The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 392 - Doug Stanhope & Cameron James

Episode Date: April 11, 2018

Fresh from Subway, this week we're joined by DOUG STANHOPE and CAMERON JAMES! We talk about ice in Melbourne for way too long, try and coax Doug into doing Tonightly and catch up on some sponsorship news for the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival. PLUS Cameron sticks around for Talking Dum Dum!This episode is brought to you by Cal Wilson and her show 'Hindsight' at the Melbourne Comedy Festival. Head to comedy.com.au for more info and tickets!Don't forget, we have a bunch of huge live shows coming up:MELBOURNE: We've got a month of awesome live shows happening for the month of APRIL. KOH SAMUI: The Koh Samui International Podcast Festival is happening again in 2018 with guests The Dollop! JUNE 13 - 18. For tickets, merchandise, links to our Patreon and heaps of other stuff, head to our website: littledumdumclub.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on The Little Dum Dum Club, a brand new episode with Doug Stanhope and Cameron James. But first of all, we need to let you know that this episode of The Little Dum Dum Club is brought to you by Cal Wilson and her show Hindsight. Cal Wilson. Lovely. Absolutely lovely human being. Yes. Awesome stuff. Great comic. She's on from the 29th of March until the 22nd of April at the Victoria Hotel. Tickets available from comedyfestival.com.au. Always a, yeah, sells out pretty regularly during the Comedy Festival. Exactly. When you see her show on in a room,

you'll see a long line of people waiting to get in and there's never, yeah, it must be a great show because there's always people absolutely busting to get in. So be like the rest of the fucking sheep, is what I'm trying to say. And she's always been great on this show when you've seen her at live shows and stuff like that. Totally.

Whip smart. Whip smart. Whip. Yes, so comedyfestival.com.au until the 22nd of April. Go check out Cal Wilson. There's also, by the time you're hearing this, two more of our big live podcasts Sundays in April. There's two more opportunities to see my solo show,

Ledger Suit Tommy, 6pm at the European Beer Cafe. And. Go on. Your show. Yes, go on. Hypothetically. Go on. When's this happening?

Go on. Give me all the details. I'm keen to go. Well, it started tonight. How did it go? Great. Okay. Did you enjoy it? I keen to go. Well, it started tonight. How did it go? Great. Okay. Did you enjoy it?

I did enjoy it a lot, yeah. Great. Yeah. Carl Chandler's shit list, go along and see it. It is a limited run. It is me baking cunts for an hour, which is a bit of a step out of what I usually do, but I thought, you know, I'll do anything once. So there's a lot of cunts getting their comeuppance, finally.

Finally. You said cunts twice in a very short space of time and then you had to say a different word that started with a C and it very much tripped you up to not be saying cunt again. That was just a small preview of what's to come in my show. Yeah, so littledumbdumbclub.com for all that. We're also on Patreon, which is where you can support the show if you choose to.

We have the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival. Oh, man. Fuck, I love that place. Yep. June 13 to 18. Yep, and? You had me. It was good acting.

I thought you genuinely just remembered something new. Yes, we are going to be back at the end of this episode with another edition of Talking Dumb Dumb with a special guest. But until then, enjoy this episode with Doug Stanhope and Cameron James. Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us.

My name is Tommy Dasolo. With me as always, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day, dickhead. And today, two great guests. First of all, Cameron James joining us for the first time. Hey, thanks for having me, guys. It's a pleasure to be here. I'm a living legend in comedy.

Yes, yes. Now, we'll talk to you for half an hour and then we'll bring the second guest in. Can I tell you who my guys are? Yeah, sure, please. Mark Maron. Yep. Shut up. All right.

Also joining us, Doug Stanhope. Yay! Yes. Also, the Doug Stanhope podcast, as this will be put out as a swap cast. Oh, nice. So this is us going out to, yeah, all of your listeners are discovering whatever this podcast is for the first time. And vice versa.

Yeah. And they can edit out Sam James. It just doesn't make sense when comics who both have podcasts appear on, if you both have podcasts, put it out as both of your podcasts. Sure. It's like fucking Leno on Letter Revolution. We're happy for you to put it out to your billions of supporters and we'll put it out to our eight.

It's fine by us. Absolutely. No problem. Yeah, suck shit, idiot. You got sucked into a bad deal. Yeah, that was a bad deal. You've got to get a new manager, dude. You're getting cucked by the dum-dum right now.

Anytime I get forced into putting out a podcast, it's a good thing for all involved. Yeah. Well, this was a – so you've been in Melbourne for a few days currently before your tour kicks off. Yeah, but I haven't done a fucking thing. Well, we didn't know you were here. We had a PR person hit us up to say,

hey, have Doug Stanhope on your podcast. I think this is like the first time that an international guest has ever requested to be on the podcast. Even open micers don't request to be on this podcast. So, yeah, it's quite a feat. I did not request to be on the podcast. Man, even open micers don't request to be on this podcast. So, yeah, it's quite a feat. I did not request to be on this podcast. Let's be clear. Someone that you're paying requested on your behalf.

Some podcasts are thrust upon you. Well, then this afternoon I got a text from your manager that said, our duty free has taken a blow or two, so please bring whatever booze, mixes, et cetera you need. Sorry we don't have a full bar like back in the USA. See you soon. Oh, my God. I was like, what does he think this is?

Can you explain what your podcast is? Do you get fucking wasted on every podcast? Can we be on your podcast now instead of you being on our podcast? Because it sounds like a much cooler podcast. It is. Well, in the States, for a handle of, that's a 1. No, no, it's not. Yeah, 1.75, the big fucking jug of vodka, nine bucks.

Right. Yeah. Right. The land of the free, truly. And so here it's like 50 bucks or whatever. I have no idea. I know fucking cigarettes are like $29 a pack from Marlboro Lights. Yeah.

And Hennigan, of course, gets us this place with a balcony where I can smoke all day, so I'm not even rationing myself. I'm going to have to go down to small rations for the next God knows how many weeks I'm here. Well, we've tried to help you out. We got the request to bring ice, so we've walked into your salubrious hotel room in through the foyer

with the only... Look, we were at the European Beer Cafe just before this, and you asked for ice, so we got a big handful of a big bucket full of ice, and I asked the staff there to give us something to put it in. So we got a big, dirty old garbage bag full of ice. That's fine by me. So it looks fucking terrible.

No, it doesn't. As long as you're happy. I've been going down to Safeway on the subway, I mean, subway on the corner and buying a cup for $3.80 just to fill with ice and then bring back here and then ration out. It's silly.

That's cool because, you know, when I come in with that garbage bag full of ice, the garbage bag's not in the best condition. It looks out it's silly that's cool because you know when I come in with that garbage bag full of ice the garbage bag is not in the best condition it looks like it's been fucking used for garbage already so I'm not a person that cares right okay you don't mind dirty ice no no dirty ice is fine any ice is fine

any ice in a storm well now you've got the garbage for the listener you have to understand we're in the central business district, so you go downstairs and it's basically Manhattan. There's no fucking grocery store or, you know, it's a bunch of small fucking shops and a bunch of busy guys in stupid suits. Yeah, you can get insurance way easier than ice downstairs.

Exactly. Well, now that you've got the garbage bag, now that you've got the garbage bag, you can just go back down to the European and get a cheeky refill. You run out. If you haven't noticed, I've saved my Subway cups up there. I did notice that, and that really depressed me, if I'm going to be honest. Yeah, you've just got this saved Subway cup full of ice,

and I'm like, how did you guys afford your fucking airfare to get here? You put it in the freezer and then had to bash on the counter to loosen the ice and I thought this is actually very this is depression. I'm looking at depression right now. I feel like we're doing better than you these days. I'm very lazy and I'm very claustrophobic so on the few occasions I do

meander down on the street up here Melbourne is beautiful but once you walk out the door it is human traffic of the heaviest level, and I just get claustrophobic, and I'll eat the closest thing that's around. I'll get ice out of a fucking subway. It's hard to leave the house and remember to bring your empty subway cup

so they don't charge you for more ice. Well, you're flying to Tasmania tomorrow, so on that plane, guess what they got up there, baby? All the ice you could fucking need. Just stock up. I'll pocket it and refreeze it when I get home. Bring your esky.

So this is part of the press junket for the tour. I saw on Twitter on the way here you've been booked on Tonightly. Tonightly, I was very drunk last night and tried to cancel that. I saw that. You were trying to get out of it on Twitter. Well, Brian knows

that I hate television. Tom Bellard. That's why we don't have our I don't know if you normally do your podcast with cameras. Everyone else does. Yeah, we don't. Look at us. Does anyone want to see this? Exactly. That's what I hate

about breakfast radio, how hot everyone is on breakfast radio now. How sad is that? They won't even hire ugly people anymore. You can't even get a job in radio if you have a face for it. That's fine. That's the thing now though. They used to have hot people on breakfast radio and you go, what a fucking waste.

No one can see you. But now they're videoing it. It's like, oh, well now there's a fucking use for it. Now we've got no chance. Yeah. So you'll go on to Nightly. Will that be like a similar thing where your appearance gets filmed nightly? I just found out about it. Hennigan probably knew I wouldn't want to do it and didn't tell me about it. I didn't find out

until I was drunk and saw it on Twitter. But is it the same as the podcast where it'll be on here, you'll be on it, but simultaneously it's also on The Daily Show back in the States? It must be nice to be accidentally on TV. It must be fucking nice. I did actually get them to agree to do that on Twitter. I was going to have our own.

You have a regular setup here for podcasting. Thank you. We have the travelling one, which is just that, you know. The little Zoom thing. Yeah, the little Zoom thing with two mics. So I was going to make the guy hold a mic when he interviews me and do a swap cast as we interview. That's awesome because you would get so many more downloads

than that fucking show would have you in. So that would actually be sweet. Well, the host of that show listens to this so he'll probably be into it he'll be happy to do it well he said I said and I get to smoke cigarettes

I don't know if there's a term for it here there was in the states in the writers room where you would put something in the show that you know the censors are going to come like a ringer

to get cut out so they don't focus on the shit you really want right so I said in the show that you know the sensors are going to come. So they don't focus on the shit you really want. So I said, alright, but we have to do my podcast live on your TV show and I get to smoke cigarettes. Which one was the one

you wanted cut out? Well, I figured there's no way they're going to let me smoke cigarettes but he agreed to both. Is that what you did with the ice? But where you just went, no, fuck, we'll do the ice as well? I did not ask for ice. I should have thought about that. A very special Madman-themed episode of Tonightly next week

when you're on. Would it make you more enthusiastic about going on that show if you were to find out that they recently got in a lot of trouble for calling a politician a cunt on the air? Oh, that's a... Well, I just... Here we go. Here we go.

He's put the drink down. I don't even think I had the sound on. I just watched a trailer that they had pinned on their Twitter, and it looked like a late-night talk show meets Benny Hill. I have a feeling Greg Larson was in that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It looked very slapsticky and out of my range. Yeah, that's how we do comedy down here. Do you not have men dressed as women in America anymore? Don't you have sexy nurses over there? That's so funny. Again, it was a short trailer. I was in a bad mood. And I was very polite

in saying that I will not be on that show. That was their clip for your consideration. That was for the Emmys. That was the best sketch they've done all year. It was a montage. It wasn't one sketch. It was just a lot of fast-paced... I don't think they'd make you do any of that shit. I think they'd probably let you

smoke your cigarettes and just talk. It's not like Saturday Night Live. You don't have to dress as a woman. You don't have to be Oprah or anything like that. Our TV is so arduous. It must be nice. You have a gig. You work at this venue across the street.

That is like, ultimately, you can walk out of here, walk a block down, go upstairs, grab the mic, talk shit, and come right back in the time it would take me to take a dump and pour a new drink and clean the garbage out of my ice. Sorry, can I go back to your dump? How long does this dump take? I was adding things to it.

It starts with a dump. Point being, you TV, you have to fucking go there. It's always a million miles away. You have to get a laminate, sign in, wait for some fucking hokey PA to come down and bring you up and introduce you to 75 people and sit in a makeup chair and then have producers go over with you how it's going to work. I'm going to talk for

four minutes. This is so not worth it. You're right, man. I'm not going to do that show either. Never been asked, but anyway. It's a big no from me. But it must be because you basically do, you love a stand-up and you're not into chasing TV in America or whatever. But the thing must be, like, when I look at you, I go, man, it's a sweet life. You get to just do what you want and whatever. You've got a lot of fans. But surely the fans, like, I reckon out of everyone, you must have the most psycho fans. Like, when I think of your fans in Australia that I know, I go, look, it's nice to have fans, but you've got some fucking pretty demented ones.

Yeah, but that keeps it interesting. Do you have a lot of open mic-er fans as well? Exactly. That's what I mean. When I think of the worst open mic-ers. Like every fan is three drinks from getting up at an open mic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like fans is great, but the worst sort of fans, I think,

are comedians that are fans because there's all these half-assed imitations of you going around. I'm dumping this joke from the set because it's too inside baseball, but I have a large chunk about the Me Too hashtag. And one of the things I was saying is that where it came to things, he made inappropriate jokes in the workplace. And at first, as comics as comics we go really fucking comedy is you can't even make jokes

anymore in the workplace but then I realize all of my fans that try to make jokes like I do that are inappropriate but just fucking dumb and vulgar they're talking about the co-worker

who pulls his balls out of his pants and stretches them and says, it looks like I sat in gum. It's good gear. Can I use it? You'd have some subtle, funny way, but then your fan at work goes, I'm going to rape Karen.

Exactly. He just pulls his balls. Oh, I can't make jokes anymore. I'm not'm going to rape Karen. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. He just pulls these balls out. Oh, I can't make jokes anymore. I'm not really going to rape her, but I'll fuck her. He just pulls these balls out without any comment and thinks that's the joke. I put your Bluetooth in my asshole when we were in the bathroom. What, no one can take a joke?

I like how you described the Me Too hashtag as being a little bit too inside baseball. I think it's outside baseball at this point. No, no, about my fans and how they try to mimic my type of comedy. That's why I don't even look at Facebook anymore. Twitter is very quick and succinct. Facebook arguments,

someone will give you shit and then eight other people will start a separate thread in the comments. I could never get into Facebook. I feel like you're the patron saint of fans that have bummed the most cigarettes off me. Like,

just open mic dudes who are obsessed with you, have got no money, need money for a taxi home, need a cigarette, need a rolly cigarette, need something out of me all the time. Yep, but I've inspired them to something. Yeah. I think of you as a guy that had a big podcasting audience

before podcasting existed. Do you know what I mean? Like you had like a real grasp because I remember you used to, ages ago, like 2006 or something, you had like a real grass because i i remember you used to ages ago like what 2006 or something you had like a forum on your website where it was like this big community of all these people that were into your stuff and hated each other yeah just fucking hate each other kind of pre-facebook as well you really you're trying oh yeah that was pre-myspace i had to get coaxed onto myspace and and I still miss MySpace was the best. I miss MySpace too.

Yeah. That top eight. Yeah. All drama. You could curate people. Bring back the top eight. With power. Yeah.

It was the best in the world. People lobbying for your favorite. And then people started hacking it and making it a top 24 just to keep their friends in. No, fuck you. I'm keeping it to that top eight. I want you two cunts to know top i want i want you to come to know exactly what i think of you what order yeah exactly bring it back let's start a new one

that's just the top eight is all it is no other functionality whatsoever it's just a top eight yeah that's nice i always try to start a resurgence of myspace right when it was officially kind of dead yeah like hey what if we just all go back to myspace and then it'll just be a small amount of us since no one's there but then they revamped the whole thing i guess it still works for music yeah but you you heard my music oh man i was in so many high school bands that had myspace pages and just so many long bios describing our sound right when we were like 14 15 years old going yeah we're kind of like zeppelin but kind of more like pink floyd actually psychedelic but kind of futuristic well this sums up your fans to me that i know of which is i i told i told someone a very good friend of mine

that we were doing this podcast today and his first question was like he goes oh man i've got this thing i've got this request for you and And I think, well, we always have two guests. So obviously the question is going to be, can I be on it so he can talk to you? He goes, can you ask him? I know you've never met him before. I talked to him. Can you ask him for free tickets for me?

I'm like, you fucking, you piece of shit. You fucking piece of shit. David Quirk. I'll put it out there. David Quirk. He's the same guy that went to my wedding and didn't bring a fucking present. So that's your demo. David Quirk, your name plus one will be went to my wedding and didn't bring a fucking present. So that's your demo.

David Quirk, your name plus one will be at the door. No, don't do it. But for the wrong night. Yeah. Put him on in Tasmania. Put him on in Tasmania. Yeah. I reckon, yeah, you'd be the sort of guy with your DMs on the day of a show

would just be blowing up from fans looking for a ticket on the door. Oh yeah. Yeah. There's a, the one that we belabor on my podcast is no one understands sold out means there's no more seats. If there were more seats,

I would have sold them and it would still be sold out. So I don't know what you want me to do for you. They think that there's some magical empty room that we keep in case someone got too fucked up and didn't buy my tickets in time. Yeah, we get that a bit when we do live ones of this. Not for our stand-up, but for the live podcasts that we do, like, yeah, the day of the show. I know it says sold out, but the thing is I was going to buy one,

but then I didn't until now when I realised it's sold out but the thing is I was going to buy one but then I didn't until now when I realised it sold out. So can you still sell me one? And I'll give the money straight to you. And also Massive Fan, you've got to let me in Massive Fan. Is that what you're thinking about buying a ticket half an hour before the gig? But I just love that

as a reason. They never even bother to give a valid reason. It's just like oh yeah I've been planning to and then I just didn't a valid reason. It's just like, oh, yeah, I've been planning to and then I just didn't until just now. It's like you're not even making something up about a sick relative or anything like that. That's worse than not explaining it. Like that's not an excuse.

That's what I presume. Well, I think it was probably the first time you were out here doing stand-up in Australia was maybe 2007. I think you did one show in Sydney, because I flew up from Melbourne to Sydney to see you, because you just did like two nights. It was on the weekend of Mardi Gras, so flights were very expensive. They have Mardi Gras here?

Yeah. We're real progressive. We've got gay people here and everything. Really? Yeah. They're really bad at it. There's heaps of them, and there's like 18 of them. And they're very loud. But yeah, we went up to see your show,

and me and a friend of mine who I'd started comedy with... Marston would have never tolerated such behaviour. Sorry, I think that's his name. It's one of the colonial... I'm reading a book of Australian history and the foundation of it. Oh, you know more than us. Yeah.

Easy. book of Australian history and the foundation of it. Oh, you know more than us. Just get done homosexuality and the penal colonies of the... They didn't tolerate that shit. Oh. Are you testing out local gear for your shows on us? No, no. I've been... It's a 600-page book that I've had my face in, so go ahead.

Is that book part of the Airbnb, or did you bring it with you no i brought it okay right i didn't know it's going to be 600 fucking pages of small print but it's really fascinating uh so anyway go back to what you were saying so we flew up to see your show and we knew who'd you borrow money off to go and see your show by the way my parents right um uh there was no myspace then so i couldn't message doug to say hey can we get on the door exactly um so we got there and we knew the guy that ran the comedy store at the time and he was like, oh, if you want, I'll ask Doug,

we can go for a drink afterwards. And my friend goes up and was like, we're both huge fans, my friend is like, I'm going to take drugs with Doug Stanhope, this is going to be the best. Gets so pumped up to do drugs with you, thinks it's going to be this all-in thing where everyone in the group is just going to be off their head. We met you at the club. We then went to the hotel you were staying at to have a drink in the bar.

We get in the car to drive over there. My friend pulls out some ecstasy, takes one, and then hands it around to everyone else in the car, this bag, and goes, all right, who else is getting in? And one by one, everyone else in the car just goes, oh, actually, no, I don't really feel like it. I'm just going to have booze instead so we then turn up to

this very late, like about the same number of people that are here now, just five of us just hanging out having a nice chat, which is great, with one of us in the corner just absolutely chewing his fucking face off and just talking at a million miles an hour at you, it was fucking great and then we stayed up

all night to get the first flight home the next morning and I sit next to him on the plane coming down like I'm trying to sleep. He's waking me up going, did I embarrass myself? Did I embarrass myself in front of Stanhope? Did I embarrass myself in front of Stanhope? Yeah, cunt. You're on ecstasy. You're embarrassing yourself in front of me.

I'm usually, it's really drunks are the worst. Usually, if someone's tripping on any kind of substance like that, I'm usually, it's really drunks are the worst. Usually, if someone's tripping on any kind of substance like that, I'm usually pretty, not forgiving isn't even a word. Empathetic. Someone's, yeah, all right, I know where you are. Here, give me a hug. Have some water.

Yeah, you were a very gracious host. I think you did go and get him a bottle of water at one point. You were the mark of a man who had been in that situation many, many times before. He had a big garbage bag full of ice and made for it to melt. It's the drunks that are the ones that I have to throw out now when they're my biggest fan, the one that did remember to buy a ticket

but didn't remember to eat before he started drinking four hours early. And then you have to throw them out because you know they're just talking back to you in the front row and you i can't yell it you can't yell someone sober like all right i'm gonna say hey you gotta really stop talking and you're gonna forget within 30 or 40 seconds and you're going to start talking. And I can't wait it out. I can't get you a pot of coffee and walk you around the parking lot and then come back to my act. I'm going to have to have you removed.

Because in his head, he's like, okay, I've just embarrassed myself in front of my hero. I need to think of a way to apologize to him or make it up to him. I know. I'll chime in on this next bit. That'll help. That'll make him funny. Hell yeah.

The last one wasn't funny. I'm really going to top myself. But someone on a drug like that, yeah, you can say, hey, listen, you're going this way. You need to go that way. And you might see a spark in their eyes where they go, yeah, I guess I should do that. Yeah. I got you. I got you. I got you.

I went and saw you once in Sydney a couple of years ago, and a group of maybe eight guys came in like 40 minutes into the show or something. They were a group of anarchists who lived in a squat, who just assumed the show would be on at whatever time they wanted it to be on. And how many cigarettes did they want off you?

I made them smoke every single cigarette. Anarchists, they offend base as well, man. Yeah, it's weird because when you say anarchists, I would go, I guess I'm kind of an anarchist at heart, but not in practice.

Real anarchists. Libertarianism. Yeah, it's a great ideal, but anarchist at heart but not in practice. It would never work. Libertarianism. It's a great ideal but... Real anarchy is not buying the cup from Subway. Just scooping the ice in your hands and running out. Stealing ice from an actual Subway would be anarchy.

We do... When you tour around you tend to find venues that aren't sort of... Traditional? Traditional venues for comedy and whatever. I saw you doing the Greek Centre in Brisbane. Is that true? Yeah, we did that the last time.

And I did an interview still back in the States with Brisbane. Do you have to pretend to be Greek to get in? And they were talking about the Greek Centre, and I did remember the place. And it's kind of awkward, but, I mean, fun. Yeah. And then she had been there,

or he had been there, I don't know, and then she kept talking about it, and then I realized, wait, I'm playing there again? She goes, yeah, that's why I brought it up. I'm like, I don't know, I was fucking back at the Greek center.

I thought that was a one-off funny thing. So you're not contractually obliged to do a bit of Zorba's dance in the middle of the gig or anything like that? I'm sure I made a million jokes like that. I'm playing at a venue called the Greek Centre in Melbourne for this whole month and I've made every version of those jokes and they never fly. Never.

Is there a franchise for inappropriate comedy venues going around Australia called the Greek Centre? Wow. That's great. Well, we're doing our own version of that a little bit. We don't get booked for a lot of gigs in Australia. But even though the podcast is very popular, we've decided to make our own podcast festival.

So we are going to... We did it last year, a minor version. Next year, we thought this would be sort of Stanhope-esque in a way. We've made our own podcast festival on the island of Koh Samui in Thailand. We don't have any listeners over there. There's no fans of ours in Thailand. But all of our fans are coming from all around the globe and whatever to go to Koh Samui and assemble there.

Now, there's a thing in Australia called the Melbourne International Comedy Festival Roadshow that drag you around the country and pay you to tour around the country. We don't get booked on that. Just for laughs. That sort of thing. We don't get booked on that at all.

So we've made up our own podcast festival in Koh Samui and just so we're officially on Roadshow, we've made our own Roadshow gig where it's like the next island over from Koh Samui called Koh Pen Yang. So we're officially on roadshow, we've made our own roadshow gig where it's like the next island over from Koh Samui called Koh Pen Yang. So we're officially on roadshow there. So we're going to an even smaller island with even less people on there. That's fantastic. Printing out their own T-shirts.

There's only going to be like 40 or 50 people there, but we're officially on roadshow. Yeah, we did this with the Just for Laughs where we did Just for Spite. Same deal? We did it like three years in a row. No, we went to Montreal, the big Just for Laughs festival, and we did Just for Spite. And then the third year, we didn't even do a show.

We just rented out a car wash directly across from the hotel that held all of the after parties and then had free drinks and music and everything. So we drug all the comics out of their official after party to our party because it was way cooler. Right. You're welcome to come over to Koh Samui and try to find a car wash over there.

I will not be able to. I will not be able to. You haven't even heard the date yet. I won't even tell you, oh, no, I won't be allowed in that country once I rewrite this thing that I should have been writing now, but I'm podcasting instead. I will not be going back to Thailand. Oh, so you've just been to Thailand, haven't you?

Yes, I was. Yeah. Oh, so is this another statute of limitations thing? We'll talk about it off the air, because if you broadcast this on your podcast, you'll also be breaking Thai law. Oh, no. Really?

Oh, yeah. It's that fucked up. Oh, fuck. It's a scoop. What did you do to my adopted country? No, you didn't do anything. Let's kill it. All right.

Even my dad just said kill it. That's fine. All right. I guess when we go there in June We'll find out You didn't say a thing We're going there in June So we did it last year

We had about 100 people there This year I think we've got 200 or 300 people there We're going to do this We met this lovely lady called Mama Ninja Who runs this restaurant called Ninja Crepes And we all loved it and it closed down but we're going back this year and we said to her can we do something with you and so she's opening up her abandoned restaurant on a beach for us to come and have this massive beach

party that's fantastic yeah and then she's gone it's gonna be great by the time you get there i'm gonna have my pool finished i'm like i don't think that's a great idea like you know it was like a small thing last year we're gonna have 300 people fitting. I'm like, I don't think that's a great idea. Like, you know, it was like a small thing last year. We're going to have 300 people fitting in your pool by the beach. Like, I think this is going to be like, we're going to have, this is, well, what we're doing is we're really insisting on people getting insurance. We're not filming a rap video.

It's so unnecessary. Your restaurant is on the beach. Like, you'll probably get a pool in that sand that's just wasted space. How about just wash the fucking salad in there? We don't have to jump in there. So it's just increased my anxiety about it. It's like, all right, there's already scooters.

There's already enough dangerous things. We don't need a fucking pool there with a lot of drunk people and people and possibly other substances to be there with a pool. But anyway. What other substances, man? Curry.

Okay. Yeah. What do you think? Spring rolls. Yeah, exactly. You don't want loose curry stool in a new pool. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, totally, totally.

It's not like Caddyshack where it's a... No, it'll not be solid. There's no solid stool. Yeah. You can't scoop out curry diarrhea from a fucking infinity pool. It's always grim in a public pool when there's the sign that has to say, don't come in this pool if you've

got diarrhea. You never want to be that person that sees the sign and then registers it and walks back the other way. We would always do that and go to the front desk and say, we were reading the pool rules are they really strict about the no open sores and leashes and then you just keep a straight face and wait

for them to break yeah yeah well we i've been having trouble so it's called the coast moly international podcast festival featuring the little dum-dum club and um i've been trying to get sponsorship from companies over there, thinking, well, this might be easy. You know, you get to spread your brand into Australia. It happens in Thailand. So I've been hitting up beer companies. And I don't know if you've ever tried to get a sponsorship

with a company that doesn't speak English, but it is surprisingly fucking hard. I wouldn't say surprising. I've been trying to get beer sponsorships with these guys, thinking, well, we're going to sell a million beers over there. If they could just get on board, it'll look nice on the poster and everything. And so all I was doing was I was mocking up posters as to what it would look like with Chang Beer and Singer Beer.

And they're just sending back cease and desist emails from lawyers going, take our logo off your poster. Really? You've got to stop doing this. And I'm like, it is a… It's a mock-up. It's a mock-up. I don't know what type of mock-up is, but it is a pretend.

It's a practice one. And it's just like all these streams of emails going, we will sue you if you keep putting the logo on the poster. And I'm like, what's in it for me to advertise your logo and put it out there if I'm not getting anything off you? This is, surely you understand that this is a practice and it just went. Well, I think none of you have obviously watched

my last special, which was just this kind of a fluff piece throwaway thing called Pop-Off Vodka Presents an evening with Doug Stanhope. And that was the whole point is Pop-Off Vodka Presents an Evening with Doug Stanhope. And that was the whole point, is Papa Vodka is like this shitty grade $9 plastic jug vodka and hobo vodka that we thought would be funny as a sponsor, and they said they wouldn't touch Doug Stanhope with a nine-foot pole.

And so it's a whole 20-minute rant that goes on about that, where I put that out as Papa Vodka Presents until they serve me with a cease and desist. They are my official sponsor against their will. I'll get a dime. Man, I need to do that. All right, that's awesome.

That's awesome. But you would think that in your comedy community here, you would know one. I'm the first Australian Thai comedian. You know how everyone fucking open mic. Okay, what am I? I'm gay and Malaysian. So when I get up in the morning, I don't know.

I'm the first one. Yeah. Yeah, I'm the first sick cunt comedian. Well, you would think you'd know someone that as terrible as they are at open mic speaks Thai. Yeah, yeah. Yes. You know how when you're first four wall in open mics,

the one guy with the PA, the cliched guy, always gets a set because he owns the PA. He sucks, but he has the equipment to put on a show. That's why I run my gig at the bar down the road. Yeah, that's me. Well, then you should hire a Thai kid with fucking terrible jokes, but you can speak to the people that own beer. That's not a bad idea.

We've got to scour the open mics to find a mediator for these kinds of things. Just to not get a suit anymore. There's just so many complaints. And then the last offer was the guy comes back to me and this is the second beer company and he said, what do you want? And I said, this is what I want, this much money and this, whatever.

And then he goes, yeah, it's all good. And I'm like, wow, this is actually happening. I'm actually going to get this sponsorship for our festival and I start getting ready for it. And he's like, yeah, yeah, whatever you want. And then I sort of have to actually go, hang on. Is that a traditional type phrase? This guy sounds like a good

businessman. I'm like, hang on, let's just get this clear and get this in writing. Do I have this number right? 4487? Yeah, yeah. So I'm like, this seems too good to be true. So I have to go back and go, can you just, let's officially get that on paper as to what we're getting out of this. And it comes back as, if you order 100 cartons of beer,

you get 10 cartons free. I'm like, that is absolutely not the deal. That is not even a good deal at a supermarket. It's not sponsorship. Yeah, it's not sponsorship. It's commerce. It's a special you're having that I've been

communicating with you for three months over and I'm getting like 10% off. This is not a good deal. Well, if you're doing a ridiculous festival, why wouldn't you go with a ridiculous sponsor? Yeah, sure.

Like hand supports for fibromyalgia with a ridiculous sponsor. Yeah, sure. Hand supports for fibromyalgia people. That's not a good one, but something absolutely ridiculous. Maybe the sponsor, I mean, the dear departed business in Thailand is the fake DVD, so I'd love to get sponsored by a fake DVD shop.

Oh, that's fucking brilliant. Yeah, a market. That's a good idea, and you could set it up in... Pirated DVDs. Maybe pir that's fucking brilliant. A market. That's a good idea. And you could set it up in... Pirated DVDs. Maybe pirated the fake Dr. Dre Beats headphones. Maybe that. They're like $10. And I've

fallen for it up to three times now. Oh, this is a good deal. Snap. Fuck. Sponsored by hats with the word dope on it. Oh, yeah. In silver foil. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice. Alright. Well, maybe I'll speak to the people at Dope and see how we go. Underage prostitutes that are really 30. We'll still end up with only 10% off, I'm sure.

That would be a hell of a cease and desist to get. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, but we have a brand to keep up. We don't want ourselves associated with your shitty podcast. Because you, Doug, you hold, so you do these Super Bowl parties every year? Not anymore.

Not anymore. Yeah, we cut that. Too intense? No, it started out we had fun football parties because we live in a town that's an artist community. So the people that actually like football have no outlet. So we had a nice core, and over the years, it grew to a bunch of people who didn't like football,

and I'm just hosting all the time. And then that fatal mistake I made on the Joe Rogan podcast, he's like, so anyone can show up at your house? And I went, yeah. Oh, no. Well, then, yeah. You forget that lives beyond the moment in podcasting. If I said that on the radio, I said it, it disappears.

But people listen to that podcast years later. They're catching up years later on the podcast. Also, it's people that are at work, and they're listening to you in their heads, and they think you're their friend and shit. And all they're thinking is free cigarettes at this party is going to be fucking good. We are very, very, very familiar with that phenomenon on this podcast.

Yeah. Maybe I meant it at the time, but the time is over. Yeah, yeah, right. I, as a prank in the first year of doing this show, read Carl Chandler's number out on the air and he continues to be haunted by it to this day. Yeah. You know, when you were talking before about gigs,

about when someone wants to talk to you after the show or whatever it is, people don't even come up to me anymore. They just, after the show, they'll ring me. They'll text me. They don't have to talk to me face to face anymore. So if I put someone down as a heckle, they don't come up and say sorry while I'm on stage.

They ring me after the gig, which is fucking no good. I give my address out, which I still... We've had a few bad apples, but overall, we installed some security and whatnot. Is this why you go on tour so much? Just so it's easy? I live so far the fuck out. What's your address?

212 Van Dyke Street, Bisbee, Arizona. If you Google Doug Stanhope's address, it's the first thing that comes up. Okay, good. Well, it is now. Yeah, and fans send us fucking weird and phenomenal stuff that's amusing, and I love getting mail.

I live in the middle of nowhere, so a full mailbox is fun. Oh nice. And they send things to Bingo who is always confused. I go hey send shit to Bingo at 212 Van Dyke Street Bisbee 85603 then all of a sudden there's a bunch of

dumb packages. I mean most of them are pointless. And for our fans and listeners Bingo is your partner not your dog right? Yeah. This is my gal pal. And she's... She's of limited capabilities when it comes to figuring out over and over again

how I pull this prank on her. Why do I have all these packages? Did you do that thing again? Yeah, I've been doing it for like 10 years. Sounds like she's worked it out. Yeah. That's not a bad thing.

You got pranked and you get heaps of presents. Like, prank away on me. I'll have fucking presents. I'll give my address out if I'm going to get nice stuff, not rocks through the window. Well, I live two hours from the closest airport. Right. So, and still in the middle of nowhere.

Yeah. In a secondary airport, you have to get down to a small town on the Mexican border and then, you know, ignore the angry dogs and bang on a gate. Yeah.

And I'm probably not home anyway. I guess the person that shows up after going through all that is a very specific type of person. Yeah, most people have been really polite, and a lot of times we were at home and drinking and doing a podcast or something, and someone emails, hey, we're in town.

Where should we go have dinner? And you go, all right, everyone, we're in the mood. Okay, yo, come over here. But generally I'm out in town, where should we go have dinner? And you go, all right, everyone, we're in the mood. Okay, yo, come over here. But generally, I'm out of town. And if I'm not in the mood or I'm away, hey, no one's ever complained about Bisbee, Arizona. If they showed up, they had a fucking great time regardless of my presence.

It's this weird little community that people fall in love with. So, yeah. With all international comedians that come through town, I have to ask the question. We have a cohort of the show, someone that's always more well-known overseas than he is here, but our friend called Milan, who's a Serbian international, I think gunrunner because of how much money he has

to buy people drinks and stuff. Have you had much to do with a man called Milan Krencevic? No, I don't know Milan, but I'm thinking right now, and I'm spitballing here in the executive office, let's move this quirky podcast thing to Serbia. Yeah. Fuck Thailand. You already got a guy that knows the language, has

some power, has some clout, and you could get some weird Serbian beer to be your sponsor. The pool will be cold. If I call him now, it will happen. He's already offered to bankroll the whole fucking thing. Milan,

the very famous... Like I said He's like It could be called A Serbian podcast Oh Like a Serbian film Great See I have a movie podcast

So I get the reference Oh right I don't get it at all A Serbian film is One of the great films Where you get to watch A man rape a baby Oh

One of the great ones of that One of the great films That exists out there Of that category Is that a real thing? Yeah It's one of those like ones of that. One of the great films that exists out there. Of that category. Is that a real thing? Yeah, it's one of those like kind of torture porn type movies. It's the apotheosis of torture porn. Yeah, it's in the wake of Hostel and Saw and all that shit,

a Serbian film came out and everyone went, oh, yeah, we don't need to make any more of these movies, actually. We've seen a man rape his own baby. Where are you fucking cunts going? We're going to have to get up and walk to the other side. Yeah, we've seen a man rape his own baby. I feel pretty good about not knowing the reference, to be completely honest. I don't even go to movies anymore. I watch live baby rape.

Yeah, it's always better live, isn't it? When the crowds start getting into it and shit, it doesn't translate to video. Being in Thailand, let's not talk about that, but by all means, let's get stuck into a bit of the old BR. Well, babies don't have boys, I guess, so whatever. Whatever it gets to, get

it to stop crying. I mean, it normally starts crying, then it stops for a bit, then it starts again, and then it stops forever. Then it makes that direct eye contact and you come like a volcano. Don't be making those noises. You've got Doug Stanhope on your podcast. What did you think?

How did you not think baby rape was going to come up? I'm surprised it took this long to happen. I didn't bring it up. I didn't bring it up. You brought it up. No, I brought up a Serbian movie. Which is about baby rape. You're a manager. You're supposed

to be telling people to not say things like this. That's your job. I'm Doug Statham's manager. I don't care about your career. That's very fair. What I like is happening at the moment is that the listeners of our podcast are going, fuck, this is a pretty raw episode of Dum Dum.

The listeners of the Doug Stanhope podcast are going, this is a pretty soft episode by Stanford. Tomorrow we have, and you brought this up earlier, the psycho fans that I have. Well, sure, they all need cigarettes, but some of them are really brilliantly interesting where tomorrow night, Hannigan just said, oh yeah, our tour guy for the rest of this tour

is going to meet us in Hobart. He's going to bring his podcasting equipment, but I'll bring ours just in case. And I said, we're just there for a night. We fly in the night of the gig and fly right back here why the fuck he goes don't you remember you you got the email from that fucking Iranian and said we have to podcast I'm like oh fuck I yeah it was some uh fan that lives in Tasmania that uh was a prisoner in an Iranian prison he's Iranian and then

said he was facing 35 years in Dubai for being an atheist oh fuck we gotta get this guy on the podcast yeah I'm like fuck yeah

an Iranian podcast festival yeah there we go man alright fuck why have we been bothering with Thailand so long

fuck this sounds great so yeah you get those yeah that guy's probably a little tits out after all that experience but it's got a good story yeah yeah but that's what that is though really it's not like he doesn't have a podcast he just wants to talk to you no no I he just said I'm a big fan I'm coming to your show I have this story I was the one that said I want a podcast with you. Oh, great.

He asked if he could shake my hand after the show. Right. Like, he wanted nothing. I understand if he can. I'm like, fuck you. You're podcasting.

Right, right, right. It's a bit like how you got on this. You emailed begging to be on this show. You got your PR person to just hound us day and night

and then finally we relented. We thought you had an interesting story, so we thought let's get this over with. You were wrong. You were so wrong. Well, it sounds like you do have one. and then finally we relented. We thought you had an interesting story. You were wrong. You were so wrong. Well, it sounds like you do have one. We don't want to talk about it.

Let this be a lesson to other podcasters. Well, Hannigan's good about, oh, yeah, I'm a thousand percent more likely to do anything if you come to me. Yeah. We need to get this, because we do a thing every year at the end of the comedy festival on the last night, so we do live

podcasts of this for Sundays, like four Sundays in a row in April, and then on the very last night at 11pm, we do like an unrecorded drunk cast, where we just get maggot on stage, the audience just get off their fucking heads, and it's, you know, it's all the...

What it ends up being is, like, the pent-up frustration of a month of doing a festival show. It's off the record. It's less podcast and more us jumping into the crowd and forcing 17-year-old girls to carry us as we crowd surf over and over and over again. Yeah, and I think this year we're going to have... But you don't put it out?

No, we don't put it out. We don't record it. It would sound horrendous. It's literally us crushing teenage girls and their chairs breaking and them being injured by grown men. And you don't have a portion of your listeners saying, you've got to put it out. I don't care how unlistenable.

Totally. People want to hear it, but we can't do it. The problem is when you're that fucked up is you say things, you go, oh, I should have never said that. Yeah. We do to hear it, but we can't do it. The problem is when you're that fucked up is you say things, you go, oh, I should have never said that. Yeah. We do record every year, but then we listen back to it and go, well, there's half an hour of screaming in a row that doesn't need to be out there.

Yeah. We need to start doing, because I've- You edit it down and then you sell it as a Christmas CD. Right, right. Of just the best of unlistenable dum-dum podcasts. It's like the Yoko Ono of podcasts. Your hardcores will buy that and they'll love it. Well, I've started to hear

tell of people coming along and bootlegging and I think we need to do like Dave Chappelle style, like take people's phones when they come in this year so that no one can record it in any capacity. Or fill their phones up with dick pics. But do you think by the end of it we're in any state to know how to give the phones back? Fully naked.

That's happened before. Oh, wow. You don't, if you're wearing a wire, it's hidden deep where we're going to have audio issues. Oh, you mean the audience is fully naked? Yes. Oh, wow. You have the most entrepreneurial mind. You come up with all these fucking ideas.

That's good because you know at least with the male listeners, you know which ones are really excited by the gig. You know how the gig's going. I am with the females too, dude. Slip. You can give them, for their own comfort, you can give them a sarong. Oh, we give you the sarong though.

Yeah. You come in naked, get behind the thing. But it's a scam because the sarong you have to buy from us for like 20 bucks. Oh, there you go. See? This is a writer's room right now. Yeah. Maybe one of those wet weather ponchos.

Like, so it's a see-through poncho. You get to wear one of those. I think that's good. Wet toga night? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, this is, so the drunk cast this year Is the night after Your last Melbourne show So if you're in town

You're more than welcome To come and get nude With us brother Nope Nope I'll be in New Zealand Wait

I don't fucking know I think we go to New Zealand That's a hard no But I'm available Yeah we're busy So I think we're booked up Unfortunately Sorry

Oh shit dude I might just come hang out. Oh, I was going to buy tickets, but I was all fucked up. Now it's sold out. Actually, wait. I might have that night. Yeah, I might be there that night, as long as it's not being recorded. Yeah, this is a sweet punk.

You just saying that all of your freak fans will turn up in new... Bring cigarettes. Bring cigarettes. One by one. Are we going to get this podcast festival sponsored by Marlboro or something? One line for people that want to get into the show. One line for the smokes. Plug the night.

You get it sponsored by loneliness. Sponsored by loneliness says Hennigan off mic do you know the night Hennigan since you're can you look up the night that their show is April 22 and the venue

the European beer cafe the one that's just here oh yeah right here the ice capital of Melbourne you can walk past the subway where I get ice and just cross the Oh, yeah, right here. Yeah. The ice capital of Melbourne. You can walk past the subway where I get ice and just cross the street and it's right there.

Oh, you just know open micers are going to start going to that subway. Full dog stand with three cups of ice. This is the ice that Stan Hope drank. That's the Fanta

he nearly drank right there. Stan Hope shat near here somewhere, probably. Can I have the Stanhope sandwich? It's a fucking meatball sub, dude. You can't name it yourself. We name these things. Well, I think we'd better wrap it up for another week on the Little Dumb Dumb Club. Cam James, Doug Stanhope.

And the Doug Stanhope Podcast. Yeah, sure. We're our manners. Thanks very much for joining us, Doug. Absolutely. It was a pleasure. And also, simultaneously, thanks for having us on your show. Oh, my fans will love it.

Yeah. And of course, you touring lawyers. Oh, yeah. You know what? Throw out your Twitter handle. Oh, okay. Thank you. No one uses Twitter over here.

Well, they do, but you have a... We're at Dum Dum Club on Twitter. We're on Instagram and Facebook. But your Australian tour dates, you're going but you haven't. We're at Dumb Dumb Club on Twitter. We're on Instagram and Facebook. But your Australian tour dates, you're going all around the country. Say it out loud because Chaley will put in all of your handles in our breakdown on the website where they go to hear my version. So tell us which one's the cutest. Oh, by the way, get pictures.

Did you get pictures? All right. Yeah, sweet. We need a default photo for our podcast. I'm plugging mine. Good to have a bit of bureaucracy on the end of the podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, shut up, everyone.

I've got to plug my fucking Twitter and my fucking Instagram. Go for it. It's at IamCameronJames. I said shut the fuck up. It's at IamCameronJames, and please be friends with me end of sentence end of podcast the problem is

James if anything I know about you fucking too many cigarettes on you so if anyone can help you out anyone ask me for cigs here's the problem is because

we're Americans people go oh that one guy was really funny but they all sound exactly the same. Well, I was the one that talked about baby rape. So if anyone's keen. And the Doug Stanhope's fans all want cigarettes. Go ahead, yours.

Yeah, Carl Chandler. Add Carl Chandler on Twitter and Instagram. And the guy who actually brought the equipment. The guy that has the PA so you do his podcast. At Dassolo, D-A-S-S-A-L-O. But at Dum Dum Club, that's good enough. Yeah, yeah, for sure. But yeah, please follow them.

Great. Thank you. Yeah, go check out Doug. He's got a bunch of shows around the country that'll still be going by the time this has come out. Yes, guys, thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mate.

And here we are. Oh, we're back with that special guest that you promised at the top of the episode, which is the same guest that you just listened to. Oh, what a fucking trick. It's Doug Stanhope. Keep talking. Hey, it's me, Doug Stanhope, iconic comedian.

Wow. Yep, I'm fucking cool and my audience are stupid how do you look more homeless than you did when we saw you before in your hotel room

yeah things have been going pretty bad burnt a lot of bridges but you know hope you enjoyed that ice just kidding guys I'm Cameron James great to be back

great to be back you just heard him being very polite and respectful whilst doing an episode with us with Doug Stanhope. Yeah, I think I was pretty respectful. I did bring up some things that,

I don't know if you cut them out or not, but when we were talking about a movie, I brought up some gross shit. I'm probably going to leave that in. I reckon you should leave that in. I think that's the only bit we left in. All right, good, good, good, good, good. We cut out everything else.

My whole brand is that I know about movies and I'm willing to go there. Are you one of those guys? Do you watch movies? Yeah, I love movies. Do you like movies? That's cool, man. You're that guy.

I'm that guy. The movies guy. You're a movie guy, Carl? You're a movie guy? I don't like entertainment in general, to be honest. Fair enough. I'm not into it. Why are you such a big fan of this?

Yeah. So we need to address a couple of little things from the episode. Fuck. This sounds ominous. People may have heard a point where, Carl, you say something and me and Cam then laughed for about a minute. And you didn't realise what had happened. Maybe the audience didn't realise, but just the fact that you said

the drunk cast is literally us crushing 17-year-old girls for an hour. Yeah. And you thought we meant like physically. When I meant metaphorically, that's what we absolutely do. What you meant was that you stage dive and you make them carry you around. But what it sounded like was you are out there rooting. No, that's what I meant. The opposite of what you just said.

Are you a fucking idiot or something? I am a fucking idiot, apparently. We do a podcast. Look, this is your first episode. You don't understand a lot about it, but we are massive root rats and we just get absolute playboy bunnies following us around to our live shows.

Do you like to throw a few ropes at girls? A few what? Ropes. Sling a bit of custard. Oh man, I don't know. Is this a Northwest Sydney slang? It's a Sydney thing. Go back to the baby rope stuff. We also should address, because I know that we'll get people ask us about this on the socials,

this forbidden, this Thailand content that we were forbidden from talking about with Doug. I think we all mentally made a note, we've got to ask about that off air and none of us did. So we don't know. Yeah, we don't know. that off air. Yes. And none of us did. Yeah. So we don't know. Yeah, we don't know. I've got a bit of an idea because I heard something afterwards.

But we don't. From someone who saw one of his live shows? Yes. Yes. Yes. So great advertisement for the tour. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go and see him and check.

Apparently he's talking about it in his stand-up. Right. And he wouldn't talk to us about it. But anyway. That's a fucking good tease. I should do shit like that all the time and try to get people in. Yeah. Oh, actually, no, I can't say that. But I can talk about it on stage. Oh. and also that's a fucking good tease I should do shit like that all the time and try to get people in yeah oh actually no I can't say that

but I can talk about it on stage so come check my show out nice and also is there a little bit of confusion because Doug's manager was chiming in and we

that's probably not really explained very well within the episode as well so if you heard a voice that you didn't recognise it was Doug's manager who and also

I just told both of you guys this, but we're doing this, like, what, two days after we did the actual episode. I just, like, half an hour ago saw Doug walking down Little Collins Street holding a Subway cup full of ice. So old habits die hard. Nothing's changed in this guy.

Nothing's changed in 48 hours. He doesn't have our number? We could have dragged him up another garbage bag full of ice. I'm literally chewing on ice right now. I could have been spitting it at Doug. I wonder if he even tapped into that garbage bag full of ice you gave him. Yeah. Or if he just went, no, fuck this.

Yeah. These two weird dudes. I wouldn't. Totally. No, I wouldn't. A bag of loose ice. It was a fucking haggard bag of, like, garbage bag full of ice by someone he's never met. Yeah.

Why would you fucking take that? Which, to be fair, he did request it from someone he's never met. Why would you fucking take that? But to be fair, he did request it from someone he's never met. If you had just turned up, like, unprompted, I'd put you in a large bag of ice. I was thinking about that. I reckon that they must have wanted you guys and us to bring our own drinks and ice for ourselves. Yes.

They did. And then when we didn't, they were just confused as to why ice was in the mix at all. Yeah, I think they thought that we were going to turn up and just want to get shit-faced for an hour. When we turned up with our beers, they were like, why would you not bring anything to drink? Yeah, it's like four in the afternoon.

We all have work. Okay, now I get what happened then. Anyway, so we should get into the Patreon for this week's episode. Thank you to everyone who continues to support the show. We send out rewards. We do little bonus episodes. We do magazines. We also read people's names out on the show.

That's the thing. You've come to join us in camp. Can't wait for this. It's like Romper Room, you know? I was on Romper Room when I was a kid. Were you? Yeah. Got in trouble for consistently pushing in on the balance beam.

I'd get off and then I'd run back to the front of the queue. Miss Kim had a go at me. Did you have Miss Kim up here? Down here? It wasn't, like, we didn't have a different host for each state. It was like, yeah, it was nationwide. I thought it was local. No, it wasn't like the news. That is like the local

cunt. It wasn't like, oh man, this fucking guy's not going to fly into state. You know, this kid, we wasn't like the news. That is like the local cunt. It wasn't like, oh, man, this fucking guy's not going to fly into state. You know, this kid, we can't have cam on. Like, no one knows in Victoria what a cam is. No, that's true. I've never seen Romper Room. I don't really know what it is. And as just happened then,

anytime someone starts talking about Romper Room, it takes me a good few seconds to work out that they're not talking about Romper Stomper. Yeah. It's very similar. I was on this neo-Nazi program when I was a kid. As a kid, as a three-year-old. Pushing in front.

You know who I was pushing in front of. You know who I was. Just a lot of three-year-olds want to get their names read out on romper stomper. I actually said, when I was on it, they said, they were like, do you have a girlfriend or something like that to me? Miss Kim must have asked that. And I said, yes, my cousin. Oh, nice. That's girlfriend or something like that to me? Miss Kim must have asked that. And I said yes, my cousin. Oh, nice. That's good. Yeah.

It's good. I've always been pretty open sexually. I think it's not national there. And you were on that show last week. Oh, come on, guys. Come on. Fuck you. Fucking cunt. How dare you do that? I'm the worst cunt. That's bad.

She's hot dude You can't really be angry About someone else Being into inbreeding though Like you going How fucking dare you It's like if someone Wants to do that

It's not great But it's just You know it's their prerogative It's not hurting anyone else Yeah I'm fine with you Doing it now That we've accepted I'll show you some pics too

This is such an open minded podcast Yeah Everyone do whatever you want man Whatever feels good Like we've only got a limited time on Earth. Dyslexia, overweight people, minorities, they all get slagged. But inbreds, we're prepared to give a pass to. Yeah.

Let's be pro-inbred from now on, actually. Let's be anti-people who are anti-inbred. Take a stand. Yeah. It's the easiest. You know, you always meet people at work. Well, you grow up with people. That's even easier to meet people.

Like, how easy is it to meet someone at home? You know what I mean? And most workplaces, they don't like you to, you know, you're not allowed to fraternise with the other stuff. You're very meant to meet people. There's no HR people at your own house. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Exactly. Yeah, all right. You wipe out Tinder. You've matched with everyone. There's no one left. You've got to people at your own house. Yeah. You know what I mean? Exactly. Yeah. All right. You wipe out Tinder. You've matched with everyone. There's no one left. You've got to cast your eye more inward. Yeah. Very inward.

This is really progressive shit. This is so woke. Yeah. As we're recording it, it seems unwoke. Yeah. By the time it's out. In two years' time, people are going to listen back to this and go, wow. I have no idea where we are.

Those guys get it. Those guys that all married their cousins get it. Rightio. So we got to – People are always like, you know, you want to have things in common. Well – DNA. Yeah, genetics.

The most in common thing you can have. A surname. Yeah. A mum and dad. Oh, good stuff. I'm officially tapped out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right up until that last 30 seconds.

And now you're super enjoying it. Too horny. Yeah. We've had a couple of beers. So, anyway, let's get into it. So, what we do is we officially read out some names of subscribers, some people who support our show, as a reward slash punishment for liking us.

And every week I crack out, but in the unplanned title alternator, and I very randomly pick out some names of people who are very much responsible for keeping the lights on in Dum Dum HQ. So, look, you're new at this, Cam. I'll try and explain it to you. Obviously, you can see this very unwieldy computer here that just pops out names at random

and you've been staring at it for the last 10 minutes going, what sort of fucking Matrix bullshit are you pulling here? I thought you must be hacking into a mainframe. Yeah, exactly. Yes, and. Here we go. Well, this is the unplanned title alternator, and it spits out names at random, and you're about to see the magic happen. So,

we do an unspecified number of names every week, so let's just see how we go. Look, you know what? You're the guest. You say stop whenever you want us to stop. Okay. So we'll just crack open now. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Mark Howles. Mark Howles.

Howles. Here we go. I'm watching you guys work now. Yeah, you get it. So what are you going to say to make fun of this guy? Well, H-O-W. I got you in. You're just an observer here, are you?

Mark Howes, Mark Growls. Who doesn't like to growl? If my last name was Howes, I'd want to fuck this guy. Oh, really? It's not, so I don't. Okay. All right. I see where we're going with this.

If you were Daddy Howes, you'd be like, this is looking nice, but you're not. So, no? No interest. That's the only reason you don't want to fuck Mark Howes. I've got no interest in rooting this man really not whatsoever this is a contributor

to our show so I don't want to offend him I'd like to withdraw that statement Mark I'd like to pull out Tommy wasn't thinking straight when he said

he doesn't want to fuck you I stand by it I don't want to fuck him Mark please I know Tommy's the editor of this show so I can't edit this out. He's going to edit it out.

But I want to stress that Tommy does want to fuck you. Please keep giving us money. I don't want to fuck you. Mark, I cannot make any clearer that he definitely does want to fuck you. So please keep shooting him the money every week because he's got a real thing for you. So let's make this happen.

Okay, this is a guarantee. Tommy, do you want to fuck this guy? All right, I want to fuck him. All right, all right. it tommy do you want to fuck this guy all right i want to fuck you all right you brought me down i want to fuck this there we go that's how all sex works yeah that's has anyone ever you know what we should try and make someone hook up via our patreon read match make match make someone encourage two people to oh that's a great idea oh match make two people. And they have to prove it. Yeah. Matchmake two people within this read tonight. All right. What if you got married via meeting on the Patreon read?

Just being on the same Patreon read on this episode. Do you reckon there have been people that have gotten married through your podcast? Ooh. Through being fans? I think there's definitely comedians that are hooked up with fans. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't think anything else has happened yet.

I have a podcast about Mike Myers called Mike Check. And apparently we got referenced in some wedding vows very recently. One of the guys said, I will love you even though I'm glad you stay with me, even though sometimes I'm giggling to Mike Check by myself and you don't know what's on. 100%. They will regret that when they look back at the video in five years and go, what was Mike check?

Also, you'll regret it for doing a podcast about Mike Myers. The worst cunt. Yeah, but it was a fun podcast. It's a great podcast. It's one of my favorites. Me and my housemate have an arrangement where the next wedding that we get invited to, we're going to both turn up dressed like Austin Powers. Like as two idiots who don't understand what formal wear is.

Like, we just think that's what a suit is. I hate it. Frilly lace cravat. Yeah. Big fake glasses. Yeah. That's all part of it. The male symbol around your neck.

Oh, my God. Our formal male symbol. I hate Austin Powers. I fucking hate it. It's the best movie probably ever made. It's actually no good. Nah, you're wrong. I'm very right. I talked about it for 52 hours. I think Austin Powers. I fucking hate it. It's the best movie probably ever made. It's actually no good. Nah, you're wrong. I'm very right.

I talked about it for 52 hours I think I know a little more about it. Oh God, it's so fucking painful. I remember watching the first one

and it being a bit of a cult underground hit and I watched it and went, this will be, as a concept, this is funny and I watched it

and went, this is fucking terrible and then when the second one came out there was all this hype and I was like, oh yeah, this will be cool and I watched it and got 10 minutes in and went, this is fucking terrible. And then when the second one came out, there was all this hype and I was like, oh yeah, this will be cool. And I watched it, got 10 minutes in and went, that's right, I hate this.

I fucking hate this. But you, I know you hate jokes of this nature, but you were, you're not in the age bracket. It's like a teenager's movie. You would have been like, like how old were you when the first one came out? No, first, yeah, first one I was early 20s. Yeah, that's too old. Yeah, for, like, 14-year-olds.

If you're making a movie that's too old for early 20s, then it might be a bit of a shit movie, I think. And what is the perfect age bracket for what we do, pray tell? He's hired. Three to four. Thanks, Mark. Thanks, Mark. Very groovy, baby. Oh, yuck.

Yuck. Get a load of Dr. Evil over here. I am loving this so much. You really stumbled into something for me. Man, yeah, fuck. You've hit a nerve. Who's the next guy? You've fucking hit a nerve.

Yeah. All right. Next contributor is, thank you to Patreon subscriber Brett Williams. Oh, big B Willie Patreon subscriber Brett Williams. Oh, big B Willie. Big B dub. Willie B. Willie B.

Good question. He will. Yeah, but Austin Powers sucks. Jesus Christ. What's another thing I hate? Yeah. Look. Do you like people called Brett? Oh, you've got Brett Blake, obviously. You're a fan. I do think hate? Yeah. Look. Do you like people called Brett?

Oh, you've got Brett Blake, obviously. You're a fan. I do think Brett's a good name. Do you? I'm anti-Brett. Oh, wow. Yeah. You don't like it?

Why? I just feel like it's a dumb name. It's a dumb name. I'm gluten free, so I'm not Brett. It's too close. Oh, my God. Anyway, I hate Austin Bowers, but I like that joke for some reason. That's good stuff. That's good stuff.

Brett to me is like a dumb name. In what way? Explain yourself. Brett. Sound effect? You're going to tell us more about this, Carl. What's the best name? His name sounds like a dumb sound effect.

If you say it like a dumb sound effect. All words are stupid. Not all of them. You can't be like helium. You just did. No, that doesn't come off. It doesn't come off. Helium.

That sounds smart. Oh, my God. Stupid hook. No, you've won me over. He sounds dumb. No, totally. Brett, nah, no good. Oh, sorry, Brett.

See, Williams is on an upward slant. It's fine. See, Williams, that's the bit I don't like. Yeah. I don't like Williams. Too white. Oh, really? Do you hate white?

Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how woke I am. I hate white people, man. Yeah. I love white people that hate white people. I think it's cool. It's really cool, isn't I hate white people, man. Yeah. I love white people that hate white people. I think it's cool. It's really cool, isn't it?

It's really cool. It's up there with male feminists. It's like the coolest thing in the world. It's a different level. Like, you know, if I can, in a couple of million years, when I evolve out of this troglodyte I am at the moment. Yeah. That's what I'll be into.

Troglodyte. It's a fun game. We should just just now the Patreon read is going to go for like three minutes each week say the name

say it in that voice Bob's your uncle we're out Bob yeah yeah you're right

Bob's good Bob love Bob yeah never seen a Bob's I didn't like yeah I'm obsessed

with Bob's alright thanks Brett alright thanks Brady thank you to Patreon subscriber scene of Bob's I didn't like. Yeah, I'm obsessed with Bob's. Alright, thanks Brett. Alright, thank you to Patreon subscriber. Well, he's our first chance this episode of Matchmaking because here is a female subscriber right now

so if we could matchmake her with Mark or Brut this could be something. Thank you to Nastassia Jones. Loving that first name. Yeah. No, it's not Nastassia.

Nastassia, unless I've typed this down. Nastassia. Unless I've typed this down very wrong. No, I'm correct. I'm correct. Nastassia. Nastassia. Jones.

See, you can't – it's dumb proof of Nastyassia because that's nice. Yeah, that is nice. Nastyass. Nastyass. Yeah. Why are all the names so fun to say? Now, who do you want to hook her up with? Nastyassia sounds like someone that we should be slipping a $5 into

rather than her giving us a $5. We've got to hook up with Mark Howes. Nastyassia sounds like someone that we should be slipping a $5 into rather than her giving us a $5. We've got to hook up with Mark Howes. Nasty Assia Howes? Are you kidding me? That's a great name. Well, yeah. You're saying that, put the $5 to slip it to her, like implying it's a bit of a stripper name.

No. But imagine if you were at... I implied that she's doing a podcast as well. I'm giving her a patron. If you're at the strip club and the DJ goes, please welcome to the stage, Nasty Ass. I implied that she's doing a podcast as well. I'm giving her a patron. If you're at the strip club and the DJ goes, please welcome to the stage, nasty ass. I don't think you'd be rapped.

No, I don't think you would be. You reckon? Do you think there's a lot of discerning patrons of Goldfingers or whatever that are like, no. She's had a big curry before she's come in here. Please welcome to the stage, nasty ass. If they said, please welcome to the stage, Ethel, and someone walks out in the nude, they'd be like, fine, we'll forget that name or whatever.

Nasty Ass. Apparently strippers should give themselves more common names. They get more money that way, apparently. Really? If it sounds fake, like Cherry or something, people are like, oh, she's too fake. But if she just goes out and her name's Jess, they think it's real.

A bit more of a chance that it's going to remember someone's going to be thinking of a long-forgotten crush or the girl next door. She might just be putting herself through uni and it feeds that fantasy. And it's the same with porn stars. If someone comes out and calls themselves Blaze, I'm like, no, I can't get a hard-on

to that. I didn't go to school with a blaze, so I'm not interested. Can't relate. Carl discerning dick Chandler. Exactly. You've got to impress me a lot to get some action down there. I hate any production value in porn. If it looks too real, I'm aware of the crew and stuff.

It needs to be a webcam and they need to be saying something like, I'm just sending you a video while you're away or some shit. Even when it's a bit gonzo as the term is. Love going gonzo. Gonzo is great. When they do that, when you can just see one person and another person and it's like

oh wow, this is real. This is real. But then I keep going there's a third person there. And that's even that's that's even weirder than there being yeah yeah no i agree yeah you just know that the third person is also quite dodgy and it's like is he is he jacking it while this is happening or he couldn't be no he's focused there'd be heaps of that happening there'd always be crew members ducking off for a quick fucking yeah yeah for a quick fucking squirt.

Or a cheeky squirt. Or a cheeky squirt. This is good that we're talking about this. Yeah. And it's been inspired by this fan of yours' name. Exactly. Nasty ass. Anyway, thanks, nasty ass-ia.

Thanks, nasty ass. Next up, all right. And remember, you know, whenever you want to call it quits, Cam, you're the… We've done three so far. I've got nothing to do. If you want to call it quits, Cam, you're the... We've done three so far. I've got nothing to do. If you want to call it quits within two, though... Let's lock it in and we're doing the whole fucking list. Whenever you... I mean, it's your choice. So if you want to do it within two, definitely just call it.

We'll just keep going. We'll see how we feel. If you do it within two, if that's your choice, you're the guest. Excellent. I'll decide maybe after a few more. If you want to do two more, that's completely fine. One of us has to show to run off and do, and you feel like two will do it. Yeah, sure. Well, we'll see how we go.

Whenever you want to call it within two, that'd be awesome. Right. It's fun hanging out with you guys. Okay. Two to go. Like you said, direct quote. Thank you to Patreon subscriber, unusual name. Here we go.

Thank you to Cameron Bone. Cameron Bone. Oh, yeah. Thank you to Cameron Bone. Yeah. Bit Oh, yeah. Thank you to Cameron Bone. Yeah. Bit of a weird name, but anyway. Yeah. I mean, Cam Bone.

Yeah. Wow. That is interesting. Got anything on that? Nope. Can't think of a single thing. You just think that's a completely not funny name? Normal name.

Cool dude. Yep. Cool dude, normal name. Right. Yeah. Because we found angles on everyone else. I just thought you might have an angle on that one. No, counts normal. It's not normal name. Right. Yeah. Because we found angles on everyone else. I just thought you might have an angle on that one. Sounds normal.

It's not like you to be so quiet. No, I'm just chilling out. Bone. Yeah. That's sort of funny, don't you think? I can see. I guess. Yeah, I can sort of see how.

Wow, that voice is getting high. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Chill, chill, chill, chill, chill. This is good stuff. Was this an unplanned title alternator? Was it perhaps at a wedding of someone that we know and maybe that's where it got this name from?

No idea. I don't know. This is unplanned as the title goes. So it's just completely random names that are popping up that subscribe to the show. Well, this is good stuff. I like this. You requested we do longer. You said you've got all the time in the world. Sure, sure. good stuff. I like this. You requested we do longer.

You said you've got all the time in the world. Sure, sure. I actually might have to start wrapping it up in a sec. This shares the same name as your first name. Yes, and the same last name as my last name. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What?

Yeah. But your name's Cameron James. I'm going public. I'm going public with it. Your name's Cameron James, though. Yeah. It is. This person's Cameron Bone.

Yes, it is. But you said yes to both of those things. Yeah name's Cameron James though. Yeah. It is. This person's Cameron Bone. Yes. It is. But you said yes to both of those things. Yeah, on both those things. It's a similar, it's a bit of a Tommy Dasolo, Tommy Allstop situation. Oh, so that's your real name. Yeah. Well, I'm being under this bus. That's mine. Cameron Bone. Thank you. So that's your, we're outing you, Cameron Bone.

It's not really a secret. Isn't it? No, not really. That's good then. A lot of my friends know. I grew up with the name. Some of your family know, I guess. Some of them. A handful.

And they're all hot, by the way. And I would fuck all of them. Whoa, nice. They've got a cool last name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It made growing up very horny. Oh, really? Did you change your last name because of that rule

where you're not allowed to do the thing to people that's in your last name? Yeah, that rule. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That rule we all know. So are you not allowed to James people now? Yeah, pretty much. Whatever the fuck that means. That's why he goes by Carl Chandler instead of Carl Fist.

Carl C. Handler. Yeah. I'm not allowed to handle any more C's Well, this is very clever of you boys Congratulations You're all very smart It's a lot like your beloved Austin Powers Yeah, yeah

This is very intelligent shit It's a long game too Like, here's your first appearance on the pod And we have 50 minutes We've unveiled it We got to the bottom of his real first name. Long-time listeners that have been listening for 45 minutes, here he is. Well, guys, story behind it.

Yes. When I started out doing comedy, I was so afraid of anyone ever knowing who I was in case I bombed. Right. Interesting. So I started going under that name. Right. Is that similar to you?

Did you do a similar thing, like to hide? No. You just thought it was a cool name. Yeah. Yeah, it is. Thanks, man. No worries, dude. Thanks, Bonesy.

Tommy Bone. Tommy Bone. Yeah, can I have it? Yeah, it's yours. It's yours. Tommy Bone. Tommy Bone's actually pretty cool. That's way better.

TB. Teabs. Oh, that hit me right in the Tommy Bone. That sounds a bit good. That's already a catchphrase. Fuck, I love it. So good. You've been boned, brother. Big boner. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That sounds good. That's already a catchphrase. I love it. So good. You've been boned, brother.

Big boner. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Walk off stage. You've been T-boned. You've been, yeah. T-bone's good. Yeah, but my fans

are all my little boners. Yeah, I should have kept the name, maybe. That's actually way better for marketing. C-bone. Yeah. It's sort of slightly confusing,

but it's sort of erotic in a little way. It's a little bit erotic, yeah. It's a little bit erotic. You're not quite sure why it's erotic, but it's sort of erotic in a little way. It's a little bit erotic, yeah. It's a little bit erotic. You're not quite sure why it's erotic. I mean, everything's a little bit erotic. I find that. I find that to be true.

See, dumb name. He's proved it. Brett Bone. Baby. Yeah. All right. Good. This has been fun.

So what else can we... Sorry, this has been our version of 60 Minutes. It's a real expose. Yeah, I'm glad it happened. This is that gotcha journalism that we love doing. Yeah, I love this shit. So glad I agreed to come here after my show and get treated like an absolute fucking piece of shit.

Hey, if you want to go and see Cam do any sort of comedy, just remember bone is the password at the door to get your slight discount, which will let everyone know that you've come because of the podcast Just remember, bone is the password at the door to get your slight discount. Which will let everyone know that you've come because of the podcast. Yep, alright, great. I'm a big bonehead. There's going to be a lot of lawsuits of people turning up to door, people

that aren't aware of this. I heard the password is bone. I'm a boner. I have a boner. I have a boner? Yeah, yeah. Honestly, if you do say that at the door, they will let you in for free at my show. And hopefully even the people who haven't listened to this podcast

will say that. They'll let them in. I have a boner. In you get. Well, I think we've upset you. It sounds like you probably only want to do one more of these. Yeah, yeah. That's what you said.

Fine, one more. Let's do it. All right. Let's get into it. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Cameron. We've done that one. Sorry. Done that one.

Done it. Move on. Next one. Should we do it again? No. Thank you to Patreon subscriber, last one, for this week. Right. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Mother Comedy.

Mother Comedy. Mother Comedy. Yeah, yeah. The energy drink. No. I guess. Mother Comedy. Yeah, yeah. The energy drink. No, I... I guess. Yeah, it's pretty good. I believe it's more like, you know, how there's Mother Teresa, and she's passed away, obviously.

Oh, yeah. This is the replacement, apparently. Ah. Yeah. I thought it was going to be like Old Mother Hubbit. No, no, no, no. So she's saintly. It's the patron saint of comedy.

Yeah, yeah. Great shit. Exactly. The way she treated the poor in wherever the fuck it was is what she's doing to us now. Real devil for detail. Mother comedy. Yeah.

That's what she's doing. Instead of washing poor people's feet and arms and stuff like that. She's doing open mics. She's giving five bucks to us a week. Yeah. so. So what was, so she was just, so,

because Mother Teresa washed poor people's. Mother T-Bone. She was very good. So what's Mother Comedy do? She gives us money every week. I reckon she goes

to open mics and gives notes to up and coming comedians. Yeah, that's, yeah. Like, close with the rape joke. Right.

Open with the pedo gear. Fuck, we could use that advice. Yeah, that's, yeah. Like, close with the rape joke. Right. Open with the pedo gear. Fuck, we could use that advice. Yeah, yeah. Always open with pedo gear. I'm happy to get the money from her, to be honest. Me too. Yeah. She doesn't need to give us any tips.

I mean, listening to this Patreon bit at the end of the episode, I mean, she clearly doesn't need to give us any artistic tips. No. So we just go straight to the cash. We're perfect. Yeah, I think. I think you can't... You could run a slide rule

through this episode and not see a bump, I think. It's sort of the spy who shagged me of podcasts. Oh, God. Don't say that. Just absolutely perfect. It's perfect in every way. Yeah. Mother comedy. Just helping the poor urchins

out of their hovels. That's us. Yeah. And giving us, I did say $5. What are you going to spend that $5 on? I'll just double check. I'm not sure if that is $5. It is, sorry, my mistake, $69 a month.

Oh, excellent. Okay. That's good. That's actually really good. That's a lot. That's a lot. That's a fair amount of money. That's the sort of joke that would be in Austin Powers, if I'm going to be honest.

$69, dude. I don't think that's a joke. I think that's very... It's a lot That's a fair amount of money That's the sort of joke That would be in Austin Powers If I'm going to be honest 69 I don't think that's a joke I think that's very It's a fact Okay Well 69 is a funny number In what way? You serious? Yeah

You guys don't know? No Oh dudes I mean I'm just thankful For such a large contribution Every month Yeah well I just immediately think

Give a little Take a little You know what I mean? How much groceries can I buy with that? Yeah. You buy enough to make more than one dinner.

How many dinners could you? Make a dinner for, well, I mean, you could make, you know, you get enough to make dinner for you and someone else.

Oh, nice. How many? So dinner for several people. So you'd cook and then you'd put it down and then you would've cooked a dinner for two. Okay.

Meal for several people. Yeah. That's catchy. Yeah. I guess you could say getting your dick sucked while going to town. Yeah, absolutely. That classic catchphrase. Right.

Yep. Yep. Dick and mouth, tongue and puss. Do you know that? Just the... Okay. All right. Are you all right?

Just some words I've never heard before. I'm a little bit confused, but anyway. Hang on. just uh okay alright are you alright I just I just some words I've never heard before that's all I'm a little bit confused but anyway hang on I'm dick in mouth

tongue in puss well now this sex act sounds dumb I don't want any part of it yeah yeah I'm into I'm more into highfalutin routine

yeah yeah yeah of course highfalutin routine that's sounds like a fucking weird rideotin. That's merch. Sounds like a fucking weird ride at Disney World. That's merch. Put that on a shirt or a tote bag.

That's a ride at Dick World. Something about a man who's been so critical of other forms of comedy over the last half hour, then going, saying through muffled laughter, more like dick world. And then continuing to laugh at his own life. Oh, it's so good. Let's, we've got to, you know how Banksy had that like theme park that he made?

I had a little like abandoned park that he turned into. We've got to do, we've got to have dick world. The Little Dumb Dumb Club presents dick world. had that like theme park that he made he had a little like abandoned park that he turned into we gotta do Dick World the little Dumb Dumb Club presents Dick World how many rides

would there be then obviously the whole highfalutin route 69 rides or if that's too many

six and then one that's like very very very nearly there so we're going to show you one of those

signs your dick must be this big to ride this attraction. Yeah, so Fluton Route is one of the rides. That's like the teacup ride, I think. Yeah, everyone goes on it. You can go on it with your family. And then you can get on the mad route.

Oh, well, thanks, Mother Comedy. Oh, yeah, thank you, Mother Comedy. All right. We'd better wrap it up for another week on Talking Dum Dum. Cam James, thank you very much for joining us. Thanks for having me, fuckheads. Whoa. Whoa.

I'm going to draw a line. Gotcha. Gotcha. You've still got your show at the Melbourne Comedy Festival? Yep. Seven o'clock at the Greek Centre. Come along and bring some fucking tabouli. Bring some fucking vine leaves and shit.

Smash a plate. I've done every racist joke you can do in that room. Yes, no doubt. It never goes well. Good, good, good. Come along. Seven o'clock every night. It's called Chilled Out, Fired Up.

Nice. Yep. We'veilled Out, Fired Up. Nice. We've got all our stuff on sale. LittleDumbDumbClub.com. Head there for the details and the tickets and everything. Guys, thanks very much for joining us and we'll see you next time. See you, mates. See you, mates. Nastasia.