The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 385 - Anne Edmonds & Nick Capper

Episode Date: February 20, 2018

This week we're joined by the awesome ANNE EDMONDS! Also, NICK CAPPER. Oh well, one out of two ain't bad. Capper tells us about what he's been studying recently, Eddo's planning an escape out of comedy and we have more Brisbane venue issues for our upcoming shows! PLUS Crunchy goes for a walk!Don't forget, we have a bunch of huge live shows coming up:BRISBANE: We're coming back for an afternoon of huge live podcasts! MARCH 10.ADELAIDE: God help us, we're coming back. Don't make us regret it. MARCH 17MELBOURNE: We've got a month of awesome live shows happening for the month of APRIL. KOH SAMUI: The Koh Samui International Podcast Festival is happening again in 2018 with guests The Dollop! JUNE 13 - 18. For tickets, merchandise, links to our Patreon and heaps of other stuff, head to our website: littledumdumclub.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Today on The Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with special guests Nick Capper and Anne Edmonds. But first of all, oh boy, we are getting close to some of these live dates we got coming up. Very nice. We are going to a certain city. I'll let you say it. Brisbane. Yeah.

That's the first one. Oh, okay. I could have said that. I thought we'd be doing these in chronological order. I keep forgetting what order they're in. So we're in Brisbane now that you've said it. March the 10th. Get along. Their tickets are selling crazily so there won't be very many tickets left by this point. No. March the 10th.

Go to the website, obviously, as is with all of these places. Over to you for the next one this point. No. March the 10th. Go to the website, obviously, as is with all of these places. Over to you for the next one, Tommy. Okay, we are going to Adelaide, March 17th. Again, same deal as Brisbane. Big double episode. Not quite the same deal as Brisbane. There are differences. Well, the same deal in all

aspects except for one very major one. But yeah, two live episodes back to back. Heaps of special guests. That's going to be heaps of fun. March 17. Then the month of April, you can say this one because I'm shitty at this town. You can correct them. April 1, April 8, April 15 and April 22.

We've finally been worn down by you guys. We are going to go to Melbourne. We're going to Melbourne. You guys requested it. We're doing it. Four massive ones on the Sunday afternoons at 3 o' are going to go to Melbourne. We're going to Melbourne. You guys requested it. We're doing it. Four massive ones on the Sunday afternoons at three o'clock. Fuck you Melbourne. Oh no, don't say that. Fuck you Melbourne. Hey, you know what?

Most of the bad things that have ever happened to me in my life, they've happened in this city of Melbourne. So fair enough for me to be a little bit anti the city of Melbourne. You know what? Batmania. Per capita, Brisbane have sold fucking heaps. They've sold per capita so much more than Melbourne. So Melbourne could get a wriggle on, actually.

They should get a wriggle on. Yeah, totally. So get into it. Look, someone's coming around to this anti-Melbourne talk. Well, look, I'm comparing them to a certain other little town and they're still looking pretty good. True, yeah. So, guys, get your season passes.

They're a bit cheaper to go and see all the little shows and, of course, they get you a little first preference to get into the drunk cast on April the 22nd. And, of course, our solo shows are on sale right now. I am doing mine. It's called Carl Chandler's Shit List. Go to littledumbdomnomclub.com Like

all the other details. You'll find all the other details there as well, as well as your solo show. Mine is called Leisure Suit Tommy. It is on from March 28 until April the 8th. And as per a recent discussion of ours, I think I'm now going to be doing one on that last weekend for any of you interstaters

just coming in for the final podcast and drunk cut. So keep an eye out for that. I believe I'm now going to be doing one on that last weekend for any of you interstaters just coming in for the final podcast and drunk us. Keep an eye out for that. What will happen is if you want to do the traditional everything on one night thing, you can go and see the podcast at 3pm. You can see my show at 4.30. You can see Tommy at 6 o'clock. Then you can

kill some time and hang around and wait for the maybe go and see another show or two or just get really drunk. I can't imagine why you would. Yeah, it's a lot of shows. Just get leathered, get ready for the drunk ass at about 11 o'clock. So yeah, that'll be a huge last

night of all of our little shows. Of all of our lives. Yeah, the traditional saying that we always say. So that'll be huge and of course, looming ominously in the background is the Koh Samui International Podcast. Ominous? Very ominous. Ominous is kind of bad, isn't it?

It's an omen. There can be good omens. Okay. Yeah. There's good omens. You don't sort of say, but you don't say like, oh, I'm my marriage, my wedding is looming over me ominously. That's like someone's like, oh, this guy's about to make a huge mistake. I just kind of think it's like, you know, impressive.

That's how I'm trying to describe it. I think ominous is still, that can still be a positive word, I think. Okay. In my head. Well, we'll fucking hear about this. There's no doubt about that. I don't want to offend any of the people in Coast of Melbourne. Yes, June 13 to 18.

You can find details on our website, littledumbdumbclub.com. People are still getting their shit together, which I'm a little bit surprised. I would have thought people would have worked it out by now. And there are heaps of people that have worked it out by now, which is cool. But there are still plenty of people right now just hitting us up going, oh, yeah, what's your advice with flights and accommodation?

And, oh, what are you guys going to do on the final? Are you still going to go to Copenhagen? And yes, we are. We're going to Copenhagen Roadshow. The Koh Samui International Podcast Festival Roadshow. Yes. We're doing the same leg. Very happy that it's worked out that way.

Yeah. Oh, look, I did put in the request and I'm glad that the… To not be with me. So it's all happening. It's going to be exciting. Of course, you don't have to go if you don't want to. But… Yes, people understand the concept of free will, Carl.

Yeah, okay, fair enough. And so that's all happening. Also, just a little reminder that we do have stickers. So we'll have stickers. We've got these... We've sold a bunch of the stickers already. If you want stickers at the live shows, we'll have them there. Otherwise, you can find where to buy the stickers.

They're not officially on the website at the moment. They're at our big cartel page. Oh, yes, yes. So we haven't fixed that yet, but have a look through the internet. Have a look through our social media pages if you want the stickers. People have asked for stickers for years. Well, here they are. So go and grab them. We've got a heap of them, and I'm sure they'll zoot

out the door pretty quickly, so get on to it. Well, littledunumclub.com for all those details, ticket links, all that sort of stuff. We will see you at the end of the episode for Talking Dumb Dumb, where we go through the list of people who subscribe on Patreon, which is something you are very much welcome to do if you see fit. But until then, enjoy this episode with Nick Capper and Anne Edmonds. Hey, mates.

Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo and sitting opposite me is the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day, dickhead. We are back in my share house. Last time people heard us, we were in the plush surrounds of the Grand Hyatt. We can reveal that now. Yeah.

Russell Peters has left the country. We could have revealed it last time. He's staying in room 6969. That's where he was, if people want to go check out where he was staying for a week. Yeah, that was last week. But this week, Tommy, we've got different guests. Believe it or not, we don't have Dilruk on for one week. Yep, that was last week. But this week, Tommy, we've got different guests. Believe it or not, we don't have Dilbrook on for one week. Two great guests.

First of all, great friend of the show. Been a while since he's been on a Studio One. It's Nick Capper. Yay! What a letdown. From Russell Peters to fucking Nick Capper. Jesus Christ. I know, and I got bumped off a line-up for Russell Peters in Perth. From someone who sells out the tennis centre

to someone who begs out the front of the tennis centre. To someone who couldn't get 100 people in a tent. Anyway, it doesn't matter. Good feeling. Also joining us, long time since you've been on the program, from the edge of the bush, it's Anne Edmonds. Hello. Edo's back.

I'm back. Yeah. Suck it. Suck it. Suck it. Suck it. To all the haters, to all the critics, just suck it. To all the people demanding Edo be never on this show again. In your face.

When was the last time you like honestly told someone to suck it? Or suck eggs. Bring it back, I reckon. Suck it. Suck shit is my personal favourite. Suck shit's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you reckon when you say suck eggs, do you think that's meant to be,

like if you're a guy, you're going suck it, as in my penis. Is suck eggs meant to be like the female equivalent? Like my eggs? Maybe. Suck on my eggs. Oh, that's good. Get right up in there. I don't mind that.

And suck on my eggs. I think I've told, I like to tell people to suck my dick when possible. Oh, that's good. Yeah. I tell people to lick my pussy when I'm mad at them. So it's kind of a fair exchange. And also when you're attracted to them. Yeah.

Yes. Yeah. Hey, so. All right, cool. This is just the start. Anyway, keep going. It's going to be kicked off with a bang. Yeah, yeah.

How about a little bit of mailbag just off the top and just to give you guys any ideas of what we're going to carry on with in this episode. Now, you guys, I reckon, you're both aware of our listeners, so the listeners to this podcast. I've met a few. Stay away from me. Do not approach. Well, maybe this will change your mind.

It definitely won't. So we've got a message today. And this is a bit of an atypical message at the start at the very least. Someone says, hey, I've really got to thank you guys. I've been listening to the podcast for about a week now. And I've smashed out about 50 episodes. Wow. Wow.

What is wrong? Yeah. Well, this is a thing that we get quite often where people just find it and then go alright, well let's just binge it. We're a truck driver, we're a, you know, whatever it is and they just go, like I couldn't understand binging anything that much, let alone us. Like how crazy would that make you? So 50 in a

week, that's like, how many is that a day? That's like... That's seven. Seven a day. Seven hours of us a day. That's nearly your waking day just listening to us. Wrong. Yeah, that's a working day. That's an hour for lunch in the middle.

Yeah, nine to five. That's like that person knows you better than your wife. Yes. They just spend more time with you. Yeah, and she doesn't listen to our show at all. So she has no idea what I'm really like. So now, yeah, they've smashed out 50 episodes and your voice are in my ear that much.

It's already fucked me. Great. I was in addition to a party last night where I knew only one other person and I met this girl that said she liked roasting people and she liked to get roasted herself. Now me... Strange.

I hope it wasn't a spit roast. Yeah. Strange introduction into a conversation. I like to get roasted herself. Now me. Strange. I hope it wasn't a spit roast. Yeah. Strange introduction into a conversation. I like to get roasted. I love it. Just fucking let me have, nice to meet you. Now fucking let me have it. Call me a cunt.

I don't know anyone at this party. It's 8.30. There's no Hayat Sade on these days. So can someone just fucking tell me I'm a piece of shit and light this party up? So she liked to eat roasted stuff. Me not knowing anything else about her, I asked for her name as a first roast point, like your Patreon read.

First roast point. Your name, please. So she said her name was Bridget. So I said, well, Bridget, only knowing you for about five minutes, I already know you're a piece of shit, so you should throw yourself off the Westgate, Bridget. So I said, well, Bridget, only knowing you for about five minutes, I already know you're a piece of shit, so you should throw yourself off the Westgate, Bridget. Not bad. Oh, that's not bad.

Not bad. Last sentence, she got so upset she had to leave the party. Hang on, you're not sending messages to yourself. So what's happened here? And that's not even that harsh. Well, I would have, I mean, the minute you hear Bridget, what do you think? Bridget Jones's diary?

No, like as an insult. Where are you going? Well, it's not an insult but like I thought frigid. Yeah. Oh, right, right, right, right. So already he's dumb. Yeah. But that's, yeah.

You're all right. No, but I guess that's a good example of him hearing us for seven hours a day and then thinking this is a natural thing that people want to hear, suicide references. True, true. Oh, yeah. Because that's like when you're a comedian and you spend a lot of time around – too much time around comedians and then you think –

you might have talked about this before but you lose your judgment about what's appropriate. So I'll go from saying I'm going to kill myself around you guys every five minutes to out with my normal friends, I'm like, oh, fucking kill yourself and the horror, the looks of just what's happened to you. I've got the opposite where my non-comedy friends have kind of like sort of been gaslit into this way of thinking.

So it's sort of like it's them doing it to me where it's like, yeah, you'd be wanting to bloody neck yourself after that, wouldn't you? It's like, oh, this is weird. This is a strange friendship that we all have. I had one the other day where I was talking with a friend and a bunch of comics and she was complaining about marriage. And, you know, we all had this funny conversation

that we shouldn't do marriage. What you should do is just hard anal in front of both families and then that's a pure, that shows that you're both committed and the family shows you're committed and then that's it. Hard anal. How do both parties do hard anal? Haven't you heard of pegging? Anyway, instead of a ring, you buy like the nicest strap on possible.

Anyway, then I told another friend this. I was like, we had the funniest conversation. Because we're talking about marriage. And then she just looked at me in shock. Like, why would you ever? You were with a group of people when you had this conversation? Like, you weren't in therapy or anything like that? And I was like, no, no, no.

It was really funny. Like, imagine both families looking at you. It's the ultimate commitment. This is like – so we did – when we did the podcast in Maribor the other week, and you were there. So we did the podcast in my hometown of Maribor, and my parents came along. Oh, your dad. I know your dad. Yeah. Do you? Oh, and my parents came along. Oh, your dad.

I know your dad. Yeah. Do you? Oh, yeah, that's right. Oh, right. Right, so. For context, Carl's dad appeared in a bonus Patreon episode that we did, a call-in episode. Yes, who sounded very feminine for some reason.

So mum, you know, they'd obviously, they don't listen to podcasts. They barely know what a fucking mobile phone is. So they came, they insisted on coming along. I was really like, you don't have to. And so mum had never heard me swear before or anything. And all of a sudden we're up there just saying whatever we want, suicide jokes, whatever.

And at the end I was really sort of like reticent to talk to mum about it. And she said it like three times. She goes, people keep coming up to me and asking me what I thought of it all. And I just said, you know what, it's entertainment. I guess officially that's entertainment. So you don't have to worry about the words that they use. It's meant for entertainment. And she just kept saying, it's entertainment.

And I'm like, oh, that feels like really like, she's like saying like that's the dictionary definition of entertainment. That's what it is. I don't like it at all. I didn't think it was funny. But that's that genre. That's what he does now. It's entertainment.

So she thinks that entertainment is like international waters, where it's like whatever happens under the banner of entertainment, it doesn't matter. It's like pirate radio. Like we could have killed Kappa on stage. It's entertainment. It's fine. It's entertaining.

It's not the case until Harvey Weinstein. Yeah. Look, we'll never have him on again to be fair. So, yeah, that won't happen. But, yeah, I told this a couple of weeks ago on the show and so apologies to anyone hearing it for the second time but i had a recent thing of that edo where uh someone i met who's in first response told me a story that he got called out to a house where someone had tried to kill themselves with a spear gun and had missed and ended up pinning

themselves to the wall oh and i just think that's like one of the funniest things I've ever heard and everyone I've told outside of comedy is like that's genuinely awful and you are a bad person for finding that funny. It's good. It's funny. Yeah, yeah. I remember once I heard on the radio that a girl's parents died in Africa because an elephant sat on their car. And, like, I didn't want to laugh, but then I snickered, you know,

and I think I was in the car with my dad and I was like, oh, shit. Like, he already knows I'm a sick fuck. Yeah. But then he looked at me and he kind of gave me a bit of a smile as well. Like a father-son moment. Yeah. The brutal death of someone else's parents. That's funny, though.

I just want to start at the start of the story. I remember hearing on the radio when an elephant sat on a car. Yeah. What a great story. Why weren't you at this party last night instead of Bridget telling those stories? Have your parents been killed on an African safari? Give us a call. Yeah, what is that?

What radio station was I listening to? But elephants are like big and slow. If you see that it's backing up to sit down, you've got a lot of time to make an escape. You'd think so, wouldn't you? Look, don't dissect a story that I heard third-hand over the radio. Also, like if an elephant runs over you, like they can get fast. I can understand that.

But no one can quickly sit down. Like no one's going, fucking check out how quickly I sit down. Sometimes you're just frozen with fear. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And sometimes they probably thought, oh, look, it's going to acutely rub its butt. I don't think that story's true. Like elephants are big.

You don't believe Kappa can afford a radio? Well, you don't believe I've got a dad. No, but elephants are big, but they're not that big. I saw one. Yeah, right. At the zoo. Like I'm just visualising a car and an elephant. I saw a pretty big one when I went to Africa.

I don't know. I don't know. Maybe you heard just... Anyway, good idea. You know what? Look, I don't know. I'm putting it out there. Can someone else clarify this story?

Was anybody listening to the radio? If that girl happens to listen, then right in. Yeah. You know what? We're going to, I don't know if everyone on this show has heard about this, but we're going to Koh Samui this year. We're going to the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival 2018. And I've been checking the social media feeds.

There's an elephant farm there now. Because, you know, before you're not supposed to go and see elephants because they're all chained up and you've got to ride them. Oh, man. It's all this horrible gear. That's bad. I saw one when we were there and it was the worst thing I've ever seen. What's it mean when it's swaying its head?

Oh, just get on Google. Oh, it's depressed. It's so bad. But this is what I'm definitely going to go to. I don't know anyone else, but they've got an elephant farm there now where they get all the ones that have been chained up or have been ridden for years and whatever, and they've just chucked them in this big fucking theme park or whatever, and they're just running around.

It's still bad. No, it's not bad. It's still bad. How is that bad? Because they're fucked up forever. Like they're still going to be mentally scarred elephants. No, but it's not a retirement one. It's like for any elephants that have been in,

like there's heaps of young elephants there as well. They're not all, I've seen the videos. They're happy. They're looking good. They're happy. I've seen the videos They're happy They're looking good They're happy They're smiling elephants Yes They're running around

It honestly looks good What I was seeing I was like I fucking wouldn't mind Doing the stuff they're doing It looks good We need one for comedians That have

Yeah That think suicide's funny So we can run around And jump in the mud Throw them in a yard They're all mental They don't know any better Just us running around.

Woo, kill yourself. So let's not gloss over you saying, not only do you want to visit this, you just said offhand, you want to be in this farm. Yes. Running with the elephants. They're playing in the mud. You should see the clips. It looks fucking fun.

If you got to be in a big mud pool, that would be fun. Don't you think? Yeah, sure. Well, I am against this elephant farm. However, like there's something fishy about it. Why? But I've got to say, to see you at like an elephant park would be great. Yeah, I'd like to see that.

Like to see you smiling would be great. Well, I can watch the elephants and you can watch me. Yeah. Yeah. Because like the fact that Carl Chandler to say, I want to go to an elephant park for some reason seems totally foreign to me. And it also makes me question. It is because it's in a foreign country.

It's in Thailand. Yeah, you're literally true. Well, you can test this story. Drive a car in there and see if they try and sit on it. Test the validity of the story. It's a new type of reality to it. Speaking of big animals we said Dill's not on this week

yes I met the biggest cow in Australia on Thursday oh how did you get that for the project I went and did a story

TV's the project TV's the project and it was huge was that the whole story that edo meets the biggest pretty kind of yeah because we're like on the plane and i was like what's the story here and they were like i don't know you're already on the plane and you're asking this that's how it works i give you the script there you know i shouldn't go into it but but it was it was huge and i was just obsessed with – what do you reckon I was obsessed with?

Teats. Genitalia. No. It's big nuts. No. It's a cow idiot. Oh, sorry. No, it was a steer.

Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Still doesn't have nuts. It's shits. Oh, yeah, yeah, right. Did you get to see it back out a huge one? Yeah, I saw it do a poo. Fuck yeah. And I saw all its poos around the paddock. It had a, right. Did you get to see it back out a huge one? Yeah, I saw it do a poo. Fuck yeah.

And I saw all its poos around the paddock. It had a good look. Massive. Did this make it to the broadcaster? One of them did, yeah. Really? Yeah. Nice.

Anyway, I just thought I'd throw that in. Yeah, that's good. Because it's a project, did you ask it about a serious issue? Like, what do you think of Manus Island? Ah, Good enough. Back to you, Elia. How is it going? Because, Edo, it's been sort of a – for one of the favourite guests of the show,

it's been a long time since you've been on. Give us a bit of catch-up, Edo. What's been happening? I don't know. You had a TV show on? Had a TV show. I've been on since then. I know I have.

I don't think you have been on since Edge of the Bush was on. Oh, okay. Yeah, I had a TV show on. That went well. But that was a TV show. I've been on since then. I know I have. I don't think you have been on since Edge of the Bush was on. Oh, okay. Yeah, I had a TV show on. That went well. But that was a great show. Everyone that we know really liked it. Did that bring out any new weirdo fans out of the woodwork? Not really, no.

No, I get a few weirdo fans on the old Facebook messengers of fun spot. Yeah. Particularly after I did, because I did Dave Hughes' show, that show where you talk about your problems. Yeah. And I talked about how… That's pretty nice. Hey.

Nothing. What show is this? Apparently it's just like a podcast. That's what everyone's saying. It's just like a podcast. I know. We should do one and, like, maybe we could have, like, some sort of audition tape to send into them.

Yeah. Anyway. Anyway, I talked about on there about going on Tinder, taking myself off Tinder after a guy tweeted my profile out. The worst. Like, hey, found you, Anne, and it was all my photos. Oh, I can't stand that sort of stuff. Oh, man.

But so that generated a couple of things. One was the guy who did it getting in touch with me on Twitter and going, I'm deeply sorry. I was young and impressionable. Young and impressionable? This happened like six months ago. 23 and a half. It's a weird age.

And the other one was because as soon as you announced you're single on the telly, you had a few little nice little. Oh, really? A few nibbles. A few nibbles. Did you get one from a hot kind of like Jamie Durie or something like that? What's going on? Any gardeners hit you up?

Nah. Anyone good? Nah. No, I mean, I would never. I don't know. Like I think as a female comedian, you're not getting anything good on there. As a female comedian, you're not getting anything good on there. The hurdle of that's how they've hit you up, I imagine,

would be a pretty, even if the message was like fine and you were interested in them looks-wise, just the hurdle of like this person's seen me on the telly and hit me up, that's like a big one to have to get over. I agree. That sounds mean. But anyway, I appreciate it. Keep it coming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'd be worse have to get over. I agree. That sounds mean. But anyway, I appreciate it. Keep it coming. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It'd be worse to not get it, but yeah. I remember I had to, oh, sorry. There you go. I remember you asked me to audition for the show, Edge of the Bush. Yeah, sorry about that. Must be nice. I had to play the dad.

Yeah. And you and I had to like rustle around and pretend. Rustle. We were having like a loving moment. Yeah, yeah, we had a roll around. We had to kind of have a roll around. Again, must be nice. Had to be a dad with – oh, you want to ask Carl?

Anyway, I was having more fun than Carl at an elephant farm. Oh, what am I in that scenario? You're the mud. I've chained her up all these years. Let her off into the paddock. You saw my arse backing up. You didn't get out of the way until... I'd like to see that on the roof of the laser.

So what? So you auditioned for this show, for Edo's show and you what? So I had to play like the dad with the dark past. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Obviously. Yeah. And there was this, and we did one, we did the first one and then the director goes, okay, do it again

but a bit more lovingly look into her eyes. And then it was real weird. He's not looking me in the eyes now. We're good mates and we just like rub around and then we did this loving look and then it was too close. I was like, I'm doing this too well, like freaky look into the eyes.

I was like, I hope Edo isn't freaked out. Who was the lady who was directing? Kate McCartney. Yeah, yeah. She said that was really good. And then you were kind of brushing yourself off and you go, yeah, a bit go yeah brushing myself off what because we were rolling

on the floor and I remember you said something like yeah a bit too good did you fall in love with me in that moment I did yeah I did

it was a special moment and yeah so but the dynamic of yeah that you've brushed upon there, because I feel like it's very different for guys in comedy to –

No, but to like – Women in comedy. Can I just ask you a couple of questions about women in comedy? Oh, great. Great, yeah. Great. Can I ask you a couple of questions about being Asian in comedy? Yeah.

No is the answer. Anyway, go on. Next question. Like you're explaining, like it's a bit weirder, I think, from what I hear from you and other girls, to meet guys through comedy than it is for guys to meet girls through comedy. Are you serious? You go on stage and then you're a pariah in the corner

that's just done a little freak show. Right. I remember reading an Oxford study once that did the most unattractive female professions and comedian was at the top. Really? Oh, really? Wow. What was number two?

That's a good question. I don't know. I was too upset. I couldn't read through the tears. Yeah, if you're reading that list and your profession is number one, you're not going to scale down the rest. Like, you've seen all you need to see. That's so weird that that –

No, but I thought maybe you'd look at that and go, fuck, I might change careers. Here's a good way to start. Let's go down – let's go down the list. Everything's going to be better. The guy who tweeted your Tinder pic, he didn't think so. He was like, yeah, check this out, most unattractive profession, but we know a lady that does it and she's single.

Yeah, yeah. Go for it. So does that mean that when you meet people, do you hide the fact that you do comedy? No, not at all. Because I'm very good at it. They already know already. No.

There's no escaping it, isn't there? There's no escaping it. Yeah, there's no option. So you've been doing a character on the, or you were on Get Kraken, the show from the catering show Girls, Helen Bedoo. Helen Bedoo. Helen Bedoo. Has that led to any, what's the inbox like after that character? No, no, nothing really.

Although someone, I put a poster of her online the other day and some bloke wrote under it, nice legs. Oh. What's wrong with people? Because you're, like on the show you're naked, like it's blurred. Yes. They're not my is that an inside secret? They're not

my tits or front. But isn't it blurred out anyway? It is blurred out but they you're saying your tits don't look like pixels. They put someone else's pixels on there. They put another set of breasts and then

pixelated the second set of breasts Wow That is some deep undercover work Yeah I don't know if I should I'll check that one out Are your boobs in witness protection? It's not like this son bloke at home going

Fuck I thought that were real Jerked off over nothing Fake pixelated teeth I squinted real hard I turned it into a magic eye And I saw them Good one E Edo. I'm going to shovel that sperm back in.

Please don't. Shovel. Yuck. Yeah. Let's talk about Kappa's dating. Yeah, what have you been? Who have you been dating? I haven't gone on many dates lately. But today with a friend, I've got a friend and we decided,

well, a whole group of us meant to go, but a lot of people backed out. I don't know why. To do a tour of the Steve Irwin ship, the Sea Shepherd. You can do free tours of it when it's banging. Yeah, right. And, yeah, it was so cool. You go in there and I thought they had a water cannon to shoot the other boats and I was like, could not wait to see this water cannon.

I was so pumped. And then turns out the water cannon had only shot at them and I was like, oh, fuck. But I was like a little kid. I was like, where's the water cannon? And they go, no, there's no water cannon here. That is a weapon. But after I finished the...

What on earth has this got to do with you dating? Yeah. Did you fuck this boat? Yeah. Are you thinking about your water cannon going off? Hang on a minute. Okay. Okay, go on.

Has anyone got any Steve Irwin puns about sex now? Yeah, but after it, because they showed us all this gory video of fishermen and all the – and I was like, I'm never going to eat fish again. And we were on Williamstown and then we walked around for a bit and I had a beer and then I was like, oh, God, I could really go fishing chips now. I didn't want to tell my friend. Is the friend a date?

No, she's a good friend of mine. So we can't get any further away from what we were initially talking about at this point. I'm hoping we get somewhere near a date towards the end of this story. We've been friendzoned by this story. Yeah. Fuck. Don't near a date towards the end of this story. We've been friends owned by this story. Yeah. Fuck. Don't you guys have friends?

Oh, hang on. I'm talking to Carl and Tommy. God, us. Yeah. No, I got married. Remember the wedding that you came to and didn't bring a present to? Remember that? Oh, no.

Get over it. And then I didn't want to, but I was like, and then she said, all this sitting around, you know, because, you know, like we had a real in-depth conversation about fish and stuff and how we were going to, because I studied an Arctic and marine science course not long ago. What? And I was telling her all the.

Is this one of your crazy courses that you just suddenly start studying for two weeks over the internet or something? Yeah, yeah. Because don't you study all these bizarre, weird fucking courses just for something to do? Yeah, I did. Marine and Arctic science was the last one. Oh, no, no, world music was the last one.

And they cost money? No, they're free. All right. Open2study.com.au. Not a sponsor, not a sponsor. So, yeah, so didn't your dad put you onto this and you've just gone through these weird miscellaneous fucking genres and now you know everything about all these weird...

I don't know about knowing everything. Well, you should. You did these courses. Well, yeah, my dad wanted to build a drone that could hold 20 kilograms worth of fireworks. A logical thing to do when you're getting on in life, yes. Let's remember, this still is a story about dating. We're still in a dating story.

This all feeds back into my dad with this elephant sitting on the car. The whole thing. It all intertwines. So your dad is building a drone full of fireworks for fucking some reason. Did he work for the ABC for New Year's Eve or something? What's this for? He wanted to scare the cockatoos off the pecan nut farm. Well, that's the only way you could do that.

Yeah, yeah. So sure. And I get this. I said, oh, look, you know, I said, Dad, does that kill them? Does the fireworks kill the cockatoos? He goes, no, no, no, no, no. I would never kill an Australian native bird. I'm not a monster.

He's like, the cockatoos only scare them and injure them. It just makes them get pissed because then the cockatoos think that it's New Year's Eve and they just go out and fuck with them. Hang on. Was the drone... So once the drone went off with the fireworks and went on fire, then that's the end of the drone? The drone's destroyed.

This is like a suicide mission for the drone. Edda, you're not thinking this through. Somehow the fireworks do not touch the drone. They just shoot them off. Right. He's dreaming. Yeah. But that's like a one-off thing.

And how are they being lit? The lights are before it goes. Don't ask me all these questions, all right? I'm not my crackpot dad, all right? I'm a normal person. Did he pull it off? He's just a crazy pecan nut farmer. No, he hasn't built it yet.

He's going to order one that can, yeah, do everything. But isn't that a one-off event? It can do everything. If you just shoot off fireworks, like New Year's Eve doesn't go for fucking two months. It goes for five minutes and then the fireworks are gone. I don't know. I didn't ask him these questions.

All he's going to do is scare off his fucking dogs and he's not going to have a dog on the farm anymore. His kelpie's going to fuck off. To be honest, when your own father says he's going to build a drone that can hold 20 kilograms worth of fireworks, you no longer question logic. You don't ask him the specifics. Well, this is your own fault. You shouldn't have introduced this by saying it's the smartest thing you've ever heard.

It's completely on you. Wait, so how does this lead to you being put onto Open to study? So he studied drone making on Open Study or something, didn't he? He studied mobile robotics. Right. Of course. For two weeks? Yeah, it takes about two weeks to Right. Of course. Yeah. For two weeks? Yeah, it takes about two weeks to get through the course.

If you power through, it'll take a week. Yeah, right. And then I thought, oh, this would be great. So I took one. And then I thought... On what? In robotics. Oh, you did robotics as well?

Yeah, yeah. So you should know what the fuck we're talking about here then. Well, I don't know how to light fireworks. If you took the same course... I only know that... Yeah, it's just on the robotics bit, not the fireworks bit. I know the rules of robotics. Really?

Yeah. For something to be a robot, it's got to exist in the... It's got to exist? It's got to exist. Wow. I hope that was in the first lesson. It's got to exist in the real universe. Sorry, C3PO, not a robot.

Yes, exactly. Exactly. You're learning, Tommy. Sorry, Wally. That robot in my dream last night, I'm starting to doubt that happened. This sounds like a philosophy course. It's got to exist in the real world. Yeah, and it's got to exist in the actual universe.

And then also it's got to have a specific – As opposed to what? I don't know. So the blueprints of a robot, not a robot yet, okay? Or a robot in a movie, not a robot. So a drawing of a person isn't a person. Oh, yeah. Is that what you're saying? In a movie you could come up with a robot that can okay, or a robot in a movie, not a robot. So a drawing of a person isn't a person. Is that what you're saying? In a movie you could come up with a robot that can do all these things,

but it's not real. It's not real. Yeah. So real robots have to. Exactly. Edo's learning. I get it. That can happen with everything, though.

We're talking about robots. Okay, we're talking. Shut up, Carl. Have you taken a course? No. All right. I bow down. All right.

What are the other robot rules? Number two, it's got to have... Don't get them wet after midnight. Yeah, yeah. It's got to have a specific goal to achieve. Right. An attainable goal. Scare away cockatiels.

Yeah. For example. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And number three, it's got to be aware of its environment. Aware? So most robots, like all robots have senses. Yeah, I see.

Because if it doesn't know the environment around it, then it can't move in that. Is any of this funny? Is this a comedy podcast? No, no, it's fine. You know the vacuum that vacuums the floor without you being home? Exactly. Is it a robot?

Yeah, so it exists in the actual world. Yes. It has a specific goal or an objective. Also, it is aware of its environment because it's got senses. So, yeah, it's a robot. So you heard it here first, that is a robot. Let's do a spin-off podcast. Is this a robot?

Carl's phone, is that a robot? Carl's phone exists in the actual universe. Yes. Has a specific goal Yes Does have a goal Is it aware of its environment No

It kind of is though Like it's got geo location stuff Like it's got GPS But it doesn't It doesn't go Oh Oh Oh

Oh Alright Like a very racist impression you're doing Is that Ronnie again They're not even I know She's progressed very fast I was walking the phone along my leg Going oh Oh hello Hello Like a very racist impression you're doing. Edo's speaking jargon that not even I know. She's progressed very fast. I was walking the phone along my leg going, oh, hello, hello. I guess the conditions, like it doesn't know whether it's hot or cold.

So like when it's hot or whatever or cold. It does know when it's hot. It shuts down. Yeah. Might be a robot. No, but it's not going to actively move away from it or go, oh, look, I'm in a bloody hot place. Get me out.

So movement. You know, it can't sense its own environment. It's like, oh, don't drop me on the – you. So movement's an issue. You know, it can't sense its own environment. It's like, oh, don't drop me on the – you just dropped me on the floor. You know, it's not going to say that. It's not going to react to that. Or jump up again. It can't sense it, yeah. Okay.

All right. So there you go, guys. They're the three main rules of robotics. Yeah. Right. What did you do for the other two weeks? Psychology. Psychology?

All right. What are the three rules of psychology? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I learnt that you have the reptile brain. Oh, yeah. That's like the old brain. Yeah.

But what does that mean? That's like the first. We've got like three brains. Right. Reptile? Reptile. The reptile is like pure instinct, isn't it? Yeah.

It's back here somewhere. Yeah, exactly. Right. And then the robot brain? And then we've got, I don't know the other two brains. All I know is the reptile brain. I don't know the names of the other ones. You learnt three things in this course and you don't know two of them.

Yeah, I wrote all the notes down, but then I don't remember it. He's moved on as well. He's done about eight other courses. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Who needs to know psychology when you know world music? Right, right. So you've learnt one thing out of psychology.

What did you move on to then? Midwifery. This sounds like some sort of bad Adam Sandler movie where you get dared to learn the encyclopedia in two weeks or something. Is it just you looking up different topics on Wikipedia every now and then? Yeah, that's all this sort of seems to be. Well, it's funny because you can learn more about this in my Melbourne Comedy Festival show.

Oh, God. You know some people object to the term world music? Yes. Did you learn that in the course? Yep. Yeah. Why? Because.

Oh, go on. No, no, go. No, let's ask the expert. The expert. Yeah, sorry. The professor. It's one of the three rules of world music, so tell us. Well, I think – I can't remember too much.

I did the course about two months ago. But it's got to have certain instruments in world music, so exotic instruments to be classified as world music. But they classified it as something else. Well, no, I thought it was more a classic Western thing where we go – we've got heaps of different sorts of music but everyone else – Everything else. Like in Africa and stuff, that's just all world.

Oh, right, right. It's one of those ones. Right. Yeah, it's – who was that really good foreign director? And he got an award – he got an Oscar for best foreign film and he said something really funny. He's like, it is great to have the only non-English speaking film to win an award or something like that, tongue in cheek.

It was really funny. Probably not podcast funny but, you know, just really good. Anyway, you were down at the fish and chip shop. Reminiscing about all this. Nearly on a date, nearly. And then I was like, do you reckon we should get some fish and chips? And she's like, I never thought you'd ask. And then so like from an hour from being like, fuck the fishing,

fuck fisheries, everything like that, and learning all about it, I was like there eating a nice bit of silver perch going, this is really good. But, yeah, sorry. That was funnier in my head. How is this a dating story? That's what you said this was. We want a dating story from you and you've given us non-dating story

plus you've given us the history of a lot of things that you don't know. Was she a robot? Yeah. I haven't have. Was she a robot? Yeah. I haven't been on many dates. I remember I went on one once and this girl. Fuck. And an elephant sat on a car. We've heard that one.

We were on an app. I met her on an app. Like one of the few times I went on the app thing. What do you put in your bio? Oh, good question. I'm Nick Capper. Professor. Professor Capps. question. I'm Nick Capper. Professor. Professor Capps.

Student. I just put a fact, I put the three rules of robotics. That usually gets them in. I exist in the real world. I have a specific goal. I'm aware of my surroundings. I'm probably, I'm

not aware of my environment sometimes. You know the Sea Shepherd, right? Yeah. Is that connected to the Sea Shepherd organisation? Yeah. Right. Well, it's the same name. I didn't know Steve Irwin had it.

Yeah, yeah. So my first boyfriend went on a sea shepherd mission about like a month into us being together. Oh, wow. He announced he was going off to find a different whale. Good one. He came back so oily. What?

So oily and like because he was a journalist but he'd ended up in the engine room For a month And then he went to Antarctica It was pretty amazing Because they go down there How long did he go for? Like a month And the only way I could speak to him

Was on this satellite phone That I spoke to him So I spoke to him once during the month It was a Fuck And This is a month into you dating him Yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah He disappeared into Antarctica. That's where men go. That sounds to me like Bridget Bridget now. The coldest place in the world or Edo? Same thing. And, yeah, so he got put in the engine room and, yeah, he came back. Like he couldn't get the grease out for a while.

Oh, God. And he came back, like, bearded and stuff. I was kind of. How long did he last after he came back? Seven years. Oh, really? Oh, that wasn't bad then. No, no, it was good.

Did he get a free sticker to stick on his acoustic guitar? He did. The worst look. Oh. The acoustic guitar with the Sea Shepherd sticker on it. Oh, I've got his guitar still and I take it around with me. It's covered in stickers like

that. I didn't know that was the worst look. You did a, I just remembered this, you did a music gig the other night. I did. Are you planning an escape from comedy? Yeah, you won't even see me go over the border. I'll just disappear. How was it? Great.

I loved it. Loved it. I feel like everyone's got a very love-hate relationship with comedy. But when I think of a true love-hate relationship with comedy, I think of Edo. Yeah, I know. I'm the most negative person in the comedy. Yeah.

I always say that, but I feel like you're very, like even though you, I think you're very successful. I am. And you're very good at what you though I think you're very successful. I am. And you're very good at what you do, but you're still like, this is fucked. What is this shit? Yeah. I remember when I first met you, Edo, and I met you in Brisbane,

and we always talk about this. Oh, yeah. When I took you out for your birthday for your breakfast. Finally, a date story. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Great. Yeah.

Got totally blanked. Took Edo out, bought her breakfast for her birthday. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Great. Yeah. Got totally blanked. Took Edo out, bought a breakfast for her birthday. Oh, wow. And – This is a great story, just you buying anyone anything. Did you buy me – I don't – yeah, all right. I think so. It was one of the few –

Do we need to check the story? I had a job back then, so I think that's when I – You had to order off the kids' menu, but yeah. But it was a – but we were both so depressed with comedy. It was just all about, like it was funny that I paid for the breakfast because we just both talked about how much we'd borrowed money off our parents. Oh, right.

And about, we both swapped stories. I remember you told me that your parents just said, no, once. Yeah, yeah. No, it's over. It's over. That was when I, it was my, it was something like my 33rd birthday and I was sleeping on the floor of some comedian's house up there,

Henry Stone, Greg Larson, who you know, who lived in this big, disgusting ex-convent. That house was, I stayed there a couple of times. It was huge. Huge. But they were basic. So I only took comedy up when I was 29 and before that I had a job, boyfriend, prospects, money, sheets, will to live.

Sheets? On the bed. Nice. Like, you know. Yeah, a normal life. Yeah, and then suddenly I just came to at turning 33 on the floor of that convent on a bed with no sheets. And just like, what have I done? What have I done?

And then I went out for breakfast with you and then I went to the movies. This is a slightly different conversation that we had last week to Russell Peters, but yeah. And then I went out for dinner by myself that night after I'd done the gig, which was terrible, at the Sit Down Comedy Club. And then I went to the movies as a treat and I got into the movies and I was the only one in the cinema. What did you see?

Some Italian shit. I was like, rock bottom. Rocco Bottamo. It's funny how though. Rocco Culo. El Suicido. Io sono Suicido. E passe mia pizza. It's funny how the... It's funny how the comedy, the yin-yang of comedy, though. Yeah. Like, because I remember, I was excited to see her.

I thought, oh, Ann Edmonds, I heard a bit about her. Like, you know. And you did the powerhouse. Bombed. And you just bombed so hard. I thought, pfft. She doesn't need you to say that. No, no, no, but here's the twist in the story.

She bombed. And you were like. Yeah. I guess he knows it when he sees it. I was like. The man in the eye of the hurricane can see him coming. I thought, oh, she's going nowhere. She's stealing my act.

But there is a certain pleasure. Yeah, but for the grace of God, go on. I can see my future clearly. And it was weird for me because I never bomb. Oh, God. But there is a certain pleasure, let's be honest, in hearing someone's good and all you hear is their good. And then you see them and they bomb.

It's delicious. Or especially when someone who you hear is them. And then you see them and they bomb. It's delicious. Or especially when someone who you think is really good and you see a lot of, like you've just seen a lot of gigs in a row where they've been really good and then you see them bomb once and it's like, yeah, fuck yes. It's exciting. It's such a good feeling. But here's the twist. The next night we did another gig and I had to MC and it was some gig.

Are you still buying fish and chips in this story? Oh, man. What the fuck's happening now? I was feeling good, right? This was before robotics when I started to get good, you know. You could say I was quite unaware of my Brisbane environment. My objective to kill was not achieved when I bombed horrendously. You know when you bomb when you MC, you just keep having to go back on.

And you can literally see the hate in people's eyes every time you go, not this guy, not this fucking guy again. And I bombed so – and then you killed. Yeah. And then I was like, oh, okay. Yeah, you knew then. Yeah, she's good. She's good.

And then I was like, oh, okay. Yeah, you knew then. Yeah, she's good. She's good. And then I came to see it sit down. There was some other comic on and you were like it was awful. You were doing this ridiculously sarcastic laugh every time he did a joke to the point where it was freaking him out up the back. Oh, dear.

What's wrong with me? It back like that. What a bitch. You were like, ah, ha, ha, ha. What's wrong with me? It was so good. It was incredible. I was like, yes. Comics turning on comics is. Brisbane for a week will break a person's nose. Oh, man. It's a brutal place to spend more than a couple of days.

Wrong. I love Brisbane, but I understand what you're saying. Yeah, yeah. The open mic scene there is something else. I remember I was like one and a half, two years in, and I thought, you know how you get cocky sometimes? You're like, I'm really finding my voice with this. And I went down to Brisbane for like one day

and I performed in this restaurant that had magicians opening for you. There's always magicians in Brisbane. I know. And I fluked it and it went really good. And the bloke's like, come back, I'll put you on for two weeks, four nights a week. Wow. And then I was like, sweet.

And I went back, bombed so hard every night and they were going to fire me. They were like, no, you're out. And then I took down these hecklers the third night but none of the other comics talked to me. And then when I got these hecklers, I kind of got their respect and they started talking to me. It was like being the new kid at school, like, oh, yeah, this kid's okay. Let's talk to him, you know.

And then I just – Did you go to school in the 1940s in Boston? Yeah, yeah. He was working at a speakeasy. And then I thought, because before I went to Brisbane, I asked Henry if he could film me at the powerhouse and I'd pay him $150 to film this 10-minute spot. Is this the date story?

Yeah. Why are you throwing money around? People will just film you as a fave. You don't need to pay someone $150. And you don't have any money. I wanted a good – I had two cameras and he had the sound line. I thought this is it. This is great. And my uncle came to watch me at the powerhouse and he used to work there

as an electrician. So I was going to be like, hey, man, I'm carrying through the family tradition of upholding the pride at the powerhouse. Bombed so hard. Like terribly. Got it all recorded beautifully, like filmed beautifully, a bomb in front of my uncle. It should be a legal requirement.

If you film a gig, whatever happens, it has to be released. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really have the stakes be as high as they possibly can. Well, speaking of Brisbane, we talked a couple of weeks ago. We are doing a show in Brisbane on… Oh, it's a plug, is it? Well, no, it's a slight plug, but it's more into, it's sliding into content. So it's March 10, Tommy,

isn't it? Yep. We're in Brisbane, March 10. We've got a venue and it's selling very, very well, but then we got news that the venue is closing down. Oh. And so... It's not very good, is it? No, it's not positive. What's the venue called? It's called the New Globe Theatre. So it's not positive. What's the venue called? It's called the New Globe Theatre.

So it's officially closing down in April. So officially we're okay. Officially we're okay. We might need you to hook us up with this restaurant. Yeah. We'll have to have the magicians on the podcast, I guess. That's totally fine. Somehow I burnt my bridge at that place.

So officially we're okay. But I heard word from, you know, because everyone's got my fucking phone number that listens to this podcast, I get this random message from someone going, I know someone who knows someone who works at the New Globe Theatre. I wouldn't be surprised if it goes out of business before that. So just keep aware. Right. So I start to put the feelers out going, all right, well, if we need, you know, somewhere else.

A lot of listeners have hit us up and gone, look, we've got this idea and I work at this place and maybe this place. And so it's very nice of everyone to hit us up. But I did put one message out to a venue where I went, this sounds really good. I'll just touch base and say, look, in case we need someone, we're going to have a lot of people. And again, I don't think this is the place for us in their reply because their reply and i talked about this the other week where when i touched base with the new globe theater their

first response back to me was dear kurt i'm like all right well this is this is not great this this sounds like a joke now but this is absolutely not a joke that happened right in brisbane this second brisbane venue hits me up in reply to me saying, how about our podcast come there? They reply, dear little drum club. Not little dum-dum club, not little drum drum club. Little drum club. Little drum club.

It's like the little drummer boy. Yeah. They don't want the little drum club in. They said no. Yeah, they said no to The little drum club In They said no No They said no To the little drum club I would too I wouldn't want

A series of small drums Being played in my venue Yeah You're right Now that you say that out loud You don't want A little drum club No one wants drums

Anywhere Doesn't matter how small The drums are They're still drums They're still drums They're still loud Intrusive drums And I'm envisaging

Small boys playing them Yeah Or little monkeys or something Yeahisaging small boys playing them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or little monkeys or something. Yeah, hundreds of small boys with drums. It's a nightmare. Are you acting out a theme from your dream book? Yeah. I can't help it.

I did a dream course. A dream course. So what, did these little boys exist in their natural world? Yeah, yeah. What else did you learn? So you did world music. I was just thinking, what if there was a Kurt and he was a part of Little Drum Club

and he wrote a wrong email? He's like, Carl from the Little Drum Club, yeah, put him through. Kurt. What if this is two dimensions fucking clashing? It's slowly opening up and it's Kurt from the Little Drum Club getting into this world. From the Little Drum Club.

Hosted by himself. Just him. Just him talking about drumming everywhere. You haven't made your way into this alternative universe quite yet, I think. No, I don't exist. You haven't got a mention yet. Must be nice. You'll work your way in there hopefully at some stage.

It'll be Brisbane related as well. This is all happening in – maybe there's just a pirate show of us up in Brisbane. Yeah. Well, I'll hit up a venue and see what I get back. Yeah. I'll try and find venue and see what I get back Yeah I'll try and find a venue You go this is Tim The Jemby boy

Yeah And then you're just through Hello this is Tim I want to come up there for my job Someone else did hit me up today Actually saying that they've just booked in For the Koh Samui podcast festival But they did it through a travel agent

And they said Travel agent? Yeah Some people still use them Wow They're hanging on aren't they? Yeah They're really good

I used to work for them I used to work for them What you do is you bring in a price And then they beat it Yeah, some people still use them. Wow. They're hanging on, aren't they? Yeah. They're really good. I used to work for them. I used to work for them. Oh, yeah, that's right. What you do is you bring in a price and then they beat it by a dollar or whatever. Yeah. And then you have got someone to yell at. Yeah. Because with Expedia, you don't have anyone to yell at.

Yeah. You're like, oh, bloody hell, send an email about this. I don't mind the personal touch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go in there and talk to someone about it. It used to be weird when I worked in Moonee Ponds because people with not many teeth would come and drop five grand on a cruise. Moonee Ponds?

And I'm like, yeah. I grew up in Essendon. Yeah. Moonee Ponds is upmarket. I know. Yeah. But it was weird because I'd be like, where's your priorities? Yeah, right.

You know? Get the teeth fixed before you go on the cruise. Yeah, yeah, and then go on the cruise, you know. Maybe, yeah, right. Maybe they're going to get them done in the international waters. Yeah. What, so they can put all kinds of weird illegal tea there? Yeah, put fireworks in there.

All right, we're in the Atlantic. Drop the anchor. Put in the Hollywoods. Drop the anchor and get out the drills. Get the drills going. Yeah. Let's do it. So, no, but someone hit me up to go.

They're at the travel agent and they booked in the flights, Stop the anchor and get out the drills. Get the grills going. Yeah. Let's do it. So, no, but someone hit me up to go there. They're at the travel agent and they booked in the flights and the accommodation at the beautiful Ozo Chuing Samui Resort. And the person who served them, they got a sneaky picture of them. Tim. Nice. Oh, nice. Good.

Good. Nice little ominous. We get a lot of these kinds of things. It's almost like it's a fairly common name out there. But it's a nice little coincidence. Tim exists in the real world. Yes. Has a clear objective.

To sell flights to Koh Samui. And is aware of its surroundings. Is aware of our show now. The travel agent that it works in. Aware. Very aware. Yeah. Koh Samui is going to be good.

What do you think, Edo? What do you think about coming? Yeah, put me on the spot on the podcast. Yeah, maybe. Maybe? Maybe. Everything about it seems like it would be your personal hell. Yeah.

What, trapped with other comedians? Yeah. Talking about comedy? And fans of comedy. Remember that look I gave you in the audition? Yeah. Imagine that in a pool In a powerhouse

Because we haven't booked guests for the Coastal Movie Podcast Festival in 2018 yet No Yeah, so we've got to get it done Well, if you tweet at me, the more tweets I get, the more likely I am to come Oh, really? Is that how it works? Oh, okay All right

Edo's gone viral. It's a popularity contest. All right, we'll get on to that this week. If you want to see Edo in the pool with you. Ew! What? That's what you just said. No, I didn't.

He said it. He said it. He said it. Doesn't make it rock. There's a guy coming from China. Oh, yes. He's a guitar player and he's like, if there's other people coming who

play instruments, we'll put together a Koh Samui Podcast Festival house band. Oh wow. And he's gotten enough interest and I've always wanted to learn the drums so I'm doing it. I'm going to get a practice kit and I'm going to try and get good enough

to do some songs with the Koh Samui Podcast Festival house band. Because you've been a leader of this in the past in like comedy nights where you've been a real let's do karaoke. You organise the karaoke. You've got a great voice. So you chase that down. Structured sing-along, I believe.

Yeah, I call it structured sing-along. Because I didn't want random, no random singing. You didn't want to pay the sweet fee you've got to pay for saying the word karaoke. So the Anne Edmonds structured sing-along. Yeah, so we're reading that and the guy from China, and he's a good musician and everything. He is good, yeah. He's forming a house band.

And so we could actually do like a structured sing-along. Oh, an all-star, yeah, an all-star person. If we get that band organised before we go, maybe we could give them six, seven songs to learn and then the people that go over... As long as the songs that you want to sing are all strictly four-by-four beat for the sake of the drummer who's only been playing for three months, then sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to be carried away, guys. We can find a keyboardist and a lighting technician as well. Well, I want to do a couple of Frank Zappa albums, but anyway, I guess I could slow them down a little bit. No, but if we do that and we can get six or seven songs or whatever it is, we can do a structured sing-along night. Yeah.

That would be amazing. That would be really fun. Yeah. Because there is a pub over there that's near the resort that we used last year for some stand-up where i went past and sort of just said to them hey can they've got a house band there every night and they're a thai rolling stones cover band oh great yeah which is excellent if you want to hear satisfaction in a thai accent it's very nice stuff so we basically got i walked along and went can you kick these

guys out and we can do our show and we'll bring like 100 people and they go absolutely get the fuck out of here ty rolling stones cover band and they go absolutely get the fuck out of here Ty, Rolling Stones cover band and they kicked them out for a couple of nights just so we could come in but they've got the band set up in the pub. Those guys are working on the elephant farm now They're all trying to throw Carl in with the elephants

Just swaying side to side, just depressed So they would, and they loved us because we brought in so many people and all of our idiots drank the place dry to the extent where when the festival was over last year and it was just me left, I was walking down the street and the guy chased me down the street going, do you want to put on another show tonight? So he's very keen for it to happen again.

So we could do that. We could do a structure sing-along night. But I'm excited. Noted. I'm excited to learn the drums yeah you should be a drummer apparently comedians are good at

drumming because of timing oh and bill burr is an excellent drummer oh yes gleason gleason drums yeah you might find out how good a comedian you are yeah or he keeps drumming after Like everyone else stops playing the song

It's like We've given you the light at five minutes mate He's one of these guys with sticky feet He's got sticky drumsticks You just push this button on the keyboard And it plays a drum thing already Yeah Maybe that can be my escape out of comedy

Could be Go across the border Sayonara Wow I'll join you I'll join you in music land Yeah It can be my escape out of comedy. Could be. You've got a drumming. Go across the border. Sayonara. Wow. I'll join you. I'll join you in music land. Yeah. What a sad world where drumming is your escape.

More respect as a drummer from anything connected to comedy. More reliability than comedy. Totally. I guess you could say that of anything. No, it's not that. It's just nice to do something different every now and again out of the comedy world. There's probably a drummer going around, oh, yeah, I'd love to be a 41-year-old shit one-liner comedian.

What's his in reference to? He's trying to slip across the border the other way. Well, guys, I think that brings us to the end of the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Oh, I was having fun. Edo and Kappa, thank you so much for joining us. Little Drum Club. Little Drum Club.

Little Drum Club. Edo, you're doing... Edo just started snorting the microphone for some reason. You're doing some stuff at the Melbourne Comedy Festival. Yeah, surprisingly. I'm doing a show with my character Helen Badu from Get Cracking on the weekends and I'm doing my old show if you haven't seen it already. Cool.

No Offence and Untaken. Oh, wow. There's four dots before the no offence, which is why it took you so long. Yeah, so that's what I'm doing. Come along. And you get that at comedy.com.au or is there an ad at emits.com.au? There was, but it, yeah. I didn't pay the bill. I didn't pay. that at comedy.com.au or is there an ad at airmans.com.au? There was, but it... I didn't pay the bill.

It's gone. Somebody put it up on Twitter. Air Jordan's on there now. Comedy.com.au Nice. Kappa, you've got a show coming up in a bunch of places. Yeah, it's called Nick Kappa's Comedy Robot.

No, yeah, actually I reallyapper's Comedy Robot. No, yeah, actually I really need to sell this. I've only sold eight tickets so far. Yeah, no, it's called Quantum Bad Boy and it should be really good. And where are you? You're in Melbourne and where else? Just Melbourne. Oh, right. That's it.

I did it in Perth. Yep. Man, blew the roof off every night. I had like three to fourteen people coming. It was Man, blew the roof off every night. I had like three to 14 people coming. It was really... Blew the roof off, yeah. Really. You couldn't get an inside room, so you just did it in a beer garden. If anyone could say the reason, yeah, the roof was because the tent flaps were flapping

because we were hoping more people would come in. The doors were always open. Yeah, go check out Nick Capa live at the Melbourne Comedy Festival. And, of course, in April, me and Tommy are doing our respective comedy shows. Mine is Carl Chandler's Shit List. Heaps of stuff I'm angry about. Oh, there's heaps, is there? Yeah.

There's heaps? Yes. Heaps of material ready to go? Totally. Between seven and what minutes? Two hours. I've basically written two shows. I've got to decide which one I want.

That happens. And mine's called Ledger Suit Tommy. Yeah, that's on sale now. Yeah, also our live podcast. But yeah, you've heard all the stuff in the ads. April 1, 8, 15, 22. And you can come to the Drunk Cast and all that sort of stuff. And Koh Samui coming up as well. Yeah. Guys, thanks very much for listening and you can come to the drunk cast and all that sort of stuff. And Kosa Mui coming up as well.

Yeah. Guys, thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mate. Bye-bye. Well, well, well. If it isn't two little honkies who've done it again. Well, well, well. Look who's come crawling back.

It's us. Do you like this, what I've done here? Now that we're settled into this bit of the show, I've fully reclined back on your couch. You have reclined onto my couch and I'm not sure how I feel about that because you're looking a little bit sort of flirty on my couch. You're putting all your flirt on my couch. Remember when you used to have a couch that never got sat on?

Yeah, that's the one. Is this the one? You're sitting on it. And am I now the only one that sits on this when I come round? No, I sit on it. Do you? Yeah. Nice.

Yeah, I like that couch now. It's good. Yeah, it's in a position where you want to sit on it now. Because it's sort of like your TV is at a right angle to it. Yep. So if you want, you can kind of turn your head, you can tilt your head and have a look at the TV. No, but I...

But also, you're facing the sweetest view of all, this ancient air conditioning that you've got in your house. Yeah, the oldest thing in this house. It is very, very, very off-white. I would only say it's yellow. I think that air conditioner predates architecture somehow. Yeah, we built the house around it. That's what happened there.

Yeah, it's nice to have a bit of history. Instead of having some sort of antique vase or anything, we've got that air conditioner. Yeah, it's great. You should rip that thing out and take it on Antiques Roadshow and see what you get for it. Look, if I could be fucked, I would totally get rid of it and get something else in.

But you're in a rental, so you can't do that. Yeah, I'm not going to be fucked doing that. It's not a matter of not being fucked. It's a violation of a contract that you've signed. It's essentially the same thing. So when you move out, they do the inspection and it's like the air conditioner's gone but there's just a confetti cannon in its place.

Yeah, but as if they would be like, oh, I put in a brand new air conditioner and, oh, you're not getting your bond back now. You've never dealt with a real estate agent, have you? They are, and I don't mind saying this on the record, all cunts. Oh. There was a thread in our Facebook group where people were listing jobs that they do, like what their job is. And believe it or not, I thought that sounded a bit boring, so I've never read the thread.

Were there any real estate agents in there? I did read the thread, but I didn't commit every job to memory. Okay. So I don't recall there being. So you're saying officially on the record? Yeah. And let me remind you, you are under oath. No real estate

agents listen to this show. I can't imagine a real estate agent listening to this show. Yeah, me either. I'm cool enough. I can easily imagine a doctor and we've got plenty of doctors. We do have plenty of doctors, yeah. It sort of makes more sense than a real estate agent. Did we ever follow up on that? We were speculating a few weeks ago.

What, you were trying to get free surgery or something? No, we were asking, are there any doctors who listen to this? We thought there were none. Yeah, no, we've got heaps. And we've heard from heaps. Yeah, we've got heaps. Yeah, we get it.

We've all got operations going on. Yeah. Not even committed to that one, were you? Yeah, no, no, no. It's, all right. Anyway, Talking Dum Dum, we're here at the back end of the show. Just trying to think of any other updates that we want to squeeze

into this little segment. I don't think there's any official updates on anything. I think, you know, Kosa Mui's travelling along nicely. I don't think there's any official updates. People – you know, we're hearing from people in the group on social media about them booking in stuff and whatever. But no, I don't think there's any super movements. Oh, I mean, we mentioned...

Oh, we've got a bit of a mention on... We've just mentioned about the band, haven't we? Yes. Yeah, we just talked about that there. Yeah, so that's the most exciting thing coming up. Yeah. Yeah, but no... I've got to get practising.

There's still a few little things to sort of slot into place with the Coast Swimming Podcast Festival. And a lot of people are asking already, what's the line-up? What's the schedule? I wonder when playing times are going to come out. Yeah, all of that. But I reckon that's a fair way away from it.

If we want this to be a real festival, and I'm basing this more on music festivals, we need an app that crashes on day one of the festival and then is never updated. All of the playing times are wrong. None of the maps work. Even though we're in Thailand, the toilets are still better than any music festival. So here at the back end of the show, this is where we talk about Patreon,

which if you enjoy this show for whatever reason or another, probably mental illness, you are free to subscribe to this show to keep it running and it is greatly appreciated by us in here at the Little Dundum Club. And hopefully it's greatly appreciated by you guys because you guys get some sweet little bonus gifts. And by gifts I mean things that you basically buy, so

not gifts. Like a magazine every month, a bonus episode every month. And of course a big chance of having your name rammed into a sweet little piece of technology called the Unplanned Title Alternator.

Should we say quickly that, speaking of the bonus episode, people will have heard the latest one by the time they're hearing this? They'll have well and truly heard it. Yes. So we should we say what we did? Yeah. We recorded ourselves having dinner. Can't imagine that's going to inspire anyone new to subscribe.

No, well, it was fun. It was different because. It was funny. There was, you know, a very kind listener of the show sent us a bunch of money and said, go and have dinner on me. So we went, you know what? That's going to inspire us to do a bonus episode. So we try and do something a bit different with the bonus episodes.

That's what we try and do, don't we? Yeah. What have we what we try and do don't we yeah what have we done we've done film commentaries we've done we've recorded road trips we released a bit of a roast one year we we talked over the top of our own documentary at the national gallery yes and then smashed it together with the vision and turned into a director's commentary so, we've done a heap of different little bits and pieces. So it's always, if you want something different, get into it. I think it's worth it. Yeah, it is definitely worth it. Yeah, you get your little feeling of I've done the right thing,

plus you get something out of it. Yeah. Which is what you really want. Totally. You don't want to just chuck money in and get nothing out of it. No one is that selfless. No. No one has written to us and gone, here's 50 a month and you know what?

Don't worry about the bonus content, boys. I'm fine. The sort of niceness that you need to have within you to do those sort of acts is not within someone who thinks that this show is a good thing to listen to. Yes. Well, I mean, big Richard Hendo, who sponsored the bonus episode that we just did, he sent us $100. Yeah.

He didn't want anything in return. Yeah. He didn't up his Patreon for a month. All right, there's one person. Yeah. One person that's good enough. Well, you know what? Now I'm saying it.

The best person that listens to this show. Right. I mean, Rich Young has given us more. Yeah. But he wanted something in return. Yeah. Hendo, just a purely selfless person. Yeah.

But, look, Hendo did give us a lot less than what Rich Young gave us. Sure. I'm still saying he's the best person. Sure. Yep. All right, let's crack in. Let's get into this bit of software. Oh, we need to set up what we're doing.

We read out people's names who subscribe to the show. Yes. And we give our thanks. Yes. And we do a different number every week. Yep. Every single week. It's always different.

Yep. It's never the same. Yeah. Yeah. I think we're going to start, yeah. We've both said if we ever accidentally do the same number twice over the course of this, we'll both kill ourselves. Yeah.

Both of us. Yeah. To start with, we did say one of us would kill ourselves, but we couldn't decide on which one. Well, the number, you know, we did more and more numbers and then it's like we had to up the stakes. Right. Yep.

Well, i stand by that and if anyone can prove that we've ever done it sure but i'm just glad that we've never done if you want to take us to court yeah where if we lose by court order we have to kill ourselves if you get ordered to kill yourself are you really killing yourself that's a good point isn't someone else sort of killing you? Wow, that's like Schrodinger's cat. Yeah. It's like Schrodinger's bridge.

Schrodinger's noose. All right. I've hit the big button. I've hit the big button. Oh, the big nut button. Yep. Nice. We don't have the adjudicators in this week, which, fuck, was a little bit of pressure

on us. It took a little bit too long last time. Yeah. It was a pressure. It was like, fuck, I can't do that every week. And they didn't want to do that every week, of course.

So now it's just like me, I feel free to rig it if I want, but of course, this is rig-free software so I can't. Oh, you downloaded the

anti-rigging patch. Yes. Good, you got it these days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can't be too sad.

Norton's anti-rigging software. Yeah. First name, Hansi Cronje. Yeah, yep. Here we go. Here it comes.

Number one for this week. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Angus McConnell. Angus McConnell. Yep. Now this is as Irish

as they come. How do you think you'd go through life with a Mac surname? It's hard to say. Tommy McDassilo. How do you think? That sounds good.

I might change my changed name. That's so complicated. Yeah. There's way too much work going on there. McDassilo. Tommy McDassilo. Yeah. Carl McChandler.

That works. That's not too bad. Kind of works. Yeah, McChandler. That's in the same area of the world. Angus McConnell. Angus. It's works. Yeah, McChandler. That's in the same area of the world. Angus McConnell. Angus. It's, you know, I mean, look, I might be wrong,

but that is, you know, you take the G out and you've got anus. Is that what you're copping in the schoolyard? Fuck yeah. Well, for me, it's like I hear Angus, I immediately think Angus Beef, Angus Beef burgers that they sell at McDonald's Then you get to the first part of this guy's second name And blow me down Wow

Blow me down if the golden arches aren't representing Right up the front of this thing Wow this is the This is the shaker fries of subscribers Right here And you're getting I mean your Red Rocket is just Absolutely ready to

Squeeze out a bit of the soft serve If you know what I'm saying And then you get carnal. I mean, what a letdown. What a name tease. Yeah. Okay. Thanks, Angus.

Thank you to Patreon subscriber. And let's see what we're getting spat out here. Now, I'm very, you know what, look, I'm a little bit distracted at the moment, I have to say, Tommy, because my cat has just, she's just figured out how to jump up on the wall and go exploring and fuck off. Is this a name that you're reading right now? Thanks on a wall and fuck off. No, my cat has just figured out how to get up on that wall on the balcony.

Yeah. And she just, within the last couple of days. Right. And it's night time now and she's taken off next door and stuff and i'm a bit worried because she's only kitten still so now i'm a little bit anxious it's not like there's anyone living in this apartment building who's enough of a psycho that would just let someone else's cat into their house treat it as their own refuse to let it out yeah so you've got nothing to worry about as long as i don't live next door to me, I should be fine.

I'm not a cat person. I've never been able to understand this about cats. The thing that it's like, hey, you just let them out and they fuck around and do what they want and then come back. I've never understood how that works. I'm very conscious of that at the moment because I'm transitioning the relationship into that

at the moment. So she's taken off and I'm like, and it's night time now, so they start a bit later when it's dark because there's more interesting things to hide in and fuck around with and whatever. So now I'm a bit like. Go down the pub. Yeah. Get on the pokies.

Yeah, exactly. Get on the dish flickers. Yeah. Yeah, cats betting on dogs. Yeah. I'm very antsy now because I'm like, fuck. She's just disappeared. I'm going I back over her when I leave? Imagine that.

Do you reckon our relationship would be able to bounce back from me running over your cat? I wouldn't. It'd take quite a while. Podcast. If people hear this episode and then the podcast has just gone dark for a month, you'll know what happened. Yeah. Yeah.

Turn the fucking TV off. You told me to turn it on to start with. It was on when we came in. We went out for dinner and we came in and your TV had just been on all night. I forgot. Have you no respect for the environment? I'm a bit rattled. My cat's missing.

A dog got hit out the front of my house the other day. Oh, yuck. And I had to go comfort the owners. No. It was real brutal. Yeah, it was really brutal. I thought you were going to say you had to go comfort the dog. You comfort the owner.

I had to cover the dog's corpse with a sheet. Oh, no. Is that the same thing? It was real fucked. Fucking hell. Yeah. I don't want to hear any more of that. I'm just putting this out to remind people that life is precious.

Oh, fuck. That's terrible. Anyway, speaking of. There's actually worse details in that too Yeah that's enough You're right Save it for a live ep I would much rather hear about a person

Get killed than a fucking dog I think I'm the same I actually think I'm the same Yeah I get You know I get freaked out if I see a dead bird Like yuck If I see a dead cat

I'm like fucking hell That's my day gone It's like if I had walked outside. Like, yuck. If I say dead cat, I'm like, fucking hell, that's my day gone. It's like if I had walked outside and just seen a bloke lying there, just dead, I probably could have gone, well, you know, he probably did some pretty cunty things in his time. Oh, now I feel crunchy. But a dog, it's like. Now I've got to get the cat in here.

Crunchy. Now I'm fucking packing my dacks. Crunchy. Crunch. Crunchy. Crunch. All right. Read this name out. All right. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Ian Johnson.

Ian was the name of the dog. Ah, fuck. Ian Johnson. And what you were jacking when you saw a dog die was just Johnson. Ian Johnson. And what you were jacking when you saw a dog die was just Johnson. Ian Johnson sounds like the name of a character that would be in like a workplace comedy. Do you know what I mean?

Oh, yeah. Like how boring is office life? It's so shit and dull. He is the regional manager, Ian Johnson. Ian is too boring even for that character, I think. You don't want to put Ian on TV. Well, my dad has a really good friend called Ian and he, when I was growing up, he owned a pancake place

out in the eastern suburbs that we used to go to every now and then and just get just as much food as we wanted on the house. Right. So Ian's always going to have a bit of a i'm always going to have a bit of a soft touch for an ian because of that as much it's sort of not as generous a thing as you might think as much food as you want on the house it's pancakes they cost you like 20 cents each yeah but i'm like 10 as if you care i mean also free food is like well you're 10 everything's everything's free to you and look and i'm sure

i've said this before pancakes up there with with Mexican food in terms of cost you three cents. Yeah. For some reason you're paying $27 for it. Well, but for me it was good because like we, like Dad would never let us have, let me, have sweets or desserts or anything. But because he wanted to go see his friend Ian, we'd get to go to the pancake place just to see his friend

so then we'd get to have pancakes. So you weren't allowed to have sweets at home? Nah. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. No soft drink, no chips.

Oh. Dad really militant. Really? Mum would sneak some in every now and then. Right. But, yeah, Dad really not into it. Okay. Never had takeaway, like never had takeaway growing up.

What's it like now? What's he like now at home? Was that just for you? And now that you've moved out of the house he just fuck it's just hjs every night but it's but i've said this before it just it backfires like if you do that to a kid as soon as they get out as soon as they're like you've got your own money it's like it's all going on mcdonald's and chips and coke like i went insane like when i first started getting like my own money so but yeah but you don't like sweets now you don't like lollies and stuff so no i think that's what i did i just turned myself off them in that oh really in that like period after after dad's reign of

terror had come to an end well that's an old trick that's you know what my dad once worked once he got rid of all of his shops and everything and then he sort of just like, you know, and he was too sort of young to retire. So he just sat at home and I think drove my mum crazy and she went, you have to go out and get a job. And he's like, I don't need a job. Do I really have to? And then like just a job come up in a lolly factory.

Oh, fucking hell. He's like, all right, well, that sounds all right. And so went there and then it was that classic thing. They go, all right, you can eat whatever the fuck you want. Go for it. Oh, fucking hell. That's what happens with you. It's like why I don't really like anal anymore. What? I don't really like... I just had too much... So your dad banned you from having anal when you were growing up in the house. No, my dad...

And as soon as you left, you used all your pocket money on anal and now you're over it. Sorry, no. I can see why you've got your wires crossed. My dad caught me having anal. Right. And he's like, not under my roof.

You're going to go through this. I'm going to buy an entire carton of arseholes for you to go through. By the end, I was like. And you just smoke all those arseholes. Wow. What a crazy story. What was the second name again? Ian Johnson.

Hey, I said it sounded like a boring name. I was wrong. Yeah. We talked about sweets and anal. And sweet anal. I was wrong. Yeah. We talked about sweets and anal. And sweet anal. Thanks, Ian. Well, there's even more to do with – there's a bit more to play with with this name. Here we go.

Here we fucking go. It is the mother load. You were playing with two sort of boring names. Here we've got three. Wow. Heads up. Incoming. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Edward Archbold Digby.

Jesus Christ. Fuck. Archbold Digby. Jesus Christ! Fuck. Archbold or Archibold? Archbold. Archbold. There's no I in the middle. There's no I in Archbold as the old saying goes. I would if this was me, I would completely rearrange this name. Is this the first

butler that's ever subscribed to our podcast? I would put, you've got to have Archibald. That's got to be the surname. Okay. Archibald. That's the surname. Right.

Digby. Interesting first name. Digby Edward Archibald? Digby Edward Archibald. Okay. And you change his name from Archibald to Archibald. Yes. I'd whack an egg.

Crunchy. I'm rearranging the whole thing. I'd whack a little eye in there as well., I'm rearranging the whole thing. I'd whack it a little high in there as well. Now I'm hearing weird noises outside and I'm scared. Can you hear that? Yeah, what is that? What is that? My cat's outside. My kitten's outside.

It could be a fucking – what is that? It's like a mulcher or something. Just looking on Twitter, it says there's a – No. Someone from the insane asylum in Hawthorne has escaped. No. Crunchy. Crunchy. Says he likes eating cats. That's why he was in

the insane asylum. Oh, Alf from Melmac. No problem. I kill me. Just don't kill Crunchy. Crunchy. Fuck. I would love to have Alf on this podcast. Don't you reckon? He was a funny guy in his day.

Yes. He's a funny sitcom star. Yeah. Who's the funniest puppet? The funniest puppet? Yeah. Agro. You reckon?

Is Agro funny? Or is he just crude? What's the difference? Good point. Can't. Hey, good one. Like I said, I kill me. I wish you would.

Is that what Alf was doing? Sneaking a bit of suicide gear? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got a little toy that gets crunchy back inside. Who cares? I've used it too many times and now it's... It's lost its appeal. The magic's worn off. It's like me with sweets with sweets yeah it's like you with anal yeah crunchy all right

okay somehow i don't think calling out at that volume from inside the house no is really gonna you go out there and i'll call at that volume, you will hear me. Yeah, but if I'm on the balcony, that cat's miles away by now. No, no, because it's only just within about 20 metres. She can't get down from here. Do you want me to go out and call her? Yes. Will she respond to my voice is the big question. Well, she keeps hanging around you.

She keeps hanging around you. Let's see if we can hear you on this. Crunchy. He's saying crunchy. Crunchy. He's saying crunchy. He's saying crunchy. I think you're facing the wrong way. You've got to face over in that courtyard. No, no, no, no, back there, back there.

She's not on the street. Crunchy. Crunchy. She's busy. She's not ready to come back yet. She's not ready yet. There's a corpse out there on the driveway. It's probably a different cat.

Fuck. Fucking Ian. Not Ian. This is, who's this? Digby Edward Archibald. Yeah, sure. It is now. The sweet anagram version of, yes.

Just change your name to that. You've got to agree with me that that sounds better. No, it's all much of a muchness. There's so much going on. You're right, it all comes out in the wash. There's so much going on. Digby, I mean, no, I mean, Edward's a better first name than Digby. Disagree.

Digby's a dog. Digby's a something. I like the name Digby. There's another guy called Digby, I mean, no, I mean, Edward's a better first name than Digby. Disagree. Digby's a dog. Digby's a something. I like the name Digby. There's another guy called Digby. It's not a real person. No, you can't be real. You might as well be Alf. That's like Alf's brother or something.

Alf's a good name. Yeah. Is it? I think so. Good name for an alien. Thanks, Edward. Or thanks, Digby. Thanks to both. Yeah. It name for an alien. Thanks, Edward. Or thanks, Digby. Thanks to both.

Yeah. It's 2018. Yep. Thank you to Patreon subscriber. Let's see who we've got here. Becca McIntosh. Now, Becca is always interesting to me. Is it?

I don't believe I've ever seen it as a name. B-E-C-C-A. Yeah. I mean, Rebecca's one of those ones where it's like, you know, you can sort of do what you want, can't you? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's very malleable. And it's rare that you see people take Becca as that option.

Yeah. Again, I don't think I've ever seen it in print before, let alone spat out of the unplanned title, Alternator. Becca McIntosh. Yeah, McIntosh. Another Mac. Another life ruined by a prefix MC. I like the last name McIntosh, I have to say.

Always been a fan of it. Really? Always? Always. Do you align it with someone from your past? Is that why? Hmm. Is there a...

Oh, you know a McIntosh, don't you? Do you know Stephanie McIntosh? Yeah. The old Neighbours actress? Yeah. That's why you like her. Yeah. Yeah.

Did you like her? Weren't you in a play with her? Yeah. That's why you like her. Yeah. Yeah. Did you like her? Weren't you in a play with her? Yeah, I was in a musical with her in year nine. Someone brought this up on our Facebook page the other day. I've talked about that in the past. Yeah. She was in year 10 and I was in year nine. She was in Neighbours.

She was like an it girl on Neighbours back in the day. Yeah, we did a musical together when I was in year nine, the musical The Boyfriend, if people know that. Crunchy. And I was her dance partner. And then when I was in year nine and she was in year ten, we did a play together that she dropped out of because she got the role on Neighbours.

Oh, really? Yeah. So you were her understudy and took over? Yes, that's what happened. Right. And then you were waiting for the call to go on Neighbours and be the sex siren on there. Wow.

That could have been me rooting a football player. Nick Revolt. Nick Revolt. Yeah. Nick Revolting. Yeah. Not to you. But, yeah, I was thinking this because I've got VHSs of me in,

there's me in a musical when I was in year seven. Crunchy, Crunchy's back. I'm trying to pull my heart out to you. I'm listening. I'm just going to go and grab the cat. I'm trying to tell you about the time I got, about the time I, I'm trying to tell you about the time I banged Ricky Nixon.

Okay, he's gone outside. He's seen the cat. I've never seen him so happy. I could have locked you out of your own house from here. That would have been great. All right, I've got the cat. All right. Well, I was enjoying it more when the cat was not in here.

Oh, sorry. Yeah, lock it in. Bad Crunchy. Yeah. Where it in. Bad Crunchy. Where'd you go, Crunchy? She got me so worried. Crunchy. Anyway, I have footage of me in Footloose when I was in

year 11, no, year 12 and I have footage of me in a musical when I was in year 7 playing a girl because I went to an all-boys school at that point. Great. I should convert them and chuck them on our socials. Please. Because they're both on VHS.

I'll have to work out how to fucking go and get them digitised, which I reckon will cost a lot of money. Yeah. It's one of those, you know, you find those places where they'll do it but because they're the only person who knows how to do it. Yeah. And it's only boomers that want to do that. It's like, yeah, it's $100 per tape. But if people want it enough, I'll put it out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool. I was in one school play ever and I found it so boring that I dropped out like about a month in. It is really boring. Like for me, like for our school, when you got up to a certain year level, the appeal was that you did it with the sister school because it was an all-boys school. So it was like kind of the only way to meet girls at that age.

Right, yep. But when I was in year seven, we only did it internally. And, yeah, so all the female roles had to be played by boys and you'd audition for just – you just would audition and then the cast list comes out, and it's that, who's been shafted? Right. Who's having a cross dress?

Right. And also, you know, we're all boys school, so it's like a lot of parents that are like, you've got to be on the cricket team, you've got to be doing good at footy, and then they have to go and watch their son parading around up there in a dress. I can't imagine it was too popular of a decision with the parents. And also, like, the thing that got me was, you know, if you did it on show day, you know, you got your play on, you got an audience, that would be fun.

Yeah. I just fucking hated rehearsing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just stopped going. Yeah. And they're like, I stopped going and they were like, hey, do you want to do this play or not? Because we're going to, like, kick you out of the play.

And I'm like, did the clue of me not turning up to any of the rehearsals not make you jerry on to this? We did it. The play in year seven, it was a musical written by our drama teacher and it took place in the 60s, 70s and 80s and it was just all the hit songs of that era. Oh, yeah. Bit of Jive Bunny.

Yeah, played by an all-star band featuring on the sax, Wilbur Wilde. Wilbur Wilde. They got in Wilbur Wilde. Wow. Wow. But so like, you know, this is like 2000, I think, or 1999. So it's like, you know, we're all 12.

Yeah. Like being forced to learn these songs, like Ricky Don't Lose That Number and stuff. Just so it's like purely for your parents to come and have a good time. We're doing all these songs it's like what the fuck making like in-jokes about like political scandals of the time.

None of us know what the fuck we're up there doing. Bit of Catherine Keener. Totally. And the parents are there going fuck how good's this? What a night out. Wilbur's up there absolutely giving it a crack.

Wilbur Wild of old 55, taking it easy, taking a greasy old 55. Yeah. Very nice. Well, thanks, Becca McIntosh, for making us stroll down Tommy's memory lane, his showbiz memory lane, where it all started, where his passion to perform. Under those bright lights where I first got bitten by the showbiz bug. Where you first whacked a few litres of grease paint on your little face.

Yes. I did have to black up in this musical. All right. I've got to find this footage of Wilbur Wild. I'm worried about Crunchy getting out again, so let's just do one more. Okay. Let's finish this.

I'm too worried about her now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. I can see it on your face. Yeah. I'm worried about losing it. All right. Here we go. One more.

Let's go. All right. Last one. Yep. Just to reiterate. Okay. Number five. Yep.

All right. Well, we've had two Macs in a row. This is actually – wow, this is really weird. This is the third. Three out of five, we've got Macs. Okay, right. Interesting. Yeah, yeah.

Very interesting, I think. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Gary McComedy. Yeah. Okay. So... I know, three max out of five is pretty weird. It is pretty weird. Yeah.

And this is also a family that have never donated before. Yeah, brand new family. Brand new family. have never donated before. Yeah, brand new family. Brand new family. Brand new. Interesting. Yeah. Do you – is there any other information attached to this one? What, do you find it weird every time we have a surname we've never had before?

No, I just – I'm curious about this person to know if there's anything more about them. Any reason why they would be subscribing or why we'd be, you know, why we specifically would be talking about them. Well, as you should know, we're using unplanned title alternators so any name can get spat out. But there still must be some reason why the unplanned title alternator picked this name out of the millions and millions of others that it could have.

Why did it pick Becca McIntosh? Because to get me to tell that story about Steph McIntosh. See, everything has a reason. So I'm just wondering if we might know anything more about Gary McComedy. Oh, well. Because, yeah, to me it seems like the software is being quite lazy. Oh, really? That's what it seems like to me.

It seems like the software is really half-assing it this week. On behalf of the software, you know, I'm going to fight for it here because it's not capable of. It can only deal with what's being pumped into it, you know. Sure, sure. It's unplanned. Look, what kind of consumer would I be if I didn't, you know, put this kind of thing under the microscope?

Right. Okay. Well, I would imagine, look, this is my interpretation of when I saw it come out. Just spitball here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is my interpretation, is that, you know, the famous family restaurant, McDonald's? Yes, I'm well aware of it. You've heard of?

Yes. Yes? Look, I would assume maybe, and I might be wrong. Prove me wrong, guys. I think this might be a new chain of comedy clubs. McComedys. Don't you think? So you think this Gary McComedy is the sort of the overseer,

the chief executive officer of McComedys Comedy Club? He might be the Ray Kroc of McComedy's. Okay. So, and this doesn't have anything to do with McDonald's? No, no, no. Okay. It's not called McDonald's. Well, I know, but you said, but you...

It's Gary McComedy. Okay. So, do you know where they have locations? This is... Look, I feel like it's growing. i feel like there's like i feel that way too i feel there's billions of comedy customers served right through this place i would say right i'd say maybe there's even a chance of you know you're not wanting to come and see a full show so you just go through the drive-through and someone tells you a few jokes through the window

and you go on your way a bit happier you got mad at me for bringing it up before. You've just said all these things that are like what McDonald's do. Well, I don't know everything about McDonald's. Sorry for not knowing fucking photographic, you know, everything they ever do. I'm just saying that's the vibe I get. If you ask for the vibe, you ask for some sort of details. You're becoming more like Trump every day.

McComedy. Well, this is cool. Well, I mean, look, I can't believe it's taken us this long to get to this. Are we any chance of getting a gig at this McComedy? We're both comedians. Technically. Are we any chance of getting a gig on the McComedy McRoad show? Yes. I would say

my feeling is no. Probably not. My gut instinct is no probably not instinct probably not but you know the the mccomedy gala do you think no i mean i don't think we're any chance of that i think like a mccomedy happy meal or something you know like a just a cheaper option the m McComedy 60 cent cone. Only kids could possibly be entertained by it. Right, right. Yeah, maybe. Maybe we get a gig in the McComedy's playground. There you go.

Yeah, we aim for that. Build our way up. Well, that'll do, I reckon. Yeah, I reckon that'll do too. We've got to stop doing these late at night. Well, thank you to everyone who subscribes on Patreon for chipping in. We do very much appreciate it. And that is very genuine.

It is wonderful to see, yeah, how many of you value the show enough to support it. So if that's you, you can find the links at littledumbdumbclub.com and also the links to all the live shows, Brisbane, Adelaide, Melbourne, Koh Samui, yeah, the solo shows that we're doing. Yep. Go to littledunlunclub.com. No, it's just.com, isn't it?

Yeah. Yeah, just go there. And you know what? Look, I say this every now and then. Do us a favour. Do this thing. And plenty of people do. But take a couple of minutes out of your week,

and if you really love this show, pass it on to a like-minded individual. We do. People on Facebook are constantly asking for recommendations about what are the best episodes to get new people in on, which this can be hard to come in on, you know, blind. So maybe we need to collate some of these and then do, at the back end of this show one time, we'll do a master list of like here's the top five to get new people in. Maybe we should do a compilation of episodes and people tell us their favourite little scenes,

their favourite little sketches out of it and we whack together a little thing that, you know, you can send to your friend and say, what do you think of this? Yeah, sure. Yeah. But, yeah, look, if you had a favourite episode that's not too insane, send it to a friend. Yeah.

Just give them a little bit of a heads up. Give it to someone who you think would like it. Don't try and, you know, don't go to church on Sunday and, you know, go into confession and pass a USB stick next door. What? What? No, nothing. Okay.

And pass a USB stick to the pastor or whatever and just say, you might be into this. You seem like the sort of guy who'd love this sort of stuff. Probably not. Find someone that's a bit more like you. Well, people always say that they're hesitant to do this, but bring someone to a live show. Like sometimes they get pretty in, but you're also,

you're seeing some big names fucking around and being funny and being off the cuff. You're seeing people off TV in a way that you'd never see them otherwise. Like they're not, like yes, there are bits where it's like, gets a little in, but for the most part, we do try and keep it like, we just want to make it a funny show. That's a very good point you make. If you go to a live show, you're going to see some famous people

that ain't us. So, yeah, come along, you're going to see five. And you know what? I know this is a pretty silly thing to say, but we're pretty stringent with our guests. Like, we only put on really the funniest people don't we? There's no

it would be pretty hard for either of us to go to the other person and say let's get this person on with them being a shit person. We wouldn't do it. Well the non-Anne Edmonds guest on this episode is the contrary to what you've just said but yeah. Okay yeah right well that was you know that's due to our friends at Make-A-Wish.

So, you know, he definitely has comedy cancer, that's for sure. Yeah, we love Kappa. All right, guys, littledumbdumbclub.com, thank you for listening and we'll see you next week. And as we say here at the end of every edition of Talking Dumb Dumb, see you mates! I don't know what happened then.