The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 247 - Ronny Chieng & Nick Cody

Episode Date: June 16, 2015

Karl Dellavedova, Free Nespresso and Asian Desserts. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey mates, welcome into the little dum-dum club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo. Sitting opposite me, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day, dickhead. When this comes out, this is sort of the end of June Northern. It's kind of the last day of June, but we are... This is such a good podcast.

Our guests are laughing already. It's so good. Just before anything's happened. We've extended it out by a little extra time so people can keep donating if they want. The campaign actually ends right before our live 250th episode. Thanks to everyone who's chipped in so far. I have mentioned that people, when they donate, can leave us a message in the donate thing. And we actually got a donation this afternoon from a long-time listener of the show.

Someone that loves to listen? Someone that loves to listen. A wonderful young man, Guy Shields, has sent us a lovely message here. What are you doing? Ronnie's trying to check my Wi-Fi. I'm asking if he wants Wi-Fi on. Sorry, I was going to talk to you. You had 20 minutes before this.

We're in Cheng Towers at the moment. Should I introduce our guest and then read this out or should I read it out first? Okay, well first of all, joining us from, you know him from Kinney and from Please Like Me, please welcome back into the little dumb dumb club, Nick Cody. Please like me. I love you all,

please like me. Also, you know him as the winner of the most sensitive award at this year's Melbourne International Comedy Festival. You know him as, if you're an international person,

you may know him as the host of an exclusive comedy festival luncheon inside this very apartment You may associate him with chicken wings Please welcome back into the little dum-dum club, Ronnie Chang Hey, welcome to my house Welcome to my house, Cody, Nick Cody

Chang Towers Tommy Dussalo Chang Towers Do you own this whole building? Yeah, I got my Iron Man armour at the top And then you Jump off and fly away Do you own property? Why are you asking me If I own property

On podcast? I just realised I've slept on this couch before Oh really? No you slept on this one Oh did I? I slept on that one The second couch

Couch talk A lot of the Dumb Dumb Club listeners Love a bit of couch talk Yeah we love it Every couch in this house Is being used I can tell that

What's the June Northern June Northern It June Northern, it's a fundraising campaign we've been doing for Beyond Blue to raise money for depression and all that sort of stuff. Why did you name it June Northern? Because it's the...

Do you listen to this show every week, don't you? I know why, but that's so inappropriate to name it June Northern. No, it's not. It's great. People have been loving it.

June Northern is what Fiona Lachlan checked into a hotel under the name of before she tried to... Yeah, it's terrible they're using hotel under the name of before she tried to Yeah, it's terribly using it as the

name of the month. The name of the month to raise money, you know, like dry July, November, all those kinds of things. It's getting results,

Ronnie. It is getting results. Really? You guys raising some cash? I love that, yeah, I love that Tommy just said, yeah,

it's sort of like June Northern, it's sort of like dry July. No, for what? It'd be called cirrhosis July.

Drunk driving death of a child July. Well, so this message came through courtesy of Guy Shields. Hey, guys, I think what you're doing is really great and I want to wish you every success in your campaign to raise money for this very important cause. Love the name. Kudos to both of you, the Moon Man O'Loughlin and to anyone else that's donated money.

I hope you have a great time in Japan, Tommy and Carl. carl if you're reading this i think you're a really really funny bloke and i hope people stop calling your number so that you can continue to write and be creative in peace good luck with getting back on the bread wagon too the digestive system is a very complex machine as i'm sure you're aware and i hope in the time that you've limited your gluten intake your body hasn't completely written it off as a source of energy or vital sustenance. So please be careful. I think it's funny you've gone off McDonald's for this long. You were always eating McDonald's all the time prior to the new year.

Anyway, enough about that. I really like your podcast. And I listen every week with a lot of anticipation. The topics you talk about are both funny and somewhat informative. They're very good at talking, but I think that has a lot to do with them being stand-up comedians. I hope your show continues to bring you a load of success. Also, on a final note, please stop mispronouncing, misdelling my surname.

There's no S on the end. You're a friend of the show, Guy Shields. So thanks very much for that. Thanks very much. I did snip a little bit off there. It did go on a little bit at the end. Oh, yeah, you left that in. All that stuff.

It was actually more boring stuff than that to leave out. I cut out maybe a quarter of it. But, you know, this is what you get angry at people texting you mean things. All that stuff. It was actually more boring stuff than that to leave out. I cut out maybe a quarter of it. But, you know, this is what you get angry at people texting you mean things. You could have cut out 100% of that. What do you want? People text you mean things and send you mean messages and you get angry about that. We get this one nice genuine missive and you're angry about that.

Yes. You cannot be pleased. Yes. Yes, I agree. What do you want? What's your ideal form of communication? You want some bread. A letter written

on a piece of bread. I was wondering about this actually. You actually, you're continuing your diet? Well, if you'd listened to the last episode,

I... I did not. That hasn't been released yet. It hasn't this time. I did have a burger at McDonald's with Tommy Daslow

the other day. That's the first one you've had in how long? Since last year. Pretty goodhuh. Yeah. That's the first one you've had in how long? Yeah. In how long? Since last year. Oh, pretty good then because you used to eat like deep fried McDonald's.

Yeah. You would buy McDonald's, fry it and then eat it. Yeah. Yeah, I'd walk into McDonald's and go, la-di-da with all your little

healthy food. Let's get serious. You customize your burger by trying to put it in the fryer. Put it in the bin first and then take it out. Yeah. Well, that's interesting because I'm on a health kick right now as well.

Really? Yeah. Is this the first topic you want to talk about or do you want to talk about something else? Please. This can be the first topic. Okay. I'm on a health kick right now. I've been on it for like five days.

I started counting calories and just to get some routine in my life, I started doing head posture exercises in the morning because my posture is really bad. It sounds like you're working on things that you've accused other people of being bad at over the years. So I keep on accusing. Or student weight. Yeah. So I realized that I need to kind of get on my own game

and I've been living a very undisciplined lifestyle for a couple of months now. Yeah, because you've got real fat, Ronnie. So you give people a lot of shit for things, but then you've taken it insular and you've kind of realised that you need to work on yourself. Yeah, I've realised that in order to call people out, I need to be able to...

Carl, it's an interesting way of living, isn't it? It's a really interesting way of living your life. I just like that Ronnie gets drunk twice a year and sells out the biggest venues in the world, but just lacks so much discipline. Ronnie came and played indoor soccer for us a couple of weeks ago and filled in, and he said, what colour do you wear? I said, yellow.

And he started saying, you stupid fox. You wear yellow. Who wears yellow? And I'm like, Brazil, the greatest soccer team of all time. And then he rocks up in a skin-tight yellow top, which in the shape you're in, Ronnie, you shouldn't be wearing anything skin-tight. Well, to be fair, here in the shape you're in, Ronnie, you shouldn't be wearing anything. Well, to be,

to be fair, here's the deal. I was helping you out by coming to fill in for a game. And the color of the team was yellow. And the only item of yellow, only yellow item I have is this compression top. So I just wore it. And normally you wear compression tops,

you wear something over the top to hide what, however, how our shape you are. But in this case, I couldn't because that's the color of the team. So I had to play with the compression top on. So thank you, Carl, for taking notice of my weight issue. Was that the thing that pushed you over the edge?

That was the thing that pushed me over the edge. I wore the compression top. I was like, I can't hide under a T-shirt in this game. I was a medium-sized T-shirt for about six years and then it started getting mushy in it and I felt sad too. Then I found out what a large was. Now I'm good to go. There's that moment where you put on weight and you need to buy clothes and you're sort

of like, what do I do? Do I just accept that this is it and go up a size or do I kind of, as an incentive, keep getting mediums? Is that why you're so obsessed? You do I kind of, as an incentive, keep getting mediums? Is that why you're so obsessed? You want to move to America as an end goal because they're the ones with the XXXL. We don't have them. Yeah, so I got some routine right now. I wake up in the morning.

I put on a meditation app for eight minutes. An app? A meditation app? What does it do? So it guides you through meditation. Which one do you use? Can we spruik it here or what? Sure, go for it. No, this is the ABC.

If you name one, we've got to name all of them. Uniqlo meditation. Right now I'm using Calm. Oh yeah, that's what I use. It's great. You meditate as well? I don't believe you. Yeah, I do. You do? How long?

Spoke about it on the podcast the other week. He's been doing very well. How long have you been doing it for? Since just near the end of Comedy Festival. Okay, well, it's good. I like it a lot. Because Tommy's in Japan at the moment when this comes out, but he reckons he's going to go and stay with the monks in the mountains in Japan

and meditate with them. Yeah? How are you going to pay for that? With my mum's money, dickhead. Oh, got himself. Got her credit card details. No, no. If he's up in the mountains with the monkeys, got om.

Oh, boy. Wait, now, is that a pun? That's a pun. Pun him. Got pun. Got him, got pun. What the fuck are we talking about? Well, have you done research into which monks you want to go?

My research is basically Anne Edmonds telling me she did it last year and she really liked it. You're going to go on Anne Edmonds' recommendation? Yeah. Is there a monk advisor? Monk advisor. She came back and just, you know, things have taken off for her. It must have worked.

It's true. I want to run in next year with these tits out at the fucking shit end. At the what? At the drunk cast. At the drunk cast. Wow. When I finished high school, going to university. Actually, what am I translating for you guys?

I'll call it what it was. I finished junior college in Singapore and then I went to university. And then in between, I wanted to take a couple months to go to a monastery in China to train martial arts. Really? Where they whip the shit out of you.

Oh, yes. What do you mean they whip you? Like the League of Shadows. Yeah. I was going to say, was it around when Batman Begins came out? No, it actually had nothing to do with that.

But yeah, now that you mention it, very similar to that. But I wasn't influenced by that. Is a crouching tiger hidden sensitive? Yeah, so you go for this thing. But the only problem, that was around the time when I was starting to learn that you got to be careful on the internet because, you know, things are not legit. What made you learn that?

Did you get scammed in some way? You went to judo.geocities.com. Yeah. Basically, you don't want to give… Are there dodgy monks on the internet? Yeah, I mean don't want to are there dodgy monks on the internet yeah I mean there are there are dodgy monks everywhere

like you pay money and you go for these things and they're not training you the right you know I mean if your end goal is just to get fit and have some

hardship in your life then yeah how do you rip someone off through meditation though no it will be it will be for example you pay money to go to this monastery

with a lot of foreigners and you're trained in whatever martial art they think they're teaching. Whether it's legit or not, you don't know. So you didn't go because you were scared of getting scammed? I didn't go because I've done Wing Chun martial arts for five years and I went to teachers who were not legit. I went to one teacher who was not legit. And so I kind of got scarred. Well, not scarred.

What's a non-legit teacher do? What's the worst thing they can do? Okay, this is how it works in martial arts. If you go... The way they scam people is they claim to be students of people who they are not. So lineage in martial arts is very important. So who trained you and what line you come from. It's important.

It just means... So you have to go on ninjaancestry.com. Yeah, you have to go to ancestry.com. I couldn't find any of them. They must be really good. There's no trace of this person. I want to use this person. And the second most obvious way they scam you is

they just teach you stuff that isn't legit and then you take a long time to learn. They give you ninja rectangles instead of ninja stars. They're trying to teach you how to do a Hadouken. No, it's just the danger of... Left, down, up, A, and then you say... First lesson, call the cops. I'm in the middle of a scam at the moment that I've not gotten myself into.

My dad emailed me the other day saying, hey, I found this deal on the internet to get a free Nespresso machine. So I've signed you up for it. I just had to put in your phone number and your address and your email. And it's not legit. And now I get like four phone calls a day from some dodgy mailing list thing. phone number and your address and your email and it's and it's not legit and now i'm getting i get like four phone calls a day from some dodgy mailing list thing i'm getting all these emails like he's totally just sold me your dad's like a successful dude yeah i know trying to trying to do the right thing trying to help me out like get me a free coffee machine and it's just backwards

it's just an example of someone discovering the internet at age 47 though. Yeah, exactly. Your age. I had some guys come in to give me free lights in my house, in my apartment and they kept offering free LED lights, energy efficient lights and my standard thing now is I decline that stuff

because I know there's some kind of scam and they kept trying to give me free lights. I kept declining until the building manager stepped in and told everyone that, yeah, this is actually legit. Please sign up for you know, give me free lights. I kept declining until the building manager like stepped in and told everyone that, yeah, this is actually legit. Please sign,

please sign up for it if you want some free lights. So I did it and just typical, you know, took weeks to do it, just replacing light bulbs and delays

and they don't come the time they say they're going to come and then when they do come, they tell you it's going to be delayed and it was just... Well,

because I'm going to Japan tomorrow. And you can't complain because it was free. Yeah, well, because I'm going to Japan tomorrow, I'm worried that I'm going to get done over there, I reckon. Yeah, you will. I'm scared about that. I know it's kind of his story to tell,

but you were telling me yesterday, Carl. But you can't scam someone who has no money. Yeah. Well, that's one thing, yeah. But you were telling me Nazeem Hussain was just there and he got done by some Yakuza scam. Yeah, he got robbed. What?

He was there, yeah. He got robbed. What? He got robbed. Yeah. He got robbed. Again, I don't know. This is his story. I got to talk to him personally. Yeah, you got to talk to him. He's a good friend of mine.

From what he told me, and I don't know whether it's personal. It's just a story he told me on Facebook about getting robbed. He went into a restaurant and ordered like a sushi roll. And they said, that'll be $800, please. And he went, what? And they said, pay for it now. And he went, what? They said, pay for it now. And he went, oh, this is not good. And then they walked him to an ATM and made him get out all the money he had.

What, $800? Yeah. Like 800 yen or 800? I don't know. Like whatever it was. 800 yen is like 80 cents. That's what I'm saying. Yeah.

So that's not worth, they're not rolling someone for 80 cents. It must have been 800. That would be cheaper than the thing he ordered. So that would not be a robbery. And why would he protest? What? I'm walking you out here to get your discount right now. But for him, he's a successful guy.

He's just done well at the comedy festival. He's on TV. $800, it's a bummer. But if that happens to me, I'm having to come home straight away. I'm done. I've got no money left. You're like. I'm done. I've got no money. You're like, sorry, mum. I've got to talk to him about that.

Wow, that's an interesting story. You've been to Japan, haven't you? Yeah, it's great. Any advice for avoiding scams? Yeah, but talk to Nick Holdy because he hasn't gotten a lot of airtime on the podcast. Ask him who hasn't been to Japan. I just feel bad for Nazeem because he's never had a drink in his life and he's getting drunk. I've been blind fucking all over the world,

never been scammed once. I don't know if I have a head of like, this guy might cause trouble. Like Nazeem's so nice that it's like... Now you've got a head of this guy has no money. He's not worth scamming. I don't understand how you can walk, get walked to an ATM and scam like that.

Like forcing you to withdraw money. What don't you understand about that? Because there's limits on your ATM withdrawal. Well, maybe it was 800 bucks though. Yeah, the limits are pretty high. The limits aren't like 20 bucks.

But here's what you do. First of all, you get a travel card so that you put money into... Oh, wait. If you don't have money, you can't put money into that. I've got a travel card, Ronnie.

Okay, well, you put it in because... It's got his mum's name on it. Oh, for fuck's sake. He's got a heap of birthday cards from his grandma with all money taped inside it. He, for fuck's sake. He's got a heap of birthday cards from his grandma with all money taped inside it. He's been getting his grandma to give him yen for the last five years.

I've been saving up birthday cards since I was one and now I'm cashing them in. So what you want is you want to get a card that's separated from your savings account because even, I mean, forget that horrible situation where they're marching you to the ATM to force you to withdraw cash. Can you link a travel card to a Dolomites account? What's a Dolomite? Oh, that's some Australian stuff. Dolomites are this weird thing.

The meditating is working for running. I love eight minutes of meditating at night. I'm so sick of you assholes. You guys are always calling me out, not knowing Australian stuff. I didn't grow up in Australia. No, these two guys. They're always telling me out not knowing Australian stuff. I didn't grow up in Australia. No, these two guys. They're always telling me

about how come you don't know about this. How come you don't know about this singer? You motherfuckers. I didn't grow up here. I don't know this shit. What do you know

about Singapore stuff? Close your eyes. Focus on the breath. Breathe in. Breathe out. If thoughts distract you just let go of them. Oh, so you're doing

the same seven day meditation? Yeah. I like that lady. I'd like to meet that lady. She's good. You reckon she's hot? I don't think about that stuff. You're doing it wrong there.

People are hot. You're meditating wrong. No, when I meditate, I'm not thinking about whether the voice guiding me through meditation is hot. That's why he's got a boner in meditation. Just the worst one. That helps me focus my energy just on one place. That's another word that starts with M and ends in I-O-M, by the way.

That's not meditation. Those monks are going to love me. G'day, boys. I'm on holiday. G'day, boys. Where's the peeps? But I actually think, I'm not trying to call you out on this, but I do think you'll enjoy this.

The Dolomites is a thing where everyone my age is with the Commonwealth Bank. Because when we were in primary school, the bank came in and they had this little cute, colorful cartoon thing where you'd get like a kid's bank account at the age of like six. And everyone would put five, ten dollars in a week or whatever. And they got you for life. Yeah, they got you for life. Isn't that fucked that a bank is allowed to just come into your school and go, here kids. No interest.

Yeah. There was no interest on the account. Not really. Yeah, no interest on a Dolomites account. So like from six, they're like, hey, guys, banks will fuck you. Yeah. I can't believe it's legal. It's bizarre.

Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah, it's a bizarre idea. Until when? Until you can get an actual adult account. And then you just whiz them. You're smart enough to realize you're not getting interest. I think it just automatically transfers over

into an adult account at a certain age. I thought it might have been like you go to class one day and they teach you about interest in economics and you go, wait a minute. And that's when you kick in. Speaking of your building, we're in Chang Towers. We're in the apartment block that you own, Ronnie.

No objection. That's interesting. Yeah, that's interesting.. We were in the building, apartment block that you own, Ronnie. No objection. That's interesting. Yeah, that's interesting. I do not own the building. Bunch of idiots. Wait, wait, wait. Let Nick Cody talk about buildings that he owns. He hasn't got much air time yet.

But I walked in and you've got a button to hit up. It took me quite a while to figure out what was going on to get into your building. Yeah. And then I was waiting. Big Smoke's pretty fascinating, isn't he? They've got buttons down here. Carl was down the street earlier today. Down the street.

He's up the apartment. Yeah, but there was complicated instructions on that stupid button system. I didn't get it. The apartment number, the tower and the buzzer. What? Exactly. That's what I was saying. And anyway, I was hitting the buttons and I thought you were coming out, Ronnie. And then the door opened and I had my back to it. And I heard someone come out and say in an Asian voice, hey, coin.

And I was like, well, that's classic Ronnie just deliberately getting my name wrong. And I walked around and it wasn't you at all. It was just someone else saying hey coin to something else. Are you saying hey coin? That's Coinsy's older brother who commands a little bit more respect. The more formal version of Coinsy. But Ronnie's got such a habit of deliberately getting our names wrong.

I honestly thought it was him. Hey coin. So you hear one Asian voice and you think it's mine. Yes. But then after that I saw like 22 other Asian people. Bro, this is Asian Central. This is China. This is Ronnie This is China. Yes. This is China. This is Ronnie Chang's China.

This building is sovereign. It's going to be a short flight for you tomorrow, Tommy. Short flight in the elevator. I do like coin. I like that as a, that should stick. You know, because you run a lot of gigs in this town. Coin crumpler. You know, you're the kingpin of comedy.

Yeah. Coin, you're doing well. The Carl Kingpin of comedy. That's good. All Ks. KKK. Coin, you're doing well. The Carl Kingpin of comedy. That's good. All Ks. KKK. Coin Chonga. Comedy of a K.

One day I would like to own some property like Ronny Chieng. What's on with this property thing? Well, you earn a lot of money. How much money are you worth? You must have bought some property investment. Where are you saving your money? Where's your money going, Ronny Chieng? Why are you asking me stuff on the record?

Can we talk off the record about this? I've asked you asking me stuff on the record? Can we talk off the record about this? I've asked you off the record and you won't tell me. We don't get to talk off the record about my financial situation. So fucking get your latest bank statement.

Let's rip through it. Show us the last invoice you sent off. I'm doing okay, but you know, it's not like I can buy an island or anything. I reckon there's islands

you could afford. There'd be some shitty islands. So we're naming things that you can't buy. What are the things you can buy though? Why are you guys

being dicks about this? I don't want to talk about the income. It's not about the money man. It's about comedy.

It's about doing the comedy. Good. Good for you. Can we have some money? Hey let me tell you this.

Speaking of scams. Come on our podcast and now you're always a grant. You pay to be on the podcast. You, Carl, met my housemate properly for the first time the other day. My housemate who also grew up around Maryborough. Is it like a rival town? Rival town to Maryborough? No, just the same kind of, like on the outskirts of.

We don't have a Shelbyville. It's more like, there's like a lot of tiny little, even shittier satellite towns around Maryborough. So Maryborough's got, I don't know, 6,000, 7,000 people. And then there's like a heap of little towns like Clunes, Avoca, Denali, Betbet, Carisbrook. Betbet? Yeah.

Betbet. Betbet. Betbet. That one's the sore thumb in that mix. Betbet. Heaps of little towns with hundreds of people in there. I reckon Ronnie could buy Betbet if he wanted. He could afford to buy Betbet.

I bet he could buy Betbet. So you have this interaction with my housemate. You talked to him a little bit about Maryborough stuff. He then went to a party in Maryborough that night. Yes. And then I saw him the next day and he goes, hey, you might – Carl introduced me to yesterday. He goes, do you know he's related to that basketball,

that Matthew Delladova? And I go, oh, I don't think he is. And he goes, no, no, he is. That's his brother. I'm like, oh, I think it would have – I reckon that probably would have come up by now. I spent a fair bit of time with him. I think that would have come up.

No, I've been all like, hey, listen, Tommy, I'm off bread at the moment. I don't want to bore you with stories of my brother that plays with LeBron James, the greatest basketballer in the world. Tommy also, Carl Delladova. We don't all know that. Delladova. Delladova. Pronounce my brother's name correctly, please.

A little bit of respect. He then goes, yeah, but his last name is Delladova. Delladova. Delladova. And I go, what? And he goes, when you introduced me to him and saying he was from Maryborough, he said, I'm Carl Delover Dover. And I go, that was a joke.

And he goes, oh, how am I meant to know that? I'm like, well, I mean, the fact that you knew he was a comedian should probably be somewhat of a giveaway. But he didn't even know who Deliver Dover is, right? Oh, right. So he takes that in. He then drives to Maryborough to a party. He's talking to people around the old campfire and going,

ah, met a bloke from around here, said his name was Carl Deliver Dover. And they all go, what, like the basketballer? And he goes, there's a basketballer with that name? Oh, wow. And they're like like you met that dude's brother he's like can't wait to get home and tell me how it's made about this so you and me and him then had a very awkward conversation where he felt like he'd just been stitched up an absolute tree and just been really lampooned and i'm like i i thought it should have been pretty

obvious that it was a fucking gag i met this basketball basketballer's brother. I've got a free Nespresso machine coming. What a fucking dropkick. You scammed him good. I don't even remember saying that. Why would I have said that to him? To try and be funny. Okay. So what is your connection to the Delvedova?

We come from the same town. That's it? But you obviously are like 20 years older than him. No. Were you around when he was born? No. This is what I found out the other day he's his mom was my prep teacher okay was my uh first ever school teacher in primary school so that's the connection that's okay that's about it yeah but he's a guy that i

like literally uh i was talking about this the other episode i she was my teacher and i saw an interview on anspn and i saw her and realised that and I saw the dad and I was like, I know him. I reckon I've probably yelled at him out of a car at some stage. Something like that. Like I recognise him from something. And that's the number one thing to do in Maribor. Your son will make the NBA, fuckhead.

Hey, you're a fuckhead from downtown. Hey! Hey, you're a fuckhead from downtown. So is he like a legend in Maribyrnong? Or whatever it's called this week. Well, he would be now. They're renaming the basketball stadium after him. They're calling him the Deladome. As they should.

The Deladome. The Deladome. That's fucking great. How does Ronnie Chang have to get to get something named after him? What's your official hometown? I got no hometown, man. I'm born in Johor Bahru, Singapore. Born in Singapore?

In what? Murbinong. Murbinong. Singapore, Johor Bahru, Melbourne. I don't know. It's not my hometown, right? Is it? I guess. You don't treat. It's not my hometown, right? You don't treat Melbourne or Australia like your hometown.

Well, what am I supposed to do? I'm not a citizen. Show us a little bit of goddamn respect for one. Like money? You got all our money, so give us a bit of respect. You know, my parents always said, don't talk about how much money you make, man. That's how you get robbed you stupid idiots Yeah but they're not

going to steal your real estate off you though At the sushi joint Nazeem's like how much for this and they're like one dollar

and he goes I could fucking buy 800 of these bad boys and you're like oh okay He walked into the place like hello I'm a big television star

back in Australia No that's scary because he would be with his fiancee at that point. So I don't know what was going on there. You know what I mean?

If his fiancee was around for that scamming. Yeah, that makes it slightly scary. Not just him being robbed by Yakuza's. Yeah, that's scary as well. Yeah.

Japan's pretty... I had a great time in Japan, man. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Where are you going to go? Osaka. Tokyo. Osaka.

Kyoto. Kyoto. Nara. Nara. Nara. I want to go to Nara. Go pet some deer. Kamakura, maybe, if there's some deer Kamakura maybe If there's time

Kamakura Pet some deer Don't get any ticks on you You get Lyme disease I'll try And you're going to go And get Kit Kats Yeah I'm going to bring back

Some Kit Kats Some of the flavoured Kit Kats I'm going to bring a little Smorgasbord back For our 250th episode Wait green tea Kit Kats Green tea Kit Kats Okay

Those are the best What other ones have we had Chocolate chilli That was the best Chocolate chilli ones Are really good. You can get Tokyo banana. Oh, Tokyo banana.

But just eat it there. Don't try to bring them back. Really? Because it's 50-50 where you can get past immigration. Oh, really? In terms of the flavors of Kit Kats. No, no. Do they like draw the line at banana, but chili chocolate's A-okay?

No, no. Kit Kat is fine. Tokyo banana is something else. Tokyo banana is- Tokyo banana like trying to get fruit interstate because it's got a banana in it somewhere? Yeah, that's it. Wait, so Tokyo Banana is a flavour of Kit Kat

or are you saying... Tokyo Banana is a separate confectionary, you stupid fucks. We were talking about Kit Kat and then you just said Tokyo Banana. I said Kit Kat. Yeah, how am I supposed to go into Tokyo Banana? Hey, Carl, let's leave the two meditating guys

to just fucking yell this one out can we find out what app this is and burn it just your alarm clock yells hey cunt face at you until you wake up

is this this thing that they go to sleep do they listen to it in their ears go to sleep in their ears and at 3am it just turns into

what's his name Shia LaBeouf going do it do it do it have you guys seen that motivational video yes

because you've seen it to us three times have you seen it no you haven't seen it it's awesome I've got to send it to you I watched it

and I thought my first thought was you would be angry that you hadn't come up with that do it exactly do it

why don't you film your own version of that? Doesn't it look like Tommy Little? A little bit. Especially at the end when he does this. He does like, he flexes. Yeah, good visual stuff on the podcast. I'm asking you guys, you stupid fuck. I'm asking you, you idiot.

Did you watch it? Did you watch the whole thing? I've watched it, yeah. Yeah, don't you think it looks a little bit like Tommy Little? A little bit of his vibe? Yeah. Hey, on the way here, I was on the tram

coming into the city. Wait, very quickly, can we go back? What is a Tokyo banana? Just a banana from Tokyo? It's a confectionery dessert or processed banana covered, like,

it's a sponge cake where Tokyo banana filling is put into it. I love Asian desserts. Why did Japan need so many flavours for everything? Because it's like we've talked at length about the Kit Kats having all those hundreds of different flavours. I was looking at someone sent you a link today on Facebook

on the Dum Dum page about you saying, what should I do in Japan? They said go to this ice cream shop and they've got hundreds of different flavours, all these insane made up fried onion flavor ice cream. Yeah. What's the problem with vanilla, chocolate,

strawberry, things like that? Like, why do you need so many insane flavors You are so backwards right now. You sound so country

manoeuvring right now. You don't even understand. buttons on it that you gotta push. Why is there more flavors than vanilla? That's literally what you just said.

But what's the answer to that? Why are there more foods than burgers? Dude, there's stuff out there. That's the point of traveling, you idiot. Do you need octopus-flavored ice cream? Do we need that? You don't need it. Someone else needs it.

Someone else enjoys it. Someone, when I put that out, some listener sent me a link to the suicide forest, just if I need a local reference for the Westgate, which I appreciate it a lot. There's a link to the suicide forest just if I made a local reference for the Westgate which I I've heard about that appreciated a lot there's a movie made

by Ewan McGregor I think it's in a new movie where he goes to the suicide forest in Japan yeah so I've I learned about that rest in peace Ewan McGregor

it's not a documentary right and what is it it's just a popular is it just a popular suicide destination or is there some kind of it's the Japanese Westgate

yeah great alright I'll go get a snack oh my god it's a forest it's not like a bridge or anything is it just a forest where the tree leaves

just naturally form nooses yeah I don't know I mean that would be great if it was something like that again you hit us up for June Northern donate just to make us feel better about

these horrible things that we say on this podcast I just want to know why it's going to be good if there was some kind of story behind it that's all anyway you're on the way here

yeah I'm on the way I came on the tram today and I was just reading a book on the tram with headphones in. And opposite me, on the seats opposite me, this really old Asian guy, I could see him trying to get my attention, trying to yell at me. I take my headphones out and he points at the book I'm reading and goes, hey, hey, are you a writer? Was it me? No.

I thought that was going to be the end of this story. No. He points at the book and goes, hey, hey, are you a writer? Was it me? No. That was going to be the end of this story. No. He points at the book and goes, Hey, hey, are you a writer? And I was like, Well, I am, but I don't know what reading a book gives it away. I was just reading a normal book.

It wasn't a how-to-write book. What book was it? Why don't you lead with that? It was just like a funny book. It was like a Marc Maron book, like a comedy book. And he goes, are you a writer? And you have to say no. You have to say no to that. Oh, you lied? Okay.

No, I said yes. I said yes, even though... Have you heard of The White Room? He's just fluked it. He's just looked at a book and gone, well, you read a book, you must... I don't know whether he thought I wrote the book, and that's what I'm doing, reading my own book going along. So he's fluked it, going, hey, are you a writer? I was like, well, yes, I am.

And he goes, oh, what do you write? And I went, oh, I don't know, I write for TV stuff. He goes, oh, you write for TV? I've written five books. I was like, oh, yeah, cool. He goes, give me your website. I went, oh, okay. Do you have a website?

Was this Ronnie? Everything about this is Ronnie. Yeah. And so I just, okay. And he goes, he gets out a pen and paper. He goes, there, write your website down. Write it down now. I was like, okay.

He goes, yeah. I watched a movie the other day. I don't know who wrote that, but it was great. Probably there was some way of finding out. Okay. Well, you know, I'll put it up on my website and you can find out all about it so i wrote down my website and then gave it to him and then he was like great great and then he gets up and the bell rings and he goes to get off the tram he goes i'm gonna look up your website and i'm

gonna read all about it and i'm gonna send you a email i'm like okay cool and he gets off the tram that's when i realized i remember that my website is if you've listened to this podcast oh is it still i've lost the rights to my website. If you go to www.carlchandler.com at the moment, all you can do is buy dodgy Air Jordans. I don't know if you've seen this, Ronnie. I haven't seen it, but you are so stupid. As soon as you started saying that, I'm like,

I can't wait to hear Ronnie's take on this. You are fucking in for it. That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. You let your website lapse and now someone else is taking control of it and there's something fake sneakers. Yes. Fake hair Jordans.

If you go there right now, you can buy fake hair Jordans. And I've emailed the guy there. No, don't do that. I've emailed the guy that runs it and I haven't got a response still. I've been emailing him. He sent Nazeem there.

He will offer you Like to lease The thing For like a couple hundred dollars Don't do that Carl Chandler dot com Yeah this is stupid Dude why did you Let this happen

I didn't mean it Someone else Was controlling it And then No as usual Just blame everyone else As usual Why couldn't you get

On the ball with it and just make sure you keep control? I didn't know. I didn't know how to do it. My friend was controlling it. See, once again, passing the buck.

Just say I fucked up. I'm not blaming you. I'm just saying this happened. I didn't know how to do it. So complete, you had nothing to do with it. You had nothing to do

with your website lapsing to someone else's. I'm blaming this on Michael Jordan. That's who I'm blaming. His friend made his website without him knowing anything about it. What about cowchannel.com.au? Yeah, that's free.

You still got it? No, I don't own it. I'm going to go and get it. Probably. Can he borrow some money from you to buy it right now? Yeah. Can you make my website? Why would I reward this behavior?

I fucked up. Can you help? Oh, yeah. Oh, you're being a stupid idiot? Yeah. You totally deserve some funding there.

So you're ronnycheng.com, right? What about ronnycheng.com.au? I don't care about that. So can someone do that? Oh, shit.

So can I buy that URL and sell fake Reeboks in there? By the way, I still need you to set up my email for me. Tommy Dasolo at RonnieChain.com Do you actually want that? I genuinely do want it.

Okay, I can do that. I'll use it. I'll do it. But here's what I want you to do. If you really want that, send me an email and ask me for that. Okay. Okay?

Start with this verbal. I can't action it unless it's in my inbox. Okay, sure. I'll do it now. So stop saying like you want it. I'll do it right now. Send it on the show. Yeah. If can't action it unless it's in my inbox. Okay, sure. I'll do it now. So stop saying like you want it. I'll do it right now. Send it on the show.

Yeah, if you really want it, ask me for it properly. Just say your email address nice and loud into the mic. I need to know today, Ronnie, what is your what is your difference

between you sending a text and an email? Sometimes I get an email from you. Hey, Cody, what's going on? I'm like, not much. Weird email.

Should be a text. And then other times you text me about gig stuff and then sometimes you email me about gig stuff text me about

normal stuff okay so my default is I would prefer to use email for everything yeah that's where I'm at

but that's it you go I will send you on Facebook or whatever you've got a thing about business I'll send

I'll say do you want to do a gig on Facebook and you go you fucking idiot you asked me to do a gig on Facebook you're an idiot, you fucking idiot. You asked me to do a gig on Facebook. You're an idiot. I'm like, why is that an idiot? That's not what I say. I say,

you're amateur hour. Yeah, you do it in emails. You have a written record or everything. Then I send you an email saying, do you want to do this gig? And then you don't reply. Can we have a little bet bet? Over, under. Over, under.

I'm going eight on the number of subfolders Ronnie has in his email alright

like he can't just have an inbox oh god you guys are living in the 90s man what

subfolders yeah man I've got hotmail fuck off what do you use you don't

sort emails sorting emails into folders is nine like what do you sort them into? I don't do that

You don't have to sort again Doing this podcast is like having a life coach Hey This is Tiffany This is some guy we're just doing We're recording You can go to the room This is Carl

This is Tommy This is Tiffany Welcome into the Tommy. This is Nicole. This is Tiffany. Hey, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Welcome into the Little Dum Dum Club podcast. Yeah, that's the name of the podcast. A place for friends. So, yeah, do you edit these?

No. Oh, really? Okay. So you go on Gmail, you just search. You don't have to sort stuff into folders. What you just asked me is the equivalent of asking what VHS do you use? Do you even know what a VHS is? Is this what they taught you in fake ninja school?

Ronnie's just so eager to get angry at someone. I asked the question and he's just looking at Tommy like, fuck you, idiot. It wasn't even him. I'm closest. I'm in the firing line. So you realize now that this guy is going to go look you up and he's just going to be flush with cheap Jordans. No, he's going to go there and go,

oh, he's a good writer. He's written very well about these Air Jordans. This is great. This is very convincing. He writes for TV. He writes for Nike ads that are on TV. I'm an 80-year-old Asian dude. I'm going to get some high tops.

I got to say, though, he sounds like a crazy person. What five books did he write? I don't know. I didn't ask. Manifestos that are written in blood. He was the Unipoma. I have to say, again,

I say this all the time, just your propensity, the way mentals in the street are just drawn to you. I agree. You should be in a lab. There's something about you, about your DNA

that they need to isolate and work out what it is. It's his twin peaks. I don't know anyone else. It's a 56-year-old eating a moose and they go, oh, here we go, another retard. I'll go talk to them. I did, I did, I will say this, I will say this,

but minutes after this interaction, I bought a... What? Put your pants back on. What? Put your pants back on. I don't know why I keep on tracking crazy people. It took minutes as well. It took a full five minutes. It didn't down a bit longer.

I did eat a moose. But minutes after that, with a spoon I brought from home. Good Lord. Jesus Christ. And I was literally on the tram. I had it on the tram and I was like, I. Jesus Christ. And I was literally on the tram. I had it on the tram and I was like, I can't be the guy eating moose on the tram. So I got off and I sat on a park bench and ate a moose.

You're a successful man. Why do you live like this? That's exactly, you know what? If I said, right, I'm going to be a millionaire, if I was a millionaire, I would eat as much moose as I could. That's actually the workings of someone successful. You're like Will Smith in Pursuit of Happiness but the reverse. Like he's living in a train station.

He's like homeless and going into this big firm. You're like doing well and just deliberately living on the street. Yeah, he had a wife that left him. Chandler's got a lovely girlfriend that's like, just make me a wife. And he's like, no, I'm going to eat by myself in the street. Got Chinese guys to talk to about books. Got my book club meeting. My book club meets on the tram.

I eat a moose. I'm a big boy. You get those stories from being on public transport. I think that's it. So why do you skip bread but eat moose? I don't know. Can you please explain the logic of that diet? I can't explain the logic of that.

No, I just figure it's bread. Bread seems like it's worse for you than moose to me. Oh, very scientific. That's great. It seems like it's worse. I was going to have a Vegemite sandwich, but that would be bad, so I just put Vegemite on two mousses. Well, this is the debate I had with you where I ate with you once

and I had a burger and you were like, no, I'm not having bread. So you have like a big pasta dish. Yeah. Pasta's the same as bread. It's exactly the same thing. Yeah, I don't think it is. So that's it. You see this?

Okay, argument over. That's how science works. It's what's in your head. It's self-belief. How do you feel about this? I guess I'll pack up my gear and go home then. I've been beaten. Hey, hey, you can't beat these results.

I've lost weight. I must have done something. Right. Yeah? Correct. It's the all-you-can-eat-moose diet. I swear by it. As long as you're on public transport while you're doing it,

you don't gain that much weight. I swear by it. As long as you're on public transport while you're doing it, you don't gain that much weight. And bring your own spoons. To be fair, though, now I rarely ate moose, and I reckon I've had three mooses in the past couple of months. What do you mean rarely ate? Because of this subliminal... Yeah, but now I see moose, I'm like, fuck, I'll try this moose. I'd run overseas and I sent Chandler a picture.

I'm like, I'm at the airport having a moose. I don't even want it. I was over. The same thing about listeners. We get messages all the time of people having moose. It's like there's no way there's that many people out there regularly enjoying moose of their own accord without it being talked about on this program.

I got a text from a random number that I'd never got a number from today with a moose. There's a picture of a moose. Somebody's eating a moose. Why don't you guys eat normal desserts like tapioca or bubble tea? Here we go. This is great. I love Asian desserts.

Nothing worse than Asian desserts. That's what made this guy so crazy on the train for. Yeah. He's been driven crazy by not eating chocolate all these years instead of eating octopus assholes for dessert. Can I have candy watermelon rammed into an eel with a straw talking about some chocolate dude the dessert is just tapioca starchy desserts it's not it's not your usual cake sponge cake yeah that is like you got all those results of getting pictures of moose from saying on the program that

you like chocolate moose yes can I just say I love naked women. You can get at me, Tommy Dasolo at RonnieChain.com. Shut up, Tommy. Sorry, Ronnie. Sorry, admin. Sorry, let's get back to what Ronnie wants to talk about. How much money do you make per year? How much money do you make a year?

Enough. I make enough. You make more than enough. If he makes enough, you're doing better than him. You're not moose on a tram yeah. You make more than enough. If he makes enough, you're doing better than him. You make more than enough. Yeah, yeah. You're not moose on a tram money. You're more than that. He's moose on a jet money.

Yeah. No, no, no. He's snails crushed into jelly cubes on a plane money. In an Uber. In an Uber. Do you get Uber Black? Why do you guys think that there's savory protein in Asian desserts?

There's no animal protein. Like there's no snails or eels or whatever. I just think of the worst things I can think of and just think that would be the dessert that you would eat.

Yeah, but this comes from a guy who thinks that everything in Japan sucks. Me? Yeah. When did I say that? Yeah, you're like

why do you need so many flavors for me? Oh, okay. Green tea Kit Kat is the best. If you like Green Tea Kit Kat, guess what? You like Asian desserts. So I'll break it to you.

Green Tea Kit Kat sounds alright. Is there any chocolate in any Asian dessert? Is there any chocolate? Yeah. Yeah, when the Western people bastardized it. Yeah, exactly. So that's good though. Chocolate's good.

Chocolate's good. Why isn't there chocolate in traditional Asian desserts? Yeah, exactly. So that's good though. Chocolate's good. Chocolate's good. Why isn't there chocolate in traditional Asian desserts? Yeah, because they didn't invent chocolate. It's the best thing in the world, chocolate, right? We're all agreeing on that, yeah? No. Chocolate's not the best thing in the world. That's why, I mean, isn't,

that's why like the processed sugar in Western desserts is just, man, it's crazy the amount of sugar you have in there. It follows the same neural pathways as cocaine. Crack cocaine, sorry. Really? Processed sugar does, yeah. What's wrong with that? That's good.

Makes you addicted to it. I want to be in the new remake of Scarface, but with mousse instead of cocaine. That's pretty good. First you get the mousse, then you get the money, then you get the diabetes. Then you read five books. Say hello to my little friend.

It's the spoon I brought along with me. Finally, a remake of Scarface where he's just decked out in cheap Jordans for the whole film. So what I do is I wake up in the morning and then I spend eight minutes meditating using the app. Is that enough? Yeah. It's hard, man.

Meditation is hard to not get distracted. Right. By the way, can we just point out, if people listening at home, this sounds like it was just edited with something from the start. But it wasn't. It's just how Ronnie's brain works. Fuck you, chocolate. Anyway, I meditate every morning.

It's just how Ronnie's brain works. Fuck you, chocolate. Anyway, I meditate every morning. And then after meditation, I do a couple of lumosity exercises to keep the brain elasticity. You know lumosity? It's this brain exercise thing. You only have to do-

Lumosity? Yeah. You do these games. It takes like five minutes. Oh, cool. It varies it up, but it's like math stuff or memory stuff. Counting your money?

Counting money stuff, yeah. And then you do that. And after that, I do these exercises designed to straighten up the laptop posture, the laptop neck. So I do like 10 of those. So I do three sets of three exercises. You look through all your investment properties, which to anyone else looks like a game of SimCity.

ChangCity. properties, which to anyone else looks like a game of Sim City. Chang City. Check out his portfolio, realestate.com.au. And then after that, what happens after that? I think we're now making fun of people on this podcast for having too much money. No one is safe. I have to go on my day now. Are you a millionaire, Ronny Chieng? No, no. Are you a millionaire?

Of course not. Are you a thousandaire? Poor are you. Look, I'll skip ahead. I'll ask a question for Tommy. Do you ever have to ask your mum for money? No. Although that being said, my parents did pay for my education.

What have you done back for them? Have you ever paid them back? It was a success. I lent them back money without any intention of collecting. What did they do with that money? They bought some land. We got there. We did it.

Columbo. Columbo over here. Somebody's trying to dodge tax here. Oh, Google Cheng. No, my dad has a farm in Malaysia. So he just got some money to expand it. So you own a farm in Malaysia? I don't.

He owns a farm in Malaysia. What's your money, though? I got nothing to do with it. No. What is a farm? As if this lawyer is going to slip up on any wording that's going to get him a trial. I don't know. We got this far.

On the documents, my dad owns. He farms. What does he farm? He farms. Let me be clear. He opened a farm after he retired. So he's not like a lifelong farmer. Right.

He retired and then he had nothing to do. So the way it works is that you keep active and keep succeeding or else you grow soft. So after you retire, you have to keep winning. So he bought a... This sort of explains how your brain's wired. So he purchased all land in Malaysia and he's growing bananas. So you own a banana farm?

He owns a banana farm. What are you doing? I've already told you. The money's in the banana farm. Can we do a live podcast from your dad's farm in Malaysia? You can, but you do not want to do that. Why not? It is, oh man. I don't know what old

McDonald's farm you have pictured in your head. This ain't that, okay? This is freaking malaria, you know. There's malaria in your dad's banana farm? Yeah. There's malaria everywhere. That's grim. Yeah. Why'd you buy a dad's banana farm? Yeah. There's malaria everywhere. That's grim. Yeah. Why'd you buy a malaria-ridden farm?

This fucking guy who has never left the country. Oh, he's left the country. To Thailand. Yeah, to go to one of two places. How hometown is malaria? We're in malaria. Yeah, hey, my brother, a great basketballer, came out of that town, so don't knock it. Hey My brother A great basketballer

Came out of that town So don't knock it Yeah This farm You don't want to go there It's like It's not good conditions It's tough

It's a tough farm It's a tough banana farm Yeah It's a tough banana farm You gotta Like it's a way There's a lot of mosquitoes There's a lot of wild pigs

There's wild pigs running around And these pigs are smart enough To avoid traps. They're like one step away from Orson Welles' animal farm. Orson Welles? Who is it? Yeah, it's Orson Welles. It's Orson Welles, you idiot.

It's not Orson Welles' animal farm. There is the writer of Animal Farm. It's George Orwell. I'm smarter than all you fucks. You idiots. Where did you go to school? You should have gone to Maribor High. You should have gone to Maribor High.

You should have gone to Malaria Tech. Isn't it Orson Welles? No, he's an actor and director. George Orwell wrote 1984 Animal Farm. I'm sorry, my bad. I don't know what sort of tricks your dad's trying to use to catch the pigs on the Malaysian farm, but white people, we're right. I'm sorry. My bad. I don't know what sort of tricks your dad's trying to use to catch the pigs on the Malaysian farm, but white people, we use fences, and that does a very good job of keeping animals in the space.

Yeah. Why are the pigs after bananas? I've never heard that. Well, these are wild boars. I love the idea of this farm. These are wild boars. These are serious pigs, man. This ain't your...

They're serious about potassium. I'll tell you that much. These are fast-moving husks. Sorry are serious pigs, man. This ain't your... They're serious about potassium, I'll tell you that much. These are fast-moving, husked. Sorry, you got tusks. They're running around. You know, they've been free

for generations. Pork and banana, is this an Asian dessert bar? Are you running a dessert bar? Oh, my God. Go for a swim in the tapioca lake. Come on, kids.

Oh, Malaysia had a farm. I've been there a couple of times, yeah. It's okay. Well, you won't. You should be able to drop in. Yeah. I don't own a farm. If I turned up to Malaysia hat in hand,

do you think your dad would give me a job on his farm? Oh, dude. If he didn't know who you are, my dad is brutal. He is really strict and he will yell. Can I meet your dad? I'm going to Malaysia. Can I meet your dad? No.

Oh, fair enough, man. Wow. If we went on a backpacking tour of Malaysia and we just walked in and got a reference from you, we could work on your banana farm there? Try it. Go for it. Let's do it. You know what that says to me?

Great content. We'll hang out with some wild boars. We'll get heaps of content out of that. Those pigs running around trying to get bananas just sounds like a 90s cartoon that I used to watch after school. Is this my super lami? It sounds like an app you're

probably using exactly straight after your meditation app in the morning. Just some stupid game where you're a pig trying to eat bananas on Ronnie Cheng's farm. Yeah, next to that

there's Tiny Wings Valley. So Cody, you've just been over in the United Arab Emirates doing gigs. What movie did you watch on the plane? Syria.

What did you watch? What did I watch on the plane? Why did you did you watch? What did I watch on the plane? Why did you ask him that? I don't know. To be funny. Okay. On this comedy podcast. It is pretty funny.

No, Dazzler did something on the commentary of my DVD that made me laugh. So after getting smashed for like 50 minutes by four or five comics, including Carl Chandler. Typically four. It was five in the room, but Ben Lomas was spiritually in the present. He was the boy with tape on his mouth. Rodney Chang was going to be there, but then he just decided not to be there. No, I had something on you, idiot.

He had a farm to buy. And so about 50 minutes after getting smashed, there's a little bit of quiet, and then Tommy just said, so Cody, how do you come up with these ideas? It's my new favorite thing to do to people at gigs, just corner a comedian and you're having a bit of a laugh and then you bring the tone in and go, hey, can I just ask you a bit of a personal question?

And people generally go, yeah, but you feel them tense up and be like, fuck, what's this going to be like? And then you go, where do you get your ideas from? It's good. It's good. It's good real world content. It's not very good podcast content, but you know. Didn't you have a problem recording your commentary for your DVD?

No, it was fine. Oh, okay. I thought there were some issues where something broke and then… Yeah, Ben Lomas. Why? He went quiet? Yeah, he got freaked out and he just didn't talk on it. The best part is that he'd said nothing and we're maybe a minute in

and I hate to say this, but the genius of Carl Chandler. Chandler goes, oh, fucking old mate not talking over here and then we all start giving him shit for not talking. Then he just freezes. But me listening back to it, it was a minute. It had barely kicked off and Chandler just throws him under the bus. Oh, fucking Sally Silent over here. And then he just couldn't say anything.

I think a minute in I was like, it's a shame Ben Lomas hadn't turned up today. Put him under the bus and he could not get out from under that bus. Man, it was brutal. It's a tough bus to get on. And we were getting calls from him afterwards. We really shell-shocked him. He actually broke down, like like within 10, 15 minutes. It wasn't that thing where you walk out and he laughs about it

and we go, oh, that was a bit of fun. Oh, he was upset. He broke and then started yelling at Dilruch, who Dilruch was good on the commentary. So just coming out of nowhere, he started saying to Dilruch, everyone was laughing at you, at you. He handled it well. Oh, man, that sounds bad.

Yeah, we broke him. Yeah, so nickcody.com.au. I've still got control of my website and I sell the DVD on there. How did you get that? How do you get a website? By checking emails. Once every two years, which is how often it needs to be. This might be a dumb question,

but if someone tries to buy those cheap Jordans on your website, no Jordans are rocking up, are they? I presume not. That's what I said in the email to the guy. I was like, has anyone bought any cheap Jordans on your site? But I haven't got an email back. I don't know. I was trying to be funny on the email as well,

so probably that's why he hasn't replied. Ronnie, you've got enough coin to potentially lose on a scam of some cheap Jordans. You want to try and buy some free Jordans on this? Yeah. Ronnie, you've got enough coin to potentially lose on a scam of some cheap Jordans. Yeah, yeah. You want to try and buy some free Jordans on this? Yeah. There should be a bit on your – can you put a bit on your website where you can buy Air Jordans? Well, how about I make your website a subdomain of mine? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, karlchamber.ronnichang.com. ronnichang.com slash karlchamber. Yeah. That's great. Slash this fucking idiot. All of Australian comedy's websites. Slash this fucking idiot. All of Australian comedy's websites just get absorbed into Ronnie Chang. RonnieChang.com

slash Melbourne Comedy Festival. I'll just house mine on RonnieChang.com slash farm slash Carl Chandler. You guys didn't know my dad had a farm? Yeah, he has a farm. It's cool.

Well, you have a farm. We figured that out. It's not my farm. It's my dad's. So you pay your dad to run a farm. Is that what happens? I pay my my dad had a farm? Yeah, he has a farm It's cool Well, you have a farm We figured that out It's not my farm, it's my dad's So you pay your dad to run a farm Is that what happens? I pay my dad to run a farm Yeah Sorry, I've just got to point out

Ronnie's done an edit again Made it sound like we've inserted a sentence from half an hour ago Ronnie cut the post-it This is like ex-Machina We have to sit with Ronnie and test if he's a good enough robot that it's a human There's little things that are slipping.

It's like, no, man, he brought up something that was finished 20 minutes ago. You know what? If someone told me that, yeah, Ronnie Chang was just an android that we put out into the world as an experiment, that would not surprise me at all. I don't think my facial expression would change in the slightest. I'd be like, this all makes so much sense. Ronnie, because your show next year will be in an even bigger venue can the lights behind you

can you get cheng.com added to the end of Ronnie just full website no do your show do your show

outside in your farm like you don't need in Malaysia yeah the only venue big enough yeah

Malaysia Ronnie Cheng show on tonight in Malaysia. Pull up a banana, sit down and watch the show. That'd be great. So your venue here is still the Melbourne Town Hall. People turn up and it's just a screen that's just a live link to you on your dad's farm. I'm definitely trying to think. I'm not even sure if I'll do a show next year,

but I'm trying to think of what background I have. You don't know whether you're going to do a show next year. Yeah I'm trying to think of what background I have. So maybe that website. You don't know whether you're going to do a show next year? Yeah, I'm not sure. You've said that every year for the last two years. Yeah, I know.

Is it serious this time? It must be a tough decision to make. It's scary. Like this time of year, I was talking with Ronnie Banner the other day, surely in your head

you're already going, fuck it now, next year's going to come around. No, you only get scared when there's stakes. Yeah. This has got nothing at stake. You don't give a fuck.

Must be a tough decision to go, should I make $5 million next year or not? Yeah, so I'm thinking of, I won't spoil it. I'm trying to think of the sign for next year. Because you have a big, last two years, you've had big lit up signs behind you. Yeah. I reckon the sign that's going to be there will just say Eddie Head Stadium.

So you don't have to worry about another sign. Oh, man. I had a sign behind me this year. It was exit. Speaking of KL, I'm going to KL to do some shows on Wednesday. Cool. So in two days. You're going to Japan.

I'm going to KL. Yeah. This has already happened though. We should hang out. Yeah already happened though hang out yeah we should hang out is there a bridge between them so ignorant yeah

well whatever you do next year good luck with Japanese desserts though hey thanks man are you ending the podcast are you trying to end it huh were you ending the podcast no I'm just saying

whatever you do next year whatever your plans for your show are your backdrop that's fine whatever I just hope your plans for the comedy festival involve inviting your mates over your show are your backdrop that's fine whatever I just hope your plans for the comedy festival involve inviting your mates

over for one of your special lunches oh yes whatever else you do that's all I'm interested in whatever material you do I don't give a shit I don't care about

your backdrop I don't like the I heard the episode where you spoke about Ronnie and his special international lunch I like that that somebody international

has thought you know what these guys might not be having a fun time in Melbourne. You guys will trash me. I'm sorry, guys. I've got a nice girlfriend now.

It's like positive. You guys will trash me on it. I went to listen to it. I just got to get in tweets from these people about why they invite you guys to my lunch party. These guys,

people come a long way from home. These are people who are away from home. I'm not saying don't invite them. I'm just saying, get some local bigwigs along. Yeah, but you guys are comfortably at home. You know, you don't need to go for someone's lunch. We're not comfortably don't invite them. I'm just saying, you know, get some local bigwigs along. Yeah, but you guys are comfortably at home.

You know, you don't need to go for someone's lunch. I'm not comfortably at home, man. You're hungry. He's eating dessert on the tram. I'm at home being sad. I just love to hang out with my friends, make some new friends, but, you know, whatever. Oh, you know, I'm eating mousse on the tram. I'd like to eat starfish ground up into powder on the 23rd floor here.

You should both have competing international luncheons on the same day. One's up in Chang Tower, one's on a tram. Yes. Yeah, you've got to make your choice. Do you want burgers or do you want eel eyeballs? Why would I invite you guys to my lunch when you keep trashing the food? It's nice to be invited. Maybe we're just trashing it because we haven't tried enough of it, Ronnie.

Do you think about that? Yeah, sure. Because, Ronnie, that's your fault that we haven't had enough desserts from around the world. Fuck you and your success. Educate us. I'm having a 30th birthday this year. Nice. When's your birthday?

So how old are you turning? I'm having a 30th birthday Oh This year Nice So hopefully When's your birthday? So how old are you turning? I'm turning 30 And I'm thinking of having it on the On the rooftop of that place We both know Oh Yeah Chang Towers?

No The other place The one in the city Anyway Tony has no idea Okay, rooftop Do you know the name of it? And you're just not saying it

So everyone doesn't rock up? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, so we'll do it in September when I come back from a three-month trip. And will we be getting invited? No. Oh.

No. But I'm letting you guys know that I'm having a rooftop party. Just settle that. Are you free? Just settle that here. Now I'll be away. You're away the whole of September?

Yeah. The whole of September? Where are you going? The States. Oh, okay. Oh, going the States okay there's one free seat no there's someone else

who can hey where do you get your ideas where is your party yeah I invite you guys

come for that that'd be great that's all we need well with that out of the way we can end this episode

that's all this was about. It was just a ruse to get a fucking invite to your birthday. This isn't even going out. I would have invited you guys to the Sing Tao Party. We never got to debrief on the Sing Tao Party in Sydney. No, we talked about it last time, didn't we? We talked about it on the show.

I'm pretty sure. It was great. It was a great time. We got some Dum Dum Club listeners who came. DJ. I cannot believe you guys, your reach extends to Sydney. Wow, that far. Bunch of moose eating. I can't believe you guys, your reach extends to Sydney. Wow, that far.

Bunch of moose eating. I can't believe it extends to North Carlton, to be honest. I can't believe you let us in your house. I can't afford my holiday tomorrow. Dastlo's mum. Well, guys, that does bring us to the end of the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Ronnie Chang, Nick Cody, thank you so much for joining us. Thanks, mate.

You are both, well, by the time this comes out, currently off on big international jaunts. Yeah. You, Ronnie, you're doing Montreal, Edinburgh. Both of you in Edinburgh. We've got some listeners there. Yeah. Do you? Yeah, we do.

I don't believe you. We do. All right. We really do. Show me a stat. All right, of course. I will. Okay.

And you're going to Singapore as well? No, I'm going to Singapore in October. I had to move it. We really do. Show me a stat. Of course. I will. Okay. And you're going to Singapore as well? No, I'm leaving Singapore in October. I had to move it. Yeah. Yeah. You're doing the Soho Theatre in London? Yes. Which we do have listeners over there.

Yeah, there's one guy who comes to everything. What's his name? Sean. Sean, that's right. Yeah. Who has sent us a gift card that we still have to use, by the way. Yes. We've been talking about this for ages.

Yes, he has. JB, Hi-Fi and Westfields and something else I think as well yeah we've got free stuff well Westfields

we should just use in the food court yeah I don't know how the Westfield gift card works because it's like $25

but it says Westfields but do you just walk into any shop and go hey Westfields yes oh okay well good

I'm glad we did this podcast Cody you got a bunch of state stuff doing Roadshow Asia so Singapore Oh okay Good I'm glad we did this podcast Cody You got a bunch of State stuff I do a roadshow Asia So Singapore

Hong Kong Malaysia Yeah Gonna go farming And then check me out In Edinburgh When I've got typhoid That's gonna be a good time

What does that mean? Typhoid from Asia No You can't get it there? No I don't think so I was just trying to Think of another malaria

Type thing That's a That's a dessert In Asia Typhoid You can't get typhoid The McTyphoid We've got our live

250th episode Spectacular Which is real soon By the time this comes out Like two weeks or something Get on our website to get tickets. LittleDumbDumbClub.com. Moving very quickly.

You know where it's going to be? Saturday night. Yeah, we know where it's going to be. It'll be on the website. It's going to be a big old party. But you don't know where it is yet. We know where it's going to be. Guys.

When you buy the ticket. I feel like I've discovered something here. When you buy the ticket, it'll say the name of the address on the ticket. Okay, but right now. Tickets on one website. now tickets on one website tickets on one tickets on one website Jordan's on the other I've got you covered

if you've got any queries Tommy Dasolo at runningchain.com we'll give you the location and the footwear to get there guys thanks very much for listening

and we'll see you next time see you see you see you see you see you see you see you

see you see you see you see you see you see you see you see you

see you see you see you see you see you see you see you see you

see you see you see you see you see you see you see you see you

see you see you see you see you see you see you see you see you see you see you see you see you see you see you see you guys. Thanks for having me. I'll see you. Stupid fucking idiot. Take care, Japan.