The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 481 - Nina Oyama & Greg Larsen

Episode Date: December 24, 2019

Gather round the Christmas ham and settle in for a rollercoaster of an episode with NINA OYAMA and GREG LARSEN! Nina comes in scorching hot, so we crack a few beers to keep her buzz going. Tommy's been to a gym Christmas party and a funeral, Greg's been playing some lewd video games and Nina's dressed up as a possum. Merry Christmas! ADELAIDE! We're back. Sort of. Doing our solo shows back-to-back. March 14, 2pm.BRISBANE! A huge live podcast and our solo shows. March 15, 1.30pm.MELBOURNE! Our 500th episode is on sale. It's going to be massive. April 25, 2020. 8:30pm.We've also got two smaller shows on in the lead up. April 4 & 11. 4pm. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the Little Dum Dum Club, a brand new episode with guests Greg Larson and Nina Oyama. We have a bunch of live shows on sale, littledumdumclub.com. And Merry Christmas, everyone. Yeah, Merry Christmas. Enjoy this special Christmas-themed episode of the Little Dum Dum Club. There's some stuff in this to discuss at the end of the episode. We'll see you for it. Also, just a warning up the top of the show, guys. Don't get annoyed. This might be your bag, this episode. It might not be your bag.

There is someone that's in maybe a slightly different state of mind during this episode. Just have that in your head on the way in. Uh-oh, no spoilers. Enjoy this episode. We'll see you to give a big old wrap-up in Talking Dumb Dumb at the end of the ep. But until then, enjoy. Hey, mates, welcome once again into the little dum-dum club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo, and with me is always the other half of the program, Carl Chandler.

Hey, dickhead. We've got some work on our hands tonight, I think, Tommy. So we've got one person who is just fucking rollicking out of control, and then I think the other person is going to kill himself in response to it. So we've got such – just the mood from these two guests is just absolute polar opposites from where I'm sitting. So hopefully they balance each other out and we just get a normal episode. It's quite boring. We could get one good guest out of these two.

We'll see if you can guess who's who out of that. Please welcome back onto the show Greg Larson and Nina Oyama. Hey, how are you doing? Hello. My name is Greg. Greg Larson. All right. So guys at home, you use your ears as a breathalyzer.

Guess which one has been drinking all day and which one hasn't. It's definitely me, Greg. Greg, you've really... I love to drink alcohol. Greg, you've got a real problem. You've got to sort your shit out. Yeah. When you get pissed, you sound really feminine as well, which is not bad.

This is actually an intervention. You need to rein it in, Greg. We're all really worried about you. What are you saying? I'm Greg. Why am I British? British Greg is drunk. need to rein it in, Greg. We're all really worried about you. What are you saying? I'm Greg. Why am I British? British Greg. British Greg's drunk.

I love British Greg. British Greg. I'm British Greg. Hello, governor. Oh, I'm going down to the pie shop. I love me a meat pie and a beer. This is pretty bang on, to be honest. I think this is...

If you can change channels in podcast land, probably switch over right now, I reckon, guys. One time I came to Tonightly at like 7am and Greg was just there eating a fucking meat pie. No, okay, wrong. It's fucking so early and you're eating a meat pie. Oh, it's 7am, you were eating a pie at 7am. Sausage roll, thank you very much. Sorry. I had a sausage roll in the're eating a big pie. Oh, it's 7am, you were eating a pie at 7am. Sausage roll. Oh, hello.

Thank you very much. Sorry. I had a sausage roll in the morning, not a pie. Please respect the British culture, alright? I had a little sausage, a little sausage governor. Yeah. Oh, hi, it's Nino Yama. By the way, thank you for introducing me, punk. So you were messaging me on the way here.

You were saying some people will say that they're drunk and then other people can just convey that through appalling grammar and every second word being spelt wrong. Why not both, Tommy? Yeah, exactly. Why not fucking both? I really got the impression that you were coming in absolutely scorching hot. You've brought in a six-pack of beer.

You've brought in an array of snacks that you brought on the way. Thank you. The first thing you said to me was, do you have a toilet when you turned up out the front of my house? You never know with comedians. You never know. What I find unsettling is because you said, do you have a toilet? And then when you got inside, Tommy said, well, do you need the toilet?

And you said, the situation has changed. I don't know what that means. Did you drink your own piss on the way in? Yes, maybe I did. I'm like Bear Grylls in the tundra. Urban Bear Grylls. I'm in East Melbourne. I'm like, I don't know where anything is.

It's not really survival. It's just inconvenience that you're battling against. Incontinence and inability to navigate Google Maps. I'm looking forward to the episode, like, picture of this going up on social media in a week's time and Nina being like, when the fuck did I do that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool, I get to listen to this episode as a fan. Or the picture of us, it's just

a bird's eye picture of us because Nina's on the ground past that by the end. We're just giving the thumbs up. Those three balding heads. Brutal. Cop that, boys. Just kidding. Just kidding. You'll have lots of hair. Great. Good to know. Just Carl.

So, I brought beers Carl. No, go. Yeah, I know. I don't know. So I brought beers along. Oh, Carl's like, don't drink the beer. I've got beers. You brought beers along, but now we've got an overload of beers because what happened was we did a show in Hobart a couple of weeks ago and a listener called Andrew Hay sent me $20 and said,

oh, you guys all need beers, which is very nice of him. But we were out. At the gig? Yeah, I presume so. I presume that's what it was for. Because he didn't say it was for Hobart or anything. It was just we got it on the day that we were doing the show. So then I just bought like four.

I went to like a craft beer shop. And I don't really like craft beer, but I just bought four craft beers, all different ones. So I thought you guys, you can pick. All right, what do we got here did you buy these down there down where in Tassie no just then

oh because one of them is from Hobart Hobart Brewing Company love this content that's a cream that's a cream ale shut up you fucking wino as if you don't want

to scull all four of them they're very colourful yeah they are aren't they? I like the cream ale. I like the scent of a cream. I love cream. I'm always talking about creams. You are.

I used to do my cream tweets. You do. I used to cream about cream. Well, this is the sausage roll of beer. Cream about the cream. Yeah. So you're going to have the cream ale. I'm a real Aussie cream man.

I love my cream. Cream man. I can't believe you're abandoning my beautiful coopers there. Oh, no. I'll scum the rest of it. I'm trying to catch up. There's now so much beer in this apartment. Is this a little Dumb Dumb Club Christmas party?

Yes. It really should be. Who's got the coke? Greg, you just came from Channel 10. Where is it? Cut! Where is it, cunt? Where is it? Nah, jokes. Hang on.

I'm going to taste this cream ale. I'm going to give you a live review. Hang on. Yeah, sure. Creamy. Oh, we know he's drunk it now. People at home know he's drunk something. There's a creamy element to it.

Is there really? Oh, is there? That's creamy. No shit, cunt. Can I have a sip of your cream? Have at my cream, brother. Now we're cream brothers forever. I can't taste the cream at all, to be honest.

It's a creamy texture. I'd say it's a beer-y texture. Try to justify the lies, Greg. Can I just say, can I try that cream beer? No, that's a creamy texture. I had a beer the other day. It was chocolate milk flavoured mint beer.

Shut up. And it was literally tasted like a tradie's jizz dream. It literally tasted like a dream. Yeah. That's how that works. It was like if I was a tradie and I was doing a big come, I'd be like, I'll just be thinking about this beer all day. I'll be fucking thinking about this chocolate milk fucking

barista bro's hybrid motherfucker. It wasn't right. I'll tell you that. Great. All right. So let us know. Out of all of us, you're the expert on beer today, I would say. Has this got any cream in it?

What do you reckon, Fiona or Yama? Greg, you're fucking lying. No, no. It just tastes like a beer. No, it doesn't taste like cream. It has a creamy texture, a creamy mouthfeel. Right. A creamy mouthfeel. Yes.

You would put this on scones, this beer. You would go well with scones. Can I say I would not disagree? You would not disagree or you would not comma disagree? I would not full stop disagree. Full stop. Can I say the other day I had a shandy, right? Yeah.

I don't mean to do a cross promotion, but on the grub we all had shandies. Okay. And shandies. So that's a beer with lemonade. It's half beer, half lemonade. Way better than you think it's going to be. Really? It's really, really good.

Damn, I've never had one. Well, come to Summer Man. Yeah. Take the plunge. I've just had a hand shandy. Let me tell you, it was way better than I thought it was going to be. See, as I was saying that, I was trying to think of a way to work in handshandy.

While I was talking, in my brain, going, get to handshandy at some point as I'm talking. Right, an expectation has been set up. Handshandy, I came. By the way, this episode at the moment sounds like three stuffy Oxford professors and then some cool kids wandered in and gone, you guys need to get out of those stuffy shirts

and party up, guys. Let's all cram into a telephone booth. So a hand shandy, it's a euphemism for jacking off, right? Yeah. But what? It's a euphemism for being jacked off. Right, yes. I don't think you can give yourself a hand shandy

any more than you could give yourself a hand job. It's a hand job. Right, okay. I don't think you can give yourself a hand shandy any more than you could give yourself a hand job. It's a hand job. Right, okay. I guess you could give yourself a hand job. I'm not the same. It's just called wanking. Yeah, exactly. It's not a hand job.

You don't go, guess what, I've just got a hand job. Who fronting myself? Exactly. When you suck your own dick, you don't go, I've got a hand job. You just say, I've just sucked my own dick. Hang on. That's great. You manage to suck your own dick and you're calling up people going, just got a head job you just say do you think that's because do you think that's because it's hang on hang on you managed to suck your own dick and you're calling up people

going just got a blowy I just want to tell you though I am not that flexible so you do the maths how big do you think it is mate do you think it's because do you think it's the use of the word job that you're not allowed to

you know apply to yourself because it's like well it's not really a job you don't you can't work for yourself in this situation right self-employed. I've got an ABN, mate.

I'm a sole trader. I invoice myself. Very sole. You're not really even trading either. You're keeping it. Zero dollars an hour. I wonder if that's the way you could somehow do money laundering by being your own sex worker so you could launder money by giving yourself

hand jobs and paying yourself. But also hand shandy. It's an accepted thing. Hand shandy is a hand job, right. But shandy, as we've just found out, as we've just settled, is beer plus lemonade. So hand, the hand version of beer plus

lemonade. How's that? Why is it called that? Is it like rhyming slang? Hand shandy? It just sounds fun to say. It's because it's like a cum in your mouth. No, you know what? No, you know what?

Because if you tasted a shandy, you would go, ooh. That's like cum. Yeah, this feels like having a cum. Yeah, but it's been proven that you think everything's creamy that you put in your mouth at once. Yeah, yeah. And everything tastes like cum to Greggy. That's because he's just got a lot of cum in his mouth

to start with, I think, and anything else that comes in there. I don't actually... That's a weird condition I have. My saliva is just cum. I just have too much cum that I only have cum saliva. I don't like to spread that around too much. Do you know what?

Do you know what? We've got some episodes up our sleeve. Let's make sure this is the one that comes out on Christmas Day. Oh, yes. I just thought of that. A creepy treat for all the listeners. Merry Christmas, Tiny Tim. I've got this episode full of dick sucking and power.

I'm not leaving milk and cookies out for Santa. I'm leaving my hard dick for him to jack off. Cream and cookies. I just thought of the fact if my saliva... If my saliva... Cookies and cream is the term. If my saliva... Yeah. How is the...

Kimmel's flavour in Ben and Jerry's. How does the drunkest woman alive know that one better than me? She corrected my grammar then. Who's the drunkest woman alive? I just want to say, I've got it in my mind. If I had cum saliva and someone was like, can you donate sperm? Then it would be me.

Just spitting into it. Spitting into a gaping pussy. No need to. Just cut out the middle man. I'll close my eyes. No, I just like the preparation because that's more interesting. It's like. That one's going to go up nice.

I'm going to make a child. No, but also you going down on a woman and then you go up and then you get up and she's like, okay, now put it in. You're pregnant already. Oh, yeah. Do I have a toilet here? I need to use it now. What, to jack off or to vomit? I love the image of this being on, a family just carving up the turkey.

No, no, so the TV on, volume down, a replay of Carol's Black Handle Light on TV, and this going through the speaker. And this syncing up every now and then. And looking really hard at the TV and going, it sounds like Dennis Walter just said he spat cum into someone's vagina. I just like the idea it's on Silent Night and it's just Delta Kudrum and a spotlight and you just hear... Holy man.

A very dum-dum Christmas. Very tummy Christmas. So which one are you drinking, Kando? I'm onto the Deeds Draft, whatever that means. It's a black can. I've had that one, the bicycle. I'm having beer can, beer can. I've had those two.

That's why I went for the creamy, because I'd never had it before. Oh, fuck. There you go. I hope this tastes like something cum related. You know what that reminds me of? Unfortunately, mine just tastes like beer. Yeah, mine's pretty straight down the barrel. It's quite decent, though.

It's quite nice. I'm on the other side of the... You're fucking foul, you motherfucker. It's Christmas, mate. Jesus just got born. Come on, mate. I'm definitely getting... Jesus was a cum baby.

All babies are cum babies. No, Jesus was the only non-c cum baby. All babies are cum babies. No, Jesus was the only non-cum baby. That's the thing. Jesus was not a cum baby. This is my new theory. Jesus is a blank baby. No, man. Joseph just spat cum into Mary's pussy.

Oh, God. They leave that part out of the story. That's why they weren't allowed in the fucking... That's why I was like, oh, it was good. But like, in the inn. That's why I was like, oh, it was not, but like, Joseph dead set, he like, came in Mary, sucked her pussy, got the cum out,

spat it back into the pussy, and that's how Jesus was born. I believe that's in the New New Testament. Let's put this up on Christmas Day 2020 so I've got time to edit it. Yeah, great. You don't need to edit nothing, man. This is good stuff. This is good stuff.

High quality material. This is going to get you the sack from Utopia. This is what's going to happen. They're going to hear this. No! Stop bringing up Utopia! I'm on the other side of the coin to you at the moment, Nina. I'm a little worse for wear today, full disclosure, because last night I went

to the Christmas party for the gym that I go to. That's so quite an event. That's the saddest thing I've ever heard. Yeah. I was just thinking about it yesterday. I went to the gym Christmas party. You're just relaying what he's saying in a dumb voice, to be fair.

It's not that much different to my actual voice. It's just deeper. You've made me sound better. No way. Do you know when I first listened to the Little Dum Dum Club I was like, oh. It's just deeper. You've made me sound better. No way. Do you know when I first listened to the Little Dum Dum Club, I was like, oh, it's so progressive. They've got a woman on. And then only a year later, I was like, Tommy's not a woman. Oh, no.

And he was like, oh, it's a man. And now after this episode, we'll never have a woman on again Thank God for that Chicks are fucked First Fiona Now you Fuck All chicks Fucking drink

Honestly Okay so how is this Christmas party This gym Christmas party I just saw a post of her yesterday And I was like How'd that go

I can't imagine going to A gym Christmas party The only reason I went Is because one of my best and I was like, how would that go? I can't imagine going to a gym Christmas party. The only reason I went is because one of my best friends goes to the same gym as me and hit me up and was like, hey, let's go. This will be funny. And so I was like, okay. Tell me. What?

Do you actually have a best friend? Oh, no. She's got me again. Oh, no. I'm a lonely woman. The worst thing you can be. This apartment should be full of cats by rights. Too right.

Hey, Greg, let's spit some cum into his pussy. Wait, what's that? Meow. Meow. I don't ever want to spit cum into Tommy's pussy. Meow. I'm a little cat. I think I'm getting drunk off Nina.

I'm a little cat That's my British cat guys Hello I'm Tommy's cat Governor Is he related to British Tom? Or British Greg? I'm related to British Greg Biologically of course Right

Yeah because I'm a cat because I'm a cat man. I'm a cat man. So, Tommy Daslow's gym Christmas party. Carl, can you cut her off? She already had a beer on the go, and then you've just given her another one. Jesus Christ. I've got beer can, beer can, beer can. You've got two beers.

Can you please... And you've also got a mountain of water. Can you please have some of that, please? Yeah, sorry. Please call it by its real name, Mountain Franklin. Right, sorry. Call me by my name before you eat my cum, before you spit in my peach.

Before you spit cum into my peaches. Mount Franklin, please. Let us know how you enjoyed this episode. This is just a whole series of fucked words. This is when I wish we had talk back. Just so, I just want to know how you're enjoying this so far. Yeah, open it up. The callers will be worse than Nina, for sure.

Oh, yeah. If you know what I want to say, text in. So, Tommy. The little dum-dum club. Yeah, this gym. Come on,dum club Yeah This gym Come on ask me questions Christmas party Ask me questions

Please let's get back to that So yeah I went with my friend And we hadn't hung out In a while So it was It was pretty much A waste of time

Because it's just me and her Yeah In the corner Just catching up And not in a gym Let's make that clear You're not getting drunk In the gym

No It was at a bar near by They put a bit of food on They put a bit of tab on It would have been so much better Put a bit of tab on. It would have been so much better. Put a bit of tab on. What kind of food

did they have? They got some pizza from the pizza place. What kind of tab did they have? Acid? Acid and pokies. Classic tabs.

Yeah, so I was just basically chatting to my friend for like, like for two hours after we got there. It was just us in the smokers area, just chewing each other's ears off and then, you know, and kind of like going to the bar, getting drinks,

kind of like loitering around, but just basically talking to each other. And then eventually we go, fuck, we've come to this thing. We may as well socialize with the people who are actually here from the gym. So we go and we chat to like a couple of the trainers who were there and some of the other members of the gym. But it is weird because you go in and you're like you see a lot of these people every day but you just basically see them working out on the other side of the room to you yeah it kind of feels like a weird blind date where you sort of and you just you're just in the lamest conversations like yeah

oh yeah how's that 7am class when you have to like do this way yeah it's pretty brutal isn't it it's like this is the most simultaneously boring and disinterested I've ever been. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just a feedback loop of dull conversation. Yeah, yeah. And were the other people fun at all? Um, not really. Yeah.

But like, we get talking to the trainers. There was no, let's say there was no Ninas there, I would say. There were no Ninas there. Oh, you suck it. I can, we, me and the trainers. Sorry, there were no Nina's there. I do go to the gym though. Oh, nice.

I go on the treadmill. What do you bench? I bench two. Two? Oh, sweet doubles. I can bench a Tommy and a Carl. Really? Wow.

And one Greg. Bullshit you can bench a Greg. Bullshit, mate. Two are in my dreams. That's her trying to insult you and you going, you didn't insult me enough yet. Yeah. Okay, three Daslos and two Carls.

Oh, nice. That's what equals one Greg. One Greg. One Greg. It's probably not far off. I reckon I could bench a Greg. There's no way. There's no way I could bench a Greg There's no way There's no way you could bench a Greg

Literally I'm so strong You couldn't bench me I found out the other day I really couldn't bench you cunt You couldn't Right now You couldn't I found out the other day

I'll bench the shit out of you I am fatter Like I'm heavier Than Homer Simpson In the episode where Homer Gets crazy fat to go on disability. No way. Yeah.

No way. So you should be wearing a muumuu right now. Yeah. Wow. Greg, stop doing fucking bits. I saw this at Crab Lab three weeks ago. 2020, watch Greg's show. Fuck.

My partner is fatter than you, Greg, and I can fight him. I reckon, I'd love to see how much we weigh, because he's way short, though. He's shorter, but he's bigger. He's bigger around. Is your boyfriend a big boy? He's a big boy. He's good. I date him because he makes me look skinny.

Not a joke. I date him because I love him. Love you, Craig. And he's old, so he makes me look young. But we wrestle, and sometimes I pin him down, and I'm like, fuck you. All right. So I reckon that's on the basis of that that I could take on all of your cunts.

That's what I'm saying. On the basis of your boyfriend voluntarily being held down by his attractive younger girlfriend, you now think you're strong. No, he doesn't voluntarily. He fights back. He's fine with you being on top is what I'm trying to say. No, I don't think he is. He's very masculine. If he's a big boy, he's fine with you being on top Is what I'm trying to say No I don't think he is He's very masculine If he's a big boy

He's fine with you being on top Oh he's really not He's like Gets me so bad And I'm like Eat it bitch I'm stronger You really sound like English

Is not your first language At the moment by the way You know what It's actually not English is not your first language at the moment, by the way. Thank you. You know what? It's actually not. English is not my first language. Japanese is. Oh, really?

Yeah. Let's give that a go then. Oh, yes. Thank you. Do you want me to speak in Japanese for this whole podcast? Because I will. No. And it'll suck.

Yeah, all right. We won't do that then. Just a little bit. Good, good, because I can't actually speak Japanese. I'm just making words up. Nice. Well, that's fine by us. Can't see any issues with that.

Okay, on to gyms. There's a gym near my house that I think is like a fuck gym. Hang on, hang on. A fuck gym? Yeah, a fuck gym. Where people go to fuck. I think, yeah. I think is like a fuck gym. Hang on, hang on. A fuck gym? Yeah, a fuck gym. Where people go to fuck. I think, yeah. I think it's a fuck gym.

And what's your evidence in this being a fuck gym? Several things. One, there's always, like it's 24 hours and there's always cars there. Like more cars than you think late at night. Right. But you never see anyone. Like you look through the windows, where are they? Right.

Like they're in there, but they're not, like you can't see anyone. Like, you look through the windows. Where are they? Right. Like, they're in there, but they're not... Like, you can't see them. Right. And also, there's a huge... So you're thinking that there's a lot of cars in the car park, but you can't see them as you walk by. So there's some sort of underground lair underneath the gym where there are people fucking.

Well, I mean, like, maybe the dunnies, maybe the showers. Oh, they're going in the middle of the night to a gym to suck someone off in the dunnies. Maybe. Maybe. But I haven't got in the middle of the night to a gym to suck someone off in the dunks. Maybe. But I haven't got to the rest of it. There's a huge amount of used condoms outside the gym all the time. Oh, the smoking gun. Here we go.

A crazy amount. I would have led with that bit of evidence to start with instead of there's a lot of cars. There's always cars there. Do you think Coles is some sort of fucking orgy, by the way? Wilson's car park. This disgusting display. Did you just fool people fucking on the weekend? It's like the fall of Rome.

Have you ever been to Tullamarine and the fuck airport out there? That phrase, Nero fiddled while Rome farted. Okay, so there's a lot of condoms outside. A lot of condoms. And then one time there was just like a soiled mattress with a red sheet. Like, dumped outside. Literally just out the back door of the gym. So I'm going to just like...

So you think that they've just dragged a mattress in the middle of the floor, in the gym, in between all the... I don't know. That's the thing. I'm like, I am bewildered as well. Maybe someone from another house has dragged it over to... I'm not trying to be offensive here, but you sound, not only do you look, but you sound like you've never been to a gym.

Look, I've joined gyms before. I have joined over three gyms. So, look, hey. Have you fucked in a gym, though? No, I've never fucked in a gym. Hey, man. Not yet. Is that where you join three gyms?

You just keep trying to find the fuck gym. I'm trying to find the fuck gym. Have you looked on it? Try working out and then maybe, no, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding. You heard of the gym? It's really hard to pull out of the gym. So it's like, oh, this is a fuck gym. Have you Googled the gym to see if like

any kind of you know maybe reviews come up or you know anyone on the google this is a fuck gym yeah I reckon people do

fuck a gym though because I've been at gyms and they were like ripped in the head and I've just sneakily it is a horny place like you

there's a lot of such a horny place like I've even seen someone being like oh yeah can I spot ya And you're like This is so homoerotic Like they're gonna fuck

Right right Okay But no There's a lot of people You know In various states of undress And a lot of adrenaline A lot of you know

People checking each other out Yeah Sweat yeah I've done classes Where you get paired with people And you're doing these ones Where you've got to like Exercise where you've got to

Like hold onto each other And be like facing each other, really working up a sweat, staring into this person's eyes and you get to the end and it's like, Jesus Christ. And you're like, I'm sorry to this person. I could have been paired with someone else, but you got me.

That's three. You know the rules, guys. I have to kill myself now. It's either run around with your pants off around the pool table or kill yourself. I was at the gym the other day and I do a version, not F45, which you do, but another thing. F1. Guess what the F stands for. So I was doing the circuit around the thing and the whole time I'm like having to be

next to this six year old woman and she's just like fucking coaching me the whole time she's just going come on mate come on you can go harder than that

I'm like Jesus Christ do you work here and she's like no she wants to fuck you man oh man it's a fuck gym

it's a fuck gym oh man I go to a fuck gym you go to a fuck gym an FG were there cars parked outside? There were cars parked outside. There were.

There were. There were. You know what that means. That's the first sign. It wasn't an absolutely abandoned street. You're right. There was cars there. Orange theory, more like pink theory.

Get in there, chief. Maybe it's orange because they just do it so hard and rough. Oh, my God. So this drinks last night. We finally start socializing with the trainers and the other people at the gym and me and my friend have just been like in the corner chatting the whole night and then one of the trainers is like saying to me and my friend oh so how long have you guys been together for how long have you been a couple for and we're like

oh we're not we're not a couple and they're like oh you but we see you at the we see you at the gym together all the time we're like yeah no we're just friends and they're like and then one of the trainers is like, yeah, but we know what's going on. We've been seeing you tonight, you two sneaking off to the toilets together. We know what's going on here. And then we're like, yes,

that's why we've been going to the toilets at this bar on a Saturday night. We're a couple having sex in the toilets at this bar, at this drinks for our gym. Little did they know we were just shitting on each other. I like the idea that they think that you're having quick fucks a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're obviously going out. You're like edging every time. This white stuff is from the chalk from the weights I was just lifting before I came in. But also, being in a long-term couple as I am, whenever we go out, instead of having sex at home, we're having it in a toilet. In a public toilet somewhere. The horniest place that exists.

Yeah, totally. Nice. So, yeah, that is a funny theory to get fucked up at your work, at your gym, drinks. Yeah. It's going against everything they believe in. Well, that's kind of, it really did make it a lot more appealing. It felt more naughty than just being at a bar drinking. Just really going turbo at a gym, at the peak of wellness,

the Christmas drinks for a thing that is such a positive thing of wellness in your life and being like, let's see how much good I can undo over the space of three hours. Great. Christmas party. Have you been to a Christmas party, Nina, this year? Yes. Any form of a Christmas party?

I did. I did. I was very sick. And then everyone's like, keep drinking. And I was like, okay. And then they're like, how about you have some cocaine? I was like, okay. And then how about you have some mushrooms?

I was dancing around it in my story, but just go right out and say it. They're like, how about you have some mushrooms? I was dancing around it in my story but just go right out and say what. They're like, how about you have some mushrooms? And I was like, I'm very sick. And then I was like, okay. And then I stayed up till four o'clock and then I passed out. Nice. This was not an eventful story. Yeah, what a boring story.

I got drunk. No, Christmas party. It was my work Christmas party and I just bitched about, oh, no. I just bitched about one particular employee and I was like, fire them. And then the person was like, no. And then I was like, okay. And then I got passed out.

You tried your best. And then I got passed out. I done passed out, man. Great. Well, you were telling us you had a story about a show that you were working us you had a story about a show that you were working on earlier in the year. I did.

I did, but I don't think it's as entertaining as my parties. No, I'm kidding. I was working on a TV show. I will not say the name, but I had to dress up as a music show. Yes. And I had to dress up as a giant possum. My name was DJ Possum. Yes.

Great. I had to basically wear a fursuit like you know how furries want to fuck in a fursuit yeah yeah they call it yiffing yeah yiffing you taught me that word you know i say yiffing to everyone really my boyfriend i'm like what a yiff and he's like you're not even wearing a fursuit hang on so you had to dress up in this in this possum suit so you were on there for for a while like you're a regular or something does that mean you were getting a lot of feedback off from the internet off these people? I was getting live feedback, particularly from this 50-year-old woman that was like,

can I get a selfie with you? And I was like, sure. And she was like, my husband will be so jealous. He loves to dress up as a fox. And this is a lady from the audience. And then she goes, you know, cosplay. And I was like, oh, cunt, your husband is a furry. And he's going to fuck you in that fursuit and you don't even know.

The worst moment. But, oh, this is a story. So basically. Oh, I've halfway through my story and I've realised this is a story. Oh, this is a story. This is the fun part. I don't know. Sometimes I tell it and everyone's like, that's sad.

And I'm like, no, it's cool. Yeah. We weren't sad. I was like on set and they're like, that's sad. And I'm like, no, it's cool. Yeah. We weren't sad. I was like on set and they're like, okay, so we're going to play this game where you're going to be goalie and we're going to get all these people to kick balls at the goal. And you're in the possum suit? I'm in the possum suit. Right.

That's me in the possum suit. That's me in the spot. Getting kicked in the head. So I got kicked in. So basically they were like, and they made me feel the balls. And they're like, look, these balls, they're so soft. They're for children. They're children's balls.

And I was like, how do you know what children's balls feel like? You pedo? No, I'm kidding. But I was like, feel these balls. I was like, it seems legit. And they fucking just give them to the people. And the people start kicking the balls in my head. And the first ball, I didn't realize this,

but the giant possum head I was wearing, there was like a big, the eyeballs were screwed in with this like very sharp screw. Oh, from the outside in. So you're getting the sharp screw towards the real eyeball. Towards my head. And the fucking ball for children fucking impacts the possum head and then the fucking screw from the eyeball. You're so close to English at the moment, by the way.

You're so close. To what? To using English. To getting sued. But the fucking screw inside the possum head, it like digs into my forehead and just scrapes, like drags across my forehead. And I went down.

I went onto the ground and I was like, stop. And because I was meant to be a goalie and I was wearing a goalie shirt in my possum outfit, everyone's like, oh, she's fucking playing up. Yeah, possum. And everyone just starts cheering and laughing. And then just more balls, like, come at my face. And I start putting my hands up in front of my face. I'm like, stop.

And I'm yelling. I'm like stop and i'm yelling i'm like guys stop i'm badly injured and they're like this is so funny look at this possum pretending to be a fucking goalie and just more balls come in my head and i feel them and i feel them and then at the end they're like they're like all right rap and i'm like sick and i walk off and i take the possum head off and my entire, like I'm not even joking, like my entire head was bleeding and covered in blood and everyone was laughing. And I took the head off and everyone's like, oh, no.

And then people are like, yeah, I thought I could hear you screaming. I was just doing this because there was very famous people on the show and I was like, I'd like to have a drink with those well-known musicians. Oh, really? So this is the only way you could sneak your way into this production? Yeah, I was like, oh, there's this particular band, they're famous for smoking like five bongs in like five seconds. I was like, I want to hang out with these cunts.

And then they fucking kicked me in the head. Wow. So you dressed up as a possum just to hang out with the Wiggles. That's awesome. Yeah. I'm a fucking, I was going to say I'm a sex worker for the Wiggles, but that doesn't work.

I won't do anything to fuck. Murray. He's the only one that's still alive and awake. Sorry, Jeff. But anyways. That's the one thing you're saying sorry for. Sorry to insult Jeff. That's where I draw the line is a sleepy wiggle.

A drowsy one, I'll take that. That's not cool. But anyways, so I got kicked in and i took off my head and then i was like okay well at least i could get to go backstage with my icons the dune not kidding the wingles i'll go backstage with them and then the production manager is like yes sorry we're gonna we're gonna you're gonna fill out this accident form and i was like okay well can i have a beer and they're like no you might you might have a concussion so if you drink a beer you might die and they're like have this first just a woman covered in blood so can i have a beer and i'll sign anything disinfecting my face

matter of fact i've got it now yeah and also everyone's kind of ripping me out of the costume at the same time and then i was like i was kind of like half joking but i was also like half crying and then i was like can i have a cigarette and then the security guard just like whips out a bag of winnie blues like throws him at me and then i just sat outside this building like in my fucking half in my mascot outfit just smoking like the filthiest cigarette my god like it was just the best thing ever. But then this very, very famous musician, pop musician, Australian like worldwide A-list chick walks past and she just looked at me and she goes, ew.

She's not wrong. Yeah, she wasn't. It was the best fucking night of my life. That's my story. Great. That's good. Not as good as me being drunk right now though. Yeah, no, it's all working for us. Thank you. I don't have a con story. Great. That's good. Not as good as me being drunk right now, though. Yeah, no, it's all working for us.

Thank you. I don't have a concussion. Yeah. Actually, after telling this, maybe I do. Yeah. You have a self-inflicted concussion, I think, at the moment. Yeah. Was this story yesterday?

Maybe. Oh, boy. Well, I've got a thing I've been meaning to talk about for a while. Who knows how it'll go with a certain company we have at the moment. I know, it's interesting. I've got a thing up my sleeve and I'm like, well, do you put it out here? Yeah, yeah.

I can't wait to see what happens with Nina being here. Why not? Well, yeah, there's no clean way to segue into this, but trust me, I do think there is something funny about it. While you were in Thailand recently, Carl, this was several weeks ago, I had a death in the family. My nan passed away.

94 years old though, so you know, whatever. I thought you said this was going to be funnier. But you know, this was like a very expected thing in the family. But the thing was, she... That sounds very accusatory towards the rest of your family. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The rest of the family expected her to die. Well, also, it's like, in my family, it's like, no, in every family. That's how time works. Yeah, we all knew that Nan would die one day. Call it intuition. Hey, man, it's cool. My Nan killed herself because she didn't want to die naturally. She was like, fuck this shit, I'm out.

Oh, really? Yeah. Right, wow. She's not like pussy like your nan. My nan waited it out for like seven years. Yeah, my nan was like, she heard she had to get a carer and she was like, fuck this shit. And she started going to exit group,

which is where you learn how to kill yourself. We talked about this the first time you were on, yeah. Did we actually? Yeah, yeah. Exit group. Yeah, it's like this guy, this doctor teaches you how to like use a can of gasoline to choke yourself so you don't have to how to use a can of gasoline to choke yourself so you don't have to live anymore.

A can of gasoline to choke yourself? Yeah, it's like barbecues and shit. And you just hook that up to a plastic bag. I love the idea that she thought you didn't know what gas was. And you tried to relate it to you by going, you know barbecues. You fat fuck.

I'm a charcoal man. I like the idea that also she found out she had to have a care and like, I'm going to beat the system. I'm not paying for that shit. I'm going to kill myself. She found out the care was her family and she was like, no fucking way. She was like, Nina, your mum and your uncle and auntie

they're not looking after me Sayonara But I love that It's very honourable It is It's very Japanese I mean she was on the white side Of the family

But that's very like Harakiri She's like fucking I'm out Yeah Big time yeah It's so good But her tongue stopped working So she couldn't even tell anyone

So she was kind of like This is fucked Oh wow Yeah Jesus Seriously if my tongue stops working It's because I've been Too much pussy Seriously if my tongue stops working it's because i've been too much pussy

seriously my tongue stops working i'm out too yeah yeah i love my grandma i think she's a cool bitch yeah yeah my nan had a very slow deterioration it was pretty sad but like the day she finally passed away my dad calls me for calling her a pussy my dad calls me up in the morning and he's like, hey, this happened overnight. We're just at the nursing home now, packing up a room. So I head over there to meet my parents, and this had happened on November the 1st. So I get to the nursing home,

and because the day before had been Halloween, they had decorated the nursing home with all this, like, Halloween paraphernalia. So I walk through the front room, and it's just, like, all these old cunts just sitting around surrounded by like cobwebs and like fake skeletons sitting in seats and shit. Just walking into their future. I was like, this is so inappropriate.

You've got the most natural decoration that you could have for Halloween. Like you do not need a fake plastic skeleton. Also, it's like, oh, imagine dying. Yeah, man. It's probably going to be tomorrow. And not only that, also, like, generationally, like, the 80 and 90-year-olds that are in that nursing home would fucking hate the idea of Halloween. Because it's just this, like, Americanization. Yes.

So they'd be off it just on so many levels. It's just, like, so broadly offensive to everyone in there. Totally. Just this like spider crawling across this old guy's face. Is that a decoration? No, no, that's just,

that's legit. Yeah, yeah. Also, you didn't have to dress this place up to make it look more scary. It's a fucking nursing home. We fucking hate it here. Yeah, and like

the fake cobwebs, like the idea that they forget to take some of those decorations down and then there's like whoever has to come past and like inspect them, whatever, the place gets shut down. They're decorations, we yeah um so then we clean out my nan's room i'm talking to uh i go for i have got breakfast with mom and dad nearby and

mom's just talking about like organizing the funeral for like the next week or whatever and she's like yeah i reckon we'll keep it pretty small just like immediate family cousins and stuff and then she looks at me and she goes, you can bring someone if you want. Oh, nice. Like, who am I going to bring like a fucking date to my nan's funeral?

You know, I'm a baby. As it got closer, I did think about just like, this would be so funny to just take mum up on it. Just get on Bumble,

tee up a date. Oh, mum. Get to Bumble and just be like, what are you doing Thursday at 9am do you want to come out to Clayton's funeral

what a pick up line imagine if you did that and you met someone really cool you brought along and you were like oh man I'm really into her

and she's just like yeah I was into you as well but our first date was at your nan's funeral so it has to be a no sorry no way imagine if that's like that's their wedding speech and they're like he brought me to his nan's funeral on the first date and that's what i knew yeah i think that's you're open with it when

you like you know match up with someone you go oi how do you want a funeral i got a funeral on the go you're coming what's up I've got a story about how we met my nan's funeral is tomorrow baby

dude it's so easy to mock but it is like in this age of like just meeting people on tinder where it's like people's stories of how they met

are often quite boring because they just met through an app what better way to negate that than being like yeah cool come through to a funeral

meet the whole fam not just mum and dad aunts and uncles and cousins as well. Just knock it all off in one hit. Look at my dead gran's corpse in the eyes. Tell her you're going to take care of me. They played Dancing Queen by ABBA as they were taking the coffin out. And I fucking hate ABBA. I was sitting next to my dad and I'm just like...

And he puts his arm around me and he's like, you alright? and I fucking hate ABBA. I was sitting next to my dad and I'm just like... And he puts his arm around me and he's like, you all right? And I'm like, I just fucking hate this song so much. You're like crying and he's like, why God? You're sad and you're like, I just fucking hate ABBA. It's fucking Bjorn. It's just such a shitty song.

And also there's nothing worse than like a slightly funny song and if you. Like, oh, it's a little bit of a cheeky... It's a bit of a contrast, isn't it? It's really happy and upbeat, but this sad thing is happening. Brutal. So then we get driven out to Springfell to do the burial, which is like maybe half an hour drive from

where we'd had the service. And we get driven in this nice old Rolls Royce that the funeral home provide. So we get in. this nice old Rolls Royce that the funeral home provide. So we get in. It's me, mum and dad, the reverend and the guy driving us. We get in this nice old Rolls Royce. And I get in there as a joke. I'm like, hey, man, if we go past a Macca's drive-thru,

could you chuck us through there? Because I am famished. Everyone has a bit of a laugh. And then the driver goes, nah, mate, these cars are too wide to fit through a Macca's drive-thru. And then a beat. And then he turns around and goes, don't ask, these cars are too wide to fit through a Macca's drive-thru. And then it beat and then he turns around and goes, don't ask me how I know that.

It's pretty easy to figure out how he knew that. Yeah, just this guy wedging a Phantom 7 in this, just stuck in a McDonald's drive-thru. Hey, man, you've got to honour people's last meals. The idea that he was full, like, escorting the hearse as well, like that he's in the full procession when he swings through the drive-through, hearse banked up behind him. But that's a good point, Nina.

Like, if that's the last song being played, Abba, you know, that's the equivalent of the nutritional value of the last meal. I want my funeral, I'm putting this on record, I want the whole funeral procession to go through a Macca's drive-thru. Yes. I want that to happen. And everyone orders like 24 nuggets in my honour. The most sombre meals.

An El Macco. Yeah. No, never, never, no. I don't fuck with novelty burgers. Last meal for Greg is the El Macco. It's on special. They're bringing back the El Maco and the Mac Feast. Which means you have to kill yourself at a certain part of the year

when you know that that deal is going to happen. When you know they're going to have that fake guacamole. Everyone comes in. I hate those novelty. I'm going to wait until as soon as the El Maco is gone, that's when you want to send me a text going, are you okay? What about people come in? That's when you want to send me a text going, are you okay? What about people come in?

I'm going to deliver an El Maco and at the open wag put it in your hand. And the worst bit is everyone's going to be like, yeah, it makes sense. People come in and it's like a will reading, but instead of it being like reading out, here's what everyone in the family gets gets it's what you want them to order at the funeral when the procession goes through the drive-thru

that's great and they're like and tell me I bequeathed to you ten nuggets every single one you've paid it in full before you've done it

every single one is a double quarter pounder but you still have to watch me say double quarter pounder to everyone hoping that maybe one of them won't be

a double quarter pounder how shit's that going to be? Like you're being bequeathed all these items on the menu and you're being held up because there's someone going, can you actually switch my order? No pickles. No substitutions, no weird orders. Don't forget the sweet and sour sauce.

Can I make it not medium fries? Can I get a large fries? And then you've just got some 16-year-old going, oh, how do you um Phil how do we change that on the computer how do we do this and you're just

this massive line just being held up all day because you're trying to switch a Fanta out for a Sprite that's my dream meanwhile Greg's ghost just watching it going

this is awesome yeah you're like so proud of my family for hacking the menu looking down from heaven like praise me alright so not into the El Maco People are so proud of my family for hacking the menu. Looking down from heaven with praise be. All right, so not into the El Maco.

I don't like the El Maco. Yeah, I don't think I like it. Yeah, the El Maco can go fuck itself. I don't like any novelty McDonald's burgers. What about the McFeast? I'll do the McFeast if I wasn't a vegetarian. Oh, the McFeast. Yeah, I used to get the McFeast back in the day. It's got fucking beetroot on it.

It's like the McCaws. No, that's the McCaws. The McCaws has beetroot The macaws also has an egg And a fucking pineapple Fuck someone just sobered up I don't think the McFeast I don't think the McFeast has beetroot

I don't think the McFeast has beetroot He literally does I used to work at McDonald's Oh this is fucking Like you Okay I got fired from McDonald's Here we go

For being late Well I got kicked out of it. That was the most boring excuse for getting fired. I thought this is going to be a classic Nina story. Oh, no. It was for being late about like 10 too many times. But to be fair. What were you doing to make you late?

Maybe this will be the interesting bit, Carl. Here we go. I was hungover. Okay. All right. Getting warmer. But also my boss would buy us alcohol. And I think he got in trouble.

Oh, nice. How old were you? 16. Yeah, right. And he was dating a 16-year-old and he was like 24. Nice. And he would buy us all alcohol. Which now I'm like, oh, that guy was definitely a predator.

Yeah, at 16, the cool guy. Yeah, I'm like, oh, Mikey, you're so cool. His name was Michael. Anyways. What were your tricks at McDonald's? Did you ever get any perks? I met Jordan Rodriguez from Dance Academy. Again, I'll say, any perks?

You don't know that? Yeah, I got used to, say, like, if we wanted to dig school, we would go down to my McDonald's I worked at and we get a breakfast-sized bag, the hot cake-sized bag. It's a big bag. So what we do is we put on two big fresh batches of fries. We would just go around the back in our uniforms like no one gave a fuck. Put on two big batches of fries and then we get a hot cake-sized bag

and just load it up to the brim with fresh fries salted. Then we get the Angus seasoning from the back because it's like this salty, steaky seasoning. Put it on the fries, toss that shit up, chuck it all in the breakfast bag, and then we go and sit in the glory jeans. We buy tea for a dollar, get hot tea for a dollar, and we just sit there and six of us would just devour

like about $50 worth of hot chips. Great. That's awesome. That's the dream. Yeah, man. And it was all of hot chips. Great. That's awesome. That's a really good McDonald's story. Yeah, man. And it was all because our boss was a pervert. See, they do have a purpose in society.

Exactly. This is what I've been trying to tell everyone. I once saw my first naked man at McDonald's. Really? Yeah, his name was Javed. He was from Nepal. So his dick was like... Hang on, hang on. Did you find out his name and nationality after he was naked?

No. Everyone at my McDonald's was Nepalese. Oh, right. Okay. So this guy specifically was very naked in the back. We had another guy called David. He was a fellow employee. Yeah, he was a fellow employee.

He worked at the grill. And I was like, fuck, I just saw a dick. I thought it was someone just... Customer. Yeah, exactly. No, that would be sick. Just coming in and saying, everything with a dick. I thought it was someone just. Customer. Yeah, exactly. No, that would be sick. Just coming in and saying, everything with the lot. I need a lot of everything.

But it's like he comes in nude and then announces his name and where he's from. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's nude apart from his name badge. Yeah, yeah. But we also had our other boss, David, used to go in there and he used to jerk off to hentai. And everyone was like, yeah, that's David. Where was he jerking off?

In the toilet. How do you know that? Because someone found hentai on his phone one yeah that's where was he jerking off in the toilet how do you know that because someone found hentai on his phone one time because there's cars out the front he would periodically disappear to the back for like very long stretches of time yeah like david's jerking off to hentai to be fair though if someone's jerking off to hentai they probably have bowel issues anyway i think there's a correlation I think there's a correlation between people who love hentai

he was very slim yeah I should have said that last night when I was getting questioned by the trainers at my gym we weren't doing

anything sass in there I was speeding off to hentai I just looked like I just looked at an octopus and I was like it's time to go so hentai is like

manga porn yeah it's like school girls so is hentai what is it exactly I've never heard of this hentai is like manga porn Yeah It's like schoolgirls So is hentai What is it exactly I've never heard of this Hentai

It's so tough Okay Sorry that I jerk off To normal women I'm so sorry I'm such a fucking nerd Hey the ones in cartoons Are still normal

Okay Yeah it was like cartoons That were like They were involved There was this one game Because he sent it to me Via bluetooth And it was called Bondage Fairies And it was like cartoons that were involved. There was this one game because he sent it to me via Bluetooth and it was called Bondage Fairies and it was just an octopus fucking all these fairies with big tits.

Anyway, how do you think I ended up like this? I've been scarred since I was a little child. He sent that to you via Bluetooth. It was a weird detail to include in the story. Yeah, it was that and then also my friend Ting, when we were 13, she sent me this game called Kama Sutra and it was kind of like Tetris. Kama Sutra, sorry.

It was like Tetris but instead of having to make like blocks fit into each other and create a row, you would have to make like people 69 and they would dance. Oh, here we go. Yeah, yeah. One of my best friends at high school got a saturday's attention because he got caught playing that on his computer yeah it's a good game though because like there's certain things like they wouldn't take butt stuff but they would

take 69ing and they would take like missionary yeah the logic of it was really frustrating yeah i remember like trying to get someone to sit in someone else's lap that wouldn't work yeah yeah but you had to be front facing like if they were front facing in someone else's lap That wouldn't work Exactly, you wouldn't But you had to be front facing If they were front facing in each other's lap It was like, okay, the vagina holes first Okay, good It was very heteronormative I used to

Love it when we talk about gaming on this show I used to play a game called Astro Tits And it was on an old 486, my cousins used to have it Hang on, hang on, hang on Was this a computer game? It was a computer game, yeah Or a game at school, in the schoolyard No, it was real I swear to God, my cousin's used to have it. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Was this a computer game? It was a computer game, yeah. Or a game at school in the schoolyard. No, it was real.

I swear to God, my cousins had it. My older cousins had it. And we go around and I go into the basement and then they play Astro Tits on like the old 486. And it was just at the bottom. There's just a dick. There's just a dick that goes along and it shoots sperms up and there's tits that are falling down, just disembodied tits.

And it's a disembodied dick, so it's just... And it shoots sperms and it blows up the tits. But then you've got to watch out because a condom would land on it. Uh-oh. If a condom landed on it, you'd get a floppy and it'd go... And it would get, like, small

and then you couldn't shoot any sperms. And then if you... So, wait, the condom makes the dick go limp? Yeah. Yes. Yes. Because it needs to feel the sensation, otherwise it's not even worth it.

Exactly. Exactly. And then... An feel the sensation. Otherwise, it's not even worth it. Exactly. An absolute bareback programmer happening right here. Once you get into the game over screen. A lot of propaganda. You get into the game over screen and then there's a code that you can type in, a secret code, and the secret code is sex. Is it Rose? S-E-X.

And then you just see this really crappy animation of just two people fucking just go and I remember my cousins my auntie she looked is this how you learn

about sex by the way as you were growing up is this your first astro tits this is pretty much it and the space program where was that was that on funny junk

or newgrounds or no no no this was like before this was on the 486 this was pre-internet this is an MS-DOS yeah this is

a DOS based game it's just one colour there was a game called fish where you said. This was pre-internet. This is an MS-DOS-based... Yeah, a DOS-based game. It's just one colour. Because I remember there was a game called Fish where you had to play a little fish and you had to eat the other fish. But if you got to the next round, you got to see a topless mermaid. And I was like, fuck yeah.

Yeah. That was like the hottest thing. Yeah, you're always like, fuck. Or you're just like this little orange fish and you had to eat all the other fish. Anyway. So then you watch a bit of pornos on the game over screen. Yeah.

And you're like, what tits belong on a woman? Wait, where did this woman come from? I thought they were just disembodied things. I thought they were like... You shoot them and they explode. That's the point of them. I thought they were like pollen. You know, just a certain time of year they drop from the sky.

Yeah, and I could come on and now there's a woman. A woman? A woman. A woman. So you go around there and your older cousins are like, hey, come into the basement. We've got this cool video game we want to show you. What were you about to say about your auntie?

Oh, no, that's right. She came down once and was like, and this is the crazy thing, right? She came down. She looked at this game and saw us playing it and was like, I don't know about you guys playing this. and then she saw it and then i think it was because it was so crazy like it's astro tits but the dick it's really bad graphics you know and the tits don't really look like nothing really looks like anything so silly yeah and and there's like spaceships in the background and all this kind of stuff and she's like oh i guess that's

okay yeah and then and and my cousins are like yes yes, we got away with it. No, and then I, like the nerd I am, was like, no, you have to show her the secret code. And then he typed in the secret code. And she saw that bit and she goes, no,

that is not appropriate. And I fucked it for everyone. Wow. It's like, no, we have to be honest. Fuck. Did your cousins bash you? That's grounds for an absolute. Yeah. Yeah,. It's like, no, we have to be honest. Fuck. Did your cousins bash you?

That's grounds for an absolute pain in the ass. Yeah, probably. I was, yeah. I like that she's like, yeah, it could be mass invaders, you know? It could just like,

that might be just as a dick looks like a spaceship, those titties over there like aliens. Aunty Marg, come. The secret code is death. Aunty Marg, come back. You secret code is set. Aunty Marg,

come back. You missed out on a big dick you could have seen. Were you the first time you saw a porno then where you're just like, that man's got a spaceship down his pants.

Check out the fucking asteroids on her. No, I just got a stiffy. Classic. You couldn't jack off because you couldn't relate to this weird

non-space. There's no space elements. Nothing's floating. What is this? Yeah, you're like, why isn't my dick going to the moon? Why isn't it looking for undiscovered life forms? Why isn't tits turning up on radar? Well, I reckon that's just about all the time we have this week on the Little Dum Dum Club.

Man, it's, you know, I'd like to say it's zoomed by, but it feels like about three hours. Greg and Nina, thank you very much for joining us. Thank you. Thank you very much. Nina, things to plug. You've got a festival show coming up? Yeah, I've got a show, comedy show.

It's called Nina Oyama is Doing Me Right Now. That's what I called it. What? It's called Nina Oyama is Doing Me Right Now. That's what I called it. What? It's called Ninoyama is Doing Me Right Now. You know how like, it's like, hey, I'm just doing me.

Like, I'm just going to concentrate on doing me. I literally met a girl the other day, and she was like, look, I'm just like, I'm putting the brakes on all my projects. I'm just concentrating on my birthday and like doing me.

And I was like, you lonely bitch. But I literally call my show, Nino Yam is doing me right now, just so all the perverts can be like, cool, I'm going to see Nino Yam is doing me right now. She's doing me. Oh, nice. That's a smart move, just playing to the pervert market. Yeah, trying to get more perverts.

Just trying to get creeps messaging me because I don't have enough. Joke, please don't message me if you are a perv. Literally every day I'm just fending them off with cricket bats. Really? Just batting away those pervs. Shooting those pervs in the sky like ticks. Literally three times a week I ghost a perv. But if you're just a little bit perverted i'll like respond but if you're like

mega perverted i just save it in my message bank and one day i'm gonna release the hound great wow love it and you'll all know yeah didn't you see that thing that i posted where like one guy was like um i can do an arrangement with you i'm i'm aiming to be a stay-at-home dad yes yeah and he was like i'll be a stay-at-home dad and and I've got an arts degree, so you pursue your career and I'll pursue mine. And I was like, you're literally asking me to get a career from comedy to fund you looking after our mutual cat or dog. Yes.

It's very strange. Amazing. That's amazing. Please don't do that. Was there much follow-up on that after you? No, I didn't reply. And then, like, weeks later he was like, so I'm guessing you're not interested based on the lack of response.

And then weeks later, he was like, so what do you think? And I'm like, I'm literally not replying to you, cunt. Oh, damn. Hey, man, if you feel like that way. Can you end it up and just say, if anyone says yes to this, just check back in with me, please. Literally never do it. Like, I would never.

Guys, I have a boyfriend. Plus, you're just doing you right now. Yeah, plus I'm only doing the Euro. Do you know how many people I fucked to get to the Euro? No, I'm kidding. But yeah, no, I love Euro. Yeah, just come. How did Euro come into it?

I don't know. But seriously, people come up to me all the time. They're like, I don't know you, but you know me. Here's my opinion. And I'm like, I don't want. But seriously, people come up to me all the time. They're like, I don't know you, but you know me. Here's my opinion. And I'm like, I don't want to know that. But please come to my show because I'm very sad and weird. And I am a May fan. But maybe by next year I won't.

Oh, wow. A bit of sizzle. Jesus. TBC. Come cream pie this pushy. Pushy. Pushy. Pushy.

I was looking at the Choco Rolls back and I was like, pushy. Pushy. Pushy. Pushy. I was looking at the Choco Rolls back and then I was like, pushy. I can't wait for Greg's spiel for his comedy festival. My show's called I'm a Filthy Cum Slut. Is it actually? No. I did. I did. You know what?

I, like, I, and obviously I don't get a lot of creepy perv messages. Damn. But when I did Mr. Oily on Tonightly, I did. You played a character? No, I... So you... On Tonightly, the TV show, The Deer Departed... Nobody watched it.

On ABC2, it was getting lower ratings than this show. Confirmed. Literally was. I've heard me and Greg were crowd favourites. Crowd being perverts. But you did a character where you were all done up in what you had undies on and that's it. Just undies and writhed around in oil. Yeah, and then you just sort of squirted around on the ground.

Okay, but don't sell yourself short, Greg, because Greg would squirm around in oil and everyone would be like, wow, Miss Oil is fucked. And then you would sit and put your hands to your face like not unlike Mr. Burns and you would provide very beautifully eloquent opinion on the state of Elon Musk for about

10 seconds. And you'd be like, wow, this guy's got a point. And they'd be like, Mr. Oil! So you used to get messages when you were... I got and they'd be like, ah, Mr. Oily! So you used to get messages when you were... I got quite a lot of messages following that, yeah. There's a lot of people in America. Requests for you to visit them, or...?

Do some corporate stuff. Yeah, no, just like, you know, just a lot of, like, hey, sexy and that kind of thing. Wow. Yeah, like, this group, like the Bears of, oregon portland somewhere like yeah they they were like just like you know i got a lot of winky face messages and like how you ever come into america and then a few kind of you know sexy sexy kind of messages um just like we love

mr oylee australian oil with all my housemates my housemates looked at craig the other day and they're like he's a daddy so my housemate i live with three looked at Craig the other day and they were like, he's a daddy. So all my housemates, I live with three gay men. And I think that like they would look at you and be like, he's a daddy. Oh yeah. Nice. Anyway, Craig's a daddy. Go see his play. What's your fucking show?

My show is called... I'm a cum daddy. I'm a cum daddy. Subtitled, This Might Not Be Hell. It's called this and it's a play about the doll. Great. So that's going to be fun. We've got a thespian

in our mix, boys. Well, unfortunately, it's sad to hear that you'll be quitting that show because I found a tweet from this year, from 18th of March, 2019,

where it says, this will be my last comedy festival show if the Herald Sun isn't dropped as a sponsor. And the Herald Sun is still a sponsor this year. Did I say that? It's right there, baby.

Oh, I fucked up. You worm. Oh, well. I knew this was coming. Now, who's the real Mr. Oily? You were hanging on. You were fucking hanging on. I'm cancelling you.

I'm cancelling you and your show. To be fair, I just forgot. I just forgot. You're notcelling you and your show. To be fair, I just forgot. I just forgot. You're not a real fucking socialist, Greg. Oh, man. No, good on him. Good on Bolt. Good on Mark Knight.

Good on the lot of them. No, fuck them. All right, guys. Thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mates. Bye. And they've done it again. Yeah, someone's done it again.

By it means drink another pint of beer. By them, I mean the bartender. And by doing it again, I mean serving Nina. He's serving irresponsibly. Again and again and again by the sounds of things. Yep. That was a fun again by the sounds of things. Yep. That was a fun ep still. It was fun.

One of those things where, you know, behind the curtain, and that's exactly what Talking Dumb Dumb is for, someone comes in in that state. Like, I hope everyone enjoyed listening to it. But for us, I think we probably tense up quite a bit going, how are we going to get through this? How are we going to push through this episode? What are we going to end up with here?

Well, if someone's a little drunk, you never know if it's going to be something that you can kind of have fun with and make the best out of it. Or people can tip very easily into just being indecipherable and hard work. And I thought this was fun. Yes, I did too. I thought we did a good job of weathering the storm. Yes. And managing her. I agree.

In that state sometimes with comedy like you see a comedian on stage get drunk and sometimes they're a funny drunk and sometimes they're not i guess it's like real life like you know at a party or something like that but sometimes you get a bit nervous i've seen that happen before with certain comedians friends of the show on stage before where they're noticeably drunk and you can see people just get really scared on behalf of them. Right. You can see them hold their breath and they're like,

we need, audiences sort of need their hands held sometimes and it's like, we need to know that everything's going to be okay. And that the person

on stage is in control of what they're doing. Yes. People need to feel like they're in safe hands and if they seem sloppy then it's fair that the audience goes,

oh, this might be shit. Yeah, we can't trust this person. Yeah. Which I think would happen in a lot of life but yeah, with comedy it seems sloppy, then it's fair that the audience goes, oh, this might be shit. Yeah, we can't trust this person. Yeah. Which I think would happen in a lot of life. But yeah, with comedy, it's like, no, we're not going to trust you unless – it's like even with competent or incompetent comedians, you need to show that you're in safe hands. You need to show that we can trust you.

But I think that was fine. Hopefully, we're just overthinking it. No, I think that was fine. Hopefully, we're just overthinking it. No, I think it was fun. I mean, certainly for me, I had spent this day doing four hours of recording for the other podcast that I do. So, this was kind of like a nice thing to come into of just this like completely different energy and something a bit insane happening. Definitely helped my mental state of feeling absolutely fried from the amount of talking I'd done beforehand. So, I was like, cool, this is something different to interact with and bounce off. Great.

Yeah. And Merry Christmas, everyone. Yes. Is this, yeah, this literally is Christmas Day, isn't it? If it's coming, if you'll, if you'll see. On the day it's coming out. If you'll listen to it as it's come out, it is Christmas Day right now. So, hope you're, you know, hope you you're in case you're sitting around the christmas dinner

table and you're not really one for um you don't like your family very much and you just put your uh iphone in the middle of the um turkey and just play it and you're all enjoying it over christmas dinner that wouldn't be too bad you if i don't know if you've ever been around people where you know you're at a picnic or whatever and someone's like does anyone have a bluetooth speaker and there's always a person that's like no i don't have one don't need it and there's like people like to think that if you put the if you just play out of the phone speaker and put it in a cup that's going to amplify it enough yeah that's the next level of that the person that's like no no no it's like no we're at the house we have a speaker no no no we don't need it just ram ram it in the turkey. And they're like, oh, you idiot.

Haven't you seen, haven't you read the article? It's like the stuffing like actually absorbs the noise. Big article in Wired magazine about how to get the best sound out of a turkey. Yeah, yeah. Use it with a chicken, not a turkey, you fucking idiot. I will be, at this point, I will be at the beach with my family. At this stage, you will be in Hawaii with your family. I will be.

And you might be absolutely balls deep in a native. I definitely will not be at this point because of the time difference. It will still be December the 24th. Right. Okay. I'll be getting ready for it. You might be in training. Right. Okay. I'll be getting ready for it. You might be in training. Yes.

The role I've been training for for a lifetime. So later in the day. Yeah. So that's exciting. This is the last time we will talk to each other before we find out if I'm going to be $20 shy and you're going to be $20 up. $20 light in the pocket. Personally. Yeah. And you'll be 20 mil light in the pocket. Personally. Yeah.

And you'll be 20 mil light in the ball bag. Yes. 20 million liters. Oh, what? Out the door. Wow. You're quite a Niagara Falls of sperm. Yeah.

Yeah. This is the last time we're going to talk before I go. We're doing this like a week or so before it comes out. Hawaii. I've been invited to a wedding in hawaii next year you've talked about it yeah never never been uh never been there before i think my wife definitely wants to go she loves hawaii do you know when it is? I think it's in October. Okay. Yeah. So, yeah, let me know. Maybe give me a...

Maybe, can you make yourself make me a little report of the pros and cons for what you think I would like and dislike about it? Okay. I'm going to say already you wouldn't like it because stuff costs more than a dollar. Okay. Alright, we'll save this for the report.

Put it together with a pro. I won't know until I'm there. Put it with a pro. Okay. All right. Yep. The food sounds great. I'm really looking forward to the food.

All right. Nice. Well, I'm happy to be guided by you. If you can put yourself, if you can, in the mind of me and see what you think about the island report back and let me know sure how i would find it yep that'd be good great sex singles clubs were awesome tinder went off yeah you and your wife would love it nice head down nice great all right that'll be good um uh quickly uh we have live shows on sale we are going back to Brisbane yep

on the dates of March the 15th March 15th March 15th we are doing a both our live stand up plus a live podcast

tickets are going very quickly if not nearly gone by now I assume yeah we're doing this a bit in advance so who knows

they were selling super quickly at the time that we're recording this they may be gone already who knows better have were selling super quickly at the time that we're recording this. They may be gone already. Who knows? Better have a look. Let us know if you missed out.

We'll see what we can do. And, of course, we broke the massive bombshell last week on the show that we are going back to Adelaide to do a stand-up show each. Yep. Back-to-back stand-up shows each. This is your little chance to make good with us, to make friends with us again, to buy tickets really quickly. Suck up.

Change what we think and what the listeners think, what the rest of the country, because you know what? I know we do like a bit of a negative ad on Adelaide because of how you've treated us over the years, okay? We just do a bit of a report on you of how you've treated us. That goes out to all the listeners around the country,

around the world. You did this to you, Adelaide. Yes. You made your own reputation. Look what you made us do. So this is how you fix it. Yep. If you can come back and give us a bunch of flowers

and treat us nice and give us a cuddle. Oh, yeah, bring flowers. Yeah. This will be the first time we've done these solo stand-up shows. Yes. It's opening night. Yes. It'd be nice to have the dressing room just chock-a-block with bouquets of flowers saying,

good luck, fellas. That'd be great. Chookers. We are happy to run a new tourism campaign for Adelaide if this is just an absolute dream run. Yeah. If we get over there, we've been brought presents. We're sold out immediately um everything goes our way i want the stage full of flowers i want everyone in there

to bring us flowers it's every joke it's a standing ovation it's like you guys just want to really turn this around the south australian tourism council gets gets on board with this and goes fuck this is our way of getting out to tens of thousands of listeners around the world. Make Adelaide – you know, Adelaide just spent a lot of money. South Australia spent a lot of money on a tourism campaign that was a little bit indecipherable. Now, you don't have to spend that much on buying – selling the show out. No. Buying flowers and chocolates, little presents, thoughtful gifts.

Big teddy bears that are holding a little love heart that say, I love you. Yes. Things of that nature. Yeah. Maybe cheerleaders. Yep. You know, just paying some people to strip of grams maybe. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Just all nice positive things. Maybe the after party. Maybe fill up a hot tub with chocolate mousse oh yeah um something like that that would be that'd be pretty good you know we're not asking for much maybe drive you to get a chauffeur for you from the hotel to the gig and it's like a little mario kart car or something that put you in there a chauffeur that's driving me around in a go-kart yeah a tandem go-kart you would like that would you sure if you had like a mar a chauffeur that's driving me around in a go-kart yeah a tandem go-kart you would like that would you sure if you had like a mario chauffeur that picked you up i like playing it i don't like

i don't want my whole life to be okay but it would show that there's a bit of love there that they've like gone oh well tommy loves this maybe you know the personal touch it's like every now and then when i've had and my parents will say this to me and you know when i've had partners and whatever and it comes up to christmas or birthday they're like you're really hard to buy gifts for and i think i'm pretty like i you know my interests are pretty like big and obvious things i think it's the opposite right i think i'm easy to buy for because i like very big dumb stuff yeah, but your mum and dad can't go and buy you. Okay, well, we found this game called Super Mario Brothers. Yeah, but have a punt.

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. It's – No, I'm not faulting them. It's just like when people say you're hard to buy for. I think that, you know, I have pretty big and obvious interests. So I don't think I'm necessarily hard to buy for.

I don't know. I mean, I think that always – to me, it's like that like that always presumes god you're just such a close what's he into we have no idea what he likes yeah but i think that you the things you're into get a bit specific and it's like okay well you're into your music and your video games and stuff like that it's like well we don't know what you've got and what you haven't got or what you like and what you don't like it's like you get to a point where also like you've got the disposable income to buy the things that you want yeah so yeah yeah it would be yeah i i don't you know my parents don't have that same sort of thing where it's like i'm buying them you know a book on nature and they're like oh fuckhead i've already fucking got this one

yeah okay well i'll tell my parents this year. It's not too late. We're recording this in advance. Maybe by the time you're hearing this, it's nearly Christmas. It's Christmas Eve where I am in Honolulu with mum and dad. Maybe they're looking into getting a young Hawaiian man to drive me around Honolulu in a go-kart. Yes, perfect. What do you get the man who has everything?

Well, you know, it's that thing when you get older and you sort of go, oh, you're not that into getting presents. Right. I'm certainly not into. No. I'm like, oh, who cares? Yeah.

You know, if my parents or my wife say, oh, what do you want? I'm like, I don't care. I don't want anything. It's fine. Yeah. It's nice when someone just like takes a punt without asking you and they nail it. That's a nice feeling. Someone rocking up.

It's like, hey, you'd like this. Yeah. And you're like, you're absolutely right. I love this. This is very thoughtful. Thank you. Yes. But in terms of being asked, what do you want?

It's like, I mean, stuff I want. I don't want to tell you and make you go to the shop and get it for me. Yes. And I'll get that myself. I'm fine. Yeah, exactly. But what that does breed is this, is that then they'll go, okay, well, I'll just get you whatever.

And then you end up with this shit thing that they've spent money on. Yes. And you go, ah, fucking hell. And it actually gets me pissed off. I'm like, you've wasted money on this because I don't want this. Yes. And you've spent money on this. Mm-hmm.

You know, I really wish, in hindsight, I had have said, oh, I'll have this. If you have to buy something, here's the information. But I also don't want to do that in any way i know so i'd rather just not get anything it's brutal yeah yeah anyway um or maybe just broad stuff you know what like that's the event that's the reason gift vouchers were invented fucking good i mean they're not romantic at all no but it's it's good yeah my parents always just like give me cash for a birthday or christmas and that's fine that's it's like it's good whatever it's good because you can then just get what you want but it still is just

like you know it then just feels like the next thing that i do with my account is let's say i pay a bill or rent comes out it's hard not to feel like well that's where that money went well i try and i try and if my parents ever do that and that's what what my mum's more of a fan of these days, I really don't feel like taking money as a very grown man off my parents. But then if that happens, I then go, right. I keep that aside in my wallet and go, that's for something that I have to get, then I have to tell my mum about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then we have a bit of tradition of like being with the parents, both sets of parents on Christmas Day and then we'll go to the Boxing Day sales

and then try and use that money on stuff and then immediately report back and go, this is what we bought. This is what you got me in the end. Yes. So thank you for getting me this. Yes. And just get that out. So yeah, totally.

I don't have to go back to my mum and go, thanks for all the water you got me this year for the last quarter. Yeah, totally. Hot and cold. Thank you very much for that. So we're back in Brisbane, back in Adelaide. We're back in Melbourne. Again, just very quick, a little bit of information.

We are doing two shows on Saturday afternoons in April. Go to the website. Fourth and 11th. Fourth and 11th, yeah. So just a limited season in April. Go to the website. 4th and 11th, yep. So just a limited season in April this year. There are little afternoon shows. Usually we do four or five. We're only doing two this year. To keep our powder dry for the big 500th episode,

that is on April 25 at 8.30pm. There are still tickets available in the upper tiers. Yep. It's going to be one hell of a show. Big time. There's going to be one hell of a show. Big time. There's going to be an after party. Of course, we'll give more information when it comes to hand,

when we get closer, all of that sort of stuff. But, yeah, man, I'm looking forward to the after party as much as the normal show, to be honest. Yeah. It's going to be a big day. It'll be great. Yeah. Very exciting. Yep.

All right, that's all of our um oh you know what um let's tackle this i a couple weeks ago i i put it out there on the the social medias if um people had any questions and i asked you a question and um i think you took it reasonably well um it was about um your your love life um i don't you – I think you just rolled with that pretty smoothly. I think that all went pretty okay. Yep. I agree. Yeah, good, good.

I think all things considered, I handled it quite well. You didn't – no one saw, but Tommy gave me three thumbs up then. Yeah. So – What was the third thumb, I wonder? That's some comedy happening right now. So I took to social media the other day and I asked if anyone else had any specific questions for Tommy. So would you like to field some of those now?

I would like to keep this brief. Okay. I have a lot to get done today and we've already done way too long yep okay well you know let's just go with the question and you just give a quick answer and i don't have to jump in you can just give a straight you promise there'll be no jumping in i'll do my absolute best all right here we go uh here's one i'm not going to say who they're from because you know that we we name people in the patrons section of the show. Oh, that's a free read otherwise.

It's just a free hit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No. Please ask the Eggman what his favourite sex position is and also what his most used one is. That's actually a genuinely good question. I've talked to... Fucking hell.

Wait, TMI. I've talked about this before. I think we've talked about... Fucking hell. Wait, TMI. I've talked about this before. I think we've talked about this with Kappa because he famously has a routine where he talks about how boring the 69 is. Yeah, which is ridiculous. Absolutely disagree. Yeah, totally.

I don't know why he sets it up like that, but I think we made him change that or at least we made him give it a bit more context, I think. Because he used to just get out there with his routine and go, you know how 69s are really boring I think we made him change that, or at least we made him give it a bit more context, I think. Right. Because he used to just get out there with his routine and go, you know how 69s are really boring and expect people to agree? And they absolutely didn't. We thought it was just assumed knowledge. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, no, that's out there. Yeah. Anyway, so is that your favorite or the most used one? That's a fave. That's a big fave.

A fave. It's in the top 20. Oh, jeez. that's not really the answer but anyway yep most used i mean probably it's boring to say but probably a bit of the old missionary it's hard to go past the classics classic you know it's classic for a reason you know it's like we've talked about before Things get called vanilla as if that's a negative thing. Yeah. Tastes good.

It's a good flavor. Yeah. I could eat vanilla every day. Yeah. Yeah. There's some fruity flavors out there. Probably couldn't do every day. Nice as a treat.

Like anal. Yeah. You know, couldn't eat anal ice cream every day. Well, you know, you go down to Messina. You're feeling a bit fancy. You know, you ask for two scoops of reverse cowgirl in a waffle cone, and you know, those first couple of bites are great, and you know, you've had a good time doing it, but you're like, God, I couldn't do this every day.

No, totally. You're a bit overwhelmed by the end of it. You're like, oh, I need to lie down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I was already lying to, oh, I need a cold shower. I thought, oh you alone down? So you weren't the one that was sitting up in the reverse cowgirl? No.

Right. Okay. Okay. What is going on in your bedroom? All right. Great. That's an answer. Here we go.

Has Tommy ever thought of video games mid-route? No. No. That's an easy one. When is funny fellas getting pitched to tv as a silent partner i'm getting worried it will never happen very silent partner because i don't think we've received any kind of funds or indeed anything from anyone outside of the little dum-dum club llc yeah oh and i'm going through the messages that this guy has sent us i've never had any other mention of of the show right right from this guy um when that. I've never had any other mention of the show. Right, right.

From this guy. That's got to be the priority for the start of the new year. It's starting to work out what we do with the funny fellas. Is this our New Year's resolution? New Year's resolution is to... That's been lying dormant. That's been kind of a dormant thread on the show for too long now. Right, okay.

Let's get a... We've got to work out what we... Yeah, what's the... What are we're gonna work out what we yeah what's the what what are we what's the next move what's the next move with it i mean the next move would be obviously something instead of nothing yes instead of talking about it for five minutes every couple of months well i feel like we you know we were happy to i personally felt like happy to kind of keep it it sort of simmers away in the background every now and then we stumble across a new character idea so we were having these very kind of free-form writing sessions on the show right where every

now and then we'd be like you know what that's another great new character for the funny fellas i feel like we've gotten we've probably got just about enough of them now right to get going on let's get them down on paper maybe that's the 2020 aim is to get it down on paper start start brainstorming maybe maybe start filming. A lot of stuff's online now. You don't just go walk into Channel 10 and say, here's the script, yes or no. Maybe we need to get something on. Proof of concept.

Maybe we need to get a Funnyfellas YouTube channel going. I think that's a good idea. And get a bit of action out there. Maybe look at the characters and maybe start casting them amongst our friends and seeing what we can do with people. Maybe this silent partner can be a little bit less

fucking silent for once and give us... Upgrade the vocal partner, mate. Yes. Help us get a bit of a rundown of... So here's the ones I can remember that we've got ready to go. Stone Santa.

Yep. Classic. Dr. Bitch. Yep. The Ejaculating Bush. Yes. Those are the three I can remember. Okay.

There's probably one or two in there. I think there's one or two more. There's probably a couple more that I've missed, but let us know. Yep. All right. Let's rattle through these questions. Hi, Carl. Talk about Liverpool and then segue to asking if Tommy hooked up with anyone in England

when you guys were there. So Liverpool are top of the league as we speak. We went to England this year. That reminds me, Tommy, you were in England. Did you hook up with anyone in England when we guys were there? No. Okay, next question. Oh, now this guy's at it again.

Now the guy that sent the question last week. The motocross enthusiast. Yes, exactly. The horny motocross enthusiast. Exactly. The guy said, asking if Tommy's been having intercourse with any stunners, which I find is just, it's a beautiful use of language. To be like, not sex and not fucking, but have you been having any intercourse with

any stunners? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you been having mad roots with any elegant dames? Here's the next question. Now, riding high off the back of last week. A bit greedy. Yeah. Please, sir, may I have some more?

He's asked two more. Oh, this is rich. This is... First question, has Tommy been slaying any bush pigs? He said, sorry, that may upset him again, but we need to know the truth. No, see, that I'm fine with. Right. You don't take offense by that at all.

No. Right, okay. So... No. No. No bush pigs being slayed. Right. And we're doing a tiny bit of doubling up here,

but he's then followed up with, what age did Tommy lose his virginity? I'm guessing 23. Also, what's his favorite position? Well, half of that's already been answered. Yes. I was... I'm trying to do the maths.

I was 15. Oh, that's massive. Yeah. 23. Get the fuck out of here. How old were you when you put your dick in the tailpipe of your fucking motorbike, you fucking crusty demon cunt? Fuck out of here with 23, you bitch.

Go buy a Comptown t-shirt, you fucking nerd, you fucking incel idiot. Does that get your motor running? Where was this the other week? It was all there. Well, I think you've answered that one quite well. Any more brain busters? All right. We've got time for one more.

We really don't. Really quickly. Really quickly. This will be an easy one for you. How many pingers did Tommy eat at Meredith? I don't do pingers, so none. Right. That was a part of my life that I had to retire once I got diagnosed as having high blood pressure.

Oh, really? This would be greatly irresponsible. Now, do I sometimes bend that logic with other things that almost definitely equally as bad for having high blood pressure? Right. Sure. Yep. That's very responsible. Any doctors out there would absolutely agree with you, I'm sure.

All right. Let's crack into business. Yeah. Let's get down to bloody brass tacks. We're racing against the clock. You've got stuff to do, and I really am hoping we can get this done before my baby wakes up.

Yes. Right, so, of course, this is a part of Talking Dumb Dumb where we thank everyone for contributing to patreon.com slash littledumbdumbclub because it is the only thing that is keeping this show going. And plenty of you do that, and we are very thankful for that this is our job you are our uh bosses in a way

and of course what we would do with our boss is to keep them happy and like like any workplace what keeps the boss happy is to just say their name out loud. Not do any work, but just say their name out loud and hang shit on that sometimes. Yep. Like any good boss. Like any good employee. Yep.

Okay, let's crack on. And feel free to subscribe if you enjoy the show and if you're just greedy and want bonus things like a bonus episode every month, a bonus magazine every month and your chance to have your name immortalized

within the show. Let's crack on this week. It's a race against the clock. If we can just do as many as we can before my baby waking up, before Blanket wakes up. Let's see how many we can get out. She might be in a deep sleep or

she might wake up any second. Let's see. Thank we can get out. Yep. She might be in a deep sleep or she might wake up any second. Let's see. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Andrew Ozarek. Ozarek. Yeah, I fucked it. O-W-C-Z-A-R-E-K. How would you cope with that one? Anything?

That just really got me. Just really having three brutal cracks and then just going, yeah, I fucked it. You know what? I do a little bit of work. I try and make sure I've got it in my head before I start, and I absolutely did not do that with this one. You know, sometimes you're up against it, too. It's not your fault that this guy's a fucking...

Hazarek. Just named after a fucking brutal round of Scrabble. Yeah, totally. Totally. You've never... Now, this guy's definitely... Now, I feel like I say this a lot on the show. Polish.

You think everyone's Polish. I know. I think everyone's Polish. What kind of numbers do you think we're getting over there? I'm seeing a lot of downloads coming out of Warsaw. That's what I see. That would be great. I haven't checked the stats in a long time.

It's like I go in and it's like you just assume Australia probably the most. Just, yeah, Poland. Yeah. All of a sudden we realise we should definitely be doing a live show in Warsaw. Yeah, it counts for 85% of our global downloads. O-W-C-Z-A-R-E-K. Alzarak. Alzarak?

Alzarak? Alzarak? Look, I feel like I'm being very rude about the listeners this week, but I'm going to say this. Who cares? Oh. Who cares how you say it? I care.

I've got a record. You know what? This this fucking australia mate love it or leave it or if you're not here don't come don't come yeah change your name before you come yeah change your name to fucking smith right andrew smith don't be turning up with this bullshit passport andrew wallaby before you get here exactly Exactly. Man, I'm going to be a good cop because I've put on record before, I think the Polish best-looking race in the world. And again, people say I get in trouble for saying race. They're not a race of people. Whatever they are, nationality. Whatever the fuck they are.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to have sex with it. Yes, with it. Yeah. You're right. Reverse cowgirl. Yeah. Me on top.

No. No. That's not true. Yes, with it. Yeah. You're right. Reverse cowgirl. Yeah. Me on top. No. No. That's not true. That's not, no. You can't, that's a very hard thing to do as a man. Big time. With a woman.

I'm just now mentally trying to picture the logistics of it. Yeah. Some real tough turf happening there. You'd need to be, you'd need to have done a lot of yoga. Yeah. You'd need a high'd need to be you'd need to have done a lot of yoga yeah you'd need a high degree of flexibility yeah you need to not be too fussed about your junk getting fucking bent out of shape exactly yeah i'm not sure i'm into that um but the polish never

you know i'm married now it's one of my big regrets never having been with a pole. Big regrets? Yeah. That would be a good part of every wedding if the bride and groom both had to get up there and say, what are your big regrets? Yeah. Now that it's a new chapter begins, but you can't begin a new chapter without putting a full stop on the previous chapter. Yeah, well, maybe that's why you… What are your big regrets?

People I never… Racists I never had sex with. Racists, yeah. Just up in front of your friends and family in a tux going, God, it would have been great to fuck a pole

before I marry my wife. Maybe you don't phrase it like that. You don't say, my great regrets. Maybe you go, this is how in love with my wife I am. These are the things

I'd love to have done. But I went, fuck it. I've drawn a line under it. I keep thinking about it, but I'm never going to do it. But this is what I'm happy to go without to make sure that this is my life. Yeah. Number one, I want to fuck someone from Poland.

I mean, I bet there's been someone who's done something to that degree in their vows or something. Well, there would be some gnarly stories about people getting up and talking. Life's been going a long time. A lot of people are fucking idiots in this world. Yes. It surely must have happened, something similar. Yeah. Yeah.

I reckon we'll hear from a listener who's been at a wedding where something absolutely inappropriate has happened in the vows. Yeah. Someone just talking about a previous conquest or potential conquest as they're paying tribute to their soon-to-be wife or husband. Yeah. I had a girlfriend once where, or seeing a girl, where her parents, on their wedding night,

the groom snuck out and rooted someone else on the wedding night. Well, I mean, that's pretty common, I feel like. Is it? People cheating on the wedding day. I feel like you hear stories about that all the time. That's common. Not common, but like, I feel like that's a thing that you hear about pretty regularly.

I don't hear about it very regularly. People being dodgy on their wedding day. Oh, I don't. Like like how have you got time like you you literally like you know you're busy you're getting you're getting photos you're you're with the you're you're bright all day you've you've got party well let's say you've been let's say you've been having an affair long term and the person you've been having the affair with is at the wedding you know you sneak off to the toilets or whatever okay i can see a scenario in which that happens relatively easily i feel like if that was a case the person you're having an affair with it's not really that up for it if she in this case she's at the wedding and seeing all of this

happen and then going oh yeah i wouldn't mind rooting him after he's committing to someone else. But, I mean, I think that what comes into it is that there's that element and I think this is what happens when people cheat in general is it's like the excitement of potentially getting caught. It's like this is so naughty. This is so taboo. There literally could not be a worse time for us to be doing this. Sure.

The stakes are so high yep if anyone comes into this cubicle in at any point here oh now it's in the cubicle shit is gonna absolutely hit the fan right that i imagine if you're if you're doing that if you're into that that's a big part of what's getting you know it's like having sex in a public place it's like oh anyone could come in at any moment anyone could catch us it's like that fear that excitement having sex on someone else's wedding day. That is, yeah, look, I can, now that I look at it like that, I can see that people would be excited by that.

It's pretty fucked in the head, but. It's big time fucked in the head. Yeah. But I can understand. Yeah. I can understand the mentality. Yeah, I get it. Yeah.

I get it. Thanks, Andrew. Thanks, Andrew. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Cooper Wilcox. I love it. Unfortunately, it's W-I-L-C-O-X. Yeah, I know. I think I've seen this name on the socials a couple of times.

But you know what? The X at the end makes me like it even more. Oh, really? Because it's like a third of triple X. Yes. It's of triple X. Yes. So it's like you lose... What you lose in it being the actual word cock, you gain in it being one third of the description of the most rotten porno on God's green earth. The coolest form of cinema that's ever been breathed life into.

Yes. We're talking about the Vin Diesel franchise, right? What, you know, like pornos will be labeled like triple X. If something's just X, does that mean you just see it going like a little bit? You see the knob going. Yeah. I wonder if there is a grading, actual like this is a governing body that has to work out how many x's or i wonder if there's like people who make porn that are trying to

invent quadruple x porn trying to do whatever they can to bust into the next to invent the new category i'm just can't get it i'm more interested in what double x is just to see what's slightly more uh slightly held back yeah yeah just hold back a little bit yeah yeah just like okay maybe don't like i don't know what what do you what do you hold back from in a porno like just a little bit because it's like you know there's those versions that used to get in video shops where it was like porn, but you wouldn't see it go in. Everything's obscured. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Maybe it's just like you don't see the guy cum in the two acts. That's one thing you could hold back. Yep. That would probably be it. Yeah. No anal. No anal. Oh, God, no.

No. Right. So no cum shot, no anal, and no dirty talk no swearing i'm not a prude in any way but i'm feeling a bit ill for some reason um how cooper cooper wilcox just trying to walk backwards to figure out how we got here. Pornos. Seen any good pornos lately, Tommy? Not really?

Not really. I mean, there's stuff that's getting the job done, but nothing that's really leapt out. No, no, no. We should do a porno review. That'd be good. Nothing heading into the bookmarks. Right. You know, nothing that I'm like, oh, I'd come back to that. Right. Do you have anything bookmarked? No. porno review that'd be good nothing nothing heading into the bookmarks right you know nothing

that i'm like oh i'd come back to that right do you have anything no anything old bookmarked no i feel i feel bad because um not bad but i feel like this is notable in some way i feel like you'd enjoy this in some way in that um you know we've we we haven't done red dead for a long time read an episode of red dead for a long time. But that creation is, I guess, an exaggeration of me and that idea of people in their late 30s, early 40s doing that thing where they're stuck in their taste to some degree with music. So Red Dead is still into fucking uh mighty mighty boss tones

and yeah stuff like that uh and you know i'm like that certainly to a degree musical taste but i would say i'm actually like that with with pornos like they're the stuff that you liked from when you were like 20 is what you like? Yeah. Yeah. So I will still look at occasionally at stuff from that era. Wow. Yeah. Really going back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Interesting.

So it's like, oh, don't give me any of this millennial porn. Right, right. I can't follow it. I do. I mean, I don't mind. Yeah, a good old hop back in the time machine. Yeah. A completely different era

Bit more tasteful Bit more elegant And it And it does It literally does make you feel Old sometimes when you find it And it's like Oh yeah classic porn stars

It's like Oh god This It's like It's like listening to your favourite band They pop up on Gold FM Right Oh god really

Yeah yeah yeah Raging in some of the Sheena on Gold FM now? Fuck, I know. That's brutal. Yeah. Or classic. Don't call it classic when I'm watching full-on, like, double anal. Is that...

Where do you find these, though? Oh, you just look up... Classicporn.com. No, no. I don't search for... I don't look on the website. I search for performers. Okay.

So, performers. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I've never been... Yeah, I've never been one for, like, knowing any on the website. I search for performers. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah. Well, I've never been one for knowing any of the performers by name. Well, it was more of a star system back then. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. These days, not so much, I don't believe. Not that I'd know.

Well, thanks, Cooper. Thanks, Cooper. Thank you to Patreon subscriber. Wow, this is interesting. Here we go. I'll be interested in your take on this. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Dave Cullen. Dave Cullen.

Cullen. Cullen. D-A-V-E-C-U-L-L-E-N. Dave Cullen. He sounds a lot like a Scottish friend of the show of ours being pronounced by our Scottish friend of the show. Hello, Dave Cullen. Hello, I'm Dave Cullen here. I'm Dave Cullen.

I'm from Glasgow. I'm a big idiot. I wear a kilt. I wear a dress because I'm a woman. A Scottish lass. I'm a McNinja. I fuck Loch Ness. You're right Not the monster

Just he sticks his dick In a big body of water Yeah yeah yeah He goes fishing with his dick To try and catch The Loch Ness monster That'd be funny A guy who's like

I've got proof That the Loch Ness monster exists And I'll tell you Something else for free I had sex with it Here's my proof DNA my dick. Exactly. I haven't showered yet. Swab my dick

and you'll be able to find conclusive evidence that the Loch Ness Monster exists. And, not only that, it fucks. Yeah. Well, I'm a bit embarrassed because my proof is I got an STD off a sea creature. That's my proof. I got AIDS from the Loch Ness Brutal

Yeah, Dave Cullen Dave Cullen Interesting name That is bizarre That you've got such a similar That's like, you know Do you think he gets this often? Yeah, I don't know

You're just swapping a vowel To get someone different Full on Yeah, I don't know Would he get that very often? Probably not I'm going to say this And not to say that this is the greatest riff of all time

But it's certainly the most interesting thing that's ever happened with this name Right, yes Dave Car time, but it's certainly the most interesting thing that's ever happened with this name. Right, yes. Dave Cullen. Yeah, it's fair. What a fucking snooze fest. Right. He should be giving Dave Cullen money,

because if Cullen didn't exist, this guy would have nothing. Yeah. This guy's name would have nothing going on. Imagine if we didn't know Dave Cullen and we just hear that, Dave Callan. What the fuck would we be doing right now? We wouldn't have come up with that great Loch Ness bit. Yeah. Well, I wonder if he cops it that much because, you know, no offense to Dave Callan, our friend, but, you know, he's not on TV a lot or radio and stuff that much.

I would say this is maybe the first time that this man has ever heard this. Right. Yeah, fair enough. He's, you know, Dave Cowan's busy. He does a lot of gigs. He's certainly busy. You know, he's certainly busy telling me that, you know, if he's ever on a cruise ship, he's like, oh, this is like the one I do for a year.

And then I just see him online on about 50 of them. So he's a big one for trying to tell you what he does for a living. But whether the truth is that, I don't know. Yep. Yep. There's no shame in doing cruise ships. A lot of our friends do cruise ships. I mean, we wouldn't fucking touch them.

But, you know, I mean, we're. I'd probably do one if I got asked. Oh, really? Would you? I'd be interested to do it to see, you know, to see what it was like. Right. I strongly suspect that I would not have a good time. Yeah.

But you don't know until you try it. Yeah, I wouldn't trust myself. Might even be good. There are – look, people – listeners of the show do go on cruise ships. I know that. And look, certainly cruise ships have changed over the years, the reputation of them. Big time. Because it used to be comedians would go on cruise ships with just old has-beens, and

that was it. They couldn't get gigs anywhere else, so they'd go out into the high seas. Now they have young has-beens as well. Yes, and never will-bes, like many friends of the show. But I think they've really tried to market themselves as a younger choice now. Man, cruise ships have really taken off. I know that for a fact. Numbers have gone right up, and it's just an easy thing

where you can go even as a young family go out and take your kids and whatever it's all taken care of for you yeah so they get younger bands on younger comedians so a lot of friends of ours are now doing cruise ships there's a lot of like lineups for cruises that you see where you're like wow that's a fucking great show exactly now that's what i was going to say like the old days would be you there's one one old seahorse that's sent out to perform to the great unwashed bogans on a cruise ship. Yep. These days, there are certain comedy cruises where there are massive names and there might

be like 10, 12 really good comedians. Now, I wouldn't mind hiding on one of those lineups. Hang out. Yeah. Yeah. I'd still do a spot but not have to be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because a lot of the times These comedians go out there And do an hour

Or two hour shows And then do a kids show For an hour And all this stuff No no no I'll jump out in a boat And do ten minutes or something That's all

But then you're hanging With that crew Awesome Yeah that would be Because also the other thing Is some of them That you see There are still some ones

Out there where you see Like there'll be One of our friends Or two of our friends Yeah And then the rest of the Line up is just brutal. Yes.

You'd want to know that you had a good hang. I know. I truly think I would lose my mind a bit. Oh yeah. Just the isolation factor for like the three days. Yeah. Or five days or something. Or however long it is.

Yeah. I think I would start to go a bit nuts. I would start to get a bit of cabin. I'd feel very claustrophobic. Yeah. But you know, I'd still like to do it. I'd still be interested to see what it's like. I'm with you. I'd be interested to to go a bit nuts. I would start to get a bit of cabin fever. I'd feel very claustrophobic. But, you know, I'd still like to do it. I'd still be interested to see what it's like. I'm with you.

I'd be interested to see what it's like. I don't think I'd get claustrophobia or cabin fever or anything like that. I think I'd enjoy the isolation, being away from the internet. There's a gym there on the boats. Gym would be – There's no excuse not to do it. Then there's the buffet And stuff That's pretty good

If you've got mates on there If I'm with a crew And I'm doing Well at the gigs Yeah I think I'd be fine Without The internet factor

Yes But if I'm not doing well At the gigs And I don't have mates around Like not being able To hit up anyone at home Yep And just vent

Or have some kind of outlet, I would spiral. Yeah, yeah. I would absolutely spiral out there. Because the other thing is that people talk about as comedians on the boat is that you become, you know, you walk off stage. It's not like here where you bomb a gig and then walk home and go, oh, the end. Never see you cunts again. You see them for the next five days.

So then you've got to walk around. And also, you have a name tag on. Yeah, totally. You're forced to wear a name tag. Exactly. It's like, remember me? The cunt that was no good last night or the night before? I mean, I spiral here if it's 1 a.m. and I can't sleep

and there's no one online to talk to, let alone out on the high seas, bombing my little ass off every night. Yeah. Anyway, thanks, Dave. Thanks, Dave. Thank you to Patreon subscriber. Thanks, Dave.

Call him. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Samuel Hiller. Hiller. H-I-L-L-A-R? E-R. E-R. Hiller. Yeah.

Okay. So is this guy trying to pull one over on Adam Hills? It's like you think you're pretty good. You're a hill. You think you're two hills. Well, guess what? I'm Healer. Right.

Yeah. That is. Yuck. That is. That's basically call yourself Mountain Man. You know? That's what Healer is. That's very true.

Samuel Mountain. That's very, very true. Yep. Sammy M. Samuel Mountain. That's very, very true. Yep. Sammy M. Sammy Mountain. I like that. I've just seen this huge, you know, people talking about scaling Mount Everest and you've been like, well, you know, it's really just a big hill, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah. Trying to sound tough. Yeah. What is a mount? Just a slightly big hill. I like mountain as a surname, actually. If I was him, that's what I'd go with. Sam Mountain.

Sam Mountain. You meet Sam Mountain, what are you thinking? Nothing but positive, I think. Yeah yeah you're intimidated yeah yeah you're literally a man mountain yeah man and a mountain whereas what hillar hillar i feel like when i hear samuel hillar no offense but i feel like you've misspelled something somewhere yeah it sounds like someone it sounds like an auntie or whatever you know know, talking to you and going like, oh, you work at the project. That guy's funny on there. Who's that?

Sam, Sam Hiller? Sam Hiller? You're like, Pete Hellier. Yes, that's the one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, totally. You never want your name to sound like an auntie fucking up a famous person's name. Yeah, you don't want to sound like the home brand version of something else.

Right, the LA version of something else. The LA Ice of a comedian. I was going to say, it's not IKEA, is it? It's more the... Aldi? Aldi. Yeah, like an Aldi version. The knockoff.

Yeah. Something that you technically can't get sued for. Right. But you know what they're trying to do. Yeah. Yeah. And that's what Samuel's doing here. I hope get sued for. Right. But you know what they're trying to do. Yeah. Yeah. And that's what Samuel's doing here. I hope all the listeners just said bless you as they heard that.

Are you a bless-uer? Yeah, big time. Yeah, I am. Big time. No, you're not. No, I am. I am. You didn't just then. Oh, sorry.

I have hard immediate evidence that you're not. Sorry. No, yeah, I really am. And it's interesting. It's such a small thing, but it kind of drives me a bit crazy when I'm in a group and I sneeze and no one says bless you. And it really makes me feel like I'm insignificant.

I could just pass away now. No one would know or care. I do. If I sneeze and I'm within five minutes of anyone, even if it's like no one I know around me, there's like a stranger, I'll be like, I'll sneeze and then go, pardon me, just to officially have it out there. Just officially know.

Pardon me? Yeah, just so people officially know that I'm aware that I made a weird noise and you should be a bit polite and excuse yourself. I got on a run over the weekend at the Meredith Music Festival on Saturday night where i think i did like 25 sneezes in a row wow i didn't know you were gonna say sneezes at the end of that you ever get on i was off for a much more interesting story but you ever get on a run of one of them where you just start to think like i guess like this is just what i do forever now

yes this just feels like it's never gonna end end. And you keep going, okay, 20. That is an outrageous number. This must be it. Psyching yourself out. You're like, I'm done. That's all the sneezes there's going to be. And then you feel that tingle in the nose again. It's like, my God, he's about to do it again.

I'm a monster for it. People get aggrieved with me over the amount and the volume of my sneezes. Oh, yours are fucking big time rippers. They're a bit over the top and the volume of my oh yours are fucking yeah big time rippers they're a bit you really go for it yeah i'm not trying to do that i don't want to be the guy that does that but that is how it works you sound like you're in pain yeah i'm not it sounds like it but i'm okay don't worry yeah i wasn't you're okay cool um but you know what that's brought on by a lot of the time is and i'm a demon for this my sneezes are a lot of the time brought on by i'm a big one for picking out nose hairs oh yuck

and that that makes me sneeze right yeah yeah so i'll i'll get i'll get you know quarter of a finger up there and just yank out some deep long long nose hairs. This is horrible. With the roots coming out and everything. Clumps of dirt coming out like I'm pulling up weeds. God. Now I'm in pain. I want to look this up. I want to know how that causes me to sneeze. I should look that up, actually.

Like, I don't know, tickling the nose with the hair on the way out or something? I don't know. Yeah, I guess so. I guess that's quite basic, actually, now that you say that. Yeah, I guess so. I guess that's quite basic actually now that you say that. Yeah, I didn't want to offend you, but it's a very obvious answer to that question. Oh, it wasn't obvious to me. Something's happening in my nose

and then something happens to my nose. What's the answer here? My nose double. I put my headphones in and then all of a sudden I can hear music in my brain. Now, what's the link? I fashion my nose hairs into a little feather duster and then I waggle them around inside my nose

and then my nose is tickled and then I sneeze. So can someone walk me through what's happening here? I love the idea of someone like, yeah, anytime you think about like real life functioning in the way that it does in a cartoon. So just like someone trying to make themselves sneeze and literally pulling out a little feather and just tickling themselves under the nose. Great.

Thanks. Thanks, Samuel. Thanks, Samuel. Samuel Hiller. Also, go with Sam. Yeah, go with Sam. Sam Hiller. Sam Hiller.

One of the great, easy abbreviations, one of the quickest ways to make it lame to cool. Big time. Sam, good. Samuel, no good. No. No. Yep. Samuel Mountain.. Samuel, no good. No. Yeah. Samuel Mountain. But Samuel Mountain better than Sam Mountain.

Sam Mountain's kind of hard to say. Sam Mountain. Yeah, the M's running to each other, but still, I'll back it. But I don't know. I kind of like the contrast because you get Samuel, big dork, and then Mountain. I think we just queer-eyed up his name. Yeah, big time. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. I think we just Queer-eyed up his name Yeah big time Uh oh Uh oh

Uh oh Baby Blanket just woke up Alright Okay Blanket I'll be there in a minute She cries exactly like you do It's so cute

Maybe she's just Maybe it's the sneeze She's pulling her tiny little nose out Oh yeah she's in pain Yeah Alright She's just She's just started crying As you've She's pulling her tiny little nose out Oh yeah she's in pain yeah Alright We better wrap it up She's just started crying

As you've just I don't know if the mic picked that up It probably did I might be able to like If you can boost the levels Yeah Yeah great great But we said we'd go

Until that happened And we've had our hand forced So I don't know Probably like ten names Or whatever we're up to this week Let's just sneak one more in Because she hasn't completely Gone off

Right she's Oh god So she's Can sneak one more in because she hasn't completely gone off. Right. She's – oh, God. So she's – can you hear that in the background? I don't know. Well, I'm in the room, so I can definitely hear it. Oh, okay. But I have no idea if the listeners have been able to hear it or not. Yeah.

All right. I think we can fit one more in. Right. For the fifth, I guess, fifth and final this week, thank you to Patreon subscriber Oh wow okay What? Well just You know Just something that happened earlier on in the episode

Something similar Okay Yeah Which is weird You'd think within like five names that we read out That the odds are against any form of Sort of a callback happening naturally. But that's exactly what's happened here.

The crying's getting louder. We should probably speed this up. Let's give a bit of context first, I feel. Baby understands context. Yeah, sure, sure, sure. She has settled very quickly. Yeah, she understands what the requirement is. She's a fan of the process.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. She has settled very quickly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She understands what the requirement is. She's a fan of the process. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But back before when we said Dave Cullen, right? Oh, yes, yes. Basically, we had someone subscribe to the show that just had like a vowel difference

to a friend of the show. Yep, yep, yep. Now, thank you to Patreon subscriber Nick Cupper. Nick Cupper? Yeah. Hang on. Dash comedy. Oh, right. Oh, the hyphen's Nick Cupper? Yeah. Hang on. Dash comedy. Oh, right.

Oh, the hyphen's back. Yeah. Yeah. We've had a hyphenated name. Because I was about to say, usually, I don't know if you've ever picked up on this, but we do tend to have a lot of people that subscribe with the surname comedy. It's a bizarre coincidence. Oh, I never listen back to the show.

And if this was just Nick Cupper, I was going to say that you couldn't get anything further away from that name. Right. Bizarre to get the complete polar opposite in here. The opposite of comedy. Yeah. Right. Well, this is like Carper comedy.

It's a bit like Samuel Mountain. Right. You know, two very opposite sounding things next to each other. Right, right, right, right. Yeah, look. Anyway, the end. Bye, everyone. Merry Christmas.

Oh, yeah yeah that's right it's still Christmas we'll see you next week on New Year's Day yeah yeah yeah we'll see you after a big night out

special episode coming next week should we do we even say well let's just say it yeah we'll have put the thing out by now won't we

yeah we'll have our best of 2019 episode yeah you enjoyed that last week last year the best of 2018. We'll be counting down.

There'll be original, plenty of original content within it. We'll be fucking around in between. But yeah, look forward on the socials. The voting thing will be out there now. Your chance to vote on your favorite episode of 2019. And yeah, we'll count it down. Lovely. All right.

See you next time. Bye. See you, mate.