The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 268 - Live! Brendan Cowell, Ray Badran & Dilruk Jayasinha

Episode Date: November 24, 2015

Advent Calendars, Indian Kebabs and In The Gold Coast. Recorded LIVE at The Roxbury Hotel in Sydney on Sunday November 22, 2015.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode of the Little Dumb Dumb Club is brought to you by Yellow Moose. Yellow chocolate moose, Tommy. What do you think about it? I love it, Carl. I've got a tub in the fridge that I think might have gone off. Oh, well, what better advertisement? We've been in Sydney recording this very episode that you're about to hear. People in the front row of the gig were honking on some Yellow Moose during the show. That's a true fact. That is true. Actually, you got that free moose.

We went and got some moose and I ate it all immediately. So you've actually kept some for some weird reason. Yeah. But equally weirdly, if not more weirdly, I think I ate eight tubs in eight days. That's definitely more weirdly than me getting food and saving it for future consumption. All right. We'll call it even. We've also got our live show coming up in Melbourne.

Big Christmas show started December. December the 6th at the European Beer Cafe. You're about to hear the first of two live episodes that we recorded in Sydney. And what better advertisement for coming to see us in Melbourne than this absolute barn burner that you're about to hear. What a

time we had. It is very good and yeah, like when you listen to the little bits and pieces where you think, what's going on there? That's the reason why you should come to a live show. So, look, the Melbourne Christmas show is going to have a nativity play. If you don't know what that is, it's a big recreation of the big biblical birth, like one of the high points of the Bible in my humble opinion. Very religiously offensive to some people, this gig that we're doing.

But, hey, you know what? Maybe we try and we cover all the major religions. Oh, yeah, sure. Let's get a Kwanzaa play in there. Let's get them all going on. Let's get it on. So it's selling very quickly. It's not that far off selling out.

So if you want to come, get on it immediately. Tickets at littledumbdumbclub.com for December 6th. Enjoy the episode from Sydney, mates. 6. Enjoy the episode from Sydney, mates. Hey, mates! Welcome into the Little Dum Dum Club, live from the Roxbury Hotel in Sydney, New South Wales, Australia. Wow. Keep it going. This is great. Wow. Keep it going. This is great.

Wow. Cool. It's so good to be here in Adelaide. You guys are so good. Are we dying? Why did you guys clap so much? We're not used to this in Melbourne. People fucking hate us.

Yeah. Oh, fantastic. Is this a gift that someone's left on the stage? Oh I've got a present Yeah someone's left Okay so the present is wrapped in Minions wrapping paper Which Go fuck yourself whoever the diabolical cunt that did this is Oh look someone else gave us presents too

Drinks Oh that's their drinks Alright cool What have we got? This is worth every cent isn't it? Wow Now this is content This better be good It is Fuck it's What have we got? This is worth every cent, isn't it? Wow. Now this is content. This better be good.

Fuck, it's... It's a Minions Advent Calendar. So it's got chocolate in it for Christmas. Okay. So I've unwrapped that. People in the room have seen that it's a Minions Advent Calendar. Everyone in here went crazy. Are you people in the room have seen that it's a Minions Advent Calendar but everyone in here went crazy are you people

at the right gig? like what do you think this is? you know what you know what Tommy because I was just saying to you then we were just talking

at the back we were saying you know I think we've done like four maybe four live podcasts in Sydney before and I reckon we're

on a strike rate of 25% like I was like I reckon we've had three shit crowds and I was like I on a strike rate of 25%. I was like, I reckon we've had three shit crowds and I was like I'm not putting up with it tonight. I'm like, I'm going to go out there and tell you fucking idiots that you better enjoy this.

Hands up if you've been to one of our Sydney shows before. Oh, a lot of you, so you're all part of the problem, basically, is what he's trying to say. They're the quiet ones. Everyone else has gone nuts. I believe your exact words were we were sitting up the back watching you guys come in and Carl turns to me and goes, that's it, when we get

up there, I'm putting these cunts on notice. That's how we talk about you, the customer, when you come into our workplace. Please, come again um awesome no um yeah and this is it this is the one time i reckon i get actually floored when we come into a gig like this when people actually treat us nicely i'm so not used to that like

the uh the the guy the manager of the pub is like can i get you a jug of beer for the stage? And we're like, we've never been asked that before. What do we say? Is this a trick? And we said, yes, please. And then he's not gone and done it. It feels like it was very obviously a joke that we're like, yeah. Because this is on the top of, like the other day we got a message. So the Melbourne Comedy Festival is coming up.

The registrations are due and everything. And so we've got to fill all that. We've got to find a venue for all of our shows. We do all the live shows down there that come out around March, April, every year. And so we haven't confirmed a venue yet. But our venue for last year that was called The Joint, they have hit us up going, please come back. Please come back. Because basically the last night of the Comedy Festival we did the drunk cast there.

I reckon they made ten large on the bar that night. Right? So they're going, oh, please, please come back. Because basically the last night of the comedy festival we did the drunk cast there. I reckon they made 10 large on the bar that night. So they're going, oh, please, please come back. I'm like, the last correspondence we had with you was when you made 10 grand on the bar, we went to walk out, they came up to us and we anticipated, thank you so much. And they go, you cunts stole our microphones. No, we didn't.

And they thought we stole money as well Oh did they? Yeah it was really full on Anyway we're going back so If we go back you know what you've got to do You've got to put those cunts on notice You've got to go in there and put those cunts on notice If I don't get some fucking advent calendars out of the joint

We are finding somewhere else Who's responsible for this by the way? You? Thanks man. You look like the least person I would have suspected. Did you get arrested buying this from the kids section in Kmart?

Like I can fucking talk. If I'd have been told that you were going to bring us a gift today I would have picked a cob of corn. What a picture this is painting in the listeners' minds. Like, they're imagining a guy in overalls, no shirt, just honking on a bit of straw. Yeah.

What should we... Should we open it or... Nah. It's not December yet, you idiot. That's when it starts. Oh, yeah. Okay. What would you like us to do with it?

Take the chocolates out at the gig and put them one by one up your sweet arseholes. When you bought this calendar, did you dream it was going to create such sweet content? He'll be playing this podcast with his children one day going, Daddy did this. This was what the internet created in 2015. That purely visual thing that you brought to an audio podcast, you ruined everyone's night, Dad. Please tell me I was adopted.

Again, thanks for coming. What else have we got? We've been in Sydney since I got here Thursday. You got here Friday. We've been hanging out. The Harbour City. You guys ever call it that? You ever wake up and look in the mirror and say to yourselves,

geez, what another great day here in the Harbour City. Is that a yes or a no? So you do do it? You do live your lives like that? All right, we get it. You do it. So, but, you know, here's the thing. For people at home,

you guys have been lovely by turning up. We've got... This is our big Sydney day, so we have, like... This is the 5 o'clock podcast, so this is the most coherent you're going to get us. Then there's the 7 o'clock podcast. Then we do a stand-up show at 8.15. So the podcasts have been very well sold.

Stand-up show, not so much. Sweet impression of Adelaide that you guys are doing for that one. A lot of leg room if you've got tickets to the 8pm show. 8.15 is when Adelaide daylight saving time kicks in, I believe. Gold class comedy, I believe we're calling that one. So because we're doing that, because we're doing two live podcasts, when I walked in, the manager said to me, oh, so you're doing a podcast where you're just making stuff up for 5 o'clock

and then you're making stuff up for 7 o'clock? Yep. No pressure, but that is a lot of content you've got to come up with. That was the first thing he said to us when we came in. And then 8pm we can just fucking phone it in. You know what I mean? But you know what? He didn't realise about the advent calendar, so...

Oh, I think the advent calendar's going to carry on into the second podcast. It's going to be a two-week thread. We have barely scraped the surface of the Advent calendar. We've talked about it this long. We haven't even opened it yet. I haven't even taken it out of the plastic. Yes.

Oh. Thank you. For people at home, we just got another Advent calendar. There's a jug that's now just sitting on the front of the stage that we're presumably meant to just go and drink out of like a couple of little dogs. Oh, yeah. Do you want to do it?

Let's do it. No, no, no. Other guests have got to drink out of that. Oh, yeah, we'll all do it together at the end. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Let's let Dil drink out of that and then we'll drink out of that. Oh yeah, we'll all do it together at the end. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. Let's let Dil drink out of that and then we'll drink out of it. No way.

What should we do? Should we jackass around up here a bit longer or should we get a guest on? What do you reckon? What's your little notepad telling you to do? Oh man, I've got to look at that. What's your little advent calendar of content telling you? Imagine if that fell into the wrong hands. That'd be like, hey, you're taking a photo of it.

Fuck off. Trying to start your own pirate podcast. This is like a Newt Rockne game plan from the NFL. Good reference, obviously. Hands up if you got any of that. Oh, one person. Cool. Can you explain it to me?

No Yeah let's Let's Let's bring on our first guest Yeah Ladies and gentlemen You know him from Stand Up At Bella Union You know him from

The Little Dum Dum Club You know him from Weight Watchers Please welcome Into the Little Dum Dum Club Dilruk Jai Singer! Yeah! Hello, gentlemen. Hey, I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure you fucked up the opening

because you didn't say the catchphrase. My name is... Oh. Yeah. So these people sitting here, they don't even know who the fuck we are at this point. Like, who are these guys? Oh, we didn't do the thing. Yeah.

Oh, okay. Just two comedians whose careers have plateaued. Got him! Got him! Boy, I feel like a real minion right now, you know what I'm saying? Hey, I'll take it? There's an incoming. Hello, Tim. My name is Tommy Daslow and sitting next to me,

the other half of the show, Carl Chandler. G'day, dickheads. Yay! Boy, that feels like as good a note as any to wrap it up. What do you say? It sort of feels like we've picked up at the club and then had sex and woke up and gone, and your name is?

Does it feel like that? I don't know, I've never done it. Picked up or not known someone's name? I think you know which one. Hey, if you became single, you know, given your history with your current partner... What does that mean? Let's just say you your history with your current partner. What does that mean?

Let's just say you broke up with your missus. Not missus, miss. Do you reckon you'd be able to... Hang on, there's no mention of that in here. How good do you rate your chances of getting back in the game? Like, do you reckon you've got game, Carl? That's a good question. I'll field this one. Well, honestly, Tommy Daslow has picked up several listeners of this show.

That's an open secret. Wait. Why am I in the crosshairs now? No, no, no. I didn't ask the question. You're just a little bit of background, right? Okay. Okay.

Dilruk Jaisingha, you have picked up listeners of the show. As if I'm not going to fucking pick up someone. Fair point Should we go into details? Should we go into a very interesting story I have up my sleeve about you? Should we go into that? Boy, this is a real hot mess you've gotten us into Oh, I'm sorry

Did you want to take me on? Arsehole Oh, I'm sorry. Did you want to take me on? Asshole. No, but that is a very interesting question and I have thought about it many times. You have thought about it many times. Fuck, I hope she's listening to this. I think about it all the time. I would, like, I love, like, your girlfriend is great.

I would love to see you single. I just would love to see it. What do you think you'd be seeing? I just, you just trying to pick up would delight me. But what are you picturing? Are you thinking that I'd be good or bad? I don't know. That's why I want to see it.

Right. I'm thinking you go full, like, it happens and you go full midlife crisis. Like you're all of a sudden wearing like heaps of gold chains and rings everywhere. I don't have a proper job. I start up a podcast. Oops. Do you reckon you'll be like Lawrence Mooney, dye your hair blonde? Oh.

You guys spoke about this on the podcast, didn't you? Yeah, I'd probably really struggle, move to Thailand. That'd be a different... Yeah, yeah. Of course. That's what you'd do. Because you don't go to Thailand enough already. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I have seen people over there in Gaon. That is the creepiest. I am one break up away from being a guy that opens up his own shanty bar on the beach and doesn't wear a shirt for the next 10 years. You get a rewards card at the, what's it called? Restaurant 69. Cafe 69. They're a frequent flyer there.

Dinner for two, yeah. Dinner for two. But what would you, do you think I'd have good, oh, you know what? I won't watch. Who wants to fuck him? No. That's what this is, that's what we're skirting around at

the moment yeah i want to back up plan uh oh maybe the next crowd i'm joking i'm joking if you want you should you should get someone from the stand-up show that's someone who is really into you if anyone's going to the stand-up show, that's just a bit weird. Hey, take it from us. We know what we're fucking talking about, alright? Give me some examples. Has anyone here had sex with either of these two? Milan Shrinchevich is at the back, so yes.

What is this? What happened to this show? Started with us talking about an advent calendar for 10 minutes And now we're just soliciting sex from the crowd I'm actually scared to intro the next guest Because I think he must have left I know this isn't kind of as anyone's surprise But I will have that advent calendar if you don't want it

I mean, for fuck's sake. It's December, your cheat month. You just rip the bottom out and empty the whole thing in your mouth. Well, actually, this is what I wanted to say to you, Tommy. So last night we did gigs at the Comedy Store in Sydney. Yes. Excellent venue.

We love that. The Harbour City. After... Content Town. We love that. The Harbour City. After. Content town. Population, these cunts. So I left you guys. You guys went off to get a late night meal at about 1, 2 o'clock in the morning. You two?

I am. Then I rang you this morning, Dil, and you were off having a meal with Tommy. Are you? Tommy. Don't eat with that. With that! Don't put yourself in that position where you're having to keep up with that. But he's really funny and successful.

I want to be just like him. There's literally not enough room in this town For both of you On the naan kebab though Yeah I got introduced to this By fellow comedian Mike Goldstein

And Saranja Armana It's like this On Oxford Street It's like a late night Indian place That's got kebabs But it's actually Garlic naans and shit. Oh, my God.

You guys are all across it. So fucking good. What's it called? Indian kebab. Indian kebab. Great. Great marketing. That's fantastic.

We literally were sitting at lunch today going, fuck, I can't believe we didn't write down the name of it. But, yeah, it's so good. So we had it. You took me there and I was like this is one of the best things i've ever eaten you then go home yes afterwards and this morning i realized i actually dreamt about getting a second kebab no word of a lie in the dream hang on hang on let's give it proper term wet dream Man, seriously, it was so vivid, right?

I actually remember asking the guy, because the naan comes infused with cheese. I was asking him, I'll pay extra if you can put more cheese in there. And the guy goes, I don't know, man. My dad makes them. I'll bring my dad out. And the dad starts yelling at me. He goes, no, you've got to have what we give you.

It was such a, like a clarity. And I dad starts yelling at me. He goes, no, you've got to have what we give you. It was such a... And I woke up and there was no naan. That's the saddest I've felt all week. So we were debating. It's like, we're just up here talking about a kebab that we ate last night. Who gives a shit? I love how you paid money to hear us talk about food. Yeah, just recounting the last meals we had.

The reason I bring it up is because I want someone in Melbourne to fucking start up an Indian kebab joint. Oh, please do. So if you're listening and you've been sitting on the fence and going, you know what, maybe I'll open up a restaurant. Do the fucking Indian kebab. It's the best. We want it.

It really is the best. The end. Hey, should we get our next guest up here? Let's do it. Yeah. Folks, first time in the Dum Dum Club. Very excited about this. You'll know him from Love My Way

and from Beneath Hill 60. Please welcome into the little Dum Dum Club, Brendan Cowell. Welcome aboard. First impressions? What the fuck is this? This is like you know those really weird phones that people get who can't afford iPhones?

Like a shit Galaxy one. I feel like, you know, a guy that wanks off that three times a day, like, I'm in that phone right now. This whole room is that phone. You know what I mean? No. Are they semen? They're in it as well.

They're in the phone. How well are you doing as an actor that the Samsung Galaxy is the povo phone? Aren't they more expensive? If Samsung were in the audience, I'd love a free one. Is that a good phone, is it? I don't know. Who's rocking a Galaxy here? Okay, obviously not. Yeah, who's rocking a Galaxy here? Okay, well obviously not.

How you going, everyone? Hi. This is actually, I don't think she's here, but my girlfriend was like, oh, she never ever comes to shows. I said, oh, Brennan Cowell's on the show today. She goes, I might come to the five o'clock one.

But after she heard you're opening Canada, she just fucked off. Well, if you want to be single again, I can sort something out. Everyone wins. It's fantastic. And you and I keep eating kebabs so everybody wins. This podcast scene is awesome.

This is it, man. This is the life. When you got here You So what you saw just then Before you came on That's your first experience With a podcast Full stop

Yeah I don't know What one is I've never done a blog Yep Thing I don't know where they are And I don't know where the blog is And I don't know where the podcast is

We're doing a 10 o'clock blog Come back Right So blogs are at 10 are they? Yeah Late night blog I don't know where the podcast is. We're doing a 10 o'clock blog. Come back the next time. Right. So blogs are at 10, are they? Yeah, late night blog. Late night blog. Yeah, right.

That sounds all right. Is your girlfriend coming? If you're coming, yes. Coming all over it. Now, speaking of being single. I'm getting another call. I've got to save this number as Tim. I'm writing my second novel, right? I know all of you read my first one.

And, oh, sorry, it wasn't on the internet in a little thing. Yeah, it wasn't in your sperm phone. Sorry. But I went on Tinder recently to research for 48 hours. And then I went, fuck, a couple of people here are quite hot. So I thought I'll have a crack, you know what I mean? And then two girls were like, we're going to report you for identity theft because you can't pretend to be a fucking actor on this thing because you're clearly not him.

I'm like, no, I'm heaps him. Yeah. You know, and let's go for a drink. I'm not going for a drink with a guy pretending to be somebody. And also, I have a boyfriend called Carl. You're trying to prove your identity showing photos of your cocks? See, it's the same.

Wow, so what? And that was it? Did you actually pick up? No, she cut me off the thing so I couldn't access her on the thing anymore. But how would you have been happier to pick up or were you happier to just go, oh, you think I'm too famous for Tinder? Yeah, which means you don't have to be very famous for Tinder. And then I went on the one Happn, which is the stalk one,

where you see it shows people that have walked past you today. What? Is this a real thing? Hang on, do a real keyword note. No, no. Wait, he said walked. Is there a waddled one?

Yeah, it's like dating apps, they misspell words. Like Grindr doesn't have the E and Happn doesn't have the E. They get rid of the E for some reason. Which makes it romantic or something, I don't know. They just whack it on the front of eHarmony for some reason. Yeah, that's true.

something, I don't know. They just whack it on the front of eHarmony for some reason. Yeah, that's true. That was really funny. What we say in the dating world is get rid of the E if you want to get the D. Anyway, it says, you know, you walked past each other at Burger Fuel. It's like, well, we must be in love there. Oh, wow.

Man, imagine the matches you'd have, Dilruba. Wait, what's Burger Field? Sounds fucking awesome. That's what you got out of this story. I blacked out after that. I don't think you're allowed to say that. Blacked out. All right, we were all having fun.

So you got cut off completely by this girl. Because Luke McGregor, comedian Luke McGregor, he's on Tinder. And he showed me his profile the other day. And it's a screenshot of him on a TV show. Isn't that weird? And he's like, yeah, people always think it's not me. It's like, yeah, because you basically use the most easily accessible image of yourself. Yeah, number one image on Google Images.

Yeah. Yeah. It's him on Have You Been Paying Attention. Oh, really? Yeah. What do you use? Huh? What do you use?

I use a wide mix of apps, Carl. No, well, what's your profile? What's the profile pic, though? Oh, what pic do I use? Does anyone go, you're not the real Tommy Dasolo? I do get a lot of listeners hit me up on those sites, just going, oh, hey, mate.

How's your friend Carl doing? It's like, oh, this is sexy stuff. I am ready to go. I told you, I bet they want to know how I'm going. Have you heard of, is anyone on, what's it called, Bumble? Do people know that app? It's a dating one where it's,

the girl has to make the first move. So you match and the girl has to send the first message. Of course no one is using it. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Girls don't have to make the first move on anything. Why would they bother? It's to prevent. It's only if the girl likes the guy then she can engage.

If you match, she has to send the first message. Because the guys just keep flooding girls' inboxes with photos of them and all kinds of weird shit. Yeah. That sounds like a really good solution to the problem. I worked out how you find out if a girl likes you, right? Because you know how it's pretty obvious when a guy likes a girl because he kind of stares at her like he's going to kill her?

Yeah. You know what I mean? I especially haven't had any action for a while. You're like, how are you going? Yeah, yeah. Well, that's what I used to use because I was single before all the, you know, all these applications or whatever. That's all I would do.

Yeah, to stare. Just stare a girl's face. Just wear them down with, you know. At the supermarket. Yeah. A girl likes you if she's kind of still there. Right, right. Ah, right.

You know what I mean? Like, time's passed, it's getting later and she's like, just present. Right, right. You know what I mean? That's it. If she hasn't fled you're in it should be right

yeah if you go round to her house and you look up this podcast and she's still subscribed you're fucking in my friend oh right she's hung around should we get our third guest out here

what do you reckon sure yeah Brendan Cowell everyone give it up you know stick around yeah

folks this guy was on our Sydney episode that we did last year. He was super funny, so we invited him back. Please welcome back into the little dum-dum club, Ray Badron! Yay! Hey, guys. Thanks for having me. Strong start.

Really good stuff. I didn't know I had to come with something prepared. Alright, um, Brendan was talking about ease. Guys, you don't need to... Hang on, you know what, first of all, before you get into your sweet ease story, what I like is that you rocked up

in shorts and I was like, man, you can't fucking wear shorts. I know it's a podcast but you're not wearing shorts on our stage. No, no, no, I got everything prepared and I'm like, oh, okay, that's good. Then just before we started, I went and got a beer. The bartender goes, fucking Ray Badgerin just took my pants off me. So you're wearing the bartender's pants at the moment. Yeah.

He's a mate of mine. I hope he's a mate of yours if you're wearing his pants. You're missing the fucking point here. He being subtracted from a name does not make it a dating agency. made of yours if you're wearing his pants. You're missing the fucking point here. E being subtracted from a name does not make it a dating agency. That is the point I wanted to make and that's why I'm here.

Hey, wearing the... Point in take, Brendan. Grilled the restaurant. Grill, apostrophe, D. Right? They take away the E from the restaurant. Now, are you telling me there's more than just burgers at this joint? Is that

what you're saying? Are there burgers on dating apps? I don't know where the fuck this is going, actually. I think the question is, are you on ecstasy right now? I don't know. I think that might be. And by the way, Nando's is plural, a porto singular.

Nando's. It's also not Westfields. It's just Westfield. Oh, yeah. You can't go the ATM machine because that would be the Automated Telemachine Machine. Oh, right, right. Hey, Ray, you're on stage right now.

I actually don't know what's going on right now. Actually, on this stage, you were on a gig here on Wednesday. It's heaps of fun. Yeah, it is. You graciously invited me to host that night. Yes. And one of your acts, very interesting fella. Do you care to share with the audience?

Are you talking about Dave Pollard? I am talking about Dave Pollard. Dave Pollard, for those of you that don't know, is a staple in the Sydney comedy scene. He must be over 100 years old. Right. That's not a joke. He's actually, I'd probably guess, to be about 102.

Right. And he just turns up to gigs and he asks to get on. Yes. And as a room runner, you are allowed to say no. Well, man, it can barely walk up the fucking stairs here, man. Like, I feel so fucking bad. It turns up... You have to carry him on stage. I literally had to help

him up on stage. Yeah, I know that. Pull up a chair for him and then sit him down and then when he was going way over time... Imagine being in a worse physical state than you. Yeah, who carried you onto the stage? Dave Pollard. No.

But the funniest thing, the saddest part is when he was going over time, you're on sound, so you start playing him off, but not just playing him off by increasing the music, you play the Oscars music when they're playing people off. And he goes, no, no, I've got more to say. And it was the saddest, saddest thing I've ever done. It was quite sad. And what's his material?

You know some of his material. I'm not doing his fucking material, man. I just want the audience to know what you put me through as host of your gig. Come on, this guy's got to be funnier than you so far. Oh. I'm not doing Daveave pollard's but it was like is this 100 year old man with really creepy material about oh you know my erotic uh what is it my oh one of his punchlines is about it

he doesn't come semen he comes blood right and uh that's his punchline. You've got to get the whole fucking story going, right? It is a killer bit. It is a great bit, right? You know? I just like Brendan's face right now. Are you trying to pick up a girl? You're doing that stamp thing. One minute I was about to have sex with your wife,

now he's coming blood. I'll put you up there, not wife. Brent, let me ask you some dating advice. If you've been dating a lady, how long would you say is reasonable to pop the question? Should I go to the toilet? What question? Like, what's your name?

Or... Which question? The old, you know, bring out the ring. Oh, I go early. Like, I just go a second day. What do you mean you go early? Like, you do it all the time? I don't go with the blood thing happening.

I think we're talking about a different ring here. I think we've got crossroads. And that explains all the blood. Jesus. Have you proposed at all? Have you done it? Great question. Very good question.

I'll field this one. How long have you been going out with Agatha or Melanie or Bridget? Bridget. Bryony. You're very close. Renee. What was it Renee? Christy. Who is it? I want this to be the rest of the show. Just you guessing names. And the show doesn't end until you get it right.

Now that's content baby. Is she real or is she in the internet? Is she? Yeah. Carl's like weird science. That's how he met her. Yeah, she's in that sperm telephone of mine. We've been together, it must be 12 months.

Oh, sorry, nine and a half years. I think it's a movie where the baby dies, isn't it? No, that's not enough weeks. When you speak of that movie, the highlight for me isn't a baby dying. It's someone getting a cucumber up their clacker or something, isn't it? Is it love? Are you feeling it? Do you think about her when she's at work and stuff? Or are you a bit like, you know, I should upgrade?

I think one person in the relationship's thinking that, for sure. Yeah, the person on a very well-paid job isn't looking at the one that does a little podcast and going, yeah, no, I've made it. You must be a firecracker in bed if she's still with you.

Hey, never heard a complaint. How about you? Because you're already asleep. The Samsung Galaxy of fucking. Carl Chandler. Thanks, love. Ren, you did that movie, I Love You Too, with Yvonne Strahovski.

And you kissed her. What's that like? Oh my God, she's stunning. I was more attracted to Tyrion Lannister at the time, I think. I was more involved in the romance. Because that was before Game of Thrones and even the film, was it Death at a Funeral? So this was his, yeah, right.

I think him working with me kind of trampolined him, you know what I mean, into that kind of level. The old cowl bump, they call it, right? I have worked with a lot of people who have gone on to be seriously famous and I'm on a podcast. Well, that happens to us on this podcast. We've had many regular guests who then have begun to usurp us in terms of like fame and profile.

So, hey, give me the shot in the arm that you need. Fuck, thanks, guys. done to usurp us in terms of like fame and profile so hey so this is the shot in the arm that you need fuck thanks guys oh no it was fine i mean sex scenes and stuff in movies are quite awkward because you kind of got like an you know you're doing your thing and they say go up to the boob then say the line then come out and and everything like this um you can relate this stuff and um and uh and then you don't, I get plenty of instruction. And you've kind of got an overweight boom swinger, you know, standing over the bed. What's that? Is that a euphemism?

Overweight boom swinger. Just helping him. No, that's just what it is. How's this actually? Well, a friend of the show, Peter Hellyer, he was the director. You got any dirt on him? Because he's a very lovely guy on this podcast.

He's the loveliest man on earth. Yeah, I saw him the other night at the Channel 10 Upfronts thing because I'm shooting the, you know. I first started acting when I was, no. Yeah, he was there with the project, which is a news show that's on at night time on the television. We're not retarded. You don't have to...

We know what the project is. I looked you up online. There's a strong kind of opinion that that's untrue. For your first time on a podcast, I reckon you've worked it out. It's kind of like affectionate negativity, isn't it? It's like we're all your little brothers. I think that's what it is. Yeah, we've never had brothers, so I'm kind of enjoying this.

We were talking you through kind of what this is before the gig and then you heard our We were talking you through kind of what this is before the gig and then you heard our spiel and you went, are you guys ever just like nice to each other on it at all? And we're like, no, not really. But I think that's the subtext is you all want to fuck each other. I think everyone's aware of that.

You know what I mean? And that's what plays. No, that's good content. But seriously, you got any You got any Hellier dirt Any Did he like crack it Ever while directing Oh fuck you

He didn't direct it He wrote it A woman called Dana Reid Directed who also I worked with on How's That But he co-starred with you

He did Yeah Yeah absolutely There's no dirt on him I think he's like Kind of the funny Hugh Jackman He's just kind of great

Wow that's the first time Pete Hellier's been compared to Hugh Jackman. Jesus Christ. There you go, Pete. You can have that one. You should see Pete with a pair of maracas. It's unbelievable. He's the fucking loveliest man on earth and so supportive.

And I've heard the rumours about Pete Hellyer as well. What's that, him and Waleed? Or what is it? What are the rumours? No, I just thought I'd make it. May I say I'm Chandler? Sorry? Yeah, may I sum that up?

What happened with Hellyer? Well, it's a comparison between him and Hugh Jackman. I was just trying to make a link there, a funny link. Oh, Jesus. Oh, right, right. Jokes always get better when you over-explain them after you've said them. We're all vibing on it now.

Yep. For the record, we're all professional comedians, right? So, hang on. I can't believe it's taken me this long to get back to it. What the fuck is the bartender wearing right now? And does that make... The bartender is wearing my shorts, but he had rainbow socks on. He didn't realise he had rainbow socks on.

And he had riding boots as well. So he found some old pair of red shoes. So he's wearing colourful shorts, rainbow socks and red shoes. Yeah, and he said to me, oh, fucking Badgerin's got my jeans and so now I'm in these shorts. How am I supposed to pick up dressed like this? I'm like, you're a bartender at five o'clock. Just do your fucking job.

See, I wore shorts because I thought, look, it's a podcast. It's not a visual medium. This thing will never fucking come up. But how wrong was I? Hey, I've got a question. Does that make you pants down funny? Sorry. I did kind of say it like a bad joke.

I didn't know how to answer it though. You had to murder a moment right there. Everything's going so well. No, for what it's worth, I liked it a lot. I'm a big fan of it. You'll think about it as you smash an Indian fucking kebab tonight. I'm so glad you said kebab at the end of that sentence. I honestly thought that's where you were heading.

I'm like, fucking hell. There is a Reclaim Australia march today. I thought, uh-oh, we've pulled Brendan away from a little activity. Is there really? Yes, it is. Are we really clashing with that? Yes. It's funny because the other night in Adelaide

we were clashing with the Pokemon musical and today we're clashing with something very similar. Yeah. I can't help but feel that both these shows would be sold out if that rally wasn't on. That's our sweet key demo. I have a feeling everyone's just at home downloading my movie on iTunes, Reuben Guthrie, that's now available.

It's the top ten downloads of the weekend on iTunes. Get on there and watch the black comedy about binge drinking. What number is it? What a wanker. What number is it? What a wanker. What number is it? It's in the top ten, I read. So what's in and around? What's your competition as we speak?

It's a good point, isn't it? I don't know. Maybe the Minions movie. Let's look up. Let's see what you're up against. In the meantime, so there's the star, Patrick. Patrick Bramwell, yeah. Hey, is this fair?

I don't know if it's racist of me, but I get the two of you confused quite a lot. Does that happen to anyone? Yeah, no, we're thinking of doing a Brothers movie because everyone keeps saying we're brothers. Yeah, there is something. It isn't just me. Yeah, cool, a couple of people nodding.

He's a fucking good-looking guy. I mean, let's admit it. What about do people think that he's impersonating you on Tinder? Oh, yeah. You know? That could be the plot for the movie, you know? He is being you on Tinder. You are being him.

Look, I think if they thought it was him on Tinder, I would have got a bit more action than I did. And that's why he's complaining about not getting enough action. That's right, exactly. I think when you make a movie based on your life, you kind of cast the more charismatic, better-looking version of yourself and he had to go to the gym and do all the hard work and I kind of sat behind the camera and took full credit for it.

So it worked out quite well. Brennan, there you go. What have we got? Mission Impossible 48. What have we got? Mission Impossible 48. What have you got? You're number seven. What have you got up there at number five? Minions.

The fucking Minions. Ant-Man. True Story. Jurassic World. Terminator Genisys. Inside Llewellyn Davis. Where's that in there? That was that.

Oh, The Hunger Games that Yeah Oh The Hunger Games Inside Out I thought The Hunger Games was a documentary about models Trainwreck and Inside Out Are you in any of those films?

Yeah He's in Minions I reckon we gotta So what You're two places behind Minions. We've got to, by the end of the week,

we've got to get Ruben Guffey to beat out the Minions. What's your sale pitch? Like, why is your movie better than Minions? Well, it's got people in it. All right, I'm sold. I've never seen Minions, but my eight-year-old nephew likes to dress as one in a big yellow suit.

So what is it? There was a movie called Despicable Me, is that right? Yeah, there were little characters in that. And it's like they've splintered off into Minions. What's happened? I hate them. I really don't like them, right? I've talked about this a bit on Twitter and stuff.

This man over here, Dilruk J. Singer, went to see the Minions movie and then called me up to give me a full rundown of how much he loved it in spite of knowing that I fucking hate them and they drive me crazy. It's silly fun. Who gives a shit? It's fun. I watched Ruben Guthrie on the plane and it's very enjoyable. I would say if you're a fan of Minions, avoid. But...

Hang on, but you're a fan. You're a fan of Minions. I'm weird though. But if not, it was really great. It was quite confronting. Thanks for buying a ticket at the movies. Fucking watch it for free on a shit screen on the flight to Adelaide. To be fair, you probably made some extra money because he took up

two seats on the plane. He got him! Abiruto! Ruben got him. Does that mean you watched it twice? No, but yeah. By the way, I like if your movie's being shown on a plane, you get a cut of the ticket sales from that flight.

What a great system that would be. I'm actually walking down the aisles. Firing. It is funny coming back from the toilets in a flight after I've just had relations with the flight attendant or whatever, like, you know, Ray Fiend style, you know. Is that another app? Yeah. The Fiends.

Yeah, that's right. That's plain apostrophe R. Plain R. That's plain down funny. Quant arse. Verge. Yeah. Yeah.

No, and you see, like, everyone watching mostly the Hunger Games or Minions and then the odd person watching Reuben Guthrie and you kind of turn around like that. They're like, who the fuck is that guy? It's pretty nice, you know. It's a nice feeling. Yeah, yeah. We've got to do it. We've got to get it to overtake the Minions. Let's get together, dumb little show.

What's it called? Dumb Dumb. Let's go, dumb little people show. We're changing it now. Spread the word. The dumb little people show. Let's get this trending on the blog. Let's blog this up to the trend Facebook hotmail.

Is hotmail still going? Oh, man. Finally, someone sounds older than me on the podcast. Mate, I love a bit of time. Man, you can play Rad Daddy in the movie. That's going to be good. There's a new T-shirt. Dumb Little People Show.

So we eventually got our jug of beer, so we were all having a beer at five o'clock. You started to tell me a story just before we started, Ray Badger, about a drinking episode. Yeah, I don't mind. I was telling you the story. Oh, there's a fee. Are you a parking meter?

It's going to cost us. You know, you mentioned the jug, and I noticed I was fucking empty. You can get a milk in a cow. That came from the bartender. You've got his pants. You might as well have his beer. In fact, I'm pretty sure by wearing these pants, I run this pub now. So free drinks all round, guys.

No worries. Just say Chris at the bar and he'll sort you out. Yeah, the bloke with his dick hanging out.

In rainbow socks. The guy with the rainbow socks and red shoes. He'll sort you out.

I was telling you about a story about when I fell asleep in a sauna, when I slept in a sauna for the night, right? I slept in a fucking sauna, right? You were drinking. It's pretty hot.

Oh, you weren't drinking? I was drinking, yeah. Oh, okay, right, right. My genius plan was I was on this trip with a few people and we had activities in the morning and I'd been missing them each day, right? Activities? Like what? I don't want to get into the whole fucking story, all right? It's too long. It's too long.

What are activities? Like hopscotch and like... Fucking zinc painting. It was... I was in a lawn bowls team, right? And I was... Why would you skip over that detail? Because it's such...

Okay, I was playing in the lawn... I got accepted into my mate's sports team. It was a lawn bowl team, right? Is that the only way they let you hang out with them? I got accepted. They were playing in the Gold Coast and it was a lawn... How old are your mates? They're like in their 20s.

Mate, I told you I didn't want to go into this fucking part of the story. All right? I'm playing lawn bowls in the Gold Coast, right? On the Gold Coast. In the Gold Coast. You don't go in the Gold Coast. You go on the Gold Coast. Yeah.

You're not actually in a coast rolling a fucking lawn bowl. Wait, no. You can be in Glebe. No. You can't be on Glebe. What do you mean? If you're in a coast, that means you're in the ocean trying to jack high. It doesn't make any sense.

No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. So get accepted into that team. I'm on the Gold Coast. I, myself, am on the Gold Coast. I don't know what you're on right now, but you're on something. Why doesn't that make sense, Brendan? On the Gold Coast, off your fucking head.

All right. There's no E in the Gold Coast because you took it. So clearly... You can't say glean because... Okay, yeah, you're right. Maybe you're fucking right, actually. You're right, all right. Okay, so you're playing lawn bowls in the Special Olympics.

No. On the Special Olympics, mate, all right? And she goes, on the Special Olympics. Anyway. Anyway, so... And lawn balls is a fuck game to play if you're an alcoholic because, you know, it's at a fucking bar, you know? And they open up at 10am so you can drink while you're playing.

Anyway. And they cost about two bucks a pint as well. $1.90 if you remember. Do you have to live within a 10km radius? Is it one of those situations? Well, fortunately for me, I don't live on the Gold Coast. So, sweet. So, yeah, I missed a couple of matches.

Were you ever in the doll? In the doll. Yes, yes, I have been in the doll. Are you currently in drugs? I could do this all night. This is so fun. This is the best. Yeah, yeah, all right, guys.

I told you I didn't want to fucking break the beginning part of the story up, Dilraka, right? And I can't get into the fucking story. I can't start it. This is already a better story than your fucking sauna story. Let's end it now. That's it, guys. That was it.

I was just on the Gold Coast playing lawnmower. You're on a Gold Coast. Oh, no, don't. Don't. You'll fucking start up for 20 minutes on this. You will. You really are.

I said post instead of coast. Alright, go on. You really are a dumb little person. Alright. All right. All right, this is officially one of the better Sydney ones. Good, all right. Every time you go to start the story again,

you take another sip of beer. Like, that's going to help you. Well, I've had fucking 20 minutes of trying to start the story, all right? I've got to finish three jugs of beer by now. This is the best. Anyway. All right, get in with it. So I'm being an unreliable lawn bowls teammate to my friends, right?

And then you're on the sauna, yeah. We make the finals of the Australian Lawn Bowls Championship. Fuck. And they're like, you've got to be match fit tomorrow. I go out. I go on the... What? What's the difference between

Oh, here we fucking go. Alright. Alright, is it in the piss or is it on the piss? Were you drinking actual piss, Ray, or was it actual alcohol? What's the difference between being hungover and being 100% fit to do that?

That's what a rookie would think. You know, it's more than just that. So, massive game tomorrow. The coach has told you to settle down. Yeah. And like the Argentinian soccer team, you know, not exert yourself too much the night before. Exactly.

And have you heeded this? Have you taken it seriously? So, I'm coming home. I'm thinking about this, right? At about 4.30 in the morning when I'm coming home right I'm thinking like

inserting an Indian kebab up your ass you know how'd you get home did you come on a cab I came in a cab in a cab but

yeah so I get home and I think I'm worried about how hungover I'm going to be the next day. So what I thought was what I would do. It was the next day.

Yeah. All right. I'm getting fucked over for technicalities in this story, all right? I was going to put. Man, next time you go on a podcast with this story, it's going to be completely correct. I will have it pre-written. The time I was in the Gold Coast by Ray Badred.

On. So... In iTunes. Reuben Guthrie, available now for download. The Monions. Good. Good. Right, so you went out and you got a fucking habit. Hang on, hang on, hang on.

We just got another... We just got another advent calendar. Oh, mate. I haven't even started the fucking story yet. We need at least another jug of beer. So, yeah, I start thinking, I'm worried about how hungover I'm going to be

when I wake up that day, right? So what I decided to do was, what I thought would be a great idea was to go into the sauna and sweat out the booze, right? Sweat out the alcohol. And that way I wake up refreshed. Fine, right? And you went in the sauna and Hugh Jackman was there.

And Pete Elliott. So I get in the sauna and I fill, I get the bucket, I throw away that stupid fucking little ladle and I go out to the pool. Wow. That's a lot of misplaced aggression in that scene. Fucking ladle deserved it. They give you a bucket and a fucking ladle.

They tell you you've got to put it in the ladle and then put it in the bucket. Why can't I just put it in the bucket, you know? You've got an easy life if this is where you're putting your aggression. Mate, it's like if you came into my house, you'd say, hey, Carl, you want a glass of water? Here's a glass, here's a teaspoon, fill it up with this fucking thing. I'd love to watch you eat soup, just like a fucking errrr. Wait, wait,

you think the ladle is to fill the bucket? No, the ladle is to pour it into the coals, on the rocks. Well, just use the fucking bucket for that. If you put too much, you fucking burn out. That's why you need to put a little, like, a tiny bit. That's what the ladle's there for. You're in

control of how much you put fucking out, right? You don't have to put however big the fucking bucket is out. Like, it's up to you to dictate the amount of water in the bucket that you wish to pour out, right? Whether that wants to be 100% of the bucket or 30% of the bucket. That's up to you, Dilraba. You live your own fucking life, man. Yeah, you go out there. I can't wait.

You don't let no bucket tell you what to fucking do, man. I can't wait for you with your new bartender pants to go downstairs and start pouring beer from a bucket into people's pots. Also, this story started 25 minutes ago. Did you win the lawn bowls? So. Okay.

So I get this sorted pretty fucking hot and I sit on the top rung, right, and I'm like, it's pretty fucking hot up here, right? It's quite hot up on the top rung. In the top rung. Primarily because I've used the bucket, right? And I've filled up the needle on the thermometer looks like it's about to break through the fucking glass, right? It's shaking.

And I sit at the top and I'm like, it's actually quite hot up here. Quite uncomfortably hot. Maybe if I lie down on the top rung, it might be a bit cooler, right? And I lie down, I'm like, it's still quite hot. I'll go down in the second seat, I sit down in the second seat, it's still quite hot here. Maybe I should lie down on this one, it's still quite

hot. So I go down to the ground, I'm like, it's a bit better here, but if I want to be really cool, I've got to get as close to the ground as possible. So I lie down on the ground. If I want to be really cool in a sauna... Yeah. Well, you're already pretty cool by being in a sauna

anyway, right? Boo. So you'd be single too, right? Yeah. I have a girlfriend.

I met her in the sauna actually. Was she in the bucket? So I lie down on the ground thinking this will be the maximum coolness I can get.

I'm in my jeans. Much similar to the jeans I'm in tonight, guys. Why are you in your jeans? These trusty jeans. Because I'm coming from a night out. Take your pants off. I took the pants. This is the part of the story where I take the pants off.

So the fucking sauna's good enough for your jeans but not this goddamn podcast. Yeah. Thanks a lot. No. See, I thought you were joking. You walked into a sauna with jeans on. Yes. Yeah.

Chris was there. I said, Chris, I've only got shorts, mate. They only got you in with pants in this sauna. This is a VIP sauna. Can I swap with you now? He lent me his jeans. I went into the sauna. This is a VIP sauna. Can I swap with you now? He lent me his jeans. I went into the sauna. I took off my jeans.

I took off my shirt. I made him into a little pillow. I lied down on the ground. Next thing you know, I wake up. The most privileged homeless person. Yes. Wrapping himself. Yeah.

And so I woke up to these kids shaking me. These little kids shaking me. The dad yelling, going, leave the man alone. Leave him alone. Don't push the man. I wake up and I'm like, oh, where? And I realise I'm falling asleep in the sauna, right? And I'm pretty distressed.

I'm, oh, fuck, I'm sleeping in the sauna, right? Pretty cool, though. I think we've all gathered you're in the sauna. But the kids are like, who is this cool guy in the sauna? What's he doing? He's so cool. He's got great genes. It's stories like this that make me think Reclaim Australia have a point.

Like, oh. Okay, so I think maybe I'm not hungover anymore, but my head is back... Like, I've never had a hangover like this before. It feels like my brain is, like, squeezing in on itself, like, pulsing, right? And it's really quite hurting a lot, right? Hurting to a point...

I'm pretty sure I would have been crying if I had any liquid left in my fucking body, right? I put my hand in my mouth. I'm like, I've got no fucking saliva. Your brain is somehow smaller than when it was when you made the decision to walk into a sauna with jeans on and go to sleep. It had shrunken. It's not one of those sauna clubs where you lock the door

and there's little holes and then someone's cock comes through. I mentioned a story about this the last fucking podcast, ironically. But no, no, it wasn't one of those saunas, Brendan. But I woke up, so I put my thing, I completely dehydrated myself, right? And to the point of, like, close to death, right? Well, I slept in a fucking sauna for three hours, right? Of course I was going to fucking... Is this where the story gets moving?

How do you know you're close to death? Like, do you wake up and go, I reckon I've got half an hour left in me? Well, so I pass out, I reckon I've got half an hour left in me? Oh, well, so I pass out. I go to fucking a murder lab. Hang on, you go to sleep, you wake up and then you pass out? Yes. That's just going to sleep.

Man, I am zonked. Yeah. I'm not cold back to sleep. So you're in the fucking sauna and you've got lawn bowls tomorrow. Yeah. Well, this story's been fucking exacerbated now. It's almost over now anyway, right? We were all waiting for this big punchline,

but it was meant to be just a sentence, this story. I go to emergency and I'm in the Gold Coast for university games. It's my last... It's my last... On. On the Gold Coast for university... It's my last... On the hospital.

It's my last... I feel like I'm in a relationship again. On the hospital. It's my last session. I feel like I'm in a relationship again. On a relationship. You know what I like. You're like, okay. We have to do another one of these in 55 minutes. Stop interrupting him. Please, God, just let him get to the end of the fucking story.

I'm pretty sure. So we can get out of here. I feel like I'm in the sauna now with my jeans on. I think I might go to sleep. The second podcast is just me saying the second half of this story, actually. It's a cliffhanger. Yeah. Did you lose any weight?

Yeah, I lost about five kilos. Stop talking to the beer. Oh. Oh, what do I want? This is fucked, all right? I mean, I know Carl usually fucking roasts me, but I didn't know I was going to get fucking set up like this, all right? This is bullshit.

All right? This is absolute bullshit. Carl fucking is the worst cut in the world, all right? All right, then. See that round of a ploy? Anyway. Which one's Carl? Are you that science guy

off Triple J? Is that you? Fuck, man. You know so much. Oh, right. I didn't realise what company I was teaming. This is good. Any questions? So, with Telegraph Poles...

Oh, God, all right, here we go. Wow. Badron, Badron. Man, that is a very good reference. Anyway. Yeah. He's literally doing this next show. Is he?

Yeah. Yeah, right. I felt that. Now, what the girl on Big Brother said, that I'm really predictable. Like, I know what's going to happen. I love that. That's on par with something Ray Badrin would have said in that story.

Come on. All right, Ray, we would have said in that story. Come on. All right, Ray, we've got to wrap this up. Come on. Please, God. Stop interrupting this story, Ray. We've already reached the climax of the story, when I slept in this order, right? The ending is just me going to... I don't think you know what the word climax means.

You didn't have a climax when the kids were in the sauna, did you? For fuck's sake. For fuck's sake. Just end the fucking story, Ray. Just end it. SBS show. At 1am on a Tuesday. Okay, did you win the lawn bowls or not?

I went home and I was so delirious, right? I was so fucked that I ended up downloading Brendan's movie from iTunes, right? Oh, it's a punchline. There we go. Perfect dismount. I went to download Minions. I couldn't even fucking see straight, right? Is it Monions or Minions?

I don't know. Fuck it, I'll just get this one. What did you give it out of five? I've thought too long about this, Brendan. Fuck it, of all the improv you've done so far, all you had to do was name a number out of five and you got stuck. I know, but now I've thought long about it and each number symbolises something, right?

Like, one is I'm saying Brendan's movie's quite shit. Two, I'm saying it's pretty shit and I better have something else to say. We get the rating system. This speech symbolises that you're a dumb cunt. I don't think you guys understand the gravity of the situation I've put in, right? Brendan's sitting next to me. I have to rate his movie. I have to do it comedically and not offend him.

And I've never seen the fucking movie. I missed the sauna story. How about you roll those jeans up and have a nap on the front of the stage so we can finish this up. No, we do have to wrap this up. Is there an end to the story? There isn't an end to the story. What are you doing? Did you play?

Yeah. No, the end of the story is I went to emergency. We forfeited the final because I didn't turn up. Oh, what? No, you didn't turn on. No, it would be I didn't turn down, right, if you're going to go. Okay. So you didn't turn up for a sport that 85-year-old people can turn up to?

Like with relative ease. I just couldn't get there. It was tough. So you just, you went home, you went to sleep? No, no. I went to emergency

and they put me on a drip. Oh yeah, I remember that bit. Yeah, they put me on a drip and they gave me some hydrating fluid that I was meant to drink. Were you frustrated with the drip that it wasn't getting enough into you all at once? Onto you. Bucket style, just wanting to get it all in?

Fuck this needle bullshit. Yeah, and so, look, I recovered. I was fine. I'm fine now. I'm here doing the podcast. Debatable. End of fucking story. Let's move on. Brendan, tell us a doing the podcast. Debatable. End of fucking story. Let's move on.

Brendan, tell us a story about you and your life. Let's rip that apart. Well. Tell us about what you did last night, mate. I'm thinking now that Dave and Margaret are gone, it should be you and me, I reckon. Ray Badger and everyone, give it up. Guys, that is all the time we have for the little dum-dum,

for the little, the dumb little people club for this week. Give a round of applause. Brendan Cowell, Ray Badger and Dylan McJay Singer. Go check out Reuben Guthrie on iTunes. Let's get it to overtake the minions. Thanks for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mates. What the fuck was that?

Were you like eight years old or something? Jesus Christ. That was like fucking weird Wiggles shit going on over there. This is fucking demented. I'm going to fucking go and get a Galaxy phone.