The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 438 - Dave O'Neil & Georgie Carroll

Episode Date: February 26, 2019

This week it's the return of DAVE O'NEIL and the "studio" debut of GEORGIE CARROLL! We talk about knocking back gigs, Dave's lost some weight, Karl's been to the gym PLUS we have an incredible new Patreon sponsor and potential new job for Tommy! ALSO some live show announcements and more brainstorming for our new beer brand in Talking Dum Dum!Don't forget, we have a heap of live shows coming up: BRISBANE! You guys are awesome so we're coming back. March 17, 4pm. CANBERRA! We're back for one night only. March 23, 5pm. MELBOURNE! We're doing another month of huge shows at the Comedy Festival. Saturday March 30, April 6, April 13 & April 20, 4:30pm. We're also doing an extra show: Late Night Dum Dum. Friday April 5, 11:55pm. LONDON! Third and final show is now on sale! Saturday May 4, 3:15pm.KOH SAMUI! Come join us for a huge week of shows at an amazing resort. June 11 - 16.For tickets, merchandise, links to our Patreon and heaps of other stuff, head to our website: littledumdumclub.com  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with guests Dave O'Neill and nurse Georgie Carroll. First of all, we've got to let you know about some big, big, big live shows coming up all around the globe. March the 17th, we are in Brisbane. That is selling very quickly. It's at the Woolly Mammoth. It's mostly standing room, but we do have some seats available if you are someone that

needs them. Get in contact with us and we'll try and reserve it for you. Don't pull the piss, guys. Okay? Then the week after that, Carl, what have we got? What have we got? Canberra. Canberra.

Canberra. I kept thinking Canberra's first. How could you forget the city of Canberra? Such a bustling, exciting city. So much going on. We're there on the Saturday. Yeah, March the 23rd. Yep.

Big live podcast. Some great special guests locked in. My solo show is also on that night as a separate ticket at about 9pm, I think it is. So check all that stuff out. Then the following week, we begin a big month of shows in Melbourne. Saturdays, 4.30pm at the European Beer Cafe. March the 30th, April the 6th, April the 13th, and April the 20th. We then have the big live drunk cast, unrecorded, on the 21st of April.

We have a late night show as well. April the 5th at midnight or 11.59 p.m., whatever's easiest for you to work out. That's going to be heaps of fun as well. That's a separate ticket. So, yeah, come and check all those out. Big guests confirmed already. Always a great month of live shows. We then have May the 4th in London, Saturday, May the 4th at 3.15 in the afternoon in London.

So that's not sold out yet. There are still some tickets available. The next two shows the next day are sold out. So get on to the May the 4th one rather than the May the 5th. Yes, third and final live podcast over there in London. Then what do we got? We go to Koh Samui, June 11 till 16. We announced last week that the podcast do go on adjoining us,

which we're very excited about. Yep. So go to our page, littledomdomclub.com slash Koh Samui, to find out all about the details of how you sign up, how you get a ticket, how you get your accommodation over there, the password, the discount code that you get at the beautiful Ozo Chaweng Samui. It is filling up nicely. Be part of the last ever journey over there,

the last ever international festival that we're doing in Thailand. So it is the final one. People keep asking. It's not really the final one. I guarantee you it's the final one. Wow. Yeah. It's not really the final one. I guarantee you it's the final one. Wow. Yeah. That's a guarantee.

Absolute guarantee. Interesting. I'll just go there by myself from now on. I don't need any of you anymore. So, yeah, go check all that stuff out, littledumbdumbclub.com. We also have an announcement about another live date in Australia that's coming up later in the year that we'll be doing at the end of the show in Talking Dum Dum. Maybe a couple of dates.

A couple of dates. So stick around for that in our patented Talking Dum Dum segment where we also – Do we hold the patent? We do, yeah. I went in. I went in and filed it before we did the first one just in case anyone tried to steal it. Has anyone tried after that? Oh, every week.

People hear this and they're like, I've got to get in on this. These guys ruining their lives, spending hours a week reading out people's names. I want a piece of that. Can we franchise Talking Dumb Dumb? Is there any way we can do that? Yeah, that's pretty good. I'd be happy to do that. Yeah.

If anyone out there wants to open one, let us know. From overseas. Yeah. Patreon is a way that you can support the show. If you want to do that, stick around. We'll be reading out some names of subscribers at the end of the episode. But until then, enjoy this great new episode with Dave O'Neill and Georgie Carroll. Hey, mates.

Welcome once again into the Little Dum Dum Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo. Sitting across from me, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day, Meatball. Yeah, special episode this week. I thought I'd bring that back in because we haven't, you know, sometimes we're a little bit guilty if something comes up on the show

and we forget to talk about it again. But a few episodes ago, you told us how you wanted to be called Meatball when you were a kid. I didn't want to be. It got thrust upon me. It got thrust upon you. I tried to start going by Howard, my middle name, and then one day I was talking about my favourite sub at Subway,

the Meatball. My friend was like, no, that's your nickname, Meatball. Yeah, well, I'm bringing it back. That's it, Meatball. A girl at a pub the other night came up to me and said, Meatball. Oh, great. Yeah, so it's catching. If it makes a girl at a pub come up to you, you want to just adopt it.

Use it, Use it. Use it. Well, we talked about Subway, and I can't believe one of our guests didn't chime in on that one. Today on the show, Dave O'Neill. Hey, Puffs. Yes. And joining us for the first time on a studio episode, Georgie Carroll. Hey.

Hey, everybody. Hi, Meatball. Meatball. Yeah. Nicknames of my brothers were called Ozo. I've got three brothers. So I was Little O's. And then my twin brother.

What was your older brother's name? O'Neill Ozo. I don't know. Ozo. That's the name of our resort that we're using in Koh Samui. The Koh Samui Podcast Festival. Maybe my brother's running it. He's not really in Switzerland. Maybe Little O's.

Yeah, Ozo. Oh, man. That'd be amazing. If Dave O'Neill Dave O'Neill's brother Presents the Costa Mui International Podcast Festival That's great

But then my twin brother's very skinny So he used to be called Wilbur the Worm And then I got Can you call him Can you call him a twin brother anymore If he's skinny Yeah he's still my twin

He's just your brother mate He's not your twin anymore And then I used to get Fats Wilbur Fats Wilbur Fats Wilbur He's Wilbur the Worm He's skinny I'm a fatter version I'm Fats Wilbur. Fats Wilbur? Fats Wilbur. He's Wilbur the Worm. He's skinny.

I'm a fatter version. I'm Fats Wilbur. That's not very clever. That's just someone with a nickname and then putting fat at the end of it. They weren't 10 or whatever. They weren't mean. We're in teenagers. That's teenagers.

Right. My dad, because he was in the Air Force, they have the best nicknames. There was a guy called the Rusty Gun because you couldn't fire him and he wouldn't work. The Rusty Gun. Yep. Rusty Gun. You couldn't fire him and he wouldn't work. The rusty gun. Yep, yep. The rusty gun. I just found out before the show started that your kid,

one of your kids goes to school at my indoor soccer venue. Oh, yeah, yeah. Which I find very interesting. So if your kid ever wants to hang around on the weekend and watch a 42-year-old man kick the shit out of an 18-year-old kid and get sent off every weekend, stick around. You can learn a lot about life. So they hire the hall, do they, on the weekends for football or soccer? Yeah.

Yeah, right. I play soccer. I abuse younger children. I saw you jogging once. What's with the younger children? Why are you abusing younger children? They're not older than me. They're just who I'm playing.

You've got to join a veterans or a seniors game. Yeah, well, I don't know. If I bring my boy over, can he play for you? Is he any good? He's got to be good. He's playing for AC Milan. Oh, okay. Then he can play. All right. I can't... If I bring my boy over, can he play for you? Is he any good? He's got to be good. He's played for AC Milan. Oh, okay, then he can play. Alright. I can't play with people who are no good. I go too crazy. Alright, then. That's it. I got sent off

last weekend because my team was so shit. It made me mad, but I can't kick them, so I had to kick the other team. I'm not going to take losing well. No, I'm not. You are unravelling, dude. That's not good. I don't cope well with it. It got me very angry. So Neil, have your kids ever gone into school on a Monday morning and gone,

yeah, we were sitting in morning assembly and there was just blood all over the floor. Rich dum-dum shirt. Hey, I was speaking to some of your fans before on the phone. So I'm doing this gig tomorrow night for Wim. It's his wife's 50th, Anne. And so I ring him up and he goes... Oh, so this is A private birthday party

Private birthday party In a nightclub That you've been booked for Yeah in Moonee Ponds And he goes I go to women's Dave O'Neill here The comedian goes

Yeah mate He goes I'm aware I'm like oh you're a dumb dumb fan He goes So he comes to your live shows Women and Anne And he said he loves it When your mum and dad

Are there Tommy Because they don't feel that old Because they're in their 50s You know that They're in their 50s We don't that? They're in their 50s. We don't know them, but you did get the gig because they hit me up for it and then I got a bit busy and I didn't get back to them any time

so they got me. And also, I was a bit scared, to be honest, because they were saying, come and do this 50th birthday party. I was like, oh, this sounds... Birthday gigs are weird, aren't they? I was like, this sounds more like a Dave O'Neill gig to me. Magically, it went to Dave O'Neill. this sounds more like a Dave O'Neill gig to me. Magically, it went to Dave O'Neill. Actually, there's a Dave O'Neill gig on right now

that we got approached about the other day, Carl, because we often talk about your relationship with crazy people on public transport. I never have it happen to me, but then I'll be hanging out with you for five minutes. We're on a tram and a guy comes up to me and goes, you hosted my raw comedy heat that I was in six years ago. I'm like, wow, fantastic memory.

And he goes, Tommy, isn't it? I'm like, this is unreal. Thinking maybe he's a listener, but he's not. He's literally just a guy who did an open mic competition once six years ago. And he's like, anyway, look, I'm putting on this fundraiser barbecue at my house on Friday afternoon. Do you guys want to come and do a set? And it's like, we're raising money.

And it's like, so this is the booking strategy is just sit on public transport, wait to see someone that you recognise. We should go there. There's probably going to be a homeless guy carrying a plastic bag full of cats that's hosting it. He just went to the next seat along. But you go, oh man, I'd love to, but I've just had a kid

so I can't, sorry. And he looks to me and he's like, and what about you? I'm like, first time in my life I've ever gone, fuck, I wish't, sorry. And he looks to me and he's like, and what about you? I'm like, first time in my life I've ever gone, fuck, I wish I had children. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, I've got no excuse. Just have one. I just don't want to do it.

No, that's a nightmare. That sounds like a nightmare. Everybody will be stood up. It will be outside. Nobody wants comedy at that point. It was one of those things that he made it really hard to get out of too because he goes, it starts at 2 in the afternoon and it's going until 11 p.m. at night.

It's like, what can you possibly have on for him to keep from going at any time in that window? No, that's – Georgie, you – I was talking to someone last night. You were doing a gig with Dilrub Jai Singer. Yeah. Actually, you're our one Adelaide-based guest. I know. You won't come to Adelaide.

Adelaide comes to you. That's what happens there, mate. Yes. Thank you. Yeah. But I was talking to Dilrub Jai Singerelaide, Adelaide comes to you, that's what happens there, mate. Yes, thank you. But I was talking to Dirk Dreisinger and he said, he was talking to you and he was saying, oh, you're going to do Dum Dum tomorrow. And he said you said something very funny. Oh, I can't listen

to podcasts, but I've tried yours. Right. You've tried it. I can't focus on them and I got about oh, maybe seven minutes into one with Becky Lucas and and I've started watching documentaries on

disfigured children in the third world you'd rather watch disfigured children than this podcast we got beat in the ratings by the disfigured children documentary I was going to say

how long did it take you to realise that you transitioned into that documentary because it's pretty smooth you know say, how long did it take you to realise that you transitioned into that documentary? Because it's pretty smooth, you know. Well, it was as long as it took me to realise you could have two tabs open at the same time. And then I just got lost. What about driving?

I listen to podcasts when I'm driving a lot. Do you listen? No? Normally you're driving? No, I don't know why. It's like Bitcoin and things. I think they're just not part of my world. I don't need to get into them.

We've devastated people's lives as much as Bitcoin has we're not worth as much as people think we are I think that's

the same sort of thing so thanks Delwock thanks for ragging on me there no no no

he said this would be a very nice opener and he was right at least you tried it you gave it a go.

Props to you for making it seven minutes in. That's the bit that I'm most impressed by. Well, we actually just ran in. Tommy and I just had lunch just then, and we ran into someone who went to the original Coastal Millie International Podcast Festival, the first one. We've got the third one coming up, but he came up to us. This guy came up and said, oh, g'day, and we didn't, you know, we can't recognise every single person that go to our international Southeast Asian podcast festivals.

But he came up. He picked a very interesting opener. He came over and he goes, he just goes to you and goes, I just saw on Facebook that you bought a microwave. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, okay, this could be fucking anything. What's happening?

Is this another backyard barbecue gig we're about to be rocked into? But it was good because he goes, oh, no, I went to the original Coastal Marine International Podcast Festival and I met my partner there and we were engaged and we're going to get married. That's where we met. I'm like, oh, wow, that's a pretty nice thing.

Was he overweight? No, no, no, he's fine. He was fine. He's a good-looking man. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And then he said, of course, he said the thing about the microwave. So I was like, okay, so you're still active on the social. So he's obviously still following what we do.

He's still into us. Well, that's how I know you because I don't do podcasts, but I'm mad for Facebook. Right, Facebook. So I've stalked your site. Right. People are pretty, aren't you? They talk about stuff like meatball and that because I don't listen all the time.

You don't know what's going on. So a lot of in-jokes. I don't know how you look at Facebook. But so he says that. He's given I don't listen all the time, you don't know what's going on. So a lot of in-jokes. I don't know how you'd look at it. But, so he says that, he's given us the first bit about the first festival then he's given me

the microwave, I'm like, oh okay, this guy's still a fan. Then he goes, this was his next question, so are you guys going to go along

to the next Koh Samui International Podcast Festival? Are you guys going to go to this year's one? I'm like, no,

we just thought we'd sit this one out, the one, the thing that we run ourselves, that we're the only content on. Some big organisation. Yeah, right. Where you get asked to go.

That's cool. It is a compliment that it seemed that impressive to him on the first year, mind you. Were you the only podcast there? Yeah. Yeah. He's like, there's no way just two guys could be running this by themselves. Well, I wonder who's on tomorrow night, but I'm not going to be around. But anyway.

Well, it's like between. But is he going to go is a more relevant question. Is he going back for more? Oh, you can't meet another wife, can you? Yeah, exactly. No, he's done that. I mean, look, he's beaten the house. You know, he's cashed out at the right time.

He met a wife. Why go back? It's better than Tinder. Yeah, exactly. Oh, no, it is for a lot of people, actually. Well, between that guy and Georgie and your experience with this just being on Facebook, let's just transition this. Let's just move away from doing this as a podcast and just turn it into a full-time Facebook page.

Let's just turn this into the onion. You know, interestingly enough, because I was trying to Wikipedia you all earlier, because Dave, we haven't met before, have we? And I'm very unaware of people I've not met. What's Dave's Wikipedia page generally you did a lot with the scouts that was yours then there was a jail term

the first two paragraphs are about you and scouting and then it goes onto your TV stuff and then you the first thing that comes up for you is memes about you rather than any TV stuff I think it says I'm four foot tall or something like that yeah so yeah it was just lots of memes about you really is that a thing it is a thing yeah a couple of friends of mine run a meme page

about me and there's people that are fans of the other friends that don't know who i am and so they love and they're always going they're always like messaging the page that's run by my friends going who's this who's this fucking guy that you've made up? They think I'm like a stock. What was that old meme of the stock image of the kid that just had, they think it's like that, that I'm just some random Getty Images thing. Right, they found you on Shutterstock.

What's on your Wikipedia page, Kyle? I've only got a reasonably fresh one. Surely it says Maryborough, former resident of Maryborough. The only thing I remember, I think they've got like, oh, I was born in 1926 or whatever it is. Well, what was interesting was on yours, when it talks about Dum Dum Club, his name's blue so you can go and research him,

but he's kept you secret on this. Oh, I'm not linked on his. You can't click on you to find out who you are. We didn't make them about ourselves. We didn't make it. Oh, is that how it works? No, someone else makes them. Oh, right, okay.

I didn't make mine. Yeah, we didn't make ours. We've talked about this on the show before. There are some people in the world of entertainment that have made their own Wikipedia pages. Oh, really? And you can always tell when someone's written their own one. They're very generous.

I didn't write the one that said I was born in 1914. That's not my work. I edited mine once. Yeah, Carl, here's Carl's one. Carl is an Australian writer and comedian. He co-hosts the popular comedy podcast Little Dumb Dumb Club.

We've got to correct that, popular. Yeah. Thanks, man. Chandler now spends a lot of his time in Thailand where alongside Deslo he hosted the

Coastal Media National, yeah, yeah, okay. It's quite a long one. It's pretty good. Oh, really? I haven't looked at it for a long time. Someone's got wordy about you.

Then it goes about Studio A which is a Channel 31. You wrote for the Speaks and Speaks reunion. You finally, oh, then a bit of personal stuff. You finally married your fiancée. Oh, it's got my wedding date on it. Oh, I don't know about this.

I'm not sure about it. Oh, it's got a name, some of the wedding guests. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, Dave O'Neill, Tom Gleeson. Dave O'Neill brackets left to go do a corporate for Chemist Warehouse down the road. No, it wasn't. Oh, no. And then stand-up shows and list all your stand-up shows.

Oh, God. He's got to be comprehensive. That's pretty impressive. That's how you know you've made it when your Wikipedia page has the personal life bit in it. No, I've got to change it. You've now had a child. He went in. What's the name of your baby again?

I'll just put it on. No, let's not put that in. Comedian. I haven't seen you since the baby. Yeah, it's good. I mean, I'm here So you know That's probably not

The right thing to do But you've got to work You've got to work It's all about work isn't it No I'm not going to do Baby material Your daughter's in the car

Out the front I've got a present Do you want to buy Something for me No No I used to say I can't remember

My baby stuff But I used to have A lot of baby stuff Right Well you know what I've got your present Oh really For the baby Yeah Oh thank you I used to say, I can't remember my baby stuff, but I used to have a lot of baby stuff. Right. Well, you know what? I got you a present. Oh, really?

For the baby, yeah. Oh, thank you. I was in the hospital. I don't see one, but anyway. I was in the hospitals yesterday. Right. And I don't know if you, there's always a shit store where old ladies have knitted outfits for babies. Oh, I love them.

Yeah. Oh, go on. I've actually got a present coming. So, yeah, it's like, look at the bag. It's such a hospital bag. Oh, it's a knitted. So, yeah, it's like, look at the bag. It's such a hot little bag. Oh, it's a knitted. Oh.

BC, BC. It's a little off the shoulder number. Oh, thank you. That actually looks like my under-14s Mariborra soccer top. That is great. So it's a knitted green. It looks like a high-vis top. It's a socceroos.

It's a little wooden socceroos top. I think your baby's going to be holding a stop and go sign. Baby's going to be holding a stop and go sign. I was wanting to get you, but I didn't know if wife was a drinker or not. But you know there's breast milk breathalysers now? No. You can squirt like a bit of litmus paper and you put your tip milk on it and then it tells you whether you can breastfeed or whether you should

Is that the official term that you use? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's a nurse, she knows. You know what? So a titty milk breathalyser. Yeah, breast milk breathalyser. It's called milk screen. And if you're at a party or whatever, you think,

I've had two glasses, and then you can just dump that milk and give it the next lot. Or if you're at the house party and you're a guy that's run out of booze that you've brought with you. Yeah, you can stuff on that. We can get onto this and it's going to get us fucked up. Yeah. Next time I go to camp, I go, can we get that titty milk? Is Fiona O'Loughlin having a kid soon?

Can we get on to that? She's got a grandbaby. Greg Fleet will, anyway, whatever. Is Greg Fleet lactating? Lactating. Well, men can breastfeed. Some men can breastfeed. I don't think they can.

I'm going to go with the nurse on the sudden. I think we'll go with you. I don't think they can. I'm going to go with the nurse on the sudden. I think we'll go with you. I don't think that's milk coming out of whatever is coming out of you, Dave. I'm so keen.

This is what I want to do in the next dumb dumb life. It's just grease coming out of you when you eat too much chicken, O'Neill. It's gender fluid

that you've gone mad. I was going to say, have you lost weight? Yeah, I went to this sleep doctor. I snore a lot and the doctor said, I'll tell you why you're snoring.

Were you going through a drive-thru in your sleep? Wake up. And he goes, you're fat. That's why you snore. Wow, okay. And so anyway, I had a sleep study where I snored overnight. I meant to message you because you put the thing up on Twitter. Have you rigged up to them?

With all the electrodes and that. I did the same thing about a year ago. Oh, and what did they find out about you? I have seizures in the middle of the night. So I have to take epilepsy medication. Really? Yeah. Wow.

What makes you go and get tested for something? What's that meant to you? Just not sleeping. Like waking up and feeling completely fucked. And yeah, I hoped it was going to be sleep apnea. Because then it's like, the hope was you just get the mouth guard and it's like, that's fine. But now I'm on a prescription thing that you have to go and get refilled all the time. Yeah, yeah, right.

Wow. How about this? We've got a fella in Adelaide who's got narcolepsy and sleep apnea. Nice. Oh. That's like, yeah. How does that work? So he falls asleep and then he can't breathe.

We've got to get out of here. Just full time. Yeah. That's hard work. That sounds like someone's like first open mic joke. Yeah. It is a real thing. I know what you. Yeah. It is a real thing. I know what you're thinking.

It is a real thing. I was trying to think of what the punchline was going to be. No, no. It's what it is, mate. It's a real person. Anyway, next, next. I want to get a ventriloquist doll and dress it up as Baby Chandler. Don't you reckon that would be funny?

Hey, everyone. Come in. I come in with him. I've been thinking about it a lot. This has got to do with the sleep test I think it's got a lot to do with the sleep test I think these are the sort of ideas you come up with Yeah I couldn't sleep It's true

Last Friday night at the What was it? The Brunswick Private Hospital I couldn't sleep God I can't sleep He's just up at 2am Drawing designs For the mock-up of Chandler

Baby Chandler Ventriloquist. Oh, my God, Dad. First joke, the baby looking at you. I thought you said you didn't have any kids. Who's this baby? That'll be the first joke. Oh, God.

Because I've worked with David Strathsman a lot years ago. I know all that. He's a ventriloquist. He's a ventriloquist. Isn't there a Chucky and Teddy Bear? I suppose if you're young, you wouldn't know him. We're a couple of weeks into me having a baby. And so I got asked last night by my wife.

She's filling in all the forms. And she said she's filling in the birth certificate. And she got to. Father. Father. Comedian. Oh, job. Job.

Occupation. And she said, what do you want? And I was like, that is a good question. I don't know. No, you're a comedian. Well, do you? I don't know. Because it's like, I never say that, you know,

when I go through customs or anything because I just find it a bit – Why do you say that? It's an embarrassing thing to put. Yeah, there's no difference between putting it on your kid's birth certificate and saying it to a cab driver. Well, there's no cab drivers running customs. But, no, I thought it would be – you know what? I said, you know what?

Hang on for a second. I'll talk to my friends about it first. You're going to be a comedian. Do you? Well, you could be a writer, I'll talk to my friends about it first. You could be a comedian. Do you? Well, you could be a writer, but I reckon comedian, yeah, podcaster. Well, that's it. I probably reject that. That's pretty funny.

That'll date Paulie. Well, Dad was a blogger. I don't know about you, but I find myself faintly embarrassed by the term comedian though. Entertainer's worse though, isn't it? Yeah. That's the suggestion. So that's what she's written down at the moment.

No, because that's somebody who reads out email jokes. You know what's worse? I find that so funny. Don't you find that funny that on a birth certificate of my child is occupation for Carl Chandler father, entertainer. Don't you find that funny? Because entertainer makes it sound like you're one of those slashies who's just a person that wants to be famous

and doesn't really care what they do. And he's not specifically good at anything. I think it makes me sound more like a magician. A magician or someone who's got a dog that does tricks or something. It's not what you do. You know what's worse than all of them? This guy was doing tiling across the road and he goes, oh, let's talk to the owner.

He said, you're a clown. I'm not a clown. I'm a comedian. He goes, yeah, yeah. So do you know. He said, you're a clown. I'm not a clown. I'm a comedian. He goes, yeah, yeah. So do you know Puffs the Clown? I don't know. Puffs the Clown from Williamstown, mate. I'm a comedian.

He goes, yeah, yeah, the same thing, isn't it? He's an old guy. Is that the full name, Puffs the Clown from Williamstown? That's good. Puffs the Clown. He goes, well, what do you do? I said, I'll get him to tell you. He goes, yeah, like a clown.

You're a clown, mate. Put clown on you. No. Larrikin. Professional larrikin. Professional larrikin. I don't know. Mirt maker.

Not entertainer. He's the worst. Entertainer is just an awful buffoon. My dad says that about me. He's like, say you're an entertainer. Don't say you're a comedian. You're selling yourself short. And I'm like, that's the point.

But I will say I'm less embarrassed about saying comedian now that there's the term podcaster. I would rather say I'm a comedian even though... I mean, I earn more off this than I do off stand-up. But I will never say I'm a podcaster rather than saying I'm a comedian. Comedian's timeless as well. Podcaster will disappear.

Right. Thank you. By the time he's 30. By the time child is 30 all right well when we that's not helping my child's future all right thank you for bringing the gift because obviously i can't pay for my own kids clothes soon so thank you hey you're full-time with comedy now georgie you need shit like this pretty soon okay yeah you reckon i'll need to be proud to be a comedian you're gonna be because there's not that many people that make a living out of it. Yeah, sure.

We make the world better, guys. We brighten people's days. Or ruin them. We're more important than surgeons. There's people in their cars right now who are thinking about killing themselves and this has turned them around. It's brightened their day.

You'd be surprised. A lot of people listen to podcasts and it helps them. So you've lost weight. Yeah, well, not much. I'm stopping in carbs. I'm still, I'm not very good at noticing

when people put on a lost weight, but when you did walk in here, I was nearly going to flip the coin. I was nearly going to say, have you lost weight? Because I thought there's something about, what have you lost? Five?

No, two. Two kilos? Yeah. Oh, fuck. I would have had to. Yeah, the guy's saying, I don't notice these things, like two kilograms. What happened to O'Neill? Yeah. Oh, he. That was a small turd. Yeah, the guy's saying, I don't notice these things like two kilograms.

What happened to O'Neill? Yeah. Oh, he's wasted away. That was all brass milk. If I can pick two kilos off you, fucking hell. You can't do fat jokes anymore. Two kilos? It's not much.

That just means you went to the toilet before you started the podcast. I've stopped snacking and having sushi every day. You've stopped having sushi? Sushi's not bad, is it? But I'd have it like... I told... I have and having sushi every day. You've stopped having sushi? Sushi's not bad. But I'd have it like... I told... I have got a dietician...

I suppose that's like saying, you know, fish isn't fattening. You look at a whale and go, well, if you eat enough of it, you're going to get big. I saw a professional dietician called Hughes. You know Hughes? I know Hughes. He goes, just run through me with what you eat. Just run through it with me. And I said...

Now do the voice. Yeah, he goes... Enough about what Agro said. Just – and I said, well, yeah, I have Wheat Bix and Toast in the morning. Wheat Bix and Toast? Yeah, yeah. And then I have two sushi rolls and then I have like a – What, full breakfast?

I know, mid-morning, 10 o'clock. Oh, this is mid-morning. I was going to say. O'Neill-san. Yeah. And then I have like a proper lunch, like a chicken and salad roll. And then I have a snack in the afternoon. Then I have dinner and then something after dinner.

He's like, mate, you're eating too much. It's in too much. So my dietician, Hugh, he says, just stop snacking. And so that's what I've done. Right. Okay. And how many days has it taken to lose two kilos? Not long, about three weeks.

Well, right. Okay. And is it all because you can't breathe when you sleep? This is what's triggered it? No, I snore. It doesn't affect me, but my partner said I snore really badly. So that's why I went to the sleep doctor. Bad snoring.

So I've been, so this, you know, Tommy and I have both been, you know, doing a lot of fitness lately. I know. Tommy's looking good. Oh, my God. How much weight have you lost? Two kilos. Two big ones. Were you fat then?

I was a few kilos fat I was chubby I've never thought he was fat I was looking at some photos From like a year and a half ago The other day You would have lost He's lost a lot of weight

He's gone from meatballs to meatball Yeah He's halved in size I'm a lean cuisine meatballs now Right I'm turkey I used to be pork Now I'm turkey

You would have lost at least 10 kilos I reckon 10 to 15 since about a year ago. He did the bad mistake. He didn't weigh himself at the start. I know. He had to get that Jenny Craig gig. Yeah.

Like Shane Jacobson. Yeah, the podcast Jenny Craig sponsorship. Wow, you can really hear it in his voice. He's all less jowly now. He used to have a real fat throat now. Not now. Theodora Lachlan said recently when we were talking about this on the show with her that i have an aids neck yeah and people keep now what does that mean is it just that it's too skinny i don't know what that means it does i didn't notice when she said

that i i think i understand where she's trying to come from it just looks a lot thinner than okay right it used to right i think that's all she's put that in not a very complimentary way but i understand what she's trying to say. Because now I just have people messaging me all the time going, ah, the AIDS neck. It's like that's caught on more than meatball has, honestly. Old OJ throat. No, not OJ, Magic.

Magic Johnson. I can't get anything mixed up. You look like a drinker. You look like Maury Fields, one of those old blokes. Are you trying to build your self-esteem back up? Oh, sorry. Yeah, that's the next thing.. Are you trying to build your self-esteem back up? I'm sorry. Yeah, that's the next thing.

I've got rosacea, and I've talked about it a bit on the show. I went into a laser clinic thinking it was just easy, where it's just like, oh, you just get the dose of the laser once, and then you're done. And they said, what we'd have to do with you is do this thing called needling, where you have to come in here for 10 sessions, like once a month, and we roll like a bed of needles down your head and then it fucks you up worse for a week afterwards you look severely sunburned you'll be in a lot of pain but then in about a year's time and for a hundred dollars a session then in a year's time you'll be fine you're fine already mate you're not doing

that i'm on the fence it's annoying because i oh, I don't think I'll do it. And then I'm thinking about it now going, well, if I'd said yes to it at the time, I'd be almost halfway through it now. You know what I mean? Which is annoying. But I don't know. I should do it, I guess. So I've got a gym membership.

I've got a personal trainer, all that sort of stuff. Now, we've just had the... I only go once a week, though. Does the personal trainer know who you are? Are they aware? He's listened to some episodes. Because you've got to have something to talk about in between reps and stuff a week, though. Does the personal trainer know who you are? Are they aware? He's listened to some episodes. Because you've got to have something to talk about in between reps and stuff. So it's taken a long time.

But, you know, I'm not saying to him. It took a long time for him to figure out what I did, what I do. An entertainer. Because I'm not in between. Yeah, entertainer, exactly. Blogger who speaks. Because you don't want to go in there and lead with your chin and go, oh, yeah, check it out.

I can't do a push-up, but I'm a fucking funny cunt, mate. I'm a comedian. Put that on the occupation on your kid's birth certificate, mummy cunt. Yeah, yeah. Funny cunt. Mummy cunt. Mummy cunt.

Funny cunt. Yeah, great. So I go in once a week and get along with a PT guy. It's all good. But given the birth of my child, it's been a bit harder to go in. So it's like, all right. So I've backed up a few sessions. Backed up a few sessions.

So I get to go in there and do a few at once now. And so I went back and I'd been a couple of weeks away from it. And I went there the other day because it was one of the few times where I've been away from my wife for the last couple of weeks. I'm like, all right, I'm going to go in and do it. So I happened to go and I thought I'll do a bit of shopping on the way there, on the way back. I need to buy something on the way back.

I'll go buy groceries on the way. Stocked up with my backpack. Wait, you buy groceries on the way to the gym? Yes. You did it in that order? Yes. And nothing about that felt weird to you? Not on the way back.

I just wanted to do it that way. Just leave them city, leave meat, raw meat sitting in the locker room. Didn't say it was raw meat. I love the part where you walk down to the gym with your huggies under your arm. No, I had my backpack. I had my backpack on. Some bigger stringers. Bigger stringers.

I had my backpack on, right? So I got to the gym a little bit early. So I thought, well, I'll go shopping now, right? So I go in there. Get my yoga. Do a little bit early. So I thought, well, I'll go shopping now, right. So I go in there. Get my yoga. Do a little bit of a shop. Get my Dunkaroos. Yeah.

Formula for the baby, maybe. Yeah, yeah. Went in there, got my Cheetos. Slab. Got my Coco Pops, all Fruit Loops, everything. So I came out and I've got a real hankering for these supermarket chocolate biscuits they have now. Oh, you've talked about that before. I know.

I've talked about this before. I know. I've talked about this before. Last time you were on. Yeah. And sometimes you eat them and throw them in the bin when you're not happy with the formula. Consistency of it.

Yeah. I love a biscuit. Can you be more specific about the biscuit or are you not allowed to do that? No, no, no. I can do that. The ones, you know what?

I was specific last time I was saying the Coles ones. The cookies. I like the Woolworths ones as well. Wow. I mean the other way around. They make them in-house. the choc-chip ones. Yeah, they're the ones I love.

Yes, exactly. They're like crap for the kids. I swear to God, you get some of them in the ass, they're gone. They're insanely dense with chocolate chips, so I'm really into them, right. You can make them. I make biscuits. They're not hard. Yeah, but they're not as good as these. They're not as good as these. I'm thinking he's the one guy that's worked out how to make biscuits.

I'll teach you, mate. Old Mrs Fields over here. Sorry. Thanks, Betty Crocker. You make biscuits in kindergarten. You sound like every mum that's like, you don't have to buy a Mars bar. I can make one like that at home.

Why go to McDonald's? I'll make you a Big Mac. Sit down. Oh, mum, I don't want your Big Mac. I want your KFC. Exactly. So down. Oh, Mum, I don't want your Big Mac. I want your KFC. Exactly. So I go in, I do my little shop, and because I'm away from my wife,

I do have a very secret sweet tooth. I do like to go away and grab that sort of stuff and then eat on my own. You know what that's like. I think it's called bulimia. No, no, no, no. It doesn't go out again. Oh, you eat in the car.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I eat in the car and there's McDonald's wrappers and my wife gets in and I always blame Brad Oakes who's a large comedian. Some other comedian. Or Hughsey. Oh, Hughsey's been here again, aren't I? When you look at you and Hughsey,

you know who's been eating McDonald's. That's for sure. So anyway, so I buy that. And on top of the bag, I get my treat. I get my little five, six pack of chocolate biscuits, big chocolate biscuits, sweet. Finish that, go out to the gym, go, oh, I've got ten minutes. So I sit out the front of the gym. Oh, eating your biscuits.

And I eat all six chocolate, big, fat, thick chocolate biscuits. Eat all five of them. In view of the big window of the gym. No, no, no, no. Out in front of the pool, actually, that they've got next door. Oh, very nice. Everyone's having a swim, and I'm eating the chuggy biscuits. Just watching the world go by. no, no. Out in front of the pool, actually, that they've got next door. Oh, very nice. Everyone's having a swim and I'm eating the chocolate biscuits. Just watching the world go by.

Yes, lovely. Just in the car park. It's pretty sad. Shameful. Near the bin. So I go in. I've eaten six big chocolate biscuits. We go in.

And as I was talking about the other week, I'd hurt my back. Just with the advent of the baby, you're doing a lot more lifting, I guess. Yes. Are there about two kilos, these babies? Mine was four. Oh, yeah. Okay. What's the name again?

Is it Samantha? Comedia. Comedia Chandler. Tommy. Little Tommy. Comedy. Yes. So, I go in.

Why do you call her Samantha? I don't know. Sounds like a sexy baby. But anyway. So. Creepy. Creepy. Samantha's like a sexy name. We've all So creepy. Samantha's like a sexy nurse.

We've all of a sudden lost interest in this biscuit story. Get back to the back, boys. Get back to the back. You never hear that term. Step away from the sexy baby. Never heard that term ever. I want to fuck kids. Anyway, I'm eating a tiny teddy.

So anyway, get back to the biscuits. But I got us all back from lifting a kid. You're using different muscles in the morning. Isn't that a natural thing that you're bending at different angles? Your nipples hurt. You're picking up different stuff. Yeah, all that stuff. Twisting in and out of car seats.

That's true. I'm getting you, mate. My wife got an x-ray for something and you got a lot of damage in the lower back. And the doctor just said, that's just from kids. Just's normal there you go there you go so i've i've hurt my back i go in there uh reintroduce myself to my pt haven't seen him for three weeks or something like that great oh what do we do i said if you can just stay off the back that'd be great and he's like oh okay do you want to do this or no we'll do a few deadlifts i'm like mate honestly my back is no good let's just stay away from the back uh just if we can just isolate like upper body or something like that and he's like oh we can't do

too much upper body in one go i know and he just starts getting me to do heaps of cardio so then i'm just like heaps of exercise bike heaps of rowing like he's a personal trainer or something well usually we're doing a lot of usually we're doing a lot of lifting. You tell me this every now and then when you go, I went in and I said to him to go easy on me and then weirdest thing, he just didn't. He just went harder. It's like, how naive are you?

Well, I'm paying him. He should do what I tell him to do. Also, if he did do that, if he was like cool and went super easy on you, you'd have the same thing. You'd walk away and go, can't, I'm paying. Yes. Look, it goes up and down. Sometimes I want him to go harder sometimes.

You know, whatever. So I don't usually want him to do any cardio because I'm like, I can run myself. It's free just to run down the street. Yeah, true. It's free. I have to pay for weights. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

You know, so do that. So then he goes, but he like runs out of ideas of upper body stuff and whatever. So he's like, oh, we're just. he runs out of ideas of upper body stuff or whatever. So he's like, oh, we're just – He runs out of ideas. I guess so. Because then he's making me do all this cardio that I don't want to do. So he's fanging me on the rowing machine, fanging me on the bike,

but doing those really sprinty sort of stuff. Just go as hard as you can. Intervals. Hard as you can. Okay, well, I can't breathe anymore. No, go harder. Now do more. Do more.

I get out and I go, all right, that that'll do we do half an hour of it i walk out and i can feel every one of those chalk chips that has been in those fucking biscuits i start losing my fucking mind i'm so full of chocolate and cardio i walk i walk down the street to finish my shopping and i go in to um uh the baby shop and i and you ring me. Dave only rings me. And I'm talking to you on the phone and I don't know what the fuck's going on. And I didn't say this to you at the time because I was losing my – I was like I was having a stroke. But I couldn't understand what you were saying and I couldn't hear you.

My ears stopped working. One of my ears started working. Well, here's the thing. I didn't ring you. No, I remember ringing you in the baby shop. Yeah, because I was talking to you and I was like, do you even know that this is me? Because it didn't sound like me. I couldn't even hear my voice.

Yeah, you sounded distracted. I thought, because I heard a baby too. And then I said, oh, you've had the baby. I didn't know you had the baby. That's when you told me. Yeah, right. You had the baby, yeah. So I couldn't talk to you anymore because I was losing my mind. And then I was like, oh, I've got to get off the phone to you. I don't know what the fuck's going on. Just quickly, you must have looked insane.

I just realised you're on the phone, you're in a baby shop. Yes, sweating. And people hear you on the phone going, I had a baby. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we fucking worked that out, pal. And I'm doing laps of the shop as well. Because I'm trying to get off the phone to Dave O'Neill. I'm just by myself doing laps with groceries under my arms yeah and people looking at me going what's he

what's he doing i reckon you need more cookie yeah i reckon it's like low blood sugar or something fucking hell all right so i think this is genuinely very concerning to hear you not being able to hear and being this disoriented oh this is a nightmare in a baby shop and then but i'm shopping i want to buy something so i want to buy a baby Bjorn, like a thing where you carry your baby on the front of it. So I'm like, I get off the phone to you. They're quite expensive. By the time I get off the phone to you, I'm so fucked. I'm so fucked.

And I'm at the counter. And I said to the lady, I need, and I just pointed at them. I was like, I need one. I need one of them. A special person. Yeah. Have you got a baby? Yeah.

I need one of them. And she's like, oh a baby yeah I need one of them and she's like oh well you're clearly a discerning customer you've pointed at this one I was like I don't know what I'm pointing at anymore like just

I'll just have one of them and she's like okay and she starts talking me through all the pros and cons of all the baby borns

and all the whatever it is and she gets halfway through and I honestly I just go lady you have to stop. I don't know what's going on anymore.

I don't know what those things are. I don't know which ones they are. I need one of them because I'm going to be sick on your counter if I don't leave right now. And she goes, all right. Do you get a baby Bjorn? Yeah, just grabs one at random, gives it to me. She goes, usually people try them on.

I'm like, I'm not fucking trying it on. I said, I'm going to walk outside and go to that gutter and be sick right now. So just give me a baby Bjorn now. She goes, all right. All right, there you go. Getting aggro in the baby shop. Yeah. Everybody's allowed babies, mate.

She'll have had it before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. Sleep deprived Yeah Right yeah Probably not with the guys More the girls

More the girls And people do like Discussing every aspect Of every baby thing They buy Just a baby rucksack Just get the middle range Priced one

Yeah So were you sick? Yeah so then she runs over And like I just go Just give me the fucking baby I've got to go I've got to go I'm sitting in that gutter

And she goes alright So she runs and grabs it to me and then runs in the opposite direction. I'm like, what the fuck's going on here? She runs and just finds me a glass of water out of the middle of nowhere and runs back and goes, there you go. Have that. All right, fuck. And then I just go outside and sit in the gutter opposite the whatever it's called.

The groceries. The baby shop. And just sit in the gutter for like 20 minutes. With my groceries and my baby bill and sitting next to me. People driving up. Do you reckon his wife's left him? Yeah. This story has a combined total of about half an hour

where you're just sitting in the street by yourself looking insane. You just are a homeless person. I'd said to my wife I was going to do some PT and come back. I was gone for like two and a half hours. Sounds like you're at the peak of your physical fitness, mate. Oh man, it was a fucking nightmare. I've never felt so ill and distressed. Were you sleep deprived?

No, no. I was just full of fucking chocolate biscuits and cardio. That's all. You liked eating cookies outside a gym. How's this for good? My husband in the 80s, he was a goalkeeper and he used to smoke when the ball was at the other end. He used to take his gloves off,

have a cig. Love it. Keep it down there a bit longer. Georgie, as a nurse, hearing those symptoms of Carl Chandler in that story, what would your diagnosis be? Without using the R word, if possible. You could go for dehydration with that,

couldn't you? Or the hyperventilate in my assentium a bit. What would your advice be if you were dealing with me at the baby centre right now? I don't see the point in exercising to the point where it makes you sick. Do you know what I mean? Where's the joy? Where's the getting better? I don't think it was exercising that did it.

I think it was more the combo. You think it was the cookies right before. Oh, exactly. Completely. Don't say to me like I'm dumb. You're the one that did it. Yeah. You should it was the cookies right before. Oh, exactly. Completely. Don't say to me like, I'm dumb. You're the one who did it. You should do Pilates. I do Pilates, man. Can you eat chocolate biscuits before

Pilates? Yeah, of course you can. Can you? Some people do Pilates. Anyone can do it. I walk in now with people who don't know. I always go, alright girls, I'm the new instructor today. You see the look on their faces. I'm like, what the fuck? I did Pilates for a bit i started when i was about 15 i was pretty chubby in high school and the first time i went in there

the lady went oh what do you want to what do you want to work on like what do you achieve i'm like oh i'd like to lose a bit of weight like this could be the start of it and she goes yeah i mean look you're pretty broad so there's only so much we can do and it's like I think that is the source of a lot of long standing body really pretty broad a Pilates instructor going you're very broad

but you're not that broad she said like broad shoulder and barrel chested really I don't think you're barrel chested mate

thanks guys you know what that does remind me of something that's always stuck with me I remember like having a friend of mine and when I was a teenager,

and I was a very skinny teen, very skinny teen. Must be nice. Yeah. Way to rub it in. Old, fat, and skinny over here. There's people like you that made me feel like shit. Yeah, yeah. Well, so I remember just sort of, you know,

when you look at yourself in the mirror for too long and you're still trying to figure out what your body's like and whatever, and I was like, I was saying to my dad, dad oh my friend oh you know my my mate here um i'm like i've got potential in my body to sort of be built like him don't i've got the potential to put on weight and have a bit of muscle and he his answer was he just laughed in my face really actually laughed at me and just went no not at all wow yeah so i've always had that sitting with me that's why you're in PT is to get strong enough to kick your dad's ass. Yeah, that's why I'm trying to bulk up out the front with six Woolworths chocolate biscuits.

To beat up an 80-year-old man. It is crazy, though, those things that you realise that, yeah, someone said to you a decade ago. Yeah. And you've just never been able to let go. Well, you've let go, but it's like you can then trace it back and it's like affecting you. I wonder if I've done that to someone. I wonder if I've said something.

Probably. I think people have told me stories, Carl. Some young open mic. I've done a bit of defending, if you know what I mean. Oh, thank you. There's a few people that are probably locked up in maximum security at the moment. Well, if I made anyone quit comedy, you're welcome.

You're welcome to them not being in comedy anymore and you're welcome to everyone who didn't have to listen to them do comedy anymore. The king of the instant rebrand. Anything can get thrown at you and you can turn it into a positive personality trait within seconds. I tell you, when I was a kid, my dad went on a tour of the special school because he wanted to send me and my twin there. That's a true story. So we were a bit slow in primary school.

And he goes, all right. And so we had a special school down the road from us, and dad went on a tour. And he came back and he said, I don't know, boys. He goes, you could be school captain of that joint. You know? Like, you know. He thought, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because then he tried to send us to the tech. He goes You could be school captain Of that joint You know Like you You know He's like

He thought Yeah yeah yeah Because then Then he tried to send us To the tech So I'm talking the 70s So you either went To the high school

Or the tech Yeah yeah yeah That's classic Marabara Yeah yeah yeah And he said He wanted us to go to tech You can either read Or do woodwork

That's one or the other Yeah exactly And we forward him And we want to forward him But we said We're not going We're going to the high school Yeah

Oh too good for the tech But you were nearly in the special school. Yeah, nearly in the special school. Lardy, duh. God. Went on the tour. Yeah, I remember that. He went on the tour, you had to get... No, he went on the tour.

No, we didn't go on the tour. What did you do that was so wrong that he thought you were a potential for there? Oh, no, they were going to keep us down. I remember when we started prepping Canberra because Dad was in the Air Force. Did you know that twins wasn't a disability? That's just a natural thing that happens. I remember in prep when we finished our first book we stood up in front of the class and everyone clapped

like it was a major achievement. Oh, you just read a book by yourself. Yeah, when we finished our first like John, run John, run. Was everyone else still in prep or were they in grade 6 by then? In that spot, give it up everyone else still in prep or were they in grade six by then? In that spot. Give it up, everyone. We were like really late developers because mum saw when we both finished HSC,

you know, VC, and we both got into uni, mum saw our grade six teacher and she said, oh, how was David and Glenn? She said, you won't believe it. They're going to university. And she goes, I knew it. I knew they had it in them somewhere. They said the same thing about Einstein.

Exactly. So when did you get clever then? No, no, not till high school, I reckon. Not even high school. Yeah. They don't let you be clever

in primary school, I reckon. Yeah. It's all singing and imagination shit. Yeah, running around. And then you've blossomed into an intelligent adult

who tried to talk Eric Banner out of doing Chopper. Yeah. That's exactly right. I did. Dirty John. Don't do that, Eric. exactly right I did Dirty John don't do that Eric what are you doing Dirty John for

I haven't spoken to him for a while yeah we've got to get him on this show you're our only link to him yeah well I'll ask him he lives in Melbourne

he lives in Melbourne a lot but I haven't seen him for like a maybe a year and a half two years that's the book Out the Castle

isn't it yeah I used to work with him on Full Frontal a lot we both started the same year in comedy in 1990.

So we're both young comics. You catch up with your Nugget reunion every year, don't you? The Nugget. The Nugget 2 starts filming in about a month. That'll be good. Yeah, great. It'll just be on my phone. Great.

Excellent. Yeah. I think he's done all right, Eric. Yeah, no, he's all right. We've got to make that happen. Oh, it'll be good. But yeah, I'll ask him. I'm going to ring him.

I'm going to watch All Dirty John and I'm going to ring him and congratulate him. Yeah. Yeah. Man. But is he funny? Does he want to be funny anymore? I don't know. Eric.

Oh, no. If he got the right offer, I think he would because it was nothing funny when he... What did he do? I don't know. I don't mean offer. I mean, if we got him on here, would he be funny or would he be serious? He's still got funny in him. Yeah.

He's got funny in him. But yeah, you've got to get it out of him probably. You can't knock funny out of somebody, can you? Yeah. If we had him and you together, that'd be great. Yeah. Yeah, well, I'll ask him. Yeah.

You'd keep him for your own podcast, but yeah. No, no, I wouldn't. No, you could then drive him back and do your podcast. Do the debrief. Yeah. Yes. What's the name of your podcast is? The Debrief.

The Debrief, yeah. You do a podcast where? The debrief. The debrief, yeah. You do a podcast where you talk to a comedian on your way home from a gig. Yeah, both you guys have done it. You haven't been on it yet, Georgie. I haven't been on it yet. Yeah, but I haven't done a gig with you yet. No, I know. This is our first meet, isn't it?

Yeah. So what about this? So we do a very successful podcast, guys. So Georgie, you don't have one. Dave, you've got one. It's not as successful as ours. Mine's not as successful as yours, no. We announced another podcast that's coming along with us

to the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival this week and we were sort of sizzling it up going, who could it be? And there were a lot of people thinking that it was going to be Dave O'Neill doing the debrief in the back of a tuk-tuk, which would have been pretty great. Or going to the festival and just doing it, doing like about nine podcasts on the way home on the Boeing.

I've got to go sit with Kappa now. Thanks for that. I've got to go back into the luggage department to do one with Kappa. You're trying to crowdfund him as well, aren't you? We are. So we should talk about that. We should mention it briefly that we are going to London in a couple of months and we're trying to crowdfund.

Off the back of a suggestion from a listener in London, we're trying to crowdfund Nick Kappa to come to London with us as a guest. On a cheap airfare? Because London don't have any entertainers or comedians. Yeah, on a long... We're trying to get in the stupidest way possible. Yeah, just to buy China. Buy China, then to Russia, then train from Russia.

Yeah, just really massive. And if we hit this certain goal, he'll wear the same tuxedo for the entire trip. Instead of normally where he just wears the same t-shirt for a week. Go the Orient Express. Go the one from Beijing to Moscow. We're spending more money. If we flew him direct, it would cost us a lot less money than the fucked up way that we're sending him.

At the moment, it's Melbourne to Shanghai flight, then bus from Shanghai to Beijing, then a flight from Beijing to the Ukraine, then the train from the Ukraine to London. It's a two and a half day train trip from Ukraine to London. He's going to be filming stuff. People want to chip in. It's all over our social media. It's all over that sort of stuff. If you want to chip in, we're well on our way to our goal.

It's longer than watching all the extended cuts of Lord of the Rings and the bonus features. Isn't worth it. You'll have Dumb Dumb fans in the Ukraine. You get them to do a whistle stop. I can't imagine. I can't imagine. No, if your show's quite... You'd be surprised.

Look at that man. Any capper in the Yukon? Yeah, there'd be some in France, surely. Folks, any listeners in the Ukraine, hit us up. Hit us up. Please, I'd love to. Well, here's the other development. So you can do that and Kappa's going to be filming stuff.

I think he's going to do his own private Facebook group. Yeah, I think it's for $5 you get access to a little Facebook group where he'll keep you updated. And then $20 is he's going to do a shout-out to you. And then for $40 you can give him little missions to do. Yeah, so there's a lot of videos and stuff he'll be doing for that. And, of course, the whole goal of it all is he'll have a heap of content for us when he gets to London and he's still in that fucking stinking tuxedo

or whatever happens. Crosses the finish line. Yeah. Fantastic. So that should be great. But on top of that, I believe, now this is not confirmed at the moment, but I believe we went to dinner with a friend of the show, Milan, our eccentric Serbian millionaire, Milan.

Gun right. Yes. So he has now got wind of this whole concept of us going to London. Now he wants us – we had drinks with him. Mid-drinks, he started ringing Serbian comedy clubs to book us in to do a show in Serbia before we get to London. In Belgrade. Yes, in Belgrade.

So as we're talking to him, he rings up a Belgrade comedy club and books us in and goes, we get to London. In Belgrade. Yes, in Belgrade. So he, as we're talking to him, he rings up a Belgrade comedy club and books us in and goes, we're doing it and we're like, oh, we just,

we can go to Serbia and have like a beer or something if you want. He's like, nah, we're doing a show. It's like, what do you mean we? So he,

all of a sudden, he's booked in this show. He's like, right, Tommy will do 20 minutes, you'll do 20 minutes and then for 20 minutes all three of us

will sit on stage and be funny I'm like Mate Check Check Check the birth certificate Of a kid

I'm the entertainer You're not a fucking entertainer What would he put on His birth certificate Yeah so he's Just wedged himself Into the mix But what are you going to do

He's like I'm Serbian I can speak Serbian I'll be good They'll understand What I'm saying You'll do local stuff Yeah

Do that other gig in the back garden It's your choice mate That's a very good way of putting it These two gigs They get offered to me On the exact same day So it really puts it into perspective Serbia

Have either of you been to Serbia? No Been to Czechoslovakia My brother lived there for a while The Red Cross one lived there for a while Croatia Yeah it's a nice part of the world But yeah I don't know.

I don't have to be many dum-dum fans. I'm thinking more Ukraine. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, exactly. I don't think we've got any listeners. Please, if anyone listens to us in Serbia or even anywhere close, I'm so worried about this.

It's actually ruined this trip for me. I was really looking forward to going to London, and now I'm like, fuck, I don't want to go and just die in Serbia in both ways. Fuck. It's not dangerous anymore. Just say no. Is it not that easy? Do you not just say no? Now I'm like, fuck, I don't want to go and just die in Serbia in both ways. Fuck. It's not dangerous anymore. Just say no.

It's not that easy. It's not that easy to say no to Milan, to our friend Milan. Did I hear you say gun runner at some point? He's like a promoter of Serbian guns. He's a man that spends a lot of money and we often used to wonder where it was coming from. So we started making up reasons why he might have it. It's like the guy who made The Room. No one knows where the money came from.

Yes. Was he selling jeans? Exactly. It does sound like an episode of Banked Up Abroad. Do you know what I mean? I'm really worried for you. No, I'm worried too. Doing one of these things warps your whole outlook on life.

As this was all kicking off while we were drinking, Carl, you were like, oh, I don't know. And I'm like, hey, look, we've got three London shows that we need content for three days after when this Serbian thing would happen. Who cares? If we die in the arse, that's a whole show's worth of content. And if one of us dies, the other one gets to talk about it for three shows. So that's something.

And Cap is there, so he can take over. So that's something. There's a lot of expats there, aren't there? Serbia? No, none. Oh, none there. I know London we've got no problem with. London's something. There's a lot of expats there, aren't there? Serbia. No, none there. I know London we've got no problem with. London's fine.

By the time this comes out, I don't know whether we'll still be on sale for our third and final show. But, I mean, have a look. But we sold out two shows immediately. We put a third one on. It sold out over half of it in the last day. So when this comes out, we'll see. We'll see what happens. Yeah.

But, yeah, so the podcast's going all right. Dave, you've got your podcast going all right. I don't know if you make much money off your podcast. Zero money off it. You don't have much advertising. You don't have Patreon. You don't have the middleman or anything like that. No, no. I just do it for the love.

I just love it. Yeah, right. Of course. Yes. People do ask me, I say, look, every podcast I do, I get five grand. That's my minimum fee. They're like, really? I'm like, no.

No. So we have Patreon, as we discussed at the top and the back of each episode. That's a way for the listeners to be able to fund our lifestyle. Our lavish lifestyle. Sitting in the gutter. Yes, exactly. That's how I can afford chocolate biscuits. Tommy's electronic drum kit here.

Yes, exactly. It's like Chudo Eka are about to turn up, isn't it? He's got's electronic drum kit here. Yes, exactly. That's like Chudo Ekera about to turn up, isn't it? He's got like an electronic drum kit. Where's Pierre Pierre? Would it be less weird if I had a full non-electric drum kit sitting here in this apartment building? No, no, no. I haven't seen one of them for a long time.

How much was that worth? That's a personal question. It's a very personal question. Before you got here, we should have said, why don't you come to Funky Flat? Bring your keytar and we'll jam. I'm going three grand. No, less than three grand.

That's good for less than three grand. Well, that's the sort of money you get with Patreon money. So we usually talk about it. You and I should jam sometime, by the way. Oh, yeah, I'd love to. Get the bass out. We usually talk about this stuff at the top or the back of each episode, but a lot of people subscribe to us.

I know. I've met some. Very nice of them to do that. I've met some. So we've got a new one. Usually I save this for the end of the episode, but I'm going to bring it into the guts of the episode because this is so good.

Now, we have got a recent subscriber. The check hasn't even cleared yet, but I'm so confident in it, I'm happy to read it out right now. Yeah, great. Interesting. So I got a text message and a picture this week that reads as follows. Hey, fellas, this is Juggernaut. He is a highly regarded bull within the beef community.

I have recently sold his semen, and I'm going to use the money wisely by becoming a Patreon subscriber. Fantastic. He's just signed Juggernaut up. He goes, as the subscriber, as his load is literally paying for it. Wow.

And one day he will be read out on the podcast and will be appreciated for his contributions. We're now being sponsored by Animal Spoof. But, you know, Cap will tell you, bulls are big, like in those really areas where he grew up, remote. They have posters of bulls on the wall and stuff. There's like legendary bulls like that one.

Juggernaut. Yeah, Juggernaut. Juggernaut, yeah. That's a great name. That's a great name for the next baby. For what? For your next baby. Juggernaut Chandler.

Yeah, you have to name your next kid after this bull semen sponsor. Can I name my occupation after him? Yeah. Juggernaut. Put his father's occupation, Juggernaut. Podcasting Juggernaut. Yeah, yes. Yeah, comedy Juggernaut.

Yeah, you're right. I've got to put podcasting or comedy Juggernaut. If I just say Juggernaut, they might think that my kid's father is this bull. Yeah, or they might think you're one of the American gladiators or something. Or an X-Men villain. Yeah. Do you get bull semen in the way? I think you get it if you're a farmer.

It's a job. I've done gigs in the country and they always say, talk to that guy, he's jobby, he's a semen. They've got a word they use. It could be a semen. Mouth on his sleeve. Talk to that guy it's like in Dumb and Dumber

when he goes I milked the cow we don't have a cow but a bull the greatest joke ever yeah there's

semen they always go talk to that guy I've heard it a few times in the country and he's a semen I don't know producer or

something he I don't know how they get the semen out of the bull yeah I don't know but they collect it you don't know how well I don't think they do or something. I don't know how they get the semen out of the bull. Yeah, I don't know. But they collect it. You don't know how. Well, I don't think they do it by hand.

I don't know if they made a machine that does that. Really? I reckon they might. That's the luckiest bull in the world. Why haven't they marketed that to humans? Yeah, exactly. If you can make a machine that gets that out of you, humans would have used it by now.

I don't believe it. We didn't make sex robots. Yeah, exactly. It's just a flashlight. Can you make a sex... A flashlight, yeah. Can you make a sex cow robot for the bull to use? I don't know.

A big pocket pussy for the bull to start fucking. Yeah, exactly. A big cow handkerchief. How do they get semen? No matches. Just let me finish. You don't want to be Googling stuff like that, mate. Ask Siri, yeah.

So how much is Juggernaut spoof putting in? Oh, I haven't checked the amount Damn, I love this bull, dude Do we know what part of the... Can we go meet him? Can we go meet the bull? Oh, I'll find out I want to go for a ride, dude

Oh my god It is by hand By hand So they've got a diagram I could imagine it wouldn't be Put the semen collector up to the bull's penis Place it far enough so that the tip of the penis is near the entrance to the test tube. Yeah, keep going.

And continue stimulation until the bull ejaculates. Oh, my God. What's our Patreon called? So the bull's juggernaut. Who's his helper? What's the thing? Obviously this guy. What's his name?

Obviously this guy is the guy who's getting it out. Because if he's selling it, he's getting it out himself. Yeah, because cows taste good and he's making more of it. How do you get that job on the farm? Is it a desired job? I'd go desired. Well, if it's that lucrative, I mean, Kappa would have done that job before.

Just for fun. Yeah. Son, we don't need this anymore. It'd be less weird than doing a person. Wouldn't loads of people do that for a living? Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, if that guy had written in and went, yeah, I jacked off my son and now I'm using the money

from his sperm to subscribe on Patreon. Block, delete. Yeah, yeah, wrong podcast. No, right podcast. We just don't appreciate it. We'd be like, thanks, man, but no offence. We're not going to read this out on the show. I would be because I'd be like, wow, who's your son?

How much would you charge for doing that? Mr Comedy. Yeah. Yeah, how much would he charge for this? Yeah, like how much would I have to pay you to do that to a cow? To bring out a guy who jacked off his son. No, no, to do a cow. To jack off a cow. To get some. To do a cow. To do a bull.

To get some semen from a cow. Oh, okay. You know, if we can... Can you see where Juggernaut is? Where he is? Where he lives. Where he lives. I think we've got an idea of sending somebody on location.

If we could work out... It would be my honour to go and beat off Juggernaut. Oh, really? Learn how to get bull semen to learn how to do it. Now, you can't say that and not mean it. I do it. It's a job that people do. Okay, all right.

I do it. I wear gloves and shit. It's not that weird. This is it. I think it's important. Please, guys, leave him alone. I've contributed a lot of stories to this show over the years. Yeah.

Tommy, it's his time to shine. Exactly. He's going to jack off a bull for this podcast. We're making money off it. I'm prepared to sink for my supper. Imagine if you're really good at it. Juggernaut's dad. Juggernaut's dad.

You leave this podcast. What happened to Tommy Dessler? He's a full on bull jerker operator. And then the debate with my dad changes. It's like put comedian instead of bull jerker operator on your occupation. The debate changed all right.. It's like, put comedian instead of on your occupation. The debate changed, all right. Sounds a lot like debate. Good on him. Best job.

Best job in the world. It's the least I could do for the little fella. Please, for the little fella. By the money we got, I think it's a big fella. How much is he putting in? We don't want to broadcast it, but is he? I can't figure it out from here because I've got the message, but it's not synced in with the emails that I get.

If you whack off Juggernaut, I'll listen to that whole podcast. Without looking, without having any other tabs open. You've got to record that. I found it. I found it. I found it. Right. Oh, fuck.

It couldn't be that good. It's $5 a month. He's gone with the money I've made. Wow, you jerked off a bull and got $5. Could have signed the amateur after a while, no? Hey, we don't know what the going rate is. That might be the monster in the spirit community. Your wife would probably pay you $10 to not do it.

Get your wife to sponsor the podcast instead of getting her husband to walk into random fields And jerk off farm animals Yeah look I'll come in and do it But you've got to double it to ten for that month If I'm going to come in and do this Yeah I want more than $10 I want more than $2.50 for the month for going and doing that

We've got to get to a stage where it covers your travel expenses Yes yes Get it up to the cost of a V line somewhere And Tommy will jerk off Juggernaut. I'll do Nick Holak and so they do. A lot of it happens down there. That's where I met someone. I'm not just jerking off any old bull.

It has to be this big. Oh, Juggernaut. I've only got eyes for Juggernaut. Juggernaut could be Queensland, Juggernaut. The pennant bowl. Fuck, I hope Juggernaut is in Victoria. That's the next possible. Get in Capit to London and then paying for my expenses to go jack off a bull. No, jack off Juggernaut is in Victoria. That's the next possible. Get in Capit to London and then paying for my expenses to go jack off the board.

No, it's just a waiting game. If it's $5 a month, let's just wait until we'll find out exactly how much it costs to travel to wherever Juggernaut is. Okay. And as soon as those months tick by where it adds up to make it a return trip on V-Line to visit Juggernaut, we go then. Then I'll go do it. I'm the counselling. I'll put in $50 now for youine to visit Juggernaut, we go then. Then I'll go do it. And the counselling.

I'll put in 50 bucks now for you to go to Juggernaut. I love Juggernaut. You go and jerk off a ball and then we'll talk. I just don't know if I could. Yeah. I don't think I'd be very good at it.

Also, I want to know... I think I'd be pretty good at it. Yeah. You reckon? I've got some pretty good moves down. A lot of practice. A lot of practice. What's the reverse?

How's it? I know the reverse grip. No, I go overarm. I know there's not a right lot of point to it, but is the fee different for a woman cow? Oh, yeah. How much semen can you get out of a woman cow? You can't.

I don't know what we... What would I charge to stand there in a field For all eternity Working a cow's been That would be a good challenge Yeah If someone wants to pay Tommy To

Masturbate a cow I guess we could I guess we could do that Look guys I'll fuck all creatures Great and small Okay If you want to see a cow come

Give us some money And we'll send Tommy out We've got to get our best man on The sheep. I've never seen a cow's clitoris actually. Oh, no. Do they get them? I don't know if they have them.

If they're not going to have fun, do they get one? Yeah. 42 had never seen a cow's clitoris. I know. You haven't lived. Google it. Sheltered. Grew up on a farm and everything, but we didn't have any cows.

What did you have? Hobby farm. Chickens. I had one of them as well. There wasn't a lot of animals To jerk off It was just You know Just hay

Hay to bail You can't really jerk off Loosen I had a horse And we had to pick Mud off its penis Oh Pick

A horse Like I had a horse Just rode horses And you had to pick mud Off its Yeah yeah When you've been out For a canter

And they've had the Penises out You have to pick the drum Were you in the room with the closest... And the horse's penis was hitting the ground. Must be nice. No, it was just a thing you did. I would have been about 12 or something.

Flicked up. Would have flicked up. Just did not question it. Right. Just picked the mud off. Yeah. Didn't set unrealistic expectations for you later in life or anything like that? I've seen so many dicks because they have hospital and things.

Yeah. No, you shouldn't worry about your own. Any of you... Everybody's pretty similar. Why did you look at me when you like that? I've seen so many dicks because they have hospital and things. You shouldn't worry about your own. Any of you. Why did you look at me when you said that? We're only worried about juggernauts and how much money it's making us. Yeah, they're all pretty similar. Right.

Yeah, there's not that many surprises. Every one of them, if you jerk it off, is about five bucks. It's not too far off. Yeah, you've got to make your money somehow. Yeah. Jerking off penises for five dollars, it does remind me to put in the ad for, if you want to come to the Coastal Millie International Podcast Festival,

guys, come over this year. It's June 11th until 16th. I charge you about the same over there from what I hear. Well, yeah, we've got to work on this. I gladly, and I am serious about this, I will go. I will meet Juggernaut. I will. We did a radio interview not long ago today.

What's the next big idea was one of his questions. Yeah, we were asked, what's the next big idea? And we were also asked, what were you most proud of? I think both answers are this right now. Both answers. You'd imagine there's rules around who can and can't touch a cow's penis. Really?

Otherwise, it's just going to be weirdos, isn't it, going for the job? Or podcasters. Yeah. Yeah, but I mean, you have to make an exception. Hey, you can be both. You can. My grandpa worked in.

He was a stock and station agent. I just want to do him proud, you know? Yeah, he'd be proud. Yeah, he'd be proud of that. Me watching on from heaven, me making a bull bust all over my face. Wiping it off with a $5 bill.

Imagine him watching you. Oh, he's going to the country. He's on a farm. Oh my God, what's he doing? I'm dressed up like a cowboy too. I've got a big hat on. Oh, he's finally made it. He's a bull. Tommy, it's not milk.

What can I say? I've been playing a lot of Red Dead Redemption 2 and I just wanted to take what I've learned into the real world. Oh, God. You thought that was a simulator, did you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, guys. Well, we've got to wrap it up for another week.

Georgie and Dave, thank you so much for joining us. Oh, thanks for having me. Can't wait. So, Georgie, you've got shows coming up in Comedy Festival yeah at the basement the European Beer Cafe

oh that's good yeah it's amazing and your show's called Georgie Carol treat yourself just type in nurse just go on Comedy Festival and just type in nurses

two nurses well the one's miserable so it's Georgie right I love it very nice I can't think who the other one would be I can't either I'll tell you after I can't think who the other one

would be I can't either I'll tell you after okay we'll find out if she sings I'll stop now anyone can find out if they just

look it up Dave what have you got I'm doing the comedy festival I'm doing the Grandview the fun house on Friday and Sunday nights so it's going to be

where's that people don't know what that is that's a pub how have you been on radio for so many years? I've got sacked, remember? You're not even as professional as us.

We're offering to go and jerk off bulls in fucking paddocks somewhere. Oh, they would love that one. Come on. Take a few free lessons here. Meatball's done it again. That's very Triple M. That's very Triple M, jerking off a cow. No, that's...

Yeah, yeah. Mmm. That's Triple M. Have a listen to what Tommy did this morning. Mmm. Rock sports, see me. You're in Triple M. Have a listen to what Tommy did this morning. Rock sports, team it. You're Triple M. Well, I think I know what the secret sound is.

What animals have you messed about? So the Grandview Hotel is in Fairfield in Melbourne. I do a regular comedy night. And so I host it and we've got Oaksies on, Des Dowling, and special guests Friday, Saturday nights during the comedy festival. Great. But also do a podcast. If you want to see Dave O'Neill during the comedy festival,

go and see his own, not variety, your own... It's a variety show. Yeah, showcase show. It's a good night out. The gig is called Dave O'Neill's Comedy Funhouse, which, and I'm sure we've said this on the show before, is a gig, you named the gig that because of us jokingly telling you that you should do this.

Yes, that's right. That's exactly right. And it's been running for about six years. And it was a while ago, yeah, yeah. But I also do a podcast with Glenn Robbins called Somehow Related, which is a good fun podcast. And The Debrief, which a lot of friends of the show have been on. Yes, that's right.

You guys have been on? Yep. A lot of podcasting, Georgie. A lot of podcasting. Get into it. It's a lot of money, but yeah, sure. No podcasting. Five grand every time I do one.

I heard that. Yeah, nice. All right, guys, we've got all our stuff on sale at littled. I heard that. Yeah. Nice. All right, guys. We've got all our stuff on littledumbdumbclub.com. We'll see you after this for Talking Dumb Dumb. But guys, thanks for listening

and we'll see you next time. See you, mate. See you, Paws. And blow me down, they've done it again. I have to say, every week I disagree with you, but this week I agree.

Yeah. Wow, I finally got you on side. Yeah, you finally cracked me. Interesting. I've done it again. All it was was me threatening to jack off a bull, and finally you're ready to agree with me that we've done it again. That was my favorite bit.

Man, I hope that happens. Whoever hit me up, please, let's follow this up. Let's make this happen. I looked up where he lives, and a fair bit of travel time for me to go jack off that bull. Lots of time on the plane to reflect about what I've just done. Really? Yeah.

Why didn't you do that on the app? I just went into our messages and then went onto his page. I forget where I got the message from. Oh, it's on our account. Right. On the Dumb Dumb Facebook page. Oh, okay. I thought I got a text from him.

No. Yeah, right. Okay. What were you reading it off when you read it on the show? No, I don't have it in front of me now, so I don't know A napkin that you transcribed it onto Yeah He is in WA

Oh So I'm going to be, I'm going to drive I'm going to drive across the Nullarbor Okay, well, you know, next time we do a Perth show Maybe we'll just have to fast forward our next Perth show Okay Yeah, we usually go there like The ball jacking off extravaganza Yeah, we usually, and I, next time we do a Perth show, maybe we'll just have to fast forward our next Perth show. Okay. Yeah. We usually go there like... The ball jacking off extravaganza.

Yeah, we usually... And I've been meaning to do this or bring this up with you. We should be fast forwarding. We should bring the Perth show forward. Yeah. I think. You have brought it up with me. Yeah.

Well, let's do it. Let's do it. Yeah. Because I can't wait. Somewhere between June 11 and 16 would be good for me. I've got nothing on. I've got this nagging feeling've got this nagging feeling. This very nagging feeling.

But enough about the wife. Yeah, let's make it happen. I'm very excited about this. Yeah, me too. I'm way too excited to see a man jack off an animal. Well, I was kind of thinking that we wouldn't be able to combine it with doing a Perth show, that I would just have to go by myself. And I'm like, look, I'd have to spend a lot of money, but at least there'd be no witnesses.

Like, I'd film it, but at least I wouldn't have to have you there. How close to Perth is this place? I don't know. I didn't look that far into it. Okay. Right. Okay. Yeah, we'll work it out.

We'll work it out. It'll be good fun. Hit us up. But speaking of live shows, we teased it at the start of the ep, and we're here now to come good on that promise that we made to talk about it in the back end of the show. So we've got a couple of dates that are in the diary. They are not quite on sale yet, but they will be within the next week if you keep your eye on the socials.

Get onto, if you're one of those people that love the show, connect with us on the social media. We've got Facebook, we've got Twitter, we've got Instagram, and we sort of put a lot of our bonus content on there. Or we've got a fan page on Facebook, but we've got a little private group called People Aware of the Little Dun Dun Club where you can go in and post all your own stuff.

The fan page isn't enough, guys. You've got to get into the group. It's our way, like many people, of subverting the algorithm that tries to fuck everyone in the ass who runs some kind of business on Facebook. Yeah, and you can get in there and just every time you see anything that has the number 69 in it, you can just take a photo of it and put it up there and drive everyone crazy, and then I delete it after 10 minutes.

Boy, the admin's working overtime on the little Tum Tum Club Facebook page. Why did you delete my 69 post? Because we've all fucking seen it, cunt. And everyone gets mad when they see it for a million times a day. Hey guys, Kappa stinks.

That's fine. From Kay Chandler. But we have something to announce now. We are doing two very requested cities in recent times. Sydney, we've got a date locked in for that, July the 27th, Saturday, July the 27th. We're going to do a big live show with stand-up as well. So keep your eyes peeled for tickets to that Yeah, that's a long way in advance

More than we usually do So you've got plenty of time And Sydney, yeah, look We get messages from you guys a lot It is shameful that we only come there once a year Given how close it is And how many of you guys are constantly squawking at us to get there. It just ends up being like the year fills up so quickly.

But, yeah, that is locked in well in advance. So get your tickets, keep an eye out. Remember when we used to go to Adelaide twice a year? And now we don't go once a year? Yeah, yeah. So that is happening. Then the very next day we are going to hop on a train and we are going to be doing a live podcast somewhere we've never done one before

in the beautiful city of Newcastle. Yes, first time. So as always, we're a little bit concerned going somewhere new for the first time. So yeah, guys, from what we feel on the socials and the feedback we get, we feel like there's a lot of people in Newcastle that are into it. So make sure you come along. It's on a Sunday afternoon. So bring a mate, do whatever you can to fill it up

because this is your chance to make sure we come back again. Yeah, hoping that there's a few newies that do the Dirty Double, the big Sydney show on the Saturday and then the Sunday afternoon recovery session. Or, you know, I'll put this... I haven't talked to you about this, but I'm happy to put this thread out there. We, you know, if people don't buy them quick and all of a sudden, you know, we're a couple of months out and you're pulling a bit of an Adelaide,

happy to pull the show. Yeah. So, yeah, get into it. Get some tickets. Make sure we think it's worth doing because it's the first time. It's the first time we've gone out into the regional areas of New South Wales. So, yeah, happy to stick to the capital cities if you don't want to come. But, yeah, let us know with your ticket buying.

Yep. So looking forward to that. Like we said, keep an eye on all the social media accounts during the week. They will be firing up. Newcastle. Exciting. Potentially exciting. Yeah, you've been.

I've been. The last time we were both there, we both did stand-up gigs, but like a week apart. Like just by coincidence, we were both doing different gigs, but yeah, a week or two weeks apart. I've actually, I just started to think, I started to say two stories about Newcastle, but then I'm like, why the fuck would I say them now? I'll save them for Newcastle. But yeah, I've been there twice.

I've been there twice for a couple of interesting stories. You've been there twice? Yeah. Both for comedy? No. Okay. No, I went there once. It was a slightly interesting story before that.

Yeah, before comedy. Give it a little, ooh, before you did comedy. Yeah. Ooh. Yeah, anyway. Well, I look forward to being berated online after we do that episode and you've forgotten to tell that story. No, no, I'll get on to it.

It's nothing special, but it's interesting. That happens in the Facebook groups a lot, where people will go and listen to an episode from two years ago and go, oh, yeah, here you are just saying this, you fucking idiots. It's like, yeah, it's almost as if we can't see into the future. Yeah, yeah, I love people. That'll be fun. Yeah, a lot of live dates coming up.

It's going to be fun. I love doing comedy in front of people. I love traveling around with you, Carl. Yeah, it's fun. It's a great time. What a life. We're like a little, we're like a band now. Yes.

Well, you know, like we said, top of the show, you know, we're doing the Brisbane show with mostly standing. I mean, that's going to be fucking interesting. That's going to be, yeah. That's a new, we're always looking for new things to do. Doesn't matter if they're good ideas or not. Yeah. be, yeah. That's going to be. We're always looking for new things to do. It doesn't matter if they're good ideas or not. Yeah. Okay, a couple of other things we should mention.

The May podcast in London. So we talked, what was it, last? Was it last week or the week before about the Kappa Possible account? Yep. To fundraise to get him over. We have hit the target. We have smashed the target the great man is now going to be traveling over to the uk with us to take part in these live

podcasts in the most fucked way that we can find for him to get there now if you still want to contribute because it's not just about meeting the target we have gone past the target of making sure he comes over of covering the airfare we've now now got to a point that we defined a number that if he hit that number, he will be doing the whole thing in a tuxedo, meaning he's flying to Beijing. It's flight to, I believe it's Melbourne to Shanghai, bus from Shanghai to Beijing. Which we looked up last night and I believe it's like a 12-hour bus ride or something. Amazing. Then fly from Beijing to the Ukraine and then train from Ukraine to London. How long is the train from Ukraine to London?

Two days. Two days? Yes. God damn. Yeah. That's great. He's going to have to leave in the middle of the Melbourne Comedy Festival to sink it all up in time. What about something like, so we're trying to come up with like different,

like, yeah, stretch goal things for certain amounts, other fucked stuff we can make him do. We're trying to brainstorm some last night. Yeah, so he. We could have something where he's only allowed to watch, that's so much travel time, a lot of time to fill in with like watching movies or whatever. He's only allowed to watch the one thing for the entire time.

What about that? Oh, God. I don't know. Yeah, let's brainstorm. Let's get onto Possible and search Nick Capper. Surprisingly, it's the only entry that you'll find there. What? There's not one on there for him trying to get rent?

Yeah, well, that would be the obvious one. Can't be too far off. Yeah. So get onto that. And now that we've made those goals, we're sure to make some minor goals. Just because I think people will want to keep chucking in. Because what is promised, of course, if you put in some money, you'll be getting content from him. He's going to be filming video the entire time in a tuxedo.

And what I'm insisting on is he's going to be carrying one of those reporter mics. Everything he films, he's going to have one of those reporter mics that has like the little box around it yeah yeah the cube on it but instead of channel nine it'll say little dum-dum club so he's all i've said to him i'm insisting every video you do it opens with hi this is nick capper reporting for a little dum-dum club and then whatever the fuck he's doing putting his head up a yak's anus or whatever him getting vox pops in the airport and stuff would be pretty cool. People sitting next to him. On the bus. Yeah. Interviewing every single person on the bus within 12 hours.

Fucking hell. We should, and then we just have him there for the 48 hours that our shows are on, and then we send him straight back. He doesn't even have time to get over jet lag, and then he's back on a plane. Someone was saying last night, oh, so what fucked ways you got to go home? It's like, no fucked ways. Yeah, that's the point. We don't get anything out of that except for causing him pain.

We don't care if he's back in Melbourne or not. It doesn't matter to us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We haven't given that a moment's thought what happens after we're done with him. Yeah, absolutely. And so, yeah, all of you London folks, yeah, still some tickets left for the third and final live podcast that's happening there, but it is selling very quickly.

So hop onto that. Yep. Heaps of fun. Yeah, Kosa Mui, we added Dugo on as another podcast. We've got some more confirmed guests this week. Look, I think we're not too far away from announcing maybe the entire lineup, hopefully. Hopefully.

But we've got a lot of guests coming. Yep, it's going to be great. So, you know, if you haven't been before, if you haven't looked at it before, do go on. We'll be doing a bunch of live podcasts on the beach. We'll be doing a bunch of live podcasts on the beach. We'll be doing stand-up.

We'll be doing some other little new ideas. Always looking for new ideas. So we want to make this different again. We'll have one or two little things that haven't been done before. A lot of, put it this way, a lot of repeat travelers. Yep. So that's a good sign that it's fucking good. travelers. Yeah. So that's a good sign that it's fucking good. Absolutely.

Yeah, take a risk. If you've thought, if it sounds fun, if you just want a holiday, this is a great way to do a holiday. Because for 23 hours a day, you can do what the fuck you want, and then you get to see a show. That's exactly it. That is worth reiterating, that it's not one of these, I saw my gym is trying to get people to now don't fly off the handle,

Bali, for a fitness retreat that they're putting on. And I looked up the timetable and it's horrific. It's like waking up at 5 a.m. and then just doing all these bullshit fucking training sessions all day. And then it's like 10 a30am until 10.30am free time oh how generous

of you giving us half an hour off in the middle of the day in Bali what a fucking waste of a tropical island to be doing that bullshit to reiterate

you get 23 hours off a day yeah free time free time is a pretty big window with us but then it's an hour executive time

yeah it's an hour of yeah podcasting probably, it's an hour of podcasting, probably longer than an hour of live shows and stuff on the beach. And then, yeah, like-minded people, fucking around and having a good time afterwards. It's great. It really is great. At the very least, get on the Ozo site

where you can see the Chewing Resort. Have a look at the pictures. Even the Amari. Go into the Amari Resort. Have a look at the pictures of it. And just, the amari resort have a look at the pictures of uh ever and just apart from anything else look at it as a holiday destination where you get a beautiful dumb cunt cherry on top of the pie there is that those websites are great they've got the little thing where you go to the website and then a little video automatically starts playing in the background i love it flash video i love it really Flash video. I love it. Really sells it immediately. And, of course, we sent out our Koh Samui International Podcast Festival documentary

of the 2018 version of our festival. The Chinese Democracy of Podcasting. Yes. It's come out quite a long time after it should have. But it's finally out. What that means is it is out to the Patreon subscribers that subscribed to it a long time ago and recently. Yeah.

Took us a while to clear all the samples. Yes. I think you are at the moment looking into how we put that for sale for some people that missed out. Yeah. People who missed out and just want to buy it, one-off it. If that's going to happen, that'll probably happen in the next week, in the next couple of days after people hear this. Yeah. So that'll be on the socials.

That'll be on our web. There'll be a link on the website if that's going to happen. It seems like there's a bit of interest. it look it's come up really well it's it's fun yeah it looks great it showcases the uh the whole experience pretty well i think it's it's it's funny as well yeah it's really funny uh it looks really good and big shout out to oliver clark who put it all together for us. Yeah, he edited it together. Just a triple threat. Comedy, editing and in the sack. Yes.

Hey, let's do one more little bit of housekeeping before we move on. Something that's been laying dormant for a few weeks now that I wanted to kind of touch on again quickly. Now we have this Swedish brewery that wants to get into bed with us. So we we have this Swedish brewery. Yes, I'm glad you brought this up. I wanted to bring this up. That wants to get into bed with us.

Yes. So we talked about this on the episode a few weeks ago with Tom Ballard and Sonia Di Iorio that we had someone contact us. They run a brewery in Sweden. They are going to make a beer to our specifications. It can be called whatever we want. Yep. We designed the can, which is honestly designing a beer can as someone who does illustration

and stuff. Dream of mine. Yep. Real dream of mine to have that in the shops. Mm-hmm. So we mentioned it and then we got a few, we had a few threads on the pages of people suggesting names and stuff. Yep.

But where are you sitting with it? Because off the back of this episode, I've got an idea for what we could do with it. Right. Okay. Well, I looked at all the suggestions and there was a few people that suggested this, this idea, which I agree with because I'm trying to think of something that could be out in the normal marketplace without calling it, you know, got him lager or whatever it is, because no one's going to understand what that is.

No one's going to really... Yeah. The dream is that it's in some way, you could just pick it up being a random person being like, oh, that can looks cool. Yeah. I'll try this beer. But also if you're aware, you go into the bottle shop and you're like, what a treat that this is sitting there on the shelves.

Yeah, exactly. And so finding the middle ground between those things is quite difficult. I think a bunch of people suggested maybe something like Westgate Lager or Westgate whatever it is. I think that's a good one because it's like that just looks like a normal thing. If you have a bridge on there, if you have – it's called Westgate. I think that's a thing you can sell to normal people as well as our fucked people. So here's my suggestion off the back of this episode. Dum-dum, juggernaut brew.

Oh. God. Look. I reckon that, like, as a name, it's like, cool, juggernaut. That's kind of a – that's a cool word. We'll see. We have a cute little cartoon bull on there. Look, you know what?

No one buying it is any the wiser. You know what? Look, at the moment, the Westgate references stood the test of time sure at the moment this is like you walking off stage at an open mic gig and doing a new joke and then going well that's the name of my netflix special like well it's worked once also you don't have a netflix. So let's stew on that one. To me, though, I think that is, for me, that is really in the perfect intersection of like what we're saying. Right.

So funny if you're a listener of this show. Right. We're basically up there going, we are selling a can of Bullseed. Yeah. But you could see that on a shelf and go, oh, look at the little cartoon. Sure. Look at the little cartoon. I'd have us riding a bull on the can.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'd be cute. I don't mind it. Look, I'm warming to it over the last 45 seconds. Yeah, yeah. But let's see. As we often discuss when we do posters and stuff where we try and wedge Westgate references in there, it's like, God, it's just so fucked just trying to draw

a bridge it's like what a boring visual reference look i would say if we were going to do the west gate one it would almost mean that you don't do the yellow and we get more of a technical sort of image of it the original plan yeah now we get our tracing paper and we try and trace the actual bridge interesting yeah yeah um so yeah that would, that would be – maybe we sort of mock up both designs and we do it – we put it out to the listeners like old school Fat Elvis versus Skinny Elvis on the stamp. Oh, yeah. And they did that 20 years ago.

I'll have to follow up with this guy because I think he was – yeah, there's a couple of things I've got to ask him. I think he was maybe okay with us having a couple. I'll have to double check. Right, okay. I also want to see if we can get some shipped over to London. Yeah, right. When we do this show. Well. We could have a little bank holiday party in the park.

Yeah, because it is a holiday, isn't it? It's a public holiday on the Monday. Wow. The other thing we need to work out is, and I don't suspect you would have much preference with this uh and i don't really either to an extent what kind of beer we want it to be i don't want any none of this crafty shit i completely agree i completely agree a pilsner is like as far as i'll go yeah i completely i'm with you yeah i'm i'm a lager I'm not even much of an ale fan.

What's an ale? I don't know. I just know I don't like it. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a very, I like your blonde beers. Yeah. I like your lager and I like your Pilsner.

That's pretty much it. I like, I'm a big fan of Asian beers because they're a bit lighter, a bit crisper. They're basically a blonde. Yeah. Yeah. Ironically enough. of Asian beers because they're a bit they're a bit lighter a bit crisper they're basically a blonde yeah yeah ironically enough so so

yeah look to the Swedish chef out there if you're listening and I know you are how does that sound to you yep the Swedish beer chef

the Swedish beer chef nice yeah that's great great I'm glad we've got back on that I hate when we have something good and then we just abandon it I know I've kept meaning to bring it up in the I'm glad we've got back on that I hate when we have something good And then we just abandon it forever

I know I've kept meaning to bring it up In the last couple But we've gotten Heavily sidetracked Which is why it has to live here But yeah Let us know what you think folks

Do you think that reference Off this episode I mean that's the thing If I'm going to be If I'm going to be going And beating this thing off It's like You can't say

I don't think that reference Is going to stand the test of time. Yeah, yeah. But I'm still happy for you to go and have its penis in your hand. But the thing is if this all goes to plan, that would mean that maybe we get the beer made before you even beat off this ball. Yeah, but that's great because then I can bring back a case of it

with me and I can scull all that to work up the Dutch courage. Right. Okay, when you jack off the ball into your mouth, then you can drink the lager to wash the taste out of it. We film up the Dutch courage. Right. Okay, when you jack off the bull into your mouth, then you can drink the lager to wash the taste out. We film an ad for it. Right. Matter of fact, I've got it now. This is all coming together.

Fucking hell. You can get a jerk and a bull. Well, he did offer to make up just a private reserve that we don't sell or anything because he's coming to Samui. Right. So maybe we can get a super, super fucked limited edition and have some... I don't know. We can work this out with him.

Yeah. This is easier than emailing him. Yeah. Just saying some thoughts into a mic and waiting for him to get in touch. You can get a jerk and a bull. You can get a jerk and off a bull. You can... What do you got. You can get it jerking a bull. You can get it jerking off a bull. You can get it when his ball sack is no longer full. Matter of fact.

You can get it listening to Dum Dum. You can get it making a bull cum. There we go. You can get it looking at Nick Capper's perm. You can get it looking at Nick Capper's perm. You can get it drinking a bull sperm. Oh, man. Talk about a cheat day. Oh, man.

What a juggernaut of content this hopefully will be. I love juggernaut, man. I went into our messages and looked at the photo of him. Cute bull. A cute bull. I like what I see. It's not going to be hard for you to jerk off. No.

You'll be doing this even if it wasn't content, maybe. Well, I mean, I don't have to be hard. Right. Yeah, okay. But it helps. I need to warm up my hand on myself first. You don't have to be mad to work here, but it helps. What a great coffee mug.

Just you get a new office job. Day one, you're sitting down with a mug that says, you don't have to have an erection to jack off a bull, but it helps. And just see how long it takes for someone from HR to come and go, we've got to talk about this mug. T-G-I-J. Thank God it's jerking off a bull day. All right, let's crack in.

Is that all the housekeeping? Yes, please. Please. This doesn't need to be longer than it already is. So this is a segment of the show where we go into thanking people that subscribe to us via Patreon, using Patreon as the middleman. If you go to patreon.com slash littledumbdumbclub, you will be given an option to donate money towards this show

to keep it running. But not only donating money, it's not just a pure donation. It's not just a thank you for doing what you do, even though that would be ideal if that happened that way. But instead, we know this modern world wants more and more content. You get something back. Yep. So you get a magazine.

You get a bonus episode. This month, you got a documentary made. All sorts of stuff we like to chuck at you. There's even a private millionaire Facebook group that we have, especially for you guys, where we try and put even more exclusive content in there. Exclusies. Yeah, little tidbits of content.

And, of course, part of that is that we plug all of your names in as soon as you subscribe to the Unplanned Title Alternator. And at random, it spits out random names every week. And we immortalize your name in the Mount Rushmore of audio. Mount Fuckmore. Yeah. Mount Mountmore. So. Mount Mountmore. So, let's do it.

Yep. Let's crack in. Let's fire up the unplanned title alternator. UTA. I had to, by the way, we're going to have to do some of these ads over in London. And I had to pay excess baggage to get it over with us. Oh, right. So, yeah.

We are really in the red for the next few months. We are really, really in the red because the thing is with the – it's such a sophisticated software and machinery that, yeah, we didn't – we never really thought we'd be going overseas with it. But I looked up the licensing contract and uh the machine has to travel first class oh really yeah it's it's the real nick cody of uh computers so we are first class on a boat and we've had to send it off pretty soon yeah and then buy a second one here for the next couple of months so bon voyage uta it's also i read somewhere that it's

like television In the UK You need to have a licence To operate So we're going to have to Pay for that While we're over there God We have to try and avoid

The licence inspectors While we're there To be constantly travelling Around with this computer Alright Let's make the most of it Let's fire it on up In this continent

Thank you to Patreon subscriber Fiona Norrie Norrie I'd have to say Thank you to Patreon subscriber Fiona Norrie. Norrie. I'd have to say, I can't look into the future, obviously. But Norrie, if there's a worse surname than that coming up this episode, fuck, get married to anyone you can. To the postman, whoever walks past next. The postman.

Anyone's going to have a better surname. Norrie, it's not great. It's not great. It's really not great. I'd love to think Fiona is single or at the very least not married. I'd like to think that she hasn't taken that name off someone else and that's it for her. There's someone I know who has a dodgy surname

who is expecting a child with her partner and they're not married. And we kind of always thought, oh, they'll get, you know, marriage will be on the cards and they're having the kid first. Yep. And she's now like, oh, we both don't really care. I'm like, you should fucking care. Yeah, yeah, right.

You should be pushing for this. Now I want to know the surname. I'll tell you. You know who it is. Do I? Yeah. Okay, all right. I may not know the surname. I'll tell you. You know who it is. Do I? Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

I may not know the surname. Is it Fiona Norrie? It's – I reckon it gives Norrie a run for its money. Oh, really? Yeah. I'm playing with fire here. I'm going to fucking hear about this. Right.

From who? Huh? Who are you going to hear? I know that there's a certain friend who listens who'll message me and go funny stuff right now any like i might get snitched out to her you know what i mean right like how long until i hear from her right hey you think my name's fucking sounds stupid fiona nori nori look fiona's nice fiona's Fiona. But, God, can you please find someone? But, see, for me, and I have to say this,

Fiona's one of those names for me. I'm sorry to say it. You know, friend of the show, Fiona O'Loughlin. Based on just being at primary school with a girl called Fiona who was like, you know. Right. You know, just like, you know. Right. You know just how, you know that stuff, we've talked about this before. You're affected forever by people you knew in primary school and their names.

Someone a bit bung had a certain name, it's like that's it for you. Yep. So Fiona's got that sort of tarnishing for me. Fiona to me seems like a name of someone who cuts their long hair too early. Well, it's long hair, so it's not too early. No, but has long hair, then cuts it to be like that short housewife-y sort of hair at maybe age 30. Oh, I see what you're saying. Right.

They commit to the mum haircut when they're nowhere in no threat of being mum. They're not a mum yet. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah, interesting. They're late 20s, they're early, they're nowhere, in no threat of being mum. They're not a mum yet. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah, interesting. They're late 20s, they're early 30s. Oh, you've gone too early. Have fun with your hair.

You know? Isn't that, I don't know, not that I'd know anything about this, but isn't that, that's kind of in style, isn't it, at the moment? Isn't that more what that's to do with? Look at us. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know.

A 42-year-old and a balding man talking about young women's haircuts. Hey, we don't have to be correct. Yeah. I can just say stuff. Interesting. That's what this is. Yeah, get us on Q&A. Yeah.

I don't have to be right to open my mouth. Interesting. I'll do whatever the fuck I want. That's a wonderful outlook. Yeah. Yeah. Don't ever complain about anything I ever say, listeners. Yeah, why care what we have to say?

We might be two of the dumbest people going around. You know what? That's interesting when people do complain about us. If we do something, whatever the fuck we do, it's like, don't hold us up to anything. Yes. You know what? If the government employs someone, if the government employs someone, if the ABC employs someone, they do the wrong thing.

If fucking a festival employs someone, they do the right. Cool. Go off it. They've got bosses. Fucking they've been putting positions of power. We are two dumb cunts. Yeah. That couldn't get anything else.

Who got lucky. Who made up their own thing. Fucking we don't know anyone jack shit. It's like being angry at someone who goes into the casino and goes out to the roulette wheel and goes, oh, two, I guess, and then wins money off that. Yeah. It's like, it's just a fucking idiot with absolute dumb luck. No one told him to do that.

No one's in charge of him. Just a fucking moron who just stumbled in off the street. If you don't like anything we say, you know, talk to our bosses. Get a sack from the street. If you don't like anything we say, you know, talk to our bosses. Yeah. Yeah. Get a sack from the internet.

So you're saying we should both put into our Twitter bios views absolutely my own and of my employer as well. Yes, that's funny. That's some funny stuff. There's some good angles to be made off the back of that. Oh, man. I mean, you've got to put it in as a government employee, but just don't be afraid to have fun with it, you know?

So I like how I'm getting my back up and starting to talk like some fucking middle-aged alt-right guy. I don't care if you're offended by what I say about the name Fiona. Yeah. Let's see what the feminazis have to say about this one. Thanks, Fiona. Thanks, Fiona. Thanks, Nori.

Thanks, Nozza. It sounds very British. Nori sounds like it's slang for something, don't you think? Oh, I love a bit of a Nori. There are names that need to be bred out of existence, and this is one of them. No need. No need.

Thank you to Patreon subscriber. This can't be any worse than that one. Can't be. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Troy Finn. Troy Finn. P-H-I-N. Oh, okay. That's okay.

It's fine. I think it's better. For some reason, it's better to me than if it was F-I-N. No, I disagree. Really? Having Finn F-I-N as a last name would be funny. That's funny. Don't you think?

I've never heard of that as the last time that would be good um i always think it's weird and i've said this before when the when the surname is shorter than the first name just like the whole name is not an example of that no but you're saying if it was just f-i-n all right it would be it would look you know what i mean it would look like i don't know it's hard for posters hard for like, I don't know, man. It's hard for posters. It's hard for building. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but a lot of surnames are derived from what people did for a living, their ancestors.

Yep. So that means this guy, his ancestor, used to help fish swim. What do you think about that? Is it possible to have any thoughts whatsoever about that? The most empty statement of all time. What thoughts could I possibly have? At the very least, negative ones to start with. Boredom is about as far as I can go with that one.

Is boredom a thought? I guess it is. I'm bored. That's a thought. I'm bored. We need to go back. You know when you're a little kid and you're just happy to just announce that you're bored? We need to bring that back as adults.

Just a comedy. Standing up the back of the room. I guess just being on the phone has taken over that. That's like you basically. If you're in conversation, you just get the phone out and just start scrolling through Facebook. That's you saying to that person. That's a physical I'm bored. If phones weren't around, that would be you mid-story just saying, I'm bored. Yeah.

It's not good for comedy. Being bored. Saying I'm bored. Saying I'm bored. Yeah. There's no yes and with I'm bored. Yeah. What can you do with it?

Oh, well then. Bored in your ass with a dick. Yeah, cool. Yeah. God damn, imagine. Imagine. Because there's that old, I mean, there's that old thing that parents throw back at kids, which is only boring people get bored.

So imagine you're on stage and an audience member goes, I'm bored, and then you come back with that one. Yeah. Then the rest of the crowd turn on you. Well, I'm not bored, but now I think you're a fucking loser. Well, I'm not bored, but now I think you're a fucking loser. You know, what's his name? What's fucking Tesla's, Tesla man's name?

Elon Musk. Elon Musk. He's got that company called The Boring Company. Does he? Yeah. I didn't know that. It's like he has a drilling company and it's quite cleverly called The Boring Company because he's literally boring into stuff. But it does work both ways because it's like you're drilling into stuff.

Who cares? Who cares, yeah. That is boring. You're right. Yeah, do something more interesting like calling a diver a pedophile trying to rescue young boys. It's not boring. Yeah.

Also, he started making flamethrowers from The Boring Company where I'm like, okay, well, this sort of now works as a joke because flamethrowers are not boring. Flamethrowers, I think, would be in the top five of most unboring things that exist. Agreed. They're right up there. Agreed.

I've never, you know what? I'm 32. I've never held a flamethrower. I've got to change that this year. That's because. That's my late New Year's resolution. That's how it works. You don't get your license until you're 35. Right. It's like your this year. That's because. That's my late New Year's resolution. That's how it works. You don't get your license until you're 35.

It's like your pen license. Yeah, yeah. You've got to be able to write your name in flames. Drink at 18. Yeah. Throw flames at 35. Look it up on your lappy. Where do you go?

If I write now, if I wanted to go out tomorrow and just have a crack at a flamethrower, where would I go? Flamethrowers in Australia. Flamethrower. Flamethrower Melbourne. Rental a flamethrower. Where would I go? Flamethrowers in Australia. Flamethrower. Flamethrower Melbourne. Rental. Flamethrower. It must be one of those things that's like you can buy on those, you know, experience websites like skydiving and shit like that.

Yeah. I mean, to be fair, I think Old Musky wasn't technically what he's selling and not flamethrowers. Okay. Yeah. Well, I'm not expecting that he would hook me up with one. Right. I just want to have a go of a flamethrower.

Oh, okay. All right. Well, now I'm clear with that. Flamethrower hire Melbourne. Fuck yeah. Wow. Let's get one for the drunk cast. Fuck.

All right. Just really singe some eyebrows from up there on stage. Let's just hope that this is Melbourne, Australia. Oh. $225 per day. That's way cheaper than I would expect. Fucking hell, here we go. Add stunning effects to your performance

with Flamethrower Higher Melbourne. We specialise in effects equipment. Our range of pyrotechnics will deliver theatrical special effects to any event. Many performance groups employ pyrotechnics to enhance the effect

of their live shows further. Well, we do live shows, so yeah. Modern pyrotechnics to enhance the effect of their live shows further. Well, we do live shows, so yeah. Modern pyrotechnics are safer and deliver an eye-catching effect. Eye-catching. I wouldn't be using the word eye-catching when we're talking about flamethrowers, to be fair. I think that scares me a little bit. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The flames catching the eyes. Yeah, yeah. The flamethrower is easier to set up. A user just needs to place a flame projector in such a way that the nozzle is facing upward i love it how they just so what they just give you this thing for the day they just give you a crash course in at the warehouse and then you're just sent off on your way it just scares me surely not like four sentences in it's giving me the guide of how to use it it's like don't be telling me how to fucking use it when you're selling it.

Yeah. You put it on the fucking box or whatever. Yeah, yeah. Do you remember in... To control the flamethrower machine, users can either use a console or a power switch. Okay, great. This sounds sick. Let's do it.

But they give me all this info before they even tell me what the price is or where you get it from or... You said the price. Yeah, but I skipped ahead. Oh, okay. Yeah. Do you remember last year in Koh Samui when we ran the bar? The flamethrower can be used for DJ band stage at a disco show.

Is this, but is the, because I'm thinking what I want is the one, like the Hank Scorpio one, you know, like the backpack, and then it's just me holding a gun and I'm just like shooting flames out. This sounds like they're talking about the thing that you see like at concerts sometimes where it's just like mounted on the stage and a bit of flame shoots up. I think that's going to be it. Do you remember last year at Koh Samui when we ran the bar for the night? We were trying to hire fire twirlers and just Googling it and like just getting some guy

and it's like, there's no rates list. It's just like, hey, we're doing this. What would it cost? And he's like, I don't know, like $3,000. And we're like, no, no, like wait wait um um two uh two thousand dollars yeah it was ridiculous i was i was telling that to my dad the other day and i was like yeah we were trying to get um fire twirlers and he's like what's what's that what are they i'm like you know fight fire twirlers you've seen fire twirlers he's like what what are you saying i'm

like i don't know how else if you don't understand it from fire twirling, I don't know how else to say it. Yeah. Yeah. There is, I mean, fire. I mean, he knows that one. I think he's familiar. Yeah. He's pretty old though, so I don't know.

Maybe that's one of these newfangled kids' inventions. Twirl. And again, twirl is a pretty common term. It's one of those things where it's like the only other way for me to describe it to you is to just say the same words again, but with like a verb or like something, you know, in the middle. Maybe opening your eyes a bit more incredulously. So then he goes, oh, that helps.

You're annoyed at me. Now I understand. Thanks, Troy. Great luminous efficiency. $225 per day. The fire shape is that of a mushroom. What an odd sentence. The fire shape is that of a mushroom.

Can you get a mushroom-shaped fire? Well, also, once the flames are shooting off, as if you give a fuck what it's in the shape of. No, you don't. As if you're just watching a naked flame just, also, once the flames are shooting off, as if you give a fuck what it's in the shape of. As if you're just watching a naked flame just like blasting into the air, four stories high, just going, but could you make it look like Sonic the Hedgehog? Then I'll really be impressed. Yeah. Yeah.

Look, hang on. Hang on. Let me try one more thing. There is someone selling flamethrowers on Gumtree. The guy who said he didn't want this bit of the show to go for too long is now perusing flamethrowers on Gumtree. Now I'm looking at barbecues. All right, I better stop.

Did I say on the show before I was going to buy a barbecue recently and I was looking them up on the Barbecues Galore website and there's like a barbecue version of a wood-fired pizza oven you can get. And it just made me laugh so much, the idea that you go in, like just a dad going in to buy a barbecue for his, you know, they've renovated the backyard. All right, we'll get a big barbecue for the family, and he comes back with a fucking wood-fired pizza oven.

Yeah. Yeah. That is such a sucker purchase. Just me with one. That sounds amazing. Look, I would buy one right now now and then I would use it once. Yeah. Having it out on the balcony in an apartment that I live in by myself,

just cooking pizzas for one. That's good. Fuck. Pizzas, just pizzas in that category of like, why make a pizza when you can buy one that's great? It really is. 100%. Fuck making a pizza. And can buy one that's great it really is it 100 making a pizza what's and when people go no no i make it at home and it's actually great and it's like okay well um uh how do you make it well for the crust i use pita bread oh my god

buy a flamethrower and test it out on your fucking face oh man if we had a pizza party in the park that we cook all the pizzas with a flamethrower, that's sick. If you walk into a pizza shop, if you walked into a pizza parlor, and it's like, yeah, we specialize in pita bread pizzas, fucking get you going out of business sales ready, boys, because you're going to need them.

Absolutely. Fucking hell. I will say, you know, throwing a few ingredients on a bit of pita bread, putting it in the oven, not too bad. It's fine as a little snack. Don't you dare be kidding yourself that A, it's pizza, and B, it's, and I've heard this many times, just as good as going out. Get fucked.

Oh, my God. Let's bring the enemies list back. Finally, we've got enemies. Anyone who claims that their homemade pizza is as good as going out. I love it. That's, who have we got? The barefoot investor. The barefoot investor.

The cunt that sat on my headphones on the plane. Yep. Who I thought I saw in public the other day. Oh, wow. And now, yeah. The pita bread pizza. And the people who enjoy them. Yeah.

There's such vague things on the enemies list. Yeah. The only person that's in any way specific to like having wronged one of us, we don't even – actually, no, I do know his name. But you've never met him. Yeah. But a very good addition to that list. You and I had a pizza before we did this episode that people just heard.

I know. I don't like you putting that out there because it was a very rare entry into me eating bread. Really a bit of a cheat day, half a cheat day. It was a great pizza. It tasted amazing. It tasted great, but I will say right before we did this ep, I felt like shit.

Pizza for lunch. You are allergic to food though, I think. No, I don't mean I felt sick. I just meant I typically have been having really, really light lunches. I've been having basically nothing for lunch. So just having a big, bready meal and then coming to do this. I just felt sleepy. I just felt like I didn't have any energy.

Really? Is what I mean. I didn't feel cruel. I feel like that right now because I slept about three hours last night. But I won't be blaming bread on it. As opposed to what you've just said, we shared a pizza, and I thought this is a very cheeky little cheat day for me to have half a pizza. I could have eaten two of those pizzas.

After not having bread for that long, I was like, fucking hell. It tasted amazing. I had little mozzarella sticks on the side as well. I was a real bad bitch that day. I was cosplaying as Dave O'Neill right before the episode with him. Pita bread pizzas. Fuck you. Get fucked.

Man. And I bet, you know what? This will be the thing from this week. Some idiot is going to get in the Facebook group. No, anyway, here's a photo of the one I made tonight. It'll blow your mind, boys. No, it's actually really good i prefer these no you just don't earn enough money come get a fucking proper job you've only

ever been to dominoes you fucking idiot yeah and you can't even afford that now oh no it's it's good that's the and home brand's just as good as the normal stuff no it's not again it's not yeah absolutely not fucking Fucking home brand. That's what should, you know, when you're sitting there as a kid and going, you know, what should I do for a living? Man, instead of just what you want to do, get a job of what you need to do to avoid eating a fucking pita bread pizza and home brand lemonade.

Treat yourself. Yeah. What would you say is the official food of the Little Dum Dum Club? Is it a hamburger because of the logo or? It would have been in the old days, but now I'm sort of off them a bit. So I don't. Yeah, I don't really go in on burgers too often, I have to say. I wish I could, but I just.

I guess it's got to be something that we're in agreeance of, that it's excellent. I mean, maybe pizza's edged it out. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm fine. I mean Maybe Maybe pizza's edged it out Yeah Oh I look Yeah I'm fine Neither of us are Insane on the pizzas Yeah

But we do We pretty regularly We go to There's a little slice hangout That we go to every now and then Yeah After the European Beer Cafe Behind Spleen

Behind Spleen Yeah It's a good place Yeah Love pizza Wish I could eat it every day Wish I could trust myself But I can't

Alas I can't Yeah I hadn't had one in Like probably Like ages And now I'm back in a big way because of that place that we went to the other day, which I really like. Wait, got to be good. Because the goal, same goal as last year, is just to stay after bread until Samui. So, this is taking too long.

Let's get back in. Thanks, Troy. Thanks, Troy Finn. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Patrick Murray. Patrick Murray? Yeah. Wow. What do you think about that?

I'm bored. Damn. I'm not bored. You know what? When I have a child and a very fresh one, maybe there's even a link between that and the fact I had three hours sleep last night and that I'm very tired. Who knows?

Yeah, any eggheads want to crunch the numbers on that one, let us know. What are the odds? So, when the child was born, we did not have a male name in case it was marked because we didn't know the sex of the baby. When it came out and it was a girl, we were sorted. We had a girl's name. We did not have a boy's name. So we were in a way relieved because of that.

But Patrick was a name I had on my list. Really? Yeah, I don't mind it. It's all right. What about? That's a very begrudging. It's all right. No, it's, I don't know.

I guess my thing would be. You know a Patrick. I do know a Patrick. Yeah. But my thing would be if I was naming a kid, I definitely would be one of these people that get a lot of shit where I would be trying to go for like a fucking weird name. Would you? I would, yeah.

You wouldn't go traditional? I wouldn't go traditional at all. Really? Yeah, yeah. As much as those people get shit and like, oh, hipster parents, every kid's called bloody Phineas and shit. I absolutely would be one of those people. 100%. Give me an example of a name that would be in your ballpark.

Some sort of, on your short list, give me a taste of something that, of what your taste is in names. Give me a tiny little sample of the world in which you think is acceptable to name a child. This fruity, new age, hippy-dippy naming technique you have. It's more like it would be, like I know a lot of Pats. You know what I mean? So that's out. Like I wouldn't want to give it a name of like someone who, like a name where I know. I don't.

I don't know that. Oh, God. No offense. No offense to the two pats that I'm friends with who both listen to this right I also thought um after that I was like no I quite like Patrick as a name because I don't know any Patrick's real I don't know your Patrick mates that well yeah to think oh well that influences me at all yeah but um then I thought after that I had in my head for a little bit I was like like, yeah, I don't mind. I don't mind.

And then I was like, fuck, all of a sudden, what if I just turned up on this show with a kid called Rick? If you hadn't have realised. Yeah. Oh, man. I mean, we can't fully tell the story, but a friend of ours, a friend of the show had that recently where they were telling us their kid's middle name.

And they'd given their kid a middle name that's the same name as a person we don't like very much, I guess. 100%. But they hadn't realised that. So they're like, oh, it's this because it's someone in the family and we laughed about it. And then they're like, what, why are you laughing? And we're like, this, you fucking idiot.

And they were like, no. And now that kid's dead. Yeah. So if it had been a boy, would you honestly, what were the chances that you would have called it Patrick and then not thought of that until, you know, someone else going, oh, you've got a kid called Rick now. I think, well, put it this way.

I had Patrick as a uh chance in my head and when the baby came out it was still i hadn't thought of rick at that point that the abbreviation is rick oh yeah yeah okay so if the if had to come out of boring on what are we calling it that's it was still in the chamber still ready to go but we didn't have anything locked in at all we we were we we weren't in agreeance over boy names. And you're not naming your daughter on the pod, but if it had been a boy and you'd called it Patrick, I think you would have had to.

Yeah. It would have been too good of a story that you don't realise that you've done that. Yeah. Yeah, well, I would have been a little bit more, I think I'm a bit more protective of having a girl than a boy because a boy's like, oh, you'll fucking work it out. But a girl, I'm like, oh, you don't need to be born into this world with this fucking hanging around your neck.

So that's why I didn't call my girl Patrick. Okay. Interesting. Yeah. I can't think off the top of my head what I would call a kid. But it would be like, I don't know, like I would be one of those weirdos that tries to bring back grandpa names. Ponsonby? Ponsonby's pretty good.

Cedric? Cedric's not bad. Cyril? Cyril's not bad. I guess Cyril's in the world these days. I do like the idea of having a boy and calling him Douglas after my grandfather. Or Gordon. Gordon or Douglas.

Douglas Gordon was my grandpa's name. They're not out there names. But they're names that you don't really hear. They're, you know, I mean, they're not out there, but I don't think they're. I mean, maybe they are now. You don't look at too many babies and go, is that called Doug?

Yeah. Yeah. Things like, you know, Sam, Tom, Tim, Pat. Right. James. They're all off the table. I'm a little bit sleep deprived at the moment, but I genuinely thought you meant... The ones that are weird? No, I thought for a second you meant the possibility of naming a child Sam Tom Ting. And I was like, what?

Are we going this way? All right, it's in. It's on the pile. Sam Tom Ting. But I don't know, man. I'm never having kids. I'm going to fucking die alone. Really?

That's the plan? Yeah. I can't remember this guy's name. I was going to say that and then give a thanks, whoever, right at the end of that sentence. Oh, sorry. You know what he's known. We've just been talking about it for fucking 10 minutes. Oh, Patrick Murray.

Yeah. Yeah. So say it again. Say the line. Oh, I wish I was dead. Thanks, Pat. Yeah. Great. Thanks, Rick. Everything Patrick Murray. Yeah. Yeah. So say it again. Say the line. Oh, I wish I was dead. Thanks, Pat. Yeah, great. Thanks, Rick.

Everything is Murray. No child for Tommy. So if you're thinking about proposing marriage to Tommy, just know he's not a breeder. Maybe I'll get my sperm frozen. For any good reason? No. Dessert. For any good reason? No. Dessert. Just to feed to that bull.

Wait, so yeah, he drinks a couple of... Anyway, let's move on. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Greg Moss. Mossy. A Rolling Stone gathers no Greg. Would you call your child Moss? See, there's an out there name. Moss is pretty good, but I mean, it's a bad real world thing.

Moss is kind of bad. It's not bad. It's kind of gross. Yeah, it's not. No one's like, yay, Moss. Yes, I agree, but it's not doing anyone any harm. True. What actually is moss?

It's just sort of like a fungus, isn't it? Okay. Is it in the fungus family? Yeah, it's like something that grows in wet conditions. Okay. It's like a weed of some form, isn't it? I believe so. I don't want all the fucking geologists or whatever it is.

A small flowerless... Geologist. It's not a fucking rock. It's not a wet rock. Well, it grows on a rock. Yeah, but they've got a vested interest in it. You grow on fucking the earth, but you're not a planet. That's one thing I admire about you.

Your capacity to just come up with stuff like that off the top of the dome to win a debate. Yeah. A small flowerless green plant which lacks true roots growing in low carpets or rounded cushions in damp habitats and reproducing by means of spores released from stalk capsules. Isn't that weird? The thought of plants reproducing. The thought of plants having a root. Yeah.

Yeah, plants getting their fuck on. plants not pulling out the fact that that tree over my back fence yeah is getting more action than it's so depressing i like this i like this this you're putting out the vague little things of i'm not getting any action, just so listeners can go, I'll give you action, Tommy. Is that what's happening here? Is this like a vague sort of advertisement? Now that you've put it like that, probably at least subconsciously, yes, that is what was going on. Great, great.

Happy to hear it. Happy to hear that you're using this podcast effectively. Too many, I don't think we've talked properly about this, but I don't mind talking about it. Too many listeners, not listeners, too many guests on this show get a lot of action. You talk about this all the time. Maybe I need to sleep. It's your favourite topic.

Yeah, it is. It's a close second after people's surnames are based on their ancestors' jobs. I don't think I've ever brought that up before but anyway i'll take your word from it um man people guess getting action off this off this podcast i just can't i just think it must be driving listeners away from this show for someone to listen to this show and then they go and root one of our fucking idiot open mic guests and then they go oh that's really put me off the podcasting yeah that would be that's probably happened for sure yeah and but i mean look we need you know we need to have a

chat with the guests it's like if you're gonna do that at least make sure you're good in bed just know that you're good in bed so that it's a good experience don't be a cunt don't be a cunt to them don't treat them badly but also be a good root yeah and the only way for we need to verify we need to get in the sack with them and go, listen, guys, this guest who was just on their single, they get our seal of approval. So all of a sudden, all of a sudden, you hadn't had much action about a minute ago, and now you're going to be swimming in action

because you're going to be test running all of our guests. I'm banging Blakey and Dil. Good luck. The seal of approval. You get that tattooed on your forehead. It's just me giving the thumbs up. On your little bum bum. On your little bum bum.

Yeah. What if we – yeah, anyway. No, I'm not going to go down that angle. Greg Moss. Mossy. Mossy. Thanks, Mossy. Thanks, Moss.

If you're in relation to Kate Moss, get her in. Yeah. Would she be a good guest? Do you think there's big-name guests? Is there a big-name guest that you would say no to? Interesting. That you just think that would be bad on the show? Like super famous?

Yes. Like millions of online followers? Yes. There's definitely people who I don't think would be good, but there's no one that I'd say... Do you want me to give you a pop quiz? Okay, sure. I'll give you some names and you say

yes or no on the podcast. Okay. Alright. Beyonce. I don't think she'd be good on this pod. Oh, really? But I wouldn't say no to it. Right. Actually, maybe she'd be good on this pod Oh really? But I wouldn't say no to it Right Actually maybe

Maybe she'd be good I just haven't really watched enough Interviews or anything Where they don't know what she's like You just made a snap judgement That she's a fucking idiot And can't talk properly Is that what you're saying?

I would think anyone that Has been big for that long Outside of the world of being a comedian Would be Hard to sit and talk Naturally For an hour. Right.

If you had like a junket scenario where you had like 10 minutes and you just had to come up with some very generic questions, probably fine. Right. But trying to get her interested in me jacking off a bull. Yeah. And all this kind of bullshit that we go on with. Oh, have you ever been to Thailand?

Yeah. I think would be hard. Yes. But I wouldn't, as if you'd say no to that. Yeah on with. Have you ever been to Thailand? Yeah. I think would be hard. Yes. But I wouldn't, as if you'd say no to that. Yeah, sure. Cristiano Ronaldo. Soccer player?

Yes. I know that it would probably mean a lot to you. Yeah? I don't like him. Oh, okay. Well, then that'd be great. Yeah. Britney Spears.

Britney would be good. Actually, I think Britney disproves what I was saying before. I reckon Britney would light up. I reckon she'd be terrible. You think so? Yeah. Who do you think would be better, her or Beyonce? Beyonce.

Interesting. I think, no offence to Britney, who has had a great career, and I'm a big fan of... I own a copy of Britney Spears' Greatest Hits, but I reckon she would be as dumb as all fuck. Absolutely. I think Beyonce would be engaging and great, but I think... I mean, we have people on this all the time that are dumb as fuck and they're still funny. Yeah, but I think they're entertaining. I think Britney may have had a lobotomy or something.

See, okay, this is the difference. I think Britney would be dumb enough to be good at this, which is the same reason I don't think Beyonce would be good on it. I think she's too smart to be good at this. Right. I understand that logic. But I think we would be talking to britney about thailand or about juggernaut and she'd be just giving yes or no answers i like this scenario those are the only

two things we're bringing up to them yeah uh anyone else i've just googled famous people and it's hard it's and it gives it gives you a bit of google images and i'm scanning across them and there's just too many so the first three results when, when you Google famous people, Beyonce, Ronaldo and Britney Spears. And I'm just having to skip a bunch of them because there's three in a row. There's Anne Frank. Well, probably not. Julius Caesar. Not a big chance.

And Cher. And then Burt Reynolds. I mean, Burt Reynolds would have been good. Yeah, he would have been good. What about the next two, though? What about these two? All right, we'll close on these two. I guess Anne Frank and Julius Caesar do qualify as famous people,

but it still feels weird to class them as that. Yeah. Do you know what I'm saying? Totally. Yes. Famous people. Celebrities. Famous people. Celebrities. Famous people.

Celebrity. Anne Frank. Celebrity Julius Caesar. The famous person, Anne Frank. She was 16. God. What about these two? Okay.

Dan Aykroyd, Courtney Love. Ooh. Dan Aykroyd, I don't know. Fuck. Imagine us saying no to Dan Aykroyd, I don't know. Fuck, imagine us saying no to Dan Aykroyd. Well, okay. Again, I wouldn't say no to anyone. To anyone? Yeah.

I think it would still be worth doing. Yeah. But I would be like, well, I don't. I couldn't summon up caring enough to talk to Dan Aykroyd. A Ghostbuster. You don't even care. You've never watched Ghostbusters, have you? Yeah.

I mean, he's a little before my time and he's a bit, you know, what, you know. He's just going to be trying to fucking hawk Crystal Skull vodka the whole time. That's him, right? I agree. Courtney Love would be fascinating. They'd be both trouble. Big trouble. Big trouble.

Both a bit fucking uncontrollable. Of everyone you've said, I reckon we'd get the best stuff out of Courtney Love. Yes. 100%. We would have to go in there absolutely just planned, you know, just with a lot of options available to us. What was it like when you fucked Neil Strauss from the game? Yeah. Did you kill Kurt?

First question. Yeah. Yeah just just as she comes in look we usually do this for an hour is that cool yeah yeah first question did you kill kurt well then the next question who do we pair her with yeah who do you get with courtney oh well you know, Dave O'Neill's a big fan of music, so sure. Oh, yeah, come on. I mean, like, did you do it on or whatever? Did you like, you know, did you go in there and shoot him in the head and then walk out and go, oh, I might get a large pepperoni now? What do you reckon? Today on The Little Dum Dum Club, a brand new episode

with special guests Anne Frank and Pete Jones. Damn. All right. Anne Frank and Ben Lomas, because Lomas has a joke about Anne Frank. God. All right. We've got to wrap it up. Okay.

That guy on the rowing machine, he's hating it. Yeah. The guy that... Yeah, how long is this? This is long. I didn't want this to be long. This feels longer than usual. Nope.

This is about the same length a day away. Okay. All right. Let's do one more. I'm sleep deprived. I don't want to be the cliched new parent. And usually I've had a lot of good days, but today's not a good day. Right.

Let's get in. One last one. Whatever... However many we've done we'll just do it this thank you to Patreon subscribe oh okay

what what's oh no just what's tickled your fancy there speaking of of celebrities famous people oh yeah we were

doing that yeah yeah just saying right well this just a bit of coincidence because this sounds a little... Well, anyway, look, I'll let you be the judge.

Thank you to Patreon subscriber Elton John Comedy. Ah, the Rocket Man. The Rocket Comedy Man. Yeah. Goodbye, Yellow Comedy Road. Comedy in the wind. Comedy instead of Nikita. I have been listening to a lot of Elton John recently

because, as you know, I bought tickets to see him in a year's time. Yep, in a year's time. I'd like to have done that. I was a big fan of Elton John as a child. I have always only... I've never kind of properly sat down and listened. You know what I mean? Like enjoyed it when it's come on,

but I've never cranked up an album of his. So I'm going through the Essentials playlist that's on Apple Music. I might do that as well. Yeah. I feel like that as well. Yeah. I feel like, you know, now I'm signed up to one of those services, I'm always thinking, fuck, what? I should crack into an artist that I haven't listened to their classic albums. You know the singles, but you don't know their classic albums.

Well, also, if you don't, in this case with me, if you don't really know where to start with someone, if the person's big enough, it's good because they'll have, like, they have their curated playlist of, like, it's good because they'll have like they have their curated playlist of like it's just their own version of a best of but you know do you know what um i've probably talked about this years ago on the show my who's your favorite australian band of all time oh um that is a very good question. Thank you.

Probably, it sounds dumb to say because they are pretty recent, but I think Tame Impala are great. Right. I don't know their work that much. I should have a listen. But I have heard plenty of good things from you and other people. I should have a listen. But I have heard plenty of good things from you and other people.

I've been going back old school and it's a shame. The Skyhooks. I love the Skyhooks. I thought I loved the Skyhooks. I think I love one album because I went back. I'd listen to the greatest hits a heap of times and gone, man, this is fucking great. I should go in on the albums. And then I listened to their first album and it listened to the greatest hits a heap of times and gone, man, this is fucking great. I should go in on the albums.

And then I listened to their first album and it's nearly the greatest hits. Wow. So their first album is like great. Yep. And then the next bunch of albums like, eh, it's okay. Who cares? Whatever. But their first album's great. And I was like, man, fuck.

I don't know if I can base my opinion of them being one of the greatest Australian bands on the fact that they made one great album. Yeah. But sometimes there's plenty of bands that have a rep like that. Yeah, sure. So Skyhooks would be yours? Skyhooks would be up there, but I love the Fove's. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The Fove's are a criminally underrated band. And every time I've ever mentioned that on this show, and I probably haven't mentioned them for years, there's a bunch of fucking hardcore Fove's fans that always hit me up. Yeah, that want us to get them on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, man, you should fucking, you know, blah, blah, blah. But, yeah, fuck. I'd love, because the Cox here is the lead singer,

I'd love to sort of have him on or something. I don't know. I tried back in the day, but it never happened. And it's sort of like, now I feel like, well, cunt, table's a turn. We're bigger than you guys now. Yeah, you should be wanting us. You should have wanted to get on back then. Yeah.

No, I do love them. I love them. I'm now trying to think who else. Regurgitator are pretty big up there for me. Oh, yeah. I was going to say, I thought that would have been your favourite. Yeah, Regurgitator are great. I've seen them probably up there as like the most that I've seen any band

Double figures or I reckon yeah Something for Kate are pretty up there for me I really like something for Kate Cut Copy I think are one of the best Australian bands Right And Tame Impala For just pure consistency of like

Not really having a dud album Yep Great Great live performers Great live shows Yep Yeah I'm sure i'm sure after we do this there'll be one big one that i've absolutely forgotten but all the other stuff like i feel dumb not saying something like midnight or whatever but it's a bit before

my time i've never really gone in you're not into them yeah you don't have to say johnny o'keefe it's fine. Thanks, Elton John. Thanks, Elton John Comedy. All right, guys. Thank you very much for listening. LittleDumbDumbClub.com for all of the live show dates and stuff coming up, tickets to that, some new links going up during the week. So keep it on, all the social media accounts and everything like that.

Guys, thanks for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mates.