The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 498 - Lou Sanders & Ray Badran

Episode Date: April 22, 2020

We've got nothing but time at the moment, so it's the perfect opportunity to enjoy some classic RAY BADRAN stories! We've also roped in Ray's UK carer LOU SANDERS to get the full update on how Ray's going on the London comedy scene. We hear about Ray's pranks backfiring, his attempts to break in to the prestigious UK comedians football games PLUS he gets a right of reply to Chandler's version of events from Anfield earlier in the year! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on The Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with guests Ray Badren and Lou Sanders. We've got two great guests on this one. We have a new date for the big live 500th episode happening in Melbourne on November the 7th. Carl, that's exciting, I guess. That's it. The Athenaeum Theatre in Melbourne, absolutely locked in. We've had a word with the virus. The virus has said, I'm absolutely taking that day off. That's for sure. It's my mum's birthday. So you know that it's not going to be around then.

So it's all good. It's all confirmed. Exciting stuff. We'll talk to you a bit more at the end of the episode in our famous Talking Dum Dum segment. But until then, enjoy this new episode with Ray Badron and Lou Sanders. Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the little dum-dum club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us.

My name is Tommy Dasolo. With me, as always, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day, dickheads. We've got a very special international edition of the show this week. Let's welcome in our guests, Ray Badren and Lou Sanders. Yay! Hello, Tommy. Hello, Carl.

Thank you very much for joining us over Zoom, guys. I couldn't focus because Ray started doing this thing with his lips where he brings his lips in really tight like an old grandma. You start all the time, every time I see you on Zoom, you start doing this thing with your lips like this. Ray, look at me. Don't do that. I don't know what I'm doing. Don't.

Lose mouthing someone with no teeth, and that's what Ray is doing. But that's the least of Ray's problems. He's wearing a baseball cap that says comedian on it. That's not a problem. I told you, I'm at work. I'm ready to go, ready to be funny and I've got the hat on to signify that. Is this just to remind us, if you start bombing

on the podcast, we can just look at the hat and go, oh no, he technically is a comedian. We didn't make a mistake inviting him on. I think what he's doing is you dress for the job you want. So at some stage he might get that. After this I might put on a chef's hat and make myself some lunch. You know? Different hats for different things.

I get it. I get it. That translates internationally. I get it, Ray. Thanks for coming on the show, Lou, for the first time now. I feel like we're old mates now because we've just spent an hour and a half trying to work out the tech-wise of Zoom and fucking recording this fucking podcast. So the podcast I don't think will go for as long as what we've been going for already.

And that's a reflection of, yeah, that's a reflection of our chat and the tech, yeah. Sort of thing that we could have sorted out before, I suppose, but here we are. Thanks for joining us. You're our first ever guest to ever be on the show over Skype without having ever met us in real life before. So you'll go down in Dum Dum Club history. Whoa.

Yeah, yeah. How's it feel? Is it called Dum Dums? Yes. Yes. Ah! I've fit in right in because I'm really dumb. What did you think you were doing right now?

Do you know this is a podcast? Do you know what you're doing at the moment? Just speaking to my boys, you know, having a nice time. Ray just said there's a couple of boys I want you to meet, you know. I thought it might be a romantic thing. I don't know. I didn't know. We don't really have podcasts in England.

No. Yeah, you don't that much, do you? They call them portable radio shows here. Right. We've mainly got you on the show, Lou, because I feel like all the stories we tell about Ray and the way Ray presents himself, people don't believe that he's a real person.

So we sort of need a bit of proof from an English person that he is a real person and he's living there. Can I preface this by saying, Louise is the nicest and sweetest person I've ever met. Now, go on. Go on, Lou, please. Please tell them. I've taken Ray under my wing,

and it's very much a case of the blind leading the blind. But we fit into a sort of mother-son role, haven't we, Ray? Well. I'm a mother, he's son. Louise helped me when I came over here, and she was really nice and I got when I got dropped by my last manager she helped me

get a new manager. Tell them why you got dropped by your last manager because you didn't prank them, didn't you? Hang on, hang on, hang on. So you moved to England, Ray and you got a manager and then you got dumped by your manager straight away. Is that what happened? I moved to England. I met Lou at one of the first gigs I did over here.

So she was always really nice and I was friends with her. But then I got into some trouble. And then I just rang her when I was really down. And she sort of helped me get some gigs and sort of stuff like that. Yeah, helped me a bit like that. A good one, Lou. What did you do that for? Anyway, so my manager, I told them I was just trying to be funny a lot.

They kept sending me to these gigs that were really far away and I couldn't get to them. And they just sent you these emails. They were great. They were good. And the people working there were really lovely. So they'd send you these emails and just say, you have to go to these gigs.

And I couldn't make it there at this time and I couldn't make it back and i didn't have a car and i just couldn't do these gigs so i kept turning down these gigs and they were getting a bit offended at them and stuff like that and sometimes i'd pull out i'd say yes to the gig and then realize where it wasn't pulled out so they're getting annoyed the i mean i'm actually in a quite a serious way i'm actually a bit worried about how long this story might be. I just realised this. I'm not going to tell it. No, you are going to tell it.

It's fine. No, no, no. We want to hear the proper story. It's good. You're really painting a picture. I feel like no detail is being spared. That's the Ray Badron trademark that we've come to expect on this show. Yeah, we're all locked down.

We're not in a rush to move on to anything else. We've got the time, Ray. It's fine. If you could flesh it out a bit, that would be great. Well, I just – so I got offered this gig, and it was in this place called Leytonstone, which is like about five hours away from me, and i was it was to mc hang on hang on no that's the wrong that's the wrong area but it doesn't matter what layton stone oh lincolnshire lincolnshire yes yes yes layton stone is in london

yes lou and yes vital vital comedy thank you thank you lou little detailed. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Louise. Yes, yes, yes. And it is this. For this at Fuck Ted's. Well, it's these little mistakes that I make that will get me in trouble down the line. So anyway, I told, I just said, I said, yes, I could do it. And then I looked at how far away I was. And then I said, no, I can't do it. I can't get back in time. And then they said, what if I could do it. And then I looked at how far away I was. And then I said, no, I can't do it. I can't get back in time.

And then they said, what if we get you a driver? And so they get a support act that's going to do it as well and drive from London, drive from the other side of London to the gig and back. And I've got to meet them. And so after all this trouble, I eventually say, yes, I'll do it. Then like a couple of days before the gig, the person from my management agency messages me saying, for the love of God, can I just book in this gig, Ray?

And just to try to ease the tension of how annoying I'd been, I write back saying, well, believe it or not, you can't. My best friend's just got married and I have to emcee the wedding now. Ha, ha, ha. And then they write back saying were they write back saying they write back saying please please tell me you're joking and then i so i write back saying ha ha ha ha ha again right and that's it that's it that's all that happened then like the gig is like two days later and like i go to this person's house it's like an hour and a half away like the person that lives it's like an hour it takes me an

hour and a half to get there then it's like five hour drive to the gig and i'll get to the gig and then we're like talking to people and i'm looking around the green room and i'm like there's actually like quite a lot a lot of people a lot of people in this green room like a lot more people than should be and then I started talking to people I don't really know anyone here as well so you know I don't really know who's a comedian who's not and what's going on and then so I just start talking to this guy and he runs the gig and he goes to me oh so what's your name and And then so I just start talking to this guy, and he runs the gig, and he goes to me, oh, so what's your name? And I go, oh, my name's Ray, Ray Badron.

And he goes, Ray Badron. And he goes, aren't you meant to be at your best friend's wedding? Aren't you meant to be hosting your wedding? And I'm like, oh, of course I'm not meant to be hosting my best friend's wedding. Anyway, so long story short, I watch the show, drive back, I get the lift back to London, another five hours. On the way back.

Hang on, hang on. Let's get the detail. Let's be clear that, what, they booked someone else for the gig instead of you. So you were at the gig. You didn't get to be on the gig? The replacement comedian? She just assumed that I'd – she was so annoyed at me.

I don't want to tell you how to tell stories, but you just left out a very key detail of the story. I brushed over the, yeah, I brushed over the big part. Yes, that she, I had been, I had been replaced. I had been replaced. And there was no room, I wasn't't getting paid and there was no reason for me to be there and i lost 10 hours of my life and yes and i thank you thank you i just i just want to underline the fact that you're you're in england now you're in england now so you're in the land of

william shakespeare i just i don't want to tell you how to do your job but learn from the great bard as to how to fucking tell a story okay okay? All right, all right. Put the vital element of the story in where the major fuck-up happened. It was all lead-up to it. We need to know that you definitely did fuck it and someone else had to be the comedian. And this is what Louise doesn't realise. This is what I think happened. The person that worked for the agency, well, I wrote a tweet about what happened

and I was like, this is what happened at the gig last night and then I got home. And on the way home, on the five-hour drive home, the act pulled over to a cash machine and said, hey, can you get that 30 pounds out for petrol? And I was like, oh, all right, yeah. Oh, my God. So it, like, cost me money too.

And then... Sorry, to be clear, to be clear, so the support act, did he get a gig as well or was he not required at the gig because of your fuck-up? No, she was on, yeah, she was on. She was still on? Yeah, she was on, yeah. Right, right.

What was the gig like, though? Did you have a fun time watching it? It was pretty, I mean, the silver lining was I was meant to MC and I was, like, already annoyed at how late I was going to be going home from that I just tried to keep reminding myself that at least I get to leave after the support act just finished there I thought you know

that's a very positive outlook to be fair you could have left before the support act you can leave super early when you're not on a gig that's the cool thing about gigs that you're not on. You can leave whenever you want. Yeah. Well, not if you've got a five-hour trip back. That's why he wears his hat.

That's why he wears his hat, to let everyone know he should be on the bill. Yes, yes, yes. Is that why you got the hat that night? So you could never make that mistake again. No, no. Lou's got funny hats. Lou's got a good hat. Lou's got funny hats lou's got a good hat

lou's got a dick inspector hat that was so cute right oh yeah i did make my own hat dick inspector hats they've all sold out as you can imagine um oh really was that merch of yours yeah dick inspector hats and wasn't it stolen on instagram it was also stolen on Instagram. That was when I made Baby Gro saying, I made Baby Gro saying pre-com is real. And then, like, they got stolen on Reddit as if I was pissed off

because I did a photo of me holding it up and then they did, like, oh, woman's pissed off because husband, but it was all like the man did the joke and then I was, like,

the eye-rolling woman. It was so fucking annoying because they didn't credit me and they made me look really moody because I wasrolling woman. It was so fucking annoying because they didn't credit me and they made me look really moody because I was a woman. It was so annoying. But then I had to burn all 400. I made 400 prototypes and then I had to burn them in a fire pit because, well, anyway.

What? Did you have to use a pit? Yeah. Was that specified, a pit? Yeah, we won't go into that. Anyway, Ray, I play football with you, Ray. We play football, yes. Yes, we play football together, Ray and I,

and once I was doing handstands and Ray got jealous and said, don't show the boys your handstands because then they won't think I'm good at handstands. That's not completely true. I have, Louise knows that I'm good at handstands and I have shown Louise that I'm good at handstands and I had come to the UK

and I was making friends and then here I go, I turn around one day and Lou was handstanding in front of all my friends and I'm like Lou that's my it was my thing I know this sounds crazy but it was my thing to handstand in front of all my friends. And I'm like, that's my, it was my thing. Like, I know this sounds crazy,

but it was my thing to handstand in front of me. Well, show me what the handstand. That's the second story I've heard like that about you at soccer. I heard from another comedian

that came over to spend time with you that he came and played soccer with you and you told him, don't be too good because I'm trying to make friends with these people.

Oh God, don't say that. Cut this off the fucking podcast. Cut it off the fucking... Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Oh, God. It was so bad. So on the first day, one of the first days of football, one of the first days of football, right? I'm over here. It's a new country. I'll lose connecting to this story. So I'm over here and I'm nervous.

And like all of a sudden, I'm not nervous, but all of a sudden, you know, you find yourself in a situation where you don't know anyone and you are trying to meet people and stuff like this. You're a boy at the first day of school. Yeah. And then, you know, I get invited to play this comedian's football, which is a bit of a click and a bit of a wank, and it's been going for like 30 years.

It's so cool, but, you know, it's just like, well, it's just I didn't realise what people in the scene saw it like, sort of thing like that. But anyway, I got asked to go play, and then Daniel Kitson. For people at home, Ray can't even make eye contact with us anymore while he's telling the stories. He's got his head out the window

for some reason. Daniel Kitson runs the football. Great comedian. Great comedian. I'm already a bit nervous around Daniel Kitson anyway. I'm trying to be, you know, very excited to be there. I want to make friends with everyone.

Second or third kick of the game, my first game of comedian's football, I try to do like this trick, and I'm not even that good, and I kick the ball straight at Kitson's face and smash his glasses. And I just can't believe what I've done. And then he was so, he was really forgiving at night, but obviously in shock and hurt and annoyed and just like get away from me. And I was just, oh, it was just such a shit time. Fuck.

And he took your hat off and he burned it in a fire pit. Yeah, I know. I get it. So anyway, yeah. And then there was another time with Comedians Football where they send out this group email and I hit reply all. And I did this many times. And I just fucking, a lot of little fuck-ups like this

with Comedians Football that I just didn't need any more fuck-ups there. Yeah, you lose handstand could have really put you over the edge and just got you banned from soccer. That was just one little thing. Well, no, if the boys, if everyone saw me doing handstands, they would have been like, well, you know, let's get the handstand going back. I think you should be more worried about the charity gig you organised

and got drunk by 4pm. No one understood what you were saying on stage. No one cares about football. I did get very nervous that night, yes. I'd sometimes have a few drinks to calm the nerves. Anyway. So what happened then? That was the end of my drink.

No, that was the beginning of the end of... Anyway, I'm not talking lou got angry at me oh yeah mommy got mommy got cross didn't she well i just i organized i organized a big charity function of charity charity bushfire thing with um ann edmonds and we had uh all these great comedians doing it like lou sanders and rose matafayo and Tim Key and Daniel Kitson and, you know, it was full and sold out and I was meant to host it. Oh, no. Please don't tell me that you got drunk and kicked a ball in Daniel Kitson's face at the gig.

No, but metaphorically. No, it was more, no, no, no, no, Ray, it was more Me Too stuff that night, wasn't it? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, God. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, that is not true. That is not true.

That is not true. Oh, my God. Ray's little face when I said that. Obviously that was a joke, but Ray's little face was heartbreaking. Sorry, Ray. Sorry, Ray. He's as good as gold. That knocked the comedian hat right off his head.

Fucking hell. Yes. That knocked the comedian hat right off his head. Fucking hell. Lou, have you got any stories about Ray doing a good job? Just a smooth, good encounter? Yeah. Anything positive about Ray?

Ray is an absolute, he's a beautiful soul and we love him very dearly. Yes, this is what we need to hear. This has been about me a lot. Well, every positive story, actually, every positive story sort of is tainted with a sort of underside. Like, so he's really a cook, but he refuses. Oh, this is fucking shameful. So you're talking about Lou. Lou has helped me a lot over here, and I really support,

I'm really very grateful for her. Hey, excuse me, Ray, but let the lady speak, okay? She has gone mad with power. Let the lady speak, okay? Stop trying to mansplain this story. Stop trying to mansplain this story. Let the lady speak, okay? A little bit of respect for the

fairest sex, please, Ray. Okay, so Ray has got like a weird... So I love Ray. You know that. But he's got like a weird... I don't know if it... It's sort of like a macho... Once we were living together in Edinburgh, great fun.

He woke me up at 6am every morning for a peppy. Loads of peppy loads of energy peppermint tea yeah we had peppermint tea yeah apart from then near the end of the festival he discovered drugs and got up at 11 no no no beautiful but so he was going to the laundrette and uh he was going to the laundrette with like a bag of stuff to take and i remember what it was called suds are us suds are us yeah so he's going to suds are us as is his want you know and i said can you take a bag like a small bag of mine to suds are us as well and he went oh god no so embarrassing no no and he didn't he didn't want to take like a bag of wash like someone else's washing because he felt like I don't know And once all my friends were around and I can't cook

And I was like oh Ray you're really good at cooking Will you cook and he's like no They're going to think I'm so embarrassed No no no Let me tell you what really happened This part of the story So the Daniel Kitson thing happens This manager thing happens all this stuff happens

And like Lou's been really nice to me over here in London, right? And I'm a bit down at this point and stuff, and Lou's been really nice. And Lou sees, like, a post put up by my wife on Facebook saying, like, oh, like, we cooked this for dinner last night, really, really nice meal. And Lou's like, I've got these friends coming over. Restaurant quality. Restaurant quality. I've got these friends coming up restaurant quantity restaurant quality i've got these friends coming over the other tomorrow night you want to

come over on the tomorrow and we're doing writing we're doing comedy writing so you want to come over and do comedy writing cook anyway fast forward to that day i'm in the kitchen with an apron on and there's four girls in the house. And they're all like, they're all drinking wine and cheesing and laughing. And I'm standing in the kitchen with an apron on, with a fucking apron on. And I'm like, what the fuck? No, that is not. And they're having like a hen's day.

They're having like a hen's day. And I'm like. No, that's not true. That i'm like no that's not true that is not true that's not true also ray ray set the the fire the kitchen on fire when he cooked for his wife so one time he cooked for his wife and he melted a plastic spoon in it and then the next time it was restaurant quantity apart from the melted plastic spoon and the next time the fire engine was called out you're doing that thing with your lips again, Ray, where you pretend to be an old lady. What about that thing when,

can you get a screenshot of that if you can? Anyway, Ray, what about when your press release, like his agent wrote a press release and thought he was a doctor and he didn't read

the press release. So press release went out to all these PR, like journalists and stuff saying that Ray Badron used to be a doctor. Oh, yeah. Haven't I told you this? That's one of my best stories, yeah. So I finally get signed.

I finally get signed with this agency over here. And I'm really excited. And then they're taking me to Edinburgh for the first time and they do this press release. And press releases are always hard to read, you know. They're always so wanky and over the top. And I won like one shitty award once ever. I mean, not shitty, I'm grateful for it, but it's like New Zealand,

best international guest in New Zealand, New Zealand 2007, something like this, right? And so the press release starts with... Let's be fair, that New Zealand festival, as soon as they gave you that award, they went bankrupt, I think, the next year. Would that be fair to say? I think you'll find, like, actually, like people think it's a small award,

like best international guest in New Zealand comedy festival. But when you think about it, like, that's actually like the Guest in New Zealand Comedy Festival. But when you think about it, like, that's actually, like, the whole world excluded in New Zealand. So it's actually quite a large pool of people that award is out of, you know? Like, it's actually maybe. Good point, yeah.

It's probably the biggest pool. Like, the only one bigger than that would be, like, you know, Fiji's International Comedian of the Year, you know what I mean? Like, try taking a smaller. Anyway, but, yeah, the press release starts something like year you know what i mean like like try take a smaller anyway um but yeah the press release starts something like you know something it's fucking absurd it's like hayling is the best comedian from you know something like this it's over the top and you know he's done this so i stopped reading it after the first paragraph and i'm like yeah it looks great and then like two months later i'm making a and I'm like, I need a quote for this poster.

I've got to send it to the poster guy. Where will I find a quote? And I'm like, oh, maybe that press release. So I go to the press release, and I read it for the first time, like, in the middle of it, and it says, like, I'm a doctor in the middle of it. It says I'm a doctor. And after being a doctor, I've turned my fine eye to comedy and i'm like oh

my gosh like i'm not a doctor like i've got a medic a science degree but it's it's the equivalent of like an exercise science degree it's like medical science just oh right it's like a bachelor of human movement or something yeah you're like a you're like. You're like a glorified PE teacher. You're not a scientist. You're not a doctor. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Right, right. Yes, but they... But laughter is the best medicine. I'm feeling pretty healthy right now.

I'm having a good time. So, yeah, they mistook that and then printed that I was a doctor and it went out to all these newspapers and radio people and interview people. And by the time I figured out about it, it was too late and I didn't want to tell anyone and cause a fuss. So I just decided not to tell anyone and it just kept getting a bit worse. So instead of telling anyone or causing a fuss, you just started taking on patients and opened a little practice.

Well, you joke about it basically yes i would i would i would have been willing to become a doctor over telling them facing the awkward conversation i would have to have telling them the truth but um is is that why is that why the coronavirus is so bad in england because they've got doctors like you fucking everything up over there at the moment he just says hey are you a gynecologist or are you just pleased to see me? Edit that out. Edit that out.

Immediately. I'm leaving it in. Put it in twice. I'm keen on the Dick Inspector hat. I'm keen on getting a – can we get a franchise of those hats? Can me and Tommy do the Australian version of the Dick Inspector hats over here for our merch? That's cool.

You won't be surprised to know they sold out. But why was I seeing the gynecologist? Why would I be like, are you a gynecologist? No, sorry. I was meant to say to you. No, no, no. I was meant to say to you, Ray. Are you a gynecologist?

Oh, am I a gynecologist? I'm behind you. Yes, now it makes sense. I was wondering, what am I doing at the gynecologist? Oh, am I a gynecologist? Or am I just a – yes, now it makes sense. I was wondering, what am I doing at the gynecologist, in Lou's analogy? No, I liked it the other way around because it's like a subtle diss. It's like you should go to a gynecologist, right, because you're a cunt. Oh, right. Oh, interesting.

That's not all I like. And that's the merch. And that's the merch. It's multi-levels. Multi-levels. Ray, so what about this, Lou? Can you tell me, so Ray's going well in comedy in London, is he? Because last time I saw him, I saw him a couple of- Define well.

Oh, right. Okay. Well, I'll put it this way. Last time I saw him, I came over to England a couple of months ago, and he traveled up to liverpool with me uh to meet me we went and saw a game of uh premier league soccer we got in there we were very excited uh we we had a lot to drink and we were sitting there in a tense match and everyone was sort of quiet and it was just ray telling me how good he was getting at comedy more and more

as the match went on so he got drunk and drunker it was just like how much he was dominating the england scene of comedy and then as he got drunker and drunker as he got drunker and drunker, it was just like how much he was dominating the England scene of comedy. And then as he got drunker and drunker, as he got drunker and drunker, then he ran out of plaudits to give himself in England. And then he started rewriting history by basically telling me he was the best in Australia when he left Australia as well. So, like, by the end of the night, it wasn't just a New Zealand comedy festival.

He was the best comedian in the world by the end of the night. Is that fair to say? That's the level he's at at the moment? Lou, I would just say for starters, I did not do what Carl is saying here. Well, why does it sound so familiar to my ears? You sound so familiar to my ears. So this is, Ray, I haven't told you this, but that night, so we're watching the game and, you know,

I'd flown all the way across the world to see it and all I could hear was you telling me how good you were at comedy and I'm trying to watch this match. Not only that, I sent a message to Russell Howard and his management afterwards saying, thank you so much, what an experience, whatever. But I got no reply for the first time because I really think the people that were sitting next to us hated you so much. They must have complained or something because they were like season ticket holders that must go every match.

And all they've heard is about how you've absolutely spanked it at the pig and whistle in Islington or whatever the fuck you're playing. Well, I remember it quite differently. I remember, you know, a bit of football going on. You ask what's happening. I told you what's going on and, yeah. Okay, yeah, I'll withdraw my story. That sounds right then.

Okay, fair enough. But you can't fool him because he's like a little kid, like so excited, like, and then I got a star on my picture and the teacher really liked it. It's podcast. It's adorable. I feel like this podcast has gone a little bit far now, too far. Do you want to hear my favourite race story? And he does come out of this really nicely. Yes. Please. It's gone a little bit far now. Too far.

Do you want to hear my favourite Ray story? And he does come out of this really nicely. Yes. Please. Okay, my favourite. It really shows his lovely big heart. Okay, so he's in Italy with his wife. We'll call her Tina.

And there's a guy, the homeless guy, collecting money in a coffee cup and ray has got like some change uh euros whatever they're using i don't know and he goes to put a load of change in the guy's coffee cup the thing is is just a man ruined a man's coffee Ray, are you Charlie Chaplin? Are you a human sketch comedy show? What's happening? Nah, I just get right down I don't know, I just remember this

I don't know, that just happened But it's easier Because if you're in Madrid Just write down, I don't know, just remember this. I don't know, that just happened. That just happened. But it's easier because, like, if you're in Madrid, the Euros, they all look the same. So that was distracting me, for one. Oh, it's their fault. I'm like, I want to get rid of all these coins. They're all there.

And then, you know, in Madrid, you know, they've got beards and stuff, and it's hard. It's hard to tell, you hard to tell what they're wearing. There's a slow mould from homeless to normal, where there's defined barriers in Western society where you can see if someone's homeless or not. So you're saying that everyone in Spain looks like absolute shit? I'm saying this is an honest mistake.

If you guys put this person in a police line-up with homeless people and, like, hipsters and just modern men, you would not know which one he is a part of, you know? He could go into any group, yeah. Was it enough for a new coffee? No, it was less. I calculated it was less than the value. Yeah, he lost money.

That's annoying. No one won in this whole transaction, yeah. Madrid, one of the fashion capitals of the world. Yeah, they look homeless. Yes. Also, homeless people can have coffee, so you can potentially just ruin a homeless man's coffee as well. Like you should keep that in mind as well.

Right. Well, yes, yes, yes. Thank you. I mean, if you're going to go that far, you could say that some people like the taste of coins in their coffee, so there is a small possibility that I could have done someone a favour in that sense as well. A small possibility, sure.

I could have proved the taste. Well, if we're going to go through possibilities, what could have happened, I think we should examine all of them, good and bad. No, you're right. Very thorough detective work. You've got to look at this thing from all angles. Yeah.

Let's turn this thing into a census. I'm sure there's someone out there listening that loves a tinge of copper with their coffee in the morning thinking, what a kind thing that Ray did, you know? Yeah, yeah. Do you take sugar or milk? No, no, no. Silver, thank you.

Okay, yeah, you're right. You're right, Ray. Ray, how are you going in isolation? Because we were talking to you before we started recording about how you've been making friends with your neighbour. Are you across this loo? Did you know that this is what Ray's been doing all this time? Well, I was worried because I thought someone like Ray,

he's an extrovert. He needs people to listen to him talking about how good he is at comedy. That's the bottom line. So I was really worried. Oh, okay, okay, okay. I'll tell you what I've done. I've got myself into some real trouble. They won't listen to this podcast, I don't think.

But, yes, I have become friends with the neighbours and we all partied together on the communal Japanese rooftop garden of our apartment that no one used before this. And now we're all partying up there all the time. Anyway, and we've all become friends. And it's all a bit of a weird group. There's just six of us. And the other night when we were off our face. Have you invited your wife?

Does your wife? Yeah, we're all friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This thing evolved naturally from the start of COVID. Like it just evolved naturally. We were all together and then we just kept meeting each other on the communal. It was very organic, wasn't it, Ray?

Yes, we kept meeting at the communal area and then it grew and grew until... The Japanese gardens. The Japanese gardens, yes, yes, yes. And there's a little sign that says, caution, there's extreme danger when entering the Japanese garden. There's extreme danger. And there's nothing in there.

It's just these rocks. There's nothing in there it's just these rocks there's there's no there's nothing japanese but um so anyway um the other night when um when when we were we had we had a late night me and the uh me and the fellow uh scope we're the scotia building uh group gang we call ourselves sbgs um when the scotia building gang decided to have a late night um one of the one of the one of my friends amy who lives in number 14 her auntie runs some new liquor gin company called muff liquor and it's apparently doing pretty well it's this new sort of craft gin brand that's been launched and they're looking for people to do ads for Muff Liquor. Hang on, what's the name?

Muff. What's the name of the brand? Muff, M-U-F-F, like Muff, like vagina. Muff Liquor. Muff Liquor. Muff, hang on. Muff Liquor. Muff Liquor.

Do you get it, Carl? Carl, do you get it? Okay, right. Muff Liquor. I think I get it now. Muff Liquor, yes, Muff Liquor. Right, okay. And I think it's a pretty cool little indie craft gin brand,

from what I can see. But over the course of this night through – I'd rather drink a bit of Dick Inspector gin, but anyway, that's just me. So over the course of this night and me telling them how great of a comedian I am, this night and me telling them how great of a comedian I am, I somehow agreed to do an advertising campaign for Muff Liquor and where I'll do all these funny videos for them. And the girl is so excited. She's like, oh, my gosh, I'm going to send them all your website

and everything like this. And I'm like, yeah, send it. And now, like, they want me to do these videos. And I said I'd do them just for a bottle of gin. Like, I was so drunk and stuff. I was like, yeah, I'll do it for you. I was trying to be nice. And I'm really just – I'm a bit embarrassed and scared about doing it.

So now – I think you've got a good deal there, right? A bottle of gin for your face advertising something. you've got a good deal there, right? Bottle of gin for your face advertising something. But like all the ads I've got to do is saying about like licking muff, about muff licking, you know? It's all about muff.

Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're pretty full on. They're pretty full on. And I've just, I've agreed to all this with my neighbor and she keeps talking about it and hinting at it and saying this stuff.

And, like, I don't know what to do now. Like, I'm sort of like. But, Ray, Ray, don't you have a lot of weddings coming up with very good friends of yours that you have to emcee? Don't you just have a lot of them coming up? That's the obvious excuse. Well, not with COVID. The obvious excuse now is that I get COVID.

It's the only way to avoid it. Yeah, right. You know? An email to your agent saying, yeah, I've got COVID. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. If it was like Larry, if Kirby and Doozers were coming out now, Larry David would get COVID on purpose and walk down the street like coughing when people annoyed him, walked towards him, you know?

You're going to have to Photoshop a picture of you making out with Boris Johnson just to show to your neighbour and make sure that's your excuse. And that's the advert. Well, what about this? I guess in the way of fairness, as I was talking about the last time we saw each other in the flesh, Ray was in Liverpool watching the match. Now, I came back and I told the story of what happened that night on the podcast. And a lot of people enjoyed it because they know of your work.

But they also thought this is some classic Chandler storytelling. This is all very much slanted on my side of things. Now, a lot of them want to know your side of the story, if it's just the way I told it, whether it was all very anti-Ray or whether there was – you know, I sort of treated you like a gentleman all night, I thought, and behaved very well. So you couldn't possibly argue with that, could you, Ray? Did you start with getting there? Did you start with that? Did you do that on, Ray? Did you start with getting there?

Did you start with that? Did you do that on the podcast? Did you retell that part? I told the story of how it was a rush to get there, and then I got to my hotel, and then I ran to the ground, and then I was waiting for you out the front of the ground, Ray. Yes, and then so I get to the ground. I haven't told you, so this is my version.

This is what happened. And I'm sure Tommy can sympathize with this, right? I said, I said, car, where is it? And car, I can tell you're stressed. I didn't know what had happened beforehand. And he said, just get in, walk past the thing and go up the stairs to the VIP section. And I said, great.

All right. I go in there and then there's a VIP, there's these stairs and a sign that says VIP section straight away. And so I walk up these stairs and go straight up the VIP section. There's just coincidentally the exact same description of an entrance that Carl said earlier on than where I was meant to meet him. So I ring him from this meeting point and Carl just loses it.

Like absolutely loses it. Like you're fucking lost. You're fucking stoned. You're fucking, I'm over here. Like, I'm like, mate, there's, I'm looking at a sign that says VIP area stairs. I get off the phone. I asked someone and they're like, you're at it.

So I get out, I'm trying to find it. I find the area and I at it. So I get out. I'm trying to find it. I find the area, and I get it. I mean, as far as the story, as far as the night goes, you told me how stressed you were, but, yeah, that was – Sorry, I'm slightly distracted by the fact that Lou's gone on a walk to change the cat litter as you're telling this story, I believe. Yeah, I mean – I don't want to say that you can't hold someone's attention

No, my storytelling has been off point today, it hasn't been as I didn't know I didn't know that you could see me, because I wasn't in like I didn't think you could hear me, I didn't think you could see me because if Ray's talking it just shows Ray, so I didn't think you could see me

Alright, no, no we could see you No, it just shows Ray, so I didn't think you could see me. All right, no, no, we could see you. No, but yeah, no, it was a good game. No, you can't make up, you can't insinuate that fucking people from the ground rang up Avalon and told them not to let us get back to Liverpool. You can't insinuate that people told Russell Howard from Liverpool to ban us in your side of the story. So my side, if I was to skew my side of the story

and make something as unbelievable on the other side, the people have rung up and said that the person, whoever they were sat next to, was so good that they don't want Russell Howard back at Liverpool again. You know? That guy was so good. Like, yeah. Let's run through some positives of Ray.

No, no. He's such a lovely lad. Let's run through some positives. Lovely bouncy hair. I was giving Ray a right of reply about my story in the book you know so yeah that's true that's true that's very kind but i just thought you know what with his self-esteem being so up and down let's just give him the self-esteem is good at the moment the self-esteem is good i've got a lot of we

met the scotia building group we're having a lot of fun here um we are like see now next door there's a bit of a sitcom situation now one of the people is a gambling addict and the other person is a recovering gamble right so one of them has to sit there's a two bedroom place there and so one one guy is sitting in his room gambling playing online poker and the other guy is sitting outside in the living room playing fake poker. I've seen all this, right? I've seen this shit going on over there.

And now, like, but there's nothing to gamble on anymore. But then, so what I saw the other night, we were all ordering food, Deliveroo and Uber Eats and shit like this. And I've noticed that you can order like Subway from both Deliveroo, Uber Eats and Just Eats. So I think what we're going to do this week, we're going to all order dinner from these places,

the same meal at the same time and race them, race them home. Right. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then bet. Bet on who's going to win, you know, who's going to get here first. Just Eats, Uber Eats or Deliveroo. No, it's a good game.

Things are going pretty well, you know. Like things are actually going pretty well for me. That's all I'm trying to say. So, yeah, you've got to do it. You do have a gambling problem by the sound of it, right? No. You're a bit of a gambler, aren't you? Yeah.

No, I don't have time, yeah. But no. Are we going to do base positive? Are we going to? I think we should do lose. I think we should do lose positives. I think we should do lose. No.

Lose, you know, you've got to talk. I'm English. People listening can already tell you're like Lou. We don't need to build her up. Okay. Well, we don't know enough about Lou, right? If you can give us positives or negatives as well. No, no, no, no, no.

It's very uncomfortable being nice. I can really. Oh, it's very uncomfortable. No, Lou's been a great comedian. Oh, do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? I've only got 16% battery,

so I don't think we've got time to go through my positives. Lou, I was reading about you this afternoon that you gave up drinking a little while ago, right? That's something that you could learn from. That's why me and Ray fell out because, well, no, actually, I won't say that that's too serious we didn't really fall out we love each other so i had i had yes i had too many drinks at one gig yes yes yes okay yes maybe i had a little too many drinks at a gig was i funny yes did i do the job yes anyway no hang on hang on hang on i will cut in here

mini golf mini golf and invites everyone but me let's let's hear from lou please let's hear from lou for a second sorry lou well no so he was i've forgotten what i was gonna say now it's my big moment to shine um so oh yeah that's it because he talks so much about his career and and and you invest so much in it then when he gets hammered at a gig where there's loads of industry and he does that and you say that's not a good idea and then he does it another five times then i just don't want to speak to him for a week because it's pointless investing i'm his fucking mother over here sorry rose badren and i invest so much in this little prince that when he gets drunk and ruins everything all the

opportunities it makes mummy very cross so then we had a mini we had a mini golf day out and i forgot to invite ray but i did say you're always welcome i would never leave you out on purpose but i wasn't speaking to him no i was just taking a break everybody needs a break from right sometimes so from my point of view so from my point of view as i as i saw this from my point of view louise had invited everyone i knew in england to out to a day of mini golf except for me excluding me and had done this and picked the most funnest, most ridiculous activity. What could we do? Could we go skydiving? What could we do

that's going to be Instagrammable? What can we do that's going to make some noise? We didn't Instagram it. We didn't Instagram it because we're very classy. We did not Instagram it. So, very classy. And you didn't put everyone there.

How about I make a group chat on the day of the event and put Ray in it, but not invite him the whole time. How about I do that? Sorry, Lou. So, what happened at Mini Golf? Sorry. I'd better not hear about you doing a handstand at the end of this Mini Golf. Oh, no, nothing. No, no, nothing happened. Ray, you're always invited everywhere I go.

I hate people leaving people out. And I did text you saying we're missing you and I did invite you. And you said you couldn't make it, but you weren't doing anything else, so you could have made it. Yeah, I know. I was boycotting it at that point.

But yeah. So, Lou, what advice would you give to Ray once COVID-19 is over and live comedy is back? What things could he do to further improve his already great career? I've made this a lot of – I need to tell one Lou story real quickly. I just want to tell you about one of the first times I met her at New Zealand Comedy Festival.

She dropped her phone in the toilet. Yeah, we get it, Ray. You were accepting the award and then Lou walked past. Yes, yes. The year was 2017, a year that some might know for the best international guest at the New Zealand... No, so Lou dropped her phone... The final year of the New Zealand Comedy Festival.

Lou dropped her phone in the toilet. Lou dropped her phone in the toilet while she was on the toilet. So she somehow dropped it through her legs and into the toilet. And then she messaged me. I was coming over to her house, and so she messaged me, and she said, can you pick up some dried rice? But I didn't know that she dropped her phone in the toilet, and I didn't know, like, any of this.

And her phone autocorrected and said to me, can you get me some fried rice? So I'm like, why does she want fried rice for? And I'm like, oh, fuck. All right, well, whatever. I'll get a fried rice. There's a shop on the way. So we go to this shop and they're like,

what fried rice do you want? And there was like three different types of fried rice. And so I was like, oh, just get me one of each then. I'm like, oh, that'll take like 15 minutes. So I sat there and I waited for the fried rice. We got the fried rice and I i was like oh just get me one of each then i'm like oh that'll take like 15 minutes so i sat there and i waited for the fried rice we got the fried rice and i got delusion she's like yeah she's like no and dried rice anyway yeah so that that's the story the story ended in the middle but i kept going yeah yeah also for all of that story you were showing us your tush you were showing us your butt, for all of that story, you were showing us your tush. You were showing us your butt for the whole of that story,

which is a weird, like, artistic decision. Yeah. I suppose, yeah, I don't know why I was doing that. Yeah. Also, I've never heard the term dried rice before. Has anyone ever said dried? Don't you just say rice? Yes, yes.

What's dried rice? Yeah. What does that mean? In England, everyone's saying it. everyone's saying dried rice in england you can't go through the day carl those are the hats that we can make and sell dried rice all right dried rice it's growing on me i can i can see i can see the possibilities you know that those times where you get wet rice and then you dry the rice yeah you call it dried rice then yeah okay yeah look i see what you were saying but don't side with right come on man okay yeah sure yeah right you've been you've been lounging all jauntily on the on a bed

for this whole time like you're in the fucking babysitter's club or something yeah i lied down on the floor i lied down on the carpet when i worked you know i find it a bit funner you you you're treating us with a lot of disrespect you're yelling over everyone now i work you know i find it a bit funner you you're treating us with a lot of disrespect you're yelling over everyone now i thought you were going to be excited about this because you you rang me up a couple of weeks ago and you were so excited you were like i've got to be on dumb dumb again i want to be on i'm just stuck in my house i need to talk to anyone so you've been hitting me up every point of the way you hit me up when you saw a microphone online that you could possibly buy you hit me up when you were about to hit buy on the microphone then you hit me up when you saw a microphone online that you could possibly buy you hit me up when you were about to hit buy on the microphone then you hit me up when you got an email that said

that said you've bought the microphone then you hit me up when the mailman knocked on the door you hit me up when this is once again very very door and gave it to you let me let me just to listen very one-sided cut this conversation has been two ways. He's made it out like I just messaged him these pictures out of nowhere. Like, you know, out of fucking nowhere. Hey, mate, here's a microphone. Put me on the podcast. Fucking yeah. I have got this microphone because I am actually pitching an idea at the moment.

As we speak, guys, a lot of work going on for Ray Badron, actually. Despite COVID, comedy doesn't stop here, and I'm still pitching stuff. moment as we speak guys a lot of work going on for ray badren actually uh despite great comedy doesn't stop here and i'm still pitching stuff and i've got this because i am um i am going to become an unlicensed phone sex operator so i've pitched it i've pitched the idea and i will put my phone number out and record uh and is that why you're showing us your ass a lot of the time i keep forgetting i'm on video i keep forgetting i'm on video and i just i you know i'm i'm wriggling it about i'm wriggling about yeah when he's not showing us his ass he's doing an impression of an ass with his lips it really is one or the other well that could be quite handy because tommy das like the moment a lot of the listeners of this show have been putting up my

phone number at uh truck stops and saying for a good time, call this number. And then they call my number or they text my number and I send them back pictures of Tommy Daslow topless and things like that. So I can help you out with this business. We've been in the field for a few weeks with this sort of thing. Oh, you're thinking we could go international. That's pretty exciting. Yeah, yeah, nice. I could redirect all the calls and

the texts that come to my number to your new number yeah right how often are you getting calls and texts i was getting a lot and then it has died off i don't know whether someone smeared off the uh off the phone number off the uh the toilet doors or what's happening but i haven't had one for a little while i think maybe there's a lot of disgruntled customers once i send the pictures of tommy daslow uh in the nude maybe they're going back to the truck stop and just fucking knocking those walls down or something maybe oh that's hurtful i don't know why that'd be happening oh well that's just hypothetical who knows yeah just hypothetically speaking i think it's probably more likely that this happened around the time of covet 19 hitting and so that you know they And so they're afraid to leave the house.

People aren't having access to truck stop toilet walls in the same way. That's what I think is actually happening. Maybe some people have seen your picture and then gone, I want him for my own. And they went back and made sure no one else could ring the number. I think that's definitely it. Yeah, it's a jealousy thing. I think that's very, very likely.

That's it. That's it. Well, should we wrap this up for another week on the little dum-dum club? Lou Sanders, Ray Badron, thank you very much for joining us. Thanks for having me. I've had a lovely day. I hope the kitty's got nice, clean litter. I hope she goes well for the rest of the day.

It wasn't cat litter. I was trying to find my – oh, it doesn't really matter, I suppose. But, yeah, anyway, thanks for having me. People can follow you on the socials. What are you on? Is it Luli Sanders on Instagram? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And at Luli Sanders on Twitter?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep an eye on all that stuff. Very funny on social media. Is there anything else you'd like to plug that people can check out? Oh, my podcast, Cuddle Club. Oh, nice. I was on her podcast. I was on her podcast. I was on her podcast.

Lou dropped my episode. It's cut from the thing. I would like to air that now. Yes, just to let everyone know this is the friendship we have. Why did that happen? I didn't make the cut. Who cares what

the reasons is? It's just not good enough apparently. No, no, no. Let me say why. Because everything he said, he second-guessed himself. He wouldn't speak sincerely for a second. Not that it's a sincere podcast. It's just a chat.

But everything he said, he second-guessed himself. So he said, like, I said, who do you most want to cuddle in the world? And he went, oh, my mom. And he went, no, no. Do not come out. So he went, no, no, do not cuddle. So it was unplayable. Great, great. Well, yeah, okay.

I love you, Ray. All right, we'll check that out. Yeah, download that episode that doesn't exist. That sounds good. Yep. Ray, have you got anything to plug? No, I've got nothing to plug at the moment. I've got Twitter.

You can go on that. And I will be doing Edinburgh 2021. So look out for that, I suppose. Great. Keep an eye out for that. 2021. So, yeah. Just keep an eye on the website.

Keep going back, checking the website. Oh, yeah, yeah. So that is confirmed. That is confirmed. I will be doing that, yeah. Make sure in eight months when the new diaries come out, try and remember to circle that in another eight months' time. Yeah.

All right, guys. Thanks very much for listening, and we'll see you next time. See you, mates. And they've done it again. Have they ever? See you, mates. Have they done it again? Have they kicked a big one, Bernie? Oh, good question. Again, it's harder to review. And some of this is up to the magic of your editing wizardry. So I think I was entertained. I was entertained enough by it. And I'd like to think that people out there are more entertained by this than I am.

So if I'm mildly entertained, I'd like to think everyone else will be massively entertained. Yes, yes. So you can't go too wrong with an episode that's basically centred around, let's talk about how fucked in the head Ray Badren is. I don't think you can go too badly with that. So thank you to Lou Sanders for being part of it for the first time.

We've been looking forward to having her on. She was going to be on a live episode in Melbourne before a certain unpleasantness came into the world mix. But it was good to have her on this. It was good to have her get about three words in whilst Ray Badger had no respect for the form, for the medium whatsoever, and just yelled and didn't look at us through the video

and didn't take any cues as to when to shut up or when to talk. So, yeah, good. Good stuff. Yep. That would have been brutal stuff even being in the same room, let alone over a troubling Skype connection made it even more difficult. Yeah.

But, hey. Yeah. But funny. Fun stuff in the edit suite. And, yeah think I think people I think this one will have been popular but yeah

time will tell yep still funny funny for all for all of our backroom complaints and we really need to

before we deal with some of these fucking idiots that we call guests and friends of ours we really need to sit them down and say this is how you do things

guys just fucking be normal don't be have an idea in your head of how an idiot would do things and try and do the opposite a code of conduct we'll see well yeah we'll see how that works out yeah i don't know but um lots of these remote episodes um to come and some great feedback of your editing skills where people don't even realize that uh we're not in we're not in the same room together so hopefully that um that that those sort of reviews continue hopefully that sort of finesse coming from your fingers continues so that no one has anything to fucking complain about

yeah i'm really doing my best to make them sound as uh as clear as possible and yeah i mean we're you know we're all in this weird situation at the moment. And I'd hate to just be putting stuff out and being like, oh, well, you know, everything's fucked and it is what it is and this is just what it sounds like. And yeah, thanks to everyone who wrote a message during the week after last week's ep and said that they found the quality good because, yeah, it does make all the hard work that has gone into editing it a bit worthwhile.

Yeah, I don't want to be putting out something that just sounds a bit dodgy just because of what's going on. Like it's, you know, you want to think that you are upholding the quality as much as possible. But, yeah, what do you do? You know what's weird, though? It kind of feels like normally when we do these eps, we're just all in a room together.

We record a conversation. Every now and then I'll edit out a stretch of stuff that sounds a bit dodgy and um you know that needs to go out for whatever reason but for the most part we just have a conversation i just keep it as is you know you just you're just capturing a conversation that actually happened but with this i'm going through and i'm trimming little bits out little bits of silence little bits of cross-talking and stuff i kind of feel more like i'm sort of like your mates the avalanches where I'm just like creating a fake conversation out of samples of bits of conversation

that people have all separately sent me. So it's like when you listen back to it, it isn't really an accurate representation of what fully happened over Skype, but it sounds like what that conversation should have sounded like, if that makes sense. And it's also not an accurate impression of my mates, the Avalanches, in that you're editing something and putting it out within the week.

Yeah, we're going to have to start sitting on some of these episodes for a lot longer. Yeah. Getting into a legal back and forth to try and get the clearance from Ray Badron to be allowed to use his sample on this episode. Yeah, yeah. See if Ray's lawyers let us use the sample of him yelling over the top of our other guests. See if that's allowed. But, yeah, great.

Fun episode. We're still bringing you, hopefully, the same high standard you're expecting of this marvelous podcast. Thank you to everyone that's supporting us on the side. As a side note, on Patreon, we may have mentioned that once or twice before, that we have a thing called a Patreon. We go on patreon.com slash little dum-dum club. That's a way of allowing you guys to support us and pay for the show and get extra little goodies and whatever. And we've upped that given that everyone's stuck at home. Ideally at the moment, we've really tried to make sure that you've got something to do.

If you're really into this show, we're giving you a heap more of this show. So as we speak, as time of recording, we did a little thing called Content-O-Palooza where we did 12 straight days of extra bonus content. So we've done a mix of going back into the archives and finding bits that people may not have heard before. That's been exclusive to like paid sort of bits like Bandcamp and things like that. Things that people probably didn't even know existed. Plus we've recorded new little ideas. There's a heap of that out there on Patreon.

There's including, what have we done? We've got some old unrecorded or unreleased stand-up stuff, a thing that I never put out from seven years ago or so, a stand-up album that I recorded but didn't put out. There's a video special that you recorded five years ago and never put out, Tommy. Yeah, yeah. My show about having childhood cancer, which, yeah, some people listening to this may have seen, but plenty of people probably haven't. And so, yeah, if you want to see that, you want to see me do an in-depth, which, yeah, some people listening to this may have seen, but plenty of people probably haven't.

And so, yeah, if you want to see that, you want to see me do an in-depth, hour-long deep dive into a topic that comes up on this show pretty frequently. That's out there. We did something we've never done before. We did a weird little video commentary where we simulated one of the remaining games of the Premier League season in an attempt for you to see Liverpool get a victory. Ray Badron put that together for us using the FIFA video game, and we did a commentary of that, of that computer simulation, which was a lot of fun.

Yes, there's a lot of different ideas rattling around in there that you can still get if you sign up right now to patreon.com slash little dumb num club and have a gander at all the hours of bonus content and bits and pieces that you can get. And yeah, in a tiny way, what you can get out of that is that it supports us and keeps us making this show. But mainly, you get a shitload of free stuff that you can very selfishly fucking devour in your bedroom instead of um um jerking off uh so thank you very much to everyone who does that of course oh you know what maybe we should fit a little bit of this and given that you just brought that up uh your little comedy special that dealt with childhood cancer i know a lot of people are

begging for a new installment of cancer corner tomm Tommy's Cancer Corner. So maybe did you watch the special when you put it out as part of the bonus features? Did you gander over it? Did you have a bit of a check before you put it out? No, to be completely honest, between the hours that it's taking me to edit the regular ep and going back and then putting together all the additional bonus stuff we've been doing for this.

That's been so much time and so much listening back to myself on a weekly basis that I couldn't handle watching my stand-up special back. But why? You've suffered enough already. Exactly. Yeah. Are you about to alert me to the fact that there's some dodgy stuff in the mix that I didn't catch? Absolutely not.

No. How would I know? I don't subscribe. I didn't get to watch it. Oh, good point. Yeah. I don't. Yeah, I haven't seen it.

Why? Is there dodgy stuff in it? No, I don't know. You know, it feels weird back back five years ago did you did was there a louis ck moment where you jerked off in front of your cancer and and didn't didn't ask for permission or yeah what's the dodgy well i don't know i did really uh i did worry that i putting it out having not looked back on it that uh yeah someone someone might write in and go what's with this off-color joke where you call one of the nurses a slut?

Who knows? It was a different time back then. Good gear. Still stands up today. Yeah. Good. What about, well, maybe I'll come up with a question then instead. What about this?

Have I ever asked you this? What were the reactions of, because you're quite young, I mean, a two-part question, first part coming up first, a professional. When you first got told that you had cancer, what was your reaction? Did you absolutely freak out or were you just young and sort of went, oh, well, that'll get fixed. Or did you take it quite calmly? Or were you influenced by the reaction of your parents? I don't remember really having too much of a reaction early on. I think early on, like very beginning of it, you know,

you're in the children's hospital a bit and there's a McDonald's in there. So I talk about that in the show actually, just like being young and being like, yeah, who cares? This is cool. I'm going to get to eat McDonald's every day. This is actually sick. Yeah. And the beginning of it, it's like, oh, I'm getting to miss school.

Great. I hate school. This is awesome. So I don't really remember at any point being too freaked out or too scared about what might happen. So yeah, I was 10 at the time. So I guess, yeah, I didn't really. And also, I think a lot of this stuff is being told to my parents who were then relaying select excerpts back to me. So I'm not being fully kept abreast.

Yeah, yeah. They don't really. There's no need to say to you, here's the chances of whether you're going to fucking die or not, kid. Yeah. They're not really, they don't really need to give you the odds or anything, do they? Yeah, exactly. So yeah, I don't really remember at any point being like, oh, I might be fucked here. Like, I don't remember that.

I remember getting, I remember getting bored and getting really over it and being like, this sucks. Like, I want to be, I want to be back at school and seeing my friends. And I hate being in hospital. But I don't ever remember being like, oh, this could be it. Yeah. What about – so when you went back to school, were you in any way the cancer kid there for a while?

Or were people coming up and asking you questions, like ideally better questions than I ask you on this segment? Did it hurt? did it hurt uh i i don't really remember like i'm sure that yeah i remember i remember one kid coming up to me and asking me a pretty fucked question like early on something like oh you're gonna get sick again or could i catch it off you now or something like that there's like some kid in our year who was like a bit of a shit stirrer a bit of a fuckhead but like thinking back on it now i'm sure it would have been a thing where before I went back, like the class would have had that thing where, you know, teacher sits them down and goes, hey, this is what's happening. Tommy's coming back to school tomorrow. He's been away.

He's been sick. Like, you know, teachers probably would have given them a bit of a heads up of like, hey, here's what's happened. Be cool. Like, don't be a fuckhead. Tommy sucked off a Chinese bat that had cancer. Yeah. So he cut it off them and now he's probably better. Welcome back.

So show a bit of sensitivity, guys. No Batman shirts in the playground. We don't want to trigger him with any stuff like that. Yeah, we don't want to get his dick red red hard red red hot hard with with uh cancerous spoof yeah yeah no i don't remember i don't remember feeling too much like a you know like i was on display as like yeah the cancer kid back at school but um i'm i'm sure i'm sure i was like i'm sure people like you know behind my back like oh the sick kid's back but yeah yeah yeah when you're that age you don't like nothing that that much has happened to you so if something

like that happens at school it's like wow well that's the defining thing of a kid for the rest of your life because it's like well what else do I think about him oh one time he came to school and he found a good stick in the playground he was like the good stick guy there for a while but I mean I guess also it was like I'd been gone from school for two years and i think like most people oh two years was it yeah yeah yeah so fucking hell so it was like a yeah half of grade three all of grade four and half of grade five and there had been points where like like i think i was still getting sent schoolwork from my school and every now and then kids from my school would come and see me in hospital. So it wasn't – so I think like – and it was all like the same kids,

you know, from my classes for those two years. So I think like it was two years where everyone knew like, oh, we have this classmate who's like in hospital sick at the moment. So by the time I came back, it was like, oh, he's back. It wasn't like who the fuck is this kid that we've never seen before like for the most part like everyone in the class like knew what was up because they all remembered me from grade three there would have been new kids that came into those classes in the meantime though that you know people would be like oh yeah it's

this guy that's in hospital with cancer and whatever and then you know say these new kids started just after you went to hospital and they're still talking about you two years later. Oh, yeah, our friend's coming back. He's, you know, he's in. That would have been like, boys, he's not coming back. He's probably already dead. Oh, he's gone to a farm.

He's living on a farm now, but he's coming back. We can go visit him anytime we want. Yeah. He's better off. He's on a nice big farm. There's like heaps of room for his cancer to run around and everything. He's actually, you know, he's in a better position in a way. Yeah.

Yeah. I think there were one or two kids. And maybe that kid who said that thing to me, I think he was one of the new ones that like didn't know me. Right. So I was like, you know, a bit more interested in shit-stuffing and whatever. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. A real Carl Chandler of his day. Thank you. Thank you very much. It does actually sound like me. Well, that's been another edition of Tommy's Cancer Corner. Let's wrap up the old mailbag in that I write the mail and post it to myself. But like I said, yeah, you can get Tommy's special as part of the Patreon bonus features,

patreon.com slash little dum-dum club. Of course, also, you know, in this downtime, a lot of people, including you and I, Tommy, are getting a bit bored online and doing a bit of online shopping. Oh, yeah. So there's a bunch of people who have been doing that, including a lot of people reacting off the back of one of the stars. I guess stars is the right way of saying it.

One of the featured players, one of the personalities on Gogglebox, was wearing one of our T-shirts the other day, our black I'm Aware of Little Dumb Club T-shirt, Faye from Gogglebox. Not that I believe neither of us are big viewers of that show, but plenty of people are, rates fucking heaps. So awesome. But yeah, we found out this week by her wearing one of our shirts

on the show that she actually does listen. And I believe her son, who's a big listener, got her into it from what I gathered from the socials. So, yeah, a lot of feedback off the back of that. And then Faye herself noticed it on the socials and started commenting back to people like going, oh, Faye, what a legend, and she's going, hope everything is Rick to like all of them.

So it's pretty funny. Yeah, that was awesome. That was awesome to see that pop up. So did you, because we have a friend of ours works on that show. Did they message you about it in advance? Yes, but the thing is I didn't realise that. Someone we know hit me up and just sent me a picture of Faye in the shirt. Now, like I said, I've never even watched it.

I didn't know who she was um and i thought and he was he's working as part of the crew yeah on that show and he so he sends me his picture and goes oh look and i go oh cool okay and i just thought it was like a fellow crew member of uh of his oh and i was like oh cool you know a crew a crew member wears wears our shirt yeah that's pretty cool like we've we've we've had that happen a few times before and then it comes to the night of goggle box man on tv and everyone fucking kicks off and goes what the fuck check it out and i go oh okay that's right that's that person yeah because i i got sent that from him too but he was like don't don't post this anywhere or say anything about it. Because when he sent it to me, his concern was that it might end up getting cut.

Like that Network 10 might work out that it was like a subliminal ad for something else and cut it out. So his concern was, I don't know if this is going to make it past the Keeper. He didn't say that to me. Oh, right. Because he was like, I would get in a lot of trouble if they knew I'd sent you this. So I probably shouldn't be telling this story, but whatever. Yeah. Oh.

I think the high and mighty controllers of Gogglebox won't be that fussy about it. For a show that gets random people and says, oh, look at that cunt on TV. He's fat or whatever. Like, I don't think their stands are too high, are they? I don't know. But yeah, very exciting to get that past the keepers. Yes. That, and on top of that, you know, pays to advertise on TV.

Had three sales for that shirt that night. Incredible. Yep. After Faye was modeling it. So, yeah, if you want to look like you're on Gogglebox, if you want to look like you watch TV, definitely go and get that shirt now, guys. That's on the website. If you want to look like your entire life is sitting on the couch watching TV,

then now's the time that you can pretend that that's you. Yeah, you can cosplay as someone who's sitting inside a lot and watching TV a lot. What a world. Yeah, so that was cool. Good to be on any – in any way good to be on TV for us. But, yeah, so much appreciated to Faye. Shout out if you listen to the back end of the show.

A bit getting back to the Patreon dealio, and that is, of course, you get all the bonus features, and, of course, you get a big chance of being immortalized in Talking Dumb Dumb, the true, the best part of the show, the main, the only part of the show, of course. The Little Dumb Dumb Club with guests is really only a precursor to the main full show, which is this. And every week we use advanced technology that thankfully is not too far, we're not too far inhibited by the coronavirus.

It hasn't impacted the computer system we have here for the planned title alternator quite yet. I don't believe it's mutated into computer form yet, but who knows? Who knows? Who knows what the future holds? Who knows what happens in the next 20 minutes? So here's your big way of becoming famous through the show to some degree.

We read out a number of names of people that subscribe to our Patreon, and that's what we're going to do now, time permitting. I can hear my baby screaming outside my bedroom as I'm holding here. So I'm on the clock, so to speak, to have to go out and feed her and do things like that. And, of course, we're on Skype here and we've been talking before we started hitting record, and I've realised that your girlfriend's in the room and she's heard us talk absolute fucking garbage

before the show. So I'd imagine you've probably only got 20 minutes or so before you get dumped. Yeah, yeah. She hasn't heard both of us talking garbage. She's heard one side of us talking garbage, which is probably worse in a lot of ways. Yeah, well, I've been blamed for most of it so far. So that's been very, very nice. Before we've even met and I've been absolutely stitched up massively.

She just asked if I was talking about her. No, it's just a friend of ours from comedy that we're talking about. It's another girlfriend of yours that you're talking about. Yeah. All right. Well, let's get stuck in. I've hit the big red button on my self-isolated unplanned title alternator. I've got the stilt that I use to get 1.5 metres away from the big red button to make sure everything's safe here. You use a stilt?

Yeah. Wow. From your days as a wacky waiter. Exactly, from my clowning background. That's how we met. That's how we met. That's how we met back in the day. I was a wacky waiter on stilts. I was serving you French onion soup.

I spilled it all over you and you went, this is absolute comedy. We've got to – this visual humor that we've just cooked up, we've got to get rid of all of it and just take it to a podcast. Well, you're only telling half the story. You were a wacky waiter at Ward 6 East at the Royal Children's Hospital. That's right. Patch Adams style. You'd come in with the food every day on your stilts and just be these sick children.

Now that I think about it, now that I say it out loud, it does seem like kind of a strange idea to be coming in these poor sick children. Now that I think about it, now that I say it out loud, it does seem like kind of a strange idea to be coming in these poor sick children and then you're spilling lentil soup all over them. Yeah. I'm tipping boiling food onto sick kids. It does seem a bit weird in hindsight. But, you know, everything's weird in hindsight, I guess. It's a different time.

That's Patch Chandler for you. Yeah. All right. It's a different time. That's Patch Chandler for you. Yeah. All right, let's get stuck in. Bang. First up, first cab off the rank this week on the Patreon list. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Karen King. Karen King. Yeah, the double K, the KK.

I like it. I quite like it a lot. I wonder what, the KK. I like it. I quite like it a lot. I wonder what the middle name is. You wouldn't like another K starting name in the middle or at the end or anything like that? Is that what you're saying? Do you reckon that – Does that bring you back to your time in the hospital beds

just being covered in white sheets? Yeah. And all of a sudden you're yeah i wonder if um i wonder how many people there are out there that have the that have k as all three initials because you'd have to think like you know your surname's king and then it's like you know a lot of times a lot of families a lot of cultures they have like you know we basically have to give this child this as a first name to honour, you know, whatever grandparent. And then we have to give this name as the middle name

because that's another family name. Oh, whoops, all those names start with K. So our kids' initials are KKK. That's fucking brutal. Yeah. Well, I mean, did you see this? We got hit up by a bit of this during the week. But Amy Schumer had a kid. And how old's the kid?

I'm not sure. I think the baby's like not in its first year or so. It's like one or, yeah. But she, yeah, it might be one or something. So she named her kid, well, what was the surname? No, Fisher. So the the surname? No, Fisher. So the partner's last name is Fisher. And the first name of the kid was Jean and then the middle name was Atel.

So meaning that the kid's going to be called Jean Atel as in genital. And it took her a year to figure that out. I didn't see that at all. That's incredible. Yeah, yeah. There you go. 11 months old. Right.

So for a comedian to take 11 months to find out she'd named her kid Genital is pretty good. So what do you do then? If that's you in that position, do you then go, you know what? It's inside a year. I'm changing the name. Yeah, well, she did. She did? Really?

Yeah, she changed the name. I didn't follow this at all. Okay. So what'd she change it to? Yeah. Jean David Fisher instead of Jean Attell, which, you know, is not the worst idea in the world given Attell's not really a fucking name. I mean, she's named it after the comedian Dave Attell, I believe.

Yeah. Which is a great legacy from Dave Attell to be responsible for that fuck up. That's pretty good. That's incredible. Be great if she just keeps making the same mistake by accident. It's like, renames it. Oh, okay. Jean Mott Fisher.

Oh, fuck. I've done it again. Yeah. Yeah. But I'd love to be the one. The moment that you want to capture there is, it's got to be one of her comedian friends going, are you fucking serious? did you not realize that

your kids called this and her going oh fuck but yeah i mean but to be fair if it's taken this long it's like well no one noticed it it's not like straight away she's put the birth notice up on instagram or whatever and gone here it is and then like a million people have gone hey you realize this right like it has taken yeah like whoever did a load her to it it's still taken them 11 months to work it out as well what about if that was you as a kid and you grew up and then you found out that that fuck up was made would you be like no i want it back i want my birth name back that you know don't give me a disney slave name david i want that name back like if you found out that your name had really been tommy dong allsop oh big time and then and then because your parents thought oh we'll name after like a

foreign currency because that's you know it's lucky it's good luck to be yeah born into money sort of thing yeah i didn't realize it meant a dick yeah would you would you get that back i totally would go back to it yeah because also just like as a name as a like middle name attell is like more interesting than just david yeah yeah i would i would do it you because you don't have a middle name right so you could that that could be a hot contender for you carl carl member chandler yeah yeah yeah carl. Right. What would be the way I would fuck up Carl? I don't know. What can you add in the middle to make it sound dodgy?

Anything natural. What does Carl sound like? Carl Hole. That's so close to anything. Carl Hole Chandler. Carl Hole. Yeah, Hole. That's what, because it's sort of like ass. Kind of, yeah. Asshole. Carl Hole Chandler. Carl Hole. Yeah, Hole.

Sort of like arse. Carl Hole. Putting Hole next to anything sounds pretty bad. True, true. Carl Hole. Carl Hole Chandler. Yeah, it does sound bad. Right in the Carl Hole. Even just by itself, just someone asking you what's your middle name and you going Hole.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not great. Karen King. How did we get there? Thanks, Karen. Thanks, Karen. Sounds a bit like Kerry King, guitarist from Slayer. Yeah.

But King also, you know, K is a strong letter, King, strong name. King also, you know, case strong letter, King strong name. Karen's name has been unfairly, unfortunately sort of dissed lately, isn't it? Karen's now going down in history as the person that complains about things, isn't it? Yeah, co-opted by meme culture, I guess you could say. All the Karens of the world suddenly become shorthand for being a pain in the ass, complaining Yeah, I know. Yeah. I didn't mind Karen as a name before that, but all of a sudden, nah, it's done.

It's cooked. Sorry, Karen. Sorry, Karen. But thanks. But cool name though, King. King's good. Because obviously in primary school, the old roll call, King Karen. Ah, yeah.

Slightly confusing. Yep. Slightly confusing roll call there. No, actually I'm an eight-year-old and I identify as a king. Thanks, Karen. Thanks, Karen. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Merrin Middiford. Oof, a lot going on here.

Merrin. I know. Merrin. I'm looking that up. I'm presuming that that's traditionally a girl's name. I would say so, yeah. Is it? You'd guess that?

Yeah, yeah, if I had to. Well, I guess I do have to right now. You have to. Right now I'm in a position where I have to speculate. Yeah, I'd say. It's one of the few times where you have to. It is coming up. It's coming up as girl's name.

That's what I'm getting. Girl's name. There you go. That's what I'm getting. Girl's name. He's picked it. One for one. He's absolutely picked it again.

Yeah, thanks, Maren. Odd. Look, unusual name. I won't say odd name, but unusual name. I like it. I have to guess what gender it is. Sounds like Blanket is really causing a ruckus out there. Oh, can you hear Blanket?

Yeah. Oh, okay. Right. That just shows how good this microphone is. Shout out to the good people at... Like who makes it? Well, I don't think I'm hearing it through the Rodecaster. I'm hearing it through just your microphone

that you're talking to me on. Oh, yeah, you're right. Shout out to the good people at iPhone. The technical wizardry on display here at the little dum-dum club every week, that's what people have become accustomed to. That's what the people want to hear. I Googled Merrin, and the first person that comes up with the first name Merrin is someone that was on Big Brother 6 in Canada and is a male.

Is what? Oh, a male. Oh, okay. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Very interchangeable. Okay.

Fair enough. I guess just a lot of people like us going, what the fuck is this? And people have gone, I don't really know. Just use it however you want. Yeah. Go for it. It's good. It's a good, would that ever make your list if you're having another kid?

Would that be a potential? I think it's more of a, I don't know, it's more of a middle name for me. That's pretty good. You know, you can chuck something a bit more interesting, a bit more obtuse in the middle name category, I think. I think that's – is that, you know, you don't have to – if you give someone a bit of a weirder name, they've got to live with it forever.

But if you give them a middle name that's a bit weirder, it's like, yeah, it's just a bit of a, you know, a bit of an interesting thing for someone. Bit of seasoning. Rather than them having to – yeah, rather than them having to put up with shit their entire life. You don't get teased as much in the playground when you're a kid for a middle name, I think. Is that fair? No, because it's kind of up to you if you reveal it or not.

If you disclose it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. So if you've got Dong as a middle name, you can – Yeah. So potentially – so second child for you, Prince Merrin Chandler. Prince, yeah.

Prince is the first name. And that's for a girl. That's if we have another girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I treat Prince as a girl's name. Yeah, man, yeah. Look, maybe I'll get more of a choice if we had a second kid

because I got no choice for the first one. Yeah, no say. As I've detailed before, I honestly thought I was half a chance of being able to get Samui through as a middle name. Insane that you thought that was a chance. Insane. I really thought, you know what, I'm responsible for half of this kid. Surely I get a little bit of a look in.

Something. Give me something. A middle name I don't think is unfair. I've got no say with a first name. Zero say. Whatever I was throwing things up absolutely getting smashed back in the face over it.

Give me a middle name. Who cares about a middle name? You know what? Give me the second middle name. You have a take it you choose a middle name and then I'll have

the second middle name. Nah, didn't even get that. Does your child have a middle name? Yes. Okay. And you got no say in that? But didn't nah, didn't get a say in that either all right well yeah i mean yeah yeah this is the thing you got to just write out kid number two you got to

bring these points to the table make your case having said that having said that i just realized one thing i did get the surname not that i asked for it but she's got my surname that's a good point so that's something that's something yeah yeah. Because my wife doesn't have my surname. And again, neither of those things are my choice. I just went, I don't care at all. My wife said, do you want me to take Chandler? And I'm like, no, do what you want. I would prefer, we've talked about this, but I would prefer not

because it just sounds weird to me. Yeah, it's pretty antiquated. Yeah, she signed up the kid as a as a chandler which i was like oh okay we didn't even talk about that but yeah sure whatever how do you think how do you think you'd go with that uh with with what with uh the uh the surname of a baby with what would i want a baby to have my surname or my partner's surname yeah yeah um would you force would you force the surname dasolo on on your baby even though that's not technically your own name no i wouldn't we we have talked about this before though how that would be a very that would be a very funny move to do just create like so essentially like create the lineage

yeah yeah yeah. Because it's not even like I'm passing it on. I'm just inventing it. Yeah. And you're passing it on to a girl, you know, to a daughter that's then going to end that lineage maybe in 20 years' time or something. Yeah, good point. Yeah.

Yeah. That's worth it. Worth it. That would be tempting. Thanks, Maren. Thanks, Maren. Thanks, Maren. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Brad Olofsson. Brad Olofsson.

Olofsson. Yeah? Mm. Yeah. I like Olofsson. It's an interesting one. Still not sure how I feel about Brad. Yeah. I don't know how I feel about Brad. Yeah.

I don't have a chance about it as a name. Yeah, Olifson does sound, it sounds like to me it sounds like some sort of audio equipment. It sounds like some sort of reputable audio equipment that, you know, is possibly picking up the cries of Blanket right now. I would trust, if I saw

a box of audio equipment, I'd pay a little bit extra for an Olufsen, I think. Well, you know that is an actual brand, right? Oh, is it? Oh, that's probably why it sounded like that to me. Yeah. What is it? Yeah, yeah.

Oh, it is too. Yeah. Bang and Olufsen. Yeah. Oh, okay. I've just looked it up. It is too. Obviously, I knew that in the back reaches of my brain,

but I didn't know it in the front reaches of my brain. Yeah, Bangin' Olufsen. Yes. That makes sense. Brad and Olufsen. Is it Brad and Olufsen? No, it's Bangin' Olufsen. Man, that's a good name.

I just loved you going, this sounds like it could be an audio brand. And it's like, it doesn't just sound like it. It literally is. Well, that's why it sounded like it though. That's true. You can't bring me, you can't sue me over that. Like what I've said, I haven't said anything wrong there. I've just said something dumb there.

So if I said good morning, Carl Chandler, it would be reasonable for you to go, hmm, that sounds like my name. Yeah, that sounds like that's directed at me. Yeah. Okay, fair, fair. Or maybe – who knows? Maybe this person, maybe the reason that they have the money to chip into the Patreon

is because they're part of the Bang and Olufsen dynasty, which then… The Brad and Olufsen dynasty. The Brad and Olufsen dynasty, which then means presumably out there, you know, maybe we might start getting money sent to us by Mr. or Mrs. Bang, which would be equally as exciting for our riffing opportunities. Yeah, and also, like, we may have come up with a new slogan for them. Like, because by me saying that, you know,

oh, Brad Olofsson, that sounds like a good audio company. Like, that would be literally a good slogan for them. Oh, okay. Bang & Olufsen, sounds like a good, you know, that's gold. Would you buy audio equipment from a company that had something that borders on a pun as their motto? Well, look, a lot of people are buying audio from someone with the name Bang in it.

It doesn't sound like the most reputable company of all time if there's an explosion in the title of an electronics company. Bang & Olufsen have kind of a – they seem to have a bit of a – they're sort of seen as a prestige brand, I guess, but I don't think I've ever known anyone who's owned any of their equipment. I can't but I don't think I've ever known anyone who's owned any of their equipment. I can't say. Maybe you don't know anyone good enough to have the money to own any, though. Maybe you're running with the wrong crowd.

Maybe that's it. I feel like Bose kind of came out of nowhere and took over the mantle as the leading brand of the elites out there who want good quality. I think Bose kind of got in earlier with the wireless multi-room kind of thing. So if you're someone who's well off and you're building a new house, part of it is, okay, we've got to have these cool Bose speakers rigged up in every room of the house so we can just choose what we play throughout the whole house. I think maybe Bang & Olufsen dragged their feet with getting on board that technology. Yeah, do you think –

Sorry, Brad, but your family fucked it. Yeah, who do you blame, the Olufsens or Bangs for that? Maybe there was a bit of a schism. There was a bit of a – someone was – Bang was a bit too old school, was going, nah, you know, Wi-Fi, that sounds like a fad. Nah, other way around. You think of Mr. Bang, you're picturing someone in like cool sunglasses, a leather jacket. He's all about the future.

He's wanting to like ride the lightning, whereas Olofsson, you know, quaint, traditional, they're still living in the still living in a little in a little shack off the grid they just don't get it you know they're they're too detached from the modern world trying to polish speakers made out of stone on a fjord yeah exactly yeah i get it fuck him that's my hot take fuck him yeah nice thanks brad thanks brad Yeah. Nice. Thanks, Brad. Thanks, Brad. And sorry. Bang would be a fucking great last name. Bang is very good. It's sick, yeah. I don't even know you could have that as a last name.

Maybe that's it. Maybe I'm going to demand a recount, go in and say, look, I know our daughter's 14 months old, but something's come to my attention. Bang is a cool name. Yeah. I'm going to have to – maybe I'll come in and go, look, let's – I want to change the first name from Blanket to Bang from now on.

And then obviously I'm going to lose that battle. The first name? You know, because you – yeah, but you aim high because then when you sort of fight and then you come and go, look, okay, I guess I'll accept as a middle name Bang. And then it's like, oh, that sounds better than the first name. Oh, I see what you're saying. I'm fighting for the first, you know, I'll take that loss, but really I was aiming for that the whole time.

Overall, yeah. I thought you were going to say you're pitching for Blanket Samui Bang. Yeah, that would be good. But what about Bang Chandler? That's insane. Brutal. I would love to meet that person. Brutal.

The name and the act, both brutal. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Mark Calfy. Calfy. C-A-L-P-H-Y. Oof. That's a rough one. I don't know how to feel about that. Oh, really?

I thought it's interesting. Is that Irish or something? I presume that's Irish or, I don't know, something. Something that I don't understand at the very least. What do you think of the name Mark? I've got a lot of affection for it's my uncle's name it's a good name i think oh really yeah yeah i like it i i had a i had i have a cousin called mark and i was always like i always liked it i was always a little bit jealous i was

always uh i think very very early on i wanted the name james as an as a first name and then i think i changed it to mark i always always thought Mark was a strong name. Got some good letters in it. M, fan of M. R, very hard-edged, cool, fast letter. K, also, you know, always been a fan of K, obviously. And then you get – Just a sharp letter.

You do get to have that thing, too, where you then have – if you're Mark with a K, you've got the cool version of the name and you also get to have that thing that, of course, you're familiar with where there's then other people out there with the same name but a different spelling that you kind of get to look down on. Anyone that you know that's a Mark with a C, you get to be like sucked in. You're missing out on having a sweet K in there. Yeah.

Look, I agree, but I almost think Mark with a C is as good as Mark with a K. I quite like it. I don't know. There's something different about it. I don't mind it. Yeah. I think there was a – I think I used to watch a cartoon with someone called Mark in it. I think that's – you know, things very early on just like sort of influence the way you look at the rest of your life.

I think I saw a cartoon with someone cool on it called Mark and I was like, that's a cool name for the rest of my life now. Okay. Okay. I'd love it if someone could alert us to which cartoon that would have been. I'm looking it up right now. I reckon it might be. Did you ever watch a show called Battle of the Planets? No.

Or as it's commonly referred to as G-Force? No. No, I don't really know what it is. A bit before your time? So there's a character in that that's constantly walking around going, it's actually Mark with a C, thank you. Yeah, yeah. That's it.

I've just looked it up yeah it's the guy with the white helmet on battle of the planets there was there was mark jason princess keop and tiny you you look you look it up you'd be you would have been fucking all over that show as a kid if you had a known of it yeah yeah it's uh it was up there with Growing up It was called Battle of the Planets But the name of the You know the superhero team Or whatever they were

Was called G-Force So every kid would call the show Oh you're going to watch G-Force I'm like fuck It's called Battle of the Planets You fucking idiot It's the same with the show Monkey Where they would call it Monkey Magic

It's like it's not called Monkey Magic It's called Monkey There was a kid in my year who Used to refer to The Simpsons as Bart Simpsons, and it annoyed the fuck out of me. It just drove me insane. Are you going to watch The Bart Simpsons tonight?

Are you going to watch Bart Simpsons tonight? Oh, right. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This looks familiar. So it's like an anime that they adapted. Okay. I didn't know what anime was.

It was just like one of the rare cartoons as a little kid where everyone's eyes went just crazily big and you'd go, I don't know why this is, but okay, all right. But it says here this guy was marked with a K, according to the Wikipedia. Yeah, yeah. I didn't say. Oh, right.

I thought you were talking about that. It wasn't. That made you think that the C was cool. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I didn't say... Oh, okay. Oh, right. I thought you were talking about that. It wasn't. That made you think that the C was cool. Okay. Yeah. No, no, no. That's a funny... Just Mark overall.

Looking at this character design, it's like, that is kind of funny to have this Japanese adaptation and it's like big superhero space thing and have one of the characters be like, my name's Mark. Yeah, yeah. be like, my name's Mark. Yeah, yeah. Like, you would never get that so of its time, like, to adapt a Japanese animated show and give one of the characters a name like Mark.

Like, if they did that now, they would just stick with, like, the literal translation of what the Japanese name was. Yeah. Yeah. Mark, Jason, Princess, Tiny and Keyop. This show looks cool. Maybe I'll get into it.

You should get into it. I'm just looking it up now. Battle of the Planets. The voices, the number one voice they used was Casey Kasem. Oh, wow. Do you know who Casey Kasem is? I know the name he was like an american dj who was most mostly known and he played he was he was mark's voice he was mostly known for like

love song dedications like it's casey casem and the hottest hot 40 hot top 40 right like he was the main like announcer of like announcer of the top 40 and would do love song dedications Interesting And he also played a young Japanese male superhero Cool, good for him Very weird

What a very weird combo Thanks Mark Thanks Mark for leading us down that rabbit hole Alright I better go and look after my Yeah, thanks Mark Thanks Mark for leading us down that rabbit hole Alright I better go and look after my My child That's fair Bang Chandler

That's fair We've got Let's just do one more One more, yeah That'll do us That'll do us for this week Alright Hit the big red button

The big red button With the big poles The big with the big red stilt uh one more time um okay all right it's interesting um what all right okay oh no no it just it just reminds me of um yeah this name just reminds me of something we were talking about before that's all it's uh in what way interesting well i mean i don't know maybe you'll see it maybe you won't i don't know you know we're talking about karen king and we're talking about certain things about about her earlier on yep um the subscriber the first the first cab off the rank as it were yep um karen karen king with the initials and stuff like that anyway i don't know again maybe this is like an olsen thing where it sounds like something maybe it's not something in this

case oh okay yep this this just this sounds like karen king in some way this last name anyway we'll see yep what do you got uh thank you to patreon subscriber Grand Wizard Comedy. Right. Interesting. Does that ring a bell? Do you see that? Is that just me? I'm pretty sure there's a famous brand of stereos called Grand Wizard. Oh, really?

Yeah. Grand Wizard Audio. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Grand Wizard Audio. Yeah. So the idea of being the Grand Wizard of Comedy is a bit like, you know, audio yeah so the idea of being the grand wizard of comedy is is a bit like you know the upper upper high you know high quality high quality product right right right that's that's what grand means it means really good and wizard means magical so you know yeah that's that's that's a really

cool thing to be a grand wizard then yeah okay all right i get it yeah yeah you you want a really good magical stereo system so you go to grand wizard audio exactly yeah okay oh yeah i'm on board i'm on board and then whoever this grand wizard comedy is they must be the best yeah they must be the best at comedy i assume i assume. I assume they're really, really funny. Probably got some great live shows that they do out and about. Yeah. And also, I didn't really think about this, but with someone with a last name like that, I mean, that's worth double the money for us, for a fellow comedian to be chucking us money.

We must be really good if the grand wizard of comedy subscribes to us. So like if you're doing a gig ever again and you hear a comedian laugh up the back, it's like comedians are tougher. You know, they've seen it all. So they're harder judges. So hearing a laugh from one of your peers is like, okay, I guess that must be really, really good. Yeah.

And, you know, if it was someone called grand wizard to be giving us money well that that must mean that we're really on the right track and we're really talking about the right things if i think generally in life if someone if a grand wizard is sponsoring someone we must be you know having some really cool opinions about life i'd say yeah yeah for them to have found something in this show that they can connect with and really rate enough to chuck money in, then, yeah, surely that shows that we're doing the right thing here. We're doing God's work. Exactly.

Yeah. Exactly. They should invite us out one night for a barbecue or something. Thanks, Grand Wizard. Thanks, Grand Wizard. Thank you to everyone that subscribes. Thank you for all, however many we did this week, one, two, three, four, five, that did this week, and everyone that's on board and continues to be on board.

Hope you're enjoying all the bonus features that we're offering during these weird old times. Yeah, plenty of stuff on there, so get into the Patreon, littledumbdumbclub.com. You can find merch, you can find past episodes, you can find all the sort of stuff that we have on offer on there. Guys, thanks very much for listening. Hope you're all staying safe out there.

Take care of each other, and we'll see you next time. See you, mate. See you, mate.