The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 400 - Live! Larry Emdur, Tom Ballard, Gen Fricker, Adam Richard, Merrick Watts & Ben Russell

Episode Date: June 6, 2018

We did it! 400 episodes of this complete rot! And what better way to celebrate than with one of our heroes: LARRY EMDUR! Larry fields Karl's creepy questions, and then we're joined by TOM BALLARD and GEN FRICKER for a "loving" "tribute" to the podcast. Then ADAM RICHARD and MERRICK WATTS get involved for a horrific chat that probably should have been edited out but that would have meant that the episode went for 11 minutes so it's staying in. Oh plus there's some funny little characters! This episode is brought to you by Vans / Marvel! Visit www.vans.com.au/PLANETBROADCASTING for your chance to win three pairs of Vans / Marvel shoes!Don't forget, we have a bunch of huge live shows coming up:KOH SAMUI: The Koh Samui International Podcast Festival is happening again in 2018 with guests The Dollop! JUNE 13 - 18. For tickets, merchandise, links to our Patreon and heaps of other stuff, head to our website: littledumdumclub.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Today on the Little Dumb Dumb Club, our star-studded 400th episode live from Sydney with great guests Larry Emder, Jen Fricker, Tom Ballard, Merrick Watts, Adam Richard. Was that it? There may have been a small appearance from someone called Ben Russell in there somewhere. That is coming up in a minute. First of all, we need to let you know that this week,

the Little Dum Dum Club is sponsored by a new collaboration between Vans and Marvel. They've joined forces to launch their largest collaboration to date. There is an Australian competition. You could win three pairs of shoes from the Vans Marvel collection. Visit vans.com.au slash planetbroadcasting for your chance to win. Wow. I always knew Stan Lee would come crawling back to this podcast, so the prophecy has become true.

Me so, Stan Lee. You won't like me when I'm Stan Lee. Yes. So, yeah, you're about to hear this episode. There's nothing more to really plug here, is there? No, but I mean, we can foreshadow a little bit of this episode. It was a hell of a night in Sydney at the Giant Dwarf Theatre. Absolutely packed out.

Thank you so much to everyone for coming. It was sold out in three days. We had 300 people in there. It was massive. Look, things got loose. What happened was we did our solo shows beforehand. You did an hour of your show. I did an hour of my show.

I did an hour at the very top. It was a very nice, well-behaved, respectful hour. Then there was a 15-minute break and something happened. I think a full moon came out or something. Yeah, someone dropped some fucking weird serum into the drinking water. Into the supply of beer cans. Yes. Someone put some alcohol in the beer, I think, up there. Bit of a fruity batch of mountain goat going around at the moment, I think.

Yeah, yeah. And there's a full moon for alcoholics up there and people got very fruity during my show. And then, look, that sort of slightly continued into this live show that you're about to hear. So what you're hearing is a bunch of audience members that have seen two hours of comedy, drunk for three hours. So, look, things get raucous. I think some of these people started pre-drinking at the 100th episode of the show. Yeah, and look, maybe some of the guests did as well.

So, look. So, look, at the time that we're recording this, we actually haven't had a chance to go back through the edit of this show. So one of two things will happen. There'll be some stuff in this episode that the guests are saying that do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts of this podcast. And who are we to argue against know, argue against free speech? Yes.

So if they want to say those things that we don't necessarily believe in or want to get sued for or anything like that, then who are we to stop? We're big fans of the First Amendment here on the podcast. Yeah, that doesn't exist in this country, but sure. So either that, either there'll be some stuff left in that we, you know, people can say what they want, that's fine. Yep.

You know, not necessarily stuff that we sign off on, but they chose to say it. It's not the views of us or it's not the views of other people that may be employed by Channel 7 or, you know, very big companies that don't want their lovely names tarnished by any of it. It was a very interesting night. So, look, I think you're about to hear a very good episode and, you know, it's either going to be slightly shorter

than it was on the night or not. At the very least, this is just a great advertisement for actually coming to the live shows. Oh, man. Yeah. All right, so let's crack on with it. Here it is, the big 400th episode recorded live in Sydney. Thank you so much to everyone who came down and enjoy the episode.

Thank you. Hey lady, don't you remember? You were my lover, you were my friend Nice! Welcome into the Little Dum Dum Club for the 400th episode live from Sydney. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo and standing next to me is the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day, dickheads.

Carl Chandler. G'day, dickheads. And man, let me say this, the Opera House has let itself go. I gotta say, I got a good feeling about tonight. I reckon we're both gonna lose our virginity. This nagging

sense of deja vu, but anyway. I'll keep going. Wow. Congratulations, Tommy. 400 episodes, hey? Is that how sincerity sounds? Yeah, this is an alien who's practicedised how humans

treat people. Yes, Carl, my friend. Hey, man, I've got to be honest. I love you. Hang on, was that an impression of me? Yeah, that was you. That was your fucking robot brain exploding. You do impression of me Right For people at home, you are missing out on some sweet acting

It's pretty good Man, this is A lot of people have been saying to us Congratulations on 400 episodes I'm not sure I'm not sure how to take that Because it's like 400 episodes of a podcast.

It's like saying congratulations on 10 years of high school. Yeah, that's what this is. This is being made, this is being held down in the first grade of your career. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Until you learn the alphabet, you cannot grow up with all the other boys.

We think you should do open mics again. Yeah. That is... Look, I was looking forward to this tonight and then there was a lot of talk because this sold out in like three days, didn't it? Yeah. Sold out in like three days. So awesome. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. And that felt really good a couple of months ago when it sold out in three days. awesome thank you thank you thank you and that felt really good a couple of months ago when it sold out in three days but within the last week there has been so many people on the internet going we don't want these tickets anymore which has dragged the vibe down for me personally a little bit that's all a lot of empty seats in here for something that was sold out and impossible to get yeah yeah yeah no actually what i was more scared about was a lot of people were like going, oh, everyone loves the idea, everyone loves to send us messages going, hey, I'm bringing a lot of people that have no idea who the fuck you are.

Like we're supposed to go, that's cool, because we plan on making 20 minutes of in-jokes at least. Yeah. Who is here who's never listened before? Oh, my god. How is it going so far? My right opinion is pretty divided so far. I think we'd be at about a 60% on Metacritic right now.

I reckon given by the abuse I heard then, I reckon they get it. No, because I reckon they get it. Yes. I, I know, because I was wrapped, because, you know, this,

to sell out this, this little theatre, it's like 300 people. And so we're like, fuck, that's so cool to sell out, you know, 300 seats in a theatre,

like straight away. And then last night, I was literally reading an article on The Guardian, saying in Birmingham, they got 350 people at a flat earth society meeting. All right, well, maybe not as good as I thought. So, I actually got less than that.

I wonder what's the Venn diagram between the Flat Earth believers and the dumb-dumb listeners. Yeah, it's very similar. Like, a lot of dumb cunts who are into something that makes everyone else think that they're completely fucked. I um, I had this, I haven't told you this but I had this- Oh, please let this be you fessing up to thinking that the earth is flat. Like if that's-

That would be a dream, if you just like sincerely know you're like, you know what they got some actually pretty good things to say. Like that's how you found the article. Yeah well how come you know what? They've got some actually pretty good things to say. How come you can't see the curve on the ocean? That's how you found that article in your fan group that you're in on Facebook. Yeah. I'm just pissed off I wasn't invited. I know we talk about this. It's boring to hear about people's dreams.

Because they're just fucking made up little things in your head. But. But. This is what I have. You've told about a hundred dream stories on the podcast and they've all started the exact same way. I know this is dog shit but I was in a cafe the other day and

No, no, that's wrong. I had a nightmare. I had a nightmare that we did this gig, right? And we were... And people were constantly knocking over bottles and yelling shit out? Yeah. Oh, my God. I knew we shouldn't have done this show so late at night, but...

I had a dream that we did this, and it was this big sellout theatre. We come to Sydney and we're so happy about this 400th episode. And for whatever inexplicable reason, we then decide to debut our prog rock experiment. And we opened with it. We opened with it and we genuinely think this is great and the lighting's going crazy

and we walk on to do the podcast and the place is abandoned. And I honestly, I had that dream about one in the morning and I did not sleep for the rest of the night. That's sick. This podcast is so close to prog rock though. Like, this is prog rock broadcasting. Like, it goes for too long.

Nothing's really going on at any point. You're just waiting for a payoff that never comes. I hurt your feelings. No, no. Turns out you aren't a robot after all. I'm fine. I was just wondering whether I'd bring in another sweet piece of content or... Okay, I will.

I had a message. We've got some great guests coming up, but I did ask... I did ask... Thank you, fans of guests. Fans of people that aren't us. I did ask... We've wanted to get this guy back ever since he was on for the first time,

but I asked Grant Denyer to come back. He's not on tonight. He could not be here. He sent this message, though. He said, on tonight. He could not be here. He sent this message though. He said, sadly I can't attend, although the idea of me riding Dilbrook as he crowd surfs is delicious.

Riding it? Just surfing him through the audience? Yeah. That is delicious, isn't it? That is. That's one of the most delicious things I've ever heard.

Tell me you wouldn't like to see fucking Mickey Mouse riding this big fucking orca whale through. Is that a correct metaphor? I don't know.

I don't know. Why is Greg doing your Mickey Mouse in your head? Well, because he's little, isn't he? Okay. And popular. Okay.

Yeah. Sure. Well, what is Grand Denya to you? What would you have gone with? Well, okay, let's go through. So, like, Donald. Who's Donald Duck? In Australian showbiz, who's the Donald Duck?

I think you've taken this to the wrong angle. I'm not trying to flesh out the entire Disney family. It's a question on everyone's lips. You've actually gone the wrong way. I'm asking you who you think Grant Daniel would be. See, and it's this argumentative spirit that makes you such a successful flat earther. It's in your bones they like they should recruit you like you in a you in a debate with someone

it's just you in your element like they should pay you money to be out there arguing their cause for them because you could turn people around I reckon yeah yeah okay yeah well if it, if it's round... This guy that can barely pronounce round, that's a start. This looks... This stage looks pretty flat. That's how... There's no flat bits on a ball.

Case closed. Okay, well, you're the goofy of Australian showbiz. Sorry that I'm not a genuine flat earther. I was in the cafe near my house the other day, and this guy, yeah, it's a hell of a yarn, isn't it? This guy, big fan of cafes. Yeah, it's a hell of a yarn, isn't it? Big fan of cafes.

Fuck, this is like that dream I had the other week. Who's playing what, by the way? What instruments are we both on? I think we were DJing and... What? Yeah, yeah. We're not a prog rock band. We're just putting on, like, some Frank Zappa and that's it. Right.

I remember distinctly going up and, like, hitting some buttons and thinking, this is pretty cool. And then doing a bit of this and then going, wow, this is empty. This is... Isn't going very well. Yeah, yeah. So, guys...

You were in a cafe. I was in my local cafe. And when you... Shit, yeah. And when you looked out from the cafe, was the ground flat or slightly round? It was real flat in there, actually. Right, okay. My feet weren't curved or anything.

Sounds like someone just got convinced. Shit. Shit. I was in there and it's the cafe I go to every day so I'm pretty friendly with the barista and the people who work in there This guy, you know like, have you ever been in like a restaurant or a cafe or whatever where Okay, the end

No, that was the yarn, good relatable stuff Finally, a guy who speaks for all of us Have you ever been in one of those places Where like a salesman comes in And they're trying to like pitch to get their product Oh, like you know When they have a sticker saying No hawkers please

That would be a hawker Yeah, yeah, yeah So the person who sees that sticker and goes Yeah, but I'm different Because I've got some good shit In my fucking crumpler bag So this guy's like trying to get My local cafe to start selling this like

this he's had the he's had the fucking landmark idea of putting water in a can right so he's there going it's just great because it's in a can and you know normally like water it's in a bottle and that's like waste so there's no bottle with this there's a can it's like yeah but then there's a can like that's still waste like so and he's just really going the hard sell to the barista and the barista's like and he's like the owner as well so he's like he's like oh yeah look i'll you know i'll take a look at it like leave a sample and you know i'll give it a look well you know we'll see we're you know the fridge we're pretty small place the fridge is pretty full and it's not really i don't know that it's really gonna work he's like no no it's just it's really really good stuff it's really good

stuff and he's just not getting it and i'm standing there waiting for my coffee going take the hint dude this guy's not fucking into it this guy's so annoying like going so hard then like finally yeah the bruce is like cool man like anyway i gotta get back to making these coffees so i'll anyway i'll see you later he's like cool man cool man you got my details you got my card give me a call give me a call. Give me a call. Anyway, see ya. And walks out. And as he walks out, he walks past me and he leans right into my ear and he goes, I'm aware.

I'm aware. Just like the five minutes before me going, this cunt might be one of the worst people I've ever been in the same room as. You know what? That reminds me. You know what? Now, you know, people say that stuff. This is literally what someone did the other day.

They walked past me, like, similar, but this is what they said as they walked past. They go like this. They walk past and go, podcast. That's sick. Not the name go, podcast. That's sick. Not the name of the podcast, not my name. Just the genre. Not even, I love that.

No, no, no. That's great. Just picturing in the build, like, I know what would have been happening there. As he's getting, he's seen you coming a mile off and he's like, oh, I'll say something. And then he gets closer and closer and in his head he's like oh I'll say I'll say something and then he gets closer and closer and in his head he's like

fuck what's the catchphrase what's the catchphrase like thinking that he's got enough time nah dude but hey look it paid off paid off for that other guy too

I'm up here shitting on his product I've actually got the barista gave me like the can that he was pitching I've hung onto it should I do a taste

because we know this guy have you got it here. Should I do a taste? Because we know this guy listens. Have you got it here? Yeah. Should I do a taste test? Yeah. If I like it. If I like it, we know he's listening. I won't say the brand, but then we can, like, hustle him and go, hey, man.

Well, if it's good, you say the brand. If it's not, say the brand. No, no, but... No, but, like, if I like it, I'll not say the brand. Then we'll go, hey, man, you give us some money, and then we'll start saying the name on air. Well, it's never worked once, but why not? Hey, all right, you want I like it, I'll not say the brand, then we'll go, hey, man, you give us some money, and then we'll start saying the name on air. Well, it's never worked once, but why not? Hey, all right, you want to say...

For people at home, Tommy is going to get the water. So apparently it's like this... It's like... Have you heard the sales pitch? Like, why is it good to have water in a can? I don't know, but it... They filter this through volcanic rock. Ah, well, as we all know, that makes things better.

It's full of ash and shit. Should I read out the thing on the back? Please, a bit of respect. A bit of respect for the arts up here. For this thing that's been in my fridge for two months now. Oh, yeah, the water might go off. From stormy clouds to the depths of a dormant volcano, been in my fridge for two months now. Oh yeah, the water might go off. From stormy clouds to the depths of a

dormant volcano. A journey more than 30 years in the making. Purified by nature. Infused with minerals. Invigorated with bubbles. A tribute to Victoria's central highlands. You guys up here might not

know this, but back where we come from we've got some central highlands. You guys up here might not know this, but back where we come from we've got some Central Highlands. That's where Mirabar is, the Central Highlands. Am I about to drink a can of this motherfucker's piss? Go, give it a sip. Carmen Stormy sparkling mineral water.

Sheltered from prying eyes in a 100% recyclable can. Thanks for coming, guys, where we read out the contents of cans. And it's, for the listeners, it's like, the can is like purely black. It's like a fucking porno water is in here. They don't want kids to see it on the shelf. Go. All right, all right. Let us know what water

tastes like. It's sparkling, by the way. Should I scull it? Alright. Oh, go chug, chug, chug, chug, chug. Ah.

He couldn't even scull water. It's actually not bad. Well, do you want to try a bit? No. Why not? Because you just drank out of it. I actually don't. Oh, yeah, good point.

Someone in the front row said you might get cancer. That thing that I had. Which is very close to girl germs. You're right, you can get it the same way. God. All right, well, this will be... I don't like sparkling water. Lean back and I'll pour it into your mouth.

I don't like... We need to get a consensus on the podcast. I've said it's pretty good. No. A 41-year-old man being bullied into drinking water. Somewhere there is a Serbian garden runner with an extremely erect penis. All right, go, come on, hurry up. Oh, yes.

Oh, yes, queen. That's refreshing. Alright, well, we got to the bottom of what water tastes like, so... Yeah. The brand name is Horse Cum Sparkling Water. I don't know why... Oh, my God. That was delicious.

All right, well, I think that's just about time to get the first guest out, I think. Yeah. Stop! I've had enough! What? Hang on. We've had a stage invader. There's someone storming the stage.

Oh, watch out! Someone stormed the stage and then you gave a microphone to them, which is an interesting thing. Yeah, it's very unusual. It is pretty unusual. What's your deal? Oh, well, you guys read our Patreons every week, you do. Sorry, we'll translate that.

We read our Patreon names every week. I'll be English. Okay. Quite clearly, yeah Edinburgh Sorry, go on whoever you are Go on You guys read out Patreons every week

Sometimes two Sometimes three Sometimes even six. Go on. Well, you never read out mine. And I've been a Patreon subscriber. I sound like Austin Powers now. Dude, save some of that scenery for the rest of us, dude.

You never bloody read out my name I've been a bloody I've been a bloody I've been a Patreon subscriber for years Sorry man, I usually take charge of this Did you just call me Ben? I don't know who that is

Well, that's weird because I didn't say Ben That's weird because I heard it I would say it's probably not I didn't say Ben anyway. That's weird because I heard it, didn't I? I would say it's probably not... I think that's spooky. I think that's the spookiest shit I've ever seen. I've got to be honest, I don't even care who he is at this point. I'm just doing this. I'm definitely a kooky character, whatever that might be.

We haven't read your name out, so you're a listener to the show, you're a Patreon subscriber, we haven't read your name out so you're a listener to the show you're a patron subscriber we haven't read your name out I'm very sorry I'll take charge of this I'll check all the names sorry what is your name? my name is Mr Comedy

right man to be honest that look you're probably right that doesn't ring a bell with me Are you kidding? We read this guy out all the time

We've read him out like 8 times in a row Why would this guy storm the stage and affect an insane fucking accent Clearly because he's not well in the head This, man, I deeply apologise Mr, who was it? Mr who? Mr Comedy Mr Comedy, you.

Mr. Comedy. Sorry, man. I mean, actually, now you say that, like, I'm sure we haven't read your name out, but the name comedy does ring a... Have we had a comedy on before? Oh, we've had... We've had so many of them.

You've had some comedy... I've read a... You've made a bloody list, haven't I? Hello! Hello! Hello 400 episodes Are you there? Alright Okay Number one

Mrs Comedy Master Comedy Little Miss Comedy Grandpa Comedy Uncle Comedy Master comedy Little Miss comedy Grandpa comedy Uncle comedy Uncle comedy's gay husband Steve comedy That's a good one

Rebecca Jones comedy I don't remember the context of that but yeah it sounds good Mittens comedy The comedy family can Good one Isn't that cute? So are we paying you by the minute?

I hope so. Oprah comedy. King comedy. Rintine comedy. Tram comedy. Ding ding. I love the arts. Grab daddy comedy.

Might have written that one myself. It's not a bad idea. Write that down. Don comedy. Laugh comedy. You wrote that one. Foolish comedy Melbourne comedy Alright how do we make this end

Yeah how do we wrap this up Laugh comedy I don't know you didn't know Alright look we promise we'll read you out on this episode Even though we've already read you out so many times And we'll be blessed Thank you everyone Mr Comedy Mr Comedy. Mr Comedy, everyone.

Jesus Christ. Remind me, Tommy, next time we've got to get people to stick the scripts. All right, should we get our first guest out here? Please. Folks, this gentleman has not been on the show for quite some time. We are so stoked to have him back into the Little Dumb Dumb Club. Please, go crazy and welcome

into the Little Dumb Dumb Club, Larry Emder! Yeah! Man The best I think it's a mix of people excited to see you And also excited that that last bit is done I was up in the back room With that guy in the trench coat A mix of people excited to see you and also excited that that last bit is done. I was up in the back room with that guy in the trench coat, nothing on underneath, farting like a pig.

So I'm glad you got the best... Hey, congratulations, guys. 400. That's good, right? That's obviously a good thing in podcast land, yeah? Because I did, like like a 400 celebrity dog school and that was shit is that look hey we wish we could be on the rebooted celebrity dog school man that'd be fucking sweet

so have you got a dog I've got a cat and or are you a celebrity? Once you get... Yeah. Once you get that done, I was so excited to be here. I was so excited.

I'm out in the front before while you guys were doing this. I was really, like, pumped and felt good. And then someone comes up and goes, oh, come on down, you wanker! You got off...

Now I don't want to be here anymore. You got off actually pretty light. Wanker is pretty civilised for these savages. Yeah, I couldn't say what they really said because my boss hears it. I was going to say, wanker's like, that's entry-level dum-dum thing. Probably had his pinky extended as he said it as well.

But yeah, you did the show the first time we ever came to Sydney. You were on the podcast. Do you have any memory of that whatsoever? Yeah, I remember you guys being nice. Because when you asked me on this time, and I said to the boss, can I go and do this thing? And she said, are they nice guys? And I went, yeah, last time I did it, they were nice. But apparently now now everyone tells me

this show has turned to custard. That is a very... Now it's just a collection of words that I can't use on morning TV. When you said it's turned to custard I was like, the first two letters check out. And so do the last four as well. That's... Curd.

Curd. Custard. That's a D on the end. Curd. What? Oh man, I'm so glad I stayed awake for this. I could have just been home googling porn and I'm here watching you guys trying to dissect it.

Two syllables mate, two syllables. Oh right, right. Okay, alright, alright. I think I'm back. Tell me after the show. Cool. Ben, we're so... The morning show is the only show I watch on TV.

I fucking love it. So you're watching the morning TV? Yeah, yeah. That says a lot about you. Yeah, yeah. Not a lot of... Yeah, go on. I'm a massive fan.

So it was a dream to get you back on because I felt like when you were on the first time, we weren't fully formed We were still nice and not that popular now. We're not so nice and a little bit more popular So it's nice to get you back and and show how we've grown to you This is great. I always wanted to do crisis right to 300 drunk people Have you I tell you what

I tell you what Larry just you being on this show has made me go higher Have you ever wanted to crowd surf at an episode of Prices Right? You ever wanted to crowd surf at an episode of Price is Right? So all the pretty girls just going, oh, whatever, and the two guys down the front are licking their lips.

I'm not jumping in this video. It's not happening. I'm not doing it. It's not happening. Yeah, no, look, we've learnt back first over the years, but we... Yeah. Yeah, you only make that mistake once. Man, someone took my fucking driver's licence once, as I said.

They got into the wallet and just plucked the driver's licence out of the wallet. I don't know how they did it. That is some Ocean's Eleven shit. That's so good. Yeah, yeah. Apparently, when Grant Den you surfed, when he was here, he did this right, and he left pregnant with twins. Is that right? Yeah, that was just a studio whip.

That wasn't even a live one. Family. So anyway, there you are in the morning. Yes. Watching the morning show naked covered in sunpoil. Totally. Yeah, go on. Absolutely.

No, I do get... That's weird that you brought that up. I actually do what you knew. I am a person... It's weird that he brought that up I actually do what you knew I am a person it's weird that he brought it up you say I do I don't like to get dressed until about noon so that means nor do I

are those clothes just CGI'd on you when the midday movie comes on it's like alright it's time to put a shirt on. But I am a massive fan and you know what? I think that my... You know, people have that concept of a hall pass

or whatever. A hall pass, is that what you call it here? Is that what you call it? Is that what it's called? Is that what it's called here in Sydney? A hall pass. Like, if you... I'm married. Alright, mate. But... Clang. I'm married...

Is your wife sitting there watching that with you? No, she's at work. She has a job. Is it called hall pass in Australia? What's it called? So if I had a hall pass, it would totally be Kylie Gillies on the morning show.

No, no, I'm just, I'm just, I just... You know Lara, your friend and colleague. Yeah, you know her. He wants to fuck her. I didn't say that. And go. Yeah. I wouldn't be so crudous to say that. I just, I would like to meet her in the hall.

I believe that that's... And walk past her. So I'm just going to check how far my Uber is away. And you guys can carry on. But what's Kylie really like? Okay, alright. Creepy man in black bomber jacket. Back.

back he's thinking you sit there in your little red shoes and go oh yeah you're lucky I've got a bomber jacket on when I'm watching you I'm not used to watching you with so many clothes on you know the best bit about that is I was sitting here going this is really weird and thinking all of your fans would find that funny,

but everyone just went, oh, man, it's really weird. Like, you were there just on your own in your black vomit jacket, on your own. It is weird that we go, hey, you know what'll be great on the live podcast is having Larry Emder. People will be so into it. I just realised, as if any of these cunts are up before midday.

Yeah, yeah. That's very fair. We've got a lot of guests to go through, so we'll get some more out now. Yeah, we're going to have a couple of other guests. Larry's going to stick with us for the whole show. We're going to rotate other people out through

the evening. Please give it up for our next guests, Jen Fricker and Tom Ballard. I need to tell you the funniest thing that happened just then while Larry was getting introduced. So before you were like, this man has not been on the podcast for a little while

and Tom Bellis starts rising out of his seat and I'm like, oh, should I let him? And then I did. And then he's like, Larry Emder. And I'm like, oh, should I let him? And then I did. And then he's like, Larry, I'm done. And Tom's like, oh, no. Oh, my God. Time to go tell Carl what Kylie's really like. You creepy motherfucker.

Yeah. What is wrong with you? You talking about being attracted to anyone is the fucking worst. What's wrong with finding a lady attractive? I have memories. It is honestly my least favourite part of this podcast. By talking about ladies,

we get it. Carl, Chandler sexuals are unnatural and sinful and you shouldn't be allowed to get married and you very rarely do Too late, there's my... I remember you talking about Christina Ricci at length over the course of the podcast as well You're very attracted to her Oh, she's beautiful

It's not right, is it, Larry? It's not right. What? No. What's wrong with finding the beauty in people? No, nothing. It's just wrong when you do it. It's wrong when you do it on a smart TV, naked, covered in sump oil. That's right.

Hey, I don't have a smart TV. Yeah, right. This is the best prog rock show I've ever been to This is going a lot better than we expected It's an interaction for you guys We're about to head into hour two, this is good stuff Shit yeah Are you alright Carl, you look tired You good?

You sound autistic. Oh, he bloody got me! Love a good callback to something that's not on the podcast, but... That's a callback to a Western in the 40s. Some very nice stuff. When you were 20. There's so much love in the room and it's just nice to bask in that. So much positivity.

I think we found the real Mr Comedy. I can't believe we have to come out after Mr Comedy, Jen, do you know? I know. That guy was so English. He was every English. He was all of them. Every accent from England, he was them. He was them. He was all of them. He was from there.

Do you know what I liked? His wig. Yeah. And I liked when he took it off and it was the same hair. That's what I, that same hair. That's comedy. That's comedy. That's Mr Comedy, please. I'm sure that's the last we'll be seeing of him tonight. I feel like he was up here long enough.

So what we did... Someone baked us a cake for our 400th episode. Should I... I'll go and get it as you take over, Tommy. Oh, so what we did, someone baked us a cake for our 400th episode. Should I, should I, I'll go and get it as you take over, Tommy. Oh, okay. How many episodes would you have listened to, would you say, Larry? Because the right answer is, but if I've listened to any, I wouldn't be fucking here. That's the right answer. You're like most people in this room, you've just listened to the Larry Emder episodes.

Yeah, that's right. That's fair enough. Ah! Oh my gosh. Yeah, someone actually baked us, like a professional... baker? Baked us a proper cake. Oh wow, it's actually the first time I've...

You're late! Feels good, doesn't it? Yeah, it's actually the first time I've... Yodelay-ee-hoo! Feels good, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. Yodelay-ee-hoo! Birthday dear Papa, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you! I like the idea that there's someone in the crowd who it's actually their birthday today and they just pretended that was for them.

This is awesome. That was beautifully coordinated, by the way. How did you all know the words? And I love the bit when they come to happy birthday, dear, and then they all went, oh, should we call them cunts or should we call them fuckheads? No idea. They reached a consensus pretty quickly by the sounds of that.

Sound like a bunch of autistic people that you are. You've got to do the thing where you thank the cake person. You know, thanks for our dear friends at. Oh, thanks for, oh, yeah, okay, nice. Allied pig fits. I was dressed by Tony Barlow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shoes by John Carandonis.

Cake, cake, cake. It is from the good people at... Oh, fuck, I don't know how to say this. Pesticeria. Pesticeria. Pesticeria. Carl, truly you are a tard. Get Mr Comedy out here.

He's accent-sounding the bigger area this is from. That's not the brand name. No, that's what it is. Sorry, I'm sorry to tell you. See the bigger name? See the bigger name on the box? I reckon that's it. Okay, all right.

All right. How do you know? You work at the ABC. What the fuck would you know about that? Just found out all the... Now you know all the letters I will listen to Larry. I'm sorry. I've just got to tell you

mate to mate, Kylie doesn't like people who can't read. Is that fair? No, he needs to know. What the hell? Well, looks like I'm going back to school. Would you like to buy a vowel?

That's not your show! That's baby Larry Emder over there. The good people at... Fuck, now I'm going to struggle. The good people at... There's nothing in that name. The good people at... Cavall'm going to struggle the good people at cave the good people at Cavallaro

Cavallaro sure why not Cavallaro Cavallaro okay alright only three times and you

thought the Mr Comedy bit went for too long wait till you see us read a box

speaking of Kylie so sorry you see us read a box. Speaking of Kylie, so it has a thing on the top of it. It says... Can you read that? Or should Tommy read it? Pass it over here, big guy. I think I got this one. It says,

Happy 400th, Dunk Cunts. He did it! And in an extremely brave move, they've given us a knife this big. So where exactly were those hecklers from before? And it is a triple-tiered

chocolate mousse cake. So maybe after the show, like, I reckon even I'll struggle to eat this. So maybe after the show I'll chop it up and people can have a bit at the end or something. So, yeah. You holding a knife is the scariest thing I've ever seen. What did I mispronounce before? Nothing, nothing. Nothing, Mr Chandler.

You're perfect. I felt safer back on the cancer ward. Like, put it away. That's fucking... Can we just work out for a sec exactly how big the piece will be if everyone here gets a piece? Because, yeah, like...

There are some triple XLs in here, so I know that's a fair... Yeah, he killed it with triple xls in here so Yeah, he killed it with English. Let's see how he does with math You'll need to make a few slices do five Yeah later we can eat cake, that'll be good. What are you doing? Do you want to talk about your other presents, Carl? Oh, okay, should we... It's too much of a roll of the dice, I reckon.

Is it? Yeah, there's too many things that aren't that funny. Like, they'll be... No, but it'll be, oh fuck, this is awesome. Someone, oh my god. Someone bought, I presume me, some cheese-flavoured corn snacks called Carl. Alright, that's product of Thailand.

That is... That is some fucking impressive stuff. I feel genuinely spooked. How does that work? How does Thailand produce a product called Carl? It's clearly named after you. Am I back in the prog rock dream? What's going on?

Did you recognise it from the name printed or from the picture of that weird monkey? Man, I learnt that word ages ago. Are you going to try any? Or are they in the sparkling water category for you? I was going to bring them home, but okay. I guess that's what people want to hear. Me eating chips.

Oh it's gone bad. They taste like Carl. Can you give these to Kylie? Give them to Kylie, please. They're not bad. They're not bad. Is it going to be weird doing the show on Monday morning knowing there's a nude, oiled-up man? No. Now that I know he's watching, I'm axing myself.

I can never sit on that lounge again. Oh man. What do you think? Tastes like Thailand. They're shit chisels, that's what they are. Yeah, they're chisels that are too dumb to form in a proper circle so they've just tried to kill themselves halfway through. It works better if you've actually looked in the bag, which no one in the audience has,

so... Yeah, they can't even fucking close the fucking check. Oh, look. C for Carl. The product's Carl with a K. What? Jen, what do you think? They're weirdly smoky.

I don't know. They don't feel right, that's for sure. Definitely made by small children. It's sucking the moisture out of my mouth. Well, thank you for whoever brought me carl chips. I think they're getting unnecessary flack. I think they're very much like me in a way. And I'm in all of your mouths right now.

Is it that it makes me sick? Is that what it is? Shall we get into a little thing that... Tom Ballard, you wanted to you hit us up, you wanted to prepare something for tonight so you messaged us and you asked us hey, because you've listened to this show from the beginning

right? Yes. Like you've been on the show heaps of times you asked if you could come and do a roast of us. Right. Which Roast the fun. I really do. It's not really like...

You know, we've done 400 episodes. You know, there should be a little bit of respect, you know, for us. Especially on such a milestone episode. So it's like... It didn't feel right. You know, it didn't feel right just come up here and shit on us.

You know, it's like a big night for us. I mean, we had good stuff. We're up here eating chips, for God's sake. This is a fucking landmark episode. This is a pro outfit. So instead, we've convinced you to, since you're an actual listener, a bit more of a fitting tribute. A loving tribute.

A loving tribute, yes. Well, it was a great night. I've done a few roasts for you guys. They've always been super fun and stuff. But yes, you did convince me that. Yeah, 400 episodes. It's fucking amazing, right? And everybody in this room

loves this show. Thank you. Thank you. So, yes. I thought a tribute might have been a little bit more appropriate. So this is a tribute to the Little Dumb Dumb Club on the 400th episode. 400 episodes of the Little Dumb Dumb Club. Thank you. An unbelievable achievement. I'm tearing up already. This is beautiful.

I can't believe this. All positive so far. I love this. Yeah. Thank you. I can't believe this. All positive so far. I love this. Yeah. It's hard to believe. The idea that this show would continue for this long, that we'd find any success at all, any kind of actual, sustained, financially rewarding...

I feel like we're veering off. No, no, no. Hear him out. Legal success defies logic or any sense that we live in a rational universe. And yet, here we are on a technicality.

You definitely emailed him to say the positive. I did. We had the conversation. I love the Dum Dum Club, truly. It's up there with the cultural greats. I'd say it's the Frasier of podcasting. How dare you? For me, it's up there with Star Wars and the Red Hot Chili Peppers. If you told me back in 2010 when I appeared on episode 6 of this podcast

and you told me this thing would still be running 397 episodes later, I'd say, that's fucking crazy. And then I'd say, hang on, is Donald Trump the president? You'd say, yep, and I'd go, yeah, that sounds about right. I listened back to that episode today, actually, episode 6 from 2010, and it made me laugh at how different the show was and how different you guys were and how much we've all changed. Let's have a listen to just the first 30 seconds of that episode.

Welcome to another edition of the Little Dumb Dumb Club. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo. Sitting opposite me, the other host of the show, Mr. Carl Chandler. G'day dickhead. Hey mate. A little bit drunk because he's been at a butt stew this afternoon. Rocked in 20 minutes late. Answered the door and was standing there eating a... Was it a bacon deluxe or a waffle? Chomping on a double cheeseburger.

Chomping on a double cheeseburger with a little Coke in his hand, wearing his little hat. A simpler time. Can you believe That was eight years ago Telling a boring stupid story About drunkenness and fast food How you've grown

If that story was on today's little dum-dum club It'd be completely different Carl would have been to his own bucks party And it would have been set in Thailand The dum-dum club is one of a kind No one else could or would it'd be completely different. Carl would have been to his own Bucks party and it would have been set in Thailand. The Dumb Dumb Club is one of a kind. No one else could or would make a podcast like this, particularly in a post

Me Too world. Brave. I think so. I love you guys. Carl, are you alright? This is a tribute. I'm listening to most of it. I'm tearing up. I'm not quite sure why though In 2018 most people

would have abandoned casual racism fat shaming, homophobic phrases like hey poofs That's not us That's one guest that does that You invite him back Or comedic ideas like hey hey it's black Saturday as forms of entertainment or comedic ideas like, hey, hey, it's Black Saturday,

as forms of entertainment. But not you, Tommy and Carl. You went a different way with it, and that's really interesting. You proved them all wrong, Tommy and Carl. You proved them wrong. They said the world doesn't need another podcast with two shitty comedians talking shit about comedy and their shitty, shitty lives

in shitty, shitty detail. But you proved them wrong. They said this show will never last. The two hosts clearly hate spending time with each other. But you kind of worked around that. They said,

don't waste all your time and energy on this. Focus on your stand-up, they said. They said, make sure your stand-up on this. Focus on your stand-up, they said. They said, make sure your stand-up's good. Work on your stand-up at least. That's your bed and butter. Spend maybe an hour on the podcast a week, maybe, but make sure the stand-up's still good so that people who like the podcast

will come and see good stand-up. But you turn that all upside down. It's a tribute, I love you guys. They said no one would ever book Michael Hing and Paul Footer's guests together, but you proved them right. They said the outro of a podcast shouldn't be twice as long as the actual episode with the guests. But you showed them that's not necessarily true. They said Austereo won't keep employing you.

And so you left. They said, wow, seeing as this podcast has been such an amazing launchpad for new talents like Luke McGregor, D-Rock Jive Singer and Ed Edmonds, it's bound to work out just as well for the hosts. But you proved them wrong. You did it. They said let's do seven, but you said, let's do five. You're my heroes, guys.

Tommy, you're an inspiration to me, right? Through your example, you've shown... Oh, God. It's a tribute. I didn't do the roast, so you should be happy about this. This is nice. Yeah, yeah, keep going. You've shown through your example... You've shown everyone that if you overcome cancer and are given the precious gift of life, you shouldn't feel pressured to do something with that gift.

You live your truth. And you've shown the world that it's not always easy for straight white men and then there's Carl Carl comedy channel I love you Carl I know you don't know what that emotion is but I love you, Carl. I know you don't know what that emotion is, but...

I love you. You are the Kanye to my Kim. The Megan to my Harry. The Crunchy to my Carl. Or Diane, I guess, whatever. Don't... Don't say her name. On that episode six, you guess, whatever. Don't! Don't say her name. On that episode six, you said her name.

Don't listen to that one. Sure, Carl, your youth is gone. Sure, you're not the funniest comedian around. Sure, you're not the nicest one either. Sure, your knowledge about the world and emotional intelligence are practically non-existent You refuse to learn or change or accommodate

other people's needs and experiences Sure, you're bitter about your lack of success in showbiz and most times when you talk about attractive women, you sound exceptionally creepy and everyone wishes you would stop I wrote that before the show I feel an upwards trend coming This is good Everyone wishes you would stop. I wrote that before the show. I feel an upwards trend coming.

This is good. Sure, your eyes are popping out of your head in a way that suggests you suffer from fetal alcohol spectrum disorder. I agree. Carl, it's always darkest before the dawn, okay? Sure, your anus may be a bit torn around the edges. Sure, you wouldn't let me roast you tonight, but I still love you, man. And I always will.

You too, Tommy, because you've given us the Little Dum Dum Club. Over these past eight years, whenever I need a laugh, whenever I've been homesick for the Melbourne comedy scene, whenever I want to hear another hastily written adventure featuring Rad Dad, whenever I want to hear a great story about a door, or whenever I need something to listen to because I'm just exhausted from having lots of gay anal sex,

the Little Dum Dum Club has always been there for me. to listen to because I'm just exhausted from having lots of gay anal sex. The little dum-dum club has always been there for me. Over these past 400 years, 400 episodes Sorry, that's a time, that was a Carl H thing. Sorry. After these past 400 episodes, sure

you've got Tim. From before. But you've also got us. You may be dumb cunts. I've had a lot of cocaine. You may be dumb cunts, but you're our dumb cunts. Congratulations on 400 episodes. But you're our dumb cunts. Congratulations, applaud on episode. Hey, hey.

Guys, give it up for Tom Ballard, bucking the trend that all gay men are funny and skinny. Please, guys. Thank you, guys. I've known you about 12 years. It's the nicest shit you've ever said to me, man. I really appreciate that. Fuck up, Con. Alright, Jen, your turn. What have you got? I

was worried I was walking into a Me Too moment. And I'm at the Giant Dwarf Theatre if anyone wants to come and get me. Give it up for Tom Ballard and Jen Fricker, everybody! And as mentioned up the top of the episode this week, Carl, we are sponsored by a collaboration between Vans and Marvel, sharing

their rich heritage rooted in creative expression and empowerment. They have joined forces once again on their largest collaboration to date. It's a huge range of co-branded footwear, apparel and accessories, featuring an all-star roster of iconic personas including the Avengers, Captain Marvel, Deadpool,

Iron Man, the Hulk and more. All of those people have appeared on this show, I think. All friends of the show. Yes. Now, we've got a pair of these sneakers each. Yeah, we do. Which ones have you got? I got the checkerboard, the classic Vance checkerboard style with the Hulk's feet poking through.

Oh, really? Yeah. Which ones did you get? I got the Deadpool ones. Oh, man, you're a lot like Deadpool. Yeah, I'm cool, man. You're often breaking the Deadpool ones. Oh, that's, man, you're a lot like Deadpool. Yeah, I'm cool, man. You're often breaking the fourth wall. Yeah, a lot of people often say to me,

weren't you the guy in Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place? And I'm like, yes, I was. I was the pizza place. They are running an Australian competition. You can enter the draw to win three pairs of shoes from the Vans and Marvel collection. Visit vans.com.au slash planet broadcasting and answer the question, which superhero would be the best skateboarder and why?

Oh, wow. Have you got an answer for this one? I love it. I love when – you know you see sometimes those competitions where it's like – it's important that you add on the and why at the end. Do you know what I mean? Because otherwise people could just go Thor. Yeah.

Who's your answer? Mine would be Captain Tubular, obviously, the famous superhero. He'd be good at that. Oh, yeah. Is the Mambo Farting Dog, is that Marvel? Ollie Man? He'd be pretty good. Is that a superhero?

So the competition runs from the 4th of June until midnight on the 15th of June. Oh, that is a – they're giving you a slim window there. I've got an answer. What? Can I enter this competition? I think you're probably excluded, but sure. I'll put this in there. Tony Hawkman.

What do you think? God. Hawkman. Tony Hawkman. No, no, I got it. No, no, I got it. It's pretty good. That's good.

That's pretty good. No, but, well, that's not the full answer. And why? Oh, because he sounds like Tony Hawk. There's the full answer. That's so sick. You know what? Everyone should enter this competition with that answer

and really freak out the people at Vans and Marvel. Vans and Marvel are going to go, man, there is a lot of fucking funny people out there. Yeah. So the Vans Marvel collection will be available to shop at Vans retail stores globally beginning June 8th, and you can visit vans.com.au for more information. We got a sneak peek. We got sent

pictures of these and we got told they're under embargo. We couldn't reveal the pictures. Yeah, no, I mean, you know, we've already made our choice of what we think looks cool, obviously by the choices we've made but yeah, I like the Deadpool ones. Good footwear. You know Vans, they're a great brand

and yeah, if you're into comics and Marvel and that kind of stuff, this should be right in your wheelhouse. Some great designs out there so go check all that stuff out. When are we doing a Vans-Dum-Dum collab with footwear? Oh fuck, that'd be so good. I reckon we're a bit more Crocs if anything.

Crocs-Dum-Dum. Anyway, let's get back into the highly litigious second half of this episode. Enough of getting money off companies, let's get back into the highly litigious second half of this episode. Enough of getting money off companies. Let's get back to us being sued by individuals. We're going to welcome our next two guests out here alongside Larry. Please welcome Adam Richard and Merrick Watts. What happened to Meza? We lost him.

Yeah, where's he gone? Oh, God. Thank you. Merrick Watts, everyone. How funny is Larry? Just shitting himself backstage to the point where I was taking photos of it. So good. I put the spooks into Larry too, didn't I, Laz? At the back there, I was saying, oh, I don't know, I bet your television career after this.

I said, but I came on years ago and they were really nice. He went, oh, oh no it's all changed by the way Larry on behalf of my people can I apologise for that woke faggot that's just hideous fat arsehole Jesus

the funny thing is when you said my people I went are you talking about the North Pole? I have sucked off a polar bear. Good to be here, boys. Good to be here. It's been a bit nice so far, so it's good to have you guys

come on and punt it up a little bit. A guest coming on and caning the other guest is a welcome fucking gift for us. I've got to say, there's no greater pleasure than being a comedian and sharing it with two of your favourite comedians. So thanks, Tom, Jen, that was awesome. I thought he meant us!

Alright, it's been 400 episodes. When are we going to stop bullying these two? And convincing them that people like them? It's been funny, guys, but you've got to stop giving them money. They think you mean it. It's hilarious. It's hilarious.

I got some really bad news for you two, guys, because every time that we appear on a show together, it gets boned. So Celebrity Dog School. Celebrity Dog School we did together. Axed. Like axed within two weeks.

It went from prime time to midday on Saturday. And you know what? Who could have seen that coming with a name like Celebrity Dog School? So Larry, you were the host of that show. I don't want to talk about it. It's not important now. Then the next show was Celebrity Splash. And who would have looked at this man and went,

oh, yeah, Australia wants to see him in Speedos. We're going to roll that shit out for years. Although, Larry, I did think it was your fault for a long time. And then I took over Speaks and Specks. And you weren't there and that got axed too. Man, don't bring that show up because Joshua listens and he's going to have to go and see the therapist again. That's the reason we got you on this.

We want out. Like, we're hoping this is fucking pleased someone. Hold my beer. If anyone could shut down the show, fucking me. I'm the radio Part of that What do you mean? If you've got a radio show And you're just going

Oh I don't know about this one Get Watsy in Right now Right now there's people just saying What's our strategy Strategy with Emrushiana Carl we're going to make the papers What's Merrick doing? with Emorushiana. Carl, we're going to make the papers.

What's Merrick doing? Chandler, give me that knife. My veins are looking a little too close right now. I've shown you where the gap is. I'll drive you out there tomorrow. It'll be fun. Wait, you showed me where a gap is. Is that... Don't jump off that one. To be fair, Tommy, Wait, you showed me where a gap is.

Don't jump off that one. To be fair, Tommy, I think the end result is about the same. It's taken just as many lives. It's an abuse. You'll never be seen again. Whichever one you go into. Are we still talking about Em's radio career? Oh, my God.

Where's the edit point going to be? That would make a great episode if Em did a live broadcast from The Gap and the whole time we're like, is she going to go over? Or is she going to call Lifeline? What's going to happen? And Larry, Larry, for God's sake, throw to an infomercial. I was going to say, if I say... Go to a break, Larry, go for God's sake throw to an infomercial I was going to say if I go to a break Larry go to a break

if I say now here's Karen with an Ab King Pro does this stop? does this shit just stop now? there is no Ab King Pro

in this place it's going to be great when everyone here sees the episode go up on Wednesday night and it says with guest Larry and Tom Ballard

and Jen Frick it'll be like I thought there were two other guys that were up there at some point. Next week, Emrushiano. You know what the worst thing is? We're going to Thailand in a week. Tommy's going in like a couple of days.

He's going to have to edit this on holiday. Who's going to do that? Maybe I'll put it up right before I get on the flight, just unedited. You know, like that woman that sent the tweet about AIDS and then got on that international flight? Just land and get on the Twitter and go, what's my life now, boys? I'm free, I'm never coming home.

Yeah, imagine you getting off and going, oh no, my career is ruined. It would be the first time that anyone actually went from being a nobody to a somebody because they did something wrong. Thank you. Did you write a tribute as well?

That's beautiful. Is Ballard inside you in some sort of weird babushka doll? Just a little bit of him. If I had ovaries it would grow. Man, what a shame we have to abandon this whole episode. I know. The whole thing with there being an edit point is we have to be able to come back in at some point. So far we're

just still in international waters. I warned you, Larry. No way. I warned you. No way. I warned you. I said you should have listened to the last few episodes. I said that you should have been the one they did with Nazeem. Oh my god. Saw all these pretty chairs from

Grant Denya's dressing room and I thought this would be fun. Look at it now. Look at it now. No, they're full size. No, no, no, this is his fold-out sofa bed. fold out sofa beds. Sorry, my mistake. He works. This is nearly like how long this is going to take.

Seriously, I'm going to go. About 20 minutes ago, I think it's gone. Yeah, it's got to end soon. Someone put it down. Yeah, just in general. Call Dr. Harry. Let's eat some snacks

called Tom and move on. Yeah, is there any? No. Yeah, just eat some random stuff. Someone gave us a copy of the Home Improvement board game. Oh, that's good. It is good, isn't it? I used to have a bit of a crush on old mate

Al. Me too. Oh. Was Al your hall pastor? Did you used to sit in front of the TV naked covered in Vaseline? I've got a callus on this hand from Al. Is that called an Alice? An Alice. An Al callus.

And occasionally, I used to think about Wilson, but then... You get a splinter. Just the mystery of what's behind the fence could be anything. That's generally how I have it. Not really, if there's a glory hole. You don't have to see their face. The dick's there. Isn't that funny? You said what's behind the fence.

I was thinking that's a great name for a game show. Then you went there and I'm like, it's no longer a game show. Larry, I agreed to do a television show called Hole in the Wall. That was not what I was expecting when I got there. Is that what you did to get the job? Or that was the job?

Well, that's what it was called. Boo! Boo! Look, Jules Lund was happy with my work either way. Man, I... What? I think we've broken Larry. I don't think he can come back.

He's all right. This is going to be Larry... I just want to go home and Google myself. With a nice warm glass of milk. You'll be all right, Larry. On Monday you'll be back to... Will you stop saying you'll be all right? I've been axed ten times over here tonight.

You know the best thing about this podcast is you never really know when it's going up. It's like a time bomb. And you forget all the things you've said and then one day you get a text going, oh, mate, brutal. What did I say? You're going to turn on the morning show on Monday morning.

It's going to be Kylie and the cash cow. I'm not going to be there. I'm not even going to be there. It's going to turn on the morning show on Monday morning It's going to be Kylie and the cash cow I'm not going to be there I'm not even going to be there And who do you think's inside that cash cow suit? The big seller It'll be Kylie Hold pass, hold pass, hold pass Kylie the cash cow

And Amrushiano as well Oh, we got away so we were clear They're not putting her on television Kashkow and Emrushiano as well. Oh, we've got to wait until we're clear. They're not putting her on television. She's difficult to look at. Oh! So when you say she's difficult to look at, when you were standing on the diving board in Celebrity Splash in Speedos,

did you think Australia was maybe thinking that about you? I don't even know. I'm just putting it out there because it's the end of the night and I'm bored. I think you're correct, Larry. And when you were on Celebrity Dog School, who was your celebrity? You know before...

Comedy! Comedy! You know before, when Larry said, you know, do you have a dog and are you a celebrity? Neither of those things were true of me when I was on the show. We made you a star. We made you a star. My dog died, Larry.

Yeah, I know, but how good was that episode You know what It got through all three hoops Before it did That's really lovely And the dipper fell on it Should we wrap this up We've got time for another few references to Emre Cano? We've got at least another 20 minutes, guys. Come on.

We've got one more thing. No. No. Oh, yeah. Yeah? We'll do this one thing. Oh, yeah. We do have a special guest.

We'll do this thing quickly. Now, you didn't want this to happen. I think it's great. I think it's worth having. Okay. Guys, someone who gets talked about on the podcast a lot who's never I think it's worth having okay guys someone who gets talked about on the podcast a lot

who's never been on it before they flew up here to watch the show and to support the show and

I reckon we should get them up here you don't think that's the case I'm not a big fan but I talked to them

and they're into it and I reckon that the people want to see this person. Okay. Someone who's been talked about on the show a lot. Guys, please. Let's get a huge round of applause going for Carl's wife.

Yes. Yes! This is so good! I wouldn't have said all those awful things about Emorushiano if I knew you'd married her. This is better than the footy show! Yeah! Yo! It's me! This is better than the footy show. Yeah. Yo. Hey. It's me.

Mrs. Chill. This is my sweetie, my. Whoa. Oh, my God. Good to see you. Can I just say quickly, I loved you in Scent of a Woman. You're going to kill this boy. You're putting him to death because he's a good boy.

That's from Scent of a Woman. Thank you. Keep your legs son of a woman. Thank you. Keep your legs together, Swagpig. No. Watch out. Don't stick it into me. Are you cool with my whole pass? Oh, big yeah.

I mean, hypothetically, I could never drift from this. Prove it. No. Not comedically nor relationship-wise. You can never drift from this. Wow! Do you have any questions for my wife? Yeah.

Do I? Do you. Let me check. I hate that. I love how much preparation goes into this. So, yeah, okay. So, Mrs Chandler, what's your first name? We've never had that on the pod.

I don't even know anymore. Mrs Chandler. That's all I know. Okay. All right. How, um... How did you think this was a bad idea? This question just popped into my head.

How was the wedding night? Oh, wow. That wedding night. Chandler, I call him baby. He pulls out his signature sex move. They call it the

duck's the fuck sandwich. I fucked it up. Wow. They call it the ducks the fuck sandwich I fucked it up Wow I'm a big fan Thank you Carl Did you get a tip? Huge I'm very close to your wife

She smells like Lynx Africa I thought you were about to ask I thought you were about to ask if she could be your hall pass

swapsie the price is right that was a show that you did one time that's what I was saying so this question just popped into my head Carl had an issue with some of your guests not bringing gifts to the wedding

how did you feel about it? oh did he? Did he mention that? Any time. This is the first I have heard of it. This is the first I have heard of a present of a wedding thing. He has never mentioned that ever. Except for Limo.

Give me my toaster, you cunt! Did you get a tip? I'm coming for you! Did you get a tip off that there's some scouts from NIDA in here or something? I do commercials. So, Mrs Chandler, what do you think of Carl going to Thailand all the time? Oh, wow. Anytime he's away, like God bless me, on the chin, he goes away for two weeks, I come back, he's at my doorstep,

that's the time I call the STI appointments. Watch out! You look like you're all done with your sheet of paper. Oh, big time. I can't believe you married one of the old Price is Right models. I was right. Old is right. I've done.

Wow. Okay. It looks like it's born already. No. It's stillborn. Oh. What? You guys are animals and you're offended by that?

Grow the fuck off. It's too late. So for the listener at home, you're very clearly pregnant. I'm so pregnant. I'm like a grape on the vine. So sweet. I'm about to pop, baby. All right.

Let me, hang on. I'll do the delivery. I'll get in there. I'll get right in there. I'm not wearing underpants. Oh my god, your pussy stinks. Your pussy smells like a man's cock. Alright, it's a beautiful baby boy.

Is the microphone on? All right, it's a beautiful baby boy. Wow. Where, where, where, where is the microphone on? Where, where, where? I'm baby comedy. I wasn't stillborn at all. Baby comedy, that means... What, baby? Baby comedy. Baby comedy, that's me.

You mean baby Chandler. No, baby? Baby comedy. Baby comedy, that's me. You mean baby Chandler? No, baby comedy. Mr Comedy's me fucking father. He had sex with Diane without a condom. Oh, no. You all right? I can't see what's going on out there. Is it going well?

No, not really. No, it is not. Are you all right, Carl? You look tired. All right, we've got to wrap this up. Oh, please. And for the people at home listening, thank you for listening to our five-minute episode.

Folks, give it up for Adam Richard, Eric Watts, Larry Emder, Jen Fricker, Tom Ballard, Diane and Mr Comedy, a.k.a. Ben Russell. Guys, thank you so much

for coming out to check out the little dumb mum club and to everyone listening at home we love you guys and we'll see you next time see ya mates and welcome once again to another edition of Talking Dumb Dumb

we've done it again. Boy oh boy, lots to talk about this week. What an episode. Was that fun? It was a fun night. You know, it's weird doing this wrap up of the episode while the hangover from the episode is still in full effect for me. So it's kind of, I don't know, it's hard to look back on and judge whether it actually was a good thing or not.

Yeah, look. I'm sure in a month's time I'll feel good about it, but right now? Yeah. Yeah. It's a tough one. I get – it's something I feel regret over that I tend not to enjoy the day as much as I should be because I'm stressing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like it's all – it just consumes your mind. It's hard to relax. It's doing the stand-up first and so having to stand up to think about and organise and then all the content for the podcast to worry about whatever it's a it's a big day i'd i'd need you know what we've got to book ourselves one of these dates where it's just stand up and we promise everyone that we're not going to think about it it's like hey come along it's 10 bucks we're not going to give a shit about this if it's funny great um but i just don't want to stress about it i just want to walk out and have

fun yeah you're right you're right it is like I've been trying more and more when we do these big live shows too because we've done, I think the 300th one that we did, I didn't really have a good night because I was so stressed. And, like, the next, that was, like, the biggest crowd that we'd done up to that point. And I got up the next day and I was like, oh, that's a bummer. I actually didn't remind myself to, like, actually have fun. So I'm a lot more, like, when we did the Opera House,

I was like, this is going to be a big stress, but I've just got to remind myself to like, let myself enjoy it. Like, I've got to like detach and just like be aware of it and go, yes,

it is a stress, but don't lose sight of the fact that this is like really, really cool and really, really fun. Yeah. Which yesterday was,

but yeah, it was, it was exhausting. A lot, a lot to do, but hey, you know what? It came off.

Great show. Yeah. I thought, great to meet all the people. Thanks for coming down. Thanks to everyone you know what? It came off. Great show, I thought. Great to meet all the people. Thanks for coming down. Thanks to everyone who said nice things to us afterwards. Thanks to people who came to the after party. That was a lot of fun.

Yep. Our friend Andrew Levins DJed until 3 a.m. Good times. Us taking over a club, that was cool. I want to do more after parties. Yeah. I want to get to a point where we're not even doing shows anymore. We're just running after parties.

Let's become nightclub promoters. Yeah. We need to find a place we can, you know, like a very unsuccessful place that we can just completely take over. Yeah. Because there was still like normal people wanting to have a nightclub experience on a Saturday night and there's all of our dorks in there and us going, no, we need a little podcast.

You turning up with a suitcase at midnight. Yes. So there was like cool people there. So we couldn't quite take it over. We need to find an unsuccessful nightclub to have an after party at. Yeah, I don't know that that would be much fun though. Yes, it would. We'd be the kings of the nightclub.

We'd be the kings of a shit nightclub. Yeah, that's better than being not kings of a normal nightclub. I disagree. I'd rather be somewhere good. But so what do we going to talk about? Well, look, again, interesting episode there. I hope you enjoyed whatever made it through, whatever made it through to the edit.

I think we should just bin the whole thing and just make this the ep. A big, big thank you and a big reminder that it's very nice of the individuals who were on the show to come on the show and to be respectful of them and thank them on social media or whatever you need to do and not, you know, make everyone think that they've made the right decision by being part of our show. Yes, correct. So treat everyone with respect.

Correct. Just if you took offence at anything, just keep it to yourself and whatever you need to do because we want to have our friends come back on the show and not think, oh, this is a dangerous thing to do. Just be cool. If it was funny, enjoy it. If it wasn't and you took umbrage, just suck it up. You're allowed to do that.

You're allowed to not enjoy something and keep fucking quiet about it. That's it. Everyone thinks at the moment that for them to just not enjoy something is some kind of personal attack. You're allowed to have preferences. You're allowed to have some kind of like personal attack you're allowed to have preferences you're allowed to have things that are your favourite and you're allowed to have things that are not your favourite

doesn't mean you have to let anyone fucking know about it doesn't mean anyone cares yeah I don't you know I had ice cream I didn't enjoy the other day I didn't fucking ring up

Baskin Robbins and fucking rinse them so just you know take my lead I wouldn't put it past you though no I'm not one of them I'm not one of them I don't want to

I've been on the other end of that too many times. Yeah, true. Yeah, true. So, yeah,

heaps of fun. What we've got coming up, of course, is Koh Samui now. So, as you're hearing this, there is but a few days to go until,

there's like a week to go until that all starts. So, you know, and again, we're fascinated with the idea of anyone doing a last minute trip. So,

please, you know, should we, is there a prize we can offer up? Is there a prize? We've talked about this, yeah. What about if we... So anyone booking in now, you're booking in with one week to go. Exactly one week to go from today, from when people are hearing this.

What sort of prize can we offer? I love the idea of someone booking in with a week to go. Getting accommodation, booking and getting their ticket with a week to go. What would be the sort of – We'll take you out for a meal there. Because that's very low financial investment on our end. No, you know what? We should talk on the show to the –

if you want to be talked to on the show about your decision, we'll do that. Okay. So, if someone books in from now until then in the last week yeah and you can prove that you bought your comm

you bought your ticket in that last week between now and the festival starting we'll come and talk to you you'll be interviewed okay yep

you can be on the show yeah is that but I think a lot of people don't want that either you can have that or we'll take you out for a meal okay you can pick one great if you're one of these like Yeah, yeah. Is that – but I think a lot of people don't want that either. You can have that or we'll take you out for a meal. Okay, great.

You can pick one. Great. If you're one of these like – what is it? Shrinking violet? Yes. If you're one of those types, you get a free meal. Yeah. If you're some fucking –

If you're a growing violet, you can be on the show. If you're an expanding violet. If you're a grower, not a show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, that's good. Yeah. Yeah, because some people do hit me up individually about subscribing on Patreon and go, I want to contribute.

I just don't want my fucking name associated with your show, which I find- Fair enough. I find that very surprising. Like, it's just your name being read out. Big deal. Yeah, I don't know. Not everyone's fucked like we are, though. So you're allowed to subscribe.

Just so you know, you're allowed to subscribe. And if that's holding anyone back, we don't have to read your name out. Just let me know when you're subscribing. Funny to think that this thing that we don't even really want to do is possibly meaning that we get less money. Well, it's very classic, like our life. Like, you can't win either way. You've got people fucking knocking our doors down and going, yeah, I subscribed yesterday

and you haven't even read my name out yet. And now you're getting people going, I don't want my name read out. So, yeah, great. I love my life. Me too. I love comedy. Yeah. I wish I was dead right now.

So, yeah, as you hear this right now, we are both overseas already. I'm in Hong Kong, baby. I'm in a little place called Koh Samui. Oh, yes. Yes. I'm in a little place called Koh Samui. Oh, yes. Yes. I should plug this. If anyone is in Hong Kong, I'm doing spots at the Takeout Comedy Club on the 8th and 9th of June, this Friday and Saturday, if you're there.

A few people have hit me up on the socials to say, oh, I saw you're going to be in Hong Kong. I live there. Oh, nice. Yeah. Honkers. Yeah. Shout out to anyone in Honkers.

The Hong Kong massive. And, you know, Yeah. Shout out to anyone in Honkers. The Hong Kong massive. And, you know, the people that listen to us in Asia, there should be more of them coming to Samui. You know, you've got no excuse. It's only like a hundred buck plane fare, isn't it? I found that very funny, the people in Hong Kong that are like, they're like, oh, cool. Yeah, it'd be lovely to meet you and like have a drink after a show or whatever.

It's like, well, clearly you're not coming to Koh Samui. Yeah, yeah. It's a three-hour flight. Yeah. Yeah. You motherfuckers. Although three-hour flight. Yeah. Yeah. You motherfuckers. Although a three-hour flight is still a fair commitment. It's like saying, oh, I'm doing a show in fucking Perth.

Just fly there from Melbourne. Yeah, good point. And it is also like, hey, just take a week off work to come to this fucking dumb thing. Anyway. But look, that's a massive credit to the people who are going to Costa Mili from Australia or America or whatever because that's fucking – The American one is crazy. Having booked flights for Gareth Reynolds and seeing how long it takes.

It's like 24 hours or 20 minutes. And how much it is. Yeah. It's fucking – hats off to you if you're coming from the States. That's huge. Yeah, yeah. Who have we got coming so far? We've got obviously a lot of Australians.

We've got some Americans. There's a few Americans and that's the thing. I'm pretty sure like Gareth, he's coming from LA. Which is the easiest point to come from. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So there's some people coming from like, I think there's a couple of people.

There's like a New York and Massachusetts, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we've got some English, I think. Yeah. Oh, a couple of Brits. Yep. A couple of Brits coming. I know we have a Swiss gentleman.

Yep. One of our favourite Patreon subscribers, Christian Breaker. He's coming. Is he a favourite Patreon subscriber? Well, he's a very high echelon one. Oh, is he really? So that's why he's one of... I mean, he's a favourite because we hung out with him last year. Yeah, he's a lovely bloke. Yeah. He's, very high echelon one. Oh, is he really? So that's why he's one of them. I mean, he's a favourite because we hung out with him last year.

Yeah, he's a lovely bloke. Yeah. You know what? He, young Christian, not only is he a high echelon Patreon subscriber, but he's the perfect podcast listener where he comes along, he's a nice bloke, he doesn't even need to give us a jab in the ribs. He just comes along and goes, man, I enjoy what you do. He's a unicorn.

Yeah. Makes me very suspect. Like I'm too conditioned by just the battering that we've received. I'm like, what's this guy's fucking angle? There must be something. Yeah. Well, he's Swiss, so he's obviously laundering fucking big time drug money. That's what's happening.

Yeah. And he doesn't want to give a shit in case we start digging. I think that's it. Okay. Interesting. Interesting. But yeah, so there's English, there's Swiss, there's... Is there anything else?

I feel like there's a couple of other countries. There probably is. I haven't really looked through the... There's some people coming from Asia. There are some people coming from Asia. Oh, we've got someone from China coming. Yep, yep. So it's a bloody world.

It's the best of planet Earth. It's a melting pot. Yeah. It's a smorgasbord. Okay, so that's to come. You're about to. It's a smorgasbord. Okay. So that's to come. You're about to get a bunch of episodes in the following weeks. Yep.

Not next week, but a couple of weeks after that. It's going to yawn right into the mic. So get on the social medias. We'll be sort of, I guess, what do you call it? Recording what we do. Posting. Posting. Posting. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. There'll be a lot of vision. There'll be a lot of pictures. There'll be a lot of fun audio stuff coming up in the next month or so. Hell yeah. Yeah. So.

And for all the people that hit us up and go, again, we're busy. We might come in 2019. There are no current plans to do 2019. So if this thing goes fucking crazy, who knows? We don't know what we're doing. We don't know what we're doing. We don't know what we're doing. I mean, the only sure thing in life is I will be going back to Koh Samui. Who knows if anyone else will be?

So what we do at the back end of this show is we do a little thank you to all the people who support this show, who keep this show alive, who keep this show on life support. Thank you very, very much. As we've already mentioned to Christian, our Swiss miss. We have some new people to read out this week due to the unplanned title alternator.

We randomly pick some names of supporters of the show and we give them a very heartfelt thank you for keeping us afloat, for keeping our bellies full, for keeping the lights on. Giving us a little scratch behind the ears. Yeah. A little rub on the tummy. Both financially and metaphorically and morally.

Yeah. So thank you. Let's crack in. Let's hit the big red button once more. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Ben Dolby. Dolby Surround Sound. Yeah. Hell yes.

Surrounding us with cash. Yes. Yeah. Except this is like the Thai Dolby Surround Sound because it's spelt wrong. It's D-A-L-B-Y. Dalby. Yeah, Dalby. Why did you say a different word?

No, because D-A-L-B-Y, that's not necessarily pronounced Dalby. That could easily be Dalby. Oh, that's a long bow you've drawn there. No, I don't think it is. I think it's a very fine bow. It's an appropriate bow. A small bow.

A short bow. It's a medium bow, which could go either way. Yep. Because if you, like, if his name was Walby, like, Walby is like W-A-L, like that. Okay. Yeah. I prefer to think of it as Dolby.

Let us know. Yep. Is this going to be one of these things that go viral on the internet? Do you hear Dalby or Dolby? Which one do you hear? People getting in fights. Yeah. Fucking the morning show,

devoting a segment to it. It's classic. It's classic ass. That's how you decide whether it's Tommy or Carl. It's like, one, he's Dalby, one, he's Dolby.

Yeah, yeah. The original odd couple. Yeah, that's how you know which team you're on, definitively. Team Dalby or team Dolby. Dalby. Dalby.

Dolby. Dosolo. I don't know. The hangover's really kicked in for me, I have to say. Just in the last five minutes. I don't have a hangover. I've got, I'm just tired. Yeah. I'm just tired.

And my voice is a little bit shot from screaming over many of you Sydney-siders last night. Dropping bottles and fucking... Oh, man. There were some real people fucking wanting to ruin my show last night that I had to get over the top of. Some real... It was some real town hall action last night.

Yeah. Some people screaming at me about my decisions of what I decided was bad in my stand-up show. So I've never seen anything like it. But anyway. Thanks, Dalby. Thanks, Dalby. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Andrew Watson.

Oh, Watto. Yeah, yeah. Forget the days of Dalby where we had something to debate about. I think it's Watson. Oh, do you? Yes. Fuck, it's back. I think it's Orndrew.

It's elementary, dear Watson. It's Orndrew. Orndrew it's back. I think it's Orndrew. It's elementary, dear Watson. It's Orndrew. Orndrew. Do you know Orndy? Orndy. Orndy Watson. Yeah, it's elementary, my dear Watson, that you should give us money. And you've fucking done it again.

You've done it again. Well, yeah. I'm a real Sherlock Holmes where you're my off-sider slash you give me money. Yeah. I love it. Thanks, dude. Oh, is that it?

Is that it for Andrew Watson? Well, you know, it's a very vanilla name, isn't it? It is, yeah. We have, like, literally us just pronouncing Andrew wrong is really the most, that's more than anyone by rights should be able to get out of that. That's getting a dry face washer and really giving it a ring and trying to get something else out of it.

Yeah, yeah. You know what, guys? If name is andrew watson give us a middle name give us if you're gonna have a name as bland as that yeah give us something in there give yourself a middle name some sort of angle you know what this is encouragement for people to give us something content yeah in the future just have a think if you think your name is a little bit bland give us a little bit more in the middle. Andrew Fuckface Watson. Yeah, yeah, give us something like that. Give us a nickname. Give us a middle name. Yeah, something to work with.

Do our job for us. Exactly. Us looking at a blank canvas like Andrew Watson, it's like fucking hell. Jesus Christ. You think, Jesus, this is like looking at the Sistine Chapel and going, get this done in a day.

No, fuck, it's not going to happen. What if that's someone trying to prank us? We think the pranks are like people at the Sistine Chapel and going, get this done in a day. No, fuck, it's not going to happen. What if that's someone trying to prank us? Like, you know, we think the pranks are like people putting the fake names, but this is someone going, I'm going to give these guys absolutely nothing to work with. Fuck you guys. My name's John Smith. Good luck with that one, fuckhead.

All right, well, thanks, Andrew. Thanks, Watson. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Tyler O'Brien. Ooh, now this is more like it This is What does that? It's a weird mix of names I like the name Tyler I gotta say

Is that a boy That's a girl's name? It can be both Is it? Yep It's barely one name And now it's boys and girls name What?

Oh no Tyler I find it a little bit strange Why? Well You know Where do names come from again? People's occupation. Oh, I was a fucking Tyler. I put tiles on a roof.

That's your name now. Is that where it comes from? I don't know. You bring that up a lot, but there's so many names that just have no meaning. Like Carl. Oh, I was a car. Well, you know, this reminds me. I wonder if this guy's the heir to the windscreens o'brien

for yes that would be cool which is the most bizarre fucking company name in australia i think windscreens o'brien yeah it's like is that it's trying to make is it trying to make you think that that's a person that someone's you know oh yeah If your last name's O'Brien, don't call your kid Winscreen. Do you think that's a whole, like, from the days of, like, white pages where it's just, like, assuming that, you know, people are going to look under W for Winscreen? Well, do you think it's from, like, we talk about, like, you know, people have got their surnames, like, someone's name's Gary Butcher.

Oh, well, ten generations ago, they were a butcher, so they got that. This guy's just got it fucked up and gone, oh yeah, I used to think Winscreen. So my name's Winscreen's O'Brien. No, you're supposed to do the surname. You're not supposed to do the first name because your first name

doesn't carry on through the fucking generations. It does sound like a good fucked superhero. Like we were just talking about the Marvel thing. Winscreen's O'Brien. Yeah. It's not an exotic first name but it's an interesting first name. Like we were just talking about the Marvel thing. Winscreen's O'Brien. Yeah, yeah. It's not an exotic first name, but it's an interesting first name. Yeah, it's something. And then you stick sort of a boring last name.

Yeah. It's like calling yourself fucking Dildo Smith, you know? But at least the O and the apostrophe in there, that immediately makes things more interesting, I reckon. I mean, we're a million miles away from fucking Andrew Watson. I was about to say, man, his first name's Winscreen. What's more interesting, I reckon. I mean, we're a million miles away from fucking Andrew Watson. I was about to say, man, his first name's Windscreen. What's more interesting? And then I went, oh, that's not his name.

That's right. I got carried away. His name's Tyler. He's or her. I think Tyler's interesting. I think Tyler's an interesting name. Yeah, okay. Thanks, Tyler.

Well, good luck with the Windscreen fortune. I hope you're making a lot of dosh off people having accidents, putting their head through Winscreen, and having to buy new ones. You're rubbing your little hands together. I hope you're enjoying your fucking blood money there, your literal blood money. All right. Thanks, Tyler.

Thank you to Patreon subscriber. I feel like we're racing through this today because we're pretty rooted. It's almost like one of us wants to go to bed and the other one has to get to the airport. Yeah. It's almost like one of us has got a little ticket to get into the Qantas Lounge today and wants to just fucking lie down on a couch. Thank you. Two.

God, imagine being someone who's paid for Qantas Club membership and then seeing fucking you come in. Yeah. Yeah. God. Yeah. What is the point? Yeah. What is the point of paying to be in here if people like you are going to come in. Yeah. God. Yeah. What is the point? Yeah.

What is the point of paying to be in here if people like you are going to come in and make it feel like a fucking Jetstar? Yeah. Departure gate. I've got no argument with you. If someone tries to kick me out, I'll be like, fair enough. Have we talked on the show about how there was a photo of Fiona O'Loughlin, Dave Thornton and Dave O'Neill in a Qantas lounge and O'Neill's there with a bag of McDonald's?

Oh, yeah. Fuck, we – I wanted to bring that up last time Dave was on. I forgot. We had bigger fish to fry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We had a lot more Rick things to fry. Yeah, fuck, great. He smuggled in 100 jacks into the Qantas lounge.

He's such a fucking idiot. You fat idiot. Well, we can still talk about him – about that next time because, you know what? He'll do it again You know what Last episode Last episode You know we had a lot of feedback

Off the Dave O'Neill Yes Dave Hughes Yeah O'Neill and Hughes episode And the everything is Rick And the Do you know Hughes

All that sort of stuff We had a lot a lot a lot of feedback Off that Now In the Patreon read We had a lot of fun In that And there was another

You know a couple of bits in there That we thought were very very funny And we thought This will be great We'll get a lot of feedback in that and there was another you know a couple of bits in there that we thought were very very funny we thought this would be great we get a lot of feedback off that not so much every time i was talking to people and going oh that hughes and the rick thing everyone's like yeah fucking hell that was so funny i'm like what about in the patreon read and they're like well you didn't listen to that yeah right right go back and listen to last week's patreon readers well you don't need to do that because if they didn't listen to that one they're not listening to this point yeah good Oh, good point. Yeah, good point. Yeah.

So. Okay. That's like saying, hey, guys, if you haven't heard this bit right now, listen to this bit right now. It's a bit of an unnecessary ad. So, yeah. All right. Thank you to Patreon subscriber, Nikki Sandford.

Sandsford. Sandsford. Sandsford. Sandsford. Sandsford. Yeah. She's a great supporter of the show. Yep. Sandsford. Sandsford. Sandsford. Sandsford. Sandsford. Yep. She's a great supporter of the show.

Yep. I'm surprised she's only recently subscribed on Patreon, semi-recently. Mm-hmm. I know who Nikki is. She comes to a lot of live comedy. Oh, yep. Cool. She comes to my room. She comes to the Thursday Comedy Club on the Thursday night in Melbourne, if you're ever...

And look, no matter how many times we talk about this or put it on social media, I do run comedy rooms. Tommy, you don't anymore, but I run a couple of comedy rooms. And so a lot of people come from interstate and will hit me up and say, have you got anything on tonight or whatever? So just so you know, if you're coming from interstate, if you live in Melbourne, Thursday Comedy Club on a Thursday night. Monday, you've got Comedy at Spleen at Spleen Bar.

And Saturday, you've got the Basement Comedy Club At Spleen Bar And Saturday you've got the basement comedy club Heaps of friends of the show pop up We pop up All that sort of stuff And if any other nights of the week That you're in town I run Witches in Britches Oh yeah

So a lot of friends of the show there Dressing up as the Hunchback of Notre Dame And shit like that Great So come check that out Anything good in particular Is there any new shows That you've got lined up in the pipeline that are coming up very soon?

Yes, and it's called – Go on. There's a new one that we're working on called – I think I've got it for you. I think I remember what it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Read it off this sheet of paper that I'm holding up. Isn't there like a Marilyn Monroe-themed show you've got coming up called. I think I remember what it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Read it off this sheet of paper that I'm holding up. Isn't there like a Marilyn Monroe themed show you've got coming up

called The Seven Year Witch? Is that what it's called, The Seven Year Itch? Correct. Yeah, sure. It's not yes and, it's like yes, fine. Okay. Yes, okay. Plus.

Yes, that'll do. Yeah, okay. Plus. Yes, that'll do. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Nicky Zanford comes to regular comedy goers, so thank you very much. One of those people we appreciate comes to, obviously signed up to Patreon, comes to the live shows, comes to the stand-up, does it all. Does the right thing.

What doesn't she do? Good on her. Thanks, Nicky. No fun to be made fun of you unless you want to be made fun of, in which case, fuck you, Nicky. You fucking stupid bitch. Oh, God. All right.

Well, you can take either of those messages. No, no, that's the name of the upcoming show at the theatre restaurant. It's called You Stupid Bitch. So is that bitches in britches that you're writing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right, right. So that's a pun rather than an insult. Yeah, yeah. Right, okay. Wow. So that's a pun rather than an insult. Yeah, yeah.

Right, okay. Wow, we got out of that one. Phew. As that was, I think Larry Emder came up with an idea for you. No, he didn't. We shouldn't associate that with him. No, what a great man. Yeah, Larry Emder.

The best, the nicest dude. Man, a big, we haven't properly, you know, underlined that, but what a fucking champion to come and play along. And he was very nervous backstage. Yeah. And he was very nervous after the show when he heard all the content. Yep. So to be fair, I think he was made a lot more nervous by the fact,

I think he walked in as I was doing stand-up and it was just a fucking absolute circus. An absolute circus where the crowd was screaming at me, I was screaming at them, losing my voice. Larry Ender come in and people go, yeah, this is what you'll be doing soon. And he's like, Jesus Christ. I'm used to throwing to softball interviews

and fucking vacuum cleaner ads, not this. So thank you once again. One of my heroes, Larry Ender. Yeah, so good. So good. Thank you too, Pain Shed. I'm losing my voice. Yeah, so good. So good. Thank you to Patreon. I'm losing my voice. I don't know if I've got any more in me.

Yeah, I reckon you've got one more. Is that it? Well, I'll try. If I can't do it, I guess we just leave it now. But look, I'll struggle through it. I'll see. I'll see if I've got one more in me. Don't like my chances.

Thank you to Patreon subscriber. Oh, fuck. I'll try. I've got one more in me Don't like my chances Thank you to Patreon subscriber Oh fuck I'll try You can do it It's only two words And then you're done Alright Thank you to Patreon subscriber Kanye Comedy

Wow Has he not come up before? Has he? I feel like he's come up before? Has he? I feel like he's come up before. Has he? Yeah. Well, I'm sure he hasn't because I don't think we've ever had a double up. So I don't think that would have happened.

Well, I mean, it makes sense that he would subscribe again because he just had that new album drop over the weekend. Who did? Kanye Comedy. What? Kanye Comedy brought out an album over the weekend. Who did? Kanye Comedy. What? Kanye Comedy brought out an album over the weekend. Kanye Comedy? I've heard of Kanye West.

Yeah. More than two albums can come out in the one week. Oh, right. Yeah. Oh, right. I thought you may have got confused. So you've heard of this person before, Kanye Comedy? Kanye Comedy, yeah.

He's my favourite rapper. Oh, he's a rapper? Yeah, he's a rapper. Oh, so what album did he put out? It's called D. D? D-Y. D-Y.

It's like the end of the word comedy. Oh, right. Yeah. That's slang for comedy, isn't it? Wow, okay. And is there any particular songs or raps or anything in there that you enjoyed? Hang on. Let me just read through the track list here on Apple Music.

Okay. Give me one second. Yep. I Thought About Doing Comedy. Yep. Jokes. Right. That'll do.

Are these all parodies of very recent songs that a lot of people won't know the names of? Correct. Right. Great. Hey, you know what? You led me into this cave. I'm just trying to find my way out. Sure, sure, sure. This isn't a choice that I made. Right. Great. Hey, you know what? You led me into this cave. I'm just trying to find my way out. Sure, sure, sure. This isn't

a choice that I made, okay? I had this forced upon me. Hey, this is again, this is unplanned. I thought I knew what was coming and you really, of all the days to pick a curveball. That's very fair. Like, fuck, man.

The one thing I could actually prepare for, the fucking amount of mental energy I devoted on the way over here to being prepared for this outcome. All right, fuck it. Let's cancel this. All right, let's do number five here. It's Mr Comedy. All right, the end.

And we're out. Great. All right, guys. Thanks to everyone who supports the show on Patreon. Very much appreciated. LittleDumbDumbClub.com for links to all our merch and upcoming stuff that we have. Thank you once again to everyone who came out to the live show in Sydney.

What a great night. So much fun. Lovely to meet you guys that were there and hung around. And if you brought merch and all that sort of stuff, thank you very much. Yes, we'll be back next week with a studio episode before we kick off the run of episodes from the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival.

And we have already recorded that next one, and it was a lot of fun. And it's got a new person we haven't had on the show who is very funny. Absolutely. All right, guys, thanks very much for listening, and we'll see you next time. See you, mates.

This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. It's not optional. You have to do it. We used to go easy on it, but now you have to. Yeah. Yeah.