The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 220 - Tommy Little & Adam Rozenbachs

Episode Date: December 24, 2014

Tommy's Notches, Dum Dum Homebrew and Chandler's Dance.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey mates, welcome once again into the little dum-dum club for another week. My name is Tommy Dasolo. Sitting opposite my bed is the other half of the show, Carl Chandler. G'day, genuine dickhead. We are broadcasting live. We've been doing a lot of live shows lately. We went from the Cafe Lounge in Sydney. We were at Five Burrows in Melbourne.

We were at Rosie O'Grady's in Perth. The Taj Mahal. Yes. That was a good one. Yeah, that was in India. Was that in India? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good, good, good.

For narrowing that one down. Well, yeah, that's one of the modern wonders of the world, the Taj Mahal, isn't it? And I think one of the other ones we're in right now, Tommy Daslow's bedroom. North Fitzroy. The Australia's Museum of Come. of the world, the Taj Mahal, isn't it? And I think one of the other ones we're in right now, Tommy Daslow's bedroom. North Fitzroy. The Australia's Museum of Cum.

Hey, don't give yourself too much shit before we can. Yeah, yeah. I just, the best defence is a good offence. I was furious the mics weren't on earlier. Yeah. Because when I found out what was going on. That voice is Tommy Little, by the way. Welcome back.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'd love to say it's nice to be here, but it's fucking not. Also joining us today, Adam Rosenbach. Welcome back. Thank you, thank you. And what I love is that Tommy Little, you said, you chose a seat the furthest from Dasolo's bed, but you have chosen closest to his underwear rack,

which you are not aware of. No, but that's the clean underwear rack. That's the underwear that's been washed that's ready to go. Who washes it? Me. Just you? Just me. Who else would be washing it? Is it a two-man job?

I don't know. You seem to have the Mary Creekness with rocks smashing it up. I wouldn't put a pass on me to be bringing his washing back to mum and dad, though. No, I wouldn't either. I'm actually going back there tomorrow so it's not a bad idea. I should do that. Merry Christmas, mum. Here's my dirty jocks.

It's just what you've always wanted. It's not carbon tax so get stuck into this. Well, you did mention live episodes so we've cracked a window in here for the benefit of you guys. Well, we've cracked a window for many reasons. Why are we in your bedroom? Well, because I have housemates and we're doing this at a time when they're probably going to come in from work at a certain point

and I just felt like it's pretty uncool to just be podcasting in a communal area of the house. And you're right because it's totally cool. Poor adults. Thank God the door's not open because chicks would be rushing in here. But we were saying before, so now it's like we've got the door closed and so when they do come in, there's just going to be the sound of four dudes coming from my bedroom.

Let's paint a picture of what it's like in here. We've got the – Tommy's currently sitting on his Bratz Doona cover. Yeah. I like the troll doll collection in the corner. That's one of my favourite features the 30 seconds to Mars posters

are all around multiple 30 seconds to Mars posters I like all the notches on the bed post of the women he hasn't slept with there's actually

no bed post how many chicks did you go to school with the couple of times I have had sex I've had to sort of fill in one of the notches. That's a long conversation.

Oh, that's a bedpost. I thought that was just two matchsticks. Sorry. Did you bring the Selly's all seal? That's the biggest dream catcher I've ever seen. Mate, because I dream big. I know. There's big aspirations and hopes in there.

Yeah, either you've been shitting on the floor and covering it with wood shavings or that's a lot of notches in them bedposts. But in all seriousness, Tommy, look right behind you. See there? What's that on the ground? Ooh. Yeah.

The big ring's here. Who's getting his summer body in order? This is, you've pointed out a weight here. A pristine dumbbell. Good to see there's one. Why work out both sides of your body when you can do it? So you share a room with Lou Ferrigno Is that actually what's happening?

Yes, we bunk in here together Hey Tommy, how much does that weigh? Let's just put this into perspective How much does Lou's lifting these days? I've never picked it up I can't get it off the ground It is one notch above One of the coloured weights

You know the women's coloured ones That you walk with? It's actually just a bar with a couple of balloons on it to make it a bit lighter. Yeah, we're going to have to wrap this up soon

because the girls from the spin class are coming in. Soul cycle's kicking off. And also, yeah, there's over there, there's a dirty laundry hamper

which is overflowing at the moment. Probably will need to take that round to mum actually. But you know what, in terms of a single- How often do you do your washing? Maybe like once a week but it depends.

Like if the weather's really bad because we don't have a dryer at the moment, sometimes I'll take a bit longer because it's like if it's a sunny day- By the way, this is classic radio stuff. How often do you wash your sheets? Give us a call. Ring in if you're a dirty cunt. That in behind the curtain. That's the difference.

I meant it. You took the velvet off the stage hammer and just went for it. I podcasted it down. This discussion would have turned into like a promo of you going around to someone's house and doing their laundry for them. Because that's what radio is, the Nappy Sam Challenge. Hooking up an OB in the laundromat. But no, I feel like this isn't too bad.

I mean, I'm capable of, I've had way messier than this. Yeah, I was going to say, speaking of the subject of how often you do your laundry, because when we last went to America, you bought the biggest bag. See, they can't resist. That's what makes it radio gold. You can give it shit, but you come back biggest bag. See, they can't resist. That's what makes it Radio Gold. You can give it shit, but you come back to it. When we went to America, you bought the biggest bag and you didn't do your laundry.

And you just kept buying new clothes to wear. And then you kept stuffing them in your bag. And I've never seen a bag as full as that that someone was travelling with. It got so full that the wheels broke off. The wheels did break off. The handle broke off it.

Oh, really? And then my flight home was like four separate connecting flights on every one of which I got charged an excess baggage fee. Was there an ODA fee? My excess baggage fee was more than the actual cost of the flight by the time I got home. Is this or is this not one of the trips which you still owe Rosie money from? Oh, yes.

No, I paid you back. No, you didn't. Oh, no. I paid you back. Welcome to the intervention in your own room. Dumb Dumb Club's just been building up to this for four years. Wow, let me get the net bank out. Is that for real?

It's very real. Oh, wow. Okay, let's talk about this. Don't joke about getting net. No, no. Let's talk about this now. You do have NetBank on your phone, don't you? Yeah.

Let's actually get the NetBank in now. Because for people playing at home, Carl Chandler, what length did you have to go to to get this man, Tommy Dussall, to pay you back money? Oh, it was quite a bit. I think I asked him a long time for money, for the same thing, for what you owed me. Yeah.

I think it went a year or – For what, though? And just for the same thing, accommodation in America. You owed me money as well and we worked that out. Oh, did I? You did. How did I owe you money? You owed me money from tickets for this.

You definitely did. I worked it out and I said – Tommy's going to charge me a hell of a lot to do the podcast. It's all even now. So to clean it up, to see just how nitpicky maybe I'm being, how long ago was this? When were we there? 2011?

November 2011? That's a long time. 2012. It's still a long time. Did he lend you money at the World Trade Centre? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Had Sydney yet hosted the Olympics? And how much are we talking?

Well, I have no idea because I hired the two-bedroom apartment and you came and stayed with me when we were in the Lower East Side. Yeah. So it's about, I don't know, it was for like about half of the time we were there. Yeah, it was like four nights, five nights or something. That you were there? Yeah, because I was there for like two weeks. What are we talking?

Keeping in mind the Christmas spirit, what are we talking? It'll be about $500 or $600, I think. Okay. Are you happy to make that $500? Given that it's the Christmas spirit and paying that back, I've gotten you one of those UNICEF goats. It's a sustainable gift. You don't need the money.

You don't need material possessions. And it's a platinum one. Hang on. Does Rosie have to pay for the hotel room for the ghost? I'm going to pay for a dub key. I'm very sorry about that. That had completely slipped my mind. Well, I noticed you say you're sorry about it,

but you're not reaching for your phone, which is less than a metre away. It's good to know that this has gotten around behind my back without me noticing that. No, no. This is right in front of you. Yeah, okay. It is now.

I think I did tell you once, like maybe within the year afterwards, that you're still over here, but I never got it back and I was just like, oh, well. Yeah. I'm one of those people that doesn't want to bring up. This is a group on Facebook. Yeah. I left the hood but got into this group. Oh, the hood reference on our podcast.

That's good. That's very professional. Has it been a while? I like that a lot. It's right there, mate. It is right there. People won't be disappointed if you don't pay him right now. You can see that happen on the podcast.

I'll do it later. What's the difference? Why when he leaves? I just podcast. I'll do it later. What's the difference? Why when he leaves? I just don't want to do it now. What if I came to your parents' place and just took things of value? I prefer that a lot. They've got a framed signed Blue Heelers T-shirt that they're trying to get rid of.

That'll knock $25 off the $600. $25? Wow. Jesus. Have they ever done a plasma TV yet? Are they still going with a fat back? No, haven't done a plasma TV yet or are they still going with a fat back? No, they've got a plasma

but it's like a little plasma. A little one. Yeah, a little one. It's a car. It's the old man rolling. Oh, my dad's been, my dad's like got a Rolls Royce that he's built from scratch

that's taken him like 20 years to build. That's $500. Yeah. Is that, if someone said to me, It's not auto, is it? I don't want an auto.

If someone said to me, I built a Rolls Royce, I would say that's not a Rolls Royce. Unless Mr Rolls or Mr Royce said that to me. That's my real last name is Tommy Royce. Oh, really? Yeah. And my mum is Miss Rolls. And they fucked and that's how it came out.

Oh, Tommy's calling himself a Rolls Royce again. He's killing it. I am. I'm the Rolls Royce of dumb cunts as we've established. Are you the white ghost or whatever they call the Rolls Royces? Oh, the silver ghost? The white ghost. Is that what it's called?

No, I think it is the silver ghost. Or is that what you call your spoof? Yes, the white ghost is. Ooh. If we get a UV light out on this bed, it's going to be a very spooky episode. We just see it all over the bed and then there's a trail of you leading up there. And then out the window, up the wall. Hey, can we crack open these, please?

Yes. So what's the story? So a listener of the show a couple of months ago, Brett Blackshaw, a listener from Perth, hit us up and tell us that he has started homebrewing and that he was going to make a special dum-dum edition of his homebrew. So he's recently sent us... Oh, so great.

This has definitely got no stranger spoof in it. Great. Yeah. He's sent us two. He's made one for me, a Dasselos Kolsch, which you might be able to see on the little label he's made up. There's a little Photoshopped image of me as kind of a German frow line, kind of holding a few mugs of ale.

Steins, mate. Steins. Dasselos Kolsch, a German ale which is pale in colour, goes a treat with a cheap lunch, and this is 5% alcohol. Which someone else is paying for and you won't pay them back. So mine is Chando's Chocolate and Raspberry Porter and my head's stuck on the Nando's chicken. Chocolate and Raspberry Porter, insert wanky flavour description here.

Not quite mousse flavoured but can still be enjoyed with the use of car keys. 5.5% alcohol. But what I like is they've stuck this, you stuck this in an old like Portello plastic 600 mil. I think that's what your bottle stuff in. Now, remember they brought out Carlton Cold in the plastic bottles for about like a year or so. It was also when they did Carlton Shots.

Carlton Shots? Do you remember this? No. It was Carlton Cold with a vodka shot in it. And it was a similar thing. I think it was hand in hand because they went, people will fucking glass people with carton shots. So let's make them plastic.

So they brought out carton coals in plastic for about six months. It just didn't work because people went, this is terrible. Why are we doing this? Because it would just warm up super quick. This is Portello that you're pouring out here, isn't it? It's a porter. A porter's quite dark. Oh, right.

Yeah, like your heart channel. Oh. Hey, can we repeat what you said before very calmly? And not even for the room. It was more to yourself. And you just calmly said, I don't think I'm going to buy anyone Christmas presents this year. And then just kind of wrung your hands together like a schemer.

And then smoked a $50 note. Now we know the truth of that statement is he can't afford them because I still owe him money from a lunch six years ago. Can you buy my – Your phone is just there. It hasn't moved. You know what? I'll just take the phone.

It's a iPhone 6. All right, so what have we got here? Cheers. Merry Christmas. So I'm trying take the phone. It's a iPhone 6. All right, so what have we got here? Cheers. Merry Christmas. So we've got some glasses as well. So I'm trying the German one. Don't clink your glasses right over the mixer. That's very full.

They could have gone haywire. What's the mixer worth? Oh, this could stop right now. Welcome to the little Rosie Club. Oh, that's good. This one's delicious. I'm drinking the German one. That's really. This one's delicious. I'm drinking the German one. That's really nice.

Okay, so we've got the chander. Yeah, should we do a swap over? No. Okay. I'm just going to look on your plate. I just don't want to bring up the concept of swapping liquids in this bedroom. That's what we've been talking about. Not again.

Oh, God. It is very chocolate and raspberry. Yeah. Is it? Yeah, it really is. Yeah, I want to try it. Okay, what. It is very chocolate and raspberry. Yeah. Is it? Yeah, it really is. Yeah, I want to try it. Okay, what now? I feel like we all drink all of this beer and then by the end of the podcast,

we're just doing it, the four of us, under the covers of the bed together. We just go crazy in here. Oh, yeah. We'll never put this episode to air, but we'll be together. Wow, that's really full on. Jeez, that's good. Blackers has done a fucking good job because I made homebrew when I was young and it was shit.

It was so shit. To save money or just because you thought it would be cool? Yes, I couldn't afford beer. Yeah, yeah. Oh, really? My parents actually bought me a kit for Christmas. Yeah. Is that the main reason to do it?

Because I know some people get really into the art of it And being able to create their own one I was young I couldn't legally buy beer or afford beer But you could buy a beer making kit Well my folks We tell you to badge the scouts So what are you making?

What do you brew it in? Like a bathtub? No that's what the kit is. Oh, right. Oh, it's got all the stuff in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some bootlegging hooch. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a prohibition. Yeah, Gwyn Little grew up in the 20s with Al Capone. Until Dick Tracy shut him down, his beers were going great. I think it has kind of turned into a bit of a speakeasy, hasn't it? If my housemates come in, tell them this is my book club. Put your beers away. But I often wonder that. I've been running sort of comedy venues and stuff like that

and I always think, what if you just did do a comedy gig like in someone's bedroom and just could you – how far along do you reckon it would take to get done for selling people beer in your house? I did a big gallery when we were young where we sold people beer. Yeah, right. Like in a big warehouse and there was maybe 300 or 400 people there and, yeah, because we looked into getting a liquor license.

It was ridiculous and hard. And we're like, what are the chances? Like I've never seen a bloke walking around. How did you get people there? Or was it just like a Facebook thing? Mates, mates, yeah, all that. And it was get people there? Or was it just like a Facebook thing? Mates, mates. Yeah. Yeah.

All that. And it was one night, so it was one night like a party gallery thing. And yeah. What was it? Charge people to get in, which galleries never did. Yeah.

It was in an old warehouse. And maybe this is how I can make back that money I owe Rosie. Just put on a little gallery opening tonight. Yeah. You've got a few pictures in here. This could be a gallery. Yeah. You've got those 30 seconds to here. This could be a gallery. You've got those

30 Seconds to Mars posters. And again, just turn on the blacklight and it's an installation. It's like, welcome to the work of Jackson Pollock. The early years. When he was 50. But I feel like you're right, like that thing, like everywhere, like there's a lot of warehouse parties in this area, like North Fitzroy,

and like every party I've ever been to in this area, when they're selling beer, it's like, this isn't right. Like this hasn't been sanctioned by anyone. There's no licence. Have you ever, you guys stayed or lived in London before? Have you stayed for any amount of time in London? Yeah, yeah. So did you go to, amount of time in London? Yeah, yeah. So did you go to...

Is it called The Church? Yeah. The renowned nightclub? I've been to The Church. You've been to The Church? Yeah, yeah. You get drinks and you put them on your belt. Yeah, in plastic bags.

And the ground is covered in sawdust. Exactly. Because people munt on them. Yeah, yeah. It's much like Tesla's room. Go back to the start. You put bags in plastic... Sorry, you've got...

On your belt. You've got balls. Establish it. So I think it travels around to like abandoned derelict warehouses or whatever. And it's like this sort of Australian, New Zealand, South African nightclub. Good. As in, you know what? Neither of those work because it's not a club and they don't even have it at night. They have it at like three in the afternoon and people go in and get it.

That's why it's called a church. On a Sunday. Okay. Oh, right. But I think it's even earlier. I remember I think it maybe ends at three. Yeah, yeah. Maybe it's only like three in the afternoon and people go in. That's why it's called the church, on a Sunday. Okay. Oh, right. But I think it's even earlier. I remember I think it maybe ends at three. Yeah, yeah. Maybe it's only like three hours of power and you only get a certain,

maybe you get four drinks and that's it or something. Yeah, yeah. But everyone's blind. Yes, yeah. They've usually been out all night the night before. Yeah. It's mayhem. It's chaos.

Like I remember going in there and that classic thing when you're travelling and it's like, oh, what do you want to see in London? Other Australians spewing? All right, let all right let's go let's do it so you go there and it was just the worst way to drink you get yeah a plastic bag full of beers you tie it to your belt and walk around going oh yeah you got some beers on your belt too mate cool all right and then chanel says it was the worst way to drink i fucking loved it i was like why do't do everything like this. Yeah, but then it's like a night

club, so it's all guys and girls, and then all of a sudden at the end they go, anyway, here's the strippers, and half the population of the place goes, oh, we weren't here for this. And then there's just female strippers going crazy. I don't remember that. Just when you think it couldn't get any better. You didn't need too many bags of beers.

Why the bag? Is that just easier? It's just easy. Yeah. It was just – honestly, I think it was like a condemned warehouse. They just go, don't say anything. So you've actually been to one? Yes.

And how old are you when you went? 48. 28? 28. Okay. And how old were you when you went? 12. Just after you? Okay. Yeah. And how old were you when you went? 12. Just after you made the home brew.

You were selling it in there. I had to leave the country because there was a bit of heat about my bootlegging home brew. You fucked it up. You're trying to sell it out of canvas bags. No, this isn't the vibe. Bullshit. This isn't the vibe at all.

Well, I should say this quickly about the beer. So Brett's posted them out to me and so I wasn't here. I got a little slip from the post office where I had to go pick it up from. First of all, I had to go pick it up from the North Fitzroy post office, which, Rosie, you'll be familiar with. You live in this area. It's hell. It's like the faulty towers of post offices.

So hilarious and on Channel 7 every second week? Yeah. Disappointingly short series. Yeah. You're stuck in there. They've got no idea. It's run by, gonna sound racist, just two old Vietnamese people who just have no fucking idea where anything is.

So they're a family. They are a family. And they're always fighting. They're always squabbling with each other about stuff not connected to the post office. There's a lot more racist way to say that. True. Like, you chose the least racist. Thank you, mate.

And technically correct description. Has political correctness gone mad if you ask me? My one power t-shirt undoes all that. They asked for it. You're sitting there saying that with the Confederate flag that I have hanging right behind you as well. And also too, I sit here

saying that not having to have been in there for a few months. You forget. You try and put it behind you you repress a lot of memories. So it's renowned as maybe the worst post office in Australia if you get some time, look it up on Google and find the reviews. No it's not, it's just in a suburb where everyone has a block

Yeah, yeah. Oh North Fitzroy, it's that bad? Fucking no it's not. Well the review, like it's one of those things where there's a site where people... I know, because everyone in this suburb has a blog. You wouldn't know, man. You haven't been there. No, it's just because people in Sunshine don't feel the need to vent their problems on the

internet. That's because they've sold their computers to us. That's because they stabbed the post office general and then a new one comes in. Solve the problem like a man. Shank the cunt and move on. My favourite complaint that's on the internet about the North East Road Post Office, this sums them up beautifully. Someone telling a story about

how they'd gone in there to pick up a vinyl that had been delivered to them. They go, yeah, here it is. It's a vinyl. It's a record. The woman just keeps going in and picking up packages that obviously are not a vinyl. Different shape. Is it this? No. vinyl, like different shape. Is it this? No.

Is it this? No. Is it this? No. Does this like eight times and then the guy goes, sorry, but do you actually know what a vinyl is? And she cracks the shits and goes, yes, I know what a fucking vinyl is and then goes and grabs.

Classic Vietnamese accent. That's racist. Goes and grabs something that's obviously a soccer ball and goes, is it this? So that's kind of typical them. So I go in there. Yeah. Well, do you ever think maybe that the joke is the other way?

A little bit about that. A little bit about that. That's hilarious. If you've got some hipster asshole that's got a record that's been posted to them. No, they're not clever enough. The Vietnamese. There it is. There's that racism

we were promised all those years ago. I don't know how they won. I don't know how you got your job writing for Lonely Planet. That's how they won the war. Can you tell us where your general is? What's a general? Is this a general? It's a fucking soccer ball. Fuck.

Where's Charlie? Charlie Brown? Charlie Pickering? Yes. Yeah, I do. Like the more I go, because I used to hate it and it used to be, like it used to just drive me insane. And then I just went, I've got to start enjoying this

and appreciating it for what it is. Because it's hilarious. Because it's going to give me a heart attack. I can't do it. Because you're always in there forever. So I go in with this slip. The guy behind the counter picks a fight with the woman in front of me. I go in and Brett, God bless him, he's addressed it to Tommy Dasolo.

So the slip that I get, it just says Dasolo on it. And I go, well, this is going to be interesting. So I hand it over and the guy goes, can I have some ID? And I give him my ID and I go, now look. Now which says Thomas Alsop? Thomas Alsop, right? And I go, so the name on the slip's different to this. It's just a guy.

You shouldn't have even bothered going in there. That's such a nightmare to begin with. You fuck with their minds now. Yeah, and the guy also was like. But you've gone, that's just my stage name for my podcast, which would have got you across the line. Which I do in my bedroom. I don't want people harassing me in the street.

First of all, he cracks the shits because he's like, oh, I was just about to send you a notice about it because it would take me a couple of weeks to get around to going in there. Tommy, Tommy, Tommy. I know. It's like I want money or something. Are we that in these guys' trouble? Are we drinking old beer?

Yes. Jesus. What have you been doing for a couple of weeks? Yeah, not much. I have two questions. What have we been doing for a couple of weeks

and why weren't you home in the first place? Yeah, I don't know. I was just, yeah, I don't know. Okay. Yeah. Now, we heard the bell. He wasn't getting out of bed.

Yeah. At midday, fuck you, mate. Yeah, yeah. I don't get out of bed for less than three bottles of homemade beer, so. Knock getting out of bed. Yeah, at midday. Fuck you, mate. I don't get out of bed for less than three bottles of homemade beer. Knock, knock, knock. This is probably Rosie or Chandler after that money. I'm going to pretend I'm not here.

So anyway, so then, because, you know, I've got the same address on my licence that's on the thing, so he goes, oh, the address stacks up, and then he kind of looks at the... It stacks up. He kind of hides the label from me and he goes, okay, well, where's the sender from? Vietnamese Columbo is on it again.

Which is Carumbo. Ho Chi Miss Marple. That's something. That's better than mine. I think the last line of the story is – I've been debating this in my head. I think the last line of the story is funnier with the accent. Do it.

Anything is funny. After you just said that carumbo thing, you can do whatever you want. But then he goes, so then he's like, what's the name of the guy who sent it to you? And I say his name, which luckily I remembered off the top of my head. And so I'm like, I've got the same address, I've got all those. I'm clear to go, right?

And then he's looking at the label and he sees something and he clearly just to fuck with me he goes, what's the name of your club? And I go, it takes me a couple of seconds. I'm like, what? And he goes, you know, your club. What is the name of your club? No, this is the young guy.

The son, okay. The young guy. And I go, and also let's point out, there's like 20 people in there in line. So this has a full audience, right? Yep. And so he says that and I go, the little dum-dum club. And he goes, yes! And hands the box over.

And so then I just have to walk with this huge box through the post office with people just looking at me going, what the fuck was that? Why is it so huge? It was two bottles of beer. No, there's more in there. There's more in the kitchen. Oh, really? Yeah.

Do you want more? I can go get more. Old Desolo trick. He's already sold those beers off. I didn't think we were going to get through two full six packs of beer. Can I just point out that Chando is not chowing down on the Chando. Oh, no, I am. Sorry, sorry.

I didn't actually notice you guys fully going for it. Yeah, yeah. Should I go get more? Well, I mean, Rosie's trying to drink $500 worth, so you probably should, mate. Go and get a plastic bag. Hey, hang on. Before you go, do you know what else you could get?

Yeah. Your phone, which is just there, mate. It is just there. It's a metre away. I'm going to take this with me now. Get 500 bucks, stick it in an envelope, send it to the North Fitzroy Post Office, make Rosie earn it.

I'm going to get more beer. All right, you get more beer. We'll continue on. We'll find out what... Interrogate Chandler. Why don't you like Christmas? Why do you hate... No, I don't...

No. Wouldn't you be more surprised if you loved it, though? Absolutely, yeah. It wouldn't make sense. So unfair. No, no, no. It's not, I don't. No. Wouldn't you be more surprised if you loved it, though? Absolutely, yeah. It wouldn't make sense. So unfair. No, no, no. It's not that I hate Christmas. I just haven't bought anything and I sort of think –

You know what? I don't see my brother. No. Whoa. Yeah, I don't know why. You will. You're going to get it or something. Come on, dude.

What do you mean? Of course you should. I better. Let's just look around. Let's look around Dasolo's room. Yeah. Here we go. Here we go. Yeah. Let's look around Dassolo's room. Yeah. Here we go. Here we go.

Yeah, I was going to find something good in here. You're the bravest man I know. If you think you can wake up Christmas morning with no present for your girlfriend. I haven't thought this through, have I? No. Yeah. Especially when you're already, like, batting above your average. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. It's fine to be an asshole if you're not. But you've got to do everything you can to hold on. That's fair. That's very fair. All right, tomorrow. Yeah, I like Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve. It's just the survival of the fittest.

Is that what you're going to actually do? Are you going to go tomorrow? Well, seeing as that's the only day between now and tonight. So you haven't got it done? It's 24-hour tonight, isn't it? Can't you? I won't. No, I won't be doing that.

I won't be doing that. I won't be doing that. Not after you get through a few more Dassault's Couch. Oh, yeah. My dad doesn't do Christmas presents. He just, like as a family, we did boil down to Kris Kringle and my dad just said not doing it, not involved. So he just sits here and watches everyone else unwrap presents and he just doesn't want to borrow it.

I kind of love it. Really? Yeah, he just refuses. He's like, no, I don't believe in that book. You know what? I reckon I get a little bit. I don't believe in it. Which is like, well, of course you don't believe in the result

that is the easiest for you. Yeah, yeah. And it's also he's old enough to just go, I'm going to be the grumpy prick. I'm playing my role. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I kind of feel, I think, against presents a little bit because I just don't want anything. Like I can get what I want.

So I feel like going to people. Oh, here we go. Yeah. Tommy and I got you something. Don't worry about that. Man, how did you afford it? Here's the thing I've been talking about with people recently. I've been fascinated with people's different approaches

to showing dislike for a present. Like I was talking to someone the other day who was literally like, if they don't like something, they'll just say it. Yeah, I'm not invited. They don't care who it is, they'll just go, nah, not for me. I'm that guy in my friendship group. I think when we do our KK, people hate getting me because once I got a shirt and I was like, nah, I don't like it.

Can I take it back? Why? Why would you do that? Because I didn't like it. I'm aware. I didn't think you were lying Rosie, why the dishonesty? He doesn't mean this unless he says the exact same sentence twice So let's try him out

I mean, they've obviously got it for you because they've gone I think he will like it So shouldn't you just say, great But then what happens is it just sits there So I figured I might as well change it and get something that I do like And then everyone's Did you just say you fingered instead figured I might as well change it and get something that I do like and then everyone's – Did you just say you fingered instead of you figured? I feel like you did.

Anyway, go on. No, I just figured. Yeah. Figured. Yeah. That I would tell them that I didn't like it and that way we can all come to a conclusion where I'm happy. And did that happen at all?

Yeah. I changed it. I just think – but how much was the shirt? Yeah, probably wasn't that much Probably 40 bucks Right Probably So you've gone

I'm happy to put a price tag On upsetting my friend And it's 40 dollars Yeah Don't worry I've done it for heaps less I remember when I was a kid Where I got the idea

Of going You know what I'm going to do this year I'm going to Get these presents And I'm going to put them Under the tree And they're never going to guess What they are

Instead of that thing of You know Like you said You know the vinyl You're going to guess What a and I'm going to put them under the tree and they're never going to guess what they are. Instead of that thing of, you know, like you said, you know, the vinyl, you're going to guess what a vinyl record is because there's not much where you can guess it up. Oh, you put it in a different box or something? Yeah, put it in a different box, put stuff sticking out the side, you know, like made it this insane thing. Insane thing. So no one, you know, like sprayed it with deodorant so it smelled like this

and then put marbles in it and then put a sponge on one side. Yeah, because I know I'm sniffing presents. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I took all the senses out of the equation. Like no one could nail it. Our son bought us a deodorant and a sponge. Happy Christmas. Oh, no, you've out-thought six-year-old me.

Well done, Daslo. I don't know how you turn this around to you not being the fuckhead, but it's very good. It's like watching a magician at the heart of his powers. Wow. Yeah. Somehow Chandler wasn't a fuckhead. He's the one spraying his presents with deodorant.

Look, guys, I don't mean to boast, but that was the greatest conquest that has ever happened in this bedroom. So anyway, my brother opens up his present on christmas morning and he and it's like it's like a book but i've stuck it in some huge box with uh like including a big jar full of coins so if he rattled it he would hear all these coins so he's just gone great a jar of coins and i'm going oh no i want that back he's like but that's better than the present than the book i'm like yeah but that was just to put you off For the last two days

There's more evidence for the How come Chandler and his brother Don't speak anymore Yeah He's getting gifts And then taking them back Yeah He's doing the same intervention

He wants to do the same intervention with me I own $500 worth of coins What about this So we're coming up to New Year's Eve Tommy Little You're going away? Going away? Yes, I am. You're going to one of the most popular holiday destinations in the world, Hawaii?

Yes. Correct? Yes. How many days? Like a week. A week. By yourself? With someone else?

Oh, there's a bit of curl in the corners of your mouth there. What's happening there? No, I'm not going away by myself for New Year's Eve. Okay. So you must be going with someone else. Who are you going with? Quite frankly, I am above that. Have you been to Hawaii before?

No, I haven't and I don't know anything about it. That could be great. Yeah. Anyway, back onto who you're going with. Yes. Tommy Little. I'm going with one of my best mates and his missus and a girl that I've started dating.

Oh, so you've got a girlfriend? I don't know. I'm not sure. Oh, really? But she's great. Yep. And she's gorgeous and she's, yep, good. And would we know her?

Put this on your showreel, Chandler, because this is some fucking dynamite out there. I can't tell at the moment if he's good cop, bad cop or hot cop because, fuck, at the moment he's all three for me. So the girl you're seeing, would we know her if we've watched TV before? Would we know – would she have appeared on any TV shows before? I mean, you're asking me questions that you know the answers to. That's it.

Now, that is a classic move. Here's some rope, buddy. Do with that what you will. So that is a classic move. Here's some rope, buddy. Do with that what you will. So that's a yes. So we would know her if we've watched. I'll tell you what, Tommy, I'll cut you a deal. You pay back what I owe Rosie right now.

I get this off the podcast immediately. No, no, this bit's fine. So, some of you are saying that you're not sure if it's your girlfriend yet. Yes. You've been seeing her for what, weeks, months? It's been, yeah, maybe a couple of months. And so she's involved in the media, you would say, in some form? Was.

Was, was involved. So she was on a TV show. Why don't you just say it, mate? Because I can't remember if it's true I don't know her name at all Yes I just know her as some chick off the telly Yes Yes

Is that why your computer's open? Are you trying to Google it? No, no, I'm not I'm not But I wish I had had that idea She was a contestant on Family Feud Hang on Hang on

It's Denya It's Denya I It's Denya. Hang on. I'm Googling it. I'm Googling it. Chick from The Bachelor. That'll narrow it down. Oh, it's Andrew G.

Look, is this – so you're seeing a girl that was on The Bachelor. Yes. And she's obviously a lovely young lady, but I am blown away. I don't know – Are you excited? Yes, I'm excited. That's the word I was looking for. Right blown away. I don't know. Are you excited? Yes, I'm excited. That's the word I was looking for. It's genuine excitement.

Even though, you know what, this is, I guess, the bizarre thing because, you know, when I first met you, you just started comedy, but now you're a legitimate celebrity. But because you're seeing – I think that's excessive. Let's say that. Because you're going out – But just so you listen, no, I don't agree. Yes, sure, sure. Let's say that. Because you're going out. But just so you listeners know, I don't agree.

Yes, sure. Sure. I'm saying it. Yeah. Because there's nothing that makes you sound like him. Yeah. I know, no. No, but they definitely.

I'm not saying A grade. I'm the person. You know what? I'm the person. They definitely get randoms that no one's heard of hosting the project all the time and doing breakfast radio. So that's fine. Whoever's at the front door first at Nova, they just go, you're on brekkies.

Can you tell the boys what she heard outside the pub one night when we finished up at the races? Oh, really? Yeah. Until the boys. We've been to the races. Which is so much more offensive than any of that other stuff before. We were at the pub after the races and it was me and Rosie,

about eight boys maybe in there, and she was coming to meet us and she called me from outside the pub and she's like, hey, I'm okay. And she goes, hey, I'm outside. Oh, good, good. She goes, should I be concerned? And I'm like, why? She goes, because I've just heard about ten blokes chanting,

give her a rose. Give her a rose. Give her a rose. It was a really good intro to my mates because then she came in. So that was your mates that were saying that? Yeah, it was these boys. Yeah, right. And then she came in and she had Haydo accost her. Who's Haydo?

One of my best mates and say to her, what are your intentions? Oh, wow. So it went really good. Wow. It went real good. Have you ever been at a restaurant when like a dude has come around selling roses like at a restaurant? Imagine that happened to you guys on a date.

Have you ever been to Bali? Yeah, imagine a rose seller recognising the two of you coming around at a restaurant and going, this is fucking... This is gold. Did she get recognised from the show? Like, do people like... Especially dudes? No, like chicks. Girls do?

Yeah, of course, because girls would have watched it. Yeah. How many times have you referred to yourselves as a power couple? In the bedroom? Heaps. That was before either of us were in media. Yeah. Oh, man.

So for all your excitement, what's this? This has led to... Yeah, what's your question? Hosted this chat show. What's it like? What's it like being with a girl? Now I feel like a 15-year-old in a bedroom. What's it like, Tommy?

A warm apple pie that everybody recognises. I think I'm ready to add to Daslo's wall mural in a minute. That should almost be a regular segment on this show. Carl does a little dance where you just dance around the thing that you want to get out but you don't feel quite confident enough. But then I don't have a question at the end of it. There's no question. But that is wild, right?

Because I did see at the time when it was sort of starting to have the start of your relationship listed in the confidential bit of the newspaper. Oh, was it? That's a bizarre start to a relationship. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Especially for a nobody like you to be confidential. Yeah, I'm the photo taker.

Do you know what I mean? Can I have a photo with her? Yep, I'll take it. Especially when you're like, you know, when you've started seeing someone and it's like, oh, I wonder where this is going. I mean, is this official or should I ask? And then it's like the confidential goes, boyfriend and girlfriend,

Tommy Little and this person. It's like, well, at least that's a chat I don't have to have. The Herald Sun have called it. Well, Adam Rosenbach was a nominee for Clio Bachelor of the Year. Oh, yeah. Have you done that, Tommy? No. No, it's below me.

No, I've got a job with Ronnie Chang you know I know as Ronnie has that happened yeah he lost he got shit on yeah he's hopeless the worst yeah the worst of being a bachelor you know what he is because he's got a girlfriend. So how does that work? I don't think it's not a lot of actual limitations. Yeah, they're very loose on that. I think a bit of people's choice awards sort of gear. Who will do this? Yeah.

When I was in it, Axel Whitehead. Who will do this and who are you? Yeah, Axel Whitehead. So if you get your cock out on the Aries, you're going to win yourself a little bit of a clear bachelor. That's the actual rule. Okay. But did you become little bit of a clear bachelor. That's the actual rule. Okay. But did you become a bit of a trophy?

Did that get you girls? No, no, not at all. Not at all. Really? Nah. It was bizarre. I don't know how many people like our age would read that. I think it's like 18-year-old girls.

I'm not the same age as you, but anyway. Do you know? No. I'm just trying to get an average you know, 18-year-old girls. I'm not the same age as you, but anyway. Do you know? I'm just trying to get an average. The average age of 38 in this room. So what you're trying to say is you, what you're trying to say, Tommy, is you read Cleo. Yes, yes. You know, for all my talk of being above it,

I do write for them every month. Ah, wow. Yeah. You'll take their money, but you won't take your shirt off. Can you submit yourself for the Bachelor next year? That seems weird That you've never That you've never been in it

You would have been asked And you would have said no Yeah If they asked Ronnie And didn't ask you I got If we're being completely honest About it

I was like yeah yeah yeah And I got advised Yeah To not do it To not do it Yeah Management Some people

Yeah Who are those people When Rosie did it Yeah I know I'm definitely not above it I was like Yeah sweet Sweet I'm already in the gym

Let's go I'm skins I'm skins Your advisors to you were like No it'll just make you look Like a big dumb cunt And then to Rosie They're like

Yeah that's kind of In your wheelhouse And the worst is when They're doing the photo shoot So you're there with All these other hot dudes and stuff, and then they were like, oh, just... Just like in this bedroom.

Yeah, exactly. They had a shirt on. They're like, just undo the shirt. I'm like, no, I'm not undoing the shirt. Like, that's just not what I'm doing. They're like, mate, don't worry, everyone's doing it. So you see the Cleo when it comes out, and not everyone had done it, and they didn't even print it.

They just obviously got the photos back and went, no, we shouldn't have done that. Really? Yeah, yeah, I'm fully shirted. Oh and went, no, we shouldn't have done that. Really? Yeah, yeah, I'm fully shirted. Oh, yeah, that's right. I have seen that. You have a shirt on. And it's that thing that reminds me of like year seven again

because there's all these guys with muscles at the pool and then one guy in Okanui's in a billabong T-shirt. Oversized T-shirt. Hey, guys, no, I got a note from my mum. I'm not supposed to swim today. I got eczema. In a rashy. He's already in a rashie.

No pool inside. A rashie and jeans. That would be my dream to be in the Clio Bachelors, actually wearing a rashie, like a Legionnaire's cap, like a little flap on the back. Yeah. For no reason, one of those synchronised swimming nose pegs. You want to be Urkel.

I do want to be Urkel. Ask some puffer in hand. I want to sneak into the Cleo Bachelorette. That'd be fun. The party's fun. The party in Sydney's fun. That'd be a bad party though because it's like, if you're there as a single guy trying to pick up,

it's like, oh, there's 25 people in front of me. There's a lot more women there who can't get access to all those dudes. And a lot of them have, as you said, a lot of them have girlfriends. Right. So it's just for show. Yeah, yeah, right. It's all a fraud. Well, it's just a war of attrition, my friends.

It's pretty great. It's not the genuine trophy I imagined it to be, after all. Sorry. Well, guys, I think that is just about all the time we have for the Little Dum Dum Club this week. Adam Rosenbach, Tommy Little, thank you so much for joining us. Thanks, guys. Have a great Christmas.

You've both got comedy festival shows coming up next year, in the new year. Rosie, Perth and Adelaide, which are on sale now. Yes, so Perth, what am I, second to ninth in the last week of Adelaide, last two weeks of Adelaide Fringe, then back to Melbourne. And name your show. It's Not Me, It's Yous. So details, rosie.com.au?

Probably not. I really need to fucking update that. Boy, the webmaster's really slacking off. Yeah, he has. He's been shit. Cool. Geo shitty. Oh, boy.

Yeah. Tommy Little, you got stuff on sale or not quite yet? Oh, you do? Cool. Yes. At festivals. Various ones of them. Tommy Little,

Enter the Weapon. It's called Enter the Weapon. Great. I love it. Adelaide, Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne,

Canberra. Oh. God, that Canberra. Canberra question mark. Get that up here, Canberra. Well, this isn't Canberra. I love hearing this. That was...

Mr. Easter Seaboard. Parentheses, what the fuck am I going there for? Just remembering going, oh yeah, I got talked into that. You know what? I did it for the first time

last year. It's fucking awesome. I did hear it was really good, yeah. Mate, it's great. Get on board. Just a couple days or something.

It's like a really small kind of thing. All right, mate. We don't all play the big festivals. We don't all play the big bedrooms, but I get it.

What have we got we've got a hey Merry Christmas to everyone listening thank you for all your support and coming to live shows and stuff during the year

officially now we've got on our website for people that don't aren't in cities that can come along and see live shows or haven't bought a t-shirt and it passed

but have hit us up saying hey we'd love to contribute to the podcast in some way we've actually now got a what is it called a donate button donate button on our website we feel like chucking a little thing in a few people have done it so far today since we put it up thank you very much to all those people and i guess we'll

maybe next episode or soon we'll do it we'll do a little quick run through of the people who have if that's something you're into yeah and it'd be great as well you could put up one of those you know the thermometers that go higher oh like membership ones? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They go higher with the money. Yeah, and the top could be $500 and then you give it to Rosie. Because I don't know where you put your phone, but it's not just there anymore. We also have our live podcast on sale now for the Melbourne Comedy Festival and also the Adelaide Fringe Festival.

We're doing one over there. Melbourne Comedy Festival, we've got four shows starting end of March going through to mid-April. And if you get a season ticket, you get to go to all four for much cheaper than you would buy the individual tickets for. And plus, if you buy any of those tickets, you get free admission to the drunk cast that goes on the last night of the comedy festival. Guys, thank you very much for listening. Have a Merry Christmas and we'll see you next time. See you, mates.