The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 272 - Harley Breen & Ben Lomas

Episode Date: December 23, 2015

Penrith, A Month of Kindness and Drunken Joke Writing.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey mates, we've announced a whole bunch of live shows this week all around the goddamn country. Merry Christmas everyone. The end. Our gift to you is a chance to give us money. Yep. So we've got January 23, we're going to Ballarat. It's our first time doing a show outside of a major city. It's the closest we've ever been to Maribor before. It's going to be really good.

Can you see it from there? If you stand on a really tall mountain that doesn't exist, yes. Great. So we're going to be there, which means if you're in central Victoria, if you're anywhere near there, and plus if you're from Melbourne, we've already heard a bunch of people from Melbourne are going to make the trek up for the day, which we are. We're bringing some guests up with us from the big smoke.

Let's hire a trailer and people can get in the back, Tommy. Okay, cool. Then we're going to Adelaide February the 13th. We've just announced that this week. Saturday, February the 13th at the Rhino Room. We've done it. You twisted our arm last time. It was such a delight being over there with you. It was

actually great. So you came through in the end. You bought plenty of tickets. It was bigger than it's ever been over there. And man, that was a heaps fun show. So yeah, we're back. It's going to be awesome. We're during the comedy festival over there. So we're going to have awesome guests. Yeah, can't wait to see this backfiring when no one buys tickets and we are left scratching our heads.

And then we have got March the 20th. We're in Brisbane going back up there for the Brisbane Comedy Festival. Finally, Brisbane. You've been complaining for about a year. So we're going to do it. You guys are always awesome. You always buy heaps of tickets We've always got big shows

In Brisbane So don't let us down We're during the afternoon Of what date was it? March the 20th March the 20th So hey here's the plan We're probably going to get

A small little venue If you sell the first one out We'll put two on That's the possibility there guys Putting that out there So get your tickets quick And we may just announce The second show

With different guests Ooh la-dee-da Then from March the 27th We've got our big live shows At the Melbourne International Comedy Festival So get your tickets quick and we may just announce the second show with different guests. Ooh, la-dee-da. Then from March the 27th, we've got our big live shows at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival every Sunday. You know what to expect by now. Huge guests from all over the festival. We've got a season pass on sale, which is your most cost-effective option of going to all four shows, plus the legendary drunk cast on the final night of the festival.

We've also got individual tickets for those shows on sale too. Plus a chance of something that could rival the drunk cast, my 40th birthday show. That's its own separate ticket, March the 30th. The great man himself is turning 40 years. 40 years spent on God's green earth. Just really ruffling as many feathers as he can.

The 40 greatest years there's been so far. Jesus. In my words. Right there. Sure. I've already got some pretty fun stuff planned, Carl. Oh, really?

I've been making some little notes. I've been making some calls. Some pretty fun cakes? Yep. Yummy. You could put it like that. Yum. Hey, that's enough of an ad.

This episode, this week is really funny. Buy a ticket. Come out and support us. Come see us out there in the big wide world. Also, this episode is brought to you, as always, lately by Yellow Moose, the best chocolate mousse that I have had in the last 40 years. See you, mates. Hey, mates.

Welcome once again into the little dum-dum club for another week. My name is Tommy Dasolo, and sitting opposite me is my best friend in the whole world, the Saint Nick of comedy. Hang on, I'll field this one. Carl Chandler. Yay! It's Christmas, everyone.

Just to give a bit of backstory, we are laughing at absolutely nothing. People must be thinking, oh, wow, something must have just happened before they started recording. No. I think we're just laughing at how ridiculous it is to be doing a podcast with your friends. We're just laughing at the concept of comedy. Should we bring in these two rabble-rousers? Get them in. Get them in here.

You may know them as people that just laughed at nothing. Harley's actually crying. Please welcome Harley Breen. Yay! You guys are the dumbest fucks I know. And also, you know him as just a big fan of comedy Comedy

Please welcome Ben Lomax Yay Merry Christmas That was a lot of fun we just had there It's all downhill from here I don't think we're going to top nothing Boy it sure is the silly season hey Oh wow this is so good.

Thanks for being on. Let's do a bit of – I would have done this without you guys at the top. I just wanted to do a bit of this. Well, Harley, you did the Just for Laughs festival last year. Yes, I did. In Sydney. We were just talking about it off air. At the House of Opera?

Yes, yes, Sydney Opera House in Sydney. We get it. Okay, you went to Sydney we get it do we all get that but where is it it's in our nation's capital what's the main form of art

that happens inside this house opera usually okay sometimes a lot of puns but they they bent the rules for you guys I

no no I thought I better do opera so I did do some of your best opera right now a tight five minutes of opera for you guys? No, no. I thought I'd better do opera, so I did. Do some of your best opera right now. A tight five minutes of opera. Do one line in opera. No, to be honest,

I just went by the rules of the aforementioned house. I did comedy until Dilruk sang. Because he's a lady. And something else. So anyway, I did it this year. We talked about that a couple of weeks ago. It went to air last week, I think. And so there was a bunch of people that messaged me to say that they saw.

A lot of people haven't seen my stand-up or whatever. So they saw that on the comedy channel. The one thing I did notice, the sweetest bit of feedback I got, was someone copied and pasted something that happened immediately after it went to air. Like someone's literally watched the show on the comedy channel, my 10 minutes of comedy. Then immediately after someone has written down one of my jokes and pasted it to the Facebook group, Australia's best dad joke. You piece of shit. This one comes to us from a viewer called Tim.

Fuck, that's great. Which one is it? My moth joke. The one where you got really excited at the end of the punchline. Yeah, well, I don't know about that. You are a very rad dad, so it makes sense That you're on that Facebook page

I think there'll be A bit of Chandler work Coming out at Bon Bons Around the country In the next couple of days Pretty sure that's where He writes his festival shows He's a truckload of Bon Bons

And what kind of What kind of heat Was it getting on the Facebook page Got quite a few likes I have to say That's good That's very good

Cal Chandler's got A hundred Bon Bons But you know what a few likes, I have to say. That's good. That's very good. Carl Chandler's got 100 bonbons. But you know what? This is the closest I get to being recognised. Someone put it on and then someone immediately wrote underneath it, just saw that one on TV. So that person got outed, you know, so that's good. That's good.

Someone else recognised. Two people saw that show. I like that there's a separate group for Australia's best dad jokes. Because, I mean, a moth coming out of a wallet, that's one of the great Aussie yarns. Yeah. That's just a distinctly Australian thing. Next year I'm hoping for the international best dad joke forum.

Yeah, exactly. Something to aim for. I've got a bit of mailbag as well. This comes to us. This is a repeat offender. This is someone who's emailed us before a live show that we did a little while ago. I don't know if you remember.

He wanted us to hang shit on New Zealand during the gig. Oh, right. Have we got a name for this guy? His name's Mo. He's back. Hey, mates. I wrote you once asking you to roast New Zealand. Now I need your help again.

Hang on. Hang on. I believe we didn't help him the first time. Time to throw the bat signal back up into the air. He obviously listens. Yeah. Now I need your help again. Have you ever been to throw the bat signal back up into the air. He obviously listens. Now I need your help again. Have you ever been to Penrith, New South Wales? If so, tell me how shit it is.

My English teacher's from there and I want to improve my grades by making fun of his hometown. Thanks for the cuntless hours of entertainment, Mo. I'm doing a gig in Penrith. Are you really? Yep. It's going to be good. I'll see you there. Okay, there it is. Something awful we can say about Penrith Are you really? Yep It's going to be good I'll see you there Okay

Okay there it is Something awful we can say about Penrith Ben Lomas will be appearing there It will be an awful gig You're doing it at the Penrith Panthers? The No Some local government thing

Where they don't listen to me And they pay me money That'll be good Yeah Looking forward to it I've done the Penrith Panthers Leagues Club It's really good

Walking through past the pokies So you can get to the theatre In the Penrith Panthers Leagues Club. It's really good walking through past the pokies so you can get to the theatre. Penrith, it's a pretty rough area of Sydney, isn't it? Yeah, brutal. Look, it's like, I guess it's a town, but it's because of the urban sprawl. It's an outer, outer suburb of Sydney is how it feels when you're going there.

Yeah, it's pretty rough. Cool. And they do pokies well there. It's not like a couple of pokies in the back room. No, it's a lot of pokies. It's a lot. And they've got pokies outside so not like a couple of pokies. No, it's a lot of pokies. It's a lot. And they've got pokies outside so you can smoke and play pokies. Ah, there you go.

New South Wales has smoking pokies. Pokies al fresco. Yeah. That's bizarre. And toilet seats is your seat in front of it. So you're just shitting the piss as you're putting your kids' tuition money into those stupid machines. Wow. We've given Mo

a lot of material. I just don't know first of all what he thinks this podcast is. Like just his personal, I mean we have answered him twice now so he's right. But also he wants us to hang shit on it because his teacher's from there and he thinks us making fun of where his teacher's from is going to improve his grades

at school. And does the teacher listen to the podcast? Maybe he does. Like maybe now the teacher's going to come in and go,. And does the teacher listen to the podcast? Maybe he does. Maybe now the teacher's going to come in and go, heard that on the little dum-dum club. You got me good, you little son of a gun. Straight A pluses. I can't imagine someone called Mo being at school. No.

This should be a 60-year-old girl. He's behind a bar. That is where Mo is. Who's looking at a little Freshly born baby And going That's got Mo written all over it Where is Mo's parents He should not be listening to this And using words like cuntless

I mean come on What is happening With the youth of Australia We do get a lot of High school listeners To this podcast I don't know why We've been saying this

You would have heard The last couple of weeks Because you're a big listener Of the show Mate Oh that episode two weeks ago is so good. You and Mo sit together and listen. You love to listen.

You love to listen. But I guess you guys are like the 12th man of the 21st century. Oh, yeah. Great. That's great. That's a compliment and a half. Well, we used to sneak off to try and listen to that. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. We talked about this at the time. This was a couple of years ago now and we got some photos taken in McDonald's, which people will know if they've been on our website. They've seen the photos of us. There were a group of schoolgirls there and they recognised us. We were getting pointed out by giggling schoolgirls in a

McDonald's. What a world. You guys are already halfway to being sex pests. We got a couple of free fillet-o-fish if you know what I mean. He just went three quarters of the way there That'll be on the new dad joke website Australia's best dad jokes I fucked a school girl with Kyle Chandler I'm dad

Dad's done it again I have indeed done it again Well let's do this This is my mini segment That I call Carl's phone bag Where I get Instead of You get the messages to the official

Website or the official email address I tend to just get messages straight to my phone number Someone This is along the lines of what Mo What Mo sent to you. I got a message last week that just says G'day mate. Heading to Hobart.

Any tips for places to drink? We don't go to Hobart. We haven't done a show in Hobart. Like, we're not, just to be clear, we are not fucking Wikipedia. We are not TripAdvisor. But I also think that of anything, like when people, because people do that, oh, what's a good bar to go to? Any bar.

You know what I mean? If you just want to have beer, literally anywhere. Yeah. Just beer and pokies. That's all you need. Yeah. So, yeah, Hobart, look, you know what? This is, I'm going to take a risk.

I'm going to go out on a limb. Hobart, the railway hotel. Try that place. I'm sure there'll be one. I think every city's got a railway hotel. I don't even know if Hobart... Does Hobart have a train line? I've never taken public transport in Australia.

I've never been to Hobart. I have. I've been there quite a lot and I can't picture... You know I'm a touring comic. Yeah, we get it. I've never been to Hobart. I have. I've been there quite a lot and I can't picture. You know I'm a touring comic. Yeah, we get it. Isn't that what you guys are? And you haven't been to Hobart.

Well, that speaks volumes of it. No, I've been to Hobart plenty. I just don't fucking bang on about it. Because I've gone to other better places as well. Yeah, I go there all the time. I drink. I just can't remember the names of the pubs. I'm making so much cash, I'm just getting that drunk.

Good. All right, so that's answered that phone bag request. Now, update on last week's episode. We talked about, like, announcement. We are going to Adelaide. We're going back. We're going back. Yeah, we're going back After the roaring success Of our bitching and moaning

About not selling tickets Immediately last time We've decided to Fill up the next six weeks Of content With complaining about that So We are now officially on sale

We're going back to Adelaide On what Early February Feb the 13th I believe Yep It's on a Saturday afternoon It's at the Rhino Room

We're in Adelaide It's here in the Fringe Vessel So we know We don't have to Bloody fly any of our mates over. We can just scab actual good comics that are already there for the Fringe Festival. I'm busy. Yeah.

All right, you're in Hobart, mate. We get it. Go on down there and check in bus timetables. We get it. I'm in the Hobart Fringe. Yeah, so anyway, so we announced that the other day. This is a follow-up of what happened last week

when there was a lot of talk about me being drunk at the various live podcasts. Someone from Adelaide's already volunteered to bring along a breathalyser to the Adelaide podcast. Great. Wow. Fantastic. Yeah, so we can see what I'm blowing by the end of it

and it's not Tommy. Yeah. Comedy. That was such good comedy. Adelaide, if you want to see that live. What a great portrait you're painting of yourself on this episode. You fucked a schoolgirl. No.

You're sucking off your mate who you do your podcast with. And you've got a drinking problem. And I'm coming to Adelaide. So just factual then. So next up in the old phone bag, we've been given a lot of, like I said,

we've been given a lot of messages from year 12 students. We heard the story last week of someone actually, you know, you get your VCE results these days by getting them texted to you. So they forwarded, this guy forwarded his results to us who got quite good grades on everything except for maths who basically gave up on his maths exam

and instead wrote about Little Dunlop Club on his exam paper. Oh, I love him. Legend. I love him. Legend. Wrote about his favourite pizzas, wrote about stuff like that. That's the best. All on brand.

Expand bracket A plus B squared. I love hamburgers. This is actually how I got expelled from school. Really? For doing exactly that on a maths exam. Except about the 12th man. No. To be fair, two for 22 would have got you passed in maths.

Show your workings, two for the two. Also, you got expelled during your year 12 exams. You were so close. It's nice that you think I made it to year 12. They don't just let anyone into Hobart. It was year 10. Oh, really? Did you not do year 11, year 12?

I have since, but no, I dropped out of school at 15 and then went back and did it as a mature age student. Wow. And where I'm sitting, I'm in perfect range to see all the dumb fuck tattoos that you covered. This checks out. To be honest, you're dressed like a year 10. You got white socks up to your knees.

Yes, yes. They're beautiful. Oh, man. Plain T-shirt on. Covering the mistakes. You're covered in zits and you've got your first ever erection hanging out of your pants. Yes. Beautiful. Oh, man. Plain T-shirt on. Yeah. Covering the mistakes. You're covered in zits and you've got your first ever erection hanging out your pants. And I'm fingering you at a McDonald's.

It's 1995 all over again. Oh, how good is year 12? This better come up on an exam. What episode did Carl finger Harley? What episode didn't he finger Harley? What number episode? That counts as maths. Put it in a fraction.

If I have one car and one ex-wife, how many cars do I have now? What's our hour? How long did that take us? I believe it was 14 minutes. I have two cars, one ex-wife. Oh, man. So, yeah, someone just texted me and here's the results and it's like A, B plus A, A plus A plus A, A plus A, B plus, B plus B plus B,

and then with a tag, how did I get this? By not fucking mentioning you dumb cunts in my exams. Oh, they're pretty good, Graves. A lot of respect from a 17-year-old, by the way, for our podcast. I feel safe about the direction of this country. Yeah. But did he, was there an enter score?

Like, did he actually get, like, you know, did he get rated across the state? Oh, 85.05.

Whoa. That's good. That's not bad. If anyone could top that enter score, just... It's no Tom Ballard, but you know,

it's all right. What did Tom get? Some ridiculous 99.97 or something. Yeah. Yeah, where's that going to get you? By the way, he lives with Tommy Dasolino.

Dream big, kids. Stay in school, kids. Maybe that's why teenagers listen to it, as a driver to do well at school. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to turn into Tommy Dasolino. As Lawrence Mooney said about this show,

it's like the biggest loser. People watch it and they're just happy they're not us. Because when you get really low exams, I remember like when our exam results came out and people were getting like the biggest dumb fucks in our class got like, you know, basically nothing. And I remember going, what job do you get? What job can you get with a school like that? And I remember people just going, strapper. I'm like, what's strapper?

Oh, you just strap horses. Like, okay, so that's... Strapper. I still don't know what that actually means. You strap horses. You strap the seat. You put the seat on the horse. The seat. The saddle. The saddle. Well done. Yeah, well done. So you're in charge of

other people not falling off a horse Yeah cool the dumbest people should be in charge of that Well to be fair You don't even qualify for a strapper Because you didn't know what the saddle meant The seat The horse seat God I love horses

Where's my horse seat Where's the strapper Where's my horse seat Did you get 10 strapper? Yeah, where's my horse seat? Did you get 10 on your entry exam? Given how dumb these people are, maybe they're trying to say stripper and they just don't even properly know what it's called. A stripper. That's the level of intelligence.

Yeah, okay. But the other one that people used to say is if you got a low score, you become a fitter and turner. Is that what it's like? Oh, yeah. A fitter and turner, yeah. Yeah, I remember. I didn't know what that was.

Yeah. But then again, I thought saddle was seat What did you get for your VCE? Oh here we go that's a good question I don't know I think it was because it's a different score to what it is now Ah right Queensland's completely different as well

Yeah right I remember it was pretty average I remember because I was pretty good at school until about year 11, year 12 and then I sort of drifted off. I was the same. Yeah. I was like, ah, it's cool to not try. Yeah.

What did you get, Tommy? I got 76, I think. You loser. I did all art stuff that all got marked down. Yeah. I lost like 15 points or something. Well, I got 86.5. Still banging on about it.

But the only reason I got it is because I did. I did Dutch. I did Dutch.5. Still banging on about it. But the only reason I got it is because I did Dutch. I did Dutch, right, and there were only eight other people who did it in the state. So I became like second in the state. So it boosted up my whole score. If I didn't have that, I would have been in the 50s. Wow. Oh, okay.

I got a six. So out of – in Queensland, the OP is between one and 25. It's your overall position that you stand in the state. No, no, no. It's the same as here You just got the best Out of 100 Yeah

You're a strapper 1 being the best 25 being the worst Oh really Oh okay Well that's good Did it right I was

I was 19 20 What a weird system It is I don't think it exists anymore I don't think it's that I think it's now out of 100 Yeah

I think it's more like VCE now I think Well that was great Text us in, send us in your VCE scores guys Let's find our Dumbest listener Yeah yeah This guy's got 85.05

Give us a lower than that Send us in if you've got a lower score The lowest score that we find Carl in if you've got a lower score. The lowest score that we find, Carl will finger you in a McDonald's. And send it standing beside a horse. Pointing to the seat. Send it to

a picture of you at your job interview. With an armchair on top of a horse. Well, I, I, this is a conversation I had.

I haven't, I haven't done this for a while. I used to have, replicate conversations I had with my girlfriend until I got told to stop by my girlfriend.

So this is what she said to me the other day. No, just, no, this is too good so I had to put it in. So we went for a walk and just a normal car went past us with just one person in it driving, just a normal car drove past. And my girlfriend pointed at it and went, that looks like an Uber.

No, that just looks like a car. How does anything look like an Uber? How does that work? Well, she's right though. It does look like an Uber. They all potentially look like an Uber, as in there's a person in the car and it's a car. And it doesn't have a sign on the top that says taxi.

That's the only thing that stops it. Yeah. This will go well when she listens to this one. She won't be listening. She's not going to listen. I had my first ever, and this will double up as a good little ad, little promo.

I had my first ever dream about mousse the other day. About chocolate mousse. I'm very surprised it's your first ever. I know. I know. I had a dream about chocolate mousse and this is because we're sponsored by Yala at the moment. I know. I know. I know. I had a dream about chocolate mousse. And this is because we're sponsored by Yala at the moment.

Yala Mousse. Yala Foods. A beautiful, lovely company that give us money. And free mousse and sometimes free hummus accidentally. Can I say this on the podcast? I have some in the fridge. And housemate of the show, Tom Ballard, told me the other day that he ate some of the hummus and then realised that he'd in fact gone off. He checked the date after he'd eaten it.

And by his report, it still tasted really good. Oh, that's great. There you go. Yellow moose. Just eat it. Whenever. Just leave it for months. Was it a used by or best before?

I think it was a used by. Oh. It was either the moose or the hummus. But it was off by like a week. Wow. I believe we get paid to talk about mousse and not hummus, so if we could delete that bit for us. I just remembered it was definitely the mousse.

Oh, okay, great. All right, good, good. Because, yeah, we're not getting paid for hummus. We're just talking about mousse, please. But you know what? I don't want to give any free ads out to anyone. Is that the dream that we're there and then we get double the money from them

to bring hummus into the mix as well? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my waking dream. But you know why? There's probably a use-by on it because there actually is no preservatives in yellow moose. Oh, here we go. You can't just whack it in the fridge and eat it whenever. It's fresh stuff.

By my story, you very much can. Oh, okay. Tom's been vomiting non-stop for the last week. Have you seen him recently? He's in hospital. But you can eat it. You can, yeah. He looks bloated and not well

but to be fair he looked like that before he ate it. He's been one of our big supporters of this show and has listened every week since we started. I think that's going to end pretty soon. Did he ever get us on Triple J when he had a job there?

No. He's a comedian, right? He's in the next room, right? He is the next room. Hey! Comedy! So. comedy comedy so fuck idiots what a bunch of

horrid cunts so I had a dream about mousse I had a dream about chocolate mousse and this is my dream I dreamt

that I went to my local supermarket which is the renaissance just up the road from me and I dreamt that there was yellow mose there. And I felt a little bit like I'd had too much

yellow moose. And so then I bought different brand moose. And then I went to the cash register and explicitly went, can you put in a brown paper bag? Because I was in the dream. I was thinking, what if I get caught eating off-brand moose?

That's a guilty conscience. That's why you're dreaming about that. What did you do? It's got nothing to do with moose either. Oh, really? Wow, how long have we got? Sifting through Chandler's guilty conscience. I just had a dream about what I was about to say about Tom Ballard.

Wow, that's very funny. That would be, that would actually be, it'd be bad, but that would be funny if we got our sponsorship yanked off us for eating something off brand. I know, I know. And because it's that thing where I was, you know, sometimes, yeah, I don't know whether there's a metaphor or not, but sometimes you want to taste a different mousse, you know what I'm saying? Shit.

Now we're digging deep. Sometimes you do want to taste a different mousse Tell us again why you haven't proposed You walked yourself into that I was going to try and not say anything No, the door's right there It had to be done I thought you were going to say that you had a dream

And that you ate the chocolate mousse and it tasted like hummus No, I don't know what hummus tastes like I've never had it There's some in the fridge right now Yeah, it's off It's the best time to try it chocolate mousse and it tastes like hummus no I don't know what hummus tastes like I've never had it what? there's some in the fridge right now yeah it's off no it's the best time to try it

if you like that imagine how good it's going to be when you have it fresh hey I want to bring this up I have a pitch Carl for the future of this podcast this is something I've been thinking about

this came up at the paid radio I'm in this came up at the... Paid radio. I'm in. This came up at the Christmas live show. I vaguely remember that. Yeah, I was going to say, I think you were asleep on the stage at this point.

The suggestion has been made that this podcast has gotten maybe like meaner as it's gone along, a little more brutal as time has gone on. And we're sort of constantly talking about our listeners just being real savage to us. They seem to borderline hate us. There's a couple of repeat offenders that are just really... They're very mean, aren't they?

There's a lot of mean people. There's some very mean people out there. And now, I put it to you that the way that we carry on on this podcast, I think people are just trying to emulate us. I think that it's what we're putting out into the world is what is coming back to us. So here's my pitch. For the month of January, I am going to be exclusively kind on this podcast.

I am going to refuse to say anything mean about anyone, anything. I don't know if you want to join me in this. I'm guessing probably not. Well, if we want this podcast to be any good, probably not. Sounds like I'm going to be carrying you for four episodes. Just a challenge, just to see if we can talk about other stuff without being mean. And then after the month, if the abuse is still continuing

from the listeners, then we can categorically say that it's nothing to do with us and it's just the fault of the animals that listen to this show. That is a horrible scientific experiment. You can't make that judgement call after one month. What you would need to do is a whole year, right, of that niceness because you've got back catalogue of stuff that people aren't getting through yet. So there's no way to isolate who's listening to who when.

Yeah, fuck up, Cunt. I'm just trying to get him out before January. You know what? Before we go that far, before we go for a whole month, right, let's just have a little taste of what January is going to be like if that's your idea, right? Yeah. So here we go.

Let's open up Ask Mr. Cunt. Okay, cool. Here's the segment tune right now. Yep. And we're back. So here's a question. I've got a question from Matt Little. Now let's see how you're going to be answering in January on top of things.

My ultimate test. Okay. Right. So the question to me is, dear Mr. Carl, I'm thinking about proposing and would like to get your advice on the best way to do so. So I'll field this one with help from my friend Tommy. What's the best way to do so. So, I'll field this one with help from my friend Tommy. What's the best way to propose? Yeah.

I would say pick a spot, like a location that has some kind of meaning to you guys in the relationship. Yeah, next to an Uber. Yeah. Get a nice ring. And don't wait. Once you're thinking about doing it, just do it. Just dive right in. Wow, I don't wait once you're thinking about doing it just do it just dive right in

wow I can't wait for January you knew it was coming funny stuff like that man I'm going to be downloading twice well what's the deal like if I'm allowed to be mean how am I answering that if I'm mean go fucking do it you cunt

yeah that's good that's quality keep that up that's good advice that's funny what's good advice. That's funny. What's your advice? Because it's not ask Mr. Allsop, it's ask Mr. Carl. No, you're right.

Have you got any ideas? I don't. But I'll think of one right now because it's ask Mr. Carl. Well, Matt lives, I know Matt Little lives in Tasmania. Oh, yeah. So I would say get to Hobart. Go to the Railway Hotel. Look for Harley.

Hide your ring inside Harley's high school socks and then pull them out in the middle of a chicken parlor and say, will you look at the model of marriage. Look at what it did to Harley. Let's get in Harley's car. Whoops. Oh, that's gone. And let's do it, honey.

Let's do it. I didn't see my car through the window. It's right there. That's a new car. Is that your car? I have two cars. The one big car. Whoa.

Yeah, one of them I don't have access to. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Still paying it off. I get visitation rights once a month. You get to see your car less than your kid. Yeah, it's sad. Car doesn't talk back. January's going to be great.

I really think. I'm looking forward to it. It's going to be a positive change for the podcast. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if I'm going to, if I'm green lighting this idea after that little example. I don't know. I don't know if I'm going to – I don't know if I'm greenlighting this idea after that little example. I don't know. Okay.

All right. Any more questions in the old mailbag for Mr. Carl? Well, we've done a – Well, here's a good one. Question for Mr. Carl. Now that you are 42 years old, have you had a prostate exam? Oh, that's a very good question. That is a good question.

I know you like that question but i will field this one and the answer is i am not 42 i'm 39 years old i don't know about that i'm 39 years old it's debatable i know it's not i'll get my driver's license out i'm 39 years old so i have not have a prostate exam but maybe i will in a way you do it so this is maybe this is a little ad for my actual birthday is March 30. We are having a live podcast, a live birthday podcast on my birthday. It's at 11 o'clock at night on a Wednesday night. It's during the Melbourne Comedy Festival.

So, guys, if you want to come and see me get a live prostate exam on stage. There is no proctologist that is going to turn up at 11 o'clock at night to finger your ass. That is not happening. So we'll just get a listener to do it. What could go wrong? Text in now to Carl. Just a photo of people's fingers. Those with the biggest fingers, please, text in now.

Carl's date. Carl's date. Well, how about this instead? If some of those girls that we met at McDonald's... Oh, come on. Come on. I want whoever's doing it to be a massive truck driver style man. And then just at the point of entry, just whisper in your ear,

it's going in dry. Like a real callousy kind of finger. Ribbed for his pleasure. Surely that would be the best time for me to have a prostate exam When I'm at a live podcast and I've had a few Yeah, that's the time to do it Yeah, that's the time to do it So maybe we could organise that

We should get The people who do it could be people that you've Like knocked back from your gig over the years So they're getting a little something out of it as well And you know if they touch it right If they touch the prostate right You do a cum Really?

Straight away What? Yeah No, that's the absolute truth They do a little And you know if they touch it right, if they touch the prostate right, you do a cum. Really? Straight away. What? Yeah. No, that's the absolute truth. They do a little and you do a. Prove it. Prove it. All right, who wants to bend over?

I've got long fingers. I can get there. You do. You really do. You're saying that every time someone has a prostate exam. No. No. I said if they touch it right, you do a cum. Yeah.

Right. The world that you thought you lived in for a second. Every single person who's ever had a prostate exam has do a cum. Yeah. Right. The world that you thought you lived in for a second. Every single person who's ever had a prostate exam has done a cum. Yeah. Like, why don't you just have prostate exams at the sperm bank? Like, you just go do two things at once. This was from a Billy Connolly bit from years ago, too. He talked about it when he got to the age we had to have it done.

But his doctor... Joke thief. His doctor would check it, but then the proctologist guy, he'd check it and then held a little, you know, like a pad, an absorbent bit of material under his cock, hit the prostate the right way and out it went. That's efficient though, isn't it? Well, why wouldn't you get your prostate exam done much earlier than 40 then,

surely, if that's going to happen? It's not a pleasant thing. And they did that joke on... It sounds like a pleasant thing. Was it like a road trip film with the guy that plays Stifler? Yeah, surely, if that's going to happen. It's not a pleasant thing. And they did that joke on... It sounds like a pleasant thing. Was it like a road trip film with the guy that plays Stifler? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it wasn't Stifler, was it? It was a different film.

No, it was Sean William Scott. Yeah, it was him. Yeah, road trip, right, yeah. It's not a road trip movie. It's a movie literally called Road Trip. That happens to also be a road trip film. By the way, my dad really likes that movie for some weird reason and he thinks it's called Road Train.

He's always like, yeah, we should watch it it's called Road Train. He's always like, what did you get in that Road Train film? It's like, just listen to what you're saying. That makes no sense. There's no trains there, just like Hobart. That's funny you say that about your parents. My mum and dad, the one movie out of the last 30 years that I reckon I could say they like this movie is,

you guess, what movie would my parents like? Because I've got a really weird one as well about my parents. Weekend at Bernie's 2. No. Comedy? Is it a comedy? Yes. The Castle. No. Airplanes and Automobiles. That's not a movie.

That's not. Planes, trains Airplanes And automobiles That was an episode Of Play School Is what you were telling me You're just naming

Transports not available In Hobart You know that film? You know Bookshelves and Butterflies Does anyone know that? Anyone know that movie? The movie they like,

out of all the movies they could have liked in the last 30 years, is School of Rock. Oh, God. That's good. Weird for your parents to like it. I know. Weird for a bunch of people in their late 60s to like it. It's a nice movie, though.

Yeah. Okay, mine's weirder, because I'm always trying to send my parents, like, I'll see something at the cinema and go, wow, this is really great. You should go and see it. I know. Weird for a bunch of people in their late 60s to like it. It's a nice movie though. Yeah. Okay, mine's weirder because I'm always trying to send my parents like I'll see something at the cinema and go wow, this is really great. You should go and see it.

Dad sees like maybe three movies a year and it just always brings an insane level of criticism to it that's just you know, stuff that's not there. Yeah.

The one film in the last five years that he's seen and loved has no problems with Wog Boy 2 The Kings of Mykonos. Yeah. Oh wow. And has no problems with, Wog Boy 2, The Kings of Mykonos. And has no problems. Loves it.

And he's like, it's just good, clean, family fun that everyone can enjoy. I'm like, isn't the B-plot Vince Colosimo trying to fuck 100 chicks in a week? Oh, really? And it's like, oh, yeah. Good, clean, family fun. Yeah, he loves it.

The first word in the movie is wog Yeah So that's not But then he's like Oh it's just great Like the way they just like The way they just dish it out to the Greeks Is so funny

It's like This is like racist Yeah Like what you're saying You're treating it like a propaganda movie Yeah at the very least Your description of it is racist Yeah

What you like The bits you like out of it Yeah Yeah They The way they dish it out to the Greeks Like you mean the Greeks themselves Just going Hey of it is racist. Yeah, yeah. What you like, the bits you like out of it. Yeah, yeah. They, the way they dish it out to the Greeks, like you mean the Greeks themselves just going,

hey, what about when your mum does this? Yeah, yeah. Well, you're very lucky, we're very lucky there's an episode of the podcast this week because this is what nearly happened last week is my girlfriend does have a job

where she has access to very cheap airfare for both of us. So we haven't exploited that. But I can go on my own. I don't need to go with her. Yeah, we're aware. Thailand, yeah, we get it.

Maybe in case she got a free flight but I didn't. She signed me up to a list where I can get free flights. So I was like Well I can just go whenever I want And she's like yeah And I'm like Can I go next week She's like no

Why not Like just because I'm like Why She's like well It's not very fair I'm going to be at work And you're going to be on holiday

I'm like yeah But that's not my fault If you've got a job That you have to get to work Can I That got me these flights Yeah yeah It's not my fault That you've got a job That got me to get to work. Can I please... That got me these flights. Yeah, yeah. It's not my fault that you've got a job that got me this free flight

so that I can go on holiday. God, you're selfish. My God. Exactly. I wish they saw it your way. What are you doing? Is this an experiment to just see how long you can provoke someone into leaving you without them leaving?

What are you doing? So I i said can i go to thailand get me a flight to thailand and i'm gonna go there for a week and she's like absolutely not yeah get me no please no nothing and to be fair every time she asks you for something you've done it immediately it's like you're real good at getting around yeah i'm like i've got an idea to propose. A free flight for me to Thailand. So anyway, my friend, one of my good friends is unemployed at the moment, but he's fine. He got paid out. He's got heaps of money.

So he hasn't done anything, though. He's just lying around. And I said to my girlfriend, well, look, he's unemployed. He's probably going to get a job really soon. And you know what? He's done nothing. He's been out of work for like four or five months. He's got plenty of money,

but he's got nothing to show for those four or five months. How about this? I'll take him to Thailand, you know, just so he's got a story out of it. You know, he's been doing nothing, stuck around. Anyway, I worked for a long time on that story, and we eventually got to the point where my girlfriend said, okay, look, if you're doing it for him,

and I'm like, absolutely. This is amazing. So she said, okay, okay, we'll do it. I'll get your flight sorted and you can go. And I'm like, I can't believe. I can't believe you still have a car. Yeah. I just cannot believe this.

I know. And then I went to my mate and went, we've done it. And he's like, oh, great, I get a free flight. I'm like, oh, I don't think I've told you that part of the story properly. You do not get a free flight. But I do, so let's go. Now, let me tell you what January Tommy is going to say in response to this story. Fantastic.

You work very hard. You're a pillar of the comedy community in Melbourne. You work hard year round. You deserve a break And yeah you're just in this circumstance Where your girlfriend has this job You know take advantage of it Why shouldn't you?

Why should he get a free flight? That's what I'd be saying in January Thank you Do you want to know what I'm going to say right now in December? Fucking kill yourself What here or in Thailand? Well it's free in Thailand. I've got to hook up with someone that's got free funeral services over there.

Just call your girlfriend on reverse charges first. Propose to her. The bottom line was my friend then goes, well, I'm absolutely not going to do that. I thought we were getting a good deal. I looked up the deal. It was $1,200 one way because basically I was saying, we're right to go.

Let's go tomorrow. And he's like, well, it's $1,200 to go right now, so I'm absolutely not going. So then I'm sort of like, okay, so can I still go myself? You didn't. Apparently not. No, of course not. No, that's a big no. I'm like... Okay, so can I still go myself? You didn't. You didn't. Apparently not. No, of course not.

No, that's a big no. Why? Why is it a big no? Or it's a flight to... We're breaking up. Or... You can't just go... What, now?

Would you leave tomorrow? No, no. Would you skip Christmas? No, no, no. It was a week ago. It was a week ago. It was a week ago. Yeah.

Well, you can't... You would... That's not a... You can't go by yourself on a holiday? No, I have done that. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Went away for three months.

Had to find myself. Oh, just three months. Oh, okay. That was a while ago. I did a lot of holidaying by myself. Yeah, I just realised. My marriage broke up. Fucking idiot.

You've had quite a holiday from your car. And now that I'm in a relationship, I holiday with her. That's what you do when you're in a relationship. Yeah, but also the other side of this story that listeners might not know, you've done that a lot in the last couple of years. You've gone on a lot of holidays without her. How many in the last year? You've used that up.

You've done like three or something in the last two years. Okay, sure. I have. Two with you. Yeah. One or last two years. Okay, sure. I have. Two with you. Yeah. One or two with you. Sure. Yeah.

Are you starting to see the sense in what you're saying now? This might be the first time I've ever been in a discussion with you where I'm on the opposite side and you're making a concession to maybe seeing the other side of the argument. It's retarded. But there's one thing about going. I didn't go. I didn't go. I didn't go.

Yeah, because she wouldn't let you. If it was up to you, you'd be there right now. Yeah. Honestly, I... I would have gotten a call at fucking midnight going, by the way, we've got to go do four podcasts now in the next hour before I go to Thailand. I've basically not had a holiday in, I don't know,

three or four years. And now that I have a girlfriend, I'm going on a holiday and I realise because I have someone to go on a holiday with, you don't go, three or four years and now that I have a girlfriend I'm going on a holiday and I realise because I have someone to go on a holiday with, you don't go on a holiday on your own unless you're a fucking idiot. Or you're doing something really dodgy. Yeah, yeah.

Like going to Thailand McDonald's and bickering a tiger. But it's different. When you're in a relationship, it's a holiday. When you're single, it's travelling. I'm seeing worlds. I'm finding myself. Yeah. I'm exploring horizons I didn't know about, like Thailand.

Like that prostate I've heard so much about. If you go with a friend, it's fine. If you go by yourself, regardless of what you do, it looks Dutch. Oh, yeah, you can holiday without your partner. I think that's fine. But if you're in a relationship and then you're just going on your own, that's... Because you've done that a couple of times. It just doesn't sit well. You've done that a couple of times,

Carl. You've gone to Thailand solo. I've done it once. Right. I love thinking about you on that holiday where you're like, because when you're staying in a place, you sort of see the same people around a little bit. I love the image of just people sitting in the restaurant at breakfast and just you're there by yourself reading the paper and other people going, what is his deal?

Like, what is going on with this guy? We all know he's not reading the paper. He's got his laptop out, he's on Facebook. He wouldn't even know he's out of the country. What's the Thailand grinder? Is Geoblocker going so he can stream open Slather? 7.30, Foxtel. Check it out.

I went a year ago. That's the trip I did. Last year when we did the Perth live show, I flew out of Perth. I went to Thailand. I went there by myself. I went there on a writing trip because, you know,

that's true. I get this point. It's true. So I would get up every morning. I was staying in a place. I'd get up. I'd go for a run. I'd come back, have a shower, have breakfast.

Then I would go to a cafe. I'd bring my laptop and I would set myself like four hours of writing every day. And so because you're sitting in a cafe, you're getting your free Wi-Fi and whatever. So I would go, oh, you better have to, you know, you sort of have to buy stuff. You don't want to sit at a cafe and suck up their Wi-Fi and whatever.

So you have to keep, you know, you buy some breakfast, you buy something to eat, oh, I'll buy a few beers. Suck up their Wi-Fi. Yeah, free Wi-Fi. Depletable resource. So it sort of turned into me going to a cafe every day and going, oh, well, I've already had breakfast, so I'll just have a beer or two. And then it just ended up with me drinking for four hours on the laptop

and going, oh, yeah, I'm still writing jokes. And so I ended up coming back. And I was still writing, but I came back and then looked at all the jokes when I came back. I'd written like ten days worth of jokes. But then realised I'd been drinking for most of it and got back. Didn't use one single joke. Well, that's what I was going to say. Because the product of that writing

trip was you doing a comedy festival show where you had other comedians just come in and yell at you and did maybe four jokes of your own across the whole gig. That's not true. What part of that is not true? It started off with 80 jokes, 80 of 100 jokes, between 80 and 100 jokes and then the more people hung shit on me

and I hung shit on them, it turned into the final show ended up being about four jokes. But there was 80 jokes. There was 80 jokes. the first couple of nights those four that you picked I mean that is talk about separating

the wheat from the chaff yeah it's got high quality stuff yeah they were pretty good they were pretty good so yeah so now I don't have the advantage of

the Thailand writing trips I'm just going to have to do it in my own house which is funnily we had cafes with wifi here and I really I'm trying to

figure out because I've got my writing implement here for my new show got it with me

there you go it doesn't need wifi because I'm writing in a book Harley's holding up a piece

of toilet paper why do you need wifi to write your jokes because no you just

need word you just open up word and you're typing you don't need wifi that's open up word and you're typing. You don't need Wi-Fi. That's what you need when you're just

shit canning your mates on Facebook. No, it's four hours writing, four hours of shit canning. Yeah, you've got to reward yourself. Hey, you're just waiting

for God to walk through that cafe and just drop a bit of sweet inspiration on you, you know. Yeah, but I'm a joke writer. You're a bloody storyteller. You just walk into traffic

and go, what's up with cars? Yeah, you see a moth writer. You're a bloody storyteller. You just walk into traffic and go, what's up with cars? Yeah, you see a moth and go, they're funny. What's the deal with Wi-Fi? Let's see, if I've got 80 jokes, I need 80 pieces of thing. I need 80 subject matters.

I need 80 something to write about. Have you still got any, have you got the documents with the drunk jokes that you wrote? Yes. You've got to put some of them out. Have you got them there? Can you find it?

Yeah. I think my laptop's about to die. Oh, yeah. It is on here. Yeah, it's been sucking up all the Wi-Fi. Hey, Carl, I've never explicitly said this to you, but by the way, in this house, please, the Wi-Fi is on me. It's as much as you want.

If you could drink a couple of beers out of the fridge, that'd be good. Can I come around and write my festival show here? Oh, here we go. I found it. I found it. All right. All right. I've got a file called Thailand Goals.

Yeah. This will be good. Thailand Goals. Number one be good. Thailand Goals, number one, move there forever, eventually. My goal was to write 320 jokes in Thailand. I don't think I've ever written that many jokes.

How did you arrive at that number? Yeah, 320. I'll tell you on my Thailand Goals Word document. Eight days, 40 jokes per day. 320. Easy. That didn't happen.

Oh, God. Here we go. Is this what this podcast really is? Me reading out jokes that don't work? Yeah. It's great. Oh, man. I don't even care about the podcast right now.

I just care about it in life. I want to hear that. Merry Christmas. Come on, do you want to get another look in on Australia's best dad jokes or not? What do you got? But this is the time of year we start saying to people, come and see our comedy festival shows. This is the opposite of an ad for my comedy festival show.

This is me reading out jokes that don't work, that don't make any sense. Yes. Okay, it's Bob-omb time. Here we go. We know. Like, we know what's happening. I want people at home to know this. I want people to know.

I want people at home to know, if you come to my festival show next year, this is exactly the jokes you'll hear. Edit it that way, dummy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some highlights. Carl Chandler doing some highlighted material for his upcoming comedy festival show.

Here are some of Carl Chandler's best jokes. No. No. Carl Chandler's favourite of his material that he's written. These are things that will not be in my show. Last year, because that show's over. But they will be in next year. No.

Want to hear some gold? No. I cannot stress enough. Oh, wow. Chandler's roasting on an open fire. Coming up, a tight bar. Get some Liquin House and put it in there. All right.

All right. All right. Here we go. Here's a joke. Here's a joke I wrote on Tuesday, November the 4th, 2015, with the help, 2014, with the help of a lot of free Wi-Fi on the island of Phi Phi. How many beers deep are you at this point, do you reckon? Well, this is joke number five on the day, so...

Okay. How many beers deep are you at this point do you reckon? Well this is joke number five on the day So Okay Here we go This is a longer one So here we go I think flags are weird

Cut it there that's great Cut it there that's great What a set up I think flags are weird Most of the time when you see your country's flag You're in that country you're in that country. You're in that country. So really, they exist to remind you where you are.

The main reason those flags are there are for the small percentage of people who suddenly go, wait a minute, where the hell am I? Sweden? China? Antarctica? Oh, wait, I'm in Australia. Thank goodness I decided to hang around this school assembly. 9.45, Victoria Hotel. Let me take a guess,

knowing a little bit about how you write your jokes, let me take a guess as to what was flapping in the breeze out in front of this cafe that you were in. It was all those Tibetan flags all around the cafe. He just finished in a Reclaim Australia rally. What was joke number one of the day? Gee, Wi-Fi's good. All around the cafe. He just finished in a Reclaim Australia rally. He liked flags. What was joke number one of the day? Gee, Wi-Fi is good.

What was joke number one on every day? Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty good. You're right. They are weird. It's not bad. And it's January Tommy talking about that. No, no, that's just my natural kindness shining through there.

Oh, okay. Yeah, one more. One more? Yeah, one more. All right. This is from, oh, this is a week later, so you can see my skills have been sharpened up plenty. Have you got any naughty jokes in there, Carl? I'm not going to go, there's actually a heap in there.

There's just a heap of shit. So I can't go through all of them. Okay. All right. Flag joke number two. No, no. This is, this is. Stray dogs are weird.

It just reminds you. Spicy peanuts are weird. Oh, me face is swollen. Oh, no. I'm going to find something better. No. No, go bottom dollar. Give us your worst. Yeah, go really bad. Come on, this is a. Give us your worst.

Yeah, go really bad. Come on, this is a safe space, Carl. There's all jokes aside. There's enough context. You know, we all get it. We've all been there. All right. Okay.

All right, for Carl's opening joke of his new festival. Welcome back to the 2016 Melbourne International Comedy Festival Gala. Please welcome to the stage. Hey, guys, thanks for having me Comedy Festival Gala. Please welcome to the stage. Hey, guys. Thanks for having me at the gala. I like to wear sunglasses on the top of my head so that people don't notice when my hair is hung over. Oh, no.

Why wouldn't that make it in? That's a great joke. 9.45 at the Victoria Hotel. Check it out. Oh, guys, my laptop just went flat. That is really weird to me. I could see it had 80% battery before you started reading it. No, no, no.

Your computer just killed itself. Just sucking the Wi-Fi too much. If this is what you're going to use me for, I'm out of here. Like I said, 100%, this is like at the end of a show where they go, none of the pets were, no animals were harmed in the making of this show. None of these jokes were used in the making of my actual show. Yeah, well, we were just harmed in the making of that. Guys, I think we should probably wrap it up there

for this edition of The Little Dumb Dumb Club. Harley, Brian, Ben, Lomas, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you. You guys have stuff coming up that you'd like to plug, all the festivals. Oh, Harley's got his notebook there. Let me read out of it. How about that?

Here we go. You read out of it. He hugged that very close to his chest. I'll read out of mine. This is the page one of my new show, Smell the Penguins. Oh, that's enough. Fucking hell. Smell the Penguins?

How many beers in was that one? Here we go. First one. Life advice. Shut up, Flagsy. This is, I can't pay my taxes, but I know there's over 100 different kinds of pasta. Comedy go!

Comedy! Guys, don't go to any festival shows this year. Stay home. Welcome back to Sovereign Hill. We're just waiting for gold. So, yeah, listeners in Queensland can see me at the Woodford Folk Festival coming up and then pretty much all the major festivals next year. And it's called Smell the Penguins.

It's called Smell the Penguins, that's right. Cool. What have you got? Melbourne International Comedy Festival, open for inspection. Tickets are on sale now. Well, I'm glad you led with... Your show's called Open for Inspection.

The same first word, open, as your very successful TV show, Open Slithers. Yes, it was. It went very successful. The ratings were huge. I look forward to coming back next year there you go

I did it for you Lomas is actually putting a noose around his neck right at the moment it's okay I'm okay oh Christ

that noose is open for inspection you stuck your head right through it no we should have finished earlier. We've got all our stuff on sale. What have we got? Ballarat.

We've got... Ballarat. First up, we've got Ballarat. So come to Ballarat. We're doing that very soon. We're doing it in January. January 23. Brisbane's on sale.

Adelaide's on sale. All of Melbourne is on sale. My comedy festival show, Little Golden Dasolo,'s on sale all of Melbourne is on sale my comedy festival show Little Golden Dasolo is on sale all the links and all that stuff is online now at littledumbdumbclub.com so

but let's go through it specifically so go to Ballarat that's on sale first then we go to Adelaide so we just announced that it's on a

Saturday afternoon so go to that we've got Brisbane I think that's March 20 yep then like we said we've got season passes for Melbourne we've got the season passes for Melbourne.

We've got four live podcasts are on sale. So if you get a season pass, that's for all four of them, plus you get the drunk cast for free. Separate to that, we've got my birthday show on March 30. That's not part of the season pass. So go and get all of that. That's all on our website now. You've got your festival show.

We've got my festival show. I don't think that's quite on sale, but it must be any second now. And it's called Carl Chandler Defends His Title as World's Greatest and Best Comedian. If you're lucky, you might hear some of those jokes you just heard then again. But apart from that, we've got T-shirts on sale. Man, we're selling it. We've got to reprint again. We're selling out of the I'm aware of

little Dunlop Club t-shirt man if you're hearing this straight away you're just before Christmas so you know go and buy yourself

some of these tickets Merry Christmas to all the listeners as well thanks for another great year it's always awesome hearing from you guys we get more listeners

every year so thanks for everyone that got on board in 2015 have a safe Christmas feel free to if you enjoyed this episode, just whip it out when you're, you know, after you've

unwrapped the presents with the family, get them to listen to it. Yeah, if you want to do Merry Christmas to us, share it around. Give us a retweet or a review on iTunes or just hit up mates and say, hey, look, if you're into something that you'll never hear on the radio because there's way too many references to dumb cunts and suicide,

then, you know, share. I think there's a little more than just references to dumb cunts. You actually have them as your guests. And hosts. Alright guys, that's it. Thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you later mates.