The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 344 - Dave O'Neil & Danielle Walker

Episode Date: May 8, 2017

Pie Planes, Failed Hypnotism and Family Outings.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on The Little Dumb Dumb Club, a new episode with Dave O'Neill and first-time guest Danielle Walker. But before we get into that, we have to tell you about a few things. Carl, let me ask you this. What are you doing in three weeks' time? Good question. I'll field this one. May 31. That's interesting that you know the exact date in three weeks' time off the top of your head. Oh, look, this is the only thing I've got in the diary. I was just going to go out and hang out at like a cafe at Tullamarine Airport.

Oh, yes. Just people watch. Which one? What's your favourite cafe out at Tullamarine? Probably the Hungry Jacks. Yeah, that's a good one. It's next to the subway. It's near newsagents.

It's the equivalent of the Melbourne Laneway of the airport out there. It is. I think it's an interesting choice by the Melbourne Airport to have a newsagency in it. You don't really see that that often, do you? Yeah, but what? A news agency in what? I'm being sarcastic. Oh, okay.

All right. You got me. I think it's good. I like news agents at the airport. It's probably the only good news agent there is. Yeah. When are you going into a news agent down the street these days? Same with a bookshop.

It's like the news agent bookshop combo. It's good to to do a bit of a just read the first couple of pages of every book in there yeah get a bit of sampling yeah see what new book is out about a fucking drug epidemic or or you know cocaine kingpin oh yeah i do find that interesting how the airport uh bookshop always has a lot of that they love they love crime they love specifically cocaine based crime yeah it's like its own section where there's about a million books on sale at any given time. And given that it's at the airport, you go, surely this is the worst place to put that.

But apparently not. Apparently they love it. Giving people ideas, you're saying. Yeah, exactly. Like, you know, especially – like you don't want to get caught. Like I would actually – maybe I'm wrong, but I would actually worry about being stopped and having my bag open it's like how to smuggle cocaine the book like oh yeah i shouldn't have done this one i should comes with a little secret compartment inside

the cover in the hardcover edition i knew i should have gone with my gut instinct and just got take five the magazine yeah how to be a good law-abiding citizen if i'd had that in my bag i would have walked through every time she's just got the puzzle book like my mum Anyway, sounds like you're not up to much on May the 31st, so I guess we can just start the episode. Nothing to report here. Yeah, well, I mean, if you want to come out there and just watch me and help me solve a few puzzles when I get a magazine, a Take 5 magazine and sit there at the Subway restaurant.

Yes, I'm calling it a restaurant. Yeah? It serves food. You can sit down. There's tables and chairs. It's a restaurant. Is there a Subway at the airport? There is. Is there? Yeah, it's opposite the Hungry Jacks. Okay. Yeah, completely opposite. Yeah. It serves food. You can sit down. There's tables and chairs. It's a restaurant. Is there a subway at the airport? There is.

Is there? Yeah, it's opposite the Hungry Jacks. Okay. Yeah, completely opposite. Right. They're rivals. Completely opposite. Completely.

Not slightly. Well, we're being facetious here. We do need to plug something. Let's say you're one of those freaks who likes to drive out at the airport and sit in that little car park nearby and watch those planes taking off, jacking your little dick over the sound of a fucking Boeing engine blasting into the sunset. There is a former guest on the show that does actually do that. Really?

Yeah. Do you want to name them? Tony Moclair. Yeah, okay. He's obsessed with planes. He's a big plane nerd. Yeah. But, yeah, he's one of those idiots that sit at the wire fence

and just watch planes. I didn't know that. I didn't really know that was a thing until maybe a year ago. I drove past that bit where they're all there. They're just hanging out, having a great old time. There's a Mr. Whippy van pulled up to kind of service them all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I want to actually see this now.

Yeah, if you run a food truck, go park down there. There's not going to be the council regulations that there are in Fitzroy. If you run a porno magazine truck, drive past there because there's plenty of virgins there that need some attention. On your way from leaving them up the bush, you can swing past there on your way back. So if you're one of those people, you're going to be sitting there about 11am on May the 31st. That is if you're in Melbourne. If you're in Melbourne.

At the Tullamarine Airport, you're just plane watching. You might be, if you get out of your car and you turn the radio off and you just, you listen faintly off in the distance, you might be able to hear CMS. If you're a journalist that runs the spotted section in the celebrity section in the newspaper, get out there. You might be able to see a bunch of dumb cunts. Spotted at 10,000 feet.

Yeah. Several dumb cunts on their way to the island of Koh Samui. Yes. For, of course, the famous, the world famous Koh Samui International Podcast Festival. Sorry. The rich young is a fucking idiot and his shithouse YouTube channel Guru One presents the 2017 Koh Samui International Podcast Festival. It was off the tongue.

That's a lot. We should call it something else. Let's just call it Fuckfest 17. Well, we need to have proof that that's going to happen first. Hey, maybe if that's how it pans out this year, we might have to go, you know what? More fucking happened than podcasting. Time to rebrand this thing.

And once again, guys, if you are in any way affiliated with the law, please give us a helping hand as to how we're going to cover ourselves if anything wrong happens. So yeah, that's happening. We are going over to – if this is maybe your first time listening to the show, we are heading over to Koh Samui to do a four days, five days of podcasting and podcasting-related activities.

We are bringing guests with us from the podcast. We also have a bunch of listeners flying over and staying with us at the Ozo Chuang Samui Resort, the official accommodation of the Koh Samui Podcasting Festival. If you would like to come, May 31st until June 5th, head to the Ozo Chuang, their proper website, their official website.

Enter the code PODCAST and you're going to get a sweet discount on your room. And you need to do that for that allotted amount of time because that's how it works for May 31 to June 5. And if you put in podcast there, you'll get a great, great discount. So that's sort of like our little base.

That's the home. We've got dozens and dozens of people that are confirmed already, which is thrilling and worrying, really, isn't it? I went to book in a room the other day for one of our guests. And it comes up when you put that code in, then when you check out, it comes up as the official reference, Australia Podcast Group. Yes. That makes it sound very official, doesn't it?

Ah, the APC. No, APG. Sorry. Yeah. No, I'm intrigued as to what they think we're going to do. Yes. And how they're going to treat us over there. Yeah.

Well, they could make for good content on the show. Can you email them and just go, look, this not – for no reason, totally fine whatever you think. Yeah. But can you just send us a paragraph of what you think this is going to be? Yeah. And then we can read that out and ridicule them. Yeah.

Because, I mean, we're dealing with people that English isn't their first language. So, it'll be interesting. Yeah. But, yeah, what's going to be more interesting, I think, is the reaction of other hotel guests to what we're doing. Because this is the other thing. I told you this, but when I went to book this room, I did notice, you know, like any hotel booking website,

it comes up with, you know, all the different types of rooms you can get. So a lot of them at the Ozo, they're gone. They're completely full. Oh, yeah, but that's just depending on how many they're allocating for that password, I think. There's probably other ones, but it's always like, because you know what? I feel like I put those dates in and those come up before I put the password in. Okay. Well, yeah, I'm not sure then. I don't know. But we are literally going in what they call the low season. So it's not as busy as usual, even though, I don't know why it's the low season.

It's June. It's the best time, in my opinion, to go from here because we get a real cold snap in Australia about that time. And over there, it's like, you go over there and they're always like, oh yeah, it's the low season. Sorry there's not many people around. Sorry it's the bad season. It's like, yeah, cool.

It's 33 degrees every day. What a shit one. Yeah. So it is not as busy in that time of year, which is good for us. We've got more time, less people to annoy, less people to complain about us screaming cunt into the sky. Yeah. Well, there's going to be – yeah, I mean, we've got quite a –

we've got a ton of people booked in already coming along, which is going to be great. And if you cannot come but you want to be kept updated of everything that's going on, we have a GoFundMe page set up where you can find the link to that on our website, littledumbdumbclub.com. And if you chip in, $10 are over. We are going to, on top of doing a podcast over there,

we're going to be filming stuff every day. We're going to be making all sorts of extra exclusive bonus content that we will send to you if you've chipped in. So if you can't make it over, this is the next best thing. This is like pay-per-view for dumb cunts. Yes, exactly. And we'll be sending stuff every day,

like live as it happens and stuff. So you'll be getting daily updates and daily rushes, as it were, bits and pieces like that, stuff that no one else will get. So we'll be giving you plenty of that sort of stuff just to say thanks for funding this remarkable idea. If we get food poisoning, you're going to be right there on the front lines with us. You're going to feel like you're excavating your bowels as well.

I'm calling it. I'm not getting food poisoning. Oh, you're calling it, are you? Yeah. Oh, that's an interesting take. You're going to not get it. Yeah. I hadn't considered that.

Yeah. I was planning to definitely get it. Well, I might have to take a leaf out of your book. You have a bit of an upset tummy compared to me, I think. Yeah, but also I've gotten food poisoning over there and it was just – it wasn't that. It was like – it was with my girlfriend at the time. Right. She'll be back.

Yep. That's her name, isn't it? That's her Thai name. She'll be. That was just bad fish. So I do get sicker than – I'm not talking about just a bit of an upset stomach. I'm talking about, you know, full-blown, you just eat something crook. Not just a Sansotif tummy.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. No, I'm very much looking forward to the food over there. Oh, man, we've been talking, like me, you, some of the other guests. What a conversation we're in. Yeah, but we've been talking about how exciting it is now that it's actually

coming true it's like wow this is a once in a lifetime it was the great timing of it where I think we were all so busy with Comedy Festival it was sort of on the

back burner for a bit and then all of a sudden it finished and I was like doing the maths and it was like fuck it's in four weeks like we go soon

I'd better get a passport yeah we do actually have to get together and plan out exactly what we need and don't need and stuff like that. So we're doing that at the moment. We've got – I think we talked about it last week. We've got a person involved in filming and stuff like that who we are extremely impressed with their work.

So it will be interesting to see what they make of us. But we are negotiating stuff at the moment. So, yeah, look, it's almost like a different country over there. So we're having to figure out a few little odds and ends. But we are still being hit up by guests, by potential guests as well, who are super excited with this idea, so they want to come as well. Well, a bit of like, should I come? And it's like, yeah, it's a week on the beach.

Of course you should come. But I think what they're angling for is for us to throw some of that sweet bunce their way. should I come? And it's like, yeah, it's a week on the beach. Of course you should come. But I think what they're angling for is for us to throw some of that sweet bunce their way. Yeah, look, honestly, initially I did – I've talked about this. I hit up a lot of comics going, would you be potentially interested in this, especially if we were flying you over and putting you up, and then everyone's just sort of gone, yeah, so that's definitely what's going to happen.

Okay, it's like, yeah, it didn't quite work out like that. yeah we do have the money to do that we have done that with a bunch of people but there's there's a there's a bottom to the bucket i still don't agree with the way that you went about that messaging 30 people at once going hey hypothetical question if we flew you across the other side of the world and you didn't have to pay for it would you be interested yeah and bugger me down wouldn't you know it, everyone's interested. Interested and now following up going, so what's happening with that thing that I interpreted as this is definitely happening if you want to do it?

I did make a mistake because now none of them are friends with us anymore. They've all dumped us. We're dead to them. Yeah, so we do have some – should we announce – have we announced officially the guests that we do have or not? I think we've announced some of them. Yeah, should we do the some – should we announce – have we announced officially the guests that we do have or not? I think we've announced some of them. Yeah. Should we do the whole thing now or not?

He's confirmed coming. Yeah. Dilruk Jaisingar. Yes. Nick Cody. Yes. What of it? What of it?

And Tom Ballard. Tom Ballard. Yeah. I don't think we've announced Tom Ballard. No. So that's – there you go, guys. There's a third guest and there's more to come, I think. I think.

Hopefully, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's – Someone who you might be hearing on think. I think, hopefully, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, it's... Someone who you might be hearing on the show in the next couple of weeks is also coming.

And, yeah, there's still potentially people that are interested as well. I mean, get your skates on, guys. Guests,

if you're listening, potential guests. And, you know what? And listeners, you know, this is it. This is,

by the time you hear this, if you're hearing it fresh off the presses, there's not long to go. There are still people that are on the fence. Get on it, guys. So please get to that Ozo website.

Get that sweet discount. Talking about all that sort of stuff, so the people that put into the GoFundMe, like you said, they're getting all these bonus content. Also people that are getting all the bonus content are the Patreon subscribers. Yes. So let's get on to that. Of course, if you sign up to patreon.com slash littledumbdumbclub, you get bonus episodes every month.

You get bonus magazines that we make up that we spend far too much time working on. But it is fun in the middle of doing it. It's not fun when we have a full magazine to do. But once we're doing it, it's fun because it's like we've got this little publishing house. It looks cool when you send it to me and I get to look back on it. Yeah. What's not fun is getting constant messages from you going have you got anything to fucking send me yet? Yes. And me going, okay, I better fucking

ten reasons why doing a podcast is fun. Fuck, I might use that. Yeah, yeah. Don't burn your gold on this thing, on the lesser thing, the actual podcast. Yeah, it is a yeah, but it is cool. You know what I did the other day actually, because I've still got all

them saved on my computer. I went back and I looked through like the first ones that we did, because I'd forgotten all the stuff that we put in there and it's like, now we've got like, what, we've got like 16 of them that are all like 7 pages. We've got like a big... Oh, more than 7. They're usually 10 pages. Yeah, we've got like a

big bumper crop of This content sitting there Yeah There's some Yeah We do a good job Yeah There's some great drawings

From you in there It's a little time capsule Of your art evolving Through the sixteen issues I feel like sometimes I very much go backwards With the quality of my work Really

Due to time constraints I don't agree I think it's very good Okay thank you Yeah So Patreon subscribers Of course you get all that stuff. Plus, you get your little name read out.

That's what you've got your little dicky in your hand waiting for now. So, let's get into it. Patreon subscribers, thank you very much for all the money you've contributed to us over the months. Thank you to Jeff Young. Jeff Young. Yeah, no relation to Rich Young, I presume. Who knows? Might be. If he is, he's relation to Rich Young, I presume. Who knows? Might be.

If he is, he's the very much poorer cousin. Yes. Because he's chucking in not that much. He's not chucking in some big fucking grands like the other boy did. He's his son and he's just taken a little bit of his pocket money and giving it to us. Oh, right. Okay.

He's the poor cousin to Rich Young. Do you think that would annoy you having a name? So when you're a kid, your last name's Young. Ah, yeah, Young. Just like your name. Yeah, look at him, little. But then, of course, you get old and then it's not so much like your name anymore, are you?

Like you'd never be in the sweet spot where you're not going to be annoyed by people's shit comments about your last name. Yeah, any name that's specific is going to be annoying. But, yeah, it's going to be a sad day when you hit maybe 30 or something. Those jokes start. Oh, still young. Yeah, young. Is it?

30, still young. Nah, still young. Is it? Still young. Nah, I'm still young. Still young at heart. You should get married and change your name to your wife's last name now. You don't deserve that name anymore.

Old Young Jeff. Of course, at the roll call. Young Jeff. Young Jeff. Yeah, there you go. But you've referenced this several times over the last couple of months of episodes. Are they still doing that at schools? Going last name first? I'll be honest.

I haven't been to school lately, so I'm not sure. Did they even do that in your day? Because I certainly don't remember them doing that at my school. It was first name first. Right. No, I think yeah, look, I can't remember the way they read it out but I remember it was always written like that. Do you know, did you ever have

this? Maybe small country town, not so much but you know you like you remember things that you did at school that now kind of make your skin crawl because you go, that was pretty uncool that we did that. Anyone with a quite ethnic surname in the class, when a new teacher would come in and just fuck the pronunciation right up

and you'd all light up. You'd go, you dumb Italian. He got it wrong. Yeah. Nah, mate. I went to school in Mirabar. We didn't have ethnic. That's what I mean.

Yeah, that was my question. But like at the time, there was nothing funnier than some poor cunt getting their name absolutely butchered. And now you look back on it, it's like, is that cool to be laughing at that? It seems pretty unchill. Man, I remember there was one – honestly, I don't think we had anyone, you know, like that. It was just all local Mirabar people.

I remember – Chandler would have been the most exotic name in the mix, I imagine. Yeah, sure. And I remember a kid moving there and he was Greek and his last name was Tahagas.

And everything, I remember... Why can't he chip into the Patreon? Yeah, yeah. It wasn't me, but I remember whatever he would do at school

it'd be like, he'd, you know, knock something over and it'd be like, what are you fucking knocking that into the chip fry, mate? Yeah. Bullshit, it wasn't you. I reckon it was you every time. No, no, it wasn't me.

Back then, I didn't like to hang shit on people for stuff like that. Wow. I've evolved. I've evolved. We had a kid, his last name was Dimitropoulos. Right. And then one time a replacement teacher pronounced it Dimitri Poulos. Yeah.

Which you just go, I mean, that's on him. Like, what a fucking horrible crack. Yeah. Like, what a horrible attempt. Yeah. But we just couldn't imagine anything funnier. Yeah. Thanks, Jeff.

Next up. Now, he's a slightly interesting one Now this person He hasn't been on the show It would be great to have him on the show But because we're in different cities this doesn't happen But a celebrity Does donate to us

And he deliberately did this So that it was under the Under the rating Under the $2 rating So he doesn't get his name read out. But I'm going to read his name out anyway. He puts in $1.99 a month. And you know that this is definitely this person?

Yes. Not just someone using their name? No. Fuck, I cannot wait to find out who this is. You don't know this one? No. Okay. Well, it is of the chaser, Craig Rewcastle.

But he registers his name as Craig Poocastle, which would have come in very handy back at school, like we were talking about. Imagine the teacher mispronouncing that. Well, by putting his name as Craig Poocastle, it's taken the wind out of our sails. What do we do with that now? He's done it.

He's sort of, you know, it's like this is the first time the chase has turned back in on itself. He's done to him what they do to other people. Oh, he's pranked himself. Doesn't feel very good, does it, Craig? Oh, he's bloody, he's bloody. Mate, imagine those boys let loose on the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival. Imagine the bloody stunts they'd be pulling.

Imagine them. Fucking rocking up to one of those, you know, bars in the pool dressed like John Howard. I mean, the bartender would bloody shit his pants. You know what they'd be doing? They'd be bloody dressing up in a big fake ladyboy suit. And then when one of our guests goes to have sex with them, they just burst out and go, gotcha. This all sounds pretty good.

We've got to get him over there. So thanks for your $1.99 a month, Craig Poo Castle. Yeah, thanks. And the reason he put that in every month is just he sent us a message So thanks for your $1.99 a month, Craig Poo Castle. Yeah, thanks. And the reason he put that in every month is just he sent us a message on Twitter going, you guys are fucking idiots for only charging $2 to get your name read out. It should be $5 and to teach you a lesson, here's some money. Yeah.

So he got us. Yeah. He did chase us. But now we've set the precedent of you don't even have to put in the two. Is this now a binding contract where he has to go back in and give us a one cent in lieu for all the months that he has chipped in so far? Oh, I don't think it does. But I'll give you a little hint.

Like, you know, we do say $2, right? $2 is the minimum. Don't read too many $2 ones. Oh, wow. A glimpse behind the curtain. That's it. A bit of how to do this. Well, I look forward to all those $2 subscriptions dropping

off now. That's going to be cool. Thanks for revealing that. They'll all be upping them to $5. Because that's I give a bit of priority. If someone's whacking in $50 a month, I'm going to read their name out first rather than fucking Craig Poo Castle, $1.99. Thanks, Craig. Thanks, Craig. Hey, you know

what? So, you know, his primary source of income is the ABC, the taxpayer dollar. Yes. So really this is just like we've paid ourselves. Oh, yeah. All right. Oh, fuck. We'll edit his name out of this. Just put our names back in.

More like Craig Shitcastle. Yeah. Gotcha. Thanks, Craig. Thank you too. Amy Lanning. Lanning. Amy Lanning. Aning. Amy Lanning.

A-I-M-E-E. Oh, I like that. I like that spelling of Amy a lot. It's nice. It's better than the old boring one. Unless, of course, you know what would be a better spelling? You know what would be a better spelling? I wish the listener could see the way you're pointing at me right now,

as if I'm on trial here. No, I just got excited and I got a case of the points. If you start – if you called – I don't know if people do this, but if you started calling your daughter Amy but naming it – but spelling it like double AMI, like the insurance. Oh. That's good. That's – like we've been talking about, you know,

Bogan spellings of names and stuff like that. That must be – Is there any out there? There must be. There have to be. They'd only be like two or three at this point but I reckon there's someone who thinks that that's They've looked at the ad and gone, oh that's Parisian

Yeah. Oh, talk about Jeff Young copying it for a bit of young. It's like fuck, name your kid Amy and two seconds after they cut the cord oh lucky you're with her. Yeah Well you'd be hoping, I guess as a parent your assumption would be maybe that company's not going to last that long and by the time this kid's 15 they'll have gone under. Is that what you're with her. Yeah. Well, you'd be hoping, I guess as a parent, your assumption would be maybe that company's not going to last that long. And by the time this kid's 15, they'll have gone under.

Is that what you're doing when you're naming a beautiful baby girl? We'll call it the thing that's going to go fucking ass up any second. That'll be cool. We'll name it after a dead insurance company. Well, like, I find it weird that I can never remember the timeline. Like, Bart Freeban, who's been on this show, is he born after The Simpsons came out? No, no, no, no.

Man, he's 37, 38 or something like that. Okay, right. What's Simpsons been going? Not 30 years. Yeah, okay. They're becoming close. Yeah. It's not as old as Bart.

Okay. But you know when you meet people Who have Who are around the same age As the Simpsons Yeah And so it must have been And you meet a guy called Homer Yeah And it must be within that

First year of that show Being big Right And maybe the parents thinking Nah It's just a flash in the pan Oh is there many Monty's going around Have you met a Monty

Have you met a Barney Yeah Duffman Yeah Have you met a comic book guy Like Thanks Amy Thanks Amy Barney. Yeah. Duff man. Have you met a comic book guy lately? Thanks, Amy.

Thanks, Amy. Thank you to, oh, we've gone double. Girls, back to back. Check this out. Jesus Christ. Thank you to Kate Anderson. Kate Anderson. Ando.

Straight up. Very just traditionally named Kate. K-A-T-E-A-N-D-E-R-S-O-N. Look, up to you. Any relation to Pammy? Who knows? Oh. Who knows?

Is this Will Anderson chipping in under a pseudonym, Craig Rewcastle style? Oh, right. Maybe. Maybe. I'd like to think more it's Pammy, finally giving back. Giving a bit of those sex tape profits back to the community. She heard us talking about her a couple of months ago. It kind of reinvigorated her public profile.

And now she's like... Yeah. I mean, we've given a lot to her over the years and she's giving back now, I guess. Yeah. Good on her. She's always been in our thoughts, in mine especially. Yeah.

Thanks, quote unquote Kate wink wink look Kate if you want to turn up to Koh Samui and give us a bit of star power

like when you gate crashed the big brother house yes if you want to get your ex-husband Tommy to drive the motorboat over there

and beep on the horn and you can totally do all of that stuff great let's recreate that tape over there. Fantastic stuff.

All right. Lastly, lastly this week. Let's have like a final night party that's themed over there. Let's have like a prom, like a blue light disco on the last night and the theme is the Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee sex tape. I'm going to come dressed as the boat. I wonder if there's any costume shops on Koh Samui. I'd imagine not.

Not so much. And lastly this week, our last Patreon read. Thank you very much to a new Patreon subscriber. Let me get this right. Little Miss Comedy. Yeah. Oh, so if you've got a keen eye. Is this the fourth?

Yeah, I believe that there's now four. I mean, I assume this is from the same comedy family. Yes. I mean, for me to say if Chandler comes up doesn't mean I'm automatically related. But certainly the surname on this person is Comedy. Yeah. And it seems like a young girl. Yeah.

So I'm assuming that it is the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Comedy and the sister of Master Comedy. Yes. I'm assuming. Little Miss. Little Miss. Yes. I don't know if that's a nickname or if that's technically the name or not.

I'm not sure. It's up to whatever they want to put on the form. It's like Craig Poo Castle. They've changed their name. This person might be actually called Small Miss Comedy. Yeah. Yeah. Trying to throw us off the scent. Well, thanks, Small Miss Comedy. Yeah, trying to throw us off the scent. Well, thanks, Little Miss Comedy.

And thanks to you, the listeners, for enduring this awful bit for so long. I wonder who's going to be on there next week. Okay, so yeah, all that stuff. You've got T-shirts available as well for the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival. Go to the website. We've got the awesome elephant shirt. We've got the awesome elephant shirt. We've got the awesome singlet. If you are going to Koh Samui, if you're coming,

you are very much obliged to grab one because we're not charging tickets or anything, but, you know, it's a good way of us being able to keep control of who should be there and who shouldn't be there and just do the right thing and chip in and buy a shirt. If you get, you know, if you're having trouble with the law over there, if you get picked up, quickly take the shirt off so that we're not tied to you, but the rest of the time, keep it on. If the local Koh Samui TV station are there filming, please whack it back on.

If you're on Samui Conan, please chuck it on. Alright guys, littledumbdumbclub.com for all that stuff, and enjoy this week's episode. Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo and sitting opposite me, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day, dickheads. God, I love doing comedy.

Oh, we've peaked already. So I just want to say up front, if you've been listening to up front, you have just, if you've been listening to the intro, you have been hearing about us. We are going to Koh Samui, the Koh Samui Podcast Festival. We've been very lucky enough to be selected by the management, by the producers. The committee, the board of directors. Exactly.

We're going over, we're heading over. We're the only ones confirmed at the moment, but I'm sure there is more to come. Absolutely not. So, but we do have a GoFundMe site where people contribute to the festival and thus to us. A lot of people, they've been very, very generous, but what I do like, I do update this every couple of days just to see,

because you can leave a message, you know, and it's like, good luck in Samui, boys, and can't wait to see the content. There's a lot of people that are starting to do this. They're chucking in $69. Yes. A lot of people are putting in $69. And I just liked the one the other night that just went, it just comes up as $69, no name, comment, cunts.

But that sums up our podcast, I think. Someone doesn't want to put their name to it, $69 and just cunts. Yeah. I don't want to be crass by kind of like boasting in public about donating this money. Yeah. But instead I'll leave this certain word sitting there. Yeah. Yeah.

So I appreciate that. Despite all of the things involved there, we do appreciate all of your funds. Well, the other thing is I have to go back in and look on the back end of like when people submit, like, you know, they have their names and stuff. Yeah. If they're putting anonymous, I certainly hope there's an email address attached to that. Yeah.

Because otherwise I can't give you the content that we make, which is the whole point. Yeah, it's far away from the old Good Friday appeal where it's like, you know, $30 from the Rosefield family if you say Merry Christmas, everyone. Oh, imagine that. You chip in a million bucks to the Good Friday appeal, but you go, you have to say,

Andrew O'Keefe has to say the word cunt down the barrel at midday. Very quickly before we get the guests on, I did do that once and felt very bad. I did. Me and my friend did pledge like 50 bucks if you say, you know, all this stupid bullshit. And then they didn't do it and then they sent us the bill going, anyway, time to donate your 50 bucks.

And like my mum and dad got it and went, so you donated 50 bucks for the Good Friday appeal Cool, that'll be good for all the sick children I'm like, no, to be fair, they didn't say stick a pipe cleaner up your arsehole So I'm not paying anything And they're like, what are you talking about? Wow, this is like when Bart calls Australia You're on the line there, that's great

Alright, let's get our guests in First of all, our first time on the show Please welcome Danielle Walker Hey! You feeling the pressure? First time on a pot, please welcome Danielle Walker. Yay! Hello, everybody. You feeling the pressure? First time on a potty? On our potty?

So much pressure. It's overwhelming. You told me, you turned up to my house and you went, oh, I was listening to a podcast on the way here. And I assume, oh, she's listening to one of ours to kind of get the flavour of what we do. And then you go, yeah, it was really good. Have you ever listened to My Dad Wrote a Porno? It does sound similar to us.

It's a good podcast. It's very funny. Well, my dad is writing a porno. Is he really? My dad has been over the years gradually chipping away at writing a porno. So I feel like those guys got in and stole my thunder. All right, let's bookmark this. Well, also, speaking of writing pornos.

The first time he's never jumped in early. This is quite remarkable. Yeah, I'm being polite. Welcome back into the little dum-dum club, Dave O'Neill. Hey, poofs. How are we? That's my catchphrase. Yeah, my catchphrase.

And I went on the Royal Children's Appeal this year. Did you? Yeah, they asked me to go on. It was during the comedy fest. I'm like, oh, yeah. You're going to be on for an hour with Lawrence Mooney. I thought, well, that'll be good just to see what happens. Joel Creasy, a guy from home in a way I didn't know,

a girl from secret sister I didn't know, and Anthony Collier, who I did know because I've got the prayer on repeat in my car. But anyway, it kept ticking away and we only got 15 minutes. And so Lawrence Mooney just kept throwing a Jennifer Kite who was accepting giant checks from the CFA. But I kept stirring Mooney going, has the Prime Minister turned up yet, Mooney?

Getting him to do his Turnbull impression. But it's a nightmare, that show. No poofs? No good day poofs? No, no good day poofs. But I have been meeting your fans. I did a gig in Banstar, which is three hours drive from Melbourne where we live.

That would have been one of your closer gigs. Yes, yes. Zone 8, not Zone 9. And they actually wanted me to fly down in a small plane because a pie company was sponsoring the bloke's lunch. Yeah, in a small plane. A pie company put up a light aircraft for you to fly to Bedster. Paddy's pies have their own plane.

Really? When I said to the guy, it's not exactly the BHP Learjet, is it? That must come in. Why does a pie company need a fucking, its own plane? I don't know. And I said to the guy, and this was just after a plane had crashed into the DFO. Did Richard Branson take over Paddy's Pies?

How big is the plane? Well, one of my friends went on and said it's not that big and it's quite old. So I think it's like an eight seater. Because if you can only fit 200 kilos of pies on, that's not a huge mission at all. Yeah. Is it more of a family pie plane or a party pie plane? Yeah, more a party pie plane. And that guy said, but Dave, you get to eat pies on the way there.

Oh, now you're talking. To be fair, you can do that on any plane. It's true. I thought that would be good. If we crashed, I'll say, well, he died doing what he loves. We knew it would be the junk food that would kill him. We just didn't realise it was such an obtuse way We had a black box recording

There was a lot of sauce on that Oh no he's dead That's not sauce Why don't they make the whole plate out of pastry Black box recording Mayday Mayday Got any more sauce at the back here So I drove there

I refused to get on the plane With the footballer and a cricketer Now if I can only remember who they were. But they were going on the plane and you didn't. They went on the plane. Yeah, it was like the Heidi and Holly thing. They were on the plane. You got cut off before.

You were saying this was just after that plane had crashed in a DFL. Yeah, so I was a bit worried about small planes. Oh, there'd been an incident, right? Yeah, there'd been an incident. You're worried that if you go on, it's going to be a bit less Big Bopper and a bit more Big Boomba. Yeah, exactly. Oh, I'm laughing at fat jokes.

Anyway, everyone. So the planes, so is it decked out? Like has it got like a big decal on the side? My friend Des Dowling is a comedian. He did the same gig last year and said it's not Flash. It's not. Yeah. No, it's just like.

Well, it's not even one of the more famous pies. Like, you know, if it was a 4 and 20 pie, you'd expect something. But for Paddy's pies, you'd sort of expect maybe a go-kart with wings. Yeah, if these guys have a plane, what are 4 and 20 getting around in? I know. But anyway, so I drove there. And I was obviously riding light. So they didn't have a Paddy's pie car?

No, no, I just drove there. I don't mind driving. That's great. We can get you to the gig as long as it's by air. Any other method, nah. Do you think they bought it like a while ago because it's quite old and they were like, nah, flying's the future. Nobody's going to be driving cars soon.

Because you said the plane's quite run down. They bought it in the infancy of the company going, I mean, this company is just going to go up and up and up. In 10 years' time, this will have its own DJ on board the plane. It'll be covered in crystals. Kanye West will be on here. Awesome. So I drove there and I was running late.

It's a big hall in Bansal and they're all mainly blokes, some women, the big blokes lunch. And this guy just grabs me, big guy, and he goes. Sweet edit there. That wasn't my fault, by the way. Sometimes people hit me up and go Oh great edit job You know the way you've cut around

It's just like no Some people just talk like fucking idiots And make it sound like they've been edited He was a larger gentleman And he grabbed me and he went like this Hey mate And I went yeah hey mate And I went to walk off

And he just grabbed me and he goes No hey mate And I'm like Oh the dum-dum club And I said well you know My catchphrase is hey puss You I'm like, oh, the Dum Dum Club. And I said, well, you know my catchphrase is, hey, puss, you know that. He goes, oh, I didn't want to say that in front of mixed company. I love that it's like, oh, you'll recognise this, hey mate,

because we're the only people in the world to say hey mate. We trademarked it. You did say it. And then I was at my dad's. It's like going up and saying hello and it's like, yes. Like, no, it's a reference to Lionel Richie. Get it? You fucking idiot. I interviewed Lionel richie once oh yeah lionel richie and um we asked him what it's like to have number one hits and he goes you know you know i always wanted to get to the top boys and when i got to the top you know what's at the top i go no we don't know we've never been to

the top has anyone here been to the top any of you guys ever been to the top? He goes, there's nothing there. There's nothing at the top, apparently. I've been to the top and there's nothing there. Anyway. Isn't that what they say when you're dying? When you go to the end of the line, it's like there's nothing there. It's like, no, when you make a number one single, you've got a lot of money.

There's something there. There is something there. That's right. There is something there. Apparently there's nothing there, according to Lionel. Anyway, so then I went to my dad's house and I was getting a photograph taken for the newspaper.

Dad's still got his 982 Commodore station wagon, which is remarkable. And I said, did I ever drive that? And he went, no, I didn't let you. So,

which is, anyway, so anyway, and a guy came out and started talking to me and he said, I'm a big dum-dum listener. And I thought, oh, yeah, he'll be the standard unemployed. He wasn't overweight, though, which I was thinking.

He wasn't overweight. That's weird. He wasn't morbidly obese. And he said, yeah, I'm a pilot, and I listen to it on long flights. Right, yeah. We get a lot of that, the odd long flights. Yeah, so he's a pilot and he listens to you guys when he's… This is a Paddy Spice pilot, yeah?

No, it's not. It's a different pilot. So that's Hello Cal, if you're listening, and that's obviously why the Malaysia Airlines flight went down. I don't know how I feel about that. That's news to me that if you're a pilot, you can just kind of plug in and listen to whatever you want. Yeah, Probably can't

Pay attention up there I think yeah They have a break maybe And then they There's two of them isn't there There's only two of them Oh right So they have a little bit of a break

So one of them can just sit In the passenger seat And just Not have to worry about it Isn't there a bed Where they lie down On the roof Yeah but not at the front is there

You can't lie down at the front can you I don't know There's not enough room I don't know I wasn't involved in 9-11. I didn't crash through the cockpit. Why have you got to... Where's Muhammad Atta

when he was... Why'd you learn his name? I'm quite interested in that kind of stuff. In 9-11? Yeah. Why? I'm not a conspiracy theorist. I believe those guys did it, but it's interesting I reckon what they did. I mean, it's obviouslyist I believe those guys did it But I'm just It's interesting I reckon what they did

I mean it's obviously very bad But I sent it to a guy Yeah I sent it to a guy At a gig And he was You know you go to these gigs And anyway I was telling him Hang on

You were doing a gig For the World Trade Center And they sent a plane for you And you said no thanks I'll drive I was doing a gig for the For banking or something like that. And I was talking to this guy and he was telling me how,

I was telling him how my dad was a helicopter mechanic in the Vietnam War and all this stuff. And he goes, yeah, I fly helicopters and stuff. And then he started showing me photos. He went to the helicopter museum in America. And then he had these photos of him at the Pentagon Memorial where the 9-11 plane crashed. And I said, oh, did you go to Ground Zero? He went, nah went nah he goes because i was at ground zero when it happened oh yeah so then he

told me this amazing story where he was meant to have breakfast in the world trade center that morning but he got up he didn't feel that well so he said i'll look we'll cancel breakfast we'll have lunch and so he just and then he had to go to the building next door to 9-11 when it happened yeah and so he said he was sitting there with his boss and he saw the plane turn left and go into the buildings. So you always hear those stories where it's like, oh, I was going to go to Twin Towers that day, but then I decided, oh, no, I'll bend over and tie up my shoelaces instead or whatever.

Because you can only do one of it in the morning. You never hear the horrible other ones where it's like, oh, I always hated the Twin Towers. And one day on September 11, I decided, fuck it, I'll give it a go. Well, there's a pretty good reason why you don't hear that story. Anyway, enough happy topics. Well, speaking of fans and stuff like that,

I just did a gig last night. Well, we don't really plug this regularly but Tommy and I, we run regular comedy gigs. I do the Thursday Comedy Club at the European Beer Cafe on a Thursday night. Tommy does the Catfish Comedy on a Tuesday night, both in Melbourne. I do, now I do on the Saturday,

I do Basement Comedy Club downstairs at the European Beer Cafe. You know, Catfish was weird because when I was approached, I thought it was a young woman, but when I got there, it was Tommy Tasselot. They're all good gigs though. I wish you hadn't have opened my gig with that the last time you did it. You should have done that joke. What was the point of that joke?

So last night I was at the Basement Comedy Club and there was a bunch of listeners that came in and I feel like they were interstate travellers and so I hadn't met them before. So they came in and were like, oh, wow, I didn't know you were going to be here. Hi, my name's this, whatever. And one of them did come in and open with, oh, hey, listen to the podcast.

It stopped me from killing myself last year. It's like first sentence. Wow. Bold move, first sentence. So I was like, oh, well, that's no good, man. I mean, it is good that you didn't do it, but that's, you know. You're like, yeah, anyway, it's 20 bucks. Sit near the front if you can.

Yeah, but then it's interesting to see what I come up with when I'm on the back foot like that because, like, the next thing I said was also like, oh, well, you're in the basement here, which is good. You can't jump off anything now, can you? And he just looked at me and went, oh, wow. Fucking hell. Well, oh, wow. Fucking hell. Well, it's good.

I think podcast people get a real connection with the people on it. Yeah. They listen to it all the time because they're quite long form, aren't they? Yeah. I think we talked about this. We did those two gigs in Brisbane recently. Yeah. And we didn't have long to stick around after the gig.

But the short window of time we did have where we were talking to listeners, I think nearly everyone we spoke to told us that they love that we talk about suicide so much because someone connected to them has killed themselves yeah and so now they love listening to it yeah those were the only in half an hour yeah those were the only interactions we had it's never you guys are funny yeah i know you and me were sitting in the cab going to the airport going, what the fuck just happened? That's really interesting. What is this weird focus group that we've set up? Yeah.

Yeah. I guess, well, I guess it's our brand now. I guess. Nothing we can do about it. Yeah. You don't choose your brand. Your brand chooses you. Yeah.

New t-shirts. I can see them now. Yeah. When people think of this podcast, they think of suicide. So fair enough. Let's get off this. Danielle. now. Yeah. When people think of this podcast, they think of suicide. So fair enough. Let's get off this. Danielle. Danielle, yeah.

Danielle, you're from Townsville originally in Queensland. Yeah. Which I'm a little bit fascinated by because that was my first big holiday when I was a kid, when I was a little kid. Why? Well, good question. Magnetic Island? Isn't Magnetic Island?

No, Townsville. There's nothing there. Well, I didn't know that and I was driving. I was in, I think, grade three, I think, and my parents went, and this goes back to you, Dave, we drove the 1982 Holden Vacation of Station Wagon. Oh, that's where my dad's gone. Yeah, to Queensland.

Wow. And so mum and dad went, we're going to go to Dreamworld, we're going to go to whatever.. We're going to go to whatever. So you went through the Gold Coast or did they think everything was in town? No. The actual goal was to drive to Cairns. Oh. So we were going to Cairns but then we had a two-week holiday.

I think they got two weeks off from work and it was in the school holidays. Because you told me this before you went to Thailand with your parents. They'd never been overseas. No. And like once a year they would just – Never been on a plane. Yeah, they would just get in a car and just – that was their holiday. They'd get in a car and they'd just drive.

Every year. Never been on a plane. That's interesting. When Andrew Denton started radio on Triple M in the 80s, he asked what was his audience and the guy at Triple M goes, never been on a plane, mate. Oh. Because planes were so expensive in the 80s.

Yeah, sure. Never been on a plane. Yeah, that's fair. I'm sure they've all been on planes now. Yeah, yeah. Now with Jetstar. Yeah, for sure. So we went to – the goal was we got two weeks.

We were going to go to Cairns. I don't know why. My dad always had weird things. A lot of my childhood was spent every weekend. He had these fixations on stamp collecting at one stage. That dropped off. But then bottle collecting. Cool fun, Dad.

He collected bottles. So I'd get dragged out into these stupid fairs like wherever or him digging bottles out of the ground like old school bottles. But, I mean, this will be your kids one day. Dad's always fucking dragging me to get mousse and we have to go to Thailand every year. We've got one of these open mics. All these idiots think they're funny.

What did you do in Townsville? Because there's not much to do in Townsville now when you're a kid like 50 years ago. Way less. This gal gets it. Did they cover this on My Dad Wrote a Porno? My 70-year-old dad wrote a porno. Yeah, it was in black and white.

So we drove to Townsville, but the goal was to go to Cairns. But so I don't know how it works. How long does it take to drive to Townsville? If you're going to drive there now. What, from Melbourne? Yeah. Oh, I don't know, but it's like 36 to Brisbane or something from Townsville. Yeah, so from Maryborough to Brisbane would be –

because my dad used to drive to Queensland, so that would be like two days. Two full days, yeah. Two full days to Brisbane would be – because my dad used to drive to Queensland, so that would be like two days. Two full days, yeah. Two full days to Brisbane. Yeah. And then another day to Townsville. Yeah, and it's a big day. We'd get up at like 5.30 – if we were going to drive to Brisbane,

we'd get up at like 5.30 to leave and we'd get to Rockhampton and stay the night in Rockhampton and then continue to Brisbane the next day. Right. And Cairns isn't that – it's like another day. Yeah, it's another four hours to Cairns. Yeah, so this was the goal So we spent two weeks So it's a week up and a week back basically

So what we did was We went up and it was just And it was two kids in the car So it's me in grade three And my brother in grade one or something So And you've got to stop for lunch You've got to stop for dinner

And all that sort of stuff So I think Basically it took us the week To drive to Townsville And then dad went Yeah we're not going to make it to Cairns, are we? So we spent the day in Townsville and then turned around and came back. Oh, that is anticlimactic. Yeah, we had one day in Townsville and that was it.

And all the way up was just us driving from dusk till dawn. Yeah. And just two kids in the back going, oh, God. And us just driving until, because Dad had this little book, like a flag in. Does a flag in still exist? A flag in range of hotels? I don't think so.

I don't think it exists either. Yeah. But he had one of those, like, buy seven hotel rooms, get one free. So we'd be just driving in the middle of the night until we found one of them so we could get the coupons. Got a coupon. Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

So we did that. We drove all the way to Townsville and then we had the one day and all I remember from it is that I was obsessed with Mad Magazine back then. So I was like, all right, we're all the way up here. Let's go to a secondhand bookshop or whatever.

And we went in and I wanted to buy old Mad Magazines because I was obsessed and the guy was like, to buy mad old mad magazines because i was obsessed and the guy was like you can't just buy them you've got to exchange them for other old mad magazines i'm like i don't know if i know i'm i know i'm like seven years old but i'm not sure you know how to run a shop really yeah yeah so then he goes and because i'm seven or whatever he goes all right i'll do your deal i'll let you rent the Mad Magazine. Oh, my God. Yeah.

And so then I actually. This is in Townsville. Yes. Right. So then I actually paid money to borrow Mad Magazines off this old shop. But did you just keep it? No, because I wasn't that clever. I'm thinking, oh, this guy will get me if I don't bring it.

It's just like a library. Yeah. But like a really bad one. So we went back to the hotel, back to the flag inn, and I just read them quickly. And then it like a library, but like a really bad one. So we went back to the hotel, back to the flag inn, and I just read them quickly. And then it's like, oh, these are due back tomorrow. Do you remember who they lampooned? Who'd you get? I don't know. I don't know.

The lighter side of? Yeah, they're old 70s ones. The lighter side of shit family holidays that don't pan out how they're meant to. Spy versus spy, always disappointing. But then I went back the next day, went back to return them. And the guy goes, oh, yeah, look, if you give me a bit more money, you can keep those ones. What is going on here? And that's when I'm like, nah, fuck this.

I'm like, no, if I'm going to buy them, I'll have other ones that I haven't read yet. And he's like, oh, all right, all right. Here's some cracked. Have the cracked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I don't know if that bookshop still, I don't know if you know the folklore of.

Do you think it was like he didn't really know how know if that bookshop still I don't know if you know the folklore Do you think it was like his He didn't really know how to run the bookshop And then he told his wife what he'd done And she was like Why did you do that? Tomorrow when he comes back Give him the books And he was like

Nah I'm going to make some cash I think maybe it was like Townsville A bit like Maribor Where any out of towner It's like let's either bash them Or fleece them Or scam them Yeah

I'm just trying to work out what it would have been about you because there's no way that's how it normally operates. No. So he's seen something. I was a little kid. But he must have seen something in you where he's gone, here we go. I can take this kid for a ride. I would have, my, yeah.

Were you raining money? Were you, you know? No, I would have been so desperate. I would have been just like, I would have seen Mad Magazine and gone, oh, my God, Dad, look at this. Look, Mum, look at all.. I would have been just like, I would have seen Mad Magazine and gone, oh my God, Dad, look at this. Look, Mum,

look at all. And he would have gone, here we go. Can I ask, and maybe this is, you know, an obvious question or whatever, but so your parents plan

this drive to Cairns and they've got two weeks. They've got a limited window. So even if you do make it there, you're going to get eight hours on the ground before you turn around and come home.

Yeah. Was there not an option of going somewhere half the distance perhaps? Well, maybe back then because this is like ages ago. And you don't have the internet to sort of go Google Maps, how long is this going to take or whatever. So maybe they sort of thought, oh, we'll get up there in three days or whatever and we can have four days, five days up there, whatever. But it was just go up and turn around and come back. I don't think not having the internet is an excuse for underestimating the distance that it's going to take to drive across the other side of the country. I think it's exactly the excuse.

Totally. It's interesting because my dad would plan his holidays, maybe because he was in the military, like with that precision. So there's no way he would not have planned it. But back then, how do you find out how long it takes to drive to Cairns? I reckon like in the map, you know how how you've got the thing that tells you. Oh, the little scale. Yeah, how big it is, like how many kilometres that much is

and they could have just like measured it up and been like, that'll take around this time. Your dad was just like, I don't know. Do you think before the internet, people just had no idea how long anything took? That's what happened to Burke and Wills. I assume normal dudes would ask someone at work. They'd know someone who was on the trip. Burke and Wills, if normal dudes would ask someone at work They'd know someone Yeah yeah yeah Burke and Wills

If they had the internet If they had Google Maps They'd still be with us today They would There'd be no statue So what did I I'm not there with Vodafone mate No fucking reception

They'd be fucked What did I miss out on in Townsville Yeah Oh It's not like there's anything that you That's specifically Townsville Like we've got Billabong Sanctuary, which is just some kangaroos and stuff. Yeah.

And there's some beaches. Well, to be fair, that's better than the second-hand bookshop that I went to. How much do they charge you to rent a look at the kangaroos? I don't know. I haven't been in years because it's so decrepit. Right. But it probably was at the height of its day back when you were there. Oh, it would have been.

I love that rock formation. Is that a volcano? You know, it's sort of in the it would have been. I love that rock formation. Is that a volcano? You know, it's sort of in the middle of the town. There's that massive rock. It's built around a volcano, isn't it? I don't think that is there anymore. What? Do you mean like along the strand in the city, like along the beach,

there's sort of that thing there? Yeah. It's not there. They got rid of it. I don't know. Maybe it's there. What about the great comedian King Billy Coke Bottle? Is he from Townsville?

I didn't know that. There's another guy who does the thing you were referencing before. King Billy Coke Bottle. Before we start, I said I've got to ask you about a white guy who blacks up as an Aboriginal. Now, I don't know his full story. No wonder your parents wanted to go there. All I know of him is he is a boy. I'm going to show you some culture.

All I know of him is that you used to be able to buy cassettes of him. Yes, in service stations. In truck stops and stuff like that. That's right. Yeah, he's definitely talented. I read an article about him and his wife, he says, oh, my wife's Aboriginal. So it's fine.

There were photos of him in the Good Weekend magazine doing stand-up and like Aboriginals laughing and him and his wife and he blacks up. Oh, no. Is he still going? I don't know, but he was quite old in that article. Isn't that the worst form of racism? Like, him blacking up and then making sure that there's Aboriginal people in the photo laughing and, see, they love it.

So, just chill out, everyone. It's fine. He was going to do a gig at Crown Casino, but then it got cancelled because of all the protests and stuff. Oh, wow. Yeah. So you're not aware of King Billy? I wasn't aware of him, but there is a younger comic

who has painted himself and made videos for online. Ah, Prince Billy Coke Bottle. That's his son. I can show you. Oh, yeah, he's from Townsville, is he? Yeah, that dude. But when Billy dies, he becomes king. Takes his rightful place on the Coke bottle throne.

Is there a queen, Billy Coke bottle? No, I know there's, oh, maybe me. Or is there a princess Coke bottle that tried to go through the tunnel and had an unfortunate accident? Oh, good Lord. What's great about this is if we just keep bringing up fucked people that we've heard about from Townsville, eventually we're going to zero in on someone in Danielle's family.

I can just feel it. Probably. Chris Franklin? Was Chris Franklin there when you started? He wasn't there when I started, but I did like a radio interview. There's a guy who used to be his housemate who does radio up there. So for Chris Franklin, the bloke. Yeah, and for him, Chris Franklin is his claim to fame

It's like the person he's friends with who's known very well Wow And so every time you go in to do an interview He just brings Chris Franklin up and sometimes calls him on the phone To get him on air with you And you're like, I've never met Chris My first time we did it with Chris on air I was like, I've never met Chris

Why is he on the show? And then he's very proud of the fact that he Chris was sober for a few years I've never met Chris. Why is he on the show? And then he's very proud of the fact that he, like, Chris was sober for a few years and he was very proud of the fact that he made him drink again. Wow. And I'm like, he's just joking around. I'm like, oh, you might have probably had a bad effect.

And he's like, nah, it's all fun. Bit of piss. Imagine being so sad to cling onto someone like that. Dave, how's Eric Banner going? Have you had a good time? I'm having dinner with him soon. Have you made him drink again yet? No, no, no.

No, I'm convincing him to do Point of the Movie. So, no, I'm seeing him soon, actually. Get him on this. I'll talk about it. Yeah, I'll ask him. I don't know if he's heard the podcast. I have no idea. Well, I'm pretty sure he hasn't.

I can take a punt, yeah. But he'll only do something if he's heard the podcast. I've no idea. Well, I'm pretty sure he hasn't. I can take a punt. Yeah. But he'll only do something if he's promoting something. So I assume he's got a movie coming out. I don't know. You just don't know. You ask him. Get us along to this dinner.

What's going on? And he goes, oh, just doing stuff. We'll just go undercover. We'll go in as waiters and just be very funny with the bread rolls and then we'll just put the bread rolls, make the bread rolls into fortune cookies and have like a little message and he breaks them over and he goes, oh, Little Dum Dum Club, the most popular podcast in the country.

And then you'll see that and go, I've been on that. Those guys are great. Oh, my God, they're working here. Must be going well. So, Daniel, you moved down here from Townsville a couple of years ago. What were you doing – what's the comedy scene like in Townsville? Is there one? There's like a gig once a month.

Well, there was a gig once a month. And then you just do other gigs that you could get that weren't really comedy. Yeah, like 21st or... I opened for a comedy hypnotist once. Not the Amazing Gazart. No. I bet Dave knows all of them Go through the list of all of them currently working

Do you know Dizzy? The comedy hypnotist Dizzy? No, I don't know Dizzy That's a great name for a hypnotist Really spells it out I went on Midday once years ago They used to have comics on Midday Midday with Ray Martin?

Yeah, but no Derren Hinch was hosting when I went on He hosted for a year or two years And anyway I was on with one of those hypnotists and there were all these dudes in the green room and I'm just like, and I could tell they were like average sort of punters.

And I go, well, what's your story? And the guy goes, oh, I'm here with the hypnotist. Like, oh, are you his friend? He goes, no, I just respond well to his. The next thing I know, these guys in the audience pretend to be a chicken. They were like stooges. He brought his own people along.

That's great. Doing that to do comedy as well. Yeah, we should do that. Yeah, and I respond well to his material. Well, in the old days, he'd bring Doolrock along because he used to laugh a lot. Dizzy did not have people in the crowd who he'd brought along to respond well because nobody responded well.

Oh, really? And you could see the pain in his eyes because he was at the top of this nightclub and you could just hear the music from downstairs and he'd just been like, and you'll fall asleep now. In a nightclub? Yeah, and just nobody falling asleep. No one's going for it. Nobody's going for it and Nobody's going for it.

And everybody's sort of sitting there quietly going, I wish the comics would come back and we were on our third gig. We were terrible. That was saying a lot. I've never thought about that. Like you bomb as a comedian or you're in a band and people aren't into the songs. But bombing is a hypnotist.

And now you're a chicken. No, I'm not. Oh, fuck. How do they start? The person that you're trying to hypnotise. Like now when I click my And now you're a chicken. No, I'm not. Oh, fuck. How do they start? The person that you're trying to hypnotise. And now when I click my fingers, you're a chicken. Boo. The person you're hypnotising is booing you.

Because you can't just go, not my crowd. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm supposed to work on a lot of people. They're not like a savvy hypnotism crowd. They don't really get it. They were here last week. They heard it last week. They know it.

So what other gigs did you do then? I did a Christmas party for a real estate company. Oh, how'd that go? And they had like a large ballroom that they'd rented out. Oh, no. And I got like a microphone that was attached to a wheelie speaker. Oh, yeah. And I got to walk into the room and like I'm not that tall

and then I sort of stood there and a crowd of real estate agents made a circle around me and then I did ten minutes of jokes to just polite. At least they were polite. They were in a circle around you. So did you have to do that sort of thing in the round and sort of slightly turn around like a – Yeah, U2 style.

It was like my fourth gig. I'd only done like ten gigs in town before I moved down. So hypnotist gig was third and then you moved straight into this. But did you turn around and have to sort of go in a circle? I didn't do that. I just stood. I was like, if they want to see the front of me, they can move. Fair enough.

They can pay for the good seats. Yeah, it's not like... There was like 40 people in the room. They could have... They didn't need to make a circle. Fuck. Are you sure that was comedy or were they just sort of playing Poison Ball or something? That doesn't sound right.

It was real weird. Yeah. There's a lot of gig opportunities up in Townsville by the sea. I'm not moving. Corporate gigs? What else? Any other ones you can remember? If you're getting corporates on your fourth gig, Jesus.

Yeah, exactly. My second gig, I opened for Chris Franklin and Steady Eddie. Yay. Great. And we got put on – it was like me and another guy. How are the talent scouts going at these first gigs when you're just getting plucked after your first gig? God.

We've been gone for years and we haven't done gigs as good as this. I've never even met Chris Franklin And we opened for them And then I don't know why But they did They just had a band

Come on after us For an hour And then after the band Then the comics came out So nobody was even there When we went on Ah right We were just there

For like six people Like I think the The people who'd organised The gig in Townsville were just trying to give us stage time. Yeah. Oh, that's nice. Well, I mean, you could have given it to us after the band

so that there were people there. Yeah, exactly. But it's fine. We'll just come on cold. Well, you know what? They do things different up there. They rent out Mad Magazine and put people on before anyone's there. I apologise if this is a gross thing to ask,

but that real estate thing, for example, are you being paid well for that? I got paid more than most gigs in Melbourne. Right, okay. Sure. Good. Great. How much?

It was $250 for ten minutes for my fourth gig, so I was very happy with it. Yeah, corporate on your fourth gig. That's insane. So what – I mean, this all sounds great. What about this made you go, I've got to get out of here? A comic from Sydney came up and did a gig with me and then he organised a bunch of gigs for me to do in Sydney.

Who was that? Downtown's. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, he's a great guy, Daniel Towns, yeah. And then I went down there and I saw some comedy that I was like, oh, this thing's quite good. He's not blacking up. I don't get what's going on.

How are they going to laugh if he's not blacked up? What are they doing down here? He's not a hypnotist. Am I supposed to black my eyes up or how does this work? When's the band come in? And also I wasn't very good in Sydney and in Townsville like after my first gig. I was like, I am the best person at comedy that's ever existed.

Yeah, right, right. Yeah, you're on real estate money. Yeah. I wrote a joke and I read the joke and I did the joke on stage and it went really well. And then I went home and I sat down and I got really depressed because I was like, I don't think anybody is ever going to write anything as funny as that.

Wow. And now let's hear the joke. I think I've done it. Yeah. Can you tell us the joke? My career, it was, I don't know, did you ever see that story about the camel when I ride the camel to Climax? That's enough.

I think that's enough. No good. So you're looking at that. I actually haven't heard you tell that joke. I just read about it in the Guinness Book of Records. That's all. I saw King Billy do it one night. Had a different take on it.

But then you won Raw, didn't you? Yeah, so it's all right now. Did you enter in Queensland? It's Raw Comedy, so that's the national comedy competition in Australia. We should explain, yes, you're right. Yeah, I did it in Victoria. I did it since I moved down here, so that was nice because everybody says Victoria's like one of the hard ones.

Well, there's so many comics down in Victoria where we are now. Yeah, there's so many. Yeah, does Raw do a heat? Where's the nearest Raw heat from Townsville hard ones. Well, there's so many comics down in Victoria where we are now. Yeah, there's so many. Yeah, does Raw do a heat? Where's the nearest Raw heat from Townsville? Brisbane. Okay, right. We're going to try and sort one out up there but we'll see. Oh, yeah.

So have you gone back and done – have you come back as the hometown hero? No. And done the camel joke again just for the old fans? I'd love to do that. Anyone remember this? No? All right, well. What if that was a rule where the place that you start doing comedy,

you're allowed to move away and get better, but then every time you come back, you just have to do the same set that you were doing when you left the town. So you've got your new skills and you're going to do it a bit better, but you have to word for word do all your same material. Here's the test. Townsville, right?

So, Dave O'Neill, what's the high school, what's the nightclub in Townsville? I don't know. I don't know if I've done Townsville. What? There's a town in Australia that you haven't done. A bloody plumber's party or an architect's crystal. To give it context, this is Dave O'Neill's skill when he does crowd work. Yeah, nightclubs and schools.

Ask people where they're from, what school you went to. Suburbs and what the suburb means. And huge judgment about where they grew up. Oh, exactly. I'm dealing in stereotypes. My best gig ever was for real estate agency at Crown Casino and they all had their suburb on their table that they represented. Oh, you would have been in heaven.

Half an hour gone like that. Fitzroy, you know the hipsters down the front here? Cutting gear too. So you guys go to Crown Casino? I bet you go to Heat Nightclub? Gotcha, yes. No, I don't know if I've done. I did Mackay and went to the Blue Moose Nightclub.

I remember that. Oh, yeah. But Townsville is... I remember we stayed at the Flag Inn at Mackay. Oh, did you? Mackay. Yeah, stayed at Mackay. But I don't know if I've actually done Townsville. Help Dave out next time there's someone in the crowd from Townsville is I remember we stayed At the flag inn At Mackay Oh did you have Mackay Yeah Stayed at Mackay But I don't know

If I've actually done Townsville Help Dave out Next time there's someone In the crowd from Townsville What's the nightclub What's the nightclub there There's the mad cow Or bullwinkles

Oh yeah Love it Wait Are they two separate places Yeah We got a few nightclubs Fuck yeah Bullwinkles

People call it bullies But saying bullwinkles Is way funny So is there some sort of rule That all the nightclubs have to sound like cattle, fat animals? I don't know. The mad cow is legitimately painted white with black splodges all over it.

I love it. That's cool. That never gets old, so that'll be good. Just to get that name over the line for anyone who doesn't quite get it when they're looking at it from the outside. I love a country nightclub name. I love it. I was in Port Hedland once.

There was a nightclub called Chances. Oh, great. Checkers in Wollongong, which is on top of a Safeway. Oh, really? Yeah, Safeway Car Park, there was a nightclub on top of it. Great. Yeah, Checkers. So Chances, Chances, was that because of the old TV show?

No, I don't reckon. I reckon it was just called Chance. Take your chance at Chances was their slogan. I don't know what's better. The old TV show? No, I reckon it was just called Take Your Chance. Oh, right. Okay. What's their slogan? I don't know what's better, chances as in just not referring to anything or chances named after the TV show, which was a terrible show that happened to have a lot of topless women on it.

Yeah, in the 80s. Yeah. Kay Lanebrook was on it. She was topless. She was topless. Obviously, she showed me the footage. It's pretty impressive, I have to say. Anyway, come

on. Long time ago. So Townsville, what else? Now, this is what I'm obsessed with because I'm

from a small country town, I'm from Maryborough, which is no Townsville. What's your population in

Townsville? It's pretty big, it's like 190,000. Bang. Well, that's worth driving from Maryborough too, for a week.

The big smoke. Maryborough, 50 or something like that? No, 8. 8,000. Oh, wow. Yeah, only 8,000. Not even a secondhand bookshop.

My mother-in-law just went to Maryborough and said the railway station is not as good as it used to be. I mean, it has got. I mean, we all know the railway station. That's because there's no fucking trains going through it for starters. So it's not quite as effective as it used to be. I did a gig in Maryborough and it is the most impressive railway station

that you've ever seen. Very much so. And I've told this before, but the rumour is that it was an accident. That they sent it to the wrong Maryborough. For Maryborough, Queensland. It's a Maryborough, Queensland. Because there's no need for our town

to basically have a train station bigger than most of the rest of the town. It looks amazing. You're driving along and you say, what the hell is that building? Yeah, it's very impressive. And of course Mark Twain famously said. Yes, it's a train station with a town attached. Yeah.

So there's a lot of stuff going on up at the train station except for trains. There's cafes, there's gift shops, there's antique shops, there's a lot of stuff, big platforms, no trains. Yeah. No, it's just buses. For some reason, even though we've got the most impressive train station we just deal with buses that's no good you need trains it's almost like mirror bar is no good but um so what we do do well is crazy people so you got you got

crazy we've got margaret right um margaret is on the well she used to be on the Townsville City Council website. Right. Because she just like walks around the mall and like dances to whatever music's playing and she wears like floral dresses and sort of dances like she's water. So she was. She just moves. She's very good at moving. Liturgical dancing.

Yeah, I don't know. But once we were in a. So she's on the website because she's mayor or what? No, because everybody knows Margaret. Just Margaret. Everybody knows Margaret, the don't know. But once we were in a – So she's on the website because she's mayor or what? No, because everybody knows Margaret. Just Margaret. Everybody knows Margaret, the lady who – She's at the railway station. They've got Margaret.

Right. So she's so well-known that the council have gone, we've got to give her a shout-out on the website. Yeah, right. And once we – Is that when – if you go to Townsville, it's like when you come to Melbourne, you go, what's on in Melbourne? If you go, what's on in Townsville?

Margaret. Margaret's around. You'll see her. We were once – me and my friend were in McDonald's when we were like teenagers and Margaret walked in with clearly just some flowers that she'd pulled out of the McDonald's car park because they had weeds and soil attached. And she went up to the counter and asked for a cup full of water so she could put her flowers in the table. And she just walked out and I was like, I love you, Margaret.

Yeah, great. Margaret would be pissed off that you're getting the support and the gig at the corporate at the real estate company. After your first gig. She's been dancing for years and not getting shit. So many years. Oh, man. Maybe that's where the dancing comes from.

Maybe that hypnotist actually is good. He's like, when I snap my fingers, you will be water. And she's getting the cup of water. She's trying to break out. She's trying to give you a sign help me the hypnotist gets

fired mid gig he never gets to click the finger and wake her back up yeah like office space he croaks it and she's just trapped yeah

well see that's the difference Margaret there's no nickname involving if Margaret was in Maribor it should be called

mad Margaret yeah yeah or fucking Danielle Dancer or something like that. There'd be some sort of Moving Margaret. Is that the difference?

It's like it's too hot up there so it's like too hot to think of nicknames. The heat does affect people. Do you reckon? Yeah. I don't like the heat. No.

It's so horrible. You can't walk down the street. It's so hot. Nobody looks good. No wonder she's trying to turn into water. Yeah. I just want to be cool.

I drink myself. Everybody up there gets like fake tans though because everybody's into the gym and fake tans because there's not too much to do. And so you can just see people sweating off their tan down the street which is like the most disgusting thing to see. Are they still, because like fake tanning isn't going, because I was discussing this with someone

the other day. Did solariums all get like shut down? Yeah, really. You remember there was like a big solarium boom about 10 or so years ago and then it sort of started to be like, these literally give you cancer. Yeah, someone sued them. Someone sued them. Right.

And you don't really see any flatbeds going around anymore. No. I saw people were buying them off the internet when they found that they were going to be cancer. I was like, I don't know if that's right. Yeah. We better get them now or we're going to have to smoke to get cancer. When I went to Townsville, I can't remember why we went there,

but there was a big army presence, isn't there? The AJs, the army jerks, they call them. Yeah, we got loads of them around. Yeah, so were they a factor growing up, the army boys? Not really. I didn't really live in the city. Oh, okay. So I was more just like, I'm just going to ride my motorbike and try and –

Were you on a farm or something? No, we just lived on acreage and I just had like – I was just more – I was always in the backyard. You didn't do any corporates for the army on your fifth gig or anything like that? That would have probably been my crowd. I've done corporates for the army. Oh, my God. I went to this army base in the western suburbs of Sydney and –

What's the nightclub? I don't know. What What's the nightclub? I don't know. What is the army nightclub? Anyway, the guy comes up, like the captain running it or whatever. You're quite senior. And he starts hanging shit on my haircut. He goes, oh, I like your little fringe. Your little fringe you've got going on there.

I'm like, what's going on here? And I go to him. He goes, so these are all commandos or something. I've come over all Nick Cody with me army talk. Anyway, these are all commandos or something. I've come over all Nick Cody with me army talk. Anyway, these are all commandos and stuff. And I said, oh, you know, I should talk about my dad because he was in the Air Force. And he goes, Air Force?

Don't fucking mention that. I said, they're just civilians in uniform, mate. All right? Civilians in uniform. So I went, yeah, righty-o. So I went on and I said, my dad, you know, you guys do a great job. My dad was a warrant officer in the military for 30 years

and they all give him a round of applause. Then I just go, in the Air Force. They all start booing. Fuck yeah. Oh, yeah. So you got Margaret. Who else have you got? Oh, that's pretty much it.

Oh, really? That's it? You were talking about the Air Force thing. Last night I did a gig at a football club and we asked if there was any in-jokes with any of the footballers and one of the guys goes, the boss goes, oh, make fun of Bailey, he can't get a fat. But I love that because that's an old...

When you're doing a footy club gig, don't you love that? You go to someone in a position of power and say, what's the inside jokes? You say, what's the inside jokes you know you you say what what's a thing i can reference and they go oh boof over there shit his pants last week so you get up there and go oh that joke went about as well as bullshitting his pants and everyone go hooray but then you often get that thing where it's like oh yeah aj can't get he

can't get a hard dick and then you go up there and say it and then gets nothing because no one knows it apart from that one guy. Well, I said it and they all knew it. Oh, really? The room erupted. They're all like, yeah, you fucking shit cunt. Oh, my God, yeah. So what's going on with Bailey that he's allowed this

to become public domain misinformation? Well, they've recently got a women's AFL team at the same football club and apparently Bailey's gone home with a few of the girls and at no point has he been able to get a fat. Give up, Bailey. Come on, Bailey. After that's happened with two of them, maybe stop trying to pick these girls up.

Also, of course he's going to freak out and not get one. He's like, oh, you've told all your friends and now they all know. And now it's gotten around the women and every woman in that team is like, I'm going to be the one that, you know, I'm going to be the superstar that finally gets like – Bailey's dick. Like the sword of Excalibur. Buy some Viagra, Bailey.

Let's drink juice. Fuck, that's great. So you weren't worried at all that it was – because I would think that's, like you were saying, Carl, that's too much of a risk, like bringing up someone's limp dick. People full on do that. They go, oh, check this out. This guy is known for fucking this.

And then you say it and no one reacts and you find out that the person's told you. Just you go back and go, does everyone know that? And they're like, no, but I knew it. Yeah. Well, then they're not going to laugh if no one knows. She's gone, mate. She's taken the kids and she's never coming back. Woo-hoo-hoo.

Why isn't everyone laughing? Oh, where's he gone? Oh, no. I'm being it. What's that smell? Nah, they all knew. They all knew. They all knew about Bailey.

Yeah, everybody knew about Bailey. Poor Bailey. And did Bailey want to follow up with you after the gig? Like, yeah, yeah, good one, got me. Bailey did not care. He was like, all right, all right, all right. Fuck. It's a different world, isn't it?

It is. I did Sunshine Footy Club. It was somewhere near Sunshine on the outer western suburbs of Melbourne. What's the nightclub? That's an easy one. Come on. You've got to know Sunshine Nightclub. No, I don't know the nightclubs out there.

Anyway, so it was a Sunday lunch gig and the guy's going, oh, last year the president got up and tried to fight the Nelson twins. Because they all just get on the piss, right? And so this guy rings me at 11 o'clock. Like in the morning, he goes, mate, there's already 100 people here and they're on the piss pretty heavy. You better get here now. So I go there.

And by that time, it was midday, there was 150 interesting low blokes, but there was like tables for some of their girlfriends and mums sitting there. Right. And so I just thought, what's the strategy here? And the strategy there is you just hang shit on anyone that you can see. Because they're all standing up except for the mums. And the president comes up, no, the captain of the team introduces himself and he's got a neck brace on.

So I'm like, oh, here we go. And he's a little guy and I just said, and the insult about him was when I was hanging shit on him, I did the old, oh, I didn't know you could get a neck brace from giving a head job in the car park and all this. Yay! Bang!

And anyway, and then someone yelled out, you know the worst thing? His mum still makes his lunch and then the joint just erupted and then the mum and everyone's like yeah yeah and I'm going

your mum still makes your lunch and his mum was there and she stood up and goes I do make his lunch the ultimate insult your mum still makes your lunch yeah good times

so we as we mentioned earlier in the episode we are off to Koh Samui to to Koh Samui. To the Koh Samui, very prestigious.

I'm sure you guys have heard about it and as a young girl you were probably growing up in Townsville thinking one

day I'd like to get the invite to the Koh Samui podcast festival. Who else has been confirmed? Is it WTF going?

Never Not Funny? No, none of those so far. Comedy Bang Bang, they'll be there, won't they?

My dad wrote a porno. Huge rumour, Little Dum Dum Club are performing there, but that's about it at the moment. But we have confirmed guests, Doolook Dyer singer Tom Ballard, Nick Cody. Awesome. But, yeah, so we are doing a podcast in another country,

in a third world country. Now, you guys have both done gigs, obviously, that are way out. Any tips for us? Because we really haven't thought this through enough. Third world, well, you're going to be playing to your fans. Well, hopefully, I'm really intrigued. I'd like the idea of us somehow attracting in people off the street. Yeah, yeah. That would be great.

Just people who don't speak English. Yeah, yeah. I reckon we might really resonate with them. They won't be able to understand what we're saying, which is probably good. But something about kind of the cadence and the tone and everything might sort of, you know. Seriously, you could get quite a few expats that are just there.

Or Aussies that are just there that don't know you, but go, oh, they're comedians. But it's not a big Aussie place. It's more of a Russian tourist place. Oh, good. And they're notorious for laughing. Yeah, they're comedians. But it's not a big, see, it's not a big Aussie place. It's more of a Russian tourist place. Oh, good. And they're notorious for laughing. Yeah, they love it. Yeah.

They'll laugh or stab you. Yeah, carrying concealed weapons. So we're doing live podcasts. We're sort of, you know, tinkering with a few ideas of what to do. But I think the podcast might be a bit much for some of them. But if we do a stand-up show, I mean, then that becomes a bit more universal, that we can get in tourists, we can get in,

my dream is to have like the truck that goes by, you know, in Thailand, generally there'll be a truck with a loudspeaker going, fight tonight, tonight, fight, and it's like some kickboxing thing or whatever it is.

I would love for there to be a truck that goes by going, stand up, comedy tonight. That would be good. So, yeah, with stand up it's a bit easier because we can tailor our material to the clientele that's there. Where in the actual resort or hotel are you doing the gigs? Outdoors. Well, at the moment the resort have come back and they want us to do one

that we're doing at least one of the podcasts at the resort. We're looking at other locations for other stuff. But I'm starting to worry about the insurance on that. But anyway. Where? In the hotel? Is there a room or like a function room? There's a conference centre.

There's a conference centre at the resort. But they want us to do it outside next to the pool. I don't know. I'm not sure why. Fuck. Again, get Guinness on the phone because we could be the world record first horsey ever done mid-live podcast. Oh.

Yeah. I mean, we've done a lot of crowd surfing in our live podcast. This is a new thing, just doing a bomb in the middle of life. Genuine surfing. Yeah. I assume it'll be nice weather. It's always nice weather. We're in the equator.

No, Dave. We're going over there when it's shithouse weather. No, but, I mean, over there. It's always nice weather. We're in the equator. No, Dave, we're going over there when it's shithouse weather. No, but, I mean, over there... It's like monsoon season and stuff. Yeah, there is bad...

There is rain seasons which we are not going in. Rain seasons are more like September, October, November, that sort of thing. But there's always the case of like in Thailand, there'll be an hour

during the day. There'll be like three o'clock till four o'clock, it'll rain for an hour or half an hour and then it'll be gone. Yeah. So as long as we don't do it at three o'clock. Yeah.

It generally doesn't rain at night like that. But yeah, outside, the worry I've got is that, you know, it's a big resort. There's other people staying there. There's the Russians. There's all the rest of them. Are they going to have a little roof over the outside area or a pergola or something?

I can't see why that's in any way necessary. No, I don't believe that that will be the case. This will still be a better run than some gigs in Melbourne, I have to say. How many punters are going? Do you know? How many members of the public are going to turn up so far? I believe by the time it all happens, because we've still got some time to go, there's still some people signing up and all that stuff.

I believe we'll be touching 100 oh fantastic well you just grab all them get some plastic chairs and uh yeah get a sort of a stage and you'll be fine and the russians will just go well that's obviously some sort of corporate team building thing with obese people do a rock and roll walk on i'll go yeah okay, okay. Nick Cody? Well, Nick Cody's obviously the commando type fitness trainer dude who's turned up to fire him up. He's the one that everyone will walk past and go, oh, this is Australian. These guys are Australian.

Yeah, they're Australian. Yeah. Yeah. Well, let me ask you about this, Danielle, because we were just asking before about going back home to do gigs. We saw you when we were in Brisbane doing our podcasts last month. You were there doing some shows. And did you have your – it was a real family affair.

The whole Walker clan came down from Townsville. Yeah, so many came. Yeah. My dad invited everybody and he came down from Townsville. And I thought maybe my cousins and my auntie and uncle might come. So I thought maybe like eight or nine people would come and he'd organised a family dinner which started at 4pm and it was across the road from our show which started at 8.30

so they could all drink and then I get there and there's 40 people there. Right. Like 40 family members have come from like Mackay, Maroochydore, like all this and then Dad's trying to make me take photos in front of like the Brisbane Comedy Festival sign. And like there's like these like weird cubes on the ground that have the logo and dad's like, lie down on it.

Get a photo. But then the night that we did it in the background, there's like a Daniel Morecambe fundraiser happening. So it's just me like smiling and giving the thumbs up and in the background it's just like, remember that kid who got abducted and murdered? He's there. Lie down on the ground in front of it.

And then they all try and get photos and I went in for the gig and Dad's trying to take photos with like 40 of them in the background. They're like, you get in. Now you get in. Now get out. Now you get in. Oh, my God. Trying to take photos and still in the background.

It's a memorial. It was just. And how was the actual gig with them in the Oh, my God. You're trying to take photos and still in the background is a memorial. It was just. And how was the actual gig with them in the crowd? So good. So good. They loved every word I said. Yeah. Did you reference them?

I just ripped on Dad for ten minutes. Great. Dad can't get it up. Yeah. I got the hot tip from Mum. Because, yeah, so you were on a. That's why Mum left. No, not at all. So you were on a... That's why mum left.

So you were on a line-up show with a group of other comics. Yeah. So were your... Because sometimes when people... When you do a line-up show and there's one person that's kind of stacked the deck in the audience with people that know them, they do well. And then sometimes those people as audience members, they don't get...

You should be polite and give it up for the whole show. Were they a good crowd to everyone else or were they – They were a good crowd to everybody else except for one person during the show. Okay. Was it a bit too weird for them or something? Yeah, just not like – they wanted easy comedy, not this. And then downstairs –

Why doesn't anyone come on top of a camel? Easy stuff. Love that. Easy stuff. Broad, relatable material. And they'd say, he's a bit weird, that guy. Yeah, when he was right there. Oh, really?

Like, they're all in the foyer. They take up the whole place in the foyer. And they're all like, he was no good to me. And he walks past. I'm like, can you not? Great. That's brutal. And trying to be like, he's actually very good.

Yeah. Just not your cup of tea. Yeah. Yeah, poor guy. Anyway. He's bloody very good. Yeah. Just not your cup of tea. Yeah. And, yeah, poor – anyway. He's bloody no Margaret. He just stood there. Just stood there. No dancing.

Yeah. Didn't even black up. We could see his normal skin colour the whole time. It was a travesty. Didn't make any jokes about your dad. Yeah. Well, I reckon we'd better wrap it up here for another episode of The Little Dum Dum Club.

Daniel Walker, Dave O'Neill, thank you so much for joining us. No worries. Dave, what have you got? You've got a book out for the summer of 1982. I'm laughing. I've got a lot of them

in my boot. I don't know how you get in contact with me but yeah, I'm just doing gigs. Have you got any copies of You and Your Stupid Mate in that boot of yours?

Oh, I've got one at home. Do you? Didn't I look for you? I do want it. I look for your part. Your girlfriend is a big fan of that movie that I wrote with Marco too. But yeah.

And I met someone else in Tasmania whose girlfriend was a big fan. Oh, really? Yeah. He's a comic. You'd know him. I can't remember his name. Big shout out to him. He's a comic.

Hello. But I'll keep looking. But yeah, no, I'm just doing gigs. Yeah. Wonderful plug. That's about it. Just doing gigs. Dave O'Neill on Twitter, on Facebook. Oh, yeah. I agree. Yeah, that's right. I'm just doing gigs. Yeah. Wonderful plug. That's about it. Just doing gigs. Dave O'Neill on Twitter, on Facebook.

Oh yeah, I'm on Ivory. Yeah, that's right. I'm all around. Danielle, what have you got? You're at, what are you on Twitter? I'm at Danielle's Cool OK on, oh no, I'm at Dan's Cool OK on Twitter and I'm at Danielle's Cool OK on Instagram.

I don't like it. You've got to sort this out. I don't want to do my last name. Why? Because then you get more people adding you. Yeah, good. That's the point of show business. Everybody like it.

Fuck. I'll change it. You've got gigs coming up. You're gigging around Melbourne. Yeah, I'm doing road shows. I'll be everywhere. Oh, cool. Yeah, cool.

Keep an eye out for that. Doing a roadshow Yeah Have you guys heard a roadshow? I've never heard I've never heard those two words Put together in that way Is that a village roadshow?

They make movies I've seen some of them Oh you're going to Hollywood Congrats The Comic Festival Put on these tours of comics Oh do they? Yeah I've done them

Fuck I'm going to Google this This is the most confusing thing I've ever heard Yeah it's pretty good Sometimes people that do it Haven't even done a show that year or within 20 years, maybe. It sounds like something we'd like to be part of.

Yeah, you guys would do really well in it. Great. Tommy, this is an idea for us. Let's look this up. Yeah, cool. We should try and do it. All right. All right.

That's enough of that. Edit point. Don't have to edit that. Okay, I can stay in alright so littledumbdumbclub.com for the Patreon all the info about

the Costa Mui Podcast Festival t-shirts and all that stuff oh guys get into it if you're thinking if you're on the fence about coming to Costa Mui do it

just fucking do it this is going to be amazing yeah alright guys thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time see you mate see ya poofs