The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 242 - Meshel Laurie & Danny McGinlay

Episode Date: May 25, 2015

Danny's Banners, The Other Side of the Westgate and Tommy's Tattoo.   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey mates, welcome once again into the little dum-dum club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo and sitting next to me, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day dickhead. Now the listeners may have noticed a degree of clarity in the quality of this that they're probably not used to. You sound even a little bit masculine. Yeah, that's how radio equipment works.

It just puts a bit more timber into the old vocal cords. It does. It's a thick timber. This is good. This is a nice throwback to when we used to do this before we were unceremoniously evicted from our old radio home. Well, let's explain why. Because at the moment, that's why we're sounding particularly professional.

Yeah, we're in at Nova FM. The view of IKEA is beautiful. Yes. And we're sounding particularly professional. Yeah, we're in at Nova FM. The view of Ikea is beautiful. Yes. And speaking of Ikea and speaking of furniture, the listeners want to know, have you sat on the couch yet? That's harking back to last week's episode where we talked about a couch that I don't sit on, which is possibly the most boring subject that's ever been brought up on our show.

But, hey, people want to know. People are interested in it. People have been tweeting in. They've been Facebooking in. Just simple yes or no question. I think maybe two people have. But anyway. That's enough.

No, I haven't. I've dumped my garbage on it and that's about it. There you go. Well, I'm going to keep following this up. I want the listeners to know that is my promise to you. Let's see if we can get our listeners down to zero. Should we welcome our guests in? Yes.

First of all, joining us, you know him from The Circle. Why is that always? I just bring it up because I know you hate it so much. He's been strutting around in here for the last hour like the king of commercial radio. Please welcome back into the Little Dumb Dumb Club, Danny McGinley. G'day. Yes. Here we are, Nova 100.

We play today's best music. Okay. Yeah, you've been taking meetings with some of the execs in here, just wandering into people's offices, making yourself very at home. Yeah, well, I was three years of commercial radio jock at 1019 The Fox and Triple M and then Triple M Sydney. And, yeah, people don't leave radio. So you didn't work in here.

How come you're pulling the strings in here this morning? People don't leave radio. They just sort of go from station to station. And yeah, all those people I used to work with about a decade ago and they've gone on with their careers and I'm talking to you guys. Also, you know her from Nova FM Breakfast, from the project. Please welcome back into the Little Dum Dum Club, Michelle Laurie. Very exciting stuff.

Also from the Circle. Also from the circle. Also from the circle. Yeah, come on. She did a lot more circle than me. Yeah, on-air circle. Yeah. Your fair circle. I was on three times on air.

Yeah, good job. Thanks, Michelle. Did you get to cook in the kitchen? I did. I cooked twice. Really? Did you really? That's how I started.

I was the... Hang on, hang on. Were you on air or were you part of the catering? I did. I cooked twice. Really? That's how I started. I was the... Hang on, hang on. Were you on air or were you part of the catering? They got me on to do... I did my live cooking show in the Comedy Festival 2009 about drunk cooking, and then they got me on to do some drunk recipes.

Yes. Drunk recipes at like nine in the morning. Yeah, the circle was very loose Yeah, we would do that And Denise Drysdale's very method Oh, shit yeah She's drunk a lot Yes

So just to get you in character They book you like this massive tab at the casino So you can just be out all night drinking And then go straight in there to do the segment Can I just go quickly back into what you said Denise Drysdale? We're not telling any fibs. I heard from a friend a couple of years ago, a friend of mine said...

Here we go, reputable source. Yes. Friend of Carl's. It's hard to get even more reputable. It was Ernie Sigley. That's how he was. This is like a Who Weekly article. Friends and associates have said.

I got really pissed off with Ernie Sigley, an old radio person. I get it. Shock jock, Carl Chandler. Because I went, the first time Elvis Costello, one of my musical heroes, came out,

the first time in like 10, 20 years or something like that, I got as good a ticket as I could possibly get. We get to the end of the concert and everyone's going crazy

and he's sitting front row and centre. Everyone stands up for the last five songs and goes crazy and he just sits down and goes, nah, nah, fuck you Ernie Sigley

man but how did you know specifically, how could you tell that it was Ernie Sigley yeah, because I was like two rows behind him I could see isn't Elvis Costello quite laid back so why is everyone, it's surely moshing at an Elvis Costello concert it's a bit weird

it's not laid back, it's not Burt Bacharach. God. Well, that's the trouble. Ernie thought he was going to see Burt Bacharach. Yeah, yeah, maybe, maybe. So what I was going to say about Denise Drysdale was I had a mate that said to me, oh, I've got this great story. Guess what?

I saw Denise Drysdale in rehab. Like I was in there with her. And I was like, I reckon the story is, why were you in rehab? Yeah, I was shocked to hear that Denise was in rehab. She was visiting someone, surely. Yeah, probably. Because she has absolutely no need or desire to not drink. I mean, it's her favourite thing in the world.

Can you get sued for libel for things you've said on a podcast? Let's find out this week. I've never met anyone. You know you meet really famous people that have been famous since you were a kid. Like I'm meeting Denise Drysdale somewhere and just bang, straight into it. She just looked at me and went, oh God, I was that

blind last night. I'm like, I don't even know you, lady. Do you think I'm someone else? Do you think I'm Rhonda Birchmore? She's like, no, I was that pissed. Oh God, I had this much vodka. And I was like, okay, that's the way Ding Dong rolls, man. Yeah.

That is how she rolls. When I was doing the drunk cooking, she was giving me some tips on that. I made a cake and it didn't come out as perfectly. And she goes, oh, no, you put the ice cream on top of that, they won't bloody notice. Yeah, right. That's her experience at kids' birthday parties. Blind, chuck ice cream at it.

Oh, no, she ice cream at it. She's a good woman. And you're the first guest, I think, I can remember, that comes from the other side of the Westgate that we've had on. Really? We're a little bit intrigued by the Westgate Bridge, to be fair. Is Michelle dead? No, not the other side.

Not from underneath it, from the other side. The other side, spiritually, of the Westgate Bridge. Oh, my God. Look what I've actually got right here. I know. My Bulldog scars. Go Dogs. As we were booking you guys the other day, I did think two Bulldog supporters, Western Bulldog supporters.

I took the kids yesterday for the first time. Oh, God, it was a nightmare. Oh, look, you know what? It was massive for us, though, and they had their little chips and they got scared of the men yelling and my son, Louis, went, okay, that's going to make my ears bleed. Oh, really? Yeah, there was a man yelling next to him and he was like, oh, fuck that.

That's going to make my ears bleed. And did Louie say that to the man? No, he said it to me like, fix it. So you would have gotten to see live a bit of Danny McGinley's banner work? Yes, we did. Yeah, yesterday's was kind of cute. So you, let's make it clear. You write the jokes for the banners that they run through at the start of the camp.

I try to and often get shouted down by the fun police in middle management. Oh, really? Yeah. How's the middle management of the Western Bulldogs going, by the way? Yeah, Sebastian's going really well. Yeah, our friend James Penlead, his wife's on the board now. Oh, is she? Yeah, James, you know, photographer to the stars.

He's taken photos of us. Of course he has. Jimmy P, he's done everyone. And he was saying to me the other week, hey, me missus is on the board now. That's brilliant. I know. I know she was part of the panel that chose the new coach. Really?

Yeah, because I went in for some shots. You went in for an audition for the coach. Yeah, right. For the coach. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Didn't get a fucking beverage. This is bullshit. Oh, yeah. Well, you failed the singing component, I'm sure. Yeah. Yeah, right. Ditch up. Yeah. Ditch up. Didn't get a fucking beverage. This is bullshit. Oh, yeah.

Well, you failed the singing component, I'm sure. Yeah. The swimsuit bit was awkward. But what was your joke? I can't remember what your joke was. I remember the boys didn't run through it. They ran under it. They'd always do that.

Oh, the ultimate mark of respect. Yes. We can't afford a new banner, so they just reuse the same crepe paper. No, they don't. The letters are Velcro, and they just rearrange them each week. I love that. Back in the early 90s, I think it was a Hawthorne player got severely injured running through the same crepe paper. No, they don't. The letters are Velcro and they just rearrange them each week. I love that. Back in the early 90s,

I think it was a Hawthorne player got severely injured running through it and he got caught around his neck and he didn't play well. Speaking of the Westgate. Like a seagull with a ring pull. See ya. Always cut your banners before you use them and chuck them in the ocean.

Pretty much, yeah. What was your gag yesterday? Yesterday's was, well, we were playing the demons, so it was slaying demons just like Buffy. It's easy. We've got Ruffy, as in Jordan Ruffhead. Yay!

AFL and Buffy the Vampire Slayer together at last. See, that's my thing about when I see your banners, you write the banners and you put a funny one up every week, but isn't a banner intrinsically there for the players to run through and for it to inspire them? So there's not 22 Bulldogs players going, oh, Buffy reference. Well, we're going to smash Melbourne Football Club today. No, boys, let's do this for Sarah Michelle Gellar.

Let's do it. I have it on very good authority the players do not even look at the banner. They don't care. Which is why we throw the gags in and everything. So, yeah. And I got this idiot hit me on Twitter going, that's the shit banner. I mean, I get that all the time from idiots.

You get it from us. That's what I love. I'm doing it now. And he said, Buffy slays vampires, not demons. And so I had to get my nerd on and send him the opening credits where in every generation there is a chosen one. Only she can stand against the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness.

She is the slayer. But, I mean, to be fair to him, it is literally in the title of the show. Yeah, but if you watch even the opening credits, you will understand that you're wrong. And also, if you're having to pull out the dictionary to, you know, defend your banners, maybe

write a better banner, I reckon. Last week's got a bit of traction. We played Fremantle and it was... Wait, how did you pronounce it? Yeah. Fremantle. Fremantle. traction We played Fremantle Wait, how did you pronounce that? Fremantle People always say Fremantle like there's two E's in there Yeah, no, you're right I pronounce it Frio

Frio's easier So we're playing the Dockers Dogs attack the football, Dockers are a bore The Do-kers, you mean Yes, Do-ha We're playing the Dockers Dogs attack the football, Dockers are a bore. The Do-kers, you mean. Yes. Do-ha. We're playing the Dockers, and dogs attack the football. Dockers are a bore. Today, Frio goes down like the price of iron ore.

Ah, get him! McGinley goes political. K-W-A. That would be good for all the Bulldog supporters who also read the Financial Times. Which there would be many. Got him. I tried to do one when we played Geelong, saying Bulldogs are just like Ford.

We're going to make Geelong redundant. Oh, yeah, that's not bad. Yeah, that didn't get through. Oh, come on. That's good. You're the one that actually smashes the opposition. That's good. Yeah, they're very actually smashes the opposition. That's good. Yeah, they're very antsy about specifically bagging out the opposition,

so I'm always amazed when we get one through. I do. I love it when you get in trouble for your banners. Like, we talked about this, I think this was last year, but you got in trouble for a Westgate Bridge reference on one of them, which I've never had more respect for you. And I mean that with all love and sincerity. Yeah, when we played the Sydney Swans, I put Westgate Bridge...

Sydney Harbour Bridge. Telegraph wrote a full article about not only how it was stupid, but how it was wrong. They put all these bridge facts. Because you measure it from the girders or some shit. That's great, though. You got them working. Yeah, I made Daily Telegraph actually check facts.

Yeah, well done. Yeah, go slay a demon on the Westgate. Go slay your inner demons on the Westgate. Maybe I should put, should I throw in some more Dumb Dumb Club in-jokes in there? Please. Oh, absolutely. Please do it.

What's some that I could? Carl's couch. No one cares. If you could get a got him in there. Yeah, got him. Hashtag got him. That'd be good. Yeah.

Get a got him in there. All right. If you can get a moose reference into a football banner, I'd be very, very impressed. Oh, chocolate moose. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. All right.

Get just our logo. Well, on the branding thing, we should follow this up very quickly. Michelle, I notice you have a tattoo on your arm there. I have a couple, yeah. What a tenuous link this is. Is that a tattoo? Is that actual permanent there? Yeah, my kids drew their self-portraits on there.

That's so cool. Oh, wow. That's great. That's actually a. Oh, wow. That's great. That's actually a really good tattoo because it does genuinely look like your kids have drawn that this morning. Yeah, yeah. That doesn't look like a tattoo. No, because it's in the colours.

It's colour, yeah. Yeah. How old is that? It's about maybe a year old. They were four. They're five now. Do they continually try and scrub it off and go, I can do a better one now, Mum? No, they're drawing themselves now. you know, and they're like,

when can I get a tattoo? Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. You are so other side of the West, guys. Yeah. Like, when are you 12, dickhead? I told you so many times. Yeah.

Well, we talked a couple of weeks ago on the show, a friend of the show, Demi Lardner, a comedian. She has a lot of tattoos and we were jokingly saying, like, what, you know, jokingly said, would you get the logo of this very podcast tattooed on you? To our surprise and horror, she said yes. So we started a crowdfunding campaign to get the money, to pay for the tattoo, and we've done it.

We've reached the goal. Thank you to everyone who donated. Very generous of you, especially thanks to... Don't worry about Nepal, everyone, reached the goal. Thank you to everyone who donated. Very generous of you. Don't worry about Nepal, everyone, by the way. This was the great thing. So people, when they donate, they can leave a little comment. And the comment section of that, as you would expect of the people who, the animals

that listen to this show, was... The people who are aware of this show. Got him was said about four times on the list. Someone said it was either this or Nepal. Oh, yeah, right. Someone said, after this, how about a crowdfunding campaign to pay for Tommy's high school graduation and Carl's wedding ceremony?

So there's a lot of good stuff on there. We got over the line by... The people who listen to our show don't like us very much, by the way. The final amount for the first part of it came from Nick Cody. Just $50 showed up in there and the comment, I'm drunk in Adelaide. Yeah, Nick Cody. So now this is actually happening and I start to feel guilty

that we've kind of, you know, in some way taken advantage of Demi's youthful naivety. Oh, Tommy. She's going to have this forever. Tommy Little and I are always looking for dumb tattoos to get. He's got more than me, granted. But he, like the other week, we had a game of tic-tac-toe on his body, on his ribs, with a tattoo gun in real time.

Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He won, and it was to prove... Well, he didn't really, but... Well, exactly. He reckons that proves he's smarter than me. Any time I'm watching tic-tac-toe, I always think, this is too fast-paced and exciting.

Can we slow this down a little bit? Can we make this go for a few more hours? I always think, man, if only I could keep this game in some way. We're always looking for dumb tats to get. Were you noughts or crosses? I was noughts. And he won, yeah. We were going to get a fisherman fishing off our ankle bones at one stage,

us and Daisy Thomas. And then Daisy pulled out. He'd probably be out for four weeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Poor bastard. Pulled his own shoulder out just to get out of the tattoo. Also, we got to the first goal very quickly, like within like an hour.

And then I start to feel guilty. So we put a second goal, which was, in fairness, Demi's getting our logo tattooed on her body. I don't have any tattoos. So she is now, we reached a second goal, which was, in fairness, Demi's getting our logo tattooed on her body. I don't have any tattoos. So she is now, we reached the second goal, which was to pay for Demi designing a tattoo that's going to go somewhere on my body. So I've given control of my body over to her,

which I'm quite nervous about. Her first draft is a sketch that she sent me that she's done on, like, Microsoft Paint. It's me as a stick figure wearing a T-shirt that says I heart pussy and pussy is spelt wrong. So again, I mean, any listeners, if you've got ideas, feel free to hit her up on Twitter, put them on our Facebook page. It's hard not to love I heart pussies or whatever.

It's hard to beat that. Pussy. Where are you going to put it on your body? On my pussy. It's got to be visible, right? I haven't, yeah, I'm going to like that. Pussy. Where are you going to put it on your body? On my pussy. It's got to be visible, right? I haven't, yeah, I'm going to, like, the arm or something. I mean, it depends on what we end up, you know, what she ends up finally picking.

It might fit better on your neck. Yeah. Yeah. You've got to wait and see. The face. Well, so this is the thing. When we announced that second. How are people going to know how much you love Pussy

unless you have it visible? What's the point, man? Well, so once we announced that second stretch goal, after donating that $50 to get us to the first point, Nick Cody then calls me immediately and goes, I will put in the $200 right now if you get a tattoo that just says nickcody.com.au. And, you know, like I love Cody and Cody's

you know had a lot of success and you love his website great online content on there but you know what this is no offence to him I just

I don't want to be linked to him in that way because I don't trust him to not fuck up somewhere down the line do you know what I mean like I'm sure there were people maybe in the early days

of the footy show that were like this Sam Newman guy's pretty cool I'm going to get his head tattooed on me you know what? No. You know what?

If I was Cody, I would just get nickcody.com, ditch the dot, put just child porn on that website from then on. But, like, how's that going to stitch me out where it's like I'm intimate with someone, I take my shirt off, and they're like, wait a minute, I know that website. It's that famous child porn place. Or they see it and then they go home and they look it up and they're like, wait a minute, I know that website. It's that famous child porn place. Or they see it and then they go home and they look it up and they're like, you, sir, are a monster.

You have to find a way to make it, change it. Like, Nick Cody, comma. I'll get nickcody.biz, but that's as far as I'll go. Dot biz. So, yeah, this is it. It's a lot of responsibility for Demi. Nah, you know what? Don't take tattoos too seriously, man.

Just think it, get it done, live with it. Just do it. You can always get it covered up. Who cares? Who cares? How many have you got all up? I have three at the moment. So I've got the kids on one arm.

I've got this flurry one on the other that was my dog's tail. And then I've got a shit one on my shoulder that's like a coil. It was the first one I ever got this flurry one on the other that was my dog's tail. And then I've got a shit one on my shoulder that's like a coil. It was the first one I ever got that is a spiral. And around it, it says, fortune favors the bold, but in Latin. Oh, shit. Shit. What is it about Latin? It's cool, man.

No one knows how to read it. So why does anyone get any Latin done on anything? I don't know. And when did it become the anyone Get any Latin done on anything I don't know And when did it become The official language of tattoos Yeah I don't know Latin and tribal

And you know I can't think of anything else So I'll get tribal And then I'll get Something in Latin I used to learn Latin I wish I'd stuck with it Just so I knew

What everyone's tattoos say Do you really Yeah But no that's interesting Because it's like Latin died out for a reason You know And then people are like

No no no Let's get that permanent On our body Yeah and my teacher Was the worst with it Where he would go People because it's like Latin died out for a reason. Yeah. You know, and then people are like, no, no, no, let's get that permanently on our body. Yeah, and my teacher was the worst with it where he would go, people say it's a dead language. It's not a dead language. All of English is like founded on Latin and all this stuff. And you go, yeah, man, you can't order a hot dog at the footy with it. So it's a dead language. Like, you know, I'm derived from my grandpa and he dead.

Like, you know, you can be. Spoiler alert. Why don't you get another dead language? That was going to be the big twist at the end of this podcast, that my grandpa's been dead this whole time. We're going to bring him in as the third guest. Why don't you try and popularise another dead language? Get a tattoo in Aramaic or something, or Mesopotamian.

Oh, Aramaic. That's not bad. Demi, if you're listening, there you go. There's some ideas. I don't even know those words. Well, it's because they're dead. They're the old biblical languages. Yeah, Jesus spoke Aramaic.

Mesopotamians were a people, and I just assumed that they had a language. What is Aramaic? Aramaic. Aramaic. You'd think if Jesus spoke it, that it'd sort of stick around. Usually, he's done a lot of stuff that people are into. Passion of the Christ is in Aramaic. But no one was into any of the stuff he did until

150 or so died. He's the Van Gogh of religions. He didn't sell a single thing while he was alive. He's the Nick Drake of religion. I get it now. That's a sweet reference. Yeah. What other outdated things can I get as a tat? In my chest I'll get a map of New Arnhem Land

or something. Can I? Yeah, of middle management in this tattoo? Absolutely not. All right, Sebastian, what have you got? I think I should be slightly more responsible than Demi. Given Demi's track record, she's got 17 tattoos. Don't bag out open slather. It's only had one episode.

Oh, Jesus. Come on. Shout out to myself in the edit suite. Looking good, man. Spoken by Danny McGinley, ex-entertainment division. Better pencil in some more meetings at Nova, because Foxtel are done with you. Foxtel are ringing. They're saying they've never heard of you, and you're

fired. No, have I ever... Because I've got one tattoo, so I'm not a clean skin. I'm not like you. I've got one. Have you got something? No, I'm pure breed. You're a clean skin? That's bullshit, mate. You're pussy.

You've got a wife, haven't you, and a kid? Let myself go. Get on it. I just don't care about anything enough to get it permanently there. Get their names tattooed on you. I know their names. Get your wife's name tattooed on you, so it'll be more sad if she leaves you. Just up the stakes, man.

You're going to work a lot harder if you know you've got to keep someone in your life. Because now your skin's going to be out of date. Just make sure the next girlfriend you get, she's like, who the fuck's this? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because my wife's got a Ukrainian... Lauren Capper's got Joanne,

and so for a while he only dated Joanne's. I love it. That won't work with Lassia. Yeah. You're going to have to do some work. You're just going to have to move. Actually, that's a good idea. Good, yeah.

Please do this. I don't get people get their kids' names tattooed. I know. I'm never going to forget my kid's name. I should just get random strangers who I sort of think I know. Yeah, that's a really good idea. People you meet at parties. Yeah.

Check my army. Malcolm! It's a weird good idea. The people you meet at parties. Yeah. Check my out with Malcolm. It's a weird compulsion. Both Tommy and I have it. Like we obsess over tattoos a lot. We spend a lot of time in this room talking about tattoos. Yeah. Looking at pictures of tattoos, deciding to get tattoos, changing our minds about the tattoos, booking appointments for tattoos.

Well, I don't know if I've told, I've got like one little tattoo and I got it about 10 years ago and I sort of freaked out a've told, I've got like one little tattoo and I got it about 10 years ago and I sort of freaked out a little bit because my friend got like this awesome tattoo, big massive back tattoo, very detailed and I went, you know what I'm going to get it, I'm going to go through your guy your guy's obviously awesome, so I rock up to the tattoo parlor with my friend

he's like, oh he's my mate, he does the tattoos whatever, he's like, yeah no worries, I'll look after you he looks at my design which is just a 10 that I have on my chest, just one zero. Your favorite TV station. Yes. Yeah. Plays the circle if you're listening.

Just every minute you're like, what about this? Seriously, look at this tattoo. Go on, touch it like on the ads. Yes. I'll get this and I'll show you. It's a pretty simple tattoo right there. Oh, yeah, cool. So he sees it and then goes,'ll get this and I'll show you. There. It's a pretty simple tattoo right there. So he sees it

and then goes, oh yeah, I'll do it. Oh. I'll just see if the work experience guy is available and just. Beneath him.

Yeah, it was beneath him. It was too simple which was horrible because then the guy who did it I reckon had some sort of brain injury. Okay.

Yeah. Okay. You've got to watch that at the tattoo party. Yeah, exactly. And, you know, I'm reasonably finicky with anything, let alone things are going to be permanently on my body. Yeah.

And being a, like a, coming up through, being a graphic designer, that's what I did for 10 years. Sure. I want it to be perfect and whatever. And this guy does it and he just sort of freehands it out and traces like this 10 and just does it completely cockeyed. And I have a meltdown in the tattoo studio. Just go,

mate, are you aware? I don't know if you've done this before, but this is going on my body for real. And I'm a fucking graphic designer. I'm not having shit like this on my body, buddy. Have a think about it.

And he would absolutely shit his pants. I was like, oh, I, you think it, I'm just doing a quick $50 job or whatever, but he loses his mind and he goes,

ha, ha, and then you could feel him, it probably came out worse than it should have been because you could feel him just go over and over and over and over to make sure it was any good.

Jesus. What's the 10 for? What's the 10 significant for? Oh, it's just sort of my favourite number. I just, yeah, it's like a soccer sort of number. You know what?

In soccer, 10 is the number of many of the great players. Great. Yeah. Pelé, Maradona, Chandler. You know how it goes. I get that. Can I say quickly in reference to that story, you refer to the tattoo artist as having some kind of brain injury.

You've told that story on this podcast not five weeks ago. Oh, really? Pretty soon the 10 is going to stand for the number of times you've told that story on this podcast not five weeks ago. Oh, really? Pretty soon the ten is going to stand for the number of times you've told that story. Really? Did I really tell it? You've told it this year. You've told it within the last,

I think right before festival. Well, I missed it, so I appreciate it. Hey, you know what? It's a great yarn and I'm always happy to hear it again. Bloody great yarn. That's the only tattoo story I have, alright? We're talking tattoos.

Do you guys know why I write the banners? I should get that tattooed so I remember. Man, I thought I was tired. I'm tripping now. Michelle, you would have done like a phoner of, sorry to use radio talk everyone, but phone in and tell us what's your worst tattoo. Absolutely.

And many times, probably three times this year I've done that. Did I ring in? Hey, long time listener, first time caller. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you have a favourite that someone Did I bring in? Hey, long time listener, first time caller. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you have a favourite that someone's called in with? Oh, always the homemadeys. Oh, yeah.

How do you do it homemade? We were drunk. My mate got a machine from eBay and he went to, and someone, I saw this one time, we had someone come in and she'd tried to do like Papa Smurf, but then it just ended up this thing that she then tried to make an octopus. She's gone from Papa Smurf to octopus. That's how bad it was. Mr. Squiggle style tattoo. Turned her upside down.

Yeah, it just ended up this awful bit of shit on her foot. That really ugly spot on top of your foot where nothing looks good. You know, my first girlfriend, probably I'd assume the first time I saw her naked, she had this terrible tattoo. And I was like, what's that? And she's like, oh, just a tattoo that I got. A friend just did it in the backyard. And I was like, oh, I'm going out with you.

Oh, God. Yeah, where was it? What was it of? It was like a gnome or something. Like, who needs to remember a gnome for the rest of their life? And where on her body? I think it was like her hip or something. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, oh. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, let's see then, when I... I reckon a gnome would need some sort of expertise. You don't want to... Like, a gnome needs a bit of detail. We need to think that a girl that took such little care of her own body ended up dating you.

It's weird that those two things coexist in the one person. The first time I saw my husband's tats, I'll never forget it. Same thing. First time I saw him naked and what a bonus. I was just like, oh. Bonus isn't the word I thought you were going to say. Did you mispronounce that? No, bonus.

Bonus. I already thought he was really hot and it was happening. And I got him back to my house and it was happening. And then I took his shirt off and I was like, oh, shit. What's he got? Well, this is what's great. He got his when he was really drunk and 18 in Ballarat. So here we go.

The start of a lot of great stories. And he's like 48 now. So this is going back a long time. And so it's like a skull in a top hat with a marijuana leaf growing out of it. Brilliant. On one shoulder. And on the other one is a Grim Reaper, and under it is a scroll that says, Next. Oh! And see, and now, now when tattooists see them, they go, oh, fuck, old school, man.

Yeah. Old school. It's got old school tats. Yeah, that is old school. They kind of think they're cool again. Jesus, Grim Reaper's really stuck with the old technology if he's still using scrolls. Yeah, for sure. Get a computer.

Get an iPad. Fucking hell. He hates the tats, so he never shows them, so they're in perfect condition. You know, they never get any sunlight. Oh, yeah. Yeah, right? So they're stunning. I still love them.

Well, have you ever seen that Tattooed Nightmares show, which is like about a, it's about a tattoo parlor and people come in and they've got, similar thing where they've just been like branded by a friend. Like one guy came in and he had at a party, they'd done the Playboy bunny by just like getting a coat hanger and like fashioning it and putting it on fire. And it's great because people's tattoos are shit, which is great. And then they do a bit of like dramatization of the story, like as They're putting it on fire. And it's great because, so people's tattoos are shit, which is great. And then they do a bit of, like, dramatisation of the story, like, as they're telling them the story about it, which is real bad.

But then, so the tattooist's job is to sort of, like, cover it up and make it good. So they tell them, you know, here's what I'm interested in, here's the stuff I like, here's the sort of design I was thinking. And they, like, stress and it's like, oh, how are we going to be able to cover this up because it's so thick and it's this bit? And they end up doing it in, like, you end up doing it well in the end of everything.

But the way they do it is just the design that they come up with to go over the top just ends up having just literally a big black square in the place where it's like, you haven't worked this in. You haven't made it good. You've just scrubbed over it. This isn't that impressive. A big block over it. I suppose I could make it a big swastika.

I don't know, man. I don't know, man. I don't know, really, what else to do. And then into an octopus. Yeah, you know? Yeah. That should be the show. It's 50-50. They either make it better or they make it worse.

And you go in and you don't get to sign off and you can't see it. Demi, if you're listening, please don't design a swastika for me. Please, for the love of God, anything but a swastika. An octopus with a swastika. When are you getting your tat? Well, I don't design a swastika for me. Please, for the love of God, anything but a swastika. An octopus with a swastika. When are you getting your tat? Well, I don't know. The plan is at the moment. We haven't announced this yet.

We've done it on social media. We haven't done it on the podcast, but we're doing a 250th live episode on July 18. And we're trying to book in the tattoo artist to get it done on the show. Great. But the thing is, Demi getting hers done, the logo of this show, plus me getting one done, that's a lot of time. We can't fit that into one live show. Well, that one, the stick figure with the pussy on the t-shirt, that could be done in

about 10 seconds. Yeah, so maybe Demi gets hers done before, or she gets the end of hers done. This is the other thing we were just saying outside. It then means that our live show is going to have a constant low buzzing sound throughout the entire episode. It's pretty quiet. We did ours on air. Oh, really?

Yeah, it's pretty quiet. We even sort of tried to mic it up a bit. So it's doable, totally. But you've got proper equipment in here. We're recording our show on a Milo tin with a bit of string. But you'll be on stage, right? So just keep the tattoo guy away from your mic. You'll be fine.

So worth it, man. How long to be good? I just want the tattoo guy away from your mic. You'll be fine. So worth it, man. How long to be good? I just want to facilitate this tattoo in any way that I can. Please. Hey, get on to Demi. Offer up your suggestions. Sure. The artist in residence of my body.

Yeah, guys, let us know on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and stuff like that what darts I should have. Yeah. Permanently. Tommy's suggestion is always get someone else's face tattooed on your face. Oh, yeah. I do love that idea. Well, when we were talking about, like, hey, should we have a stretch goal?

And then, you know, I was thinking it would be funny if me and Carl got back tattoos of the Westgate Bridge. But we just get half the bridge each. So when we stand next to each other, it's a completed bridge. What is with you and the Westgate Bridge? What isn't with us? What is it? Hey, you're the one that lives over it. You're the one that drives over it every day.

It's the shit. It's great. I mean, what do you want to know? I mean, it's brilliant. I just got to be fascinated by people who decided that, yeah, this is how I want to go out.

Yeah. The Westgate. Yeah. What do you mean go out? You've got to want it. Die. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Got a bit fascinated by that being the place where you go, wow, this is, if you're going to finish, maybe do it somewhere not as grim as that. It's just a weird...

I used to just drive over it every day. I used to live over in Williamstown, right near where you live now, actually really close. And I used to just drive over it every day and I sort of got scared every day because I read so many things about people jumping off it every day. I'd go, is this the day? Is this the day where I'm going to see something happen?

This is going to be real bad. And I'd see a car slow down and go, oh, this is it. This is it. Well, they put barriers up, but also. Well, this is old school. I used to drive over it without barriers. You have a straight. I mean, yes, same.

But I didn't like obsess all the time about when someone was going to jump off. Oh, yeah. Well, I did. I had to Google the lifeline number. Keep chatting. Carl, what landmark well, I did. I had to Google the lifeline number. Keep chatting. Carl, what landmark would you rather people suicided at? I don't know. The Sphinx?

I don't know. That's pretty cool. Just buy some bathtub speed and then neck yourself. Yeah. The Sphinx, yeah. Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco is quite a popular suicide spot. That documentary I bet you've seen. Yes, I have.

Yeah, the bridge. And it's about they just left a camera on Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco is quite a popular suicide spot. That documentary I bet you've seen. Yes, I have. Yeah, The Bridge. And it's about, they just left a camera like on Golden Gate Bridge to sort of show a year's worth time lapse and they just filmed about 600 people. Oh, wow. Which really sort of ruins the opening credits of Full House. Yeah. It really does.

But I focus on the positives of the West Gate. Like coming in, I get the most beautiful view. It's gorgeous. There's Tasman, Abel Tasman and there's, in, I get the most beautiful view. It's gorgeous. There's Tasman, Abel Tasman, and there's, you know, it's a beautiful view. Fairstaff Funship. Oh, my God, right? The KFC at the base of it.

Okay. Sure. Two KFCs at the base of it. You know, and then coming off the other way, not that much to look at, but I'm nearly home. I focus on that. I'm nearly in beautiful Altona by the beach. Well, you're cup half full of Westgate.

I'm cup half empty of Westgate. I'm cup, like, fully full. Yeah. Okay, 13, 11, 14, if you are having suicidal thoughts. Westgate thoughts. Well done. The Westgate hotline. Not Westgate thoughts, mate.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. I can't help but think of both of them. The Bulldogs had a, every year, footy teams had a membership drive. And they had one called the Western Front because they're called Western Bulldogs. And the symbol was the Westgate Bridge. Oh. Great.

And that year we came, I think, last. I think we should name the Western Bulldogs as the official football team of the Little Dum Dum Club. Should we? For the amount of time that McGinley's talked about the banners and the Westgate bridge. Neither of us barrack for them so I'm going to say no to that.

Of the podcast itself. Talking about the podcast as a thing that's bigger than both you and I. They'll be happy to hear this. I think they would love that. They're very good people. I'll pass it on to Sebastian at middle management. Once we get a reference on the banner, sure.

All right, done. If we can get one of our keywords on the banner, I'll approve this. I got him! We need to get him in there. Is there a Tim that plays for the Western Bulldogs? Surely that could be a reference. Got Tim. Got Tim.

You just need to do something, something, something. We've got Tim. Whatever. Yeah, all right. I'm looking at the playlist now. You could probably do this after the show. No, we'll just all sit here and wait until you look at the list. This is great content.

I heard a rumour. This is like, this is heralds unconfidential. Is this more Denise Drysdale stuff? Yes, this is more ding dong. More ding dong stuff. I heard, this might be a vicious rumor. Feel free to dispel this rumor. I heard that recently you've bought some bean bags for your kids.

Yeah. Oh my God. Is this true? How did you know that? How did you know that? We do a lot of research on the way in here. They're not really bean bags anymore though. They're like these weird air cushion bags.

Yeah, right. Yeah, we got them at Bunnings obviously. The home of bean bags, yeah. Yeah, we got them at Bunnings obviously. The home of beanbags, yeah. Yeah, and you pull them out. They're like tightly wrapped and you pull them out and they just kind of over the course of the next half hour just sit up into chairs. So this is new technology for beanbags. I think so, yeah. I didn't think there was room to move.

Well, this is it, but I can't go beans. You can't go back. I can't do beans. No, they get everywhere. Kids pop the bags. They go everywhere. Dogs chewing them. Yeah, yeah. Because, Dastla, you... The bean makers of this world, yet another honest industry that's been put out of work

by technological progress. Yeah, so true. But yet another industry has sprung up. True. The air industry. The air industry. They've lost the bean bag industry, so now they can only sell it to kindergartens, so they can stick those beans onto paper and stuff like this. Yeah, yeah.

That's the only... And the kids can really choke on them. Take them off their noses. It was great for the macaroni industry. Once word got out you can stick this stuff on a plate, it went through the roof. Yeah, I had a Fonzie beanbag when I was a kid. Oh, really?

I loved it so much. It was made of denim, and it had Fonzie's face on it. So you're sitting on Fonzie's face as a kid? On his lap. On his lap. Okay. Even worse. That's perfect because he used to say sit on it.

Right? Yeah. Right? You were the meat in a Tuscadero sandwich. I was. Oh. Yeah. That's good.

God, I loved Happy Days. No Tim's in the Bulldogs list. Sorry, guys. Okay. Got him. Three Toms, though. I didn't get him. Well, I live near Days. No Tims in the Bulldogs list. Sorry, guys. Okay, got him. Three Toms, though. I didn't get him. Well, I live near a beanbag store.

King Kahuna. The Big Kahuna. Oh, do you? It's King Kahuna on Nicholson Street. They're going out of business, aren't they? They've been going out of business for about five years. They've had more closing down sales. Oh, is it beanbags, lighting and rugs?

Is that it? Yes. Because there was a shop on Church Street, not very far from here, that was perpetually just out of business, I reckon, for 15 years. Yeah, there was a rug shop just there that was as well. Yeah, because I remember actually going past

and forever, the whole time I've been coming to Melbourne, it was going out of business sale. And then one day it had gone. I was like, oh, fuck. They could have given us a bit of warning. Like say we're actually doing it this time. Yeah, I remember when I was a kid being on Chapel Street and there was a store that I have now come to realise was doing that.

It was like closing down. I was like, oh, I like that T-shirt. I'd better buy it before the shop's gone. And then I walk past it now and it's still there with the same. And it just reminds me that I've grown up. I'm like, was I ever so young? That I believed the closing down sale. Yeah, I believed the hype.

How much would a rug cost? Maybe just if someone buys one, that's them. That's another week. We've got another week. I don't know. But that's because rugs are quite dear. So all I need to do is shift one or two, don't I? I think.

I don't know how much they ought to buy. I don't know what their margin is, guys. Yeah, yeah. I'm not sure. That's weird. I reckon it'd be very hard to find a full price rug. I mean, they're all discounted. Yeah, you're right.

Like, who's paying tax on an Opel these days? You know what I mean? I'd have made the board a rug in Egypt and he paid the money and then they said, oh, we'll just ship it to you instead of you having to lug it around. He's like, oh, perfect. Got home. Of course they didn't ship it.

Never, ever came. Are you kidding? That's just Egypt's dickhead tax. So he's on a trip and he's thinking, I'll just carry a rug around with me for the rest of the holiday. I'll fly home. Also, I was driving past King Kahuna the other day and I saw someone who had just purchased

a beanbag, leaving the store with it, but he'd left and he clearly hadn't driven there or anything because he's carrying it on foot, which I realise I've never seen. I've never seen someone walking down the street with a recently purchased beanbag. And you know, they're huge now. It just looked upside down.

Yeah. But it was just massive. Like, he's just, you know, struggling down the street with it. And I was, like, on my way somewhere else, but I kind of just wanted to slow down and drive alongside this guy. I just went, I've got to know how this ends. How far is his house? What's his destination?

Is he going to go through the city to Docklands? You can't, you're not going to get that through the door on a tram. But if he gets tired from carrying it, just chuck it down on the ground. Relax. Yeah, because you can't chuck it on your bike, and I reckon you could barely fit in a car. Unless you've got a van. Yeah. I mean, I'd love to see someone take it on a tram and just put their own seat there.

That's a great idea. I'm not using my Mikey Pass. I'm using my own seat. I'm concessioned. Yeah, BYO seat. That would a great idea. I'm not using my Mikey Pass. I'm using my own seat. I'm concessioned. Yeah, BYO seat. That would be great. You don't have to pay for the tram if you're bringing your own. Michelle, I do that on Gumtree a lot.

Particularly free stuff, I'll go, oh, take it. And then I go, how am I getting that home? Beanbag style. Am I walking that from St. Albans to my place? I don't know. How am I getting that? I've started on that Gum I get that? I've started on that Gumtree thing, I've started

selling things on eBay for my parents because they're getting rid of a bunch of stuff and they don't know how to use it. What have they got? They just recently sold a big cabinet thing, a big bench thing. Cabinet thing. So type in cabinet thing on eBay. No, it's gone. And this is the thing. Their standards are so... They just

want it out. So they're like, we'll take, just put it up for $20. I'm like, you can get more than $20 for this. They're like, yeah, just put it up for $20. And then it goes for, like, $300 or whatever. And because I then get to break the news to them. And it's like they've won the lotto. They're like, oh, my God. Wow.

But there was the first thing I sold for them at one point, the high bidder, was someone with the username. I can't remember exactly, but it was along these lines. It like the username of like big dong or something like that and i'm just going man my parents are gonna get murdered like this i can't i'm gonna have to knock it but so then people say was he looking to rest his big dong on the cabinet is that that was for is that for storage or he wanted a wheelbarrow to get it around, and that's what Dad was selling. He should have got a beanbag. But it gets to that point where then they win, and because it's my account and my email address and whatever,

so then you get in touch. And I have to get in touch and go, hey, this is actually my parents' thing. I'm selling it for them. I'll put you in touch with them now, which sounds like a scam. Like everyone then writes back and starts going, oh, this is how this begins, isn't it? Yeah.

Sure, your parents. All right, I'll hit him up. Just take my money. Just take me for a ride. But no, it feels good, man. I want to come. Where do they live? I want to come and look at their stuff.

I love people's stuff. Yeah, they live in Brighton. Okay, cool. Is there much left? Check out money bags. Oh, and it doesn't care how much things go for in Brighton. Someone's going okay. And they get you to do it.

What, is the butler busy? Yeah, right. Is this some sort of elaborate scam where do they know this furniture's going? Who in Dussey needs to make rent this week? That would be great. I think that's what's happening. Yeah, they've got, I mean, yeah, they downsized like a couple of years ago. So they've now, and they didn't get rid of everything when they, in transition.

So now they're slowly kind of getting rid of the stuff that they just don't have room for, which is good. I love picking through other people's stuff. Because when they were in the interim, they took everything from their old house and they didn't want to get rid of everything. So they just had this living room that had like a million pieces of furniture in it.

And I'd sit there and go, you've got to get rid of some of these things. This is insane. And I was sitting with Dad on the couch and the phone rang and him walking around like Pac-Man style through the living room to get to the phone and he didn't make it to the phone by the time it stopped ringing. And this happened like several times in a row. And I went, what more proof do you need

that you have too much furniture if you can't make it to the phone? I love they've got a phone as well. By the sound of it, the phone's all they're going to have soon. Daslo's going to sell off all their furniture so I can buy a new fucking PlayStation over here. Good on you. It's a really good idea. It ends up with Tommy's parents just wearing barrels.

Yeah, yeah. Just wearing one T-shirt saying, I love pussay. Hey, these tats got to pay for themselves somehow. Yeah. Yeah, maybe that could be my tat, just an eBay ad for my parents' house. Michelle, doing a podcast like this, is it annoying that we now can't just go,

actually, what have you bought on eBay? Give us a call. No, it's relaxing. It's annoying that we can't do that. We would love to throw to listeners at one stage ever. It is pretty good. People are amazing, you know, and like the weirdest shit you will ask for

and someone will go, yep, yeah, I've done that. We do a segment called, How Have You Done Your Nuts? I thought we were loose on the podcast. you will ask for, and someone will go, yep, yeah, I've done that. We do a segment called, How Have You Done Your Nuts? And we did it this morning. I thought we were loose on the podcast. It's brilliant. People ring up and go, oh, done me nuts one time. You know, whatever.

This guy was like. Was that them getting kicked in the balls? Yeah. Or not necessarily kicked. This one guy jumped on his mate's back at high school, and then he slid down the back, and the mate had a biro in his back pocket. Oh.

See? How'd you do your nuts? Jeez. I gave you credit. I thought it was a metaphor, but no, it's literally... How have you done your nuts? A metaphor for what? Like, you know, have you done your nuts?

How did you... When was the last time you ate a peanut? Give us a call. How have you hit upon hard times? I thought it was like... No, just how have you done your nuts? That classic phrase. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Doing a bit tough at the moment. Wife left me, lost my job. I'll tell you what, I've done me nuts. I like that. This morning we had a good one from the Northern Territory. This guy was... Of course, Darwin. Blind.

He rang from Darwin. No, no, no. I read it out and they kicked us off again. He was blind and then he went out and got on his son's 50cc bike and crashed into a wheelie bin. So it sounds like this really lacklustre kind of issue. He de-gloved his testicle. Oh.

De-gloved. I don't even really know what that means. I guess the skin came off. Yeah. Like all of it. Or he had a condom on at the time. I don't know. Or a glove.

Condom flew right off. Just from a little mini bike in a wheelie bin. Yeah. How have you done, you nuts? a little mini bike in a wheelie bin. Yeah. How have you done, you nuts? See, any story sounds good on the surface, add the element of nuts into it. Suddenly I'm interested.

I'm going to start a new segment on this show. How did you de-glove your nuts? Okay. It's amazing. It's just so exciting when people read it. See, again, this couch thing that I'm determined to pay off, you know, you think it's uninteresting, but I'll tell you what, you do your nuts on that couch one day. There you go.

Suddenly we're hitting pay dirt. It's all going to be worth it. It'll all be worth it in the long run. If that was my couch story, I'd get someone weird on Carl's couch. Yeah, what would you do? This is my thing. If we were on radio, we'd be doing it every day. We'd be forced to make content out of the couch for a week.

What would you do? You'd have to have wacky names. So, you know. T-Dog and the Chan Man. And we'd get people on your couch like, you know, we'd want Mick Malthouse, but he'd say no, obviously. Ding Dong Drysdale, because she'd drop Ding Dong on the couch one day. It's a fully licensed couch. Chicken Lava couch and dry out for a bit.

Yeah, we'd get, I don't know, and then we'd end up just burning the couch down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chicken lava couch and dry out for a bit. Yeah. We'd get, I don't know, and then we'd end up just burning the couch down. Yeah, yeah. Good radio. Based on this episode, we'd drive the couch off the West Gate. Yeah, there you go. We'd chuck it over the barrier.

That is what we would do. We'd get a group of celebs to lift it all up and hoist it over the barrier. Rob Millsy Mills would be pushing it over the top. Oh, yeah. And then we'd do an OB from the KFC at the base of it. Yes! And you'd get maybe your street guy to have a parachute on his back and ride.

You don't do stunts anymore. No, we don't. When I did radio, I started as the stunt guy for Tracy and Matt. A stunt guy on radio. Well, that's Kieran. Is that Kieran? Pretty much, yeah. So what wacky thing?

Because I was going to be thrown out of a plane without a parachute and then skydivers had to come and grab me. Holy crap. What? This is way before public liability insurance. No, we got axed before that happened. Oh, my God. Did you get axed because you kept doing things

that people couldn't see on the radio? Yeah, that's part of it. It's theory of the mind, mate. You've got to be able to build it for a moment. Book a few too many mimes on your show. You've got to be able to build it for a moment. Book a few too many mimes on your show. No, we just take advantage of Kieran's immigration status.

Oh, where's he from? England, he flew in. To give a bit of background, we came in here. You had been in a meeting and you came in and Kieran, the gentleman who set us up in here and has told us that he's hit record, but who knows, you then said, I was just in a meeting about you where we've got a sponsorship thing where you now have to wear a jumper for like a whole day. And he gets no say in this. His body is just up for grabs.

No, all I like he said, oh, you shouldn't tell me because I, you know, if I hear about it, I overthink it. Like, you're going to overthink wearing a jumper. He gets trapped in the jumper and he suffocates. You shouldn't have told him. You shouldn't have given him the heads up. But most of it's just his personality. I mean, because he will work for free food like so much.

You know? And he works at commercial radio. Amazing. Right? He just loves free food, free booze. Like he's a very cheap pet. Yeah, he sounds weird. Yeah, yeah.

Really? No, like who doesn't love those things? Really? I guess. But like really loves them. Like I'm like, no, I don't want to go somewhere just because there's free food. You know? Is that a thing? I mean, that really shows the divide of like where you're at in your career versus where we're at now.

That shows the difference between your pay packet and his pay packet. And free booze has never really, you know, interested me. Free tats? Free tats. I'd go somewhere for a free tat. There you go. That's something. You're right, I would go somewhere for a free tat.

There you go. Can we bring this up? Tommy, I've had many, many, many, many failed attempts at doing this on air, on our show, but, you know, we've... Are they going to break up? You've said that you're a single man. I just want to know how your life's going. Get his tap dancing shoes on, do a bit of dancing,

dance around the issue. No, no, no, I'm not dancing around anything. I'm saying, tell me, how is single life? It's fine. Yeah, I've been on some dates with people. I've seen a couple of people. It's fine. It's very disrespectful to talk in any specific detail.

Is it? Yeah, it is. Who are you rooting? Give us a call. Who are you doing your nuts in? Yeah, it is. Who are you rooting? Give us a call. Yeah, exactly. Who are you doing your nuts in? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly.

Yeah. I think, you know, the listeners have been listening to us for years and, you know, they care about us. They think of us as their friends. Sure. They would like for you to be, you know, having a good time personally. But, sure, like I literally just said, I'm fine to talk about it, but it's disrespectful to the people that I'm seeing

or not seeing or involved with. I guess it is a little bit disrespectful. I think the people you're not seeing are actually fine with you talking about that. I'll fully admit this. Tommy and I are not having sex. I guess it is disrespectful for anyone to be known as someone who's had sex with Tommy Daslow.

Yeah, exactly. That's my main, yeah. I was talking to this girl online the other day and just talking about what we both do and I said, oh, I do comedy stuff. She's like, what? Is this Tinder or where's this? This is a dating site, yeah.

It's a dating app. A dating app. You don't want to name, you don't want to... It's Tinder. You don't want them to get offended? It was OKCupid. OK. I hear great things about it.

No, why? It's fine. It's cool. I hear great things about OKC No, why? It's fine. It's cool. I hear great things about OK Cupid. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you're about to hear one more.

Great. She was like, what sort of stuff do you do? I was like, I do this podcast. And she goes, oh, yeah, I used to listen to that. Oh, no. Wow. Yes. Oh, no. There you Yes. Oh, no.

There you go, mate. There's a little treat for you. Gobble that one up. I'm so glad I brought this up. Gobble that up. Did you say, oh, used to? Yeah. When did you turn off?

I just laughed and I said, that's great. Like, what a great thing to just say. And she was like, oh, I was traveling and it was like, you know, listen to it while I was traveling. And then I came back, I just didn't have as much time. And she didn't realize that you were the guy from that podcast until you brought that up? Yeah, that was what was weird about it.

Yeah. Or do you have like a handle that you use? You know, like LoveBuff69 or something? IHeartPussy. That's my official name on there. Yeah. No, I'm just on there under Dasolo. All right.

Yeah. Shout out there, guys. Yeah, go on OKCupid'm just on there under Dasolo. All right. Yeah. Shout out there, guys. Yeah, go on OKCupid. Have a look for Dasolo. Yeah. That's the weird thing about OKCupid is that people have handles, but when you find someone's profile, their name's not on it, which just seems like a weird thing to,

not that their full name should be on there, but then there's that weird thing where you strike up a conversation with someone, you go back and forth, and you can be going back and forth for a full day before one of you then has to go, hey, what's your name? It just seems like a weird point to have to get to in a conversation when every other interaction you have, that's

the very first thing that happens. I don't know why they hold that back. That's really weird. I love it. I sort of wish I... I was married before there was internet dating. Yeah, me too. I kind of love a go. I actually signed before there was internet dating. Yeah, me too. Yeah, so I kind of love a go, you know, and I did, I actually signed my brother up to eCupid and then he cracked the shits and closed it down.

But I really enjoyed setting up his profile, you know. Yeah, I feel, because I feel really old when it's like someone's got Tinder open. I'm like, so I've heard about, what is it, Swipe? Yeah, Swipe Right. You swipe one way, what do you do? Well, I mean, even, I'm not, you know, I was in my last relationship for like four and a bit years, but that all happened while I was in that relationship, which isn't even, I mean, it's a long time,

but it's not realistically that long of a time. And you come out and it was like coming out of a bunker when all the bombs have gone off. It's like, what's going on here now? Is this what we, I guess this is just what we do now. You're like Brooks from Shawshank Redemption. The world got itself in a whole big hurry. Do you have to send dick pics to people?

I've heard that. You don't have to. This is the thing. But have you? No. Really? I've been, like, it's interesting. To be fair, I actually am not on either of those things

that much like I've yeah I've met up with like a couple of people on there because to me it sort of feels like there are people who you have to really sort of not fuss about I like meeting new people and so if people just come along that's cool but I'm not like they're going I have to find someone right now you're not trying to get married no but that being said I I think I feel like as a guy it's kind of really easy to impress on those things because girls are so used to just having freaks come at them and just straight up go, hey, want to fuck? And send a dick pic immediately.

That as soon as you come in and you're like, hey, what's going on? And you just like talk normally. It feels to me, and I could be reading this wrong, but it feels to me like being on that other side that girls are just like, oh, fuck, wow, a normal one. This is cool. Like it's actually not. Watch out, the author of the game over here.

I think you're right. You just nicked the shit out of me by doing that. You've made me want to do this podcast with you even more because you said that. I think you're doing great. That's great, yeah. So when do, and how long do you wait before you send the dick pic? I'm not sending dick pics. Okay, all right. Yet. Yet, do, and how long do you wait before you send the dick pic? I'm not sending dick pics.

Okay. All right. Yet. Yet. Yet. Yeah. Who else? Yeah.

Do girls send vag pics? Is that a thing? Yeah. I don't know. Or do you send boobs? Or other people's dicks. I don't know. You've sent me a dick pic.

This is what I've worked with before. I thought I'd better send you back one. I don't know. I don't know, but I've heard everyone does it now. It sounds like fun. I'm just going to, I just have to, I just have to flash at my wife. It's not as. No, it's not the same.

But send her a dick pic. Oi, what if you send her a dick pic today and just see how you go? Like right now. That's a good idea. There's that Nova brain kicking in there. Yeah, right? There's a bathroom right there. Go in there.

I'm European, I'll do it now. Okay, great. Do it now. Send her a dick pic and just see how you go. What if you get a tattoo of your dick? Okay. On my dick. And then just go home

and just bring your shoulder down. There you go. There you go. That's mine. And that is anytime you want to see it, little lady.

Yeah. Yeah. I can't believe I didn't remember this earlier, but on the tattoo thing again, my friend was telling me last night his female friend has a tattoo of a dick

along her inner thigh. So just when she's wearing short shorts, in some he can see a little bit of dick peaking out. No, that's not true. It's one of his good friends. He told me. That's unbelievable. I like it a lot.

That sounds like one of those stories about I know the guy, I don't know him, but I heard about the guy that had the dreadlocks that had the redback spider in them. In no way. It's like, how is it that unbelievable? There's that many people out there. There's that many weird people out there.

A tattoo is a very easy thing to get done. How is it that unbelievable that someone just went and got that done? And when you say you like it, do you like it in a, hi, we met on OkCupid or whatever it's called? By the way, you need to know about my tattoo. Is that a moment where you go, oh, shit, yeah. Is that a deal breaker? I do like those things where, like, my profile picture on OkCupid

is just my photo from my poster for the comedy festival, which if you didn't see it, it's me shirtless in a little kiddie pool doing that, like doing a little cutie pie face. And because, like, I think in those things, like, the more, like, open you can be, like if you're a bit of a dickhead or whatever, the more open you can be, I just feel like that's a great, like that's a great leveler. If you don't find this funny, then there's probably going to be no,

like down the line I'm going to say something to piss you off anyway. So the dick tattoo thing is like if you see that and you're into it or you're not freaked out by it or you find it funny, that's like the great equalizer. You know what I mean? Yeah, that tattoo is definitely an equalizer. I think that's really funny. A girl who gets that done is going to maybe murder you in your sleep or also make you laugh heaps.

So I'm prepared to take that risk. I love it. Yeah. Yeah. Great. This is, yeah. Yeah, girl power, man. I'm loving your attitude to dating online.

Thank you. I can't wait for when this comes out on Wednesday and just some fans of the show. Well, speaking of coming out on Wednesday. Yeah, you guys are going to get a lot of dick pics. Yay! Oh, no. No, no, no, no.

Do you ever get dick pics on the text line? Can the text line in it never get pictures? We don't have a text line. We don't want never get pictures? We don't have a text line. We don't want a text line. You don't have a text line? That's just abuse. No, yeah, exactly. We don't have it and we don't have a Twitter line or anything like that

because you just don't want someone going, are you a dickhead? But you have a Twitter. Yeah, I have a personal Twitter, yeah. No, no, like your show has a Twitter. It probably does. It definitely does. It does.

I don't follow it. It does. Yeah. You don't follow your own show on Twitter. No. Wow. When I was a radio jock, we had the text line and that would come through on the computer. And I remember there was this one girl who was trying to date me on there and just doing

like, I'd have prizes to give away. And she's like, I'm 18. You sure do. I'm 18 and hot. Your seed. SMS me. Send it to me. I'll suck it. You know, all of that. Oh'm 18 and hot. Your seed. SMS me. Send it to me. I'll suck it.

You know, all of that. Oh, yeah. And I was on air Monday through Friday. But on Fridays, I played a pre-recorded show of another DJ. And it was a special R&B show. But there were prices there. And she would just send the same text going, I'm hot. Give it to me. Give it to me, I'll suck your nips off.

There was no romance. No. Yeah. She just, whatever the voice is, it's just that time slot that she's attracted to. Yeah. There you go. There's your little OKCupid moment.

That's what it's like. That's what it's like. Yeah, that's true. I love hearing people's stories about how they met their wives. It's so beautiful. I love hearing people's stories about how they met their wives. It's so beautiful. Eight seasons of How I Met Your Mother rolled into one text.

How I Met Your McGinley. I have no idea how long. I forgot to take a note of the time when we started doing this. I think we're getting up there. Yeah, I'm actually running really late for work. Oh, okay. I need to go. Well, maybe we call it there then. Michelle Laurie.

Thank you. Danny McGinley, thank you very much for joining. Oh, okay. So you need to go. Well, maybe we call it there then. Michelle Laurie, Danny McGinley, thank you very much for joining us. Thank you. Danny McGinley, the complete first season DVD is available through your website and has just gone up on iTunes. It's just gone up on iTunes. So if there's any international listeners,

it's not available in the UK, but it's available pretty much everywhere else. Specifically, if any Americans could buy it, so then I know it actually works. I'm still yet to see any coin from that. So when you buy it from the US, do you get the DVD commentary that we recorded? No, you'll have to come to my website for that,

but hit me up and I'll send you the commentary. But if you buy it, then you will sort them out for that? Absolutely, yeah, for free. If you want someone to test it for you who's got a US iTunes account, Tommy Gasolow, who lives at number one Times Square in New York City. The greatest city in the world. Did you see Dave Letterman on his way out the other night? He stayed on his couch.

Really? Wow. Yeah, I sold his show on eBay. That's why he has to give it up. And just to confirm, just so everyone remembers this, McGinley, your DVD has got the two of us doing commentary with Nick Cody and Harley Bray, friends of the show, where we just take you apart for...

It was one of the most fun days of our whole lives. It was so good. It's very brutal, but very, very funny. Can I tell your listeners about my podcast? Yes, please, Michelle Laurie. Of course, Nova and your own podcast. Yeah, the Nitty Gritty Committee is my podcast. Great name.

Yeah, Amir Rah Ramen is the current one, and I think I'll put another one up this week, which will probably be Marty and Fleety from the Comedy Festival. Oh, great. But there's so much editing that needs to be done, honestly, that I haven't listened to it yet. Should be a great 30-second episode for those of you that are on the go, a bit busy.

There's nothing offensive about have you got 20 bucks. No, that's fine. It's the rudeness about other people that has to be cut out. So that's Marty Sheargold, your old co-host. Marty Sheargold.

Now you and Tommy are great on the air but you and Marty were something else. That was really special. No, no, I love Tommy but you guys were so wrong. I know.

You guys were so inappropriate on air. Shigsy's very special. It was great. By special I mean wonderful and retarded. Shigsy's very special. It was great. By special, I mean wonderful and retarded. Both meanings of special. If we could try to get him on the show for a while, that'd be great. Shigsy, just go to where he is.

He's just lazy. If you can make it so he doesn't have to try hard, he'll do it. When you cut that stuff out of that episode, can you just email it straight to me? Oh, yeah. I want to have a listen. Will do. Guys, so, of course, of course July 18th, the big 250th live episode of this.

Tickets on sale now. LittleDumbDumbClub.com It's on a Saturday night so you know it's going to be loose. It's not on a Sunday night like we've done or a Sunday afternoon. This is prime time crazy time. So Perth and Adelaide, we're coming back to you guys October and November. We've booked in the shows. We've booked some guests

we're bringing over and these are going to be awesome shows so again if you're in those places we should have links up pretty soon yep t-shirts we've got t-shirts available

so they're online if you don't live in Melbourne if you live in Melbourne hey hit one of us up if you come to a gig that either of us are at we can bring along t-shirts

if you want to do it that way and if you're on Oko Cupid and you find a user by the name of Dasolo what up girl get out thirst is real Do you want to do it that way? And if you're on Okocupid and you find a user by the name of Dasolo, what up, girl? Get out. The thirst is real. Guys, thanks very much for listening, and we'll see you next time.

See you, mates. Good job. Yay.