The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 408 - Josh Earl & Sonia Di Iorio

Episode Date: August 1, 2018

This week we've got the return of JOSH EARL and the debut of SONIA DI IORIO! We give a no-holds barred account of getting told off at a fancy restaurant. There's no room for critical discussion here, folks. You HAVE to be on our side with this one. Sonia recounts one of the most brazen pick up attempts that she's ever been a part of and a phone call to Karl leads to a long overdue return to the Maryborough list!Don't forget, we have a bunch of huge live shows coming up:MELBOURNE: We're doing our 2018 stand-up shows back-to-back for one night only! AUGUST 3.BRISBANE: We're heading back to do our 2018 stand-up shows back-to-back PLUS a huge live podcast! OCTOBER 21.MELBOURNE: We're doing a huge live episode PLUS a roast! OCTOBER 27.For tickets, merchandise, links to our Patreon and heaps of other stuff, head to our website: littledumdumclub.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Today on The Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with guests Josh Earle and first-timer Sonia D'Orio. But before we get into that, we've got to plug a few things that we've got coming up this Friday. If you're listening to this hot off the presses, Friday, August the 3rd in Melbourne, we are doing a double feature of our stand-up shows from the start of the year. Tommy Dasolo in Leisure Suit Tommy

and Carl Chandler's Shit List at the European Beer Cafe. That is going to be heaps of fun if you are in Melbourne and want to come check that out. But hot off the presses announcement, Brisbane, we've done it again. You guys sell out the shows so quickly every time we put them on that we've decided that we've got to start coming back two times a year. Carl, what have we got for them?

Oh, man. We are doing the aforementioned stand-up comedy shows that we do, our one-hour specials, and we've got a live pod as well. And we're moving venues. We keep going back. We keep having to move venues. I mean, mainly because we are growing in audience sizes, but also because, well, for example,

the last place fucking got demolished or something. Yeah. If it hadn't already been condemned before we got there, it damn well would have been by the time we were done with it. So we are in a proper fancy venue in Brisbane, not a dilapidated porno theatre or whatever we were fucking in last time. No, this time we're in an old World War II hangar. Are we?

Is that what it is? It's a converted hangar, yeah, I believe. It's called the Triffid. Cool venue. Lots of people in Brisbane have pointed out to us that it's a good spot. It's like the super coolest place we could go to in Brisbane. Is that fair? Yeah, I think so.

Yeah, it looks super fancy. Big venue. Lots of tickets to sell. But if anyone can do it, it's you guys. So that's Sunday, October the 21st, 1pm. It's going to be a big afternoon of stand-up shows plus huge live podcast. It's plenty of bang for your buck. Some of your favourite guests, I believe, are confirmed already.

We've got a great line-up already. The two of us doing stand-up? We're hosts. We're not guests. How's this not got through your head in 400-plus episodes? Sometimes I feel like a bit of a passenger on this thing, I've got to say. So then, following that, the very next weekend in Melbourne, October the 27th at the Comics Lounge,

huge live Little Dumb Dumb Club podcast plus a roast, all in the one-ticket prize. It's going to be a big old Saturday night, big room to fill, our yearly massive show that we do in Melbourne. That is going to be heaps of fun, special guests, all that kind of good stuff. And that will be basically our last live show in Melbourne until probably like next year, well into next year probably.

So this is your big chance to come and see us. Unless a friend of the show wins another prestigious award and we have to quickly put something on in honour of them. Totally. Unless someone wins a Walkley or someone gets a best club man trophy at their footy club or something like that. If Hughesy scoops up at the Black

Entertainment Awards and we have to put something on. So yeah, all that stuff is happening. Littleledumbdumbclub.com. Enjoy this episode. Lots of fun. We'll see you at the back end of the episode for a bit of Talking Dumb Dumb. Hey, mates.

Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Daslow and with me as always, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day, dickhead. We got in a bit of trouble last night, didn't we? We did. We got in trouble in a place that I didn't think you could get in trouble at. Right. I think it's the sort of place where you're more likely to get in trouble. Oh, well, that's quite a well-to-do establishment.

That's what makes us the original odd couple. Do we want, do we, should we get our guests in on this? I think we need to get in trouble because it's quite a well-to-do establishment. That's what makes us the original odd couple. Do we get our guests in on this? I think we need to get our guests in. Because we need to debrief this because we didn't really talk about it too much at the time. Joining us on the show from Don't You Know Who I Am, it's Josh Earle. Hey, chaps. Yeah. Nice.

Nice little alteration. Thanks. And first time on the show, Sonia Di Iorio. Yay! Sonia Di Iorio. Di Iorio. Di Iorio. Yeah.

Right. Sorry, but Sonia, are you pronouncing that correctly? Probably not. It's so nice to be on a podcast with two Italians. Two ethnics, yes. We met in the mother country, of course. Yeah. Very multicultural podcast.

Yeah, It is. It really is. Who's more Italian out of you two, do you think? Out of someone who's Italian and someone who's absolutely not. Someone who's actually Italian. Probably Tommy. Yeah. I probably eat more Italian food than you do.

Yeah. To be fair. He's from the Pizza Hut dynasty in Italy. Yeah. Yeah. So we went to dinner last night. Should we name the restaurant? I think it helps.

If you know it, it's going to paint the story in a certain light. So I do think – there's nothing wrong with naming it. Okay. Do you know a restaurant called Rockpool? Yes. Yes. Now, Rockpool is – Very fancy.

Yes. Got a very well – what would you say? It's very, very reputable. Very high end, I guess. Expensive. Yes. Yes. So you guys are doing very well?

Well, we have a podcast. Yes. Is it degustation or is it just a la carte? No, it's just some big ass steaks, my man. And too many sides for one table. Yeah. It's Neil Perry. Yep.

That's it. That's the chef. That's the chef. Well, he didn't cook our steak last night. He could have. Maybe he just pops in. I recently met a chef from... Yes, yes.

Might have been him. Really? What was his name? I don't know, mate. Did he have a big long ponytail? I can tell you about that later. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

All right, all right. That's good. I'll look forward to that. So we regularly go to this place with a friend of the show, Milan, Milan Krenjevic. He will not go to any other restaurant apart from this restaurant. He refuses to. Not even Pizza Hut? No, not even.

Fuck. When Tommy brings him home there, he refuses to go. No, he gets really mad. I don't know why. He gets crazy, doesn't he? He just, just any other restaurant apart from that one. Like he should be some sort of, he should have some sort of deal. It's almost like he was vaccinated as a child.

He was or wasn't? Highly vaccinated. I reckon he went in a couple of times. Shots, shots, shots. Oh, right, right. Oh, that paid off. So, we go there with him. He's happy. We get there and he's very happy.

Now, the bad thing is about us getting together is that Milan likes to have a few drinks. I don't know if you know this. But we went there. It was just Tommy and him and I. And we went there and we drank quite a bit. Now, when we get together, I think it's probably bad.

It's probably a toxic relationship. Yeah. It's a bad environment. Yes. But why stop doing it? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Well, he's going to knock back an invitation to go to Rockpool.

It's fun for us. It's like we're in the eye of the hurricane. We're like, this is good stuff. Yeah, it's very – I feel so sad for the people next to you guys on a romantic dinner. Here we go. It's a shame that we can't paint more of a vivid picture by repeating any of the stuff that we're saying on the air.

I know. But rest assured, it's good stuff. If you think this is good, you should hear us off. There's sperm everywhere. If you've ever listened to us at a live show towards the end of the show and we're just getting a bit out of control and stuff like that, it's that time's about six, I reckon.

That's a quarter of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we're in there being disgusting human beings. I don't even know what we're talking about. A lot of song parodies. Yeah. Put it that way. Think of the worst thing you can think of and we were probably saying worse than that.

Yeah. And this is like about 8.30, 8 o'clock at night. And we're drunk and we're doing this. And we're having the time of our lives going, oh, we're the champs. Look at this. Just laughing our head off. You and Milan are talking about something reprehensible. I got bored of the conversation.

So I'm just doing a song parody of the national anthem. Just over the top of you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Getting nothing from you, but just kind of in my own world, just happy to be hearing sound coming out of my own head. And we forget that we're in this – we've been so many times to Rockpool with Milan that we sort of think, oh, this is just like our bedroom or something. You can just do whatever you want.

Yeah, we thought the oxygen floating around us was some kind of soundproof chamber. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we very quickly found that out to not be the case because as we're just full flight into yet another X, triple X rated riff of ours. Oh, brother, it was epic. We're having the time of our lives. And this guy walks over the table and I honestly, my first thought is he comes in, leans in

really close and I thought, here we go, listener of the show. Honestly, honestly, he came in so forward. I was like, this guy's going to come over and want a photo, maybe ask what we're talking about. Instead, he comes in and it takes ages for me to register because he's on the other side of the table. There's Milan, Tommy and me. He zeroes in on Tommy.

Yeah, he's leaning on the arm of my seat and he's right in my face. And just, I don't even know what he was saying to you, but he got violent. He came over and basically the message was he was out to dinner with his wife or his partner and they're not very far away from us. They're the next table. Yeah. And the next table is not that far away.

And the bile being spewed by us was not great. And she was, we didn't realise this, but she was very upset by whatever we were saying or whatever. You know, it's that classic thing if you go out to dinner and someone's annoying next to you, whatever. But instead of coming over and going, hey, maybe knock it off, he comes over and was like, he is going to swing a punch. Yeah, he wanted to fight.

He went in so, like so hard. And are you still singing the anthem at this stage? Is that what it was? Well, to be honest, just like someone appeared in my peripheral vision, I just thought it was like a waiter or something. So I'm there at a nice place. I'm like, I'm about to brush him away. I'm like, we're not ready yet, mate.

We're not ready to order starters yet. Now, from the top. I like how you thought it was like one of your fans. Do you really think your fans eat at Rockpool? Hey, we're fans of this and we eat there. I've been surprised by a lot of people at different places. You know, we were talking the other week. There was a fan of ours in Koh Samui in Thailand that said hello to me

despite the fact he was there at the same time as the festival and didn't bother going. So nothing surprises me anymore. That would have been great if that guy had lent in and gone, listen, you little cunts, you keep it down or I'm going to come back here and kick the fucking shit out of both of you. Love the pod. Yeah, and then lean over to Milan.

So, you want to have a shot? Can I get my name up the queue in the Patreon, please? So then we go, oh, no, and this guy just follows through. We go, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, mate. So I go, because I'm like, so he goes so, it was very aggressive. He's got eyes for you. Yeah.

You were the hate magnet for whatever reason. Well, he picked the smallest one in the pack. He was a big kind of meathead guy. It was real alpha. And it's all the body language where he's leaning and he's like, listen, this is not good behaviour. This is awful language. You've got to like really go.

And I'm like, man, really, all you've got to do is ask. Sorry. But he just keeps going on. He wanted a fight. He wanted a bit of ballroom blitz to break out. He wanted a fight in Rockpool at 8.30 at night on a Tuesday night. How long have you guys been in there up until this point? Like half an hour. Not that

long at all. So it's not like it's been built up the whole night and he's... No, no, no. Look, to be fair, it was obviously some special night or they're out and whatever and it's, you know, it's expensive restaurants. Oh yeah, I'm just on his side. Look, I'm on his side as well, but the other side, look, it is a fancy restaurant but the other side of the coin is, dude, you're in

a casino. Yeah. Like, you can't get too up on your high horse about the fucking sanctity of the vibe when it's like, this place has hidden rooms for people who kill themselves on the floor. Let's not get too precious. Next door there's someone taking a shit under the roulette table. Wait, you'd been in there half an hour?

Yeah. Well, there's no windows or clocks, so we had no idea how long we'd been staying up for. You were really fucked up? Had you been drinking somewhere else? Okay, so this is the other thing. So I fell off the damn wagon last night. I've been trying to kind of like quit drinking for an extended period of time.

How long? I've been... It's been three and a half weeks. So Milan has been... Milan's going away for two months and he kind of like convened this dinner to hang out. And I tried to float in the group chat earlier in the day. I'm like, I'm a bit sick as well. I'm not going to drink tonight.

And it just was relentless all day in the chat. And I went, I'm going to get the fucking daylights bullied out of me at this dinner if I don't just succumb and have a few beers. So I'm off the goddamn wagon. And then I'm getting abused for being too crass. Within half an hour, I'm like, oh, God, it's all coming back to me. Like, oh, no, I need to go sober again. Call my sponsor.

But it was weird, wasn weird wasn't so then he goes as hard as he can and then you and milan are very apologetic and he's still going and you keep apologizing and i'm just sort of sitting there not saying anything because i couldn't really hear what he was saying and i'm like fuck i i i don't know i don't know what my attitude would be if i'd heard it you're ready to go you can like hear the choppers in the background you're itching to fucking get in there. I'd like to have seen what would happen anyway. You were talking a big game later on of like

you know if I'd have had more of an idea what was going on I would have fucking said something to that guy. Like very easy position to take. But also probably would have happened. Not that I was. I'm sure look I would say it would have been talking a big story more like this. I would have said this.

Then I would have got punched in the face and that would have been it. But I would have said something. So what's the staff doing at this point? Are they aware that this is happening? So this is the next side of it because then the waiters come over to us and because Milan is there so often and because he spends so much money there, the waiters are all very pro-Milan and his friends. So we're very sheepish

for about two minutes or so and then it seeps in just how needlessly aggressive this guy was. Then the waiters come over and we're just openly lambasting these people to the waiters. They're still at the same volume again. They're just there. They're about as far away as me and Carl are right now at this table.

For the listener at home, there you go. Nice visual clue for you. I think we started in that the waiter comes over and we're going, oh, we're really sorry about that. And then we start thinking, hang on a minute. Hey, I think he wanted to punch us. Actually, fuck this guy. Can you go kick these cunts out? Yeah.

And then we're making a big song and dance about like anytime someone – anytime one of us is laughing, it's like, guys, can you keep it down? No fun here, thanks. And so then after what? About half an hour, blow me down, what happens? A real victory for the underdog in this story. They move tables. Fuck yeah. That's what you've got to do.

You've just got to double down. How far away did they move? Like literally the complete other side of the restaurant. As far away as they could get. I think they went to a the restaurant. Yeah. As far away as they could get. Which I was like. I think they went to a different place. Yeah. Yeah.

Which is a bit like, okay, they got, you know, they've obviously put in a complaint and got moved and whatever, but it's like, but they sort of threatened us with violence. Yeah. Like, I don't know if this is a good moral to the story. I was really hoping that he was going to come back and have a crack on the way out. Yeah. But he seemed like the sort of guy. You know what annoyed me is that Milan was very, very,

very apologetic to the female partner and she didn't give it any of, oh, that's fine. She didn't seem embarrassed that he had fired up to an extent. She was there 100%. Exactly. Yeah. Now, what do you think, Sonia? If you're on a date and-

What exactly were you guys yelling at? Can you believe this guy was upset that we were yelling cunt 45 times across the restaurant? We did tone it down at one point. We did say that at one point. I mean, look, it's kind of a hard one to tell on the podcast because we absolutely cannot broadcast the things that we were saying. But it does give a great deal of context.

I think the content yeah it would depend on the content but also it's that thing of like you know when you're totally fucked up you're totally wasted and you think you're saying hello sir i'm here sitting at a restaurant but you're really saying fuck you fuck everyone in rockpool i'm gonna kill you assholes you have no idea about how sound travels. I swear to God, I think I'm going deaf because I have no idea how loud I am at any given time. And you think you're being polite and – I don't think we thought we were doing that.

Right. Yeah, yeah. Look, we would definitely be found guilty of a lot of different things if someone had a transcript of what we were saying. But I still think, no matter what you say, to come in and threaten violence, I don't know. Yeah, and also it's funny. They should have been paying us. They got dinner and a show. Well, that's very much, very much in my head,

it was the difference between us doing a live podcast and us doing an unprompted podcast on someone who didn't want it. Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. If we had a charge for that last night, we would have been just chaired out of the room on people's shoulders. But because we didn't charge for it, because we put on a free one, fuck, we nearly got decked.

Was it like the anniversary or something? Like a special occasion? Yeah, it did reek of like maybe they – you know, you have kids or whatever and it's like hard to get out. It did reek of like, hey, look, this is our one time out, which kind of makes it – like I love the idea of the guy, like the guy he's like shaving in the mirror before they head out and he's like, God, the one time we've been able to afford

to get a babysitter, can't wait to head out on the town and just try as hard as I can to get into a punch on. I'm looking at reviews for Rockpool, hoping that one's been put up in the last 24 hours, but nothing's below four. You put out your phone for five minutes, I'm like, what, is this us nearly dying at Rockpool, hoping that one's been put up in the last 24 hours. But nothing's below four. You've been on your phone for five minutes. I'm like, what, is this us nearly dying at Rockpool not entertaining enough for you?

What if he was, like, trying to propose? Oh. Every time I've got something to say to you, what are you cunts doing over there? God, I wish we could repeat what we were doing because I stand by it. It was good stuff. I reckon if you repeated it, I would probably could repeat what we were doing because I stand by it. It was good stuff. I reckon if you repeated it, I would probably not be on your side.

No, not at all. No, you're right. Now that you've brought that up, absolutely. I think we've made a good decision by not giving the transcript of what we're saying. Make that a special Patreon bonus episode. Yeah, I was about to say. We put a recorder the next time we have dinner and we just let rip.

I did have that tiny little moment of clarity where, you know, tells you to shut up you're like fuck you why do i have to shut up and then i sat there for a second and then thought and then so we started talking normally and then i made that quick contrast of what we had been doing oh right okay yep i get it this is normal talking now and what that was was the devil's work that was fucking horrible just going back to like feeling like you're at school as well, like being chastised in that way for being loud and rude is just like, God, are we 12? It's so embarrassing. You're at a point in your life where you can afford to be at Rockpool

but you just have absolutely no social grace whatsoever. But you shouldn't be. I was at the Werribee Zoo the other day where another mother called me an arsehole in front of her kids and my kids because I didn't see her kid near my foot. What did you say, another mother? Are you a mother? No, but another parent.

You said you didn't see the kid near your foot. Is this about to be a story about you kicking the shit out of a kid? I almost kicked a kid by lifting up my child to see through these binoculars. I didn't see this kid. So I lifted him up and like either my foot or Henry's foot almost kicked this kid. And the mum just picked up her kid. And he's like, what's going on? She goes, oh, some people are just assholes who don't even look down.

Wow. I'm like, whoa. Is that a strange thing when you're around other parents? Because every parent's approach to swearing is different. Some are just like, hey, let's just swear in front of the kid. Who cares? Yeah, we don't swear in front of my kids because I'm a good parent. But this lady, what a fucking arsehole.

Hang on, your kid listens to this show. Yeah, big fan. They're big fans. Anyway, that guy is definitely dead now too, I reckon. I reckon he's got the adrenaline going. He was out on the casino floor just fucking looking to get into it. What do you think, Sonia? You're in that situation.

You've been taken out on a date. You're at Rockpool. You've got your main squeeze by your side. It's your big date night. You fucking big fucking meathead idiot. I'm that caveman. What the fuck's wrong with you going out with a person like that? I'm finding it hard to picture myself on a date personally.

Also with someone who can afford rock pool. Hey, you know a lot of open mic comedians. I'm sure there'd be someone there. Well, no, I did meet, I mentioned before I met someone who works at Rockpool, a chef, a couple of weeks ago. And this guy, so we met, it was pretty late. It was probably 5am or something like that. You met someone at 5am? Yeah. Well, it was pretty late. It was probably 5 a.m. You met someone at 5 a.m.?

Yeah. Well, he's a keeper. We're at Lock and Key, which I think is pretty popular for hospo people to go to because it's open real late. Anyway, we started chatting for ages. French guy here. Oh, ooh la la. Ooh la la indeed.

Chef at Rockpool. Yeah, nice. We were chatting. He actually told me that he lived like just in the apartment across the road. So I'm like, cool. Very subtle. Anyway, we made out for a bit and I was like, Suck that blood.

Hang on, what? Suck what? I was like, one step at a time, mate. But I'm like, do you want to get out of here? And he's like, yeah. We go downstairs. We make out a bit more. Hell yeah.

He starts walking towards the toilets and he's like gives me a look and I'm like, does this guy think I'm going to fuck him in the toilet? When he's across the street? Hell yeah. And I'm like, what are you doing? Like I thought you said you lived across the road. Yeah. He's like, oh, yeah, I don't want to go home because it's

like my mate's birthday and we're all out with him and blah, blah, blah. Like I don't want to like just go home and like fall asleep or whatever. What? Like I was pretty drunk, pretty drunk etc at this stage so i'm like whatever and we kept making out and then on drugs but um and then i thought about it i'm like i don't i don't get what you're saying like why can't we go to your place yeah it was fucking 6 a.m yeah like the night's over and he's like uh yeah uh we can't go to my house. My girlfriend's there. And I just thought, oh, everything really does sound sexy in French.

Oh, man. It was 6 a.m., man. Wow. The French are so polite. Like you didn't want to wake her up or anything. He is a keeper. Ballsy cheating on your girlfriend in the pub are so polite. Like you didn't want to wake her up or anything? He is a keeper. Ballsy cheating on your girlfriend in the pub across the road. God, if she happens to go and, I don't know, look out the window.

If the toilet gets plugged up and she walks across the road to use the dunny over there. Oh, you are so much better than my girlfriend. It was so late so I just gave him my number and I left. I did. I was so drunk. Yes. And then my friend messaged me because she was still at the bar

and he'd gone back to hang out with his friends and stuff. Oh, fucking hell. And she's like, are you all right? Like is everything okay? I'm like, yeah, like I was going to go home with that French guy but he told me that he had a girlfriend. So I'm just on my way home. She's like, what the fuck?

That guy's an asshole, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, I am so not phased. I really don't care. Like, usually I find out guys have girlfriends after I've already slept with them. Like, so who cares? This is the perfect crime. A victimless crime. But she did say, she's like, oh, me and the dealers fucking hate him.

What do you think is a ticket? Like, so even the dealers were looking down on this. The dealers? At the casino. Oh, right, right, right. Right. Right. You have to come to my restaurant.

The drug dealers. Oh, the drug dealers. Oh, I thought I was. Yeah. No, no, no, no. Yeah. Even the dealers looked down. The cocaine dealers were like, this guy I thought I was. Yeah, no, no, no, no. Even the dealers looked at him.

The cocaine dealers were like, this guy, his ethics are just fucked. Chef that likes cocaine, never heard of such a thing. Anyway, so that's who's behind your bloody meal, by the way. Also, it wouldn't be hard to track him down. Like you've said where he works and the pub he lives across the road from. And his nationality. Yeah. So what you're saying is maybe as we ordered steak,

he was running out across the road to make a burger for McDonald's or something? Yeah. Possibly. Wait, am I McDonald's in that scene? Hey, a lot of people love McDonald's. Okay. Yeah.

Makes me feel good to know that there's a chance that our steaks last night were being cooked up by some fucking absolute French root rat. Yeah. Feels good, man. Well, I got a phone call a week or two ago now that I thought I'd – I've been saving up for a couple of weeks. I thought I'd tell you guys. What?

Fuck, I get nervous every time I do this podcast. Going, what is this going to be about? Gotcha journalism. Yeah, you're fucked, Josh. That's the point of the story. I haven't seen you guys since we were in Thailand, so that's good. You were not in Thailand, Josh. I was.

I got all the photos. In spirit. Yeah. Now, I got a random call. Like, I cop random calls all the time. When I get them with a number I don't recognise, I always answer because it could be about anything. But the way this guy answered was super familiar and I was like,

here we go, he's a podcast listener. I know today I feel like every time I have anything to do with anyone, I presume, oh, you listen to my podcast. Yeah, you're going insane. You're fucking losing it. So this guy calls up and it was a real lesson in being positive, in being really sort of gung-ho with stuff because you know when people talk to you and you just get swept up in what they're

saying you go okay this you know everything so this guy just gets on the phone and goes ah carl i haven't seen you for ages yeah it's been great you know whatever i gotta catch up with you gotta catch up and i'm like oh yeah okay and he's like yeah yeah so um good to talk to you i've got to get you back. Let's get back. Let's do this thing. We're having the big reunion. We want to get you back in there. Come to this reunion.

You're good for it. And I'm like, oh, look, I'm going to have to ask what is it. And he's like, oh, you know, and he says his name. And I won't say his name because I give out too many details, I think, in this story. And I shouldn't be really naming this guy. So I'll say his name. We've already doxxed a fucking chef from Rockport in this episode.

To be fair I can't remember his name. So I'll say his name's Wobbsy just because I can't remember his. I do know his name I just don't think I should give it out. He goes oh it's Wobbsy you know come to the reunion and whatever and I'm like yeah yeah yeah and I'm thinking

and he's going so forward so quickly that I'm thinking, have I missed something in the conversation already? And you know the thing, almost like when you're asleep and you wake up in the middle of the night to a phone call and you're out of it. And so you're trying to pretend what a human being would do in this situation but you're like, oh, yeah, great, yeah, great. So I'm doing that.

I'm going, oh, look, I'm sorry, I'm going to have to ask, what was the reunion for again? And he goes, oh, you know, for the cricket club for um uh donali cricket club you know come back and we're gonna do the big reunion you used to play there and you know it's gonna be great get you in with all the boys and i'm thinking i i don't think i ever played for them i never played cricket for that cricket club and he's just going so hard that but he's making me doubt myself i'm like going scrambling i'm trying to keep up with his conversation whilst going did i ever play for them i'm pretty no i've been on the ground i've played against them but i i don't think and he's like no no no this is such a fucking passionate phone call like yeah yeah no i just swept up by

what this guy's saying totally it really was you're under a trance it was it really was i was getting sucked into it and i'm going and it made me doubt myself. I'm like starting to think What? I'm starting to think how do I not remember playing for this cricket club? How come I don't remember this? What's wrong with me? He's gaslighted you into it. Totally. Did he say hi Carl

when he got on the phone? Yes. So he knew it was me but just went so feet first into this whole story about me playing for Denali Cricket Club and I'm like, okay, look, I just got to – and I'm just stalling him while I'm trying to retrieve items from my memory going, fuck, did I play once? Maybe I played once.

Maybe that's why I don't remember once. You wouldn't remember one time playing cricket at Denali Cricket Club. Why are you keeping up this facade? Why are you not just going, I'm sorry but I don't know what you're talking about? Because you're thinking. You know that thing where you don't want to look stupid just in case they go, yeah, this time when you played and you go, oh, fuck, of course.

I don't want to say, I definitely didn't play for you, you fucking idiot, because I'm thinking, why did he ring me up otherwise? Well, you don't have to say it that aggressively. There's a middle ground where you can just go, I don't remember this, sorry. Is Denali near Maribor? It's like probably 20 minutes out Because I've never heard of it Yeah it's 20 minutes away

So this does add up I know of Denali Cricket Club It doesn't mean I played for them But it's 20 minutes out so I'm thinking I'm trying to get a wording Someone's confident all of a sudden This is a phone call that's gone for about 3 minutes 4 minutes. So I'm trying to get a word in because he's going to say. Someone's confident all of a sudden. Yeah. No, but it's been, this is a phone call that's gone for about three minutes, four minutes now, and I'm starting to get the courage to go,

I'm pretty sure I never played for this cricket club. This delayed courage is a theme in this pod. What? Yeah. But I'm trying, as I'm talking, I'm trying to do two things at once. I'm trying to keep up the conversation whilst going through all the memories and trying to figure out if there's anything there. Through all my memories.

It's like memento style. You're taking your shirt off and you've just got your cricket details on your chest. Do not trust his buys. So I say to him, look, I'm sorry to butt in. I'm sorry about this. I'm sorry to butt in. But look, I'm not sure I ever played for your

cricket club. I actually don't think I played for your cricket club. And he's like, no, no, no, you did. He goes, Carl Chandler? Yeah, you played for Denali Cricket Club. And I'm like, oh man, I don't think I did. I really don't think I did. He's like, yeah, yeah, you would have.

Love this. Not would have. Everyone plays for them. Fuck, this guy rules. But it comes from like, oh, you did to no, you would have. I'm like, what? Love this. Not would have. Everyone plays for them. Fuck, this guy rules. But it comes from like, oh, you did to no, you would have. Like, you seem like the type. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, oh, no, you would have filled in for B grade or something like that, you know, maybe A reserve. I'm like, oh, nice little promotion there.

But he's like, no, no, you did. And I go, oh, man, I really don't think I did. I really don't think I did. And he's like, oh, I don't know, man. I'll go through the records, you know. I'll be happy to prove you're right. Which he should have done before he called you. Yeah.

Where did he get the phone number if not from the record? Oh, I wonder where, Tommy. I wonder where. But no, exactly. Because I'm starting to think, well, how has he got my number? Because this guy, like I vaguely know of this guy, but I've never met him before. He's got my number from who? An ex-teammate fuck what's what's who's his ex-teammate yeah i never play with

him and so i'm trying to get out of the phone call going oh look you know i'm trying i'm just going look i i'm pretty sure i'm not i'm not i didn't play i didn't play he's like oh so you don't want to go to the reunion i'm like no i i'd be a better chance of going to a union. But I love that he's like now accepting that you didn't play, but you've still got an invite to the reunion. You can still go if you want. Because he honestly, he acted like he thought, you're wrong, you're going to come to your senses and then you'll be kicking yourself because you missed out on the reunion.

It was a fun party happening. Yeah, yeah. He's like, the reunion's not for a while anyway. I'm like, well, it doesn't matter when it is. No, you can get a few games in, mate. Stop talking about on the reunion. It was a fun party happening. Yeah, yeah. He's like, the reunion's not for a while anyway. I'm like, well, it doesn't matter when it is. No, you can get a few games in, mate. Stop talking about the fucking reunion. It's like numbers must be low with this reunion. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just cold calling people out of the phone book. Yeah, so I'm like, oh, I'm sorry, man. I'm going to have to go. This is sort of, you know, whatever. Look, I'll get back to you if I remember, if I played for you or something like that. But I'm going to say I'm pretty sure at this point

that I never played for Denali Cricket Club okay and he's like alright okay well anyway I'll talk to you later

I've got more calls to make good luck with those ones he's been defeated he can talk to you later too he's going to call you back yeah so he's very sure of himself but anyway

I was like okay I've got to get off this call so I get off the call he's like he'll come around I get off the call i've already had a few missed calls so and they're all from my mum so i call my mum back and i call mum and she goes did you just get called by wabsy cricket club i'm like yes what's going on she goes yeah what's going on there she said he was ringing me and he rang me and then he said oh how's carl going and and

you know how's he been and you know all this sort of stuff and and this is mum saying you know and i'm like what what do you care like you don't know him like oh you know because i used to be denali cricket club coach and and mum goes and i said well he never played for denali cricket club and he goes yes he did he played and then mum's like oh okay and okay. And she got convinced as well. Wow. So then she's like, oh, maybe he did play for Denali Cricket Club. Is this a cult? What the fuck is going on? He's the most charismatic coach of all time.

It must have been a successful cricket club, that team, because I've been talked into and my mum's been talked into memories of me playing for a cricket club I'd never played for. This is wild, wild country cricket. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wild, wild country cricket. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wild, wild country Vic. Wild, wild county is what I should have said. Right, right.

So then anyway, she goes, yeah, yeah, you rang up. It was so weird. It's like I'm saying you didn't play and he's saying you did and she's like, yeah, it's really weird. Anyway, I gave him your number. I'm like, yeah, well, I knew someone would. Why did you give him your number? And she was like, I don't know.

He was very convincing. He was very, very on it that you definitely played. And I thought, well, did you give him your number? And she was like, I don't know. He was very convincing. You know, he's very, very on it that you definitely played. And I thought, well, maybe you went and played once or twice. I'm like, that's what I thought. This cricket club, they've never played a game. There's never been a team. This reunion is just going to be full of people who've never played a game of cricket in their lives but just aren't as strong-willed as you and just got bullied.

And that's a great image. You're all standing around pretending like, how's the wife and kids? These people that have never met each other in their lives. What about the grand final in 96? What did you think of it? Were you happy or sad after it? It would be great if you photoshopped all these pictures

of people playing cricket like that. That's the next step. Gets trophies made up. Yeah. Backdated. So then mum's like, yeah, it was pretty weird, wasn't it? And he asked you to go to the reunion. You're not going to the reunion, are you? And I said, no.

Well, I never played for them, so I'm not going to the reunion. And mum says, oh, it's really weird as well. Like, why would you ring up that far in advance about the reunion? I'm like, what do you mean? He never set a date for me. And she goes, oh, he said to me, you know, I want Carl to go to the reunion. And I said, when's the reunion?

And he said, oh, I don't know, not for three or four years. So he's – how many – which makes me think, okay, it makes a little bit more sense now that he's given himself three or four years to maybe just go through the phone book of everyone. Yes, yes. So he might be ringing 20 people a night trying to – maybe the Denali Cricket Club clubhouse got burnt down and there's absolutely no record. So he's got not one person he knows ever played for them.

Right. So he's just going through yearbooks now or phone books. Yeah, the next call is to Carl Chondler. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just working his way down. Yeah, exactly. Fucking hell, that is so great. Wobbsy.

So then I go – after that, I get off the phone from mum and go, fuck, that's so funny. Three or four years and he's chasing people already for this party. Because what's he saying? Like just going, oh, just get ready for, are you available for a party in the future? Yeah, these dry cleaners, you know, they take a long time to get back to you.

Get the suit down there now. Yeah. So I then ring a friend of mine, my friend Jimmy, who did actually play for that cricket club. Here we go. Maybe vaguely. Here we go. Maybe he thought I was him or something,

which also doesn't make sense because I didn't know this guy. I didn't know this cricket club guy. So I ring up my mate Jimmy and tell him the story and he's laughing at it, just going, fuck. He goes, oh, you know what the worst thing is? I go, what? He goes, I haven't had an invite to the reunion. I played for like five years.

You got an invite before me. Goddamn. And he goes, that's so funny because you know about, remember the story about him, about Wobbsy. And I'm like, oh, vaguely. He goes, yeah, remember? Remember what Wobbsy did, what he was known for doing? I was like, oh, that's right.

So the story of this guy, because I was like, I know this guy. Why do I know him? Why do I know his name? And I remember the story now. He played cricket with him. Yeah, he was the one telling me to feel it, silly me off. No, there was a story going around him. And one of those great urban legends or whatever, whether it was true or not,

I don't know, but it's a good story to know which was that he this cricket coach uh someone uh late one night someone went back to his house when he was there and went inside on a one is nine or whatever and they opened the door and it's just him in in the living room by himself masturbating over a heater. Which then brought the nickname that he continued to have until now, heater beater. Which someone once burnt into the pitch at Denali Cricket Club. Heater beater.

Oh, my God. And you're telling me this guy isn't good at organising a reunion? Is this what the reunion is? Is this his revenge? Every single person who ever call me fucking heater beater, I'm going to get in a room and fucking gas them. Yeah, well, he wants to recreate it. So it's like you turn up to the hall where the reunion is, he's just there, pants around his ankles in front of a fucking gas heater.

Which made me think in hindsight, you know, this is only two weeks ago. It's the middle of winter. This call is about 9.30 at night. What was he doing as he was asking me? As he was asking me to go to this reunion? Heater, beater. Oh, my God. Fuck, that's so good

So you've got to go to I mean we've got enough time to hype this on the pod You've got to go to the reunion Well look I'll check my calendar My next three or four calendars And I'll see if I've got time I would much rather go to a fake Like a high school reunion for a school I never went to

That I got accidentally invited to I would fucking rather go to that a million times over than any actual high school. Well, man, all right. Well, if I go to the – Get me an invite. Yeah. Well, you won't need one.

You just used to play, remember? The chain of command. He convinces you that you used to play for them. Then you convince him that I used to play for them and we turn up together. Yeah. Tommy Daslow, under-16s wicketkeeper, remember him? Yeah.

Semi-finals in 94. Yeah. Yeah. for them and we turn up together Tommy Daslow under 16's wicket keeper remember him? semi finals in 94 yeah the air con fucking dick jacker oh my god it's an only cricket club alright

I'll keep an ear to the ground and if the reunion comes up soon I'll see how many of us I can get invites this is like a time capsule episode we have to check back in on this in what fucking 20 And if the reunion comes up soon, I'll see how many of us I can get invites for. This is like a time capsule episode.

We have to check back in on this in, what, fucking 20, what's that, 2021? Say it's for, in another 200 episodes, maybe we'll have the answer. I thought, like, the 600th episode compared this reunion. 600th episode live from the Lanny DiNoli Cricket Club reunion. Did he ever live on his own? Well, I don't know. I don't know the full story. So just –

It couldn't have been a random person walking into his house. Well, yeah, exactly, because then I'm on Heater Beater's side. It's all right to jack off in your own home. Look, you're right. On top of a heater. Yeah, it's cold. I'm like, yeah. When you say over a heater, do you mean he was standing over the heater

and there was other stimulation that he was looking at or he's looking at the heater and going, God damn, this is good stuff. I have to say, much like the cricket club outings, I was not there at the time. So I don't know. But I took, I took, it was inferring that he was leaning over a heater. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Warming, maybe warming himself. Straddling a heater, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. As he's, you know, it's one thing to do it when you're fully cold, but maybe if you're doing it in front of a... Warm it up, yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Try and make it look bigger. Yes, to yourself. Yeah, yeah, totally. You don't want any shrinkage when you're masturbating.

And that's embarrassing for anyone who walks in unannounced. Yeah, yeah. It's just technically difficult as well. And if you're using the heater to like warm it up, that's like less energy that you're exerting. So, you know, that's smart. If only he'd said on the phone call you know it's heater beating oh i know exactly honestly if he had said that it would have worked a lot quicker just just his wife god damn jim why are the

heating bills always so high and the bills are so high plus we've got to get the service guy to come out and keep fixing it. Something keeps clogging up the heater. Clogging the heater. Oh, fucking hell. You ever go to any reunions, Sonia? No. Any high school reunions or anything?

Did you get the 10-year reunion? 10-year, yeah. I didn't go. You didn't go? 20 years. 20 years, what, coming up for you in about five, six years? Will you go to that? 20 – 2002?

What's that? 2002? So five years, four years? Five years. Nah, probably not. You're not going to go? So there was a 10-year reunion and you didn't go? Yeah.

I didn't go to my 10-year. We didn't have one. So why didn't you go? What's your reason for not going? That's brutal. You don't get invited to a reunion for a thing you actually could come to. I don't know if I was – for a thing you actually could come to. I don't know if I was – I was probably busy, man.

Oh, very nice. Because, I mean, we didn't have a 10-year, but – I mean, we haven't had any reunion, I think. Yeah, not that I've been told of. It's been 25 for you now. It would be this year. Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

We should have a 10-year reunion of the first episode of this podcast. Just get Nick Cody in here. Me and you. Talk about you wanting to go to Thailand. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. We should have a 10-year reunion of the first episode of this podcast. Just get Nick Cody in here and talk about you wanting to go to Thailand. Well, you better start organising it now. Yeah, yeah. It's going to creep up before you know it. It's a certain type of freak that really gets into going to their 10-year reunion,

I've got to say. Yeah, totally. You don't want to be too keen, but it's also a bit – is it weird to not go? I still see everyone that I want to see. You know what I mean? Anyone that I don't see anymore is for a reason. Yeah. It's just people like showing off that they're doing good or whatever. Right.

No interest. Okay. That's a good answer for me. I wasn't doing good. Right, right, right, right. I mean 28's a line call where it's like it's either going to be people who've just like excelled out of, you know, lived with their parents until they were 27 so that they could save up

the money to buy a house or people that are just still like muddling the way through the end of their 20s going, what the fuck am I going to do? Well, see, I would have been more of a chance to go to a 10-year one than a 20 or a 25-year one because it's like 10 years later, I was doing graphic design full-time. I can talk about that. That's fine.

But once I'm doing comedy and I'm not turning up to a reunion going, I do stand-up and I do a podcast and whatever. I'm like, imagine talking to everyone. Everyone going, do you know Cal Barron? Yeah, all that stuff. Do you like Hughsey? I think he's shit. Just heaps of that.

Can you tell Lemo to get fucked? Yeah, that's what it is. He's not as funny as Heater Beater. Yeah, you go to the reunion as well. Who is? Who is? There's no one funnier than Heater Beater. That's the best thing I've ever heard.

Heater Beater's very good. Heater Beater, that's so fucking great. That's great if that's like a – you know those shows about people that think they're in a relationship with like a roller coaster or like – Oh, yeah. Married the Eiffel Tower. Oh, yes. Yeah, he's in love with his heater.

And he was aware that that's his nickname too. Well, when you burn those words into a cricket pitch and you turn up to coach the under-16s, I reckon you're aware. So he was like wearing it as a badge of honour. No, no. He didn't introduce himself as Heater Beater, like this is the thing that other people call him, he's not saying it Again, I've never talked to him

I don't know him, so I don't know whether Look, I'm going to call it, he's not embracing it He's not going to be a person saying You know what, I want everyone to remember that 25 years ago I jerked off into a heater Burning it into the cricket pitch is great as well, using the very saying, you know what, I want everyone to remember that 25 years ago I jerked off into a heater. Burning it into the cricket pitch is great as well. Using the

very same form of heat that he himself is so aroused by. Yeah, I'm sure that's what the Denali kids were thinking. Beautiful irony. 6am on a Saturday. We had a guy in my school who had the nickname Ramjet because he put his dick in a spa jet. But he was at a house party

and he, I mean that's brazen. Thinking that, I mean this guy got sprung in his own home. Heater Beater got sprung in a spa jet. But he was at a house party and he – I mean, that's brazen. Thinking that – I mean, this guy got sprung in his own home. He to be to got sprung in his own home. So you've got to feel – you know, he's just forgotten to lock the door or whatever. Whereas this guy is just at a house party going, I reckon I can get away with this. Yeah.

Well, who knows whether it was your own home? Like, I don't know the full story because, I mean, once you – Someone else's home? Sorry? Someone else's home? Well, it would be a lot easier to spring someone if it's in someone else's home. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Maybe someone walking into his house is less likely than this guy being in someone else's home and going, I reckon I can get away with this for a minute. Oh, no, I can't. You've got to go to the reunion just so you can corner this guy and go, mate, talk me through that night. I want to know what happened. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How does the legend start?

Because it's one of those things as well where like someone, you know, like at that age someone just goes, oh, you know, Josh Earle, how he stuck a caramello koala up his ass. No, I didn't. Yes, he did, everyone. He's denying it. Yeah, caramello ass, yeah. And you deny it, which is worse than you just saying,

yes, I definitely did this. Yeah, totally, totally. So maybe it never happened. I don't know., I definitely did this. Yeah, totally, totally. So maybe it never happened. I don't know. But I think it did. Yeah. For the sake of the story. I think it definitely did.

I don't know this. I don't know any of the players in this story. It's a pretty remark. I'm using my critical eye to say it happened. It takes at the very least a very creative mind to think up that story out of nothing. Someone was jerking off over a heater. Like out of all the stories you can make up, that's a weird one to make up out of thin air. I love the idea of just making up.

Me and my friends were trying to think a funny rumour to start about someone in our group and just see if we could get it to take. I reckon we try and start a rumour that one of us in our friendship group is illiterate, just doesn't know how to read. And it was like three of us sitting there and we were like, we could say it about this

person and everyone was like, no, people wouldn't buy it. And I'm like, the sad reality is like the three people that people would believe that about are the ones sitting right here. Like we're the three most likely candidates. I'm happy to put myself in the firing line. I'm happy to just like get it out there that I can't read. Sorry, Sonia. What I was going to say, when I was in high school,

this guy, my friend,, she broke up with her boyfriend and so to get back at her, he started a rumour and I don't know if you guys are going to get this reference, it's a country thing. He started a rumour that her dad was Prime Possum. So Prime Possum is like, Prime is the country version of Channel 7. Yeah.

The regional version of Channel 7. And Prime Possum was just like a guy in a suit, a big possum suit, that was like in the morning for kid shows or something like that. Like a big mascot. Yeah. I found that weird. Cash cow for country people. Yeah.

That's great. What he came up with. Now, look, that now makes me think maybe a heater bed was made up because that's a fucking great creative lie. Yeah. Because we had one, a similar thing. A couple broke up. They were the first couple in our high school who had sex in my year.

And they had the rumour that it got out that he rubbed a bar of chocolate on her vagina and the plan was he was going to eat it off. Hang on, hang on. Was Mick Jagger and Marianne Faithfull in your class at school? But then they fell asleep and she woke up and just had a shower and washed the peppermint crisp off her fanny. Wow. And that went across everywhere and they denied it.

But, like, well, who started that? Like, that didn't have to get out anywhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And how is peppermint puss going? Didn't have to get out anywhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And how is Peppermint Puss going? I remember going on holidays to the country as a kid and turning on the TV and the bumpers coming.

I'm like, okay, all the ads are different. I'm like, prime, what the fuck? And then they're like, I just always found that so weird that you go into the country and it's a different name, it's the same shows, but then for some weird reason there's some weird fucking dress-up animal telling you to go to bed at 5.30pm. Are people out here just dim?

Like they need to be told to go to bed by the television? Whenever I'm in a new city, the local newsreaders don't seem real. It seems like they're acting. It's so weird. Yeah. I was thinking about this last night. Do you reckon the people that run Prime, like Amazon Prime launching in this country,

they're like, what the fuck? This is bad for us. Yeah. Bad branding. Yeah. I don't know. Speaking of fucking weird people from the country, this happened the other night as well.

Oh, here we go. My phone rang. Strap in for the next 45 minutes, guys. Here we go. Is this phone or heater related? Neither. Neither. Yeah, no, this is a new genre.

I'm going to try it tonight, by the way. I'm going to turn this bad boy on. Yours is right on the ceiling, so good luck with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He must be loving it when his laptop gets really hot. He's like, oh, this is the best. Yeah, yeah. Also, I like it.

In hindsight, I do like how I've gone. I better not give his name out, so I'll change his name. Anyway, he's the coach at Latter-day Night Cricket Club. He's organising the reunion. He's got the – he got around to his house. His nickname is Heater Beater. He's got the heater that's covered in cum. That's him.

It's like – and also everyone in that town would know when you say Heater Beater. It's not like – you know, everyone knows everything back there. You're right. My heating is like it's mounted up on the wall near the roof. So, Carl, if you come around here and there's a stepladder right next to that heater, you'll know what I've been up to here. I've been giving it a good old crack, having a bit of a reunion. So I was at my Saturday night gig that I run every week,

Basement Comedy Club in Melbourne, Saturday nights, 8pm, at the bottom of the European Beer Cafe every Saturday. Big names, guys, come along. You must be – you're always wrapped when something fucked happens at your gig because it means you get to sneak a little plug in there. Yeah, yeah. So a guy comes in and he's like super enthusiastic. He's like – again, it's the same sort of story where the guy just comes up

and he's telling me what's going on. Actually, fuck, it's the same thing. He comes up and he goes, hey, fucking, and whoever he's with has told him my name. So the guy comes up and goes, hey, Carl, how are you going? And so I'm on the back foot straight away because he's like going, he knows my name. He's going, what else is happening?

And you're going, podcast listener? Yeah. No, but totally. Yeah. Because you He's going, what else is happening? And you're going, podcast listener. Yeah. No, but totally. Yeah. Because you go, well, what else is this? So he's like rattling off in front of me and going blah, blah, blah. And I'm going, fuck, who's this guy? And I'm rattling through the brain going, who's this guy?

And he goes, yeah, I know you and whatever. And he goes, you know, I come from, you know, I'm Wopsy. I can't remember his name. So I'll say I'm Wopsy. I'm Wopsy. I'm Wopsy. You remember? I'm from Port Ferry.

So anyway, what else is going on? Your netball coach from Port Ferry. So I'm thinking, fuck, Port Ferry. And again, I'm on the back foot going, did I play cricket for them? Yeah, totally. Did I wank on a heater in Port Ferry or something? Port Ferry's not anywhere near Maryborough, though, is it? No, it's ages away.

It's like two, three hours away or something like that. But he said that name. And so as I'm talking to him again, I'm trying to go through a story in the back of my head going, all right, I'll keep up appearances in the front. Okay, wopsie, what else is going on, whatever. And I'm going, what the fuck, Port Ferry, Port Ferry, Port Ferry. I reckon I went there on a footy club trip once maybe.

What did I do? That was ages ago. That was like 15 years ago. A very mentally taxing week for you. You must be exhausted. Yes. It's just good to get it out here. And I'm going through the whole thing and, again, he's very eager.

He's very like – and it's very convincing. It's like if you want to lie to someone, use these guys as a model because they just would not stop. They're like little energizer bunnies going, giving me all this content. I'm going, okay, I'm convinced. I don't know who the fuck you are. I'm learning a lot. You just got to back yourself. Yes. You know, not take no for an answer yeah yeah it's like trump you know you just barrel through and no

one calls you on it and go okay well i never get punished good i'm gonna try it after this i'm gonna go in a local indian joint guy i run this place so i'll just have all this for free thanks yeah it's not back down until i get a free butter chicken yeah indian tommies yeah you know it's me also i have never wanked on a heater. Why? I've wanked on a naan, but, you know, whatever. I'm wondering if different kinds of heat turn me on. So I'd like a Rogan Josh, thanks. And I guess I will be trying to come on to it.

Nothing too hot. It really turns me on, guys. So just no chillies or you don't want to see what will happen under the table, guys. So this guy goes at me and goes at me or whatever. And then I go, okay. And he walks away and I'm like, okay, fuck, I don't know who that guy is but I must know him from somewhere. Is this when you're doing the door?

Yes. Is this person coming in? There's a big line behind him, all this sort of stuff. That's great. I love that. It's terrible. So he goes away. Anyway, he's with another comic and he's hanging around with him.

Anyway, we get into the gig and I'm still thinking, oh, I don't know what the connection was. And I'm starting to come around to the idea of, okay, I don't know him. I don't know why he came up. He got my name from the comic. I don't know what the Port Ferry thing is, but it was just one of those little bits of information where you go, that could be me.

You chuck in a random town and you go, fuck, well, I have been there. So maybe it's from there or something like that. Anyway, we get into the gig. You've got to start keeping a journal or something. Yeah, an atlas. I've got to mark everything on an atlas or something. So as the show starts or whatever, this guy just starts yelling out during the show.

And, you know, it's a very well-behaved crowd and it's just this one guy who's like, you know, that classic thing in the comedy club of like someone going, oh, you know, brings up a hypothetical question and the guy's like, yeah, me. I wanked on a heater, you know, that classic thing in the comedy club of like someone going, oh, you know, brings up a hypothetical question and the guy's like, yeah, me, I wanked on a heater, you know, whatever. So he's yelling at Ancestor stuff. Anyway, then his mate goes on stage. He starts heckling his mate.

Great. Do you want to say who his mate is or not? His mate was Chris Franklin. Okay. Who hasn't been on the show before. Yeah, yeah. But people will know him. People will know him.

Now that paints a very good picture of this guy. Yeah, that's a very important context. Because if you said Mike Goldstein, I'm like, okay, that's weird. Yeah. No, Chris Franklin, he's got a big mullet. He's got that sort of bogan, what do you call it? Persona? Persona, yes.

Life. Yeah. This is like if you could hear what we'd been saying at that table at Rockpool. Completely different context. No, no, no It paints the story in a different picture Chris is a lovely bloke so he would not have put up He would have come over and bashed us Yes

It's not fair to associate what we said last night with anyone And then we would have gone Why has this man been allowed in Rockpool not wearing shoes? But hey, fair enough Yes So anyway, he was being heckled by his mate And Chris is not loving it And the thing is with being heckled by his mate And Chris is not loving it And the thing is with being heckled

As you might know If a random person heckles you And then you shut them down They'll go, oh okay, I get it That's the power system here But if your friend heckles you And you put them down They go, who cares?

Because I know the consequences of this is Fuck all Because that's just my mate So who cares what he does to me? And they've got too much info They know too much You're a loaded me And they've got too much info Yeah You know they know too much You're a loaded weapon

And they know that like You're not going to get them kicked out Or they know They're not scared of you You're not going to jump off and bash them They know who you are All that sort of stuff So he

This guy's heckling Chris And just fucking everything up And I have to keep going over to him And going Man Shut up You're in a comedy club Just shut up

And he goes Oh sorry mate Sorry mate Sorry mate Calm Sorry, mate. Sorry, mate. Calm. Sorry, mate. Sorry, mate. And then honestly, I did it like four or five times.

I honestly did this. Shut up, mate. And he goes, okay, sorry, sorry. One, two, three. Hey, Chris, shut up. Fuck you. And I go back. I haven't even walked away yet.

And I go, man. And he goes, oh, fuck. Sorry, I forgot. How do you forget in three seconds? So anyway. He thought it was like food on the floor three second rule it's all good so in the end i go man i'm gonna have to get you to leave you have to go or something and he goes oh yeah yeah yeah all right carl yeah yeah i get it

yeah no worries no worries carl and he keeps saying carl and i go look i've got it i've got to ask you before you go what we don't know each other, do we? And he goes, no. I go, fuck. Why did you tell me you lived in Port Ferry? And he goes, I don't. I don't live in Port Ferry. That's the trick. Never tell anyone where you live.

He opened with I live in Port Ferry just to throw me off the trail. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He actually lives across the street. His girlfriend was asleep upstairs. Oh, that's right. He did say, I live in the Port Ferry. Yeah, but his trick isn't never tell anyone where you live. His trick is tell people you live in a different place.

Yeah, yeah. And do it as the first thing you say to anyone. That would be great if he lives like the very next, whatever the very next town to Portland. So he's so easy to track down. Port Ferry West. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got you on a technicality.

The rule of the set. Different postcode. So that's his thing. He just goes around heckling shows and just like giving false information. Or just heckling Chris Franklin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No comics can track him down. He was like the – he was just a little guy.

It was like the – you know the concept of like Melbourne Cup when there's like a foreign horse that comes over. And it's this huge big stallion thing and then they bring over a little Shetland pony because it's like it's their best mate. To calm it down, yeah. To calm it down. This is like the opposite. This is the opposite.

He brought this guy along To fuck up his gigs Was Chris put off by this? Did he like Did he say anything Very much so Right Did he seem shitty? He was shitty on stage

Because it was that thing You know He's got stock sand lines To put down Hecklers or whatever Because he knows This is not going to work On a friend

He just looks over him At one point And then looks back At the audience And goes Sorry This will be over soon. So the audience knew it was his mate?

That wasn't made clear, no. Yeah, I don't know why he didn't – why didn't he point that out? I don't know. Right. I don't know why. We've been talking about Chris Franklin a lot on this show lately. Yeah, we talked about him when we had Dave O'Neill and Hughes on here. Oh, okay.

About him sleeping under a bridge. Oh, that's right. We'll have to get him on here. Well, the tree doesn't never tell someone where you live though. Yes, but what bridge? Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of bridges. Yeah, exactly.

Exactly. We should get him on. We haven't. He has asked to be on. I'd like to have him on. Yeah. Fascinating guy. It's rare that a guest asks to be on.

Yeah. Yeah, I think. Yeah, it's scary. Award winning. Sonia didn't ask to be on. We had to guest asks to be on. Yeah. Yeah, I think. Yeah, it's scary. Sonia didn't ask to be on. We had to beg her to be on. Yeah. Yeah. You were busy on a date with a French guy or something.

We said, no, cancel that. Get rid of that number. I was going to get free rock pool. We had to work around Sonia having an actual life. Oh, yeah. Putting stuff on. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

You had a job today. You've got an actual job, don't you? Job. God, what's it like Yeah Oh it's fucked What day do you get paid Don't do it What do you mean

What day do you get paid I get paid fortnightly Oh nice On a Tuesday This Tuesday No next Tuesday What a life Regular money

It's coming up Not even knowing what Tuesday means You're doing alright for yourself Yeah Yeah Someone's good at budgeting Yeah Because that's it A lot of people On the socials and whatever That listen to this show Go oh you know Knowing what Tuesday means you're doing all right for yourself. Yes. Someone's good at budgeting. Yeah. Because that's it.

A lot of people on the socials and whatever that listen to this show go, oh, you know, great, it's payday. Now I can finally go and get a ticket to your show or whatever. And I go, fuck, I've never been that guy to live paycheck to paycheck and to be waiting for that Tuesday to come up or whatever. I couldn't live like that. I'd go fucking crazy. Yeah. I'd be anxious.

It's pretty funny people letting you know about their financial situation too. Yeah. Just so you know, boys, completely fucked it this crazy. Yeah. I'd be anxious. It's pretty funny people letting you know about their financial situation too. Yeah. Just so you know, boys, completely fucked it this month. Yeah. Been living on fucking bread and water for three days, but now that the money's come in, you know, I'm turning over a new leaf. Time to be completely financially responsible by buying tickets to a podcast. There's a reviewer.

And to all those people out there that tell us about living, you know, week to week and then getting a podcast ticket. Yeah, Rockpool was very nice last night, so thanks for asking. There's a what? A reviewer? I was going to say there's a reviewer who I'm friends with on Facebook who's constantly saying how little money he has and then he also gets to judge us on our life decisions.

That's great. Thanks, mate. I know who you're talking about too. Chris Franklin. No. Weren who you're talking about too. Fuck that guy. Yeah, Chris Franklin. No. Were you a student? I was a student, yeah, but I've always been a – Privileged. No.

Comes from money. The Chandler Empire. No, I've never been a scab of my mum and dad. I was on AusStudy at school. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, I've never been taking money off my parents. No offence, Tommy.

Didn't you just randomly move home when you were like 22 or something? Like you moved out and you're in Ballarat for a bit and then you told me you just randomly like just went back home. It wasn't random. I got a job. I got a job. In Maribor? Yeah.

My first job was at the Maribor Advertiser. Right. Oh, that's right. So I had to move back there for like a year and it was – yeah, yeah. That weird thing where you've been out of your house and then you've been at uni with all your friends and doing whatever you want and then you go back to live in – not even in Meribor because my parents live outside of Meribor. And it's 15 minutes out and I didn't have my license so I had to rely on my mum and

dad driving me in and out to go to work and all my friends had moved from Maribor to everywhere else in the world and it's just me working at the log paper for a year. Your mum knocking on the bedroom door going, why is the heater in there, Carl? Yes. I always – I found that weird when you hit that age where some of your friends have like proper full-time jobs and they're living at home.

It's like, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah. Get out. Well, totally because, I mean, I moved out at 17. So I moved to Ballarat and then people were like living with their parents at 20 and 21. I'm like, what are you doing yeah get out well totally because i mean i moved out at 17 so we i moved to ballarat and then people were like living with their parents at 20 and 21 i'm like what are you doing and they're like why would we move out mum cooks dinner every night i'm like okay where do you get off before saying that you're not a scab off your mum and dad and then your mum's driving you to work every day when at the age of 22 i was paying i was paying an allowance my love's taking us to

rock pool every second week yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I was paying board. Right. It's like bootleg. You're test running Uber, just like paying for your lifts in the town. Yeah, man. Yeah, that was not good. And I'm sure they appreciated it.

As soon as I moved away from Maryborough again, I got my driver's license. It's like, oh, nice. Now you've decided to drive. Good one. Good one. Yeah, I had an ex Who like Not long after we broke up She didn't have her licence

So I drove everywhere And then I saw her on Instagram Like You know I was Took her on a couple of lessons And then saw her not long after we broke up Her like

Oh yeah here I am Like You know Going for my You know L's now Like God

You've got to be fucking Like Finally got around to doing it After all those years So where do you work Sonia What do you do, Sonia? What do you do during the day? I work at – You don't have to say the business if you don't want to, but what do you do?

I work at a university in student theatre and film. Oh, so what do you do? So we run arts festivals and theatre seasons and such on campus for students to make shows basically. Because on top of this, it's implied rather than us saying it, but you are a stand-up comedian. Yes. You do Melbourne-based.

You do all of the rooms. You do all of our rooms and stuff like that. Very, very good. Oh, thanks, mate. But, yeah, you do have a day job at the moment. Yeah. Yeah. So what do you literally do?

Literally do day-to-day. Oh, everything. Literally do Day to day Oh Everything Admin Publicity I Do Like devise and direct shows You direct uni shows

Yeah Are you a lecturer there at the uni? No It's non-academic Phew Yeah It's like I work for the student union

Yeah So it's like an extracurricular thing So you're a director of the theatre Yeah Nice What was the last show you directed? Well I. So you're a director of the theatre? Yeah. Nice. What was the last show you directed? Well, I'm directing a couple of short student plays. Do you not want to name them because it makes it too obvious

where you work? No. What do you mean? What are the shows? Oh, they're just student-written. Oh, student-written. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no Death of a Star.

Are you involved with the uni's law review? Are you involved in that? We don't really do one. Good. Yeah, because they're shit. Do you go to all the student parties? Do they invite you to the parties? Oh, yes, they do.

Oh, yes. No, we kind of organise it because, like, at the end of a theatre season, yeah, there's always, like, a big after party for the thing. Right. And I do go, should I go? Probably not A traffic light party is still a thing at unis?

I don't know. We had one when I started uni Do they call you Mr. Oreo? No! I'm not teaching No that sounds like Dilruch or something Because it's like you know mostly arts and theatre students. Right.

But it's people studying any – they could be studying business or whatever but they want to perform. But it's kind of like – there's some cool people around but also the other day I was like – there was a rehearsal going on next door and they were like seeing Disney songs and I'm like, where did all the fucking cool people go? Why aren't you doing drugs in there? What's going on?

Yeah. You're sick of the geeks. Hanging out with performing artists every day. A lot of massaging going on, I bet. I did a theatre degree. I know all about the massaging. What? Fucking gross.

What's the massaging? Everyone just massages each other all the time because they can't say, hey, I want to have sex with you. So they just massage each other. Oh, really? All the fucking time. Because all the guys are a bit like, I could be gay but I'm not sure. Right.

And so they're just massaging everyone because they're safe. It's fine. We're always lacking guys. There's always a heap of girls. In my year there was four guys and 25 women. Yeah. Oh, really? Were you one of the four guys? Yeah, I was one there was four guys and 25 women. Oh, really? Were you one of the four guys?

Yeah, I was one of the four boys. Is that a little bit like you like those odds? You know, it's a bit like the male hairdressers. They get in there and go, well, well, well. I had to go into my – to audition for the course. They said, oh, just so you know, it is a lot more females than males. And I went, oh, no, like that. And two of them laughed and one of them went and just wrote it down.

I'm like, oh, I'm not getting in. Someone at the next table at Rockpool was like, that kind of joking is offensive. You're ruining our evening. Yeah, I was about to say before, on my O week at uni, when I went, they had a traffic light party, which is like you either turn up wearing green, yellow or red. Red is like taken, you know, don't want to hook up.

Yellow is like maybe. Green is like fucking get me in there, dude. And it's just like such a flawed concept because, of course, every guy shows up wearing green. Yeah, man, I'm a fuck machine. Get me out there. And the girls at best are in yellow. Like at best.

So you're just like walking around going. Before you head into it, you're like, this is the fucking greatest concept of all time. This is a genius idea. In a cartoon, that's a good idea. Yeah, and then you get there, you're like, oh, yeah, of course. Like there should be a bouncer at the door. If you're walking wearing red, it's like, don't come in. Yeah.

Why come in? Why come in if you're red? You should have to play the odds a bit more and it's like, if you wear green, you have to fuck someone else's green. So just all guys going, oh, well, we knew the rules when we signed up. Yeah. Yeah, that's a fucking weird idea. Why turn up wearing red?

Just so you know, you can't touch me. Well, I mean, you can go. Maybe it's for that reason. Maybe that's why fucking weird idea. Why turn up wearing red? Just so you know, you can't touch me. Well, I mean, you can go. Maybe it's for that reason. Maybe that's why you're wearing red. You're allowed to go to a party if you have a boyfriend. Are you saying why would you go to a party if you don't want to fuck everyone? But no, but that's a traffic light party. Traffic light party totally is set up as something where it's like the concept of the party is you get to know who is up for fucking.

It's like people who go speed dating with their mates even though they've already got a partner. Well, I've already got a girlfriend. I'm just here to support my mate. I'm just French. If you went to a traffic light party with your partner and you go to pick them up and you're in red and then you pick them up and they're in yellow,

you're like, what the fuck? All right. We've got to wrap it up for another week on the Little Dum Dum Club. Josh Earl, Sonia DeOrio, thank you so much for joining us. Thanks, guys. Josh, you've got your podcast, Don't You Know Who I Am? Yes, I'm doing a bunch of live shows as well in September 16, seven weeks at the Catfish Sundays at four o'clock.

So go to my website, joshu.com.au, and get some tickets for that. It's awesome. Nice. Sonia, what have you got? Anything you want to plug? Just doing a lot of gigs in Melbourne. Yeah, I do all the gigs pretty regularly. People can see, like, Spleen and that fucking basement comedy club.

Don't fucking heckle me. But I'm your friend. I'm allowed. One, two, three. Fuck you. Yeah, we got all that shit on. Say our little dumdumclub.com. Thanks so much for listening, guys, and we'll see you next time.

See you, mate. Oh, you have listened. Hater beater. And they've done it again. I concur. Well, Son, you're doing it for the first time on this one and doing it very well, I think. Yeah, good episode, fun.

And yeah, look, just to confirm, I'm just waiting to hear any feedback about that story about Heter Beta to see if that comes back at me at all. I think that's going to be one. This will be an immediate classic, I think. That's going to be one – this will be an immediate classic, I think. That's going to be one straight into the canon. Yeah, straight into the Chandler fuck stories canon. So, yeah.

I keep thinking, oh, I think I'm done for Mirabarra, done Mirabarra stories, and then I dredge another one up. And then that phone rings. Yeah. But that's what's great about this one is like the stories are just coming to you now. Yeah. Literally all you did is answer the phone and then wouldn't you know it, a great new yarn into the lexicon.

Yep. Old heater beater. Heater beater. That's good stuff. Yeah, lots of fun. Yeah, very, very much interested into whether I hear anything back from Denali, from Meribar, from anyone like that. But anyway. You know what?

I mean, that would be cool. But you know what I think would be better is if we heard back from the guy that got us in trouble at Rockpool. Oh. I'd love to hear from him. Yeah. Somehow, if just by some bizarre turn of events, if like he's mentioned it to a friend, you know what I mean?

He's left. He's gone. These three cunts. Yeah. One of them tried to sell me an Uzi. Yeah. And then someone's listened to this and gone, Jesus Christ, that's the same guy. And not only that. So next time we go to Rockpool, he comes up to us again

and we go, we're going to get punched and then he goes, love the show, mate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or live event, he was itching for a fight. We just have a fucking bare knuckle boxing match with him. No, I don't want to do that. Out in the car park of the Comics Lounge, October 28th. Wow, good place for it. We just get curb stomped.

What a way to go out. Do a big sold out show and then get our heads caved in in the car park yeah and you think that's that's a that's a that's a hero's death i think and 400 of our listeners just laughing yeah thinking this is good this is pretty funny 50 years ago that would have been that's like you know that's valiant that's like being you know fucking blown up valiant. That's like being, you know, fucking blown up on the, you know, in wartime. Yeah. You've gone out and you've served your country. We went out there. We put some choice content onto the internet.

And then we just fucking go out in a hail of bullets. Yeah. That's what I want. That's the future that I want for myself. Yeah. And then we just become super legends because we went out at our peak. However small that peak might have been. Yeah.

Episode that we've just done didn't get recorded. I mean, it's the perfect death.'s got everything fuck would you for one of those don't we're about to we're about to record an ep like an actual ep after this don't jinx it we've got a few up our sleeves i hope you're backing these up somewhere i hope you but please back these up because we've got about three in there yeah we do got our sleeves no they're backed up all right i've got multiple copies all right good good good i mean i keep multiple copies across media that i keep in the same place at all times right in the same bag great so if something happens to that bag but i mean i i mean i hope back them up i hope you're listening to what

you're saying because i am that's it sounds crazy it sounds it sounds completely valid no it doesn't though like if you think harder if you use use a backup brain of yours and think about what you've That sounds crazy. It sounds completely valid. No, it doesn't though. Like if you think harder, use a backup brain of yours and think about what you've just seen. Well, the backup brain is in the same skull as the first brain and I just put my head into the microwave. Jesus Christ. So they've both gone down in flames.

This guy is a fucking idiot. Who are you whispering to? I can't hear a damn thing. Oh, sorry. I was just talking to myself. Sorry. I'll get back on mic. Anyway, while you were't hear, I can't hear a damn thing. Oh, sorry. I was just talking to myself. Sorry. I'll get back on mic. Anyway, while you were doing that, I deleted all the apps we have.

Ah, fuck. Why would you? Because it's funny. Look how annoyed you are. It's funny. But when you say annoyed. People love it when you get angry. It's funny.

Okay, look, I don't concur with that one. Well, you just have to come to Japan with me and we'll do some episodes over there. Oh, look, man, I wouldn't mind. So one. Well, you just have to come to Japan with me and we'll do some episodes over there. Oh, look, man. I wouldn't mind. So that's what we're doing. We're backing up episodes because you are off to the big easy, Japan. Yep.

The country that never sleeps. Mm-hmm. Yep. So we're doing a bunch of these before you jet off there. Yes, yes. I'm only gone for like two weeks, but the fucking ravenous listeners of this, they demand to be fed every week and we're left with no choice.

That's the bed that we've made for ourselves. Any kind of interruption to our schedule, we have to oblige these people. There's no holidays here at the little dum-dum club. No, there's no time for you to go off and walk across the Great Wall or anything like that. No, yep. Wow, I'm learning a lot about Japan just from you saying things about it too. Yeah, yeah.

I know a lot about Japan. Right. Yeah. Tell me, what do you think, what's the first, when I get off the plane, what's the first thing I should go and do? First thing you should do, probably visit where they keep King Kong. Okay. Right.

The eighth one, the ninth wonder of the world. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Visit him He's on an island Off Japan Kong Island

The opposite Yeah The opposite end of the Country from Godzilla Obviously Because if they were both Within Cui of each other

Whoa That would make a movie You can imagine what that would be like Yeah That would be That would be like Godzilla Versus King Kong or something Yeah

Or something close to that Yeah Yeah Maybe the other way around. King Kong versus Godzilla. It's all hypothetical. Yeah. So maybe do that.

What else can you do? Yeah. Look, I think that's all I saw when I went there. Right. You've run out of other foreign things that you know is what's happened to this bit. Have a fucking dingo sandwich. Oh, that's us. Oh, arigato.

But yes, few eps in the tank, ready to go. Do we need to say anything more about these live shows? We're looking forward to getting out there. Oh, yeah. Seeing the listeners. Heard the top. Yeah, this is the big one for Melbourne. We've just announced the Brisbane one.

So the Brisbane one, it's a bigger venue than we've had before, isn't it? So we need to sell even more tickets this time. That Triffid, baby. It's going to be fun. But that last show that we did in Brisbane sold out really quick. So there's obviously some people that missed out last time. So here's your big chance. Yep.

That last show did sell out really quick, but there was no stand-up on the bill. Yeah. Are we toying with a kind of mysterious element here? Who knows? We'll find out soon enough. But like I said, great guests. Great guests for the podcast. Great guests for the potty.

We're dragging up some super faves. So you will love it. So get onto it. You've got Brisbane are always – I've said it before. I'll say it again. Pound for pound. The best. Yes.

Best shows up there. Always really good shows. Very rapid ticket buyers. Yeah, great stuff. Best listeners. I'm putting it out there. It really good shows. Very rapid ticket buyers. Yeah, great stuff. Best listeners. I'm putting it out there. It's a challenge to everyone else. Yeah.

Be better, guys. Yeah. Be better. Hey, look. Prove us Adelaide listeners. Prove us wrong by turning up to your live podcast in Melbourne. In Melbourne, yes. Yes.

Yes. So that's going to be- October the 28th at the Comics Lounge. Tickets on sale for that now. Live podcast plus a roast. Everything through our website, obviously. All the live shows, all the tickets, all the t Lounge. Tickets on sale for that now. Live podcast plus a roast. Everything through our website, obviously. All the live shows, all the tickets, all the T-shirts. You know what?

Hey, I'll say this. I don't think I've said this on a podcast before. Every now and then we get complaints about the T-shirts and the lady listeners of ours would write in and say, look, there's no girl sizes, there's only boy sizes. It's not going to be shapely for me, that sort of stuff. So you know what? We've got a bunch of them you want to look really say that yeah you want to look sexy while you're rocking my big breasts are not going to look any good in this

shit t-shirt that you boys have made yeah yeah you've this is these fucking flower sacks that you have for your fucking 6xl fans are not fitting snugly around my hourglass figure. Love, Sophia Loren. So, look, we printed a bunch of them. Women's sizes. Yeah, of lady sizes for a bunch of the t-shirts. All I'm getting is fucking orders from girls ordering men's sizes. Right. So, girls, stick to your lane.

It's your t-shirt. Buy some of them because the guys aren't going to buy the fucking girls' ones. So I'm reprinting shirts and all we've got left of the original designs is just the girls' ones. So get one of the girls' designs, guys. You literally – I cannot sell this to any of our male 17XL listeners. You can wear whatever you want except in this instance. You have to wear the shirt that we specifically designed

for you and your figure. Yeah, and they're pink and they have ponies on them. So fucking buy those ones. We're trying to be good progressive guys by, you know, making these little Dum Dum Club t-shirts that have love hearts on them and say, what's a podcast, teehee? We're the good guys here. We get it.

And you're just spitting on the effort that we've made. LittleDumbDumbClub.com for all your merchandise needs. You don't deserve these shirts. I've got a good mind to fucking just… Turn this car around. Yeah. Turn these T-shirts around. Throw them off a bridge.

And paint them blue and put a truck on them. Yeah, the boys' colour and the boys' vehicle of choice. Yes. Anyway, thank you to everyone who supports the show on Patreon, which is something you are welcome to do. You can subscribe for an amount of your choosing every month. We really appreciate it. You do, of course, get bonus content as a thank you for chipping in.

You get a little magazine that we put together each month. You get a bonus episode and perhaps the sweetest reward of them all. We read out your name live on the air. Every week we count through a different number of names and we put a bit of the Dum Dum Club podcast magic touch on your name. And we're all marvelled every week by what we come up with. I was going to say, usually I would say we do a completely different number every week. I think we've never repeated the same amount of people that we've read out.

No, I checked before. Although I checked before and we have now done seven names twice. Oh, really? Sorry for that. So we can't do seven? Yeah. Oh, man, I was itching to do seven. Well, that would have been the third time and that would have been a bit embarrassing.

Oh, God. Has six been done? I will check. Okay. Yeah. I just need to warm up the automatic name counting machine. The automatic name counting counting machine. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. Yeah. So that takes a little while because that's only version 2.0. So that's about 15 years old. Right. The AN double CM. But I should have that by the end of the episode. Okay, cool.

Yeah. Great. Well, let's just – we can just plow on and, you know, it'll just kind of – it'll just, you know, alert us when – Yeah, yeah. It'll just work away in the background. Okay, great. Yep. Let's get into it then.

We will get into it. One tiny little piece before we get into it. It just reminded me of something. We've mentioned a couple of times on this. You know, we've got the socials. We've got Instagram. We've got Twitter. We've got Facebook.

We've got the Facebook fan page and we've got the facebook group that's called people aware of the little dumb dumb club and we've got a couple of little questions in there just you know because bots get in there or weirdos stumble in there and you know a couple of times we've let people in and they've just they've been you know just trying to sell fucking you know yeah more trouble than they're worth yeah all this bullshit yeah so we have a couple of little test questions uh that make sure that you prove that you've listened to the show before. It's like getting into Mensa. Yeah, totally.

Except smarter. The opposite. So, look, I want to put out a plea to people that are joining the group. One of the questions is, who is Jenny? Oh, no, what's Rad Dad's daughter? Okay. His name. Yep.

And look, the answer is jenny yep um but a lot of people seem to think the answer is i don't fucking care i don't listen to that fucking shit it's really shit so that's not the correct answer everyone yeah okay we don't need to hear that bit and that's a hard position to be put in as admin because they are then proving their credentials that they do actually listen yes but you position to be put in as admin because they are then proving their credentials that they do actually listen. Yes. But you can't just be letting people in because they're, you know, if they're going to fuck around and not take this thing, see, a teacher can't mark an exam and go, well, I know that you know

the answer. Yeah. But you've just drawn a dick and balls on here where it says, sum up your favourite part of Good Will Hunting. Yeah. And it's like trying to join the Bryan Adams fan club and then the question is what year was the summer the famous summer in? And them going, I don't give a fuck, that song sucks shit. Eating a pussy while getting your dick sucked.

Yeah, yeah. Now that would be the correct answer. No, you didn't, but you haven't answered it correctly. Look, I would take that. It's not actually called that. I would take that. You would? You're in the right vibe.

At least you're not saying, fuck that. Okay, let's make one of these new questions to entry. What is 69ing? All right, okay. I reckon we're going to get some good answers off the back of this. Look, I'll put new questions in because we've had them for a while. I'm sick of fucking hearing about how people don't like Rad Dad or whatever. We haven't even done an episode for fucking Adidas.

We haven't done Rad Dad in so long. Yeah, so shut up. And it still continues to annoy people. Yeah. Look, I know some people like it, but the people who don't like it are very keen to let us know. What do you think is less popular, Rad Dad or this? Talking dumb dumb.

Rad Dad. Really? Yeah. A lot of people hate. People don't really talk about hating this. People just go, I don't listen. Because Rad Dad was in the middle of the Eps. Yeah.

I think that's what pissed people off is that it was unavoidable. These people can just shut off. They get to an hour in and they can see there's four and a half hours left to go. They're like, no thanks. Yeah, sure. Okay. All right. All right.

I've just got that off my mind. Housekeeping done. Yeah. Done. Moving on. Yeah. Okay. First up, got the unplanned title alternator all switched on.

Latest version, so instantaneous. So it's looking very clean. Did you give it a bit of a spit and polish? I did. And I also did that to the unplanned title alternator. So let's get into it. This is going to be a good one. Do you want to press the big button? Hell yes.

Here we go. Thank you to Patreon subscriber. Wow. Lawrence Rushton. Lawrence Rushton. Now, please, Tommy, if we can. Look, this is not an official part of the process, but Lawrence Rushton is quite a big contributor.

So this is sort of like, you know. Oh, the pressure's on. Yeah, you're at work and the big boss comes in, sort of thing like that. You've got to impress the sponsors or something like that. So the sponsors are getting a guide to tour, whatever. You're on your best behaviour. You're dressed up.

This is basically what we're doing at the moment. He's up in the corporate box kind of, you know, sinking crown lagers watching us play down there on the field like a bunch of peasants. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, you know, he comes through the change rooms afterwards. Yep. You know, he says, well done, well done, boys. Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he comes through the change rooms afterwards. Yep. He says, well done, boys.

Yep. Yep. That was – Paws Gatorade over us after a sterling victory. Yeah. Well, no, we do that to the coach, don't we? Yeah, yeah. Maybe even says some inappropriate stuff because he thinks he runs the place because he puts

in so much money. Well, he's in a locker room. Yeah. He's just engaging a bit of locker room talk. Yeah, a bit of horseplay. Mm-hmm. Getting around the lads. Yeah, yeah. But appreciate it, Lawrence. Happy to of locker room talk. Yeah, a bit of horseplay. Getting around the lads. Yeah, yeah.

But appreciate it, Lawrence. Happy to cop it, Lawrence. Yeah. Happy to cop whatever foul language you want to throw our way. Well, coincidentally, as we're speaking of stuff before, he initially pledged $10.69. Nice. But he's upped it since then.

So he's fucking, he's right up the higher echelon. He's loving it. Yeah. He loves loving it. Yeah. He loves this show. Yeah. He wants to make love to the hosts of this show. Good on him. I mean, that's a lot of money to put in.

So to put that much money in, either he really loves the show or that is a fucking drop in the bucket to the fucking Rushton Empire. Yeah, Mount Rushton. Yeah, who? He's got his face carved in a big slab of rock. Yeah, sells fucking ice and pushes it across the fucking borders. So 30 bucks, which he's on at the moment, is fucking nothing to him. Yeah, okay.

Now I'm turning on this guy. It's not enough. Chip in more. Yeah, and stop fucking selling drugs. Triple it. Stop selling drugs. Triple it. Make sure that you're not paying for this with the proceeds of the drugs, because then

if the cops get you, then we'll have to give the money back. This is laundering. It's a laundering scheme where you put the money in and it never comes back to you anyway. You've got to pick one. You can't say stop selling drugs and give us more money. It's one or the other. Well, go legit. I want

him to turn his life around so that he can give us more money. But, what? So he's selling drugs. Yes. And now he's got to quickly turn his life around and find he can give us more money. But what? So he's selling drugs. Yes. And now he's got to quickly turn his life around and find something that pays him even more money. Yes. Fuck, that's a big ask. Yeah.

Well, you know, I'm a big guy. So what? I'm proud of the quality of work that we do here. And I think we deserve to fuck up people's life in that way. This guy, you're proposing that Lawrence Rushton abandons the fucking ice factory that he's got And then just instead Walks into the local library And invents the new version of Facebook

Yeah, I mean Just get a casual job at Coles Just to fill in the blanks While you get the new version of Facebook up and running Right Maybe leave the ice thing off your CV Right But if you think it'll impress.

At Coles. Yeah. Right. I mean, he's running his own factory. That's going to look good on any resume. Yeah, look. Why are you sceptical? I'm trying to get us more money.

And all you're doing is naysaying. No, no, no. I'm not naysaying. I've never worked for Coles. I'm just trying to put myself into the mindset of going into an interview in Coles and saying I make a lot of ice. But it's all good now. I'm stopping.

If I get this job, I'll stop. Now, that's good. If you let me push the trolleys in from the car park, I will sack the 70 employees I've got out in a factory making meth and I'll just concentrate on making sure these don't ding into any fucking corollas. That is such a great power move. You go into a casual job and you're like,

currently I earn my income through sex trafficking. Now, more than happy to give that up. All you've got to do is say the word, get me in here so I can go legit. So, look, if you want to deny this application, then guess what? These children being sold into sex slavery, that's on you, my friend. That is in your hands. Lawrence, just forget the job at Coles. Don't sell these kids into sex trafficking.

Fucking hell. If you have to bump $5 a month off our Patreon subscription, I'm happy about that. But just don't sell as – start selling less children. I'm not. Do what you've got to do to pay us as well. Well, I'm telling you – you know what? I would say sell one less child a month or something.

Like just – I don't mind taking a bit of a hit if that's what it means. Well, we'd love to explore this riff further but we're on a six-month ban at the moment. Yeah. Speaking of getting in trouble like we were on this ep, some of the shareholders had a few words to say to us about some topics of conversation of the last few Talking Dumb Dumbs and we've been left with no option but to oblige. Let's rein it in.

Yep. Thanks, Lawrence. Thanks, Lawrence. Thanks, Rusho. Thanks for the sweet money. Now to get on with talking about some people who don't give as much money as Lawrence Rushton and the filthy blood he has on his hands.

Nice. Turn these guys against each other. That's what we like. All right. This is going to be – sometimes I have a bit of a struggle with pronunciation. So, yeah, look, I think this is going to be another one. So I'll do my best. Yep.

Here we go. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Anne – Edmonds. No, not Anne Edmonds No Not Anne Edmonds Anne Ingebrigtsen Mm

Grodal Oh wow Mm That's a What's that? That's kind of a triple header There's a lot going on there Is that Norwegian?

I think maybe Yeah I've got no idea That sounds Norwegian You've got the benefit of You know seeing it You know seeing it visually. I feel like whenever there's a bit of an Inga, it always makes me think Norway.

Yeah. Inga. Anne Ingebrigtsen. Anne Ingebrigtsen-Gradal. Ingebrigtsen. Are they... That's all the one name? Three separate names.

Three separate names. Well, Anne is... You've heard of Anne. Yeah, I've heard of Anne. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As a concept. But then those last two, that's a hyphenated surname. No hyphenated.

Oh, just two separate surnames. Yeah, I don't know how it works. Maybe a middle name. Maybe, maybe, maybe. What are you doing? I'm just – I'm going through screenshots because I saved myself a little information on people like this. Okay.

I'm just trying to find – The Norwegians. Yeah, sure. Yeah. I'm just going – trying to go through my list of all Norwegian names that I've saved. Right. And see if this is in it. Ingmar.

And Ingebrigtsen Grådal. It's that fucking, that Grådal, that last bit, is it? That's a real fucking headache. That's a nightmare. No offence. Yeah. Sounds like some sort of Bond villain. Grodal. G-R-O-D-A-H-L.

Grodal. That would be sick, a Bond villain who Bond can't pronounce their name properly. And he's just constantly... They're like... Bond's constantly... So where are you from? Norway? Because the Ingebrigtsen sounds a bit

like... Is that Norwegian or – And they're getting shitty at him that he can't – they're trying to kill him and he can't even do them the decency of remembering their name. And he's like, hey, it's easy for you. All you've got to remember is Bond. I'm like the most – A, I'm the most famous spy in the world and even if I wasn't, my surname is four letters.

Like how fucking hard is it? Yeah. Mr. Grambagredich. So Mr. Inger, no, hang on. Is that hyphenated? Anyway, so anyway, Mr. Whatever, we meet again. No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to have a crack at pronouncing my name correctly. That's it and he's tied to the thing and the laser's like heading up towards him and the laser gets turned off if he can just say

this name correctly. So it's up there in front of him on a big screen phonetically and he's like, ingabrit, ingabrit, ingabrit, ingabrit laser's getting closer and closer. I like him. He just gets sliced apart. Yeah, that famous scene where the laser beam is going up towards his crotch.

It's just like, I just love that movie in the 60s where it's like everyone in the cinema going, oh, imagine if they chopped James Bond's dick off. Yeah, the idea that it's like men, you know, instinctively, you know, we can imagine what that would feel like going, oh, not the dick, but expecting all the women in the audience to just be like on board with that too. What if they just remade that movie now and so that scene is in the next james bond movie because you know james bond's very

old-fashioned a lot of his values are still in the 60s and stuff like that so people go oh james bond's a womanizer and you know as a negative role model and whatever yeah so they do that again this time his dick actually gets fucking lasered off hell yeah that's the start of the movie that's the prologue yeah and then it's him living life without a dick. Yeah. So then he can't hit on women anymore. He's just like, just a cool spy who's like pretty nice to ladies. Yeah, he gets neutered. Yeah. And he's actually, he's a more effective spy.

Yeah. Because, so like normally, he's not got testosterone on the brain. Yeah, he's never getting drugged by some fake Russian agent. Because now, like it'll take him a full like two hour movie to bring down the bad guy. This new James Bond, he can just get so much more done because he's not fucking all the time. So two hour movie, he's taken out like 37 bad guys. He's just so efficient

now. Some Russian double agent in a big long black dress sidles up to him and he goes, fuck off Natasha, I've got shit to do. I can't think of a Dick anymore because I can't think of something that's not there. And he hasn't got it properly bandaged up and he's constantly

in a white tux that's just got a big red stain on the front of it. That's his new calling card. And that's the climax of the movie where he drops his Dax and he's just got a machine gun down there now instead. Yeah, right, right, right. That's where they put the gadget. That's sick. Yeah.

They pin him down like a different villain pins him down and puts the laser beam. Right. And it goes up to chop what they think is a dick, but all it hits is like a button. Yeah. It's like a big machine gun coming out of where his balls used to be. That would be fucking awesome. Yeah.

Octopussy meets no dick. Yeah. Zero dick. Anyway would be fucking awesome. Yeah. Octopussy meets no dick. Yeah. Zero dick. Anyway, thanks, Anne. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Cassie Craddick. Craddick. Craddick. The Chronicles of Craddick.

Nice. Craddick. Have we... This sounds familiar. Yeah. I'm going to... Have a Craddick. Fuck, we've done it.

We've done it. Okay. All right. Stricken from the record. Yeah, take it. to... Have a... Fuck, we've done it. We've done it. Okay. All right. Stricken from the record. Yeah, take it. Sorry, Craddick. Delete that. Delete that.

I mean, I was, you know, I had some... The gears were turning, but I mean, I've used all this juice before. Thank you to Patreon subscriber. Look, I've had some correspondence during the weekend. Look, I'm a fan of this. I'm very happy to cop this. People will say to me they haven't had their names read out before. It is possible.

Q-jumpers. Dirty Q-jumpers, the lot of them. Yes, but then there's also some people that say, look, we've been subscribing for a long, long time. Yep. And somehow in the randomness of the unplanned total alternator, their number hasn't come up yet. So I have to sort of program in a new algorithm just to, you know,

I know it's all random, but I just give it a... There are ways that you can sort of influence the software. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can just do a bit of search for, you know, some older, you know, make it a bit fairer. You take one line out of the code and then, you know, it sort of helps. It helps speed these things along.

You guys wouldn't understand. Yeah, yeah. I mean, we don't either. So, yeah. It just happens magically. So, we have – I did get a message from this subscriber's sister, I think. Yeah. So, here it is.

Thank you to Patreon subscriber Josh Martin. Martin? Josh Martin. Josh Martin. Josh Martin. That's a very straight-laced name. Real math teacher vibes, I think. Here's the message I got. Hello, Carl.

Sorry to bother you with your open text line. Just so we all know it's not an open text line, but anyway. But my brother, Joshua Martin, has been a Patreon subscriber since it was created. Wow. But he hasn't been read out during Talking Dumb Dumb because his email is set to Roshcast, a failed idea for a podcast three years ago that never got recorded more than one episode.

Okay, great. He's been waiting for his turn forever. Please can you put him out of his misery? I love it. Put him out of his misery? Yeah. So, look. I like that he's been on our Patreon since

I like that she said on Patreon since it was created So the idea that he's He's had money going into Patreon Since the dawn of Patreon itself And just been waiting for us to come along And catch that money He was subscribing to podcasts before podcasts were invented He was just buying shares in Patreon every month

Sooner or later this is going to pay off, he's thinking to himself. Well, I think, look, I know he's paid for us to read his name out, basically. And thank you to his lovely sister, I presume, I think it's his sister, for reminding us. You just read out that she said, I'm his sister. No, I said that was his brother. That was, the That was The quote is But my brother Josh Ramone

Has been Right right right You think it's a sister Because only a woman Would be capable of such kindness Yes And it says at the end Love you boys XO

And No one A boy can't do that To another boy Uh oh Uh oh Abort Abort

The laser's coming up Our dicks are gonna to get cut off. I mean, imagine. Oh, no. So, I think I would like, I know that Josh has paid to have his name read out here, but I'll put in a request back at him. Can we get our names read out on the Roshcast? Oh, bring it back.

Yeah. Bring it back. Bring just to do an episode of Talking Rosh cast and we get shouted out on it. Yeah, please. That's not bad. I'd love to get a mention on the Rosh cast. We're plugging it on here now.

There's going to be more ears on this thing than ever. Yeah. More than zero? Wow. That's a mathematical impossibility. Thanks, Josh and the Rosh cast. Shout out the Roshcast Big Rosh heads in here

You know what I'd like? I'd like someone to subscribe But to subscribe on our Patreon With their business name Yeah, yeah, yeah So it's just their mechanics or whatever it is I'm into that But more than happy

I can't believe no one's done that before Like a free shout out to their business. Yeah. The cheapest way of advertising. The cheapest advertising. Yeah. It's like 10 bucks a month. Yeah.

And you're getting, you know, you're getting a sweet piece of this pie. Yeah. And you get like a, it's not like a 30 second ad. It's like we'll riff on it for fucking five minutes. The name of your business being absolutely run into the ground. And sure we'll insinuate that you're up to all sorts of illegal activity. Yes, yes. I'm starting to see why no one's done this before.

There's no such thing as bad press. Yeah. If your company is already like, if you've already got a really bad track record. Yeah. If you've already committed like heaps of like, you know, human rights violations and stuff. Yeah. Well, then you're still going to come out favorably from whatever we say about you.

This can be like Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares. So you've got some shit joint and then he comes in and fixes it. Well, basically this is what happens. You've got nothing going for your business and then we read the name out and all of a sudden, boom. That would be a great show for you and me to front, Podcast Nightmares. Yeah. So it's us going in and we sit in on a podcast that's being recorded

and then it's like you see us just sitting in silence as the two hosts record it and then it gets to the end and it's just us going, what the fuck was that? You read out his name. You didn't even call him a fucking pedophile. We're just – we're fucking furious about it. They're pushing back. They're like, people don't – you know, we talked about pedophilia once.

People didn't want to hear it Shut the fuck up You idiot That would That would be a great show Yeah Please Please

I'd love that Channel 10 if you're listening And then Give us a crack on pilot week And then just like Just like Gordon Ramsay And if you look up

The history of Gordon Ramsay And all those places he fixes After that The podcast will immediately close Yes Yes Yes Not Not Open their doors again They have one good week Yeah And then they just all those places he fixes. After that, the podcast will immediately close. Yes, yes, yes. And not open their doors again. They have one good week and then they're just fucking done again.

I love it. I look up that all the time. I used to really like watching that show and then you look, there's Wikipedia pages that tell you exactly what happened to those restaurants. None of them ever come good. Especially like by the time then the show goes to air, the most exposure they're ever going to have.

So even if you did have someone off the back of it that was like, I'm going to go check that out. It's too late now. That happened a year ago. They had a good week. But there are often so many of those people you just go, you're just shit at doing that. Like no amount of being told once by some British guy to put your eggs

in the fridge is going to fix your 40 or something, your entire lifetime of having a fucked attitude about how to do things. Totally. If you've got a shit restaurant and you're not cleaning anything and you're making all the wrong stuff and then someone comes in and goes, hey, how about you don't take a shit in the sink every fucking day? Yeah. And it's like, well, you know that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just being told that because it's obvious, but you know that in yourself. You don't need to be told that. You've just got something. You're just being told that because, you know, it's obvious. But you know that in yourself. You don't need to be told that. You've just got something fucking wrong with your brain where you go, fuck it, I'll do it anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that show, man.

Yeah, I do too. That's such a great show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do love it. Shout out. I would love to go to one of those places actually. But anyway. You can probably find pretty easily online like which ones are still going.

There'd be like one or two that are still pumping. It isn't done in Australia though. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. I mean you would have to travel. Yeah, yeah. Depends how badly you want to go to a shit restaurant. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Thanks, Josh. See you, Josh. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Tyler O'Brien. Tyler. Is that the first Tyler we've had on this show? Maybe. I'm a fan of Tyler, I've got to say. Are you really?

As a name. Ah, fuck, we've had it before. Ah, there you go. Wow, this is a fucking bad week for the unplanned title alternator. Yeah, I've really fucked this up this week. Yeah. I really should have. What do you mean?

You mean the unplanned title alternator? Yeah, yeah. You know what? I've got to take all responsibility. Maybe it's that cleaning. You know, I said it looked a bit clean. Maybe it's like the fucking spray and wipe or whatever that you use is like seeped into the, you know, seeped into the wiring or something.

Made it go all funny. Made it go a little bit fruity, if you know what I'm saying. What do you mean? Well, I'm just saying it's not, you know, I'm just saying this needs to, we need to find a name that we haven't read yet. Okay. All right. I'll do that. What's it doing? a name that we haven't read yet. Okay. All right. I'll do that.

What's it doing? Thank you. I just hit the button. Okay. Another one coming out. I was just – yeah. Yeah. That's all.

And I was checking on the other bit of machinery we talked about at the start. The name numbers. Yeah. Do these two ones – do these two count that we'd already done before? Yes, sure. They do? No. So because now that means that we've done five.

Right. If you count those ones that we'd already read. But if you don't count them? Then it means we've done three and this will be the fourth Okay, right Well, it's up to your interpretation How many we've done so far That's the beauty of it

Yeah That is the beauty of this show The one beauty of this show It's up to Everything that gets said is up to interpretation Yeah If we say something really bad That's your bad

For interpreting that in a bad way Exactly If you interpret that as you needed to move tables at Rockpool, then so be it. Yeah. If you interpret a few things that we've said recently about underage people or whatever as a bad thing, that's not how we meant it.

Yeah. We meant… We're sorry that you got offended. Yeah. We're sorry that you heard what you wanted to hear. Yeah. Yeah. You freak.

We actually didn't even say it. Yeah. Okay. You just heard what you wanted to hear. Yeah. Yeah. You freak. We actually didn't even say it. Yeah. Okay. You just heard what you wanted to hear. All right. Yeah. So.

Name number, whatever number it is. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Travis Moore. Ooh. Please, sir. Yes. May I have some more? I've done this before. Right. I thought you were going to say, please, sir, can I have some Travis?

Right. No, that was good. I like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because Travis is the quote from the old thing. You flipped it. Travis. It's a travesty that we haven't read his name out before now.

Love it. Yeah. Love it. But thanks for the more money because we had less money before he checked in. The more the merrier. Yeah. Especially now that this guy's arrived with that big old fucking wallet of his. Yeah.

I would like to have fucked Mary Tyler Moore back in the day. Interesting. Yeah. Interesting. I would like to fuck Michael Moore right now. I'd like to go bowling for Columbine if you know what I'm saying. What are you saying there? I'd like to do a bit of 9-11 just like George Bush. you know what I'm saying. What are you saying there? I'd like to do a bit of 9-11, just like George Bush.

You know what I'm saying. What exactly does that mean? Like, exactly. I want to fuck Michael Moore. Right. But 9-11, you would like your dick to be the planes? Yes. And those sweet butt cheeks, the twin towers.

Right. You've got two dicks and you just want to hit both of his butt cheeks? Yes. Right. Yes. Okay. You don't know this about me, but I'm a first responder. Right.

I was the first person to have sex with a man after 9-11 happened. Okay. All right. I'm going to have to pull you up there. I did know about that actually. Right. Yeah. That's not true.

Because it was in the Bowling for Columbine documentary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was, you know, I was watching the, I was one of those people that stayed up all night and watched all the telecasts. Yeah, right. The telecast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right.

It was online and, you know, they had 12 hours to fill, so that did come up. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know you then, but when I first met you, I was like, this guy looks familiar. This rings a bell. This guy looks familiar from that footage I've masturbated to several times over the years.

This guy somehow seems like part of history and I can't quite put my finger on why. Guys, you know, we can hear the complaints very verbally right now and okay, you've bent our arm. Next week, the pedophilia stuff's coming back. Okay? You've seen what we get up to when we can't lean on that sweet crutch. You want to lean on someone's sweet crutch? Fucking hell.

Thanks, Tyler. No, wait. Travis. Thanks, Travis. Now, this is a travesty. This really is a travesty. You've made this fucking segment into a joke this week, mate. This has been, to my knowledge, this has been fucking inch perfect every week

and then this thing, this week you've dragged it into the gutter. This used to be thought of as the inside the actor's studio of podcasting and now it's solid, it's a good name. This was something that I used to play to my kids to get them to go to sleep. Yeah. And now I realise that I don't have any kids. Now the army fucking blasts this during hostage situations to try and drive people out of the shack that they've holed themselves up in.

They play it at Frankston shopping centres to make sure the ne'er-do-wells don't hang around the coals. Don't start bashing old women out the front of the station. Yeah. Yuck. So, and guys guys Hi to you guys If you're listening at the moment Any street thugs that listen

Shout out Disgusting Well look I'm in a bit of a mood today I'm on a tear I can't be trusted So I think we should just do one last one And then wrap this up Because I'm worried about what I'm going to say If you can't be trusted why So I think we should just do one last one. One last one. And then wrap this up.

Because I'm worried about what I'm going to say. If you can't be trusted, why would we do even one last one? Why wouldn't we just finish now? You think you can be trusted just a tiny bit. Because we've just done seven. We've just done seven. And you said we can't do that number again. So we'll do this and then it'll be eight.

But the number counter machine that I mentioned at the top, whatever I called it, because like I said, it's such an old piece of technology. The name's rubbed off the side of it actually, so I can't remember what it is obviously. But it's just come up and it's made all the calculations and it's come up with only a couple of numbers of amounts of numbers, amounts of names that we haven't done before.

Okay. The first one that's come up here is five. So if we don't count those false starts, we can do this last one. Okay. And then, yeah. Great. We can finally have done five. Yeah, let's do that.

Right. Then we'll have to just remember to cross five off. Yep. And, you know, make sure that we don't accidentally do this same number again. I'll cross that off later. Cool. Thanks. You could just do it now.

Yeah, I'm just in the middle of something. Yeah, yeah, cool. It'll take three seconds. I've just got to read this one out and then I'll do it. You could have done it in the time that you've been paying us for. I'll just do it after we do it. It just would be so easy to do it now. Can I just read this out and then we'll talk about it?

Sure, sure, sure. Thank you to Patreon subscribers. Okay. What? Are you crossing it out or not? No, I'm... What? Crossing what out? The number. I just What? Are you crossing it out or not? No. What? Crossing what out?

The number. I just don't want you to forget. I'm in the middle of reading out a highly unusual. I thought you were stopping to cross out the number. I'm reading out a highly unusual sponsor, Patreon subscriber. It's funny. We were just talking before about businesses. Okay.

It was funny. Here we we go thank you to it's it's like speak of the devil i was just saying that we hadn't had a yep a business name oh but here we go wow a business so this is a business name yeah okay um thank you to Patreon subscriber BigBlackDildosComedy. Right. Right, right, right, right. So – So – Huh. So I –

What? Now, I've heard of BigBlackDildos before. Yeah. I don't get how the comedy comes into it. I assume that that's the business name and then the surname of the person who runs it, I guess. So, wait. So someone's just started up a business and then decided They need to chuck Their last name onto the Oh it's probably

The way you fill out the forms Probably they've just got The name stuck on the end So yeah So that's like If you ran an electrical company It'd be called Chandler's Electrical Chandler

Yes What's the issue? What? Talk me through What the problem is No no problem Okay So I just got a bit

Choked up there Thinking about this business name Right About the comedy Yeah, yeah, yeah The comedy I just love You know

I just love comedy so much Okay You know, I can't get enough comedy That's not the business name That's the surname So get that out of here But that's in the business name The surname is in the business name

We're going through this I think that's just Anyway But hey I guess Thank you to Mr. Or Mrs. Comedy

That runs these Big black dildos Where are they located? I think you just put them Up Oh Where's the business located? Yes

Oh right It doesn't say that Okay How much do they chip in? $69 a month Great Money well spent Yeah

They're getting a good ad It's a shame that you don't have the address there So we can't There's no way to let people know What part of the world they're located in. There's the internet. That's the beauty of this thing, man. Just put big black dildos into Google. Yep.

And I'm sure you'll find an address. Yeah, a store near you. The first thing that'll come up. Yeah. Oh, they're a franchise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great, great. Well, you've heard of them before, haven't you?

No, no, no. I actually have – You've never heard those words before? This must be – maybe they haven't quite made it over to Australia yet. There's one of those things where, you know, they're just trying them out in some rural towns like, you know, sort of like Coffs Harbour and stuff. Sort of seeing how they go and then if they really catch on there,

like Carl's Jr. Yeah. Dildos. Carl's Jr. Dildos. Yeah. You know, like if, you know, that sort of took off there. Right.

They had them in a couple of airports and then they'll kind of expand into the rest of the country. Guys, well, you know, feel free to send us a few samples. You know, happy to – now that you're on board, happy to talk about them. You know, a lot of people send us like free stuff and whatever, so sponsors – so we're happy to cop a bunch of them. Yep.

Yep. I think this is – I think we're inviting some very dangerous stuff here from the listeners by saying this on the air, but sure. It can't be any worse than what our lives are now. All right, guys. Thanks very much for chipping in on Patreon. Sorry about whatever this one was this week. Patreon.com slash LittleDumbDumbClub.

If you would like to support the show, we greatly appreciate everyone who chips in little dumb dumb club dot com for tickets to the upcoming live shows and merchandise and all that kind of stuff thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time see you mates