The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 424 - Anne Edmonds & Nath Valvo

Episode Date: November 20, 2018

We've finally got ANNE EDMONDS back on the show and she's joined by first time guest NATH VALVO! We talk about the logistics of hooking up with someone in your apartment building, Nath's boyfriend getting mistaken for a Friend of the Show, running triathlons PLUS Karl's had an interesting missed call that leads to... well, you'll find out. For tickets, merchandise, links to our Patreon and heaps of other stuff, head to our website: littledumdumclub.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. This episode of The Little Dumb Dumb Club is brought to you by ShipStation. If you use Amazon, eBay, or Magento 2, or even your own website, then you need ShipStation. It's the fast and easy way to manage and ship your orders all from the one place. And now you can try ShipStation free for 30 days. Plus, get a special bonus when you use the promo code DUM. So head to ShipStation.com, enter the promo code DUM.

ShipStation.com, make ship happen. Today on the Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with guests, Anne Edmonds and for the first time, Nath Valvo, a ripper episode, returning fan favourite. And yeah, little Nath Valvo making his Dumb Dumb debut. Yep, very, very funny. Edo's back and getting amongst it. It's really good. Yep, so enjoy this episode.

We will see you at the end of the show for another edition of Talking Dumb Dumb, where we talk about our Patreon, which is a way that you can support the show if you enjoy it. So stick around for that, but until then, enjoy this new episode. Hey, mates. Welcome once again to another episode of The Little Dumb Dumb Club.

Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo and with me as always, the other half of the show, Carl Chandler. G'dayay dickhead. Very exciting episode this week. We've got a... It's a great one. I've already listened to it. Really?

Yeah, it's really good. How does it go down for us? Man, it's pretty good towards the end. At the start it struggles a bit. Okay. It's a lot of cunts making shit up at the start. Right, right. So, yeah.

Well, let's get this hard early part out of the way. Right. And then we can really crack on and have some fun. Great. Joining us on the show today, Anne Edmonds and Nath Valvo. Yay! Yay! Thanks for having me first time on.

Long time listener. Long time listener. I don't listen to podcasts. But you were right, Carl. This sucks. I've heard good things, guys. Oh, nice. I think you're onto something here.

Oh, nice. What have you heard onto something here. Oh, nice. What have you heard? What have you heard that's good? Have you thought about doing live shows of this podcast? Yeah. We have, but too many people get really drunk and pass out and scream things and throw things at us. Yeah, I did it once.

Yeah. Didn't you get titties out? No. That's not canon. That happened. No. Oh, they were canons. Carl, come on.

Do you know what episode number this is? This will be, I think, like 425 or something like that. Is that how many exist? What do you think episode number means? No, we don't name it like 606 and we've only done five episodes. No, I thought it might be like this is season three, episode 400. Oh, no, no, we don't name it like 606 and we've only done five episodes. No, I thought it might be like this is season three, episode 400. Oh, no, no, we don't do it. So we just said 425 and you think we've done more than that.

Well, I don't know. We have been doing it for a while. We have been doing it for a while. Yeah, as evidenced by the number 425. I guess that's, no, because there's how many weeks? Oh, yeah. There's 52 weeks in a year. Yeah.

And you try and put one out one a week? We do put one out a week. Okay. We try and we succeed. You seem thrilled about that. You seem really relaxed. You sound like my fucking parents. Even at Christmas?

Yeah, we keep going. We don't take any breaks here. We haven't been to our family's Christmas dinner for years. We just do this. We just do this. Do you think on some level, even though there's love in the room, there's a little bit of an abusive relationship happening with this podcast?

A little bit. In what way? Like you think you can't escape it, but you love it, but you hate it. Yeah. No, we're trapped. If we had something better to go to, we'd fucking go to it.

Don't worry. Yeah. What happens if one of you go somewhere? Do you bank up a few? Yeah. That's what's happening right now. Oh, right. This is a bank.

Carl's not here. If you're listening to this, when this comes out, don't come to my house because I'm not there. Right? A thing you have legitimately been scared about in the past. Yes, totally. There was one time Carl went away where he was like, we were banking episodes in advance

and he was like, let's not talk about me going away on the podcast because I'm scared about what will happen with the listeners. All right, Kevin McAllister from Home Alone. All these statues of people dancing, playing music. What do you think is going to happen? Because this is at a point where I'm getting multiple phone calls every day, heaps of texts and I was getting –

Yeah, I know about that. And people knew where I lived basically and as soon as I walk out the front of the house, people were driving past and screaming at me. So that's why I was trying to not put a red flag up and go, empty house over here, everyone. Back in the day, they used to say, leave a radio on, so your robbers won't know you're away.

Now it's don't announce it on a podcast. Don't put any eps out. Go dark. But that's the great thing about the position you were in, is that, yeah, you totally justified. I got why you did it did it but you still can't say i don't want people to know that i'm away yeah without sounding like you're wearing a tinfoil hat yeah yeah sure yeah i'm worried about what my fans will do yeah to my house i'm worried about the the people that like me how much they're gonna fuck my house up when i go away yeah Yeah, worst case scenario, what did you think would happen?

Like they'd break in and steal stuff or just like what? Well, that's a pretty worst case. Podcast listeners or podcast guests? No, listeners. Oh, no, look, to be fair, yes. Previous guests who haven't had flea on. Look, I don't think I'm telling Tales Out of School to say that Greg Fleet is a previous guest of the show, hopefully future. Hopefully he survives and keeps living.

But who knows? We're all really rooting for him. Yeah. I used to be one of his go-to people for lending money because at the very least I'd run regular comedy rooms. So I could book him in advance and go, all right, well, here's half the pay or whatever. So then he'd go, okay, just come around to my house and drop off that money and i'm like i'm not fucking going around to your house in the middle of my uber shift to give you money like i'm already giving you money why am i driving for half an hour to do it you come to my house he's

like all right i'm like fuck that was a bad decision so then it became oh my house is dirty how about i just meet you on the street but you're going the other way with fleety to the fans where you're like calm adam overseas i'd love to meet you up to give you that money for the gig but i'm out of town but that happened so many times with fleety that was like oh i'll just meet you on that street corner and then you know even he's not that dumb where he's like yeah you don't want to give me the address of your house i'm like yes yes you're right fleety i don't well done um me the address of your house? I'm like, yes. Yes, you're right, Fleety. I don't. Well done. Who's the number one Carl fan in the listenership?

Oh, interesting. Are they fans or have we established that? We've established that they're not. We don't call them fans. What do they yell out the window at you? Fuck it. Yeah, yeah. Really?

Do you have a cute name for them? Chando, you fuckhead Or duck sandwich Or fucking You know whatever You know all the cool stuff Who's the most Who's driven past The most times

I don't know Because I don't know Who these people are They just yell out I mean that would be great If you could recognise Tone of voice by now Yeah

That's so good So next time someone Yells out faggot at me From a car window I can go Dum dum cluck Exactly yeah Oh I wish they were Saying something that nice at me.

The ep's gone out. Fans are in. No, but honestly, that was me. I was confident that much that people were doing general abuse and I'm like, thanks for listening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been all right though recently. Yeah, it's been better.

It's been all pretty pleasant. It's been better. I feel like we sort of put them on notice a bit and now they're better. I feel like we've talked about it a bit too often again recently and I'm about to get another tide of it. But we'll see. I think more people use my phone now to go, what's this person really like on the show?

Or how come you haven't had this person on? Inside information. Gossips. Get out of it. Maybe these people were listening, which is not a bad story about them. But I remember I did a show in Canberra Comedy Festival this year or maybe last, and a man came up to me afterwards in the foyer and he had a Dumb Dumb T-shirt on and gave me feedback on my show,

which was fine. It was not bad feedback. I don't think that's one of ours. But then someone said – I think he must have bought that shirt from an op shop or something. And then another comic said to me, oh, yeah, Dumb Dumb fans always give you feedback. What?

Oh, really? Yeah, guys, pull your finger out. I can't remember who told me that. What do you mean, me, oh, yeah, Dumb Dumb fans always give you feedback. Oh, really? Yeah. Guys, pull your finger out. I can't remember who told me that. What do you mean, like, feedback as in, I just want to say great show? The feedback was that you've become a lot better. So it was nice feedback.

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. I mean, we've all become better. A little bit underhanded. Yeah. Depends how that's delivered, isn't it? Yeah. It's like when my mum calls my shows plays.

Yeah. But, yeah, that was a boring story that went nowhere. But I just remember someone else saying to me, oh, yeah. No, that's interesting. That's interesting. I've never heard that. You get feedback from the ride. I've gotten, as these guys know, I've gotten money from a Dum Dum fan once saying thanks for your appearances on the Dum Dum.

Oh, yeah, that's right. How much cash? You slipped a 50 at a gig or something. Yeah, and you guys got nothing. Yeah. I didn't give you any percentage. I think this was before we were on Patreon, so hopefully that's right. How much cash? You got to slip to 50 at a gig or something. Yeah, and you guys got nothing. Yeah. I didn't give you any percentage. I think this was before we were on Patreon, so hopefully that person has seen the error of their ways.

I loved it. Yeah, that was great. Yeah, fuck. Wow. I wish that was what I was getting in Riversdale Road, people chucking fittings out there. People chucking pineapples. Yeah.

And hopefully they drive past as you're meeting Fleety. Yes. So you can just pass that straight onto it. No, that'd be rotten if I met Fleety and I'm like, sorry, mate, I'm right out of it. And then someone drives by, hey, dickhead, here's a pineapple. Just making it rain out the window. How did the address get out there?

Was it you, Tommy? Not the address. I gave the phone number out, but the address. You've talked before about just people seeing you on a particular road. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just talked about the road. I didn't say exactly. I don't think anyone knew exactly where I live,

but I would just, I'd walk out the door and someone would yell at me. So it was like, it wouldn't be that hard to figure out or whatever. You'd see people on trams and down the street and stuff. For whatever reason, we worked out that that area is a real listener hotspot. May so. Yeah, yeah. Now I've got listeners in my building where I live now. Yes.

God. They're moving in. They park next to me. Really? This is reminding me of my grinder days. We used to live in an eight level. I've got listeners in my building where I live now. Yes. They're moving in. They park next to me. Really? This is reminding me of my grinder days. You used to live in an eight-level apartment. I used to live in an eight-level apartment. I don't fuck the listeners, by the way.

Not at all then. But, you know, when a guy was like five metres away, you're like, oh, they're in my building. They're in the house. Do you take the risk? Coming from the inside. Do you hook up with someone that lives in your building? I'm coming from inside my house.

Anyway, Carll did you root them i've just moved in i live in an apartment building now for the first time in my life we're inside it yeah i'd love to hook up with someone in my building really yeah you've got a pool at the front so that's a good meeting place it gets to you know it's coming up to summer yeah you've both got most of your clothes off already you jump in the pool and it's like all you got to do is take off one more item and you go for it the pool, like all the apartments like look onto the pool. Oh, right. So I just lie in there in an inner tube.

Yeah. Just kind of presenting. Right. Just, you know, waiting for the ladies to come to me. And also shows how long it's been since you've been on a date, Carl. If you think people meet at a pool. If you think people meet poolside. Yeah.

Yes. At the building box social that we have once a week. Why not? That's a good place to meet, isn't it social that we have once a week. Why not? That's a good place to meet, isn't it? Sure. I don't know. Is it? I don't know if you've ever been approached by a man.

You love a pool. I'm always in the pool. Why don't you get approached by men? Really? We do. We do. Give your address out. Yeah.

Change it up, Edo. Roll the dice. Isn't it? Come on. No, it's not. I grew up there. I'm in West Brunswick now. Okay. Other side of the race course. So, up, Edo. Roll the dice. Come on. No, it's not. I grew up there. I'm in West Brunswick now, other side of the race course, so fuck you. But yeah, what do you think? Hooking up

with someone in a building? I know, because I said that to someone the other day and they were like, you can't. You can't hook up with a neighbour. You can't hook up with someone in your building. I think it'd be cool. If I hooked up with someone in my building, it'd either be this 50-year-old woman who I nicknamed Sluggo or... Yep, okay. She sounds good. Sounds promising. Hang on, she's the number one with someone in my building, it'd either be this 50-year-old woman who I nicknamed Sluggo. Yep, okay, she sounds good.

Sounds promising. Hang on, she's the number one prospect. Or a guy with a ponytail that just sort of like drives a ute and like puts incense on and chants. That doesn't add up, does it? And he just does a lap of the block in the ute and comes back. That rules. He just fangs it round and then brings it back and then gets back on the porch and just like, I don't know,

and puts blues music. What's his nickname? I don't have one for him. I was going to say, I'm going to have to vote for Slago based on the fact that you've already got like a cute little pet name for it. Yeah. That's the hardest part in a relationship, working out what the little nickname you have for each other is going to be.

It's the ute and the – did you say the blues music? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the bit that doesn't – Oh, really? Utes and blues? That throws me more than – Incense and ute is a really good combination. Yeah, incense.

He's really nice. He puts the bins out. Is he single? Have you had a chat? He's about 60, I think. Sluggo and Edo. No, that's – Sluggo's the one that Yael told us off for filming in the driveway. You're filming?

Well, I was filming on my – we were filming stuff on our phones, Greg and I and Damien, and she came out and went off at us. And then she sent a letter – Is this when you were dressed as the true Aussie patron? No, no. But then she sent a letter around to everyone in the building saying, filming anywhere in the building is now banned. I'm like, I don it is i reckon you slug those rules i don't reckon you can ban filming just in people's houses but all right you know what you should film at the pool yeah

i had a thing where i i'm pretty sure i was putting stuff in the wrong bins down there because like a couple of weeks after i moved in because you were actively putting stuff in the wrong bins down there because like a couple of weeks after I moved in. Because you were actively putting stuff in the wrong bins? Yeah. We share a space with an Indian restaurant that's next door and I was putting my stuff in just this bin and then a sign came up within two weeks of me moving in that was like, this bin is for the Indian restaurant only. And not to be narcissistic but it's like I've moved in,

then this sign has gone up. It's hard not to think that this is purely influenced by me. And especially because that bin's just full of curry and then all of a sudden there's like Uber Eats bags stuffed in there with half-eaten burgers. I was about to say, it sounds like the Dilruch bin, but he's from Sri Lanka, so it's probably on a lot of lists. So it's good that you didn't say it.

It's good that I didn't say it. Lucky that that has been unseen. Dil sent me a message. What did Dil send me a message the other day saying? I didn't say it. Lucky that that has been unsealed. Dil sent me a message. What did Dil send me a message the other day saying? I'll think about that. Okay. Back to getting roots in your apartment. Yeah.

I noticed that we didn't have to get into a lift to get to this apartment, particular apartment. That's a good sign. In what way? Well, the lift's the killer if you do and it goes awkward. Oh, you're going to have to see them in the lift. There's no lift to get up. That's it. I'm very isolated out the back here. I never really Oh, you're going to have to see them in the lift. There's no lift together. That's it.

I'm very isolated out the back here. I never really see anyone from my building. It just comes down to the lift. Yeah. Okay. That's interesting. So you did hook up with – No, I didn't because of lift situation.

It'd be all right though at the end of the night. You'd be like, catch you later. Might as well sleep in our own beds. Yeah, of course. That happens anyway with Grindr. Really? Yeah, very rarely do you stay the night. Okay, so I can fuck someone in my building or I can be gay.

Yes, that's how my dad put it, yes. What if I put up on the – we've got like a little building notice board. What if I just put a – I just canvas for dates on that? Sure. I just put up a little printout of like a dual mock-up Tinder profile and just put myself on there. And put like a dual mock-up tinder profile and just put myself on there and put look i live in a cool location in east melbourne i've got a pool yeah you won't have to see me in the lift don't worry never get in the thing

yeah you know maybe in the mail room i'll see you sometimes but you know are you what length are we looking at there i want to know what apps you're on i'm on the apps i'm not really doing much on there though i'm not really doing numbers at the moment. Do they do distance on those apps? They do, yeah. So like this person is this metres away? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what distance is. Well, I meant as in they tell you specifically.

I didn't know that about the straight apps. So I could shrink it right down to just have – To just within two or three rooms away. Yeah, because does that count floors as well? If someone's up on the 11th floor of the building, do they measure that or is it just pure? Does it only go sideways? It doesn't go up?

Yeah, that's a really good question. Does anyone actually use that pool? Because I'm looking around at apartments at the moment and if you've got a pool. You want to rent that pool out. No, but if you've got a pool in your apartment block, it's a nightmare when it comes to like body corporate fees. You've got to pay for it.

And how often are you seeing someone in that pool? I've seen people in there maybe three times since I moved in. But with the weather hasn't been very good. Yeah. Summertime, you are not going to be able to sleep for shenanigans. I know. I'm worried about that. Yeah.

You are living in the sort of cabana, aren't you? I am. Yeah. Yeah, I'm in the little pool house. Yeah. He's the Kato Kaelin of podcasts. Is that a lap pool? How long is that pool?

20? No, it's like 20 metres. Yeah, it's not very long. You're not chucking laps in there. Well, I mean, everything's a lap pool if you want it to be. Yeah, you're a big swimmer though. Like, that's amateur hour out there for you. But I reckon...

You swam the English Channel, didn't you, or something? No, I swam in... Or something. Edinburgh went that bad. Yeah. No, I swam in Vanuatu. Right. Island hopping.

But if there's any developers listening. Hey? Boring. You only swam between countries. Let's talk about something else now. Let's go back to the pool in this apartment. Yeah. I just want to say because I reckon there might be some property developers listening.

Right. No pools and no gyms. Cut it out. Oh, really? Yeah, cut it out. No gyms. We've got a gym and it's a piece of shit. No one's going in there.

Get out of it. All gyms in all hotels are pieces of shit. You might as well go without. Yeah, but this one, when I moved in, it was just an empty room and it took the guy, the building manager, ages to get new equipment. And then he just put in some bikes. It's like, what's the fucking point of that? I only learned like two years ago that you pay for it.

Yeah, you pay for it. You're a dumb person. If you go into an apartment building and it has a gym, you pay for it. There's a lesson for your dumb, dumb listeners. But I think what offsets that cost is living in a granny flat out the back of the apartment building that's above the car park. So you're saying you get a cheaper room? I think so. Can you hear cars coming get a cheaper room? I think so.

Can you hear cars coming and going down there? Sometimes, but not really. Really? Yeah. It's going great up here, guys. Well, hey, speaking of meeting people and speaking of my phone number being out there and whatever, I've been getting... Speaking of meeting people.

No, well, listen, I've been getting a lot of calls lately from one certain number. Tommy Daslow's mum. Yeah. Been getting a lot of phone calls from Tommy Daslow's mum. She's ringing me. Really? When was the last time? A little while ago, but I've, you know.

You told me about two, but have there been others? No, I've had three. Three? Yeah. Please tell me it's from that home phone. No. No, from the mobile like nine three eight seven two you know those numbers yeah yeah yeah i'm sus on a home phone coming up yeah oh i'm like the sus thing the non-sus thing of your mum ringing oh the non-sus thing of you

having my mum's number so it saved in your phone you know what i didn't i didn't have it saved because i i keep getting these missed calls and I'm like, who's ringing me? And then I clicked on the number and there was text coming from her, previous text, and it came through. It was like, ah, it's Mrs. Allsop here just saying happy birthday or whatever it was. She's good.

She's got a calendar. They asked for Carl's number one year so they could wish him a happy birthday. Now, I've told you about this, that your mum keeps ringing me. Yeah. Have you asked why? Well why don't you answer you prick? Because my phone's sort of fucked and a lot of times I get it just

doesn't even ring and I get a message. Why are you calling? Hello? Why are you calling? Should I ring her back now? When was the last one? It was a while ago. Is it because Tommy's been crying? And she's been like, I'll ring his best friend.

Oh, really? And be like, can you just go around and check out my Tommy's party? I love you. This could be a surprise party. It was your birthday. That would be cool. It was in August. So what better surprise?

Oh, yeah. A late one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What bigger surprise than a party in Feb? Exactly. Yeah, that's the way to really get me. Yeah. You better answer.

So did you ask your mum at all or not? Yeah, I have a good idea of what it's about. Oh, really? Yeah. Is it private? It's very private. Oh, really? It's actually not a million miles off what Edo just said before.

Oh, really? Man, this went dark. Because I thought I was just getting pocket dialed or something. No, no. It was on purpose. No, it was on purpose. Oh, no. And it's a very frustrating breach of, I don't know what you'd call it.

It's just my parents being fucking a bit annoying. Doctor patient confidentiality Do they listen to this? No, god no I've talked about it a bit recently Before I started going to see a psych I had a night where I was with them Where I didn't want to go out

But I just was like not in a good way And kind of like opened up to them And was very honest and just like yeah I've got some stuff going on and I'm gonna work on it but yeah I just have been feeling like this and then the very next day was when you were like your parents called me and I'm like fuck I understand being concerned and wanting to check up and everything but of all the fucking people to get on to like they have so many numbers of people that I know. Caring, loving people.

Hang on. Unless did you tell your mum. You didn't even have to actually get on to him for this to go horribly. Did you tell your mum and dad that I was the cause of the problem? Were they ringing up to say stop it? You leave our son alone. Yeah. So anyway, that's. No, no, no.

It's fine. It's fine. But I've got questions like when did they get your number? Well, like Tommy said, I think to say happy birthday maybe? Yeah, I think they came to a pod that we did on your birthday. Okay, right. No, it was when we were doing the live show for your 40th. Right.

And so they were like, hey, give us his number. Oh, right. I reckon that's a big step in any friendship is when the parents have your number. Exchanging friends' phone numbers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Parents' phone numbers. That's a big one. I have very few of my friends' parents' numbers.

I reckon my older friends, sometimes I call them my real friends. Yeah. From my childhood, my parents would have those numbers. Isn't that nice when you go and talk to your real friends and you don't have to talk about comedy? Yeah, you forget. It's so good. Everyone's fucked.

Yeah. But then you get a few beers and you think, this story about this shit open mic, this is pretty transparent. A normal social circle. That suicide joke didn't really, that didn't land. Neither did that AIDS joke. Man, that would have killed it's spleen. Fucking get into it, guys.

And I'll get them back with some pedophilia stuff. These guys are going to be eating out of my hand any minute now. But yes, I'm sorry about that, Carl. No, that's fine. I was genuinely curious. It's fine. I honestly thought it was a pocket doll. But now I feel bad.

I feel like I should ring them back. Yeah, you could. Yeah. It's a little bit. Someone's parents ring you three times it's pretty bad i reckon it's an answer on the second to be honest oh no but look i i very rarely pick up the phone because i've got i don't know what the fuck's wrong with my phone but it if you try and ring me it'll just sort of immediately go to voicemail and yeah right i just don't get reception

with it so is this you just trying to put this out for the listeners like don't even bother guys i'm not even gonna see it ring yeah there's just trying to put this out for the listeners? Like, don't even bother, guys. I'm not even going to see it ring. There's a message to the open micers you want to spot on Thursday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, they're too scared to ring me. I wish everyone was like open micers. They're the ones too scared to ring me.

All the podcasters are like, I'm fucking off. Two beers in. Let's fucking ring Chando. Yeah, I don't know. I don't think you need to call her back now. Yeah, it's too late, mate. It's too late. He's done for.

Is that what you're saying? Yeah, exactly. Now we've instead discussed it in a public forum. I feel good about it. When you brought that up just then, I was like, I felt a hot flush. I saw the hot flush. Don't worry. Oh, God, no, because I know what this is.

And it's not even, it's more just like, I don't know, is this interesting? Like, I don't worry oh god no because i know what this is and it's not even it's more just like i don't know is this interesting like i don't i don't care like i've been talking about that stuff a bit recently on the pod anyway yeah who cares but it's more just like you said that edo and i was like well there's actually no way of getting out of this and it'd be funny so i just have to say what it is and i don't care but i care about the content of this show yeah thank you i was like i wish it was something, I wish I had shit my little pants and that's what it was about. No, that's interesting enough. I thought you were just going to say, oh, yeah, mum sat on the phone

and that was it. Well, good of you to bring it up three times on separate days. Well, I don't know. They're old. They don't know how to use phones. Yeah, like my mum and dad Probably got my number In their phone And that's it

Yeah yeah Well they don't just have Your number in their phone And that's it That'd be fucking weird The only number In Tommy's mum's phone Is Carl

Yeah yeah And she just rings me to say Do you know what Tommy's number is And she's always sitting on it Yeah yeah She's asking you Can you pass this on to Tommy Yeah

Carl have you got a white pages In front of you Can you look up this person Tommy do you know If your therapist Sees other comedians like my one does? Oh. No, we've got the same therapist. Do you want as well?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've talked about that. I just thought you knew who we were talking about. Nah. So. I do because it got recommended to me by one. And what better recommendation than, you know, someone who can't fucking keep their life together.

I'm the only comedian not in therapy. Well, you see, I'm the only comedian not in therapy. Well, you two are. Yeah, and it shows. Yeah, we fucking answer the call on our friend's mum's call. Yeah, get on it and then you can be well adjusted like the three of us. That's why I told Tommy's mum to tell you, but you won't answer your fucking phone. No, but she must hate her life listening to it.

Tommy's mum? No. That's what I heard too. Everyone's therapist. That's what the call was about. Carl, I'm thinking about ending it all. My therapist gets comics and just artists and creative people. That's her calling.

So she's just copying so much of like, how come this person won't book me for have you been paying attention? Yeah, the self-involvement. And then it was after I found out that it was a few of us went, she never gave me names, but then afterwards, and I kind of put the line out a little bit around. You did a tweet about it, right? It's like double digits now.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Have seen her at some point. The list is growing. But it's kind of good in a way because you go and you're like, oh, I do comedy. She's like, yep, yep, yep. She's heard it all.

She's like, so you're a self-centred narcissist. See, I've talked about comedy with my guy and I've not told him that I got recommended to him by a friend who does comedy. But I'll talk about comedy and he's like, oh, like feigning ignorance. I'm like, you know. Don't give me that, you cunt. You know how it works. Tell me some slack here.

He's given it a bit of comedy. So you get up on stage. Interesting. Can you point to this doll where you think it's funny? She's super supportive, though, because she's been to both of our shows. Oh, that was my next question. Has she been? She came and she didn't tell.

What threw me is that she didn't tell me she was coming. And she didn't tell me afterwards. Which immediately fucked you up i made you go to therapy no tweet nothing from her and then i saw her like six months later gave you some feedback after the show she took like half an hour to tell me it was like half an hour in she was like really and and and you're very good at it i was like sorry she's like i saw your show and i was like whoa whoa whoa hang on hang on. And I realised why she didn't bring it up because the rest of the hour was me asking her about the show.

There you go. Do you really think I'm good? No, how good? Yeah, what she thought about it. Which people's your favourite? It's a nice change up for her to pay to come and hear you talk instead of the other way around. It's good that I got some of the money back.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She sat really close. She was on full display in mine. Oh, really? Was she taking notes or anything? Yeah. Was she looking at the clock behind you like she normally does?

Seeing how long there is left like I do in comedy shows. I see the tissues. There's someone that we know who is in therapy who had the same thing. The therapist came along to their show, but they knew they were there. Yeah. And the show was them talking about being in therapy and then they're like doing a bit of a double act with the therapist. What do you think of this bit?

And they're like, please stop talking to me. Another breach. So many breaches. I love that. So many breaches. That is like inception levels of narcissist. I love it. I'm on board.

I told my guy to listen to this. Really? Can't wait for the feedback. This particular one? No, no, just, yeah, this one that we're halfway through doing. I've told him to listen to it. Last week I'm like, buddy, look, I've got a good feeling about this one that's in the diary.

He's actually in the bedroom next door. He's listening now. But, no, just the podcast in general. He's like, okay, I'll check it out. Do some homework. I wonder if from their point of view, if seeing what we do with who we are as people on stage, if that helps them help us.

Does that make sense? I think so. I wonder if she came to go, all right, so that's what Edo does with her exes. Yeah, she needs a lot more help than I thought. I wonder. Why is she taking her topic? But it was your one, did the author of this,

the show that she went to, was it the Helen Baddou show? No, no, no. It was actually, interestingly enough, it was my show maybe three years ago that was very dark and very like, who am I? What have I done? Right. I mean, fuck, that would have been amazing

if she'd come to see you do a show as a character and you've not told her that that's what you're doing. Yeah, she's like, oh, yeah. She's mental. Which one do you want me to work on? How often do you guys go? Because I'm still once a week in it. Oh, no.

To me it's like you've got to start frequently and then you kind of get fit at it and you don't have to go as much. So I was like – I was once a month for like six months. Okay. And now I'm like once every three. I have flare-ups. Yeah. Yeah, flare-ups.

And then like I haven't gone in like six months. Okay. So you're probably right, Edo. I'm probably when next time I'm having an episode. I'm still on the whole – I'm still on the plan on the mental health. So I'm getting those Medicare. I'm getting those rebates. But I'm getting through them and I'm looking at the numbers going like –

What is it, 12 for the year or something? Yeah, 10. 10 for a year. Oh, you can get an extra 10, I reckon, throwing in. So you need him to say you're still screwed and then you go back and you can get an extension. Another 10. I've already got one extension. I don't know if it's back and you can get an extension. Another 10. I've already got one extension.

Maybe get your mum to ring him. Mum! Yeah, but I'm getting near the end of the plan and just going like, fuck, if we could speed this up because once I'm going to full price with this thing. Oh, right, right. It's cost. The trial's almost over.

Exactly. You're up to the title subscription that I got for the Beyonce album. If I think about what I would have been if I wasn't a comedian, that was a job I would love to do. Really? I would like it. Yeah, I would love it. I love people and their problems.

I want to dob someone in very quickly on this because we were talking very briefly about this the other day and someone that was going to therapy was saying that friend of the show danny mcginley was then was then saying to them going oh so you're going to therapy and you know what's that like and they were like yeah it's fine right well i got this wrong with me can you sort of find out how to fix this and like proxy yeah trying to get a bit of like ask uh while you're in there yeah it was therapy it was like yeah what what so just give me the bullet points of what they've said to you. It's like, it's not how it works, you fucking idiot.

It's not setting up a DVD player. I've never been to uni, but I'm assuming this is what a group assignment's like. Someone on the last day doesn't do any of the work, gets a good grade. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. That's cheesy. That's looking over someone's shoulder in therapy. Yeah. That's so funny. Budget therapy is pretty good shit. That's looking over someone's shoulder in therapy. Yeah, that's so funny.

Budget therapy is pretty good shit. Did they do it? The idea of that. No. They were just like, well, what do you want me to tell you? It's like, you know, whoever this is can't go into therapy and go, oh, what would you recommend for someone who got the arse from writing a banner job, you know? Just hypothetical. I just want to test you out. You know, you're good with me, but I want

to see just what you'd be like under these pretend scenarios. For the Western Bulldogs, someone said, get the fuck out you out. You're good with me, but I want to see just what you'd be like under these pretend scenarios. For the Western Bulldogs and someone said, get the fuck out of here. You're not good enough to do a free job. Let's do a bit of theatre sports therapy. Wouldn't Carl make a great therapist? Oh, man.

I'd love it. I'd love it. You'd be like, oh, fuck up. I've said that before. I've said something similar but that makes sense like I'd like to be a PT I'd like to be a personal trainer let's have a little

let's have a little like role play where I go to Carl the therapist and tell him one of my problems and let's see what he please can you get your mum

to ring you first book this in well you're bringing up my mum on the podcast so immediately patient doctor confidentiality has been breached. I'll just say this.

I remember the first question therapist asked me. Oh, he is a freebie. Yes. He is a freebie. Danny McGinley. After how are you and how is stuff going, this is the first therapy question she asked me. How is stuff going?

Was. Should we ask him? No, no, no. No, because I'm the doctor. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But please please i'm interested in this please tell me she asked me to what my relationship was like with my dad oh that old chestnut was the first like thing she asked me in the very first session she made me a green tea and then she asked me that question that might be a bit i was gonna play a different

character but that's fine no i reckon what we need to do is Carl needs to make a welcome. Let's see Carl make a welcoming environment for someone new. Okay. So, Edo's walking in the door. You're nervous. Yeah. All right. So, I'm playing the psychiatrist here. Yeah.

You've just read over the Hippocratic Oath. Just remind yourself. Yep. Okay. All right. It's my first ever session. All right. Here we go.

All right. Pretend to care about someone. All right. Here we go. Here we go. Look at a photo of your cat just to stir up some emotion. All right. Hi, I'm Stacey from Ascot Vale.

Oh, hi, Stacey. Thanks for coming. You're already lying down. That's good. Now. What? What? I'm trying to give a bit of colour to the story.

Sorry, I'm just your receptionist. I just was showing Stacey in, so I shouldn't have interjected. I'm trying to think of those New Yorker cartoons where people are on the couch and the doctor's sitting there with a pad. I've never laid down in a session. Really? No. I've never laid down, but I might in the next session

just to see if he compliments me on the laying down. Oh, you're already laying down. That's good. There's no lying down options in our one, just chairs. She's just a chair. One chair. Or two chairs. No, mate. It's no lying down options in our one. Just chairs. Just a chair. One chair. Or two chairs. It's what you want it

to be. To my guy, if you're listening, it's great in there but get a fucking chase lamp or something. Get some other furniture options.

A nice poof to rest your feet. Get it a bit like what we see in the Woody Allen movies. Make it look like you're the real deal. Yeah,

while I'm going to talk about the stuff that we see off camera with Woody Allen. If I went to a psychiatrist, I'd want it to be the Woody Allen deal, the New Yorker deal. I don't want to walk into an Australian psychologist going,

what's fucking up your ass, mate? What about an impressionist therapist where you can go, give me a bit of Arnie today, mate. All right, come on, back into the scene. Oh, yeah, so it's like, okay, we finished with this session, but you'll be back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What seems to be bothering you, you know?

You just get him to do, you know, whatever voices he can. Right, okay. Well, all right, we'll be Nick Capper, the therapist. All right, Eddie, what is your problem? Tell me about your father. Yeah. How come you smell so good? I want you to try and take it seriously.

Okay, yeah, I am. I am, totally. Now the patient's become the therapist. Okay, go. All right. Hi, I'm Stacey from Esquivale. Hey, Stacey, thanks for coming. I'm happy that you've trusted me to come in here on your first time

and you've obviously heard very good things about – This is the same speech he gave me my first spleen. I've heard this before. I'm glad that you trust me. No one's ever said that. Nothing's happened yet. You have no reason to trust him yet. And he's also bigged up himself and people have told you I'm good.

Did you say people have told you, recommended me? Like what? The first place he goes in a role play. Obviously, I'm great in this scenario. Totally. Go straight to word of mouth. Well, why would you be here otherwise? Yeah, why did you go anyway?

That's a good question. You just walk past the shop and see psychologists and go, oh, this sounds all right, knock, knock, knock. You are cheap, to be fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great, thank you. Now I've got another dimension happening here. All right, here we go. Thank you. Knock, knock, knock. You are cheap, to be fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great. Thank you. Now I've got another dimension happening here. All right.

Here we go. Thank you. Oh, no. What was your name? Stacey from Esquire. Why can't you just be Anne? Because I'm role playing. Oh, you're role playing.

All right, all right. Fair enough. Fair enough. All right. That's great. You're therapists two minutes in. Who are you again? Oh, God.

That's why I'm here. All right, Stacey. Thank you. I hope you're feeling good at the moment. You can trust me. I'll – so what would you say in three words how you're feeling in the last week? Very, very sad. Very, very sad.

Oh, let me look that up in the book. Well, that's bad. What book is this, Doctor? This is the bumper book of Holiday Psychiatrist. I just looked under V for that. Mad Magazine's the lightest side of therapy. Sorry, Stacey. I don't know why these guys here.

Forget the other two people are in the room. The paintings on the wall keep talking. The two patients before you just asked if they could hang around. I didn't see any problem with it, so I hope you're cool with it. Yeah, I'm cool. Yeah, yeah, great. Yell out if you've got any easier solutions, guys. Very, very sad.

I'm very sad to hear that, but that's what you're here for. Let's get that suicide feeling upside down. Let's crack into it. I didn't say I was suicidal. Oh, right, sorry. I just – that's what it said in the bumper book. I'm putting ideas in her head. That's what it said under very, very sad in the bumper book of holiday psychiatry.

Let's crack into it. What? Let's crack into it. It's not a giant leap from very, very sad to suicidal. I'm sorry. It kind of is. Also. How many varies does it take to get suicidal?

I don't think R U OK? Day's punchline was turn suicide upside down. Turn that suicidal feeling upside down. And also a giant leap isn't great. I'll just remind everyone in the room it is my first day as a psychologist. But she's heard you great. How can that be possible?

Well, I was a great personal trainer before this. That's where the recommendation is from. Anyway, thank you, Doctor doctor i am keen to crack into it crack it great great great glad you know the into it glad you know the uh the terminology um very very sad okay right well what would you say uh when did this feeling start and and why um well what happened was i was at work and um oh good that sounds you've got a job. That's great. What do you do? I work at Officeworks.

Officeworks. Okay, great. In Travencore. In Travencore, which is sort of part of Ascavale and Flemington, but it's sort of its own little suburb as well. Travencore? Yeah. There used to be a mental hospital there.

Okay, right. That's interesting you bring that up. Yeah. Why did you notice the mental hospital? I just can hear them in the there. Oh, okay. Right. That's interesting you bring that up. Yeah. Why did you notice the mental hospital? I just can hear them in the night. Right. Okay. Right.

And you're sure this hospital exists? Yeah, it did at one point. Right, right, right. Okay. But anyway, yeah, I'm at Officeworks and everyone's – I said – I got the feeling that everyone was going out for lunch. So, I went up to one of the guys. I was like, oh, can I come for lunch, Michael? And he said, oh, we're not going out for lunch. So I went up to one of the guys. I was like, oh, can I come for lunch?

Michael. And he said, oh, we're not going out for lunch. And then I went for a walk around the block and everyone was having lunch together. Hungry Jacks. Excluding me. That's very, very sad. Let's just give me first crack at it since I've got the degree on the wall. So I just don't know

what to do now. Right. And they were at Hungry Jacks in Travencore? Yeah, it's sort of, it's down, near more closer to Moonee Ponds. Right, right. And how long ago was this? Was this when they still had the really skinny chips or now when they have the fatter chips at Hungry Jacks?

No, it was only two weeks ago, so fatter chips. Oh, so the fatter chips, yeah. What do you reckon about them? I reckon the skinny ones were better. Yeah. Can I ask a question? Yes. What were they having jacks great question um they were all having like individual burger meals that yeah but that's it looked like they put an order in like as a group before oh right desserts or yeah it's like um yeah cokes and chips and burgers. Chips aren't a dessert, but anyway.

But anyway, that's... Yeah, no. Right. Okay, yeah, yeah, right. So, well, I'm sorry to hear about that. Now, why do you think that they would not want to have lunch with you? Have you given them any reason? Because I shit my pants. You shit your pants while you're working at Officeworks.

Right. Okay. Now, do you think the major problem here is that people don't want to have lunch with you or should we go back further and find out why you're shitting your pants maybe? Maybe we need to get to the root of this problem before we deal with like the… Yeah. Well, I just didn't make it in time. Right.

So, has that ever happened before or…? Yes, it has happened before. Yeah. Yeah. So, it's, I just didn't make it in time. Right. So has that ever happened before? Yes, it has happened before. Yeah. So it's not really you didn't make it in time. This is like an ongoing... Yeah. Right. Okay.

Did you mean to do it? Yeah. Right. Okay. This is interesting. Right. I feel like I've been dealt a toughie on my first assignment. My question is what office works is this

where all the staff can go to the lunch at the same time? And one that's so close to Hungry Jack. Just sign on the door, back in 15. Back in 15 and then on Edo's office it's back in one hour. It's over-interrupting. I've never heard anything like this. Look, I need all the help I can get with this one, I think. You've got in your next statement you have to wrap it up.

I've got to fix it all in one statement. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're nearly done for the hour. Shit. Shit. Time's ticking. All I'll say is thank God Medicare is taking care of a significant chunk of this. I'm about to – I'm just thinking what's the point of anything anymore?

Well, I would say both psychologically and physically, have you tried holding it in? Now, this exchange has made me very, very happy, which is, of course, the opposite of being very, very sad. Eureka, I think we've had a breakthrough in the patient that was there before you, you know, so that's something. Not by me, just popping back in to pick up my hat that I left in here. Yeah, he was suicidal before you came in here.

I think you created a warm environment there, Carl. Oh, thank you. Yeah. I might try that in my everyday life. Yeah, you should try that with your friends and family. Yeah, so just walk around. Stop being such a cunt. So, yes, in your day-to-day life, what comes natural to most people?

Pretend you're doing a funny role play. Hello. Everyone I meet from now on, I'll just pretend has got pants full of shit. How does that make you feel? Yeah, well, there we go. That's, no, no, not wrapping up or anything. No, no, no, no. I just enjoyed the session.

No, just like in an improv session, I'm just trying to sort of shake it out now, get back into my character as Kyle Chandler podcast. Yeah. I would love to get a, I'd love to get like, this should be sponsored by some kind of therapy, you know. Mental health. If we could get a, yeah, if we could get a.

It would be pretty cool if a therapy place had a promo code. Yeah, yeah. Like say, dum-dum, yeah, 25% off. Enter dum-cum. Especially dum-dum as well. Or West code. Yeah, yeah. Like you say, dum-dum, 25% off. Especially dum-dum as well. Or Westgate. Yeah. If you're feeling,

if you've got real doubts about yourself, just type in the code dum-dum and get cheap therapy. Not only am I an idiot, I can't even afford the full price of psychology as well.

Oh man, I can't wait to tell mum price of psychology as well. Oh, man. I can't wait to tell mum about this one. I can tell her now if you want. I'm glad I was on the – I really was on the knife's edge there when that came up of like, should I just make something up? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's a funny thing I could make up? And I was like, I'll be caught in the lie.

I'm not as good at making up things as the man sitting across from me, as we just saw. Well, just then. We're all friends here pretty killer yeah that was good that was good improv yeah that was good yeah it was great yeah that's great like um i don't want the lesson of this podcast to be that if you do open up to your mates they're not going to do improv because if that's the message we're gonna there's a damage there oh yeah exactly i feel like you see people that do improv and you think, well, that's only causing more problems, surely. Yeah, someone listening to this,

they're just about to tell their parents how they've been feeling and they're like, oh, this is how it's going to end up with a fucking little pretend scenario. As you heard up the top, this week we are brought to you by ShipStation.com. Where you're selling online, getting your orders out the door quickly can be tough, especially during the holiday season, and that is why you need our generous sponsors, ShipStation.com, which is the fast and easy way to manage and ship your holiday orders all from the one place.

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Back into the episode. I might need therapy after because Nathan and I went to opening night of Star Is Born. Yeah, of course we did. Gold class. Yes. Tell me something, boy. The new movie starring Lady Gaga.

Lady Gaga. Bradley Cooper. Yeah, Bradley Cooper. Come on, guys. So I said to – The third remake of the classic movie. So Nathan said Star Is Born, so I turned around and I'm like, yeah, gold class. Let's just go all the way, right? Of course Star is Born, Saturna. I'm like, yeah, gold class.

Let's just go all the way, right? Of course. But he didn't tell me. It was only when we strategically got to the cinema that he told me that. So Nathan's boyfriend, Cody, came. Love Cody. Cody often stays on when Nathan goes home. He's fun.

Anyway. What does that mean? Loves the coke. Is that what you were trying to say? Just a fun guy By the way A few comedians have told me That when you've talked about Cody

Like on stage and on Twitter People think it's Nick Cody Yes Congratulations on losing all the pregnancy weight as well Doing quite well Now I see why he calls you the stunner I've seen quite a few pictures of your baby online recently. This is one of the few times that I'm looking at you right now

where I'm not seeing a picture of that baby. The weird thing about people thinking, comics thinking I was talking about Nick Cody hasn't me being on stage. It's being off stage on a road show just yapping in the car or just talking or whatever. And one in particular was I said, oh, yeah, Cody sent me a really good dick pic last night. I was just talking about my boyfriend Cody, whose first name is Cody.

Just like, hey, Cody. And I can't remember who it was. They held it for like two days. They thought it was Nick Cody. Right. So they didn't even go, oh, hang on. They just thought they were into something. They just got a bit of hot goss

they weren't supposed to know about about Nick Cody. They just thought they were into something. They just got a bit of hot goss they weren't supposed to know about about Nick Cody. They just thought when Nick Cody was talking about knocking back some froths, it's like, oh, fuck, that is a different story. You know, the crusher means something very different now. Beard game strong indeed. And, of course, the link is in our love channel. Yeah, Cody literally is a beard.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nick Cody is a loved man by my gay mates. He is a bear in the gay community. He's a hot bear. So a lot of my gay mates just think he's the hottest man on earth, and I often tell him that. So I think there was even a bit of that chat earlier in the night, and then whatever.

I can't remember who it was. Please, if you're listening, let me know who it was. I'm like, oh, I thought you were talking about Nick Cody. Like, yes, Nick Cody sent me a beautiful dick pic last night. Well, Nick listens to this and I'm sure he has your details. So, you know, if he wants to make good on this. That's disgusting, the thought of Cody taking a picture of his dick because he'd wedge a picture of his baby inside the picture as well.

That's not on. And for some reason he's in business class on a virgin flight sending me his dick pic from the lounge. Hashtag Rick Ross spoof. Anyway, back to it. So then we got to the cinema and that's when Nathan revealed that the seats in Gold Class, of course, are in twos. The whole business model of Gold Class is couples.

Dates, of course. It's a date night. It's on a bus. You're not just like a bench seat where everyone's just jumping on. No, it's not a church pew. Not everyone's welcome. Yes. I actually didn't technically know that until I booked the tickets,

by the way. But you still booked it. Yeah. You still had a look. That just makes it worse. You still had a look at the seat map and went. So you and Edda sit next to each other. That would have been awkward for Cody.

And then Cody sat next to his baby. Because it was when we were all, I think it came out when we were ordering the wine. I was like, oh, let's get a bottle to share. And you were like, um. Not only are the chairs in twos, for the people that haven't gone to Gold Class, they're very far away from each other. Because you've got a lot of leg room.

You've got a table for your little food. So you're really quite far back from each other You're not really going to the movies together If there's more than two of you No, it's not for threes It's absolutely not for threes It's not for threes So I had to sit behind these two

And they had all the stuff They had the wine They had all our share items I bought you snacks So you had a shared stuff But then you had to just walk You had to lean over You had to walk

15 minutes to get a chisel You had to walk over Yeah You had to drive over Get one of the waiters To go and get it for you You were so far away That you actually had to walk

Three or four steps That's how far away The steps were Rock bottom I did offer To take that seat I offered it once You said no

We moved on I don't remember you were like you know what I said now so psychologist Carl you know Edo comes in

and she explains this how do you sum up this this is session two isn't this sort of it's a little bit similar to the office work

it's the same problem as before it's a theme hang on hang on. Left out. Valvo, did you – Edo's character she was doing. Valvo, did you not want to sit next to her because she shit her pants?

Is that what's happening? That's Stacey. Stacey does that. Sorry, sorry. Stacey's bad. Stacey's dirty. Stacey. I've been to Gold Class once and I don't think I'll ever go back

because the seat that I had was kind of fucked where, like, when I was putting it back, it made this really loud squeaking noise and it echoed through the whole cinema. You could tell that everyone could hear it and was very put off by it. And so to a certain point I was just like, fuck, I'm not comfortable. I want this thing further back. And you can't. But I'm too tense to push the button.

That's not what you're paying 40 bucks for. Everything was astronomical in price. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't, you know, we were just like, what are we doing? Yeah, yeah. But it's fun. That's it. I've been once and I was pissed off because you get in,

you pay all that big figure and then you come in. And I thought it was like, all right, now you get all you can eat food. Included. As if. There's nothing. You don't even get a drink on entry, right? You get the chance to buy food priced too much. Expensive wine, overpriced wine that you'll get maybe a sip of before your friends.

You get more of the wine if you're not on a party of three. But I did get the chance. At least I didn't put some other sad cunt next to me. Stacey. I was just Stacey. Yeah, it really – in an age where you can go to restaurants and get like a bottomless brunch, you know, where you're allowed to sit there for hours and just have –

I've never heard of that. Really? There's a few places that do it. Where? Not everywhere. There's a place called Bell's that's really good that does – Where? I'm so interested. Gertrude Street. Is that a place called Bell's that's really good that does. Where? I'm so interested.

Gertrude Street. Is that a chicken place? It's a chicken place, yeah. So the food isn't unlimited but it's like as much booze as you want for like a three-hour sitting. Really? For brunch? Yeah.

Hang on. And all you can drink brunch? Yeah. Are you all right? I haven't invented. I'm just saying it exists. Hang on. I'm texting your mum.

He's getting drunk in the mornings. So, yeah, why can't the cinemas get on board? Because it's a run time of a film, an hour and a half, two hours. You can't go that insane. No. If they just threw in the booze. You'd rather pay like 60 and have that deal. What do you pay?

40 at least. 40 for the ticket, right? Yeah. And then the wine was like for the ticket, right? Yeah. And then the wine was like $50 for a bottle. Yeah. But that's the thing that stresses me out about going is like popcorn chicken was like $28. It was outrageous, wasn't it?

Sliders, of course. Yeah. Of course. Slide them up your ass. I just think the pressure that puts on the movie to be like the best thing you've ever seen is too high, you know? It's good for a movie like that because that was about too, that was a longy.

So you're at least getting good value. Yeah, you're setting up shop in there. You're having a little nap in the city. You hated the movie but at least it went for a while. I loved the movie. I love Gaga. I want to go see it. Go on.

Something happened like two, three years ago when someone thought it's okay to make movies go for ages. Enough. Every movie I've ever seen needs to just cut 20 minutes off. Edit it. Like comedies now go for two and a half hours. That's too long. No one wants to see that.

Get off. I've never not looked at my clock at 40 minutes in any comedian. I don't care if it's like. As soon as they say, hi, I'm, I'm like, fuck, wrap it up. Giving them the light. You're a big fan of that, Ed. We talked about this before. That you're standing up the back and you're like, fucking wrap it up. Giving them the light. Yeah, yeah. You're a big fan of that, Ed O'Stand. We've talked about this before, that you're standing up the back and you're like, fuck, wrap it up.

I'm always trying to wrap people up. I've given people the light. For people that don't know, you go to a comedy gig and whoever's running it generally, you know, if someone's going too long, they'll give people the light, which means in this day and age, waving your illuminated phone from the back of the room to let them know that it's about time to get off.

Except the room runner does that. Edo just does that Maverick style. I've had enough. It should be more of a self-policing industry. You were doing it in gold class. It was weird. To a movie. Projectionist.

Just hit double speed on this thing or whatever you can do up there. Well, yeah, speaking of Cody, you had a clip, your clip from the gala this year got a lot of hate from talking about triathlons. Yes. So your boyfriend does triathlons. Yep. I ran 10K the other week.

Excellent. Did you? Very long way. Yeah, I was pretty happy to get it done. It was the year anniversary this weekend of the Noosa Tri that that clip was about. Oh, right. Sorry.

You just did spit. I'm a prime athlete, mate. A bit of respect. The level of fitness of these guys is true. And the girls, everyone that does it is truly like unbelievable. To do a triathlon. Because I'm thinking about doing one. It's mind-blowingly fit.

Is your boyfriend a bit boring? The thing is, and that's such a good question. Thank you. Because it doesn't make sense. We're back in therapy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It annoys me that he's not. Right.

Because I'm happy for him to be. Like I'm super stoked that most of my mates, my real mates, are pretty boring because then it gives me like I have something to offer. Does that make sense? No, no, totally. I have something to offer the group. I'm the funny one. I've something to offer. Does that make sense? No, no, totally. I have something to offer the group. I'm the funny one. I've got the spark.

I feel like you've answered that in the wrong way I meant to ask the question because I used to live with a triathlete. Yes. And he was – I liked him, but he was very boring. He had the same routines every single day and he wouldn't eat. I remember one time he drank a Big M and was like, check this out. Dare me to? Yeah, it was like that this out that was like the day me too yeah yeah it was crazy Cody's the opposite Cody eats whatever he wants because he does try oh really

that makes sense yeah sensible about bedtimes and so of course all that stuff I get a job yeah yeah yeah so of course gonna get up gonna set an alarm you've got a proper job yeah be like he's someone's real friend he's not a comic yeah how many of these things have you got to get up He's got to set an alarm And you've got a proper job Yeah He's someone's real friend He's not a comic Yeah But how many of these things Have you got to be doing This is to you Carl

Yes Before you're getting judged As a triathlete Yeah that's a good point Is that a thing where it's like You know open mic comedians Where you know they've done Like three gigs

And they're up there going Like here's what I think As a comedian It's like yeah you're fucking Yeah I mean what's How many What are you doing here

Like four years If Cody ever said the sentence As a triathlet I mean, what's, how many, what are you doing here? Like four years? If Cody ever said the sentence as a triathlete, I would leave him. But how many has he done? How many triathlons has he done? Oh, like five, five or six. He did the big one, the one in Hawaii, like the Ironman. Oh, really? Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he's proper. But he's a triathlete. Yeah. Yeah, that's okay. I'll grant him that. I think if you traveled internationally to do it. Yeah.

Hang on. We know some bad open micers that have done gigs in. Well, not everything about my metaphor is transferable. But when I was doing the 10K, I saw something truly amazing. Like I did the 10K part of the Melbourne Marathon and you're in a big kind of cluster for most of it. I saw a guy running through the crowd wearing an ASRC T-shirt, so the Asylum Seeker Resource Centre, just kind of running through people

and fucking elbowing cunts out of the way, just doing a bit of shove work, which is – I love that of just like donning yourself in the garb of a charity and going like, well, now I'm allowed to just do what I want because I've got my credentials right here. Just like those people seeking asylum just trying to barge his way in. Skip the queue. Back of the queue, mate. So he's actually anti-asylum seeker and he's doing that for a bit of bad press.

Right. So he's like gone behind enemy lines sort of thing. I'll tell you where that is crazy. It goes on, not that I've done it many times, but in competitive swims. People like almost drown you trying to get over the top of, That is crazy. It goes on, not that I've done it many times, but in competitive swims. Really? People like almost drown you trying to get over the top of, especially going around like a buoy or something like that. I've been like nearly, they just swim over the top.

Yeah. I'm not a strong enough swimmer, but they, yeah, it's bad. I reckon that would happen. Has Cody talked about that? They do all sorts of crazy shit. They were like, they had to they had to take they had to introduce a rule that you're not allowed to take a shit or a piss in your suit doing triathlons was this during his job or the triathlon this is triathlon

because they would people were becoming so obsessed with time that they were like taking shits and while they were running and like pissing in their suits. Gross. Their triathlon suits. What is the solution there? You just duck off to the side. Right. A lot of bush.

I kind of hoped I was going to shit myself at the end of the 10K. Look, there's a really famous couple. Google it if you're bored listening. I'll put it on pause first. There's a guy finishing a triathlon shitting his pants. Yeah. Have you seen the pic? Yeah, yeah.

So he's like he's really triumphant crossing the line and he's just covered in shit. Like it's covered out. The best moment of the week. Yeah. Because he's just like I'm finishing. He's not paying for that getting image, is he? No, no.

He's just getting the watermarks. Yeah, yeah. Like he got his money back from James Penledis to be honest. That is a very inside joke there. D-Comics. It's very inside baseball. Yes, but I wanted to be that guy. I thought that'd be pretty cool.

Did you have to hang a piss on your 10K run? No. So maybe you just don't. See, I feel bad now because everyone's getting fit now. I used to be just about the only comic who was going on those 10K runs. And now fucking you're doing the same distance as me. Yeah, but you're older than everyone. I'm not saying that to be a diss, but it's like how old were you when you did –

because I'm thinking about that stuff more. He's doing it for fun. You have to do it to keep yourself alive, Carl. That's what he's trying to say. Like when you did it, I would have been like 24 or whatever. It's if I'm fucking doing that then. I know, but then what I'm going to say is, then Dil. Yeah.

Has then, without saying anything, and I think this affects both of us. Yeah. I've done a bunch of 10K. You've done your first 10K. You're happy with that. Then Dil pulls out a 20K, and all of a sudden we're like, Jesus. Fucking hell. I know.

So on that day, so I did it with a couple of mates, and one of my friends who I did it with, she, so the run was on a Sunday morning. She, on the Friday night, went out and got absolutely blind. Saturday she's messaging me going, like, I think I'm fucked for tomorrow. Like, so far today I've had KFC and Hungry Jacks. I am – fucking I'm in trouble here. And then we do the run. We start off together, and then I finish thinking, like,

oh, I finished the first out of my group of friends. That's kind of cool. And then what I didn't realise, she had kind of pulled ahead at a certain point, but I just hadn't seen her. So she came first out of, like she beat me by like seven minutes or something. Wow. So I'm like, when did you finish?

And she's like, yeah, ahead of you. I'm like, what? And I just, because it was such a shock to me, I just purely just instinctively, I just go, I can't believe I got beaten by a fucking wino. And our friendship has suffered a bit for it since. I'm happy you said wino with that W there. I was like, where's this sentence going?

Yeah, me too. I was like, all right, Tommy. But, yeah, so there's that with just the group of friends. But, you know, I'm still like, whatever, you know, I should just be proud of having done this for me. Something I never thought I'd end up doing would be like any kind of like group running thing. And then 15 minutes later I get on Instagram and see Dill posting,

oh, I did the half marathon. I just went, what is the fucking point? Like I may as well have just not done this. He's wiped it for you. Totally. He's ruined it. That's my attitude. Every time I see someone finishing a triathlon, I'm like,

well, just thank God I didn't. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And, I mean, there would be people beneath me who didn't. I mean, yeah, I don't know. If Dill wasn't in the mix and, Colin, you had just seen me do it, would that have made you feel bad? No.

No? No. I felt bad because now everyone's doing it and I wasn't even doing it because my parents came to stay that weekend and I was like. Yeah, they called me to say. Yeah, right. How is mum? She hasn't called me for a while.

But yeah, anyway, I'd love to build up to do the triathlon. Let's do the next one together then. Okay. Yeah. Triathlon or run? Run. I'm not doing triathlon. There's a run.

I think the next big run in Melbourne, it's like during the comedy festival or something. No. It's like right at the start of comedy festival. There's always other ones. There's one in March, really? There's heaps. There's always other ones. Once you're into running, you'll discover.

There's just so many. But you want to do one of those really good ones where you run onto the, like the one I did, you finish up on the MCG and they close the streets for it. Yeah. That's part of it. There's ones that go over the Bolte and stuff. Yeah. What if we got a Westgate run going?

Oh, man. No, that's not going to happen. There isn't one. I've looked. There's got a Westgate run going? Oh, man. No, that's not going to happen. There isn't one. I've looked. There's not a Westgate run. I reckon that should be our next thing that we campaign to get started. The City of Melbourne, we petition them with the listeners of this show to shut down the Westgate.

No one listening to this show is running any Westgate run. Except after Carl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we propose it and go, right, so we all run onto the Westgate and that's the finish line. Oh, how do we get people off the Westgate? Oh, they'll take care of themselves. Yeah, you'll be sweaty.

You'll need to cool down. There's a body of water just nearby that you can bathe yourself in. Well, guys, that is all the time we have on the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Nath Valvo and Edmonds, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you. Thanks for having us. Guys, you have shows coming up tomorrow

you're going to be in London yeah do you have London people yeah we do this would be so sick if they came because look

it's not the easiest job to sell tickets to London at Soho Theatre but I am there for the first week of December doing my show

and I really like this show it's really fun great so come along so what and what's the name Show Pony

that's the name Show Pony at the Soho Theatre it's good I've seen it funny I didn't even look at my clock I think I looked at my watch at 48 minutes So come along. And what's the name? Showpony. That's the name. Showpony at the Soho Theatre. It's good. I've seen it. Funny. I didn't even look at my clock.

I think I looked at my watch at 48 minutes. That's good. Glad you've turned it from clock to watch. Wow. I sort of thought you were like the guy in Public Enemy for a while, just carrying around a clock around your neck. Well, that's good that you weren't bored for 48 minutes because someone was lighting me at 20, so who was it? Oh, shit.

Edo, what have you got coming up? I don't know. Are you going to do a show next year at the festivals? Yeah, I guess so. She's back. Helen Badu is definitely coming back. So if you miss that spectacle, there's another chance. She's a right bitch, that Helen.

Yeah, she's awful. You should have her on this. I don't know that we'd be able to handle it. Yeah, I'd be a bit scared. You might not know this, but I got the offer of Helen Badu being on this. I didn't know that we'd be able to handle it. Yeah, I'd be a bit scared. You might not know this but I got the offer of Helen Badu being on this year's

drunk cast and I went, no, I don't know about that. I don't know what the fuck is going to happen if that happens. Yeah, I'd rather get Stacey back in.

Yeah, exactly. Stacey's great. Exactly. Yeah, follow these guys on Twitter. See all the updates about when they're doing shows and stuff.

Or Instagram. A lot of people are on that these days. The Instagram? They are. Guys, follow these guys on Twitter. See all the updates about when they're doing shows and stuff. Or Instagram. A lot of people are on that these days. The Insta? The Gram? They are. Guys, thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mates. Bye-bye.

And welcome once again to another installment of Talking Dumb Dumb with Tommy Dasolo and Carl Chandler. Thanks for having me. Any thoughts? On the episode? It was very good. It was worth the absolute pain in the arse effort of getting Anne Edmonds on the show again.

I don't want to get into that just yet. I'm just wondering when I said any thoughts, are there any four words that perhaps spring to mind? If you had to sum this episode up in four words, what would you say? It was really good. You were telling me when I got here that you've been up since 4 a.m. And you're really showing that at the moment. I'm getting a bit delirious at the moment.

I want to sleep now. Die. No, they've done it again. Oh, okay, good. They've done it again. Yep. If you're not prepared to make that call, then I'm just going to go over your head

and I'm going to throw it out there. They've done it again. No problem. I'll reaffirm that. God, get it together. Yeah, I'm fucked. I'm fucked. I'm sorry.

Drink a coffee for the first time in your life this is why people have it i just i was just telling tommy so i don't feel like saying the whole thing again but oh my cat is fucking keeping me away my cat just wakes up at woke up at 3 30 this morning and it goes crazy and then i just gave up at four o'clock i went all right i'm up now and i just stayed up the rest of the day so now it's now it's 4 o'clock and went, all right, I'm up now. And I just stayed up the rest of the day. So now it's 1 o'clock, 1 p.m. and I'm pretty fucked. So, yeah, I mean, you could level the blame at this on the people at Applause because if they hadn't disqualified your cat from being on the, you know, the cat would probably be busy with photo shoots.

It'd be an international celebrity. It'd be heading over to like the Cannes Film Festival, doing all that kind of shit. Media inquiries. Yeah, it'd be up and out of the house at 4am to be appearing on, you know, breakfast television. At the very least, it'd be tuckered out from all the publicity work. Yeah, all the autographs. And so it would sleep well during the night.

Exactly. So, you know, you should, I mean, you've got real cause here to, you know, launch some kind of legal action against the applause company for your lack of sleep. Just finally a reason to hate that company. Yeah. Fucking cunts. But anyway, great ep. This

I don't think either of us imagined this ep panning out as it did. No, that's right. Getting in deep. Some great stuff in there. Love getting it on love getting it on just about

just about the hardest person to get to do anything I reckon yeah I reckon there'd be a list there'd be five

there'd be five on the list let's do five sorry there's yeah there's a there's a bunch of them that are fucking hard to get to do anything

it really feels like you're so delirious that it's not acting when you you genuinely don't know what I'm saying. The Little Dum Dum Club. What's that? Yeah. That's a silly name. Where are our guests this week?

Isn't there usually more of us here? Talking Dum Dum as opposed to what? Oh, anyway. But yes, let me just say very briefly i hope everyone enjoyed the uh all the mental health chat in this episode and uh yes a lot of um because we did touch on it a couple weeks ago uh in regards to myself and i got a lot of nice messages on facebook from people uh which which was nice to read and um yeah you you know, it's nice to see, it's nice to talk about this stuff kind of openly on the show

because I know from talking to listeners and stuff after shows and stuff that a lot of people who listen to this kind of have their own stuff going on. And so, yeah, I've been going to someone recently and it's been very good. So if you're someone who's been putting that off and thinking that it might be beneficial, then go do it because it's good. Do you want to recommend the person you're seeing just because they're the person to the stars, to the comics, so maybe they can come in and try and fish for what the fuck's wrong with you all? No.

No? Because he's already pretty busy and it's pretty hard to get appointments with him. Right. So I don't want to make it any harder by getting him more business. Okay. Do you got any – what happens when you go in? Do you prefer a time? Is there a time of the day that's better?

Or how do you feel when you come out of there? I go in. He takes me into the room. Then he leaves and I take off all my clothes. And I lie down down face down on the board put my head through that little hole yep yes then um what what time of day do i prefer yeah um i prefer kind of it generally just ends up being middle of the day but i pretty much take what i can get and he's pretty it's pretty limited it's just like if you want to go next week it's

got it's got to be Wednesday at 2. So I just go, okay. Do you walk out feeling immediately a bit better or what's your general feeling when you walk out the door? Yeah, mostly better because it's either like something's come up that I'm like, oh, that's pretty interesting. That's an interesting thing to reflect on. Or I feel good that I've gotten something off my chest. But yeah, generally I'm like, oh, yeah, I feel really good. It's an interesting thing to reflect on. Or it's, I feel good that I've gotten something off my chest.

But yeah, generally I'm like, oh yeah, I feel really good. It's positive. Have you ever lied to him? No, he did get me to do a thing a couple of weeks ago where. Oh, is this like improv? Huh? You're doing space jumps in there and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Great. Yeah. So he's like, you're on the beach and go. With your dad. He got me to do a thing where each day write down, at the end of the day, write down two things that I did in each category that were meaningful, satisfying and enjoyable.

And so it's kind of an exercise in being at the end of the day and just kind of stacking up like, at the end of the day and just kind of stacking up like well you know did i really enjoy myself today how many satisfying things did i do but then it was over the weekend where we did the live podcast at the comics lounge and so i was writing it down and i was like man i really hope he doesn't ask to actually read back on this because there's a two-day stretch where it was when we did the episode with Comptown. So there's like a 24-hour period where my like,

satisfying, did an episode of the podcast with Comptown. Enjoyable. Met the boys from Comptown. Went and watched the Comptown live show. I was like, man, if he reads this i might be in trouble and then if he looked like a fucking maniac and then if he listens to them it's even worse yeah yeah just like okay so my first piece of advice is stop listening to the podcast where they constantly talk about gay austin powers and whatever else they fucking do on there um But yeah, look, definitely go out and do all that stuff.

If that helps people out there, then great. Great. Yeah, no, we do get a lot of feedback off that. So it's good that people are not scared to talk about it and relate to it. Speaking of my therapy, Koh Samui. It makes everything better. Your big couch that you go and lie down on and talk about your dad.

My Southeast Asian couch. Fuck, it's so true. It actually is so true. It actually is so true. It's costly. You go about as often as I go to therapy. Yeah, I come back feeling better. Wow. Oh, fuck.

We're planning a big group therapy next year. So, as we've been talking about, it's still recent news. That'd be great. You in the mornings over there, you do running club it's still recent news. That'd be great. You in the mornings over there, you do running club and I do therapy club. Oh, that'd be good.

But you know, that's the thing, I mean, I mean, a lot of physical activity is actually good for mental health as well, isn't it?

Big time, yeah. Yeah, so, pretty much all of it. Yeah, I mean, I,

even I feel that, like I, you know, you go out and go for a run and come back and just go, fucking hell, that feels a lot better than whatever the fuck I was doing before that. Yeah. I mean, even I feel that. Like, you know, you go out and go for a run and come back and just go, fucking hell, that feels a lot better than whatever the fuck I was doing before that. Yeah. Those endorphins, baby. Yeah.

So, it is recent news. The third and final Koh Samui International Podcast Festival will be held in Koh Samui this year. In 2019, that is. From June 11 to 16. Guys, we have a page on our website. It is littledumbdumbclub.com slash Koh Samui, K-O-H-S-A-M-U-I, though you can find a link on the main page anyway.

And we've basically updated all the information, all the links, because the official resort is Ozo Chueng, and the sister resort to that is the Amari on Chueng Beach as well. So you need to stay with those guys. The podcast will actually be at the Ozo Chueng. So if you want to be close to the action, do that. If you want to be away from the action a little bit and have your own time, go to the Amari. But, hey, if you go to the page, you'll find the password podcast19 to get a better deal

directly through those sites. You get all the cool stuff to do with it. You get, you know, it's great rooms. It's great. The best pools on the beach, honestly. You get their awesome breakfast buffets. You know, they're all good. It's a modern hotel.

It's really good. Yeah, they're great resorts. It really is. Like, I mean, I'm sure I've said this before, but, you know, I went on a scouting mission. Yeah. And this was the best place I could find in that price range. It's great.

It's a fucking awesome resort, so please get into that. The tickets to the festival aren't on sale yet. We're still working out guests and all that sort of stuff, so we'll do that. But in the meantime, you've got your dates. Work out your holidays. Work out your bookings for the resort. Also, if you're looking at flights, people are always asking about flights, travel insurance, of course.

Please get your travel insurance. We've got like an aware travel agent. Yes. So there's a link to him on that page as well. So what that does is he'll give you a better deal. He listens. So it's good to reward someone for being part of this. It feels like a good thing to do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep. It feels like the opposite should happen. Yeah. You shouldn't be rewarded for being into this. Yeah. You should be punished by society. I do like the idea of this guy getting a lot of sales and just people going, like his

boss going, oh, have you made any sales this week? Yeah, look, one to Paris, one to Rome and 307 to Costa Mui. This sort of thing is one step closer to this podcast becoming a fully-fledged cult. That's my dream that we eventually have listeners. We've sussed out listeners in kind of every industry imaginable yeah and we just have this entire network so we can eventually just set up our own commune and we've got everything we need i feel like we have missed a trick like we've talked about this before but we have missed a trick

by just not branding it the cunt tiki tour like actually doing it yeah yeah but when you and i are sussing around for like sponsorship yeah it's it's hard enough as it is going the little dum-dum club is taking a bunch of its ravenous listeners on a fucking sex tourist holiday yeah having the c-bomb in the title is i mean but you know maybe maybe you just make it easy maybe for certain industries like we could just get like ralph magazine to sponsor it or whatever if it was that fucked we could get just like a really deplorable sponsor. If we could go back to 1998, sure. But yeah, look, that would mean that we were taking care of travel as well, which we are not doing and we don't want to do.

Yes. We tried. We tried for the first one. Yeah. Did we ever talk about this, that we went to a travel expo? Not sure. To try and suss out like some kind of like sponsorship deal or whatever for the first one. Yeah. Did we ever talk about this, that we went to a travel expo? Not sure. To try and sluss out some kind of sponsorship deal or whatever for the actual flights.

We thought we could maybe try and make that part of the deal. And there was a point where it was going to be us buying an entire flight. Yeah, that was the only option. And then on selling the tickets to listeners. Oh, no. What a fucking debacle that would have been. But also um the best deal they could do is like they were like um so you know if you buy in bulk you can get them

for this yeah this price each it's like cool and if you just go onto the website right now and buy them individually you can get them for half that price cool what a great deal yeah it's the only thing i've seen if you buy it in bulk you actually pay more yeah fucking hell so it would have been pretty fun you and i just renting a plane to get like you and i going halves in the cost of an entire plane yeah like like like iron maiden have their own like private plane we can be like them and then imagine i could be like bruce dickinson and pilot the plane yeah and then imagine if it hadn't have sold as well as we were expecting. Yeah. Just like so out of pocket.

It's just this plane full of empty seats. But of course it would be like that because not everyone's coming from one location. Yeah, yeah. So we're flying from Melbourne. Not that many people. Like not all of them come from Melbourne. We would have had a fucking half empty plane. And wasn't it like we'll go to the travel expo and we'll go around to some companies and just try and sort of hit them up

and we had this like typed up kind of brief of what the plan was for the festival. But then I think you'd come straight from the gym or something, so you were in your gym clothes. It's like I don't think we're really putting on a good unified front here. One of us drenched in sweat. It's legitimate. Trust me. Yeah, One of us drenched in sweat. Yeah. It's legitimate.

Trust me. Yeah. Yeah. So that didn't – anyway, it was never going to work because it's not – there's just not enough – as our official flight monger will be able to tell us, there's just not enough money in flights to be able to do great deals. Yeah. Like they're already pretty close to the bone.

So they don't – yeah, they're just not going to do great deals. Yeah. Like, they're already pretty close to the bone, so they don't, yeah, they're just not going to do great deals. Yeah. Whereas with hotels, you've got a bit more... A bit more leeway. Yes. Yeah. Which is how we've managed to get a good deal.

Yep. The beautiful people at the Ozo Chuang Samui and the Amari. Yep. And they are very much looking forward to us coming back because they are the ones that were chasing us going, are you going to come back next year? Yeah, yeah, yeah. crunchy get out of the bag she's no she's she's a bit she's in a bad book ptsd i saw you she walked into the room and you you looked at her and you

started you started twitching yeah she's she's not in the good books today she's uh she loves this fucking podcast bag yeah we keep our gear in even my wife is like yeah we i'm not even sure whether she was joking i've got to find out but she goes yeah can we can we give her away now that's that's a good that's a good thread for the pod auctioning your cat off to a listener yeah because i'm not even sure whether she's joking or not because she's never had a pet and I think she thinks you can just do things like that. Well, you can.

Well, give it away. Of course you can. Yeah, but that's not right to do. You don't want to, but you can. Yeah, but I would never do that. That's not cool. She's licking her butt now. Cool.

Well, she'll lick your bag in a minute, so that'll be good. Yeah. So that's Coastal Million Roundup for this week. We're trying not to go too crazy about it but just so you know at this point it's all still fresh news and people are still looking into whether

they can get time off and making that call and all that sort of stuff so worth bringing up but like I said new page on the website go and have a look

and send us an email about any questions people are sort of asking about Copenhagen as well if you've got any questions about that let us know.

We will be doing a show on June the 16th there. So a lot of the questions basically border on this, which is can we get a ferry back that night and stay in Samui? No, you'll need to stay. If you're going to come to the show in Copenhagen on the road show, you'll need to stay somewhere on June 16th on the night. You could swim back. You couldn't. on the night. You could swim back. You couldn't.

You could try. You could kill yourself. It's like giving away a cat. You can do it. Yeah, right. You can attempt it. Right. It's not necessarily going to go well.

No. It's not a good thing that you should do. It's not officially recommended. But the laws of physics allow it to happen. Yes. I'll allow that. Yep. All right.'ll allow that. Yep. All right.

That's that. Patreon. Patreon.com slash LittleDumbDumbClub is the easiest way to give us your love in a monetary form. For years and years, people, before we got this, people would say, fuck, we love the show, but we don't know how to give back. We can't get to a live show. We think your T-shirt sucks. I don't want to wear that people would send us photos of them just holding 20 and going what

do i do with this come and get it yeah uh but now we have we have the the perfect middleman in patreon.com slash little dum-dum club if you want to get onto that and chuck some shekels our way in uh just in a pure unselfish way and say, I just love this, or you can do it in the way of you would never give us a donation, but you just want that sweet extra content, whether it's a bonus episode, whether it's an official magazine, or whether it's just this, the chance of being immortalized forever in the comedy hall of fame that is this podcast by having a little name read out yeah that's that's a little legacy to leave behind yeah

that's a service we provide um and so we're about to do that right now uh and what i do to make it fair of course is i have a bit of software called the Unplanned Title Alternator. All the names get chucked into this machine, and then they get spat at randomly every week on this show. You never know what's coming. Yep. Completely random. The only way it could be fair. So what I will do now is hit the big red button and start spitting some of these names out.

Let's go, Tommy. Are you ready? I'm ready to go. Yeah. Okay. I'm feeling good about this out. Let's go, Tommy. Are you ready? I'm ready to go. Yeah. Okay. I'm feeling good about this one. Oh, really? Yeah.

Well, let's see if your feeling is correct. Jesus Christ. Yeah, I'm not feeling good. This is going to be a tough one. Yeah. I'm going to have to work extra hard on this. I need to go to bed. Thank you to Patreon subscriber number one for this week, Morgan Roberts.

Morgan Roberts. Yeah. I know Morgan. Do you? I do. Yeah, I've met Morgan a couple of times. Really? He was at our Brisbane show.

He was at our Sydney show. Oh. Yeah. Real ramblin' man. A real jet setter. Right. One of these deadheads. Oh, right.

We've still got to work out a name for them. Yeah. We never worked out an official name. Morgan. Because when we're recording this, we're about to go and do Perth, our Perth show. And there's a bunch of people coming from interstate for that. Yes. They're getting in the big old dum-dum wagon.

Yeah. And, yeah, heading cross-country to see us. Weirdly, I think Deadheads would still be quite an accurate title. Yeah, yeah. So he's one of them. I've just looked him up on Facebook. He's a Brisbane boy. Yeah, he's Brisbane, is he?

Yeah, he came to the Sydney one. He's a wedding photographer. Right. Well, I feel like maybe I should have employed his services now you should have i our wedding photos yeah so it's been more than a year now yeah don't have them yet uh is that on you are you meant to have done something it's on me but it's also sort of on them in okay well let me explain uh we got them back and went, okay, cool. So these are like the test ones.

And she's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You decide which ones go in the big book that we provide. Right, that's right. You did tell me this, but yeah. And I was like, cool. So when do you touch them up? And she's like, what do you mean touch up? I'm like, you know, like make them better, you know,

fix them up in Photoshop and stuff. And she's like, oh, I can't just like add people at your wedding or something. And I'm like, I did not mean that at all. Oh, that's great. I'm not like feeling guilty and going, can you put Nazeem Hussain at my wedding? Yeah, yeah. I look like a fucking loser in these.

Can you put some more friends in? I'm like, no, that's not what I mean. I mean, actually, you know, you've just taken photos on an overcast day. these yeah can you put some more friends yeah i'm like no that's not what i mean i mean actually you know you've just taken a taken photos on an overcast day she thinks you're selling them to us weekly and you want your fucking you want your gut sucked in and stuff like that i don't even think that so much just just just she was like the example was like adding people in yeah yeah no just make it look nicer you know how you're a photographer just put some filters and shit on yeah yeah yeah yeah like i thought that would be the that's what photographers have got to do these days like because they're being printed out so it's just like this overcast

bunch of photos yeah so then i'm like well i gotta do them because i know how to do that yeah so now i gotta do them all right cool and then i don't do it right so it's the old uh yeah it's a great trick of going okay well we can't get them done because i need to fix them up and i just haven't fixed them up right i put them at the bottom of my to-do list every single day yeah and i never get to it because i have things like a fucking new half hour of a podcast that i have to record that yes we've already recorded an hour for it now we're suddenly recording another half hour for yeah it's one of those tasks that's like sits there for ages because it's like everything else is going to take precedence.

And you, I mean, yeah, you do design. So it's like I can't wait to see these wedding photos when you get them done up and there's the address of the European Beer Cafe down the bottom, a big circle with $13 over your wife's face. My Twitter handle there. Should be good. Oh, do that please do a joke one where you where you mock it up like like the yeah to look like one of your gig posters right i will wedding comedy oh great stuff anyway yeah you wouldn't be having to do any of this if you'd got

morgan roberts because he because he knows how to touch up. Yeah. Big shout out to the wedding photographer, whoever the fuck it was. We've got to get it. I think you missed what I said. What? I said, big shout out to Morgan Roberts. He knows how to touch up.

And then I paused and I said, children. Oh, no. That's good stuff. That's bad because i think the i think the ban has been lifted by now hasn't it no let's put it back on we're under strict instructions from the listeners not to make jokes like that for a while and we've been good don't you agree it's been it's been like what three months or something yeah yeah we shouldn't even have to be proud of that. We should just never do it.

I think we should set a date where we get to go back in. No, I don't think. Maybe we just have like one day, one ep a year where we just go hell for leather with it. We get it out of our system. We publicize what date. We publicize what week it's going to be. So if you don't like that sort of stuff, cool. You just skip that week.

You know not to tune in. How about you just do it as your comedy festival show next year? I just do it in the mirror every morning. All right. Thanks, Morgan. Woo! Got your money worth there. It's the old, what is that game?

I guess it's not really a game, but it's like, how do you get from this to this in five minutes? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. How do you get from Morgan Roberts to touching up kids in five minutes? Six degrees of pedophilia. Oh, God. All right, let's get out of there. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Paul Myers.

Paul Myers? Yeah. Interesting. What do you think about that? M-E-Y-E-R-S. Oh, okay. I was going to say just hearing it, it reminds me of it's a very

old school like parents thing to talk about the store Meyer, but call it Myers. Yes, I do that. You do? Yes. I call it Myers. Myers. Yeah. Well, now that I'm thinking yeah, I probably do that. You do? Yes. I call it Myers. Myers. Yeah. Well, now that I'm thinking, yeah, I probably do it. The big department store in what, Melbourne, Adelaide, is it in Sydney? Yeah.

I think there'd be one in every city. It's big enough that everyone in Australia would know it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Myers, I do that. I call it David Jones's. Yeah. People get infuriated. People say that I go Myers and they're like, oh, Safeways.

Coles's. Like, yeah, Safeway. Some people do call it Safeways. Safeways. Yeah. People get infuriated. People say that I go Myers and they're like, oh, Safeways. Coleses. Like, yeah. Safeway. Some people do call it Safeways. Safeways. Yeah. It's funny. It's funny to deliberately get things wrong.

Yeah. That's comedy. Yeah. Paul, so it's really, so because I'm reading this out, maybe his name is just Paul Meyer. Right. Right. Maybe the S is silent. Yeah.

Maybe I'm just doing that thing. Thanks. I'm glad doing that thing. Thanks. I'm glad he's not too Paul, that he doesn't have any money. Okay. I admires his devotion to this podcast. If I wasn't so tired, I don't think I would have laughed at that. As if that's not better than he's not Paul. Oh, yeah.

That was appalling. There we go. There we go. There we go. I'm off-branding on half the cylinders. If I was a plane, there'd be people screaming. You'd have crashed into the side of a mountain. We'd be still going, but there'd be people screaming. Everyone's got an oxygen mask on at this point.

They've dropped down. I wish I had one on. That'd be fucking great. I thought I told you about the i'd love to try one of them the flight that i got where we landed and it was such a bumpy landing that as we touched down all the oxygen masks came down oh wow it was pretty sick yeah i'd love that i would just want to have a sniff of it yeah what this pure oxygen stuff i want to have a go yeah yeah it should just be an option if you if especially on a long haul flight where you start

to go like if you think about ithaul flight where you start to go – like if you think about it too much where you go, I've been on this thing for six hours now. It's rank in here. People have farted. It's all just this air going around and around. Just fucking give me a pump. Just hook me into some pure shit so I don't have to think about it anymore. Yeah.

You've done business class, haven't you? Yes. I flew to and from London on it. Paid for by someone else, I should say. I don't want to get too Nick Cody about things, but I just have never done it. And I'm just, I want to do it now, but I'm scared that I can't go back once I do it.

It is like that. So, yeah, when I did the ad in London for the Commonwealth Bank, they flew us there and back business class. And I did feel like, and that's the bit... Did you have to wear the outfit the whole time in business class? Yeah, the big foam letter that I was dressed as. That's why they put you away from everyone. We did have to take it to the airport with us

and check it in, which was a fucking pain in the ass because they're like, what's this? Well, it's a big foam letter. Why? I'm going to wear it when I get to London. How do they trust you with that?

Surely that's, you know, you could fuck up. It wasn't the trust thing for me. It was more like, shouldn't this be someone else's? You know, why am I having to fucking deal with this? Yes, totally. But yeah, it was, and that's the best flight to have business for as well, to the UK, because it's such a long trip. So it made it good.

But also I was like, this has fucking ruined me. Like any kind of long haul thing now. I've gotten better with that stuff though. Like I've gotten a good lucky stretch of having seats next to me empty and shit like that. Which I think that's all you need. I don't need all the extra leg room and stuff. As long as I've got no one sitting next to me empty and shit like that. Right. Which I think that's all you need. Yeah. I don't need all the extra leg room and stuff. As long as I've got no one sitting next to me, that makes it bearable.

Yeah, yeah, that's great. Because I've never flown it, I went to Italy, your hometown, last year with my wife. And the original plan was we were going to fly business because she had a little thing going on, a little operation. Yep. Not literal operation, I should say, just a little scam thing. Yep.

Anyway. She was having sex with a pilot on the side. She's polyamorous. No. So, that's – I don't want to have to retouch those photos. Too tired. Too tired to deal with this improv scenario. This rot.

And especially because I've recently found out that some of my wife's friends listen to this. Oh, really? So, it's a new interesting little spanner to put into the works. Did you find that out? What did you get in trouble for, I should ask? Just general information going, oh, this is interesting. Just her finding out about things that I'd said. I went through a real hot streak.

This is a while ago now. This is a couple of years ago where I just, any time I talked about someone on this podcast, I just kept getting in trouble for it. Like the person would hear or be angry or whatever. But then now it's the opposite where I've said a few things lately where I'm like,

oh, that person listens. I might get in trouble. And either I'm not hearing about it or they're fine with it. Where I think now I'm getting too cocky and I'm like, yeah, I can say what I want on this thing. Yeah, do it.

I'm completely safe. Completely do that. Yeah. We were going to Italy. We were going to go business. Something happened in the end. I think the plane was full i think we were on standby so we couldn't get that at all and i was like oh who cares she was devastated because she's flown it before i'm like who cares i get on the plane you look left and i go oh Yeah. It's like a brand new plane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With an insane world-class, business-class section.

And I'm like, I didn't know it was like that. Now I'm fucking genuinely gutted. Yeah. Like, we were on this plane that had its own bar that you could hang out at, just sit on a stool at the bar for half the flight or whatever. That is genuine cruelty that they make you see. They make sure that you can see the bit of the plane that you're not in. That fucking sucks.

It looked like a fucking spaceship. I was like, oh, no. Yeah. Anyway, I want to go on that thing. I want to go back on that fucking plane. Yeah. I probably, I mean, yeah, I really, I peaked when I did that ad. Yeah. Like, I don't think I, I probably will never fly business again. Yeah. I probably, I mean, yeah, I really, I peaked when I did that ad. Yeah.

Like, I don't think, I probably will never fly business again. Yeah. I don't think. Unless I just, unless I rack up a fucking ton of points and I can do it on that. Yeah. I don't think that's likely. I think I'm, let's make New Year's resolutions coming up. Okay.

So, we're only like a month away. Yep. Let's make New Year's resolutions for 2019. Okay. Yeah. For just ourselves or the pod? Well, both. Both.

Okay. Because we're part of the pod in a way. No, but yeah. So, personal ones just for ourselves and then resolutions for the pod as a whole. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

That's one of mine. I'm going to fly business class at some stage next year. In 2019. Yeah. Interesting. Maybe we should make the resolution together and fly business class to a show. That's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, I'm down for that. All right. And then the whole show is just us talking about our good business class. That's actually great. And booking Cody on it going, we get it, mate. We actually get it now.

We book Cody to be on the pod with us and fly with us. Yeah. We pay him heaps to do the pod, but he has to fly in economy right so we're in business he's in economy we pay for his economy flight we pay him heaps for the show but he is not allowed to spend that money he won't do it on an upgrade he won't do it fuck yeah fuck you cody yeah exactly that's my point was it i feel like feel like every week we're squeezing in a diss on Cody. So that's our one this week.

He's been getting, you know, I think it's just there's not as much stuff to say about Dill anymore. Yeah. You know, now it's all Cody. Yeah. But it's good because we, you know, we do this, we go fishing and because he listens every week. Because they both listen.

Yeah. Then we hear back. And Cody's very active in our People Aware of the Dum Dum Club Facebook club facebook group so within a few hours of it going up we hear immediately yep uh thanks paul thanks paul that's who we're up to wasn't it uh thank you to patreon subscriber josh sherwell sherwell yep s-h-e-r-w-e-L-L. Sure well, well, well. Look who's come crawling back, giving us a bit of cash. He's not just joshing with us. When he says he's giving us money, he's doing it.

Very good. Nice. When I wrote this down, I mean, sorry. When the unplanned title alternator spat it out at you. Exactly what you said. You're delirious from lack of sleep. You don't know what you're saying. Yeah. Where am I? Where are the guests? So, you may

not know this, but the untitled Okay, let's speed through these last couple. The unplanned title alternator has a spell check on it. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Okay.

And it immediately changed. Squiggly red line came up. Yeah. Yeah, but it changed it. Oh, okay. To. Yep. From Sherwell to Cherwell.

Right. You know, that common other word. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Instead of the S, it's got a C. Cherwell. How's that any more fucking common than Cherwell? Well, you know, the unplanned title alternator, it knows what it's doing. So I'm sorry, Josh.

Yeah. That's your name from now on. Jersey. Church. Jersey Shore. JC himself. Jersey boys. Yeah.

JC. Well, yeah. You should go back to school and get called out by surname alphabetically a lot earlier than what you did. Exactly. You'd be loving that. Yeah. I mean, that was always me. I was basically always big old number one.

Number one on the roll. Oh, no one in your class had surnames starting with A, B or C? Because your last name's Dassolo. No. No, Carl. What? Because your last name's Dassolo. No. No, Carl. What? As you're well aware. Yes, what?

My first name, my last name is Alsop. Okay. So that's good because you're the first one called out and then you just, that's just free time. The rest of the role,

you're not having to listen out for your name. You can just, you're off the clock. Can we make it – you've said that we've got a group called People Aware of Little Dumb Dumb Club on Facebook. Can we make a new group that's People Well Aware of the Little Dumb Dumb Club? That's the next tier up. Well, if we made a group for just Patreon subscribers,

that's what that one would be, People well aware of the little Dundum Club. Should we do that now? People have been suggesting that. I don't really see the point if we've already got another group. But now that we've got a title that's funnier, maybe we do do it now. I think so. I mean, it is a lot. For my other pod, we have a group that's just for Patreon subscribers.

It's a really good way of just separating the wheat from the chaff, so to speak. All right. Well, maybe we'll look into that then. If you're on Patreon, you'll get your invite soon. Yep. Yep. Great. Another thing to do.

Another fucking online space to have to be active in. Yeah. Great. Awesome. I've got enough actual work to do without fucking adding pretend work. Okay, let's not do it. There we go. Let's not do it.

Let's walk back from this one. All right. Maybe we do it and we don't go in it ourselves. Yeah, that's the dream. We trust them. To be completely honest, that's the dream.

Yeah. All right. Thanks, Josh. Thanks, Josh. Thanks, JC. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Neville Hughes. Do you know this guy? Because you knew Morgan Roberts.

Do you know Hughes? Read the name again. Morgan. No, fuck. Have I been on a plane? Am I jet lagged? Rick. Neville Hughes.

Spell the last name for me. H-U-G-H-E-S. Right. Hughes. Any more brain busters? I'm not ringing any bells. No? No.

You don't know. I don't know Neville. You don't know Neville. You don't know Neville. Everything is not Neville. It's finally happened. Finally. Finally. The unblanked title alternator has randomly spat out someone with the last name Hughes.

Great. I've waited so long for this moment. Oh, God. That's so good. Great. Oh, wow. All right. I guess we've got everything we can off that bone.

That'll do. That'll do. Thanks, Neville. Thanks, Neville. Anyway, we'll do one more this week. Okay. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Hughes Comedy. Oh, they're back again.

What? Hughes Comedy. Are they they're back again. What? Hughes Comedy. Are they back again? They've subscribed before. No, they haven't, have they? They have. Fuck. I believe by weird coincidence,

they also subscribed to the Unplanned Title Alternative to spat this name out when we did the episode with Dave Hughes and Dave O'Neill. Oh, right. Okay. All right. Sorry, that's a mistake then. No, but the Unplanned Title Alternative. Okay, wow. Okay. Sorry, that's a mistake then. No, but the unplanned title...

Okay, wow. We're going to do six this week. Well, we usually do six, don't we? Thank you to Patreon subscriber Rick Comedy. Yep. It's come to this. Fuck, I thought I knew What I was going to talk about In my therapy session This afternoon I reckon that might have

I reckon this record There's a lot to talk about I'm going to I'm going to have my own therapy session It's called fucking bedtime It's going to be great It's going to fix everything Are you seriously going to go to bed

After I leave Yes Two in the afternoon One thirty in the afternoon Yes That's fucking awesome Yes I'm definitely going to go to bed after I leave? Two in the afternoon. One-thirty in the afternoon, yes. That's fucking awesome. Yes, I'm definitely going to have a nap. I'm not going to stay up for the next eight hours like this. I'm supposed to be going to the movies tonight.

It's date night. I can't go to sleep. Oh, yes. Can't go to sleep at the Rivoli. Fuck yes. What are you going to go and see? The Queen movie Oh Bohemian Rhapsody

They should have just called it You know when they do those things It's like a biopic or whatever It's like why fuck around having it Just literally just call it the Queen movie It is weird I did think it was slightly weird to call it that Bohemian Rhapsody

Yeah Just because it's the most well-known song. It's not emblemic of their career. Yes. It's literally like really you couldn't have spent three more seconds thinking of the name. Yeah. Like it literally is – well, the Queen movie is too on the nose.

Right. We'll just name it after that big song of theirs. Yeah. I've heard it's okay. Yeah. I'm not going in with huge expectations, but I loved Queen growing up. So I'll enjoy that bit.

I like the songs I know, but I haven't heard enough good things about it and I'm not a big enough of a fan of Queen to be like busting to see it. But I don't know. Maybe I'll watch it on a plane someday or something. I was a little bit, I would have been more interested if it had come out the way that people were talking about when they said that the original plan was Freddie dies halfway

through it and the second half of the movie is just about the members of Queen after Freddie died. Right. And that was obviously the plan was created by the surviving members of Queen. Right. Yeah, cool. No one wants to fucking know what happened to you guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's not interesting. No one cares. Yep. But you were a big Queen head, so you had all the albums and stuff. Yes. Could you put together for me your top ten queen songs that aren't the hits yeah the the the the chando spotify yeah best of can you do that for me yeah all right i will do that that's homework all right i'll do that i'll find i'll uh i told you the other day i just i've only just

got onto apple music so i've actually been going back and looking at you know heaps of stuff i used to like that i don't have anymore so yeah and it's easy to make playlists on that too oh and it's easy to make a playlist and then you can just send me the link oh great okay well i'll do that we should do we which people always enjoy when we do music stuff on this show right that's another thing i get a lot of messages about when i when i mention bands and stuff okay people always like you got good taste which is a great compliment right um maybe we can share that in our new people well aware of the little Dum Dum Club group. Oh, like weekly mixes and stuff. That would be cool.

Yeah. Yeah. Again, more work to do. Yeah. For no reward whatsoever. Great. Love it. Gives the shareholders happy and that's what matters.

Yeah. We just want to enrich people's lives. Yep. All right, guys. That'll do it. That'll do it. That'll do it for this week. Always a sign of something good. That'll do.

Yeah, nothing to say. Yeah, keep an eye out. Keep an eye on the socials where we've got some stuff coming up pretty soon that we'll be announcing for next year, some more live dates and stuff like that. Yep. Looking forward to doing all of our, yeah, all the regular bullshit that we do during the next year is coming up again. Yeah.

Hopefully going back to places that love us, that always buy heaps of tickets and finding some other places as well. Next week's episode, we recorded it last night. Oh boy, what a great one. Yeah. We are on a real tear Oh, boy, what a great one. Yeah. We are on a real tear at the moment, I have to say. Yeah. It's almost like we came out of the Pablo Francisco one and went, fuck, let's make up for that.

Yeah. No, we were on a good run before that. We've always been on a good run, but I think these last few weeks in particular, a lot of different stuff as well that's been very good. Yeah. Yep. All right. Well, look forward to that yeah uh thanks everyone for listening uh thank you and again patreon.com slash little domino club for you for the chance to to be part of what just happened just yeah i mean what a fucking treat that must have been i really i had a feeling that i don't know i felt

like the um unplanned title alternator was going to spit out Sandman comedy, you know, or Captain Snooze comedy. Those are the ones that I personally thought was coming. Not ones from six months ago. That's a brain operating at full optimal level, isn't it? I see you're saying the Unplanned Title Alternator is a bit sleepy. That's what I'm, it just went to sleep. Your cat was clawing the side of it all night. No, when you don't touch it for a while, it's what I'm... It just went to sleep. Your cat was clawing the side of it all night. No, it...

When you don't touch it for a while, it's like the laptop, it just goes to sleep. And so that's when it spat out those things when it was asleep. Right, right, right. Yeah, that's what I meant by that. Well, good night, Carl, and good night, Australia. See you, mate.

See you, mate.