The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 370 - Nick Capper & Nick Carr

Episode Date: November 7, 2017

This week we welcome a first timer onto the show - It's Toowoomba's favourite son, NICK CARR! We're also joined by our resident trust fund baby NICK CAPPER! We go deep into Carr's history with The Little Dum Dum Club - from humble beginnings messaging us on Facebook at 1am, to performing stand-up at the Koh Samui Podcast Festival Gala. Fix yourself a big bowl of spaghetti bolognaise and enjoy!Don't forget, we have a bunch of huge live shows coming up:PERTH: We're heading over for our annual huge Dum Dum event. SUNDAY NOVEMBER 19.CANBERRA: We're doing it again. A huge live show in your city. SATURDAY NOVEMBER 25. MARYBOROUGH: Is this the worst idea ever? Let's find out! We're doing a live show in Karl's hometown.For tickets, merchandise, links to our Patreon and heaps of other stuff, head to our website: littledumdumclub.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with guests Nick Capper and first-timer Nick Carr. But before we get into the episode, we need to let you know that today the show is being brought to you by two very fine stand-up comedians, Damien Power and friend of the show, Dilruk Jai Singer, who are doing shows at the Giant Dwarf in Sydney as part of the Yak Festival. Friday the 10th of November, you can see Damien Power in his show, Utopia, now in 3D. And then Saturday the 11th of November, Dilruk Jai Singer in The Art of the Dil, and Dil's parents are going to be there.

Is that really what is needed on the ad? This is mentioned in the copy that they got me to read out. And I quote, Dil's parents are going to be at that show, so that will be amazing. So I don't know what they're planning. I don't know what Dill's management thinks. Maybe they're in cahoots with his parents to, like, flash mob the show or something.

Wow. Okay, well, if you're thinking you've seen all of Dill's material, well, yeah, you can pay your bucks to go and see where it all began. Yeah, if you're looking at him on stage and going, boy, I wonder what created this that's happening in front of me. You can look to possibly your left and your right and they'll be sitting right next to you. If you're thinking, I wonder how it all began for Dil. Not comedy.

I mean life. Like you can literally look at the things that produced him. The things? No, I mean like the body parts. I mean the body parts. You can look at them. You think they're going to be turning up nude to his show. Maybe.

Well, why else would they mention it in the copy? I don't know. Surely this is like a making of. Is this like a making of show? I have to assume that Damien Power's parents aren't attending his show because there's no mention of that. Yeah, right. But, yeah, they're two fantastic comedians.

Of course, you all know Dil. Damien has never been on the show, but a fantastic stand-up comedian. He's done both of our gigs pretty regularly. Super funny. Nominated for the best show at the Melbourne Comedy Festival, like, what, three or four times now or something like that. So, yeah, you're in safe hands with both of those gentlemen. Yakfestival.com for those tickets.

Go out and support those guys and, yeah, do the right thing because they're supporting the show this week. Yeah, let them know you came because of us. Yell that out in the middle of the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Especially, like, in the middle of a demo show. Hey, mate. Never been on the show, but thanks for the support.

Hey, that thing you've never been asked to be on. Thanks for the money. It is interesting because, like, we get a lot of people who will tell us that, you know, they saw Dumb Dumb T-shirts in the money. It is interesting because, like, we get a lot of people who will tell us that, you know, they saw Dum Dum t-shirts in the audience. And it's always done with a bit of a vibe of, like, yeah, you're rat bags in the crowd. It's like, you're welcome. You're welcome that we've created this little network of freaks that love going to stuff.

And thank you very much to all the listeners that go out and see the live stuff and wear their Dum Dum shirt there because it gives us a bit more validity. Wow. Wow. Yeah. I think we've destroyed that validity with this ad that we've done for Damien and Dil's management. It's a bit too much behind the curtain, I think. I think we've really fucked it royally.

Yakfestival.com, go and see those two shows in Sydney, Friday the 10th of November for Damien, Saturday the 11th of November for Dilruk. Nice. And, of course, we have our own stuff to plug, Perth, November the 19th. It is coming up very closely. It's going to be a lot of fun.

Great numbers already. Great numbers already. So we just need a few more and let's – you know what? Every time we go interstate, we tend to get more people each time we travel to a city. So please, if you're not coming already, grab your ticket and we'll break our attendance record in Perth once again. Yeah, really looking forward to that trip. Some great guests coming with us. That's going to be heaps of fun.

What's the date again? Sunday, November the 19th. Right. Yes, a huge afternoon of stand-up and live podcasting. Following that, the next weekend, Saturday, November the 25th, we are in Canberra. Anything else going on that night? Not that I'm aware of. No, no. Absolutely massive superstars of music or anything.

So you've got nothing else to do, so come and see us. Yes, so come check that out. That's going to be heaps of fun. Come along. But, man, fucking don't Adelaide it up. Like, you know, at the moment we're looking at the sales and going, you know what, this is down on last year. Like, we came back to Canberra because, you know,

the numbers were so great last year and we're like, fuck, why wouldn't we come back? Well, if it keeps up like this, we won't be coming on last year. We came back to Canberra because the numbers were so great last year and we were like, fuck, why wouldn't we come back? Well, if it keeps up like this, we won't be coming back next year. So don't be like Adelaide. Be like Canberra 2016. Yeah, we're staying in Queanbeyan because there's no accommodation available in the city of Canberra. Save it.

Real good. So that's going to be great Saturday November the 25th And then What do we have We've announced A bonus Patreon show

That is free If you are a subscriber On Patreon Check your email You should have been Sent a All the details about that And that's the date

That's December the December the 2nd 2nd on the Sunday So if you're a patron subscriber You get in for free It is a special little show That we're going to do in Melbourne. You'll find out all about that.

It's at the European Beer Cafe. And once everyone takes their allocation, we'll have a few spare tickets. And then we'll be putting them on the social medias, on the Twitters, on the Facebooks, on the Instagrams. And there'll be a handful of tickets that we will potentially sell, I believe. And then you get to come and see that. It is not a normal show. It is a Patreon read-only show. It is the favourite bit of some people that listen to the show.

But it's going to be very different for us. I think it's the furthest from a normal show that you can possibly get. By every definition of the term normal. It's going to be heaps of fun. Yeah, it's going to be great. A lot of people have been saying, oh, God, yeah, how's that going to go? Like, we're aware. We're going to make it good. You know, don't worry. It go? Like, we're aware. We're going to make it good.

You know, don't worry. It's not going to be like this. It's going to be actually good. And, of course, you only get to hear that show. If you don't go to see it live, you only get to hear it if you're signed up with our Patreon system, patreon.com slash little dum-dum club. Of course, you get to get all these bonus sort of stuff like, you know, bonus episodes, bonus magazines, and your name read out all these bonus sort of stuff like, you know, bonus episodes, bonus magazines,

and your name read out, all that sort of stuff. And that, of course, will be done at the end of this episode once again. Yes, yes. So stick around for that. And looking ahead to 2018, we have a live show on sale in Maryborough, hometown of one Carl Chandler. That's going to be heaps of fun.

That is on January the 13th, I believe. Yeah. 2018. At the Violence Society. Very interesting in that we've already heard from many people that have booked accommodation in Maribor for the night, which is, man, fascinating that we are going to be – the Little Dum Dum Club is going to be one of the biggest things

to happen in Maribor tourism in years. Yeah, it should be great. That's going to be a lot of fun. And then, of course, the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival for 2018, if you would like to come to that. All of fun. And then, of course, the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival for 2018, if you would like to come to that. All of those shows, we have information on our website, littledumbdumbclub.com.

That's the best way to find out all these dates, all the ticket links, all the stuff you need is there. Stick around at the end of the episode for the Patreon name read. But for now, let's bring you this new episode with Nick Capa and first-time guest on the show in a sterling debut, our friend Nick Carr. And he's very good. Hey, mates.

Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo and sitting opposite me, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'dayay dickhead. Doing a rare after dark session. This is like when we used to sneak into the radio station. Yeah, except we snuck into a pub and are interrupting people packing up. Yeah.

This is going to probably cross over into midnight. It's going to be the first one of these we've done that goes over two days. This is officially dum-dum after dark. This is like a little sleepover. We can really say anything on this episode now. We don't have to be constrained by all the rules and regulations we've got when we do these during the daytime. I hope I'm not the one who falls asleep first and everyone pranks me and draws little dicks

on my face. What are the boys that you find the cutest? Who's your favourite? Well, two of them are sitting with us right now. Oh, right, right. Great. First of all, joining us today, great friend of the show. You would have seen his work online.

You would have, well, if you're me, you certainly haven't seen his name creeping into any bank accounts in the last three months or so. You may have seen him at the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival of 2017. Please welcome back onto the show Nick Capper. How am I going? What's my update? Because four times now you've said to me that you were doing your tax this week

and that I was finally going to be paid back for the flight that I brought you to the Koh Samui 2017 International Podcast Festival. Look, Tommy, not all of us are made of money. What are you made of? I gave you a $150 deposit when I did your gig. If some people are made of money, what are you made of? I don't know what I'm made of. Food vouchers.

Shopper dockets? I am doing my tax this week, and I will have it. Okay. Yeah, yeah. It's fine. To be fair, doing your tax would be pretty quick for you. No, I actually have a lot of expenses, Carl. All right?

List some of them now. List all your expenses now and then take this recording into your accountant. Yeah. Can you claim beers? Sure. Okay, yeah. Yeah, a lot of expenses.

Yeah, but you're only claiming expenses against money you earned. So that's the real problem. Yeah, that is a real problem. I don't even know why I'm going to the trouble, actually. Also joining us today, it's his first time on the show. We'll get a bit deeper into how we know him when we've intro'd him, but he is one of Toowoomba's favourite sons. Big call.

Please welcome onto the podcast Nick Carr. Thanks, guys. Using episode, two guests with the same first name and basically the same surname. It's very similar. Right, and two NCs. One of you guys has to

leave now. I'll change my name, I'm willing. Something else, and two NCs. One of you guys has to leave now. All right. I'll change my name. I'm willing. Something else. I don't know. What about Nick Comedy? Nick Comedy. Yeah, do it.

Nick Comedy. Nick Comedy. Nick Comedy. That's extra syllables. I only had the one syllable, so I mean, Cap is fancy pants with two syllables. I don't have any. Welcome aboard. Thank you.

Thank you very much. Nick Comedy. You have to now give money to our Patreon fund, though. That's the only thing with a name like that. But welcome. Welcome. Thanks for being here for the first time on our show, because you are a listener. You are one of the rare breeds of comedians that listen to the show a lot and then have

been on it after that. Not many comedians listen to this. No, but it's true. Well, I don't know. Is it true? I don't know. There's a few. There's a few.

There's a few. I don't know. Is it true? I don't know. There's a few. There's a few. There's a few. I don't expect other comedians to listen to it. I get the vibe from other comedians. If they're not on it, they don't want any piece of it. You know what I mean? Sometimes. Oh, really? Yeah, I get some of that.

Oh, wow. I actually was like, no, I wasn't like that. No, I remember the first live show I went to. Of ours? Yeah, yeah. And I was like, this is a fucking circus. I want in. I was like, I didn't want, I was half, like it takes a lot to scare me.

But I think someone was getting a tattoo. I saw a guy with a tray of shots. And I was like, there was a lot of in-jokes going on. I think it was when it was quite, there's a lot of in-jokes going down, I think it was when it was quite... There's a lot of in-jokes going now, but I think back then it was in-joke city. Right, right. And I was like, I don't know, these are all inbred fucking weirdos.

I disagree with you. I think the in-jokes have gotten worse. It's just that now you know what they are. Yeah, that's true. They're not in-jokes, they're just jokes. Now I'm an inbred weirdo. I think there's a lot of in-jokes with live shows because you just want to feed the machine. Yeah.

You want to feed the engine and, you know, you know you're going to get a reaction if you say something that you have said before. Yeah. People go, aha, that's familiar. But Nick Carr, so the long history with you is you came to the Costa Mui Podcast Festival this last year. Yes. Yes, I was present.

But before that, we got a message from you where you wanted... In the middle of the night. You came to the Koh Samui Podcast Festival this last year. Yes, I was present. But before that, we got a message from you where you wanted... In the middle of the night. In the middle of the night. Yeah. It was closer to the end of the night. It was a deep night. It was about three or four, I think. So we got a message from you saying what?

That you were offering $1,000 if you could be on the podcast, if you could come to Koh Samui and be on the podcast. Yeah, I did. I did not have $1,000 if you could be on the podcast, if you could come to Koh Samui and be on the podcast. I did not have $1,000 at the time, so it was a big call. That probably answers my next question, now that you're on it. Payer. Shit, I've been trapped, you guys.

I thought this was just a friendly chat and then I need the dollars. Because as soon as we get it off you, Kappa wants to borrow it off us. And just to clear this up, we will get questions about, this isn't Rich Young. I am not the real Rich Young. Rich Young is the person who just gave us money to go to Samui to talk shit about him.

So it says a lot about us that we have multiple weirdos that want to give us at least $1,000 to be a part of this world. So Nick come message me in the middle of the night, and then I get the message, and I think this is very rare for us to be getting a $1,000 offer to be on a podcast. And we were like, oh, this is exciting, this is funny. And then I think I messaged you back the next day and went, were you at the strippers or something as a joke?

And you were like, I actually was. I definitely was. So what had happened, I think in the episode that came out, because it was on a Wednesday because that's the best night to go to strippers. That's when they put on the good ones. Yeah, that's it. That's when the A-team's out.

Oh, mate, in Toowoomba there. The home of strippers. Oh, wow. So are they playing our podcast at the strip club? So it's a bit of Bon Jovi and then a bit of... 100%. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Hey, mates, we've got the best ladies.

There were too many men with boners. Let's cool them off. We need to calm them down. Well, no, because I think in the episode that day, you'd been at someone's box party or something, and you, Tommy, you had a story about being in a strip club or having been to a strip club or something. And so what had happened, my friend, I have a friend and he'd gone through a bit of a

rough time in his personal life. Him and his long-time lady partner had separated and he's like, hey man, I know this is kind of fucked for a Wednesday, but do you want to come to the strip club with me? And I'm like, okay, cool. All right. That's the most made-up story I've ever heard. So I was just lonely and horny. So I've gone down there.

My friend's name was Nick Carcomer. Carcomer Nick. And so he went off. He was just in the lap dance room the whole time. And so I was just sitting by myself just drinking like a champion. And I got very drunk and I was thinking about the boy. I was like, hey, this is because when I. You're in a strip club surrounded by hundreds of naked ladies.

Like four naked ladies. What if I went and talked to Tommy and Carl on a vodka? I usually like to think about Tommy shirtless when I'm hot. He saw two boobs and he thought, oh, this reminds me of him. Hang on, while I'm rigid, what else gets me rigid? I was in the mood to burn money. I just... Because I wasn't even doing comedy at that stage.

I was just. Well, here's the next thing. Because when we found out, when you sent those messages through, and we were highly entertained by all of that, and then we found out a little bit down the track, oh, by the way, I think someone had been to Brisbane and gone, oh, that guy, that guy that offered you all that money. It was Dil, I think.

Yeah, maybe it was Dil. Said, oh, that guy offered you all that money. Yeah, he's doing open mic comedy. We were like, oh oh that's fucking depressing because it's like so much more fun for a random person to be on the podcast

because we were like yeah let's get him on and then we found out you actually did comedy we were like oh no that put us right off no yeah

I can imagine because I remember I sent that message and then Carl said the first message he sent me was you're a fucking idiot

and then you're like oh you know like oh you know how do you know it was really me by the way now that Carl's gotten blind

and sent us a message and then ended up being on the show the inbox is gonna fucking light up tomorrow this is gonna this is putting

some bad ideas into a lot of you just have to offer them a large amount of money guys and then never give them

give them the money we just see an increase of men at strip clubs on their phones. I don't know whether this is a good story. I might have gone down a bad territory here. But the funniest thing about this is I think I was on the episode where we talked about you. You were 100%.

Oh, right. I remember ripping on you really bad. Who is this dad? You and Claire Hooper. Yeah, it was because I remember. Claire Hooper ripping you? Wow. Who is this dad cuss? You and Claire Hooper. Yeah, it was because I remember. Claire Hooper ripping you? Wow. Yeah, she shredded me.

You must be fucked. So in the gap of when I sent that message and then I think it was like a month and a half, something before that episode because you said you'd talk about it on the podcast. In the gap until that episode came out, I was like, listen to every episode, wait for it. Selling all your stuff, trying to get $1, to get a thousand yeah i was just getting ready for it going back to the strip club every week hoping they played that episode just wanting to hear it hey fantasia i don't suppose you've played the new dum-dum this week yeah she's like oh the paul foot episode sweet that would have killed it a live show I finally get to hear it you start talking about it and of course I'd have done

like maybe one or two open mic gigs at this point and then yeah Claire's like as long as he's not a fucking open mic I was like ah shit I'm definitely that guy it was heartbreaking and then yeah when Dil spotted me because I was again only a couple of weeks in and, when Dill spotted me, because I was, again, only a couple of weeks in, and Dill was emceeing a gig that I was on.

It was actually at Pig & Whistle in Drupilli, and he's there, and he's looking at me, and he's texting, I think it must have been you or something while I was on stage. I come up and I'm like, what's up, man? That's right. He was taking pictures of you and then sending them to me. Yeah. And he goes, what's up, man?

He's like, are you the $1,000? I'm like, yeah, fuck, I'm that guy. No, I'm sorry., I'm that guy. I'm definitely that guy. You've heard of Million Dollar Baby now. He is $1,000 dumb cunt. And then, of course, he asked me in front of a bunch of other open micers because I hadn't mentioned to any fucking body because it was a little bit of shame.

He's mentioned it and everyone's like, are you fucking serious, man? $1,000? You fucking weirdo, man. Fair enough. Did he ask you because he found out your name was Nick Carl? Or is it because you're a large man with a red beard? I matched the description. Yeah, there was a description going around.

How much research did you do on me after that? Like, did you go, No. No, that was enough. Yeah, fair enough. But did you tell me, I don't know whether this is true or not, you told me your mate that you went to the strippers with,

didn't he have like a, didn't he find that his lady was had left him or something like brutally yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah he um a poor bastard yeah she uh and she was like uh they were in like a situation where they're living in close proximity to a lot of other people, and the dude that she was then shacked up with lived opposite him. And so, yeah, he could hear them frequently. Oh, no. Oh, what, they, he then, she hooked up with a guy. She ran off with a guy that lived across the street. Yeah.

So from then on. Well, not a street. It was, I don't want to give too much information. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure. Just to say, yeah, services. Yeah, yeah. And do you. Just to say, yeah, services. Yeah, yeah. And do you live across the street from this friend? No, no.

I've never taken a lady off anybody. I'll come with you to the strippers. Yeah, yeah. Next time you're at the strippers, you're like, well, Dumb Dumb wouldn't take my money. Can I join in for $1,000? I had $1,000 spent. No, I never had the money.

I never had the money. You've just got $1,000 in the had $1,000 spare. No, I never had the money. I never had the money. You've just got $1,000 in the budget this year for doing something really fucked. Yeah, I've got spare. So you've got to get rid of it. Make a dumb cunt wish. You've got to do a podcast with two strippers. Actually, because I also, since then I've become quite entangled with the strip club in Toowoomba.

I've done... What? I did comedy there one night. Quite entangled. Yeah I've done... What? I did comedy there one night. Quite entangled. Yeah, yeah, entangled. I did comedy there one night and it was... In a sperm-made web. Yeah, and it was the worst.

Yeah, it was horrible. Well, you did... Hang on, you did comedy in the strip club? Yeah. Like, as stripping was happening? The look you gave me when you said sperm-made web was just like... I've never seen this look on your face before.

It was like, check this out. Check this. It was like a kid looking at his mum before he does a jump off the highest diving board. You weren't even watching. That wouldn't have killed it alive, Joe. So you were doing comedy on a stripping night. It wasn't like they cleared out the strippers and it was like, here's a comedy club. It was their third birthday

and at 1am. Fucking hell. 1am, they had me go on stage. What better way to celebrate than with something that's not what we usually do in here? Yeah, yeah, that's it. And from someone who's not particularly good at what he does. Yeah, no, it's only very fresh and they did not turn the music down.

So you're doing what's the difference between cats and dogs? As hot for teachers blaring out of the sound system. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it, yeah. Wow. So you would spoken word, like, over music. Just giving it a crack. Trying crowd work for the first time.

It was amazing. Where do you work? Oh, sorry, you've got no top on. I guess it's here. No one wanted to talk to me. Hey, mate, what do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do?

What? Yeah. What? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, asking businessmen who are getting a lap dance, what do you do for a living? I'm not fucking telling you anything about myself. It was a lot of that.

There was a lot of every time I tried to talk to someone, they'd, like, turn away. They'd be in the front row and they'd just turn away. No offence, Because they paid to be In a strip club And then they're looking at you 100% I did have the biggest tits

On the stage No it was awful No Yeah it was bad It was so bad It was awesome Yeah yeah How long did you have to do

Well I did Like five minutes Four times So What I had to go up Like four times I had to go up And I said to him to go up now and i kept i said to him

because i went up the first time and just ate shit and then i said look we can just call this off wait to do this three more times i'll give you back the drink card and i'll just go the fuck home oh you were getting paid in a drink card yeah well yeah i didn't have an abn or anything i was like yeah i just take the money and drinks. I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. And then so the second time that I got up and I started doing all right. And I was like, oh, shit, this is okay. But then I got a little bit carried away and I tried to have a joke about Q&A. I got on my Q&A bit.

Listen, he tried to do material about the TV show Q&A. I got a real cocky. I got a question for you. What didn't shoot club at 1.30am. I got a question for you. What's wrong with you? A whole lot. It went really, yeah, I had a chance to save it and I fucked it right up. So you're just like, while I've got them in the palm of my hand, let's talk politics. I wanted to see if I could pull it off.

It was a challenge. Just wondering whether. There's a lot of people in there wanting to see if they can pull it off once you come off the stage. So you're thinking the demographic of that crowd there is people that hung at house, hung at their home, to watch Q&A until midnight

and then went, fuck it, we'll go to the strippers now. Toowoomba's known for being a very progressive lefty area. They'll pull it off. If this was a Monday night, you'd go, well, this is dumb because he's clashing with the show. It's a Wednesday night,

so they could still be big. There's no evidence to suggest that they're not big Q&A fans. 1am in Toowoomba at a stripper's on a Wednesday. I don't even know how that works because how big is Toowoomba, man? It's only a couple of hundred thousand people, isn't it? Oh, yeah, yeah. No, no, the stripper gig wasn't on a Wednesday. The comedy was on like a Saturday.

It was their third birthday. It was a big night. Oh, man, that's so funny. It's just like a husband returns home and the wife goes, are you going to go to the strippers tonight? And he's like, no, you know what? No. I saw a man last night that changed my life.

Honey, put the ABC on. You've got to go on to it. My hot takes. Well, I think we've just found the venue for our next live show. We've got to go do a Wednesday night in Toowoomba at the Strip. What is the four podcast, four five-minute podcasts in between? I can definitely hook that up. Four Patreon ads.

Yeah. Well, we get a crowd. I mean, they obviously still play our episode every week in there. What's the name of the Strip Club? The Vault. There's only one in the West, The Vault. The Vault. What a terrible name for a strip club.

It wins a lot of awards. It's a... It wins awards. It's an old bank. It's an old bank. It used to be a bank. They still have the bank vault and you can... The best strip club in Womba.

Yeah, yeah. So what do you do? Hang on. Do you do the lap dances in The Vault? No, no. They have hair, topless haircuts in The Vault, I believe. What? In The Vault? Topless haircuts in The vault, I believe. What? In the vault?

Topless haircuts in the vault? Yeah, yeah. I'll be right. I'm from the country. I've never even heard of this. Do they have topless tellers at the little windows? No, you can't get money out of them. Is that their version of a peep show?

By having the topless tellers just showing their boobs through the little hole? Oh, man. I was going to say they don't normally have tellers, but maybe they have the tellers there on poker night. Do they have all the strippers, like, chained to the desk, like the pens? Deposits only, thanks. I'm not allowed to talk about that. I'm trying to think of sweet riffs on this, but believe it or not,

I'm not in the bank very often. I'm not much experience here. Oh, well, let's cross to Nick Cappity. Oh, even worse. I don't even know what a bank is. I just get paid in rolled up handshakes after the show. That's great. So the new owners, they've come in, they've bought this bank,

they've turned it into the strip club, and they're like, well, structurally, we can't get rid of the vault. The vault has to stay there. Now, what could we possibly do with it? What's something themed that we can kind of put our strip? I know. Yeah. Oh, I just want to see Armour Guard deliver all the strippers there every week.

Hey, we don't want... Look, you know, who knows? The world's a dangerous place at the moment. Lots of stuff happening. Nuclear war might break out. For all we know, in five years' time, hair could be the new currency. Money might be obsolete. So we need to make sure, when people get these haircuts,

that the hair remains on the floor locked behind this secure door. Also, but imagine getting a haircut at 1am as well. In a place where everyone's getting drunk and horny. Like getting a haircut with an erection. Oh, man. Because you've got the fucking... That's not how you get haircuts? You've got the, what's it called?

The sheet. Smock. You've got the smock over you. It's got a hole cut in it. Yeah, yeah. What a terrible thing to have over you when you're having an erection. Yeah. What's the small talk like?

It's the one where the hairdresser is dreading the small talk more than the person getting the haircut. And also, you're getting the haircut from someone topless, you're facing the wrong way. You're not getting any of the advantages of someone being topless. I've been led to believe there's a lot of leaning. Oh, let me just... Led to believe, can I just say, Nick, your hair is...

Grab this comb. Led to believe, can I just say, Nick, your hair is perfectly manicured. Thank you, Tommy. I think I know what's going on here. I'm glad you've noticed. I love the emotional kind of metaphor of the vault as well. What goes on in the vault stays locked. Stays in the vault.

Oh, that's the only thing that works for it, I think. Can I keep secrets in here as well? Yes, you're a pervert. Very discreet. We all know. Wow. So you got the gig. You got the gig because you were hanging around the strip club enough that they said,

do you want to emcee it? No, no, no. I did. So again, not long after, my friend, shout out to Phil Courier at the Spotted Cow. He owns the place. Sorry, I'm trying to do some cross promotion. He got me, Troy Kinney did his show. I really hope the Spotted Cow is another strip club.

What a shocking name. It's a great venue. A great venue. If you're ever in Toowoomba, come here. It another strip club what a shocking name it's a great venue great venue if you've ever been to a McCann it's a good pub it's a great pub yeah

so they yeah Troy Kinney was doing a show there friend of the show Troy Kinney yeah he feels just like

oh hey because he knew I'd start a comedy he's like do you want to do support for Troy Kinney I was like yeah

I was nine gigs in and Troy's like oh can you do 20 minutes I'm like yeah definitely can yeah 100% he. I was nine gigs in and Troy's like, oh, can you do 20 minutes? I'm like, yeah, definitely can. Yeah, 100%. Look how lazy he is.

You said you were nine gigs in. Were four of them just that one night at the strip club? You're fudging the numbers here a little bit, mate. That was five-minute sets. That's mostly what I do. Yeah, that's fine. I knew you were in comedy. You're fudging the numbers and you still haven't cracked double digits yet.

I was hoping it would be my number 10, but it didn't happen. Nick starts cutting Troy Kinney's hair, going, doesn't this happen at all gigs? Yeah, this is what we do. So you do 20 before Kinney. How does that go? I did 15 and crushed. It was good.

Oh, really? Actually, that's the one piece of little work that I did on you. When you were going to come to Koh Samui after all of that, I looked at your Facebook page and you were doing a gig and that's when I found out you were an open mic comedian. And I was like, oh, this gig. And then I see Kinney's logo behind you. So I hit up Kinney and went, who's this Nick Carr guy?

Is he, because I was thinking, I think I literally said, is this guy mental or what? And he was like, no, super nice guy. He's fine. Yeah, he's like actually nice guy. I'm like, okay, this guy is on the level. Comedy, that means shit at comedy. It's the worst thing you can say.

Me and Troy got really close because I got there quite early so we had dinner and then while we were waiting, while we were setting up the show and everything, what was all going on, our green room was a storeroom that was about a metre and a half by three metres. So we were very close. We were in close quarters for about an hour.

You would have been very at home. Sounds like a little vault there. Yeah, it was good. We gave them a trim. You leaned in. Yeah, I leaned in. When the pros ask you to. The thing I love about, because we did the Dumb Dumb Live on Saturday,

in front of 550 people, like so many people, and you just broke the news then. Like, a lot of, most people didn't know you that were there or backstage or whatever. So for people at home, you would have heard the big live show that we did with Fiona Lachlan and Lawrence Mooney. What we did on the night was we did a little bit of a live stand-up show before it that we didn't, you know, record or anything.

And it was like you, Nick Kappa, Daniel Walker, Adam Knox, and then we put Nick Carr on because Nick flew himself down just to be at the show, just to hang out. And we were like, oh, let's give him a thrill. Let's put him on. And so we set up the crowd and said, I know you don't know this guy, but he's going to be on the show very soon. We find him really, really funny.

And so we put him on. And he's in front of 550 people he crushed it yeah man and that's the funniest thing is just before you walk on you're like oh man i think it's nearly my first year in comedy yeah i just love it that a land valuer from toowoomba yeah right has been not now you're on the podcast you've done a gig in 550 people supported kinney and then did a gig in Koh Samui. I've just realised that we've had this multiple

times through Comedy Carl of seeing new people and they just get elevated way too quickly and we're looking at the people making those calls going, who are these fucking idiots? There's plenty of other good people around like us. We're not being given a go. We're those fucking idiots now. There's good comics in Melbourne

who haven't been on the show yet hearing this going, who the fuck's this guy? I think I said something to that effect to you after the gig on Saturday. I was like, what are you fucking guys doing? I'm just some idiot from Toowoomba. It's ridiculous.

I mean, I appreciate it. It's been good. The thing I love is that you're standing on my couch and we went to the pub before. That's brought him down to earth pretty quick. All the jealousy of people listening is just dissipating immediately. Bumming off someone who bums off everyone else. As much semen as the vault on that couch.

My own private vault. Since I've been down here, literally everyone that's asked me, where are you staying? I'm like, oh, just crashing at Capper's. They're like me where are you staying I'm like oh just crashing at cappers they're like oh fuck I'm sorry Nick Carr leeching off Nick Capper

it's a human centipede of sandals brutal but the funniest thing is when you guys were like should we put Carr on and I'm like yeah

but fucking call him right now because he is blind oh yeah I was very I was very I was very worried about that because I was very drunk. I was not expecting to be on, so I just got very drunk.

And then as soon as I got in that green room, I smashed about four bottles of water and peed like eight times. I was like, I need to fucking sort this shit out. I love it how also you just can't take the boy out of Toowoomba. So good. He goes, man, do you want a drink? I said, yeah. Brings me back Johnny Walker premixes in the bottle.

Like a glass black rat. I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? Of course I had it. Yeah, we had a bunch of them. We had about five. Wow, the Milan of Toowoomba. Yeah, well. Well, so let's backtrack a bit.

So then you come to Koh Samui, and I don't think, I think maybe it was like halfway through the trip that I put together the fact that you were the guy who had offered us the money. I knew the whole time. I don't think I was kind of aware of all that. Not until your second haircut.

So you came to the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival and you really took a shine into the Thai culture. You really soaked it up. You really dove into it with both feet. Loved every second of it. Loved every second of it.

Was it your first time overseas? No, no, no. No, I've travelled quite extensively. Okay, okay. I've been to Thailand before. Right. So, but to press what Tommy's saying, we went to Thailand. We went to Koh Samui for four or five days, And you did not eat anything from Thailand the whole time.

There was no Thai dishes. You didn't eat any Thai dishes the entire time. Like, the first night we get there, we're having this great opening night party. We all go to dinner at this restaurant that I love called Kangaroo, no, Samui Kangaroo. Love the seafood there. We get there. We're all drinking. Everyone gets curries and stir fries

and whatever else and we look over at you and go this guy's got spaghetti yes he's been in thailand that's right yeah three or four hours this boy's got spaghetti and it's like oh wow what a sort of little novelty and then it's like then every day since then we go he's got spaghetti again so that's because that was our sort of opening night party where we were all there everyone's turned up and that's like oh oh, isn't that funny that this fucking idiot did this on the first night? Little did we know then that this would be a precursor to every single meal that you had there being spaghetti bolognese.

Yeah. More spag bol than bloody Papa John himself. Yeah. I have to come clean a little bit. That first night, I got in there several hours before you guys, and so I was, again, fucking blind and rotten drunk. And then, because I was sitting next to you, Carl, they've come and, you know, there was a lot of people there

they were trying to take the order for. So they're like, what do you want? I was like, oh, fuck. I just flipped through. Fuck it, spaghetti. I don't know. I'm drunk. I don't give a shit.

Like, whatever. I don't care. And then you've gone, are you fucking serious? Fuck it, spaghetti. You know't know, I'm drunk, I don't give a shit, like whatever, I don't care. And then you've gone, are you fucking serious? Fuck it, spaghetti. You know, like you flipped out about it. I'm like, well, now it's a – I just have to do it to annoy Carl. No. So then we were – so you kept buying, getting all this –

just spaghetti and a lot of Western meals and it was fucking annoying me. It was so ridiculous. Sweet music to my ears. We had a great – but by the way, me looking at you doesn't look like someone that's just putting it on for my sake. You were fucking buying spaghetti for your own sake. I do love spaghetti. It did go beyond a joke.

It was like this is funny and then now it's just like this guy just keeping it going is unbelievable. I'm dedicated. Going to Thailand for five days and not eating one speck of Thai food is absolutely ridiculous. In fact, we had a great night one night. I think we did a show, and then we ended up going to another one of my favourite places in Koh Samui called Your Place on the beach. It's a beautiful beach bar, and there's, like, you know, fire twirlers, and it's a little bit quiet out there and they play reggae music there. I nearly got my head blown off by a fire twirler. Yes.

That was awesome though. We're having a great time. Like half of the people that came along were all there and we're all hanging out and having this great time. And then you, you know, in this beautiful night and then you stick your hand up and go, I'll order the hot dog pizza, please. You fucking idiot.

It was almost like you hadn't seen a menu and you just took a punt at them having a hot dog pizza. Well, no, because I read that it sounded like the most... I wanted to try it because it sounded like the most fucked thing I've ever heard. It was hot dogs, pineapples, prawns, tomato sauce and bacon. I don't know. It just seemed like a really strange mix.

I was like, well, fuck it. Went in time. I ate a bit of it and then immediately went what am i doing is if this isn't going to make me violently ill like because that place too like you walk past the kitchen and oh boy i know i love now i love that bar yeah but and i used to the first time i ever went there i ate there a couple of times yeah because you you enter via the beach and you just walk along the beach and go there and go, man, this is the best place. Like, it actually, you know what, it actually cemented my love of Koh Samui.

First time I ever went there, I went there with my girlfriend and she, like, flaked it straight away because we'd had a big day of travel. It was like about 10 o'clock, 10.30 when we got in and I walked out of the resort. That was the first place on the beach and there was a lot of people there. They were playing music and I went, I'll sit there. I ordered a couple of beers and a meal. And I sat there with my feet in the water.

And I was like, this is one of the best feelings I've ever had. This is fucking amazing. This is better than the vault. Yes. But then, you know, I ate and it was a great meal and everything. But then, like, a couple of days later, I entered the place via the main street. Yeah. And you go via the main street, walk down. And there's like 15 cats in cages on the way down.

You go, well, I wonder if they put real hot dog in those pizzas or not. I had a bit of that pizza as well. And I've never been kind of disappointed. I eat anything. But I was like, oh, my God. What is this contraption? Just the worst kind of, imagine the worst kind of McCain style

shit frozen pizza. And then I remember the hot dog bits being like that, the lowest grade like luncheon meat, the stuff you buy in the supermarket that's like again frozen that can just keep for it, that rubbery, oh my god. The most damning part about that pizza was

after we all had, like, a bite each out of it, we were like, no, this is fucked. I did not do that, by the way. We just dumped it on the ground and one of the starving, sick dogs in Thailand, like, really emaciated, he comes over, takes one sniff and he's like, nah, fuck that. He wouldn't even take it. He's like, nah, not that shit.

I was drunk and really hungry, so, like, just kind of powered through two slices. You had two slices? Oh, you had two slices? I had a fair bit. I didn't even get through one slice, Tommy. I had a fair bit because I was just like, oh, whatever. It's just focus on the cheese.

Just block everything else out. And then got two slices in and went, this is, of anything you're going to eat here, this is the thing that's going to give you food poisoning. And I've had it over there before and it's like, what are you fucking doing? And then I come to my senses and then, yeah, a minute later a fucking stray turning up its nose at it. What a wake-up call.

What a wake-up call for your behaviour. Did you purge later on? I didn't purge, no. Risky. But have you ever had that thing where you eat something that seems a bit off? Like when I was in Vietnam not long after that, I slept in. I got to the airport to fly to Ho Chi Minh with like not –

I hadn't eaten. I was starving, really hungover. I go to the Burger King. I get like a breakfast sausage muffin thing and I'm just like – my flight's boarding so I'm just like stuffing it into my face as I'm walking onto the plane and I'm'm like halfway through, and I look down, and it's like I taste it, and it's like really cold, and I look down, and it's just uncooked.

Like in the middle, it's just uncooked. And I've taken a good few bites, and it's like I just go, oh, fuck, and then I put it in the bin, and then I'm sitting on the plane, and it's like you feel like the countdown clock has just started. Like just on this flight, and every slight thing about your body that feels a little wrong, it's like, here it is. This is it. This is the moment.

This is me just evacuating on the plane. You know Dyson in Terminator 2 where he's holding the bomb? And he's like, I can't take this anymore. And he just robs the thing and the building explodes. Yeah, yeah. Oh, man, just the worst feeling. The coolest thing about hanging out with you, Car, at the Koh Samui was you're a big guy, you've got red hair, you've got pretty white skin.

Super white skin. And just seeing you having a great time, loving it, but also just having the worst time because you're just red and sweaty the whole time. I am not built to handle humidity. It's struggle street every time I go to the toilet. And that's the one thing for a second with this year

when the Coast of Millie this year was announced I was like, I don't know. For people at home, we've just announced the 2018 Coast of Millie International Podcast Festival. So now we've got an eye on doing it all again. And this is, I mean, you know, all these great tales we're telling of eating hot dog pizzas

should get people packed in over there. Don't bother with hot dog pizzas. Straight to the spaghetti. It's flawless. Yeah, yeah. It's good spaghetti over there. Spaghetti at your place, though? You know?

No, I'm not going to eat there. That place is strictly cocktail. What was the best spaghetti you had on the trip? Let's cut the bullshit. It's the kind of thing they do on Q&A. Your mate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Spaghetti of Thailand.

I've been on Q&A. No, I, in the one at, what was the place? The Jungle Club up the top? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the best. Yeah. Look, a large part of that might have had to do. Did you have spaghetti up there? Yeah, it was beautiful. The view was insane. The the top. Oh, yeah, yeah. That was the best. Yeah. Look, a large part of that might have had to do... Did you have spaghetti up there?

Yeah, it was beautiful. The view was insane. You fucking idiot. Jungle Club. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I needed some harsh refueling, because what it had was on the last day... It was the most beautiful view. And by the way, let's say, for your little alibi about you were doing it to piss me off,

I was not at the Jungle Club with you. At that point, it had become such a thing that if I would have not ordered spaghetti there would have been a revolt. I was pissing everyone else. Carl, I can vouch for this because by coincidence a week later I flew to Toowoomba because my mum was in hospital

and I thought I'd surprise her. I flew there and I thought I'll catch up with Carl. I brought my dad as well to dinner. I brought my dad in and I said, yeah, where should we go? And dad's like, oh, you know, he said, let's go for some Indian. And I said, hey, Car, are you cool to eat Indian? He's like, yeah, whatever, man.

And then I get there and I was like, hey, man, do you want to eat here? And he goes, yeah, I was just doing it to piss Carl off. And then, you know, my eyes just went really small, like the pupils just like. Like, oh, no. What a payoff. Smash them. That was good curry, that place.

It's just too far away from my house. Well, you know, come back to Koh Samui next year and, you know, find another way of pissing me off, like staying in your room for five days straight or something. Really fuck your holiday to slightly annoy me. Drink water for the whole trip. Yeah. I have no regrets.

That spaghetti was delightful. It was really good. I did not have one bad spaghetti the entire time I was there. I reckon this year... You tasted it on the beach. It was good. You enjoyed it. You and Dil both said, no, it's spaghetti.

Don't spread it around. Don't do it. We've got to have, next year in honour of the great man, we've got to have a spaghetti night. We've got to have a big meal where we all just have spag bol. I love it. That's great. Pack out a restaurant and just 20 of us, all spag bol.

I'll cook it. I'll cook it. I'll do it. I'll cook it. You'll cook it. You'll get into a Thai restaurant and cook spaghetti. My original, yeah, do it. I'll do it. I'll cook it. I'll do it. I'll cook it. You'll cook it. You'll get into a Thai restaurant and cook spaghetti. My original, yeah, do it. I'll do it.

I'll cook it. I'll master it. I was my original. I reckon there'd be restaurants that'll let you do it. Because that's the thing over there. Cup and cow, where's the oregano? Let me into it. We went over there and there were certain places we went into.

And I feel like they would have let us do anything. Because we had 65, 70, 80 people dragging along and they're like we'll do whatever you guys want

as long as there's 80 people in here drinking and doing whatever. So I think if we walked in with 80 people or 120 people and said

this guy's got to be the chef for the night they'll be like alright, no worries. Sweet, there we are. You can do anything

you want in Thailand if you've got enough money. Let's just go back to another strip club story. Do you guys have a vault here in Thailand? What's Thai for vault? I need to get a haircut. The last time I was in Thailand... What's Thai for lean in?

Last time I was in Thailand, I had a habit of getting really drunk and then I would go and pay bands money just to take over the drums. I love that. It was good. I love that. I'm not even very good at drums and it made the band, the rest of the band was so mad, but it was money. Money is money.

I'm going to do that because I really want to play the drums. I'm like okay for someone who doesn't really know what they're doing. Yeah. But I've never been able to get a kit because I live in share houses in the inner city. You just can't. There's no room. They're too loud. Fuck, I'm going to do like,

it's going to be my rock and roll fantasy camp. Do it. I'm just going to go out each night and get on the kit. Fuck yeah. Because the pub that we kept going back to, so Coastal Movie Podcast Festival this year, we did two live shows at the beautiful Ozo Chewing Resort. So good.

And then, which we're heading back to in 2018 with a special deal, with a special password, podcast18, for listeners at Dunlop Club. So we did two shows there and then we did two shows at that pub. Off campus, yeah. It was just up the road. Yeah, which was literally me walking into a pub and going, if I bring a shitload of Australians that are going to be drinking a lot, can we do a show here?

And they're like, absolutely. So what was it called? The Black? The Duke. The Duke. The Duke. So we went into – Which is very funny.

We spend most of our time in Samui in this British-themed pub. Oh, but I'm the one that's uncultured. Hey, it was the one place that I went past where you could see that there were actually people performing and stuff like that because that's why I'm the one that's uncultured yeah hey it was the one place that I went past where you could see that there were actually people performing and stuff like that

because that's why I'm saying this they have a house band every night yes but because I came past and went

I've got a heap of Australians they're like and they literally ring the band and go yeah take the fucking night off

yeah they just sack the band for the night could we I was going to say could we do we have any

like we need like do we have like four other people or something that are other comics or comedies or whatever that are half passable at an instrument? No, I'd rather just one person ruining the band. We just play them and we just have them as our house band. Yes.

We do a podcast and we just have them. They just play the roots on Jimmy Fallon. Oh, yeah. They do walkout music for all our guests. Oh, fuck, that would be amazing. I was going to say we'd just get them to play live karaoke for us. Oh, that's not bad. That's good, too.

Because it's their same house band and they play, they're like a Thai Rolling Stones cover band. Yes. Which is beautiful. They were great. Yeah, because, you know, anyone singing stuff in their second language is very entertaining. Always good.

You know, anyone singing stuff in their second language is very entertaining. Always good. I find that, like, kind of disturbing that, like, the guy rings the band. He's like, take the fucking night off. Six white guys are overtaking this place. They're bringing more people in. Then the guy just hangs up the phone. He goes, no one eats tonight.

I've told this. I'm sure I've told this. told this looking at his big framed photo of Mick Jagger that's in his room I've let you down I really did paint it black I'm sure I've said this before but they

the guy was like chasing me down the street after we finished and everything he was like when are you going to do another show in here my boss is asking

my boss rang from from Bangkok asking when when do you do another show in here oh man they would have made some money out of that. Oh, totally. There was some big drinks going around.

Totally. Remember, it was the night of the comedy show. Well, we did a stand-up. Well, mate, they were all nights of comedy shows. Oh, true. Thanks. So we did a stand-up show in there one night, and we, yeah, after hanging around with you for a couple of days, we were like, hey, this guy does comedy.

Let's get him in. And, you know, it was a really tight bond between everyone that came along because everyone had to hang out with each other at the resort and had breakfast and jump in the pool together and then did shows and drank together and whatever. So everyone got to know each other, including you. Spaghetti Bill. Yeah.

Everyone became very – it wasn't just us. It was like you became famous with all the listeners just for your – Culinary taste. Your pasta-based exploits. Yeah, for your little Papa Giuseppe cover band. So, yeah, we whacked you on the stand-up show and you did very well. Oh, thank you. Again, it was another one where you hadn't mentioned it to me

and so I was holding out hope. That's why I was wearing jeans. I'm a professional. Everyone else was wearing… I was like, oh, Carl Chand's why I was wearing jeans. I'm a professional. Everyone else was wearing shorts. I was like, oh, Carl Chandler, I better wear jeans just in case. Everyone else was wearing shorts. Dilraba wasn't even wearing a shirt. And I thought, oh.

Which was funny. Yeah, I've just lost a few sales for the Coastal Media. Numbers drop back. Can I return my technique? We're painting a picture of the worst week imaginable. Everybody may ruin a band. Yeah, return my ticket? No. We're painting a picture of the worst week imaginable. Ruin a band. My whole family's going starving. Drinking a British pub.

Great. That's it. But again, I just got super drunk because I was like, if I'm not going up, I'll just get into it. And then you're like, I'm about eight pints in or something. You're like, hey, do you want to get up? I love all these stories that you say where you're like, oh, I wasn't supposed to be performing, so instead I just drank a whole brewery. And it's like all of these stories happen at about 6 o'clock at night as well

where you're just extremely drunk at the wrong time. Yeah. The thing I like now is that there's context to the spaghetti thing. Yeah. When you guys did a live show in Brisbane, Car sent the spaghetti to the live show because he couldn't be there and then no one knew what the fuck was happening. So we got spaghetti delivered to us on stage by Harley Breen, which there were like, what,

five people or so in the crowd? So they just start pissing themselves. Yeah, if you listen back, that's what that meant. The Brisbane episode, the last Brisbane episode we did, we got spaghetti on stage. It was a call forward. It wasn't a call back. So now there's in-jokes and then there's like sub-in-jokes that only some of the people that listen to this are going to get.

Now that is a good ad for Koh Samui 2018. You can then go to that and then come along and wreck a future live show with a dumb call back. Yeah, then you'll find a tub of Latina funny as well yeah yeah I think it kicked it up a notch

it's content I just wanted to show you some good old Brisbane hospitality you know yeah that you weren't even at you were at another gig and you got it sent over to us

it was very stressful getting that sorted it was very stressful because I had one of the Costa Mui you had to taste all the local spaghettis to get the right one. Just to annoy me, of course.

Yeah, just to annoy you, yeah. No, no, I had to get one of the other girls from Koh Samui to organise it. And she's like, about halfway through the show, she's like, they haven't brought it out yet. And I was in like St. George. I was like, well, fuck, I can't do anything about it. Oh, mate, we've all got stuff on. St. George.

See, it was very stressful. But then she's like, no, it's fine, it's good. And they wouldn't tell me how it went. So I was like, for a long time, I didn't know how it turned out. When you say St George, do you just mean another strip club that used to be a bank? No, no, an actual current St George, and he was just like, I'm waiting. Eventually, this has got to be a strip club. If they just turn into a strip club

around me while I'm here, then I don't have to pay the coverage charge. Short back and sides and a double D, thanks. Have you guys seen that movie Inside Man? I just walled myself off at the back waiting for a merge. Well, you must have enjoyed it because you've told me tonight, you've already bought your ticket to the 2018 Coastal Millie Podcast Festival.

Got to jump on that quick, Carl. Yeah. It's going to sell out. Yeah. It's going to be big. It's going to be big. It's going to be super big. Well, so, yeah, you came down for the live show that we just did with Lawrence and Fiona.

You've been – now, what's it like staying at Shea Capper? Talk us through it. It's good. I don't know why everyone was so scared. It's actually fine it's really nice he's been a delightful host the whole way through he's been very really good yeah yeah i was a bit concerned though because i mean look yeah i i i i am a bit of a moocher but sometimes i do have a moral compass right and nick nick is the nicest guy ever. He's the nicest guy. But so we go and have lunch as soon as he arrives,

and he buys the burger and the drink. Fettuccine or? Burgers. Spicy chicken with chips. That was good. Wow. I took him to a great burger place. Were you in China or something?

Yeah. To warrant such a feast. Yeah, it was crazy. Great flight. but yeah and then he bought he said mate i'm staying on your couch i'll buy this and then we go there for the drinks before the show he's like mate i'll get this and he just keeps bringing me drinks and i'm like man look i'll get the next round he's like no no no i'm staying at your place. I said, man, the amount of drinks you could have bought me, you had three nights at the Sheraton. He's staying at my couch. But see, if I hadn't have done that, I would have had someone to stay,

but then I wouldn't have had all those drinks. So, I mean, it works out the same. That's true. We just get more drinks. Took two days off, so you would even out. I wouldn't feel so guilty. Oh, is that why you're drinking um so you guys uh so you you kicked on long after the podcast had finished on saturday

you were just telling me before yeah yeah so i said everybody let's go to francesca's this nightclub right yeah and i had a crew of people with me i was i was part of it i i had a crew slowly everybody dissipated and I did not notice this. Yeah, and I watched you walk into Francesca's by yourself. Yeah, and I was by myself. Yeah. I started out with this crew that were like, yeah, I think I should. But it wasn't a crew.

It was just people that were leaving the podcast and just walking up the street, and you're like. To their cars. Yeah. I'm leading the fucking pack. It's like, no, no, no. We're going home. We're streaking through the quad.

No one told me this. Okay. So I'm dancing in Francesca's by myself. Okay. And I'm like, where is everybody? And this is like what? 3 a.m.? Oh, yeah.

Something like that. And how many other people around? I was dancing with some randos. I made friends with all these random people. But is it busy in there at this time? Yeah, it was very busy. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So there was dancing. You sure it wasn't just a nab or something? Yeah. Well, anyway, Nick goes, oh, mate, I'm bloody, we're at this other fan house, fans place. We don't call them fans. We call them listeners. Listeners, listeners. And he said, we're all out here. We're't call them fans. We call them listeners. Listeners.

And he said, we're all here. We're going to get some pizza. We're going to get some drinks. Come back. Right? And then I got back and I pretty much blacked out by that time. Right? Apparently I walked through the door. And so I woke up in this place where I didn't know where I was. And then

I had a dream that I watched Con Air. And then I said to one of the people that stayed there, you know, I said, hey, did we watch Con Air last night? And it's like, yeah, you busted through the door and we got the pieces and apparently you yelled out, let's put on Con Air. Was this right, Car? Yeah, it was. You busted like a rock star.

You're like, I'm Nick Capper. I demand that you put on Con Air immediately. And then I had like a couple of... Is that on your rider? He did a gig. He did a set. We requested 69er while we were rewinding the Con Air VCR. Hey, you're saying that like a joke.

You fucking did a gig in a strip club with a music job. That's a good gig in comparison. It is. It was. I think we both, I just passed out straight after that as well. It was messy. It was a messy night. But Cara and I were like,

okay, what's going to fix this pallet in the morning? We met up with a friend and they said, let's go to this Moroccan deli. And we thought, oh, sweet. Let's go to fix this palate in the morning? We met up with a friend and they said, let's go to this Moroccan deli. And we thought, oh, sweet. Let's go to have something hot and some meats and stuff. It was just all vegetarian salads. And we're feeling like horrible.

Like disgusting. Real bad. Anyway, it fixed the spot. It was good. It was good. Moral of the story was Moroccan deli is good hangover food. Yeah, yeah. Great.

Oh, what? Oh, what? Oh, what? Man, that's my own heart. We've just been delivered. We're in the basement of the European Beer Cafe, and all this talk of bad pizza. A pizza has appeared right in front of us. We've been given a free pizza. It does look good. It does look very good. Now, it given a free pizza. It does look good.

Now, it's not hot dog. It is salami. Yeah, it looks to be this guy's been here. He's just heard all this talk of hot dog pizza, and he's gone, what's the next best thing I can do? I think a dog would definitely eat this one. I was going to say, do we have a straight dog to do the sniff test for us? Let's give it the ultimate test.

What a compliment. I think a dog would eat this pizza. Wow. Very gracious. No need to leave a tip tonight after an endorsement like that. You know what we've got to do next, Samui? We've got to get a little dog collar made and find – let's get an official stray dog of the Little Dumb Dumb Club podcast.

Have a little collar on him that just has information of the podcast and he can just run around and spread the good word around the island. No Dumb Club podcast. Have a little collar on him that just has information of the podcast and he can just run around and spread the good word around the island. No, I feel bad. I love dogs and I love the stray dogs around Samui. I saw a doco on them not that long ago and I've never done this.

I actually hit him up and started donating to the lost dog home. Because I got... My girlfriend loves dogs. I love dogs. And it's like... I reckon that's the worst thing about Samui. You're constantly surrounded by dogs, but you're like,

ah, better not pat any of these, because who the fuck knows what's going on. It's the worst, just having to kill that instinct that just everything in your head says, give him a little cuddle, look at him, look at him down there. I found in Chile you have two or three dogs a day, and then they kind of become your mates and they're your crew and they scare off the other dogs.

Yeah. And then you go into Francesca's and they all leave. One of the best things about Carr, another Carr story, was I did a gig with him in Brisbane. I said, hey, mate. You keep saying Carr. I just feel like people at home are thinking Carl. But it's Nick Car.

Nick Car. Nick Carmody. Yeah, they're thinking you're telling a story about Herbie the love bug. Yeah. Yeah, well, you know, comedy. But I said to Carl, okay, mate, well, I'm doing a gig in Brisbane. How about I stay with you in Toowoomba?

Well, after I said that, he then goes back to saying the best thing about car. The very thing I said, don't say that. Well, what if we call you Kyle then for the rest of it and i'll go very good kyle hoofda was yeah the best thing was i said because because nick does gigs he lives in toowoomba which is about an hour and a half from brisbane and he travels back and forth every night right every night so i say to him hey mate i'll i'll keep you company on one of these drives i'll stay at your place tonight okay so he says yeah we'll

stop at this server i'll always stop at okay stop this server about 45 minutes in nick goes in to get a coffee he goes hey helen how you going right so he knows the lady who works in the servo. Great. And then he goes, isn't so-and-so usually working tonight? Oh. So he knew the roster. I know the schedule, yeah. That was amazing. Great. I make friends everywhere.

Great. They look after me. Yeah. How do they look after you in a servo? Do you get some sort of discount on? I don't want to talk about it, Carl. Did you? Oh, you don't want to talk about that, but you Did you? Oh, you don't want to talk about that,

but you're happy to talk about the strip club. Yeah. Fucking hell, this must be a dodgy servo. That's a good slice of pizza. Is it a good pizza in here? Yeah.

Nice thin crust. Yep. Good spread of cheese. Yep. What do you reckon, Carl? That's delightful. That's really good, yeah. I reckon next year,

Mexican, man. You're only allowed... Nachos non-stop. Yeah. Maybe we could have I reckon next year, Mexican, man. Nachos non-stop. Maybe we could have like a wheel of food and then every day I spin it and that's all I can eat all day. Well, this is great. We've already come up with some great theme ideas for next year. I love the idea of having the Nick Carr Memorial Luncheon where we all go somewhere and get spagged.

I'm not doing it. Memorial? Do I die sometimes? I've seen the way you eat. You'll be dead soon. I like a man who could potentially destroy Thailand. Plays drums in all their bands, eats spaghetti at every restaurant, asks them for nude haircuts.

Why do Australians have a bad reputation as tourists? Who knows? I should just live there. Well, you know what? I did have spaghetti when I was there. Oh. In a tiny way. Because when we went to the famous Ninja Crepes, Mama Ninja's Ninja Crepes.

Oh, yeah. She did have, like we did a big buffet. We organised a big buffet for us all to go up to. And she did, because she's got this amazing, I've talked about Ninja Crepes before. It's my favourite restaurant on the island because Mama Ninja, who runs it, is so awesome. So, you know, you guys know. Yeah, she's lovely.

Lovely lady. Rolled out the red carpet for us. Very, very lovely lady. Was like crying with emotion that we all turned up. Made a sign for us, like sitting on the best part of the beach at sunset. Oh, man. It was so good. With the buffet.

She was letting me pour my own scotch. Again, that's not a good review. Mama Ninja now bankrupt. But one of her dishes that I, she's got this incredible memory, because I've been there a bunch of times, but like a million people have been to that place, but she remembers that I quite like to go there and get green curry spaghetti, because the first time I ever went there, I was like, I've never fucking heard of this.

Of having green curry with spaghetti. And I had a... It's good. It's good. It was good. So I did have spaghetti there. I'm a sucker for anything. And this is why I always...

The second night, I was like, I think this guy... I think there might be something special with this guy. The hot dog pizza. Anything that's like just a wrong thing on a menu. Yeah. Like a spaghetti pizza. Yeah. Any fucked up crossover thing.

Yeah. I'm so into it. There's a place near me that does a spaghetti bolognese pie. Yeah, yeah. It is fucking bellissimo. Oh, really? It really is. It's so good.

Oh, man, I've got to do that. It's the spot? Yeah, it hits the spot. I mean, I'm into it. Anything where you just go, why is that in there? Maybe, maybe. It doesn't matter what else. It can be whatever else is recommended to me on the menu.

I've always got to go with the weird experimental shit. Maybe ship a dozen of those over for the next episode. I was going to say, why is this the first I'm hearing about it? I've only been here three days. I'd actually forgotten about it until I just mentioned it. That would have been good. Yeah, maybe. Mum and Ninja would let me cook spaghetti there, I reckon.

Possibly. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I think so. What would have been good. Yeah, maybe we can make... Mama Ninja would let me cook spaghetti there, I reckon. Possibly. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I think so. What would you rather do if you had to pick between cooking a meal or playing the drums for 30 minutes? Can't I do both? You can only do one. No.

Oh, shit, I don't know. Drums is fun. Drums is fun. I don't think he's going to have to choose between them. I think, you know, there's not one or the other. I can do both. That's not what Thailand's about, is it? No. It's not about making... It's not about having to choose between them. I think, you know, there's not one or the other. That's not what Thailand's about, is it? It's not about having to choose.

No. Having it all. Do everything. Drink the slab and go go-karting. Yeah, totally. I remember being absolutely off my chops and then they go, okay, it's a last night, let's go go-karting. That's right.

This is at Koh Samui. Yeah, this is at Koh Samui. No, this is in Melbourne last night let's go go-karting that's right this is at this is at Koh Samui yeah this is at Koh Samui and no this is in Melbourne last night yeah I honestly I honestly think I should be

pointing this out Con Air Con Air got him all revved up he's like fucking go-kart no one's at Francesca's

I'm gonna go go-karting the whole every lap he was just as you go past you hear him I don't wanna

close my I wanna do con-kart Every lap as you go past you hear him say I don't want to close my eyes I want to do con cart I remember being so drunk at the start Going I cannot operate this machine I am going to die And then three laps later Doing a slide around a hairpin turn

While passing somebody and giving them the bird Now that is the ultimate non-ad for the Coastal Movie Podcast a hairpin turn while passing somebody and giving them the bird. Now that is the ultimate non-ad for the Coastal Movie Podcast. Didn't you get your, you hurt yourself in some way. Yeah, well,

first of all, it needs to be mentioned that Kappa lost that. Was it a $100 note or something on the track? And we had to walk the whole way around the track to find it.

I'm so sorry for your lost Tommy. Yeah, that was the tax. We did get it. As we were finishing, so we all survived drunk and go-karting because we were all blind. We were all rotten. And Brett was a maniac on that track.

We don't endorse any of this behaviour. Me and Tommy, we weren't at this thing. They asked us all, they're like, you drunk? We're like, no, no, we're fine. Yeah, we were in Thailand doing go-karting at midnight. We're fine. We're heat school no we weren't doing

anything as fucked as that we were in an Australian themed bar yeah but I love it the Bondi Bar and Grill the Bondi Bar and Grill oh that's right

which one of the few places I didn't pick someone else picked it and I'm sitting there going this is fucked it's so bad so bad and you're in one of those places

which means you're then paying basically Australian prices as well. Yeah. What are we here for? Let's go to some shithole where beers are 50 cents. And there's so much character. And there's so much character. And they're so happy to have you there. Yeah, totally.

Yeah, there's a lot of it, yeah. So you're go-karting. We finished up. And we're all like, how the fuck we've survived that? That's ridiculous. And then I go to get my wallet and some of the girls' purses out of the locker and as I'm removing my arm from the locker... He'd stolen some purses.

People just leave them lying around. Just so casual about it. So I'm ripping off these idiots. Spaghetti's not cheap. And as I'm removing my arm from the locker, it gets my... got caught on something. I thought, oh, it's just my sleeve. And I'm trying to, and then I look over

and I see that a wire, a bit of wire from the hinge of the locker door has stuck into my arm, gone in about three or four centimetres and then is poking up. And I could not get it untwisted. So I've called out, I'm trying to be cool though. Like, I'm trying to not be like, ah, freak out. I was like, oh, hey everyone.

I've just got my I just need a hand and everyone sort of just ignored me except for one of the girls who was there and she was fully

white girl wasted like she was the drunkest fully white girl wasted you've never heard the term white girl wasted no oh shit

oh Carl you are old you're old shit mate it's uh yeah she's very drunk back in my day we weren't racist that's all

ah come on mate come down hang on and she's very drunk. Back in my day, we weren't racist, that's all. Come on, mate, come down. And she's come over and then she's gone to look in and see what's going on and she's just grabbed the door and gone, what's wrong, and just reefed it right back. And then it was one of those things where there was so many cooks. Everybody had their idea of how to get my arm out. Blakey was all over it. He's gone off and found pliers from fuck knows where.

I don't know. He's trying to cut it with these and it's just not working. So this bit of wire is stuck into your arm. Yeah, yeah, it's in my arm. You know this is karma. You realise that? Because that is a bit of wire spaghetti stuck into your arm. Yes.

It was. Yeah, exactly. Taken down by the very thing he loved so much. I got to know Car throughout the whole trip. Nick Carr. Nick Carr. You've got to subtitle this fucking podcast. Lucky I didn't get to know Carl.

Spent a week with him in Coastal Movie. Yeah, we still have awkward conversations. Yeah, but I got to know Nick and got to know just his general character and his vibe. So when I saw a wire stuck in his arm at a go-kart centre, I could not stop laughing. Well, and you didn't actually manage to get him free, which was why we're actually recording this episode at the Kokusamui go-kart. I mean, to be fair, I stuck myself there as well. I've got footage. I put the footage in the group of the video.

We had a little Facebook private group with everyone that came to the... Yeah, yeah. Yeah. In other words, people with total disrespect for Kosamui. No. No, everyone had respect. Everyone was good. But no, it was good. Everyone had good. But no, it was good.

Everyone had it. But yeah, it was the funniest thing. You know what? That was the thing people were worried about, that it was going to be, someone was going to get injured or hurt or whatever it is. And apart from what you did,

it didn't actually happen. Like everyone, we all had a good time. We all went out. We all drank. We all whatever. But no one went actually crazy or anything. And there was no actual incidents or anything like that. there was one lady who broke her ankle on the second day like she was just in the hotel like in sorry at the resort just like she was walking down the

stairs or something i think yeah something happened yeah yeah so what she wasn't even doing anything crazy no no she was just like walking back from the i think she was walking back from the beach or something and sleep she's really nice lady but then we didn't i didn't see because i shared a cab with her from the airport to the resort that night on the first night. And I didn't see her again for the entire trip. She was just out. I saw her going to the hospital. She's like, if this guy's on the tour.

Have I put you in a weird position now by saying that on the podcast insurance-wise? She messaged us on the page and went, hey, boys, I'm not going to say this publicly, but I've had to go home because I've injured myself. I'm really sorry. Yeah, and you're replying from our page, to her going oh wow so sorry oh my god like I hope you're okay I hope you're okay uh you know when are you going and she goes oh my flight out goes tonight and then you write back you can't stick around for the stand-up show always be hustling what are you doing this? We're fine for numbers. We know people are going to turn up.

They've got nothing else on. I felt bad because I think she'd only seen one show and she immediately flew herself home. There was no injury. That first show was so bad. She was like, fuck this. This is a mistake. I think I might have ruined it on the cab ride over.

Is there anything we can do for you? Yeah, well, how about you read up my name on the pay... Are you a subscriber? Pay up. All right, I reckon we've got to wrap this up for another episode of

The Little Dumb Dumb Club. Nick Capp and Nick Carr, thank you so much for joining us. Is it okay if we say a little thing? Nick Carr and I are doing a show

in Toowoomba on the 23rd of December. We're doing a Christmas comedy extravaganza. It's going to be great. And it's just me and Nick Carr, no Christmas theme. Yeah. At the vault. We'll get some photos of the vault. Yeah, yeah.

We'll go afterwards. We'll do a tour. After party. After party at the vault. Yeah, 100%. Wow. Yeah. Fancy come.

So, yeah. The vault. Let's do it. We'll get some photos. Do we have a little... Here's the thing. Didn't we get a request a couple of years ago from someone in Toowoomba? Oh, to do like a...

To go up there and do someone's Bucks party or something? Yeah, that's right. If you're those guys, hit us up again. Or at least go to these guys' show. But I wonder if those guys still listen because they really wanted... We looked into it. We were going to go up there. Live show in Toowoomba

let's do it well I think I think he wanted to bring you know this Bucks party to a live podcast in Toowoomba yeah yeah

it was something like that yeah something absolutely ridiculous oh yeah hit us up he was like he was a listener but none of his mates would have been listeners

so it would have been like I wish we'd done it it would have been it would have been terrible it would have been something it would have been a story but it would have been terrible follow Nick Carr on Twitter at Nick Carr Comedy I followed you just before this gig It would have been something. It would have been something. It would have been a story, but it would have been terrible.

Follow Nick Carr on Twitter, at Nick Carr Comedy. I followed you just before this gig, and I bumped you up to 10 followers. Yeah, thanks for that. I've had one tweet, and it went very poorly. It went very poor. Not a Twitter. More followers than spots you did before you did the TV. All right, guys.

Thanks very much for listening, and we'll see you next time. See you, guys. Thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mates. Wonderful, wonderful stuff. What a century on debut. That's what I say. It's always fun to have a new person on the show. Let us know if you like that. Sometimes people just want to see their old friends again, but sometimes people like seeing a bit of fresh meat on the show.

Yeah, and as you will have heard, we got a bit of history with Nick Carr, so it's great to introduce someone into the show when they already have a bit of backstory with us. Oh, look, I might be wrong, but when putting him on, I was like, you know what, when we do live shows and when we really need some solid acts, it's good to have the core friends of the show that we always pull out at live

shows because we know they're going to deliver. I've just got a little sneaky feeling that we're going to see a bit more of Nick Carr. I find him very funny. Okay. Cool. You don't agree? Okay, moving on. I'm not saying I don't agree. I think he's good. Great. I think he's a good guy. Great.

I don't know why you're saying sneaky feeling when you've said to me, hey, let's have him on the show more. Okay, all right. I don't think I've ever said that, let's have him on more. We've only just had him on once. Yeah. All right.

Tommy hates him. That's fair. Yeah, I hate him. Fuck, I can't believe Tommy hates him so much. I hated him. Just listen to that last hour. Listen back and just hear me just through gritted teeth, everything I say, just seething.

There's a lot of subtext there was a lot of sarcasm going on that you can't pick up audio i refuse to look at him yeah so i'm there with like a little cardboard kind of box around my head so that i don't ever have to have him in my peripheral vision even if you hear tommy laughing at something that nick said just so you know he held up a big banner that said, You can't at Nick. And I wasn't laughing when we did it. I dubbed that in later to make it not sound so egregious. He actually photoshopped my laughter to sound more like his laughter. Yes, yes.

I ran it through a few filters. Yeah, no, let us know what you thought. It's always fun having new people on and seeing what people make of them. Let us know if you liked it. Don't bother to let us know if you didn't. No, I hate that. I fucking hate that. So don't do that.

No need. Just no need whatsoever. Yeah, I've copped a few lately and I've got no interest. Yeah. You know, if you think we can do better and improve, not interested. We're happy to keep it at this level. Okay, so speaking of things that people don't like,

we need to do the Patreon read for this week. This is a way that you can support the show. If you enjoy getting it for free every week and you feel like chipping in a little money to help us keep it going. You get some sweet rewards including a bonus magazine each month, a bonus episode each month, and this little bit at the back end of the show where we

read out your name and hold it up to, you know, we don't it's not like we aim to ridicule it. You know, we come in here thinking that we'll be respectful and polite, but I mean some of these names that come out, You know, we come in here thinking that we'll be respectful and polite, but, I mean, some of these names that come out, you know, they just get our juices flowing and we... Some of your names are just asking for it, all right?

You come in wearing a short dress and... Your name, walking around like uncovered meat, just draws us to it. All right, all right. OK, let's just start naming names without even thinking about how many we're going to do. Let's just go and then when we feel tapped out, we'll just stop. Yeah. Okay. When we're tired.

Yeah. Yeah. When one of us falls asleep, we'll just stop. We're recording this at 2 a.m. So it might not take that long, but we'll see. So thank you to Patreon subscriber. Thank you very much, Melanie Shanley. Melanie Shanley. Melanie Shanley.

I thought you were going to say chandelier then. No. Do you ever wish your name was chandelier? No. Because it's close. I know. You know what? Another couple of letters in there and you'd be, oh boy, you'd be regal.

I'd be in big trouble. Would you really? Yeah. Why? Well, because that's a fucking horrible thing to have attached to your name. Is it? Chandelier. The worst.

It's a chandelier that people think of like a nice building, a nice house. But it's like sparkly lights. It's a little bit, I don't know, effeminate. It's better than if your name was like one letter away from being toilet. Yeah. If you were Carl Toilet. If I was Carl Toilet, sure.

Yeah. But chandelier's pretty shit. Like it's when people try to hang shit on my name, that's about the closest they can get. Really? Yeah. Because I remember people trying to rhyme my name, my first name with stuff when I was a kid.

And it was like, eh, there wasn't much. Like, as I'd be making fun of their name, they'd be like, all right, well, how about you, Carl Taj Mahal? Nice. Yeah, I got Tom the Bomb or I got Thomas the Tank Engine. They're endearment. Did you have this childhood schoolyard rhyme back in the 1930s? There was a couple of guys in my year level called Nick

and they would get called Nick the prick with the 50-mile dick. Now, that's kids having not learnt measurement yet because that's a hell of a compliment. A 50-mile dick. Can you imagine such a thing? Is that a compliment compliment that seems like a really tough bear to cross like or cross the bear maybe across you don't want to make this bear angry well especially not with a 50 50 yard dick or 50 miles so how does that convert what's the conversion on that i don't know like about two to one or so isn't it like 100k dick 100k dick yeah that's i mean's the conversion on that? I don't know, like about two to one or so. Isn't it like a 100K dick?

A 100K dick. Yeah. I mean, that's difficult to manage. That's like, you know, the blood. For you to get an erection. Oh, yes. With an 80 kilometre dick. That's going to kill you.

But let's say your dick is like 80 kilometres. So let's say it doesn't fit in your house. So it goes out the front door. It's like, you know, it's a couple of is like 80 kilometres. So let's say it doesn't fit in your house, so it goes out the front door. It's a couple of suburbs away. What then happens when you get an erection and it kind of firms up? Is it just a building's getting wiped out by it? Is it like pushing the recoil cord on a vacuum cleaner

where you're just getting, you know what I mean, you're kind of pulled towards the tip of the dick? How does it work? Well, another question I would ask is, is the 50-mile dick flaccid? Well, I mean, it's default, sure. I'm just gathering that it functions like a regular dick. So you have – you know, it's just lying there. Yeah.

You're, you know – yeah, you're two suburbs away. Yeah, but you – when you – when people traditionally measure their penis, they don't measure it – Traditionally. Yeah, they don't measure it flaccid. They measure it erect. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Right. So you're saying 50 miles erect and probably more like, what, 30 flaccid? Maybe, yeah. Right. Yeah. Right. So 50-mile dick. So who's this guy?

He's got a 30-mile flaccid dick and he's like, no, no, we've got to get it erect. I need to get those extra 20 miles on there. This is nothing. Yeah, someone starts calling him 30-mile dick. Mate, I was in the pool. It's cold in Brunswick right now, where the tip of it is. Anyway, thanks, Melanie. Thanks, Melanie.

Thank you for inspiring that. Someone accused this of being a lowbrow show the other day. And for a minute I got offended just because they said it in a way that sounded like they were trying to have a dig. And then I thought about it for more than a minute and I went, that's fair. Yeah, look, it's not an on-purpose lowbrow show. We're just trying to be funny.

And sometimes, you know, some silly things are dirty and they're funny and we don't do it all the time. But people throw lowbrow around like it's a bad thing. Like this is better than Frasier. Oh, totally. Totally. I fucking hate Frasier. Fuck. I fucking hate Frasier.

Cheers. Amazing. Frasier, shithouse. Yeah. And feel free to argue with me on social media about that because I fucking hate Frasier. No good. I've never watched any of it.

Oh, I envy you. Man, there was no 50 Mile Dick on that show. Would have made it a lot better. Thanks, Melanie. Thanks, Melanie. Thank you too. Now, look, you're the best one with this about knowing when people have been thanked on the show before.

Oh, yes, yes. I've gone through all my records. I believe this to be true that she has not been thanked on this show before. But familiar name and maybe for a different reason. Okay. So I don't know what to think about this next one. Sure, okay. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Stephanie Rice.

Ooh. No, now, I don't believe ever having talked about her. Am I just finding that familiar because that's the same name as a swimmer? Or, indeed, may be the swimmer. I'd love it if that's the swimmer. Right. It could be true. It could be.

It could be her. Well, we hear little murmurs of famous people listening to this show. Yes. Now, we hear this. Now, we'd love to get it confirmed. If you're listening to this right now and you're in a band. Oh, yes. I told you this the other day.

Someone told me over Instagram that through a friend of a friend, they happen to believe that Joe from Hot Chip, one of my favourite bands, listens to this show. Right. Now, my God, if that's true, you've got to get in touch with us. Right. I need to know if this is true. Okay.

Because that's unbelievable. Well, it's believable for me because I don't know the band. So, yeah, I believe it. But that would be, what would be, like, who would you be most impressed to hear listens to this show? In the music world? In terms of like a personal, something you really love, who would it make your day to know that they listen to this

and are a fan, are a mutual fan? Right. If I was going to pick something that I'd be most impressed by, in the music world maybe. Sure, yeah. Well, it'd be like, you know, Mike Patton or something like that, I would say. We're both Beck fans.

That'd be cool if Beck listened. Yeah. And then he could like, I mean, if he offered to, if he was like, hey, I love what you guys do and look, I can do big things for you guys. Yep. But there's one condition. You've got to join a little church of mine.

Call the Patreon, the Church of Patreon. My friend L. Ron Comedy. Fuck, that's a good idea. That would be cool. That would be very cool. Wow. Yeah, look. No, look, if we do have someone that big or famous listening,

and not Hot Chip Man, but like Beck or whoever, I'd be very disappointed that they weren't subscribing on Patreon. Oh, yeah, yeah. If you've got the bunts, if you've got all this money. But that's probably just like they don't want to reveal themselves because they know we're going to go, Beck, oh, more like fucking Schmeck. Yeah.

Fair. I wouldn't want to cop that either. But Stephanie Rice, so this, I mean, I guess it's a kind of a common name, isn't it? Is it? Rice, I don't know. Rice, maybe not. Yeah, Rice is not that common.

Yeah. In fact, I don't believe I've ever met anyone with the last name Rice. Ever. Really? Yeah. And I've only ever heard of Stephanie Rice the swimmer. And Stephanie Rice the Patreon subscriber. This is the thing.

If people are too scared, if famous people listen and they're too scared to let us know because they think we're going to talk about them on the show or badger them to come on, you can just send us an email and you can just state your wishes that you be left anonymous and we'll respect that. We won't talk about you on the show. We just want to know. You can be an unlisted Patreon subscriber. Yes.

You can have a private number, which is something I should have. Stephanie Rice, if you are the swimmer and we are getting funds from Swimming Australia, basically, let us know. Yeah. Come on the show. We'd love to talk to you. All we're going to do is ask you for 50 minutes about the rumours of you and Kobe Bryant. That's all we're going to do. Yeah, you and Kobe Bryant. That's all we're going

to do. Oh yeah that'd be good. That's all we need. Yeah. Just you on the record. You let us know

whether or not it ever happened. Yeah. And about if he's got a 50 mile dig. Thanks Steph. Thanks Steph. And yeah.

Like I would I'd be fine with us being a bit more like the Church of Scientology where they really give it up for the celebrities. Like I'm more than happy for us to really just treat the celebrity listeners a lot differently and a lot better than the rest of this muck. I think Scientology would look at us and we'd be able to advance up the ladder

pretty quickly because, you know, there's that documentary – well, there's been a few documentaries in the last couple of years about how like a big part of it is like going on. Going clear. About how people are just in these basements getting the shit beaten out of them. I mean that's kind of not that far off what we've already done on this show verbally to each other for six years. Do you think that the Church of Scientology

would like to sign us up just so they could beat the shit out of us in a basement? Yeah but no I think they'd go, these guys have already been subjected to so much mental abuse in the time that they've done this podcast. So they're already, they're right for the malt. We don't really need to do anything to them. They're already broken.

Yeah, exactly. We just leap straight up the ladder. But that's how they get them in apparently, isn't it? Because they get like young actors and stuff in LA and they give them the, you know, they say to them, we can push you through the ranks because we've got Travolta, we've got Tom Cruise, we've got whatever. They would listen to us complain about everyone else going past us

in our career and go, these guys are ripe for the picking. And by ripe, I mean rotten, still hanging on the branch. Hey, the church, make us an offer. You know, we're out there. We're listening. We're ready. Yeah. If the Church of Scientology want to sponsor us, let's talk.

Yes. Let's talk turkey. Wow. Imagine being the first podcast sponsored by the Church of Scientology. I'd do it. I mean, there's bits of that documentary where I was like, man, that sounds nice. Like what?

That support network. Right. Getting a good flogging. Yeah. What? Getting a good beating. Right. You want that?

I'd be into it. Okay, all right. I think it would straighten me out. It? Getting a good beating. Right. You want that? I'd be into it. Okay. All right. I think it would straighten me out. Right. It would be good for me. Did you not get whacked as a child? No, I got whacked.

You were? I got whacked, yeah. I thought maybe as an only child you would have been maybe treated a bit different. You would have been whacked. Because I always think, you know, you've got two kids. You've got one spare. You whack someone. You think that's the theory behind beating a kid?

Totally. Did you get whacked? Yeah, of course. Yeah, no, I got it. I got the wooden the theory behind beating a kid? Totally. Did you get whacked? Yeah, of course. No, I got it. I got the wooden spoon. Oh, did you? Yeah, I got the wooden spoon right across my little fanny. Oh, yeah? What about your bum? But then one day I worked out

I was like, hey, every time I act up, this motherfucker he's going to the drawer and he's getting the wooden spoon. Like I know, I just know where that wooden spoon is. Right. So I just went and I just took it. Yep.

And then I start firing up and dad goes, that's it. And goes and opens the drawer. Guess what's not in there? Oh. Wooden spoon. So he gets out a cleaver. He stabs you. Cuts my finger off.

So what does he do? I think it was, I think that actually flummoxed him and then he was like, get me the spoon. Go and get the spoon. And I'm like, or what? What are you going to hit me with? Nothing. And then nothing happened.

Yeah, nothing happened. Then he calmed down. Even though you stole his spoon, I would have thought that would have been. No, I'll tell you what he did the next day. He went and bought a new spoon. Oh, really? Yes. Oh, he learned his lesson then.

Yeah, and spanked himself with it as a punishment for being so stupid bought the spoon docked it out of my pocket money did he really uh no i don't think so oh fuck you had it i think he then he went and hit it then he just learned and hit it in a in a like on a shelf that i couldn't reach right yeah wow i think he had it under lock and key for a bit oh really he had it locked up in his shed. Fuck. That's interesting. Making my dad sound like an extremely abusive man. I don't think, I never got the wooden spoon.

I just got the whack with the hand. Oh, really? Yeah. Across the face? No. Or what bit? On the bum? I had this conversation with someone the other day and people said, oh, did you get whacked

in the face? I'm like, my parents never punched me. So what did you get? Just flung over the knee? No. Drop your little panties? No, I think just... Give you a little hiding on that little bear ass of yours?

I don't think I got bear eyes. I think it was just walked up and went whack on the ass. Like no grabbing, just sort of walked up and bang, bang, bang. Maybe across the legs. Oh, wow. Yeah, that's savage. Which I'm very much looking forward to doing to any potential children of mine.

It's going to be so good. Just beating the shit out of them. Yeah, just get the wax on them. You can't do it anymore. Oh, really? No. You're going to have to make do with just kicking

the shit out of that catty horse. That's where the Church of Scientology is going to come in good. Yes, yes. By that stage, I will have evolved up the ranks and I'll have the new people coming in

and I'll be able to beat the shit out of them in the basement. Yeah, that's what we're all aiming for. Great. Well, thanks, Stephanie. Yeah, thanks, Stephanie. And if you are the swimmer, hey, get in touch. Yeah, please. Thank you.

You won't get in trouble for saying the F word on here. The what word? That's our guarantee. Remember she got in trouble for calling someone a faggot on Twitter? Oh, man. Don't you remember that? Yeah, but I didn't need you to say it then. Well, you did because you said what F word.

No, I didn't say what F word. I said what? What word? I thought you said N word. I'm like, wow, I don't remember that. No, the F word. Right, okay. Well, I thought you meant fuck because the F word is fuck.

Well, I imagine, I mean, she would still get in trouble for having said that. Not as much trouble as the other one. Anyway, right. Thanks, Stephanie. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Chris Killeen. Chris Killeen. Yeah, K-A-N-E. Any relation to Gretel, I wonder?

No, because I believe it is spelt differently. I might be wrong. Could be related through marriage and it's just, because I believe it is spelt differently. I might be wrong. It could be related through marriage and it's just a coincidence that the names are spelt similarly. It's unlikely.

K-I-double-L-double-E-N. Chris Killeen. I don't mind it because it's quite a tough sounding last name. You've got kill in there. Yeah. Oh, you do, yeah.

Yeah, nice. Kill. That's a strong word as well. Hard K. Didn't you have a strong word as well. Hard K. Didn't you have a guy at your school who referred to masturbating as having a kill? Yes. One of those great things where you think, where you hear something and then you go, everyone says this.

Not at all. Having a kill. Yeah, having a kill. It's so strange. It's so strange. Because what are you killing exactly? You're killing sperm he goes into a police station he goes i've got to confess to just killing a bunch of people yeah they lock

him in the clink yeah thinking that he's like some mass murderer yeah unbeknownst to them all he's been doing is just jerking people off yeah or he may have meant killing a few people killing a few potential people because he's like pulling the sperm out of his little dickie and giving them no chance at turning into a person. Once again, just want to stress that this is indefinitely better than Frasier. Yes. In every way. What did Frasier ever talk about?

Like, he's an old man in the fucking rocking chair, the stupid dog. Does the dog talk? No. I remember a lot of close-ups of the dog, but who cares? Why are you going for a close-up on the dog if it's not... Is it meant to be like Garfield, where the dog's thinking stuff? Yeah. But we're just meant to kind of know what it's thinking.

No. No, see, that would have made it a better show. True. Well, anything would have made it a better show. Man, fuck, Cheers is so good. How the fuck did they make Frasier so shit? Was it the same people? Yes.

Oh, okay. Yeah, it's just the characters. I hated all the characters. No interest in what happened to any of those characters. Like, Frasier was possibly... I never hated him in Cheers, but he was the least interesting character in Cheers. And they made the show about him.

And you know what? Who cares what I say? They made, it was more successful than Cheers in terms of awards. Every year I would watch the Emmys or whatever it was. You'd see Seinfeld or The Simpsons come up against it. And Frasier would win every year. You'd go, what the fuck is wrong with this? Yeah.

Channel 9 would play it out here. And they'd see how successful it was in America and go, we're missing a trick here. I don't know what we did wrong, but let's put it on again this summer. And they'd put it on and no one would how successful it was in America and go, we're missing a trick here. I don't know what we did wrong, but let's put it on again this summer. And they'd put it on and no one would fucking watch it. Oh, it was only ever on during the summer? They kept trying on different time slots.

No one ever watched it in Australia. Oh, really? Okay. It was very unsuccessful. So they'd end up putting it on during summer, you know, repeat season. I fucking hate you, Frasier. I love how fired up Frasier gets you. Oh, yuck.

Off the top of my head, if you said what's your least favourite show of all time, off the top of my head I would say Frasier. You know who's having a great career renaissance at the moment? Ted Danson. Yeah. He goes in everything at the moment. He was... Well, again, I'll go back to the negativity. I didn't like Becca.

Oh, no, me either. But he's now got the street cred of being in Curb Your Enthusiasm. Right. And he's in that new show, The Good Place, which people really like. Yeah, I watched... Which I watched one episode of on a plane and didn't mind it. You didn't mind it. Yeah, I watched one episode of it the other day and didn't mind it but haven't watched it.

Right. Because my wife watched it when... That show is shit. She didn't like it? No. Yeah. But I don't trust her taste. She's very up and down. Wait, so you have watched it or you haven't watched it? No. Yeah. But I don't trust her taste. She's very up and down.

Wait, so you have watched it or you haven't watched it? No, I watched it with her and I enjoyed it, but she didn't like it. I read a lot of people really going off about it and thought this is going to be amazing and then I thought it was just like fine. I didn't love it, but yeah. It was that first episode though. Yeah. But that's the hardest episode to do.

Oh, for sure. Totally. Yeah. You've got to explain everything that's going on. You can't just be funny the whole time. But I like Ted Danson, so that's probably what's going to get Oh, for sure. Totally. You've got to explain everything that's going on. You can't just be funny the whole time. But I like Ted Danson. So that's probably what's going to get me to go back. Yeah, yeah.

I'll try and go back. But I was looking for a movie that we could both, or a TV show that we could both watch together. And that was not it. But then I found it, which was Better Call Saul. But then I went out to gigs at night and she raced ahead. And she's now two seasons ahead of me. Oh, okay.

So I can't watch that with her anymore. All right. Well, you just got to watch it during the day by yourself when you're here. You know. I can't do it. Why don't you try watching Frasier with her? Yeah. Fuck.

It's been 20 years. Maybe it's, you know, maybe you've come around to it. Yeah, maybe. You never know. Maybe your tastes have changed. Maybe I'm now like, you know, I'm 41 now. Maybe that's probably the key demo for Frasier. You work in radio like him.

Well, you know what? I work in fictional radio like for Frasier. You work in radio like him. Well, you know what? I work in fictional radio like literally Frasier does. Yeah. Let's get a talkback caller in here. Fuck, I would love that. I would love to do a talkback episode of this show. We've got to work out a way to do it. Okay.

If we do, we could do an episode where we have like a Skype number that people call in. We would, you know what? I don't know if I want to talk to people that listen to this show because they're all massive smartasses. Okay. But that's the thing that when we've talked about like trying to be on radio before, me and you,

that's genuinely one of the major reasons I would like to do a radio show. Yeah. To talk back listeners. Totally. Callers. Yeah, that would make this so much easier. Fuck, I would love it.

Just roasting people on the radio. What do you think of Frasier? Give us a call. Anyway, thanks, Chris. 50 Mile Dick. Would that be erect or flaccid? I mean, this stuff writes itself. Exactly.

Yeah. Frasier, shit or really shit? Give us a call on 1-800-69-69. Stephanie Rice saying the F word 10 years ago. Cool or not? What is the F word? Is it fuck or is it the other one? Give us a call.

Man, dumb dumb talkback sounds amazing. Oh, man, it would be so good. I want this on AM now instead of FM as well. Definitely. Three in the morning. Fuck. That would be a good time slot for us. Those mid-dawn shifts where it's just mental cases.

You know what? I think it would be more normal than the kind of feedback we generally get. You know what? And I'd love to just, you know, just get a summer little job. Yeah. Over the summer. Give a little dum-dum club on the radio. A two-month shift.

Yeah. Give us a little, just give us a little go. Give us a little bite. It's nice. It's funny when we meet people after gigs and they go, oh, have you ever thought about doing radio? Like an auntie going, why don't you call up Rove and get on his show? It's like, yeah, we've been trying. No one has any interest in giving us work.

Oh, well, we've had a few talks and whatever. We've had a crack. We've had a couple of cracks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you know, who knows? But, you know, in radio you'd rather sort of get someone that's, you know, been on, you know, I don't know what, another show first. You know, been on The Bachelor, been on whatever.

Yeah, so that's what you said. We've got to get ourselves on The Bachelor. Is that the thing? We go in as like a joint contestant. Right. So you're in a polyamorous relationship with the both of us. Right. If you choose us.

Wow. That's not bad. Poly the bachelor. Poly the bachelorette. So it's like all people in teams competing. Imagine that as an actual tactic going, right, we've done six years of podcasting. Nothing works. Let's get on The Bachelor.

Somehow it's easier to get on The Bachelor than it is to get on community radio at three in the morning. Yeah. That's good. That's good. I get the feeling we do have a bunch of people that listen from Radio Land. So, you know, if you're listening right now and you think, we do have a shift. If you're staring at a blackboard that's got a big – you know, the shifts for next year and there's just this one big glaring space in the middle and you've been racking your brain all day and then now you've just gone,

you know what, I need a break from thinking about this. I'm going to listen to that podcast. Hey, walk over there right now. I've got two names for you. Hamish and Andy. If all of a sudden someone from the block has just fucking put a drill through their own head and you can't use them on radio anymore,

instead of hitting up some fuckhead that's good with a trowel, how about you hit up someone with a bit of experience doing a bit of yacky-yacky? Hey? Yeah. That's us. Give us a summer. I mean, that bit where we went on about Frasier for about ten minutes.

I mean, what better advertisement is there for our skills at commercial radio than by going on and on about a sitcom we don't like from 20 years ago? Totally. That's what's, you know, people are walking away from radio these days. They need to be drawn back in and we are the people to do it. Yeah. We got thoughts on the Drew Carey show.

Yeah. You know, we got thoughts on... I got a thought on the Drew Carey show. It was okay. It was a good show. Boom. Lost its way towards the end, but... Yeah.

Or maybe we just lost our way. Hey. Yeah. Here's Kesha. Fuck. This sounds great. I want to buy air conditioning now. What if we, instead of getting a job on radio,

if we just started playing songs in this podcast? Oh. So we just talk for three minutes and then we just literally, we just play music. We just have songs, just random songs going for their entirety. We come back and we do three more minutes. Yeah. What if we did like a live video thing on our Facebook page

where we just tried to do a radio station show live on camera and then we would talk for five minutes and then just play a song but just still sit in front of the camera while the song's playing? That's not bad. Yeah. I don't mind that at all. Yeah, summer radio with Tommy and Carl. It's got a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

Hey, it's the start of November. Not quite summer yet. There's still time. There's still time. I've got a feeling we couldn't call it Little Dumb Dumb Club. We'd have to call it something else. So maybe it's like Summer Fuckheads with Tommy and Carl. Yeah, that's good.

Or Summer the Other F Word Heads with Tommy and Carl. Yeah, that's good. Or some of the other F word heads with Tommy and Carl. Some of your best. That's not bad. That's not bad. All right. Fuck. Well, that's locked in. All right.

Hit us up. So what's the checklist so far? Joe from Hot Chip. Get in touch. Yeah, famous people. Get in touch. You get treated differently by us. Yeah. You get the upper echelon. Yeah. Scientology. Get us in. Yeah, famous people, get in touch. You get treated differently by us. Yeah.

You get the upper echelon. Yeah. Scientology, get us in. Scientology, hit us up for an ad. And radio, summer radio job, we're up for it. Yeah. We're in. Yeah.

Say the word, give us those big bucks as well, as we know that everyone on summer radio gets. Yeah. Probably not. And what's the convert? What is exactly, what is 50 miles equal in kilometres? Yep. Right.

Well, I feel like I could look that up right now. So we don't need feedback on that. Thanks, Chris. Yep. Thanks for inspiring all these great conversations so far this week. It feels like we just have stuff that we just want to talk about anyway. Yep. And we just kind of wedge them in.

Oh, I make up all these names. Tenuously. I make up all these names and I know what's coming. Thank you to Patreon. Okay, Frankie Survivor. Yeah. Thank you to Patreon subscriber James Hamlin. James Hamlin.

Look, could be a brother of Harry, not confirmed. Who's that? Harry Hamlin, the star of L.A. Law, as if you don't know. Okay, right, right. Was married to the, oh, what was her name? Someone from, what, Melrose Place, something like that? Lisa, Lisa, what's her name? Lisa, she's had a lot of plastic surgery these days.

She's one of the real housewives. Oh, okay. I don't know who you're talking about. Oh, damn. Anyway, she was a very attractive lady on whatever that show was. But Harry Hamlin, L.A. Law, one of those big bum chins. The big cleft. Yes, the huge cleft.

Cleft. Good name, cleft. Did you watch that, whatever it was, the 90s show on SBS the other night? I did. What a weird thing for SBS to have on. I was very excited about it because I saw billboards for it when we were in America last. Oh, really? Yeah, big billboards. Billboards for the 90s?

Yeah. They had a lot of shows over there. They had the history of comedy that they were advertising and they had the 90s and I was like, oh, I wish I was watching the 90s. And I sat down and I was going to put something on. I was going to put like a tweet out or something saying, you know, Rad Dad says check out the 90s right now on SBS.

Oh, yeah. I watched it. It was alright. Yeah, it's one of those things where it's like hey South Park here's some clips of South Park here's people talking about South Park

and ultimately you end up going you don't want to be better than this just watching South Park yeah just getting tiny little sound bites

of TV shows and going yeah I could watch that anytime I guess but I wanted to be a bit more like and maybe look maybe that was

a bad episode to watch because it was just about TV. Like, there's other episodes that are about other things. Oh, just other stuff that's happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I was hoping it was a bit more about, a bit more in the style of, you know, the Ojo doco.

Yeah. Something like that. But, you know, that could be coming up. Who knows? James Hamlin. Thanks, Hamlin. Thanks, mate. Thanks, Jimmy Hamlin.

Sorry we just got the 90s TV show out of your name instead of all those horrible things we got out of everyone else's name. I think you'd be happy with that. I think he's come off pretty well. Okay. Some people want to be made fun of and some people don't. So it's hard to tell. Yeah.

People need to start including that. Just roast me. Include some personal details about yourself that we can hold up to ridicule or just go, you know what play easy just if you can talk about a TV show for 15 minutes when you read out my name

that is what I'd prefer just let us know because ultimately we're working for you guys you're our employer yeah good yeah

it's a nice idea to remind people of that alright so I'm getting pretty tired so I'm just going to do this one and then that'll do oh really

oh I thought we were just getting warmed up would have been good to do no no no I'm getting a bit tired six or seven more or something I'm getting pretty tired, so I'm just going to do this one and then that'll do. Oh, really? Oh, I thought we were just getting warmed up. No, no, no, I'm getting a bit tired. Six or seven more or something. A bit tired. Yeah, okay, that's fair. All right. I don't have much energy left. That's okay.

So what will this be? This will be, I'm not sure. Why does it matter? Oh, I don't know. We're just reading names. We're not focusing. No, I imagine you've just got an infinite list there, so you've got to know how many you read out to just cross off.

Well, we don't need to know that at all. We just read names and then we finish the show. Why would you need to count them? Yeah, no, no, fair. I'll just mark a line underneath this one and we'll pick up where we left off last week, that's all. Okay, all right. So we'll just do this one and then we'll go.

Okay, fine. You see, aversion to numbers that you have is bizarre. I just, you're a boner for numbers. Like, fuck it, you had a 30-mile dig before and then I bring up some numbers and it turns into a 50-mile one. Jesus. All right.

So I've had some complaints. Some people have said, you know, a lot of people complain that their name hasn't been read out yet. And so I usually take that and I, you know, make note of it and then I'll try my very best to get it done that week or the next week. Yeah, yeah. Some people have been complaining that one family have been getting too good of a run. Oh.

They're thinking that there's preferential treatment going on. Like the rices? No, no, no, another one. Look, we'll go through it after the show. I don't have time at the moment. But if you go through the list of what we've done, there's been a name come up more than once, a surname come up more than once. On today's one or?

Not today's one, on previous ones. Oh, on all of these? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really? Yeah. So they think that there's, I don't know, anyway, look. People think there's favouritism or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You can't please everyone all the time. Like, you know what I mean. Yeah. You know, on social media, there's always someone complaining about something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyway. Yeah, no, no. I wasn't aware of this, so i'd like to let the

people complaining if i if i had any idea this was going on i would have you know i would have put an end to it by now but this is i mean i'm hearing about this for the first time yeah well so anyway i've done my best i've i've i've gone through um i i think it's quite silly myself but i've made special care to not mention uh a certain family in case they even – to be honest, they didn't even – no one with that name even subscribed this week, so I didn't have to do anything. Right, okay. I just double-checked.

Well, that's good. That's fortunate. But it's good that you did your due diligence. Like I said, we're working for these people now. If they've got a problem with this bit of the show, they should be able to speak up. We've heard you, and we've improved this show. Great. I've gone over it with a fine tooth comb and I've checked the

surnames of everyone. For someone that was too tired to do any more names, you sure are taking a long time to get to this last and I believe fifth one. Fucking hell. What is wrong with you? Fuck. Concentrate on the names.

You've got some sort of beautiful mind thing happening here. Yes, yes. I'm trying to think about these people as individuals, and you see them as numbers. I do, yeah. You piece of shit. It's just how my brain works. They're flesh and blood like you and me, okay?

Yes. They're not just some number on a board or a calculator. I'm sorry. They're all beautiful and unique and individual to me. It just helps me to kind of, you know, have it to just know. It's a bit of an OCD thing, you know. Right. Okay.

I'm sorry to anyone out there that Tommy has offended. You are all individuals and much respected and appreciated by, at the very least, me. With all separate thoughts and feelings. So, I don't think I have seen this surname popped up even once before. Okay. So this is, I promise. A brand new.

Unless they've changed it via marriage or something like that, there is no. Wow, that's huge. Subscribing, putting the name down and then changing it and then cracking the shits after. Technically, it hasn't been read out. Bold move. So here we go.

Here we go. Great. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Connie D d thank you miss d connie d yeah thank you miss d thank you for subscribing you are an individual d as in d ee yeah and connie is like connie britain the great actress yes from friday night lights yeah connie and nashville yeah two great shows well one and a half great shows. Yeah. One great show and one season of a good show.

Yeah, and then it went fucking berserk. Yeah. Connie D, speaking of things going berserk. Speaking of things being not as good as something else. Not you, Connie. You put in as much as everyone, so thank you very much. This fifth name every week is almost like the, I can't remember his name

the guy that's in the wheelchair in Friday Night Lights it started really well never mind it started really well and then got cut so much potential Connie D the D family

I don't believe we've ever had anyone So much potential. Right. Connie D. Yeah, the D family. Thanks very much. The D family. So, yeah, I don't believe we've ever had anyone donating under this last name before. Just great to get some fresh blood in here. Great to get some fresh blood in there. Yeah, yeah. Connie, Connie. No need to –

Connie D. All right, don't do your number thing or whatever you're trying to do. I'm just saying her name. Anyway, I'm trying to say thank you. I mean, I don't know if – so there's no need to, I guess, make a D family tree or anything like that. No. Just an individual here.

Yeah. Well, who knows if, you know, maybe someone else from that family will donate in the future. Who knows? We could run into the same problem again. Yeah. I hope not. I don't want to get those complaints again.

I don't want that to ever happen again. But hey, good on you for, you know, you went out of your way. Yep. You addressed people's complaints. Yep. I don't want this thing getting stale. I don't want people like listening to this and thinking they're going to get the same thing every week.

Yeah, and well, to people who complained, I hope you've heard this bit right now and I hope you're happy. Yeah. You created this. Because of you that this and I hope you're happy. Yeah. You created this. Because of you that this happened. So you're welcome. Yeah. As I always say, the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

Yes. And we've greased your little fucking wheel right up, guys. Yep. You're welcome. This is a great episode. This is in the top ten of all time now, I think, in your ears because I've fixed the problem that's been nagging at you for the last maybe 20 weeks or so.

Well, thanks, Connie. Yeah, and thank you, Connie, for your, let me see, $69. $69? Yeah. That's interesting. Yeah. That's interesting. It is interesting because it's a lot of money.

Yeah. Not quite $70. Yeah. It's weird that you wouldn't just give $70. Hey, you know what? It's more than $59. Don't worry about just what it's nearly as much as. It's more than $70. Yeah. It's weird that you wouldn't just give $70. Hey, you know what? It's more than $59. Don't worry about just what it's nearly as much as. It's more than $68.

Just remember it's more than a lot of other numbers. That's true. Your favourite thing, fucking numbers. Jesus Christ. Yeah, guilty as charged. Well, thanks to everyone who contributes and inspires such wonderful conversation between me and Carl each week. If you would like to be part of this quote-unquote fun,

patreon.com slash littledumbdumbclub or at our website littledumbdumbclub.com is where you can do that. And we do really appreciate everyone who chips in every week. It is, yeah, it's a nice little wicket you and I are on now. And look, if you enjoy this part of the show, which we enjoy making probably more than the normal part of the show. I agree. So like we mentioned at the top of the show, we we enjoy making probably more than the normal part of the show. I agree. Like we mentioned at the top of the show,

we are doing one of these things live. Yes, we are reading out names live in Melbourne at the European Beer Cafe on December 2? Yes. On a Saturday afternoon, late afternoon. So if you are listening to this and you like, you know, Connie, Miss D,

if you are listening to this and you want to come along to the live show you are a subscriber. Yeah. So you get a free ticket. You will have gotten an email off us most probably with a free ticket. Now check the social medias. Once that is exhausted, that allocation, then we will sell some tickets and fit some more

people in if we can. And given that we're reading these out live, I mean if you're listening and you don't subscribe and you have a name like dr fuckwit then by all means chip in now because we'd love to have some real bangers to bring out of the live show some real easy ones i mean i mean connie d we're pretty stumped with that so we'd like some juicy ones one of us was extremely stumped by it with a 50 mile stump Alright guys Thank you for listening We hope you enjoyed This week's episode

Let us know Of course Facebook Twitter All that stuff You can find us on there We love seeing the feedback Every week

Get on the iTunes Leave us reviews And all that sort of stuff Yeah That'd be lovely Please pass it on to your friends We love it when we get New listeners

Off the back of someone Loving the show so much That they want their friends To be part of it So they get to bring them Along to live shows If we've got a live show Coming much that they want their friends to be part of it. So they get to bring them along to live shows. If we've got a live show coming up, bring a friend along. See what they think of it.

That gets a lot of people hooked that way. Write an ad for us on a toilet wall. Yes, a lot of them coming in. We're still getting them. And this is one of the favourite things that we've ever encouraged that's ever happened. People keep doing it. Writing on toilet walls an ad for us.

I genuinely love it. So keep doing it. Riding on toilet walls. So good. And for us. I genuinely love it. So keep doing that. Send us pictures. We'll put it up on the social medias, all that sort of stuff. Keep subscribing. Grab the t-shirts. Go to our website. It's got the t-shirts.

It's got all the details of all the live shows. We'd love to see you there. We're really trying not to bang on about the Thailand trip too much this time because we've got so long to go. But man, a lot of people have signed up already. Yeah, it's going to be great. We'll keep it to a minimum for quite a while if we can, but we'll let you know developments. But a lot of people are coming.

A lot of people are saying, what if we come and we're alone, whatever. Man, you won't be alone. There's going to be so many fucking people there. So littledumbdumbclub.com, all that stuff. Thanks for listening and we'll see you next week. See you, mates.