The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 209 - Peter Helliar & Adam Rozenbachs

Episode Date: October 8, 2014

Mraz Fans, Cheese Sandwiches and Bus Tours. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, mates, it is getting close to our Perth live show, Sunday, November 2nd at Rosie O'Grady's pub. Carl, we're pretty pumped up, aren't we? Yeah, we're going to Northbridge where we've got three special guests coming in. We're flying a bunch of them in. It's a three, three and a half hour show. We're pretty excited and we've got really good tickets out so far, so we need every last one of you Perth listeners to come down and make the most of us being in town.

You've got 51 weeks of free podcasts. Come down and make this one count. Yeah, we'll be hanging around for a little bit afterwards. We'll have some stuff to sell and whatnot. So yeah, come down. The Adelaide one was so much fun. So we'd love to see you guys there. Also, we've just locked in.

We're going to do a Sydney live episode Sunday, November the 30th. That is happening in your fine city at 7.30 p.m. And, yeah, it's been – well, yeah, I mean, after the greatness that was the Sydney live episode at the Comedy Festival, come down and see if we have mics working and lights going. That's the great thing about our live podcast is it guarantees that you actually hear the episode because people at home, they're under no guarantee that they'll end up hearing

any of these live episodes. Yeah, yeah, exactly. You'll get to see all the visual treats that are going on. So, guys, Sunday, November 2nd in Perth, Sunday, November 30 in Sydney, and we're going to announce a Melbourne one soon. But for now, tickets to those two can be found at littledumbdumbclub.com. And we'll see you there, mates. Hey, mates.

Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo, and sitting opposite me, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day dickhead. Oh, you've got nothing over the top of me. No, sometimes I try and do that and I just go, how are you doing? I just got off the phone from my dad.

I was saying I was a bit busy and everything And he always gets worried that I'm doing too much So he goes This is his piece of advice It's a man who's not friends with you on Facebook But yeah, okay This is his piece of advice for me today He goes, just remember Carl He who goes slowest wins the race

He who goes slowest wins the race Which, yeah, I'm not sure if that holds up, but it does explain why he still lives in Maryborough, I guess. Yeah, yeah. I'd love to see the illustration on that motivational poster that he's got stuck up in his office. Well, I saw my mum the other night and my mum and dad had been at a dinner party the night before and mum was telling me how much she'd enjoyed the canapes that were on offer

but she was pronouncing it canapes, which kind of blew me away. Like mum's 60-something and she's still carrying that around. There's been a lot of people through the last 60 years that think your mum is a dickhead at dinner parties. Mum is running the slowest race of all time. She cannot keep up with the rest of society. Today on the program, two returning guests. First of all, you know him from the Junk Time podcast and as Captain Cole in the Coles ads.

Please welcome back in a little dum-dum club, Adam Rosenbach. Thank you, boys. Thank you. I have been murdered, so we can get into that if you like. Is it done? Yes. Oh, wow. It's been cooked.

Captain Coles is dead. Clean up in aisle four. There's blood just pouring out. So have Safeway and SSW been sniffing around? Yeah. I'm going to be the new Tucker bag. And also joining us from the project and it's a date, please welcome back into Little Dumb Dumb Club, Peter Hellier.

Yeah. Have Marvel been sniffing around? I mean, is it next level? There's a deal in the works. I turn rogue and I take on Batman. Has it been that thing where they always get rogue? I put all the prices in Gotham up. Is that thing where the superheroes always worry about their secret identity being out there

because then the enemies can threaten their loved ones? So is that it? Have the people behind high prices been threatening your mum and dad? Well, no, the new girl is in trouble at Coles. Oh, right. Yeah, so it's a long history. Now, I think I did the last one in about March and then I was chasing them up to try and go,

is it going around again, you know, because I would like to buy something shiny and new. It is some quality bunts that you're getting. You just want an excuse to wear the suit. Well, I like it. I like going out west in Melbourne and wearing that suit because the people out there just love it. The meth heads really enjoy it.

But I just was kept – and the company that I was dealing with, they were like always instant replies on emails, phone calls, whatever I needed. And then after it took – Well, it was Captain Cole. Exactly. They respected the cape. You threw the Cole signal up into the air.

They were there immediately. And after it drifted out to three weeks, four weeks, two months, I'm like, he's dead in the water. Yeah. He ain't coming back. Is he definitely dead or has he been recast? Like what would happen if you're watching and you see Steel Saunders as Captain Cold?

I'd just like to see the fans on the forums debating that one. The first leaked image of Steel in the Coles costume, people pouring over it going, this is bullshit. I'd just be down at the chutes going, he's doing it all wrong. That's not how you give away an unreal deal. When The Dark Knight was about to come out, before it came out in cinemas, there were no images out there of Two-Face.

Like they deliberately, they wanted that to be a big reveal and there was some comic convention where they had the little Two-Face action figure on display and someone got a photo of it and that was the only image of any kind of likeness of what Two-Face was going to look like in The Dark Knight. And I remember seeing a thing on the net where the fans were going crazy. Going, this looks like shit.

And then people were going, it's a one centimetre piece of plastic. This is not representative of what he's actually going to look like in the film. So, yeah. So, when you were Captain Cole. Captain Cole from Cole. Just Cole. So, yeah. So, when you were Captain Cole, Captain Cole from Coles. Just Cole. Oh, Cole. Just Cole.

Everyone else gave it a Captain or Captain Coles, but it was just Cole. It's just the way people took it into their own hearts. Yeah, that's right. They added to the legacy, to the history, the tapestry of this character. So, I think it was my fan fiction that started it off. Yeah, yeah.

I appreciate that. So, you, because I remember when you first got that and And how did you get that? How did you not get that now? I think we should all go around and tell us say where we were when we first saw Cole because I remember my wife

putting the newspaper in front of me. We're having breakfast and we just went oh my god and then she just put the newspaper in front of me. I'm like, what, tomatoes? Reasonably priced. And everyone, what? It's fucking Rosie. How much did you laugh?

I laughed a bit. I laughed. I think there was a bit of a race on Twitter and Facebook to screenshot and get it out to every other comic. I don't think I did. I think I avoided it because I thought that would be happening. Yes. And I thought, I've known Rosie for a long time.

I can understand. I once cross-dressed to get into a women's gym. So I'm not going to be the first to throw stones. But I understand. How long did that contract go for? That was one. That was one. So it was idols like you You're a pioneer Pete

I was I was a pioneer So yeah I did I was in a series of actual Fernwood ladies gyms And where I Oh this is a real thing

I dressed up as a woman Oh This is a daily occurrence Yeah That is not what I did I remember these Yeah And I would like

I was in like Lua tracksuits And carrying like a chihuahua, like a parrot, parasailing at her height and trying to get into these gyms. And, you know, I'm told they did very well for Fernwood. But then I think somebody cracked the shits within the organisation saying, well, you know, we need to have a woman doing this. Yeah.

So Lisa carried Kenny. Oh, really? To go over. Oh. But it's a strange one because he kind of – to have a woman doing this. Yeah. So Lisa Carrie Kenny. Oh, really? Took over. Oh, right. But it's a strange one because he kind of, there was a part of me that was relieved. Yeah. Because of, you know, what it is.

Yeah, yeah. And there's also a part of you that goes, oh, but Jesus, that was good cash. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. And I think too, and I've always tried to explain this, that first photo was so out of context as to what the character was. So it looked like I I just hit rock bottom.

Oh, yeah, the context totally changed that, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Because once you get to hear the character and see the character. Once I saw the origin ads, it all made sense. But just to see me in a superhero outfit pointing at something and just go, wow, he's needed some cash. That would be awesome to actually film. That would be actually a good

sketch to turn up at those Comic Con conventions and you in your full uniform just trying to get on. Setting up your own booth. Why is that funny? Because we were working on This Week Live at the time, I think.

Because I think it was an insert in the – it was like in a brochure that was – no, it was an ad in the paper that day. In the Herald Sun, yeah. And about six different people brought it into the office thinking, I'm going to be the one that's delivering this news. But like everyone's brought it in. So there was just like dozens of them stuck all over the office walls for a day. And, you know, when you've got a big gig like that,

when you've got something like that going on, it's sort of sometimes hard to like not tell everyone about it and go, oh, how good's this? But you managed it pretty well. Yeah, the only people I told were Carl Chandler and another writer that we were working with at the time, Marco Tall. Did you even tell us or did it just come out? No, because remember they sent me some rushes of the commercials.

Oh, that's right. And we were up in Sydney and I showed. So Marco Tool, to put it into context, is possibly the most cynical man that you've ever met in your life. And I showed the ads to you two. They'd just been sent up from Melbourne. We were in Sydney. And you two laughed.

Yeah. You laughed at a point that I wasn't expecting there to be like a bit of a joke and that kind of reassured me for half a second until the ad came out

yeah I think this is a good insight into Carl Chandler as a friend that you can show him something to get his feedback to get his advice to your most vulnerable

he has no fucking memory of that happening at all he's like no you didn't tell us you don't tell us. You don't remember your mate showing you an ad of him in a fucking latex outfit walking around a supermarket. Even now there's a part of him that's like, was Rosie in an ad?

I've got a lot of mates that show me stuff like that. So you've gotten the official call from them that it's done? They've moved on. No, they it's done? They've moved on. No, they've moved on. They've moved on to some other campaign. Because they did, for a while there, they had about three different campaigns going at once. There was yourself, there was Status Quo,

and then there was like some other one. The girl, the girl from the deli. The new girl, yeah. Yeah, and then all the singing guys, the four kind of, no, no, no, the acapella. No, they came after me. You've overlapped your Coles character. But that's still a lot to have in a pretty short space of time.

They were building a Marvel universe. It was going to be Coles Avengers. What if Stan Lee pops up on the next set? Just bring some mushrooms in a brown paper bag. next step. Just wanting some mushrooms in a brown paper bag. Oh, that would be, oh man, that's incredible. That's so good.

So yeah, no, I'm done. You're done. It's all over. So you're a free agent now? Free agent, yeah. I'm happy to, although I think they said, I think part of the contract was I can't do a similar character for another supermarket within a year. And I wanted to fight it, but I just thought, ah, just let it go. The idea that if that wasn't in your contract, that that would happen.

Yeah, I know. Like what brand would want and go, let's get that guy that people remember from this brand already for a year and just stick him in our thing. Hey, hey, I was pretty popular, mate. But that would be an awesome ad if you had, remember when John Laws switched Aragard or whatever? Like he switched fly spray? And he was sort of like...

Because he used to be like, oh, when you find a good thing, stick to it. And then he did another ad going, when you find a better thing, change to it. So it's sort of like burning Aragard or whatever. So if he starts an ad for Safeway... If I was in Woolworths, going how much better is Woolworths,

some people would be like, wow, he's made the switch. Yeah. If he starts the ad by burning the old uniform and going, what was that shit? Anyway. Or setting fire to a Coles and murdering 300 people in there. Like really setting it off.

Yeah, you turn evil. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's kind of, you know, it's like I like when marketing gets really aggressive, like at the moment they've got in Hungry Jack's because McDonald's have their monopoly thing going on where you can win free food. And Hungry Jack's have a thing. If you win a free Macca's burger and you take the coupon into Hungry Jack's,

they'll give you a Hungry Jack's burger. That is just incredible. So if McDonald's have Monopoly, Hungry Jack's being the low rent version of McDonald's, what should they have? Squatter. But I love it. I love that's so, that's like warfare. That's so cool.

It's incredible. They should have their own Cluedo. It's like, you know, with the whopper in the car park. Accidentally shat his pants. Sorry, who shat their pants? The guy who ate the Whopper. So how does this relate to you having the food in the store? Like what are you winning?

What's your prize for shitting your pants in this game in the car park? Also, everyone's dying in this game in Hungry Jacks. It's like, is that a good thing? All right, well, someone's got diabetes. I'm just thinking it through here. Just brainstorming, guys. Well, now that you're a free agent, speaking of you doing other roles and whatever,

I've heard you've got a great cameo on Peter Helly's new season two of It's a Date. Yes, I'm a security guard, a creepy security guard, and I really didn't have to go too far to nail the role. Right. Yeah, nice one. So that's It's Starting, in case you're listening to it later, whatever, what is the date?

October 16. It starts, it'll be a Thursday night at 9 o'clock following Upper Middle Bogan. So it's Bogan date night on the ABC1. And the great thing is with both seasons of It's A Date is that you have almost gone out of your way to give gigs to comics, to Melbourne comics and Australian comics and whatever, which is awesome because, you know,

it's hard for a lot of people to get work. Well, an exciting news for listeners of this podcast is that I filmed a role in an episode of season two. Once you're filmed, you're guaranteed to get in it. Yes, that's what it said. It's in my contract that I'm not allowed to do any roles within a year on competing comedy dating shows. Because you're going to be the next Bachelor as well.

It really screwed me. Actually quite apt with recent events in my life. But anyway, yeah. screwed. Actually, actually quite apt with recent events in my life. But anyway, yeah. So anyway, I'm,

I'm, I'm, yeah, I mean, yeah, I haven't heard anything to the contrary. So look out for that episode,

Matt O'Kine and Celia Pakola in that one. And that's episode one. Yeah. Is it the first episode? It's the first episode. October 16, people can tune in.

So we'll be able to hurry up and get over our watching Tommy Daslow straight away after the first episode. Yeah, yeah. What are you doing, Tommy? The only thing you might – I did have a conversation with you recently, Tommy. Oh, actually, that's right. What was the – You called me.

Yeah. Actually, hang on. I was hosting a gig that you were headlining. Yes, and I called you beforehand. I was 20 minutes before walking on stage to do this gig. 20 minutes, I called you. I thought this would be a good time because I called you. And what was the core of that conversation?

What was the... You were asking what time the gig started. That's right. That was the main... And then I think there was this little afterthought. There was an afterthought to that question. I got the time. That is, what time does the gig start?

What time do you reckon I have to get there? Yeah. I mean, it was such a great gig that I'm kind of having a hard time remembering. That's right. We cut you from the episode. So let's get back to Captain Collins.

Well, I am in... Yeah, look, so that's what's happened. You said the... Because my role was just... I had one line. I had a little... A little cameo, like a tiny little throwaway joke.

We start with Thunder FM with The Pig and Twotsie and the Pig, Laurence Mooney and Tommy Little. Which one of those two is he? He's the pig, he's the pig and Twotsie is the girl. Rebecca Johanbury who embraces the role

and yes they're running a competition which called Ghostbusters with Jason Mraz which gets cancelled because Jason Mraz doesn't show up so they decide to set Celia's character up

on a date for the first five guys who can get into the studio and Tesla's character rocks up, still wanting to go to spas with Jason Mraz. So he's there with Mraz written on his... See, it's killing. Why did you cut it out?

In all seriousness, it was hilarious. So when you film an episode, you have basically what they call the assemble and that's basically all the scenes laid out, not edited yet. So this is all the lines that are in the script and it ran for 43 minutes. So we got to get it back to down to 27 minutes and a half. So there was a lot that came out of that episode. And unfortunately…

Did it have anything to do with the fact that Ghost Spaz with Jason Mraz was going to be during Mental Health Week? Well, there was a little bit. I must say, there was a little bit of, well, it's in the first two minutes of the series. So we did kind of go, well, maybe. And it was, to be honest, apart from nothing to do with time, but it was an easy, it didn't affect anything else.

Yeah, it was a throwaway. You could take it out and the story doesn't get affected. So when you're trying to save time, you are looking for things that will not affect the storyline. And to be honest, when, sorry. I was going to say, how hard for you is that to do, knowing that you're going to have to cut a mate out of it? Because you did that to me in season one.

The irony is that Adam's doing this podcast and I said the same thing to Tommy when we cut Adam. And Adam, it was a much smaller role. He was basically playing yourself on stage before Steve Curry's character, Wheels McGee, came on stage. So I just did a stand-up line. So you did one line and then Lemo came out and introduced Steve's character. So in the end, we basically saved time.

We just started with Limo's character introducing Wills McGee. And so I had to ring Rosie and say, listen, mate. What time's the gig? What time's the gig? You know what he told me? I've never got a gig. How long before you go on? He goes, I'm still two hours away.

Can you give me a call back in an hour and a half? Well, you did. When you called to tell me, you did then say, and look, you know, I just want to say, you know, I'm still two hours away. Can you give me a call back in an hour and a half? When you called to tell me, you did then say, and look, I just want to say I'm sorry about this and look, next time I come on the podcast, we can talk about it. That's fine with me, which very big of you and I do appreciate. No, I said we can chat about or not chat about. I cannot tell anyone or we can chat about it.

And I did say, if you do another series, there'll be a better role for you. And I did say that to Adam. And it's a much better role, isn't it? Yeah, totally. Absolutely. We're fine. And it's one of those things where even I knew that for time it was not anything to do with the storyline.

It could easily slot out and the show would work. So it's just kind of one of those things where you're like, oh, I just really wanted to be a part of it. But it's worked out heaps better. And there's been some quite, I've got to say, one or two seasoned actors who we've had to kind of take out. Oh, McCune. Sorry, McCune.

Sorry, McCune. What time's this gig start, Lisa? What time are you getting to the low gigs? And that's, you know, it's a little bit in a way easier with friends because, you know, you hope they understand. And with people you don't really know that well and who have done, you know, almost done you a favour by coming on and doing something and then someone can say, sorry.

Do they get told or do you just leave them until? No, we try to tell people before. Right, yeah, yeah. But I guess it's that thing because. We are still in the process of doing that. Oh. Really? Yeah. Well, you just got to book more, it's clearly thing because… We are still in the process of doing that. Oh. Really? Yeah.

Well, you've just got to book more… It's clearly you've just got to have gigs with the people who… Well, you know, eventually Sirius 3 will be made up of everyone who got cut from Sirius 2. Do you call them personally or do you have… Oh, we make contact first and we offer that if they, you know, pass on my details and say, you know… Yeah, cool.

You know, they're the people who I don't know particularly well. Like I rang you and I rang Tommy and all that so but yeah I did

I must say I rang I did ring Chandler to see if he wanted to be involved in series two you've rang me for both series

and I've been away for both there we go too good for it mate well yeah I was in somebody goes on holidays a lot

I know he's doing. I know. He's doing okay. I know. They look at when Chandler's away and then do the shooting schedule. Hello, Flight Centre. I just want to shoot a series. I definitely want to make sure one guy's away.

Well, this is the thing. So, yeah, I spent a day. And to be honest, I had a feeling because, yeah, the role was a very joke that wasn't super connected. So you know a little bit. It's like if this runs long, this is going to be the first thing to go. This will be a real line call here. But the day – so when I went in and did it, so I'm meant to be playing this guy who's just like this obsessed with jason mraz and you know what you know whatever that implies

so uh as will quite often happen with those things i got a call from uh the costume lady uh like the day or two before because they just want to see you know it's like here's what we're thinking here's what you'll be wearing and just to see do you have these things like do you have anything like this and um so she goes through these items like one by one it's like do you have a pair of pants like this and i go yeah i've got yeah i've got something like that and you have shoes like this i'm like yeah i've got them and and just gradually going through and i had like you know everything and i go and she goes oh that's great we'll just yeah if you can bring all that stuff because yeah this would be perfect because we just want the characters just meant to look just really tragic and just like a real loser,

just a real absolute sad sack. So, yeah, if you can just bring in all of your clothes for this TV role that will definitely be on air and that people will be able to watch and you can put on a showreel, that will be really great. And I did actually, I had the pleasure of writing Meraz, I think in lipstick, on your forehead. Yeah, that was the thing. It was like I'm wearing these clothes and it was like...

Not tragic enough. This is the thing that I found weird about it was, there was a debate, it was like, does he look enough like he's a big fan of Meraz? How can we make him look obviously like he's more of a big fan of Jason Meraz? So the answer was just writing the word Mraz on my forehead with black text

which is like, would anyone do that? My thinking is, I'll take you through my thinking, because it's a radio contest, if it's gone, okay, let's go to Jason Mraz. So you're this decided. In my head, you probably weren't even the biggest Jason Mraz You know And you know So you're this decided In my head

You probably weren't Even the biggest Jason Mraz fan around You just You were just Near the radio station When the call went out Just a real prize pick

Yeah Free tickets Yeah I'll go sponsored Jason Mraz So Because you didn't have A Jason Mraz t-shirt

You just went If I write it on my forehead But I like I like that shows Where Tommy Daslow's career is that he's genuinely pissed off, he's been complaining for half an hour that he's not going to be on TV with Meraz written on his forehead

He needed this I've kind of dodged a bullet Is there a contract that you can't now appear on other TV shows with other with Jay-Z written on your head or anything like that? It's just Jason Mraz. I'm not allowed to – yeah, Party Tricks wanted me to do a role as a Jason Mraz fan.

That's a shame. That's a shame that I can't do that. But nearly everything I've done in television has had some kind of backhanded thing attached to it. I don't think I've ever said this on the show. When I did Dirty Laundry about a year ago, I was sitting there next to Brooke and they were just about to start and it's like they're counting down until, because it's live, and one of the producers

has gone, oh hang on, Tommy looks a little bit short next to Brooke. Can we just, can we pump his chair up a little bit? So like a floor manager or whatever sort of runs over and starts kind of pumping the handle on the seat and going, it's up as high as it'll go. And then someone's going, well, fuck,

can we get him a cushion to sit on? Because he just looks like a dwarf next to her. And then it's like you can hear someone off the side going, four, three, two, it's like there's no time. Quick, scrub Maroz off his forehead. This is exactly how relaxed I wanted to be before a TV appearance. So the whole time I'm on air, I'm just going...

Hang on, my phone's buzzing in my pocket. Hang on, everybody. I'm sorry, Peter, I don't think you've got the power to get me off dirty laundry. No, but it's just now it's like numb. It's like any time Peter's name comes up on my phone in any context, even just on Twitter, I'm like, oh, no, it's like anytime Peter's name comes up on my phone in any context even just on Twitter I'm like oh no it's happening again

but yeah no thank you still thank you for having me on and you know I do appreciate the call I think that's that's a good thing to do because yeah episode one I would have been I would have been on this episode right now going here we go folks tune in and Pete would have been going

tune in everybody there won't be any glitches. I've got to say, listen, I haven't seen the final edit. Mate, it's out of my hands. It's out of my hands. I did direct that episode so it's a little bit tricky for me to say that. But Geraldine Hickey is also in that episode. She's great. What's that mean?

You genuinely are putting so many comics on. It's awesome. It's awesome to see so many people getting work. There are a lot of roles we have to fill, I've got to say. But it is great to see comics who haven't – for some reason, I think the TV and film industry in this country do not look at the comedy industry enough and use it. I mean, we're all people who perform weekly.

And also, people will buy tickets. The punters will buy tickets, spend $40. and use it. I mean, we're all people who perform weekly and also people who, people will buy tickets, the punters will buy tickets, spend 40 bucks on coming to see some shows, you know,

sort of like Husey will sell shit loads of tickets and then you, everybody gets wrapped up with certain actors who we think have got massive currency,

you know, household names but fuck all people go see their movies. Yeah, yeah, right. So it's like, why would you, you's like people are actually getting out of their house

going to see the comics regularly why wouldn't you maybe put one or two of them in your movie too well it's nice this is one of the first shows I can think of in quite a while

that is for the if you're a big fan of Australian comedy it's a really good one for the train spotters like that's what I've always loved about like American shows

where they just there's a constant pool of stand ups and whatever like if you know like if you know your people it's like a real kick to watch a show and go oh great there's a constant pool of stand-ups and whatever. If you know your people, it's like a real kick to watch a show and go, oh, great, there's this person and there's this person. Well, the thing with the American TV shows, particularly The Office and Parks and Rec,

is you don't even know their comics. They're that good a performer and then you'll find out. You're like, oh, right, they're a stand-up. I didn't even realise that because I hadn't seen them. That's just those guys getting the opportunities. I mean, we have not been let down by a single, a single comic. You know, there's always been... Come on. You got cut.

We've spent 10 minutes talking about it. No, not at all. I feel let down if it's any... No, sincerely not. And, like, it's... You know, sincerely not. And like it's... We've taken a few punts on people who... Like Ronnie Chang, we did not... And this is before he's even done all the...

And Luke, I mean, Luke's probably... Luke was in the pilot. That was the pilot script that we got Luke in for, McGregor. And then there's like Ballard and, you know, absolutely kills it. He's like... He's phenomenally good In his You know Stuart Dormier

Stuart Yeah Fancy boy Yeah He's amazing And I hadn't I missed Fancy Boy I didn't get out

Of the festival much this year So I missed the whole thing And he just auditioned And I said He's great Give him the role Yeah And

And then Gatesy co-wrote that episode and he said, oh, he's playing Jacob. He's the best man. He's a wedding and he's the best man. And I said, oh, this guy I haven't seen before, but he's really funny. His name's Stuart Dorman.

And Gatesy just looked at me and he's like, get fucked. Yeah, Gatesy loves fancy boys. Gatesy's a little bit obsessed. Yeah, he's a little bit obsessed with them. And he's like, well, yeah, and he's phenomenal. Yeah, great. What I want to do is I want to try and get the edit, the unedited footage of my bit from Princess Pictures

and then make a super cut where Mraz Phan, he's just rocking up in every episode. He's just in people's kitchens just, I want to go spaz for Joe. Every episode runs for an extra 15 minutes with just me rocking up in every conceivable scenario. We're kind of focusing on the launch at the moment, but I imagine, I know we've got bits and pieces for the DVD

and stuff like that, but I haven't seen the deleted scenes yet, but hopefully. Oh, that's almost more of a dream than actually being on the show. I'm glad you think that. I'm glad you think that. Does that mean I don't have to write you in a series three? I take it all back.

There's going to be a bunch of deleted stuff. We shot more stuff this year. Can I come in and film the thing I was going to do and just chuck that in the deleted scenes as well? I forget. Yours was... The story behind your bit is so funny because you couldn't do it

and the person who ended up doing your bit is just like one of the producers at the production company. It's not even like let's go try and find... It's the catering guy. That bit made it in, give that bit to fucking me. With Mraz written on your foot. You could have still been the same character. Yeah, that was – I had an idea for somebody else

and then one of the characters to do that and then I thought it probably needs to be something we haven't seen before. So, yeah, we got – one of our producers, Paul Walton, was a child star in England and now he produces – he's a great producer and he tries to get his head on the show a lot. So that was – in series one he's in i think he's technically in every episode at some point oh he's hitchcocked it he's he's he's he's would that be known for the first three or four and then this year as i said mate you got a

fucking cut of that no he's he's great but uh yeah he's he's the clicking he basically clicks gets a sound check on the microphones at some point. Watch out for that. And just know, it could have been Chandler. Yeah. Just getting off that for a little second. I went to the Melbourne show last week. Oh, yeah.

Mate, you were coming in some cash, did you? No, no. It means I wasn't working during the day. The opposite of that, yeah. And who with? I just went with a friend. And another older friend, like same age as you? Yes.

No children? No, no. Okay, so just two weird men, another man? No, a lady. A lady, okay. It just softens it a bit. Yeah, yeah. Only a bit. When was the last time you went to the show?

I don't think I've been. I probably went in year nine maybe, so I was 15. Yeah, right. Yeah. No, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Adam Carter just go walking around. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I went to my godson.

I was – my godson, his mum was like – he was just graduating kinder, I think. And she was like, oh, he's in a play. Graduating kinder? Yeah, they make a big deal of it now, don't they, Pete? Oh, wow. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she was like, oh, he's in a play. He would love you to come.

I'm like, no, he wouldn't, but I'll come anyway. So I get to this childcare or kinder or whatever the fuck it is and I beat them there. You're not a parent, are you? So I beat them there and I'm just wandering around this childcare looking at all these kids going, do I recognise anyone? And it was just like the weirdest, creepiest guy. Like everyone's looking at me going, we don't know who that is.

So I'm just like an accidental pedophile. I didn't mean it. Seventh heaven. I'm surprised that you didn't get that. Now that is where Captain Cole should have done An appearance at the show Pre I'm surprised I didn't ask you to do

Cole's show bag I don't have the uniform, that's the thing Because they kept it for potentially the next shoot And the next shoot never came You should do shopping centre appearances Like those old Full on Ninja Turtles shows I wonder where the costume goes yeah go to that like museum down in the peninsula next to the robot

do you where is do you well i'm assuming the wardrobe woman still has it marion just she possibly cleaned it last well i think uh you should get your hands on that yeah i should should not speak actually just i'd love to see it go down the shelf That would be funny Well Captain Coles has You know hit hard times He's doing over 7-11s and stuff She just brings it home

For the husband and goes Why don't you show me Where my red spot special is Yeah Speaking of like old TV Mascots and stuff There was a thing on A current affair last night

That they were sizzling up During the day that was They had an exclusive interview With a Logie winning television and radio star who's been stalked and received death threats and it was like, who could it be?

You'll definitely know who it is. And then they get to the show and the reveal was it's the bloke who does aggro. Jamie Dunn. It was like 15 minutes of him talking about how this woman is like sending him

bomb threats and stuff and it's like but the way it was hyped up was like a beloved Australian television you will definitely know who it is

and then and then they're trying to be funny in the middle of the interview and they're like and the interviewer goes did he do it as Agro? I was going to say how did Agro feel about it? Agro shit himself no but there's a thing in the middle of the interview the woman the interviewer goes. Did he do it as aggro? I was going to say, how did aggro feel about it?

Aggro was shitting himself. No, but there's the thing in the middle of the interview, the woman interviewing goes, I mean, it's just so hard to believe that anyone could want to send a death threat to aggro. And he goes, yeah, man, I mean, jeez, you wonder what aggro would have to say about it, wouldn't you? It's like, you know, I mean, if anyone would know, it's probably you. I heard he was being stalked by the woman who played Winky Dink.

Yeah, well, he got a suspicious package at the Cartoon Connection studio and crikey, the clown had to inspect it for traces of powder and stuff like that. Marty Monster would jump on that. Okay, so back to the show. You went to the show. I went to the show. So going to the Melbourne show as an adult is sort of a little bit weird

because it sort of looks like – because I'm with a girl and it looks like constantly our children have run away or whatever. But the first thing – And that you're not worried about them. Yeah. Although if you're real parents, you'd be happy for the first, what, half an hour and then you go, all right, we'll go looking for them. How long has it been since you'd been?

Not that long. Right. I actually – I reckon I've gone three times you'd been? Not that long. Right. I actually, I reckon I've gone three times in the last five years or something. Right. I went like two years ago and I went,

that'll do me for maybe a decade. Yeah, right. I've been there a lot. When you have kids, I have three and you, it's like with Christmas, you enjoy Christmas again.

Yeah. You know, your kind of battery's recharged and you're like, oh, how good's Christmas? Are the kids aware of it? Do they go, we want to go to the show

or do you say, let's go to the show? Oh, they want to go to the show. They're aware? Yeah. We did go this year and they were a little bit

devastated. Yeah, right. You know, but we went last year. So you, you show bag fans? Yeah,

of course I am. Because that's the thing, that thing where you step back where kids are going, no show bags. I just want to pat the cows. So you told your kids that they couldn't go to the show? Yes.

Me and your kids should hang out. But we went up. Devastated by news that you've told us. Are you doing a gig any time soon, son? Kids? Yeah, we have a nativity play. It's early for that, but anyway. Yeah, kid, the school holidays are running 43 minutes over time

and we've got to make some cuts to the activities. It's too much. No, we went to Buller, Mount Buller instead. So, you know, they do okay. Trust me. They're listening that you guys do okay. Yeah, showbanks. Like that thing where I feel like explaining to our international listeners

because you grow up as a kid and you go, oh, show bags are like one of the top five things in the world. Oh, the day that The Guide came out in the newspaper. Oh, yeah. Oh, the best. But it's not a thing that's anywhere around the world, is it? Show bags. I think we're the only ones to have show bags.

Did you have a list of things? It's koalas, kangaroos and show bags. I think that's what we've got. Did you have a list of things, show bags you had to buy for other people? No, I didn't. Okay. No. I genuinely thought, oh, I should buy some.

Because I forgot in my head, I'm thinking show bags are actually quite good value. Because you know when they say, oh, it's actually $72 worth of value and it costs $10. And then you go there and see the Cadbury show bag and it's got five fun-sized picnics for $10. And you go, hang on a minute, this is… The bag's expensive. You can reuse the bag. All the ones that have toys in it and it's like a pair of plastic handcuffs and they're adding that up.

It's like, well, the retail value of that is like $5. It's like, is it for a pair of shit plastic handcuffs? Like what market value have you pulled this from? Yeah, where are you selling those plastic handcuffs? And those bowling vouchers aren't worth that much. These are bowling vouchers. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shitty vouchers that you wouldn't ever fucking use.

Well, the magazines. The magazines that have a show bag and it's like 60 bucks and it's just eight issues of the magazine and a stubby holder. But that's the thing, you know, the most famous show bag of them all, the Bertie Biddle show bag. They go, oh, Bertie Biddle, the most famous show bag of them all, the Birdie Beetle show bag. They go, oh, Birdie Beetle,

still only two bucks. How amazing is that? Not that amazing, it's got three Birdie Beetles in it. That's the show bag. No, I got, there was a mega Birdie Beetle bag

and it may have been like four bucks or five bucks and there were genuinely, I think, I think there were 50 Birdie Beetles in there. Oh,

really? Yeah, because I got that one. Genuinely, this one has three Birdie Beetles. I finished them by the time I got home. The Birdie Beetle in there. Oh, really? Yeah, because I got that one. Genuinely, this one has three Bertie Beetles in it. I finished them by the time I got home. The Bertie Beetle, great chocolate bar, I will say. Worth the two bucks.

I think, are they in the world of Morrow bars? Is that the only place you can buy them? I think so, yeah. You can't buy them by themselves anymore. Here's another. Occasionally, if you walk into a milk bar, you know when you walk into a milk bar every now and then and you can get tab?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like that. We are into some serious Peter Hellyer territory right now. Old things from milk bars. This is it. Welcome to Peter Hellyer's wheelhouse. You know, in this series of interviews today, I had to fight for a Bublo Bill reference with the ABC.

Who's fighting against you? No, it wasn't even about the kind of... You name one, you've got to name all the chocolate bars that have bubblegum noses. I just had to go... You've got to name the Monaco bar, you've got to go... I had to find the... I thought Bubba Lo Bill was the funniest ice cream

for the situation. Yeah, sure. Absolutely. Yeah, you're correct. What was the fight over? Was it Victorian only, did they think, or just... No, it's just somebody didn't find Bubba Lo's bill particularly funny. I was like, hang on.

It's called a Bubba Lo bill for a start. It's got a bubble gum for its nose. It's shaped like, you know, it's a cowboy's Bubba Lo bill. The name's funny. It is funny. I like that in the actual ice cream that he's actually got a hole in his hat. Like, what a pain in the ass that must be when they're... Like, that must be pretty impractical when you're making the ice cream. There's this little hole in the middle of it. That's why got a hole in his hat. Like, what a pain in the ass that must be when they're, like, that must be pretty impractical

when you're making the ice cream. There's a little hole in the middle of it. That's why people kept going back to him. And who are these people that are just, why is Bubba Lowe Bill constantly under fire? Because he's got a bullet hole through his head. Because he's got a bubble gum on his nose. So people are thinking, I'm going to kill this arsehole and eat his nose. If you grew up, if you went to primary school with a kid that had bubble gum for a nose,

would you give him a lot of shit? I reckon yes. I'd give him a lot of shit. I wouldn't bring a gun to school

and try and shoot him in the head. If it was in the 1800s, you would have. Yeah. Yeah, okay,

maybe, yeah. Yeah, back when bubble gum was more of a scarce commodity. It's actually quite a historically accurate ice cream.

And this is your argument with the ABC. It's funny and it's educational. If one kid goes and looks up the history of Bubble O' Bill, then we've done our jobs. If we can get Bubble O' Bill in this show, we can officially play this on ABC3. It's

educational for the kids. And so who's the comedian that delivered the line, I'm a dill for a Bubble O' Bill and then ended up getting cut out? No, it's all in there. It's all in there. It's one of the later episodes. Aaron Pedersen and Roz Hammond talk about that. So I love the food at the Melbourne show. Dag with dogs?

No. But the very first thing I went to in the whole Melbourne show was I walked straight for the cheese on toast exhibit, I'd like to say. It's not an exhibit. It's whatever it is. Stand. Stand. Cheese on toast stand.

Cheese on toast? Yes. Why? I love cheese on toast toast So not a cheese sandwich Just cheese on toast No well this is the thing They've changed it this year To cheese sandwich

I rocked up Yeah And it's still two dollars But it's cheese sandwich And it's literally The first thing I go to That is cheap And I feel a bit

I feel a bit stupid But I also enjoy it so much That I don't feel too bad About doing it So I go straight there And there's no way Of doing it yourself at home So you've got to Treat yourself There's only Fle of doing it yourself at home. No, no.

There's only Flemington. That's it. And yet you're at the show as an adult without any kids. So just go for it, mate. Well, here's the thing. You sort of think, oh, well, who's watching? I rock up. I buy my toasted cheese sandwich. There's a guy staring at me next to me.

And he goes, you really do like eating all that shit, don't you? I'm like, who are you? He's like, oh, I listen to Dumb Dumb Club. I'm like, oh, right. We should next year, we should sneak in and set up our own bootleg stand and have a Dumb Dumb Club show bag. What would be in it? I don't know.

Just absolute shit. The page of my script from It's a Date Season 2. Cheese on toast. Chocolate mousse. Chandler's boarding pass to Thailand. Oh yeah, one of the many. We could do up like 200 show bags and still each one gets a unique individual boarding pass. So have you ever bothered to do the – you know how there's like a big oval and they'll have like a stunt show?

They'll have the – Are they still doing that? They still do that. Okay. So at lunchtime you can go and grab your food. Like I literally grabbed my toasted cheese sandwich, went out and sat in front of the rodeo sort of thing. And they've got like their comical rodeo thing. So they've got their routines and it's like, man, does it need a script doctor?

So like Warner Brothers kind of thing. Yeah, Police Academy stunt show. Yeah, exactly. But with like – The Bubble O' Bill stunt show. Yeah, yeah. So they're trying to round up cows and whatever and they've got their little script. They've got jokes and whatever.

And so you're watching it and it's really bad. It's playing really badly and no one's laughing and whatever. And it finishes. It's this insane thing where I'm watching it going and you can't help but go, oh, I'd put a gag in here and I'd probably tighten this bit up and whatever. They got to the climax of it is at the start they've brought out like a big semi-trailer like the thing that they used to drive kit

into the back of or whatever. Yeah, yeah. So that's the centrepiece of the whole thing that they used to drive kit into the back of or whatever. Yeah, yeah. So that's the centrepiece of the whole thing, and they're doing stuff all around there. The showpiece, the ta-da moment of it is they go, oh, what about we round up these cows? And then somehow they make the cows climb onto the top of the semi-trailer.

So there's cows sitting on the top of the semi-trailer just standing there, and they go, well, how are we going to top that? That's it for today, guys. See you later. See you next time. And there's cows standing on the top of a truck and it's like, give it up. And I literally go, yeah, give it up for the cows sitting on top of a truck, everyone.

Bang. These cows are going to die. You know, you think cows are that massive and they've got their spindly little legs and they're forcing it to climb on the top of a semi-trailer? It was insane. I think it's very clever of them to, when they ask, how can we top that,

to make that rhetorical. Because I'm sure there would have been plenty of suggestions. Let the cows down? I also like in the start of the story you said you can't help but sit there and go, well I'd put a gag in there. What gag would you put in for, here are these cows on top of a truck? Make them do a poo?

Yes, there you go. That would be actually perfect if they said how are we going to top this? They'd all do a shit at once. There's a lot of kids there. I'd love that. Every kids film you take them to, there's at least one fart slash shit joke.

The show is a strange mishmash in that way of just pure like kind of, you know, commercial just buy, you know, a bag of this chocolate bar, you know, really heavy kind of brand pushing, just really commercialisation sort of stuff. And then, hey, let's go into this shed and learn some facts about animals. It's like, nah, no thanks. It's a weird thing like to explain it to anyone not from Australia or,

I know Sydney has one but it's like the, it started out as the agricultural show so they bring in animals and stuff and then slowly got commercialised

to rides and carnival. And every state has, it's every state, every state has their agricultural show. And it's massive. When I was doing radio

in Sydney, when we gave away tickets to the Easter show in Sydney, they would just, any concert tickets it would go quickly but concert tickets, it would go quickly. But Easter show tickets, it would fucking fly. It's expensive to get in.

Exactly. It's actually expensive to get in. They reckon that the average person going to the show, family, it's like $300 to $400. Right. Really? Yeah, because it's $36 I sort of get in for an adult. Yeah. And then if you do rides, each ticket for a ride is like what, four bucks or something

And then most rides you need three of those tickets to get on Did you go on any rides? No, I'm not a ride guy No So what did you do? You got a sandwich, you watched some cows get on a truck and then you went home No, I bought other junk food I bought potato chips on a stick Oh yeah you went home. No, I bought other junk food.

I bought potato chips on a stick. Oh, yeah. Had you never had that before? No. That is great, isn't it? It is my new favourite. Yeah. Now, explain that. That's not the one spud broken down into one.

Yeah, it's like a spiral on a stick. Yeah, right, right, right. I've never heard of it. How come everyone's heard of that and I haven't ever heard of it? Because we leave the house more frequently than just once a year to go to the show. No. Sorry, is that the food expo it's new for me

yeah that's what makes you feel like you're not living life we're living life man we're out there doing stuff we're seeing the

potato world around on a stick it's a Heston Blumenthal thing it's really nice no I genuinely it's that bit where I am becoming my parents. When you are young and you just want to see the show bags and stuff like that

and then mum and dad go around and look at the cows and I'm like, oh, boring. I'm the one going around looking at the animals now. I'm into it. I've always kind of liked going to see the animals. What animals do they have though? There's nothing exotic is there? No. They've got llamas and stuff?

I'm happy to go and look at... I think there might be some llamas. There is llamas. Yeah. Then I'd go for that. When I went two years ago, there was a dog show on while I was there, which was awesome. Like it was pugs.

They were trying to pick the best pug, which was... They have dog fights, like Michael Vickster. They should have a cock fighting arena. Just for dads. Just for bored dads. They had a dog show on when I was there, but the great thing was, instead of like professional sheep dogs or whatever, it was like young dogs. Or puppies.

No, no, not quite like, you know, sort of six-month-old Labradors and stuff like that. So they were growing and they were trying to get them to do tricks and whatever, but they clearly, because they were so young, they didn't know how to do them. So they kept having to announce, oh, they're quite young, these dogs, so they're still learning and whatever. And you watch these dogs absolutely balls all these tricks up. And I'm literally sitting there going, this is an open mic dog show. This is what it is.

I had the same thing when I went there. It was like, yeah, people whose dogs were very well trained and then there were owners that you could tell had just been like, ah, no, we'll be right on the day. And the dog is just doing the worst job. They were hopeless. There was 100 people sitting around these hopeless dogs. And it's like 10 minutes in, you could actually see people look at each other

and go, should we go? Is this worth watching at all? You know when you see people with those trained dogs at those things and the dog, they snap their fingers and the dog runs a lap and comes back. It's a little bit – it makes me uncomfortable because it's like, you've done some brutal stuff to that dog to make it register this. Like I don't – yeah, it's just this – but there's a crowd of people there watching and it's like, are we all okay with this?

Is this allowed? Is this being put on in a public forum so how many hours were you there for three three and a half that's a quick trip through this show

how many hours would you be there for Pete with the kids oh yeah we'd be there for five six hours oh really do you go on the rides with the boys

yeah some rides they go on some of them by themselves what's the one that they want to go on that you're like I don't like Mad Mouse?

I'm scared of heights. Yeah, I've done Mad Mouse. I've done, one of my favourite photos is Luna Park in Sydney. I took the boys to Luna Park there and I'm the Mad Mouse there and they take a, it's one of those where they take a photo and the look on my kids' faces, they are shitting their pants. They really are. I fucking love it.

But, yeah, they go on the rides. A couple of years ago, we got invited. The show got in touch with my management and said, there's this restaurant in the middle of the show. It's from the Farmers Association or something like that. Yeah. But you need to be a member or invited there. And they invited us.

So the middle of the day lunch we went and had lunch and it was like a fucking beautiful sit down proper meal we had some wine you know

like beautiful meat and we're like how good is this Bernie Beetle Bernie Beetle's for dessert chuck all the leftover roast beef

into a show bag it was like this like this like this is this is the way to do the fucking show you know like just

because you know walking around so much with the kids it's just like a beautiful little oasis yeah never got invited back I'm like

and we're like why don't we get invited back I've even said to the kids did you guys do anything to you guys who took a shit did anyone take a shit did anyone take a shit

in the sink in the bathroom I'll let you guys go by yourselves at that time. Well, well, well. Look who's a little sad at being left out of something. They didn't even call him back. You get given a lot of shit. When you get given stuff and it's like, this is genuinely awesome.

But the whole family is benefiting from. Yeah, yeah. This is, you know, not just something for me personally, where it's like something where it's like, oh, I can use this but my wife's like, oh, okay, you can enjoy that.

It's hard to go back. Like, yeah, like two years ago when I did ads for the bank and they flew us to London business class and it's like, that is brutal to go back.

Like someone giving you something like that and going, I could never do this again off my own bat is a tough pill to spoil. You were joking, but that would actually be great if from that bit where you were, anything that doesn't get eaten gets put into its own show bag and sold to the plebs.

The doggy bag show bag. Yeah. Doggy bag show bag. Carl wasn't joking. Huh? Carl wasn't joking. And it's labelled with who. It's like, oh, Peter Hellyer's bit of steak that he didn't finish.

Yeah. But it's that weird thing. Like,'s like, oh, Peter Hellyer's bit of steak that he didn't finish. Yeah. But it's that weird thing, like I'm all about the food out there and they have that, you know, like the cake decorating shows and the food and whatever. And it's that weird thing of you go in there and it's all in the glass cabinet or whatever and you go, that looks great. Can I eat some?

No. All right, I'm going now. It's a really weird way of doing it. Did you see many other people like you just walking around like adults without kids? No. There was a lot of – you know what? Did it fully turn you off ever having children? Yeah.

Did the kids shit you? Or are they just all so excited about stuff around you that didn't bother you? No. It was – there was a lot of – you know what? I saw a lot of people, like probably 15, 16-year-olds, and it's clearly like their first time or one of their first times. That great excuse of at school holidays, we don't have to go with our parents officially.

We're allowed to go to the show. So they were like dressed up for like nightclubs. I remember that. I remember getting dressed up, you know, wearing a shirt and stuff to the show. Like it's a day out. So it's like when you went to the city, you wore a shirt. Yeah.

Like it's probably, I don't know if you can buy alcohol out there, but it would probably be a bad idea to do it because there'd be a lot of fake IDs out there I reckon. You know, you can get alcohol out there. Yeah, I think you can. I think one year me and a mate went, this is before I had kids, and we went there kind of thinking, you know, like it'd been so long before we'd gone.

It'd be fun to go to the show. Yeah. And we went and we had a few beers out there. Yeah. That's what really depressed me when I was there. There were parents, like me and my girlfriend went and had a drink in one of the bar bits and there were parents there just getting on it with the kids there going, Dad, I want to go look at the ponies.

Dad's like, I'm going to have one more Jim Beam and cake and then we'll go look at the ponies. It's like, oh, my God. You can just dump your kids outside a pub without having to get on the train and pay $35 to get in. You know what I mean? You've got to be at the show to do that. They've got a direct train line to the show, though.

It doesn't stop anywhere. It goes straight to the show and you're right there and that's the show right there. Whereas there's no train to the airport. How have they done that? Yeah. There's a train that goes to a place that goes for 12 days a year but you can't go to the airport.

Just for that month they should have planes that leave from the show. Yeah. Because that – With cows on top. Yeah. To answer your question, it's probably got to do with the fact there's already a track that goes by the show. There's not a track that goes to the airport.

That's probably the reason. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have built the track just to go to the Royal Melbourne show for those 12 days. Oh, no, the minister at the time, he loved the show. Minister for show bags was probably behind that. That was the first booty beetle. I tell you what, whoever built that track, they're getting invited back to that fancy pavilion

in New York to you, that's for sure. Well, speaking of outings and stuff, this is something that I you know, I maybe thought should just bring up to you in person, Carl, but I thought maybe it'll get more traction if I just bring it up on the show. We were talking a couple of weeks ago about different places we could do a podcast

and like kind of weird places we could do like a live podcast. Yep. And I was thinking the other day... Syria. Yep, good idea. I'm thinking... I'm asking you, but I'm also putting this out to the listeners

to see if people in Melbourne would be into this. What do you reckon, Maryborough bus tour? Oh, look, I like the idea of it. We rent a minibus, we drive out, we record an episode on the bus and we do like a little tour of your hometown and then we come back. I think listeners would be into that. Yeah, look, it's a two and a half hour drive and probably more on the bus

and then it's that thing of, you know, it's that great idea of going, because Mirabar is my hometown, population 8,000 people, and I think you'd go there and go, oh, this is going to be really funny and you'd get there and go, oh, this is just shit. Like there's nothing particularly great there. But we could just drive around And you could you know You could take us to The Kramer reality tour thing

Yes That's what I mean Yeah the Chandler reality tour We fill out a bus We work out how much A bus would cost And we just you know And maybe we have

A couple of friends Of the show come along And we're all on the bus Cracking wires And having a good old day And we stop somewhere And get breakfast I mean lunch

That is a big day You realise First place you got pissed Was at Maryborough Yeah Lose your virgin was at Maryborough yeah lose your virginity in Maryborough no

first hand job your hand job hey come on the tour see this thing sells itself but no it'd be a big day but also I'm saying

to the listeners where was your first hand job that's in the Ballarat reality tour is it a big day, but also I'm saying to the listeners... Where was your first handjob? That's in the Ballarat reality tour. We could do both. We could spin it off. It's on the way. Yeah.

So, yeah, anyone, if you're listening and you would do it, we'd only need, I mean, what's a little minivan thing hold like, what, 20 people or something? We only need 20 people to pay. We've got to be on for a long time. That's a two and a half hour ride there. That's five hours just on the bus without being in Maryborough. But I don't know, but also I don't think that people would want us

to be on for the whole time. They just want to hit Maryborough and you need to be fresh for Maryborough. Yeah. So you know what? You almost need to pick up Chandler in Maryborough. He doesn't need to make the drive. Yeah, yeah, right. You just pick him up and go, there he is.

So what? I'm just driving down 20 of our listeners by myself? Absolutely. I'll drive in a different car alongside the bus. I'll have a driver and I'll just be like. And then the end of the tour is I make you walk up onto the roof of the bus and then we drive home. What a great end of the tour.

Ta-da. And take a dump. And take a dump. And take a dump. And take a dump, yeah. How do you top that? See you, mates. Well, yeah, get in touch

if you're Melbourne-based and I don't know when we do it, sort of summer sometime. Not just Melbourne-based. I mean, I think people are going to travel for this. Yeah, exactly, yeah.

Maybe, yeah, if you live... Well, there are Ballarat listeners at the show so you could actually pick people up on the way. We could pick people up in Ballarat, yeah. Meet you in Marysborough.

Maryborough, not Marysborough. Jesus Christ. Where are you from, Dastla? Where are you? Malvern. We can do a Malvern one as well. Yeah, that's you've got to get yourself there. I'm not hiring a bus to drive you.

You can buy Mikey's for everyone. Oh, okay, yeah. We can get a friend of the show, Nick Mason, to get a tram for us down there. Tram driver friend. Could you do that? Because like the restaurant tram, could you hire out, would there be corporate trams?

Could you hire out your own tram? I wouldn't have thought so. If the price was right, you could. But, you know, like I'm sure like radio stations and stuff have done gigs on trams. Didn't Nova do a thing a little while ago where they had people doing gigs on trams? Yeah, they shot some ads on the trams. Didn't Nova do a thing a little while ago where they had people doing gigs on trams?

Yeah, they shot some ads on the trams as well. You guys did a gig for Jetstar on a plane. Yeah. So presumably if you can hire a plane to do a gig,

you can do a tram. We had to hijack that plane. Oh, okay. Well, guys, I think that's just about all the time we have for the Little Dumb Dumb Club this week.

Adam Rosenbach, Peter Hellyer, thank you very much for joining us. Thanks, guys. Appreciate having us. So It's A Date Season 2 October.

Thursday, October 16 on the ABC1 following Upper Middle Bogan at 9 o'clock. So Upper Middle Bogan at 8.30. It's a date at 9 o'clock. Awesome.

The same bracket that you had with the last season? Yeah. So first episode stars Kat Stewart, Roy Billing, Celia Bacquola,

Matt O'Kine, Lawrence Mooney, Tommy Little, myself, Lisa McCune. It's all packed. There's a lot of people in there. The ghost of Tommy Dasolo. And yeah, watch for the scene. See if you can see the edit.

Yeah. In front of you, see Tommy walking in and just cut it. Watch that scene and just know that I'm standing feet away from the camera when it's on. You can probably see a bit of my shadow cast over some of the actors. And where's Rosie? What episode's Adam Rosenbach's?

It's an episode. Later on, it's episode nine. It's with Roz Hammond and Aaron Pedersen and Vince Colosimo and Brody Carter. It's one of my favourites. Is that still being edited or is that in the can? It's all been done. I'm in it, mate.

The book ends, buddy. Well, if you listen to this in 2016, hopefully Peter Hellyer has stayed true to his word and I will be in season three of It's A Date starting October the 25th. When are you heading off, Chandler? I'll let you know.

Guys, we've got our Perth live show coming up on Sunday, November the 2nd at Rosie O'Grady's. And we're also doing a Sydney live show on Sunday, November the 30th at 7.30pm at the Cafe Lounge. Tickets for both of those are on sale now, littledumbdumbclub.com

and we're also going to have a live Melbourne one coming up. Both selling very well, so get on it. Yeah, and also, yeah, let us know the bus tour.

Quite seriously, if you're into it, hit us up. Please, or, you know, your other opportunities, please let this be

officially the millionth idea that Tommy Daslow has brought up on the podcast and not followed up in one way whatsoever. Yeah, so get on to us, please. Prove me wrong, guys. Prove me wrong. You've got your – you're doing your solo show in Melbourne?

Oh, yeah, I'm doing a solo show. I'm doing a one-off performance of Carl Chandler's Got Talent. I'm doing that in Melbourne as a warm-up before we go to Perth. So I'm rapidly trying to figure out what the date of that is.

It is Thursday, October the 23rd at 7pm if you're in Melbourne at Five Boroughs Bar just before the normal Five Boroughs comedy that's on

every Thursday night. Great. Well, thanks very much for listening guys and we'll see you next time. See you, mate. It's always your

first hand job