The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 420 - Live! Mel Buttle, Brett Blake & Adam Richard

Episode Date: October 23, 2018

Brisbane has absolutely Done It Again, and so has our sound guy! We dragged ADAM RICHARD, BRETT BLAKE and MEL BUTTLE into the Triffid for a packed out, awesome show. We discover some new tattoos, insane conspiracy theories, recent heartbreak plus the Dum Dum legal department fights back AND we get deep on Talking Dum Dum! Don't forget, we have a bunch of huge live shows coming up:MELBOURNE: We're doing a huge live episode PLUS a roast! OCTOBER 27.PERTH: We're heading back for our annual huge day of stand-up and podcasting! NOVEMBER 18. For tickets, merchandise, links to our Patreon and heaps of other stuff, head to our website: littledumdumclub.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on The Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode recorded live in Brisbane with guests Adam Richard, Brett Blake and Mel Buttle. It's an awesome episode, but before we get into that, we've got to hype a couple of things that we've got coming up. October the 27th, which if you are listening to this hot off the presses is very, very soon. It is our big podcast live in Adelaide, but it's actually in Melbourne. There's huge special guests. It's a live unrecorded roast afterwards as well. It's going to be a fucking massive night, so get in. Then following that, November the 18th, we are in Perth doing our solo shows and doing a live podcast with some special guests.

Those are going to be two awesome shows. How are you feeling about it, Carl? Very, very positive. Great numbers for both of them, so it's going to be he awesome shows. How are you feeling about it, Carl? Very, very positive. Great numbers for both of them. So it's going to be heaps of fun. And this episode right now is a great example of how much fun it is to be at a live podcast. So grab a ticket to that and be part of what you're about to hear now, which is a nice big full house in a big stadium and three cracking guests.

You're about to hear Adam Richard, Brett Blake and Mel Buttle. It's going to be heaps of fun. Yep. We need to mention something about this recording, that for the start of it, my microphone is not in the mix. Oh, nice. Which is good stuff. So you, thankfully, the audience mic picked me up through the speakers

and we need to give a shout out to friend of the show and previous guest, Andrew Dudson, who's done some sweet mixing work on that. So I'm back in the game. And maybe we can talk about it in Talking Dum Dum, but some terse emails exchanged with the Triffid yesterday afternoon from me. So that was good stuff. Great.

It was fun to get home and discover. Very keen to hear about this. But, yes, sorry about that. But you can still hear me. You can still make out what I'm saying. But, yes, it's just for the start and then I come alive and so yeah enjoy this ripper episode recorded live in brisbane welcome into a little gumumb Club for another week. My name is Tommy Desolo, I'm saying this for the first time and we are here, live in Brisbane.

Sorry if this is shocking to you guys, just hearing it and you've never heard this information before. I'm about to drop another bombshell on you. Sitting next to me is the other half of the show, Carl Chandler. G'day Dickheads. Wow, that's... Is that deja vu? This feels really weird. Well, the intro music really killed this week. People got really excited about this. Yeah, look, it's a great vibe in the room. Thanks... Look, for everyone at home, Tommy fucked up and didn't put any batteries in the recorder, so we had to do it again. Shut the fuck up.

I had batteries in and had two bars, which I think the listeners at home will also agree, two out of three, that should be able to float through an hour. You know what? Energizer can suck my fucking dick, okay? I use those batteries in my personal vibrator and I'm able to get hours upon hours of anal pleasure and I can't handle a recorder for 15 fucking minutes. Fuck that. So when you use your vibrator, do you get two bars as well?

Yes, I'm going to go with two dicks. Remember that? Remember that dude? Do I remember that dude? Is that a thing? Yeah, the dude with two dicks. Do you know who that is? No.

What? People here know the guy with two dicks, alright? I was having a yes from the people from Brisbane. The people that voted in Pauline Hanson, they're well aware of it, yeah. It's almost as if he's wrong here. Yeah, you know, Pat and Finga. Yeah. Hometown hero, the guy with two dicks.

I said to the tech before the show, like, hey, if your recorder stops working for any reason, we'll need to restart the show. We'll stop, we'll pause and get it working. So if that happens, find a way to, like, get a message to us subtly in some way. His version of that was just marching down the stage. And grabbing the crowd mic and doing a rap into it.

We are at the Triffid. We are at the Triffid in Brisbane, which has got a round of applause before, but now people are over it. Which is fair enough. Fair enough. We've done three and a half hours before the battle. Yeah.

So it was very hard. We were studying again. People were fatigued. Yeah, man. I got married again. There was heaps of stuff that happened. It was fucking full on. But we are...

Is this like a bomb shelter? What is officially... This is an air raid shelter or fucking something? Well, as the architect, let me talk you through it. Go. Yeah, I don't know. It's not... Yeah, a big bomb.

Techie, you're such a fucking expert on batteries. How do you go from one to this one? What is it? It's an aircraft hangar. Shut up. I'm trying to hear you. Aircraft hangar. World War II era aircraft hangar.

World War II era aircraft hangar. So there used to be planes in here and now we're doing... Spitfires. Spitfires. Thank you. Luckily, lucky people at home didn't think it was just planes. Now they know fucking specifics.

Who would guess a podcast audience would have a very specific knowledge of parts of planes? Hang on. Can you smell autism? Now, I am a little bit worried about this gig because it's a great room, it's a great gig or whatever and a great comedy audience is basically for everyone to be completely in darkness so no one feels self-aware or anything

and they can just laugh at everything. But there's like one spotlight on that cunt up at the back of the room. Yes. Yeah. He did the piss sign, which made it that's him going, two, I knew that was two dicks. Oh, right, right. Oh, no, he's got four dicks.

So it's like, I know that you guys have been laughing so far, but I keep looking at that guy and he's not really that into it, so I can't help but judge the show off that guy. Yeah, I mean, he is as far in the back of the room as it's possible to be. Someone turned off a light, but it actually wasn't on him. So he's still... He looks like he's in an episode of Mastermind now, so... He's been slowly faded out.

He's still there. It looks like we're about to cross to him and he's going to do a solo or something, so... Sir, how are you? Are you enjoying the show so far? He just nods, which is great for a podcast. Well, he knows that we can see it. Yeah, I guess. You'll not be able to hear it from this distance.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fair enough, fair enough. It feels like he's the judge on a reality show and it's like it doesn't matter what the crowd thinks. We're just waiting for fucking Carl Sandlin's up the back to tell us if we're going to Sydney or not. He looks like he's in the Bohemian Rhapsody clip. Oh, yeah, yeah. Mamma mia, mamma mia, this podcast is shit.

Did you hear what he said? Yeah. Beelzebub is a lot funnier than you. Nice. Nice. Yeah. All right, cool. If this wasn't live, we'd be happy to spend 10 minutes kind of hashing that out.

Yeah. Well, it doesn't matter what we do now. It's not being recorded, so, you know, whatever. This is just an unrecorded live pod, guys. So we're going to have to fucking do another one this week somewhere else. Excuse me? Adelaide. Adelaide.

Hey, there's no need for offensive language. So there's someone here who came up to me in the break before. Now, we had a listener of the show who got a tattoo a little while ago. Yes. It says everything is Rick. And there's a gentleman who just came up to me in the break who showed me that he has a tattoo now that says everything is Rick.

But his one is written in comic sans quote. So sorry to that other listener. I'm sorry to say you've been out of dumb content. Is it these guys in the second row or so? Yeah. So why did you on purpose choose Comic Sans or did they just... You chose that on purpose.

It's very enthusiastic. Yeah, I did. Yeah. And the tattooists didn't reject it or anything? They were just... They were fine with that? So did you literally think, I want something to be as fucked as possible on my body?

Offend as most people as I can. You want to offend as many people as you can? You just wanted the worst tattoo you could possibly get of all time? Where is it? On your arm? That says everything... Oh, everything is... Right.

Have you had to explain that to anyone so far? Every single person. Every single person. How does your... So you just add in the belly like cow punching people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's a guy from the podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fucking low dog country. Yeah. He's from Cairns, someone just said, like that explains it. It's sort of. I love the hierarchy of people from Brisbane, he's from Cairns, you know. And how much did the tattoo cost? $69,000. Oh fuck, you fucked it.

Why? He gave you a beautiful fucking spike of the volleyball. I threw it in my head. I was like, it doesn't matter what he says. Yeah, yeah. What's wrong with you? You should be ashamed of yourself for so many reasons. You've got a reference from your favourite podcast tattoo and you don't even know the fucking text for it.

Yeah. Oh, man. So now the court is down. If anyone wants to out-dunk this gentleman, I guess you need to get everything written in like Wingdings font. Is that the only way you can go up from there? With a little Elvis microphone next to it. I think the next person has to tattoo their eyes to do the eyes I think that's the Yes Yes Mark it's so good to be on someone's body forever

like just someone visiting you in an old folks home and it's like what's everything is rigged well back in my day we had podcasts and uh before they were legally outlawed. Yeah. Oh, man.

How do you... That two in the eyes would be so good. Any SoundCloud rappers that are listening right now, next time you get some ink down on the old cheekbone, keep this in mind. Yeah. So what exactly is your explanation when people ask what does everything is Rick mean?

Because we're not clear either. Yes. That's what I said, doesn't either. So it doesn't make any sense. So you don't, you don't have an explanation to people. Have you got a girlfriend? You have a wife? And how does she cop it? She hates it. That's shocking. I don't know if you even saw that. No, she thinks it's the best thing I've ever done. Is it your only tattoo? No. What's your other tattoo?

What are we in the rear? I don't know what this is. What else have you got? Star Wars. Star Wars? Man, have you got kids? You don't have kids. Yeah, well, you've got a wife.

You're still a virgin. You can rip everything. You can rip everything. A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, I'll get another route. Fuck, you've got to start... What have you literally got on your other arm? Lots of different... The Star Wars logo in Comic Sans font. Fuck, I was so happy with you to start with, and now...

I don't like the Star Wars Dum Dum Club crossover. I don't like that fucking Venn diagram. I was so happy with you to start with, and now... I don't like the Star Wars Dum Dum Club crossover. I don't like that fucking Venn diagram. I'm not happy with it. If you listen to Star Wars, get the fuck out of here right now, guys. If you listen to Star Wars... I'm fine with that. If you put the movies on and then you just leave the room

and you just have the audio playing, that's fine. I'm fine with that. It's the original podcast in many ways. It's a visual podcast. Yeah, exactly. Like this. In many ways, we are Star Wars. Wow.

Yeah. We're warring to become stars and it never quite happens. Okay. Yeah. Well, you haven't seen it, so that's not the point. Oh. God, I wish I was a star. One day it'll happen.

Yeah. Isn't that it? Like, isn't Luke Skywalker just a really bad open mic-er? And that's what... That's what happens? I think he's, like, he's kind of the best open mic-er. Oh, right. You have to realise it.

Right. He's got, like, gold material. Right. And he has to, like, you know, go on, like, training with a more experienced open mic-er who teaches him how to, you how to do a duck sandwich. Ah. He uses the duck sandwich. Right.

I'm starting to like... I'm starting to enjoy this movie. I might get into it now, yeah. What if we got a tattoo of our own podcast? That's not bad. Yeah. What would you get? What's your favourite tattoo of our own podcast? That's not bad. Yeah. What would you get?

What's your favourite part of what we do? I would get, like, tramp stamp. Yep. Right above the little hiney. What, what, what? Excuse me? Get the tattoo of the two dicks. Of the two dicks.

Well, that only goes back about ten minutes in our podcast, so... It's it's not like a key piece of the show at this point You get to see if the guy with two dicks becomes Dun Dun Club Cannon But if he does then I'll get a tattoo of that man What just get a second tattoo next to your dick is that what that would be? I get a tattoo of just a man's face and people are like who's that? I'm like it's the man with two dicks Oh right right right right right You don't yeah

I'll tell you what I'd do I'd get like tramp stamp positioning It's the man with two hands. Oh, right, right, right. You don't, yeah. He's a spiritual god. Yeah. No, I'll tell you what I'd go. I'd get, like, tramp stamp positioning, and I'd get cursive writing that says, How Spurned. Oh, yeah. Right, I would, to be honest, if you're going to get How Spurned,

I would get it right there above your penis, just so if anyone has the opportunity to be there yeah they can answer the question themselves yes they deserve more than what you gave it because that makes sense it just makes sense no but I also I mean you know whatever sexuality is fluid oh cool man I just would like to leave that back there and you know if things change for me it's like a nice little, you know, nice little, you know, like the first male suit that I have

where I'm just like, oh, I forgot that was even back there. You know, I'm going with that. Yeah, all right. So do you think that's happening soon or...? What's happening here, Carl? Mine's also a tramp stamp. It just says everything is dick. So you're not.

So now you've come up with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, now I've realised, I've been talked into by the old fluid conversation. What a big laugh we'll have when we fuck each other one time. Yeah. It's been sexual tension for 420 episodes, so...

This is the 420th, isn't it? This is the 420. Yeah. Yeah. It's been sexual tension for 420 episodes, so... This is the 420th, isn't it? This is the 420. Yeah. Yeah. Are you sure you don't have the high ground? Are you sure you don't have the high ground? Is that what you said? Yeah.

I tried to give you a chance to change it, but... You've got to do over. Yeah. It's still 5-10. I... You've got to do over. Yeah. You still fucked it. I still don't know what you said. Yeah. We should... We're all yelling out, by the way.

No, you can do it. I just want to shit on you. So, yeah. We're so different. Yeah. The original odd couple. Man, we should do, like, full-on inject pot on stage. 420, man.

Yeah, right. Inject pot. Yeah, that's how inject pot on stage. 420, man. Yeah, right. Inject pot. Yeah, that's how you do it. Right, right, right. Yeah. We're like the Cheech and Chong of podcasting. Hmm. We're like the...

I think we're more like the Cheech and Herkler. You've never smoked a doobie, have you? Yes, I have, yeah. I thought you had that story once where you got off the drugs. Oh, yeah, when I was a kid. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and I said, I get my highs from sport. That is the definition of douche chills.

Like when you just go, oh, fuck, that's right, I said that. But Star Wars is mine hey he's not 15 he's not 15 that's my slight out when was the last time you smoked a job

what was the you know scenario oh no just oh you know what with my little friends I'm actually friends with people in a band called The Avalanches.

And, I don't know, man, you guys have got the exclusive. I'm not sure if I've mentioned that before. So, yeah, no, I... They play here. Have they? Yeah. Yeah, nice. Oh, why don't you talk about this, the message we just got before.

Oh, yeah, so this venue is, I think, co-owned by a dude in Powderfinger. And we had our poster up earlier, which I drew, which is like a bit of a riff on the cover of Internationalist. And he sent it to the Powderfinger guy, and he loves it. He wants a copy of it! What I mean is threatening legal action, because it's copyright, so I think we're in a lot of trouble. But he wants a copy of it, doesn't he? Yeah, he wants a copy. Yeah.

Which is funny that he wants to hang up a picture of me and you, people he doesn't know anything about. There's no context. It's just like a worse version of his cover. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some kind of who you don't know, who's paying money to be in in your venue did a drawing that looks like a thing you did 20 years ago. Sign me up. Yeah. Pay this in my kids' room.

Yeah. So this is what happened this week. I was at a bar and I got a... I'm off the menu. No. No. I had the ups and downs of being recognised from doing a podcast, which I loved, which is I went to the bar and I ordered a round of drinks

and went to pay for it and the guy goes, nah, mate, love the podcast. And just didn't let me pay for it. Got a free round of drinks. And I'm like, fucking, that's so cool. That's awesome. But then, same night, a lady came up to me and went, oh, my God, are you from Dumb Dumb Club? Are you Carl from Dumb Dumb Club? And I was like, yeah. And she's me and went, oh my God, are you from Dum Dum Club? Are you Carl from Dum Dum Club?

And I was like, yeah. And she's like, oh, I love the podcast. Love that time when you did a live podcast from Bali. And she was serious. Absolutely serious. I'm like, what the fuck did you just say to me? She's like, I love when you went to Bali. And I went, it was Thailand.

She's like, oh my God. And just left. But she was serious. Well, at least you got those free drinks. Yeah, no, that was awesome. And that's the only thing that happened to you? Yes. That's okay.

Because if that had happened first, you probably would have just gone home. Yeah. You would have fucked beer down. Yeah. You would have missed out on those sweet free drinks. Yeah, no, it was good. It was good. Should we... Should we get our guests out here? Yeah, maybe we should those sweet free drinks. Yeah, no, it was good. It was good. Should we...

Should we get our guests out here? Yeah, maybe we should get our first guest. Yeah, well, we've got an absolutely awesome lineup. A couple of people who've come in from interstate to be on the pod with us. We're very lucky to have these guys join us. First of all, please welcome to the stage our first guest, Brett Blay! Brett Blay! G'day fucking legends.

How are we? We're good, yes? Don't warm up our crowd. Fuck up. Anyway, I love this tattoo story, by the way. That makes me honestly laugh. Like the idea of you walking in and going like, Oh, hey, I've got this idea.

It's kind of weird. And it's called Everything've got this idea, it's kind of weird and it's called everything's Rick, I know it's kind of odd. And the bikey just looking back at you like, dude, I just tattooed a rat on a chick's pussy. This is the least weird thing I've seen today. You know? Yeah, move over the Millennium

Falcon, who gives a fuck? Jesus, how old are you, by the way? Fucking grow up, cunt. Star Wars is for 12-year-olds. Of course the one Star Wars reference you know is the thing that has Falcon in it. You understand. I'm from a Ford family. Thank you.

We don't drive Holdens. Holdens are for pussies. Anyway, yeah. Oh, man. It's a divisive thing in Brisbane, by the are for pussies. Anyway, yeah. Oh, man. Divisive thing in Brisbane, by the way. Apologise. Anyway, yeah. I feel like we've got...

Every time we come to Brisbane, I feel like we've got the good part of Queensland, though. Like, it feels like a shelter from everyone else because you see all the reports about Queensland and how they vote and everything, and it's like, I think we've got all the good ones in one room. Is that...? We've honestly got more limbo's in one room. Is that... Who the honest to God

bullying voters in here? Don't be a coward. Someone whack their hand up. Oh, come on. She's got some interesting points. I didn't say they were good. I feel like there might be a crossover of One Nation

and Dum Dum Club. There might be just slight... There has to be. They both feel very cultish. Yeah. They're both very uneducated. And have an insane leader. Yeah.

With bad hair. When I was doing my stand-up before, I mentioned voting yes in the platter side. I'm just in the city, but, like, a dodger bottle that's probably coming for me. No. Man, they're very polite.

Brisbane are very polite. Yeah, they didn't heckle you during your show. No. No, they're very polite. Brisbane are very polite. Yeah, they didn't heckle you during your show. No. No, totally. During your old man rants. Things that shit me. Traffic lights. Wi-Fi.

Anything that's not missionary sex. Just a list of old man activities. Fuck, it's like my dad having a crack up here, you know what I mean? You didn't see it beforehand, by the way. It was, they gave Carl the clicker that changes the slide and he's like, how does this work? It's called technology, it goes right or left.

He's like, oh, fuck it. Anyway, just blasting the poor sound guy. He's like, it's not my fault you're a fucking idiot. He started thinking he took the battery out himself. I was like, get some more coal down the back. We'll fire up again. Oh, they've turned off the light on the guy up the back. Nice.

Now we don't know what he thinks of the show. Hey, dude, how's it going now? Oh sick. He's come alive. He likes it. I'm pretty sure that wasn't him. I'm pretty sure he just nodded in the dark. Yeah he's moved a lot forward I have. Yeah. He's what? He's depressed. Oh, because he's in the dark. Yeah, we'll do the comedy, dickhead. I'm fine for them to do the comedy if they want to. Fuck, what blows me away in here is like, you know,

it's all dark and you can see everyone that's on their phone. And yes, I'm looking at you, sir. What is better online than this? Apart from most things Cats with lightsabers Yeah, for that guy maybe Someone's hard Anyway By the way, there's left up here

Some jerky Some crocodile jerky and some emu jerky You know, those classic references From the show Get a tattoo of them get a tattoo Tommy because now this is canon now that we've said it once who did that by the way

and what is the logic oh it's the tattoo guy go on tell us your shit the lord giveth content the lord taketh away. What was it? What was the logic? Just not going twice and not going three. Just the same logic that went into getting a tattoo of everything is rude.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you know, thank you. That's a nice thing to have done. Yep, and we'll take great pleasure throwing it out and never thinking of it again. Oh, no, I'm taking it by the way. It looks real nice. Eat it, you pussies. Eat it, you pussies. Okay.

Man, we're not brave enough to eat jerky. I'm sorry. I don't know what impression you've got of us but we don't just eat jerky. It's nice being bullied by people who look like... Anyway, too many words. Anyway, the thought was there. You thought this lady was for real.

You thought this lady was for real. It comes in multi-platforms. Whatever can't. That's classic Brett Blake being outsmarted from people from Queensland. He's insulting you, so fight him. Outsmarted from people from Queensland. He's insulting you, so fight him. You really are a fucking idiot.

Yeah. Can we talk about this? You've got... Hang on. Is it rough on you? Can we talk about this? What are you saying? I'm infected. Have you got a dyslexia STD from Bremblo? Can we talk about this? What are you saying? I'm infected.

Have you got a dyslexia STD from Breblo? Makes sense. I did root him. Anyway, yeah. There's a cousin of yours here who you haven't seen for eight years. Yeah, my cousin Mark's at the back. Is that him with the spotlight? Mark, give us a cheer.

Hey, that's my cousin Mark. Hey, good luck for Mark, everybody. So you haven't seen him in eight years so you've reconnected through this podcast? Yeah. Now he moved over here, he's like, he's real smart and stuff, he's like an engineer and does real well. I feel as though he's a gender relatively smart. Hurtful, but anyway we'll move on. No but he lives over here now and I hadn't seen him in ages and because the light was dim, I was like, that looks

like my cousin. I was like, yeah, but my cousin's fucking old. And then I couldn't see your grey hairs, but then when he came out the back, I was like, oh, that's definitely him. And yeah. But lo and behold, it's a family reunion here. Is his... What's his name? Mark.

No further questions. Mark no further questions back to the Star Wars guy anyway man get that tattooed on your arm Mark or should we give him his full name

just to fuck his career? Nah. Nah, he's actually doing real well. Let's just get like 10 new catchphrases out of this podcast and everyone gets a tattoo

at the end of the night. Yeah. No, we need one new catchphrase for every audience member. Right. So we need to get a couple hundred new catchphrases going.

Right, great. Over the next 40 minutes. Number one, jerky. Yeah. Jerky. Cool, dude. Yeah, thanks for helping us out.

All right, should we get a second guest? Our next guest out here, a very dear friend of the show, please welcome Adam Richards. Yeah. He doesn't know the show's on, by the way. That door's soundproof. Adam Richards. Good.

Get in here, you fucking idiot. You fucking... Oh, my God. Hang on. Fuck. Are you fucking idiot! Oh my god, hang on. Fuck. Are you serious? We flew this guy up and now he can't even be fucked listening for a cue for stage.

I was very busy having a chat at the back and every time I stuck my head around Blake he wasn't even on and I thought, oh fuck, I've got hours. What's been your favourite thing we've done so far? What, tonight? Why would I watch this shit? Two seconds. As an in-joke, we're waiting

how long his shit's on the podcast. We took bets backstage as to how long it would take for Adam Richard to hang shit on us, so... We all won, I think. I'm like your listeners. I also hate you. We talk about bumming each other in the church. Yay.

Yeah, but that's my personal life. We don't talk about that. Oh, you got out in church. Yeah, I'm like... Whoa,. We don't talk about that often. Oh, you got out into the show. Yeah, I'm like... Whoa, sorry. I'm like Joel Creasy. He's actually strained. Fuck, he's really good at acting.

That's your big... You're a Joel Creasy truther. I am a Joel Creasy truther. Yeah. How many men does he have to fuck before he can prove that he's gay? It's inside you. It's a thing.

How many men must a man come in before you can call him a... Anyway. Faggot, the word is you're looking for. Thank you. Faggot. Faggot. So what makes you think that he's straight? for. Thank you. Baguette. Baguette. So what makes you think that he's straight?

Sorry, is that the question? Did you dress up like a woman and fuck him like Bugs Bunny? That was how I knew. Very convincing in a dress. It was like the reverse crying game. The cumming game. No, my dick's very small.

If I got shot in a crying game, you'd be like, it might be a vagina. No, it's like, have you ever met like a closeted gay man who, when he's talking about women, go, oh, yes, she's beautiful. I think she's just, yes, oh, I really, I find her very attractive. And then talking about women go, oh, yes, she's beautiful. I think she's just, yes, oh, I find her very attractive. And then talking about men go, he's got very developed biceps. I think they're...

Creasy's the other way around. Like he talks about hot men, he goes, oh, yes, he's a dreamboat. And I'm like, no-one uses the fucking word dreamboat. And then one day he was talking about Emre Şihano and was going on and on about what she looked like in a dress and I was like, oh, you're going to have a very, very sad life in your 50s when you finally have sex with a woman.

And realise you should have been doing this all along. Is this a campaign? Usually people try to out someone. Are you trying to in Joel Gressley? Basically, he's taken all my work, and if we could just push him back in the club, Mumma will have more to do. Instead of having to talk about fucking Doctor Who everywhere.

Yeah, you won't have to come and do this shit anymore. He'd be busy. Great. Should we do Should we do some housekeeping Or get the next guest out Or what should we How should we handle this

Let's do Housekeeping Who wants housekeeping Great Great impression of a fucking Hotel hallway At fucking 10am Housekeeping

I'm free content keeping yeah let's do a bit of HK HK so what is what's in your crook little fucking mind it's Hong Kong

HK is Hong Kong I thought you were thinking like huge cock or something like that. I know the words, but that's the same. But still. Blakey is even stupider than he looks. That is classic Blakey though, thinking HK stands for huge cock.

I get it, HK. He's like tweeted that out before. I get it, HK. Our podcast, yeah. Very clever just using the initials. I feel like I'm getting bullied today, guys. If anyone... I'm surprised you figured that out that quick.

I think you sitting further away from us has made it a lot easier. I know. I'm over here. I'm like a victim all of a sudden. I feel like Star Wars over there. Nah, I'm cooler. Anyway, yeah. So, like, bit of housekeeping.

So, the whole Crunchy... Oh, Crunchy. Oh, Crunchy thing. So, if we know, quick round-up on that and the whole Crunchy thing. So, we as a people, we lost the competition. Thank you, everyone, for helping us to win the vote, the popular vote for Crunchy to win, to be the face of applause cat food.

How many votes did you get in total, by the way, out of curiosity? Man, thousands, heaps. Was it 5,000? Some of that, yeah. I find it funny that all you guys voted 5,000 times, but if you look at Carl and Tommy's individual fan pages, they only got about a thousand each. This is really fucking depressing.

They're like the cat or the car. Hey man, these people idolise us, okay? Lay off. Yeah. They're stunned by the first bit of negativity thrown our way. Yeah, they didn't applaud at all. Yeah.

Oh, here he is. So you're saying Crunchy is the Hillary Clinton of the cat world? Yes! Yes. I voted for her. Crunchy was out there dabbing with Pusha T in the lead up to the while her husband was like rooting dogs and stuff

I was like who did her husband go down on which explains the stains on the box anyway yeah wow

so look yeah look we're not going to get it back applause blocked me from their social media account. That's so awesome. Blocked.

Blocked. I'm blocked from Joel Creasy's social media account. Now, Adam, why do you think that might be? No, maybe because I keep bullying him. You know why? Because you're just not his type. No, I know. I don't have a vagina.

But you've got tits. Anyway. And they're amazing. Blakey wants to give me a pearl necklace. I can smell it from here. How is sperm? Don't get it in my beard, though. I don't want to get beard dandruff.

That was the highlight of my conversation with Adam Richards. He's like, I get a lot of beard dandruff. He goes, it's probably just cum. Yeah, we were talking grooming before. Personal grooming. Fucking hell, you need a lot of candy

to trick me, sweetheart. Fucking hell. Couple of morphines as well. Jesus. So if you see a man and he's got like, yeah, Dan, like some flecks all over the chest there, that's what that is? That's a bit of... That's dried jizz.

That's dried jizz. It's good to know. I know in your case... It's doing a bit of an inventory. In your case, obviously, self-applied. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool. I love coming on my own chin.

Should we... Look, I feel like we really need to get the next guest out. Yes, you're absolutely right. Let's get a girl involved in this conversation. About coming on our own faces. Folks, please welcome back into the Little Dino Club, Mel Buttle! Hi!

Yeah, better get a bit of a diversity included You'll get an email You've got a cock gobbler, a liquor and Blake The champion, you're correct Thank you Severe mental illness, god this is a woke show we're doing right now

It's a disability so thank you Thanks for doing it But Butto. Thanks for being on. Hey, you're welcome. A lot of memories in this place, Carl. Oh, really? Yeah, a lot of memories. Have you been fingered up the back door? Yep. Under the light?

Enough about Aunty Beverly. But, um... No, no, this. You'll love this, Carl, because you love marriage. This is the venue that I proposed to my now defunct ex-fiancé. Oh! Yeah, and you've brought me here like a dog you are. Also, could you have not picked a classier place? It's a fucking bomb shelter

Yeah Were you fucking piloting a spitfire Whereas you were like Getting down on bended knee? Well actually Thank you for asking No there was a band on That was like our song and whatever

But it's classic like Brisbane moment So I've just like Did you coward punch her at the end? Yeah a band on that was like our song and whatever, but it's classic Brisbane moment. Did you coward punch her at the end? Our sweetheart's part of the rules. And was the band Tattoo? I said... Tattoo. You do not know anything about lesbian culture, Tom. It was a

folk band, wasn't it? No, it was a cool band called Future Islands. Oh, yeah. Oh, dude, that's sick. I love that dude. He's fucking great. So I said, Sophie, put your rum and coke down, babe. I'm going to glass you.

I'm going to powder finger you. Pull your ring finger out of my ring. I'm going to slide finger you. Pull your ring finger out of my ring. I'm going to slide something else onto that. I'm going to powder finger you and get a bit of my happiness. You know, it was just up there, sort of up there near the bar where I did it. And classic Brisbane moment. As soon as I proposed, I was like, baby, you know, will you marry me?

And she's like, oh, my God, just crying, like hugging and stuff. A bloke comes up, puts his arm around both of us and goes, is girls having a good night, are you? I've seen this in a movie before. Go nuts. And then Sophie goes, oh, we've just got engaged. And he's like, oh, I use a bunch of fucking lasers. Heidi Puffters.

So special and romantic, Carl. Yeah. Do you have an alibi on that night, Blakey? Because that sounds a lot like you. Mate, I have culture. So you're now defunct? Yeah. No, I've got a new one already though

Fuck That's very lesbian Yes I'm glad you said it Because it's wrong if I do It's kind of you know It's what they do Yeah

Because we They meet in the queue at Bunnings Waiting for the sausages Which they then refuse to eat It's very strange Just two buns Just chucking the sausage out And licking the sauce off the bread Which they then refuse to eat. It's very strange. Just two buns. Just chucking the sausage out and licking the sauce off the bread.

They love a fried onion. Is that okay? Yeah. I don't know if that's okay or not. Yeah. And that's all good. I sat back for all the rest of it. I was like, this is deplorable what the boys are doing. No, I've got a good one.

I'm going in. Your little brain went, lads, lads, lads. I've got one. But you've got the haircut of our people, Freddie. I am from Perth. We're a lot like Brisbane with our fewer youths. So, yeah. Yeah.

It's a nice place here. No, it's a beautiful town. Thanks for coming. Thanks for. So, yeah. Yeah. It's a nice place here. No, it's a beautiful town. Thanks for coming. Thanks for having me, man. So, um... And you have less facial hair than most lesbians as well. What are you doing, nads? What are you doing?

Last time we were on the pod, we were talking about your then-girlfriend, your then-fiancé. The ex. And I said, I made the big quote, number one hottest partner in comedy. Yes. Yeah, not anymore. Not anymore.

No. No. Well, she might be someone, she could hook up with someone else in comedy, I'm sure that's not... Joel Creasy? He loves it! No, Joel's, no, a lot of gay guys like boobs, though. Yeah.

Like, a lot of them have a bit of a fascination with... Joel wouldn't know what to do with a pussy. Come on. He would. I've had a threesome at Joel Christie's house. Really? Yeah. Yeah, not with Joel involved.

Just, like, in his spare room. He's just subletting out an orgy room. Yes. A lesbian orgy room. Yes. A lesbian orgy room. And I had to ask him nicely. I was like, Joel, is it? Sorry, there's someone standing outside his apartment door. I was like, do you mind if we have a friend over?

He's like, yeah, go for it, go for it, go for it, go for it. And then, yeah, someone comes in and we rooted at Joel Creasy's house and I hope he listened and learned. Oh, he was listening. Yeah. He nearly knocked a hole in the wall. Oh, so you're fine with that but I say pussies? You're like, no, walk away.

Fucking cowards. Yeah, I don't think when you say to someone, hey, do you mind if I have a three-way in your spare room, they don't just go, yeah, righto, no, no, sleep mask on. Yeah. So did he ask for... Was it after this happened, was it weird with Joel at all or...? No.

Well, the next day he, like, insisted on taking us to a very specific place for breakfast. But then Joel's a lady. He didn't ask a single fucking question about it. He didn't need to because he's got a camera. He's already seen it seven times that morning. Joel's not straight, Adam. He is.

He's a closet case. It's terrible. This should be the topic of the great debate at the comedy festival next year. Yeah, this should go into question time in Parliament. I do work at the ABC. It could come up. Like any email you send can legitimately be brought up in Senate estimates. Cue an anal.

can legitimately be brought up in Senate estimates. Q and anal. I'll take that as a comment. You're no longer with onesie. You're no longer with number one in comedy. So you're straight back into another relationship. Poor choice of term, but yes. How long was the gap?

Oh, the gap was not very long. It was about... 11 minutes? 12? Yeah, yeah. Now, I got dumped, downloaded Tinder, did a few swipes, was on a date within two weeks and then within another two weeks we decided that we were each other's girlfriends. So, speedy. Did you get a bit

of male attention as well? Oh, I went on a date with a man but he went mental. Classic them. Yeah, so I was like well, you could have turned me but no. How did he go mental? He thought I unfriended him on Instagram or something

and then just blew up my Facebook inbox and he was like, nice story, mate. I was like, don't fucking... You want to go, can't I go? Don't nice story mate me. But we only went on one date and at the end of the date he tried to kiss me and it was gross

and he rubbed his dick on me I was like, yuck Well, if you are turned off by a man kissing you and a penis then maybe men aren't for you Yeah, no, I don't think they are but I just wanted to check back in

Just recalibrate I was like, oh, no, still prefer that sort of... Your registration. Yeah. Sorry, can you explain that? I'm very confused. There's a few moves I've never seen before. You just let me know which one's good.

Let the people at home know that she did the finger finger signs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So when you were having your orgy, that must have been dexterous. Dexterous? Well, Adam... Is that how it works? Adam looks like he's doing Dance Dance Revolution right now. So you did a bad impression of Shooter McGavin?

I only know how to do this one. Let the people at home know that Adam was putting fake dicks into his mouth. Yeah, when there's silence for a couple of seconds, guys, rest assured, some kind of penetration act is being mimed. Some classic Charlie Chapman shit is going on. Yeah. He says the hat and the cane has gone directly into the arsehole. Anyway, so... I'm Marcel Marshole. yeah he says the hat and the cane it's going directly into the arsehole anyway so

I'm Marcel Marsehole alright now who's getting a tattoo of that that's the one that is the one you've got there's space in between fucking Boba Fett

and R2-D2 wait for someone who doesn't like it, you certainly know a lot of characters there. Mate, hey, I know what happened at the concentration camps. I wasn't there. Debatable. Purely based on the age. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wasn't there, but still thoroughly enjoys the imagery. Oh, wow. You get to know things without being there, you know? I've got a knowledge of things. Yeah, I can't believe

you know the character R2-D2, you fucking freak. That's what he was saying. Hey, look, quick little update. I should say this. What we were going on

to before, cat competition, like we were saying. Crunchy lost the competition. Applause. Banned me from Facebook, from all his social media, all that sort of stuff. So the last time I emailed them, I did threaten them with legal action. I've got a two-part plan now. So what I am doing, first part is I am releasing my own cat food tonight

tonight here at the Triffid at the Brisbane Live podcast I've got a bunch of examples I've got them for sale after the gig so I've got officially the new line of cat food eating pussies

with crunchy as the face I must I have to underline contains no glass shards at all. That's the eating pussy promise. Fuck, yeah. They're going to sue the pants off you for that. It comes from the Little Dum Dum Club Food Corporation. It's an arm of what we do.

So I'm going to be selling a couple of, you know, some of them at the end of the show. I'm happy to hand out some free samples right now so you guys know it's for real. That's what you do, you get them hooked so that they... Yeah, exactly. I just chuck them out. There you go. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that's a good idea. This is wise. Yeah, there you go. Just chuck out a can in pitch black that weighs a kilo. That won't kill anyone. Are you up to date on your public liability? One more, one more, one more. Jesus Christ.

Oh, my God. Wait till Bert and Fatty and the boys hear about this one. Is that legal? Can I do that? I hope you're up to date with your public liability insurance. Yeah, I love that you had three cans of cat food in your pocket and I didn't even know. I was like, oh, yeah.

Yeah. I thought he was just really enjoying the podcast. Yeah. Just must be what it looks like. It has been a while for you. So we've got that for sale. We're now taking on the... I really wanted it.

I really wanted it. Oh, you can buy some. You can buy one. Sorry? I just really wanted the cat food. You just really wanted the cat food. Well, like I said, it's for sale after the show, buddy. So, you know.

Yeah, they also sell burgers out here, champ. And I'm also selling emu jerky and crocodile jerky. It's going to be a real free-for-all out there later on. It's spicy crocodile jerky. Yeah. So that's one part of my plan, is to take them on, take their business away from them. But the other plan, of course, is still the legal action.

So I've employed the only unbeaten lawyer I know in the business. Which is Brett Blake. Ladies and gentlemen, I normally don't do pro bono work, but... Oh, I do. I'm very pro bono. That's pro boner. Oh, sorry. Well, last time I did a live one, I was seven court victories.

I have now taken it to a total of nine, so thank you. The king. Here's to the little people who don't know what's going on, but have a crack. Anyway, we're going to throw a party for you when you inevitably hit double digits, once you get the big 10. Well, to be honest, I forget to count things But it might have already happened But anyway But I've actually I've actually What did you do

Hang on How did you win What did you win On the last couple of Well so the last time I don't know if you remember The last live one I think it was Hamish Blake

That Clown We get it You know people We've all got stuff going on man Yeah Well you called me on the podcast Two minutes before it started

But anyway Really bad side of my career Anyway It was the last one It was the last one Anyway, the last one was somebody broke my motorbike. A person jumped on it, so I've sued them officially, and I've won, so that's one. Oh, you sued them? Yeah, well, they bailed out the last minute before the court case.

Oh, nice. So they paid up the money, which was nice. Hang on, Brett. Did the legal cost to recoup that money, did that, was that more or less in the... Are you asking, did I charge myself money? No. No, of course. I didn't

charge myself money. He represents himself and he just gets legal advice from a listener of this podcast for free. Well, no, I very loosely listen to him as well. He's too many words. Anyway, wrap it up, champ. You know what I mean? Comedy's all about timing. That's a good point.

Judges are always saying that. Too many words, mate. Get on with it. Well, that's what they'll be saying on Trial by Kyle, I'm pretty sure. And then I got a red light one and two parking fines during a comedy festival, which I successfully got off as well. How do you get off a parking fine?

You have to wank it really hard. Oh, sorry. I don't know what we're talking about. Well, Carl, some of us, the parking fine, I parked there illegally because I was rescuing an old lady. May or may not have had a heart attack.

And I saved... Fuck, this is the sort of legal counsel that eating pussy needs. Yeah. Saved a life and... Anyway, that's a true story. It definitely happened. So, did you have to sign a stat deck or...? No, they don't get to that stage.

They're cowards. Okay. They're cowards. They send me one thing and I send them the thing and they go, let's go to court. I'm like, see you there. I've got heaps of free time. I've got nothing going on.

That's why I'm here. And then we go to, normally before the court case starts, they come up with a deal or they'll withdraw. Yeah. Because they don't want to... Because I think it costs them like a thousand bucks. I don't know. It probably costs them like a thousand bucks to be in there.

Yeah, probably a thousand bucks. Yeah, it's a thousand bucks. They've heard it. It's like when you rock up to a fight with Conor McGregor. You know what I mean? You're not feeling confident. You want to get in there. I've got my belts on.

I'll get no respect there. I'm saying I'm a champion. What are you fucking talking about? I'm a champion. I'm undefeated. Okay, right. McGregor's been defeated.

Anyway, that's not the point. So, you're better than Conor McGregor is what you're saying? Essentially, yes. I will fight him

on the next appearance. Yeah. So, I've gotten you as my lawyer, but I was talking to you earlier about your school days Because I'm checking up on how your schooling is If you're going to be my

Because you didn't quite go through law school did you You were telling me You started telling me something about how Your school is worked and you weren't Exactly in your classroom Or something I took a roundabout way of schooling I was in special needs Your classroom or something? I took a roundabout way of schooling.

Oh, yeah. I was in special needs. Were you really? That surprises me. Yeah. Rude. Anyway. HK.

I was in a special needs program for a long time. But what was your special need? Oh, I can't read very well. Yeah, that is special. And then my reading comprehension is very bad. And then I had a lot of... Well, my cousin's here, so I can't lie. I had a lot of behavioural problems. That's all fresh information for me.

You also, you can lie just because your cousin's here. He's not going to stand up and go, objection. Well, we've got a long line of lawyers in our house. Or wannabe ones. Yeah, they, well, I said, what happened, the story you're trying to get to, which is very, thank you, was they removed my school desk for a whole semester from inside the classroom to outside of the classroom for eight weeks. So you spent a semester learning out in the garden?

Yes, and I feel like I learned as much as I would out in the garden as I would in the classroom. They're like, just get this fucking idiot out of here. You know what I mean? Like, they had no faith in me. He's incapable of learning. I got a lot of sunburn that year. Outside. So you're trying to study maths and people are playing

down ball around you and stuff like that. It wasn't during the lunch breaks. It was during class time that I'd have to pick up my desk. When class started I'd have to pick up my desk and put it outside. Every day of your school life you had to pick up your desk and put it outside. That would have been socially humiliating for you. Dude, it was fucking sick.

I didn't have to do any work and I was unaccountable. I had the best time. I did like seven pisses a day. It was sick. I went to the water fountain. I was like tapping on windows to other classrooms, just disrupting people. G'day, legends.

What are you guys doing? Learning nerds. It was sick. I had the best time ever. They brought me back in. I was annoyed. That's illegal now. I don't think you learnt what you were meant to learn out there

you can't actually you put me out in the jungle right now I'll probably live a week bring back the cane I reckon I actually did get the cane I used to go to a private school

a private school and I was one of the last children there to get the cane really? yeah I released two hamsters into the wilderness, or two guinea pigs. Oh, man.

And then I climbed up some lattice, and anyway, you weren't a fan of that. And, yeah. Do you have a diagnosis, Brett? Yeah, ADHD, dyslexia, and mad cuntry. Mad cuntry. And then when the doctor diagnosed that, he gave me a shaka. He's like, yeah, dude, this guy gets it.

I actually used to teach special ed, and I taught a lot of wonderful young people like yourself. I always like, I think the Simpsons nailed it. They're like, how are you meant to catch up when you're going slower? You never get there. Yeah. I taught so many kids who had ODD, which is New and Oppositional Defiance Disorder. What the fuck is that?

It means you don't want to do things that people tell you to do. I was like, fucking same, mate. I've got it as well. I don't want to do it. Just call being a rebel, dude. Just embrace it. But I got outsmarted by a girl that had special needs and that's when I knew I had to

quit. That girl should be a lawyer. I was like, oh, I'm 30 and this girl in year 7 who, with an intellectual impairment, just fucking tricked me into giving her $2. I might need to get out of the game.

Yes. Fuck, does Greg Fleet have a disability as well? Very strong, yes. Oh, my God, have I told you my Fleety story? Please do. Spill, babe. So a friend of mine barracks for North Melbourne, or kangaroos, whatever they are.

In the AFL? Yeah, in the AFL. And so he and Fleety occasionally talk to each other on the Twitter about the football. You sound like Carl. So they don't know each other, though, do they? They've never met. And he also doesn't know that this is a friend of mine.

He doesn't know that we have any friend of mine. Like he's, you know. Right. Like doesn't know that we have any kind of friendship or relationship or anything. And so Fleety one day has asked him if he can borrow $50. Fuck, inflation. Used to be $20. If he can come to the city and drop it off to him at the train station and he'll give it back on Monday.

And I'm like, what the fuck are you doing, you idiot? And he goes, no, no, no, it'll be a fun story. So he's gone to lend him 50 bucks. And I'm like, oh, my God, you can't give a junkie money. He could die. It's a story everyone has as well. I know. We've all got that story.

Not that I've ever given him any money. Haven't you? No I got nervous once lending him a comic book It's going to get crazy So you should get nervous because that makes you a nerd I'm happy about it I'm under a fucking Doctor Who show

I'm fine with being a nerd So yeah, excuse I So yeah, he's gone to give him the 50 bucks And I said, oh when did he say he'd give it back to you? He goes, oh, Monday. And so, as the week goes by, I went, have you heard from Fleety? Like, every day I rang him. Have you heard from Fleety?

Have you heard from Fleety? He's like, no, I'm very shocked. This is so surprising. I haven't heard from him. So, then I got onto Twitter. I was like, Fleety. I was just like, has anyone seen Fleety? My friend.

He said he was going to give my friend 50 bucks last Monday and he hasn't heard from him since and I'm worried something terrible has happened to him. So then suddenly everyone on Twitter is going, oh my God, I hope Fleety's all right. Is Fleety okay? And Fleety's like, all right, I'm back on the gear. That was a very funny way of outing him to go, he's missing.

It's like, he's not missing. He's not missing. He's just having a good time. He's on the nod at the Collingwood train station. He's on the nod. Just like fleeting out. For the listener at home, he's doing the jacking off dicks thing again. He's sleeping into a big car.

He's doing the fleety eyes. So, Brett Blake. Brett Blake is going to be the official lawyer of the Dum Dum Club when we take on the Applause Corporation, Cat Food Corporation. Hold the applause, but I've actually, I don't know if you know this, but I've actually scanned through the legal documents

that, what was that terms and conditions yes there's a huge word in that to be fair terms yeah hey I'm happy you didn't say sorry there's a lot of people laughing but how many of you people have won any oh yeah fuck off anyway uh I've scanned I've read the thing alright, someone sent me an email, whatever or it was a text, it doesn't matter, anyway I've looked through the stuff and I've found the terms and conditions, the T's and C's, yes I've found a few little flaws

oh so we're going to hear applause we're going to hear what might happen in court is what's going to happen here so actually I have a better document which if I were to, I mean you've elected me now

so I've actually gone through everything meticulously with a fine tooth comb. So this is going to be victory number 10 in court hopefully. Or 12, I can't remember. Anyway, it doesn't matter. Can you be dyslexic with numbers? I'm not sure. Yeah, you can. Yes, you can. It's called dyscalculia. Oh, very nice. And don't laugh

at me because you always make me Read things on here But I've prepared You've got your You've got your reading glasses Coloured glasses Help me read Anyway

Oh The special glasses Fuck off Where'd you get them Brad? Are they prescription? Yeah they were from a chemist Were they? In the twelve dollar rack

Anyway Someone told me Coloured glasses help They help me They do Yeah, they were from a chemist. Were they? In the $12 rack. Anyway, yeah. Someone told me coloured glasses help. They help me. They do. Or purple printing on purple helps with dyslexia. Thank you, Mel. I'm so glad you're here. It's okay.

And welcome. Thanks for coming. Thanks for having me, man. You certainly do look more disabled wearing those glasses. I would have gone with sexy, but whatever. Anyway, my opening statement, just a bit of silence please and a little bit of respect. We're in a courtroom, so anyway.

Yes, Your Honour. Thank you. Your Honour, I draw your attention to the applause cat competition terms and conditions. Yeah, I fucked up the first word. Fuck off, you cunt. I will find you and I will kill you. Brett, Brett. The jury don't really like that sort of talk.

Well, the jury's never been coward punched, so shut your fucking mouth. Brett, settle down or you're going to have to do your address from outside, okay? That's how I win them all the time. They just kick me out Like what do you dogs want from me Also I apologise

Anything that happens after this Applause The cat competition Terms and conditions I draw your attention to clause 4.5 4.5 The entry must not contain Any material or content that is infringing, threatening, false, misleading, abusive, harassing, defamatory, vulgar, obscene, scandalous.

I'm fucking nailing this, by the way. Just so you know. I'm going to get a pair of those glasses Those glasses Fuck Dude I can see everything Including your little dick

Anyway Nah I'm sure it's good Anyway Wait where was I? Obscene Scandalous Inflammatory Portographic

Profane Or otherwise Objectionable Yes Scandalous, inflammatory, pornographic, profane or otherwise objectionable? Yes. That's great, Brett. Keep going. Keep it up. Good work. Really well done.

Sounded out. Man, I nailed it. So I should get a red skin. That's how special it works. We'll see how you go at the end of the lesson. And I say to the judge, it must not contain pornographic material. How can a picture of a cat be pornographic? Unless your little dick gets hard at looking at cats.

I'm so sorry. Your Honour, I submit to you, the head of applause.....fucks cats. Fuck. I'm pretty sure this is how they got OJ. OK, that's one. That's a language warning. Mark, can you please not tell Mum I said all this? Anyway, er... Family?

I think you've become defamatory. Well, if I knew what that word would mean, I'd have a rebuttal. So I'll just go with fuck up cunt. I now draw your attention to clause 4.8, which we can all agree is the most important one. 4.8, you must not upload, post on social media or send any content which might disturb or damage

the promoter's website or reputation. Your Honour, I contend that the defendant, the Little Dum Dum Club could not have damaged the reputation of a company whose boss has already been proven to fuck cats.

The only thing they could do by putting a picture of beautiful Crunchy on the tin would help the company's image. And no doubt, the head of applause would jack his little dick over crunchy. Oh, I'm so sorry, Mum. And finally, in closing statements, I draw

your attention to clause 4.9. Why do I do this? I'm just creating a fire pit for myself. Anyway, yeah. The promoter reserves the right in its sole discretion to disqualify any individual who the promoter has the reason to believe has breached any of these conditions

or engaged in any unlawful or other improper misconduct calculated to jeopardise the fair and proper conduct of this promotion. And upon entry of any particular sexy pictures of cats, the promoter reserves the right to rub his little dicky until Thailand's most popular drink semen comes out. Your Honour I submit that applause are guilty of wanting to root cats and the little dum-dum club are only guilty of doing it again. We ask for damages up to six applause, cat water bowls. Case closed.

See you, mates. Wow. I feel pretty good about that. That's a strong defence. That is very good. That's rock solid. Yeah, it's watertight. Yeah.

Fuck, I'm looking forward to those water bowls. I feel like I've won. Yeah, man, that's great. Man, that was a big effort for you to read all that stuff. All that reading. Man, I honestly feel like I've just fucking run 40 kilometres. There's a lot of like... Why do lawyers have to use so...

Anyway, so many words. Brett, would you be drawing on the principles of torts, torts law at all, with this? 100%, yes. That and the vibe of it. Yeah. Fucking F4! But if the Dum Dum Club are suing,

aren't they the plaintiffs, not the defendants? Yeah. Look, Adam, you got a little of good points, but I've got another one that's called Shut the Fuck Up. All right, guys, we've got to wrap it up for another week. Big round of applause, Adam Richard. Thank you. Mel Bowen.

Brett Blake. Guys, thank you so much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you next time. And they've done it again. Have we done it again? How much did you do it again? I did it again on the night. It's difficult to ascertain at certain points just how much I done it again. Have we done it again? How much did you do it again? I did it again on the night. It's difficult to ascertain at certain points just how much I did it for.

But no, I did it again. Right, okay. I was doing it again. Right. I think I did it again to such a good extent that you can still hear how much I'm doing it again. So is your mic fucked for the whole thing? No. Right. it again so is your mic fuck for the whole thing no right so i don't know how this i don't know

what this is but like i'm not i'm not my mic isn't coming through the recording until about 15 minutes in and all of a sudden it's just there great so i emailed our tech and said man this is fucked what is this and he goes oh yeah that's weird if it makes you feel any better the desk that we use has been playing up a bit recently so we're gonna send it in to get repaired on friday like oh cool we'll just come back up next saturday and do another one then great well that makes that makes me feel better about the fucking huge fee that we paid yeah oh it's all been expressed over email don't you worry about that are we getting a discount what's going on i? I'm going to push for it. Yeah. I'm definitely pushing for it. Yeah, really, really fucking irritating stuff.

I've been in a fucking mood all night and all day, dreading coming in and having to report this back to 50% of the shareholders. Good shit. Well, just as well I never listen to it. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, who cares? Like people at the end of the day, it's just their least favourite part of the show isn't in the mix.

So who cares? Well, that's a shame. It's a shame. But you can, you know, it's fine. Whatever. It was a great day. All the guests on fire. We hadn't done a proper live one in a long time.

And this was... Felt good. We were back. We were back, baby. Yeah, felt like we'd never been gone. Some great riffs. Some great, great as always lots of planned stuff and then just some absolute gifts in the room that give themselves over to about 20 minutes of content that makes you wonder why you're even bothered writing anything at all yeah especially when you don't get to do the thing that you wrote yeah yeah we did put a bit of work in but But anyway, that was a very fun – and also, man, once again,

I can't express enough, Brisbane. Now, Brisbane has done it again. Brisbane are fucking awesome. So not only did they turn up in droves, they were red hot. Yeah, a great day. We did the stand-up shows beforehand. They were super fun. Yes, and then after this, we went and we did a little bonus something.

We went and recorded a Patreon episode. Yeah, so what we did was for all you Patreon subscribers out there, if you're aware, you can chip in and you'll get a bonus something. We went and recorded a Patreon episode. Yeah, so what we did was, for all you Patreon subscribers out there, if you're aware, you can chip in and you'll get a bonus episode, you'll get a bonus magazine. What we did was we recorded a bonus episode that you're about to be emailed out if you do subscribe. What it was, was the official Koh Samui International Fringe Podcast Festival that we held out the back of a Thai restaurant slash bar in Milton in Brisbane. Yeah, now we organised this and is this the first place that you could say in the world, I think we might be the only ones to do this,

where the directors of the main arts festival are also the directors of the Fringe Festival? I don't think that really happens anywhere else. Yeah, I'm not sure. Yeah, look, I'll look that up. I'll definitely look that up. Yeah, check into it. Yeah. I'll look right it um no so that was that was a heap of fun um and that was a that was a place that we went to because a listener on twitter just added us into it where

there was some sort of tweet saying oh this bar the tuk-tuk bar it's called um it's yeah it's called temple tie the restaurant but it's called the tuk-tuk bar the actual bar that's next door to it yeah go to the and go yeah go you i think you'll have to put temple tie into maps but go to the tuk-tuk bar yeah like temple tie is just like a restaurant pretty straightforward stuff but the where we were the temp the tuk-tuk bar yeah it's sick yeah it's really good it's it's like yeah it's really trot there's like plants and shit everywhere it's mostly outdoors but still undercover if it rains which it did right before we did our show. Yeah, it was great. Yeah, it was very fun.

And the people there were lovely and a bit off their head, but they were lovely and they looked after us. Well, I think they were just setting a precedent that the guests and hosts of the podcast then kind of followed through on in the recording that you Patreon subscribers will get to hear probably about 75% of. Oh, really? Have you heard of that? Have you heard that?

What do you mean? Have you listened to it yet? I haven't listened all the way through, but it got loose towards the end. I think there's a couple of things. Sorry, when you said you'll hear 75%, I'm like, did they turn another couple of mics off in this one as well? No, no, no, that one's perfect. Oh, great.

Yeah, the recording of that one's perfect. Great. Shout out to Nick Carr's cousin who came and did tech. Steve. Steve. Steve Carr. Nick Carr's cousin who came and did tech. Steve. Steve. Steve Carr. Nick Carr's cousin Steve. Is that sort of like Dork Jones, the one year old that lives next door to you? Yes. Right. Yes.

Steve the audio tech. The 30 something year old man who lives on the same family tree as Nick Carr. Yes. Right. Yeah. No, that was a heap of fun. So if you're a Patreon subscriber, look forward to that. That gets very, very loose. And thank you to everyone who came down and did the big quad that day, sat through the two stand-up shows, the live pod, and then backed it up with the bonus one that we did.

What a mammoth day. Yeah. And also, thanks to everyone that turned out in their hordes to buy merch off us, sold a lot of shirts, and we also sold a lot of, and we haven't mentioned this, but we made the debut sale of our new, brand new bit of merch, which is a stubby holder or as you would, or some people call it a stubby cooler. Yeah.

Now what is that? Is that a regional, is that like a scallop thing where it's like, or is that just some people, you know, there's no rhyme or reason. I certainly got the feeling that Brisbane called them stubby coolers. Yeah.

Maybe Perth called them stubby coolers. yeah maybe perth called them stubby coolers i don't know how i i mean it it does keep it does keep it a bit cooler for sure but it's by no means a you know foolproof you know what i mean it can only do so much but holding it it definitely does that it definitely wraps around your stubby. Yep. What do you call a stubby holder overseas? Like in America? Yeah. It's a beer cozy, isn't it? Is it? Cozy doesn't sound like an American word.

Sounds like an English word. A lager cozy. Guys, call in. Bring it now or forever hold your peace. If we were on the radio right now, the switchboard would have lit up Cozy. Yeah, what? Guys, call in. Ring in now or forever hold your peace. All right. If we were on the radio right now, the switchboard would have lit up, but just angrily people going, it's called this, you fucking idiot. Yeah, totally.

People are gnashing their teeth as they listen right now on the train. And you know what this means? Of all the things to comment on in the episode, here comes a fucking Facebook thread in the People Aware group about this topic. Yep. It's someone. It's me fucking ale mitt. That's what we call it here in Mackay. Oh, sorry.

Sorry, Mackay. Yeah, so anyway, they're heaps of fun. It's a great product and what we're going to do is we're sort of slowly going to stagger it out. We're sort of just selling them at live shows but at the moment what we've worked out is we're selling them as a combination online with t-shirts yeah i think that's what we're doing straight away if you listen to this episode uh straight away by now it'll be up on sale um they're not for sale individually they're for sale with a t-shirt um just because we're just trying to find out the cheapest way of selling them individually because it seems like the cheapest way at the moment is a little bit expensive well posted you mean yeah we know how to we know what selling them individually because it seems like the cheapest way at the moment is a little bit expensive. What postage you mean?

Yeah. We know what selling them the cheapest way would be. Yes. Make them one cent. Yes. It's the postage that we need to work at. The postage. Yes, exactly.

Yeah. So yeah, for now it's with a t-shirt or of course at any of the live shows that we have coming up. Yeah, if you're coming to Melbourne slash Adelaide or Perth, definitely. That's the better way I reckon because you're at a show, you're going to be having a beer, you can take it for a test drive immediately, whereas if you wait for it in the post, post comes like, what, midday? Yeah.

Then you've just got to sit there for like hours waiting for beer o'clock. Yes. Unless you're a fucking – well, you listen to this, you're probably drinking from midday anyway, but still. And also we underestimated how many to bring up. I mean, we only had limited room in the suitcase, but I brought up a stack and we sold them all out and it's like, well, of course we did, we're in how many to bring up. I mean, we only had limited room in the suitcase, but I brought up a stack and we sold them all out. And it's like, well, of course we did.

We're in Brisbane. Yeah, totally. So then we've got Perth coming up in a month. So they'll go like buggery in Perth. What do you think the numbers will be in Melbourne this weekend? Of stubby holders? Yeah, yeah. Good, because we'll have heaps of people.

Yeah, that's true. Summer's coming up. Need to make a bloody keep cup for Melbourne for people for their fucking latte. What about a scarf for all the Melbourne listeners? What about a full-size tram with our logo on the side? What about that? Would that be good? What about something vegan?

Oh, no. A fixie. I hate people that live in my city. Actually, it's going to be reasonably not that warm on the weekend. On Saturday? Yeah. God damn it. We had a couple of good ones.

That's okay. It's gone to shit now, though. That's okay. I like shit weather. No, I'm not into it. Yeah, I love it. I'm ready. I'm ready to get the beach bod out.

Yeah, I love it. I love it. I'm ready to go kick sand in some dweebs' faces down on the beach. I'm bored with that. I thought we'd ordered enough at Koh Samui if we were going to go again next year, randomly, you know, hypothetically. But I don't think we've got enough. I don't think we'll have enough to see out bloody Perth at the moment.

Yeah, so I guess what you're saying is then we just can't do Koh Samui because we don't have enough stubby holders for it. So then what's the point? Well, we've been twice before and we didn't have any stubby holders. So I don't think that's – So we're used to it. At least there's a precedent. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, right. So is that all the sort of housekeeping we had for the top of that, I think, maybe? Oh, Perth. So it is sold out. Right. But we've been able to release a handful of extra tickets. Right.

So there's about 10 or so. As we speak right now – If you're listening to this, first thing on the Wednesday when it comes out, we've just released 10 tickets and then that's it. So if you missed out, there's a few people that missed out because we sold out a month in advance or more, here's your last chance. So grab a ticket and it's going to be a nice chockers full house,

a nice little live show for the end of the year, the last live show of the year I'd say. So it'll be heaps of fun. Can't wait. Have we got – now, I felt a bit bad last couple of weeks. We haven't talked about two things. We haven't talked about your neighbour. My neighbour, Dora Jones, yeah.

Dora Jones. Yep. The one-year-old baby losing her story. Yep. That's one thing we haven't talked about. Any updates on him? How is he going? He's actually got stubby holders that he's selling now.

Oh, really? Yeah. Stubby holders and he's one years old. Yeah, yeah. Well, a can of beer is the same size and circumference as a bottle. So you can put your bottle in there. So he has a bottle of milk. Yeah, yeah. And he puts it in his...

Yeah, like a baby's bottle. Right. So he's selling merch. He's selling his own... Well, he's not selling stubby holders. He's selling bottle holders. Well, yeah, yeah. To other one-year-olds.

To other one-year-olds, yeah. But to what one-year-olds does he know? Like he doesn't have his own podcast, does he? No, but he's popular. He's just out there. He's at kinder. He's starting small. He's at daycare.

Right. So he's just selling it to other kids. For a second, I thought you were going to say that Doolittle Jones had his own podcast. I was like, well, that'd be wild. Well, not yet. Who knows? Maybe down the line. Yeah. I would guess in the next couple of weeks wild. Well, not yet. Who knows? Maybe down the line. Yeah.

Maybe it is weird. I would guess in the next couple of weeks. Probably in the next couple of weeks, yeah. I mean, he probably, now that I think of it, that makes, I mean, he's a big fan of me. Right. You know, we're very close. Yes.

So it makes sense that when he's, you know, a suitable age, he would start to think about putting his own podcast together. A suitable age meaning in the next two weeks or so. Yeah, one year old in two weeks. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's interesting. Always on the lookout for new podcasts.

Do you want to know what his... We should say our stubby holders, they have sort of our logo, and then they have all of our classic catchphrases. Yes. Kind of all across them. Yes. Do you want to know what Dilwick Jones' stubby holders sound them? Oh, no.

Wah-wah. Oh. Yeah. So why does it say that? That's his classic catchphrase. Oh, right, right, right. Because he's a one-year-old baby. Right.

Do one-year-olds still say wah? Yeah. Don't they speak at one? Yeah, no, no. No? They're still, I mean, well, they're still capable of crying. Right, okay. I mean, you know.

So he's known for his crying. A 32-year-old man, for example, is capable of crying. Right. It never goes out of fashion. Right. All right. So you cry regularly. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. I had a cry the other night. Did you? I woke of crying. It never goes out of fashion. Right. So you cry regularly. Is that what you're saying?

Yeah, I had a cry the other night. Did you? I woke up crying. You woke up crying? Yeah, I've had a couple of occasions in my life where I've woken up crying. Really? Have you ever woken up crying? No.

Really? I've never even heard of it. It's like if I'm crying in a dream. It's like a wet dream for the other end of the body. If I start crying in the dream, I'll wake up and I'm just like I'm still in it. I'm like, ugh. Wow. I've got to say I love it.

It's so cathartic. You know a good cry is very cathartic. You wake up and you just feel cleansed. You really wake up and you feel like you've gotten it all out. Man, I've got to really look into this being really sad. It sounds like it feels really good. Yeah, yeah. Great. No, I've got to really look into this being really sad. It sounds like it feels really good. Yeah, yeah. Great.

No, I've done that a few times in my life. Yeah. Yeah, but no, I haven't. Before that, it had been a while. Can I ask why you cried in your dream? The weird thing is it's always the same dream. It's being at my grandpa's funeral. Very sad.

Wow. Very sad day for me because i was very close with my grandpa i'm sorry to hear that um all right well i don't think that didn't bear the comedic fruit that you were really hoping it would no no i'm fine with that no it's fine i have a follow-up question in fact i'm not stumped by that what is your follow-up question fucking more than that to stump old kc what's your follow up How did you get that No I don't think I've had any

Recurring dreams Oh you know I think I've spoken about this before But The only recurring dream I've ever had And I haven't had it for ages Is Going to play soccer

And walking on the field In jeans Okay And then not being able to play And then The referee telling me To stand by the side And then The match has started And I And then the referee telling me to stand by the side and then the match has started and I'm like, let me on the field.

I've gotten changed now. Put me on there and I just can never get on the field because I've turned up in jeans. You couldn't get a better summation of the difference between you and me than that being our two recurring dreams. Like anyone who's never listened before and doesn't know us, you've worked it all out right there. So is that a good summation of who you are as a person?

You dream and cry about your grandfather's funeral? Yeah, I'm an emotional person. You know, those things affect me. And you're like, I want to play soccer, but I'm wearing the wrong thing. I wouldn't put you as the poster boy for emotions. I think that's a bit of a long bow. You don't think I'm an emotional person? No. Why not? I just don't put you as the poster boy for emotions. I think that's a bit of a long bow. You don't think I'm an emotional person? No.

Why not? I just don't think you are. I think I'm – that's because I feel like I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I think I'm a very emotional person. Okay. Well, I'm from the outside looking in and I don't think so. What is it about me that makes you think that I'm not an emotional person? Me not seeing you display any emotions.

What? Well, what do you think? Why am I making that up? You're asking me. I'm telling you. That's bizarre to hear. Well, I find it bizarre to hear that you think the opposite. Yeah, that's really interesting.

Yeah. No, I don't particularly. I'm not saying you're completely emotional, but I don't. You are though. I wouldn't go the other way. That's really interesting. Yeah. No, I don't particularly – I'm not saying you're completely emotional, but I don't – You are though. I wouldn't go the other way, that's for sure. Right. I mean, no, I'm not breaking – I mean emotional in the sense that like

things really affect me and I overthink things a lot. I really think about things a lot. Well, I'm not in your head, so I don't see that. Okay. That's really interesting because I – but I feel like – yeah, I feel like I really wear it on my sleeve. So that's very interesting to hear that I don't display that. No, I don't.

Because that's how I wish I was. Well, I'm not saying that like it's a bad thing. I'm just saying I don't see it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But with everything that you say about someone's character, you have a way of making it sound like you think it's a bad thing. That's why I just said it's not a bad thing. That's really interesting.

I think there's a certain mental health professional who's going to be hearing a bit about this tomorrow at midday. No, it's just about how people, you know, whatever. For you to say, you know, oh, I'm emotionless. I'm like, oh, I'm not affected by that. I'm thinking, well, of course I have emotion, but I don't really care. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, no, no. It's interesting to hear how people see you when it directly contradicts how you think you are to people, if that makes sense. Yeah. Well, that's classic you to me. What could I do more of to make you think of me as a more emotional person? Cry IRL.

Okay. Cry on this podcast more. Okay. Yeah. If you cried on this podcast more, I would say Tommy's definitely emotional. Okay. That's for sure. Really?

That's probably the thing I would lead with. How often would I need, like once a month, once a week, how often would I need to be? You only have to cry on the podcast like a couple of times a year for me to think that you're quite emotional. Okay. Yeah. So if you pop in one between now and Christmas, it's a good start. I'll tell you what, I was very emotional when I listened to that recording of that episode.

Oh, for sure. Well, then if I had to send you, get the email, listen to the recording and cry, I'd be like, yep. When I talk to people about you and they say, what's Tommy really like? I would say emotional. I mean, now I feel like I'm just going to go too far the other way to just really prove myself. You're going to be getting a lot of teary phone calls from me in the middle of the night.

That's fine. You're going to be brought into my life in a way that you are going to be unable to take back and deeply regret ever having brought this up. Well, look, okay, here's an example. And again, I'm not knocking you for not being emotional or whatever it is. No, I'm not saying you are. I'm saying I'm interested to hear this. Put it this way.

When you have broken up with girlfriends, I've been like, oh, wow, this will be bad because when I've broken up with girlfriends, I just been like oh wow this will be bad because you know when i've broken up with girlfriends i just go to pieces yeah i'm no good and i'm like oh this will well this will be you know tommy's gonna this will be no good and then it's like no and i feel like gone i feel like what i've seen from you no so that's a combination of things where it's like i think i'm i go to pieces but i'm just good at compartmentalizing so when you see me it's like I think I'm – I go to pieces but I'm just good at compartmentalising. So when you see me, it's doing this or it's doing gigs and it's like, well, those things just have to happen.

I just have to keep doing them because that's life and that's work. And the other thing is I think I'm probably less prone to bring that sort of stuff up to you because I know there's a high chance of it being someday used as some kind of fodder for this very podcast that we're on. Oh, I don't. I think that's unfair. I think that's a little unfair.

Yeah, I don't know. But you're just not someone I super talk to about that stuff for whatever reason. All right. Well, like I said, I can only judge on what I see. My God, there would be friends of mine who've had to cop the brunt of drunken Uber conversations listening to this, tearing their hair out, going, are you fucking kidding me? Well, maybe they're going to be like me and go, no, Easter Island face Tommy.

It's all in his fucking head. He saves it for his dreams. He doesn't let it out, IRL. His pillow is fucking sodden. Maybe that is part of it. Any people that analyse dreams. Doesn't let it out IRL. His pillow is fucking sodden. Maybe that is I mean maybe that is part of it. Any people that

analyse dreams. Maybe that's what that means. If you cry a lot in your dreams that you're not you know what I mean that you're

not addressing your emotions enough in real life. Well I jerk off a lot in my dreams. Does that mean

what does that mean? I'm not jerking off enough in real life? Yeah yeah you're nofap. Right.

You're a proud boy. Wet dreams just means you're a virgin in real life. Yes. Yes. Okay. That would be – but doesn't it work that way if you just don't beat off for ages? Like your body just goes, fuck, I've had enough of this. Yeah.

So it probably is why. Lashy blows. Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting because I feel like I Yeah I Overthink things a lot but yeah Maybe I'm just not because I'm trapped

In my own head I feel like Jesus Christ Get a grip but because I'm not Outwardly conveying that maybe I Just give the impression of being A bit of a rock but really I'm a Fucking mess A bit of a rock well we've gone too far the other way no i'm talking about my rock hard abs okay and penis then i agree with but i thought about my um

yeah dead grandpa and woke up crying out of my dick yeah well that's see that's the thing i usually tell people when people say what's tommy really like i'm like erect really erect permanently it doesn't matter what sort of emotion he's going through. It's just like. Yeah. Just absolutely. And I pride myself on that. Yeah. I'd do anything to maintain this.

Right. Permanent stiff. I think I heard your wife come home a minute ago. Yeah. And there's a reason why she hasn't come out of her room, I think. Her room? You guys. Yeah.

Yeah. One of the many bedrooms in here. Yeah. Yeah. The east wing where she lives. Right. Yeah. I live over in the west wing.

Oh, right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The other side of the house. Anyway, thank you for that. Thank you for your honesty. That's really interesting. That's given me a lot to think about. No problem at all.

I'm happy to not lie to you. So that was one thing. That was one thing. That was one thing. So was one thing. That was one thing. So we do the Patreon names. We check in on Dilwook Jones. We check in on the other thing you're about to bring up. And now we've got to add crying into the mix.

Tommy's mental health. Tommy's emotions corner. Well, this might be linked. Okay. Enemy of the week. Yeah, the enemies list. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's, this might be linked. Okay. Enemy of the week. Yeah, the enemies list. Yeah.

Well, I mean, it's a no-brainer this week. It's got to be the techie at the Triffid. Tech at the Triffid. It's got to be. Wow. It's absolutely got to be. Yeah, right. Someone trying to sabotage.

Do you think maybe he has his own podcast? He's trying to sabotage us. Potentially. Yeah. Yeah. Or maybe the call came through. He listened to this dulcet tones of my voice and then because he's kind of closely aligned with the band Powderfinger, he runs it up the chain of command.

Bernard Fanning's like, someone's gunning for me. We've got to silence this guy. He didn't fuck the whole podcast. He just fucked your voice. He just fucked me for about 10 minutes. Yeah, right. So it's more of an enemy of the whole podcast. He just fucked your voice. He just fucked me for about ten minutes. Yeah, right. So it's more of a enemy of the week is definitely your enemy of the week. Definitely your enemy list.

Yeah, well, I mean, no, I think I'm his enemy and that's why he's done that. Right, right, right, right. But doesn't that – can you have someone that makes you their enemy and not have them as your enemy? Do you still like – well, obviously he's your enemy Yeah But it happens all the time Because he fucked He fucked your thing Yeah

But does that not make him Your enemy as well Or do you not care I mean your voice is intact Oh no no I care But I'm just saying You said Just because

You know It works one way It doesn't have to work the other way Well of course you must hate him now Yeah I hate him now But you can hate someone And then not know that You hate them

Yeah Right Can you Have someone hate you and you still like them? Yes. Yes? I think you'd find that's quite common. Right. I think that's a lot of relationships that people are in.

Sure. A lot of ex-relationships. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, sure. Well, I don't know. I don't want to sign off on this addition to the enemies list unless we're in complete Oh, I'm fine Yeah, no, totally

Totally Yeah, yeah, yeah Look In many ways I am one of the Co-hosts of this podcast So sure Yeah

Yes Yeah Totally Alright, well we're Okay, we're 50-50 He's on the list He's on the list Yep

Okay, alright Well, let's get on with You really powder fingered us Yes In a good way Because that powder was like He really powder fingered us. Yes. Not in a good way. Because that powder was like, what do you call it? What's the powder that people, anthrax.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like an anthrax finger. Yeah, yeah, yeah, nice. Right up the freckle. Yeah, no good. Just quickly, would you not agree that me being in Sydney Airport and missing our flight and me kicking a bin, would you not say that that is a display of emotion? Yes.

And I'm fine if that's the one time you've seen it? Yeah. Okay. Now that you say that, I'm like, yes, yeah, I saw you do that. Now I'm questioning that I even know what emotions are. Yeah. No, no, I just – anyway, look, let's keep talking about it. I think it's interesting.

I think people are interested in hearing about that sort of stuff. Sure, sure. But then, like, this will just turn into an hour-long thing. Yeah, for sure. Okay. Yeah, I got to keep going. Yes, I agree. But when you did do that, I did particularly find that was funny

because I thought particularly I hadn't seen you do anything like that before. Fuck, that's so funny. Yeah. So, anyway. Hey. I'm going to start kicking more funny. Yeah. So, anyway. Hey. I'm going to start kicking more bins. I'm going to start around you just kicking more bins while weeping openly. I think you've got to act more like you're in a comic strip for me to understand what you're going through.

You really have to check your fist at the air when you're unhappy. Okay. Yeah. Interesting. And jump in the air and click your heels together when you're unhappy and okay yeah interesting and like jump in the air and click your heels together when you're happy yeah yeah um make it make it make it a bit more telegraph your emotions a bit more i think yeah i'm way more i'm way more stoic than i than i gave myself credit for this is actually good to know i was shocked but now i'm coming around to

it i'm awesome i'm fucking great now you're like lying right back on my couch like you're the fucking... I'm sitting up in like a one-person thing. You're on the couch couch in my house. It looks like I'm the psychiatrist and you're the patient. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I genuinely am going to make my therapist listen to this.

I'm going to go in with the recording of this tomorrow and just for 15 minutes of our session just go, I'm just going to say, my boys, what do you reckon about this? Just getting a listener on board. And then he goes back through the archives and he's like, right, I'm starting to detect where a lot of these problems come from. How often do you go to the therapist?

I started going like a month and a half ago and I've been going once a week. I've been going once a week for the last little bit. What's it cost you? I don't want to get into that but I'm on going once a week. I've been going once a week for the last little bit. What's it cost you? I don't want to get into that, but I'm on the mental health plan. Oh, okay. You go into your GP and you get them very heavily subsidised by Medicare. Oh, okay. You have to go into your GP and say,

basically I'm thinking about killing myself. And they go, well, that's no good. Then you have to do this survey, which it feels like you can fail about how you're feeling. And then she goes, she gets on the old Morse code machine and lines you up. Right. And yeah, I've been trying to find someone

for the better part of the year and I finally found a good one who clicked, who was recommended to me by a friend of the show. Oh. Yeah. Right. Agro. Agro. Great.

Agro would have just about sent you to one. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was a stressful day. You know, I've never had the pleasure of going to someone like that. I was very close once. Really? Yes. That fascinates me.

Because I worked at a company where I went through a bad breakup and I was getting to the end of the job there. And I knew that they, you know, when I started there, they had this big plan of, you know, like, you know, here's all the advantages you get from working here, this and this and this. And plus we've got this number where if you know, like, you know, here's all the advantages you get from working here, this and this and this. And plus we've got this number where if you ring, you get, you know, mental health care sort of stuff and therapy or whatever it is, if that's what you want.

And I was like, oh, yeah. And then when I went through this really bad break, and I really copped it very hard. I was very, very down. I sort of hit them up to go, oh, is this a thing that I can do? And they're like, yeah. And like, but the way they treated me was like, oh, is this a thing that I can do? And they're like, yeah. But the way they treated me was like, oh, you better be fucked up if you're going to do this. Oh, really? This costs us money.

So you better be fucked. But surely their point with that was it has to be job related in some way. Yeah. So this was the weird thing. And forgive me if people have heard this on the show or a variation of this. So I was in a bad way for me, that's for sure. And I ended up taking some days off work because I just explained to them. I was like, oh, look, I'm just really not coping.

And I'd been at work and I'd been doing my job but I'd just been very quiet because I'm like – Yeah, you've told me this a number of times about you in a breakup. It fascinates me because I just – I can't see it. No, don't take it well. I really can't see it. And I know that this is obviously a long time ago, but I actually cannot – like you saying about, you know,

how I've been to you and I've gone through breakups, that's just what I would imagine if you hadn't have told me that, that you would be like. The absolute opposite. Fuck. Absolute opposite. Like you saying you go into gigs, I would not be going to gigs. Yeah, that's the thing I've always thought.

If anything happened to you relationship-wise, us doing this podcast, we would just – I'm assuming we just would go dark for a month there'd be no hope of doing episodes am i correct uh there'd be different sorts of episodes yeah yeah yeah that'd be interesting yeah that'd be very interesting but yeah i wouldn't be doing that like you strike me as you just wouldn't have the capacity you'd just be like nah yeah i don't know but i like to be distracted that's the difference yeah there's only so much i don't like i don't like to well it just doesn't make me feel any better what makes me feel better is seeing my friends and

and taking my mind off it yeah i look i i definitely that period that i'm talking about right now i definitely came at the back of that and and really had to apologize to my friends for being a real pain in the ass wow i was like just going oh can i just come around i just need to be with someone right and i've just got to talk do that boring talk about breakups and yeah yeah but i remember she said this but then i did this and she and it was like oh my god and i remember at the time being like fuck i'm gonna owe these guys something after this because yeah yeah boring um but uh yeah so that job anyway that job we'll get up we'll get out of fucking emotion uh it's good in a minute i mean we have other stuff to do we have other stuff yeah um boy we're probably gonna have to do a few less names this week now this bit's gone on so well we're not gonna be able to do a few less names this week now because this bit's gone on so long. Well, we're not going to be able to do the 10-odd plan, that's for sure.

I'm just stoked to have my voice in the mix for a big chunk of this episode. I'm steering this because I want to get more minutes on the board. Right, right. Yeah, on average. So you're back to a normal amount of time. If you could shut up for a few minutes just so we can restore the balance. If I could just quiet and write down in the mix. Yes.

Maybe if I can take the mic away and I'll be picked up on your mic on the other side of the room. Yes. Yes. Just to mimic what's going on in the guts of the episode. Yeah. Yeah. So this job, they did that.

They gave me a bit of, oh, this better be worth our while sort of thing. But so I was being very quiet at work because I was so down, but I just had my head down doing the job and that's about it. And- It must have been a nice change of pace for everyone you work with. No, no, no. It wasn't actually because it was a very, very sterile office. Right, right.

So you used to get told off for talking in the office. Right, right, right. So no one talked at all. Right. No one talked at all. Right. And everyone was really well spaced out so you couldn't talk to anyone. Mm-hmm.

So that was what was happening and I would be dragged into meetings that I didn't have anything to do with. So I'd be like, oh, you have to come to this meeting. And my job had nothing to do with any of the meetings. I'd sit there and not say a word for half an hour and then walk out. And then I applied for this expensive help or whatever it was. Then I actually didn't use it. But then I got an official warning. I dragged into the big boss's office to go you're

getting a warning and i'm like well four and they're like because you've been too quiet wow you're in those meetings and you didn't say anything and i'm like well a that's connected to the fact of me applying for mental health help yeah and b it's also connected to the fact i have nothing to do with those meetings so if I was in those meetings and chirping up, people would turn around and go, what the fuck do you know? You've got nothing to do with what we're talking about. You sound like an emotional little bitch. You should be more closed off and cool like me.

Yeah, yeah. So you never ended up going? No. Okay. Yeah. So I know I did get permission And I did whatever And then Yeah I just sort of went

I think I just went Yeah I think I took some days off That thing that cost the money You made a booking And then didn't show up to it So they just Well I sort of felt a bit intimidated By them

By the way they acted And I was like okay Well maybe I won't go and get it then It's kind of weird Something being organised Through someone else Where you know that Of course there's Doctor Patient uh patient confidentiality yeah um but so my gp who

recommended me is who gave me put me on the plan is an old family friend and so it's it's weird like you know that it's not going to go anywhere but when it's like well this woman knows my mom and dad you know and i don't want that to get back yeah it's the same thing it's like, well, this woman knows my mum and dad, and I don't want that to get back. It's the same thing. It's like if your boss has organised it, you know that it's safe, but it's like, is this a prank? Are they just going to print out quotes of things that I confess to in the session and then I come into the office and I'm just getting rinsed by everyone I work with?

Yeah, well, totally. So then because of all that, I end up getting the arse from this job because they were just like, oh, no, you're in this rotten mood all the time. And it's like – Yeah, because I'm fucking sad. And I wasn't doing anything bad. I wasn't like – there was no outbursts or anything like that. It was just like, okay, well, I'll sit down and do my work

like everyone else in the office does. And they're like, oh, no, we don't like that attitude. Like, wow, this is – Fucking hell. This is insane. This is incredible it was the craziest place I've ever worked

by far and I took great pleasure years later when I found out that nearly everyone had been sacked from there oh really well there you go

yeah but also on top of that my direct manager was like a complete like one of the dumbest people I've ever met like really dumb and then

my dealings with her was just incredible and then then her direct boss with her was just incredible and then then her direct boss was like a real piece of work like a real nasty person and so then when i end up they ended up offering me um uh severance pay whatever to get out and uh then on the way out i was like well you know that's cool uh you know i don't mind leaving because i'm you know i don't want to work for that person anymore and they're like oh really give us all the dirt on that person i'm like what's wrong with you like this sounds what you want to sack everyone environment

you want to get everyone in trouble wow and i was like i hate i hated my boss but then i was like i don't think i even want to give them up to you because yeah yeah yeah what what you just want dirt on everyone yeah that sounds like a shitty place. It was a shitty place but, you know, it was slightly better than me being unemployed for about four months and me sitting in my bedroom by myself every day while my housemate went to work and me going – Yeah. Oh, God.

Post-breakup. Oh, it couldn't be worse timing. Yeah. It was the worst. Yeah. Anyway. But look at us now. Anyway, what's this

other thing uh we have a podcast um the other thing uh oh no i think that was the other thing wasn't it it was still rick jones and it was enemy of the world oh the enemies list yeah i thought that's what we were talking about enemies list yep yep um anyway this is a good little chin whack i enjoy i enjoyed it a lot oh nice. So let's get on to this. What we do every week is we mention some of the people we've aforementioned already about people that subscribe to our Patreon. What Patreon is is a bit of a middleman. If you enjoy the show and you feel like you want to share a few shekels with us to keep the lights on in here, you can do that.

And in return, apart from the marvellous free podcast you get every week, you also get a bonus podcast. You get a free magazine and you get the chance to have your little name written out on the show. Which is good because you said Keep the Lights On In Here and we're sitting in your living room that is gone. There are no lights on in. And, you know, probably that's what influenced the conversation

that we just had is that it's gotten progressively darker and darker over time as we've been recording. Oh, look, it's midday as we're recording. Yes. It's just for some reason our mood has brought the lights down. Solar eclipse. Yeah. Yeah. So, let's crack open the Unplanned Title Alternator and get some names happening.

We have a sponsor. We have got a – so, this is the third week running that there's been a sponsor of the Unplanned Title Alternator? Third or fourth, I think. Third or fourth, okay. Yeah. We have a sponsor this week for that, for this segment of the show. So thanks to our sponsor, the Unplanned Title Alternator is brought to you this week by

Eating Pussies Right cat food They're bad Did they sponsor another week? No, no, no They've never sponsored

this segment before Really? Yeah Okay It's usually Yeah, no It's been other sort of cat foods

and anti-cat foods and stuff like this Okay, right, right, right So Eating Pussies who we just we heard from them in the episode that people just heard

Yeah, yeah. Cool, cool. And we sold some cans. We gave a few giveaways during the show. We sold a few at the end of the show. Yep. There might be a few on sale in the Melbourne show. Yep.

Stuff like that. Yep. Beautiful. Great stuff. I mean, you know what? If you bought a can of Eating Pussies cat food, right, and you weren't looking at the label, you couldn't tell the difference from one of the other absolute highest ranking cat foods on the market.

You think it could pass for a different brand of cat food that just any old idiot could buy off the shelves? For one of the better ones. Yeah. Yeah. Right, right, right. It's definitely – you know, you'd nearly say it's made from the same – It's the same can with just a different thing on the label. I wouldn't go that far. Right, right. I. It's definitely – you know, you'd nearly say it's made from the same – It's the same can with just a different thing on the label.

I wouldn't go that far. Right, right. I wouldn't say that out loud on the record or anything. But I would guarantee it's just as good. Okay. Definitely just as good. Equally as good. Equally – at the very least, equally as good as the cat food I regularly buy for Crunchy.

Okay, right. Definitely equally good. I could guarantee. Tastes the same. If you were blindfolded, you couldn't taste the difference between eating pussies and the cat food is. If you took it in for a lab test, they wouldn't be able to split the difference. Ingredients, all of it the same.

They wouldn't be able to split the difference. Interesting. Yeah. Interesting. So really the only difference between these two brands is that the label of eating pussies is a little less professionally printed. I'd say it's got a funnier title, so that's something. That's for sure.

Anyway, grab eating pussies at all your local live podcasts in the next couple of months. And yeah, for the listeners, for people listening, you know, yeah, we did sell cans of cat food after the show. Yes. For any lawyers from any cat food companies listening, you sold cans of cat food after the show. Bring it on. That's part of the reason I did it because I was like, I would love for something.

I'm now at a point in my career or life. Sad life. Yeah, where I'm doing things just to see if the police are listening or watching. Yeah life. Where I'm doing things just to see if the police are listening or watching. This is going to end up with you as the James Spader character in that movie Crash, just beating off and getting into car accidents.

Just to feel something. Sure. Okay, well, thanks to Eating Pussies. Let's fire it up and hit the big red button on the Unplanned Title Alternatorator thank you to Patreon subscriber Luke Halloways

Halloways yeah Hallow nurse if you know what I'm saying I'm feeling pretty good about this money in here he's giving us some Hallow cash

yeah nice nice he's giving us Hallow cash nine ways from Sunday how much do I love thee for putting in this money

let me count the hallow ways. Cool hand Luke. He's pulled that cool hand out of his pocket and it's had a few dollars in it and he's shoved it straight in our bank account. I wouldn't say I'm feeling Luke warm about this. I'm feeling hot, hot, hot. Well, have a look at the money we just got off this bloke. You know, I'm trying to be more emotional on the podcast

and getting this money from Luke just really makes me feel so thankful. That was me crying, not doing an impression of Luke McGregor. Oh, right. Okay. So is Luke McGregor constantly crying? He constantly is. His voice, you know, his kind of vocal tick thing, he kind of sounds like he's constant.

I think that's how you do a Luke McGregor impression. You just make it sound like you're constantly on the verge of tears. Right. Don't you think? Yeah, yeah, sure. It's great to be here. I always think of like maybe the pimply teenager on The Simpsons. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's just a voice breaking thing. Thanks, Luke. Thanks, Luke Halloways that's one hell of a name one hell of a name alright thank you to Patreon subscriber Christian Goodyear

mmm Goodyear have we not done this one before have we? this sounds way too familiar alright I'm going to double check I thought I'd double check before, but now I'm – no? Well, apparently we've never done it before. Are you sure? That's what I've got here.

I swear to God, this sounds so familiar. Good year. Have you been staring at your car tires for an hour? Because it may have been something to do with that instead. Okay. Because you do have a nice set of Christian tires on your car. Well, I don't have a car at the moment, but I did see a few blimps on the way over here. Ah, Christian

blimps. So maybe that's throwing Bibles out from high up in the sky. That's probably it. That's probably it. You saw a few missionaries walking past, and it's stuck in your head. Yep. I get it. Well, yeah, it's certainly a good year if we're getting money from this.

That's why I thought it's such a – I was like there's no – There's no effort put into that. I just remember a very – it's such a – you know, the softball ones that really stick out to me. I would have gone with good year. Well, now it's a great year. Now the Christians open up the old purse. There we go.

Someone let us know because I swear to God, I swear we've done that one. Well, you know. Could be someone with a different, you know. You know that I've got an infallible system here. So I doubt. I've never read a name twice. So I can't say why this week would be the first time I'd made a mistake. Sure.

Well, yeah. Okay. I take it all back. Yeah. I forgive you. What do you call, it sounds like the answer to, or the setup to a joke,

a Christian good year. Is that a year in which? If I can, yeah, I don't know, a bit of missionary sex and, yeah. Yeah. Well, there's two comedians on absolute top speed. Well, there's two comedians on absolute top speed. No room for emotion in this job.

You just got to stare down the barrel. You just got to fire off the best gag you can possibly think of. Yep. What do you call a Christian good year? Yeah, I don't know. What have you got? 52 visits of church. There you go. Yeah, that's a Christian good year. Sort got? 52 visits of church. There you go.

That's a Christian good year. Sort of just a fact, really. It's just a regular Christian year. It's just an equation. Yeah, that's just kind of what you have to do in order to be a Christian. Broke that down technically rather than comedically. Well, thanks, Christian. Thanks for outing us as fraud comedians with your fucked name.

We were getting away with it too. For 420 episodes, we got away with it and then you had to come along. Yeah. And make us look like idiots. But thank you again for forcing an emotion out of Tommy. Yes. Anger is what I think this is. You think it is?

Yeah. Right. All right. Thanks, Chris. Thanks, Chris G. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Benjamin Struthers. Oh, Struthers. That sounds like a – it's one of those names that sounds like a naughty word.

You know what I mean? It sounds like – Struthers. It's almost like underwear but it's not actually underwear at all. Yeah, yeah, because what's underwear? Underwear is druthers? Druthers, yeah. Druthers, yeah. I remember Struthers from a line in a Primus song.

If I had my Struthers. Of course you're into Primus. I was into one album at the time. Yeah, me too actually. Yeah. I think the one I was into was the one where by the time the album where they were officially, people weren't into them anymore. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, man. What's Anti-Freak? Was that one of them? Oh, I dropped off by then. Whatever. Yeah. Pork Soda. I was into Pork Soda. Oh, yeah. Pork Soda. Yeah. Oh, man. What's – Anti-Freak? Was that one of them? Oh, I dropped off by then. Whatever. Yeah. Pork Soda. I was into Pork Soda.

Oh, yeah. Pork Soda. Yeah. I think because – yeah, the South Park theme song was what made me go, oh, I should listen to this band. I saw them at the Big Day Out. Did you really? I think they came out here pretty recently.

Yeah. I'd imagine they – It was them and someone else. it was them and someone kind of very similar to them yeah anyway yeah i liked them at the time but then you listen to about one or two albums ago i think i get this so it's time i got this now yeah that real hardcore kind of slap bassy sort of shit yeah yeah it sounded like it was you know what i love that that year a couple years there for music because it was like i just heard all these bands i've never heard anything like before and so everything was new yeah and you sort of heard it all and went oh yeah i got this it's primus kind of sound like if someone listened to the red hot chili peppers and went that flea

guy's kind of slacking off over there let's throw a bit more slapping of bass in here it sounds like if the red hot chili peppers were all virgins yeah yep yeah yeah it was a lot they're a lot nerdier than um yeah they're all singing about dorks they're singing about anal every week or whatever it is you know whereas fucking liz claypool's just talking about toys that he bought or is he really i know cereal or fucking whatever, you know. And aren't their songs all in, like, kind of weird time signatures? So they must be, like, big music nerds. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of time spent in the library, I think. You know what? Tech from the Triffid, you're off the hook. Primus are on the enemies list this week. Let's start a feud with Primus. No, I'm okay with Primus. I'm happy for you to put him on the list, but I'm-

No, no, no. Like I said, it's got to be a unanimous decision. No one should be allowed on the enemies list unless it's we're both in. Okay. All right. Because it's not just me saying here's someone I hate. It's the official enemies list of the little dum-dum club. All right.

I don't mind that. All right. Great. We need to have a pinned thread in the Facebook group where we keep tabs on who's on the enemies list. You got off lucky, Les. Well done. You owe me one, Les. Les and the boys?

Yeah. Les and Brain, I think the drummer or the bass player was. Now, Les Claypool, he should chip into this. Yeah. Imagine the fucking field day we'd have with Claypool. Well, like I said, I think the drummer's name's Brain. Right. So.

Well, boys, yeah. We could take those names apart like we did with Christian Goodyear. What would you call it? It's like a set up to a joke. What would you call a clay pool? Thanks, Benjamin. Thanks, Benny. If I had my struthers.

Thank you to Patreon subscriber Ian Cutler. Cutler. C-U-T-L-E-R. Hmm, I like that. Yeah. That's a nice, I like the T and the L next to each other. I would say it's a nice name to hear. Yeah.

Also, there's a famous- Ian, not so much, I don't think. No, not a big fan. Maybe like a Rebecca Cutler. Oh. That's a lot, you know, that's fun to say as well. Rebecca Cutler. Rebecca Cutler. That's going's a lot, you know, that's fun to say as well. Rebecca Cutler. Rebecca Cutler.

That's going to cause some consternation. I would say Cutler & Co. is a semi-famous steakhouse in steak restaurant. They probably would rather be known as in Melbourne. Yep. I've never been. It's something I should add to my list of places I've been. It's on Gertrude Street. Yes.

Correct. Yeah, I'm heading up there after this. Yes. Not to there, but nearby. places. It's on Gertrude Street. Yes. Correct. Yeah, I'm heading up there after this. Yes. Not to there but nearby. Yes. It looks really nice inside. I've never eaten there but me and my friend were walking past there and we knew that our friend and his girlfriend were having a date night there.

So we walked past and we thought this would be pretty funny. Why don't we just like – let's just show up because my friend had put in the group chat like, oh, going out for dinner tonight. So we turn up and it's very fancy and I can't believe this worked but we go up and it's like fancy kind of like waiter there who's ready to seat you and we walk in and go, hey, our friends are here. We just want to like kind of, you know, we just want to prank them. We just think it'd be funny to just kind of show up and sit down at their table and, you

know, that'd just be a funny thing to do because they're on a date. And he goes, yeah, sure, I'll show you through. Like, took us to where they were sitting. Wow. We were like, is this what – and we were, you know, we're dressed like shit. Like, we're not dressed up. We're just in casual clothes, like T-shirt and shit. Yeah, very good stuff.

Very good stuff. I don't know. Like, it made me appreciate the place more, but I feel like my friend would have been going like, come on, man, you pay top dollar to be here and you're just going to let any old old person come in lead them right to our table yeah fuck around with us that is that is not number one in you know way to school to be pulling shit like that um of course that's in opposition to our favorite steak place in in melbourne which is uh rockpool yeah which we went to the other week a week week or two ago. Yep. Very nice.

Very nice stuff. Yeah, good stuff. And, you know, just good to know that we keep going to a place where then we find out in the paper they haven't been paying their staff properly. But, you know. Yes, yes. What can we do about it? And, you know, leaving feeling good because, you know,

we're going pretty hard when we're there. We're going like, oh, pretty big bill at the end of this. But then it's like you feel worse because it's like that's even less money that they're getting. Yeah. But good sides. Really good sides. And I mean, we're saying it's bad.

They cook a good carrot. They do cook a really good carrot. Mac and cheese always very good. I'm complaining, but I do every time we go there at the end, I go, by the way, I just want to stress that I want none of this money to be going to the workers here. Right. I want this going all into the fucking, into the head honcho's pocket.

Yeah. So, like, I mean, I'm saying it's awful, but I guess in a lot of ways you could say I am at least partly responsible for it. Well, that's it. Every time I've ever eaten there and paid the bill there, I don't even pay it at the restaurant. I just direct debit Neil Perry. Right.

Get a little system going with it. That's cool. Make sure no one in that restaurant is getting a piece of it. Let's leave the middle man out of this. By that, I mean your workers. Yeah, totally. Yeah, that's good stuff. Totally.

All right. I mean, we go and we're there with Milan and, you know, that ends up with us feeling like shit for the next 48 hours after all the beers we've consumed. So, look, we're all victims here. And it's also very big of us to be talking about paying any bills. Pretending that we – well, I deliberately made sure to never use the words when I pay the bill.

You'll notice I was dancing around, but you just went for it. Well, I did say when I do because I have before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, I didn't say – I definitely do it every time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm the best. Yep. And so, anyway, that's, like I said before, I was planning on doing 10, but we talked

so much about emotions. Yeah, yeah, you were saying that. Yeah. Well, if we do one more, that's the halfway mark. It's open. The cat is now inside. Yeah. I was scratching at a door that was already open.

Yeah, but I deliberately only opened it enough for her not to be able to get in. Okay. Okay. All right. So if we do five, now to get in. Okay. Okay. All right. So if we do five now, that's halfway. That's exactly what I promised earlier in talking dumb dumb. Yep. Okay.

So that's one to go. Here we go. One more. Press of the button of the – and get a random name out. Here we go. A person who supports us on Patreon is coming up right now. Yep. What have we got?

Thank you to Patreon subscriber. Read it out. Good Year Comedy. Good Year Comedy. Yeah. now. Yep. What have we got? Thank you to Patreon subscriber... Read it out. Good Year Comedy. Good Year Comedy? Yeah. Hmm. That's interesting. We should be able to make something good out of that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. More like... Well, how much do they chip in? Let me check. Do we have that information? Have we used that before? I'm not sure. I've never actually checked that before.

Okay. I think you can. Okay. I've used Patreon for other things. I'm pretty sure you can. Yep, yep, before Okay I think you can Okay Use Patreon for other things I'm pretty sure you can Yep Just looking And

Oh yeah You're right There's a column I haven't seen before $69 $69 Wow Yep

Well If that's the case That's more than the average And in that case More like great year comedy Nice Yeah I like

That's a good angle Fresh take Good year comedy Yeah Wow I'll tell you what Good year comedy I'll tell you what. Goodyear comedy.

I'll never tire of you giving me money. Oh, nice. What do you think? Nice. You know, my bank account is swollen up like a big old blimp. Ah. With all that money that's in it. Goodyear.

Well, speaking of rubber, I don't like to wear one on my penis during sex. Nice. Nice. Yep. All right, it's back to me. Not such a good year at the moment for you. Well, thanks, good year comedy. You've just gone That's full stop

Alright Well you are That was the best You've got to know When to follow them You know Sure So there's no other information

That's it Do we just need to give a thanks Yeah I think so Well thanks Goodyear Comedy I think that'd be best Yep Yep Thanks Goodyear Comedy

Thanks to everyone Who supports the Little Dumb Dumb Club On Patreon Patreon.com Slash Little Dumb Dumb Club If you'd like to do that and get some sweet extra rewards

and content and you never know what sort of stuff we're going to send out as a bonus episode like I said the one that's being sent out this week is

you know the Coastal Movie International Fringe Podcast Festival which was a lot of fun it was with guests Mel Bartle Brett Blake for most of it

until he sort of passed out and Nick Carr yep so that was a lot of it until he sort of passed out, and Nick Carr. Yep. So that was a lot of – it was very, very, very funny. It was very loose. Yeah, it was very loose, a lot of fun. Yeah, we kind of – we sort of mix it up.

We often do different kinds of things for episodes. We're talking about – we saw a big billboard for a foreign film that has absolutely delighted us, and we're talking about doing something for that. Yes. For one of them. Yes. It might be a director's commentary for a film we've never seen before. A commentary review or something I think would be cool.

Yeah. Or you just watch it with some friends and then talk about it for a bit. Give a plot summary. Because I looked it up and it's got really bad reviews. So I think that'll be funny. Yeah, sure. Okay. All right, guys.

Thanks very much for listening. LittleDumbDumbClub.com for tickets, the new Stubby Holder merch, the links to the Patreon, all that sort of stuff. Thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mate.