The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 425 - Tony Martin & Judith Lucy

Episode Date: November 27, 2018

Hide the DVD's, TONY MARTIN's back on the show and he's brought JUDITH LUCY with him! We recap the Entourage movie, go down a bizarre and intriguing e-mail hole, thank Tony for his work at the Logies, and settle a long-standing issue with Judith. It's a busy week! Don't forget, we have a heap of live shows coming up: MELBOURNE! We're doing another month of huge shows at the Comedy Festival. Saturday March 30, April 6, April 13 & April 20, 4:30pm. We're also doing an extra show: Late Night Dum Dum. Friday April 5, 11:55pm. For tickets, merchandise, links to our Patreon and heaps of other stuff, head to our website: littledumdumclub.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Today on The Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with great guests Tony Martin and Judith Lucy. It's a ripper episode. Heaps of twists and turns in this one. Yeah. This is really good. Heaps going on. We've been waiting for this for quite a while and it absolutely lived up to expectations. So if you're excited, one of these people is excited

when you see the names come up of who the guests are, and you think you're just going to be entertained by the fact that we've got these two great guests just in name alone. Man, fucking this episode backs it up as well. Yeah, yeah. Heaps of great content. I've never met them, but let me say this. The Talking Dumb Dumb boys have their work cut out for them this week.

Can't wait to see what they make of this one, whoever they are. And we've got some big news at the back within Talking Dumb Dumb boys have their work cut out for them this week. Can't wait to see what they make of this one, whoever they are. And we've got some big news at the back within Talking Dumb Dumb about some live show news. And so, yes, enjoy this episode with Tony Martin and Judith Lucey. Hey, mates, welcome once again into the Little Dum Dum Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Daslow and with me as always the other half of the show, Carl Chandler. G'day Dickhead. I busted you having a bit of a clean up on the way here.

Well, with these guests that we've got in here, I made the mistake of telling my wife who was coming here and she had a mini stroke about an hour ago and made me get the vacuum cleaner out and do the once over. And I've just realized that the vacuum cleaner is broken. So that was my, I was using a broken vacuum cleaner as you were watching me. So I think it picked up something. But yeah, look, it was all in aid of my wife's family name not being completely embarrassed. Besmirched, yeah. In front of comedy celebrities.

Well, let's get the guests in and we can get the review of what this place looks like. Can't wait for this. Joining us on the show today, Tony Martin and Judith Lucey. Thank you. It's filthy. I'm very disappointed and I think we should just go, Tony. Well, Jude, whenever I come here to do the show,

it's a tradition to check out the DVDs because I think they're mostly selected by Carl's now wife. Yes, none of them are mine. I don't watch anything. So everything there is not mine. I'm intrigued by the Greedy Italians. Yeah, what is Greedy Italians? I'm sorry, it's two Greedy Italians.

Judith is looking at a DVD with that title by the way, that's not a new topic of conversation I mean, I was immediately drawn by Magic Mike XXL I'm a bit worried about why that's there actually It's actually hilarious There's actually a scene where they all take

Molly and it's just male strippers off their nut and it's really funny I don't know why she's got that. Why would she go and buy hamburger when she's got steak at home? I'm just going to get back to her two greedy Italians on that night. Because she does buy most of them at the supermarket. She does.

That would explain beaches and Marley and me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can see Runaway Bride. And is that Rocky Balboa? That doesn't sound like her. I don't know. Have we talked about this?

Surely I've brought this up. So all of her all of her favourite DVDs they're all predominantly white covers. She loves the romantic comedy. She loves the work of S. Jessica Parker

and so on. There's a lot of sex in the city there. Inexplicably out of that one of her favourite movies that she watches over and over is Rocky Balboa. Not Rocky the original, but the last Rocky movie. Sort of gritty, realistic Rocky.

Yeah, where he's all fucked up and then he has to take on a young guy and then the young guy's arm gets broken. It's sort of a very weird movie, but she really likes that. She'll watch that back to back with a bit of Sex and the City. You've got a complicated lady on your head. I don't know if complicated. I just think it's weird. Yeah, I don't know. I'd love it because you always throw her under the bus and go,

they're all my wife's DVDs. I'd love it if she does her own podcast with guests. I was like, that's Hubby's selection. I don't want any of these. Exactly. That Kardashians is all calm. Look, I have got into Sex and the City. I think over time I've watched every single episode. I think I have too.

It sort of wears you down. I actually went from hating it, and now I reckon I've seen every episode probably multiple times. Have you ever watched an episode, Tony Martin? I haven't, but we have an interesting situation at our house where the girlfriend is always saying, I will never watch Sex and the City, but she started watching shows that are about groups of four women. Like she's watching Girlfriend's Guide to Divorce.

Right. And then she's watching Playing for Keeps on Channel 10. I'm going, you're just circling Sex and the City. Eventually you will start at the beginning. Next you'll tell me she gave Cashmere Mafia a go. And Lipstick Jungle. There you go. She double teamed them.

She watched both of them, I think, in one week. So she only likes photocopies. She doesn't like the original. That's right. Because I like how pretty close to each other you've got Magic Mike XXL and then a couple under that, Rain Man, which is a hell of a double feature. Oh, my God. And then Entourage.

To be fair, that's mine. That's Ronnie Chang's Comedy Central special. Great, great. But whose is Entourage the movie? Because I think that would be in my top ten list of worst films of all time. Again, she owns that. That is extraordinary because I once went out with a man who was a big movie nerd, as you would know, T. Martin, and he got 15 minutes in,

and I reckon I lasted 25 and then just had to turn it off. I thought it was so appalling. It's really bad. Look, to be honest, when we first got together, we were watching the original series. When it first came out, it was something different. I think a lot of people liked it to start with. It started all right. It started great.

I loved it early on. I loved it, but Jeremy Pyven could have watched it just for him and couldn't. I'm glad. I'm glad. I felt like I was having to defend Entourage to three people for a minute. You know this. I went to the movie. I went to a 9 a.m. screening on the day it came out.

Are you out of your mind? As a joke. I'd rather see two greedy Italians. Yeah, he went dressed as Turtle. He didn't dress up. Yeah, we thought this would be funny. Let's just go to the earliest possible session of the Entourage movie. It was me and two friends and like one other guy in the cinema

and it was that, you know, let's do this as a joke and then within five minutes going, oh, we're trapped in a cinema and we pay $30 to be here. This is horrible. Well, yeah, look, so that's I think by then, you know, the last season of Entourage or the last two seasons maybe. Yeah, not so good. Went no good.

And I did, we did do that as a couple. We went to see the movie just to see it off. And you're still together. So that is a testament. We watched it. I was at their wedding and when they said, do you take this woman to be your wife? He said, oh, yeah.

So we watched it. We didn't like it. I was like, I wanted to walk out. I didn't walk out. It's a piece of shit. It's very bad. And we both agreed on that. Anyway, six months later, I walk home.

Oh, we've got it in the DVD collection now. I thought we were in agreement. This was a bad movie. But, you know, it was either that or a packet of Smarties at the Safeway. Yeah, right. Near the cash register. The guy you were seeing bailed out after 15 minutes. Yeah.

You stuck around for another 10. Yeah. What was it that finally got you over the line? Oh, Jesus. Did Gary Busey turn up with his enormous teeth? Yeah. I reckon I stayed for a bit of – in fact, Gary Busey might have been ultimately what pushed me over the edge, seeing how over the edge he was.

I think I just went, I can't see this actual person have a breakdown before my very eyes on film. I think what stuck with me about that movie, and I haven't watched it, I haven't re-watched it, even though I could do it at any point. Let's put it on now. That would be a great pod. What stuck with me was the character where, so that supermodel, Emily Ratajowski,

so she was in it and there was that subplot of the- There was a subplot? Sorry. There was a plot. No, I think it's only subplot. Yeah, right. There's no real, It's just all these Like side stories

Of like Yeah Turtle getting Into a car accident With Rhonda Rousey And then immediately Trying to sleep with her Off the back of that Yeah well

So the kid from the Sixth Sense Was all grown up Yeah that's right So he's in it And that was the A big part of it Was like him fighting with Fuck what's the main guy's name again

I can't remember anymore Oh Adrian Oh yes Vinny Chase Vinny Chase Right right right So he was having that fight With him fighting with, fuck, what's the main guy's name again? I can't remember anymore. Oh, Adrian, yes. Vinny Chase. Vinny Chase, right, right, right. So he was having that fight with him and it ended up being all about the girl, about Emily Radajowski.

Yeah. But the thing that was implied was like, oh, well, I want her. You know, if you give her to me, the deal would be all on. And then Vinny was like, just disappears. And then it's very implied that they just met each other and just immediately fucked. And so then the deal was all off.

Very strange that she was playing herself and then wanted to be portrayed as, oh, yeah, I'll just fuck Vinny Chase as soon as I meet him. See what you're missing. Yeah, I know. It's making me go, I need to give this another chance. This really sounds like my kind of movie. I just find it weird that you sign up for a role where you fuck a fictional character as yourself. That's all they did on that show, though. They had Meadow Soprano in there sleeping with Turtle for like a whole season.

Oh, right. Yes. But what was fascinating was that it started off commenting on that sort of behaviour and then it simply became that sort of behaviour. Just at some point they were just suddenly massive arseholes. Yeah. Those sort of likeable sort of scrappy types from out of town at the beginning. Yeah.

And then they were just horrible. I don't know. I'm going back in. I'm going to launch an entourage recap podcast. Well, speaking of Hollywood, I am. Wow. Yeah. Here we go. I'm thinking where is this going? Well, speaking of Hollywood, I am... Wow. Yeah. I'm thinking, where is this going?

Well, no. My career? I don't think so. Time for Carl's Gossip Corner. Yeah, yeah. This is John Michael Chandler. I got an email, which I thought might be up your alley, Tony. Yes.

I got an email from my account to my account a couple of weeks ago. Is it somebody wanting me to change their credits on the IMDB? Do you get that a lot? I do get that now. I get people I've never met before. Really? Just like quite well-known directors just calling me up going, I got your number from such and such and I did not work on Stingers.

Can you have that rumour? Do you ever do it? Yeah, occasionally. I've been known to do a bit of clean-up. I'm like Harvey Keitel in Pulp Fiction for people's IMDb pages. Genuinely, can you do mine? Because in the trivia it says that I'm a four-foot-tall woman. Someone put that on there.

And you want to lose that? Someone put that on there. It want to lose that? Someone put that on there Like it's honestly about six or seven years Someone who listens to this So in the bio section I think it's either in the bio or the trivia Yeah, there's fun factors in there, isn't there? There's always like fun factors

Like Mark Hamill was in Star Wars It's always great to see who's done their own biography on the IMDb You can tell One of my favourites is a guy called Rick Kalowski, who's the head of comedy at the ABC. And if you go to his biography, it's been written in about 2009, and it says, Rick Kalowski is currently known as the hot property

of Australian sketch comedy. And you go, who would have written that? Surely only he himself would have written that. New request, keep the four foot tall woman thing But four foot tall hot property woman Yeah, there's not enough of that The hottest property Hot property phrase, we need to use it more

The hottest property in people under five foot tall In entertainment Yeah, yeah, yeah Like the 30 under 30 list The four under four The four people under four foot Well, we might get back to that, but we'll go back to the original ground that I was about to sow,

which was – so I get an email out of the blue. Now, very strange because I don't get a lot of emails to my official email address, which is like if you go to carlchandler.com.au. G'day at carlchandler.com.au. G'day at carlchandler.com.au. So I get this one titled Podcast RE Interview Request. Hello, mate. It comes from a name I've never heard of.

Hello, mate. Carl, I think you're hilarious. Spell Carl wrong, which I reckon is actually reasonably difficult where you've actually typed in Carl at Carl Chandler. You've spelt it twice already correctly to get it to me and then immediately dropped off. This guy sounds like a real entourage fan, if you know what I'm saying.

So, Carl, thank you, hilarious. I haven't looked that much into your details. Anyway, I'm very interested on being on your podcast. Capital P for podcast. Thank you for the respect. I'm in Sydney for a bit, currently reaching out to a few. I don't know, to a few what?

To a few podcast? I don't think it's to a few podcasts. Anyway, for the last several years, I took time off from acting on TV slash film to work on a brand I started. Last week received the patent for my product and I'm ready to get out there and update my fans. I am thinking your podcast either way will be updating everyone.

And do you want to get any guesses so far? No, nothing. You know, like who am I in Salisbury? Yeah, yeah. An early guess. Is it Russell Crowe? No, no, it's not. But it's someone we would know because you said you didn't recognise the name,

but you got it eventually. Australian? Yes. Are we allowed to say who it is? Yes, totally. We'll get there. We'll get there. Let's make this interesting.

It was from a name that they've sort of made up. Like that's their email account. It's like not their real name. That's why I didn't recognise it. You said Bruce Samerson. Is that's their email account. It's like not their real name. That's why I didn't recognise it. Bruce Samazon, is that you? I wish. So his brand,

but what? Or Hurts, 2018, Tony. We can send emails. What does the brand do? Well, we'll see. Let's make this interesting. There's a copy of the Greedy Italians in it. I guess it's at first. Hey, it's a video library you can borrow for two weeks. It's not mine to give. All right.

I'm thinking your podcast. Either way, we'll be updating everyone. Let me know the process. Is there a waiting list? Wow. Imagine that. We get a waiting list of people to come on this show. We wait until the last minute to book it.

It's someone who's taking a break from their acting career. Is it Craig McLaughlin? What would his product be? Bad stand-up? Something legal? On the footy show? Yeah. Any guess?

It's someone who's taken a break from entertainment, Australian, and TV and film, and has a product. Are they back at acting now? Is that what this is about, or they're just focusing on the product? I would say no. Okay. Okay, we need some wild cards. And yet, apparently they have fans.

Yes, yes. So... Very interesting. Intriguing. Yes. And to be honest, we've got... I'm still not clear as to if this is real or not. Because this is such an out of the blue request that I'm like...

So this could be some kind of prank? As much as I've done my... This could be like Dilruch could have set this up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if they have, it's such... I'll say this, it's not a current huge name that you see everywhere on TV. Is it Grant Dodwell from A Country Practice

and Willing and Able? No, no. Can you give us a decade where they might have been at their peak? Yeah. Yeah, look, great, great request. I would say I think late 90s. I'll just double check that. I'm on your homepage now.

I'm on IMDB. Does their IMDB refer to them as hot property? Give us a few clues. 90s into the 2000s is when I would say is the peak. What about John Paulson? Remember, he was huge in the 90s, and then he stopped to just run Tropfest, his brand. Oh, right.

No, it's not him. God, that would be good, us being asked to push Tropfest on this podcast. But what I love is if this is not real, they have just stitched me up absolutely magnificently because if you're going to trick someone, you're not going to say Russell Crowe. If you pick someone, like I've had friends that have started fake accounts

for very like seventh or eighth or ninth sort of billed actors in reasonably known films and put Twitter accounts and people just buy it because like who would make that up? And if this is someone you know sorry Peter Mockery from Murticle

for example yes or even lower than that yeah yeah if this is someone you know pranking you it is a master stroke to go through the

the email address that's on your website right not to use your personal contact details you know that that really ends it and then to spell

your name incorrectly I'm loving it. Because I've been following the career, well career, if you go to the IMDB and you type in the name Alan Crapper, this is a man who was in one Australian film in 1983 called Moving Out with Vince Colosimo. I think moving. I think could have been moving.

I would have gone with that in 1983 for sure. I might be confusing it with Breaking Loose with Peter Phelps. But he's like 35th in the credits. Right. And every year I like to just go to his IMDb page and then just tweet an update. And just go, Alan Crapper still timing his run. Right.

But it's not him, I'm assuming. No. No spoilers. Can we hear a bit more about the product? We don't know that it's a him. It could be a her. More information. Yes. Well, I'll assuming. No. No spoilers. Can we hear a bit more about the product? We don't know that it's a him. It could be a her. More information. Yes.

Well, I'll take it from here. Like I said, to skip ahead, I have after this done my due diligence as much as I can. And so what I'm not – I haven't confirmed it, but at the moment I think this is real. Okay. Okay. Right. So let me know the process. Is there a waiting list?

How does it work? Here is the website of my brand. Should I say the name of the website? Yes. Because it's not their name. Okay. Oh, and have you checked that you can... Yes.

It's a real website. Yes. Yes. I did click on the link link I did do my due diligence Because if it is a prank I mean it's an elaborate one So is there a waiting list How does it work

Here is the website of my brand www.wileywilson.com Dan Wiley No No Brackets Didn't use my real name. Here is an interview where I discuss my brand

and a little on how I started it. What's the brand? At no stage in the email does it say what the brand is. Yeah. So, where I discuss my brand and a little on how I started it. Full stop, I just started using social media. Link to the Instagram account, which I look at, it's been active for six years.

Right. So I was like, well, you didn't just start it. It's been active. And you've got- Does this end with a murder? It's just sounding so elaborate. And it's got 50,000 followers, the Instagram account. Bots, do you think?

No, I don't believe so. No, once you find out who it is, maybe you'll believe it. So, didn't use my real name. Let me know. Thank you. Then a link. Then a link to, like I said, it says, here's an interview where I discuss my brand a little on how I started it.

It's on, I believe, an Italian gossip site. Everything on the website is Italian. It's like, what's the gossip site in America? Perez Hilton or TMZ. Italian CMZ or TMZ. So the person that the interview is with. This is excellent work from the quiz master, I have to say. So no one's got any final guesses?

Oh, hang on. Can you give it male or female? Female. Female. Can you give us a bit of... Kate Fisher. No, but she does follow us and retweets and messages us on Twitter and stuff. And I was like, do you like the podcast?

And she's like, what podcast? Honestly. stuff and I was like do you like the podcast and she's like what podcast honestly and she does and it's not like she follows like millions of people she just follows us and I've been messaging it's just fans of you in real life no it doesn't yeah it just doesn't know it's just went that looked interesting I'll follow that and retweet that good for her. Yeah, yeah. Great instincts, Judith. Good pick up. So female, 90s, early 2000s, Tony Martin. Can you give us a little bit more? I've got my head full of neighbours' actresses. Yeah, I'm trying to think who is in the secret life of us. What's the brand do? Can you give us a little bit of a clue there?

I don't know because you won't know this person from the brand because it's a new brand. It's only just been painted. It's only just, okay. But it might be part of the picture. It might help us paint it. I'll give you this tiny bit of a clue. I think you're thinking, Keezy,

you're thinking of like country practice actors. Let's think Hollywood. Oh. Wow. Okay. Let's think Beyond Wondering Valley. Big in Hollywood or just a few cameos? No, bigger than cameos. Hollywood. Let's think beyond Wonder Valley. Big in Hollywood or just a few cameos? No, bigger than cameos.

Whoa. Because I've seen that name, Wiley Wilson, recently. Right. So I'm trying to remember. It's only just been patented. It followed me on Twitter or Instagram or something. But as soon as you said it, I was like, I've seen that name come up. Right.

Relatively, within the last week, I think. Right. Okay. Is it Nicole Kidman? the last week, I think. Right. Okay. Is it Nicole Kidman? No. No, it's not. On her official account on Instagram, it says, actor, philanthropist, inventor.

Inventor? I kind of never want to find out. Oh, my God. Ryder Mitchell. Oh, that's a good one. That's a very good guess. That's a good one, but no. We should make this unlistenable by just putting who it is

in the episode description so there's no mystery on the plot. Naomi Watts. No, no. This reminds me of a time that you and I, Tommy, were in a pub and we played a game for an hour as to what I'd just bought at Chadston. And it went for an hour and it ended up being... I heard that episode. It was a great episode.

It's the best game. It's the best game. Is. It's the best game. Is it? I'm wondering if anyone ever tuned in again. No, we didn't record it. I wish. Oh, okay. Okay.

I wish. We talked about it because it was a group of us, about eight of us or something in a pub, and the game went for like two hours, and we were all so into it. Yeah. And the answer- Were you just blind?

I mean, that would make it more interesting. It was people shouting at each other, and the answer was Hillary Clinton's autobiography. Wow. So the person messaging us is Hillary. No, it's not her. Do you want to know? Do you want any final guess?

Yeah, I think we do. Okay. Okay, right. The person who is emailing me, I'll do the biography for my own debate. With her distinctive voice, ultra intense eyes and statuesque frame, Peter Wilson probably could have carried her breakout television show La Femme Nikita on looks alone. That's right.

Oh my God. That name hasn't popped into my consciousness for at least 20 years. Totally. So that's why it's a googling a great one such was television in 1997 but when viewers realized that this killer with a killer body could actually act the show became the highest rated drama on cable did it Peter Wilson still

silk stalkings yeah or dangerous curves yeah so La Femme Nikita went from 1997 2001 it was like a Luc Besson movie Or Dangerous Curves. Yeah, so La Femme Nikita went from 1997 to 2001. It was like a Luc Besson movie, wasn't it? Yes. That's right. Was it Bridget Fonda? No.

Oh, yes. Or no, that was the, wasn't that the remake? Yeah, I think there was an American remake. Yeah, so she went on to act in The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and Superman Returns. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen was the film that ended Sean Connery's career. He's never made another one since. Right, right.

Well, God, that's a good 15 years ago. So, yeah, look, what she said is true. She hasn't popped up very recently on the IMDb. She's just in very few things. So she's been concentrating on this brand. What is the brand? Do we get to the bottom of that? Yes, please. Let's get to the brand.

The brand is, let's go back to wileywilson.com and explain what it says there. What she's selling, what she wants to come on our show and promote is the first line on the website says, finally, a versatile bra design that fits and feels like it's made for you and your diverse lifestyle. That is an episode I would love to hear. Yeah, and me too. To pick us to spruce bras. I love it.

The Wiley Bra is the original wire-free, pad-free, push-up bra with fully adjustable multifunctional straps. You know you really need a product when the ad starts with, finally. Oh, it's what we've all been crying out for. Well, you used to be a copywriter for products, or for radio ads. Finally.

There's never been a better time for a push-up bra. But hang on, is she genuinely a fan of the Dum Dum Club, or is this like a letter that says, and then there's a slightly different font where it says, dumb club well this is the confusing thing so that's all read that's all reading like that and uh and then at the end there's a very different sort of uh signature at the end which says uh so it's all written from um the point of view of peter wilson sure then it says sincerely john grosso wiley John Grosso, Wiley Wilson president. What?

Yes. What? So when does she say her name's Peter Wilson? There's a link to her personal social media. Yeah, she gives her Instagram, which is Peter Wilson. Right. And she's saying, for the last several years, I took time off from acting on TV.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. John Grosso doesn't turn up on anything. Right. He's the president. So I think she's messaged John Grosso because she's saying, I've only just got on social media. Apparently she hasn't used email before. So I think she's dictated this to John Grosso.

John Grosso, the president of the company, has had to send it himself from the official Wiley Wilson account. Wow. Because I just had to Google her because I didn't know who she was. You know her now, though. I don't really. I've never seen that show. What else is on her IMDb?

What's she done of late? Well, like I said, there's very, very little. And I don't think I'm knocking her by saying that. But in the last eight years, she's been on a show called Dutch Kills, three years ago, which I've never heard of. No. A short movie called The Liberator.

Anyone pop into Hoyts to see that one? Because the Femme Nikita show, it was pretty good. Yes, I absolutely remember that. But I'm, you know, along with, finally, I'm also concerned with the phrase, took time off from. Yes. You know? Yeah.

Was that on purpose? Yeah. So she was in CSI Miami eight years ago. Well, who wasn't? Really? But this is the thing. So I was like, wow, if this is really her. And look, everything's pointing towards it being her, to be honest, at the moment, I think.

It seems too weird for it not to be exactly genius yeah but i'm like like exactly like you said judith i haven't thought of that name for that long it's like that is so perfect yes yeah if it was someone that was still on tv or in big movies now you go well this is this is a stitch up but i'm worried though because i just googled her and nothing comes up in the results for her about this company. So, like, why? If she's like a relatively well-known public figure, why is she staying incognito? You've run with the ball there. I think relatively well-known public figure.

I think that sun may have set. That's what I'm picking up on. I would never say that because she's a listener. If you're listening to that, Peter, you're a superstar in my heart. Peter, it doesn't mean you're not a lovely, lovely person. But, you know, your career's fucked. Let's just get to it. Until she comes back on this podcast.

Exactly. True. Because we can get Dilraba Logie. We can shift some brands for Peter Wilson. Have you ever? Sorry, Tyne, I was going to say, are you shifting them for Peter Wilson or for John Grosso? That's what I want to get to the bottom of.

I don't want Grosso getting his grubby mitts on any podcast money that comes in. Have you ever had someone come on with a product and try and crowbar it into the conversation? I don't think we've ever had anyone ask us to come on the podcast. It's generally us badgering you guys until you say, I've got time off real work for one day. I'm wondering whether you should follow this Peter Wilson thing to the end of the line. Oh, totally. I think we have to, yeah.

Absolutely. Totally. But that's what I'm trying to say is I'm worried because it doesn't show up on her when you Google her. So why is she trying to stay out? You know what I mean? Like, why isn't she going out going like, hey, remember me from La Femme N'Kia? I've launched this bra line. I don't want to blow up a spot.

I don't want her to get undue attention. You obviously haven't been checking the videos on the Italian TMZ site. Right. Because that explains everything. Okay. Yeah. But I take Tommy's point because many years ago when Kate Jackson, one of the old Charlie's Angels, started selling mattresses,

you know, you couldn't shut her up about it. Was that on WTF with Marc Maron or what podcast did she spruik that on? And I don't think anyone wants to see John Grosso modelling this grass. Or see him in a rebooted La Femme Nikita. Yeah. Hey, we don't know what John Grosso looks like. Maybe you're quite wrong. He might have fantastic teeth.

Exactly. What's La Male Nikita? What's the... La Homme Nikita. Yeah. La Homme Nikita. Sorry, pardon my non-French. La Homme Nik.

Yes. Yes. La Homme Nik. That's great. Okay. So then I started thinking, okay, well, sure, she was a stand-in on La Femme Nikita, you know, 15 years ago. But what has she done?

Has she done podcasting? Has she done any sort of talking? Is she going to be able to hold her end up on this show if she comes on this show? So I checked. She did Conan back in the day. She did Letterman. Wow.

We can have someone on that's done Letterman. That's pretty cool. That is impressive. She was on Leno. She was on the Rosie O'Donnell show. See, this is good for like 20 minutes of going through all those shows. Yeah. What happens?

Totally. I'm going to have to watch La Femme Nikita, aren't I? Yeah. I'm going to have to bone up and see if it holds up today. And then I go right back into the – because I'm going into all the stuff she's appeared as herself on IMDb. The very first appearance as herself, WWE Monday Night Raw.

Wow. Look out. Now, I was impressed by having someone from Letterman on the show, but someone from the WWE on this show. Someone who may have met the Iron Sheik. Yes. Someone in close acquaintance with Rowdy Roddy Piper, maybe. So, have you written back to this email?

I Well see I thought I'd leave it until now Okay And then write back Because Like you said It rings a bell that That they

That account has followed you on Instagram Yep I've done the homework They follow us on Little Dum Dum Club on Instagram Okay So I've got the The doors are open

I can I can email them back. I can message them back. What's a Wiley Wilson? Yeah. That's a strange, that's a weird name. I feel like, yeah, I don't really understand why she's changed her name slightly.

Instead of just, you know, like the Elle McPherson's intimate range. Why go Wiley? Why put a man's name? Maybe she's turned into a coyote. Yes, right. This might be the acne range of lingerie. Yeah, we're the roadrunner.

You're going to put this bra on, then your face is just going to be black. Your hair is standing on end. What happened? And John Grosso's in the background going, meep, meep. It's all making sense now. I like Tony's invention of the blackface bra. Hang on. Be very careful.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay, so I'm going to message right now and get to the bottom of this. Will this go to Grosso or will it go to Wilson? I think that's the $64 million question, Tony Martin. So you're saying we might even get a reply by the end of this episode. Here's something to keep listening for, people. I think LA time, I don't think that's going to happen.

I don't believe that's going to happen. They'd be up all night, wouldn't they? Yep. Waiting to see if their house is burnt down. Right, so my message is simply, hi. This is because Peter Wilson. Misspell Peter. Get her back.

P-E-T-E-R. Yeah, yeah. Right. Hi. Did you really email me? Dude, if you thought the what Did I Buy Today game was boring, it's got nothing on watching events. No, watching Carl text with one finger, it's great.

Thank you. It's gripping stuff. It's a pity that you can't see it, listeners. And you need to know, Jude, none of this is cut out. This is gripping. I'm sweating. I've messaged her, hi, did you This is gripping. I'm sweating. Yeah. I've messaged her, hi, did you really email me the other day?

Okay. All right, then. So, look, we've got- Stand by. We've probably got another half hour on this podcast. Yeah, yeah. But what, you emailed her from our account? From, yes.

Okay. From the dum-dum Instagram. That just looks insane. That's just a hamburger saying, did you email me the other day? But she said, big fan of your work on the podcast. She wants to be on the podcast. She'll recognize. Yeah, exactly.

If it's real, she'll know what's going on. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, fair enough. And do you have a, do they follow any other accounts? Like, do they follow us on Instagram

or anything like that? That's what I'm saying. She follows us on Instagram. Oh, right. So you messaged her follows us on Instagram. Oh, right. So, you message her through that? Yes. Oh, right. I thought you were saying Twitter.

Okay. No, no. It doesn't matter. So, that's on Instagram. All right. So, the message is out there. All right. I don't like our chances given that it's, must be midnight or 2 a.m. or something over

there. Stranger things have happened. L.A. L.A., baby. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, after watching the documentary Entourage,

of course, that's how they live their lives. They're probably just getting up about now. But this has actually reminded me that I have a question for you, T-Man, because I got a very unusual request a few months ago and I wondered if you got a similar request. To do this podcast? No. No, I never got that request. To do this podcast? No, no. I never got that request.

It was from a gentleman who knew my work from Martin Malloy and he said strange question I've started a website called celebrityfarts.com Oh my god! I did get this!

Yeah. I did get this. And I'm asking my heroes for fart recordings. Oh, my God. No pressure, thanks either way. You'd need some pressure. Well, I guess you would. So, yeah, I did get that. And I just went, you know, I've done a lot of stuff.

But I'm going, I just don't know if I want my brand, my fart brand to be out there. I had a very similar response because I went, listen, because it was a very nice email. He's obviously a lovely gentleman, but I said, look, I've shared a lot with my audience over the years, but I'm a lady.

And you have to draw the line somewhere. No, I don't think it was. I have a feeling too that this would be like one of these comedy festival shows where this is someone who's seeing which celebrities bite. Yeah, right. I felt it might bite him on the ass. Because I just thought, how did he get to that point?

I thought, you know, is this after Bong 17? He just thought, you know, celebrity farts. I mean, you know, I know we want to know a lot about celebrities, but do you want to hear Lady Gaga cut the cheese? I don't think you do. It's interesting to hear that you got this email as well, Tony, because if it wasn't for that, I'd go, this is in the IMDB bag. This has got to be one of Martin's ones that he updates as well.

If he's listening to this podcast right now, I promise, within three months, I may be able to get you Peter Wilson's phone. There you go. Or John Grosso's at the very least. But also I remember thinking, you know, he's mentioning Martin Malloy. You can't get Martin Malloy. Martin Malloy isn't available on the internet. And yet the idea that my fart could be preserved digitally for long after my death.

Okay, well, imagine like 60 years from now. Well, there's nothing of his work in the 90s. Oh, there's a recording. Let's see what this is. Just somebody sitting there playing the fart over and over again going, yeah, apparently he was somebody. Martin Muller had the album Eat Your Peas. This is more like Eat Your Beans, mate.

No, it's more Poop Shoot. Or the Brown Album. So was he trying to hook you in? Was there anything in the email where they're like, you know, these are people who've already agreed? No. So you could have been the first person. I could have been, unless you sent them all out on the same day.

I have to say, I remember the request, but what was he going to do with them? He was just going to whack them on a website. So I'm hoping it would be like one of those games, you know, where like in magazines, they'll have like celebrity eyes and mouths and you have to match them up. So obviously just a name and then, you know, a bit of a bit of a fart. Oh, that sounds like Judith Lucy.

If I was him, I wouldn't even, I'd just fake them all. Yeah, exactly. Oh, don't give him ideas. Is this really Brian Dennehy? That would be the lowest of the low, though, like being exposed for faking farts. That's exactly right, Carl. He's got standards.

And I take my hat off him for that. Not my pants, but my hat. Celebrityfart.com.au has integrity. Come on. Do you think he's one of those guys, you know those services that were popular where you could get like, there'd be a list of like D-grade Hollywood actors Who they would be able to get to do a voice

An answering machine greeting for you Do you think it's like he ran that And now that no one has answering machines He's like what's the next hook What's the next thing I can chase people down To have a celebrity database of But I think the question is Did anyone say yes

It would be good to know Can you Google this now? Have a look. Just Google Celebrity Farts. I think it was just CelebrityFarts.com. Was there a.au? Let's just try CelebrityFarts.com. Because he wouldn't want to confuse it with the Hollywood part.

Yeah, the international Celebrity Farts. I think that was the last entry on Peter Wilson's IMDb. I mean, if we get this guy on to promote CelebrityFarts.com and we pair him up with Peter Wilson, I mean, what an episode. Oh, it's loaded. Hang on. Hang on. Oh, yeah, it exists.

Hell yeah. Who said yes? Are we going to regret this for the rest of our lives, Tony Martin? Dilruk Jai Singer, number one. To be fair, I do love the opening line on it. As soon as you open up, just in like 64 point, it says inner workings from the world's best. God damn.

Put some thought into that. Describe the visual style to it because I'm picturing something that was made in, you know, like 1999 on one of those free website builders. This is great. Hopefully this is the same genius behind this hoodwinking of the Peter Wilson if this is not real. But it is covered in pictures, right, of celebrities. Hamish Blake, TBC.

Julia Gillard, TBC. Courtney Barnett, TBC. Nick Cave, TBC. Oh, Nick Cave would be bang up for it, wouldn't he? So we've got TBC. Free moody fuck. Ian Hewitt and TBC. They haven't even nabbed Ian Hewitt and Hewitt. Is there anyone who isn't TBC. Free moody fuck. Ian Hewie Hewitt's in TBC. They haven't even nabbed Ian Hewie Hewitt.

Is there anyone who isn't TBC? No, there's none. There's no confirms. Who put this list together? Like, what a bizarre grab bag of people. Oh, I like the diversity. Waleed Ali, TBC. Nice.

Let's go through again. Who do we reckon he's an actual chance of getting? Hamish Blake, I could see going for it. I reckon for the right money Warwick Capper would say yes. Totally. But out of the people that he's put on the site, Ida Buttrose, I mean, if she's not going to get put up with a sausage roll being thrown at her by Ding Dong.

It was at Brussels Sprouts. Yes, it was too. I'm going to say that Ida Buttrose would actually say that she never has farted. Yes. That would be, yeah. You know, like autograph collectors always have, you know, the big fish. I think the big fish in fart collecting would be Ida Buttrose. Ida Buttrose, yeah.

Are Tony or Judith on the TBC? No. Right. Wow. So that means they are definitely confirmed. You were a buttrose. I mean, I really did write back and say thanks but no thanks. And you can subscribe at the bottom.

Keep up to date with the hottest and most exclusive audio. I like the use of the word hottest. Steamy. Judith, you should have gotten him to go through your management because I would love to see how that plays out. Yeah. Oh, boy. Hustling someone down for 15% of an appearance fee plays out. Yeah. Oh, boy. Hustling someone down for 15% of an appearance fee for doing a phone.

Oh, my God. So there's a thing at the bottom of the page. I feel like should we be giving them this much attention or not? Is this fine? Oh, and I've got to say it was a lovely email. Like, honestly, I thought a hat off to you. You're clearly a nice guy. I really did. Yeah, great. Okay. Well, honestly, I thought, hats off to you. You're clearly a nice guy. Right.

I really did. Yeah, great. Okay, well, you know what? In that case, I'm fine with saying who it is on Instagram because there's an Instagram link at the bottom of the page. It doesn't even go to Celebrity Farts on Instagram. It goes to this guy's personal account. And his personal account is underscore lolboy69.

So story checks out at the moment. I reckon we could have guessed that. This guy absolutely rules. Lolboy, if you're out there and you're listening, if you want Tommy Daslow on there, you know, once you work your way, once Courtney Barnett knocks you back, you keep going further and further down the ladder. I'm starting to think, you know, I'm glad I said no to the farting,

but I never thought to ask if he was single. I mean, this could be the start of something. If you want to start a new website called openmicfarts.com.au, me and Tom, you're very happy to contribute. Just try out farts. Yes. I hope he got that Newstart government allowance for this, just starting up his own small business.

All right. More Googling. You take it from here. I found a hole to go down. What do you mean? Take it from... There's nothing else we want to talk about. I know.

Whatever this hole is. But I need two hands for this Googling. All right. Well, do your patented talking into the mic while it's resting on your chest technique. Any other strange requests, Tony Martin? You must have had a few over the years. I'm trying to think. Oh, here's one that happened.

So on one of our old albums, like one of the D-Generation albums, there's a sort of sketch where Rob is hosting a terrible FM breakfast show and they've got a segment called Name That Biscuit. And he's just like breaking a Monte Carlo in half

and people are calling in going, is it a Kingston? And about five years ago, I got an email via, you know, through about five different people, like via Working Dog, saying, I understand you are the person who owns the rights to the idea, name that biscuit. Would we be able to use that on our breakfast show? Yes. Like for real.

And did you grant them the privilege? Well, I think I did because I like the idea that they weren't willing to just do it anyway and risk, you know, me suing them. Like wouldn't that be a fantastic court case? Yeah, yeah. Was this a big commercial radio station? It was in the Northern Territory. I remember that.

We wanted to name that biscuit. That thing that you did as a joke, we want to do for real. For real. We want your imprimatur. The idea that we came up with the precursor, as if this would be good, we think is good. All right. So my deep diving, my painted deep diving of the internet.

I found out who this person is. This person that emailed you, the person behind celebrityfarts.com.au is Jason John, a member of Melbourne rock band The Stiffies. I am definitely going to have a drink with this guy. I know Jason. Do you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've met him a drink with this guy. I know Jason. Do you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've met him a few times.

Right. And yes, Jason John, absolutely, that was the name on the email. Right. Yeah. Great. But he still didn't consider you big enough to be on his venture. I know. He has easy access to me.

That's insulting. Yeah. I went to a party at his house once. To be fair, if you went to celebrityfarts.com.au and the first thing that comes up is some fucking podcaster yeah you'd start to go did you really earn that domain name yeah i'm gonna have a word whereas nick caves far yes yeah even tbc i mean it gives the gives the air that something's happening absolutely good pun cred, okay. Well, this is interesting. All right, this is something to follow up.

If Jason John is behind the Peter Wilson thing too, I'm going to be severely disappointed. Yes, totally. John Grosso sounds like a better name for someone running Celebrity Farts. No, look, I have full faith, foolish faith, I should say, in Peter Wilson. So I'm very – I just think it's too brilliant. Just checking phone definitely on. Yes, yes.

Oh, yeah, have a squiz. Who do we think that Jason John could get? Of people that we know, like in the world of comedy. What can you tell us about Jason John? I'm intrigued by him now that you say that you've actually met him. He could definitely get Dilruch Jai Singer. I mean, he has never said no to anything. I mean, you look at him, you realise that.

Yeah. The Stiffies are actually a pretty good band. Okay. Yeah, they're good. And what does he do in the Stiffies? He plays bass and sings. On bass, of course. In the Stiffies, yeah.

And does this make sense in terms of what you know of Jason, that he would be chasing celebrity farts? I mean, yeah, I know him, you know, the fact that he's in a band called The Stiffies, so it's not a huge leap. It's not like when you read that name, I wasn't like, whoa, what, Jason? He's gone lowbrow. Yeah, sure.

It makes sense. But he's a pretty normal dude. Yeah, sure. I think maybe he works in advertising or something. I haven't seen him for ages, but yeah. Well, say g'day. Well, you know, maybe he listens. I don't know.

Hey, Jason, if you're listening, let's catch up, dude. I've just looked at the time. I thought it was like the middle of the night in LA. No, it's like 10 p.m. It's 10.30 p.m. Yeah. So we're a chance still. Yeah.

But still no reply? Not at the moment. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I could probably get Jason John on the line if we want that. Wow. All right, great. probably get Jason John on the line if we want that. Wow. All right, great. Let's work our way up.

We need a backup in case Peter Wilson doesn't come through. Yeah. Let's line the stiffies up. Yeah. You know, as our B choice. What? We just need someone to say hello to us on social media by the end of the episode. Is that what you're saying?

Yes, yes. It's anyone. Let's be honest. It's got to end with Dilruch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll text my mum and see if she writes back. Yeah. Dilruch's probably, he's that keen, you know, he's a listener to this show.

He's probably outside right at the moment trying to listen to it live. So, yeah, that's easy. Well, let's say this. So, speaking of celebrities, I mean, you know, you guys are celebrities. You know, you. Oh, that's stretching it. Of course you are. I mean, I've always wanted to

know um sorry tony i'm just saying that no no i was i was introduced i don't consider myself a celebrity there was a brief period after martin molloy when i was sort of offered things i remember being offered dancing with the stars oh i got i got dancing with the stars as well and it was exactly like what we were talking about. But it was like that. It was the form letter. Like it was, and then I immediately noticed that Tony was in a slightly different font. But then it kept on going down that path.

It was like, we feel that you, Tony, would be an ideal person to come on Dancing with the Stars. And that would really increase the visibility of Tony and that Tony's fans would be – and every time it said Tony, it was in a slightly – that Mr Black kind of dropped in way. Have you ever had the one where they've done that at the start but then by the end they've forgotten to change one or two of them? I got an offer from the Comedy Festival once and it was like, for your show, Inside the Egg.

What the fuck is this? Did you, for your show, Inside the Egg. What the fuck is this? Did you look up whose show was Inside the Egg? Yeah, it was someone I hadn't heard of. Okay. Well, let's not forget someone that we know actually introduced me one afternoon at a book launch as one of the great comedians from the 90s, Judith Lucy. Who was that?

That was Tony Wilson. Oh, was he joking? No. Had a few, perhaps? Well, it was his book launch. But yeah, anyway, I've never let him forget it. To be fair, you were on at a gig of mine that I run recently and I had the posters up and your opening line was,

I just saw the poster on the way onto the stage and it says Judith Lucy from The Late Show and Cracker Jack. Nice to know I haven't fucking done it in 25 years. I was like, I love both those shows. Sure, but, you know, they happened last century. However, I did a benefit on the weekend, in fact, with Dilruch. He really is everywhere. Oh, totally.

And I was hilariously brought on as an international comedy superstar. Right. Admittedly, it was Brisbane. And so maybe they just thought, look, we can get away with it. Well, a lot of people want Brisbane, Queensland to secede from Australia. There you go. So technically that would be the case then. I mean, you know, it was lovely but just inaccurate.

Yes. But also Jude does have a lot of things that you forget on the resume. Like I'd forgotten that were you having sex with Chris O'Dowd in the Sapphires? Yes I was. That is correct. He in fact Did you add that to IMDB under that title? I was already there. It was a best picture

winner was it? Yes It's a beautiful story because the director just happened to see me at an airport and immediately happened to see me at an airport and immediately thought to cast me as a 55-year-old racist pub owner. So that is obviously just the vibe I give out. And then, yes, my character is in a relationship with Chris O'Dowd who tells me to, I think it's something to do with having a flabby arse anyway.

So it wound up with me being a racist and having a flabby arse. And, Jude, I know you've told this story many times, but just remind us again what you were going to be in Son of the Mask, which was a sequel to The Mask with Jim Carrey that was made in Sydney with who was like the – Oh, that's right. Jamie Kennedy. Jamie Kennedy.

I was going to say with Warra Capper because he did Fortress. That's right. Because I did talk about this on Martin Malloy, so you might actually recall it more clearly than I do but I think it was that I was

to play, they said, oh she can do anything she wants with the role but as it currently stands, it was written as a middle-aged Indian man. I think, yes. I think that's true. Yes. It's a shopkeeper. Yeah.

Or something. And I felt that that was just too much of a stretch for me, I think. But hey, once you put the mask on, you know, you can't see the skin colour or gender or anything like that. This is true, Tommy. I didn't see the big picture. Yeah. That's amazing. Oh, my God.

You've told that many times. How do I not know that story? It hasn't come out for a while. I thought you were going to talk about Skippy from Family Ties because I feel like I tell that one a lot. Oh, my God. What happened there? I forgot. I slept with him. Oh, okay. Was that a whole festival show?

Did you? I have mentioned it in a show. I'm mentioning it again this year, actually, because the new show is my history with men. So Skippy does get a mention because I actually found a photograph of me with Skippy. Wow. I do remember it.

Fully clothed. I'll just throw that in. What was his real name? Mark Price. Mark Price. So he was a in. What was his real name? Mark Price. Mark Price. So he was a comedian. What a boring name for a great character. Yeah, there you go.

I remember there was a show you did years ago, and it did tell some stories about a man you were involved with. And I remember you telling me that that man left the country the day the show opened. Yes, I think we both knew that gentleman. And the last I heard of him, he was wanted by the police. Seriously? That's a great point. It's a low blow.

Sorry, I'm sorry. I take that back. Jesus Christ. I would never have sex with Greg Fleet. Come on. I'm sorry. You have to have sex with Greg Fleet or submit to CelebrityFarts.com.

Which one is it? That's what my life has become, Tommy. That's my picker box. Jesus. Yeah. Do you want to be hung or the electric changer?

What would you rather be? That's the hypothetical. Oh, man. Do you know the detail I remember about that man we're talking about? The man who, you say he's been... Fled the we're talking about, the man who you say is being – Fled the country.

What is he being hunted for? I don't know. Did you sleep with Christopher Skaes? Well, yes. Because I remember Googling him and trying to find out more about him, and I discovered that he had played as a session musician on two Vanilla Ice albums but not the one that had the hit on it. Great.

How were there two more? Let's not forget that we have both appeared in a video clip for John Farnham. Oh, that's true. Yes. But John actually... In the perfectly titled Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time. Yes. We're in that video.

What did you play? Well, it's everyone from The Late show is just doing something in that clip. And I know me and Mick Molloy are dressed as Billy Ray Cyrus and we are trying to show John Farnham how to do the achy, breaky heart dance. I remember Mick driving a truck at one point and I remember trying to put makeup on John Farnham. And I remember trying to put I'm trying to put makeup on John Farnham You didn't revisit your role

From the parody of the John Farnham Video on the Late Show From Five in a Row Where I was As I have confessed many times before Vanetta Fields Yes In the background

Which caused you to apply Pretty sturdy makeup to your face Not only in blackface I'm also dressed as a woman. So it's doubly offensive. The perfect footie show sketch. Wow, I don't think I even knew that. It's because we did that. It was those days where...

It was a different time. It was a different time. But it was also that thing where, okay, if everyone has to play every role, so we're not going to get any extras. We're not going to hire any... We are going to do every part and then suddenly

you're blacking up yeah yeah I did you know what and I only bring that up because I went down a rabbit hole on YouTube the other day and I did watch it

I watched the you have to freeze like I'm way up the back oh don't worry and I did yeah going to be blown up so I watched that

and then the the next one the five more in a row I don't think I'm in that one no I don one, the Five More in a Row. I don't think I'm in that one. No, I don't think you are either. I don't think Tina Turner was in it, so there was no need for Tony Martin to appear. That's the one where Mick and Santo are the Hunter brothers.

They're in the fat suits as Mark and Todd Hunter from Dragon. Yeah, I don't think I'm telling any tales of the school, but I think they ran out of big names and big songs to parody by the second single. I don't think you could do anything in those clips again. I think it's all completely offensive. Yes. Oh, those were the days.

Comedy was way easier back then. Damn. Oh, my God. We've got to come in these woke times where we have to – oh, no, we still do fat jokes about Doolork. That's fine. No, well, what I was going to say is – and I hope you don't mind me saying this, Judith,

but we've had you on once before. Indeed, with the wonderful Denise Scott. Yes, beautiful Denise Scott. And that was what, maybe like four years ago, five years? I want to say four. There's been a long time between drinks. Indeed. And I would like to think this is – now now I don't mean to spring this on you,

but this is a full circle for myself and Tommy as podcasters, as we've gone, we've learnt from that last episode because when people ask us what's our worst moment in podcasting, we save that episode. Oh, dear God. Really? Because we come in and like like i said i used to love the late show you know love the late show came at the right time for me i was like 17 18 and it was on every saturday night and you would not go to a party to watch it because you know it was the different from anything you'd seen on tv at the time so i was like man this is the best

show of all time and then to come into a podcast and we came in with our half-assed act of like, oh, we'll talk about this or that. And we came to your house, we're on your home turf. And we were bringing up these stupid stories and you're like, what the fuck's the point of this story again? And we'd go, oh, we don't know. Okay, well, here's another one. And you're like, when's this one going to end? Fuck. and you're like, when's this one going to end? I'm like, fuck. Yes, I do recall that.

And to give it some context, I think Scotty and I were like doing heaps of interviews at the time. Right. And so, yes, you came to my flat and I didn't kind of realise that the shtick does at the beginning of the podcast, it is you guys just chatting. Yeah, it's meant to be bad. But it's that they are, well, mission accomplished. And so it felt like for about 20 minutes you two were just sitting there

in my flat completely ignoring Denise Scott and I. So I just thought, well, what the fuck is this? We sort of did the same thing here today, but at least we had the decency to do it in one of our own houses. Well, exactly. And you did actually bring Tony and I in about 30 seconds after you started, whereas that day, for some reason, you must have gotten on a roll and you just left it.

It felt like it really did feel like about half an hour while Scotty and I were just sitting there thinking. Like I said, we've learnt. What? We've grown. We've grown. Now we're reading out emails. I mean, this is good now.

Exactly, yes. Because I remember we've made two giant mistakes. We've done that. And with Tony himself, the first time we got you on the podcast, we did a live show and we're like, this is amazing. We've got Tony Martin on our live podcast at Town Hall. And we went, well, when should we bring him on? Well, it would be rude to have him on first, like an opening act or whatever.

We'll have him on last as the headline. And then we realised in hindsight, we've been on the show for 45 minutes and Tony's been sitting backstage for 45 minutes. I could have been chiming in with references to Grant Dodwell 20 minutes earlier. But it is that thing. I do know that thing when you've done like 15 interviews in a row and then it can really go ugly after that.

I remember I had to interview Carrie Fisher once for that show Quiet Word and she comes in and her opening line was I've just done 24 interviews in a row so good fucking luck finding something new to ask me luckily I had the time

guardian in my back pocket we were okay what's Star Wars really like um so so this is redemption this yes this is well well gentlemen you know thank you for having me back on no no no we blame ourselves what we literally did after that show was because i i very distinctly remember us being me personally definitely being so tense by the end of the show, I remember sitting there and feeling severe pain in my body and going, why am I hurting so much? And then I realised I'd turned to stone.

I'd gotten so stressed. I looked down at myself and I'm holding my hand in a fist right near my face going, why am I doing this? Why am I ready to punch myself? See, Carl, what you hadn't banked on is the fact that there is so much self-loathing going on with Scotty and I so that we mistook, you know, you being tense as just not being remotely interested in it.

Yes, sure. So that was it. It was just we were all locked in our own. There was so much self-loathing that some spilled into loathing us. I'm sorry that's how it came across. We were just in our own abyss of hatred and shame. And I'm not blaming you at all. We didn't know what we were doing.

That was years ago. That was us having a bit of an up. I think we'd just been going downhill and there was a bit of an incline there and we're like, we don't know what to do. I remember us throwing stories on the fire and you going, nope, next. And we're like, fuck. We started telling stories we'd told the week before. So the listeners were going, you just told that last week.

And we were like, we had to do something. I remember, and you're a pretty unshakable man, Carl. You're a very tough exterior. I remember I got home after the pod and then my phone rang and it was you and I picked it up and I went, hello? And then there was just a couple of seconds silence and you go, how do you think that went? I remember being outside of Richmond McDonald's

and just stopping there and leaning on a signpost and talking to you for an hour and us talking about what we could have done better or what just happened. Oh my God. I feel like getting Denise Scott on the phone right now. And I think we all need to just have a hug. I really feel we need to let it go. Don't hug me because I'm already sweating from this going, like being better than last time.

There really is nothing better than the realisation that, like, the moment that you're in where you were like, this is so fucked, knowing that the other person is feeling that way as well. Oh, yeah. It's just a mutual, there really is nothing more cleansing. Sorry, also people always ask us, has there been one gone wrong? And we always say, we have one, but we're not going to say what it is, out of due respect, but now i'm glad that it's out it's out everyone i don't think jude i don't want to be rude but you hadn't done any podcast like

this no because you know you're used you know you go on the project tony we're one of the guys you know it's like six minutes you've got to get the name of the show you've got to get your funny story because i remember that would have been one of the first podcasts I'd ever done. Probably had never listened to one at that point. Because I remember being on the phone talking to you and I remember saying to you, no, no, no, that's what their show is like. It's a bit. It's characters that they do that are bad at what they do.

No, that's a normal episode. That's right. Oh, that rules. But they were in my flat and they weren't talking to me. Right. Because I do remember, you're right, the bit at the beginning, you obviously record separately later when everyone's gone. We do that now, yeah, yeah.

In the early ones, yeah, you would often be sitting there going, should we be chiming in yet? Yeah, so I didn't know what a podcast was really, didn't know you and Tommy and just thought, well, this is – I think we've really hashed that out. I feel great. But just apologies. No, no, no.

I'm not blaming you. We're saying we're putting our hands up in the air for sure. But the other thing that's happened since that was recorded is that Judith has since done her own podcast and now knows just how hard it is to fucking fill these things up. Yes, indeed I do. Well, the next – it was funny because we'd never met before, and so I was like, Jesus, what an introduction.

And so we had that breakdown afterwards. I was standing outside of Richmond McDonald's for an hour and just sort of coming back to earth. And then the very next day I run into you on Swanson Street. Oh, my God, I remember. Yes, I'd never met you. And then I'd run into you twice in two days and then I'd see you and go, hi, Judith.

And you go, was that okay yesterday? And I was like a beaten wife. I was like, yeah, it was great. It was really great. I think everyone's going to love it. Because I think Scotty and I also went, wow, that didn't go well. So, yeah, just all the hatred. Testament to Tommy's editing skills because we went,

well, this is going to go out and everyone's going to go, what the fuck happened then? But I think people were just happy to hear you and Denise on the podcast that they overlooked the fact that we contributed nothing. No one noticed anything, yeah. Wow. So go, guys, go back. Go back and put these side by side and see what you think.

Relive the pain. Now that you know the back story. I thought that might come up today, and so I sort of thought, oh, maybe I'll go back and listen to that other episode to just kind of, you know, and I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was just hovering over the play, but my thumb started shaking. I was like, I can't take myself back there. I think I'm going to cry.

No. Don't do what we did five years ago. I feel this has been really healthy for you guys though to get this out on the table we need to say a quick thank you to you for your voice over work during the Logies for shouting us out first of all very very quickly before that

I thought you were going to say thank you to Tony because I said this to you about a year ago and I said Judith came up and I said oh look we did this podcast and we sort of fucked it and we were like, oh, no, and we just absolutely got broken by it. And you go, get her on the podcast with me. I'll make sure she doesn't hurt you again.

We'll send you an email pretending to be Peter Wilson. We'll have heaps to talk about. Oh, my God. But no, thank you. No, so going, sorry, we've got that out. This has been very healing. I've never been to therapy, but I think this is what it must be like. Very positive.

Carl, you look like about two years younger than when we started this. Oh, God, I feel about a kilo heavier with all the sweat in my shirt. I've got an appointment with my therapist tomorrow. I might call him up now and go, no need, mate. I'm going to save some money. I'm sorted. My life is fine. Has he been on this podcast yet? No, I've told to save some money. I'm sorted. My life is fine. Has he been on this podcast yet?

No, I've told him. That would be a great episode. I've told him to listen. That would be great. Yeah. But no, thank you. So, Tony, you were the voiceover of the Logies this year. Yes.

The competition that we tried our best to rig for Dilrub Jai Singh in his favour, which I believe we did a pretty fucking good job. Absolutely. He beat someone from home and away when everyone else, when he walked on stage, everyone only just heard your voiceover over the top of everyone else saying, who? Yeah, well, I have to say he was really worried about losing the Logie afterwards

because Lockie Hume was dragging me and Dillruch and Sean McAuliffe in his wake to various parties. And Dil was just didn't know where to put the logi. He was just constantly putting it down and then looking around and picking it up again. I believe he said after that Hamish Blake made it his mission to walk around all night and just steal it. And then wait for Dilruch to turn around, shit himself and then go, fucking look after it, mate. But yeah, you did in your intro for Dilruch to the stage. You mentioned this podcast.

Yeah. You shouted us out. I think I said something like, and I've been told not to mention them. Yes. But that was not true. I just said, say whatever you want. So, yeah, I mentioned the Dum Dum Club. I mentioned, I think Tina Bursall came out and I said,

from willing and able. I was just saying whatever I wanted. But I've mentioned this on Team Effort, but the worst moment happened at the end. Because I'd done a joke earlier. I think Hamish and Andy came out and I said, they're nominated later in the night, although I know for a fact it's gone to McAuliffe. Yes, yes. And of course, I knew that it hadn't. So, you know what I mean?

So, it's not going to cause any trouble. But you only know in advance who the outstanding winners are but not the popular winners right so i didn't know who was going to win the gold logi right so grant denya is was the winner and there was like seven so there were seven that it could have been so samuel johnson's coming out and i was just about to say and now here to announce the winner of the Gold Logie as Grant Denya, it's Samuel Johnson. And like six seconds before that, the producer goes, mate, maybe just play it straight with this one.

And the earpiece was Samuel Johnson's sister had died, so it was like, don't say anything tasteless. Right. And then it was Grant Denya. So if it wasn't him, if someone else had announced it, you would have let the cat out of the bag unintentionally. But imagine that. It would have been like La La Land.

I would have been the most hated man because it was such an emotional win for Grant. I would have fucked it. And it was just a guess. I didn't know that it was him. I would never have worked again. To be fair, he was paying $1.20 at Sportsbet at that time, so he was the overwhelming favourite. Cavalier claims it was all his doing. Right, oh right.

Oh no, Tom Gleeson as well. Yeah, of course. He probably did more than anyone. Yes, I mean, we totally claimed Dilruch. Actually, we were watching it right here. We were Skyping, not Skyping. We did a live stream on Facebook. Yeah, yeah.

And so we were watching it right here and we actually missed your mention of us because we were just screaming at Dilruch winning. Right. And so it wasn't until everyone on Facebook is like going, stop screaming. Tony just mentioned you on the fucking logins. It was just so good to mention a podcast on the Logans.

Totally. It's real good stuff. We need to wrap this up pretty soon, but do we have any updates? Have we heard anything from Wiley Wilson? I feel like I'm going to check right now. I feel like if we don't get a response, it's going to be underwhelming. But if we do get a response, is that crazy? Is that staged?

Is that realistic? I doubt we have, but we've got to check. Has it gone straight to Grosso? Anything? Active 15 minutes ago. Whoa. What? They left you on scene.

So we've missed it. No, no, no, no, no. I've just clicked onto it. You know when you look at the bank of messages and you can see and it says when people have been online? Yeah, yeah, yeah. A response to my message. My message,

hi, did you really email us? Yes, big fan of your work. Let's stay in touch. Yes! Wow! That's Peter Wilson's account, so that's actually, that's not the lingerie account. That's the real account. Wow. That's real.

I wonder what she's going to think when she hears this episode. La femme dum-dum. Well, I feel the only person who should be worried is me. Yeah. So I think you two are fine. Yeah. I think you were the one who said your career's fine. Yeah, that was me.

That was me. Hey, I've done some heavy editing on An Ep With Judith in the past. I can do it again. I also feel like I'm way overly excited for someone who doesn't appear to have worked for about ten years. I'm excited. I didn't even know who she was until you started reading out the email. I'm just excited that at some stage we're going to be talking about bras

on our podcast. All right. Well, we've got to wrap it up for another week. What an episode. Oh, my God. We've had celebrity farts. We've had Peter Wilson in bras. We've had a healing, a very big healing.

A very special episode. Yes. Judith, your tour for next year, Judith Lucy vs Men, is on sale now? You better believe it, baby. Nice. It kicks off in mid-December in Canberra, and then I'm hauling my sorry ass around this great brown land. Great.

And, Tony, are you going to go early and call who wins this one? Well, I don't know. Visit the website. Celebrityfast.com. That's the one to go to. Cool, Tony, you got stuff coming up? You got a podcast? I've got a podcast called Sizzletown, which is a phony talkback show where I play the host and all of the callers.

So my job is just me sitting in a booth talking to myself. And we've been sampled. We've been sampled Beastie Boys style a couple of times in there. Yeah, you've been mentioned quite a few times. You'll be hearing from our lawyers, incidentally. Yes. I like how much of an ad it is for us where you have a thing where you're recording in, not Podcast City.

I'm claiming that I'm recording at a place called Podworks in Richmond, which apparently people are constantly trying to find on Google Maps. And I claim that you are in the next studio, the Ash Williams show and Richard Feidler's Conversations. So often I'll just open a door and hear a bit of each of those.

And what I like is that you open the door to the Ash Williams podcast and it's Ash mentioning breaking his penis and then you open the door to ours and it's, and it's Ash mentioning breaking his penis. And then you open the door to ours, and it's Lemo going, oh, then I got my dick out. I'm like, what a great ad for this show. By the way, it's only like a three-second clip,

but I think Dil Rook is in it. He's actually laughing. Amazing. All right, guys. Yeah, check those things out. Thanks very much for listening, and we'll see you next time. See you, mate. See you. alright guys yeah check those things out thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time see ya mate see ya and welcome once

again to another installment they've done it again wow what was who said that is this studio haunted

I just wanted to get it out of the way I didn't want any dancing around it this week you and that is that a reflection

of you being fed up with how long we take to get to it, or is that more just like how certain you are of the quality of the episode that people just heard? For nicety's sake, let's say the second one. Okay, right. You're right. There is already far too much dancing on this show. You know what I mean?

It's like a fucking year 12 social, just nonstop dancing. We already take half an hour to read out a small number of names it changes every week whatever number it may be yeah why dance around stuff why not just get to the point um wow so lots to unpack there look we left a lot on the playing field so there's not too much i guess we have to explain about that but like plenty to follow up on yeah look look like i said within the episode people would ask us about you know episodes and and what we would maybe disappointed by or you know hardest guest or whatever it is so i think that was all explained it's it's sort of a nice thing to be able to come

out and say now with no insult meant to judith of course you know the way that we explained in the episode it was more yeah it's because we bring it up yeah and then we're sort of constantly walking back from it yeah because we didn't want her to feel like we were going you suck no no no because that's not the case it was you know like we said it's a combination of our abilities at the time her you know you know i guess like she said people being two fucking idiots that she had never met before being in her house and in the middle of a junket in the middle of doing like a billion interviews for their tour that was just announced or whatever it was. It was the opposite of the perfect storm.

So, yeah, it was badly handled by everyone involved, sort of. Like we said on the ep, you know, no one, when we put it out, no one really picked it. Yeah. No one commented. Yeah. You know, I wonder if it was now and we were in the realm of doing Talking Dum Dum, would we have addressed it or would we have just gone, oh, we'd better not?

Hard to say. Yeah, I think we would have done something. We would have had to. There would have been a bit of dancing, I reckon. Yeah, we'd have to have. We'd have to have done something. Yeah. I mean, fucking hell.

Look at our recent work. Yeah, but that was sort of in a way where we were pretty confident that it wasn't going to get back or anything. We're never going to see those people again. Yeah, exactly. This would be a completely different circumstance. But yes, we chatted afterwards and it was just a great vibe in that room. A lot of positivity.

Great way to send the episode off. I hope we're all good with it. We certainly talked about, after the episode, we were all like, we had a big hug. Yeah, we're all good with it. Like we certainly talked about, you know, after the episode, we were all like, oh, we had a big hug. Yeah, we did have a big hug. To the guests. Yeah. So I feel like we're all cool, hopefully.

Yeah. But, I mean, it's easy for us to say that we're all cool because we're the ones that went, oh, fucking, you did this. Yeah, yeah. Like hopefully on the other side of it, it's all good. I thought she had fun. I'd seem like she had fun. Yeah, yeah.

I'd seem like she'd be keen to do it again if we got her in down the line. She'd do it again. She'd do it again. Right. But, yeah, so now we've just got to see what happens with this little thread of Peter Wilson. Yes. Totally.

So that's exciting. Totally. Yeah. So did you – so I'd never heard of her before. Right. Which I say on the app. Did you think I would have known who she was? I thought – I mean, given the time you i mean it would i would have thought it would have been running your heating zone because that show was on basically when you would have been about

90 what was it 98 98 to 2002 or 3 12 to like whatever yeah yeah i don't know i mean i remember i definitely blonde hot blonde on tv when you're 13, 14, 15. Yeah. How did you miss it? I have no memory of it being on. What was it on? Was it SBS? No.

It was like Channel 9 or something. I have no memory at all of it being on. Wow. Save it. This is all good gear to say to her. I got to line up some questions that are on par with when we interviewed Weird Al. Oh, God. And I asked him about his Hawaiian shirts and then shit the bed immediately.

Hey, Peter, first question. What does Le Femme Nikita mean in English? Oh, Carl, have you got any questions? I can't wait. But, yeah, we're recording this a couple of weeks before we put the episode up. So by the time people hear this, I probably will have started watching it. Oh, good. I'm going to go in in anticipation. Great. do you know it's so few seasons right it's

four or five okay god i hope it's i hope it stands up i don't want to get one ep in and be like oh man this is not a good show look you don't have to watch every episode to be able to talk to her i mean what guests have you ever done that much research for before yeah but i at least know i feel like i it's you've never said to me, let's have this person on. And I've been like, I literally have no idea who that is. Right. So I feel like I need to make up. Instead of having known who they were for 10 years,

I just have to condense all of that into like two weeks. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, look, God willing, it happens. Yeah. That's the thing. It's not locked in or anything. It's not locked in, but it's looking good.

Well, all we know at the moment is that we've made contact. Yeah. We know that? Yes. I know that. And I'm telling you. So now we know it. What if you and I, we're both pretty fit at the moment.

We're both exercising a fair bit and like trying to eat a bit better. What if we just like let go and just just we're packing some sweet melons so that we need this bra that she's selling maybe that'll be an added incentive if she knows that she can sell at least two to the hosts of the thing she's coming on yeah maybe that'll grease the wheels a little more yeah great great perfect um how good would it be if you and i just had big juicy tits not that good good. I think pretty cool. I don't want that to happen. What if we say if she comes on, we'll get implants next time we go to Thailand?

No. None of those things appeal to me at all. And I think they wouldn't appeal to her either. Wouldn't have thought so, Ed. Yeah. So, no. None of those things. Okay.

I'm very keen to know when this comes out, if we get any feedback from her. Because she was saying, oh, love your work and, you know, whatever. So let's see how much of a listener she is. Yeah. If we get a message on the Wednesday lunchtime. Yes. Look, I'm happy to take her up on this. I'm happy to have her on the show.

I think that would be great. But in terms of her saying she listens and is a fan, personally, I'm calling bullshit on it. Right. I think this was just part of a targeted, you know, I'm just going to throw shit out to as many different email accounts as I can find and we're just the only ones that have taken the bait. I would like to think that she hasn't fallen that far from grace. That she's

making up that she listens to podcasts that are on Impressed Podcasters. That's my gut feeling. Happy to be proven wrong. I hope I am proven wrong. I have nothing but respect for Peter and I think I believe everything she said. No, I have respect for her which is why I'm trying to say she doesn't

listen to this. Right. Well, I have respect for her. That's why I'm trying to say she doesn't listen to this. Well, I have respect for her. That's why I'm saying she's a liar. Look, very interested to hear follow-up stuff from her. It's getting – she's got – so, yeah, yeah. We're going to have to figure out how we actually meet her. Yeah. So, look, that will all –

Fly to Hollywood, baby. That's all coming down the pipeline. So, we'll figure all of that stuff out. That would be so good if we flew to LA to do it. Someone who I had never heard of until a week ago. Drop insane amounts of money. We said at the top of the episode we got some news. And we do have some news.

We have live show news. Yeah. We are going to be doing it again, as they say. We are doing a bunch of live shows within the Melbourne Comedy Festival next year

yes it's a thing we rarely do apart from every year so we're going to be doing so a lot of people in Melbourne come and see the shows they're always like

packed and sold out and we've always got awesome guests it's the best time of year for us to get great guests on live shows so we do four or five of them

you can go to our website and find out the dates but what uh if you're regulars if you guys have been before year after year just so you know uh we used to be always sunday afternoons we are now saturday afternoons yeah at a slightly later time so every saturday at 4 30 p.m yep at the european beer cafe we will be doing a live podcast with awesome guests that's it guys we're finally confident enough to go up against the footy great so uh those dates are uh i believe we start on wow we start on my birthday yeah we start on march 30 yeah so march 30 uh april 6 13 and 20 and maybe a little other thing that's coming up as well. A little other confirmed thing.

A little something else in there. Of course, the drunk cast is a plan as well on the final night of the festival, which is the 21st. So heaps of fun coming up. Go, if you want an early bird ticket season pass, get on there now. There's a limited amount of them that will get you a discounted price to see all of those shows. Mm-hmm. So get on that. Very exciting.

Yeah. On sale now. Can't wait. You would have heard them on the feed before. They are always, dare I say it, legendary month of shows. They are fucking great. Yeah. They are.

Like, it's seriously a thing where I get impressed by ourselves. Yeah, true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, fuck. We're actually pretty good at this. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, fuck, we're actually pretty good at this. Yeah, yeah. They're always heaps of fun. Heaps of fun.

So, yeah, get on that little DundunClub.com. And, of course, after that, we go into a little place called Koh Samui for the final international podcast festival from that island. So, a tiny bit of news, which is the people at the Ozo, Ozo Chuing Samui Resort, which is the host of the podcast festival. They're giving us a great deal until mid-January. So what you need to do is go to our website, littledumbdumbclub.com slash kosamui, and you'll find all the details of that. You'll find the links on how to get your discounted accommodation there.

You'll also find a link to a uh what should we say someone so an aware listener that uh works at a travel company yes so if you want to if you want to help out an aware person yeah yeah do go and do that and also they'll give you a good deal for it as well yeah so there's that plus uh a little bit of tiny bit of sub news off the back of that is the the people at the ozo have come to us and gone, you know what, apart from just that festival, because you guys come over and, you know, rip it up during the podcast festival, if your listeners want to come over any other time of year, because we've heard a lot of feedback from people that have now gone to Koh Samui off the back of us,

going on and on and on about it, But haven't gone during the podcast festival. Yeah. Have then gone after us. But they've heard of the Ozo. Yeah, yeah. So now there is a deal for you guys that don't even go during the podcast festival. If you want to go outside of the podcast festival and you follow the link, we'll put up all the details on the website as well.

But you can go year round and use the code DUMDUM and get... Let's not... This is great. If now no one comes to the podcast festival because they're like wow i can get a deal on a com and not have to watch these cunts every night i'm in i'll just go in august thanks yeah well look up to you but i'd like to think i'd like to think that you would come to see us you'd prefer to do that you wouldn't you wouldn't arrive the day after this could be a brutal wake-up call for us yeah uh but that's cool of them as we're

speaking now there was someone in our aware group on facebook that is there right now and and i put as a as a general question does anyone in here know anything about like where to go in kosamui and i'm like i'll take it from here guys yeah um so yeah if you want to go there uh if you're one of these people that we've heard to hit us up and gone oh yeah we're going but we couldn't go at your time so we're gonna go another time but yeah let us know and we'll go to all the favourite places you guys have got, whatever. You can go year round. Yep.

So that's pretty cool. Very nice of the Ozo, but, yeah. We should try and register. Can you, because we've got littledumbdumbclub.com slash kosamui. Is kosamui.com.au taken? Oh. That would be great if we swept in because then that would mean, and I think you'd enjoy this a lot, you could have the email address,

carl at kosamui.com.au. Not a bad idea. That would be pretty fucking great. Yeah, that's a good idea. I'm going to check that right now as we speak. It's funny because as soon as I type the letter K, it comes up as the suggestion of Kosamui webcam on YouTube. Great.

Because that's what I'm usually looking for. Yeah, Ku Klux Klan. And then what's the third one? Kosamui.com.au. Surely that wouldn't be taken. I'll be surprised if that's taken. Yeah, it seems a little weird that anyone would want that. Until now.

Apart from two fuckheads. Yes. This is so good if we get email addresses that are Tommy and Carl at kosamui.com.au. That's so good. Yeah, it is. That means it's available, doesn't it? I think so. That means bookmarked.

Yeah, maybe. I think there are things. We'll look into this. We'll get our web guide to look into it. Because there are resources where you can look at how much it's going to cost you to buy it or whatever yeah yeah yeah yeah fuck yeah that would be so great yeah and then and then if we do an international podcast festival in another country we're still just running it through kosamui.com.au yeah great great just everything we do from now on maryborough podcast get tickets at kosamui.com.au Yeah.

Yeah, I like that idea. I like the idea that someone Yeah, someone looks it up and goes fuck, I can't believe someone's already taken that and find out it's us. Yeah, yeah, that's sick.

Yep. The Thai government try and buy it off us. That would be fucking awesome. Yeah. Speaking of Mary Borough, by the way, my parents are really hassling me.

My parents really want us to do another podcast in Maryborough. Really? For some weird reason because they came to the one that we did and really enjoyed it. And I'm like, yeah, we're doing Samui again. Isn't that cool? And they're like, no, do Maryborough again.

Fuck. They're like the opposite of me. Yeah. You can't fucking win. Yeah. Yeah, because they've followed you around a bit. They've been to... They come to a lot of live shows.

They come to a lot of Melbourne stuff now. They come to most Melbourne things now. They come to the Mirabar. Have they ever been to an interstate one? I don't think that they have. I felt like they may have, but maybe not. There might have been one... No, I really don't think they have.

I don't think... It would only ever be if they were in town at the same time. I tried really hard to get them to come to – I really wanted them to come to the opera house, but they just didn't. Right, okay. They were like, yeah, we'll come next time. I'm like, oh, cool, that's a thing that you bank on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

Well, right, that might be too much of a jump I was going to say. I thought they'd been in to say maybe they could come to Koh Samui, but yeah. Well, they went to Koh Samui like a month after. I'm trying to say I thought they'd been in the state maybe they could come to Koh Samui but yeah I've brought my folks well they went to Koh Samui they went to Koh Samui like a month after I'm trying to get them to come to this one there you go

yeah see they should have used the code dum dum if they had done it now I know fuck yeah I want them to come I really want them to come to this

and they went to the Amari didn't they yeah yeah they stayed at the Amari at the sister in Phuket oh Phuket not in Koh Samui

no sorry they've stayed at the Amari in Samui before right like before we started having anything to do with Samui No sorry They've stayed at the Amari In Samui before Right Like before we Started having anything To do with them Right

But then they've stayed At the Amari recently In Phuket Right And yeah dad Dad basically just going around To all the staff They're going

Do you know my son And then he eventually Did find some Operations manager Or something Who had heard Through the grapevine Of the company

About us and what we do That's great Yeah So dad when we were Organ organizing it for this one he's like drop my name if you think it'll help i'm like i've already got the number one importer exporter of kosamui organizing it like i don't know i don't know what a fucking 70 year old man that this guy met once yeah he's gonna do yep totally and you've already got the guy the future owner of kosamui.com.au yes yes i can't wait for this this is gonna be so good great i'm gonna get rid of my old email i can just run everything through tommy tommy at kosamui.com.au that fucking hell that's good what a shame because when we were doing the negotiating for the kosamui international podcast festival

that would have looked so much better with that domain name yes yeah now it's like now that we've finished it the next thing we do we're negotiating as part of code and they're like are you a thai podcast that's what's awesome about this we finally get around to doing this in time for the last one that we do that's fuck this everything about this is perfect also we've got to remember we had that great idea months ago that we're going to go and do the radio outside broadcast the the Koh Samui public radio. Well, we want to go work on the radio station for a couple of days. Yeah, we've got to get on that. We've got to sort that out.

All right. Anyway. Let's get into business. So, the way we support ourselves, support this podcast, the way we keep the lights on at HQ is through patreon.com slash little dum-dum club. What happens is the kind souls out there

that believe that they can, you know, chuck us a few dollars here or there to keep the lights on, you do that, we get it and as a reward we give you all sorts of different things

depending on how much you give us. We give out a bonus episode every month, a bonus magazine that we spend a long time on every month. And you get your chance to have your name read out and become immortalized. Yeah. No one will ever forget you once I've read your name out at some stage. Yeah. Recorded for the ages. It's like the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Yeah. But for people that chuck in $5 to a podcast. Exactly. Yeah. Generations upon generations are going to be listening to this. Instead of, you know, like, you know, being the lead actor in the movie On the Waterfront, someone that's paying $6.90 a month to a podcast. So you think that's a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame just says the lead actor in On

the Waterfront? Yeah. Whoever that was. That would on the waterfront. Yeah. Whoever that was. That would be pretty fucking great. Yeah. That's kind of such a great backhanded compliment where they're like, we'll put you on here, guy from Titanic, but we're not going to bother to fucking remember your name

and put that on there. Yeah. Just a fake description of what you've done. Hot girl from a sitcom. There you go. Yeah. Post for a photo And fuck off

On the waterfront Marlon Brando Who do I remember that name? Yeah He has a star Yeah Yeah he's got a star Yeah

You can be just like him Sort of What do you have to do? Who decides that? It's all bullshit Right What do you mean it's all bullshit? You gotta pay for it You sound like you're spiteful About you having not decides that? It's all bullshit. Right. What do you mean it's all bullshit? You've got to pay for it.

You sound like you're spiteful about you having not gotten one. No, it's all bullshit, man. Nothing personal. It's just a popularity contest. It's so personal. Nothing personal. It literally is all bullshit. You pay for it?

Yeah. Really? Yes. I didn't know that. Yeah. Someone has got to pay for it and pay for it to be suggested and pushed forward and all that sort of stuff. No one's doing it out of the kindness of their heart right okay because this is what what you'll often see

is when a like a famous actor will get the walk of a star in the hall of fame it will coincide with them having a new movie out oh okay because yeah jack black just got one and he tenacious d just brought out a new album brought out a new album and went on tour and everything it's a bit like we had a few people hit us up during the week like, hey, the Australian Podcast Awards. You can nominate yourself. Guys, get in there. And you have to pay to be nominated.

No thanks. No thanks. And then you go, look, nothing against them. Or, you know, something against them, actually. Fuck them. Yeah. Anything where you've got to pay to nominate yourself as an awards thing. Because I used to be in graphic design and that was all like that.

You see the winners and it's like oh no you've got to pay 300 bucks to fucking enter and all this sort of stuff and that's that thing you know whatever who cares you know

whether it's right or wrong or whatever I think it's bullshit but that podcast awards like you've got to pay and then you go you look at their site and it's like

here's all the nominations it's like I've never fucking heard of any of them yeah yeah yeah so I mean you know we're too busy spending our Patreon money on just lavish purchases pissing it all down the drain

yeah we don't have time to be paying money to nominate ourselves in the podcast awards also i think it's so i mean i'm i'm pretty anti-award in terms of like who fucking cares especially when it's like and this is a very arrogant point of view. Here we go. But whenever I see awards given out by judges, I'm always like, I look at the judges and go, I fucking know more than you. Great. What the fuck do you know? Your assessment of that is correct.

Yes. It's very arrogant. I would pay to nominate us if you could nominate and you could choose the category and you also get to invent the category. So if we could nominate ourselves in the category of best references to 69ing or something like that i'd go fuck yeah let's get in i'm happily have that trophy on the mantelpiece i'd rather now that i'm saying that i know better than them maybe we should start up our own podcast awards that's pretty good yeah so you want someone else to be able to have the experience that you have yeah looking at you as

a judge and going i know more than this fucking idiot. But they'd be wrong. And we give ourselves an award every year, but, you know, just a Hall of Fame every year. We just keep entering the Hall of Fame every year. It's just so corrupt. Best podcast guest goes to my cat, Crunchy. She's overdue.

Yeah, yeah. She's been on a few times, kind of. I don't think she's ever meowed into the mic, but yeah. I think the mic has picked up some scratching a couple of times. Yeah, it counts. That technically counts. Great. Okay, so let's get into this. Each week we read out the names of some of our not-so-mysterious benefactors who subscribe

and support us financially. Award winners in their own right. Yes, yes. Everyone today is just a champion, just an absolute champion, a real legend. Yeah. So we have the unplanned title alternator. We're recording this while we're in Perth, the day before the Perth live show.

We brought the unplanned title alternator over at great expense, had to pay a whopping $6,900 in excess baggage fees to get it over here. That seems exorbitant. But I tell you what, seeing it come along the conveyor belt there with the big heavy, the big wide load sticker on it. I'll tell you what, it was a bit of a stress because there were so many unplanned title alternators being packed to bring over to Perth.

I picked up the wrong one a couple of times. It was a bit embarrassing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They all look pretty similar. A lot of the same models were being shipped over here for some reason. Yeah, and then an old Korean woman tried to take off with our one to sort of chase her out of the airport. Yeah.

Just embarrassing stuff. But we're here. We've got it all rigged up in your hotel room. We are here ready to do whatever number strikes our fancy. Yep. You know, we're in Perth, so we're recording this somewhere different to where we normally do it. so i think we should kind of run with that and do a different number you know do something we've never done before okay let's do five great let's go straight away

so first of all first cap off the rank thank you to patreon subscriber connor Newstead. For what? For best... Best first contributor this week. Yeah, there we go. There we go. And, you know, it was a really overcrowded field this year. Best Newstead. Best Newstead. This thing rides itself.

Newstead is a weird last name. What if we... Fuck, this is the new dream. What if we presented an awards? Now, that would be good. Oh, I'd love that. Yeah. That would be great if the Australian Podcast Awards, if you're listening, we're not going

to pay to nominate. I know we just bagged you. We will gladly accept your invitation to present an award at the thing. Yes, can we? Where we get up and we just bag it. Yeah. No, we won't bag it if we're on there. We'll become we? Where we get up and we just bag it. Yeah. No. We won't bag it if we're on there.

We'll become cowards and we'll eat our words. Yeah, exactly. So if you're listening, if you're from the Australian Podcast Awards and you didn't like us talking shit, get us in to present an award and we will gladly do a formal apology next week. We will retract everything we've said. We will eat humble pie. We will promote you. We'll present the comedy week. Yes. We will retract everything we've said. We will eat humble pie. We will promote you.

We'll present the comedy award. Yeah. Yeah. That would be fucking very, very good stuff. Yeah. I like that. What better representation is there of the Little Dumb Dumb Club than us elevating someone else above us?

Yeah. Great idea. I love this. And we'll present Connor with the best Newstead award While we're there Great

We sneak it in That's great We just go rogue And start giving out Our own awards We do a Dumb dumb awards In the middle of

The Australian podcast I shouldn't be saying this Because now they're not Going to get us to do it Just kidding We won't do that at all Everything that we've said That's bad

We didn't mean Everything we said good Is absolutely locked in Well thanks Connor connor thanks for inspiring this this great new idea in the in the in the dum-dum playbook yeah and congrats on the award yeah yep uh thanks thanks connor uh thanks connor thank you to patreon subscriber james lynch ah best lynch yeah fuck you haven't really tried with that one best best lynching you know that's James Lynch. Ah. Best Lynch. Yeah. Fuck. You haven't really tried with that one.

Best lynching. You know, it's wow. I mean, you know, it's not really that popular anymore. It's not really that common, but some real people giving it a real nudge this year. Yeah, if we fuck him up in this read, that is a lynching. We've lynched him. We're publicly right. Okay, we're giving – well, I mean, we just gave a bit of a public lynching to the Australian Podcast Awards in this read, that is a lynching. We've lynched him. We're publicly – right, okay. We're giving – well, I mean we just gave a bit of a public lynching to the Australian Podcast Awards in a way, you know,

which they're now scurrying to retract. Yeah. Yeah. James Lynch, that would mean that whenever he did anything, that could be described as very lynchian, you know, when you have a David Lynch. Oh, yeah. Do you reckon he's a – maybe he's a relation.

Yeah. You know, when you have a David Lynch. Oh, yeah. Do you reckon he's a, maybe he's a relation. Yeah. Maybe he's a super fucking wacko like him. I haven't got in on enough of the canon of David Lynch. You're a big fan. I just bought his book. I was going to bring it like over here and read some of it. I thought that's not really a going away read.

I don't think, I need something light. Yeah, right. I don't want to be reading about his fucked up life or whatever. I have a true crime book that I've nearly finished that has taken me months because I keep taking it when I go away and I'm like, I don't want to fucking, I don't want to read about this next to a pool. Yep. But yeah, hey, if you're related, you know, put in a word. Put in a word.

We'd love to have the grey man on here. Oh, right. Sorry, I thought you meant put in a word, get a word we'd love to have we'd love to have the grey man on here oh right sorry I thought you meant put in a word get us on Twin Peaks season 3 look happy for the relationship to go either way

if he wants to come on here if he wants to put us in his new project do you reckon he'd be let's get David Lynch to direct an episode of this podcast let's get him to direct

our next live show I was gonna say I don't reckon he'd be much of a much of a guest on this show like we're talking about fucking Judith Lucy's first episode I think this would break new ground I was going to say, I don't reckon he'd be much of a guest on this show. Like, we're talking about fucking Judith Lucy's first episode. I think this would break new ground.

I would love to get, for one of our live shows, we enlist an actual theatre director to direct it. You know, we go, we want to legitimise it. We want to be a, fuck the Australian Podcast Awards, we've outgrown them. We want to be nominated for a helpment for this, for one of our live podcasts. See, that's another example of fucked awards the helpman the helpman's yeah the green room awards all it's all it's all fucked man oh man it's so dumb it's uh whenever i see anyone like even when

i know people in comedy that win a helpman it's like what do you i mean it's all right for me to say but what do you fucking care well these people that are the judges don't even watch comedy yeah what do they fucking know I mean I will say I agree with you but I've been nominated for an award before and it is a very very nice feeling it's it's it doesn't matter it's stupid but it feels nice I will say this about you and that experience you were very much a person who went yeah fuck all these awards and then you got nominated and then it very quickly changed and then when person who went, yeah, fuck all these awards and then you got nominated and then it very quickly changed and then when you didn't win,

you went back. I went back, yeah. Oh no, and I knew that in the back of my head but it is still, there's no, you have a nice week where people just congratulate you all week and it feels good.

It's a nice feeling. And the experience of me being nominated for that, they forgot to come and see my show and I had to remind them to come and see me show and i had to i had to like remind them to come and see there you go and that's the only like it basically was me forcing my way into a nomination there you go but that doesn't change the fact that people say nice things to you about you being nominated and that feels nice well that that just goes to reinforce my point in my opinion where these supposed judges that know everything yeah fucking forgot to even go and see your show yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i don't know i don't trust

people but i don't know i mean i got i got nominated and i the when i got nominated it was like a at a thing that was announced by the great man barry humphries because it was like some anniversary year of the comedy festival and i got to bring bring along a hot date. So I took my dad. And my dad's a massive Barry Humphreys fan. And he got to meet Barry Humphreys. So if that's all I get out of it, then that's good. And did he grab your dad or anything like that? Did he grab my dad?

Yeah. What do you mean? Just asking. Let's explore this, Carl. I don't care. I'll do it. Is he a good bloke or not, Barry Humphreys? I don't know.

Yeah. I would have said no. Yeah. But, you know, whatever. Like, Yeah I would have said no Yeah But you know whatever Like generationally Like my dad You know my dad loves all that shit Oh yeah sure My dad loves Damien

Yeah I've got nothing bad To say about your dad I reckon Barry Humphries Is a shit cunt though I reckon he's a rotten bloke You say this But you know If he nominated you

For an award You'd walk back on it You'd be like I love this Barry Humphries guy. And then if you didn't win it, you'd be like, he is a cunt. I honestly reckon I wouldn't. I don't think I care enough. You'd refuse the award.

I'd love to do that. That would be pretty, yeah. I think that would be really cool. It was like Tom Gleeson won an award one year and I had a lot of respect for him because he won an award and he went, I'm not going. I don't want to do it. I don't care. And then they said, you get to make a speech in front of all these people. He went, oh, all right.

And then just teed off on everyone. Yeah, I was there. That was really funny. Right, right, right. He was like, it shouldn't be a panel of judges. It should be a machine that's up the back of every comedy festival show that measures the decibel rating of the laughs in the room. And then you have a scientific award for most funny show in the festival.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, look, fuck. It's such a weird thing to try and measure any of that sort of stuff. Big time. Yeah. It's weird. It's like I always quantify it to this thing.

I always think, you know, when you see someone in comedy that gets an award or gets this or whatever and they're not particularly funny, I just always think of like a panel of judges watching a 100-meter race and someone coming in last like three seconds slower than first and then going, no, that's the one we want. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're the one. Well, there are some sports like that, I guess, like the ones where you get scored by a panel. Yeah. I reckon that's not a real sport.

I'm going to say it's not a sport if you need a panel. Fencing is like that, isn't it? Fencing, diving, synchronized swimming. Is fencing? Fencing, don't you stab someone in the heart and then they're dead and then you win? Yeah, but then you get points. Do you?

Yeah. Fuck, that's dumb. You get points for contact or whatever. Well, that's a dumb sport. Yeah. And, yeah, the other thing. I guess boxing is like that as well, actually. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Boxing is like that. Boxing should just be last man standing. Yeah, totally. The thing I got nominated for also was like dumbest fucking idiot idea for a show that's produced by the person doing it. So it's like...

You know what I mean? It wasn't the main award. It's not like the best thing. It wasn't the main award. It was an alternative the best thing. It wasn't the main award. It was an alternative award to the main award. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To the point where they read it out. They read it out and then they read out my name

and my dad turns to me and goes, congratulations, what is it? Yeah. I was like, I'm not even 100% sure. You were up against probably, I don't remember, you can tell me, but you were up against people that weren't doing straight stand-ups per se yeah some different fruity ideas out there maybe it was yeah i was the closest thing to yeah and there was the show where i had a little book in it where people read along with it but it was still basically just a stand-up show so yeah it was it was me and then like a bunch of circus shit. Yeah. Yeah. You versus the Ringling Brothers, I think, wasn't it?

Yes. Yes. And, you know, I got picked at the post because I couldn't fit enough clowns into the car that I drove onto the stage. Weirdly enough, you actually got beaten by the Cirque du Soleil production of this podcast. Now, that is an ultimate goal. This becomes big enough where there's Cirque de Dum Dum. Would be incredible. How many great ideas are we going to have in one episode of

Talking Dum Dum? Fucking hell. A bunch of fucking 12 year old French boys climbing up a rope while a soundscape of our greatest hits plays over the speakers. Just people pretending to jump off this big cardboard west

gate ah yes into nets and stuff fucking incredible yeah god damn vegas if mgm if you want to host this thing in in vegas yeah onto it now yeah uh we went so i'll seek to slay the beatles show in vegas a few years ago we got absolutely fuck-eyed before. We got so fucking drunk. That was a great memory of which few memories I have from that night but it was a great time. That was such a good trip.

It was a great time. Yeah, we've had some fun. I want to go back to America with you, Carl. I've always had a very good time over there. That drive that we did across country,

I'd love to do that again. That was so fun. I should concentrate on the positives but my negative of that was it took... We didn't take our time. I'd love to do that again. That was so fun. I should concentrate on the positives, but my negative of that was we didn't take our time. I know. We drove all day, every day.

Yeah. So it was a bit of a shame. Thanks, James. James. Fucking hell. We got back to America where David Lynch lives. Yeah. Something.

Cross-country. That's very Lynchian. Yeah. You and I have a gig pretty soon. I know. Cross country. That's very Lynchian. Yeah. Thank you. You and I have a gig pretty soon. I know. I know. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Thomas McNo. Oh, now I heard Thomas and I thought my name's about to get read out.

Yeah, it wasn't though, was it? McNo, more like McYes. Left that for you. I will give you guys money. Yes. Very lovely. Not McEnroe, but McNo. McNo. Yeah. you guys money yes very lovely um not not mackinrow but mack no mack no yeah the real just like john mackinrow he's a real the real brat of patreon subscribers

swearing at us yeah throwing you throwing money at us yep yeah um i gotta say i gotta i got a lot of respect for anyone that that goes by thomas i think that's a confident man that does that right you know just letting the whole thing hang out there It's like anyone You know William Anyone that just lets the full thing Yeah

Fly out there And you like that I do like it Yeah I have to say I'll go the opposite way You hate it I like the informal

Okay I like Billy I like Tommy You know Thank you Not personally But yeah As a thing Right As a concept But yeah, as a thing.

Right, as a concept. You like me as a concept. Yes. Not specifically. You would like me more if I was just like the computer in a space odyssey. You know, I'm not like a physical representation. I'm just kind of an embodiment. T-O-M.

I'm just kind of... Yeah. I don't think so, Carl. 2069. And it's Nick Capper doing the music. That'll do. Thanks, Thomas. Thanks, Thomas.

Thank you to Patreon subscriber. Wow, this is, well, I'll just say the name. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Mitchell Johnson. And I assume it's not the Australian fast bowling quick in cricket. Why do you assume that? Because that would be crazy. Hey, off the back of the star of La Femme, Nikita. Well, you assume that? Because that would be crazy Hey Hey Off the back of The star of La Femme Nikita

Well you know what The star of La Femme Nikita With all those Hollywood bucks Hasn't turned up on this fucking thing Has she? Interesting Maybe But maybe she's in there

Under a pseudonym Oh you're right She just didn't want I mean she contacted us Yeah She contacted you Through a pseudonym Yep

You know All her social media now Is a pseudonym Maybe she didn social media now is a pseudonym. Maybe she didn't want us blowing up her spot. This might be her now. Yeah. Mitchell Johnson. What a great way to avoid detection.

All right. Well, Mitchell Johnson, if that is your real name, you looked mighty tidy in that TV show. Hell yes. Can't wait to hear about these brassieres you're selling. Well, if it is the real Mitchell Johnson, happy to talk about whatever cricket-related bullshit you're flogging. Mm-hmm.

And maybe you're selling a new box. Yep. Yeah. Great. So we have bras and boxes. Yeah, the cricket equivalent of lingerie. Right. Yeah.

That's cricket lingerie right there, a box. Except it does the opposite. It's like make sure no one touches your genitals. Yes. Instead of encouraging it. Yeah, it's the opposite of the bra in every single way. Every single, the perfect opposite. The perfect foil to the bra.

Mitchell Johnson. So, look, I'm going to rule it out. It can't be the Mitchell Johnson. It can't be. Well, let us know. Yeah. Let us know. You know, maybe the Mitchell Johnson. It can't be. Well, let us know. Yeah. Let us know. You know, maybe he's played backyard cricket a couple times. I'd accept that.

Yeah. I'd gladly accept that. We honestly have no time. Let's go. Last one. Whatever we were going to do, we're going to have to cut it short. Sorry, guys. Yeah.

Thank you to Patreon subscriber. Okay. What? Wow. All right. What do you got? This is interesting. This is interesting. Right. I know we? Wow. All right. What do you got? This is interesting. This is interesting.

I know we're on a tight schedule. We're on borrowed time, Tommy. We're on borrowed time, but I mean, I've got to ask some questions. What's raised your eyebrows here? Yeah, right. Well, listen to this. Consider what we've been talking about and then listen to this. Okay.

Is this a bizarre coincidence? Is this going to be the first bizarre coincidence we've ever had on the pod? I don't believe in coincidences, Tommy. This was meant to be. So, this, look, just calm down and listen. That's sorry. This is business. This person hasn't left a name.

Okay. That's strange. There's no name. So, all I can do is read out the email address. Okay. Right. So, thank you to comedy at kosamui.com's strange. There's no name. So all I can do is read out the email address. Okay. Right. So thank you to comedy at kosamui.com.au.

So the domain is taken. The domain is parked. I don't know. Maybe they've just parked that email address. I don't know. Well, no, but this is good because we're saying we want to buy the domain. We now have a contact in there. Oh, yeah. We can hit up comedy at kosamui.com.au.

Yeah. And make an offer. Great. Make an offer of $69. Maybe say you call off your – yeah, because they're actually subscribing $69 a month. Oh, right. So we just offer that back to them. We just go, let's call it quits.

Let's wipe the slate clean. Yeah, let's call it even. Let's clear the ledger. Yeah. Nice, nice. We've got an in. Very encouraging. Very, very good.

Well, what a jam-packed, action-y episode. So much going on. We've got an in very encouraging very very good well what a jam-packed action actiony so much going on we got a circuit dum-dum we've got us hosting or presenting an award at the australian uh podcast awards we've got me fighting barry humphries to the death yes yes heaps of stuff um all right guys we gotta go we gotta go uh thanks for your support thanks to those of you who chip in on the Patreon. We really appreciate it. LittleDumbDumbClub.com for the Melbourne tickets, for the Koh Samui information.

Thanks for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mates.