The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 460 - Live! Lawrence Mooney, Cam Knight & Sonia Di Iorio

Episode Date: July 31, 2019

Sydney, you've done it again. We sold out the massive Giant Dwarf Theatre for a second year running, with guests LAWRENCE MOONEY, CAM KNIGHT and SONIA DI IORIO. The Moonman is in rare form as we hear about his spirals the last time he hosted breakfast radio and so much more. Cam Knight talks us through the steps of AA and we address a long standing show business rumour, and Sonia steps in at the last minute. PLUS Karl's baby travelled to Sydney for some reason. PERTH! We're coming back with our yearly massive show. October 13, 4pm.HOBART! We're heading down for the first time for a live show in a small venue. November 23, 5pm.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on The Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode recorded live in Sydney with special guests Lawrence Mooney, Cam Knight and Sonia D'Orio. Great episode this one. If you like what you hear and you want to come see us live, we are going to be in Perth, October the 13th. That is all sold out though. Maybe some tickets released on the door closer to the date. Keep your eyes on the socials for if we announce that. tickets released on the door closer to the date. Keep your eyes on the socials for if we announce that. Also Hobart, our first time down there, November the 23rd. A few tickets left to that, but it will be sold out very, very quickly. That is all we have to say up the top.

Let's get into this absolute blinder of a live episode, live in Sydney, Lawrence Mooney, Cam Knight, Sonia Di Iorio. Hey, mate. Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo. With me as always, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. Sorry, let me take that again. With me as always, the other half of the program,

Terry Two Drinks. For people at home, everyone was just very happy to see me then and that's why they made all of that noise. Very nice of them. Fuck, I just dropped a beer. Man, that is... And I dropped it all over where the next guest has to sit. It's a real shame for them.

Wow, who do you think it's going to be? Well, given our struggles for guests tonight, that could be left blank. It could be no inconvenience to anyone at the moment. Yeah. No. It will be... We'll be fine.

Yeah, yeah. No, that's... Yeah. For people at home, Carly's fixing the problem. Yeah. By just splashing the entire front row. Oh, now he's been giving a used cum rag

with which to mop it up. Well, a bit of tech support. Thanks very much. We normally save this for a bit later in the podcast, but are there any other wet seats in the house at this juncture? Mine is sopping. I'm having a fucking great time so far.

Woo! Great. Great! Great. Great. Okay. And now you're just going to sit on the rag, okay? Yeah, yeah. Interesting. Well, there are people who would fucking beg to suck on that tea towel right now.

Yeah. And they're now going to use that tea towel again to clean glasses at this venue in the future. So if you're listening to this a year on, you know, and you were at Giant Dwarf last week, maybe you had a glass that had been wiped down with the anus crack juice of one Carl Chandler. Enjoy. Hey, we're here at the Giant Dwarf. We were here this time roughly last year. Who was there last year?

Who was at the show last year? Congratulations. We were informed tonight that you guys hold the house record of consuming drinks. So that is literally the record night here in terms of units shifted. I realised that last year when we walked, when we walked out, the manager was sweeping up beer cans and they were going up past his shins. So as we

walked in today, he goes, oh, you guys have got the house record, without missing a beat, have you brought Milan tonight? So, I don't think we're going to beat the record without him, unfortunately. This venue is holding some kind of fundraiser at the moment, and I think it might just be to repair the damage that you freaks did last year for fucking trying to put your heads through the wall at the end of the night or some shit.

Speaking of raising funds, a lot of you will know that tomorrow I am running the Run Melbourne fundraising sort of run. I'm doing 10K tomorrow. Lovely. Now, I've been doing fundraising, and a lot of you guys have been chucking in. It's been awesome. And so we're up to, like, past $3,000 at the moment.

Well done, everyone. When you put in a donation, there's also, like, a chance to put a message or whatever. So, like, the run is tomorrow. So if you want to right now during the podcast, if you want to donate, you go to our website. It's on the front page of the website. If you want to right now during the podcast if you want to donate you go to our website it's on the front page of the website

if you want to donate during the website during the show and put a message I'll treat this fucker like a telethon alright if you chuck in

and you get to write a funny message do that put money in put the funny message and I'll read it out on the show alright so during the show

if you get bored fuck plenty of people just going to use this as a licence to watch Iron Man on their phone in the middle of the pod. Well, it's like, if they're going to ring me, you might as well fucking put money in or something. There's already been like five people ring me tonight, which is much appreciated.

That's pretty low, generally, by your standards. Up your game, guys. Yeah. Don't, because I can't put it on airplane mode because I want to check the fucking emails that come through. So there's just going to be people ringing me. So fucking don't do that. Anyway. Behave, guys.

What else? Up top, as we were coming in tonight, someone came up and said, by the way, I work in Channel 10 TV programming. We want to get funny fellas up. So... You heard it here first. And then I said, suck my dick, and I said, that's a sketch.

So this is technically a meeting for us. We can write this off. Yeah. Is there anything we could pitch? Yeah, off the top of that. Just, tea towel man. There we go. He's done it again.

That's one. From the mind that bought you the ejaculating bush and Dr. Bitch comes Tea Towel Man. Also, great to be here. And we were here before and we were noticing everyone coming in and a friend of the show, Nick Capper, was loitering around

looking for scraps, anything drinking out of ashtrays and he's looking at all the people coming through and he's a lovely man, Nick Capper, we all love him but he's looking at everyone coming through and he's talking to people and he said to me, man, it's fucking crazy it's like, there's all these interstates, there's heaps of people here

from Sydney I literally had to say It's like, there's all these interstates. There's heaps of people here from Sydney. I literally had to say, we're in Sydney now. He's like, oh, yeah, right, right, right. I'm in Melbourne, you stupid prick. Is this theatre haunted? Yeah. Do ghosts stink?

It certainly smells like something's died in here. How many people have listened to the most recent episode? A big little dum-dum club congratulations to Bindi Irwin on her birthday and engagement that happened on the day that we put up an episode where Fiona or Lachlan Slags are off, so what do you get? The gal who has everything. We also are doing this, we've had a bit of trouble

booking guests for this show. We're about to get into the at least the guest. That guy laughing at him not getting much value tonight. So look, we're sort of waiting on people to turn up and all that sort of stuff. Let's just see if one person that is booked in to come here and doesn't turn up. Let's just say we're going to be a bit angry. But there are,

there's another, everything's not rigged. There are some TV shows that are being filmed right at the moment that are running late. So, anyway, look, we're, it's going to be interesting. Yep. Would we, would he like to be on this show? No, thank you. Do you know if one of our guests is going to turn up?

I opened a packet of our third guest and it was dead. My name's Dave Hughes. Oh, yeah. Fuck, how did I forget that one? That's one of his best catchphrases. He's right. I think so. Yeah.

I don't think that's someone else's. Yeah, right. Yes, Tommy. You told me you had something up top of the show. Oh, yeah. We've got to get into an update. We've been banging on for a little while about this idea of Juggernaut, Patreon subscriber Juggernaut the Bull,

who donated money received from the sale of his semen into our Patreon account. I then said that I would go to Western Australia, where this bull lives, and I would jack him off, to use the medical term, to sing for my supper. Do the right thing by a subscriber, yes. Do the right thing, yeah. So we were planning to do that.

We booked in the show in Perth. The idea was that we would then, that same weekend, the day before, we would go to this farm. I would do what needs to be done. I would use these beautiful, beautiful hands to do what they do best. You weren't tempted to ship the bull into your masturbatorium? Just so you're sort of surrounded by home comforts as you're doing your thing?

Yeah, I am going to be the most stressed one in this equation, aren't I? Yeah, I'm the one that's really going to... My hands just freak out. They're like, I can't do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They see Juggernaut's member and they're like, this is like one-eighth the size of what we're used to. So... Just going to use two fingers for this one.

two. I'm just going to use two fingers for this one. So we get that all, we get the Perth show booked in. The date's sorted on sale. The date's sorted on sale. I then get in touch

right after we'd locked it in, I get in touch with the young man who is Juggernaut's handler, so to speak. The man who got in touch. Well, I mean, I'm going to be the handler. So we book the show in, then you get in touch. Probably the wrong order, but yeah, go on. I hit him up. I'm like, hey man, we just locked it

in. We're all good. You know, let's work out the logistics. And he goes, Juggernaut's not there. Juggernaut hasn't been there for ages. Juggernaut's moved to another farm because he got a job. Now, you're going to need to explain this to me, Carl. I don't understand these words in this order that this young man used to me.

His mum was giving him grass at a different house. Right. So Juggernaut has moved to a different farm. Still in WA? Still in WA. He will be returning to the original farm, but not until December or January. So anyway, he'll be back.

But in the interim, it's like, well, we're going on this trip. This was meant to be the whole thing. We do the pod. We talk about this. And now there's this huge ball up in the air, pardon the pun, where it's like, well, I don't want to not fulfil my obligation.

Yeah, what's the point of going to Perth if you're not going to jack off a farmyard animal? Yeah. And I'm saying to this guy, well, what farm is he on now? Could we just go there? And he goes, oh, he's at this other farm, but the farm that he's got the job on,

it's my parents' place, and I don't know how they'd respond to some stranger turning up and just jacking off a bull in their backyard. So what location was he in before where they were happy with that happening? Well, a professional masturbatorium. So, what

I've been, like, I, this is what I'm going to do. I mark my words, by the time we do the Perth show, I will have jacked off some form of livestock. Okay? What we need to do now, juggernauts old news, okay? I want to find a new bull

or, you know, whatever's going. I'll go into a farm, I will get that seed, I will donate the proceeds of that seed back into our Patreon. So then we have a new animal supporting the show. So your theory is you're going to jack off a bull that someone else owns and then donate that back to us. You know you've just described stealing sperm, right?

Yeah, the great sperm heist. You're going to get me-too'd by livestock. So I have been emailing some farms, like I've been Googling, trying to work out, I will travel for this. I am a man of my word. I keep my promises. But this is not like...

Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead. Find a floor in this plan if you possibly can. So you're emailing people and going, right, can I please come in and jack off your bull? Wait, it's not weird. It's so I can then take the sperm. Well, let me read out the letter that I've been sending to farms.

Okay. And you tell me, genius, if you can find any flaws in it. Okay. To whom it may concern. Hi there. My name is Tommy Dasolo. I'm a comedian, podcaster,

and special needs carer to a 43-year-old man. Oh, that's a coincidence. That's a different guy. Right. I'm contacting you because I recently made plans to travel to a farm

and relieve a bull named Juggernaut. However, I've since discovered that Juggernaut has moved states and gone into hiding, which is a fairly common threat amongst all my previous or potential sexual partners.

I'm now in the position of needing to find a backup animal to masturbate for the purposes of content on a podcast. If there is any chance of being able to come, ha-ha, get it, to your farm, and fulfil this obligation, I would greatly appreciate it. I promise that I will not only show respect to you and your organisation, but that your chosen livestock will absolutely have the time of its life. I guarantee when I'm done that there will be sperm everywhere. As evidence of my skills in this field, I've attached a photo of my right hand

which has clocked up its fair share of miles over the years. If you could assist me in this matter, I would be over the moon. One potential snag is that Juggernaut is a real world-class bull, so I'd be looking for an animal of similar quality. No offence, but I've had a look through your website and you've got some real sixes and sevens getting around in that paddock, which just won't work for me. Sure, I'm emailing

a stranger asking if I can jack off their pet, but I'm not a freak. Thanks in advance, and please don't send this to the police. Yours sincerely, Sperm Comedy. Is there some sort of Tinder for farm animals? Sure, one of these people would know if there was.

So, look, in the meantime, if this does... I really want this to come through, but in the meantime, I would hate for people to think that I have, like, just dodged my obligation here, that I'm just trying to take the easy way out. So you were talking before, you are doing the Run Melbourne tomorrow, the 10km in Newcastle. In Newcastle, yeah.

I've mentioned... Hang on, I'll check the telethon update. Oh yeah, where are we at? I'll check the telethon update. Let's see, I've just had missed calls from idiots in this crowd. No donations yet. This is a great telethon where the guy's going,

stop trying to call me! No, hang on, hang on, hang on. I've got four. You keep going and I'll clock these and run through the quality control. Okay. So I am up here again in a few weeks doing the City to Surf. I'm going to run that. It is 14 kilometres. As penance for my fucking up and not being able to masturbate juggernaut when I said I would. I will be running the 14 kilometres of the city to surf in a

shirt of my choosing, which we will see here on the screen. I'm going to be running through... I'm going to be running 14 kilometres through Sydney wearing that shirt. And what is that? For people at home? For people at home, it's an illustration of me jacking off juggernaut.

This is my punishment. This will take me through some of Sydney's wealthiest suburbs. And just if you want to visualise what it will actually look like in the context of the race, here's what I imagine myself looking like at the finish line. So... Just a man shitting his pants. Wearing a shirt with a picture of himself jacking off a bull.

That's clearly photoshopped. You've cleaned yourself up there. I'm looking pretty... I'd fuck myself in that photo, I reckon. Thank you to donations from anonymous. $11.17. Someone said Tommy's new nickname will be the Jackanaut. I thought you said you were doing quality control.

That's the best one. No, Loza Bennett just donated $109 and said, do duck sandwich, cunt. All right, all right. We'll get back to this. We'll get back to it. Oh, that was the best of the bunch? Well, it's only five minutes. All right, all right. We'll get back to this. We'll get back to it. Yep. Oh, that was the best of the bunch?

Well, it's only five minutes. What's the tally now? Do you know where you're at money-wise? Yeah, it's really great. It's over three and a half grand. Over three and a half? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And your target was three and a half or three? Yes, yes, it was three and a half.

Oh, he's done it. He's done it. But we want more content, so keep going. All right. Let's get a guest on. Alright, folks, please welcome back into the Little Dum Dum Club, Lawrence Mooney!

Thank you, everyone. You're very patient people. So patient. As I was getting all these messages, one of the messages was from Lawrence Mooney saying, get me on, cunt. Well, Carl said, you'll be on around 9.30, so... For people at home, it's now 9.35, sorry. So still a pretty tight machine you're driving here, guys.

How are your shambolic lives going? Now, let me ask you this, Tommy, in all seriousness, because I went to drama school, so I've experimented with my sexuality. you this, Tommy, in all seriousness, because I went to drama school. So I've experimented with my sexuality. I've scratched some itches that needed scratching and fucking

I got plowed in the ass. And it's good. No, it's pretty good. The reach around. Yes, whatever's pretty good. The reach around. Yes, whatever the question is, yes. You orgasm like you've never orgasmed

before. Because you know, your prostate's being worked by a massive cock. But I mean, I'm totes hetero, so what I want to ask you is, have you ever jacked off a man because you think it's easy yeah there's a lot of women out there thinking fucking just don't roll up to a farm and wank off a bull and you've never done it before because you're doing yourself and there's all

sorts of shit going on in your head and you're satisfying yourself with whatever sick Bosnian rape porn you're fucking watching. Don't just get up here and do the same gear you do on breakfast radio. Jacking off a bloke. It's fucking busy, okay? Bosnian rape videos, is that the secret sound this morning? You got it. You got two tickets to zambrero

and a moon man in the morning t-shirt um because it's just not wanking okay you've got to be working the balls you've got to get up around the head but not work it too much you've even got to give that ball a bit of arsehole work too, man. Wow. If you can get around there. And also, don't get killed. Yeah. Because it could kick you to death.

It's like, this guy's never jacked off a bull before. Fuck you. And just cave your rotten fucking skull in. So it started with you saying, have I ever jacked off a man, and then pivoted into very specific inner workings of what it's like to jack off a bull. Have you ever jacked off a bull?

I've never jacked off a bull, but I'd have a crack, because I've jacked off other blokes. And I'm pretty good at it too. I work the balls and I speak some abject filth too. Oh, fuck, what did he just say? What about the kicking thing? Did that come from personal experience?

Well, you've got to look out for the foot, just the nervous. Which all the women in the room know about. They get out of the way. Now, you, cunt... You've gone dark, haven't you? Me? Yeah, overdosing with pills, people in coffins, murder-suicide. What has happened? You've become a father and you've realised how shit it is to have children. Yeah, overdosing with pills, people in coffins, murder-suicide.

What has happened? You've become a father and you've realised how shit it is to have children and you're actually contemplating your own suicide daily, which you do. It's like, oh, fuck, what did I do? For people at home, I was doing stand-up before the podcast and that was the content of someone's show. You call it stand-up. It was more of a town hall meeting. Where people were like,

oh, we would rather vote for Clive Palmer than you. It makes this look civilised. Give us Pauline Hanson. Say something. G'day, folks. I haven't been on the podcast for a while. I reckon this is about number 12 for me. Is that all?

I've done five with Fiona, me old mate. Your old mate? I've wiped her like a dirty arse. We do. No, seriously. Alcoholics and drug addicts can only let you down so many times before you say, just fuck off, mate. We do get a lot of questions about why we haven't had

the pairing of you two again. It's, yeah. Well, I took it to... I organised a gig for Deakin University down in Geelong and she rolled up fucking blind. And it was for young leadership and she was just poleaxed and i've often found it quite funny and excess is you know a source of comedy and can be great stories but these were people who were actually concerned about society and education and they

were there for a laugh they'd put on a beautiful evening and she was fucked up. So a few people came to me and said, what should we do? And I said, she's not your responsibility. You don't do anything. They said, we don't want her to hurt herself. I said, don't worry. She'll bounce back.

She'll be fine. So she could sleep rough and don't worry about it. But they were really concerned. Anyway, I said, the best thing you can do is show her back to her room and uh just forget about it anyway she the fucking alco that she is she drank the room dry and then she rings the bar and she says uh and it was just around the time that same-sex marriage, the plebiscite had been voted yes, and she goes, I'm proposing to my girlfriend, can you send up your most expensive bottle of champagne?

And they complied, they sent it up, and, you know, nice people doing nice things. She drank that, then she ordered some other drinks and then she started smashing up the room and then uh the next day she here up the back right if she was shut up cunt um anyway so they said we can't get around i said, I don't know what you want me to do. This is the next day.

And then her daughter, who's her manager and enabler. A lot of people going, go back to tell us about beating off the bull, please. Please wank off a bull again. She rolled up and got her out of there and i just thought enough's enough because uh you know addicts and alcoholics are liars i should know tommy i'm one of them yeah i i think that's very big of you to see someone with like a desperate problem that can affect her life and others and you've gone you what, I'm going to take a stand. I'm not going to podcast with you anymore. That's right.

I am think globally, act locally. I've sent the message to addicts everywhere. No podcasts. So you now live in Sydney. you're doing Breakfast Radio in Sydney, you've been in Melbourne forever. Now you're living, living. You've moved here, you've been here for a couple of months, which I thought was an interesting... One of the things you don't do when you're living in Sydney

is tell people from Melbourne how fucking awesome this place is. Because it shits on Melbourne. I spent 54 years defending that fucking grey swamp and that fucking unsexy feminist fucking stronghold. It's fucking hell. People up here actually like, they want to enjoy themselves. It's like a fucking gulag down there. I fucking hate it, OK?

Because, you know, where you're born and where you're raised, you just inevitably spend, you know, time defending it or singing its praises. But after 54 years, fuck you. You shitty fucking trams. They think they invented coffee. Do you know what? There's coffee in Sydney.

And it's good. And there's also restaurants. And clothes shops. I thought it was an interesting move for Lawrence Mooney to move to a city with more cocaine. Well, I can tell you one thing, it's got less now.

I'm keeping the streets safe for the kids out there. That's what I do. I find it and I dispose of it under supervision up me face. But it must be weird for you to live in a place where everyone is affected by lockout laws and not just you personally.

That is the one thing that has fucked this city properly. The lockout laws are just absurd. And eventually they'll loosen and disappear, but it really did fuck a great city with a great nightlife, and Melbourne has got an amazing nightlife. But I'm affected by the lock-in laws now. When my wife goes, go to fucking bed, mate, okay?

Don't open another bottle of pinot, fuckhead. Well, so we've talked about this on the show before, but the last time that you were doing regular breakfast radio was in Melbourne years ago. Mix 101.1, more music that makes you feel like you're in a shop. Or a taxi. Here's Dido. I don't know what happened in those years.

It was the era of big-time Mooney Spiral, right? It was the era of Blonde Tip. My first marriage had broken up and people... I know the thought bubble is like, oh, fucking surprise, surprise. Shut up. They use the word cheating. It's like, I never saw the rules. No one ever showed me the rules.

How has he still got the room after saying all this stuff? How can you cheat when there's... I wasn't shown the rules. Monogamy isn't a tacit agreement. You've got to make it clear. I mean, sure there's those proposals and those vows and whatever,

but what does that mean? You know, boring. So, yeah, I was a little bit loose. And then, yeah, that then became the blonde years. I dyed my hair blonde and wow. You have such a great fucking time with other mentally disturbed people because real bottle blonde people see you and they're just attracted to you magnetically and I'd never been...

If you're between marriages and a bit lonely, dye your hair blonde, okay? I'd never been a pick up at the bar kind of a guy. I'm pick-up over, you know, a bit of a period of time. I get people to trust me and then that sounds like... Oh, no. Oh, no. Sounds like a grooming process, doesn't it? And I guess that's what it is. But when I was blonde, it was like,

hey, do you want to get out of here? It's like, yep. Okay. You're mental, aren't you? And it was awesome. But it can only go for so long. So how does this breakfast radio experience compare to that breakfast radio experience? It's very, very different.

Well, I just celebrated my 10th anniversary with my wife, Lou. You did? And you celebrated it by renewing your vows? Yeah, we went to Italy and we decided to renew our vows and we just sent kind of blanket invitations to our friends. Yeah, Shigsy came along. Marty Sheargold was my best man. Just checking the emails.

Yeah. Friends, yeah. Well, there was only really one comedian there, so you could have come along. No, anyway, it was pretty overwhelming that over 60 people said, yeah, we'll come along. So it was just a massive party and very romantic and pretty dreamy.

And recovering from jet lag when you're in your mid-50s and return and just have a massive bender for two days, because my wife was still overseas, so Deeksy picked me up from the airport. And I was at his place for 48 hours. He's my personal trainer. Have I just incriminated Deeksy? You might need to beep that out.

Yeah. Anyway, in answering my question... I thought you were talking about John Deeks. Yeah, that's what I was talking about from Channel 7. Right, right. Come on down. Have you ever jacked off another bloke? I have not, no.

Well, no time like the present, Tommy. Yeah, exactly. Let's introduce our next guest to the stage. Please welcome to the stage, Cameron Knight. Yeah! Is it okay to sit here? Yes, it's all right. Up to you, brother.

Back in my drinking days, I would have just licked it up. I haven't jacked off a man. You haven't? No. I think we need to specify that with every guest, don't you think? Yeah. Have you jacked a bull off for a man? Back in your drinking days, you were great company, and now...

Now I'm just fucking boring. Back in my drinking days, I would have jacked you off. Yeah. I know. This is going well, isn't it? Could I get a beer? Is that too much to ask? I am as dry as

Western New South Wales. That's good stuff. Water. So you don't drink anymore, Cam? No, I wouldn't mind. You're a bit of a... What did you do? Yeah, what did you do is what you always get.

What did you do? I quit the day after Cody's wedding. Nick Cody. Yeah. I think that's all I need to fucking say. Yeah. So nearly two and a half years ago. No incident?

No. No, there was a lot of incidents. But the final incident, I guess it wasn't a rock bottom or anything. I'm still fucking going through that. But the rock bottom, I got called up on New Year's Day that year by my wife who just said, I think it's time you put your fucking head in. And to be fair, you know, I think she was right because I'd been up all night

and I was dressed in a Christmas suit that I'd bought from a Facebook fucking viral ad. And I fell for it. And it was very good. I've still got it. It was a blue Christmas suit with white deers on it. And I had wax dribbled all down my front because I was lighting cigarettes and bongs with a candle. Oh, I'm 40 fucking three.

And my unborn child was still in my wife's belly. And I had my other child there. My two-year-old was staying in a holiday house. And I'd been up all night with another couple of guys. And we were on a tank. We were on top of a tank. We watched the sun rise on top of a tank. I'm losing track of this fucking story.

Yeah, I know. I lost track of the evening pretty quickly. I still don't know what you did wrong. I'm losing track of this fucking story. Yeah. I know. I lost track of the evening pretty quickly. I still don't know what you did wrong. I know! It was fucking great. It was a really good night. You've got a beautiful suit on celebrating the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ. And your wife's all fucking get off the gear.

You're on a tank and thank you for your service. Yeah. And she said, I think you need to stop this. She said that she... Well, the reason I stopped as well is because she said that I thought that... She thought that I had a bit of a drinking problem. And I was just like, aw. I think I'm pretty fucking good at it. But I went to the AA website just to have a look,

to see what they've got to say. And they've got a little test you can take, a little online test. And I was like, oh yeah, how hard is this? Apparently not very... I fucking smashed it. just to have a look to see what they've got to say. And they've got a little test you can take, a little online test. And I was like, oh, yeah, how hard is this? Apparently not very. I fucking smashed it. Breathe into the disk drive. I've got like an AA+. And I was like, oh, fuck.

You're like, this is shit AA. I want to put my name on this. I don't want to be anonymous. I want everyone to go to the website and go, oh, it's Cam Knight. Yeah, that's right. I was pretty chuffed. I've never had an A-plus in anything before,

so I had about 15 beers to celebrate. But then I quit, and Cody's wedding was the sort of, I just went, oh, well, that'll be the last hurrah. So how long? Nearly two and a half years. It'll be two and a half years on the 5th of August. Well done, mate. Two people applauding.

That's nice. Thank you. This side of the room, I can hear the collective thoughts of you just going... Soft cock. Yeah, yeah. Well, I went to AA for nine months. Yeah. Yeah, I got off it for nine months. Yeah.

But whenever people got up and told their stories, it's like, oh, fuck, I wish I met you before. Yeah. And I wanted to do a absolutely i wanted to do a like a one flew over the cuckoo's nest boat trip and just kidnap them all it's like i'm gonna put on all the fucking drugs and booze just for one day just to see you in your old light where you were chasing your wife, discharging a firearm down the street. You were drinking in a wardrobe full of bottles when you thought your family didn't know. And what about you, where you locked yourself away, train-spotting style, to just sweat it out and work through it, and you drank all of the perfume in the house. And your husband's aftershave.

You're a fucking champion. Alcoholics Anonymous, not with me. I'm telling you a story. For cash. I can kind of feel Cam going, maybe I didn't have a problem. I don't think I did at all. You don't think you've got a problem.

You go along and you hear other people's stories and you just go, I don't want to. I just, you know, all right. And so did you beef it up a bit? Did you? Well, yeah, no, not really. You just go, yeah, I stole a truck. I fucking killed him.

I jacked off a bull. With me gob. For no reason. Not even for charity. But yeah, a lot of them have got to be truthful. There was a moment there. Yeah, we have jacked off a bull.

A lot of them do have pretty interesting stories and stuff. You know, they've done time or they've killed somebody or whatever. And you... I love that I just went, or whatever. They've killed somebody or whatever, but you and you... Or whatever! I love that I just went, or whatever. They've killed somebody or whatever. Don't gloss over that unless you're building to a

better story than a man who killed someone. No, it's more that you sit there and listen to these things going, fuck, I've got nothing and I can't relate to anything you've just said. And I spoke to somebody about that and they just said, well, just think of this, like that person is 25 years sober and if they've

done those things then they can be sober for that long. And you've done what? You just spilled a bit of wax down your front, you fuckhead. In front of your child. I think you'll be fine. Have you gone and done the apologies and all that sort of stuff? No. Not yet. Oh, really?

Wow. Do I owe you one? What did I do? 12-step program, stop at number four, mate. Yeah, that's right. Can I say this? Because this is a question I've always wanted to ask you. Yeah.

Because I've heard stories about Cam Knight and his drinking days and all that sort of stuff. Yes. Now, you used to go out with Madeline West from Neighbours. Yeah. Who is one of my all-time crushes. This has nothing to do with drinking. And this is the only...

And that's all he wanted to say. And my question is, what's it like? It's like jacking off a ball. What are you asking? I'm getting to a point. I'ming off a ball. What are you asking? I'm getting to a point. I'm getting to a point. I'm getting to a point.

Now, there is a story that I've heard told many, many times that there was a party at her house. Sure. Do you know where this is going? I do. Yes. The story goes that, I don't know whether there was a break-up, there was something happened,

there was some sort of episode from your behalf. Episode's good. That's a good word. Thank you. Thank you. And then the fridge was... Her fridge was opened. Sure.

And there's a can of food in the fridge. Yeah. There's not food in there, is there? There's a big poo from Cameron Knight. Firstly, there wasn't a party My apology, I just I really tried to make that story interesting As Cam's lawyer I've got to say, the fridge wasn't open

My client opened the fridge Case dismissed Yeah, some of that It was a bit of a blur Case dismissed. Yeah, some of that, yeah, it was a bit of a blur. I think what had happened was that we, yeah, we... I can't even fucking remember what happened, to tell you the truth. This is just a rehearsal for when you bring it up in the meeting. Sure, yeah. I'd taken a lot of things.

So I'd been out... Like I'd taken a lot of things. So I'd been out... Like a shit? A lot of shit. I'd eaten a lot of food. And I'd also taken... I think I'd had a mixture of MDMA and ketamine. Classic. Shout out.

They finally just came out of the cave. Oh, fuck yes! In your defence, in those years in Melbourne, our pills were super strong. They were very good. Because this is the start of the underworld war, okay? Yeah. Carl Williams started making strong pills for half the price. And so that's where he got into trouble with the Moran brothers, right?

They wanted to kill him because they had a pill presser where they had the market. So all of us in the comedy world, we were fucking taking massive we were taking massive amounts of awesome pills and they were Carl's pills and valet Carl, rest in peace. What I'm saying is when you took one

you needed to take a shit. And it was just one that you did. It wasn't eight or ten. It was just one. It was just one and it lasted and it was a blur and a haze. Sounds like someone's got a bit of a soft spot for Melbourne after all. I've always had a soft spot for Melbourne. I think what happened was, yeah, I had to go and I was completely out of it

and I didn't know and I was completely out of it. And I didn't know. And I had gone in her... I had gone on the floor or something. And I think I didn't even... I don't even remember doing this but she asked me the day after, did you do this? And I'm like, well, I must have because who else fucking got in your house?

You took a revenge shit in your ex's place. And I think I was trying to hide it. I think I was trying to put it somewhere. Right. And the place where she would never look, the fridge. It was in the fridge. Yeah. Right.

Yeah. Definitely. The defence rests. Can you get out of the courtyard? Maybe that wasn't a rock bottom then, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it took about ten years after that for you to stop drinking. Yeah.

Right, right, right. Yeah, definitely. Definitely. So that's, yeah, good, good. I'm glad we sorted that out. I'm glad we sorted that out. Yeah, good. I'm glad that that's going to go out. I, right, right, right. So that's, yeah, good, good. I'm glad we sorted that out. Yeah, good. I'm glad that that's going to go out. I would just like to say

there were people in the industry that turned their back on you after that. They did. And I was not one of them. No. You came over quite a lot after that. That's right. To be fair...

Let's go round to somebody's place and take a shit. Come on, Kev. If I knew a guy that shits in fridges, I don't turn my back on them, to be fair. I want to see what they're doing. Were you appalled? Were you like, how dare you do that to my all-time crush?

I was like, man, it'd be cool to be in the same house as her, to be honest. Oh, fucking hell. If she asked me to get the shit out of the fridge, I would do it. Yeah, sure. I heard it was at a party on a coffee table. Now I'm praying that that's the same story gone wrong and not a separate incident.

I think that's just Chinese whispers. You're blurring showbiz myths. What I do in the privacy of my own home is none of your business. Don Lane used to lie under a glass of coffee table. Sorry. Sorry, mate. Wow. Sorry.

Wow, for somebody who works on Triple M, you don't know the rules. Sorry for over-talking. But when I talk on my show, everyone shuts the fuck up. Should we get a... I really... I don't know what to think. Should we... Let's get our third guest on.

By the way, saying, oh, I don't know whether the third guest's turning up, you know, we've got a couple of guests, it's like, fuck you. We've got this bloke. It wasn't you. We knew you were here, but we were just worried about...

Cam was busy tonight He was doing a job And then someone else So now we've got a replacement For our third guest Yeah Yeah Do we have an update on

I mean we may end up With too many guests Yeah well God I love comedy Yeah Or whatever this is Yeah No I don't

Comedy's about keeping The ball in the air And you guys Keep running over it Rather than Don't keeping the ball in the air and you guys keep running over it rather than don't stab the ball, keep it in the fucking air. Yeah mate, that's why this room's empty

I'm a bit more interested in what's attached to the ball to be honest, but anyway George Calambaris' head hopefully Oh George Calambaras' head, hopefully I mean, considering what's going on here I feel bad about introducing our third guest But let's do it, I guess I know, alright

Please welcome into the Little Dungeon Club Sonia Di Iorio! Yay! Yes! Hey, Son Yes. Hey, Simon. Carl said they were fucking struggling and I'm here as proof. Fucking struggling as guests. My comedy status is a famous person cancelled last minute.

Right? And we couldn't find an animal for Tommy to jack off. The next best thing. You got it? Hey, it could be worse. You could be Nick Capper backstage waiting for a comedy bit we planned but haven't done yet. And we'll hopefully run out of time for. You don't have to do it.

It's fine. Do we want to do it very super quickly? Sorry, everyone. Sorry, everyone. Nick mentioned... Sorry, everyone. Nick Capper. You mentioned before that I'm a new dad. Yeah, I am a dad. I brought little Blanket along.

She's been sitting in the backpack. But Blanket, say hello to everyone. Hello. Wah. Blanket, you're going to have to speak louder if you can. Ah, okay. I think I was loud enough, just not funny enough. Anyway, Blanket, thanks for making it.

What did you have to say to... What's news, Blanket? Not much, just chilling out. I haven't had my first steps yet, but yeah, I don't want to because otherwise I'll be forced to run on a beach in Thailand. You wrote these and they suck. This is really fucked. Look, Blanket, in the stand-up show you killed and that was all mine,

so fucking do the lines. Okay. Yeah, my name's Blanket. I said my first word a few days ago. I said, Mama. And my dad said, Shut up, don't say a name. That's an in-joke applying to the Little Dumb Dumb Club. Delivered terribly.

But yeah. All right. What about just cut to the last one then, Blanket. Oh, wow. You're getting the light, Blanket. Jesus Christ. Blanket is tired. It's delivered with all the panache of some cunt that's been sitting backstage for about an hour and a half.

You want to know my real name? It's Kappa Chandler, named after my real dad. This is what you wrote. I can't believe you wanted me to do that one. It's the worst. I'm just trying to somehow get you to get a laugh, all right? Blanket? Yeah, well, I don't...

I can't. I've got to go. Oh, yeah, go. Can someone throw me... Okay, thanks, Blanket. Can someone throw me under a car? That was the most shit ventriloquist act I've ever seen. Are you talking about me and Tommy?

Stuff her back in the bag, that's right. Tommy, are you sure you've never jerked off a dude before? Because Carl's got all this white shit on his pen. What is that? I don't know. There's like a stain there. It's definitely cum. Yeah. 100%. It's definitely cum.

Yeah. 100%. It's not 100%. 100%. I can tell. Sonia, that's what happens when you jack off in a park. You tend to come on your own shoes. Right, Carl? I don't think I've done it in a park.

Good. There's a park across the road. Yeah. Let's go. Yeah. Sonia, sorry to just talk about how you were just here to fill in for someone else who couldn't make it. But honestly, even though it was all pretty last minute, you won't even notice we've adapted to you being here.

So tell us, why are you so angry all the time? I'm not angry. That was so bad. That was a good plug for your new show, Sonia, We Have a Problem. I've jerked off heaps of dudes. It's not easy is it? That's why I was so late I was in that park across the road

Alright That was It was so bad Was that Hughsey or was that That was just me That was just me Hey thanks for doing this Thanks for being last minute You were up in Sydney You are from Melbourne Was that Hughsey or was that just... That was just me. That was just me. Hey, thanks for doing this.

Thanks for being last minute. You were up in Sydney. You are from Melbourne. Yes. It's a beautiful city of Melbourne. Oh, right. Love it. Good drugs still.

I was just blowing smoke up Sydney's arse. Nice. How's it been? You been here for a week or two? Yeah You been here for a week or two? Yeah, been here for a week or two, yes. Anything? Yeah, I met some people who I just, I wish I was more like them. I'm very shy, reserved.

I met these two women at a pub the other night. Cleveland? Is that a place? The Cleveland, yeah. Is that like good or dodgy or? Good. Good. Anyway, I met these two women and they were stealing wine glasses,

like four of them. The bartender came over because the wine glasses were all empty and he went to grab them and the woman was just like, no, we're still using them. They're like so brazen, like they're all empty. So he went away and then he came back as she was like filling her handbag with them. He's like, you can't take them. pubs oh why not why do you care what do you care he's like well what if i came to your house and took your stuff yeah what do you want i don't care you can take it it was fucked but i

wish i was i wish that was me i wish i had yeah. Hey, you can still steal stuff from here. It's fine. The night's still young. They've got plastic cups. They've got no wine glasses. Don't bother stealing them. Yeah, so I've been inspired by the Sydney locals. Right.

So that's where you take out of Sydney. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lawrence is like, no, it's got... I've been here before. I've seen the fucking opera house. Give me some free shit. Yes. And drugs. I'm looking for drugs. Oh me some free shit. Yes. And drugs.

I'm looking for drugs. Anyway. I was feeling bad about introducing you to the mix. You're on your fucking own. What? Sorry. I have been micro-dosing Dexys. I wanted to be alert.

That's cool. You've just been doing your tax. What? Dexys just... I'm very sharp. They were the drug du jour for a long time during the comedy festival because all the kids have got ADHD. They're easy to get.

They're pretty good. Keeps you awake. I mean, it's pharmaceutical speed. And if you take one and you get high, you know you haven't got ADHD. Yes. It's a good controlled experiment. You're doing it for a medical reason, not to... Absolutely, research.

It always is research, Carl. I want to share my knowledge. Right. What were you doing when you were driving in 150? K down the highway. Another classic clinical trial. Yeah, yeah. Well, it was, Tommy, and despite your cynicism,

I was heading down to the Mornington Peninsula to celebrate Easter, the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ, with my wife and family. And I thought, I've only had 15 standard drinks and a couple of joints and some Dexys and half a pill. I think I've got this. So I was actually doing 174, but they reduced it to 168. Oh, nice.

It was nice. Just under the moon. But what I was doing at the time was flicking a joint or the end of it out of the sunroof and listening to Rocket Man by Elton John. This is absolutely the opening scene

of the Moon Man movie. Yeah, yeah. Moon Man. And I wanted to look at the photo because the cops didn't pull me over saying, fuck. So it's a photo of my number plate disappearing into the distance. And I'm sure that you can actually see an ember coming out of the top of the car. And I lost my licence for 12 months and was fined $1,000

and had to do a safe driving course and the car was impounded for 30 days. And the cops came around to my house to take me down to the police station I had to find $1,000 and had to do a safe driving course and the car was impounded for 30 days. And the cops came around to my house to take me down to the police station. And when the cops knock on your door, the people that answer the door expect that the cops are going to say that somebody has died. And I wasn't at home. And of all the people that my wife knows,

I'm the most likely to die... ..to die. Through misadventure. Cos I'll probably, you know, just... If somebody goes, do you want to go to fucking Eastern Creek in the back of the ute and just pull some cones and fucking shoot up tonight and get involved in a five-way, it's like, all right.

Do you have an understanding like your wife knows you you know she knows that you're the sort of person that does fucking insane stuff so does that mean

do you have to text her at some stage to go I'm gonna be home tonight or I'm gonna be normal tonight no she sleeps pretty soundly and

she said are you gonna be home I said I'll be home straight after the show which is gonna be 5am. And that's my shit in the fridge. I'm going to go home, shit in the fridge, and say it was Cam.

Cam fucking just blurted in the crisper. I'm starting to regret this. Don't worry. I thought I'd outrun it. No one listens to this. So that's what I was doing. And plus, you know, I'm a very good driver. That's why they sent you to this school, to teach others.

Yeah. But seriously, I went to this safe driving course and it wasn't a safe driving course. It was basically 12 blokes just talking about what they fucking did. Well done, matey. So it was like AA. Yeah. It was like AA.

Is that what you take out of everything? Yeah. You're fucking legends. So it was like AA. Yeah. It was like AA. Is that what you take out of everything? Yeah. You're fucking legends. Now I'm in jail. These cunts are fucking mad. Actually, and I can jack off a dude. Time for another meeting at Yarn Central. There's a pattern emerging.

I feel so sober. Yeah. I feel like I've never been drunk in my life. All right. Shall I do an update of donations? Oh, yeah. What's this run for? So I'm running for...

to raise money for Shake It Up Australia. And what's Shake It Up Australia? Like a Taylor Swift foundation or...? It's a great milkshake restaurant in Hawthorne. Yeah. Someone just donated... Rhys Thomas just donated $7.28 to say your bag is sitting in the beer puddle.

Oh, yeah. I like... I like that the bag was the priority as well. Not your baby is sitting in the beer puddle. My baby's jammed. It's just your bag. I'm spilling out of it.

Did you buy that baby for this or did you bring it from home? Was this a practice baby before you had your actual baby? No, no, no. Do you want this baby's bot-bot in your hotel room? I don't want to tell you the things I've seen. Do you breastfeed it? You thought jacking off a bull was weird. Holy fuck.

Hang on, blanket's piping up again. Hey, blanket, does Carl stick his nipple in your mouth and feed you? All right. He makes me watch webcams of Thailand while he jacks off. I wrote that one. I'm sorry you had to see that, Blanket. Your dad wanking. Your kids told me the same thing.

They saw Carl wanking Only six more hours guys Can we move where there's more rain? Every pub in Sydney is shut now And we're still going What else? People are saying dumb things Can we move where there's more rain? Every pub in Sydney is shut now and we're still going. What else? People are saying dumb things. Someone just said,

here's a donation of $40, more content from the vet, which from the stand-up show, there was a vet before that was telling fucking insane stories about being paid money to resuscitate animals that were dead. Have you got any more? Have you got any more? You got no more. That was a good one. What was that? resuscitate animals that were dead. Have you got any more? Have you got any more? You got no more. That was a good one.

What was that? He resuscitated dead animals. Someone tried to bribe him. They brought in a rabbit that was dead, and they said, is it worth... They tried to give him 50 bucks to bring a rabbit back to life. Right.

Was it a magician? He's suffocating. Did he have a top hat on i actually um that was a bit of a trigger for me because my dog rupert was uh euthanized in november last year really yeah and um it's very you know sad and obviously there's a you know a bedside manner that the vet has and she was like are you ready and the syringe is pushed and then the dog goes to sleep and she said take as long as you want

and she was in the room with us, the consulting suite and it was pretty emotional. Weird thing was I'd come from a corporate and I was dressed as Malcolm Turnbull. That's the truth. It would have been better if you got busted for speeding,

dressed like that. So the dog's like, oh, fuck, the Prime Minister's here. But, you know, after a while, it was probably, you know after a while it was probably you know we'd spent half an hour with the dead dog and the vet just slides this

little cremation brochure across like you might want to think about you know what box you put it in it's like oh fuck after sales so we picked one and it's got a photo on top of it

so I just wonder I've held the box of ashes and I just wonder is the microchip in there and if I reported it missing would they be able to find it? That'd be cremated surely the microchip can't stand up to that heat

could it? Probably Carl. You fucking serious? Sorry for trying to help your fucking story out. It didn't need your fucking help. Please end this. Welcome to the Mythbusters podcast. Hey, Vette, how much do you charge to resuscitate a flailing podcast?

a flailing podcast. Or take its temperature. Fuck, my baby's funny after all. Yeah. Good girl. Alright, that'll do. If you won't end it, Tommy, I will. Thanks everyone for coming.

Give it up for our guest lawrence moody thank you cam tonight sonia diario thanks very much for coming and we'll see you next time and And they certainly have done it again. That was done. Not for the first time, I concur. Great, great live. Hopefully you guys liked that. We thought it was the Moon Man obviously dominated,

coming out on uh all engines blazing yeah he hasn't he hasn't done any hasn't done any live comedy for a while i think he was absolutely backed up he was telling us that before we went on and you could definitely see it where he came out and just went full throttle yeah no time wasted no getting straight into it talking about getting bummed and copping reach aroundarounds and just going hell for leather. Hopefully it all comes across well. Guys, there's the risk sometimes at live shows when we've done stand-up first that the guests are fucking morons and come on and just start talking about the stand-up we've done. Or the crowd start doing that.

And you at home don't know what the references are. So hopefully we've done our best to give context to everything that happens including visual cues and stuff like that during the show. I don't know cues. Yes. Cues didn't turn up.

Cuesy. No, thank you. Yeah, so very fun show. Thanks everyone from Sydney for turning up, selling that show out. Yep. It was a very fun night. Tommy and I did stand up beforehand, obviously, as well, and that was a real ball. Lovely crowd.

Everyone laughed a lot at everything. Yeah. That's sort of the aim. Heaps of fun. And as you heard mentioned in this episode, now that you, in the real world, not in podcast world, but you're done with your Newcastle run. Run Melbourne. Run Melbourne in Newcastle. I'll start plugging this.

I've mentioned it briefly on the show before, but you just heard me talk about it in that episode. I'm doing the City to Surf in Sydney in a couple weeks' time. And look, I know we've been going pretty hard on the fundraising in the last little while but if you have any more shekels to kick in I'm raising money for the Children's Cancer Institute I am going to be running 14km through Sydney through some of the wealthiest

areas of Sydney wearing a shirt with a cartoon drawing of me jacking off a bull on it so if you would like to kick in to the Children's Cancer Institute. Hopefully I can get some of the money back from them for potential legal fees when I get locked up for, I guess, basically committing a crime of being in public while wearing pornography on my chest.

I thought you were saying you wanted to get some of the money going, well, I was a kid and I did have cancer, so can I keep some of this? Yeah, this is like a trust fund. Yeah, right. We caught a couple of taxis to the hospital. You know, that wasn't cheap, you know, 15 years ago. So if I could some of this? Yeah, this is like a trust fund. Yeah, right. We caught a couple of taxis to the hospital. You know, that wasn't cheap 15 years ago. So if I could do that now. Adjusting for inflation.

But yeah, I'll put the link up on all the socials. Like I said, not to be completely draining you guys of your generosity and your funds. But yes, this is obviously a cause that's close to my heart and something that we've spent a lot of time making fun of on this show. So it would be nice to give something positive back to those guys. And yeah, if you're in Sydney... Yeah, Cancer's had a bad rap on this show. If you're in Sydney and you want to...

Yeah, if you're planning to be lining the streets for the City to Surf, keep an eye out for me. If you're running it, get in touch because I believe at the moment I'm up there just doing it by myself. And then, yeah, I'll be in Bondi just loitering around. Probably, yeah, I reckon it's going to fuck me. You were just saying you just did the 10 kilometers. Well, you know, look, we talk about that next week. Sure.

But I did my run and it's now been the day, I was like, oh, I did that pretty easy. The second day after, I was like, oh, my legs are a bit fucked now. Yeah. So it could be a bit of a creeper on you. But then again, I did – generally, after a big run, you're supposed to do a bit of a warm-down exercise. I sat on a stool and did a podcast and drank beer. So, yeah, probably not the – it's not what Steve Montaghetti used to do, I don't believe. It's a bit of a missed opportunity.

We should have lined up a masseuse to come out and just be rubbing deep heat on you during the podcast. Wow. That would have been something. That would have been great. So, yeah, chip in for that if you can and keep an eye out for that sort of stuff online. I'll be updating us in a future episode.

But, yeah, great times up in Sydney. Always fun going up there. Great to pack out, sell out the Giant Dwarf Theatre two years in a row. Good on us. Good on us. Yeah.

Yeah, very fun time, including the stand-up. So thanks very much. Like we said at the top of the show, so Perth is the next show. We've sold that out. We've got Hobart.

We're going down to Hobart for the very first time. As we speak right now, there is literally single-figure tickets left if you want to go to that. It's a small room. We didn't know how many of you guys were going to come, so we booked a – it's okay. It's triple figures in the room, but we didn't know how many we would fit. And then once those tickets are gone, I believe that's it. I don't think we really have

any wiggle room to oh not at all so i don't i think we are jamming people in as it is right so yeah that's that's it so if you're down there this is your big chance for us to uh to see us live down there first time ever and that'll be a real ball of a weekend we've got our guests lined up already um that's gonna be a really fun weekend just to come down and hang out and hobart and then look the classic comedy good comedy room is a small room that's packed yes our guests lined up already. That's going to be a really fun weekend just to come down and hang out in Hobart. And then, look, the classic comedy, good comedy room is a small room

that's packed. Yes. And that's exactly what's going to happen. Yes. So that's going to be, I'm really looking forward to that already.

Yeah, always exciting to go somewhere brand new with the potty as well. Yeah, yeah, for sure. And of course, ignore the local comedy industry wherever we go and just bring our own friends

from wherever. Yep, Pretty much. Yep. We kind of did that with this episode. Yes. We had two people on that we know from Melbourne. Yeah. No, totally.

But we did try and get Sydney people, but there's no one around. This was actually, you know, we did talk about it a little bit on the app, but it went from absolute, you know, from a drought to a fucking thunderstorm. It was like the other way around in terms of last year, It went from absolute, you know, from a drought to a fucking thunderstorm. It was like, the other way around, in terms of last year, we had six guests on the show in our Sydney show. This year, we got there and had one confirmed. Yeah. And then midway through the night, we were like, oh, Cam Knight can get there.

Yeah. And then Hughsey pulled out. Yeah. And then I remember that Sonia was at a gig around the corner. Yeah. So, hit her up midway through the show. But very fun show.

Great crowd. Thank you everyone for being part of it. And for buying heaps of merch as well which was great because I did talk about it online

but I was within, yeah, I nearly couldn't have fit my suitcase on the plane and then came home easy. Yeah, yeah. I bought a heap of shit.

And that great stuff where people like to, they want a souvenir, so they come up and they go, oh, great, I'll get a burger shirt and large. They went within five minutes. Okay, well, I guess I'm getting an aware shirt in 4XL, even though that's not what I take at all. I'll just hang it on my wall like a flag. Yeah, yeah, totally. So thank you for, there's quite a few people that just very clearly

bought things that didn't fit them at all. So thank you for doing that. Yeah, thanks for, thanks for making the luggage limit a little easier on this guy. Totally, especially

when I flew home with Jetstar, which I was a little bit concerned about for more than one reason. Yeah, so next week is the Newcastle episode, so that'll be,

that is an absolute blinder. So, yeah, that's going to yeah, that's going to be great. What else is news, Tommy Daslow? Maybe there's no other live apps or anything like that really coming up, is there? There's nothing in the pipeline. No, I don't think so. I'm trying to think. Yeah, we've got those two.

That'll be sort of it for the end of the year, I guess. Kind of, yeah. Yeah, at the those two. That'll be sort of it for the end of the year, I guess. Kind of, yeah. Yeah, at the moment. I got my exhibition coming up, if people are interested in that. Opening night, November the 20th at B-Side Gallery on Brunswick Street in Fitzroy. It's on until December the 1st. Currently working away on that. Huffing paint.

Yeah. Doing drawings of little monsters with their dicks out. Nice. Should be good. Nice. Look, we are going to do a Patreon read in a minute. Yeah, look, it's a nice reminder that we do do these bonus episodes. So if you guys, what you really like about what we do is the podcast, you can get a free

one every month. It's free. You're chipping in. Extra. Extra. Yeah, a bonus one. And we've been trying to do sort of some different little ideas, so it's not just exactly the same. Like last month went down very well.

It was an episode where we went and ate at the Gold Cafe that we talked about a couple of weeks ago. Yep. We ate gold, and then we went and filmed a TV show with Mazim Hussain. Yeah. We were on the set, and we were part of it, some new show that was coming up. And that got really good reviews.

People were really into that. Yeah, we did a bootleg episode of this show within a TV show that we were part of filming. So some sort of covert action going on there. And yeah, I guess, yeah, very i i can't wait to see what happens with particularly our involvement in this episode of this show absolutely absolutely hopefully some stuff to talk about down the line absolutely but some incredibly good shit on our part if we if if they've got any brains in their heads at all they will leave heaps of us in because we'll be real

funny oh we were killing it. Yeah. But I can totally see them just cutting us completely out. Yeah. There being no remainder left of us. Well, either way, when it's out, if we've been edited out, that's kind of great for us in a way in terms of this show because we can then just give the behind the curtain of like, here's all the good, here's all the funny little quips we were coming out with.

Yeah, maybe. Who knows? Who knows what way it's going to go? I'd rather get clips of us being absolute dickheads on TV. Oh, the dream. The prime time on a major network. Either way, it'd be fun to be able to talk about it without breaching the NDA that we signed.

Oh, yeah. Fuck that. Who cares? We're not saying anything About the specific We're allowed to say That we did a thing What was on that NDA What was on that

Agreement That I didn't read at all Just we can't talk about anything Yeah Right Yeah I don't believe in that We'll talk about it

When it comes on TV Yeah Sweet So yeah Jump on Jump onto the bonus episodes. Sign up and you will get one of them per month. We do our best to make them super fun and slightly different and a little bit looser. We do put – yeah, we don't just sit here for an extra hour.

Like, we do – yeah, we do put some effort into making it a bit of a treat, a bit of a different format. So, yeah, if you've been held off like, I don't need another fucking one of them, that's fine. You do actually hear different stuff. We were just talking about our next month's one just before we started recording. So I think that'll be fun as well. Which will be good, yeah.

Well, that's enough gabbing. Let's just get into it. Let's get into the extension of the Patreon talk, which is, of course, when you sign up at patreon.com slash little dum-dum club, you can get a bonus episode for the $10 tier. You can get bonus magazines, the $5 tier. And either of those tiers, you or above, you can get the chance to have your name put in the mix,

and then it gets spat out randomly, hopefully, fingers crossed, by the unplanned title alternator. A grand piece of machinery that we have. Look, we're probably basically sort of the face of it. I don't know if too many other high-profile podcasts use this piece of technology. Yeah, I've heard of other podcasts where they say names, but I've never heard of them, when they do those names, referencing the unplanned title alternator.

Now, that might mean they have another system. That might mean that they're in some way ashamed of the unplanned title alternator, that they don't feel the need to go on about it every week. I think they're probably angling for the sponsorship, whereas I don't know the need to go on about it every week? I think they're probably angling for the sponsorship, whereas I don't know whether we're kind or stupid by constantly naming the technology we're using. I mean, to me, it's just like sort of saying, you know, I'll get a Tic Tac.

You don't say mints. You just think of Tic Tacs or, you know, Band-Aids. So to us, there is no competitor. It's the only one. It's the ubiquitous software for this task that we perform. So we don't mean to be plugging the brand. It's just to us, that's what it is. It's so intrinsically linked to the idea of reading out a different number of names every week.

It's a common noun. It's not a brand anymore. Yeah. Yeah. So let's crack in. Let's get into it. How many do you reckon we should do this week? Let's see.

How many this week? Take your time. Okay. I'll have a good thing. Well, look, I think we definitely need to do a few. Oh, at least. Yeah. I don't think we should do what we've been doing lately And doing zero or one

We should definitely do A few more than that Well yeah people People are paying They want to hear their name You know It's not fair to have them listen It's not fair to have people

Wade through All that shit that they just heard Of Lawrence Mooney being really funny Yeah Us killing in front of a live crowd You know they've had to They've put up with all that To hear this

and then we just do two or three names. Well, personally, I thought it was ridiculous the other week when you decide, I said, pick a random number and you pick zero. And so we did this whole setup and then we just sat there and looked at the machine and didn't read out any names. Yeah, that was very random of me, you're right.

That was very silly. And I don't want to repeat that. Well, it's also silly of you to put that responsibility in my hands if you're not going to be satisfied with what I end up coming out with. I won't be doing it again. Lesson learned. Right.

You won't be doing it again. Yeah. Now, how many should we do? Are you seriously asking me how many we should do? Yeah. Yeah. I think we should do at least double the other week. At least double zero? Yeah. Yeah. I think we should do at least double the other week. At least double zero?

Yes. Okay. Well, you... So, you weren't happy with zero? No. Okay. Not at all. Don't pick a lower number.

Okay. Because I don't know how we would do it. We don't want to retract names that we've done previously. I don't want to take back Daniel Hill from last week. We read it backwards. So so now it doesn't count. All right. What about... This is hard.

I need some inspiration. I'm just going to look at my hand. Okay. Inspiration. You can't do cum amount of names. These little... You can't do... Hang on.

These little things that I use to grab onto things. What do you grab onto? My phone. Yeah? A little pen. A little what? A pen. Or a pencil.

Okay. I didn't think you'd finish that word when you said pen, but anyway. My 15th pen. Okay. Okay. What? What are you doing over there? It's a little bit quiet over there. Let's do five. Let's do five. Okay. What are you doing over there? It's a little bit quiet over there.

Let's do five. Let's do five. Okay. All right. And how did you get that number? I counted the number of fingers on my hand. Okay. And then added one.

I missed. Because I'm severely inbred. All right. Tommy Simpson it is. All right. Thank you it is. All right. Thank you to Patreon subscriber number one cab off the rank this week. Thank you too for the ongoing sponsorship that you give us. Erin Goodrich.

Well, well, well. I like this. Erin Goodrich. What? Well, she's Erin Goodrich. I'm just saying she's good and rich. She's good and rich enough to be chucking in money to our little pot. So she's rich, but she's good with that money.

Right. Well, until now. Well, she donates to things. She supports the arts. Right, right. She's not bad rich. She's not funneling that money into toxic waste plants and stuff like that. So that's what we should be calling these people.

Just patrons of the arts. Yeah. Yeah. They should have that thing, like they should be wearing, are they called stoles around their necks? You know when you see like people in the, like an older, richer lady in the Marx Brothers movie, they've always got like a stole, like a mink around their neck. Oh, yeah. They're called stoles.

Are they? Yeah, fur. Like a fur coat. It's like a fur scarf. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like literally a dead animal just dragged around their neck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right.

So all of our supporters should be wearing them. What if that was our deal where if you chuck in, some people, if you're a member of something, you get a card or you get a flag or a scarf or something. We did a stall. We did like a dead fox that you got to stick around your neck. That looks like us. Right.

It's just got our head draped over your shoulder. That would be great. Me on one end and you on the other like cat dog. Right. But, you know, have you got that image in your head where it's like, you know, an older heiress. Yep. And they've got the rest of the gear on.

They've got the hair done. They've got like, not a monocle, but like a little, when you hold those glasses up with a stick. Yeah. God. Whatever. Whatever that's called. What more evidence do you need that we could not be further from the aristocracy,

that we don't even know the names of any of the items of clothing? That's like from... She's wearing a fucking, I don't know, sack over her chest. A rat. And she's got a stick in her eye. That's such an old school reference. I think I'm forgiven for not knowing what it is, because I think it only happened in cartoons anyway.

Yeah, the era of when rich people got around like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People don't do that anymore. Yeah. But yeah, what if we just sent that out to everyone? Because in the context of like the rest of it with the dress and the glasses and the hair and everything,

the stole makes sense. But if you're just walking down the street in tracksuit pants and a singlet and then you've got like the dead fox hanging around your neck. Pretty good. It looks insane. It's pretty good. good it would be insane what do you think and i know like this isn't this isn't like a super serious question because we are a fair way away from i think thinking about that

but what would you say is the next move for merch for us what's the next thing that you would want to do that we don't already have in the inventory i I don't know. Because getting around to the hat was a big one. Yeah, it took a long time to get to the hat. So I don't know if there's... What's the gap? Yeah, you're right. That's what we need to... We were looking into tote bags.

They're one that people have asked about. But they're too expensive to get done. Yeah, no. So they're probably off the agenda. Sorry, guys. People have been asking about hoodies. Oh, yeah. We had're probably off the agenda. Sorry, guys. People have been asking about hoodies. Oh, yeah. We had them ages ago.

Yeah. Yeah, we could possibly get hoodies done again. Yeah. There's always a little bit of a market, but just as we're getting out of winter, some great timing. Yeah. I'm not sure. I did look into those promotional items, like a keep cup, like a water bottle, that sort

of thing. I don't know. People like that. It would be good to try out something just like a bit of it you know a different type of shirt a singlet a hat like it would be good to just do a complete right turn yes and just get something just get something weird limited run maybe it costs a bit more yeah but there'd be enough but if you just got there'd be enough people that'd be into it if you did a weird enough thing. Yeah. A water bottle would be a good one. Yeah, maybe.

Yeah, I don't know. Let us know if there's anything. But, yeah, I think we're doing all right. I think we've picked the right things. Totally. Totally. I'm not saying we need, like I said, this is a ways off happening. Yeah. But it just is an interesting thing to think about.

Yeah. A scarf would be cool, but I don't know where you get them done. What about a phone cover? That's not bad. That's not a bad idea. That's a pretty good one, actually. Yeah. That's all right.

Hmm. Yeah. Maybe we'll look into it. The official 0438 phone cover. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With instructions for how to put on airplane mode. Yeah. Fuck.

Aaron Goodrich. Good name. Aaron, what do you think about Aaron? Don't mind Erin. As a name? Yeah. I've got... I've come around to it.

I never liked it when I was younger, but I'm a lot more into it now. Oh, so you knew about Erin when you were younger? Kind of, yeah. Yeah, okay. That makes sense. It feels to me... Is it Good Rick?

Is it Aaron Good Rick, maybe? Good Rich. I'd prefer to live in the world where it's Good Rich. That's so much better. Yeah, it is. But also Good Rick is on brand with us. It's quite good. True.

Aaron Good Rick. Good Rich. Okay. What are your thoughts on Aaron? You know, it struck me as soon as I read it out. I was like, this is an attractive name. But then the more we talked about it, I was like, I think I went off at mid-conversation. It's never struck me as a particularly attractive name.

I guess because it's like, it kind of feels like it looks like you're about to say or spell Eric. Right. Did you ever dance? Did you ever do like school dances? Yeah. Did you do do school dances? Yeah. Did you do traditional... What sort of dances did you do? We would have...

We had dancing class when I went to an all-boys school and it was just like a way of you meeting the girls. Oh, really? Yeah. So you would meet in a neutral venue and meet girls from another school? Yeah, but with us it was really weird because we had – By the way, there's a reason I've brought this up, but we'll get to that. Yep, go.

What do you mean? Well, I just realized it's a very hard right where we're talking about, oh, yeah, Erin and Goodrick and whatever. Oh, yeah, did you do a dancing class? Yeah, yeah. There's a reason for it. Yeah, sure. Because my school had a sister school, but then we did a dancing class,

and it was with girls not from our – it was from a different all-girls school than the school that was our sister school. And I don't quite know why. I don't really know why that was. Because you don't want to dance with your sister. Yeah, that's it. But, yeah, we'd do that. And then I think – so you would do these – yeah,

you would learn how to do these dumb dances. And by dumb dances, you mean really old dances? Old school, like, yeah, like getting into partners and like waltzes and shit like that. Building up to, I guess, what, like a social, like a final night social school dance. Like a ball. Yeah. Kind of, yeah, where then you go and it's like, the whole buildup of the classes is like, then now you'll know all these dances for when we do the big. Yeah. Kind of, yeah, where then you go and it's like the whole build-up of the classes is like now you'll know

all these dances for when we do the big... Yeah. But also it's like you've spent, you know, whatever, half an hour on each dance and then you get to the thing

and it's like no one's interested in dancing. Right. We're just trying to, you know, get fingered out the back. Right. Sneak away and have a durry, you know.

Right. How old? How old are you? Sneak some booze in. That must have been durry. Right. How old are you? Sneak some booze in. That must have been year 10, year 9, year 10. Yeah. Okay, because we only did it in primary school. So we'd have balls in like grade 3 or grade 4.

Can you get a figure in primary school? Not even in Maryborough. I don't think we did that. But yeah, one of them was Pride of Erin. I think that's coloured That's coloured that name For me since then Ah right

That was the school No no no That was the name of a dance Ah right The Pride of Erin Yeah right Yeah Yeah okay

Bit yuck Yeah Well that's you know I don't think That the girl's name Foxtrot is particularly Oh really The same reason

What about Watusi Thanks Erin Thanks Erin Thank you to Patreon subscriber Oh, really? For the same reason. What about Watusi? Thanks, Aaron. Thanks, Aaron. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Brendan Byrne. Ooh. B-Y-R-N-E. Hmm.

B-B. B-B. Double Bs. I don't mind Byrne. I don't mind that spelling of Byrne as a surname. Yep. Pretty cool. Yep.

I agree. It's out of the ordinary. Agree. Brendan, not so much. Not so much for me. What about Bren? Can you abbreviate Brendan to Dan? Someone must have done it.

It's a fucking long... It's a long bow. It's a long bow. But I don't mind it because you've been dealt a bit of a shithand there. For sure. And to get Dan... Dan's cool. To get Dan out of it. I don't know.

I feel like Dan's just as bad. I think I'd rather be Brendan. I'd rather be Brendo than be Dan. Really? Yeah. Dan's boring. Dan. What about Dan Byrne?

That's all right. I don't mind Dan Byrne. Brenny Byrne. Brenny Byrne. Brenny Byrne. Brenny. Brenny. Bren Byrne. Bren Byrne. Shout outny Byrne. Brenny Byrne. Brenny Byrne. Bren Byrne.

Bren Byrne. Shout out to our friend Brendan who listens to this. Oh, yeah. Danny Byrne. If you changed it from Brendan to Dan to Danny, if you met someone called Danny,

you went, oh, right, Daniel. No, no, no. Brendan. You're like, you are fucking taking liberties, my friend. But that's also, I feel like after you've gotten the intro, no, no. Brendan. You are fucking taking liberties, my friend. But that's also, I feel like after you've gotten the intro,

my name's Danny Byrne. You go, okay, this guy's a real live wire. Yeah. That's exactly the sort of move I'd expect you to pull. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think you'd be braced for it. I think you'd be expecting it. Yeah, go from Brendan Byrne to Danny Byrne.

That's a whole different guy. A whole different guy. Totally different guy. To be going out and hitting the tilesne to Danny Byrne. That's a whole different guy. A whole different guy. Totally different guy. To be going out and hitting the tiles with. Danny Byrne. That's like to go back to school again. That's like summer holidays. He's gone away.

Family trip. He's reinvented himself. He's come back. Started year 11. Different guy. He's popping his collar. Yeah. He's got a leather jacket on.

Growth spurt. Acne's gone. Slicked back hair. All of it. Yeah. His mum's not leather jacket on. Growth spurt, acne's gone, slicked back hair, all of it. Yeah. His mum's not buying clothes for him anymore. He's picked out his own stuff when he's gone down the beach for summer. He's come back with a shark tooth necklace.

Oh, yeah, the coolest. Danny Byrne. The coolest thing going around. Yeah, I like it. I did legitimately do that one summer holidays. Come back, shark tooth necklace. Really? This is me now, folks.

Frosted tips? Yeah, I did. Not frosted tips. Did you ever dye your hair? I did have blonde hair for a bit. Did you? Yeah. Wow.

Yeah. Yeah, blonde. Dye it yourself? I did it myself a couple of times. There was this phase that everyone at my school went through of getting this product. I think it's still around. This product called Sun In, which was just like this, yeah, basically bleach that you could just – would dye your hair. But like it kind of to start with, it wouldn't look like it was working.

So you'd put a bit in and then you'd be in the sun and you'd go, I need to put more in. Right. And so all these kids would come back from summer holidays with just this like absolute fucking white hair great and like my school weren't into it so then the move would be you get sent home and have to go and like have your head shaved really yeah yeah but i but then yeah then when i moved schools i had yeah i had the long blonde for quite a while. Long blonde? Yeah.

Wow. Any pictures exist of this phenomenon? Pictures totally exist. And you know what's funny? Again, we're jumping ahead, but we didn't get around to talking about it in the Newcastle episode, which I thought we would. I talked about this a while ago on the show. Nick Capper went to my parents' house and did some work for my dad. Oh, save it.

Did some work in the yard. Can we save this for another episode? No, no, there's no specific thing here, but like, hey, I was like, this will be funny. Capa will, you know, do, I'll get some dirt on Capa being fucked from my dad. Yeah. But then I realised, oh, Capa's just in my parents' house with all these photos of me as a child and a teenager. There's, yeah, there's a few photos of me in my parents' house, like long blonde hair.

Wow. Really long blonde hair. Great. Yeah. I've dyed my hair. Honestly, me talking about my hair and it being long and blonde, it's like talking about a partner that died in a car crash. It's making me very upset.

I've dyed my hair once ever, I think. Like black. Tied it black. Why? I don don't know your hair's so dark already yeah i don't know i'm not really sure yeah it didn't go like a million degrees or anything i was just like oh never ever done this i've never dyed my hair in any and i'm not the sort of person that would dye it blonde yeah so what what are you gonna dye it if you're either gonna buy dye it blonde or what's the other thing to dye it? Not fucking orange or anything. Yeah, right, right.

My cousin tried to really hard. He got it in his head. He really wanted to dye his hair grey. Right. Like in his 20s. He was like, oh, what if you just had like grey old man hair? Yeah. And tried really hard.

And it just, he couldn't get it done because you'd have to dye it white first and then bring it back so costly like yeah you would be in there for like you're just scorching your head yeah like it's really bad for you yeah like either if you really want it that bad just wait it'll come right don't fuck it if i had more hair i would be i probably would be going wild with the bleaching and stuff. Really? Right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, but you're only saying that because if it came back now, you'd be like, let's do something with it. Otherwise, you'd be just taking it for granted. Oh, yeah. Maybe that's true. But no, I do think I probably would. I mean, I did it When I was younger Right I probably would have

Gone through the phase again Of being like Yeah why not New look New look New me Yeah But you're right

Being bald It is like It is like the guy In a relationship Being like Yeah I could have Had any woman In that bar last night

Yeah If I was single Yeah Yeah And if she came back This is what I'd be doing Yeah yeah yeah But you didn't do that

When she was here Yeah No if it was there I'd have a pink afro right now. I just got a missed call then, which reminds me of last night. I got a call at 12.05, 12.10, and it's like a mobile number, and I'm going, do I answer this? Because who is ringing me at that time yeah it's not gonna be anything good yeah except for like a listener yeah or something like that yeah

but they gave their number up and i was like and then i checked my pockets i was like fuck did i lose my book because i've got a notebook of all jokes oh yeah and in the front page it says book belongs to car. Reward. Here's the number to ring. And I was like, oh, fuck. Where is my book? I don't think I've got my book on me. And I just got off the tram to come home.

So I thought, fuck it. All right, I'm answering this. I reckon this might be someone looking for the reward. Yep. What's the reward, by the way? In the book it says 50 bucks. Okay. Yeah.

In the book it says 50 bucks, but you try and haggle them down. No, no, no, no, no. No, not at all. Not at all. Because, fuck, if I didn't have that book, no festival show next year. So, answer the phone. It's not someone with a book. It's someone going, yeah.

Oh, no, that's right. Sorry. Yeah, she goes, oh, yeah. Oh, no, that's right. Sorry. Yeah, she goes, oh, yeah, who's this? Who's this? And I'm like, well, you're ringing me. Yep. She's like, yeah, but is this, which one is it out of these three? Is it basement bird?

Is it basement comedy? I go, yeah, yeah, that's it. She goes, is that who I'm talking to? Basement comedy. I go, yeah, yeah, that's it. She goes, is that who I'm talking to? Basement comedy? I go, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, what's this all about? I go, what do you mean? She goes, well, what's this place?

I'm like, well, you rang me. And you seem to know the name of it. She's like, yeah, but what do you do? I go, it's comedy. She goes, oh, comedy night. I'm like, yeah, yeah, basement comedy goes oh comedy night like yeah yeah basement comedy yeah it's a comedy night she goes oh right okay well what's going on there i guess stand-up comedy's going on here again this is for context this is after midnight this is 12 10 a.m she's like okay well well well give me an example of what's going on there.

I'm like, what do you mean? She's like, well, who's there? I go, you'd have to tell me the date that you're interested in going. She's like, yeah, well, just in general, though. And I'm like, well, in general, comedians. Dave Hughes. People like that. Yep.

Okay. All right. Okay. Well, I guess I've really just got my one main question like what's that she goes

how much is dinner I don't know I'm not I don't serve meals there she's asking you how much is dinner yeah how much is dinner

right like I think you've got the wrong priorities you're bringing up basement comedy not knowing what it is and then asking and you're really

your only question is how much is dinner and it shows how much you're just frothing on a potential ticket sale that you're just letting this call go like you're not you're not going all right bye this is a waste of time no no no i've got her on the line any minute now i'm gonna close the deal no no it wasn't like that at all i was just like going all right well i'll keep up i'll keep talking to you because you seem there's something wrong with you why are you ringing me at this time of night? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

To ask me about these fucking details. And the fact that she thought from the way you told it at the start that you might have been Bird's Basement, which is a jazz club. Yes. So she just Googled Basement Melbourne. She just doesn't want to be on the... All venues with the word basement in it. She just doesn't want to be on the ground floor.

Yes, yes. She wants to go out of the house, but she wants to be underground. A real Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle type. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She thinks there's some sort of apocalypse coming, but she still wants to be entertained. What's the canned food situation at this venue?

Maybe that's what she meant by dinner. She wanted to go, well, it's a lot of vegetables in tins, non-perishable. She's like, great, I'm in. A lot of unmarked tins, so it's a real lucky dip. What's the dress code hazmat suits

yeah yeah yeah what do they call them when you breathing masks what do they call those people a bunch of people who preppers doomsday preppers

doomsday preppers yeah yeah so maybe she's a doomsday prepper right but then she so I give her all that information and I'm you know

I'm running out of I'm at my wits end nearly by the end of the conversation because I'm literally – this is like a 20-minute conversation. I'm outside my house. I don't want to have this conversation inside. I'm on my way home. Yeah. And this is stopping me from going to bed.

I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. That's the worst, isn't it? When you go, this will eat up the last few minutes of the walk. Yes. And then you're like, this is in the way now. Totally. Totally.

And I'm starting to think – and also I'm outside here and it's like like 12 there's all these fucking weird people walking around and like no shit yeah but there's a there's a place right near my house where like homeless people live and they're you know and my kind of thought is they're walking around where homeless people live well i know what you mean yeah yeah yeah yeah. They're living there. And after 12 midnight, they're kind of walking around near me going, well, all bets are off now. You know, during the day it's like, well, you've got to adhere to society. But if there's some fuckhead out there on the phone at midnight,

you know, this is their world now. Yeah, right, right, right. They're walking near me and I'm like, and I'm literally turning my back going, what's going to happen here? Are they just going to go, fuck you. It's after midnight. It's sort of like. The unspoken contract.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It's like Cinderella at the ball. Yes. Turning into a pumpkin. Yeah. Well, I could just turn into a guy that stabs you in the back of the head now.

Yeah. I'm like, fuck it. I just got to get off the phone. And she's like, all right, all right, all right. Okay, so dinner, you don't know how much dinner costs. You don't know. I'm like, no, I don't know. Then she goes, okay, I'm going to get off the phone. And she's like, all right, all right. Okay, so dinner, you don't know how much dinner costs. You don't know. I'm like, no, I don't know. Then she goes, okay, I'm going to go now.

Anyway, maybe I'll see you one of these days in the future. Great. Just great. Good. Thanks for the call. You've got to flip it now because you've got her number. Just keep calling her back every day and be like, have you made a call yet? Are you coming down this weekend?

Next time you get a weird call like that, just start doing this with her. Yeah. I found out $22 for a palmer. I found out. What do you think? Do you want to sign up? And she goes, actually, that was part of it. She's like, so if I decide to come down, what time of night should I ring you up?

I'm like, don't ring me at all. You can buy them online. She goes, that is never going to happen. What a bold call. But good of her to ask what time of night is it appropriate to call. Like as someone who's calling it, you know, after midnight. Yeah, yeah, yes. It's like, how about not this time?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. How about you take 9pm as the cutoff? A bit later. You've actually woken me up. Did you ever have, I remember one of my biggest memories of growing up is like the house phone ringing, you know, any time past about 6.30 and dad just flying off the handle. Oh, really?

That being a big thing. And like friends from school would call me at like 8 for a chat. Yeah. And dad just going like, what the fuck time of night do you call this to be on the phone? Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of dad's biggest bugbears is like calling after a certain time. Oh, I mean, I don't know how much STD calls cost now on a landline. Like, I mean, does anyone have a landline to even have this problem anymore?

But I remember like there was a money tin next to the phone. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'd be putting in for calls and whatever. Really? And like I'd be having, like I had a girlfriend that was out of town and stuff like that. And so I'd be on the phone for an hour a night or whatever

and it'd be like, oh, just feeding that tin constantly. Yeah. But also taking the piss a bit and being on the phone for an hour and going, oh, there's $6. And then the bill would come in. It's like, cool, well, the tin has $60 in it and the bill is $300. Like, cool, well, the tin has $60 in it and the bill is $300. What a bygone era of like, yeah, up at night after school,

just chatting to school friends on the phone. Yeah. It was good shit. But like wistful for it, but it's like that's basically just what I do now with Facebook Messenger. Yeah. Pissing my whole life away on this fucking app. Yes. I remember, but terrible phone.

It wasn't even that good at phone calls like i've got a girlfriend on the phone but the phone's in the main room oh yeah yeah with everyone else with the family so everyone else is watching fucking it's a knockout or sale the century and i'm sitting there going oh yeah you're trying to rub one out over the phone what are you wearing yeah yeah yeah so you can't do any of that stuff it's just trying type, trying to use the keypad to do Morse code to work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's just boring. It's just like, oh, so what else happened at work?

Great. Oh, yeah, cool. And what... Great. And so someone rang you up after midnight. That's a cool story. Yeah, yeah, right. Nice.

Yeah, early podcasting. Yeah. Just treading water. Yes. Totally, totally. Anyway, thanks, right. Nice. Yeah, early podcasting. Yeah. Just treading water. Yes. Totally. Totally. Anyway, thanks, Brendan. Thanks, Brendan.

Thank you to Patreon subscriber Catherine Barry. Aha. Cathy Baza. Yeah. Love it. Cazza Baza. Catherine Barry. Cazza Baza.

This is great. In what way? I'm into this. In what way? I like it. A girl's name than a boy's name. It doesn't get more simple than that. Barry's a terrible...

It's like Adam and Eve. Barry's a terrible first name, but it's actually a very good last name. It's great. Yeah. Catherine Barry. If your name was Barry Catherine, that's weird. Do you think she's married and when she did the name change thing, she just fucked it and accidentally took the husband's first name instead of the surname?

That's how she ended up with the last name Barry. I'm Googling Barry Catherine to see if that person exists in the world. Yeah, which is the better? Catherine Barry or Barry Catherine? I like Barry Catherine. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I really like it. Yeah, I like both of them.

Barry, Barry, no, there's no, it just comes up with like roll call style. Barry comma Catherine. Oh, right. Okay. Yep. So that's a name that we've invented. We could write a show and have a character called Barry Catherine and we're, you know, we're never going to get sued by anyone going, my name's Barry Catherine and you stole my life story.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe that's what we should do when we- Barry Catherine in the Funny Fellas? Yeah, yeah. When we miss your names from now on, we just put them down in a file and we sell these absolutely virginal names that have never been used in any way. That's our big get out of comedy plan. Yeah.

Selling names to people. Yeah. It's selling names to people. Yeah. So what's come up is that Catherine Barry was a convict that came to Australia originally. Catherine Barry was. Yeah. Right. So probably not this one. No.

Because the date of birth was 1835 and her occupation was a country servant. Right. Didn't have the date of death or the age. Her crime was stealing. She was convicted at Waterford in Ireland. It't have the date of death or the age. Her crime was stealing. She was convicted at Waterford in Ireland. It could be the same person. Maybe that's how she got the money to chip in. Oh, maybe that's why they don't have a date of death.

Yeah. Yeah. She's still alive. Yeah. We've got this 180-year-old chucking in. And she, geez, look, I hope that's true because the sentence term was seven years she's absolutely just pissed that in that's a blip she probably doesn't even remember being in jail she's 180 no that yeah relative to her life that'd be like the drive that i took over

here today it's like she had a big sleep in one day. That was it. Yep. Yep. So she arrived in Van Diemen's Land, which is Tasmania. Classic. 24th of February, 1853. She traveled with 24 other convicts. Stealing. Yeah. I wonder what she hooked.

She probably, well, if she's listening to this podcast, she was probably not signed up to Patreon for a while. So it's basically stealing content. Oh, yeah. Hacking into the server and getting all the bonus content for free. Yep. Yep. Oh, fuck. This is such a shame.

It's got this big record of, like, you know, all these people and what they did and whatever. It's just stealing. But it doesn't say what they stole. Now, that's the fucking detail. That is pretty poor note-keeping to have everything else written down. Yeah. But that's no eye on future generations. That's the thing that they're going to find most saucy is the actual detail.

Yeah. Or was the assumption, you know, is it just like, well, how much stuff was there to steal in those days? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just literally every can stealing a loaf of bread and that's it. Only five objects existed back then. Had to invent more objects because thieves were getting bored. What was the equivalent of white collar crime back then? I guess still just like you could have embezzled.

Yeah, same sort of stuff. Yeah. Fuck, that's so disappointing. There's so many thieves here, so many thieves, and no idea what any of them pinched. I'd fucking love to know. Because, yeah, is Le Miserable, is that like bread? Do they steal bread in that?

I don't know. I've never seen it. Yeah, me neither. In any context. It's always bread. Fuck them is. It's always bread. Surely, yeah, I'd love to know.

I'd love to know. Catherine Barry, if you're related to the Catherine Barry, the famous thief, the famous 18th century klepto, or 19th century klepto. I don't know. 19th century klepto. Let us know. Let us know if you've got any goss on what Catherine Barry Senior pinched. And if you don't have that goss, just let us know if you've stolen things in your life.

What you've stolen. Yeah. What have you shoplifted? Me? Yeah. Or have you not? Maybe we've had this discussion before on the pod, but i would imagine that your parental upbringing around shops totally maybe you have too much respect absolutely the sanctity of yes the shop the

shopkeeper of retail customer relationship of retail i reckon i honestly remember the only thing i ever pinched out of a shop was uh when i was very early into leaving school and being at TAFE and doing art. And I used to be a lot more like you in terms of drawing. I used to love drawing. Yep. And I was drawing with like ink and a proper quill, proper like… A quill. Like the nub, you know, the…

What do you call it? Like an ink pen, but not like a biro or anything like that. Oh, like a fountain pen? Yeah. No, not even like a fountain pen, but like you'd buy a little... What's it called? Like the end of a... Like a triangular bit of metal, and the ink would bleed out like the slit in the middle,

whatever that's called. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. That's not a fountain pen. It's called a quill, isn't it, or something like that? I actually don't know whatever that's called. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. That's not a fountain pen. That's like a, it's called a quill, isn't it? Or something like that.

I actually don't know what it's called. But when you say quill, I think of some cunt dimping a feather in your pot of ink. No, not that. Not that. But slightly better than that, but not amazingly better than that. So stuff coming out the slit in the middle. Yes. Okay.

Exactly. Black stuff. Yep. Yeah. Not great. No. But I pinched a few of them because i was in art shops and just going these cost seven dollars that's insane they're not worth seven dollars yeah and they're the

easiest things to steal of all time so i guess i'm just having a couple of them i think that's the only thing i've ever pinched but so how many times do you reckon you did that like once or twice okay yeah i think the only thing i ever shoplifted was a carton of eggs. Fuck. Yeah. That's bold. Yeah. It was the day before we finished year six and me and my friend were like.

You weren't old enough to buy eggs. Yeah. Me and my friend were like, let's do some egging. Right. Tomorrow at the end of school, let's just go around and do some egging. But then we were like, if we buy these, because, you know, you think like even just like a small prank when you're that age, it's like this is essentially a crime. You just don't quite get how the world works yet. We thought if we buy these, there's going to be like a paper trail.

Right, right, right. They'll know that we bought these eggs. CSI Brighton are going to be onto it. Right, yeah. So, yeah, my friend created a diversion at the front of the iga and then i oh really back and like had to there was like a um they're like sensor thing i like snuck them around the side oh god yeah stealing eggs stealing eggs that's so weird but like double crime like stealing the eggs to then like chuck at people yeah do you know it's like why

not you're already doing this fucked thing. Yeah. Why not just really bathe in the experience? Yeah. Because, you know, it is weird to like, yeah, borrow money from your parents or like use your pocket money that they've given you. Yeah. To buy this thing that you're then going to just fucking cunt people up with.

Thanks, Catherine. Thanks, Catherine. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Christian Siamis T-S-I-A-M-I-S am I pronouncing that correctly say it again

Siamis T-S T-S-I-A-M-I-S that sounds right to me I guess yeah Siamis

yeah Siamis you're never saying T-S-I-A-M-I-S Siamis good old, Siamis. You never sang to Siamis. Siamis. The good old silent letter. I'm a fan of the old TS together. I'm a fan of that as a sound. Tsunami.

Christian Tsunami. That's not his name. No, but in general. Right. You just like tsunamis in general. Yes. Right. Yeah.

Surf's up, dude. Fuck. I accidentally watched a, because I was doing a big, you know, like as I want to do sometimes late at night, watching a bit of Thailand videos. And then I accidentally started watching like a tsunami video from when the big fuck off tsunami happened like 15 years ago, whatever it was. And I was watching and I was like, oh yeah, look, you know, I just hadn't hit stop i'm like oh i just rolled onto this okay i'll have a bit of a look at it and um it started you know you saw the tsunami happen and everything rolling in

and then i'm watching people like you know trying to protect themselves and climbing up high and then i started watching like the waves coming coming and then just getting knocked off and going oh i'm watching people die here i thought i was you know it was like you know when you watch this was this hosted on rotten.com yeah but it's that thing where you so you're so used to watching tv and you're watching stuff where you're not going to see anything that bad right so i'm like oh this is you are but it's like fictionalized yeah yeah yeah but then i'm watching this and going oh oh, there's real people fucking washed away. And it's like... That's pretty wild that that's just...

What's this, on YouTube or something? Yeah. That's wild that that's just archived on there. Yeah. Because you could look at those... Pretty fucked up. You could look at that stuff and go, you could find out who those people are, I reckon. Because not that many people died.

But you're watching like tourists, like western tourists climb up high and like you know older so you're sort of like looking at people like your parents going yeah oh and then man this is one tragic this is this is i know this is such a downer so i'm sorry but just just start the fucking sopranos please this is such a downer but i was watching the like these waves coming in and people at their rooms and they've climbed up high to try and and there was like

obviously this husband and wife that were like slightly separated like we're on two separate poles or something and one of them and you're seeing them go oh

and they're in their bathers you know this thing's hit so quickly and one of them leans over to sort of go grab my hand and then we can you know

you can come over this way and they do it just as they do that, another wave comes down and just wipes them both fucking out. Do you have a bit of that thing, though, with seeing footage like that and even seeing it fictionalised in movies, I guess, where I would imagine this is kind of a common thing and you know that deep down this isn't true,

but there's always a part of me where I watch something like that and I go, I reckon I could dodge that. i think i'd be all right yeah i could run quick enough or i'd just grab onto a tree and just hold my breath under the water for a bit i'd be fine i don't really get what the big fight and you know that that's incorrect but there's a you know what i mean it's a little bit of that mentality of like without being in it that you like to think like i agree in general but with this specific thing when i watched that i i looked at them and i put my parents into that situation oh yeah that age for sure yeah yeah and i looked at them and went bang and then when they got knocked off

well that's the end of them that's the end of those people yes yeah and also me putting myself in that situation no like i reckon I would have climbed out of it, but once that wave hit, you go, you can't beat the water. Being there... That's why I don't swim in the ocean. Like, there's no fucking rules in that thing. Yeah. You cannot control anything in that thing.

I don't want to put myself in there. Fuck that. Being in a situation like that with people that age would be fucking horrifying. Yes. Like, yeah, if it's just you, if something happens, like you're able-bodied and stuff, like you're a bit younger, like you probably –

Back yourself, whatever. Or you like to think that you could, but yeah, that thing of like – if you were on a holiday with your parents and that happened, it's like, okay, I guess we're just all dead now. Yeah. Like I have to look out for these people, which is then they're going to be fucked, and then I'm going to be fucked because I'm trying to help them. Yeah.

Nightmare. Nightmare scenario. Yeah. Fuck the worst. Anyway, come to Thailand. Which part of Thailand did that happen on, the tsunami? It was Thailand, right? Yep.

That was Phuket, wasn't it? So that was the other side. Yeah, right. It was Phuket, wasn't it? So that was the other side. Yeah, right. It was Phuket. Yeah. Yeah, wow. Because that's why there's a lot of stuff in Phuket that's pretty new because they just had to rebuild everything.

Yeah, right. Whereas you look at like Samui and stuff like that, that's all old school stuff because nothing bad happened. But Phuket's relatively new and that's why you have uh yeah just a lot of new stuff they just had to rebuild um i don't think pp i don't think it hit pp oh no it hit pp a bit no it did yeah right yeah but pp's got some older stuff on it i'm not sure maybe it didn't wipe everything out um but yeah fucking hell oh no good there was an earthquake in Tokyo while I was there the other week. Yeah.

That woke me up. I was on like the ninth floor of this hotel. God, what a nuisance. But it is weird to be in a place where that happens pretty regularly, that there's like just kind of smallish earthquakes. Yeah. Buildings are designed with that in mind. Right.

Where you wake up and it's like, like the building shaking woke me up. Right. It's like, oh, I guess an earthquake is happening. But it's just like, oh, it's just a thing that happens. Got to build the buildings with that in mind. Right. That they'll just like, like you're that high up and you're like, I can feel this whole fucking thing wobbling.

How is this not an issue? Like, how is this just designed for this to be okay? Yeah. So what was the reaction of everyone else? Did you walk out and people were going crazy or it was just like, meh? No, yeah. So you shit yourself though? I think I knew that that was a thing that happens there quite regularly.

So I woke up, I was like, oh, this is weird. But it's also, it's like knowing that stuff is designed to kind of be okay in that small of a scale earthquake. I was like, man, this is fun. Keep it going. Yeah, yeah, yeah. stuff is designed to kind of be okay in that small of a scale earthquake. I was like, man, this is fun. Keep it going. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is like I'm on a theme park ride. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was into it. Yeah, great. Yeah. And yeah, I mean, that's a good thing. It's not a great thing, but it's a cool thing to have been part of, I guess. Yeah. I've never been, you know, in an earthquake. Never been in an earthquake.

We were in Copenhagen after the Samui thing when there was a really bad storm hit. When we were in that lovely resort, we were staying in Copenhagen. Oh, yeah, that was sick. We never talked about that, did we? No, I don't think so. Yeah, it was us and Brett Blake and Oliver Clark all staying in the same resort.

We'd been riding around motorbikes for the day. It had been a pretty clear-ish day. Kind of overcast but not too bad we're up the top of the island we're on bikes and then we started making plans about what we were going to do we're going to go back to the hotel we were going to then chill for like an hour go and go to this other bar that's outside blah blah blah yep on our way back i look i i'm not a real i'm not a true country boy but what i have learned from my parents is they're fucking obsessed with weather. Yeah. So I've picked up a few little bits and pieces.

So we were driving back and we were all like, oh yeah. And I just looked at the weather and went, I can see that thing over there and I can see how fast it's traveling. I'm like, we're fucked here. Like that's, we're going to get back and it's going to hit us and that's going to be it. We get back there, go to the restaurant and it just absolutely turns the place sideways and it's going the rain and the storm and everything's going fucking mental and we're stuck in the restaurant and you guys are like let's jump in the pool it's like fucking hell and um i think you and blakey were just like no just go in the pool it'd be really fun meanwhile the beach umbrellas are just flying fucking everywhere.

Yeah, I think we knew we could see that it was going to rain, that the weather was going to take a turn. But I think how quickly and how intensely it kicked in was surprising to us. Like it was all of a sudden just intense wind bucketing down the entire outdoor pool restaurant area where we were staying. Shit flying everywhere. The staff having to like kind of close these big blind things. Then getting mops out and trying to like push the water kind of out of the decking and everything.

It was pretty nuts. It was a cool thing to have been in the middle of. It was fucking wild. Even though it was like a shame because it was like our last night with those two guys oh yeah the plan had been like oh we'll go here for dinner we'll go do this we'll go do this and it kind of like it kind of we were just sort of trapped there for like probably like close to two hours or something i think it was like a little while it was an hour i think yeah it's funny though because you i think you guys were quite insistent like you were a bit like yeah yeah, no, we should go in that pool.

I was like, man, it's not going to happen. And then I think we literally said to the guy that worked there, are these guys allowed in the pool? And the guy was like, no. Yeah. Like, why would that happen? I was pretty tempted because it was just like, well, this is a dumb idea. Let's do it.

This should be wild. But you were also told off for sitting on the side of the pool in absolutely perfect weather about six hours earlier. Oh, that's right. Yeah, there'd been some young ladies leaning on the edge of the infinity pool getting some hot content. Yes. And then I do essentially the same thing. The same thing, yeah.

But daring to not have my photo taken. Yeah. And the guy's like, can you get down? Yeah, no, a woman just ran out and went, you need to get down. And then you go, oh, okay. And then you get down and then she walks away. And then we turn around and there's just a woman doing the same thing. Yeah.

Just like behind you getting pictures. And we're like, you shouldn't be allowed to do that. He's not allowed to do it. Yeah. I don't care. Just not enough of a thought. That's the big takeaway there. Yeah.

Got to build up that ass. I guess so. I guess that's the real takeaway. All right. Well, that's the real takeaway. All right. Well, that's what, four? I haven't been keeping count. You've got it. I'm facing away from the unplanned title alternator.

You're actually looking at the screen. Yeah. Aaron Goodrich. Goodrich? Goodrich. Brendan Byrne. Catherine Barry. Christian Siamis.

That's four, yeah. And then I guess we should do the last one. Goodrich. Brendan Byrne. Catherine Barry. Christian Siamis. That's four, yeah. And then I guess we should do the last one, the final one. I guess we should. Yeah, the fifth. That is the final one for this week. Yeah, it's weird because the final one, I feel like the final one, I feel like this has been happening for a while where the final ones just really haven't been that inspired and it's um it's really harder

to read these ones out every week for some reason they're really sticking sticking my throat as i'm saying them haven't been inspired what they've been kind of boring or yeah not much to them not you know it feels like their parents haven't put a lot of thought into them yeah their names right yeah which is um a weird thing to happen you know you're having a kid you haven't put a lot of thought into them, into their names. Right. Yeah, which is a weird thing to happen. You know, you're having a kid. You should really put a bit of thought into what their name's going to be forever. Yeah. You know, a real person that's walking around on planet Earth.

Yeah. They really should. But anyway. I mean, if it makes you feel any better, not that you have any personal attachment to this. Yes. But if this does make you feel any better, I honestly haven't noticed. Oh, really? Yeah.

I think it's been of the same quality the entire way through. Okay. Well, anyway, you know, despite all that and the randomness of it all, let's... It's just like life itself. Yeah.

Completely random. Yeah. Okay. So thank you to Patreon subscriber Tsunami Comedy. Yep. Well, but I mean, I think anything feels uninspired if you say it in that toss-away manner.

You know, if you were just like, anyway, thank you to Aaron Goodrich. Yeah. You know, we probably would have thought, well, that's a dud name. No, you're right. I mean, when I think about it, Tsunami's quite an interesting name for a person, isn't it? Just like I said, I love that TS sound. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the example.

This is actually, you know, pretty remarkable. The fact that I said I like the TS sound in that guy's example this is actually you know pretty remarkable the fact that i said i like the ts sound in that guy's name previously yeah the example that i used was tsunami right and then we went on a very bone chilling riff about the true life horrors of the southeast asian tsunami 15 years ago and then literally the next name that comes up is tsunami you can't write this kind of stuff yeah you're right that's that's got to be scary when your bones drop in temperature yes fuck because they're surrounded by uh warm the thing they love warm warm blood yeah and they're in no position to enjoy yeah man bone chilling that's bad that because that is quite a nice name but just tsunami yeah phonetically and spelt and everything that that is quite a nice name. But just... Tsunami.

Yeah. Phonetically and spelt and everything. That's a nice name. It's just a massive tragedy. Yeah. It's a tragedy in itself that you can't use it as a nice name. Yeah. I guess the first time a big tsunami hit, they were like, well, this is bad for a lot

of reasons. Yeah. Maybe it's like when they name, when they name, you know, cyclones and hurricanes and whatever. If you use that as a common name, that would be sort of a bit weird. If you go, well, it's Hurricane Tsunami. Oh, yeah. What?

Which one is it? Well, and yeah, do they name tsunamis? Yeah, they might not. Why not? Because they should just, rather than just ruining a person's name, it'd be great if they were like that's Hurricane Tsunami and that's

Tsunami Hurricane yeah here comes Hurricane Earthquake yeah you know or just you know Hurricane Diarrhea

yeah yeah just use a word that's already got a bad connotation to it why are we why are we bringing here's Hurricane Tommy yeah

what? why am I being dragged into this? you're right why isn't there Hurricane Hitler? yeah yes that's already done. At least when you and it makes it even easier for you to know that

it's a bad thing. Because sometimes when a hurricane hits, it's like, oh, Hurricane Sally. It's like, oh, I had a crush on a girl called Sally when I was a kid. Maybe this is a good thing coming my way. Maybe I should sit in my caravan and wait for my ex-girlfriend to come back to me in some way. Yeah, yeah.

And I mean, even just hearing the phrase hurricane, maybe you're thinking of that song, The Hurricane, and you're like, I fucking love that song. You're just excited. Yeah. Bob Dylan's rolling into town. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be great. And it's certainly, it's a hurricane. He's not going to go electric.

Like, this is definitely going to be acoustic. They call it Hurricane Bob Dylan. Just really confuse people. Oh, fuck yeah. What if you started sponsoring hurricanes? Now, that's good. That is a great idea. Yeah, because it's definitely going to be on the news every night.

So it's like, okay, well, it's Hurricane Snickers. Because it is just hurricanes. I'm just thinking now, like bushfires, earthquakes, tsunamis, they never get named. What did you say? Bushfires don't. Bushfires. I'm saying they don't ever hear They never get named What did you say? Bushfires I'm saying they don't have names Do they? Bushfires don't

Yeah But any other big natural disaster So hurricane cyclones Is that it? The two things? Is there more than that? I think that's the only two things That get named

Hurricane, cyclone Someone's going to Have our guts for God This is it This is the Facebook topic of the week. Because it's Cyclone Tracy, Hurricane whatever. Katrina. Katrina, yes.

I'm sure people have talked about this before, but majority are girls' names for whatever reason. Just like boats. Boats are girls. Oh, yeah. Natural disasters are girls. So, you know, for all the things that, you know, girls have got it hard in this world, there's your couple of things.

Cool, you guys get to be named after natural disasters. So that's one thing you've got going for you. You think that's good? And vehicles. Isn't that cool? Yeah, boats is good. I don't know that any women are like, sure, lower pay and sexual harassment,

but in fairness, this thing that just destroyed a village in Africa, at least we get named after that. Yeah, I was named after a thing that fucked up a town in Chad, so not bad. Not bad. All right, well, thanks, Tsunami. Yep, thanks, Tsunami. Thanks to everyone that subscribes and all the people that haven't been read out yet. I'm sure you'll get your go soon.

Yep, you'll get your day in the sun. Yep. But look, quick reminder, if you have been subscribing for ages and you haven't had your name read out, please feel free to hit us up and remind us, and we'll go through the records and lean on the random unplanned title alternator. We'll do what we can. We'll slip it 50 bucks.

Yes, absolutely. See what it can do. Still no promises, no guarantees. No, no, no. We'll have to look in the instruction book to see if you can possibly bribe. Fuck, I chucked the instruction book out. I'll have to see if there's a PDF of it online. Just like the Greatest American Hero.

That show. Do you know that show? I know of it. I don't know what it is though that was the that was the opening episode that was the it's still a good idea

did they remake it I think they were going to reboot it what is he um what is he he's uh we've talked about this

on the show before but he uh was a school teacher okay and aliens visited him and he got given a

the book and this magical suit, this superhero suit. And the book was instructions to how to use the suit. And basically he could save the world sort of thing. Oh, right. Okay. And so the first thing he did was make himself as big as a grain of sand. Okay.

And then an ant walked along. And then he immediately went back to full size, I think. I think this is what happened. But he left the book at the grain of sand size. Oh, right. So he can't work out how to go small again. Yeah. So he's not really in control of it.

That's the whole theory of the whole thing. So he had the superhero suit. So he was just shit at being a superhero. Right. So he struggled with flying. He was always crashing into things. And they call this guy the greatest American. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't know about that. Yeah, well, go back to 1982 and let Stephen Cannell know your thoughts. Stephen J. Cannell? I've always pictured in my head that it was a $6 million man kind of thing. No. No, the opposite yeah this guy was real klutz in my humble opinion right a real so it's a comedy show yeah okay right but right time for me like as a kid you love superheroes um this was this but this was like a a tard a um not a not a perfect superhero it's pretty cool pretty. And his best friend or his mate that helped him was like a cop that was played by the great Robert Culp.

And his distinguishing feature is he would come over and hang out with Ralph Hinckley, who was the name of the superhero guy. Not his name. He didn't have a name as a superhero. It was just a guy. And he would come over to his house and he would eat his dog biscuits. These bone-sized dog biscuits. That was his kind of shtick in the show. Yeah.

The dog biscuit eater. He was like this hard-boiled cop. Right. He would come over and eat dog biscuits. Love dog biscuits. Yeah. That's pretty cool. I'm into that.

Yeah. I liked it as well. I thought he was great. Robert Culp ended up being on Everyone Loves Raymond, I think, a fair bit. Okay. And he was in a TV show called I Spy, where he played two cops, the other cop being Bill Cosby in the 60s and 70s. Wow.

Yeah. Really makes you think, doesn't it? What does it make you think? Thanks, Tsunami. Yeah, if you want to support the show littledumbdumbclub.com you can find the links to our

Patreon as well as all the upcoming live shows we have get a ticket to Hobart it is about to sell out thanks very much

for listening and we'll see you next time see you mate