The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 322 - Hannibal Buress & Xavier Michelides

Episode Date: December 6, 2016

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Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, two dickheads were recording a podcast. Carl, do you get what I'm saying to you? Do you understand what I'm talking about? Hmm, I need another clue. Uh, ooh, um, another clue that's not Christmas. Uh, uh, content. Hmm, one more. Uh, us taking people's money. Oh, I like the sound of that. Losers with no family or friends to do anything with on Christmas Eve.

Hey, hey, they could be losers that have had their parents tragically killed as well. No, I'm talking about us. Oh, okay. Yes, we are doing a live episode on Christmas Eve in Melbourne. So if you are someone who maybe you're from interstate, maybe you're coming in from interstate, maybe you don't have plans Christmas Eve, come down and hang out with us, a bunch of other listeners, some friends of the show.

I think it's going to be cool. I mean, it's going to be a different vibe. It's going to be a fun little atmosphere where it's like, you know what, the people who come to the show, man. It's going to be a different vibe. It's going to be a fun atmosphere for once. It's really going to be, you know, fuck, you know, you've got no other option that night, do you?

Yeah. So the people that come with us, they're going to be fucking very lonely. Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it too. It's going to be, I always like the vibe on Christmas night, sorry, Christmas Eve. Yeah. It always feels like a bit of a shame to not go out and do something. Yeah, well, it used to be that thing of, I don't know if you were the same. Did you, on Christmas Eve, I know it's different because you've grown up in the city.

You're a little Melbourne boy. Silverspoon lodged right up my ass. Yeah, exactly. So did you ever catch up with old school friends or whatever? They're always close to you anyway. Yeah, like on Christmas Eve. No, I don't really. We used to get dragged to like a family friend's house that

I did not like doing. And then then other than that i usually i usually just go to my my parents house right have christmas eve there stay the night pretty dull but not this year fuck you mom and dad you know what's great around that time of year no cars on the roads i'm gonna try and get a park right out the front of the venue you know i like that's i like that all with all those holidays i like to get out early in the day and just look up and down the street and go a bit of vanilla sky happening here. Yes, it's great, isn't it?

Maybe we should do that at the end of the gig. We'll get all the audience together and we'll just go for a big old run down Swanston Street. I've thought about that before. What? Going for a run down Swanston Street? Yeah, let's just have a race or something. Okay, why not? So yeah, tickets are on sale for that now, littledumbdumbclub.com, December the 24th,

the European Beer Cafe. It's going to be a lot of fun. We've got some great guests actually locked in who are going to be in town, who've said they'll come down and do something with us. Great. And yeah, it's just going to be a fun little evening. It's not going to be as manic as some of our live shows end up being,

I dare say. I think we're going to do it downstairs. Yeah. So I think we're going to have a slightly smaller capacity as well. So if you've got interest, you know, plenty of people are going to have better things to do on Christmas Eve and that's completely fine. But the people who don't, man, it's going to be fun. Yeah.

Yeah. A perfect option. Also, our season passes have just gone on sale for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. We're doing every Sunday 3pm at the European Beer Cafe which is pretty much the exact same thing that we did last year. So they're on sale now. It gets you all four of those

podcasts plus entrance to the drunk cast on the final night of the festival. A lot of people snapping them up actually. They're selling like bloody hotcakes down there. That's great because if you've been or even if you've just listened from home you know that during the festival we get awesome guests that we don't have other times of the

year and we've always got great lineups and there's a lot of different people in town to choose between so heaps and heaps of fun always very full. Man, you know what? Our numbers always just keep going up and up and up so I reckon this will be the time where we sell out every show. Yeah, yeah. And the season passes are going very quickly

you know, it's that time of the year. They make the perfect Christmas present for the complete fuckhead in your life. Imagine getting that as a present if you'd never heard the podcast. And I just thought about it. It's like, as a gift, it's like, all you get is confirmation. It's like, you don't get tickets posted to you or anything. It's just an email. So you're just printing that off and going,

happy Christmas, cunt. Yeah. Fuck. I might get you one. Just go for it I'll take I get a bit of money out of that I get half of my own money back So that's fine That is the ideal stocking stuffer

We both win out of that Fuck, I might get you ten Well, how's this? This is a little bit of A little bit of content That we usually save for the episode I'll say it now So you know how I've been sort of complaining about

Where I live? Everything. Yes. Well, here's one of them. Where I live, there's a post office and the post office is a bit of a sticky beak. Yep, yep, yep. And he's always – and he wants to know – he's got a bit of knowledge of Dr. Dr. Ramsey and all that sort of stuff.

Oh, yes, yes, yes. So any time I go up, he's always giving it a bit of, why aren't you at work? And I'm sending out – That's great. Sending out parcels. And like he's saying, oh aren't you at work? And, you know, I'm sending out parcels. And like he's saying, oh, what time you were? You know, a lot of questions. You know, very sticky notes, as I've talked about many times.

Anyway, I get a text the other day from a guy who's like, so that post office that you're talking about, is that in Hawthorne, the corner of Dirt and Dirt? Corner of Riversdale and Glenferry? Give out your exact address. I don't live in the post office. It's fine. And I have moved house.

Give out your old address. Fuck it. All right. Unit 7. No, fuck no. Something will happen. Yeah, you're right. You're right.

It seems like one of those things that's easy to think. There's no reason not to. Yeah. No. You nearly got me. Okay. Fuck. So I'm not far away from there anyway.

I've just moved down the street. So – Give out that address. No. No. So that post office, right. So I get the text. It says, is that the post office you're talking about,

Corner Riversdale and Glenferry? And I go, yeah. And he's like, yeah. And it's got the older Asian guy running it. And I'm like, yeah, yeah. He's like, yeah, and he's like, yeah, and it's got the older Asian guy, you know, running it. I'm like, yeah, yeah. He's like, yeah, I think that's my dad. So.

Like he thinks that he's like, I think you're talking about my dad or he knows specifically who you're talking about and he's decided, I never knew my father growing up. I know he left when I was young. I think that man in there might be my father. No, I much more like the idea that he's like, you couldn't be more specific. Are you talking about the post office on the corner of Riversdale Road

and Glenferry, the post office on that corner, and it's an old Asian guy? Yes. I think out of the two people that work there, one's a woman and one's a man. Well, yeah, I think that's your dad, the male. I mean, to be fair, for anyone who's interstate or overseas listeners, they won't know that that stretch of Riversdale Road is the post office mile. So there are about 18 of them next door to each other.

So you could be talking about any one of them. Yeah, it's like Vegas. There's a lot of post office themed casinos in there. Yeah, so he's, man, fuck, what are the odds? That guy's son is a listener. Yeah, that's great. Very funny. I wonder if he's going to rat you out to his dad,

like start playing this. I'm never going back, so it doesn't matter. I'm literally never going back. You're finding your post office. Yeah. What were we talking about? Yeah, season passes, get them, littledumbdumbclub.com. We've sort of got to limit them, don't we?

Yeah, I guess so. Because, yeah, we've sold quite a lot so far. Fuck, have we? littledumbdumbclub.com. We've sort of got to limit them, don't we? Yeah, I guess so. Because, yeah, we've sold quite a lot so far. Fuck, have we? Yeah, we've sold three. Awesome. It's a five-seater. So, guys, you've been warned. You've been warned, guys.

There's maybe only one left, I think, by my calculations. Yeah, pretty much. So, also, the Patreon, you can subscribe and support this show through patreon.com slash little dum-dum club and you get rewards. We send out a newsletter that we do up each month. And let's underline that. You're chucking your coin in to support the show.

You get the show every week for free and you enjoy that and you want to help us, keep us in this lavish lifestyle that we've become accustomed to. So if you want to do that and plus then you get your bonus. It's not like a thing where some people chuck in like two cents and then one day later like, how come I haven't been fucking sold the gold bullion? You promised everyone. Well, but as we've said, I mean that's the idea is that it's meant

to just support an already existing thing and then the rewards are little bonuses. But as we've said multiple times, the bonuses that we do are so much work that it feels like we're just being paid to do that. Yeah, yeah, exactly. At not a very good rate. Yes, I know. Fuck, it's taken...

It takes so much fucking time. Those magazines take so long. Oh, man. But, you know... We're going to have to start being shitter at our job. I know, yeah. That's what I say. But we do get a lot of emails back from people

saying that they really enjoy the magazine. So it's nice to know that the people that do get it, read it and really enjoy it. I do drawings for it every month. Your drawings are excellent. Take fucking forever. I hate doing them. But this is like what – there's a big chunk of my life where,

you know, once a month, about a week, is me drawing up fan art about myself and my weird old friend that I get paid to do. Like, what a fucking bizarre life. Yeah. But it is cool to know that people read it and enjoy it. It's often,

let's try and describe it for people who don't get it to try and, you know, try and talk it up a little bit. Little bonus articles. I draw little comics that are often little kind of extensions of in-jokes

from this show. Yeah, you draw the cover. There's a lot of, sometimes some guests chuck in little articles and stuff like that. But mostly it's me and you just trying to think of funny – it's like a Dum Dum themed Mad magazine every month. This month there was a comic strip of you as the new King of Thailand.

Yeah. Fuck, don't say that. Why? I'm scared. People have scared me about the whole thing about the death of the King of Thailand and whatever. People are fucking scaring me that I'm going to get, you know, next time I go, I'm going to get deported. I'm going to get in trouble or whatever.

If what we said on this show mattered at all, we would have much bigger problems than just the country of Thailand. No, but they're a lot more santo-tiff than some countries. Oh, wow. They're sensitive now, are they? Well, yeah, look, they're serious about their royalty. They're very big fans. They're not like us. You know, we live in a place where you can absolutely take the piss out of absolutely everything.

Just take the bloody mickey out of people. Yeah, it's like, yeah, but those guys, you know, fair enough. They're a little bit more serious about stuff. But I just don't want to, yeah, I don't want to go to a Thai prison. You do have a vested interest in being allowed into the country. Yeah, and I do like going to Thailand. There's just certain little places I don't want to, yeah, I don't want to go to a Thai prison. You do have a vested interest in being allowed into the country. Yeah, and I do like going to Thailand. There's just certain little places I don't want to stay in and that's the big house. Whatever Thai for the big house is.

What a boon for content that would be for this podcast if you got locked up in a Thai prison. Man. I'm having to come and do episodes. I'm having to fly over every week and do episodes of this show from the meeting room. Exactly. And plus, I don't know if I've said this on the show,

but when we were talking about doing the Thailand idea, which is still on the boards, and my aim is to push it through somehow to get it through the... It's on the whiteboard at Dumb Dumb HQ. Yeah.

To get it through the upper house, I'm trying to push it through, and we go mid next year. Like that's... Guys out there, if you're listening, the pencil, pencil it so lightly. Barely touch the paper with your pencil.

There's a big whiteboard that currently has two things on it. Live podcast from Thailand and killing ourselves. So it's just a race to. That's been put in permanent marker though, the second one. So. Patreon. No, the Thailand trip. Just to knock that off briefly, that idea.

When we were talking about it, when we started to talk about it, I did mention it to Lawrence Mooney. And just as an idea, I didn't invite him. I just said, oh, yeah, we just had this idea about going to Thailand. And I reckon I said four more words. And he goes, I'm in. I'm in. And I went – and that was that wild swing Where I was like

You know for the first couple of seconds I was like filled with adrenaline Like a tiny bit of adrenaline Going oh fuck Moody coming with us to Thailand And then straight after that I was like We're going to jail

Someone's dying Yeah I think Moody wants to go over there Do a bit of quote unquote Duty free shopping If you know what I mean Yeah duty Duty free

No duties Yeah, so I went from adrenaline to go Oh, excited And then him And then thinking Fuck, we're going to die Go to jail I was like scared

And then about five seconds later again It was like adrenaline again Because I'm like Fuck, sweet content Yeah, totally Totally That's fun Like he's in his 50s

Like imagine being a 50-something year old man And having that as your reputation I don't know Is that good or bad? People being scared to travel with you Is that good or bad? I don't know Like, he's in his 50s. Like, imagine being a 50-something-year-old man and having that as your reputation. I don't know. Is that good or bad? People being scared to travel with you. Is that good or bad? I don't know.

He's living a rich and full life. Totally. It definitely doesn't follow the prescribed pattern that you're led to believe when you finish high school is what you should do with your life. Plenty of people get married and they're acting like they're 50 at age 28 or something. Yeah, totally. So, he's had two marriages, two kids,

and he's still carrying on like he's at a fucking blue light disco. It's amazing. I love it. Okay, so, yeah, pencil the Thailand trip in, yeah, middle of next year. Keep it, yeah, just blanket all of June. Will you still enjoy it after going five more times between now and then? What do you think? Absolutely.

I'm waiting for the time where it actually wears off and you step off the plane and you know immediately you're like, oh, I broke Thailand. I don't think it – you know what? Every time I've gone, I've got to the end and gone, yeah, look, I probably won't go again next time. I've had a really good time but why would I come back here? And then it takes me about three weeks and I go, no, I reckon I't go again next time I've had a really good time But why would I come back here And then it takes me about three weeks And I go nah I reckon I could go again

It comes back I need to go to Thailand Anonymous You're going to need to go to Thailand Anonymously If you keep carrying on that way on the podcast Yeah So the Patreon Patreon.com slash little dumb dumb club part of it is for two dollars or more we read your name out on the show are we gonna are we gonna update

that to five i think we should bump everything up yeah no not everything but let's yeah too many people i don't know two bucks two bucks a month and then yeah i reckon we should make it five maybe we'll make it five okay fuck it yeah um we should make it five. Maybe we'll make it five. Okay. Fuck it. Yeah. We should make it, you don't get your name read out until you chip in 50. No way. We'd have no more intros. Great. And people would like that. Yeah, exactly.

So what have we got? Who have we got to say thank you? Oh, we're doing some thank yous. Yeah. Let's do some thank yous. Let's look through the... Let's dig into Santa's naughty and nice list and see who we've got. All right.

Let's do a few. All right. What have we got to play with here? This has only gone for 15 minutes so far, so we've got a lot of padding to do. Sorry, guys. I promise there's another hour in this. Hey, thank you to Patreon subscribers Rory Livett.

Patreon subscribers? Oh, well, with a comma. Oh, okay. So this is the one of... I thought Rory Livett was that... You meant that he was like a conglomerate. That's like four So this is the one of... I thought Rory Livet was that... You meant that he was like a conglomerate. That's like four people contributing under the one name. Yeah. Putting their resources.

He sure livets a rich life. He subscribes many times. Don't live it yourself to just $2. Chip in more. Yes. Rory. If you ever stop donating, I'll be bloody Livet. If you ever quit Patreon, I no longer have the...

Will to live it? The will to live it. Fuck! Live it, live it. I'm a generous frog. No, live it, live it. I'm an amphibian that lives in a fucking pond that hasn't killed itself. Live it, live it.

I'm a frog that's not going to jump off the West Gate. Thanks, Rory. Thanks, Liv-O. All right. Fuck, I hope everyone's as fun as that one. Thank you, too. Bridie McKenzie. Bridie McKenzie.

Big old macker. Big macker. Big MCK. Bridie. Bridie. Bridie McKenzie Big old macker Big macker Big MCK Bridie Bridie Bridie to be Bridiezilla Yeah Little red bridieing hood

It's Fuck Bridie I'm trying I'm just doing what I can It's good It's um Why didn't we get cast for

Fuck I can't remember the name of it No, it's good. It's good. Why didn't we get cast for... Fuck. I can't remember the name of it. Whose line is it anyway? Whose line is it anyway? I think I just answered my own question. So you don't know the name of it and you're not even good enough to improvise it.

That would be great. That would be great. A bit of No end A bit of no end I don't remember Random Random selection improv Where it's just people

Shitting themselves Okay you're at the beach And you're spies Go Um Um That's a What's the name of this thing again?

A seashell Okay Good I'll take it from here Which beach? Okay Thanks Bridie Thanks Bridie Thank you to

Ashley Collins That's Ashley It's A-S-H-L-E-I-G-H Oh yeah That's the female The female of the Ashleys I believe Are you sure?

No you get Ashley Spelled the other way as well Is it a girl's name? Oh yeah Well you don't get a male Ashley spelled that way That's true Yeah that's true I Yeah, that's true.

I'm sure there's some out there. I'm sure there's not. Nah, man. Parents are doing fucking weird things these days. I guarantee you there's someone out there with that name. Oh, bloody, what are they doing? What are they sort of calling their kids now after? They're naming their kids after where they consummated their kid, eh?

Yeah, that's why my name's fucking... Up the bum. Thanks, Up. Oh, Colo. Thanks, Colo. Thank you to another... Oh, he is the second female Patreon subscriber in a row. Busting that horrible cliche that I made up a couple of weeks ago.

Breaking the glass ceiling like a certain piggy bank that you're chipping into to give us money. Throwing your change at the ceiling and busting it through. Thank you to Catherine Gately. Catherine Gately. Yeah. Gately. Yes.

Opening the gate of the bank account and money just fucking pouring out into our little pockets. I say Catherine the Great. Good on you, Catho, for swinging some coin our way. Yeah, very good. Thanks, Cath. Thanks, Gately. Thank you to Jason Fazino.

Fazino. Bit ethnic. Fazino likey. No, that's the wrong ethnic. I don't know. Again, I'm trying. F. I don't know. Again, I'm trying. Yeah.

A bit of... Fizzino, more like Fizzy, yes. Oh, yeah. Please, I'll take some of your money. There you go. A bit of Jason Cazino. He's just hit the lottery and given it all to us. Snake eyes. I think I'm back in Thank God You're Here.

Oh, no, fuck. What's the name of it again? Your version of Thank God You're Here is no fuck What's the name of it again Your version of Thank God You're Here Is oh fuck You're here They should reboot that And it's real gritty So people walk through the door

And all the characters In the scenario Just fucking hate the person Yeah Oh fuck No you get to do Whatever you want Like it's real no end

So you're walking Through the door And it's like Someone's going Thank God You're Here And I'm like, fuck this. I'm fucking leaving. And then they have to do the impro to give you a reason to not leave.

Yeah, yeah. Because I'm like, I've got better things to do than be in some shit improv show. Wow, that's great. So you walk through the door and they're like, thank God you're here. And you're like, no, I'm not. Yeah. And then, yeah, they have to keep me in the room. That's great.

Yeah. I like it. Let's pitch this. And then audition for it and not get on it. Yeah. Our own show. Yeah. Why don't we have a TV show?

Fuck, I've been thinking that. I've been thinking that. Why don't we have anything going on, Carl? Yeah. Let's get a TV show. That's my goal for 2017. Let's get a TV show. Okay, let's do it.

Let's actually do it. You know what? This is what happens in the world of comedy. A lot of people don't know this. A lot of people get these grants and get a bit of funding and whatever.

A lot of them are people that are not as good as us. Yes. In my humble opinion. We're better than a lot of people out there. A lot. Sure, yeah.

I'm prepared to say that. I mean, in comedy, on the street, whatever. I'm better than some people at comedy. Yeah. That's not too big of a statement.

Well... Oh, come on, mate. Bit of banter. Just a little bit of banter. Don't fucking say that. I don't like that word. Me either. I've started doing it as a parody of people who do that.

And I'm drifting into it just being genuinely what I'm doing. Don't do that. But how rank is it? It's so fucking bad. Yeah, it's shit. I don't like it. Anyway, let's get back onto our TV show. Tommy and Carl's banter.

No. Top bants. No, shut up. Fuck,'t like it. Anyway, let's get back onto our TV show. Tommy and Carl's banter. No. Top bants. No, shut up. Fuck, I hate it. Really? Yeah, it's really annoying me. Yeah. It's like a, it's a very old word that someone's just decided.

Oh, yeah, that's a word we say. It's back in a big way. Yeah, it's fucking shit. Yeah. Anyway. Anyway. I only say things that I say are cool. I mean, this audition for our TV show, this is great.

This is at one, a dissection of the word banter and why it's no good. It's a show about nothing. It's a show about two cunts who have nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a show about two guys whose talent is nothing. That should be the tagline of the show. It's taken us six years and we finally worked out the elevator pitch for whatever the fuck this is.

Yeah, yeah. We go into Channel 9 and go, for whatever the fuck this is. Yeah, we go into Channel 9 and go, what's the pitch? Well, guys, we're shit. Imagine. Imagine being us. Yeah, and it's like, oh fuck, that pitch a show about nothing sounds real good at the moment. So, yeah, we should have a TV show.

Let's try and get it to happen for 2017. Now, do you want to read one last Patreon name out? Sure, let me just look at what the last Patreon name is. Let me just have a deep look at the list that I've got here. Just go really deep in there. I mean, I'm just getting to the bottom of it. There should be one more here. Okay.

Tommy, are you sure you don't have – you can't see one. I can't see. I don't want to look over your shoulder. Okay. Tommy, are you sure you don't have, you can't see one. I can't see. I don't want to look over your shoulder. Fuck. Fuck, I should have organised this before I got here.

So you can't see anything on your list there. No, I mean, I could get my phone out and have a look if you really want. I mean,

we are at the beach and we are spies. What? Oh, is this improv? We're improvising right now. Oh, okay, great. We're in the middle of improvisation.

No wonder you hate banter. You're no good at it. I like to call it something else. That's all. If I thought it was being called something else, I would be good at it. I'd be great at it. I'd be doing great at it right now. Okay, I've got one here.

Oh, you've got one? Okay. In the $69 category. Wow. Have we got one of them? What you've got one. Okay. In the $69 category. Wow. Have we got one of them? What do you get for $69 a month? We should put something up for $69 now that I think of it. Well, if you go there, we've already got for $2,000 you get to fuck us.

$2,000 is you fuck both of us and $3,000 is you fuck one of us. It's more to separate us because we don't want to be apart. What if we should do $69 we take you out for dinner? Don't we have that already? One of them is yeah one of them is like

we'll have Maccas with you. Let's do a $69 the dinner for two special. Alright, alright. For $69 we take you to McDonald's. Okay, cool. Our shout, a value meal.

Because like But it's just one of us. It's you and one of us because otherwise it's not dinner for two. Oh. Fuck. But who's going one of us. It's you and one of us because otherwise it's not dinner for two. Oh. Fuck. But who's going to do it

out of me and you? Well, we'll split it up. I'll do, like, I'll do one and then you do one. Oh,

okay. Yeah. We're not going to get more than one. It's better time management that way. We're not going to get more than one.

Well, we can, they can pick who they want. You only get one of us at a time. What about this? They're allowed to come along. It's dinner for two

because we're eating but they're not allowed to eat. They buy us dinner at McDonald's. Well, they're buying us dinner with the $69. We're taking it out of that. Oh, yeah, okay. And we're eating off that. They can come along and watch. Yeah, great.

No, they don't want that. And then they give us fellatio while we give them fellatio. Oh, yeah, yeah, all right. All right. Yeah, let's get rid of the dinner. Thank you, too. Yes. Sh right. Yeah, let's get rid of the dinner. Thank you to... Yes. Shove...

Yes. Your veiny dick into the back of my throat. Okay, right. Okay. That's all... That's two... That's... Shove's the first name.

Shove and then middle name your. Right. And then... They put their middle name in there. Yeah, they put their middle name in there. That's pretty weird, isn't it? Most people don't tend to do that. Some people are just very proud of their middle name.

I mean, what would it be? Shove veiny dick into the back of my throat well sort of sounds it's a bit it's sort of just yeah yeah flow very well yeah and and there's probably someone already out there called that it's like a bit of a you know michael j fox thing he's already a michael fox out there so michael j fox yeah yeah and it makes that original name it makes shove veiny cock into the back of my throat. It finally makes that a bit interesting. Yeah. If you have the middle name in there. Totally.

It's a bit more, it's a bit of an affectation. I think it's maybe a little bit over labored, but you know, whatever. I think it's cool. Maybe their granddad's name was your, that's that thing,

you know, in honor of him. Yeah. In honor of the great man. Yeah. In honor of granddad, your, and what would his last name...

His full name is Yordick in the back of my throat. But maybe the names change through marriage and stuff like that. Oh, so what... If we got a subscriber with the name Yore, what would you guess that the last name would be? If we got a subscriber with the first name Yore? yeah what would i guess their last name what sort of last

name do you think would go if like if you were going to name a kid y'all what would you want your last name to be it really compliment doesn't work like that you make up your first name you don't make up your second name you fucking idiot you're terrible at this yeah but i'll do the lifting for you yeah Yeah, but your fucking version of improv is, right, we're on the moon. Do you want to fuck this cow? It's like, that doesn't make sense. Say yes. You have to say yes to it.

You say yes to fucking the cow. It's not my fault that you're going, no, I don't want to fuck the cow. And now we're on the moon. A cow's not being fucked. The audience is bored. Channel 9 aren't picking up the show. Your pussy smells fantastic is what I would have said.

This is all part of our new improv show. Thank God you're dead. Anyway, the little dum-dum club TV show, 2017. Let's make it happen. Just in time for summer. I reckon summer next year. Oh yeah, okay. Summer fill-in.

Non-ratings period. Exactly. All the shitty shows they put on in summer, let's aim to be – because that's my aim. My aim is just to be unsuccessful at a more successful medium of showbiz. Yes. Like, you know, I know we've got this podcast, and it's going well for a podcast.

I want to go badly as a TV show or a radio show. Which is probably still better – yeah, which is still better fiscally than doing very well at a podcast. I want to go badly as a TV show or a radio show. Which is probably still better, yeah, which is still better fiscally than doing very well at a podcast. I would love, my dream is to have

a TV show or a radio show where someone comes in and goes, sorry, but this is not raining. Sorry, we're giving you the ass.

That's it. And your payout's only 200 grand. It's like, fuck yes. We're still in contract. We get the sweet money. We get content

to talk about on the show. The dream. So good. The actual dream. Yeah, to get fired and paid out. Yeah, so good. Okay, so. This is not the best pitch to a possible employer, but anyway.

We're running a bit of an inside scam here, guys. If you could just help us in. Just keep it down. Step one. Keep it down. Don't be telling everyone. Okay, so littledumbDumbClub.com For tickets to those shows

For the link to the Patreon If you want to chip in And get all that sweet extra content And support the show We've also got the Burger t-shirts Back on sale After a long absence

And racing out the door We're getting more printed So yeah Get on it Get onto our website That's got everything Get onto our social media Because that's

Where we have A lot of links To new things New developments A lot of funny Little visual gags And stuff During the week

That we chuck up Bits and pieces A lot of news Including Look Social media Will be the first place On Facebook

On Instagram On Twitter First place we'll go to When we confirm These upcoming shows In Believe it or not Adelaide

And Brisbane We want to do them Early in next year We want to come back will go to when we confirm these upcoming shows in, believe it or not, Adelaide and Brisbane. We want to do them early in next year. We want to come back to Sydney as well. Like we said, we've already definitely got the season tickets at the moment for the Melbourne Comedy Festival shows, but we will have individual tickets coming up soon-ish. But at the moment, we'll announce that on social media, but at the moment is your season ticket, so get onto that.

We'll also have a little – let's not reveal this quite yet, but we'll have an extra little show. Remember when – do you remember this, Tommy? Do you remember when I had my birthday show this year? Yeah, vaguely. Yeah, and there was a bit of a roast attached and all that. Yeah, well, look, we're looking at doing another. Me and my partner in the podcast, we're looking at doing another one of those.

Yes. Yes. Yeah. So that will be announced. Late night, yeah, late night little extra show. Yeah, a late night, again, unrecorded show. This will be a big one. Like I can see this being a real tradition because the roast, man,

the roast is just right up our alley, isn't it? So we're planning on doing another one on there. We don't want to announce it quite yet. But it's during the Comedy Festival. It may sway you into, if you're interstate, it may sway you into deciding which week you come to Melbourne for the Comedy Festival and that sort of stuff.

Yeah, so keep an eye out for that. That will be really fun. We'll also have our solo show tickets on sale pretty soon, I'd say. I think mine may already be up at this point. But we're going to do – this is the first time we've ever done this. You and I are doing our solo shows back-to-back in the same venue. Yes. And then on Sundays after the podcast, we'll do our shows like right after that.

So this is going to be, for the first ever time, actually easy for you to come and see our stand-up. We know that's the only reason you haven't been packing us out every night. Just the difficulty of having to go to two different venues. So literally during the week, you can come and see us at European Beer Cafe. And this is a long way out, so let's not push it too hard. But we're back to back during the week. And then on Sundays, the podcast at 3 o'clock.

And then you get to see us at, if you want to see our solos, at like 4.30 and 5.30 that sort of time yeah but all details will be on the website they'll be on the social media so get on to that

our numbers go up and up every year so it'll be great to yeah great to see you but that's quite a while away that's in March and April so plenty of plenty of news

plenty of shows to come in between that we've got the Christmas show we've got Adelaide we've got Brisbane potentially Sydney but looking forward to getting back to Brisbane in particular yeah it's've got the Christmas show, we've got Adelaide, we've got Brisbane, potentially Sydney. But looking forward to getting back to Brisbane

in particular. Yeah, it's been too long. A lot of people hitting us up about Brisbane. People are frothing on it. Oh, and we want to go back to Hayar Bar as well. We've just got to confirm that.

But that's a fucking sweet venue. Yep. Alright, so keep an eye out for all that stuff, all the social medias, littledumbdumbclub.com is the place to go for all that stuff.

That's all we've got to say, isn't it? Yeah. Enjoy this. I mean, if you're a all that stuff. That's all we've got to say, isn't it? Yeah. Enjoy this. I mean, if you're a fan of Hannibal Buress and this is your first time, I hope you've enjoyed

listening to this for half an hour before you get to the real meat on the bone. Yep. But this is a great episode. Enjoy this with Xavier Michaelides and Hannibal Buress. Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little dum-dum club for another week.

Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Daslow and sitting next to me is the other half of the show, Carl Chandler. G'day dickhead. We love this, don't we? We're recording in a hotel. It's so fucking good. Man, hotels are the best thing ever. This is like a weird designer boutique hotel that we're in.

You're sitting in a bathtub, basically. Yeah. Well, let's introduce our guests today. First of all, you know him from Broad City, from the Eric Andre Show. Hannibal Buress, everyone. Hello. Hey. This is the hotel, your hotel room that we're in.

We're in it. Thank you. I saw when we went downstairs when you met us in the lobby. You tried to get us into a room somewhere else in the hotel to do this, didn't you? Well, I tried to see if we could get a conference room because Xavier's here. It's a fourth person. Yeah, yeah. I was like, three will be fine, but as soon as I saw the fourth person,

somebody's going to have to sit on the bathtub. Would you care to introduce our fourth person for us? And plus, there's a lot of condoms lying around this apartment, so I can see why. Well, the man who put all those condoms there, please welcome me to the little dum-dum club, Xavier Michaelides. Thank you. That's what I do. You can always find me by my trailer condoms

living on the street. It's very safe of you. This happens a lot with guests that are visiting from another country where they'll invite us into their hotel room to do the show. I don't know if they invite us. They're left without a choice. I would never allow someone to do that, They're left without a choice. I would never allow someone to

do that to come into a hotel room where I was staying. Really? Yeah. Why not? Because you've

got your shit line all around. We could steal any of this shit. No you can't. What do you want?

What do you want? What do you got? What do you want? You've got some sleeping pills here.

Can I have some of them? You can have some of those. I'll give it to you. None of this means anything. Man, you got shit going on. You got the TV.

You got the NBA playing. You got lights on your bed. We don't have anything like this. This place probably costs $120 for the night. No, no way. It's a reasonably priced place. Oh, fuck. You don't see the places we stay in.

We're still on people's couches. We don't have NBA. This is college basketball. Oh, right. Yeah. Well, see, that's rare. That's harder to get here. You don't have ESPN.

You've got ESPN in some places. We don't have it. I like how you think having the NBA piped into your hotel room costs more instead of it just being on the TV when you turn it on. This is directly from the NBA, isn't it? Yeah. I'm not even really paying attention. I just have it out there for comfort.

It helps you with your jet lag. So Hannibal, you were actually on this show, God, five and a half years ago or so when you were in Melbourne for the Comedy Festival. Now, be honest, do you remember us at all? Yeah. No, I remember you guys. I remember the venue, it was a little small joint.

It was on a hill. You could be faking that easy. Sort of on a hill. You could be faking that easy looking at us. Of course it's going to be a small joint. No, I mean, but it was on a hill. I remember going to the spot. I remember it being pretty fun too.

What sports was on the TV when we did it? Was Fiona on there with me? No. Oh, yeah, yeah. But no, no, but you gigged like when we did stand-up in the same venue. So, yeah, you gigged a lot of nights there. You'd finish your gig and then you'd come back and gig at my stand-up night. So, yeah, Fiona was there.

Oh, okay. She was on a gig. She wasn't on the podcast. I figured it was on a podcast. Yeah, yeah, no, no. Was that Soft Belly? Will Anderson was on the podcast. Yeah.

Felicity Ward was on the podcast. Felicity was. Yeah, that's what it was. Whatever happened to any of those people Whatever No but I think You were there the night When Fiona had an episode

There as well I think I think it got pretty loose Yeah Yeah I think she had a few Of those sleeping pills That you got on your table

Right there She might have She might have I think you left Before the ambulance Turned up We'll put it that way Oh wow

Yeah It was too much trauma For me Yeah It was a hell of a night Yeah And yet you came back to the country. You weren't scared off by what goes on in the scene here.

Yeah. I mean, I can't be scared off by that. You see what's happening in my country. Yeah. Oh, yeah. What's going on? Has there been any news? It's chill.

It's super chill, man. Everything is chill and everybody feels positive and not worried about the future at all and everybody's cool with the host of The Apprentice being president. You did say to me after your dates finish here you're going to try and stick around

for a holiday for a week. Is that going to become an extended holiday? Are you one of those people going I'm going to leave America? No, no. Things are good for me there. And it wouldn't be. I'm not leaving. I am going to chill out. After this run of shows is done, I'm pretty much off work until mid-January.

So it'll be nice to have some time off and chill. And I don't know if I'll, see, I like the idea of vacationing or holiday. But I think once I'm in it, I'm like, I don't want if I'll See I like the idea of vacationing Or holiday but I think once I'm in it I'm like I don't want to Do this My idea of it is being in the city Because I got people suggesting Oh you need to go here and snorkel

In the city No just go up here on the coast And the whales are in mating season And it's beautiful and on paper That sounds great. But then once I get there, I'm like, I want to go to a concert.

Yeah, yeah. I want to be, I think that's how I let loose. I don't know, whales, watching whales fuck is better than any concert I can think of.

Have you seen whales fuck live? Yeah. Yeah? No, not at all. Have any of you guys seen it live? No, no, no. No? We don't do stuff like that.

We're spun out by being in a hotel room. Do you think that we've seen whales? Man, listen, I don't know what you guys do. This guy got a hard-on when he saw basketball on the television. Yeah, yeah. You think he's gone deep-sea diving? Yeah, that's a weird thing when people are like, yeah, swim with the whales.

What the fuck are you talking about? Whales are like the biggest thing there is. Why the fuck do you want to get in an ocean on their hunt turf? I've gone snorkeling before. Have you? I've seen whales make out but never properly. Now fuck.

Just first base. Just first base. And then I go, I want to stick around. This feels awkward. Yeah, I've seen a whale get finger banged but I've never seen them

go the full way. Flip a bang, come on. You see whales, they kind of start going at it. They start going at it and they look over at you. Who's this weirdo over here

who's this guy just floating go to a fucking concert just pretend I'm not here keep going Wales yeah man I just walked past see this is

we're in the area of the city that I'm around a lot of the time I just walked past a restaurant that I always see in a weird spot where I think man how the fuck is that restaurant still going

I walked past and there's a big sign out the front and I looked in there because I was thinking there's never anyone in there so I'm big sign out the front and I looked in there because I was thinking there's never anyone in there so I'm going to look in there and I looked in there

and there's no one in there because it's closed down, right? There's a sign in the window that says this pop-up store has closed. That store's been there for a year.

That's not a fucking pop-up store. Is that what people are going with now? Are they trying to save face? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're broke. But they're saying

they had a year pop-up. There's architecture designed around their food. It's not a fucking pop-up store. Do you think, I mean, just to play devil's advocate, maybe the original restaurant closed and then other places started using it as a pop-up? No, it looks like a fucking office work. It looks like a photocopy shop.

And someone's put a burger joint in there and it's not going well at all. And now they're trying to go no no no this was always the plan our plan was to lose all of our money so we couldn't run

our business anymore but who is that is that just for their neighbours to see just the other businesses everything is okay don't worry about me

also please do business with me in the future yeah yeah yeah all this stack of bills under the door was a plan and it's fucking gone. This block's great, guys.

Don't worry about it. Yeah. I do because the pop-up store is very in vogue at the moment. I love the idea of us doing some kind of pop-up store for this podcast. Yeah, sure. I've mentioned it before. I think it would go the same way as this burger joint,

but anyway. Yeah, every rapper now has like a pop-up store like in multiple cities around the world on the same day just for one day. Yeah, I want to do that. They're just an abandoned little building, piping our podcast in open speakers. If I don't sell tickets to my show next year, it was a pop-up show. Yeah, exactly.

It just was popping up and it wasn't a real thing. In hindsight, I had a lot of pop-up jobs. Well, Hannibal, I saw on Twitter yesterday you were searching out venues for after parties. Yeah. After your gigs. Oh, yeah. How the fuck do you have after parties? Yeah, we do, man.

It's just, I want to go out usually after a gig. I want to go out. And be bothered by all of your fans. That's cool. It depends. It depends on the spot that I go out. But I decide, and I like it. And I always went out anyways before I was well known.

I went out as just part of who I am. I just like the nightlife. And so I just started throwing after parties because if I'm going to go out, I'd rather me and my friends play the music we want to hear and make money going out versus spending money going out. And it's really fun. And I DJ at these parties. So while I'm DJing, that kind of gives me something to do so people don't bother me

as much. People still will bother me while I DJ depending on the security situation. But it's something to do and it's just more fun to just play after your show to have a party and then you play the music. Yeah. But off of real tables and just, you know.

I'm a horrible blender. I cannot beat match at all. I have great song selection. So I've been learning how to blend and take some lessons. Who thinks they don't have great song selection? No one's going, oh, yeah, all the songs I like suck. I'm great at mixing, but my taste is terrible. People have decent, I think people have decent chilling at home song selection

or hanging out with friends but playing stuff at a at a club or a spot where people dance and that type of song that's a different yeah

building the energy building the energy and picking the right stuff and going in that's a tougher thing than just hanging out in the living room yeah

I can't do that I'd always pick one which I go oh this is really gonna work and I'll play some Philip Glass and I was like no that was the worst yeah exactly it's like trying out new jokes and you go at home and you'd go oh this is really going to work and I'd play some Philip Glass and I was like no that was the one exactly

it's like trying out new jokes and you go at home and you're like oh this is going to be fucking good as soon as you get on stage you get half way through

and you go fuck horrible mistake I've DJ'd semi-professionally once and I always fancied myself and thought this could be a real turning point for me

and I did it and I was doing pretty well you know more and more people were coming to the dance floor I'm four songs in I'm like I'm actually

this is it I'm really good at this and then i played um do the bart man by bart simpson and cleared not only the floor but the venue people left the whole venue yeah yeah it's funny one song can break all yeah it can ruin all the goodwill Because you forget how long things go for. Like when it kicked on people, you saw people go, oh, I remember this. And then within a minute, people were like going, yeah, this is enough. And me going, oh, there's five more minutes left. And I don't know how to fade out. Oh, yeah, you don't know how to, yeah, you got to let it roll.

And so everyone. And you sort of scratch that shit like. What's going on, Melvin? How y'all feeling? Straight into some Gwen Stefani. You sort of scratched that shit like, what's going on, Melvin? How y'all feeling? Fit, fit, fit. Straight into some Gwen Stefani. And so everyone left and then the guy who ran the night came over to me and went, oh, I reckon just maybe one more and then I might take over. And I'm like, you said for me to play for an hour and it's been 15 minutes.

He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll still pay you the same. I'll just take over from him. Oh, man. I know. What do you have up next, the theme from Home Improvement? That's not far off what I would actually do, here. Oh, man. I know. What do you have up next? The theme from Home Improvement? Yeah. That's not far off what I would actually do. Oh, man. To Bartman.

Yeah. Check out DJ TV land over here. Just need, if someone makes a DJ edit that's like two and a half minutes, that song's ready to go. Like at its core. Yeah. It's got all the stuff, but it's just too long. Yeah.

Do you remember what you played right before bartman was shit was still popping oh man i think i maybe played uh a song by an australian band called regurgitator yeah yeah so you just had them i had them people know that but it was too much nostalgia like you were going back and was going i remember this i remember this in the last one i remember this like but i won't even want 10 seconds on it let's get the fuck out of here before he pops on twinkle twinkle little star i guess what i'm trying to say is can i have a spot at your after party yeah but you're saying you know you're like you have your fans around you're inviting

your fans to your to your party and then charging them and whatever and then if we had an after party if we had an after party our people fucking had an after party, our people fucking hate us. Like this is an example of what happened last night. So my long story, my phone number is out there to all the people that listen to this show. So I get messages. Your straight up phone number. Yeah. No like buffer.

No. Yeah. Because this is what I suggest because for traveling and everything and talking to girls, I have this app, Burner, where you could create a separate phone number within your phone.

It's like an app, you go into Burner and so, it's kind of a way to, you're still getting texts, you're still getting calls, but it's a filter. It's like,

that's this shit over there. That's this part of my life. Just so you know, this wasn't a plan. This fucker put my number out. I read his phone number out on the show. Can you throw the number out on the app?

Like can you literally, and it just plays a video of someone dropping in a lake or something like you. Was that? Can you get rid of a number on the burner app? Yeah, right away. And it plays a video of someone dropping a phone in a lake, like a drug dealer going, you can't find me.

No, it just shows it going up in flames. Yeah, yeah. Burner, it's a burner. I liked the moment as you were telling that story at the start, it just shows it going up in flames. Yeah, yeah. Burner. It's a burner. I liked the moment as you were telling that story at the start. There was a look on your face

that was like, should I reveal in public that this is how I live my life? Yeah, yeah. Oh, no. I was just like, should I give him

his number? Yeah, do it. Yeah, it's fine. Can you give us the number? I think it's very reasonable to have it. I have like

four phone numbers. Oh, do you? That's usually a thing that gets exposed in a newspaper. People don't usually voluntarily say that. I mean, I have like one phone that I barely use. That's what I should do. I should get at least two fucking phones. Do you have another phone?

You tell girls, you go, you got the original one, baby. This is, you got the real one. No, no, you got the hot one. They know what's going on. I'm moving you up to number one Carl's looking at you going four phones

wow how many podcasts has your number been read out on but it is you know people have done some weird shit man

where I had somebody just somebody somehow got my phone number somehow and then just started calling me.

It's just creepy. It was from a Canadian number. Hey. Well, that's what it's for, to be fair. Yeah. That's the intended use of a phone number, to be fair. It was, hey, what's up? You're ringing me?

Fuck. What's going on with Eric Andre's show? And then I just blocked his number. And then somehow these assholes figured out a way to make it look like they were calling from my parents house oh yeah and then call so it says home and I pick up hey I was so angry I was just your mom checking in on how you're doing? How's the Eric Gondry show going? My mum has a surprisingly very tame sense of humour. That's never been her vibe at any point.

It was creepiness. This is our sort of listeners. Literally last night I get a text message from someone that just says, cunt. And then I don't respond. And then hours later I get a message going Oh fucking Too good to respond

I'm like Why the fuck Would I respond to that They want to How am I the rude guy Out of that transaction They want to They don't really mean cunt

They just mean Hey man You're funny But I can't just say that Yeah yeah You don't deserve that Yeah I was looking at y'all

Y'all Twitter The other day And it was Cause I was seeing that you have the donation where you say don't donate a dollar because that's fuck all, and donate $2. And then it was somebody saying, oh, you're devaluing yourselves or something. I'm going to donate $1.99.

It was just a long interaction. I'm like, who is this guy yeah you know who that guy is he's actually a famous guy in Australia that's on TV and he's got plenty of money

it's Craig Rucastle from The Chaser it's like a show that's been running for like 20 years he's like I'm going to give you $1.99

okay thanks for that that's just I know you're proving a point but you've got a fucking lot of money you can prove other points like how rich you are you can prove that one.

So you found the Patreon link, but you didn't feel the chip in or anything like that? It doesn't feel right. You can't go on a podcast and then give money for being on it. Someone PayPal'd 90 cents to me, a stranger, 90 cents to my email address last night. I have no idea why. There's no note included in there. Happy birthday, Tommy. It was from me. Oh my God. You shouldn't have.

90 cents, man. If a million people give you 90 cents, you got $900,000. $900,000. 90 cents adds up. I was going to say, we sort of do unofficial after parties with this podcast when we do live shows

but they're more like us just being really drunk in the venue and then asking our listeners to drive us home that's basically what ends up happening it's just us being the last people there drinking still so what's the vibe at the after parties have you found venues here in Australia yet you know I put out the tweet

and a bunch of people did write me and then I went online when I went on a project yesterday in Australia yet? You know, I put out the tweet and a bunch of people did write me. And then I went online when I went on a project yesterday. It was this place. I was emailing with, the night is called Trill. And then I just said, you know what,

we're throwing a party at Trill just to kind of call their bluff and put the ball in their court. So I'm waiting. But the vibe is pretty, it depends. A lot of times it's just me and my DJ putting it together in his last minute.

So we'll get, we've had some that have been crazy in America where we had a couple hundred people. Or it'd be 80 people, but it's still fun. And it's just a good energy, man. And Phoenix was the last one we did. It was Phoenix the day before Thanksgiving. So everybody has the next day off work, so everybody can come out. And there was a guy we knew in Phoenix that helped promote it ahead of time. Usually when we do it, it's very haphazard, and we get-

Like you're asking venues. We get the venue maybe the day before, day of, or two days before. And then we get the flyer together, and we put it out, and we get something decent. But this was promoted maybe with 10 days lead time. And so after the show, I'm here, and I get there, and the place is already packed, capacity, like a couple hundred people outside. There's a line around the block for people to see me do something that's not my real

job. Rob Markman, the man from the outside. To play the bop man. Rob Markman, the man from the outside. To play the bop man. You know what I did do similar to that, but see sometimes you got to... It was an arcade bar. I don't know if they have... Do they have those out?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Old school games and stuff, which is becoming a bigger thing. So it was one of these places, Arcade Bar. And so since it's Arcade Bar, I opened up with Super Mario. Super Mario sound. Oh, nice. That was my first track. And went from that into Mortal Kombat.

And then a minute of that stuff, and then I went into playing real songs. Fuck yeah, we need to go back to back Doing a set of horrible choices That'd be great Yeah but I think you can get away with it We can't Yeah also mine was in Like you weren't at a God damn Fox Simpsons party

Mine was on theme At the beginning Before I built any momentum But would that So you're saying it's a party For all the people who work on The Simpsons and they'd be wrapped to see, hey, you know your job.

This is fun. You know what you got to do. I mean, looking back, Bartman remix. Yeah. Bartman vocals to a popular beat. Oh, nice. To like, yeah, a mashup of the Bartman.

Like a trap version of Do The Bartman. Yeah. That's good stuff. Chop the screw to something Make it clubby Someone will do that now Someone who We've got a lot of We've got a lot of good

Like music production people Who listen to us We've got a lot of people Who've got more time on their hands To do something like that Than give us money So yeah You can do that

Who is out there Who wants to do that Do that The internet is fascinating When doing a podcast And you just talk about something just on a whim and then a few hours after the podcast comes out, somebody sends you, like, hey, I looped up your voice

and put it over this beat. You like it? I'm like, yeah, that was pretty good. Someone who listens to this is going to take that grab of audio and put that over the bar man. And put that over the Batman Hey I know you said this Like before we started

You were complaining That you're on a TV show And they started bringing up That you're on Baywatch But you're on Baywatch You're in the movie Baywatch No it was I don't

This is the thing I wasn't complaining about it This guy gets it And I don't think I just think I was on the project And I went on this weird I did this weird bit where I read, I found this book outside of the building there

and it was this book from the AFL where they just counted one to 15. One football, two clocks, three, and up to 15. And I just ended up reading it page by page on there. And so quickly, this is a child's book and you found it in the street outside? I found it outside of the building. Just in the street? Yeah, just on the sidewalk. I don't like that.

That's creepy. You know when you see one child's shoe just abandoned somewhere and you go, oh. No, no, when you see a pram in the city and you go, how quickly did that fucking kid grow up? The producer or production assistant that was meeting us outside to walk us in, he had saw it on the ground. And when he saw it, it was a mother. She had a toddler and a baby in a stroller.

And she walked by. So it looked like she dropped it. So he ran up and got it. And then he's like, miss, miss, miss. And then she kind of waved him off like a homeless dude. He was crazy. It just seemed like, I still think it might've been hers and she didn't realize it. She was just, I don't know.

So then it was just there and I said, you know what? Let me take that. And as soon as I got it, there were these guys waiting with cameras outside of the place. And so they're like, Hannibal, Hannibal, can we take a picture? I'm like, yeah, hold this children's book. So it was just fun to get use of it. Within five seconds of having it, made somebody hold it. That was the most instant gratification you could get with an object

that you found on the ground. I felt really good. And then I was jet lagged and just feeling loose. And I knew with those type of interviews, I found over time to get my job there. I have shows in Australia, and some of them have empty seats, and I need to fill them.

And so those won't be filled with me just doing a straight interview and just saying, and people saying, how long have you been doing comedy? What about this? And so I just learned, because I've done that and then I've watched those

and I've said, that doesn't look fun to watch. I wouldn't want to pay money to see that person in that setting. So I've learned. But how long have you been doing comedy? How long? And how do you get your ideas?

And what was your worst gig? What do you think of women in comedy? They're not funny. They're not funny. I was like, what? Have you ever seen a funny female comedian? They just don't Yes we're making

The news papers And now Like why are they Why do they even Why do they try Like I watch it It's like Come on

I've never said this before Let's get back to the Nursery run book Or whatever But yeah So I just learned As a comedian With a short amount of time

On there I gotta just Force My will on that spot Yeah They on that show Every day I'm gonna be on that spot

That's I'm not gonna be on there For the next year I'm not over here all the time Not now That's my five minutes I'll probably get invited They're gonna give you A much earlier time slot Next year Now that you're bringing on Fucking Learning to count books for the next year. I'm not over here all the time. That's my five minutes. I'll probably get invited.

They're going to give you a much earlier time slot next year now that you're bringing on fucking learning to count books. You're going to get like 10.30 a.m. But it's just, I just knew I was just to get what I wanted to do across the Celtics. I was going to have to be a bit of a weirdo and be a bit of a wild card. I'd love it if this backfires and now the gigs are just full of like mothers with young children thinking that you're fucking the Wiggles

and that you're going to be counting five on seven. Oh, did they really think that that's it? Yeah, yeah. That would be funny. Man, that would backfire. When's that counting tickets

that's unfulfillable? That's ticket sold for the tickets. Ticket for the tickets. It's all ages shows. Hey, those young children, they've got to come with a parent.

That's two, maybe three tickets sold. Look at these three-year-olds dragged into a show at 10 o'clock at night. They're going to an after party Going When am I going to do

A counting song Yeah Hang on They're playing the Bartman That's something Age appropriate at least That's good I just like that

What if the three year old Gets me But the mom And the three year old Is like mom You don't He's too This is too

This is too deep for you I can't handle it Flatten up mom But it was a fun time. But it was just funny after that rant, the weird book rant. Then Fifi, she's like, so you're in the Baywatch.

It was just so, it just felt so kind of ham-fisted. And I get her trying to bring the interview into a straight mode. But she's thinking the whole time you're reading from that book, a Baywatch, Baywatch. I'm going to say Baywatch. Can't wait to bring up Baywatch. No, you know

what's happening? The producer upstairs is going, what the fuck is this? Get on to Baywatch. It also didn't help that in the counting book, the number for two was just two giant bouncing breasts running down the beach that made them remember and go, oh yeah, Baywatch. But yeah, it was just, you know, try to have fun with

those and just mix it up. That's what happens. They do their research the same way we do, which is like you open up IMDB and the first two things on your IMDB page is Baywatch and Spider-Man. And so you're walking going, well, that'll do for an hour. Let's talk about that. What's Tobey Maguire like? Yeah.

Zave, you have been – what's this story about you? You've been on a cruise ship recently. Yeah, so Hannibal's been travelling. We haven't been travelling. You have. No, I was telling Carla's story the other day about the first time I did a cruise. You've only been doing cruise ships recently, haven't you?

No, they have not asked me back. Oh, yeah, but in the last year you started. No, not even the last year. You did one gig? I did a few in a row and then they were like, no more. Because I was telling stories on stage and they were like, you can't tell stories on a cruise. They said that?

They said that. And I'm like, we need jokes. We need jokes the whole way and don't do any more stories. Did they even just suggest, can you punch up your stories more? Or did they just say, no stories? No stories. They were like, people on cruises, they want to hear stories. They're not like head writers on these carnival tours.

They just don't, there's no editing. We should explain, maybe it's a cultural thing. Good comedians do cruises here. Yeah. Like maybe that's a thing. Like cruise ship comedians, is that a thing in the States? It is, yeah. I got invited a while back.

I haven't done one, but I'm fascinated by the dynamic because you just hear a lot of people talk about you do your set because it's a week-long thing. You do your set. You don't have to find a place for your after party. It's like an after party the whole time. You're there. You're stuck with the audience.

That's why the next time I do it, I'm going to be like, I've got to change the song. I'm DJing this whole cruise, so I've got to get out of this conversation. Double up. Try to double up. I'm the comedian and the dj come to my after party it's here in five minutes yeah i did though the last cruise i did i taught improv for one of the things i remember there's a line in in 30 rock i don't know if you even wrote this line where tina fey was like um no it was um jack donnie's like if it wasn't for me used to be teaching improv on cruise ships

and I'm doing it going, oh, no, I'm a joke from 30 Rock right now. I'm the reality of that. But the first cruise I did, I didn't know anyone else on it and there was a magician and a juggler, a juggler who introduced himself as a comedy juggler because like, yeah, you know those serious jugglers? Yeah, yeah. Those jugglers that just tell sad stories and then juggle. Daniel Day-Lewis of jugglers who introduced himself as a comedy juggler. Because like, yeah, you know those serious jugglers? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those jugglers that just tell sad stories and then juggle?

The Daniel Day-Lewis of jugglers. Exactly, yeah. So they were like, hey, do you want to come get a drink at the crew bar? And I'm like, yeah, we'll go meet you in your room. And when they came and knocked on the door, opened the door, and there's this thing that a friend of mine had been saying, we both kept saying, instead of hey we'd go AIDS like that right it's a funny thing

that we were doing open the door and I'd go AIDS and the juggler goes did you just say AIDS I'm like yeah it was like a little funny thing it was like

AIDS ain't funny mate and it was the worst from then on we did not get along went and got a drink and it was horrible and the whole cruise was ruined like that

they just hated me from then on. I couldn't get along with anyone. And you're like trying to catch up with the guy later on, you were saying. Yeah. So I'm like, magician leaves. I'm just on with the juggle and I'm like, hey, do you want to get another drink? And he's like, yeah, yeah, for sure. I'll meet you tonight at like nine o'clock.

I go down to the crew bar. He never turns up. Yeah. By myself, drinking. The barman didn't serve me because he said, you make fun of AIDS. Get out of here. I'm like, fair enough me because he said, you make fun of AIDS, get out of here. I'm like, fair enough. Really?

No, no, no. That was him punching up his story. Yeah, you've got to punch up the story to see Santa Cruz. So you were doing this thing with a friend and then you decided to start... Actually, I can say it was Asher Chalevin. Right.

But it's like a comedy thing, you know. It was only an offstage thing. Like, it's like, I wouldn't do that on stage I'm not making fun of AIDS I'm just saying So you're doing this as a personal thing And then you decide to just trot it out

On a stranger On a juggler though He's a comedy juggler He should get that Usually they're on the street You'd think they'd be loving that sort of joke. A juggler. They're on the street.

They've probably got it. Lighten up, pal. Oh, man. I think about that a lot. Me and my cousin, Percy, he's my best friend. And we just get loose on the phone. There's been so many conversations where we've been talking on the phone. There's been so many conversations where we've been talking on the phone. And if somebody was recording this,

we might have to talk to the FBI. If someone opened up our Facebook exchanges, fuck, we would be doing some hard time. Yeah, we talk about,

just jokingly, about murdering and just crazy, just weird shit. Just in a weird way is not literal, obviously, but it's just

if somebody without context or any sense of tone heard it or transcribed. Especially transcribed. Just the written word of what's being said.

Just the written word of what's being said. No, kill him like this. I ain't go kill everybody. I got to murder this motherfucker. There's a thing on South Park at the moment where like everyone's internet history, everything they've ever done goes public. Oh, wow.

And it happens to everyone in the world. And watching that, even though it's meant to be comedy, is the most intense like reaction I've ever had to watching something where it's like you just imagine it and it's like my life's over. This person had come a knocking and – but would it be that or would it be everyone's on the – everyone's equally fucked. Everyone in the whole world is just equally fucked. Well, there was – you know when they –

Nothing happened. They always do those Facebook rumours and I think they get sick of doing them where they say, oh, they're going to charge for Facebook from now on. They did do at one stage a thing where everything you had private message was going to be on your wall. I remember that came out one night and I was like, fuck, I've got to get home. Like I was out somewhere and I raced home especially. Fuck, they should start that rumor up again.

That's effective. That's fucking good. Were you saying comedy stories? This is something that happened. I think I started to tell you this the other night there's a gig um uh that i was at the other day and it's you know new comics and bad comics is fucking the best that's the best story bad bad comedians um you mean just watching them or just just in general yeah stories about them not even yeah like there's this guy the guy to gig the other day this is what happened he

turned up and then he turns up to the booker and he says to the booker i'm supposed to be on i'm on tonight and the guy goes okay because it's like an hour before the gig and he's like okay sure he goes oh yeah this guy told me i was on he's like cool okay so he really wasn't on he just no he was he was on okay but this is like the start this this is not the full story that's not the payoff uh there's more this is not one of Xavier's is not the full story. That's not the payoff. There's more. This is not one of Xavier's stories on the cruise ship. So he turns up and then the guy goes, yeah, sure, okay, you'll be on. But at the time, the booker is like testing the mic.

So he's on stage going, one, two, one, one, one, two. Okay, we're good to go. And then puts the mic down and walks away. And then the guy runs on stage and grabs the mic and goes, yeah, so anyway, I stole a penguin. And I got on a bus and I was travelling on the bus with a penguin. And the booker is like off stage. There's no one in the crowd because the gig hasn't started yet.

It's like an hour before. And the guy just goes, just watches him for like 30 seconds until he's brave enough to even say, hey, you don't think the gig started, do you? And the guy goes, oh, I got told I was on first. Oh, shit. Oh, man. That's crazy.

So he's on this tour, still on Penguin at 7.30 at night. There's no one in the room And also Like then the book is going So you thought That was my MC work up front Just going Hey One two

One two Okay Right Okay And then that's it Yeah he really warmed the crowd up With a bit of one two Yeah

I'd love it if comedy nights Started like that People just start getting on No one's there And then people slowly wander in Being on first means That you decide When the gig begins.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you just sit out, you go, okay, I've deemed it ready. I'm getting up there. It's like those bike races around the velodrome, you know, when there's just two bikes and one of them just decides when it starts. You know that thing? Yeah. That bit for comedy.

Start it up, the comedy velodrome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was your story about that? For one thing, I'm tired of these boring-ass sound checks. Yeah. One, two, check. Fucking mix that shit up. There's other words that you can test sound with.

What's a good one? Because there's P's and B's. You need a bit of that. Philanthropist. Philanthropist. Zeitgeist. Yeah. Throgmorton.

Lamp. Lamp. Lamp. Lamp. Lamp. Lamp. Lamp. Lamp.

Lamp. Lamp. Lamp. Lamps and lights. Lamps and lights. Lamps and lights. Lamp. Lamp.

Lamp. Like what? One, two. One, two. What the fuck are you doing? Nobody's there. One, two. One.

This is your chance to let go. Nobody's in the room. You want a one, two? Testing. One, two, one. This is your chance to let go. Nobody's in the room. You want a one, two? Testing. One, two? Well, you're speaking of the horror of people's private conversations being transcribed and released into the public domain. I've been at a number of Carl Chandler gigs where he does soundcheck, and let me tell

you, it gets pretty spicy up there. Yeah? Does it? Do I? You're doing that. You're doing a bit of that. What am I doing? I don't care to say on the air.

Oh, okay. All right. Soundcheck is where you can get loose. Nobody's there. You can say whatever. Try your joke. One, two. Not even seven, eight. Twelve, thirteen. Just

one, two. One, two. Testing. That guy that came in, that was on first, he comes in and he starts telling a story about stealing a penguin and getting on a bus and at the end it's like,

and it wasn't funny and at the end it was like, is that story true? And he was like, yeah. So that wasn't even the weirdest bit of the story.

This guy actually went to Phillip Island to a tourist attraction, stole a penguin and somehow put it on a bus with him and came back to the city and I don't know what the fuck happened then but he was on a bus with him and came back to the city. And I don't know what the fuck happened then,

but he was on a bus with a penguin. That's crazy. Also, it's just so funny. I was talking with a friend about this, just the unnaturalness of starting a comedy set, even if it is true, how weird that is just to go from being zero, just nothing, to grabbing a microphone. So I stole a penguin. Anyways, so I drink all the time.

Yeah, so my dad died. Let's get into it, you guys. It's always so casual. It's not like it's been weighing on their mind. Look, I stole a penguin. I've got to say this. I stole always so casual It's not like it's been Weighing on their mind Look I stole a penguin I've got to say this I stole a penguin

It's not a big deal I say exactly the same thing It's that thing where Some people go When you get on stage And go hey how you doing guys Hey thanks for coming Or whatever

People go oh that's so hack It's like no It's fucking bizarre To walk up there And go hey You know the thing About roller coasters is It's like who starts

A fucking conversation Like that I'm trying to I just am obsessed With the penguin guy like trying to work out which came first was he like i'm gonna start doing comedy and then he was like okay what what stuff could i talk about oh the penguin thing that time or was it like i'm gonna do i think i want to do comedy i gotta make something happen yeah he's just gone to philip island and then he's there on the bus with the penguin penguin under his going, I reckon I've got five now. He's looking at the penguin going, fucking do something.

I don't think this is enough. You've got to punch it up with something that you do. Yeah, because I hope there's more to that story because being on the bus with the penguin, that's not the interesting bit. The penguin shits itself. He's like, I don't do blue stuff. Come on, penguin. I can't mention this.

I want to open it for Seinfeld when he comes out. This is going to make the story weird. I want to do cuter sort of stuff Come on Penguin This one comedian that I I know her From New York We're cool I know a lot of people

But she wrote me This long thing asking To open for me on the road. And then also sent the same thing, a long text message, and also the same thing in Facebook. Three different ways she reached out. And I didn't, because it was just so. Man, which phone was this?

This is my main phone. Oh, fuck. Yeah, where I feel most vulnerable. It was one of the things where if she'd have just said, can I open for you? No, I'm sorry. I got my people. But it was just this long thing that went into her life and stuff.

And it was just a long way. It just felt too heavy. So I just left it alone and just hoped for the best. So I'm in the city and my DJ, Tony, he gets to the gig ahead of me to handle the sound checks and the one-twos, et cetera. Blam, blam, blam, bl cetera. Lamp, lamp, lamp, lamp. Lamp, lamp. He gets there.

He does that. Oh, Michael Winslow. Michael Winslow is my dude. Hang on, there's been gunfire in the club. Oh, no, that's just Michael. And so he hits me up and says, is there a second opener on the show? And I'm like, no. I'm like, no, Michi is the only opener. and says, is there a second opener on the show?

And I'm like, no. I'm like, no, Michi is the only opener. She's like, you know, such and such is here,

she says. She's open. I said, no, she's not open. But she had finagled her way backstage past this

weak ass security. Another good word for the soundtrack, by the way, finagle. Finagle. Finagle. Finagle. Bamboozle.

Schnitzel. Pontificate. And so I guess she just was really confident in security. You guess? Security says, sure, you can open. I mean, you can, can Yeah you should be back here Yeah And I say no

She's not So she tried to just bluff her way Man Into being So you never wrote This is a Like a 1200 seater or something

Oh wow Yeah this is a big gig This is not a Fucking Like this is literally an open mic That the penguin guy was on This is And she tried to bluff her way

Yeah On it Because I hadn't. You never said no. I never said no. She never responded. He probably meant to say yes and just forgot. Yeah. And so she gets there and I'm like, no, you can't. No, no.

Actually, before I got there, luckily, they got her out of there and just put her in the audience or whatever. And then... So if I do that, do I get a free ticket to Friday? Because I tried to get a ticket and it sold out. That's the compromise, I guess. That's the compromise. Still pretty good.

You can scare me into a comp. I mean, I'll never get to talk to you again, but I get a free ticket. You bluff your way. You try to go to 10, you get dropped to 5, which is a comp. I mean, I'll never get to talk to you again, but I get a free ticket. You bluff your way. You try to go to ten, you get dropped to five, which is a comp. Better than one, this is being outside. Wow. Hannibal tickets are so rare, you can only get in if you bluff your way as an opener.

Hey, the Rolling Stones, I'm DJing before you tonight. Front row. After the show, show's done. It's fun. I'm just chilling backstage, laying down after the show, show's done, it's fun. Just chilling backstage, laying down on the couch, sweating a little, just relaxing, playing some music, and I drink in my hand, and she comes backstage, like, can I, because I had a show maybe two hours away the next day.

She said, can I open tomorrow? And I'm like, no. And she says, why not? I'm like, why you putting pressure? Why you putting this pressure on me right now? It was such a weird conversation to have. I'm talking about five minutes after being on stage, somebody popping. You're a crazy person to come to somebody's backstage.

I know you, but I don't owe you that. And I'm definitely not giving you that if you make me feel weird. But it was just, I mean, I guess I had that sort of hunger earlier on, but now with some people's gigs, I would write people about getting on gigs. I would never show up. I would never press them like that. I would never fake like I was on their show. On a showcase, I'll try to hustle to get on a showcase.

Hey, can I get a few minutes? Can I get on? You might buck a booker, but to show up at somebody's gig and try to lie to people and say you're on is a bit much. To think that it's like, I'm going to go so well, they're going to forgive me for trying to sneak on the show. That's the crazy thought.

That's like, I'm going to blow it out and they're going to go, thank God you opened. I've asked people to get on. I actually asked Mitch Hedberg in 2005 at Zany's in Chicago. I just went up to the green room as a comedian. Zany's in Chicago. I just went up to the green room, because as a comedian, and still, that's their policy. If the show's not packed out, if there's a little room in the back, no matter what level you are, if there's room, you can sit in the back and watch the headliner. And so we went to watch, and I just went upstairs.

This is a 150-seater spot. Mitch was huge, but he was selling out just a bunch of nights at the club, the downtown club and the suburban club. And I just went up and said, hey, man, can I get a guest spot? And he says, I don't know, you should ask the club. I said, it'll sound better coming from you. And he just said, all right, come by tomorrow. Oh, wow.

So you did it? Yeah. Oh, wow. So you did it? Yeah. And he put on me on that show and maybe, I think, three or four other Chicago comics that he didn't know at all. He put them all for five minutes before his opening act. That's great.

But what a fucking idiot. I think he was just chill. And there's a lot of stories of him being generous like that. Yeah, he's very generous. And I look back on that story, whenever I look back on that moment and how generous he is to me, I always think, I'm never doing anything like that. Oh, yeah, man, he was number one. He was my favourite.

I reckon that goes in waves where it's like there'll be a generation of comics where the people that were big when they were coming up were like pieces of shit to them. And so they went, well when I get big I'm never going to be like that. I'll help people out. So then that generation under them, they have it too good. And they're like, no I'm at the top now. Fuck every other comic. Yeah, exactly.

There's a story like that. We probably said this on the show before maybe. Who cares, let's say it again. Who cares because it's such a great story. There's a story like that. We probably said this on the show before, maybe. Who cares? Let's say it again. Who cares? Because it's such a great story. Such an amazing story. So someone did the same. It's like a legend in the Melbourne Festival sort of scene. This guy tried to get on.

Because you've done the Melbourne Comedy Festival before. And there's like a showcase night at night, like on a weekend at the Festival Club. And it's like a cool gig to get on and not everyone is that the high five yeah the high

five and it starts real late it's like a midnight sort of show and then everybody hangs out and for new

comics it's a bit of a rite of passage to get good enough to be able to get booked on it we haven't done

it yet but anyway we've done it we've done it and so like I think we were all on a level of we'd done it before and there was this one guy, this one comic that's sort of on our level that hadn't done it and he started saying to like us, I remember he said to me, so, you know, when you do that Hi-Fi Club,

you know, what time do you generally get there? You generally get there 11 or 10.30 or something like that? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, about that time. And who do you generally deal with? You deal with such and that? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, about that time. And who do you generally deal with? Do you deal with such and such? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm taking this as like a thing of him going, trying to let me know that he got the gig, he's on at the gig.

And I'm like, yeah, yeah, cool. Okay, man, you know, we get it, we get it. We get it, you're on, right? And then he's asking all these questions and I'm like, okay, you know, we get it, you're going to be on So then what he does apparently Is he is not booked at all for this gig What he does is

He gets all that information He turns up well before the gig starts Walks in there and says Oh by the way such and such a headliner Like a big name They can't make it tonight But he said for me to replace them. And so they go, okay.

And then they just let him in. And he goes backstage. Because that's like the door staff. The door staff who don't know. They're like, okay, sure. So he goes backstage. And then, so the thing is he's just made that up. And that person ends up turning up.

And as he turns up, they go, go oh we got told that you're getting replaced by this guy at the back and he goes i don't know who that guy is and so it's like this the worst roadrunner fucking cartoon of all time where he hasn't put the detour sign on at all like there's no way of stopping this guy turning up to the club yeah so then they just walk at the back and this guy's just sitting at the back and his big plan, he was sitting backstage with the running order of all the acts and he just crossed off this other guy's name and put his name in. And so they just walk backstage and go, what the fuck are you doing?

And the guy just ran, just ran out of there. Oh, really? He just ran away? Yeah. To never be seen in a comedy scene again? Pretty much. Pretty much. He disappeared after that.

He moved overseas not long after. Oh, man. Yeah. I would have loved if you were like, and that man was me. I love anything that's, yeah, that's just super brazen, that you probably know where it's probably not going to work, but like imagine if it does. And just the rules that if something's crossed off,

my name's crossed off, I guess I'm not on, and that person walks away. All the guy needs to do is then ring up the guy who is replacing and say hey man this really great gig is happening you're opening for hannibal brest just over the street you know you go over there and do this something else instead but there was absolutely not that other guy was always turning up i think that was part of the plan like in his head he had that's what i'll do when i get in the venue. Then he gets in the venue, which he didn't expect to happen. And I reckon he was just so overawed at that bit coming off

that he just forgot to make the call. There was so much adrenaline happening, man. And even though it sounds, it's pretty crazy and weird within our world to do that, but considering every, it's kind of low stakes, but it probably felt really good. To even get that far. He probably tells that story with glee. And I almost had him.

But they got me. I almost got under that unpaid five-minute spot. It was the greatest moment of my life. I might try that tomorrow, Friday night here in Melbourne. Yeah, Hannibal's sick tonight, but this guy's got it covered for a whole hour. Oh, that's weird because we've already got Xavier who says he's on, but he's in the front row, I guess. Your name's crossed off, Hannibal.

It's not happening. It's not happening. I crossed it off. Borrow, don't lie. Anytime anyone in the world of comedy acts in that kind of way where it's like, how's the fucking bravado of this? And people make a big judgment about them. The amount of arrogance and bravado that you have to have

to decide that you're good enough to do stand-up in the first place. By rights, we should all just be behaving like that all the time. Anyone that's ambitious, you tend to look at and go, you fucking piece of shit. And it's like, no, no, that's what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to get better and try and get good things. But I always go, I'm never fucking going to talk to you. I don't want to talk to you, man. Yeah, I have decided

that I am funnier than rooms of people and I'm going to try and prove it every single night. But look at this guy saying he wants to be on TV. What a fucking loser. Yeah, exactly. What have we got? Should we start to wrap this up? I'm sure you've got stuff to do, Hannibal. What are your plans for the rest of the evening here in Melbourne?

Chill out, grab some food and try to find an Australian girlfriend. Nice. So you were saying you were going to fly to Sydney tonight unless you find a Melbourne girlfriend. Sydney gig cancelled if you get a Melbourne girlfriend. No, just flying in the morning tomorrow because it's close. Yeah, but not cancelled. Not cancelled.

Might be late. Nah, wouldn't cancel. Wouldn't But not cancel. Not cancel. Might be late. Nah, wouldn't cancel. Wouldn't be a great look to cancel. Certainly not to cancel and then go, it's because I'm hanging out with a girl. It's because, yeah, I'm in love. And love Trump's comedy. I've done many comedy shows.

I've only been in love once. I'm in love with my opener. Yeah. Oh, man. You'll see us if... Are we allowed to come to your after party? Can we get into your after party? Of course.

Oh, great. Of course. All right. Nice. At Trill? I think so. I don't even know where that is. I ought to check my email to see whatever comes together.

We'll see. You don't know any details. You only said their name on national TV. I did. But you don't know any more than that. Sometimes you just got to take strong stances. Take strong stances and you make people react. Just like if you try to sneak on a comedy show.

It may not work out. It may work out. But taking strong stances works, you know. Some of those people probably, you know, that guy might be better suited. He's probably really good at something else. The person that snuck in. He's probably an international spy now. Yeah, a spy.

Some type of investor or a gambler. I'm going to put it out there. I think I'm still friends with him on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he's a bartender. But is he a flair bartender? Oh, yeah. What happens if he flips the glass? It's Brian Brown from Cocktail.

Do you know how he got that job there was someone already working there and he just crossed their name out I'm working here now everyone

I'm the bartender well hopefully it works out with Trill look I'm sure any nightclub that has a Friday night free with two nights to go is probably

a pretty fucking awesome place so it should be a great time hey Trill Trill don't listen to them I believe in you

and you believe in me we believe in each other Hannibal you've got your own podcast The Handsome Rambler The Handsome Rambler yeah just started listening

to it yesterday good stuff thank you man it's been you know I'm late into the game six eps in six eps in

but it's been fun just you know man it'll change your life yeah it's uh yeah just you know it'll change your life yeah it's uh yeah just a lot of different things comedically

that don't work in stand up uh I'm able to explore through the through podcasting so

it's uh it's been fun to do and just trying to figure it out and get better and make it weird and have fun yeah

we got heaps of listeners that are always after new podcasts so check that out get onto it to do and just trying to figure it out and get better and make it weird and have fun yeah we've got heaps of listeners that are always after new podcasts so so check that out to it uh zave anything you'd like to plug oh yeah my tickets for my festival show are going on early earlier than anyone else the show's let us do this hey come on how's that feel saying it out loud it feels great look it's better written all right it's better written, all right? It's better written. So, wait. Lettuce, as in the vegetable, lettuce, do this.

Oh, boy. No, it's not good when you say it, but when you read it, it's the best, all right? Okay. And it's at the Malthouse Theatre. What's your show called, Carl? What's your show called? Are you the one with the penguin? Is that you? That's me.

I stole a penguin. Hannibal, what do you think of that as a title, Lettuce Do This? Lettuce Do This? I stole a penguin. Hannibal, what do you think of that as a title? Let Us Do This. Let Us Do This? You know, my name, my first special Hannibal Buhr is Animal Furnace.

So this tour is called the Hannibal Monsignor experience. Yeah. That's in your hitting range then. So, you know, I'm in no place to judge. But neither well Carl is is there a food theme to the show there might be

I haven't written it yet you haven't written it yet I'll work it out the most important thing is it's on sale if I run out of time I might just eat a whole head of lettuce

at the end of the show I mean the show sounds like it lends itself to great merchandise and opportunities yeah lots of t-shirts

merchandise that goes off the record lettuce hat lettuce hat that's what I'm thinking thanks Hannibal thank you for being merchandise and opportunities. Yeah. Yeah. T-shirts with food on them. Merchandise that goes off Lettuce hat. Lettuce hat. That's what I'm thinking. Thanks Hannibal. Thank you for being so more positive and supportive

about my show than these two guys. Do you want to spruik your show and it's shit title? Yeah. So nice. So positive.

But it's at the Malthouse and I'll put it out soon. But early bird special. Great. You've got to put that as a quote on your poster. I'm in no position to judge this title. Hannibal Buress.

Yeah, yeah. That's good. That's good. You haven't even given details. It's in Melbourne. It's in Melbourne. The Melbourne National Comedy Festival are running. When does the festival start?

March and April. Fucking hell. This is my first ever plug. I'm getting used to it again. Seven o'clock. Carl, what's your show called? My show's called Carl Chandler, World's Best Comedian in the World. Yeah, good stuff.

That is not a good, that is the worst title ever. Let Us Do It has charm about it. Let's say second worst. No. Who's the worst? Oh, wait, I see. I see what's going on. You know what?

For when the people are sitting there waiting, you should have audio of a chant. Let us do this. Yeah. I mean, if you don't go with this title, you've got to lean into that shit. At the very least, the poster has to be your face superimposed onto a head of lettuce.

Oh, I'm way ahead of that. My head's the lettuce. It's like half my face, half lettuce going up there. Carl's, you know, he acted like he don't like it, but I think he's a

little jealous. Carl Chandler's show, put a carrot up my ass. Yeah, yeah. And I don't have to Photoshop

it. My show's called Dinner for Two. Okay, that's all the time we have for this week on the Little Dino Club.

Xavier Mike Leidy, Hannibal Burris, thank you very much for joining us thank you thanks for listening guys and we'll see you next time see you mate

yeah