The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 399 - Dave Hughes & Dave O'Neil

Episode Date: May 29, 2018

Back in our old home of Podcast City for a huge episode with DAVE HUGHES and DAVE O'NEIL. Hughesy is mortified to hear O'Neil's catchphrase for the first time but somehow finds the strength to carry on and tell us about visiting Singapore with a reality TV star, as well as dishing the dirt on his current tenants. We also dive into Karl's DMs in order to debut a little story that we've been obsessed with for many, many years. PLUS NICK CODY joins us for Talking Dum Dum!This episode is brought to you by Ship Station! Head to shipstation.com, click the microphone and enter the code DUM for your free trial!Don't forget, we have a bunch of huge live shows coming up:KOH SAMUI: The Koh Samui International Podcast Festival is happening again in 2018 with guests The Dollop! JUNE 13 - 18. For tickets, merchandise, links to our Patreon and heaps of other stuff, head to our website: littledumdumclub.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on The Little Dum Dum Club, a brand new episode with special guests Dave Hughes and Dave O'Neill. But first of all, we need to let you know that The Little Dum Dum Club this week is brought to you by ShipStation. If you sell things on Amazon, eBay, Magento 2 or your own website, then you need ShipStation. It's the fast and easy way to manage and ship all your orders from one place. And now you can try ShipStation for free for 30 days, plus get a special bonus when you use the promo code DUM, that's D-U-M, head to ShipStation.com, click on the microphone, type in DUM and make ship happen. Oh, nice. So this is free.

Nice. Well, get on. Yeah, you got nothing to lose. Get on and use it for free and use that special code D-U-M. That's nice. I might use it myself. Will you now? Yeah. Cool. Why not? If it's free. use that special code D-U-M that's nice I might use it myself will you now? yeah

cool why not? if it's free yeah fuck yeah you don't even need it you're just gonna go in no

I'll send something to myself we also have to let people know that the Sydney live show the 400th episode of the Little Dumb Dumb Club this Saturday June the 2nd at the Giant Dwarf Theatre

it is all sold out it's gonna be heaps of fun do get there on time because we are on a pretty strict schedule and we really need to get things moving. That's it. Be there on time. 8 o'clock on the dot. Get there well before. Get your beers in. Whatever you need to do. Plus, after that, we are going to go

out and have a few beers afterwards somewhere else. So if you are on the fence about whether you're going to have a beer afterwards, get off that fence. Commit to having a drink with us. We're going to lead a beer afterwards, get off that fence. Commit to having a drink with us. We're going to lead you like the Pied Piper. But instead of you being mice, you guys are pissed cunts. So, yeah.

Do that. And then after that, Koh Samui, don't forget that you've bought your flights or whatever to go to Koh Samui. So, that's June 13 to 18 with the Copenhagen Roadshow on June 19, of course, if you're going to make it that far. Still time. Still time to get in. Yeah.

Hey, you'll get the prize. We should fashion some sort of little prize where we get the last person who's committed to it. Yeah, love to. Let's do it. So, yes, all that stuff, littledumbdumbclub.com. You can find all those details. We will see you at the end of this episode for Talking Dumb Dumb

with a special guest. But until then, enjoy this great new episode with Dave Hughes and Dave O'Neill. Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo. And sitting next to me, the other again into the Little Dum Dum Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo and sitting next to me, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day dickhead.

Back in the old workplace. How good is it? It is good. If you can hear a particular sheen to our voice at the moment, it's because we are in the magnificent studios of Aus Stereo, which you can hear many very popular radio shows throughout the country, including one that one of our guests is the absolute star of. Let's get into the intro. All right.

Please welcome into the Dum Dum Club two great guests, Dave Hughes and Dave O'Neill. Hey, poops. Yeah. That's my catchphrase. You're not aware? Hey, poops. That's why O'Neill's not on radio anymore. What's going on here?

I'll say that when I'm next on your show, Hugh. I just don't think that is appropriate. Well, I said it so long ago. It was funny back then. Not anymore. What's going on here? I'll say that when I'm next on your show, I just don't think that is appropriate. Well, I said it so long ago, it was funny back then. You said it back when we didn't have any listeners and now we've got a lot of listeners. They've got 50,000 downloads.

I know they're big, they're popular. You told me that. And then you're saying, hey, poof. It's like a couple of days for Kondafura. It's like you saying you're a really great crowd.

It was 20 years ago, 30 years ago, and this is now and you're making a real catchphrase now. Just be decent, Don. Con the Fruiter is great, so don't diss Con the Fruiter, right?

I'm not. He did a gig the other night and apparently smashed it. Of course he would. He's a bloody true professional. He's very careful. He doesn't want to slag anyone off because of what's happened

recently in podcasts and radio stations. But I am here to be respectful of our building. We're in a building. I feel like we've got the angel and the devil on our shoulders. Well, exactly. I don't care. Someone's sucking off the company teat and someone is pissing into it.

No, I've pissed in every bed. I've shat in every one of these beds. Exactly. I'm never coming back here in a full-time capacity. My bed is still unsoiled. And we're on our best faith because anything can happen to us. We could get signed in here. The new Tom and Ollie.

Let's not mention Tom and Ollie. They're a great company. They're good. Their dad came and saw me with you the other night, one of their dads, and he said, I never really liked you, but you've won me over. That's what the dad of Tom and Ollie said to me. Me and I'm well-loved. No, you're not. That's what the dad of Tom O'Reilly said to me. Me, and I'm well loved. No, you're not.

That's a compliment, and I get that quite a bit. I won him over. Yeah, absolutely. How can you hate me? Easily. Homophobia being the big one. Maybe it was a poof. Come on, mate.

That's a joke. That's a 70s reference. Everything is being analysed. Every podcast is being analysed right now. Seriously. This could be your big break, O'Neill. Yeah, O'Neill. In the front of the Daily Mail,

there's Dave Hughes involved in a homophobic rant. Didn't say enough to shut it down. Never shut it down. You shut it down. You shut it down. All they've heard is that, and then they see who's the host, and then they just assume me and Tommy are gay.

Absolutely. And then they stick up for us and we're front page of the Daily Mail. I was with Scotty, I don't know the name, but I was with Scotty Cam. Clang. Oh, nice. In Singapore recently. Clang, clang. We were doing a gig for the Housing Association.

HIA. HIA, yes. Oh, it's been a bit of money. Pro bono or? No, we're always getting paid. It's all through the books. I've got no issue with that. But, and yeah, so half it goes to the government to build schools.

So, you know, I'm a great guy. But we ended up going on a day trip together, just me and him. You and Scott Cairn. Yeah, and he thought that other people were looking at us like we were a couple. So, yeah, it's like an elderly Aussie couple just seeing the sights. We went to an aquarium together. You sure you weren't spitting out gum on the footpath or something like that? No, you don't do that in Singapore.

Yeah, very plain. What did you talk about? Did you talk about handyman stuff? No, we talked about his house and his boat. He's doing very well. He's done very well. Oh, he has? Yeah, absolutely.

Who's doing better out of you and him, you reckon? Oh, housing-wise, him. Oh, really? Oh, God, yeah. No, he's set up. Mate, Sydney. Sydney. But you buy yours. He just builds them. Oh, yeah-wise, him. Oh, really? Oh, God, yeah. No, he's set up. Mate, Sydney. But you buy yours. He just builds them.

Oh, yeah, no. But he bought one in a very good place in Sydney. I mean, I won't say the suburb, but it looks out to the harbour. He's got a, yeah, he's done well. Oh, the Opera House. The guy across the road from him is trying to sell his house and knock back an offer. This is across the road from Scotty Cam. This guy knocked back an offer apparently for $30 million.

Knocked it back. Not enough Scotty Cam. This guy knocked back an offer apparently for $30 million. Knocked it back. Not enough. Scott Cam. Did you put in an offer? No, I didn't put in an offer, mate. So any like Australian tourists or expats that are in Singapore and see you and Scotty Cam walking around together, like what are they thinking? It was a double.

And it was an awkward moment when, you know, and it happened a couple of times to him and a few times to me where like, oh, Hughsey, love you. And then, you know, they wanted Scotty to take the photo, you know. And I had to go, hey, this is Scotty Cam. He doesn't know how to take a photo. He'll build a patio. This is the guy. He can build the photography studio that will take the photo in. The block of the most successful TV franchise this country's ever produced.

And he's the head guy, so no doubt. Was that part of the fee when you bought that house that you had to go on a date with? Were you just doing the settlement over in Singapore? No, but I did try to get some reassurance that I had done well with my purchase. He was backing you up on that? He was backing me up, saying, yeah, there's a lot of money spent on those houses. You don't see on camera because you don't see all the builders come in. He didn't really.

Well, you know, there's a lot of builders behind the scenes who are doing a bang. Do they do a good job? Is he a real builder or just an actor playing a builder? No, I mean, the guys who are. He's a handyman. The couple, is he? Yeah, he's got can. No, he's a builder.

He was, he, I mean, he is a builder. You mean the couples. Can the couples actually build a house? Oh, well, I mean, they can. They put in effort in, no, for sure. But there's guys, there's a builder. He is a builder. You mean the couples. Can the couples actually build a house? Well, I mean, they put in effort in, for sure. But there's guys, there's people behind the scenes who make sure that nothing's going to fall over. Jamie Drury. I don't think Jamie Drury is behind the scenes.

He's in the garden, isn't he? He's in the garden, man. He's stripping in the garden for some reason. He's got a rock hard rig, I imagine, Jamie Drury. So he'd be sick if he went back to stripping. He's just like, I'm out. I'm going back to my first true love.

I've got enough money now. I can just, you know, dedicate myself to my art. Back off, back off landscaping, back onto manscaping. Surely there's got to be a market for celebrity strippers.

That's got to up your corporate rate, doesn't it? I mean, didn't Warwick Capper do it for a while? I think he did. I think he did. Do you do stripping? He's available.

If you want Warwick, Warwick Capper this weekend, you can have him this weekend. Yeah, you can get him for open mic stripping, not professional. Just Google Warwick Kappa and he will turn up to your house. So you did buy a house off the block, off the TV show The Block? Yes, absolutely. Did you know that it was Channel 9, not the Home Shopping Network? No, look, it's a purchase. It's happened, you know.

You're renting it out? I'm renting it's a purchase. It's happened, you know. You're renting it out? I'm renting it out, absolutely. I heard they were partying pretty hard, actually. Oh, I was going to say, what are they like? Apparently, it's a surgeon and there's two doctors who, it's a family of doctors who live there. There's a mum doctor and a dad doctor. And they're partying?

No, they go away. For their kids, don't they? We met one of the kids on the street. A guy came up to us, remember, a few weeks ago. He was the brother-in-law. He was the son-in-law. Yeah, the son-in-law. So it's some ratbag kids.

It's a party house. With doctor parents. So I got plenty of cash. No, but they're doctors as well, apparently. So they've got money. But yeah, but doctors in their 20s. I think doctors in their 20s, they go pretty hard. Doctors in their 20s are living with their mum and dad.

Yeah, it's a beautiful studio out the back. Oh, right. Plenty of room. Separate entrance. So, yeah, I'd stay there as well. You'd probably stay there with Scotty. Well, yeah. So, Scotty's mate is living next door, actually, in Wombat's house.

Oh, really? So, yeah. But I don't know why wombat what happened to wombat or you know wombat you know wombat no wombat yeah wombat wombat built he was with the wombat and his mate sticks or something they were next door oh yeah they weren't a couple they were just mates sure sounds like some reputable builders to be buying a house is this the house the ferrells live in? Yeah. But on that, when I was-

Did anyone blow this house down? Blow the crow. But I did get the keys way earlier than I was meant to get them before settlement. So I used to go around there and just hang out. Yeah, I went around there with you once and you said we were not meant to be here. No, we weren't meant to be there. So yeah, and you were eating in the house. Dropping stuff.

Dropping stuff. So if you've still got the keys, just go around and if you've got a cough, just pop in and see your tenants and get them to give you a diagnosis. I have not been around since they've got the keys, but we would hang out there. Anyway, it's a great house. I didn't spend one night in that house. What were you hanging out O'Neill for in Newsy's future house?

Were you the expert to come around just to check out the kitchen or something? Yes. Yeah, yeah, sure. Interiors. I'm more interiors. No, in the early days of a Hughsey, we have a problem. Dave was my brains trust. That's right.

So we would formulate what was going to be on Hughsey, we have a problem, in the blockhouse. I'm the Larry David to his Seinfeld. Oh, nice. And I just would turn up with a coffee scroll and go, yeah, that sounds like a good idea. So you walk in day one on the whiteboard, it just says, open the show with hey, poofs. Yeah, hey, poofs. Immediate big red cross through that one.

Get O'Neill on. Hughsy, we really have a problem. Lots of problems. We had many meetings around in this area about, Hughsy, we have a problem. But it's been a massive hit, so it's coming back. It's coming back. It's a massive hit.

It's an overstatement, obviously. But, you know but it's been a massive hit, so it's coming back. It's coming back. It's a massive hit. It's an overstatement, obviously, but it's been well received. Yes. I'd like to think that the people that were stuck in that spacecraft 40 years ago when they were about to die in space, they thought, well, at least this catchphrase has paid off and Hughes will have a show out of it in 40 years' time. You mean the space shuttle? Yeah.

Did they die? Did no one die? No, no. In the space shuttle, they died. It was in the, no. In the space shuttle, they died. It was in the 80s. One of the space shuttles, they died. But Houston, we have a problem. That wasn't the 60s.

That was a Tom Hanks movie. Yeah, yeah. They came back. They came back. They were all good? They were all right. Oh, that's good. I should have researched it.

Yeah, yeah. Is that the bombshell from this podcast, that the title of your show is deeply problematic? Well, we checked it out. That's why we didn't call our podcast Tiananmen Square. We were very close. Yeah, you've got to be careful. You're relating to your own. Welcome back to Oh!

The Humanity. We've got a special guest today. But there's a history of that, you know, like Joy Division. You know what Joy Division is named after? Oh, yeah. It was the prostitutes that the Nazis would use. They were called the Joy Division. Well, we didn't know that.

Why would I know that? I thought Tommy Dazzler might know that because he's a music fan. Or a prostitution fan. Yeah, yeah. Spano Ballet is another bad thing. That's from Spandau Prison where they would hang a lot of Nazis after the war. Tune in, kids.

They would move their feet when they're hung and that was called the Spano Ballet. There you go. What did not know that? That has changed gold and true and all those songs. The meaning of all those songs. You know who loves these kind of facts is like the announcers on Gold FM where it's like there's a band where someone famously blew their brains out

with a shotgun. The announcer can't help themselves back announcing it, going, oh, pretty tragic, that band, anyway. At any moment in time, Dave O'Neill is auditioning for the rejig of Spix and Spix. Yeah. He's going to be driving along with this podcast and go, band anyway. At any moment in time, Dave O'Neill is auditioning for the rejig of Spicks and Specks. Some executive's going to be driving along with this podcast and go, let's do Spicks and Specks again with Dave O'Neill. O'Neill knows his stuff.

Big country, the lead singer. You were the most guest person. 53 times. I didn't count. Also, that new band, Five Hitlers of Summer. You know where that name comes from? You might be surprised. They're coming back, Five Sauce.

Are they? Yeah, apparently. Were they away? Yeah, did they go away? Apparently they'd gone away. I hadn't heard of them for a while. Years can go past. So you're big in America, aren't they? They're like prop, because they're one of those guys that I'm like, are they like Tina

Arena big? Are they big because Tina Arena says she's big? Or is she actually big? In Italy. Was she big? No, France. France, yeah. Megan Gale's big in Italy.

Oh, right. Yeah in Italy Oh right She was She probably still is I'm not sure And Kitty Sullivan's Yeah got movie deals In New York Remember that Kitty Sullivan

Kitty Sullivan The one we played Kitty Sullivan Went crazy These guys will never know About the Sullivans really I vaguely know I used to live next door

To the pub that they used Wow The retreat Yeah in Abbotsford Yeah Back in the 70s The Sullivans was amazing. Yeah, yeah.

Paul Cronin. I know that. Oh, yeah, the dad. Dave. He worked for the Brisbane Lions football team. That's true. There you go. He's retired, I think.

He was doing radio. You'd hope so. No, come on, mate. We want to keep going as long as we can, but I think he's officially retired. Oh, is he? Paul Cronin. Yeah, so don't bother texting him. If they're not named after some kind of genocide,

I'm not interested, to be honest. Well, speaking of that texting, now, you were talking about your show, Husey Has a Problem, that's on Channel 10. It's called Husey We Have a Problem. It's Husey We Probably Have a Problem. Husey Has a Problem. I get it wrong all the time. At least you had a go.

I appreciate it. It's got Husey's name in it. Yeah, absolutely. The bone bit, right? Yeah. Now, Dave, you worked on it. Dave and Neil, you worked on it. Now, there was a bit that we related to hugely.

Now, you gave out your phone number. I did, yes. And I gave out my actual phone number to the studio audience. So, it was up on the screen, my actual phone number. So, that was like 200 people there who got my actual phone number. And I wanted to give that number out to Australia, but my management were really pleading with me not to give it out. That's what you have management for, for fucking good ideas like that. So we changed, we actually changed the number for when it was broadcast.

Really? Yeah, that's true. But I got another phone, but the thing is I put my actual Apple password into the new phone, so the calls were coming through both phones. So, yeah, so I was getting every single call to my actual phone. And I had about 6,000 text messages within about 24 hours. Wow. I have still not listened to my message bank, actually.

I should do that. Yeah, you should. Are they all complimentary messages? I haven't listened. So I'm not sure. Most of them were complimentary on the text messages, yeah. But have you got – is that number still live? Are you still getting messages? It is still. I haven't listened, so I'm not sure. Most of them were complimentary on the text messages, yeah. But have you got, is that number still live?

Are you still getting messages? That's how we booked you for this. Last night, true story, last night, because the phone was sitting on my kitchen bench, the pretend one, the one that was the other number, because I eventually disconnected my Apple password from that

number, so I wasn't getting all those calls. But I answered it last night because it just rang last night. So I just answered it. So who was it? I said, I'm going to answer this. And I go, hey. And he goes, who's this? Close, close.

Who's this? And he goes, I think I've got the wrong number. And then he hung up. The guy bottled it. Absolutely bottled it. Nice though, because you answer it. Did his number come up? Or was it a blocked number?

No, I think his number come up. I haven't got the phone. If I had the phone with me, if I had known you would have asked that, I would have brought it with me, honestly. But yeah, so I could listen to one of the voicemails, couldn't I? Oh, you could? Yeah. Because you've given your number out, haven't you, Carl?

Well, I didn't give it out. One of my co-hosts, you could be anyone, gave it out about five years ago. Hey, poofs. Yeah. I still cop them every day. Every day, yeah. So I never change my number. That's why I was going to ask you, are you changing your number?

No, but I've never changed my original number anyway. But people just, they've stopped prank calling me. Not on the new number, they're still doing it. Yeah, yeah. On the old number, I really- Yeah, your number was people just, they've stopped prank calling me. Not on the new number, they're still doing it. Yeah, yeah. On the old number, they, I really. Yeah, your number was out there, definitely. Oh, mate, I would get calls in the middle of the night, but then they just stopped, you know?

Maybe it was one guy in prison or something. Maybe he died. People, so you're still getting people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that because they hear it from a podcast or something? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, right. Tommy read it out about five years ago.

And still. And so people go back and find that episode and still get, or people have just. Was it on a meme? Was it on a meme? put it on a wikipedia page and went around all that so that's that's when i found out i was getting fucking heaps of them then yeah but then i've got that wikipedia thing altered so that's no longer on there but still people have got access to that episode and by the way they still pick me up so it's generally all right but my rule is if it's a blocked number then you don't answer it because you know people are getting ready to do something stupid. Yeah. But if they give their number up, I'm like, no worries.

You know what? You're like a dog that showed your belly to me. I can get you. That's your weakness right there. So if I've got your number, you're not going to go too hard because you know I can get you back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

There's a mutual respect there. It's like for like. Yeah, exactly. But having said that, there are still people stupid enough out there to give me their number by doing that and then do something fuck because then like literally and i try not to talk about this too much because it just encourages people to of course do more stuff like i've talked a few times about the particularly you know good efforts like someone changed the uh what's it called guzman gomez in south yara to my number oh the mexican restaurant i talked about this a little while ago where they were how do they do what's it called? Guzman y Gomez in South Yarra to my number. Oh, the Mexican restaurant. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I talked about this a little while ago where they were- How did they do that? I don't know. But they did. It was on, like, it was a Google edit or something like that. So all I was copying was, like, people ringing up asking where their tacos were and, you know, their burrito would turn up cold and all that sort of stuff. That's a lot of fun if you could get that work, that technology.

Yeah, so I was like, all right, I'm sick of this. And so I started playing with it And it was at a time Where I think I was copying a lot When I was at a music festival With Dilra Do you know her Do you know her

Do you know her Do you know her Do you know her Yeah And I copped one Where it was this Really irate text message Ah

Everything's cold And how come I couldn't get this And this is missing And this is cold And whatever And I just took a picture Of Dilra Who was at that stage

Unconscious Drunk on the ground And said Sorry mate But this is the shit You understand And she actually went Yep fair enough Fantastic just drunk on the ground and said, sorry mate, but this is the chef. And she actually went,

yeah, fair enough. Fantastic. And he does look like he would be a chef at one of those places. He does. Yeah, but I have got some bad ones

and like I said, I don't like to talk about them too much because it encourages people, but fuck these people, just so you know, it's not cool, like it's not actually good and I don't put it up on the show

and I actively try and get you back for this, but someone rang me on New Year's Eve And said this is a Victorian police Both your parents are dead What? Brutal That's not funny

Did they put on a police voice? Or were they just People laughing in the background? Yeah they just left a message Oh okay Because it was right on New Year's Eve It's like aren't you supposed to be Fucking counting something down

You fucking idiot Yeah no that's not good I appreciate the commitment I really do Imagine if that's They thought. Yeah, no, that's not good. You appreciate the commitment, though, really. They thought of a story. Imagine if that's real and your parents have been dead for five months and you're just like, oh, they haven't called me for a while. I'm sure they're just busy.

How long before you realised that it wasn't? Did you ring them straight away or what happened? No, I just went, well, you know. So you knew it was a prank. Even if they were dead, I'm pretty sure the cops wouldn't be using December 1 at midnight to be giving me the news. But have you ever been run by cops and thought it was someone pranking you? That's happened to me.

No. You know, I got dobbed into the terrorist hotline for... Did you? Yeah, for filming on the Westgate Bridge. Why were you filming? We're doing a comedy sketch. Oh, of course. And a guy was hanging out my Volvo at the time, and he's filming me.

And then a few days later, this guy rings up. Oh, this is Detective Senior Sergeant Roger Davison from... I'm like, yeah, yeah, good on you, mate. I was working with you at the time and he's filming me. And then a few days later, this guy, this is Detective Senior Sergeant Roger Davison from, I'm like, yeah, yeah, good on you, mate. I was working with you at the time. I just hung up. Thought it was some, yeah, I thought it was you or Kate pranking me. And then he kept ringing back. I went, oh, what?

And he goes, no, I really am a police officer. And he just said, were you filming on this date in a silver Volvo on the Westgate Bridge? And I went, yes. Is that a crime? And he goes, well, you've been reported as, by the, someone reported me. Did he recognize you? No.

Not at all? Not at all. What show were you filming for? No, it was just, I was doing it for a comedy festival show, like a sketch I was doing. Did you say that you were from Nova or where you were from at the time? I said, I was a, I said, I said, are you, he actually said, are you a terrorist?

And I said, no, I'm a comedian. He goes, right. Okay. What are you going to film on the Westgate Bridge that's going to go into terrorism? Well, no, he said, and then I said. You've been looking for weak points on the bridge. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, exactly. I'm looking for structural points. Right, okay. Anyway, so I said, so are you a proper policeman? I just thought he might be a public. So he goes, no, I'm a proper cop. I'm sitting here and this is what I do all day. He goes, the number one thing we get in

Melbourne is people taking photos of the Rialto. They get a lot of them. They get people ring up saying people taking photos of the penguins. And so he has to investigate them. He has to find a weak spot in the penguin to blow them up. He has to investigate them. I wish, we're not, we can't, we just can't ask for calls right now. Even though we're in a radio studio,

we can't ask for calls. Because I'd love to just right now, just have the board line up. What have you tried to blow up? No, not what have you tried to blow up. Who has rang the terrorist hotline? Why did you ring the terrorist hotline? It would be interesting. Just get your phone and call back.

I might do that later on today. Do it today. Just open the show with it. Yeah, set up. We definitely talked about it on radio, Hughes. People rang up that had been dobbed in too. A guy who ran for a tram and threw a bag on. Someone dobbed him in.

Oh, no. Yeah. Oh, threw a bag on but didn't make it on. No, then he got on. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah. Well, that'd be different.

I think people just- It depends on, I mean, yeah, you can just throw a bag on a tram. I love that though. That's like, this bag is more important than me. It's more vital that this bag reached the destination than I do. You really need this bag to get to the depot before I do. Hughsy, just call back the last person who called you and just randomly ask him. When have you been dobbed in by the terrorist hotline?

It can happen. It's still active. I saw an ad the other day at the movies or somewhere. The terrorist hotline? Yeah, and there's a guy on the beach and he's watching people unload something. He gets his phone out on his surfboard. Oh, I'm going to dump that man. They're getting a bologna or something. My main point with saying that about the guy who's rung up and said my parents are dead is when people do that, and a few people have done that lately, when they do that, I try

and absolutely hang them out to dry. Yeah, fair enough. Because we've got a lot of listeners now. So I just put their number on all the social media and go, fuck this guy up for me. You know? Yeah. You know, you listen to the podcast for free, do me a favor and ruin this guy's life. That's tricky.

So if you're going to do that shit, no. It's legally not a great thing to do. That's what Ricky Gervais does, doesn't it? Yeah, he's always asking, flame this guy. He's had a go at me. Like a multi-billionaire. So you feel, yeah, I just feel it. I'll just be careful with that, Carl.

Yeah. Just careful with, yeah. At the very least. I love what you're doing, but I'm just, I'm worried legally. At the very least, do it from your personal account, not our shared one. I don't want to go down for this. I mean, you know, we've done radio where we get very abusive text messages. And I know one guy we used to work with used to ring them up in the break, in the song and go, I just received a text message from you and it wasn't very nice. Who? He's a sports presenter that I used to work with.

Anyway, he was working at one of those sports AM stations where they get the most abuse because it's all blokes in their trucks listening to these sports AM stations and just texting you. You're a fucking idiot. People get really angry. You were useless in the code you played in. Yeah. You can't have an opinion on sport if you're a comedian because I'll just go, you're not funny.

That's beside the point. My opinion's on sport, not whether I'm funny or not. I met a guy who worked at one of those stations late night and he rang someone up who kept texting like a nuisance guy, your shit, your shit. So he rang him up, left a message, right? The next day he comes into work and the manager goes, have you been ringing up our listeners and abusing them?

And he's like, nah. And he goes, well, have a listen to this. And then played back the message that he'd left for this guy. On that subject, I once was driving home and I was driving home from a TV show. I won't say what TV show, but I was driving home and then the announcer was having a go at the TV show that I'd been on. And so I sent a text message. I won't say any names, but I sent a text message to this radio station saying, I said, oh,

yeah. Was the TV show Ash Wednesday Tonight? No. Ash Wednesday Tonight? What does that mean? I don't even get this. Well, just another disaster reference. No, no.

Yeah, all right. Black Saturday. Hey, hey, it's Black Saturday. I think they had a red faces segment like that. I feel like, again, we're getting in trouble. We're getting in bad. It's bad. Where's the quick, where's the dump button?

He doesn't want to be associated with that. Yeah, but anyway, so I sent a message to this person, a text message, my number was in the system, obviously saying, you're all very good. You're having an opinion on that person when, you know, you're doing this radio show probably for free. You know, anyway, whatever. I had a crack at them and then they rang me.

They wanted to ring me live on it. So I'm listening to the radio and then my phone's ringing because the person on the radio station read out the text message, then said to his off-sider, let's ring him. And I'm like, oh, shit, they're going to ring me. And you didn't say it was you? No, I didn't. So they think they're just ringing some random dude.

Some random. That's great. And I'm like, God, do I answer it? I got home by this point and my wife's going, don't answer it. And I'm like, oh, God. Get her to answer it. You answer it. I didn't answer it.

And thank God that my name wasn't on the voicemail. And your wife used to do your voicemail too. She did. So they got her voice. But anyway, and then. She sounds like a lovely person. Why would she be sending in aggressive texts? She doesn't sound like a husey.

But anyway. That radio station blocked my number. So I could never give my opinion out again. Was it this radio station? It wasn't this radio station. Oh, damn. That'd be great. You defect over to that radio station just so you can unblock your number from within

the system. That'd be great. And like you're late one morning. Why didn't you ring? Oh, no. No problem. No big reason. Yeah.

Yeah, because at the ABC, they have a whole block section. You can have a look at it. Yeah, right. So when you're talking about a topic, say you're talking about, I don't know, rubbish on the highway, which is a big ABC topic, and all these sort of nice general ones, and then there's a block, and you look at that, and it's just like, fuck off, rubbish on the highway. They're all Hitler stuff and white supremacy.

Not you, you fucking. It's the immigrants. The immigrants. They're causing the rubbish. Not you, you Hughsy wannabe. I've had that one on the ABC. Oh, no, great. Hughsy wannabe.

Great. Good times. Yeah, why not wannabe Hughsy? Yeah, why not? Yeah, great. Husey wannabe. Great. Good times. Yeah, why not wannabe Husey? Yeah, why not? Yeah, good point. He's got a lot of money and talent. Yeah, a lot of houses, whatever. I've got a couple of houses, honestly.

There's a lot of people with bigger portfolios than I've got. Not me. Oh, mate, you're crying poor. Don't you love crying poor? Like he doesn't have a bloody $2 million house in Clifton Hills. Where's David Quint? What's your wanker? Seriously.

There's nothing worse than someone who pretends that they haven't done well to appear to be one of the common people. Yeah, exactly. He's got to finish this pretty quick to go up to another couple of six grand corporates in the afternoon. Yeah, scooping it all up. Not six grand. Where Dave O'Neill truth is on this podcast.

We've been trying to lift the lid on this asshole for a while now. The only time I say where I live is when I do real estate agents and I I always go, I live in Clifton Hill, and I always go, in a massive house, I've done all right, haven't I, guys? And they always, they love it. They go, yeah, he's done well. He's done Clifton Hill. Real estate agents. You know what you sound like?

A real wannabe Hughesy. Yeah, a wannabe Hughesy. I do sometimes say, I've got a massive house, and I sometimes say, not as big as Hughesy's. That gives a good laugh. So many comedians use me as a punchline. The kid's going bad, I'll just drop in a Hugh's. Sam Simmons in his award-winning show, he won the Barry and the Edinburgh one,

the Perrier, whatever it's called now. One of his punchlines is, you know, you should do Breakfast Radio. And he goes, yeah, I wouldn't mind doing it to get Hugh's money. So he just drops into your voice for like two seconds a round of applause yeah but you know what he does what Simmons does

he goes and stands up he puts a violet crumb up his ass and when people don't give him a standing ovation he goes

oh you fucking like it if Husey did it it's like no you just stuck a violet crumb up your ass it's not a big punchline

at the end of it well David Thorne does it as well does Simmons do that they both do that do they they've got a bloody fight off on who owns the Uzi material.

Yeah. You've got to copyright the whole voice and everything. That would be amazing. Every time Thorne whips it out, you get a cool couple grand. Yeah, like Mickey Mouse. All those things are copyrighted.

Mate, Thorne was doing it a lot on his radio show. Did he do a segment? I know, but often people would think that it was actually me and they were rating really well. I rang him at one point and said, mate, come on, I need some of these ratings

that you're getting for bloody doing me. Two ladies who already bought three houses by then. This is like people getting done for cultural appropriation. Thorne's just like, it's a tribute. It's a loving tribute to someone that I love. It's black voice. Huge voice. Good point.

All right, dropping in on the middle of this episode to let you guys know about ShipStation. Oh, that thing I'm definitely using for free. So you haven't done it yet? No, I had to talk to Dave Hughes and Dave O'Neill, but after we finish with them, maybe. We've left the room with them to go and record this, and then we're going to have to quickly do this ad

and then run back into the room with them. Well, we couldn't afford to get Hughesy to talk about ship station. But I will. Nick Cody's here doing the ad with us. What a surprise. Wow, this is confusing. When we get Hughesy, I thought, I'll come over, talk about it. It sounds pretty good. You're not getting any of the money for this ad, I. What a surprise. Wow, this is confusing. Can we get Hughsy? I thought I'll come over, talk about it. It sounds pretty good.

You're not getting any of the money for this ad, I'm sorry to say. Oh, fuck. What is it? ShipStation. ShipStation. Do you sell on Amazon? No. eBay?

Magento 2 or your own website? My own website I do, yeah. Please don't interrupt. This bit's highlighted, which means I have to read it verbatim. To be fair, you were asking a question while you were facing Cody. That was just theatre of the mind. Right. You need ShipStation.

It's the fast and easy way to manage and ship all of your orders all from the one place. So whether you're using any of those websites that I said before or Shopify or over 100 other popular selling channels, ShipStation brings them all into the one place, making them easy to manage from any device, even your mobile phone. Nice. Then you can use ShipStation to create shipping labels for all of the top carriers, including

Australia Post. And with ShipStation, you can ship more in less time with the best rates available. So that's good stuff, I reckon. Nice. That's great. If you want a Nick Cody loose unit stubby holder or something from a website. Could I send that? Yeah.

Using ShipStation? Yeah. Yeah, you could. Or the baby bibs. Yeah, but the punters out there website. Could I send that? Yeah. Is it a ship station? Yeah. Yeah, you could. Or the baby bibs? Yeah, but the punters out there can't. Oh, okay. So this isn't just,

like, we're recording this ad for other people, not just you. But you can. You can use it. Yeah. When they say a hundred other popular selling

channels, it says in brackets, excluding nickcody.com.au. Oh, wow. Yeah, sorry about that. That is specific. But you know what, Which is why I got

.co.nz. That makes me like this. That is specific. But you know what? Which is why I got dot codon nz. That makes me like these. Found a little loophole around this ship station bullshit they're trying to get me on. That makes me like these guys even more.

Yeah. You know? Yeah. The fact that they've got Cody geo-blocked from their service is sick, I reckon. Awesome.

So, guys, get the free trial. Yeah, let's say that again. You can try Ship Station free for 30 days, and you get a special bonus when you use the promo code DUM, that's D-U-M. To get this special offer, you head to ShipStation.com,

you click on the microphone at the top of the homepage, and type in DUM, that's ShipStation.com, promo code DUM, ShipStation.com, make ship happen. Nice. Shiphouse. So, very confusing. Nick Cody has jumped in the middle of this ad. We're going to go back to Dave O'Neill and Dave Hughes.

But then surprisingly, Cody is here to be part of Talking Dum Dum later on in the episode. All right. So yeah. Back to the episode. Well, we've been wanting to talk to you about this, Yuzi, for a while now. This is like a little thing that me and Tommy have now. Look, you're generous enough to come and do the rooms

that we've run now and again. Tommy used to run a room. I run a couple of rooms. Thursday nights at the European Beer Cafe, Saturday nights, spleen on a Monday. When's that either? Grandview? Yeah, well, there you go.

Dave O'Neill runs his own. Yes, that's good as well. And Tommy, that room in... It's still going, but I don't's that other Grandview? Yeah, well, there you go. Dave O'Neill runs his own. Yes, that's good as well. And Tommy, that room in... It's still going, but I don't run it anymore. Yeah, right, right. So we won't talk about it. We've got a bombshell exclusive on the podcast, everyone. I've dropped off.

It happened six months ago, but it's an exclusive. It was a takeover. It was ugly. Would you get pushed out? No. So you left voluntarily? I left voluntarily. That's just a pain in the ass running a room.

Yeah, and I understand that, but I'm just, you know... Guys like you cancel for 30 grand gigs in Thailand or wherever. They're very rare for those of us. Very rare. Very rare. I used to run a gig called Felix Bar Comedy in St Kilda. Oh, God, yeah. It was sort of your local almost because you live close by or whatever.

Before we move on with that, I've got one story from Felix Bar, which is around the corner from my house And Chris Franklin, who people might know The bloke The alcoholic bogan Absolutely, one night There's a character Yeah, that's his character

He actually got scurvy The last person to get scurvy in Australia Captain Cook before him He was so proud of never having any vegetables or fruit That he actually got scared. I know, I remember. It was incredible. Anyway, one night I was doing your gig at the Felix Bar and he goes to me.

He was like probably had about 10 stubbies at this point. And I said, oh, yeah, he was not living in Melbourne. I said, where are you staying tonight? He said, I don't know. I said, oh, yeah, all right. And then I thought, God, he wants to stay at my joint. But I didn't want him to stay at my joint because I just had a baby. My wife had a baby.

You can't bring Chris Franklin. And I had to do breakfast radio. So, look, if I have to leave in the morning and then there he is, you know, in his bloody singlet with my wife. And this is weird, you know. You're scared he'd be the real bloke of the house. So, that next morning I was on radio and early in the morning and I thought, I wonder where he did stay last night.

So, I rang him and I said, you know, live on air, where are you? And he goes, I'm under a bridge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You sure that wasn't a song request? No, he was under the Westgate and O'Neill was filming. No, he spent the night out and about. Yeah, he does. He does. He sleeps in parks and stuff. He's so drunk.

I do remember that. I do remember that. And I remember you coming out going, no, I think Franklin wants to stay at my house. I'm going to sneak off. Don't do the voice, Carl rat. I do remember that. I do remember that. And I remember you coming out going, I think Franklin wants to stay at my house. I'm going to sneak off. Don't do the voice, Carl. Don't do the voice. It's appropriation. It's not cool. But he did do that because I remember I then ran a gig

the next night and then he turned up. I think the bar owner found out that he'd slept under the bridge and felt really bad. He hadn't said, oh, just sleep under the bar or something like that. So he then said, oh, you can come and hang out here from like when I opened the doors at 11 o'clock. And so he just hung out there all day. And then the bar owner rings me to go, have you got another gig for him or something?

Get him somewhere else. Get him out. But that doesn't run anymore, Felix Bar Comedy. But that was when you used to come down there. That was great. I do remember thinking that's what was a point of difference between you and other headlining comedians, I thought, because a lot of comedians come into a gig and hide in the basement or hide in the kitchen. Yeah, I'm right here.

You sit in the front bar. You sit right in the front. Oh, mate, I'm very happy to get there. Everyone's walking by and going, fucking Yuzi, yeah. I love it. Yeah. Although I did, again, on Fitzroy Street one night. Again, and that's not a great street to do it on, I would have thought, but yeah.

Fitzroy Street. I think I was going to your gig one night on Fitzroy Street and I was walking down the street and a woman ran out from another bar and said, oh, my God, it's Yuzi, you know, my friend's birthday, this is going to be amazing if you can just come in and say g'day and it'll make her life. And I was late for the gig and I said, all right, I'll go in and say g'day.

And so I said, but I can't stay long. So I went in there and she dragged me up to this woman. It's her birthday. And she said, it's Yuzi. And the woman said, who's that? I don't know who this is. And the woman's saying to me, I'm sorry, I don't know who you are. And I said, I don't want to be here.

Which is really the point of, I just don't know who you are. It doesn't matter. Let me go. Let me go. My friend is a fat guy with a big grey beard, and he was walking through Sydney recently, and a woman ran from across the street and goes, oh, my God, I love you on radio, Kyle Sanders.

Kyle Sanders. It's like, it's all wrong. I was in Perth once. The Colonel. Yeah, with Glenn Robbins, and this guy comes up, obviously a bit affected by drugs, and he goes, I love you. Can I get your autograph?

And Glenn's like, that's very old school, an autograph. Especially if it's a book of them where he's got like 50. That's sick. Yeah, you occasionally see those guys. It's just after Val Julay's autograph. You know what? The only time you get autographs is after Logie's. Seriously. Oh, really?

The Logie? Yeah. The morning after Logie's on a Monday morning is a special breed of person that lingers at Crown Casino. Anyway, he goes, can I get your autograph? And Glenn goes, yeah, sure. And then this guy goes, have you got a pen? It's like, no, no, no, no.

And so I intervene as like his security guy. I say, mate, it's okay. We're around here a lot. We'll be back tomorrow. Same time. Just come back with your pen and that. And the guy goes, oh, no worries. Who are you anyway?

Jesus Christ. Because you can't win in that scenario. Because even if you do have a pen, then that guy's story is, this guy's so arrogant that he's carrying around pens just in case people ask. Funny. Now, look, so like I said, we've all run rooms. Did you ever run a comedy room? I ran, oh, I did once, yes.

I ran a comedy room in Richmond at a pub in Richmond. Where was that? Oh, it was towards Victoria Street. Yeah, only for about a month. Oh, God, it was a pain in the ass. Oh, not that one. Was it called the All Nations? It wasn't the All Nations.

I can't remember what it was called. But the best, what you've got to do, and as you know, we're running a comedy room. You really want the pub to kick in some money. Yeah, yeah. So you want the pub to put some money every week so that, you know, before anyone pays at the door, you've got a bit of money. So they were doing that for a month.

And they said, we'll give you a month. And that lasted one month. Bring it back. Use his fun out. You've got a spare hour in the week. You can run a gig. But again, it's awkward when you run a room. It's like doing a TV show where you're like.

People hassle you. You're like, how many people in this room haven't I booked? Yeah. I mean, I can only. Yeah. So doing a TV show is the same thing as in like all your comedian mates. The answer is me and Tommy. We're well aware.

The people you haven't booked for your TV show. That's the answer there. The TV show, you blame it on the network. You go, ah, the network. It was a network. No one believes me. It was a network. I've copped that one before.

Yeah, yeah. So you know It's difficult Yeah You've got to deal With a lot of people Especially people That you don't even know

Or whatever You would have copped That like open mic Is in your comedy room Well these days On social media You're very contactable When you're in a room

Totally I guess in the old days It used to be You had to turn up You had to turn up Yeah So I would cop I still cop so many people

All that sort of stuff Now what I got A while back was I copped someone trying to ask for a gig to the Felix Barr comedy page. Now, the thing is, that gig hasn't run for two or three years. Yeah. But they found the page on Facebook and it says, all over the page it says, we do not run anymore. Final gig, 2005 or 2015, whatever it is, no longer running, final gig, all that sort of stuff.

Profile pic is just an image that says, we're done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a lethal. I reckon that's longer than three years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's probably three or four years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I copped a message like that asking for a gig.

And so I just want to, now this is something that me and Tommy particularly love, and you've got like a bit of an involvement in it. Yeah. So I just want to read out some of the transcripts of it. So this guy hits me up. Hi, to whom it may concern. My name is Redacted and I'm interested in performing at the next open mic event at your venue. Again, it wasn't open mic as well, but anyway.

Whatever. Yeah. How can I get a spot? Thanks. Here's my email address. I go, hitting up a comedy page on Facebook without coming to the venue or reading any of the details is absolutely the best way to do it. You're in for next Friday.

And the details on the page is we do it every Wednesday as well. He goes, sorry, but I'm working next Friday night. I've got knocked back. So I go, okay, let's make it Saturday. And he goes, Saturday, August 9. I go, sure, probably. It's not a paid gig, but I can offer you three free tickets, 30 free tickets to Radiohead's next show.

Is that okay? He says, yes, that would be great. Thank you. Thank you. What's your name? And I say, Rick Mitchell, because that's the name of a very annoying open mic-er at the time. Rick Mitchell.

The punchline to that would be, every time, because I run a lot of rooms and I do the podcast, all that sort of stuff, everyone tends to think I'm like the switchboard that I know everyone in comedy. So what's Husey's number? What's Dave O'Neill's number? And I got so sick of it that I went, you know what? I'm giving out Rick Mitchell's phone number from now on. I'm going to have to bleep his name.

And no, he doesn't do it anymore. So I would put that out to everyone. So this guy must have copped so many calls going, hey, Akmal, do you want to come and do this gig? Is this Jamal? He probably turned up to a gig. I would have gone, yeah, I'll do it. I still remember the time I tried to call Michael Chamberlain to ask him something and bugger me down,

who should pick up the phone but the great man Rick Mitchell. I did do it to everyone. Yeah, I copped it once. So I say, Rick Mitchell, and this guy goes, okay, so this is just a five-minute spot. And I say, no, 45 minutes. He says, okay, but at this point, I'm only in the five to ten-minute range. He says, and I say, well, you blew it, buddy.

I need a great headliner, and I thought you had it in you. I don't have time for silly buggers, okay? I will be emailing every comedy club owner about your charlatan like behaviour. You will rue the day you missed with me, Rick Mitchell, phone number 0423 and then gave out his number. So he says,

he says, sorry Rick, I was only enquiring about five minute open spots as I am a new comic. Am I still able to perform perhaps a support spot, for example? And I said, okay, you've got a silver tongue, buddy, and you've talked your way back into my good books. I have a 43-minute support spot on the same night.

Are you available? He says, I am available to perform. But because, I don't know if I've mentioned this, I'm new, I only have 10 to 15 minutes of material. So he's up to it. He's written another five. He's written five minutes in the course of this conversation. He might have five minutes on Mitchell at this point. He's starting to believe in himself.

Build it and they will come. It's the secret. He says, what if I get someone else and we can share the bill? I said, oh, do you know comedians? Who? Do you know Hughsey? He's very popular in Australian comedy. He says, no, Michael Connell. It's a bit of a step down. A bit of a step down. Who? Do you know Hughsey? He's very popular in Australian comedy.

He says, no, Michael Connell. It's a bit of a step down. A bit of a step down. I said, well, if you know Hughsey, you could do like 35 minutes, and he could do 10 minutes of support. Could be a great solution. He says, don't you mean I would do 10 minutes? Don't you mean I could do 10 minutes and Michael Connell could do 30? And I said, who is Michael Connell?

I said, Dave Hughes. Listening is a very important part of Australian comedy. You're torturing this poor guy. We need to get this guy. You need him on your podcast. I love this guy. I really love this guy. He's a go-getter.

He says, I don't think he does comedy anymore. You've got his number? No, this guy still does comedy. Can you bring him? We want to talk to him. Let's finish this. All right, yeah. He says, I do not know Dave Hughes.

Unfortunately, I do not know any high-profile comedians. At this point, I can only do a five-minute spot. So he's gone back there. I've knocked the wind out of him. Poor bugger. Which is obviously not what you want. So I will leave it there and keep getting new material Until I have a solid hour

Thank you Rick, sorry for wasting your time I say, okay, thanks Jake, see you next Saturday I'll light you at 40 Rick, Rick I do not have 40 Rick, I do not have 40 This is the best thing I've ever heard You need to publish this

This needs to be published. Rick, I do not have 45 minutes set. I can only do five to ten minutes. I say, huh? Why did you say you could do 40 minutes then? I've already printed the posters. People are excited to see Hughsy. What am I supposed to tell them?

If I'm him, I'm going going Who's this printer you use This is incredible Turn around time Is he in on it He's not in on it Is he No I don't think he's aware

What a straight baddies player Oh god He says Rick I'm sorry But I can't do a I can't do a minute set So I don't know where

Now he's currently He's losing it He's shedding minutes By the second I cannot do a minute set He's giving up comedy At this point And I don't know where he's currently at. He's shedding minutes by the second. I cannot do a minute set. He's giving up comedy at this point. And I don't know Dave Hughes.

I hope you realise that. I hope you are joking. I said, mate, I go, mate, I didn't get into comedy to be around jokes. If you can only do 35 minutes, tell me now and don't beat around the bush. He says, I can only do 10 minutes. What a rollercoaster. don't beat around the bush. He says, I can only do 10 minutes. What a roller coaster. He's all over the place. I say, okay, okay, I get the message, Jake.

Do you know any songs? I need you to stretch to 15 to 20 minutes minimum. I've only ever seen Hughsy do five minutes on the gala, so I have a feeling we can't rely on him to do any longer. He says, I can try to stretch to 15 minutes, but no more. And no, I cannot do any songs. Okay, well, I assume you and Yuzi will be arriving together. Maybe work out a song in the car. Doesn't have to be a duet.

Maybe he can sing and you can rap in the background. Up to you. I don't want to be some big boss guy. This is Homer's Odyssey. Yeah. He responds with my favourite, our favourite bit of the whole transcript, which is the simple sentence, I don't know Hughes. Not I don't know Hughes-y, not I don't know Dave Hughes, but I don't know Hughes.

I don't know Hughes. Which we are fascinated by. I love this guy, honestly. I don't think anyone's ever said to you, no one describes you as Hughes. No. Just so you know, the whole time we've been organizing doing this podcast today, all of our communication has been, are we on for doing the podcast with Hughes? Hughes.

He says, I don't know Hughes. When did this happen? When did this happen? This was a couple of years ago. Oh, I love it. I want this guy still to be alive. He is. I've seen him around.

You have. He's still around, apparently. I want to know how many minutes he thinks he has now. Have you seen him on stage? No, I haven't. I haven't. Tommy, have you seen him on stage? I haven't seen him on stage, no.

All right, so here comes another highlight. So we love I Don't Know Hughes. This has been something we've talked about for two years already. If I still ran my gig, I'd be booking this guy. Oh, definitely. For five minutes. I'll put in a word to the new runners. From now on, when I have Hughes here as a headliner, I'm just going to put Hughes.

Sorry. Do you know him? I don't know Hughes. I don't really think you should publish an exchange. At least in the Australian comedy community, this would be a lot of fun. It's like shit my dad says. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shit an open mic says.

Yeah, right. So he says, I don't know Hughes. I say, if Hughesy doesn't show, I don't know what to do then. If you only have 15 minutes, what happens in the other 25 minutes? Do you have a projector? What's your favorite episode of Fawlty Towers? We could play that. Which one?

The Manuel episode? Whoops, I fell over. He says, Rick, I don't know Hughes, and I can only do 10 to 15 minutes. Let's back up. So then he says this. He says that, right? And then he says the next line, which we are also in love with. He says, Rick, I don't know Hughes.

I can only do 10 to 15 minutes is everything rick is everything rick he's obviously meant is everything okay rick and forgot the okay but he said is everything rick to which i respond everything is rick he's worried about your mental health well there you go there's the name of the book right there everything is rick that's the self-help book. Is everything Rick? So what was the exchange? Was that over a few days or was it just one back and forth? That's one sitting. That's one sitting. That's one sitting.

Was that back and forth? Yes. In one day. In real time? Yes. Like live? Yes. Great.

So it was like a live chat? Yes. Yeah, right. I'm intrigued by how that all went down. You just heard how it all went down. I love it. I love it. So. Yeah, right. I'm intrigued by how that all went down. You just heard how it all went down. I love it. I love it. So he's still around.

I don't know whether we should reveal the name because he's a new over-micro and it was, look, some people might think that's a bit mean, but I was at my wits end. You get hit up by Simon. You get a lot. That was just funny. That was just fun. That was a bit of fun. Yeah, no.

If he can't handle that, he shouldn't quit comedy anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he's got to be. Oh, God. Well, tell me off air then. I really want to know who it is. I want to see a photo of him. Yeah.

I'm so glad after us discussing that for many, many years now, I'm so glad that it's out in the public domain. I feel free. It's the first airing of it. Yeah, I feel free. I feel free. It's a big weight off our chest because we were scared. We thought maybe you might find a fence in it or something.

No, no. I find a fence in many things, but not that. Yeah, we thought we'd come in here and maybe we'd read it out and then everything wouldn't be Rick. It's a relief to know. And then, Yuzi, can we just get you to sign off? Yeah. You know what?

Everything is Rick. He said it. He said it. God, I'm glad I know Hughes. And that guy will know Hughes as well. Yeah, you'll know Hughes. You want to hang out with him. He will know Hughes.

It's my life mission now. You put it out into the world and then great things can happen. After reading that, I think it's pretty clear that he doesn't know Hughes and he has a problem at the moment. Oh, man. That was great. I'm exhausted. I feel like a cigarette after this.

I know. This is where you'd play a song. And you've got the outdoor bit, guys. You can go out there. Exhausted. I feel like a cigarette after a smoke. I know. This is where you'd play a song. And you've got the outdoor bit, guys. You can go out there, you know. Have a smoke. It's where Martin Malloy used to hang out, I imagine. Oh, nice. Until they got some crane on the roof, apparently,

because they didn't want to talk to any executives. No, they weren't on this building, though. They were in the old building. Oh, whatever, mate. Just let me imagine. They did, though. They got a building humpy, and they didn't want to talk to the executives. Yes, they got their own little thing outside.

That's the dream. That's kind of like what we have. We just don't have execs around. Yeah, you don't talk to executives. Just cut out the middleman. That's the easiest way to not talk to them. Us and Chris Franklin, we have outside. The office is under a bridge.

I don't know, Franklin. I think we better wrap it up because we can't peak. We can't get past it. No, that's hilarious. That was great. Yeah. Well, Dave O'Neill, thanks for joining us. Thank you.

Hughes, thanks for joining us. I should plug my podcast. I've got a new podcast with Glenn Robbins called Somehow Related. Right, yeah. Where we get two topics and we have to work out how they're related. Hughes and Rick. Like Hughes and Rick, for example. Yeah, you did it the other day.

It went well, did it? Yeah, it's good. Yeah, good. I'm going to check that out. We did Rudolph, Hairston, Rick, for example. Yeah, you did it the other day. It went well, did it? Yeah, it's good. Yeah, good. I want to check that out. We did Rudolf Heston, Olivia Newton-John. Yeah, that's weird. There is a connection.

You've got a real Nazi thing going on. Yeah, I know. You've got to get rid of the Nazi thing. And also, the previous one, I read it online because I know the link already, but you had Fanta and Nazis. Fanta and Nazis.

Yeah, there's a connection there too. What's wrong with that? I know. Glenn Roberts said I've got a very big knowledge of Nazis. It's just music, Nazis, and junk food. Hits and memory and der Fuhrer.

But yeah, quickly for people at home. What's the link? It's like they couldn't... The Nazis couldn't get Coke into Germany. That's right. And so they used old fruit peeling or something to make Fanta. That's right. It was made in Nazi Germany because they couldn't get Coke. So Fanta was around in the 40s. Yeah's right. It was made in Nazi Germany because they couldn't get Coke.

So Fanta was around in the 40s. Yeah, yeah. It was invented in Nazi Germany. I don't think it was even orange, though, was it? It was called Fantese. Yeah, it was like a... Made in Germany for fantastic. Yeah.

So if you drink Fanta, you're a white supremacist. Basically. Basically. But the Oliver Newton John and Rudolph Hess ones, he arrested... You know, Rudolph Hess was the guy who flew... You're really wasting... Why don't people go... You're right, you're right, you're right.

Yeah, good point, Yuzi. See, this is why he's on the big bucks. This is why I'm living under a bridge. This is why he's on his show. In Clifton Hill, admittingly. Yeah, yeah. This is why he's on his show, Hughes and Kate. So check out Dave O'Neill's podcast.

You can see Hughes doing 10 minutes of Felix Barr comedy this Saturday, so check that out. Yeah, 10 minute support to the 43 minute headline. Hughes, you have a promise coming back later in the year. Yeah, absolutely. Well, yes, we'll be producing later in the year. And yes, Hughes and Kate, 4.30, hit network from these very studios. Nationwide. Nationwide, yep. Awesome.

Guys, thank you very much for joining us and we'll see you next time. Bye. See you, mate. See you, Puss. Bye, Hughes. Is everything, Rick? What? See you next time. Bye. See you, mate. See you, boss.

Bye, Hughes. Is everything, Rick? What? That's the day. All right, and we have done it again. We're here up the back of the episode, another edition of Talking Dumb Dumb. Thanks for joining us. And special guest, you heard him in the ad.

He's back here. He's doing it again with us. Hello. Nick Cody. Big fan of Talking Dumb Dumb. The substitute. Yeah, big fan of Talking it again with us. Hello. Nick Cody. Big fan of talking. The substitute. Yeah, big fan of talking dum-dum. Nah.

Do you listen to this bit? Well, I do listen to the whole show. What I tend to do, though, is save up episodes. So I haven't heard the last two weeks. But then I'm on the one that was on last week. Yeah, so you don't need to hear that. Well, I will listen to it. And you haven't heard this one.

Just hear how fucking quick I was. You're good, Cody. You were really good on that one that was funny yeah that was great that was with Kappa telling the fucking

most mental stories yeah my favourite Nick Kappa thing is that he always goes so yeah I've turned it around and then

he thinks he's fixed the situation every time but it's just so so much more fucked than it was originally yeah yeah yeah that one element

doesn't exist anymore. But to get to that point, he's had to make five other fucked things. That's amazing. But speaking about the episode that's just happened, that you've just planted your ears on, we are very happy that the Do You Know Hughes and Everything Is Rick story is out there in the canon of Dumb Dumb. This was one of the top five afternoons of my whole life.

Very, like, so we were talking about it afterwards and just the relief of it being out there and Hughsey being into it and accepting of it. We've read this story back and forth. He will know Hughes. Yeah. We've read this story back and forth to each other for like a couple of years.

Yeah. And we fucking, we say, do you know Hughes over and over and over. Everything is Rick. It's like him being into it and like the relief of it being out in the open. I think it's like, I think it's the closest I'm ever going to come to knowing what it feels like to come out of the closet. Definitely. Do you know what I mean?

Just that like going in and like, oh, I don't know how this is going to go. And then it's like mum and dad are like, you know, everything is Rick. And I'm like, great. I'm accepted. I feel loved. You're allowed to get married now. Because Cody, yeah, you've known the story of it. This is the thing.

All of our friends in comedy like know that story. Yeah. Well, a bunch of them do. Well, yeah, a big chunk of them. Yeah. It's pretty well known. And by the way, I know that like I read out the transcript and some people could look at it and go,

oh, there's a bit of bullying in that. It's bullying. It is bullying. And just to confirm. Have they accused my good friend Carlos Chandler of bullying? Yeah. But it was fun and, you know, it was – he didn't – I believe – What's he doing now?

It can be multiple things and one of those things is bullying. Yeah. But one of the other things is funny. Yeah. I'm not debating that. So that's good. That's what people forget about bullying is that it's hilarious to a whole other group of people.

Yes. Yes. But also – Bullying is not bullying people just for their – I think that's the only reason bullying hurts is because you know how funny it is to someone else. And you want to be in on that. Exactly, yeah. That's why then bullies often become bullies.

People who are bullied become bullies themselves. But also, I don't think this guy knew he was being bullied. I think he just thought, I was a fucking idiot. Yeah, that's what makes it more bullying. We're all right. I'd love to know, yeah, in that way that, yeah, the bullied then become bullies

so what's he now going on and done he's probably like some tech millionaire that reads out that same thing to his friends going can you believe

I wanted to get into comedy and these are the sort of fucking idiots I would have had to have dealt with I specifically stated I couldn't do a 50 minute headline set

and this dumbass kept pushing me this is the start of his TED talk and that's when I invented an escalator to Mars. Oh, great. I wonder if, yeah, look, I wonder if this is going to get back

to that gentleman because he's still out there. I can't see a way it will. Yeah, right. Unless you tell him. I don't see how it's going to happen. Well, you can see a pretty good way as it turns out. Would you be mad if I did, if I just, like, DM'd and said, hey, dude, listen to this?

No, I'm fine with it. You've got to back it. I mean, it's like you'd have to think that, like, at least he would be able to go, look, yeah, look, you were being rinsed here, but it's funny. I'm fine with it. I was reading out the transcript to Husey. He was pissing himself.

O'Neill was crying. I could see him crying and laughing. I'm like, it. I was reading out the transcript to Hughsey. He was pissing himself. O'Neill was crying. I could see him crying, laughing. I'm like, this is funny stuff. And yeah, we should say, because O'Neill already knew it. Yeah. Going in. Yeah. Did you ask O'Neill if you thought Hughsey would be okay with it?

Yes. Right. And so he signed off on it? No, he just sort of went, oh, yeah, yeah, just because he wanted to hear it. I don't know if he thought about Hughsey for one second. I also told Eric Bannon not to do Chopper, so don't listen to that cunt ever.

Because we almost didn't do it. You were messaging me like two... Here's some real behind-the-curtain shit. It's the kind of thing we specialise in on Talking Dumb Dumb. You were messaging me the day or two before going, fuck, do I do it? Do we read it out? And I said, I think you have to.

I don't think there's any choice. There was nearly going to be a different guest. Yes. And if there was another guest, I don't think it would have flown. Yeah, that would have been devastating if that had happened. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just a regular thing behind the scenes of doing the podcast where you plan one guest and you end up with another.

So we were originally going to have someone else and I don't think the same vibe would have been there. No. So we wouldn't have tried that. So look, it all worked out great. Yeah. Really, really excited to see the response to this one. Yep.

That story in particular. I've listened back to that segment of it like six times. Really? Yeah. I just keep putting it on. Is it good? I love it. Great.

It sounds great. Oh, great. It sounds really good. And it's in that good studio as well. Yeah. So it doesn't sound like a bag of shit like this bit does. Where did you record? love it. Great. It sounds great. Oh, great. It sounds really good. And it's in that good studio as well. Yeah. So it doesn't sound like a bag of shit like this bit does. Where did you record? In it, at Kiss.

At Kiss, yeah. Is it Kiss? No, it's not Kiss anymore. Austereo. Austereo. Hit. Yeah. Hit Hit.

In one of the on-air studios for some reason. In the old Podcast City. Yeah. Yeah, in the old Podcast City. Yeah. Where we used to, back in the olden days when we used to say we were recording at Podcast City, we were sneaking Podcast City Yeah Where we used to When we used to Back in the olden days When we used to say We were recording at Podcast City

We were sneaking into Our stereo and recording Yeah Previous employees They hadn't cancelled Our swipe cards So we were still able To get into the building

After hours When you boys were on Barry yeah Barry Digital Radio Barry Digital Radio A lot of listeners Of this show Came over from Barry

Yes I still hear from people Who were like That's how I got into it yeah rest in peace very weird who would have listened to that

but anyway thank you thanks for finding us somehow alright what next Sydney we talked about Sydney getting in early

it's going to be a heap of fun going to have an after party which is very that should be really fun as well that's going to be heaps of fun but yeah 400 episodes crazy times

that'll be fun and then immediately even more exciting than that is Koh Samui. So that's all happening. Everything's being planned as we speak. There's a lot of planning to do. Yep. But it's all looking very fun.

We announced last week, of course, the guests who are Gareth Reynolds. We've got Becky Lucas. We've got Adam Knox. We've got Dilrub Jai Singh. We've got Brett Blake. We've got Nick Capper. We've got Nick Carr, we've got Adam Knox, we've got Dilrub Jai Singh, we've got Brett Blake, we've got Nick Capper, we've got Nick Carr. Yes. Yeah.

I saw Blakey last night. He was telling me a bunch of stories that I was writing them all down to read out on podcasts over there. Now, should we say this? Should we say the line-up of the show? Should we break the – you know, we've got the exclusive. We've got the scoop on this thing. Should we say what the line-up of the Coastal Movie International Podcast

Festival is in terms of the shows on the days? Oh, the running on this thing. Should we say what the line-up of the Coastal Movie International Podcast Festival is in terms of the shows on the days? Oh, the running order. Yeah. I thought you were losing your mind. You're like, should we say the line-up? I'm like, we literally just fucking did. What bit is this that he's doing? That was the guest line-up.

That's my new character, Alzheimer's Guy. Groundhog Festival. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Let's go through it. I'll bring it up on my phone. So we start June the 13th. We all get in there.

Look, a lot of people get in there at different times and whatever. So we have decided not to do an official show on that first day because I think a bunch of people fly in at like 9, 10 o'clock, that sort of thing, so it's going to be too late for people. So we're just going to have an official opening night party. An opening ceremony. Yeah. Much like the start of the Olympic Games where they light the torch,

we're going to set ourselves on fire on the beach. Yeah. Which did nearly happen to me last year. Your face in that video is fucking gold. You've got to send me that fucking video. Oh, yeah. Every two months I send you a text saying, can you send me that video?

I've got two of the best Tommy Dazzler video reactions of all time. Explain what the video is um it's me on the beach getting a cigarette lit and lit lit into my mouth by a fire twirler yeah right yeah yeah but he's his eyes are like i'm trying to remain calm on the outside but i'm gonna lose half my face here yeah old harvey dent kappa style yeah which was not even the most dangerous thing that happened at that bar, that beach bar because number one was Nick Carr

eating that hot dog pizza. Which I also had some of that. Right. So I was really just doubling down. I was like Donnie Knoxville that night. Yeah, right.

Just going for it. Yep. And then you've also got the video of me which... 2012, New York Comedy Festival. Luke Heggy, myself,

Dasolo, crashed at our, the apartment that we had that for some reason Osher Gunzberg had been staying there for a few days. Heggy and myself, Dasolo, crashed at the apartment that we had. For some reason, Osher Gunsberg had been staying there for a few days. Heggie's mate, which still to this day fucking makes me laugh that those two cunts hang out. Yeah. But Dasolo lost the keys and it was, fuck,

I want to say minus five or something that night. Pretty cold. And so we just had to stay out all night. Great. We just went bar to bar out all night great we just went bar to bar to bar then we found a coffee shop that they let us into

and Daslow fell asleep in the coffee shop Heggie and I told the girls at the counter because we're all having a laugh it's like he's falling asleep

we're going to go outside just bang on the window see his reaction and little Tommy's face when we bang on the window shock he was shocked I can't imagine

what was going through your head like where are they where am I so you we bang on the window. He was shocked. I can't imagine what was going through your head. Like, where are they? Where am I? So you're banging on the window that I'm asleep against. So like it vibrates. So it's like imagine if you got woken up by your entire bed shaking. It was that feeling. And then like, where are my friends?

Oh, they're laughing at me. I've made a con of myself. Plus I've had three minutes sleep in 24 hours. Vertical. Three minutes of vertical rest in a 24 hour period. My hands are frozen. It really is one of the great videos. It's such good footage.

You do appear like a cartoon character. I want to make a gif out of that. Oh yeah. Fozdyke drew it. Fozdyke drew my reaction face. Oh did he? It was my profile picture for a long time. Oh fuck.

I should find it again. It's so good alright do you want to crack into this do you want to go into the oh yeah the playing times yeah yep

alright so yes Wednesday night opening ceremony Thursday June the 14th live little dum dum club at the Ozo Chuang rest whoa

who would have known who could have possibly so yeah we're doing that live around sunset before sunset. Yep. And that's on the beach. It's going to be, man, live podcast on the beach at sunset.

That's going to be sick. What could be better? Nothing. Well, I'll tell you what will certainly give it a good run for its money. Go on. Friday, June 15th. Now, we talked for ages on the show about us trying to purchase a bar over there. Yes.

That was logistically not possible, so we're doing the next best thing. We're doing a pop-up bar for one night. That's right. We have got responsibility for a little bit of real estate on the beach, not near the resort, so we have to do a bit of a trek up the island, but it's on the old site of Mama Ninja's legendary Ninja Crepes restaurant. That's fucking awesome. Yeah, which is now closed down, unfortunately,

but she still owns the land and she is going to cater it. So it's going to be a big buffet dinner that people have to pay to get into to cover the buffet. Mama Ninja food. Yeah, which is awesome. And we're doing it at sunset. It's this awesome part of the island. And then we are running our own pop-up bar called…

Planet Westgate. Yes. Now, as in Planet Hollywood called... Planet Westgate. Yes. Now, as in Planet Hollywood but Planet Westgate. Amazing. We've got to include that down the... So it's going to say Planet Westgate brackets as in Planet Hollywood but it's Westgate. Get it.

Get it. Yeah. So it's like a theme bar where we're doing a theme bar on ourselves. So we've got... Yeah. This is as narcissistic as it comes. Yes. So it's going to be like A TGI Fridays

Yeah On the inside Where there's just all sorts Of weird shit on the walls Yes Totally Totally So we're running our own bar there

Food Yeah So it's going to be That's going to be a fucking Hell of a party Yep Saturday June 16 Live

Oh by the way Sorry On the Sorry Sorry Interrupting an official announcement I know Sorry I meant to say Because you know Party. Yep. Saturday June 16. Oh by the way sorry on the sorry. Interrupting an official announcement. I know sorry I meant to say because you know that's all well and good but we've got music and stuff as well. So it's going to be a proper party. We're hiring

equipment. Yeah. Saturday June 16 live little dum dum club followed by the Kosamui Podcast Festival Gala. Which yeah I've been trialling my three minute set for that. Oh, have you got the call? It gigs around the town.

Yeah, really hoping I make the broadcast. Great. You'd hate to do it and get cut out. You're confirmed, are you? I'm confirmed, yeah. Wow. Have you not heard anything yet? Oh, dude.

Look, I haven't checked my phone since we've been doing the podcast, that's all, but I'm sure when I check my phone there's probably… Yikes. I haven't checked my email either. Cody, have you got the call? Yeah, but I don't But I'm sure when I check my phone, there's probably... Yikes. I haven't checked my email either. Have you got the call? Yeah. But I don't think I'm... Maybe you can have my spot if I'm not doing it.

Fuck, is that how it works? Wow. Nice. So that's going to be great. Sunday, June the 17th, there will be a live half dollop. Gareth Reynolds and, I don't know, someone else doing the part of Dave. Yep. So if you love the dollop,

they'll be doing some sort of history podcast on the beach. I assume nothing to do with royalty. Should be interesting. Maybe we'll do that one unplugged. Monday, June 18th, we're all in prison. Bye.

It's like the final scene of Seinfeld. The last gig, the old Bangkok Hilton. Monday, June 18th, another live little dum-dum club and the closing night party, which will be at the Ozo Chuang Resort and the hope is the Koh Samui Podcast Festival All-Star Super Band is going to happen on that night. Which I am trying to learn drums for.

It's going okay but I leave in like four days so the clock is really ticking for me. I love that you can't learn instruments overseas. You can't take a fucking drum kit with me, idiot. To be fair, you could probably just buy a drum kit every day in Thailand

that's not bad that's not bad I've been thinking about it I have been thinking about like trying to rent a kit just to be able to sign up the resort you look for a fucking music store

I look for a bakery every day and we just buy bread and drums that's on something else that we just did oh yeah people have heard that call back to something

that a lot of people listen to this one let's call back to a Patreon episode that we just did that a lot of you wouldn't have heard. Sorry. We've been at my house for 11 hours at the moment.

Yes. I just love that last year some of the comments left on the Ozo people were upset with swearing around the pool. So at least this year you've now got swearing plus people banded instruments. Yes. Fuck, Animal from the Muppets just called me a cunt. But get fucked.

No, sorry, that should have been Badum cunt. That's good. Yeah, if I can hire a drum kit on that island, what do you reckon? Do you reckon that's the sort of thing you can hire? I reckon there is a drum kit in the pub up the road from the OZO that you can just go in and practice from about midday. Yeah. Yeah.

And, of course, don't forget on June the 19th, there is a Koh Samui International Podcast road show. Koh Phangan League. Gig on Koh Phangan. Yeah. Which is going to be great. At the Jamba. At the Jamba, of course.

So if you are around, please. Yes. So we need to also talk about Patreon. People who support the show, patreon.com slash little dum-dum club. We very much appreciate that. We send out bonus content, an episode once a month that we just did this month's one with Nick Cody. We send out a bonus magazine that always gets a lot of good responses that people really like.

And also part of it we read your name out on this show. Not everyone, but we read out an unspecified number of names. Yes. Changes every week. Yes. Because if we read out everyone's name, this segment would be really long. Yes. Unlike the tight package it is.

Cody, the last episode that you listened to, how many names did we do on it? Can you remember? Fuck, there must have been 20, 15 to 20. Wow, that's pretty low for us. Yeah, that's, is that? Yeah. Usually we do heaps more.

We must have had something on afterwards. I don't remember doing that, but anyway. Okay, sure. Well, let's try and do even more than that today. Yeah, okay, let's go. Okay. Let me fire up the old unplanned title alternator

Cody would you like to have a go of it would you like to hit the big red button yep have you done it yet? I've pushed it because it's voice activated I think just so I know push oh you've pushed it right great oh here we go click push it's like I'm in Batman

kapow here's a name alright here we go. Click. Push. It's like I'm in Batman. Kapow. Here's a name. Kapush. All right, here we go. Kapush. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Sean West. Oh.

Yeah. It's one of Kanye's children. Yeah, totally. It's North West and Sean West. Yes. The deadly duo. Yeah. You know, there's a guy, I found out about this last night There's a guy on Twitter

Who became like famous on Twitter Because he predicted What Kanye was going to call His second kid Oh right Yeah he was like I bet he calls it the same And then he did

Yeah And then everyone's like Found this guy's tweet Timestamped from before And was like What the fuck Yeah he'd be one of those guys That has got that pin

That's his pinned tweet With one billion retweets Yeah And the next one is Two likes Big cold out Two favourites Oh here he is Nostradam cunt Yeah guys that has got that pin, that's his pin tweet with one billion retweets and the next one is two likes. Big cold out. Two favourites. Oh, here he is. Nostra dumb cunt. And I bet if you go through, it's like

he's done that tweet but like a billion times just with all different names. Tony West. Frank West. Sean West. And with all different people, I reckon Alan Alda's grandson is going to be called Benny. Alan Alda's grandson is going to be called Benny. Alan Alda.

Jesus Christ. Why did Alan Alda come in here? I don't know. It's a gift. Do you idolise him the way a lot of people idolise Kanye? Yeah, he's my Kanye. Hawkeye was like Kanye

Back in the day Back in the late 70s Early 80s Yeah That new Kanye album Coming out in Two days Is that an ad?

Is he paid for an ad? He's sponsoring the show Yeah Well he's into Trump So Makes sense that we would Follow after that Yeah I don't know

I don't know about that I don't You know what You're mentioning that I'm saying don't buy it I don't know about that. I don't... You know what? You're mentioning that. I'm saying don't buy it. I don't like him. Oh, wow. Not a fan of him?

No, not into him. Fuck that dude. Wow. Yeah, don't buy his stuff. Wow. Yeah. Don't buy his stuff. Yeah, this is my unofficial un-ad for him.

Okay. Well, I mean, there's no buying now. It's just streaming anyway. Well, don't stream it. He's not getting any money. Don't stream it. I'm going to stream it. No, don't.

I'm sorry. I'm going to have a listen. Don't stream. I'm going to stream it.'t I'm sorry I'm gonna have a listen stream I'm gonna stream it listen to the ad on your own show gonna walk down the street and

stream it man I'm gonna fucking drive down the street cause you got your license now Nick Cody I've got a license

yeah finally got your license have you got personalized number plates yet it's pretty cool get into it yeah yeah

really cool I've got Tim's gone so yeah I know have you got a baby on board sticker ready to go? Have you got a My Family sticker ready to go? Bubby. Can you get that as a personalised number?

What's that? Bubby. Bubby. Little bub. Yeah, little bub. That's good. Don't you even pretend. You will have a personalised...

You'll have Crusher as a licence plate within about a fucking month you arsehole. I reckon you no doubt about it. Just to make my wife drive that car. Are you going to call your kid Crusher? Well it is gender neutral. Do you have ideas for names? There's a little

bit of a list but there's still a few months to go and a few arguments to be had. Oh, great. Because my wife does like some hippie bullshit. Right. Whereas I am... You're trying to call it bourbon. I'm going to get a betting pool going

for what fucking Fogan name you're going to give your kid. Bourbon, but it's B-U-R-R because I also love Bill Burr. If it's a boy, no doubt it's going to be Connor there's no fucking way even if it's a girl it's Connor yeah but with a K

that's how Sheila spell it no with a Q with a feminine Q Q with a dash over the top like Spanish or something and an upside down exclamation mark yeah great well thanks or something. And an upside down exclamation mark.

Great. Well, thanks, Sean. Thanks, Sean. Thanks, Sean West. So that's one. You're the Patreon subscriber we won't reject. Nice. Very good. Like from an ad.

Thank you to Patreon subscriber Tim Hatcher. Oh, Tim. Yeah. We subscriber Tim Hatcher Oh Tim Yeah We got Tim Hatcher Is this the guy that you named your car after? No The fuck Edmobile

That's who Carl ran over in his car Yeah That's why he got those number plates Oh I got Tim Oh he did Yeah That would be huge Like being hit by a car and like the last thing you see

as you're fucking rolling over you is like your own name. Yeah. Smashing your head open. I'm surprised we haven't, I haven't gotten any feedback really from driving around. I don't drive that much. What's the feedback meant to be? Well, I thought people would like, I'd stop at the lights

and someone would yell at me or I don't know, something. Honk if you think I'm a cunt. Honk if you want Tim. I reckon, yeah, that's the thing is like, I would love to know, I'd love to hear recorded conversations of people that have been behind you in traffic. You're bringing a lot of joy to people on the roads. It's also the biggest risk I think is threatening somebody in a car that's got personalised number plates. Because there's a good chance they're just a wild motherfucker. And also, if you don't know the joke, it's like you've got, you know, it's a plate that says, got him.

Got him. And it's like, all right, well, you've got someone before. I'd assume that like most people would just think that like it's a personal joke. You know, like it's a, well, I mean, which it is. But I mean, like that it's a pet name, I mean. Right. I assume it's like the slang from the cricket you know when

a commentator has got him right right but having said that as we've been recording I have been I assume that's what it means

I assume that's what my number plates mean having said that it's something to do with the cricket as we've been here I've been sent a picture from a

listener of the show with them leading in front of the car with the number plate. That's incredible. And the listener of the show is someone who we've read out and talked about in the Patreon read before. Listener Josh Papow!

A Shane Bourne inspired listener. Papow! Thank God you're here, Josh. Pa-pow! Pa-pow! A Shane Bourne-inspired listener. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Pa-pow! Pa-pow! Thank God you're here, Josh. Is that enough for Tim?

That's enough for Tim. Thanks, Tim. Thanks, Tim. Thanks, God, Tim. We've got Tim's money. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Billy Arundel. Billy Arundel. I feel like we've done Billy Arundel.

We fucking haven't. It sounds familiar. No, you're just thinking of how much you love Rundle Mall. In Adelaide. Yeah. The great city of Adelaide. The official city of Little Dum Dum. I do love Rundle Mall.

Great mall. Do you? Yeah. Why do you like it? I don't know. There's a good atmosphere out there. It must be pretty rich if you run Dell. They're quite a successful computer.

Oh, God. It's like Norm Macdonald at a roast. Yeah. Billy. I like Billy as a name. Really? Yeah. Right.

I do. I've got to say, if I gave my son the name William and then they get older and they're going under Billy, I'd be pissed off. Oh, really? Which I guess I've done to Thomas. Yeah. And he also turned all sup to Dassolo. That old nickname.

Yeah. That old Cockney rhyming slang. No, Billy's good. Billy Arundel. I like Billy. Billy's, he's better than William, I think. William's pretty stuffy. Yeah.

It's pretty boring. It's pretty vanilla. Billy's a bit of, you know, there's like Billy Cart. There's Billy Goats. Two cool things. Yep. Yep. Billy Madison.

Yes. Great film. Yep. One of the great comedies of all time, in my humble opinion. Smoking a Billy. Yeah. Yeah. Billy Madison. Yes. Great film. One of the great comedies of all time in my humble opinion. Smoking a Billy. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Yeah.

You're into it. Come over here and suck my dick, Billy. Tasty treat for Billy. Yes. The first line of the national anthem. Yeah. The first line of A Tale of Two Cities. Once was a jolly swag man.

Come and suck my dick, Billy. There's not enough Bush poetry about getting your dick sucked by a river. Don't you think? That's what they call a jolly swag man. Because as if that's not happening. They're all just living off the land, just a bunch of blokes. But they didn't have a head job back then. They called it a jolly swag. Come over and give me a jolly swag.

When do you reckon the term head job was coined? When do you think a head job, which was first? That's why Ned Kelly wore that mask. No more dicks in me mouth. Only in the eyes from now on. Just keep giving me when I'm sleeping. If you've got a really thin one, okay. But only me eyes. When did head job, the term morph into blow job?

Which was for, I feel like. So is head job, do they use that in America at all? I don't know. Is it just blow job? Is head job just Australian? I don't know. I feel like it's Australian. But getting head is American. Oh, yeah.

It's very weird because to get a head job, it's like to get the head job at a company. There's two very different definitions of that, isn't there? I don't know. I'm getting a call from the Central African Republic. Oh, really? Yeah. Are you actually?

Yeah, I was. Yeah. Plus two. Oh, I'm going to read out their number. Plus 236-761-66849. New t-shirt. And for people at home, Tommy did get the call on his Apple wristwatch. Old fucking dickhead Tracy over here.

Bizarre. Yeah. Yeah. It's the future. Finally. The Apple watch. Yeah. I've been waiting for the future for so long and now it's here.

You know what? Are they really good? It's okay. Yeah. It's okay. I kind of bought it and then it's like, Oh, there's all this stuff.

It can't do that. I just assumed it would be able to. It is good. Suck your dick. Yes. Yes. You can smash it into me for it. I'm getting nothing.

It's got two hands. At least jerk me off. It says that it's going to be able to suck your dick. All it does is like you can get Siri to call someone in your phone and ask them to suck your dick. And I'm sorry, that's not the same thing as the wash sucking my dick. Oh, fuck. Steve Jobs, you left us

too soon. You could have fucking fixed this. You're saying that's in the future, though. I was walking around JB Hi-Fi today, and it feels like we're in the last two years, everyone's gone. That's it. Why are we holding back? Time to live in the fucking Jetsons.

It feels like everyone's all of a sudden decided that they want the future that they've been seeing in science fiction and stuff for like 40 years or whatever. Right. Because every new product that's out is like this thing connects to your light switches and then you just talk to it and go, turn the lights on and it turns your lights on for you.

I bet it doesn't fucking work like that. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. There's all these products in the store where it's like I bet 50% of these just do not work the way they say on the box. we're not fucking ready just chill out it's fine just give it another 10 and then it'll actually don't use your teeth siri you're getting that automated dimmer switch suck me turn the lights down and then suck my dick in the dark. And you're just saying that in JB?

Testing it. I bet it doesn't work. I bet it doesn't work. Give me a minute alone with the demo device. Oh, hang on. It is working. Oh, my God. JB, you've done it again. You've done it again.

Why is talking about sucking dicks so funny? It is the funniest thing. Why is it the funniest thing? It's a big bonus. Smashes the glass. That you loaded in the window. The old ad. Do you think the first person to give a blowjob was aware? They're like, fuck, this is funny.

BJ, you've done it again. So good. Oh, Christ. All right. Thanks, Billy. Oh Christ Oh Alright Thanks Billy Little Billy blowjob Some people get real bang for their buck And I feel like Billy Arundel

Got his money's worth there Billy really got us there But isn't it That's the best thing about this Is like You know We come into this with no plan at all. And often times it's, you know. Well how could we? This is random.

Completely unplanned. But there's better stuff in this than the actual rest of the episode sometimes. And it's like just a name gets read out and who could possibly predict that it would end with you getting sucked off by a robot in JB Hi-Fi. I would

like to think that there's listening parties of Talking Dumb Dumb where people are betting on the names and how good it is, which one's going to be the best, the funniest one. Yeah, that's good actually. We should, in advance of the episode coming out, we should start to release the names and then people can do the odds on our Facebook group and then… Or at least have a drinking game to do it or something.

You know what I was thinking like there's a lot of there's a couple of podcasts that I listen to that are on Patreon where they do like their Patreon will often be

they'll do like an hour and a half ep an hour of it is on the regular feed and then the back half hour is just like we're just going to sit here and keep recording

but then this bit's behind the payroll paywall what if we just did that with Talking Dumb Dumb watch all those subscribers just fucking drop right off. Yeah, we just cut out that Billy Arundel bit and put that behind the bay wall.

And I'd back it. I'd be more than happy to back it. No, just the JB Hi-Fi. You've done it again. Just that one sentence is behind the bay wall. The robot's sucking us off. And then we say, go to patreon.com to hear what we said

when the robot's sucking our dickies down the table. Just be nice. If this bit was like subscribers only then we could finally just be a bit loose

and not have to behave ourselves. Yeah, I feel like I'm talking to my mum or something. Is this church? Come on. Alright.

Okay, name number four. Let's stop having fun and do comedy Thank you to Patreon subscriber This is a nice simple one Thank you to Tom Ray Tom Ray? Yeah That feels like some sort of weapon in the future Tom Ray

That's like shooting you at someone It is JB, you've done it again That's the robot The Tom Ray You just aim it at your dickie And it feels sucked That's a great superhero

Where he just shoots people by coming at them Or making them come. Yeah. Yeah, that's great. So they're incapacitated. Yeah. Would you be happy with that if there was a weapon, there was a weapon that if you shot it at someone's groin,

they came, but it was called a Tom Ray? So everyone just was like, what's your name, Tom? Oh, like the Ray, yeah. Imagine if I started a line of comic books that are all superheroes that their powers involved come in some way and then they become huge

and then it's like they all have movies and like you know how Stan Lee's always in Marvel movies right like I'm always in these come superhero movies

sucking off the main character the bystander the innocent bystander Yiddish no but it's like it's like from back before so it's always you've just got this obsession with getting your dick sucked in JB Hi-Fi.

So at some stage in all these movies, all of a sudden they go into JB and go, oh, we know what's going to happen now. There's like no need to go into JB at all in this story. Every time a new one comes out, there's a cease and desist sent to the movie studio by JB Hi-Fi. a cease and desist sent to the movie studio by JB Hi-Fi. Why is this old man wearing these fucking rose-coloured glasses getting his dick sucked in JB Hi-Fi?

When you work at JB Hi-Fi, you just get the first thing you do before you get the keys to the door or anything, it's like, number one, here's the face of this guy. Do not let this guy in. Do not let him in. Do not let anyone with a camera in. Don not let this guy in. Do not let him in. Do not let anyone with a camera in. Don't let this guy's pants come down in any way. Don't let him near the dick-sucking machine.

That's for damn sure. It's weird how they've branched out into dick-sucking machines now. It was like once they started selling vacuum cleaners, I was like, only a matter of time until dick-sucking machines are being sold. Well, they probably make more money off them than the CDs these days. So it makes a lot of sense. Tom Ray. Oh, Tom Ray.

Thanks, Tom Ray. Thanks, Tom Ray. Thanks, Tom. All right. How many did you say we did the last time? I reckon 35. 35. Maybe it was just fine, but I was thinking of.

Well, I think we've done, by my count, we've done 35. I just clocked up. So if we just do one more, that'll be. Let's do a round 36. Yeah. Yeah. Let's round it up. Yeah.

Bake to, not a baker's dozen, to a plumber's dozen. 36. Is that a real thing? No. A dick sucker's dozen. Yeah. JB dozen. JB dozen. All right.

If you can do the honours, please, Nick. You did the first one. If you want to do the last one. Click. Click. You've done it. All right. Thank you.

I've done it again. Thank you to Patreon subscriber MrComedy. Oh. Oh, nice one, Nick. Cody, you said you's got the magic touch you said you're a couple weeks behind this is what's been happening there's been some glitch in the system

where I believe this is now the fourth week in a row I believe it's the first week in a row okay I believe it's the first week in a row so thanks for hitting the button

much like me getting my dick sucked in JB Hi-Fi you've done it again yeah is it Mr Comedy don't I find this a bit you know know, he's our guest. Don't blame him.

I'm not blaming him. I'm blaming you. For some made up thing. It's not made up. It's you fucked it. No. Nick, hit the button. We got a random name out.

You heard it click. I did hear it click. Exactly. Exactly. So we've got the 46th one. 36th one. 36th one 36th 36th For this week

Mr Comedy So thanks Thanks to Mr Comedy 36th fucking time You've read this out as well Sorry You heard me Mr Comedy

Hey I didn't even hit the button Nick hit the button So So you're blaming me I don't know why you're blaming me It's what I'm trying to say Is this a terrible idea for Merge but I get dumb-dumbs.

You should have like a school, like a year 12 hoodie. Little dumb-dumb as like a school uniform logo and then on the back the Patreon names. Oh, yes. Like everybody that's finished year 12. Class of 2018. Patreon class of 2018. That's good.

That's funny. That's actually really good. All the comedy. All the names that have been read out in one year. Yeah. Fuck, that's very funny. That's great. That's funny. That's actually really good. The Call of Comedy. All the names that have been read out in one year. Yeah. Fuck, that's very funny. That's great. I love that.

Oh, well, add to that list a new one, Mr. Comedy. It's not a new one. Great. It's not a new one. It'll be a freshie to have. It's the first one and you've been reading it out. It's definitely a rare name. That'll be about halfway down because we're nearly in the middle of the year.

So, that'll be about halfway down the t-shirt on the back. Yeah. It'll be on there about four times at this point in a row. Well, if you put it on there, if you really like the name that much, you can put it on extra times, I guess, if you want. Someone likes the name that much. It's not me. Well, Nick, because he hit the button.

Again, stop blaming this on Nick. And you've called me Nick now three times. You've never called me Nick either. Since I've fucking known you. It's like you're in trouble. It's real weird. Well, you know what Nicholas did with the fucking random names. All right.

Well, thanks, Mr. Comedy, once again. Yeah, thanks for the first time. Thanks for the fifth time at this point. Fourth time in a row. And also then the original, the very first time that you contributed. for the fifth time at this point. Fourth time in a row and also then the original, the very first time that you contributed. Well, let's agree to disagree. No, absolutely not.

No agreement from me whatsoever. Okay. Well, I have to overrule you because I don't want to lose a new subscriber like that, so thank you, Mr. Comedy. Not a new subscriber. Not a new subscriber. Appreciate it. Hold on for a wild ride.

Been there since almost the beginning. Don't unsubscribe. Some people unsubscribe because they got their name read out and they think they can just drop off now. I hope Mr. Comedy holds on. Obviously, there's no danger of that because he's done it because he's been many weeks now. I hope he's, you know, one day we might get around to you again.

So hold on. It's going to be a wild ride. Wait, so you're admitting that we might get around to him again? No hold on. It's going to be a wild ride. Wait, so you're admitting that we might get around to him again? No, I'm just trying to give him that false hope. You're putting in the idea of there being potential for people to be read out multiple times. I'm trying to give him a bit of false hope so he keeps subscribing.

God. Well, thanks, Mr Comedy. Thank you. Guys, that is it for the end of another episode of Talking Dumb Dumb. Thank you very much to everyone who subscribes on Patreon. We really appreciate it. We hope you enjoy all the bonuses that we work very hard on sending out.

All the 36 first time subscribers this week. Thank you to all of them. Yes. There are 35 and then one that's been around before. And next month all the Patreon stuff is going to be Thailand themed so get onto that. It's going to be very exciting. Cody, anything you want to leave people with?

No guys, it's just heaps of fun hanging out with you. It's a bloody good very exciting. Cody, anything you want to leave people with? No, guys. It's just heaps of fun hanging out with you. It's a bloody good time. Don't you have anything to sell? Don't you have stuff online or something? No, I really don't. Oh, okay. You have fucking stubby holders and panties and shit. Stubby holders and bibs, but the bibs are sold out. Sold out of

bibs? Sold out of bibs. How many did you get made? Not many. Pretty personal, isn't it? Yeah, three. You gave two away. You sold out so you haven't even got one for your kid that's going to get born soon. I fucked it. I fucked it right up.

I'm doing a show at the Comedy Store July 6th. Oh, cool. Oh, there you go. In Sydney. Yep, in Sydney. At the Nick Cody on Instagram. There you go. That's it.

Great. Guys, littledumbdumbclub.com for all our stuff. Tickets and whatever. T-shirts, all that sort of shit. We're on the socials. Each of us, we're Tommy Dassolo and Carl Chandler on Instagram and Facebook and Twitter and all that shit. Oh, I have a new comic book that people can buy.

TommyDassolo.bigcartel.com if you'd like one of them. Super Bloom 2, already selling very, very well. So, yeah, not too many left, which is cool. Yes, but we will see you next week for the big 400th episode. That's exciting. Yeah. Lots of sweet stuff planned for that. We're looking forward to it.

Looking forward to bringing you guys that one. Guys, thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mates.