The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 359 - Rhys Darby

Episode Date: August 22, 2017

One Armed Men, Jim Carrey and The Pants.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with special New Zealand guest, Rhys Darby. But before that, we have to inform you of some things. Perth, we were being a bit vague last week. We were being very wishy-washy about when we were going to be over there, but it is now confirmed and on sale Sunday, November 19th at Rosie O'Grady's The Perth Dumb Dumb Extravaganza. That's right. We do the live podcast. We have three special guests and we do a big stand-up show as well. Your favourite thing, me and Tommy are doing stand-up, plus a

bit from our guests, I presume, maybe. I don't know. We haven't talked about it yet. If it's anything like last year, Fleety getting on and doing 25 minutes, it's going to be more than a little bit of our guests. Fucking hell. It was good but... It was great. Shut up, Fleety. Yeah, so that's very exciting. Always fun to get over to Perth at the end of the year.

Tickets are on sale now, littledumbdumbclub.com. Already selling pretty well. Can't wait to get over there and see all the WA Dumb Dumb Brigade that turn up every year, pack out the venue. And the numbers always go up as well, so looking forward to that venue being just a little bit fuller again. It's a lovely little sojourn for us to go over there. Looking forward to once again feeling like shit on that red-eye flight home.

Oh, man, I'm not going to do that this time. I think this might be the first time I don't do it. That was the worst flight I have ever had. I pride myself on sleeping on planes, but I felt like I was in a coma last time, in a waking coma where my body wasn't moving. Sleep paralysis. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. It was the worst. Yeah. Shout out to Jetstar. I always think it's going to be good to get like overnight and get home in the morning ready for the next day, but I forget that we do the show and we drink and then the concern is not being too blind when you turn up at the airport.

Oh, yeah. Which is just four hours of stress of like, okay, I've got to sober up a bit. It's no good. Fuck with it. Never again. I think there's been a drama every time we've done Perth and then had to go to the airport afterwards. We've had some sort of drama every time.

Really? Yeah. Like, remember there was that time where we went, we were in, we nearly missed the plane. We were coming for free. Happens a lot when I'm with you. Yeah, right. I fell asleep at the airport once and only woke up as they yelled at me,

are you on this plane to Melbourne? I was like, oh, yeah. Well, a wonderful advertisement for the shows. FIFO comedy that we do. Yeah, big special guests. If you've been before, you know we always manage to convince great guests to come along with us and that is because you guys pack out the shows and make it so much fun.

So jump on that. Sydney, we are getting very close to our huge live show at the Sydney Opera House Thursday, September the 14th as part of the Just for Laughs Sydney Festival. That is going to be very, very exciting. A few tickets left but it's selling quickly. Come to the Opera House. See us at the Opera House. Insane. It's going to be great.

I can't wait for that little trip. That's going to be really fun. Again we're going to have huge guests. It's going to be us in the most prestigious venue we've ever done before. So don't miss this show. Getting to see this idiocy happen in the Opera House is something pretty special

I reckon. And great guests. Yes, yes. And, of course, after that we have the only gig we're doing in Melbourne for the year. We're doing an extra big extravaganza. We're doing our Moon V June. We're doing Lawrence Mooney and Fiona O'Loughlin one-on-one, except it's two one-on-ones.

Button heads and bumpin' uglies live on stage. I don't know what either of that means. Saturday, October the 21st at the Croxton Park Hotel, heads and bumping uglies live on stage i don't know what either of that means saturday october the 21st at the croxton park hotel uh the massive venue where we did our 300th episode last year it's selling like crazy it will i reckon it'll sell out by the time we get to it what do you think i'm not sure how they look i'm looking at the capacity i'm looking at the the forms that they're sending me we are well over halfway uh sold. So it is certainly selling very well. But it's like it's a band venue.

It's huge. So I reckon we can just cram as many people as we can in there. And the vibe last year with it full for the 300th was great. And we want that again. So get in. Get on it. Look, I think we're going to outsell last year. It's going to be – this is literally going to be our biggest show.

So it's going to be heaps of fun. It's in the same venue as last time if you went last year. It's going to be – this is literally going to be our biggest show. So it's going to be heaps of fun. It's in the same venue as last time if you went last year. It's going to be massive. We're going to be, you know, hanging out and drinking and stuff like that afterwards. So – and there's cool food around that area. So make it a real Saturday night out, heaps of fun. And, you know, we don't usually announce our guests like we've been saying. So you know what you're in for here.

You know it's going to be a special one. Great. So get onto that, littledunlumclub.com for all those tickets. Add all of these live shows. And also on our website we have leftover merch from the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival that we have just slashed. Prices are being slashed, Carl. Yeah, Crazy Tommy and Crazy Carl's Discount T-Shirt Centre.

What we're doing is we've got all the T-shirts on sale, the normal ones. We've got the restocked Aware Of T the normal ones we've got the restocked aware of t-shirts we've got the burger logo t-shirts we've got a few 043H shirts left

we've got and yeah like you said most importantly the elephant design for the the elephant in the room yeah

the elephant load of fucking t-shirts I've got left in my room we've discounted them so get on the website all the t-shirts for've got left in my room. We've discounted them so get on the website all the t-shirts for 30 bucks except for that one

it is 20 bucks and so we just want to get rid of the last of those ones because they're a little bit date stamped. So if you went to Koh Samui and you want a memory of that

please grab a shirt if you just like a cool shirt do that. You know you see plenty of people walking around with Rolling Stones 1977 tour t-shirts on.

It's retro now. You're right. It's a retro. It's a real collector's item. It was naff while it was happening, but now it's cool. Yeah. It is. And I promise we will not be reprinting this shirt. Yes. This is the last chance you have of getting this one.

Look, we've cried wolf several times before. We're like, oh, we're never going to do a thing like this again. This will not be the case with these t-shirts. I promise. Once they are gone, they are gone. No more reprints of 2017 Costa Mui Podcast Festival t-shirts. And of course, look, you know, with it getting warmer soon, we've got the singlets on sale as well, which are not date stamps,

so they're timeless. They're just a dum-dum. They look a bit like a beer logo, but the Dum Dum logo singlet. A certain Indonesian beer. So they're there. You know what? Just go to the website. Have a browse around the little merch section.

Yeah. Buy one of everything just to be sure. We also need to say thank you as always to the people who chip in on Patreon to support the show. We send out a bonus magazine. We send out a bonus episode once a month so if you'd like to kick in and help keep this show going you can get these cool rewards as our way of saying thank you

part of which is us reading your name out at the start of a show now there's speculation online that some of these names are made up this is like a bit that we're doing who said that? I've seen a bit of internet chatter and we do want to stress that all of these names that we read out are 100 genuine real people what would be the point of reading

out made up names honestly what an absolute waste of our lives that would be to sit here and invent people that contribute to the show we are busy people if we did that we'd be borderline psychopaths sitting here creating names of people who've given us money. I mean, my God. Yeah, that's just dumb. Anyway, first up. So how many should we do today?

I've gotten four. Let's do four. Oh, no, you know what? I'll whack another one on. Yeah, we may as well do five. All right. We're not under any time pressure. We may as well do one.

Okay. We normally do four, I think. But if we do five today. Let's mix it up. Let's do five. So thank you. Thank you to everyone that do one. Okay. We normally do four, I think. But if we do five today. Let's mix it up. Let's do five. So thank you. Thank you to everyone that chips in. Yes.

It really is appreciated and it makes us. If we were getting no money for this show, this show would be fucking dust. Bang. You reckon we'd have given up by now? Surely. If we were getting no money whatsoever. Wouldn't you? Well, I don't know, man.

I don't have a lot of other things going on. All right. That's a good inspiration for everyone to not chip in money. All right. But thank you to everyone. But in particular, these five people this week. So, number one, thank you to Patreon subscriber, Nath Morrison. Nath Morrison.

Yeah, not Nathan. He's abbreviated it for us already. It is Nath. I like that. Yeah, you don't see, oh no, Nathan's pretty cool still. It's one of those rare names where I think it's equally as good in its extended form as it is condensed. Nah, for me, I knew some fucking idiots in school called Nathan. Really? So to me, Nathan's one of those names. It's Nath or Bust. Yeah, Nath is like an attempt at not being the idiot that I knew at school. There was a Nathan at school that his nickname was Tree Fucker. I won't tell you how he got that nickname.

I'll let your imagination run wild with that one. Now that sounds like the sort of person who normally chips into this Patreon. Oh, that's great okay so that i mean in an event like that like how are you letting that get out did he get busted or i to be honest i think he was this is the worst way of getting that nickname right he got forced like i think he got grabbed and made to do it oh it's real bad. And then he gets a nickname off the back of it? It's bad. So what someone has done is they've thought, wouldn't it be funny if we could call that guy Tree Fucker?

Yeah. But we can't just invent it out of nowhere. So then they've coerced him into fucking a tree just to, like, work backwards. Reverse engineered it. Yeah, yeah. Wow. I don't know how you make someone fuck a tree, but yeah, that was the story I got.

Like you dress the tree up like a sexy lady and try and trick them. Oh, is this like a Bugs Bunny judging? Yeah. Oh, okay. They put lipstick on a tree. That's why Bugs Bunny dressed up like a woman, to trick people into fucking him. Bugs, you dirty old slut.

I love the idea of an elm with lipstick on. Yes. We're saying that we want people to like go and graffiti toilet walls with references to this show. Maybe that can be the next thing, writing the little dum-dum club in lipstick on your nearest pine tree. Just putting a big pair of lips on a tree and then waiting. And someone walking their dog just going,

Fuck, Nath, we've got you again. Nath, you've done it again. Thanks for chipping in, Nath. Thanks, Nath. Thanks, tree fucker. Now, this Nath Morrison, I don't believe that that is the same Nath, but you know what? Unless he's got married and taken his partner's name.

Could happen, 2017. And sure, why wouldn't you change your name if you were previously known as Tree Fucker? Yes. Could be. Thanks, Nathan. So you think taking your partner's name when you get married, that absolves all of your nicknames as well? Yeah.

That's pretty good. Well, that's his way of shaking the tail. That's not bad, yeah. You know that thing we've talked about where you grow up, you get out of high school and you just move to another town and you go, I'm reinventing myself. So he's immediately got married, stopped fucking trees and is shaking the tail.

That's great if it's a compulsion that he can't stop. So he moves, no one knows it and he just can't help himself. His new identity, once again he gets busted fucking a tree. He's moved to the Sahara Desert just to make sure. Yeah, cactus fucker. No. No. I've done it again.

No, in both ways. No, physically and mentally. Thanks, Nath. Thanks again, Nath. Thank you to Patrons of Scrub. Now, I'm not sure if we've read her name yet. My records don't. There may be a few holes in my records.

Your proven to be frequently incorrect records don't show this to be the case. It's reasonably accurate. But if we haven't read your name out before, we should have. And if not, here it is. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Annette McTaggart. Yeah, sounds familiar. She's certainly a frequent user of social media. She's a repeat offender on social media,

so it's hard to tell whether that's influencing me here. Big fan of it. A lot going on. Fun to say. Fun to say and fun to read. Annette McTaggart. It's like a little theme park of letters. There's a lot going on.

It feels like a rhyming slang for a very offensive word. Is that unfair? That's just a fact. Yeah, I'm going to say that's unfair to Annette, to the community to which you're referring to, and to me because I'm part of this show and now I'm having to wear the stench of what you've just said. Thanks, Annette.

Thanks. I mean, I don't know why you're so offended, but I'm sure I'm thinking of a different word than you are. McTaggart fucker. Yeah. I'm saying that's rhyming slang for braggart. Oh, right. That bad thing.

Yeah, yeah. That's a bad thing. Braggart. Braggart. Like, you don't want to be going around going on about yourself all the time. No, you don't. Yeah. You know, he's a bit of an Annette McTaggart. Yeah, yeah. That's a bad thing. Brag it. Like you don't want to be going around going on about yourself all the time. Yeah, no, you don't. Yeah. You know, he's a bit of an Annette McTaggart.

Yeah, yeah. Always going on about himself. Dirty, dirty brag it. Check out Annette over here. Can't stop talking about, talking themselves up. I mean, I don't know why that's so offensive to the community and why there's a stench attached to you now, but all right, fair enough. I mean, you know, they get… You feel real kins to you now. But all right, fair enough. I mean, you know, they get…

You feel real kinship with arrogant people. All right, fair enough. They get sensitive. You know, you don't know what you're allowed to say anymore and I don't want the braggarts of the world kind of firing up over this. Okay, all right, all right. Well, I guess, you know, 50 years ago being… Stop.

All right. Stop. All right. Move on. All right. Thanks, Annette. Thanks, Annette. Thanks, inverted commas, Annette. Stop Alright Stop Alright Move on Alright Thanks Annette Thanks Annette Thanks inverted commas Annette

That's number two Number three Thank you to Patreon subscriber Ali Gardiner Ah okay And I pronounce that because it's not Gardiner There's a sneaky I in there That's it Gardiner

Turning it into a three syllable surname Gardiner Gardiner I like it Ali Ally Oh no she's an ally Yeah That's it, Gardiner. Turning it into a three-syllable surname. Gardiner. Gardiner. I like it. I like it. Oh, ally. Oh, no, she's an ally.

Well, it's A-L-L-Y. She's an ally of this show. Yeah. You know, she's putting in money. Yep. She's kind of with us in the trenches of content. Yeah. She's, instead of getting up and firing at the enemy,

she's turning around and firing money at us. I'd like to believe that she'll be first in line on our defence when the braggarts of the world turn on us after this atrocity that we've committed in the introduction. When we get in the paper and on talkback radio. When all the blogs are just absolutely letting rip on us, she'll be there at our defence going, nah, you know what, they're good guys. And yes, I put in money, so technically that makes me some kind of shareholder, but look, they're good guys trying their best.

It was a misstep by them. They didn't mean to say the BR word. That's not cool anymore to say that word. The BR word. So that means that there's just a B word. There's multiple B words so you need to differentiate. Yes. Yes, right.

It's like when I was in school, there was another Carl with Carl C, so I had to be Carl C-H, you know. Wait. Oh, right. Okay. So you've got to be very definitive about it. I thought you meant he was Carl with a C, so that meant your Carl with a C-H. It's like, no, well, that's Charles.

This is the dumbest school I've ever heard of. Charles. The primary school was run, the teachers were also primary schools. Charles Chandler. Yeah, it's a real snake-eating-itself approach. Very dumb. Thanks, Ally. Thanks, Ally.

Thank you to Patreon subscriber. Wow, this is an interesting... I've never seen this first name before, but here we go. Thank you to Markan Matha. Markan Matha. Markan Matha. Boy. M-A-R-C-A-N. This is one of those ones where I do not at all care to speculate

on what nationality this person is. Right. This could be anything. Don't you think? Is this Marshall Matha's relation? Did he spill mum's spaghetti on his first name and fuck it up? We constantly make jokes about people being related on this thing to famous people because they have the same first name.

There's a compelling case to be made for the idea that we have no idea how relationships work. Well, no, but this is last name, Mather. Mather. Yeah, exactly. It's not the same thing. Boy, I wish that was the case case though that you were related to people who just their names sounded kind of similar to yours yeah that would be cool yeah well that's happened before where like don bradman's son changed his name

his last name slightly just just to make sure no one knew his dad was the greatest cricketer of all time well maybe he has changed his surname just just taking a consonant off the end of it. Yeah. Just so they don't know that his brothers were the greatest white rapper of all time. And so he'd be fuming now that we've added him on this. Well, maybe. I mean, he's already changed his first name

to something that doesn't make any sense. Mark Hannon. Thought he could throw us off the scent, but look off the scent. But, you know, he wasn't quick enough to outsmart the world's two greatest detectives. Exactly, especially with names and surnames because we deal with them a lot. We know inside out how these naming procedures work now. We're kind of experts at this point.

We've been doing this bit of the show for like a year and a half now. We should work for the Yellow Pages or something. We deal a lot with names. We should do something with this. That'd be great. Abandon the podcast for a thing that is this close to going out of business. This near obsolete phone book.

Let's get in on the ground floor of that. Let's move from something that doesn't make much money to something that doesn't make much money and is about to make even less. Thanks. Thanks. What is it? Martian?

Mark Ann Mather. Mark Ann Mather. Thanks, Mark. Thanks, Mark Ann Mather. Thanks, Marky Mark. All right. So that's one, two, three, four. Fifth one coming up.

Okay. And this is the last one. This is the last one for this week. Because we're doing five. Okay, great. Yeah. Last one for this week. Great.

Or the fifth one. Yeah. Okay. Thank you to... All right. Okay. All right. Yeah, last one for this week. Great. Or the fifth one. Yeah. Okay, thank you to – all right. Okay, all right. Well, let's just do this. Look, I tend to have a few questions before I read them out, and I should and I should just get into it and just say it and then we can examine it.

But, you know, just sometimes I get stumped. It throws me a little bit off. But anyway. Often I wonder what you're doing and I go, why is he wasting so much time in the lead up to this? Yeah. But then you read it out and I realise that you absolutely, you know, you were totally justified in doing that. All right.

Look, let's just, I'll read it out and then we discuss. Great, please. Okay. Thank you to Patreon subscriber DrDoctorComedy. Okay. Yeah. So this is a person named DrComedy who has studied and received their doctorate. Upon looking at it, I assume that that is the case.

Sometimes there's a bit of a backstory attached to these last ones because this is presumably another member of the comedy family. Yes. Often what these guys like to do is they include a little bit of information about themselves attached to it. Do we have anything like that or is that all we've got? I believe that this is – now, you know, some people on social media have made a family tree of all these members

of the comedy family. And I haven't looked in recently. Is that continuing to be updated? I haven't seen one for a couple of weeks, but I don't expect someone to do it every single week. I do. Right. Okay, well, get on it, idiots. If they're going gonna go to all this money of effort of chipping in the money to

the show yeah the least that the fans could do is show them a bit of goddamn respect should we have that should we have the family tree pinned to the facebook page every week just just to we'll update it then put it back up yes all right all right we'll do that from now on maybe. So Dr. Dr. Comedy, I believe that you are right in saying that the person was born Dr. Comedy and then that has inspired – Mr. Dr. Comedy. Yeah. That has inspired him to then go and get his doctorate. So now he is the double.

It's not a double degree. It's just a double doctor. Yes. Or a double doctorate maybe. So I believe he is some sort of a double doctor. Yes. Or a double doctorate, maybe. So I believe he is some sort of brother of Mr. Comedy. So right, so now there's

three comedy brothers. There's Mr. Comedy. There's Uncle Comedy. Yes. Who is gay. Oh yeah, right. That's right. And now there's Dr. Comedy. Yeah.

Well, there's a case to be made that there's two uncle – there's Uncle Comedy and his gay husband, Steve. Yeah, sure, but I'm talking related by blood. I'm talking the descendants of Grandfather Comedy. Sure. Who is still alive. Yep. Well, we think because he chipped in money.

We never worked out if that was his ghost chipping in money or not. Right. chipped in money. We never worked out if that was his ghost chipping in money or not. And so, I mean, we don't know, do we have any idea of the sexual persuasion of Dr. Dr. Comedy? No, for some reason he hasn't included that, which is weird.

Well, I mean, hopefully we'll find out down the line. Maybe there'll be a Mrs. Dr. Comedy. Or a Mr. Dr. Comedy. Or a Dr. Mr. Comedy. Dr. Comedies. Comedy. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or a Mr. Dr. Comedy. Yeah. Or a Dr. Mr. Comedy. Dr. Comedy's anyway. Dr. Nurse

Comedy. Yes. Yes. Yeah. So thank you once again to the comedy family for chipping in and thank you to inexplicably I gotta say it sounds a little bit like Dr. Comedy makes it sound like what he does

Is he fixes up sick comedy Right Which ironically this segment here Is very much in need of his services I choose to just say that The comedy family is very very generous No I agree I'm just along for the ride You're an outsider looking in.

Yeah, yeah. I'm not coming at this with any kind of judgment or criticism or anything. I'm just happy to be part of it. Maybe you should have given them the sort of money that comes in from this family. Just don't upset them. I'm not trying to. God. If we put the comedy family offside, do you know how much money we'll lose?

Jesus Christ. What are we up to at this point? How many of them are there? We get thousands of dollars a week thanks to the comedy family. And you've never been able to answer me this, but I'd love to know are they all chipping in different amounts or have they kind of agreed upon like a family average or something? All the same.

All the same amount, which is how much? $69. $69. I'm going to do the maths right now. So how many of them are there? So we've got Mr. Comedy, Mrs. Comedy, Little Miss Comedy, Master Comedy, Mittens Comedy, The Comedy Cat, Uncle Comedy, Uncle Comedy's gay husband, Steve, Grandpa Comedy.

Now we've got Dr. Dr. Comedy. We've got Rebecca Jones Comedy. Rebecca Jones Comedy, Rebecca Jones Comedy. Uncle Med Comedy. So there is a fourth one. There's a fourth brother. There's Comedy Comedy, remember? Yes, that's 12 now.

That was Uncle Comedy's adopted African kid. Yes, yes. That's 12. Was there a comedy dog at some point? There was a little Miss Comedy. Did you do that? Yeah, I counted her. And Master Comedy.

Master Comedy counted him. Yeah. I think that might – is that it? No, there little Miss Comedy. Did you do her? Yeah, I counted her. And Master Comedy. Master Comedy counted him. Yeah. I think that might – is that it? No, there was Oprah Comedy. Oprah Comedy. There was Wobbsy and Wodsy Comedy. So that's 15. Yeah. I love Simple Comedy.

Love Simple Comedy, 16. Right. So 16 by $69. We make $1,104 off the comedy family every month. Wow. Yeah. Thank you. Look, you know what?

It's a challenge to other people to get their family to chip in that much because that is – This can be like family feud. We can pit other families against each other. That's the bar that's been set. Just over $1,100 a month. If you think your family can beat that, then by all means, get onto patreon.com

slash little dum-dum club and tell the comedies where to stick it. Yeah. And it would really help. I mean, we appreciate your money, but if you're a family with a lot of people with sort of slightly amusing names, that'd really help as well. Yeah, totally. I mean, I always like the bit at the start of This American Life where they read out the drama family that have been contributing to them.

You know, I think that's an exciting part of that show. Man, that would really fuck their podcast up. Uncle Mead Drama sponsoring an episode of This American Life. All right, thanks to everyone who chips in to the show. We really appreciate it. All those real people, all five of those real people. LittleDumbDumbClub.com for tickets to Perth, Sydney, and our Melbourne shows.

Discounts on the Koh Samui t-shirts. Also, a quick shout-out to the little Facebook group that we have. I mean, we're on the social medias. We're on Instagram, we're on Facebook, we're on Twitter, and we now have this sort of private group on Facebook called People Aware of Little Dumb Dumb Club. We've got a heap of private group on Facebook called People Aware of Little Dum Dum Club. We've got a heap of people in there. And, you know, perhaps they may have been the inspiration of this week's fifth Patreon subscriber.

Okay. As in they – it was like a grassroots campaign where they sort of started hitting up. They were kind of looking online. They were doing some Facebook stalking. And they were like, this guy seems to be related. Yes. He's not chipping in. Yeah, that's what I mean.

Yes. They looked up to be related. Yes. He's not chipping in. Yeah, that's what I mean. Yes. They looked up Ancestry.com. They found a member of the family hadn't chipped in before, so they've asked them. We're slowly turning into the worst improv group of all time. So we've said it before, but I'll say it again, space jump off the West Gate. All right, guys, littledumbdumbclub.com for links to all that stuff

and enjoy this week's episode. Hey, mates, welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo, and sitting opposite me is the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day, dickhead. Very special guest today. We are doing this downstairs in the salubrious surrounds of a very nice hotel. Joining us today, he's in the middle of his Mystic Timebird tour as part of the Just for Laughs Festival Australia.

It's Rhys Darby. Yeah. Woo. Thank you. Thanks, guys. Please sit down. Sit down. You in the corner there. Man. Stop it Thank you. Thanks, guys. Please sit down. Sit down. You in the corner there.

Man. Stop it. You're actually hurting me. Thank you. So that wasn't him clapping. That was him slapping you on the leg. Yeah, slapping me on the, I mean, please. Just a one-handed guy that's really into you, so he can't clap.

He's just hitting you. Yeah. You heard of the old thigh slap. He does it to the other guy. He just does it to me. He's got it wrong. Just sit down. Slapping old thigh slap. He does it to the other guy. He just does it to me. He's got it wrong. Just sit down. Slapping someone else's thigh, that's how good it is.

Yeah, and he sits on his own hand for a while. And then he slaps him. It doesn't make any difference, I don't know. It's good. If it's not a live show, it's still just good in a regular recording to just have one person kind of hanging out in the corner, you know, just as a bit of a barometer of how it's going, you know. Yeah, yeah.

A mute guy. Yeah. Man, it is a rare podcast for us we're usually recording this in some godforsaken back alley somewhere and we've been or we've been offered like perrier water twice this is really throwing us off our dickhead game in here yeah when you say some godforsaken back alley my share house that i live in so thanks tell us what you really feel to be fair i think i'm talking it up a little bit. But yeah, lovely to have you in. You're in the middle of a big

tour and I know you've been doing a big press junket, so I know you've been looking at this particular gig going, I cannot wait to do someone's fucking podcast. Yeah, this has been on the diary for almost five minutes now. We did. We just narrowly snuck in at the end of the junket

And it's been great to see all the other press that you've done here so far And kind of go, okay, well, don't ask him about being in the army That seems like that's come up a fair few times already And the thing about Bird being in the title of the show Probably striked that off the list Yeah Are you feeling at the moment like Because it is that thing where you do a tour or whatever that has a weird name

and you know you're going to get a lot of the same questions again and again. And all the stuff at the top of your Wikipedia page is probably mined pretty well by now. So you're 43. Tell us about that. Well, it's age basically. Yeah, but we've just been to Montreal. We just went to Montreal, the comedy festival there. And we saw...

You said it in that way, like, where you're from. Turns out you didn't read that Wikipedia page. Montreal, New Zealand, yeah, yeah, for sure. We just saw... We actually saw Jim Carrey there, who you've done a movie with, that you do Yes Man with. Now, can I ask this I don't want to wreck any chances of Yes Man 2 And you don't have to say anything against him

But we saw him and just went He was doing a talk on his sitcom Or not his sitcom His sort of HBO show The show that he produces Yeah yeah yeah I'm dying up here And is he weird recently

Or has he always been that weird? Like, he came out and did a speech where he sort of, like, got to the end of a talk and everyone was like, you so understand it. Well, obviously you must be thinking about getting back into it. And he just sort of said something like, well, it's really hard to do stand-up when you don't exist as a person anymore and you're just molecules floating around in space.

And everyone was like, here comes the joke. And he went, end of interview. Yeah, I'm not sure. I mean, I think going off his Twitter feed, I guess, over the last few years, I mean, he's pretty random. I don't know how, he's probably always been like that. I'm not sure. I mean, I only had close contact with him, you know, during a movie shoot and he was

fairly normal there with me. No molecules, chat? No, very few molecules. He was still a real person back then? Yeah, he was. I mean, we talked about comedy. We talked about our comedy heroes, about Peter Sellers. We talked about he's been asked many times to remake Peter Sellers' movies

and has said no every time. I'm not going to change. If something's made perfectly, you don't do another version of it. And then we talked about Steve Martin, who has, of course, remade the Pink Panther films and things like that. And, yeah, he was nothing but lovely to me.

And, you know, I'm always a huge Jim Carrey fan. But, you know, we're talking about the weirdness. That doesn't really surprise me. You've got to be a bit weird to be that wacky. Yeah, sure. So, yeah. I found with him the way he was talking was like he's kind of still the right side of weird. The things he says, you go, that's pretty out there, but there's still – I kind of get what you're going at.

Like he hasn't crossed over into full blown what is this guy on about you know what I mean which I love that's good and you've got to think about his career and you know he was the biggest thing in comedy for so long and still is in my mind and he

demanding that sort of 20 million dollars for a movie kind of thing he was the one who broke the ceiling on that. I think it was with... Cable Guy. The Cable Guy. He was the biggest paycheck ever at that point. And just being that and then dealing with...

None of us will know what that's like. Well, speak for yourself. I say that when I'm just sitting here looking at you guys. It's a lot of... Well, speak for yourself. I say that when I'm just sitting here looking at you guys. For people that have been blown away by being offered water, that's a fair take. Yeah, the guy came over and went, still all sparkling, and we went, sparkling? You mean lemonade?

I'm putting it this way. He's working on a different plane. And he's been that way for a long time. And that's got to create a bit of havoc in your head. It's like when people have stories about, man, I was tour manager for Elton John when he was out here three years ago and, man, he was a bit loopy. It's like, how could you not be?

It would be more kind of freaky if he was just like total down to earth, absolutely normal guy. It's like in stand-up comedy, you know, you have one gig and you come out the back of the gig and go, I am actually king dick at the moment. And that's like you got laughed from 50 people. Imagine what it's like to get... Settle down, mate. And some of those jokes weren't yours.

Doesn't even have to be 50. 31 of them laughed and you're like, yeah, I'm the king of the room. I can see some folded arms, but they don't matter. But the thing that Jim Carrey was saying that I really liked was he goes, I don't know how I would do stand-up now because when you do stand-up, you're a salesperson and the thing that you're selling is yourself. And so I don't believe that Jim Carrey exists anymore. So what would my material be?

You know when you're everything to everyone? And I'm like, I think that sounds pretty good. I'd pay to see him do that. And he's also going, yeah, I don't know how I'd do stand-up. After he's just commanded, like, applause from everyone in the room, every time he just arches an eyebrow, everyone wets themselves. It's like, yeah, I don't know how you would do stand-up, buddy. You are lost.

Yeah. So I wanted to say this, Rhys, because I reckon it's maybe 10 years ago, almost to the day that I saw you do comedy for the first time I was at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and Flight of the Conchords had just started in the States I think I'd been a naughty little boy and gotten an illegal

download of the first episode Oh okay, actually that was on MySpace Yeah that's right I put the first one free on MySpace So you weren't that naughty Actually when you said 10 years ago on MySpace. They put the first one free on MySpace. Yeah, wow. So you weren't that naughty. What a time, yeah. Oh, I'm on MySpace! Actually, when you said ten years ago, I'm like, that's not that long ago. As soon as you said

MySpace, I'm like, fuck, that's ages ago. That dates it worse than saying ten years. Well, I'd watched it by hacking into someone else's MySpace account. So still pretty naughty. But yeah, you were in Edinburgh and I think you put on a show like at the last minute. Yeah, that's right. You had like a photocopied flyer and you were like upstairs in some like pretty tiny room.

But yeah, that show was really great. Me and some characters it was called. Yeah, it was great. But you were also over there doing something that I don't know if this still happens. Phil Nicol and his comedian's drama company thing that he does. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Well, it was a play. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know whether that was his company, but it was a play that we were all in. It was like an army play. It was kind of a serious play. Yeah, with Adam Hills and Sammy J, I think, was in it as well. Yeah, that's right. We were all soldiers.

But I think it was Phil Nicol used to – I think his thing was every year it's like Edinburgh's on and it's this comedy festival, so let's also do a thing in the middle of this where we have some comedians from the festival taking part in a dramatic play. A bit of a sorbet, a bit of a cleansing of the palate. Yeah, and I remember that play that you were doing, people going, this is really good, and people being surprised by it because most years it's like,

oh, that's right, comedians can't act. Right. Yeah, right, yeah. So they're trying to do a bit of tragedy, but it's just like, it's no good. I mean, that was a long time ago. I remember, yeah, I had a tough year that year. I think that might have been the year, yeah,

where I had something physically wrong with me. I had a lot of rashes on my legs. I lost a lot of weight. I thought I had Ebola for a second there. Yeah, it was quite full on. In Edinburgh, getting Ebola in Edinburgh? Yeah. What are the chances? Oh, pretty high I reckon these days.

You don't know what's floating around there in the sewers. Yeah, so, but at the same time, there was a Matt Kirshen comic. He had to cancel his season because I think he got some work in America. He might have even got – there might have been the point where he was part of – well, it's the TV show. I think it was Last Comic Standing.

Yeah, Last Comic Standing. So he jumped out of his position in Edinburgh. All of a sudden, his room became available. So I kind of part did him a favour by utilising the room and part giving myself a bit of fun anyway, knowing that the Concordes show was just starting. All those MySpace fanatics like me. Yeah, exactly.

Coming out of the show and going, this guy's great. I've got to put him in my top ten. So good. So I just quickly, hurriedly put together a little show, chucked some flyers down and ran up to that room and, yeah, played some characters and had some fun. Where one of them was a guy who believes he's been abducted by aliens. That's right.

Yep, Steve Whittle. Yeah, and it slowly comes out that the aliens have perhaps interfered with him. Well, yeah, it's never been proven. It was a different time back then. Yeah, it's a different time. His sensibilities were different. Is that the triple X-Files?

That would have been a good idea. This is the thing. My girlfriend was very excited to find out that we were talking to you today and I was like, oh, you love Flight of the Conchords. She's like, yeah. I'm like, oh, yes, man. And she's like, yeah. I'm like, she's like, no, she's a huge X-Files fan.

And so because you were in an episode of the recent remake of that. That's right. Although, sorry, the revival, I should say, not remake. Yeah, yeah. Which you were a big fan of the show leading into that? Absolutely. I mean, of course, the genre, the paranormal is my bag, always has been.

And yeah, big X-Files fan. It was very weird getting that part because I felt like it was something to do with the Written in the Stars. It was the zeitgeist. It was like, yes, I should be in this. But why would Rhys, you know, this little kid from New Zealand,

get a part in the biggest show on television? They saw that Edinburgh show and they were like, this is it. Yeah, or they'd listen to my Cryptid Factor podcast or something that I do about, you know, monsters. And there I am. Or maybe just your talent. Maybe it's even that.

You know, you could be right. You could be right. But I didn't think like that. The one-armed man over there loves it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ah, stop it. That's enough. A couple more.

Thank you. So, yeah. And I played a lizard man, you know. And so, I was very lucky that that was a really cool ep. It was highly regarded. And then I got to play a cryptid creature from another realm. And you fought Mulder in it, didn't you? Yeah, there was a fight scene.

Yeah. Which I got cut in real life. I got a cut from, got a scar. And then it kind of, it's healed a bit now, but it's actually in the shape of an X. Oh, really? Wow. Really freaky.

It's between those fingers there. Oh, right. Wow. Yeah. Just showing that. Oh, wow. Yeah, that is crazy. That's a great story to come back.

Ah, stop that. To come back from the X-Files and go, how was it? Oh, I got cut. Oh, I'm so sorry, man. They're not going to use your scene. Like, no, no, physically. Physically, Mulder cut me on set.

And that's better than having a tattoo of, like, a memorable experience. You've got a free tattoo out. You've got a body mark. That's funny because I read that where you were saying, you know, you had that fight scene and everything and it's like, oh, man, it's like a dream come true for any X-Files fan. It's like, is that the dream for X-Files fans to fight Mulder? Like, aren't they supposed to love him, not try and bash Mulder?

I guess in a way just to be in an intense scene with him, talking about weird stuff. And, of course, the other thing I did was, you know, I was in quite an intense scene with Scully. Oh, really? Yeah, where the two of us were sort of getting it on in the cupboard. Oh, are you serious? So that's the one that the real fanboys salivated over.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I couldn't believe my luck. Yeah. Is that a lot of pressure going into something that you're a big fan of, you know, leading into it where you're like you don't want to do a bad job, you don't want the internet to fire up and go, this guy fucked the show. Exactly. No, that's the most pressure high thing I've done, I think.

Imagine if like that cut that Mulder gave you, if you had to go to the doctor because of it and then it's this big insurance claim and it ends up sinking the show. Something like that. Some blunder on set where you just get it taken off the air. I've met someone that did that.

He used to come around and brag about how much he loved this football club in town here in Melbourne and he's like, oh, he used to come around and brag about how much he loved this football club in town here in Melbourne and he's like, oh, he's this fanatic and then he, the club cancelled

a gig of his and he's like, well, that's it, I'm taking him to court. Really? Yeah, and he was like,

still this fanatic, he'd come and talk up, it's like, you can't love the club if you are suing them for tens of thousands of dollars anymore. Yeah.

People are just so opportunistic. Yeah. We were talking recently to a New Zealand comic, Guy Montgomery. Oh, yes. Who mentioned in our chat with him that they went over to the LA and they crashed with you. Yeah. Is this a true story? I wasn't there.

You mean they stayed at my place? Yeah. Yeah, they definitely did. I think I was in Fiji at that time. Right. But yeah, I'm quite close with Guy and Tim. Well, because we were just over in L.A., you know, hopefully stuff takes off and we get to do more stuff like that.

How well does this interview need to continue to go for us to be able to, you know, next time you're in Barbados or whatever, us to get the old keys to the old Derby B&B? Well, he definitely didn't give you the address, did he? I want to make sure that. He gave us the general area. He told us LA, so it can't be that hard. Oh, good, good.

He said he can see the Hollywood sign from there. Is that accurate? Yeah, yeah, that's the one. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, look, it's definitely not an open-door policy. But we'll see how things go, guys. I'm feeling good. It is, like you said, we were talking about before,

about you meeting people and stuff like that. This is genuine. This is a great you said, we were talking about it before, about you meeting people and stuff like that. This is genuine. This is a great part of the show for me personally where when you meet someone that you already knew of and enjoyed before you started comedy. Like, you know, for me, I started comedy after Flight of the Conchords. So to meet you and people like you, it's like, oh, awesome. Because once I feel like when I meet people that have gotten big

since I started comedy, I'm like, oh, you're just like me. So you're not like me. You're like, you're a proper comedian in my eyes. I'm like, oh, this is great. Justin Bieber, he's just like me. He's not technically comedy. We're the same. Him and I.

He's just got more Lamborghinis. But I love the thing of Flight of the Conchords where for a show that was like so big in America, I love the thing of Flight of the Conchords where for a show that was like so big in America, you know, this big HBO show, there's to be such a focus on the Australian-New Zealand relationship. I really love that that was going out to those guys where Americans are probably like, what the fuck? I don't even know who. Don't you both sound the same? It sounds like you're from the same place anyway.

But to like Australia and New Zealand is obviously very, very enjoyable. Yeah. That was really interesting actually because I think that was something we really wanted to put in the show was that, you know, we were there to make comedy for ourselves and you can either get on board or not. We don't care. It's kind of like we were just lucky that the novelty factor

of the sheer idea that the rivalry between two countries that no one cares about would be funny. And so it was. Because we just copped it flat out. We were just there for like two weeks and everywhere you went, an American person going, oh, yeah, you're like Flight of the Conchords from New Zealand. Oh, that's great.

They sound so different. Like when you're from here, it's like the craziest thing you could ever think to say. And it's a weird thing to see like that New Zealand act like that towards Australia because, you know, I think Australia, we think that about the rest of the world and go, oh, we're the ones, we're the little guys, we're the put-apart ones. And we're like, oh, hang on, someone else is doing our thing. Someone else is lower on the totem pole, I think, than us and going us and whatever. Is that how it really feels for New Zealanders?

Oh, yeah. And, of course, you know, there's always a smaller fish. Yeah, yeah, sure. You look at some of the islands in Fiji and stuff, and they must look up to New Zealand. Oh, you big guys, look at you. There's a Cook Island version of Flight of the Conchords where they're ripping into you guys.

It just gets bigger and bigger, doesn't it? Yeah, so that's what I was going to ask you because you've been based in LA for a few years now and I mean, just us being over there, I feel like it's, you know, the New Zealand sensibility is pretty similar to the Australian sensibility where I guess we're a bit more grounded and then you get to the States and there's these very, especially in show business, these big personalities and, you know, we just at montreal where a big focus of it is hanging out in the bars and networking and and people people will come and say to you oh you're doing some good networking which if you said that to someone here you'd be saying it ironically tongue-in-cheek they like

mean it's like no no get out there and network it's like what does that even mean like we got obsessed with a manager that we met called reg Tigerman, which is just such a great American manager. It sounds like something you should have been doing in Edinburgh 10 years ago. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, Reg Tigerman. But how did you – did you meet any like kind of over-the-top agency types when you first got to LA? Yeah, I mean because of I guess if I could say so my status thanks to the

Concords and then I just started to get movies and things. You know, I ended up, I sort of was dropped in with the big boys in terms of the managers and I already had, I was with a good agency because I just jumped on the back of what the Concords, they were with CAA, so I got CAA as well. And then when I moved to LA, I had the pick of managers. So I actually did like a week's worth of going around to all the different management companies

and deciding who I wanted to be my manager. And they were just having coffee with me and really selling themselves. It was the weirdest thing. And some of them were giving me gifts. And here's a key ring. Don't forget to call us. I had to choose my manager.

And did you go off the best gift? What sort of swag did you get? Oh, like an inflatable pillow. I think there was a key ring. What sort of person gets swayed into a new management by an inflatable pillow? Something they give away on the plane. Is that what it was?

Did it have cornice on the bottom of it? I can't really remember. It was soft to the touch. But I ended up just going with whoever I related to the most. And it was whoever was the biggest comedy geeks, really, the people who I felt that knew the essence of what I was, which was not much at that point, but I was alternative. And, you know, people would say, like some of the

management companies would go, like, you know, we've got, you know, we've got Jim Carrey on our books. We've got other big names. I can't remember any right now. On our books, you know, you probably get to meet them and that kind of thing. I was like, oh, yeah, but I, you know, I don't care. So, you know. That's great. That's a great fallback for not getting you work. It's like, I haven't had any auditions in six months.

Well, to be fair, you did get to meet Rob Schoen. So let's just chill out here. So those are some of the strategies they were using rather than just like understanding who I was and they've actually looked at some of my footage. They've gone through, you know, on YouTube, checked out all my old sketches. They know a bit about me.

And so it's whoever really did the most homework and whoever has sort of cared enough. Yeah, sure. And then you had to use your own mouse to sort of realise, you know, who you'd fit in with. Yeah. And so I made the right choice. And best pillow, obviously.

Yeah. Actually, I went with a guy who gave me the key ring. Oh, right. Okay, there's a tip. It was a bottle opener key ring, so you can't go past that. There you go, bang. That is an Australasian hot tip there. Yeah.

If you can open a beer with something you give to someone, you're probably going to sign them up. But that thing that intrigues me about LA is, like, from the outside looking at you, like, you would get, in my head, I would imagine you'd go to so many auditions because uh you've got that great thing that everyone would be after you know you're funny character actor you could slide into any movie any show whatever so you must just be continually going to like millions of auditions which means that you know not millions no well hundreds of thousands. I mean, a few hundred.

999,000. No less than 300 a day. Oh, wow. Yeah, I don't want people to get the wrong idea. You don't want to look desperate. You could have done 18 auditions in the time it's taken to do this. I've just got to quickly do one now. Yeah, sure, sure, sure.

Do what you've got to do. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. But please, please help me. Okay, not bad. But we're looking for someone slightly taller. All right, back to you guys. What was that part for?

That sounded like a Fantasy Island reboot or something. It was. It was something. What was that? Oh, that was a Greek tragedy. Wrong accent. Was it a Greek person down a well? Greeks down a well, yeah.

Oh, yeah, nice, nice. So now the thing is about what's the odds about, like, when you go to an audition? I would imagine that, you know, it's a numbers game. You'd only get one out of 20, one out of 100, one out of 200, whatever it is. What do you reckon the ratio is? Like, what's a reasonable ratio to go to auditions and then to get something out of that?

Oh, for me, it's – I mean, look, I don't audition. show to go to auditions and then to get something out of that? For me, it's – I mean, look, I don't audition that often. Oh, right. No, it's not what you think. I mean, there is a thing called pilot season in LA, so that's when – if you're not already in a show, you're part of that, and that's really sort of like January through to April if you're available. It's the running of the balls of desperation. You're out there, all the work's on the table,

and they're looking for cast, they're looking for people. And so you get a list of all of the – and, you know, first of all, you go through what – you know, are you even interested in some of these projects? And then, you know, depending on how out of work you are, of course you are. And then you get in your car and you would do, I remember, I mean, I haven't done pilot season for a couple of years now

because I've been involved in shows. Yep. So, but I would do, you know, sometimes three or four auditions a day for that. And that was sort of as high as I was going for there. And then you don't expect to get any. So you just, really that is your job for three months is just to audition. And so the ratio of what you would get there, I guess out of 200,

if you get one, you're lucky. But regular actors, I guess, guys who are auditioning all year, the ratio is so low, it's ridiculous. That's why they're working other jobs. They're just – it's just they're hoping to maybe be an actor. Yeah, yeah. But if you already are one and you're proven – and I'm lucky. I'm in that comedy pool of, as you say before, you know,

I can do characters, I can do certain things with comedy that put me in a more unique group. In a rarefied air. Yes, exactly. The Making Out with Dana Scully group. Yeah, that's right. That's the upper echelon. Yeah.

So therefore, and I've worked slowly to get to that level, but so yeah, now I just kind of audition less and get selected more when I'm available and I get to choose a bit more. But you know, that's cool. Am I correct in saying that you've kept your New Zealand accent in every role you've had?

Right, that's pretty remarkable. Yeah, and that's the other thing that makes me unique. You can't do accents? I won't. You know this Hugh Jackman guy? He's a trainer. He gets over there. The second he's over there, he's putting it on. Yeah, I mean, I would

but I've been lucky enough to be picked for my uniqueness in those type of positions. So, yeah, I mean, I'm not likely to do, that's why I didn't just get that Greek tragedy there in my audition for. But I do, yeah, I mean, I'm not likely to do – that's why I didn't just get that Greek tragedy there in my audition for. But I do often play –

To be fair, they probably think they're casting an Australian, but yeah. Yeah, exactly, yeah. Australians are just ruling Hollywood, and they come over and they drop their accents straight away because then they know they're going to get parts. I remember the first time we went to the States, we got to LA and we went to an improv show at the UCB

and we're sort of thinking fish out of water the Yanks love us over here this is going to be great and we're sitting in the audience and the guy on stage got a girl out of the crowd and he goes, what's a suggestion what's the thing you're most sick of seeing

in Los Angeles and she goes Australians and she was Australian a suggestion. What's the thing you're most sick of seeing in Los Angeles? And she goes, Australians. And she was Australian. And this is night one of being here. It's like, oh, we shouldn't have come. We're a pest. A self-hating Australian turning on her own kind. Oh, that's weird.

Is that what it's got to now? Apparently. That's the only reason we ever made a big one, so we went over there. Yeah. But I noticed that you're in the upcoming Jumanji sequel, which filmed in Hawaii. That's right. And you're also on a show called Wrecked,

which is set on a tropical island. Yep. Does this mean all this kind of beach work, is this you in the Adam Sandler phase of your career where you're just picking your roles based on getting to have a sick holiday at the same time? Michael Caine style. Yeah, absolutely. I'm in the Michael Caine era.

Really loving it. Why not? Hey, we did a live episode of this over in Thailand in the middle of the year. We have no listeners in Thailand. Brilliant. Yeah, we get it. What was the reasoning behind that?

We wanted to go to Thailand. Oh, good, good. I go to Thailand like twice, three times a year, and then we concocted a way of being able to do it. The listeners funded it. Oh, really? And we flew our mates over. We flew guests over.

So, hey, next June, check your calendar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get them to film Jumanji 3 over in Koh Samui. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes Man 2 over there, whatever. We can fly Jim Carrey. Like, coach, but we can fly him. Okay. He'll be Jim Carrey. Like coach, but we can fly him. Okay.

He'll be happy with that. Yeah. Hey, he's just molecules. He'll be able to just transport himself there easily. Get a good wind. Yeah. So we know everything that you're in. Anyone can look at IMDB and certainly we have.

But I'm so fascinated with the audition process. What are the things you got close to? What are the things that, you know, or even stuff that you got called in for that you were a million miles away from, but you would love being there? Having a good, being with a good agency, a big agency, and having a good management gets me into, yeah, through some pretty big doors. Yeah.

And I have auditioned for shows that I can't imagine myself on. Yeah. And I have auditioned for shows that I can't imagine myself on. Yeah. Like, I'm just trying to rack my brains on the title of it. The one about the two cops. The news? Two cops chips. NYPD Blue.

Columbo. It's like True Detective. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, I auditioned for that. Season one or season two? I think it was two, so luckily I didn't get it. Right, right.

Because that really went down the tubes, didn't it? Still a nice failure to be part of. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I wasn't going to be one of the cops. Oh, right, right, right. You were going to be the girl singing in the bar that everyone hated? I was going to be some weird coroner or something like that. Right, right.

Fargo. So I've auditioned for some dramas. Coroner is a great role to get. It's a classic. Coroner's for some reason always weird. Yeah. He'll have a go at that. And what else? Once Upon a Story or something. Yeah, he'll have a go at that. And what else?

Once Upon a Story or something. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know, that thing. What's your dream role? What would you love to be in? What's the media's, like, in, what do you reckon is traditionally the media's sort of role? Like, there's something that you can get in there and be funny with and steal a scene. What's the sort of thing you're after?

Well, look, I'm fascinated with the whole Marvel world. Oh, yeah? I'm not a big comic book fan, but I love what they're doing with their TV shows. And now they've spread across the board on various streaming services and obviously movies, and it's a big deal. And the same thing with the DC side of things. And it would be cool to be in, I guess, in a show where,

a big budget show where there's lots of action, but you get to be a quirky character as well. And perhaps if there was a hero out there, some sort of weird comic book hero, then I could fill those shoes. I was actually a big fan of Condor Man. I don't know whether you remember that movie. Yeah, with Michael Crawford.

Michael Crawford, the Frank Spencer. I think my big dream would be to remake Condor Man, to be Condor Man, and for that to be a huge success, and maybe to then spin it into a Netflix series as well. Right. That is right in my wheelhouse. That is right. Like, just when I started being taken to the drive-in

by my mum and dad, Condor Man was, like, one of the first movies I can remember. That and Herbie the Love Bug. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Condor Man, like, that sounds, I mean, when they made the Ant-Man movie, I thought, wow, they are really scraping here.

So it's not, I mean, it's not unfeasible. Yeah, exactly. They're going through all of them. They are doing, and I think, you know, with a lot of these superhero type characters, a lot of them are a bit staunch. There's not too many that are weird, that are, I mean, I quite liked the Doctor Strange scenario, but then he's not funny.

He's just a bizarre doctor. Yep. So I think there's got to be some more scope for a nerdy, geeky guy who becomes some sort of hero. And totally – and this is another thing I read about you, which is, again, is right in my wheelhouse, same sort of era. You're a fan of The Greatest American Hero, that old TV show. That's the other one I would love to be. Yeah. Now, I was obsessed with that when I was a kid.

And that is a show where I reckon as you grow up and you see, like, I went back and watched like Knight Rider and the A-Term and went, oh, this will be great. Oh, this sucks. This is no good. But I went back and watched Greatest American Hero. Holds up. Does it? Yeah.

Oh, that's good to hear. It's a good show. Oh, I love that show. Because it's not heaps of special effects because he actually sort of isn't really a hero, is he? No. It's like more about him being so shit at his job. Yeah.

There's not that much flying and there's not much him doing anything. So it's more about the character and he's cop mate and all that stuff. It's real good. Yeah. The pacing and everything is still good. Yeah. I dare say, I don't know much about it, but just based on the title, I think you're going to have to drop that accent, bro.

This could be the one time I do drop it. What if you just, you hold out, strict negotiations, greatest New Zealand hero. Or just the greatest hero. We're all one people. It doesn't matter where we're from, and that's the thing I've always pushed, is we're all earthlings.

Come on, look, I was just born on that part of it, so I end up talking like this. But now I live here. Now you're down the well again. But I don't think – you don't want to be the gross American hero, though. You want to be the colourful off-sider. You want to be – what's his name? Bill.

I think Bill was his cop mate. The cop. Yeah, he was the interesting one out of it. You want to be him. He was the one that was like the tough-talking cop that would eat dog food. That's the interesting guy. Yeah, perhaps. the tough-talking cop that would eat dog food.

That's the interesting guy. Yeah, perhaps. I mean, I think, yeah, whichever role has the most scope and the most range because there's nothing worse than playing someone who's dull because you do wait for that other person to enter the scenes, don't you? Here's what I think. I think they're getting so far down the list of Marvel comic books that they're just looking for anything they haven't adapted yet. I reckon we're getting so far down the list of Marvel comic books that they,

you know, they're just looking for anything they haven't adapted yet. I reckon we're going to get to a point where the next one is just a movie about Stan Lee. So they've run out, they've run out of superheroes and now it's just a movie about the guy that made the superheroes. I can see you playing a young Stan Lee.

And then like a year later they reboot it with another guy playing Stan Lee. No, because he does cameos in all the Marvel movies. So there's Stan Lee doing a cameo in the background of a movie about himself. Yeah, that would be perfect. Now that's good. That will happen. You know that's going to happen.

Yeah, definitely. Were you married when you did Flight of the Conchords? Yes. Oh, you were already? Yeah. Yeah, right. Yeah, I had a kid. Oh, right.

I had my first child already, yeah. Now did you, with that in mind, no, no. Here's a question that i prepared assuming the answer was going to be no no no no no this still stands up no i'm just i'm just interested in because that was so big obviously like you know uh uh there would have been groupies around especially with their being musical comedies something about you know that attracts a certain sort of person surely there would have been people that, despite you were married, there would have been a lot of female interest in people going, Murray, that's what I'm on about.

There's a certain kink that's like, yeah, those pretty boy singers, that's fine. I need the power guy. I need the manager guy. Surely there were people that were girls that were centering on you. Well, I didn't see any. Oh, really?

No, no, not really. I'm shocked. The MySpace inbox wasn't going off? Yeah, there was nothing. Unless my wife might have been just deleting all those messages. Right, right. But I'm pretty sure there wasn't much attention. Oh, really?

Yeah, yeah. I'm genuinely shocked. I mean, it's the odd lady. But when I say that, I mean, yeah, the odd lady. Odd lady. Yeah, yeah, you know. One odd lady, yeah. You probably salted the earth for all that by spreading those rumours

about yourself that you think you might have Ebola. I reckon that would be doing a bit of press for you. That's right. I shouldn't have said that back then. But, I mean, the character in Flood of Conquers where you've got your sort of fan slash stalker. Like, you know, us being in comedy, I find that very true of people that are in musical comedy.

They've got this – there's a certain sort of obsessed fan that goes after musical comedy rather than straight standup comedy. And so that rang completely true for me. Totally. Well, it was all based on fact. Yeah. Right.

Yeah. They did have, they did have a super fan that, um, sent them a mold of Jermaine's lips and things like that. Yeah. Weird stuff like that. So what was the feedback when that character went out there on the show

and it got back to her? Like, did you ever hear from her what she thought about all that? I think she was just really stoked. Oh, really? Yeah, to be sort of, oh, based on me. Right. And that made her more or less obsessed? Was she then stalking the character that was designed on her?

I have no idea. I was kept out of that kind of weirdness. I would have thought it was the other way around. You find with people like that where it's like, you know, they don't see the parallel. So it's like, look at that weird character that they've written. Well, it's nothing like me while they're cutting off locks of their hair to put in the place.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good thing I'm normal. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I've had a few weird things happen. Like people have made little, I've had a bust of my Murray head made and sent to me with an email saying, you know, we could make these and you and I could go into business. Right.

Things like that. Great. What kind of cut did he want? 40%. Oh, he was like, we could make this. Well, I've done my bit by having a head, you know. Yeah, it's up to you, man. Knock yourself out.

And you've done a – so, yeah, you've worked with Jim Carrey, these sort of guys, and you're in a Roger Federer ad. How closely do you work with the great man of tennis? That was amazing. That was another one of these, you know, me being in that unique pool of people that are going to get these odd jobs. And there it was. And I just happened to be working

with the greatest tennis player that ever lived. And he was a fantastic guy. You know, it was a Nike ad. And so we were just, he was a fan too, you know, a Concords fan. Oh, great. So the two of us had a good laugh together, got photos with each other.

Great. And, you know, for me, I walked away with the story that I can tell that I've had a little bash at tennis against him, you know, and who can say that? Yeah. So we hit a ball to wood. A lot of tennis players, but still. Yeah.

Oh, really? He told me I was the first. Yeah, they're only New Zealand comic books. I thought I was in the US Open. So that was just another cool thing that's happened to me. You know, there's been a few moments like that where I've had to pinch myself and think, you know, what is it? Why me?

And you're talking about the Jim Carrey thing and the weirdness in the head but that's that kind of stuff does mess with your head yeah right you know and think of the things

that he's done and he you know so yeah what I'm saying is you know you guys are never going to experience that hey stop it

he loves it he's coming he's coming up again well can we this is something that we I feel like we should ask you about because this is something that's coming up again. Well, can we – this is something that we – I feel like we should ask you about because this is something that's come up on this show before.

Now, you got your start in New Zealand. You started doing stand-up there. Yeah. Now, we had – when was this? Like two years ago now, an open mic from New Zealand was visiting Melbourne and there was an incident here at a gig. Do you know what I'm getting at? I just think, you know, this guy might be listening

and maybe this is a way of getting some kind of closure on this story, which we still do not have. With a New Zealander on the podcast, maybe he can see that, goes, this is an episode for me to listen to. Exactly, exactly. So do you want to help take the reins of this story? Sure. Let's try and condense it.

Well, there was a New Zealand open mic that came, and I run a gig not very far away, like a block away from here, and he turned up and there was another comedian on that was a character comedian. He needs to get changed. He was wearing a blue velvet suit. When he went on stage, he came back to change into his civvies and his clothes were missing.

And he went, right, so now I've got just these blue velvet, I don't know where my clothes have gone. Turns out this New Zealand comedian had taken them because he was sitting backstage at the gig, literally shit his pants. Oh, dear. And then just took Oliver Clarke's clothes and then put them over the top of his clothes

even though he's shitting his own pants. I guess he thought he was creating a barrier between his shit covered pants. So he's put a new pair of pants over them to kind of act as like a shield. He double panted it and then sort of walked, left the gig

and had me running after him and then him sort of going, no, no I didn't steal them. It's like, well, you've got them on. So, yes, you did steal them. So, we talked about it on the show and then I think he got in touch with Oliver and said, look, I'm really sorry. I'll get you a Jeans West voucher over here and send it to you so you can get new jeans. Not how it works.

It's not how vouchers work. It's not how international currency works. And I'm not even sure that Jeans West is in New Zealand. I'm pretty sure it's not. I've never heard of it. This guy's a scammer. Yeah, this is the New Zealand. This is the new thing instead of Nigerian scammers.

We've got the New Zealand scammers now. I ask just because I know anytime we have anyone, you know, from New Zealand affiliated with New Zealand on the show, the listeners fire up and they go, you need to ask him about the pants there. People think it's like a small country with eight people where you might know him or you might be able to get through to this guy in some way. And if we don't bring this up, there will be people asking us,

was Reece Darby the guy who shitted pants? So we'll clear that up. All right, well, let's make sure that's not the case. That wasn't me. Was this a couple of years ago? Yeah. Two, three years ago. Okay, well, that's interesting. I. That wasn't me. Was this a couple of years ago? Yeah. That's interesting. I mean, I've never heard this. I bet I could probably

find out through my circles. In fact, even if we had Jamie Bowen here, who's touring with me, he might know who it is. I reckon he would definitely know. Yeah, because, guys, I understand. I'm working on a different echelon. You know, I'm sort of, oh, got another audition. Hang on. Yeah, yeah, guys, I understand. I'm working on a different echelon. Yes. You know, I'm sort of – Oh, got another audition.

Hang on. Yeah, yeah. Can you say, who's a good nature? No. Oh, damn it. I thought that was a bit close on that one. Well, you know, look – Was that for True Detective season three?

Yeah, it was actually. Wow. It's season three, which is going to be even worse. It gets worse and worse. I've got more and more chances. They really got burnt by the reaction to two. They think that guy's lost the plot. Look, I hope we do find him.

Do you want to find out who this is? You know who he is. That's what True Detective season three is about, finding this guy. Pooh Detective. Yeah. Pooh Detective. Yeah, Pooh Detective. We need financial remuneration for our friend. We want the jeans back washed and dry cleaned and sent to our friend or we want, you know, $100 for a new pair of Levi's for our friend.

We never got closure on this. We want the New Zealand, the Western Union sort of version of jeans. The jeans transfer over the Tasman. Look, it's so weird, guys. This just, I just can't understand. You know, I look forward to finding out who this is. Well, I mean, you know. You're going to tell me after the show, right?

Yeah. Yeah, sure. We'll find his name, yeah. I mean, you kind of, you know, you're obviously a very prominent figure in the New Zealand stand-up scene. I think it's fair to say that you inspired a generation of new New Zealand comics to kind of start out. And so in many ways you could say this is directly your fault.

Yeah. No, I wouldn't say that. Look, if you guys need 200 bucks, I'll just leave it here on the table. I've probably got it in my phone pocket. Yes, that's what we were getting at. There you go. There's a couple of coins for you. We made up the whole story. We just want money.

Yeah, these sparkling waters aren't cheap and we've really been going for it. You guys are clever. I've got to give you that. I've heard about you. Look, one more question. One more fan out question. We're just going through your IMDB profile and loving all the stuff that you've done. One more question. You know, one of the one of my absolute comedy heroes,

Letterman. You were on Letterman before Letterman finished up. Yes. Obviously. Yeah. The week after. Yeah. Hey, great news. This seems weird.

It's just me and Paul having coffee. This is not technically Letterman. Where is he? Where's the big man? So did you – now, notoriously, he doesn't really have a lot to do with his guests. Did you have anything to do with him at all when you did the show? Not much. I mean, he came over and shook my hand and smiled and, you know,

that was it. It's usually like you'll come over and you can still hear him going to the ad break. You'll say, nice jeans or, you know, something like that. I think there might have been a nice jeans comment. Yeah, right. Yeah. But that's about it.

What a shame. I mean, I guess he was probably, I mean, you know, Yeah, but that's about it. What a shame. I mean, I guess he was probably, I mean, you know, he was coming to the end of his tether, coming to the end of his whole being who he was there on that show, and I was lucky to get in there before it finished. And, you know, I just had a stand-up slot. I didn't really get to talk to him much.

But I did get to meet him, and that was enough. Yeah. But for me, I was really proud to be able to say that I'd been on that show and perform on it while Letterman was still there. Oh, amazing. Amazing. Who were the guests on that night? Oh, God. I was so self-focused, I can't even tell you.

Oh, really? Yeah. No. Fuck, that'd be nice to be able to say, yeah, I've got so much going on, I don't even remember who was on Letterman. I can't even remember if Letterman was there that night. For me it was just, you know. To be fair, asking what other guests were on Letterman when a person was on

is the equivalent of going, what movies did you get on the flight? Yeah, exactly. As soon as I did my thing, man, I just left, you know, like I got the limo to the... Oh, all right, mate. We've all got shit going on. To the fanciest bar in town and then, you know, just drank champagne till the morning.

Oh, really? So it was a big night out after doing Letterman? Oh, totally. Why wouldn't it be? Oh, totally, yeah. You know, so... That must have happened on Letterman every night, just like somewhere in New York That must have happened on Letterman every night, just like there's somewhere in New York,

whoever's gone on Letterman that night is out there having a massive night, hopefully. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I don't know if it's the same case now. That was near the end. Now it's not on TV anymore, probably not. Certainly it's not on anymore, but they still have those shows, but they just seem a little cheesier and a bit over the top now.

Like they're really competing now to who can do the silliest stunts. Yeah. So I was glad that I was before that era really kicked in. Yeah. You don't want to do a potato sack race on Jimmy Fallon? No. I mean, that's exactly what's going to happen. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, you'll be cut to me next year doing that and looking into the camera going, you know. And then this is on the internet and it's there forever, so you'll definitely hear about it if that day comes. Well, hey, we'd better wrap this up for another week of the little Dumb Dumb Club. Rhys Darby, thank you so much for joining us. Oh, look, it's been a pleasure.

So this is going up pretty much straight away. So if you're in Melbourne, you can go see Reast Arby tonight. Yes. Yes. I think there's a few tickets available tonight. And then I've got, what have I got? Adelaide. Adelaide and Perth, I believe.

The next day. Yep, and then Perth. And that's it. That's my mystic time bird tour of the NZs and Aussies. Great. And we've already had a bunch of fans say they've been to see you in Sydney and Brisbane and they've all raved. So please get along.

If you've got nothing to do tonight and the next couple of days, Perth, definitely go along. Adelaide. Even if you do have stuff to do, cancel it. Yeah, yeah. Perth, go along. Adelaide, you're all pieces of shit. You won't go, but you know.

Yeah. What are numbers like in Adelaide? Do you know? Bloody low. What is wrong with that place? Great. Yeah. What are numbers like in Adelaide? Do you know? Bloody low. What is wrong with that place? Great. Yeah, welcome to our world. Welcome to everyone's world, to be fair.

You should do an Elvis Costello and just pull the gig. Yeah. Teach him a lesson. Yeah. I might pull it halfway through and go, you know what? It's not worth it. No, of course, I'll do my best in Adelaide as I always do, but please bring a friend.

They show up on the night, but they they don't pre-book for whatever reason. They've got this country town mentality where they go, nothing ever sells out, we'll just rock up. Why would we fucking buy a ticket beforehand? It just stresses out everyone in the industry. We were doing that for four years where the night before we were flying in, we'd have no sales going, geez, what is the point? Get there and the show would be sold out.

But we just can't deal with the stress anymore. So this is the first year that we've gone, no, we're just not. Yeah, drop it. No, we'll be better this time. It's like, you said that last time. Wow. You've got managers to take care of that. We don't have managers.

We're dealing with the Adelaide stress personally, and it's taken a toll. Yeah. Is that a shock that we don't have managers? That is not a shock. Oh, there he goes. All right. Thanks heaps for listening, guys, and we'll see you next time. See you, mates.