold. Yeah, they're just hoping Jimmy Fallon makes a segment out of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all any of us can hope for, really.

So we put last night's segment into YouTube, and you'll be surprised at the results. Roll it. It's actually, I quite like when you get a dodgy DVD, it's usually from Asia, and you'll be surprised at the results. Roll it. It's actually, I quite like when you get a dodgy DVD, it's usually from Asia and you put the subtitles on. Oh, here we go.

The word's slightly off. It's often, they retranslate, it sounds quite poetic. I remember watching Aliens vs Predator and they're all like, we gotta get out of here.

This place is getting dangerous. Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah, nice. It's quite good. They should put subtitles on RedTube. Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah, nice. It's quite good. They should put subtitles on RedTube. Oh, oh, oh, harder. Oh.

Are you trying that here on us? This Place is Getting Dangerous. No, I just wrote that subtitles joke then. It was like Charlie and his ice gag. Yeah. Just off the top of our dome, mate. It's easy. But two very opposite ends of the spectrum.

In terms of quality. This is. It's easy. But two very opposite ends of the spectrum in terms of quality. This is not the DVD commentary. I know. It's just thinking about it again makes me want to keep doing it. It's so good. Oh, it was grand. Because you've got a DVD out, Charlie. Do you have any special features on that?

Because we got so excited when we did this on the day because we thought, this could be just this massive thing because it was so much fun. And then you slowly sort of go, does anyone listen to the DVD commentary? I didn't do a commentary. It's funny, now that you mention it, I wish I'd thought of something. I reckon that's a great idea to have everyone take. Well, me and Chandler actually recorded a commentary

for your DVD if you ever want to re-release it. It's 20 minutes on that jumper you're wearing. Yeah, that's fair enough. That's a fair enough call. I've got a special feature which is I had kind of a bunch of jokes that Were from a show that didn't get into the DVD And they were book covers for possible autobiographies Yep

Oh, that's a great bit And so what I did is I filmed it as though It was footage of me pitching titles of the DVD to my agent. My agent played by Damien Callinan. Oh, great. So, but it's really like, it's so awesomely awkward, the scene, because he's just given me fucking nothing. Like nothing the whole time. It's really good.

Check it out. Cool. But on the topic, mine's called Live at the time of recording Yeah And I think yours Is a smarter name For the DVD I really like it

Like I think Complete Season 1 Is a really good name For a DVD It's good I'm probably not Going to continue it And have Complete

Second season Third season Yeah that was my question How many seasons Of Danny McGinley Before it gets cancelled And then And then the fans

Get a petition going And Netflix brings it back. Eh? Yeah. That would mean someone actually watched it to begin with. Yeah, there you go. How do you get your shit on Netflix? That's probably a good move.

Yeah, well, it's coming out here next year. Is it? Okay, hands up who's already got it. Me. Yeah, I got it. I tried to get it legally, but I'm a computer muggle. Where do you live? What's your address on there?

On my address on there, yeah, Carson, California. Oh, yeah. Number one, Times Square, New York. Wow. That's where this guy's living. Wow. Number one, Times Square, New York. Number one.

I got in early. Yeah, it's been in my family for generations. We don't want to let it go. There'll be some poor fucker from Netflix who's sent over to do it. I live in the O of the Coca-Cola sign on Times Square. I want to get on there and get one Disneyland. Orlando. Actually, that's a great...

What's the most ridiculous address you can register? Yeah, that'd be great. Lincoln's Head, Mount Rushmore. Yeah, that's a great... Number one main street USA. What's the most ridiculous address you can register? Yeah, that'd be great. Lincoln's Head, Mount Rushmore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, nice. Oh, man. I think that might bring us to the end of the Dum Dum Club for this week. Charlie Pickering, Danny McGinley, thank you very much for joining us.

It is always a pleasure. Thank you for having me. Oh, okay. Charlie, is that the subtitle on the YouTube clip no I was just sorry I was just improv-ing again

oh yeah man it's so good you didn't notice but he was saying that on a beach oh yeah it's hot thanks for having me

great podcast anyone else got sand in their crotch have you got things coming up that you'd like to plug Charlie nah I've got a thing I've got a thing.

I've got a thing starting next year, so just keep an eye out. That thing happening. What, a new calendar or just... No, that's just for listeners that are getting in early and buying their 2015 calendars. Just put a big pickering across every month. Gen 1 pickering time. Yep, we get it.

Danny, so the DVD's gonna be out There's no release date yet Within a month Yeah probably within a month Cool Where can they find out Can they order a copy From your website

Yeah that's gonna be Happening very soon as well So keep an eye on DannyMcGinlay.com Or just follow me on Twitter At DannyMcGinlay We'll put the links up On Facebook and Twitter

We'll definitely promote Because man I think it is an excellent product. Brilliant. I'm also doing gigs in Melbourne next week at Five Burrows and the Comedy Club and Melbourne Public with Mick Malloy and Limo. And then I've got a week in Adelaide and a week in Brisbane coming up in August. So denimmigginlay.com.

Also, just remember, I'm doing a fundraiser for Sacred Heart Mission in St Kilda. Don't know what fucking day. I'm terrible with my calendar, but look it up. Cool. It's a famous... He's getting a new one next year. That's this year. Yeah.

That is this year. That's this year sorted. Yeah. That's a famous gig, isn't it? That's on every year. That's a yearly sort of thing. Yeah. That's a pretty famous...

At the... Where is it? At the Princess Theatre? National Theatre? Or Palais? Palais? Palais. I think it's Palais. Maybe it Or Palais? Palais? Palais. I think it's Palais.

Maybe the Palais. Palais in Kilda. Yeah, I once saw the Strokes and Kings of Leon do a double bill there. So yeah, that's where I play. That's you. Yeah. Just play the Palais, mate. We've got our 200th episode spectacular on Saturday, August the 2nd.

I'm enjoying that you're holding the mic like Limp Bizkit at the moment by the way or like Korn or something like that. Very Limp Bizkit. Is it really? Yeah. With the cord wrapped around your knuckles like that? I wouldn't know how they hold the mic because I only listen to and see cool music. So I don't know guys.

Anyway, let's wrap about this live show that we got. It's on Saturday August the 2, upstairs at Five Burrows. Tickets are very nearly gone, so jump on that. And then pretty soon after that, we are going to be in Adelaide. It's at 7.30 that night, by the way, on the Saturday, August 2nd. Yes. I'm going to ask Danny McGinley after this

if we're allowed to play his DVD commentary after the gig to people. Yeah, if they agree to buy it okay when you say maybe we won't do that when you say after this good negotiation

like it we've got that coming up yeah August the 12th in Adelaide doing both of our solo shows and a live

Dumb Dumb Club with should we say who we're bringing over we may as well yes or no okay let's not then tickets for both of those things

at littledumbdumbclub.com. Is it Whoopi Goldberg? Yes, it is. Good guess. Oh, wow. Seven million people in the world. Seven billion. You got it right.

Yeah, we're bringing over all the cast of The View, and it's basically an audition for us to be part of The View. And do you know what's amazing? You're going to get them to watch Danny McGinley's DVD and just fucking tee off on it. Barbara Walters coming in swinging. Barbara Wawa.

Elizabeth Hasselbank doesn't say too much because she's weirdly in love with me. We should also mention the Bucks that we've been talking about. I've got a date

for when it's happening. August the 16th is when that's happening in Toowoomba. So if you're Toowoomba or Brisbane and you want to see us go do that. August the 16th? Yeah, it's earlier than I thought it was. So if you're Toowoomba or Brisbane and you want to see us go do that.

August the 16th? Yeah, it's earlier than I thought it was. That's very early. Yeah. Are we going to do that? It's pretty soon. So if we, well, let us know. If you're from Brisbane and you want to drive up and see it and you think we should come,

then yeah, get on it. I'm in Brisbane that weekend. Hmm? I'm in Brisbane that weekend. Are you really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe this is it. Oh, this is awesome.

Maybe this is happening. This is a sign. Yes. All right. And then you could come in and finally get to do a commentary on this guy's Bucks night. Oh, it's all happening. It's all coming together. August 16th, that's like three weeks away.

I know, it's like three weeks away. I know, I know. So we've got to jump on this. Yeah, send us. We've gotten a bit of feedback. Some people are keen. People are offering us lifts from Brisbane to Toowoomba, which seems like we're almost definitely going to be murdered.

Let's just say this. Are these Bucks people, are they going to pay for our flight and accommodation? Well, we'll find out. That's going to have to be next week. We can't just fly up to be at someone's Bucks night. Oh, we can, no. We can put it on as a live show and sell tickets. Anyway, guys, that is all for this week.

Thank you very much for listening, and we'll see you next time. See you, mates.