The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 332 - Sam Mac & Tom Ballard

Episode Date: February 14, 2017

Ray Martin, Shorts and Fat Shaming.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to another episode of the Little Dumb Dumb Club with a late-breaking exclusive for the Little Dumb Dumb Club. No other podcast is carrying this news. The Extra Lonely Planet Podcast. Very good. The Dumb Cunt Planet. Where to go in order to work out when she'll be back. Yes. And where she went. Yes. We have the exclusive. No other podcast has this information about ourselves the little

dumb it was really hard to keep this this bombshell exclusive from the people down at this american life somehow we scooped the drudge report we got it we got this one guys uh this is going to make our names in story breaking so we go. Adelaide sucks. You heard it first. Did you watermark that? Just so everyone knows that that came from us. Fuck. No, the news is we have confirmed the dates for the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival. Yes.

Locked in. Locked in. We've got locked in the dates and we've locked in the resort that was the official resort of the Koh Samui Podcast Festival. Yes, our accommodation partner. Yes, exactly. So what have you got? You've got the official nights where shows will be happening in Koh Samui as part of

the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival. Yes. June 1st, June 2nd, June 3rd, June 4th and then june 17 i don't know what we're going to do for those 13 days in between and then june northern no so june 1st or 4th we're going to be doing four nights of shows we'll do a live podcast we'll do a bunch of other stuff uh that we are still working out so the deal that we have with the resort you is a deal for you to stay there from march the 31st. Yes.

If you want to get in the night before, we will be there. I would highly recommend, look, let's say it's May the 31st to June the 5th. You might as well fly out June the 5th or, look, longer. You can stay as long as you want, but this is what we're doing. We are May the 31st to June 5th and possibly longer for us. Yeah. We'll see how we go. So May the 31st, there'll be some kind of like a gala launch event.

Yes. Some kind of pre-drinks before the festival kicks off. It will be. What we'll be doing, we'll be getting late. We'll be getting the last plane into Samui. We'll be getting there in about 10.30 at night. We'll be getting off the plane. We'll be very thirsty.

I'll bet we will. We'll be very, very thirsty. We'll be with international eccentric billionaire Milan. So, yeah, we probably won't sleep until June 5, to be fair. Yes, exactly. So we'll be getting in late that night. If you want to find out exactly how we're getting there, when we're getting there, we'll put that up on our website,

littledumbdumbclub.com. We'll put it up on the social medias on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, all those sort of details. And we'll certainly be sending it out to, first thing, to the email list of people inquiring about the Koh Samui Podcast Festival. But announcing our official partner, the official accommodation partner of the Koh Samui Podcast Festival is the amazing Ozo Chaweng Samui Resort.

Yeah, now put this place into your booking.com link or whatever you use. Yes. And get a fucking look at the bazoombas on this one. It looks awesome. Like it's really, really good. It's the Mr. Skin of resorts. Shout out. Yeah.

Official pornography website of the Koh Samui Podcast Festival. No. So no, check it out, check out the Ozo Chaweng Samui Resort so you need to go to, yeah you put that in TripAdvisor or put it in whatever middle man you like to go, otherwise you can go and do Ozo, that's O-Z-O

ozohotels.com slash hotel slash Samui so what you need to do, actually no sorry I take that all back, don't use those middle men go directly to that website ozohotels.com slash hotels slash sommelier because this is the important thing. We have struck an exclusive deal for you guys to get much cheaper rooms. So somehow – you know when you pitch things to reputable companies

and you go – your first sentence is, we have a podcast and people then kill themselves? Yes. Well, this didn't happen this time. So this is why we love these guys. Now, I personally have stayed in this resort before and it is awesome. Nice. It is like an extra great value.

It looks like a five-star resort, but it doesn't cost like a five-star resort. It's got an amazing huge pool. It's got the biggest pool I've stayed in in Samui. It's like a brand new resort. A lot of the places there are like 30, 40 years this place is like two years old wow so it is it's so clean and nice and beautiful looking that i'm a little bit worried what we're going to do to it yes yes but they've offered their their services to record uh at least one live podcast there oh they're going to record it for us well no they're going to house they've got an in-house tech do they well it's the official podcast resort tech run yeah man imagine how

that's going to go um so uh go there now the thing is like i said we've got this exclusive deal your phone on silent mate yeah i should have that we've got this exclusive deal uh so if you go to that website and you now now get a pen and paper you're going to need a pen and paper to write this password down. This is what you need to put in there. Started to work out a very big flaw in this big plan of ours. No, it's a tough one. It's like – yeah, right. Get your calculator out and turn it upside down.

It's boobies. Oh, yes. It's not. The password is podcast. Now, I didn't make up this password. P-O-D. P for podcast. O for oh, what a podcast.

D for Dan. This is going to be quite a podcast. C for cunts hosting a podcast. A for a really good podcast. Yes. S for shucks. I didn't know podcasting Could be this good T for

Tommy Daslow And Carl Chandler The hosts of this podcast Yes Now that's If you can just remember That simple rule You will remember the password

Type in everything We've just said It's like that My own You know It's one of those What do you call them When you remember

Like a sequence of Like a saying to remember All the things Oh yeah I don't know what it's called But I need sequence of like a saying to remember all the things? Oh, yeah. I don't know what it's called, but I need one of them for that work. For all of that. Yes, exactly. So, Ozo Samui Resort.

Password podcast. Now, I'm telling you, go and have a look at the deals on there because usually it's about $120 a night, right? $120 plus a night. If you go to any of the websites, you'll find it's about $120 a night. For you guys, there's a couple of different prices for different rooms. But it's either, I think it's like $85 bucks or $95 bucks a night. Right. That's for the starter rooms.

Like for single, I think it's $85. For a double, it's like $95. Amazing. Yeah. So a really good deal. Basil and Manuel have really done us a sweet deal here. It is. I can't. Like, this a really good deal. Basil and Manuel have really done us a sweet deal here. It is. I can't, like, this is the other thing.

I can't make you guys know enough that this is an awesome resort. And I actually tried to do deals with other resorts that I thought, they'll probably deal with us because they're a bit shit. They're fine, but they're a bit shit. And when I hit these guys up, I was like, well, they're not going to deal with us at all. They not only dealt with us, but they gave a bit shit and when i hit these guys up i was like well they're not going to deal with me deal with us at all they not only dealt with us but they gave us a great deal yeah they were amazingly helpful immediately helpful everyone else fucked us around these guys couldn't be more helpful yeah this is sick it's actually happening this is amazing i'm so genuinely

happy that literally my first choice of resort came through yeah so there's no there's no doubting what it's going to be like it is an awesome resort. We're so happy that these guys are helping us and they're helping you guys. So, hey, yeah, get on and book. And, hey, send us through Facebook and email and stuff. Send us your little booking sheet. Let us know you've booked in. You know, we'd love to get a catalogue of all that stuff

so we know, like, how many of you are coming along, how much individual security we each need for this weekend. Yes. So, yeah yeah if you're coming from melbourne and you want to like be like around or on the same flights as us uh keep your eyes peeled to social media because we'll be letting you know when we've got our end of that stuff booked in we did want to try and get some kind of airline deal but that is i guess maybe we'll talk about it on a future episode but that's very hard to do yes um so that that is not going

to happen but um you know you can just make your own way. Like I said, we will be – There was basically no way of us getting some kind of deal like an airline on board that was going to end up still being the cheapest deal for you guys. Yes. So that's why we didn't want to do it. Yes. We've spent way too long trying to work on this and there was just no way that was – it

didn't seem fair to get ourselves hooked up and get you guys having to pay more. So that's why we've just – it's easier to just do it DIY. That would have been fine by me, but we just couldn't make it happen. So we just could not make a deal. So basically, get the best – look for sales that are on. Get the best fare you can get over there. Whatever airlines you like, take them. But we will be telling you what flights will be going on.

All right. We've got to move on. I mean, from the glorious beaches of Koh Samui to the glistening churches and bakeries of Adelaide, South Australia. Saturday what? March the 4th. Saturday, March the 4th. Yes. Sorry, I said what because you had this weird look on your face. You didn't understand what I was saying. No, what? March the 4th. Saturday, March the 4th. Yes.

Sorry, I said what because you had this weird look on your face. Oh, no, no, no. You didn't understand what I was saying. No, no, no. Like you'd never heard that cliche about Adelaide before. No. Saturday, March the 4th. It is selling well.

It's a big double live episode, two episodes back to back featuring a heap of guests from around the Fringe Festival at the Rhino Room. Come on down. It's four o'clock, three o'clock? Four o'clock. Four o'clock, yeah. Get onto the website and get yourself a ticket. Adelaide, come on, come on.

It's going to be huge. It's going to be good. Two weeks after that, we're in Brisbane. That is all sold out already. Happy to announce that the bootleg scalped ticket that we put on eBay went for double its intended value, so that was good. Which sort of wrecks the episode a bit because we then go on to talk about that in the next

half an hour. But while also saying that it's done, like it will be done by the time this comes out. We did record this intro after we recorded the regular episode. Yes. And also between doing those two things, a lot of big developments have happened with things that we talk about in this episode. Yes. So we've really got to start putting episodes out quicker or something.

Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, that's going to be amazing, that Brisbane show. That's just a little reminder for you. Then in April we've got shows every Sunday afternoon at the European Beer Cafe. Huge guests. You guys know the drill. These shows are always great.

Sunday afternoon, every 3pm every Sunday, what is it, the 2nd, the 9th, the 16th, the 23rd or so? That's it. I think that's it. And of course, immediately after those live podcasts, you can immediately go and see our two stand-up shows in the same venue but just downstairs. Yes.

In a much smaller space, weirdly enough. So it's straight away, it's 3 o'clock is a live podcast, 4.15 it's Cal Chandler, world's greatest comedian in the world. Nailed it. And then straight after that is Tommy Daslow, Dinner for Two. Yes. And also doing those shows every night of the week, 8.15 and 9.30,

back to back at the European Beer Cafe. Come down and check us out. Yep. Get on the website. If you've got any queries about any of this stuff, it's all on littledumbdumbclub.com. Of course, there's only – you know what? There's the additional show that we're going to do, of course,

which is the Roast of Durek Jaisinger. And that's at 11pm on a Friday night on April the 14th. 14th, right. There's not many tickets left for that. If you want to get a ticket for that, they are selling, that's per capita, it's probably selling the best out of everything. Nice. So it is nearly sold out.

Nice. So get your last minute ticket for that. What else? Is there anything else? I think all we've got to do is plug the Patreon. Yes. All right. That's a way for people to contribute to the show, keep us in this lavish lifestyle that

we've grown so accustomed to. Yeah. So this is, you can chip in however much you want per month, but for certain amounts, you get a little reward, including bonus episodes, including a magazine that we do each month that we send out to you. And for $2 or more each month, you get this little segment where we read out your name at the start of the show. Yes.

Like a little fucking kids' show from the 90s when it was your birthday. Oh, yeah. Let's do that. Okay. So thank you to Patreon subscribers, starting with number one, Lauren Holtz. Lauren Holtz.

Lauren Holtz. H-O-L-Z. Oh, H-O-L-Z. I thought you were going to say it was H-O-L-T-Z. No. Almost like Harold Holt. Oh, no. In which case I was going to say,

you know here in Melbourne, they've got a pool. No, don't. Don't do that. Named after the Prime Minister. No. Who disappeared at sea. Isn't that weird?

Well, you know what? That is a weird thing if you hear it for the first time. Now, if you're like us and you're embittered comics and we hear the same open mic and make the same joke every year when they start in comedy. Well, it's not the same one open mic. It is. It's passed down through the ages. I'm pretty sure it is.

Oh, there's just one guy. Yeah. He does one gig for a year that we both happen to be at. Yes. And he's still, ten years in, he still can't get over the fact that there's a pool called the Harold Holt Pool. Yes, he keeps doing it until me and you laugh about it. Well, the Harold Holt Pool was around the corner

from where I grew up. So I feel like I'm just never going to escape it because now I live on the other side of the city, but I'm forced to just keep constantly hearing about it through the medium of comedy. Yeah. Thanks, Lauren. And that is the true tragedy behind that story.

Not the fact that a prime minister drowned. He might still be alive. We don't know. We don't know. He could still be out there. Maybe he listens. He could be still. I mean, the big word was back in the day

that he got captured by Chinese submarines. Yes. That could happen. That could happen. Maybe that'll happen to us in Koh Samui. There is, you know, when we look at our Facebook page and you can see all the listeners and whatever, all the fans of the page and whatever, there is a couple from China. So that could be Harold Holt.

Oh, really? Could be Harold Holt. Could be. Could be him. You know, it gets, you know what? A lot of people listen to the podcast when they're travelling. And you'd have to load up on podcasts if you're in a submarine for the last 60 years. So maybe that's him. Travelling. And you'd have to load up on podcasts if you're in a submarine for the last 60 years.

So maybe that's him. We do have one of our list of data is 10,000 leagues under the sea. Do you think that's him? Or is that some listeners that we have at the lost city of Atlantis? Oh, right. Okay. Well, maybe. Well, you know what?

Whoever it is, that would be just as interesting. Yeah. Thanks, Lauren. Thanks, Lauren. Thanks, Harold. That's what we got out of your name. Yeah. Thanks, Holti. Thank you, too. Thanks, Lauren. Thanks, Harold. That's what we got out of your name. Yeah, thanks, Holti.

Thank you, too. And this is very much appreciated. It might sound annoying, but I keep insisting, please, if you haven't had your name read out, annoy me. Annoy me on social media. Not on text message, if you can. Social media is a lot more palatable.

Thank you. But this person has complained that she hasn't, or gently reminded me that she hasn't heard her name read out. So pleased to be of your service and address that problem. Here it is, all fixed. Thank you to listener Lorna Doodson. Thank you, Lorna. Yeah. Lorna Doodson.

Yeah, I kind of saw this email through our email address, and so I've had a few days to work something up to do with the name. Didn't do it. Yeah, right. She, I remember, you know, you get to know these names and you affiliate them with certain actions or whatever. She is in England and she bought a big old warm hoodie from us. So, yeah.

Oh, nice. And I think she, I remember sending it to like a golf course or something. So, it was like, you know, you don't send something to a golf course every day. No. No. She could, well, she has the same last name as a friend of ours. Yes. Who made those creepy looking dolls of us. Andrew Dootson of X Anyone for Tennis fame. No. No. She could, she has the same last name as a friend of ours who made those creepy looking dolls

of us. Andrew Dootson of X Anyone for Tennis fame. Yes. That's what I always associate her with. Sorry, Lorna, maybe now you'll start to establish your own identity in my head. Well, now you know what you can think of her now? You can think of her being really warm as she drives a bloody three wood into the middle of a

fairway. That's what you... Sure. Thanks, wood. Thanks the p of a fairway. That's what you... Sure. Yeah. Thanks, wood. Thanks, the pommy Happy Gilmore. Mm-hmm. Nice. The warm, pommy Happy Gilmore. So, there's a couple of newies. You know what I thought?

I thought we'd revisit a few previous people that we've already read out. Oh, Flashback Friday. Yeah, some Hall of Famers, because these people put in so much money that it feels unfair that we've only said them once. Oh, okay. Wow, the people who've put in money and haven't been read out once. This is going to drive them insane. Yeah, but some people hit me up and they go,

they've put in two bucks yesterday that hasn't even cleared yet, and they go, where the fuck is everything? I haven't done an episode since. Where's my free ticket to Samui? What the fuck's going on? All right, so what have we got? Well, so these guys have put in so much fucking money, and they've kept going.

And plus, we read their name out really early on when this wasn't as fun and we just went, John Smith. Thanks, Johnny. Is that your nickname? Cool.

To be fair, what do you do with John Smith? That's a fucking tough one. Well, I shouldn't have read out John Smith because he's pitched in fucking nothing. So that's a free one

for you, Johnny. Let's do a couple of Hall of Fam one for you, Johnny. Thank you, Laura. Let's do a couple of Hall of Famers. Here we go. Thank you to Ebony Dawn. Ebony Dawn. Speaking of people in England, she is relocated to England. And this, shout out to her especially because she was here earning the tough Australian dollar. You know, like she's at home.

It's easy to save. So this is the new thing. Revisiting old people who've chipped in and just discussing their finances on the show. Cool. Yes. This is the new thing. If you haven't been read out yet, send us your latest bank statement and we'll read that out on the show. Are you happy now? Send us your tax return. So Ebony Dawn, she's in England now. Fuck, tough place to live. Yes.

Tough place to earn a pound She I thought Well she's gone over there A little better now That they've closed up Those borders Right

Right They've fixed that Yep Thanks Brexit So She's over there She's earning It's tough to earn a dollar

Tough Especially because They deal with pounds So And she has kept up She's kept up the patron Has she really Yeah

Wow It's amazing Well you know what I'd like to say to that Yes Freshen your drink governor with pounds. And she has kept up. She's kept up the Patreon. Has she really? Yeah. Wow. It's amazing. Well, you know what I'd like to say to that? Yes? Fresh in your drink, governor. Fuck. That was actually her. She rang in.

It's her first calling guest. It's true what they say. Australians with that wandering accent. She's picked that up already. That's remarkable. Thanks, Ebony. She's a long time. She's been around since almost the beginning, I dare say.

A long time fixture at our live shows. She's certainly been chipping in since the beginning of Patreon. Well, good on her. Thanks, Ebony. She's a long-time, she's been around since almost the beginning, I dare say. A long-time fixture at our live shows. She's certainly been chipping in since the beginning of Patreon. Well, good on her. Thanks, Ebony. Plenty of it. We are, you know what,

we've taken all that money you have given personally and that's, we've just funded the Costa Movie Podcast Festival off the back of that. You could say that I love Ebony from dusk until dawn.

Wow. From Ebony dusk until Ebony dawn. From Eb From ebony dusk until ebony dawn. From ebony and ivory dusk until ebony and ivory dawn. Is that clunkier? Is that even clunkier? Fuck, she'll be... All right, that's the last time she chips in. Thank you do.

Courtney Butters Kerr. Courtney Butters Kerr. Sounds like a description of a porno or something. I don't know if I said this last time you read that out. I thought you were going to say Courtney Barnett. I was like, holy shit. No. International music sensation Courtney Barnett chips in.

I can't stress enough that that's not her. It's someone who married – it's someone – the child of Mr. Butters and Mrs. Kerr. That's who that is. Courtney Butters Kerr. Courtney Butters minus Kerr. CBK. Yeah. Courtney Butters minus Kerr.

Yeah. That's how it reads. That's kind of what it is, isn't it? Yeah. We should get that going as a pronunciation.r. CBK. Yeah. Courtney Butters Minus Kerr. Yeah. That's how it reads. That's kind of what it is, isn't it? Yeah. We should get that going as a pronunciation. It's like algebra. Yeah. It's like word algebra.

Butters Kerr. It's interesting. I'll give it that. Butters. I like the name Courtney. Yeah. For a boring girl. For.

Oh, well, for both. You like it for a boy? Yeah. I don't mind it for a girl. I don't know about for a boy. I like feminine male names, I've got to say. I'm a big fan of it for a boy? Yeah. I don't mind it for a girl. I don't know about it for a boy. I like feminine male names, I've got to say. I'm a big fan of it.

Like what? Like Courtney. Give me another example. Peter? Fuck. P-E-T-A? Do you like that? Peter's more of a,

I think Peter's more of a masculine name for a, like you associate Peter with. Yep. Ashley? Oh, yeah. I think Ashley's more feminine as a name.

I like it more as a girl's name than a boy's name. Yeah, I like Ashley as a girl's name. I mean, this is great stuff. Did we say all this the first time around? I hope so. We must have. That's the only logical thing you can talk about

after you hear a name like Courtney Butters Kerr. Thanks, Butters. Thanks, yeah. Thanks for buttering Kerr. Thank you, too. Damien Perkins. Oh, Perko. Oh, Perko's still at it again

Big Perko He's a long time Long time Long time chiming in on the old socials Yep Damien Perkins Yeah I like it I don't

Any relation to Kieran do you think? Kieran To Damien Kieran No No I don't know Any relation to Anthony Perkins I don't know who that is Who played the lead in Psycho.

Oh, okay. Yeah. I always just assume it's always just worth asking if someone has a similar last name or the same last name to a famous person. It's always worth asking. Do you reckon they're related? Yeah. Because one of these days, it's got to be a yes.

Yeah. It's got to come back where they're like, yes, I am King Jong-il's son. Yes. If someone is related to anyone famous, can you give actually – Any dictators, hit us up. Yeah. If you are a Patreoner and you've got any interesting detail about your life –

Yes. Give us a bit of a hand. Yes. If you're related to someone, if you've got a funny story about your name – Yes. If you're a Barron Trump, if you're listening – Yes, yes. Let us know that you're the Barron Trump when you write in. Yes. If you're related to someone. Yes. If you've got a funny story about your name. Baron Trump, if you're listening. Yes, yes. Let us know that you're the Baron Trump when you write in.

Yeah. Well, given that he seems to have a bit of the Asperger's or something about him, he probably does listen. So, shout out to him. Fucking hell. Thanks, Baron. No, not thanks, Baron, yet. Until we get that money.

Okay, sure, sure. No thanks to him. Let's do one more. One more. All right. One more. One more. All right. Well, sure, sure. No thanks to him. Let's do one more. One more. All right, one more. We've got to get out of here. All right, well, let's get the fuck out of here. All right, all right.

Thank you to a new Patreon subscriber. Oh, a new one? Yeah, let's say that. This is one of those ones that's complaining that they haven't been read out yet? Yeah, yeah, yeah. After like one day. Yeah, sure. Okay.

Sure. What have you got? First name, another foreign sounding one. Another foreign sounding. Is this one that could be a man's or a woman's name? Certainly. Well, another foreign sounding one. Another foreign sounding. Is this one that could be a man's or a woman's name? Certainly. Well, I don't know. Okay.

Let's hear it. You tell me whether you think this is a man or a woman. Okay. All right. First name, Ozo. Second name, Samui Resort is the best. I mean, if your last name is Samui Resort is the best, definitely call your kid Ozo.

Great name. Great name. What a great name. Ozo the Bozo. Yeah. Well, hey, that's a bit negative. I think we should look after this particular Patreon sponsor. I think they've – I can see a bright future for them and us. Yes, definitely.

I can see them as a long-time sponsor of us. Yeah. So coincidentally, we are staying at a hotel that names something similar. Yeah. So, uh, coincidentally we do have a, we are staying at a hotel that names something similar to that. So that is weird. That's weird. That was ringing the bell, wasn't it?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting. That's interesting. So get on that, get on that.

Um, so thanks. Thanks Ozo. Thanks Ozo. All right. We got to wrap this up guys. Little dumdum club.com tickets to Adelaide. Uh,

yeah. Brisbane is coming up. All our shows in April, our standup shows shows info on the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival join the email list

find out all the updates head to the Ozo Chaweng Koh Samui Resort put in your code and we'll see you out there

exactly go to the actual you can't use the code word if you go to one of the intermediary sites you need to go to

the actual website and you get like 3030 a night discount. Great. Awesome. Great. Enjoy this episode with Sam Mack and Tom Ballard. Hey, mate. Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week.

Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo and sitting opposite me is the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day Dickhead. We mentioned this at the top of last week's episode. You and I have two sold out shows on in Brisbane for the podcast. Yes, yes. We thought we would get into the scalping racket. Yeah.

So we've put a double pass to both of the sold out shows in Brisbane up on eBay. Yep. We started the bidding at cost price like what they would have cost. So nothing? It cost us nothing. Hang on, who did you buy these tickets from? Well, the printing fee,

try booking, they take like a dollar out so that's cost price. We started at $80. Let's say the market value. How's that? Not what they're worth but the market value. Does that terminology appeal to the Okay. Not what they're worth, but the market value. Yeah. Does that terminology appeal to the fishmonger in you? Please continue the podcast. I'm happy to announce that we've now, we got our first bid, so we met what the value of

them was. Yep. And we've now cracked over. We are now $4 in profit. We are now $4 into the green. And how much does it charge that eBay slings us? $84. All right. This is big. But this is good.

What do you think we're going to get up to? Oh, fuck. 84. Look, that's a good question. How long does the auction go for? I've put it for five days. Five days. So that's from yesterday.

So it will have ended by the time people hear this. Yeah, right. So you could argue, pointless us even talking about it on the podcast. Can you extend it? I think I can, yeah. Okay, we'll try and extend it to at least when this comes out. Try and extend it until an hour before the gig and see how we go.

We've got faith in people paying $100. I'd like to think we'd get up to $100. That'd be good. My secret goal is you and I are sharing an Airbnb, which we've never done before when we've gone to do one of these, if we could cover the Airbnb. Now that would be superb. What about if someone bids a house for it then?

Just gives us a house for the night. So you can come to the show for free if you put us up. That's not bad. And you have to leave your own house so we can have it. Well, but okay. There'd be people who'd do that. I don't want to fucking stay in someone's house if they're there. Really? No.

That's not what we're doing with this Airbnb, is it? No. It's a whole house then. But yeah're doing with this Airbnb, is it? No. No, no, no. It's a whole house. But yeah, let's see. I'm fascinated to see how high this gets. I don't want to sleep in the same house as any listeners that are going to creep in and try and generate some content

in the middle of the night. You go to fucking Thailand. Well, let's welcome our guest into the show. First of all, you may have seen him recently on First Contact. Please welcome back into Little Dumbdum club, Tom Ballard. Hello! You've been appearing in the background of episodes quite recently because you and I live together.

People may have heard you kind of like, you know, walking through our living room and we thought, we like the cut of this guy's jib. Let's give him a crack in the hot seat. How much are you paying to be on this episode? That's usually what happens these days, isn't it? Is this a big ad for you this is a freebie

I've heard you guys desperately trying to cover costs on all your trips so I thought I'd do you a favour and come in and do myself

I have a cool ticket story I literally got a phone call before I came here from my old mate Ray Martin the host of First Contact who is

it's such a bizarre thing to look at your phone and say fuck Ray Martin's calling me and he often especially when you didn't even put to look at your phone and say, fuck, Ray Martin's calling me. Especially when you didn't even put that number in your phone. You just know those numbers off the top of your head. You're like, that's Ray calling.

Everyone's phone comes with Ray Martin's number. He bought that phone secondhand from the Midday Show. In the future, everyone will talk to Ray Martin for five minutes. And he's doing this David Attenborough tour and he's asked me if i want to come see him interview david attenborough on sunday afternoon that's nice when you say he's doing a david attenborough tour i thought he was just going to walk around the bush and point at monkeys or whatever fuck a rock spider walk around the bush that's what david attenborough's dedicated his life to so how well do you really know Ray Martin?

Well, we did spend 28 days on the road with him and he was there the whole time, Uncle Ray, and he tells lots of stories. You went and talked 28 days together. Cool, that's awesome. It took 28 days to make the show. You've misunderstood me.

What I thought was comical effect, but I was wrong. You were sorely mistaken. Well, hey, actually, quickly, let's get our second guest in. He's the unofficial weatherman of the Little Dumb Dumb Club. Please welcome back onto the show, let's get our second guest in. He's the unofficial weatherman of the Little Dundun Club. Please welcome back onto the show, Sam Mack.

Guys, thank you. I mean, I hear you, Ray Martin. I got a text from Koshi yesterday. We've all got stuff going on. We're all busy, Tom. Hang on, if you're the unofficial weatherman of Little Dundun, who's the official one? Oh, yeah, good point.

Probably the sun. Probably this app on my phone. So my question was is this just a thing where, no offence Tom but the tour's just not selling well so they're, Attenborough's on to Martin and going you've got to fill up some of those seats we've got to paper the house, just everyone

you've ever had contact with Will Ferrell from that time he hosted the project with him in character as Anchorman yes, no, no Ray Martin said, I couldn't quite follow what he said, but I've seen on the social media, it was an actual phrase, that people are very desperate to get these tickets.

David Attenborough, for God's sake. He also said, you know, David's 91, so he's probably not going to do another tour. Wow, Ray gets it. Yeah, that is one obit that's ready to go, isn't it? You know how TV, they make them well in advance. He's ready for Earth 2.0, isn't he? Nickname of heaven.

So did Ray specify if you're going as a guest of Ray's? Like you'd actually be going and socialising with Ray? Like is there pre-drinks at Ray's? Yeah, yeah. Pre-drinks at Ray's. Well, it's not at two o'clock

on a Sunday afternoon, so it's definitely pre-drinks at Ray's. We might hang out afterwards. Who knows? Also, how come he said, I've seen on social media that these are very sought-after tickets. Do you want one? It's like, well, what's

he fucking ringing up randoms for if they're so sought-after? I'm not a random, I'm a dear friend and colleague. Like anyone smart, put it on eBay. Yeah, make a leaf out of our book, Ray. I think Ray's hoping to cover his comm. He's staying at an Airbnb this weekend. Hopefully he gets through okay.

You've got to try and get us David Attenborough on this podcast. You've got to put a word into your, in your words, best mate Ray Martin. Make that happen. I think he'd be very interested in the animal behaviour exhibited on this particular show. Why don't they do a lap of the country where the first leg of the tour

is Ray Martin interviewing David Attenborough and then they do a second leg where it's us interviewing Ray Martin and David Attenborough. Why don't they do that? It's a slightly smaller venue. We're still looking for guests in Adelaide and Brisbane. That'd be great. What a surprise.

Yeah, that sounds good. Speaking of where we're being put up at the moment, we are in the salubrious surroundings of whatever this hotel's called for Sam Mac. You're being, because you're a proper person with a real job, you're being put up in a proper hotel room. So thank you very much for having us. You're welcome, guys.

It's always nice to be not our shitholes. Yeah. I always, I'm more than happy to do it. I love it. And we've done it before at, you know, the Como, wherever we stay, always'm more than happy to do it. I love it. And we've done it before, you know, the Como, wherever we stay,

always your core hotel group. Shout out. You're welcome. That's how Channel 7 works, guys. You can learn a bit today. Your SBS crap. He got a free Humpty on.

We're sponsored by colonialism. Big shout out to refugees I always feel a little bit How much are they kicking in for that sponsorship? Nothing, it's a fucking rubbish deal You get a one way ticket to Nauru, that's it I always feel a little bit odd about Just bringing three guys

To my hotel room I feel the need to explain to them It's for a podcast, which I think just makes it seem even Worse, yeah Well I had Lyle Shelton from the Australian Christian Lobby I feel the need to explain to them it's for a podcast, which I think just makes it seem even less interesting. Well, I had Lyle Shelton from the Australian Christian Lobby on my podcast and he came to my hotel room. That was him coming up the elevator.

I was like, let's fucking do this. I wonder what other famous people Ballard will cram into this episode that he knows. He's best myself. The big three. Martin, Attenborough, Shelton. Well, I had a great, like I felt like I was living in a cartoon when I turned up to this

hotel because I was out the front just kind of on the phone and by the time I hung up the phone I went to go to the front door and there was an American couple there with all their bags trying to get in and they're just pushing the door just shoving it and they look at me and they're like what is this some number that we have to call? How do we get

in here? How do we get into this godforsaken place? And I go, oh, I don't know. And then just as a mere, just for the fuck of it, I just grab the handle and I pull the door and wouldn't you know it, the door comes flinging wide open. Like it was, yeah, I think if I hadn't turned up, they'd still be out the front. They hadn't tried just opening the door.

Because it doesn't really look like a front door. Look, in their defence, it is probably the heaviest door I've ever encountered. It actually requires a commitment to

open it. It's not a standard like... Name the rest of the top five. Top five. Okay, so in Adelaide you've

got the Ibis. No, I've got no idea. You went so strong and then stopped so quick. Welcome, guys. It's great to have

you here. The beers are on me, whatever. Oh, yeah. And Sam has shouted his beers out of his mini bar. Just got to say thanks to Stella for joining us here today on the podcast. And James Bogues. Thanks to... Whoa!

Sorry, I'm so sorry. Ballard's trashing my hotel room. Sorry, everyone. Alright, we get it. You learnt this from your mate Keith Moon. We get it. We get everyone. All right, we get it. You learnt this from your mate Keith Moon. We get it. We get it. I've just been sucked up into the sunrise weather guy lifestyle, you know. Bella just spilled a beer all over the carpet, all over the table. Did it get any carpet?

Yeah, it's totally got some carpet. Sorry, everyone. Fucking hell. There are some shattered eardrums from the reaction to that. Let's fuck. Sorry. Sorry about that, guys. Well, I'll tell this because this happened to that. Let's fuck. Sorry. Sorry about that, guys. I'll tell this because this happened to me on

the way here. Now, it is pretty hot at the moment. It's the middle of summer in Melbourne. How hot is it? Fuck you. Hang on, Sam, take notes please. So how hot is it exactly? What does it feel like though? That's what I want to know. Well, it's actually

it's cool change this afternoon. So at time of recording, it's about 32 degrees. What does it feel like, though? That's what I want to know. Well, it's actually, it's cool change this afternoon. So at time of recording, it's about 32 degrees. Great. We expect a top of 37 today. It's not 32 at the moment. It is. Get the app out. Well, it was about 15 minutes ago when I was walking by.

I will. I'm looking at it. All right, I'm looking it up right now. It's not 32 outside. Mate, it's not going to tell you. 29. It says 29. Well, okay, 15 minutes ago.

Well, this is good. This is interesting. Three degrees off. 15 minutes ago, a week before you're listening to this, a weatherman was off by three degrees. This is our new segment called Retrospective Weather Reports. Not sure if it's going to catch on. This is alternative weather.

Right weather from history. I think we got you to do this last time But take a stab on What's the weather going to be when people are listening to this? Just take a punt Well, I imagine they're inside So I'm going to say 18, 19 degrees I'll say this room temperature

Yeah, good That's very safe So yeah, it's a hot one at the moment We're all here in shorts Now, this is a time of year when Like seven inches from the midday sun? Yes, exactly, precisely Feels like seven inches from the midday sun? Yes, exactly, precisely. Feels like seven inches from the midday sun

is actually ten inches from the midday sun. Gotcha. Now, you, Carl Chandler, you are... A lot of people are very opposed to the idea of comedians doing gigs in shorts. Yes. You are perhaps the most, if not one of the most, vocal critics.

I'm quite vehement. You're vehement. Many people have stories about turning up, daring to think that they could turn up to one of your most vocal critics. I'm quite vehement. You're vehement. Many people have stories about turning up, daring to think that they could turn up to one of your gigs in shorts and not hear about it. Who are some of the top offenders in terms of the comedy scene for shorts on stage? Because it's an area that I don't know a lot about.

Well, see, it's a rule where you're not supposed to do it. So I wouldn't say, I can't think of anyone that's really, you know, that continues to do it. A poster child. Especially, as if anyone's going to do it twice to me once I fucking go through them the first time. That's true of a lot of things. The Fleetman plays by his own rules.

I've seen him in shorts. Does he? Yeah. Yeah, I've seen him in shorts. Not at a Carl Chandler gig you haven't. And what is your, I guess, objection to it? Is it more like you're harking back to the old days of showbiz where, you know, hey, we put on a show, we dress up,

it's the audience, it's a respect thing. Exactly. It's not just me. It's not like I've made up the rule. Like it's an unspoken thing. In my opinion, it's disrespecting the audience. And plus also you look at someone in shorts when they walk on stage and your first thought is, what the fuck are they wearing shorts?

Like you're not listening to what they're saying. You're just going, is this part of your little shit-ass character where old fucking Samuel Shortwear? I'm just writing that down. That's good. That's where we disagree because I don't think – I'd love to do a poll at the end of a gig. Go on in shorts and then just find out how many people when I walked on

were going, what's all this about? Well, maybe in one of your little shanty shit-ass gigs you can get away with it, right? But I run a fucking proper show. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. People wear pants or pyjamas. These are the correct attire for comedy. And you eat over a bin

that sees hard and fast rules that we all live by. I feel like this is getting personal, but anyway. Oh yeah, shanty shithole was just a broad stroke, was it? So anyway, yesterday I had a gig last night. I was just popping down to a gig to try out some new material

because it's comedy festival time and everyone's kind of going out. How about trying some material around your fucking calves, mate? Just hold off on them. There'll be plenty of room for this later. So I put a status up on Facebook just going, Melbourne comedians who are doing gigs tonight, are we still adhering to the no shorts rule given how hot it is?

I feel like we need to have a unified, a united front on this one. Yeah. So I just did it to kind of get a bit of a response. It was perfect in terms of what I wanted out of it. People came to the party. We all had a good old time on Facebook. We all had a good old time on Facebook On the way here I got a call

From a journalist From the Herald Sun Who is going to do a story In tomorrow's paper About the no shorts in comedy rule What? And wanted a comment from me Regarding the issue

Fuck Fuck they really got sick of the old women in comedy article, didn't they, this year? Wow. Fuck. Shorts in comedy. Why didn't I get the call for the other point of view? Do you want me to give you the guy, do you want to call the guy

now live on air and give a... Yes. Because I'll be honest, I threw you under the bus. I didn't name you, but I said there's one room runner in particular who really adheres to the rule. Give me the number now. I'll text him while we're on and I'll say if you want, I'll start gearing up this message already.

People say print is dead. Look him up on, you might have him on Facebook actually. I don't want to read his number out or say his name, but it's him. No, I don't. You don't have him? No. Okay. Should we guess who it is now, Tom and I? say his name but um well just it's him no I don't you don't have him no okay can we should we guess

who it is now Tom and I it's look I'll give you I'll give you a bit of a clue he's um given that you're a weatherman he'd be very helpful

letting you know what's hot and what's not oh okay so at the Herald Sun so yes Andrew Bolt

yeah what's hot what people what's not the opposite what's not hot the earth because global warming isn't real So yes, Andrew Bolt. What's hot? What people? What's not? The opposite. What's not hot? The earth because global warming isn't real.

I've just messaged him saying I have a strict rule enforcer here with me who would like to make a comment for the article. Let's see if we can get this to happen live on air. All right. What did you say? What did you say? I said there's some people who think pretty strictly that you should never wear shorts on stage. I was just wanting to, yeah, have a bit of fun on Facebook.

And then I ended by sort of saying, I don't think it matters that much. It's just a body, man. Because his thing was, why is it such a hard and fast rule? Like those people who don't think you should wear shorts, why are they so attached to that? Is it because of seeing human knees? Is it the lack of respect?

And I went, well, this particular guy who I'm talking about, who knows what the fuck's going on? It'll come up well in print. You guys are very close to it. Is there an issue with short shaming in comedy? Like is this something that's been happening for a while? Are there people who have been victimised for their... Yeah, but I'm mainly

the one doing it, to be fair. So I have no issue with that. At your own comedy night. Yes. And then telling other people off for doing it. Yes. Yeah, right.

Yes, I think there needs to be rules where people know what they're expected of to come along and, you know, it just looks weird. I just think that it's been... It's like women not wearing hijabs, right?

Like uncovered pieces of meat, right? Yeah. It's disgusting. Yes, yeah. This guy gets it. It's been that rule. It's like women not wearing hijabs, right? Like uncovered pieces of meat, right? It's disgusting. Yes. Yeah. This guy gets it. I cannot wait to see this article tomorrow. He's done it again.

Sorry. I didn't have it. This is like one of the best things that's ever happened to me. Like this is so good. This is, yeah, this is the death of print. Totally. What are they putting in an article like that? No one gives a fuck about comedy to start with, let alone. Actually the death of print. Totally. What are they putting in an article like that? No one gives a fuck about comedy to start with, let alone.

Actually, death of print. You guys know the I Spy or the Spotted section of the paper? Yes. Guess who appeared in it recently? Hello. Yeah. Sydney as well, so not the small markets. Adelaide, my hometown, which I was very honoured to appear in once.

To be honest, my first guess was going to be the guy who's put it on social media five times already. And printed a t-shirt. Real story. Yeah, I was spotted at the IGA on Oxford Street. Whoa. Yeah, buying cat food. Nice. And it was in an edition where the other three or four people who were spotted were all doing,

I guess, like cooler things, which is not hard when you're buying cat food at IGA. Yeah, dog food. No, they were like working out on a gym, walking with friends while wearing sunglasses. That's just pointing out that I had no friends, basically. Nice bit of detail. At the opening of a hot new restaurant in Double Bay was one of the other ones. So there I am at the IGA, but I'm now a poster child for IGA and cat food. Are you verified on Twitter?

Yes. Oh, there you go. You got the double. You're officially a celebrity now. That's good. Well, it's a big moment in my career. I now think twice before going to the IGA. Yeah, sure.

You don't want... You just want to live your life. Is it like the Chateau Marmont or whatever? You go when you want to spot a star? Yeah, try to get a booth at the IGA. I've been spotted eating sushi once. Have you? Yes, in Spotted Confidential.

And the thing that I love to chat about with the Spotted, we used to talk about it with Will on the radio, was the verification of the Spotteds because Fitzy of Nova, Fitzy and Whipper, he has been spotted at a service station in Blacktown that he's never been to. Great. So he's just some other tool

lanky dude who was there. I fucking love it. This is what we should do. Spot people that have never been somewhere and put them in really fucked places. Put Andrew Bolt in the Laird Hotel. Spotted. Fuck me. Yeah, that's what we want to do.

That's awesome. Spotted at the shorts factory outlet, Carl Chandler. Yeah. At the only shorts comedy night. It's kind of, It's so daggy But it's like That's a real That's a showbiz dream of mine

To be popular enough To be in the spotted Oh sure Yeah Why not Although I don't know Is it Did you feel

Has my life changed Yeah definitely Is it a bit unsettling Like kind of reading that The next day Do you know what I mean Well considering I made A celebration video Slash reenactment of reading that the next day? Do you know what I mean? Well, considering I made a celebration video

slash reenactment of it to the Hall & Oates song You Make Her My Dreams Come True No, it wasn't overly unsettling I probably enjoyed I don't know I've always found that You're on television every day

I know, yeah Yeah, but there's something about the amount of copies of that Spotted Sam Mack on fucking TV It's not the same because I know I'm on TV I don't know

that I'm on CCTV or on IGA when you're buying cat food you go god I wish people could see this I normally spend

about four hours just walking up and down the aisle eventually hoping that someone will spot it I mean that weather report was alright but this is content

do you want us to get do you want us to get Tony Martin to add IGA to your IMDB profile is that what you want us to get Tony Martin to add IGA to your IMDB profile? Is that what you want? This is good interviewing.

I'll follow up question. What's the name of the cat? Two cats. Two rescue cats. So doing my bit for charity. One of them's name is Coco. She's a white Bermuda with one tooth. And the other one is Catra, who's a blind cat.

So they're both, they feature prominently on my social media media if you want to check them out, Sam Mac Insta. We actually made a gangster rap video with Coco on Saturday night so she's doing well. Where's she been spotted? And Tom, follow up question to you how was the sushi? Delightful thank you, yes. I think it was sushi I bought after 3pm and was discounted

for that fact. Did that get any detail in the spot? Did you have any... Tom Ballard eating sushi. Did you have any inkling that you may have been spotted that day? Was there anyone looking at you in a peculiar way? Was there any bushes inside the sushi restaurant

that someone was just spying out of? I did think it was weird that Trump's eyes on the front cover of the newspaper were following you. How does it work? There's just a hotline where people just, anyone can just call in and go, I just saw this bloke down at the shop. Because you don't need to verify it, do you? No.

And they only give their first name normally. So it was Mick who spotted me. Mick. Yeah, that's all they gave. That's all the info. Classic fake name. That's just a journal, isn't it? Because no one's actually.

It must be great to see In the meeting room When they have All of the Let's say you get ten And you're going to print four of them The debate about Who is worthy Of being in Spotted

And what they're doing And who's left on the There's got to be a combo Of the two things It's like the level of celebrity Versus the activity And where does it meet In the middle

People should go fucking ask Paul McCartney Walking down the street Yeah yeah yeah He's back baby Eating sushi Is there a Spotted in Melbourne? People should go fucking ask, oh, Paul McCartney walking down the street. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's back, baby. Yeah. Eating sushi. Is there a spotted in Melbourne in any of the Melbourne papers?

There's not one, is there? I think there is. I think there is. I don't know if there is. So I want to do this. I want to get someone in the paper. Okay. Yeah. So who do we, like, do you want to choose the person?

Yeah, because what will be the good thing is, is the sweet combo of the person plus the location. Like, you can't just like, you know, you in an IGA, fair enough, that's what you do. But let's put someone, let's do a you know, professor whatever in the kitchen with the candlestick. Let's do one of them.

Let's set up the person and the location. But what if, I think it must have to be, surely we can get the listeners involved in this Because if enough people Say that they saw such and such Down at this restaurant Then they're going to be more likely to run it

Because they think, oh well now this is verified By multiple sources Yeah, I agree, a concentrated campaign That everyone's uniformed on So if we pick a day and we come up with who it is and where it is And we say to the listeners, alright Everyone flood the text line What if we pick a day and we come up with who it is and where it is and we say to the listeners, all right, everyone flood the text line. What if we pick someone and then everyone goes

and just spreads this person out all over Sydney? It's just like Sydney Zoo, Opera House, Maroubra, whatever. Think of a fourth one. Sydney City. Yeah. That's a place in Sydney, yeah? Yeah, sure. I was going to say we could do us, but no, we're not going to get

in there. Even if we got our listeners to vote a hundred times that they saw us at the... Okay, so what about if we start with who's a celebrity that hasn't been mentioned a lot lately, but you think deserves to be getting more airtime and prominence, who maybe we could, you know, play a helping hand in sort of bringing them back into

the public sphere. Spotted. Spotted. Spotted. Spotted us at Her Majesty's request. Spotted halfway up. No, all right. Wow. Dillard Jones, I think I spotted everywhere.

Yeah. Spotted from space.'s due a comeback that we can launch? Yeah, who's a You know, we should pick someone from the show Someone that's been on the show Or we pick someone who We want to have on the show Who we've never had before We get them in Spotted

And then we can send that to them and go, look at the work to boost your profile that we're already doing and you haven't been on the show yet. So who's on your wish list? David Attenborough. Spotted at the zoo, just grabbing anyone nearby and just narrating what's going on in front of him. You know what, Sydney, well, you know what,

we haven't had Larry Emder on for ages. Maybe we should do Larry Emder. Larry features in there quite a bit, to be honest. Yeah, so it wouldn't be that uncommon. Okay, that's no good then. Yeah, who's someone that hasn't been around for a while from TV or from...

Let's have a think anyway. Okay, all right. We'll get on to this. This is an ongoing project. Yeah, we'll get on to it. Hey, so this is what happened. Speaking of your shit-ass little shanty of a comedy that we were talking about before.

Jesus Christ. I frequented it a week ago. Spotted! Carl and Catherine's comedy. Yes! Wearing shorts. No, not true. So, I went there and you bring your, well, you don't bring them, but your parents come to your comedy shows, which I always find odd because my parents have been to see me like once ever

and they're coming along to Tommy's regular Tuesday Night Comedy. Is that because Tommy's parents love him? I was about to say, I think that's the thing he finds weird. I think it's because he's an only child and so they've got to do that because if something happens to me, they've got a spare. It's like fine, but they've got to look after the fucking little golden child over here. So they come and – anyway, they come along. You're not even on and they're coming along to support the room.

Yeah, well, I think they've been – it's been running for about a year and a half and I think they've come four times. Oh, really? Because mum usually works Tuesday nights, so it's just a rare when she has the night off they'll come down. Well, they came down, so that was nice to have that support. Well, what they do is they come down and it's a very weird situation because they'll sit there and then it'll get to the break.

Dad will just leave Mum sitting there and then he'll just go rogue and just walk around finding everyone who's been on and give them a bit of unsolicited feedback about what he thinks of their comedy. Well, your dad didn't wait for half time, that's for sure, with me. He came up with the star of the gig and I was eating chips. Yeah. And he comes up and has a go and goes, oh, gee, that's not very good what you're eating,

is it? I was like, it's all right. It's fine. He goes, oh, I think you're eating chips. Spotted cholesterol going in your mouth. Spotted an old cunt sticking his nose where it shouldn't be. So he's like, what are you doing eating that? I thought you were supposed to be on some sort of diet or whatever.

And I said, what I'm doing is I'm not eating bread. They're not bread chips. They're not fucking chip rolls. They're just chips. He's like, okay, yeah, all right. Well, and I said, look, I'm doing all right. He goes, yeah, yeah, I guess so. I guess you're doing all right.

I mean, before, fuck, you used to be a bit fat. I was like, what? I wasn't fat. Dad cut red meat out of his diet about six years ago and now he just thinks he's got all the answers when it comes to exercise and dieting. Also, I love you going, imagine fat shaming people. You would never find me.

That's fine if you're fat. You think I'm fat? We're all looking at you. Jesus Christ. So he's fat showing me. I'm like, what the fuck? I wasn't fat. This is great.

I never would have thought that in terms of bullying, I knew you meeting your match was going to happen at some date. Never would I have dreamed that it would have been my 70-year-old dad. I don't want to take appearance advice from some 70-year-old cunt in a bow tie. Real good. Fuck. Oh, man, it was terrible. It really affected me.

And then, because Josh Earl was there, and then he laughed and went, yeah, like in a great, I was like, fuck off. Josh did, because I wasn't there to hear this. I was on the other side of the room. Josh did run over to me and grab me and go, did you hear what just happened? So when do we get the Carl Chandler Mamma Mia blog about fat shaming comedy?

Yeah, but I'm pro fat shaming. I'm on Daddy Dia, whatever the opposite of that is. Daddy Dia. I'm pro fat shaming Ronnie Definitely a gay site Ronnie Ronnie Chang Ronnie Chang will tell you

I fat shamed him into shape He's He got the Daily Show Off the back of my My horrible behaviour So Hey If you want a career in America

Hit me up guys What's your advice to Mr. Alsop What parts of his appearance Do you think he could approve? Oh, the bow tie. Bow tie? Lose that? Like, if you wear something that's that closely affiliated with ventriloquist dummy, like, that's...

And you're not a tall man. Like, it's really... He might as well draw those lines on his chin, you know? It's not... That's easy. That's an easy one to start with. Next time you see my dad, I'm going to make sure he's in shorts just to really fucking set you off.

Next time I come to your gig, have him intro the gig in shorts with someone behind him with his hand up your ass. Fuck. Oh, man. Yeah, I'm sorry. But hey, at least you avoided, you know, most people get there. What would you rather? Would you rather that what you got for your appearance

or would you rather him come up to you after your gig and tear down every single piece of your material bit by bit? Fuck. Yeah, good question. I don't know. Honestly, I reckon you got off lightly, given what I know he said to some other people there. Oh, right.

Did he do anything the other night? He likes to say, like, because I go in about it and he's like, they love it. Comedians love it when I say it to them. They're so thankful. And I'm like, just because they don't tell you to fuck off, that's not them loving it. That's just basic politeness. Yeah, no one ever says that.

He went and saw Josh Earle's show once and told Josh that the guitar was too loud and he couldn't hear Josh's vocals. And the way Dad tells the story is Josh then went, thank you so much. I've been waiting for someone to notice that. I'm like, what do you mean he's been waiting

for someone to notice? He's just been doing this gig inaudible for the whole comedy festival. On purpose to get a bit of attention. When's someone going to bring this up? Well, I think, obviously your parents are very supportive. I think I've been lucky enough to have supportive parents

whereas they would never give me advice about anything. They just sort of go, oh, you'll figure it out. You know what you're doing. They've never pressured me. Like it took quite a while. It's been mentioned once or twice. It's taken me quite a while to get engaged to my girlfriend. And they never mentioned anything the whole time.

And my girlfriend would actually say. And this is a good thing you say. No, my girlfriend would actually say, haven't they said anything to you? Don't they bring it up with you all the time? I'm like, no, no, no, they trust me. It's all good. And so she's like, oh, okay. And I got that strong feeling that her parents were very much the same

but were just not saying it to my face. So it was very much, I think they were saying to her, when's he going to fucking do it? What's going on? What's wrong? Whatever. But then they were polite enough To not say it to my face Yeah

Because I was very appreciative of it That is nice But the What's wrong I reckon I reckon it went long enough That maybe the advisor At a certain point

Skewed into How about you kick him to the curb And just get someone else Maybe Maybe But what I like was So they would They would never sort of

Dare to say anything to me But So as soon as we got engaged The next thing we went to The next function we went to together My girlfriend's mum, now that it's all official, then came up with the first time, went, yeah, yeah, how's it all going?

You busy at work? And I was like, yeah, I'm busy, I'm busy. And she goes, yeah, cool. You can always go back to graphic design though, can't you? Oh, nice. The first time she's ever mentioned anything about my career or anything like that. But now that it's locked in, now she's worried for her daughter.

Now she's like, yeah, but you can go back to doing, you know, the classified ads. Plus you don't get fat again, are you? No ring, I notice. No ring? Have we discussed this? Why don't you have an engagement? Men have engagement rings, don't they?

What? Don't men have engagement rings? Oh, wow, you are so far off this marriage thing. That's weird. No, that's not a thing. Don't men have engagement rings, don't they? What? Don't men have engagement rings? Oh, wow, you are so far off this marriage thing. That's weird. No, that's not a thing. Don't men have engagement rings? I think they do. I think they sometimes do, yeah.

Look at his face. That's a very rare thing. That's not a thing. I'm sure that's not a thing. You don't have an engagement ring? Not for a man. I don't know. I've got two cats.

I've got two cats. I'm out. I've never heard of a male engagement ring. I've never heard of that. Hey, you know what? Put a status up about it, about how the male engagement ring doesn't exist. You'll be a fucking scum.

You'll be here on set in two days' time. Yeah, I'll get the call from mum and me after that, for sure. My parents are very happy to offer feedback as well on my work. So the common bit of feedback I get from mum is iron your shirt. Like that's an actual bit of... And you'll see the ironing board is out today, which is a big thing for me. Like I'm not great at it.

I spend like seven to ten minutes ironing and it still creases on it. So I don't know what I'm doing wrong. So she would definitely get up and watch you every morning then because... She watches the 6am and the 6.30 cross. So one day we had a link issue and the 6am cross didn't go to air and she was panic stationed. I had six messages from her. Is everything okay?

What happened? When are you on again? So major cut through in the mum demographic, which is great. That would really help because you'd be on the blow to Channel 7 anyway. Like panicking, then your mum's trying to clog up the line as well. Yeah, hang on, Michael Pell. Mum's messaging. And dad actually has more creative ideas.

So kind of like going around to the comics after the shows. He's not a fan of the cash cow, which is rare. He said the cash cow's got to go, which is a big call. And he said, why don't you replace it? Just let it go for a few weeks. Just give it a couple of weeks off and just have the money monkey. That was his actual idea. Good alliteration.

Yeah, yeah. And then he had another idea last night. He called me not to chat about life or how everything's going on the road, literally just was his actual idea. Good alliteration. Yeah, yeah. And then he had another idea last night. He called me not to chat about life or how everything's going on the road, literally just to pitch an idea. He's like, I've got a show idea. He's kind of like Alan Partridge. Great. He's like, I've got a show idea.

I go, yeah, okay. And he's like, it's called I'm a Celebrity, Get Me In Here. And I'm like, okay, what is it? And he goes, I haven't thought of anything else. It's just a name. It's Shannon Knoll trying to get into that nightclub. What the fuck? He knows money monkey isn't an expression, right?

Cash cow is an expression. But he's just like, well, it's that animal money. Why not the Czech chicken? What's wrong with that? The bank bird. The PayPal pig I'm just hoping to get me in here Yeah what would happen

I didn't think it through I mean Yeah maybe we should talk about it What would happen People that you Want to go to the jungle You're voting them into the jungle Is that

That's not bad That would be great And every Just literally any Like round one Oh yeah Viewers at home Can vote for literally

Anyone they can think of Yeah I did enjoy Because I do watch Sunrise I do watch The viewers at home can vote for literally anyone they can think of. I did enjoy it because I do watch Sunrise. I do enjoy the show and I do enjoy – Man, you can see how much hard work you put into. Like there's a lot of – Australia's number two. There's a lot of gear.

There's a lot of gear put into your segment. So it's good. It's like, fuck, you can see you peddling along. It's very good. But I watched it the other day and I was like... You really do. You have the viewing habits of someone's auntie. You love game shows.

Yeah. You love the morning shows. No, I love game show hosts, but I don't really like game shows. That's even better. Yeah, yeah. You do talk to me quite often, which I love, about, you know, you see stuff, which it's good to have those extra eyes and ears. You are kind of the Tommy's dad of my TV.

Yes. In a good way, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your camera obviously does add 10 pounds as well. But what I did enjoy the other day, because you're always like sent out into buttfuck nowhere, you know, absolutely everywhere doing, you know, some hula hoop competition in Kalgoorlie.

It's like, oh, yeah, there's Sam Mack. That was a great week of television. But I turned on the other day, Super Bowl's on. Oh, cut to the weather. Oh, Edwina Bartholomew live from the Super Bowl. How'd you fuck that up? You're in West Wyalong counting fucking dominoes and she gets a gig over there.

Look, I'm not going to lie. Eddie is the junkie. Counting dominoes and she gets a gig over there look i'm not gonna lie eddie eddie is the junkie eddie eddie look deservedly so eddie's been on the show a long time and does an amazing job and deserves the junkets more than i do i'm the new kid on the blog i'm still you know just battling out in the suburbs trying to get by it fuck that trying to push the money monkey yeah oh no it's disappointing like did you just get the day off? Oh, no, I was at the Star, also covering the Super Bowl. So we were chatting to basically pissed people in the morning at the casino, which is actually a really fun morning. Yeah, well, you're telling yourself that.

That's cool. Going to the Cass is better than going to the Super Bowl. Sure, all right. You're a fucking company man. Yeah, here's the truth of that, though. So Eddie did her live crosses in the build-up to Super Bowl on the actual ground, like in the stadium. As soon as her last cross finished, which was about maybe an hour or so before the game,

they took her not only off the field, out of the stadium. So she wasn't even in the stadium for the Super Bowl. The next morning, her live crosses were in a car park, which was three streets away from the stadium. So it wasn't as glitzy and glamorous as you might think. No, you're right. I'm really bitter about it. How many years do you give yourself before you're the guy at the Super Bowl?

Before you're hosting Dancing With The Stars. I don't know. I've signed a two-year contract, but I'm enjoying it, so I think we'll go for a while. I like that when you say two-year contract, but I'm enjoying it, so I think we'll go for a while. I like that when you say two-year contract because that's like letting everyone know when the contract ends. Yeah. Free agent.

And I'm managed by Profile Talent Management. No, I'm very happy there. How much do they pay you? Before or after management, take a fee. Oh, here we go. Have you talked about this before? Have you had ideas pitched to you for whether ideas, segments, either travelling?

Make it 30 degrees tomorrow. Like activity, like places to go. Someone would have done that. Someone surely would have gone, I'm getting married tomorrow. Can you have a word with the big man? They have one about, and this might actually happen, where they just want to dump me somewhere in the middle of Australia and I've got, I think it's a week or two weeks to find my way back with no money.

Which just sounds like a budgetary decision. Is this being filmed or is this? It's on my mobile phone. It's just on Snapchat actually. That'd be great. Do you reckon? No. I would watch that. Like if you go insane halfway through the week, that'd be great. So reckon? No I would watch that

Like if you go insane Halfway through the week That'd be great So this isn't a show This is just like We get updates on where you are Just every day When you're doing the weather

Yeah Yeah exactly I do like it So I'd still do the weather out there But you know It's like oh okay So you're reenacting The murder of Peter Falcone

But you're giving weather updates In the middle of it So that's good It's gotta be 24 degrees and I'm drinking my own urine yes I was about to

make the exact same yeah 27 feels like 26 and feels like this Land Rover's about to pull over and shiv me in the neck spotted

talking to a lizard in the middle of the desert spotted Sam Mack in a shallow grave I made a tent out of this kangaroo carcass That I found on the other side of the road You have to do that

It'd be fucking amazing I'm not going to lie Part of it does appeal to me I like the idea of just taking risks And just trying things with it Because even if it fails dismally It will be morbidly entertaining For people like Tom

I think you should try and shadow the today weather Like every cross should be from the today weather. That's good. Well, Stevie Jacobs isn't doing it anymore. So did I psych him out? Yes. But it's hard to do because we don't know where they're going to be. Like there's only so many cheese festivals around the country.

It's hard to know which one on which date they'll be at. Look at this trash talk. This is weather trash. Love it. We would never touch the cheese festival. I'm down at the casino talking a piss country

at six in the morning. Yeah. Or counting dominoes in West Lytle. You need a mole on the inside. That's what you need. You need to buy someone out.

I like that idea. You rock up to where the Channel 9 or the Today Show people are doing the weather and you outbid them. They say 26 and 5 and you go, 27 and 5. If you want to come to where the higher weather is, stick with sunrise. You've got to do this.

If not for your work, then do it for us. But what about, we'll get this up and running. But you've got then, what, two guys, like a producer and a cameraman assigned to you. Yeah. They're also stuck in the shit with you. Yeah. So there's three of you just walking around the desert looking for civilization. That's genuinely the plan.

And I think they're talking maybe a week. So, yeah, stay tuned. In a car or in a... I don't know. They haven't gone into like, you know, the logistics of it all. I love the detail in the way that you pitched it off. They drop me, which just makes it sound like helicopters just randomly flying over the middle of the country and may just shove you out.

Yeah. Sam Mack looks for Lasseter's Reef for a week. That would be fucking awesome. Mysterious reef of gold. My dad talks about it all the time. Really? Lasseter's Reef. You've heard of that?

No. Isn't Lasseter's the place in Neighbours? Yes. Yeah. Yes. No tie-in. That's not that. On my first day on the job on Sunrise Weather,

they blindfolded me because I'm a serious meteorologist. Took you into a dungeon and spanked you with a big paddle. Yeah, they took the blindfold off and I bungee jumped on the first day. That was literally the first thing I did as part of this job. And just in terms of a comparison, Edwina, on her first day, I checked the archives, was sent to a cotton farm to interview people about cotton. Where's the equality in the workplace?

Get that on Mamma Mia or Daddy Mia. You're never getting to the Super Bowl. If that's the difference, then you've got a long way to go You've got a good six years before you're getting sent over there How do you rise as a weatherman? Like, I mean, you don't There's no higher gig than what you've got already Is there?

Do you ever get a bit of feedback from actual meteorologists? Like bitchy comments? Do you get complaints? Not to my face But I imagine that's a thing But look, I'm very honest about what I do I know a bit about weather you know meteorologists like bitchy bitchy comments um not to my face but uh i imagine that's a thing uh but look i'm very honest about what i do like i know a bit about weather and i'll definitely give you the weather in terms of you know do you need to wear shorts to your comedy gig tonight like i'll give you that basic information absolutely not i'm a weatherman

but but it's really just you know you've seen the segments it's a short like this is the basics what you need to know today for weather unless there's a a weather event, in which case we'll go to. But it's mainly just a bit of fun. It's just out meeting people, you know, covering things around the country. I'll tell you what else you've psyched out is Triple J Breakfast. I did an interview there. They've dumped the weather. I used to love doing the weather every morning.

We'd have the news headlines. My scouts include Stevie Jacobs. Was it Matt and Alex or is it the new Liam? I think even last year, Matt and Alex were not doing the weather. Wow. So you listen to the radio, there's no weather on it at all? There are the news headlines and we used to have a funny chat and then we'd play a funny song under the weather based on a news story. Oh, that's right.

Like Australiana or something. Yeah. So who's my next target? Tim Bailey, do you think? Oh, is he still going? Yeah. NASA. What about this?

Oh, yeah. What about this? For trivia, how old do you think Tim Bailey is Is he known in Melbourne Yeah he used I don't know who that is The Daily Bailey

He's a weather reporter He used to be on Totally Wild You'd recognise him If you'd seen him He used to be Yeah he Ages ago He used to be the weather man

I think on Good Morning Australia Yeah Kerry Ann Kennelly Well I think we found The subject of our spot No but I think He's still big in Sydney, though. He is, yeah, and he's a lovely guy.

But how old do you think? You know who he is. How old do you think? I would say 52. 62. Oh, wow. Incredible. And he's absolutely powering on.

So I agree. Let's choose the Daily Bailey as our spotter. What sort of a scenario do we want to see him in? Fucking a child. I don't know. I'm sorry. What about aggro? 50 people going spotted.

This guy fucking a child. And then the paper going, why didn't any of you report this? Yeah, it's like you've hit the wrong number. It's triple zero. Not the fucking confidential one. That'd be great. People will see a crime and just call the spot. I saw three men

rush a 7-11 and they're running away I think they shot somebody it's really fucked up I like gossip column I just saw OJ stab his wife in Brentwood and then the people who run spotted have to investigate the crime as well backyard detectives.

CSI spotted. That's amazing. Yeah, I reckon he should be our guy. Yeah, that's good. But isn't he still famous in Sydney though? But he'll get in. Yeah, he's famous enough to be in there. But I don't think he's in there that regularly.

I reckon aggro. What about aggro? What? Aggro. Jamie Dunn. No, not aggro. Oh, aggro, the character. Actual aggro. What about aggro? Jamie Dunn. No, not aggro. Oh, aggro, the character. Spotted in a suitcase,

aggro. Spotted aggro at the Royal Ballet, something like that. Talking to Ozzy the Austrian. That would be down at the Puppet Club. That would be good. What about someone from Hey Hey? Someone from Hey Hey would be good to get. John Blackman, these days, Uber driver. John Blackman. These days Uber driver.

Casey Donovan as well. Uber driver. Spotted in the jungle. Yes, Spotted. That's an easy one. I'm a celebrity. Get me in here. My dad came up with the concept.

Whatever. Calling up Spotted. I've seen him. Seen him on me fucking telly. He's down there. He's fucking doing this. I think Agro's a good one to put in a funny location. They're not running that, mate.

You can't call up Spotted and say, I saw a puppet out in the wild. Why not? Put this to print. As if Confidential and the paper are going, no, this is a serious publication. We're only talking about serious people we saw down the shops. So where would you say you've seen Agro?

Agro, well, what's the opposite of a location you would expect to see Agro at? Agro. Anywhere. Agro at a Rub and Tub. Agro at Sexpo. Agro at Sexpo. There you go.

With Russell Gilbert, the face of Sexpo. Yes, yes. The world's greatest and best comedian. World's best comedian in the world. Thank you. My mistake. What about Frankie J. Holden? Yeah.

Just asking in general, what do you guys think of him? All right. I liked your hey-hey suggestion because I think hey-hey, you know, something that everyone knows, plays nationally. You've got quite a few in the ensemble. So Blackman, definitely an option. Darryl Summers. You never see Darryl Summers anyway. Darryl's been a bit quiet. So he got quite a few in the ensemble. So Blackman, definitely an option. Darryl Summers. You never see Darryl Summers anyway, so he would be a better one.

And he's an instantly recognisable name. But what scenario would we have Darryl Summers in? Tom? I was thinking of the Jackson Jive at a Black Lives Matter protest. I think that would be good. Spotted. The Jackson Jive at the Change the Date rally on January 26th. They're all doctors.

It's fine. Spotted Jackson Jive replacing Tom Ballard in the next season of First Class. And the guy who looks white, he's Indian, so it's fine. It's not racist. I always wanted to get some people together and do a live gig as the Jackson Jive. Like I thought it would be funny to be on a line-up show and have the MC go, look, you know, you may have seen these guys

many, many years ago. The world wasn't ready for them, but they're back, they've gotten together and here they are and just learn the routine and just do it. But you know, of course... In blackface? Yes. Okay. The Jackson Jive were a bad act on the reboot of Red Faces

on Hey, I'm Saturday that a very small percentage of the population understand what that is. Yes. And you're going to bring it out. You're going to bring them out on stage where 95% of the people are not going to know the joke and just go, why are there people blacked up on stage? Yeah, but Harry Connick Jr. will be outraged when you do that, Tom.

Well, that's the best thing about that story is that they'd actually been on the show like 20 years before without incident. They'd done Red Faces already. It's a different time back then, man. Gotta get them back in. Speaking of the old racism and my good friend Ray Martin, coming to SBS is they're doing this big feature on racism

and all these different shows based around whether or not Australia is racist. And there's a show called Is Australia Racist? which is one of those moral dilemma shows where they have hidden cameras and they have a planted actor turn to someone of colour and be like, did you come here on a boat? And then you watch and see how people react

around it. A racism prank show. Yeah, pretty much. That's unbelievable. And there's one where it's like, you know, there's a chained up bike and a white guy comes and cuts the bike chain and runs away. No one says anything. And then an Aboriginal guy does the same thing and the police come and fucking come in and like get him on the ground

and people go nuts like that. Australia's most racist home videos, yes. And I'm just terrified of like being in one of those shows and being like caught and doing the wrong thing. Yeah. Because I've seen dodgy shit happen and go like, oh, I've got to trans. You know what I mean?

But don't you have to, like we've talked about this before, don't you have to sign off on whatever you're in? Why would anyone sign off on anything that tars them with any form of brush like that? I guess they can just blur the faces and then still run it. I think that's a thing you can do, yeah. And there's still people who just want to be on TV like me

no there's like border security shows like that why would they say yes to it but they do they still do that's a great point

I always wonder I always see the people coming in and they're closing up on them sweating and going what's this bloody drug filled bastard doing

see after the break and then you go after the break and you go hang on why did he sign off on anything like if he's got drugs or if he, hang on, why did he sign off on anything? Like if he's got drugs or if he doesn't have drugs,

why would anyone sign off on that? Maybe they con them and they go, well, if you just sign this release, we'll be a bit lenient on the sentence. Really? Maybe you're in cahoots with the cops. Do Channel 7 have that much leeway with the police force? I'm sure they tell them that they do,

whether they do or not. And even if they haven't seen the show like when they tell you it's called border security you know you're happy to sign your release form to be on that while you're sweating at an airport like what he thinks is going to paint him in a positive light

well yeah you're yeah no you're right because you're actually talking to people who are making insane decisions they're bringing beehives up their ass and they're coming in and they're like oh yeah do you want to sign off on this and it's like well that would be the most sensible thing

I've done today so why not I say it all the time anytime you see a second pause where Carl Chandler has to pick an item in a location

or an activity in a location it's always good and we've seen some masterful work of it so far in this last one that's probably

the best spotted of the day actually do you speaking of speaking of beehives up the arse ill advised prank shows do you care to retell the thing about The one you saw on the boat or

Okay sure Well look this is With an answer you saw this a year ago And it should not be screened anymore In public it's extremely dated That's the reason of the telling of the story That's why it's funny It's so inappropriate and so weird and backwards and whatever.

Believe it or not, I was in Thailand a year or so ago. Quick little plug for the live show coming up. But you'll hear all about that. Get on the social media. Spotted Carl in Thailand. No, Spotted Carl not in Thailand. Hold the presses. Spotted Carl at Possum Thai. Yeah presses. Spotted Cow at Possum Thai.

Yeah. So, someone texted me about Possum Thai today. Oh, yeah? They said, I'm at Possum Thai and they're playing the weird compilation album. I'm like, I'm not that au fait with them to know which ones are the weird albums they play. But anyway, all right. So, I was over there. I went to Koh Phangan, which is a quick ferry ride, a 30-minute ferry ride

from Copenhagen to Koh Samui. And I think if you're overseas, you'll know this. When you're on a short flight and it's sort of like a tourist beacon, they tend to play something that doesn't need any sound. Because you're going to have a lot of nationalities on that boat or on the plane or whatever. They'll have a video that's like, quite often I'll cop a bit of Mr. Bean

on a short flight. I've copped that a couple of times with my parents and my mum's given me a bit of, ah, classic Bean. Check him out. Where's he going to sit in the car? It's full of stuff. Yeah, that car needs an extra wheel. What's he doing now?

Can't behave like that in church. Yeah, all that stuff. He's lost his watch in the turkey. Yeah, all that stuff. So anyway, I was on the ferry and they played a Just for Last video, which is like not the stand-up, but they'll have pranks and sketches and whatever it is. And it's like, what is it, French-Canadian, I think?

So they do it deliberately. There's no English in it. It was on Channel 9 in the 90s. This show was big in the 90s. Right, right. Just a date when this show would have been made. I hope so. I don't know when it was filmed because it didn't look like it was

that old it looked reasonably recent and so this this was their prank that I watched along with a boat

full of tourists this was the prank so a guy walks up to another guy like the guy's walking down the

street this random this guy dressed as like a construction worker or a cop or something like that some sort of uniform

comes up to him and clearly indicates sort of going, can you just hold this sign for a minute? And the guy, the guy's, you know, holding this stop sign that you can see, you can see the back of the sign. He just goes, can you, he intimates, can you just point it at that traffic for a second?

So the guy goes, okay, holds the sign. You see the guy from the back holding this sign. And then you start to hear a bit of beeping and a bit of people yelling out and the guy's going, oh, I don't even know what's going on. And you're hearing heaps of beeping going, ah, whatever. And then we cut to the front of the stop sign. It does not say stop on the front of the stop sign. It says, I am gay.

So there's just people beeping and waving at this guy. And this guy's just going, oh, yeah, oh, yeah. And then the punchline of the whole sketch, right, the punchline, the big payoff on this sketch is a guy pulls up to him and holds out a sign, another stop sign, but it says, me too. And then he does, as you would know, Tom, the gay wave. Yes. I feel you.

Yes. And so then the guy goes, what? And then looks at his own sign and goes, oh, I can't believe I'm holding it up. Because, again, as you know, imagine being gay. Imagine being gay. I assume he then kills himself. It all is right with the world. It's also like.

Sacre bleu. It says a lot about the production company that they think this is comedy. But also the fact that the sign just says that and people are honking and hollering. They've never seen such a thing. What does it say about the city that this takes place in? Look, I don't want to put people off coming to Koh Samui. How was it testing on the boat? Like, was it...

Good question. Good question. There wasn't... Well, you know what? I can only say... You were obviously pissing yourself off. Yeah, well, there was a lot of digs into my... You're honking your horn.

Yes. That's doing a wave to the other passengers, yeah. There was a lot of digs into my mum's ribs going, do you get that? Do you get that? Is this better or worse than Mr Bean? Why has Bean become a real homophobe all of a sudden? But yeah, fuck, it's so bizarre that they are letting that,

I mean bizarre enough that they're playing that 10, 20 years ago or whatever, but it felt like a lot more modern than 10, 20 years ago. It felt like a recent thing. Was it in widescreen? Was it in HD? No. That's how you, that's the, so it's four byreen? Was it in HD? So it's 4x3? No.

I don't know. To be honest, the dimensions of the TV weren't taking my full attention at that point. I was literally too busy taking photos of it. I've got like 10 photos of my phone. You do regularly send me over chat a screenshot

of a guy holding a sign that says, I am gay. We got to put it up on the Facebook this week. Do we? Yeah, I reckon we do. I'm getting a real Jackson Jive vibe going. It's so misguided. I love it.

I just want people to know we're laughing at the right part of it. Yes, yes. We were talking just then about Thailand and this plan of Sam, as we were telling you before, taking the podcast over to Thailand. What a great plan. And for someone who runs the weather, you know, you're always doing these kooky stunts and whatever. I've never heard of anyone doing this, like a radio show,

especially a podcast. But I think this is going to be really – I mean, look, we'll give you the dates. Why not Koh Samui Week on Sunrise Breakfast? You can come over. Just getting the suits across the line and I'm on board. Exactly. Well, this is what I – because you were – I hope you don't mind me relaying this,

but you were talking to us before the episode started about the kind of sponsors that come on board for the weather. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's a part of the gig. It's commercial TV. It's during TV shows. There's no secret. Yes, yes. Well, this is what we're trying to do. So we came up with a way of branding this whole trip. So it's not

just us going to Thailand to do the podcast. Me and Carl are now festival directors. We're going over there to run the first ever Koh Samui International Podcast Festival. There's only one podcast on board. Good angle. That's alright. Don't need to tell them that immediately. Maybe we can wangle a couple of others, but we'll see.

So now we're looking for, to kind of offset this whole trip, we're looking for sponsors now. So this whole thing is going to be we're over there for like, what, a week? Us and guests and listeners kind of making content, just really living our dreams and just going for it. I guess now you've got to look at how

committed to a sponsor, what are they going to get? What's their ROI? What's their return on investment? Are you guys willing to wear merchandise? Are you willing to stay presented by? Are you willing to trial the product within the podcast? It's just what you guys are comfortable doing.

Absolutely everything. We would do anything for anything. I mean, we've got a resort on board. We just need to get maybe a sponsor, maybe an airline, we've got a resort on board. We just need to get maybe a sponsor, maybe an airline sponsor or just a regular sponsor on board. But we are ready to synergise. We are ready to brand, integrate. We are ready to get tattoos.

We're ready for it all. We'll do whatever. So what do you reckon? Any thoughts of who we could chase? Or how to do things, yeah. Well, you've got to go with something that's kind of in line with your sort of similar level of, you know, service quality. So Jetstar is something to come to mind.

The emails are in there, don't worry. That ties in because, you know, I imagine they go to that location. Yep. Who else? What are you guys passionate about? Thailand. I've hit up, I literally have hit up the Thailand Tourism Board. I've hit up a certain beer company over there.

So, yeah, I feel like a lot of people are getting an email and seeing podcasts and going, junk. What you could do is find the two highest selling beers in Thailand and play them off against each other. Oh, good. So that's a good sales technique. So say, I mean, I don't know what the big bit is. Let's say Bintang versus Chang.

I don't know. But so you go to Bintang. Hey, Chang are pretty interested in blah, blah, blah, but we actually drink your products. We thought we'd check in to see if you guys are interested as well. Just, you know, ballpark. What sort of bunts are we talking? Yes.

And see where it goes from there. So suddenly... We're going to find out what type of bunts it is. Exclusive on this podcast we've never heard of. Yes, yeah, yeah. Oh, very good, yes. No, I don't think there's any... Actually, this podcast trip,

that's what I'm a Celebrity Get Me In Here is. Oh, yes. People are going, fuck it, I'll come do that. I'll come do a week of podcasts. You know what? We should have a little section from now on, I'm a Celebrity Get Me In Here. Can you credit my dad every time?

I will, yes, please. What's your dad's first name? Sam Maxenia. Sam Maxenia Sam Maxenia great wow that's very easy so we should have that segment every week to decide

because you know the loose plan is that we go over me and you are locked in I think that's fair to say we're locked in

I'm locked in how did you get that yeah so we're going to bring stop sign for me and I'll let you

know if I can make it we're going to bring three guests and I think we should be, like that should be our segment to decide. Yes. When people come on, they can pitch their, why they should be. And the qualification means they have to have appeared in Spotted

in the last one month. Oh, yeah, right. There's some guidelines, T's and C's. So we can get, so far, you and Larry Emder. So that'll be good. Tom, are you going to come and do any of that crazy sushi eating that you're known for? Yeah.

Is there sushi over there? I don't know. I don't know. Man, imagine if we got in the Koh Samui spotted. Oh, that's a good idea. That would be good. The Holy Grail. We should print that up.

We should get that happening. Yeah, start a little newsletter while we're there. And that's another little bit of news that I think we've decided on for the people. And I'm sorry, everyone, that we haven't officially gone, right, this is it. Here's the dates. Here's everything going on.

We're still talking to these people, whatever. I promise it will happen super, super soon. But we're going to get a special new T-shirt printed up for that, an official Koh Samui Podcast Festival T-shirt. Nice. If you're going to come along, it is heavily advised that you purchase one. Yeah. Like you'd get it the big day out

With all the names of the acts that were on On the back of it Exactly And I don't want to tell you how to do your merchandise But maybe they should be shorts Commemorative shorts This is good Let's see how the article

Because remember you're international now You're global Or just a t-shirt that says I am gay And on the back it says stop Do you get much shorts merch? There's not much shorts merch is there? Exactly, there's a gap in the market It's an opportunity

You get shorts and you just get dumb and dumb on each butt cheek Yes, that's great And club on the crotch No, little on the crotch Let's see what the reaction is to tomorrow's article in the Herald Sun, to this shorts gate. You know, maybe this will – maybe the people will – Well, look, the punters are allowed to wear them,

but when we're performing over there, you know, I must insist that we're wearing flares or something like that. But you could still be wearing the shorts underneath, so, like, you're still, you know, solidarity with the shorts. Sure. I didn't point this out at the time. I did a gig with you about a week and a half ago where you yourself wore shorts.

And I tell you what, I was so rattled. Did I wear shorts for you? You did. You definitely did. You weren't there when the gig was on. I've got a photo of you on stage from someone else. Fuck you. I came from indoor soccer.

But this is the thing. I'm pretty sure you changed from your indoor soccer shorts into a different pair of shorts to do the gig in. Are they indoor soccer shoes? These? No, they're not actually. They look like indoor soccer shoes. And another thing.

I am gay. That was, you know what? I'm going to say, I'm going to give myself a qualifier there. It is not officially a gig because there was no audience there. There was only comics there. There was no punters there. So I'm going to say Scott Free for Chando. He's thought of everything. I've got it. He's thought of absolutely

everything. I've done it again. That makes you cooler, doing a gig to no one. After coming from indoor soccer. It was quite a day. It's weird if strangers see your knees but your peers, I I mean that's a whole different kettle of fish that's like being

in the change rooms it's the same thing so what you're doing up there is locker room talk is that what you're saying yes exactly

exactly well that would explain a lot of what I said that day so yeah well I think we should just about wrap this up for another week

well I've got a date with the media so yeah we better wrap it up Sam and Tom thank you so much for joining us. Thank you, guys.

Thanks for coming to the hotel and having some fun. It was great. Hey, thanks for the beers, man. You're welcome. Tom, what have you got coming up? You are about to jet off all over the country.

I am all over the place. Yes, touring two shows. Problematic, the stand-up show which starts in Adelaide from the February 17th, which will be this Friday, I guess.

Yep, yep. You are right. Sorry. Just say the date. Okay, February 17th, which will be this Friday, I guess. Yep. Yep. You are right. Just say the date. Okay. February 17th. I'm doing two shows. Next Friday. Thank you. Depending on when this goes up. Sorry. We fucked it again. It's in tomorrow's Herald Sun. In February 17th,

it's also heading to Hobart, Brisbane, Melbourne and Sydney. And I'm also touring boundless plains to share in Adelaide February 17th it's also heading to Hobart Brisbane Melbourne and Sydney and I'm also touring Boundless Plains to share my hilarious refugee lecture which is doing

four shows in Adelaide two in Brisbane and two in Melbourne you don't have to say hilarious you said lecture we know it's going to be funny thank you Carl my friend

also if I could mention I'm doing a organising a charity gig during the Comedy Festival called Stand Up for Medi, a charity gig for the Human Rights Law Centre in solidarity with Medi Savari, who is a refugee comedian who's being held on Manus Island, and it's going to be the awesomest line-up in the world.

And, yeah, tickets for that are now on sale. Any word on what they're wearing? They are wearing... Oh, the comedians. I'll leave it up to them. Mentioned it's going to be an awesome line-up. Any word on what they're wearing at the gig? They are wearing – oh, the comedians. Yeah. I'll leave it up to them. You should be free to – Mention it's going to be an awesome line-up. Neither of us have been invited to before. Sam, what have you got?

Yep, sunrise, weekday mornings from 5.30. Probably going to be dropped somewhere in the middle of Australia soon. Oh, great. Hopefully, if all goes according to plan you know what we've got to do and I should have done this today but you know Tom Ballard here he's worn our shirt on the gala we've got to get you a shirt

just to pop up one morning on Sunday you'll wear a bit of a wardrobe gave up on me after two months oh great really yeah you'll wear whatever make sure you iron it and also on the 23rd of February at 3pm in Sydney, I'll be at IGA Oxford Street. Oh, wow. What's the weather going to be like?

24 and sunny. Oh, nice. So yeah, I'll be there for about half an hour. So if you want to come by. Takes you half an hour to buy cat food? Yeah, a couple of laps of the lane. Oh, yeah, nice, nice. Will you be signing packets of cat food?

No, probably no sign, but just a quick selfie. Right, right. With the branding Dine Cat Food in shot. It should be fun. That would be good. All right. Guys, let us know who you think we should try and get into Spotted, and we'll get working on that.

Yep. Yeah, we've got all our stuff on sale, all the live podcasts. Check the eBay auction might still be going, if I can change the timing on that. We've also got Adelaide, March the 4th, month of shows in April. Brisbane, March the 18th. Remember to turn up if you've bought tickets already.

We've got solo shows in the Melbourne Comedy Festival, which is Tommy Daslow Dinner for Two and Carl Chandler, World's Best Comedian in the World. I've never got it right yet yeah one of these days guys well you made comedy

yeah guys thanks so much for listening and we'll see you next time see ya mates