The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 291 - Becky Lucas & Josh Earl

Episode Date: May 4, 2016

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This episode of Little Dum Dum Club is brought to you by Yellow Chocolate Moose, Tommy Daslow's favourite moose. It is actually my favourite moose. Of all the mooses I've had, of which there's three, it's in the top three. Oh look, my natural instinct, I'm very inquisitive, I would love to ask what the other two were, but to me personally, I think the next two are daylight for me. There's nothing between Yellow Chocolate Moousse and the next mousse. Well, I'll answer anyway. They would have just been sort of shitty mousses at like a restaurant or something when I was a kid with my parents.

Okay. Yeah. Is that a good enough answer? So, you haven't had a very good experience with mousse. Until you had yellow mousse, your favorite chocolate mousse was some shitty mousse you had when you were a child. Yes, you heard correctly. I'm surprised you even tried the yellow chocolate mousse was some shitty mousse you had when you were a child. Yes, you heard correctly. I'm surprised you even tried the yellow chocolate mousse.

But they're still steeped in good memories because it was my childhood. You know, everything was better when you were younger. Yeah, right. Do you remember, like, did you have a better sense of smell when you were a kid? Do you remember, like, everything smelled a lot better? Is this your way of saying that your senses are slowly deteriorating now that you've hit 40? Yeah. No, no, no.

I think they've been deteriorating for a while. My nose has anyway. I remember going to shops and just being overwhelmed by smell. I don't know about that. You know what's weird is that out the front of my house there's regularly a burnt toast smell. I think someone told me it's like burnt coffee kind of smells that way as well. But then you know that thing of like if you're having a stroke you can smell burnt toast smell. I think someone told me it's like burnt coffee kind of smells that way as well. But then you know that thing of like if you're having a stroke,

you can smell burnt toast. So nearly every day I walk out the front and I'm like, fuck, this is it. This is the day it finally happens. Yeah, just you being,

like you coming, you having a stroke over just walking outside. How much physical activity were you having when you were having a stroke by walking into Sunshine? Oh, fuck,

this step down from the house into the front yard is brutal. Oh, that mailbox. Oh, my God. Hard to bend over and everything. We have also got hoodies on sale now in our web store, our eShop, littledumbdumbclub.com. They are hoodies that have the design that says, I am aware of the Little Dumb Dumb Club.

We've got T-shirts that have the same design that you are well aware of our well-aware t-shirts. But seasonally inappropriate at this point, I have to say. Well, you know, you always want layers. It's winter, you want layers. It's kind of the best time to buy it, I guess, because you're then covering it up, so no one has to see how much of a fucking nerd you are. Well, you know, it's not winter,

so you don't just put a raincoat on and that's it over your bare chest. You've got to have layers. Wait, you don't? No, you don't. I'm telling you say you don't just put a raincoat on and that's it over your bare chest. You've got to have layers. Wait, you don't? No, you don't. I'm telling you, you don't. Fucking hell. Your favourite mousse is shitty chocolate mousse.

You wear a raincoat and nothing else in the winter. I'm walking around having a stroke every day with a raincoat and nothing else on underneath. Well, that sounds about right. If you're walking around with just a raincoat on, I think a lot of people would be having a stroke that wear that. No, you know me. I prefer to go sans raincoat exclusively. Get it? Hey, also, the main reason we're recording this ad before this episode is that we hot

Hey, hey, Carl. Yes. Go over to those presses over there. All right. And stop them. Ouch. Hit the stump. Ouch, my fingers are burning.

Something's hot on them. What? It's hot. It's boiling. No, I was saying you should stop them. Oh, right. Because we have an announcement. Okay. But I guess. They're also hot. There's hot on them. It's hot, it's boiling. No, I was saying you should stop them. Because we have an announcement. They're also hot. There's two presses going. There's one that we need to stop to put this announcement

on, and then there's the other one that the announcement is on that's currently hot. Well, the ones that are on are hot, because of course, electric equipment that's turned on, that's going to be hot. So both of the facts stand up. Alright, fucking Adam Savage, with your little myth-busting over there.

Our 300th episode is coming up. As you'll know if you've looked at the title of this episode, we have just locked in a big live episode. It is going down Saturday, June 25th, 8.30pm at the European Beer Cafe. Tickets are on sale right now they've just gone up

this is it this is this is the night that we kill ourselves I reckon this is going to be huge you don't want to miss it now

if you've been there before if you went to our shows during the Comedy Festival you'll know that it is of a limited capacity yes so it's big

it's big enough but I've got a feeling it's a night gig you know it's going to be fun it's at 8.30 it's big. It's big enough. But I've got a feeling it's a night gig. You know it's going to be fun. It's at 8.30. It's on a Saturday night. There is literally no excuse. For people that are in the state, we know you guys are going to be flying in for this

sort of thing. So we're going to have a heap of you guys. So make sure you get in quick because we don't have any more room to sell. Yeah. We've literally, we've sat here for an hour in my house going back and forth between doing it at 4 or at 8 and we just went, you know what? We've got to do it at 8. Yeah.

It's a Saturday night, baby. We can get a different venue at 4 and have a bigger capacity or we can have more fun at 8 o'clock and pack you guys in. So that's what's happening. We can have a party. You know our live shows, they are parties. If you've been to them, you know that they're fucking pretty loose. They're pretty crazy.

So look, we don't want to be sideways at 4. If you've been to them, you know that they're fucking pretty loose. They're pretty crazy. So, look, we don't want to be sideways at 4.30 in the afternoon. Yeah, exactly. I don't want to walk out into daylight and get immediately arrested. I'm going to put in a request now. If you're coming, if you're planning to get a ticket, can you, for the love of God, can you bring some dinner for this fucking guy over here to eat before the gig? I don't want a repeat of you.

If you go to dinner with your mum and dad, bring some of that shitty chocolate mousse along and I'll eat go to dinner before the gig get a doggy bag and bring all the remnants of all your meals that you've had before the gig and you can eat that for your dinner live on stage oh yeah oh can i can i make it like a theater restaurant show yes let's do it can i have three courses on stage let's's get actual theatre restaurant people to come and be in the gig. What do you reckon? Can I eat three courses on stage during the show? Let's write a play.

Let's make this a scripted live podcast for once. No. I want to sell tickets. Okay, so littledumbdumbclub.com. Guys, this is it. 300th episode. Yeah, don't sleep on it because, we again we did our 250th last year it was like

jam packed in there yeah the drunk cast was crazily full if you've been to our live shows you know look

maybe I don't have enough distance involved but I feel like our live shows are just getting better and better especially if you're there they're just parties

they're crazy yeah this will sell out pretty quickly I reckon and then that's gonna be it like we're not gonna be there's no other option for us except to kill ourselves. Yeah, and it is at 8.30, so we're done by 9.30, 10.

You know – What an advert. No, no, but I'm saying that we can – you know, we've got time to muck around afterwards. You know, maybe something else might happen afterwards. I love a bit of mucking around on a Saturday night. Where are we going to go? Let's book a party bus for afterwards.

Party bus that just drives us over the Westgate and back. Fuck, I wonder what that would cost. What can you do at night in the city? What could we do? We could... What can you do? We could... The cinema's open that late.

That's not bad. Let's go see Civil War. That current movie in two months' time. Oh, no. Okay, guys, that's all bad. Let's go see Civil War. That current movie in two months' time. Oh, no. Okay, guys, that's all we need to say. LittleDumbDumbClub.com is where you can get all that stuff. Don't sleep on it. Get your tickets right now.

Enjoy this episode with Josh Earl and Becky Lucas, and we'll see you. What? What? For all you guys that hate the live episodes, I know we're just plugging them, but some of you guys don't like the live episodes recorded as much, so here's your precious little studio episode.

Back in the stewed. Here's no audience laughing in the background. Here's just us not having as much fun because not as many people are laughing at us. I hope you're happy guys. Here's me drunk. Oh yeah, you are too. You're actually drunker in a normal episode than I am in a live show. Yeah, I listen back to it. I've come up

pretty well, I've got to say. You wouldn't know if it weren't for you constantly mentioning that I'm drunk. Anyway, hey, you know what? Spoiler alert. Enjoy this episode and we'll see you out there. June 25th. Tickets available now at littledumbdumbclub.com Hey, mates! Welcome to

another episode of the Little Dum Dum Club. My name is Tommy Dasolo. Thank you so much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo. Sitting next to me, the other half of the podcast, Carl Chandler. G'day, dickheads. This is going to be a treat because I reckon you've had about half a dozen beers. Is this the thing you had for up the top?

No, not at all. Yeah. I haven't had half a dozen. I've had six. Okay. That's good. That's the telltale sign that you have had half a dozen, I've had six. Okay, that's good. That's the telltale sign that you have had half a dozen. You sound really good for someone that was crying earlier.

Thanks, man, I appreciate that. On the walk here, you picked up a traffic cone and just started walking with it. That's the sign. I didn't, I fucked it and then I started walking along with it. I think we're going to have to edit out this whole episode. Edit out this. Yes.

Let's get the guests in. Okay, first of all, you know him from his own podcast, Don't You Know Who I Am. It's Josh Earle. Hello, listeners. Hi. I should clap. Yay. Clap.

Clap. Yay. Also, you know. I brought my own microphone. Sorry. Yeah. That's how good your podcast is going. Is it the one that you're using or not?

Yes. It's got it. Who are you, Carl Sandel? Tim on it. It's gold. It's gold. It's solid gold. We've also got, you know her from her Ratbag online persona,

it's Becky Lucas. Yay! Hello. Is that a fair way of describing it? Is it Ratbag? I feel like you're out there trying to be a bit of a Ratbag online on Twitter and on Facebook. I'm just my true self.

Yeah. I've been retweeting a lot of compliments during the festival. Sorry about that if you follow me. You know what? I gave up. I'm doing it It feels like five years ago It was like only the There were some real people who we all didn't like who did it

You know what I mean? And we all just kind of went Fucking you can't be like that and then it sort of The tide started to turn Move to New York Never coming back on your show again It was like That's what it takes. We've got to do it.

That's the comedy festival, very inside baseball. But, yeah, we just did a gig. So this is a late night gig. This is a late night podcast. We've all just come from gigs. This is what just happened to me. So I was running my gig. This was on Thursday night.

It's at the European Beer Cafe. And so I do the tilt on the way in. I'm taking people's money. A guy comes in and says to me tonight, he goes, oh, see you at Spleen, fair bit, on the Mondays. Great work. Love it. I'm like, great, great.

And he goes, so why are you here? I'm like, well, you can do more than one gig. He's like, oh, I get it. I'm like, I don't know if you do, but anyway. And he goes, goes Yeah you know what I love your festival show And I go What

And as I'm saying what I realise what he said He said I love your festival show And then he goes And I said what And he goes I liked your festival show Like

That got downgraded Real Real quick didn't it And he goes Oh yeah Yeah it did Yeah I guess so But no it was really good It was really good And I go Oh cool Thanks for coming What night did it? And he goes, oh, yeah, yeah, it did. Yeah, I guess so. But no, it was really good.

It was really good. And I go, oh, cool. Thanks for coming. What night did you come? And he goes, oh, all right. I didn't see it. I was disappointed you heard that because I was standing next to you as that happened. And look, we're doing this, what, three days after the comedy festival?

Material is thin on the ground at this point for us to talk about. I was standing next to you. I heard that happen. I thought you hadn't clocked that. And I was like, I've got him here. I've got something that I'm going to fucking roll him with. But you just, you called it immediately. And that's why you're my friend. Yes.

But you're six beers in, so you would have forgotten that anyway. Yeah, that's true. I also love how needy you are by just going, so what night? Not happy enough with just good show. What night did you say? I want to know exactly. I'm just very suspicious of anyone giving me a compliment. Because it's also for the –

And you should be. For any of the rest of us, it's like because you've got that, you know, that flag of like what – you remember all of your nights of your show based on who the heckler was. Any of the others, it's like someone could go, oh, March 30. It's like fucking what do I know at this point? March 30, my birthday. Yeah. It's like, fucking what do I know at this point? Yeah. March 30, my birthday.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, I'd remember that one if someone was like, I've been in your birthday show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we haven't really talked about that. So we did a birthday show for me. You organised it.

It was awesome. Yeah, yeah. You were there. I was there. You were there. You were all there. I wasn't there. Oh, you weren't there.

I was sick. I was sick for the first week of the festival. I had a fluke. Oh, yeah. You look like shit and i remember seeing you yeah i had to wear sunglasses thank you thanks um so we haven't talked about that on the show but you guys chipped in and uh uh we got a westgate bridge cake yes which was excellent it's all this wee shit well you do everything together you're drawing the now. We're such good friends that I even make you involved in the surprises for your own birthday. I'm like, I can't do this without you.

Next year I think there's going to be a new gay wedding at the festival. That was awesome. A big Westgate bridge cake. Yeah. Ronnie Chang organised it from New York. I feel like we've said this on the show, but very successful now New York-based comedian

working on The Daily Show, one of the biggest comedy shows on the planet. He messages every comedian in Melbourne and goes, hey, I'm organising this cake for Carl Chandler's birthday. What should it be in the shape of? And I go, the Westgate Bridge. And he goes, okay, I've booked it in. I've done the maths.

Here's what it costs. If everyone in this chat could just pay 13 bucks each for the cake that would be great i mean ronnie's got plenty of money and first of all he's just set up the group so all of a sudden without even volunteering just by being in the chat yeah you're on the hook for 13 bucks yeah that's what it's like just being a young girl with friends from school you know just every every facebook group ends up like okay you guys owe me $20. Like it's always someone's birthday.

No, I've actually had a bunch of that this week. I've had a lot of friends like start a thing of like, oh, this guy's going through a tough time. Let's all chip in and get him a ticket for Splendour. No more chipping in. I'm sick of chipping in. But this is what this person I know has done is like, hey, let's all – let's say if everyone in this group chips in,

it'll be 10. Great. And so a bunch of people have gone, great, okay, I've put in 10. And then he's like, hey, let's all, let's say if everyone in this group chips in, it'll be 10. Great. And so a bunch of people have gone, great, okay, I've put in 10. And then he's like, okay, cool, I'll let you guys know if we don't, if not everyone chips in, if we don't hit that goal, I'll let you know what else you have to chip in. Right. So all of a sudden it's like, if only eight of us go in, it's like, soz guys, you each owe another hundred bucks now.

Right. Oh. Yeah, yeah. Awful. This chipping in. Can't you just smoke out the people who haven't paid and then make them feel like shit and just make them pay? But it's a thing where it's done.

Get Becky to troll them. She's really good at it. Yeah, I should bring you in. I should bring you in as my negotiator. I'd love to. Would you be happy with that? Just give me a photo of them and I'll ruin their life. Right.

Okay, cool. That's all I want at this point. Yeah. But to be fair, so with this birthday party thing, didn't you then do, or whoever organised, I presume it was you, because then I got a present of the, that we haven't mentioned, of a personalised number plate that says

Got Tim, that I'm getting from you guys. So you would have done the same thing, wouldn't you? You're right, I did do the same thing. You ask people to chip. And then you get annoyed when you're asked to chip. I've chipped in for the cake. I'm not paying fucking 500 bucks for a licence plate for you.

Oh, sure, sure. Yeah. Can I say, my standing in the Melbourne comedy scene, I wasn't involved in either of those two chats. I know. Right now I'm like, what the fuck? Tommy didn't hit me up. Well, you didn't rock up to my birthday either.

Yeah. Well, I was going to, but I was sick. But, like, I would have... Poor you, you've got an extra 100 my birthday either. Yeah. Well, I was going to, but I was sick. But like I would have. Poor you. You've got an extra hundred bucks in the old sky rocket. It's good. Oh, fucking console yourself while you're feeding your kid, you poor guy. I just don't like to be left out.

Yeah. Maybe Ronnie actually thought I was on really hard times. But no, I won't hit up Josh. Yeah. He's got too many mouths to feed. Yeah, but fuck, he messaged me. Yeah. So that's clearly not a concern.

Oh, God, I'm going to kill myself. He didn't have your Facebook address. Yeah. He didn't know how to make me so. That's clearly not a concern. Oh, God, I'm going to kill myself. He didn't have your Facebook address. He didn't know how to hit you up. But that's the venue after that all happened because, you know. So wait, did we say, so I bought you, so yeah, me and Nick Cody, Dave Thorne, Tom Ballard, Milan and Dilruk, we've chipped in and we've gotten you, because I tried to just get you the licence plate. Because we've talked about it on the show about how your number plates

got stolen. You were saying you were going to go get got him plates it was it was like it's it's too much to just do as a lark yeah so I thought I'll get you this turns out you can't just go and get license plates for someone else's car without them signing well you can't just go and buy a passport for someone else that's weird makes perfect I don't know why I was surprised by this makes perfect sense so I've got you the gift voucher and, yeah, we'll get that going in the next month and you're going to – are you going to put them on your car? I have to.

I feel like it's a ridiculous waste of people's money. Yeah. Do you? Of course. I'm a grown-up. You always seem like someone who'd sit on a train. I know I do. No, literally this is it because –

But also, just quickly, he has a car that you have to unlock the doors by unlocking the boot. Yeah. Still a Mercedes. Yeah. Oh, really? No, it's not. It's a BMW.

But because of festival and stuff, I haven't driven it for two months. It sat on the street for two months. Yesterday, went to start it, not a chance. Dead. Absolutely dead. I love this podcast because now the listeners know your car make and your licence plate and your phone number. And whereabouts you live.

No, they don't. I don't give that out. You've given out the vague. The suburb. Yeah, there's a vague area. There's a Riversdale Road region that you talk about a lot. You talk about a supermarket. You know what?

I'm the one in charge of sending out all the merchandise, so the T-shirts and stuff. So if you get a T-shirt from me, it has a return address. I just took a gamble on there not being any return address because I do not put my address on the back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I put an address in the city. My favourite one of that, next to your house, Tommy, there's an amazing, I think you've talked about it on the show,

an amazing post office. They're just the worst, worst. The North Fitzroy Post Office, yeah. I was in there once collecting mail and the guy in front of me, the woman there was like going, I shouldn't give you this. I shouldn't give you this parcel. And he's like, why? Why?

And she turned around to send it and just said, you're cunt. Wow. So, yeah, it was a great day. Is there a baby in the parcel or? Just a great day seeing this Asian woman just saying there you go it's brilliant that's like that thing where you're going to get your tax done and I find it funny every now and then to like send

I don't know if you've ever done this send a mate one cent online and then put from go fuck yourself and then I've done that where I printed out all the stuff and then give it to a tax agent and gone oh yeah yeah pretty much everyone has done that with the gift for your birthday the stuff and then give it to a tax agent and gone, oh, yeah. Yeah, pretty much everyone has done that with the gift for your birthday.

Everyone who sent me the money, it's all, oh, come deposit. Oh, yeah, great. Cool. This will be fun. This is a fun time for those guys down at the bank. The Westgate Bridge cake. So that's all great. We go to the birthday party.

Everyone gets very drunk and we have a great time. It was a really great show. Yeah. Like a lot of random people that I, I had a couple of friends come that don't sort of listen to the podcast that just came in. Wow, that is insane. Whatever you guys have got going. How was it for you, Becky, as a spectator? Yeah, I loved it.

Yeah. I had heaps of drinks. I got really drunk. And the cake was awesome. Did you have any of the cake? I had heaps of it. Oh, really? Did you really?

Probably four slices. I think maybe you're the only one who ate any because there was so much of that left at the end. That's it because – So yummy. Then the venue hit me up like a couple of days later going, are you going to come and pick up this huge bridge-shaped cake? I would have. Would you not? Is it still there? No.

Well, I left it a week and then I was like, oh, yeah. They sent me a complaint about it because as if they've got a fridge big enough to put a bridge-sized cake in there. Yeah. On the slim chance that someone's going to go and pick it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. None of us barely remember that night happening. Dill probably went and picked it up. Yeah, yeah.

He'd be like, no, eat in, please. Eat in. And that venue was very accommodating as well because for the drunk cast, what went on there, which I imagine was – I reckon they're pretty accommodating when there's someone racking up 10 grand tabs. Yeah, okay. Yeah.

They made a lot of money that night. From Milan. From Milan. Yeah. The Milanimal, the sponsor of Melbourne Comedy. Yeah, European Beer Cafe did very well out of having our podcast and then having the drunk cast and the birthday party. Yes.

Yeah, exactly. They did crazy amounts. Well, we should... I mean, maybe we'll talk about the drunk cast a little birthday party. Yes. Yeah, exactly. They did crazy amounts. Well, we should – I mean, maybe we'll talk about the drunk cast a little bit. Yeah. A little later on. A little bit. But do we want to – Becky, you know, to be honest,

I haven't seen much of you this festival. I haven't. I wanted to ask you guys a question. Yes. A few months ago, my friend has technology whereby you can send any text message to any person and it can come up with the name of like whoever you send it to. So if I could send you a message to any person and it can come up with the name of whoever you send it to. So I could send you a message from your wife

and it would just come up with her name. Oh, wow. Like whatever it is. If I found out what her name was in your phone, I could just say da-da-da-da and a message and you'd think it was coming from her, right? Yep. So I sent a message from Tommy Dasolo to you

saying, hey, man, I don't think I want to do this podcast anymore. I'm over it. And I was, like, so excited and I, like, couldn't wait to see it pop up somewhere, like, on a group or, like, just hear people talking about it and nothing. Do you remember getting that message? Vaguely.

I get so many crank messages. Like, it's just another cup of water in the ocean. Yeah, rookie mistake. If you'd listened to this podcast, you would have known, do that the other way. Because it wouldn't play on your mind. Was this also the day that you tweeted that the podcast was finished? It was around that time.

Because I jumped on that and tweeted, it's come to an end. It's been so good. And I had like about 13, 14 favourites. I'm like, yeah, this is going to pick up. Man, even I got sucked in. I saw it and was like, I think I was in a movie or something and came out and saw all these tweets and was like, oh, what? Hello, Carl.

Please don't eat this. There was a lot of people hitting me up on Twitter and I was like, I'm going to say nothing. I'm just going to see what happens here. It was great. It really blew up. I love a day like that on Twitter. Yeah. It can save. It really blew up. I love a day like that on Twitter. Yeah.

It can save you mentally. Yeah. It was also a nice glimpse for us into the kind of love and fucking outpour of adoration that we'll get. Yeah, there was. I didn't feel like there was that much. Yeah. I mean, it was people piling on the back of these two, you know, muckrakers kind of, you

know, as a joke, But it still felt good. Like Huckleberry Finn. No, Tom Sawyer turning up to his own funeral. You know? Now that is an up-to-date Carl Chandler reference. Who plays his mate? No, let's not. Well, that's a shame.

I thought I'd got to you a bit more, but obviously not. Yeah, I know. Look, you have to step it up for text messages for me. I just get so many. I'm still – it's like people think I'm making it up. I get – I would have got three today. Easy. I just get them continually.

Really? Yeah. Yeah. Just saying anything. Just whatever. Just a mix of – even the nice ones are like, great, I love this, I love you, thanks for – you're so funny. Anyway, go fuck yourself. Cool. All right. I know you think that's what we I love this, I love you, thanks for, you're so funny, anyway, go fuck yourself.

Cool. Alright, I know you think that's what we want, but it's not. It's not what I want at all. It's what I want, that's for sure. Well, was that the question that you had for me, Becky, that you're going to bring up? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

I know it's not that good. No, it's fine. That was just something I genuinely... I'm relieved. Look, to anyone else, to anyone normal, that is a great prank, but it's just been lost in a sea of dumb country. But what is this shit? What is this weird technology?

I can't go into it. It's weird that that's out there. Because you know what happened to me recently? So if I had replied to that, does that reply to you or Tommy? No, it doesn't reply. It has nothing to do with Tommy. You can't reply to the text message. Got him.

I just wanted to see if it had caused any sort of upset between you two. If they had split up, would you come clean? No. Well, it's taken her this long to come clean and nothing happened. One of us would be here in your hotel room right now, kind of like taking advantage of the fact that you're in town for our new solo podcast and you'd have to bring it up at that point and go, look, the reason that the other one isn't

here at this point is because I did some texting six months ago. Which of them do you think would have their own podcast if they split up? I was going to say Carl. No, Tommy definitely would. But Tommy. So on the thing of the return address, I do a nerd podcast with a couple of other

comedians who are into video games. And people, this is the thing. On this show, we've been given, we've gotten a bit of sponsorship. We've gotten some good sponsorship from Yala in the last six months. Before that, nothing. I've done this video games podcast for like six months.

I'm already getting sent free video games from Sony. Someone who listens was like, hey, I really like you guys reviewing games the day they come out What's your address? I'm going to send you a $100 JB Hi-Fi gift card So you can buy a new game when it comes out So what's your address that I can send it to? And I went no fucking way man

And he was like no I'm trying to do this nice thing I'm like I know I don't care I'm not giving out my fucking address To someone who listens to a podcast He's like but I live in Perth I'm like i know i don't care i'm not giving out my fucking address to someone who listens to a podcast he's like but i live in perth i'm like yeah but you can travel i'm not giving it out no fucking way that's a very you really back yourself there like thinking people would come and yeah what are they gonna do with you oh you know when i gave his number out on this show i thought no one's gonna follow this up yeah exactly do that exactly what about this then so just quickly on

the phone number thing, can I say, I started getting some prank texts a few months ago that were just from an unknown number and it was like all this kind of weird shit and I was like replying kind of like going, uh-huh, yeah, whatever, just like in context going, uh-da-da. And then all of a sudden I was like there was a specific line in there where I'm like, oh, that's a Kanye West lyric. Yeah. So I sent another Kanye West lyric back and it goes on for another like 10 minutes

and then all of a sudden I get a text that says you've been pranked by KanyeTexts.com so this is going to go on for like the rest of the day and I'm like what so I go and look this website up and I find out that it's a thing where you can pay

to get someone else's number bombarded by Kanye West lyrics for like an hour or a couple of hours or a full day. A full day is like 50 bucks. Really? And so I'm looking at it and I'm like they've clearly – You got the 50 buck one. I've clearly gotten the whole day and it's like, yeah, it got me. Whoever this was, great.

Great. He's got awesome lyrics. They're really powerful. He's a game changer. Awesome. Mute the number, not look at my phone. Someone's 50 bucks out of pocket and no one ever came forward to go, I fucking got you.

Someone sitting in their house at the time not being able to see you at all just going, I wonder if he's got gold digger at the moment. Yeah, exactly. It's the putting glad wrap over the toilet seat. Feels great. Feels like you're pulling off a great prank, but you're never going to see the results. So what's the point?

Yeah. What about this? So Becky, have you ever got like sponsorship or anything like that? Like getting into stand-up, do you get freebies? Do you get anything? Do you get any rewards at all? No, I mean you get – I once did a tweet. Great story. I was offered to did a tweet. Great story.

I was offered to do a tweet for $600. Really? What? About shoes. And you didn't do it? I didn't do it, no. Why? What brand?

Adidas possibly. Why wouldn't you do that? It was like a new women's range. Why didn't you do it? Because I'm too – I have too much integrity. I've got too many good puss jokes. Wow. And was it like – how open were they to you having free reign?

Did you have to sort of just say – You had to say a phrase that they gave you. Oh, really? I forget the phrase, but it was just a bit lame and I don't know. I mean, I've done ads and stuff. But this one just felt... Oh. I don't know. Adidas, if you're listening, if you're listening,

I'm very happy to promote any ladies range. Hey, you know what? I got them on right now. Yeah. They're a good brand. For this audio medium, so do I, Adidas. I've got them on. I've got three pairs of them on.

I'm actually wearing an Adidas shirt. Oh, wow. Okay, you didn't have to pull the shirt up as well. You're doing all this for free. I showed him my cheaters. You're doing all this for free. Yeah, I'm actually wearing an Adidas shirt. Oh, wow. Okay, you didn't have to pull the shirt up as well. You're doing all this for free. I showed him my teeters. You're doing all this for free. Yeah, I know, I know, I know. You like the brand.

Why would you not? But would they have minded? It was a bit earlier. I was in a real rat bag mood at that. Like you said, I'm a rat bag. I've become less so. I'll do anything now. I don't care.

But would they have minded if you had put the tweet up and then done an immediate follow-up? Go on. Hey, guys. Just kidding. I got paid for that last one. Just a shot of you wearing Nike. Yeah, yeah.

I don't know. All day I dream about sponsorship. Oh, yes. Once I was given a lot of money to be in a Telstra media release about how Gen Y use apps. Yeah. And I didn't have to do anything for it and it was like a good couple of grand.

So how were you in it then? They just said, comedian Josh Earl uses his apps this way and it was just they just, I reckon they wanted Josh Thomas and they couldn't afford him and they went, all right, who's next? All right, done. Not next, who's just next in there? Who's just above him in the J first name thing.

But it was literally that thing they told me and I was like, I'll do that if that's what you're paying. What do I have to do? Oh, nothing. It was like the best day ever. I do have a problem with it. Not to get all serious, but I just feel like... Tony's still out there. We need to find him.

We do need to find him. I do have a problem with doing stuff for money for brands. Really? Because I feel like they try and control people and they find someone who might have some kind of difference about them and they just try and get onto that. Are you scared of some kid coming up to you in the street and going, I've got sore feet from these Adidas sneakers.

It is your fault. I wouldn't have bought them. No. I feel sorry for the young boyidas sneakers and it's your fault. I wouldn't have bought them. No. I feel sorry for the young boy who's in a factory making those. Well, so I ask that because we've been given a few weird sponsorship. I think Yala is different because that's a great… No, no, no, totally. Yeah, that's totally different.

That is total synergy. You don't have to backtrack and like this isn't awkward now because you've said all great – No, no, no, totally. Yeah, totally. That is total synergy. You don't have to backtrack and like this isn't awkward now because you've said all that last time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean if anyone has like any rat pellets said like – Yalla is made exclusively by young boys in factories, but you know, we don't care. Yeah, yeah.

If you get any offers to do some tweets for Candid Camera or some prank-related shows – Yeah, exactly. Totally up your alleys. But so this – I got an actual, got a phone call. So now I get calls. Most of the time I don't answer calls that are weird numbers or whatever. But sometimes I go, here we go.

I'll just answer this, see what happens. So I get a call from a guy with a bit of a nervous voice and I'm like, okay, here it comes. Someone's going to go, oh, does this really count? You dickhead. They're going to hang up. Well, he really count? You dickhead! Hang up. Well, he came as he said dickhead is what your impression sounded like.

So this guy started talking to me and look, he's looking for a sponsorship. So this is probably as far as a sponsorship as he's going to get. Maybe reading this out on the air. What he wanted, this guy, you tell me if this is a good idea or not. Okay, sure.

This is his proposal. Sure. So he wants us to go to Sydney. This guy is like high up in an amateur rugby league. Okay. Is he paying? Listen. Okay.

Sorry. Sorry. Just listen. You would be no good in a boardroom. This is the worst edition of Shark Tank ever. It's like I've got four words out of the proposal. How much money are we getting? When do we get it?

20 bucks, I'm in Where's the sneakers? Pay for the sky bus to the airport and I'm fucking in So he wants us to go to Sydney And then do a podcast from his rugby club From his rugby club As the rugby game is happening. So we're supposed to go there. People are supposed to come to the rugby game, not watch,

but watch us at the rugby club, right? Right. And I'm like, okay, all right, this is unusual. But anyway, he's like, right, so what I'm thinking is the team uh wear your shirts that i'm aware of the little dumb dumb cop shirts and i'm like going they wear them on the ground and i'm like all of a sudden i'm going i'm into this and then he goes no after the game they finish they have a shower and then they just put your shirts on i'm like why why would they do that and who would care about them what wearing that afterwards what they just they've

finished playing rugby yeah yeah and they're just that traditional thing where people walk around in shirts and everyone notices that like if they want to be more on your brand people shouldn't be showering before they wear them yes yes so i would be like i'd be half into it if they're gonna play if you're gonna play and your uniform is our shirts. Yeah. That's pretty funny. Sure. So then I'm like, so is that going to happen? He's like, no, no, no, that's, in no way is that going to happen. I'm like, okay.

So they just weirdly wear, walk around in the club rooms afterwards to get seen by our listeners, I guess, maybe. Like the only people seeing the I'm aware shirts are the people who are already aware and are probably wearing those shirts anyway. So I'm like, okay, so what, if I can ask, what are we getting out of this? He's like, well, look, there's not a lot of money in the budget. Like, to be honest, there's none. So they'd be like, we'll get a slab.

So we're going, just to be clear, we're going to a rugby club to do a podcast for nothing. He's like, yeah, I've just got some out there ideas. I'm like, yeah, that is out there. Sounds like he just wants to talk on the phone. I got to say, I think we should do it. Yeah, I'm going to have to overrule you there. I don't see what the problem is.

Because this is the thing, we've been talking recently, we're going to go back to Sydney soon, but in the very near vicinity but in the very near future. We're trying to line it up. Last time we were up in Sydney, we did shows at the Roxbury Hotel. We had a wonderful experience there. The venue took great care of us. We filled out two shows in a

row. The perfect experience. The venue got us a lot of drinks. They gave us food. They could not have been happier. We're like, well, we found a new permanent home in Sydney. As we're walking out, the manager goes, by the way, this place is being demolished in two weeks' time. So if we want to go back to Sydney, we don't have a venue. What the fuck else are we going to do?

Let's do the rugby club. And we're getting a slab. Are you kidding me? This guy, I reckon he's been to the drunk cast or been to one of the live shows and just knows how much your fans drink and just goes, this will support our club for the rest of the year. That's what it is. I'd love to see you running around getting whipped with your own shirts.

Yeah, yeah. Exactly. See, this is all good stuff. Why don't we do it? No, I think this is six beers in Tommy Daslow talking. I think no beers in in the morning. It's not six. It's half a dozen.

I keep telling you. So, yeah, and then he sort of like – you know, I said, oh, look, I'm going to have to talk to my partner about this. And then about two, three days later he gave me an email going, look, I'm going to need your decision because we've got a board meeting coming up. I'm like, yeah, but what info do you need at your board meeting? We're going to get a free podcast coming. I mean, I know there's a slab.

I know there's a slab involved. This guy wants to walk into the meeting like he's gotten the golden goose. Like, guess what? We found these two idiot cunts who are going to come in. They're going to do this thing for free. All we've got to do is give them some of our shittest beer that's just been sitting in the fucking store forever. They're going to bring their fucking mongoloid fans in who are just going to fucking drink

all night. I didn't say that about the fans. I didn't say that. Yeah, so in any way is that – like I don't – I like the idea of like going out and doing something different. Becky's text is coming true. If you don't agree to do this, I'm out. I'm quitting the podcast.

Can I join for a while? Yes. Do you want to be on? Yeah. We've got guests now. Here we go. Josh, will you come up for it? Yeah, but you guys only want to be there for this rugby've got guests now Here we go Josh Will you come up for it? Yeah but you guys only

You guys only want to be there For this rugby club I'm not going to a rugby club No Josh We'll fly you up We'll put you up Can we fly them up?

At an all star hotel in Sydney Can you give We'll buy you your own slab as well Can you give Jetstar a slab In return for a plane trip? Is that possible? I don't think the rugby club Would really want me there Becky yes I'm sure possible? I don't think the rugby club would really want me there.

Becky, yes. I'm sure they would. I don't think they'd want me though. Greg Glasson, there you go. He's a rugby man. He'll do it. He's a rugby man? Yeah, he loves rugby. But I'm not going up and I don't think Carl's going up either. Yeah, I'm not going to.

Give me this guy's number. I'm doing the first episode of my new solo podcast it's going to be a live app do we know what suburb the rugby club is in no I don't and I think very appropriately

I don't have a lot of details because I don't want to embarrass the guy like I appreciate I appreciate Carl just doesn't want to be around men who are in proportion

like that's what a body is supposed to look like hey I'm alright I'm all right. I'm kidding. Oh, you're gorgeous. Yeah, yeah. Only because he leans forward in his gigs that the perspective is out. He looks like he's got little legs, but he's fine.

I think I admitted to Tommy one time that I thought Carl was handsome. No, didn't you? That I had a crush on him. I think when you were drunk, you told me you thought he had a nice butt. No, I didn't. Oh. No, I didn't. Maybe that was someone else.

I would never say that because I'm not like that. I don't look at bums. Or was it, did you have a sex dream about him or something? No. It was something super weird. I just said he's handsome. This is all just me. I'm projecting onto.

I've heard a few of these stories. I think I know where the bum one comes from. I've never ever said anything about his bum. Someone else. The bum thing is, isn't it that you look like you're half horse? Yeah, half centaur. A centaur with the – But the arse is not there yet.

Yeah, with the back cut off. Yeah. Yeah. Many a person – Sorry, Carl. Yeah, that's fine. That's fine. That's fine.

You know. You get one compliment and I taketh away. Yeah, yeah. That's how you guys do it. You've given yourselves a few compliments this podcast and then right at the end you take it away. Yeah, exactly. It's good.

It's the way it should be. Yeah. So let's talk a little bit about the drunk cast. Yes. If you like. I was sober. But he wasn't there. Yeah, I was at the drunk cast.

Oh, sorry. Yeah, I wasn't there. But you, yeah, okay. I was sick as. Now it's your turn to sit this story out. By the way, what were you doing during the drunk cast that was so important? Well, I was really sick and then I smoked a joint and I passed out and had a lot of funny ideas for stand-up. Give us one of them.

No, none of them are good. There's one joke where I compare rats to women. I like that a lot. Anyway, doesn't matter. You guys go. I won't ask you to do it because it will burn it on the podcast. Here's an idea I had while I was fucked up the other night. There's like when people sneeze. Let's hear about some an idea I had while I was fucked up the other night. There's like when people sneeze...

Let's hear about some ideas you're having while you're fucked up now. Yeah. There's... One of them is saying this joke on the podcast. When someone sneezes you say bless you. But when someone coughs, doesn't it feel weird that there's no like, there's not like a bless you for coughs? Yeah. I have had people...

And then just riff on that for ten minutes and then I'll find it Ending on stage It'll work itself out Yeah Hello Barry I've heard that I've had people I've coughed

And then people go Bless you I'm like No That's not it Because I just know When it happens in a show Like in a gig

If someone's like In the front And they like Cough during a bit Yeah It feels like You should say something Yeah

But then what do you Like get out Yeah Stop ruining my career Sort your say something. Yeah. But then what do you... Like get out. Yeah. Stop ruining my career. Sort your fucking self out. You're sick. In my mind, every cough is a bit fake.

Like I used to get angry at my mum. She'd always be coughing and I'm like, that's, you're faking it. They sound fake. I remember our class did it once to a relief teacher.

Like, we'd cough for a good 45 minutes. Yeah. Everyone in the class just coughing. It's just really hard to tell if a cough is really We had a relief teacher come in So

Yeah Is that what they call it? Yeah Emergency teacher No relief teacher And we just Like someone started Someone coughed

And then someone else coughed And then everyone For the next 45 minutes Just coughed And the teacher just Lost her mind She's going stop it Stop it

Next one who does that I'm getting the principal And we just coughed And coughed and coughed It was like year 5 Or something like that Just destroying this adult By just coughing

Wow I didn't think You did that stuff in year five Yeah we were like It was pretty early Yeah it was Mrs Brumby was her name She'd come in every Friday We were just

The worst worst kids The end Drunker So I was sober You guys were not Yeah Well I was sober When I got there

Because we both had our shows And then had to go straight there yeah so but by the end we were both so you're like our kind of you're like our court stenographer yeah well you remember it better than which is horrible because i sort of think you know i naturally think oh everyone's in the same state as i am but then i find out that that is not the case yeah because you would you were very drunk very early on. Right. I've noticed you're a drunk who you go from like a bit silly to just absolutely incapacitated. Really?

Yeah, yeah. You were just like, and we discussed this, like the next day you forget everything. Yeah. And my experience of you is, I mean we're jumping forward a bit, but you at the end of the show, you were fucking loopy. Really? Out of your mind.

Wow. And also you have no memory of it. Yes. Yeah. I think that's because I'm very much a beer drinker rather than anything else. And so when I have other stuff, I'm like, oh, yeah, all right. This all goes down as quick as beer. And what did you have for dinner before the gig?

I think I had something. I think I'd had food. Okay. Maybe what did you have for dinner before the gig? I think I had something. I think I'd had food. Okay. Maybe. I think I'd had food. Yeah, I think I ate. Yeah, I was okay. Maybe.

I don't remember. So I turned up at about 10.30, maybe a bit earlier, and there was a line that went out the door of the European Beer Cafe, which is like a two-storey building. It was great. Yeah, your fans were there. I'm sorry for everyone, but it was great to look at yeah so many people lined up yeah i come in i walk in from my show yeah i walk past the line i go in the door there's a security guard there and i give him a bit of a what i thought he

heard i said hey man i'm doing the thing upstairs i keep walking in i then realize he didn't hear he chases after me and goes he just grabs me in front of everyone and starts yelling at me and goes man what the fuck are you doing can't just barge in here

like this what are you doing you've got to get out there you've got to get in the line I'm like no no I'm in the show and he goes oh okay

and then everyone in the line fucking loses their mind you nearly didn't get into your own thing you rat ass idiot yeah how great would it be if you just turned around and went,

everyone laugh, get out, you're not in. Or if I just copped it, I'm like, yeah, I'm sorry, man, I've got to, all right, I'm very embarrassed and then I just went home. Yeah. So, yeah. Very guiltily, I will say this, on the way to, so the drunk cast was on late night, last night of the festival. We were doing our shows directly before,

so a lot of people had got to the gig way before we'd got there. We're still on stage while people are lining up. I heard stories that people got there three hours early and were just waiting on the staircase and the bartenders were coming along going, do you want to maybe just go and have a drink? And they're like, no, no, we're happy to sit on this stair. Like, okay, all right, you can sit there. And there was just people clogging the staircase for a couple of hours. Yeah.

Meanwhile, Becky Lucas is dupbing on and scribbling down. Why don't they make the whole planet out of the black box material? I wasn't even scribbling. I was just lying there just consumed. In my mind, I was Chris Rock. Like storming the stage. I was too. Cheech and Becky over here is just like.

So we do our gigs, our solo gigs directly before that so traditionally they're full of dumb dumb listeners my room is absolutely completely full of dumb dumb people and it's a great

it's always a great gig because people had already started drinking during the afternoon and then they come in and they don't care what's happening for most people

that would be a nightmare scenario but for you you were like yeah the best I get to fuck around be heaps looser

don't do material good yep alright I get to yell at people people heaps looser, don't do material. Good. Yep. All right. I get to yell at people. People yell at me. Great.

As long as everyone's happy. So then afterwards I'm like, you guys are all. There's a profession that's more suited to you that's not comedy, like rodeo clown or it's like the way you describe your ideal comedy gig, it's like that's not, this isn't what you should be in. You should be a prison warden when everyone's locked up. You just stand in centre court just telling them all they're a pack of cunts. I should be one of those

guys that gets up at protests and goes right, charge! You're the new Rod Quantock. So I'm doing the show and I'm saying who's coming to the drunk cast directly after this? Everyone. Great. Well you'll all get in because I've got to get in so you can all walk up with me.

So we finish the gig. Drunk with power. Yeah. We finish the gig. I'm like, come on guys. Oh man, I wish I had taken a better photo but it was literally me, the Pied Piper of dumb cunts. Like the whole... The Pied Piper. Everyone's walking up this hill all following

me and I'm like going, all of a sudden going, what am I talking about? What else is going on, guys? What are you guys up to now? Going to the drunk cars. Oh, yeah, that's right. All right. And then we get about like, I don't know, a couple hundred metres away and I'm going, that's just too weird.

I'm just going to run. So yeah, I just ran away. Just ran away. Thanks for your support, guys. Now fuck off. No, no, Thanks for your support, guys. Now fuck off. No, no, I'm fucking off. Yeah. So then I get there and then everyone joins the line.

Everyone got in. Everyone was fine. No one missed out. I did think people were going to miss out. I thought that, yeah. But then you think, no, hang on. There's a lot of people that don't want to go to a gig that starts at 11 o'clock on a Sunday night. So I did weed out the normal people.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, but we still were crazy chockers. So we – should we talk a little bit about the content? Because we wrote this – wrote, inverted commas. We had this idea of starting the gig by coming on. The idea was – and what sort of came to fruition in a way was everyone got packed in, everyone's having a great time. The music – cut the music, cut the lights.

Disco lights start going on. And then a tune starts that goes... The one I'm seeing by the village people. Yes. Had you forgotten the title? No, I just thought I'd give it a bit of juice instead of just going, here is the court notes on what happened. But then you hummed a tune that was not at all like that song.

It is completely like that. What tone deaf, man? You just went... That's it. Oh, Wonderwall started playing. Cool. Yeah, a great thing that I think was literally like you and me having a beer and you going, hey, imagine if we did this.

And then me going, yeah, let's actually do that. And then cut to me going to Rose Chong's Costume Hire in North Fitzroy. Yes. Shout out. And getting... So what it was let's actually do that. Yeah. And then cut to me going to Rose Chong's costume hire in North Fitzroy. Yes. Shout out. And getting, so what it was me, Leather Daddy. Yes. You, Navy Man. Yes.

Nick Cody, Cowboy. Yes. Josh Earl, Construction Worker. Yes. Josh Earl, by the way, the person who was going to play the Construction Worker pulls out at literally the last minute. Yep. With five minutes before the gig.

Yep. So we just have to go through who's there and just grab anyone and go hey man do you want to come and do this borderline I do it's good

I know my place not in the groups not in the birthday cake groups it's my actual group no we have to grab you and go hey man

do you want to just like we rang Becky she was too stoned she was like I'm on stage I'm killing it now so you just are putting on this costume going by the way what's this for We rang Becky. She was too stoned. She was like, I'm on stage. I'm killing it now. So you just are putting on this costume going, by the way, what's this for?

Yeah. Like you have no context for what's happening. I have no idea what's going on. So the four of us walk out. Oh, no, there's five. No, four of us come on, followed up the rear by the big Indian chief himself from the village people, Dula Rook Jai Singer. Yeah. I just realised we shouldn't be talking about

this. We might get in trouble. It's online. The thing is online. People have put videos up of the opening. Some podcasts struggle to be either racist or homophobic. It's rare to find one that does them both at the same time with such a plump. Another great thing of the podcast

was that Hughsey was there. Hughsey went on. Now, Hughsey's on the footy show, okay? Even he was shocked at the amount of racism on at the drunk house. There was not. Stop saying there's racism. There wasn't either. There is Dill dressed up as an Indian chief and he's making the jokes himself, okay? This is not like you guys.

But the look on Hughsey's face. But what jokes is he allowed to tell? He's not Native American. No okay? This is not like you guys. And the look on Hugh's face. But what joke is he allowed to tell? He's not Native American. He's not Native American, no. It's this thing of, I'm not really a sailor. I think after Sunday night I might become a full-time leather daddy. It felt real good. But it was that thing, because Hugh's was also sober because he doesn't drink,

and just his face sitting there going, because he literally walked in, and I think Dill saw him. No, Dill comes up to me while I'm on stage and goes, hey, man, Hugh's here. He really wants to get on. Hugh's here then gets on and goes, what the fuck's happening? He literally had walked in. He had a group of people coming with him, and he was trying to get them in because it was full,

and then all of a sudden he gets called up, and he's like, oh, okay, just goes on and just sits there and has no idea what is going on. Then the music starts playing again and everyone's dancing. We do the dance again. He tries to leave and Dil literally just stands in his way in between the door where he can get off. And also someone has taken the construction worker gear off you and put it on him.

I took it off because Adam Richard came on. So I took it off very early. I put my top back on. Yeah, yeah. I think he was sitting in a chair. He was sitting in a chair. And people were just draping the clothes on him and him going, okay, alright. Well, I said this on the night, but I... It was great.

It was great. I went and hired the costumes from Rose Chong's in North Fitzroy. So I go in there and I'm like, hey, man. And the guy who runs that place is an older man who is quite camp. And I go in and I'm like, hey, man, we're doing this show where five of us are going to dress up as the village people. Have you heard of them? And he's like, so he's into it immediately.

He's like, okay, you're being a cunt. I get this. This is good stuff. So we're going through all the costumes and he's like, and so what do you have everyone sizing? I'm like, I don't. Everyone's like kind of average build except for the fifth guy who's like real fucking fat.

He's like, he goes, how fat? And I go, oh, look, I'll bring up a photo of him. And so I get Dil's Twitter picture, which is the thing of him in the pool with no shirt on. I go, that's what we're dealing with. And he goes, oh. And he has to like go downstairs into like another bit to get some kind of 4XL native Indian gear that they've got going on down there.

Wow. So I go, yeah, this is Dil. He's going to be playing the Indian. And he's like, right. And I'm like, he's Sri Lankan. And he's like, so is this? I'm like, racist? Definitely.

But also probably really funny. So I think it's going to cancel itself out. It's going to be fine. Your store's not going to come under disrepute. We're definitely not going to talk about this on the podcast. So then at the end of the whole transaction, we work all the costumes out and he like had to, I don't know why he had to do this,

but he had to write down the names of each person. He wanted to know who was – the names of everyone who was wearing each – Yeah. So – So this could still end up in court. Yeah, yeah. So he's like, and who's wearing the Navy costume? I'm like, Carl.

He's like, and who's the cowboy? I'm like, Nick. And he goes, okay, and who's the Native American? I go, Dil. And he goes, okay, I'll need your phone number. And he goes, I also need a backup number in case, you know, like a work number for you or just a number of someone else who's in the cast. And you said, listen, episode 53 of the podcast.

He goes, yeah, the cast, inverted commas. And I go, oh, probably just Carl's. If you can't get on to me, he's probably the best follow-up. And he looks up at me and he goes, oh, I want a Dil. So now he's got Dil's number number and, yeah, they called me today and I missed the call. What did Dill do? What did Dill do?

What was – hang on. What's the worst thing Dill did? They called you. Oh, no, there's a pair of sunnies missing so I've got to have a look for them. But I also am kind of tempted to like just see what happens now with Dill getting harassed by Rose Chong. But then when I took the costumes back on Tuesday, I go in there and I walk in and the girl's kind of like sorting through them and she goes, oh, da, da, da.

And she goes, oh, is this party? And she goes, why has it fallen on you to bring all these back by yourself? I'm like, I don't know. I was the guy who hired them, whatever. And she goes, oh, okay. What was this? I'm like, oh, we were all dressed up the guy who hired them, whatever. And she goes, oh, okay, what was this? I'm like, oh, we were all dressed up as five of us dressed up as the village people.

And she goes, okay. And she's kind of going through it and she looks up and she goes, was this for the drunk cast? Oh, what? Oh, really? Yes. And I go, yeah, it was. And she goes, I'm a listener.

Like I recognised you when you came in and then I saw all the other names written on this form and I just put it all together. But I got really excited for a moment that the drunk cast has become like that infamous that even if you did not know anything about the podcast at all, you heard about it. It sent shockwaves through Melbourne.

So you guys played YMCA about five or six times. Yes. Did you get through it at all, the whole thing? No, because we wrote lyrics for half of it. Yeah, we wrote lyrics for the first verse, which took us like four hours. Yeah. Yeah. Because I left.

I left at the end of the drunk cast, went down to Hairy Little Sister, where a lot of the other comics were. I walk in there to just get a drink, and actually in there they're playing YMCA as well. So I actually went, fuck this. This is a sign I shouldn't be here and walk back up to you guys. I run into you, Carl, and you were like almost in tears just going, was that any good? It was the best.

And I said, no, it was great. I reassured you it was good. And you're like, I have no idea. Like I have no idea. Oh, yeah, that was the other thing. When they were cleaning the bags out at the costume shop they go oh these yours and they hand me a pair of keys with a key ring that says got him on it and i'm like oh these are my friend's keys and then i messaged you and i go this by the way this is like two days after the drunk cast yeah i'm like i've got i've got your

keys they were in the bag and you're like i was wondering where those were yeah i didn't think to ask me if i had if they had like been swept up in my stuff at any point. To me, the dust hadn't settled yet. I sort of thought this will still work itself out somehow. It could be anywhere. So, yeah, I was very happy to get them back. But to be honest, my car doesn't work anyway, so who cares? And did you lose your phone, Tommy?

No, I thought – so I woke up in the morning and couldn't find it anywhere and went, fuck, I've left it in the jacket of the Leather Daddy costume, which I'd left at the venue. That was just his excuse for sending weird texts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but then it was that thing where I was like, the venue's not going to be open until the night.

Yeah. I think it's – I'm praying that it's in that jacket. Yeah. But I don't know. So now I have this whole anxious wait of a day and then I just found it under the bed. So what a story. So we do a lot of crowd surfing.

Yes. I remember. See, here's the thing. So I was drinking spirits and- You should have come, Becky. Yeah. Next year. You know what?

Don't have that joint. I know. It's just too tight. I was sick and tired. Have it on the balcony. Yeah. Yeah. Do you guys mind if I shoot off a tweet?

Have it right now. Yeah. Yeah. Do it. I think it'd be great for me to live tweet. Do balcony. Yeah. Yeah. Do you guys mind if I shoot off a tweet? Have it. Right now. Yeah. Yeah, do it. Don't you think it'd be great for me to live tweet? Do it, yeah. What are you doing? Well, you guys just keep talking and I'll do one. No, Abbott, we'll pay you $600 to tweet about this podcast.

About the podcast. It's now 20 past 12 on an early Friday morning. So if you're listening to this, go back and see exactly what she tweeted and relive it. Are you not going to tell us? Feeling bored. Three men in my hotel room feeling very threatened. Feeling not threatened at all. The least threatened

I've ever felt in my whole life, weirdly enough. All I have to do is tell you guys you're not funny and you'd crumble. Comedians could never touch me. Really? Because of their self-esteem who's tried oh actually a few have tried okay oh i'll tell you later okay cool okay all right you know it's funny i'll do a patreon bonus app where you tell us everyone who's touched me yeah you know last time i was on this episode i vomited yes you did oh yeah and i was very

because i was really upset tonight. I had a shit gig and I honestly thought I might cry on the podcast. Oh, really? I think it would be good to do something bodily every time I'm on. Yeah. Expunge something every time. Try. Do you know why I heard –

Is the feeling to cry completely subsided or can we still get you there by the end of this ep? Is there any key keywords we could use? Just how was your gig? I heard this disgusting story. We probably cut this out. It's actually someone we know, but their girlfriend free bleeds. What?

Have you heard about this? Doesn't wear any pad. Doesn't wear any pad or tampon. When they have their period, they call it free bleeding. And she has like an office job. Wow. And she just free bleeds. And I'm like, that's outright.

I'm just like, oh, cool. I free shit. Yeah. You're not in control. That's like not a. What's a bodily. If you free bleed from your nose, that's weird. Yeah.

It's absurd. And I'm like, she works in a workplace. Like, people get angry at you if you... Yeah. If you microwave fish. Exactly. Like, there'll be a laminated sign the next day. If you're just bleeding everywhere.

Is it a decent, is it like a kind of a good office? Yeah, she's like in a very well-paid job. Really? And they're just letting her bleed around. And have you heard of this before? Like a dog on heat. Have you heard of this before as a thing? I've seen it on the internet, but I've always thought it's like radical.

It's really weird. I think it's pretty radical, TBH. I think it's weird when like anything that's kind of like a term assigned to something like that. Yeah. Where it's like someone felt the need to give this legitimacy. Yeah. People go, yeah, we're really good at saving money. We go dumpster diving. Yeah. Where it's like someone felt the need to give this legitimacy. Yeah. Some people go, yeah, we're really good at saving money.

We go dumpster diving. Yeah. It's like, nah, you're eaten out of the trash. Yeah. Like that's not a cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't try and class it up by giving it a cute little term. Yeah.

Free bleeding. Free bleed. Isn't it the worst thing you've ever heard? And I get, is it what? It's like the, what? The effect that having a – We're supposed to be like there's no stigma. I'm like, well, there is now because your blood's on my chair.

Oh, my gosh. It's like when I have a runny nose, I blow it. I feel like the drunk house – I stuff a tampon up my nose when I have a runny nose. Drunk house doesn't sound too bad after all. I know. It's good. It's good that it's in perspective now. I don't feel so

bad about it. No, I'm feeling the other way. I'm thinking Becky saying all this. I'm like, oh, so you were there. I wonder if it's one of the offices as well where you hot desk, which is just you move from desk to desk. That would be just... Just a Quentin Tarantino. Yeah. Wow. People out there

in the world where they just think like everyone... No, you know what? If you're not cool with it That's your fucking problem Yeah The worst No we're all sharing this Fucking island Yeah

Yeah it's just You're just being arrogant Yeah Oh why has society Pushed us into this It just has Yeah Just

I don't wear deodorant Well you stink So Yeah Yeah Well so Getting back to drunk ass So this is what happened

We were doing crowd surfing I I did I did it quite a few times In my memory Yeah we raced Josh and Demi Demi

Raced And you guys don't know who won right I think Demi did I think she was put down first But I think I No she was ahead And someone just dropped her

And she landed on someone's head Oh god But it was Demi So they didn't even get hurt But I was wearing quite heavy boots And I full-on kicked one of your poor listeners in the face. Like, I actually really – and it was a guy and I, like, I apologise, but I could tell he was not happy with it.

Oh. Fair enough. I'm sorry. By the way, Becky, is he doing that tweet right now? Yeah, what's your hashtag? Do you guys have a hashtag? We have a – Hashtag DumDum?

No, at DumDumClub. At DumDumClub. Oh, God. You've tweeted us trying to bring down the show. You should know what the handle is. I've got so many things on the guy. I'm trying to ruin Matt and Alex on Triple J. I mean, there's so many duos I'm trying to fuck up.

So I crowd surf at one stage. I did it quite a few times. At one stage, I did it because I'm in the sailor outfit. I don't have pockets. So I just had hold of my stuff all the time. So I crowd surfed then I've got my phone in my hand. Someone just grabs

my phone. Speaking of, tonight we did a gig where Tommy and I both were on the side. You had so much stuff jammed in the back of your pocket on your gig. I've put you up in this book. You had a roll of masking tape down your back pocket. But in that sailor outfit you were quite this book. You had a roll of masking tape down your back pocket? Yeah.

But in that sailor outfit, you were quite easily accessible. You were dacked a fair few times that night as well. I dacked you while you were on the phone to your mum. Yeah, she couldn't see that, but yeah. So someone just took the phone out of my hand. Wait, Becky started crying. I found the trigger. The image of you being dacked.

Someone just took the phone out of my hand. And so then, but like early on in the crowd surf. So the rest of the crowd surf is just me going, where's my phone? Fuck. Where's my fucking phone? They would have given it back because they would have been annoyed by the calls they were getting. That's just every drunk girl at 2am being like, my phone. Yeah.

I'm like, where's my phone? There's just always a girl trying to clear a dance floor Because she's lost her phone I was really glad I was really proud of myself When I found the phone Under the bed The next morning Because I've I've now

Held on to my track record Never lost a phone Oh really You know these people Who lose them in cabs Every six months That's me Really

Yeah I've never lost one either Yeah I don't know I don't know how you can Stand up and not You have one You got one stolen at a restaurant. I did. I like to live in the moment.

I was checking. What's that mean? I'm tweeting. I like tweeting right now. I was getting out of the cab and tweeting and it just slipped out of my hand and fell into the gut, like down the drain. And I could still see it glowing up at me but I just couldn't reach it. I was right outside the front of my house. Had you hit

send on the tweet? No. Brutal. I think I was just checking stuff but it was just out there and it was like, I got Bec to call it to try and, that's my wife, to try and light it up so I had tongs and all this stuff just couldn't and then it was really wet as well and then it was like nah, that's it, it's done. Wow.

So close but so far. Yeah, it was just out the front of my house. Just there it is. Oh, really? At the front of your house? That fucking drain. That sucks. That doesn't count as a lose, though. No, I literally lost it.

So you get out of a cab and it's just gone. Yeah, I lost. Even in Melbourne Comedy Festival, I bought a brand new T-shirt, left it in the cab. The day my tech gave me. Well, you just hop out of the cab topless and then get in here. No, I was in a bag. Not everyone you just hop out of the cab topless and then get in here. No, I was in a bag. Not everyone wears their clothes out of the shop they buy.

I have free blood all over this. Please, just let me buy some new pants. I just lose my mind a bit, you know. How many new replacement phones would you say? How many phones have you lost? Countless. Really? Oh, phones have you lost? Countless. Really? Oh, no, probably like seven.

Wow. Yeah. Countless if you're really dumb. Countless if you're three. The number of beers I had tonight. The number of pints I had before this podcast. You don't seem that drunk. Yeah, I'm holding it together pretty well.

You seem pretty happy. I like it. I'm liking it too, man. It's like a, you know, I'm pretty piss fit at the moment. It's, you know, it's a must have. This is how Fiona O'Loughlin started. Everyone's like, oh, no, it's fun. You're fun.

Yeah, keep drinking. It's good. And then Australian story later. You'd love that exposure. Being on Australian story. Yeah. Yeah. You'd ham it up.

I've had cancer. Now I'm gone bald. Where's my Australian story? You should not drink. You seem more fucked up when you're sober. Like right now you seem really normal. Yeah. You seem quite confident. I like bald. Where's my Australian story? You should not drink. You seem all fucked up when you're sober. Like right now you seem really normal. Yeah, you seem quite confident. I like it.

Yeah, you're really confident. It's a bit of Dutch carriage. Yeah, okay. What? That's a term. No, you're right. For a second I went, that's not a term. But then I remembered.

Tell me where it's from though. I dare you. Where was it from? Tell me where the expression Dutch carriage comes from. Because it's one of those things we'd say, but it's obviously a war term. Is it? I don't know.

It must be like, oh, the Dutch invaded. Did you just say, I dare you? What a wild dare. I dare you. I dare you to have some basic historical knowledge. How about for the last ten minutes of this podcast, let's just play truth or dare. Oh, my God, do you want to?

Yeah. It's weird how it's like, because for us it's so late. It does feel like this is a thing that no one's ever going to find out about. It's 12.30, we're in a hotel room, it's good. Yeah, spin the bottle. Hey, what about this? Hey Becky, Truth, do you want these guys to leave?

Yes. Truth or Dare, Truth, how was your gig tonight? Yeah, what's better? This or your gig tonight? Yeah, what's better, this or your gig tonight? Definitely this. Turn on the waterworks. I'll cry later when you guys clear out. Yeah, cool.

All right, well, that's as good a time as any to wrap it up. That's the signal our guests give us every week to wrap up the podcast. Josh Earle, Becky Lucas, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you. Josh Earle, you have your podcast, Don't You Know Who I Am. Yeah, it just wrapped up. If you never listened to it, go back. Episode 42 has Becky on it.

It's a really good one. And you do seasons. So you've got, what, five? Four or five? Five seasons now. Five seasons now. It's very funny. We've both been, yeah, everyone here has been on it.

Everyone's been on it. It's great. I enjoy it a lot when I go on there. Becky, what have you got? Sydney? Oh, no, this might be, that might be done by the time this comes out. Oh, no, I'm not doing Sydney for a while. Becky, what have you got? Sydney? Oh no, this might be that might be one by the time this comes out. I'm not doing Sydney for a while. Oh, okay.

Because I go to Perth and then New Zealand and then Sydney. Oh, okay. Well, there'll be a chance to see... Is it? Yeah,.au. And you've got a newsletter. Do you have a newsletter? By the way, you were very angry at us when we started sending out a monthly magazine to the Patreons of subscribers. Yeah, you stole my idea.

We've jacked your idea. Yours is way better. You wrote something for the last one. I did. Yeah, that was fun. But yours is much better. It's really cool. Thanks, man.

Mine's just me talking. The week this comes out, I'm in Adelaide. You're in Adelaide. Oh, yes. Doing the runner show. So come and see me. Great. Come see Adelaide.

Let's go and see Joshy. They're really good at getting out to see stuff over there. Yeah, yeah. Book in advance. Guys, we've got t-shirts and hoodies and stuff on sale at the website. We've also got the Patreon. You can get bonus episodes. You can get the aforementioned magazine that we put out every month.

Exactly. And get on all our social medias because by the time this episode comes out, we may well have announced a 300th episode. So keep a big old eye out for that. Well, if we've announced it, we'll have done an ad and we'll have been at the start. So this will be bunk. So there'll be a 300th episode coming out that we're going to go and do in Melbourne that we're aiming to have as our biggest show ever.

And the last show. Can I just say, I was witness to a great fan of yours come up to Tommy and say, so what are you doing for the, when's the 300? What are you doing for the 300? And Tommy just went, well, it's, what's this, 290? It's in 10 episodes. It's in 10 weeks' time then. And he was like, oh, I'm coming down from Cairns.

I was like, yeah, well, it's 10 weeks. Just do the math. It was great. Final plug for me. Go out there, have six beers. Makes you feel great. Makes you really confident. Everyone should stop listening to this podcast.

I just want to say that. Everyone stop. Unsubscribe. Is this an ad? Are we getting paid for this? I'm paying her $600 to do this. Yeah, because you're getting too confident. So everyone stop listening and then maybe Tommy will treat you nicely.

Then he can't afford the six beers. It will be back to normal Thanks very much For listening guys And we'll see you next time See you next The best episodes Of winning

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