The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 441 - Sam Pang & Danny McGinlay

Episode Date: March 19, 2019

Your eyes aren't deceiving you, we've actually got SAM PANG back onto the pod, plus we're joined by another white whale (not really): DANNY MCGINLAY! We playfully wind Sam up for trying to avoid the podcast for a few years and read some feedback from his last appearance. We also hear about our upcoming immortalisation in some university papers, Karl's Liverpool dreams are hanging by a thread and there's an update on Juggernaut!Don't forget, we have a heap of live shows coming up:CANBERRA! We're back for one night only. March 23, 5pm. MELBOURNE! We're doing another month of huge shows at the Comedy Festival. Saturday March 30, April 6, April 13 & April 20, 4:30pm.We're also doing an extra show: Late Night Dum Dum. Friday April 5, 11:55pm. LONDON! Third and final show is now on sale! Saturday May 4, 3:15pm.KOH SAMUI! Come join us for a huge week of shows at an amazing resort. June 11 - 16. SYDNEY! Big live podcast and stand-up show. July 27, 7:30pm. NEWCASTLE! We're heading your way for the first time. Don't blow it! July 28, 5pm. For tickets, merchandise, links to our Patreon and heaps of other stuff, head to our website: littledumdumclub.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on The Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with Sam Pang and Danny McGinlay. And if you would like to come and see us live, you can do that on the following dates, March the 23rd. We are in Canberra and then we have a big month of live shows in Melbourne, March the 30th, April the 6th, April the 13th, April the 20th at 4.30. We also have a late night show, April the 5th at midnight on the Friday night. Then what do we got? Then we head off to London.

We do shows on May 4th and May 5th. We only have a handful of tickets left, I guess, for May 4th. Then we're off to Koh Samui, June 11th until 16th. Plenty of time still to come to that. Then we're off to Sydney on Saturday, July 27th. Then Newcastle on Sunday, July 28th, Tommy. Yep, and we've also got our solo shows on sale now. Mine is on in Canberra, March the 23rd, and then it is on in Melbourne, March the 31st until April the 21st.

And London on Monday, May the 6th on the bank holiday. It's called Balding Cherub. It's lots of new stories and drawings and bullshit and fucking around. It's going to be great. If you want to see mine, mine are four nights only in Melbourne. It is on March 30, April 6, April 13, April 20, straight after the live podcast. If you want to just walk downstairs and go straight into my show

called Carl Chandler One Man Comedy Factory, heaps of fucking around, nice and loosey-goose the way you guys like it. LittleDumbDumbClub.com for tickets to all of that stuff. We will see you at the end of the episode to talk about our Patreon and other things. But until then, enjoy this new episode with Sam Pang and Danny McGinley. Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us.

My name is Tommy Dazzolo and with me is always the other half of the show, Carl Chandler. G'day, dickhead. What is so funny about this comedy podcast? One of our guests is just laughing at the idea of us doing an intro to a show. I think he's just laughing at the idea that we have anything going on, that we're pretending we have anything going on. Well, let's introduce our guests for today. Joining us on the show, Sam Pang and Danny McGinley.

What a coup, and we've got Sam. Nice. It's very busy, the start of the AFL season. Thanks, boys. Very bold from you two, by the way. You didn't tell me that I was doing it with Danny. I didn't. No, you didn't. No, no. And I thought, so firstly I thought. Well, we wanted you to turn up, we thought.

Firstly, I thought, okay, this is interesting. I'm just going to do it by myself, which is not usually the form. No. And then I'm thinking. You sound like a real fan. You know how the show works. Nice. Done some research. Yeah. And I thought, and so driving, I'm thinking... You sound like a real fan. You know how the show works. Nice. Done some research.

And I thought... And so driving, I'm thinking, how could this possibly be any good? Yeah. Just talking to me for an hour or whatever. He still thinks that. I know. And then...

That's still a justified thought. Exactly. And then I saw Danny, which I was relieved by. But then I was thinking, hold on. What if... How did you know that him and I weren't in a massive feud? Well, to be honest, he just picked up a mic. We actually booked him to do the warm-up for this podcast,

so he wasn't supposed to be on air. He's just hustled his way on. It's true. I am like your professional hype man, Sam, with doing warm-up for Front Bar and having a TV show. We actually see each other more than anyone else. I see you way more than I see these two. Yep.

Which is we were working out how we've never worked together. Yeah. Well, look, you are one of our white whales, as it were. Yeah, that's not saying much that you see other people more than you see us. It's about once every five years. But I was saying I wish it was more time. Is it Olympics time again? Add two years and I'll go and see Tommy and Carl.

We should do an Olympics special then. That'd be good. Every time there's Olympics, I know I'm due. I'm sorry, guys. You know, I've been on with Santo and I've been on with Dave Thornton. Maybe. Yeah, maybe. I don't know.

Well, we'll go back to the last time you were on. We got alerted to this the other day. This was last time you were on. We got alerted to this the other day. Last time you were on, you were on with Santo Chalera. And that was a period of time where, for some reason, people wanted to come in and film us to put on community TV. Just us sitting in a room doing a podcast. Not a very visually exciting thing, but whack it up on YouTube.

And I was just reading the comments then. Gboy1640 says, you guys aren't funny. See, because this is the thing. Putting this up, obviously someone's been looking for you. Sam Pang has put your name in and then come up with this and gone, what the fuck are these other cunts doing? I really saw that.

Sorry, so I just read, all I got out of that was they were fine with me. Yes. But everyone else, you, Tommy and Santo, just in my way. Yes. They haven't specified which guys aren't Yes. But everyone else, you, Tommy and Santo, just in my way. Yes.

They haven't specified which guys aren't funny. Well, listen. Then the next comment is... Oh, okay. Here we go. So, you guys aren't funny from G-Boy 1640. Fuck this. That was...

Classic G-Boy. Yeah. I'm surprised there was that many G-Boys that had to go down the line that far. But anyway... Or he's just really, really old. It was a good year. Nicholas Price then continues, exactly, difference between crapping on,

not being funny and being entertaining and funny like Sam and Santo. Really awkward that they didn't acknowledge or introduce Sam and Santo at the start, just started talking to each other. Wow. There you go. So we've learnt from that.

Yeah. We introduced you. Yeah. You know, we introduced the, but that's on me because those clips. Thank you, Pricey. Yeah. Those clips are edited. They're like only half of the podcast. Oh, really into it. We introduced you. Yeah. You know, we introduced the... But that's on me. Thank you. Because those clips... Thank you, Pricey. Yeah. Those clips are edited.

They're like only half of the podcast. Oh, really? Yeah. So they got the best version and they were still shit ass. No, but they've got the version without the intro in it. Oh, right, right, right. This is one of those things that just starts midway through. Right.

What happened to the filming and the... That sweet Channel 31 calling. Well, we weren't getting any money for it. They just wanted to come and film us and you know what? To be honest, I think we did about four episodes and those four episodes the guests would come in and everyone just got weird and stilted and went, oh, what's going on here? We're being

surveilled and those episodes weren't particularly amazing anyway. It's pretty much just people ask you. So, you guys do a podcast. Can I watch? Yeah. It's different though, being filmed. Yeah. Isn't it? Oh, it must be nice to know that regularly, but yeah.

But you do that in your radio show, Sam. They film you for half the time, don't they? For some of the segments? Yeah, they do. I don't know why. That is a new thing with radio, isn't it? All of a sudden people are just filming the radio now. Is that weird?

That's weird. It's pretty weird. It just filming the radio now is that weird that's weird it's pretty weird it's for the um what is it it's for the socials yeah yeah it's for instagram and that sort of stuff which i have no interest in right but um you know i've already been like i feel as though i've already been difficult enough in at that job uh so i go yeah if you want to film it also they used to have a guy actually filming it. Now they've kind of just put cameras in the studio and they're just there all the time. So you never know.

I don't really know anymore. What happened to the guy? He got laid off. He does afternoons now. He's great. Oh, right, right. No, no, no. They just, it was really,

having someone in there filming it was actually quite intrusive. It's pretty unnecessary too. You're not moving around. There's no action shot. You're just leaning into the microphone. There's no visual stuff happening. I agree.

You should be a study at university, I reckon, like in media studies. Because you see all these people that just work really hard and suck up to people and do all this sort of stuff. And then they've got you, who's sort of like the Mr. Magoo of showbiz, who just stumbles into things. You appear to not want a career. You appear to not want any of these things. I've asked you 50 times to do this show, and you go, what do you want me for? What am I going to do?

I'm shit. I'm hopeless. And it's like, mate, you're on Breakfast Radio. You're on every TV show in the land. And you're going, who would want me? Well, everyone apparently. I was going to say that was passive-aggressive, but that's just aggressive, Carl. Where's the subtlety?

You used to have nuance. Mate, because I listen to podcasts, right, and you get into them, and I really – some of them are great. And they're really revealing and funny. Thank you. You're welcome. What am I going to tell about my grand old days on ADBC or something? You know what I mean? But like it's just I've got no – I'm happy – like I'd do this hopefully in 20 or 30 years when you've got stuff.

I've got no stories. Right. That's what I think. I've got no stories. You know when Santa was on? Yep. Well, how good is it? The three of us just sat there

To tell us about this Tell us about that There were four of us But anyway Yeah yeah Gboy1640 wasn't a huge rapper No he wasn't He'd be wrapped with this one

So how on earth Hey at least we introduced you Yeah I know He can't hold that over his head This is unrecognisable This podcast Compared to the last one No it's

Yeah well I'd you know I've never been asked to do a media studies course or some sort of lecture. I've never been asked to be a guest lecturer, Carl. Oh, really? No. That's the one thing missing, you reckon? What advice would you give to young students out there wanting to be the next pangers? Why would they want to do that?

Dude, you turned up in a BMW. I can think of a good reason why they'd want to do that. So we didn't, I didn't want to wake my child, so we set out the front so no one would come and ring the doorbell and we're wondering when you were turning up and we'd go, this might be him. Oh no, and we're literally going, that car isn't fancy enough. That will

not be Sam Pang. So as soon as we saw a very, no. And we're literally going, that car isn't fancy enough. That will not be Sam Pang. So as soon as we saw a very, as soon as we saw that stretch limo come down, I'm like, I reckon this is one Mr. S. Pang. Yeah, the big elephant came down the street at the start of the procession and then the dancers behind it and then a couple of sultans just to kind of pave the way.

Is that him on the top of that float? I think that might be him. Well, you know, it's great to be here. We're talking media studies. Someone hit me up during the week, a listener of the show, a long-time listener of the show, to say that they put in and got accepted to write their master's thesis on this podcast. Oh, no.

What? That's awesome. Yeah. Not for them. Not for them. Not for the person that has to mark it. Just read through a bunch of rot about references to Tim and Rick. Even grammatically, is dumb cunt one word or two?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that's pretty exciting. So as part of that, will they have to interview you too? Yeah. Don't ask me. Ask Tommy. He knows it.

So they did tell me exactly what they're focusing on, and it's the style and form of the pod and its effect on audiences, the intimacy and mateship of it, and how that creates community. How many have you done? How many years have you been doing it? Episodes. This is like 441 or so, something like that. It's a good one. So a thesis, a master's. A master's it, yeah. Episodes. This is like 441 or so, something like that. It's a good one.

So a thesis, a master's. A master's thesis, yeah. So when you have a master's thesis, right, you then walk away from that at the end and you, I presume, try to get employment off that. Like, what are you getting, what job are you getting with a four-year thesis on this? These microphones aren't going to plug in themselves, are they?

They should be able to come and work for you and do that. I think it's the opposite, Carl. I think once you get your normal degree, I think your bachelor, and then if you still can't get a job, you go for honours, I think. And then by the time you get honours and you don't have a job, you just go, oh, no, I'm going for academia. That's what I'm trying to do. Yeah.

Right. I mean, it is great to be writing a master's thesis about a group of guys who barely know what a master's thesis is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've had to have it explained to us. Yeah. I don't even – I don't know what – yeah, it's just a long – We're all picturing He-Man, masters of the thesis.

Yeah. You just sort of write a book, don't you? It's like a little mini book about a thing. Do we? Dropped out of uni twice. What's the person's name, can we say? I don't know if I should. Okay, well, good luck on your little book.

That's not very nice to go. I don't know if I should explain. I should give out the name of someone who's doing a thesis on us. Like they're in fucking undercover or something. They should be ashamed of doing it. Well, I don't know. I don't know if they're cool with it or not. They're probably going to use a pseudonym.

Right. Yeah. Yeah, look, fair enough. Just handing in this final assessment for this course under a fake name. Yeah. Alan Smith name. Yeah. Alan Smithy. Yeah. Do we need to be interviewed for it?

Does this person just listen to the episodes? Have you two been interviewed often about this podcast? Yeah. Yeah. It's so boring. Yeah, yeah. I'm sure the thesis one will be. Isn't it more Carl gets asked more than Tommy and you ask,

well, shouldn't me and Tommy do it or did that only happen once and you told me the story oh I don't know it was like Triple J

wanted to get you on to talk about I don't know I don't think anything in particular like that's happened I think sometimes people just do that

and then you go oh we should be both interviewed or whatever so we both tell the same boring stories about how we

get our ideas yeah of course yeah you would still get all those questions yeah oh how did still get all those questions. Yeah. Oh, how did you get into it?

Because we don't fucking have anything else going on. Who's the worst guest you've ever had on? Oh, yeah, we'll put that in print. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's like, how do you get, why do you keep doing it? Have you seen us on TV? Have you seen us? I forgot how angry you are.

I've missed it. Yeah, okay. Welcome back. What questions do they always ask you, Sam? What are you sick of being asked in interviews and things? Fuck, that question would have to be up there. No one asks what are you sick of. Well, not to be a dick.

I haven't done interviews't been I haven't been I haven't done interviews for a long time it took us five years to get in for this one so it probably takes everyone else

just as long he's the JD Salinger oh yeah yeah because there's nothing there there's nothing there that's why if you're so boring

how come people are desperate to employ you and give you big money to top up this float that you're travelling around in. To live your Aladdin lifestyle.

You know where all the research you've done, there's so much misinformation that you're just... At least Tommy nailed his intro, just to get the names out. What I'm saying about your lifestyle now is going into this thesis, this university thesis. This is now becoming fact. going into this thesis, this university thesis. This is now becoming fact. I used to remember when at the start you'd get asked to do publicity and you'd go, oh, okay, that's the thing to do.

It's the right thing to do. I'm sure you two early days of this would have thought that getting on Triple J or getting an interview was going to make a difference. Oh, yeah. Lead up to Comedy Festival. Yeah. Doing an interview on Triple R, it's like there's 50 tickets right there. And was it? No a difference. Yes. Oh, yeah. Lead up to Comedy Festival. Yeah. Doing an interview on RRR, it's like, there's 50 tickets. Yeah.

Right there. And was it? No. No. Never. So this is what I learned. So early on, you know, I did publicity. And then I got to the point where going, I really don't think it makes any difference.

Yep. And then I was lucky enough to end up on a couple of shows where that people were watching which is great but also surrounded by others that would do the publicity and now it's got to the point

now they don't even ask right nice which is good yeah isn't it well it is for you yeah

well that's who I'm basically taking care of at the moment you know what I mean yeah I don't really care if someone hasn't been paying attention

Tommy Gleisner can do all the publicity in the lead-up to the first show. Or on Front Bar, Mick can do it. They're their show. I'm just Labor. You're such a hard example to learn from because you're, like, you've got so much going on and you don't seem to be wanting to do any of it. Well, is it? No, I like doing.

You're like the hot girl of comedy. That is. And yet here I am. In the debate club. At 3 a.m. in a pub. This is where I am. No, I just, it's just, it's, I like doing the shows, Tommy. Mm-hmm.

And everything else. Yeah. Do you mind? Like this. I like, no, this Tommy, and everything else. Yeah. Like this. No, this is good because this is for no reason. Yeah. But the idea of in the leader. Thank you. That's pure.

It's a pure endeavor, Carl. This is our life. This is all we have. This is someone's academic career. I'm doing it for the anonymous. I'm doing it for the students. Yeah, I'm doing it for the students. Oh, I'm happy to be here. You're doing it for the anonymous I'm doing it for the students. I'm happy to be here. You're doing it for future generations. I'd hate to be

here. I'd hate to ever come on one of your things with the idea of hey make sure you plug the gym. So you'd hate to be Danny McGinley is what you're saying. What are you here for? I have no idea. What do you think I'm here for? I'm plugging my podcast with Limo starts again next week. There you go. Do you do a podcast with Limo starts again next week. There you go.

Do you do a podcast with Limo? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They came to play. So we go through the footy games. Limo and Tess Armstrong and me. Every week?

Every week. How long have you been doing that? We started mid last year. We got the plug out earlier. There you go. I just

I don't want to do that. You don't want to do what you just did? No, he doesn't want to do my podcast. He's just making sure I know that straight away. I've got to make a request to the person writing the thesis. We need a Sam Pang quote from this episode to be in there.

Right. Now, Sam Pang, you're into... You have no questions for Danny? Is that what's going on here? Well, I know him pretty well. Like, this is... Man, we get you once every hell is comet, so we've got to make the most of it.

And I'll come back next week. Put that in the thesis. Okay. Yeah, that's on record yeah once it's been handed into a lecturer it's it's legally binding yeah once it's got a grading c or above that that has to be followed through with what if she hey what if she does the thesis and then... I wonder if thesis, is it just a pass or a fail? Yeah, it is, yeah, with thesis. What if she fails? Two years of... I think you then just redo it until you pass. Oh, wow.

Wow. If she fails, that would be quite appropriate. No offence to this person because I know they listen, but nothing would make me happier than a fat old F. What if they just get an F? What if they just get an F? It's like they walk in and go, here's my thesis on a podcast. Fail.

Do you want to open the front cover? No. It's called the little dumb F. Oh, well, you know, I tried my best, Professor G-Boy 1640. I guess you're right. Those guys just aren't funny. Do we get like, let's say it goes well. Let's say it becomes like the greatest thesis that anyone's ever written.

Knocking what off the top? Yeah, exactly. What's your top three? But it becomes, it's like the person marking it cannot believe how good it is. We start using it as our press release. That's what I was going to say. Do we get some kind of honorary university credit out of it? It's about us, you know?

Yeah, I don't know if that's how it works. People get honorary degrees and stuff like that. Are you just wanting an opportunity to go to a university and throw a hat in the air? Yes. Is that what you want? Yes. I've dropped out twice. You have too. i just want one i just just please just anything because you don't really i feel like you don't put enough full stops on your stories about running threads

that go through this show so a couple of years ago you were at university and we talked about that for a while and all of a sudden there was no more university stories and still now people go how's uni going it's like it's like Chuck in Happy Days. You just walked up the stairs of uni and we never saw you again. What were you studying? I was studying animation. I went back about what was it? Fuck, he dropped out of drawing cartoons.

Well, I ran out of ink. Eckersley's was close. So I had to defer. Yeah, I went back like two three years ago look I have to say this

and this is not having a go at you but here we go it's got to be double points for dropping out as a mature age student oh yeah because you're supposed to be

the nerd that goes in and the young guys go oh fucking check out Gramps doing his work. Oh, big time. What a fucking loser. You were asking questions sitting up the front

trying to further the discussion of the tutorial. Yeah. Asking questions about things you already know the answer to. When's lunch? That's a good point, Gal. The idea that you went back as a mature age student and then still dropped out. I mean, that was a hard pill to swallow.

Just having to make peace with the fact of being a mature age student. Because in your head, it's like, not that much time has passed. And then I think I was 28 or 29 when I went back. I wasn't, or maybe I was, I don't think I was quite 30. So in my head, I was like, well, I'm on the right side of 30. So I'm not a mature age student yet. And then... Fuck, I love the idea of you as a mature student the bell rings to go back into fucking

pencil class and you're and you're going up to these 19 year olds going you want to go around the back of the shelter shed for a few bongs yeah just getting my id photo taken and being like my forehead is so fucking shiny like that was was, do you know what I mean? Like that really got under my skin. Yeah. So in your head, you look like Luke Perry in 90210. Just a little bit older, but still get away as one of the students. But to all the students, you look like Rodney Dangerfield in Back to School.

To all the students, I look like Luke Perry now. Terry, now. Well, I was out the other night at a bar and I was talking to this girl and she said, what do you do? She asked how old I was and what I'd do for a job. Was she the bouncer? Yeah. Hey, can someone ask how old you are? Yeah.

Is that? It's impolite. I think that's impolite to say to a lady. Is it impolite to say to a man as well? I think so. Well, I said to her, this is one of my favourite things to do, I said, guess. Guess both.

Don't be that guy. Guess both. Have you ever had a good experience with that? I was going to say, it just seems sadness, that will result in sadness. What about this? Her guess. Yes.

24-year-old environmental scientist. Oh. Specific. Yeah. She guessed you were a 24-year-old environmental scientist. Oh. That's not specific. Yeah. She guessed you were a 24-year-old environmental scientist. She definitely wanted to fuck you. I can say from personal experience, no, she did not. But again, environmental scientist, great for someone to mistake you

for something that you basically don't even know what it is. Yeah. No, I don't know what it is. Yeah, but good to cop 24. Yeah, yeah. That's nice. Wearing a hat, I was just like, I'll just keep this on for the rest of the night.

I was like, sure, near enough is good enough. Yeah. That'll do. How old was she? Was she like 70 and just doesn't know what 20 years old looks like? She was... Or was she 24 and an environmental scientist and she's talking about herself? Oh, interesting. No, she worked in advertising.

She was 25, so she thought I was younger than her. Oh. Did she look younger than you? Did she live the hard life? No, she did. Yeah, she looked younger than me. She looked young, yeah. Okay.

That's a good get. You still got it? Yeah. When I was on game day on the panel on Sunday morning, I was on on my birthday and Hamish McLaughlin, the host, said, oh, and I've just been told it's your birthday. How old have you turned? I said 35.

And he genuinely went, really? Oh, you've not aged well. The idea that you're talking to 25-year-olds, though, is impressive. Yeah. I haven't talked to a 25-year-old for 20 years. Really? How old are you? 45.

45. Nice. Is that your policy? Anyone younger than you, you just cut them off? I just can't, like, young people. Do you card people before a conversation? By what? Do you card them?

ID? Yeah, I ask them. No, I try to guess how old they are. Well, so Sam, you're into the soccer. You're into the English Premier League. Who do you support? Liverpool, same as you, Carl. Same as me, right.

So I thought you might be slightly interested in this. So we have decided, well, look, Liverpool are having such a great year in the Premier League, in the soccer, haven't won the title for basically 30 years. I said to myself, we're getting so close, I'm going to go over this year. I'm going to make sure I see one of the last matches. Try and randomly pick one of the last matches. Maybe it might be the match where we confirm the title.

You're going over in the next what couple of months to see Liverpool play. Yes. Oh someone's doing well. Yes. Thank you.

How old's the baby? It's five weeks. Okay cool. Yeah. We've had the discussion. It's all good. I can't get over

this. Have you? It's the most. It seems it seems a stretch but keep going. It's unbelievable. It is the dictionary definition of audacious.

It's, hey, she booked a flight for me. So that's something. The baby did? She's so prolific. My wife, you silly boy. So we are going... Look, we can talk about that later. So I'm going to see a match.

Now, I said to Tommy Daslow, you may have met him over there. The 24-year-old environmental scientist. Yes, yes, yes. I'm over here with the Bunsen burner and the, I don't know. You may have seen him down at the... Tree Bunsen burner. You may have seen him down at the CSIRO.

Tommy Daslow over here. He's trying to set fire to a tree with a Bunsen burner. That's what they do, isn't it? Just in a lab, bring a tree in. All right. How quickly does this one go up? Another win for science, boys. It was made of wood.

Let's see how much energy is in this tree. So I said to him, look, I'm going to go there. Tommy has expressed interest in the past in going overseas and doing a podcast in England. If you ever wanted to do anything like that, this is the time because I won't go over there just for the podcast, but I will go to watch a match and to see Liverpool

play and we could do a podcast off the back of it. And he said, oh great, okay. So we locked it in. We're very surprised we end up basically selling out three shows over there. So we're going over for that. Tommy's going to do his solo show there as well. But I have to say, as soon as we announced the shows,

I think Liverpool were eight points clear. Now we are one point behind. What match are you scheduled to see? I think there's eight games left? Yeah. So which one are you going to see? Liverpool-Huddersfield at Anfield. Third last match. Third last match.

That's sweet. Aaron Bowie. Which, when we were eight points clear, looked to be the match that we would confirm the title. But at the moment, that could be the match that really clinches fourth place. Yeah, it's going to be tense. Are you prepared to go on record and say that this is your fault?

Look, I'm not absolving myself of blame. I'll go that far. Because I am a bit of a superstitious person with stuff like that, and I try and shake myself out of it, and I get clear of it, but then I witness a story like this. Yeah. And it just sets me back. It's like, yeah, you've got to keep these things to yourself.

Yeah. The minute you start saying, Sam Pang, finally locked in to do the podcast. Yes. That's when you get the text. Sorry, boys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There hasn't been that many of them.

What are you talking about? You're a busy man. I understand. Yeah, yeah. I'm really not. You drove past. We're trying to give you an out. Yeah.

Thanks, guys. The superstition thing is interesting Because I think I used to be more superstitious than I was Right I used to like Say Going to a job I used to try to

I used to like to drive the same way Have you got your lucky jocks on for this podcast? Yeah No My lucky socks But I'm wearing them in my jocks So it's going to be Impressive

And then I got One time I got There was was roadworks, right? And I thought, well, okay. And then I thought, you know what? It's not a sign. It's not good luck. It's not being superstitious. It's like how can being inflexible be a good thing?

Yeah. I've decided that. So now I've – the other thing is, you know, like, you know, I grew up with if you get an eyelash, you know, if you get an eyelash, you blow it and, you know, make a wish. I used to do that. And then I remember that every time I've got an eyelash in my eye, it shits me or it hurts me.

I get it out and I go, oh, this is great. I'll have a wish. Now, as soon as I get an eyelash, mate, it is gone. I had no wishes. Yeah. Well, look, I'm not surprised you don't believe in luck, given that your career is basically people going, do you want $5 million for this? And you're going, no.

And then they walk away and come back with $10 million. So why would you believe in luck when stuff like this just automatically happens, which is just a part of life? Why am I here? How many eyelashes do you have? Why am I here? How is this supposed to be fun for me? I thought we were just having a chat.

That's not an insult. That's a good thing to happen to you. Yeah, you have $10 million. That's great. That's a positive. Would you rather me be hanging your shit on you because you're homeless? No. I'm envious.

If I was homeless, I'd be on this podcast more, I think. You know what I mean? It'd be great. You could have it at my house. Which is outside. this podcast more, I think. You know what I mean? It'd be great. He could have it at my house. Whatever we found apart. Yeah, Carl, I met a guy last year who was a Richmond fan and all his life Richmond had been terrible. Halfway through their premiership season,

he went to the extreme thing of he put on, he would go to Richmond games supporting the other team and once he started doing that, they went all the way and won the grand final. Wow. Yeah. That's commitment. Yeah.

He said he was there at the Tigers beat the Crows in the grand final. He was crying and everyone thought other Crows fans were hugging him, telling him it'll be okay. And he had to pretend that he was sad crying. Oh, wow. Maybe we have to go over to London earlier, Tommy, so I can go to every match Liverpool play and barrack the other team and make this happen. I like how I have to come as well.

We'll just do more podcasts. I'm your lucky charm. Yeah, yeah. So for anyone like myself who isn't quite across how the Premier League works, what has to happen between now and when you're there? How many games do they have to... What percentage of games do they have to win?

Well, they have to win them all depending on how Manchester City, who are now top, go. Basically, they're one point ahead, so they have to drop points at some stage and we have to win more points than them from here on in. Essentially, though...

Yeah, Tommy, sorry, Danny, that if Manchester City win their remaining games... All of them. ...we can't win. Okay, right. And Manchester City are owned, are the richest club. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they're like Cobra Kai and Liverpool are Daniel and Mr Miyagi. Oh, okay. Now I vaguely know what you're talking about. Yeah. Man, I can't believe it's taken this long for you to bag out some of my references. I did a J.D. Salinger before and you let that slip.

Yeah, yeah. Karate Kid, though, that's fine, isn't it? Is Karate Kid not one of yours? No, no, I understood the second bit, but you said Cobra Kai. I'm like, were you talking about G.I. Joe? What the fuck is this? Like, you're making an unnecessary metaphor when we all understood the first bit.

Why are you complicating it with something we don't understand? Once again, why so angry? I don't understand. You're going to oversee. Because we're one point down. I know. That should be the thesis. Why is this guy so angry?

Everything's going great for him. And he sold out Sampang on his show. Sold out podcast over there. Yeah. Who's the guest? Great question. Do you want to come over? Yeah.

We can't book him on this continent, but Sandpang available every show in London. Yeah. Great. Because, yeah, as soon as... I don't know if we've talked about this yet. But look, we're one point behind. To be fair, Manchester City are showing signs of cracking.

We should be fine. They only won 7-0 this morning, so we should be fine. Losers. Because as soon as you put this out, that we're going and this is why we're going, then it started to slip. And then, of course, the listeners of this, they're right on you. They're like, you fucked us, Chando.

The listeners who support Liverpool. People who support Liverpool and people who support anyone else because they're just laughing at me as well. Fuck. I have a feeling that the sport gods are making it a better story for you. It's not that cool if you go over and your five points clear and you're over the league. I know you are.

I'll be on record with saying I'm fine with that. No, but that's not how they work. Manchester City are going to be up 2-0 in the last day and then you're going to have this miracle and they're going to fall down. It's going to be the best day of your life. Right. I believe our friend Milan might be coming along as well.

There you go. So you would be so drunk be coming along as well. There you go. So you would be so drunk you won't even remember. Yeah, yeah. We finally win the title after 30 years and I don't recall it at all. That happened to that Liverpool fan when you won the Champions League for the first time in ages in 2005. They were 3-0 down, Tommy, against AC Milan. And a Liverpool fan said, right, they're in Istanbul, I believe. And he just went, all all right game's over wiped like

sculled a bottle of vodka wiped himself out went to bed and liverpool won wow with amazing comeback and he missed all of it and he was like he was just watching on tv oh no i heard he was at the game and went back to the hotel oh right okay i was gonna say he's at the game he drinks a bottle of vodka then goes to bed where the fuck's the bed? Oh, the Istanbul Stadia are really good. It's a B and B and S. Bed, breakfast and stadium. I'm excited for you, mate. I think you'll get to enjoy the drama.

The double pressure's on, though. Now that I've gone out publicly and gone, we're going there for that reason and then we've dropped points. It's a fucking nightmare. It's tense, yeah. It's very tense. It's extremely tense.

Sounds like it's going to be a fun trip for you though, Tom. Well, that's it. This is the most I've ever cared about sport. I don't want to deal with bloody grumpy Gus while we're doing the fucking potty over there. Imagine you angry and grumpy. What a combination. Jet lagged and shitty. Could we do it?

The third last match is on the weekend before then. We literally do a podcast while the second last match, which is Newcastle v Liverpool away at St. James Park, we are on stage doing a podcast as the second last game of the season is happening. I'm going to come to that just to like, I'll have it on and I'll give you score updates. Yeah. I'll do that, man.

I would love to do that. Why are you going head to head with a football game over there? Not a lot of people are choosing one or the other, to be fair. You say that. We're not doing the podcast in Sunderland and people are going, which one should we go to today? It's like, we're in London. It's fine.

Oh, so you're in London for that one? Yeah. Could we do some sort of dum-dum viewing party for the last game before you leave so we could all go and cheer on Liverpool and to make the sport gods. Well, look, someone was saying this week, what will you do if Liverpool win? Like, you should come to Adelaide. I'm like, I'll fucking do anything. I'll put on record.

That's the wildest thing this person can come up with. You should go to Adelaide if you win. Well, I'm vehemently against going. Like, I know, Tommy, you vaguely want to go back and do a show. I've said fucking never again. I don't want to go to fucking Adelaide. Fuck Adelaide. Do you not have a good show in Adelaide?

No, look, there's a running thing with us with Adelaide where either they don't buy tickets or they don't buy them on time. They're not a ticket-buying town. They're not a pre-booked town. They turn up eventually, but it's on the day. Yeah. Country towns, what they do with shows are they go, no one's going to fucking sell this show out.

We'll just rock up at halftime and just walk in. Cities, Melbourne, you need to buy in advance. Adelaide, they go, no, we'll just get them at the door. So it drives you nuts because we'll be going to Adelaide a week before. It's like, cool, we've got 15 tickets. And then you get there on the day and it's like, we've got 100. Oh, great. Why didn't you

fucking do that three weeks before so we wouldn't have to worry about it so you're upset at the oh you got that you're upset

you're upset at the full house are you is that why you're upset I'm upset at having to stress about it for all those months leading up to a show

then you should hate Liverpool they're stressing you out by not locking in the title I don't expect them you can't it's not the same. I don't expect them. You can't... It's not the same thing.

This has turned into therapy. This is great. I was stressed about, you know, coming on this show. Yeah. Were you? Were you really? Not in the slightest. It was nice before we started.

You said, oh, I'm looking forward to this now. I wasn't to start with, but now I am. So, thank you. I feel like we did enough. We might want to talk about everything that was off air. Well, here's something we should follow up on. Sam, this show is on Patreon. People can subscribe to the show.

It's sort of like the salary that you get. Look at the look of surprise on his face. It's like a crowdfunded show as in instead of, you know, whoever pays your wage. Who owns your radio station? We've got a lot of bosses. The Murdochs? Is that a Murdoch-owned show?

Yeah, so Lachlan Murdoch's one of my bosses. Kerry Stokes is another boss. And who owns that seven and who owns ten? CBS. Yeah, there. Right. David Letterman owns. I've got a lot of bosses.

Right, so instead of them being our bosses Our bosses are like Some 25 year old unemployed G-boy 1640 Yeah So Yeah A lot of randoms

Sorry I've gotten in the way I've gotten in the way of the plug Well we got a message the other week From a listener who started subscribing on Patreon Under the name Juggernaut Which is the name of a bull On a farm that he works at. And he got the money to subscribe to us through selling this bull's semen.

It's like quite a... So every month he... It's perfect. Every month the money that comes to us from Juggernaut is the sales from the bull's semen. Yeah. And I said on the show that I am prepared in order to sing for our supper for one month. I am going to go to where Juggernaut is and I am going to retrieve the semen for that month.

This is something that we're looking into me doing. You've got your little bloody soccer game. It's getting pretty tense for you as well, isn't it? Do you know that's the same way Lachlan Murdoch pays me too? It's exactly the same. So you've got to... You're really going to do that? So I looked it up.

I hit up the guy and I looked into where this place is. So Juggernaut is in Hyden, which is in Western Australia. Is it far away from Perth? It's like four hours out of Perth. Oh, my God. Nothing for WA. So I was sort of looking up the town. I was like, is there some way...

Because how do we do this? Do I just go? Do I just make this a rogue mission? I just go and get it done? Do we meet in the middle? Or do we meet the bull halfway along the Nullarbor? Yeah, yeah. Just jack it off at some roadhouse?

Yes, yes. Because I was trying to look into what's there. Like maybe we could make a trip out of it. And I don't know. It's pretty quiet. Like it's most famous for a rock formation that looks like a wave. That's all they've got going on. Why don't you do a show then?

Imagine if they didn't pre-book. Yeah, exactly. Beating off a bull to an empty room is pretty brutal. And going, why didn't anyone come except for him? But just being angry that no one paid good money to come and see a 25-year-old environmental scientist. Exactly.

24, thank you. Sorry. Jack off a fucking farm animal. Yeah. But so, because we do have a lot coming up in the calendar. And I want to get on top of this thing now. Because like you said, a lot of threads... So your main problem with jacking off a bully is we're a bit busy at the moment.

The scheduling, yeah. It's a scheduling thing. Otherwise, you'd be there. That's why Pang hasn't done this show for so many years. He's been busy in the same way. I'm exhausted. Dr. Doolittle over here. Mr. Magoo, I'm going to remember that.

That's my takeaway so far right have you looked into the techniques of like do you physically just literally give the ball a hand job

or is there a tool yeah I read I read an interview with a guy who does I did I've been doing some research which is like watching a few videos

yeah already this is more research than anything I ever did for any uni assignment so this is my real passion. Classic mature age bull wanker. Yeah, yeah.

Tommy's clearly not dropping out of getting the drops out. This is going to look great on the thesis. There's like a, yeah, there is a, I read an interview with a guy who does this and there's like a bull fleshlight thing that they have. They kind of like fill... Bulls are getting online and looking up porn sites and clicking on the ads next to them.

That's fucking impressive. So you fill it up with warm water, 66 degrees, to simulate the inside of a bull vagina. I've never been so horny on this show. Cow vagina. Come on Danny been so horny on this show. Bulls don't have vagina. Cow vagina. Come on, Danny. It's 2019.

So then they, yeah, you just kind of jack it off with that. And this guy, he was like, they were interviewing him, asking him, do you think the bulls can tell the difference? And he was like, well, these ones we make sure that, probably not, but these ones have been with us for their whole lives. So we make sure they've never not, but these ones have been with us for their whole lives, so we make sure they've never experienced a real cow pussy before, just in case they – and he's like, you know, you wouldn't want them to.

Cow pussy? Slow down, environmental scientists. Dumb it down so we can understand what you're talking about. Maybe this is the thing that gets me the honorary degree. So, yeah, I think that is how I would do it. These poor bulls are not... They're still virgins. They're still fucking losers, really. Kind of, yeah. Say that to Juggernaut's face, mate.

Yeah, exactly. Well, maybe I will to distract him while he's jerking him off. Yeah, he's not a virgin. His samurai sword collection and fedora begs to differ. Thank you very much. He probably listens to this podcast. So, yeah, there is another, because there is another thing that I looked up

that's how to get it if it's to do a test, like if it's not, because there's for whatever it is. So now you have, you're in control, you're confident that you've got the technique, the skills to jerk off this ball at the moment? Well, there's a second thing you can do that's like a the other thing that i looked up is for if you're testing the semen and that i found out it's illegal to do that one if you're not a licensed veterinarian right so i think maybe there needs to be some qualification of exactly what we're

going to use recreational use only yeah maybe i think if you're doing it for a test it's like i love the idea that i get a criminal record for illegally jacking maybe. I think if you're doing it for a test, it's like, I love the idea that I get a criminal record for illegally jacking off a bull. So what you're saying is it's going to be illegal for you to do this unless you drink it

straight away afterwards. Is that what you're saying? I think in a roundabout way that is what I'm saying. Right. I think that was the first ever episode of Harry's Practice. You know what I mean?

So we want to come up with something new. The pilot. The pilot. Really not leaving yourself anywhere to go after that, are you, Dr. Harry? Dr. Harry left himself no wiggle room at all. What do we do for the finale? Also, I don't want to go to the after party. That's what you're serving.

Tune in to 7 Plus for some uncut scenes. No thanks. I think I got plenty from the edited version. Yeah, what? I'm excited. This sounds like it's actually going to happen. Scheduling dependent. That's what I want to work out because we do the comedy festival

and then we go pretty much straight to London and then there's only like a week after I get back before we go to Koh Samui. So what I want to work out is how do we do this? Do I just go or do we wait until we have a show in Perth and we tie it into that? I think maybe we try and do a show in Perth and do it a bit earlier than what we usually do. We usually do a yearly show maybe in November or so.

Maybe we pull that show forward, so to speak. But, I mean, that's a long time for this pool to be waiting. We usually do a yearly show maybe in November or so. Maybe we pull that show forward, so to speak. But, I mean, that's a long time for this bull to be waiting for sweet relief. That's good. You need to practice on some other animals. You need to build your way up to bull. Start on some sparrows and work your way up. Sam knows Jonathan Brown.

He's quite large. You could probably build up to him. No, I think a cow is a build-up to Jonathan Brown. Yeah, that's true. Right, interesting. But yeah, I need to go into training. I need to work out what I'm doing. I reckon you're training most mornings in your one-bedroom flat.

I would have thought a lifetime of experience there, Tommy. You're going to be all right. Flattering that you think it's comparable to that of a breed. Thanks, fellas. Great. I'm looking forward to it. I think your mum and dad would be pretty proud that you've finally got

some qualifications for something. Pretty open with them, but I think they might be kept out of the loop on this one. Well, you know, it might come up. They're probably going to find out about that. We are going to Koh Samui.

If you have heard about this, Sam, we have the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival. Not something that you guys in radio get to do, unfortunately. Sorry, mate. He's doing a sweet OB from Bunnings, Keysborough. Yeah. Yeah. Probably. Yeah.

When is that? June, mid-June. June 11 to June 16. I'll be there. So you'll be there. Great. Lovely. Looking for one last guest. Awesome. Locked in. We can't get you to Hawthorne, but sure,une. June 11 to June 16. I'll be there. So you'll be there. Great. Lovely. Looking for one last guest.

Awesome. Locked in. We can't get you to Hawthorne, but sure, we can get you to Thailand. I'm sure that'll be easy. Tommy brings his bull. You mean his cow. Cow. What is it?

Juggernaut? No, the fleshlight. Oh, the fleshlight, yeah. There's like wild animals. There's buffalo. There's buffalo. There's buffalo. I can practice in Costa Mili on some buffalo. There's buffalo. There's buffalo. I can practice in Cozumel on some buffalo.

There's buffalo on the side of the street. And I'm pretty sure Thailand don't have the rigid rules that Australia have about what you do with the sperm from bulls. There you go. Yeah, easy. Like you can pirate DVDs over there. I'm pretty sure you can just walk up to a buffalo and jack it off. Pirate sperm. Without showing any license.

I'm sure you can. Just selling authentic bull sperm and you get it and then you're like, hang on, this is just a fucking someone's handy cam recording of some sperm. Yeah, so if you're not telling your parents about this one, it might still come up because you are bringing them to the international podcast. Yes, my parents are coming along, yeah. They are staying at one of the official venues, one of the official resorts that we're using.

So no big deal, Sam, but we're split over two resorts over there. Obviously, one resort couldn't hold us all. You're a juggernaut. Tommy, if you would, please. Be my honour. So that's going to be interesting. Because you do bring your parents going to be interesting. Yeah.

Because you do bring your parents along to a lot of things. My parents have seen me do stand-up maybe three times in my life. Yeah. Your parents you seem to bring along to most things. Yeah, my parents have started to come to more and more pods. I don't think they really understand any of what's going on. Yeah. But they have been doing well. Yeah, they are.

That's good. In a weird way. Isn't that nice? At the very least, they would be excited by the amount of people that turn up to our things. Yes. I think that's – they probably – like my parents. They came to the – we did a show in Maryborough in my hometown and they turned up and they were – it was hard to tell which ones they were apart from everyone was 19 and they were

70. But, yeah. Because my parents – They were the only ones not laughing and going, adopted. Yeah. My parents were there as well. So I think it was just people trying to work out, okay, which one's which? Yeah, yeah.

Which set is which? So Tommy's parents quite supportive. Carl, your parents not as supportive. And do you think that's genetic, the way that you're abandoning your five-week-old daughter to go to watch a football team? They were supportive. I think they were the same sort of... I mean, yeah, not as supportive in terms of not turning up to everything like Tommy's parents do.

But they're, you know, they live on the farm in Maribor. They're not coming to everything in Melbourne. So you're leaving a 10-week-old child for how many weeks? How long are you going to be gone for? Two. And then to Thailand for how long? Two. You'll have missed a quarter of her life.

That's interesting, son Well, as long as she's alive after that Like, there's plenty of good years to come Like, I'm not missing out on heaps at the moment, am I? Nah, they're pretty dull Yeah, all I'm doing at the moment is changing nappies And it tends to be I don't want to get too deep into dad talk

But it's like You've talked about nothing else ever since the baby's come It's unbelievable I didn't think you were going to be, I don't want to get too deep into dad talk, but it's like... You've talked about nothing else ever since the baby's come. It's unbelievable. I didn't think you were going to be one of those. I'm not going to be one of them. But they're just eating and sleeping. That's it at the moment, don't they? I'm not missing out on anything.

But then there's the first coming up, like the first smile, the first... I am, yes. I'm working on my wife to say uh to come over and to bring our child over there to bring our child to its real home but but it's not working very well at the moment which uh yeah look i'll keep working but i believe her words are i'm not fucking going back there again haven't you gone there enough? Is that the daughter? That's her first words. Haven't you gone there enough?

Wow, a whole sentence. Well, I didn't say this because my wife was at the podcast festival last year in Koh Samui and she and I obviously didn't say this at the time, but she was pregnant at the time. So my child has officially been there already. Ah, wow. Yeah. So she doesn't have a Thailand passport yet, but we'll work on that.

But your parents are going to be there, which is exciting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm fascinated to see how it goes, but I think it'll be fine. Yeah. I'm just, you know what? I want to put this on record.

Guys listening, if you're coming, leave them alone, okay? That's the thing I'm worried about. I'm worried about them getting, I think day to day they'll be fine. I'm worried about them getting harassed

by some of the people that listen to this. I'll put this on record. Mr. Daslow, Mr. Alsop, leave everyone else alone. Yeah, okay. That's very fair.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's more the concern. Okay, interesting. I'll have to, I'll put that out to him. Yeah. Because he wants

to be involved. I would imagine. He's very keen to be involved. He is very keen with that sort to him. Yeah. Because he wants to be involved. I would imagine. He's very keen to be involved. He is very keen with that sort of stuff. You're getting him up at some stage, aren't you? No. Could be a gateway. He's written stuff that we've read out on the show.

He wrote a lot of pornos in his days. Yeah. He was writing pornographic short stories that we were reading out. Any about balls? No. Maybe that could be his next project. Yeah. Have you had a very supportive parents growing up,

given into what you do, Sam? Yeah, I suppose. They haven't. I think they're probably... Do you have any feelings at all? Not really. You're like operating at a six out of ten the whole time. It feels like there's no pain, but there's no joy.

Would that be fair? No, that's wrong. There's lots of... Ups and downs? What's the happiest you've been in the last year? Every time except for now. I'm very happy now. I can't remember what the question was, Dan. What do you hope I I can't remember

what the question was now what do you have I can tell you my parents very supportive but they didn't really you know I was a bit late to

you know I wasn't doing I wasn't doing podcasts overseas and all that I came late to your footy career yeah

what a career so they were supportive you know you talk about Tommy dropping out I dropped out I went to I came late to... You had your footy career. Yeah, what a career. So, yeah, they were supportive. You know, you talk about Tommy dropping out. I dropped out of like... I went to... I studied science, commerce, marketing. Right. Didn't finish any of them.

Then I played a bit of footy and then worked in a pub. So, they didn't care as long as I was happy. They didn't push you at all? No, they should have. Well, yeah. I can tell you when Sam's happy. My parents are the same. They've't push you at all? No, they should have. Well, yeah. I can tell you when Sam's happy. My parents are the same. They've never pushed me at all.

I think they sort of just go, oh, you'll work it out. Yeah, that's what happens. When am I happy? You know, we work together twice a week. The time I see the most joy in your eyes is when usually on Have You Been Paying Attention? We get the guest quiz masters come out.

When it's over. When it's over. No, the guest quiz masters come out who it's over when it's over no the guest quiz must come out who's usually a celebrity or or a bachelor contestant or something and often they think they think oh i've seen sam pang go some people i know i'll get on the front foot and i'll bag out sam pang right and they go in and the look of joy in your face of like i can throw punches now. The preemptive strike from Bachelor contestants

is always, it is quite amusing. Right. It's a weird strategy. Yeah. Can we go through the celebrities you've destroyed? But probably,

they edit it so you don't look as bad but I'm in the studio. Like, my favourite one was Alex Perry and George Columbaris. Alex Perry,

Alex Perry? Yeah. The fashion guy, the bald guy with sunglasses on top of his head. Yeah, that guy. Alex Perry Oh and George Columbaris Alex Perry Alex Perry? Yeah The fashion guy Yeah The bald guy with sunglasses on top of his head Yeah that guy He was on I was just thinking of two things

That I have nothing in common Like less in common Like Sydney and fashion Yep And that's him Yeah And he came in And he just didn't

He just didn't have a good time I'm like well what are you doing here If you're not Like you know You should know what to expect Yep And then He just didn't have a good time. What are you doing here? You should know what to expect. And then, who's the other? Colin Barris. Yeah, Colin Barris. They couldn't have left.

Well, this is the thing. That show's on a Sunday night. So he's a celebrity chef. He's on MasterChef. Yeah. And he owns a bunch of restaurants. Not everyone on this show. People from overseas. People don't know everything that happens.

Do we have to start catering to the overseas listeners? Yes, yes. Oh, are they going to love my... We're doing a show in London. We have to look after them. I thought they'd just be expats. Really? Yeah.

Oh, well, I'm sure everyone in London's loving this. No, they are, because now it's been explained. They have bulls in London. They have Koh Samui in London. They have sperm in London. This show will just be the bull story. That's my hope. Yeah.

I hope so too. I hope I'm not even in it by the time. You'll fix this up, won't you? In what way? You know, like an edit. We'll put in the audience applause and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Apart from that.

Yeah. This is like the Flintstones we had in the laugh track later on. Thank you, Wilma. We should also talk quickly about, so we've got a listener over, yeah, yeah. Apart from that, yeah. Yeah, this is like the Flintstones we ate in the laugh track later on. Thank you, Wilma. We should also talk quickly about, so we've got a listener over in Sweden, Sam, who runs a brewery over there who wants to make a beer for us. He's a listener of the show and he gave us this directive. He said, I'm a fan of the show. Let's get-

What are you more impressed by, getting a beer or Tommy jerking off a ball at this point? There's a lot going on. We're really busy at the moment. If you get the beer made, you could jerk off the ball while drinking the beer. Well, see, this is the idea. This is the plan. So he said to us, call it whatever you want, design the label and everything. The dream is it be like we'll sell it to the public,

but let's sneak in some references and stuff for the pot. So the challenge to us was let's think of something that is funny if you get the show, but just anyone on the street could see it and go, great, that looks like an interesting can. You could have it for sale in a proper shop, not just a specified dum-dum lager. It's a vague reference to us that can go out in the public and people still appreciate it. Surely the word juggernaut should be in there. Lager is a vague reference to us that can go out in the public and people still appreciate it. Surely the word juggernaut should be in there. So this is the thing.

We talked about it on the episode where we first talked about juggernaut, and I said, what a great name for it. You have a little cute cartoon of a bull, juggernaut's brew. So it's like to anyone else, it's like, that's cute, but if you know it's like they're kind of saying that there's sperm in this beer. Bull sperm. Bull sperm. Your suggestion was that we,

which a few other listeners had suggested as well, was Westgate Lager. Yes. So I heard back from the head honcho. We find the Westgate Bridge funny because people jump off it to their death. So, you know. You're not on radio anymore, Sam. No, I've always found it funny.

For that very reason. I'm preaching to the choir, sorry. Exactly. But yeah, the head honcho of this brewery, he wrote back and he reckons, oddly enough, he reckons a Westgate reference isn't going to fly over in Sweden. Oh, right. He's way more into the Juggernaut reference than he is to the Westgate reference. So I don't know how you feel about that.

I think Juggernaut's leading the chat, but we're pretty close. We've got to make a call pretty soon. Yeah, that's fine. What sort of beer is it? But to make that a proper reference to the show, we need to follow through with this whole story and make sure you get bummed by Bull or whatever the aim was again. That's why I'm beating off over a picture of Bullwinkle J Moose every night before bed.

But that's not a Bull. I don't know. The Bull's in the name. Michael Jordan? I'm working my way up to it. How did it all of a sudden get to the point where Tommy is now having sex with the bull? I'm spicing it up. It's the weird world.

Is there any other options other than juggernaut? In terms of other bulls? No, no. In terms of... Yeah, I want Tommy to be happy with the bull. No, in terms of names Yeah, I don't want Tommy to be happy with the ball. No, in terms of names for the field. You want Tommy to spread his seed and not just look at one ball. We should have a show about it, The Ball Chiller.

Yeah. I don't want him tied down to one ball. I want him out there free. No, is there any other names for the... Play the literal field. Other options for the name for the beer. Well, that was the other option was Westgate Lager. I mean, I don't think, I think he's a bit

worried where he shouldn't be because people don't know what the Westgate Bridge is in Sweden or whatever. Yeah. But, you know, we don't have to have someone jumping off a bridge in the fucking little logo or anything like that. But anyway. Yeah. To the, this is technical, to the west of Sweden is Norway.

So it could be maybe the West Gate means the Vikings are going to invade. Ah, that's not bad. What sort of beer is it? Is it a lager? Is it a pale ale? Is it a saison? I think he was going to make it all... He had an idea for it to be all themed around the bull as well.

Okay. But yeah, he was like a straight pilsner won't work. You're getting a bull. You're getting a beer named after you. Okay. But yeah, he was like a straight pilsner won't work. You're getting a bull, you're getting a beer named after you. Yeah. Well,

after a boulder he's going to jerk off really. That's true. Yeah. Oh, by the way, that reminds me,

when I was looking, when I was putting into Google how do you masturbate a bull? Yes. One of the first suggested Google

things that came up was do you mean does Red Bull have sperm in it? Hot question on Google. The people want to know, what am I drinking? I've drunk a lot of that stuff. I was too scared to click the link.

Because Red Bull was invented by this fan of a podcast and he had just wanked off. Maybe that was, yeah, interesting. Maybe, you know what? Maybe we call the beer Red Bull. This could be Blue Bull because of the blue balls it's got because you haven't jerked it off yet. Maybe

this is the way to do it. We just start spitballing other options on the pod. This guy listens every week. He's the one selling this. Did you say we're going to spitball option? Is that how you're going to lube it up? Yeah. Right.

I presume. If I can't get one of those fleshlight things in time. Yeah. God. Is the fleshlight... Apparently, I've seen you can get fleshlights that are based on like porn stars' vaginas. Are there famous cow ones that you could get? Oh, interesting.

You know... What's the most... The one that jumped over the moon? There we go. Clarabelle from Disney? Yeah. Oh, yeah, that old 1940s. Yeah.

Someone wanted to jerk off... A bull wanted to jerk off a 1940s bull. That's weird. What is the most... We've overstepped the line, haven't we? We've found the line, haven't we? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's check on the master's theory.

That's too far. What is the most famous cow? Yeah. That's a good question What is the most famous cow? Yeah. That's a good question. Is there a famous cow? Hmm. There's, Wagyu is a type of cow.

No, not. No idea's a bad idea. Not a cut of meat. Benny the Bull, the mascot of the Chicago Bulls. I guess. Never heard of it. All right.

Never heard of it. Is there any, that's weird that there's not... There's usually like... There's Mickey Mouse. Yeah, like if you said famous elephant, you'd go Dumbo. Yes. Or in Mouse, Mickey Mouse.

Yeah. But cow. Movies about a cow? Ferdinand? That was a kid's movie. Oh, yeah. Was that a cow? Yeah, it's a bull, I think.

It's a bull. There we go. Oh, but yeah, no. But of course, Juggernaut apparently is heterosexual. Don't want to be heteronormative. Yeah. I think we're going to make Juggernaut the most famous bovine on the planet by the time I'm done with him.

What a legacy. I think you're going to go the Kim Kardashian route and make a sex tape and I think Juggernaut's going to make you famous. Oh, that's pretty cool. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe if we could video that and then get it uploaded to RedTube afterwards. Okay. You and Juggerna cool. Yeah. Yeah. People. Maybe if we could video that and then get it uploaded to RedTube afterwards. Okay.

You and Juggernaut. Yeah. Are you seriously surprised that I haven't done this podcast more often? Hey, you could have us on your radio show and the secret sound could be Juggernaut's load. Yeah. No one would get it. Juggernaut's load hitting the back of Tommy's throat. That could be the secret sound in the morning.

God. What? Again. Fuck those cornflakes off. We've got a new sound. Oh, boys. All right. I reckon we'd better wrap it up for another week.

I'm just warming up. All right. As Juggernaut said to you in six months' time. I can't wait. I reckon we'd better wrap it up for another week. I'm just warming up. All right. As Juggernaut said to you in six months' time. I can't wait. I really can't wait. I'm going to keep an eye. Yeah, I'm curious now, Tommy. I'm going to keep an eye on you.

I want to know how this ends. Just like the police. You're going to keep an eye on Tommy about this. This is an OB for us. Travelling to Western Australia. An OB BJ. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Are you going to massage it first?

Is it going to be a proper rub and tug? Or are you just going to go straight to business? What do you mean a proper rub and tug? Yeah, alright It's not improper One of those legitimate above board rub and tugs that you get Are you going to go in Like when we were in Thailand

Are you going to get some tips maybe From some of the places there? Oh, interesting. And then I can claim it on tax because it's research. They might out-hound. Do you have a license? Yeah. Just taking notes.

Fascinating. Yeah, massage parlour. You can massage the bull from both ends and have some Wagyu steak afterwards and get the business done. Right. So this is just me really getting in the mindset. Yeah. Getting really ready to go. Like one of those chefs that doesn't want to waste

any of the animal. Oh, yeah. Nose to tail. Nose to dick to tail. All right, folks. We've got to wrap it up for another week. Danny McGinley, Sam Payne,

thank you so much for joining us. Thank you. It was wonderful. Thank you. I loved it. I didn't have to talk about myself at all. It's great.

Yeah, right. Well, that's what happens. We generally't have to talk about myself at all. It's great. Yeah, right. Well, that's what happens. We generally just want to talk about ourselves with an audience. Right. G-Boy 1640 is not going to be happy again this week, I don't think. No, he'll be fuming. Yeah. Fuck him.

Danny, you got a new pod starting. Well, yeah. Myself, Limo and Tess Armstrong, they came to play. It's on ABC Grandstands. Yep, yep. And it's also released as a podcast. And AFL Game Day back next, whenever the men's season starts. Channel 7, that is.

Channel 7, Sunday mornings. Seven, mate, if you're in Queensland and New South Wales. Mm-hmm. Now, Sam, have you got anything going on? Nothing to plug, Carl. Oh, right. We leave that to your PA. Sorry.

Nothing to plug. I. Oh, right. We leave that to your PA. Sorry. Nothing to plug. I wanted to just finish with, I found an old piece of scrap paper that had our names on it, Tommy. And it had MC Daniel Kitson. Yep. David Quirk. Tommy Daslow. Auntie Donna. Yep.

And me. You. Good show. No, I didn't close. I'm just saying. Tommy Daslow the Aunty Donna yep and me you good show no I didn't close I'm just saying they're the ones I remember this was like your third stand up gig or something

yeah I do remember that kids and hosting that was awesome yeah terrifying but it was you know you did good

I remember you did good hey look at that is that why you brought it up no no I found it weird that I found a piece of paper with your name on it. Right. And actually, then there was Juggernaut right at the end.

Juggernaut was the big closer. The big closer. Yeah. That piece of paper, hold on to that, because otherwise the police are going to find that and knock on your door in about six months' time and go, I've got evidence you know this guy who jumped off a pool. Did he ever give you any indication he was going to abuse an animal

or anything like that pretending to be a veterinarian in WA good luck with that mate maybe that's maybe we need to get the bull

maybe we need to get Juggernaut we put him on a boat and we take him out to international waters so I can put him on a cruise ship so he can have a casino

out there and anyone can jerk off the bull some knife fighting yeah yeah great that is cruise ship. So you can have a casino out there and anyone can jerk off the ball as well. Yeah, yeah. Great. That is the Fairestar fun ship. There's more fun in that fun ship than previously.

All right. Yeah, guys, thanks for joining us. Sam, we'll see you in six years. Thanks for having me, boys. Great to be back. I'll be back next week. Look, by the time you're back on, he could be jerking off chickens by then. You know, who knows?

He could just be going small. No, I'll be able to. Next time I'm on, I'll be able to read. I'll read part of the thesis. I'll read it out. There you go. Live reading. Whenever that thesis is done, I'm on.

Great. Perfect. Great. All right, locked in. Guys, thanks very much for listening, and we'll see you next time. See you, mates. What's that? What's this noise?

What's going on? I'm just getting a transmission coming in. Oh, what's it saying? In Morse code. Yes. Can you not hear? Do you not know how to read Morse code? Do you want me to put my fingers on your bumps and read them?

Yes. It's just come in from Command HQ. Yes. They've done it again. Oh, wow. Yeah. What's that in reference to? They didn't say.

Right. All those little, what people just heard, all that said was they've done it again. Right. So I don't know what that could mean. Is that from, is that military, like some sort of code or is that like SOS? Yeah, what could it mean? Something's happened that's happened before? I guess we'll never know.

Yeah, we're not military men. Yeah, right. Okay, if anyone, if there's any brigadiers out there listening, if they could let us know what that means in layman's speak, that would be great. If there was a war and you got conscripted, would you go or would you be a draft dodger? If you could get out of it, sure.

Why wouldn't you? But would you not – you know how like Elvis, you know, he went to war and it made him like more popular? Yeah. What if that happened to us? What if the podcast got conscripted and we go and then we come back and everyone's like, you know what, we're going to start coming to the solo shows now did did it really make you more popular i don't know if it did well i don't know i mean trump didn't go and he became president well okay interesting yeah interesting so we so our options

are we go and we become so fat that we eventually die on the toilet or we don't go and we become president we're probably going to end up dying the same way. Put it this way. Most successful and well-off people dodged it. So that means that we would probably have to go into it. Yes. Yes. Them taking a look at the Patreon and going, sorry, boys.

Yeah. Not enough. You're going to have to go. Yep. Yeah. Hey, fun episode. Finally got Sam Pang back, which is great. The white whale. And, you know, we're being have to go. Yeah, hey, fun episode. Finally got Sam Pang back, which is great. The white whale.

And, you know, we're being silly to him. It was very generous of him. He didn't have a lot of time. He's literally busy with a lot of things. Not so much. Not as much thank you to Danny McGinley. Of course he should do this show. He's got not heaps better to do.

So, yeah, fun to have Sam back in, back into the little clubhouse. Thank you, Sam. Thank you very much. Fun times. A lot of live shows coming up, like we've said, Tommy. At the top of the episode, we've got Canberra, Melbourne, London, Koh Samui, Sydney, Newcastle. So much on.

Guys, go, if you're still thinking about, there's still people thinking about kosamui um go to our site little dunham club.com slash kosamui and find out all the info including the discount codes that you can get to stay at the resort that is you know that is the official resort of the podcast uh the ozo chuing samui or its sister resort the amari you need to stay in them to be part of the festival. Plus there's a festival ticket that you need to buy. All those details are on the website if you can find out about that.

Heaps of great guests confirmed. You've got another podcast there as well. Do go on this year. It's the final one, Koh Samui. So it's definitely worth going to. If you're on the fence, get off that damn fence. Yeah. And go to Thailand.

Yeah. The fence, they'll give you splinters. Why would you want to be on that? One side of the fence is home. Other Thailand yep the fence they'll give you splinters why would you want to be on that one side of the fence is home other side of the fence is Koh Samui yeah so work out look at the compass

and work out which way is which and then just tilt yourself in that direction yes head first onto the ground yeah but just make a decision Melbourne's coming up

that's going to be heaps of fun still a few tickets left for that of course if you want to find out about the drunk cast we haven't talked about it for a little while

it's the thing that finishes the run of shows that we do in Melbourne basically if you've got a season pass they're sold out now but that would guarantee you entry into the

into the drunk cast at the end of those shows on Sunday April 21 at 11pm it's on a long weekend this year Tommy it is which means it is

it's going to be wilder than usual. It's going to be... Yeah, I'm very curious about this. Already you get people fucked up, you know, off their head when there's work the next day on a Monday. No work the next day. Fuck, this could be a big one. So if you've got the season pass, it's five bucks to get in.

If you don't have a season pass and you have a ticket to one of the other individual shows in Melbourne, you'll be let in after the season passes, after the super passes. Yep. Once there's room after them, you can then come in when you line up and then it's $10 for you. Yep. If you don't have either of them, you're sort of shit out of luck. Pretty much.

Yep. We would normally say if there's room, you can go in after that. Yeah. But given that it's a public holiday the next day, I can't see that being the case. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. If you fall into those categories, get yourself a ticket.

There's still plenty of time to get yourself a ticket, but they are filling up. Yeah. We do have a lot of people coming already, so get onto that. And some great guests locked in. Some very great guests locked in. It's going to be another exciting season of shows there. Yeah, so easy. I think that's all we need to sort of labour on at the moment.

Yeah. Looking forward to London, as we talked about in the episode. That's nearly sold out, all of that. Kappa's got a show on sale as well now. And so do you, Tommy. Yep. Mine's on Monday the 6th of May at 4pm. It's the bank holiday.

Yeah, it's a public holiday that day. So come down. And Kappa's is the Sunday, the 5th of May at 4pm. It's the bank holiday. It's a public holiday that day. So come down. And Kappa's is the Sunday, the 5th of May at 9.30, I believe. It's basically, we've got two live podcasts back to back plus a little bit of stand-up within one of them. And then there's a break, then there's another show. And so I guess

in that point, we will be hanging out with people that want to come and say hello, have a beer with. We'll do a bit of that. So if you're one of those people, you hang around, have a beer with us, and then if you want to go to Capo Show after that, go for it. Make it worth his while apart from the fact that all of you listeners have fucking paid for everything he's done. So get on to that. Lovely.

And hopefully celebrate the title success with me at that point. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep. We'll have won at Newcastle away and the title will be ours and I'll get so drunk I'll absolutely ruin Nick Capper's solo show. Oh, because there'll be, yeah, there's a game on while we're doing the, yeah, right, right, right. Yes, that's the second last match of the season

as we're doing one of those live podcasts on the Sunday. Great. Love it. Please, St. James Park, Rafa Benitez, please lay down your arms up there in Newcastle. Let us win that. He was our manager when we won the European Cup last time, Tommy. Right. Yep.

And what, now he's not? Well, he's, you know, you don't hang on to managers forever. But he's a very beloved figure in Liverpool history. Ah, okay. So people still love Rafa. And if he could possibly say it in his heart, he still lives in Liverpool. And if he could find it in his heart to maybe surrender a few points up there. Maybe three points.

Oh, so you think he's like a double agent at this point? Well, last time we played him, he did put out a severely weakened team. Ah, okay. With an eye to another match coming up, but still, nice timing. I find that to be the weirdest thing about sports, that players can just, you know, it's like year to year, all of a sudden you're playing against the team that you used to be in. Yeah, yeah.

You go from like, this guy's the best to this cunt. Yes, yes. It does happen a lot. The foundation for the movie Basketball. Have you ever seen that? I have. I enjoyed it. It's great.

Yeah. I've been thinking recently about re-watching it. Yeah. It's funny. I wouldn't mind. I used to be, when I was like 15. Basketball or Orgasmo? Which one did you like more?

I've never seen Orgasmo, actually. Me and my friends were obsessed with Basketball when we were like 15. Right. We would rent it from the video shop maybe every second or third week. Really? Yeah, just obsessed. Right. It's so funny.

Yeah. It is good. Very silly. Yeah, I never really watched South Park enough considering I would think it's a pretty good show. Well, it's a great combo where it's like half South Park but then it's like, I don't know if it's the same guys, but it's that like naked gun sort of style of movie. Yeah. So it's a great crossover of those two. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cultural comedic forces. Orgasmo, not as good. It's okay. Really? But that's Matt and Trey. Yeah. Like they made it and everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Lovely. Good to get those facts out of the way. What else is happening? Tommy, any other loose ends we need to clean up? We're in live show season. While this episode has come out, we have done a show in Brisbane. We've kicked off the world tour.

Yeah. Fuck, it's a shame that we didn't do a world tour t-shirt. Oh, really? Yeah. Brisbane, Canberra, Melbourne, London, Coast of Louis. Sydney. Sydney.

Newcastle. Newcastle. Yeah. It's not, that's not really like that chart of evolution. That's like more of a slug that grew into a man and then went back into the ocean. Yeah.

Slug that grew into a man and then grew into us. Yeah. So in many ways, it's pretty appropriate. Yeah. Yeah. Who then went back into the ocean off a bridge. Yeah. Yeah. Slug that grew into a man that then grew into us. Yeah. So in many ways, it's pretty appropriate. Yeah. Yeah. Who then went back into the ocean off a bridge.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Man, a lot of live shows. I hope you guys like live shows. I hope we record these well because I know that's a bit of a bugbear of some people. Well, there you go. You've jinxed in the same way that you've jinxed Liverpool.

No. A lot of live shows coming up, which is fun for us. We love to do the live shows. You've got to stage the episodes in a slightly different way. You've jinxed Liverpool. No. A lot of live shows coming up which is fun for us. We love to do the live shows. You've got to stage the episodes in a slightly different way. You've got to have

Yeah it's like a little Rockest Edford that we do. Yeah. Yeah. So I hope you guys are all geared up for a bunch of them.

We'll try and sprinkle a few studio episodes within them somewhere. Hopefully. So no one will have anything to

complain about. But I guess you'll find a way. They'll find a way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I don't think there's any other business that we need to attend to, really. But the live ones, again, you know, always happy to have a chat and whatever if you want

to come up before or after. I mean, before if you want to, but we'll be busy. Not before. Yeah. Okay. Not before. Don't even look at us before. Yeah.

Yeah. No eye contact before the live show, guys. Afterwards, some eye contact after is fine but try and be cool yeah yeah yeah just bracing for another big couple of months of compliments only guys have a think just before you before you come up love meeting you guys love chatting but sometimes fuck it's hot like just really have a think about what you're planning on saying and is it really necessary and appropriate to someone who is essentially a stranger? Yeah.

Just a bit of – Should we get a breathalyser on people that are coming up to us after shows? God, it's not always alcohol. That's the worst bit. Compliments only. I'm putting the line in the sand. Great. Come up and say how much you loved it.

If you've got anything you didn't like about it, you know what? Go outside the venue, scream it into the ether. There you go. Yeah. Great. Scream it at the gods of comedy.

Yeah. And they'll pass it on to us. Exactly. Later. At the weekly meeting that we have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. At the performance review. When we go to the top of the hill every week

and collect the tablets that they give us. This big stone tablet that just says, jacking off a bull. And then we come down from on high. All right, subject. Yeah, yeah. Go to Thailand, jack off a bull. Crowdsurf.

That's basically it. Sure. Well, you can't write too much on a stone tablet. That's true. Yeah. All right, let's crack in already because I'm waiting for my wife and child to come home and I want to get this done before they come home

and we'll wake them up with the horrible things that we say this is a rare one of us doing it back to back doing the ad straight after the epi yep I think we have just been sprung already so I think we'll read out none this week no we're going to do it anyway.

Okay. So, hey, for people that this might be their first time, let us know if it is. This is what a weird time to get on board. What we do is we get sponsored by listeners of the show. What happens is that people go to patreon.com slash little dum-dum club, and they help us out. They keep this show running by giving donations every week.

And that middleman, Patreon, they facilitate that happening. But what we do is we go back, we give back to listeners. We give out a free magazine every month. We give a free bonus episode every month. We do a Facebook group, all that sort of stuff. All that information is available on our website and on patreon.com slash little dumb mum club. So look up those details.

Also, what happens is there's a chance of you having your name read out every week. Well, you don't get that same name read out every week. You get a chance once a week. That would be great if we had just read the same fight, however many names every few. I think we dodged that one. Carl, I don't think they suspect a thing.

Great. But that would be great if we just read the same names every single week. Great. Think of how good the jokes about them would be by now. Should there be a Patreon tier for that happening? If this was just an open mic. Should there be a Patreon tier for that? As part of the names you get read out every week, there's one name.

What would we call it? The Lifetime Membership. Yeah. Something like that. That's actually pretty good. We have to rip off the same name every week. Oh, dude. That would be week, there's one name. What would we call it? The Lifetime Membership. Yeah. Something like that. That's actually pretty good. We have to rip off the same name every week. Oh, dude. That would be weird.

Let's do it. Even if you had the same surname every week and you were trying to rip off it every week, that would be fucking difficult. That would be... It'd sound ridiculous. That's insane. You'd sound like an idiot. That's the definition of insanity, as people want to say over and over.

If you were the kind of person that did that, there's no way your wife wouldn't have left you by now. Yeah. Just a raving maniac. Yes. Let's do it. Let's start a tier. What should it be? How much a month would you want to just read the same name again and again and again?

It has to be. It has to be. It has to be 100 at least. A cool hundro. Yeah. Cool hundo. Is that it? Yep.

Okay. Anyone, if you want. And you can dictate. you can send us stuff. It's got to be 150. I'm putting it up. 150? Okay. It's been a second bidder and it's the first person.

All right. That made the first bid, which was me. Yeah, we'll add that to the tier. So, of course, what we do is we plug all the names into the unplanned title alternator so it can be completely fair and random. We're happy to hack the system if we get enough money, but at the moment, this is all fair, above board. Yep.

We have adjudicators in every week, four old men that just look at us from across the room and make sure this is completely fair. Well, that'll be it. If we start getting $150 a month off a few people, then the override codes in the unplanned title alternator are pretty expensive. Yeah. And we'll be able to afford that.

Yeah. Which will allow us to do that. We'll still – The money isn't going to us. It's going to the software. Yeah, yeah. The software is actually $155 a month. So if you plug in –

It's a patch that you have to get. Yeah, yeah. We will still be losing – we'll lose money on the deal still. But we're happy to do it. Yeah. Just for no good reason. Generous benefactors that we are. Yeah.

Just the amount of money. We don't really make any money off this podcast, but the software company that make all the programs that have got to do with just reading out names. Rolling in it. Absolutely killing it. Fuck. Must be nice. Yeah.

They base the character of Scrooge McDark and his vault off that software company. They've been around that long too. Yeah. Carl Barks. Back before there was computers. They were designing this software. They knew. Yeah.

Okay. Let's crack in. Let's get into it. We'll do... Look. Yeah. Look. I believe we'll have to...

Keep it brief. Yeah. Keep it brief. Keep it quicker than normal. Yeah. We won't do 10 or 20 or 30 like usual we'll probably

get down to single figures or something yep see how we go 7 or 8 yeah about that round it down

or whatever so thank you to Patreon subscriber first cab off the rank this week do you like that saying first cab off the rank you're a big fan of it it's one of those sayings I have no feeling on whatsoever.

It's just part of the fabric of life. Yeah. You know, you just say it. Right. But you don't... Right. I don't know, first... But it...

Well, I mean, it is very outdated now. Do you want to do that? Do you want to... You know, there's nothing that pisses off taxi drivers more than trying to get into the second cab off the rank. Because it just fucks their whole... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Their way of working.

It gets people really angry. So you know what? Let's do that. Let's do the second cab off the rank this week first. Can't tell you the last time I was at a rank. Really? Yeah. Still love to use the ranks.

Do you? Yep. Where's the nearest... Where are you getting... In the city. ...the rank that you're going to? In the city. The one out the front of Flinders Street?

The one? No, never that one. Okay, that's chaos. A Saturday night, that is bedlam. No, you're going to? In the city. The one out the front of Flinders Street? The one? No, never that one. Okay, that's chaos. A Saturday night, that is bedlam. No, you're wasting your time. Yeah. You don't really want to go home if that's where you're going. Yeah, yeah.

You're busy getting stuck in at clocks. Yeah, yeah. You want to get chips and gravy or you want to get something fucked. Where's the rank you're going to? The rank I'm going to is out the front of Spleen. Is that a rank? Well, that's definitely where taxis hang out. Yeah, but isn't there's cabs just assembling in a certain place? Is that a rank? Well, that's definitely where taxis hang out.

Yeah, but isn't there's cabs just assembling in a certain place and then there's a formalised rank where they've got a sign like this is a rank. Yes, look. Because the only one I can think of is that one at Flinders Street. In Melbourne, yeah. Look, I'm being a bit loose with the term rank, but I guess what I'm meaning is where cabs congregate. Because those guys aren't fussy. You can get into anyone there.

Oh, no, no, no. Really? No, no, no, no. Interesting. No, no. They form in a line. They move along. Really?

There's an order there. Don't worry. Right. You can't go higgledy-piggledy there either. I think that's about the one rule of cabs is you get in a line in the first one, the first cab off the rank, as it were. I've had a lot of, like, the first one, the driver's just not there. He's just in 7-Eleven getting a coffee.

Right. So then you go to get in the second one because the driver's actually there. Yeah. First guy, first cab off the rank comes out of 7-Eleven. Yes. Now he's shitty that you're not following protocol. Totally. It's like, you're in there getting a latte.

Yeah. But to be fair, he's shitty. He could be shitty twice because the protocol is the second cab off the rank points at the first. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've had that before. I've had exactly

what you're talking about and the second cab people go, no, mate, you've got to get in the first and you look at the first one, he's just outside the cab eating a kebab

and you're like, mate, well, let me in and, you know, stop eating your kebab and drive and I've got no problem with this whole arrangement

but at the moment the second guy is fucking in the driver's seat let's just drive they're just doing a lot of hanging out in Hungry Jacks and stuff no wonder Uber came along

and fucked these idiots over that's what I was going to say should we not in 2019 be updating the phrase to first Uber off the app oh nice because first cab off the rank

people you know there'd be people who'd listen to this who don't even know what we're talking about right now there'd be youths that have never seen a fucking cab in their life. We'd have 18-month-year-old listeners.

Like my baby in the next room at the moment has no idea what we're talking about. My baby's five weeks old, literally cannot make head nor tail of what we're saying at the moment. So yeah, you're right. Maybe we update it. But look, let's give a grand hurrah to that saying right now by going to the second cab off the rank and really annoying the first person i was about to read out so oh you're gonna yeah you're not are we gonna read out the first one at all we're gonna circle no we're gonna circle back we're gonna skip the order okay so second cab off the rank oh i can see the the first person just furious already but the great bit is they don't

even know it yet. Not yet. Once we read them out, second or third or whatever. Their spider sense is going to be tingling. Yeah, yeah. I'm so annoyed, I don't know why. Right. Thank you, too. Second of all, second off the rank this week, thank you to Patreon subscriber Nathan McCoy.

The real McCoy. Well, I assume he's real. Oh, you think this could be an alias? Well, you'd be silly to put in a name and to contribute money to this association that we have here. Under a pseudonym? Yeah, under such an average, boring pseudonym. I like the name Nathan. Do you?

I'm a fan. I don't. I knew a guy called Nathan in my school and he was a real dickhead. And some people, not me, but some people once made him. I don't know physically how this would have worked. But you listen to this and you tell me. Okay. I remember they made him have sex with a tree.

Basically, what they did was they pulled his pants down and made him stick his dick inside a hole in a tree. Yeah, I know what sex is. Oh, right. Okay. Right. You tried to explain it by just describing the act. Well, I didn't know if you'd had sex with a tree before. But the question is, what's the hole?

Yeah. But you're just going, a hole in the tree. It's like, well, yeah, I mean, I gathered. Yeah. Okay. Well, I mean, I guess if there's like a, I don't know, there's some. Well, I guess the thing is, it's an easy thing to say he had sex with a tree. Well, they didn't, unless he was like you with the bull in the future and is like jacking

it off to make sure that the guy's hard. I assume that they just made him put a flaccid penis inside a hole in a tree. Because that's pretty good if they're as a prank, they're like taking his pants off. They're like, ah, and then he just, by chance, he just is into that. He just gets turned on in a tree because that's pretty good if they're as a prank they're like taking his pants off they're like uh and then he just by chance he just is into that what he just gets turned on by a tree what's better is that they've done that so that they can make fun of him and go we made him have sex with the tree um was his dick hard yeah yeah of course we're not stupid yeah yeah we we i put my hand on his dick yeah really went hard for like 10, 15 minutes to make sure he was nice and ready to go.

But then check it out. Then he stuck his dick in a tree. Yeah, but you did jerk off a boy. Well, I also would argue that they're the weirder ones for having wanted him to do that in the first place. Him just doing that because he's been forced to. Well, he's just following orders. These guys who cook up the idea these twisted freaks cooking that up out of nowhere and going

this will be a lark yeah they're they're the strange ones but so how do you say you sound like a parent now explaining it to this guy to this guy nathan in my hometown where he comes home and he's in tears just he's in tears having been sexually assaulted. And the parents are like, hey, you're the lucky one. These guys, these green-eyed monsters over there, they're jealous. Yeah. And for the record, when you said you had nothing to do with it, I don't believe you.

And I don't think anyone else listening to this does either. Absolutely true. Had nothing to do with it. Did nothing like that. I was more of a psychological tormentor rather than a physical one. Interesting. Right. So you gave the tree idea to the guys that made him do it.

That would definitely be more my style. This goes all the way to the top. Exactly. More my style would be have the idea, cook it up, whisper it in someone's ear, imagine if this happened, and then these feeble-minded cretins in Meribah go off and serve me. You're getting the Beagle Boys onto it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're sending out your little henchmen to do your bidding. Yes, yes. I love it. I'm the brains of the operation. It's just you. It's just you in the lab working out new ways of bullying. Just drawing diagrams of a guy rooting a bush. Nah, it's not quite.

I'm on the right track. I can feel it. Yeah. It's like comedy. It should never be the very first thing you do. Yes. So you've got to get a couple steps away from it. Nah, it's not quite. I'm on the right track. I can feel it. It's like comedy. It should never be the very first thing you do. So you've got to get a couple steps away from it. Yes, exactly. And, you know, the bush is more like, you know, like a female vagina in a way.

In that slang. Bush. It's the slang. Yeah, exactly. So it's not good enough. That doesn't hit hard enough. A tree. Yeah.

There's nothing you can sex that up with. Yeah. It's incredibly inanimate. Yes. Yeah. Not sexy at all. Not like a sexy bush. And they're all around us. So he'll be reminded about it constantly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What he did. Yeah. It's incredibly inanimate. Yes. Yeah. Not sexy at all. Not like a sexy bush. And they're all around us, so he'll be reminded about it constantly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What he did. Yeah. And it's sort of like some sort of irony. I mean, you put your wood in wood. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So it works on a whole different level.

Quite smart in a way, really, isn't it? It's genius. Mm. Put that in your thesis. Thanks, Nathan. Thanks. You dirty tree rooter. All right.

What's next? Look at that. Pretty lucky to be second cap off the rank there and be switched around in order there. But first cap off the rank, the fuming. The absolute. Seething. Filthy. Smoke coming out of this guy's ears right now.

Thank you to Patreon subscriber. Throwing a Donald Duck style temper tantrum right now. Yeah. Just taking his hat off and throwing it on the ground and stamping on it. Stomping. Thank you to Patreon subscriber. Second cap off the rank. Should have been first.

First cap off the rank. Sam Eckert. A guy. What do you think about that, Sammy? Yeah. You'll be withdrawing your money right now, won't you? Not happy. He's got the voodoo dolls out of us, stabbing pins in them.

Yep. And look, I'll be full disclosure. He is a two-time, maybe coming on three-time Samui Podcast Festival goer. So, look, you can take it out on us when you're there, Sam. Yeah, just dunk us in the pool. Yeah. Push us in. Yeah.

If you're that, I presume you're absolutely furious with us. Sorry about that. Seeing red. Yeah. Well, you know, it's a bit more relaxed over in Samoa. You could probably get away with making us root a tree over there. Well, it's a good thing he has. Oh, rooting a palm tree.

That'd be good. Yeah. It's a good thing he... Oh, rooting a palm tree, that'd be good. Yeah. It's a good thing he has this holiday planned to calm down. What about rooting a palm tree? Because then you're putting your dick in a palm. It's sort of like masturbating anyway, isn't it? Ah, interesting. Getting your dick...

Having your dick found in someone else's palm. So getting caught doing that, you're like, in my defense, this is only one step away from masturbating. Could you do that if they found you in like a dodgy massage parlor and it's like, oh, sorry, I thought I was reading a palm tree. This is a palm. I hate doing this when I know your wife's in the house. It just really makes you, it just makes me acutely aware.

You know, it's so easy to get stuck in the rhythm when it's just you and me and go this is fun. But once you're aware that there's an outside eye observing it, you just can see it for what it really is. Apart from the fact that there are tens of thousands of people listening to this. Sure, but I know they're like-minded freaks. Yes. Sure. Sam Eckert. That's the

nicest thing I can say about anyone is that they choose not to listen to this. The ultimate compliment. Sam Eckert is from Adelaide. He is indeed. He's from Adelaide. And yeah, of course, he sees more shows in Samui every year than he does in Adelaide. Classic.

Yes. Yep. So yeah, hey, look, any support from Adelaide is gratefully accepted by us. Yep. It's not expected, is it? I mean, we sort of expect Adelaide to just, at this point, be, instead of building statues of us, we expect them to be building effigies of us. Yes. And burning them next to the big metal balls that they have in the mall there.

Well, I'm going there in less than a week and I'm looking forward to it. Are you? Yeah. Oh, you know, we've talked about this before. In fact, by the time people hear this, I will have already been there. Okay. So, you know. Yeah.

You missed out. I'm giving you guys no notice. Right. How does it feel? Yeah, right. Great. Nice. Very nice.

Thanks, Sam. Thanks, Sam. Sam Uyekert. Nice. See you over in Koh Samui. I'm sorry. Look, I feel so guilty about this, but sorry about skipping over you. First cab in the rank.

I feel bad, but it was a bit of a thrill. What about now doing fourth cab off the rank instead of third? I don't know if people get as upset as that. Yeah, okay. About that. All right. Well, let's just go to third then. Yeah.

I think... Because who knows how many we're going upset as that. Yeah, okay. About that. All right. Well, let's just go to third then. Yeah. I think. Because who knows how many we're going to be doing. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, maybe we can do seventh. Cab off the rank right now. Well, let's just do that. Okay.

Yeah. Okay. Thank you to Patreon subscriber, Jared Smith. Any thoughts? Fuck me dead. Yeah. Are there any thoughts that you can have about. Well, Jared.

What do you think of the white paint on this wall i mean jared has jared or been forever now been stained with jared from subway so fair i guess yeah yeah it's is this that is this subway j Jared in Witness Protection, but he's just gone the most basic route of an alias? Yeah. Jared Smith. What was his name? Fogle. Fogle, yeah, that is.

And it's even spelled the same way. It's J-A-R-E-D. I think we know who this guy is. Yeah. Jared Smith. All right. Well, thank you to Patience Subscriber this guy is. Yeah. Jared Smith. All right. Well, thank you to patient subscriber Jared Fogle. Yeah.

I don't particularly want to know where the money's come from. Yeah. Yep. As a famous newspaper front cover from the New York Post once said, enjoy a footlong in jail. Mm-hmm. Jared Fogle. Good shit.

Yeah. He, look. He bad. His Wikipedia page has really changed over the last couple of years. I mean, in the first line it says here, Jared Scott Fogle, also known as the Subway Guy, that's what it used to say. Lovely.

Now says, is an American former spokesman for Subway restaurants who was convicted of sexual offences against dot, dot, dot. I won't even bother hitting on the rest of the link. Yeah, no need. Yeah. How the mighty have fallen. You get paid to be a guy eating Subway for a living. The dream.

Losing weight, eating nothing but sandwiches day and night. Yeah. Eating bread and somehow losing weight. My dream. However, the next part of the story is not my dream. It's interesting too because we've been talking in the last couple of weeks about me just leaning in and embracing my reluctant childhood nickname of Meatball and that came off my love of the Meatball Sub at Subway.

Now, maybe this is some kind of repressed childhood memory that I've blocked out. Yeah. Whereas, you know, you as a child being called Subway, I think Jared Fogle would have liked to have, you know, probably been a piece of bread himself. Very nice. And gotten someone else in. Very nice. The palm tree.

Yeah, Jared, well, thank you for... Thanks, Jared. Thanks for giving us money. I mean, look, we know how you earned it, but we're not too high and mighty to not accept it. But maybe it's not earned it. Maybe it's actually good that he subscribes because if he wasn't spending money on this,

God knows what he'd be using that money for. Well, to be fair, look, money is a strong word. I'm looking into the details here of what Jarrod Smith subscribes. It's five cigarettes a month. So, yeah, that's the sort of money they trade in jail. So that's what we're getting a month out of it. So that's two and a half cigarettes each. Yeah, neither of us smoke.

Yeah. We could handle that, though. I don't know what we'd do with it. Two darts. Yeah. Thank you, I guess. It's weird that Patreon is the middleman and just accepts cigarettes like that through the...

Let's start smoking. Through the internet like that. You and me start doing pods where we're just darting on on stage. Well, we can do it in Samui. Yeah, we can. We can do it on open air. Yeah. I'll take up smoking for that.

Will you? I'm just being 32 and starting to smoke. Can we smoke jazz cigarettes on the beach there? Maybe we could do that. Yeah. No one's ever been in trouble in Thailand for doing stuff like that before? No. Pretty safe. Pretty harmless. Bit of fun. Yeah. Alright. Well, let's lock that in. What about we make Sam Eckert

smoke marijuana on stage? Pull a bong with us on stage. Yeah. Make him do it. That'd be good. That'd be pretty cool. Yeah. Alright. Thanks, Jared. cool. Yeah. All right. Thanks, Jared. Thanks, Jared.

And while you're in there, I hope you have a good think about what you've done. All right? Yeah, in time out. Yeah. In the naughty corner. Yeah, exactly. I mean, it's not cool. It's not good.

Let's put it on the record. Yeah. What you did. It's not just the cops that think that. Yeah. It's us, the people as well. Yeah. We're your normal sample serving of people.

And we are not on board with what you do. We're the man on the street. Yeah. This is a Vox Pop right now. We are John Citizen, right? What we think. If we were voting today, if there was a plebiscite as to what you were doing, we would definitely say, no, not good.

Going to the polls. Yeah. And it's just, it's not to pass a law or anything. It's just, do you think this is cool? Yeah. Not cool. Absolutely not cool. Yeah, yeah.

So I hope you've been in jail for a few years now. You've had time to ruminate. I hope you've thought, you know what? I'm going to change the way I think. Yep. I'm going to get out there. Time for a rebrand. Yeah.

And I'm going to think before I rush blood to my penis from now on. I'm going to have a good hard think about how I allocate the blood in my body from now on. And I'm going to keep the blood in my head rather than shoot it downwards into my groin whenever I see any particularly sexy children from now on. Next name, please. Alright, thank you to

Patreon subscriber Annalise McDonald. I thought it was going to be who was that girl that was on Fat Pizza? Yes, she died. Did she? About a couple weeks ago. What? Really? Yes. She died. Did she? About a couple of weeks ago. What? Yeah.

Really? Yes. Look it up. Damn. All right. Annalise Bracken. Yeah, Bracken. Bracken Sick or Bracken something like that.

Yeah, she died. She died. I think she was having some problems. She had some long-standing mental issue problems, which quite fairly at the time people were saying, hey, look, you'd never know who's having problems off the you know you'd never look at her from the outside and going you know think think twice about that side of things but apparently she had a bit of a tough life so damn yeah i completely missed that veil annalise um but hey let's celebrate the living as well especially the living who are giving us money.

That's very true. Yeah. Annalise McDonald. Thank you very much for those dollars. Thanks, backer. Annalise, nice name. God closes a door and he opens a window, doesn't he? Opens a bank account and gives us access to it.

Annalise, good name. Good name. Nothing but attractive people come to mine because there's the aforementioned. Annalise I good name good name nothing but attractive people come to mine because there's the aforementioned

Annalise rest in peace yes Annalise I wish we had the respect enough to know what her last name is

how it's pronounced yeah let me yeah Brackensiek Brackensiek yeah and of course there's the

the only other Annalise I know is the character called Annalise on Neighbours. Oh, okay. Yeah, do you remember that? No. That was played by... Who was it played by? He's on Google, folks.

Yes, I'm on Google. He's trying to make it sound like he's just... The brain is firing up and he's recalling it. Just rubbing my chin thinking, gee-hoo. Annalise Hartman. Okay. That was the character's name. That was the character's name.

Right. And it was played by Kimberley Davies. Ah, okay. Remember Kimberley Davies? I sure do. You do? Yep. She was, I would say, the most attractive or, I was going to say the most attractive

character on Neigh on neighbors or actress that's ever been on neighbors interesting but i don't know that's a hard one what do you think who's the most attractive person that's been on have you ever had a crush on someone on neighbors i've never really watched enough neighbors to um to be able to formulate an opinion to be honest really um i guess you're a bit younger than me. That was a show that was on every night. It was on both channels, I think, in Maribor. You just have to watch it.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, no, I was always tuning out around then. I think I would have dinner around then. What time was it on? Six or something? Six thirty or something. I used to love it when it was like, you'd have a bit of Brady Bunch,

then you'd have The Simpsons. Sometimes you'd have like a bit of Brady Bunch, then you'd have like The Simpsons. Sometimes you'd have Seinfeld in the mix. But no, I never cared about your Home and Away and your Neighbours. Right. Well, I would say Kimberly Davies, extremely attractive in terms of – but almost too attractive where you go, she's unattainable. She's just like this – Right.

Just absolute supermodel-like figure, like the perfectly attractive young lady. But then again, there was Madeline West, who I had a huge crush on as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember her. Yeah. She did stand-up comedy. Yeah.

I've often thought, maybe we should get her on the show, but I think it's too weird for me to get her on the show when I've had such a crush on her. I know you'll be against it, because I'll be too weird and creepy about it. I'll bring it up and you'll go, why are you saying that? No, I love that. That makes for a good listen.

I know, but I think in person, your skin will crawl. Oh, I'd hate being in the room at the time. Yes. But then listening back to it, I'd be like, oh, this is good shit. Because I want to formulate what I'm going to say properly. So she'll get on the show and I'll go, oh, I've always thought you were real hot. You'll be like the wolf in those Tex Avery cartoons. Yes.

Eyes bugging out of your head. Just litres of liquid dripping from my tongue. Oh, thank God. What a last minute save that one was. Well, I never saw a wolf, wolf Avery figure. Woo! Well, I never saw a Wolf Avery figure. Oh, he, I mean, that Wolf definitely, if he's doing that, if that's what he's doing in public, think about what he's like in private. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, my God. Yeah, well, he never did that on the cartoon, though. No, but that's, I mean, we can assume in the margins. Like, he's seeing a hot girl come into a restaurant, eyes popping out of his head, tongue unravelling. He's's in a restaurant people can see him and he's not caring about this vulgar display yeah so if that's what he's happy to do in public because when he's behind closed doors imagine he's beating off ratio exactly like if you're thinking that if you're seeing that and your eyes are coming out of the head like that yeah because in real life your eyes don't come

out of your head like that at all nothing really happens but in real life, your eyes don't come out of your head like that at all. Nothing really happens. But in real life, what really does happen is blood rushes to your penis and literally like a physical manifestation happens. So if your eyes are coming out of your head in the cartoon, in the cartoon world, your dick must be like just flying off its body or something. Right. I thought you meant that your theory was Tex Avery, he's sitting at the old drawing board. He's like, that's an interesting character trait.

And then something makes him horny and his dick starts getting hard and he's like, hey, this is really popping out of my body. This gives me an idea for this cartoon wolf that I'm drawing. Right, right. I think I've told this on the show, but my old housemate, he swore to me once that he had seen someone off in the distance and he was trying to focus in on them and he was wearing his glasses. And he goes, I was straining really, really, really hard to zoom in and see further. And then I took off my glasses and I swear there was a smudge on them where my eyeballs had popped out of my head.

Great. Fucking idiot. Great. Thanks, Annalise. Thanks, Annal Great. Fucking idiot. Great. Thanks, Annalise. Thanks, Annalise. Oh, fond memories. She moved to LA. I remember that.

I remember she married a dentist or something like that, but he was like, this guy was like a model. A model dentist. Yeah, model slash dentist. Right. But then, yeah,

it was weird. It was in the news. I remember. I definitely remember because I remember that the husband cheated on her. And I just remember going, wow. um but then yeah it was it was weird it was in the news i remember i definitely remember because i remember that the husband cheated on her and i just remember going wow that's that that just goes yeah it's just crazy because it's like she's just like the the pin-up girl of everyone in that era and then he's somehow gone not enough enough. Crazy. Yeah. Wild.

It is wild. What do you think? The human experience, what a wild ride it is. Every day I think to myself, God, what a gift, you know? Yeah. What a strange old world. And you have to laugh, as I often say. Yeah.

Is that the name of your comedy festival show this year? You have to laugh. You have to laugh. You have to laugh. Oh, sorry, Laugh. You Have to Laugh. Oh, that's... Sorry, that's the... That's just the instruction as you go in. If I do a show next year, I'm definitely calling it Meatball.

Really? I reckon. Tommy Daslow is Meatball or Tommy Daslow in Meatball? Is Meatball. Is Meatball. Yeah. Okay. In Meatball sounds a bit more like the Jared Fogel story.

Right. Yep. Fair enough. All right. I can hear your child. Yeah. Crying out for Dada. And also, I feel like we've gone more gross and vulgar this episode of Talking Dumb Dumb

than ever before. And I'm very conscious that in the next room is, yeah, like the future of, the thing that's going to... Inherit all these Patreon dollars. Yes, exactly. Yeah. The thing that's going to be around when I'm long gone. Yeah.

The upholder of the Chandler name. Yeah, your wife and kid in the next room and you're just here talking about babes from the 90s. Seems cool. I'd be doing that anyway with them. So, yeah. Moist and neat. Kids, get around.

I'm always saying to them, who did you think was hot in Home and Away? Yeah. And, yeah, they didn't. They keep bringing up, like, males and stuff like that. I'm like, boring. Yeah. That's not who I thought.

Yeah, cool. Yeah. Yuck. All right. Well, we better wrap it up. That's not who I thought. Yeah, cool. Yeah. Yuck. All right. Well, we better wrap it up. Let's just do one more. You think? Yeah.

Let's do the, what is this? The sixth cab off the rank? Seventh cab off the rank? I don't really count. Okay. Yeah. Just one final one? What's the point?

Yeah. What are you doing? What? Nothing. Okay. Well, I think, yeah, I think we should, I mean, we've got a lot to do today. We've got a big day. We've got to get ready for the Brisbane pod that we're about to go do.

Okay. Yeah. So, one final name or a couple more? Up to you. I'm just thinking about you because you've got your kid to look after and everything. Okay. Yeah, sure. Well, I'm more thinking of people that give us money and stuff every week.

Okay. Well, we can do a few more. We can do five more. Okay. We'll go with what you say. We'll do one more. You know, I just want everyone – I want it on the record that I was going to read out heaps more. Oh, okay.

And give people really the value for money, all the people that give us money over the years. I'm just trying to be respectful of your time because you've got a lot on at the moment. But yeah, if you want to do another 10, 20 more, let's do it. No, I'll go with your gut feeling. Look, you're right. You're right. Let's get out of here.

All right. Well, I'm happy to do more if you want. And my baby is crying. But look, it's not crying by itself. My wife is in there looking after. So, it's fine. Also, it's her fault.

Yeah. Okay. All right. Let's do one more. Thank you to Patreon subscriber. Okay. Thank you to

Patreon subscriber Jared from Subway Comedy. Right. Right. So, he's from the shop called Subway Comedy. Right. Right. So he's from the shop called Subway Comedy? Yeah. Yeah, look, you might be right there.

Tell you what, the comedy cookies in there are delicious when you get them fresh out of the oven. Do you – yeah, I love a good footlong of comedy. Yeah, me too. You know, some people say, you know, you go to see one of our shows and it would be an hour of comedy yeah like me too you know some people say you know you go to see one of our shows and it would be an hour of comedy this is i love a i love a footlong of comedy if it's at night then footlong comedy if it's lunch you know i'm trying to eat a bit lighter during the days i'll just go a six inch year of comedy really yeah is that i would rather go the other way eat more

during the day you've got more time to process it. Yeah, I know. But that's just how I am. Really? Yeah. I don't like – because then you get too tired. If I have a big lunch, then I'm a bit – I've never subscribed to that feeling. Well, okay.

I've never thought – Lucky you. I've never eaten so much that it's made me tired. Cool. You've never subscribed to childhood cancer either. Must be nice. Is there a link? Lucky you.

Is there a link? Getting you. Is there a link? Getting tired when you eat and having cancer as a kid. Yeah. Eating too much for lunch and then you got cancer. Is that what happened? Maybe. Hmm. Jeez.

Skip the dessert, guys, if you don't like the sound of leukemia, guys. I know you're trying to get the most out of your all-you-can-eat pizza hut, but just lay off the dessert bar. Yeah. Just, yeah. Stop at the pizza. Don't eat any of the asbestos But just lay off the dessert bar. Yeah. Just, yeah, stop at the pizza. Don't eat any of the asbestos in the roof of the Pizza Hut. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. Well, thanks, Jared. Yeah. Thanks, Jared from Subway Comedy. Mm-hmm. Mm, Subway Comedy. Mm. Laugh fresh. All right, let's finish.

I'm feeling a bit delirious Yeah let's go home I'm wiped I need food Yeah me too Let's go and get A footlong Of sperm

Alright guys Thanks for listening LittleDumbDumbClub.com For tickets to all the shows Coming up Looking forward to meeting you guys Out in the big wide world And we'll see you next time

See you mates