The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 427 - Dave Thornton & Ben Lomas

Episode Date: December 12, 2018

Who needs birthing classes when you've got Super Dads DAVE THORNTON and BEN LOMAS? Two of our faves join us this week to dissect the big news of Karl's impending fatherhood. We cover it all: what to expect from the birth itself, being a full-time dad, godparents and most importantly: the name. Don't forget, we have a heap of live shows coming up: MELBOURNE! Our Orphans Christmas show is back! Sunday December 23, 8pm.CANBERRA! We're back for one night only. March 23, 5pm. MELBOURNE! We're doing another month of huge shows at the Comedy Festival. Saturday March 30, April 6, April 13 & April 20, 4:30pm. We're also doing an extra show: Late Night Dum Dum. Friday April 5, 11:55pm. For tickets, merchandise, links to our Patreon and heaps of other stuff, head to our website: littledumdumclub.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on My Little Dum Dum Club, a brand new ep with Ben Lomas and Dave Thornton. Lots of fun in this one. We've got to tell you about a couple of things that are coming up pretty soon. We've got our Christmas show happening December the 23rd, but it's all sold out. We may have a bit of standing room up the back if you want to turn up and have a crack on the door. Yep. What do you reckon about that idea? Totally do that.

Then we have March the 23rd. We are in Canberra doing a live pod, and I am also doing my solo show on that same night. Then we have a month of shows at the Melbourne Comedy Festival, March the 30th, April the 6th, April the 13th, April the 20th, Saturday afternoons, 4.30 p.m. All the biggest guests going around. There's a ticket that you can get that is going to get you into all of those

for a cheaper price. We're also doing a late night show on Friday the 5th of April, just before midnight. That's going to be heaps of fun. Plus we do a drunk cast right at the end on the final Sunday. You can get all the details of how to get entry into the drunk cast on our website and how to get all those tickets on our website. So go and do all that sort of bullshit that way. Plus, we might have another little live one popping up as well very soon.

Yeah, we've got a couple of little things to talk about in the back end of the show. But until then, enjoy this new episode with Dave Thornton and Ben Lomas. No mess. Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo and with me as always, the other half of the show, Big Daddy Carl Chandler. G'day, dickhead.

Hey, I know we haven't done this for a while, but I've got a little quick thing to say before we bring the guests in. Great. Something that got relayed to me about a listener of the show who moved overseas recently and is a big fan of this and had a T-shirt that he'd bought at a live gig. Yep. And he moves into his new place overseas, gets himself set up, has the T-shirt pinned on his wall as a little memento of home.

In the rumpus room? In the rumpus room, yep. And he goes out first weekend on the town. This is overseas. He's living in another country now. Picks up a girl, brings her home. She sees the shirt. Oh, you're aware.

Oh, wow. How good's that? Wow, that's great. Good shit. What country? Canada. Fucking hell. Yeah.

That's two more people that were at our Canadian gig that we did that time, I think. Yeah, close to. Fuck, we didn't. Yeah, so we got, I mean, we got, gig that we did that time, I think. Yeah, close to. Fuck, wasn't it? Yeah, so we got, I mean, we got, yeah, we know of, I mean, I wonder if she came to that gig. I don't know what part of Canada this is in. This has also been told to me not by the guy in Canada, but by a friend of the guy in Canada.

Right. So the Canada guy's probably listening. He's probably rapt to hear his sex ploys being relayed through a friend. Oh, I'll tell you who'd be less rapped, the girl, to hear this story. Yeah, outed as a Dum Dum fan. As a Dum Dum root rat. By the way, Canada people, root rat is a very complimentary term. Yes, yes, the highest compliment.

It's just below Prime Minister. Yes, yes. Well, speaking of Dum Dum root rats, we've got two of them in here today. Proven, proven. Back into the little dum-dum club, Dave Thornton and Ben Lomas. Yay! Root rats are here! Comedy babies!

We got Thorno to be funny and Lomas to warm up for him. Is that what's happening here? We did Lomas. We've been sitting here for like 45 minutes. And Lomas has been keeping it going. Oh, yeah. He's been talking now that we've put the on switch on. I don't think we'll hear from him again. But anyway.

I'll just do mine. To be honest, I'm glad you guys talked at the top because I was chowing down on minties. And then now I've swallowed them. I'm up for it. And you're waiting for him to hit the applause sign. Yeah, I get it. Go fuck yourself.

Hey, that's not going to warm us up. That is the opposite. It's the greatest gig in the world. Yeah, I get it. Go fuck yourself. Hey, that's not going to warm us up. That is the opposite. It's the greatest gig in the world. Comedy babies. Comedy babies. Hello, comedy babies.

Well, given the news of last episode, which is... Oh, the root rat. Yeah. The recent, the recent, the triple R.

The recent root rat. If this was Wild West times, we'd be referring to you as the bareback kid right now. Check out this thing called missionary. Missionary successful. No, completed.

Oh, boy. Oh, God. I can see how you got her, you silver tongue girl. We're doing something exciting tonight. So the news is, if you didn't listen last week, I am to be a father. And so we thought we'd get on two of the biggest comedy daddies in the scene.

Yeah, so we knew we were going to have a lot to talk about off the back of last week, and we've assembled what we consider to be the A-team for this a team for this the absolute yeah the best we could get that weren't busy yes we're at the front of Ben and my kids daycare yeah at 3 we'll have to leave yes I'm say hello to Dave O'Neill's kid in the car on the way past. So, hey, no, but look, it's not a thing that I obviously talked about too early in the piece. This is a pretty late announcement. This is super late.

Yeah. But you, this is the reason I super wanted you to be part of this, Lomas, because you are the one person that for years has just been on me. On me. When are you going to have a kid? Just because this is your usual conversation. My kids are fucked. I'm not getting any sleep.

I fucking want to kill myself. When are you going to have a kid? You should have a kid. You should have a kid. I think it's specifically not that he wants you to have a kid. He wants you to have a kid on the off chance that it makes your life

as difficult as his. Oh, totally. The worst result for Lomas is yours comes out and it's just a dream. Yes. Sleeping perfectly, no issues whatsoever. It probably will be. It'll be probably one of those shitty kids that sleeps, that eats when it's told to eat, and then you'll just be able to continue living your life.

Well, to be honest, I think we all read the play that we're just hoping that Carl Chandler's genetics come back to haunt him. That's what we're just heading for. Look, it could look beautiful or it could take after my wife. So, you know. Wow. At the end of the month, beautiful. Wow.

What's wrong with you? A kid and a divorce. This is the year for it. What, in 2019? It's going to be huge. It's happening. But even then, when I got told, so I heard through Dilrug. So Dilrug or I.

I was going to say, because I said it on the live podcast. I then went overseas. I didn't sort of mention it to anyone else. I just went overseas. And then I slowly, I heard from a couple of people, but mainly you. I get a phone call from Ben Lomas in Thailand. I'm like, I'm going to take this. Very excited Ben Lomas. But it was when

I found out, the pure joy that overcame my whole body was just like finally, finally it's happening. And to be honest, I'm very happy for you. Oh, you sounded very happy on the phone. I'm as well and I know this is

biologically impossible but I hope it's a Thai kid. I hope for your sake. That's why I was over in Thailand to cut ties with the old family. Well, I hope for your sake

even if you're a partner and you never want this happening but if she is having an affair with someone else but you find out it's a Thai local

you'd be like I can't stay mad at you. Very charming. It's like the other ones. We have more in common than I thought. We're both going to Koh Samui. Yay! Oh, my God.

I could just head over for child support. I'm making money. This is going to be great. It'd be sort of like if I found out she'd done it with some bloke over there, it'd be like me paying for the plane trip. It's sort of like IVF, I guess? You're sort of paying for everything. Nothing like IVF.

I'm not sure if you know how that works. I'm agreeing, but that's only because I know literally nothing about how IVF actually works. So that's the position that allows me to go, yes, it does sound like that's IVF. You get IVF from Jetstar, don't you? I don't know how it works. Not included.

Not included. You have to pay extra on the flight. And it's jacked up as well. It's way more expensive. But what's the week? So what's the last couple of weeks been like for you with people kind of finding out and messaging you? Because I think you're someone that's perhaps not super comfortable with getting a lot of congratulatory and that sort of stuff.

Yeah, but I haven't told really anyone. I've been telling a lot of people. I know a lot of comics know from it being said at a show. Well, I'm not super aware of that. I've been away. So I only got back a couple of days ago and so I saw people at Spleen the other night and some people were, you know,

congratulating. We might as well just let you know because Lama's been doing more on Ninja Warrior or the audience has not. At 2.30 in the morning, who knows Carl Chandler?

Fuck off, mate. Anyway. But as we're recording this is when the episode is actually, last week's episode is coming out. Yes. Yes. So we're recording that right now. It is actually, last week's episode is coming out. Yes, yes.

Yeah, we're recording that right now. It's been up for a few hours. It's been out for a couple of hours. So just as I walked in here, I got my first private, I got the first private message on Instagram. Okay, right. A chosen platform. Yes, a congratulations on Instagram.

And I particularly enjoyed it because it was a congratulations from someone who lives in Bangkok. Very nice. Big congrats from the mother country straight away. Excellent. That's great.

That's great. Because, and by the way, before you ask, how did you know they're from Bangkok? Their name is Bangkok Betty or something.

Why do you follow this account? When you follow Dum Dum on this, I follow back. Oh, you follow back. Right, right, right. Yeah, no, that's how I do it on social media. Yeah, yeah. Talk us through how you do anything. I can't talk.

I don't know. I obviously don't know what the protocol is. I've never had a child. I've never announced that I'm having a child. But, yeah, I do think you need to think about how you respond to people congratulating you because Dilrub told me that he found out and he sent you a very nice message on Facebook and you just sent back the Facebook thumb.

Which, look, not to tell you business, proceed however you want. I mean, I think that might cause some issues if that's just going to be your go-to response to people. Thanks, mate. It's so amazing news. So happy for you and whatever her name is. Thumbs up. Better than eggplant emoji.

I'm fucking very happy with that. I thought, oh, here we go. It's going to be like, and then I said, fuck up. I'm happy with a thumbs up. I don't have a problem with this story. I think some people view the thumb as a fuck up cunt. I view the thumb as an act of aggression. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I just started using it. I take offense to the thumb. I was surprised Carl didn't give that to the celebrant at his wedding. I just assumed that was the normal response for Carl Chandler. Looked up from his phone, just showed him the thumb. I beat them five minutes before you gave him the light. Yeah, wrap it up, mate. Just wrap it up.

Yeah, are you, because Labor first time as well can go for hours. Like, Freddie, my first was 14-hour labour. Mine was 32. Really? 32 hours late. 32. Are you going to give the light? Like, are you...

If we go into the Spleen General Hospital, sure. That's the most open I've seen of an open spot. That is... So, the right question is, have you already started birthing classes? No. That's the most open I've seen of an open spot. That is. Jeez. Oh, my God. The right question is, have you already started birthing classes? No. Oh, can I please come?

It's going to be because the people you get matched up with. Oh, mate, it is insane. Oh, no. You get matched up with people. Yeah, you've got to match up with other couples, and you've got to talk about it like you care. Should I just go for a walk for 45 minutes? I feel like I've got less to offer this episode than in any other. One of the ones I went to was

North Fitzroy. By the way, just so you know, I've missed a couple of these things because I'll get a message from my wife who'll go oh yeah, I've got this like birthing class or whatever. It's on in an hour. And I'm like I'm at work. Did you want to give me any more notice

than that oh can't you make it no okay no worries see you tonight she doesn't want you there yeah she hasn't been she hasn't been letting me know about any of this stuff they probably everyone else she's some like single mother doing it tough and she kind of likes how that feels but i remember the one i went to it was I feel more supported if Carl's not here But I went to one The one like I went to a couple And there was this guy at the front row And they show a video

Like the actual birth And it's all on right And the woman's screaming And the baby's popping out And then she pauses And she goes Fellas, what do you think the woman needs right now? And this guy at the front row

Just turns around Looks at us and goes Earplugs, am I you think the woman needs right now? And this guy at the front row just turns around, looks at us and goes, earplugs, am I right? And all of us were like, he's still in gear. What is wrong with you? This is true. I had, well, of course it's true, my second daughter was born two weeks ago. Congratulations.

Thank you, mate. Hey, Dave. Yeah, blue thumbs up. Just put in the thumbs up. Wait, was it even the big, was it the big thumbs up or was it just the fresh press? It is the automatic, the one that's right next to the text button, yeah. But, and this is where you could come into play, Das. We, and the birthing suite was actually quite quick in the relative scheme of things, three hours.

And then afterwards, my little two-year-old came through to visit the new one, whatever. But then I had to distract her and was walking around the ward because she was just being a nuisance in the actual birthing suite and then this guy uh he was pacing up and down and he kind of locks eyes and goes hey how's that hair going and i was like oh yeah i'm good thanks oh is everything fine yeah no just had a kid how about you and he goes oh this is my best mate's wife in there and he goes my best mate texts me saying oh it's happening now it's their first kid and i was like i have to be here what and i was like what and he said yeah i have to be here uh because you know just to support him and then he goes and i said and then it kind of got a bit awkward i went oh look i've got to go because she's i don't know i think we're too old to go

the tour or something and then he was like yeah yeah i've got to go back in and i'll let you have to go back in wow he was going in the actual birthing suite. The best mate was at his wife's. The best mate. The best mate was at his mate's. The best mate sounds like he's the real dad. With his best mate. Obviously, the couple were in there waiting for their first child to arrive.

And the best mate is in the end. And he turns up going, you've got to have your mates here. And how do you think that relates to me and Carl? I just think it's a good idea. But the question is, why have one mate when you can have all your mates? Why have one mate?

We're announcing it today, ladies and gentlemen. This is amazing. Just Milan in scrubs carrying in a tray of shots. Trank, Trank, Trank.

We're all getting epidurals because my last paid for it I'll ask her to put it off for another month so we can sell enough tickets Yeah, this delay in the announcement to the last minute has really bitten you in the arse now Oh no, Kappa's going to pick up a midwife I hate the smell of a hospital No, Kappa's going to pick up a midwife. I hate the smell of a hospital, particularly near the cabins here.

She doesn't need the heavy gas, you just put Kappa next to her. Oh, no. No. Well, the good news is she's knocked out, but so is the surgeon. Just Kappa looking at the placenta. Are you going to finish that? Just count backwards from ten. Ten, nine. What comes after that, anyone?

Noxie sleeping in the corner. I've got a room. I've got a room. Oh, Christ. Wow, this thing's going to be fun. It's going to be so much fun. I don't know what you've been complaining about, Lomas. This sounds awesome.

This is what I've been thinking about a lot in the last two weeks, is the fucking bizarre situation that your child will be in one day where it can listen back to all of this shit. I know. It's just show and tell. Her first show and tell in school. Her? Yeah, I reckon it's a her. That's what you think too, isn't. Her first show and tell in school. Her? Yeah. Yeah, I reckon it's a her.

That's what you think too, isn't it? Yeah, it's my suspicion. Yeah, yeah. And names? Names? I do say that our generation, dementia will kick in real quick just thanks to, like, lifelong drinking and partying and God knows what else is in our system.

So, you know, I mean, at your age now, by the time they're 10, you'll be 75. And then she'll be listening back. What have I got on you, three years? What a sweet three years. It's a huge three years. You look like you're in a retirement home already. You've got the full-on pedo garb on.

Names, you did say names. Yes, whoa, whoa, whoa. Names. You did say names. Yes, I think it should be Carmody. Just Carmody. C-A-R-M-D-I-E. Carmody. That's Carm-D. Or that one.

Have you got names? You sound like fucking Brett Blige. You workshopped anything? Carmody is a girl's name, though. C-A-R-M-O-D-Y. M-O-D, yep. Oh, M-O-D, yep. Oh, he's considering it. Oh, he's...

No, no, no, no, no. How much would it cost? How much... How much would it cost? Yeah, how much... If someone gave you $100,000... $100,000? Yeah.

To name your child... For the branding. For the branding. Oh, that's pretty good. Carmody Chandler. People sell like their wedding photos and stuff to the gossip mags, you know. You could sell your child name to a company. Would you do it for 100 grand?

Imagine for all the dum-dum fans. Yeah, all chipped in. The new Patreon level. It's a stretch goal. You get to name Carl's kid if we get this amount of money. Mind you, by the sounds of things, your partner's been like for the birthing classes, you won't be there for the delivery anyway.

She'll be filling out the paperwork. Can you make it? Can you make it? No, no. I think I'm all right. I think I'm all right that month. Yeah. So you're going to be there for the birth.

You're clearly going to be there. Are you going to catch the baby? Is that what happens? Yeah. Yeah. I caught mine at home in the bathroom. Right. So.

I'll probably. Can we do it around at your place then? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Rent's pretty cheap. So, I'll probably, can we do it around your place then? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Rent's pretty cheap. Names,

we have only just started looking at names, which of course, if you've decided not to know the gender straight away, then you've got to

think of two sets. Are you doing a family tradition because your partner's Italian? Do you then name it after her dad? Daslo, Daslo Chandler.

Daslo. Daslo Chandler. Daslo. Yeah, so we're only just starting to look at names, girls and boys, right now. Now, this is genuinely concerning. My wife has suggested twice this name. Tom. Yes!

Yes! It's a good name. And I'm like, are you fucking listening to yourself? Tommy Chandler. And she's like, what? And I'm like, what do you mean what? It doesn't have to be Tommy. I'm going to have to insist that it not be Tommy.

She's saying Tom. I cannot do that. I cannot live the rest of my life. Yes, you can. I cannot continue to do a podcast with my child named after my co-host. It's not named after me, though. No. It's got the same name.

That's offensive to me that I register so little in her life that that wouldn't even cross her mind that she's naming the kid after me. She probably doesn't even know Darselo's name. Yeah. Does she know I exist? Do you talk about me with her? Yeah, the little dum-dum club

with Greg. What do you tell her you're doing when you come around here? Just going out for smokes. You know that little hand puppet that I see in all your promo photos? You've been drilling with doll? She thinks he's just talking to himself

I used to go home one day and go You know my name's not David Strasman, David Or her friends are like Yeah, he's off to Thailand with his puppet Oh God, he's on the phone to his mate again But are you going to go Because your wife didn't take your name So are you going to go hyphenated last name?

I did ask her that I went oh what's the deal because I sounded like you had a meeting about it no but I was like well we hadn't talked about it because she said

when we got married she went oh what do I do with my name I'm like you can do whatever you want very progressive of you such a feminist yeah I'm pretty cool

she missed out on all those land rights in America is there something whiter than a white knight because I think I'm that. So, yeah. So, she... Yeah, yeah.

Hashtag feminism. Hashtag definitely not that guy. So, I said, what do you want to do? She's like, oh, okay, I guess. I can take your name if you want. I said, no, no, no. Leave your name. Like, I don't mind at all.

It's whatever you want to do. I kind of find that that's a weird tradition to take someone else's last name. So she's like, okay, well, I'll just do that. And then I said, well, what about this child? Oh, definitely your name. She's definitely taking your surname. I'm like, not a hyphenated name. Oh, no, that would be worse.

Hyphenated names are weird, though. Yeah, yeah, and I agree. Like, I'd rather it be her last name than a hyphenated last name. Yeah, that's a shame, though, that she wants that, because, like, no offence to you, but her surname is Wicked. What's her surname? Wicked. I just said it.

Don't say her name. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's Italian. Wicked. Yeah, there it is. Her surname is really good She's the real deal Italian Unlike you

Yes exactly She's more La Paquetta Than Pizza Hut Yes exactly Is La Paquetta the real deal? I guess in terms of the name More than Pizza Hut Sure sure

It's a fine line Well put it this way Because she's always like Oh I'm Italian I'm like cool And remind me what province You were born in Oh Malvern

Oh it must be nice This time of year over there How will the olive grow Cool. And remind me what province you were born in. Oh, Malvern. Oh, it must be nice this time of year over there. How are the olive groves? Yeah, amazing. I'm picking the grapes. Back to your original point, and this may not surprise you in Brunswick, but our neighbours, they've gone the, of course, his partner didn't take his name,

but their kids have got each of their last names. So as in, sorry, the boy, his last name is his father's. And they didn't do it by gender lines. They're just the first born was like his last name. Then they're like, oh, that's a bit unfair. So the youngest one now is her last name. Interesting. That's a nightmare. Like going out for drinks.

It's an absolute nightmare. It hasn't fixed the problem. Treating it like going out for drinks. You get the cab and then I'll get the first round. Yeah, yeah. We split it down the middle. We split it down the out for drinks. You get the cab and then I'll get the first round. Yeah, yeah. We split it down the middle. We split it down the middle. We're going Dutch on this one, guys. Because at some stage you're going to go, oh, I got the bad one.

You know? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. No, no, kid. Oh, the kid. Yeah. But also it is a bit weird, isn't it? Because you don't know further down the track.

But like even in high school, you'd be like, what happened between your parents? Yeah. It's a weird separation of I don't talk to dad anymore no no i'm still living the same yeah or you're not related like you you're half sister half brother kind of thing sure there could be that as well like there's a lot of confusion i think comedy comedy starting to work it's starting to come around to that name you know that my last name isn't comedy right no but i feel this child should be right right right okay so change his last name i choose its last name and first name.

Yeah, 100%. All right, sure. But my partner said our kids can have my last name only because she carried the baby for nine months and when the baby comes out, they've got a connection because you just stand there like a fuckwit and go, what am I supposed to do? But if it's got your surname,

at least you have some connection with what is just a, you know, sucking mess. Right. Sucking mess. know, sucking mess. Right. Sucking mess. Well, they come. Now that's a name. You know, as soon as the baby arrives, you know, your life does change for the better.

But see, that's the thing. Like you go through the names and that's, you know, that old trick of going, oh, I can't name it this because I don't like this person or this person. Can't name it after names. That's a point that Adam Knox raised in last week's episode. Yeah. The list of names, I mean, there is such a huge list of names for you that you can't

name it. Why not? Based on open micers that you don't like. Anyone in comedy. Basically anyone in comedy. I can't do it. I've got to say, I've been really turning it over in my head the last few minutes. That is a lot of people.

Tom Chandler, I am really, really into. I'm loving it. There is absolutely zero chance. If we raise $100,000, Tom Chandler. Tom Chandler. No, if it's $100,000, it's got to be a comedy. No, $100,000 to just look at my kid forever and go, fuck. What do you mean, fuck?

$100,000, you buy them a house as soon as they're born. I was going to say, $100,000, would you think you just put that in a bank, interest rates hit, to the uni or the travel or whatever they could do once they go out of school? Think about your child, mate. I don't need $100,000. I've got a podcast. I've got half a podcast.

$100,000 and then that kid will be able to live off you for a very long time and what could be more appropriate than a child that is married? Yeah. He was born a trust fund baby. I'm starting to feel like this is my son. I sue you for custody. He's got more in common with me, let's be honest. Yeah, you sue me for custody.

Can I borrow some money so I can get some lawyers so I can sue you? Oh, man. But what, so, yeah, are you, and I know you probably don't want to reveal the actual shortlist, but what's been struck off the list, does that mean that you're having to go with your more, like, are people going to think you're some, like, you know, crazy hipster parent just because you've given it a weird name

when really the only reason is this was all that was left? These were the only letters left. It got down to that point. Yeah. Husey comedy, that's off the list. Stop thinking my last name's comedy, by the way. I know. Riffing comedy.

You missed the comedy, mate. It's a compliment. When I think you,iffing comedy. You missed the comedy, mate. It's a compliment. When I think you, I think comedy. There's other words to start with to see we could go with, but let's say comedy. Guys, it's only my middle name that's comedy. Oh, Mr Comedy. Mrs Comedy or Miss Comedy.

We don't know. We've got a couple of girls' names. We just keep thinking it's've got, you know what, we've got a couple of girls' names. We just keep thinking it's going to be a girl. So we've got a couple of girls' names and we don't have any boys' names at the moment. That's great. I can't wait for, congratulations, Mr Chandler. It's a healthy baby boy. Ah, fuck.

Yeah. Now we have to call it Tom. Oh, well, it's a boy called Genevieve. All right. Whatever. That's not the name. Interesting. It's the. All right, whatever. That's not the name. Interesting, it's the Gen Fricker. That's not the name.

Have you crossed anything off the list? Yes, Tom. I'm not into this. I'm going to message you once I'm working on it. Don't. Okay, Tom's off the list. What else is off the list? What?

That's just me naming all the people I don't like in comedy. Bingo! How about we say the names? You can't say you're not going to name it Tom and then say that you're only crossing names off of people you don't like, okay? I'm right here. No, look, for whatever reason, we're not consciously doing this and going, oh, here's all the girls' names and no boys' names,

but we haven't really talked about any boys names have you talked about because we had to overcome this hurdle we realised the first name we thought we'd nailed but then middle names because middle names

are that honorary thing where our first child she got the double barrelled of both our maternal grandmothers right so it's just so you weren't expecting a second well this is the thing

the second one we just haven't thought it through because then you think it could be a boy whatever and then now nicky's like well we shouldn't really give the second one a middle name we kind of used it because we can't our mothers both have long names and then you're just in this weird world of what the fuck are we are we not doing it because we've given the other one a double-barreled one if we give this one this one none, she's just waiting to have a drug addiction later on. You never cared about me. Shut up, Tom.

One thing I did suggest, which didn't go down well, which was, I won't say her name, but my wife's name. I said, what if we have a daughter and we call her after you, but just call her da-da-da,

Junior? No. Girls don't do that. Girls don't do it. How about Carlotta? No. He's done it Girls don't do that. Girls don't do that. Girls don't do it. How about Carlotta? No. No. He's done it again.

Carlotta Chandler. Carlotta. Comedy. Even it reads a lot. Carlotta Chandler. Carlotta Chandler. I like that. But it doesn't have to have meaning

because with my daughter, we didn't have a middle name and then like two weeks went past and we were sitting outside and it was the lunar eclipse and then we both looked outside and it was the Luna Eclipse and then we both looked up and went, Luna's a good name. Okay, lock it in. And that was it.

That was it. Just looking around. Third kid, floor low mass. Lucky you didn't walk out in a bird shit in your face. Hey, Tommy, when you were making up your name was your middle name Giuseppe? I've never made up a middle name. I should.

Oh, I just remembered. That was a genuine fucking choice. Giuseppe. Giuseppe. Yes. Yes. I love it. Giuseppe's great.

Giuseppe's awesome. That was a genuine suggestion. Giuseppe comedy. And I'm like, are you kidding? Again, my name's not comedy, you fucking idiot. Who has implanted this in our heads? What's all three of you think my name's comedy? It is, it's comedy.

What are you talking about? It makes sense. We know Chandler's a stage name. Well, okay, two things here. Maybe when your child is born and you announce what its gender and name is, on that same day, I'll announce what fake middle name I've decided on for myself. Oh, right. I like that.

This is going to be great. And you announce what gender middle name you have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're right. I think you're absolutely right with the female names. I think girls' names are just in general way more interesting than guys names certainly more interesting to come up with

don't you think well yeah I think because yeah it just feels like there's more variety for some reason

yeah yeah because guys names is really like it's a fine threshold because then it sounds you've either got Bogan down one end yeah

or just too high end where you're like oh my god I'm not that rich for that name yeah really Bogan or really just you know old man there's so many old men or just too high end where you're like, oh, my God, I'm not that rich for that name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not a Julian.

Really bogan or really just old man. There's so many old men. That's all come out. That's really woke now, like Lenny. I don't mind that. It definitely won't be like some crazy hippie modern name. Like Vaucluse? I'm into Vaucluse.

Or some continental Giuseppe or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing ethnic. Giuseppe is fucking great. Giuseppe or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing ethnic. Giuseppe is fucking great. Giuseppe comedy. Stop believing it, you idiot. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage, Giuseppe comedy. And this is for the spearmint rhino, of course.

I think that's great because if it's taking your last name and then it has a name like Giuseppe for the first name, what better meeting of the cultures could there be? God. That's pretty great. It's just insane. And, like, she's serious. And I'm going, there is no way.

Because that would officially make me Papa Giuseppe. Yes! Oh, God. Oh, God. Everything you're saying as if it's a bad thing is actually awesome. I don't understand. Your wife is filling content for the podcast. Yeah.

She's doing an unbelievably good job. She can see that sweet Patreon money and she's going for it. I'm seeing a whole other side of her in this conversation. I love it. Just years on, are you doing a gig? Yeah, I'm doing a gig on Thursday. Who runs it? Papa Giuseppe.

But, yeah, she's just going. I like it at Papa Giuseppe. But yeah, she's just going, I like it at home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is my baby. I got what I want. A funny thing happened to be on the way to work.

At least I feel better about doing your gigs getting paid in cash. Papa Giuseppe got some money for you. In a big calzone. We only work in cash. Only cash.

You know I'm not becoming more Italian. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yes you are. Yes you are. But yeah, she's like, yeah, Giuseppe, because of the Italian heritage. And again,

Chandler and Iggy got like on stream. Again, you were born two suburbs away from where we live. You are not Italian. He starts turning Chandler gets up on stage. Remember when you were born two suburbs away from where we live. You are not Italian. It's that Stirling Chan that gets up on stage. Remember when we were growing up,

all the skips out of edge of my sandwich. We get into the salami. Hey, and I'm like, hey, I can call us wogs. You can't call us that word. I was walking down at a Ligon street

and I saw a strange amenity you ordered. Dr. Spaghetti. And I thought, finally. You can't call us that word. I was walking down at a Ligon street and I saw a strange menu item. A duck and spaghetti. And I thought, finally. I put the duck into the sandwich. I tell you what, now that she's inspired this, I'm going to go home to her and say, Mamma mia!

Oh, now this is amore. I like it in Thailand. What about this? Super Mario Chandler. Good, good. Let me ask you this. Have you thought godparents yet? Oh, yeah.

The cat has been thrown amongst the pigeons. You hate everyone in comedy's names who do you like the most Tommy the Godfather Dasolo Don Dasolo

yeah yeah yeah well you got the name for it I do have the name for it Don Dasolo I like that that would be

great if you name me the Godfather I will go and legally change my name it won't just be a stage name anymore

Tommy the Don Dasolo that would be your middle name anymore. Right. Tommy the Don Dasolo. That would be your middle name. The Don. And you'll legally change your last name to Dasolo as well. Yep. For Godfather rights. Jesus.

Man, this is... Mate, no offence. I'll take $100,000 over that shit. That's more attractive than $100,000. Yeah, it's $100,000 to call it Tom or comedy. Yeah. It has to be comedy. But you'll need the $100,000 when you open up your Italian comedy club.

How Italian is this going to be? An Italian godfather and then the guy that's chucking in all the money is a bloke called Milan. I can't wait for the 2020 Amalfi Podcast Festival. Oh, yes. Oh, good. Yeah. Well, that's it.

We got a little Giuseppe doing tech for us. Well, yeah, yeah. It couldn't be worse. And at 12 months old, we'll be better than our usual tech. And then when you pay him, you'll give him pocket money and give him the little handshake. The little handshake, yeah. Don't spend all that lira at once.

I can't wait for the kid to be doing that to the tooth fairy, just giving it the cash. And then bagging it when it's not enough. Come on! I saw Ben and Thornton last night at a gig and we were talking about doing this today and they started on riffs about you being a dad. And I felt like, I was like, boys, please save this.

Put it on ice. You're killing me. It's good stuff, but you're killing me. There will be a moment. And again, I just want to be there. I feel like this should be a series. It should be like seven up. We should just follow you for the next seven years.

But you'll be at the park your daughter might be six years old right are we locked in the daughter yeah I reckon it's daughter Mrs Comedy no but

you're at the you're at the you're at the that's her first name Mrs Mrs that's that is

so fucked a bloke naming their daughter Mrs. Miss O. I got a feeling this girl is not going to be single for long. Miss O. Miss O. That's me, Miss O. What, your wife?

No, my daughter. Miss O. Sorry? Oh, Woody Allen. I know you're from a small country town, but come on. But the idea that you're at the lake and then she's going, Daddy, can I feed the ducks? And then you pull out the bread and then you're like,

This reminds me of this time. I was in a cafe once and I looked at the menu. And then you tell the joke and she gives you nothing. No, I don't think cafe once and I looked at the menu. And then you tell the joke and she gives you nothing. No, I don't think that's going to happen at a lake. It's going to be,

you know, instead of whatever bedtime story you read to your kids, it's just going to be Chandler sitting his kid down and just reading it the greatest hits.

Reading a duck sandwich before bed. Is he going to do bedtime stories as well? Well, he gets three different comedians every night to heckle him when he's getting out of sleep.

Is that what happened to Humphrey, man? Yeah. So good. I'll be trying out bits on her. Yes. For the pod. If it goes well with her, I'll bring it to this. Oh, interesting.

Interesting. I like that. That'd be nice. I like that. Yeah, exciting times. So are your parents excited to be grandparents? Yeah. Are they first grandparents?

Yep. Oh, wow. Mate, they're great because they're coastal grandparents. Are they still hanging out coastside? Well, they split their time between Mirabarra. Because that's what you want. More grandparents on the coast. Yeah.

Because you can hang out. They've got a place down on the coast. Yeah. You know what you would like a lot more is if they lived in Melbourne, which they absolutely refuse to so yeah well that's true but your uh your in-laws are in melbourne yes yes oh yeah and it's an italian family it's gonna be so big oh mate you are sorted yeah you are sorted yeah that's okay you need help you need hands on deck that's what you need yeah no you don't

yeah yeah that's it because I started thinking the other day I was like oh you know because everyone gets babysitters and stuff

I was like oh yeah I know some people in comedy that could fuck that mate it was hilarious

I took Freddie my oldest to a cafe with Oliver Clark and Luke McGregor like two single men and just as soon as she made a noise

they would both just stop you know Luke's then like oh she's probably got autism or you know whatever

but yeah those two were just like both lovely guys but just recoiled like holy shit it speaks what do we do yeah but they're

on that side of the wall they're singled them too yeah they can't possibly and no one can prepare for it like as soon as

the kid arrives what I'm worried about is that my wife is never struck me as the absolute maternal type. So that when... We only recently got a cat. Like we've had a cat for a year.

Yeah. And we get the cat and as we get the cat... There was a delay on getting the cat because I was like, so I guess what room does the cat shit in? What room do we have the kitty litter in? And she's like,

what are you talking about? The cat's not going to shit inside. I'm like, that's what cats do. We can't let it outside we're not getting the cat anymore okay cool

so we've got this kid coming up are you aware that he's going to shit as well oh wow but has she found a room for the kid

to shit in yeah it's going to use the same box okay good you rock over to a podcast and there's a cat

and the kid shitting in the kitty litter kitty litter oh Giuseppe you've trained well rock over to a podcast and there's a cat and the kid shitting in the kitty litter. Kitty litter. Oh, Giuseppe. You've trained well. He's done it again. What about this? I'm so proud of the kid.

What about this as a name? Munchie. So we can have Crunchy and Munchie. Oh, crazy. Very good. Munchie comedy. Munchie comedy.

Munchie comedy. Yeah, Munchie comedy. The only thing is... I feel like every I've just got to Say afterwards We've got to remember That that's not my name

Nine Alright Captain Comedy Now Now we have all The rest of us here At the table Have all received A phone call

From one Carl Comedy About Oh someone's Dropped out of his gig And he is furious Yes Now kids don't run To a schedule mate

No they don't. If you're calling around to see what our kids can replace yours. This is what I was about to say before. I did laugh because we did the episode in Perth where you revealed the news. A week before that, we had recorded an ad for the episode the week before that, which I was then editing after we got back from Perth,

and it was you complaining about your cat keeping you up all night and not letting you sleep, and you're going, this is fucked. This is the worst thing I've ever experienced. And then I was listening to that back after you telling me you're about to have a kid and just hearing it going like, fuck, you won't see nothing yet, buddy. I know, I know. Look, that's what we're talking about at home. It's like, oh, well, it's good practice.

It's like, I'm not sure you need practice for being kept up all night. It just happens. Yeah, but that's what Cody're talking about at home. It's like, oh, well, it's good practice. It's like, I'm not sure you need practice for being kept up all night. It just happens. But that's what Cody was doing at the start. He's like, yeah, I'm having late nights. I'm keeping myself up. And I was like, yeah, your wife must be enjoying that before the baby arrived. I don't understand because he did say that to me. It was like he was SAS training.

He goes, look, I'm going to see what sleep deprivation is like. It's like, mate, that's like me cutting off my arm going, I've just got to get used to bleeding. We understand the side effects. sleep deprivation's long. Why? Mate, that's like me cutting off my arm going, I've just got to get used to bleeding. Yeah. We understand the side effects. Just dropping myself in for some water torture just in case. I'll cut my legs off just in case there's only a handicapped parking space at the supermarket.

Yeah. You know. It's like you know the results. Yeah. It's like you don't need to do it. They're self-evident. They're really tight. But the issue you have is you've got a cat.

Now, having a cat and a new baby, that's tricky. Because cats are known, they hate babies. Like, hate them. So as soon as the baby comes around, you've got to keep those two separated. See, I'm genuinely worried about that because one of my wife's friends came along with a new child. And it's walking there. And the child walked in and the cat went fucking nuts. Because it had just never seen anyone that size before.

So it went nuts and just hissed at this baby. I'm around there all the time. But anyway. And it loses its mind. So the cat likes this one. It does like me, yeah. Really? See, it likes Tom's.

Likes Tom's. It's all coming into play. Tomity. Tomity. Oh, Tomity. We call him Tomity. Tomity. Oh, Tomity. Tomity. We call her Tomity. Tomity.

Is Tomity a boy's name or a girl's name? It doesn't matter. That's it. It's unisex. It's unisex. If it doesn't exist yet, we can decide what the gender is. Tomity. Tomity.

Tomity. Are you going to have a gender reveal party? Oh, yes. They've been in the news a lot recently for just going at the... Do you really reckon I will, given I took fucking 12 months to say that anything was happening at all? Yeah, you'll have a gender reveal party on its fifth birthday. It's like, guys, it's a boy. Even the kid doesn't know.

Yeah, gender reveal things are weird. Tommy Little wanted to do it with this kid, Amon, and I said, no, mate. And he's like, well, why not? I was like, because it seems like the most bogan shit thing to do. There was a guy recently who did one and it was like him setting off him shooting a gun into a bunch of

explosives that then caused a fire in the area. And it caused something like $8 million of damage. And the guy's like a military dude or something and got all these explosives and people are going, you must have known this would happen. You are a fucking idiot.

Cody can do whatever he wants. That's fine. But imagine being that kid at a certain age and seeing that. Your parents revealing your gender caused that much damage. It took them, like, a few days to put out the fire. It's, like, burnt all this. So, Daddy, like, I know I'm a boy, but when will that debt be paid? That's your problem, mate.

No, no, no. It's a girl. It's like, fuck, this is your fault. If you would have earned more, if you would have been a boy, you would have earned this money more by now to pay that off. It is the most self-absorbed thing. Gathering people around to just go blue or pink. And that shits me as well.

I'm all about the opposite of that. As the case of me Delaying this announcement I'm not one for Like you won't see Any of this stuff on social media Any of that sort of stuff I'm not into any of that stuff

I want to see Now I Yeah look I believe you But I also think You know When it rolls around And you got tickets to sell

I mean I mean think of the likes. Yeah, it's so many. But will you put, that's my question, will you put your child on social media? There we go. Yeah. I feel sorry for everyone who won't be able to see Tummity.

Yeah, look, you know, it's like the cat. You know, I had the cat for a full year. Then I put a few cat pics up. Because we're trying to win that cat competition. Look, if there's some great baby competition we can rig. Oh, here we go. This is how it starts. Yeah.

No, no, no. I won't do it. Put some photos of your kid up on his 35th birthday. Yeah, right. All right, guys. You can finally see her. Yeah. I promise.

But Mr. Comedy would be 180 by then. Now, I do want to clarify something from when I was listening back to last week's episode because this came up very briefly that I did see your wife. What was it? About two a month or so ago at our live Melbourne show. Melbourne slash Adelaide show. So you would have known. So here's what happened because she came to drop off some merchandise.

She drove up. She was now I thought I saw something, right? Like I thought I noticed – I was like, oh, okay. And because she was very hurried, she was very obviously – Well, she was carrying up merch. No, no, no. She was in the car. She didn't get out of the car.

It was all very rushed. It was like she pulled up. Jesus Christ. She pulled up. Up you go. Up you go. We've got a lot of podcasts to do. Pick the charade up.

Don't show weakness. We need someone to do Dora as well if you can just get over there. But my hips hurt. Come on. I've got a podcast. You don't need a desk. Just put all the change on your guts here. None of that happened.

None of that happened. I think it's coming. Well, we've sold out. So you're going to have to do it outside. We don't have a spare seat in here. Stick that thumb up there and stop it from coming out. Jesus Christ. But so, yeah, she pulled up in the car.

We quickly got stuff out of the boot and then she drove off. So my thinking was, I felt like I was like, oh, because she's so far along, right? But then I thought, well, now that Carl has seen that I've seen, surely now the jig is up and he'll just have to say something because he's seen that I've seen. And then you didn't. And so it was like, it was so rushed like i saw her so briefly i was like so you kept she's just gotten fat like literally i was like okay i guess she's just

put on a bit of weight because why would he not say anything if he's seen that i've seen you know why because he's called Papa Giuseppe. No, but I was aware of all that. So we went to get the stuff and I was like, oh, this will be interesting. Look, I don't know what's going to happen here. Me and you are both going to go there. And I thought, I wonder if you're going to see the angle or not. So we grabbed the stuff out.

Then my wife's very hospitable. She's like, oh, hi, Tommy. How are you doing? I thought maybe she would just... Love the name. Yeah, she would just... Hey, Tommy, oh, hi, Tommy. How are you doing? I thought maybe she would just... Hey, Tommy. This gives me an idea.

That did sound weird to me, I have to say. Is that Thomas or do you just always go with Tommy? How does it work? And it's Desolo. Oh, nice. Can you use that for a girl's name as well? And what's that you're doing up there? Comedy. Okay, that gives me an idea for a surname. See you later, Tommy.

So, we went round and then she said hello to you and then you stopped to say hello and then I went, oh, he probably hasn't noticed. I'll just stand next to Tommy and check out the angle. Whoa. Yeah. And then we walked away and I was like, well, if you didn't see that, you are less perceptive than I fucking thought.

Like you'd have to have seen. I saw thought. Like, you'd have to have seen it. I saw it, but like I said, because also it was very rushed and it was an angle, and maybe this is just like my memory being a bit revisionist, but thinking back on it now, it reads to me as if she was under strict instruction from you from not wanting it to be revealed, going, you drive up in the car, you hunch over to cover the bulge as far as you can,

and then you get the fuck out of there immediately. God. I would say the absolute opposite. Really? I didn't say anything. You didn't say anything. And not only did I not say anything, but when I checked out the angle, I thought it was almost the opposite.

I thought she was almost going, fucking check this one out. Yeah, right, right. Well, like I said, it was rush, and I was like, okay, I reckon this is this. But then what threw me off was just like you just not saying anything. And I was like, you have to be an absolute maniac to not just level with me in that moment. So it must just be I saw things. Well, when we walked away, I was like, I wasn't stressed. You know, I obviously haven't been telling you.

I was like, well, this will come out at some point. Save it, yeah. So I was like, you know what? I'm just going to play it cool and just see what you say. I was like, this will be genuinely interesting. I'll leave it to see what you say because you'll either be like, is your wife all right? Is she packing it on or are you having a baby or what?

I thought you'll say something and I'll go from there. But I'm not you. I'm not going to go, is your wife packing it on? That's not something I would ever say. I'm like, I'm not going to take that risk. I'm not going to go,

are you having a baby in case you go, no, what are you saying? I mean, who the fuck wants to hear that? No, no, totally. So that's so true. Hey, just because I want

to rip the podcast apart, is your partner getting fat? Yeah, yeah. No, I'll save this for my opening at the live potty. Or you went the other way and you were like, I wonder if Carl knows.

What does he even know? That's funny. She doesn't want to tell you. I mean, he is out a lot. Like, she could sneak by without him knowing. We were obviously the last people to know. Like, surely you told everyone. Family. Workmates told everyone. Family.

Did you tell her workmates and everything? Yes. It is pretty amazing that you kept it that quiet. I told some old school mates, told family, all that sort of stuff. Are you going to take paternally from the podcast? You can get the government one. You get two weeks. Who have you got for fill-ins like FM radio?

Yes. Who have you got for fill-ins like FM Radio? Yes! Who have we got? Everyone who Carl hates their first name. I don't know if I talked about this at the live show, but she goes on maternity leave. Yeah. And she goes back to work just after the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival.

So I've got that, and then I fly back from Koh Samui, boom, straight into full-time parenting. Really? Yeah. Interesting. Yeah, that's my last hurrah is Koh Samui International Podcast Festival. There is a god. The last hurrah.

The kid will have been born already. Yeah. But I'm full-time daddy during the day, you know, nine to five. Right. Going to my job of that. Wow. Interesting. Sorry.

Let's just – so you are going to go full-time dad from nine of that. Wow. Interesting. Sorry, let's just... So you are going to go full-time dad from nine till five from after July, five days a week? Yeah. Mate, it's been great knowing you. Sure you'll get daycare a couple of days a week. Well, I don't know. I haven't had a kid yet,

so I just assume that that's what... Well, I'm starting a new daycare program at my house for comedy babies, so I only charge $1,000 a day. What would I do? And last time I checked, you are quite a busy man. So you won't have all the time. Like last time I checked, you pretty much work from early mornings to late at night.

The baby takes up a fair bit of your time. When will you be doing your work then? Well, man, I mean, this is all stuff I'm going to learn, I guess. I mean, I assume my very loose assumptions of all this is that I'm at home, I get what I can done at home whilst I'm looking after little petunia comedy. It feels like you're maybe going to slip and end up booking a lot of your gigs at the very last minute.

In Carl's defense, and having the new one turn up now, it reminded me of how little newborns do. Yes, yes. You do feed them, you change them, and they just sit next to you on a table. You kind of go, well, yeah, this is parenting right now. Toddlers are heaps harder. But it does make me wonder, though, if you are a rampant Facebook user. Like if you put a post on a channel that hasn't commented, you're like, what did I do wrong?

What have I done? What a way to find out that he's hidden me. Or five minutes later, is he still alive? But that's because I work at home because I'm booking people, I'm doing stuff, so I've always got it there. I come a bit of shit for it, but it's just wallpaper. It's sitting there and I'm doing everything else. It's wallpaper that you're scribbling on

but it makes me wonder because you know look this does sound fairly sexist but it's like a lot of my mates you know they're partners when they're at home looking after the kids

they're just rampant on Facebook because they're just like and I get it you're on a screen because you're like I need a break from this oh my god he's going to be on it more

so he's going to be on it more like you don't even have work I'm not on Snapchat so maybe I'll join up there. So you're saying by being the stay-at-home dad, you end up with more time? No. No, no, no, because the newborn does nothing. At the start.

And that's why people are online so much. So that's the thing that draws people to put content of their kids online. You know what I mean? I've messaged everyone on Messenger. I've commented on literally every post that has come up in the Facebook feed. I've got nothing else. I've just got to put some fucking photos of the baby online to kill more time. But you spend the first couple of months just making sure they're still alive.

There's all that one. Like, you'll notice that with the second one. I'm going to be responsible for evening out the impact that Nick Cody has had on social media. Right. Restoring the balance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Between me and him, we're going to have a normal person in between. I like that.

I quite like that, yeah. But you do. You spend the first couple of months. You've got the second one now. So actually, it's really nice with the second one because you're not as scared as the first time around. It's true. So you can just let it.

You know what you're doing with the first one. You'll do that thing where you'll put them to sleep and you're like, oh, I've nailed it. And then five minutes later, you're right next to them going, are they still breathing? Right. So you've got all that. So once you get through that, which is the first couple of months.

Well, I need to sell a lot of our merch, so we've got room in the spare room to put a kid. I've been thinking that. I'm wondering how long it is before this podcast turns into like a family wedding for me where I'm just from the guest getting, and when are you going to settle down? Yeah. That's true. You'll be living vicariously

through Darcello's single life. Yeah. A good friend told me at dinner two Sundays ago that they were having a kid, that they were expecting a kid and I was like really happy for her and then I came home and played Red Dead Redemption 2 for five hours and went, I'll never change

this is this fucking rocks you know what I take my hat off for you I couldn't do what you do to look after a child five days a week I find it really really hard

by the way I haven't done it yet cut to Carl hiring a nanny within one day maybe I can't do what I do but one benefit and I will point this out is like

you know because I've got neighbours and they've all just we've all had kids around the same time yeah 10 weeks between the kids oh wow and you know

one of them has to be on a break obviously one's away from work one of the partners usually the women and it's like you know they're kind of like

what do you do with the days? And I'm like, call my mates because they don't have real jobs. Lunch with comedians is the easiest thing you can ever pull off. Because I live on the other side of the city to every other comedian. Because I live on the side of the city because my wife wants to live over there. And I'm like, that's fine. I'll live wherever. I'm not fussy.

But I don't know any comedians over that side. You guys... I'm probably the closest to you now, actually. Since I moved, I'm really close to you now. Luke McGregor lived near me for about six months and then that was it. Right. No one lives anywhere near me. Old two Tommies here just looking after both of them.

Are you having lunch with a T-dog? With a T-dog under your arm? It'll be fun. You'll have to come to zoo trips you'll get to be part of your dad's comedy group like you know you'll hang out

yeah but again the zoos are on the other side of the city it's so far away it's quick and then you drive over there you time it with nap times they fall asleep so when you get there

they wake up there's all these systems in place young parents are just looking for shit to do yeah they just look for shit to do it'll be interesting recording this when like we're at your house with the baby on a fucking papoose while we're doing the podcast.

Yeah, one of those moments where they just jump up and down the whole time. Just full episodes that sound really quiet because we're trying not to wake up the baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like I may as well be your partner because this child is going to affect my life. Yeah. We won't be able to have Lomas do any episodes at my place

because it's like, Tomody! Okay, come here. It's okay, Tomody. It's okay. It's okay. Come here. Oh, yeah, and night feeds, you know, all that kind of stuff.

You know, you'll come back from the gig, you know, you'll run your rooms and you'll be there doing night feeds You know All that kind of stuff You know You'll come back from the gig You know You'll run your rooms And you'll be there Doing night feeds I love it But you get all the parent material Oh yeah

On stage Yeah No Again The little baby's called Mini Golf Golf Normal Golf

Maxi Golf To be fair It's a much more appropriate Version of the joke Yeah Oh man Maxi doll To be fair It's a much more Appropriate version Of the joke Yeah Oh man Yeah Exciting times

I am very happy for you What a world It is great It is great having a kid It really is And I've had the same thing With all these people Who've told me

This recently Is that They're all people That are absolutely At the point in their life Where Before they say anything And when you're not thinking about it, you go, oh, well, of course, they'd be probably having a kid any minute now.

But still, when they tell you, it's still very shocking to me. It's still very surprising. Even though you go, well, married for a bit, live together, and this is true of all my friends that have told me recently that they're pregnant. When I'm thinking about it, like, oh, of course, and then they tell me, I'm like, whoa, what? Like, it's still surprising.

And you telling me, even though I was pretty sure I'd seen it and you've talked in the past about like, oh, we'll probably have a kid at some point. It still is so surprising to me. Oh, sure. The reality of it. To be honest. It's real.

I've known for quite a long time. And then the official outing and talking to you guys, I'm like, oh, it's real. I've known for quite a long time and then the official outing and talking to you guys, I'm like, oh, that's right. This is happening. It's a different level. It does.

And to be honest, it didn't feel real until Minka arrived. That was with me. Even though my partner was getting bigger, it just doesn't, I know something's happening

but really, it doesn't feel real until they're right there. Did you name your kid after the hot chick from Friday Night Live? No, no. A lot of people have said that. No, we named after Maya's grandmother.

It was her nickname, so we just named her after that. If it... Because if that's what you did, I mean, I didn't feel so bad about little Pamela Chandler. Sorry, Pamela comedy. One thing I'd like to throw out of there, when you have your first child, it is a huge disruption

into your life. It feels like your world's been thrown off its axis, when you have your first child, it is a huge disruption into your life. It feels like your world's been thrown off its axis and you kind of have to get your feet under you. You're still very confidently saying you're going to Koh Samui. Yeah, it's locked in. It's work. It's work, baby. I understand that.

But when it happens and your partner looks at you like you're a piece of shit, this is going to be very hard. She's very nice. She's got a big Italian family. This is what you've got going for you. She's got hands on deck.

You know what? She would be, look, she doesn't do this anymore, but she did do this for quite a while. As soon as I'd go away, she'd go, cool, I'll just go back and live with mum and dad for a week. And just happy to live amongst the family and all'd go, cool, I'll just go back and live with mum and dad for a week. And just happy to live amongst the family and all that sort of stuff. So she'd be a chance of doing that. Yeah.

And you need that because you don't, because yeah. Or she can stay at home and I take the kid to meet the relatives in Samui. The stepbrothers,

the stepsisters. The stepbrothers and sisters. Milan, Tominy doesn't want a shot. But it's just, Stepbrothers and sisters. Milan, Tominy doesn't want a shot. But shots are actually the right size for babies. Yeah, it's those little sippy cups for babies. You can do a shot of milk, can't you? If it hadn't have come up at the Perth show,

when would you have said anything about it? Not even on the pod, just to me. I didn't have a plan. Well, that's it because it had come on so long. I'm like, well, I better do it at that show maybe. We don't have another big live show coming up, I thought. Oh, we do have an event in Melbourne at the start of the year that we've now not talked about again on another rep. Yeah. Oh, yeah. What's the due date? What's the due date? have an event in Melbourne at the start of the year that we've now not talked about again on another rep yeah

what's the due date what's the due date should we just talk about this quickly what's our timing where should we leave for another week

or not up to you we can we can sizzle it quickly now and then go let's do it let's talk about it quickly so okay

this is literally what we're going to do this is a thought that we had that has come into fruition now we you know I'm not sure how how this all happened but this This is literally what we're going to do. This is a thought that we had that has come into fruition. Now, we, you know, I'm not sure how this all happened,

but this was an idea of ours for a while. I come, if you don't know, I come from, you know, Maribor. I come from a town called Maribor. It's a beautiful, beautiful town. Yeah, lovely, lovely. Clang. Is that where you're going to move once you've had the family? Yeah, totally. I want my kid to grow up the same way I did.

Fruit thrown at them from moving cars down the main street. So I grew up in shops. Like my parents were shopkeepers the whole time growing up, whatever. I love shops. I love going down the street, stuff like that. Tommy and I had this idea of what if we had like a pop-up shop, a dum-dum, a little dum-dum club pop-up shop. Because I've always loved how rappers will do that when they tour.

They're just like, hey, I'm in Melbourne. Here's like an unused shop on Chapel Street. Here's where you can go buy all my merch. I've always thought that's such a cool thing. I mean, pop-ups is just as hilarious concept as it is. Yes. You know what I mean? This is our pop-up store.

Yeah. So we had that idea and we're like, what if we had a pop-up shop? And then Tommy talked to someone he knows yep and we've it's going to happen we've got a date locked in where we can

we're replacing someone else's shop yep and we're going to put a little dum-dum club pop-up shop really? Papa Giuseppe's pop-up shop? yeah pop-up Giuseppe

Papa Giuseppe we do need a name for it maybe that's what it should be yeah Papa Giuseppe's come Giuseppe We do need a name for it Maybe that's what it should be Yeah Pop up Giuseppe Come and get an edition And some pasta I'm aware of the podcast

So we've got We've got a shop We've got a shop in mind We've got all the agreements Yeah And everything Don't we It's locked in

It's locked in Do we want to give out the deets now Yes Here we go It's happening Friday The 11th of January From 6 So just. It's happening Friday the 11th of January from 6. So just after Christmas.

Good. Friday the 11th of January after work, 6 p.m. at Danger Fork. We're taking over Danger Fork in Collingwood. It's a screen printing studio, but they've got a little shop front that they're letting us take over. We're going to have merch in there. Do you have the address there? Yeah, look it up.

We're going to have merch in there. Do you have the address there? Yeah, look it up. We're going to have framed artwork. It's going to be a little mini exhibition of the posters that I've done over the years. Of course, our merch. We've got stubby odours. We've got t-shirts. We've got all the regular stuff. Plus, we're going to get extra stuff made for it. Is there going to be a guest appearance by Carl and Tommy themselves?

Oh, yeah. We'll be there. No, it's just Kappa taking the cash. I actually do want to get some comics working behind the counter McHappy Day style. Yes. I think it'd be pretty cool. Yes, great, of course.

No, but we are going to have some freebies there as well. Yes, we're going to have free beers. Yeah. Thanks to Young Henry's. Oh. We did some stuff for them ages ago and about, yeah, all these cases of Young Henry's have been sitting in my parents' garage. Guys, can we telecast this like the Good Friday appeal?

That's not bad. Oh, yeah, that's great. Yeah. We'll probably be working the phones in the background. Yeah. You want to donate to Tomity? Okay, we'll take your call. Hello?

We can't pour a beer down the phone. I'm sorry. You're going to have to come down here. So, yeah, Friday the 11th of Jan from 6pm, Danger Fork Studios, which is 1 to 5 Perry Street in Collingwood. So this is what we want. We want enough people to come there that we get to do that thing with those exclusive shops where we've got the velvet rope out the front,

where we've got someone letting people in and letting – you can't go in yet, someone's got to come out. It'll be someone from the mafia. From my wife's family so free beer some exclusive items I believe can you sizzle

any of them any particular items no I can't look we've got a few weeks to talk about this but happy to have suggestions from you guys right now

I mean that's what you're here for so you've listened to the show yes I do I do listen to the show big fans you're aware yeah any suggestions anything we could Okay. You listen to the show. Yes, I do listen to the show. Big fans. Yeah, yeah.

Big fans. You're aware? Yeah. Any suggestions, anything we could do? Any pop-up items? Any short, limited run bits of merch we could do? Oh, just a tiny little megaphone that when you speak into it, it only yells out comedy.

Yeah, that's pretty good. That would be cool. You remember when After Scream came out, how you were able to get those voice changer things? If we rig it up so it's like the technology that turns your voice into Ben Lomas. Yes. Yeah.

Well, I've had two ideas for things to have at it that will probably be of interest to the listeners. I'm going to commission my dad to write an exclusive porno that I'll get printed up zine style. I'll get a limited run of maybe 20 exclusive porno written by my dad for this thing. And can we get a, is there going to be pictures? Yeah, I'll illustrate it. It'll be a collab between me and dad.

Fuck, nothing hornier than cartoons in a porno. Drawing, illustrating your dad's porno. Mr. Dassolo Senior doing a bit of Fritz the Cat style. Fuck, that does do painting, actually. Maybe I'll get him to do some porno paintings as well. You can have one of Dil's old jackets that you can use as a donut. Yes. No, that's the actual venue, one of Dil's old jumpers.

It's just a big tent out front. Fuck, let's get Dil to get out some of his old clothes. That would be amazing. Well, he used to give away Ronnie's old clothes. Yeah, exactly. That's true. I mean, just the food take of the sweat that's imbued in that material is worth it as well. My mum is an excellent cook.

Right. So I'm going to get her. This is going to happen. Right. Catering. Spaghetti bolognese. And Mrs. Dasolo, duck sandwiches. Oh, this is good. I'm going to get Mrs. Dasolo duck sandwiches.

I'm going to get Mrs. Dasolo onto it. She'll be keen. That's great. She'll be down there with sandwiches. With those little flags with Carl's face on it? Yes. We'll do a short run of our official cat food brand, Eating Pussies. Yes.

This is fun. This is very Yes. Yep, yep, yep. You can buy some of that. Oh, this is fun. This is very good. Oh, this is a great idea. So, yeah, come down. Anyone listening, it'll be... And, of course, if you are the police, this is all a joke and it's not actually happening. But if you are anyone else...

It's legit. We're operating under it. But we've got to come up... So are we going to call it Papa Giuseppe? Yes. I don't think so. We've got to come... That's the main thing.

We've got to work out a name for it because we want to have a big sign out the front. Do we just call it like Dumb Dumb Pop-Up Shop or is there something? Look, we don't have to figure that out now. We've got a few weeks. So after this episode comes out, people are going to have their suggestions. So we can take that on board. And everyone rock up with big moustaches.

Pop-Up Giuseppe's a pop-up. But yeah, kicking off 6pm Friday the 11th of January. We'll be gone there for a couple of hours And then presumably Something will be Happening afterwards Well it depends on How long we can stay there for And how many of those beers We have I suppose

Yeah Because it won't be that big By the sounds of it Is it just like a small little It's a little shop It's a little shop front It's Meyer Yeah

Yeah right Took advantage of that situation You guys are doing well Yeah yeah yeah But yeah big shout out To the Dangerfork guys For letting us go in there look them up

because they've got good shit they're a printing company that do posters and heaps of cool stuff yeah check I mean come back the next day after you've been there because you won't see

any of their shit when you're there but go on their website now because you can buy prints and stuff and will there be one ridiculously expensive item like a one off

well yeah we've got to try yeah that's something we've been trying I think we know I think we know what it is. We're not selling my kids. No, it's the name, 100,000.

Actually, you should have some kind of pool like that. You know, like the person who kicks the first goal at the AFL Grand Final kind of thing. Yeah. If it's a boy or a girl. You have to figure out if they've got votes or something. Like those little lids at Grilled. Put a chair in to see who's backing in girl and who's backing in boy. Yeah, that's good. Well, we've had this idea for a while to do that thing that Wu-Tang did

where they just did one pressing of an album and they sold it for like $100,000 or something. So we want to do the $1,000 episode. Yeah, yeah. But also this is another idea that we had because you can get – like we wanted to get like some of our best episodes pressed onto vinyl. Yeah. Yeah, so maybe we might do a couple of them as well.

A couple of vinyl runs. Oh! Some of the absolute favourite episodes we've done. Yeah, okay, the Got Talent episode. Yeah, Narnia's Got Talent. Yeah. Whatever else.

Hughes. Yeah, the Hughes one. The Hughes one, yeah, yeah. Sydney Opera House maybe one. Well, maybe we'll do a vote. We might have to pre, we might have to pre, like, we need to know

that we're actually going to sell them because they're not cheap to get. Also, I want to get some of them done just so I can give them to my mates, the Avalanches, so that they can sample and scratch them on their next album. And then when they try to clear it from you, you play hardball? Yeah. It takes them another 18 years. Hey, I've got a kit to feed now.

Because the summer's coming, you can just do that triple M, like, you know, top 500 rock songs of the summer, count it down. Yeah. And you can just go through all your eps to be like, and coming in at number 12. Yeah. We're outside here with the black thunders. I mean the black tuk-tuks. The black tuk-tuks.

The black tuk-tuks are here. Giving it icy cold cans of Chang. Icy cold cans of semen. Semen. Come and get it quick. Come say hi. I wanted you to bring back some semen to sell at the pop-up shop. No?

Surely you can order a box over. I tried. It's really hard. It's really hard to get shit over. There's only one place I know where to buy it from in Samui. And so we haven't even got onto this. But as we talked about in the last episode, straight after that, myself and Milan went to Copenhagen for a week.

Yeah, for the baby of me. For our baby of me. That's nice. For the real baby of me. So we haven't even talked about that. So we probably don't have time for that. No, we don't. We, for the baby of me. Yep. For our baby of me. That's nice. For the real baby of me. So we haven't been talking about that, so we probably don't have time for that. No, we don't. We've gone over an hour already.

What I was going to say very quickly, though, was that we are going to do a best of 2018 episode at some point. So we're going to open... Are we? Well, yeah, we talked about this the other day. Right. I've got a poll all ready to go that I'll put in the group,

and I guess maybe we make this the cut- cutoff point we'll put this one as the last one look i've always came for an idea like this but i don't i'll do it who's gonna do it me okay all right i've started i've started working on it based on i reckon i can guess some of the ones that are going to be in the mix okay you know all right so yeah as in stories as in little bits and pieces as in the bits from the apps yeah yeah so Yeah. So, yeah, that'll be up. I'll put that in the group on the Facebook, on the socials and everything where people can vote and then we'll tally it up and we'll do a countdown

of the top five. So then we do that and then we host the little in-between bits. Yeah. Like we're 20 to 1, 5 to 1. Yeah. Yeah. When you need help, give us a bell. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let me know what I have to do. I guess that's it. Yeah, yeah. So Se Right, right. Let me know what I have to do. I guess that's it. That's it. So semen, my point being, semen was on, the only place I knew where you could buy it was on the other side of the island. So I literally didn't have any time. Right, right. I was in Samui for a couple of hours.

So busy. Yeah, okay. And then we got in a ferry to go to Copenhagen. Yep. Damn. Well, if you're listening and you're in Thailand now and you're going to be back in Melbourne before January 11th, get us some semen. They're literally right as we speak, as we're recording,

there are two different sets of listeners that are in Koh Samui at the Ozo Choin. Oh, really? From Melbourne? Doesn't matter. One is from Melbourne, I think. Yeah. All right.

Maybe we should try and get them to bring some semen. But because we'll talk about it on the next episode but we did talk about in Perth about the idea of us

tricking some of those listeners into coming to see Milan and us Milan and I so we'll talk about that next episode okay great

well yes it feels appropriate if we're going to leave this time probably just a ciao mates for Papa Giuseppe well yeah Dave Thorpe Ben Lomax thank you so much It feels appropriate if we're going to leave this time, probably just a ciao, mates, for Papa Giuseppe.

Well, yeah, Dave Thorne, Ben Lomas, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you for having us. Thorne, you've got a tour that's on sale for next year. Yeah, of course, lean into it. Great poster. Great Michelle Obama quote. It's a good poster. Yeah, I like it.

Yeah, touring all next year. So just in different time zones and shit. Cool. I mean, it's Adelaide. But yes, and all down the eastern seaboard. Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide. Fuck you, Perth. See? You don't worry.

Even if you have a child, you can keep touring. Perth are great people. It's just a bridge too far. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Lomas, you've got a show in the Comedy Festival? Yes, The Caffeinator Returns. Every night I'll have 20 baristas in the front row, which I'll rip the shit out of.

So I'm doing 13 shows. So yeah, Melbourne Comedy Festival? Yes, The Caffeinator Returns. Every night I'll have 20 baristas in the front row, which I'll rip the shit out of. So I'm doing 13 shows. So yeah, Melbourne Comedy Festival. Check it out. And you did a show just like that a bunch of years ago. So Ben Lomas officially ran out of ideas. Congratulations. No, no, no. I looked at the script and it was my favourite show,

so I thought I'd rewrite it and do it again. Well, hang on, I say dot points. Ben, brackets, yells. Comedy! No, no, yells. Comedy! No, no, no. Coffee! Ben Lomas walks in and goes, I love coffee. Anyway, you know what reminds me of coffee?

Everything else. Let's talk about that. Excuse me. Excuse me. It's a very good show. But I recommend if you do come, buy 20 tickets each. All right, guys. Thanks heaps for listening and we'll see you next time.

Ciao, mates! Alright guys Thanks heaps for listening And we'll see you You were next Ciao Mate How do you do in Italian La And they've done it again I concur Here we are On another edition

Of Talking Dumb Dumb Wrapping up Wrapping up the week's events Wrapping up all the All the hottest takes from this week's episode. Speaking of hottest takes, I think we've talked about this before, but we're currently in your studio apartment. We've talked about there being a pool.

Studio, yep. A pool just outside your window. Yep. I'm currently watching a sun-baking, nearly naked man just splayed out in front of your house. He really is splayed out. I can see nipples through the fence. Can you really? Yeah.

Wow, you are really working hard to see that because there are not many cracks in there. I know. That's all I can see. The old go-go gadget. Long distance vision going there. I'm seeing what I want to see. But yeah, lots to wrap up in this episode. A very fun one.

We, yeah, hot off the presses of last week's big announcement. We wanted to follow up on it in a bit more depth. We, yeah, we campaigned pretty hard to get these two guys in. And, yeah, lots of fun. Fuck, we campaigned hard to get Ben Lomas. Jesus Christ. You did, though. You really wanted him. Yeah. I wanted someone like him Lomas. Jesus Christ. You did though. You really wanted him.

Yeah. I wanted someone like him. Yeah. Not him. Someone. I wanted a Ben Lomas. You say on the app that you wanted him specifically. I wanted a Ben Lomas type.

Okay. Right. So an ideal scenario for you would have been Alec Baldwin wearing like a Ben Lomas suit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So like someone good but who's got the same attitude. Yeah.

Much less talented. Someone who talks a bit less, someone not that funny. Less talented than Ben Lomas. No, than Alec Baldwin. Right, right. Him doing an impression. Yeah. But yeah, this was a lot of fun.

Yeah, so as you heard just at the end there, January 11th is the grand opening slash grand closing of the official Dum Dum Club pop-up shop. We'll talk about this a bit more in the coming weeks, but put that in the diary for now. That's going to be very exciting. If you live in Melbourne or if you're visiting Melbourne, come down and get your shopping done early for Christmas 2019. Yes, exactly.

And yeah, get on the socials and stuff. Keen to hear feedback and suggestions from you guys of the sort of things that you'd like to see down there. You know, what kind of, you know, we've got lots of good ideas. We've got heaps of stuff already planned. But yeah, always happy to hear your thoughts. How can we enrich your retail experience? Yeah.

Maybe we can have a nearly nude sunbaking man out the front. Oh, man. Just nipples for all. Oh, fuck. Man, there's a horde of people. Yeah, there's a bit of a party kicking off. Yeah. Tuesday afternoon.

Fuck. I don't think I could swim in these shorts. Have you been in there? You have to be invited as an official, as a guest of a resident. Right. And I don't hear anything forthcoming from this end. Fair enough. I might go out there and make...

Your pins are going to remain bone dry. I might go out there and make friends with the topless man. I have been in once, but not... Yeah, I went in at night once and it was really cold. I haven't... We've been getting some better weather lately. Last couple of weeks, we've had some sunny days. Is there any...

What's the lock like on the door? Is it on the gate around the pool? Because, you know, I know there's like a one-year-old that lives around here in this apartment complex. I wouldn't want him to sort of... Oh, yeah, yeah. Dilra Jones, the one-year-old baby that lives next door to me. There is a lock on the door, on the fence.

Okay, that's good. It's about four centimetres off the ground. Sorry? It's four centimetres off the ground and it's touch activated. You just touch it and it flies open immediately. So how is that a lock and how is that helpful for anyone? Because surely for adults that's like a real pain. Like that would be quite –

Like I said, I haven't really been going in there. I've been in there once and, yeah, I did find it annoying once. Right. But I just figured, well, I'm sure I'll grow to love this over time. You'll grow to love something that you don't like once. Yeah, right. That can work. When you're a little kid, you don't like broccoli.

But you grow to be an adult and you talk yourself around to it. It's good for you. You think you'll grow into this lock? Yes. I think I'll grow into liking this child-sized lock. Right. This lock, this very inconvenient lock yeah near your ankle yeah will is a bit of an acquired taste i really don't understand what is so hard to get

your head around hey i'm just saying it to myself to get into my head right don't argue with me are you having trouble i'm having trouble you're having trouble yeah okay right well i don't know i don't know what to tell you i mean if you haven't if you don't get it by now i don't know what to tell you. I mean, if you don't get it by now, I don't know what more I can do for you. It's a good situation that I'm in. It's a lock that, yes, a one-year-old baby can easily get through. Oh, it can. But he wants to enjoy the pool. What's wrong with that?

Okay. So you see it more of a good thing because it doesn't prevent babies from having fun. No. So it means that he can then go in there, right? He's been able to get the lock open easily, so he can splash around in the pool, but then the lock closes behind him. Let's say he's in there by himself, unsupervised.

Now, let's say some kind of predator. You know, they see him and they're like, we'll find a bit of that. Or save you when the baby's drowning. Let's just deal with one thing at a time. So the predator sees him and they're like, oh, I wouldn't mind a piece of that. They go in. They're planning to have their wicked way with him

while he's in the pool. Right, right. But they look down. How often does that happen around this area, by the way? They look down and the lock is so far down near the ground that they're like, well, I can't be fucked with this. Right, okay. So they leave.

Is this a pedophile heavy area that you're living in? I don't know. I didn't design the lock. I'm just trying to work out, like I think that's probably why it's in there. It's actually, you're not giving it any credit. You think it's unsafe. I think it's more safe than you're giving it credit for is what I'm trying to say.

I'm just asking questions. I'm not judging. You're like Louis Theroux. Yeah, exactly. I'm just, it's a bit of enough rope for me. I'm just putting it out there and seeing what happens. Well, now that I'm, you did say something about drowning. Well, now that I'm – you did say something about drowning.

And you saying that – I haven't really talked about this, but you know Doctor Who, how he kind of dies and he regenerates? Yes. The Dilwick Jones, the one-year-old baby that now lives next door to me, is the ninth one of them in a row. Oh, God. So I think that maybe the pool – maybe the lack of security around the pool might have something to do with that. Right.

So hang on. You knew Dilrick Jones, the one-year-old baby living next door to you for quite a while when you lived in the old place. And since he's been here, there's been nine of them. Well, they just – the parents knock on my door and they say, oh, he's regenerated again. And I don't want to ask questions. Maybe you'll learn what this means one day when you have a kid.

I always thought, you know, regenerating was some kind of weird baby term that I didn't want to know. So you think his whole body is like a baby tooth? Yeah, something like that. You lose it and then it just sort of grows back. His parents put him under the pillow and then they got $500 when they woke up. I have heard of parents putting baby's heads under the pillow before, I guess. Yes.

I guess there's some sort of end and I don't know about a start of a new thing. There's definitely an end of a thing. Yeah, exactly. Right, okay. So January 11, come down for the pop-up shop. Maybe we'll have some old Dilruch. If he regenerates, you know,

again, between now and then, maybe we can have one of the old models down there. Who knows? Right, okay. Well, no further questions

about that story. Yeah, looking forward to going down there. Boy, I am exhausted after that one. We're talking about dead babies, I am. I'll tuck it out.

Great, great news. Great news that you have a baby next door that can apparently never die. We thank you to everyone that subscribes to our Patreon. What that means is you throw money at us every month to keep the lights on in here, to say thank you for providing such a marvellous service. And we appreciate it very much and what we do is

weirdly enough we give even more back. This show's not enough for people apparently. It never ends. The giving never ends with us. Yep, yep. It's Christmas every,

it's 52 Christmases a year with us. People every now and then they're like, take a break. Do some taking for once. We're like, nah, not for us. Not our style.

I wish it was. Yeah, it'd be nice. It would be nice. I don't, I mean, it's not so much, I think it's more the fact that it's not that it's not our style, it's more that giving isn't in the style of anyone else. Right. Do you know what I mean?

No. So we'd love to take. Right. But there's no one around to give it to us. Oh, right, right, right. You know? Right. Well, apart from our Patreon subscribers.

Well, apart from our Patreon subscribers, yes. But I mean, the rest of the world at large yeah I mean I think that's why we appreciate them so much because they're they're the only people

they're the only people who care they're the only people who have ever given a damn about us yeah it's real diamonds in the rough yeah

we should like them even more why do we give them so much stuff fair enough speaking of giving stuff we are going to give you a precious gift

of your name on the airways. Yeah. Probably at some stage if you subscribe. So this is a part of the show where we not only do we give you magazines, we give you extra episodes as content. We also try and get through all the names of all the people who give us money through patreon.com slash little dum-dum club over the year so um

the only fair way of course to do that is to put all the names into a machine into a supercomputer as it were and they randomly spit out anywhere between one and one million per week uh so let's uh it's been warming up for the last couple of minutes i think it is all ready to go ready to go oh great yeah let's uh let's let's get the first entry out on the old Unplanned Title Alternator. I wonder how many people listen to this bit with genuine excitement that their name might come out. Yeah. You know what I mean?

I always think of people hearing their name and just being like, oh, yeah, cool. But it's just occurring to me that, like, yeah, there would be a lot of people, like, just fucking on the edge of their seats. I wonder if this is the week. Yeah. Well, no, I definitely do think that I've seen a little bit of correspondence like that that people do.

Like, for example, if I go, first up there is John. Oh, gee, John's an odd name. And then we talk about John for half an hour. And then there's like 50 Johns going, fuck, whatever it's a me. Oh, okay. Right. Yeah. Well, let's do that more then.

Yeah. Let's go on the first name for it and then do the second name. Okay. All right. Let's do this for this first one. All right. All right. Well, let's just crack in.

Okay. Let's go. Yep. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Kevin dot dot dot Wright. Kevin Wright. Yeah. As in starting with a W like the Wright brothers. Ah, really?

That invented the airplane. Very good. I think. Ah, really? That invented the aeroplane. Very good. I think. I wonder if he's a descendant of them. Well. If you were a direct descendant of the Wright Brothers, would you be trying to fly for free? Would you be turning up to Qantas and going, come on, read it and weep?

Yeah. But that's like inventing, you know, bubbles and then rocking up to Coke and going, come on. It's like you didn't really invent that actual thing. It's not quite the same. I mean, they did literally invent the plane. Yeah, but they didn't invent Qantas. Yeah, but okay, so in your metaphor, someone who invented bubbles.

Yes, which is a major part of Coca-Cola. But that's more like someone, that's more like going like, my great-grandpa invented shit food i should get to go on this plane for free well yeah yeah there's one component of it yeah but they invented the entire in the entire aviation industry yes oh well i did exaggerate it for for comic timing sort of thing so interesting i'm not familiar with this right okay well it's a new thing right it's a new thing right Right. It's a new thing. Right. So one day,

so you've just invented that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So one day, your future generations will get to get some version of that for free. Yeah, yeah. One day,

a relation of maybe my son or daughter one day will turn up to the Comedy Machine 3000 and want some free samples. A free dick suck. Yeah. I don't know about the last bit 3000. Yep. And want some free samples. A free dick suck. Yeah.

I don't know about the last bit, but yeah. Kevin Wright, one of the Wright Brothers descendants. Who knows? Maybe. Probably maybe not. Well, you know, you and I, we're currently soaring through the comedy skies. We're at a great altitude.

Yeah. You know, I think it's, I think good on this guy. I think he's right in one way. He's right the way that he gives us money. Yeah. Do you think he has someone he knows or is perhaps related to, like a cousin, Kevin Wrong, who's not subscribing to us at all? I'd like to think of this guy as Kevin Correct.

A common, once again going back to one of my great comedic tools, which is someone related to you, a cousin, having a similar themed last name to you. Not the same last name, but just loosely related. Yeah. What are you looking up? No, nothing. Just a lot of pop-ups were popping up then

So I'm just turning them off Oh, pop-ups on the unplanned title Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes What sort of stuff was it trying to advertise? What kind of pornos have you been looking at on the ETA? No, no, no Just trying to update And it's like, well, there's no need to update the software at the moment

Okay, right I mean, we've just come up with a marvelous name like Kevin Wright Why would I need to update anything now? Yeah, right It's working perfectly Yeah I mean, look at what we've just done We've said Kevin correct We've said come up with a marvellous name like Kevin Wright. Why would I need to update anything now? Yeah, right, right. It's working perfectly. Yeah. I mean, look at what we've just done. We've said Kevin correct.

We've said he's like a Wright brother. Yeah, Kevin wrong, plain. Yeah, you said something about getting your dick sucked. Yeah. So everything's working beautifully so far. Not mine. One of your future grandchildren. Oh, right, right, right.

Oh, that's different. I wouldn't want to be crass like that. Right, right, right. As long as it happened to someone else. Yes, exactly. Right, right. Exactly. Okay.

Well, thanks, Kevin. Thanks, Kev. Thanks, big Kev. It's like that book, We Need to Talk About Kevin, exactly. Right, right. Exactly. Okay. Well, thanks, Kevin. Thanks, Kev. Thanks, Big Kev. It's like that book, We Need to Talk About Kevin, but it's the sequel. Blow me down. We talked about Kevin. Yeah. We just talked about Kevin.

And he gave us money. Thanks, Kev. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Shane Gibson. No, hang on. Before I say Gibson. Well, hang on. Let's just make it, give a bit of space. Shane Yep. See, people don't know who it is

yet. It could be a million. It could be Shane Warne. It could be. King of Spin. Could be. He could subscribe. Shane Gibson. I'll be damned. I did not see that coming. Yeah, it was Shane Gibson the whole time. It wasn't Shane Warne. Maybe next week, Warne.

That would be cool to have Warne chipping in. How does that... He's a person I would like to meet. I think I would be absolutely disappointed but he's someone

I would like to meet. Yeah. Yeah, I would like to meet him just because it's like Shane Warne but in terms of his career and stuff

that he's done, you know, I'm not into cricket so it all means nothing to me. So I think I would disappoint him. Like I would be there going like, oh, this is really cool. I'm meeting Shane Warne.

But then I'd be halfway through it going, I actually don't really know what this means. No, but this is what would happen. If me and you had like got the company of Shane Warne, I would be like, oh, man, Warne, I watched you growing up. I sat in front of the TV for hours and hours watching you on the fifth day of a test absolutely destroy the opposition. And it gave me a lot of joy.

And thank you so much. I really enjoyed that. I really love cricket because of watching you and that part of that great Australian team and all the success they had for about 10 years. Whereas you would be like, oh, Warnie, you rooted the chick from Austin Powers. Nice. What was that like? No, I think I'd be asking about advance hair before I got onto Austin Powers.

Right. But, yeah, I mean, you're right. I mean, I'm more into the post-meme kind of career of Shane Warne. More into the stuff here. None of his success, more of his failures. Yeah, that crazy painting that he has in his house. Oh, yeah. That's one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

Oh, yeah. That's great. It's like a... It's just him hanging out with Scarface and stuff. Yeah, it's like him hanging out with all these heroes by the pool, but then there's quite a few weird ones. There's weird ones, and it's kind of that great mix of real people

and then just characters from movies. Yeah, yeah, right. So it's like, even if it was just all real famous people, this would never happen. And then you've got fucking the Tin Man in there as well. Yeah. I like a bit of like, especially with that guy. So Warney's like what? Pushing 50, I would imagine.

Yeah, at least. Yeah. He'd be pushing 50. But he's still the sort of guy to go publicly. Yeah. Here's all the people I want at my dinner party. It's pretty great. And at least one or two of them are like fucking Samantha Fox,

some old school pin-up topless model or something. It's like, you don't have to do that now. That's your 15-year-old version of who you want to hang out with. We should do, because we're always trying to look for different things to do for these, we should do that as a Patreon app, where it's you and I listening who we'd have at a dinner party. Right.

I was going to say, we did it, we had someone do a Sgt Pepper, a couple of years ago, Sgt Pepper's type album artwork, Reid Parker, Photoshopper to the stars, he made one for us,

and it was like all the guests that had been on, and then we missed a few people. And I think a few of them got upset or whatever. But in the words of me right now, who cares? Wow, you invented that just then? I didn't say I invented it. They're literally the words I just used though. I'm just quoting myself.

So that was like, yeah, you were putting the train tracks down. Yeah, I was quoting. In the words of me in about 10 seconds time. Yes. Who cares? Yes, yes. Yeah, I was forward quoting myself. tracks down as yeah i was quoting in the words of me in about 10 seconds time yes who cares yes yes yeah i was i was forward quoting myself yeah pretty good yeah in the words of me soon yeah um goodbye cruel world uh we should do one of them but like just surrounded by people that

we want to have on i would love to get we track down the guy who painted that for Warnie and we get him to do one of us at our ideal podcast festival. So it's us with all the people we want on. I don't think we would need to – I think that guy is quite famous in a way. Yeah, I think that guy's name is Jamie Cooper. He does a lot of those sort of – you know, whenever you see like an AFL – like an Aussie Rules Football Hall of Fame fame painting or whatever it's always the same people it's always you know those you know in cricket it would be don bradman hanging out with shane

wall right hanging out with ricky ponting whatever it is so he does all those ones so i think he did that one right um um but yeah we could that's not bad yeah us hanging out but then what's like a famous uh is that would we ape some kind of famous piece of art? And it's just us with all the guests that we want on. Like what's that – That bar? Yeah, on the corner. Yeah.

The diner kind of thing. The one with James Dean in it and stuff? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We get that done. But it's us with like, I don't know, Kamal or whatever. Yeah. Is that our dream, Kamal? I guess.

It's us with Trevor Noah and all the people that we haven't gotten on. All the people that have famously knocked us back over the years. Yeah, yeah. Well. Anyway. Maybe it's a painting with all the people that we'll never have back on again. That would be good. That would be very good.

That would be very... People would be a lot more interested in that. Yeah, because the Sgt. Pepper's one, have we ever talked about this? We thought, fuck, how good's this? And we got them printed up as posters and we were like selling them on that little run of shows we did that year. People really

voted with their feet on that one. Absolutely could not have given less of a fuck. They're still in my spare room. Is your child going to sleep under a blanket of them? Yeah. I'm using them as nappies. Really? Yeah.

That'd be pretty great. Or you could cut all the people out and make a little mobile out of them. I remember we were doing a show in Adelaide. Sorry for swearing. But we had them printed in Melbourne and then when we went there we went oh we'll get a bunch printed in Adelaide

yeah and we really went out of our way to print them up in Adelaide like a heap of them yeah the best price we could find was like two suburbs

out of the city yeah so we drove out there got it came back in then sold like three of them yeah absolutely ridiculous

yep a fucking waste of everyone's time yep thanks Reid yep so we won't yeah no it was great it was it fucking looks it's a great piece of everyone's time yep thanks Reid yep so we won't yeah no it was great it was

it fucking looks it's a great piece of art yeah it's really good but people want t-shirts they don't want fucking posters so yeah

that's the last of posters from us but hey maybe this chat about how badly it bombed us merch will inspire some people to hit us up about getting them

last time maybe this is how we get rid of them out of the spare room man last time we mentioned this ages ago we did get some feedback.

Oh, I'd buy one. And so for the next couple of live shows, I brought them along. Didn't sell one. Thanks, Shane. Fucking hell. Wait, did you read the last name out in the end? Yeah. Oh, you did?

Yeah. Okay, because I know Shane. I do? Yeah. You've met him. His parents live in Cochrane. Well, of course I did because now you're saying you know Shane. So you must know that I read his last name out.

No, because you said Gibbs. So you started to say it, but then you went back to hype up. But I knew you were going to say it. But I couldn't remember if you actually got around to saying it, the full thing. I did. So what? His parents live?

His parents live in Copenhagen. Really? Yeah. Is he a friend of yours? Or you just know who he is? I know him through this. Right. Through the pod.

I've met him a few times at shows. Fuck. Yeah. He's the guy who got the Everything is Rick tattoo. Oh. At the Brisbane show. Right. That guy.

Okay. Fuck. I've got to find out more about his parents. Fuck. That's awesome. Yeah. You talked to him about it for about 45 minutes

after the show but you know it was a long day yes because I just got back from Copenhagen so I could have could have gone and hang out with Gibbo's Gibbo Senior

yeah that would have been fun yeah talked about Warnie with him yeah and his son's tattoo thanks Shane thanks Gibbo.

Thank you to Patreon subscriber Leslie Bennett. Sorry, Leslie. Who could it be? Who could it be? Yeah. I wonder if I know this person. Yeah. I wonder if this person has any relation to anyone in Southeast Asia.

Mm-hmm. Dot, dot, dot, Bennett. Benno. Yeah. Leslie Benno. Yeah. Now, do you think this is boy Leslie or lady Leslie? I think it's certainly more common as a female name.

Yeah. It can be a boy's name. I would say female. Okay. Definitely female. Great. Because surely you'd go with Les. Given what we're doing here on this show,

you wouldn't write your name as Leslie, sending your name in here to be possibly ridiculed by us. Right. So you're saying you would want us to definitely know that it's a man? Yes. Okay. You would want to... Maybe people really like it when we speculate.

Okay. So maybe he's deliberately tried to slip us up. Okay. Let me ask you this. Someone big from the world of comedy, People really like it when we speculate. Okay. So maybe he's deliberately tried to slip us up. Okay. Let me ask you this. Someone big from the world of comedy, I'm talking global in the world of comedy, that you and I have never talked about. I'm impressed.

I can't picture where you would land on this individual. Leslie Nielsen. What are your thoughts? Very funny. You're a fan? Yeah, of course. But spelt differently to that. Okay.

This is L-E-S-L-E-Y. Is he the best male Leslie? I think he might be. I can't think of one other person. So, yes. So, yes. By default, yes. Yeah, yeah.

R.I.P. It'd have to be pretty big, pretty good, overtaking him. You know, Naked Gun, great movie. Still hold up. Yep. Fuck, did you watch it in America, did you? Airplane. Flying High, you fucking septic.

Jesus. Is that a real, is that like a snooty uni kid, like a 21-year-old? I think you're actually talking about Airplane. That's as close as you can get to sort of quoting art house movies instead of, you know, oh, I'm not a flying high fan. I'm more of an airplane connoisseur. But I always think about this a lot. Like back when that film came out where there wasn't, you know,

it's not like you could just be on the internet and go, oh, it was called something different overseas. So how long do you think it took before anyone sort of knew that here? Do you know what I mean? Where they could be like, because if you had worked that out, say you'd been to America and seen it over there and you came back and they're like, they call this thing a fucking different name over here. Yeah, yeah.

Now that would be pretty cool. I like the idea that like, because it was called Airplane because at the time the fashion was in America. It was a parody of disaster movies. Disaster movies. One word title. Yes. Very boring.

Earthquake. Yeah. Whatever it movies. One word title. Very boring. Earthquake. Yeah. Whatever it was. Tornado. Airplane. As in the airplane is the disaster. But over here it's just like Flying High. It's like the receptionist just changed that name.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's nothing. I almost think Flying High is a better title in terms of how it's aged because that thing you're saying at the time, disaster movies were all called that. That's not really a thing anymore. It's just a name that's just a word of a thing. It's still funny, airplane exclamation mark.

Yeah, that's funny. I think you think Flying High is a good name still and sure, but I think it's one of those ones where say I said to you, what do you think about Gladys for a first name? And you go, that's a pretty shit name. And then I say, well, here's a supermodel called Gladys. And you go, that's actually a pretty good name. Interesting.

I'm now seeing Gladys as quite a good name. Interesting. Yeah, I see what you're saying. Yeah. Yeah. I also think, too, a lot of the time is whichever one you've heard first is the one that you like more. Sure.

Yes. But, hey, what a film. What a film. Flying High, Top Secret. Yeah. Well done, Leslie Bennett, for being in all those films. That was some really great work of yours. Yes.

I think that's what we were talking about. That's what we were talking about, yeah. Yeah. Wow, some of your finest. Yeah. Hmm. Hmm. Should we try and do a bit more with,

because we've, I mean, we've talked about Leslie, but I feel like given that we both think it's a female Leslie, we've talked about the wrong gender of Leslie. Okay. So now we do a riff based on a male. And would this, I mean, would this person be upset that they, you know, that they had someone talk about a Leslie with a different spelling? Well, put it this way. You know why I'm influenced by this spelling, L-E-S-L-E-Y?

I can't see how that's a male spelling at all. It's got to be female. And I'm being guided by the fact that friend of the show, Daniel Sloss's mother has the same name. Interesting. Dr. Leslie Sloss. Dr. Leslie Sloss.

Shout out to her. Yeah. Mother of friend of the show. She's a little bit Mrs. Cody-like. She is a little bit. She gets herself involved in the world of comedy. Nice for those two to finally have something in common. Have they met before?

Cody and Sloss? Yeah. I think they were on our show together once. Who do you think Cody loves more, Sloss or putting pictures of his kid on Instagram. Cool. I reckon Sloss, but only because he's been in his life for a little bit longer. Right. I reckon within maybe another two months, the posting pictures of the kid thing will have slightly edged out. What if he had called his kid Sloss?

Sloss Cody. That'd be quite funny. That would be great. Would you say Sloss is a boy or a girl's name? Sloss. But it goes back to what you were saying before about the Gladys. Like if I saw a girl with the name Sloss, I'd go, oh, that's a girl's name. Yeah, and also because we know Daniel Sloss and we love him, you go, Sloss.

Yeah, cool. Yeah. But if you met anyone else called Sloss, you go, it's actually a bit of a garbage name. That's pretty fucked. If you saw some dork walking down the street and you went, my name's Sloss. You go, of course it is. That's fucked. And so are you.

Yeah. A hot girl with the name Sloss would be pretty funny. Yeah. With the first name Sloss. Yeah. That'd be like, fuck, that'd be stretching things. You'd go things you go okay i guess that's a hot nut fuck all right yeah sure i'll have to go with it but if you were that girl i think don't you think it would probably inspire you to absolutely astronomical standards with beauty of beauty because you would be thinking

i have to work against this name yeah yeah you know if i let anything drop here it's over for me i'd be making my own logo and, like, making it extra sexy looking and having a big pair of lips with a mouth open for the O. Right, so like the Rolling Stones logo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. You're like, check out this cool thing I just came up with. Yeah.

It's a pair of lips. Yeah, yeah. Just brand myself all over. Just really trying to force the brand. That's pretty cool. I would like to come up with like a logo for just me. Yeah. For just myself.

What? And wear it around? Put it on your own? Yeah. Because like you will generally do the design for our T-shirts. Yes. But then you never wear them. No.

Yeah. Which I'm completely fine with. Yeah. But would you – so I can't see you wearing a Dassolo logo. Yeah. Yeah. But would you – so I can't see you wearing a Dassolo logo. Yeah.

If I made a – but that's – if I made a good logo for myself, if I had like a clear – Are you up for designing your own new T-shirt that's just a Dassolo T-shirt? That's just a Dassolo logo. Yeah. It's still sold under the Dum Dum banner, but it's just a Tommy Dassolo T-shirt. It's just a Dassolo logo. Yeah. I would do it.

Yeah. I need to think what it could be though. What could the logo be? What's the origin of the Rolling Stones? Does the Rolling Stones thing have any story behind it or is it just they were like, this looks cool? I know the story is that a guy did it and then got paid like 80 pounds at the time

and then never got paid anything extra. Because the Rolling Stones are notorious massive tight asses. Yeah, right. So they've never even done a bit of a charity. Look, here's fucking 50 grand. Here's 100 grand. Like, we've obviously made billions off this. Here's a bit of this.

They've just gone, no, you got your 80 quid. He got fucked. Yeah. Damn, that sucks. Yeah. So he just gets to dine out on that story and that reputation for the rest of his life, which is something. But still.

Well, you'd hope he's actually dining out on it. Yeah. You'd hope it's footing the bill for the dinner, given that he's getting fuck all money out of the actual thing. Yeah, totally. What are the other bands that have logos that aren't just like the band's name? So there's that, the Rolling Stones. There's the very near and dear to my heart, the Jamiroquai,

their little bullhorn. Yeah, yeah. Their little thing. So you need an icon involved, you mean? Need a little, yeah, something that's not, there's not,

I think ideally there's no text involved. It's just pure visual. Mm. Doesn't need, I don't know if it needs to relate to me. I mean, if the Stones one doesn't relate to them at all, then that means I'm off the hook

and it can just be anything. Yeah. Maybe it just is like a, a purse with some sweet notes. Maybe it's like an open purse with like a, a stack of notes with little wings's like an open purse with like a stack of notes with little wings kind of flying. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That could be something. I like the idea of you wearing a shirt with a picture of yourself on it though. That's not bad. Yeah, that's not bad. I just find that a very funny bit of merch where we're trying to sell, we're trying to sell to people the idea of people wearing a shirt with you on it. And then you're sitting there. And I'm still cutting you in for half of it, even though it's 100% men. Yeah, and I'm insisting on it because I'm like Yoko Ono.

After all these years, Paul McCartney is still trying to get that ownership of fucking yesterday. And Yoko is still going, nah, you made your deal in the 60s. I'm still getting 50% of everything. Right, so you're like, you made your deal in the 60s. I'm still getting 50% of everything. Right, so you're like, you made your deal in 2018. This is us at the pop-up shop having a fight. Maybe I could try and get something done for the pop-up shop. Maybe that's where we launch it. Maybe it's, yeah, okay.

I've got to work this out, though. I've got to work out what my logo can possibly be. Yeah, and we can just do a short run, but happy for you to have your own T--shirt just my picture on them yeah my friend but you have to wear it at the shop okay great yeah definitely i'll do that yeah um my friend turned up to a friend of ours's 21st when we were that age wearing a t-shirt with just a black and white photo of vanilla ice on it and the girl's dad whose party it was came up and went why are you wearing a t-shirt with a photo of yourself on it oh he thought my friend looked like vanilla ice nice pretty good

well it's not much of a diss i guess because that person thought enough of vanilla ice to fucking wear a t-shirt of them but it's was it an ironic it's a diss in the sense that this man is looking at you and he legitimately thinks you're that fucked that you're gonna wear a photo of yourself right t-shirt but hey that'll be me in to wear a photo of yourself on a T-shirt. But hey, that'll be me in a couple of short months. So who am I to judge? Yep. Anyway, thanks, Leslie.

Was that who that was? Yes. Fucking hell. Leslie Bennett. All right, let's crack on. Let's get through this. Jesus Christ. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Sarah...

Pause. Mahal, I believe. Mahal. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Sarah dot dot dot. Pause. Mahal, I believe. Mahal. This is one of those people that subscribe with just their first name and I'm forcing the name upon her because like, well. Are you from? I went through the email. I found her email.

Okay, you found her email. Yeah. Right. Sarah. S-A-R-A. Sorry. Okay. Sarah or Sarah? Could be either. Could be either. I'll Yeah. Sarah. S-A-R-A. Sorry. Okay. Sarah or Sarah?

Could be either. Could be either. I'll say them both. Sarah Mahal. Sarah Mahal. M-A-H-A-L. M-A-H-A-L. I think Mahal is right.

Mahal? Yeah. If the Taj Mahal has taught us anything, it's how to pronounce that word. Yeah. So we're in the clear there. Sarah, Sarah, I don't know. Now, it could be a creative spelling of Sarah or it could be Sarah. Well, you know, you don't eat Sarah Lee and that's sort of spelled the same way.

You do say Sarah Lee, don't you? Oh, I thought you said Sarah Lee. Yeah, I don't know. Fucking hell, we're in trouble now. It's been a long time since anyone has said the name of a cake brand to me. Right. Yeah, I haven't seen much Sarah Lee lately. Thanks.

You're still out there. You would know more about that than me because I'm not a dessert guy. I'm never looking in that section of the supermarket. Yeah, look, that's very true. But I don't tend to go to things. I don't tend to go to that section. You don't stock it at home. No, you're right.

That's exactly it. That's what gets you in trouble. Yes, totally. No, if I have anything like that, it's a small thing and it's on the go. Can't have it at home. Any time you ever have ice cream in your house? No. Absolute fucking disaster.

No, I never do it. I can't think of the last time I would have done it. As soon as I buy, today, fucking nightmare. I feel ill from it. Today, I went, I'll buy those six biscuits at Woolworths, at Carl's, whatever. Yep, didn't last the way home. All gone? All gone. Walked from the supermarket to my house buy those six biscuits at Woolworths, at Carl's, whatever. Yep. Didn't last the way home. All gone?

All gone. Walked from the supermarket to my house, ate six biscuits. Didn't even touch the sides? No. Straight up my ass. Didn't touch anything. Just wedged straight up there. Not even wedged.

That implies that it touched something on the way up. Just shelved. Me and my friend have been having a thing where it's been really forcing us to just assess our diet and everything and our habits where, you know, we'll be messaging. I'll be like, all right, dinner's ready. I'm just going to eat this and then I'll talk to you later. And then eating and getting back on Messenger and looking at the time and how much time has elapsed since I sent the message saying, I'm going to go eat now. And being like, back already? That was six minutes that I polished off a fucking meal in.

Like, just the grips that you have to come to with yourself of like, Jesus Christ, take some fucking breaths while you're eating. Is that a bad thing? It doesn't, to just have the exact number there in front of you, to see literally how long you've been... To have a clear timer of how long it took you to eat an entire meal for an adult. Yeah. It depends, especially if it's like a big bowl of something that you've cooked where you're like, okay, I'm starving.

Right. Fucking hell, just inhaled that. Sarah Mahal, hey? Sarah Mahal. Sorry for getting so fired up, Sarah. Yeah. But look, I'm going to make a ruling here. I think it is Sarah Mahal. Okay. getting so fired up, Sarah. Yeah. But look, I'm going to make a ruling here. I think it is Sarah Mahal.

Okay. I think it's Sarah. I think that's how you pronounce both of those. That's the – what if that was like the Turkish Sarah Lee? Okay. What if? Yeah. I think that would be cool.

Yeah. Thank you. So it's a brand. So it's actually a brand that supported us? Yeah. I think that'd be cool. Yeah. Thank you. So it's actually a brand that supported us. Yeah. I wonder if this will be a thread because there was a guy who a few weeks ago we were trying to pronounce his name and we each had a different thought on what it was and then he put a thread on our Facebook page going,

neither of them got it right. Right. Who wants to guess on how you pronounce it? No. And it's just people going, well, how the fuck do we do this over text? And not only that, I think there was a girl, not a guy. Oh, okay.

Yeah. But, and also, yeah, I don't even know if this is their real name. I just took it off their email. They may have had like a bullshit email address. I don't know. Oh, this could be like a funny joke. And also, sometimes people put a thing in and go, by the way, don't read my name out when we do this.

Fuck. And I make a note of that sometimes. And as I'm saying that, I've just read, someone said, don't read my name out. And I've looked up and gone, we read their name out last week. Sorry about that, Justin Paul Sammons from last week. Sorry that we read your name out, Justin Paul Sammons from last week. Sorry that we read your name out, Justin Paul Sammons. We're disgusted by this lack of judgment here.

Also, we teed off fairly hard on them as well. Did we? Oh, wow. Okay. Sorry. Sorry, JPS. All right. Well, we've got to go.

Yeah, we really do. We're really late. We're meant to be at something like in two minutes. Yes. All right. Let's just do one more. We've got just one more time for one more pause after the first name and letting someone sweat on whether it's going to be them or not.

So here we go. All right. We might not be able to make the pause go for as long as we'd like here because we're under time constraints. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Madonna Comedy. Oh, my God. Subscriber. Madonna. Comedy. Oh, my God. Wow.

Yeah. Wow. See, even you were affected by that one. Well, because the pause went for so long, I was about to go the actual pop star Madonna. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She probably thought that too. She probably thought that too. She probably was going, fuck, finally. I've been subscribing since day one.

Come on say Chaconi or whatever her fucking name is. Chaconi? Yeah. Isn't that her last name? I don't know. Yeah.

I don't know how to pronounce it but it's something like that. Cacone? Cachone? Well we're not here to talk about you know Yeah sorry sorry sorry. She's going to get this another way.

Sorry sorry sorry. But Madonna Comedy. So do we have any more information here? Now I'm stressed whether I'm pronouncing that properly yeah comedy comedy comedy spell it out c-o-m-e-d-y yeah we don't have time that's correct you think that's correct absolutely correct madonna comedy you think that's right yeah okay all right any info here uh no there's not a lot of info here no no just comedy um i mean look we shouldn't be

struggling for any other info i mean comedies are pretty sort of funny as is like that's what we do what we try and do anyway comedy yeah and it's weird that someone's subscribed to us with a name named after what we do the genre of entertainment we work in. Right, right. You're right. That is funny. That's funny and weird, but life is full of crazy coincidences. Yeah, yeah.

Well, thanks, Madonna. Yeah. Thanks, Madonna Comedy. All right. We've got to get the fuck out of here. LittleDumbDumbClub.com. Tickets, links, all that kind of stuff that we have coming up. Thanks very much for listening.

We'll see you next time. Sorry, Josh, when you hear this. This is why we were late. And also fucking Koh Samui International Podcast Festival. Guys, get on it. All the details there. LittleDumbDumbClub.com slash Koh Samui. Yeah, get onto it. There is a big discount if you book

before January, mid-January. So get onto it. Yep. See you, mates. See you, mates.