The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 237 - Live! Hamish Blake, Wil Anderson, Adam Hills & Dilruk Jayasinha

Episode Date: April 21, 2015

New Sponsorship, Getting Kicked Out Of Austereo and "Bill". Recorded LIVE at The Joint on April 19, 2015.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode of Little Dumb Dumb Club is brought to you by Punchline DVDs, the number one place in Australia to order a comedy DVD. Everyone loves it around here in the clubhouse. What about you, little Tommy Daslow? Yeah, I think that they are a good company. Oh wow, that is a broken up little voice, even more broken than usual. I love to go to Punchline Comedy to buy all my comedy DVDs. Little boy, it doesn't sound like you're old enough to listen to a comedy DVD. Do I sound old?

Do I somehow sound younger in spite of having a voice? It sounds like your voice is breaking. Squeaky little, yeah. I sound like I've been smoking for 28 years straight. This is how good this upcoming episode of Little Dumb Dumb Club is. It broke Tommy's voice. I think this is more of an ad one year in advance for the 2016 drunk cast because that's

what's responsible for this. Yes, but punchline.com.au Hey, the head of Punchline, also largely responsible for this. I believe it was seven Jager bombs he bought us over the course of the drunk cast. But yeah, punchline.com.au

Hey, we've had a couple people hit hit us up on Twitter and, you know, screenshot their purchases of things that they've been buying at Punchline. That's awesome to see. Rest your voice. Let me take over. It's paining me. All right, do it then go. So, also, Tommy Daslow, he's going to have a better voice than this.

He's going to be in Sydney very soon doing his Sydney Comedy Festival show, and that is on what dates? Oh, my God. May the 6th, May the 8th, and May the 10th. Okay, that's it. That's it from you. Go and see that. Go and see Tommy Daslow in Cutie Pie on those dates.

And get our T-shirts. We've got brand new T-shirts which are selling really, really, really well. And they are awesome. I'm even wearing one myself right now because I'm an idiot. But that's how good they are. So, hey, kick back and enjoy this new episode, the last live episode, live from Melbourne with absolute, absolute megastars of Australian comedy, three guests. Man, this is so funny.

Get into it. Oh, I have something to tell you. Yes? Oh, his voice is gone. Damn. Yeah! Hey, mate! Welcome once again to the Little Dumb Dumb Club

live at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. My name is Tommy Dasolo. Standing next to me, the other half of the show, Carl Chandler. G'day, dickheads! Yay! Why these two comedians look like they're about to drop the most fire podcast of 2015.

Yeah! Oh, man. Content. Sweet reference. I reckon, hey, thanks for coming, everyone. I reckon we've sold a lot more tickets for this show than people have turned up because I reckon a lot for coming everyone I reckon we've sold A lot more tickets For this show That people have turned up Because I reckon A lot of people have gone

Fuck the regular podcast We just want the drunk cast Yeah That's not even speculation I reckon that's actually a fact No no We've sold over 200 to this And they're not over 200 people in here

There's 8 people here If you're listening at home Drunk cast is going to be very busy Yeah and Yuma Is just laughing really hard Into the mic so oh we're recording yeah that is the nightmare of me that you've just sitting there going fuck this is a great show oh fuck I've got a job or he fucks it and he doesn't put this up and accidentally puts up the drunk cast. No. No. Our reputations. Our careers.

We're fucked. Can I just say, very nice to be doing a podcast without my mummy and daddy in the room. Yay! For those that listened to last week's one over here, my parents were in the room, and we got a lot of tweets after the show of people saying, boy, Tommy's mum looked very unimpressed for that whole show.

Now, first of all, that's kind of just my mum's default resting face, is to kind of look unimpressed. Second of all, I don't know how impressed you people think my mum is meant to look when a foreign visitor to this country is pointing at her and saying, your son is a cunt. How is she meant to be looking off the back of that? So what did she say after the gig? They enjoyed it.

They enjoyed you having visible money coming into your coffers. Yeah. Well, then after the gig, so I was standing at the bar talking to them and mum is great at picking the worst possible time to talk about stuff. So I'm going to Sydney in a couple of weeks and she was like, hey, I haven't been to Sydney in a while and I was thinking maybe I'd come up to Sydney

while you're up there doing your show and maybe we could hang out together. How is your mum your only groupie? No, but this is the thing. So she's saying that to me as all these people who've listened to the show who are here are like thing. So she's saying that to me as all these people who've listened to the show who are here

are like filtering past and she's saying that to me and I'm a little bit drunk by this point because people were bringing us beers all day. So she's saying that being very earnest

and being very nice and I just go, fuck mum, not in front of my fans. Well, you know, I've been all through the podcast during the festival,

I've been talking about my, let's call it a comedy show. My comedy show slash idiot circus, maybe. I think that's maybe what it is. And two weeks ago I talked about, I don't know if the guy's here tonight, the guy that I sort of ragged at, he came wearing the T-shirt of a different podcast which was especially hurtful we we don't buy the audience beers at this show so why the fuck would he be here so he like after he'd give me that hard time and I paid

him out here he was here and I was like calling him for everything and whatever and then I went to my show and I was actually still frazzled and so I got up on stage like after a tough gig and I was like I'm just gonna punch everyone in this gig tonight I'm so I'm so angry stage like after a tough gig and I was like I'm just gonna punch everyone in this gig tonight I'm so angry I just got up like with the Dukes out going oh I'm gonna fucking make you people like this show I don't care here we go and as I get up like quite violently I look down and the audience just point at my feet and they've left me gifts and the guy that I've been chewing out had left me a big chocolate cake that said

Sorry So I'm like come on I'll fuck So Did you take the cake home and eat it? I did Yeah And how was it? For a second I thought

Oh maybe he's pranking me by putting You know who knows what in it. And that lasted for one second until I went, I'll take the risk. And how was it on the scale of cakes that you've eaten? How was it? Was it up there? On the scale of cakes that I hide from my girlfriend and then eat a lot and then chuck out the evidence. Pretty sweet.

That was pretty good. Why did she not let you eat cake? No, we just had, I've talked about this on the show before. Oh yeah, you're like exercising and dieting together and you hold her up to a very strict standard. No, we're both up to the same standard. Yeah, but then you're sneaking fucking cake. Hey, hey,

I'm just doing, I'm just going through the wishes of my fans. We met here at midday and you had already had KFC when you got here. Yes. What'd you have? I had three chicken strips fuck and a lunch chips so good yeah so fucking good yeah so that happened so he gave me a big cake I'm like okay that's that's cool and then I know there are people

here tonight I know the people from the other night that came in and went and I came on stage and again I think I was following a rough gig where I come and go here we go here we go and then I came up and they just left two pairs of sneakers on the stage and like they're yours and I'm talking to them I'm like oh did you buy me sneakers and they went no we were drinking in the alley and someone dropped them so we gave them to you which to be clear they are here they were just drinking out of a paper bag in the alley is that going to be a new street thing? What's that rumour like when you see sneakers hanging off a telephone wire?

It means you get drugs in that house? You see two sneakers out the front of a venue, you get to see a fucked comedy show? Yeah. And then on top of that, they were like, oh, because we were pre-loading, we were pre-drinking. And I looked down, they're still drinking. They've brought their free grog into the venue. Right. Yeah. Wow. Oh, is that them? they're still drinking they've brought their like free grog into the venue right yeah

wow so some who's gotten an early start on the drunk cast because we had a couple of tweets of people fucking yeah most of you

great people pointing at me going yeah so threatening you better bring some fucking cake yeah

for people who can't hear this is what he said and the Tony said it and he goes I'm coming to your show next yeah I'm gonna get you you't hear, this is what he said and the Tony said it and he goes, I'm coming to your show next. Yeah. I'm going to get you, you fucking dog. But this is what happens because we've made this a bit of a thing.

You know, you come... Oh, cool. That sounded sarcastic. That sounded... Save that for drunk cast. So, they come... You know, you guys come in here and then you come off and do a tour and see our solo shows and mine's the last stop before the drunk cast.

So, last year was just people pulling their fucking hair out screaming like a banshee going drunk it's like you've got a fucking 55 minutes of my show first guys all right like because it was like a 35 c the last year so when i finished that room and this year. Got him. Got him. Well, to be fair, you could probably have an eight-seater, but anyway. Yeah. Oh, it was all funny when I was shit at comedy. I'm their best friend.

So, yeah, last year, just before the drunk cast, it was like 35 people just packing on crazy and then when they finished, it was honestly, I think there was like 70 beer bottles there, just like in pints.

We came in and it looked like, it looked like someone had had a footy trip inside my comedy festival show. So hey, okay, this is a challenge

for you guys between now and the drunk cast. If someone manages to smuggle a slab into Chandler's show, I'll pay you 50 bucks. Because I'm doing a double show tonight, if you can smuggle it into 445,

that's just impressive. So you're talking about people giving you gifts and stuff in your show. We should mention this. We've done a very bad job of mentioning this so far in the live podcast. We have been sponsored by Punchline for the last few years. Big shout out to Punchline DVD. DVDs. Punchline.com.au I think Milan is going to be returning to the drunk cast if any of you listen

to the Adelaide. Fuck, that's weird. No, no, that's not weird because they are a massive chance of all getting free shots. Yeah, that's true. He buys a lot of drinks. But on the sponsorship thing, this is something that I heard the other day. Now a friend of the show, Demi Lardner, was in American Apparel, the clothing shop, and someone came up to her. Now, a friend of the show, Demi Lardner, was in American Apparel, the clothing shop. And someone came up to her on the shop floor and said,

Hey, Demi Lardner, I listen to you on the Little Dum Dum Club. I'm a big fan. And so she's like, oh, thanks. Then she goes and pays at the counter. A different person goes, hey, I listen to the Little Dum Dum Club. And you're really great on it. Then she gets herself a sweet discount. So, you know what?

Fuck Punchline. You need to go after that American Apparel dollar. Well, personally, I'm now sponsored by cake and sneakers. See, here's my pitch to American Apparel. We could do one of their ads for them on the back of Vice magazine, where you and I are just in these unitards that are two sizes too small. Just... What do you reckon?

That's good content. Alright, we'll talk about this later. That'd be just good for you to have another thing you have to hide from your girlfriend. Should we get into a guest? Should we get our first guest on? Okay, we get it. You don't want to hear any more about us. We get it.

I've got more stories about friends of mine being in shops, if you want to hear that. All right, guys. Our first guest today, you know him from Tofop and Fofop. He last night won the People's Choice Award at the Melbourne Comedy Festival. Please welcome Will Anderson. Will Anderson!

Yeah! People's Choice Award at the Melbourne Comedy Festival. Please welcome Will Anderson. Yeah. Okay, firstly. Yeah, please. I love how the drunk cast has become the main thing people like about you guys. The bit that we don't record. Yeah. That is essentially, that's your Avengers, and people are only seeing the other shit

so they understand what's going on in that one. They're like, do I have to see Thor 3? Oh, fuck it, I will. Apparently he's got other comedians heckling him. It'll be better. And I like the best thing they like about us is that they sort of can't hear it. Like it's unrecorded.

Second thing is, I love your approach to sponsorship, and this might not be why you're not getting ahead at the moment, is when you heard that American Apparel might be on your board, the first thing you said was, fuck Punchline! Where were...

You could have more than one. They don't work in the same industry. You can have a clothing brand and a don't work in the same industry. You can have a clothing brand and a DVD brand. Hey, Milan's bought me a lot of shots, but he's never bought me a basic T-shirt, so... I just go where the wind takes me. I wonder if all Milan's stuff is made in Bangladesh. Oh, I got him.

Congratulations on the People's Choice Award last night. This is part of your prize obviously. I love this though because this is very dum-dum because I've never been to this venue before but as I was coming up the escalators I was like this is so you guys because the one coming up to let people in works So are you guys. Because the one coming up to let people in works. But if they want to leave, it's fucking hard to get out of this place.

Well, but this is the first week the one going up has worked. It's been broken every other week. So I feel like that was more us. People can't get in or out, you know. But so what happened last night? This is what I heard. I I wasn't there but you won the people's choice but you didn't get it you didn't collect it I wasn't there I haven't what do you got better to do than thank the people who made you who made you their choice well I thank them by entertaining them for 75 for the money they paid for that show.

It's a simple transaction. I wish I personally understood that. I think it's barter. I told a joke. They gave me a cake. Hey, a cake that said sorry. I don't know how to take that. Well, you're one ahead of what we gave the Aboriginal people.

Oh. Wow. Imagine if they'd been presented with... I love that you all... Like, let's not all ask. We're all on the right side. Let's go out in the street and all reclaim Australia. I think they were more complaining that our native Australians have been compared to me.

They've had it tough enough already. They're sitting around like, he's the one guy we think we're ahead of. By the way, we were talking about this earlier and I was talking to Michael Hing yesterday who told me his favourite tweet of the comedy festival was that Reclaim Australia rally that happened early on in the festival.

Big racist protest thing that happened at Federation Square. Now, the comedy festival holds an outdoor program where they have a stage set up at Federation Square where they have kind of outdoor comedy, and that was meant to happen on that day at Fed Square, and then all those Reclaim Australia people descend upon Fed Square, and all of a sudden a tweet goes out from the comedy festival going, yeah, the big laugh-out's been moved today.

Although, I've got to say, I talked about this in my political show, my other show that I did, but the guy from Reclaim Australia, if there was any justice in the Comedy Awards, the spokesperson for Reclaim Australia would have won every fucking award at the Melbourne Comedy Festival.

Because in 30 seconds on the television, he managed to get out three of the funniest jokes I've ever seen. Firstly, he's covered, like his whole face is covered in the Australia flag scarf flag scarf you know right first thing he says is we want to ban the burka because he can't see what people's faces look like i'm like it it's one of the guys from the chaser this is not like it's sam simmons doing promo i don't know what the is going on ah But then he keeps going. He's barely warmed up.

He hasn't stopped down to consider the fact that it's not the burqa. It's probably the kneecap. And also the fact that he's got the Australian flag over his face, that's half someone else's flag as well. Oh, yeah, but it's the right sort of flag, mate. There were so many Australian flags at that Reclaim Australia rally, Tony Abbott nearly started a press conference. Tony Abbott nearly started a press conference. So that was only the first bit of this 30 seconds on the news.

So he's nailed his first joke, but he just keeps going. It starts with this one. He goes, this is Australia. There's burkas everywhere. I was there in the Burke Street Mall the other day. Already fucking great. But he's only halfway through the sentence. He goes, everywhere there were burkas.

And then he says this, burka, burka, burka. I'm like, oh my God, I did not know the Swedish chef was so fucking racist. Well, what's so surprising about a Muppet making a noise like a Muppet? But it was his final line that was my favourite, where he tried to make his stand about Australia. He goes, I even went to that McDonald's and three of the people were wearing burqas and all I could think was the burqas are better at hungry. Shall we bring our second guest out here?

Yeah, sure, let's get them all on. Why do I always ask you for permission to bring a guest on? Oh, by the way, can you just quickly finish what happened at the high five? Because I haven't heard any of this. Oh, right. I literally don't know what happened. I was at home in bed and I woke up this morning and got messages from people saying congratulations. Okay, I'll say it again.

You won. But did someone collect it on my behalf? No, no. Apparently they go, Russell Cain went... Was anyone there, by the way? Yeah. Russell Cain just... Russell Cain just took it. Russell Cain just fucking was anyone there by the way? Yeah, so Russell Cain just took it

Russell Cain just fucking took it another British fucking thief coming to this country and fucking it up for the indigenous people what I heard was he went, is Will here? and like nothing happened and then he goes, does anyone from Will's management want to come up and get it? and then

nothing happens, and then he goes does literally just anyone want to get up here and just have an award? It's a people's award, man. By the way, that award used to be audience voted and now it's most ticket sales. Thank God there's finally some justice with that award.

I'd like to point out I've won it both ways. You're the only person to ever win the away to exclude the world it's been done six times and I archbarker one at one oh really yeah okay oh good good it's it's good that you've let someone have a go mate, I don't fucking beg people to come to the show They come of their own accord Oh really? Can you not do that? Because that's what we do

Must be nice Will Anderson everyone Yay Alright Yeah, thanks man Okay, second guest on the show today. He's been on once before. You know him as half of Hamish and Andy.

Please welcome into the little Dunham Club, Hamish Blake. Oh, my lordy. I'm out. See you later. I just dropped Will's beer. I'm out of here. How are you, boys? What an entrance. I've walked up awkwardly sorry well because I I was it does there last night it was a shame shame you went there to collect your award and you were coming on here today and I collected on behalf of will so it

won't have the same magic as it had last night to present the People's Choice Award for the festival but I'd like may I present will yeah absolutely yep Well done. There you go. That's from the festival. I mean, it's what I've always wanted. It's heavily sponsored by both the Australian Mint and Peroni, but it's $5 jammed in a Peroni bottle. Papa with the other five.

I mean, you've got them dating back so long, you've probably got a $2 note in your first one. Will, can I borrow that five bucks is that cool all jokes aside I do actually want to finish the beer and I love that fucking Tommy's doing flea these materials it can it can be awarded to the best audience member. The podcaster's choice award. What have they got to do to prove themselves as best audience member? Just laugh the most? Yeah, I mean, this is actually so easy, isn't it? Just chucking out cash to the audience.

I don't know what's going on there. Big laughs. I think I mentioned this last week, but Dave Thornton bought half a dozen beers for my crowd last week and then when they said, how do we share it around? He said, I don't know, give it to the people who heckle my show the most. Not a bad strategy.

I'd say the opposite of that actually. Let me give the $5 to Best Heckle right now or is that going to be chaos? You've got to save your energy up for doing that in an hour's time. If we're giving $5 out for Best Heckle, we need to get like an Armour Guard truck in here. There's too much to work with. You're the guys that were bragging about selling all these tickets to people that didn't show up for best heckle, we need to get like an Armour Guard truck in here. This is going to be... There's too much to work with.

You're the guys that were bragging about selling all these tickets to people that didn't show up and now it's going to cost us 50 grand. The other night, I had a group,

like a big group in from Chem Mart and what happens is if we have a big corporate group in, we split them up in the audience so there's not like a hundred drunk people sitting together.

So they're not talking about work. Right. So, but basically this night that did not stop them so they were just yelling at each other across the theater and are we doing yum chow later that's honestly what it was and then some people from priceline who just were there as a coincidence started getting aggro that ken mart were getting so much attention and this went on for 10 minutes and then this guy down the, who was not involved in any of this, looked up at me, and I honestly thought this was the best heckle I've got in ages.

He just goes, am I paying for this? In more ways than one. You're bragging about all your corporate people you've had in. We're a big chance of having two people from American Apparel in here right now. Yeah, but fuck the people from Punchline. Yeah, fuck you Milan. I just want to put this out. I'm always hesitant to call the people

who listen to our show fans. I would say they're listeners. People familiar with the content in a dispassionate way. Oh, you're a fan of the show? I'm aware of it. I'm aware of your back catalogue. I mean, I listen every week.

I wouldn't say I like either of those two guys. Let's just say you're known. I think instead of fans, you should call them fams because they're familiar. Oh, now that I can get on board with. Am I right, fam? You're on the famamily. I once ran into a guy when I was like souping, I was backpacking, I was in LA and he was in a heavy metal band and I just was by myself in a bar in LA and he jammed me in a corner. He said,

oh, we're from this band. You know, we're here, we moved from the country, we're here in LA trying to make it big. And I was like, oh yeah, great great. How's it going? He goes, you know Slash from Guns N' Roses? I went, yeah, yeah. He goes, he's aware of us. And I went, what do you mean? And he goes, well, we were at the Rainbow Room, one of those bars in LA, like the Viper Room or something. And we were leaving as he came in.

And we told him our name. So I was like, at a subconscious level, if someone hypnotised slash maybe he would like recall that moment. But maybe, so these are people that are aware. Yeah, yeah, these are aware. Well, I don't call them fans because, you know, the majority of correspondence we have with you people. You swine.

It's not entirely positive so I've got I've got a few that I've lined up tonight but I just thought this is a good time to do one of them someone someone saw my show the other night and said he was he's tweet to me after seeing my show at Cal Chandler looks like a home brand Hamish Blake that makes sense That makes sense because I've been getting a lot of looks like a Thomas Duck sculpture. It all falls into place.

Same nutritional value, better quality. It does explain all those trips to Thailand. I'm a pirate you. Yeah, you're just doing the same season of Gap Year over and over and over again. Hey, that's no different than the real Hamish.

That's not exclusive to him. I just look like you if I'd been filmed with a dodgy handycam in a cinema. What if you guys did a franchise? Because you don't have time, but they do it with Puppetry of the Penis, right? Like, they get other guys to be the Puppetry of the Penis guys and they go and play the smaller venues. Like, you can't go everywhere.

You guys are big stars and you've got commitment. Thank you. I'm in the middle of six months off. But yeah, no, in theory, I definitely understand that. Obviously super busy want to come to a podcast at three on a Sunday yeah sure

can I come to every one you can only be on one that's fine I'll work the bar don't mind happy to get out of the house I honestly left an hour earlier than I needed to today

to have a walk you emailed me like so what time should I get there do you want me in like 2.45 is fine AM I'll be in at AM I'm in I'm in I'll tell? Do you know when you want me in? Like 2.45 is fine. AM? AM? I'll be in at AM.

I'm in. I'm in. I'll tell my wife. You can look after the baby. I've got stuff to do. A legitimate reason to leave the house. Well, on the lookalike thing, when I was doing my show in Perth one night after the gig, I was standing around outside the venue and these two guys come up to me

and one of them goes, are you Adam's wa? And I go, no, no, I'm not. And they're like, oh, okay. And then I get chatting to them for a bit and I'm like, oh, so what did, I'm not. And they're like, oh, okay. And then I get chatting to them for a bit and I'm like, oh, so what did you guys do tonight? And they're like, oh, we just saw your show. You've got the fucking name on the ticket.

The real Adam Zwa wouldn't dare put his name to it. You're the experimental Zwa. You're his character. Yeah, it was his new show, The Agony of Being a Dumb Cunt. Should we get our third guest? Let's get our third guest out of here. Hamish Blake, everyone. Thank you.

Seriously, I'll stay all night. Our third guest today, you know him from Spicks and Specks, from The Last Leg. Please welcome back into the little dum-dum club, Adam Hills. Hi. Hi, everyone. Welcome. Can I just ask how I'm, like, is the black T-shirt okay?

Does it look all right? Yeah, it looks good. Okay, cool. Sorry, I don't want to interrupt here either, but, like, Will's left. Am I expected to leave? No, no, no, he's still here. That's right, we can't. good okay cool I don't want to interrupt here either but like wills left am I expected to know he's still here that's how we come back that was a hell of a costume change I was hoping someone actually tweeted today I've just seen will and Adam in the same room that'll stop a lot of rumors and start one more yeah hang on what the fuck is going on?

There he goes. He went for a beer. Sorry, because I just went, oh, I've broken protocol. Was I meant to leave when the new guest comes up? Will's over at the bar going, look at Blank, he's still up on stage. It was more like I'd been waiting to get a beer, but I thought if I left during you, you'd take that personally. So I thought Hilsey would be funny at the start and he'll have his moment

and nobody will notice that I'm gone. I've accidentally shone a light on it. yeah the shirts good I mean you did people because it's a black on a black backdrop but does it look alright it seats my body yeah I love American apparel stuff some sweet yeah it does check out a little sensational and is actually American Apparel Feels good It looks sensational And look now that I'm not on the ABC I'm free to talk about

Products that I wear So Great Fucking watch and learn You amateur dicks Mate If you don't like Fucking Aussie apparel

Fuck off Well I used to think That about the song The 5 Seconds of Summer song They had a song she looks so perfect standing there in her American apparel underwear and I'm like you're Aussies can you and then went well yeah fair point though what rhymes with Reg Grundy's I'm gonna work that into a song well and and just looking at this lineup tonight

why didn't we stretch this out over a month like you should have seen you should have seen the assholes we had on last week at this line-up tonight, why didn't we stretch this out over a month? You should have seen the arseholes we had on last week. But those 40 people that didn't turn up are feeling pretty fucking dumb right now.

Yeah, cool, come back in three hours and watch Dilrock getting drunk. Good call. No chance you're ever going to see that again. Hey, just very quickly, so we brought up, you know, Will and Adam,

you guys are constantly getting mistaken for each other on, like, you know, various things. I saw a photo the other day on the Melbourne Comedy Festival's Instagram account. Nick Cody was in the photo and someone commented going, that guy with the ginger beard, is that Will Anderson? So now there's a... You've never had a beard of any kind. Like, this is... So is that going to...

Nick Cody is in the room, by the way. Let's make it happen. Welcome to the stage. Shattering myths. Welcome to the stage, the Olsen twins. If there's one thing that this show has proved, it's that different people are different people. So far we've had a lot of proof that everyone's not the same person.

We've had three sets of twins, right? Australia's population's just tripled. To be honest, I don't like to clean up any of the rumours because it's the only way I win the people's choice. I am pooling a lot of votes. I'm getting Nick Cody votes, I get Hilsey votes, I get Thornton votes. I mean, not a lot going his way, but I get...

Got him. Got him. Yeah, because he's been begging to be burned for years. What a prick. Dominic's arsehole. Adam, the last time... So we were talking about this before. The last time you did the show, you were on the show back when we used to record

in at Austereo. For a little while, we were on Barry Digital Radio, which was a digital comedy station connected to Triple M. Shout out to Barry. Yep. Just in case they come back. He can't hear you.

Barry's dead. Yeah. Well, that's the thing. I think we've probably all been down to those studios. Andy and I used to do our show out of there. Those that, I mean, this is the radio station I work for, but at the time, even we were going, really, digital radio? Do you honestly think, like, is this a,

are we really putting a lot of chips behind this? Don't say anything too controversial. They could let you go. Before we've come back. Just, we're miles offshore still and they're flashing lights to turn around. By the way, Hamish could probably take a shit on the Fox FM symbol

and they wouldn't let him go. I'm pretty sure. And I would rock up. Can and have. Can and have shout out Christmas party 2009. But these digital studios downstairs it's like like that you know you guys were there in the heyday like it boomed and everyone's like yeah I love the idea that we were part of any sort of hi there's sepia photos of you digital sepia. The gold rush of dodgy content.

We were there on the front lines. But now our studio, which is next door, is this like mishmash of wires and bits and pieces. And it's like in Star Wars, like when the droids die, you know when C-3PO has to go and work at that bit where they pull the droids apart, like fuse them back together? That's what's happened to the Barry's studio. So every time we sit down, we go, these mics aren't working.

Someone goes, oh, fucking hell. Walk into the Barry's studio. You know time we sit down, we go, these mics aren't working. Someone goes, fucking hell. Walk into the Barry's studio, rip, rip, rip. You know, they're just like sparks fly everywhere. They come in, weld a mic onto ours, and that's it. So that's what's slowly happening to those studios. So we were in there for a little while. Then Barry goes under, and we get told, hey, so because this isn't a thing anymore,

obviously you cannot come into this studio and record your show anymore. What they didn't do was cancel our swipe passes. So we proceeded to continue going in for about two years. So we finally teed up to have you on the show. We were very excited about this.

We just used to go in at sort of like late at night when no one else was around. At 1am we'd get friends that had nothing else to do harking back to Nick Cody. Friends that had nothing else to do. Harking back to Nick Cody. Friends that had nothing else to do and we'd go, can we meet Sunday night at 1am? And they're like, absolutely, yes. I'm almost positive that you guys are responsible

for like 90% of the posters that go up in the staff kitchen. Like, who's fucking eating my spaghetti bolognese? Stop eating the yoghurt! It was kind of weird to turn up to, you know, a podcast, and these guys met me at the front door and went, oh, you're coming for the podcast. Best not to tell anyone why you're here. Don't ask questions. Pop this cleaner's outfit on.

You're a paramedic. I'm going to be having a seizure. That's going to get us to level two. In the dark, we can convince everyone that Carl is Hamish. So just put on this Andy wig. And chase him upstairs yelling for money. Yeah, finally some answers to that's why we never got stopped. People were just like, oh, he looks so different in real life. It all makes sense now.

Hamish has had a rough night. He's picked up a rent, boys. He's kept drinking since that 2009 Christmas party. He's still going. So we, like for context, like one time

during the Comedy Fest we had Jim Brewer from Saturday Night Live on the show. We teed it up with a publicist. We turn up and those studios

were always empty. We turn up and the studios actually got people in it for the first time ever. And there's someone who works at the station going, oh, we must have fucked up and double booked this. And we go, yeah, you must have.

Don't make us take this to the top. Seriously, don't, because our pastors work on this level. But not upstairs. Well, they then get us to record in the main studio where the hot breakfast was done out of. And we're just going, fuck, if we hit a button and this goes out, like, live on Triple M. goes out like live on triple A like they're forcing us into the studio going you know this room and we're like yeah is this the bathroom so

then anyway we because we were having you in you could only do it at a very certain time was middle of the day very rare for us and so we hit up a couple of people that we knew that worked in there to see if we could get on the booking sheet just to make sure we were safe. I don't want to dob in Dave Thornton, but... I love that there's a booking sheet. Or was it? I know I voted for him.

So we did the episode with you. It was great. We then, I think we both went to America the week after that. You really celebrated. You were really happy with the episode. It was our best episode. Well, I don't think we're going to top that. Let's go to LA. Dude, do you know how big Will Anderson is?

G'day, Judd. We're ready to be in your film. You just made a great piece of content. Yeah. Let's just say he's aware of you. So we then get an email while we're away saying hey um have you guys still been coming in and using the studios which we do not reply to then a week later we get another email going you're not allowed to come in and use

those studios I really I don't like the word use we are coming in partnership with this is a two-way relationship. Someone's got to use the studios. But then the third email was, stop using our studios. I am watching you on CCTV right now. I can see you in the studio. Yeah, I just fixed

your mic for you. So yeah, I mean, you asked what happened at the start of the gig and I thought, well, let's save this in front of these fine people and it's a story without a happy ending. Hey, hey, hey, hey. You could look at it as without a happy ending, but look at you now.

You're here, you've got over 200 people in front of you. Theoretically. Black and white posters stapled to a shitty curtain behind us. You've got Hilsey dressed as a roadie. Which, by the way, for everyone who was here last week, you'll notice we have stuck it to the pole this week. Whoa. Not often you get an adhesive cheer.

The way you said it sounded like there'd been an issue. Like, and this week we stuck it to the pole, man. Yeah, there was an issue. We stuck it to the curtain and it fell off halfway through. These guys walked out before. They've got you three in the podcast. Got Will Anderson, Hamish Lavey, Adam Hills and gone, nah, fuck it. We want a beer.

And I applaud that. Will left as well. I got no problem with that. I got no problem with that. If you ever do gigs in Manchester, in England, that's exactly... You can be having the best gig of your life you can be absolutely

storming it applause break after applause break and someone in the third row will still go ha ha ha he's great

who wants beers and you just people throughout the show and you just think this is and they look at you as they're walking out going hey hey hey

I'm gonna get a beer you essentially need a mic stand with a tap on the front. You just keep filling beers as you go along. I've told this on the show I think a couple of times now, but yeah, a couple of years ago I had a guy, first couple of minutes of my show, in response to a joke,

he goes, oh, that is wild. I look over a minute later, he's fallen asleep. He's asleep for 20 minutes of the gig. At the end, as I'm shaking everyone's hands as they leave, he goes, mate, that was one of the best things I've ever seen. I've gotten credit for his little nap time. It's sweet. I just want to bring back the social media

that some of our people who are aware of us that have sent in. Here's three grabs of what we've got in the last week. I got someone who came to my show two nights ago that said, Ticket guy asked who we came to see. I said Carl Chandler and went to show him tickets. He said, no need. No one would lie about that. Glad you enjoyed that.

Was that person here? Hey! Yeah, right. Get out. How dare you make fun of my best friend. Second one. I was listening to Dumb Dumb Club out loud and my sister thought Daslo was a girl. Ha ha ha.

Fuck you and your little girl's voice. Yeah. I got that tweet and I had to stop myself from running back and saying, fuck you and your sister. Is that person here? Is that person's sister here? Is it possible they left off the words, I want to, at the beginning of that? If you check all of our history,

absolutely not. Not only will all complaints be taken seriously but we'll also stalk you online we'll do a full profile of you we'll go back to your less funny tweets we'll retweet those

and get this guy because he's funny the worst one of those I ever did I've spoken about this before but I there was a Melbourne reviewer from the Melbourne Age

who wrote a really bad review of a movie called The Dark Knight Rises and I loved that movie and so I got mad. I was after a show one night and I fucking hated the review so I'm like,

fuck him. I'm going to go online and if he follows me on Twitter I'm going to fucking block him. That was going to be my little vengeance for the night. Got him.

I'm a lot of people following me. He might fucking follow me. I'm going to fucking... Hours of just scrolling and scrolling. I'm showing him. Where is he right

where is his twitter handle it's got to be somethingtheage.com it's like I fucking look him up and the fucker does not follow me I know

terrible taste in movies and comedians but here's what I do because I'm so shallow i go through on twitter everyone who retweeted his review of that movie and i blocked them wow wow and then and then tweeted tweeted him going think you're a great writer get a follow that's what you do you just fell with the honest trick of the book. Oh my God, it's 6am, I've got to go to bed.

Can you follow me so I can DM you? Follow. Block. You're a motherfucker. Stop hating on Batman. I've got an ongoing bunch of messages from a friend of mine going, I can't, Will Anderson's blocked me for, I've never sent him a tweet, I've never done anything and he's blocked me.

Now I know. Will will block any degree of separation right up to Kevin Bacon. He doesn't care. You know someone that knows someone that knows someone that even thought about not liking the Dark Knight, you're out. Will's got four followers left. I do block on behalf of other friends, though. So if he's made fun of one of you guys or something

or said something mean to me... You must block a lot of people. Wow, you're like, block her. Luckily enough, in the scheme of our careers, It's a small enough number we can deal with It's the people's choice There's two accounts that have ever hated on him And one was fake, one was an egg One was a bot

Alright, final tweet was Someone sent us this one My bro said he didn't want to know What Tommy and Carl look like. I sent him a pic. He wrote back annoyed and said it was depressing. Not a fan of the home brand. Dare I ask what I'd be the home brand version of?

Oh, fuck. Danny DeVito? Turtle from Entourage, season one. Mate, you know what you look like? Oh, God. Miss Never-End-Tel. I think this will be really complimentary. A sunset.

Gorgeous. So, okay, someone book a cab to the Westgate for me and now let's hear it. What have you got? No, I think you look like Ryan Gosling if he really wanted to win an Oscar. LAUGHTER Hey, hey, never go full Dice-A-Lot. It's the one thing I'll bring him back.

The health kick starts tomorrow, everyone. We've got a little thing we've got queued up, haven't we? Yeah, so we've got a good friend of ours. He's been on the show a bunch of times before we wanted to get him on here for a quick chat just at the end of the show please welcome

into the little dum-dum club once again Dilruk Jaisingha! Hello mate Fucking hell Hey, hello can I just read one tweet that I just got?

Use the mic Hang on, just first of all stripes was an interesting choice Fucking hell. Hey, can I just read one tweet that I just got? Use the mic. First of all, stripes was an interesting choice. Are we off? We're off. This tweet from like... You do look like the social media referee. I mean, just laughing. What's in, what's out. Or like a fucking, what's it called?

Genetically modified bananas in pyjamas. That's what I... Come to the live shows, people. This tweet was from... I feel like we're in podcast gladiators. This one was like an hour ago. Not sure if Abdul Rukh Jai is going to be at Dum Dum Club today. So I just ate KFC to help fulfill the disgusting fat fuck quota.

Good work. To be fair, he did do it hashtag disgusting fat fuck. So let's get this trending. Hilsey looks very confused about why that specific line just got a laugh. It's a running joke on this podcast. Right. He and another guest of ours called each other that line. And then we found out

there was a couple who listened to the podcast and that's their term of endearment for each other now. Disgusting fat fuck. Oh, okay. I just saw the look on your face of that

getting said and everyone going, yay! What kind of fucking universe have I walked into? Mate, if you were doing that sort of material you'd still be at Triple M.

I actually feel really ashamed of myself that it actually made perfect sense. Yeah. This is good. This is good. It's not everything. We've made a guest assimilate into a podcast. Well, Cody just pointed out, this is almost a great graphical representation of, like, outliers. Because you have right from there, success, and then this side.

These two fuckheads. Oh, sorry, hang on. This is Charles Darwin of success right here. I'm all hunched over. There was a few racial undertones in that, I think. Oh, yeah, like you didn't fucking know Mary Burrows coming out again here we go no Mary Burrows way below Sri Lanka believe me so Dilruk the reason we got Dilruk on is I believe this is maybe the first

time Hamish have you met Dilruk before? We haven't met before I mean we met a few seconds ago as he walked past in front of me it was pretty special I really it. I certainly remember it. We booked you for the show a couple of weeks ago and I told Dilwook that was happening and he told me that before he started comedy, he actually called in to your radio show years and years ago. It was 131060, you were discussing fat fuck. I remember.

Switchboard is lit up. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was scared I wouldn't be... You know, you do so many shows that they all blend into one, but, yeah, moments like that stand out. Where you have to dump button yourself. Don't you remember this laugh shattering your eardrums on the radio? But wasn't that

after two weeks of you and Andy pretending to be a disgusting fat fuck together? Yes, that's right. I want front, I want back. Well, anyway,

Dil has the clip. That would be so good. Probably jacks off to it every night. To be fair, it was one of the greatest moments of my life. To be fair, there's not a lot to beat. So we've got the... Just one quick reference.

One quick pie face. I'm going to bottle cunt. No, yeah, I was such a huge fan of the show i still am and the fact that i got in i was on my at my accounting job so i had to like whisper so that my boss doesn't even hear it but i was actually shaking because i couldn't believe i was on air like oh my god oh my god i'm talking to them and uh Correct. Callback. Yeah. But what you hear is me super nervous and shaky, but also somehow my accent hadn't evolved.

It was as a Sri Lankan as my accent ever got. But yeah, that's all. I don't know if I said this on the podcast. I've said this to you in person. There's one word that you say that is in purely Australian accent, and it's the word fucking. Anytime you say fucking, it's like, and I realise, you said, that's just what this country has done to me. That tells you how little I use that word back home versus how frequently I hear it here.

I have no frame of reference for it in the Sri Lankan accent. It's fucking good. If it makes you feel any better before we listen to it, we used to shake too when people called up because we never expected people to ever call the radio show. When we did community radio, we just had it as a given that we would like, we knew on radio you were meant to be like,

oh yeah, give us a call if you want to talk about this. But we just knew no one was listening. So we would always have a friend ready to call. But we were like, we assume it never happens. We'd never called radio shows. I'm sure people don't really do it. And one day, we were doing a community radio show and we were talking about just we assume never happens like we'd never called radio shows like I'm sure people don't really do it and one day like we're doing a community radio show we're talking about something and the phone rang and it like we're at CNFM at RMIT and it like rang rang like like no one

showed us how to do so we will. No one knows what to do. So we got the phone like, hello, hang on, wait, don't hang up. And put it on speaker and then put the mic next to the speakerphone. That was the first call we ever genuinely took from the public. So we were shaking as well. And when we were on radio against Hamish and Andy, we didn't get calls because they were on radio against us it was just us

calling during the songs how you doing down there boys still playing Nickelback oh man Hamish Blake Hamish Blake you have got a future in podcasting we got Rhianna up here ranking in the listeners for us one day we were so desperate that Nikki Webster was meant to be calling them but called us by mistake so we just put it here and then halfway through she realized that she was on the wrong show.

Because she goes, I just heard you guys talking about me. And, you know, I just want to say from my perspective, you guys are like, whoa, Nicky, I don't know what you're talking about. And then I think Will goes, I think I know what's happened. goes, I think I know what's happened. I think you might have been channel serving, Nicky, which in radio we specifically tell you not to do. You're not meant to know about other radio shows. Well, okay, so we've got the audio of Dilruk calling up Hamish and Andy.

What year is this? Like five years ago, 2009, 2010, something like that. Do we want to hear it? Do we want to hear this? Yes Pretty good stuff Hang on, hang on, hang on We're relying on technology in this podcast This'll be good Roger Federer's coach should be paying you not to play against Federer at golf

Thanks Steve Bill, whom or what are you better than? It's actually deal with the D I'm sure whoever wrote that down Thanks, Steve. Bill, whom or what are you better than? It's actually Dill with a D. I'm sure whoever wrote that down didn't want to insult you and just gave you the benefit of the doubt and wrote Bill. Dill, is it short for Dill? I'm being born in Sri Lanka. It's a Sri Lankan name.

Sorry, it's not short for Dill. No, it's short for Dill Rook. Dill, I say embrace it. Dill's a great name. Oh, it's great. The problem is after I came here, it took me about eight months before I realised Dil means stupid in Australia.

But did you think a lot of people were paying you a little bit of a homage every time someone said, oh, don't be a Dil, mate? I know, Andy says that all the time. You don't even know me. How do you know you don't want to be me? Sorry, Dil, I do say it a bit.

I'm really stoked to be on the phone. Tell us, mate. Just in general, not just to you guys, but... They're a great invention. Who wouldn't enjoy being on one? I'm from this country. This is what a develop board looks like. Dil, you would have used phones before.

I know, I'm being a Dil. You're being a Dil. You're living up to your name, Dil. You're just having a bit of fun. You can't be called dill and be too serious about life. What, you tell a good story. So I actually am better than Australian marathon champion Steve Monaghetti. Oh, don't be a dill.

How come you're better than Steve Monaghetti? How did this go past? It was last year at the Noosa Triathlon. I competed in it, and I beat him in the swimming part of it. Hey, that's hot dogs, hamburgers and ice cream. Still counts as a win. He smoked me in the run. No, he didn't.

You were competing over one length of swimming. You know that's where the triathlons won and lost. I beat him by, like, two minutes or a minute, and I remember watching the commentary on TV, and they go, and here's Monaghetti

moving like a glacier, and I'm like, jeez, thanks, man. Who's the deal now? Thanks, Bill. Simon. Little did we know we were being pranked.

Now play when I ring up John Laws. That's amazing. I really do remember that I was that was that was that was crazy you remember it because at the start you were digging a hole out of racism man at times this is the way it works in radio you call someone to see you guys yeah great we'll put you on they write the name down comes on the up on the screen. You go, oh, great, Bill. And it's always those things where you're like, but always a producer would go, this is happening so quick. I heard a consonant. Producers most of the time are just solving Wheel of Fortune puzzles.

They're like, I sort of heard a name like that. Ah, Bill, that's good. So many times they're like, hey, Michelle? It's Michelle. That does make a lot more sense you have so much faith in the screen you just gotta go with it I don't know why you didn't take him on after that like there was massive chemistry there yeah I know I made Jack laugh which is a great achievement if you can pick up his laugh

true cackling Jack would have been wrapped and Dil here's the thing you've had a great comedy festival thank you yes thank you

thank you everyone yeah okay yeah thanks for everyone who's come every episode every episode every alright

every episode of Dil's comedy life has been well attended. I'm like the Truman Show. Every, what is it called? Show. Every show has, I've been drinking since seven.

Never call Linda this show again. It's been really good. There's always one or two Dumb Dumb fans. And yeah, really appreciate it. Thank you so much for coming. And I've started saying, I've started saying,

hey, thanks for coming. Who's here from Dumb Dumb? They were like, yeah. And I started saying, I started saying, hey, thanks for coming. Who's here from Dum Dum? They were like, yeah. And I'm like, have you guys gone and seen Carl and Tommy's show? Nah. Wow.

So I've had to start plugging you guys, even though you're the reason I'm like, one of the reasons I'm selling out. So technically, you should probably move

further up the line of evolution. Sure. You should. I'm going right down to the end. I'm going to go into the gutter outside McDonald's on Elizabeth Street. Did you say McDonald's? I don't know.

Man, it sounds to me, Kyle, like someone needs a thank you cake baked for them. They won't get any of it. I think that's about it. I think that's about it. Guys, big round of applause for Joe Singer, Adam Hills, Hanush Blake, Will Anderson.

I think the sign of a good show whether it be TV radio or theater is if it ends with a sigh and then the words I think that's all sex you can throw lovemaking in that category well I mean it didn't end well for either of us but I think that's about it. Let's have a round of applause for both of us. But it's sad if at the end your partner gets Dill in for the last five minutes. If a show's going to end, it's going to be when we have Will, Hamish, Hilsey, and now Dill.

Fuck, this is going to get bad if we bring someone else on. All right, fuck you. It was funny before. All right, guys, one more round of applause for all our guests. Thank you so much, everyone, for coming out and filling out all of these shows that we've done over the last month. It's been so much fun. Guys that have come to our shows and tweeted us and all that stuff. The fuck's going on? Thank you, boys.

Thank you. Yeah, there's been so much that you guys want to come out and see the show, and hopefully we'll see a bunch of you at the drunk cast, and we'll see you next time. See you, mates.