The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 363 - Our Burger Tour of Los Angeles

Episode Date: September 19, 2017

It's possibly the most on-brand thing we've ever done: this week we're travelling around Los Angeles eating hamburgers! That's right, no guests, just your two favourite dickheads sending themselves into an early grave! We tried as many of the bigger chains as we could get to and we bought our portable recorder along with us. You'll hear facts, history, trivia, chewing and dad rock being played in the background. Don't forget, we have a bunch of huge live shows coming up:MELBOURNE: We're doing a huge live show with FIONA O'LOUGHLIN and LAWRENCE MOONEY! SATURDAY OCTOBER 21.PERTH: We're heading over for our annual huge Dum Dum event. SUNDAY NOVEMBER 19.CANBERRA: We're doing it again. A huge live show in your city. SATURDAY NOVEMBER 25. For tickets, merchandise, links to our Patreon and heaps of other stuff, head to our website: littledumdumclub.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbecasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Today on the Little Dum Dum Club, the grand finale of our Los Angeles trip episodes. We did something a little different. We went around. Who would you say the guest is on this episode? The guest is bad food. The guest is bad choices. Yeah, so we'll get into that in a minute, but before we do that, we need to let you know about some live shows that we have coming up.

We are going to be doing – we've got three more left for the end of the year, don't we? Yeah. Is that fair? That's it. We've got Melbourne coming up first. You may have heard about it already. Some people still manage to not find out about this stuff,

even though we plug it every week. But we're doing our big Melbourne live show at the Croxton Band Room on Saturday, October the 21st. Yep. And, of course, this is very rare for us. The first time and last time we're naming our guests, we have Lawrence Mooney and Fiona Lachlan. Yeah.

Head to head, your favourite pairing of all time on this podcast, apart from us two. Probably in front of us two for a lot of you as well though. So that is going to be very special and spectacular. If it's anything like some of the recent live podcasts we've been doing, there'll be plenty of very funny and very inappropriate

stuff that we'll have to cut out for the recording to go on the internet. Yep, definitely. That's going to be huge. Don't miss out on that. Also, we have Perth. We're going back over there Sunday November the 19th. That's going to be amazing.'t miss out on that also we have perth we're going back over this sunday november the 19th that's going to be amazing always love getting over to perth uh the perth contingent really comes out in full force it's live stand up it's a live podcast with some great guests that are making the trek over and it's yeah it's uh one one time for the year in

perth so make the most of it come over uh all the people that we usually see we'd love to see you again and of course when we do our little lap of the country we getth, so make the most of it. Come over. All the people that we usually see, we'd love to see you again. And, of course, when we do our little lap of the country, we get the new people that have gotten into it in the last 12 months. So it's nice to meet you guys as well. And then Canberra. We're going back up there. We announced that last week. No, Saturday, November the 25th.

It's us driving up with some guests, doing a big live podcast. It's going to be awesome. We went to Canberra for the first time last year and it was so good that we went, you know what? We've got to do it again. And we have a new venue. We're not in Captain Cook's Cottage or whatever the fuck it was last year with a dirt floor and a straw ceiling.

So we're in a new venue. Hopefully it's worse. Yeah, I would take the word hopefully out of that. So it's a new venue. It's a nice new pop up venue near the university I think so go to the website

go to our website for all the details if you're unsure on the timing the dates everything like that littledumbdumbclub.com that is where you'll find

all the info or if you want to jump on the social medias we're on Facebook we're on Twitter we're on Instagram we're always very busy on all of that sort of stuff

if you want to get a bit of a visual component yes we also have a Patreon that you can support us through if you would like We're on Twitter, on Instagram. We're always very busy on all of that sort of stuff. If you want to get a bit of a visual component to all this. Yes. We also have a Patreon that you can support us through if you would like, if you want to chip in and get some rewards and show your appreciation and keep the show going. Part of that is that we will read out your name.

We are doing them at the end of the show now, so stick around after the episode if you want to hear that or if you feel like chipping in,.com slash little dum-dum club or if you want some merchandise t-shirts with our logo and stuff on them uh tickets to all the live shows that we've just mentioned little dum-dum club.com is the place to go to get all of that so enjoy this episode well should we should we set it up a little bit i mean this is this is no guest usually i mean i would i'd be surprised if this is the first time we're about to throw to a clip where we set it up so are we? I mean, this is no guest usually. I mean, I'd be surprised if this is the first time anyone's listening. We're about to throw to a clip where we set it up, so I don't think we need to do any

more. Okay. Yes. Anyway, enjoy this episode. Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dum Dum Club for another week. Thank you so much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo, and as always, sitting across from me the other half of the program carl chandler good day dickhead now we are back from america we've been back for like a week have you recovered from all the shit food that we ate ah i have really you know what it's a good day to ask me because i've absolutely powdered myself at the gym today and i'm a broken man. Just doing extra stuff to try and get over the fact we were just eating shit every day over there.

Which is kind of what we're here to talk about on today's episode. Yeah, there's no guess apart from our own greed and gluttony and bad decision making. Our own prolapsed anuses just staring back at us going, why did you do this to me? It actually fixed mine up. Mine was fucked. It went back in because it couldn't handle what it was having to look at. It just threw it off. It confused it.

It saw the state of 2017 and went, I reckon I'm safer back in here. Yeah, political. So, yeah, we did a trip to Montreal for the comedy festival and then we went to New York and then we went to Los Angeles. And while we were in Los Angeles, we thought we would do an episode of this where we went around and tried as many of the American burger chains as we could find. Yeah, as many of the sort of down market or whatever you like

to describe it as, the normal people, you know, the common people food. Yeah, the flyover states. Yeah. So, yeah, we did a road trip episode recently where we went looking for Matthew Deliver Dover and people seemed to like that. And so we went, well, there's no – we don't know enough about basketball to kind of have any idea of the whereabouts of potential Los Angeles-based basketball stars.

Are there even any of them? No. So we figured instead let's transplant that over to something that we're truly passionate about, bad fast food. So let's just give a bit of context for where we're both at diet-wise in the lead-up to being in LA, because LA was the last place that we went. We started off in Montreal. I was personally very excited about all the poutine over there. That's kind of their regional dish that everyone hypes up.

Yeah, and I think both of us coming to, on our way to America, had been very good boys and hadn't eaten very badly on the way up because I think we both thought it was like being in Australia for the last week or two before we went to America was like just saving up for dessert, leaving room for dessert. Yeah, definitely. So I got in. I was very excited about the poutine.

Now, where we were in Montreal, kind of the festival is like all kind of based in the hotel that we were staying in and kind of the surrounding is like all kind of based in the hotel that we were staying in and kind of the surrounding kind of block, which turns into this big kind of weird French outdoor festival. And so for the first couple of nights, we only really had time to eat poutine from these kind of little food truck things that were set up that I could immediately tell, this isn't the best of what this city has to offer.

No, I got put off the poutine pretty quickly. It was all pretty shit actually. It was pretty average. It was pretty average. It was pretty average. So we kind of went exploring and we ended up going – I went there twice to a place called Dirty Dogs, which was recommended to us by a listener. I went there the first day and I got a mac and cheese hot dog.

And then because it was the first day and I was feeling good about being healthy, I thought I'll get a side salad. Big mistake. The side salad was more rank than any chips and gravy. It made me feel worse than the mac and cheese hot dog somehow. It was just, you know, those really shit wilted leaves and like the dressing in it that feels like it's just pure butter. Right.

Like that real, it was really no good. I thought you were going to say the lettuce was made of hot dogs or something. Like it was actually worse for you. I would have preferred that. And so that kind of taught me a lesson about being in the States where I went, don't do things by halves. If you're going to go to a place like this called Dirty Dogs, just go all the way and get the chips and the poutine and stuff on the side.

But we went back there with some listeners after our live show where that time around I had the poutine with mac and cheese on top of it. You went in like an absolute big boy. You got yourself like, what did you get? You got like a burger and a poutine and a milkshake? Yeah, it was way too much. I think the listeners were all kind of horrified at the scene that they were witnessing, to be honest.

Yeah, well, I didn't know I was doing it. Like, I thought, like they brought it out, there was a huge portion. So I actually, I was pretty good. I didn't eat it all. I didn't eat a half of it. It was just insanely portions. So I actually – I was pretty good. I didn't eat it all. I didn't eat half of it. It was just insanely big. You looked like you'd barely touched it. Yeah.

Well, look, I was being good. Like it was just way, way – like to get one of those things was too much. And it looked like it really destroyed you as well because we walked out of the place. I spent like another couple of hours with the listeners. We got out into the street. You literally just went, bye, everyone, and then just like rolled down the hill. Like it was a very unceremonious exit from you. I was pretty keen to get some exercise.

Yeah. We'd eaten already and we'd been drinking for a fair bit. And so, yeah, I was like- I will say Dirty Dogs is the one place that I went to in Canada and the US that did not have any kind of Wi-Fi in the store. Oh, yeah, right. Isn't that unbelievable in 2017? It was good over there. America, you've got one thing right. A lot of free Wi-Fi. Very good free Wi-Fi in the store. Oh, yeah, right. Isn't that unbelievable in 2017? It was good over there.

America, you've got one thing right, a lot of free Wi-Fi. Free Wi-Fi. Very good free Wi-Fi. Yeah. So then we went over to New York where I was very happy to revisit a place called Artichokes Pizza, who do a great New York slice. Here's my philosophy when travelling. Go, or any sort of restaurant, get the specialty, get what they're good at don't fuck around don't think about oh no but i feel like this today no

go fuck yourself get the thing that they do good or do what you do ask the waiter for a recommendation and then order something different no i think you know what dill's a bigger fan of that than me interesting that's very interesting he loves the recommendations. But I think yeah, look, New York for me was like, I didn't get that much pizza. You know, I think New York, go and get pizza. The pizza wasn't that amazing. You know what I discovered

this time in America, in New York was, is the little, those little stores that do the, they look like 7-Elevens, they look like little convenience stores, but they've got the full deli. Oh, yeah. They're great. I nearly had every meal from one of them. They were amazing.

Well, quickly speaking of delis, in Montreal, there's a famous one called Schwartz's Deli, which we went to a party which was catered by them, and their food was excellent. And so then I was walking past there and I bought a T-shirt from there because I love – I just love a T-shirt from a – you don't see that here very often. Like every restaurant will just go, fuck it, we've got merch.

Oh, I was rejected by two different restaurants. Oh yeah, because you tried. I tried to get merch and they said nah. And they almost looked at me like, why would you want that? But that's it, the one that I bought, they have it up in the window for you to see when you walk past and then you go in there and ask and they look at you like you're a fucking lunatic.

They were like, oh, have you, oh, what sandwich do you want? And I'm like, I just want a t-shirt. Yeah. And they're like, okay. And then there's 15 minutes of fucking around for them to find this thing. No one seems to know where the t-shirts are stored. Exactly my experience. I walked in and to an ice cream shop and said, can I have one of those t-shirts that you've

got hanging up? And they go, no. No, we don't have any. I'm like, there's a fucking one right there. No, no, no. it's not for sale. We're not stripping that off the mannequin. Yeah, so then I went to a Thai place in LA and again, and you know what?

And I've told you this. I went in there just strictly to get the T-shirt. Then I thought, this is stupid walking off the street to get a T-shirt. I'll have something to eat first. So I sat there, ate for an hour or whatever it is, then go, oh, I'll just get the T-shirt for dessert. And they go, no, we don't have any.

Oh, fuck, I just wasted a meal. Yeah, they should let you know when you sit down. It's like they'll, you know, when they go through the menu, places will often go, just so you know, we're out of the soup. Yeah, yeah. They should do that with the T-shirts. Yeah. Today's special is no T-shirts.

Today's special is skins. Yeah, jumpers. So I went, I had my Schwartz's T-shirt on when we left Montreal. At the airport they had like a kind of a little airport version of another local deli. And I, right before our flight, I went to order an egg sandwich. And the guy behind the counter… I prefer the duck, but go for it.

…looked at me furiously and just pointed at my breast, which had the Schwartz's logo on it. And he almost refused to serve me because I was wearing the T-shirt of his competition and I had to do some pretty fast talking in order to be served their shit-ass

glad-wrapped sandwich that had been sitting in the counter for fucking 14 hours. Yeah, the almighty fine cuisine of the airport. Awesome. Yeah, I was like,

you know what, if it was the actual bricks and mortar store and it was across the street or something, I would kind of understand it a little bit more but you're the fucking airport.

Like, you're literally the only place to get food at from the airport. You can't afford to be too high and mighty. Yeah, totally. So, what we're inching towards is, so we went to four places in LA and what we did was we went out, we brought the little mini recorder out and we documented us eating, eating at four different places. Yeah, and over these recordings, you will hear my enthusiasm for the project slowly die off. Because before we got there, I said to you, we should do this.

This would be a great, people would love this. Yep. And then all of a sudden I realised I was beholden to eating nothing but this shit. Yeah. For four days straight. Yeah. And there was a point where you go, let's go. And I was kind of digging my heels in.

Yeah. And you go, man, if we don't do it now, we're never going to do it. We've just got to go and do it. You basically had to drag me there. Yeah, it was real homework. Fucking, oh, man, it's tough. It reminded me of that thing where, you know, porn stars all of a sudden sort of go, do I have to go to work today?

Do I have to have sex with a beautiful woman? It's like that was us because we were having sex with the burgers. We were eating big cum burgers every day. Yeah, I mean, I felt like it was like a mini super size me where by the end my skin felt disgust. I just felt disgusting in every way. I felt disgusting just being in most of these venues because they weren't great.

Totally. So, yeah, so we went through as many as we could. I will say quickly that a big shout out to the New York chain of Shake Shack, which is still one of the best burgers in the States, I reckon. I went there by myself and I got given – what do you reckon of this? They took my name, they gave me a number and they gave me a buzzer. The big trinity. Wow.

They gave you a name. What name did they give you? Actually, that would be a good system. A restaurant, rather than asking for your name, they just go, you're Rodney. And then you just have to sit there and be extra alert. I have to say, I did go... I went to Shake Shack in New York as well with Milan.

And they did... I did have to answer the name of Kyle. Oh, really? Yeah, great. Like everywhere else. Well, this was my thing. They go, what's your name? Here's your buzzer.

And then the buzzer has a number on it. And then they get to the order and they just go 16. The buzzer doesn't go off. Yeah, right. I don't follow up with my name. Yeah. So it's like someone in the office just ordered these fucking buzzers. They're basically using the buzzers as like table numbers.

I didn't see anyone's buzzer go off. How much are those buzzers worth? Yeah, I don't know. If you walk out the door with one, what do they cost to replace? What can you get for them on the black market? Yeah, yeah. Can we have a look? Maybe we should Google it and see if we can buy any of these ones

that people have walked out the door with. Do people get on eBay and sell them after they've walked out of a restaurant with them? They're wildly unnecessary, aren't they? I kind of get that if it's a big place, you go to your table and then you can get it. When you get it where it's like the furthest table is still massively within earshot of the counter. Especially at a place like Shake Shack where we were in there and it was just, it's just chockers. It's just an absolute meat market in there of just people standing around. There's no table space.

It's not like I'm lounging around, fucking around going, I won't even notice if my burger gets caught. Yeah, exactly. This thing that violently vibrates in your hand, it's like, guess what? I'm hungry. That's why I ordered this burger. I'm not sleeping on it. I'm going to be alert. Yep.

So we started off with In-N-Out. Now, already- So this is, we're now in LA. This is the LA project. I had gotten to LA a few hours before you. I had some time to kill. I went down and got In-N-Out by myself the night before this. And so this was the very next you. I had some time to kill. I went down and got in and out by myself the night before this. And so this was the very next meal that I had.

So already I'm hating this from the get-go. By the way, I'd done exactly the same thing because you got in earlier than me, ate that, then went to a show. I got in as you were at the show, went up to in and out and got myself the same thing. I just didn't know what our schedule was going to be so I thought I'll get it in now. And then we start out the next day.

And so already it's like two meals in a row I've had a burger. So I'm already feeling shit. The same burger. So – And hopefully a lot of people here, the majority of our listeners are Australians, I would dare say. And you would probably have heard of In-N-Out. In-N-Out got a pretty sweet reputation amongst Australians and travellers to LA and those sort of states.

Well, this is the thing. In-N-Out, every now and then, you'll sort of see on pedestrian or whatever, they'll just out of the blue, they'll announce that In-N-Out's doing like a pop-up in Sydney. I think they did one in Melbourne like a year ago or something. And people just jizz their little panties over it. People go bananas for it.

I think the one in Melbourne was like a two-hour lineup or something crazy like that. Next time they do it, we've got to pitch to be the hosts of this thing. We've got to pitch to have something to do with it. Let's be the ones answerable to the people waiting for fucking two hours for a small chip. That would be great. That company that has Bible verses printed on the bottom of their fry packets, they'll want to get into bed with us.

Yeah. Cunt 316. So, In-N-Out, to this day, they are a family business. They are still, I think it's like the granddaughter of the original couple that set it up is still involved. She's still involved in running the show. Now, I'm just trying to remember what we talked about when we're there live, when we're actually there eating burgers,

but I don't think we talked too much. We only really talked about how they're specifically West Coast based and how they have kind of religious, a bit of religious stuff going on. So you can only really, you know, you're not getting in and out of New York, are you? You're not getting in and out anywhere near New York, that side of the country? No, there's two states in sort of the middle of the country that have it that I saw on a map today. They did set up in one place because there was a place in 2007,

a place sort of set up that was like calling their burgers the Double Double and having a secret menu like In-N-Out do. And so In-N-Out sued them and won and then they changed and so they were like, okay, we'll change the name of some of these things. So then what In-N-Out did was they set up their own In-N-Out very near this place just to kind of double fuck them over. Yeah. And the name of this place, Chatters.

Chatters? Chatters. C-H-A-D-D-E-R-S? Nice. That's a terrible limp name for-D-E-R-S. Nice. That's a terrible limp name for a restaurant, isn't it? Yeah. Chadders. Well, if you're going to be a copy of In-N-Out,

just call it full penetration. Call it something slightly. Putting it in and then leaving it in there for in perpetuity. Until it goes off. Yes. Yeah. So it was set up by a guy called Harry Snyder. He died at the ripe old age of 63,

which is not a great advertisement for running a fast food chain. Yeah, yeah. It's like… What year did they start? I don't have that information readily available. I think like the 50s or 60s. Because they've got a really old school sort of feel where, you know, they've got those paper hats on and all that sort of… They were the first drive-thru in California. Oh 60s. Because they've got a really old school sort of feel where, you know, they've got those paper hats on and all that sort of.

They were the first drive-thru in California. Oh, yeah. They were the first place to have like a two-way rate like ordering system where you can talk to the person and they can hear you kind of thing. Okay. It's one of the only chains in the States that pays its employees more than minimum wage. Oh, right.

So they make a point of going above what the mandated absolute minimum is. Right. Which is pretty cool. A lot of the stores do this thing where they have palm trees planted out the front in an X shape as a reference and in honour of the founder Harry Snyder's favourite movie, It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. Haggit's that.

Haggit's that. What a... All right. Mad, mad, mad, mad world. Haggard's that. Haggard's that. Good thing that's his favourite movie. Imagine if he was like, he'd love Twin Peaks and they'd just have to have a dead woman wrapped in plastic out in front of all the restaurants. Oh, man, fuck. That would be amazing. Yeah.

His favourite movie was Caddyshack, so there's a pool out the back with a big turd in it. There's a turd in the deep fryer at all times. That would be amazing. How good's that? How wild is that? Two different things going on, though. Why is there a need for a tribute to It's a Mad, Mad, Mad World?

And what an obscure reference to an obscure film. And how do you do that? How do you make sure when the palm trees... what do you have to do to the palm trees as they're, you know, to like make sure that they're crossed over? Even the people who made that movie wouldn't walk past those palm trees and go, oh, well, they've fucking ripped us off. They've done it again. It's a bit of a nod of the hat to us.

Yeah. But that's like, that's funny of them to sue chatters for ripping them off and then do a bit of Mad, Mad, Mad World gear themselves. Well, to be fair mad mad mad world aren't selling burgers and fries so yeah they're not in the same business the other thing that i love about this is that this is on their wikipedia page that this is a thing that they do but it's not even all of them it's just some of them right so so this is this is a running thing with some of these places which i love in that you know we're very used to a fast

food chain going right this is what happens yeah what you rock up there's a fucking statue of a clown on the front door has to be there there's a there's a big mac there's a this these are the way the fries are got to be cooked man some of them have got these lax rules where it's like ah yeah we've got burgers and whatever and fucking work the rest of it out yourself if you want you're allowed to kind of go off script that is really interesting give yourself Give yourself, you know, put some of your personality in there. If there's a favourite movie of yours, you know, make a really weird, obscure tribute to it somewhere in the women's toilets if you want.

Do the fuck you want. It's so, yeah, it's so good and it's so fortunate that his favourite movie was such a tame thing. You never hear of that here. Imagine being the CEO of a business and walking in and going, what the fuck is that? Oh, my favourite movie is Gremlins 2, so I thought I'd fucking put a mogwai,

a little bit of mogwai in every fucking milkshake. The guy who started La Porchetta, his favourite movie is Mad Max, Beyond Thunderdome, which is why there's always two people punching on out the front of every restaurant. And a dead pregnant woman on the side of the road out the front. So Harry Snyder, the founder, he dies at the age of 63. His son, Rich Snyder, then takes over and he kind of pushes them into really expanding

into more and more and more states. He then dies in a light plane crash, Big Bopper style, just as the expansion is really taking on and it's like, hey, this is going big. So then his brother Guy Snyder takes over. Well, clever. They didn't put the two brothers on the same plane just like Air Force One. But then the brother Guy Snyder takes over.

He then dies from an overdose of painkillers. Oh. So we recently – Well, to be fair, there's no more pain after that. He's successfully killed all the pain, yeah. We did a commentary of the movie The Founder, which is about McDonald's starting up as a bonus

episode of this. A thoroughly boring movie. Where's the In-N-Out movie? You've got people overdosing, you've got plane crashes, you've got all this stuff going on. You could just play half an hour of It's a Mad, Mad, Mad World in the middle there. You'd only be able to play the movie in about three states in America, though.

That's why. Yeah, true. So one last little thing. They have well-known radio jingles that have remained pretty consistent over the years, which go in and out, in and out. That's what a hamburger's all about. That's good. That's pretty catchy.

It's okay. I get it. They don't really have many celebrity endorsements. However, they've had radio ads done for them by John Cleese and... John Goodman. Now... That makes more sense. But, I mean, is the...

For an unhealthy food... Yeah. Do you want John Goodman as the big, sweating, lumbering face of your company? But he's not the face, though, is he? That's the trick. It's the voice. It's the voice. But people, he's still recogn the trick. It's the voice. It's the voice. But people, he's still recognisable enough.

You can't hear fat in a voice. With Goodman, I reckon you can. I reckon Goodman's got a fat voice. Okay. You listen to Goodman talk, you can hear the jowls and you can hear all the saliva kind of. I still think John Cleese is a weirder one. For a Californian brand of burger, it's not what. And you've got some very toffee-voiced person coming in.

It sounds like a weird clash. In order for people to enter the palm trees without just putting a dead parrot under the palm tree is like when they had him doing the ads. It's like an extra tribute. That's weird. John Goodman I can get. At least you know you're hearing from someone

who's sampled the fucking produce. I mean, that's fair. But it's okay. So should we just go into this now? So this is us at In-N-Out. If people want to do the reality tour, this is... Well, pretty much all of these are on Sunset Boulevard. Yeah.

The golden mile where we stay near the Saharan Motor Hotel. Yeah. It was a lot of shit. It's a fucking bad neck of the woods, to be fair. And in a bad neck of the woods, you want to put a lot of really cheap food. So that's how this works. All right. So here we go.

This is us. Stop one of the Los Angeles Burger Tour at In-N-Out. All right. So this is stop number one on the burger tour of Los Angeles. This is In-N-Out Burger, an LA institution. How many times do you reckon you've been here? Oh, eaten here? Maybe, this might be the double figures now.

And how many times have you come here to not eat? Um, well, yeah, it's a cool place. It's a cool place to hang out if you just want to wait in line. There's a cool place. It's a cool place to hang out if you just want to wait in line. Yeah. There's a million people here. Yeah, we sort of, so we're here at like 12.30, and it is absolute peak hour. Although that being said, there's no time in here that's not busy. Yeah. So I haven't even been in LA for 24 hours yet.

This is already my second time here on this trip. We're on Sunset Boulevard in Natsetool. We're just up from our hotel, so this is one of the closest places you can go from there. So we're in line. We've nabbed ourselves a table, which is a little bit rare. We've had to hover around wait. So now we're just waiting. We're about 50 orders behind or something.

Yeah, it's like I got given order number 33, and then the woman yelled out, order number 96. And I went, fuck it. Hell, they've got to get to 100 and then go all the way back around to 10. Well, we hope so. It might be 1,000. There's enough people in here. That would make sense.

So I'll talk you through. Should we talk through what we've gotten? Yeah. I've gotten the, I guess the most, probably the most, I would say what would be the most popular option, the double-double combo with fries and a drink. You can confirm that because it's called the number one. So I reckon you're going to have to put the popular one at number one. Why put the thing that no one

orders at number one? My cashier's name was Alexia. Is that information that people care about? I got Joanna. So we are different after all. So I got the number two. That's where we differ. I got

the raw onion on the burger with the... Oh, we're on to number nine now. Fucking hell. We are going to be here forever. No, no, no. They're pretty quick. I want number nine. We're on 33 and 35.

I got the lightly cooked fries as well. And a strawberry shake. Because I had this last night and it made me a little bit sick, so I thought I'd get another one. Yeah. So we should talk through, for people who don't know In-N-Out, so it only exists on the West Coast or is it just even in Los Angeles? Is it maybe just even in California?

It's only in one or two states, I think. I think it might be slightly, slightly changing, but if you've been to LA, you've definitely probably been here. And it's the most simple menu you can get. You can get a cheeseburger or a double cheeseburger and fries, and that's basically it. There's no chicken burger. There's no different stuff in the burgers but what you get there's a secret menu um where you can order

things animal style they don't list it you just have to know to ask for it where you can get by the way we might to everyone else in here we must look so basic right now yeah sitting here into a recorder describing the restaurant we're in but leaning right in looking like super creeps animal style is they cook the um i think your lady just gave me the finger. You can... Yeah, animal style is they cook the patty, like they grill it in mustard, and then there's extra pickles,

and I think it's like Thousand Island sauce on it as well. And then animal style fries is bacon and cheese and sauce and stuff all over the place. Because it's kind of a cool way of doing it. Their menu is the most simple menu. It says burger, double cheeseburger, hamburger, and fries. And that's their menu. Yeah.

That's their entire food menu. Yeah. And then they've got a few drinks on the other side. But then they've got the secret menu, which is, like, you know, 50 other things. So, like, for example, you know, you can get them, like I've ordered, lightly cooked fries. You can just be a real arsehole and say, cook mine differently to everyone else. Yeah. Hey, I know you've got a million people to get through, and the only way you can do that is by giving everyone

the exact same thing. Nah, take a little, just put them in a different bit, just for me, thanks. Yeah, yeah, but they offered it, so I took it. Yeah. Alright, well, yeah, I'm excited about this meal. Yeah, always a treat coming here. So yeah, should we we've got a long wait.

We'll check back in when we're back with the food. Yep. Alright, we're back. Guests 33 and 35. We've done it again. The orders have just come out. We're both digging into the chips what do you know you were where do you stand with the polishing the chips off before you get to the main um I want to have a bunch of them before

I get cold yeah I got a couple of handfuls get myself kind of braced chips here I gotta say for someone that's so kind of like, you know, obviously high turnover. They've got that real, they feel like they're actual cut up potato. Oh man, you go through the drive-thru and you can see them cutting them up. Right, right. So I like that. I don't know, I mean, yeah, we differ very greatly on our opinions of chips. I'm more of a fan of your, I like your thick plank, your really crispy beer battered. Yeah, I'm the opposite'm the opposite yeah these are for what they are this style of fried these are great I really like these they just could have

done with a bit more salt I think it's a very standard you know it looks, it looks like our logo to be honest. It's a cartoon sort of what a burger looks like in a cartoon. So mine is like you've got your two patties, two bits of melted cheese, there's a raw onion in the middle, and then there's some special sauce on the bottom and then a bit of tomato on the inside. The big man here has just gone right in.

What's your thoughts on the first bite now it's really nice it's about as good as i can imagine a burger right right um all right i'm going in my mouth while you just call me not single boy i'm a single um all right as you go what i do like about the in and out company is a little bit weird as we've talked about they they don't have heaps of stores everywhere they want to limit themselves to a certain amount and a certain location because there's a bit of the the old god-fearing about the old in and out burger company they're a bit they're a bit of a bunch of weirdos if you look under you your drink on the bottom of your drink they have a Bible verse and

they got a bit of, what did you get? John 3.16. Yeah, I got that one too, which, you know. Do they mix them up? Is it like a kinder surprise and each one has a different one? I thought maybe it was like a fantail. I don't know. I don't think that could be the case at all.

But I like it how they go John 3.16 and then, you know, next to it's a bit of Made in China, another one of my favourite bits of the Bible. I'm drinking root beer for the first time ever with this meal. It's the sweetest... It's 54 green! Oh, yeah, very good. It's the sweetest thing I've ever tasted. It is unbelievable how sugary it is.

But, yeah, I've had my first bite, and, yeah, again, it's like... It's just such a contained burger where all the ingredients go all the way to the edge. So when you first bite, you get a bit of everything. You're not fucking around making your way through the bun before you get to any of the proper good stuff. And what I love about a place like this is, if you had something like this in Melbourne, it'd be a big deal and you'd be paying $12 a burger. And, oh wow, how fancy is it?

Here, it's like a normal burger like this is literally a $2.70 burger here $3.90 which is what about five bucks Australian yeah yeah real good if that real good if that um so wouldn't be that wouldn't be five dollars so yeah this is so we're gonna try and we're gonna try and hit up all of them as many as we can over the next few days but we've started you know you started with what is arguably the best maybe the most kind of iconic of all the la ones but uh yeah and there won't be a busier restaurant that we record this in than this i don't think we won't feel as bad in other places.

I'm looking forward to seeing how the others kind of stack up, you know? I'd love to know from anyone who's been coming here a long time, like, has this place maintained quality at all? Had the special guest that keeps chiming in. Alright.

I reckon we should call this here. Any other thoughts? I'm just looking forward to finishing and then getting onto my Alright, well, I reckon we should call this here. Any other thoughts? Um, I'm just looking forward to finishing and then getting onto my strawberry milkshake, which I kind of feel full already, so I'm looking forward to how that goes down. Yeah, again, if only you had of learnt from your past mistakes, but I will say,

I'm enjoying this more than last night's one. I felt like last night I should just go in with both feet. I got animal style on both. I got the double-d Double and the chips animal style. And it was good, but this is just reminding me of how good just your pure. Because they do the cheese on the chips. It's just like a melted slice. It sort of congeals very quickly, and then it's a bit much.

Sounds good. Yeah, I'm enjoying this a lot more than last night's one. So this is the one that we got on record. Right. Yeah, well, great place. If you're in LA, it should be one of the first places you go to because it is literally one of the first places we go to yeah so as for the next ones i'm not as familiar with them so they're going to be more interesting i think there'll be a bit more to say about those other And we are back. Finally.

What a thoroughly enjoyable meal. So good in and out. Yeah, the number one place. That was kind of the worst thing about doing the rest of these was that it just ate into valuable in and out time where we probably could have fit another one or two in. I would have definitely gone again. Yeah, definitely.

I wish I had have gone again. Yeah. So next up, we went just down the street a little bit. And again, on the reality to it, we went towards Amoeba Music. It's opposite Amoeba Records on Sunset. This is Jack in the Box. So this is another American chain that it feels like has been around forever i feel like i always used to see these guys advertised on uh on world's greatest

commercials oh right yeah i reckon yeah they did have a bunch of funny ads and and uh back when you know you didn't have that easy access of like looking up these chains on the internet so anything american was like whoa yeah yeah totally um even though they've got burgers that are just the same as everywhere else it's like oh wow this is this is awesome yeah so jack in the box i i love just the name to start with jack in the box like just just a a nod to a toy that doesn't really exist anymore to start with and and that's what going through their history sort of it feels a little bit like that like they've stuck themselves with this name jack in the box in the 50s and gone well this is the this is a toy that'll be around forever, so everyone will love this.

This was my question. So, you did the research on this one. Yeah. So, I didn't look into this deliberately. Yeah. So, I'd be surprised by all the little fan tales, rapid trivia that come my way. Now, the logo currently, apart from just being a box, does not feature the Jack in any way, shape, or form.

Has that ever been the case? Yes. Did the Jack, okay, I'm curious to hear what time the Jack in any way, shape or form. Has that ever been the case? Yes. Did the Jack, okay, I'm curious to hear what time the Jack got phased out. It used to be a full-on Jack in the Box logo until, like I said, in the 50s, it's like, this is going to be around forever. And then they've gone on with time and gone, well, this is fucked. We've attached ourselves to a dying toy, to a shit toy. Yeah.

And it's very clowny as well so then you're just the same as mcdonald's i guess what's the equivalent like now if someone did it would be someone starting a restaurant called like the xbox or something yeah yeah yeah you just have no guarantee yeah yeah and so literally they got they phased out the the jack-in-the-box whilst not changing then i think they did change the name like like really early on the logo just has like a square like a cube in it somewhere it's like a bit of a you know there's a bit of a nod to it it's like yeah you know what's in this box don't you like you can't see him but you all know that he's in there yeah nor is there any kind of in the logo there's no crank attached to the box so there's not even the possibility as far as we know of the jack ever appearing yeah yeah so they

did change the uh the logo to to yeah yeah so they they did change the uh the logo to to just have the name they did actually i don't have it in front of me now i didn't make a note of it but they did change their name they sort of went all the way away from it and then they went so far as to just go let's call it something else and everyone went what the fuck are you doing so they changed it back within the year or whatever it was. Yeah, yeah. That is a huge move for any company. Yeah. Let alone to change, to go back. That is massive. Yeah, yeah. So they literally, when they got rid of their little logo,

their little Jack in the Box logo, the little mascot or whatever, they literally had an ad where they just blew him up. Great. Like Poochie leaving on The Simpsons. There's no need for that. Why kill a person over the fucking logo? I kind of like it. I really kind of like it.

But that's such a like, you know, we fucked up. We're making it good now. But we really fucked up. Do you know roughly when this was? That was like in the, I think it was in the 90s. So, again, it's pre-internet. So, they're hoping on, there's no way of them like putting out a press release or tweeting in the hopes that the whole audience will see it.

So you've got to put this ad on and you've got to play it a lot just in the hopes that eventually if you just show it on TV enough, all of the population will have seen that the jack has been blown up. Totally. So let's get back to that. But very quickly, just linking back to what you spoke of just before with In-N-Out Burger, how you said they invented the old two-way intercom idea. Here's another mob that lays claim to that idea.

Really? Jack in the Box. Really? They invented it too, apparently. Interesting. Yeah. So there's a little bit of a war there between Jack in the Box and In-N-Out. They're both claiming responsibility for something not that impressive these days.

Wow. Let me double check. I'll see if there's any kind of time frame for In-N-Out's one on the source that I had. I wonder who invented the burger out of the two of them. I'd love to know. I'd love to hear a spokesman from one or both of those mob going, who invented it first? That's just torn those two companies apart okay 19 okay so the first in and out 1948

uh the restaurant was the first drive-through hamburger stand in california allowing drivers to place orders via a two-way speaker system this was a new and unique idea since in post-world war ii california car hops were used to take orders and serve food you know what i think you know what it is it's they're the first californian one so maybe jack in the box was different part of the country and that was the first place to happen yeah okay i get it well maybe that's it i think you'd like this they they um when there was a two-way radio they would when it was ready for you to put your order in they'd be an automated like you had to speak into a clown's head or whatever and you'd have and the message you would hear would be pull forward jack will speak to you it's a shame that they didn't work with it i mean i would be into the name jack in

the box more and the whole conceit is if like you turn up to the window and it literally is just a box and for you to be heard you have to turn the crank. Oh, yeah. And the microphone bursts out. No, no, no. You speak into it and then you turn the crank and the burger jumps out at you. Oh, there we go. Whatever you order jumps out of the box. Why give it a name like that if you're not going to fully lean into it?

Yeah. So they did a bit of rebranding like we were talking about before. In the 80s and 90s, they got rid of the clown, the little Jack in the Box logo, the mascot sort of thing. And then they did that classic thing where, you know, they want to throw the baby out with the bathwater unintentionally. And so they go, yeah, yeah, we want to shift demographics. We don't want to compete with McDonald's because they're after the kids

and the families. Well, we don't want that. You know, the people that eat all the fast food. Yeah. They started going after, in their words, older yuppie customers. Right. And trying, like, those people aren't coming down. Suicidal mid-20s creatives.

Well, who the fuck, like, people with a bit of money. Yeah. That's not who comes and eats this stuff. No. So they fucked it. They changed the name, they fucked everything and they had to come back. But that feels like, don't you think most chains went through that phase where they kind of.

Everyone makes mistakes. But it feels like there was a point where every chain felt like they had to rebrand. It was their new formula. And I've always had a great deal of respect for KFC because they never went in on that. Well, they did. I mean, they were Kentucky Fried Chicken.

No, but I mean in terms of like McDonald's went, we have salads now and apples and apples. Oh, okay. And KFC went, nah, you know what you're getting. Yeah, yeah. You're in for a nah, you know what you're getting. You're in for a penny. You're in for a pound. Hungry Jack's the same thing.

I guess McDonald's are really the only one that did it here. So this is the regret that I have from going to Jack in the Box is that when you hear this, you'll find out what we ordered. We didn't order tacos. So what they say is that tacos are the most popular product at Jack in the Box, which is weird. But yeah, for a burger place and something else is your most popular thing. It doesn't say a lot about your burgers. Yeah, well, to be fair, burger isn't in the title of the place. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Now, what I love is, and I'm not a fan of reading it as someone else's comedy, but some great quotes involved in the description of the tacos. Wall Street Journal once said, you know, about Jack in the description of the tacos. Wall Street Journal once said about Jack in the Box, there's a legion of fans who swear by the greasy vessels even as they sometimes struggle to understand its appeal. So what I'm getting from that is that they're shit

ass food but people like it despite the shit assness. Don't you have anything like that that you love that you know it's bad but for whatever I have that with Kraft macaroni and cheese. No good. Yeah, yeah, sure. But for whatever reason, it just does it for me.

What I love about this is, and getting into what this must be like, and again, I regret not having it, but the tacos are described as a wet envelope of cat food. Great. Okay, yeah. With the saying, there are two types of people. People who think they're disgusting and those who agree they're disgusting but they still have them anyway. Oh, yeah. With the saying, there are two types of people. People who think they're disgusting and those who agree they're disgusting but they still have them anyway.

Man, well, I wish we'd gone in. I wish we could set – I mean, that'd be great. I mean, you know, it's like in this podcast, in any kind of medium like this, you want there to be conflict. So I bet – you know what I bet would have happened? One of us would have loved it and the other one would have hated them. What do you reckon? Who would have liked it? Who would have hated it One of us would have loved it and the other one would have hated them. What do you reckon? Who would have liked it?

Who would have hated it? I mean you. I reckon I'm pretty happy with bad Mexican food. Like I think I'd rather have the westernised bad version of it than the real deal. Well, then I reckon I would have hated it. Yeah, I reckon I would have loved it. Yeah, I reckon I would have really hated it. Well, here's something to put you off further,

is that under controversies and jack-in-the-box, they've had a couple. By the way, we felt like when we did this one that we fucked up by not doing any research in the lead-up. Yep. But given what you're about to say, it seems like we did this the right way around. Yeah, yep.

In 1981, they got in trouble because they found that there was a lot of their beef that ended up being horse meat. Oh, great. Yeah. They were ahead of the curve in that sense. Yeah. When was this again?

That's 1981. I mean, that wasn't in vogue until, when was that, like 2015 or something, that that was like a huge thing in the UK with Tesco's? Yeah. When was horse meat cool? What year was that? So, they got in trouble with that. And so, they had 12 years on. They thought, oh,? So they got in trouble with that. And so they had, you know, 12 years on.

They thought, oh, no, let's go again with this. They had a big E. coli scandal where they found out there was a lot of faecal matter in their food, which nearly ended it all for poor old Jack in the Box, or as they were retitled by me just then, shit in the box. It says a lot about our society that that alone isn't enough to sink a company. You know, the consumer can find out that there's literally shit

in the burgers and still go, no, no, let's give them another crack. Let's not be rash. Given their customers are people that apparently hate the tacos there but still eat them, I can believe that. I feel like Jack in the box in many ways kind of is this podcast treating their audience with absolute disdain and full of shit yeah a lot of people kind of like it even though they know that they kind of hate it and that it's kind of bad now what i love is the final thing i'll say about this is um they got a big um reputation for having

like funny ads and stuff like that one of their their campaigns was that they had at one stage, they made little Jack in the Box aerial balls, you know, like those little things on the front of, you know, old cars on the front of their aerials, which has died out because cars don't really have those aerials anymore. But so they had a big campaign where they were giving out them a little bit of a reminder every time you drove your car or went past another car, you could see that and whatever.

Anyway, so one of their ads in the year 2000 involved a man on a desert island who'd washed up there with only one of the little Jack in the Box antenna balls as company. So then the director of Castaway, Robert Zemeckis then sues the place wow which he's his case gets thrown in a court how can they get thrown out was it did it i guess it depends if it looks like it's deliberately a parody but did they know i guess they just didn't make it look enough like hey this is like a joke on castaway yeah i guess we're just like trying't make it look enough like, hey, this is like a joke on Castaway. Yeah, I guess. They were just like trying to make it look like, look at this cool idea that we've come up with. Yeah, I love the idea that Robert Zemeckis is like,

oh man, I've got to get some money out of this mob because people are watching that ad and going, we don't need to watch Castaway anymore. This has cost me money. Yeah, that's made my ad where the guy befriends a volleyball look a bit silly. Yeah, like, yeah, that's, what if the guy in that ad then got nominated for the Oscar in front of Tom Hanks?

Maybe he was worried about that. That's all they would have needed to do because it's like, yeah, parody is like fair use, right? Yeah. So if they had just had a scene where the antenna ball like floats away and he's going, Jack! Yeah. Jack, I'm sorry.

Then they would have been covered. Yeah. But why didn't they do that? That movie was popular. All those bits in it were very iconic. Why wouldn't you parody it? Because then that just makes the ad a lot stronger, I reckon. Bloody Jack in the Box is like the Weird Al Yankovic of bad food.

So anyway, you'll find out very quickly what we thought of the food itself. Yeah. So let's check in. Here we are at Jack in the Box. This is stop number two of the Los Angeles Little Dumb Dumb Club Burger Tour. We are here at Jack in the Box, or as we've been affectionately referring to it as Jack my tiny dick off box now this is this is a lot more kind of like what you're having the American style of burger chain in and out like there's a lot of options on the menu you've just

cracked open what I believe is your side and it I don't know what I'm looking at right now talk me through it. What is this? It was a poster of it on the wall, so I thought I'd get it as my side, even though it's a meal. It is some sort of breakfast where it's just a lot of cheese over who knows what, because I saw the cheese and I thought that'll do.

It's some sort of breakfast menu, believe it or not. Right. I think it's jalapenos and hash brown. Oh, wow. And cheese. It does look pretty good in a fuck kind of way. Can I grab a little bit just to try a taste? Is there any way of me getting in?

Okay, hang on. Here we go. This little bit here. Is that okay? All right. All right, here we go. Oh, yeah. It's got like a bit of smoky bacon.

Yep. Yeah, it's covered in what seems to be about three different types of cheeses. That's good though. Yeah. It's horrific, but good. I feel like, so I've gotten curly fries with some ranch sauce, and I've gotten a chicken ranch club sandwich. What did you go for in terms of your mate? well here's another very classic American thing I got an ultimate

massive cheeseburger I'm looking for any form of a normal cheeseburger yeah there isn't any yeah that looks pretty normal that's you got two patties yeah there's two patties I only wanted one patty right so this. Well, this place doesn't seem to have a standard, hey, here's your cheeseburger. No. It's all like the fucking, oh, the buns are waffle. It's all sorts of that shit. Yep.

I can't remember if I've ever had Jack in the Box before. Did we come here last time? I'm sure we would have made it our business to have. Yeah, yeah. So these curly fries are good. We're opposite. i've got a bit of nick low in the background on over the speakers so if you can hear some uh some music um we are opposite uh amoeba music on sunset boulevard um the great uh the great music store

which i'm sure will be dead in under a year or so as um no one buys anything in there. So I've just put it into my burger. It's chicken fillet, two bits of tomato, lettuce and some sauce. First bite a little dry, I've gotta say, which is probably a relief. You're finding fault with this magnificent establishment. That's bizarre.

Hey, I'm just trying to give the people at home what they want. I like this bun. It's like classic kind of buttery American bun. Pretty thin bread. Yeah, I mean, this is surprising. I was expecting this to be one of those things where you take a bite and the sauce just explodes everywhere. You know, you're just covered in fucking ranch and congealed cheese

and all that bullshit. You're actually, you know, what you've ordered is a bit... I've gone for the grungiest, sort of messiest American style stuff, but you've gone for normal food. Well, I mean, this is day four of us being here, and we've been eating appallingly, and we've got basically another two days left of it, so I'm sort of trying to start balancing it out a little bit. Just do myself some favours where I can.

That said, I feel like I should have asked for a cork with my meal to plug my arsehole up. Because then we're going to go for a long walk. And, yeah, I'm worried. I'm worried. It's well documented on this podcast that I get sick pretty easily. Like I have a pretty weak constitution. So this is going to be an interesting day of walking around after this. Oh, yeah.

I've got a pretty strong constitution. So whenever I get done over by one of these things, I'm like, work guys you've you've heard that one you've um you've really broken through this is extremely dry so I don't expect this to be more a bit juicier a bit cheesier the filling is very dry there's not I mean there's barely any sauce on this thing I don't think there's even cheese in this I reckon I've been I've misordered here I've ordered wrong. Right. How does it compare to In-N-Out? I mean, it's hard to say. It's chicken, which In-N-Out don't do. But, I mean, it's light years. Night and day. Completely different ball games so far.

In-N-Out's still a winner for me. Try a bit of your burger. I want to hear this reaction on the hash brown. I'm still going on the hash brown, which is quite nice. I think it's good. I kind of wish I'd gotten some of them. Yeah. All right.

I'm going to go for the hash brown. I'm going to go for the hash brown. I'm going to go for the hash brown. I'm going to go for the hash brown. I'm going to go for the hash brown. I'm going to go for the hash brown. I'm going to go for the hash brown. I'm going to go for the hash brown.

I'm going to go for the hash brown. I'm going to go for the hash brown. I'm going to go for the hash brown. I'm going to go for the hash this reaction. I'm still going on the hash brown, which is quite nice. I think it's good. I kind of wish I'd gotten some of it. Yeah, all right. I'm in on the burger. And again, you've gotten a side of Coke for your drink, which anytime we're here, I'm getting stick into the waters just to begin to do myself some favours.

Now, those patties, they look good. They look thick. They look nice and juicy. You've got a good amount of cheese in there. Yeah, it's okay. It's okay. It's not an hour in and out, that's for sure.

Yeah. It's okay. But yeah, you're right, I'm a demon on the coke on this trip. I'm coking it right up. When in LA, yeah, do lots of coke. Coca-Cola LA. Yeah, so I mean, this chain, I mean, this is the kind of thing that when I first started coming to America, this was one of the ones that leapt out at me for sheer volume of fucked up choices on the menu.

They've got a real great breadth of, if you want to do yourself some damage in a lot of different ways. Would you agree? There's a wealth of very different stuff on the menu. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That you're never going to see back home. But that's always what I'm looking for. I'm looking for a chain that we don't have back home and some spectacularly bad looking decisions. So that's why I'm literally postering a poster up on the front door

as we walked in of these horrific looking breakfast menus and that's why I went straight in and went, can I have the one on the door? Well, yeah, I mean, to the listeners, I feel bad that I've kind of basically sat this, I've phoned this one in. I will say this is good for, it's a nice sandwich. It's not making me feel like shit. But in terms of this experiment and this content, I don't feel like it's good for what we wanted out of this episode.

So I apologise to the listeners, and I promise that the next place we go to, I'll go in on the absolute worst thing. So, yeah, that's Jack and the Boss. Double it up. Double it up. Next time. Maybe I'll go in for seconds here.

Who knows? I feel like I've betrayed the listeners. This isn't what they want out of me. Eating a chicken. Look at how much lettuce there is in this thing. This isn't what the listeners want. You could be in Melbourne. What have you spent on it?

I've spent, on my ultimate cheeseburger, I've spent $4.59. I've spent $3 on the Wakey Bakey hash. I don't know. I don't know. I even kept my receipt.

I think this burger was, I think it was, what was it? It was like, This is your Patreon dollars at work, by the way, guys. Yeah, and then we will be, we will be starting up a second Patreon

to afford the lap band surgery that we're doing for this trip. All right, should we sign off for here? And we'll see. We'll make more of an effort on the next one. So what would you give them out of 10? Give them a quick review. Oh, a quick review. Okay.

Well, chips are really good. Seasoned curly fries are really good. Give us a look at them. Yeah. The fact that you can get ranch sauce as a side, I'm a big fan of. Seasoned curly fries are really good. Give us a look at them. Yeah. I'll have one if you want. The fact that you can get ranch sauce as a side, I'm a big fan of. I love a bit of ranch sauce. So those are really good.

This, I mean, like I said, if I was just wanting to get a quick meal and not feel too shit afterwards, like, you know, for freshness and, you know, actual quality, probably an eight. you know actual quality probably an eight but in terms of like you know fucked up dodgy american stuff probably more like a six yeah yeah what are you what are you giving the hash the hash i rate very highly yeah hash is good hash is you just dog shit what you want to get something on purpose bad for you man look at that that fucking little pool of oil in the bottom of the cardboard receptacle it's in. That is horrific. Wow. Yeah.

I think this is like a six and a half for me or something. Yeah. And look, we've just walked past In-N-Out and there's such a contrast where, you know, you can swing several cats in this store and there's no problem at all but back there in and out you cannot get in the door. Well we were going to go to Wendy's and the line was too long so we decided to come here instead. But I mean we're paying for this now. I mean there's a reason why places generally have a bigger line. I do remember going to Wendy's before and loving it so we've got to make sure we get that on here because that's what I remember really loving.

Okay. All right, guys. Well, we're going to get on the treadmill and we'll see you for stop number three. And we're back. Okay, so it was all right. It was pretty good. It was all right. Yeah. My it was all right yeah yeah now the

next up my complaint was that it wasn't fucked enough yeah looking back on it now with the benefit of time it was a nice sandwich yeah yeah coming up we'll see if you get your request coming up very soon yeah uh so next we went to wendy's which was uh opposite the hotel more or less yeah close to us. The closest one of them. The closest possible place to go to. And you'll find out what exactly. We did a bit more research.

And instead of talking before it, we did a lot of talking during our stay. So we won't go yakking on now. But yeah, Wendy's, for people in Australia, will remember the chain. I don't know. Are they still around in Australia? I'm not sure if they are. Oh, look, I could be wrong.

I feel like I've seen one semi-recently. Yeah. But that could be a thing where my brain's playing tricks on me and it was actually 28 years ago. But you tend to, you know, here you tend to think of Wendy's as like ice cream, I think. Ice cream and donuts. Yeah.

So they've gone really off-brand. Yeah, yeah. But over there, not so much. Yeah. We're going to find out. You're going to find out now the bastardised version. We're the bastardised version in Australia. You're going to find out about the original version of Wendy's.

And I believe we bring this up, but this recording takes place in just one of the worst buildings we've ever been in. The shadiest. Just so bad. We talked about how bad this neighbourhood is, where we stayed. This is ground zero. Yeah.

This is the magnet for all the crazies. Yeah. This is like, there was a constant stream of people just coming in and out of the bathroom while we were there. Yeah. Yeah, real brutal.

And this is not late at night. This was in the morning. Yeah. It's like 11am or something. This is the time where you go, when's this going to be the best, do you think? Probably this time. And it's shithouse.

Yeah. Okay, so here we go. This is us at Wendy's. when's this going to be the best do you think probably this time and it's shithouse yeah okay so here we go this is us at wendy's this is stop number three of the little dunlop Club Los Angeles burger tour. We are here in at Wendy's. We have a big day today, so we've had to cram this in at the charitable hour of 10.30 a.m. Now Carl, on the way in here you were saying you were going to avoid getting anything too fucked. You've gone in for some chips with beans and cheese on them. What would you have done if you were going to get something fucked?

I don't remember saying i wasn't getting anything fat he specifically said you were going to try and not get anything too full on like yesterday and i reckon this looks worse it's okay it's it's yeah it's not the best looking meal it's not the best looking meal at a proper meal time let alone 10 30 in the morning now i got i was like this is too early to be doing this but I also thought I love takeaway breakfast so I thought oh well this would be a good chance to get like a you know their version of a bacon egg and muffin or whatever but we come in here there's no they don't serve it they don't do breakfast in here right what do you know

you're not into the breakfast yeah you'd prefer this yeah um um to be honest I'm a slow burner I'm I'm, slowly getting into breakfast now. But I'm totally... At the light bulb edge of 41. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're finally getting into breakfast. Yeah, but I'm a big fan of them going, no, fuck it, we're a burger joint.

Eat the fucking burgers. It's the same stuff. It's meat, it's bread. We're calling it the same thing as normal. Fucking grow up. Just eat the normal stuff. What an odd man you are so anyway this is wendy's this is across the street from where we're staying uh this was the

place we tried to come yesterday but the line was too big surprisingly at 10 30 a.m there's not many people chomping at the bit to get their hands on a cheeseburger there's one guy very keen he's talking about the food a lot to himself in the corner yeah he is crazy he looks i reckon i dare say he probably listens to this. He's very excited that we're in here at the moment. He's kind of a typical crazy guy around here. He looks almost like he's normal, but he's not. He's not normal.

So this place is, it's called, this is what's weird, it's called Wendy's, but then what I've ordered is the Dave's Double Cheeseburger. Now. So what's going on here? This is, I've been reading up about Wendy's this morning. I thought I'd make a real sort of segment of this. Because I'm fascinated with Wendy's as in, if you remember, you know, the Wendy's store in Australia. I mean, that's the same, it's the same deal, right?

It's the same company, I believe. Because that's weird to call two different places Wendy's. But they sort of have nothing like this, though, are they? You go to Wendy's in Australia, or you used to, and it's all milkshakes and donuts and fucking whatever. So I was looking it up this morning. Wendy's, and you'll be a fan of this, Wendy's was established in the year of our Lord and Saviour, 1969. 1969, yes. And so it's got a bit of a lose

it's the third biggest burger joint in the world they don't officially have anything I think they're in New Zealand according to here they're in New Zealand now but they're not in Australia

now they have the Dave's the Dave's Juicy Hamburgers or whatever it is so they've got this like subsection of their menu but it's like but isn't burgers

the main thing of what you do yeah so I don't know why Wendy's been you know edged out but what you do yeah so i don't know why wendy's been you know edged out who's this dave guy i don't know why is he getting naming rights on the on the menu well not only that well it here's a here's an even bigger question who's wendy and you look it up and like the founder named it after his daughter whose name is not

wendy that'd be like if we called this if this this show was called Bruce's Podcast and then the two guys on it are called Tommy and Car. Yeah. Like, why? Like, it makes no sense. You know what? Let's go ask to see the manager and get to the bottom of this. This will surprise you.

This isn't the only store, so maybe they won't know. So, yeah. Okay, so I've ordered... I needed a bit of a break from the fries because this is, like, what, day four of our unofficial Super Size Me Challenge that we're doing. My skin is just begging me to give it a

rest so I've gotten the I didn't get fries chicken nuggets and ranch sauce for my side I've got me Dave's double cheeseburger now this is the cool thing this is the place that's known for having square burgers so this is this is the business I'm looking at a circle sitting in front of me. No, you're not. Have a look at the meat. Oh, yeah, okay. Here, let me get a good purchase on this. The bread is circular.

Oh, yeah, okay. Oh, yeah, that is cool. This is like... So this is like the Eagle... Is it Eagle Boys that did the square pizza? No, is that Pinky's? I think it's Pinky's. There was one pizza chain in Australia

and that was their point of difference was that our pizza's a square. And then you'd get them and you'd go, yeah, there's a reason no one does this because it's fucking difficult to serve and eat um so it's got you it's got a big leaf of lettuce in here which is a bit of your rank sort of i don't know a big rank cod's leaf that doesn't look too fresh i'm not really into it i'm fine with it it's the healthiest thing i've eaten in four days. Yeah, well, I had a side salad with dinner last night, and I felt my body react immediately. I got rock hard

within an instant of eating it. Alright, so hang on. Let me, I'm going to go in on my first bite of the Dave's, the Dave's Double Burger. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. It's not bad. It's good? It's not bad. Yeah, it's, um, it's a bit guilty of, um, Mmm. It's not bad. Good? It's good? It's not bad.

Yeah. It's a bit guilty of a lot of these kind of burger places. There's not a lot holding it all together, so I've taken a bite and all of a sudden it's kind of all falling apart on me. So the next few bites are going to be pretty perilous. But yeah, it's good taste, good patties. Yeah, your salad's pretty, your stock standard salad. It's nice, but it's not really blowing me away.

It's not really doing anything. This just tastes like I'm having it at a barbecue at home. It's not really doing anything that different for me. How's yours? You've gone for just your plain. I've gone for just a little cheeseburger, because I'm, yeah, they hide the smaller burgers away on the menu.

You can't really find them. They only want you to buy these triple deckers and stuff like that. So I've just gone for a cheeseburger with lettuce and onion. It's a very tiny burger, it looks like you could knock that off in about three mouthfuls. That's fine, it costs like $1.50 or something. And how are the chilli cheese fries?

They're okay, to be honest the presentation's fairly appalling. It looks like something you would get served on a plane and even on a plane you'd be like come on guys you could do better than this. Come on Qantas lift your socks up. You can't be throwing Neil Perry's name around on your in-flight menu and then be dishing up this. Qantas would not be doing this.

This would be some sort of Russian airline giving me this one. If if it was out of because that looks kind of similar similar sort of concept to what you got yesterday the hash brown with all the stuff on it that actually looked good that actually looked like something that came out and i'd go i'd get that this just this just there's no way i'd touch that i i don't i don't like the kind of nacho we think of having beans on their beans just chuck in something just just it's it's a different it's a different texture they're they're two they don't enhance a meal for me. Having said that I've eaten it all. So the Wendy's have got their square buns it's been

it's been around for a while, like I said, 1969. It's got this great history on their Wikipedia page. It sort of says all the countries it's gone into, but the history, you know when you write a history on Wikipedia and often it's been written, part of it's been written by one person and then someone will come along and update it? Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of it on their Wikipedia page where it's like, yeah, then when he went to New Zealand in 1985

and then straight after we go, when's went to New Zealand in 1985. And then straight after we go, Wendy's closed all their stores in 1992. Right. So every country they've gone into, they've closed within about five years. Right, right. And then they've come back again and they've closed again. Now this place is doing a lot of stuff. They've got a big sort of stand-up thing.

Not stand-up comedy. I mean, they've got a big kind of a standee kind of next to the counter of their specials at the moment, the bacon queso. And they love a bit of it. This is a place that doesn't shy away from having the big photos of the burgers with just the cheese and sauce absolutely just dripping out of the sides of it. You know, most places try and make the meal look a tad healthier than it is? Right. These guys have gone the other way.

They don't want there to be any surprises. Well, where this is situated, on the side of a major road, and in a shopping mall, you usually look at this shitty old building and you go, I just look at it and get tricked. How could there even be a leaf of lettuce in this place? Yeah. It just looks like a slaughterhouse or something. Yeah, it's on the golden mile too the we've been talking about this stretch of sunset boulevard a lot on all the podcasts we've done this trip it's directly opposite our hotel we're staying in it

might be the worst block in the it might be the worst block in the whole city second only to skid row in downtown it's it's it's appalling so um and we should say the restaurant it's it's really started to kick off since we got in here there's children running around there's people starting their day with a with a big old soda there's um there's a um oh here's a bit about um breakfast yeah and again another block of success from the the big big shots at wendy's they brought a breakfast menu in it in 2007 and in 1985 neither of them were successful right no breakfast what so it's just gone yeah well the big thing now they've got another thing over the other side they're um they're kind of doing the they're doing a bit of a push for their their

salads that they're doing so they've got this whole thing made fresh daily in the restaurant there's a strawberry mango one that they're pushing pretty hard and i know sorry buddy um so yeah there's a there's a big push that they're doing for the story manager seems to be down on his luck unless he's trying to sell us an ice cream man i'm not sure um if you have a funny name you can give us a dollar on patreon um The strawberry mango chicken salad that they're pushing. And again, you look at the photo of this and you go, I was almost tempted to get a salad from here because I'm just gagging for some greenery,

but I can't imagine. I just want to see what the salad looks like in comparison to the photo that's up on the menu. How is this? You might enjoy this. This will be a big one for Rad Dad. And fans of Rad Dad. In 2007, Wendy's, they had a Wendy's campaign, ad campaign on TV, that featured the song, the Violent Femmes song. You know the Violent Femmes? You know their big hit? What's that?

Is that Lister and the Sun? Is that them? Correct. So they used the song Blister in the Sun. Isn't that about jacking off? I'm not sure. No, okay. I just think every song is about jacking off until I hear otherwise. It's like innocent until proven guilty. Right, right, right.

Masturbation until otherwise. I just like the idea that someone's using a song with the word blister in the title for fast food. Sounds delicious. So they licensed that song, and the Violent Bams had a massive fight between each other, and it broke up the band. About the fact that they'd licensed it after Wendy's. I feel like this restaurant, Wendy's, in many ways,

it is the little dum-dum club. Repeated failures when they try and do new things. You know, a source of contention between people who sort of come into their orbit. This place is basically us. It's unhealthy. A lot of bad ideas, yet somehow it's still going. Still going. Man, we should try and get these guys to sponsor our next trip.

Right. So here's a very long list of all the slogans that used over the years right here we go starting so hey mates get a good head starting back in 1969 quality is our recipe mm-hmm I mean that's you that's your opening on that so that's all right good to let people know your mission statement cotton juicy no good. No, it's good. Oh, well, you'll like this one then. We fix them 256 ways. What does that mean?

Wow. They're getting more and more kind of overtly sexual as they go along. That sounds like the tagline to the Kama Sutra. Yeah. What can you do 256 ways? Rudy! Well, yeah. I can't think of

anything in here unless yeah unless you're actually having sex in here what can you do like it's not that big of a menu

there's only they've got square it seems like they've got one idea which is we make square patties yeah but it's not but it's not their slogan anymore

maybe that's why they changed it because they were like having 256 options on the menu is not is not is not good business. And they didn't even fit breakfast in there.

Yeah. All right, so that lasted one year anyway. Juicy hamburgers, that was a slogan. Is that a slogan? Yeah. That's just a description of what they do. I think that's a menu item. That's like saying our slogan is a podcast.

Yeah. That's good. I think we should keep that. It's a little dumb number. A podcast. Wendy's has the taste. That's good. I think we should keep that. It's a little dumb number. A podcast. Wendy's has the taste. Uh-huh. Ain't no place to go anyplace else.

A guy's emptying the bins and he's had to walk through the restaurant to do it. Surely that should be happening out the back. That's good. Sorry, that was ain't no reason to go anyplace else. That's not bad. You're Wendy's kind of people. But if that's your slogan, you're just saying that to everyone. Like, everyone is our sort of people. But if that's your slogan, you're just saying that to everyone. Like, everyone is our sort of people.

And you look at the kind of... We want everyone's money. And you look at the kind of... Generally, you look at the kind of clientele in a place like this and you go... Is that what you want? We just got asked for money by someone, so, yeah. Fucking war. Here we go.

Here's a good one. From 1983 to 1984, this is their slogan. Parts is parts. Parts is parts. Parts is parts. Yeah. Parts. Yes, P-A-R-T-S. So that sounds like they're just,

that sounds like they're throwing any old piece of the animal into the burger. That seems like, yeah, yeah. Parts is parts. There seems to be a fingernail in my burger. Hey, like the sign says, parts is parts. Yeah, look at the door. Explains everything. And then their most famous slogan came after that, which it must have gone from absolutely zero to 100. That's the shittest logo of all

time. Slogan of all time. And then they went to the most successful, maybe one of the most successful slogans in America of all time. Where's the beef? Oh, yeah, right. Was that them? That's them. I never knew that was them. Yeah. Oh, interesting. So that went for a Yeah. Oh, interesting.

So that went for a while. And then they went. They should have held on. So wait, that goes for ages. Huge cultural phenomenon. Yep. And they catchphrase it every, even in our country, where we don't even know. It was used in a presidential campaign. Yeah.

So then they go, well, we'd better change that. And you know what they changed it to? They changed it to, give a little nibble. That is, and that went for quite a while. Wow. this is starting to all sound like this is starting to sound like you're just reading out the discography of rodney roode that was actually a successful one right jesus all right now we're getting into the 90s we're gonna be here for an hour the best burgers in the business then they up that to the best burgers and a whole lot more i've never paid much attention to how often other companies change their slogans is this

is this seems like a lot for a company to be changing their slogans i mean mcdonald's has got like it's mac time and what else uh i'm loving it was a big one for ages when they got timberlake to do the song yeah um so then they went to the best burgers yet, they upped it again. Uh huh. You can eat great even late. That's alright. It's hamburger bliss. Okay.

It's pretty poor. It's better here. It's always great even late. Oh, here we go. So this is finally they've recognised the old, the point of difference with the square hamburgers. It's good to be square. Oh nice.

Surely there would have been a bit of Huey Lewis in that campaign. Huey Lewis would have been fuming over that. Wow. They'd have picked someone else, but him and the Jews. Do you reckon that's what it is? They tried to get him and he said, that must be it. They've wanted him in. They've wanted to licence the song and he said no.

So they've just gone... It's good. They've just done a bit of like Hungry Jacks when they had those ads where they just... They clearly tried to get that Eminem song. Right. And so they hadn't been able to get it. But then all their ads still had that music where it was like... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right. Yeah. They've gone a bit of Target Two Strikes with that one. Mm-hmm. Haven't gone the full three. Oh, here's a good one. Fuck. What happened in the mid-2000s?

They've gone from 2006 to 2008, they've gone with, that's right. That's right. It's not bad. Wendy's, that's right. But you've got to think, these would have all been tied to an ad campaign, where the slogan is coming in off the back of something that's happened in the ad. Right. So it probably makes a lot more sense in context.

Well, especially the next one. Okay. The next one is, uh-huh. I hope that was in reference to something. Not just Wendy's, uh-huh. Hot Juicy Burgers. Oh, they're back. Mmm.

They've rebranded. They've gone with what they know. They've gone retro. All right. Here's a confusing one. From 2007 to 2009, they've gone with, it's way better than fast food. It's Wendy's. Okay. Well, so you're trying to elevate yourself. What it's way better than fast food it's Wendy's okay well so you're trying to elevate yourself and you're trying to just think it was fast food

yeah it was was worse than fast food I'd have to say mine came out before I'd even finished ordering it but that's fast food wow um all right now we're coming to the end uh 2010 to 2012 is you know when it's real okay okay well i don't know if that was real what i had yeah um i mean i knew it was i mean i knew that lettuce was real but i knew it was real shit lettuce like it was real but it was like low quality i like the idea that they they think they're the ones that are different from everyone else if not this is the same as everything yeah yeah this is the most this is else. Yeah, yeah. This is the most... This place has the least... You know what we were saying yesterday at Jack My Dick Off In The Box?

That it really goes for a lot of, like, your crazy options. Like, if you want your real American-y kind of stuff, they've got it on the menu. This place isn't trying to do any of that. They're just trying to do straight up and down sandwiches. They've got a Baconator, which just has heaps of bacon on it. That's kind of the most extreme they have. So, yeah, I don't know.

I liked mine. My chicken nuggets were pretty good. I liked the ranch dipping sauce. I would say my burger was probably better than yesterday's burger. Oh, really? At Jack in the Box, yeah. Mine was a decent beef burger. But, again, I don't know if this says more to the fact that, you know,

burger culture in Australia has sort of reached critical mass where this stuff isn't as impressive as it once was. I would have to say. Because you can get this sort of stuff at so many places are doing the American-style burger at home. Yeah. But having said that, mine was like $1.50 or something. Yeah, true. Mine was like $4 or something, so that was good. Yeah, Wendy's pretty unimpressive.

Have you got any more facts? Yep. Okay. Because that was the second last lot. Oh, right, right, right. So apparently this is the one that they're still running with. Wendy's, now that's better. Okay.

Better than what? I don't know. Yeah. Better than getting stabbed by a homeless guy at the front of the Sahara Motor. Yeah. Better than, yeah. I don't know. Here we go. Better than not eating it? Because, again the Saharan motorway. Yeah, better than, yeah, I don't know. Here we go.

Better than not eating it? Because, again, that's not true. Yeah. What about this? Here's one from overseas. Here's one from a country where they do have Wendy's, where they still have, oh, no, maybe they don't have it anymore, but El Salvador went with, here's their slogan,

Wendy's is sensational. There you go. See, cut out all this dancing around it bullshit and just come right out and say it. It's great. The Dominican Republic went with old-fashioned hamburgers. Not old-fashioned, but old-fashioned. Old-fashioned hamburgers. Old-fashioned hamburgers. Right.

So that's like bell-bottomed themed hamburgers. So there you go. Well, that's good. I appreciate you doing this research for this installment. Yeah. Yeah, so we've got- What's left that we haven't been to?

Carl's Jr. is the one that I think- I think I remember that being really good. So if we can find one of them for later today- We haven't seen one. That's what I'm into. Yeah. We're running out of time. I don't know if we've got that time.

Hopefully we can get- I feel like we need to get one more chain in here. We need to really send this off on a high. For someone who is dreading, who is clawing along the floor to get to the menu before, not wanting to order anything, and you're wanting to fit another one in. Well, for the sake of content. You know, we've come this far. It's our last day in Los Angeles. This is what the people want from us.

By the way, it says a lot about this shithole of a town that the three times we've done this, sit in a restaurant and talk very loudly about our meal into a recorder, no one in any of these restaurants has batted an eyelid. No one has thought this is odd behaviour in any way. They literally probably think we're having a meeting here. Is this the 2017 equivalent

Of working on your Screenplay in a Starbucks Yeah totally Working on your podcast In and out Absolutely Totally So yeah

We did peak pretty early We went to the best place Possible first So maybe that hasn't Helped us Alright we gotta fit One We gotta fit

Let's make a goal One more before we go Let's try and get One more in Even if it's at the airport If it's an off, not a huge brand, we need to send this off in style.

Okay. All right, guys. We'll check in with you later. Mmm. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. I don't remember thinking that way. So, from Wendy's, we then had, I think we had like a day off, more or less, didn't we? We gave ourselves the last day.

We were like, all right, we'll find something on the last day. We'll find another chain that'll be close by. And I think we Googled it and couldn't really find anything within walking distance. They were all a little bit difficult to get to. We were, let's out this man, we were on the hook for half a day with friend of the show, Kyle Kinane. Oh, yeah. Who told us he was going to come and get lunch with us

and have some beers and do an episode. And at the last minute went, oh, I actually can't do that. It was a bit of a shame, but we did do an episode that day as well. So it wasn't like we were busting for outlets of places to talk about. But this was our last roll of the dice, wasn't it? Yeah. So we got to LAX and I had looked up in advance and found out that there was an umami burger at the Los Angeles airport. Now, this was one that was recommended to us by friends of the show,

Scott Ockerman and Paul F. Tompkins, because we told them we were doing this. This was recommended as being a bit more of an upmarket-y kind of thing, like a bit more of a restaurant if we wanted to, you know, have a bit of a different angle in there. It was kind of the only burger chain at LAX, so it was the only one we could go to, and obviously we didn't get the full restaurant experience for getting it at an airport.

But, yeah, we kind of – I was a bit disappointed. I was a bit disappointed we weren't going to a really shitty one. I hadn't heard of Umami Burger before it got brought up there. I'd heard of it, but I certainly hadn't seen a lot of them around. Right. So, yeah, this is us. This is kind of the last little bit of our trip.

This is us at Los Angeles Airport eating umami burger. So here we are. This is the final stop on the Los Angeles Dum Dum Club Burger Tour. This is umami burger at los angeles airport lax now where we've just been we're just we're done we're we're splitting a burger neither of us want to do this but we're doing it for you the content chaser i just spent all of my american dollars on this on a meal on half a meal i don't want it's so first of all so the umami burger the whole thing behind it is that it's um not that we experience this but it's like table service it's like they're meant to be they're like restaurants like nando's in the uk like a cheeky nando's having a cheeky

umami burger and the price very much reflects that man what we got this was 15 dollars yeah 15 dollar burger and we didn't get any of the stuff that you're paying the 15 bucks for sweet we're literally we're literally eating at a kid's table in a little playground section of the airport and uh for fast food this took a this took like 10 minutes to come out this took ages to come out and they didn't have coke i've got a vat of i've got a vat of fanta she'd run out of everything i don't know if you heard when i went up to order yeah she goes we're out of chicken we're out of bacon we're out of like they're out of coke. I got a vat of Fanta. She'd run out of everything. I don't know if you heard when I went up to order. She goes, we're out of chicken, we're out of bacon, we're out of, like, they're out of everything. So, um, umami, do you know what umami is, the word? I didn't know what any of this is until I got here.

It's one of, the word umami is, it's one of the five basic tastes. So it's a word, so you've got saltiness, bitterness, sweet and sour. Right. And umami is like the fifth one that's like you know me it's kind of like your savory kind of taste i guess okay so yeah it was started by a screenwriter who came to la and i think was it 98 i think it said that's a recent thing yeah and he basically he was at in and out and he was like going man why do people like burgers it's probably because they taste good so what if i did this but i had waiters. Eureka! So let's go in let's take a bite. The bun is shit house let's get that out of the way. Too thick I don't like too much bread it's a bit

I'm off as soon as I get home I'm off bread again the lettuce pretty good pretty good oh so we should say we've just gotten this what looked like the most classic style burger the California the Cali burger so it's beef cheese onion tomato and you have big bit of butter lettuce in there um yeah i mean this is this is like a better yet at like a pub or something back home you know it's like a and and not even you just you're on your way somewhere it's late you just stopping in yeah this is it's look we're not in the right headspace to review this well. I'm well and truly over burgers, and this is not a great burger. I was excited for this.

I had it in my head that this was going to be one of the best ones. Maybe it's the fact that we've just gotten it at the shitty airport version of it. Maybe it's because this is more, like you said, like a burger burger we would get at home which is different from all the burgers that are here so maybe they think this is exotic whereas to me this is like one you would possibly get at bunnings so bunnings doing burgers now are they yeah they should right they should do um that's one of my favorite things about barbecue like sausages are fine but when they do the old um flat meat patty on a bit of bread. Oh, it's not bad Yeah, that'd be great if you had a guy who worked at a um at a At like a doing the sausage sizzle at the Bunnings if he just goes rogue one day and comes in and goes fuck it

You know what else is going on now bristles. Mm-hmm It's like um Wendy's when i was looking at wendy's before um they've got they sort of let their stores do whatever the fuck they want all right so there's a little bit of um stuff moving around with their menus so um i like that though anyway some people parked themselves right next to it says we're trying to record this and speaking quite loudly into it. I think that it would be cool if... I like that because I like the idea that you've got your... You know, your chain has its standards that are never going to change.

But that it would make it more exciting if you're... You know, you're in a different city, even just in Australia. And you go, I'm going to pop into McDonald's here in Perth and see what they're doing. Oh, totally. That would be great. They should be every version of a McDonald's

should be allowed to have one thing on the menu that's all them. And it doesn't have to they never get checked up. They can get whatever ingredient they want. They can bring in stuff that's not on the menu at any other McDonald's. Now that would be great. I would chase that. I would check in at every one I's. Now, that would be great. That would give incentive. I would chase that.

I would check in at every one I saw. Yeah, collect them all. Pokemon deal. Yeah. Yeah. I think Wendy's just... Wendy's are just leaving off major items on their menu because they don't feel like it and stuff like that.

I think they go pretty rogue. So this was a disappointing way to finish the burger tour. Although although i will say both of us a couple of hours ago we ducked out and we um you know we visited our true loves culinary you went and had thai yeah i went to a ramen place that's down the road from the sahara and that i went to about four years ago that is as good if not better than i remember so i don't feel too but if this i'm glad i got that in because if i had waited all day and then had this yeah i would have been devastated yep um yeah i had thai thai was quite nice i tried to to be honest it's a place on sunset called uh rock noi thai and um they have a cool t-shirt for sale on the window and i walked in i was like i'm gonna buy the t-shirt but i feel dumb to not eat a meal there and and be where you know wearing this t-shirt forevermore so i ate a full

meal and yeah um i believe in lord of the rings now um and so i ate a full meal that i didn't need and then when i'll just get right grab one of those t-shirts now and they're like nah we don't have any you can have a lady singlet if you like no i don't want one it's weird when the stuff they're promoting i have that happen a lot when i go and ask for t-shirts at eateries they have them proudly displayed in the window and you go ask them they're like what it's like they just want to show off by proving that they can make t-shirts but then they don't ever expect to sell any yeah i that's this is the second time it's happened this trip i tried to buy a t-shirt in a shop that shouldn't really be selling them. They got them for sale, and then I go to buy one and they don't have them.

Maybe that's why it takes us so long to shift shirts on this podcast, is because people have just been burnt too many times by restaurants. They're like, they don't really have shirts. This is all just some little joke on their website. No, the shirts are selling all right. Okay, so, yeah, what's your favourite? I mean, it was over before it even begun in an outburger it's got to be in an outburger every time like a bit of a pulp fiction

where we sort of the the end was you know the beginning was the end really so i i mean i would say not that we got to go to one in la but for me shake shack of your american chain shake shack edges out in and out i reckon really yeah i would go that over In-N-Out. But, yeah, for your West Coast, it's got to be out of Carl's Jr. No, we didn't get to Carl's Jr. Wendy's and Jack in the Box. They were pretty, and thinking back on them now, the two of those are pretty interchangeable, I reckon.

I don't reckon there's any difference between those chains. I would have put Wendy's last. Wendy's would be, yeah, based on the side. Actually, no, based on the hash thing that you had, Jack in the Box is going to edge it ahead. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah.

Look, we did it, you know. We put ourselves on the line for the sake of content. Yeah. I shudder to think of the damage that we've done to ourselves. This was not enjoyable at all by the end of it. But, hey. I'm so looking forward to going home and eating properly now. Yeah, yeah.

I'm already fantasizing about the big salad I'm going to have as soon as I get home. But, hey, you know, maybe we can, who knows, maybe we'll get a burger on this flight. I'll come and find you. I'll sit with the recorder and we can sit and we can do one of these on the plane. Yeah, this will be the classic thing because we're leaving late at night as well. You know a classic trick where you get on the plane. I'm going to be buggered. Get on the plane and just as you want to go to sleep,

no, no, no, two hours into the flight at midnight, you need a meal, don't you, at midnight? Yeah, and we're just going to go by the time somewhere, not where you're from, not where you're going. Anyway, it's breakfast time now, we've decided. Two hours into this flight that left at 10pm. Who is getting onto a plane at midnight and going, there better be food?

Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. Not eating at any of these restaurants here. No, no, no. Saving myself for that sweet fucking congealed egg. I'm not eating at 10pm. I'm not a fucking idiot. I'm saving myself till midnight.

Alright, well, speaking of the flight, we are maybe in danger of missing out so we'd better wrap this up and head down to gate number 150 back to Australia

hopefully we make it otherwise this sweet content is going to be lost to the ages hey I hope you've enjoyed this guys and yeah so you know

take these recommendations on board if you're ever visiting Los Angeles and we'll see you next time. See you, mate. What a letdown.

We should have gone in and out again at the end. Because there is one at the airport. So we should have just done... Oh, yeah. We shouldn't have bothered with trying to get a new chain in for the last one. We should have just done a victory lap. So now, I don't know if we've talked about this on the show before, but this is an awesome trick.

A little tip for you guys if you're flying in and out of LAX. If you check in early and you want to kill three, four hours, you know if you're flying in and out of LAX. If you check in early and you want to kill three, four hours, you know, you've got that sort of time. Or if you've got like a connection or something. Yeah, yeah. This is what you do. Now, I believe this is still the case. What happens is you go out and you get on the spotted little

bus that takes you out to the LAX car park. Yeah. One of the car parks. There's multiple long-term car parking, car parks. If you go to the Spotted Bus one, it takes you out to where your car is. You don't have a car. Next door is In-N-Out Burger. So you just go there.

You get a free trip to In-N-Out. It's about a five, ten-minute drive out of the airport. It is awesome. I got on the bus once thinking that they were going to, like, you know, like I was going to be under the pump about my car. Yeah. And so I went on the front foot and got on the bus and went, I'd just like to go and pick up my Mercedes, please.

Yeah, so do that, guys. It was given to me, that tip was given to me by someone in the airport years ago where I was like, oh, I've got three hours to go. What do I do? And the guy goes straight away, in and out, Berger, just go and get on that bus. And I'm like, all right, that got three hours to go. What do I do? And the guy goes straight away, Indian Outburger, just go and get on that bus. And I'm like, all right, that's a fucking weird selling point of LAX airport. But yeah, you go out there and the planes are just like coming over your head.

Yeah, yeah. So it reminds me a bit of Koh Samui where we're on the beach and the planes are going just directly over your head, like really close. It's the Koh Samui of Los Angeles. It's like a Picasso theater restaurant. Yes. Yeah, like really close. It's the Costa Mui of Los Angeles. It's like a Bacastle theatre restaurant. Yes. Yeah, yeah, totally. So totally, that'd be one of my biggest tourism tips for Los Angeles.

Yeah. Go to the airport. It's kind of my only tourism tip for Los Angeles. Go to the airport and get a free bus to In-N-Out Burger. Yeah, that was really good. I was really disappointed that we didn't get an opportunity to eat at Carl's Jr. because I'm pretty sure we've been there before on one of our US jaunts,

and I remember it as being very good. However, they have started to push into Australia. Did you know this? Don't they have, like, one store in Queensland? They have one at Batow. No, they have one at Brisbane Airport. Right. And then they have one at Batow Bay.

Yeah. I hope I'm saying that correctly. Right. On the central coast of New South Wales. Population 11,000. I know that one. That's been there a couple of years. It's been there and, you know, you sort of go, because chains often do that where they

start off in kind of a small place to kind of test the waters. So, but this is the weird thing, because I saw them kind of making a lot of noise that they were opening that up and you sort of think, here we go. Now it's going to fucking. Yeah. All of a sudden they'll be everywhere. It's just been there for like four years now and their big expansion has been to open up in Brisbane Airport.

Yeah, that's weird. What are they doing? What do they want to happen? Hey, you know what? Maybe it's getting shouted out on this podcast. Fuck. How far away from Brisbane is it? Oh, no, it's in New South Wales.

The other one's in New South Wales. It's on the central coast. Right. Yeah. Yeah the Central Coast. Right. Yeah. All right. Well, I guess we're going to Brisbane. I don't know whether this comes out before or after. Yeah, well, the last time I flew out of Brisbane was directly after a show that we did.

Right. So by the time I got to the airport, the Carl's Jr. was closed. However, this time I've deliberately booked a flight around a meal time. Oh, nice. So that I can get in and sample Carl's Jr. at the Brisbane airport. Oh, I haven't booked my flights yet, so I will do it. I know that the Aunty Donna boys are big fans of it because they've tweeted themselves there eating at the Carl's Jr.

at the Brisbane airport. It seems like all three of them have gotten on their account and tweeted something about it multiple times. So between those things, it's like there's 27 tweets about Carl's Jr. on the Aunty Donna account. Wow. How much forward are um uh brisbane than la where they've just been smart and put their nice burger joint inside the airport rather than having to get a bus to it well that's the

thing i mean lax for being such a big international hub is a shithouse airport in terms of food and options and stuff it's gotten better it's gotten better. It's gotten better. That bit we were in was a lot better. But, yeah, so, yeah, look, Carl's Jr., if you want to really make the big push into Melbourne, Sydney and your big capital cities, hit us up, bro. You've got to get us on board to start spruiking this thing. We could be like, do you remember in like 2005 or 2006

when they had those ads with Paris Hilton in the bikini washing the business. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That could be us. Oh, they're the ones that have the bikini girls in their American ads. Yeah. Yeah, right. Okay. That could be us here.

Yeah. If you want to get rid of that, you know, look, I don't want to be selfish. I'm just thinking of you guys. I don't want you to be associated with any sort of sexist imagery that's not cool these days. If you want to be progressive, get two blokes with their big sausages hanging out to promote your menu. That's not cool these days. If you want to be progressive, get two blokes with their big sausages hanging out to promote your menu. That's what you should do.

Yeah. Okay, so thanks for listening, guys. We hope you enjoyed this little bit of a different flavour, pardon the pun, for this week's episode. Hey, you know what? You know what I would love? If anyone is in Los Angeles on a holiday coming up, do the Dumb Dumb Reality Tour. Walk past

the Saharan Motor Hotel. Get a photo out the front of In-N-Out. And let us know what you think about our judgments of those places, whether we're on the ball or not. Yeah, yeah. So, guys, thanks very much for listening. We've got shows on sale at the moment, littledumdumclub.com, all the T-shirts and stuff at the website.

Thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time see you mates and we are back oh finally it's weird to do intros to stuff that's just more of us yeah and outros yeah yeah yeah he's um he's an introduction to this guy you might know him it's us it's just this but like with a little break in between. Yeah. So thanks for sticking around. This is a new setup for us, a relatively new setup. We're giving people the option of turning off.

And for you committed people that want even more free content, this is for you. This is the bit where we read out the Patreon names, where all the people that have supported us. And again, thanks very much to everyone who does this because it's a lovely thing of you to do. You get the show and you get a little chance to show your appreciation. And we literally, we very, very, very much appreciate it

because it monetises this show and it keeps it going. And without it, you know, I don't know if we could be doing this for six years with no money. I think we would have thrown in the towel by now. So thank you. So what about if we say we just went around the States and we, you know, this episode that people just heard, we were eating hamburgers and stuff at these different chains.

What if we say that this week, this week's Patreon names that we're about to read out, these people funded that specifically. Okay. That's where their money went. All right. Into those burgers. So we went to five different burger places, did we? Yeah.

Okay. All right. Nice. Why do you say that? Why do you say that? So, well, I mean, if there's five different burger places we went to, I guess that means that we have to do – we sort of have to mix it up and do five names this week.

I guess. Yeah, okay. I mean, I was going to – I'm not even sure if we definitely went to five. I was just going to count in my head. But five sounds good. Should we go back and list them all and figure out whether it was five or not or should we just push on? I think we should just push on. Okay.

I'm happy to just like take your word for it. All right. Well, it's not really my word. I just guessed. I'm not backing that assumption. But anyway, look, we don't have time. I've literally got to go to the airport very soon. Yes, yes.

We can't fuck around too much. All right. We can't fuck around too much. Yeah, yeah. All right. We can't fuck around too much, which is why we're about to fuck around for a fair while. I did suggest to you maybe let's not do the Patreon names for a couple of weeks. Hey. That was vetoed immediately. Yes. In spite of you being the one who's on the tighter time schedule.

Exactly, because you know what? I'm feeling for the listeners, and I know that this is their favourite part. Thank you to Patreon subscribers. How many were we doing again? Five. Right. Entirely for people at home. Right.

Thank you to Patreon subscriber David Plant. David Plant. Yeah. Well. He's planted his hand in his pocket and he's pulled it out with some cash for us. He's put a little seed in the ground. He's given it a bit of a water each day and then wouldn't you know it, cash for us. He's put a little seed in the ground.

He's given it a bit of a water each day and then wouldn't you know it, a big old money tree's popped up. It's 8 a.m. for people listening. This may not have the same kind of usual flair that it does because we've both just woken up. And we went out last night. We were at a party last night. So, no, this stands up. This stands up.

This is us. I can see both of us. We're both rubbing our eyes and going, no, let's get funny. That's going to happen real soon. Yeah. Maybe this will be the best one we've ever done. And then we'll just go, we have to do these at 8 a.m. every time from now on. It's unlikely.

It's the comedy hour. It's based on so far. I mean, most comedy clubs are open at 8 a.m. Because that's when performers and audiences both want to have a really good time. I did a gig in Los Angeles where by the time I went on it was pretty close to 8 a.m. And that was the best gig you ever did, yeah? Yeah, for sure. Great.

Well, thanks, David Plant. You just paid for In-N-Out Burger. Yeah. Oh, excellent. Oh, good choice, David. Wow. Not the first time I've paid for a bit of In-N-Out. What?

You've... Wait. Hang on. You've paid for sex before? Yeah. I don't know why I just admitted that. Must be something about 8am. Just the honesty. I think the next Patreon subscriber paid for that for you, I believe. Okay, let's go. What have we got? Thank you to Patreon subscriber Michael Keane. Oh, nice. It sounds like... Michael Keane, that sounds like you. That's probably the fake name you left when you booked in for sex. Do you reckon he'd ever be nicknamed Mustard?

Oh, yeah. Someone would have done that. I can't be the first. That was the first thing I thought of. Yeah, yeah. So he's copped that a lot. So we've got to get something else out of that name, I think. But, yeah, look look harking back

to the revelations that you paid for sex interesting i've not paid for sex i just want that i know what people are like and i know there's always someone who's going to take it completely at face value and i don't want that out there about me right not that i have any objection to it it's just so you are going to do it then? If people… I think I would do it, yeah. Would you? I don't think I have any specific objection. Yeah. Like I probably…

Like I wouldn't. I don't think I ever will but it's not for lack of… Do you know what I mean? It's not because I think it's like a bad thing to do or I would like to be opposed to doing it. I'm sort of a little bit impressed by it. Like I don't think I could physically do it just because the way – the whole setup of it and going in there with a person I've never met

and going this is a very mechanical process, I don't think it would physically work for me. So for people that can do that, I'm like – So what are you trying to say? Does your dick not work? No. Yeah, that's what I'm very much trying to say. No, the whole situation doesn't

turn me on so yeah yeah right the bureaucracy of like turning up and yeah yeah and being very awkward and going oh this is money changing hands and how is that supposed to inspire me to get in that sort of mood so so what i'm trying to say is for people that can do that on both sides of it i'm like wow well like that is some method acting going on. That's really pushing things through and making your body do something against its natural order, I think. Well, thanks, Michael. You'd have to be very keen, is what I'm saying, to make it all happen. Just like you, Michael.

Wow, this is – from Michael Keane to this next one, and given that topic that we're talking about, this is quite appropriate. Frank Prostitute. That's a good mix of names there, Frank. Frank. Frank's always a good one to put at the start of a fake comedy surname. If you cannot mention names like that again, because we will get letters, we will get emails of the use

of that word, Frank. People object to that word. It is sex worker prostitute, okay? It's outdated. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Christopher Horn. Oh, the Horn of Gondor. He has given us the Christopher if you know what I'm saying.

I'm feeling after that money you gave us, I'm feeling very Christopher-y. Nice. You know, from Austin Powers, do I make you Christopher-y? You know that quote? Yeah, I do. Yeah. Wow, that's – I like it as a name, but that's in the tough childhood category. Yeah, totally, totally.

Christopher Horn. Yeah, what are you, I mean, I think that's a guy, Christopher Horn, and, you know, we get to know a few of our listeners through the social medias. Their names ring bells, or horns, as it were. But this guy, I think, is one of these guys that sends us very excellent illustrations on the social medias. So I think he's done a few little cartoons. Oh, okay. Yeah, and so very, very happy for you to continue doing that

whenever the fancy takes you. Speaking of which, let's give a quick shout out again to the Dum Dum 90s account on Twitter. Oh, yeah. Which the other day made a meme of us that was one of my favourite current meme formats. It was us and it was he protect, he attack, but most importantly, she'll be back.

Yeah, yeah. Hey, we really appreciate all the people that make a bit of content on the social media. So keep that up. All those, yeah, I mean, have a look at all the fake dum-dum accounts that happened about a year or two ago. If you're ever thinking, should I do this? And you're in doubt about like, I don't want these guys

to think I'm weird or whatever, please do it because it is very much appreciated. Like we genuinely love seeing that stuff, especially if it's good. Dum-Dum 90s is the standout though. Yes. He's a guy that i'm like i don't know who he is and i don't want to know who he is yeah yeah he's just like my favorite

man figure that just swoops in i'm like wow thank i'm glad you're around my favorite twitter account is seinfeld 2000 and i they i read a story about who the guy actually is and i wish i had not seen it right because he's like some very well guy, works at an ad agency or something. And I was like, oh, I kind of like the idea that he's just some fucking mental case. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just locked in a basement somewhere. Yeah. Just an actual insane person.

Yeah. Thanks, Christopher Horne. Thanks, Horne. Thanks. Thanks, Horndog. Yeah, Horndog. Yeah. Is that what you've called?

What's the worst one? Horndog Millionaire. Yeah. All right. That's a good one. That's a new one that you have never gotten, Christopher Horne. Wow, all right. But speaking of nicknames for people through the Patreon, we're doing this in Sydney where we were reunited the other night

with Paul the Squirter McWhirter. Yeah. A man who, it feels like we really changed the course of his life with that Patreon read. Yeah, I think we did do it in we really changed the course of his life with that Patreon read. Yeah. I think we did do it in some small, minor way because he – He's lent into it. He's now self-identifying as Squirter.

Yeah. Like after emailing us to say that he'd been repressing it for years and years and years, he's now just owning it. Yeah. And he's looking good. He came to Koh Samui with us. He was part of the festival over there, an attendee. And then I think we can say this.

I think we already have said this. Yeah, yeah. He went to rehab straight after that. So he had a big… Already planned before the festival, we should say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That festival didn't make people need to go to rehab in particular. It was the last planned blowout.

He went to rehab. Then we saw him at the Opera House the other night, which is an episode coming up. And he was looking good. He looks very good. It's done very well. So good for you, squirter. Do you want to fuck squirter? Well, when I give a compliment to anyone, that's, you know, I can't get it up for a

sex worker, but for squirter. Yeah. As long as it's for free, I think that's it. Yeah. Okay. I can't. Paying for something makes my penis go limp. Yes.

That's what it is. Yes. So if you're giving them out for free, Squirter, I'm raging and ready for you. I'll give you the Christopher Horn, in fact. Ah, nice. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Chris Costa. Chris Costa. Mm.

I feel like we've, have we had him before? No. I don't know. I recognise the name. Yeah, maybe it's through the socials. I think he's a repeat offender on the socials. Yeah. Well.

Costa. Where do we start with Costa? Costa. So Greek, I'm thinking. You reckon? You don't reckon? This podcast has ended up Costa-ing him a little bit of money every month. Yeah.

Well, if you are Greek and you've chipped into us, I've got to say I'm so happy. I'm about to start dancing. And what dance will I be doing? Why, Zorba's dance, of course. What? I don't know. How does that come back to anything? I don't know.

How have we got a surname like Costa and that's the best we've come up with? We're going to dance like Zorba. Gracious of you to say we when it was me going rogue. I appreciate you saddling some of the blame for that. I'm happy to stand in front. I see the bullet coming and it's grazed me on the way through and I'm fine with that. I've stepped in front of it.

I copped it. Chris Costa. Fuck, it really is. See, it's is not so easy is it i know now that the zorba stuff's gone you've got nothing left to work with that's right i was about to go into the zorba god fuck we've done that that's the obvious one what else is there um look chris look it's a bit of alliteration. Chris Costa, CC. Now, I'm always fascinated by the alliteration in names. I can't believe that any parent does it. I find it bizarre. To me, I would think that's just stay away from giving your kid a first name that's got the same first letter as the last name.

Just stay away from it. Question for you, Tommy Daslow with no notice. Today, you get a call. You get a call from the sex worker that you went to recently that you were talking about in length just before and she said, you know how you walked in, you slapped your 50 bucks down and you said, absolutely nothing but bareback thanks

and then she's come back and gone, okay, and then you've got the call today, and you said, absolutely nothing but bareback thanks. And then she's come back and gone, okay. And then you've got the call today, go, congratulations, Tommy. You're going to be a father. What are we going to name the kid? What's the rules? Fucking long-winded way to just ask me what I would call a kid. Yes.

Have you listened to the Patreon read before? I mean, I don't think a sex worker, if she call a kid. Yes. Have you listened to the Patreon read before? I mean, I don't think a sex worker, if I'm – Forget that bit. We're talking about – No, that's the interesting bit. If she is indeed allowing me to go bareback, I'd like to think she'd have some kind of birth control plan in place. Well, guess what? She didn't.

You're now going to have a kid, Tony. I just want to debate that it's mine. I'm not naming it. I'm going on Maury Povich. Right. Well going to have a kid, Tony. I just want to debate that it's mine. I'm not naming it. I'm going on Maury Povich. Right. Well, we got through all of that. It's yours. Now it's the naming rule.

We go on Maury to find out if it's mine, and then we go on Maury a second time to work out what the name's going to be. You're fighting against that, and then the second time you just open your arms and you go, all right, let's do it. Alliteration's out. Right. Danny Daslow, none of that. She goes, Donald Daslow, what do you think?

No. Not into it? Not into it. Dean, Dean Daslow. No. No. So you're very much against your kid being a bit of double D. Yeah.

She's not going to take after her mum, obviously. Was that all it was just to run up for you to do that no no that just came to me and i was very happy with that yeah um so but like so there's a bunch of names what what sort of names would you get rid of give us give us a few names from your you know the old rule of say you hated someone in school oh wow so now you can't call a kid after that. You know, I'd be, as much as it's like the kind of go-to joke now in stand-up of like how fucking weird people are getting with the naming of their kids, I would be one of those people. I wouldn't want to give my, like I'd go for an interesting name.

Oh, you'd go for an interesting name? Not like a Tom or a Daniel or whatever. I'd go for, I'd go fucking, you know. Like what? I don't know. Give me one example of an interesting name. Who's someone you know with an interesting name? Present coming excluded.

You mean like a modern name or just a really out there name? Just names that you don't hear that often. You know, like a name just off the top of my head, not saying I want to call a kid this, but like Tyler. You know, a name like that that you don't hear all the time. You like that? I like that, yeah. You know, like a name just off the top of my head, not saying I want to call a kid this, but like Tyler. You know, a name like that that you don't hear all the time. You like that? I like that, yeah. I like that as a name.

What about – Why am I the one being grilled when you just got married and if either of us is closer to having kids, it's definitely you? Well – Something I'm on record as saying I do not ever want to do and now I'm being asked to consider this. Yes. Well, I just know something you don't know.

I got a call before. Why are you fielding the calls about me and my pregnancy? This is a very wild and stretched out there hypothetical. There's a lot of things that aren't making sense. To finish this little bit off, give us three names that you would not call your kid because of people you didn't like at school. Carl. You didn't like me even back then in school.

Yeah, I just knew something about the name just was written in the clouds. To be fair, you would literally, what if your partner comes to you and says, yeah, Carl is like a family name. I really want to call our child Carl. Fuck, that's a tough one. Then I say, bye, bitch. Carl Daslow. Like names of people I don't – well, you know, honestly,

it's like Donald is fucking done forever, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Like that's gone. You went to school with Donald Trump? Yes, yes. Wow, nice. All right, all right. No Donald, no Carl.

All right, we've got one more to go. Speaking of fuck names. Why did you say that? Well, I just thought we've had four great names, but law of averages means that we're probably due a bad one. Oh, yeah, okay. Or a weird one. Sure, sure.

Actually, I'm looking at it now. This is a bit of a weird one. We'll see if this is a name. It's very different. I haven't seen this as a first name, actually, this next one. So maybe this could inspire you if you have a child. I'm not having a child. But it's not planned always.

You could accidentally have one. Not likely. No? You are accident proof. I got the snip when I was 15. You are officially sterile. Yes. Right. Okay. Alright. Well, he's hoping for a little miracle because I want to see the Dassault fictional bloodline run on. Here we go.

Number five for this week, which I believe, if we check my records, is what we said we were going to do. Just the five. So here we go. Thank you to Patreon subscriber. Okay. General Comedy. General Comedy. Now, do you think this is – this could be one of two things.

This could be like a kind of like a military-based thing. Could very well be. Or it could be just general comedy, the general very idea of comedy. General comedy, not specific comedy. Not comedy about dogs. Right. Just comedy as – you know, comedy about anything. So this is sort of instead of a person sponsoring this week,

this is like a genre sponsoring us this week. The first genre that has given us money. Which do you think it is? Because sometimes when the comedy family or people with the last name comedy have chipped in, there's been some kind of follow-up information. Yeah, you're right. Is that coming? I haven't read down that far yet, but it's a good point that you make.

But I would also like to suggest another option, which is given what you've just been saying, you like these interesting names that you don't see every day, maybe this is just a guy with that interesting – where the dad has just gone, your name is General. Oh, that's not bad. It's just a Christian name. It's not a bad name, actually.

It sounds pretty good. Yeah. General Dassolo? Yeah. What do you think? Yeah, that's all right. That's all right. That is a great first name

especially paired with dasolo it sounds really good general so you've got imagine you was like a five-year-old going into primary school and it's like oh hello general dasolo i was like wow this guy has gone up through the ranks very fucking quickly what how did he get up there what has he done how many kills has he got under his belt to get to general? This kid must be a psycho. Yeah. At age five. Yeah.

That's impressive. So look, there is, yeah, we can only speculate on this one, on general comedy because there's no details put here this week. Oh, okay, no detail. I would like to think that, I'm going to go out there and say it unless we get here anything otherwise that this kid is just – that's just his first name, General Comedy. Okay. He's not actually in the army or anything like that.

Okay. It's just a very well thought out thing for his future. Maybe his parents are military fans and they've just put the name out there to sort of inspire him to go into the military. And so we have no idea where he fits in in the comedy family tree. Yeah. He's kind of an outlier. Yeah.

So for the real heads out there updating the family tree, he's going to have to kind of just sit in like a kind of a question mark. I am happy for the people that are making the comedy family tree to put them where they believe he belongs, whether he is a child. Oh, you're offering up a bit of creative licensing. Yes. Right, right. Totally.

Well, if general comedy is not going to give us the full details, I'm happy for us to create the background for him. Yep. Or her. Or her. Yep. Can you be a general? Is there a female version of general or is it just general?

Oh, my God. Let's not get into this. I don't know. But you're saying it's just a name. So, of course it could be a woman. But I don't know if that's a boy or a girl's name, General. Ah, well, okay. Could be anything.

Who knows? Yep. Well, thanks, General. Thanks, General. Thank you, too. If you are related to, we have had a surname comedy that's chipped in a few times. So, if you are related to those guys at all, you know, thanks once again. And thanks to everyone who contributes on Patreon.

We really appreciate it. So, yes, we hope you enjoyed this episode. Come and see us in Melbourne, Perth and Canberra. Get a T-shirt, littledumbdumbclub.com. Let us know if you enjoyed this episode because, once again, this is a bit of a different sort of episode that we thought we'd have a crack at because you seemed to enjoy the one where we went and chased Matthew Dell of Edova.

So we thought, well, here we go. This is on brand. Let us know if you like this and whether we should be doing anything like this in the future. And we're still waiting for more submissions for a sign-off for the end of these things. Oh, yeah. So as we always say at the end of the patreon read yes

um see you mate time to go to the airport oh yeah i gotta go this podcast is part of the planet broadcasting network visit planetbcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates i mean if you want it's up to you