The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 479 - Tony Martin & Ed Kavalee

Episode Date: December 10, 2019

Get this, we've got TONY MARTIN and ED KAVALEE back on the show together! We do our traditional deep dive into the Chandler DVD collection before hearing some untold history of Ed's video shop days, Tony's walking tours, an hourly breakdown of how Karl spends his time in Thailand PLUS heaps of obscure film trivia (of course).MELBOURNE! Our 500th episode is on sale. It's going to be massive. April 25, 2020. 8:30pm.We've also got two smaller shows on in the lead up. April 4 & 11. 4pm. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on The Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with guests Tony Martin and Ed Cavalli. We have a bunch of live shows on sale. LittleDumbDumbClub.com is where you can find all the information about that. We'll talk to you in a bit more length about those things at the end of the episode in a segment that we call Talking Dumb Dumb. I'll be in there. But until then, enjoy this new episode with Tony Martin and Ed Cavalli. with Tony Martin and Ed Cavalli. Hey, mates.

Welcome once again into the Little Dum Dum Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo, and with me is always the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day, dickhead. Very exciting episode today. Let's get our guests in. Joining us again for the first time in a little while Tony Martin and Ed Cavill

It's great to be here But I've got to say right up front We're not at Carl's place So I can't do what I normally do Which is reach for the DVD shelf Now I did pre-empt this I did think that's the first thing you would look for Well hang on Tony

If you want to go through the Nintendo Switch That's me What I can see is some very I think I can see from first thing that you would look for. Well, hang on, Tony. If you want to go through the Nintendo Switch, that's more than welcome. What I can say is some very... Because I think I can see from here, if I'm not mistaken, what looks to be the Japanese Super Famicom box of a game, which people will know is a Super Nintendo, and that's my wheelhouse, Tony. I'm pretty desperate to get over there

and see what we've got Super Nintendo-wise. It's funny stuff, folks, isn't it? Some embarrassing choices over there from me. What have you got? I kind of thought, Tony, for your sake at least, I don't think you could pick between a Peach and a Wario. No, I've no idea what's being said right now. I brought some DVDs from home.

How kind. I brought some DVDs from home. Did you choose them at random, though? I did choose five from the front shelf of what's been on rotation lately. So I thought, now these are for people who haven't heard before. You're still watching DVDs? My wife is a big Woolworths DVD shopper. They put them near the checkout at the supermarket.

Oh, near the Kinder Chocolate. Yes. Near the Bueno. It goes Bueno Criterion. That's the hierarchy. Wow. I've got a few white covers for you, which goes bueno criterion. That's it. There you get it. The hierarchy. Wow. I've got a few white covers for you, which indicates at least some form of comedy. Yeah, 27 dresses, would that be in there?

That's what I see. That's tough watch. That's not in there, so I'll give you the, there's five here, you can go through them. We'll give you a mini review. Well, firstly, we've talked about Marley and Me on a previous episode, I think. Oh, is that a double disc edition? Hang on, it's still got the security bar. Oh, really?

Whoa. From JB? That's been shoplifted. Is my wife a shoplifter? Winona Chandler. That's amazing. Over 200. Now I've got the vouchers in here as well.

Yeah, we're learning quite a lot. You keep going. I'll see if there's something good in here. Okay, we've got Jennifer Lopez's second act. Never heard of that. No, that's actually on Netflix. That's a recent film. My wife saw that.

Now, look, that must be a good movie because, I mean, look at the review it gets at the bottom. J-Lo Glows from Tara McNamara from Common Sense Media, which is basically Variety. J-Lo Glows? Is that a good... That could have been in a one-star review. That's not even good.

That's a great title for the outlet. It's been to Chernobyl. You've got to keep going. I'm going to Google it. Dirty Dancing. Eddie, you're on Rotten Tomatoes. 15th anniversary edition of Dirty Dancing. Only 15?

I would have had that older than that. Naomi Watts as Diana. That was amazing. I don't know what that was, but... You never saw that one. It's As It Appears, I'm assuming. And then Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Very good film.

Not open. Still in the plastic packaging. Now, you know what? That is a gift I gave to my wife about a year into the relationship because I was like, oh, man, I saw that in the movie and I cried my eyes out. This is a great movie. And she said, thanks for that. And then I realized today she's never opened it.

She's never opened it. Yeah, because two things. It's got the old, like, style of rating down the bottom. It's M15 plus, you know, before they rebranded them. So that tells you how long it's been in that shrink wrap for. But also interesting choice of present because it's about a devastating breakup. I know. That's something you're giving your partner. I know. crap for but also interesting choice of present because it's about a devastating breakup it's about hating someone so much that you want to erase them from your brain but it was a great

movie it is a great movie you know what that was now i'm remembering that was when so that was a year or two into the relationship so i had this great idea at christmas time of doing the 12 days of christmas and i gave a different present every day but like three four days you know i was like fuck off i've given her a dvd i've given her a tobler every day. But like three, four days in I was like, fuck, I've given her a DVD, I've given her a Toblerone what else is there? What else is there in life? A baby? Days 8 to 12 were just whatever

was around the house I think. I've got a Tara McNamara from Common Sense Media. She is a real film reviewer and I think it might be, because on this thing, commonsensemedia.org, there's three categories.

It's for parents, for educators, and for advocates. What's an advocate? I don't know, but my point is that this seems to be like, you go here, and it tells you if kids can watch it. Oh, wow. This is like a net nanny sort of a service. So it says, how old is your child? And you put in, you know, 48.

And then it says, well, they'll love Frozen. Yeah. So the best thing that they could say. That's what I mean. That's the best that she could come up with. Right, right, right. Because J-Lo glows. What category is that from?

Is that from the advocates category? Are children going to think she glows? Yeah, that's a great question. How old do you get before you're allowed to see something where someone glows? Yeah, that's a great question. How old do you get before you're allowed to see something where someone glows in it? That's a great question. Yeah. That's a great question.

You don't often see glows. No, you don't. You know, applied to a celebrity. No. That's like saying, that's like ignoring that someone's put on weight or something. Oh, you're glowing. Oh, you're glowing.

One step away from, are you pregnant? Marley and Me was directed by the same person that directed The Devil Wears Prada. So already you're behind. We were probably one or two titles off picking that off the TV as well because that gets a big high rotation. I believe that this film started one of Netflix's tricks in that they've changed what genre is. As someone who worked in a video store,

we had drama, foreign comedy, western, etc., etc., Steven Seagal. But what Netflix has basically done is they've gone, no, no, that's incorrect. If you look at it now, and I've said this, that genre is dog movies. Right. So dog movies now is what a genre is

because that's what people look for. When Eli Roth walked in there, the horror guy, to make a film at Netflix, he was like, so I've got the, stop, don't worry about it, here. We've done the analysis of exactly the type of people who watch your films. Eli Roth presents a horror. This is exactly how long they watched them for.

And based on that, this is the exact number that you can have to make a film, yes or no? He said, yes, they walked out. So that's, and that's what... So this is... I think Marley and Me... So Marley and Me kicked this off. I believe Marley and Me is one of the movies that started dog as genre.

Right. I wouldn't want to see Eli Roth's Marley and Me. No. Or more leather. What have you got in that voucher booklet? I haven't seen one of them for a while. The little full pamphlet falling out of the DVD case. Yeah, I'm worried some of these...

You've got some deals at Foot Locker there, I can see. Yeah, there's a Foot Locker deal which unfortunately expires on the 26th of February 2011. We may have to ask... So they definitely wouldn't take that, you reckon, if you brought that in? No, I don't think so. Intensity? These guys have gone broke. Intensity? We can get $10 off their games.

Is Sanity in there? Yeah, well well to be fair We just did a live show On the Gold Coast There's a lot of brands up there That we didn't know Still existed So there's a

There's Time Zone Are advertising heavily At the airport Time Zone have Fully branded One of the baggage carousels Like not just a screen Like permanent

Like wooden signs So if that has to come down That's a big operation Yeah no They must have spent A big monster You know they used to do On Sunday mornings in Pitt Street in Sydney, Time Zone used to do Sunday morning when they opened,

which I think from memory was about 10 o'clock or 9.30 in the morning, and it was $10 all you can play for two and a half hours. Oh, classic. And that was me front and centre. Yeah, absolutely. Imagine that. What a day. Comedian Aaron Gox is going around the country,

and Twitter, one of his great hashtags is sanities. You're right. He's trying to visit. Sanities of Australia. Yeah, he's visiting every sanity. Yeah. I didn't even realise. I saw one in Darwin, and I'm going, have I gone back in time?

Yeah. It was amazing. It is. What does it still exist for? Is it for presents for mum? Or is it for driving? Is it driving? Is it presents from mum or presents from Artie? Right.

Has it gone to hardware? Because JB, one of their things that got them back on the upswing, was that they went into, like, you know, cords. Get into bed with Apple. Yeah. And the DVD section is moving further and further towards the back. Towards the door, almost, to get out. Well, they would have been wrapped.

You know, Blu-ray kicks off and they're like, all right, we've bought ourselves another few years here. And then now even them, they're like, have 17 for $8. The Ultra. See, even I'm not biting on the Ultra. I'm going, you know, I'm fine with Blu-ray. You go on ahead. Right.

Don't you want to watch Avatar 6 on the Ultra? Why are they making those sequels? Are they still doing that? There's like four in production in New Zealand right now. Are they making four of them at once? Four Avatars at once? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What year was Avatar?

You can write the same thing. What year was Avatar? The first one. It was like 2008 or something. Yeah. So has Sam Worthington just been waiting for that? Has he been on anything that? Because I've... Well, did he get the...

Did he get... No, no, no. He just... See, this is the trick with these guys. The trick is he would have made all... I mean, sure,

he made some money off Avatar but if you go to the IMDb there's five or six or seven films straight off the back of that. Right. That's where you make all your money. Right.

That's where you cash in. It's Clash of the Titans. Yeah, Man on the Ledge and you sting them when they bring... Don't play dumb, Tony. You know what's on there. Yeah. That's where you cash in. It's Clash of the Titans. Yeah, Man on the Ledge. You sting them. Don't play dumb, Tony. You know what's on there. I'm not sure. When I think Clash of the Titans,

I think of stop motion animation. Oh, yeah. Harry Hamlin. 1981. And Sir Lawrence Olivier, who I'm pretty sure is looking at his watch in one scene.

Just waiting for it to be over. 2009 Avatar. Oh, okay. Does anyone remember? It was so forgettable. I never watched it. Does it look good now? It was at the time.

Does it look good? Because for a while, it was the one they put on in JB to demonstrate. Yeah, the tellies. But now it's like Toy Story 4. Is that the standard bearer? It's moved on to. Yeah, that always seems to be on.

Fully CGI stuff is like how you really get a TV pop in the showroom. Yeah. They must have been disappointed. They'll be disappointed once Cats comes out and it's sort of a bit weird because it's like that would have been the perfect one to be the new display movie. The 3D TVs in the shop where they're like showing off the 3D DVDs and then they've got the pair of the glasses there just sitting there for you like, try them on, see what 3D's like.

I don't want to put these disgusting glasses on. I'm not putting the sock in Foot Locker on. She needs a sock, sir. No, I wouldn't have thought so. So, Tony, you're still going in on old media? You're still purchasing the Blu-rays? Oh, yeah. You moved on to streaming?

Someone has given me their spare key to Netflix. Oh, right. Because I was thinking today, I was just thinking on the way in, You've moved on to streaming. Someone has given me their spare key to Netflix. Because I was thinking today, I was just thinking on the way in, I wonder if you've refused to embrace the Netflix or the stand-in. No, I've gone in. I was just worried that I would not get any work done if I got Netflix, and that's what's happened. There's like 35 things on the wish list. Yeah, because as we've mentioned already, you're a big Blu-ray fan,

you're a big traditionalist, like, Laserdisc fan. I like – it's not the medium, it's like restored versions of old movies is what I like, where they go back to basics and get a new print of something. Right, yeah. And so... How much of a difference does it make? So, like...

It is incredible. So, something like Casablanca or... Well, it's something... Well, Casablanca gets restored every two years, so that always looks good. But anything from this century, there's never going to be a restored print of Marley and Me. Marley and Me is going to look the same in 100 years

as it did when it came out. But maybe they tinker with it. They're not getting good ratings on Netflix. Marley lives. That's interesting. Do you think that's where we're headed? Do you think we're headed to a point where in order to keep people watching things to the end, et cetera, et cetera, that the remote becomes essentially choose your own adventure?

Well, what you said. They start shooting four endings. Isn't there a show like that on Netflix? Isn't there one of those black mirrors where you choose? There's a black mirror. That's right. And there's also a Steven Soderbergh one. Okay, there you go.

So it's already here. Maybe it hasn't caught on. That's great that the only choice you get is like 89 minutes in. Should the dog live? Blue button, yes. Green button, no. Yeah. Oh, man, I'd love that with Optus Sport at the moment

because, you know, you're watching your team. Do you want them to win or lose? Win, thank you. All right, I'll take a vote. Here's my 20 bucks a month. Well, that's one of my media predictions is that now Amazon is coming hard for soccer rights, football rights, essentially. Right.

Amazon. They're rolling it out in England this week, I think. They are. So, Tone, what are they going to do? And one of my, I think, is going to happen is they're going to start employing well-known directors to, because they direct the games. Oh, right. So you could watch, I know it sounds far-fetched now,

but the World Cup final directed by Michael Bay might be a thing that takes place because what are you going to start doing? That's going to look so like SUVs just flipping over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. At the coin toss. What about David Lynch's AFL grand final? Well, Werner Herzog said that he'd be up for it.

I'd be like, let him at it. What about – Let Werner at it. Big bash. Tommy Wiseau. What about – Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'd be –

Just green screen. For no reason, green screen. That's my favourite. I only saw the room about a year ago, and I think my favourite thing is the bit where they're on the roof of the building and it's green screen for no reason. They could have just gone onto the roof of a building. It's them going, oh, imagine if we could get on the roof of something.

It's very doable. Why is it? So have we finally worked out where his money comes from? I thought he would look around. That would be, because I'm like, all right, look, if the president gets impeached or whatever, that's fine. What I really need to know is where the guy from the room is getting his money from. And how old is he?

And how old is he? And where does he get his money? All of the, come on, journalists. Daily Planet, wherever you people work, find out. I think it's both, the problems are both coming from the same area. Sort of, you know, towards Russia, I think. I think that's the answer for both of them, I think. Someone told me he's done another film, or him and the other bloke from the film.

Yeah. Oh, they get back up friends again? Yeah. There's like another film with their team. But it's too good. It's too slick. I did hear that too yeah

did we talk on the pod about when we went to see a screening of The Room for a comedian friend's birthday party I think we may have have we told that story we went

it was a group of about 20 of us all comedians and then maybe 4 or 5 other people in the cinema who weren't in our group so we're fucking around

non-stop having a great time and we don't know the rules because apparently you get printed out a sheet where it says oh when he says, then you throw a fork. And when this happens, then you sing along. These are all the running gags.

And so people are going, oh, they think it's like a game. So they're reading off the list and doing all the funny games. And we're like, we've made up our own game. We're just yelling cunt at people to walk in the door. Yeah, we're literally nudging the person next to us and going, that's you. Because it's just like all our mates there. You know, it's killing. Yeah, it'd be fun. And there person next to us and going that's you and because it's just like all our mates there were, you know, it's killing.

Yeah, it'd be fun. And there's these like four guys sitting behind us who you could tell were just itching to get into the throng. You know, they're trying to wedge into the whole

film. Yeah, get in there. Gets right near the end and then there's a scene where the girl in it is talking to her mother and this guy sitting behind me just like

looks around really eagerly and goes, yeah, piss off you whore. And we all just go, oh. Everyone's looking at their card. Is that the cue for that? Do we throw a fork at this guy now?

I must have missed my cue. Well, what about this, Tony? So I don't think we've mentioned this on our show at the very least is the fact that you are now still doing your lap of Melbourne. Now you are walking your attempt to walk every street of Melbourne. Me and the girlfriend are walking both sides of every street in Melbourne. Right. And the problem is it's coming up to year 12.

Right. And we're having to drive further and further and further. Yep. So it's costing more and more in petrol. Right. And I mentioned this on Nova. And a petrol company called up and wanted to sponsor us oh great i think probably not the right time in history to be walking around with a sandwich

board on saying i love petrol but also i love the idea of like petrol as a whole they want this the sandwich board or they have gone with a cap but i love the idea of idea that you walking around is sponsored by petrol. That's not a good ad for petrol. It's not. But I am hearing a lot of podcasts. We hear so many podcasts because that's all we do is when we drive to where we left off last time. Because we're moving in five directions at once. Right.

How do you pick which direction you set off on? Well, we started under the Westgate Bridge. So we're just going outwards. Wow, that's where a lot of people end. It's a very depressing spot. But we're in Essendon, that direction. We're in Coburg, that direction. Box Hill,

Mordialic down there, and then Alfington, which is actually not very far at all. Well, I have two questions for you. Now, because this is fascinating to me, because I do a lot of walking around. I do a lot of public transport. This is where I think I get a lot of the ammunition for this show

is just by being out in the general public and seeing the freaks that live amongst us. Now, two questions are yes, weirdos. You must be chock-a-block with weirdos everywhere you've walked. And secondly, which has been brought up from your Twitter feed I guess in the last week, an example, the shops that you must have seen.

Yeah, I take a lot of photos of weird shops. What I saw was the rice cake shop. It's on Huntingdale Road, which is the border between Oakley and Huntingdale. And, yeah, it's just a plain shop front with Venetian blinds. Old school. And just in Helvetica letters, rice cake shop. It looks like one of those

dentists that's been around for about 60 years. So for people at home, it's not like, oh, this is one of these new fruity, new age rice cake shop. This is a rice cake shop that's been around since the 50s. And there's nothing in the window, there's just Venetian blinds in the window. And then it's got the phone number, huge, also in Helvetica the window. There's just Venetian blinds in the window. And then it's got the phone number.

Huge. Also in Helvetica. So you've got the Venetian blinds in case the sun gets in on the rice cake and turns them yellow. Exactly. Wow. But you're going and you're driving along. Write that number down. Who knows when we may need it.

But Huntingdale is a goldmine for stuff like that because it's sort of some shops, but when you get behind the shops, it's sort of semi-industrial. And we're obsessed with international colleges, you know, international colleges that are often on Current Affair because there was a great one on Punt Road which was called the Imperial College of Punt Road. Fantastic. And it was written in a sort of medieval What's a classy font? So they've got that sort of medieval Shakespeare script, like on a Dirty Dick's menu.

Is that the classiest publication you could think of? Not the first folio or the Magna Carta perhaps, or some of the gold-plated illustrations that hang in the oldest libraries in the world. No, a dirty dicks menu.

But it's closed now. And there's what looks to be like police tape across it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we found another one which is called the Harwood. That's Harvard, but with a W. Oh, clever. Harwood International College. And it's just in two empty shops that would have been a beacon lighting

in Huntingdale. And it's in the same street as a brothel. But it's an international college. You can't see all the legal boffins in it, Harvard, just fuming. I couldn't get into Harvard, but there's still a few spots at Harvard in Huntingdale. If you sent that to your mum in a letter and said, I got into Harvard, that would get through.

I think that would get through the gate. She'd think her vision was gone blurry. Four years. Four years, you'd be able to get away with that. Are you Googling Harwood? Of course I am. Any graduates, famous graduates? I've said this a couple of times on the podcast,

but we, as a child, we once drove way out of our way on a trip to Queensland, and we went to the town of Gunnedah and my dad got out of the car and said, here we are, we'll see the dog on the tucker box. No, that's Gunnedah, Dad. What do they have in Gunnedah? I've been horribly misled. It's over 300 kilometres away, Dad. What do they have in Gunnedah?

There was not much. No, well, you know, Gunnedah is... If I had a good look at that stage, I could have found a young Tom Gleeson or Miranda Kerr. That's what I could have found. Oh, really? Yeah. Here we go.

Harvard International College. This is on their website. Harvard International College strives to offer affordable and high-quality education in a friendly environment. We believe in power of knowledge. An individual can get supreme power through his or her acquired knowledge. Simply in few words, knowledge is power supreme. This is word for word. Simply in few words. Wow.

That is. Simply in few words. That's very international, the way that they've written that. I might apply. This could be the third degree I drop out of. There's no dropping out of Harvard, mate. Don't you worry about that, my friend. With that reputation, all the good comedy writers in LA,

that's where they all went to, Harwood. All the Simpsons writers. Yeah, the Harwood wampoon. If you want a law degree, you either go to Harwood or to youcanbealawyer.com. You know the names of the courses? It's just got. Well, there's a new... The names of the courses, it's just got a code. There's a new shop that's opened up in my neighbourhood

that's just up the road from me in Glenferry Road. Now, it's called Four Kilo Fish. It's not bad. Yeah, yeah, great. Number four or the word for... The word for. Okay, yeah. Four Kilo Fish.

Now, unfortunately, it's a cafe. So... Right. They've got big signage at the front four kilo fish then straight under it guys we don't sell any fish ah just a cafe that's known as four kilo fish but they've got so many people coming in going where's the fish oh dude we don't have any fish yeah that they've then had to go out and get the sign writer back yeah we don't do any fish just change the name if out and get the sign writer back. Yes. We don't do any fishing. Just change the name. If you've got the sign writer back. Bring fish in or get out of there. Or just get sold out.

Sorry, fish is sold out. But we have scones. Look what we've got here. But there's also, what I love is terrible puns are not going away. You know, in Carlisle Street, Balaclava, you've got Baker in the Rye. Yeah, that's good. I was at a fish and chip shop I saw in New York called Assault and Battery. Nice.

How long is that going to last? What about, I mean, you know, I'm particularly interested in Southeast Asian food. So the Thai restaurant is maybe number one in the pun department of restaurant titles. Typhoon. Yeah. Tie Me Up. Tie Me Up 2. Is it really that? Tie Me Up 2. Yeah, Sydney. yeah Tie Me Up Tie Me Up 2 is there really that

Tie Me Up 2 yeah Sydney Tie Me Up Tie Me Up 2 there's one in Malvern used to be one called Bow Tie which was B-E-A-U

so it's got French and Malvern so it's like working on several that must have gone to Harvard that is good

you've hit on a great one Ed that is I love the Asian restaurants that open up a sequel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Any other restaurant they go, you know what? We'll branch out.

We'll start up a different place, similar menu or whatever, but just literally going lamb, lamb, two. It's right down the road. But to me that works because if I see like, you know, when you see Time Me Up 2, you're like, well, the first one must be going so well that they've had to open a second one. In my mind that makes me, it's the opposite of films where you go, oh, the first one must be going so well that they've had to open a second one. In my mind, that makes me, it's the opposite of films, where you go, oh, the secret wine and beer is good.

In restaurants, it makes me go, yeah, must be good. But also, hairdressers are one of the worst. And a friend of mine, her dad runs a really traditional barbershop on, I think it's Lower Dandenong Road in Mordialloc, and it's called Bruno Laria Hairdressing. It's just a standard barber shop. You know what you're getting. It looks like it's a set from a movie, right?

But then further down the road, there's a hairdressing salon called A Breath of Fresh Hair. Yeah. Are you going, I don't like it. Exactly. It's like I'm breathing in some hair. I'm choking on some hair. Well, in Victoria I don't like it. Exactly. It's like I'm breathing in some hair. I'm choking on some hair. Well, in Victoria, I will pass it.

Yes, in Victoria Street, there's Kevin Hair Studio, which is like the most unglamorous. You know how they have the photographs? They should just do one. We do one haircut, the Kevin. Yeah, yeah, exactly. There's a shop near me where they've got the photographs of the hairstyles available, which I love,

but one of them is just a photo of the rapper Ludacris. Which is? And you're like, yeah, I love the Ludacris. Isn't it great when there's a… That's Cornwall style, isn't it? Yeah. A board of celebrities, a friend of mine went to a, I think it's a Vietnamese restaurant in the city that's only been open for about a year, so it's still quite new.

And they've got a huge board of celebrities that have been there, and there's only one photo of Brian Nankervis on it. Yeah. She said she goes in every month and there's still no one else. It's just N curve. Well, back on the sequel of restaurants, that's one of my favorite restaurants in Koh Samui is, yeah, a lot of them do that. They have the whatever it is, cafe, then whatever it is. Two.

Yep. One closed down. So they've just got the second one going. Oh, that's interesting. And they've just left that going. So it's quite a mystery to go in there and go, well, where's the, you know, if this is so good, what happened to the first one? It's like, oh, it was no good.

It was unsuccessfully closed down. was no good. It was unsuccessful. I closed down. Bad place. This one. This is where we learned our lessons. We learned our lessons. It's not bad if you just jump in to number two

because what you were saying, Ed, that's going to make people think this joint must be really jumping off, must be really successful. Fuck it. Just start with four. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Just go Carl's Thai restaurant four. Yeah. But there'd be people that would be going, oh, I can't eat there. I won't follow the menu. I haven't been to the first three. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I know. How do I know?

So then you need to work backwards and start a few prequel restaurants. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Down the street. Wow. Can we go back? The rice cake shop. What is a rice cake? Are they like the little thin, the discs?

That's what I assume so, yeah. It's like a big coaster. Like a coaster. Yeah, right. I've never heard of being able to get them fresh, like from a shop. I always thought, you know, the packaged like. It's got a hunting taste to it. I don't think they're much fresher than when they are in the packet.

Like I think they're never going to be that good. Yeah. I've never heard. That's insane. I've never heard of just a specialty shop for just the rice cake. No, no, of course not. And they're thriving. Wow.

Maybe they're the supplier. Well, I mean, I don't want to say anything defamatory about this shop. Yeah. But if you have a look at the comments under my tweet, people are suggesting

that maybe they sell more than rice. That's ridiculous. I'm not endorsing that concept. Right, okay. This is all making sense now. That's crazy. This is... Well, you wouldn't...

Yeah, well... Puppet dubs, clearly. Right. Also puppet dubs. Yeah, also. They're just off the menu. That's very funny if that was the actual case because that's someone going,

this is the perfect crime. I'll make a rice cake shop and no one will suspect a thing. That's like the most ridiculous cover of all time. People love to say that about any business that doesn't quite make sense. There's a drive-through florist in Carlton that people don't know. That's genius. People have said for years, drug front. What?

Are they idiots? That's amazing. Everyone who's forgotten an event or a moment or is going somewhere and forgotten to get a mild present needs a drive-through florist. There's 24 hours as well. Of course there fucking is. That's exactly what I'm saying. But if you're coming home

from the airport, ah, fuck, someone's birthday I've forgotten. Those people are idiots. That 24-hour florist, every florist should be 24 hours. Ed's in cahoots with them. Look how much water

he's pouring on this story. I'm a fucking pragmatist. There is a bit too many, there is a few too many 24-hour florists, I think. How many are there? Well, there's those two

that are back-to-back in Carlton. They're opposite each other, aren't they? They're close, I think, yeah. Yeah, and then there's one near my house. Right. So what are you saying? Well, I'm saying there's a lot of... But that's near hospitals as well.

That's semi-close to hospitals. That makes sense. Yeah, so babies get born at weird times. Okay. That type of thing. So, yeah, that's... You're in on this. I'd love to be. So babies get born at weird times. Okay. That type of thing. So, yeah, that's... You're in on this. I'd love to be.

You're too keen to be shutting this theory down. Now you're going to be saying, oh, there should be a 24-hour fucking rice cake shop. Oh, I will. What about at the airport when there's a luggage shop? Like, who's buying a suitcase at the airport? Absolutely. I absolutely agree.

Is that funny if Roberta Williams' sister has allegedly stolen your luggage? I've done that. I've had to buy a bag at the airport. So you were on the Skybus with an armful of

shirts and pants. I've forgotten something. No, coming back from some, I want to say America, and just didn't get the... Okay, I'll put all this in my carry-on.

Too much. Sale. That thing's old and shit. I'll get a slightly bigger one. Okay. Great. Yep. But you're right.

It relies on a lot of people doing that. There's one at the Melbourne airport that is well beyond when you've gone through customs and you're in the international bit. That doesn't make any sense to me. Yeah, right. Because that theory then doesn't hold any weight.

You're about to get on the plane. It's interesting. Unless you're shopping at the airport. And you can't carry it on. It's too big to carry on. Yes. It might be a loophole. One of the best things I ever saw at an airport was at Heathrow,

and there was this really aggro Aussie broad just like in a tracksuit, and the luggage was way over. She's putting it on the thing, and they're going, you've got to pay another 200 pounds or something. And she's just turned around and started saying to people, can someone take this? Have you got – it's your bag. And was trying to get other people to take this stuff,

and no one was having a bar of it so she's gone right well fuck you then and she's just started taking things out of her suitcase and putting them on

and she's gone to about like seven jackets and you're going to fly all the way back to Australia with like seven jackets on looking like

the Michelin man yes great it works they can't stop you but they're thinking themselves go on then exactly hour 14 of that flight put it on Looking like the Michelin man. Yes, great. It works. They can't stop you, but they're thinking themselves.

Go on then. Exactly. Let's see what hour 14 of that flight is. Put it on. Put it on. Put it on. So I thought this has been a recurring thing lately on the show. Now, my wife works for an airline, which means that I get very heavily discounted travel. I get the staff travel.

Is it still 10%? It's something like that. It's just the tax. That's the way forward. It's just the tax. Well, here's the travel. Discounted travel. I get the staff travel. Is it still 10%? It's something like that. It's just a tax. That's the way forward. It's just a tax. Well, here's the thing. You're on standby, which means planes are getting busier and fuller all the time,

which means now... Sometimes you can wait up to an hour. No, no, no. I'm getting knocked back. That'd be nice. I'm getting knocked back. That happens. I'm getting turned away.

Well, I'm saying it used to be perfect. A couple of years ago, it used to be perfect. Now, I'm trying to get on the... Waiting for It used to be perfect Like a couple of years ago It used to be perfect Now I'm trying to get on Like waiting for a few flights Not getting on any of them Gets to 11 o'clock No so you better go home

Your best chance Is to come in at 6am Wow So it's getting worse and worse Okay But you've also There's a certain standard Sometimes you've got to dress as well

Yes that's right Just in case Yes because you're representing Another airline or whatever, which means, and that comes back to that problem that that young Australian lady had at the airport, where all of a sudden you've packed everything in a suitcase, it's gone into luggage and whatever,

and all of a sudden they're like, you're dressed like absolute shit, sir. You have to wear pants and a jacket. And it's like, I'm coming from Thailand. I've got a singlet and shorts on. And you're forced into going shopping in the airport and having to buy a new outfit just to get on the plane. At top dollar.

Yeah, exactly. Like no one's going, you're looking for a bargain at the airport or looking for the most fashionable clothes in the airport. You're just wearing a big old I love New York shirt or whatever it is for the next nine hours. I love New York. That's funny, like going into one of the shops at the airport

and just being like, what have you got on special? Just anything that's going to get me onto the plane. Yeah, yeah. I'm more taken by that lady just trying to see you. I would never think that, travelling on my own and being over the luggage limit, I would never think to just, like, turn to someone near me in the line and go, I'll pay you a bit less than what it would cost me

if you can just take this for me. And then you've got to reassemble it all at the other end. You've got 15 people you've got to get together. Yeah, I've certainly done that. I've been doing that in Thailand where it's like I'm about to get on. I'm like, oh, there's too much going on here. I've got to put a few layers on. And all of a sudden I'm sitting in a Thailand airport with three layers on

because it won't fit in the thing. And I'm like, I've got to change my life somehow. Yeah, this is not me so what you love what's your what like what's your main like

in Thailand you love it I know but what's like what's a best day like if you had right my perfect day is what here we go

thank you for getting right in the middle of my wheelhouse no worries perfect day is this wake up do you always stay in the same place

no but I've certainly got favourites. Now, this usually goes for an hour, so I'll try and edit all of this. I was about to say, this is interesting that you're so ready to answer this, because one time he got asked, what are your favourite things about it? And it took us nearly an hour and a half to get even three things. You asked for five things, and so I had to narrow everything down to five. No, I want a day, because a day means more than... My day on a plate.

A day is easy. Cal Chandler in Thailand. Yeah, exactly. No, no, I want a day because a day means more than... My day on a plate. A day's easy. Yeah, exactly. Day's easy. Right. My day is this. Wake up. What time? Roughly, I'm still basically on Australian time,

so maybe I'll wake up at 7 or 8 o'clock when I should be waking up a bit later than that. Okay. Realise that I'm not hungover, even though I've had quite a bit to drink the night before, which is great because that Thai beer, very rarely does it give me a hangover I think fantastic I mean

I've been very fortunate with the cocktails and the ethanol contained within that I haven't had a hangover but anyway wake up go for a 5k run run down the beach come back again always the same way no because I stay in different places.

Okay. There's one particular stretch that I know is exactly 5K, so that's a good point to go to. Then do a little bit of the breakfast buffet. Not overload because breakfast... Western breakfast or Asian breakfast? Western breakfast. Omelette station?

It's... Oh, look, I can't go past the eggs egg station or egg scrambled in the bain marie fresh egg station yeah what do you get

this is like a murder suspect being questioned and it's the guy who turned out to definitely do it because there's too much detail I remember distinctly

I wasn't hungover and I have a little bit of egg precisely 5k fresh this is this is I'm sweating.

I've fucked Columbo's under me. Fresh scrambled eggs. Now, I have to... Now, it's a bit of a juggle because I'm trying at the same time to manage my own toast as the Thai chef is scrambling the eggs because you've got to get back

because the Thai chef is very want to overcook the scrambled. So, he needs to basically... they've got the plate very hot. He dumps them on and I've basically got to go, get them off now. Can you get them off now? And then there's a language barrier and I'm just frantically going. You need to learn the Thai for that. What are you doing?

Take the eggs off in Thai. You're right. How do you not learn the Thai for take the eggs off? That's fair. What the hell's wrong with you? Okay, that's fair. That's fair point. I'll make a note of that.

Yeah, good. So get that off. Or at least have Google the hell's wrong with you? Okay, that's fair. That's fair point. I'll make a note of that. Yeah, good. So get that off your list. Or at least have Google Translate ready to go on your phone. Aha! Yes, yes. Or bring your own spatula and you just lean over the counter

and get them off yourself. So I'm still waiting for the toast. Is that what's going wrong? Yeah, well, that's the thing. I've got to whip over to get the, to put the toast in quickly and then whip back to make sure that the eggs aren't burnt.

Because I quite like them running. You don't want them, you don't want them to be cooked up. Yeah, yeah, it's okay. So that's, so there's the drama of the morning, really. So you've run, you've come back. I've come back. I've maybe even gotten away with this.

It's barely 8 a.m. I've maybe gotten away with a sweaty jump in the pool off the back of the beach. Oh, I know. We were meant to do that. We were not meant to do that, but there's not a lot of security at the beach. That's inconsiderate.

Not a lot of security at the beach pool at 7.30 a.m. to 8 a.m. So if I can get away with it, I'll get away with it. All right. So you do it and then you're back. So you've had your breakfast. Had a mini breakfast. Mini breakfast, sorry.

To me, the breakfast is like the lesser of the meals of the day. It's almost a forgotten meal for me. Yeah, good, yeah. Because you're making room for lunch. Beautiful. Because, you know, I don't want to fill up on eggs. No, not there. That's hours away. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. I can get eggs anyway. Beautiful. Because, you know, I don't want to fill up on eggs. No, not there. That's hours away.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. I can get eggs anyway. And also there's a bit of a mentality. You pay for a resort. It comes with a buffet breakfast. I know what you mean. You want to save room,

but you do feel like you're being taken for a ride. Absolutely. If you don't indulge slightly in the buffet. Exactly. I don't want it at all. If I had to pay for breakfast at all, I'm feeling ripped off if I don't come in and get half a plate.

No, no. Get into a flight of scrambled eggs. Yeah. I'm feeling ripped off if I don't come in and get half a plate. No, no. Get into a fight about scrambled eggs. Yeah. And I might get a – if I'm being cheeky, I might get a little bit of the potato – Gratin? Yeah, yeah. A little bit of that or any sort of version of that. Yeah, good.

Yep. Maybe go to the fruit platter and just get a bit of cheese, a bit of Edam or something like that. And while you're doing this, are fans of your podcast sort of swarming around asking you, oh, this is not a podcast-related holiday? No, no, this is non-podcast. This is a podcast festival. This is a non-podcast.

No, no, no. And look, to answer that question, when we do our podcast festival, our listeners aren't, we've never called them fans because they don't act like fans. We always say they're aware of us because they're not coming up going, oh, this guy, they're sort of like, if I was at the buffet, they'd be like, can you fucking get out of the way of the eggs? We're trying to get our breakfast. Stop being so weird.

We call them fans and they don't like it. Yeah, okay. So then what's between breakfast and lunch? Oh, good question. Right. So then that means time to go back to the room, have a shower, come back, a little bit of pool time, basically sort of watching the time to make sure that it's nearly time for lunch.

Right. So then go up the street, have a good – I'm fascinated. Like that's why I'm fascinated with questioning Tony about the streets. I grew up on the tough streets of Meriborough. I'm a big retail fan. I love shops. Oh, shopping streets. That's the whole – without walking, that's all we look for, weird shops.

Exactly. So that's me pounding the pavement of the beach road in Koh Samui, going up and down, checking out what's open, looking at menus, all that sort of thing. So I might take 30 minutes to an hour to decide on which place I'm going to go to for lunch. Bit of window shopping. Yeah, because it's like, do I go to an old trusty favourite

or do I branch out and try and find a new favourite? Jesus. You're like a dog trying to find a place to lie down on the ground. Just doing some circles. Oh, yeah, yeah. Just wanting to get the perfect. Sniffing around. Just wanting to get the perfect.

Post lunch. Post lunch. Yeah. Yep. All right. Post lunch might be, there might be a little bit of time for maybe shopping for someone from home or something like that. There might be some early beers maybe, something like that. Just quickly, to go back to lunch, how long are you spending in the lunch place of choice?

Are you posting up there for a little while, getting stuff done, taking your time? A good 60 to 90 minutes, I reckon. Drinks? Is there drinking with lunch? Yeah, there'll be one or two drinks with lunch. And also, I've got a real thing in my head of making, again, value, looking for value while I'm getting lunch. So I won't be going to some sort of five-star place, of course.

I'll be going somewhere where maybe your main lunch would be maybe one to 150 baht, which means you're basically paying about $7 for lunch or something. So then I'm going, right, well, if I basically paying about $7 for lunch or something. So then I'm going, right, well, if I'm only paying $7 for a million meal, I might as well get three of them. And so I'll get some sort of make-your-own-buffet sort of thing. So I might get an entree or... Now you're understanding why the breakfast buffet...

Yes. And will you eat all of them? So there might be like, I might get like a garlic bread. I might get like a pizza. Thank goodness we're in Thailand. Yeah. But it's garlic bread. I might get like a pizza. Thank goodness we're in Thailand. Yeah. But it's garlic bread. Yes, exactly.

Big fan of the garlic bread in Thailand. Hey, only $70. Thank goodness. I might, you know, if I'm going silly, I might get a garlic bread and chicken satay sticks. Whoa. Get a pizza. Yeah.

Because they're cheap. They're like, you know, again, you might pay $5 for a pizza. Why not? Why not see what a five dollar pizza is any toppings don't get margarita I don't go too tricky

because it's Thailand in many ways not the home of pizzas oh well yeah you could say that so then

definitely get then find a nice whether it's a red curry or a musselman or a penang curry and go with something nice and traditional. Pizza chaser. That's sort of my toe in the water of

how good a restaurant is. How good the Penang is. Yes. So do that. Then a bottle of water, maybe a Fanta and a Chang. Whoa. Coloured Fanta or always orange? Orange. Yeah.

Good lord. Because Fanta is not a one question game in Thailand tone. Fanta or always orange? Orange. Yeah. Because that's not... Good Lord. Because Fanta is not a one-question game in Thailand. Fanta equals many different colours. Also, Fanta is... And I'm hopeful this isn't true, but Fanta is a company over there that involves itself in hotels and car hire as well. So you can hire scooters from Fanta over there as well. Yeah.

Really? Yeah, that makes sense. I don't know if it's the same company or not, but there's a lot of... Fanta, badging. Yeah. So then go, yeah, and now we've had lunch. Yep.

So you order your Fanta drink at the restaurant and they're like, do you want a motorbike with that? Yeah. You've had your blue Fanta. You've had your beer and now? Some shopping? Yeah, so I'm going to have to walk that off, obviously. So I'll crack open the laptop.

I might do a bit of business there. Then after that's done, so that's an hour, hour and a half, whatever it is, then I might go back to the room, do a bit of pool. And then, so that's maybe 3, 3.30, I think, a bit of a walk around. And then it's basically checking the time until dinner. Jesus. Back onto the sundial. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's just one meal after another. Yeah. That's all this is about. I do a lot of running before I go to Thailand because I know exactly what's going to happen. You're not a fat man. Let's be as blunt as that. You know what? I've just been to Thailand, so now I've been hitting the...

I jogged here now. So I've just run here now. So I've been hitting the gym quite a bit after it because I think I put on nearly four kilos in six days. Oh, really? That was two weeks ago. Doesn't Kenny do the opposite? Because Troy goes there and loses weight.

Yeah, because he's kickboxing all day. Yeah. I'm not kickboxing all day. Yeah, yeah. I'm not kickboxing. No. I'm kickbacking. Yeah, man. He's not putting away a pizza, a curry and a Fanta. What a day.

And then just mad beers? And so, yeah, then dinner time is sort of repeat the same sort of thing, roughly. In bed by what time? Oh, God, what would it be? It depends if I've got someone with me, but if it's just me, it would be... I mean, you know, a friend or my wife. Sure, gotcha. Yes, please.

Got him, Ed. For people at home, I've been giving several looks. To be fair, the looks I gave were to my fellow officers. All right, leading is Miranda Wright. Not to the not to the love island I love that so dinner is that

plus but by dinner I might I probably won't take a risk with someone I don't know by night

I'm like I'll go to an old favourite because I'll I'll be amongst friends because now I've been there that many times

that a lot of the restaurants know me, and I'll come in and they'll be like, ah, there he is. What was that, sorry? What do they call you? Good question. Mr. Dumb Dumb? No.

Some vendors were doing that last time, because there was a lot of the listeners that were there with the shirts on. That's great. And that was our fantasy, that we'd come back and they'd have made pirate shirts about merch. That's excellent. Yeah. That's how you know you've made it. That's a. And that was our fantasy that we'd come back and then have made pirate shirts about merch.

That's excellent. Yeah. That's how you know you've made it. Yeah. That's a very fun idea. I tried to do that once. I tried to get them to stage a photo where we got our merch and we put them in the...

Wouldn't do it? Like in the whatever you call it, in the coat hangers, in the little stalls and then go, if you could do this and then it looks like you're stealing our idea. And they were like very aggressively escorting me away from their shirts. You know, like how you rip everyone off. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Like how you're pirates.

It made sense to me. But yeah, so then it's basically the same at night but with more cocktails and with more people that I can sort of pretend I know and talk to and they go, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they pretend to really like me because I'm spending a lot of money there are you thinking i'm learning time yeah i know i know it's very stupid my mother speaks time oh really she used to a lot of it yeah the cavalry's a tight last name oh really yeah yeah because there are no other if we had still had such a thing as the phone book would there be any capitalism in the world there is no other ed cabal really because of the weird mix of it yes still had such a thing as the phone book, would there be any Cavaliers in there? No. In Australia?

In the world, there is no other Ed Cavalier. Really? Because of the weird mix of it. Yes. Wow. Isn't that – I'm singular in that. I'm the only person called that.

I was thinking about that yesterday, the white pages. So does that exist anymore at all? Online. I don't think I've got one for about – because I still have a landline. You're right. I don't think I've received a new white pages for a couple of years. And I wish I kept them all because it was fascinating to see it getting smaller and smaller.

I wish I kept all of them. But I was thinking about that yesterday because it's like, okay, let's go back 10 years before, 10, 15, whatever years before mobile phones. And so you get your white pages. You've got a book with everyone's phone number. If you have that right now, that's some sort of weird stalking. Exactly. It is strange.

If you said you had everyone's phone number now, that seems illegal. Well, I got into comedy in Melbourne because I was on the Dole in Brisbane and I'd read about the D generation. And there was a show on called Australia, You're Standing In It. Yes. And I went through the credits and it was like Jeff Brooks Brooks Blackburn and it said Rod Quantock and I've just

gone to the post office. Oh the easiest one to look up. And there was like two Quantocks and one of them was R Quantock and I've just called Rod Quantock and he's given me advice on who to send my letter to at the ABC comedy department. Wow. Amazing. I guess it is as easy now with social media, though.

I mean, you can go to people's fan pages or whatever. Kind of. That was in a movie, Tony, recently. Someone looked someone up in the phone book, and it was like someone really famous, someone from England that was like. Oh, is it not? Oh, no, because Laurel and Hardy, I remember hearing in a podcast, Mark Maron interviewing Dick Van Dyke.

And he said, he goes, oh what you're doing now with people like me, when I was a kid I used to go around and interview Buster Keaton and Stan Laurel and Mark Maron goes, how did you find me? Because it was just in the phone book. You just look up Stan Laurel and just go to his house. Yes, well done. Thank you Tony.

That was exciting though having your own little phone book of people that you knew. You know, I'm meeting someone, I had one of my own, we had a family one and then I had my own one as a little kid. And being like, though, having your own little phone book of people that you knew. You know, and meeting someone. I had one of my own. We had a family one, and then I had my own one as a little kid. Yeah. And being like, I've made a new friend. They're going in my little phone book. Yeah, they're going in.

Right. And now it's like you meet someone for five minutes. It's like, can I add you on Facebook? Yeah. Fuck off. I did that. I used to come down from Maribor to Melbourne, and I'd come down and be like, okay, well, I'd meet friends there, and I'd pull out my little handwritten list of friends

and their phone number that was in my wallet. And then you'd have to find a pay phone to ring them up and go, I'm in Bourke Street Mall. Where are you? Do you want to hang out? But then you had to find a phone booth that wasn't jimmied shut with like a little stick because there's a junkie sitting within five metres waiting for you to put 40 cents in.

And then you go, fuck, how come that didn't work? And then walk away and then you see the guy running. Take the 40 cents out and put the stick back in and walk away. There was one outside the Rebel in Bondi Junction that someone worked out that if you just shook it, the money would come out. And every now and again, when people got short on funds, you'd just go and shake the phone. Was that someone Ash Williams?

He's there now. Let's ring him. He's got a hat. He's got a box. He's got a number. Hey, that business with ordering the pizza because it's only $5 and ordering a range of foods, that gave me a flashback that can link us back to Avatar. Because when we were doing Upper Middle Bogan,

we were doing the post-production at a place in south melbourne where james cameron was flying in from new zealand every day on his private jet and doing post-production on one of his uh you know underwater documentaries yeah because he lives in new zealand oh so he was just popping over wow then he was driving to south melbourne in like an armoured Humvee, which just double parked all day. And then in reception at this place in South Melbourne, there was just his bodyguard,

who was just this enormous guy with mirrored sunglasses who just sat there like the Terminator all day, wasn't even allowed to read a magazine, just facing in neutral waiting for James Cameron. And then someone who worked there told me that, you know how those post-production places always bring around a menu? Yeah. And it's like fancy.

You can get quite fancy food. Oh, really? Because it's for advertising people, and they can order like six different meals they can order. James Cameron, because he can't be bothered thinking about that, just says, give me everything. So they just bring in a table with all of the meals on it and he just has a bit of that one, a bit of that one, a bit of that one.

James Cameron treats the world like Thailand. That's the dream. That's the dream. Everywhere is Thailand. Fuck. What's with the armoured car and the, like, Cameron just obsessed with the idea of people taking him out. He's living in one of his own films.

He's making his own Titanic. Like living in one of his own films. He's making his own Titanic. It's bound to go down. Well, I think he has a lot of rocket launchers in South Melbourne. We need the Armand Humvee. He has bought a whole section of the North Island of New Zealand. It's like him and Kim Dotcom. Oh, yes. Kim Dotcom is hilarious.

I think between those two and Peter Jackson, they own most of the North Island. Kim Dotcom is behind what website? Pirate Bay. Pirate Bay. Pirate Bay. So on that tone, on people being annoyed at very famous people, when I was working at the video store and they were making Mission Impossible 2 in Sydney.

Yes. There was a day where my boss was so angry. He would just go, he'd come in and he'd go, they did it again. And I wasn't there. And I go, what's that? He goes,

all right, you tell me when those movie people come here. You tell me when those movie people come here. I was like, all right. I'll tell you when they're here. And one day, I can't remember if I've told you this before.

No. One day, what would happen was some runner would come in with a list, an American, and go, excuse me,

do you have these films? And they'd show you this list of six videos, and I'd have to run around and get them. Marley and me. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. And then they'd scoot off, they'd come back, scoot off, they'd come back, scoot off, they'd come back. Anyway. For who?

For Tom Cruise? No. One day, the list comes in, but they never return them on time, and they were always late, and they never paid the late fees, and my boss is getting angry and angry. He't care who they are next time they come in and they have a stack of dvds you tell them they're not going anywhere you know that's taken i was like all right no worries anyways me and another guy who ends up being maybe these are the other one anyway someone else and i were on that one day and this assistanty person was

there but then there was an older guy there with them was doing the picking and this assistanty person was there but then there was this older guy there with them was doing the picking and the assistant was sort of getting them and then asking us and I was like fuck I know

it's taking forever and they came up with like eight of the damn things and I was like oh fuck I'm going to have to do it and then we but the other guy was serving and while I was sort of

faring around and he's saying you can't take them I'm sorry there's $150 in late fees you have to pay them now and they go we'll sell it when we leave

no you'll sell it now and this older guy was just standing there like sort of looking at him like can we hurry this up please and then finally

they just they pay with a credit card and leave and the older guy was Robert Town the writer oh really

Chinatown yeah the guy who wrote Chinatown and wrote Mission Impossible 2 wow and my mate was just hassling him for $150

was that right that's Chinatown yeah That's Chinatown. Yeah, that's Chinatown. It was amazing. Wow. A friend of mine, Nicholas Bell, the actor, he was in Mission Impossible 2

and that was directed by John Woo. And we had met John Woo on Martin Malloy. He'd come in to promote Broken Arrow. Yes, what a movie. With Christian Slater. You're right, you're insane.

Yes. Ain't it cool? That was like his G-rated one. Where Ain't It Cool News got its name from. You're out of your mind. Yes, Ain't It Cool. That's where I got it down from. But he barely spoke English and I think we might have even had a translator, which is a great sound

on radio. But he did bow. I remember seeing him bow to the guy who worked in the carting room at Triple M. He was getting a bow. But then I, Nicholas Bell was on I remember seeing him bow to the guy who worked in the carting room at Triple M. But then Nicholas Bell was on Mission Impossible 2 for three weeks, and he was like the accountant. He was like the evil accountant. He was always transferring funds on a laptop.

And I said to – Ben Mendelsohn was very shitty. He missed out on the role of that probably. He's usually got one of those roles, hasn't he? He could have been fangy, eating a pie, putting sauce on a pie. Noah Taylor's good for that. Oh, yes, he is very much so. The other time, Tomb Raider comes on and I was like, you're right, I mix those two up. He's so good at fixing with wires.

Noah Taylor is amazing at fixing wires and looking flustered. And Noah Taylor's the bloke who chops Jamie Lannister's hand off... Yes, he is. ...in Game of Thrones. That's a good one for your resume. What about this one? You're like, in the movie Shine, doesn't he technically have more screen time than... I think he has more.

Yeah. But Geoffrey Rush won Best Actor. Yeah. But then again, Hannibal Lecter... Hannibal Lecter, yes. He's only in the film for like 25 minutes. Best Actor. Only trumped by Judi Dench with 11 in Shakespeare in Love.

Was that supporting? That was supporting, yes. Beatrice Strait won Best Supporting Actress for Network in 1976, and she's only in one scene. What? For like two minutes. Oh, really? But she's amazing.

But it's like, that's an Oscar winner. She'd want to be. But no. Imagine they cut the scene. The speech at the Oscars was longer than the scene in the film. Yeah to that's an oscar winner but no but nicholas imagine they cut the scene the speech at the oscars was longer than the scene in the film yeah that's good but i don't think i've told this just mendo i don't think i've told this on the show a friend of mine works at a jb hi-fi in sydney and you know mendo's back in town every now and then here we go my friend has this story where they're working at the counter and they just could like hear someone kind of talking around the

corner from that where they were and the store was like empty and they're like at the counter, and they just could hear someone kind of talking around the corner from where they were, and the store was empty, and they're like, who the fuck is this? So they go around, and it's Mendo walking around just having conversations with the covers of the DVDs. With his own films? I'm into that. I hope so. I'm into that.

Fuck you, idiot box. I am into that as a story. No, Nicholas Bell, so he's the computer guy, and I said, what direction did John Woo give you? And he said, and I'm not going to do a Chinese accent, but if you can imagine this in a Chinese accent. Audition for dirty dicks. This is what he said.

He just points at Nicholas and goes, you, points at the computer and goes, tap, tap, tap. Yes. All his direction. Well, I know someone who was in a Michael Bay film, tap tap yes all his direction well that's the I know someone who was in a Michael Bay film

and she said that she was in a scene and he was directing three scenes at once from a cherry picker exactly what you wanted to be doing

with the SUVs waiting underneath and they turn around and there's like an explosion going over here but her scene was like a

two handed talking scene and then Michael Bay is sort of watching it all on these monitors turns around and she said this is the only words she ever got spoken to by Michael Bay at all,

was he turns around, watches the scene, and then screams at her and the male actor she's in the scene with, be fucking sexier! Turns back around to his explosions. No worries. Because Michael Bay is the man who directs all of the Victoria's Secret commercials. He does, or used to. And have you ever seen a man more happier with his job?

Yeah. Behind the scenes. Well, that reminds me, that ties back to Thailand, where, now look, five, six, seven years ago. What time is it at this point? This is late at night. How many Vanders in are you? I'm high on sugar.

I'm watching Transformers. Go on. When I first started going like five, six, seven years ago, I remember meeting several people going, oh, Thailand's not the way, not what it used to be. And because it's the first time I've ever been, I'm like, this is the best. How could it ever be any better than this or whatever but now that i've been there

for quite a while you know every year for quite a while now i've now i'm the person when new people come in and go oh this is different because it used to be better it used to see all those shops there they used to be all the fake dvd shops but now you know piracy's hit the fake dvd shops in thailand now so now you can't go there and buy so what do those people do now I think because there's a different fashion maybe once every year or two years

where like those stores with the DVDs because that used to be the great thing anyone coming home from Bali or Thailand would come home

with like 50 new DVDs and it would be that lucky dip of like which ones didn't work and the artwork is like Marley and You just the names off

and we've got a redford in it instead like that's happening yeah yeah or you know you were going to get the real deal one that doesn't work or one that was filmed outside at a tie drive-in for somebody walking in front of the screen and stuff yeah so now they're gone so then it became those stores became uh dr dre beats headphone shops for quite a while then that became, those stores became Dr. Dre Beats headphone shops for quite a while. Then that became, I think, Nike sneakers had a big go. This year, fuck, what was this year? Fidget spinners, I remember going there one year.

Yeah. And they were really kicking off. It's a good, like, wanky photo montage. Yeah. You know, progress, question mark. Every year with a different, you know, see anything you like. It's a good time capsule because when we were doing Get This, that was 2006, 2007.

I remember that every month there was a guy that would pull up in the back alley with the boot of the car and the PA at the radio station would be Barry's in the back alley and you'd go down and the boot of the car would be open, the radio station will be Barry's in the back alley and you go down and the boo to the car will be open, DVDs and you know what it was? It was Underbelly.

Remember how it was banned in Victoria? That's right. Unblurred Underbelly and that's what he was selling. Incredible band in Victoria. Was it banned in one state? In Victoria. Just in Victoria.

Because Blue Murder was the opposite because you couldn't show Blue Murder in New South Wales and you couldn't show Under Victoria just in Victoria and then Blue Murder was the opposite because you couldn't show Blue Murder in New South Wales and you couldn't show Underbelly in Victoria and then when they did the and there's just people in

just on the Murray just like chucking them over chucking them over Aubrey Wodonga people genuinely did do that like just drive over the border into a sanity

into New South Wales just checking into just checking into a motel on the other side of Echuca and just watching a bit of Underbelly and a bit of Ostar. Ostar. I was on Ligon Street the other night and a guy, we were at a restaurant sitting outside and a guy came past with a little cart

and he had like these piles of these like little model Ferrari cars that were like, these have come off the back of a truck or something, just dodgy. But he was sort of doing it in the way of the cliche of the guy coming up to a couple at a restaurant, like, flower for the lady. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Model Ferrari for the beautiful lady. Oh, babe. Not bad, actually.

I was living in Brisbane in the mid-'80s, and I saw that thing you only ever see in a cartoon where a bloke opens his coat and there's watches in there. And a man in a coat in Brisbane. It was in Fortitude Valley, really hot. That's what would have stood out. The cops pulled him over for having a coat and got lucky. You know, Tony, it's in one of your stories.

Having said that, what are you supposed to do in Brisbane? Walk along and just pull your T-shirt up and you've got watches taped to your nipples instead. Yeah, and your origin jersey. So one of your stories from Lolliescramble, you know some things that you read, you can still remember a sort of a feeling of the place or whatever it is that they gave you. No one's ever described the heat in Brisbane as well as you have. I just remember that day. For that one where the video store and the cockroaches.

It was a 49-degree day. And we're on the balcony at night time, like a first floor balcony, and we're looking down. The ground is dark. And I're looking down the ground is dark and I'm going the ground is moving and then we switch on the light and it's all cockroaches

but I remember everyone it was so hot 49 degrees and Brisbane 49 degrees is hotter than Melbourne 49 degrees and everyone was just going to cinemas

and it was Fletch was the movie on that day and there was people standing room only in Fletch just to stay on that day. And there was people standing room only in Fletch. Just to stay cool. That's awesome. And good film too.

Not Fletch Lives, Fletch. Fletch. The movie studio just getting this huge spike in numbers in Brisbane, Australia. I'm telling you, I think that was one of Yahoo! series' great skills. Yahoo! series' movies used to come out at Christmas. So it was hot as buggery. And I remember as a kid, I saw them all because it was air-conditioned.

And they had ice cream. But there's only three, isn't there? Three in a row, basically. Yeah, right. I remember being on the Gold Coast and then in Brisbane and now that I remember reading that story, I think, fuck, man, that's... What a competitive advantage. Because there was Young Einstein, there was Reckless Kelly,

there was Mr. Accident, but then there was a rumour about ten years ago that he was working on a serious film about the Kokoda Trail. But then, I know, but you're going, wouldn't it have been great if it had had, like, Mentalist Anything song?

And it ends up being called Gary Gallipoli. My mum said to me once, in the context of talking about this pod, she said I went to... I was good friends at school with a girl who ended up marrying Yahoo! Sirius, so I could try and track

her down and ask her to get him on the podcast sometime if you want. Isn't it the woman who was in his films, whose name is Lulu Pincus? I don't know. Who was an actress who was in quite a few films in like the 70s and 80s? It's quite a coup.

Like, you know, anyone who's made films that have done well at the box office has a story to tell. Oh, yeah. You know, they have a... She might have changed her name to Sirius, of course, so she might be a serious actress. If only we had to phone

the white pages we could pick up serious why that'll be him no i'm eugenie serious i get this all the time this happens all the time we could do cinema month on this podcast where we get yahoo serious in we get nickki g in here wow well you sort of got them all here because he's here because tony's here you've basically got most of cinema covered yeah yeah that's right no yahoo serious i read an article about him the other day he people have been looking for him for years and he popped up at a some sort of anniversary of of um young einstein and he was didn't have the didn't didn't have the trademark hair anymore, but was a bit, not broken. I think broken is too strong of a word, but was not very.

Wacky? No. Yeah. But he never shows up in anything else. Yeah. Like he's not like, you know, a guest in a sitcom or a cameo in something or a Good News Week. Good News Week? You're right. He never turns up in Good News Week. Good News Week? Good News Week?

You're right. He never turns up in Good News Week anymore. No, but over the years he's never been in anything but those three films. He's a purist. Yeah, he's a purist.

He's like talking about your generation would have been trying to get into something. No, you're right. I bet you they would have. If anyone's worked on that I bet you they would have.

He's the Australian version of that guy from The Godfather and Dog Day Afternoon. Oh, John Cazart. John Cazart, yeah, yeah. The greatest resume in movie history. Only made five films, all nominated for Best Film at the Oscars.

Yahoo! Series is our, that guy. There's more jokes in Dog Day Afternoon. Anyway, this is too niche, but I recently re-watched it and I was like, I love it. It's great. Yeah, it's really great. What a movie, Jesus Christ. Anyway.

Can I just quickly call the loop back to what you were saying before about Thailand and how it's changed in the time you've been going I just thought of this as you were saying that

so you know how like in Vegas there's people who talk about like nah you gotta go to the old you don't go stay on the main strip you go to the old Vegas

what if you go to Koh Samui and you start the old Koh Samui strip and then you're just posted up at Chewang Beach like if you if you go to Koh Samui and you start the old Koh Samui strip and then you're just posted up at Chiwang Beach like if you want

the real authentic Koh Samui you've got to come down the street I have started to do that already because Chiwang Beach is like the touristy

beach and that's where everyone goes and I've started to go there and go not for me anymore I've got to go to and I have to sort of go up north

and go to places that don't have Hooters there anymore it is the same it's turning into the Vegas strip we're talking about and go to places that don't have Hooters there anymore. Yeah. It is the same. It's turning into the Vegas Strip. Yeah, yeah. We're talking about things that don't exist anymore.

Am I remembering this wrong, or was there a chain of shops called Chandler's? Yes, electrical shops. Yes, absolutely there was. And particularly in Queensland, because I remember on that trip when we went to Gunnedah, by the time we got to Queensland, On that trip when we went to Gunnedah, by the time we got to Queensland and Dad didn't lose the Holden vacationer on the way to Queensland

and go to the wrong state, we were fascinated. Every time we went past the Chandlers, it was like, ah, that's our shop. So we said that that was a good part of the holidays. Yeah, great times. You're good for that stuff when you're a kid. Yeah, totally. It gets old. But just to make Ed happy, back to Thailand again.

Please. Were we talking about Thailand? Yeah, I think we were. Someone mentioned it. I was, because now I'm at the stage of, oh, it's not as good as it used to be, in the glory days of 2012. Oh, yeah.

Goodness, yeah. Back in peak Thailand. The early days. Yeah. I took my parents over, because they'd never travelled. I took them to Thailand about 3 or 4 years ago and they back to the old country

back to meet the Cavaliers they had a different diary every day to me like I'm out there I'm not really finding new friends apart from people that are serving me chicken absolutely i'm just doing i'm just ordering as many meals as i can whereas my parents are making friends with anyone that walked near them on the beach anyone that was

in the pool yeah the hotel staff whatever so they made some great friends yeah now they would they told me a great story where they were talking to some australians that were like oh we've been coming to kosamui for 30 years we've We've been here forever and these are the changes and it's not as good as it used to be but it's still good and all this sort of stuff. And so they're telling me these great stories where, oh, we met these guys in the pool today where, you know, when they first flew to Koh Samui, this is how things change.

They were on a plane coming to Koh Samui where there were no seats on the plane. They had to bring their own fold-up seats on the plane. And so they brought them onto the plane, sat on the fold-up seats, and there'd be a bit of turbulence and they'd be sliding all over the plane and all this other stuff. And I'm going, that's amazing. And I was telling people.

And then one day I looked it up and it's like, the Koh Samui airport has existed for about 15 years. So that didn't happen at all. That's made up. That's a completely made up story. No chance. No time from there. That's good though.

Fold up chairs, bring your own oxygen mask. But my father-in-law, who is Bali, is his affection. And he had, you know, they have been going for 30 years

or something like that. And he used to do this thing, which I love, where there was only, there's a place called Nusa Dua where he likes to go and surf. And there was only one hotel in Nusa Dua. And so they would stay there.

Every year they would get there. And every year they would get there and they would ask for the same room. And they would be like, oh, hello, you know, Mr. Hall, welcome back. Yep, same room, no dramas. And the reason that they would ask for the same room is that my father-in-law got sick of having to ferry things back from Australia. And he's a very capable and handy man. And he got to the point where he was hiding surfboards in the manhole

above this room, wetsuits, surfboards, kettles and all this stuff. And so they'd be like, great, room 106 again. Okay, thanks very much, guys. Get the boards. And then he'd pull all this shit down from the roof. That is unbelievable. Yeah, he's a champ. I love it. He's a resourceful individual, my father-in-law. Hiding kettles

up there. Yeah, I'm a moment-lighter kettle. That is another Australian hiding things in wetsuits in Bali. That's amazing. You're right, actually. That's a nice version of it. Big shout-out to the cook. No, can't even say the first part of the name because they

will sue us. Oh, goodness, yes. Because someone staying in one of their rooms, 15 kettles

fell through the ceiling. That's a good tip, pro tip if you're travelling, stash stuff. Why haven't I done that?

I'm thinking for you. If you're staying in the same hotel the whole, all the time, stash a few luxury items. Don't surf. But all I'm thinking for you. Yeah. If you're staying in the same hotel the whole, all the time, stash a few luxury items. But what are you... Don't surf.

But all I'm stashing is like meals that I haven't finished from the trip before. Stash all the dum-dum merch. That's a good idea. That's a good point. As Alan Partridge would say, now you're being interesting. All right, we'd better wrap it up there for another week. Ed and Tony, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you for having us.

Yes. Things to plug. Tony's podcast. Sizzle Town is still available. And, of course, Team Effort. Yeah. Ed and myself are on. So, Tony, any truth to the rumours that the owner of the Seven Arms Hotel's comedy night,

Dave Clacton, is there any truth to the rumours that he might be being heard more in another time? He's very popular. People are... This is someone

who rings up on... Yeah, he claims to be... You run a number of comedy nights. He runs a comedy... He runs a comedy night. ...called The Busted Nut at the Seven Arms Hotel in Upper Fuckall Road in Rosanna.

I think I did a few open mics there. With Mike Todger. Yeah, what's he doing at the moment? Oh, it's because of the usual day goes, his latest line-up. Oh, right, right. It's all just variations. It's all beeped. Yeah, there's a lot of beeping going on.

Because we obviously don't have time to go into Woggate and ownership of the word Wog. Well, also, because it is officially in the courts. But we floated a theory on Team Effort because I had Googled the usual day goes because no one believed me that there was really a show called that. Oh, there is? There is, yeah, George Capianaris. And, you know, when you go to Google Images,

there'll be like 20 variations of the same artwork. Yep. And there was one that had born to be wogs but when you clicked on it it turned into the when it went larger it went to the usual dagos and we went oh they must have got a call from nick giannopoulos that's exactly what's happened they did wow and it's so funny on the story on yeah on current affair when they've got a guy one of the people from The Usual Day, and he's going, yeah, well, it was called Born to Be Wogs.

And what is it now called? The Usual Day Goers. That's so funny. So that's The Usual Suspects turned Crowbarred into The Usual Wogs. There's no finesse there at all. No, no, no, no, no. You've made a leap. So Born to Be Wogs, as Nick Giannopoulos has it,

is a breach of his trademark of the use of the word wog. Because he owns the word wogs. Yeah. Right. So then they've had to change it, and they've changed it to the usual day goes to avoid the wog thing. Yes, but that's still a play. So I imagine the poster is the usual suspects.

Yes, but what's weird is that when it was called Born to Be Wogs, it was still the police line-up a la the usual suspects. Yeah, very strange. So they kind of got lucky. Exactly. Yeah, that's just like he's corrected them. They should be thanking him. Mate, this poster made no fucking sense

until we got the letter from Nick and his lawyers. That's actually just good art direction. You're right. If anything, you're right. He can get a job at Mad Magazine

and they're parodying him. He's like, nah, you got it all wrong. Funny. Funny. But anyway, sorry. We've got all the attention. Plugs team Everett.

I don't know. Just, I don't know. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's all in our wheelhouse. That's a lot of people. No, no, no. I want to plug things that I like on YouTube. yeah well that's all that's all in our wheelhouse that's um a lot of people no no

I want to plug things that I like on YouTube how's that alright yeah okay I'm going to plug the first video I ever saw on YouTube

which was shown to me in the Get This offices by Angus Sampson he's a game to play with everyone who's listening at the moment I know you meant to talk to one person

because podcast is singular so to you dear listener if you could try and remember maybe link it into whatever we link to uh the first if you can remember the first video that you ever watched on youtube for me it was angus sampson who said uh do you guys know what um youtube is and then tony and i said no we don't know and we went over to the computer at my desk

and he said well it's um it's clips uh this is over to the computer at my desk, and he said, well, it's clips. This is the best one on there at the moment. And he put in, you can still put this in, Little Superstar. And I'll leave it with that. And it's a dance routine by someone called Little Superstar. Great. I'm sure it's problematic content now, but that is absolutely what. So that's a game for everyone to play.

Does anyone else remember the first video? I think the first one that was on the show? I think the first one I saw was an episode of Yacht Rock, which is like the first web series, or the first one anyone remembers. Which is... Do you know what Yacht Rock is? It rings a bell now.

Michael McIntyre. It was like a homemade web series where everyone who was involved in late 70s smooth music, a la Steely Dan, a la Michael McDonald, Hall & Oates, all live in the same street together. Oh, right. Funny idea. It's really well done.

I've got a strong feeling. The memorable thing I remember is the Arnold Schwarzenegger prank calls. Yes. Because the second one I ever watched, which you should also watch, is after we finished that and I was like,

this is unbelievable. Angus is like, you'll like this as well then. And he went, Arnold Schwarzenegger in Rio. It's a documentary made by Arnold Schwarzenegger in the late 70s,

early 80s where he goes to Carnivale, Rio for Carnivale. Problematic content. Get him, get it before it goes. You know who showed me that clip? Ed Cavill in the offices of TV Berth.

I would have loved that because I loved it. How good is it? I remember Standing Cat. It's a cat that's trying to see through a window so it's standing on its tiptoes. It's still great. This has just turned into we're pulling bombs on a stage.

Yeah, I know. Very quickly, I just want to say, we were watching clips about it, you know when people would take the clips of Arnold Schwarzenegger dialogue from movies and then prank for movies? Yeah. Then that turned into us finding a site where you could, what would you call those sites where you could just hit the button?

Soundboard. Soundboard, a soundboard of Arnold Schwarzenegger quotes and then this is us working at the AFL when I was working at the AFL so that became two to

three days of us ringing everyone in the office of the AFL and just pretending to be Arnold Schwarzenegger and like we had

a very generous boss with the time and it became two to three days of it and it was just a nightmare no one got anything

done and someone had to like at the last minute sort of go we can't do this anymore. There had to be a memo to go around the office. Can we all stop pretending to be Arnold Schwarzenegger, especially to the older people in the office that don't really know the references?

Apparently a freeze is coming. Which chopper? Which chopper am I meant to get to? Where are we going? Yeah, it's like the AFL record didn't come out that week because someone had a

tumour apparently. Alright, we've got to wrap it up there guys. Thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time.

See you mates. And they've done it again. True. That's a true word you've never said. You've never

said anything truer than that. You've been lying to me for such a long time In comparison to that Yep, it felt good to finally come clean And speak my truth Man, you up to the lies detector right now It's, I'm just checking

And I've never seen a truer straight line If that indeed is what happens when you say something true Well, I could have a pin in my shoe And I could be poking myself in the toe to simulate. No, wait. What do you do? You do that as the control. So you elevate.

You cause yourself pain when they test you. Whatever. Good episode. Yeah. They've done it again. Yeah, good to have those guys back in. What a treat for people that are into Get This, of which there are plenty of people that got on board early on

that liked Get This, the old radio show, with those two fine gentlemen on it. Good to have a tiny little reunion of that, even though they do do episodes of team effort as well anyway. But yeah, fun shit. Very nice of those two men to lend their time to us. Yes. They've got better shit to do than fuck around at your apartment.

But on that day, they didn't. Yep. What have we got to plug? We've got the 500th episode on sale. Come and check that out. April the 25th, 2020 at the Athenaeum Theatre. Huge, huge show. Biggest show we've ever done.

Thousand seat theatre. Yep. Get into that. Tickets still moving for that. I believe then we have, just before that, we have our two warm-up shows, as it were, in Melbourne. And that is what, on the... April 4 and 11.

April 4 and 11 on Saturday afternoon. All those things are on sale at littledonaldonclub.com, including, this is all Melbourne-centric at the moment, but both of our solo shows, our stand-up solo shows are on sale there as well. So please grab some early tickets to that. And that's officially on sale. Down the pipeline there is a couple of other little shows that hopefully will be announced very soon.

Check out the socials in case they pop up there first. But we are looking at going to a couple of other cities, I believe. Yeah, a couple of things in the pipeline. You can also support the show on Patreon if that is something that you would like to do. Just before we do that, look, I'm keen to not do as long of a talking dum-dum tonight. But what I did do today on the way here is on Instagram, I put a shout-out for – I said, is there anything that we should be covering?

Is there anything that we have ignored? Is there anything that we should be following up? So I just thought I'd mention some some maybe one or two of those okay um so okay here we go a bunch of requests for cancer corner cancer corner segment yep um so maybe we should do that very quickly could we do that sure can i have a question yep um fuck now i've got to think of a question someone did send me a question the other day and I was like, fuck, that's a fucking good question. Oh, yeah.

I think I know what you're talking about. Someone put it in a thread in the Patreon Facebook group. Oh, did they? I'll see if I can find it. Okay. I thought maybe it was someone sent me a private message. Oh, really? I'm not asking, but I might be completely wrong there i can't remember

um but instead of that maybe i'll just think of a question right now um my question for you about cancer about when you had cancer was did how did you know you had cancer actually um what was the timeline i got i had a thing before it i had a type of hepatitis before it i got very sick with that and then i got better from that and then not long after that i they i got diagnosed with the cancer but i can't remember what the thing was in between those two things that tipped them off. I think it was just like getting, because you're low on like red cells and platelets and stuff. So I think it was like, first of all, just being tired all the time.

Like just coming home from school and being absolutely wiped. So it was just like enough of a, and I mean, I don't remember this, but it was like enough of a change in behavior because I was 10 for my parents to go, hey, this seems like something's up right yeah and i but i wasn't like oh i feel sick something's wrong it was just me remarking like oh i'm really tired at like four in the afternoon you weren't like really itchy and they're like fuck that's cancer or something like there wasn't some weird like big lump on your

arm and you're like that's jack the dancer right. And also, I'm pretty sure that's a question that you've maybe asked on Cancer Corner before and I've given a more in-depth and considered answer when we haven't been doing this at basically one in the morning. Yeah. Okay, well, maybe if I ask it again right now, we can really get to the bottom. Yeah. Get me when I'm so tired that there's no filter on

and it's just pure truth. That's fine. I can ask the same question again as long as you give a different answer. We could do that every week. Is this you trying to catch me out as having lied about having cancer? There's a lot of it going around at the moment.

All right. Well, maybe I'll be more considered next time. Here's another question aimed at you instead. All right. Well, you'll be wishing that we're on Cancer Corner. Well, someone said Tommy's Art Exhibition, which I've been asking you to talk about for a long time. No, we just did an ep and I was going to talk about it,

but people will find out next week why we couldn't go into it. Look, and I understand that, to be honest. It wasn't the right setup for it this week. Next week, I should say. Yep. All right. Now, a few were asking about Cancer Corner. Here's one that we can answer, I think.

Can you ask if Tommy's been having intercourse with any stunners? Need to know. Thanks. Is this from Carl in Hawthorne? No, it's from... Do you want to know who it's from? Sure. It's an Instagram account called...

Well, his name's... His name's Sam B. And I've just checked on his account, on the front page of his account on Instagram. And his name's Sam B and I've just checked on his on his account on the front page of his account on Instagram and his name's Sam B he's on a

dirt bike doing a mono in the picture and the bit of detail below Sam B is it just says followed by

the cum collection so yep which is actually Cumtown's merch account ah of course. Right.

But it just looks funny though. Yes, that question again in case you've forgotten. Yep. I want to know if Tommy's been having intercourse with any stunners. Need to know.

Thanks. I've not been having any intercourse, Sam. And if I had been, I wouldn't be telling you because it's none of your fucking business. Whoa. That's not cool.

Be a bit nice to him. And, you know, we share a lot on this show. So you're allowed to say if you've been having relations with any particularly attractive people? Mm-hmm. But you haven't. I know I'm allowed to say that. No, you said you haven't been. Yeah, I haven't. I know I'm allowed to say that. No, you said you haven't been. Yeah, I haven't been.

Okay, so if there's anyone out there that's been having sex with Tommy Daslow lately, just know that he doesn't think you're a stunner. You're a fucking piece of work. You're a fucking piece of work. Well, that's what you just said. That's what you just said. I'm only following up on what you're saying, on what he said, and you're saying. Yep.

I have no stake in any of this. I haven't put my opinion in there. I've just relayed what he said and what you've said. Okay? I'm the guy in the... I'm stuck in the middle. Yep. Don't shoot the messenger.

I'm not shooting the messenger. Well, that was... My version of shooting the messenger is being called a piece of work like that. That was... I said, hey, a piece of work can be great. You could be the Mona Lisa. Oh, okay. I'm impressed. I'm impressed at, a piece of work can be great. You could be the Mona Lisa. Oh, okay. I'm impressed.

I'm impressed at the gymnastics that you pulled off there. I was translating. There was no gymnastics. I was hearing one thing and translating it into normal language. So is that all we've got? Yeah, that's all we've got. Okay, all right. So that's been confirmed, how I translated it to be right.

Is that right? Which is what? I don't want to fucking talk about this. All right. Okay, right. We found Tommy's weak spot. So more questions about that, guys. One of my many weak spots is not wanting to talk about that avenue of my life until I'm good and ready oh okay oh well when are you good and ready well i'll decide that okay

you'll know when i'm good and ready fuck i'd love to get the countdown you know i bet you would i'm saying i would you don't have to put a bet on it oh god it's always fucking something with you it never ends with me i'm. That's a listener's question. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, man. Yeah, yeah. Okay, let's roll it on. What other questions have you got in your little fucking magic bag of tricks?

Mate, none from me. Again, it's blame fucking, what's his name? Sam B, all right? And he's motocross way. Yeah. I feel like you're very aggressive towards me. All I'm doing is answering the fans. Well, that's covered all the questions.

Okay. That's the only questions you got. I told you. There's Tommy's art exhibition. That's 100% of the questions that came through. That's Tommy's art exhibition. It's literally that the questions that came through That's Tommy's art exhibition It's literally that Okay, don't snap at me

I'm just questioning I'm just asking what messages you got You don't have to fly off the handle I'm not snapping I've got a smile on my face the whole time That's not snapping I'm laughing I'm having a great old time

I'm literally going through all the messages And that's all there is Art exhibition, Cancer Corner Someone Well, look You know what? I'm literally going through all the messages and that's all there is. Art exhibition, Cancer Corner. Wow. Look, you know what? You caught me out. There is someone asking if I can talk about Liverpool being 14 points ahead of Manchester City, which is my weak spot.

I don't want to talk about that. Okay. Really? You talk about it all the time. It's a little bit personal. You post in the Facebook group about once a day about Liverpool. It's a bit personal. I don't want to talk about that. Oh, okay. Really? You talk about it all the time. It's a little bit personal. You post in the Facebook group about once a day about Liverpool. It's a bit personal. I don't want to talk about it.

But you've talked about it constantly. I don't. I don't. We did basically a whole trip to another country so that you could talk about it. I think you've read that the wrong way. No, I think that's literally what happened. And I think that when I want to talk about that, I will. Okay.

Right. Cool. Well, I respect that then. But at the moment, I don't want to talk about it. You don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about Liverpool being 14 points up on Manchester City. Okay. Cool. Well, I respect that then. But at the moment, I don't want to talk about it. You don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about Liverpool being 14 points up on Manchester City. Okay. All right?

Well, I don't want to talk about having sex with beautiful women. I don't want you to either. If it was up to me, you would never talk about beautiful women and you having sex with them. That's an absolute lie. You know it. It's motocross fanatics that want to know. So you're going to sit here and say that there is absolutely no alignment between

your wishes and the wishes of Sam the motocross fanatic. Absolutely no alignment whatsoever. Do you think I'm writing for Sam the motocross rider? You're accusing me of that. I think you absolutely are. I'm not! Look! You can look at the message. I'm not saying you're writing for him i'm saying

that it's a convenient circumstance that his question happens to you closely align with something that you also would like to know otherwise you wouldn't have brought it up you you man that tin hat is tinfoil hat is slipping off your head tommy that's low because you are too deep into this conspiracy hat slipping off meaning that I'm of sound rational mind because I'm not wearing a tinfoil hat. Look, whatever makes you happy, but I didn't mean that. I didn't mean that at all. I meant the opposite of that.

Oh, okay. You meant the opposite. That I'm a conspiracy nut. Yes. So you don't want to hear – well, if you don't want to hear about that avenue of my life, why did you read out the question? Because that's – my duty is okay listeners are asking okay listeners it's right there it's my if i was to that's a form of censorship if i

don't ask you that yeah that's fair okay yeah yeah and as you know if you know one thing about me tommy does slow it's i'm for free speech. Okay. Well, I'll answer this one. Within the last year, I have had intercourse with a beautiful woman. Oh, wow. Yeah. Nice. Well, you got your wish there, Sam B. There you go. Your question's been answered.

You know, not something I really want to hear about, but I was willing to take one for the team. Very big of you. Yeah. You're a real sport. You've got to... Thank you for having to listen to what I just said about having sex with, I'm going to say it,

multiple beautiful women inside the last 12 months. Well... Sorry for subjecting you to that. God. Sorry that you had to put up with hearing something so profane and just objectionable. I don't know why we're still talking about it. You said one, and then you're like, no, hang on.

There's more of them now. I'm like, God, Jesus. Can we get off the subject? Yeah, yeah. Well, hey, if that's what you want, I'm happy to keep talking about it, but now you won me over. I feel bad about Sam the motocross fanatic putting his dick in the exhaust pipe. I felt like I had to give him the due diligence of giving him a good answer.

And now all of a sudden you're saying you don't want to hear about it. I'm just trying to, no, but I'm just trying to talk to him and give him the answer that he wants. I appreciate that. Yeah. I'm just saying I'm taking one for the team

by having to be in the middle and having to hear something I don't want to hear. Yeah. Yeah. So if you're doing that for him, good. But I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it to answer him. Great.

Well, if you can do me a favor at this point and just knock it off from now on yeah all right okay sure no more no more no more beautiful women no more beautiful women no more having sex with beautiful women yeah yeah actually don't even do the deed itself not tonight well well i mean if we'd wrap this up sooner i probably could have i did have a standing arrangement, but... Oh, wow. There's so much information coming in. Oh, God. Sam B., I hope you're happy with yourself.

You're a real fucking Woodward. One man Woodward and Bernstein here. You're real deep throat, as it were. Yeah. All the president's women more like it instead of men. Yeah. All the president's beautiful women. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. There is one more question. No, there's not. Oh. I just thought I'd see what would happen if I said that. Well, you heard. You got a groan. Yeah, I found out.

All right. Okay, well, as much as Tommy wants to talk about this more and more, I guess we've done that segment for tonight. Well, I'm holding back for your benefit. For my own sake. Because you're visibly repulsed. I really am. Your face is green.

Yeah. And your cheeks are all puffed up, storing in spew. Oh, really? They're not spew. Oh, I brought green. So I thought you were saying I was green with envy. But now I'm just ill. I think that's also true.

But yeah. Maybe I have... I'm just ill. I think that's also true, but yeah. Maybe I have... I'm not envious. I'm happy for you, for whatever's happening in your life. Thank you. Yeah. Doesn't always feel that way, but thank you. Well, that's the way it is.

Cool. That's good to know. I'll file that away. Your radar's way off there, buddy. Very happy. Like I said, I just don't want to hear about all these beautiful women. Why don't you want to hear about them, though? Just not for me.

If you're happy for me, it should bring you joy to hear about your friend having a bevy of just... Oh, wow. There's a bevy now. A bevy of 11 out of 10s. Wow. God. Geez. For someone very tight-lipped to start with, I've never seen looser lips.

Well, you know, I don't like to be blindsided. So I was caught off guard by the uncouth nature of just a listener of a product thinking that they have any kind of right into the inner mechanics of my private life. But now that I've had some time to sit with the question, you know, I've come around to it. Right. Okay. So you'd be happy if more people ask this question in the mailbag from now on? Is that what you're saying? As long as I was provided with the questions in advance.

Oh, really? So I could formulate my answer. Instead of this fucking gotcha journalism that my co-host is such a fan of playing. The foot in the sexual door, so to speak. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, okay.

This is what people need to do from now on. Oh, my God. Send messages warning of the subject of sexual dealings, and then a week later send the actual question. What? No, because I'm saying you tell me that you're planning to ask me that. I've got to vet the questions. Yeah. Through you. Yeah. I want to know that that's

coming up. I don't want to be fucking sandbagged. Well, it's not sandbagged. It's just a simple question. You can say yes, no, or no comment. Oh, I could say no comment, could I? You'd really let no comment fly. Well, there'd be something to talk about off the back of it. Yeah, sure. It's all good.

God, wow. The hottest topic yet on this show. Mmm, spicy stuff. All right. Now, well, if you can stop banging on about all the fucking rooting you're doing for one second, we do have another duty for the listeners, which is to read out some of their names. Yep. Some of which may be beautiful and may be future conquests of you.

Oh, okay. Let's speculate on whether we think they're beautiful or not. We have a bit where we read out Patreon subscriber names, because if you chip in every week, or every month, really, you get a bonus episode, you get a bonus magazine, and you get the chance to be immortalized. I mean, speaking of, if you do check the fine print on the chance to be immortalized I mean speaking of there is a if you do check the fine print on the Patreon page

patreon.com slash little dum-dum club there is a chance if you put in enough that you can have sex with both of us oh yeah I forgot about that so

and there's also if you put in enough you can have sex with just one yes if you put in extra you don't have to bang both of us yeah

okay so in case that is... Have you talked about that with your wife, by the way? No. No, I haven't done that. Who would your hall pass be? Well, whoever subscribes to this amount to my Patreon. Whoever listens to this show and has a lot of money.

All right. It is getting late. Fucking hell. I feel like we say this every week. Are we recording this late every week from now on? I'm always tired doing this bit. Yeah, we need it. Well, also, we either need to start doing it earlier or stop talking about it being late and being tired.

Yes, I agree. I'm just going to fucking power through. I'm the most awake I've ever been, actually. I'm going to overwhelm the negative little tiny bit I did then and just really arc myself up now. Man, this is my favorite segment of the show, and I hope it goes forever. I'm coming into my fifth hour of podcasting today, and I could not feel more alert. Yeah. I have ignored several texts from my wife saying, the baby's not sleeping.

When are you coming home? But I'm doing this for you, the listener. Let's go. First cabber off the rank this week, Patreon subscriber. Thank you very much to Siobhan O'Sullivan. Ooh. Long time subscriber of the show.

And so much so that a friend of hers has at some stage messaged to say, when is she coming up? Of course, that didn't influence the unplanned title alternator in any way. It's just a funny little coincidence. So this isn't so much, is this the squeaky, does it count as the squeaky wheel getting the grease if the squeaky wheel's friend had to go to the grease can and be like,

how about some of that grease for the squeaky wheel over there? Yeah, there was a squeaky wheel that squeakedaked and I was about to oil that one and went, actually, that other silent wheel could do with more grease. Yeah, I see. Oh, okay. I see. I would argue that the silent wheel, in a weird way, more deserving of the grease. Sure.

It's a better wheel. It's a more hassle-free wheel. Yes. That's one of the nicest things we've said about a listener of the show, hassle-free. Hassle-free wheel. Yes. That's one of the nicest things we've said about a listener on the show. Hassle-free. Hassle-free wheel. You can't say that

about too many of our listeners. That's a good point. So thank you very much. But also she is, she's been to a Koh Samui International Podcast Festival. So extra points for her. Remember that festival

we used to do? Yeah, vaguely. Man, what points for her. Remember that festival we used to do? Yeah, vaguely. Man, what a great time. If only we could go back. But, yeah. Did I say that? When I went there recently, when I went back to Samui in the last month or whenever that was, they...

Fuck, I've actually not replied to their email. They were like, we want to set up a meeting to talk about coming back and whatever. And I just didn't reply. While you were there? Yeah. Just didn't reply. I think they may have gotten the message if you haven't replied to the email from a month ago. But that is rude.

I just want to officially reply. But yeah, they did upgrade me when I was there. The first time ever. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Trying to curry favor. Yeah. Yeah. But then I got the upgrade, which I didn't ask for. me when i was there the first time ever oh yeah yeah yeah trying to carry favor yeah but then

i got the upgrade which i didn't ask for they just they just came over and uh found me and said oh what room did you are you staying in i was like the same room i always they you always put me in it's facing like some shit you know garden or whatever and oh oh we'll put you in a really good one i'm like someone wants something and then i did my best to not see any staff members at the ozo for the rest of my trip and just avoid them so i didn't have to have a meeting oh okay and break the bad news to him and then maybe get downgraded yeah well i felt a bit guilty because it's like all right well you you know you're putting me in a nicer room but i'm not gonna have the answer that you want but then i didn't feel

guilty because i'm like well you know they got a lot of money off our little festival over the last three years yeah and they didn't upgrade us or anything like that no then no so it's really what what i deserved after this time yeah. Yeah. But, yeah. But Siobhan went to one of them, I believe. Okay. Maybe the second one, I think. Which was the biggest one. Yeah.

Good times? Good times at the second one. Yeah. What was your favourite out of the three? Three. Number three? You liked number three the best? Yep.

You just thought it was better? Better people? Better shows? Are you asking me which one like number three the best? Yep. You just thought it was a better people, better shows? Are you asking me which one I thought was the best or which one I had the better time at? Oh, is there a difference? Yeah, I mean, you can think something's, you know, you can have a night at your comedy room where you go, this was the best show, but maybe for whatever personal reason

you didn't have the best time while you were there running it. Okay. Well, then, yes. Tell me both answers. Hmm. I think probably – actually, no, it is hard to answer. I actually do think three probably was the best one, but they all have their own unique things that make them good.

Yeah. It's like a – yeah. It's like a trilogy of – first one was great because it was exciting because it was like i can't believe we've done this second one was great because it then grew crazy it was like matt like everyone then realized oh fuck they're actually doing this and then it was heaps bigger so then it was like great because it was exciting because it was a really big deal hundreds and hundreds of people there and then the third one maybe we were maybe relaxed the most third one there's enough infrastructure because there'd been enough

different stuff between two and one yeah that it was kind of like like where the stage wasn't everything it was like having to start from scratch. Not as much assumed knowledge. Whereas by three, it's like, cool, we get all this. I would say maybe just in terms of objectively, which was the best, maybe the second one, because Gareth was there. And that's very exciting and it's really big.

But then I can also understand the argument that as a punter, maybe there being more people there, to some people, doesn't make it as good. Yeah. Makes it a little less good. So I think probably three. I certainly had the best time at three. Yeah.

For a variety of reasons. Three was more relaxing, I think. I think we had it under control enough that during the day, it wasn't us just constantly going, what the fuck are we doing? I still felt a bit of that just because it's great. Well, of course. But, yeah. Of course, but it was the least like that. Not to the same extent, yeah.

It was the least like that. Yeah. Thanks, Siobhan. Thanks, Siobhan. And thanks to your friend for squeaking. No, you've got to thank the... Yeah, she should thank the friend. I wonder if she'll just know immediately which friend that is.

Oh. I think the friend, without going back into my archives, the friend was someone who's been, I think the friend was like, yeah, if you could read her out, because I've already been read out twice. Great. Yep. Fair. You should not be squeaking at all.

You've been oiled twice. Yep. Thanks, Siobhan. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Lachlan Russell. Hmm. Do you think he's beautiful? That does sound like a beautiful name. I'm picturing just like, I'm picturing a younger man, early 20s, long flowing hair.

That's what I was going to say. Long, beautiful conditions a lot. I was going to say wavy, beautiful conditions a lot. I was going to say wavy. Beautiful mane. Long wavy. A long mane. Long wavy hair. Yeah.

A little bit, maybe a bit of a, oh, God, I mean, this sounds bad, but maybe like a shell or a shark tooth neckline is a bit surfy or something. Ooh, yeah, yeah. That's a... I'm getting that vibe. Maybe not that strong. Maybe some sort of like bead. Yeah, yeah. Beads or something. I getting that vibe. Maybe not that strong. Maybe some sort of like bead. Yeah, yeah.

Beads or something. I don't know. Spends a lot of time down the Great Ocean Road hitting the waves. Very much so. Very much so. Yeah, yeah.

Bell's Beach action. Yeah. You know, nothing wrong with any of that. It's just very far away from my life. But the thing that's funny is that him,

if that is indeed his lifestyle, being into this podcast seems to be in direct conflict of, you know, just this chilled out surfer dude. Yeah, but like anyone that listens to this podcast, I'm like, if I see the details of anyone I go, why the fuck are you listening to this? Yeah, true, true. There's so many, I don't even, what do you think is the ideal listener of a podcast or this podcast? The ideal listener or the textbook?

Yes, the textbook. 23, no. 26, live at home, unemployed. Right. Okay. Yeah. Fair enough. Yeah, but I just...

Yeah, God. There's so many examples. There's so many people where I'm like, fair enough. Yeah, but I just, yeah, God. There's so many examples. There's so many people where I'm like, fucking hell. I just am so surprised at everyone that does it. Yeah. Just, you know what? Even, this might sound dumb, but there's so many parents that listen to this. Yes.

As soon as that happens, I'm like, why the fuck? You've got a child. Why would you listen to this? Well, that makes a lot of sense to me because it's like, depending on what age your kids are you a lot of your life is like dora the explorer and the wiggles and stuff so i certainly can understand like oh this is just like a nice blast of like some fully pure adult content yeah i can kind of understand it from that mentality a little bit yeah sure i don't know but you know yeah anyone who listens to this it's obviously we feel very blessed absolutely very touched absolutely decides to take this up as a

quote-unquote hobby especially i keep thinking about this that we should make a bigger deal about this but you know if you like it maybe it seems obvious but if you like it you know tell your friends send it to your friends if you've got friends that listen to the podcast, recommend this. You know, we can't hire billboards and stuff like that. We can't. There's no really good advertising to get more people to listen to a podcast, really. Unless you've got heaps and heaps of advertising, you're with some sort of maybe a big name host or something like that.

There's no real way of doing it apart from word of mouth and that sort of thing. So, yeah, I think we've said this before, but if you pass on to your mates and they get into it, then all of a sudden you've got someone to bring to a live podcast instead of going, oh, I brought this person,

but they're unaware, so maybe they'll think it's shit. Yeah, people are like, I never come because I don't want to be there by myself. Weird. Thanks, Lachlan. Thanks, Lachlan,

you beautiful son of a bitch Thank you to Patreon subscriber Daniel Cam Daniel Cam Yeah I don't like this Not hot Not into it

Don't wanna fuck him Nah Are you looking him up? Fuck Let's look him up Yeah Danny Cam I don't see it You don't see it? Are you looking him up? Fuck. Let's look him up. Yeah, Danny Cam. I don't see it.

You don't see it? You don't see any attraction towards him? Yeah. It's not making me hard just hearing the name. Really? And it's so close to come and you still don't... Oh, yeah, that's a good point. I hadn't thought of it in that way. No, what have we got?

I think I've found him. Do you want to look at him? Yeah, let's have a look. All right. All right. Well, we need to edit all of that out. Too close to home. Look, not confirmed.

There's a lot of Daniel Cams on the internet. It could be... Yeah, it could be... Yeah, it could be some other Argo that you've found. Oh, no. Damn. Man, well, I'll make it up to him. You'll fuck him?

I'll fuck him. Wow. I'll fuck him. Yeah, he certainly wouldn't be welcomed into this apartment, put it that way. Right, well... He wouldn't find himself in one of the 87 beautiful women that have been jousted by me in the last 11 months. The tide has turned.

Jesus. Well, you know, good news for him because I'm willing to take one for the team. All of a sudden, he gets to fuck me. So he'll be wrapped to this. What are you looking up? Now I want to look up Lachlan Russell to see. Oh, yeah. I kind of don't. I sort of don I want to look up Lachlan Russell to see. Oh, yeah.

I kind of don't. I sort of don't want to know. Okay. I'd rather have our... I kind of want him to get in touch. Right. And be like, here I am, boys. Yeah. I'm beautiful.

Just a picture of your hair, maybe. Yeah. That long mane. Yeah. But Daniel Cam, it's just one of those names that's just weirdly weighted as well. Quite a long first name. Yeah. But Daniel Cam, it's just one of those names that's just weirdly weighted as well. Quite a long first name. Yeah. Very short surname.

Yeah. I'm not with it. I don't, it's nothing for me. And, you know, I hadn't even, it says, it's like, I think so little of it that even, you know, I hadn't even considered the fact that it's so close to come. Right. I had to have you point that out to me. You know. It feels like he's under observation the whole time daniel cam you know yeah right yeah it feels like he's um if he was in thailand maybe if he was in the coast moving international

podcast festival he had gone i could have been sitting in australia watching him on a daniel oh yeah because the problem with that name too if, if you're Mr. and Mrs. Cam and you name your son Daniel, you're giving him one of those names that can be shortened, but he kind of can't because then he's either Dan Cam or Danny Cam. Danny Cam. So it's just like you really – like why give him that name? You know what I mean?

You're just burdening him with it. He has to be Daniel. Danny Cam. Is that that bad? It's like nanny cam. Oh, is that a thing? Yeah. Is nanny cam a phrase?

Yeah, it's a thing. It's like people buy them to spy on their nannies. Really? Yeah. Have you never heard of this? I'm not sure if I have. The thing where it's like you have an ornament or a teddy bear or whatever. Yeah, right.

So that you can... Maybe I didn't know that that was a phrasing. I mean, there's certainly a thing in popular culture, in media and stuff. Right. But I don't know in the real world how often do people get nanny care. Are they still a thing that exists? I mean, you know... It's so weird.

It's so funny that you're like, you're literally paying someone to look after your child, but then you're paying someone to look after the nanny. Yes. Where does it end? Well, I think it, yeah, I guess it's just like you have this little ornament with a camera in it. Right. Go through and look through the footage. Yeah.

You find them shaking that kid. When are you really finding time to fucking go through that shit, though? That's a fucking job. You need to hire someone else to go through that. Exactly. Because you're getting the nanny to have some time off. Yeah then you're having you need yeah then yeah it's like yeah you need to get someone to watch that footage like did you ever do this have you ever done this as a job oh no i think you definitely have done this as a job in comedy sometimes in tv there is the job

of someone that needs to just really sort of wade through a lot of footage. Yes. A lot of TV footage. I've done this several times. Yes. Yeah. To find maybe funny little bits and pieces that they can then put on some form of a TV show. Yeah.

So you have done that. I've done it for a TV show that was hosted by a guest on this episode, Ed Cavill. Oh, yes. I worked as a writer on his show, but the show was clips of TV shows. So my writing job was getting these TV shows and watching them and finding bits to isolate. Yes.

I've done that, and that was hard in its own way, but it definitely got easier the more I did it. I've also done it at the project, where you go through just the raw dumps of like if they turn up to do interviews yeah bakery that's blown up or whatever it's just like two hours worth of everyone they talk to in the street yeah and that's brutal because it's not you're just fast forwarding through them like turning on the camera and like filming the ground for 10 minutes as they walk over yes that is so rough i've

i did that once or for for i don't know half a season or something what the only thing is worse than that is because you know what like if there's a press conference if there's stuff like that there's more chance for funny things or phrasings or anything to happen i used to do it for football games afl football game yeah right when have you ever watched an AFL football game and gone, man, what a classic bit of comedy just happened there? Oh, I'm just cacking myself. And you'd have to watch the whole game and then you can't just go, well, nothing funny happened.

You have to sort of go, oh, someone dropped the ball. It sort of went, nearly hit him in the head. That was sort of funny yeah that's horrific you need like two pages of that shit yeah and i man i remember it's just fucking hard really hard not hard to watch the game because that's like fine if you enjoy the game it's like you get to watch the game but you've got to be concentrating and you've got the pressure on you the whole time going man i need to fill this fucking page up with something well something better something fucking funny better happen soon and i remember having a really bad

moment where it was like okay it was like quarter time or something and they all went for a huddle and i remember they were like passing along the towel and then one guy just blows his nose on it and then passes it to the next guy and then the next guy like didn't see that happen and then starts wiping his face and i've got i fucking got it great i finally got it a golden nugget sitting on the fucking ground i've got it i couldn't wait to send it in i'm like this bit and they go oh we had an identical bit on two weeks ago like fuck me dead yeah that's brutal i would do the same thing would happen with tv burp and that's because yeah you you kind of get a good eye for like looking for these things that you could isolate.

But you're also just watching a TV show. Yeah. Sometimes a show that you're actually enjoying. So every now and then I would go, I've got to rewind 10 minutes because I've just started acting. Like, me and another guy would do Neighbours and Home and Away every week. Like, that was our, like, specific shows that we focused on. And I ended up getting really into those shows. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I was just watching them, like, every day. And it's like, and because you're having to look at – you're having to pay attention to the like long-running storylines because we would do like a week's worth of those shows on one episode of our show. So you would watch a week at once in one day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you can't – it's like Stockholm Syndrome. Like I ended up – after that job, I then watched Neighbours for like six months after it because I was like, I'm in now. I kind of know who all these people are. Well, it's designed. You know, it's designed like that, isn't it? You know, you want to know what was like, I'm in now. I kind of know who all these people are. Well, it's designed. You know, it's designed like that, isn't it?

You know, you want to know what happens. Like, I'll get stuck now watching a fucking midday movie. Yeah. You watch 20 minutes of it and go, this sucks, but I really need to know who did it. I need to know who killed this woman.

But, terrible show, but that's the way they're structured. So you need, you're fucking sitting there going, shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah're fucking sitting there going, shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks, Daniel. Thanks, Daniel Cam.

Thank you to Patreon subscriber Andrew James. Doesn't get much plainer than that. Yeah, that's brutal. Andy James. Oh, look, it's fine. It's like, you know, it's brutal for What we're looking for But it'd be quite a nice life Walking around with the name

Andrew James Andrew James It's fine Yeah You meet a guy called Andrew James Your thought is not like Fuck That's your Patreon drilled brain

Saying fuck I would like to think Were I on the outside Of the prison that is this show Yes I would still think that Really? Yeah You don't like it still? I on the outside of the prison that is this show, I would still think that. Really? Yeah.

You don't like it still? I still would just be like, oh, man, that's a shame. There's nothing going on there. There's no flair. But again, that's my, I mean, yeah, that probably does suit some people fine. Who knows? Quite elegant to me. It's like if I met someone called Andrew James, I'd be like, man,

you should open a car dealership or something. You could trade off that name. Yeah, Andrew James Car Dealership. Yeah. Come down to Andrew James. Yeah, I guess I'd buy a car from this man. Yeah. I think it's catchy enough, but there's a little bit of reputableness to that name maybe.

It's a little bit elegant to me. I don't mind. If I was born again tomorrow and they said, Andrew James, that's your name, I wouldn't have a complaint. Right. Andy James. You're thinking it.

So I love the idea of you just rebranding, waking up tomorrow, going down the courthouse, getting your name changed to Andrew James. Having a bit of a freaky Friday moment where me and him, right at this moment, he's thinking, Carl Chandler, not a bad name. Wouldn't mind a bit more edge to my name than what I've been going around with all these years. All of a sudden, we think it at the same time, boom, we switch bodies.

Tomorrow morning. Yeah. We wake up. I'm fucking running this car dealership. He's got a fucking podcast he's got to put out every week Yeah Him having to get onto me And be like

Oh man we can't do it today It's not actually Carl It's someone who woke up in Carl's body I'm like fuck well let's do it then And meanwhile me going Fuck can someone buy This fucking Nissan Pintara? Yeah.

The single worst day of sales we've had at the car dealership. Because Andrew started calling everyone cunts as soon as they came in. Mate, you know I'd make it work. It'd be fine. I'd find a way. Thanks, Andrew. I'd just be busting the ass of all the other fucking salesmen. I'd be in charge.

I wouldn't have to sell them myself. Oh, yeah. Andrew wakes up back in his body next day. He's in. Entire staff's killed themselves overnight. But they've had a good day of business. Workplace harassment. All right.

Look, it's late. I don't know if we mentioned it. I'm happy about it. I'm completely energized about it. And I think it's a really positive thing. Yeah, we got it done. But it is very late. Big day for me. But, hey, I got a about it. I'm completely energized about it and I think it's a really positive thing. Yeah, we got it done. But it is very late. Big day for me, but hey, I got a lot done.

So it feels good. Yeah. That is, yeah, that is good. I really should try and go back and make sure that my child is okay. I have my 12.15 hosing out appointment turning up soon. I wish I hadn't heard that. Not for me. Well, I don't wish I hadn't said it.

I loved saying it. Great. I love being honest. I'll take the bullet. Whatever makes you happy, I'm happy to... You're so selfless. You owe me one, though. All right. Let's just do one more because we've only got a few minutes before this –

The tape runs out. Whatever you said. Oh, right. Whatever business that I've blocked from my mind that you've got coming up very soon. Okay. Okay. Thank you to Patreon subscriber. Does that be good?

Well, it'd be interesting. It'd be interesting anyway. I don't know. It's hard to tell with you. Thank you to Patreon subscriber. Beautiful comedy. Oh. Yeah.

Well, hang on. I meant to be here at 12.15. Hang on, you're checking your phone. What's happening? It's three minutes early. Hang on You're hooking up With someone called Beautiful Comedy Yeah I've been

Smashing Beautiful Comedy You don't know Beautiful Comedy No It's just like the What's the name of the Famous groupie In Almost Famous

I don't know Beautiful Comedy Right One of the most Is that a big Renowned famous groupie in Almost Famous? I don't know. Beautiful Comedy. Right. One of the most renowned. Is that a big comedy groupie? Yeah. Going around Melbourne. One of the biggest slam pigs going around.

Fucking hell. Who was the famous groupie on With The Band? What was the name of... She wrote a famous book. Oh, right. I don't know. On With The Band. I'm looking it up very quickly just to make sure that...

No relation to beautiful comedy. That's her memoir, I'm with the comedian. Yeah. I'm with the podcast. Yeah. I'm with the Patreon, right? I'm with the band. Come on.

Give me it. Let's just clear this up. It's a tough phrase to Google. Yeah. Oh, God. Well, anyway... Give me a Just Let's just clear this up It's a tough phrase to Google Yeah Oh god Well anyway Pamela Desbar De Debaras

Okay That's how you pronounce it Famous groupie Famous groupie What like 70s kind of era Yes Absolutely Right

Rooted Bob Dylan and more Etc Damn All of that business Yeah nice Well maybe not him I don't know

That was just a That was a a very big... It was a stab in the dark. Yeah, it would have been... There would have been a bit of... Without looking at it properly, there would have been a bit of... Steven Tyler. Oh, yeah.

For sure. Mick Jagger. Yeah. Here we go. It's come up. Yeah, Mick Jagger. Oh, man. That's a shame.

On the Wikipedia page, it doesn't say... Who she fucked. Yeah, who she rooted. Yeah, that should absolutely be on there. Just personal life section. Yeah. You expand it, the window just blows up. But if that's what you're famous for,

you don't go, okay, well, I found this famous TV writer. We're not going to mention what he wrote for. Yes, it is weird, but it's also like yeah the idea of someone's wikipedia just having roots they've done on it yeah it's a strange it's a strange conundrum for the admins and boffins in at wikipedia.org as much as you'd like your wikipedia page to be exactly like that yeah i guess it's just not going to happen photos explicit descriptions by me yeah writings out Ratings out of 10. Sex, expanded sexography.

I mean, you know, if someone like a director, like a Scorsese, for example, his filmography isn't a section on his Wikipedia page. It's its own Wikipedia page. So, it's like you click through Martin Scorsese filmography, new window opens. That's what I want for my roots. Right. Right. Wikipedia.org slash the roots of Tommy Dasolo.

Right, okay. Well, I look forward to someone making that. Good Lord. Thanks, Beautiful. And I guess I'll see you soon. Oh, you're welcome, Carl. And thanks, Beautiful Comedy, for supporting us on Patreon. Yep.

All right. I'll let myself out as she lets herself in, I assume. Yeah, please. You guys can high-five on the way through. Great. Thanks very much. Everyone who supports the show on Patreon, littledumbdumbclub.com is where you can find links to all our stuff.

Get some tickets for our upcoming shows. We will see you next week with a new episode. Until then, take care of yourselves. We'll see you next time. Take care of yourselves. This is a new bit to be in. A bit more positivity into the world. We've already recorded next week's.

So it's a great feeling to sort of go, oh, you'll enjoy that next week. Yep. See you, mate. See you, mate.