The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 200 - Live! Tommy Little, Ronny Chieng, Claire Hooper, Anne Edmonds, Harley Breen, Xavier Michelides & Oliver Clark

Episode Date: August 5, 2014

The Door Story Conclusion, A Dum Dum Superquiz and Rad Dad's Fortieth Birthday. Recorded LIVE at Five Boroughs on August 2, 2014.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey mates, thanks so much for checking out the 200th episode of The Little Dumb Dumb Club. Thanks to everyone who came down to this live show on Saturday, just gone at Five Boroughs in Melbourne. We had such a blast and to everyone who listens to the show, sends us messages on Facebook and Twitter and email and continues to share it around. We really, really appreciate it. If you're listening to this and you're in Adelaide, good news, you can come see our 201st episode live next Tuesday night, August the 12th at the Producers Bar in Adelaide. Good news, you can come see our 201st episode live next Tuesday night, August the 12th at the Producers Bar in Adelaide. Come down, we've got special guests coming over with us. We're both

doing our stand-up shows before the gig and you get all of that for one ticket price. It's going to be so much fun. Tickets can be found at littledumbdumbclub.com. We cannot wait to get to Adelaide and see you guys the first time we're coming over. So please make it worth our while. This is your last warning and we'll see you there. Enjoy the episode, mates. Hey lady Don't you remember You were my lover You were my friend

Oh Hey sister I know you remember You left me alone now you want back in. Sounds a little incestuous to me. Hello black, more like hello incest. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the live 200th episode of the Little Dum Dum Club. Are you excited?

Are you excited? 200th episode of the Little Dumb Dumb Club. Are you excited? Woo! Oh! Hey! Please make welcome your hosts, Mr. Carl Chandler and Tommy Dussalo! Oh!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Hey, mates! Welcome into the Little Dum Dum Club, live at Five Burrows for our 200th episode. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dassler and standing next to me, the other half of the show, Carl Chandler!

G'day, dickheads. Yeah. Did you like that opening? That was a nervous couple of seconds there when we went, fuck, Oliver really didn't bother learning the words for that one. So we were worried. We were very worried about it. And then we made sure of it by not doing any rehearsal whatsoever.

So that was because we used to do Studio A, the community TV show that, you know, about a third of you guys watched. And Oliver, as great a man as he is, I don't think he ever remembered anything he was supposed to do. So I don't know why we chose him to do that. But that was great. Oliver Clarke, everyone. The actual trick was, like, Oliver would read out the voiceovers at the start of the show, get everything wrong, including Dave Thornton's name,

the name of the show, the time of the show, the channel of the show, and then after our last episode, he came in and he was like, oh, I just had a test. Turns out I've needed glasses this whole time. That's something. He did a pretty good job considering he was looking at fucking nothing. But guys, thank you very much for coming down.

Give yourselves a round of applause for coming out to support the show. For selling out the show, yes. For paying good money to get something that you would get for free on Wednesday. Well done. Well done, guys. It's good that we always remind people of that at the start of the live shows. Speaking of live show traditions, is this recording? Did my mic just cut out while I was asking

if this was recording? Fuck, not this again. Is this on? This isn't on though, is it? We've already got something on the screen there that I didn't want up yet. I'm going to carry on my tradition of absolutely shitting on the tech and he's wearing one of our t-shirts so he's a fan as well. What a dumb cunt.

Just to make it even more brutal. So this is the 200th birthday 200th episode kind of birthday celebration thing. My girlfriend has made a cake or she's made two cakes for us at the end of the show. I believe Josie, a listener, has made some cupcakes as well just to make everyone want to go,

can we just wrap this up even fucking quicker so we can have desserts? Where were the other 118 of you on that one, guys? Only two of you bothered fucking baking for us, all right? But my girlfriend was making the cake today and my girlfriend loves just sort of going off recipe. Like, she just freestyles. So she was a bit worried that the cake, you know, hadn't turned out that good.

And then she sort of, you know, calmed herself over by saying, oh, well, even if the cake didn't turn out that well, it doesn't matter because, after all, your listeners are used to a very low-quality product. So... Yeah, 200 episodes, Tommy. Yes. Who would have thought that we would have fucking bothered?

Yeah. Yeah, who would have thought that we would have nothing else still going on at this point? Yeah, it's just a celebration of us still not being picked up by radio. So well done, us. Yeah. Well done. Yeah, here's to the next hopefully just two

and then we maybe get some work. That would be our dream. Yeah. If this is the last gig we ever did, that would be. If this goes so well, this is it, bro. This is the podcasting equivalent of Carson calling you over to the couch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, that reference that no one knows.

Cool. You know, that thing that you're all 100% unfamiliar with. That reference that I don't think you even know. Hey, this is a little sign that sort of, you know, dum-dum sort of creeps into the rest of my life, not just on here, what we talk about in here. So this is, I've got up here

a text message. This is me on Thursday night, because here, we're at Five Burrows tonight. This is where I sort of run a comedy night. I quite often have probably a few too many beers when I'm sort of putting it together and stuff like that so i was having this text message back and forth uh with a friend i've actually blanked out their name if you can see on the screen we've got a screen live here for people at home um i've blanked out the name because i'm actually worried they're going to take a lot of

offense to it but you can still sort of see the amount of syllable or the amount of letters in the name and i can tell you it's a friend of the show so you guys work it out. So this is me saying, I thought they were coming down for a beer. So I said, you coming? The response was, yeah, for a drink. Got grandma's funeral tomorrow. And my response was, okay, mate, we've all got stuff

going on. But Okay mate, we've all got stuff going on. But, I did say, I'm sorry I had to do it, so... Nice name blanking. Oh, the Edward Snowden of Dunkirk. It's a secret code where I've exchanged the original letters for the original letters. So I have, for people at home, I have completely given away who that was. I think I can hear whoever it is laughing

at something he's saying off at a gig at the footy club in Hillsville right now. Oh man. Oh god. Oh, okay. So we've suited up for this gig. We've done 200, dress up. I've dug my suit out of the cupboard and so far two people have said to me

oh, you're going to a funeral, are you? So it ties in with that. It's a good thing. To be fair, you do look more like a ventriloquist dummy than someone going to a... Yeah. What do you do? Well, I've made a little tribute because we've done this 200 episodes now. That's 200 weeks.

We spend... And do you want to get this ready Marcus we do this together every week you know so I've spent a lot of time with you and you know so I've spent a lot of time in your presence obviously this podcast wouldn't be there's no transparency going on here is there this is the inner workings isn't it

this podcast wouldn't be what it was without you so I've gotten friend of the show Marcus Marcus Newman, our tech, our dumb fuck tech over there, to compose a sort of a highlights package to pay tribute to you. Oh, to me? Yeah, to you and to the work that you do on this podcast. So can we hear it and really get it up there, Marcus?

Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Sitting opposite me, the other half of the program, Carl Champ. G'day dickhead. Um, but, uh, we, um, um, um, but, uh, g'day dickhead. That was really fucking shit, mate. There is blood in her shit. Yeah.

Yeah, not hemorrhoids, just blood out the arsehole. Yeah. Now, I'll bring this up. I'm a massive fat fuck. We've done this podcast for a while and we still haven't got any good guests on. I feel like I'm a little bit racist. Well, at least that got a laugh from the horny old bitch up the front. Yeah.

Oh, who knows? But fucking Chandler was on TV being a fuckhead the other day, wasn't he, everyone? Yay! And then, I just don't, it sounds dumb. You're the fucking crazy one. Yes, and? Like, no more questions. All right.

So. Yeah, it's not between two ferns, it's between two fifths of fuck all. Is it a challenge that we don't neck ourselves? Like, if we're still alive at the end of this time. Do we win? Is that it? Gay puppets. Your mum and dad. Yeah.

Are we supposed to be dancing or something? What are we... What are we for over there? Why don't you go and get fucked? You're a shithouse. Right. So I... Right.

I don't need drink or drugs. I'm just a really shit driver. Anyway. But we... But... I'm just a really shit driver. And he went, um, but, uh, we, um, um, um, but, uh. My pill just kicked in, by the way. Do you know where your dasolo is? Hey. And you suck.

Yay. Oh, that's disappointing when Dil doesn't laugh at a joke. Because you can really hear him not laugh at it. We do have a lot of international listeners. We've got a lot of American listeners here. And, you know, fuck knows why. I don't know what I'm doing. Being a fucking weirdo?

Jesus. That's just being a bit of a fuckhead. Which is a bit cold. I might whack on a jumper. It's funny you say that, Carl Chandler. Normal. But, uh, we, um, um, um. But, uh, we, um, um.

Fuck, it was great. It was really good. Yeah. The classic Chandler megamix. I think I was taken out of context. Oh, no, that's just one episode with music underneath it. All right. There's no editing.

My favourite bit, the bit that kind of, I think, kind of slid under the radar is the bit of the stitch-up. It's two bits of dialogue put together where it's you going, I feel like I might be a little bit racist. Some excellent work, Marcus. Very, very good. Why couldn't you have fucked that one up? So, about seven weeks ago on the show,

I started telling an anecdote that I was... So about seven weeks ago on the show, I started telling an anecdote that I was... I will be very surprised if you make that reaction after it. I started an anecdote about a little door in a public dunny in Collins Place. And so I thought to give this, because, I mean, it's been dragged out for a long time. I thought the 200th episode was sort of the place to wrap it up. And I thought, you know, like, to present it,

we should give it some theatre and we should give it a bit of... You know, so I've written a little play. Fuck this. I've written a little play called The Door Story that's sort of it's short it's a short play and in tonight's performance

fuck this and Rad Dad how many you know pieces of theatre can you cop tonight guys huh it's pretty sweet in this in tonight's performance

of The Door Story the role of Tommy Dasolo will be being played by Cal Chandler because there's another person in the story whose reaction is kind of very specific and I need to play that part.

So here's the script, Carl. If you can commit to this and not go off the page, that'd be really great. Hi, my name's Tommy. Oh, people didn't like that. All right. All right, so this is it. This is the start.

Yeah, this is it. I like this. The Door Story by Tommy Daslow. Grade 7B. Oh, really? I was 7B as well. Oh, really? The Door Story by Tommy Daslow.

All right, here's me. Here I am, little Tommy Daslow, host of the Little Dumb Dumb Club. Little Tommy Deslow, host of The Little Dum Dum Club, cancer survivor and... Oh, you didn't like that either. That cancer gear of yours is shit. Please, this is a serious theatrical work. Cancer survivor and best friend of Australia's king of puns, Carl Chandler.

I just want to put this on the record. I don't do puns, all right? That's not part of the script, by the way. Just freestyle on it. I've just popped into the public toilets at Collins Place and done a lovely relaxing piss out of my big old dick. Now that I've finished washing my hands, I'll just open this door, walk out of it, head home

and spend some time thinking about how much I dislike the city of Perth. Oh, what's this? An old man on the other side of the door is opening the door at the exact same time as me. Well, I've pushed the door as he's pulling the door. You know, that classic thing that happens sometimes. He looks a little stunned by this. I'd better apologise. Sorry, mate.

Oh yeah, good on ya. What an odd way for him to react. There's more. The way he said good on ya suggests to me that he seems to think I did that on purpose as some kind of bizarre prank. Gosh, people are quirky, aren't they? On the plus side, this will make for an odd little story for that part of the podcast that everyone fast forwards through. You mean Rad Dad?

I mean, it's not an incredible story by any means, but but then again it's not like I'm planning to drag it out for seven weeks or anything like that anyway it's time for me to head home and work on some great owl jokes for my next stand up comedy gig the end now I want to say that I like that I like how that's the plan it's like

fucking this story's got nothing in it. You do it. Yeah, I feel like bad acting was sort of to blame there. Bring on Bicycle Billy! Oh, yes. Bring on Bicycle Billy. You remember that thing from before? Yeah, we've said that. Someone heckling us from something from a book. Yeah. Nerd, we've said that. Someone heckling us

from something from a book. Nerd, let's get him. I like that. It's like, that shows that someone's listened to the show and takes care and has paid money to come in. And my natural reaction is, fucking shut up, cunt. Should we get into a guest? Is that what we should do?

Yeah, sure Okay Yeah? You don't seem convinced No, no, no I was just thinking Fuck Maybe I can freestyle more of that door story

But then I thought That would be suicide Yeah Nah, do me walking down the street What was I thinking? Space jump Yeah, yes and Right

Mate, let me out of the dunny I've finished me piss Yeah, yes and. Right. Mate, let me out of the dunny. I've finished me piss. Oh, have you finished your piss? Well, I'm just getting started with my piss. Why are you pissing on the outside of the door? Yes and. Exactly. That's up to door. Yes, and? Exactly.

That's up to you. Oh, I'm the idiot in this story. Alright. I got it wrong. How do you feel about bringing on a guest on now? Can we do it a minute ago? Alright guys, let's bring on our first guest. You know him from Problems, Have You Been Paying Attention,

all sorts of things on the telly. The gala from Selling Out, the town hall at the Comedy Festival this year. Please welcome back into the Little Dumb Dumb Club, Ronnie Chang! Yay! Yay! It'll be there. Hey everybody. What up bro What up bro

Someone's yelling your catchphrase back at you That's cool man Is that what you always dream? You worked in law can you sue that guy? I've got a secondary catchphrase

well I can't help that's got something to do with me I've got a catchphrase it's please don't run in front of our fucking stage when we're doing a show No that's got something to do with me. I've got a catchphrase. It's please don't run in front of our fucking stage when we're doing a show.

No, that's okay. Yeah, someone just... I'd like to say walked out, but someone ran out. Could not have been quicker. No, but you can't judge. They may have emergencies you're not aware of. You cannot judge them. There might be something important

and you cannot judge them because of that. Because there might have been a good reason for that. You're right. I shouldn't mention a woman running in front of me to get out of my show i should ignore that my second catchphrase is good lord yeah that that one good lord that one hasn't caught on as well not not yet i'm pushing i'm still pushing it yeah you say it's a catchphrase the only times i've heard you say it uh when you're saying this is my second catchphrase yes and the first time i forgot it's a catchphrase. The only times I've heard you say it are when you're saying, this is my second catchphrase. Yes, and the first time I forgot it was my catchphrase. I was like, what was my catchphrase again?

I spent like one night trying to remember. But you know what catch is short for? Catchy. And if you forget what your catchphrase is, I don't know if it's catchphrase. I beg to differ. I think good lord is a very catchy phrase. Good lord.

It's a bit of religious implications in there, I agree, but other than that, you know. Hey, congratulations on both of you on your 200th episode. On both of us? Yeah. Why don't you come in the spotlight a little bit. Appreciate it, Ronnie.

Who would have thought that, why are you buttoning the second button on your suit? You're supposed to leave that unbuttoned. Oh, really? Yeah, that is wrong. Also, why are you wearing sneakers like that? It doesn't go with that. You know what know what also why do you have two pockets on your jacket well no that's unfair i didn't make the jacket yeah but why did you buy his ones are

fair because he's fucked up the suit mine is why do you have ocd good job no i just like to look correct that's all what's the two what's the two pockets thing yeah two pockets have you got changed since you came in here? What do you mean? Did you change your clothes? No, I took off my jacket. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Blood cancer's getting changed, I think. Don't let it never be said that we don't ask the hard questions. Frost Nixon over here. Jesus. Parko's back. How unfortunate would it be to have your name named after a disease like that? What would be wrong with you if you had Ronny Chieng disease? Yeah, it would be...

I don't know, man. What would it be? It would be something you wouldn't think of. It wouldn't be like... Well, think of it. No, because you're saying, you're implying that Ronny Chieng disease would be becoming like me, but it wouldn't be. It would be something else.

A characteristic of Ronny Chieng disease would be like becoming like me, but it wouldn't be. It would be something else. A characteristic of Ronny Chieng. No, no, it would be like, you know, having a testicle popping out or something. It would be something. Classic Chieng. Yeah. Or it's like he's the first person to get something. You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, right. He's the first person to have it, so it gets named after him. Ronny Chieng disease. Any mysterious illnesses that we could maybe. If someone started coming out with catchphrases that didn't catch on, that would be Ronnie Chang does it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, catchphrase I don't catch on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What up, bro?

Man, people yell what... I don't even say what up, bro as much as people say what up, bro to me. Yeah, right. That's perfect. So that's a catchphrase. Yeah, there you go. Has anyone ever said good lord to you?

No, not yet. But I like what up, bro. It's nice and neutral, right? What what up bro. It's nice and neutral. What up bro? It's not really neutral because you can't say it to girls. Yeah, girls can be bros. I don't think they can. Chandler.

You can be sensitive if you want about anything. That's not being sensitive, bro. You're short for brother. Yeah, I know, but sisters can be brothers like you know like would you be offended is she a reviewer would you be offended oh she is a reviewer oh yes yeah yeah hi how you doing would you be offended if I said hey what up bro hey bro shaking your hand bro would you be offended if I said that no there you up, bro? Hey, bro. Shaking your hand. Bro, would you be offended if I said that? No, there you go.

Yeah, but that's only because she doesn't want some Asian firepower at her right now, so. What do you mean? I went from sexist to racist really quickly. Did you say Asian firepower? Yeah. Is that my nickname now?

No, that's my catchphrase. Asian firepower. Oh, that's my catchphrase. Ancient Firepower. Oh, holy shit. So, yeah, congratulations on 200 episodes. Who would have thought when you started episode one, do you think that 200 episodes later you'd be here? Who did? I know that's a nice question, but it sounded like a threat.

It's not. I'm just having some tonal issues today. So everything comes out sounding like mean or sarcastic, but I'm not. I think you've had that for about 24 months. Has anyone been listening from... Answer the goddamn question. Okay, what?

What do you... When you first started the first episode, did you feel like, wow, it would evolve 200 episodes later? You've outpaced the UFC. Is that a real thing? What, what? UFC is up to like 175 right now you guys are up to 200. Oh really? Yeah yeah that's comparable. Does that just mean that just means we started before them doesn't it? No no you've started after them and then you've cut. Don't

worry about it but what I want to know. What a bizarre scale to measure us against. I mean Anne was talking about this before. It's like saying there's been more episodes of this than Indiana Jones movies. It doesn't fucking mean anything. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Good Lord. Good Lord. Oh, it is good.

It's really good. Oh, when it works, it feels great. Man, I get it now. Yeah, I just need to buy a T-shirt now. Oh, you need to buy a T-shirt with Good Lord on it? Yeah. Yeah, that's a good idea. That's a t-shirt. Oh, you need to buy a t-shirt? With good Lord on it? Yeah. Yeah, that's a good idea. That's a good Lord idea.

Oh, I might be sued by Lord, actually. What? Lord, Lord. The New Zealand singer, Lord. Is that how you pronounce it? Or Lordy? How do you pronounce it? Is it Lord?

Is it Lord? It's Lord. Yeah, yeah. You don't want to be sued by Lord. Yeah, I know, but it sounds the same. There's a very chatty crowd tonight. Yeah, you don't want to be sued by Lord. Yeah, I know, but it sounds the same. There's a very chatty crowd tonight. All the people who will not let errors go past unnoticed. They'd be a lot more silent if we got things right.

So, fair enough. Did you think 200 episodes later you would have a crowd? Yeah. Yeah. Because I always do my podcast and I'm like, no one's listening. You don't always do your podcast. Yeah, I don't. I don't always do it. I'm like, I just do it. I'm like, no one's listening to this. You don't always do your podcast. Yeah, I don't. I don't always do it.

I'm like, I just do it. I'm like, no one's listening to this. I just get angry and slam it on the ground and then I never do it. But that's the sign

about your podcast where, you know, you are massive. You're a big name. You say so many things but when it comes to your podcast people go, no thanks.

Yeah, I think, yeah, I don't know why. I don't know why. Maybe I need a partner. I need to put on a suit. I don't know why I need to. Yeah, yeah, you need to put on a suit. How did you guys succeed?

You guys succeeded so hard in this, like, people coming down and paying money. Like, what? Why you guys... Me and Anne are like, why are people here? Like, why? Cool, thanks. It's cold.

I mean, I mean that in a good way. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, why are people just... Yeah, but to be fair, this looks like your standby list at your normal comedy festival show. That's correct.

Can I ask this quickly? Did someone just boo me? Yeah, did someone boo? Were they booing me or him? Both. Just booing in general. No, no. When I said why a... Oh, the Simpsons.

There's a Simpsons reference going in here. Let's find out who that is and fucking kill them. We now owe Matt Groening a million dollars, so thanks for that. I have lived in five countries. All right, mate, we've all got something. How many grandma's funerals have you been to? I speak three languages. I have two degrees from a very good university.

This better have a good ending. What was that reference? What? Boo words. What's boomers? The Simpsons. I know the Simpsons. I don't know what that reference is.

Then I don't think you know the Simpsons. Alright, fine. No, but don't boo. I didn't mean like why are you people here? I meant like why are people here?

Something good must be happening. That's what I meant. Don't boo. Fuck. It was a good thing. Yeah. Good lord. Don't boo. Fuck. It was a good thing. Good lord. Can't compliment a bunch of sensitive...

Finish the sentence. Can I ask? We're going to call people some sensitive fucks. I'm dressed by Uniqlo today. Really? Yeah. Have you got a deal going? Have you ever had a clothing deal? Oh, not yet. You're working on it. You're working on it.

Are you really working on it? Well, like, I emailed them. Like, that's what I... That's about, yeah. Say, can I have stuff for free? Yeah, like, basically, so here's what happens. You see other people on TV and they're always dressed... Joe Creasy's dressed like Jack London.

Really? For free? Yeah, for free. And I'm like, oh, that's really cool. Look, I'm not trying to brag here, but I'm on TV a lot. Why the fuck is no one giving me clothes? Boo!

Oh my God. Good clothes. Yeah, anyway. Anyway, I'm just saying, I'm dressed by Uniqlo today Good clothes. Yeah, anyway. Anyway, I'm just saying, I'm dressed by Uniqlo today. I dress myself in Uniqlo. That's what I am. But you've got it the wrong way around. I mean, you're sponsored by a beer.

Yes. And you don't drink. So you should have held out for something that you actually use. No, no, that's incorrect. I do drink. I don't always drink. But when I do... I drink Singtao.

And do you have any advice on drinking Singtao? Any advice? The fuck? Go buy one and put one in your mouth. What advice do you need? No. No. in your mouth what what what advice do you need no put one in your mouth and swallow that's the advice should i should i drink a lot of it or how should i drink oh okay yeah always drink responsibly okay oh thanks for that sorry put it in your mouth and swallow it responsibly

yeah yeah yeah are you are you trying to get sponsorship from sexpo as well Put it in your mouth and swallow it responsibly. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Are you trying to get sponsorship from Sexpo as well? Yeah, actually, that's... All right, let's get another guest out. All right, cool. Ronnie Chang, everyone. All righty.

You're going to move down one seat. Yeah. Our second guest tonight, she's never been on one of our live episodes. You know her from Good News Week. Please put your hands together and welcome to the stage, Claire Hooper! Yeah! Oh, Claire's brought someone back. It's okay.

I'm sure she had a good reason. You have a good reason? See, I had a festival show with a few walkouts, but you are sucking people into the venue. That's good. That's good. I'm pretty sure... No, don't be scared.

What's she saying? Don't be scared. I understood why you left. Someone just squealed. What did she say? She said I was be scared. What's she saying? Don't be scared. I understood why you left. Someone just squealed. What did she say? She said I was so scared. Watch out for that Asian firepower. Oh, boy.

Sorry, what were you about to say? I'm sure I've done one of these before. Not a live one. Yeah, five boroughs with chairs in a row. Surely. That was lunch. Okay, all right. I'll take your word for it. Anyway, I'm only here because Carl wants to hate fuck my husband.

Alright, our third guest. What a busy sentence. I feel like we can spend the next hour going through that word by word. Let's unpack that. Am I allowed to talk in this section? Absolutely not. No, please. If you have any questions about hatefuck, please.

This is the time for them. No, I want to be sponsored by hatefuck. No, I was just asking if I could talk. I don't have anything to say, but I just want to make sure. You really missed out because before we came on, Ronnie was like, so I could talk. I don't have anything to say, but I just want to make sure. You know, you really missed out because before we came on, Ronnie was like, so I'm thinking of telling this story about seeing a young girl do a wee in the middle of the streets in front of a Starbucks.

Wow, that is... And so I'd been at the door going like, when's the little girl doing a wee in front of a Starbucks story? And then you just brought me on and you didn't get it. Yeah, because it's not an appropriate story. Is that the full story? Is there more? No, it happened

in Beijing, China. It wasn't like I sought it out and it just happened. Yeah. That's completely out of context. I didn't even want

to talk about it. Yeah. Yeah, because you asked, you told me that story and then you said, is this recorded? Yeah. And I said, definitely.

And then I was like, I'm not telling that story. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think that'll get back to Uniqlo? All right, I better give it some context now since it's out in the... Can we edit that whole part out, actually?

No. Okay, never mind. You've seen the guy doing tech. Do you think he's capable of that? Hey, you're giving him shit. Dude, he's the guy who made that thing that Tommy introduced and took credit for. Oh, the thing that hangs shit on me. Oh, I should show more respect.

You're right. Good point. And also I like that when you said can we edit this out, you motioned over at Marcus behind the desk. He's not there with a reel to reel and some fucking scissors doing the editing now. Yeah, he's not going to start showing some dailies right now. Right.

That should have got more. Dailies is a good reference. I don't want to take up Claire's time either. I just want to shut up and let her talk. Yeah, you're doing a great job. Hey, Claire, let me ask you about this. Because this is something I said. Wait, wait, wait. Hang on.

It happened in China. It didn't happen around the corner from my house. It happened in China. I just have to make that clear. And anyway, in China, kids pee on the street. That's what happens. Okay? And then I was drinking Starbucks.

I was at Starbucks. I was looking at Starbucks. And then this girl entered the street. That's what happens, okay? And then I just was drinking Starbucks. I was at Starbucks. I was looking at Starbucks, and then this girl entered the thing, and then she started peeing, and I didn't want to see it, and I looked away, and it happened, all right? But everyone gets so weird about it. Every time I told you, I told everyone.

All right, we've had another walkout. Yeah. All right. I told everyone outside, and everyone was like, oh, you probably don't mention it's a girl. Don't talk about that. And I'm like, okay, fine.

I won't talk about it. Whatever. It just happened. I didn't look for it. It happened in front of me. What am I supposed to do? When someone's peeing in front of you, what are you supposed to do?

You're supposed to talk about it on a podcast. So you've done that. That's all that happened. All right? So. I wish, I wanted to ask you, I want to talk to Claire, but I want to talk to you later about your...

Someone is very subtly walking out. Anyway, we'll talk about your anger management later. Claire. Yeah. With Ronnie's blessing, I'd like to ask you a question. I'd like to ask you a question.

I'd like to bring something up to you. Okay. It's gotten really serious. I saw this on Twitter the other day. Is this true? In a couple of weeks' time on TV, we are going to be able to see you having sex with Greg Fleet. Oh, yeah. Well, I mean... Well, you obviously weren't playing a prostitute

because he would have been asking you for 20 bucks, so... Five people have given money to Greg Fleet over the years. It was a smattering, but everyone was placed sort of perfectly throughout the crowd, so it was like a surround smattering. On average, that joke went well. But is this a true... do you have a sex scene with him in the show? Yeah, I mean, it's not

real sex, we pretended. Oh, is that what acting is? Alright. But it's really, it's actually really full on. I mean, I've known him for years. He was my favourite comedian before I'd even considered being a comedian. You know, back in Perth I went and saw him and I was like,

oh, my God, this is amazing. So it's like it's kind of special but it's also not special. It's also really awkward and weird. But what's funny is that I signed up for the role when it was just kissing him at a bar and then we filmed that scene and then he was like, hey, guess what? I wrote some more. Yeah.

And now it goes in. Yeah. I'm getting some laughter from behind me. That's a pretty good joke. So not to give too much away, but is he like, how full on are we talking? I haven't seen it, so I don't know. Yeah, but you were in it, so you know, don't you?

We haven't said, the show is Die On Your Feet, which is a show that he filmed, it was like four or five years ago now. Yeah, he wrote it and filmed it. Yeah, I reckon it was four years ago. I'm not even sure. I've lost track and then it's just been sitting in a vault. Yeah, I mean, you've had a kid since. Yeah. Is it Fleety's Baby?

Because it would have been pretty happy being in that hospital, I reckon, with all that drugs around. So, oh, hey, I reckon, with all that drugs around. Hey, I've given so much money to that man, I'm allowed to do all of that. Why don't you just go and hate fuck Fleety? I'd like... No, I wouldn't. The child is not Fleety's. Okay, that's the definitive answer to that question. Good. Yeah. Yeah, look, I don't think you say much.

I definitely, I'm sure that I got my tits out, but I don't remember because it was four years ago and I haven't seen it. And also, if I did, I'm sure it was fleeting. Oh, that's appropriate. But I do remember my boob skin touching his chest skin. That's like a really... You know, it's like that...

You can't un-remember it. You know what I mean? It's like a sensation that you... Yeah, it's like watching people pee. You know when you taste something for the first time? It's like unwillingly watching someone pee. You just can't get it out of your head, yeah. Yeah.

I reckon it. Can I ask you a question about this? Because from an acting point of view, I am curious. Because I had to do a scene where I had to kiss someone. Oh, what in? Yeah. I can't talk about it right now, but it's a date season two. I thought it was like

a hot and heavy Sing Tao ad that would have been good no no no it was it's a television comedy series and I had to kiss someone

and it was fine who did you kiss? that is an amazing story Emily Emily Tahini oh Fiona Lachlan's sister yeah could be worse

she's pretty hot yeah she's no but that's not the point. That's... It was just like I've never... I'm not a trained actor to kiss someone. It was fine,

but I just... I couldn't... I don't know how I would get into the zone to have stimulated sex scenes with somebody. You know what I mean? What?

That's the name. No, it's simulated, not stimulated. Oh, yeah. Simulate, yeah. Simulate, sorry. Sorry. The stimulated. Oh, yeah. Simulate, yeah. Simulate, sorry. The stimulated bit goes without saying. Yeah, stimulated means you need an erection for this scene.

So I watched this on Oprah, and apparently... Oh, yeah. So simulated sex scene means you pretend to have sex and you're not actually having sex. Yes. You had to watch Oprah to learn that? Yeah, look. Look, my life is very complicated,

but just know that's where the information came from. Let's not explore it. Did she give out free erections under the chairs? No. Yeah, so I don't like that. I wouldn't know how to deal with that. No, look. Yeah, how do you prepare yourself to kiss Fleety?

Look. Well, first of all, are you uncomfortable talking about this? Because if you are, we don't have to talk about this. Don't fuck our show up. Do it. No, I'm fine. No, I'm fine talking about it. Women in comedy.

What? You were doing so well. Until the pee story came out and now I'm all off my game now because we are talking about... Anyway, sorry, go on. So, you know, I just... This fucking guy.

He keeps doing that. That's the third time. It's just one guy rolling his bottle back and forth. Is someone bowling back there? What the fuck's going on? We are hosting this podcast at Strike Bowling Bar, so... It's not a bad idea. That probably explains my shoes, but yeah.

Sorry. You were having sex with Fleety. You know, it's really... It's actually really similar. It's actually really similar labour in that it's one of those things that you haven't done, but heaps of people have done it. And even though it sounds scary, you're like, heaps of people have done it.

How bad can it be? Are you talking about heroin? And then when you're... And then when you're in the middle of it, you're like fuck this is awful it was but no but also the thing is it was for him as well so so any nerves i had because i was a little bit like should i be feeling nervous and scared yet and then you turn up and then there's this awkwardness of them being like we've got to put we've got to put some fake tan all over your entire body. So I'm just sort of standing there in the cold having this make-up lady

rub my upper thighs and I'm like, well, this is a good warm-up. But really, so I had some nerves but before I could get properly nervous, Fleety turned up and what had happened was he'd had this great idea that he'd write a sex scene and then he'd be like, hey, guess what, I wrote a sex scene and he said that it wasn, hey, guess what, I wrote a sex scene. And he said that it wasn't until that morning that it occurred to him that he had to do it too. So he turned up and he was quite...

It's nice that you believe that but keep going. No, he was, yeah, he was, so it was just, it was excellent. Like I nearly got nervous and then he turned up and was terrified and it made it okay for me. You know, I was like, I am the least scared person here and somehow that made it heaps of fun. Yep. But also horrific.

That's a cool thing as an actor too because it's like not a thing that every person who does acting does. You know, like kissing someone on film is like a rare thing and then there's like doing a sex scene. So you know what I mean? You get to be like in that exclusive club of actors who get to go, yeah, done it on film. You know what like kissing someone on film is like a rare thing and then there's like doing a sex scene. So you know what I mean? You get to be like in that exclusive club of actors who get to go, yeah, done it on film. Yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean? Oh, I've done it. Yeah, I've done it on film. Oh, sort of before. I've done this. Oh. Oh. Was this on Good News Week?

Yeah. Nah, like way back in the day, this artsy weird thing where I'm in underwear tied up on a bed and it's just all this. And I just trusted the guy. I was like, well, you say you're a filmmaker and it's on YouTube. And in the comment section under it, it's like, that's not her, it's me. It's totally me. Is anyone YouTubing that now?

Yes I don't know what you search for I can't remember what it's called or anything Are you in the... Claire Hooper fucking but not fleety Minus fleety No look it's not But it's not

It's not What's that? It's five matches Five matches? Is that what you said? How drunk are you? What does that? There's five matches. Five matches? Is that what you said? Yeah. How drunk are you? What does that mean?

I was always searching for it. Oh, yeah. There's five matches. Oh, you've got your phone out. There's five matches on there. Oh, right. I see. Well, Claire Hooper rooting.

There's five matches to that. All right. Okay. Should we get our next guest on? Yeah, let's get our next guest on. Claire Hooper, everyone. Can you guys move down one seat? Our next guest this evening,

you know him from Nova Breakfast. Please welcome into the Little Dumb Dumb Club, Tommy Little. Tommy Little. Gentlemen, hello. Here he is. How's it going? Good?

Good? Yes. Thanks for bringing me on at the one hour mark where the audience are really pumped to still be here. Yeah. Hey, there's two to go. No one's itching for a drink or a piss or anything else. Why don't you take off your jacket?

Why don't you wear some young people pants? Why don't you wear some young people pants? What are you talking about? Why don't you wear a watch that's not for a 14-year-old surfer? Is that a baby G? If we're going to start this, we can do this. This watch is standard issue Navy SEALs. This isn't a 14-year-old surfer watch.

Why don't you wear a polo T-shirt that's for an adult and doesn't have baby squirrels on it? Hey, that's standard Navy SEAL issue. All the clothing Tommy just described is from Uniqlo. So if you enjoy any of those looks, please look at Uniqlo.com. And I don't want to call someone frugal, but usually if you want a clothing sponsorship, you don't go to a budget retailer. Yeah.

Like, who was your first choice? Kmart? No, but Uniqlo. What do you mean? Hey, don't bag someone for getting money from Kmart on a podcast that goes out for nothing, because we're below that on the food chain. Who's the guy, who's the tennis player

who's really good? Out, the Aussie one? No, the other guy. Oh, the... Nadal? Novak is sponsored by Uniqlo. Yeah, but I think he gets more than just food. I'd like to think that Novak's doing it for a plain tea.

I don't think he's... I think he might be getting cash. He's's going on a podcast junket to market it. Can I just say, if Ronnie gets sponsorship from Uniqlo by just talking about it on our podcast, when we can't get any kind of sponsorship for food, we're talking about, I will fucking kill myself. I actually will. That'll be the thing that pushes me over the edge.

That might make Uniqlo give him sponsorship. Big fans down at Uniqlo. Finally. Yeah, we've just seen what happened at the Westgate and Ronnie, we've got a contract ready for you. Oh, can I read this little quick thing out? Can we get sponsored by the Westgate? Is that a way? Sure. Is that a thing? Try. Why not go to

Williamstown? There's an ad right there. Sure. Is that a thing? Try. Why not go to Williamstown? There you go. There's a head right there. I would love if you were the face of Williamstown. A giant Luna Park style Chandler mouth that you just drive through. That would be excellent. That's good. Which direction is Williamstown?

Where? What do you mean? We can cover this after the show. Okay, cool. Wait, we'll do this. Everyone, if you're listening to this at home, turn around and face north so that this is accurate. Now which way is it?

What? What? Because people listening this... Yeah, we're having a definitive direction. Yeah. But we're in the city. No, no, but I'm saying... It doesn't matter which way you're facing.

No, no, but I'm saying people listening to the recording of this. Do you know what I mean? People listening to this podcast... If you're facing north but you're north of Williamstown, that still doesn't mean... no, but I'm saying... It doesn't matter which way you're facing. No, no, but I'm saying people listen to the recording of this. Do you know what I mean? People listen to this podcast. If you're facing north but you're north of Williamstown, that still doesn't mean... Yeah, but we can... Suck shit for paying

19 bucks to get in, by the way, guys. But you get the direction that something is from you. It doesn't matter which way you're facing. But if you're facing north... Oh, yeah, we've got to get

a photo of this conversation. Sweet. Like, Williamstown is still west of us even if I'm facing that way. Oh, I get... Yeah, okay, I get you. Like, it's still west of us even if I'm facing that way. Oh, I get you. It's still west of us. I take it back.

Everyone listening. Okay. You're getting left and right confused with never eat soggy Weet-Bix. That's those dancing around a compass thinking that's doing something. Okay, I'll tell you a new plan.

Everyone who's listening to this podcast on their iPod, every one of you go to Flinders Street Station right now. That's better, isn't it? Because then we can direct them from there. Fuck! Hey, can we talk about something that came up earlier? I might be the only one. I've got a little bit of a problem with your story earlier about the door.

Yes. Oh, you've got a problem. Hard to believe how there could be any problems with it, but... So in the first Pirates of the Caribbean, right, there was a moment where one of the dudes, when he was getting away, went to slide down a rope, and what he did, he had a T-shirt in his hand and he put it over the rope and slid down. Now, I couldn't stop thinking about the rest of the movie

because that's impossible because he didn't let go of it. He just put it over the rope and slid down. I'm like, that's fucking impossible. And I thought about it for the whole movie. And a little bit of information in your story has annoyed me for your whole show. Let's call it a story. Well, it's not a factual event. Because there's an inaccuracy.

That is, you said that you opened the cubicle door, as he was pulling... No, I'm not in the cubicle. Where the fuck were you? I've washed my hands. Didn't you hear the fucking... No, you just had a piss. I can remember it.

You had a piss at your big old dick. Yeah. Very glad that came up again. And to me, that was the inaccuracy. Because I've thought for years, I have thought for years that Dassault is packing a fucking thumper. Right? I have. I've even asked him to see it.

He's always said no. So that wasn't the inaccuracy. You said you had a piss at your big old dick. You turned around. You pushed on the cubicle door as he pulled. You pushed as he pulled. Cubicle doors open inwards. No, but I'm not... Oh, fuck, it's happening again.

Yeah, yeah, it's all... Hello? Hello? What? Switch this off. No, it's on. No, it's on. See, when you lie, it doesn't like it. Hello? Hello? Is that actually... It's working. Is it? It's working. It's working. We're just not being funny. So they've gone real quiet.

It's like speed. If you go below a joke per minute, it switches off. Fuck, to think that we even got moving. More impressive than not. No, I'm not. So in the story, I wasn't. I've washed my hands. I was leaving the whole toilet facility.

So you're trying to say you're not a liar, just a shit storyteller? Yes. Okay. I'd rather that than the other. So I put my big old dickies back in my pants. I'm washing my hands. I heard the washing. I heard you washed them thoroughly in the story.

Thank you. Yes. Yeah, I assumed in the toilet. Why can't you... Why can't you? Why can't you? The big old dick. Why can't you put a T-shirt over a rope and slide down? Didn't let go of it.

Had it held in his hands and went like this and then held. So it was in both hands, one hand on each end of the T-shirt. Didn't let go of it. Oh, that's stupid. Yeah, that's stupid. Which part is of the Caribbean? The first one. Okay.

But like this i'm probably just wrong also a t-shirt i couldn't i guess the technical word is a rag but why but but why are you still wearing your jacket like right now you know what because you work? Because you work out. No. You work out. What? You work out. That's not why I'm wearing the jacket.

I know. Just take off your jacket. No, because now I can't because I feel like as soon as I do, the whole audience will go, pussy. Okay, okay. So this is an ego thing. All right. Yeah.

All right, fine. Can we get the heat turned up in here a little bit just to really push you to the limit? Do you want to crack on? Do we have a little... Do you want to do our little... The people that... The guests that couldn't make it here tonight.

Oh, yeah. Some of our favourite friends. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Toilet doors still open inwards. Fucking there's never a toilet door that opens...

You can't... You never go into the toilets and pull. It's always push. Are you saying this great story couldn't have happened to Tommy? That he's just elaborating to get a cracking tail? I'm actually saying you made it up. Why would you make up something?

He was going in. That makes sense. No, you said you pushed. You can't leave a toilet by pushing. It's pull. I was so overwhelmed by this, guys. Guys, let's take it down a notch. Sorry, I'm getting

fucking hot, so I'm trying to make it over quick. People at Uniqlo are turning off for the moment. Hey, look, Tommy, maybe I'm wrong, maybe you're wrong, but I think we can both agree to disagree. Uniqlo, a place for friends. No, no, no. You're definitely wrong.

You're definitely wrong. That's for sure. Yeah. Yeah. That's settled. You know what? When I first heard that door story, I thought, too good to be true. Should we?

Yeah, let's quickly play this. We've got a few. Ego. What? Oh, we're still at Ronnie. Ego. Is what is preventing you from admitting you're wrong. It's also what's preventing you from taking off your jacket. Yeah. I'm trying to, not like, I admit that I may have gotten the push and pull order wrong. That's all. Alright, hang on.

Oh, shit. Hang on. We've had another spoiler alert. We've got... Anyway, we've got some friends of the show that are overseas, that are away, that couldn't be here tonight, so we've got some messages on our 200th episode from some of our favourite friends of the show. We'd better narrate.

I don't think some of these people say who they are. So first up we've got a little fellow. Hey, can I just say as well, he was given that jacket. That's actually a sponsorship. Oh, really? Kelly Hanson, yeah, because he's in Glasgow. And he's in Glasgow, and before we play the video... If you keep working hard,

that could be you. Is that a really nice hotel room that he's in? It looks pretty. For people at home, we've got Luke McGregor up on the screen, so we're going to play some video telegrams. Rowan. Hi, guys. Sorry I couldn't be there for the 200th episode.

I'm in Glasgow for the Commonwealth Games. Got a massive lanyard. But I just want to say, I hope it's a great night or day whenever you're recording. And I love all of you. I love you all. Except Carl. Carl can eat shit.

That's Luke McGregor. What I like about that is he's clearly got someone professional with him to film it, because it looks really good, but someone not professional enough to cut himself out saying, OK, we're rolling. We're rolling. Cecil B. DeMille filmed it for him.

Again, wasted on you people. Is that a reference? I just spent three weeks touring with Luke McGregor. We've all got stuff going on. Except for your microphone. I got Deso's shit microphone now. Anyway, he's a cool guy.

Are you being sponsored by Luke McGregor now? Hang on, Tommy. How come you'll pull apart my push-pull door thing but you won't pull apart Luke McGregor now? Hang on, Tommy, how come you'll pull apart my push-pull door thing but you won't pull apart Luke McGregor's a cool guy? He's a very nice guy. Oh, there you go. Yeah. All right.

Luke's killing it at the moment. Yeah. I was chatting with Edo before and he was telling Edo, hey, you've got to get on Tinder, you've got to get out there more. And we were laughing about who would have thought fucking two years ago that Luke McGregor would be telling someone else hey, you've got to get out there more.

Fucking hell, McGregor does this great thing on Tinder where he just puts it face down and just does a run with his hands. Just swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe. It's great. Some of you laughed and the rest of you went, that's mean. No, no, no. No, Tommy, but we were all just thinking face down.

Uh-oh. Yeah, because he's not desperate. Desperate people do it face up and they're swiping. They're actually swiping. He's just warming up his fingers, getting ready to flip it over and really go. Really fucking go. He totally talked his way out of that.

Not at all. That was shit. Shall we go to the next telegram, perhaps? Here we go. Well, we were on it until we fucked it up. Good Lord. Here we go. Your desktop is... Oh, no. Dave O'Ne fucked up. Good lord. Here we go. Your desktop isn't...

Oh, no. This is almighty. Dave O'Neill. Dave O'Neill. Must be hard to find that play button. Hey, mates. Hey, poofs. It's Dave O'Neill here.

I'm in Coffs Harbour. Happy... How many shows is it? I can't remember. 200? Good on you, Timmy and Colin. Well done.

That's a fucking weird bloke. Do you want me to say something? Well done, guys. Don't talk to him. It's not with Dave. I love him. I'm like a parole officer.

That's my subject. Seriously. It's me. Fucking Clever Robins. That's my subject. Seriously. It's me. Fucking Clever Womans. He's got food coming. No. You want the food? No.

Another video that probably should have featured some editing. Did that feel like something you saw on 7.30 right before the murder happened? Are they in prison? Where are they? Why is Dave O'Neill dragging Glenn Robbins down to his level? Doing gigs out in bumfuck nowhere. Was the third person or friend? That was someone that worked for the hotel.

Yeah. So they couldn't be here. They're on a little comedy tour at the moment. They put a photo up on Twitter before. That was so condescending. No, no, but their accommodation for tonight... Glenn Robbins is on a little comedy tour. God. God forbid. he couldn't be here.

In the pinnacle of showbiz because he's on a little comedy tour. Fucking hell. He's probably in his little Brighton mansion right now. No, but my point is... More episodes than people in your crowd and he's on a little comedy tour. They put a photo of their accommodation for tonight and they're sharing a bunk bed together. Him and Dave O'Neill are in a fucking bunk bed.

Really? Yes. Oh, man. Yeah, they're down to earth. What do you want? Down to earth guys. Keeping it real. That's not real.

That's shit. Sometimes real is shit. Sometimes real is shit. And also the resolution on the video is unacceptable. If we go to the next one, we've got another one. Oh, here we go. Damn Nokia.

Hello, Dumb Dumb. Joshua here. Congratulations on 200 episodes. It's a pretty good achievement. I mean, I have had two kids in that time, so... Anyway, a podcast is good too. I don't even know why I'm sending this, because I'm actually just in the bar, just behind the curtain there, so... I don't know. Hurry it up so I can actually have a proper conversation with you. Anyway, congratulations, 200.

That's quite an achievement. So two things about that. Number one, you can hear his kid crying in the background, which I like. And he's now sick so he couldn't make it here tonight. So that is factually incorrect, Ronnie. How do you feel? I feel good.

Joshua's a good guy. He's a very good guy. In fact, there's nobody on this stage who I would let anybody say anything bad about other than you and Tommy, yeah. You would let someone say something bad about me? Yes. Why? Why are you squatting in front of the audience right now?

Are you about to reenact that Chinese girl from out the front of Starbucks? I'm trying to get better reception out of this shitty mic. Why did you end up with a good mic? I've got the shit on there. Hey, you take this fucking mic, alright? Goddamn. Okay, the lead doesn't make it over here. There's chances, please, as you it over here What's the best place

As you sit over here Oh shit Alright Uh oh Oh wow Are you now the host Yeah Welcome to the

Oh This microphone is bad Yeah Did you just think Did you just think He was fucking it up No no I didn't Yeah I just kept

Stop I just stopped talking That was the mistake I was doing No but that's why I gave you a mic because it's your show. All right, let's go to the next guest. Let's go to the next. Next Halloween Ram.

I can stop doing that. What the fuck? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh This is the next six hours. Very good. All right, next one. Carl. Carl. Tommy, how many times have I told you guys, don't do the Dum Dum Club live. It's good as a podcast, it works as a podcast, but live people can see what you look like.

Carl, you've got that big ugly dildo chin, you look like you're malformed, you look like you're from country Victoria, mate. Oh sorry, you are. And Tommy, you look like you hardly recovered from that disease you had. Come on, keep it as a podcast. If people see what you look like, they'll just run a mile. Now leave me the fuck alone. I don't know if it says more about me or Mooney that he's had a crack about me having cancer and I've thought, oh fuck, I've gotten off lightly there.

I think we've got... Yeah, we've got one more. G'day, dickheads. Happy anniversary from LA. I haven't put much thought into this because seeing it's something that we've recorded, it probably won't go to air anyway. But 200 episodes, that's pretty amazing. Carl, it's good to see you can actually

make an official commitment to something. Maybe you can take that into your private life. And I guess happy birthday. Is it a birthday? Do you get a cake? Don't do wishes. Well, if you do do wishes, don't let Tommy do the wishes.

We know how good he is at wasting wishes. Anyway, 200 episodes of the podcast. I guess that's something to be proud of. How did you get that? Will Anderson. Will Anderson. The bloke with the most money sent us the poorest quality video

What did he record that on? Also you should always record video on horizontal orientations because that's not official It seemed like a really glorified Nick Nominate video to be honest Let's welcome on, hey, one of our very favourite friends of the show, he's never done a live episode

He's going to do one right now, Harley Bree! Oh, yeah! Do you know, Ronnie, I bought exactly the same shirt for my four-year-old son at Uniqlo, where you bought it from on the same day. That's the truth. I've got two microphones. This has worked out well.

Oh, now we're down. Fuck, I feel very loved in the comedy industry. All my mates just went, he's here, fuck off. Well, what we're going to do now is we put a shout out on Facebook about if there's any Dumb Dumb Super fans. Now, is there anyone that's listened to, you know, I guess a lot of people have listened to a lot of episodes. Is there anyone that's got a really good Dumb Dumb knowledge,

do they think, that would possibly be winning prizes for it? Is anyone keen? All right, dude, come up. There's one. We need one more. Shut up, Ronnie. Yes, yes. A lot of people getting out of their seats

mainly to leave, but there's some people coming up on stage as well. Alright. Nice to meet you. We are going to... What we're going to do now, guys, is we're going to have a little quiz and we're going to win some punchline DVDs for the winners so who knows the most dumb dumb stuff.

We've got two guests, what's your name man? Josh. Josh, hey Josh, incorrect, brrr, you've lost one already. Primo. Primo, alright, now what's your real name? That's my real name. Primo. You won.

What's your last name? Oh, no, no, no. Privacy. Alright, so what we're going to do, we are going to ask questions and we've got heaps of DVDs to give away to the winner. And what we're going to do is we've got two super fans plus the biggest super fan of Dum Dum of all, Harley Breen's

going to compete in this quiz. I have never ever missed an episode that I've been on. Alright, should we rip through all these? Yeah. Okay, so first question. What is...

No, the answers aren't even written on here. Do you have buzzers or something or what? What? Do you have buzzers? Fuck, you guys are fucking needy. Yeah, how do we do it? Just yell it out. Yeah, just yell it out? Just yell it out.

Yeah, just yell it out. Just yell it out. You know those little sticks you got in your hand that amplifies your voice? Have a crack. Okay. One, two, three. What is Tommy's least favourite place in Australia? Maribor.

Perth. What? Perth. It's Perth. Oh, Maribor. No, it's Perth. Perth. It's Maribor.

Why would I hate Maribor? This guy's telling me that I'm wrong about my own life. I'm being heckled about my knowledge on me by a guy called Primo. This is bullshit. This is classic Primo. Alright, alright. What was the worst episode of the Little Dumb Dumb Club we've ever done? Episode 77. What?

77. You said all of them. What's Dumb Club we've ever done. Episode 77. What? 77. You said all of them. What's 77? Charlie Pickering. Oh, what? Why was that the worst? Too short. Too short.

Oh, that's a nice thing, I guess. There we go. That turned around, didn't it? All right, all right. Jesus Christ. All right, mate. Suck his cock. Jesus.

Harley won that one. According to Carl, which race of people enjoy Pizza Hut the most? Indians. Indians. But to be fair, he can't. Points, come on. He can't tell the difference between Indians or Pakistanis.

Name as many of our aliases as you can. Allsop. That is one of mine, yes. Chook. Chook, okay, yeah. Peter Farquhar. Peter Farquhar? Was that one?

That's not one at all. That's not one at all. That's Warsaw. Peter Farquhar. Was that one? I don't even know. That's not one at all. That's not one at all. That's Walsall. Peter Farquhar. Peter Walsall, yes, that's one. According to the videos we just watched, Tim, I believe. Oh, yeah. Oh, good, recent.

Charles Candler is in there. Oh, yeah, you've got, you've, oh, yeah. I actually got that. Charlie Candler. Hey! Yeah. That's from an episode you were on. Yes, it was.

Still counts. Name one from an episode you were on, Primo. I did, Tim. Primo has had a campaign for too long. I also like that the image of Will has been left on the screen as if he's looking over us going thank fuck

I wasn't in the country for this yeah alright come on come on quick hands on fictional buzzers what's someone saying

making up questions behind us like the question why are we still doing this how many episodes of the little dum dum club has there been 299

this guy this guy this guy seriously how many good episodes of the little dum-dum club has there been? my original answer

none I like how the number one super fan has come up and just gone water pile of shit this place is he's the number

one super shit cunt you've got here he's done well. Alright, alright. Let's Alright, here's Let's wrap this up. Couple more.

Yeah, couple more. Did Harley Breen have sex in Singapore four weeks ago? Doubted. Doubted. Who could possibly know? I was very drunk.

But I did wake up in somebody else's place and my balls hurt. So but no one else was there. I don't know what I'm talking about. Why did you say that? It was a private conversation.

I was very excited about my first Tinder date that Luke McGregor made me go on. Closest answer wins. How many days to go until Nick Cody's birthday? 227. All right, you said a number. That'll do. Is that the end? Or one more? You're one more.

Ronnie, do you want to ask a question? Alright, I'll do. Josh and Prima, everyone! They're both, we've got DVDs from Punchline for both of them. Punchline DVD. Alright, should we rip into Australia's favourite?

No, let's get our guests. We've got one last guest. Josh and Primo, everyone, thanks. Thanks, guys. I'll take that. Hey, Primo. Can you go sit down there? Hey, Primo, there's a bell tower somewhere with a gun in it that you need to get to.

Jesus. Ronnie, Ronnie, don't go too far away. Ronnie's coming back. He's just... All right, guys, we've got one more guest before we do. Rad Dad has been on the show many, many times before. Please welcome in a little dum-dum club, Ed Edmonds! Hello!

Hello! Oh, man. Hello, everybody. Good evening. Xavier Michelides is just here watching, and he just made his way all the way up as we go. We've got one more guest and he's like, here we go. Despite the fact I've never been asked to do this,

obviously I'm the last one. Good on you, Dave. It's just great. Thanks, everyone, so much and have a great night. Good on you, Dave. Happy 21st, Xavier. I just did it as a joke for Oliver Clark and the best thing was you saw me

and started going, no, no! You got that scared. You're like, oh shit, he thinks he's on. You know, when we told you to be the last guest we didn't realise all of this shit was going to take so long to get through. So we apologise for that. And now I'm getting hijacked by old

Amish McXavier. long to get through. That's okay, no worries. And now I'm getting hijacked by old Sorry. Amish Mick Xavier. I'm a fucking terrorist. See you, Zave. Yeah, good one. Good on you, mate. You tried, Zave. If only he made jokes as well as he made ice. I don't get it.

It's because he looks like a massive junkie. That guy only sang Bicycle Billy all night. I think that guy meant to go to the Marion Keys convention and not up here instead. Uh oh. He's back.

It's really good for a medium that people listen to. convention and they end up here instead. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. He's back. Ruining it. That's really good for a medium that people listen to. Yeah. I feel like this is turning into the podcast without calling it the drunk cast, but maybe that's just me. And the worst bit is when we've done the drunk cast, all the mics actually work. That's the best. That And the worst bit is when we've done the drunk cast, all the mics actually work. That's the worst bit.

Anyway. Edo. Hey, guys. How are you going? Let's do some really quick talking before we get to the next bit. Okay. Yes. I'll have that one.

All right. Fucking hell. Oh, no. This is a nightmare. I wish I'd never been born. Yeah. So do a lot of people. That makes two of us.

You were on TV the other night, Edo. Oh, come on, guys. There she is. What did you do? What's that word? Controversial. No, confidential.

Hey, Ronnie will know it. Confidential. Yes, I was on Dirty Laundry Live. Oh, Tommy's still here. Tommy Little's still here. Yeah, good on him. That'sial. Yes, I was on Dirty Laundry Live. Oh, Tommy's still here. Tommy Little's still here. Yeah, good on him. That's good. David Quirk is here.

Come on, guys. It was midway through a story and now we're just listing people who are standing in the doorway. Fucking hell. So, Etta, you were on television on Thursday night. Yes, and I was going to stay anonymous, but now I've been outed. I was tits on Dirty Laundry Live, just my tits. Your actual noughts? No, it was just my top.

They rang me up and they were like, mind you, I've auditioned to be on the panel, but now go. You know, less of this, a bit more of this. They came up with... I just, I can't believe this I can't get over this Is there one inch of the floor

that's not covered in a bottle? Not at my apartment That sounded sexual but it's not Are we recording this live from the tip? It's depressing

What? Harley's lonely Pretty fucking lonely It's just sad. It's depressing. What? Harley's lonely. Pretty fucking lonely. Thanks for caring, everyone. Sorry. That's all right. Yeah.

Anyway. So the big question is, that was on Thursday night, has Tony Martin put your tits onto IMDb yet? That is very good. Probably. Yeah, so they called me up and they said, we don't want to hear from you or see your face, but can you just be tits on camera? And I said, how much?

And they said, 400. I said, see you there. Hello. And it was just one tit, wasn't it? It was just one tit, yes. And Tommy, this is the weird bit, Tommy Daslow spotted it. And I hadn't told anyone. I get this, see your tits on the telly.

No, I did. I knew you were going to be on. I knew you were going to be on. That is the best impersonation of Tommy Nassau ever. Oh, no. Oh, I see your tits on the telly. Oh, no. Oh, my life. Oh, my real life.

I've got the text messages. I can produce them. And I said, wasn't me. And he goes, bullshit. No, no, because Chandler told me, he said, Edo's doing something on the show. So I was watching and then I heard your voice. And I did, I texted you and I said, seen your boobs on the telly.

And then you wrote, nah, wasn't me. And for a moment I legitimately freaked out and thought, fuck, what if it actually wasn't her? What a creepy fucking message. Well, that fucking looked like yours to me. Yeah, that would have been creepy. Well, that fucking looked like yours to me. Yeah, that would have been creepy. Yeah, exactly.

Sorry, creepy-er. Actually, kind of better. Really? Oh, man. I've got some real self-assessment to do at the end of this podcast. All right, let's crack on. Let's get to Rad Dad. All right.

It's time for Australia's favourite and longest-running radio serial, Rad Dad. It's time for Australia's favourite and longest running radio serial, Rad Dad. Can we get all Tommy and Ronnie and Claire back on? That would be awesome. Round of applause for Rad Dad, yeah? Does someone need this? Am I doing it or my tits? Oh. Am I doing it on my tits?

I got a four star review on The Age once. We've all got things going on. Oh. Yeah, give us some music. Oh yeah, we could have had that when we were being awkward. Hey, weren't you going to change your clothes? Oh, fuck. It's rad that hearing. I'm here to say I'm just ratting around.

You're a fucking idiot. It's lucky he's only the first line. Carl's back. Carl's back. Word to your mother. Could you undo a tie any slower, you fucking idiot? He couldn't even tie it in the first place. Xavier Michaelides had to do that for him.

Move your old brittle fingers a bit quicklier. Are you having a wake? What are you doing? What the fuck? Hurry up, you 40-year-old fuckhead. Are you fucking Newman at the moment? Is Carl 40? Is he?

Play the music again, Newman, for fuck's sake. It's a t-shirt He still hasn't done anything Fuck me Carl's girlfriend Do you ever dress him in the morning Because it's like Yay That's the word Totally worth it Do you have to dredge him in the morning? Because he's... It's about as dead as tan. Yay!

Oh, that's the worst. Totally worth it. Sucked in everyone listening at home. Hey. Hey, Ronnie Chang. If only I could be myself. Hey, Ronnie Chang, how did watching that compare to watching that little girl piss? All right. Good lord.

Let's get into the serious theatre, alright? Here we go. Jeez, about 20 pages long. Shut up, bottles. This is already the worst thing I've ever been a part of. Yeah, that compares to those other things you've been in. Oh. Oh. Great size room you're in here, don't you?

Carl's 40. I'm not! I am not 40. 40 is so old. It's so old. Oh my god. And you look shit for 40 so old. Oh my God. And you look shit for 40 as well. You look 43. I look...

You're like an old 40, not like a young 40. You've definitely got hemorrhoids. That has happened now. Many people think I'm in high school. You're 10 times the age of Ronnie's outfit. I can't believe I wrote all this. Here we go. Here we go.

Neither can I. Here we go. Here we go. Okay, let's make it less good now. Quick. Yeah, quick. I'm sure no one will take this off the road. Hey, wake up, Jenny.

Wake up. What is it, Rad Dad? What time is it? It's 9am. Why are you up so early? Did you have a wet dream about Xena the Warrior Princess again? No, I couldn't sleep. I'm too excited. It's 9am. Why are you up so early? Did you have a wet dream about Xena the Warrior Princess again? No, I couldn't sleep. I'm too excited.

It's my birthday. Yeah, it's your 40th birthday, you fucking idiot. You're not supposed to be looking forward to it. No one's coming down the chimney and leaving you a mighty, mighty Boston CD in your hot tuna stocking. But I just can't wait for my surprise birthday party. What surprise birthday party? I've thrown myself a birthday party.

Surprise! Oh, God. Oh, dude, it's going to be so good. I've bought all the party supplies already. I've got curly whirlies, I've got nerds, I've got morro bars, I've got warheads, I've got milo bars. Yeah, I'm pretty sure none of that food has been made for 20 years, Rad Dad. If you eat any of that, you'll be dead in...

I mean, sounds like a great idea, Rad Dad. I'll help you stuff some of it into your mouth right now. Oh, better. Yeah. You're prepared. I just wanted to get involved. That must be one of my party guests now. Happy birthday, Rad Dad.

Turn on your mic. It is on. Oh, okay. Fucking hell, you really are 40. Your hearing's going. Anyway, as I said, happy birthday, Rad Dad. It's me, your fellow depressed single dad friend, Hurley. It's really to the bone.

It's good to have friends. Hurley? Hurley? Whoa, your mum and dad did not try very hard when they named you. Yeah. I'd have to agree with the two people who you named there. What? Who named me?

No, read the line. Alright, mate. Fucking hell, I should have had another joint. The two people who named me are fucking idiots. Anyway, can I bring my bike in here? Sure, you rode here? You live like 30 kilometres away. Oh, me wife took my car. Okay, well, come inside.

Can I take your coat? Why do you tell friends personal things? Can I take your coat, Hurley? No, me wife took that too. Ex-wife. Okay, just go and take a seat then. What seat? There was one there a minute ago.

Oh, fuck, me wife took that too. Come on. Listen, it was a hard divorce and she's a good woman and she didn't take everything. She got what was fair to her and I got a bit fucked over. Anyway. I don't know where that came from. Hey, but at least you're not 40.

Hey, it's another guest. Hashtag winning. Oh, boy, I hope this is the Grim Reaper. Oh, it's my older sister, Adelita. Yeah, hi, Rad Dad. Happy birthday. And here's your present. Okay, well, thanks. You got me a birthday. Here's your present. Okay, well thanks.

You got me a dog. That's really nice. Just a dog. Listen closely, Rad Dad. Oh my God! That's right, Rad Dad. Only the best for my utterly tragic little brother. Dude, it can't be.

Yeah, it is. I got you the actual farting Mambo dog. Good boy, Mambo. Yeah. I'm from Perth. Sounds like another of your classic birthday guests, Rad Dad. What up, bro? Oh my God, it's comedy superstar Ronnie Chang.

What are you doing here? I love your comedy. For me, you're up there with geniuses like Paulie Shore and Tim the Toolman Taylor. Shut up, you old fuck. I'm here because I was hired by the Starlight Foundation. It says here a girl called Jenny told them there was a very sick little boy here called Rad Dad who needed cheering up because he's terminally stuck in the 90s. That's weird because I'm called Rad Dad, but that's not an accurate description of me at all. That's ridiculous.

I mean, I'm about as stuck in the 90s as Third Rock from the Sun is a bad TV show. Okay, Jenny, I hope for your sake it really is Terminal. That was pretty dark to enter a new character, huh? I did the line wrong as well. Fuck, and now I've got to clean up after Cancer Gear? Fucking hell, you're probably on the hour mark now, Cancer Gear? Anyway, there was technically a knock on the door there. Oh, hey, I wonder who that could be.

Well, Tommy Little's the only one who hasn't done anything in this yet, so it's probably him. Shut up, Journey. Oi! Oh, I get it. Yeah, you get it. Yeah, sorry. I got one line ahead and I realise what's going on.

Oi! I saw these dumb fucks walk into this house and it looks like there's a party going on. It's just summer days, oh my God! Oh my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You know what I love? Even when we're giving you shit about being 40,

trying to dress cool, you're wearing the fucking Beastie Boys singlet. One of them died fucking a few years ago, you 40-year-old cunt. Oh, my God. That wasn't in the script. That's on the page. Oh my god. Settle down.

Settle down here. So please take off your jacket in our house. Take it off. Take it off. Tommy's back. So, hey, sorry, dude. This is my birthday party, but hey, you're most welcome to... Hey, shut up, mate. Okay, I get it. It's a dick but hey, you're most welcome to... Hey, shut up, mate.

Okay, I get it. It's a dickhead festival and you're headlining it. Ah, fuckface. Now, you got any pills or what? We're shelving. Well, hey, man. Well, actually, I do. But, hey, where have they gone?

Me wife took them. Actually... Actually... Actually... Actually... What a shit cunt. Actually, hey, wait a minute. Where did all my presents go? Oh, it's me wife. I've got them all.

Oh, no, that was where I was meant to say that. Oh, you're me wife, you cunt. Yeah, it's me, your wife Maureen. It's payback time, Hurley. All these years you've treated me like a podcast you weren't on and never listened to me, so now I'm going to take everything you have and everything your loser mates have.

It's the least I deserve for putting up with you and your stupid lumberjack drunk looking arse. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Hurley, I think you look like a hot lumberjack, hey? Thanks mate, but me wife took me self-respect. Thanks mate, but me wife took me self-respect. Seems like a bit of a weird end of the episode. Oh hey, at least Hurley's wife didn't take the Mambo dog.

Or the Marbo dog as it's apparently called. Sorry, but that wasn't the dog. Those curly whirlies have gone right through me. Oh, Rad Dad! Yay! Okay, so that's the rehearsal done. So should we now do... Rad Dad is filming in front of a large studio audience. Claire Hooper's actually got to go to a proper grown-up gig. Guys, I think that's just about time for us to wrap it up

Can we have a big round of applause for Claire Hooper Tommy Little Ronnie Chang Harley Breen Anne Edmonds Oliver Clark at the start of the show Marcus Newman on the Xavier Michelides is coming on to take a bow

Someone's saying Xavier's Corner. Someone's requesting Xavier's Corner. Do you want to do a quick Xavier's Corner to round us out? More cheers than for Rad Dad. Go fuck yourselves, all of you. I think this is a great idea. I've had heaps of beers and no thought put into this at all. I don't feel any pressure.

This is the last thing that will end this whole 200 episodes. And it's going to be fucking great. Oh, Jesus. Alright, guys. Well, I think that brings us to the end of the Little Dum Dum Club for this week, for the 200th episode Guys, thank you so much for coming down Very

Thank you so much guys for listening every week and coming to the live shows, we really appreciate it Hey, look, a big thanks to everyone that's helped us for 200 episodes You know what, all the guests have been on, especially all the people with big names that have been very generous especially all the people with big names that have been very generous to give their time to us,

especially someone like Will Anderson, who's been a champion of the podcast and all podcasts the whole time that we've been around. So we really appreciate it. Give it up for Will. Yeah. And to... And yeah, everyone who gives up an hour of their week

to sit around with us, often at very short notice. Yeah. Fuck! We did... Yeah, we did Barry FM. Barry Barry FM, Barry Digital through Austereo were very nice to us in the early days, so thank you to them. But all of our mates, everyone that spends time, and you know what?

All you guys that listen and turn up to the show to do your little bit to make it worthwhile for us to keep going. So we really appreciate that. Yeah, this is crazy. When you start something like this, this is something that you hope might happen, but you couldn't think would actually happen. So guys, give yourselves a big round of applause once again for supporting the show.

It's awesome. I feel like it would have seemed a lot more heartfelt if I hadn't been dressed like this, but anyway. Yeah, so I drew this poster and Carl sort of put it together, so we got this for sale. We made up just 30 of them that are here for tonight, and that's it. Us and the guests, if they're around, we'll sign them for you. They're seven bucks if you want one. This is the only place you can get it.

So it'd be cool if you want one of them. We've also got, if you listen to this at home and you enjoyed it, we've got the Adelaide show, August 12th. Tickets on sale now at littledumbdumbclub.com. I'm doing a show in this venue on August the 27th. My show, Pipsqueak, if you want to come, it's me at tommydassolo.com. Is there anything else we need to plug? We've got Perth coming up plug we've got Perth coming up

we've got Perth coming up it's on sale now yeah I think that's it we just can't like yeah we appreciate everyone's support and help and everyone who's into it

so much so yeah if you guys want to stick around we'll be here for a bit having drinks what? bring on Bicycle Billy Bicycle Billy

here he is hey that's it let's go thanks guys thanks guys we got cake out the front see ya mates yes Billy. High school Billy. There he is. Hey, that's it. Let's go. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. We got cake out the front. See you, mate.

Yes.