The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 500 - Live! Tom Gleeson, Lawrence Mooney, Nick Cody, Brett Blake, Nikki Britton, Dave Thornton, with Nick Capper & Tom Ballard

Episode Date: April 5, 2022

IT'S FINALLY HAPPENED! The long-delayed 500th episode, LIVE at The Athanaeum! Things get off to a great start with NICK CODY as Tommy takes an ill-advised trip down memory lane. LAWRENCE MOONEY returns to the podcast to update us on his recent scuffles, TOM GLEESON delivers a mini version of Hard Quiz to us, BRETT BLAKE’s been to the movies, and NIKKI BRITTON’s gotten a dog. PLUS A very special edition of This Is Your Life, hosted by DAVE THORNTON!  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on The Little Dumb Dumb Club, the big live 500th episode from the Athenaeum Theatre. It's been a two-year wait, but it is a jam-packed affair with Nick Cody, Lawrence Mooney, Brett Blake, Tom Gleeson, Nikki Britton and Dave Thornton. If you like what you hear in this one, we have a bunch of live episodes coming up April the 16th, April the 23rd and april the 24th yes there's been a little change interesting i can't wait to uh find out why but i'd rather hear this new episode

right now tommy so i guess we'll hear all about it later on in the meantime we need to let you know that this episode that you're about to hear is brought to you by friend of the show and guest on this episode brett blake his show, Smoko King, that is on now at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival until April the 24th. He's at the Western. And, yeah, I've seen a bunch of this material. You would have seen a ton of this material, Carl.

And it is great, great stuff. He's in rare form at the moment. Exactly. He's been red hot in the comedy rooms leading up to Comedy Festival. He's been absolutely smoking some gigs. So he, and I've seen, I've seen a preview of this show and it's very funny. So yeah, check that out. Tickets from comedy.com.au.

He's one of our best little buddies. He really deserves your support. So get along and check that show out. You won't be disappointed. But until then, enjoy this huge live episode, The 500th Little Dumb Dumb Club live at the Athenaeum Theatre. Hey, baby Don't you remember You were my lover You were my friend

Hey, sister I know you remember You left me alone Now you're going back home Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Sorry, sorry. Sorry.

I know you've come out. You're all excited. We just very quickly. Sorry, we're going to have to delay the show again. Sorry, quickly. It's all good. It's only a delay of like 45 seconds. So you can still hold on to those tickets.

Same venue, same seats. So don't worry about it. Don't bring ticket tech or anything like that. Just right. Something's come up. I've come down with needing to take a piss. So we're just going to delay the show again. You guys are used to it by now.

Welcome to the 500th episode. Hey, mates. Welcome to the Little Dumb Dumb Club episode 500 live at the Athenaeum Theatre. My name is Tommy Dasolo. With me as always, the other hub of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day you guys! Wow. Oh my god. I can't believe we're playing a venue with three tiers.

Like, there's about a hundred of you that could Westgate yourself right now if you wanted to. Yeah, that'd be pretty good. Please don't try it. I think it's irresponsible of us to even have joked about that up the top of the show. We've had a lot of stuff on the socials today of people saying they can't make it for whatever reason. And I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, Carl. That also applies to me. I'm on the clock. I'm going to have to get out of here pretty soon. There's an event on for the Food and Wine Festival

down the road called the Big Spaghetti and I think culturally and ethnically it would be irresponsible not to show up for my people. Look, blood is thicker than water so fair enough. Yeah, marinara is thicker than water. Let's have a big shout out for Stadler and Waldorf Alsop my people. Look, blood is thicker than water so fair enough. Yeah, marinara is thicker than water, yeah.

Let's have a big shout out for Stadler and Waldorf Alsop in the box seats. There is just for people at home there is a, what do you call that, a little balcony, like you know the Muppets, you know Stadler and Waldorf

there's two people that are sitting up in those seats. You know Abraham Lincoln getting assassinated, so... They're not up there because they're, like, attention seekers or whatever. This is true. The only... If it seems weird that they're up there, the only reason that they're up there is because they didn't want to be sitting in amongst you all, OK?

So... And just to be clear, I don't think Tommy's explained, that's Tommy's mum and dad. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Not the actual Muppets. A little bit of context. Big guests. Big guests. We got the Muppets in. Daddy Waldorf. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Thanks for turning up. That's quite a fucking effort. That was... Man, that fucking empty seat's near the front. I know, it's good. I'm sorry, I can't help it.

What's happening, this seat here, is this a now broken up with partner of one of the two of you on either side? No? It's a front row seat. It's a front row seat. There's people at the back of the third tier that can barely see what's going on.

If you guys want to jump, honestly, you can... If you want to be jumped and then crowd-surfed into a better seat, then go for it. Oh, look, someone's taken the front row already. Someone's getting ushered into the front row. No, actually, we'd rather not see that person. Can you put them further back? Can we put them further back? No, okay.

Alright, alright. Guys... Yeah, everyone, just get up and let this person in. This is... Yeah, this is what we waited 708 days for. No big deal. And we couldn't have done that in the half an hour before that we were running late for. So cool, guys. Thanks so much for coming. But look, as we all know, we've been waiting for two years, for two years for this fucking episode to happen. Thank you very much for your patience. Thanks for hanging on to your tickets, all that sort of stuff. It all came

up a little bit quickly on us, to be honest, because of all the delays. We didn't really believe it was going to happen today. So we never really got around to planning the opening of the show. So what we did do at the time was we planned the opening of the show two years ago. So we're going to just use that if that's cool. Yeah, we're just going to, we haven't had time to write any new material. So yeah, we're going to have use that if that's cool. We haven't had time to write any new material, so we're going to have to get into this. This is how we were going to open the show. I think it's all pretty relevant still.

Okay, cool. Hey, guys. Hey, Tommy, you know I'm pretty good at keeping secrets, but I'll reveal one now. It's a big occasion. It's the 500th episode. I actually know some of the members of the Avalanches. They're mates of mine.

I love to give shit to them though. Especially because of one thing. Because of how long it took them to put out a second album. Can you imagine delaying your content for that long? Fucking just give it up, boys. Yeah, Carl, look, I've never told you this before, but I've been talking to my girlfriend about

this and I just, there's, I've always wanted to get pegged. It's just something that, and look, I'm only telling you this in confidence because, there's I've always wanted to get pegged it's just something that and look, I'm only telling you this in confidence because, you know, we're friends and we work together so if you can just yeah, just don't make a big deal about it, you know My lips are sealed, forgotten already

Look, Tommy, as I was just saying to our first guest coming up backstage my good friend Ronnie Chang I said, hey, Ronnie to our first guest coming up backstage, my good friend Ronnie Chang. I said, hey, Ronnie, I might just go for a carefree solo trip to Thailand soon since I don't have to worry about having a kid or anything. Hang on. No, it's early 2020. You had a kid at that stage.

Yeah, what's your point? Oh, speaking of Thailand, Tommy, it's as good a time as ever to announce something really exciting. I know we said we weren't doing it this year, but I'm officially announcing the return of the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival. It's taking place in March 2022.

And we've already confirmed one guest, paid for the flights and a con, of Shane Warne. So, non-refundable flights at a con, which reminds me we really should look into getting insurance this time, I reckon. That reminds me we have another big announcement. We love travelling and doing the podcast in different places, and so we've decided to do our first ever monthly residency starting April 2020

in Perth. We've locked in two years of live podcasts every month, FIFO style. Fly straight in, fly straight out, it's so easy to get there, and to get back, nothing could be easier alright let's wrap this up

Tommy alright yeah so look we're all going to go for a drink after the show obviously you know we've got to get through the show first

but ask the guests probably plenty of these guys here we're all going to go and have a beer after the gig are you going to come along well Tommy I've

actually I've got my kid so of course. Hasn't dated at all. Probably would have been funnier then. Just saying facts about the current time. Hey, we have so much to get through. Are we cracking on?

Do we just start getting the guests out here? Let's do that. Let's get number one guest. All right, folks, please welcome out our first guest of the day. He was the first ever guest on the Little Dum Dum Club. Please welcome our very dear friend, Nick Cody. Cody! G'day, mates! Let Hansard show that Nick Cody's wearing shorts on stage.

He's put a fucking Swifty on me. He's been backstage for an hour with long pants on. The other night, it was late at night, I was holding my baby, and I just started laughing out of nowhere, and my wife said, what's so funny? And I said, I'm going to fucking wear pants. And then swap into shorts when Chandler doesn't know.

You think we've had a lot to deal with backstage and getting ready for the show. For the last half hour, I've had to deal with Cody coming up to me every two minutes and going, do you think it'll fuck him off? Do you reckon he'll be mad? He'll be really mad. He'll be really mad. And then I went to the toilet, I got a text from you,

I'm going to wear shorts. You were the most excited I've ever seen you about anything. You want to annoy him enough to get a laugh, but not enough that you don't get another invite to Koh Samui. It's a real, ooh, nice edge. No, you're middle ground. Nice middle ground, man. That's good.

Cody, you've been an integral part of the show over the years. You were the first ever guest on the podcast. We've been overseas with you. Like you mentioned, Koh Samui. We went to America with you once. We went and we did a road trip. And the idea, do you remember this, Carl? The idea was we were going to drive from New York, New Orleans. We were going to go to New Orleans, then we were going to drive with Cody down to LA. And Cody bailed on us. He bailed on the road trip.

I remember. At the last minute. And this is, I don't want this to just turn into a clip show, but we did something on the show at the time that I think a lot of people probably haven't heard. And I thought about this the other night and I thought we should revisit this because to get you back, while we were in New Orleans we were at a piano bar there was this jazz man there who would

put money in. There was a jazz man. There was a jazz man there. What a boomer. Sing us a song. Jazz man. Excuse me my fine jazz man. Will you do me a favour for my podcast? Pardon me, Mr Skiddlybop,

but you can put some money in his little cup and he'd, like, impro a song for you. Yes, right. So we got him to improvise a jazz diss track about Nick Cody, and we've got it here. Let's hear it. Let's hear it. You had a couple of worthless gigs to play.

Yes, you did. Yes, and you sent us all on our way. By ourselves, just the two of us. We were supposed to be three amigos. Yes, we were But now it's just a couple of worthless brothers, you see Worthless brothers? Yes, and we're so pissed off at you

That you don't even know it's true Got a piano player down in New Orleans Talking all kind of shit about us. We've done this wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. Yeah, so guess what? When we come back around, it ain't going to be able to climb it like it used to be. I didn't know I was coming to a clip show either, by the way, guys. Listen, you, we're going to put you out. Mr. Nick Cody. on to a clip show either, by the way, guys. Did you take your money back out of the cup?

Should we have edited this? I did edit this. It was four times as long before I got the scissors into it. But yeah, great memory. Or so I thought. All of a sudden, shorts doesn't look too bad, does it? I wish that was a bit more shorts.

I didn't know we were running short for time. Fuck. Yeah, yeah, just stretch out, play the Jazzman song again. Reclaim that $10 American dollars back on tax now that it's been in the show again a decade later. Jazz, always known for being short and snappy. That's what I love. The least divisive of all the musical genres.

Yeah, our philosophy on the show, start strong. At least he knew me. Last week, the gala was at the Palais and Ben Lomas... Oh, we're aware. Ben Lomas. You'll be right. Ben Lomas was doing warm-up, and after warm-up,

the host came out, did ten, and then Uncle Jack came out, did ten and then Uncle Jack came out and did a welcome to country. Legendary Indigenous dude, did a welcome to country. Comes out the back, I'm waiting to go on. And he said, mate, I've just got to say and he grabbed me by the shoulders and I thought, here we go.

Some profound knowledge from Uncle Jack. He said, mate, you are the best warm-up guy I've ever seen. Nice. Hang on, was this, I think I know this guy's last name, was this Uncle Jack?

Brutal way. Alright, now they're warmed up again, let's play the jazz song again. I think they're all ready for it now. Let's get warmed up again. Let's play the jazz song again. I think they're all ready for it now. Let's get to another clip. Let's go to another clip. By the way, I have to thank you guys for my second baby, little baby Max,

because he was conceived at the house of a dum-dum listener. Oh. In Brisbane. One of the comedy family. One of the comedy family. So thanks and no thanks really I'm really fucking tired Patreon subscriber or

I don't know, not a discount giver I'll fucking tell you that much Man I've been here for four months He's still doing daily rate Alright champ, appreciate it Shout out to First name? Little Max No, your baby Appreciate it. Shout out to... First name? Every... First name?

Little Max. No, not your baby. Shout out to an infant. Shout out, Maxie. He loves pods. Yeah. Just Maxie on his commute to kinder or whatever. Just an old podcast.

We do hear a lot of people fall asleep listening to this show, so nice to have a baby as a substitute of the white noise machine. Very white noise. I do forget the bloke's name, though. Unfortunately. I don't know. He should be the godfather.

You think? Suddenly, give him something. Alright, we've got to clip through it. Shall we get our next guest out here? Please welcome back onto the podcast, Lawrence Mooney! Take it deep, take it deep. Wherever you like, wherever you like. Welcome back to media.

Well, thank you. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Some mean things have been said. It's interesting because I was working for Triple M and... Don't yell it, please, whisper. Triple M. That ended abruptly. and... Don't yell it, please whisper. Chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip about a jazz guy, which is one of the most racist terms I've ever fucking heard.

He's a black man, okay? I don't think they truck with jazz guys down in fucking L.A. or New Orleans or anywhere else. Excuse me, sir. Excuse me, are you a jazz man? Down the back of the bus. It's like,

fucking hell. Are you Senator McCarthy? And they let you go from Triple M, you said? Yeah. Yeah. No one understood my sophisticated view.

Was it just a secret down every morning, hello, was it racism? I'm not the racist one here Sorry, I forgot Anyway, um It was very nice of Mr. Alabama to do that That's a joke for us three and you guys still laugh for some reason Shorts is now the third most worst thing that's happened.

Shorts is just climbing the ladder. I'm just excited to be out, okay? It's just nice to be back in Melbourne. I've been living in Sydney, New South Wales. What's wrong with that? They're more interested in the view than, say, books. Right. Hold on, I think last time

you were on, it was live in Sydney and you were saying Melbourne can eat shit, Sydney's the best. Yeah, that's right. Now I flip it around. I think you called Melbourne a feminist gulag when we were up in Sydney doing the show with you.

Well, lucky there's no girls here tonight. That makes Jazzman look PC. Yeah, you've got a point. Hello. Nice to see the Queen and Prince Philip up there.

By the way, your son's a fucking pedo. Bang, I'm back. He's back. Pedo, pedo. Oh, we miss you. Melbourne missed you, Moon. This is a lot tamer than I thought it'd be so far, honestly.

I'm taking it easy on it. This is a lot tamer than I thought it'd be so far, honestly. I thought, should we go out and reminisce or just fucking get into it? It's been a long journey with you guys. 2010, I think, was the first time I did a podcast with Little Dumb Dumb Club. The day I crashed my motorcycle, but still came in to do the podcast. You did too. And yet a few people got a little bit of a sniffle and they didn't fucking come in today. Oh, fucking COVID-19

killed me, Nan. I fucking smashed my motorbike and still did the show. Fuck you, Nan. Alright? It's amazing how things can change. She doesn't listen to this podcast. Fuck her!

Over the 12 years, yeah, that first time you came in you'd just come off your motorbike and then it's amazing how things can change. She doesn't listen to this podcast. Fuck her! Over the 12 years, yeah, that first time you came in, you'd just come off your motorbike, and it's amazing how things can change over 12 years. You came in today, just cuts all over your face. Oh, yeah. You've got a cut in the middle of your nose. You know that's not where the coat goes, right? No.

Oh, idiot! Yeah, I haven't been in a bar fight. I'll just give you one sentence and then you can finish the story on your own. I was over at my mate Pete Lawler's house in St Kilda. It was 4am. We were still up. Up early for the sunrise? Hot air balloon ride coming up?

We had just done... Just reminiscing about his old job. What happens to our hearts? Which, yeah, just keep me up till 4am and go straight through and be unintelligible on the radio. By the way, best person to follow in a job is Lawrence Mooney. I followed you at Triple M Brisbane and I went out one night for State of Origin.

I got home at 2.30 in the morning, woke up at 4, got in, the show's from 5.30 till 9. I didn't talk until about quarter past 6. And afterwards I apologised to the boss of the station and I go, sorry mate, I got maggot. And he said, at least you went to bed. And then someone else said, look at Nick

in different clothes from yesterday. Hey, one thing you can say about the Moon Man, Freddy Krueger will never get him. I have done three shows in the same clothes. Maybe that was one of the reasons. Anyway. The nightmare on Caxton. So, anyway, last night I met my mate Pete's Place and he goes, have you ever tried

virtual reality? Good time for a bit of tech talk, no. And he goes, okay, so I put the goggles on and he's telling me how to use the buttons and shit and the triggers and this elevator door opens and I walk out on a plank and he goes, now fly. I smashed

into the wall so hard. So you put the goggles on and thought you were fully plugged into the thing? I just leapt forward and flew. Good on you, Uncle Tron. He goes, no, no, don't really fly. I'm like, what are you doing? Anyway, he goes, he takes the mask off. He goes, fuck, you're bleeding.

You're bleeding a lot. We're going to get that stitched. And I said, just push it together and put a bandaid on it. He goes, fuck me dead. You hit that wall so hard, I thought you broke your neck. Who wants to hear a Malcolm Turnbull? So anyway, I'm 57 next month and I'm really evolving. Yeah.

Booted from Triple M, but you've got a new gig in the metaverse. Just killing it every morning. Well, I'm not doing virtual reality again. To be fair, you were doing those fuck-ups in reality as well. But it's too real. It's like, fuck, I've landed.

You're a fuck-up in every realm. You can astral project and get hit by a fucking comet or something. I did put my dick and balls on an overhead projector once. Oh man, that story ended way better than I thought. Don't you laugh. Should we get another big...

I've got to go to my other job. Oh, you actually do, don't you? Yeah, I've got Saturday afternoon fever. Fuck, I think I've enjoyed this more than you have. So that's crossing the comedy line. Thank you very much. Congratulations to you guys. Thanks, man.

See you, Moon Man. Hey, Moon, you can just fly if you hop off the stage. Uh-oh. Oh, it's all happening. When I first saw you today, Tommy, I thought fucking Elliot Goblet's now doing the dumb dumb thing. Happy 500th,

everyone. What an honour. See you, Moon. See you, Moon, man. Lawrence Mooney. Lawrence Mooney, everyone. Oh, wow, that was harsh stuff. Let's get our next guest out here, someone who's just going to pump us up a bit more.

A bit more positive. Yeah, a bit more positive. Please welcome to the stage Tom Gleeson. Welcome to Heartquake. These contestants are podcasters. Last one to plug their Patreon will be the Hard Quiz champion. Let's say hello. G'day, Carl.

Thanks for checking your notes. Your expert subject is Thailand. Yep. Is that right? Yeah, that is right You really love Thailand Yeah, yeah, yeah And it's not sus at all, is it?

No, no G'day Tommy, your expert subject is video games Yep, yep Okay, is that, do we call them video games? Still? I don't know, okay Right, here we go Question one, Carl Me

Here we go Over a year ago, you lost your wedding ring at the gym Right, here we go. Question one. Carl. Me. Here we go. Over a year ago, you lost your wedding ring at the gym. Recently, you replaced it and told your wife you paid over $1,000 for it at a jeweller's. Yep. When you actually bought that replacement ring at a market

in Phuket. Wow. How much did you pay for it? $500. Lower. $200. Incorrect. The correct answer is $0.85 or $20.

That's actually true. Is that true? That's true. 20 baht. And it doesn't even fit me. You didn't try it on? That's like my genes. I just thought, oh, my finger will grow back in Australia

or something. You're like, I can't be fucked going into the changing room to put this on my finger. Just take your word for it. Do you like how Nick doesn't have an expert subject or just left him sitting there? I felt there was a window to leave and I missed it, so... Now we're here.

Well, your expert subject can be compromising artistically to do commercial radio. Thank you. Hang on, so he's already beaten me 1-0? And coffee's my middle name. All right, Tommy. Yeah. Nintendo was founded in 1889, originally as a manufacturer of card games

in 2004 which Nintendo character did Tommy's mum walk in on him masturbating over? I did write this before I gave him the tickets I'll be honest it was Samus from Metroid in the sexy zero suit that she wears. Incorrect. Nice try.

It was Yoshi, you sick little fuck. I was going to call you a boomer for not knowing how to pronounce Yoshi, but you look younger than I do, so I can't really... Someone had a slippery banana in his room that day. Oh, yeah. There is beer about to land on the front row, which I'm intrigued by. Yeah, anyone up in the top who's just gotten here now, I haven't pissed myself because I'm enjoying the show so much. Get a pic. Get a pic, actually. Yep, sorry.

It doesn't look good, does it? It's like the equivalent of a sundial. When that's dripping onto the front row, we know to wrap up this kid. It looks like you've been playing with Yoshi right now. It looks like something you step over when you're near a homeless person. Compassion's not my forte.

Is there something about that seat? I'm hosting. I'm hosting. I have to be on my feet when I'm hosting. Carl. Yes. Second question. Yeah. Yeah.

Yes. Yes. Forget the top five what's the one single best thing about going to Thailand that's a tough one

alright oh how long have I got I'll go beach beach incorrect the best thing about you going to Thailand

is that you're not here Incorrect. The best thing about you going to Thailand is that you're not here. Alright, Tommy. In 1983, the Nintendo Entertainment System was released. How many bits was the central processing unit? 64. Incorrect. It was 8 Yeah, coincidentally the same number of punters

that were in your solo show last night Would you like to plug your show? 7pm, Cooper's in tonight Calm down guys, still a few seats left I'm not going to plug my show because you're a smaller audience than my show I'd be downsizing, wouldn't I? I'm the only one on the bill that can say that.

Classy Cody, 9.30, high five bar. Alright, here we go. Carl, statistically the overwhelming main reason for white Australian males between the ages of 40 and 50 years old to visit Thailand is for sex tourism. There's no question there. I just wanted everyone to know.

Tommy. Yes. Last question. Okay. Name the horror series of games involving undead creatures which released its first instalment in 1992. Resident Evil. Incorrect. The correct answer is Alone in the Dark,

which is also a description of your sex life. So it's nil all. And there are no winners! Do you know what the sad thing about that is? He wrote the questions. That's how little I care about this show. He texted me, do you want to do this show? I'm like, yeah, alright.

Do you want to read out some questions? Fuck it, I don't care. Can we use the branding and all of that? I don't give a fuck. Thank you. Should we get another guest on? Yeah, let's get another guest out here. Please welcome back into the Little Dumb Dumb Club,

Brett Blake! Yes Oh yes See this is the bonus of coming to the live show You're missing out on seeing Brett Blake mop a stage Great work, thank you King Who thought he was going to drink that? The guy out

the back, there was Gleeson, there was Mooney, goes, come, when you go out there, can you mop some shit up? He wasn't even joking either. He goes, it's going to leak through the stage. I was like, I'll get a champ. Anyway, really bad plunk for your no-dorks shirt. Oh no, there's a safety hazard.

H&S first, everyone. Very confident. We can see your balls, mate. I'd be very quiet if I was you. Or SHL, as you'd say. I still don't get it, but yeah. Thanks for being part of the show, Blakey. What do we have for you?

Mate, nothing. You thought of a story backstage and then Brett got very paranoid about what it was that you were going to bring up. No, but you told me about your show last night. Your comedy festival show last night. Last night I'm performing at the Western, which is like a five-star hotel.

Makes no sense why I'm there. There's all these rat's tails and shit in there now. It's sick. This lady came into the show 15 minutes late with her friend, and I was like, I'll just let it slide. Then about 10 more minutes later, she started talking. I was like, mate, you've come in late.

If you don't want to be a part of the show, you can just fucking leave early as well. She goes, my friend was hit by a car on the way here. She had her friend next to her and she held up a broken arm. And then I was like, are you okay? And she goes, yeah, I'm okay.

And I go, well, odds are I was out the front of the Western. It was a Mercedes, so underneath would have been very clean. It probably would have been an airbag and a white glove giving you a latte when you're under there. Finishing off your taxes, you know. What are you complaining about? Also, I was saw the front of the

Western, wasn't that a tram? Oh yeah, that could have really fucked her, yeah. I was thinking Mercedes for some reason, that's how they park, you know? Were your instincts kicking in, you running in with the mop, cleaning up the blood under the car? Mate, I've got a job, I'm happy, you know? You know what, our friend

Nick Cabo, who can't be with us tonight, he's a bit crook at the moment, whatever. And... Hang on. Hang on. Wow. It's called cancer, Carl. A bit crook, whatever.

He's got the sniffles. I thought I was trying not to say the C word, and I found a word that's worse. The W word, whatever. To be honest, it's hard to tell because Nick's going through chemo at the moment and he's never looked better, you know? He's looking really good. He's lost a lot

of weight. He's looking handsome. We're all pitching in and doing the right thing for him and picking him up from the hospital. There's a bit of a roster happening when he's getting his chemo and all that sort of stuff. And bringing him out to lunch or whatever. And I hit him up the other day and I said, look, is it my turn? Do you want me

to come and pick you up from the hospital? I'd love to take you out for lunch and do whatever I can for you. And he said, oh, no, I'm right. But you know what you can do if you want. Me and Blakey are going to get on hash oil and go and watch Jackass at the Hoyts. And it was sick.

I thought I was going to pick him up in a wheelchair or something and he's like off his gut seeing someone's dick get chopped off. Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville and this is going into a crowded room during a pandemic while I have cancer. Fuck me. We both went and bought Iron Maiden shirts and went to Time Zone and we were the highest people there. It was sick.

It's all these teenagers like, man, you guys should really lay off the drugs. We're like, whatever, nerds. And then because it was a daytime, there was no one in the cinema. We were like, we felt like kings. It was sick. And then I think after that I did your gig, so sorry. Anyway...

The public health care system is falling apart. Just get Blakey to drop some hash oil off. That's actually what happened. I got a subscription, of course. Anyway... A subscription to hash oil. Yeah, yeah, they drop it off monthly. They give you a new strain.

Anyway, here we are. Like it's HelloFresh, just a new box every week. You make it yourself. It's great. Joe. Oh, you know what happened the other day? My mum hit me up. My mum still lives in Maryborough with my dad,

and there was a thing in the paper, and, you know, small town things in the paper. Everyone gets excited about it. Everyone hits you up that lives in Melbourne now. Our one taxi driver that we had, like 25 years ago or whatever, was in the paper for, like, grabbing passengers and grabbing passengers and touching people and all this sort of stuff. I wish I'd waited until the end. Just a little grab, whatever.

That's the privilege of being the only taxi driver, though. Yeah. Because you're the only option. Yeah. So you can abuse everyone and they'll still book you. Yeah. There's no option. There's no Uber.

Yeah. There's no Uber Meribah, right? It's the best. Yeah, but to be honest, if you get an Uber, they're going to no option. There's no Uber. Yeah. There's no Uber Meribor. I know, it's the best. Yeah, but to be honest, if you get an Uber, they're going to do the same thing, you know? Yeah. So that was happening. So everyone's like talking about going, oh my God, can you believe this? Do you have any stories about him, you know, like touching anyone?

You know, this is fucking, how bad is this? And then I told my mum and my mum was like, yeah, I knew something was up with him. I was like, oh, why did you, were you in the taxi with him one day? He goes, no, no, no. Mum says, he used to come into our cafe and walk in with a pre-existing sandwich and then say, just put a bit of ham in there, will you? I'm like, that is weird, but I don't think it's the gateway to

sticking a finger up some lady's arse in the taxi. Fuck, no, fuck that. Put him on a list. Kick the front door in. Send a SWAT team.'s arse in the taxi. Fuck that. Put him on a list. Kick the front door in. Send a SWAT team. That's a fucking weird unit. Bit of ham on a pre-made sandwich. I love it.

And would they do it? She's like, yeah, I guess so. Like, what do you do? It's the one taxi driver. Yeah, buck for the slice. There you go. Still making something off him. No, I think it was freebie.

Freebie? Free ham? Wow, he's taking your parents for a fucking ride. Exactly. It's like the cops with Maccas in Maryborough. The cab driver gets a free bit of ham wherever he goes. So are we awaiting something? Should we get to our next?

No, I mean, should we get surprised or not? Should we get to our next thing? Is there someone who's... Should we get to some stage? I didn there someone? Should we hit some stage? I didn't organise anything. Is there a surprise? Oh, wow. Oh, shit.

Whoa. Sorry, guys. Sorry. Whoa. Are we... Will, if you can hit any of the cues that I gave you

at any point, that would be great. We could be surprised by the music cues. There we go. Oh, whoa. That is amazing. $17.

Only $12,000 to hire this theatre, whatever. That's good stuff. Guys, I'm actually here to appraise your house. No, I'm... Well, I only look at Gleeson. He's the only guy that can afford one. Oh, look, it's the landlord with all these tenants. That's great.

How good's that? Hey, don't insult me. What do you mean, one? Well, sorry, guys. I really should introduce myself. I'm show businesses and Fox FM's original talent, Dave Thornton. Byron. Greg.

Tommy Deslow, Carl Chandler and the Little Dumb Dumb Club in a dated reference that Rad Dad would love this is your life oh my wow I know clutch of bells

what a surprise to us and the techie yeah it took me about 30 seconds I'm like mate can you open

the curtain my hands were like fuck what and that's why that's why we've while to come out here. At least you didn't have to come and clean the fucking floor. So here we go. Let's have a little stroll down memory lane, guys.

Oh, okay. Podcasting, hey? The medium of people that are somehow too ugly for radio. Ah, memories. The best part is your dad loved that. Roasted. Hey, can I just point out that this is actually your dad's photo album.

It is, yeah, yeah. And there was some of the most sepia-toned, pedophilic photos in here in the world. Some crook outfits but whatever. If the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Jesus. It does have don't open when I die written on the front.

Leave him alone. He drove his cab all the way from Maryborough to be here alright. Shit. There we go. I'll throw him up a bit of ham in a minute. So, Tommy all soft-dass alone. And Carl makes Alan Jones look like a ray of sunshine Chandler.

Two lovable losers. Wait, that seems a bit much. I hardly doubt they're lovable. But Tommy and Carl met 14 years ago at community TV station Channel 31. With the likes of Rove, Pete Hellyer, Tommy Little, and a little host of This Is Your Life at the Dum Dum 500th episode. And that is still, to this day,

the peak of Tommy and Carl's TV career. They weren't getting paid to write for TV back then, and then they thought, wow, why don't we make a career not getting paid in another medium? So what a pairing. I'll just go through some of the achievements you've had over the last 12 years.

There's fuck all. No, admittedly, there were early hopes that maybe you could both take over commercial radio, which would have answered the age-old question, what if Hamish and Andy were shit? Hey, play the jazz band again. We've gone through a lot with Tommy and Carl over the years

obviously Carl's he became engaged got married of course had a gorgeous little baby daughter blanket and Tommy's gone through the rollercoaster ride

with PS3 PS4 and PS5 got that day one and that was fucking hard to do so you've got to give it up for that. I'm proud of you. Tommy, as we all know, had cancer.

Or whatever. A bit crook. Whatever. They're called sniffles in your bones, are they? Classic leukemia. The marrow flu. The marrow flu. And as we all know, Carl is cancer.

So... Of course, one of the absolute highlights of their career is the remarkable three times they've travelled to Thailand to record live podcasts. What a great time. Which obviously makes a lot of sense in hindsight because this podcast would go well in a country that doesn't speak English.

So, good stuff, guys. Over the last dozen years, we've seen your friends start off hopefully as young comedians and absolutely zoom past both of you and get things you yourselves could never dream of getting, like Netflix specials, breakfast radio jobs, Absolutely. Zoom past both of you and get things you yourselves could never dream of getting, like Netflix specials, breakfast radio jobs, paid ten-minute spots at comedy clubs. I must admit, I feel like my profile's gone down during this podcast.

I feel less famous than I did walking into this building. It's funny because next to her she looked like fucking God So all joking aside This podcast is very successful I mean have a look at this show here This afternoon ladies and gentlemen What an obvious contrast Between their podcast And their stand up

Today we're watching a podcast with close to a thousand people And if you want to hang around afterwards their podcast and their stand-up. Today we're watching a podcast with close to a thousand people and if you want to hang around afterwards, I believe they're doing their stand-up shows in the disabled toilets. Still some tickets available. I feel like fans of this podcast, when they look at your comedy, they're like, we prefer it when you plan less. We don't like it when you think about

what you're going to say. Now obviously being This is your life, we've actually got a couple of friends that might be swinging down that unfortunately can't be here this afternoon. Oh, nice. So what we've got now is the high technology of my iPhone.

Yep. So can't even get the fucking Wi-Fi here, so it's all on this. But guys, I'll put on loudspeaker now. Who have we got here? I'm a big chubby gay who likes refugees. That's right. It's homosexuality's own Tom Ballard.

That's right, guys. What have we got here? Also, how old are you, Dave, that you don't know the speakers? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Hold on Whoa. Whoa.

Hold on. Fuck yeah. Wow. Looks like Blakey's got another job. Dave, officially the oldest man on the stage, was holding the microphone up to the picture of the phone on the screen. Up to Tom Ballard's mouth on the picture. Tom, anything you'd like to say about our two podcast hosts?

Sorry, who is this? My phone just says 0438. No, no. Fucking got you, you dogs. Look, I just wanted to reflect on my favourite Dumb Dumb moment. Congratulations on 500 successful episodes. My favourite moment was from a little night back in 2017. It was unrecorded, never released to the public,

and I have here just some of the thoughts from that particular night that I had about Tommy Daslow and Carl Chandler that I thought it was worth just really quickly running through. Is that OK? Am I still on air, Dave Thornton? Yeah, you're still here, mate. You're still here. It's a good set-up to the story, though. It's worse than the jazz man, but keep going. Tommy Daslow, everybody.

I love Tommy Daslow, or as cancer calls him, the one that got away. Tommy loves storytelling comedy. Here's a story. Once upon a time, there was a little girl who should have died of cancer. The end.

Hey, Tommy, if you love drawing so much, why don't you draw yourself a better face? Tommy is so ugly, not even fleety as fuck him, and he needs the residual chemo. Can we kill the phone signal in here somehow?

Sorry, Kevin. I used to live with Tommy Daslow, and I absolutely loved it. Living with Tommy really puts all your problems in perspective. How can you kill this hard with such bad reception? I can always look at Tommy and think, well, at least I'm not that. Are they grading? Fuck you, this is dumb-dumb.

Can't harden up. All right. Carl Chandler. Carl has been inside his Thai ladyboy so many times he's thinking of opening a room in there. He's going to call it spleen comedy. Hey, Carl, just because they're one-liners doesn't mean you can leave out the punchlines.

Well, that's not a play on topic. Anyway, summing up, I think real dumb-dumb heads will remember a time a few years ago when Carl told a story about his torn anus. Remember when his anus was torn? It was a great time. His little fanny was more torn than Natalie Imbruglia. And I'll never forget

during that time, Carl actually took me aside, bent me over and spread his cheeks to show me his torn anus which is the closest he'll ever come to opening for a famous comedian. Wow. Fantastic. Great stuff.

Thank you so much. Tom Ballard, ladies and gentlemen. Tom Ballard. What a pick-me-up, eh? What a great visit. Yeah. By a good friend. This is really touching.

Now, this is a bit of a surprise, guys. What we've got right now, someone who hasn't been on the show but is a big fan of the show and has left an audio message that we can play for you right now. Or in a bit.

Another surprise to everyone. No! No! No! It's good to be back on Channel 31. It wouldn't be the dumb dummy if it wasn't a fuck up in the audio would it Yeah we don't usually pay for something How did the jazz man get played perfectly

And these bits come fucking wild Yes My god Crystal clear jazz man It starts with an S It's the file that starts with an S It's Oh my good heavens

a fucking bub. I'm making my way up to the third tier in a minute, honestly. And then making my way down real quick. Oh no. Doing the old indoor Westgate. Oh no.

Making my way from Yarraville to the city have we got it? have we got it there Boochance? anywhere? just give us a yell if you want hi I'm Chappelle Corby happy anniversary to Tommy

and Carl I heard you like Thailand better than Bali Hi, I'm Chappelle Corby. Happy anniversary to Tommy and Carl. I heard you like Thailand better than Bali. I probably have to agree with you there. Have a great day, guys. What do we think, worth the wait or...? That was... Was that a cameo? That was an $80 cameo.

And she can't even be bothered turning off the radio in the background if she does a cameo. I think she turned it off. Are you saying Chappelle Corby makes bad decisions? I will not hear that. That was an $80 cameo delivered within the hour. Don't think there's a lot going on in Corby town. Surprised she could figure out how to use a phone anyway.

Well, guys, it's going to be hard to top that. There's no audio cues, is there? Because I think it's going to be easy to top that. Guys, a friend of the show, Emily, hasn't been on for a while because he's been very busy doing Netflix specials on daily shows. Marvel movies. Who is it that we've got here as a guest this afternoon? Hello, this is Ronald Chang.

Ronnie, where are you right now, Ronald? In Asia. where are you right now, Ronald? Um, in Asia. Okay. Oh, wow, thank you. Thank you so much for being part of the show, Ronnie. It means a lot to me. I haven't talked to you for so long.

What have you been up to? Uh, not much. Just doing, um, karate. The Asian style of fighting. It may or may not be particular to where I'm from. Yeah. Ronald, sorry, so you're an Asian comedian. So what is your heritage specifically? Chinatown. I'm from Chinatown.

Wow. From cancer to cancel. The Nick Capa story. He's certainly doing a great accent or whatever. Hey, Nick, how's the flu going? I'm wearing the hat if it helps. Okay, okay. It's comedies, Nick Capper. Nick, what are you actually doing here? Ah, mate, you know what?

I'm actually... I couldn't get through to the line. I couldn't get through. Everyone kept putting me on hold, so I just had to pretend I was Ronnie Chang. And got through straight away. I mean, makes sense. Mate, currently

you wouldn't believe it, I'm bald, I'm in isolation, and I've been typing on my computer. So basically I'm Tommy Gasolot. For years. Yeah, so it wasn't, it was just, this wasn't instructed by the state or anything like that. I just, I needed to get away from Carl. So yeah.

How was, how was Jackass 4? Yeah, it was good. It was good. I wasn't allowed to drink, so I don't know. I just went to time zone before it. Did you do anything else? Is that all you did? No, no.

I just masturbated like three times. You missed that, but not the other stuff? At the time zone you masturbated? What? No, that was before time zone. Actually, I did one after time zone, but we'll talk about that later. I'm not being recorded.

Some real aggressive dance dance revolution moves. Thanks for bringing it, Kappa. We're really, we're about 20 minutes over time. We better go. We'll talk, we'll, I hope you're better or whatever. Okay, I've just got a short story I'd like to tell. No, just kidding.

Yeah, alright. See you later. Thanks, Dumb Dumb. You guys are great. Woo! There you go. So, Tommy, Carl, that was your 500th episode of life. And I know the next 100 will just zoom by, like, literally in

fucking 15 minutes. So, great to be here. Thank you. Dave Thornton, everyone. Dave Thornton! And I know the next hundred will just zoom by, like literally in fucking 15 minutes. I'm going to turn this shit over. So, great to be here. Thank you. Dave Thornton, everyone. Dave Thornton! All right, we've got one more guest to get out here. Please welcome into the little Dum Dum Club,

Nicky Briden! Grab that one. Thank you. What is that? Yeah. Anyway, you're not even mine. I don't know if you know, but Ronnie just rang in, so... You're not. Me scoozy. Yes. Well, it's more diverse than the Wednesday night comedy line-up on the ABC, so... It's all men! Because we're better at comedy. I think me and Tommy proved that's not true.

Nikki, we were asking you before the show, we said, you know, we're trying to... The aim was to keep it tight. We're kind of, like, rolling through guests and we asked if you had a story you could tell us that's kind of in line with the kinds of things that you've told on the show before that people have really loved.

You said you got a dog recently. Oh, yeah. I mean, it all fucking pales in comparison now. I'm figuring the bullshit that's gone on. But, yeah, I got a dog recently. Thanks so much. Yeah, he's fucking adorable. And he's a rescue dog because...

I'm better than most. And I was talking to, like, the trainers and stuff who work with rescue dogs, and I said, how do I make him feel comfortable? Like, I don't know if he's got trauma and they're like just give him everything he wants like for the first month or so just really give him what he wants and um he must have had kids in his previous family and he loves kids and uh one time I found that he really enjoyed popcorn chicken that was just a trial and error situation, but he does enjoy going through the drive-thru in a small popcorn chicken for himself.

Anyway, I found myself... He runs through the drive-thru? Are you taking him through the drive-thru? Well, I was just, you know, like yeah, I was driving. I found myself there, accidentally I guess, and then it turned out he really enjoyed the smells of

the 11 herbs and spices. Anyway, he acquired a small popcorn chicken. And then I thought, okay, I'm really going to give him everything he wants. We got a small popcorn chicken from KOC and we parked near a school. And he watched all the kids coming out. And I knew, as I hand-fed him popcorn chicken, and he watched the kids, that he was having a lovely time because his red rocket came out so

far and so now I'm hand feeding a dog who's got a clear erection for children and I'm like Is his name Prince Andrew? Yeah It had a Ghislaine Maxwell feeling about it for my role in the whole thing

and I was not happy. I didn't feel right about it. Anyway. So he's got a red rocket when he's eating KFC and it just makes me think, man, I wish Lomas was here right now. We really missed him. He was supposed to be here. Yeah, I mean, I don't know.

It's probably different around the kids. It's fucking spicy there, isn't it? I mean, I think that story fits in beautifully alongside the suite of content that we've had so far in the show. Yeah, I mean, yeah, a bunch of dogs' dicks up here. Jets out. At what part of Lawrence Mooney getting the audience to chant Ped-o, ped-o

Did you think, ah, the horny dog story's not going to fly with these guys It's not the time, it's not the occasion for it That was out of context for me Because I was downstairs in the dressing room Just like, can you see the alpha vibes that are up here on the stage? I was down there just like Oh, maybe I'll go home and bake a cake and have a bubble bath Trying to feel some kind of feminine energy again I was down there just like, oh, maybe I'll go home and bake a cake and have a bubble bath. Oh, God.

Trying to feel some kind of feminine energy again. So I didn't hear everything that was going on. This is why people are like, oh, women aren't funny in comedy. Women are fucking intimidating! Look at this! But you guys are all very kind and I love you very much, but I will be going home to read a cheeky girl's mag.

If it helps, everyone is coming out thinking more of you and less of us. Thanks. Thank you so much, guys. Well, if it makes you feel any better, Nikki, I'll hire you as a hard quiz writer when I need some diversity. So kind, Tom, but when will you step aside and let me host? No, no, no. Never.

You can host a show, but you have to create the format. I'll work on it. I'll get... Yep, anyway. You know that I can make or break careers. That's why you hesitated. Yeah, I'm aware.

I'm aware. I used to write on your show and now I don't. Yeah. And after that I won a Gold Logie. After. After. After you were no longer there.

Alright, we had better wrap this up. We are going to... Yeah, that's the end of episode 500 of the Who Would Go Back Up. Give a big round of applause to Tom Gleeson,

Nicky Brin, Brent Blake, Lawrence Moody, Dave Thornton, Nick Cody. Thank you so much for coming. Come on, Tommy Desmond, Kyle Chandler. And they've done it again. Bernie has finally, he's been winding up for two years. Bernie has finally, he's been winding up for two years. He's drawn his foot back to the back of his head,

like a fine-tuned bow, and just absolutely let roost. Yep, that's it. Two years of build-up, and what a hot crowd. There was a lot of love in that room. What a tantric pod it was. Two years of edging. Yep, yep. We had a fantastic set that we got designed for us by Callum Preston, who did a fantastic job.

People will have seen the photos on the socials probably by now. Absolutely. Get onto the socials and have a look. We'll try and put as many pictures up as we could because you told me about this idea a while ago, you know, two or three attempted dates ago, Tommy. And I was like, yeah, okay. And then to see what actually he came up with was like fucking hell. It was much, it was, no, I mean, not more than, much more than I expected, but it was more impressive than I expected.

It was fantastic. Yeah, he was raring to go at a moment's notice for all of the dates we had, except for the one that he was going to be overseas for. But, yeah, he's been getting the tools out and then putting them back away when we've cancelled and postponed the dates. So, yeah, great to finally see this come to fruition. Great to have people walk into the room and think they were just going to be seeing a bare stage with five stools on it and instead get a little bloody

Pee Wee's Funhouse action going on. A little scary bullshit happening. But look, in the time that he's been putting these little visual cues together, a lot of running jokes and stuff he visually represented on the stage, we probably came up with a few new ones in the meantime. He probably had to start working on a new running joke or two. Yeah, yeah. A couple of them were a little bit dated i think what did

we have um yeah look still uh okay we had well the centerpiece was like a big 500 and then we had like a little dum-dum like a west gate on either side of that with the words dum-dum on either side we had a sign pointing to the west gate uh we had an unplanned title alternator. We had a Make-A-Wish laptop. We had a bag of applause cat food. We had a Chang beer. We had an Officeworks card covered in shit. We had some brown ice cream. And I think maybe that's all of them. What's he done?

Have we asked him when he's done with all this stuff? What could you do with it? in his they're just in his studio he he told me to tell people at the end of the gig if they wanted to come and grab them they could take them really um as like a little souvenir but i completely forgot about it um because i was busy contracting covid mid-gig oh sorry so that kind of distracted me what was sorry i just i was busily contracting covid oh okay um so that kind of okay i kind of uh i? Sorry, I just... I was busily contracting COVID during the week. Oh, okay. So that kind of... Okay. I kind of...

I got a bit busy doing that, so I completely forgot to tell people in the crowd. But I believe he's still open to... If you get in the People Aware group, I believe he's still open to people coming in. Sorry, can we just go back a minute? If you'd like a big Officeworks card covered in shit in your bedroom...

Yeah, yeah, what? There was just something you – I think you buried the lead back there. Just after the Chang Beer, but before getting the aware group and asking for stuff. The Make-A-Wish? No, no, no, no. The computer from Make-A-Wish? No, no, it wasn't a prop. It wasn't any of the props that you were naming.

There was a personal bit of news of yours in there somewhere. There was a personal bit of news of yours in there somewhere. Oh, I've been self-isolating for about 12 hours at this point. Right, okay. So that's it. You've got the world-famous comedy store, except for not comedy store, but virus. Yeah, we tried to get this guest to come down on Saturday at the show.

They didn't respond to our emails, but they made a little surprise visit. They snuck in. I mean, I assume. I assume I got it there. But yeah, I've been struck down, struck down in my prime, the prime of my life, by the beautiful novel coronavirus. Well, our thoughts are with you. Our hopes and prayers, Tommy Dasolo.

Yeah, how is it? What is it? Does it hurt? It does hurt a little bit, yeah. My throat's pretty sore. Yeah, I would love to, you know, be fucking in bed instead of doing this. But, you know, yeah, it's not ideal. It's certainly, I think I really have gotten it at,

honestly, the worst week you could possibly get it in, really. Any other time, leading right up to the comedy festival, when I was tempting fate going to weddings and going on flights, I was like, you know what, this will be great. Get it over and done with and then be clear for the festival, have those antibodies, but not right in the fucking middle. I would say there's a worse time to get it and that would be before the 500th.

In fact, I think it's almost anti-dumb-dumb, the fact that you got it straight after we actually achieved something, something that we've been waiting for for that long. Yeah, getting it right before the 500th would have been funny i haven't coming that close and testing positive the day before that would have been fucking awesome that would have been you're right it's this is actually the worst for you for everyone else it's you know everyone else has heard the app and been to the app and time moves on and great and whatever but if that's if you had got it before then of course everyone would

have gone yes i know i had money on this and then we would. But if you had got it before then, of course, everyone would have gone, yes, I know, I had money on this. And then we would have been able to talk about it. Oh, they've done it again. The dum-dum curse. So at this point, are we now regretting the fact that we got to do the 500 and 600? Because we would have got more content out of it. I certainly am.

Yeah, I certainly am for sure. Well, another friend of ours, I believe, may have contracted the famous virus at the same show, which is our friend Milan. Yeah, interesting. He probably went to 17 bars after the show, so maybe it was there. Yeah, that's true. When did he test positive?

Yesterday. Okay. So probably 24 hours before you. So look, I don't know. It's a wild world out there, folks. But if it is, he beat you at coronavirus. So, of course, because I now have to isolate for a week, we have to delay.

Well, I mean, yeah, we do get to delay a show. We get the thrill of delaying a show. Not the 500. The long delayed. But the next best thing. The long delayed 600 and second episode. 600 and second episode, yeah. Which we are now moving from this weekend when it was going to be on April the,

what was it? Yeah, April the 9th is now moving to Sunday, April the 24th at 9.45pm. Correct. So everyone who's holding tickets should have already been contacted about this. And if you would no longer like to attend that event because it doesn't suit with your little social diary, absolutely hit us up. Otherwise, enjoy the show because it is on a public holiday eve. It's on the very last day of the Comedy Festival,

which traditionally would coincide with a drunk cast. And so, you know, look, I think we're just going to have a nice, loose actual episode instead of a traditional drunk cast. Or maybe it becomes the first recorded Melbourne drunk cast. Who knows? But you will know if you come along to it. Yeah, that's an easy way of finding out. Yeah, so look, hopefully you guys can make it.

Public holiday eve might suit you better. Saturday afternoon,ay evening maybe it's a little bit better it clashes with fucking i don't know the block or whatever but uh you know you can catch up on one of the various apps this is live and in the moment yeah uh it doesn't clash with any of your cricket grand finals or any of your bloody weddings or anything like that it's uh it really only clashes with you watching, I presume, Sudden Impact on Seven Mate or something like that. But anyway, look, get on the socials, find out all about that.

We'd love to see you there, but little Tommy is obviously right in the prime of feeling shithouse at the moment. So if you don't mind, people at home, let's get through this a little bit quicker than usual. We are going to thank all of you people out there for letting us live our life in this manner. And we really appreciate everyone that gets on patreon.com slash little dondon club and subscribes to our show, gives us money. We sure wouldn't be doing this without you. And as a little thank you, we'd like to read some names out.

Not everyone's name today, but just some names we haven't read out today. So we were going to read out every name that's subscribed that we haven't gotten to yet. And that was the plan originally today. I was heading around to your house. But now that this has happened, it's's just not it's not feasible it's not and also you know i believe um uh the virus has gotten into the unplanned title alternator as well because i've been working on it the last couple of hours and i'll tell you what it's it's only able to spit out five names so there's something drastically wrong with it i've never seen it behave this way right before so i think that's a covid symptom right so is it lack of taste and uh scratchy throat and uh can

only remember five names yep so is that so i've got mom dad my partner Oh, this will be good. Who's the fifth one? The man who gave me the book. That's all I can recall at the moment. Everyone else has left the ether. Well, I wish we could name that person, but unfortunately you've forgotten even that, I'm pretty sure. I'm hoping. The lawyers are hoping. Redacted.

But, right, let's do this. Let's read out some names let's let's say thank you to the people that have bought the cod drill that you're about to to absolutely

freebase thank you very much number one first cap off the rank this week thank you very much to Patreon subscriber and it's quite a name thank you to

Bailey McHaddock McHaddock. McHaddock. A Scottish fish. Okay. Yeah, okay. I don't mind that at all. I like Bailey as a first name. I don't mind it either. I don't mind it as a first or a last name.

I'm reasonably fine. McHaddock, look, I think it's one of those ones where it looks nice from afar, but if you were attached to that in any way, yeah, I think you'd have a very different viewpoint, I would imagine. Yeah. Yeah, I'm thinking, I'm conjuring up, I'm just picturing this guy looking like Captain Haddock from the Tintin comics.

The fucking drunk, the drunk sailor. The drunk, abusive sailor. Not aware. Not really aware of the Tintin. I was more of an asterisked man than a Tintin man. Okay. Interesting. Tintin's pretty cool.

I liked both of them in equal measure. I thought asterisks... What was the idea behind Tintin? What was the actual... How did it work? Tintin, he's a little journalist, and he's kind of... He goes around and he's reporting on stories, and then all of a sudden he's, like like busting opium rings and stuff like that.

So he's like, he's a reporter, but then he's kind of like, he's a bit, you know, he's a bit like, he's kind of, what would you call him? A vigilante almost. Is he a kid? He turns up and he's like, oh, I'm just, yeah, yeah. I think so. I think he's meant to be quite young. I think he's meant to be like early twenties or something maybe. But he's like turning up, like he's like oh i'm just yeah yeah i think so i think he's meant to be quite young i think he's meant to be like early 20s or something maybe but he's like turning up like he's just

reporting and then all of a sudden he's like you know sneaking around into like you know gang gang hideouts and stuff like that you know what i was i was thinking in all in search of a you know i was thinking of of tin tin the other day because uh it came up and i i was thinking that i remember there being in year seven a book reading competition and I was like dead into books back then. And I was like, there was a competition in year seven, early year seven, and it was like read the most books in, I don't know what it was, two weeks, three weeks, four weeks, something like that,

and you get a prize. And I'm like, yeah man i fucking i read books for breakfast i'm gonna fucking cane this thing yep i remember those reading things yeah that was sick i loved that school so then i'm like right and i'm banging through them i'm banging through these novels and so i get up to whatever it was 80 or something it was like some big figure and uh anyway this bloke pips me by like five i I'm like, who the fuck is this guy, this little weirdo? And then he pulls out his list, and they're all like Tintin books? And I'm like, can't.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure you've told this on the show before as your explanation of not liking one of the great works of art of Tintin. Purely spite of this. But Carl, that's not Tintin's fault. That's the school's fault for allowing that through. For you to hold a grudge against the artwork of Herge and his opus of Tintin, the school should be going, fuck off, cunt.

You can't be sitting here with a bloody pamphlet and counting that as a book. Absolutely. But the thing I was thinking about, why it came up in my head the other day was I was still shitty about it. I was still like, why the fuck? And then I was like, hang on,

why didn't I just say I read more? There was no means test. It was just name some books. What the fuck? Like it was an honor system. It was just come in with a list of books and if you have the biggest list, I guess you win.

Yeah, I would have loved to see a teacher during those things just like chuck the lie detector test on a kid and just be like... Because as if as a teacher you wouldn't know which of the kids that are going to be lying about it. Like, they'd be so easy to spot. And also the calibre of book that they've put down and then just like subjecting them to a pop quiz about the book and then all of a sudden finding out that it's all made up that would actually be great if like they they pushed

this guy on the books and went okay well what happened in this tin tin book and he's like oh fuck you got me i actually didn't read it it's like wow you lied about reading a comic book you couldn't just yeah yeah snowy's doing something yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. They should. They should teach kids to feel shame at a younger age. I want to track this guy down. I want to do it like Seinfeld with the race, the great race they had. I want to have a really run the race. Let's me and him read books for two weeks.

And what are you saying to him now? Definitely no comic books this time? Or are you saying they're on like if if it was on back then then you know it'll end up being it'll be the same deal you're just racing through hot stuff and yeah yeah yeah hot stuff yeah it's um it'll end up being the same thing i know nothing can change it'll be the same thing i'll be in there like busting apart fucking you know tolstoy as i want to do and It'll be the same thing. I'll be in there like busting apart fucking Tolstoy as I want to do. And he'll be handed in copper art catalogs. And I'll be like, oh, fuck. And they'll be like, well, there was nothing in the rule books about it.

It's reading matter. You didn't say it. You said no comic books. You didn't say any catalogs. Yeah. Well, thanks, Bailey. You've inspired the rematch of the great read-off. You've inspired me being mad about a pointless competition at 12,

and I'm a 46-year-old man. So it doesn't take much, to be fair. So, yeah, thanks, Bailey McHaddock. The Scottish Fish. So it's like the play, Macbeth. The Scottish Fish. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Daniel Webb. Bold of you to say the Scottish play out loud before.

You'd think you'd be, you wouldn't want to be tempting fate with any potential bad luck at the moment. Yeah, well, I figure we've had it all. Is that reverse bad luck? Did it all happen? Did that all happen on the weekend? Did you get the coronavirus because I just said Macbeth then? Maybe.

Is it the opposite butterfly effect? Did you say it? Oh, right. It went back in time. I see. What was his name again? Daniel Webb. Daniel Webb.

Webby. An intriguing Webb. Daniel Webb. Webby. An intriguing Webb. Yeah, Webby. We saw our tech guy, Webby, over the weekend. Hadn't seen Webby for a while. It was very nice of him. I did hit him up in terms of doing a little bit of work for me at another gig at the same time, and he said,

I'm sorry, I'm busy right then. I've bought a ticket to your 500th episode. I was like, oh, that's very sweet of you considering the amount of shit we've yelled at you over the years when you were working directly for us. Yeah, exactly. Good on you, Webby. It was good to see him, though.

He's been painting his shed, he told me. You know what else I thought? I thought he was looking good. Looks like he's lost a little bit of timber. He's looking quite fit. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'd fuck He's looking quite fit. Yeah, yeah. I'd fuck Webby at the moment. Yeah.

That's not a compliment. But Daniel Webb, I'm sure he's looking just as good. I've got a distinct feeling his eight-pack is glistening in the sun. I'm going to say Daniel's hotter than the Webby that we're

talking about. Wow. Bold. Yep. You know. No offence other Webby but this Webby I mean

Patreon subscriber that's the hottest thing there is. Remember years ago I did I did posset an idea. I wanted to have

I wanted to see who was the hottest male dum-dum listener. Oh yeah. I'd still like to know that. Have we got any male models out there? Man-on-man style. We got any, like, I'm thinking of, like,

the glass ceiling for male listeners of this show. Have we got any sevens out there? Is there any seven and a halfs or anything out there? Anyone that hot? Yep. Yep, yep. I reckon that's probably as high as it goes. Yeah.

I'd like to see the top ten. Listener, Catwalk, any absolute Adonises out there, if you listen, feel free to send in to Home Guys or whatever. What do they call it in the picture magazine or whatever? Home Guys? Yeah, I'm not too sure. I don't really want to solicit for this until we know that we've got the live show venue that's got a big pool in it

that we can just push the unattractive men into. Dumb oh dumb. Anyone that doesn't pass our hot man test, they just get shoved into the water. That is a great idea to have us with just a kid's wading pool at the European Beer Cafe or whatever, and me and you are judging how hot men are by pushing them in a pool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so cool that that was a show where it was just literally like get in the fucking pool

what was it what were they doing were they were they doing were they competing were they like answering questions what was it that got them pushed in the pool was it like they were voted on by women about how like attractive they were i don't know i couldn't say i was a i was a watcher of it i yeah i do not well like many many, the only thing that's in my head about that show, Man, Oh Man, was it was hosted by a man called Rob Guest and it involved men being pushed in a pool and that's all I got. Yeah. The host, Rob Guest, was the Phantom of the Opera.

For some reason, he was the Phantom of the Opera and they went, you know what you could host? A very shallow, weird competition on Channel 7. Yeah, yeah. And it really being, I remember it kind of, it's setting our house on fire. Me and Dad watching it together. Mum not interested. Isn't that weird?

And you. Just me and Dad watching the hot, hot competition on Channel 7. And you and Dad fighting over, nah, I reckon he's fucking hot actually. Nah, you don't know what you're talking about, Tommy. Come on. Yep. Yep. Yep.

A lot of that. Yeah, mum, absolutely no interest. Mum off in the other room doing something else. And yeah, me and dad. Me and dad arguing over the little beefcakes on Channel 7. You and your dad having a nice little bonding experience about, does that guy do anything for you or not? Some little movement. Yeah, kind of. No, no, I wouldn't fuck you or not? Some little movement.

Yeah, kind of. No, no, I wouldn't fuck him. Yeah. No. Okay. Oh, listen to that. I've never heard the virus out loud like that before. That's great.

We've got him on. We've captured him on film. Yeah, finally. Does it feel like, you know, I keep thinking about this, like I haven't had it yet, but I keep thinking, you know, you've seen this thing in the news for two years, and then is there some sort of like little sort of starstruck moment you're having right now where you're like, wow, it's here.

It's in me. I have, I mean, I have had a few periods in the last few months where I've thought I've had it and kind of gone and done the rat test or the PCR and then gotten the result in and been like, oh, here we are. I'm about to say that it's positive and it not be positive. And so I kind of thought maybe I just had a cold because like the weather's changed a bit and I was sitting outside on Saturday night and I thought, oh, immune system's probably down. I'm sure it's just that. But because I was going to, well, I was going to go around to your house today and we were also going to do something with Luke Heggy

and I thought, oh, look, I'll be, I should do the right thing if I've got a bit of an inkling. And yeah, that moment of seeing the like thick line on the rat, I was like, this can't be real. Like, yeah, probably what I imagine it's like to just be walking down the street and see Tom Cruise in front of you. Like, are my eyes playing tricks on me? Like, this can't be right.

Because the first one I did, I did one where you hold the UV light up the little UV torch onto the thing. So the line isn't, the line's not, like, there permanently. You can only see the line underv torch onto the thing so the line isn't the line's not like there permanently you can only see the line under the torch so i put the torch on it and i saw the line immediately and then the more i looked at it i felt like oh are my eyes playing tricks on me here like maybe maybe it you know in the and again in the same way that I imagine you would feel if you saw Tom Cruise in the street. Like, well, do I just want that to be him or not him? You're definitely having a proper good look, aren't you? You're not looking at Tom Cruise going, that's him, and then move on.

You're staring at it. Yeah, you're squinting. You're really, really making sure. Because obviously, and the same with the COVID test, your whole life is different from here on out. So you need to be certain. You know, you need to know that you've definitely seen Tom Cruise because that's going to impact how you live your life from here on out because now you've got a story.

And you also need to be certain that you've definitely tested positive for the novel coronavirus because, again, your whole life is, at least for the next week, is changed forever. You've seen Tom Cruise and you go, fuck, I think that's actually him. Now I have to go home and sit in my house for a week and not see anyone. Yep, yep.

I have to email everyone who had tickets to me doing my show. I've never seen Tom Cruise before and be like, yeah, look, I've had to cancel the show. It'll be back in a week with a different title, and I'm just going to have to rewrite the whole thing because now it's all a lie. It's all a complete sham. Oh, Tommy Cruise. Yeah, well, thanks, Daniel Webb.

Thanks, Webby. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber David Van Heldwiesen. Heldwiesen. Heldwiesen. Well, H-E-L-D-U-I-S-E-N. Heldwissen. Heldwissen. Yeah, you're... Heldwissen, I reckon.

You're right. David Van Heldwissen. Heldwissen. Hmm. Yeah, okay. I like Van. That's for sure. Like, Carl Van Chandler.

I could top that. What are the origins of Van in a name? Like, what's it, you know, what does it denote? That's a good question. Is it German? Is that what country you're coming from? We're about to find out. It is very funny because, like, you know, you grow up and you hear these, you know,

people's last names and it's Van Helsing or whatever. Not that I've ever met someone for that. But if you take that away, it is very funny just to have a vehicle as basically a middle name. Van. Tommy, Tommy, Truck. Yeah. Dassolo. That's not bad.

I'd go for that. Tommy Van Dassolo. Carl Helicopter Chandler. Yeah. Carl Train Chandler. Yep. It's good because Carl already sounds a bit like car, so having train or bus following it up makes you sound really simple. Carl Car Chandler would be even better.

My name is Car Bus Chandler. Is it too late to add middle names to my daughter? That could be, because if you just had Van as a middle name, people would just assume that's your last name, Van Chandler. No, no, no, that's just, I just like to really make sure that you know the middle name of my child. What is the cutoff for naming your child or changing your child's name?

Because didn't a Kardashian just do that with their child? They changed the name. At what age would they be like, fuck off, you can't come in here. That's a good point because at some stage there's got to be a point where you go, no, you're not allowed to do that to another person. But certainly you're allowed to do it when the kid's six weeks old.

To a baby that has no idea, but you can't bring in an 11-year-old and be like, what about naming your kid Wolf or something like that? And then going in and changing the name to just like James, like giving the kids some really like kind of hippie or like new age or just anything really out of the ordinary. And then you come back in like a month later and you're like, yeah, look, I've gotten cold feet about this. I really want to fly under the radar.

I think it's going to have to just be Chris. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder if there's a, I wonder if there's a i wonder if there's a you know like a bit of a scheme there where you can go yeah as long as you come back in this amount of time you can you can change the name for free yeah like a warranty exactly 90 day 90 day try it yeah take out the baby call it jackal see how you go with it yeah and if you don't like it yeah yell at it from the other room see how it see how it tracks introduce your kid to a few strangers you know your family just

sort of going to be like oh cool you know bring her out in the street and say my kid's called jackal and if people go you're a cunt then it's like ah fuck sorry i wasn't i was a bit you know like the birth was pretty full-on for me i'd never seen a baby come out of a human vagina like that before. And I really just lost my nerve. And I did have John in the chamber, but then I was just, fuck knows what I was thinking. It was all just a bit of a shock. I just got spooked.

Yeah, yeah. I went into a fugue state. I didn't know what I was saying in that maternity room. Yeah, yeah. It was the oral. I had a bit of an oral faint. I just don't ever remember saying jackal. Why the fuck would I have said that?

So, yeah, I would like to know if there's any, I don't know who I'm asking, but is there a stage where, is it two years old? Is it four years old? Is there a point where you cannot change your child's name anymore? Let us know. I'm sure someone will know the answer. Yeah, let us know. But look, David Van Helderson, is that your last name?

Is that your middle name? Yeah, I think Van's a good middle name though. I think. Van's good. I like it. Yeah. I like it. Thanks, David Van Helderson.

Thank you very much. Thanks, DV Helderson. Thank you very much. Thanks, DVH. Yeah. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber. Okay. James Lean. Not James. James.

The singular of James. James, we all know how James is... One James. James is like several people. This is just one. Yeah, I guess I never really realised that. It's sort of like a bit of a Rat King situation where it's just like a bunch of Jameses that have all gotten, a bunch of James that have all been stuck together

and now they're known as James. Yeah, right. I'd never really thought about that. Yeah, all the Jameses you've met so far are heaps of Jame, like, stacked on top of each other in a trench coat. Yeah, they've all been, yeah, now that you mention it, yeah, they have all been wearing trench coats. But, yeah, just the one Jame for me tonight.

I couldn't possibly have more than one. Yeah, I don't want to spoil my dinner. I don't want to load up on too many James. Too many James. So just the one James. No one's going in halves or anything for this Patreon subscription. It's just one person subscribing. And his last name is Lean.

James Lean. Which, you know, is I guess quite timely given that his first name is is very lean there's no there's no fat about it yeah exactly second jame yep yep he's not leaning on anything he's not leaning on a fucking ass that's just hanging around like a little passenger he's not leaning on a on a plural or anything like. He's just standing up straight by himself going, no, there only needs to be one of us here. I'm happy to go out on my own.

Yep. Yep. I like it. Are there other names that are commonly you know, they sound like they're a plural. Yeah, what is the first name with an S? Well, Chris. I mean, they sound like they're a plural. They've got like an S at the end. Yeah, what is a first name with an S? Well, Chris. I mean, that's just multiple cries.

Chris. Yeah, that's not bad. Yep. What else is there? People are going to be screaming at this episode, but I'm very quickly trying to find names of people I've booked for comedy gigs and seeing if there's any more S's on the end of first names. But I'm coming up very short.

You're not trying to Google just names that end in S? I already just quickly Googled just before van names and it just came up with the names of different vehicles and I'm like, that's not what I wanted. Different van companies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Models of Tarago and stuff like that. Yeah, it is a tricky thing when you,

you know when you Google something and you go, hang on, I don't know the answer to this and I also don't know the question. This is a fucking tricky one where I can't even figure out. Every now and then, I have to, like every now and then I do the wordle every morning and I have been tempted to cheat every now and then because I'll have like three of the letters, like I'll have like the second now and then, I do the Wordle every morning and I have been tempted to cheat every now and then because I'll have like three of the letters,

like I'll have like the second letter and then the last two. And then I'll think like, ah, maybe I can Google this. And it's like, well, what are you Googling? Words that have E as the second letter and then LM as the fourth and fifth letter. It's like, cunt, no, you're not getting any results here it is it is sometimes do you ever do that when you you google something and you go this is i don't even know what i'm fucking asking here and then google does some amazing heavy lifting and goes is this what you want and you're like how the fuck did you know that like you've just gone into like a

q shop and gone oh have you got one of those, you know, little round things that I remember when I was three and they sort of, you know, they were a bit like, woo. And then this old cunt just come and gone, you mean this? And you go, what the fuck? Are you magic? Well, same with YouTube. You know, YouTube, you go, there's no way that this weird thing that I remember seeing on TV when I was eight would have been archived and cataloged by someone. on TV when I was eight would have been archived and cataloged by someone. But of course,

of course it has. And of course there's a million views and people in the comments going like, yeah, this used to make me really horny when I was a kid. And you go, oh, okay. Don't really like,

don't really like what I've stumbled into here, but I'm glad that it's, you know, YouTube ever going to take anything down? Is it just, it's just there forever. Like, is there no screening process where they go,

you know what, this has been here since 2009. I reckon everyone that has, everyone's seen it that wants to see it. I think it's coming down. Yeah, I reckon,

I reckon Charlie bit my finger can hit the bricks. Yeah. Like, that kid's like 20 now. Like, everyone's seen it. There should be,

there should be some dog shit. There's, there's a ton of dog shit video out there that's like, you know, three views, 2009. No one's – we've given you 12, 13 years. Let's get rid of anything with that algorithm. That would be good.

That would be good if YouTube were like, yeah, look, we want to free up some bandwidth. You now have to – like your video is up for elimination. You have to put your case to us. We're going to push your video in the pool. It's an ugly video. Yeah. But then they just have a contest where it's like people log on

and vote on which video should be allowed to stay on YouTube. Who? You know, things get voted out. That would be great. Same thing as Man Oh Man. Would you jerk off over this video? Would you fuck this video? Yes?

Okay. Well, it stays in. If you don't want to fuck this video, if you don't want to fuck Charlie Bit My Finger, well, it's gone. Is this a hunky video? It's gone.

Yeah. David after the dentist, not horny at all, in the YouTube pool. Yeah. By the way, look, we haven't said this,

but if you haven't figured it out, we are doing this on Zoom. I don't know if we mentioned, but Tommy has got a little virus that I shouldn't be in the same room as. We very nearly were in the same room together. Yep. We were half an hour off it happening. We were going to do a bonus Patreon episode,

and I'd even said to you, would you do me a big favour, please, and go and get my favourite cookies that live in a shop just near my house. You'd gone to get them, and then said, I've got them. I was like, great. The bad news is you're not having them because I've got the coronavirus. So have you eaten them? No, I don't like sweet things, and my girlfriend can't eat gluten stuff,

so they're going to go in the bin. Fuck you, bitch. God damn. Fucking hell. No, I don't like sweet things, and my girlfriend can't eat gluten stuff, so they're going to go in the bin. Fuck you, bitch. God damn. Fucking hell. Yeah. That's the worst news I've heard all day. Yeah, man, they are some good cookies.

I've talked about this on the show, I think. Are you talking, Dom Dom? I guess I've talked about this. Just near your house, there's a shop that's got these great cookies, and they're my number one cookies at the moment and because i've talked about them um i was walking to your house a couple weeks ago to uh to record one of these and someone's driven past me and immediately texted me and gone because because the shop's near your house someone's texted me as they're driving and gone, you're going to get those fucking cookies, aren't you? And I'm like, yep.

Yeah, you got me. Yep. There it is. Oh, fuck. Yeah, maybe, I mean, maybe I'll have a little nibble for dessert. Are they only good when they're like fresh out the oven or are they good all day? Ah, you want the freshies.

These are the type. These are like the French fries, the McDonald's French fries of cookies. You don't want to let them go too long. Subway cookies, yeah. Have you lost the taste? Have you eaten anything? Yeah, I had lunch and yeah, I could still taste it. A friend of mine has COVID at the moment.

He said he lost his smell on like day four or five or something like that. So I think for a while it was like a thing where people thought that was like a pretty immediate symptom. And maybe it was in earlier strains. But I haven't really heard too many people getting the loss of taste as the early indicator anymore. I think those days are over. the loss of taste as the early indicator anymore. I think those days are over, which is annoying because that's such a handy early symptom to have before you get the cold and before you're out too long,

exposing people to it. Yeah, totally. But I mean, it is great. You put it out and then you just have an afternoon of people calling you like, oh no, oh no, I'd have it now. Like, oh, like I saw you and yeah i'd better do a test i'm like i saw you a week and a half ago like i haven't like i got sick i started

feeling sick last night like i've definitely got it since seeing you like yeah yeah yeah um well all right well look you as you said you'd rather be in bed than doing this. So thanks for staying up like a trooper, and let's just do one more. Let's just do one more, and let's get out here this week because, like I said, well, we can't do any more, to be honest. Like I said, the computer's got the virus. So we've only spat out three of them. Coughing and sputtering its way to whatever number name this is. Yeah, and as we've just listened to for the last 30 minutes or so,

it's, it's, it's made us lose our comedy taste as well. So I better get off this thing before I get crook. All right. One more, one more. Thank you very much to patron subscribe.

Oh, okay. Oh, all right. All right. I didn't think this was a thing, but okay. This is obviously part of what's happening. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Novel Comedy Virus.

Huh. The Novel Comedy Virus. That's what it said. It's obviously infiltrated itself in. What are the symptoms uh um um um diarrhea yeah of diarrhea yeah yeah oral diarrhea there you go all right well thanks novel and thanks everyone who supports the show patreon.com slash little dum-umbClub if you would like to sign up. LittleDumbDumbClub.com for all the tickets that we have on sale at the moment.

Thanks very much for listening. Of course, Tommy, the Melbourne shows are still on sale for Melbourne, what is it, April 16, 23, 24. Of course, Tasmania, we are coming down there on April 30. So that's Saturday afternoon. So make sure you guys all get your shit together. We need plenty of people in there to make it worth our while and to make sure that we come back again. So Tasmania Hobart, get your shit together.

Get on the website and get a ticket. Thanks for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mate. Bye. See you, mate.