The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 264 - Aunty Donna

Episode Date: October 27, 2015

Tram Loudspeakers, The Chapel and Wayne Kelly.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey mates, we are about to hit the road and head off to our bumper show in the City of Churches, Adelaide, South Australia. How are you feeling about it, Carl? Good, man. Apart from the fact that I'm an agoraphobic, so I'm going to be freaked out by open spaces. I've in my head for a minute, I thought you said arachnophobic I was like how's he going to bring this around I mean there'll be a lot of cobwebs because it's been ages since anyone's sat in those chairs but that doesn't make sense at all

you brought that around from something I didn't say good work yeah I managed to make it fit the narrative that I wanted speaking of narratives that I like how about Adelaide people

getting off their little butts and buying some tickets to that gig yeah go for it Adelaide why not it's um we do say a lot of stuff go for it, Adelaide. Why not? We do say a lot of stuff about how we hate Adelaide. You know, most of it's jokes. I never say that I hate Adelaide.

I used to love Adelaide until they treated us like this. Yeah, actually, I really like Adelaide. I really like the trip that we do because we're in and out on a day. It's such a fun day for us and it's sort of relatively cheap to get over. It's something I'd like to do all the time, but you guys don't want it to happen, so go fuck yourself. Message received. Yep. Loud and clear.

So once again, the farewell tour of Adelaide. Please come along. Tuesday, November 17. We've got hometown hero Demi Lardner. We've got Xavier Michaelides. We've got Nick Cody. I mean, Nick Cody, global superstar at this point. Yeah.

Lucky to have him in town. You're lucky to have him visiting your little one-horse town. We are lucky to have him because, to be fair, I think he's in Melbourne for a couple of days and I'm like, do you want to come to Adelaide for a day instead of seeing your family or girlfriend? He's like, all right. Yeah, so that's going to be fun.

Then following it up, we've got, I mean, complete polar opposites, Sydney, November 22. First show sold out. Seven o'clock sold out. Seven o'clock sold out. Added another show at five o'clock. So that's going to be completely different guests. So if you want to go to both, you can go to both.

If you're from Canberra, maybe. A lot of people from Canberra wanted to come and see a show. Now you've got a five o'clock show. You can say five o'clock, get out at six o'clock, drive three hours home. Easy. What a great night. I realise we've done that thing that anyway who cares i'll tell you some other time uh we've then got uh melbourne december the fifth doing a big live end of year christmas show our melbourne shows are always heaps of fun you i mean melbourne you don't need poking you're on it you know what you're doing yeah uh that's all of that little

uh tickets and stuff little dumdumbDumbClub.com That's also where you can get the t-shirts and you I'm aware of the Little Dumb Dumb Club t-shirt of which I saw a guy walking down my street today. I saw that. I like it a lot. Put it on Twitter and put it on Facebook but he didn't see me. I just took a photo.

I literally saw him and then I ran down the street. I literally ran down the street on the other side of the street so I could get a proper weird photo of him from the other side of the street. It'd be great if he'd stayed over at his girlfriend's house or something. He doesn't listen. It's just her shirt. Oh, yeah.

So he's just a weird man taking a photo of him. And he doesn't even know who you are. Yeah. Great. Just nice paparazzi in Glenferry Road, Hawthorne. We've also got, speaking of Glenferry Road, Hawthorne, you go to the supermarket down there, you know what you can buy? Some Yalla chocolate mousse.

Yes, the best, the finest of them all. If you've been listening lately, you'll know Yalla have been sponsoring the show. They make very fine chocolate mousse. We're going to take a trip soon out to the distributor. Tomorrow, let's go tomorrow. All right. All right. And keep all the messages coming in.

You know what? Man, so many of you guys have sent pictures of you buying the moose and enjoying the moose and whatever. Keep it up, man, because you know what? We're going to package it all together and send it out to the elders to show them how effective the advertising is and then they're going to give us like a million dollars. Probably just an extra 50, I'd say, if they're smart about negotiating.

Boy, anyone who's just tuning into this for the first time as a fan of Aunty Donna is hating this so far. This ad has gone for nearly four minutes. Smart about negotiating. All right. Boy, anyone who's just tuning into this for the first time as a fan of Aunty Donna is hating this so far. This ad has gone for nearly four minutes. All right, let's bring on the- If it's your first time, very quickly, we've got a whole back catalogue of episodes. LittleDumbDumbClub.com. Get on iTunes, rate us for viewers.

Here you go. Enjoy this episode with Aunty Donna. We'll see you, mate. Oh. Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the little dum-dum club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo and sitting opposite me, the other half of the show, Carl Chandler.

G'day, dickhead. Hey, I saw something in the street the other day that I don't think I've ever witnessed. I think you've seen this before. The tram driver using the outside loudspeaker that they have access to. I think you've been abused by tram drivers who are friends of this show. Is that correct? I don't know about abused. Maybe greeted. I'm not sure. I've never witnessed it before and I witnessed not only it being used but I'm going to say misused. So I was at the front of a gallery waiting for an exhibition to start i

was waiting for a friend on smith street and i missed the start of this but a car i think he'd come along and he'd cut off a tram right so the tram driver's angry at this car in front of him he gets on the loudspeaker and just starts going yeah good stuff mate really loving this great work that you've done there keep it up up. Oh, just splendid driving. Now, I'm going to have to call back to when you said the tram driver has misused this. I think he has perfectly used it. Well, this is the thing. He's going on at someone who's

kind of fucked him over in some way. Which, they can't be allowed to do that, to just get on the horn every time they're getting annoyed by a pedestrian. Because people mess around with trams a lot and if they were allowed to do it, all you'd ever hear when you walk down the street

was just tram drivers teeing off. Man, it should be because, you know, that's the ridiculous thing when people do the wrong thing in cars next to trams and you see the tram driver just go nuts and then he goes, how am I going to take it out on them? Ding, ding.

It just looks absolutely ridiculous. There should just be one week a year where they're allowed to use the loudspeaker for whatever they want. They can just be as crass as they want. Anyway, so the car's cut him off. The tram driver has his spray over the loudspeaker. The driver of the car, he then sticks his arm out his window and gives it a bit of the finger, just gives the bird just behind him

to the tram. Tram driver then follows up by going oh yeah great giving me the finger great stuff i'm loving this mate did you finish year nine or did you make it all the way up to year 10 good on you mate meanwhile because so i was at the front of this gallery that was having an exhibition a friend of the show callum preston was doing an exhibition of back to the future uh related art he's a friend of the show? He's a friend of ours. He's a personal friend of ours. He's written about this show.

He's taken photos of this show. Okay. Now I remember who he is. Sure. So he built a DeLorean for this exhibition that was parked out the front of this gallery. So there is a huge crowd of people in the street watching this go on.

It's also peak hour. So the car isn't moving. The car and the tram aren't moving this is just a stationary roast that now has the attention of everyone in the street and we're all just pointing at this car and laughing it was man it filled me with so much joy it was great yeah so i reckon yeah i want to see more of it i want to see more i want to see more tram drivers just tram drivers just taking the law into their own hands. Wouldn't that be bad for Callum, though? He's built a DeLorean and the heat's been taken off it by someone swearing on a tram. Yeah.

Good one, mate. Someone receiving the finger is getting more attention than this DeLorean that he's poured his heart into. Some bloke teeing off on his tram trying to get the tram up to fucking 88 miles an hour. Is that the reference? Back to the Future. Yeah. I like it a lot. You like that?

Well, today on the program, we're going back to the... Ah, fuck it. Today on the program, what would you say this is, Carl? Would you say this is three guests or would you say it's one guest? No, I'm only giving him one guest. It's three men who, you know what? You see any one of these guys in the street by themselves, you're like, you know what? Who cares? Yeah. But together, you see them walking down the street together, you know what, you see any one of these guys in the street by themselves, you're like, you know what, who cares?

Yeah. But together, you see them walking down the street together, you're like... They're like the Voltron of comedy. Yeah. Please welcome into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for the first, and after that introduction, probably last time, Aunty Donna. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. One, two, three.

One, two, three. One, two, three boys equals one, two, three. We love comedy and we talk at the same time just like this. Hello. We're so in sync. Oh, it's like the Supremes. Now that everyone at home's turned off, what's going on? Right.

You know what, let's do a little bit of a one-by-one introduction just so people can acclimatise. Because, you know, you guys do... When you do gigs, people visually, they can see that there's three of you. Yeah. So what you're looking at at the moment is three men, all between the heights of five foot six and six foot two, roughly. Five foot six.

Three striking men. Striking men. One's called Zach. That's me. I'm called Zach. That's me. I'm called Zach. I've got long black hair and a little goatee. He looks like

some reference points for you could be the lead singer of The Counting Crows. One reference point. Steve Buscemi. In Airheads. In Airheads is another reference but a bit fatter than that

is another reference. Man, that's great that you're so comfortable in your skin that you can say hey, if you're wondering what I look like it's a bit like Steve Buscemi.

It's from Airheads. You shouldn't be volunteering that unless you're comfortable with yourself. Our fans volunteer it to me all the time. Yes, they do. The other one is Mark Bonanno. He's four foot eight and is wearing a cool beanie today. What are your reference points?

My reference points is apparently I look like a Nazi propaganda of Jewish people. So cartoons of Jewish people that the Nazis drew to make people afraid of them. Is that an easy reference point?

Not an easy one, but one I get quite often. That's people that we block on Facebook. I know. What else? I get? Oh, you need another one after that. Oh, there's so many. I get that I sound like Charlie Day. Oh, yeah.

Which I didn't really need to make that because you can hear me, so you can make up your own fucking mind about that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Wow. I'm sorry. It's become worse than Nazi propaganda. I'm sorry. You have to put a little Triple J language warning on that one. Yeah. I'm sorry. Wow. I'm sorry. It's become worse than Nazi propaganda. I'm sorry.

You have to put a little triple J language warning on that one. Yeah. I'm sorry. We have young, very, very young children, sometimes babies listening. That's not true. That's not true. People drive the kids to school.

They've got the kids listening to this. You know what I mean? Next you're going to be denying the existence of Santa Claus. We're going to get in all sorts of trouble from parents that listen to this. Almost a Santa Claus denier, like a Holocaust denier. And that's the puns you get from me, the third member. Reference point, please. Reference point.

Jared Roughhead, the centre-half forward for the Hawthorne Football Club, had cancer on his lip this year. Yeah, right. And what are the... Like a 50-year-younger Louis C.K. And you look like the cancer that was on his lip. Is that what you what are the Louis CK and you look like the cancer that was on his lip is that what you're saying

yeah I'm a malignant tumour on this podcast that's us that's what you're looking at that's auntie D that's what you're looking at sitting on a cream couch

with you and there's an iPhone and a fan not one of our fans that would be weird if we just let your fans come in and just observe this podcast as we're doing it yeah that would be weird if we just let your fans come in And just observe this podcast as we're doing it

That would be good though, we could make some money from it So three young men Who combined together to form the sketch group Aunty Donna That's all I got That's correct though That is correct So Aunty Donna

You guys are great but Aunty Donna the name How much has that been a pain in the ass? I'm sure early on that's a great idea. Now, how are you feeling about it? Hey, and there's no way that we can possibly relate to something like that. An idea for a name that sounds funny at the time and then you're dragging it around for five years. What's that like?

Yeah, exactly. I mean, example, Tommy Daslow. Awful name. It must be hell. Well, it's better now that people sort of like now that we put photos in the program, because people used to think we were a middle-aged woman doing cabaret. Exactly. We had people coming to our show.

I know who you are and I still think that. I can't help but think that. That it's going to be a middle-aged woman. Yeah, and that's what we do now. We're transitioning into that. Yeah, and that's what we do now. Were you getting early on, were you getting a lot of Dame Edna fans? We were. People expecting. We had someone flyering for us in our first year

and she gave a flyer to a person and they said, I'm already going to this, I would like to encourage women in comedy. Yes! And needless to say, we've had a lot of walk-ins Encouraging women in comedy We had a seven minute sketch about cum in that show The best was in Edinburgh this year We did a show in the middle of the day

To a bunch of very, very old people What was the name of the show? Do you guys remember? It was Best of the Fest Best of the Fest, right, to a bunch of very, very old people. What was the name of the show? Did you guys remember? It was Best of the Fest. Best of the Fest. It was a variety show. Wow, pretty hard name to remember. I can see how it slipped out of the old train box there.

Yeah. I don't know. It just leaves my mind. But it was hosted by some lovely chap. Like a personality. A personality guy over there. He's got a career. A presenter, right.

A presenter. And the median age was about 254 for the audience. And so we did the show that night and we started with a low amount of pre-sales and then we kind of sold out by about... Oh no, that was the other show. Yeah, I know what you're talking about.

Cheers. Thanks, man. That's really great. I'm glad that you corrected me on that fact You know what this story needs? A roadblock That's right, yeah Anyway, so we did the show that night Half of the back, like the whole back section was just filled with There was like two, three rows of just about 70 year old people

Before we started And we were like, okay And then there's a part in the show about a quarter of the way through where we walk out into the audience and we're all gone. Great. Fantastic stuff. Massive amount of walk out. So that was this year in Edinburgh? Yeah. That was this successful year.

How long have you got to be gone? How big have you got to get before you stop drawing in that old woman market and you can finally relax? You know what I mean? Fuck I don't know. If you were going to change names at this point you know what I mean? Fuck, I don't know. If you were going to change names at this point, you know what I mean? Now that you've seen the other side

and you've seen how it all works, what do you reckon you'd go for? Goofs are plenty. Oh. Yeah, because that's funny now and forever. It's timeless.

A pack of goofs. Do you reckon you'd possibly have Disney fans come in and they're thinking, oh, finally get to see Goofy. This is going to be good. Yeah,

that would be a problem. That would be a problem. Maybe like, laughter sandwich. That's pretty good. So it's like, you can do the description. You can be like, take one slice of parody and then two bits of pathos. White bread. Yeah.

Yeah, cool. I love it when my parody and my pathos are served side by side. Too often they're just two separate places you've got to go. It's one or the other. Finally, these guys, laughter sandwich, they're bringing it together. you've got to go. It's one or the other. Finally, these guys laughed a sandwich. They're bringing it together. Yeah, that's right. That's what we could be.

I feel like pathos is like tomato, though. You've got to put in fresh. You can't just whack it in the start of the day and wrap it in a laugh. I hate that pathos in a can that some places buy that they put in. They think you're not going to know. You know. I mean, you notice. You guys got together in Ballarat.

So you were all from Ballarat, Ballarat Uni? Yeah. At one point or another We were all called From a car A faggot As people drove past So that's

That's sort of the box you tick Living in Ballarat for three years Now that I mean now that's a name for a sketch group It's what It's what brought you all together That's right We were called a faggot

Out of a moving car That's the name of the group. The sketch group. It doesn't fit on a Twitter handle though. Did you get told to cut your hair though?

Because that's Broden never got told to cut his hair. Never. Never. No. Broden has short hair for anyone listening.

Receding. Receding. I didn't have to. I didn't want to. Again, just a thing that you guys have that I cannot relate to in any way.

This is the recede couch. Because I used to live in Ballarat. I went to Ballarat Uni. Did you really? You went to the same campus, I believe. Did you go to Mount Helen? No, we didn't go to the same campus. I was at Mount Helen for a subject when I was first in Ballarat.

A bit of fine art? No, I was doing writing for a year. But I lived across the road from TAFE. I had 12 contact hours a week and I think I was lucky to make two a week that year. I was in a bad place. Sounds great. True story that Mount Helen, one in six people who live on the residential campus have chlamydia. Really?

The highest rate of chlamydia in Australia. That's fantastic. How did they find that out? And why did they release that? They did a test. They did a test with a really small sample just to see. Just six people? One of them had it?

No, every single person they did the test on had chlamydia. Apparently it came back with everyone had chlamydia. So they're like, all right, we need a bigger sample. Wow, because Mount Helen, for the few of you out there that don't know the University of Ballarat inside out, it's not actually in Ballarat, it's like 20 minutes out,

25 minutes out, and it's ridiculous because when I went there, I didn't drive, I didn't have a driver's license, so I'd be catching the bus every day, so it took so long to get out there and then the buses would stop at 6 o'clock so you'd be just there were legitimately nights i was stuck out there all night and just went all right everyone's got chlamydia there's nothing else to fucking do yeah yeah just rooting the car park you just gotta fuck and there's no time to like waste it i don't have protection you just gotta fuck you're fucking right there right then just

go fuck now do you have chlamydia it doesn't matter i'm not even gonna ask the question we're just fucking well you want to get the condoms. You want to get protection, but you can't get the bus to the chemist. So what are you meant to do? It's a lose-lose situation. I want chlamydia. I want to get a condom, but it's going to take too long. Let's just fuck.

What's the town planning decision in putting the city's university 20 minutes out of the city? I would take the word planning out of that question. Yeah, it was ridiculous. And the worst thing was like a year later, honestly a year later when I left,

they moved everything into the city. Yeah, and that's where we went to the city one. Yeah. Oh man. And the city one was like four blocks

from where I lived. It was right in the middle. It was amazing. You could just go get yourself some Thai food at lunchtime. And in front of the date you could walk out

of the building and get caught a faggot in the road. Easy, easy. You used to have to travel for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what was the building, get caught a faggot. Easy, easy. You used to have to travel for that. But what was the CBD like for chlamydia, though? Could you still...

I didn't get it much, Zach. There was a scare in, like, first year, but I didn't get it, no. In the Bridge Street Mall. But chlamydia, isn't chlamydia just like a two-pill, you just take two pills now and then it's gone? That's what I've heard. I've never had it, but that's what I've heard. Is that what a lover said to you?

That's what a lover said to me on many occasions. Don't worry, baby. Because gonorrhea is the one to worry about. That's when like pus and shit and thick shit comes out of your dick. Right. That's what I've heard. I suppose that's what that is. No, I honestly don't know the difference between all that stuff because you know clang i've

never had any of it but yeah that's that's an education filth comes out of your dick when you've got gonorrhea can i say we were being very rude before the podcast started and mark you looked the most offended out of anyone in the room to the point where we had to make the disclaimer don't worry we won't be this rude on the podcast. And now, my goodness. I'm just talking about STIs, guys. And also one point. This is science and education. At one point someone said something so rude,

your skin crawled up inside yourself. You're now sitting on top of the couch instead of in the couch. I like it though. That's how uncomfortable you were. Is this because, you know, you and I, we're both pretty short men. Is this you just taking an opportunity to just kind of see the world from another perspective? No, I'm just trying to get up.

I'm just trying to, you know, I want to be full of piss and vinegar. Which is another side effect of gonorrhea. Imagine some, like, 50-year-old dog right now. You're going to get shit come out of your dick because of the gonorrhea. So it's like, yeah,

I'd like to hear that. So you were there, what, for four years three years so you didn't know each other coming into uh going to ballarat uni no no no no no no it was uh it was zach and i were in the same year level and so we wore theater black and mark was in the year level below us and we just wore theater blacks and tracksuit pants every day and then um would walk around rooms and then you'd say how you felt and then you'd go home and cash your Centrelink and then you'd write a journal. And then after that you walk in and you're like,

I'm going to really be good. We're going to change the world. Take over the world. We're going to really change things. So you were in, what was your class called? We did a Bachelor of Arts in Acting. In Acting, right. Did you guys have to do all that?

Because I did uni for one year And I did drama as a subject as part of an arts degree Did you do that first Like in that first week where you have that class Where you're just walking around Pretending to be fucking barnyard animals That was three years Three full years

We actually went to the zoo and studied animals We did We don't just do barnyard animals for a class. We spend a semester on them. Because I went and saw that movie Holding the Man recently. It's an Australian film and there's a scene in that where he goes to, does he go to NIDA?

Yeah, NIDA, yeah. He goes to NIDA and they're doing that and it's this ridiculous scene where everyone's walking, there's like 20 of them all walking around the room going and like going, oh no, they're being cavemen, aren't they? Monkeys. They're being they being apes yeah really going over the top and if i hadn't had that experience of studying drama i would have watched that and that would have made me hate the film because i would have gone that's not happening there's no uni where that's happening but it made my skin crawl because i was gonna say yeah i was gonna say in this podcast that a good reference point

would be holding the man yeah i didn't want to show how many arthouse films I've watched recently. And why would you? Yeah, I think I did that for a week and went, I'm not going to this anymore, because it's probably just this for three years, and then later on I realised, that's just an intro, it's not going to be that for three years. But it's good to now hear that you guys literally did that for three years.

You didn't live in the house where, I used to go past this house that was opposite Hungry Jack's on the way out of Ballarat, and it was all performing artists that lived there. Oh, that giant one? Is it the really, really big mansion, or was it just a little house? Because there was a mansion across.

I love how specific this is getting. There was a mansion, right? We're talking about a specific house opposite a Hungry Jack's in Ballarat. A friend of mine used to live in it. There you go. It used to be a mental institute. This is the most narrow we've ever been.

Sorry. This mansion used to be a mental institute. This is the most narrow we've ever been. Sorry. This mansion used to be a mental institute and they crammed like 60 kids in there or something. Performing artists. Yeah, performing artists, art kids, right? Well, it looks like nothing changed. I got them. 60 kids living in an old mental institute.

He was in like, I don't know if it was 60 But he was in this room And it was him and someone else in one room And the only thing dividing it was like A carpeted piece of Fucking wood that had a couple Of legs and their beds were next to each other You can't get chlamydia in that No wonder

There is no way It was opposite Hungry Jacks and I used to go past And there was always people out the front juggling and fire twirling and stuff like that and I fucking hated it. That's Zach's favourite subject. I'm a very kind person. I always try to find the best in a person no matter how deeply, like in an argument we are, they can owe me money, I'll find the best.

If they're that juggling type of person, I hate them. I hate them with every fibre of my being. Fire twirling and happy pants. And what a leap to take. You're already a performing arts student so the perception about you from the outside is probably that you've got your head up your arse. So it's like how can I make people hate me even more? I know

I'll take up a bit of juggling and just do it out on the street. Same person as well who's at a party and goes this needs a performance and then they get out the accordion and do some nice tracks for everyone. The same person as well who's at a party goes, this needs a performance. And then they get out the accordion and do some nice tracks for everyone. Oh, man. Have you ever met that fucking asshole? Not with the accordion. I've met with the acoustic guitar.

Oh, the acoustic guitar. The accordion is another level of fucking asshole. This is Ballarat parties he's talking about. Oh, okay. Pull out the accordion. Yeah, oh, great. Weird Al Yankovic's here again. They hadn't invented the guitar at Sovereign Hill.

They've got the accordion. This is where we had all our parties at Sovereign Hill. Paying for gold. Just get a couple of... I used to work at Sovereign Hill. It is a fine institution. Did you work at Sovereign Hill? For people that aren't in close proximity to Ballarat.

By the way, anyone who lives in Ballarat who listens to this podcast, they are loving this episode They know exactly what's going on They're probably at the Hungry Jacks Not everyone knows about Sovereign Hill But what is Sovereign Hill really? It's like a mini tiny theme park No it is not a

For fuck's sake Carl What is it? For god damn reason It is an open air museum Okay It is a museum It is very historically accurate and you go there, it's a learning experience.

There's no fucking rides. Can I just say though, theme park is what... There is a bowling alley in there. There is a bowling alley. Can I just say though, theme park is how I remember it would be described by teachers and parents to trick you into going there. Of course, of course.

But then you get there and you discover the magic for yourself. It's a museum but you can get a photo with Batman from memory Is that right? And they recently just updated it to the Christopher Nolan Batman And the Tumblr rather than the previous George Clooney What do you mean?

It's got the lethal weapon as well Which is great At Sovereign Hill This is another thing It's not And then there's the Scooby Doo ride at Sovereign Hill. This is another thing. Yes, it is. Of course it is. It's not. The bowling alley and then there's the, what is it, the Scooby-Doo ride. The Scooby-Doo ride.

Hang on, guys. We're in one of your little skits now. That's right. We got you. We bloody got you. You've been punked. All right. Get out the juggling balls.

Come on, guys. All right, here we go. I love jugglers. That's the twist. Did I hear this on something or were we talking about it on this show? I'm very sorry to whoever I've ripped this off of if this wasn't on this show. Sovereign Hill should update. You know what I mean? It shouldn't still be that time period.

It's like The Simpsons. It should be like, you know what I mean? It should be travelling. It goes year for year. It should always be like however many years behind us us and like they should just be like up to the 90s by now yeah where did i hear that anyway that's great that's a great bit whoever wrote it's fantastic yeah we we used to go there and it's like you know you get brought there in year eight year nine or whatever and this is this is the mentality you go there and there'd be a bit

where you'd get set set in a tent and there'd be these volunteer guys that are just sitting there going oh this is how you darn things and this is how you whatever and there'd be these volunteer guys that are just sitting there going, oh, this is how you darn things and this is how you whatever. And they've got to stick to character. So they're in 18, 15 or whatever it is. And we're sitting there as year eight, year nine going, what sort of car do you drive, mate? What, what?

And they're like, what is it? A car? A car? A mispronouncing car. A car, you say? I'm like, yeah is it? A car? A car? A mispronouncing car. A car, you say? I'm like, yeah, mate, a car. What are you fucking burning around on, mate? He's like, oh, I drive a horse.

And we just sat there for like an hour trying to fuck him up. Until he goes, look. It got to the end. It was like, all right, what do you want me to say? All right, I'll say something. If you guys leave, I'll say whatever you want. You broke him. Yeah, yeah. You broke him.

He's like, we're not getting paid for this. You're sitting here. You're hanging shit on me for 45 minutes. Yeah. So what did you do there, Mark? I was an interpreter. So I would dress up in ye olde pantaloons. Teach people how to darn, put up with kids in your age.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What sort of car did you drive? I put up with assholes asking me what fucking sort of car I drove. But at the time, didn't have a car because I blew it up, which is fine. But, yeah, and so I teach people how to pan for gold. Oh, yeah. And I perform in the pantomimes, which was really fun. My nonner and nonnel got to see me perform because they're not really allowed to come to Aunty Donna.

I mean, they're dead now. But when they were alive. That's they're not really allowed to come to Aunty Donna I mean they're dead now but when they were alive that's not just being not allowed to come that's like yeah well my nonna comes now because I think

she like got to a point where she was like that's my grandmother for anyone who's not Italian and she got to a point where she was like

I'm probably gonna be dead soon right I gotta at least see I gotta see these cum jokes for myself. Yeah, yeah. Before I pass into the other realm. And the first show she saw was the one that Zach mentioned before with all the old women

walking out, which had a seven minute sketch about cum. And she just had a smile for it. She didn't know what the fuck was going on. She doesn't speak a lot of English. She still would have been less embarrassed than seeing you at Sovereign Hill. I think so. I like the idea that all those other old women, as they're on their way out, they're nudging her and going,

hey, we're making a break for it. We don't know you, but you're one of us. You can't be enjoying this. Let's get out while the getting's good. I think I've... What? No. I think I've told this before on the show, but my one Sovereign Hill story is we went there when I was a little kid and

I got one of those little wooden gun that has the cork on the string that you'd shoot out oh yeah and the the string snapped and the cork hit no i think i know i cut the string off because i was like let's you know let's party and i and i shot it and it hit my dad in the nuts and he took it away that was it was never in a sovereign hill going what is this technology without a dad in the nuts and he took it away I remember when I was a kid they had ads for it and it was like a bunch of kids doing show-and-tell and they're all just like I've got a toy horse and this one

girl rocks up and she's like I went to sovereign hill and she holds up a gold nugget the size of her head and me all my friends thought it was like a serious thing like you can go to Sovereign Hill. You can get rich beyond your wildest dreams. Yeah, they just haven't drained that creek. Yeah.

That like seven foot creek to get a big nugget like that. I remember that being part of it. Like, hey, go panning. Who knows what you're going to find? You could be the one that strikes it rich. To be fair, a couple of times people have found 20, 30, up to $40 nuggets of gold in that. Whoa. Really? I honestly thought you were going to say

they have found $20 notes in that creek. That's pretty cool. Isn't that fake creek with a concrete bottom? Absolutely. Absolutely, people have found those things. And they're not put there. We don't put them there. The staff don't plant the gold. You say we. Do you still work there. We don't put them there. The staff don't plant the gold.

You say we. Do you still work there? I feel attached to the place. I have a sort of kinship with it. Are you moonlighting? Yeah. Well, I think I've said this before. The first time I brought my girlfriend to Ballarat,

because I used to live there, so we went through there and we drove through Ballarat and it was like, you know, Ballarat's normal. It's like Melbourne, right? We drove through there. I got a pizza through Ballarat and it was like, you know, Ballarat's normal. It's like Melbourne, right? We drove through there. I got a pizza on the way and she was like, oh, this is really cool. And I was like, did you think Ballarat was Sovereign Hill? And she was like, sort of.

Ballarat's a place where I just, it's a little bit like Darwin where it's full of people who are escaping something that's happened in their life. There's a lot of people in Ballarat's a place where I just it's a little bit like Darwin where it's full of people who are escaping something that's happened in their life there's a lot of people escaping the 21st century or like just they're just people who've just lived there

because they're getting away from real trouble so there's a lot of people just on the edge of shit is it the Darwin of Ballarat yeah yeah that's right well no yeah

yeah Ballarat's I don't know what I'm saying that's what Darwin's supposed to be full of peoplearat's... I don't know what I'm saying. Because that's what Darwin's supposed to be full of. People that are just on the run. People that have made mistakes. That's what Sovereign Hill is.

Or like Ballarat is. Yeah, Ballarat. Ballarat is that to Melbourne. Oh, right. So like Ballarat is to Melbourne. I don't know. What were the nightclubs in Ballarat when you were there? 21 Arms.

21 Arms. Yeah, we just missed it. Opened by Vin Diesel. Yeah. I got kicked out of that nightclub Twice in one night Very nice Well done Pretty proud of that For what?

Just for I don't know Bringing your gold pan in I'd done Promoted Sovereign Hill to everyone He gets everyone around This was before my Sovereign Hill Tenure

Bringing your pan into the female dunnies Trying to get a bit of gold out of the toilet. That is so rude and inaccurate. The answer is I was on a lot of speed and I can't really remember what I was doing, but apparently it offended the bouncer so much he had to kick me out. And then I snuck back in and he kicked me out again.

Is that how you got back in? So you're in your normal clothes, you get kicked out, you go put on the old pantaloons and the whole get up. I'm just a weary prospector. Is there any moonshine in this establishment? Didn't I just kick you out?

No, that was my great, great, great, great, great grandson. Yeah, so 21 Arms, that's good because that was the place I went to. Oh, that's great. Yeah, that was still around. Look at you desperately just trying to close the generation gap. No, no, no. I'm still young.

We hung out at the same place. I'm so jealous you can't get in on this. Yeah, I really am. Exactly. I want to get kicked out of the 21 Arms. You're hanging out at the Sovereign Hill Elf and Wheelbarrow. We're in the cool places. Now, there wouldn't have been this place.

There was a place called the Chapel. No. Do you know what that was? It was a huge nightclub. I don't know whether they do this in any other cities. In Ballarat, it was just like, yeah, that's a thing. And you go, okay. But they just took over a huge church and turned it into a nightclub.

In my hometown where I grew up, they had a place called Angels, which was the same thing. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah. Is that Angels? It was next door to a place called Inferno. You paid for the one entry and you'd be at Angels, you'd be having a few drinks and then you'd go through to Inferno

and that's where the disc attack was. Oh, they're linked up. You can scoot between. Wow. It's like a hidden back doorway. Oh, it's like a video game. You get to go up a level. There were levels.

They used to have four in a row all attached. So Angels and Inferno. What were the two levels after that? No, there was like Saloon Bar, which was a saloon bar. There should be like... Well, that's what life is like. You're an angel, you're a devil, and then you're a cowboy. What's it called when you're in between?

There should be one of them. Purgatory. Yeah, purgatory. Just an empty white room with nothing going on. Nothing. And once you get in you have to solve a puzzle or something to get out. It's not just a straight door. Purgatory should be the footpath

out the front when you're waiting to get in. You're waiting for the bouncer to go, alright, you're off to Angels. I grew up in Werribee where there's only two nightclubs. One is Mint Lounge where you go if you want a good time and the other is Vault where you go to get stabbed. There's pretty much those only two options vault it's it's not to like generalize but like it like the outer suburbs the the nightclub names are always very threatening you know what i mean which i find like there's my friends grew up in sort of um uh oh man i can't even remember

the name of the suburb but anyway their local nightclub growing up was called The Whip. It just sounds full on. It's like country nightclubs is one brainstorming session towards a name. They didn't put much effort into it. Yeah. Well, with the chapel, like that was a nightclub for ages and then it wasn't one anymore because the great thing that happened at the time was, and I'm sure this was everywhere,

they'd have their great night of going, phone party, everyone, phone party. And then they'd just do the phone party and it'd just wreck the church. Like, you know. Wait, phone or foam? Foam. Foam. Yeah, foam.

You know, have you ever been to a foam party? I've never been to a foam party. I've heard of them. I've been to a foam party. Do they ever have foam parties anymore? They do, but they're pretty bad. Yeah, I think they're rare. I mean, when I was in Thailand two years ago,

they were having one at the hotel. I've never heard of anything but like a phone party wrecking an establishment. It would be like, what's happening at the 21 Arms this week? It's not open for three weeks. Why? There was a phone party. Oh, of course. It always seemed like one of those things that you'd look at the photos

and go, that looks amazing. But then if you went, it would be just hard to get around hard to breathe just a sticky imagine the wall coming into the turd a lot of guys groping like there'd be a lot of that it'd be very easy

to hide your vomit though yeah which is good easy to get kicked out and then get back in get back in and get kicked out again literally no

a friend of mine did do that there was a foam party he got like the bouncer grabbed him he got out of his like grasp and then like went underneath the foam

into another part of the nightclub and was like, yeah! Foam party! If you get bitten in there and you get rabies, no one's going to know because the foam coming out of your mouth, that's just going to blend in with the rest of the foam in there. There's a lot of different functions. What a handy function.

Angels shut down and became a La Porchetta, I find that. In the church. Yeah, it was La Porchetta at Angels. But wait, was Inferno still going and that's where they went to cook the pizza pies? Have you guys ever been to a silent disco? Yeah. Have you guys ever been to one?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those things are fucking weird. I used to work at a nightclub in Melbourne and I didn't know one was on and I was bartending and I just walked into this room... Just get right up on that microphone if you could. Oh, could I? Yeah, and I thought I walked into a room that I thought would be empty

and I opened it and then there were just a bunch of people just like jumping up and down and I just screamed. I was like, ah! It was very strange. It does look very cultish when you take your headphones off and you observe it. Oh, yes. It's bizarre from the outside.

I feel like the consistent thing through like Mint and Angels and Chapel is they're all run by a man who's 50 and there's suggestions that he fucked one of the waiters. Yeah. That's the one thing. They're always doing it. They're always very high on cocaine. He's an arsehole.

Did you hear about him? Did you hear about that function that my friend put on and they took all my money? He just took all of the money. Yeah, that's the consistency. What about traffic light parties? I remember that was a big thing when I started university, like the year that I was there.

I've never been to one. It just seemed, looking back on it now, it's like that's kind of a weird premise that I can't see being okay. Red is I'm getting a relationship stay away and then Amber's like maybe. What does that mean? Who's going in yellow? Maybe you've got a girlfriend but you're up for doing something tonight. I want to cheat.

I'll finger. I think yellow is fingering and hand stuff only. I think yellow. Green is full fuck. Yellow at the traffic light parties was the predecessor to it's complicated as a relationship status on Facebook. That's right. But I remember me and all my friends when we were going to one

there was one the first week of uni and just we're all single and we all want it real bad. But just going you can't just show up in green. That's so desperate to just be walking in just going yep just tell me right now everyone who

is in eyeshot just put your hand up and we'll fucking go like so we all turned up in yellow and it's like like what is this like well maybe oh maybe if the mood strikes me some sex might be alright so now when you see traffic lights and you see it go orange you're like playing

hard to get are ya alright I get out and I fuck the traffic light. Got a lot of tickets over the years. So, you guys are very popular because you guys are one of the rare bands of comedians, young comedians that have got YouTube success

without being completely fucking shithouse and idiotic. Why, thank you so much. Can I say very quickly, one of the last times I saw you, Broden, on this was we went and did a talk at, was it RMIT University? Oh, yeah, yeah. A mutual friend of ours asked us to come and give a talk to their screenwriting class about online video success

and how to transition that into other things. How to transition? There was M&M's, I remember that. Tom Ballard bought me a beer. Yeah, it was you and me and Tom Ballard. Now you were asked along

because of all the success with Aunty Donna. Me and Tom were asked along because of a pilot, a one episode thing that we've made of a web series that we got the money

to make it from a TV station. Which was fantastic. It was so strong. Thank you very much. Very strong. But we were not qualified to talk on this subject at all. You had a lot of things to say and all I did was just keep asking you to rag out on other YouTube people.

I remember saying things like unfortunately with YouTube videos if you make your thumbnail a girl it will get higher views statistically and then hearing the trigger oh like

and then I we don't and then I would immediately go who do you know who does that who's guilty of that that you want to name and shame coming from a bunch of blokes

that call themselves Aunty Donna it's a little bit rich sexy Aunty Donna hot old Aunty Donna, it's a little bit rich. Sexy Aunty Donna. Hot old Aunty Donna. That's another thing we found out when we got our name. We didn't mention it before, but we started to get a lot of Facebook likes really quickly,

but from a certain part of the world. Oh, yeah. And we still have issues with that to this day. Do we still? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mark deletes them. Oh, my God, yes. All right.

So Aunty apparently in Indian means like sexy older lady. This is the full-on thing. It doesn't even mean sexy. It just means older woman that you should respect. There you go, right? It sort of means that here as well. It's a bit more explicit in Indian. Trust me that it's a bit more broad in India, I hope.

Because like every day or every second day on our page, we get someone like a very attractive young Indian girl or young Indian man, obviously a fake account, just posting on our wall, which is like, slut takes ten big dicks and just fucking these horrific... We've got kids on our fucking website. Like, Jesus Christ. Just horrific stuff.

And we've been in conversations with Indian people who just, like, want to fuck us because they think that we're an auntie whose name is Donna. Sort of the Indian equivalent of MILF. Although I know Indian people. I still don't get why this is specific to the Indian dialect. It's just everything you're describing just sounds. Because I said to a guy, like, an Indian guy, I know a couple of them, I said, is this a thing?

Is there like an auntie fetish? And he's like, I've never heard of this in my life. That's so bizarre. But apparently there's a few million in that country that love it. You need to capitalise on this. You need to do big... Clearly you haven't been to our YouTube channel recently. The Auntie Donna tour of India.

Yeah, a certain playlist. It'd go off. Most of our subs. But yeah, no, that was a good day because of the free M&Ms at that lecture, going back to the lecture. It was good. Yeah, there was a lot of stuff people were talking about, multi-channel networks and whether they should do that stuff,

which is when someone in LA says, we'll help you, and then they take all your ad money off YouTube. Yeah. I just had to say to them, don't do that. But what else happened that day? There were, oh, very good banter. Yeah. It was, yeah, it was weird.

It was like part, it was like anything that you'd go and do at a university where it's like half of the people are really invested and they're like, oh, Auntie Donna, I know them. They're really successful I'm getting some I'm getting some good tidbits here and then the other half are like

I don't give a fuck about this I'm just doing this to use up a just a course credit to get out of here Was it like a screenwriting class? It was a screenwriting class So there was people going

I don't give a fuck about this I mean it felt that way and then three people and then three people sitting there saying none of us have money don't do it

yeah yeah yeah yeah well that's what that's what I was going to bring up with you guys like being a YouTube success and whatever. And, you know, you've got heaps of fans and heaps of people come to your shows and stuff. But what I always tend to notice with like, you know,

musical groups or, you know, double acts or, you know, groups like you guys, you've got a different... It's called sketch, Carl. Okay. I don't want to say that word. I don't like to say that word. Comedy plays. Comedy plays. Comedy plays.

Fire eaters. We prefer skits. Okay. We make little skits. Is that because sketch means something really rude in Indian? Yeah. You don't want to know what it means in Indian. In Indian.

In Indian. Anyway, you comedy play doers, as I call you. Thank you. You have quite rabid fans, because it seems like all those musical guys and sketch groups have these sort of different level fans. I'm trying not to say a word like weird, but more rabid and, you know...

Yeah, they're weird nerds. Yeah, we have a lot of fans that are weird nerds. Again, doing a podcast, we can't relate at all so please tell us all about it but we love them but they I am amazed

like just just today walking down the street twice people stopped me to talk to me and get a photo

oh nice just in Melbourne and it happens I mean how often does it happen to you guys daily and this was this was obviously just a nasty sympathiser that wanted photos.

That's right. He had these long curls and this tall hat. No. Which we've always found, well, I've always found anyway, like just incredible that people give that much of a shit about a couple of guys who were doing silly stuff on YouTube like enough to go oh my god it's you can I get a photo my friends are gonna be so jealous yeah like as cool as this is a you're a bit of a fucking

idiot please make that your new thing that you say to everyone who asks it's amazing and it's humbling but it totally freaks me out. This is a little snapshot. We get that to a degree doing a podcast. So you get our people. What we say is we don't call them fans. We call them people who are aware of the show because we don't really get people going, oh, you guys are so great. It's like they get the culture of this show and go, you're a fucking idiot.

I love the show. So I did a thing on the weekend. I was very, very lucky enough to do the Just for Laughs festival in Sydney. Yeah. Very prestigious thing in Sydney. And so I did that and I was with a lot of people who basically I reckon, I think I was the only person there that didn't have management and didn't have a proper credit.

I was there, you know, my credit is I have a pretend radio show. Hey, everyone. So then at the after party I'm hanging out with all the people that are like you know known from TV

and radio and proper credits and so they're all talking to the heads of Channel 10 and the heads of Just For Last and the heads of you know

all other comedy festivals and stuff that are there and it's really only industry and comedians so they're all doing that so I'm like I don't know anyone the guy I get stuck with

and you know he'll probably hear this there's a dum-dum blister that just comes up that's like eight foot tall and just starts following me around and i'm like i'm like i don't even know he's a listener by this point i'm just like this is what got to be what this is because he's being real fucking weird and so that's what's going to be the story here so i just keep moving and he keeps following me around and then i just stop and go all right man what's your story so what's your name and he's like oh my name's this i'm like oh yeah so you listen to the show do you he's like yeah i'm like yeah i know i know oh i wish he didn't because you just sound like you got your head up your ass oh you listen to the podcast do you what podcast

oh well i look like a real clown well then he was trying to bum me otherwise Because he followed me around to three different conversations So, anyway Yeah, that's happened to me a bunch of times Where someone's looking over and I'm like Oh, here we go Here we go I'm going to wave it and then they just look at me like Who the fuck

And there's someone behind me And it's like you've got food in your pocket I hate myself, I hate myself It's like that World War II newspaper that I'm in. Yes, I am. Ooga booga booga. So anyway, this guy. So that's fine.

You know, you're allowed to do that. That's fine. But the thing is with this guy, he was obviously steaming drunk, which I then found out later that was absolutely corroborated. He'd been drinking all day. So he's just sort of hanging around going. Can I ask, is this going to betray too much of his identity? How's he getting into the after party?

You know what I mean? You're a big TV star now. You're trying to hang out with all your mates, your industry mates. You don't want drunks coming in off the street and hassling you. You know what I mean? Exactly. Me and Tommy Tienan were just trying to get some alone time. Stephen K. Amos.

It was like, fuck, man. You and Roy Chubby Brown are trying to get some alone time. Stephen K. Amos. It was like, fuck, man. You and Roy Chubby Brown are trying to really shoot the shit. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Me and Dean Martin were hanging out. Anyway, this guy, he's just like so drunk and he's just like, oh, yeah. Remember that time when someone said this in episode 102? I'm like, I never listen. I don't know what happened last week.

I don't even remember the name of the other bike that's on the show with me, to I'd never listen I don't know what happened last week I don't know I don't even remember the name of the other bloke that's on the show with me to be fair so I don't know he's like oh yeah I just keep going I need to go to the toilet and then I'd go to the toilet and then reappear at a different point in the party and then he'd rock up again I'm like oh yeah cool wait how did you go into the toilet and then reappear

at a different part of the party well you'd go like so we were here and he's a looper hey he's a pooper but like you'd go, like, so we were here. And he's got a looper. Hey, it's a pooper. But, like, you'd go in there and then you'd sort of go around the back and then come here and then you'd sort of go in and find me again. I'm like, all right, cool. Anyway, so then I end up leaving the party early because I'm like, ah, this will do.

Like, I'm not talking to any of the industry chiefs or anything. All I'm doing is going, oh, yeah, so what's Ronnie Chang really like? Oh, yeah, cool. So, again, as a fan of the show, he's loving hearing this. Like, you're just going, I left the party to get away from you. Thanks for your support. Now fuck off and leave me alone. It's the first time I've acted like this on this podcast.

No, but like I said, he was so drunk, so I'm sure he doesn't ever remember or whatever. But this, so this is the cherry on the pie of his behaviour. So I left. I went, all right, I'm done with this. I left. Then in the morning, Tommy Little was there. And Tommy Little, I said, how did you go last night? He goes, oh, I didn't stay much longer after you left.

Did you see this guy that it was, and I was like, yes. And he goes, he was about, he was really tall. I was like, yes,

man, that guy, absolutely, yes. He was sort of being weird about me all night. And he goes, he's being weird. And I go,

yeah. He goes, right, because, well, it must have been when you left, he attached himself to me, and was just standing next to me,

and then just started spitting on the back of a sofa in this party. He's just like hocking up loogies and spitting them onto a sofa and he's going, what are you doing, man? He goes, oh, sorry. That was it. So that's our demo. Also, that's brutal for Tommy Little. It's like, why are you following me around?

Oh, because Carl Chandler left. I'm just working my way down the ladder. He was the next one up from fake radio show to actual radio show. So spitting on the sofa, what? I mean, we've got to get this. This guy's got to write in and let us know what this is about. I don't get it. I'd like to think that he wouldn't remember spitting on a sofa.

Like, why would you remember? If you're at a stage that he's spitting on a sofa, I'd like to think that they don't remember they're spitting on a sofa. Does Little mean, like, this is deliberate? Like, is he talking and there's a lot of spray coming out? Or he's deliberately walking over to a sofa? No, they're standing together. They're standing in front, at the back of a sofa,

and he's just going... And, like like just like Sydney's a different place you know it was in the opera house it was actually in the opera house it's a Sydney thing

it's Sydney Melbourne it's that battle they spit on couches we've got coffee it's an opera house thing it's not over until the weird guy Hock Saloogie

you know that old he said ah sorry that was his rationale yeah that's the answer to why are you doing that is sorry that's not right here's what I want

I want to hear this guy's version of events of the night call us now get in touch to me direct get in touch direct to me on Facebook or I want him to get... Call us now. Get in touch to me direct. Get in touch direct to me on Facebook or Twitter or however you want to do it. What's the number? 1-300 what?

Dumb cunt. Get him to call us now. Yeah, 1-300 dumb cunt. Have you ever spat on a couch? Give us a call. What's the secret sound this week? I'd like to think... Call me sofa.

I'd like to think because I wasn't there anymore, it was like, what else is there to do but spit on a couch? Do you think that's what it was? He was like, what else is there to do but spit on the couch? Do you think that's what it was? He was just building up the energy all night to just spit on you. He's like, this guy annoys me so much on the podcast.

What's the best way of letting him know how I feel? That's right. That's what he said to me. He said, I've got a misspelt tattoo. And then he just rolled up his leg and he had a misspelt tattoo and then he just rolled up his leg and he had a misspelt tattoo. Like he had Barney Gumbel from The Simpsons and he'd like spelt Barney Gumbel wrong or something on his tattoo.

Oh, I thought you misspelt it was going to be, it was like it was meant to be Barney Gumbel but it's Principal Skinner. No, that's not. They fucked it up. That's not misspelling. It's visual misspelling. We can't go into what the rest of the story was about, but we were

at a thing recently where there was something of an altercation with some bad skinhead gentlemen. Do you remember this? There were so many altercations with skinheads. I don't know which one you're talking about. Some sort of racist drunken men

and one of our friends saw that one of them on his knuckles had tattooed DEAF D-E-A-F and he was like, why do you have DEAF tattooed on your knuckles? And he was like, because I want a death but it wouldn't fit. Just put it somewhere else.

Did he work that out at A? Yeah, just drop the A. It's spelt wrong but it still says death. You need like a TH on one finger. Yeah. Because death means something else. Death means someone who can't hear. Yeah, I'm aware.

That's like visual misspelling but with words. Yeah. I just think tattooists need to exercise a bit more Do you know what I mean? No, but they probably did They're like, this is what you want? He's like, yeah, alright I mean, like

I guess he's a pretty big scary looking dude So he says I want death Because it's, you know, shorter than death You're not going to argue with that No You know what I mean? No, you just do it Yeah If you just bring it up a little bit more off the fingers you could get that on the top of your hand there's plenty of room dead even you could write did you dead

yeah did you now i've brought this up maybe before with you what's your philosophy with and all of you guys with swearing in front of your mum and dads. Oh. Oh. I don't do it. I mean, obviously, they come to the show and I swear in the show. Yeah. I used to be a lot worse. Yeah. Oh, you started worse and you got better with your mum and dad?

Yeah. Like when you were a little kid, you were just like... Oh, when I was like 16, 17, yeah, we'd just tell each other to get fucked and... Right. You and your parents? Yeah. Yeah. Just tell... Yeah, it was brutal.

Right. I would love to see that in the street Just a dad going Get fucked son Yeah Well like Arguments at home Like you know That's how you end up in Sovereign Hill

But yeah no It used to be It used to be I want to go back to a time When my parents didn't tell me To get fucked It was me telling them To get fucked

More than them telling me To get fucked To be fair I was a bit of a more than them telling me to get fucked, to be fair. I was a bit of a shit and I just sort of, I listened to a lot of Slipknot when I was a kid and it just sort of changed my vocabulary. Oh yeah, their hit song, Swear at Your Parents. Yeah, pretty full on. And then as I got a little bit older, I was just like, oh wow, I'm a real cunt, I don't

know. I'm not going to do that anymore anymore your language was actually getting worse yeah yeah it was it was i was at a trendy cafe the other week with my parents and uh my dad went to the nice waiter uh can i get a you do thick shakes and they were no we did milkshakes and i oh you put then he was like oh and he looked at her for a really long time and then said will you chuck a bit more ice cream in it and i was like oh fucking hell dad and then a really long time and then said, will you chuck a bit more ice cream in it? And I was like, oh, fucking hell, Dad. And I didn't swear.

And then... But wouldn't that make it thicker? Yeah, so he's like, put some ice cream in. So she did that. Oh, he wanted a thick shake, not a thick shake. So he's putting it,

she goes up and does it and gets it. You can see her working her ass off. Meanwhile, my mum's like, tea and my flat white comes out and then they brings it out and it's like, you can't get the straw through the thick.

And then he's like, could use a bit more vanilla love. Come here. And I was like, for fuck's sake, Dad. And that point, that's the only time I really swerve my dad is a thick shake and getting the waiter back for a third or fourth time. Yeah, when he's incapable of penetrating it with the straw. And he has severe diabetes. Okay.

Well, that's the only way he's going to learn, a bit of tough love. That's right, yeah. He's going to learn one way or the other, isn't he? He might have an issue with deaf. He might lose his hearing if he keeps it up. And a leg. I, look, I, like, if I say any bad swear word in conversation with my dad he'll he'll disrupt

my sentence to tell me not and so I try not but it's just man it's I'm so I've got to try and I've you know what I might try and go a month without swearing because it's it's actually when I hang out with my dad like I know that that's happening and I it I actually find it hard to talk like because I'll get to a point in a sentence like, I don't know what, like if something was real bad, my instinct would just be to go, oh, that was fucked. And I just get to that point in a story, I go, I don't know how else to describe this.

I'm regressing. But do you know when like one of your dad's friends is there as well and he's swearing and you feel awkward for the situation? Yeah, right, right. No, I used to have it with when friends would come around and visit and their parents just didn't care. And so they'd drop a shit or a fuck and Dad's not going to – Dad had this barrier where he would feel weird.

To be fair, they were saying those words? Mm-hmm. Yeah. No, no, no. They'd do a shit and go, I just did a shit. And then they'd fuck someone and go, I just did a fuck. Okay. Well, at least they weren't swearing.

Yeah. But, like, I could feel Dad go, I want to tell off this kid, but it's kind of not really my place. Yeah, yeah, yeah just did a fuck. Okay, well, at least they weren't swearing. Yeah. But I could feel Dad go, I want to tell off this kid, but it's kind of not really my place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, yeah. That tension, yeah. Yeah.

It's like watching a pair of boobs come out in a movie. Oh, my God. Watching it with your parents. Oh, yeah, good stuff. Yeah, it's great, isn't it? Let's do it now. Let's put one on. Let's all get our parents around.

Let's get all of our parents around and watch a porn movie. Sorry, guys. That'd all get our parents around. Let's get all of our parents around and watch a porno. Sorry, guys. That'd be brilliant, that podcast. Just watching pornos. Watching pornos with Tommy and Changa. I guarantee there's a podcast where they just talk about pornos. Not even insider, like, you know, people that work in it.

It's just guys going, watch this one on the weekend. Anyway, why did you ask this about the language? This is a good porno. Oh, yeah, what happened in that one? What have you got? What have you gone around the horn? I'm bringing up because I am, you know, I never ever swore growing up and so I don't swear now.

What was, what? You don't swear now? Sorry, in front of my parents. Oh, right, yeah. I thought you were trying Really? You don't swear now. Sorry, in front of my parents. Oh, right. Oh, right. I thought you were trying to pass that off as – Oh, my, you really should listen to this podcast. Next question, what are swear words?

You listen to episode – the first minute of episode one, there's you going, g'day, dickhead, like, oh, my goodness, I had no idea. Sorry, Mum and Dad dad I've been playing this To you every week So I don't swear In front of my mum and dad I came up through That thing

Where it was hard to You just sort of It was an unspoken thing You never swear In front of them So you just go Okay well I'm never Ever going to swear

And you know My mum and dad Don't see me do stand up They've seen me do Five minutes of stand up Maybe Oh wow Really

Yeah yeah They never Like I did that Opera House gig and I'm like, I'll fly you up to the Opera House to see me. You haven't seen me in ten years. Wow. Fly. And they're like, nah, nah, nah. I think we've got, I think Dad wants to go

to the beach that week. Alright, cool. Well, I will never play the Opera House again. So, anyway, good. Hey, you know what? Don't count yourself out. Yeah, don't count yourself out. I'm sure you did great at the gig. You might be invited back. No, but I'll never invite them

while there's someone spitting on couches. Yeah, they're going to think that guy was your friend. So that's the only thing. Thank God you didn't bring him. I'm not bringing mum and dad up to that shit hole. Or as I'll describe to them,

crap hole. Yeah, very good. Oh, you're allowed crap? Yeah. See, dad, even if I do crap, he's got me. Great sentence. See, with Dad, even if I do crap. Oh, no, he's used to me doing crap at things.

Do you guys have a strong relationship with your dads? Do you feel like you can say I love you? No. My dad, I always tell my dad I love him. All the time. Every time I talk to him, I think he's said it back to me in my 27 years of life. I think three times. He said, I love you too.

And whenever he said it, he's fucking meant it. Like it's been a real like prominent moment. But it's like he's real reserved. What were the three moments all times where you've found giant nuggets at Sovereign Hill? He's been real proud of me. No, much too personal to us. Oh, really? Yeah, I'm close with my parents, but the I love you thing, that's – you know what?

I've just started giving my dad little hugs on my way out. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, that's nice. Yeah, the little pat on the back. You've got to break them down. That's what I've been trying to do for years is break him down. And he's always like, okay, because it always used to be like I'd leave their house, I'd give mum a big hug, and then I'd just stand there next to dad and go, all right.

And then I was like, you know what? This feels, you know what? You're old now. You're getting a hug. You're real old. You're getting a hug. Right, okay. What's it like with you, Broden?

How are you with your dad? Oh, no. We hug a lot and we speak a lot. I don't know if we say love. I think we do. Tell him now. Yeah, right. Call him up.

Come on, like, tell him now. Just send him a link to this podcast and go, Dad, the 57-minute mark, there's something pretty special for you. No, no, no, we're going to get him on the phone because, Broden, if you don't know, this is something that's really important that I think you, no. We're going to get him on the phone. He's actually doing it. This is something that's really important that I think you need to experience. He's on holidays in Cairns. So give him a call.

Give him a call. And just tell him. He's on the beach now. He's at a resort. He's thinking, how is life going to get any better than this? And then he gets a phone call. His name is Wayne. He's not going to answer You can just leave a message

Come on Wayne Are you going to leave a message? Yeah Hey Dad, it's Broden here or call 1-800- La, la, la, la, la. La, la, la, la, la. Hey, Dad, it's Broden here. I'm recording a podcast in Melbourne. I just wanted to let you know I love you. I'm fine.

Everything's okay. And I'll call me later. Bye. Love you, Wayne. Oh, wow. That was very nice stuff. That's beautiful. That was really nice stuff.

That's good that you qualified it with everything's okay because I remember my friend once went to Tasmania and had a lot of pills and then left messages with his mum and dad going, I love you so much, and they immediately rang back going, are you on a bridge trying to throw yourself off? What's going on?

Comedian Beck Hill, there's a bit in her show about it, about texts. She stops the show and says, I want you to get out your phone and text someone who you haven't, you know, spoken to in a long while, tell them you love them. And so this guy rang his mum or texted, dad's calling back. Oh, get him on. Get him on.

Get him in. Hello? Hi, mate. Hey, how are you? Hey, good. You're on a podcast in Melbourne. You're on a show called The Dumb Dumb Club. You're on a show called The Dumb Dumb Club. On the what?

You're on a podcast called The Dumb Dumb Club. Good question, though. The Dumb Dumb Club, what's that? It's like it's a podcast with comedians. Oh, yeah, yeah. Is that Mark Banana or Zachary Rime? Yes, it is. How are you, mate?

You're just a bunch of rabble. I think... I think... I think you... This is Cal Chandler. He writes for TV. I think your son, Broden, has something to tell you.

I can't hear. I just hear noise. Oh, okay. I'm just... I have to... Hello? I'm having a peroni on the Esplanade

at the Lullabah. Is it nice? Yeah, it's lovely. Oh, good. There's one way it could get even better. I wanted to let you know I love you, Dad. You're what? You're going to be a dad?

No. Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! No, I'm not expecting. I love you. No, there's nothing wrong. There's nothing wrong. There's literally nothing wrong, Dad. He's with child. And he's not pregnant.

I'm sweating. Everything's okay. Why are you calling me? I'm just... Never mind. I'll call you back in a bit. Okay. Righto.

Hooroo. Love you, Wayne. Piss off. Bye. Love you, Wayne. Bye. So, uh... He's pretty confused.

Does this mean anything when he just went, I'm lying down on the concrete now? I think he thinks that I'm having a baby and he's worried now. I think he was lying there and he was like, I'm going to be a grandfather. I like how we just think this is this joyous, funny thing that's happened on the podcast. What if this just turns into the royal baby prank

in some way? All of our lives just immediately go down the shitter. And there's just photos of you guys doing goofy faces on like today and next to Mary Moore with Carl. Oh, wow. We're never going to work again. Oh, whoops. I'm just sad that we ruined your dad's Peroni on the S4

No Malulaba Malulaba Malulaba So many shout outs in there So many So many brand Someone's doing alright for himself though

Yeah doing very well I think they should save up a couple of trips and go overseas Because they never go overseas Oh yes It's the first time a guest has ever had their dad on the podcast Yeah Well there we go we did it Yeah we made it Oh man Never go overseas. Oh, yes. It's the first time a guest has ever had their dad on the podcast. Yeah. Well, there we go.

We did it. Yeah, we made it. Oh, man. Can you swearing story top this? No. Unless you call your dad now and call him a cunt, I think maybe. Go on. Come on. Let's do it.

Let's do it. Go on. No way. No way. I'm having a kid, you cunt. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man.

By the way, we get these three silly boys in here, all of a sudden we're doing fucking prank calls on this show. Yeah, yeah. Let them off. Let them off. All right, all right. Hello, mum, is your fridge running? Cunt.

Oh, my. Did your dad say, when you said, I'm on the dumb-dumb club, did he say, I'm on the dumb-cunt club? I heard dumb-cum. I heard dumb-cum as well. The dumb-cum club. The dumb-cum club. The dumb-cum club.

He's been too influenced by your work. He's like, oh, Broden's involved. I bet there's cum in there in some way. Not more cum. I thought you'd put the cum aside for a couple of years. I couldn't even explain to my father what a podcast was. If I tried to explain that to him, his brain would just crush into itself. It's like 3AW, but it's recorded and you can't play it in your Toyota.

My mum and dad are the same as well. If I say, oh, the podcast is going well, they go, oh, yeah. Are you getting any graphic design work? My parents don't know how to get it, so I went through a phase where I would burn an episode onto a CD for them and go, there you go. Now you can see what it's, hear what it is on a car trip. And they just never listened. So, yeah, it's impossible.

I think the times they've come to live shows, they've walked out during the show. Yeah, well, because it's actually pretty on topic with what we're talking about. There was one where they came where Dave Anthony pointed at my mum, found her in the crowd and said, your son is a cunt. And everyone writes to us going, oh, wow, Tommy's mum didn't look impressed.

What is she meant to look like when that's happening to her in a public place? Do you want to wrap up your story or should we? All right. All right. Very quickly. All it is is I was just wondering about the swearing thing with your parents because I have never sworn to my mum.

But it's that thing, like you were saying, you get into that. I've been pretty good with the stop start thing where you go, all right, I'm talking with you. It's like the worst language of all time. Yeah. I can just treat this person like absolute shit. Yes. He doesn't mind.

All that stuff. He'll keep coming back yes yeah all that stuff so then but then you talk to your mom and dad and it's like completely changed all those words just come out and you sort of go well that's sort of magical in a way the way you can edit yourself uh that well on the weekend for the first time i slipped up oh and it was i'd come back from the opera house i'd come back from the old uh the couch spitting, as I call it. So I'd done it. And she sort of didn't really understand what the gig was and how important it was and whatever

and how prestigious or whatever it was. So I was like saying, yeah, yeah, it went well. And she's like, oh, that's good. I'm like, yeah, but it went well. And I was really relieved because it was such a big gig and there was a lot of pressure. You know what it's like. There's a lot of pressure on you to do well.

And, you know, I didn't want to be the one guy up there eating a big old dick. And how'd that go down? And then I just kept talking. And then I was like, and it took me five seconds to go, oh, oh, I just said that. So my conversation, and then I started thinking about what i'd said and what i could then say after that so my conversation really went so you're under a lot of pressure you don't want to be the one eating a big old dick and so then i answered i smashed and i did this and then i you know what i mean what did she say in response just sort of let me

go and then i I sort of slowed down and then I had to speed up again. You know, oh, you know what I mean. Anyway, I might be getting some graphic design work next week. Is it that thing where you think she's like tried to just sort of let you, you know, think that she didn't really pick it up? Yes. But she then hangs up and she's like turning to your dad and going,

I think Carl was just trying to tell us he's gay. I think he just sucked a dick on stage at the Mardi Gras. He went to Sydney, he went to the opera house and now he's eaten a dick. Well, I think that brings us to the end of the Little Dumb Dumb Club. Sorry, the Little Dumb Cum Club, I believe it's now called. According to Wayne Kelly. Aunty Donna, Mark, Zach and Broden, thank you very much for joining us. Thank you.

It was an absolute honour and pleasure. Thank you so much for finally doing it. A fine honour. Pick behind the curtain. This has taken us close to two months to line up. Absolutely. We did it. What have you got coming up that you'd like to plug?

The Fresh Blood. Oh, no, that's off. That's all done. That's done? Yeah, that's all done. You're doing a big gig in Melbourne. Yarraville. Yarraville? Yeah, that's all done. You're doing a big gig in Melbourne? Yarraville. Yarraville, yeah.

Yarraville Laughs. I think it's just yarravilleloughs.com.au. Yeah. Just look at Aunty Donna on Facebook or Twitter and you'll find out all the details. You're also coming up at my comedy gig, Catfish Comedy. Yeah. Which is all across the papers.

I recently interviewed in the Herald Sun, I saw. Very positive. Very good. With a big photo of me because I'm one of the guys that runs it and when it was a night when Celia Piccola

and Lemo and Hannah Gadsby were on, they're relegated to tiny little passport photos. Meanwhile, a big old photo of me. Yeah. Alright, mate.

Hey, I had to listen to you banging on about your little jaunt up to Sydney for 45 minutes. Fair enough. We've got all our live shows on sale. Melbourne, Sydney, Adelaide, believe it or not, is still on sale.

Yeah, believe it or not, we haven't pulled the pin on that one. It'll just be good to get over there. Let's say this. Anyone else in our position with that number of sales, they would have pulled the pin by now. They would have gone, fuck it. Yeah. We're just going to have a bit of alone time, aren't we?

It's just sort of like a bit of a romantic get together for us. Yeah. I mean, you're going away for the weekend. Good for you and me

to catch up without people, you know, walking around trying to spit on couches while we're talking to them. Yeah. Exactly.

Good luck. So that's, have we got the dates for that? So Adelaide is the next show that we're going to do. Yeah, Adelaide's November 17 and then Sydney,

November 22 and then Sydney November 22, and then Melbourne December 5. Get on it. Now, let's get specific. Adelaide, just so everyone knows, it's a three-hour show. It's our stand-up, each of us, live podcast. We've got Nick Cody, we've got Demi Lardin, we've got Xavier Michael Leeds as guests.

What a line-up, right? Oh, my God. Then when we go to Sydney, it's just announced we've sold out our first show. Yay! Sold out the 7 o'clock show. We're putting on an extra show at 5 o'clock, so you can come down. You can go to both if you want to. You can fly from Adelaide if you want to.

Oh, you're giving them your permission to come to two shows. We've got messages from people because some people... People think we're just going to do the same podcast twice. Yeah. Oh, what do you think Couchpit has got in his brain? You know? Oh, we should do that so

you can go to both and plus we're going to do stand up at like 8.15 8.30 or something like that we're going to do

an hour of stand up split bill half an hour each so if you're still hanging around after that so you've got the chance to see three hours of the dickheads

yeah beautiful do that then we've got the Melbourne Christmas show on December 5. So that'll be heaps of fun.

Your last Melbourne live podcast for the year. Yep. And t-shirts available at all of those. T-shirts. Get on the website.

We just reordered again. You guys have bought so many t-shirts, which is awesome. So we've just restocked all the sizes again.

So get into that. It's the cheapest t-shirt we've made as well. What an ad. Quality wise. It is working, yeah. So get into that. It's the cheapest T-shirt we've made as well. What an ad. Quality-wise. It is working, yeah. Yeah, money-wise.

They're only $25. Yeah, now that we've got our own sweatshop set up, we are really shaving the bucks off those overheads. Guys, that's all for the Little Dumb Dumb Club for this week. Thank you very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mate! I love you, Wayne.