The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 421 - Live! Glenn Robbins, Gen Fricker, Tom Ballard, Dilruk Jayasinha, Nick Cody, Nick Capper & Ben Russell

Episode Date: October 30, 2018

We got our biggest ever audience for an Adelaide podcast and all we had to do was move the show to Melbourne! We're joined by an all star cast of GLEN ROBBINS, GEN FRICKER, TOM BALLARD, DILRUK JAYASINHA, NICK CODY and NICK CAPPER as we talk about prostate exams, stool samples, vacuum cleaners and boat parties. PLUS one of our recent American guests joins us for a shot at redemption AND we have a HUGE announcement! Don't forget, we have a bunch of huge live shows coming up:PERTH: We're heading back for our annual huge day of stand-up and podcasting! NOVEMBER 18. For tickets, merchandise, links to our Patreon and heaps of other stuff, head to our website: littledumdumclub.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on The Little Dum Dum Club, a huge live episode recorded in Melbourne slash Adelaide featuring amazing guests, Dilruk Chai Singer, Nick Cody, Tom Ballard, Nick Capper, Jen Freaker and Glenn Robbins. Yeah. Awesome stuff. This one was packed out and so much fun and we have a big bombshell announcement in the middle of it. Huge news that is probably going to be of interest to quite a few of you, I imagine.

So for some of you people that like to only listen to the episode intro and then stop immediately, listen to the rest of the episode today, I reckon, guys. Yeah, we do get a lot of, you can see when people tune out of the episodes, and there's a lot of people that drop off after a minute and a half. People just like this bit. People just like the plugs for upcoming shows and the list of who's on it. A lot of people just go, well, you know, that's enough for me. Guys, hang in there

Kramer. Just listen to the rest of the episode for this week, please. Well, yes, enjoy this huge live in Adelaide, in Melbourne episode. Hey, mates! Welcome into the Little Dum Dum Club for another week, live from Adelaide. My name is Tommy Dasolo, and sitting next to me, the other half of the show, South Australia's favourite son, Carl Chandler.

G'day dickheads. Alright, we are here live in Adelaide. The show did start a little bit late because this is an Adelaide gig. We only just decided that we were going to turn up, so apologies for that. We did, look, look, we did move our show from Adelaide before we even decided it was going to be in Adelaide. So it is in Melbourne. I feel like you're confusing the audience, Tommy. Yes. They felt like they were in a much shitter place.

But they're not. They're here in Melbourne. Hey, but thanks for coming. As we've been talking about, we just wanted to do an Adelaide Live podcast so we could sell it the fuck out. And you guys have fucking done that. So thank you very much. We did it. Victory. Oh very much. We did it. Victory.

Oh, man. Tastes sweet. Feels really good. We got a... I got some messaging during the week about this gig, about the ticketing here. The venue here, the Comic Center, who were lovely enough to have us here, we found out during the week,

some listeners were saying, oh, we can't buy tickets anymore. And we're like, oh, I don't think we're sold out yet, so why can't you buy tickets? And they said, yeah, it just disappeared off the website. So I hit up the venue and they said, oh, well, look into it. That shouldn't be like that. That should be still there. I get the call back ten minutes later going,

yeah, some of your fucked listeners have fucked the ticketing website up. A bunch of them have tried to buy hundreds of tickets at once in several different baskets it just broken the website Wow we did it guys we hacked into the mainframe which by buying hundreds of tickets definitely means that we're not in Adelaide yeah yeah we're not applause okay guys don't try and hack us and fuck us up we're the good guys we're your friends i i mean this whole thing this whole idea of like oh it's a live adelaide podcast but it's in melbourne i really thought no offense to the general iq of the audience but i really

thought we were setting ourselves up for there to just be no one here like this seemed i guarantee you there are at least 10 people in Adelaide right now out the front of the Rhino Room just going, what the fuck? Ten people out the front of the Rhino Room. That would break our attendance record. Yeah, yeah. But also I think that this is quite a confusing start. Like you started

saying, oh we're in Adelaide, we're in Adelaide. I've been getting heaps of messages from people saying we are coming along with our friends. Our friends have no idea what the show's about. And it feels like that's 50% of the audience. And then Tommy comes in and goes, we're in Adelaide, everyone. It's like 50% of the room's like, fuck me dead. What the fuck's happening here?

Sorry, let me clear it up. Everything is Rick, okay, to those people. Don't freak out. By the end of this, you will know Hughes, okay? You've come in fresh. If you've never seen this show before, you've never heard of it, just look next to your friend

and ask them to do the eyes for you. Like, yeah. Oh, God damn. I think we've got them all out now. It's a pretty one-dimensional show when you think about it. It really is a cartoon at this point Fuck one would be nice Look I think this is

I'll say this up the top of the show I think this is a nice time to do this A nice message for everyone out there You know you've been saying to me for a while I should get my prostate checked You know you do Oh yeah yeah I thought you said the story was me saying to me for a while, I should get my prostate checked. You know, you do. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. I thought you said the story was me saying to you, like me saying, I need to get my prostate checked. I'm like, I've never fucking said that in my life. I would rather die than have another man do that to me, quite frankly. Yeah, but no, a lot of people put that sort of stuff off, and myself included. So, quite honestly, like,

hopefully this is a good sort of sign out there for people to do this. Oh, my God. Where is this going? I fucking wish I was in Adelaide right now. No I got I found this big lump on my shoulder and it was like. That's not where the prostate is. Your poor wife.

No. I wish I could shoulder her but yeah I don't groan because that actually makes no sense I wish I could shoulder her is that going to be

the next one on the stubby holder is that no not catchy enough so I had a growth there and I've noticed it's been growing and so I'm like holder here, is that going to be the next one on the stubby holder? No, no, no. No, not catchy enough. So I had a growth there and I've noticed it's been growing and so I'm like, okay, well, this is the sort of thing, you know, people put those messages out, you should go and check it out. You should go and get it checked out. So I

went, you know what, I'll do it. I never do this. I put things off. So the next day I went to the doctors and I was quite concerned and when you start going into the doctors, you go fuck, this is real. This could be anything. What was the doctor's name? I don't know. Ramsey.

Thank you. That's all I was fishing for. Thanks for trying to punch up this potential cancer story. It's what I do. So I went into the doctor and I said, look, I'll take my clothes off, whatever. It's like there. Yeah, this was in reception, by the way.

On the tram on the way in. Yeah. Can never be too ready. So I... But that is weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can never be too ready. So I... But that is weird. No, I did take my shirt off. I'm like, is this a bold move? Is this, like, too forward?

And I'm like, that's a fucking doctor. You're allowed to do that. So I... I'm allowed. Yeah. So I was like, okay, here we go. And you start to get a little bit nervous because you're like, oh, this is what I'm you start to get a little bit nervous because you're like,

oh, this is what I'm literally doing. I'm literally going to find out from a medical professional what this growth is that is getting larger every day. I'm like, fucking hell. So I said to her, I got a little bit nervous and sort of said, can you have a look here? That's a growth that's been getting bigger and bigger over time. And she looked at it and went

oh no that's not cancer that's what we call a senile wart is that a wart that's just like forgotten it's a wart or yeah yeah what is that just keeps growing because it didn't know it was supposed to stop so and so what do you do you get anything done to it or are you just going to live with it now no well that's it I was like are you trying to replace me

well I don't know I thought of you immediately because I was like I'm pretty sure you've described me as that but anyway but I was like what do I do now and she's like i don't know just leave it i'm like well i just leave it and she's like well i i i don't want to take it off so yeah you can just leave it there like you she didn't want to take it no no no she was like well that that's another procedure that's you'd have to go and see someone else so i'm not really concerned about it just get away from me yeah yeah or nothing to do with you anymore yeah so then i was like oh that's right so now i'm here and i'm like do with you anymore. Yeah, so then I was like, oh, that's right, so now I'm here.

And I'm like, well, I've never had the prostate check. So I was like, well, okay, well, that's a tick there. So I was like, can I, while I'm here, if that's like so easy, like you just looked at it and I was like, can you do a prostate check on me now? While you're down there, I'm not down there. Yeah. I'm on the opposite

end of your body. Well, I've got my shirt off. Can you do a prostate check? I've got to say, this is the best episode of the dollop ever. This is great. I'm just hearing a bizarre story from history and just reacting off the cuff. So I said,

would you be able to do the prostate check while I'm here? And she said, oh, no, we don't do that anymore. It's all blood tests. And I was like, but what if you really want to finger up your arse? Hell yeah, dude. You know, as a joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As a joke, and she's like, I'm not going to do that.

I'm pretty sure that's chapter one in the game. Go to the doctor with a wart on your shoulder. Oh, no, but, you know, doing comedy, that's brutal. You put yourself out there with a joke, and if it doesn't work, it's the worst. It's even worse when your joke is, how about you stick your finger up my arse? Did not see it as a joke, just said no.

That's a good bit, though, just getting up in the middle of a set and begging the audience to finger you in the ass. That's great. That could be your new duck sandwich. Yeah, right. Thank you. Are the plus ones of everyone, are they enjoying it so far?

Are we okay? You know, everyone relates to whatever the fuck I just talked about, right? Yeah. Who's had the check recently? Come on, I'm up to it. No one. You've all got cancer. These are my people.

Thanks for the three people that have already tried to bring me. Well, they're concerned about you. Maybe they're doctors in the audience that have some medical advice. Yeah. Turning it to aeroplane mode. Oh, you've learned how to do that? After four years. You're the one hanging shit on me about,

you're the one that fucking caused this disaster to happen. Yeah. So I got a text just before the show from... Here we go. I get a lot of listeners texting me. This is a first. As we're talking about, there's a lot of plus ones here. Friends of listeners that don't really know what they're coming in for.

I got a text from a listener's friend who hasn't heard the podcast, but even they're fucking texting me now. Amazing. So the text goes, Hi, Carl, I'm Emma, and my best friend is bringing me along to the podcast show tonight. I don't understand the inside jokes, so be sure to make my drunk self enjoy it without context.

See you tonight. I said, ha-ha, okay, Emma, we'll do our best. We're doing a roast at the end that won't need much context to enjoy. We'll also have an awesome surprise guest that you'll really know. And she said, awesome, can't wait for the show. Just before we stepped on stage, I get a text from that person saying, my mate got too drunk, she loves the podcast, but we are not coming. So, it goes on.

My reply is just, Jesus. She then sends a message that says, please send her a message of good luck. I really want to get her to show it after party. That's what it literally says. I'm not Brett Blake. Then, so I just don't reply to that. Then five minutes later, the message says,

Courtney isn't going to make it tonight. Please make the show good for her. Good luck. Tell the hosts good luck. I am the host. Tell me. You didn't relay any of this to me. Good luck.

I could have really used, oh, well, a lot of good it does me now that we're doing the show. Good luck to all the hosts. She is literally puking in the toilet. Sick. Very on brand for us. Yeah. I mean, you guys think you're fans for coming out to the show.

Incorrect. What makes you a bigger fan of the show is being such a drunk that you are unable to attend the show. Yeah. That's like, that's, you know, the meme of like the God, like at the end where he's just bursting out. That's the bottom level of that. That's what we should do know the meme of like the god like at the end where he's just bursting out that's the bottom level of that

that's what we should do at the end of the show go and visit the hospital and see all the real fans and I can go and get myself checked

again the true MVPs yeah so do we want to check in on yeah so we did we set this up on the podcast a while

ago we were talking on the show about this, that we were... Yeah, this was our live Adelaide podcast in Melbourne and we thought this might inspire some people from Adelaide to travel to Melbourne for this podcast. It's your night, guys, if you're from Adelaide. And so we've set up over here, we've got a VIP section that's meant to be for Adelaide listeners only. We put a velvet rope there and everything

which keeps everyone out. And we had a strict condition that you had to be able to show an Adelaide driver's licence in order to get in to this VIP section. So we've got, can we get our roving reporter out into the mix? Because we do, sorry guys, we don't want to... Hello!

Hello! I'd say we've got you've already welcomed him but our roving reporter the face of Lynx Africa it's Nick Capper Did the lights just get turned brighter on you or have I got that weird condition where you can see smell I like people saying save it Did the lights just get turned brighter on you or have I got that weird condition where you can see smell? I like people saying, save it, this is the podcast.

It's so weird seeing a senile wart with a senile wart. All right, Nick Kappa, roving reporter. So what we want to do, we want to get you over there, beyond the velvet rope over there, and check to make sure that... To check in on the Adelaide fans. OK. Just to make sure that there isn't any, you know, tourists in there that are getting in on the Adelaide, you know, action.

All right, so this is the Adelaide... This little bit here, yeah. All right, whip out your ID. You guys look all inbred enough. Check some prostates while you're at it, Kappa. Alright, mate, whip out your ID. Oh, you're from Melbourne. Oh, well, lucky for you.

You're from Adelaide? Oh, great, cool. You're looking in the wrong section, you fucking idiot. There. There. There's a sign there and everything. What? I can't see the fucking sign. Just go here.

This little bit here. You were right next to it. Well, this isn't a good view at all. Are you guys from Adelaide? Yeah. Oh, that's good. What's it like coming to a city? Adelaide? Oh, that's good.

What's it like coming to a city? You're supposed to be checking ID, not doing material. Alright, sorry. That's one of my hottest ones. This isn't the census, Catherine. Whip out your IDs, people. No ID? Yeah, you are from Adelaide. People would

arrest you immediately if they asked for your ID. Anyway, sorry. What about you guys? ID? What the fuck? Man, it truly is a lawless town, right? Is there no one from Adelaide in the Adelaide section? Adelaide section, please, give out your ID.

Come on, whip it out. No one's from Adelaide. What the fuck? Is there anyone in here from Adelaide who missed it? She's from Adelaide. All right, all right. Why didn't you go in the Adelaide section? We printed a very, very small sign saying Adelaide section.

And put it up 25 minutes after doors had opened and you couldn't fucking locate it? Jesus Christ. And then we put our best man on the case. We couldn't have tried harder. It's so weird. This doesn't look like a driver's licence at all. It just looks like one of those flaps from a milk carton

or something like that with a photo glued to it. But, yeah, I think it's from Adelaide. Thank you very much. Again, you're checking the wrong section, but whatever. Look, I'll take anything at this point. She said she's from Adelaide. Thank you very much. Again, you're checking the wrong section, but whatever. Look, I'll take anything at this point. She said she's from Adelaide, or I give her a break. It's like picking on the disabled. We've had you on the show before.

We know what that's like. So is someone sitting next to the Adelaide section but not actually in the Adelaide section? Yes. You tried to hide. Turns out we can find you. She didn't next to the Adelaide section, but not actually in the Adelaide section. Yes, you tried to hide. Turns out we can find you. She didn't try to hide. She sat next to the Adelaide section.

Turns out she's actually from Merino. Is that part of Adelaide? Oh, they've got suburbs there. That's fucking weird. All right. Thanks, Nick Cabot. Thanks, Nick Cabot, roving reporter. Give it up. That's fucking weird Alright Thanks Nick Capper Thanks Nick Capper Roving reporter Give it up

Give it up Well the vibe out there In little Adelaide That we've set up Sounds electric See you guys This is my only job Thanks Capper

Go freshen up Should we dive into, very quickly before we get a first guest, we have got gifts on stage, haven't we? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got a big bag of crunchies. Oh, nice. Which I take as a threat because it feels like

someone's intimating that they want to put my cat in a sealed plastic bag. Crunchy pieces. Oh. Contra for all dimensions. Oh, Contra for all dimensions. That would be good if we started getting... Why the fuck haven't we thought of that before? Yeah.

If anyone can get a message to the Crunchy Corporation... How did you throw chocolate on a microphone like that? Yeah. I don't know what happened there. It was weird. I would love some free crunchy ice creams. How did you throw chocolate on a microphone like that? I don't know what happened there. It was weird. I would love some free crunchy ice creams. If the people from Crunchy can get back to us,

that would be the fucking best. That is a fucking good ice cream. I'm not interested in the bar, but I want the ice cream. Best chocolate ice cream combination out there, in my humble opinion? I think you'd be right. I think it's definitely up there. The Milo ice cream is good, although Milo's not really a chocolate.

You know what's good for comedy? When people agree with each other. Us agreeing with each other about ice cream, though, while I'm checking your prostate. Right. That would be good comedy. That would make up for the agreement, if I was like... You trying to see how many crunchies you could stick up my

ass. Yes yes that is comedy and somehow that's going to work out if you have cancer or not yeah yeah yeah there's a certain number where if you can get that many up there

it's bad news dude right six let's do five woo alright everyone out that'll do yeah

I think I think half the people will go out because that's one too many references. Alright, I think that's... You know, we've got a lot of guests to go through tonight. We've made a big, big show. We've got a big arsenal of guests. So we might as well get the first one out, I reckon.

Yeah, let's get... Speaking of big arsenals, please welcome back into the little dum-dum club, Dilmuk Jai Singha! Hello boys, hello folks. Yes. Good to be back. Off mic.

What? Nothing. Just a little treat for you two. Just having fun out here. I've had the prostate check. Have you? Yep. Multiple times.

By doctors? Once by a doctor. Right. The other time I was curious. Multiple times. I know what I'm into. I'm learning what I'm into. But I have had the genuine prostate check done.

It was... I don't know if anyone knows. Why did you get it done? Because when I kept insisting on it with this lady doctor, she was like. Kept insisting? Well. Yeah. Yeah. Please.

Yeah. Because she was saying, you don't need it until you're 50. I'm like, I'm pretty sure I need it earlier. Can you do it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She just kept saying, just go back. Go home and come back when you're 50. Go back.

Yeah. That would be so good, turning up on the day of your 50th. I'm back. Yeah. They've good, turning up on the day of your 50th. I'm back! They've made a lot of advancements in medicine. It's 60 now. No, you promised me. Happy birthday to me. Now if you can just blow out my...

No, I had it because a couple of years ago I pissed blood. And I spoke about it in detail in my show last year. But it was with you guys in Sydney. Don't drag us into this. No, no, no. We did the Opera House show. No, the year before.

But either way, it was 2015. Was it back when you were drinking in the drinking year? Extremely drinking. I believe it was the drinking that caused it. I pissed blood, which is weird why he wanted to check my prostate, because it was a piss issue. Why did he want to go back there? Is that connected?

I don't know. But it just shows how different we are. I want it checked, and you're like, no, thank you. It's weird. No, I kind of really liked it, because it is a weird sensation, though, because you're so used to everything, so it's always going one way. It's weird. No, I kind of really liked it because it is a weird sensation because you're so used to everything so it's always going one way.

It's just odd. It goes back up again. You're like, oh, hey. Hi there. Well, you're used to fingers coming out of your arsehole and now... Yeah. Chicken fingers.

And fish fingers. It's interesting that you were talking about pissing blood because all the blood has gone into my cock after this talk. Like osmosis just transferred it into you. I cannot concentrate. The thing is, the doctor, he was not... After I left all of that, this was like a preliminary check, I saw his board, it said Mr.

I was like, I don't know if he's actually a doctor. So he just got a framed certificate on the wall, a mystery. I didn't see a certificate, but it was just Mr. I won't say his real name. He just hired out an office near the hospital and said, whoever wants a finger up the ass come in here. Yeah, and you know what? I learned something that day.

What did you learn? I like fingers up my bum. It's good to be here in Adelaide. I've had some good times. Here in Adelaide. I've had some great times in Adelaide. I have told one story about me in my earlier years.

Way back when I'm about being in Adelaide and hooking up with a girl, then going back to her place and then I was so excited about being with her. I jumped on her bed and snapped the bed in half. And she literally said, you broke my bed, you fat

fuck. Now we're married. Dirty talking in the bedroom. Very nice. It was heartbreaking. But also I think... Bed breaking? Good one, sir. Man, I do enjoy the front row tagging our jokes

But it's the set up at this venue There's like a big table that's like on the stage So people are The front row are like leaning on the stage Like they're the judges in a reality show or something They're like the juggalos You know, from the Yeah, yeah

From the ICP The other story that I thought about from From Adelaide I don't know if I told I'm pretty sure I never told this on the podcast I, once when I was in Adelaide I I don't know if I told... I'm pretty sure I never told this on the podcast. I, once when I was in Adelaide, I stuck my dick in a vacuum cleaner.

It's not ringing any bells. No. No? I'm pretty sure. Sorry, I should say, it's not fucking any Dysons. Yeah. I mean, most of your stories suck, but I haven't heard this one. I feel like Dum Dum and vacuum cleaners have a really interesting history.

There was one person trying to kill themselves, another one was trying to start life with them. It's the circle of life. How have we got 420 episodes into this show without hearing the story about you sticking your dick in a vacuum cleaner? I forgot. I forgot. Is that what...

Fuck, what else have you done yeah is that what you want the low he thought the best you come on oh my god no it's not a flashlight dude no I was watching her she talks about if she had a dick, the first thing she would do is stick it in a vacuum cleaner And I'm watching and going Oh yeah, I've done that And it hit me Of course it's because of something That you saw in stand-up

You nerd I love comedy I rooted this household Appliance because comedy told me to No, no, no. It reminded me that I had done it. Oh, right. This was years ago.

I didn't see Celia's show. I'd fuck a vacuum cleaner and I'd go, yeah, good point, Celia. That's what I thought you were saying. No, just go straight to Kmart. Yeah, yeah. Okay, you didn't see Tommy's show and go, oh, I might get cancer. Might try and put my dick in cancer. So this is back in the drinking years.

Way back, even before comedy. This was way now, like mid-2000s, I think. It was... BC, before comedy. Before comedy. That was the time. Some might say I haven't started yet, but I... And now it's AD after doing bad at comedy.

What's that? Never mind. I used to... I never played any sport, but I used to be part of... Whoa, whoa, hang on, hang on. Just let's all let that settle in. It's true. I was not always the man that ran half a marathon,

but I do that now. Yeah, can we deviate and talk about this very quickly? You completed a half marathon the other weekend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was talking very quickly? You completed a half marathon the other weekend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was talking to you about it. What did you do? Can you tell these people what you were listening to to motivate you to do a half marathon?

Oh, yeah, yeah. I said it on... During the marathon, I just realised I wanted some motivation to keep going and I started listening to my podcast with Ben Lomax. It is like next level narcissism. You are a fucking freak. I was so erect during the entire run. My time would have been so much faster

if I wasn't having so much blood in my crotch. People thought I was smuggling Gatorade down there. I was like, no, I just love my comedy. No, I was friends with no, I just love my comedy. No, I... Yeah, no, I was... I was friends with a baseball team. A friend of mine who plays baseball, you know, in Victoria. Their end-of-season trip was in Adelaide,

and we were just getting drunk, and someone... I can't... This is where the story starts getting hazy. Someone dared someone else to do it, and they're like, I'm not going to do that. Disgusting. I'm like, fuck it, I'll give it a crack. And if anyone's listening and is going to do this at some point, be careful, is all I'd say. Because you think you should just go free fall,

but you really need to grip the shaft. Because if you don't grip it, it's really bizarre, because you hear the... You just... You lose control so quickly, it's frightening. Jesus Christ. So did you have to empty out the vacuum cleaner

to get your dick back, or... Did you have to go through all the carpet fluff to find your dick, or... My future children. Is that my dick? Oh, it's another marble. Okay. As much as I was mocking you for thinking that that's what you did before, there's going to be so many people in this room tonight going,

this gives me an idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's getting powered up at 11pm tonight? So were you doing this? You said your friends. Oh, they were watching. They were watching. What?

Yeah. Yeah. So you got your dick out in front of your friends. I have no dick shame. No, I'm proud of my dick. Through that. All right, let's start drinking again. Fuck it.

Yeah. Forget two-year sobriety. Can the front row do an impression of a vacuum cleaner and just... Oh, my God. So you... And this, again, drinking years. Oh, I wouldn't blame you for drinking. Were you drinking or not? I'm not even

going to say fucking... Probably not. It might have been in the morning. We were just bored. Fuck. You weren't drunk. I could have been hungover. There's definitely a lot of alcohol involved that whole trip. At some point. I don't want to make it seem like I'm making excuses. Why did I knew what I was doing? I just left the record show.

I fucking knew what I was doing. I reckon the fucking vacuum cleaner took up drinking after that. No, it necked itself on Fiona. So you got it out in front of multiple people, in front of your friends. Sure. And that wasn't, like, what was their attitude? Were they like, this is, they weren't surprised? No, no, no.

They weren't revolted? They were like, this is good? Were they cheering you on? No, they were all freaked out by it. Oh, right. This isn't normal behaviour. I hope anyone, we're aware that this is fucked. And I just thought it'd be a funny fuck thing to do. Yeah's so you hit the switch yeah the switch was on and like i said i

genuinely it was like i can't believe you you have to really agree yeah if you don't let it go it just gets sucked into the system at the very least was your dick a lot cleaner afterwards or it has never been clean so it's just there hogging down on there. No, no, no. I pulled it out very soon because it hurt. Oh, okay. Right.

Of course. I'm not just sitting there going, hey, hey, hey, look at this. No. I was like, fuck, I've lost my dick. Right. That's what it more felt like, yeah. Because that's the other thing. Was it a wreck?

Was it a wreck? No, no, no, no. It wouldn't fit if it was a wreck. That's... You need one of those. And also, was it... Did you have, like, the attachment still on or was the attachment...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know... Oh, yeah, good question. No, I reckon it was... We took the attachment off and it was this metallic bit. Right. Yeah, so the real dusty shit.

Yeah, yeah. You sure it wasn't the dust buster or anything like that? It was like the full vacuum cleaner? I think it was one of my mates actually dressed up as a vacuum cleaner. You know what boy strips are like. Toxic masculinity, folks. I am imprisoned in this masculinity. Right, right.

Wow. I love that you had to ask if he was erect, like the idea that he just, because that means he just gets turned on by the idea of thinking about himself fucking the vacuum cleaner. Well, that would make a lot more sense, though, wouldn't it? To be erect before you did it? Because...

Just me? Okay. Go on. I would think it'd be weird to be erect and then go for it. Right. Especially in the... Yeah. It was not a sexual thing.

I think it would be weird to get erect in there. Yes. You know? I think it would be weird to get erect in there Yes So it starts and you're like This is good fucking shit But if you didn't get erect The suction is supposed to be so good If you didn't get erect I would ask for my money back

Alright Dr Karl That's how they're selling it these days In those infomercials and stuff like that Boner or your money back Oh that's great like the guy that goes on the morning shows and like sucks up all the models yeah John O'Coleman gonna call me with this big yeah it's the new loving this it's the new steak knives that cut through a shoe we'll test how good this vacuum cleaner is. Has anyone else, by the way, done it? Oh, yes, you have.

Oh! Excuse me while I do some roving reporting. If you don't mind. Just this guy. I knew sitting up the front would pay off. Are you from Adelaide? No. Oh, okay.

Geelong. Geelong. Ah, the Adelaide of Melbourne. Yes. Very good. What are the vacuum cleaners like in Geelong? They suck pretty Melbourne. Yes. Very good. What are the vacuum cleaners like in Geelong? They suck pretty well. They suck pretty well.

So what was your context? Were you by yourself? I saw a movie when I was 13 and decided to give it a shot. Just any movie? You saw Star Wars when you were 13 and thought, I might fuck a vacuum cleaner. Saw Star Trek, beat me up, Scotty. What was the movie?

It was Spaceballs, and you know when... Who? This is the first time anyone's got an erotic idea from the movie Spaceballs. But how close was I? Star Wars, Spaceballs? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking good.

Very close. So Spaceballs, what happens in Spaceballs? Because the Death Star turns into a giant vacuum cleaner and takes all the air out of the planet. So you thought, oh, that reminds me of... I've got other things to suck out. That's a very loose inspiration, by the way. I feel like you were going to do that anyway.

Whatever movie you'd watched, you would have just seen a vacuum cleaner in it. I can't believe I'm judging you. I can't believe you gave someone in the audience their own mic. Thank you very much. I just wanted to hear them. But last question, were you wanking at this time? No.

No, so this is your first interaction with sexual... It's quite shocking. How are you these days? Any fucked up... Have you ever stuck your dick in a blender? I'd rather not say. Sorry? I'd rather not say. Sorry? I'd rather not say.

You'd rather not say. Oh, now we're going too far. Okay, cool. What was your name? Alex. You fucking idiot. Why would you say that name? Thanks, Alex.

Thanks, Alex. I wonder what movie we need to get him to watch in order to inspire him to finger Carl's prostate. E.T. E.T. All right, let's get our next guest out here. Folks, please welcome back into the Little Dumb Dumb Club, Nick Cody. Hi, mates.

Nick, the fans want to know the question on everyone's lips. When are you going to settle down and have a kid? Nick already had a kid. I wouldn't have known. I've been studying his Instagram for weeks and I haven't seen any hint of it. I said I wasn't going to put up photos of my child and I'm like, I'm missing out on fucking heaps of likes here. Fuck that.

It's the only reason to have one. Straight up. Yeah, it's the only reason to have one. I remember you saying that and then I reckon within five minutes of the birth, we had a pic. Yeah. I tried to put one up of him halfway out

and Lucian's like, I don't know. Doing it as a boomerang was pretty distasteful, I have to say. Just underneath written, make up your mind. No, congratulations on Weaponfrost's Cody. The second. Yeah. Weaponfrost's McGregor Cody, yeah.

How is baby life? It's good fun. Yeah? Yeah. I'm out here drinking on a Saturday night. It's pretty fucking crazy. You're a fucking dad of the year. He's with the friends.

Dad of the year. Dad of the year. Yeah, it's fine. We figured out a sleeping pattern. Good to go. I don't know who he is. He's got kids. But if you're going to have one, don't all stay in the same room at night time.

That's so fucking dumb. Split it up. Someone go get actual rest and then somebody else deal with the fucking shit machine. Yeah, right. Who deals with the baby then? Very nice. I was still wording that joke in my head. You got that. How do you reckon you're going to go with discipline? Do you reckon you're going to smack the kid around a bit or you're going to give it a bit of a tick shake?

You know what I mean? Yeah. That is the problem. I've got shaky hands already. I've got to make sure I... Fuck, your kid could have brain damage already. Just like its dad. Sometimes it's drooling and I'm like,

I hope I didn't do that. Yeah. Just like its dad. Sometimes it's drawling and I'm like, I hope I didn't do that. I got home from watching a UFC, got home at about 8 o'clock at night and a secret skill of mine, if you would call it a skill, is that I can be fucking maggot and you don't know. So my wife's like, do you want to help with the baby? I'm like, yes, I'm a great dad. And she's like, get in there. And I knocked about eight things over in the bathroom.

She's like, are you drunk? I'm like, I've got to go to bed for sure. Why did you give me this child? Well, that's how he was conceived. Just knocking things over. Oh! Also, we should have said this. This is one of those rare times where it's your cheat day today.

Oh, it is too. Fuck yeah. Yeah. I've already seen your Instagram. You've fucking eaten so much already today. Yeah, it's insane. Do not put a finger up my bum today. That's for sure.

That is not coming back. That's like a reverse That is not coming back. That's like a reverse Heimlich manoeuvre. Reverse polemic. That was funnier than fucking you gave it. Oh, fuck, there's a crowd here. That was funny and correct. The sweet double. So, it is your cheat day, and we thought, you know, this is a waste of you being on stage

for a whole hour without eating. Yes, I agree. So, we've ordered for you. Please. We've got Nick Carr, who's going to bring something on stage for us. Nick Carr, if you can bring something on stage for us. Yep, great. Thank you.

Yes. We have got... We've setting you a 10-cheeseburger challenge while you're on stage. I don't... Okay, I'll have a crack. I'll have a crack, but I don't reckon I can do it. Not with that attitude. Come on.

Fucking eat them. Because I know what people at home love. Listen to other people eat on a podcast. You didn't get to 130 kilos with salads. Just fucking eat your 10 cheeseburgers. No, the only reason i'm doubtful is i've had two pastas two hours ago and then some ice cream which i forgot to put on instagram so i'm actually really quite full but i'll have a crack oh well i thought this would be good because

you know i was really quite fond of fat jokes and i couldn't make them anymore so if you can do this by the end of the show i can do the fat jokes again yeah i love that's how biology works we had nick car deliver the uh burgers onto the I love that's how biology works. We had Nick Carr deliver the burgers onto the stage. There's meant to be ten, so we better just do an inventory and check that they're all there. I know some Uber Eats delivery people have been busted for eating out of the bag, but you know.

So here we go. Alright, number one. We'll start number one. You'd never get this kind of stuff in Melbourne, would you? A guy eating a hamburger on stage. Actually, this would come for entertainment in Adelaide, to be fair. That's what they're all doing tonight. Dill misses alcohol so much, but

he still wants his shits to look like that he drinks. Bloody. Oh, that'd be rude. Are you a McDonald's fan, Dill? No, I you a McDonald's fan, Dil? No, I'm a McDonald's fan. Do you remember me at all? I know you're a fan of food, but specifically McDonald's. Do you like the cheeseburger enough to be able to get the cheese?

I like his KFC. KFC's number one, for sure. The king. Then... The colonel. All hail King Sanders. He's the real king. Fucking Burger King can stop off.

Burger Colonel and King Sanders. Exactly. And Ronald Rooster. Is that where you call your dick before you put it in a vacuum cleaner? Red Rooster's my favourite. Same. Just to go in there to see the staff go, fuck, someone's come in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Man, they freak out.

I agree. You go in there and they've got a newspaper from two weeks ago and you're like, has anyone been in here for a fortnight? Can I get a chicken? And you catch one of them googling chicken. Oh no. Yeah.

Yeah, I like when they do those new ad campaigns where they're like, guess what, guys? We're doing fish and chips now. And it's like, you can barely get people to buy fucking nuggets. What are you fucking around with other animals for? Yeah. No, there is a lot of surprise. There is a lot of, like, yeah, you order chicken

and they're like, I'll see if we have any. A Red Rooster receipt with fish and chips on it is just a suicide note you haven't written yourself. If you don't fucking neck yourself after that meal, that is the saddest thing. Yeah. You don't know it's coming yet, but the universe knows what's happening. There used to be, when I used to live in Flemington, there was a red rooster across the road of mine. And I used to go there a lot.

But next to it, there was this kebab place that I used to have a tab with. Because I used to be... What? A tab? Yeah. That's a bad tab? That's not legal. No, it's not.

But they liked me. Because I was really... When I used to drink, I used to drink until I ran out of money. And then I'd go and I'm like, oh, can I have a kebab? I'll pay you tomorrow. Live right there. You can hunt me down. And they're like, yeah, fucking come on.

And then eventually they knew my name. They had a whole little notepad where they wrote down everything I owed them. So you were like a barfly in a Red Rooster. Not a kebab there. There was a kebab place next to the red rooster kebab fly yeah i have a lot of problems clearly yeah so you want a tab at a kebab van is another suicide note yeah yeah yeah so you're so one down i'm one down one down baby struggling already well i'll i'll keep at it don't worry yeah yeah we got yeah we got heaps of show to go should we get our next guest out here yes we'll One down. I'm one down. One down, baby. I'm struggling already. Well, I'll keep at it. Don't worry. Yeah, yeah. We got heaps of show to go. Should we get our next guest out here?

Yes. We've got a very special guest that we haven't announced, so we hope that you guys are excited by this. Yeah. First time he's been on a live show. Very excited to have him out here. Folks, please welcome back into the little dum-dum club, Glenn Robbins.

Glenn Robbins! Wow. Just a couple of comedy legends in double denim, you know what I mean? Fuck yeah. At this point, I normally start off with a song. Hit the tape. Tell me when will you be mine? Yeah, get fucked mate.

This guy gets it. Oh Russell, fuck a good one dickhead. That's alright mate, seriously. No, that's alright. I'm part of the old club. Sorry? I've had my prostate checked with the... Yeah.

By applause. By applause. Who loves it? Don't say by applause because there's a... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because there's some issue with applause. By clapping. By clapping.

Just the guys, by the way Who's done had the prostate with the finger You too Oh not many One guy's clapping fairly eagerly over there I think that guy's getting it now So How stupid is this I went into the doctor now. So, how stupid

is this? I went into the doctor and he said, we're going to do a check-up, blah, blah, blah. I didn't pick it.

He said, okay, first of all, underpants down, didn't pick it. Okay? Hang on, so you didn't know how it was done?

I was having something else checked at the time. Oh, a senile wart? Sorry? A senile wart? I've had those burnt off as time. Oh, a senile wart? Sorry? A senile wart? I've had those burnt off as well. Oh, really? You get them burnt off? Nice.

People don't record this, do they? They don't... Am I going to get a root tonight if I tell you something? I'll put the Uncle Arthur voice on if you do. I better not tell you that story. Anyway, classic. Classic Con the Fruiterer. Yeah.

And more waiting on it. Thank you very much. So anyway, and then got down. I had to get up on the bed. No underpants on. And then... Hang on, there's a bed in the Doctors? Yeah.

Is there? It's just like a bench? It's a bench. I don't look at that and go, oh, I could go to sleep there. So then... What do you think? It's a hostel, you fucking idiot. Then he said, draw your knees to your chest.

Ah, yes. Yep, yep. Still didn't pick it. He thought you were doing yoga. And then he said, and I'd be interested to see what you, he then said, bear down. Oh. Bear down. Bear down.

Bear down. Bear down. What do you think that means? Adam Richard has fallen. Correct for two points. Well done. Yeah, bear down. Bear down.

You go. What do you think it means? So you're there with your knees to your chest. Yes. So, I don't know, like put your arse, like try and lower your arse more onto the... I don't know. Well, I could be wrong, but I think it means try to go to the toilet. What?

Oh, what? Is that what you think? means try to go to the toilet. What? Is that what you think? Is this like, where does bear come into? Is that like, does a bear shit in the woods? Yeah. But don't. So I did that and I still hadn't worked it out. So you didn't even check, you just tried to shit

anyway. Nah, I've worked this out. What court would believe that? Well, he did say bear down, so of course I did a shit. Surely. Watch out, it's a grizzly. Surely the doctor would have used the more medical term. I did sell the story to...

To be fair, it was a great brown. It was. I actually sold the story to New Ideas, so don't laugh. I got 10 grand. So then bear down and then I was looking at a poster on the wall and I went oh what a very nice poster on the wall

and he's gone up and I'm bearing down and I've got to be honest I think I fucking won he went wow that's the toughest ass I've ever had. That was a tough one.

It was like he was getting the, you know when you want to get the last jelly bean and you just can't quite get it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, I live to tell the tale. You are going to become a real icon of the gay scene now because it's like, not only is he famous, but he's got a real tight ass yeah

and you still hadn't clicked at that point no that's right when are you going to check my prostate so anyway there you go is it multiple times in your edge or just the one time do you have to get it regularly checked? Did you go back the next day? I have only had it done the one time because now you do the blood test. It's all you guys out there who do the blood test. And I've done the... We also get, being at my age, you also get where they send out the little capsule and you've got to put the pill in the fridge and send it off to the... The pooper scooper, yeah.

I'm on the front foot. I just send in my shit now. I'm just flinging it. So you... Wait, you said fridge. You do poo and then you put it in your own fridge? Yep. The bear down exam, yeah. It's a polar bear.

If you were Dil, you would have come home drunk from the pub and gone, Oh, fuck, chocolate ice cream I forgot. What's the peanut butter doing in the fridge? Sorry to be talking about this, especially to the Russell Coit fans over here. Sorry about talking about your arsehole to a Coit fan. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

Anyway. So you put your own poo in your fridge. I didn't know that. Is that a thing that's recommended? By applause. By applause, who's done this as well? Who's shat in their fridge? A Russell Coyne fan.

Well, I think you have... So we should. Yeah. So we should. All right. Fucking Adelaide. At this point this guy's fucking talking more than Cody.

Can you shut up? You do what you have to do, then you put a little scoop in it and you put it into a thing and then you, I think you do two lots. Two lots? Yeah. Two scoops. Greedy guts. At two now, at two. Any more bits?

At two, at two. Goodops greedy got to now at to any way any more bits to we got to yep sorry well no good point don't yes don't mix your two shits up yes I need put him in the fridge and then you don't looking at him, Glenn. I know. He's like a T-Rex. And then you send him off and you wait for the results to come. But I just have to go back. Why does the fridge need to be involved? Why do you need to... Why can't you do a shit and then put it in the post pack and send it off

straight away? Just take your shit straight in the mailbox, I say. Do the doctors ever call back and say, it appears your insides are very cold? You've got a very chilly belly. Turn the heater on or something, for God's sake. All you did was send me a packet of peas.

What the fuck's wrong with you? You're right. You could just go with the envelope and fire away. Don't even have an envelope. Just put a stamp on your shit and put it in a post box. Good point. Anyway. Just an unnecessary use of your fridge into this.

I just don't like the idea of going to get the ice cream and going, oh, that's right, that's where my shit used to be. It's risky. You need to buy a second. They should provide you with a second fridge that you can just have for the week while you're storing it. Unless you did it in the ice tray. Oh, that's not bad. Yeah, because they probably need to...

If you had diarrhea, and you just used the ice tray. Yeah, they probably need to do multiple tests, so it probably suits them to have little kind of... And that's a separate section that you wouldn't have to worry about anymore. Right. Yeah. Speaking of which, Dill, keep eating, come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We bought ten cheeseburgers.

They'll give it to the fans. They'll love it. All right. I'll keep going. I'll keep going. Yeah, yeah. Have another one, please. That's better. Yeah, okay.

I'm just back from Bali, by the way. Oh, shit. The man that shits... Don't say applause and don't say Bali. Yeah. The man that shits in his fridge enjoys Bali. What do you fucking know? I did get...

Last time I went, I got barley belly, and I had to come back for a meeting at a restaurant in the main road, and I wasn't feeling great, and I thought I'd go for a walk in the botanical gardens. It's always good. If you've got barley belly, just walk really far away from toilets.

Yeah, yeah. Just go, I've got to get in the wilderness. And... I've got to do... Did you think you were Russell Coyne at that point? Yeah. If, yeah. Just go, I've got to get in the wilderness. And, I've got to do pictures. Did you think you were Russell Coyne at that point? Yeah. If you've got barley belly,

just head to the post office and chuck in a few samples. Anyway, I got halfway across the road, Domain Road, someone tooted the horn and I shat myself.

Whoa! So then, then I had to go to my car, I can't believe what I'm talking about here, go to my car because I knew there was my car. I can't believe what I'm talking about here. Go to my car because I knew there was trouble downstairs. I can't believe I'm talking about this.

Anyway, so I'm in my car, pants down. I checked. I've got another story too. I checked. Pulling my pants down reminds me of another story. Very interesting. Well, he's two for two so far. And then, so I'm there naked checking out the damage Pulling my pants down reminds me of another story. Very interesting. Well, he's two for two so far.

And then, so I'm there naked checking out the damage and I swear a couple of women power walking past me went, there's Uncle Arthur with a shitty arse in the car there. No, I actually went on a friend's speedboat and he said to me, have you skied before? And I've gone, yeah, I and I've gone yeah before here no worries at all he goes you want a wetsuit bottom because why do I want a wetsuit bottom and you know why he asking whether you know you want to wish you haven't skied before obviously you should always bottom because anyway so he said you want one or two skis I've gone I'll just go the year I'll get the turn I'll drop down to the one and anyway so I'm going along on the two and the boat comes

together way which causes a wake and then I'm going up and down up and down and my ass lines up perfectly with the top of the water and I hit the water and how good is it I got a I got a prostate check aate check. A prostate check. Did you know what was happening at this point, or are you still unaware? I then... I thought, whoa, okay, so I got back into the boat, and I said, I don't feel great.

You'd better take me back to the house. Did you meet with Poussidon? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't get it salute god of the dirty water so we're going back, I'm not feeling great and they're both facing that way and I'm sitting at the back of the boat

and I look around and I'm going oh that's a bit embarrassing I've brought in some mud with me and I swear I went like this, I went... No! Who smells mud? Yeah. Anytime I see mud, I'm like, I don't know for sure,

but I'm happy to take its word for it. Best case scenario. I mean, that dirt's usually fine, but what if you mix it with water? What would that smell like? Anyway, could I have brought it any lower? I apologise. The whole night is about... The great trilogy of stories that all involve your arse in some way.

But good to not go to Bali. Fuck Bali, that's what I say. Which reminds me, I'll pull this out right now. Whoa! All right, I say. Which reminds me. I'll pull this out right now. Alright, I'll get the vacuum cleaner. Confirmed as of right now, as of tonight, the Costa Mui International Podcast Festival. Yes.

June 11 to 16 next year. Yes. The final one. The final one The final one So if you've ever If you thought If you've missed out On going the last two

This is your last chance The Costa Mui International Podcast Festival June 11 till 16 We've got a special code online If you get Direct Alright

Oh Jesus She sounds like me Well she's a lady So it sounds more like me To be fair. So you can book accommodation right now through the Ozo. There's a special discount if you put podcast 19. You get special rates.

You get heaps of awesome, cool things this year. So, yeah, that's a confirmed thing. Nice one. Awesome. Glenn, any interest? Think of all the exports you and your crazy anus could get up to over there. Yeah. I haven't been to Thailand since the incident.

The tsunami? Correct, yeah. The tsunami of your ass or... Round of applause. Who has been to any one of the two from the last two? That's a lot. Yeah. Awesome. Yeah, one to go, one of the two from the last two? That's a lot. Yeah, one to go, one to go.

So that's very exciting. It's literally going to happen. Last time. Nice one. We were thinking about doing five, but we did three. Should we get another guest on? Should we do a bit of rotation? Yeah.

I'll keep at the burgers backstage. Please. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come out in a bit and check in with how the progress is going. Yeah. All right. Folks, let's get our next guest out here. Please welcome... Oh, give it up for Dilruba Jai Singer.

And welcome back into the little dum-dum club, Tom Ballard. Oh. Hello. Hello. Hello, Adelaide. I heard talk about prostates and my ears were ringing. You are overly dressed for this podcast. I know, I'm trying to raise the fucking tone this show with people sticking their dicks in vacuum cleaners

and shitting all over the place. You got a full suit on. You got a nice little tie on. I came from a function, yes. Oh. Yes. Okay. Yep.

From a job. Job, job. A job, job? Yeah. Yes. I work at the government. I go through poo samples. Oh.

And tell people who has bowel cancer. No, it was a Greens event, and then after this I'm going to a gay Halloween party. And I'm not dressing up. And who are you going as? We were talking backstage. I think I'm Tom Hanks in court in Philadelphia.

I was going to say, you don't much look like gay Dracula. I want to suck your cock. What a wonderful piece of comedy there. I think we all enjoyed that. Sorry it was too lowbrow for your fucking AIDS joke. Gay Halloween sounds cool because what you guys get up to

spooks the shit out of me, quite honestly. Is that where you just come on a man until they look like a ghost? Oh God, I'm at a gay Halloween party. It's March. You're just at a gay club. Oh, I'm terrified. Say something, Dick.

No, I'm roasting you in a bit. I'm holding on to every single stone. I couldn't be bothered dressing up. Have you ever dressed up for anything in your entire life? For my wedding. You dressed up for someone who was into it. What? Nothing.

I've got a tux. I've got a tux. I dress up for this podcast sometimes. No, I mean like a costume. Oh, yeah, a costume. Like getting in the spirit of a costume party. Like if I had a costume party, I would not invite you. Right. If I had any party, I would not invite you.

Sure. I did get invited to a costume party once, and I could not be bothered, so I literally just drew like a black mark. Oh, no. On your whole face? On the whole face? No, no, no, no.

No. I'm my friend, Duruq Jaisingha. It's a tribute. It's a loving tribute. No, I drew a very small black hole in my forehead and said, I'm here as John Lennon. The bell of the ball. Yeah.

People did not like it. And sorry to Yoko for coming to your party like that The guests didn't like it because they were hoping it was a melanoma No, I had that checked Do you get any dress ups? You must get a lot of stuff of people dressing up as Russell Coy for Halloween That would be a pretty popular Halloween costume Oh look, I did go to New Zealand once for an Uncle Arthur look-alike competition are you big in New Zealand am I ever I know it was really weird

because it was at a racecourse and the crowd was over where the crowds meant to be but they had the uncle Arthur competition in the middle of the race course for the small stage audience were the people competition in the middle of the race course with a small stage. Oh, I thought that would be a stadium event. The only audience were the people competing in the lookalike competition. I got up on stage as Uncle Arthur and went, would you please welcome the next Uncle Arthur up on stage? And one by one they all got up and went, oh, boy, I'm Uncle Arthur. And it was like a dream you have on pizza.

It's just like bizarre. Anyway, we all went back and had sex you know New Zealanders are like you know that I'll be the weird shit you know by applause any new New Zealanders in tonight and uncle Arthur orgy that is hot because at home sometimes with my partner, when the lights go out, she fucking hates it, I will drop into character. And I start off with a bit of Russell Coit. Is this your foreplay if you say, do you want to go on a bit of an all Aussie adventure?

Yeah, all Aussie adventure. Find a little beaver somewhere. And then I move into a bit of Kel Knight with magic fingers and then I go and what would your uncle either is it or not and she fucking shits herself if you got proposition for a threesome with two girls called Kath and Kim you'd have to say yes absolutely yeah is there a Kath and there is there a Kim in tonight? No, I said if you've got proposition, you can't seek it out. Come on.

We're all friends. She probably prefers fucking you in character, otherwise she's just rooting the guy that shits in the fridge. That turns her on big time. Can I call you Rob Sitch? That's not even one of my characters. What are you doing? All right, should we get another... Man, you know, we're having so much fun.

We're going quite long. We should get another guest out. Yeah, okay. Let's get our next guest. Cody, you're going to sub out. Nick Cody, everybody. Nick Cody. Folks, please welcome back into the little dumb-dumb club,

Jen Fricker. Yes. Hi. Frixie, thanks for being here. Tell us about your prostate check. Well, Dick, hey, so I was listening to your station. I was like, fuck, am I the only person on this podcast who hasn't had a finger up their ass?

And then I was like, no. Just not for medical purposes. Yeah, yeah, like in an informal setting. Yeah. Yeah. No. Yeah. The doctor just did it off the clock.

Yeah. It was pro bono. Sounds like there was a bono involved, that's for sure. Yeah. The doctor just did it off the clock. Yeah. It was pro bono. Sounds like there was a bono involved, that's for sure. Yeah. Do you want to tell us more about that experience or not really? I want to hear everything. Yes. We don't have to.

We don't have to. No, please. What I was talking to you about backstage, where a lot of people don't bring things to the podcast. We do a lot of work, surprisingly, and have things to talk about and whatever. Spoken like a person, that's absolutely true as well. Yeah, yeah. I live a life.

Look at that thing, there's like ten words on there. Carl getting a finger up the arse and going, yes! Yeah, I'm writing it down as the finger's going. That's content! That's what he found up there, some content. Isn't it weird when you're getting checked for cancer and going, this could be something.

That would be great as you're getting your prostate examined, just turning back and going What are we? Yeah I get diagnosed with cancer I won't tell Tommy straight away I'll tell him on the show Yeah

You would though Yeah Totally Totally Totally So But Having said all that

Backstage you said Oh no I've got a story And I'm like Oh my god People don't bring stories to this podcast So I fucking loved it. Yeah, I was kind of saving it for you guys.

For us. You said this story's so fucked, you saved it particularly for us. Because to be honest, I like soft test stories out on people at work and they're like normal, decent people and then I tell them a story and then we don't talk until the Christmas party. So I feel like, Yeah, so anyway. So I got invited to this party on a boat and I don't like them, but I was like...

You don't like boats? I don't like boats. I don't like parties on boats. But I'm just like, I don't know. I feel like I'm at a point in my life... Do you think we should stop the boats, Jen? Is that what you're saying? Because I have 70 minutes of material about that.

I'm so confused because you're dressed like a young liberal. Anyway, so I was on this boat and... I just think life begins at conception. Yeah, right. I was on this boat and boat parties, you're just trapped there for a few hours and you have to make the best of it, I guess. Yeah. Much like the people...

Anyway. That was me trying to be political and then just bailing. Oh yeah, whether or not the boats are playing cards and stuff. It's hard. I get it. It's hard. You've got to fill the time. I get how hard it is. Do you like the people on the boat that invited you to the boat party against

boats generally? I'm against boat parties. Boats are fine. I have no problem. But the people who invited you on said party they're boat people. Oh. Oh, you're saying am I against boat people? I'm trying to determine whether your hatred of this whole event

was the boat thing or also the people on the boat. I'm pro parties. I'm pro people. I don't like being on a boat party. Having a party with people. I'm pro parties. I'm pro people. I don't like being on a boat party. Having a party with people. Thank you for helping. Thanks everyone for sitting through that.

Sorry. Is anyone still unclear? Unclear as to why they've come here? Alright, sorry. Get to the bit where you shove a vacuum cleaner up your pussy. Come on. That was the other thing I was thinking about actually. Alright, sorry, get to the bit where you shove a vacuum cleaner up your pussy. Come on. That was the other thing I was thinking about, actually. Oh, nice.

That there's literally like this sex toy that all of my friends keep talking about and it literally sucks on your clit. Oh. And part of me is, oh. That sounds fun and something I'll never be involved with. I know. That sounds like what you're going to dress as tonight. Yeah.

What? In your Halloween party. Gay Halloween. All right. All right. Anyway, back to the boat. So you're on this party that's on dry land. Continue.

Fuck, I didn't think it would take this long. Tommy, were you listening or not? Guys, a boat is like a car, but it's on the sea. Right. Okay. Right. Anyway, so I'm on this boat, and I know one person there, and I'm trying to push myself to be more social,

so I start talking to these other people who look awkward on the boat, and they're all lawyers. And so I'm like, oh, what's the most fucked up thing you've worked on? And one of them works for like a work compensation law firm thing. And he's like, oh, yeah, I actually just finished this case where this guy got $500,000 because he fell off a ladder at work. And I was like, oh, okay, that seems like more than what I would imagine. And he's like, yeah, he didn't want to go for workers' comp

because he thought it was God's wrath that had pushed him off the ladder. he thought it was God's wrath that had pushed him off the ladder. He thought it was God's wrath because he's an elderly Greek Orthodox man who fucked a dog. I am so sorry that I delayed us getting to that. Yes. Yes. I just apologise profusely. I now know why you saved it for us and didn't do it on Triple J.

Yeah. Text in 0439. It's 0438, but whatever. Great story. Great story. Is that the end of it? Fucking hell, man. Wow, what else do you want?

I want to go back to the vacuum cleaner story and the... I mean, it's just... I didn't realise that we're all so over old men fucking girls. Apparently it's passe now, but like... We've become jaded. Yeah, you're just like, oh, whatever. But like, so yeah, so he thought that he... God was punishing him

and that's why he didn't deserve any money from his employer for falling off this ladder. And then this guy was like, yeah, and we had to put together, like, evidence for his case. Hang on, evidence that he did fuck the dog? Yeah. Because basically the employer didn't want to pay him because they were like, well...

He's a dog fucker. He's a dog fucker a dog was it con the fruit fuck there's a lot of things going on here so this lawyer is like yeah so i had to go through To his dog? Yeah. Good boy. It's just nudes, I guess. Sit, roll over, bear down. Bear down. Knees up.

Dinner time. Dinner time. But then, yeah, so this lawyer had to take all these screenshots of this because basically the guy had been texting his wife being like, I'm not coming home tonight because he'd like take the dog on a... What? Romantic holiday, I guess? What? So after the wife finds out,

he's literally going to be in the doghouse. Yeah, he's moving in. That's not a punishment for him. Yeah. This is what happens when you have gay marriage, ladies and gentlemen. It's a slippery slope and it's a slippery ladder that he was on as well.

It was indeed. Jen, we've got a bit of a surprise for you. We've got him here tonight and he's a slippery ladder that he was on as well. It was indeed. Jen, we've got a bit of a surprise for you. We've got him here tonight and he's got the dog with him. So anyway. Why would you bring this up to a lawyer? Wow. Well, because I was just

saying, oh, workers' comp, that might be interesting. Because I'm, anyway, so I was like... By the way, I love that you're at this party and you're worried about going because you're like oh i'm a bit anxious about being in social situations i hope i don't embarrass myself and say the wrong thing and then a guy makes a beat line for you and go i know a guy who fucked a dog like well i'm off the hook hi i just saw as well like he's saying like this couple have been married for like 40 years and like imagine being cheated on for your own dog. You know?

Did the employer know about the dog fucking prior to the incident? No, he knew that he was... He brought all this up. Yes! This is a classic case of Roe versus Wade versus Fido. Imagine when all the dogs get together and have a chat. The other dogs are going, I just had to chase a stick. What do you have to do?

Yeah, don't worry about it. No, I don't want to. Hey, the dog's like, you don't have to worry about prostate checks for me anymore. That's what they were all talking about during that poker game. Tough week at the office. Yeah. Well, actually, it's pronounced poke him game, but whatever.

What happened with the case? He got the money. He got the money. So he's a dog fucker who got paid $500,000. Hell yeah, this guy's my hero. There's hope for all of us. That sounds like a lucrative business. And then I was like, what happened to the dog?

And he's like, oh, I don't know, that's not my business. I'm a workers' compensation lawyer. It got flowers at least. You've got to deal with that in family court. Yeah, exactly. Fuck. Anyway. But every time something bad happens to me now,

I'm like, is this because I fucked a dog? That's the bit I love. The idea that he's up at the top of the ladder and he's probably thinking about it just then. He's like, can't believe I've gotten away with it for all these years. I've ordered God's wrath for this. Whoa! Halfway down, I fucking knew it. I knew my time was coming.

God does work in mysterious ways. I've got to say, I might become religious after this. I'm buying in. PTSD. What is Let's get PTSD. What is it called? PTSD. PTSD, yeah. PTSD, playing snakes and ladders. Yep.

Technically a joke. Should we get our final guest out here? Should we just get him to bring the cordless mic out with him so we don't have to sub anyone out? Yeah, sure. Okay, yeah. Folks, please welcome... You may know him from being in Adelaide. Please welcome back into the little

Dum Dum Club, Nick Capa! Hey, mate. You should sit here. No, you can stand. Royalty can sit. I'll stand. The venue did insist that you don't touch Royalty can sit. I'll stand. I'll stand. The venue did insist that you don't touch anything in here. So that's fair.

What are you getting come up with for fucking a dog, Nick? What? Sorry? What? No, nothing. Where am I? What? Sorry?

I was just saying that out of all the people on stage, you're the one who's most likely fucked a dog, and I was wondering when that's coming back to bite you on the arse. Oh, well, you know, I don't know. All I was thinking of, con the fruiterer, more like con the fido-rer-rer-rer. Technically a joke. Anyway, guys, I've been Nick Cabot. Thank you very much.

technically a joke anyway guys it's been Nick Cavan thank you very much that was as good as Pooh Sidon to be fair yeah yeah it was up there we can cut this bit out

but if anyone's backstage with beer if they could bring me one that would be great and you can cut this out I fucked a dog if anyone back there has got a dog, that'd be great. Hey, there we go.

Hang on, hang on. Cody, why are you out here? To fuck a dog or bring... Oh, beer. Right, cool. It's actually the smoothest, most refreshing... I've got one payment to go. Fuck off.

Then I'll drink whatever. Thank you. Thank you, thank you Nick. Can I just ask, all of the people are fans yet? There's a beautiful lady up the front here. We don't call them fans. There's a lady in the front row that you're asking. How old are you? 93.

93? Are you Carl's little sister? 93. Oh, that's fantastic. Do you listen to the podcast regularly? This is your son? No, not your son. You've come by yourself.

She comes to the door. How old old are you don't do that what's wrong with you well she's 90 seriously let's just say she's younger that's how it works well good on good on you do you live at home no she lives on the street, Glenn. She's out and about. My mother's 96 and she's in a... Well, she's in jail, to be honest. I've got to be honest. But you're out and about, so good for you. Anyway, what's your name?

Thelma. Thelma is a comedy legend who comes to a whole bunch of shows. Big round of applause for Thelma for making an effort. Shout out to Thelma. I think. Thelma is a comedy legend who comes to a whole bunch of shows. Big round of applause for Thelma for making an effort. Shout out to Thelma, everyone. Is there anyone here older than Thelma? No? No. Thelma, up for Costa Mui next year?

Sorry? Are you up for coming to Thailand next year, when we go to Thailand next year? No. That's a no. Thelma, what's it like taking a break from seeing comedy? Thelma, I just hope your sense of smell has disappeared

by this day. It's like seeing spoken word pedophile hour. What? I don't know what I said. I just had to come back from you and I didn't have enough ammo. What the fuck are you on about? I was just at Dum Dum Club.

Sorry, guys. I've been double booked. What was your favourite part, Thelma? What was your favourite story? Will you go and tell some of the stories to your friends down at the social club? I've gone out straight away. Well, I can remind you of a few of them.

We've had something with a dog. I shat myself on a boat. We all bring something to the table, I think. I think we've all had something up our arse at some stage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wish. No, Tom. Hey, that's later on at the Halloween party.

When you stick a pumpkin up there or whatever. Hey, that's later on at the Halloween party. When you stick a pumpkin up there or whatever. We need an update from Dil on how he's doing with these ten cheeseburgers. Where you at, champ? How you going? He died. I ate two.

You ate two? Yeah, yeah. And the other guest that's meant to arrive soon ate a couple. I moved to popcorn because the burgers were getting too cold. I did four, but then I thought, oh, let's just do five. And then I called her. Nice. Nice. Quick, very, look, we haven't got too long to go,

but a quick shout out to all the people that got dragged along. Have we enjoyed it so far? Still hard to tell because there could be like twice as many people that still didn't react to that. It's hard to tell, hard to tell because there could be like twice as many people that still didn't react to that. It's hard to tell. We do have one more special, very special guest, don't we? Yeah, we do. Someone that's been on a recent

episode that was really popular on a recent episode. Someone that's been on a recent episode. An international guest. International. And they're still in the country and we thought we'd get them out here because, you know, they... We got such a great reaction from you guys. We had them interviewed on the show, but that's not really their strong

suit. Like, their stand-up is kind of... That's where they really shine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we thought we'd get them out here to do a bit of their act for you. Well, and a bit of panel at the same time. We'll see what happens. Oh, really? Okay, cool. Well, please, folks, please welcome to the stage, all the way from the United States of America, Pablo Francisco!

Pablo, nice to see you, man. Yeah, man, it's good to be here, dude. You Australians, man, I love it, okay? You're always out there, you're like, hey, g'day, mate. It's wild. It's fucking crazy. Man. That's classic us, Pablo. You've summed us up very quickly. Oh, man, you're Benjamite. Wow, dude.

Australia, you're like, wild, man. Holy shit. You guys, like, say, I was walking down the street the other day, and Arnold Schwarzenegger there, he's like, yeah, g'day, mate. Oh, right, right Schwarzenegger there, he was like, yeah, good day, man. Oh, right, right. Cool, cool.

It sounds like... I was like, even Arnie's getting into it, dude. Whoa, whoa. It's wild, man. I went to this Chinese restaurant. Oh, man. Okay. I was like, that's one duck sandwich, man.

And he was like, Arnie was there, too, except he was like a Chinese Arnie. Oh, wow. He was like... How did that go? Yeah, Chinese Arnie. Oh, how did that go? Me so sorry. Oh, God. It was wild, man. I'm like, what you got to be sorry about, Arnold?

What you got to be sorry about? He's like... I can see why you guys wanted this guy back on. This is electric. This is great stuff. Yeah, and then all of a sudden, Arnie came out. And he's like... And I'm like, whoa, dude, there's two Arnies. There's Chinese Arnie and then all of a sudden, Arnie came out and he's like, and I'm like, whoa, dude, there's two Arnies.

There's Chinese Arnie and then there's Arnie Arnie. And they start being like, fuck it. Chinese Arnie's like, yo, I got cream of Samyang Kai. And I'm like, yo, dude, this is Arnie Central. And they're fucking and sucking. And I'm like, get itay mate. I'm the greatest American comedian there ever was.

That is weird that that's the worst thing on here after all we've talked about. I think this is going way better than last time we had him on. I don't know. The audience is a bit more primed for it. Yeah, I thought we were going to get worse accents than that.

I think that's nearly acceptable. Yeah, no. I mean, I have to ask Pablo, and I hesitate to ask, have you met anyone of, like, Indian or Pakistani origins? Oh, dude, yes, man. Have you been to Australia? Man, yeah, I was. Have you? Really?

I went to an Indian restaurant, right? And there's fucking Indian Arty and I'm like yo Indian Arty what's up and he's like Indians eat naan no we got it I know

I just went over all of our heads but thanks for letting us know dude I was in Africa I was in Africa, right? Oh, yeah, hi. Okay, I was in Africa, right? You know Africa? And then Arnie was there, man. And he was like, yeah, clean water.

I'm the best American comedian in the world. It sounds like Arnie's kind of like the Forrest Gump of your life. He's just kind of... He's just always there, dude. All over the world, man. Yeah, man. And it's topical too, which is what I like the most. Yeah.

Yeah. Hey, Trump. What's with that? What if Donald Trump was Arnie? What if Donald Trump was Arnie? I reckon he'd be like, hey, get in the chopper. Oh, okay. It'd say similar things to Arnie, I say.

Yeah, that just sounded like, what if Arnie was Arnie? Fake news. Fake news. Fake news. Fake news. Fake news. It's fake news. It's fake news. Fake news. Fake news. It's fake news. Fake news.

Yeah, man. Fuck yeah! I'm the greatest American comedian in the world. Pablo, my favourite film, like Carl, is Star Wars. And my favourite character for that is Yoda. Have you ever run into Yoda? Oh, man, that's so weird. My favorite character for that is Yoda.

Have you ever run into Yoda? Oh, man, that's so weird. What would it be like if Arnold Schwarzenegger was Yoda? I think it'd go a little something like this, huh? The chopper, get in. Wait. I fucked up just then.

Seriously. No, you gotta... Give me another chance, man. What if Yoda was Asian? Oh, wow. We're not even doing that anymore. That ancient proverb.

What if Yoda was Asian? Okay, right? What if Yoda was Asian? Okay, right? What if Yoda was Asian? Give it up for Gay Al, everyone. For those guys at home, they're all doing the eyes. Sorry, everyone. No, it's alright. Fuck, the floor now looks like Tom Ballard's Halloween party.

That seems unnecessary. Oh man, what would that be like if Arnie was there, dude? If Arnie was gay I'd love to hear it. I think it'd be a little bit like... I don't mean no likey. Yeah, man. Are you shaking for just Asian people? I thought that Asian X and I thought it was a gay thing. That's weird. What if an Asian person was gay?

Oh, dude, I don't believe that that has ever happened. But we can just use our imagination. I think we'll do something like this. Ah! Oh, okay. I think it goes a little something like this YAAAGH YAAAGH O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O I'm Michael K. Awww. No, there's no character in that though. Shit, man. Fuck. Well, it's so much about con problems. Come on, Paul Williams.

What if Yoda was gay? Dude, you're really fucking pushing me. Sorry. I'm a artist and I should always be pushing myself, right? I'm gay, Yoda, no one's ever done it. How we going there, Thelma? I hope we haven't lost you Hasn't comedy got better over the years?

She's thinking, I wish I was dead at 80 The first time you took a bid down This is like Tony Hawk doing that 780 spin for the first time. Should we do like a real Rocky type thing? Should we pipe it in? You need silence. Shut the fuck up! You're about to see some actual art guys. Dude, in the butt, there is no tribe.

The king. The king. People said that I cooked you, John. And I am here to tell you that gay Yoda exists. You will not erase us! You want to meet Trump? Wow, this is the ultimate redemption story. He's won these people over. Imagine people here going,

I remember the good old days when we used to talk about stuff on people's arses. Right, now we have Paul Foote. Right now, we're in Paul Foot. Alright folks, I reckon we've got to wrap this up. For another week, give a big applause for Pablo Francisco. Tom Brown. Shane Quicker. Nick Barnard. Ken Robbins.

Matt Coffey, can go and sing it Guys thanks for watching this We'll see you next time Sing it And blow me down they've done it again Wow I learned a lot this week And blow me down their tech've done it again. Wow. I learned a lot this week.

And blow me down, their tech has done it again. Really? Yeah. No. Yeah. What? The last, like, minute is fucked. Oh, why?

Because his recorder died. Oh. So we're using the backup audience mic that I had on stage. And how does it sound? Sounds fine. What? The fuck is wrong with the world? Why can we not have one good episode?

I know. Well, no, we, I mean, we have good, good live episodes, you mean? You know, when we're just in the, when we're just in the sitting room, it's fine. Let's just have all our live shows in my apartment from now on. Okay. That's way easier. Yeah. All right.

What can this, what can this apartment seat? What seat? Yeah. What do you reckon? I was going to have a. We can't really. Yeah, all right. What can this apartment seat? What? Seat? Yeah, what do you reckon? I was going to have a – We can't really do that, can we? I was going to have a party on grand final day and I just had to go, I don't think I can do it. How many people do you think I could get in here?

If I moved furniture, if I got creative – I was going to say 20 but you'd have to have a lot of people sitting on your bed. Do you really want that to happen? No, not really. Well, maybe. Maybe at the end of the party. If I moved this table that we're sitting at outside and just had kind of chairs, yeah, 20 to 30. What is the – look, in the aim of getting an episode that has good tech, that is perfect tech,

and by going with that logic that if we do it uh studio apps are always perfect tech because because we're controlling it nothing goes wrong yeah right i mean i feel like you're jinxing this bit right now so let's not get let's not get carried away let's work on that let's work on that assumption so if we want a perfect live app that means we've got to do it on our equipment with us in control of it yeah which means we have to not necessarily, let's not have it in your house because you won't want that. You don't want everyone knowing where you live. No. So if we had it in a very small room where we don't need any amplification,

so just a small amount of people using this same tech, how many people is the maximum we could do it in front of? Like 20 people? Yeah, 20 to 30. It basically would have to be we're not doing a live show. The live show just becomes you watching us do a normal ep. Yes. So we're not coming out.

We're not doing a big intro. There's no fireworks. Yeah. It's just this happens and you happen to be sitting in the room watching it happen. Right. That's the only way we can guarantee for a show with an audience. Yeah. But then would we want them mic'd up?

Would we want the people in the room mic'd up? No. Because that's a wrinkle that I can't really control. No, no, no. We don't have that. Okay. They can bleed into the mic, surely. That'll work.

And if they laugh too much, we have to tell them to shut up. That's not bad. I mean, maybe we could like, maybe that's an idea for a future live show. We just sell it as an ultra boutique experience and tickets are like a hundred bucks. No, we don't even call it a live show. We just sell tickets

to a studio web. But what would you feasibly, what would you don't even call it a live show. We just sell tickets to a studio web. Yeah. Yeah. But what would you – feasibly what would you think we could charge for a ticket to that? Oh, it would just be normal. It would just be normal. But it just happened to be that it would be not –

I want to start taking these cunts for all their work. No, no. We can't be too much like that because then if we don't charge too much, then the pressure is off us as well. It's like, oh, it's just a studio web. It's fine. That's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're not playing anything up. We don't have too much, then the pressure's off us as well. It's like, oh, it's just a studio ep. It's fine. That's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're not playing anything up. We don't have to go crazy or anything. It's just because I feel like our live shows, you're playing up to the audience a bit. You're making it a real experience. Yes. I've seen some of these podcasts do live eps before. And I'm going to have to say, I think we're probably the best at it. Some of these assholes out there, they just go and do their normal thing and barely look

at the crowd and they don't play it up. Like we're fucking showmen. You know what I mean? It is interesting. I went to a couple in the States when we were there last year and it really is a very different approach where I saw a lot where they were happy to just kind of come out and, you know, just kind of chat and work it out for a few minutes. Whereas we're coming out, we're backstage before the show going, what can we put in our dicks within three seconds we've got to be inserting something into ourselves

for the entertainment of these savages out there we're headbutting each other psyching ourselves up just going and just absolutely clocking each other between the eyes going come on do it or maybe that's a good way to make the audience understand how good they have it is we just do one where we do do it in the style of other podcasts. So we do a deliberately not very good live episode just to make people realise how good they have it all the other times. I feel like we've done one or two of them. Not deliberately though. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

By accident. Yes, yes, fair enough. We didn't plan to make it bad. Okay, so those are two new ones for the calendar, the boutique live episode experience and the deliberately bad live episode experience. The studio ep you can buy tickets to. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's it.

The studio ep you can buy tickets to. I think once you say live, it's like, oh, wow, this is like a proper show. No, no, no. It's a studio ep. The ticketed studio event. Yes, exactly. Band in the bubble style. Yeah.

A reference everyone will know. Yeah, yeah. That thing from 15 years ago. The in the bubble style. Yeah. A reference everyone will know. Yeah, yeah. That thing from 15 years ago. The regurgitator. All right, we have to explain that too. But it was on Channel V. Okay, we have to explain that too. Jabba was in it.

Oh, fuck. The guy from Fat Pizza Movie. Oh, fuck. So, yeah, all right. Man, I'm happy to put that in the calendar. I'm going to – let's work on that. But we have to find a location to have a – because we don't want them in your house. We don't want them in my house.

No. So we're going to have to find – We need a space. We need a – We need like a hotel room or something. That would be pretty cool if we hired a hotel room and we just hoped to get the costs back. That actually would be great. Yeah.

If we got a nice hotel room with a nice view, that would actually be awesome. I feel like we've tried to do that before, though, and we've found out that maybe there's things that work against that. Maybe there's... Yeah. I mean, it would potentially be pretty hard to just have person after person coming up. Well, considering this live show that's just been happening, that we're bookending right now, I feel like quite a few people got kicked out of there.

The sort of people that behave that way can't behave in this hotel room. But I feel like if we got – let's say we did it – if we got somewhere like a hotel in Crown Casino, right, surely they're used to – people are partying up in those hotel rooms. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People are winning big. They're getting 20 people up there in a room that one person has paid for. They'd be used to it.

It'd need to be somewhere like that. Yeah. If it was just a small budget hotel in the city, they'd be like, what the fuck's going on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. Okay. All right.

So talking about that episode then, have we got anything to report? A great night. Very fun experience. We had a lot of fun. Thank you very much for everyone to come and pack that show out. I think one of the best live events that we've done. Really? Between the ep, which I thought was awesome,

and everyone on the ep in great form, and the roast afterwards, which was heaps of fun. For everyone, yeah, that didn't go, most of you, yeah, we did do a roast afterwards, which we are not putting out, but it was just fun to do in the room. So thanks for coming and seeing that. If you did but suck shit, we won't be putting it out. So don't ask because it ain't coming out.

Yeah. Because we did several hate crimes and stuff within it. So, yeah, we can't be on the record doing that. Yeah. Yeah. So – A great night. Yeah, it was very, very good.

I enjoyed most of the interactions I had afterwards. Yeah. There was – yeah, look. We certainly – you know, it was a Saturday night show. Some people certainly got carried away and whatever. No major incidents, but I just think people did literally get kicked out for going too crazy. For being too drunk.

Yeah, people really got charged up. Now, look, in the middle of the show, of course, we made the big announcement. Maybe we should have led with this. Koh Samui International Podcast Festival, they're doing it again. 2019, the very last Koh Samui International Podcast Festival is happening next June. Yep.

So, guys, we've got dates for you. As we said within the show, let's reiterate right now, the festival is June 11 to 16, meaning we're checking out on the 16th. So there's no show on the 16th. It's the 15th. There's shows- Shows on the 11th, 12th, 13th, 14th, 15th.

Yes. Yeah. 16th is- Oh, none of this has been recording, by the way. Oh. Really? No, I'm kidding. Fuck.

I don't know anymore. Fuck. I was thinking, that's a shame. This has been good so far. New catchphrase. You can't think it – you kind of thought it was that good because you didn't seem that upset. I was shocked.

Really? Yeah, I was shocked. Right. So June 11 to 16 officially. So what we're doing is we're going, of course, to the Ozo, to the beautiful Ozo in downtown Choeing. The greatest city in the world. Yes.

June 11 to 16, checking out on the 16th. And then we are going back to Copenhagen for the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival Roadshow. So June the 16th, the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival Roadshow will be happening in Copenhagen. Now, so you want to be there on the 16th for that. Now, I don't think we know if we've been invited on that yet. Right.

But that's the date that the roadshow is happening. Right. So if you want to plan your schedule around that to be there. Yeah. In case we do get invited. Do what we're doing. Keep that date open. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And we're letting the festival directors know. Like we've been sending emails saying, hey, just so you know, if you need anyone, like we're around. We're really keen for work. We sent them a good video of us performing at the 2018. Yes. Coastal Million International Podcast Festival Roadshow 2 in Copenhagen. I sent them the podcast that we did in LA.

So fingers crossed. I sent them the Pablo Francisco studio. Great. Well, we should, you know, we should be a lock for this one. Yep. So that's very exciting. So what the deal is, if you've been before, you know the deal. But this is the last one.

This is the last one we're doing, which means all the people that carry on and say, oh, I was going to go to the first one and then here's my excuse. I didn't. I was going to go to the second one, but then, oh, that's didn't. I was going to go to the second one but then, oh, that's right, I did something else. This is the last time you get to do it. That's really the only reason we're making this the last one is because we're sick of hearing that shit from people.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I know as soon as we announce this, the next day, oh, I'm busy that day. Yeah, yeah. I don't care. Don't tell us you're busy. I don't care. Either go or don't go.

And I do think, I mean, it's part of the relationship, the close relationship that we have with our listeners where we are very easily accessible. It's like, imagine in the days of the fucking big day out. You know what I mean? Were they just getting swarmed with like, oh, Jesus Christ, I really want to see Neil Young, but I've got my bloody, I've got my dad's 60th that night. Can you move it?

Yeah, totally. So you've got eight months notice, guys. This is it. Cancel your move it? Yeah, totally. So you've got eight months' notice, guys. This is it. Cancel your shit plans. Yeah, yeah. Cancel your Nan's 100th birthday. Who cares? You'll have another one.

Yeah, break up with your girlfriend. Yeah. So it's going to be massive. There's your details. Now, how we work is we are working with the beautiful Ozo Chowing Resort. And so they are once again coming to the party. They're putting it on for us. They're putting on a deal for you guys.

What you need to do if you want to participate in the festival is you need to stay with the wonderful people there at the Ozo. If you go, now what you need to do is you need to go to Ozo's, the Ozo Chowing official website. You need to plug in those dates, as many dates as you want, and then use the code PODCAST19. Right. Now, how did they come up with that?

I'm not sure. I think that's Thai for something. I think that's Thai for holiday. I think it's podcast is what we do, you and me. Yes, go on. And 19, the combined number of inches that we have between us. Oh, okay. Sorry?

What do you mean? In weight? No, no, have between us. Oh, okay. Sorry, what do you mean? In weight? No, no, in penis size. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so wow, you're three inches. Wow, that's pretty cool. So book it in, guys.

Now here's the deal. You get a better deal if you use the code POD code podcast 19 um you get also if you book seven nights or more you get free airport transfers uh from the hotel themselves they come and pick you up from the airport they drop you off as well um so you get a discount price as well and you there will be discounted drinks on the beach during the show stuff like that. Now, the code itself, whereas the festival goes from the 11th to the 16th of June, you can basically book in a week or two before and a week or two after, if you'd like, and still get that same deal if you'd like. Yeah, so in the past, that deal that they've done has only been valid for the dates of

the festival. The festival itself. Is that correct? Yes. But this time they've extended it. So yeah, you can still get those good rates that they're offering to you for, yeah, the few days before and the few days after the festival. Yeah.

It's actually between the 2nd and the 22nd of June. So, you can go there a full week, week and a half early if you like, which, you know what? Sure. Do it. It is awesome. We would prefer you to go there earlier than later just because, you know, if you want to come to the Copenhagen show, you can do that.

So definitely get in a bit early, have a relaxed, have your little holiday and then get amongst the festival. Yeah. Now, of course, that thing as well is that deal is applicable until January 15 of 2019. Meaning get in early because that's the rate, that's when the rate is applicable until January 15 of 2019. Meaning, get in early because that's the rate, that's when the rate is guaranteed until. After that, it will go up slightly to the hotel's discretion.

It's the most complicated thing that's ever happened on this show. No, no, no. I just want to explain all the deals so everyone knows exactly how it works because I think in previous years there's been a few little things that change here and there and then people hit me up and go how come this is happening i'm like i fucking don't know and then i have to hit up the resort and ask them why so i've i've got them to spell absolutely everything out this time so i've got all the answers right now yeah uh so yes book in early and look as soon as we announced this at the live show the other night um people were booking in

what mid-gig yeah people got on their phones and were booking accommodation in Thailand for eight months time. Yeah, it sort of fucked the next three minutes of the show. People were very distracted and not paying attention. They got Glen Robbins up there. They're like, yeah, no, no, no. I've got to focus on a holiday that's in eight months time. Yes, totally.

So until January 15th. So get in early. Otherwise, the rates will go up slightly. They'll go up slightly. They won't go up too much. They'll go up slightly. So if you want the good deal, otherwise the rates will go up slightly. They'll go up slightly. They won't go up too much. They'll go up slightly. So if you want the good deal, make the call. You know, most people make those big holiday calls a fair bit out.

So you've got another couple of months until you need to make the call. Tell your boss to go fuck himself. Yeah. Now, one more little part of the deal is similar to this year. So the people at Ozo, they also have their twin resort, which is up the road a little bit, on the other end of the main street, the beautiful Amari Resort, which I've stayed at personally. I've put my folks up there.

Yeah, my parents stayed there when they went. Right, yes. And it is awesome. It's pretty much like the OZO, but it's actually officially like a half-star better, officially. Yes, yes. It is, but we're not holding the podcast festival there. We're doing the live shows at the Ozo. So if you want to be close to the action, come to the Ozo. If you'd like to be away from the action a little bit

and just come down to the shows, the Amari put on a shuttle bus and you come back and forward and whatever. If you want to just chill out during the day and night and just come down for the shows, stay at the Amari, the wonderful Amari place. Now, they've got the same code as well. So if you want to use podcast19. And again, don't go through the third-party places

because you don't get the guaranteed deals, you don't get the guaranteed entry, all that sort of stuff. We track you guys better through dealing with the resorts direct. That's how it works. That's how the whole deal works with the OZO helping us out with everything. And you don't get the free airport transfers and all those sort of things if you don't go through direct through them.

And we'll find you and we'll come after you. We'll hunt you down. All that's implied. Right, so I think that's it. And it will be, same as this year, it will be a ticketed thing. You'll have to get an actual ticket at some point, but we're just kind of working all that stuff out at the moment.

Yes. Not quite on sale yet. No. No need for them to be quite on sale yet. No, but just a reminder that that is also part of it. Yes. Get your accommodation worked out. You've got your date, so you've got, you know,

in the next week or so, plan that out. Get that stuff together. The ticket price won't be insane, but it's just, you know, to cover us. You know, we fly the guests. We do all that. Get that stuff together. The ticket price won't be insane, but it's just to cover us. We fly the guests. We do all that shit. There's costs involved. So that's – yeah.

Just making that clear. Because, again, otherwise people book in and they're like, wah, wah, wah. Yeah. Oh, no, totally. I mean, we bring out so many guests that we don't make money off you guys booking rooms in a fucking resort. We get the money from you guys from ticketing to fly out guests. Yeah, a measly $1,500 a ticket, which I think you agree –

People will fucking believe that. This isn't recording, by the way. Oh, cool. Good. Well, I'm glad that bit didn't record. No, it won't be much, but yeah. So, yeah, okay. So, obviously, guests haven't been announced yet.

We will slowly get onto that. We are talking to a few people, all that sort of stuff. And updating kind of the sorts of things we'll be doing there. So we're going to start – yeah, we really did only lock this in the morning of this live show that you've just heard. So it's very fresh news for us as well. So now we've got to start planning the sort of things we're going to be doing and we'll trickle that information out on the show. We were negotiating for quite a while. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So we knew we were doing it. It was just down to – In terms of locking in Ozo, but we haven't, between the two of us, sort of talked about the sorts of wacky little stunts we're going to get up to over there. There's some good negotiations happening this time. I think the deal this time is cheaper than last year. Great. I believe.

I want to get the band back together from this year's one. That's my big project for this one The big aim is to do some Some really cool things that we haven't done before You know you're trying to do different things You don't want to do the same thing every time I know we're going back to the same resort For the third year

But that's why we're trying to freshen up And think of some cool ideas This year we did We made our own bar You know we had The shows on the beach That we hadn't done before We went to Copenhagen

That we hadn't done before So next year the aim is to Have a whole heap of different stuff that we hadn't done before. We went to Copenhagen that we hadn't done before. So next year the aim is to have a whole heap of different stuff that we haven't done before. So if you've been before, if you've been once before, if you've been twice before, there's still guaranteed heaps of stuff that you haven't done, haven't seen, all that sort of stuff. And different guests and all that sort of stuff. So really looking forward to it.

Really excited to give you the news. When we announced it, we felt like there was a heap of great reaction in the room. And hopefully what I love is… One woman in particular fucking sliding off her seat by the end of it. What I would love to hear from is you guys that didn't go the first two years. Yes. The people that say, oh, we really wanted to go. It sounded really good.

Oh, we wish we had it, but this came up, whatever. We want you guys to finally come along. Yeah. So that's it because this is your last time yeah it's your last chance if you've been talking about if you've been making excuses you've been complaining or even if you're just newly into the pod and you've heard all these eps and are really excited and you've some of those freaks that have listened to 420 episodes in the last week as you've been driving your truck to mckay or whatever yeah we want to hear from you guys as well so We had a few of them on the weekend. Oh, really? Yeah.

Yeah. So get in. You guys get in. It was exciting. It's exciting to bring new people along to there. Yeah. You know, this year we had the old guard that had been to the first one and they were battle ready.

Yeah. And then the new guys come in and they were super excited and went crazy and whatever. So you absolutely in your element. Yes. Most nights like the Pied Piper just leading people down the street to your favorite restaurants and bars and stuff. Totally. Totally.

Love it. Love introducing people to my love. Awesome. All right. I think that's all for this week. I believe we have eight months to talk about this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But look, this is a nice sort of guide.

I think that's comprehensively all the information we need to give out. We'll put this out on the socials as well, of course, on Twitter, on Facebook, on Instagram. If you're into us, get onto that. We give out a lot of information on that all the time and try and make that worth your while to see us on your little computers, on your little phones. Awesome. All right. Yeah, get onto them and let us know if you're coming.

Always like to hear back to sort of hear the progress. But it sounds like just from the other night's live episode, like there was a heap of people locking in already. So, yeah, let's make it even bigger. And the more people that, you know, buy tickets and get confirmed for it, the bigger names we can sort of go after to bring over as guests. And already, yeah, a couple of friends of the show have just said to me, fuck it, I'm just going to come.

Oh, really? I'm just going to book a ticket. So there is interest from our friends as well, which is cool. Yeah. Because, yeah, some very wonderful times there last year. Some people begging to be brought as guests. Yes. Who to thunk it?

McBegging. A bit too much information, I would have thought. Why? Could be anyone Let's get into it Apart from all that Let's Thank you everyone

For contributing to the show Yes In terms of Monetarily Via our little Middleman Patreon.com Slash

Little Dumb Dumb Club If you love the show And you'd like to Kick back And you We're like beggars On the street That you know

Sing you a little sea chant And you and go, good on you little guys. You know, you deserve something for that. And you chuck a little bit of money in our coffers. We really appreciate that. And we don't give you a sea shanty per se. We give you a podcast every week and then we give you extra sea shanties in the way of… Personalised sea shanties.

Yes, in the way of magazines or extra podcast episodes. And also in return, there's a chance of your name being read out in one of these sea shanties. So let's do it. If this is your first episode ever that you ever listen to, you would have turned off by now, but if you haven't... Maybe you've dipped back in for this point. Yes. In which case, welcome back.

If you're one of those listeners that only listen to the intro at the very top of the episode and then get rid of everything except for the Patreon read, welcome back. Yep. We are firing up the Unplanned Title Alternator one more time this week. And again, if you're first-time listeners, we read out a different amount of listeners every week. This week, we are doing five. How did you arrive at that number?

It came to me in a dream. Okay. Combined number of inches? This made me shit my pants. I was in this dream and there was this big five in the sky and I was like, this means something. Wow. Yeah.

So I thought it's my destiny. I thought I better do this and maybe it would bring me – I'm going to Google this. What does dreaming about the number five mean? Yeah, look it up. I'd love to. I mean, I presume it meant read out five names on your podcast today. Yeah.

I mean, I'm happy to follow that lead. I'm not saying don't do it. You're not. Great. I also would like to know what this means. You look it up. That's fine. I've got to fire this machine up.

Yep, yep. So here we go. Number five tells of adventure, life changes, freedom, spontaneity and action. The number may be suggesting changes coming up in your life or life path that may alter your course. Dreaming of the number five may be a premonition of important discoveries, adventures and actions to be taken in waking life. Wow. Wow. That reminds me.

I do have something to tell you. Yes? Maybe later. I've got to do work at the moment. Okay. Yeah. Shout out to the two people listening who know what that joke is. I don't know why you think that's a joke.

It's just information I have to relay to you later on. Oh, fuck. It's not recording. Fuck. Stop saying that. All right. Here we go. I've hit the big red button on the unplanned title alternator. Oh, fuck. It's not recording. Fuck. Stop saying that. All right. Here we go. I've hit the big red button on the unplanned title alternator.

Here we go. Name number one out of five, I believe, because I'm into self-discovery. Yep. Adventure. Adventure. Spontaneity. Spontaneity. Yep.

Yes. What could be more spontaneous than a machine that spits numbers out at random? Than reading five names out for the first time on the fly. This is an adventure. This is uncharted waters. Yeah. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Ewan Purdy. Purdy.

E-U-A-N. Ewan. I would say that's Ewan. My bank account looking mighty purdy. Hey, you and me both. Nice. Yeah. Nice.

Yeah. Ewan Purdy. You and me. Ewan McGregor. I'm Nice Yeah Ewan Purdy You and me Ewan McGregor More like Ewan McGivenous Money It's not the same Ewan I know I've never seen Ewan I mean, it might not even be Ewan

I can't hear the name Ewan Without just immediately thinking That the end is going to be McGregor Right E-U-A-N Oh, right That's weird Yeah E-U-A-N Oh right That's weird Yeah

E That's Yeah I've never seen three vowels in a row like that In a first name I'm changing my tune I'm off it now You're off it

I'm off it I'm absolutely off it Purdy Purdy's good Yeah P-U-R-D-Y No P-U-R-D-I-E

Ooh Ooh Purdy What's going on Jesus Christ Quite a name you've got there. Pertiepie. What?

There's that YouTuber called PewDiePie who got in trouble for going to Japan. And did you read about this? He like found a dead body in the suicide forest. Oh, the suicide forest guy. And he's like roasting it. Yeah. And he had to like apologize. I've never seen it, but I am fascinated by the suicide forest.

Yeah. Yeah. Is it like that old saying? If a guy kills himself in the suicide forest. Yeah. Yeah. Is it like that old saying? If a guy kills himself in the suicide forest, did it really – And there's no YouTuber around to make fun of him. And no one heard the bullet. No one heard the gunshot. Did he really kill himself?

Now we're going to get in trouble. Are we? I don't think we could get in trouble for anything. I mean – I think we are bulletproof unlike some of the people in the suicide forest. It does feel that way. But I don't want to test it. To knock us off our perch, we would have to be on a perch. Exactly.

Yeah, I was about to say it's a shitty perch. Why would you be? The perch is just going to fucking collapse at a certain – it's shoddy masonry work. Someone pushed us off a one-inch perch. Like it doesn't really do anything, does it? How did you come up with the number one inch? The combined number.

Boy, we are rapidly shrinking. I saw a one-inch dick in the sky in my dream. Thanks, Ewan. I want to find out what that means. Yeah, look up. What if you dream about a one-inch dick? What does dream? Okay.

I don't think. If that's actually on the internet, wow. find out what that means. Yeah, look up. What if you dream about a one-inch dick? What does dream – okay. Yeah. I don't think – if that's actually on the internet, wow. I don't think there's going to be the specific inch, but I'll just look up what does dreaming about a dick mean. What else could it mean? Penis. To dream of a penis represents power, virility, and competence. You or some aspect of your personality feels capable or powerful.

To dream of a small penis represents emotional impotence or powerlessness. You feel totally ineffective in some areas of your life. It's a great new segment of the show. So what's the difference? So you know when people say, oh, okay, if you dream about this, that means this. But dreams are just thoughts so what does it is it transferable to say what if you are just thinking about dick all the time does it mean the same thing you know what i mean if you're awake i think that means something pretty different in the waking light that reminds

you i've got something to tell you that would have been great i really was hoping i would google that what does it mean if you dream of dick and it just comes up with you are gay? What do you think, Einstein? If you dream of dick, it means... What does it mean? It means that you feel power, virility and competence. You or some

aspect of your personality feels capable or powerful. Right. Now, if you dream of dick and you wake up and your bed's all sticky, it means you are gay. Is that – would that be more? Yeah, it means you're gay with yourself because you've been turned on. The idea of your competence and your powerfulness has brought you to climax. So, you know what I mean?

You're turned on by the idea of how powerful you are. We should have said this at the top of the episode. I think that episode we just did, it reminds me, was about the grottiest episode we've ever done. Yeah. I mean, every new person that came out had something new and grotty to add to the mix. Yeah, yeah.

Like, I didn't mean to set the tone about the story about – well, first of all, it was about me thinking I might have had a cancer attached to me, but then turned into the idea of me getting my prostate checked. But then it just went. Everyone just listened to that one and went, oh, no, we can tell shit stories. We can tell whatever stories. Fricka's story about the dog is just one of the greatest.

Yeah. That was great. That was great. Sometimes in the live eps you feel like you kind of limp over the finish line, but that coming out in the last 15 minutes, my God, that was probably the heftiest wind that has ever been in these sales. Also, Dil's story about the vacuum cleaner, we then told some other people about that the other night

and then went on about an hour riff and we're sitting there going, how the fuck, why didn't we wedge this into the live show as well? We were out until 3am last night, you, me, Dil, and some friends of the show that will be on a future episode, literally just riffing about the vacuum cleaner for almost the entire interaction. Yes. It's very fun.

It made me think, man, that was really funny on the live show, but this is better. We've sort of let ourselves down a bit. No, I thought we had some really good shit on the live show. Oh, good. And I think that that convo, that real-life convo, was only good because we were informed from talking about it at the live ep. Okay.

Well, now I feel good. Thanks, Ewan. Thanks, Ewan. Thank you to Patreon subscriber David James Williams. David James Williams. Yeah, he's whacked his middle name in there for some reason. Don't mind that. I don't know why.

Why would you bother when you're filling out a form going, I'm going to chuck your money to a podcast in my little account. Why bother having the full name? You know what I think he's doing? What? He's going, I mean, let's be realistic. They're all pretty dull names. Oh, yeah, yeah.

So he's just trying to get as much in there as he can. Not dull, stock standard. They're very common names maybe. David Williams. David Williams. Like what are we going to do with yeah, yeah, yeah. So he's just trying to get as much in there as he can. Not dull, stock standard. They're very common names, maybe. David Williams. That could be anyone. Like, what are we going to do with that? Yeah, sure. But immediately by him giving us the full title.

Yeah. I mean, look how much we're getting out of it already. Well, look, you know what? By doing that, guess what? All of a sudden he sounds a lot cooler because he is DJ Williams. Nice. There you go. DJ Williams is in the house giving us fucking, I don't know,

five or ten bucks or some shit. Yeah. Yeah. Just DJ Williams is like doing that make it rain with the cash i honestly if i was him i would go by dj yeah i really would really yeah yeah i really would i would if there hadn't been someone called dj in full house that was like a two-year-old child yeah right okay that's not as cool yeah don't you think or did did you never watch Full House? Well, I never Yeah, it's a bit before my time Okay I mean, when was that on? That's on

Late 80s Yeah, yeah Early 90s, late 80s So I was born in 86 Right, okay So, yeah Well, you've been as old as You're probably the same age as the Olsen twins, are you?

Maybe? I think so You could possibly be the same age I think they're a little bit younger than me Oh, really? Yeah, because I remember I remember there being stuff on the internet That was like a countdown

to them being 18 when they were legal. And I remember being old enough to see that and go, this is fucking a bit grotty. This is a bit weird. Right. Look them up. How old are they? I'm looking up. Right.

Now, what's your date of birth? August 25th, 1986. 86. August 25th. Yeah. You are Two months Younger than them Really?

Yes So you're telling me I'm in with a chance I'm telling you Well I'm about to start The countdown To when you're legal That's what I'm gonna do

So You're Younger than the Olsons Younger than the Olsons Wow Yeah there you go Yeah so that's why I never watched it growing up

Because those Fucking Terrifying old kids Spooked the shit out of me. Yeah, right. Yeah, so no DJ. You can go DJ. I can't go DJ. Yeah.

Hang on. We're going to get in trouble here because the twins weren't called DJ. The older one was called DJ. Yeah. Yeah. Again, I don't know. Yeah. Because they were twins on the show. The older one was called DJ. Yeah. Yeah. Again, I don't know. Yeah.

Because they were twins on the show. Yeah, there was one of them. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Fuck,

I can't wait for some fuck people getting so upset about Full House to be writing in. We don't need any, no further correspondence. We fixed it ourselves, guys.

Okay? It's still going too. They brought it back on Netflix. Is it still going? I think they made like a couple of seasons of it. Has it stopped again?

I don't know. It probably has. Yeah, but the fact that they made two was surprising to me. Two seasons? Yeah. Without the Olsen twins? Yeah, yeah. An Olsen twin?

Yeah. That would be pretty funny because they don't need both of them to come in now. They could have just convinced one of them to do it. Yeah, yeah. And negotiation-wise, they could have just played them off against each other. Yeah. Oh, no, they're fucking loaded, though, aren't they? And they're crazy.

I think they're crazy. That would be so funny, like, them holding out and then one of them just being a scab and crossing the picket line and going and doing it. Oh, it would break up the family. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Thanks, DJ.

Thanks, DJ. Thanks, DJ Tanner Williams. Thank you to Patreon subscriber. Oh, wow. What do we got? We got another one. Interesting. We got another interesting one.

Oh, what's this one say? What number is this? Number three. It's number three. Sorry, am I going a bit early with my this is interesting? No, no, no. Thank you to Patreon subscriber CGA CJ What the fuck

Jesus CJS Bark So CJS is the first name? That's initials Oh okay CJS And then Bark as in B-A-C-H

What? Oh as in I thought you meant as in Woof woof No No As in Sebastian Bark Oh man that in, I thought you meant as in Woof Woof No, no, as in Sebastian Bach Oh man, that's less, I wish it was B-A-R-K Well, it's not

Well, I don't know what I can do, C-J-S What do you mean you don't know what you can do? There's a famous composer called Bach You know, that's something Name one of his pieces of music Symphony 2 giving money to a podcast. Symphony 69. If there's any composers that listen and you want to put together a nice little symphony called Symphony 69

that we can own and have as the new theme song to this pod. Fuck. No, it's the theme music to Talking Dum Dum. Oh, that's nice. Then, you know. Yeah, if someone wants to compose a theme to Talking Dum Dum, I'd be very happy to have that. Yeah.

There's musicians out there. We know there's definitely musicians out there. I'd love to reboot our theme song. I don't know if it's wise or not after this long, but. No, I'm happy with that. Not that I ever listen to it, but I'd like to have a Talking Dum Dum theme. Hey, hypothetically, if our current theme music was composed

by an international musician, hypothetically let's say it was, hypothetically that musician may have been on a show that you work on this week. Did you see that? On Sunday. I believe so. Hypothetically he was on. Yes, I believe.

That's true. Yes. I wasn't there that day. That's a shame. I believe That's true Yes I wasn't there that day That's a shame I was supposed to be But I wasn't If you had been there Would you have

And would you have been able To get any FaceTime with him No Okay No That would have been funny To go for a photo Yeah yeah

Oh totally No no no There was no chance I believe he was in a different city To me So yeah Ah right right right Yeah so

By satellite Hypothetically he was in a Different city Well hypothetically Theyetically he was in a Different city Well hypothetically They were filming it In a different city I believe Ah okay So there's no chance

Right Yeah I could have I could have written a joke That made fun of him or something And then they That would have been It just wouldn't have happened Yeah that would have been cool

But it's all We're all Talking in a hypothetical city Yeah exactly so But back to CJS What do you think it stands for? Chris James Spook

Shithead Spurn How spurn? Back Back He's back CJS is back And he's done it again

Yep He's given us some money And that's That's one of my favourite things about CJS CJS Bark This one's a fucking minefield. It's, you know what, I'm going to go for a deep dive.

I'm going fucking deeper on it. What do you mean? The fuck is, well, you know, I get a little bit more detail in the unplanned, what the fuck's this thing called again? Title alternate. Title alternate. I was getting mixed up because what did it used to be called? Random name generator.

Yeah. What do you mean used to be called? That was the other machine that we used. Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I said. Fuck, listen, dude. I was about to call back to you saying deep dive,

but it's something that hasn't happened on the show yet. I'm calling forward to an episode in the future, buddy. Know your timelines. I was like, where does that sound familiar from? Look, if I go deeper into the machine I can get some more information on

our subscribers so I'm going I'm going you know I can find a little bit more and you are for the listener you've got your head

you've got the there's like a kind of front panel on the unplanned title alternator you've got the door open you've got your head right in there it's like you're trying

to gas yourself in an oven got my head under the bonnet kind of like fixing the pipes under a sink you've got your plum open. You've got your head right in there. It's like you're trying to gas yourself in an oven. Got my head under the bonnet. Slash kind of like fixing the pipes under a sink. You've got your plumber's crack proudly on display. Yep. You are right in there rooting around. All right, I'll say this. Yep.

I've got the guy's email address here. Okay. He appears to have not a lot of relevance to the name he's given up as his actual name. Interesting. So he's got a real name and then he's got his little fake name, I think. Right. Yeah. Interesting.

So he's just saying his name is CJS Bark and it's not really CJS Bark, I think. Okay. Well. I don't know what to do with this information. I feel like we've done enough. We've done all we can. We just get given a random number of letters. I feel like we've done nothing and that's enough.

Yeah. That's too much. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck this guy. Yeah. Fuck this guy. Yeah. Fuck this guy and the $10 a month you're giving us. Now I'm glad this hasn't been recording.

CGS. CJS. I keep saying CGS. Is it because you're wanting to – It's just easier to say. It's easier to say. CGS. It's easier to say.

CJ, CJS. CJS. That's more effort, don't you think? It doesn't roll off the lips. CJS. CJS, yeah. CJS. That's more effort Don't you think? Doesn't it roll off the lips? CJS CJS CJS That's way easier

Okay Well thanks CJ Thanks CJ Thanks CJS Bark Thanks Barky You'll be bark Nice

Nice Do you like that impression? Get to the CJ Get to the CG It's not a CGS. Thank you to Patreon subscriber. Oh, he's a much easier one to say. Nice.

Love it. There's not a fucking history behind this. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Matthew Murray. Muzza. And he subscribes a grand total of $6.90 per month. Good on him. Thanks, Matthew Murray. Just short of $7.

Could have gone the full hog to the traditional $7 fee that we like so much, but just short. Oh, I've told you this, but I don't think I've said it on the show. Update on Dr. Pat, who I was talking about the other week. Yes. And we were talking about him and his wife. He listened and he texted me and the friendship remains intact. Right.

So, yeah, it was cut and dry there for a bit. I texted him the day the ep came out and I was like, well, you know, strap in, buddy. If you enjoyed, you mentioned last time. And then I just didn't hear from him for four days. And I was like, well, this is it. Right. Is he coming to the Perth show?

I believe he's coming, yeah. Should I reveal the other bit of information then or not? No. Okay. That you have something to tell me. Yeah, yeah, another thing to tell you. So I shouldn't reveal that. Okay.

All right. Okay, if that makes your life easier, that's fine. All right. I won't say the other thing. Matthew Murray MM MM Could be a Marvel superhero

Could be a Well you know All the Stanley created Marvel superheroes They've all got those Like you know Reed Richards Peter Parker

Bruce Banner Yeah All this bullshit Are you going to go see Eminem When he's out here No Good I don't think so

Why Why don't you want me to I I don't see Eminem when he's out here? No. Good. I don't think so. Why? Why don't you want me to? I don't think Eminem's very good. Anymore or in the start? In the start. Like I enjoyed the hits when I was in high school, but for me it's so of that time. And I think it's weird when people are still really into him now

and treat him like he's one of the greats. It's like, I don't know, I find it's weird when people are still really into him now and treat him like he's one of the greats. It's like, I don't know, I find it bizarre. It's weird to me. Right. Yeah, look, I'm not going to go, I enjoyed his earlier work. I don't enjoy his later work. Yep. When did you tip off?

A couple of albums ago. I remember you listening to one and as you were listening to it, you were messaging me going, what am I listening to? It's like a 40-year-old man complaining about his mum. Yeah. Yeah, totally. Yeah.

It was great. I was getting like a live commentary from you as you were listening to the album. Right, right. Yeah, it's pretty poor these days. He's like, because that's the other thing, he used to be funny as well.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. At least he's funny. And now it's just like... His video clips were funny Yeah Yeah Boring Yeah

He's got black hair It's boring What ever happened to D12? Yeah well D12 were about as good as what he is now Yeah Yeah D12 sucked Not very good

You were just hanging out for the verse that he would do Yeah On one of the Like the one hit that they would have off an album Was the song with him on it Oh and he used to Like even when he was good Like he deliberately put out a single would do on one of the, like the one hit that they would have off an album was the song with him on it. Oh, and he used to, like even when he was good,

like he deliberately put out a single that was like a fucking nursery rhyme and was like actually shit, but it was catchy because it was like, just the beat was like, yeah. And it's like, it was like, like a fake electronic saxophone or something.

It was like, this is shit. This is for people that don't really like music. Well, you know what I got onto a little while ago was like going back through and like some of his songs that I like the beat of, just finding the actual song that it samples and going like, oh, yeah, this is way better. This is just the musical bit of this that I like.

Right. Anyway. Yeah. Not going. Thanks, Matt Murray. Matt Murray. Thanks, Matt Murray. And you're $6.90 per month

Very good stuff Yeah Alright Well As I foreshadowed at the start Let's not muck around Let's not pretend anything is It's not

I hate to muck around in this bit of the show Yeah Let's Let's Let's make it cut and dried Yep As promised As foretold

By the dreams of Carl Chandler Yes By the Yes we are doing a dick amount of names this week And as promised. As foretold by the dreams of Carl Chandler. Yes. Yes, we are doing a dick amount of names this week. No, sorry, five. Okay, well, this is number five. This is the fifth one. This is the fifth and final one this week. Yep.

Not the final one of all time. We'll be doing more in further episodes. But for this bit right now. This is the fifth and final name for this week. Yes, the one after the penultimate one. Yes, the ultimate one. As I think is a bit catchier. Yes.

I mean, you've got to close it off at some stage, and for us this week, that's right now. Exactly. Yes, the Coastal Mill International Podcast Festival, we've cut that at three. We're drawing a line under that, and we're drawing a line under reading our names this week right now at this number. This episode cannot go forever.

Yeah. Yeah, we can't. It certainly feels like it is at this point. Yes, but we have to stop because otherwise we can't put it out. Yes. We don't stop somewhere. We can't put this out. Okay?

So we'd love to do more, but you will never actually hear this episode if we don't stop at some stage to put it out. That would be great if all of a sudden we realised it's 11.59pm on Wednesday night. Fuck! We've missed the release date. What if we did a 24-hour Patreon read? Fuck. That would be amazing. That would be pretty cool.

And we did it as the studio episode and we had the same people in our house for like a day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Reading names. Yeah. What would that do to someone's brain? Our brain, their brain, everyone's brain. I think that would have to be the sign off of the pod, right?

I don't think we could go back. That would have to be just the end of it. Yeah. The last thing we ever do. At the very least, you'd go, we're taking a month off. Yes, yes. We're going to a clinic. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, we just did essentially 24 weeks worth of episodes in one hit. We're out. Yep. Checking into podcast rehab. All right. Here we go. Final name for the week. Number five.

Number five. Final one and number five. Thank you to Patreon subscriber. Okay. Right. This will be interesting. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Marshall Mathers Comedy. Right.

Yeah. MMC. Yes. Interesting. Interesting. Like literally. Yes. Interesting.

MM. Yeah, right, right. Like Eminem. Oh, right. Like the rapper Eminem's. I don't know about that. But like Eminem. Real name.

Eminem initials. Oh, Eminem. Right. Sounds a bit like Eminem. Reminds me of Eminem's... I don't know about that, but like Eminem... Real name. Eminem initials. Oh, Eminem, right. Sounds a bit like Eminem. Reminds me of Eminem the candy. Oh, right, okay. The sexy green one. What? The sexy green Eminem.

Is there a sexy green Eminem? Yeah, from the ads. Oh, from the ads, not just like a sexy... No, no, I'm not opening a packet of Eminems and going, God, I want to put my dick in there. Right. Okay. I make ads for M&M's then. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right. Yeah, with a little cartoon character M&M's. Okay. And there's a green one. There's a green one. There's a red and yellow one. They're the main characters. And the green one is like a sexy female.

Oh, is there really? Yeah. Oh. Is this a bit or do you actually not know this no no i've never heard of advertising before okay right yeah that's weird though because we are currently recording this at the m&m store in times square new york and you haven't noticed it you haven't you're not looking around noticing any of these characters i didn't ask any questions i just you said i've got a cool idea okay we're going to my favorite place uh i've just moved into a new

house yeah i walked in and thought man this guy's got a sweet tooth. There seems to be a lot of confectionery around in this guy's house. As you know, I don't eat candy of any kind. I don't like sweets. I mean, yeah. It is a weird place to live. But I can like the advertising without liking the sweet.

That's why I like the advertising so much because I'm able to just watch it and enjoy the ad for what it is without feeling compelled to purchase the product. Yeah, right, right. Anyway, how much money does this gentleman put in? I feel like we should be talking more about why we're in Times Square, but, you know, anyway. Well, people can't see that, so who cares?

Right, okay, sure. Why would we bring something as uninteresting as you living in Times Square in an M&M shop? Why would we talk about something like that? Let's talk about people's funny names. Maybe that's a place. Maybe we could do the live studio in here. Oh, right.

In New York. People travel to Koh Samui. Maybe they travel to Times Square. For the Patreon read. To watch us do a Patreon read in the M&M store. Right, in the M&M store. Yep. Great.

Well, I'm glad that you picked a place that is traditionally nice and quiet. Yes. So we can do like a nice episode. Well, you know, you and I both have construction work going on at the front of our houses right now. Yes. So it can't be much worse than that. Yes, yes.

It is pretty quiet in here today, actually. Yeah, I think they've knocked off for the day out there. Yeah. I was halfway to your house and you said, buddy, you've got to go back. That wrecking ball is causing some real damage outside. I mean it's nice and quiet in Times Square today. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I was halfway to your house.

I was on the plane. Yeah, I was on the plane. Right. And you called me. Halfway. I had Wi-Fi on in the plane and you're like, go up, get the captain to turn back around. Halfway?

Where were you? I was over, let's say, Koala Loompa. Oh, right. Yes. Not really halfway. Isn't it? No. Well, I mean, are you a pilot?

What would you know? Fuck, you're right. You've got me dead to rights here. Yep. Okay. I withdraw. Yeah, martial methods comedy. Cool.

Yeah, sounds good. That does sound good. And may I inquire as to how much money this gentleman puts in? $69 a month. That is exceptional stuff. He's got mom's candy on his sweater or something. Is that something? Yeah, sure.

Yep. Okay. Well, if he's a Patreon subscriber, if he's a podcast listener, dare I say, not so slim shady. Very good. Well, if he's a Patreon subscriber, if he's a podcast listener, dare I say, not so slim shady. Very good. Yeah, very good. Very good.

Did he – so he's just put it in. Has he got like my name is before that or – Well, I'll tell you this much. By giving us $69 a month, he's made sure that my little dickie please stands up. I'm deleting this. I'm back out. I'm on the side of all of our texts now. I can see why they fuck these recordings up. Well, thanks, Marshall.

Thanks, Marshall. Thanks, everyone who supports us on Patreon for chipping in every month. Patreon.com slash little dum-dum club is where you can go, and every month we send out a bonus little magazine that we put a lot of work into. It has drawings. It has little articles and heaps of jokes and stuff in there.

By the way, I like how – remember in the early days when there was – we sort of – I'm not sure if we realised this as quickly as everyone else, but everyone realised that there was quite a few people with the surname Comedy that were subscribing to us and they were very happy to make family trees. I think they're over it now. That's long gone. I think they thought we'll do this and then that'll sort of stop.

That'll be like now that there's an official record, well, we don't want to update this, so they'll take the hint and they'll just stop. But, hey, anyone listening, if you want to keep it going, but we've stopped. I mean, I don't think to update this. So they'll take the hint and they'll just stop. But hey, anyone listening, if you want to keep it going. But we've stopped. I mean, I don't think we know where the – this just seems to be – there was a pretty clear family tree in the early days, if I remember correctly.

Yes. And now it's just kind of a lot of random people. Yeah. It's a lot of copycat crimes, I think. I feel like it's a bit like The Simpsons. Like it sort of meant something in the early days and now it's just random jokes. They've got no heart to them.

Just whatever. There's heaps that are pretty offensive and have dated poorly over time and we should probably consider cutting from the show altogether. Yeah, we also send out a bonus episode once a month and yes, it really does mean a lot to us. We really appreciate the support. And thanks once again to everyone who came down to this live episode that you just heard.

That was awesome. We packed out a huge room. It feels good doing those massive, massive shows every year in our home city. And thanks for being such an awesome crowd. What else? Little dumdumclub.com for tickets to – Thank you to the sponsor of the Patreon raid. Oh, yes. Which I forgot to say at the top.

Sorry, what was that? The name of the cause is fuck a certain sort of cat food. Oh, yeah, okay. Cool, cool. That's it. Fuck a certain sort of cat food. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, no more questions.

No questions? No. I thought you would have had a question. Well, it's all there. It's all there in the title. It seems pretty opaque. Fuck a certain sort of cat food. Yeah, I get it.

A certain sort of cat food. Yeah. Fuck it. Yeah. Put your dick in it. Metaphorically, I guess. Yeah, I get it. A certain sort of cat food. Fuck it. Put your dick in it. Metaphorically, I guess. Yeah, metaphorically speaking. Existentially speaking.

You don't even want to know what sort of cat food? Well, I feel like if I ask, I'm just going to be told. I feel like if they wanted me to know that, they would have said, fuck this cat food. Instead of just, I feel like they're being being the fact that they're being so deliberately obtuse says to me that they there's no point me asking because they don't want me to know you don't be rude well all right i'll humor you what cat food um applause cat food thanks fuck Thanks, fuck. Yeah, our website.

Our website's got the answer to all your ails. So go and grab some T-shirts. Go and grab a stubby holder that you can get. Yeah, they are flying off the shelves. There's not many of them left. We have under-ordered. We are going to sell out. We'll have to re-order. Very gratifying.

We're about to go to Perthth and those motherfuckers will be grabbing Stubby Holders, I would imagine. Yep. Perth on November 18 with a huge lineup of friends, our solo shows and everything. We'll see you there.

Looking forward to seeing the Perth contingent. And yeah, we've got one or two other things planned before the end of the year, but yeah. Yes, we do.

And we've got some great episodes coming up. It's nice to end an episode by saying, hey, next couple of weeks are going to be heaps of fun because we've done them already and they are good. Two international episodes. Yes. International guests.

And very funny episodes as well. Yep. I'm going to put out there. What do you think? Two crossovers. Would you say that… Two great ones, yeah. What would you mark the following two episodes out of ten?

Oh, that's interesting. Man, I think they're both up. I think they're like an eight and a nine. Yeah. I'm with you. I'm going to say eight and nine. Yeah. Yeah.

And I think potentially a couple of things in each that could become new bits of canon quite possibly. Always looking for new canon. Yeah. Well, thanks heaps, guys, and we will see you next time. See you, mates.