The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 348 - Live! Nick Cody, Dilruk Jayasinha, Tom Ballard, Brett Blake & Nick Capper

Episode Date: June 11, 2017

Chicago Girls, The First Night and Letters To The Editor.Recorded LIVE at the OZO Chaweng Resort in Koh Samui on June 1, 2017. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the Little Dum Dum Club, the first of our live episodes from the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival featuring guests Nick Cody, Dilruk Jaisingar, Tom Ballard, Brett Blake and Nick Capper. But first of all, we've got to let you know about a little podcast festival that we're running. Oh no wait, sorry, Habit just kicked in. So this is it, we're recording this ad and next week's ad back to back. At the moment we are in your hotel room, the day after the Koh Samui Podcast Festival. When you say we are in your hotel room, it sounds like you're talking to the listeners. Yes.

You are in my Carl's hotel room. Now it sounds like you're saying to the listeners that they're in Carl's hotel room. Right. So, yeah, we've just finished it, actually. So we're just doing a bit of a back end of the podcast But yeah, this Wow, what an amazing thing You're about to hear the first Thailand recorded episode

Of The Little Dum Dum Club Do you reckon we've got to look into this Would this be the first podcast that's ever been recorded On the island of Koh Samui? Oh, wow It'd have to be a massive chance You know what? I did listen to a podcast about Koh Samui. Oh, wow. It'd have to be a massive chance. You know what?

I did listen to a podcast about Koh Samui. Of course you did. Yeah, and it wasn't very good. Ours while you were on it. It wasn't very good. So this is at least the best one recorded. There you go. So, yeah, we, for those of you. Can I go into the Guinness Book of Records?

Yeah. Best podcast ever recorded on Koh Samui. Yeah, let's try and get them to just be as subjective, as objective as possible. So we've been here for five days now. There will be some people listening who subscribed to the Patreon and the GoFundMe and chipped money in who will have been seeing our video updates kind of trickling out and we'll have had a bit

of a glimpse into what's been going on here. But for the rest of you scab cunts who are happy to just, you know, bot off the free feed week after week, this will be the first that you've kind of probably heard about the trip at all. Yeah, and it's quite remarkable. I mean, we got here and doing a live show, just the logistics of making everything work electronically.

Oh, God. It's been quite a miracle to to not only get all these listeners over uh to get the guests over to afford it thanks to everyone who's chipped in to make this festival happen especially man amazing stuff yeah thank you so much uh it's the only way it could have happened and then for us to get here and the good folk at the ozo chawing samui resort to help us out and they were were excellent. I mean, apart from the fact that the hotel, the location, the pool, everything is amazing, but they were lovely to deal with. They helped a lot in terms of the mechanics of making the podcast

physically happen. Yeah. And so this episode and next week's one were both recorded in the same venue, which was like essentially outdoors. Like we sort of did it around in their pool bar area, which is kind of like in the dead centre of the most communal area of the resort. So for two nights we were just a massive intrusion

to everyone else staying here. And the fact that they were cool with that happening is, I mean, you know, like great for us. It doesn't speak much about what they think of their other guests, but mean, you know, like great for us, doesn't speak much about what they think of their other guests, but hey, who cares? Yeah. And so we're very close, as you'll hear, we're very close to the pool as we're recording things.

So, you know, as we start, there are just people going, why has there been a podcast? A, two questions. Why has there been a podcast up here right next to me? And B, what is a podcast? Yes, exactly. But it's in daylight. It was in daylight as well. The sun actually set over the course of the podcast.

Yeah, amazing stuff. But as you'll hear, oh, man, it was a very fun show. And all the listeners that came over were all in holiday mood, party mood. Everyone was great to deal with. Yeah. What an amazing experience it's funny though because we wrapped up last night we sort of finished the show and then we had drinks afterwards and we were sort of you know saying kind of goodbye to all the listeners that have been here with us

and like you know because this is the end see everyone but everyone's just staying on for another few nights so we've gotten up this morning and everyone's just still in the lobby hanging out yeah like it's just kept rolling on without us i reckon about half the people have just stayed on so it's like goodbye everyone goodbye everyone and then it's just kept rolling on without us. I reckon about half the people have just stayed on. So it's like goodbye everyone, goodbye everyone, and then it's just we're in the pool going, so what are you going to do today? I don't know. A podcast?

Oh, no, wait. No, no. So, yeah, huge thank you to everyone who chipped in on GoFundMe and also on the Patreon, which has been a big part of being able to make this happen, using the money from this month to fund this trip. And if you're on the Patreon, you'll know that you get bonus episodes.

You get a magazine that we put together for certain amounts that you pay each month. And you also get your little name read out at the start of the show. Thank you. Let's crack into that. Gee, I feel like we're both really relaxed at the moment. Yeah. I feel like it's not the same as normal. Okay.

Let's do this. Patreon subscribers, Thank you so much To First of all Thank you to Dylan Towler Dylan Towler Yeah

Well hey I could use a bit of Dylan After I hop in that pool That I'm about to go to Just after this And you know what You could also use A bit of toweling

In the After you go in the pool You know This guy gets it Yeah I don't know I really When you said You were at the start of Dylan And I honestly thought After you go in the pool. This guy gets it. I really, when you said, you read the start of Dylan, and I honestly thought it was going to be Dilrook.

Chipped in the money for us to fly him over here. That'd be nice if he did. Has he ever, no, he gets the episodes for free. He just asks you. Yes. Yes. Begs is more appropriate, but yeah. Yeah.

Dylan Taller, thanks so much for being part of this. Even if it was five bucks, I think, five or ten bucks. Thanks, Dylan. That paid for a couple of pad ties for us. Yeah, that was good. Thanks so much for that. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Tristan Orman. Orwoman? No, definitely Orman.

No, sorry. Yeah, or woman. Good name. Tristan. What do you think of the name Tristan? Feels like we don't get too many Tristans popping up. I would have had 50 bucks on you being, oh, man, thanks for all that money you gave us. Again, if I was back home and in full work mode, I probably would have, you're right,

I can't do this. I'm just. We've had to get out, I can't do this. I'm just... We've had to get out of the pool to do this. We're just too relaxed to be that fucked about people's names. Yeah, and also straight after the breakfast buffet, so I'm in a bit of a coma at the moment. Yeah. We just walked through the, what do you call it, the foyer. We just walked through the foyer and several guests and friends are checking out.

I think Dilruch waved at the buffet on his way out. Yes, a teary goodbye. So thanks, Tristan. Yeah, Dilruch waving at the buffet. We'll always have Koh Samui. Thanks, Tristan, not Tristran. Tristan, or man. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Liz Leslie.

Liz Leslie, Liz Leslie. A bit of alliteration. Yeah, the old Peter Parker job. LL. Although, of course, it would have been Elizabeth Leslie, so she's crowbarred that in by herself. Elizabeth Leslie. Yeah.

To go completely formal, sorry. Yeah, yeah. But I feel like we're close enough with Liz that we can just call her Liz Leslie now. Liz Leslie. It's nice to say it. It feels like a vocal warm-up. It's now. Liz Leslie. Thanks so much. It's nice to say it. It feels like a vocal warm-up. It's nice. Liz Leslie.

Liz Leslie. No, it feels like a tongue twist. Liz Leslie. Liz Leslie. Liz Leslie. What? Thank you. Thanks, Liz.

Thanks, Lizzie. Thank you, too. Wow. Now, here's, you know, there's a few that I like to dish up, and I sit on the T-ball for you to spike something. Here we go. Here's one for you. Thank you to Stephanie Love.

Oh, well, let me just say, in regards to that money that you've put into our account, I really, Stephanie. Oh, God. I really thought this was going to be easier. Why do you have to? Your radar is really off. My brain's not... I've got a heat stroke. I think you've more... You've got more like you've got Milan stroke from last night.

Yeah, it's a bit of that. I need to go get a massage. Get all the sweet comedy massaged out of my brain. Well, we've whipped through this Patreon read. I think mainly because there's a pool outside and we've gone, how quickly can we do this and fuck off? And also, we don't have to plug the Koh Samui Podcast Festival, so it doesn't get delayed by 15 minutes of you just recalling how good everything over here is.

Yeah. That'll start again next week. Yes. How many have we done? We've done four. Four. So this is the last one. We usually do five, don't we?

Yeah. So, okay. All right. Let me just scurry through the list and see if I can find just one random more person. Just one. Yep. One random. Let's just.

Any, many, many. All right. We're doing this one. Okay. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Uncle Comedy. So this is the brother of Mr. Comedy. I believe so. Well, it must be, yeah.

Well, either that or the... Because the Mrs. Comedy, she married into it. Yeah, but you can still be an uncle. I mean... But he's got the same last name. Oh, yeah. So it must be. Oh, you're right.

Yeah. Uncle Comedy. Yeah, Uncle Comedy. So we're still assuming... Was it Grandma? Who was it? Because we had a grandparent last week. And we were speculating whether grandpa was still alive.

So that remains unanswered. It's not looking good. It's not looking good. Because we've now gone on to the other branch of the family tree of comedy. Okay, well, again, I can't wait to find out. Is there, you know, what? Who else? You know, is he just an uncle by himself?

Is he confirmed bachelor uncle comedy? We'll never know. We'll never know. We'll never know. Maybe there's two uncle comedies. It's 2017. So we get a Patreon subscriber that's been nice enough

to chip in money and not only that someone whose family is renowned for giving us money. Yes. Your first question is I wonder if he's gay. Hey I just

it's good to you know it's good to cover all your bases. I want to know these things. I wonder if we'll find out next week Yeah Well I mean who knows Who subscribes in the next week

I mean we're doing two of these Back to back So I only have a very short time To wait But the listeners What an excruciating week It's going to be And I'll have an interesting

Five minutes in between These two reads To find out The answer to that question Alright guys So we still have some merchandise from the Coastal Movie Podcast Festival. The designs are so good that they're timeless.

You can still get them. LittleDumbDumbClub.com We did a rare thing where we brought a bunch of t-shirts over to the Coastal Movie Podcast Festival and sold them all out. Yes, yes. It doesn't usually happen. So if you want a piece of the magic, if you want a reminder of a thing that you didn't participate in but just

enjoyed the episodes of or there are some people that came along and missed out on t-shirts because we just couldn't bring unlimited amount of luggage over. So if you were part of it and you want a nice sweet memory, there are t-shirts still available so go to

littledumbdumbclub.com to find out. Basically that's nearly the only t-shirts we have on sale at the moment because all of the burger and the aware and all of those have nearly sold out. They're really low on certain sizes. So go there and find the absolute dregs. And once we get rid of a bunch more of the Koh Samui Podcast Festival stuff, we will look into either a new… Time for a new design. New design or just maybe a reprint because the others are quite popular and we are getting

a few… We have an idea for a new one that we've been saying we should do for a while. I think it's high time we did that. Right. We've got a bunch of ideas, I think. I think we've got a heap of like… Can I say it's been wonderful to everyone who was here at the Koh Samui Podcast Festival walking around the resort and just seeing people in not just the Samui t-shirts that we made, but like all our t-shirts.

Yeah. A bunch of, not as many aware ones because they're black, but a few of the phone number ones and the burger one and yeah, the bintang singlets that we made up. Yeah, there's been a few 0438 ones. Yeah. It's been great seeing all that around. So yeah, littledumbdumbclub.com for all that. And also if you want to contribute to Patreon and get great bonus content that we make.

And now that this is done, the next thing is all the other places in Australia that we usually get around to in the back end of the year, that's the next thing. We're going to start working on them. So we'll have dates and venues and all that sort of stuff. Tickets on sale for new live shows interstate very soon. As well as something in Melbourne as well. What's in our sights, Tommy? What's interstate?

Sydney's a big one. Sydney is nearly confirmed. Sydney is nearly confirmed, and it's looking like it's going to be a little bit of a special thing. Yeah. Brisbane, we've got to go back and do the stand-up and do a little bonus thing, which people seemed keen on. Yep.

Canberra went great last year. We should do that again. Yeah, we've got to concentrate and get something happening in Canberra. We don't have an idea of exactly what we're doing in Canberra yet, but we need to do that because you guys were so great last year when we came up. And then probably traditionally Perth we do something. Perth is one of the easiest ones. Yeah.

Probably traditionally Perth we do something. Perth is one of the easiest ones. Yeah. And look, we did have an idea for a really big thing in Melbourne in a couple of months. But then we've also been, you know, after going to Meribah for that episode a couple of weeks ago, now we're really starting to think, well, maybe we should be doing that Meribah live show. Yeah. Guys, you know, we always get feedback from you guys about the live shows. If you've heard your little town name there or you've got ideas like that, let us know

on the social medias. We're on Facebook. We're always replying to people on Facebook and on Twitter and on Instagram. So, guys, get on to that or send us an email. Yeah. But they're the ones, in the next couple of episodes, we'll hopefully have some more dates and venues and confirmed live shows for you guys. We always love seeing you guys come out there.

So we'll try and give you as much time to plan your trips and time to buy tickets as you possibly can. That'll all be coming out here soon. But like I said, get on the social medias. We tend to put those dates out on there first. Yeah. All right, guys. Enjoy this week's episode live from the coast – no, live from the Rich Young is a fucking idiot and his shit-ass YouTube channel,

Guru One Koh Samui International Podcast Festival. Hey. Oh, wow. Mate! Welcome to the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival presents the Little Dum Dum Club presents the Little Dum Dum Club live from the Ozo Chuang Resort in beautiful downtown

Koh Samui, the greatest city in the world. My name is Tommy Daslow and sitting next to me the president of this country, Carl Chandler. G'day dickheads! Oh my god. It is all I can do to stop myself from jacking my little dick right now.

We should have looked up what Haymates is in Thai. Oh, man. I cannot believe this is happening. This is the culmination of my life. Yeah. In a good way and a bad way. I got to put you on suicide watch as soon as June the 5th begins. So anyone listening at home, it was a big

prank. We didn't go to Samui. We're recording this in my basement at home in Melbourne. It's raining. But hey, worth it for talking about something for six months. So there we go. This is literally, we have flown to a different continent and this is a bigger crowd than we get in Adelaide. And there are

people here from Adelaide. Okay, so for the people at home, let's talk through what's going on. We are here. It is the first night of the Koh Samui Podcast Festival. Four days of us doing podcasting and comedy-related activities. And legally binding all behaving themselves. Yeah. We are recording this outdoors at the resort that we're all staying at.

There's about 80 of our listeners here in front of us. Then there's a pool in which there are other guests of the hotel who all seem confused and extremely annoyed about what's going on. Some guests... Hey, pay for your fucking ticket. Some guests have come out onto their balconies just to see what's going on. Sweet underpants, man.

They look like they're drying real nicely. And the staff are rapidly starting to regret this decision to let us do this. Has anyone checked the iTunes Charts in Southeast Asian podcast? Because we are rocketing up the charts as we speak. Those girls in the pool are downloading all 350 previous episodes. Yeah. Hey, guys, we're really famous in Australia, so...

Yeah. Yeah. We... They're laughing because I didn't... Yeah. Yeah. We... They're laughing because I didn't say really, really, really famous. Like, it was funny how modest I was being just now. They're laughing because we could basically read out the phone book and they would laugh, so... Please don't tell me you're from Australia.

Where are you guys from? From Shadow? What? From Shadow? What? From where? Cool, if you can all yell a different thing in different timing, that would really help us out. It's not just you and... What? Oh, Chicago.

Well, we're like the deep dish pizza of Australia. As you guys would say, hey, I'm podcasting here. We are literally like Norm from Cheers. Everyone knows our name. That's pushing it. Well, everyone except them.

Oh, wow. So this is great. So we got in here last night. You and I got in here last night. Yes. There's quite a few other people who have been here for like, some people have been here for like three days already. Some people have been here for two weeks or something, haven't they?

Haven't they? This guy. This guy at the back. Is that ten days or ten days? Ten days, right. He was, yeah. This guy actually coincidentally booked a holiday in Koh Samui. A week before we announced it.

Oh, right, right. Well, you fucked it. So just wait, will you? Just patience, all right? It's very rare for a Dum Dum fan to be that keen to buy a ticket to something straight away. Again, Adelaide. So we flew in yesterday and it was a very full-on day of flying from Melbourne to Singapore and then having a couple of hours in Singapore and then whatever it is, the hour and a half

flight from Singapore to Samui. And the whole day I was just really ramped up because there were a bunch of us on the same flight. It was very exciting. There were some listeners on the flight with us. It was great. Very awesome day. I can't believe we're doing this.

This is so good. And then literally the second the wheels touched the runway at Samui Airport, I went, what the fuck are we doing? I've just been gaslighted into this thing and then we get off the plane and you, I don't think I've ever seen you smile genuinely before. I knew I'd seen you smile before

but I now realise those ones were all fake. Like that was just a, yeah, oh man. I think I danced. The guy had to get you to stop jacking off so he could verify that it was you in your passport photo. Like, come on, please. Bullshit. Hats off, glasses off, no hands on Dickie.

Just, please, just look into the camera and smile. A little bit of respect. He didn't have to verify who I was. That's right, it was your son. It was straight in here through the car exit, please. We did, when we got to the baggage carousel bit, there was like a little ad space that you could book in. It had like someone's phone number.

It was like, hey, book ad space here. And I did contemplate calling up today and going, we should put in an ad for this thing. You know, just get any last minute visitors to Koh Samui. I mean, we need to take any advantage to get new listeners because the three girls from Chicago have turned off already. So they have turned their back on this free entertainment and are just staring at the water instead. So we've really got to amp up this episode to get them back, I think.

So there's a great vibe in here in spite of the fact that, for listeners at home, half an hour before we began these, we really got the vibe going by getting everyone in attendance to sign a legal waiver saying that they've given over... You know, like, when you do any kind of, like, skydiving or go-karting or whatever, you have to sign that five-page form that's like, no matter what happens to you, fuck up, cunt. Like, nothing...

Yes. And thanks to... Oh, the guy on the balcony's gone. That's good. Yeah. But, yeah, we... It's sort of like people walking out, but it's more like people swimming out. But people were like... People kind of came over to this area

where we're doing the podcast and everyone was in very good spirits and seemed very excited about the podcast happening and then just watching the mood plummet when people had to sign over all legal rights to us. I've got to say, it made me real hot. I fucking loved it. I fucking loved it.

That's it. I'm going back to uni and I'm studying law, if that's what it feels like. Thanks for your details. There's a lot of spam coming your way tomorrow. So I hope you appreciate that. It is weird being here in Koh Samui for me. It is a little bit weird. Having this many eyes on you at all times,

so you can't get up to what you normally get up to? No. I actually feel like I'm bringing you home to meet my parents or something. How many jokes so far, and we've been here for not even 24 hours yet, how many jokes so far have you heard about you being over here to see your second family? I reckon we cracked about 11 before we even left Tullamarine. Yeah, I don't think I've had one here apart from Ballard. Tom Ballard did one.

But everyone else has actually been too excited they're on holidays, I think, to bother with that sort of negativity. I think everyone's been pretty happy so far. Yeah, so thank you. I mean, you're welcome to do it now, but now that I've asked for it. Well, we sort of did this the wrong way around. So we flew in, by the time we got in here last night, it was about 10pm.

A bunch of people, like Nick Cody included, got here yesterday morning. Hey, don't announce the special guests. We should have really gotten in here in the morning and kind of like had a day to kind of feel out the vibe and everything and get to know all these people. Because we come in at 10pm, everyone's been drinking all day,

and I've got to say, it was a little bit overwhelming. Yeah. And no offence, but the thought of being trapped with you people for five days made me a little bit scared. Yeah. I feel like I met a lot of people last night that don't remember that they met me. So...

I've met two... I've certainly met two distinct personalities of a lot of you. I've met very over, you know, over ambitious calls last night and a lot of today. Hey, mate. Well, should we get our first guest on here

just to talk through the man who kind of set all this up, got the vibe going yesterday in our absence and contributed to this. Sure. I just want to say very quickly, I've got this weird sensation that I really want to watch a Melbourne webcam.

I wonder what's going on back there. All right, guys, please put your hands together and welcome to the stage the first guest for the Little Dumb Dumb Club at the Costa Mui Podcast Festival, Nick Cody! Nick Cody! That'll do. Sucked into whoever's up next. That's a problem for later.

The official motto of the Little Dumb Dumb Club. Booking guests, finding a venue, sorting out the tech. I'm really looking forward to our next guest, famous mime, Dilruk Jai Singer. So, Cody, you got in here yesterday morning with your father in tow. And by the time we got in here, there was just an absolute mess that we walked into. And I can't help but feel like you were completely responsible for that.

No, no, I don't look at it like that. I just think everybody was excited and then you turned up. You know what I mean? I don't think we were drunk. I just thought you finally arrived. But in hindsight, I did run alongside a van in the rain. Yes. Yeah! Which, you know what, probably does make me seem like I might be in time to go.

You're a bit Clint Eastwood in The Line of Fire, just riding by the President's car. I haven't seen that movie. I'll assume Clint was legendary in that film. It's more like cunt Eastwood in The Line of Content. Yeah, yeah. Gee, I hope the management of this hotel is not listening to... Yeah, anyway.

Hey, you know what? Better to... Yeah, we didn't get any kind of language restrictions. We didn't get told. So, hey, we just, you know, beg forgiveness in the morning. Yeah, I don't believe they know what these words mean. So, let's push on. Somehow worse than what I said.

There was a great moment. So we got in and we kind of dropped our bags off, had a quick shower and everything. And then, yeah, everyone was kind of up the road at a restaurant. And so I turned up and got a bit of a response. I saw Tom Ballard turned up and people were like, hey. All of a sudden Milan walks in and the place goes fucking bananas. Like, honestly, yeah.

Rue Beck! Rue Beck!. Rude! Rude! Rude! Oh, by the way, and this is kind of... People at home won't be able to see this, but this explains kind of why I'm dressed, why I am right now. We're basically cult leaders at this point. And so I've just decided to start leaning into that in my fashion sense. Like, we could get these people to do anything, I reckon. I love a white shirt, white shorts. You're like a

poor Richard Branson. This because we are because also virgin. because we are in a resort. We are in a resort at the moment. This is my aim. This is the first live episode we've ever done,

or any episode, where we've got so many guests that people have to rotate. I want a guest to leave the stage and immediately do a bomb. Oh, yeah. But I've got a feeling we're going to do that on stage. Well, that's also what Doric does when he tries to quietly enter a pool anyway. Well, that's also what Durok does when he tries to quietly enter a pool anyway.

Looking at the exchange rates, if you're ever around in a city in Australia where Milan's turned up and you're like, this eccentric Serbian billionaire bought me 15 drinks, in Thailand that is 197 drinks. We're all... We're in big trouble. Yeah. He has lost all his powers. He shouted around today,

I was like, pussy, is that all you got? Yeah, all of a sudden we're all going, oh, well, we better make him feel good that he's actually spending a good amount of money. So, geez, another 50 drinks, please.

He's going to be the first one to call the bank. He'll go, excuse me, there was only $9 taken out of my account. Can you, Milan, can you Uber Eats us some real drinks from Australia? You're saying you want a guest... We've got to rotate guests out.

I thought you were going to say before you want to see a guest get taken off the stage, like they leave and then they go to their room and jack their little dick and then come back into the gig. I don't know why you would think I would think that. By the way, I do love the Ozo backdrop. We're at a press conference. But sometimes you see the sponsor on

the backdrop, but I've always wondered, who is sponsoring the stage? Oh, hold on, don't worry. DD Plus Film Face Plywood. They've got that on there. And no one else can see that except for us. You've got to take our word for it. I feel like buying a lot of wood at the moment. Oh no, Milan.

Oh, Milan's bought us a couple of five cent drinks. Well, la-di-da. Did someone find a twenty cent coin on the ground? Thank you so much. We're sitting on a stage that's extremely high and feels very, very unsturdy, by the way.

I want this delivered into the camera because I feel like we might not make it out of this one alive. Yeah, can we move some of these drinks onto the other side of the stage? By the way... Someone sent us a photo of them setting this up. I really reckon we're sitting on ping pong tables with a bit of plywood over the top.

I've got a show for you guys later that you're going to love. We find out where the balls are. Should we get another guest up here? Sure. Their microphone's going to work. Well, what about another person who was here early who didn't make the trip over with us? Sure.

Do we want that? Please welcome last-minute surprise guest of the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival, looking around like he has no idea that he's about to come out here. Please welcome Nick Capa. Yay! Well moved, man. I love that we've got this guy whose best credits are you may have seen him

at the pool. Oh, it doesn't work, you idiot. So again, take one of the other ones that does work. We'll just work down the line and then eventually... See how this... Oh! Oh! That was lucky.

You guys could have missed out on my... Oh! Die again. The fact that it dropped out when you said subtle tone is... Hey. Yeah, all right. All right. How many of those disposable mics have we got by the way?

Yeah, we're playing Russian roulette and we're just slowly emptying out the chamber. And I hope someone else is bringing us new mics because I feel like we're going to need 18 of them for this show. We've already gone through two, haven't we? No, no, that's just the same one. Oh, is it? Don't worry, we'll worry about it later,

man. Chill out. We're in Thailand, you'd love it. Shuckers, guys. So Kappa, we were having beers with you, it's now, what day is it? It's Thursday We're in Thailand. You'd love it. Shuckers, guys. Shuckers. So Kappa, we were having beers with you. It's Thursday today. Yes. Last Thursday we were having a beer with you.

And you were saying, oh man, Samui's going to be so good. I wish I was going. And in my memory I just go, man, you should come. And you go, okay. And then I wake up in the morning to you initiating a group chat with me and Chandler going, all right guys, I'm on this flight. I've done it, I've booked in. And we're like, fuck yes, he's done it, the absolute madman. And then you start going, so should I just come round to your house with my passport?

And I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? And then you go, how do we pay for this? And I go, with money. And then you go, what's your credit card details? I'll ask, mum. And I'm messaging Carl going, what the fuck is this cunt on about? And then you turn around

to me and you go, no, you offered to lend me the money to get the flight, which I did do when I was drunk and had completely forgotten about. It's a classic Tommy and Carl story. Like, I was there and they said, Tommy's like, okay, man,

what would it take to get you to Thailand? I was like, oh, man, I've got no money. He's like, no, no, no. I'll lend you the money. And then Carl just goes, yeah, man, you can share a room with Brett, Blake. Like, that'll be fine. You know, we'll work it all out.

It'll be great, right? And then Carl's walking me back in this, like, classic beautiful moment. Like a girlfriend walking their first date to the taxi. Oh, what a beautiful moment. I'm tearing up. I love those chivalrous women that walk the guy back to the cab. And also a girlfriend walking a first date. That's not a girlfriend.

That's a first date. I'm seven beers deep. Shut up. You're right. This is a classic Tommy and Carl story. No, but Carl's like, what's the percentage that you'll come to Thailand? And I'm like, I don't know, man. 60% or something.

And then I went home and I was like, oh, man, I think I can do this. And then I wrote a message to the guys. I'm like, look, I'm down. I can do it. And then they just, I go, okay, so how do we book this? And then Carl goes, do we look like a fucking flight centre cut? That is Carl, for sure. Yeah, yeah.

I don't remember saying the flight's in a bit, but anyway. And then I said, you know, you offered to lend me the money for the flight. And then Tommy's like, oh, yeah, I did. Yeah, yeah, cool, cool. And then I go, okay, so what about the accommodation? And then Carl just goes, just ask Brett. Like, he just totally disowned me. But then I go to you, okay, what are your bank details?

And you send me your fucking girlfriend's bank details. I'm going, this guy doesn't even have a fucking bank account. What am I getting? I'm never getting this money back. What am I getting myself into? I'm off the grid, baby. I live in a van, actually. I love that your version of Mission Impossible

is getting a drunk Australian man to Thailand at the last minute. Like, how will it go? Has it been done before? I would love for you to ask me that question. How can I get you to Thailand? Tell me that it exists. I assume most flights to Thailand are empty up until the last three days. Yeah.

It's just people getting maggot and pulling out the credsy. Yeah. So, Kappa, you got in here yesterday morning around like the same, roughly the same time as you, Cody. Yeah. It's just people getting maggot and pulling out the credsy. Yeah. So, Cappy, you got in here yesterday morning, around, like, the same, roughly the same time as you, Cody. Yeah. I feel like you were another big part of what we got into last night. You put a photo of yourself up sitting around the pool dressed in all black, like a fucking cowboy.

I must admit, I had a cowboy shirt on, black jeans. I did stick out in Koh Samui. You still stick out, by the way. By the way, you stick out in Melbourne. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One pad thai, please. Oh, this is where we've got to get into the show, by the way. Tommy Dasso does an amazing impression of Nick Cody.

Nick Capper. Nick Capper, sorry. Don't get his confusion. You don't want these people coming to the wrong show. Like, they could go... Look, everyone close their eyes and guess who's talking. Hey, how's it going, guys? Oh, classic Daslo.

Anyway. Hey, how's it going? Omnicappa. So I was having a 69er the other day. That sounds like Daslo. It's his favourite number. The Venn diagram does cross over a fair bit. We both sounds like Dassler. It's his favourite number. The Venn diagram does cross over a fair bit. We both do like a sweet. Anyway,

what about another guest? Sure, okay. The remaining three guests are all people that came... I like it that it's short for Capper's shit now. Well, you have come over. You're in Coastal Mill. You haven't fucking told us one story of anything that's happened. Surely something's happened to you looking like that.

And also saying Kappa is shit is the short version of saying Kappa is shit. Is that work? Oh, man. This is... How many? Oh, here we go. So I am here with my dad. Yes.

Jeffrey Cody. Luci in at number one. All right, mate, we all know people. Yeah, we've all got dads. Dad this morning goes, mate. Oh, man, some people just went, fuck, I don't. What a lovely holiday. Sucked in. I tried to take a holiday just to try and fill the void of my father's passed away and then Cody had to fuck it all up.

Cop that. Sorry. Cop and cop that. He'll be back. Dad this morning. So we're sharing a room and Dad this morning goes, mate, I've lost my reading glasses and I've got a bunch of stuff in the safe. Can you open the safe for me?

I go, yeah, no worries. So I open the safe for him. Two minutes later he goes, yeah, I've got all the stuff. I lock the safe again. Yep, not a problem. A few minutes later I go back to the safe, put the card in that we've agreed on and it does not open.

And I go, Dad, what's the number? And he goes, the number we had before. So I put it in again. It doesn't happen. And I go, Dad, did you the number? And he goes, the number we had before. So I put it in again. It doesn't happen. And I go, Dad, did you actually put in that number for the safe? And he goes, I couldn't see. I just had a crack. But that's fair.

That's what we all do with phone numbers. Close enough. Close enough. So you just can't get your stuff out. No, we couldn't get the shit out. We had to call reception. Which I was, to be honest. To be fair, all that stuff out no we couldn't get the shit out we had to call reception which I was to be honest to be fair

all that stuff in there is very safe at the moment yes I like it I've got two dollars Australian cash

don't want to lose that but I was more I was worried for a second like fuck it's going to be embarrassing but to be fair

Thailand locking your shit in the safe is the best case scenario for the hotel staff to have to deal with. It's like, oh, there's not a body to move or there's not

a fire. It's like, no, no, no, we forgot the number. As long as there's not a kid you put in there, we're fine. And to be fair, between you and your dad, the things that you deem valuable, oh no, there's a UFC DVD and a carton of Winnie Blues locked away. Who fucking cares? There's half a thick shake

in there. My virgin gold class car. Platinum. Idiot. Treating us like we're savages. I like it how I try to be

not a tourist that disrespects the culture over here and stuff. I was like, I'm trying to be cool, whatever. Then last night I was dancing in a restaurant with a sweet chilli sauce dish in my mouth. And I was dipping spring rolls in it and then feeding them to the other people on the dance floor. What a great way to get culture. You're actually... You're wearing the polo shirt of the restaurant we went to for lunch today. Yes.

I assume you think it's custom. Well, we ain't here. What polo shirts do you have available? No, they were just looking for a tip, all right? Yeah, and you go, oh, can I have one of those t-shirts? And they go, yeah, we've only got like a large left. And you go, should be alright. And then you just whip your shirt off in the middle of the restaurant.

Start getting nude. So many orgasms went on in that restaurant. There was cum flying everywhere. It was crazy. It was a great restaurant. Green Bird. If you're ever in the vicinity, Green Bird. Well, Milan paid for it, so I thought I might as well buy a shirt. It was a great restaurant. Green Bird. If you're ever in the vicinity, Green Bird.

Well, Milan paid for it, so I thought I might as well buy a shirt. Yeah. If we are a bit sketchy, we did get Milan at lunchtime. Yeah. That's very fair. All right, let's get our next guest out here. He travelled over with us yesterday. You may have heard him on last week's episode of The Little Dum Dum Club.

Please welcome back into The Little Dum Dum Club, Brett Blake. Hey. You may have heard him, for the people that are at this live show, you may have heard him if you've listened to the show in the last 24 hours. Yeah. And probably a bunch of you haven't. G'day, legends.

How are you? I've definitely got to add to Nick Capper's sweet chilli sauce ordeal because this morning Nick Capper's sharing a room with me, which is so awesome, by the way, and I woke up this morning, he goes, man, what did I do last night? There's all blood in my bed. I don't know if I killed somebody.

What the fuck's going on? And then he leans down, there's red all over his bed. I'm like, man, I think you murdered someone, right? And he licks the sheet. He goes, it's okay, Blakey. It's just sweet chilli sauce. You fucking animal. That is so NYPD blue, you know.

Oh, there's been a murder. Hang on, let's lick the blood first. Can I just say quickly, the five of us on stage, between the five of us, we look like an illustrated guide that you'd see in a magazine of the guide to the five different types of sex pests you're going to see in Thailand. Here they are, the five of us, we look like an illustrated guide that you'd see in a magazine. The guide to the five different types of sex pests you're going to see in Thailand. Here they are, the five. The five archetypes.

I was thinking who... I was thinking who left school earlier, finished a degree, didn't finish one. Year 12, 10, grade 3. How good is math? Yes. Anyone listening to this has got to see a photo of Brett Blake.

Can you take the photo of the jet ski before? I was just doing some mad chops. That's what I was about to say. It was raining. Everybody's running for cover underneath. Brett Blake turns to me and he goes, this is fucking prime jet ski weather. By the way, we didn't fly over Brett Blake.

We just pinched him for a second. He was running a go-kart business down the road. This is my homeland. I look after Carl's family when he's gone. Yeah, the boys. So you flew over with us yesterday. When the drinks cart came along, you and I, we both got a beer. And there's that magical moment when it's like 9 a.m.

You go, oh, is it okay to have a beer? And I looked at Tommy and he looked back at me with a little glisten in his eye and went, we're doing this. Yeah. We got a beer. And then I was like, well, just one for the start of the flight. That's enough. And then I'm kind of like doing my own thing. And then this hand with a beer just kind of enters my field of vision.

And it's the drinks cart woman. She's come back. And I go, oh, no, no, I haven't ordered anything. There's been some mistake. And she goes, oh no him and points over the aisle at you and you're just there going, yeah. You know what that makes you?

Milan of the air, cunt on the ground. Classic cunt move. But you didn't see the before move because I was like, yeah, just whack it over to my mate over there, right? And there's this, like, old Greek lady who was very lovely and she was sitting there. You've taken a stab at the nationality.

That's bold. She said I'm a beautiful woman. Did you check her passport? Yes, I'm passported. A Greek woman? Oh, my God. You're like David Attenborough or something. Anyway, so the aisle lady with the beers goes to pass you.

The aisle lady with the beers. Not a flight attendant. The bitch blocking the dunny with the drinks. I don't want to talk too much science and confuse you all, but the aisle lady with the beers, right? Enough aeronautical engineer talk, all right? Anyway, so she goes to pass one over to Dasolo. Hey guys, guys, don't be offended, that's the mullet talking.

We know you built the Boeing, alright? She cock blocks you, grabs it, opens it and goes for a skull like, no, no, no, no, no, no. And then I'm like, that's for my mate. And she goes, yeah. And then passes it to you. Yeah, she thought all her Christmases had come at once. I feel bad because

it was me and my girlfriend in that aisle and then behind us was Dil and Carl and then you were across the aisle from us. And so we were sort of all together but then there were... Yeah, then there was this random woman... How good was the group chat? And she was... Yeah, so on last week's episode I said,

hey, listen to this if you're coming over. Listen on the way over and when you get to this bit, come to my seat and find me and say, hey, one person did it. Like one person had to lean over this woman and kind of wake her up and go, sorry, and go, hey, I just listened to the podcast and you said to come over. And I go, oh, thanks, man, that's really cool.

Yeah, thanks for coming. And she's just sitting there going, what the fuck is this? Why are you passing me another beer? You know why you had to suggest, hey, download this podcast and listen to it on the way over? Because you Jetstar animals don't get free entertainment on the fly. Fucking fly like a human. There's movies and shit to watch.

Just trying to help you guys. You don't have to pay $10 for Logan, okay? You can listen to Brett Blake, okay? It's fine. Quality content. Can I ask, Cody? Yeah. What does your management think of you being over here doing this? What do you mean?

I don't have a choice. I tell them what's going on. Surely there must be other gigs and you're saying, no, I'm flying over to Thailand for a podcast. Yeah. They don't care? Not at all. Okay, that's fine.

Next question. Oh, fuck. Next question. Brett Blake, what does your parole officer think about you being over here? Let's just say he doesn't know. Nah, he's a good bloke. I've defended him a few times in

court with all my multiple appearances, so it's good. I know this is, for people at home this sounds a little bit weird, but we're just continually being Milan'd at the moment. Yeah. I was Milan'd pretty hard. I like the fact that Tommy... Did you nearly call him Tomody?

Tomody! I love some stand-up comedy. Did you just nearly forget the name of the guy that gave you the money to come over to this country? Well, at least he's not in your room. At the very least, you should learn Tom's mum's name. I know, that was a good message.

Tom goes, the account will be in my mother's name, but don't mind that. Yeah, yeah, it's a little bit of comedy. I like it that you guys... Have we reached the end of your mum paying for shit? Have we reached the end of that joke? That's what it feels like. Can you not talk about my mum's jug while I'm overseas trying to enjoy my...

I was saying, have we reached the end of Tommy's mum paying for shit? That being funny. Doesn't feel like it. Have we ever run a joke into the ground? Nah, not at all. Dil's fat anyway. He's here soon. It's true. Alright, should we get...

I'm out of here. Should we... Really? Well, I think... Fuck, what a sweet gig for you. We've still got one more. Someone can just... Oh, that's backing us.

That's backing vocals. Yeah. No, that's predicting a microphone to work. All right. Bold. Let's see how we go. Should we get another guest up here? Folks, please welcome onto the stage Tom Ballard!

Yay! Sweet midriff. Yes. Yeah. Grab that boy. See how it goes. Yeah, let's stand here. Yes, it's working!

Yay! Hello, everyone. Guys, guys at home, you have really fucked up by not seeing the visual of what's happening in the moment. Yeah, that's safe. This will be good. Good, finally. Isn't that Cody's seat straight out the front? What a wonderful family photo this will make.

It's a pleasure to be here. The closest thing you could get to a woman appearing at this event. Close enough. I know where we are, Tom. Don't try and trick me into fucking you. I'm not going to fall for it. You wish, honey.

Mm-mm. I'd like to acknowledge the number one sponsor of this entire affair, White Privilege. I'd like to give a shout-out to White Privilege, please. Fucking hell. It's funny because it's a developing world. This guy gets it. No, Tom

does stick with his beliefs. He flew over with these guys, but he's going to catch a refugee boat home. It's on ABC next week. Enjoy it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck, it's depressing I was available for this. I've got to say, seriously. Like, I've had to ask myself some pretty big questions.

Well, you... Usually you're against You know struggling people with weird last names Being stuck on islands But fucking Dasslo's here Worth it I like it that Tom was on a thought provoking SBS show And then today he was standing next to a guy

With a t-shirt on that said I'm gay And has he got that shirt on? He hasn't got it now, no. It's a shame. There's amazing people here. There's a psychologist amongst you, which I find very interesting. I think by the end of the trip he should diagnose everybody. Yeah, I think

that guy needs to look in the mirror and diagnose himself more than anything. Let's talk a little bit about who's here and a bit more about what we flew into last night. Well, very quickly, what about this? I know that there is... This is for real, right? There's four random people.

You guys there, you four, are not here for us. You guys are just... Is there four people here? Oh, two people. Two people? Four people that don't know us at all, that have just walked in. Never seen us before. I hear that a lot during the comedy festival.

There are four people that have just walked in out of the pool and gone, well, there's someone with a microphone. This is for free. We'll do that. Is that right? Great. So what do you think so far? That is pretty amazing.

In response to your question from before of can I do this, no, you cannot. You're great. You have a great day. You're fucking up already, mate. That's bad heckling right there. But these four, I love it that they've wandered in here and then they came up and tried to buy a T-shirt,

which is very supportive. Oh, wow. But then we ran out and they got pissed off. 30 bucks. Yeah, 30 bucks. 12 and 5. But then we ran out and they got pissed off. Yeah, 30 bucks. Fuck, are you Carl's dad? This is a very bad advertisement for how little there is to do in Samui. People who weren't here for this couldn't think of anything better to do than come to watch a podcast they'd never heard of before.

Yeah, still better than some of our guests. I think we've all experienced the pain of trying to explain this to people in our lives. On the flight over, the lady next to me asked me, like, oh, so you're going on holidays or working? And I was like, well, my friends have a podcast. And I tried to explain to my mum. She didn't get it at all.

And then on the day I left, she called me and said, I hope you have a great time. Everyone's safe. And I just hope everyone thinks it's a good idea. Oh, my mum rang me and went, can you please, and passed the phone over to my dad. And I said, what's all this about? What do you need to know?

Imagine talking to your parents. But then dad got on the line and said... Dad wants to talk to you. Fuck, someone's died. Here we go. Dad got on the line... You're not overseas. You're on the front page of the Maryborough

whatever the fuck paper that is. Dad got on the line and went, oh, mum made me talk to you because she said, this may be the last time you ever get to talk to each other. Oh, hang on. I'm being rung by the ABC radio. Can I take this? Oh, yeah, okay.

Yes! Tommy's mum rang me and said, how much do you need? The number is 043... Hello? Hello, Carl. It's Anna calling from ABC Melbourne. How's it going? I'm a bit busy.

No, I'm fine. Yeah. We're actually mid-podcast at the moment, so this is a great time. Buddy. Where's this? What? Sorry, I am...

Guys, he's 50. Leave him alone. We're talking. We're all good. Can you talk right now? This is like my mum trying to figure out fucking Skype This is brutal Yeah, we can talk right now

Can you Google where the speaker on the iPhone is for us? Yeah, yeah, we can talk right now Yeah, so hello Amber We can talk, yeah? I've had one walk out. Yeah, this is the best line we can get. Milan, I'm sober. Yep, I know. Well this is exactly what the listeners of ABC Radio want What? Yeah just go do it on stage

Fuck off mate And while he does that Let's get someone to sub in. There's no way she could have called back later. Hey, thanks everybody for coming to the Koh Samui phone call festival. Who would have thought we could have done it? Yeah, take the call next to the speaker. That's the better place to do it.

All right, folks, let's get him on here. Folks, give it up. Welcome Dilruk Jai Singh! Yeah! Yeah, baby, baby! Wow! Good to see you, Slumdog Millionaire. Slumdog Millionaire. A real live elephant on stage.

It's awful how they treat them over here. Look at this disgusting display. And his mic isn't working so he can't even defend himself. I went to get a massage with Dil today. Lucky they didn't charge him per metre square. He would have been fucked. You had to lie down on scaffolding. Well, this is fun. Yeah, I've got to say, quite the opposite reaction from my parents.

My parents are super excited that this is happening. Because you've come to a better country than where you're from. All right, mate, too far. Too fucking far. No, seriously, they're pumped. They can't believe this is happening. Congratulations, Dum Dum Club. Yeah, thanks, man.

Speaking as the majority shareholder of the little Dum Dum Club, I accept your thank you. And for the listeners at home, I am punching a dart. Yeah, what's going on here? As all the cool kids say. Yeah, is this the first time you've ever smoked? It certainly looks that way. Yeah.

I don't know how to hold it. You're fine. You're healthy enough, Dill, so this shouldn't affect you at all. It looks like the only person you've ever seen smoke is Cruella DeVille. He's diabetes. 101 dumb cunts. To be fair, he ate the first packet. That's what

Dill needed, another vice. It said Marlboro, not Mars. Okay? I figured since I'm not drinking, I'll get a new vice in. You know, for content. I heard his diabetes go, oh, great, now this? Enjoy your leg, champ.

I've been having a great old time. I've had count him, three massages today already. You are going hard in the massages. And one of them away from everyone else. What happened there massages. And one of them away from everyone else. Dil, what happened there, champ? What's that?

And one of them away from everyone else. No, no, no. It's all legit. I can't find any of the dodgy ones. If you can help me out, because you know what they say in Thailand, if the elephant's trunk is up, it's good luck. Dil's playing orgasm bingo. So this is what the podcast feels like without Carl.

Feels a little supportive and nice. Guys, just say... I love that you say that after we all just hung shit on you for two minutes. Yeah, good point, actually. I wonder how it's still better, though. I wonder how his little interview over there is going. Yeah. Look at him.

He's fucked. Don't hire him. And look at him. He's over there and he's covering his ears so he can hear the phone. That's just an excuse to get next to those Boston girls, you crumb. I'm over here doing an interview with the ABC. Fuck off, mate. No one hires you.

I think if we cheer my dad on enough, he'll push him in the pool. The only reason I'd say no to that is because his phone's already pretty bad. The last thing we want to lose is all the great content we filmed on his phone today, which is none. Which is just me eating a lobster. I can't wait for Carrot Affair to refer to us as the Thailand 60. It's fucking

coming, you guys. That's what I said to the cameraman today. I was like, man, you'll be able to sell this to banged up a boy. Pre-footage. No, Dil, you're not getting banged. Don't worry. Can we get a huge round of applause for the staff here at the fucking Ozo Chilling

who are just so nice and asking no questions. The shame, the sad thing is none of them heard that. Thank God they don't know what cunt means. They're very helpful. Their service is great and they're tolerant of what's going on. I think it's their greatest feature at this point. Sawadee ka, mates! That is

very culturally appropriate. I'm bringing Australia and Thailand together. Much like Kyle Chandler's been trying to do for years. No, no, no. Culturally appropriate, says the man wearing a singer singlet. He's crushed out the G in singer and written Jaya Above it Very respectful of the culture

Speaking of shirts, me and Cody Got a little bit of a competition going on at the moment We're trying to have a look around I think even listeners can get on board We're trying to find the filthiest shirts We're all aware of my pussy heart Expedition to the airport yesterday We're all aware of it Everyone's aware to the airport yesterday. We're all aware of that

pussy. Everyone's aware of it. So today we had a filth off. Do you want to do a vote who won? Well, for the listeners at home, yeah, Cody. So my shirt says I don't even know. Cody says sleep. My shirt

says sleep with me, free breakfast, which I'm worried about hanging around Dill right now. It didn't say free second breakfast. Yeah, he reads it the other way around. Blake wants me to read his because he can't fucking read English. How I Met Your Sister, and it's got three nude cheeks in it. We're just trying to find a few filthy shirts around town. Brett Blake bought his from home.

I can't believe we crossed the line finally. But you know what it is though? It's like that t-shirt, if you just see the t-shirts on the rack by themselves, Brett's is way worse. But in context of you wearing them, yours looks worse, Cody, because you see Brett wearing that. It's like, of course he's

wearing that. You balance out the shirt, whereas Cody, it's like, oh, he should know better. Whereas with you, it's like, oh, he's dressed up. I got some harsh eyes from Ballard yesterday. He's like, man, what are you doing? For Brett to put that on. I was like, calm down.

If it said butthurt, you'd be all over it. For Brett to put that on, he actually had to take off his old bashy cunt shirt. Fair point. He's best for the second round. What is this cunt doing on the phone? They do not want to be interviewing him for this long about a podcast festival overseas, I don't think.

Guys, I think you're looking at the next host for Media Watch. Carl's just going, this article's fucked. These guys are cunts. These guys are cunts. These guys are cunts. Classic chat. I wonder whether there's a limit to how many C words we can drop before the other guests start complaining to management going, we came to Thailand for a relaxing...

It's probably happened already. There was a couple on a beautiful date and then two minutes in they just went, and left. Also, I want to know, is there anyone here that... I assume most of us woke up very dusty this morning? Is there anybody that's worried about... Oh, he's back.

Alright guys, that's all the time we have for this week on the Little Dum Dum Club. Is that what you think the song is? It sounds like a drunk version of the Rocky thing. I think that's Green's Clearwater Revival. No, we run a porno podcast, don't we? The Little Cum Cum Club.

How'd it go? And how'd you get that? It went fine. What happened while I was gone, I heard a lot of laughs and a lot of people looking my way. All good, I hope. Very positive. We were just reciting your jokes because we missed you.

Oh, right, right, right. So what did your real family in Thailand say? That was the ABC. So, no, we were getting millions of downloads thanks to that. So thanks for putting up with me not being there for a little second. But they seemed very... Confused? Confused, yes.

Concerned? Yeah. Yeah. So it's a legitimate podcast and all they can hear in the background is like, this guy's a dumb cunt. They covered Chappelle Corby this week and thought, this is the worst shit coming out of Asia. Yeah, we thought Aussies were doing it bad there.

Hey, so what I have done is, because we are here, all of you guys in the live audience in Thailand, and I would like to think that you're all embracing the local culture and have all learned a few words or two around here. Has anyone done that? Not really? Okay, cool. Cobb and Cobb.

Cobb and Cobb. Yeah, Cobb and Cobb. Nice one. I thought I'd give you a couple of new ones that would help everyone here. So here we go. Thank God the guy from Maryborough has come in to teach us some shit. About diversity. Yes. Here we go Thank God the guy from Maryborough has come in to teach us some shit About diversity Here we go

You can use these words in everyday situations Some cows have a McDonald's Oh alright Carl So Senwitpet Senwitpet Thank you That is duck sandwich

Do the whole joke in Thai. Yeah, do, yeah. Watch a bomb in another country. Pit soon. I'm going to get it. Pit soon, pit soon. That is prove it, prove it. Nice.

To the four people who've won it randomly. Pit soon, pit soon, pit soon, pit soon, pit soon. To the four people who've wanted in randomly to this, these are our catchphrases that we've translated into the local language. No refunds. Oh, I heard the word mood. Hello. And the word buffet as well. That is, I ate the whole buffet.

Okay. So you're welcome. He loves the mood. And the word buffet as well. That is, I ate the whole buffet. So you're welcome. He loves the moot. He ate the whole one. So have we got a little bit of time for this? I have got a little bit of an update on a couple of weeks ago. Your family here. We did a couple of weeks ago. Can we wrap up this podcast so we stop getting served these fucking drinks?

Oh, no. Oh, man, for fuck's sake. Milan, please stop. Hey, guys, welcome to our next eight-hour episode. Kevin's going to get his shirt off and all up. Pitson, Pitson, Pitson, Pitson. Hey, these could... Kevin's going to get his shirt off and all up. Pearson! Pearson! Pearson! Pearson! Hey, these could be coming from anyone. This is a non-alcoholic one, Dill.

Sick. That was a joke. I really fucked you there. Welcome to the real world. What a dumb cunt. That is very funny. I was very excited. I must say, when it's 35% and 95% humidity, I always go for a milky beverage.

And weird that someone that looks like Brett just doing something non-consensual, forcing something onto someone else. Who'd have thunk? There'll be a lot of photos of me going around later. The guy with the pussy-hot shirt as we're seen walking. So you got an update on something from two weeks ago? Yeah, so we did an episode a couple of weeks ago

You're pregnant. about, we went to Maribor my hometown apart from this one. But so we did that episode did everyone listen to that one? We went to Maribor we talked about, we drove around looking for Matthew Delvedove,

the NBA player in Maribor. We talked a lot to people from Maribor. Anyway, so after that, oh, sorry. I've got to sit down for this. Sorry. Bitch, be humble. So because of that Maribor podcast, we got a letter written into the local paper in Maribor.

How'd you get that? Why'd you get that? And I will read that out. The headline of the letter is, local residents are not a zoo. So, it goes I recently listened to a radio style show Wow That's the highest compliment we've ever got

Radio style Can you put that on your poster next year? Radio style show, Maribor advertiser That's right I recently listened to a radio style show That was essentially dedicated to insulting Mariborra and its residents. Oh! The Carl Chandler Times.

The show, The Little Dum-Dum Club, has a large following. Well, thank you. Did they have an attachment of me listening? We've never seen one of these before. Yeah. With thousands of listeners. And their recent episode... Fake news. We've never seen one of these before. With thousands of listeners. And their recent episode... Fake news. And their recent episode saw the two hosts visit our lovely town.

Now that is fake news. While there, they called its residents a number of colourful adjectives. There was a number of bracketsful adjectives. I reckon it was a number. Brackets. The C word. Is the C word an adjective? I was about to chime in and say not really a number, just one. No, no, no. That's a noun.

Cunt is a noun. Again, that's fake news. It's official here. You heard it here first. Cunt is a noun. You didn't think you'd be learning anything on this trip, did you? So what you're saying is the education of people from Maryborough is not that great? It's official here. You heard it here first. Cunt is a noun. You didn't think you'd be learning anything on this trip, did you? But here we go. So what you're saying is the education of people from Maribor is not that great? It's not as good as Sri Lanka.

Right. So they implied... It's a verb as well. They implied we're morons and they dragged local businesses through the mud. Yes! Yes! Well, if you see dum-dum backwards, it's mud-mud. The Illuminati lives.

You guys are pretty safe because no one in Maryborough can read. No one will ever see this. It's coming from Brett Blake. I can do words. All right, calm down. And now they're planning a live show in Maribor, bringing a bunch of their fans in from the city

to quotation marks gawk at the locals. Hold on. Who the fuck would travel to watch a podcast? Yeah. Got you. This is like Alcoholics Anonymous on tour. They're going to Thailand, they're not going to fucking Maribor.

What do you think Alcoholics Anonymous is? Where people sit around and drink all day? Is that what you think AA is? Shut up, Dil. If there's an Alcoholics Anonymous conference, they don't invite Milan, by the way. Just so you know. That's not really proven. No, I'm still sober.

That fits because it's like we're as bad as running AA as we are doing comedy. We've completely fucked it. That's more like 30% proof it. Proof it. So, back to the letter. Dil doesn't want to do it because there's 12 steps. Isn't there

an elevator program? Yeah, if there are 12 lifts. What about one escalator? Can't I just do the first step over and over again? Is there some sort of Uber program I can do instead? Or a forklift? If Dil needed to have a wank every time he

wanted a drink, he would have got 12 massages by now. What? Oh my god. Can someone translate Maury for me? I will. Yeah, nah, can't. If Jill wanted to have a wank every time he got a massage,

he would have gotten 12 massages. It's funnier to do, yeah. Stop sounding like pure comedy gold. So, back to the letter. I am sick of this elitism. What's a writer's name? Do you have the right to do it? If there's one thing that this podcast is, it's better than everyone else.

We're always bigging ourselves up. In your fucking ivory towers. All our guests are always coming on and going, you're so much better than us. I wish we could have got into your comedy festival show this year, but it was sold out. We wish we could get you for roadshow, but you're too busy. So I am sick

of this elitism and arrogance being directed towards those who aren't from the trendy inner city. If these smug sycophants do come to town I hope your paper can do something to protect our neighbours

and families from protect our neighbours and family from ridicule and insults The episode in question can be found here. HTTP backslash backslash littledunknownclub. They don't even know how to write out a URL,

the stupid cunts. Yeah. The city is better. That's what Ricky Nixon did in his biography. He put a YouTube link in one of the chapters. Oh, that is great. So, the end is, please save yourself the displeasure of listening to the whole thing and just skip through.

From Peter O'Dwyer of Mirabarra. Yeah. More like Peter, oh, shut the fuck up. Yeah, that is fucking, well, I mean. I hope that's galvanised the whole town against us. I hope it's galvanised us into actually definitely doing the podcast now. Oh, please. We've got to do it.

Yeah. I mean, gawking at the locals, that wasn't what I wanted to do. But now that he's said that, oh, we be gawking. We be gawking up a fucking storm. I'm thinking of the Mirabarra Podcast Festival now. You could have said that before 60 people bought flights. A V-line

ticket doesn't need a passport, you cunts. I've got a feeling a lot more people will be here than going to fucking Marabara, to be honest. Oh, wow. So did your parents send you that? No, a lot of parents sent me that. Everyone I knew from Maribor, their parents saw it and then sent it to me.

And do you think the vibe is that these people that you know from back there, do they agree with it? Are they now mad at you? Or do they get that it's like a bit of a stitch-up? Well, because it's all the parents of friends of mine have sent it to me. They don't know what a podcast is. They don't know how to download it. They just saw my name.

There you go. There's that smug elitism again, you fucking silver spoon cunt. That is very inner city. I do love the don't bother listening to the thing you have to download. Just skip through it. Yeah. And then, P.S., here's the link. None of them have the internet.

You're fine. Yeah. We've got to – how easy do you reckon it is would be, like, for you to send a letter in and pretend to just be, like, someone who still lives there as a counterpoint? Hey, I read this letter and I've got to say I wholeheartedly disagree. I thought it was charming and insightful and hilarious. All right.

You've got to get up and do that tomorrow. We're doing another one of these in, like, three days. We've got to have a follow-up by then. I'm on it. I'm on it. Because also, by the way, this is a newspaper that I used to work at. They're printing hate against me. This is where you used to write the TV listings,

which is my favourite piece of shit at a job move ever. Jackson, that's flashing. Is that bad? No, it means it's straight fire in front of the lens, man. Oh, the killing it button's going off. We're all good. Oh, okay. Is it still recording?

We're getting the light to fuck off. The camera's just like, don't make me do this. Oh, sorry, there's another podcast on here after this, isn't there? Do people know the story about you working for the newspaper? Yes. Alright, well, goodnight everyone. Dinner time.

We're getting heckled by an airplane. It's like doing a podcast at the Kerrigan's house. I think... Carl dug a hole. That joke is going straight to the pool room. That is courtesy of Rad Dad and Microwave Jenny. It's the vibe of the joke. One too far.

That's a shame. I know it was fucked, but who cares? How much does Kappa want for this gig? 50 bucks? Tell him he's dreaming. Fuck, we're going to get lower than this in a shame. I know it was fucked, but who cares? How much does Kappa want for this gig? 50 bucks? Tell him he's dreaming. Fuck, we're going to get lower than this in a minute. No, so Mirabar Advertiser is a place I used to work at, and I used to sneak in fake letters, fake TV listings,

and all that sort of stuff. So it looks like they're getting their own back, because they're all still there. It's the same people who have worked there for like 30 years, and they're on purpose fucking slamming me. Fuck, yeah, you're right. I've got to put that in and we've got to go and do a live podcast. We do, yeah.

We've got to go save our reputation in this town. Aren't they going to like, you know, march you out of town and stuff and have like protest signs? Are you that desperate for content? They tried. Oh, sorry, we're in Thailand. By the way, they tried to do that 20 years ago. That's why I'm fucking gone.

20 years ago you left? Oh, you're old, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And now I'll explain the term marching to you. I do that all the time towards the buffet. Hey, I think it's probably about time to wrap this up. But what I would love to do... Well, laugh more, idiots. Well, I was love to do... Well, laugh more, idiots.

Well, I was going to say... No, but if we stop, Milan's going to buy us drinks. No, haven't I taught you anything? Pits soon, pits soon, pits soon, pits soon, pits soon. What I was going to say is that we... Hang on, Milan, what are you saying? I just asked them what the best drink in the house is and they said it's called Fantasy.

So there's seven Fantasies coming up and you're not getting one. You're all the Fantasy I need, Milan. Maybe we should do this and then come back because we were talking earlier about how we've done a lot of gigs where we've crowd surfed at the end. No, it's too sweaty. No, no, but the pool's meant to be closed, but fuck, I want to end the podcast by the two of us launching a bomb. Would the staff allow us to just quickly do that?

Do we do a see you, mate? Can we hop in the pool? Are the staff here? Excuse me? Yeah, the staff are there. Can we just do a quick bomb into the pool and then we'll get straight out? It's Thailand. They don't give a fuck.

Can we or not? Also, be careful when you say bomb around me, please. Yeah, I think I bombed enough, guys. Can we do this or not? Is it going to happen? I think we can just do it. Just do it. Pitsu!

Pitsu! Pitsu! Petsu! Petsu! Petsu! The stuff, we're just going to do one quick bomb and then we'll be straight out, is that okay? Well, I asked, I asked... I asked and I got a no. But I'll assume that means yes. Yeah, like if we just go in and then get straight out. For the sake of the content.

If everyone lets them know that everyone here will buy a drink If we do a bomb Is that a yes? I'm such a little nerd, I'm like yeah I'm going to bomb real hard Hold on, let me ask this lady Should we just do it real quick? I don't give a fuck as long as this lady. We're still rock and roll. Should we just do it real quick? I don't give a fuck as long as this lady approves.

Yeah, what do people reckon? Are we just going to do it real quick? Let's just go. Okay. Alright, alright, alright. Well, that's all for this week at the Little Dum Dum Club. We'll see you next time. See you, mates! Diamonds!