The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 282 - Nick Cody & Dilruk Jayasinha
Episode Date: March 2, 2016The Best Podcast, The Maryborough Advertiser and Mature Age Students. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
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This episode of Little Dumb Dumb Club is brought to you by Yalla Chocolate Mousse.
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Hey guys, we've got live shows coming up March the 20th in Brisbane.
Two live podcasts, one of which is sold out,
the other of which is very nearly sold out,
and a split bill stand-up show.
Still some tickets left to that.
It's going to be a huge afternoon.
Big shout-out to everyone who's doing the big trip on the day.
Big triple, I mean.
Triple shows.
Awesome.
Dan, we're off to Melbourne.
We're off to wonderful Melbourne.
Can't wait to see what it's like.
During the Comedy Festival, four afternoon shows on Sundays.
We've got some awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome guests locked in already.
It's going to be an absolutely star-studded line-up all festival for us.
Plus, we've got the 40th birthday show on March the 30th, Wednesday, March the 30th
at 11 o'clock.
If you're a late-nighter, please come along to that. It's going to be... Your 40th birthday, by the way. You're just saying the 30th, Wednesday March the 30th at 11 o'clock. If you're a late nighter, please come along to that. It's going to be
Your 40th birthday by the way. You're just
saying the 40th birthday. There might be
a new listener to this going, wow this show's 40?
Yeah.
I love the
you know, listen to the podcast in the 70s
We're doing our big show to celebrate
our 40th episode.
So that's going to be awesome. It's going to be
a little bit, if I had to pick an Austrian musician
to describe how it's going to go, I think it might be Andre Iberieto.
Very good.
We've also got the drunk cast on the final night of the festival.
You get into that for free with any ticket from any of the other shows.
We've got season passes still on sale, all of that stuff,
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We've only got a few of them left.
We've literally got a handful.
I think we're down to literally one handful of T-shirts left.
Wow.
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Cool.
So get on to all that stuff, guys.
It's all at littledumbdumbclub.com.
Plus we've got our solo shows in the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.
Oh, please come along to them.
They're heaps of fun.
Yeah, they're going to be great.
So thanks for listening. Enjoy this episode
with Nick Cody and Dilwook Jai Singer and we'll see you next
time.
Hey, mates.
Welcome once again into
another edition of the Little Dumb Dumb
Club, Australia's favourite podcast.
Thank you very much for joining us.
Wow.
Yeah, it's official.
It just came through this week.
Okay.
My name is Tommy Daslow.
Sitting opposite me, the other half of the best podcast of all time, Carl Chandler.
G'day, Dickhead.
Well, we got upgraded within the sentence.
Again, it just came through as I was speaking.
Where did it come through from?
A letter from the Queen.
The Queen?
Yeah, the Queen of Content.
I didn't know the Queen.
Did the Queen work for iTunes in any way or is this how that works?
She sort of controls everything, doesn't she?
Like British iTunes is kind of under her control, right?
So we got a telegram from the Queen saying we've got the best podcast in the world or
just in Australia?
In the world?
Well, no.
I got two.
So I was midway through reading the Australia one and then just like hot off the presses.
Because those telegrams just come in willy-nilly, don't they? They were such a fan of how well I read out the best in Australia one and then just like hot off the presses. Yeah. Because those telegrams just come in
willy nilly, don't they?
They were such a fan
of how well I read out
the best in Australia one
that they were like,
we've got to take these boys
to the next level.
They're finally ready
to cross over.
How quick does it take
to send out a telegram,
by the way?
Oh, here's another one.
You're fixating on the wrong
part of this story.
Anyway, I think we've got
a hot alert.
Something's just come through.
A new telegram for you, sir.
Yeah, I'll take that, yeah.
This is the worst podcast again now.
Back to you.
Bye.
Wow, I wish we hadn't got that third one for many reasons.
Oh, Toby.
Did the Queen's telegram say,
Hey, guys, you've been going for a few years,
but it feels like 100?
Congratulations on the big one-double-zero.
I'll take that one
I even fucked up a word
You pronounced it telegram
Well let's introduce our guests
First of all you know him from
On the Front Lines of the Australian Defence Force
It's Nick Cody, very special guest
Thanks for joining us
We're also doing something that we don't normally do on the show
This week, we've got a young man out there
Who's a big big fan of the show
He's going in for some important surgery
soon and just in case he doesn't
make it. Lap band?
Did you say lap dance?
I've got my lap
dance surgery. It's like while you're getting
operated on, some chick's taking a top off
No, no, no. It's more like you need surgery
to make lap dancers want to dance for you
Please welcome back Dilruk Jai Singh a top off. No, no, no. It's more like you need surgery to make lap dancers want to dance for you.
Please welcome back Dilruk Jaising. Hey!
Thank you for having me, friends. It's good to be back.
Man, I remember Dilruk's first episode.
I was the other guest as well. Yes.
It's good to see a lot has changed.
I was on that one too. I remember that.
Oh, you boys were there as well.
No, it's just great to see
after Dil did all that weight loss sort of stuff on previous episodes,
just to see him waste away now.
Yeah.
No, I'm celebrating the victory that I had of Operation Dumb Cuntrop.
Yeah, the celebration's still going.
Big celebration's still going.
Four months of celebrating and I am back to square one.
Man, is yours?
Is there a square zero?
Because I reckon you're at that.
Did you just get a telegram from the Queen from clocking a hundred tons?
What I was going to say at the top was we were trying
to arrange for me to be on the episode
during January, just to
see if you can hold off from
having a go at me during an episode.
The whole idea of Nice January, the way I
originally intended it, was that we would both try and do it for the whole month, Carl, and then the final idea of Nice January, the way I originally intended it,
was that we would both try and do it for the whole month, Carl,
and then the final episode of the month we would have Dilwook on just to really test how far we had come.
Right.
Okay, well, let's unload now.
Instead of a telegram, how about you get a fax or a fats?
Yes.
He'd been sitting on that for the last minute going,
how do I bring this back to facts and fats?
That is inside the comedian's studio.
Is it?
Yeah.
It's just outside it, really.
It's in the skip outside.
You're one of those actors at the back asking a question,
how do I get famous?
It's my first day in the comedian's studio. Yeah, right. Not a fax, a fat. How do I get famous? It's my first day in the comedian studio.
Not a fax, a
fax. Jesus Christ.
Adele prefers Eat Mail.
What does SMS stand for?
Oh, here we go. This is a challenge.
Submarine sandwich.
Very good.
With mayonnaise in the middle.
I would go for so much spaghetti.
Suicide man, suicide.
Suicide man, seriously.
Stop meat, sir.
Yeah.
That's you when you're finally full and you've just lost the ability to speak properly.
Stop meat, sir.
Stop meat, sir.
But how have you been going?
Because it has been a while since we checked in with you with the whole challenge.
Oh, no, we did the follow-up weigh-in at the live show
when I went down to 60 kilos.
That's more harm than good.
Let's have a flashback.
So originally it was like you were what to start with?
What did you weigh to start with
when you had your first little weight challenge on our show?
I weighed what I weigh today, which was like 123.
123, and you went down to 110 or so?
Went down to 110, 111, something like that, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And now you're back up to sweating five minutes into Went down to 110, 111, something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And now you're back up to sweating five minutes into a podcast.
Well, it's a hot day.
It is warm.
It's a warm day, Carl.
Is it?
Yes, it is.
And I'm in jeans.
Like, you know how when I was on the winter episodes,
I was in shorts?
In summer, I come in jeans.
It's what I do.
The winter episodes.
That's how everyone breaks up their podcast listening, by seasons.
Yeah.
Dil's question, remember six months ago what I was wearing?
Come on, guys, you've got an audio recording of it.
That was the one that went on channel. Did I sound like my calves were covered?
Who were it better, Dil or this mannequin in the window of High and Mighty?
Dil or the Ringling
Brothers?
Jesus Christ.
It's good to be back.
It is definitely good to be back.
I was going to save this up. You know what? Let's do it.
Let's do it. I was going to save this up.
But I did get a...
There's some people out there with
access to my phone number.
There are lists out there.
Just a few.
Yeah, just a few of them.
I did get a text message a couple of weeks ago that I've been saving.
Let's bust it out now.
Now, Dil, it was about Dil Rook, and the message was...
It's always nice when people from Dum Dum keep you guys updated.
Even last night I was doing a gig and someone tweeted at you guys going,
fuck, he's not as fat as I thought he'd be.
And then you go, what did you say?
Man, that's as close as a compliment you're going to get on this show.
I said, don't worry, I'm sure he's had three meals since you took this photo.
But also it's like, you know, he's sitting down,
like he's in the seat looking up at you.
It's like, I don't know how big he was expecting you to be.
Yeah.
If he's surprised by what he saw.
And was he like, in the fence, you fat cunt?
Yeah.
Was he in the back row?
Because, you know, you are pretty big.
I think he's wrong.
Things may look big larger in mirrors.
Yeah.
So he's just looking at me from like a magnifying glass.
So this is the text I got from a listener,
from someone I don't know.
Last night during a function at work,
my friend complained about the entertainer
who asked for a second entree.
Now, come on, guys.
It could be anyone.
I really shouldn't have been surprised
when I look over to her table and see Dilruk sitting there.
Classic disgusting fat fuck.
That is far from the truth.
No, no, no, no, no.
It was a fourth.
He asked for a second main.
I remember the thing.
No, he said that entire tray of food.
He didn't say entree.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
That is unfair.
No, no, hang on.
Maybe this is spelt wrong.
The entertainer asked for a second entrance.
A bigger one he could fit through.
He said, just a second.
I need to go hose myself down because I'm sweating from the eat.
I greased myself up and I still couldn't fit through the first entry.
No.
What happened?
There was a freaking...
Cody, you can probably go for a walk if you want to.
Yeah, I know.
Going to be a little bit preoccupied here.
I think the entree was like chicken,
and I said, can I instead get the chicken,
can I get the meat or something like that,
as in the ribs or some shit like that.
I think that's all it was.
Oh, you wanted to swap it.
I just wanted to swap it.
Okay.
Unless that's what she thought I was asking for a second one.
Mr. Jai Singer, can I remind you that you're underage?
Wait a second. I just remembered for a second one. Mr. Jai Singer, can I remind you that you're under on? Wait a second.
I just remembered there was a pumpkin soup beforehand.
You did swear on the Koran before, whatever it is you subscribe to.
This is sort of like a guy saying, I didn't murder this guy.
I promise I didn't.
And it's like, sir, you have killed 10 other people.
It's like, well, you've got form.
You've got form.
Everything points towards.
You're Stephen Avery at this point.
No, it's not unlike me to ask for a second entree.
That's for sure.
But in this particular instance,
I feel like I would have played it safe.
I wouldn't have dared to ask for a second entree.
But I think I had a soup beforehand
that I assumed was not the entree.
What do you count soup as?
Soup.
Right, so there's soup and entree.
Yeah.
Right, okay.
Doesn't it go that way?
Doesn't it go entree, soup, then main course, and then... Yeah, ent there's soup and entree Yeah Right, okay That's why Where does it go? Entree, soup, then main course
And then
Yeah, entree, soup
This is when I'm on a diet
Entree, soup, brunch, snacks
Something to tide me over
Quick dessert, cheese platter
Yeah, early dessert
Chicken wings to close it all off
Now it's off to this function where I get dinner.
Now time to get out of bed.
How was the food though?
What did you have for main?
What was my main?
I don't recall.
Oh, no, there was a really like a good seafood main I think
and I got given – oh, there was a fish main
and I got given another dry chicken
thing. Oh how's that though when you do that thing where you're at a
function and you're on the table
and it goes steak, chicken
steak, chicken. That sucks
why don't you get an option?
It's such a gamble
you see someone else on the other side of the table
they start to plate you up and you very quickly just work out
the maths and go fuck pork chicken
pork chicken, fuck fuck I'm going to get pork, fuck, I want chicken.
You start negotiating with people sitting next to you.
Yeah, well, I was lucky because
I was at the table with the
band and the photographers and stuff of the
event and during the entree
there was no one else at the table.
It was just me. So maybe that's what I looked even more sus.
That's a lie.
So now I can see why this SMS came through
What's the closest you've ever been?
How fast have you ever said the sentence
After someone's got a meal put in front of them
Are you going to finish that?
Ask the chef
Is he going to finish that?
As the oven opens
Are you going to finish that?
What were you?
What was the fact were you?
Just at the butcher shop
As the chef is collecting the meal in the morning Hey man, check with that guy Is he going to finish that? What were you? What was the fact? She's at the butcher shop as the chef is collecting the meat in the morning.
Hey, man, check with that guy who's going to finish.
No, as a cow gives birth.
Oh, Veal, you beauty.
Were you doing a gig there or were you just like?
No, I just showed up to eat there for me.
What do you think?
I don't know.
The entertainer. His entertainment is he eats two entrees yeah the incredible bottomless
man everyone's just gathered around you
no no I was
doing comedy at this thing
okay well hey here's
a little bit of news from this week
you know there's sometimes where
there's little moments in your career where you
sort of think oh you know this is the next step up
and, you know, maybe I've made it now.
Maybe I can call myself a professional comedian.
I got a phone call yesterday from the Maribor advertiser
asking for an interview.
Oh, he's made it.
Local boy done good.
Ten years into comedy.
I'm going to turn up on page 13 of the Maribor advertiser.
Do you have to – is there a photographer coming out to meet you?
No.
Because I've got a Werribee one.
Oh, really?
Like four, yeah,
a few years back
because it was like,
you know,
the only comic
from a particular place.
Yep.
And it's that like,
hold the microphone
and stand with the
welcome to Werribee sign
in the background.
You know what I mean?
Just all of the,
and pull a face
and be in a straight jacket.
You know?
Yeah, no,
I'm looking forward to it.
No, there's no way they're sending a photographer two hours to Melbourne.
So it's like just whatever you've got lying around,
just take a selfie of yourself.
It's going to be better than what our photographer is, so that's fine.
Just do that.
Can you Photoshop something from Maribor behind you?
Oh, yeah.
Or like photograph Sunshine Johnson in the background.
I'll get a publicity shot and I'll put the Westgate behind me.
Oh, nice.
What do you think?
Yeah, yeah.
What's something better I can put behind me?
Because I've got to supply the photo.
I can do whatever I want.
So I can etch myself a professional thing.
I'll just put something in the background.
Send the photo that you sent me that we brought up in the second to last Adelaide episode
of you on the toilet.
Oh.
See if that gets a run in.
Yeah, that'll get through.
Mary Boroughoy done good
He done a number two
Oh, that looks like a city toilet
That looks inside
Sell out
Sell out
He's become all la-di-da
Oh, wow
Yeah, so no, I'm looking forward to that
Have a picture of little Tommy in the background.
Well, yeah, maybe I can do that.
Yeah, get me in.
We've got photos.
What are you talking about?
We've got professional photos done of us at the Westgate.
Yeah, yes.
You send one of them, just crop me out.
I don't mind.
Put Photoshop Sunshine Johnson's head onto my body in the photos of the two of us.
I don't have any pictures of Sunshine Johnson.
Oh, okay.
Well, send in listeners from Mariborough.
He's a crazy person from Mary Barra.
Yeah.
We've talked about
sunshine Johnson for
many years.
Put,
um,
put like,
just put a second one
of your head on my
body.
So it's like you and
a smaller you walking
along at the West
Coast shop yourself
next to like the
basketball player.
What's his name?
Matthew Delved over
whatever.
Yeah.
In calves.
We're both winners.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just put my head on
LeBron's body.
Actually, you know what?
We've been trying to...
I don't know if we've said this on the show,
but we did try a little bit to get Delivered over on this podcast.
You should treat this interview with the advertiser like a diss track
and just put him on blast and see if it gets back to him.
Call him out.
Call him out for not coming on the podcast in the press.
Here's the thing.
I will not do that because already just, you know,
because to be honest, they've hit me up before.
Remember our advertisers hit me up before to do like an interview
or something and I said, and I sort of forgot about this,
but when they rang me they said, we'd like to do an interview.
Now, I know you said last time, absolutely not.
Wait, they rang you?
Yeah.
How'd they get your number?
Well, they were at a dinner the other night
and they saw someone hoovering up all the entrees.
So, yeah, look, I think me doing an interview,
it sort of worries me because it's sort of popping my head up in Maribor
and sort of like, you know, I don't really go back there.
So I sort of go, putting in the paper,
check out this guy who thinks he's really funny.
So, like, if I go back to Maribor.
You're not a fucking Whitey Bulger.
You're not on the fucking lam.
What are you doing?
They thought I've been dead for 15 years.
I'm looking at Dill and there's a parody I could do of Whitey Bulger,
but I don't feel good about it.
I don't know this reference.
It feels a little bit basketball team if you know what I'm saying.
Oh, no, there was the movie made about him called Black Mass.
It feels a little bit basketball team if you know what I'm saying. Oh, no, there was the movie made about him called Black Mass.
Maybe we could just run a transcript of this in the Mirror Bar Advertiser.
That would go very well.
Can you repeat what you were saying to me about it last night?
Because you were sort of saying, what was it like?
It's sort of like by them getting onto you now, 10 years.
It's like you were saying it's like it's taken them 10 years.
I've been doing comedy 10 years.
Yeah.
It's only now that they're asking me to do this interview.
Yeah.
It's like, no, they've worked it out and they've gone.
They've been watching you and they're like, well, he's clearly peaked.
Let's get him now while the getting's good.
Yeah.
There's no point waiting another 10 years because nothing's happening from now.
This is red hot right now.
Yeah, yeah.
Five years from now, he probably won't even have a podcast.
Do it.
Call out Della Vadova.
Do it.
No, but honestly, just by putting myself, my head on the chopping block,
sort of going, oh, I'm a comedian.
If I go back there, I'm already thinking I'll get bashed.
If I start calling out national heroes,
I'm going to get absolutely strung up from a tree.
Because I know people that bash strangers always read the paper.
Yeah.
Well, there's very little to do in Maryborough.
I was going to say, what kind of influence does the old print media still have over the
denizens of Maryborough?
Yeah, yeah.
Well, you've never gigged in Maryborough yet, have you?
No.
Do you reckon this would lead to a gig going, let's bring him back, the homecoming show?
Yeah, see, I don't want to do it.
I'm very scared. Like, we've talked about this on the show before, the homecoming show. I don't want to do it. I'm very scared.
We've talked about this on the show before, but
doing a show in Maryborough, doing a
tour, us
all getting people from Melbourne, driving up
to Maryborough, I did the logistics, I did
the numbers, I rang bus companies and whatever, and it just
cost crazy amounts.
We would have to charge, like if we got a
bus full of people, we'd have to charge like
$90 a ticket to cover the
bus rent. Chandler also knows the level of
security he'd need in Maryborough.
There'd be heaps of dudes like Buscemi
and fucking Billy Madison just with his
name on a list.
And a rifle. You know, we were just looking up
like Budget and Hertz and Avis.
Let's see if we can rent the Popemobile for you
to drive down the main street of Maryborough.
Just bullets ricocheting off the side of it.
The dumb cunt mobile.
What scares you the most?
Why are you so worried about it?
It's not scared.
It's more of a thing though.
People sort of think, oh, if you went back there, everyone would be like, oh, awesome.
I just don't think it would be like that.
I think it would be just more disinterest than anything.
Yeah.
I think you often have a thing where you think that the way that you think
people are going to react to something is just how you would react to something.
Right.
Like everyone's going to call me a dumb cunt and make fun of me.
It's like, no, most people are just normal and they're just happy
to let people live their lives.
That's true.
I think that's more a reflection of you.
If you were in Maribor and you saw someone who went out
and became a comedian, you'd be like, look at this guy.
Look at this fucking advertising his green grocer in the paper.
This cunt thinks he's got apples.
I had a groundies with last night, mate.
Something new.
If you're not going to call out Della Vadova,
what are you going to do?
Talk about where you get your ideas from and if
you get nervous before you go on stage.
But that's the other thing. It's not like I'm
editing the article. And please do
it super soppy, like pro
Marabara. How do you feel before you go on
stage? It's like, I just think of home
and a wave of calm.
Like Kevin Hart's special where he just
goes back to his hometown and he goes,
I just take in all of Detroit with me.
I just think of the golden wattle, our emblem, our town emblem.
Do you think they'll ask you what's it like to start a career when you're 40?
What's it like being so close to a McDonald's?
Oh, no, there is a McDonald's.
No, there is one there now.
Did you have a movie theatre?
What was that?
No, you didn't have a movie theatre.
Two screens, surely. No. That's a two-screen job. No, they brought in there now. Did you have a movie theatre? What was that? No, you didn't have a movie theatre. Two screens, surely.
No.
That's a two screen job.
No, they brought in a theatre after I left, after I moved away.
They did have a drive-in.
Yeah.
But when I left, I had nothing because I think a year before I left,
they had a windy day and the drive-in screen fell over
and crushed the nursery next door.
Wow. fell over and crushed the nursery next door. So you couldn't go and see Rocky V or buy a tulip.
In terms of...
You've got to at least pepper the interview
with some Easter eggs for the listeners of the show.
Yeah.
Yeah, look, I'll try. All right, I'll sit there and I'll try and figure it out. At least pepper the interview with some Easter eggs for the listeners of the show. Yeah. Yeah.
Look, I'll try.
All right.
I'll sit there and I'll try.
I'll try and figure it out.
I've got to send in the photo, so I'll put something in there.
Is it a call in or do you send in like you type in your answers?
I think they're ringing me.
And what I also liked was when the-
Operator, connect me to Hawthorne 16.
Oh, no.
It's 043A.
Hawthorne 1-6
Oh no
It's 0-4-3-8
So
What I do like
Is when the guy rang me
He said
There's been
Editorial
Change in direction
In the Meribor advertiser
It's like
What direction
Was there
Like
How many directions
Are there
In journalism
In a town of 7000 people
Like
Yeah
How's the farming going?
Still good?
All right, cool.
What else are you going to do?
Clearly more dumb cunts is in there somewhere.
Is that possible?
What's their main industry in Maryborough?
Ice, I think.
This is good stuff.
Say this in the interview.
Largest import and export
Number one ice
Number two meth
Three drugs
Speaking of ice
You and I did a gig in Tasmania
Over the weekend
Should we talk about
Anything to do with that
Yes
Yeah
I did like that
Because we went and did
We were booked to go
And do a fun gig in Launceston
And it's a really It's actually a really fun Gig to do usually And we went and did, we were booked to go and do a fun gig in Launceston and it's a really, it's actually a really fun gig to do usually and we went and did a beer festival
there.
Yeah.
It was in the middle of the day and so that was really cool and we got to perform with
other Tasmanian comedians and, you know, everyone, you know, I guess Tasmania's got that cliche
about it.
It's a bit like Maribor.
You've got that small town sort of thing where it's like, oh, there's a lot of weirdos or
whatever it is.
But that festival was actually really awesome, I thought.
Yeah, it was great.
There was like really good high quality food there.
We had a mac and cheese pie.
Yes.
I had a pizza cone.
Jesus.
Do you have some tissues?
Dil just came.
I had an accident.
I see the future of the spirit of Tasmania and that is sinking.
Can't wait for DiCaprio to play me.
How did this iceberg get on the ship?
Fucking get off the front, mate.
It's got some big problems. front, mate. Let's go to some big problems.
Oh, man.
So, yeah, Tasmania was really great.
There was a lot of good people there.
There were some notable exceptions, I'd say.
There's some notable people.
Tommy Dussel, you did your routine.
You did 10 minutes to 10, 15 minutes of comedy. You had a little routine in there where you talk about cemeteries?
I have a bit about walking past a cemetery and I make a fleeting,
I just basically say the words zombie apocalypse.
It's just a sentence within the bit about going on a date.
Thank you.
This guy comes up to me afterwards.
I've literally just walked a stage.
This guy comes barrelling up to me and goes,
mate, I fucking love that bit you did
about the zombie apocalypse. And I'm like, well,
I wouldn't really say it's about that.
It was two words in a story
that went for 15,000 words. Yeah, it's like, I love
that fucking story you did about the.
Like, it's just a word
contained within it. So he,
I'm like, oh, yeah, thanks, man.
And he goes, you know what? I was just talking
to my old man yesterday about what I'm going to do
when the zombie apocalypse comes.
Here's my plan.
And just fucking talks me through it.
But I love the detail of the bit of –
The thing that struck out to him.
No, but the detail that he included to me of he called up his dad
to let him know that he's got a plan worked out.
Well, you know, if you have a plan, you tell your family.
You don't survive the apocalypse by yourself.
You try and help as many people as you can.
Did he give you any tips about what to do in the apocalypse?
Yeah, what other big tips?
His big thing was it kind of quickly segued from what he would do
in the zombie apocalypse to what he thinks is going to end up happening
on The Walking Dead, the TV show.
It was really seamless. I was just kind of zoning the TV show. But it was like, it was really seamless where like all of us,
like I was just kind of like zoning in and out because he,
that's why I brought it up because he had,
it was the first time I've been in front of someone where I've been like,
I reckon this person's definitely done ice.
Like he had all the, like very manic and very like kind of just.
I have to say it was a rare moment of someone acting crazy
and me leaving the situation.
Wow.
Yeah.
But yeah, like I was kind of just zoning in and out of it
and then all of a sudden I was like, oh, wait,
he's now just talking about the TV show because he thinks
that it's eventually going to...
So bloody Officer Rick and the gang, they end up in Lonnie.
Well, and spoiler alert if you do watch The Walking Dead,
but what he thinks is going to happen is eventually,
because there's just different, there's, you know,
various stages of...
Why is this a spoiler alert? Because this is not going to happen is eventually, because there's just different, there's various stages of... Why is this a spoiler alert?
Because this is not going to happen.
Spoiler alert, just in case you're thinking of going to Launceston
and asking random ice heads what's going to happen on a TV show.
I have a spoiler alert about the grand final this year.
Okay, well, you all get it So that's good
I
Yeah he reckons
He's like
Because there's
Various stages of decomposition
At a certain point
In The Walking Dead
All the zombies
Will just have like
Fully rotted away
And then everyone
Will just go
Cool no more zombies anymore
Oh wow
So look out for that
In the 2018 season
Of Walking Dead
What a spectacular
Final episode
Yeah
Was that
Were you talking About M. Night Shalaman?
That sounds like the fucking shittest ending I've ever...
How did you pronounce that?
M. Night Shalaman?
Shalaman.
Shalaman?
Yeah.
Bit of respect.
What did I say?
Shalaman.
I don't know.
Shalaman.
Shalaman.
Shalaman.
Yeah.
Yeah, the big surprise ending with that, his name's actually Smith.
But that doesn't even make sense because, like,
not everyone has become a zombie at the exact same time.
You've got people who survived four years in.
Yeah, and then you have, like, a countdown of all the other cast members
for the last zombie.
Here we go.
He's shedding.
Three, two.
So you're picking holes in Iceman's theory,
just like he picks holes in his own face
I'm not the biggest fan of zombie stuff
Your material says otherwise
Stop banging on about it for hours then
The people that go to these extreme lengths to survive
And it's like, for what? The world's shit
Wouldn't you just off yourself immediately? That's always been the message of this podcast, obviously There are people that go to these extreme lengths to survive and it's like, for what? The world's shit.
Wouldn't you just off yourself immediately?
That's always been the message of this podcast, obviously.
I mean, pretty off-brand of me to advocate suicide.
You have the same theory without zombies.
Ironically, if the apocalypse happens,
I want you guys to eat me first.
If the apocalypse happens, you'll be saying that
after the first few bites. We'll have
already started and you'll be going, come on guys.
Oh fuck, where's my arm?
Are you going to eat all of that?
It's just showing down on my leg.
I don't think there's an apocalypse long enough for us to get
through all that.
We should start now.
In Star Wars, you build a house inside me
to keep warm.
You're the Tauntaun.
Chub of a heart.
We'll put Dil on a spit over a volcano and over the centuries.
It's like that miracle, the Jewish miracle,
the candle just lit forever and ever.
There was just so much oil.
It lasted all 40 days and 40 nights.
Good reference.
It's like the other thing where people are petrified of becoming a zombie.
If you're a zombie, you don't care.
You're not walking around going,
this is a bummer that I'm like this now.
Bullshit.
Sucks.
But that's like being scared of death.
You don't know what it's like to be dead.
Exactly.
And I'm legitimately not scared of it for that reason.
Oh, really?
You just end and then you're like, well, this is a bummer that I'm not there. But I think this is a great time for a plug. Das, exactly. And I'm legitimately not scared of it for that reason. Oh, really? You just end and then you're like, well
this is a bummer that I'm not there. But I think this is a great time
for a plug. Dasolo's show.
Little Golden Zombie is on.
That makes sense because you had to deal
with mortality at a very young age. Yeah. Whereas for me
it's only in recent times when I've had relatives
start dying. On stage.
And they're doctors.
Jesus. I've only started dealing with it since I stepped on the scales this morning.
Yeah, and the scales had to deal with it too.
The scales were like, the apocalypse is happening.
Scales are trying to eat itself.
Yeah, you've never really thought about it.
Yeah, well, I started like in the last say five years
or something when yeah people my parents age have started you know clocking off once in a while and
you're like oh well yeah this is going to start happening soon yeah and um but yeah i guess once
you start accepting like our sense of humor back home has gotten really brutal like among because
mom had a uh like a very serious surgery and stuff and now all the jokes are really grim
like my mom's a muslim and dad's a buddhist and for some reason all the jokes are really grim. Like my mum's a Muslim and dad's a Buddhist
and for some reason Muslims can't have dogs
or she doesn't want to have a dog or something like that
because you can't pray or some shit.
And dad really wants to get a dog.
Dad really wants to get a dog.
And I said to dad,
this is like getting a heated discussion.
And I said to dad,
don't worry, as soon as mum dies,
we'll go to the pound and get a pup
and we'll name it mum.
Your family sounds like a gas.
By the way, I was telling you guys before the podcast,
I wanted to say this.
I was in London for a couple of weeks and on the flight home,
I was flying with Eddie Head, so it goes via Abu Dhabi.
And beforehand there's a Muslim prayer, like a travel prayer.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then throughout the journey…
Does the prayer involve like how you first help others
before you help yourself before you attend to others,
put on the gas mask?
Man, I was listening to something in my earphones,
but I didn't give a fuck.
But coming into Landy Mel, so there's this compass on the screen
at the front the whole time that shows the maps.
And as you're traveling, it'll be like, hey, Mecca is in this direction
and it's 3,000 miles away or whatever and then it'll have whatever
the nearest thing is to it.
So it'll be like, oh, Abu Dhabi, 20K that way.
But coming into land there was like Mecca, 8,000 miles that way
and in this direction, nine kilometres away, Ballarat.
Because some of us love Allah And the rest of us Love fucking
Or you can eat pizza
Hang on
Did that say Mecca
Or Maccas
To be fair
The word Allah
Is in Ballarat
Yeah
So anything that's got
The word Allah in
They have to highlight it
Yeah
Shout out to
Yella
Yella chocolate mousse Oh is Yella halal Fuck I'm out to Yella Yella Chocolate Moose
Oh, is Yella halal?
Fuck, I'm not having Yella anymore
That's for that demo of ours
You can't spell Yella without Ella
Right before you plunge your head into a bowl
Yella Akbar
Moose is great
Yeah, moose is great.
Man, it was great to have sponsorship while it happened.
Well, if they cut the sponsorship now, that's pretty controversial of them.
Yeah, yeah.
So they're going to keep it going.
Okay.
We should check if it's halal.
Would it be halal?
It's yalal.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't even know what that means. I'm not sure. I. Yeah, I don't even know what that means, so I'm not sure.
I don't.
I don't actually know what that means, so.
Here's Mirabarra coming out again.
It's just not knowing something. It's just funding terrorism.
That's all you know about it.
He's just moved to the front page of the Mirabarra.
Don't even know what they're fucking on about.
Local hero.
Yeah, warfare, Carl Chandler.
Hang on a minute.
Being racist does not make
page one of the Mirror Bar advertising.
Make that your
first question to the interviewer. Yeah, yeah.
Before I answer where I get my ideas from, what's
halal mean?
Well, because that's the other thing, because
that interview is,
I used to work for the Mirror Bar advertising.
So it's just like The guy who used to
Do the TV
Who used to type in
The TV guide
And you used to do the best thing ever
Still one of my favourite pranks
Of all time
Which is
Make up fake movies
In the guide
I talked about that
A long long time ago
On the podcast
I go back and find it
But it was basically
Yeah I would put in
I would put in fake movies
Every week
Just make up movies
Every week
With your friends names
In them
With my friends names
In them
And then make romantic movies With my. With your friends' names in them. With my friends' names in them. And then make romantic movies
with my friend and then the town
idiot. Whoever's
the most mental person in Mirabar, I put
them in a wrong place. Hang on, hang on. It's going to have to, because you're doing it.
The second most mental person.
So all that happened.
The guy in there
tampering with the TV listings. Everyone else in this
town's fucking crazy.
They're all out to get me.
Yeah, well, I'll show them in ten years.
They'll be begging to talk to me.
What if I demand that my interview goes in the TV guide?
Just in a...
So it's like formatted, like broken up at different times.
You're just checking to see what's on Channel 7 at 8.30 on Monday night.
All of a sudden there's a 10,000 word
interview with me.
No, it's like 7pm, spleen
comedy, 8pm, is a gig that
I run. 9pm, also I
do a podcast. 10pm with my friend
Tommy. Oh, that'd be great. That'd actually
be excellent. 9.45, my best
friend.
Let's get back on this. This is something we haven't really
talked about yet and I think it's very, very overdue. Tommy Daslow's back at school. He's gone back to this. This is something we haven't really talked about yet. And I think it's very, very overdue.
Tommy Daslow is back at school.
Yeah.
He's gone back to school.
Back in the habit.
So you're –
Tommy Act 2, back in the habit.
So you're back at school after what, 10-year absence?
I went in 2005 and a little bit of 2006.
So yeah, 10 years.
10 years.
You're 10 gap years and now you're back at school.
10 gap years.
Just went around Europe.
Just really found myself.
Just went around the open mics in Melbourne for 10 years.
Did you find yourself in the open mic scene?
Yeah, there's a big gap in my life experience and my education
and my mental well-being.
Now I've returned.
Yeah, and I don't think i've told you this yet but um first day like we had an orientation day about a month
ago and first day i'm sort of sitting there like kind of waiting to go into this lecture theater
to have our big kind of introductory thing and uh this girl comes up and she goes hey i've seen you
before and i'm like oh when she's like oh at a gig I'm like oh like what at like a pub gig or like
one of my shows and she goes no no that
that thing that you do it was like a thing with like you
and four other men on stage
you're all just like yelling at each other
oh the little dum dum club
four other men
and yelling at each other
that's a great TV guide description
yes yes
Tommy and four other men yelling at each other on stage.
I rate it.
Man, is it too late to change our festival guide synopsis?
Actually, that's the second time I've heard that.
Someone who I'm friends with was like, I'm going to give you a podcast to go.
I'm like, oh, cool.
And then she started listening and like half an hour later she was like,
are they all like this?
And I'm like, like what?
And she's like, four of you just screaming at each other.
Like it's full on. You stupid bitch. and she was like, are they all like this? And I'm like, like what? And she's like, four of you just screaming at each other.
Like it's full on.
You stupid bitch.
I'm screaming at you now.
I'm going to make a joke at you and then I'm going to make four different jokes
that are equally as brutal.
That's going to go for seven minutes,
then there'll be a pause,
then a fucking story about something I saw on the train.
Shut up!
Repeat.
This is the most self-aware
Dumb Dumb Club episode ever.
Well you should update her now.
Well now it's all the same
but also we call someone
Tim as well.
So things have really changed.
Get back onto it.
And now a lot of the yelling
is just about the yelling.
Yelling about Yella.
But she goes, yeah, she came out and so, yeah, she was like, oh, yeah,
the little dum-dum thing.
I'm like, oh, which one?
She's like, I've been to a few.
I've been to like five or six.
And I go, oh, cool.
So you listen to the podcast then?
And she goes, no.
What?
So it turns out there is a market out there for people that just want
to every four months just see this in the flesh and then go no that'll do that's enough but like
there's always a shot a booster shot of dickheadery but there's always gaps in between the episodes
yeah it's like it's like going you know what i'll just go and see every fourth harry potter film
yeah and work it out in my head in between it's like going along to a band and you don't know any of their music.
You go in and you go, wow, that was great.
And then you just never look up their music.
Yeah.
And just the next time they come out.
I love that you both, just when we said it was a self-aware episode,
both of you think there's this amazing story arc that you have to keep track of.
Yeah.
You can play your episodes in whatever order and nobody would know.
It's like Days of Our Lives.
You can tune in every couple of years.
Yeah, I get it.
Yeah, and it sort of is like stepping in and out of Harry Potter.
You watch the first one, you watch the fourth.
Voldemort's still old and a cunt.
So a lot of parallels between that and this.
It's Carl Voldemort, old and a cunt.
And Harry Potter's still little and he's very scarred.
I suppose that makes me Hogwarts, the universe. He's very scarred. Jesus.
I suppose that makes me Hogwarts.
Yeah, you should definitely run really fast into a wall at a train station.
But the live episodes probably have the most amount of in-jokes than any other episode.
It's sort of there for the fans.
That's just there for...
You're playing to...
Well, there's a crowd there
and you're trying to find shortcuts
as to what will make them happy the quickest.
Totally, right?
That's good insight.
Say that to the advertiser.
That's really interesting.
But imagine just popping in once in a while.
It would be amazing to...
I know.
I wanted to just...
It was fascinating to me.
When we do live shows from now on,
we need to have ads it was fascinating to me. We need to, when we do live shows from now on,
we need to have ads for our podcast in them.
Yeah, I thought that was just a given but it turns out it's not. No, you need a playbill that's like, in this performance.
If you like this show, how about you actually follow this show?
So, yeah.
So, she just said, I just go along to the live shows
I'm aware of your podcast
Not in the podcast form
Basically yeah
She's like I've seen you on stage
I go a lot with my friend
Wow
And doesn't listen
So this is a safe space
Where I can just tee off on her
As long as we don't bring this on
As long as you don't call back to this
Next time we're up there on stage
I should be safe
Nah he's never thrown you under the bus
You'll be good to go You sound like her You sound like you've never listened to this podcast time we're up there on stage, I should be safe. Nah, he's never thrown you under the bus.
You'll be good to go.
You sound like her. You sound like you've never listened to this podcast.
Oh, wait a minute.
I also think, mate, it sounds like she feels like there's a trick
in getting something for free. Harry Potter lives under the stairs, I live under the bus.
Sorry. She's like, she's
worried about getting something for free, like it's a
trap. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, fuck off. I'll pay
for it. I'll pay for it. It is.
In many ways, it is a trap.
We get you in there for free with this and then it's fucking non-stop ads for T-shirts and chocolate mousse and tickets.
What do you mean T-shirts and chocolate mousse, Tommy?
Oh, yeah.
Actually, let's do a quick one since everyone just fast-forwards a bit at the start.
Yeah.
What have we got?
We've got T-shirts on our website.
We've got tickets to our live shows.
Come along and see.
Patrons.
Support the patrons.
What is patron?
Get our new
Got Him t-shirt.
Have we talked about
that on the show yet?
We've got a new t-shirt
for the Patreon subscribers.
Patreon subscribers
get first dibs
at a new t-shirt
we've made up
that says
1-800-TIM.
It's the Got Him
hotline on it.
Yeah, it's excellent.
If you get on social media,
on Facebook or Twitter,
you can see the visual.
You can see exactly
what the t-shirt looks like
but they are
flowing out the door.
And you sent it, you sent the, before it went out of print,
you sent it to me and the one note I had was saying
that the Gotim is coming from the wrong end of the phone.
It's coming from the microphone rather than the speaker.
You still kept it in there.
Yeah.
Classic.
Actually, adds to the charm, I would say.
How do you know the phone's not upside down, fuckhead?
Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, adds to the charm, I would say. How do you know the phone's not upside down, fuckhead? Yeah.
Exactly.
Yeah, got me.
Now I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of a cult.
Give him a T-shirt.
Obviously, the phone's upside down.
That's how you design a T-shirt.
Everything deliberately wrong.
By the way, as I said, just in London, doing gigs,
a bunch of Dum Dum Club fans came out,
so I got to see a whole range of Dum Dum fan
merch, like merch from over the years.
And I found the one sale
of the grey Dum Dum shirt.
The original Dasolo shirt.
It's out there. The Ark of the Covenant.
What's it like to have
Dum Dum fans come to your solo show?
Maybe we need to go
to London to do stand-up gigs.
I was doing gigs the last couple of weeks in Brisbane and Perth.
I was in like rural WA, Margaret River,
and there were Dum Dum Club fans there.
Awesome.
They've been really supportive.
Thanks, guys.
Keep coming to see me in Brisbane.
I hate this.
You guys are the best fans ever.
I literally got...
So this is a guy that's a listener to the show.
I always get these texts where you literally got, and so this is a guy that's a listener of the show. This is, you know,
I always get these texts
where you get emails,
stuff like this.
I got a phone call
the other day
from a random number.
I'm like, well,
it's the middle of the day.
If I get random numbers
calling me after 10 o'clock,
I don't answer them
because I know they're people
that have suddenly got the courage
to ring me up and go,
oh,
oh,
hello,
dickhead.
You might carefully
make me start a call
from the Ballarat advertiser.
Maribor advertiser, you fucking idiot.
So, I get a call
I get a call
during the day
from a random number and I think, you know,
this could be anything, this could be business,
I get it, and it's just someone very casually going,
yeah, I'm a listener of the podcast
and I'm like, oh fuck, what's happening here?
And he goes, oh, I just want to make sure that you send me a T-shirt.
I'm ordering a T-shirt right now.
I just want to make sure that you send me that T-shirt.
I'm like, yeah, well, this can all be sort of done over email, I would have thought.
He's like, yeah, I just want to make it clear.
I got the address slightly wrong.
Here's the real address.
Okay, cool.
He goes, I just want to make sure that you send it out in time because in four days' time,
I've got tickets to go and see
Anne Edmonds and Dave Thornton
and I want to wear my T-shirt to go and see them.
I'm like, okay, cool.
All right, nice one.
And we're up in Brisbane soon.
He's like, yeah, I'll be busy that weekend.
Oh, great.
That's the ultimate got him to you guys,
just telling you which one of your guests they're going to go see.
But sorry, mate, too busy over here. going to go see. But sorry, man.
Too busy over here.
Yeah.
Full brutal.
Yeah.
Sorry.
I remember like last year during the comedy festival,
I had to start plugging your shows to your fans in the middle of my show.
And I was like, hey, so who's here from the dark room?
Oh, great.
Have you gone and seen Carl and Tommy?
Nah.
Who are they?
So back to school.
So you're a couple of weeks into school now
Yeah
Well that girl
So then after that
That girl
A couple of other people
Came over and joined the group
That we're in
Kind of talking
And then
Just before the lecture started
Oh so you've made friends at school
Made friends at school
Yeah
They were like
Hey should we
Should we go out the back
And have a joint
Before the lecture starts
Before your first lecture
Yeah
No no
This is an orientation day
Oh right right, right.
But, you know, just a lecture about being at uni basically.
Oh, not to do drugs at school.
And, yeah, the other girl was like, yeah, yeah, let's go.
Let's go do it.
Oh, I was just thinking that myself.
And then they turned to me and they're like,
do you want to come have a joint with us?
And I like don't smoke but I was just like, yeah, nah, yeah, cool.
I'll come with you guys, yeah.
So I'm just following these two girls out into the back of the uni,
just in my head going, you're an hour in and you're already
the most fucking sad portrayal of like the desperate mature age student
just doing everything he can to fit in.
I don't look at it that way.
I look at it like you're a fucking war dog.
Like they're like, you want to have a sneaky joint?
You're like, the fucking drunk cast is comedians just throwing cocaine
in their face and then punching people.
It's like, yeah, alright, ooh, a joint at school.
Allegedly. Okay.
I don't know anything.
It's interesting though because I remember when I
first went to uni when I was straight out of high school
like there were mature age students in my
classes and the stereotype is
they answer every question, they put their hands up all the time and you sit there and you're still sort of fresh out of school and you're like, what a fucking loser.
But like I get it now.
It's because it's like you're old and you realise that nothing matters and you just don't give a fuck.
You're just like, I'll talk whenever I want.
I went to uni for like eight weeks and there was this mature age student and man, he was a bit – we got some like assignment dropped on us on a Friday
and they said it's got to be ready by Monday and everyone's like, oh.
And the guy a couple of like seats down from me just didn't give a shit,
just writes it down.
And one of the kids goes, mate, don't you give a fuck?
Just you're on Monday.
And he goes, man, I've got three kids and two mortgages.
Who gives a fuck about this society?
Yeah, fair enough.
My first week of uni,
I was walking around
with like a backpack,
but also I had like a bum bag
where I kept my passport.
KFC in both. No, no, no.
But like a map
of the uni and stuff. Oh my god!
And I had a little hat
Like if there was ever a target
Man, bullies would have flushed your head down the toilet
If it fit in there
How many bum bags are you wearing right now?
This is my backpack
It comes to the front
A bum bag and a backpack
And a hat with a propeller on it
I flew here from Sri Lanka in a backpack and a hat with a propeller on it.
I flew here from Sri Lanka.
Man, I would have looked like such a target.
Like clearly this kid is about to get mugged.
And I ended up like getting super drunk in this all week pub crawl and just passing out.
And there was apparently like someone had taken a photo of me
and stuck this sticker called look what alcohol can do on me
and taken a photo. It was like one of the look what alcohol can do on me and taken a photo
it was like one of the early sort of it was like a little like forums back then there was no facebook
anything and you're a meme you got maimed a week into uni i love it and these people trying to get
me home and they're like where do you live and i was like i actually don't know i genuinely can't
remember i was like ligon street somewhere oh yeah we know where ligon is and they we had to
maneuver my way home somehow it's a great introduction to this country but i did have the bum bag with my passport and
like cash and stuff because i just thought that's what you do when you're new new in a country
awesome well it was like the first day of lectures of the orientation day like all the all the people
get all the guys get up and they're all like the teachers are all like really cool but they're all
like they're all kind of like throwing jokes in and like kind of like you know movie references and stuff like that and
like trying to be funny and like no one in the room is laughing because they're all just like
they're all just still used to the thing of like man teachers are so uncool look at these old dorks
and i was like i was just sitting there watching it going man this is like this actually kind of
makes me feel a bit sad this is depressing these like these guys getting up here trying to make
jokes trying to make trying to appeal and be interesting and funny to these people
that are a lot younger than them.
Anyway, then I walked out of uni, got onto a tram
and went and did a stand-up gig.
It's just like, oh, no, that's me.
That's been me for ten years.
People going, man, that poor guy.
Look at him giving it a shot.
So are you committed to school?
Are you going, well, you're not wagging,
going to time zone or anything yet?
Let me just say that I'm pretty close to winning you a big giant teddy bear.
I've been getting some pretty big whack-a-mole points.
Are you still getting dropped off like a couple of blocks from school by your parents?
So you look cool, you're just walking in, you're not getting a ride to school or anything?
Well, yeah, the way the Yarra Tram system works, that's happened a couple of times where I've been unintentionally
dropped off a couple of blocks from where I needed to be.
Anyone bullying you or anything at school?
You can tell us.
No, it's all good.
It's all, yeah, it's actually, it's kind of, yeah, it's good.
It's kind of boring.
There's nothing really to say.
Yeah, is it like with 10 years off, is it just easier to comprehend
and there's no real stress behind it?
Yeah, I mean, that's the thing.
You can tell, like like I guess this is different
because it's like a creative school but like yeah,
the thing about when you go straight after school you're like you don't –
you're just going I think a lot of the time because you feel like
you have to go or whatever and it's like yeah, you go back and it's like,
yeah, well I'm paying money to learn this skill.
So I'm like there's no point like why would I not go?
The government is helping me out and I'll get them back down the line.
Is that what I'm on these days, the government?
The member for Malvern.
Mr. Allsop.
Sexy Allsop apparently.
You remember where I grew up.
That's the most attention you've ever paid to a story I've told you
I did like this
In the orientation day
The equipment department
Because you can just go and like
Hire stuff out whenever you want
Like cameras and different computing equipment or whatever
And they got up
And they gave a talk about how to put in a form
To get the gear that you need and all this kind of stuff.
And you've got to admire the balls of this.
The day before the orientation day, they'd gone and filmed a little skit
about how to rent things out about their role in the uni
and played that to us.
Isn't that fucking a ballsy move?
And it bombed, obviously.
It bombed pretty hard.
It was all sort of them getting a call from a student going,
help, my camera's not working and my assignment's due in tomorrow.
And then them sort of like running through the halls of the uni.
Wow.
Mission Impossible style.
And one of them was they run up to, like this girl calls him,
she's like, yeah, the camera's not working.
So the guy runs up and he just walks,
she's got a video camera there and she's just shrugging.
And he walks up to the camera and just like takes the lens cap off and then she goes,
oh, and he just gives a thumbs up to the camera.
I'm sitting there thinking, how'd this bitch pass the interview?
Like, how'd she get into the uni?
I had to do like an hour-long phone interview to clear it.
This chick doesn't even know how her camera works
and she's like, she's made it to the end of the second trimester
when you do your short film.
I thought you were going to say, oh, how did they get this acting gig?
How come I'm not in this?
Guys, yeah, first question.
Look, sorry, I noticed there was a bit of dodgy work in there.
Look, I'm actually a working comedian,
so next time you want to film a little skit, please hit me up
because I'm happy to do a bit of pro bono writing for you.
Yeah.
Yeah, brutal.
Is that your show reel?
Yeah, from then on, every time you put your hand up,
the teacher goes, we get it.
The question is, how did you get that?
We know.
We know.
You should get for merch, you know, like in those American sports,
the big hands.
Yeah.
You get one that says, how did you get that?
That's a good idea.
I wonder how much they cost to get made up.
The big foam hand.
The big foam hand thing, how did you get that?
Big foam hands.
Or like one pointing saying, got him.
Yeah.
That's pretty good.
I like that because, you know, you sell them for sports
because you want to wear them in a stadium,
but the only good use of a big foam handy now situation
is at the live podcast.
Live podcast.
So a girl would come along wearing it.
Yeah.
That's about it.
Let's say this.
Like that's actually a great idea for merch.
God knows we're not going to fucking get around to
hooking it up and organising it,
but listeners, if you're planning on coming along, nothing
would make me happier than to get to the
European Beer Cafe and see like
fucking 20 big foam hands that say
Got Him. Someone making their own
foam hands. Yeah. Wow. Do it. That'd be
great. I'm sure there's going to be at least one. Someone will do it. During
Melbourne, I'll be very surprised if at least one person
doesn't show up with a Got Him format.
And I'm surprised we haven't got an email from
Ronnie already going, hey guys, I've sourced
three different companies.
How are you even hearing this live?
Never mind.
Do you know the sixes and fours signs
that they turn around?
Maybe something like that as well.
Oh, the level of got him that it is.
Now that is great. Instead of having six or four in the cricket
it's just a big sign saying got him whenever we get
someone on a live show.
No, no, no. I know what Dil wants.
He just wants the live potties to be sponsored by
KFC.
I was leaning to that.
We had yellow.
We should have that. The live shows are full of zingers, just
not that sort of zinger.
Up the back of our live gig we have a jumbotron
slash a projector on Dil Rick wearing a
white t-shirt and we have, you know, they've got like Kiss Cam
at the American Baseball and stuff.
We have Got Him Cam.
So we just find someone in the crowd and they have to like
pour shit on the person they're sitting next to.
And then like an animation of like a G-O-T-T-I-M.
Got him.
Wait, let me get this straight.
It's projected on me.
You're hanging from the ceiling up the back.
It swings across. Diane's on one knee proposing to Carl. Got him. You're hanging from the ceiling up the back.
It swings across.
Diane's on one knee proposing to Carl.
Got him.
G-O-T.
Oh, yeah.
How did Feb 29 go?
Any upsets?
Is Carl's microphone broken?
Carl's very quiet.
Can you check Carl's levels?
Yeah, yeah.
No, he's turned up all the way.
The game's all the way up.
I don't know what's going on here.
Commitment stand.
Commitment stand. Commitment stand.
Turn that up.
G-O-T-T-Y-N.
Give me a G.
G.
Give me an O.
I'll tell you what, you can't learn this at school.
That's one thing I'll say.
That's one thing I'll say.
Moving on to other matters.
There was a question about Feb 29th.
Oh, Feb 29th.
I heard that referenced about eight times on that date.
I didn't even know it was a thing.
The day that women are allowed to propose to men or something like that.
Is that when you're in Tasmania?
Just in hiding?
You can't get me over here.
My phone was off for 23 hours.
But yes, in answer to your question, uni is good.
Hey, also, I don't think I've mentioned this.
I did get when we've talked about it, I have got a lot of messages from listeners saying, hey, good luck and that's cool that you're doing that.
Oh, great.
Yeah, because we focus too much on the negative feedback that we get.
And I've said this to you recently.
Because there's a lot of it.
But we've actually started getting a lot of really nice.
In the last month or two
nice January kind of did pay off
because I did start to get
a lot more
nice emails coming through
on the
what did you get
like what are some of that
we always get
we've talked about this
briefly recently
but we get a lot of people saying
thanks for helping us
through tough times
and whatever it is
which I always find
that's great
but also
if you're struggling a bit
in any way
mentally or physically
whatever it is for them to listen to this what we've talked about today oh this makes me feel a bit better
i have noticed we have actually gotten a lot of people go last year was a really shit year for me
and uh it seems like a lot of people had a really shit 2015 i think we just sent that message to each other.
I like having a tough time and going, well, at least we're not dill.
Life's not that bad.
But, yeah, thanks.
We've been saying we should make a point of it.
Especially just to put out into the ether the concept that that is possible.
You are allowed to send us nice messages.
Yes.
Unfortunately, look, the reason that we read out the negative ones and we haven't really said anything about the nice ones,
not great for content.
Yeah.
Like if you can find a way to be very complimentary
but also funny in there at the same time,
sure, it's very hard to do that.
I've never found a way.
Yeah.
Even when I was doing ODD, Operation Dumb Cunt Drop,
like it was constantly people people private messaging me going,
hey, how's it going?
Hope you're keeping up and all that.
It's a lovely thing.
Yeah, and you let them all down by polluting back out.
I won Operation Dumb Gun Drop and now I'm celebrating.
Bart's given me a new...
A very, very, very, very slow victory lap.
This is like the...
A victory lap band.
This is like the deleted
ending of Operation Dumbo Drop where the plane
then comes back in and picks him up and takes him up
into the air again. Well, Bart Freedman's
given me a new challenge, a new ODD, which is
Operation Double Digits. I was like,
alright, I'll have a crack at that.
Sticking two fingers up your ass.
Nah, more
than ten meals a day.
Actually, Operation Double Dig You would be good.
Just you sticking fingers down your throat.
That's the only way it's going to happen.
Whatever keeps them out of that pot pie for five seconds.
I'd do that, but I'm scared I might eat my fingers off.
So do you have a target?
Well, I need an end date
Because you're coming
You're coming into festival season
It's hard
It's really hard
That would be a good challenge
To see how we can try
Man I'm telling you
I dropped
I've dropped about 5 kilos
In the last month
But that's 8's though
Doesn't count
Oh does it
Oh sorry
Continue
He did gigs in London
Not Zimbabwe
And he did gigs in London, not Zimbabwe.
And he did gigs, stand-up gigs, not fucking a monkey.
I'm surprised we have to clean those
things up. Tommy's studying medicine
at university.
Hey, the uni has a...
I just cut, like when I get up, I used to just
eat massive breakfast and that was cool. When I was in Melbourne all the time, riding my bike everywhere, going to the gym. a – I just cut – like when I get up, I used to just eat massive breakfast
and that was cool.
When I was in Melbourne all the time, riding my bike everywhere,
going to the gym, I would just fucking cut everything right down.
Like if I'm not hungry, I won't eat.
Well, I found it hard while I was interstate because every time you're –
when I was over there, there would be like a fellow comics like,
you know, who want to take you to the local cool place to eat or whatever.
And in Brisbane, I went to Sizzler.
With Aaron Gox. With Aaron Gox.
With Aaron Gox.
Wow.
Shout out to Brisbane for the coolest place to eat is Sizzler.
I went when I was there and it's kind of, it's sort of,
we were obsessed with going, like, how funny is it going to be going to Sizzler?
And then you get there and it's like, hey, so it's $35 each.
And it's like, oh, this sucks.
This is really average food.
I was at the live dum-dum in Ballarat when we went to the pizza hut
where you can eat.
I was just like, oh, fuck, this is grim.
It's breaking my childhood.
You should just keep certain memories.
As a child, it would have been like an exciting thing to go to.
Yeah, and I had such good memories of it as a kid.
It's good when you go when you're a kid and your parents pay for you, when you're
having to outlay the 30 bucks for the plate. To be fair, that still
happened to you.
As I was walking into it, I was like
fuck. Get back under the bus.
Get back to school, Tommy.
I should get mum to drop me off two blocks away from this
punchline.
No, a festival
is a tough time, especially because, you especially because there's a lot more drink,
there's a lot of late-night snacking.
And I like your excuse that it's all these people interstate.
I saw you on Sunday night, you ate a steak at midnight in Melbourne.
Yeah, but that was for having dinner at a really cool restaurant.
As if you're not going to have a steak.
Didn't you invite him out to have that steak?
No.
He's just entrapped in my drinks.
No, maybe Carl is deep down down one of those feeders.
Go to fat people's places and start feeding them.
Is this what this podcast is?
If that's what I am, fuck me, I'm good at it.
Yeah, there's guys that do that to their girlfriends
for their own sexual gratification.
He does it for content on his podcast.
Have another drumstick.
We'll have nothing
to talk about. Without you
I'm nothing.
You complete me and
so many other people. You're wasting away.
My material's wasting away.
Look at Ronnie Chang. I've got nothing on him now.
Should we call it for this week's episode Of the Little Dam Dam Club
Nick Cody, Dilruk Jai Singhu
Thank you so much for joining us
What have you guys got coming up
Of course it's festival season
I think this comes out ASAP
So I'm in Adelaide this weekend
For the Adelaide Fringe Festival
Come get some
Then I'm off to Ballarat
Sorry I'm just used Ballarat. Ballarat.
Brisbane.
Sorry, I'm just used to praying in a particular direction.
I'm applied now.
Brisbane Comedy Festival, Melbourne, Sydney, Perth.
All that stuff coming up.
NickCurrie.com.au.
Yep.
Cool.
I'll be at the Melbourne Comedy Festival 830V Hotel.
The name of the show is Sri Wanker.
And it's at Deerookj on Twitter and Facebook.com slash Deerookj Comedian.
Oh, I forgot.
Can I plug my potty as well?
Absolutely not.
Carl, what have we got?
Yeah, go for it.
It's called Crushing It.
And I just interview a few guests each week about a particular topic.
Yeah, second episode I was a big fan of with Josh Earl and Ben Lomas
about their kids.
It was really, really funny.
And Bart Freedman pops in as well.
It's very, very funny.
Maybe that girl that comes to our live show can listen to that.
Was Bart on there just because he's got kids all over the place
that he doesn't know about?
Because he's crushing it.
That works.
This is podcasting.
That is very good.
I was about to say before I got cut off,
hey, the university has like a radio station in it.
Maybe I should see if I can get a little dum-dum club.
Imagine how cool I would look walking around the hallways
while people are listening to my podcast with my friends.
You'd be like Brian Austin Green in 90210.
We have got all of our stuff on sale at the moment.
It's Brisbane March 22 podcast, one of which is sold out.
One of which, the other one, the 130 show,
is really, really, really close to selling out.
Yep, stand-up show, same deal?
You think so?
Wouldn't have thought so.
No, no, no. We actually have sold plenty of tickets, but we haven't sold out.
Yep. Cool. That's going to be really fun.
Then we've got the Melbourne International Comedy Festival every Sunday from March 27 until April 17.
That's four big shows.
We have in the last week booked in some huge guests already which is very exciting
so that's every Sunday
plus there's the
my 40th birthday one
on March 30th
it's 11 o'clock
so after every
comedy festival show
that night
it's at the end of the night
so it's going to be
a mini drunk cast
I would imagine
and let's say this
if you're like
I think a lot of people
have bought tickets
to the other shows
and maybe thinking
the 40th
I am planning some stuff
that is going to be
very good I would urge people not to miss it because I've gotth. I am planning some stuff that is going to be very good.
I would urge people not to miss it because I've got some things
in the works that I think are going to be really great.
Oh, I think I might be busy that night.
I'm just going to pump you up.
You sound like one of your fans going to your stand-up show.
And then, yeah, Drunk Cast, Final Night of the Festival,
which you get into for free with a ticket from any of those other shows.
You are crazy. Let's just stress this. The Drunk Cast has final night of the festival, which you get into for free with a ticket from any of those other shows. You are crazy.
Let's just stress this.
The Drunk Cast has just gotten better every year.
It's just crazy.
Last year, I don't think I've ever been part of anything
that's been as fun as the Drunk Cast last year.
Yeah, I've felt this the last two years, but I just...
It's going to pop, as in someone's going to die.
I don't want to...
I'm just scared.
It's like, you know, how do you keep...
Right.
How do you keep...
And I've done that smart thing again
where I've booked a gig in Sydney on the Monday night.
I have to go up and do something in Sydney
the night after Comedy Festival ends.
Did that last year.
Good to move.
If you had to pick one word to describe the experience,
what would it be?
Angel!
I worked the next day.
I worked on the Monday at like 10 o'clock.
I'm just sitting there trying to write jokes after that happened.
And I'm just sitting there going, oh.
Can we do a spleen as well?
Like everyone's just dead.
Like, oh.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Well, that was the day where I was putting in sporadically messages to Lawrence Mooney
just saying, you know, a very stupidadically messages to Lawrence Mooney just saying
you know
a very stupid question
to text to someone
but just
are you alive
also finally
we've got our solo shows
on sale
mine's 8.45
at the Downstairs Lounge
it's called
Little Golden Dasolo
you've got Carl Chandler
defends his title
as the world's greatest
and best comedian
at the Vic Hotel
at 9.45
that's it
and like last year
it's full of special guests every night.
We've got one.
I've got one guest a night.
It's heaps of fun.
All of you guys were on it last year.
You'll all be on it again this year.
I've got heaps of other special guests that didn't do it last year,
so it'll be heaps of fun.
And they're all new jokes.
So, yeah, it's the funnest show I've ever done, solo show.
So I'm really looking forward to it.
Can you call it a solo show, though?
It feels like a group effort, really.
This is the biggest cast for a solo show there's ever been.
I'm going to go one step further.
Can you even call it a show?
Well, it feels like a group show when you're in it.
It feels like group therapy most of the time.
All those tickets and everything, littledumbdumbclub.com.
Guys, thanks very much for listening, and we'll see you next time.
See you, mate!
It's brutal.