The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 252 - Lehmo & Celia Pacquola

Episode Date: August 5, 2015

Easter Eggs, Coincidences and Family Feud Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey mates, welcome once again into the little dum-dum club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Daslow. Sitting next to me, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day dickhead. How you going there? Yeah, I'm okay. Because we've talked about how we've got cameras on us now.

We're filming this little thing for Channel 31, a little TV show. It's just a televised audio podcast. Yeah, a little television. A little. A little Channel 31. Hey, for the little Dumb Dumb Club. It's fine. Little's a compliment in a way.

And I've just been conscious of going, I've never had to prepare for our podcast by thinking, I wonder how my hair looks. Yeah. But now, are you, is that why you've got the hat on every week now? I am consciously now dressing a little, yeah. Are you? Is this consciously dressing a little, is it? Yeah, kind of, yeah.

Well, all right. Fuck, what were you wearing before? Well, you've just said you've done your hair. You look like fucking Ace Ventura. You've got a bit up the front that is way too high. Oh, good, all right. That's what I was aiming for, so good. All righty then.

Shut it down, guys. Turn the cameras off. This is over. Well, today on the show, two guests that we're very excited about. First of all, you know her from Utopia. And have you been paying attention? Please welcome back in a little dum-dum club, Celia Pacola. Hi.

Hi. I don't know how I feel about the filming. It's strange. Well, you've dragged yourself off the sickbed. You're probably the only person in here that should feel comfortable in front of the camera. That's why I like doing little podcasts. It's a little break from the show. As soon as we've got audio, as soon as we've got visual stuff in here, all we get on Twitter

and Facebook is, oh, fuck, you guys are ugly. You're fucking idiots. Why would you do that? Jesus Christ. And people go into me, clean your bloody bookshelf. What's all this? I can see crap in the background. It's just my house.

This isn't a TV studio. Has anything happened? Sorry, I'll bring this up. Do you want to introduce? Let's also, joining us from Gold FM Breakfast and also Utopia, please welcome back into the Little Dumb Dumb Club, Lima. Thanks, guys. I came on the condition that it would be filmed.

Really? I just feel like you're making a thing harder for people to use. Like podcast is great because you can use it on the move. Oh, yeah, no, but we're not getting rid of the podcast. It's just an additional thing. Yeah. This is like we've got the audio for the people that are on the move that have got stuff to do and we've got Channel 31 show for people

that have got absolutely no life. Have you ever gone up and done anything other than just sat? No. Right, okay. But this is what's great about it. There's no direction here. It's just sit down. Yeah.

It's not like watch it and then you'll get to see the cool stuff that you couldn't get from just listening to it. Well, in terms of the TV version of this, this is the first time that we've actually mentioned what's going on. So it goes on at 10pm on a Saturday night. Let's do a little Easter egg for people that only watch it and don't listen.

What is Carl holding? Secret sound, hey? Secret sound, people on TV. See, that is what I'm talking about. People on TV will know what that is. That's a good idea. I think it's a brilliant idea because quite often I will hear a conversation on a podcast or the radio and I think to myself, fuck, I wish I could see that conversation.

I wonder how big his nose is. Now you know. But what I like about this is that the first episode of this that went out, we watched it, we live tweeted it. It was on Channel 31, Saturday nights at 10pm. And at no point do we mention that this is video of a podcast recording. So it just looks like the shittest, most low-budget TV chat show of all time. It's like, why are they talking into microphones?

Why don't they have lapels on? Why is it in someone's messy living room? But that's part of the charm, Celia. I'm not sure. Have we got the ratings back from Channel 31 yet? I don't know. Do we know if it spikes at 10 o'clock on a Saturday night? I think there's a bump.

Is there a bump? There's a bump. Yeah, yeah. There was a bump in our house. I was home a couple of weeks ago and we were having drinks and I saw a tweet saying it was coming up. Yep. So I put it on and Rosie was at our house having drinks.

Adam Rosenbach's? Yeah. Tom Gleeson. So we got all excited and we watched it for about three minutes and then went we'll put the music back on. Don't insult your own. Did you leave the vision on but

had the sound off and music on? Well that's part of our marketing plan to get ratings to get each of our guests to go round to people's houses and turn the TV on. So we've got two ratings, two ratings points apparently. You've got two ratings. I think Limo's now watched more episodes of this show than we have. Oh, good.

Thanks for clearing that up. I was confused. Yeah. Well, because you've been a little sick and you then said you'd still come. Yeah. But then I remembered I hadn't told you yet that this was being filmed. Yeah. Which then seemed like another layer of.

I put a bit of slap on. We put you in wardrobe and now you're fine. Wardrobe and makeup. I don't care. I've given up. You've just come back from the same musical festival that has destroyed Tommy Daslow's vocal cords. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I was only there for two days.

But I went for sunshine and it rained the whole time. It was very annoying. Would I be right in saying, Celia, that you're in the bracket of people that are up there doing gigs like a job for proper money, whereas Tommy Daslow might be in the bracket of we'll give you a free ticket to the festival and you can go and do your riddles? I got paid. Oh, really?

Yeah, I got money. Oh, okay. Oh, well done. Thanks. Here's another little thing for the audio part of it. Thank you. Well done. Oh, I'm done. Thanks. Here's another little thing for the audio part of it. Thank you. Well done. Oh, I'm about to

come. Here's another sweet visual. Thank God it's being filmed. I look forward to watching this back at Limo's house

on Saturday night. And for two days, I definitely would have spent the money that I was paid. Really? Yeah. You went shopping?

What do you do at the music festival? Just booze and stuff because I went up to a bar two days early because it was supposed to be a holiday in the sun for me because I had my wisdom teeth out and I was going Yeah What do you You went shopping What do you do at the music festival Just booze and stuff Because I went up to Byron a day Two days early Because it was supposed to be a holiday And the sun for me

Because I had my wisdom teeth out And I was going to have a little break And it rained and rained and rained But like I just so I got a massage Like I It wasn't

I spent it I reckon about broke even But it was fun You got your wisdom teeth out Yeah All foursies Oh wow All my whizzies apparently

In one hit One go Knock me out Get him out Wait was this at the festival? Yeah Is that where you spent your money on? Yeah yeah

It was next to the Nah Robo's a doctor He'll do it It was next to the Give her some anaesthetic No no no Not that sort I said this

This is true And I've said this before But they I'm not good with needles I really freak out But the anaesthetist Was telling me jokes So I wouldn't have a panic attack even though i wasn't having a panic attack isn't that a weird job combination that anesthetists need to be sort of really charming

and almost a comedian anyway he was telling me really inappropriate jokes right and did it work yeah so he was like oh i can't do that i would say that was really bad to make you sound but anyway but when i was on the actual operating table, it was about – I want to hear that other one. You had a fat chick in. It was like, oh, so there was this fat chick. I didn't use – it was like – We don't like to use terms like that on the podcast. And I had to give her a needle in the spine and I said to her,

I'm going to have to come at you from behind. She said, oh, no one's come at me from behind for a long time. And he was like, well, and this is what he was saying to me. And then he put me on the table and that's all the surgeons and then he goes, I'm just going to give you some mother's milk. And I went, what? And he said, it's just stuff they gave Michael Jackson.

And I laughed at that. And then I got knocked out and woke up. This guy's like a blue Pat Chathams. It was really great. Isn't that funny? I thought that was so funny. And then I got knocked out and woke up. This guy's like a blue Patch Adams. It was really great. Isn't that funny? I thought that was the funniest. I find that funny whenever someone says,

oh, you know, I don't like, you know, I've got a thing against needles. No, no, but I know no one enjoys that. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But I will have a faint, pass out, like panic attack. So you'll never be a successful heroin addict? No, no, no. Thank fuck. Jesus, don't ever let me try ice or anything.

With my personality, I just could. Imagine being an unsuccessful heroin addict. That's a weird thing. I really tried. I couldn't keep trying. A heroin addict hates needles. What a loser. Have to get a doctor to tell you dirty jokes. Yeah, yeah.

You have to... It's junky to tell you jokes. No, you still get the heroin in the spoon, but it's like the aeroplane. Come on. Come on. You just inject a bit of ice cream and you eat that. Can you just eat it? Oh, yeah.

Can you? Heroin? Yeah. I guess. I did an Uma Thurman. She snorted it in Pulp Fiction, although that ended badly. With a needle. It ends with a needle.

That also wasn't a documentary. Yeah. Fuck off. This is what I think about needles. I just think With all the technology That we have We've been to this Bloody moon for fuck's sake

Why can't we figure out How to put What's in a needle In a capsule Yeah Well you would have thought Landing on the moon Would have solved that

No I get it I thought that'd be A needle to pill factory On the moon And it wasn't Hopefully this new Kepler Imagine if they got

To the moon And NASA just closed down And went We've got to make this Easier for junkies. We've clocked space. Now let's go on to the final frontier. So what are NASA's big achievements?

The upside-down pen Velcro. Chewable heroin. Dissolvable. I'm not fussy. Like we're, you know. I think you are fussy if you're asking for a different option for heroin. Anyway, so I did that. Yeah.

We just had a live show. We did our 250th episode two weeks ago, two episodes ago now. I had an interesting, like we tend to talk a lot about the people that listen to this show and their reactions to us, as we've already talked about already. Scum, I believe, is our nickname for them. I think that's their nickname for us, to be fair. Our live show that we did, the 250th, we have a thing, I guess, this love-hate thing with

our listeners, with the people that we call aware of our show rather than fans of our show. Because they listen every week, but then all the feedback we get is just mean. Yeah. Constant abuse. We're feeding it somehow by talking about it it's this weird symbiotic relationship that we have we're all fucked now apparently so um so they're kind of booing you from yeah something like that in a way so i uh and we we try and we try and make the most of of you know the listeners that we have we go you know

if you appreciate the show come out and see a live show come out and you know give a little bit back that'd be great because we spend a lot of time harassing people that really should be doing stuff that's more important to come here we use our own time to do the podcast if you could give a little back that'd make it all worthwhile and uh and some people just sort of flout it and go we're not fucking going we're not going to do anything we're just going to download it for free and i met a guy at a comedy night and he came up and went oh never met you before great to meet you love to give back but you know look i just i just uh and i said why don't you come to a live show he goes look i'd love to but i'm broke i

can't afford that sort of money to come to your live show i'm like oh it's not that much but anyway yeah sure okay then he goes you know what wouldn't mind buying one of your t-shirts then i was like the t-shirts are $30. Tickets to the show is $20. I don't think he's short of money at all. He just literally doesn't want to see us. He's happy to be covered in our logo, but he doesn't want to physically see us. I think that sums up our listeners.

Good news, you started making a TV show then. I can hear you, but not see you. Is that why you've done this? You're like, I'm going to make you look at us. You will see what my face is like. We're going to shove our faces down your throat somehow. God damn it. We have no one to blame but ourselves, really.

This is the culture that we've created. We birthed these people. It's pretty mean, guys. You go on the air, you talk about nice things. You guys have careers where you do nice, wholesome, fun shows. It's pretty mean, guys. You know, you go on the air, you talk about nice things. You know, you guys have careers where you do nice, wholesome, fun shows. Yeah, it's true. You guys are inciting this. Quite frankly, I'm a little uncomfortable right now.

I'm comfortable as well. You're nice. We're that way. We're drawing just the negativities a bit too much. I know. I mean, can we just, you know. Can we just be nice every once in a while? Yeah.

Can we just be glad about something? Let's be happy. Let's be happy. Let's be a glass half full. All right. That guy, he bought a T-shirt with a happy. Let's spare glass half full. Alright, that guy, he bought a t-shirt with a pitch review on it. Yeah.

Well, he didn't. But anyway, he said he would but he didn't actually do it. Make sure there were no t-shirts there. Yeah, yeah, there was no t-shirts

on the song. He's aware that we have t-shirts. It's gotten quite full on because the last live show I did, that was the first time I'd realised how far the abuse stuff

with Dil had gone. Do you remember the live one during Comedy Festival? Let's try not to call it abuse. Let's call it... It was full on. He's involved in it as well. Good old fashioned ribbing. Yes. A banter, I believe it's called. I don't know, it's not my... It's not your style. Yeah, I don't know. I wish it was.

I wish I was a bloody oh, yeah, you... You wish it was? Well, shut up. No, you don't wish it at all. Yeah, no, that doesn't help. No, you don't wish it at all. Me being able to do it. Does Dil really like it? Does he get home and then cry himself to sleep? That's what I said as well.

That's exactly what I said, Lou. Does he get home and go, I just want to be popular. You're going to wreck our show. And they seem to be – I want them to be my friends. No, we shouldn't talk too much about this because I think we get hit up by a lot of people going, we like you, all right? Some people insult you and some people don't insult you. So just take it easy.

Just be, take it for granted that you've got people that listen. Just, okay, all right. There's some people that like us and some people that like to hate us, I think. Let's put it that way. All right. What's the percentage breakdown? Remember Howard Stern in the film Private Parts They said 60% of people listening

40% like him And 60% hate him Oh really? Oh right Yeah because you know You like to watch I watch Fox News Channel Because I know exactly

Why I hate it Yeah I get a certain joy out of it Yeah So our numbers are going up All the time But you think there's Hate listeners

Yeah and they know Exactly why they hate you Those fucking guys There's people on the treadmill in the gym going you fucking idiots you're the workout soundtrack oh god well let me tell i think i don't know if this is a thing that's happened that's a listener of the show i almost i hesitated to talk about it because i i don't know if i want to feel this but um someone's done a bit of an identity theft job of me on Twitter. I showed Carl this yesterday.

Someone set up a fake Twitter account of me where they've used the same picture. I looked into it. I looked into what you do on Twitter to get rid of this, like to declare, hey, I want this gotten rid of. And you have to put up a photo of your ID, like you have to take a photo of your driver's licence, which that's not like my, you know, that's a different name on there. So then you've also got to provide proof if you're using a different name, which seems weird that I have to jump through the hoops to prove

that I'm me but someone can pretend to be you and just do it without any hassle. You know what I mean? Well, it happened to me. Good news. That's how you get the blue tick. Yes. I got it because there was a fake me. Was there really?

Yeah, and so I just woke up one day and I went, guess what? Congratulations. Between my emails from Amazon and LinkedIn and bullshit was like, guess what? It's blue tick day. I'm getting the blue tick. And I don't have that many. Well, that's what happened. You've got to get blue tick.

He can't get a blue tick before me. He's already got a Wikipedia page. You don't have a blue tick? In fact, it makes me think that he's a mastermind that he's owned. I wanted to get a blue tick. But you've got a fake. Isn't that you, Mrs. Chinanda Labong? No.

Mrs. Chinanda Labong. I. Mrs. Chananda Labong. I don't have any fake ones like that. And unlike you, I don't like to publicise that sort of harassment because I get a lot of it and I go, I don't even tell you about most of it because I think it's not going to get on the show, I'm not going to fan the flames. However, we do have a running thing at the moment

where someone, my Chandler, CarlChandler.com, I let it lapse. Someone then took that over. You can now buy fake Air Jordans on CarlChandler.com. On CarlChandler.com. Yep. Remind me in case I forget, I got hacked. Let me tell you about it after.

I got hacked today. Oh, all right. It's a coincidence. I just got a bunch of Twitter people but my password was already like 30 letters long.

So I've changed it again and it's now like 50. It's like two sentences. Really? Your password is just the word 50? Because I just got hacked. No,

it's just full because I couldn't believe I got hacked with my password. Is that your password? I couldn't believe I got hacked. I couldn't believe

I got hacked. All one word. No, it's abusive stuff to ex-boyfriends. It makes me feel funny. Because one time an ex-boyfriend got into my email and someone said you should change your email. So I changed the password to like fuck you, this person.

Great. Just in case they did it again and I think it would be funny because then they'd know that I'd know. But anyway. I don't know if I've talked about this on the show. I've talked about it on stage. But like the security questions that you have for your email are just what's your mum's maiden name?

Yeah. Why is that? Yeah, anyone can find that out. That is not hard to find out. What's the name of your pet? Your pet, yeah. Now, first pet. School teacher.

Yeah. You know, you have to fill those when you have a kidnapping brief with the army. Yeah, I know. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're aware. You have to answer those questions in case you get rescued from a kidnapping situation. So the SAS will quick to ensure your identity will ask you those questions.

Those ones? To make sure you're – Oh, right. You're using – So is the SAS run by Hotmail? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So imagine just the pressure. Someone's trying to hack in and get rescued illegally?

How does that work? No, no. First high school teacher. In case they go – in case you're dead and they're saying you're not dead. Is that why? I'm sure if you're being held in some, like, an ISIS fucking safe house, they need to make sure that you're Carl Chandler. Right.

So the only way they can ensure that is to say, what's your mum's maiden name? Yeah. Oh, that's fraught with danger because it's like, what's your mum's maiden name? That's fraught with danger because it's like, what's your first dog's name? Spotty. No, I've got here, his name was Tiny. Oh fuck, I forgot about him though. Oh, come back!

What if your thing was like, what's your mum's birthday? And then you get killed and also you get in shit with your mum because you don't know. But is it like with email accounts where they'll knock you back and go, no, that password's not strong enough? Oh, yeah.

Yes, I ask you like, yeah, the 7th of June. It's like, that's a bit obvious. Do you have any dogs with names that go for 73 characters? One uppercase. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Two numbers at the end. Yeah, put a number in your dog's name somewhere. Sprinkle 7.

Fido 8. Yeah, put a number in your dog's name somewhere. Sprinkle 7. 508. I had trouble changing a password once on Apple and I was getting so annoyed at trying to change the password and it wouldn't take a password that I eventually – how much can we swear on this? I've been doing it. It's a podcast. Fucking heaps can't go for it.

So I changed my password because I was so angry to fuck you cunt. Right? And accepted it. So I thought I'm going to leave it. Right? Anyway, then I'm away with Kel, my wife, and her mum is house sitting and goes to buy something. So rings Kel and says, what's the password for your Apple account?

So Kel says to me, what's the password? Mum wants to know. I'm like, oh. Oh, mate. It's fuck you, cunt. But can you just explain? I was really angry at the time. Spell it.

It was my first dog's name. So the girl's mum's typing in fuck you, cunt. Carlton.com, I let it lapse. Not a listener of the show, just someone has randomly poached it. You can buy fake Air Jordans on there now. So then I talked about this on the show. I said, you know what? I'm going to go straight out and buy carlshandler.com.au.

I didn't go out. I let it go. I didn't think about it. You don't even have to go out. You can do it from your house. I didn't go to the website shop. No, the website shop's closed Yeah

Only have nine to five Yeah So It's Sunday They're not even open So CarlTandler.com.au I said I'm going to do that

I didn't do that Someone I let it lap Someone else went in And grabbed that So The last couple of weeks What has there been

The first week there was When you went to carlchanler.com.au you got how to tell if you've bought fake Air Jordans so the antidote

to carlchanler.com was carlchanler.com.au this weird little puzzle happening then they changed it to they changed it to like Dil Rock Jai Singh's

Twitter account so if you put in my website address it would just go straight to Dil's Twitter account. So if you put in my website address, it would just go straight to Dil's Twitter account. Oh, okay. Then last week they put in, last episode I talked about how they put in a wiki how page of how to propose to your girlfriend,

which I didn't really understand the relevance of that. In between the two of those, there was the website for the Westgate Bridge. Oh, there was the Westgate Bridge homepage. So I thought, you know what, new episode today. I thought I'll just check. I just checked literally just then. All right, what have we got?

Oh, he's putting his password in. Oh, no. So I just found out, and this is the inexplicable one. Now if you go to calchandler.com.au, there's a story with the headline, all the world's cows on treadmills could power 6% of the earth. All the world's cows on treadmills. You know% of the earth. All the world's cows on treadmills. You know what? It's not a bad stat.

That's surely today's episode that just came out. We're talking about putting Dill on a treadmill. Oh. If he doesn't lose that weight. Oh, of course. That's what it is. What's your reference to that? Yeah, of course.

I don't listen to our show, so I don't remember what happens on it. Okay, so that's a reference to Dill. Because we're talking about he's losing weight over the next 10 weeks or whatever it is and he's going to go on a treadmill on the final episode if he hasn't lost it by then. That's his little – Now, this is something that he's decided for himself. It's the one good thing that's ever come from this show.

Yes. We're encouraging him to be healthy. I feel like you don't believe us. You guys both got hacked. What was your one, Limo? I think he's lost four kilograms in tears. My website got hacked and my manager rang me and said, do you know your website's been hacked?

I said, no. I said, what's on there? And it was like there was some Turkish flagsish flags and then some stuff in arabic and it was kind of hard to tell exactly what was going on but that but i thought you know that's a bit annoying i should do something about that and i kind of just forgot about it because i don't go to my website a lot i refer people there if they want you know those or a cv or something you're not always you're not always going i wonder what limo's up to let's just let's just go to his website check it anyway fast forward six, I've done nothing about it.

And for the project, I go out to primary schools and interview kids about, you know, it's a kids sort of done this thing kind of vibe, right? Yep. Anyway, I'm going to this one school and so the teacher says to the kids, oh, Limo's coming out from the project. And the kids are like, oh, this is great. Well, we should look up his website. So they go to my website.

But what had happened in between is the hack continually got worse. So by the time the kids went on, the homepage of my website were images. And I'm not even going to say what the images were. Think of the most horrific thing you can think of. Did it work on the treadmill? It was like mind-blowingly horrific what was on my website and all these kids went, and then like the teachers trying to shut it down

and ringing the pro. Now, again, as an Easter egg, should we be showing what's on your website for the cameras? We'll take them down. So if you go to my website, it just is nothing. So I'm getting a remade. But it was like I was a fool. It was pretty ugly.

Oh, wow. That's full on. Because that's a person doing that. Yeah. So that was so who knows where. Like a swordfish actual hacker thing. Because I got my email sending out spams. And I think that's not a person hacker.

It's just like a spam bot, isn't it? I like to think it makes me feel better that it's a robot rather than a person sitting there with my email address trying to guess which of my ex-boyfriends I hate the most. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you know? Like I like to think it's just a random and it just sort of sprays out this thing and every now and then it gets you but I've got a lot

of people's emails. I reckon I could put in a pretty educated guess about which one. But how would I spell it? Well, just very quickly talking aboutes, can I bring this up? This is another thing we talked about recently. I was in Japan for a couple of weeks.

Yeah, I haven't even asked you how that was. It was great. Terrible for a kid. We talked about this on the show about how I found out about a few days before that my ex-girlfriend was going to be in Japan at the same time as me, in Tokyo at the same time as me. So I start to think, well, of course I'm going to run into her. Because only how many people live in Tokyo? Well, that's it.

But that's it. This is the most insane thing that could happen. So of course this will happen. And I freaked out and I thought I saw her in a train station and I went, I'm losing my fucking mind. This can't be real. We put that episode up. I then get a text message two days later saying, hey,

from my ex saying, hey, my friend, I saw my friend and she just told me she listened and that you talked about how you saw me in a train station and I was in Tokyo Station Killing Time on this date and I thought I saw you but I thought, nah, that's crazy. Oh, my gosh. And the date was the day that I was there. Station Killing Time on this date. Oh, my God. And I thought I saw you, but I thought, nah, that's crazy. Oh, my God. And the date was the day that I was there. Oh, wow. I checked my diary.

Like, I've – yeah, that's fucked me up real bad. If coincidences were a thing, that'd be one. Don't you believe in coincidences? Well, do you know what? You know, you'd think I would, but then I read a thing. It's just – coincidences just seem so incredible because you remember them because they're weird. You don't remember the hundreds of millions of times that it's not weird. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, right. I mean, I still think that's unlikely. So instead of the word coincidence, it should be a thing that happens very rarely. Yeah. Yeah, right. That you're more likely to remember. Yes, okay. Because it's unusual.

Hang on, is that your password? Yeah. 67. Unusual. Hang on, is that your password? Yeah. 67. Years ago, my wife was in New York,

and she's walking down the street, and someone stops her and says, can I take a photo of you for a Japanese fashion magazine? And she says, yeah, sure, I guess. So they take a photo of her, and she doesn't think anything of it. Two years later, her sister is in Tokyo and goes to get a tattoo, and she's in the waiting room at the tattoo parlour and just picks up a magazine and flicks it open and there's my wife. Wow. In the magazine.

Wow. In Tokyo. Yeah. Two years later. They're not a coincidence. No. Yeah. A thing that happened.

Yeah. Well, I mean, it's still impressive. I like they're still good. They still make you go, happened. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's still impressive. I like – they're still good. They still make you go, wow. Yeah. What I always think with coincidences is how often do you just miss something? Yeah. You know, you have those crazy –

Yeah. Yeah. Well, you kind of just missed that. You just found out later on with the ex. Yeah. But how many times do you just walk past someone? Yeah. If that had happened five minutes later, it's like no story.

Yeah. Yeah. And that must happen a lot. Well, but also it's like you five minutes later, it's like no story. Yeah. Yeah. And that must happen a lot. Well, but also it's like you go, oh, it's this big coincidence. It's like, well, no, we were just there at the same time because Jetstar had a cheap sale for that window of time. Yeah. It's like when someone says...

It's not quite like, oh, my God, I can't believe I saw someone from Australia in Bali, but it's close. Yeah. Yeah, but people do misuse it where they'll be like, oh, my God, I was down at the park and I saw my neighbour. What a small world. It's like this story takes place on the one block. Yeah, but people do misuse it where they'll be like, oh my God, I was down at the park and I saw my neighbour. What a small world. This story takes place on the one block. Yeah, yeah.

Still, I feel like I've stepped on some magic. Feel bad if it's all magical stuff and I went, no, it's just the world, mate. No, because I feel like I've brought it down. Well, my point is like I – because I always think that like the most – like kind of the worst thing is going to happen. Like I'm quite – I tend to be quite pessimistic. But I've recently gotten better at it because I go, you have no evidence for this.

Like there's no – this has never happened before. So just put it away. And now like I thought this would be so fucked if i saw her in japan and then i thought i didn't i thought i was having a panic attack and it actually was true like it actually has happened yeah so i feel like that's now put me back where now i have evidence that things like that the world is against you yes exactly the evidence thing ruins stuff right because people go like what's the worst thing that could happen which is a terrible thing to say to me because I'm like heaps of stuff.

So many bad things, right? Like for example, when I was in high school I went to a party and a boy tipped a bowl of salsa on my head, which was the worst. It was really bad, right? And ever since then, whenever that's just get – the things just get added to what could happen. Like so even now, if I'm going to a party where I don't know anyone, people go, it'll be fine. I go, well, you don't know that.

I could have a bowl of salsas in my hand because that has actually happened and I know that it can happen. So you're having to do a sweep of the party beforehand, make sure there's no salsa there? No, I don't, but I'm just aware that it could happen and now I'm prepared for it. Well, I'm not, but I've got everything I have the evidence for, but everything that I'm expecting that will happen

usually doesn't happen Which is a terribly painful way to live your life Why did he tip the saucer on your head? Oh because I was a teenage girl And he was a teenage boy And I don't know I think I was going out with his friend And he was a jerk

And it would have been funny Like it probably was funny Yeah Not to me Smell And it was a party at like a cricket club And I just remember like I might have been

Washing my hair In like Adrenals or something Pathetic And it smelled like Like it had like Tomato waft All around me

Yeah I'm cool Again I'm just making it all sad But Jenny But that just happened And now that I know That that could happen

Again And how does Because you see Is this fair to say You're a fairly pessimistic person But I don't think you let it turn you into a person who lives their life in fear like you almost seem excited by it most of the time yeah i see well look it's a good it's a good point it's a good it's a good little quandary that you make because i get told a lot of times that i'm very pessimistic and i'm very negative about everything. But that's, I feel like that must

be just being expunged from me because in my head I'm not pessimistic at all. I'm like, everything's pretty cool but it must be just me getting it out of my system. I'm like, I don't know why everyone's calling me this. I'm like having a great old time. I'm never sad. I'm like, this is great. How good's life?

But I'm just, I must be just pushing that onto everyone else. That is a very funny thought. Yeah. You've never struck me as a particularly negative dude. Oh, good. I mean scary, yeah. Oh, right, okay.

I don't scare myself. Again, to me, in my head I'm just like, oh, I'm probably the greatest guy going. I would sum you up as being like, you think everything's going to go wrong, but you're fine with that and you're prepared for that. Yeah, okay. Because your approach, especially when we do live shows in places, you turn up going, of course this place is going to be fucked.

I know this is going to be fucked. Nothing's going to be set up. Nothing's going to work. To be fair, half of that is because I'm working with you. But then we turn up and it's the case and you go, yeah, here we go. I'm prepared for this. I was ready for this. So you're super negative but you're fine with it.

Yeah. All those negative scenarios. I can't be disappointed. The one thing he's positive about is how negative he is. Right. So if you, in Celia's situation, you could turn up to a party and someone goes, how bad could it be? Yeah.

Salsa tipped on your head. Yeah. And you go, wow. I like salsa. Back in the day, you were the guy doing the salsa tipping. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, okay, because I was feeling bad coming to the party, then I tipped salsa on Celia's head. I'm like, what a great party. I'm a great guy going around. Hey, I want to quickly bring up this. We've talked a lot about internet stuff. I found, I don't know if either of you have seen this little web game. It's a little thing called, what's it called?

It's called the Akinator. I think it's like French or something. And it's one of those weird little things where it's a little screen and you think of a person and then the screen asks you questions and they're like yes or no or don't know or probably. And then you go down this whole trail and then it knows what you're thinking. It knows who you're thinking of. A famous person?

So you can think of like I did it like I think the first thing I did was like Bart Simpson and it gets it. So you do like 30 questions. So for example, talk us through what happened to get you to Bart Simpson. So it'll be like, is your character real? Is your character male? Is your character on a cartoon? Is your character American?

And then it'll get more specific and go, does it have yellow skin? Does it have four fingers? So I start doing it. I'm like, wow, I'm doing it with some friends. I'm like, this is amazing. This is really incredible. And then I'm putting like weird characters from memes into it and it's getting them.

I'm like, this is insane. And so then my friend tries to find me in there because we start getting more and more obscure. And it's one of those things where if you get to – And when you go more obscure, you tend to get to Tommy Dasso eventually. We were playing for 19 hours just going down the ladder. But it's one of those things where if it can't – it's just basically it's fuelled by the more people use it, then the more – you know what I mean?

It learns. It has to go on. Right. So if it gets to it and it doesn't get it, if it doesn't get who you've gotten, then you put it in and then that thing goes into the system, right? Right. So my friend got down to the end. It didn't get me, but you and I are in the system because it gives you a list and it's like

which one of these was it was it any one of these and so let me just read you out the list of company that we're on of this program that does this make sense yes sort of here we go here's if you find your character in the following list please click on its name Tommy Dasolo the little dum-dum club Carl Chandler, The Little Dumb Dumb Club. Australian stand-up comedian. I don't get credited as a comedian. That's all right. Oscar Jackman, Hugh Jackman's son.

Whoa! Oh, my goodness. So if you follow it down to a certain point, these are your options of who it is. Do we all have the same characteristics as Oscar Jackman? Oh, there's more. Dave Callan, hairy Irish slash Australian comedian. So we're in the mix with him as well. Joe Avati.

Right. Italian-Australian comedian. Yeah. And then these are the other ones of people I don't know, but this is the last one that I quite like. Fatso the Wombat. So, yeah, that's the the So I thought I would try and do it For the two of you For Celia and Limo

So I don't feel That insulted Like whoever we get Dragged in with That's fine by me But to think if Hugh Jackman Was looking for his son

On this thing And then came up with him Or Fatso the Wombat Like there's going to be Some heavy artillery lawyers Coming down on that If you're in an airport Or something

And he was quickly Trying to gather up the family to get on a plane, he could conceivably grab you, Tommy, instead of his son and drag you on. And I could conceivably accidentally do a podcast with Fatso the Wombo. Exactly. So I put Celia and Limo into it. I tried to see if they would come up. You didn't come up with the list of,

like, here's alternatives. It just guessed wrong. So for Celia, it guessed. You might not know the answers about me. Like, how specific are the questions? What's your email password? We knew that one. Okay, I'll ask you now.

Are you a character on Adventure Time with Finn and Jack? No. Oh, fuck. Okay, all right. It thought you were Billy from MasterChef. Oh, sweet. That's good. No, but see, okay, I like her, but she's got no emotions.

Has she got no emotions? She's amazing and she definitely should have won and she's the best. She did win, didn't she? And she's super cool, calm and really good at it, but she's just like, yay. Oh, really? I was so – it's the most stressful thing I've ever done in my life. Really? Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, well, that's you. No, it's not. No, no, no. How's that? Too many of us. She, to me, she's very striking. She looks a lot like an ex-girlfriend of mine.

Oh. And like with all the good bits bits like she's a very attractive girl actually looks a bit more like limo to be well then I put limo I put limo in there it gets down it's getting it's getting more specific asking about radio you know this is the stuff of stuff. Here we go. Limo, its guest was Barry Humphrey's character Dame Edna Edwards.

I've often been confused for Dame Edna. But it was just the way, because it was asking, it was like so many, yeah, I was like, it's going to get it. I felt really excited. Does he carry gladiolus? Yes. And you're still both up for it? Yeah, yeah.

Oh, good. So weird. But at the same time, like, is it fun? When it gets it, it's pretty amazing. But you know what I mean? Because at the same time, the game is. It's like 20 questions. Yeah.

And the set up of it, like, the way the website's designed, it's a little cartoon of a genie. And so there's a little speech bubble coming out of his mouth. Yeah. And he's asking you questions. He's got this real smug look on his face like, no, no, I'm going to get it. No, I'm going to guess correct.

So I want to ask this, Lima, about you. Because with your name, Lima, I'm always fascinated that that's your business sort of name. That's your showbiz name. That it's a nickname. Yeah, yeah. And because I've been a witness to several little incidents where Tommy Dassler, that's not his real name.

It's his showbiz name. It's his stage name. It's his little pretend name for when he gets on stage and tells riddles. In case the tax office is listening. I don't think he qualifies to be looked at by the tax office. But with Limo, surely you've had a lot of run-ins or confusion or mistakes made. Do you ever get checks made out to Limo? Yeah, I've definitely had checks made out to Limo.

That's happened plenty of times. I did a show called Finding Limo about 12 years ago at the Fringe and the Comedy Festival. Loads of kids came to the show because they thought it was going to be about Nemo Stupid kids thinking Oh they've just misspelt the poster Yeah yeah But I have parents come to me and say My kids

When you've got kids who are two or three And they hear me on the radio And they go that's Nemo They would think I was a fish on the radio Oh really? Yeah when kids are like two That kind of Oh man

I want to live in that world where I think fish are on radio. People have headphones in their bowl. That's the best. I started swearing heaps and talking about sex-fueled drug parties. You can still be a fish. You can still be a fish doing that. Yeah. Man.

That's great. Wouldn't that be magical? And then just, yeah, you know, people pronouncing it wrong, Lena. Is that Italian? Yeah, yeah, right. Where's that from? People get so disappointed. So, Limo, where's that from?

My name's Anthony Lehman. Yeah. Really disappointed. It's just a nickname. Yeah. But what could be the story behind that nickname? Like, there's not a, it's a weird bunch of syllables to put together. It'd be a weird thing to choose.

Yeah. Well, what other? My dad was a lemur. Yeah, yeah put together. It'd be a weird thing to choose. Yeah. Well, what other – My dad was a lemur. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My mum was a mother. It's short for lame mother. I look a lot like a llama, but I also can't spell. Lemur.

Lemur. In Greek it means neck. Does it? Lemur. I used to – Don't lemur yourself. Does it? I used to. Don't name it yourself. Neck. I used to.

I used to eat at a Greek restaurant in Adelaide called the Greek on Halifax and the father of the owner there didn't speak a lot of English but I would come in and he knew me as Lima and he would go, point at his neck and go limo, limo and point at his neck and go, Lemo. Lemo. And pointed his neck. Oh, I love that. I love what you said. Go Lemo yourself. That's good.

I'm going to the Westgate. Don't Lemo yourself. Is there a podcast in the world that has come up with more slang terms for suicide than this one? I don't think so. I don't think they're still around if they have. Speaking of suicide, mate of mine had family feud,

the board game at home. Speaking of suicide, mate of mine had the family

feud board game. Just sit back and enjoy the ride. Anyways, playing it

with his wife and their twin boys or eight, sitting at home. Question.

We've surveyed 100 people. Reasons you would make your way to the top of a building. They go, all right, what are the leftover answers? Go to the eight-year-old. The eight-year-old reads out to mum and dad, suicide.

And they're like, no, we kind of weren't expecting that to be in the family feud board game. And another one was what could be strawberry flavoured, right? So they go ice cream, cake. Hang on. Suicide again? What? Lollies. And then again, one of the eight-year-old boys is reading the answers

that they didn't get. Hey, mummy, what's a condom? Oh, wow. Oh, so the kid read the answer and it was suicide. Yeah, these are not the kids' answers. Oh, I thought that was the kid's answer. Oh, no, not the kid's answer. That is the darkest thing.

This was on... Neck yourself. Yeah, but what's worse, having a kid think of that or having the official answer? If they just read it, then they might not know. They wouldn't know what it is. I think it's worse that an eight-year-old would go. Would suggest that.

Yeah, no, he didn't suggest it. Hey, look, I'm not happy with the makers of Family Feud. It's the first title word of your fucking game. Family. Family. How was I supposed to know? I thought it was going to be played as strip club. And then the feud is between mum and dad

when mum didn't think it was appropriate to play the game and dad was like, no, it'll be fine. Yeah, yeah, it does what it says on the tin. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. When you went to other examples, I thought you were going to say they were all just suicide based. So it's like, what's a common use for a rope?

What's on Limo's website? Grim day down at the Parker Brothers factory. So I think in the next edition of the Family Feud, you've got those questions made up. Hang on, in the Limo's edition of the Family Feud, those questions may not be. Hang on, in the Limo's edition of the Family Feud. Limo. Limo. Next. Well, guys, I think that is just about all the time we have

for the Little Dum Dum Club this week. Limo, Celia, Pecola, thank you so much for joining us. Thanks. Thank you. Things that you'd like to plug, Utopia, you were saying before, is back. Oh, yeah, second series starts August 19th. Oh, very close. Less swearing in it series starts August 19th. Oh, very close. Less swearing in it than we've done here.

Yeah, there is. I know, it's so soon. Yeah. On our ABC. On our ABC, that's right. It is. Limo Gold FM. Yeah, Gold Breakfast, Monday to Friday.

If you're in Melbourne, 6 till 9. I'm going up to Sydney doing my hour show in October. It's A's way, but I don't know anyone in Sydney. Part of the Just for Laughs festival? Yeah. In Sydney in October? Yes. At the Sydney Opera House?

Yeah. Very cool. But not in the thing. In the toilet. But yeah. In the toilet. In the toilet. It's in one of the pointy bits on the roof.

Oh, really? That's a good space for comedy. You abseil into the room. All the people down the back, oh, you fall it off. Yeah, so if you want to come to that, if you're in Sydney, that'd be the best. Please, heaps of listeners in Sydney, so go do that. We got Perth, we got Adelaide, October and November, respectively. And let's say what that means.

We've got shows that we're doing. We're doing live shows, We're doing stand-up. We're doing a live podcast. We're dragging friends over, friends of the show coming over to do the live podcast. It's going to be heaps of fun. If you've been to one, before you know exactly what you're up for, it's going to be a party. And if you haven't, if you're a new listener, you know what? I'm going to say this.

If you're from Perth or Adelaide, in the next couple of months, get your mates into this podcast. Share it around. Give it to them so that we can have more people come along so you've got company. A lot of people don't like to go and see stuff on their own, which is weird.

I find weird. I like going and seeing stuff on my own. It is weird because it's like, you're not, the idea, it's the same with movies. People are weird about someone going to the movies by themselves.

You're not conversing during it. You're sitting there. I love going by myself. Oh, it's the best. It's the best. It's the best. It's so good. I like going to gigs by myself, like music by myself,

because I don't like the idea that someone else might be enjoying it less than me. So I'll be enjoying a band or whatever and going, oh, do you like this? Oh, I don't like that. If I'm there, who cares? I'm there by myself. That's interesting. That's a big pet peeve of mine.

In a movie with a friend, and they're midway through, they're like, boy, this isn't very good. When you've been thinking, this is the best film I've ever seen. And then the whole rest of the time you're like, I feel bad. If you're in Perth or Adelaide and you're getting a friend into the podcast, don't be doing that as well. Don't be listening to podcasts and going, boy, why did you get me into this? Yeah, you've got plenty of time.

Get some mates into it. That'd be awesome. So all that stuff is at littledumbdumbclub.com. You can get tickets from there right now. Guys, thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mates. It's always a good one when you say it. Yeah.