The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 389 - Live! Agro, Becky Lucas & Nick Cody

Episode Date: March 20, 2018

We're live in Brisbane to a huge, sold out crowd! We duck out of the porno shop for just long enough to chat "the list" with NICK CODY, hear from BECKY LUCAS about her personal history with the venue that we're in, and then AGRO takes over and destroys our childhoods! Enjoy this one with a cold can of soft drink.This episode is brought to you by Dilruk Jayasinha and his new show Bundle Of Joy! March 28 - April 22 at the Swiss Club. Head to comedy.com.au for more info and tickets!Don't forget, we have a bunch of huge live shows coming up:MELBOURNE: We've got a month of awesome live shows happening for the month of APRIL. KOH SAMUI: The Koh Samui International Podcast Festival is happening again in 2018 with guests The Dollop! JUNE 13 - 18. For tickets, merchandise, links to our Patreon and heaps of other stuff, head to our website: littledumdumclub.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. This week on the Little Dumb Dumb Club, the first of our huge episodes live from Brisbane with guests Nick Cody, Becky Lucas and Agro. Yes, actual Agro. The real, like, worth pointing out because people, you know, at home can't see the actual puppet. Yeah, and I think I actually said it in the episode. I think when I introduce it, you hear people go, oh, yeah,

and then I go, no, this is actually him. And then they go, oh, fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, it's a great episode. First of all, though, we need to let you know a couple of things. First of all, this episode of The Little Dum Dum Club is brought to you by Dilruk Jai Singer. Wow. Any comments on that?

He is taking some money out of that buffet budget to chip in. Wow. He is. He is these days, yeah. So we've got to let people know about he has a little comedy show going on at the moment. It's called Bundle of Joy. It's on at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival

from March 29 until April 22 at the Swiss Club. Now, wonderful restaurant in the Swiss Club. They do, like, I'm serious. Yeah. Yeah. So that's going to be a real test for him every night. Yeah. So he chose his own venue then.

Is that what you're saying? I'm saying, yeah, definitely. Right. That's his rider. He needs a restaurant. He's on at the Swiss Cheese. The Swiss Club, appropriate for his comedy because there's a lot of holes

in his material. Got there eventually. I was going to say, the Swiss, he's not neutral with his love of food, that's for sure. So yeah, it's at 89 Flinders Lane between Russell and Exhibition Street, so you can get tickets from comedyfestival.com.au. Yeah, you guys get it.

You're all big fans of Dilruch. If you haven't seen one of his shows before, go check him out because he's great. He's the number one. I think someone made a list. He's the number one most appearances on this show as a guest. Does this count as one? No. Really?

Yeah, I'm not letting this. It should count as like 0.5. He's not on it. But he's paid for this. Yeah, but so what? That doesn't mean anything. It should count for something. If I give $5 to Jimmy Fallon as I see him down the street

and then he walks into his show and does his show, is that an appearance for me? If he talks about getting the $5, then yeah, you'd share that as if you wouldn't cut that up and share that around on the socials. Yeah, but I wouldn't say I was on it. Yeah, I don't know. I think you'd share that as if you wouldn't cut that up and share that around on the socials. Yeah, but I wouldn't say I was on it. Yeah, I don't know. I think you'd find a way to capitalise on it. I'll put it this way.

You'd be stupid if you didn't try and use it in some way. Look, I would count it, but he shouldn't count this. Weird for Jimmy Fallon to just... So some stranger, some peasant on the street hands him $5 and he accepts it. That's weird of him. Yeah, and that's why he should bring that up because that's an interesting story. It's more like it backfires because the audience are going,

what are you taking $5 off this bum for? You're a piece of shit. Still interesting, still funny, and I've made an appearance on the Jimmy Fallon show. Well, there you go. So yeah, Dilruk Jaisingha, his show, Bundle of Joy, 29th of March till 22nd of April. More details can be found at comedy.com.au. Go check him out. Of course, me and you, Tommy, we have shows coming up as well.

We've got our solo shows. I've got Carl Chandler's Shit List. Bundle of Hate. And you've got? Leisure Suit Tommy. It starts very soon, the 28th of March until the 8th of April at the Coopers Inn. Yes, I just did it in Adelaide and thank you to everyone who came out

and saw me do it there. That was a very nice evening and yeah, really excited about the show so come check that out. And of course, Melbourne this is, you're about to listen to the first of our live shows that we do around the country at this time of year. There's a bunch of them to come.

It's a corker. I reckon this is a real ripper. We're on tour at the moment, aren't we? Yeah. On tour. We're on tour in our own town at the moment. Yeah. But so you're going to hear a bunch of them over the next couple of weeks.

Now, this is your time to come to Melbourne. If you're coming from Melbourne or you live in Melbourne, this is the time to go and get your tickets. Of course, season passes are still available, which guarantees you entry into the, this is the time to go and get your tickets. Of course, season passes are still available, which guarantees your entry into the drunk cast at the end. But the four Sundays in April, we are doing shows April 1st, 8th, 15th and 22nd. So this is the time to get your tickets.

Get in. We've got some superlative guests lined up. So this is heaps of fun. And then on top of that, you can see our little solo comedy festival shows as well. And if you're listening to this episode and you live in Melbourne and you're thinking, oh, there's all this visual stuff going on, don't add us. Don't send us messages on social media. If you live in Melbourne, just buy a fucking ticket so you can be part of it.

There you go. Problem solved. Exactly. Awesome. So let There you go. Yep. Problem solved. Exactly. Awesome. So let's get into the episode. We just, one tiny little thing, which is, of course, we mentioned last week, but STA Travel, we have a little partnership with them at the moment. So if you're going to Koh Samui, and you know what, if you're going anywhere at the moment, if you hit them up, if you, you know, you know what you can do, you can go and find

your own quotes of where you want to go like flights or accommodation or especially travel insurance you can then hit up sta and and they will know that they've you've come to them from the little dum-dum club by calling this number 1-300-886-557 that is 1-300-886-557 or if you email them on tlddc.au, so that's thelittledumbdumbclub.au, tlddc.au at statravel.com. If you hit them up with anything you found online, I think they match it. Oh, wow. And it means that they know that you're coming through this podcast,

which helps us out a lot and keeps this little sponsorship thing going. So, you know what? It's the same thing as going through anyone else, but these guys are helping us out. So do us a favour and help them out for doing the right thing. Yep, cool. So, yes, we'll be back at the end of the episode for another rendition of Talking Dum Dum.

But for now, enjoy this episode live in Brisbane, Nick, Cody, Becky Becky Lucas and Agro. Hey, mates, welcome. Want to get into the little Dum Dum Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. Can we get a bit more volume on the mic, please? My name is Tommy Dassler and standing next to me is the other half of the show, Carl Chandler. G'day, dickheads.

Oh, man. Marvellous stuff. You know what? Fuck. Sydney Opera House seems like a long way away now, doesn't it? Now we're in the Brisbane Cockroach House, so... We're in a room that's a cinema that even the owners of the Crazy Horse Corporation would look at and go, this is fucked. This is too much semen even for us.

When we found out that this place was condemned, it was going to be condemned in like two weeks, I couldn't believe it because it looks condemned now. They need a word that's above condemned. Condemneder. It is. And look, you know what? We booked these venues sort of from Melbourne because we don't live here.

No big deal. But we are from a proper city. We've all got stuff going on. Not living here. No, I fucking love Brisbane. But you have to book these things sight unseen. So we didn't know where it was. Gee, it's a nice area around here. Yeah.

Now the listener at home may be able to tell from that reaction that it's actually a bit of a shithole. Yeah. So this venue, we are next door to a KFC and across the road... That is, to be fair, that's the best thing this joint's got going for it. Yes.

Next door to a KFC and across the road from a fucking porno shop. Carl, we're home. But there is one very impressive thing about what's going on in this area, and apart from the porno shop. I mentioned the porno shop. Yeah. The giant erection that I got from just walking past the porno shop. Yes, but the porno shop has The giant erection that I got from just walking past the porno shop. Yes, but the porno shop

has got a vending machine built into the front of it, where if you're going in for a crafty wank in the back, you can get a Pepsi on your way in. There's a vending machine built into your porno shop. I guess you think that's normal. Explain to me what exactly is crafty about wanking in a shop

that says porno on the front of it. Well, a lot of people think it's a Fanta shop apparently because of the vending machine. But the vending machine in the... Can't wait to bust a nut at the Schweppes factory. Oh, fuck yeah. Look, you guys are looking at me like I'm the weirdo. But in Melbourne, you can't get an anal movie and a Fanta within two seconds.

Everyone in this room has contracted HIV just by their mere presence in here, by the way. So, yeah, shout out. Yeah. Finally, a bit of a plug for the old Hiv. Nice one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you bit of a plug for the old hiv nice one but you can get a Sprite on your way home though so that's the good news so fuck it's so good though like the vending machine like all the cans in the front of it are just like they're basically white like they've been sitting there for so long that they are just

bleached by the sun they've got like Warwick capper of soft drink just fucking gone they've got like tab and mellow yellow in the front of it. And there's a sign on it saying cans at $1.50. It's like genuine fucking 1982 prices. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Clearly because no one who runs the thing can work out how to fucking update the cost, but yeah, yeah. Fuck, it's good though.

Like you'd have to pay rental on that rental space though. Like what are you paying to get soft drink out the front of a porno shop? Like that's, like it's $1.50. That means that it's cheaper to get a Coke than to get a peep out the back because they're like $2 peeps, aren't they? Well, I noticed like as I walked past. That's a good evening out. Huh?

I went and got a drink for $3.50. One of your famous combos, please. I'll get the very McHappy meal, please, guys. We, yeah, now you may have heard on the podcast recently, we did have some concerns about whether we were going to be able to do the show here. Yeah. Is that fair to say? able to do the show here. Yeah. Is that fair to say?

That's very fair to say. Yeah. So we found out, what, that this place is going to get knocked down in two weeks or whatever's going to happen here. It's all over here in two weeks. We're one of the final acts to play here, which I think is the mark of a very good venue. Actually, I think they condemned it straight after we did the booking. Now I'm thinking about it, but yeah. So we did do a bit of emailing,

trying to find an alternative venue that we might be able to get in if the worst happened here and, you know, something happened and we weren't able to do the venue. So, look, it's worked out for the better. That's fine. And that's good because none of the other venues that we emailed were into it. So I thought now I'd share some of the correspondence that we got. Okay.

Do a bit of mailbag from venues that we hit up. Here's the first one. Dear Tony and Kurt, Thank you for your inquiry about performing your podcast here at Warner Brothers Movie World, Hollywood on the Gold Coast. Hang on. Did they say yes or no? Don't jump ahead. Oh, okay, right.

While we were intrigued by your proposal of doing the podcast while strapped into the lethal weapon ride, we had some concerns about your other ideas, including having Porky Pig as a guest on your podcast. We listened to some of your episodes with Dilruk Jai Singer and Brett Blake, and it's clear to us that you only want Mr Pig on your show in order to fat shame and tease him about his speech impediment. Mr Pig, that's very nice.

As he would say, get fucked, cunts. I haven't read any of this. This is good. We're going to have to deny your venue request at this time. May we, however, suggest that a more appropriate venue for the podcast might be our neighbours at Dreamworld and their Thunder River Rapids ride. Did you hear that, Tommy?

That is just soon enough. Looks like we have some fans of reading The News from a year and a half ago. Hey, no-one's here that died from it, so... OK. Except for that person right there. Yeah, they didn't make it. Carl's pointing at a corpse that's on the floor of the venue.

Yeah, but thanks for coming. Here's another email. Dear Timmy and Crane, hello. This is Bernard Fanning, ex-lead singer of popular early thousands band Powderfinger and current frontman of Bernard Fanning's solo. I have to be honest, I'm not quite sure why you hit me up to ask about a venue for your podcast.

Powderfinger is a successful ARIA-winning band, not a venue. And sure, I was impressed to hear 30 times in the space of one email about how one of you is friends with the Avalanches, but that does not really change matters. Do you know them as well? Now if you'll

excuse me, I'm off to a Stussy Warehouse sale with my daughter Jenny. I really am quite the rad dad. Yours sincerely, Bernard Fanning. Dear Toby and Kyle, Stefan here. I'm predicting that the audience went berserk when they heard my name just now, which must have been very confusing for you. I'm chuffed that you're keen to do a podcast

on the top of the Sky Needle. I was about to offer you the spot and then I watched clips of the two of you doing stand-up and now I'm worried that you'll jump off the top of the thing. Good luck in all your future endeavours, which is, of course, one of my classic Stefan catchphrases. And then this final one, dear Tommy and Carl, selling tickets in a city doesn't mean shit if you have no

venue to perform in. Suck shit. Sincerely, the entire city of Adelaide. So good of them to check in. I think Brisbane is now the number one dum-dum city, I reckon. Can we go? I mean, this guy's opinion is a little bit biased, I have to say.

Oh, no, I think they're fair. Who thinks Brisbane's not very good? Get out of my town. No, this is great. There's upwards of eight people in here. This is awesome. That's double what we've sold you nowhere. No, it's is great. There's upwards of eight people in here. This is awesome. That's double what we've sold you nowhere. No, it's fucking great.

So, like, we've sold out this little theatre and it's an old cinema. Has anyone seen a movie in here? Oh, really? So, not that long ago or recently or recently? What did you see? Who cares? What did you see? Who cares? What did you see? Sorry.

What did you see? Hang on. Just in case it didn't get picked up on the mic, you came to see Surf Nazis Must Die and they didn't show it. The guy who was running the event didn't make it. Why is this place closing down? I can't believe it. The guy who was running the event didn't make it. Why is this place closing down? I can't believe it. Very strange.

So we thought maybe... We were trying to think of what movies they could have played during our show. Wait. So... Wait. You turn up to see this... So what happens? You turn up...

Did they show anything? No. Hang on. So you turned up. You paid your money to come and You turn up. Did they show anything? No. Hang on. So you turned up. You paid your money to come and see a movie and then they didn't show a movie and then you went to get a lift over the road and then thought, while I'm here, I'll go and see another movie. I thought you meant lift like lift in a car.

I was like, it's fucking not Dilrub. Yeah, yeah, sorry. It's a lift across the road. So there was no movie played? You paid your money and you got no movie and that was it? No, they told us that we could come back just for a... Are you getting in for free to this because you fucked up that movie? Do you think this is a movie?

Oh. Yeah, right. That's fair. I love the... There is a weird version of that. It's called a play. The actors in plays don't traditionally call the audience cunts in the middle of it, though.

Well, I have a different interpretation of Shakespeare. To be or not to be a dumb cunt. I love the idea that they fuck up the scheduling and you come back to see Surf Nazis Must Die on the day it's being condemned. You know, just a bit of population thinning. Just a whole bunch of real arthouse nerds getting fucking... Anyway.

People dying is funny, I guess, is what I'm trying to convey to you. Yeah. It's a law of diminishing returns. You did the dream world thing before and they love that. I also looked on Stefan's Wikipedia page for all of two minutes, so I should be able to coast on that for a few more minutes, realistically. Well, hopefully, I just thought maybe there could be... We could have, like, a triple play,

a triple feature after our show tonight. We could play Dumb and Dumb Cunter, Tie Hard, and Sperm Actually. That's good. I spent five seconds on those jokes. Alright.

Yeah, fuck you. Fuck you's a clever parody of something else. All right, should we get our first guest out here? Yes, please. Folks, please welcome back into the Dum Dum Club, great friend of the show, Nick Cody! Oh, hello. How are we doing? We good?

I've got something here for a man whose list my name was on. I thought... Oh, you've got... Hang on. Have you got my wedding present? Mate, I've got you a wedding present. I... Sorry. It's embarrassing. Mate, I've got you a wedding present. Sorry.

It's embarrassing. It's embarrassing that I even had to ask that when I saw that gleaming plastic bag. Man, you're not going to believe this. I had it nicely wrapped and it tore in my luggage on the way up and I didn't check but I don't think Brisbane sells wrapping paper. I think that's something. Do you want to have a look at your little prezzie, mate? Thank you.

Wow. I'm sorry it's a bit late but it's something. Two little gifts that I think you'll thoroughly enjoy. I barely noticed. It's fine. One thing I do say about Carl, he does not hold a grudge. That's why I like this man so much. Oh, hang on.

First of all, we've got an Ozo Chiweng Samui stubby holder. Yeah. Wow. That, let's put on the record, was complimentary last year at the Coast Samui Podcast Festival. I stole it. So less of a compliment and more of a fuck you. Yeah.

And this T-shirt, I just thought I wanted you to get something you'll never get. I had to look so hard to find this. What do you get? The man who has everything. Yeah. Right. Okay. I've got a T-shirt.

I'm just unfolding it. Here we go. It's a T-shirt from the Comedy Festival Roadshow that you get when you... And on the back is a list of all the names that aren't me. It was hard to find. Thank you very much for the reminder of my failures. Happy wedding, Carl. Yeah, thank you.

The stubby hole is for Diane. Don't fucking say her name. Oh, I wrecked it. I wrecked it. Is her name on the back of the T-shirt? Why not? It's everyone else's. It's the both of us.

It's everyone else's. It's the both of us. You're saying her name is spoiled and otherwise perfect present. Hey, you've got a card here and it says, see, something's crossed out down the bottom. It says, from Dave Callan, and you've just scribbled over that. Who's still on your list? All right, yeah, yeah. All right, so now that...

Now that I'm sorted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now that I've elevated you to number one best friend again. So the people still on the shit list that no one's allowed to go and see do comedy ever again are Dave Callen. Oh no.

I forgot Carl's wedding present. That's unfortunate. Fucking Scottish cunt. I left it at Danny McGinley's house. At my home in Glasgow. Did we talk about this yet? Have we talked about the Danny McGinley thing?

About Dave Callum? Oh fuck, I forget what you've heard and what I have in there. I forgot, fuck. I forget what you've heard and what I have in there. I forgot. Sorry. Sorry. It's awful when people forget things. So.

Who is it? Nick Happer. Fiona O'Loughlin. Xavier Michaelides Is there anyone else? Fiona really doesn't want to give you a gift She's fucked right off to get away from that Dave Callan

Maybe that's it Is there anyone else? Oh, David Quirk Yeah, I think that's it Capa Who said him? I said Capa You forgot it, you fucking idiot Smells like Capa in here think that's it. Kappa. Who said him? I said Kappa. You forgot it, you fucking idiot.

Smells like Kappa in here. That's cool. Yeah. 4D. Weirdly, why are people not okay with body odour jokes? I think they're okay with it. Oh, you all stink. Okay.

Yeah. Right. But the thing is, We make jokes about Dil Because we go Oh Dil's fat And everyone looks at him And goes Story checks out

But I don't think anyone here Has smelt kappa yet So when In the next 12 months In the next 12 Wow Hang on Hang on

Hang on Kappa seems to have slept With everyone in this room I thought it was Someone could smell kappa From here That's all In the next 12 months Go and smell kappa from here. That's all.

In the next 12 months, go and smell kappa in some way and then next year we'll come and make those jokes and you guys will go, fuck, they've done it again. This is good. What a gift you've given your city, Carl. Go have a whiff of our stinky friend. As mayor of this city, I pledge an open bin on every corner. A roll-on bin. You know what I think?

And you know what I think people are touchy is because, like, you know, like, body odour people are like, that could be me and I don't know. Yep. You know what I mean? It's like everyone here is going like, fuck, maybe I'm kappa. And I've got news for you, you all are. It's disgusting.

No. No, yeah, no, that is scary to find out. Is it? Yeah, none of us. That you're kappa. No, no, no, that is scary to find out. Is it? Yeah, none of us – That you're Kappa. No, no, no. Oh, no. That would be horrible.

Let's all be truthful to each other. None of us are Kappa, are we? No. We're all good, aren't we? What? None of us are Kappa. I'm Nick Kappa. No, but none of us are Kappa, are we?

Yeah, but I'm Nick Kappa. I'm saying I'm here right now. That's appropriate because that impression stinks. Chando, he's done it again. Having a 69er with a piece of rotting fish smells fantastic.

Speaking of, let's get our next guest out here. Folks, please welcome back into the little Dunham Club, Becky Lucas. Yes! What's going on? Finally a second piece of eye candy up here. Hey. Oh, that got nothing. All right. Yay! What's going on? Finally, a second piece of eye candy up here. Hey! Oh, that got nothing. All right.

If you'd been invited to Carl's wedding, do you reckon you would have gotten him a gift or would you have forgotten? I can't believe you didn't invite me. You said you didn't invite me because I was in Edinburgh. That's not true. But weren't you in Edinburgh? We're close.

Yeah, well, you can come to my next wedding. I was genuinely annoyed. Were you? Nah. But it's just a party. That doesn't matter. It's just a party. That's what I would like to hear.

I didn't invite anyone interstate because it's like, well, who could be fucked? Well, I would have. I came back from overseas, you cunt. You put me on a list. All right. Fair enough. That deserves this present. You've got the list of the top 20 shit cunts who didn't get your present. Yes.

I want to hear the list of the top 20 people who are shitty that they didn't get invited to your wedding. That's not bad. Yeah. Yeah. All right, you go and source that, Becky. Yeah, I will. You and who else?

Cameron James. Really? No. Who's he? He's not canon in this show. Oh, right, right, right. Sorry, I forget who the players are. Hey, quick story about Globe Theatre.

Years and years ago I came on a date with someone who I liked for ages. It was my cousin's friend and I was so excited. And then he told me he was gay. And then also asked if he was gay. And then also asked if he could still stay the night at my place because he just wanted to be held. And then halfway... What movie did you see?

Skipping over the good bits of the story, Becky. Fuck. Popcorn. Was it Surf Nazis Must Die? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What soft drink did you get after the date? No, this is a music venue. We were here singing like a cool indie band. And then he asked me for a cold towel in the night.

What? He's like, I'm really hot. Can you get me a cold towel to drape over my face? And I was like, well, one of us should be wet, I guess. Well, one of us should be wet, I guess. That's my only memory of this place. But, yeah, I'm sad it's shutting down. It's not even about this place. It kind of is.

I also love, Becky, that you're so sweet, that you've gone on a date with a guy, you find cute, you've wanted to go on a date with him for a while. At the concert he says, actually, I'm gay, but can I stay at your house? And you're like, all right, why not? You know what I mean? It's like at that point you'd be like, get the fuck out of here.

Totally. No, I love gay rights. I'm an activist. Except I accidentally voted no in the gay marriage. Because I thought it was no, we shouldn't keep banning gay marriage. I got confused. They didn't pick up your sarcasm. It ticked now and then in brackets wrote eye roll.

Excellent. Yeah, I put an emoji in the box. How much clearer can I fucking be? Wow. All right, is this it? Did we introduce our third guest? Yeah. Yeah.

Fuck, this is so exciting. Shut up. Wow. All right, is this it? Do we introduce our third guest? Yeah. Yeah. Fuck. This is so exciting. Shut up. Guys, we've been after this person for quite a while and this is the most excited I've ever been about a guest. So please welcome our third guest to the stage. Give it up for Agro. Agro.

Love you, Brisbane. Yeah, you win the world to me. Okay, I've got one question. Go. Who's the freaky little puppet second from the right? Man, I've seen some scary stuff in my time. There's one difference between me and you, Tommy. Yes?

I'm tighter. Fuck. Financially or? I think everyone. I want to shift things around. Nick, can you swap places with Beck, please? I'm used to having the lady beside me. Nah, we're good.

We're good. Are you looking for Becky to fill that Anne-Marie, Ranger Stacey role? Yeah, I'm kind of used to Ranger Stacey and Anne-Marie being to the right. Nick, can you fix me arms up? I don't look real, mate. I think we can all agree Dil won the weight loss challenge. He is... He is looking good.

Lomas, you are finished. Well, I've been sitting here listening to your bag, Brisbane. It gives me the shits. No, we love Brisbane. We love Brisbane. We, you know, this is... That's not what I was hearing. Melbourne this and Melbourne that.

Melbourne something else. No, we genuinely love Brisbane. You know what? We've been trying to get you aggro for years. I've been sending emails. Fuck knows who they've been going to. Yeah, I understand that, but there's something you've got to understand, Carl.

I'm not real. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, please. By the way, Carl, this is Dave Callen's wedding present to you. A new bath mat for you and the missus. Oh, wow. There goes that freaky puppet again. What's that one's name?

Oh, man, what a fucking absolute honour to have you on, Agro. Like I said, we've been trying for years. Where have you been? Where have you been? I've been in a bag at Channel 7, pal. All right, mate, we've all got shit going on. Yeah, mate. 50,000 show bags at the Brisbane show.

50,000 show bags at the Sydney show. 50,000 show bags at the Melbourne show. 50,000 show bags at the Sydney show. 50,000 show bags at the Melbourne show. 150,000 agro show bags. Ah, the agro show bag. 80 cents worth of value for just eight bucks. 19 show bags at the Adelaide show. Is the agro show bag code for cocaine? Nah, sometimes I used to sell them with nothing in them.

Fuck. Nah, sometimes I used to sell them with nothing in them Fuck It's, um, thank you so much for launching you Are you getting uncomfortable, Carl? No I'm getting stuck Are you feeling a credibility loss, Carl? I don't know why you're working with Tommy. Oh, this is everything we wished and more.

This is... This is... How much for a hair transplant, Agro? You can swap, that'd be great. Yeah, it's a personality transplant. You need power. You know, seriously, if I looked up shit for brains in the dictionary, your photo would be right beside that. Wow, I really do feel like I've got a hand up my arse right now, I have to say.

He got you, dude. You know, if I went to do that, all I'd find would be a three-corner tear. Oh, man. Just... This was like when the guys from Cheese TV bashed me. I feel like this is being... It's like being raped by one of the mulligrubs. Fucking hell. Hi, Bec.

Hey, Agro. How you going? Agro's looking at me. Yeah, which is amazing because I can't see a frigging thing. You want me. No. I don't want to be cruel, Bec, but I might be short-sighted. I'm not desperate.

I'm going to put your arm back on. Thank you. You little cunt. I cannot... I'm never copying abuse for being a cunt ever again on this show. Fucking hell. This is awesome.

I feel like I'm talking to me or something. This is what like I'm talking to me or something. This is what it's like to meet me or something. So, Agro, you've been off TV for a little while. You've been stuck... Only about a decade, corkhead. The last thing I did was Celebrity Wheel of Fortune with Adriana and she's not here anymore.

No, leave her alone. She's got bowel cancer. Give her a break. He's doing his little stand-up routine. Tommy also had cancer but you still smashed him. It was a pleasure, I must say. Like, it's not even his real name. What's his last name?

Old Sop. Old Sop. Oh, please, why am I doing this? Because it's less painful than talking to you, Tommy. And this is Tommy's Make A Wish. Yeah. Make A Wish I Was Dead, I believe it is, the full title. This is devastating.

When you read my name out on Cartoon Connection on my birthday, it was the happiest day of my life. It's just now I'm just feeling fucking devastated. I'm shell-shocked. Which one of those names was it, to be fair, though? Allsop. Allsop. Pre-transition.

Well, you want Cartoon Connection. Yeah, the birthday thing. Didn't you used to read people's birthdays? Not really. I just used to give the prizes to my friends and family. I'm just surprised I read anyone's name out. It was real. And that's like you did make him read it for your 25th, so I think...

Oh, fuck. Agro, thanks for doing this. Look, you met a lot of celebrities. Somehow you met a lot of people even more famous than ourselves. Yes, that's true. It wasn't hard, I might add. Yeah, yeah. Who did you meet over your time?

Let me see. Celine Dion. I was under the desk with her and it freaked me out, really. Why is that? Well, because her pantyhose were filled with hair right down to her ankles. Yeah, I know, I know. I'm talking to the guy under the desk. You'll be all right, pal.

It's okay. Yeah. Don't panic. Yeah. No all right, pal. It's okay. Don't panic. It's fine. Bec, my hands, my hands. I don't look real. I said Bec. Bec, my hands, my hands. You do like me.

I do, sort of. The other one, the other one, the other one. What about the other one? The other one. The other one. Other one. Other one, the other one. What about the other one? The other one. The other one. Other one. Other one. Oh, shit.

Oh, my God. I think a little bit of weed came out. If only there was a hashtag I could use. Something like hashtag I also. Thank you. I think he's been in the boot of a car for the last like eight months or so. Have you looked in the mirror lately? Jesus.

He was a savage. A lot of tension built up in that boot. Fucking hell. Who else? Celine. So you really were with Celine Dion. I worked with Celine Dion. Yeah, hell. Who else? Celine, so you really were with Celine Dion. I worked with Celine Dion, yeah, yeah. Anyone else?

Any dud celebs did you meet on the show? Dud. Who was the duddest? Oh, remember Jewel? Jewel? Oh, Jewel the singer, yeah. Yeah. She came in and I was beside her and I thought,

because she had a song that went, my hands are small, I know. That was her song. and I was beside her and I thought, because she had a song that went, my hands are small, I know. That was her song. And my first question, I said, hi, has anyone ever told you you've got really small hands? And she looked at me like I was a big steaming turd. Yeah. What about, can I ask, look, this is a pretty hard-hitting podcast.

Can we ask, there was a photo that popped up on you on the internet with a One Nation hat on. What? Why, you've been looking at the internet, have you? No big deal. Well, I didn't know. I just was walking around. No, I wasn't.

I can't walk. I can only do this shit. That's what puppets do when they walk. This is what we do when we run. Working beautifully at home for the people on the podcast. Yeah, so I was walking around Caboolture Show. Yeah. How many showbacks?

And some guy stuck a hat on my head and took a photo. I don't know. I can't see. I can't feel. I'm not real, the damn thing. They took the photo and next minute, Current Affairs ringing me. Oh, really? Yeah.

Fucking sweet. Did you get to do an interview or anything like that? Of course I did, mate. It's publicity, eh? Yeah, yeah. You never know when you're coming back on TV. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But after the YouTube stuff,

I don't think I'll be in children's television again. I think those days are gone, Carl. How's the blowback been on that? You know, you should be going out doing a national tour. People fucking love you, Agro. You should be touring the country. You could be filling up stadiums all around. Oh, Brad, Dad.

I'm saying, Agro, I write for TV, me and you, we team up, I write the gear, you be the pretty face, we could sell out all around the country. Yeah, and the guy under the desk can operate two puppets at once. Don't worry, Carl, it's just 30 seconds of excruciating pain and absolute bliss. But it's not like, see, those YouTube things, it's not like your broadcast.

I mean, those YouTube things of aggro, they've had two and a half million hits. Yep, yep. That's good. You want to spruik up Melbourne again, do you? That's what I'm saying. I'm on your side. Let's get you on the road.

Let's get you filling stadiums. People want to see you. Oh, let's me share some of my money with you. Big chance, Corky. Do you like Thailand, Agro? Well, I haven't got a frequent flyer for Thailand like you have.

That's this man. He's looking at me. There's no way I'm interested in going to fuck it or whatever it is. A puppet of the world. We can't tempt you. What? Nobody goes to Adelaide, dear. That's a fair answer.

We do a podcast festival ag Agro, in Thailand. We go there every year. No chance of tempting you over there this June? No chance, no. And my question is, how sad have you got to be to go to Thailand to entertain? You've got to be pretty sad, I reckon. I think you've got an urge in there that needs to be scratched. It's never come up before, has it?

Someone should talk to him about going to Thailand so often. Yeah. It's a lovely place. Is anyone here going to Thailand with us this June? There you go. You'd never think the first two rows. That's weird.

I think you're being generous. That was half the first row. I would love to see Agro on a Koh Samui webcam. That would fucking blow my mind. Guys, there is, this is breaking news, there's a new Koh Samui webcam. They've added a new one to the list. There's one down like this dark alley. It's fucking good. It's fucking good. It's really good.

It's really good. I'm a big fan of webcams, Agro. Sorry. That's alright. I appreciate you talking to me. I'm talking vaguely to you. I just thought you might be a fan of... What do you do when you're off time, Agro? Are you kidding? Is that a question? Serious? What do I

do in my off time? I just lie around. Once his hand comes out of my off time? I just lie around. Once his hand comes out of my head, I'm buggered. Well, to be fair, once his hand goes up in your head, you're buggered as well. I can talk now. I can talk. Don't you worry. I can talk, Carl. I just realised the eyebrows are the creepiest bit.

Yeah. Okay, let's go back to Tommy's. Have a look at that. He's the closest thing to Jerry G I've ever seen in my entire life. Oh, sweet Jerry G reference. Very nice. You've been reading the news lately? Not at all.

Agro, why are you so angry? Because my name's Agro, corkhead. If I was friendly, then I'd be friendo. Frendo. Frendo, Corkett. If I was friendly, then I'd be Frendo. Frendo. Frendo, I like that. The questions are getting worse and worse. Bring it on. Very polite of you to call these questions.

Come on, Nick, what have you got for me? Ask me a question. I can hardly see past you, you big bag of snacks. That's it. I'm fucking cutting away. That is it. I've been shamed by Agro. It'm fucking cutting away. That is it. I've been shamed by aggro. It's fucking all over.

Fucking hell. What was your favourite cartoon to throw to aggro? Oh, She-Ra, Princess of Power. Oh. Not a patch on He-Man. Oh. She-Ra, Princess of Power. Oh,

I used to love them unitards that used to ride up. What about... And then the eyebrows, mate, the eyebrows. I finally got it

with the eyebrows. I finally got it why you said it looked like Dilruch. That's the same eyebrows as Dilruch. Is that, was that the joke?

I thought it was just brown and hairy. Yeah. Thanks, Becky. No, no, no. Right. Is there any, any sex tapes rolling around of you, Agro? Any celebrity sex tapes? None at all.

Absolutely none at all, unfortunately. But, you know. Who do you reckon you could... Is that an invitation? I'd have to be a celebrity first. Not necessarily. I've been off TV for 20 years, Carl. I'm lonely.

I reckon that video would crack more than the two million, I have to say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it'd be fair, yeah. What about... Who do you like now on TV? Who do you see now that you could work with? What sort of frig freaking question is that? Have you run out of questions, Carl?

Yes. What do I like on TV now? No, no, I mean. Oh, let me think. Home and away? No, I mean people like, you know, you've got competition. Like the new aggro I reckon is probably Grant Denya. Grant Denya?

We wear the same size shirts. Are you kidding? Grant Denyer? We wear the same size shirt. Are you kidding? Grant Denyer? Do you reckon you could take him in a fight? Take him in five? Take him in a fight. You don't have any ears. I can't hear.

I've got no frigging ears. Your questions are getting so bad, Carl. Agro's got very good teeth. Who do you like on TV, Carl? Who do I like? I like... Don Burke? No, Carl. Agro's got very good teeth. Who do you like on TV, Carl? Who do I like? I like... Don Burke? No, no.

He's got more... Ben and Rolf? Hang on, he's got more YouTube hits than you, mate. So just settle down with those. Just some of your peers. Becky the Sniper sniper Fucking hell What's on next Agro? Are you going anywhere tonight?

Are you heading out after this? Mate normally you're thrown to a cartoon by this point Whatever you do Don't get a job on Current Affair You can't interview okay? Fuck What am I doing tonight? I'm getting in the bag, going home and having some Chinese down the road

after I go across the road and get a soft drink. Wow, it's like he's been in the room for the whole show. Sitting under a desk for 45 minutes has really paid off. Fucking hell. Well, what do you want to talk about, Agro? You said yes to coming on here. Have you got anything to spruik? Have you got anything you're pushing?

Ah, you started the show 20 minutes late. Now think about the poor bastard under the desk here. You know, everybody else paid good money to come in here. I didn't. I was just sitting under the desk. It's not easy being a puppet. I can't do it. I'm at the end of my career.

I'm having to work with dickheads. I'm in a basement in the valley in Brisbane. I can't get much lower. What's happened to my career? How did I end up here? I mean, I like the audience, but this mob, look at them. Particularly the freaky little one from the second number one. What about the new generation of puppets?

What do you think about Randy? Randy the puppet. Randy's all right. I like Randy. Oh, you like Randy? Yeah, I beat Randy myself. Because we're going to have him on the show coming up. I thought maybe you'd be a bit, I don't know,

there'd be a bit of something between you. No, he's good. I like him. Yeah, he's got sticks on his hands to make him work. I like puppets like that. Oh, you're right. You've never seen him. No, you're all right, mate.

Thanks, Nick. They didn't... I notice you're only adjusting my right hand. He'll get you. You know Randy's downfall, though? Terrible eyebrows. Doesn't have the same eyebrows. Has he got eyebrows?

No, he's got nothing. I think you've got them all. Yeah, mine's like a Mal Meninga eyebrow. It comes down like a roller door. Yeah. Playing beautifully to the Brisbane crowd. Yeah, I'm playing Brisbane. I'm playing Brisbane.

Hey, can I ask a question? Yes, go right ahead, Bec. Thank you. You know the expression Malmeninga smell my finger? Yes. What's that about? Because he didn't put the fingers in his bum. Did Hoppawattie get Malmeninga?

Yeah, Hoppawattie got everyone. Oh, right. Everyone. In fact, most footballers opened up like a sunflower when they went on the field. Just waiting. I think that answers that. You must have been privy to some pretty good celebrity gossip

over the years. Agra, have you got anything for us that you want to share? Who's the shit blokes in TV? Who's the proper shit blokes? Generally it's the newsreaders, you know. Oh, really? Yeah, because they talk at the autocue and when they get on a stage like this they look at the audience and they go, my brother's got a new car.

And you go, what the hell's he talking about? And they go, it's red. And you go, oh, there's something wrong with them. They end up just not being able to speak to people because the glass has sucked out their personality.

So newsreaders, I reckon. No one specific? No one? No, I really love Sandra Sully. She's on your good list. I used to work with Sandra when she was a personal trainer down at Milton and she used to go, hey, how are you going? How are you going? Everything all right?

Then she started newsreading and she's like, hello, welcome to Channel 10 News. I don't know what happened. She was a personal trainer, Sandra Sully. Yep. That was back in the day before personal trainers were a thing too. Really? Well, you know, like everyone's a personal trainer now.

Tommy is. Check me out. Tommy has been. Tommy is a professional victim, let's face it. I'm sure I saw you on Dunkirk, didn't I? Tommy's looking good at aggro, I think. He's lost a lot of weight. He's been going to F45.

He's looking really good at the moment. Thanks, guys. I'm back. You should have seen him before aggro. What have you lost? Maybe 10 kilos? Thanks, guys. I'm back. Yeah. You should have seen him before, Agro. What, he lost maybe 10 kilos? Well, excuse me, a terminal illness will do that to you. Oh, Dr. Agro with the... Well, I'm just saying. He doesn't look well, does he?

It took a couple of decades to really kick in, yeah. I think you look great. Thanks, Becky. What's your favourite day, weights or cardio? Weights. Okay. What about you? Cardio.

I like to keep moving. Oh, please. Fuck, it's hard. I feel like I need to keep feeding the aggro machine. We can't talk to each other because there's a dominant force on the end of us that is just going to fucking eat us alive if we don't talk to him for two seconds. Tell us more about television in the 90s because didn't you guys just make so much shit but you were getting so much money?

Yes. Did you invest wisely? No. Did you invest wisely? No The man under the desk married a woman Who took all of his money But hey, he got to keep the puppets Yes, well His house caught on fire

Up the coast His little girl accidentally set fire to his house And Mr Dunn, who's under the desk, ran into the house and got me out. Then he went back in for the children. He got almost all of them. The wife's gone. Don't worry, she'll be back. Fuck, so how many wives?

Is it just the one wife that's gone? Two wives? No, there was two wives, but the man under the desk had an accident with the first one. He tripped and fell on another woman. That happens. That can happen. Someone stood on the back of his thong.

Well, it is Brisbane. It was a double plugger, but I still lost me pudding. There he goes, blaming the old Kmart double pluggers. Oh, God. So that's the moment that got you right here, Agro. Yeah, and aren't I pleased. Has this turned into This Is Your Life? Yeah.

I know. I can't ask any other questions of anyone else. It's just everything's sucked into the aggro vacuum. Sorry, mate. Oh, you don't have to be sorry. I'm loving it. No, no. I'm sorry for you. Seriously. I'm being honest. I'm sorry for you, Carl. Thank you.

I'm really sorry for Tommy. There it is. You've got such a close relationship with the man under the desk. What's your opinion of him as a person, as a man? Oh, what a guy. I mean, some people only ever think of money and how much they can take from children and stuff. But shut up, it's pretty easy.

Yeah, but he's a pretty good guy. Oh, good. Oh, nice. That really speaks from the heart. I don't have one. What do you like legally? Look, to be honest, two years ago we were trying to get you, like I said, I don't know where those emails went,

we ended up very dishonestly getting an aggro impersonator. What do you think of people trying to make money off your good name? Good luck to them. Go for it. Do as best as you can. They are. Yeah, no, they didn't make much money if that helps at all. So you give us permission to do some bootleg aggro merchandise

and take it over to Thailand. Go for it. Go to Thailand with aggro and see how you go. I remember having a doll made in Thailand when we were selling aggro dolls and we had a big – I went to a tourist shop and got one of them koalas. It was big and cuddly. And I sent over to Thailand for them to design a big aggro cuddly doll because the kids could cuddle it, a really big one.

Came back looking like Chucky. Oh, my God. Don't ever get anything designed over there, pal. It's shocking. It's bad. I got my wedding suit designed over there and that ended up all right. Oh, by the way, say hi to Di for me. Fuck!

Dude, yeah. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Fuck, oh. Oh, oh, oh, ooh, ooh, die. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, die. Die. Out of all the people to fall onto when your double plugger breaks. Carl, what's more offensive to you,

aggro fucking your wife or saying her name? I'm not sure whether to be offended or turned on, to be honest. Finally, I've got something to put on my Wikipedia page. Aggro wanked to my wife. I think that's what that was anyway. Fucking hell. Aggro, are you yourself seeing anyone at the moment? I can't see anything, pal.

No romantic involvement with anyone? No romantic involvement with anyone that I can see anyway. Do you fear intimacy? Bec, do you want to swap seats again? Actually, come and sit on the table. How are the old co-hosts of the cartoon shows? How is your enduring relationship with them? Not good. Nah, nah, nah. How are the old co-hosts of the cartoon shows? How's your enduring relationship with them?

Not good. I spoke to Anne-Marie the other day and she said, Oh, you never call me, you never ring, you never call me. Oh, please. I can't do it. And Therese is in Los Angeles. She's trying to be an actress but she's like, you know, 58 now. So good luck with that.

If we could come back to the name Diane. It's quite funny because... Just don't. Hang on, hang on. Oh, oh, Diane. Oh, fuck. Diane, oh. I just want to try and make a joke. Wait.

Yeah, we're waiting. It's funny that your wife's name... Shut up. Your wife's name... Shut up. Your wife's name's Diane because you're often Diane on stage. That's good. Yeah. That's good stuff. Ew.

Got him. Fuck, I could really do with a Sprite right now. How long ago did you come up with that one? I was just working it out in my head. I checked out for a bit. How long have we been on stage? 40 minutes? Fuck, yeah, it's my head. I checked out for a bit. How long have we been on stage? 40 minutes? Yeah, it's about time.

I think this is about it. I think we're about to wrap up, aren't we, for this episode? Well, can we finish? I don't mind going naked if that's all right. Oh, yeah, show us. I'll finish being naked, all right. Strip off. There you go.

Enjoy. Thank you. Oh, my. Thank you. Enjoy. Oh, my. All right. Oh, my. Enjoy. All right. Oh, my. That's the sort of stuff you'd have to pay 30 bucks for across the road.

I can't help it. Oh, please. Let's look. That's it for this episode of Little Dumb Numb Club. Yeah. Please give it up for Becky Lucas, for Nick Cody, and for King Agro Agro can we have you back on someday no thanks fuck up and throw to

Sailor Moon you old comrade thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time see you mates oh and we'll see you next time. See you, mates. See you. Oh, and we're back. We've done it again. Talking dumb dumb, here we are. That was a lot of fun. I feel like some of these live ones we should give a little bit of background on.

Behind the curtain. I'm not sure. I think that was... I mean, there's obviously a puppet, so that means there's a bit of visual stuff going on, but he didn't do anything outrageous or anything. I think everything was, I mean, there's obviously a puppet, so that means there's a bit of visual stuff going on, but he didn't do anything outrageous or anything. I think everything's pretty understandable. He went nude at the end, which was a big visual gag in the room. Yeah.

But apart from that. Yeah. Oh, there is a lot of, like, him asking Cody and Becky to, like, put his hands back on the desk. Oh, okay. Because he doesn't, like, he talks about this, but he doesn't have, the hands don't move. The hands aren't part of the puppet.

So they're just kind of lifeless hanging there and they kept slipping off the little desk. By the way, we had to build for him to sit behind. Yeah, just a couple of bar stools and a handkerchief. He's not well versed enough in doing live performance to the point that he has his own rig ready to go. Like we had to facilitate that for him. That's it.

And look, it was all a bit intimidating dealing with him. Like finding, I talked to him on the phone on the day of the gig and everything was all good and then met him in person and he was all nice and everything and then he gets up there and just goes fucking bang. Yeah. So. Yeah yeah it was uh yeah look it was it was a very good coup and and he was very nice enough to come and do it yeah and he was great and the people really loved it yep um took me a long time to recover from but uh yeah um i've told you this but the listeners might enjoy knowing that the man the man himself the man uh behind ag, people know that his name's Jamie Dunn.

He's a prominent Brisbane identity. Sorry to all the parents out there. You let your kids listen to this show and Desley's doing a little Santa isn't real trick over here. Santa's real but Agro's not. Right. So he turned up wearing a Sanity T-shirt. Right.

Which delighted me with no end. What more could you ask for? Oh, aggro to wear a Sanity T-shirt? That would be good. Aggro to not bum me for an hour on my own podcast? Yeah, yeah. He took over, that's for sure. Yeah, totally.

But, yeah, that was a great deal of fun. Yeah, yeah. It was a great deal of fun and next week's one's going to be interesting because uh here's a tip for anyone that comes to any live uh back-to-back podcasts that we do the first one seems to be a lot of structure and there's a lot of you know time and care put into it the second one people just fucking lose their minds yeah we we what tends to happen is we we come up with enough material we think for both episodes we come up with enough material, we think, for both episodes.

We end up blazing through it all in the first one. And then the second is a lot of just real plate spinning. But no, I wouldn't put all that blame on us. I would say that the listeners have been drinking long enough to go, I think it's our time to talk now. The next week's one in particular, I haven't started the edit of it yet and I'm dreading it. It's going to be, yeah, the scissors are going to get quite a workout.

Tommy's got some work to do. Yeah, I think by the time I'm done with that one, I'm going to need to get my, what's it called, the thing that you sharpen a sword with to get the cut back into those scissors after I'm, you know, they're going to be severely blunted by the time I'm done with that. Yeah. But yeah, doing these two episodes in a day, we just had it in Adelaide as well. The second one is invariably just a fucking mess.

Like fun, like fun to be in the room of, but keeping an eye on the fact that people are listening to it at home, you're just sitting there going, Jesus Christ. It's, you know what, we do those two episodes and the first one is sort of a lesson in how to write and structure and, you know, have things going on through lines and whatever. And the second one is just riotous

fun but hopefully all listenable. You know, everyone seems like everyone's laughing, everyone's having fun. It's just more of a, I hope this is on track enough for people at home to be listening to and enjoying. Totally. But like I said, heaps of fun.

We haven't had a bad one yet, I don't think. So all the episodes coming up in the next month are all great, I think. Yeah. A little bit of, yeah, so we mentioned at the top, Melbourne, month of April is fast approaching. So come along. Let's fill these shows up. Melbourne doing a tiny, tiny, tiny little bit of Adelaiding. They could be getting their shit together a little bit quicker than this.

So get on to that. Let's fill those big rooms up. Now, of course, I just feel like repeating the little thing about, look, the last podcast that we do is on April the 22nd. And, of course, these four ones that we do in Melbourne every Sunday, they're at 3 o'clock, 3 p.m. And then the last, on the 22nd, we do the drunk cast. Now, the drunk cast is on about 11 p.m.

And you can only get in there if you have a season pass or if we have room after that, if you have a ticket to one of the other shows, then you'll come in after those guys. There's a tiny bit of a cover charge this year so we just don't lose a lot of money like we've been losing on the other Dreamcasts. Yes, yes. So what was it? It was $5 if you have a season pass and you get let straight in

and then $10 if you have a normal single pass. I don't think we've discussed that at any point, but I'm happy to sign off on it. Well, I forgot this as well, but a listener told me that. Oh, okay. Well, you listen to it, I don't. Okay. Sure.

We'll also be accepting tickets from Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. Will we? The musical. Yeah. Well, I definitely don't remember that bit. Why would we be doing that? Well, I listened to this and I'm bringing it up now. Why would we have made that rule?

No, no musicals, no musical tickets. Sorry, guys. I know they're expensive and you might think you're entitled to something free after spending all that money, but we can't honour them. If we got roles in that musical, then sure, happy to sign off on it. If you are a member of the cast of Priscilla. Oh, yes. And if you turn up in costume, you can come in for free.

Great. You can be on the show, I dare say. Totally. Totally. And bring a spare costume for us. Yes. Yes, please. Yeah, new rule.

Okay. Remember that reality show where they were doing Priscilla for real? Oh, I remember. I did a little bit of work on it. And it went down the drain after like one week. Yes. They paid me to do one little bit of work on that show. I presume I would have talked about it at the time

because it was quite a silly thing to do. I helped them write stand-up. To do a gig for some ridiculous reason, all the cast members went, we have to go and play the comedy store in LA and they all did a gig there and filmed it but then that bit never went to air. Well, it was one of those great reality shows members went, oh, we have to go and play the comedy store in LA. And they all did a gig there and filmed it. But then that bit never went to air.

Well, it was one of those great reality shows where they were like, this is going to be on the air for like six months. And then it didn't write. So all of a sudden it's like, anyway, we're just condensing all these episodes into two weeks worth of gear. And anyway, there it is. It's all done. Yeah, the stand-up bit did not make it to air. Not make the edit.

I'd love to know how it went. Because I was dealing with like i only got a couple of hours with with a lot of them and they come in one room one person at a time into the room and some of them are like this these guys get it and then there was like one guy where i was like this fucking dude does not get it and he's like he comes in and he's like everyone else is like listening because they're like oh god i'm so scared like i've never done anything like this before you tell me what to do and any tips and this one guy come and goes mate just you sit over there i've got this covered i know what i'm doing

i've been funny at parties before sounds like this guy looked you up on youtube before he came in no i think he absolutely gets it no no no this guy and then he and i go look man we've got half an hour here together or whatever it is you tell me me. You tell me what it is, what you've got. And then he starts telling me and I'm like, no, mate, we need to do some work. We absolutely need to do some work. So I'd love to see that guy set it. Yeah. Anyway, the drunk cast is going to be fun.

Yes. Yes. Yeah, so do that. And of course, looming in the background is the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival, which is why you need to hit up STA Travel. No news on the festival this week, but you know what? No, I won't do that. We have confirmed a guest.

I'll leave that for another week. Have we? Yeah. Oh, yeah, we have. Yeah. Is that locked in? I didn't know that was locked in. Locked in.

Really? Is it who I'm thinking of? I'm reading your mind. It's not Pamela Anderson. I'm really sorry. Oh, man. She's still a maybe. So close. It's not Pamela Anderson. I'm really sorry. Oh, man. She's still a maybe.

So close. She's still a maybe. Why don't we say who it is? Let's just not because I just have a fear of things going wrong. All right. Because it's, you know, you know what we're like. There's plenty of moving parts and our luck is not the best at sometimes. So I think there's no use saying it when.

Fingers crossed we can confirm OJ pretty soon because that'll be fucking great. What a coup. OJ and Pamela Anderson, maybe. That would be interesting. He's got a thing for blondes. All right. Let's do this part. Thank you, everyone, for people that come to the live show. They basically chip in to help us out to keep this thing going,

which is much appreciated. Thank you to all the people that buy the merch at live shows as well. We've got all the – you know what? This is what we haven't said. The first week of the Melbourne shows, we are going to have a brand new T-shirt. It's going to be very exciting. And that will be on sale online, I guess, immediately after that. But I think it's going to be popular.

It's good. It looks really good. Should we say what it is or do you want to leave it? I'll leave it. Leave it. Okay. Keeping everything close to the vest today. Yeah.

I love it. It's a bit of mystery. What is some information you're prepared to give up right now? Well, I've got some names of listeners. Just anything? Anything. I've got some names of listeners coming up that subscribe to the show. All right, cool.

That'll do. Some of them I'll give up. You know what? I'll give up some of them. Okay, how many? A small number. I like to keep the others secret. Like 12?

No, that's way too much. What are you talking about? 10. That's hardly a secret. Why would I? That's a fucking blabbermouth amount. Seven. That's not a tidy figure.

Four. Yeah, okay. And if they're good, who knows? Maybe a bit more for dessert. What do you think? I love dessert. Right. All right, okay.

Well, if you're a good boy during this Patreon read, you'll get your dessert. If I eat all my greens. Yeah. dessert. Right. All right. Okay. Well, if you're a good boy during this Patreon read, you'll get your dessert. If I eat all my greens. Yeah. Thanks, green. All right. So this is what happens. Like I said, thank you to everyone who puts in any way towards the show,

especially monetarily because it's really the only way that it counts. It's all right for me to, you know, someone to walk. When someone walks down the street, pats me on the back and go, I listen. Don't care. You want Jimmy Fallon style. You want people slipping you a crisp fiver in the street. Exactly, exactly.

If you see me on the street, I don't want to hello, I want five bucks in the hand, all right? So this is effectively what people are doing on the internet. They're slipping five bucks into our hand or more or less as well. But they sign up to patreon.com slash littledumbdumbclub and they give us a bit of cash and we give them a bit in return. Not only do we give them the show every month and every week, but we give some bonuses.

We give some magazines and bonus episodes, all sorts of bonus sort of stuff like that. By the way, we did a bonus episode recently because a listener sent us some money and said, take yourselves out to dinner on me. And we've been saying, we want someone else to do it. We're happy to just be dictated for what we do for those bonus episodes. Yeah.

People giving us money to go out and get dinner. You choose where we go. Happy to do it. Yep. So last night, a very princely sum appeared in my PayPal account and I got very excited and then checked the name and the information and quickly realised it's because I've given my parents my PayPal address and they're now

selling stuff on eBay. So it was someone paying me for something that they'd bought from my parents off eBay. Oh, right. So I was like, God damn it, because this amount of – we could have had a fucking good dinner on this amount of money. It was like $100. For what?

They sold a table. They sold a little table. Your mum and dad sell it on eBay? Yeah. Wow, okay. Interesting. What a world. Which has been a nightmare to coordinate, can I say.

Is it – I hope it's not his porno writing table. The magic's gone, the magic element. No, it's very stressful it's a constant um constant battle to just shield them from getting scammed um constantly because yeah they got one email and i was like but you know what it's so hard to tell now because like you get it used to be just anything in like you know written in sort of dodgy broken english you could sort of go but the thing is now like i've sold stuff where i've gone oh god i think this might be a scam and then the person turns up and they're like completely normal like most people's most people's just english and

grammar is so fucking appalling right now that legitimate emails look like a scam but like they got one they got one request where i was like this guy is definitely trying to fuck you over and then dad kind of got a bit too trigger happy and was like he goes check out this guy who I've told to fucking get lost and it's just this perfectly reasonable guy going hello David wondering if I could inquire

as to the dimensions of the table he's like I told this guy to get fucked I reckon you've done yourself out of the one sale you were possibly going to make of this thing, Dad. Can the listeners buy David Alsop's things if they have a look on? They just did a big sweep. They sold about four things which took me about six hours

to guide them through the process of putting online. It was awful, just a nightmare. In one case that was an electronic item, me going, Dad, does it work? And him going, I don't know. And me going, well, you've sort of got to know if it works to be able to sell it or not. But if they do it again, yeah, I guess I'll plug it.

I'll let people know. And then you can fucking scam my parents. At the very least, you can go around there and raid that bomb shelter. Yeah. Yeah, nice. All right. Well, hopefully they do get online and I'd love some listeners of ours to go around to the Allsop residence and pick up,

maybe sell something out of your old bedroom. Yeah, yeah. Maybe your old bed. Maybe they could sell the old Thomas Allsop bed. That's long gone. That bed's long gone. Oh, really? Yeah.

You busted it. Yeah. Broke it apart. Nice. Shattered it. Fucking nice. All right. So every week here we have a bit of sophisticated bit of software here

called the Unplanned Title Alternator. Yes. And we randomly – I believe we bought this from my parents off eBay. We randomly – it randomly generates a lot of names of people that have already subscribed. So it's completely random. Some people ask why they haven't been – had their name read out yet. Well, it is completely random.

That's not up to us. You must just be unlucky. You're just a victim of the alternator. So let's crack in. Let's do over how many names that we agreed upon a little while back. Four and then extra if I'm good. Okay. So I'm going to try and be good because I'd like to get through more of these.

You'd like to? Yeah. Okay. Right. Just because you want more of the listeners sort of being happy. I want to make people happy. Yeah, exactly. Nice.

Good on you. All right. Thank you to Patreon subscriber James MacArthur. Oh. Now, James MacArthur. Would you like to know a little bit more information about him? Love to. James MacArthur, he is…

Where are you getting this from? No, from the alternator. Oh, yes. Okay. Sorry, where's the alternator pulling this title from? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, this is not private information. This is about his character or anything like that.

This is the amount that he has subscribed. Oh, yes. And look, he subscribed a little while back and he is committed to this joke because he has given us $10.69 every month for quite a while. Nice. See, I like the dilemma that people find themselves in where obviously the funniest amount is to just put in $69. But that's a lot.

Yep. So then you get people going, well, I guess you could do $6.90. Yep. Not quite as good. Yep. But he clearly feels, well, the show is worth more than that. Well, he wants the bonus episode. He wants the bonus episode and he still wants to put the joke on the end.

Yeah. Fair play. We should do an actual great reward for $69. Okay. What can we do for $69? Let's just move. Fuck these people getting this goddamn magazine that takes up so much time out of our month for $5.

Yeah. That should be $69. The amount of time that we spend working on it, that should be $69. Oh, God. Yeah. It should be. Why don't we just do, why don't we do one great podcast episode that's like the Wu-Tang Clan album when they sold it to Martin Shaleki or whatever for a billion bucks?

Yeah. Let's do that. Okay. Let's record one really great one. I do like the idea of doing that. Yeah. Just, yeah. And you, similar thing, I swear to God,

we've definitely said this on the show before. We've said this idea on the show before. Right. We put it on a USB. We make you sign a non-disclosure agreement. You can't ever play it to anyone else. You can't ever leak it onto the internet. It's just all for you.

You know what? And we just fucking go in on everyone we don't't ever leak it onto the internet. It's just all for you. You know what? And we just fucking go in on everyone we don't like. Let's start the planning. This is my proposed idea. The $1,000 podcast. Yep. Love it. Let's start work on the $1,000 podcast. Okay. And it can only be

owned by one person. Yep. I like it. And so what would the content be? Just us not holding back. People think that we don't hold back on this podcast, but this is us at about 50%, if that. Man, like we've said many times before, I've made little screenshots of our Facebook chats at some point

and sent it to you and gone, what do you think about this? How did we come off here? Not very good. So if we went as hard as we could, I think it would be, you know, even the drunk cast, that's us holding back. Yeah, totally. I'd love to see, is this a bad idea to proposition this? Because we've said it, you know, we've hinted at this a few times

that what our chat logs are like. People in our private Facebook group, have a crack at what you think we mean by that. No, don't even do that. Don't even do that. Give people ideas. I'd love to see what comes into people's heads when we say that we're really bad at private. That's pretty wrong.

What about this? Let's start. This is a long-term project. Let's start thinking about the $1,000 podcast. It's not just about us not holding back and being savage and whatever. It's us thinking of the best content we can put on there as well. one yeah yeah yeah cool there's like a mix it's like a it's like a sort of a best of without it actually being compiled off yeah anything else well it's almost like you know when a band puts out a greatest hits and they record a new song for the greatest hits it's like oh this is part of the pantheon now is it right

it's sort of like that. It's us going, this is the best thing we've ever done. Right. But we're just sitting down and doing it once and deciding that this is immediately, by virtue of existing, worth $1,000. Because it's pretty annoying. That Martin Schlecky or whatever his name is, he doesn't get to write a review for Rolling Stone or anything.

So we don't really know what that album was like. Yeah. Could have just been. He probably could have. Did he, has he said anything about it? Could have just been Ghostface Killer jerking off into a microphone. I hope it is that. Oh, that would be worth it actually.

Well, then there was great speculation now that he's gone. So he's in prison now that day. So people going, what happens to this album? Yeah. Does this get seized by some kind of the state or something? All of a sudden it's, yeah, it's brought down to cash inverters. Because that would be very interesting. So if he got done for doing like super, super illegal shit

and he had bought that album with money from the proceeds of crime, then the government or whoever, they would be able to seize that as an asset. Yeah. So then what happens to it? Well, they would be able to seize that as an asset. Yeah. So then what happens to it? Well, they have auctions for that. Yeah, right. Yeah, it's like stolen cars or whatever. You go down to a stolen car auction.

That would be, what a great part of the story that would be. Yeah. So that would be good to happen with this $1,000 podcast. with this $1,000 podcast. So we need one of the conditions to be that the person who buys it is buying it with money that they've gotten from doing a crime so that if they ever get busted, then it's going to go into the system and one day be auctioned off at a police auction. Yeah, but then that would take the money off us, wouldn't it?

If they bust them for the crime, wouldn't we have to give that money back? I don't necessarily... No, that's not how it works. Is it? If you're growing pot and you buy a car with it, they don't then go down to fucking Holden and go, sorry guys, we're going to need this money back. Yeah, that's fair.

I think we'd be in the clear. Okay. Us saying it needs to be bought by someone who's a criminal, us in public soliciting it, I don't know. Look, if you're a lawyer who can help us with this. I like how we're already putting Barry's in the way of someone paying $1,000 for an episode of our show. A criminal.

It needs to be a criminal. You need to be a really – not only do you need to be making bad decisions now, you need to have made a bad decision in the past to get that money. But I feel like also that's the only person that's going to be into this in the first place. Right, yeah. Someone who's down for making bad decisions.

Right. Someone who earned that money honestly by doing hard work isn't going to go, I'm going to use my hard-earned dollars on a fucking podcast. Exactly. Someone's going to, you know, if they've just walked into a granny's house and beaten them up and taken their purse, they go, well, I feel bad about this. I need to get rid of this quick on something fucking shit.

Don't make myself feel a bit better. Drug dealers just immediately lashing out and getting gold rims and shit like that. That's what this would be. Driving around in some souped up piece of shit car, blasting a $1,000 podcast out of the sound system. Oh, what an ad. If you get the $1,000 podcast, you can drive down Chapel Street in Melbourne just with your car going up and down. That should be another stipulation that you have to at least once a week

do a lap of the main nightclub district in your city. And you have to have, even if whoever buys it, whether it's a guy or a girl, you have to have a bikini-clad girl next to you in the passenger seat. Yes. Yeah. Sure. Right. Awesome.

Wow. This is, I'm excited. I want to buy it myself. This sounds like a great life. This sounds like it's going to be a great podcast. Yeah. Fuck, I can't wait to. What are you going to do with your $500?

I feel like we're getting a little bit ahead of ourselves, but I'm fine with that. For $500, you know what? I'm going to give it to the guy who buys it so I can get in this car with him and drive down Chapel Street with a bikini girl. That does sound pretty great. That's cool. Thanks, James.

Thanks, James. Thank you, too. I don't think we've ever done this before on the Patreon. Look, sharp-eared listeners might be able to pick us up on this and I'm sure there's a couple out there, but this is two Macs back to back.

Ah, the Mac attack. I think we have done this quite recently. I swear we have. Thank you to Patreon subscriber, Stuart McTaggart. McTaggart. Ooh, I like it.

Do you think he's a well-heeled listener? Do you think he's got any chance of buying the $1,000 podcast? I suspect that he may be a detective in a small English countryside town. Is that just what a show is called? Is that an actual thing? I think it is. I think there's a show called Taggart or if not McT it is. There's a show called Taggart or if not McTaggart, there's a show called Taggart that's like a

cop show in England. Pretty positive. I feel like you're just you know, if we had someone called John Fawlty and you're saying, I feel like he's got an old English restaurant that didn't go very well at some stage and a bumbling waiter. J.M.E. McTaggart, a metaphysician.

Is that a show? No, it's just a famous guy with the last name McTaggart a metaphysician is that a show? no it's just a famous guy with the last name McTaggart thought you might be interested in that I was looking for the TV show so you think it's just called Taggart yeah I think so I think there's a show called Taggart that's like a cop show Taggart television program yeah that's it

just like I said a Scottish detective television program created by Glenn Chandler. Very interesting. Ah, first aired in 1985. Hmm. Very interesting. One of the fams behind that one. Easy.

All right. Well, that's… Wait, so it ran until… Wait. Number of series, 27 series. It started in 1985 and finished in 2010. That's amazing. Yeah. Well, so you've clearly stole that off that.

You knew that the whole time. I didn't know that. Well, what makes you think I knew it the whole time? I'm just looking at it on Wikipedia. Well, because I said McTaggart and you said that sounds like a cop thing from England. So that's where that's from. Yeah, okay. It was in my brain the whole time and I just didn't know it.

Yeah, exactly. I've never watched an episode of that show. It's one of those things where it just adds subliminally going to your head. That's all. Well, I mean, they could do my version of it and it'd still be a different show. Because I was saying McTaggart, not Taggart. Right. So this is the reboot. But it's already a be a different show. Because I was saying McTaggert, not Taggert. Right. So this is the reboot.

But it's already a Scottish detective TV show and you're just… Well, not Scottish enough as far as I'm concerned. Yeah, not Scottish enough. You're over-Scottishing it. Yeah. Right. This is just… This is just…

You're turning into one of those CSIs. It's just like fucking Bagpipe Division or something. Exactly. McTaggert. Yes. A specialty bag… fucking Bagpipe Division or something. Exactly. McTaggart. Yes. A specialty bag, special bagpipe division. Just bagpipe related crimes. Yes.

Yeah. Okay. CSI, the lock. Right. It's just every episode is trying to actually find the Loch Ness Monster. Right. In different ways each episode. And that's now a police job.

Yeah. To find. The cops got involved. The cops. Yeah. To find. The cops got involved. The cops. Yeah. Even though this fictional monster hasn't broken any laws, the cops are looking for the Loch Ness monster now. Yeah.

Well, the Loch Ness molested a kid, so they've got to find him. Don't say the Loch Ness because the Loch Ness is the body of water. Oh, okay. So the body of water didn't do anything. Yeah, no, that's what I'm saying. It's the monster in it that they're looking for. No, but that's so the body of water is innocent and they're talking to the body of water and it's going,

it wasn't me, it was the monster that's within me, which is kind of a metaphor. Oh. Fuck, I'm interested in this show all of a sudden. This is great. This should be the $1,000 podcast. This should be the $1,000 podcast. Fuck.

Maybe there'll be an episode of McTaggart within the $1,000 podcast. Oh, yes. Wow. Great. Wow. Fuck. Imagine cruising down Chapel Street listening to a small little episode of McTaggart.

Well, you know what the $1,000 podcast should be? Just a two-hour long rad dad. Man, this is a future idea of mine and i've talked about this before but we've said this for ages yeah do a do a full rad dad do a full live rad dad for an hour yeah see if we can do red dead for an hour we've been talking about this for years now yeah yeah let's get onto it after um we get it after samui let's let's let's make some time yeah yeah i think i think it would just be an interesting experiment in everything. In everything.

Like in audience patience. In audience attendance. Yes. Yes. Maybe if we had an episode of McTaggart before. We could finally find a thing that will undersell our stand-up shows. Right. Great.

Well, thanks, Stuart McTaggart. Thanks, McTaggart. Look forward to… Oh, yeah. It was an actual guy's name. Yeah. We forgot about that. Right. Great. Thanks. Well, thanks, Stuart McTaggart. Thanks, McTaggart. Look forward to… Oh, yeah. It was an actual guy's name. Yeah. We forgot about that. But, yeah.

Maybe you'll be within… Something inspired by you at the very least will be within the $1,000 podcast. Thank you to Patron Subscriber Mike Reckhabit. Mike Reckhabit? Yeah. Hmm. Yeah. Mike Reckhabit. That's a joke, right? No. Mike Rick Habit? Yeah. Hmm. Yeah. Mike Rick Habit.

Rick Habit. My, that's a joke, right? No, Mike, no, Mike, Mike Crack Habit.

Mike Crack, oh, fuck it is too. Fuck. Oh, another one from the Rick Habit family. We had a, we had gay uncle Steve.

I got tricked. Rick Habit last week. How the fuck did I get tricked? By being the dumbest man on earth. I was just looking at you going, I can't, I don't want to say anything because like, Rick Habit, I'm like, that's Israeli or something. You're a fucking idiot. That's Israeli.

Although, how good if this is an actual name and we're here going, what a dumbass. Mike Rickhabit. Rackhabit. Okay, I'm assuming it's a joke but also it's like, you know, it's not like crack habit is like a recurring joke on the show. Yeah, exactly. Spell it out to me.

So Mike, as in M-I-K-E. Yeah, yeah. R-A-K-H-A-B-I-T. It's a joke. Rackabit. Rackabit. Rackabit. Rackabit.

I'm looking up Rackabit if there's any such thing. Is their email address giveanythingmike? Oh, yeah. Good idea. ilovecrack at gmail.com. Yeah. It's I... Oh, fuck. ilovecrack at gmail.com. Yeah. It's, uh, I, mm, mm. Oh, fuck.

Ah. What? One of the first results, Urban Dictionary, Mike Crackhabit. Fake name used by lead singer and bass player of NoFX. Fucking hell. I've been rad-dadded. Fuck, I feel like Moe Sislak at the fucking pub. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is great. You piece of shit. If I find you, kid, I'm going to fucking pull your intestines out through your throat and feed them back in there again. By the way, great running joke on The Simpsons that they got bored of pretty quickly. Yeah. Bart never prank calls Moe. They stopped doing that in about like season three. Yeah.

I think they ran out of funny, funny fake names. Yeah. They should get us in to write for the show. They should get – And reboot Bart Simpson's, you know, prank calls. If that was our whole job, once a week you've got to come up with a funny fake name for Bart to give to Moses. We would shine.

I don't like the idea of just making up fictional, fake, funny-sounding names in a job where you're creating these names out of nowhere. I don't think I'd be ever be part of that sort of thing. Look, that's why I'm saying we'd have to get out of our comfort zones. That's what would be good about it for us. We'd be pushing ourselves to the next level of comedy because it's fair to say we've clocked this one. We're just treading water now.

There's nothing left for us to do. Well, that's completely fair. But, yeah, I guess I could try anything once. You're nothing left for us to do. Well, that's completely fair. But, yeah, it's – I guess I could try anything once. You're right. You're right. Okay. All right. Well, thank you, Mike.

Thank you. Thanks, Fat Mike. Is that no FX? Yeah. No. Who's that? Yeah, is it? I think he owns the record company.

Does he, Fat Mike? I don't know. Who cares? Yeah. No, you're right. Completely who cares? Thank you, too. All right.

Well, here's another famous surname coming up. Okay. All right. Thank you to – Jazz. No. Over. Dover.

From the Dover family you're chipping in this week. Fucking hell. Hunt. No. See, you know what? Over the time that we've been doing this, I've filtered out the fake names. Oh, you got done so bad. That was great.

That was fucking great. Fuck this. Mike Rackhabits. The best was like, even when you said it out loud, you didn't clock it. Like, I would have thought you would have gotten like near the end of it and gone, oh, I see what's happened here. No. I mean, had.

I was interested. Rack Habit just sounded interesting. Why chip in with a fake name? Don't you want your own name read out? Clearly not. Right. Well, I mean, it makes you wonder how fucked must the real name be? Yeah.

Should I find out what his real name is? He wouldn't have given. I've got it all on in the Patreon. I mean in the random name generator in the details there. You know what? No, no, no. Let's leave it. Yeah, fine.

Okay. Fine. All right. So what do you got for us next? What are you doing? I'm hitting the button. Oh, okay. Oh, okay.

Can I give out the okay. Can I give out the name? Can I give out the email address? Don't give out the email address. No, of Mr. Rackhabit. Oh, it's a fake email address? Look, it could be real. Who knows? Okay. Well, I won't give out where it's the email company.

Yep. The email company? Yeah. Well, that's what they are. Yeah, sure. So, it's such and such at blank, right? Now, look, this might have given a bit of a clue as to the verification of whether that was a real name or not. His email address is you underscore fucked underscore Mike underscore hunt. You know what? Good stuff.

Give out the server. Give out what email company. You know what? If people want to hit that up and find out if it's real, go for it. Hotmail.com. You underscore Farked. Farked. Farked.

F-A-R-K-E-D. No, F-A-R-K-E-D. F-A-R-K-E-D underscore Mike.-R-K-E-D F-A-R-K-E-D underscore Mike underscore Hunt at Hotmail.com Hit him up. Hit him up. See what happens. Ask him about what part of Israel he's from. Cool.

So, thank you to Patreon subscriber James Ansell. Nice. Hell yeah, dude. Yeah. James Ansell nice hell yeah dude yeah I mean never used his product but whatever

is the next name going to be Johnny Bareback it's I just hope I just hope that money doesn't bounce back

like a bit of rubber that's what I'm hoping see this isn't fair because you you you vet these actually no you don't they're all random

they're unplanned yes exactly what are you saying no nothing nothing nothing at all weird what a weird thing to say

I was just imagining a scenario in which you got advanced look at these names and got to you know got to like

right gear but I guess hypothetically speak so good about how good you are off the cuff that it seemed to me as if you had pre-planned this. Hypothetically, if I had planned these names,

I would have hypothetically planned them about two seconds before we turned the mics on. Okay, right. Hypothetically, in that situation, you're giving me way too much credit that I sat down and had a look at it. Hypothetically, you're a bit of a shit-cutter. Yeah, and that's hypothetical, but yes. You're giving me way too much credit that I've sat down and had a look at it. Hypothetically, you're a bit of a shit cunt. Yeah. And that's hypothetical.

But yes. James Ansell. Boy, we sure are filling this segment up with karma, aren't we? Now you must have read this previously. Guilty is charged. That is too good. Guilty is charged. Have you hacked into the unplanned title alternator?

No, this person hit me up to let me know that they'd been subscribing. Oh, okay. And I've had a year to work on this. Oh, right. Have you got any others? They've been subscribing for a year now. Yep. You should have one more, surely, if you've had a year.

He is really… Yes, go on. Because he… Continue. He subscribes and then he resubscribes. He's kind of putting it in and out. He keeps putting it in and out. Right.

Okay. Does he do that? I'll check up on that later. Well, you know, again, this is the information he's given me. Okay. All that. Right. Yep.

I'll check up on that. Well, it's James Ansell. James, can you have a girl's name James? Probably not. Maybe. I'll check all this. Look, if none of this is true about this in and out business, I want you to edit this out.

Okay. We'll do. That's unfair to say that about someone. James Ansell. Just, you know what, like an Ansell, that money's been sitting in the wallet for a little while and he's just pulled it out and sent it over to us. Yes.

Yeah. Sure. I hope that money hasn't been used before and stuck back in the wallet. I think this... I hope we're not getting used Ansel money. I think this Ansel might have broken because it's given birth to some very bad comedy.

might have, I think this Ansel might have broken because it's given birth to some very bad comedy. Yep. Nine months worth of bad comedy coming up, thanks to you. Thanks to James Ansel. Just because there was a little prick in it. Oh, wonderful stuff.

I love comedy. So that's the designated four. That has been good. Now you promised, if I was a good good boy that we could do one little extra one. You know what? I think I've been a pretty good boy. Yeah, I think you've been good. Yeah. I mean, apart from I think nearly every person so far,

you've insulted me in some way. You've laughed at my rack habit. You've insinuated that I cheated with the James Ansell name. Did I? Yeah, well, that's actually sort of bad in a way. Don't you think? I know that I insinuated that you cheated. But, yeah, okay, but two out of four, I was 50% good.

For the rest of them, I was pretty good. All right, well, look. And we had a good brainstorming session about the $1,000 podcast. Okay, yeah, all right, all right, more good than bad. And I invented the show Tag It. That makes me a good boy. Okay, yeah, look, all right, all right. More good than bad. And I invented the show Tag It. That makes me a good boy. Okay. Yeah, look, all right.

That's some good content coming up. I'm looking forward to this $1,000 podcast. Yeah. All right, you've won me over. One more. We'll do one more. A little dessert. You know, I would have done a few more, but I don't think you deserve a few more because

there was a few, a little bit of bad behaviour by you in there. Yeah, no, look, just give me one and then, like, that's something to aim for in the future. Okay. He's getting more bonuses. Okay, easy, look, just give me one and then, like, that's something to aim for in the future is getting more bonuses. Okay, easy. All right. One more. All right.

Time to hit the big old red button one more time before we close the door. Smash it. On another episode of the Little Dumb Dumb Club. Talking Dumb Dumb. Yes. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Mohamed Comedy. Okay. Now, have we done this before?

Fuck, I hope not. Because I feel like I've asked the question before of was it the – what do you mean by Muhammad? Please God, not the prophet Muhammad Comedy. I mean it's just a name. I've got a little bit more information in here. Okay, sure. I've got his catchphrase in here.

Wait, is there a section in Patreon where people get into their catchphrase when they subscribe? Why has no one ever done this before? It's not so much a catchphrase. It's just a little line that he's left there because he appears to be, I mean, yeah, there's a line in there where you can put your occupation in there for whatever reason. Again, not enough people do that.

Yeah, yeah. I don't know why. We've spent an episode speculating people's occupations. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I guess he's heard that episode and gone, well, here it is. I'll make it easy for you. Yeah, yeah.

So apparently he is a, let me see if I can pronounce this properly, boxer. Oh, okay. Right, right, right. Yep, yep, yep. Right. And he says, float like a butterfly, give your money to me. That's his little thing about Patreon. Give your money to me?

Yeah. So he wants us to give money back to him. Yeah, it doesn't quite work, does it? It doesn't work at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, I mean, that's him. That's Mohammed Comedy for you. Right.

I would have said, float like a butterfly and do some comedy. Oh, nice. All right. Well, Mohammed, if you're listening, maybe change your… A bit of free feedback for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Mohammed Comedy. Yeah.

The first boxer we've heard of, I think. I don't, yeah. In the comedy family. Yeah, or of any. There's been no one else who's added themselves as being a boxer so that's cool yeah

not a lot of look there could have been hundreds of boxers but they didn't fill in the all important occupation yes

card in the Patreon nor did they put their catchphrase of I'm a boxer yeah yeah yeah yeah or

any catchphrases like the float like a butterfly thing. It could have hinted that that's what you do. Yeah, totally. It would have been helpful for us to know. Yeah. Well, thanks, Muhammad. Yeah, thanks, Muhammad. Thanks, Mr. Ali.

Thanks, who? Sorry, I mean, Mr. Comedy. Yeah. So I've got some dust in my throat. Right. Yeah. That's weird. Choked over the word comedy.

You've got dust in your throat? Yeah. Haven't you used your teeth in a while or something? What? Have you got dust in there? I just did some dust. It's dusty in here. Right.

I opened up. I breathed in. Some dust went into my mouth. Okay. Yeah. Fuck. We've got to use some of this Muhammad comedy money to get a cleaner in here or something. Yeah.

That would be fantastic. Yeah. Maybe. Wow. Okay. Well, I can't wait until the $1,000 podcast when we'll start getting a fucking butler as well. Swimming in it.

Yeah. Well, thanks, Mohammed. Yeah. Thanks, Mohammed. Thanks to, if you are indeed related to, I think we've had a couple of people with your surname on the show before, so I'm not sure if that's not… One or two. Yeah.

I'm not sure if you're a relation, maybe if you're… What country are you from? But you haven if you're – what country are you from? But you haven't filled in the what country are you from little space there, so a bit of a mystery. But we seem to know every other thing about you. But thanks, Mohammed. Thanks for chipping in. Give our best to your family if you run into them.

Yes. All right. Thanks, everyone. Thanks this week for the Patreon subscribers. LittleDumbDumbClub.com for tickets and information on the Patreon, all the stuff you could ever want. That's where you can subscribe and chip in. We really, really, really appreciate it.

Yes, live show's coming up in Melbourne very soon. Our solo show's come out to all of that stuff. Looking forward to seeing you guys for the next few weeks. But, yes, next week we have another great episode from Brisbane with great guests and, yeah, that's all there is to say. You know what? Tiny, quick little tiny, tiny ad right at the end. Look, I run a bunch of regular comedy rooms

and people know about that roughly. During the Comedy Festival in Melbourne, if you're around town, if you've seen a bunch of Friend of the Show shows or you've seen our shows, during the weekend I'm running a late night show at the European Beer Cafe called Late Night Comedy on Friday and Saturday nights at 10.45, which means once you see all the shows you can go and see a showcase of some of the absolute best in town from overseas, from interstate, from local, from everything. So it's going to be heaps of fun.

Sick. Yeah, littledumbdumbclub.com, guys. Get some tickets and we'll see you soon. See you, mates. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. It's not optional. You have to do it.

We used to go easy on it, but now you have to. Yeah. Yeah.