The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 337 - Live! Frank Woodley, Dave Thornton & Lehmo

Episode Date: March 21, 2017

No Dansu, Shane Bourne & Multiple Skippys. Recorded LIVE at the Heya Bar in Brisbane on Saturday, March 18, 2017.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the Little Dumb Dumb Club, the first of our live episodes from Brisbane. And this episode is proudly brought to you by Sam Simmons, who is performing at this year's Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Carl, what do you think about that? Big old Sammy giving us a bit of sweet bunts. His show's called A to Z? Mm-hmm. A to K. A to K.

Yep. Sorry, I promised a bit more than what's going to be delivered. Incomplete show this year. Incomplete. Yeah, a Sam Simmons show is always an absolute treat. Lots of fun stuff going on. Way different to anything else you're going to see at the Comedy Festival. So he is on Thursday, March the 30th till Sunday, April the 23rd at the Forum upstairs.

Tickets for that from comedy.com.au. What's he going to do this year? Is he going to stick some Sandboy up his nose and some Portela up his ass? Keep going. Is that what's going to happen this year? Keep going. That's a genuine question. Yeah, what other things, what other things,

what other items could he put on other areas of his body? He could… Do two more. All right. Shove a sunny boy up his dick hole. That's great. Two more. All right.

Shove a sunny boy up his dick hole. That's great. And he could also put some fruit tickles up his nose. That's good. That's good. Yeah. I'd like to see some Gravox. Oh, yeah.

Right in the ear cavity. Yeah. In his ear. You've got to get some fondly remembered brand names of yesteryear and then stick them in an orifice. And, you know, then you can ride around that. And voila, that's comedy. Yeah, Sam's shows are always, yeah, heaps of fun, like I said. I've seen heaps of his shows.

Yeah. Heaps and heaps. I used to see him twice in one year. Barry Award winner. Oh, he's won it all. Yeah, Perrier or whatever the hell it's called now, fucking bus stop, leaf tree, garden, comedy award. Is that what it's called?

I don't know. It changes brands like every year now. That's Edinburgh, right? Yeah, the best show at Edinburgh award. Yeah, the big, big, big award. The big dog. The big boy. Is that the biggest award you can win in comedy?

In live comedy? Ooh. I would say it is. In live comedy? In stand-up? In stand-up, yes. At festivals? Yeah.

Sure. So there you go. That's the biggest thing. That's the you go. That's the biggest thing. That's the big boy. That's the big guys. I mean, you know, look, I don't know who's judging that thing, but, you know, it's the big one. It's me.

I judge it. Oh, you do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. You notice how you don't really see me at all during August? Like, we kind of just end up ahead with episodes. We bank them up. It's because I've been going to Edinburgh every year and judging the comedy award over

there. Look, to be honest, I can't remember, you know, like seeing you and a calendar in the background with August in my head. I can't. It sounds a bit weird to me, but if you say so, I can't dispute it. Let me ask you this. Have you ever seen me and a Perrier award in the same room at the same time? No.

No, and you never will. I'm shit at comedy. Oh, that's good. Let's leave a little bit of distance between that quote and the ad for your solo show there. So go and see Melbourne Comedy Festival. Sam Simmons is on every night? Yeah, every night.

Well, except Mondays. Except Mondays. At the forum, comedy.com.au for tickets to those shows. Good get, that URL, comedy.com.au. I mean, his management, that's his management. That's, I mean, that's one of the, isn't that one of the best pieces of forward thinking you've ever seen? We need comedy.com.au.

Just two more Ys on the end. Yes. Yeah. That's not bad. That's very good. Well, no, we've talked, I swear we've talked about this on the show, about how we wanted to register riffing.com.au. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. So we can get comedy.com. Yeah. Great. Which is great, because you know what? MrRiffing.com.au Oh yeah yeah yeah So we can get Comedy.com Yep Great Which is great Because you know what Unlike you know When my website went missing

CarlTandler.com And someone just pinched it If someone gets comedy With three Y's We can just get four Y's Yes exactly Or five Y's Exactly

Yeah So you're saying We just never renew the license We let it expire And then we're just Constantly buying a new domain Well we just get the cheapest one Because you know what

People have been alerting me lately Because there was that whole drama Of CarlTaylor.com. I had it. I let it lapse. They started selling fake Air Jordans on it. Yes, yes. And now it's fine. And then so I gave up.

I went, you know what? I'm going to get CarlTaylor.com.au, which I then went to get some – a listener bought it. I met the guy the other day. Oh, really? I met the guy who bought it. And he then was very funny with it and just put different links up every time. Didn't announce anything.

So every now and then you just check it and there's like a link to the Westgate Bridge on it. Great. There was a link to Dilruch's fan page on it. There was a link to just all heaps of stupid stuff like that. So finally he just gave me the site, which is very lovely. Very generous of him.

Yeah, very nice. And so then, but now, finally Carl Chandler.com is back up for him. Yeah, very nice. And so then, but now, finally, Carl Chandler.com is back up for sale. Oh, really? Five grand. Five grand? Yeah.

Is this just the guy that has it making you an offer? No, no, no. Or is it just lapsed? It's just sort of lapsed. Whoever the guy is that, you know, whoever the company is that sort of, you know, jump on these names or whatever. Right. They've just gone, oh, you know what?

There might be a bit of interest in this. You know what this is? You've done this to yourself because you've talked about the fake Air Jordan so much on the show that that must get a lot of traffic and they're like, this is hot property. You've actually made a rod for your own back here. But that's fine. I don't want that. I've got the

.com.au. It's fine. You're really putting a roof on your dreams. You never want to go international. Not Mr. Worldwide over here. Do you think I'm going to miss out on a Hollywood casting opportunity because I looked at my website and gone, well, that's a bit localised. This tells us that he is not prepared to leave the country for work. Oh, well, I guess we can't cast him in the reboot of Wolverine as the lead.

I mean, imagine having an Australian actor in that. All right. Well, what was this an ad for? Oh, yeah, Sam. Comedy.com.au. So we are now heading into our month of shows in April at the European Beer Cafe in Melbourne. Every Sunday, 3 p.m. on April 2nd, the 9th, the 16th, the 23rd. It's selling extremely well.

There are limited tickets available. It is going to be packed in there. And, of course, this is the best run of shows that we do for the year. In my humble opinion, we really go all out for the guests. We get the biggest names going around. And they're very happy to do it because they know they're massive shows. And there's so much fun. You guys, over the years, been like the best audiences to perform to

and so now it's very easy to book guests because people have either done it before or they've heard about it. Every now and then like an international will come in and be like, oh, I've heard this is grub, this is like the thing to do, it's really cool. And that's all because of you guys coming out and packing out the shows and being awesome on a Sunday afternoon. Especially for a Sunday afternoon as well. It's like three o'clock and you guys get right into it.

So, man, that's – You're done with church. You get a little food on the way in. Then off you go. It is – man, it's so fun. You guys get in, get half cut. We have a few beers. We just be complete fuckers.

And then everyone's written off by five o'clock. It's – Perfect. Yeah, it's great. And then you're in bed early before work on Monday morning. It's perfect. You're not because you know what? We've got shows.

We've got solo shows straight after that on Sundays. My show, Carl Chandler, World's Best Comedian in the World, on Sundays is straight after the live podcast, very conveniently, at 4.15 and then straight after that is Tommy Daslow's show. Bringing up the rare, like the little dog boy that I am. Dinner for two, bringing up the trilogy, The Three Colours Dumb Cunt. So you can do the whole trifecta in one day. It's very easy.

People want to just do the whole dum-dum experience in one day. It's very easy to do that. So you've got the podcast, International Man of Mystery. You've got Carl Chandler, World's Best Comedian in the World, The Spy Who Shagged Me. Then you've got Tommy Dasolo, Dinner for Two, aka Goldmember. The third and best one

in the franchise. Is it? No. No, right. I was going to say. You know what? That was the joke. Right.

No, because I think they're all shit. Oh, okay. They're all terrible movies. Okay, this is a discussion for another time. Okay, alright. Yeah, they're bad.

I watched the first one and I thought this is going to be really good. I watched it. It was terrible. Is this at the time? Yes. Wow, that would have been a huge take back in the day.

Maybe. At the time. I was excited for it because you see all the marketing. You go, this is going to be good. It was terrible. It gets to the Spice Shaggy. And I go, oh, this is going to be really good. And I start watching it and go, I fucking hated the first one.

I forgot about that. Well, that's on you. That second one, that's on you. Totally. But it's on both of us because the movie is shit as well. And then Goldmember, I mean, yeah, Goldmember, that looks fucking appalling. Goldmember, the wheels have well and truly fallen off by that point.

I cannot imagine how bad that movie is if I thought the first two were shit. You know what's funny? Beyonce's in that. Yeah. Isn't that funny now that Beyonce's in that movie? Yeah. That should have really wrecked her career. Okay.

So we've got the solo shows, the live podcast, we've also got the Roast of Dilwook Jai Singer Good Friday Night, is that what you call it? Yes. Good Friday. April the 14th at the European Beer Cafe. Tickets will probably almost be sold out by the time people are hearing this, I would say.

And of course, just harking back to our solo shows, it's not just Sundays, it's every, it's April 2nd, that's the Sunday, and then we have a week off, and then we're back on the 9th, straight after the podcast, and then we just keep going until April 23. So we have one little island of shows on the 2nd, and then we just go two weeks straight.

Yeah, that's weird timing to do one and then have a week off. It's not going to be good. Not good for momentum. And also not good to do our first shows right after doing the podcast. It's, well, mine's going to be fucking loose. I know that. Something I'm very much not looking forward to. Right.

I'm looking forward to it. I'm going to ride the wave. It's going to be good. Yeah. I think I'm going to get dunked by the wave. My board's going to snap in half. Crack my head on a rock. A shark's going to punch you.

Okay. Yeah. So all that stuff, littumbDumbClub.com That's all Melbourne style Yeah You're all done there Yep The drunk cast

On the final night Of the festival Priority given To the season pass holders Everyone else With a ticket to the shows Line up Entry is free

But line up nice and early If you want to get in We're going to do our best To accommodate everyone But first in best dressed Should we say this With the drunk cast You know we did this last year

But we put a bit of a bucket Out the front To pay for beers And stuff like that Which is very nice Of you guys too did this last year but we put a bit of a bucket out the front and to pay for beers and stuff like that which is very nice of you guys to and especially because we chart we man we spent a lot of money on costumes last year as well that was dumb yes but you know we'll be cooking up something special it was fun yeah we've we've got well we've got one idea already that you pitched to me the other day that is a callback to uh something that we mentioned a few weeks ago that we haven't really touched on again

but a few people have alerted us to a a certain clip that they found online that i think we're gonna yeah something something to do with that is that vague enough i don't even know what you're talking about so sure uh but i'm sure you'll bring it up with me before the do you really know what i'm talking about april the 23rd i don't actually oh okay well it's fine i'll tell you i don't need to know right just hold this sign for me and then I'll tell you what I'm talking about. Hold what sign? Hold this sign that I've got. Oh, okay.

This big sign that I'm. Oh, that's right. Fuck. I forgot about that. All right. Now I'm on board. All right. Now I get it.

That's not all you are. Anyway, so that's Melbourne. Beep, beep. Exciting. Me too. So, Koh Samui. You've done it. Yes. You've done it. You've finally. You've done it again. So, Koh Samui. You've done it. You've done it.

You've finally done it again. You've finally got us. You've done it again. Booked yourself tickets to Koh Samui. The best done it again. So we are going to the Koh Samui Podcast Festival. We are. We're not just going.

We're organizing the whole thing. We're running it. Well, I think it's the first time any festival organisers have requested us, really. I think the first time anyone's had any sort of love for us. Not only are we festival directors, but we make up 100% of the board. We're also kind of admin staff.

We're answering the phones in there. Sounds like a lot of festivals. We're artist liaison. Yeah, we're artists in residence. Artists in residence. We're getting a. Yeah. We're artists in residence. Artists in residence. We're getting a residency over there. Yeah. I mean, we're doing all of it.

We're the headliners. We're the headliners. Yeah. We're the support. Yeah. We're, yeah. Hey, there's still stuff TBC. Mm-hmm.

Is there? I'll probably end up giving some people a lift to the airport, so we're drivers in a way. Oh, will you? Yeah, maybe. I might leave my car. I'm a big fan of leaving my car at the airport. I'm a big fan of the long-term parking.

I thought you meant you were driving them to the Costa Mili airport. Oh, no, fuck that. Yeah. Who knows? Maybe I'll hire a motorbike and dink people there. Yeah, hire a little scooter. Yeah. Hire a little tuk-tuk.

Yeah. Yeah. But, man, that would be a highly sought-after spot. Yeah. Fuck, do you think listeners are going to fly on the same plane as us? I don't know. We've put the details up. Has anyone confirmed that they've done it?

For the people that signed up for the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival email list, of which there are several hundred of you, we did send out the details of what flight we are catching to Singapore and then to Koh Samui. So if you've got all the details, if you're on the email list, you can be on the same plane as us. Yeah. If you like, there's going to be us, there's going to be guests. We're going to be, as we mentioned last week, we are using GoFundMe, our little GoFundMe site,

and the process of several different things that we're doing to fly not only guests over, but to try and make a little sort of documentary as well, some bonus little content. So if you're on the same flight- If you're booking on the same flight, let us know what seat number you're in so I can book myself on the opposite end of the plane because I do not wish to be bothered on a long flight. But there's a heap of us. It won't be that bad if there's a heap of us.

We're going to get kicked off this thing. No, it's all right. I don't care. You heap of us. It won't be that bad if there's a heap of us. We're going to get kicked off this thing. Nah, it's alright. I don't care. It'll be fine. I don't care. You don't care if you get kicked off your flight

to Thailand. That won't happen. That won't happen. It'll be fine. We're leaving in the morning. I don't know. Some people are saying they want to drink

the whole flight. But you know what? I think I'm not going to drink during the flight. What about you? I am a big fan. But it's a day flight as well. So it's kind of a night flight. I i love a i love a seven like an evening flight have a couple of beers you just have to take off that kind of you know settles you down a little

bit and then you try and sleep but yeah i mean there's no there's kind of no point to doing that but who knows i i am more excited by the thing of you know we'll have fun on the flight there'll be a bunch of us and then we we get i wonder what movies wonder what movies we're going to get. We get to Singapore. I don't reckon we're going to get many movies given who we're flying with. Yeah, good point. So I think we'll be bringing our own movies or acting out our own movies I think. I might try and join the Mile High Club. What do you think of that?

Well, you want to get seated to closer to some listeners then. That'd be some good content. They're your best chance. So, yeah, let us know either what seat or if you are keen to join the Mile High Club. With me. Let's have an orgy in there. The Mile High Little Dum Dum Club.

So, yeah, get onto that. Let us know if you're on the same flight as us. That's great. The Mile High Little Dum Dum Club. We record a podcast in the airplane toilets. As you're rooting. Sure. Well, podcast In the airplane toilets As you're rooting Okay sure Well

You've already been Sure As we're rooting If someone I said Mile High You said Mile High Club Well that's what that means Yeah I know

But I'm saying The Mile High Little Dum Dum Club Yeah So that's not sex That's us doing a podcast In the air But I still think That that's sex

Because you've got Mile High Club Okay That's the connotation If you insist You can jerk me off Are you happy now Well yes I am.

So, and that will be officially the happy ending to our documentary. Oh, nice. So, and of course, if you are coming to the Koh Samui Podcast Festival, there is only one accommodation, one resort to stay with, and that is the Ozo Chuang Samui Resort. So, go to their website. Do not go to any middleman website because the password will not work. Because if you use the password podcast

you will get an amazing discount. And it's not just bullshit shilling. It is genuinely impressive discounting to which all the listeners that have bought rooms have come back and gone, fuck, we just upgraded to awesome rooms because they were that cheap. Fuck it. Why

stay in the smaller rooms? And the official direct URL of the Ozo Chowang Samui Resort is carlchandler.com Is that still the case? That would be good. Why don't you do that? That would help us out a lot. Because it is kind of a clunky URL to read out for the actual resort. Just redirect, just do us a favour and redirect yours for the month. I don't

know how to do that. You've got no shows coming up. You've got nothing important to plug in. I don't know how to do that. You've got no shows coming up. You've got nothing important to plug in. I don't know how to do that. So if you go to our website, littledumbdumb.com, we have got the links to – littledumbdumbclub.com. Yes. What did I say?

You said littledumbdumb.com. Oh, okay. All right. Well, fucking I don't know. So it's all close enough. That redirects you, I'm sure. So it's like my dad reading out a URL. So, you know, it's like 0438 whatever.

Just all the other numbers. Get close enough. It'll work. Yeah, the switchboard operator will put you through. Easy. So go to our URL, go to our website, and it's got the links to not only all the ticket details, everything like that,

but it's got the direct link to the Ozone, the Ozone Samui Choeing Resort. So you can go directly there, use the password. And it's also got the link to our GoFundMe, our little fundraiser to make sure we get all the guests over there and make sure we can fund someone to film a little movie and all that sort of stuff. Chip in, $10 or more, and you are going to get heaps of sweet content,

extra content that we're making over there. Exactly. It's just like the Patreon for that month. If you chip in that month, we will give you all the content, all the excellent content. It will be well worth your while. We're all obviously very genuinely excited about it. People keep hitting us up to say, a lot of guys are hitting me up to say,

oh, I'm trying to convince my girlfriend to come over. There's a lot of that, yeah. So look, you know what? You can convince your girlfriend. You know what you can say? You're coming to see us at night. There's plenty lot of that, yeah. So, look, you know what? You can convince your girlfriend. You know what you can say? You're coming to see us at night. There's plenty of stuff to do during the day. People have hit me up already to go,

well, I'm not really fussed about stalking you guys during the day. We're actually bringing work over. That's generous. Yeah. Well, they're bringing work over to do during the day. We should do up an official document for anyone trying to get their partner over the line.

Oh, yeah. We should do a document that's bullet points of everything that's going to be great about it, what's going to be great about it for you if you're not someone that's necessarily into the show. It's an official thing to help out with people getting these people over the line. Well, you know what I'm going to do?

For one thing, I'm going to definitely make a guide to restaurants on Samui. All my favourite restaurants and a map and all the reviews and all the best things to order and whatever. And then on top of that, we should maybe make suggestions for during the day what you can do. Oh, yeah. A little, you know, little safaris, little, you know, bits and pieces that you can go and do if you don't just want

to hang around by the pool. Of course, there's heaps of that sort of stuff. So, you know, it's not just – it's not 24-hour dum-dum. You can come and see us at night and fuck around with us and whatever, but then during the day there's – The days are yours, yeah. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Very generous of us.

Yeah, yeah. But of course, the Ozo, during the day there's... The days are yours, yeah. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Very generous of us. Yeah, yeah. But of course the Ozo, you know, there's a very good argument to be made. You can just hang out at the Ozo Chawang Samui Resort all day because it is fucking just about one of the... Well, for the price, it is fucking spellbinding. I mean, there are literally resorts on there you can pay $1,000, $2,000 a night and of course they're going to be great. But this is the best value i've seen right on the island i paid the

same sort of money and i've got some shit accommodation before yeah right this is fucking uh i can't remember what it's rated but what was your room number that's gonna be fun who gets to stay in the room that you've already stayed in well it's not it's i don't think it's been changed into the carl chandler room or anything like there's no it's not like planet hollywood where they've got like little bits and pieces on the wall or whatever. They don't have my T-shirt from the last time I, my fucking tank top from the last time I stayed there on the wall.

But maybe they should. Just try and convince them to do that. You know what I'm looking forward to? There's going to be a bit of signage. Surely there's going to be a bit of welcome. Little Dum Dum Club and fans. Yes. Nice. We better make sure that happens. There's going to be a bit of welcome. Little Dum Dum Club and fans. Yes. Nice.

We better make sure that happens. Yeah. Yeah. There's going to be a bit of signage. We need a guy at the airport waiting for us. That's what I want. Yeah. Oh, look.

Holding a sign. I will definitely be organising that. I've never had that. Someone with my name on a sign at the airport. I've had it. I've had people pick me up like for festivals and stuff. Yeah. But you're just meant to know who they are.

It's just some kid loitering around. Yeah. But you're just meant to know who they are. It's just some kid loitering around. Yeah. Who you have to go up and go, oh, are you the driver for the thing? And they're like, oh, yeah, this way. It's like, get the sign out. What if I can convince them to hold up dumb cunt? Oh, huge.

Yeah, just tell them it's something. If it's not their first language, maybe we can. Yeah, they might not know. Yeah. Although, to be honest, I think maybe the people who I've been dealing with, they're not locals. So I think they're going to see through that. But in that case, they'd get how funny it is.

Yeah. Well, I don't know if the nationality that they are, whether that really translates. Oh, that word's a bit different over there. Maybe. Maybe there might be a bit more sans-sotif. Oh, sans. Okay, so all of that information, littledumbdumbclub.com. We've also just put up the merchandise

The t-shirts The logo design of us on the elephant And the singlet that is based on a May or may not be Looks similar to a certain beer logo From maybe another country Who knows I don't know

Some people have started saying this I don't see it myself I think it's a big coincidence And you know what? I sat there for hours kind of working on that design, kind of like brainstorming it and workshopping it. It's kind of a little offensive to come to us and sort of say, hey, you've just – oh, that's like that.

Yeah. That's a massive discredit to my creativity. And really, who came up with it first, really? I mean, you know, I hadn't seen that before. Is that a new thing, the other design? Yeah, who knows? Yeah, maybe they ripped us off. Yeah.

Who knows? Yeah. Exactly, exactly. So get on littledumbdumbclub.com and check out the shirts, check out the singlets. They are going very quickly. Yes. Of course, that goes towards – that's a fundraiser as well,

towards the festival. It's like those kids at school that walked around with a cardboard box with all the Caramello koalas in them raising money for their fucking their brass band trip over to China or whatever it was

yeah fuck that'd be nice brass band see I went to Mirabarra 404 and then Mirabarra High no one ever went overseas oh right

yeah we had a bit we'd send our like our we were lucky to go to fucking Sovereign Hill so how many chocolate bars

did you have to sell to get to sovereign hill fuck what have we i don't think i ever raised i i don't think i ever raised money for anything yeah no i don't think i did anything like that that's that's work um so uh get on that get on the go fund me uh and of course or get on the patreon of which you get the rewards like uh bonus episodes uh bonus magazines and of course you know the sweetest plum which is uh once we do the Coastal Movie Podcast Festival, we'll have heaps and heaps of bonus content that we'll be sending out

to anyone who you know, is basically 10 bucks or over and that's the same with the GoFundMe. If you chuck in 10 bucks, you'll get all the content and of course, you get your name read out like every episode in a very loving tribute. Yes. A lot of respect given most weeks.

In memoriam for the money that's left your bank account. Ah, very good. Yeah, yeah. It's like the Oscars. So here we go. Thank you to the dearly departed money of August James. August James. Oh, I'm born in the month of August, so I like that a lot.

And your middle name's James. Yeah. Yes? No. Oh, okay. okay well that would have worked out perfectly you could have just gone with it

but fucking I don't know I like that though I like that as a name August do you yeah I just think of

Augustus Gloop oh yeah that's no good that's negative connotations that little German boy yeah fat little fuck who got killed didn't he

I don't know I presume I didn't watch the end I don't think any of them explicitly are killed but they just they kind of disappear and they're not seen from it

he was fat so you sort of he was morbidly obese stuck in a pipe yeah so it's not going to end well so sorry August

about that sorry Augustus Augustus Jimmy Augustus but interesting name I'd like to know how life's gone with that name

yeah what sort of shit you've copped I'd like to know what month he is born in I'm going to say if he's born in august his parents have really dropped the ball there it's if he is born in august or if he isn't because it's just like oh we'll just name you after the month you're born in that shows a real lack of creativity but if he's born in january then people are just gonna go well what the fuck does august mean like surely that surely that was

a thing yeah like why call what that's just confusing what if it's you know this would be weird if it's august was the month he was conceived oh we're gonna name you after the specific time period that we fucked in to create you so every time he ever hears his name it's like oh my dad's dick going into my mum like right now doing the role at school august, oh, triggered. Yeah. Brutal. Yes.

He just sees it in his mind's eye going in over and over again. This guy sounds like he's got some real problems. Well, one of us does. Yeah. Thanks, August. Thanks, August. Well, speaking of, here we go. Thank you to another guy who I'm very interested to know how your life has been with this name.

And again, like August, give us a shout out what you've copped over the years. Thank you to Stuart Kokonos. Stuart Kokonos? Yeah. Like Mykonos? No, like Kokonos. Cool, yeah.

Stewie Stewie Stewie Cockiness Has he got Bonnie Dinnerfest I reckon Surely he's got Spewett Cockiness I mean that's the obvious one Yeah, that's

I reckon he's That's maybe one of the most That's one of the most brutal ones we've had Yeah Like Irish Stewart Cockiness, you know Yeah That name, Stewart Is just rife Forus you know that name

Stuart is just rife for you know a lot of silly things Stewie big Stewie yeah big S

like big shit yeah yeah Stu Wart you know like big old wart on the end of your nose

Warts Warts do warts also Stu Cockanus is what I think he would have copped what do you think?

Wow, now that's mind-blowing stuff. That's a revelation. Yeah. Oh, man. Because I'd be more – it's not even a question of if he ever copped that. I think it's more a question of what age did it begin. Right. There would have been some bright spark at his school who's like,

hey, guess what I learned about last night yeah guess what dad showed me but not only that the whole thing of the dad sending the kid to school going well it's only matter of time i wonder what year it's going to be yeah yeah when when when when the kid comes home instead of going i heard that santa is uh you'd be bracing yourself more than that more than death more than like the birds and the bees. Yes. I guess that's going to kind of speed up the process of the birds and the bees, kind of lump them together. Yeah.

Yeah. Sometimes when a man loves a woman and then sometimes when he really loves the woman and they've been together a while and they've been loving each other a fair bit and they're a little bit bored with the way they've been loving each other. They give it a bit of. They sort of look for new avenues. A bit of Stuart Cockiness.

A little bit of you. My dear boy. A bit of Stewie, ifess. A little bit of you. My dear boy. A bit of Stewie, if you know what I mean. My father and his father before him. So, thanks, Stewie. Thanks, Stuart. Sorry, Stuart, we should say. Yeah, sorry, Stu.

He must have, I mean, he must have known this was coming. Yes, very much so. But again, like August, I'd like to know what's happened in your life and whether it's shaped you as a person. Yeah, definitely. Thank you too, Michael. Hunt. Thank you too.

Michael Corhonen. Corhonen, I swear this guy's been read out before. Really? I did a search and I don't think it had been Well okay maybe this is just a coincidence Because I swear there was a last name Where I very clunkily turned it into cornhole Oh right

And I just had the instinct to do that again And I was like wait a minute This sounds familiar Bit of cornhole deja vu Yeah exactly I mean look It could be I mean there's a lot of cornholing in my life

So it could be anything It might not have been just lot of cornholing in my life, so it could be anything. It might not have been just from the Patreon rate. It could have been from any facet. Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah. And it could have been this morning over breakfast. First it was cock anus, now it's the cornhole. Yeah.

And there's a real theme. Are you okay? There's a lot of dirty people that are subscribing to us. It's not our fault. This is like, are you reading out the Patreon list for Viz Comics? It's not our fault. This is like, are you reading out the Patreon list for Viz Comics? I'm just reading out the Twelfth Man transcript from the albums.

Yeah. A lot of Indians. My cock anus. Thanks, Michael. Thanks, Mike. Thank you too, Sean. Piggott. Piggott.

P-I-G-O-T-T. Yeah, a lot of... Have you tried to theme this No Because again Little piggy No A lot of people that have copped A lot of guys maybe

That have copped a bit of shit At school I reckon A lot of unfortunate Yeah A lot of poor little Cuckolded people That are hitting us up this month Piggott

Little piggy I mean I like that as a name It's just It sounds nice It's just unfortunate that Yeah It's got the connotation of a dirty little animal who rolls around in its own filth.

But hey, enough about the two people that host this podcast. Piggot. Yeah, I mean, they always say pigs are actually essentially clean animals. It's just, you know, it's not their fault. They're stuck in them. They're not the ones That are fucking Putting themselves In a little fenced off area

Full of shit Yes Yes They would probably prefer Not to do that Yeah But that's not their call But

And much like the same way This guy didn't choose His last name He's just been put In this little pen You know Exactly He's got a roll around in it

And And just like It's unfair Just like a pig He probably fucks pigs as well So Sean Piggott Thanks Sean

Thank you Sean Alright should we do one more Okay we've got time for one more One more I actually have had one come in That Oh you've had one Someone who's messaged me

Saying they really want to be read out Okay They're annoyed that Usually I do this Yeah no I know I just I never get to read them out. Right.

This person hit me up direct. I don't know why they didn't go through the website. They just emailed me directly. Because what I usually do is I usually double check the Patreon page that I've got here and I do a search just to make sure they've – so should I be double checking this first before you read it out or are you – Well, no, they're pretty – I don't know why this person would lie to me. Right.

I'm sure they definitely do contribute. Okay. That's weird because I could just do a search right now and it would take no time at all. Well, you can if you want, but I'm going to have to tell you the name anyway. Right, okay. All right, all right. So how do you want to do this?

Well, I mean, look, you just do it. I mean, we could have done this before the show. I'm not sure why you've done it in this order. I'm going to give this person the benefit of the doubt. Right. So I think I liked what you did. I don't like us doing this going forward. Okay.

But I'll allow you this one. Okay. So first name, again, this is kind of a weird nationality. Oh, I'm glad it's not just me that cops these ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. First name, Thing? Thing. Thing. With an F. F. Oh, Thing. Thing. Thing.

With an F. F. Oh, Thing. Thing. F-I-N-G. Yeah, Thing. First name Thing. Okay, that is weird.

Yeah. I mean, you know, cool, whatever. And this is a weird thing where the first name is longer than the surname. I always think that's a bit weird, you know. Hang on, that was the first name, wasn't it? Thing. Thing. First name.

Right, you just said... Oh, right. Thing first name, wasn't it? Thing. Thing. First name. Right. You just said this. Oh, right. Thing. Right. Okay. Okay. First name Thing. I'm just going to let you go.

Yeah. And the second name, I hope I'm pronouncing this right. It's just two letters. Ri. Ri. R-I. Right. Okay.

Ri. R-I. Maybe it's R-I. Right. Okay. But think if it was Y, it'd be R-Y. It's just R-I. So let's assume R-E.

You know what's funny? This is the exact same name as I was about to read out anyway. Did they hit you up as well? So, again, I liked what you were doing before with the last episode. Right. We did like schoolyard style. I quite liked it. Roll call.

Roll call. I liked that. Yeah. So do you want to – I mean last week we had Eddie Com. Yeah. And this week we've got Fing Re. Right. Now they could be from Koh Samui with a name like that.

Fing Re? Yeah. Fing Re. Could they? Could they? So if you were in a Koh Samui schoolhouse right now and there was a roll call and say you wanted to see if this guy was present. Yes, or girl.

It's 2017. Yes. There are girls this year. Or they. Yes. They could be non-binary. Right. They could be multiple.

They could be plural. Yes. You can't just assume everyone's singular these days. Exactly. Exactly. Some people could – some persons can be people. Yes. You can't just assume everyone's singular these days. Exactly. Exactly. Some people could – some persons can be people. Yes.

Sure. So do you want to do the honours? Should I do the honours? Because, again, I'm always responding to them like you. Okay. This is – we're doing a bit of a switcheroo here. Okay. So I'm in the schoolhouse. You're a teacher.

Mr. Chandler. Yes. You've come in. You've got – there's a little apple sitting on your desk waiting for you. What am I teaching? Comedy. Like all the best comedians who started teaching comedy. At the old Coastal Movie Primary School

number 404. And I've come in and gone a bit of a... So I'm saying thanks but I'm also doing a school roll call. You're just checking if they're even here, if they're even listening. Thank you to Ruffing. There.

Are you happy, Fing? You've hit up me, you've hit up Carl to try and get your name read out. Now you can leave us alone. You've finally got your shout out. And thank you to the continued patronage. I presume because I haven't gone back and checked whether Fing is actually giving us money or whether this is just some elaborate prank. Eddie from last week and Fing, what are their friends?

Yeah, I don't know. Well, again, we're always asking questions of the listeners, please. Let us know. Let us know how you went with that name, with that unusual name that you've got. All right. We'd better wrap this up. So, yeah, littledumbdumbclub.com. We've got the shows in April.

We've got our solo shows, The Roast of Dilrock, The Drunk Cust on the Last Night of the Festival, the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival at the Ozo Choang Samui Hotel. All these details, T-shirts and all that sort of stuff, littledumbdumbclub.com. Enjoy this week's episode live from Brisbane. Hey, mates! Welcome to the Little Dundum Club live in Brisbane. Thank you very much for joining us.

My name is Tommy Dastlo and standing next to me, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler! G'day, dickheads! What? I got tipped off. Someone printed out a bunch of notices and spread around the room. When something... What the fuck is happening? What is going on?

Someone did a little fucking anonymous takeover of the gig. Look, audience participation request at the top of the show. After Tommy says, hey, mates, welcome to the episode, and Carl says, g'day, dickhead, we yell out, hi, dumb cunt. Right. Well, about four people did it, so that fucking worked. Right, so they're way on... They even used the wrong logo, you dumb cunt.

Well, that's really kicked things off well, hasn't it? This has been great for chat. So, yeah, we are here in Brisbane. Always awesome to get up here and just... You know, my favourite thing about coming to Brisbane is getting up here and just really ripping into a bit of dance, too. That's what I love to do. Tommy.

So good to be back here. Tommy. Shut up. I'm just talking about how much I can't wait to just get stuck right into the dance-oo. This is embarrassing. All dance-oo, all evening. This is very embarrassing. If you want to see dance-oo, you have come to the right place.

Stop. For fuck's sake. What? The venue are about to kick us out. Why? They have specifically said no dancing. Oh, shit. You fucking idiot.

You know the first rule of hey-ya comedy is no dancing. Jesus Christ. I give you one thing to not do and you can't not do it. What was the game plan beyond just yelling out? What did you think was going to... Was it you guys that organised it, the hide dumb cunts thing? Right, and how did you think it was going to play out in your in your head well well congrats it's it's not a great sign when people in the audience have put more effort into the gig than the hosts have no well it's it's because you because you guys have got your own fucking ideas

on how to do things. We were like, fuck, how are we going to open the show? And then I walked out to check on something, come back and went, oh, three different idiots said different things to me, so I've got stuff now. No, but thank you to whoever, the person who gave me four donuts from the KC Bakery, because that's the initials of my name. And also, very much appreciated

the gift of hollandaise sauce. The brand that I like, the male hollandaise, which sounds dodgier than what it is. Dinner for one. With a tag on the top, thanks to the Patreon shout-out from C. Hollandaise. Thanks, C. Is there anyone here who's been dragged along for the first time,

who's not listened to the show? Have we got any of those? Any first-timers here? So you're going to be going, so they've given him donuts and hollandaise. What is this fucking show? That sounds like some dodgy lube for something not cool. Yeah. Right. What else? Was that it? No. Someone, as I walked in, like I've got

two gifts and then someone else just goes, how's your bum? Not great to see you in Brisbane. You should come up more often. How's your anal tear? Well, the people want to know. How is it? What's the answer? It's okay.

Yeah? Yeah. I think the Holland Ace will fix it up quite well. He's back. He's done it again. So we're a little... We got here last night and we went down to the powerhouse. I think we saw a couple of you guys

down there. We were in the company of eccentric Serbian billionaire Milan Krencevic. We both got fully Milan'd. It was a brutal evening. I was in line to get some drinks and I didn't know Milan was there yet and he comes up behind me at the bar and gives me his card and goes

get four beers for you and Carl. Put them on the card, get this white wine for Becky, get this for me, put this all on my card. And then this girl standing in front of me in the line turns around and goes, I've listened to enough of the podcast to know that this is not going to end well. This is going to end up like my arsehole.

And she was not wrong. You rat cunt. Starting to figure out what some of your war crimes were. By the way, I think there's a lot of people in the audience that don't know that that's Milan and it just looked like I was calling a random audience member a rat cunt for seemingly no reason. Wow, this is a bit much.

Pardon? Did you say where's your drink? It's in your hand Don't joke about it, don't tempt him Don't Cool, we're one minute in, nice This is what this podcast is going to be today, cool So we, last week we did

Oh no, two weeks ago we did two live shows Back to back in Adelaide That was a great time down there Thanks to people listening from Adelaide Who were at those shows We were hanging out in the bar afterwards And this guy was talking to me And he was like

Oh, so great to finally meet you Been a fan of the show for ages Such a massive fan of the podcast So great to see the live show today So good, such a big fan, I'm like oh great man I really appreciate it, he's like yeah um I was just saying to Tommy before and I'm like

I'm like alright he's you know whatever, he's nervous he's kind of, he's slipped up, I'll let this slide he then went on and did it four or five more times and I was like oh this guy does not get it well i think he does and then and then his mate comes along and goes mate i'm a huge fan as well i'm i'm a huge fan and you know i've always wanted to ask you this if i ever met you i i need to know you

know as you can see i myself and my hairline's receding and it's thinning and i was wearing a hat at the time he's like i've got ask you, can I have a look under the hat? Fucking brutal. And I'm like, okay. And he's like, oh, it's not that bad actually. He should have been like, oh, I should show Tommy this. It was very, very good stuff.

Well, Milan Krencević, a century Serbian billionaire and war crime proponent, he's got a friend of his here who recently has been dragged along to the show and she got played half an episode, just for a bit of context. And, look, I think this is a running meme of the show, but she did say, when she met me, she was like, oh, yeah, Carl, so you're half of it.

And who's the girl that you co-hosted with again? That is not dancing as far as I'm concerned. It still keeps going. I can't believe it. Yeah, it keeps going on and on. Hey, we should say, so this gig was sold out and we started scalping our own tickets a few weeks ago. We put two tickets on eBay.

And I think the market value was what, $80? ago we put two tickets on eBay and they I think the the market value was what a $80 yeah and they went for a hundred and fifty eight in the end um now is that person here are they is the guy who paid that much money for the two tickets did they even show up you're kidding you paid that much money you didn't show up what is that not here? Because I looked up. To be honest, I wouldn't claim it either. I went into my eBay account. Hang on, was it Milan? I had to look up

on my eBay to get the guy's name to write on the door and he lives in the Northern Territory. So I think he's just not shown up. He's just a serial killer on the run. He's trying to launder money. More of an eccentric bit. But I was going to say, like, that would have been, like, brutal for him because we ended up having a few...

Oh, hang on. Have we got... Oh, no. I thought someone was pointing at someone. Oh, there's... Oh, Milan's delivered the drink? This has set a dangerous precedent for this gig. It's our fucking drink.

precedent for this gig. Without fucking drinks. This is not the free drink podcast, alright? You guys come in, you want to make everyone call us a dumb cunt and then you want free drinks. Yeah, what is this? What is this show? So, yeah, follow up on Adelaide last week. Our lovely fans,

all three of them in Adelaide. So, I can't remember because I sort of have a few drinks at the show so I forget what I say. But I apparently gave out Dilruk Jai Singer's email address last week and I forgot about it. DilrukJai at gmail.com just for anyone who didn't listen to that one yet.

Hey, I didn't say it. This week. So he gave me a very angry text message during the week and went, you fuck, you fuck, you gave out my email address. I was like, no, I didn't. He's like, you fucking did. Of course he knows because he listens. I don't.

So I was like, oh, look, I probably said it as a joke. He's like, you didn't say it as a joke. I'm just guessing. I don't know what the fuck I said. So then... Why does it make it better if you said it as a joke? You're still guessing. I don't know what the fuck I said. So then... Why does it make it better if you said it as a joke? You're still reading it out. Well, I thought...

DilruchJ at gmail.com. Just kidding. Yeah. For Dilruch at home, he's read it out twice now, okay? So, I said, oh, look, no one would have taken it seriously. A day later, he goes, well, they've hit me up already. I went, oh, well, what was it then?

I'm sorry, but what was it? He goes, I just got emailed a KFC voucher. So, Dilruch, you're welcome. Fuck, that's so good. We're in an Airbnb. We sat in an Airbnb last night and the, you know when you're like, when you get an Airbnb, like when you put in for it, you've sort of got to write a little bit

about your trip, like why you're going to where you're going or whatever. So I put, oh, yeah, me and my friend were coming in to do a show, just need somewhere to stay the night before. And then I'd forgotten I'd done that because then last night she followed up. She emailed me while we were out going, hey, I hope you got in all right, hope everything's fine in the house. I'm like, the house is great, thanks so much.

And then she goes, yeah, good luck with your show tomorrow. I'd come along, but my ex-husband who cheated on me was involved in the theatre, so it's not for me. It's like... The theatre. I may have told her this was a production of Cats, just to sort of make sure we definitely got approved for the room. Yeah, we're coming into Brisbane to do a podcast.

Ah, no thanks, not in my house. You know when Shakespeare first put on Othello and half the crowd went, hi, dumb cunts. All right, should we get on a guest? Well, we've got to talk about what we're drinking right now, right? Or should we do that with a guest? Okay, let's do that. Sure.

Yeah. Folks. Please welcome back into the little dum-dum club, Dave Thornton. Hey, guys. Look at those ankles. Tell me about it. Look at those legs. I tell you what, it wasn't easy getting here

because I was actually trying to get across the Story Bridge with all these cops around saying someone threw themselves off after figuring out they paid $150 to see this shit. Oh, well, thank God we know what happened to him at least. Yeah, yeah, that guy, he had done sued himself. I bloody missed him. Maybe that's what it's short for. He's done himself a suicide.

It's like a millennial fusion word. Oh, guys, he's totes Danso. He's done the biggest suey. Oh, hashtag Danso. He's old W gated himself. Yeah, cool. As in Westgate, you fucking morons. Yeah, you idiots, not knowing the name of a popular suicide destination

in a place you don't live. That's my map of the stars in Melbourne. If you want to go on a bus ride with me, it's just one way to the Westgate. You don't come back. I know sometimes, guys, when you listen to this podcast and you wonder how do the comedians rev up and get this kind of comedy gold out on the mics.

But we were just, when we were backstage talking about it, because last night, surprise, surprise, we were out drinking and then the shitstorm Milan came through and I think I woke up in adult diapers or whatever the hell I was doing. I saw him at the powerhouse wearing his very summery puffer vest.

I'll put on my linen bandana. Very specific jokes about a person that you have to remember, people here don't know who he is. Fucking get on board, you Dunsu fucks. Yeah, get on board on Dunsu. But do you remember we got a cab home? Yeah, I don't remember the cab, but yeah. Well, the three of us, what a treat for that guy,

as all three of us were doing Shane Bourne impersonations. Yes! From the powerhouse to my hotel. Just, ah, Wilbur Wilds just walked in. And then Red Salmon's walked in. Aussie in the gang. Ah, watch out, Ding Dong's here. Ow!

Looks like someone's got two midgets and a headlock. Ow! I hope, I really hope that guy recognised you. Like, I hope he'd watched the project the night before and he's now got the greatest story of all time of like, what the fuck happened in my cab? No, I hope he went the next day, you never know who I had in my cab, Shane Bourne.

And you know what? Funny fact about him, there's three of them. Shane Bourne and two homeless guys he found on the street. What a charitable man he is. Two of his old mates from Blankety Blanks. We used to sit on each other's shoulders, join the raincoat up and sit next to Murray. All right.

Let's go. So should we talk about this? We are now officially, as of this week, this podcast is in bed with Young Henry's, the beer company. This is completely true. They like the cut of our jib and they're helping us out. Wow. I mean, have you listened

to the first ten minutes of today? Are you surprised? No. And part of the arrangement is they've given us as a bit of contra, they've given us ten slaps to, quote, in their words, do with whatever you want. So very generous of them to allow a woman on the front going, give it to me.

No worries. This is young Henry's attempt to get bigger than Milan. Out Milan, Milan. Not moose-flavoured beer then? Well, that's a very good idea. Moose flavoured beer, yeah. We'll put that... Well, now that we're basically junior vice presidents at Young Hebrews,

we'll put that forward. You know what? It sounds fucking awful, but cool. Yeah. Yeah, so we now have these like ten slabs to just do whatever... I want to say that just so we don't seem like super amateur hour, there is more involved than just someone giving us a few slabs and us going, fucking drink this, everyone.

Yeah. But they were like, oh, you could sell it or do what you want. It's like, I don't think you know how licensing laws work. Yeah, yeah. They think we're just going to turn up to the fucking supermarket and sell it out of our boot or something. Are we allowed to do that? I don't know.

Yeah, I mean... I mean, yeah, if you... If we... Hang on a second. These guys, you don't sell it. You give them away. It's just... It's just the safest option, really.

Can we make up a little lemonade stand in the corner of this pub after the gig and go, well, you can go there and pay full price or half price in the corner. That's great. That's really good. What do you reckon, Dave? What can we do with them to make a... You know, to get rid of them, to elevate ourselves, to make some sweet bunts? Could we make some sort of house party where we can charge people

to come in and we say, we've got a few beers for you. If you pay $5, $10 to get in, can you do that? Is that getting around licensing laws? Yeah, as the head of a liquor licensing board in Victoria, what do you reckon? It's not getting around licensing laws. It's making you two look like creepy uncles. Why don't you have a little drink?

Who knows what could happen? And just curiosity, what's your body weight? Do you fit in a boot? That's not bad. We could sell it out the front of schools. Kids would want it. That's not a bad idea at all. Thanks, Dave. Pardon? Make a raft.

Oh my god, that's great! That's like reverse boat people. That's good! That's like reverse boat people. That's good. It's like the shitheads version of Castaway. Instead of a volleyball, a raft of empty beers. I like that as a suggestion.

That's how hard up we are. We're floating to Thailand. Yeah, and saying to guests, good news, we've decided to bring you to Thailand with us. Now there is one catch. The tide's got to be out. Yes. I just couldn't stand the week and a half of Chandler going,

and then there's rickshaws everywhere as well, and... We'll find him when we get there, Chandler. Just calm down. Oh, yeah, so you were just saying, well, that's what I just said. You were on the project the other night. You were on Channel 10's The Project. And you were on, you haven't been on for a while. Yeah.

And you made a triumphant return. And you just happened to be on the night sitting next to one of the biggest power wielders in the country, if not number one. Limo. Yeah, that's right. This is one of those things where you kind of think that maybe comedy works off merit, but I do also know that it also works off the fact if everyone else is touring and you're still in Melbourne,

you get the call-up. That's kind of how this show is booked, yeah. That's how you got on today. Because of this, I'm annoyed I've got gigs up here But I've got to be honest But yes I was sitting next to the Prime Minister yesterday And now I'm doing this

So I don't know If my career's heading in the right direction But Yeah it was like No but this is You made it to the top And now you're going back to the bottom And working your way back up

Is that right? You've clocked it You've gotten to the end of the water slide And you're going back up You're going back on again. Well, I... Because I was wrecked. I was like, it was the middle of the day and I'd done breakfast radio.

All right, mate. Which is... Oh, well... Someone wants a pat on the back for going to their job. Whippity-dee. Just to let you guys know, it's like this,

but I actually get paid. So then... Which is good. Hey, we could send $160 from the Northern Territory, I'll have you know. Yeah, I know. It's funny, we actually just do ads. They don't go, guys, they've given us some ashtrays, should we give them away? What do we do with them?

What do we do? Bev, tell us, what do we do? What are the licensing laws? Do you know? I don't know. Oh, Jesus. Ev, tell us, what do we do? What are the licensing laws?

Do you know? I don't know. Oh, Jesus. Who wants these beers? So they called me over midday and they said, do you want to come through? And I was like, yeah, we're going to be talking about the Snowy Hydro re-jig, I suppose. You've done your research, yeah.

Well, as you can tell, I don't really swim in the intellectual pool often on our radio show. I'm like, has that got anything to do with Justin Bieber? Does that have anything to do with it? And then I turn up and they said the Prime Minister's on. And I was like, oh, so what, like a cross? No, he'll be sitting there next to you. And I'm like no he'll be sitting there next to you and I'm like oh why and they're all in the meeting

Waleed's talking about the Prime Minister and how he's going to grill them how they're going to get into them and then just at the end of the meeting

they go and then you'll be funny at the end and I'm like we kept joking during rehearsals I kept saying to Waleed I wanted him to sit down

and the first thing I'd do is just go... Oh, you smell terrific. But honestly, he sat down and the first thing was, he's a very smarmy looking guy and he sat down and he just didn't know how to fill space and he just goes, ooh, nah shoes. That was on an ad break and I was that close

to be like, fuck off Malcolm. It's got nothing to do with him personally. You just want to do a power play on the big dog. It's just like

if the audience didn't give you a sign that said, say hi dumb cunt when he did that. Just based on the impression you did, talk us through the differences between your Malcolm and your Shane Bourne because I don't think there's

a lot separating them. Do a quick exchange between Malcolm and Shane Bourne. That's great to be addressing the Australian public. Because you guys are so much fun. Australian public. Because you guys are so much fun.

How? How? So, Adam, I was sitting with Peter Dutton. Oh, what if Hughsey was involved as well? How would that sound? There goes the next hour. Alright, just for you, mate.

Here we go. Oh, jeez, we need to protect our borders and keep all the boat people out! Alright. Oh, who's that? Joel Creasy's at the door. Did anyone order Dan Sobe? It's funny because it's the wrong voice coming out of his head. He sort of sounds like those people.

It's crazy. All right, let's get another actor. Yes, folks, it's been ages since... For all the people listening, that's actually my impersonations now. I'm doing Carl and Thomas. It's pretty spot on. Yeah, we're going to leave now and Dave's going to take over the rest of the show just by himself. But you at home won't know the difference.

Guys, it's been ages since we've had this guy on the show. Very stoked to have him back on after such a long gap. Guys, go crazy and welcome in the little dum-dum club, Frank Woodley! Hey! Obviously, we haven't given the guests a big dress standard today, but... Well, Frank turned up and said, so there's no audience at this thing, right? Not nice. Oh, thanks, buddy.

LAUGHTER I'm at the bottom of this pecking order, aren't I? LAUGHTER Frank, so, yeah, this is interesting because you're very well- known as a physical comedian. You do a lot of physical stuff in your stand-up shows. So welcome to this audio medium. Yes, it might. Like, for example, if I did something like this.

Hilarious for these guys. The people at home. So I'll try to keep it verbal this time around. How did you do that? How different are you? For the audience at home, Frank literally just did Dan Su. Yeah. Now do Shane Bourne doing Dan Su.

I don't think we've made it clear for people at home. There is a sign in... Yes, yes. There's a big neon sign that says no Dan Su. So that is what all of this means for people at home. There is a sign in Yes, yes. There's a big neon sign that says no Dan Su. So that is what all of this means for people at home. What a letdown. And we don't know

what Dan Su is. So anyway. Frank, ten slabs. Any idea of what we could do with them? All the hard hitting questions here today. Oh, just untie your legs there, mate. Sorry, there we go. Yep, no, you're good. No, they're not my legs. They're my extra arms that have got feet on them. These are my legs.

Oh, my God. I wish you guys at home could see this. It's amazing stuff. Buy a ticket next time. Buy a ticket. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know what to do with all those beers. I would think you would probably drink them.

I don't drink very much myself. Do you want them? It's always good seeing... So I don't really want them, but it's always good... Like, it is great fun seeing animals drunk. So I could spike some dog bowls or something look out in front of you I think you'll see a bit of that right now now we're both

I think we're both busting to ask you Frank you're part of a very very very successful duo, comedy duo for so many years how good is it not to be in it anymore? Yes, it's a bit like a... For me, the thing I miss most

is the sex. So I don't know what the power to be for you guys, if you ever split up. I should actually say, me and Colin, we are still very good friends. We had dinner on Saturday night. Not together, but it's baby steps at this stage and we were

both independently hungry. Because I feel like we've done so much bad shit to each other over the course of doing the podcast. If this was going to break apart, it would have happened by now. This is it. We're in this for... We're going to die together. Well, look, if we got really angry and broke up,

I don't know what the difference would be. Yeah, the relationship wouldn't change. Yeah, that's great. If you just have a terrible working relationship to begin with, it can never go wrong. Yeah. It was very weird with me and Cole because we did, when we decided to break up,

we did a big national tour as like a final tour. And in every night in the show, we would, you know, every night, we basically had a, we broke up every night for 20 years basically but then it was kind of more uh sort of a more exaggerated version and we would break up at the end of every show but we did a massive tour where we did it like you know 200 times or something and it was just very perverse in a way it was like if you got married and then you went like you ritualistically played out your divorce 200 times you know and and the tour was great and by the end we actually wanted to stay together and we'd had such a good time but we felt like that would be really fucked up you know

do the whole tour and then go gotcha you know that is funny like having a divorce and then go, gotcha. That is funny, like having a divorce and then going, let's have sex 200 more times. Yeah, yeah. If you guys ever tour again, you should call the tour the Makeup Sex Tour. That would be fucking great. And it's got to be a threesome with John Farnham. That's the only way we'll do it. If we do...

And Dame Nellie Melba. Which I shouldn't have had at all. It's just she... I happen to know that she also did many, many, many goodbye tours, but that was like 100 years ago. I think our civilised audience know a bit about opera. Yeah, right? Sorry. And for the audience at home,

Frankie's doing multiple somersaults while he's telling the story. Again, it's just fantastic. It's something the likes of... Fuck it, I'm doing some Dan Su! I don't care! I am Dan Su-ing! You can't stop me. Yeah, this room is like the town from Footloose.

All right, let's get our third guest out here Folks, please welcome back into the little dum-dum club, Limo! Hey, so Limo last time you were on the show was a couple of months ago we were speculating about it pretty heavily you were dodging all the questions. You wouldn't answer us now.

I think it's time for you to give us a straight answer. Are you going to be on this season of I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here? You got me. I am retrospectively appearing in the jungle. I'm actually, I fly there tomorrow. Oh, really? George Lucas starting. I've got a good feeling I might win.

Well, you'll certainly be the last one there. Pays a bit shit. No, I got asked that a lot and and no no wow

we got the scoop and people say would you go into the jungle like and people say like this would you would you do it

they get paid fucking 20 grand a week yeah you could flop 10 dicks in my face for a month and I was like I'd do that for 20 grand a week. Yeah. You could flop 10 dicks in my face for a month

and I was like, I'd do that for 20 grand a week. Fucking hell. I'll do that for free. Okay, which, for everyone listening, that is Dan Su. That is.

That's what Frank is doing. And we will Dan Su if we want to Dan Su. I'm glad you finally named your price, Lima. Yeah. It's good to have that out there, yeah. It's good to know. Pass the hat around. Can I say as well, can I just interrupt for a sec?

Thornow was next to the Prime Minister, as you've just discussed on the project the other night. But Thornow failed to tell you how he addressed the Prime Minister. Because when you work in media, you do have a thing where you go, oh, we interviewed the Prime Minister. Do we call him Prime Minister? Do we call him interviewed the Prime Minister. Do we call him Prime Minister? Do we call him Mr Prime Minister? Do we call him Sir? Do we say Mr Turnbull?

How do you...? Thorno, after going through that conversation in his head, on air, on the project, on a national television show, rolled with, so, big dog. So, big dog. What, you didn't think of knackers? Chief, sport, mate. Nah, fucking big dog.

Is that even legal? And I did flick him in the balls while I said it. Just like wedgie on his way out. I know where to get some free beer 10 slabs champ Let's get on board And the beer So where does your beer sponsorship rank On the scale of sort of

George Clooney Espresso Down to Dum Dum Club You've just described it That's the top and bottom of the scale It's everything else that's somewhere in between That's an official scale That's what top and bottom of the scale. It's everything else that's somewhere in between. That's an official scale. That's what people ask everyone else. Is it George Clooney or is it these cunts?

Well, Frank, have you been hit up to sponsor, to be sponsored by anything? I imagine you would have had people wanting you to... I remember I did some ads in Melbourne for the bus service one time. And that's the best I've been asked to do. Got to get the word out. Yeah, did you?

Well, I can see there's still trams, so you fucked it. Well, when I went to a big, like a press conference thing to launch this big campaign to get people using more public transport. And it's so obvious, of course it was going to happen. Because I had this little ditty that I sang as part of the ad. And so I think I sung that song or something. And then of course one of the reporters said, you know, do you yourself use the bus?

And just in that moment, the comic just knows he wants to say no. And so that's what I said. And then I went, and then I tried to backpedal. Did it get a laugh? It got a laugh. Tried to backpedal again on a bike, not the bus. I'm like, no, I do. Well, I live near a tram stop, so I mainly use a tram.

I do use the bus, and I try to get out of it. Buses are the tracks. Of course, on the news that night, all they showed, of course, was me going, no. Frequently hates public transport. So I haven't been asked to promote anything else since then, surprisingly. I agreed to launch years ago. It was a campaign for a new product.

And they asked me if I would do the big launch announcement. I said, what's involved? They said, well, you just announced this new product. And it'll go out as part of the AFL Grand Final broadcast. It'll be in the quarter time ad break, this you launching it. A new super bus. And it'll be on the big screen at the MCG as well during the Grand Final. I thought, fuck, that sounds pretty cool,

and I was getting some money for it as well, so I said, yeah, okay, fuck, let's do it. How many slabs? And no dicks in face required. And so I said... So you said no. I've got a one dick minimum policy. No dick in face suit.

So I say, yeah, that'd be great. I'd love to do it. So I turn up to Federation Square's place in Melbourne to film it. And the guy is there who's named this new product. Now, I haven't told you what it is yet because this is the reveal. So I announced, remember when Vegemite did a relaunch? And they were changing the name and it was iSnack 2.0? Yeah.

I fucking announced iSnack 2.0. I fucking announced iSnack 2.0 to the world. And we record it because they revealed it just before we filmed it. And I read it and I went, it seems a bit shit but it's the winner so what do I know? So you didn't know when you went in to do it,

when you said yes to do it, you didn't know what it was going to be? No, because it was a competition running nationally and they had flown the winner in from Perth. So they just told me right before I announced. And they had a jar of it there and everything. And initially you thought it was La La Land, didn't you? I did. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so I do it. So I'm at the MCG, at the grand final. And it comes on the big screen. And I was sitting next to Mick Malloy. And the ad comes on and Malloy just stands up and goes, Here he is! Here's the guy that ruined Veggie Mike! His name's Lee Malloy!

He fucked on us! Yeah, real highlight that was. It's the smell of Veggie... And whenever they talk about greatest marketing failures of all time, iSnack 2.0 always comes up. Yeah. Is the smell of Vegemite kind of a trigger for you now? Does it take you back to that? Well, not Vegemite, but the smell of iSnack 2.0.

I got ten slabs of iSnack 2.0. What did you do? I'm pretty confident that even if George Clooney had tried to launch it, it wouldn't have turned out that differently. What the fuck? I want to know what else was in the mix. Like, what nearly made it?

Like, what did they turn down? Look, I didn't see the unlucky losers. It was Vegemite with a bit cheesy or something. So eventually they changed it to Cheesymite. Once they got ridmite with a bit cheesy. So eventually they changed it to Cheesymite once they got rid

of... It is an improvement. No doubt about it. I've got a name that will describe

exactly what it is. Nah, fuck that. Let's go with Ice Snack 2.0. You know,

I remember actually up here in Queensland, this is apt, because I didn't add for Suncorp

about seven years ago. And all it was, it was me and Jesse Griffin, a comedian who does Wilson Dixon. That's got my great response.

It's Wilson Dixon's a character. It's like the Ice Snack 2.0 of comedians. Just you saying a comedian who does Wilson Dixon. It's like, alright, no need to go into you saying a comedian who does Wilson Dixon, it's like, alright, no need to go into

his personal life. It's just another Dixon face thing. You know, comedy duo's a lot, guys. But this one was quite funny because it was literally like candid camera

and Jessie and I would go into three different situations up here in Brisbane and they would set up cameras everywhere and then it was almost like if only life was this easy,

that was the whole thing. So you walked into a tailor and just said, which suits are these mannequins are they and she'd go that's that one that's that one we go cool we'll take them all and then our mates would come in and just grab the mannequins and walk out and the person that was working had no idea it was happening and be like oh what's going on what's going on but we did it in this house that was getting sold and put cameras all through it and the real estate agent had no idea that this was happening right and. And this is Queensland, you know what I mean? Like, no, it'll be fine. It'll be fine. What do you mean this is Queensland?

Well, what I mean is that when we went in and we're like, so how much is this house? And she goes, oh, well, you know, it's going for a fair amount. It's probably a bit of a million dollars or so. And Jesse and I go, we'll take it. And then a removalist van just turns up with furniture. And she's just like, fucking what? And she was? and she was

like a 50 year old woman so it's not going to be an issue calls her son who's a league player who plays for well I don't think the Titans were around then but was playing in a division

that was the one below NRL and he's just like fuck I'll be there mum and then we are and they're still trying because the director's like, well, we can't do another take, so get as much as you can out of this.

So it was this ticking clock of waiting for this front rower to turn up and whether the director would get out of the van or just go, just improvise, guys, see if you get out of it. Wouldn't quite fit with the life is this easy theme. As you're getting your head punched in. Yeah, wheelchair makes my life so easy. Wilson Dixon has to play his guitar with his tongue. It's terrible.

I want to talk about this because we talk about this pretty much yearly on the show. We are heading into comedy festival season. You guys are all doing shows. But, you know, the Adelaide Fringe has been on. You guys all did shows there. But it's kind of like the race has already been won because, once again, for what must be the tenth year in a row, the Fawlty Towers Dining Experience,

which is back again at the Comedy Festival this year, has received a five-star review in Adelaide. It's setting the precedent for the critical raves which it's going to continue to pull in over festival season. We talk about this on the show a lot, but we got an interesting email this week from a listener of the show who said to us, hey mates,

a few weeks ago my workplace hosted the Fawlty Towers dining experience and all I could think about was what sweet content was about to unfold. I held off emailing for a few weeks because I'm almost certain that I'm violating some sort of policy but by now they've probably done about 300 shows since. To give context, I work

part-time pulling beers at a members-only country club in Melbourne and oftentimes we host members-only events and of course the members are usually 50 plus white male and females with too much money. Needless to say, the whole experience from a service standpoint was a nightmare. Mrs. Fawlty ran the show cackling with a voice that could crack paint.

The guy playing Manuel made a racist comment to me as part of his improv. The comment being that I was coloured similar to that of a caramello koala. This ignited the 50-plus crowd. They drove the kitchen staff crazy and frightened a lot of the members who frankly were not prepared for the show that they found themselves in. As

staff we're instructed to not make eye contact with guests and to get in and then get the fuck out of the way. They threw bread rolls at the guests fucked up the cutlery and overall left us all dazed and confused. I've attached who the next ring in for the next members event is coming up and I anticipate it to be much

the same. And then there's a photo down the bottom that he's attached a night with Dave O'Neill. So... Was there five stars at the bottom of that? Yes, yes. That show sounds like a nightmare. Pelting the guests with bread rolls. We should start doing that. Yeah, right.

Beer! Beer! Good point. It would have been great if that guy went, beer! And you just threw a full can into his face. Of young Henrys. But that's what this is turning into for us. That's Fawlty Tales of Dining Experience, and you get a meal with the show.

These fucking idiots think you get free beer with their show. This is the dum-dum drinking experience. So you were saying that in Adelaide. That was a review from, you were saying Adelaide, Fawl were saying that in Adelaide. That was a review from, you were saying Adelaide, Fawlty Tower was happening in Adelaide. We were in Adelaide. Yes.

If people listen to the, I think it was last week's episode, we were talking about how there was a spare seat next to a lady and I was making jokes about, you know, where's he gone? You know, he's pissed off. Classic.

Yeah. Very, very funny stuff from me. But we didn't really... Can we hear it again? Do it again. Where's he gone? We don't know. Enough said.

This stuff writes itself. So anyway, we didn't really resolve it. Whatever. You know, there wasn't much in it. What if Borny was wondering where he was I get a text after the show

stop fucking ringing me oh Frank I don't know if you know this but I read Carl's number out on the show many years ago and it torments him to this day

so I've already been rung three times while I've been up here. So thanks. Thanks everyone. So just hold off while I read this out. So I get this text message. Hi Carl, I'm the podcast widow. Stop it, seriously. Hang on. 0438

636 For people at home someone's got my phone number on their t-shirt They say 666 is the number of the devil That is the number of Dan Su, my friend Frank, what was it like when Colin read your number out during one of your live shows? Excuse me, stop ringing me 040618

Oh, stop Fucking Nick Cody, stop ringing me 040618 oh no stop oh my god fucking Nick Cody stop ringing me fuck you heard a flight mode oh he's heard he's just done nothing about it You're in a flight mode. Oh, he's heard.

He's just done nothing about it. All right, it's going to flight mode. Oh, Dad's cracked it. He's turning the car around. We're not going to the beach anymore. Guys, I guess the question is, how do you put a Nokia into flight mode? You just throw it, I think.

Alright, well we've all had some fun. So, I get this text after last week's show. Hi Carl, I'm the podcast reader who was sitting at the front that you were making jokes about. So Dave, who I was with, my partner, was waiting outside afterwards. Then we broke up.

Probably had nothing to do with you guys, though, so don't worry. Great show. Fuck, this is a good podcast. She said probably. So there's a chance. Well, then I replied, are you serious?

And she replied, yeah. Little Dumb Dumb Club, bringing people together. Oops, I mean the other way around. Lost Tim. Not bad. Not bad. Not bad. That's pretty good.

When you said then, you emailed a message back saying, are you serious? I thought you were just about to say, are you single? Swoop in. Yeah, so... So, would it have been... Because it is weird if somebody laughs at something that you don't think is funny.

Yeah. Like, it can be a kind of, you know, it's sort of a weird little... I kind of felt like them going to the show together, the guy was like, this is the final straw. Because the guy... I remember the guy was, like, not happy. But she was like, this is great, hanging out.

And he was like, I would rather stand outside and look at the wall than watch the next hour. The infidelity was nothing, but this is too funny. You've got to have your limits. Yeah, was this a person who owns our Airbnb that we were saying? Oh, maybe. Yeah. We've been responsible for a lot. Yeah, I'd love to...

We've asked about this before, but I'd love to know like who's... Has anyone met someone through this podcast? Yeah, can we set up Cass? Cass from Adelaide. Sorry, I'm just... This might be... I'll do a quick survey if this is something that I shouldn't think.

But when she said, my husband was in the theatre and he left me, did everyone think, well, he was in the theatre? So, you know, maybe he just realised something about himself that he's known for... hasn't quite... Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. As you said that, this guy in the second row gave it a bit of limp wrist up at the stage just to help you get that over the line.

That is clearly a gross generalisation but it has been borne out. Shane borne out. Oh, Molly's here. I think her husband went and joined Molly in the spa. So just a quick survey. Was that

something that Molly should have done? That was Malcolm Turnbull. So just a quick survey. Was that... That was Malcolm Turnbull. WC Fields? What if I ask her, what if I ask the Airbnb lady, but I ask it in my review of her property? Like, great house, like, really comfortable, everything was as it's said, and then right down the bottom. Quick question about the email you sent me at 10pm.

Did your husband used to really like the Rocky Horror Picture Show? For all to see. Five stars. Yeah. Ask, ask, ask. I mean, if she's going to give you that sort of information, I think you're cool with asking a little bit more. What?

She set the tone for sure. Yeah, right. You didn't ask for that. She's given you that You're well within your rights to go Thanks, the hot shower was great The what? What a review

What was great? The shower It makes a big difference if it's hot or not hot And the pressure, I'm with you Yes, yes But I disagree, I don't think the shower was any good How do you find it? Well, you don't have to say that I'm not going. Yes, yes. But I disagree. I don't think the shower was any good. How do you find it? Well, you don't have to say that.

I'm not going to lie to this woman. You're not going to go, jeez, you've got a shit house. Can you tell me why your husband left you? Is it because of the shower? Yeah. Give her something. Butter her up a little bit first.

Butter her up? What? Tell her she's got a nice house. This is classic how to meet people and influence friends or whatever the fuck it's called. That's the actual title. How to influence your friends. Yeah, I can see this is going to become a dating podcast.

Yeah. I want to read out another, like speaking of workplaces and people contacting the podcast. I got this the other day from a listener because we did a shout-out. We've been trying to work out what people who listen to this do for work. We want to know who's got the most interesting job. Yeah. What a bad guess.

Someone wrote in and said... You must have some power plays on a show that cost nothing. Well, some guy wrote in and said, you asked for interesting occupations. I think you and Carl would take some joy in the fact that I tend to download episodes of the show and listen to them at my job at Disneyland

backstage with other cast members. Wow. If you ever make your way back out to California, I'll get you guys in for free. Well, I don't think there's any surprise this is officially a Mickey Mouse podcast. So we've got the Koh Samui Podcast Festival. Next step, the Disneyland Podcast Festival. So what does he do, though?

So he must be like... He's a performer? He's dressing up as fucking goofy and walking down Main Street. And then they're all sitting there, taking their heads off, getting on the work Wi-Fi and listening to a bit of this. Oh, great. Isn't that amazing? Drinking a bit of Young Henry's.

Yeah. I just picture it like, you know those really, really old Disney cartoons that are in black and white and the cows are, like, dancing to, like, the ukulele and stuff? It's like that, except it's our podcast playing and all the characters cows are like dancing to like the ukulele and stuff. It's like that except it's our podcast playing and all the characters are like bashing in each other's skulls and like 69ing on the ground.

I love this podcast. That just reminds me of that weird image where you see like one of the Disney characters out of Disneyland and they'll accidentally knock over, because they can't see very well in those suits, they knock over a toddler and the toddler is screaming but they've still just got the massive smile on their face.

It's like, wow, that's a creepy... Yeah, like what if there was like a fire or something and they have to like evacuate and they're sprinting. But I know they're very strict in there about like you can't ever take the head off. Because there's all these stories about kids like walking around a corner and there's a fucking

decapitated Mickey with his head underneath just having a dart and the kids are traumatised. More so, listen to our podcast. I'm looking at the kid going, G'day, dickhead. I did a gig with Elmo during the week, interviewed some school kids.

What brand of Vegemite was he promoting? Elmo 1.0. It's good gear. And we finished and then I watched the dude stuff Elmo into a plastic bag, into a bag and I was fucking traumatised.

There was a huge We can't breathe! Open the fucking bag! There was so much of applause after I watched him stuff Elmo into. I'm like, where is this going to go? It was quite the after party. This wasn't quite as traumatic, but I remember being in a TV studio... When you used to stuff Colin into a bag.

Yeah, I had to kind of jump up and down on him a bit but eventually he went in. I love that ventriloquist act you used to do. That was great. No, we were at a TV studio in Adelaide and I remember just opening a little dressing room cupboard and there were two fat cats hanging in the cupboard. And I didn't know if I was more disturbed about the fact

that they were hanging in the cupboard. And I didn't know if I was more disturbed about the fact that they were like hanging in the cupboard or that there were two of them. Well that's, yeah, just when you said Elmo 1.0, how many Elmos do you reckon they've gone through at this point? Is there like a, and whoever's in charge, are they keeping all the ones that are

too ratty and old to use anymore? Is there some like mass grave of Elmos somewhere like in the Jim Henson workshop? Like the Skippies. They went through quite a few Skippies apparently. Have you heard the story? They really did. There's a great story. Very quickly, that's what I've always wanted.

I haven't made it into a joke but I should but I think this is funny. A glimpse behind the magician's cut. We don't need comedy. We just talk about jokes that we might be able to make at some stage in the future.

First there was where's he gone? Now he's about to do it again. And you've got to finish the sentence as I should write a joke. Well, this is the thought.

Like when you, you know, you've gone through all those costumes. When you chuck out an Oscar the Grouch thing and you open the bin you go,

well, is this... Are they using this anymore or is this working really well? There's a great... I can't do impressions at all, but there's a great Frank Thring story about guesting on Skippy and when he arrives on set, there's like a Hessian bag and Skippy is in it because it was a very comforting place for the kang kangaroo like a kind of a pouch who would sleep in this hessian bag that was hanging on a door handle on the

caravan and apparently frank thring said if that's the stars dressing room what are they going give me luckily not many people know can remember what friend three spoke like, so it was probably fine. That was perfect. Spot on. I don't know who that is, and I just had a moment of going, something's happening to Woodley right now in front of our eyes. We need to call the ambush.

They went through a lot of babes too, didn't they? Pigs. Oh, mate, I've gone through a lot of babes in my time. Hell yeah. And they'll all be back. Is that true, they went through babes? Yeah, because piglets grow so quickly. Oh, they weren't squashed or something.

They just grew too old. No, one day they're working, next day catering. Yeah, I was going to say. Bacon sandwiches again, this is weird. You put bacon in the ice cream? Oh, my God. Hollywood is so fickle. Yeah, yeah.

It's not babe in the city. It's babe in the buffet. Babe in the extras. They're all eating it. So they went through a lot of skippies, you were saying. Right. Is that common? I think so, yeah.

There were quite a few skippies. I think they used the same hands for the whole lot. Because they were just on a stick. That's true. Just on a stick. That's true. And also, the sound of like... Kangaroos don't do that. The noise kangaroos make is... If you've ever

heard a kangaroo, that's all they do. That's a great Frank Thring. I always thought that Skippies sounded very condescending the way he communicated with Sonny. Didn't you think like... So judgmental. Yeah, that's what I felt.

Not how I would have done things. I'm going back to my bag. To my sack. We've been talking about the Costa Mui Podcast Festival that we're going to. It's May 31 to June 5. Is anyone here going to the Costa Mui Podcast Festival? Oh, yeah.

Not you. There's Nick Cody heard beer after and was like, yeah, I'm on board. So I've been getting a lot of communication from people who have, when people have purchased accommodation at the beautiful Ozo Samui Shoueng Resort, they've been emailing to sort of confirm. All right, don't give me shit for how I pronounce it. So we've got a lot of internationals coming. So we've got...

Confirmed this week was someone from New York, someone from Switzerland. There are two different people from China coming. Wow. Yeah. Two different people. Mate coming. Wow. Yeah. Two different people. Mate, there's fucking... Last year, one different person came.

Next year, two of the same people. Yes. There's... There's fucking two billion of them. Are you that shocked? What are the odds? Like, the best odds in the world. It's the best odds. It's a start.

And China's closer to Thailand than we are. You should be disappointed. They're going like a group of white people are turning up here. What the fuck is going on? Guys, you wouldn't read about it. There's going to be a fuckload of Thai people there as well. It's funny. Thai people.

I don't have an anecdote or anything but me and Colin I haven't got a joke but in a couple of weeks I'll come up with one When me and Colin did the Adventures of Lionel Woodley Alright mate We got We got

one piece of fan mail from India And I didn't even know It must have been on in India somewhere We got one piece of fan mail from India. Right. Yeah, and I didn't even know whether... Like, it must have been on in India somewhere. And we got this one piece of glowing fan mail. So that's even worse. There's a billion people there too. Yeah, yeah.

And one of them liked our... Well, we got two. We got two from China, so... How many Colins did you go through on the adventure? One season season Colin was Frank I reckon we better

wrap this up what do you say what do you say folks give a big

round of applause Dave Thornton Frank Woodley and Limo

guys thank you so much for coming out and checking out the show for you guys listening at home thank you so much for coming out and checking out the show. For you guys listening at home, thank you so much. And we'll see you next time. See you, mates.