The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 244 - Anne Edmonds & Ben Lomas

Episode Date: June 9, 2015

Streaking, Road Rage and Fern Tattoos.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey mates, welcome once again into the little dum-dum club for another week. My name is Tommy Dasolo, sitting opposite me, the other half of the show, Carl Chandler. G'day dickhead. What? I said g'day dickhead. The fuck did you just call me? I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. I mean... What did you just call me? I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me.

I mean. What did you just call me? I mean, hello, friend. You come into my house onto my podcast and use language like that. Oh, man. Hey, we should mention quickly, June Northern is in full flight. Thank you to everyone who's donated so far. It's our fundraising.

That's our campaign. And the name of June, we've renamed it June Northern as in like, what else is it? Movember? Yep. Movember, dry July. And this is, if you're sort of new to the show, it's in honour of that funny time that Fiona O'Loughlin tried to kill herself. And that's the alias that she used. Anyway, June Northern.

The alias that she used to check into a hotel. A hotel where she was going to do that. Yeah. So it's been up for like four days now. I think we're just over $1,600 that people have kicked in for Beyond Blue, which is awesome. So, yeah, keep going on that, guys. We've got the link on our Facebook and our Twitter.

What's been really cool is that people, when they donate, they can leave like a little message for us, and that's been really cool. A lot of people saying very nice things that, you know, it's cool that we're doing that and all that sort of stuff. One person went, this is really cool. How about after this we start a fundraising campaign for Dillarook's gastric bypass surgery? So, yeah, you know, there's a little opportunity for you guys to hang some shit on us or some of the guests, you know.

What's that, Gutvember? So, you know, you've got an opportunity to do something nice, but within that there's a little comment box where you can be a bit of a prick. Man, I know, look, this is obviously all our fault, the way that we talk to each other and talk to other people on this podcast. We've created this vibe throughout the thing. But, man, you know what? I'm going to put this out there.

I'm really getting sick of being abused via text message, email, Facebook. I'm at breaking point. Yeah, I hate it. It's really awful. I actually hate everyone that listens to this podcast. I'm copying so much shit and I'm really over it. I know I'm laughing and it sounds like I'm joking, but I'm fucking not. Yeah.

Everyone who's listening, go fuck yourselves. Fuck off, all of you. Never contact me again. Never in your life. Yes. We don't need any of you. All right. Now that everyone's switched off, we can get down to business and have fun.

Two very special guests today on the show. First of all, the man who coined the term disgusting fat fuck, which has become something of a catchphrase of this podcast. The man behind some of the bullying that happens on our podcast. Currently appearing in the comedy channel's Open Slather and also a man who loves comedy. Please welcome back into the little dum-dum club, Ben Lomas. Yes, thank you.

Out of the house on a school night, I guess you could say. Yes, school night. Leaving the kid at home. He's brought a six-pack with him. I don't get to leave the home very often, so let's get fucked up. Because this all kind of happened pretty last minute and I get the impression that you jumped at the opportunity. Yeah, yeah.

I definitely – like it's not often I leave the home having a small little child and when I get the call going, do you want to come over to Tommy's? And I was like, yep. And then I stupidly went to my partner, have you got any cash? She's like, what do you need cash for? On the television. I was like, what do you need cash for? On the television. I was like, are you just doing a podcast?

I might get a coffee on the way. And you'll want, we're five minutes into the podcast. If that, you're one and a half beers in. Yeah, I know. I regret just bringing a six pack. Also joining us on the show, you may have seen her at the Comedy Festival. She just won the Peace of Wood Award at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. You may have seen her, much more of her than usual, at the drunk cast. You might have seen her on Dirty Laundry.

Please welcome back into the Little Dumb Dumb Club, Anne Edo. Hey! Welcome back, guys. Thanks for having me. Hey, thanks for fitting us in. You've just had a huge comedy festival. The Edo star is on the rise. How long do you give it until you're officially too good to do this show?

Never, guys. Never. You'll never leave us? Never. We've been let down before. Ronnie Chang's having secret lunches and not inviting us. McGregor's gone completely off the grid. He has secret lunches.

He had secret international visitor lunches during the comedy festival. He only invited people to lunch during the comedy festival that could do something for him. Right, right. I didn't go, obviously. You didn't get an invite. No. Well, keep working. Was there also Aussies there?

Or was it just internationals? I'm yet to speak to an Australian who went along. Right. So he's stepping it up. He's looking. Well, he does want to move on from Australia, let's face it. He hates us. We're all stupid.

He tells us daily that we're stupid. He does do that. Speaking of the drunk cast, very quickly, I had a message this morning when I was at the gymnasium. I got a text message from who the fuck knows who because, you know, people just text me. Is that what really happens in your life, just abusive texts? Yes.

Really? I can show you them all. But how many do you get a day? Well, that's the thing. Like when did you give my phone number at? About three years ago or so? In about a second's time. It was ages ago now.

It was a long time ago. So it was that thing where I thought, oh, this will die off easy, whatever. No one listens to this show. It must be nice to look back on when you were that naive and you had that much faith in humanity. Yeah, I get more now than ever. Really?

Yeah, I get them daily, I think. Right. Forget the lip-stim statistics. This is the real way that we find out how many people listen to the show. It's more accurate. It's like a set-top box. Every text represents 10,000 listeners. Yeah, this is the new Nielsen ratings. So, I get a

message when I'm at the gym. I did put this up on Facebook already. Let's read our messages. Let's encourage more. Sweet content. What bit of your body were you working on when you got the message? Your delts. Upper body. Only upper body. His dick.

Your dick. Yeah, I was bench pressing with him. Some sweet boner bench presses. About how I said it. His dick. His dick. And I was just

constantly thinking about Carl's dick. I mean, sorry. You've ruined that sweet dick joke. So this is a text message I get

from someone, who knows who, camping with my mate and he whips out the Dum Dum Club drunk cast. Best camping trip going round.

And I'm thinking, oh yeah, sweet, because we did release that Adelaide drunk cast. Oh, far out. I thought you meant the one that I was in. I only had a heart attack. Yeah, exactly. No, I meant the Adelaide one. Right. So then I replied, ah, nice one.

Lucky he didn't have a copy of the Melbourne drunk cast, because, of course, we didn't record it nor release it. And he said, it is the Melbourne drunk cast. I went, what? Uh-oh. He goes, nah, it's fucking classic. I said, can you even understand what's going on? He said, what I'm understanding is you're giving a lot of shit to Dilruch.

Ah, so somebody recorded it on the sly. Yeah, someone's been sitting there. But that was surely going to happen. But, well, see, the thing is, because we're not, you know, when we do this, we're playing up to the listeners because we're thinking this is going out and someone has to hear this. Yeah, we're trying to make this good, by the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is us on our best side. Believe it or not. But you know what you can't hear on a podcast? Boobs. Exactly. So, yeah, you're safe. It's fine. It's fine.

Although there was a nudie run involving some people that may be in this room at the moment. So, that all happened. But this is just an audio thing. Yeah, it wasn't my booth. Yeah, you would have been able to hear them, to be honest. Yeah. Boom, bada, boom. Boom, bada, boom.

Open flabber. Come on in, guys. Oh, man, we could do these jokes without Dil. Awesome. I am not taking over Dil. So, yeah, so someone's bootlegged that. Wow, that's scary. Like I said, because we're trying to do this for people at home.

There, we were just playing to the crowd. We're not trying to make any sense. It was just, you know, it turned into just screaming. Well, I have to be honest. Our sound guy did record it through the thing just for our personal. Oh, hello. Breaking the rules. Just to, you know, get up the next morning and relive the good times.

I deleted it because I tried to listen to it and you get 15 minutes in and it's unlistenable. It just sounds like a dubstep track. It's just people screaming and hooting and making noise. It was a great show, but it was great in the room. It just wasn't great to listen back to. Yeah. So I just find that funny that these guys are out having a campfire

just in the middle of nowhere and just silence. Isn't this beautiful? Let's put this podcast on. Ida's got her top off. To be honest, sitting on a camping trip and putting on a podcast is sad enough, let alone a bootlegged version of an unrecorded podcast. What a couple of losers. Send us a text.

But enough about us. So, Ida, do you want to talk about this, that you did a little bit of a nudie run? Well, I was talking to Nick Cody. What happened was Nick Cody came up to me and said, I want to run nude. And I was like, hello, Nick, how are you? Nice to see you. And then I said, I'm coming.

I'm coming. So then we went backstage and then I started taking my top off and apparently I said to Nick, I just kept saying to Nick on repeat, no puss. No puss. And he was like, I don't care. I'm like, nah, no puss. And then Mooney. Hashtag no puss.

Hashtag no puss. Hashtag no puss. And then Mooney appeared and took all his clothes off as well. I don't know. Should we be talking about this? Yeah, yeah. It's fine. I want to ask you, was that the first time you've done any kind of nudie run?

I want to say this, that we were dancing around it, but then apparently Will Anderson on ToeFop just described everything that happened. Oh, okay. Okay, well, I thought we were trying to keep this secret for everyone. Yeah, I listened to it and he names the people involved and he opens it by saying, it's out there already. It's been talked about. No, it hasn't.

So, yeah, but have you done a nudie run before? Because I've never done one and I kind of – I think it's – Look, to be honest, in my early 20s I was quite interested in doing that kind of thing. Oh, right. Really? Like I just used to like to, I just love the shock value of it. It's a rush. Nothing better than like just

showing someone your tits. It's so funny and especially if, just in a pub or whatever and... I don't know how many people were laughing that night. I think there were a lot of people admiring rather than laughing, to be honest with you. Yeah. Because it must feel like extremely liberating.

It is. This thing that's so private that then you go, well, there's no barrier now. Like, who cares? But also, like, from a female point of view, if Nick Cody's running nude, I've got to run. I've got to, like, represent. Yeah.

So I had to do it. That's where it was. But no puss. No puss. No puss. Let's be clear about that. Ben, have you done any nudie runs in your time? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've done a couple. I did one once at uni and then tripped over and hurt myself. Noosh. Oh. Rock bottom. Yeah, and I remember doing one in a hostel and falling down the stairs. Every time I did it, I was blind. Every time you do it, you're not in the right shape to do it.

I don't think I'm in the right shape to do it. I mean, like, mentally. Yeah, no, mentally. Not physically, obviously. Physically, definitely not. Yeah, no, I've done it a couple of times. But, yeah, I don't really remember doing it. Like, I've never gone, oh, I'm completely sober.

Oh, that was a good one. Fast. That's one to tell the grandkids about. Yeah, I'd like to do it. one. Fast. That's one to tell the grandkids about. Yeah, I'd like to do it. As someone who's never done it and is now 28, where would you what would you recommend as a first? MCG. MCG.

I would do it proper. Right before Comedy Festival with the details of my show written on my back. Yeah, we'll all throw in for the fine. Except I reckon the wrestling to the ground looks quite full on with the MCG. Oh, you get the cops coming in. Yeah, and the arms behind your back. And I reckon it'll hurt.

Because you're breaking the law. So they're really allowed to get you. Yeah. I reckon if you're going to start off, the first one I ever did is you go from one mate's place who lives close by to the next. So you know you've got an end destination. Yeah, right. Oh, okay.

You're just running through the streets. Yeah, so you sort of pierce the start at one moment. Is this in the context of a party or just turning up? It's very funny that you're like, oh, I've got to have an end goal. You can't just aimlessly nudie run and start asking directions after like 30 seconds. None of my friends live anywhere near each other though, so I'd be running from like Caulfield to Richmond.

Just down. In winter. Just down Punt Road. Getting on the tram in the nude. Don't have your mic here. Oh man, you know what? I want to say this. A couple of days ago I, you know what, I think

I'm getting more and more angry as I get older. And that's probably pretty evident in the first minute of this podcast already. Yeah. So I had some road rage. I don't think I've ever had road rage. Oh, okay.

Oh, I just had an incident in the car. Oh, you've got some road rage or something. I've got some too. I've never had road rage before. But a couple of days ago, I was driving and I did this thing where it was like dark. This guy ran in front of the car. It was like not super close in front of the car, not super far away. It was just that. This guy ran in front of the car. It was like not super close in front of the car, not super far away. It was just that distance where someone runs in front of the car.

And it's like, oh, if I was him, I wouldn't have done that. But anyway, we're far enough away. That's fine. He didn't even look my way. He was dressed in black. Jeepers. That was a little bit silly. Yeah.

Anyway, you forget about it after two seconds. Then I drove 20 meters onwards, hit the lights, red light, stopped. Sat there and then just got this weird feeling and then just bang, bang, bang. The guy was bashing on my window. What? And I'm like, oh, this is this guy. He's bashing on it.

So I wind the window down and he sticks his head in the car. So I was going, you nearly run me over, you arsehole. What the hell are you doing? Really? Are you for real, dude? He's like, yeah. Did you wind the window down? Sorry, you arsehole. What the hell are you doing? Really? Are you for real, dude? He's like, yeah. Did you wind the window down? Sorry, just backtracking.

Yeah. There was a crazy guy knocking. You're like, ah. I'll just wind it down. I'll just give him access. I thought, oh, well, this will be something for the podcast. I should mention at this point one of Kyle's eyes is missing. Surprisingly how many times I go, oh, I'll let this happen.

This might be a story. So I wind the window down and he's in my car. He's like in the car going, what are you fucking doing? And I go, man, what are you talking about? And he goes, and then I realise he's American as well. So he's yelling at me, he's American. And then I start going, like then he goes, you drove through that crossing. That's against the law.

You can't drive through the crossing and you did that and that's against the law. You nearly hit me. And I'm going, I didn't drive through any crossing. And then I start trying to listen to his voice because he's American. You know what? I can't figure out if he's drunk or crazy. Or Arch Barker. It's just a different accent.

You can't figure it out. It's just something different. So you can't quite pin whether he's drunk or not. But I'm going, you're saying a lot of things that make me think you might be drunk. Yeah. Because there was no crossing. There's no crossing within a kilometre there. And he's going, yeah, you're drunk, Dad, and I'm going to get you.

I'm going to get you. And I'm like, what are you fucking talking about, mate? There's no crossing. I didn't go near hitting you. Shut up. Yeah. Yeah. Why don't you get your box of shit

car and go and learn how to drive? And me, just bang, here comes the classic champion. I go, why don't you take your box of shit brain and go and learn how to figure stuff out.

Oh, got him. Got him. I got him. To the got him. Got him. Got him. Got him. I got him. Oh, to the got him-a-bill. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. I got him.

I got him. That would have been amazing if you do that and then you just drive off and as you're driving off he just sees that your licence plate is just got him.

Just speeding off into the distance. Someone has to get that. Yeah, yeah. I'm not just waving at the back. You've just been part of the new Channel 10 game show. Got him. You've been got him.

And your cars, you put like the wrong oil in it or whatever, so you're just spewing smoke onto him as you drive off. It's funny you say that about the number plate. So this is what he does. He's still inside yelling at me in my car. Just put the window up. This is annoying me so much. But there's like traffic banked up behind us.

So I'm realising that everyone's watching this happen as well. And he goes, so I go, oh, yeah, why don't you take your boxes, your brain, go ahead and think properly. I'm just bringing everyone back up to date. Actually, no, I want to hear it a third time. Say it again. He goes, oh, I've just hear it a third time. Say it again. He goes, I've noted

down your number plate. I'm going to get you. That's it. I'm going to record. I'm going to get you now. I've got your record. I'm going to find out who you are and I'm going to get you. And I'm like... That's a genuine threat. Yeah, but I'm like, okay, go fucking knock yourself out, man.

Go for it. I look forward to it. Carl's life. The lights change and I drive off and I'm thinking, can that happen? Can you do that? Like how much information can you get off a number plate? Can you go down to like Vic Rhodes and go, right. Yeah. You can if you've got a friend there.

Right. Right, right. So that's what I'm trying to figure out. Because I drove away and then went, oh man, am I going to get... Like, what's going to happen? Because he was also like... The other thing he goes, he goes, you get a box of shit car,

I make so much more money than you, it's unbelievable. It was Arch Parker. He was inside my car telling me how much money I earned. Can I ask how many different fast food wrappers were on the passenger seat of your car? I think the least that's been in there when I've gotten in your car has been three.

That's the minimum of McDonald's bags that I've seen in your car. No, because I haven't been going lately, so there's nothing in there. There's a McDonald's pizza box. Oh, no, no pizza either. No, no, no. There was, to be honest, there was a mousse lid in the back seat. So that was's pizza box? Oh no, no pizza either. No, no, no. There was, to be honest, there was a mousse lid in the back of it.

Just the lid. Just the lid. He even ate the cup and just left the lid. Yeah, so he's like going, and then I'm driving off and I've played it big

and sort of gone, yeah, yeah, good luck, mate. Yeah, look forward to it. And then I drove off and went, man, if he really is rich, what can he do?

Can he actually... But what do you envision is that he would do? Like go to your house? Yeah. Yeah, but then what? Is he going to have the same conversation with you? Well, if he's learned anything, Chandler's going to fucking invite him in. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Open the door. But I thought maybe he could go to the cop station and go, this guy tried to run me over. No, it's going to prove. No, it's useless. It's pointless. But if you had dodgy connections or whatever, you can get someone's address with a license. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Totally. I mean, I don't think it's just public record, but you can act, yeah, just through Vic because your car's registered to you. But what do you do? You bring up VicRoads and then go, I was just thinking, I've got my number plate, but I can't remember where I leave. So here it is. Can you just point me in the right direction?

Yeah, let's try it. Let's spend a day tomorrow trying to get dodgy information out of Vic Rhodes. It's probably easier than you think. Yeah. Yeah. It'd be like disturbingly easy. Man, I hope not because my phone number's obviously already out there everywhere. I don't need my number plate.

But you didn't get aggressive though. Did you, like... What do you fucking reckon? I just repeated what I said. No, but it's like... Because the only reason I had this, this happened a couple of days to me, and this is where I just realised

that I may have some issues with anger. Because I was with Minka, my daughter, and I was with the pram. I crossed the road, and a cyclist who was going way too fast with headphones in skidded, hit the pram. No. Hit the pram.

Oh, my God. Hit the pram. It falls over, right, and I just lose it, right, because I'm like, fuck, and he sort of – he kind of falls off his bike, and then I just grab Minka, and she's already upset. This is a really funny story. Wait.

No, this is – and she's fine. And I pick her up, and he's already upset. This is a really funny story. Wait. No. And she's fine. I pick her up and he's like, I'm so sorry. And this is what I do. I'm like, and he's like, are you okay? I'm like, look, I'm in a bit of shock, but I really want to hit you. And he goes, what? I was like, I can't hit you. I just want to beat the living shit out of you.

And there was this weird interaction where he's like, we don't have to turn to violence. He goes, if someone walks past, I'm going to give the living shit out of you. And there was this weird interaction where he's like, oh, well, you know, we don't have to turn to violence. He goes, if someone walks past, I'm going to give them my chow so I can hit you. And the whole time he looks up and down the road, he goes, look, mate, let's not worry about anything. He goes, no, my daughter's fine. I'm just, I don't know what I'm going to do with this

because I want to hurt you. And he goes, look, mate, no, no. And I was like, because if I don't hurt you,'m going to do with this because I want to hurt you. And he goes, look, mate. And I was like, because if I don't hurt you, you'll do this again. What the hell? Oh, here we go. Batman's in the house. Yeah, no, no. It was amazing.

And I couldn't believe my reaction. I was just like, I think it was fine. You know, like those prams have a million one straps. They've got 18 airbags. But, man, I was so surprised with my reaction. I was just like, let's. I really hope that guy's been watching Open Slather every week and just been like, that's him.

That's the guy. That guy dressed up like Nostradamus. That's the guy who's going to pick the shit out of me. Yeah, the fat guy. The fat guy. Shane Jacobson. What's your road rage? Well, I gave someone the finger on the way here.

It's funny you say that because I very nearly did. Yeah, well, because... And so what happened was I pulled up at the lights. So I... You may or may not know, I'm 36 and I suck my thumb. What? Yeah, I suck my thumb all the time. I've noticed you do that before and I didn't want to bring it up.

When I drive, if I have to concentrate, it goes in. Sometimes I even know it's in there. When I'm sleeping, it's embarrassing. I can't stop. Anyway... Well, I've never seen it. Really? I sometimes even know it's in there. When I'm sleeping, it's embarrassing. I can't stop. Anyway. Well, I've never seen it. Really? I'll show you later.

Anyway, I was sucking my thumb in the car and then I also started – because sometimes if I think of a stand-up bit, I start actually saying it. Oh, yeah. So I was sucking my thumb, then I pulled my thumb out and I was talking to myself. And I looked left and there was a car full of guys and I realised they were just pissing themselves. It was a subject of fun.

So it's a good bit. It's, yeah. And I was like, oh, and they were all like windows down going, ah. And I just, the lights changed and I just gave them an aggressive, like, finger out the window at them. Did you just suck your finger or? Yeah. No, I just gave him a bit of finger.

Because I just, my pride. But I can understand that it would have looked a bit weird. Because they saw you sucking your thumb. You saw me sucking my thumb and then they saw me start talking to myself. Yeah. Yeah, and then this happens. And then topping it off with a sweet bird. Yeah. Are you okay?

Well, see, that's the thing. You're talking about anger. Like, this is another little indicator of where I am. Maybe that I need some – I don't know. Maybe I need to settle down. Maybe I need to do some meditating like Tommy Daslow is doing at the moment. You should. It's good.

I do it. You do it as well? Yeah, every day. I do it. Mindful meditation. You all do it. Does everyone do it? Yeah.

Why do you think I stand up so good? Oh, my God. Do you not do it? Mindful meditation. You all do it. Does everyone do it? Yeah. Why do you think my stand-up's so good? Oh, my God. Do you not do it? That is so embarrassing. Oh, no. I'm begging you. So I play indoor soccer. There's a team of comedians that we play with.

It's actually named after a friend of the show. It's called Greg Larson's Rat World. Greg Larson does not play in the indoor soccer team. But there's a bunch of comedians, only comedians playing it. And I get, you know, I'm a bit of a leader on the field. I heard you're a psycho. From a number of sources. I heard you take it very seriously.

Well, I call it leadership, but anyway. You are one of the great leaders. Hitler, Stalin, Chandler. Hey, all winners, you know. Yeah, Hitler sure showed him, didn't he? He led for a while. He had the last. You can't stay at the top forever.

Yeah, when he blew his brains out, he really had the last laugh there. Hey, like I said, you can't, you know. Everyone dies at some stage, you know. That's what I got out of that story. He's a lot like the Jackass Boys in a lot of ways. We are a little bit aggressive on the field. I'm very verbally aggressive. I didn't used to be like this.

When I used to play in my 20s, I... I didn't used to be like this. Just so wistful. Seriously, I used to be the most timid guy, but now I'm sort of pretty aggressive. But what style? Like, what do you go? He goes the umpires, apparently.

Like, are you going the player? Yeah. But like what? Like, do you go, oh, no, you're shit? Is that how you play? Oh, a bit of that. Like, a bit of everything, yeah. You know, sometimes you be verbal to talk yourself into a game.

And I'm very verbal to our team to try and amp them up and to get them to do stuff. And you talk yourself into it. So then that happens to turn on to the opposition and the umpire sometimes and things like that. So anyway, I got sent off a little while ago for doing that stuff. I've never been sent off in my whole life. But anyway, so I tend to be in a fight every week now.

Every week I'm in a fight. I'm in a fight every week now every week I'm in a fight I'm in a fight every single week psycho so I can't believe there's people left on this team by the way

that still want to injure you if I wasn't injured I would love to play there's a few that have left the team I've gotten rid of some chaff

including Ronnie Chang he lasted one week before he didn't like how I talked to everyone. A little bit sensitive on the soccer field. Very sensitive. Last week, we got

sent an email from the company, whatever you call it, the league. The set bladder of indoor soccer. Yeah, foosball. Thank you. No, it's... Saloon soccer.

It's footsall. Footsall. So we got sent an email saying, can you guys stop calling the other team's cunts? That actually said the C word? Yes. Wow. We got a message from the C word? Yes. Wow. Did you get a message from the administrator of the league saying that?

Oh, my God. And as the leader, did you in any way implement that directive from above? Put that on? No. It's, to be honest, I think nearly every case of that was me. So no one else needed to be told that message, to be honest. Yeah. It's that great thing where it's harder to needed to be told that message, to be honest. Yeah. Yeah.

It's that great thing where it's harder to just say to you, hey, stop doing it. It's like, hey, if we make it a bit broad, then we're not singling anyone out. Yeah. But yeah. Do you do this? Because I used to be like that. I used to be – I've had complaints. Like I used to love talking, but I'd ask questions.

Like that's the whole thing. Like are you okay? Like are you okay? Like, are you okay? Because you're not playing well. Yeah. But did you ever do this? I got told over this. I would pick up the ball and hold play and then have the conversation.

Oh, right. Oh, really? And that's when you're a real wanker. Because you hold up play and everyone's trying to grab the ball. I go, no, let's talk about it. Why are you a camp? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm not proud of it.

Edo, so you've been Yes Like Tommy said You had a great comedy festival Yes And you took part in our shows And things like that And then you went on to do

A thing that the comedy festival puts on Called Comedy Roadshow That goes around Australia Yes Now this is something that you Said as a message to me Is this true or not? Or are you just trying to stir me up?

Oh, here we go. Here we go. You said you were at gigs. And we get this story a lot from people, from friends of the show, that go on this comedy roadshow. And it goes all around the country to country towns and things. And a lot of them say that they come out to see friends of the show because they're fans of Dum Dum.

They never get to see us, unfortunately. You don't do road show for some reason. No, we don't get selected on there. Oh, well. Next year? Yeah, maybe. Yeah, maybe. It's coming up. Get your tits out more. I need to stop getting my puss out. Maybe that's the big

picture. No puss. The no puss road show. You said, because Josh Earl said that he was on Roadshow with you. And Joshua one night, just someone came up and just gave him money. An awesome woman. Now, I'm going to try and remember where we were. It was Queensland somewhere. It could have been Ipswich, but I feel like it was further away than that.

Might have been Proserpine. Anyway, somewhere a woman came up to us and she had an envelope and she was like, I just want you to know I listen to you on the Dum Dum Club and I love it and you do that for free and here's some money. Really? Yeah. Well, she didn't say here's some money.

She said here's an envelope and I thought it was going to be a card or something and then later I discovered just a little bit of money. Auntie style. Just cash. Yeah, just a little bit of money. Aunty style. Just cash? Yeah, just cash. Cold hard cash. And a nice envelope. It was very moving.

How much cash? No, I'm not going to say. We've never talked on this show about how we don't pay our guests to do the episode. How's that gotten out? Yeah. Because she was a lovely person and it was lovely. To Angie? $700.

$700? And you're not getting any. Man, I wish I was a guest on this show. It actually does work more for people coming to your show to be a guest on this show and not be one of the hosts. Yes, it is.

I think Dilrub had more listeners come to his festival show than both of us combined. I. Yeah, it is. Yes. I think Dilrub had more listeners come to his festival show than both of us combined. I think it's a good advertisement for future guests of this show to then tell that story and go, hey, you get some sweet coin for being on this. Not from us. Yeah.

From other people. You put it out into the universe and then, you know, it delivers. I had a lot of dum-dums come up to me. Yeah, it must be nice. It must be real nice. Thank you. That sounds great. Especially that woman whose name escapes me,

but it was a beautiful gesture. Well, you know, if we were on it, we would have made the effort to remember her name. Yeah. I'd love to get the opportunity to go out there and say hello to all these people in rural areas of me and take their cash. And in Goulburn, Maddie and – what's Maddie's friend?

Oh, Maddie and Steph. Maddie and Steph were flyering for the road show because it was a community event that they were putting on. Yeah, they flew down for the last week of the Comedy Festival to see all. They were the perfect, they're the perfect listeners of the show where they come down, they saw all of our shows, they saw all the friends of the shows. Good, yeah.

The friends of the show shows. Yeah, they're excellent people. Yeah, they're maybe the two people who listen to this show who I don't wish to kill themselves. And the woman that gave Ed O'Monty because we could meet her one day. There's three now. We're never going to meet her. We're never getting on those gigs.

Wouldn't it be great? Did this woman, because she gave Josh money as well, didn't she? I hope she doesn't mind us discussing this. Was it the same amount? I presume so. Imagine that if one of you has gotten like way more. Here's how funny you are. 15 bucks.

Or you get 700 and Josh gets a card. Josh gets like a brashest gift card or something. That was very nice. But yeah, it would be nice. Imagine that, Tommy. Imagine that being on the road. But no, you get it when you go interstate like when you do interstate gigs

you get a lot of dum-dum fans yeah that we fly ourselves up for yeah anyway if you're listening and you'd like to see us on

the comedy festival Rocho send a send a stamped self-addressed envelope to the comedy festival locked bag crow's nest

Pyrmont New South Wales please Bendigo Street Richmond label it funny photos or chook lotto hey we need You want New South Wales? Please. Bendigo Street, Richmond. Label it Funny Photos or Chook Lotto. Hey, we should do, we've got a couple of things to follow up on that's been happening on this show recently. I don't know if you guys are aware of this, but a friend of the show, Demi Lardner,

is getting the logo of this podcast tattooed onto her. What part? I don't think. I don't think she's figured it out yet, has she? On her puss? Hashtag no puss. Oh my God. Maybe the square inch of her body

that doesn't already have tattoos on it is probably going to end up being the case. Right. And so I felt bad about her doing that and so I'm now getting one as well that she's designing for me. Wow. So we've got a couple of drafts.

We talked a couple of weeks on the show about her first design was a stick figure drawing of me wearing a T-shirt that says I love pussy and pussy is spelt wrong. She's done a new one that is a smiling dolphin with large breasts. Now I like that one. It's not bad. James Fosdyke has then kind of touched that up a bit.

Just a bit. And added a very detailed vagina onto the dolphin. Oh, my Lord. It looks like something that should be on the side of a Sandman panel van. It looks like something that should be on the back of a wicked camper. Yeah, yeah. So I mentioned to my mum in passing a couple of weeks ago that this was happening and she responded how I expected,

just kind of like, I don't get why you're doing that because, you know because it's generationally Did she answer like this? Okay Tommy, how much money do you need for this? Yeah, got me. Tommy's poor. Borrow money from my mum to fix your piece of shit brain.

To the got him-a-bill. So I tell her that and she's just like, okay, yeah, I don't get why you're doing that. That's a bit silly. And then I see my dad like a week later and he's like, your mum is really devastated about this tattoo. She's really not happy about it. Why are you doing it?

And, I mean, she knows that you're only doing it as part of some nervous breakdown that you're having because your girlfriend left you. I'm getting fucking psychoanalyzed. It's great. To be honest, if you did show your mum the design of I love pussies,

she's spelled wrong. I reckon that's a pretty good summation by your mum. I reckon mum might be onto something. Where are you going to get it? Probably my bar step. What's your argument against that? Against those two insane tattoos going, no, I'm mentally really strong at the moment.

Things are great. No more comedy. It's got a vagina and boobs. And it's a dolphin. Being alone has been really good for me. Yeah. I don't – like Demi is still doing updrafts. Do you guys have any Because she listens

Any ideas? Any inspiration for her? Get a bottom on your bottom Have you got tattoos? No, no, I don't I nearly got one Where I nearly got a fern On the back of my neck

In uni days Because I was a bit of an environmentalist Oh my god Wait, wait She would not have said that. I was about to get it done until someone goes, until a friend of mine goes, you know that that just looks like you look like a New Zealander?

Yeah. And then that's the reason why I stopped. Otherwise I was going to get it. I would have like. And now do you not even give a shit about the environment? No, I don't give a shit. Wow, you get a time machine. You go back and kill Hitler. No, you kill L give a shit. Wow, you get a time machine. You go back and kill Hitler?

No, you kill Lomas' mate who talked him out of getting that fur tattoo. Imagine knowing Ben Lomas now with a fern tattoo on his neck. A fern? Like, yeah. You know those ferns you see in the rainforest are the big... I'd bash you. Yeah. I'd bash you in living daylight.

That's the thing about getting your tattoos on your back because you can't see it. So you're just giving a gift to someone else who's seeing a fern. Who cares? No, I'm glad I didn't get it. I'm not. I'm really disappointed. It's so good.

Have you ever been tempted, Edo? No. You're all clean skins. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want anything to do with any of that. I don't understand why anyone would want to bend over and... What? Sorry, we started to...

No, it's just the thought that little needles going in and out of you. It's wrong. It's not going in and out. Yes, it is. It's a piece of skin. Oh, okay, right. Now I don't want anything to do with that. It's disgusting.

So is the plan... All right, mum. Yeah. Is the plan that you – so Demi's getting her tattoo tattooed live on our 250th live episode on July. Who's going to do it? I am. I don't know all the names of tattooers.

Are they going to be hygienic conditions? No, they're going to do it with an old knife. Of course it's going to be hygienic. We're doing it in a pub that used to be a strip joint course it's going to be hygienic. We're doing it in a pub that used to be a strip joint. It's going to be hygienic. But how does that, can a tattoo artist just turn up anywhere and do a tattoo? We're going to book him. Well, it's not like a doctor in a hospital.

It should be. It probably should be. Okay, mum. Well. No, you're probably right. You're probably going to have to have like St. John's Ambulance on standby. No, no. They've got their own equipment. You're probably going to have to have St. John's Ambulance on standby. No, no. They've got their own equipment.

They're able to go somewhere. All right. We've asked Demi to follow it up. We actually haven't got the answer yet whether you can just hire a tattooist to come to your function like a bloody taco. It won't be cheap. It won't be cheap. No.

It won't be cheap. Yeah, but the listeners have already chucked in all their money. Oh, okay. We got five or six hundred bucks. We've gotten a quote from the guy and we've got the money that he said. Is Demi having a breakdown? I think most definitely. This is me and Demi just like Thelma and Louise-ing it just mentally,

just straight off, straight into the canyon. See you, sanity. Got him, number plate. Oh, got him, number plate, tat. For someone who didn't want to get involved a minute ago, you've just given up a great suggestion. I think definitely there should be more listeners chipping in ideas of what the tattoo should be.

And I think I should definitely have more of a say in what the tattoo should be. Yeah, I agree. I agree with that. Because Demi's just putting silly things that don't mean anything. I think you should have to sign off on it Carl yeah that's a good idea okay what are your

you like the idea of me having got him yes what about just the word comedy why with inner love heart yeah okay inner love heart on your bicep that'd be good

that'd be a good bit but with a lot of O's. Comedy. Imagine showing girls that. Yeah. Oh, dirty. Oh, and then I'd know they've got him. I'd walk.

That'd be a deal breaker. Really? You come home with me and I get the shirt off and I've just got comedy and a love heart. You're like, nah, I'm not. If I know you're a comedian as well, then you've got that. I'm long gone. Even if he's not a comedian, that's just as bad. Nah, it's worse that you're a comedian.

You've got it. I'm going to ruin my whole life. An accountant with tax and a love heart. That's so good. I can't see anyone topping that idea for a tattoo now. The comedy and a love heart. Yeah. It's pretty bad.

I do like the idea of my face on your tie set. What about one arm, you've got a piece of shit car, and then on the other arm, you've got a piece of shit head. Piece of shit brain. Piece of shit brain, sorry. Yeah, fuck. Get the tattooist to cross that out and put brain in there. Oh, man. This is some good workshopping already. Yeah. Comedy and a love brain, sorry. Yeah, fuck. Get the tattooists to cross that out and put brain in there. Oh, man, this is some good workshopping already.

Yeah. Yeah. Comedy in a love heart. Oh, horrible. Yeah, it's pretty bad. It's a good advertisement, though. If you guys are in town, you're more than welcome to come down to the live episode. I was thinking about deal breakers today, like what would be a deal breaker.

And this thought entered my mind that homophobia would – like if I was with a guy and they were homophobic, I'd have to be like, oh, well, see you later. But how do you get there without not knowing? It's especially a big deal breaker if you're with a girl and she's homophobic. She's really confused. No, no, like just – well, you know, like say you're with them for two weeks and then something comes on the TV and they just like let rip.

Like up until that point they're being like normal. Lovely. That's almost you should do that because like sitting down and watching TV with a partner is something that you generally would do, you know, when you're into the relationship a bit, you're pretty comfy. You should almost do that second date. You know, you just have commercial TV on where the relationship a bit, you're pretty comfy, you should almost do that second date. You know, you just have commercial TV on where you see a bit of a multitude of, you know, you watch a current

affair with them and you just gauge their, you just go, just respond honestly to every background, every nationality and just really take their pulse on the big issues. Watch Q&A with them on a first date. Yeah, I reckon that's what I was going to say. But the worrying thought was, so that went through my mind,

and then the second thing that went through my mind was, racism, not a deal breaker. Wow. Wow. And then I went, oh, no. Where's that coming from? Because I think, for me, racism's got more levels to it. And then I'm like, oh, no, this is dangerous.

So if you were there for two weeks and you just said, I'll tell you what, I fucking hate Muslims, you'd be okay? Gay Muslims, I'd go. Wow. No, I don't know. I'm as horrified as you. To be fair, let's get this bit of the program on it. I'm as horrified as you, but I have to be honest.

That thought went through my mind today. All right, well, if you're listening and you're racist but gay tolerant and you'd like to take Edo out on a date, hit us up. Edo. Sweet. Anyway, just at Ann Edmonds 1, not Dundon Club. Don't text me over this one. Don't hang your head into my car and tell me what you thought of this bit.

I know it's wrong now. If you're a skinhead draped in an Australian flag, in a rainbow flag, boy, have we got the gal for you. I don't know why. It was horrible. I'm angry at myself for it. The heart wants what it wants. Yeah, I guess.

Racists. Yeah. And your heart doesn't want people of different backgrounds in this country. Yeah. I guess so, yeah. What was your point to argue? Well, you'll be getting no objection from me. So how do you go in comedy with –

What's it like being a woman in comedy? That's what I thought he was going to say. What's comedy like? Do you get nervous? Is it tattooed? I love it. I love that. So being in comedy, how do you go with – do you get any fans?

Like do you get male fans? Every experience I have with girls in comedy, they tend to sort of go, oh, you know, there's a bit of unwanted attention. Do you get a bit of that? No. No? So you're talking about after you've been on stage. Yeah.

Or via the internet or... So when you're a female comedian, you're a social pariah once you've been on stage. So you go on there and then you just stand by yourself in the corner. So you guys go on stage and then all the girls are like, and like chasing you and stuff. Yeah, that happens all the time. No, but I mean it's a – but girl, like I – another male comic said to me once, what you need to do once you come off stage is let a guy come up to you

and get about three jokes in and laugh at them all, even if you don't think they're funny. Really? Yeah. And let them have a go because they've just seen you be funny on stage. Yeah, because you being funny is intimidating. Yeah. So you need to be able to like – you need them to let them come up

and go, ha, ha, ha, ha. Are you racist? I'll tell you three jokes. The first two are racist. So you're legitimately laughing. Oh, I like him. I like him. And then the third one's homophobic and you're like, oh, no.

Deal breaker. It's a waste of five minutes. I've never had. Oh, there's a few guys that like it but the majority of guys you just don't. But have you picked up after a gig? Oh, here we go. Well, I've had – yeah, like not picked up but like I've – yeah, I've met guys after – nah, nah. Well, yeah, but they've been connected to comedy somehow already.

I've never had a random member of the public mail come up and be like, oh, wow. I love you. I can't wait to drink with you. Oh, really? No. Okay. No.

I really thought that wouldn't be the case. I've heard stories about that, but I've also heard a lot of stories where girls get unwanted attention, whether it's on Facebook or Twitter or in real life or whatever it is. I would have thought there's a lot of lonely men that would go to comedy and just be wanting to. Oh, boy. Oh, well, we.

Well, that's not. Why did you have to go with lonely men? Because. Maybe it's because I've got a head like a busted ass. I don't know. No, and you're a very attractive girl. Oh, what is this? Wow.

Yeah, is this what this is? Are you just trying to ask Anne out? Yeah. No, no, but I'm genuinely interested. No, no, well, look, I'm trying to think. Yeah, look, I do get a – there's a few weird weirdos on Twitter and on Facebook that reply to everything you say. Yeah, there's a bit of that.

There's a bit of thirst out there sometimes. Yeah, a little bit. Jesus. But yeah, I don't know. I just want to see you happy, Anne. Yeah, thanks, Carl. I just want to see you get married. I prefer angry Carl.

Why have you brought me here for this? This is an intervention. Yes, there are – yes, there's a few – now that you mention it, yes, there's a few blokes like that. Okay. That reply to everything you say and do weird things like that. Yeah, okay.

All right. Have any of them asked you out on a date? No. Oh, no. One of them found my Twitter profile and posted it on Twitter. No, Tinder profile and posted it on Twitter. That would be great. Someone just tweets you a link to your own Twitter account.

I know. Found you. So you're on Tinder? No, I was. I'm not anymore. Why? Because I didn't like it. I deleted it.

I like to meet people IRL, guys. Yeah, someone did that to me. Someone tweeted me like, ah, found you on Tinder and with this real vibe of like, I fucking busted you, mate. I'm like, yeah, I'm on Tinder. So, as is pretty much everyone who's seen it. Like, who gives a shit? You didn't get me at all.

Yeah. Yeah, like, how are you supposed to meet people? In the showbiz club? I don't know. Yeah. Down at the Friars Club once a month. Yeah. Yeah.

That'd be good. That'd be good. That'd be sweet. So, Edo, are you – No. Ask it again. Ask it again. Ask it again, yeah. Ask it a bit more.

So? How long do you reckon until you kill yourself, Edo? Yes, Carl. As long as I've known you, I don't think I've known you to have – Oh, my God. To be with someone. Well, the thing is, you, I don't think I've known you to be with someone. Well, the thing is, Carl, I'm a man. No, no, no.

The thing is I don't talk. I keep it to myself. Yeah, cool. You're a gentleman. Well, I've dated a few people and I just keep it to myself. Okay, I respect that. Yeah, because I don't like... Have you dated and then brought them to geeks as well?

Like have you got... Oh, yeah. This is awful. I'm in two minds. I do not want to partake in this but on the other hand, I don't have any content to offer up so I guess I just got to write this out.

Well, we can move on to Daslo because Daslo's got a rich dating history. Yeah, and you've asked me this and my answer remains the same. I'm not going to – You're a player. No, your answer remains this same. Every time I talk to you about it, then all of a sudden it goes missing from the podcast, whatever we say.

Yeah, because like I've said to you, it's not – I'm fine to talk – I'd love to talk about it, but there's other people involved and, you know, it's not fair. You don't have to name anyone. No, you don't have to. So you're just saying after gigs you get a lot of puss? Hashtag puss. Plenty of puss.

I'm just filtering that statement through in my head and seeing if that's – yeah, okay, I'm prepared to put that out there. That's my official statement. I am getting tons of puss after gigs, everyone. What's it like? It's what sex like what sex yeah dude it's fucking sweet so after a gig and it goes really well there's some girls there and you do some of your jokes, you don't have to. Because you live in a different world. I don't think I've ever... You live in a different world.

I've never picked up after a gig. I don't think. You've picked up at a gig. Oh, yeah, I have. That's right. A gig that I wasn't on at. Yes. That's right.

You were sitting in the audience and you picked some weirdo girl up. Yeah. So what do you take away from that? Stop doing comedy. Don't get that tattoo. Yeah, it was years ago. I think it was like right after we started this podcast. It was like very, very early days of the show.

I was single at the time. It was when you used to run Soft Belly, the original version of what is now Portland Hotel Comedy. And I went down. History lesson, dickhead. Edo's shrugged up since the focus got on her. Got me. I went along to just hang out at this gig on a Thursday night.

I believe it was Dave Thornton headlining. And there used to be at the back of that room, there was like a big raised bench thing. So I'm sitting up on there and there's this woman next to me and she's celebrating her birthday. She's quite drunk and we're talking and she goes, do you want to know what the best bit about this is? And I go, what?

And she goes, you're going to be kissing me by the end of this night. And I go, oh, nice move. All right. Yep. And then so we go to the break and then the gig comes back. Dave Thornton's on his headlining. And about halfway through his set, this girl just leans in and goes for it, starts making out with me. And meanwhile, because we're on this raised bit at the back.

It's like a bleachers. Yeah, there's a light above us. And so that's like the one bit of the room that you can see from on stage. So I kind of open my eyes midway through and I see Thornton in the middle of a bit go, yeah, anyway. And then you just like kind of notice it. Is that my friend just making out with some girl in the middle of a bit go, yeah, anyway, and then you just like kind of notice it. Is that my friend just making out with some girl in the middle of my gig? I'd be genuinely upset if you did that.

Would you really? Would you address it? You would so address it. There would be comedians that would break down and have a fit because you weren't paying attention to their comedy. I'd have to address that. Yeah, definitely. You'd have to. You'd have to go that. Yeah, definitely. You'd have to.

You'd have to go, what the fuck are you – Yeah. What are you playing at? That's more interesting than anything any of us have to say. Yeah. There's someone making it up. Yeah, totally. It's in the middle of my racist jokes to stop and just –

Racist, eh? Yeah. All right. All right, I'm going to do it. This is going to be my new improv game. I'm going to turn up and just start making out during all your gigs and just see how you handle it. It's my new thing. Yes, please.

It's my new challenge. It's the new set list. Who are you going to make out with, Lonely? Someone real homophobic. Yeah, that's great. Because I basically got into comedy and then got a girlfriend basically immediately after that. I don't have any cool stories like that. It's never happened. Great story, Carl.

But what I was going to say is… When was the last time you kissed your girlfriend on the mouth? Oh, no. That's not right. That's not right. That's all well and good when we're asking me about my life, but okay. What year is it now? No, I once had a comedian early on.

I just once had a comedian crack on. And literally, I think the message was, it was a comedian at a gig and they sent me a text message saying, I'm staying in a hotel room X amount of distance away I was like oh that's cool and then they said you should be here and I'm like yeah that'd be cool wouldn't it I have a good night and then they said I will pay you $200 if you come here you've told me this many times I'm gonna say I don't believe a word of that I do not believe. I do not believe it. Absolutely true story.

Why would you make that up? It's such a weird thing to make up as well. Is it a boy or a girl? Girl. Well, you don't know. Yeah, you don't know. I don't know. Right.

Well, that narrows it down significantly in Australia. Are they still doing comedy? I don't want to go any further detail. They were wealthy enough to have – they were doing well enough to have a hotel. Yeah. Look, all I'll say – How is Fiona? All I'll say, her last name was Edmonds.

That's all I'll say. No, that's not true. The story is true. Did you do it? No. Okay. Did you think about it? No.

Do you regret it every waking moment of your life? Why am I still talking about it like seven years later? $200. $200 for Chandler. Yeah. That's not much, you know. Yeah, but that's a better paying gig than most gigs I do, obviously. Well, that's true.

Which are paid by you. Wake up to yourself. $200. That's a good earner for... Apparently sex costs $300 from a prostitute. Really? Yeah, that's what someone told me. $500.

$600. Did someone you talked to, did someone... Someone had been. Acquired services. Yeah. I've got a friend who's a bit addicted to it. Really? How horrid.

Yeah. I... Addicted? Yeah. Man. That? How horrid. Yeah. Addicted? Yeah. Man. That'd be costly too. Yeah, it's ridiculous. Oh, God. And did they say, and so they said 500?

Yeah. Right. It's not really enough. What's your friend's full name? Yeah. 500 an hour. 500 an hour. Right. And, yeah. $500 an hour $500 an hour Right

And Yeah I had friends That did that Early on For a while And I was like But they'd do it

Together Oh lord We're wading into Some rotten territory I don't understand Like how Together I can't believe

You think it's that weird I don't even like One other person Being in the room While I'm having sex Like I just don't know how you can pay for it. I lived and

worked in the red light district in Amsterdam and even on a lot of drugs and a lot of drugs, I couldn't bring myself to pay for it. No. Horrible. Even when I was on drugs, I wouldn't pay for it. What does that mean? No, because you're so high. When you're high, you're just going, oh, I want to be awesome.

Have I paid for sex? No, no, I wish I had less of this money. Fucking do it. Especially just like, yeah, in the red-light district, it's even seedier than actually having an escort come over to your house. They're just in front of the windows going,

is that going to fuck? 50 euros? You're like, oh. Because I'm always going to Thailand all the time. People always accuse me of that sort of stuff, but obviously that doesn't happen. You just like the cocktails. Yeah.

I just like really cheap beers and hot weather. It's good. It's actually quite boring. I just go over there and go in the pool. Don't even go on the beach. I just go in a pool. I'm like, you could probably do this at home. I'm like yeah I could

yeah sneak a six pack into the Harold Holt pool yeah you're done yeah that's a cheaper tile I think that's the I think that's the main difference

you can drink in a pool over there and you can't do it there and that's why I get on a plane worth it yeah well guys I think that brings us

to the end of the little dum-dum club for this week Ben Lomas and Edmonds thank you so much for joining us thank you for having me Tommy and Carl week. Ben Lomas and Edmonds, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you for having me, Tommy and Carl. Very nice.

Ben Lomas, Open Slather, which you're in. Yes. Sunday's at? 7.30. On the Comedy Channel. Comedy! Comedy Channel! Ed, what have you got coming up that you would like to play?

I turn up on Dirty Laundry every week at the moment in silly positions. Yep. And, yeah, so that's on Thursday night at 9.30 with Lawrence Mooney, so you've got to watch that. And what else am I doing? I'm just around. All right. You can follow me on Twitter or whatever.

I'm doing always doing gigs and stuff. Yeah, gigs at races, rallies. Well, if anyone wants to give me money, I'm in Ballarat, Portia. I'm in Marysville. I'm in some other place. Marysville is not Maryborough, by the way, just for people, because everyone always thinks Marysville is Maryborough. It's not. So don't turn up to Maryborough. Has Roadshow gone to Maryborough before?

No. Because that'll hurt. They probably just drove through one day and got bashed and went, that's enough. We've got to get back on that. The bus tour, yeah. Yeah, this bus tour. But I'm not sure how. And hit us up on Facebook or Twitter or email how this is going to work.

But this was raised quite a while back. We got busy. We're now not as busy. And this can actually happen in the soon to middle future, which is to do a trip to Maribor. I don't know whether the show would be on the bus on the way there or we just sit silently on a bus for two hours and then get there and then do a show in Maribor somewhere.

So I don't know exactly how that's going to work. And we'll have to drag guests up and we'll have to, you know. I'm not going in the bus without listeners. I'm getting my own car. Oh, really? Yeah, that's a little overpowering really yeah i'm gonna get an uber black to maryborough by myself because i think the thing would be i think it'd be maybe silly to do the show in a venue there in maryborough and just do do it like a normal show with just

a busload of people which wouldn't be that big i think we should make a big paper mache sort of cast of your head that we strap to a bus and we drive it down the main street of Maryborough like a homecoming parade. Like Priscilla Queen of the Desert. Make a float. Chandler float.

I think it needs to be the Chandler reality tour around Maryborough. Absolutely. The show is on the bus but I don't know is that what's going

to happen? I think the show should be on the bus yeah. I mean if we can get some kind of PA system and fuck around on the bus

for sure. That's the thing we need to figure out how to do that. You need a big bus, though. You need like 30 people in that bus. Well, if you're going, you do. Wrap it up, guys.

Yeah, fat fuck. God damn it. All right, in the meantime, we've got our live Melbourne show on sale, 250th episode, July 18th at the Portland Hotel, littledumbdumbclub.com, selling very well. 8 o'clock at night. So it's on a Saturday night. It's at 8 o'clock.

So you know it's going to be heaps of fun. There's none of this Sunday afternoon stuff where people have to watch their behavior and not get drunk. Yeah. It's going to be great fun. A lot of people are putting requests for another drunk cast afterwards. So I don't know. Anyway.

We'll see. Yeah. We've got to protect our brand. We've already got rabble rousers bootlegging it and chucking it on around the old campfire. Yeah, we broke Lawrence Mooney. He hasn't had a drink since that show. So we can't just break everyone in comedy. Well, whatever happens, we can promise you one thing.

No puss. Guys, thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mates.