The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 362 - Live! Wil Anderson, Dave Anthony, Gareth Reynolds & Jon Daly

Episode Date: September 12, 2017

Our American jaunt continues! We're live from Los Angeles with superstar guests WIL ANDERSON, DAVE ANTHONY, GARETH REYNOLDS and JON DALY! To be honest, we spend most of this gig (recorded in a poorly ventilated room on a blistering hot day) trying to work out what the hell is going on. We hear about Karl's dreams, Dave's AIDS, Jon's crabs PLUS there's some drum solos!Don't forget, we have a bunch of huge live shows coming up:SYDNEY: We're doing a show at the SYDNEY OPERA HOUSE! Don't miss this one, it's gonna be huge. THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 14.MELBOURNE: We're doing a huge live show with FIONA O'LOUGHLIN and LAWRENCE MOONEY! SATURDAY OCTOBER 21.PERTH: We're heading over for our annual huge Dum Dum event. SUNDAY NOVEMBER 19.CANBERRA: We're doing it again. A huge live show in your city. SATURDAY NOVEMBER 25. For tickets, merchandise, links to our Patreon and heaps of other stuff, head to our website: littledumdumclub.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the Little Dum Dum Club, we are live from Los Angeles with guests Will Anderson, Dave Anthony, Gareth Reynolds and John Daly. But first of all, we quickly need to tell you about a couple of live shows that we have coming up. If you are listening to this hot off the presses on the day it's come out, tomorrow is our big show, Thursday, September the 14th, at the Sydney Opera House. How are you feeling, Carl? Are you excited about walking that hallowed stage? I'm genuinely very excited. Yeah, me too. And we've got some nice little ideas all prepped up and everything, some nice stories coming up. You've taught me one of your ideas.

I wouldn't describe it as nice, but… It's going to be very effective. And, of course, if you're up in Sydney, we are doing a live… We're doing a live stand-up being recorded for the Comedy Channel the very next day on the Friday night. We were up at the Opera House. We're doing a… Me and you recorded for the Comedy Channel the very next day on the Friday night. We were up at the Opera House. We're doing a – me and you were doing spots on a live showcase, televised showcase with Anne Edmonds, Becky Lucas,

and some very special guests. Yeah, and two big guests that we are not allowed to name but who have both been on this show quite recently. Yeah. So there you go. Yeah, it's me and you again. We get two cracks at it because they're convinced that we're going to fuck up our TV spots, so they're giving us two bites of the cherry.

And let us stress, it's the same material twice. So we do the dress rehearsal spot and then we get the real go at it. You can write all the jokes down the first time and figure out what went wrong with them, shout out any changes, and then when we come back on, we will get it right. We do our first set and then we get told backstage by the producers that we're actually not allowed to say the C-bomb at all, let alone as many times as we did. So then we have to have a second go at it.

Yeah, so we do a ten minute set and then we come back on and do a four minute set. So that's going to be awesome. We've also just put on sale a live show in Canberra. We had such a fun time up there last year. We drove up, a group of us, and so yeah, you guys came out in force, and so we're doing it again, November 25th. On the Saturday night, big news, that's us, the first announcement of Canberra. We are

coming back, so check the website for all the details of venue time and everything, but it's guests, we drag up guests from Melbourne, so we'll be doing a little stand-up show, but we'll be doing the full podcast, and we are, believe it or not, in a sort of nicer venue than last time. Instead of being in Captain Cook's outdoor dunny like we were last time, you can't come and see any 220 year old shits in the dunny out there.

And when you say, check the website, which website are you specifically referring to? LittleDumbDumbClub.com MrSkin.com? No. Well, I'll check that just in case. The details are just wedged into a nude scene, just cheekily kind of poking out from the inside. In between each of Jodie Foster's breasts,

you will find Tickets to Canberra. You'll find the price, the date, the time and the venue. So, yeah, coming out to that, that's going to be awesome. Of course, before that, we are in Perth, the big Dumb Dumber Palooza that we do every year over there. Sunday, November the 19th, in Perth. And also Melbourne, our huge live show at the Croxton Park

Hotel, Lawrence Mooney versus Fiona O'Loughlin. It's going to be massive. It's on its way to selling out, so don't miss out. Don't sleep on that. It's a big venue. We're two-thirds full already, and we've still got plenty of time to go. So, guys, that's it. If you're in any of those capital cities, if you're in Sydney, Canberra, Perth, Melbourne,ney canberra perth melbourne we have shows on sale they're probably i would say they're there allow shows for the live shows for the year probably i can't think

of anything else we've got up our sleeve actually so yeah that's that's it for live shows yeah um so get onto that um that would be awesome also of course if you go to the website check out all you know if you're a new listener go and check out all the back episodes we've got like 350 of them or so so and of course the merch um so if you're a new listener, go and check out all the back episodes. We've got like 350 of them or so. And of course the merch. So if you come into any of the live shows and you want merch, you know, hit us up. Make it a little bit easier when we're on our way so we know what sizes to bring, stuff like that.

Because otherwise we're just bringing five. You know what? I'm just, every time we go away, I'm like, oh, God, I guess there's going to be a bunch of fat fucks out there. I better bring a heap of 5XLs. And you just cram the suitcase full of every size possible. And then you go there and go, oh, no, yeah, there's only a couple of fucking small people that want T-shirts.

Nothing sadder than watching you repack your suitcase after a live gig and have to lug it back to wherever you stay. It's a sad sight. It was good. You know what? It was the best experience in Brisbane last time, a Brisbane episode that's coming up, because a lot of people bought shirts.

It was very nice to come back with an empty suitcase. I'll bet. One of the first times that's happened. On the selling merch thing, I'd quickly like to plug something, a personal endeavour of mine. I've drawn up a little mini comic book of stuff that I drew while I was in Vietnam and Singapore and Thailand

as part of the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival. That is available now from my webshop, tommydassolo.bigcartel.com If you've ever seen our posters and stuff that I draw, maybe you'd like to buy that. Or if you've ever seen, if you're a Patreon subscriber and you're on the $5 level or above, you've seen plenty of

Tommy's excellent illustrations in that. So it's a full book of that, which is, you know, what our magazine could be if you gave us more money than you do. But it is awesome. I just had IPDF'd it for him today and it is a pleasure of a read. You had the honour of doing a technical task that I'm ill-equipped to do. It brought me back to my old days doing graphic art

when I was working in quick copy Ballarat where I was just doing no artistic bits, just jamming something in and technically making it correct. So when this thing cracks the New York Times bestseller list, I'll be sure to give you your shout out then. Oh, don't worry. I put my name on the cover. I get it back.

It's all, every page is watermarked with a picture of you. Fuck, I should have done that. I should have done that without telling you because that brought me back to, that would be like the old Mirabar advertiser days when I just put my name in stuff. If I had just wedged my name down the bottom of page seven or something, you wouldn't have noticed it. Because you go to me, you specifically said,

have a look over it and make sure everything's all right. And I'm like, oh, fuck, what's he done? So then I spent like half an hour like zooming it right in and going pixel by pixel to see what you'd snuck in there. Fuck, that would be good. So yeah, TommyDassolo.BigCartel.com And like we said, if you're a Patreon subscriber, you get that magazine, you get

bonus episodes, and of course, if you've listened before, you get your little name read out as a big thank you, and of course, we don't do that at the top of the episode anymore. We're about to bring you the new live episode from Los Angeles, but if you stick around at the end, it's like a sweet little Easter egg. It's like the Avengers fucking at the end of their movies. It's like a little preview. It's like the Avengers fucking at the end of their movies.

It's like a little preview. It's like the Avengers fucking at the end of their movies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. The big orgy that happens during the credits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When Thor sticks his hammer up Captain America's ass. You know that bit.

It's exactly like that. And you're Captain America. And we've got the hammer sticking up your ass. So you've made yourself the fucking Hemsworth brother. No worries, mate. No, no, no. I'm not saying you. I mean, I'm talking to the audience. Oh, okay. Right. Right. Because they're getting the hammer stuck up

their ass by listening to our Patreon reads. Yes. Exactly. So if you want to support the show, if you like what you hear and you'd like to help us keep the lights on in here at DumDumHQ, patreon.com slash littledumdumclub or all of these links at our website, littledumdumclub.com Stick around at the end to hear the Patreon read,

if that's the sort of thing you're into. Otherwise, enjoy this episode live from beautiful Silver Lake, Los Angeles, with Will Anderson, the boys from the Dollop, and John Daly. See what you think. I was a bit unsure about this one. Hey, mates! Welcome to the Little Dum Dum Club, live from the City of Angels. Thank you so much for joining us. My name is Tommy Daslow, and standing next to me, the other half of the show, Carl Chandler.

Hello, dickheads. Yay! I don't think we've earned the right to sit down yet I don't think in this sweat box of a room on a hot afternoon to a crowd who seem kind of a bit stoned out of their minds I have to say I think we're about to really get an understanding of what it is like to have readily available marijuana in this city

this guy's just, yep, fuck yeah I like how we walked in here and I was like oh wow, could we get a smaller room? Turns out we should have. We've got a small theatre. We haven't filled it. Yeah. Actually, the restroom is probably like it's like a handicap size one. Right.

We could just do that in there. Who's up for it? Let's go do this in the shitter. Who's up for it? I feel like this podcast should be in a handicap room. Yeah. So for sure. Do you guys have doing it in the shitter over here?

Do you guys have anal here yet or what? Has that made its way over here? Wow. There we go. Alright. Just playing to that stoner crowd you know. You're talking to porno town. Do you guys have anal? Kind of is porno town I guess. Does anyone here do porno? Who reckons they have the bleakest

Los Angeles job? Who reckons they have the like the worst? Who has the shittest job here? Probably us. Us, by the looks of it. All right, Bill Gates. We're all doing well. Okay, we get it. Is there expats here or is it all...

Yeah, I heard a couple of accents on the way in. Okay, all right. I did the door for this gig, by the way. Just giving out my resume at the start of the episode. I'm a now qualified door bitch. So if anyone back home is listening and has work for me on the door, hey, man, come on in. Did you have a ticket?

Because I was doing the door and then I had to start the show. So people could just sneak in now. There's no system in place here. There's no illusion at home. When you're picking up people individually walking through the door, you know it's going to be a small crowd. When you've made eye contact with every single audience member 20 seconds into the gig, you know it's going to be a small crowd. When you've made eye contact with every single audience member 20 seconds into the gig, you know it's a small crowd.

When the two hosts visibly get an erection when one person more turns up, wow. Because there's a couple of people that didn't turn up backstage. I'm literally saying to Tommy, can you please email them right now because it's really going to make a difference to our crowd if they get here right now. We can wait. We can stall it for 15 minutes. Well, you'll be happy to know that we had a walk-up. Whoa.

Yeah, a walk-up. I was standing there doing the door and a lovely young lady turned up and was just sort of – just came. Just, you know, the way that you hope these things work where she just turned up and said, so what is this? And then I kind of put the hard sell on it. You know, it's a podcast. It's really fun. It's just we talk. And I won her over. And so she's come in. She's it. You know, it's a podcast, really fun. It's just we talk. And I won her over.

And so she's come in. She's here. Which one? She's won. I don't know. This is what she wanted. Is that? Wait, where is she?

No, wait, maybe she did come in. It's with you, wasn't it? It should be pretty fucking hard to pick her out. Yeah. There's only about four girls here to start with. How are you feeling so far about your investment? You need to smoke out first. You need to smoke up first. You need to smoke up first.

Right. I thought being smoked up was the reason you decided to fucking come in here. Like, yeah. So this is exciting. We are here at the Lyric Hyperion Theatre and Cafe in Silver Lake, Los Angeles. And I did overhear out in the front bar, me doing the door has been a boon for content of the intro of the show so far. Thank fuck. I did over

here that, I assume some people got here earlier to eat and stuff. The manager of this place had to run down to the shops to buy more cheese. Now is there anything that screams little dum-dum club audience more than the venue running out of cheese half an hour before

the gig? I'm going to have to say there are no disgusting fat fucks here. Wow, I don't know where you're putting the cheese, guys, but you're looking pretty good. You're looking very Californian. Very slender, yeah. Okay, is there any, is that a compliment? Is that a compliment?

Yes. Yes, I don't know. Is you are not fat a compliment? How fucking progressive have you got to be, man? Have you heard this show before? That is the closest to a compliment I ever get. So, man, accept it. Make the most.

Soak it up. Is there any actors here? Is there any? Because this is the town of, like, actors and stuff. She's been out of that. That's great. Her friend next to her. Fuck, that's a bad actor where you have to be pointed to do it.

Shouldn't you be like, yes? I presume that's how acting works. I don't know. What's my motivation? You're being grilled by two shit cunts from Australia. Go. And scene. Yeah.

We know Baz Luhrmann, so if you're a good audience today, we'll put a good word in. Any improvisers? Why would you put your hand up to that? Yeah, why would you put your hand up to that? Yeah, why would you put your hand up to that? Yeah, and well, that's how you smoke them out. They're like cops. Right.

Because if you ask if you're an improviser, you have to say yes and. Oh, right, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. If they don't go for it, well, the improviser part of the brain would compel them to shoot their hand right up. Yes, and I'm also a fucking spaceman. Here I am, running around on Mars like a little cunt. Yeah.

That's some of the best impro-ing I've ever heard, to be fair. Space jump off the West Gate. Do people do this? Because we went into Gelson's before, the supermarket across the street. There's a bar in the supermarket. Is that a weird thing? Or is that just us?

Is that a normal thing? Has anyone got drunk in a supermarket before? Because there is literally a bar with a heap of beers on tap and we walked in and went, man, how good would this be to get fucking pissed in the supermarket? Just get leathered in the fucking supermarket. We really want to have the after party to this gig in the supermarket, get blind, go and piss in the fucking chicken salad. It's perfect because you get fucked up and then you're like, you're hungry, what are

you going to eat? How about fucking anything you can dream of? It's perfect. Yeah. Well, we've got heaps of guests. Should we bring one out? Yeah. Let's get our first guest out here, folks.

You'll know him from ToeFop. Very good friend of the show. Please welcome Will Anderson. Yes. Yes! It's good to be here. Yay. Thanks.

Okay. That was great enthusiasm and then fuck all. I saw that. I feel like... It dropped off straight away. But here's what I love about the dichotomy of an audience. There's someone here who's seen this for the first time not knowing what it was. There are like a decent amount of people who've come out specifically to see it, I imagine.

And there's somebody who's disproportionately come from way too far to see something that only this many people came to. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. Like it would have been like, this is a fucking awesome decision. We're going to get down there. It's going to be packed. It's going to be full of Aussies.

I booked early. This is a road trip of a lifetime. We will remember this. We'll have to bury somebody. We'll never talk about it. It's going to be the greatest thing ever. And then you look around and go, oh, maybe not as many people are into this. Someone got really excited and then got here and went,

maybe I made the mistake here actually. I've sat down but I don't know if we've earned the right to sit down yet because they didn't – I don't know about these guys. I wasn't sure that they were fired up enough when we were standing up. You know what I mean? Have we earned the right to lower the energy by sitting down? I mean, I've got to be honest with you. Sitting down is really hard for me at the moment

because I have like got a bad nerve issue in my back and it's fine when I'm up and about but uh like getting in a car or whatever and today I was going to walk here because it's actually less pain to walk but it was like midday and it was hot in LA and it was going to take me two hours to walk here and I'm like fuck it I'm gonna get a cab and like I loaded myself on edibles so that's why that's why I'm like sitting in this chair like it's my couch. And I loaded up on edibles thinking that'll get me through the pain. But it didn't.

Like the first ten minutes, if you've got that like horrible shooting pain, like I'm just sweating and like I'm trying to get a comfortable position in the back of a cab. You know, it's like there's no way to do it. And like the whole time I'm like, oh, it'll be fine. It'll be worth it once I get here. But I guess it's not. So that's life, I guess.

That's a beautiful metaphor for the struggle of life. Are you okay? You're welcome to stand. Would you prefer – by the way – No, I mean, would it be okay if I stand? Because I don't want you guys to have to stand just because I'm standing. In fact, I'll stand a little bit like this. Great, there we go.

There we go. That's great, Uncle Will. Nice one. If you like, you can stand behind the drums. We've got a drum set here. Oh, yeah, we should point out for the listeners. You know what? I can be Questlove.

Questlove? Oh, yes. I never know how to say his name properly. I'm not quite cool enough. Is it Questlove or Questlove? It's Questlove. Okay, cool. Nice one. I'm not quite cool enough. Is it Questlove or Questlove? It's Questlove. Okay, cool. Nice one.

I'm Questlove. Oh, hang on. I'm not racially appropriating that. I don't want people to come, oh, fucking Australians coming over here taking Questlove's jobs. Yeah. Suddenly I'm in the roots. It's a very different fucking roots when you're from Australia.

We're the fucking roots. We love rooting people. Isn't that great? Anyway. Yes. How about we get rid of all that? You can just be animal from the Muppets instead. That's easier, I think.

I think that's... There it is. Yes. Great. Man, that's putting a lot of pressure on us to be funny at some stage in the next hour. Yeah. Yeah, we've now got to work backwards to earn that. But I'm choose.

Well, we're earning a lot. Sitting down, drum cymbals. You know what? This is a bit of cross-platform gear. I've come back from the drums, but I've kept the fucking drumsticks. I don't know why, but it feels good to have them in my hands. I've never been able to play

the drums, but just that idea that at any stage now, I can just fucking drum. If we lose this crowd, you can insert them in our arse and that'll get them back, yeah. It's actually a nice change because usually we have a guest called Dilruk that turns up with drumsticks in his hand. These are actually Dilruk's chopsticks.

And this drum is the bucket he eats his chicken at. Anyway, they're all jokes, guys. They're all on scene. There we go. Finally the credit's lit up, a fat joke. Finally. Yeah, you guys have obese people here. Not in this room, but yeah.'re all on stage. There we go. Finally, the credit lit up a fat joke. Finally. Yeah, you guys have obese people here. Not in this room, but yeah.

Oh, boy, you've got them. Wow, we've seen them. Not in this room. You guys are trim. I can't make that clear enough. You guys are in good shape. Not that it matters either way. That's the point.

It's not about what people are. No, nothing matters. No one thought it would be this profound, did they? Wow, fuck, we're learning stuff here. There's a bit of crap cross-platform here. There's a bit of crap. We were on your podcast the other week, Will, on last week. Yes.

Fuck, we've been travelling. Every day feels like a week to me. But I was saying that I had a dream last time we did a podcast. Life is a highway. Last time we did a podcast with you, I had a weird dream just before we did the podcast last time we did a podcast with you I had a weird dream just before we did the podcast about you

and about you getting in a lot of trouble I made you cry because you said something bad on Twitter well I said it for you so I don't know

what it is I don't usually dream but because I had today's podcast in my head last night I had another dream because we were coming to do this podcast

okay well not only do I love that we've A talked about one of your dreams but before we're about to talk about another one of your dreams, you've given us a little previously on Carl's dreams. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So people are up to date with something that will probably make no fucking sense compared to the new dreams. Just to prove that I do have dreams, guys. I just want to give them some context. It's not Westworld, mate. I don't think you're going to have to have seen all the others to understand what's going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's fair enough. So I dreamt that I was in a bar last night and I was sitting in the bar and it was a busy bar and I was literally sitting on the as people were getting served, I was sitting on top of the bar, just like this, just hanging out and I was sitting there and The act out!

Do you guys have sitting here? Well, let me show you how it's done. Maybe you do it differently over here, but back home, the butt goes down like this. I think Carl just saw me try to sit down before and went, fuck, Will needs to see what sitting is. You place your fanny on the seat. Oh, wow.

Guy, you've really won them over there. So I was sitting there. So I was sitting there and there was a lot of people getting drunk and for some reason I'm sitting on the bar and I'm even getting weird looks in the dream from how dumb I'm acting. Wow. A self-hating dream where the scenario that you've concocted, the people in it are turning on you.

Great. So then a lady walks by and sort of, she's like a – I don't know. You have the term here, a lady of the night. Yes? A lot of the single guys here are nodding profusely. So, yeah. Yeah, we get it. That's what they've saved under in my phone.

That's why these guys were late. A lady of the midday. Yeah. Oh, yeah. A lady of the 2 p.m. So came in sort of like asked for business, I guess. Well, I don't know what the professional term for that would be. Flyering.

Flyering, oh, yeah. Walked by and then her, I guess her pimp, is that the term? I guess the pimp walks by. I don't know if that's... I mean, I understand what you're trying to say to people is I'm not familiar with this, how process works. But I do believe you protest too much. So what is the name of the person who doesn't look after the lady of the night?

Because I have absorbed nothing from popular culture of the last 20 years. The cashier, the gentleman who takes the funds, as you would say. But that's it, because pimp sounds very 70s. Surely there's a new version of that word these days, surely? I don't think there's anyone sort of thinking that there should be progressive views towards pimps. No, these guys that beat women and wring money out of them, we need to give them a bit of a fair shake.

Pimp is an outdated term. Well, a lot of people don't know this, but much like the taxi industry and Uber, pimps were run out of town by an app that does the same job called Pimp. It's a big P, little m, big P. It's a really good joke, actually,

but probably wasted on this dumb ass fucking audience. And the host. I knew you were doing a bit but there was part of me going like, fuck, I want this to be real because in this city that could be a real thing. Yeah, I reckon there could be a pimp act. You've got to trademark it. Well, just in the same way as you can get someone to walk your dogs.

Get someone to charge other people to fuck it? Yeah, cool. Well, here's the thing. Here's where you're losing all your money on your pimping, I imagine, though, because you only really need your pimp for you to be there at the start and kind of then to keep a watchful eye, right? It's not like a full-time job.

So if you're in the down times, so if you just kind of have a service where you can just get a pimp for occasions where you need some pimping. Yeah. And so you just get a nearby pimp, like Uber. Yeah, you're right. So you want to go independent. It's pimps in the area. There's like four pimping. Yeah. And so you just get a nearby pimp, like Uber. Yeah, you're right. So you want to go independent. It's pimps in the area.

There's like four or five. Yeah, you're right. You want to go independent because you're sick of being in bed with big pimping. Exactly. There we go. Get on board this bit. Eventually we'll wear them down and they will. Yeah, brave of us to do some pimp gear at two o'clock on a Saturday, but we're getting

through it. Are we going to have to declare this podcast at customs on the way home? No, you have to make money to declare anything to customs. So the pimp walks... Yeah, so the lady walks by and then the pimp comes up to me in full view in the nightclub and then goes, so I look after the money now. And I haven't said yes or anything, but he goes, I'll look after the money.

But then here's the thing that confused me even in the dream. He wanted to deal with the money, but then he... You know what? I forgot this was a dream. I thought you were telling me a real story about something that had happened since you'd been in Hollywood. I was like, what nightclub was this? And then I'm like, oh, yeah, this is a dream.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is Casa Del Chando in my dream. So he walks by and then he, but he wants to get the money, he wants to change some money with me but it's like he's at the baseball, he's got the little change machine. Oh yeah, nice. That's great, that's great. And I'm like, how good is this lady

if we're dealing with coins? Shouldn't it be all folding notes? And I started to think, I'm not going to do this anymore. And so then I said to the pig... Anymore, so you were going to do it. Well, I was thinking, well, it's a dream. I'll probably get away with it. So I go, oh, no, thank you.

No, thank you. I actually didn't say yes to her. I didn't say yes. And then he got really mad. And that was a bit in my head where I actually went, oh, this is a dream. Because his face went beetroot red and went crazy. And also, he looked like... Does everyone remember He-Man on TV?

I like the He-Man. He looked like Ram-Man. That's exactly what he looked like. So Ram-Man, the pimp, Ram-Man the pimp, then got really mad, went beetroot red, and then did this and then rammed into me. And, like, jumped into me. And I woke up from the dream by actually lifting myself off the bed

trying to get out of the way of Ram-Man the pimp. So that was my dream, everyone. Give it up for the dreams of Carl Chandler, everyone. Let's get our next guest out here. What do you reckon? Sure. Folks, please welcome, you know him from the dollop, Dave Anthony. Thank you.

That's just the microphone. There's nothing in that, mate. There's nothing in that. Just make this as, just take as long as you need. There we go. Hello, governor. That's not us. That's not what we sound like.

I think I nailed it. That's not what we sound like. I think I nailed it. How many came to see me? There's one person. One Anthony had in the front like. I think I nailed it. How many came to see me? Oh. There's one person. Nice. One Anthony had in the front row. Didn't even clap,

just raised his hand. Yeah. Very polite. I know that's good because I came out to do some work before I made sense. He didn't want any

recorded evidence of it. It makes sense he's there to see you because I tried to talk to everyone before and he just went, no, I'm checking my fucking phone instead.

So he was waiting for DA. Until I'm out here, my people do not pay attention. I appreciate you putting the call out to bring these guys in. These guys. I tweeted about this show. Yep.

I let the people know and look at the fucking turnout. Fuck, what would this be like if you hadn't tweeted? Twice as full. That guy. I'm as full. That guy... I'm not listening. That guy is a Giants fan,

so I assume that he came here because of me. Really? Yep. Fuck. I'm a Giants fan, so I assume anyone here who is a Giants fan is here because of me. They just want to see another fan live in the flesh?

That's how we do it. When you look at a Giants game on TV, do you look at them and go they're all there because of me as well or no because I'm not actually there

if I was there I'd be like look at all the people I brought to this fucker can I ask this about the Giants have the Giants

ever in the history of their team playing whatever sport it is they play it's baseball in the history of the Giants baseball club, have they ever actually had a giant on the team?

Like an actual giant? That's how the team was named. It was originally founded by a giant. Was it? Because if it wasn't, then this is as offensive to me as the fucking Washington Redskins. Seriously, why do the Redskins get all the fucking hard time when progressive fucking San Francisco

Has a team named after fucking Giants That's like calling your team the fucking Dwarves You can't do that That is literally Hang on, I'm the new John Oliver Let's make this a show I'm taking your team down It's a victory for the little guy

You're right about the Giants It's an offensive name And that's why we chose it. Now, the Seattle Dwarves are also a great soccer club. Say again. But the white people jump off that, because they know that's wrong. But they don't jump off the Giant when there is actually people who are Giants, and that is like a physical, I don't know, right?

Like Andre the Giant. I don't know if he's actually technically a giant. Really? I don't think there is a medical term giant. I think what you're doing... Yes, there is a giantism. Yeah. That's medical. Is it medical? Yeah. But we don't call them, like no one's like

look at this fucking giant. There's no derogatory. People are like hey, you fucking giant, can you throw a ball? Like no one's fucking doing that. There's no people. Yeah people like, hey, you fucking giant, can you throw a ball? No one's fucking doing that. There's no people. Just because we do it that way now doesn't mean that in the past things went different. I have some podcasts I can recommend to you

if you want to know how history works. What about the LA mental giants? Like a sarcastic name for your baseball club. Dodgers. Oh, right. He's doing local. He's doing some local gear. Me and that guy are having a good time now.

Yeah. Now you're watching giant fans do their shit. I don't understand any of it, but if you get any reaction out of these people, I'm fucking fine with it. Dave, we saw you put a post up on the Dollop page this morning explaining why the Dollop is going to a once a week show instead of twice a week.

The internet at the hotel is patchy, so we can only skim the post, but you mentioned that you were in San Francisco many years ago and you got told that you had AIDS. Yeah. Anyway, that's all I managed to read. Does that not happen to people? My question, how'd you get that?

How did I get AIDS? Yeah. I was fucking guys without a condom in 1986. Right. The year I was born. It was a really bad time. Right. And I would describe it as thousands of cuts around my asshole.

Right. You would describe it as that that but other people wouldn't? Well, when they were done, they would. It makes sense why there's not that many people here now, actually. Now that I'm starting to listen to what we're talking about, this makes sense. This is officially an incubator at this point. I also love that this is

where you drew your line after the eight minutes of spelling out that Hollywood sign of how you kill yourself. This is where the podcast went wrong. It wasn't when you yelled at the one person who took a risk on you. We're going to really start thinking about this podcast. So when I was living in San Francisco and I was an open mic-er trying to become a comedian, I'm not making any money, so I didn't have health insurance.

Hang on, did you say this was set back then or in present day you know what hey why the fuck did you that's worse that's worse than suicide and AIDS making fun of

Dave's comedy career Jesus too far Kyle we still have I still have some comp seats available for the balcony so

hey coincidentally so do I. So I have this fucking crazy weird rash thing breaking out of my neck, and so I have to go to a free clinic. And it's like, if you've seen the movie Jacob's Ladder, it's like this terrifying, just filthy, a line of people that are the lowest rung and there was a guy in front of me with a goiter on his elbow that was just like leaking.

I did the door for this gig. I'm familiar with what that scene looks like. I was about to say, that's probably where most of the rest of the audience are. Still in line at the clinic. So I go in, for some reason it's a German doctor and he tells me basically it's a for some reason it's a German doctor and he tells me basically it's

he tells me for some reason it's a German doctor probably because he was born in Germany I'd imagine why is he in America if you're a German doctor

why would you ever come to America to do a free clinic I guess you care about wait wait wait if you're an Australian comedian why would you come here to do free open mic comedy

well you I mean you guys you can't compare to other people. Thank you. We're talking about a guy with a degree who's smart. You guys wrote... Oh, come on. Are we going to defend these guys? Are you actually going to defend these people?

There's no groans from now on. I don't know if we mentioned this, but this is comedy. So if we could just go with it, that would be great. This is art back home, okay? We do these gigs in museums back home. This is comedy if we could just go with it.

That's a T-shirt. Well, of course, George Carlin's famous line. Don't do lines from your stand-up in the podcast, thanks. And then there's the follow-up. It's comedy, please. Please. For the love of God, I beg you.

Speaking of comedy, can I just bring this up just for one second? Did you see that fucking footage of Bill Cosby coming out of these court cases and then yelling out, hey, hey, hey, the fat Albert? It still makes me laugh. He's still funny, even though he's a horrible, hey, hey, hey, the fat Albert. It still makes me laugh. Do the voice.

He's still funny, even though he's a horrible, horrible, horrible rapist. I mean, I obviously can't do the voice, but we have Chris Lilley here to do it for us. But literally to do the catchphrase in that moment. No, that's like coming out and going, I'm a rapist. Like, if you do it then, you're a fucking monster of epic proportions. That's a pretty sweet

catchphrase, though, to be fair. It is a pretty sweet catchphrase. Well, I was about to bring our next guest out, but it seems like we've made a very weird

climate to bring him out and I'd feel very bad as a host of a show doing this. So I'll tell the AIDS story really quick. That'll make it better. So the doctor just says you have

shingles and because you're whatever very early, 23, he goes, you have AIDS. And I was like, what's happening? And he goes, you should get tested because you almost 100% have AIDS. And I was like, what? And it's just because at that time, if you had shingles in San

Francisco and you're a single young man, you probably got it from AIDS. Your immune system's down. But I was just a stressed out freak, so I literally just had shingles. But the test takes three weeks. Virgin. The test takes three weeks to get back then.

If you were a virgin, that would be weird to then be told you have AIDS and you're like, wow, that's interesting. How did I get that? That happened in America. A woman said she got it from the dentist. Oh, right. Bad dentist.

I'm going to cum in your mouth now. I mean, at least you got that little bowl there to spit. Boy, I'm glad we initiated that no-grown policy. Finally, we have a better dentist bit than Bill Cosby's. We've reclaimed it, guys. What are you doing, Doctor? I'm technically flossing you. This man is a dentist, so we can't show you his face.

So I thought I had aged for like three weeks, and that's how long the test took back then. So I was just making the point that because it appears that our government is run by psychopaths, I want to have employer health care, which means I have to go back to acting and writing. And I can only do dolps once a month because I don't trust whatever the fuck these guys are going to do. And they could totally undermine our health care system. So that was the point I was making on the post. From everyone here at the Little Dum Dum Club, we hope that you managed to get your

AIDS under control and taken care of in this current climate. It flares up when I'm on shitty podcasts. I can't help but think that was directed at us. I can literally see the scabs forming right now. This is fantastic. Yeah, but to be fair, that's me and you, the two scabs. Okay, and speaking of which, let's get our next guest out here. You also know him

from The Dollar. Please welcome Gareth Reynolds! Hey, how are you? Thanks for having me. I love my podcast host. Hi. What are you wearing? Yeah, why are you wearing that shirt?

Why are you wearing that weird shirt? Something weird happened. How's everybody doing tonight? You all good? Gareth, why are you wearing that shirt? Something weird happened when me and Gareth were dressing. How are you guys? Everyone good?

USA. I didn't see that shirt. When you walked in before, you weren't wearing that shirt. Where did you get that shirt from? I did not realize you were a captain. I'll tell you what, it's a good crowd for an afternoon. It's a thick looking blue shirt

with bright red buttons on it. It's a lady's shirt. He's some sort of captain. It doesn't really fit the rest. Dave and I... You weren't wearing

that before. Is there a reason why you're wearing that now? We wore the same shirt. We accidentally wore the same shirt today. Right.

We didn't call each other. How's this reveal going to play on the podcast? So this wasn't deliberate because I saw this backstage and thought, oh, there's a funny bit they've come up with. But I will admit, when I put it on, I thought, fuck, he has this shirt. What if he wears it?

And I was like, he won't wear it. He's got a million shirts. But you don't have a million shirts, do you? I have four. But they're all good ones. Everyone's a winner. We did stand up at this place a few months ago

and we both got shirts. Also, you can't get AIDS from cum in your mouth, just for the record. Tell us the story behind learning that one. Stop trying to pick up after the gig. Also, I kind of feel like we're in a band where you guys are the main guys in the band and I'm the session

muso that you've hired. So you haven't let me have an official t-shirt, but you've gone just wear the same colours and stand up the back. Maybe we get you letters. I feel like we're at the Arias back home and you're nominated for best comedy release and then we've got Bananas in Pyjamas just here.

That's fucked up, Carl. That's topical and fucked up. How many are not enjoying themselves so far? It feels like a two o'clock show. It does feel like very much a two o'clock show. Has everybody listened to this podcast before they came here? Did somebody just go, I'll give this a shot? So these two haven't?

You dragged them along? Yeah. These guys, oh, fucking hell. So you guys have never heard this? So no one's listened to this yeah well what I like the first guy

who's like I dragged them along the two guys he pointed at both had their arms crossed yeah notice he also dragged people along too so everybody was dragged

nobody willingly it's that nice thing where usually you go thanks for bringing friends along but today with this sort of experience it's like I wish you had left your fucking mates at home

to be fair. Yeah, I can't believe why people don't want to come. We should give a special shout out to the people who brought no one with them. Those are the true heroes today. So you live in America. You're not Australian? You're from here. From LA?

Azusa. Same thing, same thing sort of. It's a big place. And you found and you started listening to the little Dum Dum Club? Yeah. That is the name of our podcast. You said it like you didn't know it. How did, why did that happen? Oh, there you go.

Look at that. See, it's a little podcast network. Basically, this is not a show anymore. This is just market research. Yeah, this... We're going to go around the room. If everyone could tell how they came here today, what podcast it was that led them to them,

other podcasts they might enjoy done by these people, maybe some genres. Yeah, we need to bolster the laughs in here. I know what will do it. This is like that thing where you go up to a homeless person on the street and go, how did you get here. I know what'll do it. This is like that thing where you go up to a homeless person on the street and go, how did you get here? That thing we all do.

That thing that no one does ever. That's a good show, though. You could pitch that fucking show. I'm having some meetings next week. Do you mind if they turn down the idea I actually have for a show? Go. And they go, hey, we like you, but we don't like that idea. Do you have anything else?

Can I pitch them, I'm going to get a guy to go up to homeless people and just go, how, we like you, but we don't like that idea. Do you have anything else? Can I pitch them? I'm going to get a guy to go up to homeless people and just go, how did this happen? Please. Please. Executive producer, Carl Chandler. Yeah, please. I would appreciate it. Oh, no, you're going to host it.

Oh, great. Yeah, because I imagine about ep three, you're getting stabbed. Hey, everybody, Gareth's here. Hey. And by ep five, I'm being interviewed by someone else. Yeah. Absolutely. Are these new?

Are these shoes new? These are new-ish shoes. Sure. They're very white. Thank you. Hang on. This feels a little single white Gareth. Yeah.

I don't know what's happening. Like, what size are those? Yeah, now he's going to have the shoes. Where can I have those shoes? What kind? Where'd you get these? These are Adidas. Don't get them, too.

I don't want to start wearing the exact same outfit. That's kind of where this is headed. No, I'm not into that. Nope, stop sizing me up, please. Ford hat. Like a black Ford hat. Yeah. Black Ford hat.

Yeah. Black up top, white downtown. I'm thinking about growing my beard back. Why? No, don't. I think you guys, I think you look really cute. I think you should go all the way with it. Yeah.

Have you guys ever thought about dressing the same? Could that be like... Yeah. Sometimes you have duos. You have people who work together and they wear some sort of matching or coordinated outfit of some kind. If I remember correctly, Carl used to wear pajamas. So maybe Tommy wants to get a set of pajamas.

Tommy would love not to dress in the morning. Just turn up wants to get a set of pajamas. Tommy would love not to dress in the morning. Just turn up naked to all my gigs. Not naked. I mean, here's the other thing I learned about you when you did my podcast was you sleep naked. So you used to perform in pajamas.

But you wouldn't actually use pajamas in your real life. So you would get out of bed naked and put on pajamas and go to work. And then he'd put on workout clothes and go to work. Not for the office. That's right. Are there any questions? What do you guys do?

Absolutely no questions. You just get up. You're naked. You get up. You bring one of you and go, what are you wearing? And then you put that on. What t-shirts are we doing? Yeah.

We shaving? Nice. See you in 20. I'm sorry. are we doing? Yeah. We shaving? Nice. See you in 20. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that we're professional and we coordinate. I apologize for that. You think this is professional? I know it is.

I know it is. Saturday strong. Saturday strong. All right. Should we get our next guest out? Yeah. And while we do that, it might be the perfect opportunity for that guy who's definitely been looking for a way to get out of this fucking room for a second

to use this moment of distraction to fucking make your escape for that moment, mate. Okay. This next guy coming out, I wrote on a sketch show. Hey, Will, if you point at all the people who want to walk out, we're going to be here a long time. That's going to chew up the next 20 minutes. I was actually just talking to your next guest.

This next guy, before he comes out, I just want to say, we wrote on a sketch show a long time ago, and sometimes if I'm desperate to put together a writer packet, I'll take his name off the sketch I wrote with him and just turn it in his mind. Bring him out! All right, in our attempt to outnumber the audience,

here's our next guest. Folks, you know him from Crawl Show and heaps of other things. Please welcome John Daly. Oh, thanks guys. That was great. 47 minutes later, I'm out on stage. It's weird it started with all the whining. How's it going? I'm sorry for delaying. It's been great out here

while you've been waiting. Yeah, I've been right there. How come you didn't introduce him using the credit of the TV show he's on? He forgot. Oh, I'm dying up here. I'm dying up here. Anyway, enough about how this podcast is going.

Yeah, this has gone great. Thanks, Dave. Make it about you again. Look, I'm just trying to help you out. Thanks, buddy. So how does that make you feel, knowing that he's going around claiming credit for the thing that you wrote together? Yeah, we wrote on this sketch show.

Did you really do that? Did you put my name on or take my name off? Do you remember the internet sketch we wrote about a guy... Fuck, I can't remember. But it's basically a guy that's in a commercial and he starts talking about getting the internet and it just goes kind of crazy. No. Right. So you don't know if you wrote it or not.

I'm in the moment, bro. That's why I'm so good at writing. I did do that with a show like a year ago. You did? Well, we wrote that together, though. Yeah. Okay, but my lines got you the job. Yeah. All right. My stuff in it was bad. Hey, fuck you guys.

Hey, I didn't get the job. That's what I want. Hey, I didn't get the job. You didn't get the job? No. I was lying and cheating. All right. Well, wow. Yeah. Karma police came to get you. the job you didn't get the job no oh cool i was lying and cheating all right well wow yeah you didn't you karma police i felt like i wrote it on my own even though we wrote it together yeah cool i think you're very funny i want to validate you right now you're very successful and funny what i love the most about that story though dave sorry i took your microphone over your shoulder

because we didn't have a spare one is that not only you brought up that you'd stolen his material, but then that it hadn't been successful. So really you just punched him twice in one go. So you're a real great friend. Yeah, but it could have been a huge miscalculation. Like it was probably a drama. I haven't heard back from SVU. I don't know what the deal is. They didn't like that internet sketch.

The daily sketch really made me laugh. Maybe I should have left John's name on it. Everything else was perfect. Maybe the first thing I put on my CV shouldn't have been, I have AIDS. I thought I heard that, and I thought that I had AIDS in college as well. Did you?

Because I had been so downloaded with all this, like, you will get AIDS from sex. And as soon as I had sex with like, not even anyone shady, I was just kind of like, oh my God, I definitely have AIDS. Even though I used a condom. Anyway, and it turned out that it was crabs. But I had crabs so badly that it was not just in my crotch, it was all over, because I'm a very hairy person, all over my body.

So they would be in my ankles, a crab. You had crankles? And bleeding. Yes. Whoa. He's done it again. Man. Quest will.

Good on the rim shot. He took his microphone away. Sorry. I thought your mic was turned off, Dave. Is it? No, it should be. Okay. And were they up here in your chest?

Oh, yeah. How far did they go? Not in my scalp. But they were definitely talking about it. I was pretty depressed in college. How long did it take for the crabs to spread all over your body? It probably took two months and then I freaked out.

You didn't know you had crabs for two months? No, I was like, I have AIDS and I was so terrified. I thought I had AIDS. And by the way, that is maybe the crab's best asset. They're able to then have you be like, I have AIDS. We're building more. We're talking scalp, gentlemen.

We're going to make the move. But I've never been more relieved in my life to learn that I have tiny spiders burrowing into my skin. They weren't crabs. That's what they are. Eyes distractors. Yeah. That's what we call them. They're AIDS fakers. Hold on. Are they really tiny spiders? Crabs are tiny

spiders with literally like two light-sensing eyes that have their entire purpose is to, like the sucker on the guy's face, an alien, just implant themselves right under your skin and just suck your blood and shit it out. And so they make waste, which is horrible.

Is that what itches, or is it them moving around? No, what's itching is them living inside your skin. Go over the vomit! So then I went and got the shampoo. I did the shampoo, which is... has a, it's like a. Do you have a hairy butthole? Oh my God, yeah. It's an nightmare.

Wiping my ass is like 20 minutes. Men. Men. Like what we're doing now over this hour is like endurance podcasting. It's like, how long can you last before you have to bail out? It's total gross out.

To be fair. Suicide, the AIDS, the crabs. Hold on. To be fair, out. Suicide, the AIDS, the creds. Hold on. To be fair, on every interview podcast I'm on, I always ask, it's my, what I'm known for, do you have a hairy butthole? I ask everybody that. I asked, I had Obama on in my shed up in Highland Park,

and that was the first question I asked him. Yeah, I don't think he has a hairy butthole, but mine is, it's not just the butthole, it's the whole crack. The whole thing's hairy. The whole thing, it's hairy. So you has a hairy butthole, but mine is not just the butthole. It's the whole crack. The whole thing's hairy. The whole thing, it's hairy. So you had a hairy, you had an itchy butthole for how long? Long time.

Then I got the poison that you put all over your body, which has, it's a prescription bottle with a molecule on it, and it literally says, like, do not use this more than five times in one lifetime. Really? Or else you will get brain damage. What? So you put it on says, like, do not use this more than five times in one lifetime. Really? Or else you will get brain damage. What? So you put it on your whole body and then.

Over your whole lifetime? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Wow. It's like, don't take more than like five doses of this. So the fifth time you get crabs. Hang on. How big is the bottle?

The bottle's like, you know, enough liquid to put all over your entire body. So you're rubbing it all over your body. Yeah. This liquid that's like, I will kill you. It kills the crabs. It does not kill the eggs. And then I get crabs again two months later. And I'm like, oh my God.

So six months go by. Wait, so what are you supposed to do? You'd want to have a good nose. No, no, no. For the listeners out there, shave your entire body as soon as, if you're hairy like me, like hairy butt, everything,

you got to shave your entire body or else you're just wasting your time. Hold on. They're laughing at you. And keep it shaved for an absurd amount of time and you'll feel... You might get into it. I was not. How do you put ointment or whatever it is, lotion on your hairy butthole six times

and then get brain damage? That seems like a weird thing to be able to do. Well, I think they're just covering their bases in a certain way, but it's probably really bad for you. You'd want to have a good note-keeping system. You wouldn't want to be there going, oh God, is this the sixth or the fifth time? I know. How many bullets are left in this gun of getting

rid of crabs? Because if you can't remember, you've probably done it six times because you've got the brain damage. Yeah, it's like LSD. You're legally insane. It's your first time every time. First time, yeah? First time. Can't believe I got him again.

But how do you... Carl, how do you hear that story and not immediately think, how did he shave his butthole? Oh, yeah, it's not pleasant. I heard the story. Were you cut all over? No, but it was raw and horrible. You didn't use

an electric. I used an electric, dog clippers, and then shave. We're covering a lot of animals. And then shave, shave. And that's what you've got to do. You've got to get that razor. Because they bond. What happens is they lay their eggs inside your hair follicles.

Oh my God. It's pretty cool. No, wait. And so if you shave all the hair off your body, then they're gone. That's it. Well, then you have to wait until their eggs die that are potentially in your pores. So keep yourself shaved for approximately a month and a half, two months. And then you won't have crabs anymore, but you'll be good on slip and slides.

How awesome. How awesome. I started dating a lot of older men. I was going to say, just for your... Evil men. Like your first year of college, as weird as it is, but having to go through that seems like it makes it extra weird. Yeah, but I know I was so afraid of having AIDS.

Like, I was just like, surely I have AIDS. It all adds up. Yeah. And the nurse was like, do you, like, shoot heroin? Or do you, like, you know, fuck without condoms,

fuck men without condoms? I was like, neither thing. And they were like, oh, let me look at this. And they were like, oh, you have spider shit all over yourself. You have, you're covered in spider shit. You're like from Planet of you have spider shit all over yourself. You're covered in... You're like from Planet of the Apes with

a hair disease. How do you have spiders? How have they come up with that term where it's like you've got little spiders all over you and then people go, that's crabs. They look like crabs. But why don't they just call it spiders? Well, they are spiders but they look like crabs. Why don't they call it spiders?

Hey, you've got spiders. Why not? In Australia is there some sort of super breed of crabs? Seems like everything there is like way scarier. Yeah, yeah. No, but if they're spiders, then call them spiders. That's just confusing. Why do crabs get

dragged into it? Just call it spiders. You've got spiders. Is that not obvious to everyone? Again, a fascinating past. I believe it was just actually so you didn't ruin Spider-Man for children. Right. You've got to see Crabman. He, that guy. Crabman, run sideways.

My eggs are in you. What? You'll be dealing with me for half a year. Oh, man. People don't know what it was like to grow up at that time, but we literally all thought we were going to get AIDS if we had sex. Yeah. Like, that's how it was just...

It was fear. Yeah, the whole message from the world, the media, if you can imagine the media overblowing things, but it was just like, yeah, you're going to get AIDS. Could Magic Johnson just have crabs? Has he actually checked it? Really good point. He could be back playing for the Lakers.

Too much. Too much for the big Magic fan. Big Lakers fan. Bye-bye. I mean, this podcast is like, whoa. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar just walked out. You bring Magic into it. How can he do business that well?

How can he be as big a mogul as he is with crabs? It's funny, but Kareem Abdul-Jabbar went on the injured list because he had crabs. Yeah, they call them carab. Not a lot of people know that. Carab-dul-jabbar. Google that. Look that up.

Some of you younger kids, you're like, I got it so easy. Look up carab. Well, we've been doing this American tour of shows. We did a live episode in New York last week, and we exclusively had Australian people who currently live over there on the show. Amazing.

Then we come over here, and we have another Australian and two idiots who are in Australia every four months at the moment. So, John, it's wonderful. Well, why would you be when they're here doing gigs like this? Yeah, true. I've never been. You've never been?

Yeah, I should come and you should host me. Yeah, definitely. Would you like that? Yeah. Let's do it. Do, take me out, take me out. Let me stay at your house. Don't fall for this, John.

Oh, I don't think you want to stay at his house. No, I do. Maybe Carl's house might be better. Yeah, my house is better. Where do you guys live? Are you married? I live in North Fitzroy. Sorry?

I live in North Fitzroy. What? North Fitzroy. Yeah. All right. What do you think? Sounds pretty charming. Yeah.

Fitzroy's okay. Fitzroy's good. Fitzroy's good. Fitzroy's cool. Well, because I know you from you being on other podcasts and doing a lot of voices and stuff like that.

Thank you so much. So we want to take advantage. Do like a weasel voice. Yeah. I'm Dave Anthony. I'm a weasel. A human weasel man. Well, this is it for our listeners back home.

So can we kind of flesh this out a bit and make it sound like we've gotten a bit more Hollywood kind of action on the podcast? Oh, yeah, baby. Holy shit. Yeah, this is a real... You want me to be more like Razzy or Zazzy? Just who have you got? Who have you got in the canon that you can

do? Oh, who have I got in the canon? Why, it's Jack Nicholson. From up on Mulholland, I figured I'd come down, and why not? I love the Hyperion public. And hey, I don't mind waiting 47 minutes or even 57 minutes backstage

to come out to do a podcast such as this. I love Nicholson's intro. He says it's good to be here and then he gives sort of where he lives on his way to coming in. Yeah. It's just on my way to work. On a Saturday, right. Didn't you just play Bill Murray in a movie?

Me personally? Yeah. I did, but I would never do that impression. No, no, no. Fine. But I could. No, I'm not going to do that. But I did. It's the'm not going to do that. All right. I feel like.

Yeah, no, but I did. It's the National Lampoon movie that is coming out next year. Great. On Netflix, yeah. That's cool. Who should I do? Call them out. Frasier.

Hello, Seattle. It's terrifying. Good evening. Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Norm? Hello, how are you? Hey, Fraser. John, what about a bit of Ryan Gosling?

Are you into that? Oh, boy, Ryan Gosling. Oh, boy. Wow. That's the best one. Oh, boy. Hey, I'm a star. I want to marry you.

Wait a minute. Oh, I got to drive around in my car. Oh, boy. Oh, I'm so handsome. He's kind of bad on podcasts because he just comes out and lists stuff he's done. I'm handsome. I'm looking good in jeans. Oh, brother.

One of those rare people that looks good in jeans. That's the thing that got him over the line out here. That's my most accurate impression. That's it? Yeah, if you talk to him, he's like, oh, brother. Can you do the Dalai Lama? Dalai Lama, yes. Famous Hollywood celebrity, the Dalai Lama.

I was at a party with Mick Jagger and Ringo Starr and Sting and Trudy Styler were there and Prince Charles and Prince Harry, just named drops. Anyway, that wasn't working out. Yeah. You went for it, though. I liked it. I'm a Dalai Lama fan. Are you really?

Yeah, I'm a... I love... Are there many people who are like... I love him. Are there many people who look at the Dalai Lama and go, that cunt, and aren't into him? You know what I mean? Yeah, Mother Teresa. He's the new Mother Teresa. Oh, our waiter's here.

Who does that? Sorry, I only brought three other beers back, but if somebody wants one of those three beers, I can bring it to you. I'll take the big canned one. Well, we're just getting ready to get stuck into hour two, so let's do it. So what I was going to say was I've met the Dalai Lama.

What? Yeah, I met the Dalai Lama. I opened for the Dalai Lama. Well, yeah, okay. I need a good opener. You wanted me to open for him. It's actually a fucking tense gig opening for the Dalai Lama. Was this in Australia? In Australia. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he came out. He was doing

a tour and then he did a local opener. Did you actually do comedy? Or did you just talk about... No, you just talked about your experiences under Nirvana, right? Yeah, no, no, no. When you sat under the bow tree, what that felt like to you? Just a really, really fucking spiritual geek, man. A lot of one-hand clapping applause.

And then I realized I'm not the leaf, I'm the water. You guys are going to love the next guy. I'm going to bring him up. You know him. He was born in the mountains as a reincarnate. We dug him up. We found him. Used to be a cockroach.

You might have seen him meeting Bono. Anyway, he was beforehand, like, you meet him, right? And they say to him, they say,'ll come over and have a chat to you, but he's got a translator and stuff, he doesn't speak a heebie English, but you're going to have some interaction. Liberal. So you're like, okay, well, I've got to have something. I have one moment with the Dalai Lama, what am I going to ask?

How is this interaction going to go? Where do you get your ideas? Right, yeah. How did you get this who books this yeah who books can anyone be a Dalai Lama nepotism

he was born into it yeah yeah fucking again right you have to be born into this do you what

not anyone can be a Lama where's a Lama open night where can I where can I get up with some of my theories about the universe so he comes up to me it's like and it's quite a open night. Where can I get up with some of my theories about the universe? So he comes up to me and it's quite a cold

and stormy day in Sydney that day and as he comes up to me, everything that I was going to ask him just goes blank and I say to him, I say, do you have winter robes and summer robes? Because he's like, because he's wearing like he's still wearing his robes but it's like he's cooler than, yeah, right?

I'm glad some people thought that was like. That's the kind of question that could make you friends for life. Yeah, honestly. No, he starts laughing and he's like, you are my friend. Someone finally gets me. Well, there was a bit about that, like where you're like, it's like one of those things that like when you're a comedian,

you wish people would ask you about certain things and they never do in interviews. I felt like one of those things that like when you're a comedian you wish people would ask you about certain things and they never do in interviews I felt like for him he was like at last someone asked me about the winter

and fucking summer robes never comes up but no he doesn't have winter and summer robes in fact he showed me what he had he goes

he said when it's cold I just do this and he pulled the robes up over his head like he was Yoda like you know

just like had it up like this and then he said and when it's hot just do this. And he pulled the robes up over his head like he was Yoda. Like, you know, just like, had it up like this. And then he said, and when it's hot, I do this. And without a word of a lie, on my recarnated stole, he dropped his robes off his shoulder and flounced. That's real good. Is that what he closed with?

That's good. I wish you guys could see the flounce. Yeah, the flounce is important. Yeah. Then he said, I'm the Dalai Lama. I'll be back. It's a Buddhist joke. All right, I reckon we better wrap this up for another week

on the Little Dum Dum Club. Will Anderson, Gareth Reynolds, Dave Anthony, John Daly, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you for having us. Wow. What a ride. Thank you guys for listening at home. Thanks to everyone who came down here to the Lyric Hyperion Theatre. Give yourselves a round of applause for coming out on a Saturday afternoon. Thanks so much for

listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mate. Wow. Well, guys, thanks for coming, I guess. And we're back. What a masterclass in live comedy that was. Wow. Yeah, look, I'll be interested to hear what people think

because at the time, I can't say I super enjoyed that one. I can't say I've ever seen you like that. I've seen you in some real tizzes over the years. This absolutely took the cake. It did break me a bit. I haven't said this on the show yet, but you, so we got to the end and I said, thanks for coming, guys. We're going to stick around.

We'll sell merch if anyone wants to, you know, have a beer or buy a T-shirt. We'll see you at the front. And you just, the most solemn look on your face, go, yeah, thanks, I guess. And then you just drop your mic and storm off. And then I'm still on stage i can hear you in the green room going fucking hell just screaming to our guests going fucking sorry about

that guys i did apologize a lot to the other guests and like will and that are like it was fine man it was fine i'm like nah it was fucking no good but i mean you know will will at that point and he talks about this on the show, has a problem with his back and he's in so much pain that he physically can't sit down. And then you're there going, my gig didn't feel very good. My holiday's not going how I want. I felt like him.

I felt like I couldn't sit down. I felt like I'd copped it up the ass so hard I couldn't sit down. Actually, I haven't listened back to it yet. So I felt like it wasn't sit down. I felt like I'd copped it up the ass so hard. I couldn't sit down. Actually, I haven't listened back to it yet. So I felt like it wasn't as bad. Maybe we'll switch. Maybe you'll listen to it. Well, you're not going to listen to the recording. But maybe I'll listen back to it.

Do me a favour. Just work your magic on this episode. Insert some laughter at all into it. And thank you to the people that did come along. But fuck, they were fans. They were fans of the show and they were very respectful in that they didn't interrupt us at any stage with laughter. It was a great one where you start turning on them

and they, I just don't think they were, they weren't laughing so they were enjoying it. Yeah. But they had that weird thing where you start going them and they're just looking back at us like, we're enjoying it. We're just introverts. Like, we're not going to fucking slap our thighs and, you know, throw underwear at you.

And look, guys, for all of you that came along, equal parts apologies if I was a bit heavy-handed with that, but equal parts fuck you for not laughing enough because it is your fucking job. And some of you guys drove all fucking day to get there. Yes. Let it out. But, yeah, so that was – anyway, it was a fun day.

It was fun. Thanks to everyone who came down and stuck around afterwards. Very, very lovely group of people that hung around. They were. They were very lovely. And it was a nice – very lovely guest to come down and do that as well. You know who I got asked about more in these overseas episodes afterwards than anyone else?

Who? Adam Knox. Really? Yeah. People are fascinated by Adam Knox. People just wanting to know, fuck it, what's going on there. How does he survive? Yes.

Yeah, a lot of questions about him. Where does he get any money from? So, of course, now, as of last week, we now do the Patreon read at the end of the show, which, now, this was kind of the low light of my week. Oh, really? Because we get, you know, for about a year and a half now, all we've heard from people is just constant abuse

about how shit the Patreon read is. People can't stand it. People go and get rid of it. Finally, we move it to the end of the show. All week, people go and put it back at the start. You can't fucking win with these animals. Yeah, yeah. Look, you've got to take that as a backhanded compliment

because the people are like, put it back, meaning, oh, we like it. We're the ones that liked it. So that's nice. But then on the flip side, but it is still a bit of a complaint, which we fucking hate getting any form of complaints. And it's already there. It's still there. It's just in a different bit.

Everyone's like, oh, I missed the fucking Patreon. No, it's still there. It just feels, where were these people when people were saying, get rid of it? Why weren't these people jumping in to defend us? All of a sudden, they're fucking crawling out of the woodwork, falling over themselves to complain. So you've got the complaints coming from them,

but then you've got the ones that are going, good work, finally you've done a good decision because I always skip it because it's shit and you guys are fucked. Yes. Which I just got even madder about because fuck them. Yeah. But, hey, thank you to everyone who's hung around. We've given everyone carte blanche to fuck off at this stage.

So if you're still hanging around, good for you. Because what's great about this is, is that with this structure now on the timeline on your podcasting app of choice, you know, you can hear us at the end go, see you, mates, and then you can glance down and see that there's another 40 minutes of the episode. Do you know what I mean? So you know what you're in for, which I quite like.

I think people are going to enjoy it more being braced for how long it's going to go for. This is dumbed up late. Yes, it is. This is when we're going to full on fuck each other. So you know what you're in for, guys, or if you're a first-time listener. I always like talking to people as if it's the first time because, you know, I don't want to assume that everyone knows everything. But this is the bit when people chip in and some people actually want their names read out. Some people don't, but some people do. And I like –

Do you get many people requesting for it to not be read out? Well, you get fake names and you get very few details, which puts me off reading anything. But I like the people on social media, on the socials that will say, you know, oh, yeah, look, I don't put into the Patreon because, you know, I don't want you making fun of my name. It's like, you can put whatever the fuck name you want in there. You're just a tight ass. That's not true.

So, anyway, here we go. Let's do – well, you know what? Since it's different now, since it's up the back. So let's do – well, you know what? Since it's different now, since it's up the back – This is now no risk of any babies now that we do it this way. Up the back, no babies. That's right. Let's put – well, you know what?

I'll be giving you a bit of a choice about how many Patreon people we read out. Yeah. Let's do six this week i reckon do we usually do six you want to do six yeah i want to do six i don't know man like i think there's a reason you've been letting me do it well why i think that's a bad i think you think i'm bad with numbers i think that's a dumb idea well how many do you think six is well what are you all right all right that's a bad idea you come up with a better idea i just reckon i just reckon we should do five oh fuck fine look

whatever keeps you happy all right let's do five all right let's it's okay it seems like this isn't okay with you fucking hell well look you know i i'd like to get one little thing through on this podcast i'm just trying to pick a number that we haven't done before. Look, I'm so sick of this. Like, we argue about the number we're going to read out all week. It just feels like we do six all the time. I just want to do something different. I'm sure you agreed to six during the week, and we get here, and then you flip on me.

Well, fuck it. I'm sick of having this argument. All right, let's have it your way. Five. We'll do five. Fuck. Maybe we can do six next week. Maybe next week we can do six.

You've got to let me have my head on this one. Okay. Sure. Fuck. All right. Fuck, you're starting to let me have my head on this one. Okay. Sure. Fuck. All right. Fuck, he's starting to look a bit like he did at the end of that Los Angeles episode. Well, there's about as much reaction in this room as there was at that episode.

I don't want to do six. I'd rather do the number of laughs that we got over that whole hour in that show. Times two. Yeah. So, here we go. Five to go. Here's number one. Patrons are go. Five to go. Here's number one. Patrons. Thank you to patron subscriber.

And here's a few people that have complained on the social medias this week. So they get the cunty wheel gets the grease, as I always say. So thank you to patron subscriber Joel Candia. Candia. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. So he's getting, there's no way he's not getting Joel Candy-ass

Yeah Well Sweet Sweet Candy-ass Sweet ass Sweet Candy-ass Joel with a sweet Candy-ass Sweet Lollybottom

Yep Sweet Chocolate cheeks That's what he'd be That's what he'd be in In In Britain Lolly

Lollybottom Oh yeah Lollybum Lollybottom Lollybum Chucky cheeks Chucky Cheeks. Chucky Cheeks is pretty horrific. Licorice Assorts.

Old fucking... Joel Licorice Assorts. Nice. Nice. I'm quite happy with that one, despite it is not very catchy at all. But technically correct. Yeah, it still works. Yeah.

You've worked it in there. You've done your due diligence. I've done magic. Yeah. I've done magic. In a way, we're doing six after all, because that feels like two already. Yeah, kind of. Yeah, that's quality-wise, that accounts for two.

That's two, definitely. Well, thanks, Joel. Thanks, Joel. And I hope you got what you wanted. I hope some people have this thing in them. Also, this is a guy that was like. This is a complainer. Speaking up.

That's fine. He's a contributor and he's right to do it. And I'm very happy to do it when people complain. Except for the people who complain after fucking two days. Makes your job easy. Makes compiling the list easier. Totally. All you've got to do is just answer five messages of people who've gone.

Totally. Put me in. And a lot of this list is exactly that. Right. I've got fan tales coming out of my ass here. Yeah. Fucking grossed me. I can take it. Yep. Yep. So I hope is exactly that. Right. I've got fantails coming out of my ass here. Yeah. Fucking roast me. I can take it.

Yep. Yep. So I hope you got that at school. Any one of those, Joel? Yeah. Old fucking gobstopper rectum. Yep. Just.

Old. Fuck, now I want a last one as well. Old. Fuck. Rectum's a good one. I like rectum. Your big van rectum you've told me in the past.um's a good one I like rectum you're a big fan of rectum you've told me in the past

what's the other one I'm a big fan of rectum I remember saying that quite a lot I do believe that's a literal quote you've said to me I love rectum

yeah because I like I like that thing where I think we've talked about this off air where it's like when people talk dirty or whatever

it's like oh yeah stick it in stick it in up my ass or whatever. And it's like you can't talk sexy if someone goes, put it in my rectum. Yeah, as soon as you get very like biologically accurate. When you're not using slang, that's when it – yeah. When you get a bit too medical about it, it's like that's when all the fun comes out of mixing an asshole and sex. Totally.

That's what I think. Thanks, Joel. Thanks, Joel. Thanks, Joel. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Daniel Beaumont. Daniel Beaumont. Very, again, one of these very regal ones. Very kind of posh sounding. Daniel Beaumont.

Sounds like a character from, kind of sounds like a character from like a Days of Our Lives kind of soap opera kind of thing, don't you think? Well, he's one of the people that's been subscribing for a while and he's quite rightly complained about it. So thank you for all the money that's come into our coffers. But Beaumont, is there someone missing? Did someone go missing with the last name Beaumont? Because this guy's money has gone missing for about a year

and we found it. The mention of his name on the show went missing for a very long time. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Yeah, the Beaumont children? Yeah, that rings a bell. What was the story with them? Just fill time while I Google the Beaumont children. All right.

Yeah, it sounds familiar. It sounds like something that when you've said that, when I've thought of it, I'm like, should we bring this up? And it's like, well, look, if the Beaumont family… I hope this guy is related in some way and this is just extremely traumatic for him reliving this. The Beaumont children were three siblings, Jane, Anna and Grant, who disappeared from Glenelg Beach near Adelaide. How long ago?

In 1966. Oh, that's fine. So it's no wonder you remember it. Well, that's fine. You know, there's a rule where... That's fine. Yeah, that's ages ago. Like if it had been three years ago, it was like, oh, we shouldn't be talking about that. But it's like, well, That's fine. Yeah. That's ages ago. If it had been three years ago, it was like, oh, we shouldn't be talking about that.

But it's like, well, that's 50 years ago. Yeah. There's no one... I feel like we shouldn't talk about this too much. Speaking of people going missing at the beach. In Adelaide. What about that Harold Holt guy? Those children going missing in Adelaide,

well, that's no surprise to people going missing in Adelaide. If anyone's been to our live shows in Adelaide... Maybe that's what keeps happening to our audience. They keep getting kidnapped before they can buy tickets. Yeah, yeah. So... Thanks, Daniel. Slash condolences, Daniel. Yeah, thanks and we miss you Beaumont children. What if he's like the dad of the

Beaumont children? And the only reason he's like, can afford to chip into Patreon is because he doesn't have to spend any money on school fees anymore. Well, yeah. Well, to be honest, that guy would be 70 at the very least by now. Nothing wrong with that. No, no. There's nothing wrong with it.

But I don't reckon he's paying many school fees. No, but he's finally – he's like – you know, he thought – he was keeping all this money aside in case they come back. Right. And, you know, who knows? Maybe they've been – like if they've been locked away for all this time, they'd still need to go back to school in spite of being adults because they don't know anything. He put money in a trust, maybe. Yes. And it's like, 50 years have gone by and he's gone, you know what?

I've got a feeling they're not coming back. What am I going to do about this? And so we're getting that. Yes. We're his children. Yes. We're the official new Beaumont children. In many ways, it would, ways, our lives would objectively be worse if these kids had gone missing.

Yeah. So we're both glad that it happened. And maybe we're becoming one of the suspects now. One of our darker riffs on the Patreon reel. How do we go down for this? Children going missing in 1966. How do the cops end up pinning that on us? What a long corner it's been.

It began before even being in utero we were planning this. And some Agent Cooper-style detective has been listening to this podcast for a while and he's gone, I knew this would pay off. We got him. We got him. We've got him. Yeah. That's like that thing where they always, you know the most of the time they catch like

murderers and stuff because they want the they want the glory you know what i mean like they want to be found they want to be found yeah so they start writing that you know they'll like write letters to the cops and then it's like hey this looks like all that this looks the same as that sign writing over there yeah yeah all that zodiac zodiac killer sort of shit where it's like you're putting clues like you're a fucking bat sort of shit where it's like you're putting clues like you're a fucking Batman villain or something. It's like, what the fuck are you on about? Yeah.

Do you want to kill people or not? Like, stop fucking around with leaving fucking clues under hedges and shit. Well, I know I've said this on the show before, but my favourite is the BTK killer who did these brutal murders. And he starts... It's like 10 years.

No one knew who it was. Then he starts messaging the cops going, fuck you, I'm the best, you're never going to find me. And then he goes to them, hey, if I send you like a letter on a computer disk, you can't like trace what computer that was written on, can you? And they go, no. So he goes, righto, and then they open it and go,

oh, it was from this library at this time. And then they find him on the security camera and then they go knock on his door and he's like, ah, fuck. Great. Just the greatest unraveling. The he's like, ah, fuck. Great. Just the greatest unraveling. The BTN killer? The behind the news killer? BTK.

Oh, right. Behind the Kit Kat. What's BTK stand for? Bound, Bind, Torture and Kill. Oh, okay. I wish I hadn't asked. Thanks, Daniel. Sorry, Daniel. Well, fuck, he got his money's worth there. thanks Daniel Daniel sorry Daniel

well fuck you got his money's worth there this should be a new thing where for $5 we read you out and for like $50 we don't accuse you of being involved

in a kidnapping or a murder case we don't involve any serial killers in your name thanks Daniel thank you to Patreon subscriber

Ian Foster Ian Foster thank you for making us your new foster children. Very nice. Very nice. Ian, two vows, two thirds of his first name are vows, which is unusual. That is very unusual. Ian's a bit of a weird name, but Foster.

Very expensive name to have on the old wheel of fortune board. Yes. Foster the old, you've been to England, haven't you? Yeah. Yeah. Foster's, you know, to England haven't you? yeah yep Foster's you know the cliche of us having Foster's

like Australia being known for Foster's I remember my dad drinking Foster's as a kid and going oh that's the beer and then it just completely disappeared but you go over to England and I think they're still drinking when I went there

I stayed in England for three months and I remember going out drinking with these big guys and and they were like, oh, we'll buy a round. You know, what do you guys want?

And they're like, we'll have Foster's Tops. And we're like, what? You drink Foster's? And they're like, yeah. And we're like, oh, okay. And they've got Foster's Tops. What's that? And there's these big football playing guys.

And I go, what's Foster's Tops? And they go, you know tops foster's tops beer and lemonade oh and then we go you're asking for a fucking shandy you fucking idiots and we're like screaming at them great yeah the poms have done it again they didn't take it too well but isn't that true of every country that the beer that they're known for the big export is like always the shittest beer in the country. Oh, maybe. Like Budweiser is like not a, you know, it's like not a beer that people are like in the States,

like this is great. But it's the one that we know. Right. I was going to say, is Budweiser even American? I think, yeah, it is. Because, yeah, I don't know, it just seems, it's not a very American word. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I know it's known for being American, but Bud, like, Weiser. The name Weiser sounds a bit German. I might be wrong. Man, imagine if someone from that family contributed to the Patreon. Yeah. We'd have a fucking field day. Well, you know what?

I'm sure we'll hear about this, because I find this with these episodes, with every episode, we could have, I think there'll be a Hall of Fame funny moment, and you won't ever hear any feedback, but you'll ask one question about a style of chewing gum and that's all you fucking hear back. You say something wrong or you don't know something and the phone lines light up. Yeah. And it's, you know what?

The only common... Green means go, you fucking idiot. Yeah, yeah. To be fair, we should know that one. Yeah, that's understandable. Yeah. Nothing worse, though, than listening to something where the people you're listening to are posing a question

and you know the answer and you can't communicate with them. Thanks Ian. Thanks Ian. Thanks Foster Top. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Parth Patel. Parth Yeah. Which is

Yeah, exactly. Which is how rotten Ronald Chang pronounces Perth. He always goes... He doesn't pronounce it. He has this thing where he deliberately kind of... Spells it wrong. ...fucks up the vowels in words. He writes it all in caps and he's got a thing about Perth.

For some reason, he's got this private, with us, private thing about Perth and comedians from Perth and he'll always go, Parth, come ready. He's got a thing about comedians from Perth. Parth. From Parth, sorry. Parth. From Parth Patel comedy. Parth Patarmady. He's got a thing about comedians from Perth. Parth. From Parth, sorry. Parth.

From Parth Patel comedy. Parth Patel. Yeah. Cool name, man. I like it. Yeah. It's, I mean, I could guess what country that's from. I reckon I could too.

I'd rather hear directly from Parth Karmady Patel. Look, I could guess. We both could guess. Probably safer not to. Yeah. I'll wager from the subcontinent. Yes. Yeah, that's pretty safe.

Yeah, sure. And it's a nice thing to say, the subcontinent. I never know exactly what it means. Yeah, me either. But I've got an image in my head of what it means. But it just sounds, the name sounds nice. Thanks, Parth. Yeah, thanks, Parth Karmady Patel.

sounds nice. Thanks, Parth. Yeah, thanks, Parth. Karmady Patel. Speaking of Karmady, we're up to our fifth name on this comedy podcast. See, aren't you glad we're only doing – if you'd had your way, we'd have two more. We'd have another – we spend about five goddamn minutes on each of these names. We're nearly out of here.

You know what, though? To be honest, I was proposing six because the sixth one, I don't know if you've noticed it, there's been a bit of a running theme with the last one on every episode, the last Patreon subscriber. It's just been a bit of stuff in common. Like for how long? Like a week or something? I don't know, for a few weeks.

I'm not sure. I mean, keep it track. It's weird. I haven't noticed. Because of that one, I sort of made sure this week that that last one sort of kept in line with that. But now you've made me drop it, I'm just going to have to go with a random regular one.

Oh, okay. Well, I'm sorry to – I mean, I thought you were kind of always doing them randomly anyway. Well, in the last – this week I sort of thought, you know, I'll make sure the run continues because a few people have noticed it and said, oh, did you notice that this was happening? I hadn't. These people must be like very observant, borderline geniuses.

Because, I mean, I do this and then I listen back to it when I edit it and I personally haven't picked up on anything. So this must be some kind of like these people, beautiful mind style stuff. These listeners should get onto the case of the Beaumont children. Yes, yes. That's what they should do. Real master sleuths out there.

Yeah, yeah. Some real fucking regular columbos out there. Well, I'm sorry to all those people to ruin the flow, but I just really will not budge on this. I really want to do five. No worries. So just pick your random other name out. I'm sorry that you were kind of –

Well, we'll save that other one. That can be the first one next week. Yeah, yeah, we'll save it for next week. That's fine. All right. So just go with the regular one.

Number five, the last one for this week. Thank you to Patreon subscriber. I think I'm getting this right. Thank you to Patreon subscriber, Shake Comedy. Shake Comedy. Yeah,

Shake Comedy. Now,. Yeah, Shake Comedy. Now, as in S-H-E-I-K? Yes. Right. Hang on, I'll just read the further details below it. Shake Comedy of the United Emirates of Comedy. Right, okay. So last week we had the King of Comedia.

Yep. The King Comedy of Comedia. The Small Island Nation of Comedia. Yes, in small island. King comedy of Comedia. The small island nation of Comedia. Yes. In the West Indies. In the West Indies. And so now this is the United… Emirates of comedy.

Emirates of comedy. The United Comedy Emirates. Yeah. Right. Yep. Shake. The Shake comedy. Shake.

So again, this is getting very confusing because initially it was… Hang on. The last one of these for a little while now, they've all had the last name comedy. Right. Is that the thing you were talking about before? Yeah. Oh, I've only just clocked it.

Oh, fucking this one does too. Yeah, yeah. Right, right, right. Okay. Sometimes it's like it takes one thing that kind of galvanises it and sort of makes you realise what's going on. Yeah, yeah. Right, right, right. Okay. Sometimes it's like it takes it, it's like one thing that kind of galvanises it and sort of makes you realise what's going on. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, hang on, what did I take out then? I don't know. Okay. Well, I wonder what the sixth would have been. Yeah. Well, I guess we'll find out next week. Shake comedy. So, because initially it was a family tree,

but now it seems like... Well, it could be. This is just very extended family. Very extended family, right. You know, you hear about people having very, very loose links to, like, having blue blood and stuff like that. Sure. They don't often still have the same last name.

The surname's generally the first thing to go, like, when people are moved through generations. This is a very strong bloodline, isn't it, that they've just made sure they're held onto this last name, even when you're in a country that probably doesn't deal with this surname very often. You could say that about every country, to be fair. Sure, yeah. But this guy, the shake of comedy, Shake Comedy,

the United Emirates of Comedy, I believe he's a very rich man from having hit rich deposits of comedy in the middle of the desert. Oh, excellent. So, yeah. Can I ask what amount does he chip in every month? Let me check. I don't have this on the same page.

I'll look it up. You've probably got to convert it from his. What's the currency over there? Oh, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. It is – it'd be a fair bit because you'd think this guy's obviously a billionaire or something.

Yeah, well, get into xe.com and you'll have to take his amount from whatever currency it is and convert it into Australian dollars. Right, right, right. Because it's, yeah, I mean, I don't understand the currency. It doesn't, I don't know whether that's a lot. It's just a symbol that you've never seen before. Yeah, yeah. I don't know whether it's a lot or not very much.

So I'll just, hang on, I'll just change it into Australian dollars and return. Oh, Australian, $69. Fantastic. Yeah. Great. Yeah. So very, look, that's pretty generous. Probably not that generous for a shake, but still pretty, you know, I'll take it.

Why didn't that audience in Los Angeles find us funny? Why didn't they laugh? Because they were clearly getting good stuff. Well, thanks, shake comedy. If the people in LA didn't find us that funny, I'm glad the people in the UEC do find us funny. Well, fantastic stuff. Patreon.com slash LittleDumbDumbClub if you want to be part of this inverted commas fun.

So, yeah, fuck, this is weird not throwing to the episode. We've got to figure out how to end this thing. It kind of trails off. Because we do a See You Mate already. So what do we do here? We just go, we do another CMate? Do we double down on the CMate? Maybe.

I guess so. I ended last one by just recommending something for people to go listen to next. Yeah, I don't like that. That's kind of weird. Yeah, you need a bit of an end, a bit of a something. I get, you know what? What if we go, what if we sort of say buy fuckheads? I get, you know what?

What if we go, what if we sort of say buy fuckheads? What about, let's just keep as a placeholder CMs until we come up with, you know what? Let's take suggestions. Exactly. That should be a new, actually, that should be a new level on Patreon. You get to choose the sign off at the end of an episode. Yep. All right.

So very happy to take suggestions on the social medias. We've got, we're on Facebook. We're on Twitter. We're on Instagram. We have email. But chuck it up. Chuck it on our Facebook page. When the episode comes out, put it on a comment underneath the picture when we put it up. Put your suggestions in of what we should say from now on and we'll try a few of them out.

Great. All right. All right. So until then. See you mates. TBC.