The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 250 - Live! Dave Thornton, Tom Ballard, Anne Edmonds, Demi Lardner, Xavier Michelides & Greg Larsen

Episode Date: July 21, 2015

Gottim Hats, Demi's Tattoo and Ronny's Shirts. Recorded LIVE at The Joint in Melbourne on July 18, 2015.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, mates! Welcome into the Little Dum Dum Club for the 250th episode live spectacular at The Joint. Woo! My name is Tommy Dasolo. Standing next to me, you know him as my best friend. You know him as Jeff Kiev. You know him as Carl Hoofter. Carl Chandler!

G'day, dickhead! Ooh, he's doing a silly voice for the first time. Oh, I actually feel no pressure tonight, because even if this is no good, they've left the fucking tellies on up the back, so... Is that just for us, so that we can watch that during our podcast? Yeah, if you're not laughing enough, I'm just going to watch The Ashes, if that's cool, guys, so...

Oh, Carl, can you really believe we've made it to 250 episodes? I want to get back to the TVs to be honest We sure have had some spectacular times haven't we? Numo roll the tape They've left the TVs on but the only people that can watch the TVs are the people walking on the

staircase. Yeah you're really hung up on this TV aren't you? Which does not bode well for the content in the rest of this podcast. Hey guys, thanks for coming. I've been fascinated with the people who are coming from Oh fuck, yes! Got him! Yes! Yes!

Sorry, sorry, sorry. I believe it's pronounced Go Tim. People come from interstate. Who's come from interstate Who's come from interstate? Wow That's actually good for anyone to have done that I'm surprised anyone came if they lived next door Who's come from interstate

and is staying in this very venue? One bloke That's why he got to the front row really early Are you actually sleeping here? Is this your bed? No. Okay. What's your room number?

Afterparty. Oh. See, this is because you guys have been on Twitter this morning sort of going, oh, we're flying in from interstate, stuff like that. And I'm like, wow. And I said it to my girlfriend. I said, there's people actually flying into our show from interstate.

And she goes, really? So at least I got the support at home. Nearly five years of doing this show. That's a long time, isn't it? Wow. Way to get this off to a depressing start. What a stuff.

What a stuff can happen in five years when we started this. You know, Kevin Rudd was Prime Minister. You know? Was he? I think he was no the entourage movie hadn't come out yet and all the kids were doing a strange new dance called the charleston it was a

different time back then and just personally you know back when we started this show i uh i was living i was a single man i was living with my cousin his share house you know she moved overseas i moved out i met a girl i fell in love we moved in together we traveled the world together didn't work out as things do she moved out and now you know i'm rediscovering myself and i'm going through and it just makes you realize how different things can be in the space of five years and you can't when we started this podcast you know you were a man in his mid-duties who was terrified of proposing to his girlfriend and now five years on you're a man in his late 30s hang on how's the cricket going? terrified of proposing

someone just proposed to their girlfriend in the cricket oh got her oh yuck I'm having fun doing a podcast Oh, yuck. I'm having fun doing a podcast with my best friend. I like... You know what? Speaking of sport, we went to the football a week ago.

Yeah. Wait. What? Was that a... I just hear a baby start crying. Is there a baby here? Is there an actual baby here or not? Like, it doesn't matter if it's a baby.

Like, the sound of anyone crying at this point is not good Doesn't matter the age It's usually you but yeah Edit We went to the football last week together Yeah my natural habitat Yes Love it

You love the sport ball Fucking love it out there There was someone I don't know if you picked up on this, there was someone behind us that said this at some stage. Hey, you homeless cunt. Go home.

Oh, I heard that. I just assumed it was coming from the seat next to me. But I also like the youth yelling at a footballer. Yeah. Like someone's playing AFL and getting to the end of the match and just going in the crowd going,

I've got a place to fucking say tonight, or I've just kicked six goals, but can I crash on your couch? I went and printed some stuff off for this gig just before we started at an internet cafe up on Swanston Street. It's a little milk bar that's got a printer in there. Clang. Shout out. And so I'm in the Word printing out the stuff,

and then by the time I left all the recent documents from that document, and this gives you an insight into the kind of person that's using an internet cafe in this day and age. The last five, four of them were documents that I had printed out, and then the one under that was a document called Hair and Scalp Condition. Should have opened it

and printed it out. We could have gotten some good content out of it. Who are they sending that to? Who needs hair and scalp content? I don't know if they were doing it up in the internet cafe to send off to someone, or if they were printing it off. I don't know. We'll never know. You know what? Let's have the after party back there. We can gather around computer number three

and we can look at people's hair and scalp condition. People have bought us gifts. That's fucking awesome. Oh yeah. Get those gifts out. Alright. Oh, this looks like a present for me. Bread. It's fucking wholemeal Oh man I do not want wholemeal

This is just a dildo with Cal's face on it Who thought Who thought that was a good idea Here we go There's mousse so that's good Dip the bread in the moose. Wait, somehow a dildo with Carl's face on it doesn't get the groan. And what sounds like the best snack of all time. Vicky, is it Vicky? Yeah, Vicky made us little Dum Dum Club cupcakes with the little...

Oh! That's fucking awesome. They've got logos on them. That is actually illegal and unauthorised use of our copyrighted logo. So can we get the cops on the line? Can we get... Wow, she tattooed some cupcakes.

Alright. Alright, we... Okay. There's other stuff. Ooh. Oh, there's more stuff. Fucking pingas. It better be fucking pingas. Saturday night. It'd be fucking ropeable if they're not pingas. And then, what? There's more?

And then there's more stuff in the bag. Oh, oh my god! Oh, what? Oh my god! Fuck! What? We have hats that say got him. Is this a parody of the Ford logo?

Is that what it's meant to be? Got him. That's so good. Wow, that's amazing. We look like the worst cunts of all time right now. Suits and baseball caps. That is the worst thing. It's not a great look, is it?

We look like extras on Seinfeld or something. Yeah. We look like a couple of fuckwits. I guess you could say, got us. Well, the gifts are awesome. We haven't talked about this for a couple of weeks, but one of the things we love about doing this show is that you guys who listen, you chime in with fucked things on Twitter.

I'm taking my hat off. I have no need to actually wear a hat. Hey, I got him and I don't even have it on my head. One of the things we love is when people, you know, a lot of people get involved in the show and they send us like different weird things and one thing we were talking about two weeks ago

was something that has touched our hearts in a very special way. The dum-dum 1990s Twitter account that someone set up. Shout out. You guys may have heard us talk about two weeks ago. So we talked about it. We read out some highlights of our favourite tweets. I do have some more to read out.

Can I do a little thing where I'm still pitching? I'm still pitching for Dum Dum 90s. Oh, yeah, cool, cool, go. Because I pitched this a couple of episodes ago and Dum Dum 90s didn't tweet it. I got knocked back by a fan account of ours. So whoever runs it, if you could... Put in a good word.

Yeah, yeah. If anyone knows at Dumb Dumb 90s, if you could do a favour for me. If it helps, one half of the Dumb Dumb Club thinks he's pretty funny. So I vouch for you, mate. And I know the other half. So...

Alright, I'm pitching. Dumb Dumb 90s account. Tome asks guest Vulcan from Gladiator... ..how he got that. Yeah. Yeah. Kyle is annoyed his entry is deleted from Encarta 95. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Kyle is annoyed his entry is deleted from Encarta 95. Yes.

Yeah. Note the reaction. Yep. Yep. Fuck, if that doesn't get on Twitter, fuck. Tome wants to talk about Kyle's second futon he never uses. The boys interview Sean McAuliffe but lose the casingle they taped it on. Oh, well, the first one was alright.

So, since we talked about that, a number of other accounts have popped up in kind of like response to dumb dumb 1990s. So we then had dumb dumb 1890s. They went back a fair while Guest Edmund Barton accuses Carl Of being uncouth for eating on a Cobb & Co coach Thomas eats six Happy Clown Cheese Meat Dampers

Pretty good The next one that sprung up was Dumb Dumb 1960s Carl is mad because He's being sent abusive telegrams because people know his address. Thomas is mistaken for Marsha from the Brady Bunch. If I have to nitpick, Marsha's the eldest one, so you kind of fucked that up a little bit. The boys hate all the new dance moves.

Thomas hurts his back doing the twist. Carl misunderstands what the bird is and gets into a fight. We then went even further back. Little Dumb Dumb 44 BC. The boys buy a fat slave and put him in their act. Hang on. Let's all guess the next line.

Jaya Singhamas is instantly more popular than either of them. line. Jaya Singamus is instantly more popular than either of them. The first round of applause is for a fat joke. Nice. This is one I quite like. Little Dumb Dumb Springfield which imagines us in the world of The Simpsons.

Fucking hell. It's hard to believe that there's people with more free time on their hands than two people who do a podcast, but anyway. Barney Gumbel gets naked at the drunk cast. Princess Kashmir only shows her breasts. Every guest on the show has at some time given money to friend of the show Otto the bus driver. There's another simple one. Squeaky voice teen appears on the show a lot in the early years but hardly at all as his career takes off.

Oh, okay. One for the train spotters. Yeah. Then we went all the way forward. We went to Dum Dum 3000. Now we're in the future. Dasselobot and Carl celebrate Nick Cody's birthday by visiting his grave. The last great...

By the way, once again, thanks for coming and paying money to hear us read our tweets. Dassalobot finally gives guest Adam Rosenbach the 600 galactic credits that he owed him. Very good. And then here's some other ones that have been since the last episode from the 90s account that we particularly love. Dumb Dumb 90s. Kyle thinks that the High Court ruled that Mambo is Australia's traditional landowner. Fuck, I just got that. Tome asks guest Jamie Packer if he also asks Dad for money.

Someone steals an aria from Kyle's mate's rat cat. Tome accuses guest Jo Beth Taylor of killing his Tamagotchi. Now, there are a bunch of fantastic ones. I happen to think there's a number of missed opportunities for parody accounts, so I'm now like you pitched for the 90s one, I'm now going to pitch what I think are some good dumb dumb parody accounts and a tweet for each one.

I think we could have dumb dumb babies. I think that'd be a good one. Baby Kyle gets touchy when guest baby Ronnie brings up the subject of his impending second birthday. Baby Tommy feeds on his mother's breasts and exclaims, I could get used to this. Got yourself. Dumb Dumb Triple X, the dumb dumb porno parody that the world has been waiting for.

There's way too many no's. Guest Ron, Jeremy and Carl have a three-way with a tub of chocolate mousse. Tommy's attempt at talking dirty consists entirely of bringing out the door story. Dumb Dumb Mario Brothers, one that's close to my heart. Tommy Mario constantly gets mistaken for Princess Peach Carl Mario Hey, wait for laugh I just as I read it out I was like this is so niche

No one gives a fuck about this one Carl Mario goes down the wrong warp pipe and ends up in Maryborough And then finally this one Dumb Dumb True Detective Guest the Yellow King throws a hatchet at Detective Tommy And then finally this one, dumb dumb true detective. Guest the yellow king throws a hatchet at detective Tommy. Russ Carl sips a beer while musing that

time is a flat circle and Dilruch is a fat fuck. Do this really quickly. We've got guests to bring on. I'm really sorry for just beating up our own arseholes At the moment so far But hey

I want to do an update No apologies from me fam I fucking love it I want to do this very quickly I've talked a lot about my website And the website I don't have And the trespassers The squatters

The people who have taken All of my websites So I no longer belong On the internet By the way Who's wearing Air Jordans tonight? Who rocking them Air Jordans, fam? This is what happened.

So, for people who haven't caught up, my website was bought. CarlChanneler.com was bought by someone trying to sell fake Air Jordans. Now, then I said on the podcast, alright, I'm going to go and get CarlChanneler.com.au. Because I didn't do it immediately all all within the next six weeks someone else bought it and I don't know if they're here tonight I don't know who it was Someone's walking out But what has happened so far is They're having quite a bit of fun With CarlSandler.com.au

What they're doing so far is The first thing they did Was they got it and then directed it Immediately to a website That tells you if you have bought Fake Air Jordans. Secondly, they directed it to Dilrug Jaisingh's Twitter account.

And now, if you hit up carlchandler.com.au, you'll be directed to westgate.org. Very nice. Very, very nice. So that's, you know, we're here to... But what happens when a potential employer of me goes to fact check what I've done in my career

and gets directed to the Westgate Bridge. Like if someone wants to hire me for something and they get directed to fucking El Primo Real Estate for necking yourself in Melbourne. I'd love to see the next season of Dirty Laundry Live. Head monologue writer of the Westgate Bridge. No, we can't seem to find Carl. I guess

he's transitioned. So we are here to celebrate the 250th episode of this show. We're also here part of this, the reason we're doing this gig is for something else. And so let's talk about that now. Let's bring out a very dear friend of ours who is doing something that is permanently

damaging her body forever in the name of this podcast. Ladies and gentlemen, please go crazy and welcome to the stage Demi Lardner it's happening does anyone need help making a lifelong decision are we play a game of spot the difference at the moment? Oh, the hat. I didn't even need to say it.

I just pointed at the hat. It's great. I actually thought the hat was the difference. How are you feeling, Demi? Do you have any regrets at all? So what's happening? Let's explain what's going on. Sure, sure, sure. Demi Lardner is getting a tattoo.

And quite advisedly in a dimly lit area. He's turned the light on. Oh, okay, alright. Fuck, laddie, duh. You are getting a tattoo in the corner of a pub of our logo, the Little Dun Dun Club. Yay! And thank you for everyone who's put in for that because it was a

crowd-sourced thing. Yeah, give yourselves a round of applause for chipping in too. Yes. Your logo's... The applause was very limp. well some people realize what we what we've contributed to i've got the stencil put your logo is the southern cross yeah you must in reclaim dumb dumb club today yeah um be honest how are you feeling is there any part of you that wants to back out? Not that that's an option, it'd just be funny if you did. My leg's cold. I assume that's the worst feeling that'll happen tonight.

What number tattoo is this for you? Five. Five? Yeah. Right on. What other podcasts have you got? So this is like, so we're paying for the tattoo. Yes, thank you.

Yes. We are getting advertising on your body. Like there's going to be someone having sex with you at some stage. Oh my God. And maybe licking your leg and then going, oh, I might download that. By the way, one of my favourite things about doing these live podcasts is sometimes you say some pretty dodgy stuff in my house and there's no-one really around to call you on it

and you say you're going to be having sex with someone and they're going to be licking your leg in front of a crowd and you can see what the reaction is en masse from the public to these things that you think are normal you know what i still think i'm right and you're wrong all right should we get this underway we've got uh give a round of applause for our tattooers from east brunswick tattoos it's danny danny head on over wait let's commentate the start of this.

So this process, Demi, there's a little bench. For listeners at home, there's a little bench next to the stage. Demi is... The perfect thing for an audio medium to get a tattoo. Definitely. Now, this tattoo requires Demi to be in the... I believe it's the downward dog position. Man, I just realised I could have just the downward dog position. Man I just realised

I could have just bought a fucking shirt. Oh wait. Now we get to hear the sound of the needle that's going to be we're going to have to hear that for the whole gig. And probably some screams I imagine. Hang on we're hearing the sound of a needle. We didn't that for the whole gig. And probably some screams, I imagine. You poor thing!

Hang on, we're hearing this out of a needle. We didn't book Greg Fleet. The hat has spoken. Alright, let's do it. Let's get on a guest. Get our first guest. Folks, first of all, joining us, very dear friend of the's one of the one of the earliest guests we had on you know him from Fox FM breakfast please welcome Dave Thornton Fuck. Oh, boy. Wow. Holy shit.

This is really good because at this point in time, this is getting filmed for Channel 31, so when they see this, they'll be like, what the fuck? Fuck, it's digital. What the fuck? That is a lot less than I thought it was going to be. That is so distracting. This was the worst. Like, that's what's made me realise this is a bad less than I thought it was going to be. That is so distracting. This was the worst.

Like, that's what's made me realise this is a bad idea. Wait. Hold on a second. You said that was distracting. When you two were in those suits and those hats. Fuck. I've got to be honest. I've just come back from Thailand.

This is honest. I did. I just came back from Thailand. What's it like? Oh, fuck. I'm going to tell you guys, when I tell Chandler I'm going to Thailand, all of a sudden it's in his fucking hitting zone.

He's like, how are you flying there? How are you getting there? You stopping off at Singapore? Nah, what you do is get out of Singapore, you shake hands with a troll, he'll get you on a boat, you fucking go across there, mention the word Diane, Diane, Diane,

then that will get you to Koh Samui. I was like, what the fuck? It's the one place he's travelled to. He knows fucking everything. Oh yeah, have they built the statue yet? Is that in the town centre? It's just him going, just ripped off a zinger.

And presented. We were just off the side, they were like, classic Chan, then you went, Greg Fleet. That's how you know when something's funny. Totally. And guys, that was true. I'm sick of this.

I was on the second episode, okay. Nick Cody gets all the fucking glory, but I was on the second episode. All right. We nutted out that his name's Alsop. That was a seminal episode. You were, yeah. It was this episode.

You're part of Dumb Dumb Canon. You established a long time running thread. Yeah also that was a seminal episode yeah it was this episode dumb dumb canon yeah established a long time running thread yeah that was so true and i do remember when we uh were doing that podcast and i thought and i said would you ever make it to 250 episodes and you were like fuck if we do it's probably time to shake things up we'll just we'll rename the podcast and when i saw denny getting the tattoo, it just made me realise you've committed to something pretty fucked up. This is probably a good time to announce the redesign of the Dumb Dumb Club logo. Don't do it, Denny.

Seriously, I've got iHeart Green Guide letters across my arse. I don't get that reference. Xavier and I just workshop that off to the side. We love you, Zave. We love you, Zave. He's off in Xavier's corner. Now, one of the things I did want to bring, because you guys, you texted and you said it, 250th episode, could you please bring a present?

I'm like, sure. Wow, that sounds desperate. I mean, the idea was that that would just sort of seamlessly be part of the content. Yeah, you know. That we'd ask the guests to do that, but yes. Yeah, and I was like, you know, why not? I always come on the podcast for free, so fuck yeah, I'll bring a present. That seems like it evens out, wouldn't it?

But the funny thing is I didn't actually have to bring a present because it actually came to me, and I don't want to bring the tone down, guys. I'm very sorry about this, especially with this many people in the room. And kudos to you guys for inviting all your fans so no one will download this. So, very smart. Yeah, because downloads are where the real money's at. We fucked it. What I'm forcing you to have here is a subpoena,

which I know probably brings it down a little bit. For us? Yeah, it's for you guys. It's from the lawyers of the people who represent Wikipedia. Oh, no. Our mates at Wikipedia. Yeah, unfortunately, there's a lawsuit that's been charged to the little dum-dum club from the people at Wikipedia for,

and I'm quoting the lawyers here, guys, so apologise for the lawyer speak, the wasted time, energy and money for the constant re-editing from all the fuckhead lies that were written on Wikipedia. It goes on the letter talking about after eluding the law by using aliases like Thomas Alsop and Carl won't pop the question to Diana. Weird.

They finally hunted you down. They would like to add that the subpoena, they initially thought they would hand it over to Dilrick because and I quote, that fat prick is at every live comedy gig in this goddamn country. So he'll definitely be at their shitty little live concert in front of all those drunks.

So obviously there's the lawsuit pending. As a kind gesture, they would also like to just agree possibly out of court with a settlement. As a punishment, they'll be happy if the accused suffered by having mandatory imprisonment in a penitentiary known as the Greater Township of Maryborough. Weird, I've never heard of that.

They're going to be there for at least a year where they have to start a 70s funk cover band with Sunshine Johnson called KC and the Sunshine Cunt. Very good. With that little lezzo Tommy. Wait, lawyers wrote this?

Again, apologise about the lawyer speak, guys. I'm so sorry. That is a legal term. It's amazing. In closing, they hope this doesn't affect the 250th show. What an achievement. 250 eps.

One for every year Carla's been alive. your show. What an achievement. 250 eps. One for every year Carla's been alive and... Got me. And an ep for every lesbian partner Tommy has been with. Thank you in advance. The lawyers Jack's McDonald's in Kentucky.

I'm going to have to take umbrage with one thing they called our audience drunks some of these people are on ice as well I have to take umbrage with that I forgot to write this down but I got a phone call yesterday and it was from

Chas from the Chaser Chas Lichardello. Yes. I know how to say it. I know how to say it because of Terry Pedestrian. I got a phone call from him going, has there been any episodes where you have talked about KFC? And I'm like, have you mentioned it at all?

And I go, yeah, the one you were on. He was like, oh yeah, that's right. I said, why do you need to know that? He goes, I'm pitching for you guys to get sponsored. What's going on? Hey tech guy, what you want? Fuck our shit up, fam. Chaz is pitching for us to get sponsored by KFC.

What? That would be amazing. What would be the first thing that we'd... Oh, man, that would be so... Oh, fuck. Everyone out. We need time to process this. You do realise as a...

I'd say, well, it's an international, it's a global corporation. The fact that you mention it may be swept under the rug by the fact that they might listen to the last 250 episodes. Do we really want to align ourselves with people that use the phrase dumb cunt a lot? Australian cricket team, two dumb cunts. That's where we want to align our brand with. Looks like it works.

You're on a, you know, you're on breakfast radio, you're a, you know, you're at the point where, like, it's... How many times,

how many times have you got your logo tattooed on some tiny little girl? Mate. Fuck. Who, come on,

let's do it tonight. Let's get a BB and Dave tattoo tonight. Okay. Hands on, let's do it tonight. Let's get a BB and Dave tattoo tonight. Okay. Hands up if you get Dave Thornton's head tattooed on you. I was going to say don't. Don't fucking do it. Don't, guys. This is podcast.

Usually if there's girls on the radio, especially up in Sydney, if they're going to do this, they put her on a lie detector and ask about her sexual past. That's invariably how that goes. We should have Demi on a lie detector and ask about her sexual past. That's invariably how that goes. We should have Demi on a lie detector and just every five minutes we're like, are you regretting this yet? I just do like it how the tattooist has got their picture upside down. That is, you don't know that.

It's pretty good. Demi, how is it going so far? It's good. It's good and forever. Don, are you going to hang around? Are you going to stick around? I'll stick around for a little longer. Do you reckon this is in any way legal?

Let's not bring that up in a public forum under amplification. Hi, KFC. Guys, we're going to... Dave Thornton, everyone. Thanks, Dave. and shit and stuff. Now, a lot of our... Some of the stalwarts of the Little Dumb Dumb Club, like some of our favourite guests are...

Oh, wow. I've never heard so many people correct grammar. Wow. That's the thing that you have a fucking problem with? You fucking idiots. He went to a private school too. Can you guys all come and spell check this?

Some of the... Stellwarts I believe it's pronounced. Wow, sounds to me like some people are getting a little bit sensitive about their spelling. Where's the hat? Some of our favourite guests are overseas at the moment and, you know, we sort of thought, like, this is kind of a bummer

that they weren't able to be here. We really thought they were going to miss some of our absolute favourite guests were able to be here. We really thought they were going to miss some of our absolute favourite guests who were going to be away. Luckily, some of our favourites, they've come back to the country for one night only. They've taken time out from their overseas gigs. They've just flown in just for this gig.

They've just flown in. Hello. Wait, who's first? It's... Well, given you just said sensitive. Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, fresh off the plane, Ronnie Chang.

Yeah! Ronnie! Ronnie. Hey, guys. Hey, Carl. Hey, Tommy. Thanks, Ronnie. Thanks for flying in Ronnie.

Thank you for flying back, you're doing gigs at the Montreal Just for Laughs festival at the moment, you came back just for this gig. Yeah I came back just for this, yeah. Wow. Also Tommy, learn to speak your own language. So I speak multiple languages, I know how to say Star Wars. Ronnie, Ronnie what do you think about the idea of Demi Lardner? Ronnie, you've actually lost a bit of weight.

You're doing well. Yeah, my digestive health is a lot better. It's getting a lot better. I don't need to take a shower after I have a shit now. Ronnie, what do you think of the idea of Demi Lardner getting tattooed live on our podcast? Yeah, I think it's stupid.

I think... It's obviously not going to come off. This is a subpar podcast. I would not want to get that on my body. I know. The hygiene can't be good, can it, Ronnie? That cannot be good. No, no, no.

It's a burger as well. It's bad food for your body. It's just terrible in every aspect. Ronnie, when you say bad food, like you've been overseas a bit. Have you been eating any of your favourite desserts that we were talking about last time you were on? Oh, yeah, yeah.

I've been eating lots of spew and other things I like because I'm Ronnie, and Ronnie eats stupid desserts, but they're actually really good, so I love them. I wouldn't have thought he ate spew, but he did say he was Ronnie, so that's a fact now. Checks out.

The lawyers that write your letter would approve of that. Yeah, that's true. What an idiot he is. He should have said that out loud. What an idiot. And that's cost us a bit of money to get the tattoo, but I mean, you know, for us, for podcasts, that costs, you know, that's a chunk of change for us.

Yeah, do you know how many tattoos? I could get off your stupid podcast I Would have to buy slaves and get them tattooed And it would be hundreds of slaves and I do own some slaves Ronnie Chang I'm a slave owner. Ronnie Chang, everyone. That was amazing. He's got to leave. He's got to get back to the Montreal Just for Laughs Festival. Wow.

You know what's amazing about that? And I dearly hope the Herald Sun get onto it because he's had a good run of five-star reviews. When they find out he eats spew and he owns slaves, that's going to fuck Ronnie's career. I think that's the funniest Ronnie's ever been on our show. What a great effort to fly back from Montreal to do approximately 50 seconds. That is great.

Thank you, Ronnie. Okay, should we bring on our next guest? I feel like you were going to say next proper guest, but yeah. No, they're all real. No, they're great. Ladies and gentlemen, you may have seen her this week on Dirty Laundry Live. Please welcome Anne Edmonds! Eddo!

Eddo! Eddo! The tits are in! But what about the puss? Hashtag no puss, guys. Who is... Actually, that's a good question. By the way, who here's never listened to the show before? Has any of this been any good?

Very, very in-jokey. Who is here for... Who is here for the drunk cast? Oh, shit. Oh, yeah, you've seen them titties. There's one guy with his hands up. I'm delivered. I'm saved.

You've seen them. You've seen the light. There's a gentleman there. Get that lady a beer. Bought you a present, guys. Oh, lovely. You got it in my pocket. That's not requested by us.

There. Spoon. Got it from behind the bar. To eat the moose or to shoot up I don't care what you do with it stick it up your ass for all I care it's good to be here

we're here, it's Saturday night, people are drinking we're having a bit of a party, have you got any good party stories? yeah, I've got a good party story and this is a story that I was like I thought to myself, fuck, Demi, you poor cunt. By the way, I'm going to get a photo of this. I thought to myself, don't ever tell this story on stage.

And then I was like, nah, go on. That's a good thing about me. I've got no filter. Or no bra when you're here, usually. They go, oh, that was the thing that actually happened. Ring, ring, hello, Tim. You got got. I'll tell you quickly.

One time in Darwin I had a party. I made punch. I didn't think it was very strong. Hang on. You were hosting a party in Darwin? Yeah, I lived in Darwin for two years.. I made punch. I didn't think it was very strong. Hang on, you were hosting a party in Darwin? Yeah, I lived in Darwin for two years. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wow. True story, guys. Why did you live in Darwin? Oh, fuck off. I can do what I want. Sorry, I shouldn't have pushed it like that. I lived there with my ex when I was in a happy relationship before comedy, before everything fell apart.

So what are we talking, circa what? 2008. Oh, we've been holding on to this for a while. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking strap in. Here we go. I made punch. I didn't think it was very strong.

I was like, what's wrong with this punch? And I just kept, I had like 15 of them. I was like, doesn't work. But wait, you made it, yeah? I made it. So you knew how much liquor was in there, but you still refuted it. So what's wrong with it? Must be the heat. It's evaporating. What is it about

comedians that live in the Northern Territory that want stronger liquor? Who? Who else? Oh, no one. So I went into my bedroom to do something and I was in there, I was like, oh, I'm so drunk. I'm fucked. I'm so drunk.

All of a sudden I was like spinning around like that. I didn't know what was going on. I lay down on the bed. I was like, woo, the party's still going on. So I was like, oh, I'm going to spew everywhere, right? So I got up out of the bed and just went... Like in front of me all over like a timber floor. And then I stepped forward into it and slipped in it and basted myself in my own vomit.

Oh, jeez. And then Ronnie Chang stole the gear and did it just for laughs. Basted yourself like a delicious KFC fillet in their original recipe, secret herbs and spices. Give us your money, fam. I got up, vomited again, got up, vomited again, stepped in it, slipped again. And then I did that about three times,

and then I came out, and this may be why we're broken up, I came suddenly... Not the first time we're broken up. I came suddenly. Not the first time you slipped in spew but the second time. I suddenly appeared in the party. Everyone just turned around and I was just like coming in from it. And I was just like Jack! My ex.

Jack! And he turned around and he was just like Oh! Edo, you are the only person to get away from Darwin and the shame that's there. Most people go there to get away from everything. I can't handle this place. And so he had to take me into the, like I had to have a full shower.

Shoes on. Like shoes on shower. Shoes on shower. The old slip and spew. and when I got out of it when I got out of the shower everyone was gone that's actually a good thing if you get out of the shower and people are gone everyone you don't walk out of the shower going oh they're all still yeah well I was fully clothed still oh yeah not like net now just what a great so like in the drunk cars when you're like nude running they're all still here yeah well I was fully clothed still oh yeah right not like nah just kidding yeah what a great

so like in the drunk cast when you're like nude running around this room you're like thank god I'm not still in Darwin covered in spew like I've I've picked my life up

since then yeah now I'm pissed looking at someone from the TV's dick better Jack's kicking himself now alright should we get

one of our other international... Yeah, ladies and gentlemen, we've got... And Edmonds, everyone, by the way, give it up. Fantastic story. OK, this next guy, he's become one of the staples of this program. He's on the show all the time. Even though he should have a stomach staple.

We love hearing his exploits. He was back home visiting his family, but he's taken time out of the trip. He's come home early just to be here at the Dum Dum 250th Spectacular. Please give a big round of applause to Dilruk Jaisingha!

Wow! Oh wow, Dil! That's amazing He's always happy isn't he He's obviously He's just back from Sri Lanka Obviously Shit like doesn't affect him He's just always happy

Why so Mexican No's just always happy. Why so Mexican? No I'm always happy. I'm Dilruba Draisinga I'm always happy. Oh no. Well KFC it was good while it lasted. Dilruba you look like you've lost weight. Dillrug, you look like you've lost weight. Yes, I've been eating too much KFC and had bad diarrhea. Oh, God. I don't know why I'm here or doing what I'm doing. Hey, Edda, have you got any more spew stories to clean this up?

Can we lift this? We need to class this thing up a little bit. Dillrug, you appear to have two moustaches. Yes. I have a second moustache that is just tomato sauce because I'm a fat fuck and I eat... I'm always eating.

Wait, hang on. What kind of fat fuck are you? Just a big fat fuck. I don't know. Not on brand. Very off brand. I can't remember. He's been away for a while. He's forgotten.

Oh, you've been away. I've been away. I've been overseas. Would you say that you are a disgusting fat fuck? Oh, yes. I would say that very much so. I hate myself. I got a bit of that

going on as well. Yeah. Diluc, are you hoping to pick up tonight after the gig? You think you're going to have any action with the ladies?

Yeah, that's definitely going to happen tonight. Oh, my God. I just want to not be here anymore. All right. Go back to your family if you like. Thanks for flying in, Diluc. I just want to not be here anymore. All right. Go back to your family. Thank you.

Thanks for flying in. You're welcome. That ended in Dutch. And I mean oven. Hey, that's right. We run a nice, clean podcast, alright? An inclusive podcast Alright, let's get our third guest out here

Ladies and gentlemen, you all know this guy from Triple J Breakfast You know him as the host of Reality Check Please welcome Tom Ballard! Hey everybody, fuck Congratulations guys, after that last guest This is officially The most racist gathering In Melbourne today

That's fucking incredible That you've done that Yay Congratulations patriots Fuck yeah I think there's actually An anti-dumb dumb rally Happening downstairs

At the moment Whole bunch of people Just not listening To our podcast Spray the cunts I say Spray them cunts, I say Spray them Yeah

Oh, I want to give a shout out to someone in the crowd You guys retweeted this guy I don't know if people saw this But this is an amazing story from someone in the crowd Okay, I think his name is Nick Is Nick here? Oh Nick Thomas

Yes On Twitter, at SteveHolt69 Incredible Yeah Great handle, fam He's done it I'm well in favour of this. Got stood up hard on a date and an ex-Tinder match is working the bar downstairs,

but pretty glad to be at the Dum Dum Live podcast. Yeah. Where are you, 69? Steve, do you feel like showing yourself? Yeah. Where is he? Holy shit. Oh, right on, brother. You got stood up on a date on the way

here oh oh fuck ancient history wait so she was meant to come with you to this no so wait so what you were gonna be on a date with a girl and it's so say it's going well you're like sorry got gotta bail and go watch a live podcast. Nah, you got what was coming to you, buddy. I heard they were going to read out some tweets. I can't miss it. I heard

Mexican Dilrock was going to be there. Dutch Rock? So no, you were going back and forth. You were talking and then you got... She stopped talking to you? Is that what you're saying? Yeah? And she's working downstairs now. Let's get her, guys. Yeah, get her up here.

We all go downstairs. I brought a few of my friends down. Look how popular I am. I've been hoping for you to explain yourself, bitch. It's actually pretty impressive to have two girls reject you in one tweet. Yeah, how'd you get that?

Oh, some walkouts. It's a very valid question. How's the tat going? Oh yeah, let's check in. I'm the roving reporter for Dumb Dumb Club, so... Take it to the streets. Demi, this is where the podcast is going,

Demi's just checking Twitter. How's it going so far? I was googling laser tattoo removal. It's because where you are, you can't see what's going on, but... What's it like? It's... Bleeding. Wow.

Little dum-dum cunt? That's not actually what we're called, but I approve. Hey, Carl, distract Danny a little bit. Ask him how he's feeling about the job. Get him on mic. Hey, Danny, 16, 24, 72... What? Are you dipping your tattoo needle in a glass of beer?

I'm not sure if... Look, this is the first time I've ever seen a tattoo get done, but that seems to be not a good thing. Yeah, just keep standing over and slobbering into the thing that he's clearly sterilising his needle in, you fucking idiot. Hey, Carl, lick Demi's leg. Oh. Yeah.

Make it real sexy like, you know, like you would a lady. I like to think that there's couples here that are going to go home tonight and the girl's going to be like, go on, give me the Chandler special. Get into a big boy, give it a big old lick. Lick me the never propose. Yes! I want it. I want it fucking bad. Big boy, give it a big old lick. Lick me the never propose. Yes! I want it.

I want it fucking bad. Hello, Tim. 1-800-TIM. I'm not sure I love the through line that's going through the night tonight. This is the best 40th slash engagement party I've ever been to. I did bring a little gift. You are supposed to be on my side. I brought a little something.

I love this podcast dearly. I think I was number five or something like that. I think Celia said this before. I used to live in Sydney. I was listening to this podcast, going through a lot of shit, because I'd listen to it and I'd think, wow, these guys are fucking losers. And I'm so glad that I'm not them. So you

sort of stole my thunder. I went on karlchandler.com.au to try to register it and went to westgatebridge.org, laughed for about an hour and then I registered a few domains that you're welcome to have anytime you like. Oh, excellent, excellent. I have registered carlchandler.org,

.info,.me,.net and.biz. Now, that's kind of funny. What's funnier is that I signed up for it and it was $3.95 per month. I was like, oh, that's fine, four bucks. Yeah, for 36 months. So this shit has cost me $250 fucking dollars. So I love you cunts and fuck you both.

Oh, Tom Bellon, everyone. Wow. Can you redirect it somewhere good, all that stuff? To westgatebridge.org? Yes, I can. You know how with every podcast you've got to give a description? I think from the tattoo, from wasting $250, and you explaining to the world that you just like to lick women's legs,

regret would be the through line, I would say. Yeah. This could be a whole episode of This American Life. Several stories on the theme of regret. This is the new cereal. I think we've got a third guest that's been flown back from the show. Ladies and gentlemen, he was the first ever guest on the podcast. He's currently in Hong Kong doing the Melbourne Comedy Festival.

No, he was in Hong Kong. But now he's back. He flew back. He was the first guest. He should be the 250th guest. I hope he didn't pick up an accent in Hong Kong, please. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our very dear friend Nick Cody How fucking good was that Daryl Dreisinger? That was fucking great. I love that kind of stuff. I'm Nick Cody

That's the kind of stuff I love Nick you've turned up wearing your traditional high-vis vest That you wear at all your gigs Yeah, because I assume I work at some kind of high-vis kind of place Because that's what I do, isn't it? You've got the tag on I've got the tag on, everyone knows I'm fucking Nick Cody, how's it going?

How was Hong Kong? That's definitely a sign that you're Nick Cody If you keep saying, I'm Nick Cody Oh yeah, isn't that what I do all the time? Yes. And talk about seafood and stuff? Yeah. Yeah, how's Hong...

Hang on. Isn't that what... I'm not sure if classic Cody is seafood, but anyway, keep going. You seem to have the uniform on. Yeah, like I talk about seafood and have that song, bloke. Who have I confused myself with? Yeah. I'm Nick Cody. No, Nick you been finding Hong Kong? You having fun over there? Oh mate, Nick Cody. Nick Cody bloody loves Hong Kong to be honest. I get to look at peoples

butt holes everyday. I've been looking at buttholes in the porno stores. It feels like the other international guests we had sort of had a good idea of who they were. You seem to have lost all shred of identity by being overseas. I am fucked, mate. I'm just fucked in the head. I don't know

why I'm here. There's a bit of that going on. What was it? There's a bit of that going on. Was it? There's a bit of that going on, wondering why you're here. Ronnie was all right, Bart. Yeah, see, it almost seems like the international guests have started really strong and sort of went downhill. Yeah, because I just got a PS4.

I mean, yeah, I got a PS4 and I was doing Ronnie for ages and then I played PS4 for a bit and then I'm Nick Cody still but classic Cody alright give it up for Nick Cody

everyone he's got to get back to Hong Kong on the Comedy Festival Roadshow must be nice I actually do have to clear off

I've got to go to a gig okay oh yeah I don't know if you guys now, through the rest of the show, kind of like Pippa from Home and Away, is there anyone that could be me? On the Channel 31 show, the cameras will pan away and they'll come back and act like nothing's happened.

You know what? There may be a part in Rad Dad that, fuck, we'll have to fill pretty soon. Yeah. Well, how about bloody Scotty Holt or whatever the fuck his name was? Oh, okay. Get Holt up here. Old fucking Dateless.

Come on, Dateless, get up here. Yeah, that's cool. It's not like he's going to have to apologise to his date over there for coming up here, so we'll get him. Oh, where's the hat? Do you want to get up here? Come on. No, no, well, maybe we'll get him. Oh, where's the hat? Do you want to get up here? Come on. No, no, well...

Maybe we have... Maybe we have something else coming up before we get the... Oh, do we? We have a Swapsies, do we? No, no, no, no. I know for a fact you don't have anyone who's good at doing impressions of other people, so... Wait, so... Hang on. Xavier's here. We didn't book Xavier to be a guest. What's he doing here?

Xavier Michael Williams, everyone! You're right, Carl. It's been a magical night. Shall we say goodbye to Dave? Dave Thornton, everyone. Don and Dave Thornton. Thorno. Old mate got something better to do.

We're on the special edition of Xavier's Corner. Guys, 250 episodes. Congratulations. Thank you. I thought on this momentous milestone, we should look back over the many years, the five years of the Dum Dum Club. Carl Chandler, Tommy Dasolo, this is your life.

Oh, my God. Wow, this is really emotional. This is such life. Oh, my God. Wow, this is really emotional. This is such a surprise. This wasn't planned at all. Now, I got a bunch of messages from some of the people that have a lot to do with the podcast over the years. The stalwarts, if you will. Sounds good to me.

If you have stalwarts, please see a doctor. And remember, don't lick your stale warts. Let's hear from one now. G'day, guys. Gary McNugget, CEO of McDonald's Australia here. Oh, my God. Just wanted to say thanks for all the free mentions

on your podcast over the years. We've checked the figures and thanks to your words, we estimate that over the past five years, you've boosted our income... ..by $300. Wow. However, however, after hearing you eat at McDonald's

and then seeing what you look like, we estimate you've lost us up to $7 million in lost customers. Stern. Look, if you... If you could not mention us again, we'd much appreciate it. Our target

demo is young go-getters. Not weird looking podcasters. For fuck's sake! Go eat at Hungry Jack's or something! Oh, thank you, CEO of McDonald's. Yeah.

Interesting that he got to the head of a huge multinational company in spite of the fact that he's unable to read. What do you mean read? He was just talking off the top of his head. Yeah, well, he can't even do that very well I didn't even know Nick Cody worked at McDonald's Oh, he's back

He's got more to say Gary McNugget overcame a lot of things to become the CEO of McDonald's Tommy, here's one a little closer to home Congratulations, boys. Hi, Tommy, my darling little boy. Oh, fuck. I'm so proud of you for making 250 episodes of your little radio show.

This sounds like your mum, Tommy. You know, I'd know that voice anywhere. That's my mum. For the purposes of this bit. That I think I'm about to start hating? Yeah. Yeah, cool. That hypothetically may have not been written, introduced very well.

But this sounds like your mum. Yeah, I love you, Mum. Keep talking. Yeah. All right. Um... LAUGHTER The torch function doesn't work.

LAUGHTER Just... LAUGHTER The torch function doesn't work. When did you start getting paid for this? When did you start getting paid for this? It's just after lending you money for your last Japan holiday and asking you for more money for the new Sonic the Hedgehog... You've been asking for more money for the new Sonic the Hedgehog games. Well, your father and I have had to sell the house and now we're in such a financial hole

that we've had to ask Greg Fleet for 20 bucks. Oh, Mum, no. And he's already smoked all our Panadol. Well, thanks, Mrs. Olser. Wow. On an unrelated note, I'd like to apologise to Greg Larson for not recording these earlier and him stepping in at the last moment. What a great guy.

Yeah. Also, well-known fact on the podcast that my parents have heaps of Panadol. We're all across that, right? Yeah. Hey, Carl, here's one close to your heart. Uh-oh. Hi, this is Carl's girlfriend. Marry me, you fucking idiot Well, I can see why I fell in love with that voice

Wait, Carl, here's a similar one I just, I'm not going to do an accent for this, all right? I'm just letting you know. Do you want me to tell what the brackets are? Because it's going to be hard to tell who it is without... So if you set it up and then... Yeah, I'm just going to say who it is and just imagine that I'm doing an accent of that person

because I'm not doing it. All right, it says, Carl's Thai wife, brackets, Asian voice. Yeah. Don't marry her. You're already married to me. Chinchelle, your Thai wife. Wow.

It's still racist without the accent. That's amazing. Chinchelle, always get married responsibly. Got him. Got someone, not sure who. Ring ring ring. Hello Tim. Where where where? Child crying in background. Shut up, Carl Jr.

Eat your fucking moose. Oh, hang on. Are we on Broadway? Fuck, it's so hot back here too. And of course, we couldn't have a tribute to the little Dumb Dumb Club without hearing from this person, Yoda. Dumb cunts you are. All right. This is more powerful than getting a tattoo.

Yay. Little Dumb Dumb Club, that was your life. Xavier Michaelides, everyone. Hey, Xavier, we need you to sit in and do Rad Dad. Thank you. Thank you, Xavier. And, you know, just randomly Greg Larson, if you were anywhere near there.

Xavier, do you want to play, you have to fill the role of Dave Thornton in the next little thing we're doing. You cool with that? Yeah, I could do that. I was about to attend to Dave Thornton. I went, nah, don't do that. I would say yes to that.

Nah, give it a crack. It's hard. What is it and I went, no, don't do that. I would say yes to that. No, give it a crack. It's hard. What is it? Just try. No, can't do it. I was nearly there. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's great.

Let's go again. Let's go again. There's no voice. He just does that. He's got Parkinson's disease. For some reason. Alright guys, well I think it is time for a little bit of Australia's favourite, longest running and most consistently awesome radio serial,

Rat Dad. It's Rad Dad here and I'm here to say I'm just riding around in the Rad Dad way Gotta watch the kids, the cat and the dog Now see me be right in your catalogue Yeah, word to your mother Cause I'm Rad Dad He's the raddest dad in town. Rad-Tat. I genuinely still remember the audience just do this. Fucking hell. Wow, this seems to be more...

Everyone just went, time to get a drink. They really did. Yeah. Hey. Hey. If you could quieten down the walking out, that'd be awesome. Hey, Jenny. What's that? What's what, Rad Dad?

Aside from the sound of a tattoo gun in our house for some reason? I know this sounds weird, but it feels like 50% of this room hating that we have to do this segment, that's all. Don't be stupid, Rad Dad, it's at least 60%. That's the same percentage I own of the entire stock of Mambo. Well, that'd be a knock on the door. That tends to happen a lot to us, almost as if some writer isn't good enough to introduce a new character to the scene in any other way.

Go, Tim. Look, Jenny, we don't have time to point out all the things wrong with this show. I mean, the sun's due to explode in 500 million years. Now, who's at the door? Hello? Red Dead Jenny, it's me, Tom Ballard. X Triple J

host, Q&A host, and someone who really should have found something better to do in Melbourne on a Saturday night. Shit's really dried Tom Ballard. X Triple J host, Q&A host, and someone who really should have found something better to do in Melbourne on a Saturday night. Shit's really dried up for me. I'm here because you just made your 250th reference to Mambo, and I've been hired by them to help celebrate, and I've made a special tribute I want to show you. You getting a tattoo of us?

Oh, fuck no. Only a fucking idiot would do that. Who do you think I am? Some tiny little girl who looks a bit like a boy? No, no one said you were Tommy Dasolo. Truly, the greatest insult you can give to another human being. Anyway, I made a tribute to you by giving you the ultimate honour. I made a series of Rad Dad parody Twitter accounts.

Tubular! Twitter is so cool! Okay, well, Trump has... Twitter's just jumped the shark right there. Anyway, this first one is called, which answers the age-old question, what if you two idiots were into horse racing? Let's find out. Rad Dad rides Maccabi Diva to a boom crash opera concert.

Jenny gets fingered by... It's... It's... I think you mean Damien Oliver. Oh, yeah. But what is written here is Darren Oliver. You guys are the worst. I apologise to Damien Oliver for not getting the fingering reference right.

Did you put it through legal and they changed it? Yeah, parody law, you'll never get us That's actually a great idea because... Anyway I mean... Ha ha ha Classic Red Dead horse racing How does he keep the references so fresh?

By making up names entirely Happy anniversary Here's the next one It's called at Red Dead Triple J The difference is so fresh! By making up names entirely. Happy Anniversary! Here's the next one, it's called At Rad Dad Triple J What if Rad Dad was on Triple J, huh? That'd be funny. Rad Dad goes on Like A Version to do the Vaughan Seminal Who Farted.

Jenny calls in to ask Dr Karl if she can still be aborted. to ask Dr. Carl if she can still be aborted. Here's my request. Bring back Tunny. Oh, fucking hell.

And finally, at Rad Dad Dumb Dumb Club, what if Rad Dad and Jenny met Tommy and Carl from the Little Dumb Dumb Club podcast What if Rad Dad and Jenny met Tommy and Carl from the Little Dumb Dumb Club podcast? This is firmly up some assholes. Alright, here's a tweet. Jenny goes on an OK Cupid date with Tommy Daslow.

The waiter confuses them for a lesbian couple. Carl tries to get Tommy to tell the story on the podcast but Tommy refuses and edits it out of the show. Rad Dad and Carl Chandler meet each other and the universe implodes upon itself due to overload of fucked old references. Dilruch eats Jenny. Dilruch's fat.

One question, what's Twitter? Sounds like another horrible piece of writing. Who is it? It's me, Edo. Mr Raddad, I've been hired by Mambo as your dialer stripper. Don't know why. As if I'd ever take my shirt off in this venue. Radical.

Check out the red on her. Any chance we can see the rest of the package? You know the rules, mate. Hashtag no puss. Hey, everyone. It's me, Dave Thornton. Funny. Uncanny. Funny, good looking and successful. Or as that's known, the opposite of the little dum-dum club.

Suck on that. So is there a reason you're here? Yeah, we're not allowed to do gotcha calls on the radio anymore. So I'm just going to do them door to door. You fuckheads. Gotcha. I'm just going to do them door to door you fuckheads gotcha I'm Dave Thornton Nick Cody

Ronnie guys I've bought enough fish and chips for everyone it's me, I don't know I always know who someone is when they say who they are so well this sure has been a memorable episode of our lives. I need a drink. Hey, Rad Dad.

To help celebrate your achievement, thanks to Mambo, here is an extremely legally binding statement. I, Dave Thornton, am literally going to take out my wallet now and shout every single person in this room a beer. Yay! There's no fucking way I'm doing that. Yeah, this is the part where the guests realise

why they don't get the show in the script before the show. What a day. Edo's got her boobs out. Thorno is definitely buying us all beers. That's working well now. He's gone. And Ballard was saying stuff at some stage, I think.

You're hanging shit on your own writing. Ballard gets the drinks! Ballard's the new Thorno, yes! Cannot afford that anymore. Alright. Get that O'Kine in here. Does he have a lot of money? I'm not sure he doesn't talk about it enough. Alright. They've had our kind in here.

Does he have a lot of money? I'm not sure he doesn't talk about it enough. Alright. Aussie, Aussie, Aussie! Sorry, that was inappropriate. Jesus Christ. What was harsher than the racism or the bitterness? You know what, let's take a moment out of the podcast

to talk about Tony Abbott. In my opinion, the greatest Prime Minister this country has ever had. Yeah, you said it. Keep Triple J white. All right. Reclaim comedy. Reclaim comedy. Reclaim comedy.

Hey, hang on, you guys. This piece of shit's almost over. It reminds me of my other Rad Dad parody account, at Rad Dad Only Good Version. Rad Dad necks himself. Jenny necks herself. Rad Dad necks himself again. And then Dave Thornton long necks everyone.

Oh, Rad Dad! Dave Thornton long necks everyone alright Dave seriously seriously let's make a pact let's make a pact let's everyone kill ourselves now holy shit

is it done ladies and gentlemen Demi Lovner oh yeah look out Holy shit, is it done? Ladies and gentlemen, Demi Lovner! Oh yeah, look out, there's glass on the floor. Carl broke a glass, but he got shoes on, it's okay. That'd hurt. Yeah.

You're lucky you didn't permanently disfigure your foot and just your calf. Yeah. Do you want to give us a view? Give us a... How do you get up there no mount this state hey let me put the microphone to holy shit it happened it looks amazing Round of applause for Danny from East Brunswick Tattoo. East. What's the website? They got a website?

Get a website. Yeah, get a website. East. Get a website, bro. East Brunswick Tattoos. Please, if you want a tattoo, we're going to get Tommy Daslow a tattoo very, very soon. Yeah. Go to East Brunswick Tattoo. Now, this is the, unless you have any better ideas, this is obviously what I'm so getting for.

The love heart on his arm that says comedy. Yeah. But this is the unless you have any better ideas this is obviously what I'm so getting for the love heart on his arm that says comedy yeah but this is the thing alright Demi's done this I reckon

Demi has to be Demi has to have final say on what goes on my body Demi what are your ideas at the moment

for my podcast my podcast my tattoo make it less shit yeah cancel it cancel the podcast and your body please it less shit. Yeah. Cancel it. Cancel the podcast and your body please.

I've drawn a couple so far I don't know whether anyone's seen it. Like one of them was Carl's phone number. Actually no response from that so don't go with that. What about Carl's girlfriend's phone number? Hello, Tim? Go, Tim! Go, Tim! Go, Tim! Go, Tim!

I did, like, there was a dolphin with massive tits. I was thinking maybe, like, a slutty Westgate or something. Slutty Westgate is real good. How does a slutty Westgate or something. Slutty Westgate is real good. How does a slutty Westgate work? Just rooted a bunch. Westgate Bridge rooted a bunch of people. No, just like the bridge, but instead of the pylons, they're holding it up like fishnet legs.

Oh, yeah, that's good. I thought you meant like the Westgate with fucking heaps of blokes jumping off it. Fucking look at it. Just imagine licking one of the pylons Carl, yeah that'd be good I get it Yeah what do you guys reckon? I feel like the listeners should have some kind of say, I mean people chipped in Dolphin with tits

What? Dolphin with tits? Round of applause for Dolphin with tits Round of applause for Carl's phone number. I actually don't want that to happen. But... And then, but then, also a disclaimer right under

just a little sentence that says ring in case of root. But what about love heart with comedy in it? That was the loudest noise. Let's get that one.

Pretty good. Slutty Westgate? I think it's the phone number. I think it's the phone number. Shit, why didn't you come up? Oh, what about your original one? A stick drawing of me with a T-shirt that says, I love pussy and pussy is spelt wrong.

Oh, that's in the mix. What about my phone number spelt wrong? What about like a really stale wart? I think that actually should be it What about we end this podcast? Oh, you know what? Actually, this is something I haven't set up But let's do it

So, I know Ronnie has been on the show already tonight but this is an actual thing so Ronnie hit me up and we're very quickly round of applause for Demi Lardner one more round of applause for her doing like a fucking champion, just break more glass. Cool. Yes. This is an actual thing. So Ronnie Chang hit me up and went,

Hey, Carl. I need to get rid of some shirts. I was like, oh, we've got the podcast coming up. You're overseas. Do you need to get rid of some merch? Awesome. You just want to give him some merch that you want to get rid of. And he was like, oh, not merch, just shirts.

What do you mean? That's the same thing. You want to get rid of some of your T-shirts. He's like, yeah, some of the T-shirts I've worn before. So I have literally got tonight a big bunch of T-shirts that Ronnie Chang has worn before. Oh, my God. That he wants me to give to you. Oh, let's do it.

So if you've ever thought of cloning some fucking rich, sensitive, autistic fucking maniac. This is the weirdest thing. My mum lent me money during the week To buy a t-shirt cannon So this is This is the perfect outcome So I've actually got How many did he give you? Because you did

You turned up with a big bag Full of clothing And I couldn't work out I thought you'd fucking Actually lost your mind I've got Jesus Christ Are these the t-shirts

That he's too fat to wear anymore? Does he think this is the Salvation Army? What are you doing? Yeah, I've just got a bunch of... Should we just chuck him into the crowd? Is that how we do this? How should we do this? Do you want it?

What the fuck? What's wrong with this guy? Actually, that one's alright. I don't know. This is from Stereo Sonic. Ronnie went to the Stereo Sonic Music Festival What the fuck Oh man it was fully hectic bro

It was fucking amazing Ronnie's getting rid of his Superman t-shirt Get a website Oh shit What is this He's got a t-shirt of How to tie a tie

Carl you keep this one Because of how to tie a tie. Carl, you keep this one because I had to do your tie up for you before the gig, you stupid fucking idiot. How rich is this motherfucker? Mars University. What a fucking nerd. Do you think he's a nerd? Jesus Christ.

Nike. Nike. Priest Trail Run 1978. Did he buy all of his t-shirts at fake markets in Thailand? Oh, no, wait. This is the nerdiest one of all. It's a picture of a girl and underneath it says, shut the fuck up, I'm Leet Hacksaw. Ronnie.

Hashtag no puss. Such a coincidence Because Luke McGregor Gave me a bag of his underwear That he wanted to give away Tonight as well Oh man It's really weird

That he's giving these away A picture of Shakespeare What? But it says Prose before ho What? Fuck Here's another one That says Shakespeare hates your emo poems Prose before hoes. What? Fuck.

Here's another one that says Shakespeare hates your emo poems. It's from the Rodney James Shakespeare collection. What's his fucking gripe with Shakespeare? I think we should get Rodney up here to explain himself. Don't you think? Rodney, Rodney, Rodney. Don't explain your fashion choices. Here's one of just a bikini babe. Just with no text.

Just a girl Hey you got my t-shirts? Yeah Ronnie what's going on with your fashion choices man? Yeah they're just good shirts What's the problem? I don't understand Show me that shirt I'll explain why it's good Yeah show me that

It's a hand giving a red card So any haters can know Get the fuck out of my face Get the fuck out of my face you're red card. Yes, a hand giving a red card so any haters can know get the fuck out of my face. Get the fuck out of my face, you're red carded. Man, that's you've actually backed that up. Well done. Hang on, here we go. Here we go. It's

a ruler and a rock and the ruler is saying to the rock, you rock, and the rock is saying to the ruler, you rule. Yeah. It's one of the biggest laughs we've had all night go fuck each and every one of yourselves just a just a classic pun classic shirt like that's that's just what i rock every day i rock it i rock that shirt yeah and i rule when i wear that shirt yeah you know you know what i'm talking about oh fuck all fuck. Alright. Yeah, okay. Can I just go now?

Yeah, you can go. Ronnie Chang. Sorry. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah, no worries. He flew back to Montreal and then he flew back

just for that little interlude. We usually try and sell our own t-shirts at the end of the gig but now we're trying to give away Ronnie Chang's t-shirts. Alright, we're going

through some... You already got yours on. Got it on. Nice. Ronnie Chang's Superman line. Alright, we're literally going through some cunt's! You already got yours on. Get it on. Nice. Roddy Chang's Superman line. Alright, we're literally going through some cunts laundry now. It's time to end this podcast. Ladies and gentlemen, please give it up.

Xavier Michaelides. Anne Edmonds. Tom Ballard. Greg Larson. Demi Lardner. Roddy Chang. Dave Thornton. Nick Cody.

Nick Cody. Dilruk Jaisingha. Oh! Danny from East Brunswick Tattoos. Fucking give it up. Can we, and because Dilruk, you know, some people think that Dilruk wasn't here tonight, but obviously he was. But can we play a quick tribute to go out on to Dilraba Jaising who is very clearly here already but someone called someone by the last but someone by the name of Terry pedestrian may have put something together for us as a tribute to do rock let's hit it new we do three cheers over you guys first

You may know him from absolutely no TV Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Dil Dil Dil's laughing like the Josiah cat. Disgusting fat. You disgusting fat. Because I'm fat. I went to a nightclub, nightclub, nightclub.

What is this? Oh my god. Did my acid just kick in? What the fuck is this? Oh my god. Not again! Not again! See you, mate. I need to go get a massage

horrible I think that's what Ronnie listened to when he went to Stereo Sonic that time guys give yourselves a big round of applause for coming out to see the show. Thank you so much to everyone who listens at home, sends us dumb shit on Twitter,

all the comics who've been on over 250 episodes and you know what? To my dear friend Carl Chandler, it is so much fun hanging out with you every week and in front of all these people, I want to ask you will you do another 250 episodes of a podcast with me don't take pictures of our private moments Guys thank you very much for coming down And for listening at home to the Dumb Dumb Club

250th episode Thanks for listening and we'll see you next time See you next time See you next time We are the champions