The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 505 - Craig Reucassel & Chas Licciardello

Episode Date: June 3, 2020

Uh-oh, looks like we're in for an hour of Classic Pranks as we welcome CRAIG REUCASSEL and CHAS LICCIARDELLO onto the show! Craig is chuffed to finally be appearing on the show after being a listener for years, so he has a tonne of questions for us including clarification on Karl's poo jogging, and what Tommy's really getting up to at F45. Plus, we pitch some new ice cream flavours, get an update on Tommy's dads memoir and get one step closer to working out the exact address of The Wog Boy! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on The Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with guests Craig Rewcastle and Chas Lichardello. Head to littledumbdumbclub.com, you can get some brand spanking new merch that we have on sale, some hoodies, some t-shirts, we have our live show coming up on November the 7th. What else is there to plug before this? I reckon that's about it, Tommy. Start the ep. Yeah, get ready, a guest we've had on before and a first-time guest, of course, both from the legendary Australian comedy group The Chaser.

Yeah, so enjoy this episode, Chaz Lichardello and Craig Rewcastle. Hey, mates. Welcome into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo. With me, as always, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day, dickhead. We've got two very special guests today joining us down the line

after a 40-minute technical difficulty section. Please welcome in Chas Licciardello and Craig Rewcastle. I like to think of it as a technical opportunity session. Is that going to be one of the Patreon episodes, the 40 minutes of setting up the mic? Also, Tommy, here's a bit of a – here's a rule in comedy. When you try and make something funny, you're supposed to exaggerate. I reckon you've pulled that back by 10 minutes.

I reckon that was a 50-minute text at the start of the episode. Yeah, if I rounded it up too much, no one would believe that it ever took that long. Even 40 minutes felt like it... I definitely could feel people listening to that going, there's no way it took that long. I've got to say, I mean, looking at you two, fuck, you both look extremely old,

so it did take a long time. Come on, mate. that's a bit rich from someone who couldn't work out how to work the settings on zoom even with a significantly younger person in the room doing all the tech producing yeah like this is the good thing you see we've spent most of our careers of doing this podcast being shitty like i wish we could like get into working in radio so that things would be a little bit easier. This is proof that it doesn't necessarily have to be easier even if you do get those opportunities. The dad energy was very strong.

I thought you guys had it all set up perfectly and this is just another classic chaser prank that you're pulling on us. We got you, fellas. We got you. You did get us. We've all wasted an hour of our lives. We got you, fellas. We got you. You did get us. We've all wasted an hour of our lives. You got us, guys. You still got it.

You still got it. Friday night. Thank God we can't go out or I'd be fucking seething at being delayed from the pub for this. It's alright. It's going to be the same result for you, Tommy. At the end of the night, you will have just been talking to a bunch of blokes and not get any sex. Oh, wow.

You called that early. I have a big finale coming. What are you talking about? Thanks, Dave. We've been chasing the two of you for a while, so thank you for finally fitting us in. Thank you, both the guys from The Chaser, the official, the Wu-Tang Clan of comedy,

The Chaser. That is, there's so many members that we don't really know all of them. And whenever there's a live show out, we don't know which ones we're getting and which ones are just hangers-on. I don't even know who they are. Which ones are fucking just nobodies. I'm actually starting to think

that The Chaser live shows are just the Australian census. They're just getting another 20 people on stage every single night, just 20 randoms. You know, the reason that works, though, is that the reason it works is that people turn up and go, oh, no, it's not, you know, it's not Chas and the guys from the War on Everything. And then they watch it and they go, oh, they were much better

than it would have been if it was the guys from the War on Everything. So that's why there's not as many complaints. I was on an episode of the Chasers Media Circus. Am I in the Chaser now? Like, can I be one of the hangers? Can we plug this as the Chaser podcast now? Can we do that? You're the CEO, I think.

I don't know if you're in the Chaser car, but I'm willing to give you full responsibility for the Chasers Media Circus if you'd like to take it. full responsibility for the Chasers Media Circus if you'd like to take it. Host, creator, head producer, brain trust. So we've got out of the Wu-Tang clans of comedy in Australia, so that's

you guys are Chas Face Killer and Old Dirty Rue Castle. Thank you. I like the names. Good. That's the written material I thought of on Punt Road on the way here. Carl's furiously been scribbling away for the entire 40 minutes of the tech difficulties. There you go.

It was worth the tech difficulties then. Thank you. Thank you. So can I ask you a question just so I understand where this comes within the canon of Dumb Dumb Club? Is this the first episode after the Thornton Blake episode? Yes. Okay.

Okay, good. So we're at a low point of the thing. So I want to ask a question then because, Carl, are you still married? Yes. Okay, wow. I am, yeah, I am. Oh, man, are you still married? Yes. Okay, wow. I am, yeah, I am. Oh, man, I lose a lot of money on that bet. The episode has not been leaked back to my wife yet.

That is extraordinary. Every time I've talked to her since, she hasn't raised any questions this week yet. So no one's leaked any of the content of the episode back to me. Leaked is not the word I'd be using after that story. Chas isn't here. Chas, I've heard this one. He hasn't heard it. I just...

Hang on, hang on, hang on, Chas. Last week, last week on Dum Dum. Yeah, exactly. Let's just say that, well, Carl has become the poo jogger on multiple occasions. Not the poo jogger, a poo jogger. A poo jogger on multiple occasions. Not the poo jogger, a poo jogger. A poo jogger on multiple occasions. He runs at night and shits in different bushes around Melbourne.

For some unknown reason, this hasn't stopped him running. Like, I reckon one, how many shits into being a poo jogger till you stop running? Like, I stopped running in isolation very early on without ever shitting in public. You just, like, at no point do you seem to have countenance as you give up jogging. No.

That's a pretty defeatist attitude. I wouldn't say it's caused to stop jogging. I'd say it's caused to re-evaluate the diet, change the time that you jog. I don't think jogging's the problem. Yeah, exactly. I think it's like a raft of other factors. The way that I'm doing it,

that's two very effective ways of losing weight, the way I'm doing it. So I'm going to continue doing it that way. I would have thought this is the perfect time to be pooing in bushes when there's social distancing happening. There's no one near him when he's pooing in a bush. Exactly.

In fact, it's keeping them away. You, sir, are community service. Yeah. Except for the fact that coronavirus can be passed through stools. And right now, around Melbourne, it's just a thousand chandler stools. You leave your house in the morning, you've got to step over a fucking stool. Hey, there's no one on the road or anything at the moment. I'm being polite by doing it in bushes.

I could be doing it on the white line in Punt Road and I could be getting away with it. So I'm being polite. I like the idea that corona potentially wipes out everyone in Australia or just save for a few scientists that then have to kind of recreate civilization using whatever DNA samples they can get their hand on. And then 20 years in the future, we're just looking down the barrel of a civilization that just, all of them just look like Carl Chandler. Old Carl Chandler's, young Carl Chandler's, little baby girl Carl

Chandler's. And it's like every country is like, every country is fine except Thailand is heavily populated. And the front pages are, you know, if somebody gets caught out in a social media, like the most embarrassing thing is you get caught on the front page of the Herald Sun for being a toilet jogger, a toilet pooer. Like you actually get caught out for shitting in a toilet. Everyone else just does it on the streets as they jog. Oh, God.

Well, I could see the logic of that. You know, they run it on the front page and like, can you believe someone shit in their own house? That's where you do everything else. Why would you shit inside? That's true. That's true. Guys, there's only one part.

Actually, amazingly, having listened to that whole story, there was only one part that really disturbed me the most about you. And that's extraordinary because, Chas, you should listen back to this story. Oh, I will. I'm definitely going to now. Don't relive it for the public. But the bit that I found the most amusing was that you seriously considered when you got home stripping off your shit-filled pants

in the bottom car park of your apartment and then walking back to your apartment with no pants covered in shit. And you thought that that was a possible option. No, I kind of meant the shorts, not the underwear. I could still wear the shorts. Oh, okay. I could just throw out the underwear. That's what I meant. I could still wear the shorts. I could just throw on the underwear. That's what I meant.

I'm envisaging you just sneaking back out of your apartment with no pants on. I'm actually envisaging you kind of nude, covered in shit, sneaking back up to your apartment going, this is the perfect crime. I'm feeling like Craig has spent a very large amount of time visualising you shitting, Carl. He seems to have dominated his last week. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, this is how things change. Like Chaz has obviously fallen off the wagon of listening to the show. He used to listen to the show. I used to be able to talk to you about the show. But obviously now tables have turned and you don't listen anymore. And now Craig listens. And that's the funny thing because you you you got me onto your show media circus uh valet um and and i remember coming in and and uh off the back of this obviously you got me in and then i came in and i was i was getting

changed in wardrobe or whatever and i was talking to craig for the first time and he he obviously was like who the fuck's this cunt chances just vouch for him off the back of some shitty podcast and i'm like and i've i've got like a like a change of wardrobe you know for like whatever works on tv and i i actually brought in our own merch i brought in the aware of the little dumb club shirt so that i could wear it on tv since we force everyone else into wearing that sort of stuff so i thought i'll wear it myself and i wore i i showed it to you craig and i go what do you what do you think i can wear this and you just looked at me with, like, disgust and horror and just went, nah, do not wear that.

See, that was before Craig was into recycling. Yeah. Ah, yeah. I think the timeline's wrong, though. I definitely listened to the podcast by then. Although then, no, maybe you're right. Maybe not, because then why would I have said yes to you coming on? Yeah.

You're right, though. I have fallen off the wagon because, unfortunately, I've basically spent my entire life at the moment reading news because with the Planet America that I do, I've just got to keep up with the news with Trump. And the fact is he just creates so much fucking news. I just spent my entire life not sleeping. Oh, shit, another fucking tweet.

Ah, shit. You're like too similar to that other guy I've been keeping up on. You're like, I can't follow too many fuckheads at once. I need to concentrate on the one fuckhead. How come nobody else that reports on Trump has to stay up all night reading every blog, Chas? I think it's more

about you. Maybe. Chas is like, I can't go on air until I read all of the blogs. Every one. Luckily, there aren't many blogs in the world about American politics. You guys are like that with Dum Dum, aren't you? You can't do a Dum Dum until you've read all the blogs,

all the comedy blogs. Man, I looked up the Wu-Tang Clan Wikipedia page so I could make those jokes up before on the way here. So that's the research I did. I've always listened to this show and thought, you know, the one thing about this show is it's really well-researched. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dara, we have a lot of interns that work for us around the clock. Yeah, so it's gone from Chas being the listener into Craig is the listener, into Craig is the Patreon subscriber under the name Craig Poo Castle. He's been chipping in $2 a month for a couple of years.

We have $40 Poo Castle dollars. Isn't it like, I think it's like $1.95 because I only did it. I remember the reason I did it was because I got so annoyed at you two because you were talking about putting up the Patreon, right?

You're like, you know, you have all this kind of exclusive content and you were debating about what level to sell it off at. And it was like, I think it was two bucks. It was literally you had to give more than two bucks. I was just, I remember abusing you on Twitter, just being like, at least fucking value yourself enough to charge $5 for people to listen to it. So I think my Patreon is $1.95.

Whatever it is, it was exactly what was exactly under getting any more content from you guys. Just missing out. No, I do remember exactly what your complaint was. We were reading out people's names on Talking Dum Dum if they contributed $2. And you're like, $2? You're reading people's name out for $2? You fucking idiots. And we literally changed it after that.

We literally changed it after that. We call it the Poo Castle rule. Yeah, yeah. I think it was because it was, I don't know why, I don't know why, I presume everyone just scrubbed through that period anyway, but it was when you used to start the show by reading out 50 fucking names for hours on end.

It's amazing that you've recovered from that period. I know. But the peak of the show, I reckon. Once we walked back from doing a very deliberately annoying and a thing that made the show a chore to listen to, it's never been as good, in my opinion. We really sold out that day. I mean, we started thinking,

oh, that's why they have those long credit sequences at the end of movies instead of at the start. Oh, okay, this is starting to make sense now. No, but you know, some movies, the real auteurs, they put like 10 minutes of credits at the start. That's kind of what I... That's what I thought we were really going for. Yeah, I reckon George Lucas probably,

the early Star Wars, had all of the actors at the beginning and then that set up just at the end. No, the scrolling text at the start of it, that goes for fucking ages. That's his equivalent of just having Johnny Fuckknuckle chipped in 10 bucks

to make Star Wars scrolling up the screen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. While we're talking about podcasts, can I ask you a question because i'm intrigued right i can't figure out whether you're a plagiarist or not it just have you ever heard of my dad wrote a porno the podcast right no yeah i know i know i've heard of it you're aware yeah yeah yeah so you're referring to the fact that for anyone uh new listening because we haven't

talked about this for a little while um it was a long-running thread on the show that i had discovered that my dad in his spare time was writing kind of bootleg pornographic material and we were getting our friend nick caapper to read these excerpts out. I thought you forced him to do it. Was he doing it before? You didn't make him do it. Yeah, we made him do it. That's how we got around it,

because we called it My Friend's Dad Wrote a Porno. Ah, no, because now you're getting your dad to write a book as well. It's like every step of the way, you're trying to copy my dad write a porno except in the having funny friends part of it yes well the thing with the thing with dad so yeah with dad's pornos he was kind of working on them and then i have now there came a point where now the ones that we've been reading out on the show, he has been writing for us, for the show. And so there was a period a couple of months ago where Carl discovered that dad has been

working on a memoir for going on 20 years now, at least. So he now, he's been trying to write chapters of it. And that is very much something that I've been kind of pushing him to, to send me and get into so that we could talk about it on the show. And I actually do have, I have a chapter ready to go. If you guys would like to hear a bit of it. I would,

man, I would hate that. At this point, by the end and just point out that,, have you noticed that literally every single punchline Craig ends with is, and you're shit? Because that's what the chaser was like for 10 years, which is why we don't make the chaser anymore. Just so you know. That's also why we thought he'd be good on this.

Yeah, I was going to say If there's any podcast in the world Where that's acceptable It's Dumb Dumb Club To be fair It didn't go down well When you do Fran in the mornings On Radio National

You're shit Yeah Back in the day on Rove Like no thanks Rove Doesn't sound like my cup of tea I'd rather not I'd rather not answer this question about who I'd turned gay for. If it's all the same, I'm going to have to plead the fifth on this one.

Say hello to your shithouse mum for me. Fuck off to your mum for me, Rove. Well, because that's the thing, Craig, your instincts are correct. Like, I've gotten chapters back from Dad and they're not, I mean, there's a lot of work to be done. There is a lot of work to be done on these chapters, and I've edited one down, but I don't know. Because this is my idea.

This is what I was thinking. You guys, Chaser, you've published books. You've got a lot of clout. Dad's sent me these chapters, and he kind of wants feedback. So I'm thinking if we do this on the show, we can kind of workshop this and then I can give him some notes from actual industry professionals that might help the writing of the book. I feel like your dad can tour with the chaser. No one would know the difference.

He can show up with the other randoms. I don't remember this 70-something-year-old man being on the wall on everything back in the day. Oh, that's Jules. You guys are like the Platters or whoever, you know, those old-school bands that have just got one original member and then just like a bunch of white guys

that are like 16 that are in the band. You're like, what the fuck is going on here? I was going to say, I wonder what you guys at the Chaser was up to. In isolation, were you doing like a classic prank show where you were just like fucking tricking your cats or anything like that? I like the way that you still think we do prank shows when Chas and I both essentially do serious shows. Now, you've got to understand this car.

It's like this car. Basically, we occasionally do serious shows. Now, you've got to understand this, Carl. It's like this, Carl. Basically, you know, we occasionally do funny things. Not that often. But then a lot of the time we do unfunny things. It's a bit like how you do this podcast that's sometimes funny. But then you have your stand-up career to do unfunny things. Nice. There we go.

There we go. Who says the pranks are done? Because he's got a great one there. I could see that shit coming out of your ass a mile away. I was like, that jogger is slowing down. He's about to hang out a big old number two. I can see what's about to happen here. Tommy, though, did you say you'd edited your dad's

Isn't it cheating to edit it Before you read it anyway Isn't it the kind of joy of Reading your dad's work No I've trimmed it for brevity We've done this before And it's been read out on shows

And it's taken an hour It's like water torture Look if you want to do it if you want to do it in this episode just be on standby that when in every other episode when you've almost read one of your dad's chapter books i've gone fuck thank god they just avoided that so just i'm just putting you on notice that I come into it as probably the greatest sceptic of reading your dad's memoir out. I feel like this needs to be an episode where we're punchy or Craig's going to walk out.

I think this is the worst possible time to bring this up. I may look back and regret that. That may be the best part. This may go on to be the greatest part of the show. Well, what is it? What are we doing? What are we doing? Well, let's put it on ice.

Let's see how we fit. You know what? Read two barragas. Read two barragas and let's see if Craig's right. I've got a feeling Craig's going to be extremely right, but let's see. I'll give you the intro. I'll give you the intro. See what you think of this.

See what you think of this. Okay. Okay. So this chapter is called Blue Hawaii. Before commencement Of our fourth year Of a Bachelor of Architecture degree We were required to have

Completed 12 months experience In an architectural practice Anywhere in the world Every porn starts like that This is not a porn You don't understand This is him not writing the porn He's finished writing the porn

He's writing a memoir Sorry okay Go on go on No You were wrong there This is him not writing the porn. He's finished writing the porn. He's writing a memoir. Sorry, go on, go on. You were wrong there. This is our attempt to make it less interesting. It was boring enough when he was writing pornos. This doesn't even have any root in it. To be fair, there were a lot of times when you were reading out the porn stuff,

I was kind of going, I don't know. I just need to know more about the structure of an architectural degree. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I chose Hawaii know. I just need to know more about the structure of an architectural degree. Yeah, yeah. Okay. I chose Hawaii as I had been on a family holiday there about three years before. I was aware of the fact that I was a very unworldly, timid young man living in a very secure and protected environment. I decided I should push these boundaries. I suggested this to Dad and Mum, and to my surprise, they encouraged me.

Of course, they knew what I secretly knew about myself. Now, what do we i think you know you know the problem i reckon he's he's too good a writer he's too good a writer and i mean that seriously like the joy of the whole dad wrote porno was that he can't string a single sentence together that's kind of what made that work can you tell your dad to be a shitter writer? Okay. Okay. So do you, I think maybe that's like, because it's the same writing ability. I think it's just like when he's writing the pornos, the blood has gone to somewhere else. So he's, you know, he's less able to use his, you know, kind of functions to properly string a sentence together.

Oh no, it's almost like we've found a flaw in a guy who can't write greatly and nothing really happened to him. Yes. And then he wrote it down and then we read it out. We've found the flaw that maybe that's not the perfect way. I've known this about him my whole life. You're the one that found this out about him and then was like, you've got to read this out on the show.

I've known this my entire life. I'm like, you very like, you've got to read this out on the show. I've known this for my entire life. I'm like, you very much don't want me to read this out on the show. It's going to be boring. I thought you would edit it. I thought you would punch it up. It's not going to start with me. All right, I'm going to work on it. I'm going to work on it.

I'm going to remake my dad's. I'll work on this for the future based on the feedback. It's the little bits you've heard. It's too boring. I'm going to go away and I'm going to remake my dad's. I'll work on this for the future based on the feedback. The little bits you've heard, it's too boring. I'm going to go away and I'm going to completely retool it. I'm going to get the bare bones from him and I'm going to rewrite it how I think it should be. You need to ghostwrite this. You need to ghostwrite it.

I'll get the broad strokes from him. I think, no, you've got to get somebody even worse. Anyway, we'll see. I look forward to seeing him. He said he's going ghost ride. Oh, sorry. You're following your advice, right? Oh, now it's catching. Now Chaz is a cunt.

Oh, fucking hell. I'm learning. While we're talking about Tommy, I have to thank you. Well, I have to kind of thank you, Tommy, but also then blame you for something. So seriously, I – when was it? This is fascinating, by the way.

This is fascinating. We don't usually get fans of the show on the show. So I think this is for us. Yeah, yeah. No. So I joined F45 because of Tommy. Okay. Yeah.

Oh, wow. Okay. Wow. And when are you doing your first class? Well, this is it. This is it. You fucker. So I joined and did months of this fucking hell.

What's that thing? Burpees and shit, all this crap. And then coronavirus comes and now I'm fatter than ever and I just wasted all that money thanks to you, you fucking idiot. It was all part of my master plan. You know what? That guy that's into recycling, I'm going to make him fat. And I thought this is interesting, you telling a story about joining F45

when the very first vision we saw this evening when we plugged you guys in was you sticking a fucking fistful of chips in your mouth. This has worked out well in the end. Is that not part of it? Well, to be fair, though, F45 doesn't exactly come up the way that Tommy talked about it because his only way of talking about it, the only stories he ever told about it was going out to parties and having cocaine with everyone there.

And I've got to say that hasn't really – that's not in every part of the franchise tell me i've just got to say okay yeah yeah well you know you've got to be the change you want to see in the world it's like you want more people to recycle you're getting out there and you're you're doing you're doing the work yourself he was he was doing a lot a lot of reps of them so that was it was technically still working out. It was a similar approach to the War on Waste. You shame people into recycling. I was just like, fucking hell.

If Tommy's doing F45, what excuse can you come up with for not doing it? How hard can it be? I'm excited. I got two emails from them this morning about them reopening in three weeks' time. It's very exciting. One of the last interactions I had at the gym before it closed down was there was this British trainer at mine.

And you know how like so every day like the classes all have different names. And there was this one particular one that I really hated. And at the start of the class this british guy had said this is the last day of this class and so we're halfway through it and he comes over to check on me as i'm doing some really brutal thing and he goes how are you going over here and i go yeah this is so brutal i'm like this is the last day right and he goes yeah and i go yeah great good fucking riddance and then he goes oh okay and And I go, yeah, great. Good fucking riddance. And then he goes, oh, okay. And then walks off.

And then I just have this flashback of this vague memory of him saying at the start of the class, this is my last day here. And then I realize, oh, he's thought I've asked him, is this your last day? And then gone, good fucking riddance. So then for the rest of the class, I'm like trying to do the exercises, but also trying to like get over to him to go, hey, sorry, did you say before that this is your last day? And he goes, yeah, yeah, that's what I said. I'm like, so I thought you said it's the class's last day. That's why I said good fucking riddance

because I hate the class. And he's like, oh yeah, I knew that. I thought you were kidding. It's fine. I'm like, bitch, it wasn't fine. You were fucking, you were crying. You were getting a little ab exercise there, doing your little tears. So just excited for it to reopen to be able to get back into wonderfully disturbing interactions like that.

This workout sounds too emotional for me. Exactly. Well, what about, what about Chase? I always love talking to you because I want to hear about what's new in terms of dodgy Asian snack food. What's absolute dog shit are you piling into yourself these days? I'm a bit low on the dodgy Asian snack food, but I can tell you what's new in snacks full stop because this is very exciting. Don't tell me it's candied bat wings, by the way. Did you start all this?

I would eat them if they were on sale, I would totally eat a candy bat. I happened upon in the convenience store the other day, get this, these are new times. These are new times in both the society and candy. Bubble O' Jill. We're talking the female Bubble O'Bill. And it's like a Bubble O'Bill except that she has lovely caramel

hair. I'm a little bit in love with Bubble O'Jill I have to say. There's no wooden stick, there's just some big old flaps hanging down that you've got to put that crap onto. Is that what's happening? Is there still the bullet hole through the hat? No.

No, no, no. Oh, no. No, can you imagine the outrage if that was the case? It's pretty exciting. And the other thing which I'm here to tell you about, because this is why I'm here, also oak. Do you have oak in Melbourne? Because the milk tends to be state-based.

I don't know why the cows don't travel into state, but oak now comes out in pineapple flavour as well. Oh, gross. But not just any pineapple. We're talking like candy pineapple. That's the best kind of pineapple. Is it possible to get... That's good news.

That's good news for people in high viz that are coming home wanting to be sucked off by their partners at night, just going, well, I drank the pineapple milk. This is going to taste good, love. This is going to be fine. Fucking hell. Yeah. Before we keep going on this snack food chat,

can we possibly get Tommy's dad to do just a draft of it as well? What about, Craig, what about, tell us about Chaz's, you would have picked up a lot of his dietary history because I like hearing what Chaz tells us about what he eats, but I feel like you've got a lot more in you about what Chaz eats that Chaz wouldn't admit to us or doesn't find funny himself. No, Chas will admit it to you. So Chas has the most extraordinary diet.

And it's changed now. It's a bit disappointing now. But when we met Chas, he was constantly on a diet. Like he's constantly trying to lose weight. But he would do that by only eating. He hadn't learned about the existence of supermarkets yet because he was only about 28. Right.

So he would... This is sadly true. He would only eat from convenience stores and fast food joints, but he would construct them in a way. So he would basically eat all the low-fat things from convenience stores and he would go to them, get the burgers, and get them to take off the things he thought were unhealthy. And so he'd try and have a healthy burger.

And that was his basic health food thing. And we once made the mistake. This is great. We once went, oh, man, Chez just knows so much about this stuff. Like he knows everything. He's incredible. Like his knowledge of this and kind of what has the calories and everything, it's unbelievable.

What do you take out of a burger to make it healthy, by the way? Well, you saw me having a Zinger burger before. I took the lettuce out. So, yeah, just get rid of all that shit. That's fair, though. The kind of lettuce they use in those burgers is probably worse for you than anything else in there. Yeah, it's not good for you.

Did you ask them to deep fry the lettuce so you could take it out? We once decided when we went to the checkout, we went, well, it may be really interesting to tell people this kind of information to get this information out of Chas. So we said, Chas, you should write a script to describe all this stuff, right? It was a great script, Craig. It was an extraordinary thing. So it was just like we got it.

It was an extraordinary thing. So it was just like we got it. It was really long. We all sat down, you know, a table read. And we read through this thing. And at the end of it, it was just like you'd seen a part of the Matrix that no one could see. And everyone just looked disturbed. Everyone was disturbed and they were like, no one can ever hear any of this stuff.

This can never be told to anyone again. No one can look inside Chaz's head. It was. It was a very long silence, I must admit. It was just a shock, Chaz. It was like the comprehension that you existed and did all of the things you did in the world whilst also in the background computing that much about everything you ate. You fucked with your head.

In all seriousness, can I tell you what my latest weird healthy junk food thing is? Crumpets. Have you ever seen the calories and fat and everything on crumpets? They've got nothing in them. So I'm having like 12 crumpets a day at the moment. Perfect. What could go wrong?

He only looks at one metric on the thing. So we once looked at this thing, like this snack food he got from the convenience store that he was eating constantly, like some kind of chip thing. And we're going, isn't that unhealthy, Chas? He's going, no, no, no, look at it, look at it. It's got no calories, whatever. And we looked at it.

It had like 1,000 milligrams of salt in it. Like He's going, no, no, no, look at it, look at it. It's got no calories, whatever. And we looked at it. It had like, you know, a thousand milligrams of salt in it. Like he's going to die any minute. He doesn't sleep at all and he eats salt-based snacks constantly. It's a miracle he's made to this age. I can't dispute that. He's telling the truth. But you look good. You look really good.

What's going on? Well, that's just because I'm Santa Craig. You look good. You look really good. What's going on? That's just because I'm Santa Craig. I had Ben and Jerry's last night for the first time in my life, and fuck me, I loved it so much.

What flavour? I just need to jack off here. What flavour is it? The Tonight Dough. The Jimmy Fallon flavour with chocolate cookie dough and peanut cookie dough. Chas, what's the healthiest Ben & Jerry's flavour? Yeah, look. You've got the wrong expert here.

You've got the wrong Chaser member on for this. You need Andrew Hanson on for this because Andrew Hanson and Charles travelled to America years ago, well before Ben & Jerry's, and they travelled together, right? And Ben & Jerry's wasn't a thing in Australia at the time. They became so obsessed by it that they changed their holiday plan. They would just go around to different Ben and Jerry's places and go to the factories. They came back and it was fucking amazing. They must've been there for two weeks or so. They were enormous. They put on this stack of work. And then after that, Andrew Hanson wrote to Ben and Jerry's for years afterwards, pestering them to come to Australia.

He would write like every few weeks. Yeah, and they've never come to Australia. I wonder why. The amazing thing about that is Andrew has irritable bowel syndrome as well. So he didn't give a shit. He was just in constant pain, just stuffing more and more ice cream. Yeah. Yeah.

I admire him. What would the Chaser Ben and Jerry's flavor be? Because they're always like puns, but they're pretty clunky. So like the one I had last night was the Tonight Dough with Jimmy Fallon. There's a Cherry Garcia named after Jerry Garcia, the guitarist in The Grateful Dead. You could have like a Chaz Licher Marshmallow. Oh, nice.

Because it's got to be shit. It's got to be kind of not quite work. I don't know what it would be called, but I do know this, that it would basically just be some variety of chocolate and peanut because that's the secret of ben and jerry's every literally every single flavor is a combination of chocolate and peanut with a different adjective like that's it they don't actually make different different ice creams they just make different adjectives to describe their

ice cream isn't that every chocolate bar every chocolate bar in America? Is that? Because I remember you see all those bars on TV and you go, oh, wow, Babe Ruth or Five, whatever it is, and you go over there and you go, I'll have one of each of them, and then it's like they're all the same bar. It's chocolate peanuts. That's all it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Julian Marsh Morrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It took exactly five minutes and it was on the exact same thing that you said. To get the same flavour. Each chaser member gets their own flavour and they're all marshmallow based. You didn't lay out those rules initially. This is why Craig doesn't work in comedy and why he works in hemp.

The chasers war against things that don, he works in hemp. The chasers war against things that don't have marshmallow in it. But yeah, those big punnets that you can get that are $14 at 7-Eleven where it's meant to be like four serves, I took down half of it without even thinking and was just like, this is a dangerous precedent. You know, it's like in movies and stuff, the cliche of someone going through a breakup and sitting on a couch and eating an entire thing of Ben and Jerry's.

Like I totally understood it. I could see myself ripping into one of them, no questions asked. The Chase's Ben and Jerry flavor. Wow, this tastes a lot like that Batuta Advocate flavor that they've got out as well. Wondered how you were going to wedge that in. Were you doing the F45 while you were eating the ice cream? Not exactly the same

time. I haven't been. They've been doing online classes, which I haven't done any of them. I found that too hard to imagine myself doing. Being on Zoom and doing a burpee while a trainer yells at me in a tiny window

not for me i don't really i don't want to do it you cannot it's like it's like the opposite of a public toilet you can only do it when someone else is watching yes in the same room exactly yeah yeah i want you to choose you should take up a normal isolation like exercise like running around the neighborhood and shitting in people's yards. Exactly, exactly. I'm going to go home after this and then basically come straight back here running-wise. So all I'm doing now is I'm treating myself like I'm my own daughter. Before I leave home for a run, I sit there and I say to myself,

do you need to go to the toilet? And I sit there and I say to myself, do you need to go to the toilet? And I sit there and have a good think and then I make the call and then I go for a run. So you are scared about it because this is the thing that slightly frightened me as well is that I don't think you expressed enough fear in your voice at the concept of being like, I remember when the poo jogger initially happened and they got the photo and they put the photo of the person on the papers and that i just thought that was the most extraordinary bit of ritual humiliation and yet you not only didn't seem

scared about it you went on a podcast and told the story having having not told your wife that either i'll be completely honest after that whole story then we put it up and then all the people online linked me to the poo jogger and I was like, oh yeah, it is like that. I completely did not link the two together.

What the fuck? Yeah. I was like, I was like, I was like, I didn't think of what I was doing as poo as more shit

and then I didn't think I was jogging, I was running. So that's why. I'm not a poo jogger, I'm a shit runner. We all want to think of ourselves as these beautiful, unique creatures. You don't want to be shitting in public and thinking, God, this is a bit derivative. Yeah, exactly. I like hanging a big burry in a bush and someone walks by and goes,

hack. You're going, no, this is different. This is a bush. They did it on a driveway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He fled from it. I'm going to talk about it. I'm going to publicise the fact that I've done it.

I'm not ashamed. Yeah, I'm front foot. I'm front footing it. You should be very careful, though, because didn't you, Neal, didn't you do that shit right near Nick Gianopoulos' place? And he's probably trademarked doing a giant shit in public as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Man, you've got to keep it down. He's literally within, like, 50 metres of us right now. Like, someone messaged us the other day and said he owns the flat that's, like, right near here. Oh, okay, right, right. He's in his penthouse apartment like 30 metres from where we're recording right now. So this is someone that knows exactly which apartment it is? Put it this way, yes.

This person messaged us and I read the message, our listener, and went, oh, yeah, and doesn't know where you live. Gave the exact address of where he lives and what floor. And like she basically said, I met him out one night. He lives at blah, blah, blah. And it's like, oh, you've rooted Nick Gianopolis. Fuck yes. Incredible.

I was thinking you made the wog boy into a wog man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn. It's the one occasion where he allows you to use the word wog girl. Yeah. Yeah. What do you think, guys? Should we try and get him on the word wog girl. Yeah. Yeah. What do you think, guys? Should we try and get him on the show?

You guys both listen to this. Is that what people want to hear? I'm excited. Can't you do like – The Geopolis on the little dum-dum club? I was speaking to friends in New York who were like, you know they've done this clapping on the balcony for the health workers, right? And so they've kind of made friends with these old people who are like across the way

because they've been clapping. They've kind of made friends with these old people who are like across the way because they've been clapping. They've kind of met each night. You could just go to your balcony and you could, you know, clap or get Nick Gianopoulos out, do the podcast balcony to balcony. This is exciting. I want to see that happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know.

Like I like the idea. I like the idea much more of listening to a podcast with him on it. I don't like the idea of me being in the same room and talking to him. That's a good point. That's a good point. Well, then maybe I meet him in the street and I don't say that I do a podcast and that I'd love to have him on. I say a friend of mine does a podcast.

Oh, my dad. My dad has a son who has a podcast. No, I sent dad in with the recording gear. Dad interviews Nick Gianopoulos. Then we get to listen to that and play that back on this show. So that way we get the best of both worlds. You get to hear it happen. You don't have to have been in the same room.

I feel like my skill is I can punch down well. I'll get some idiot open mic on here and hang shit on him and say he's fat or he smells. But if I get someone like that on, I really think Nick Giannopoulos will fucking destroy me and go through me like a dog. Well, he'll go through me. I'll be shitting inside here instead of in a bush. That's where I'll be. I'm scared of him.

I'm scared of Nick Giannopoulos. You're scared? Wow. I feel insulted now that you're not scared of anyone else you've had on this podcast. But Nick Giannopoulos is the one. He's your great white wall. I'm just too scared.

I am excited for you guys to get Nick Giannopoulos is the one. He's your great white whale. I'm just too scared. I am excited for you guys to get Nick Giannopoulos on though because I want to say if it takes him longer to set up his Zoom and then talk ass. Sure. Sure, this 65-year-old wog dude. He would take longer. Sure. Nick, this microphone appears to be made out of concrete.

I think that might be why it's not working. I'll get my mum to come in and look at it. That's you wearing a wig, dude. What the fuck's going on? This really would be such a great experience for you and me to be in at Geonopolis Towers recording the pod. Oh, man. Yeah.

Speaking of recording the pod, should we have pressed record on our end? Were we meant to do that? Oh, don't do this to us. Don't fucking do this to us. Chase the pranks again. Chase the pranks. Yes. Got us.

He's back. He's back. I got a message the other day saying that, I know you guys had a lot of fans really early on, like obsessive sort of fans. Now that you've been going for a while, do those drop off? Do you get obsessed fans that have just gotten older and moved out to the suburbs and can't stalk you as well now? Is that what happens? Look, I must say, when we were popular, I used to get stopped in the street a lot.

I'm sure Craig did as well. And it used to be quite irritating at times, like when you get stopped by a lot of people. But I must say I kind of miss it now. Not so much now. The irony of that is that Chaz is the person who got punched in the head Because of a song

A sketch that Chris wrote as well He's missing that I got punched in the head for Make-A-Wish No, it wasn't for Make-A-Wish Oh no, it was the eulogy song It was the eulogy song It was a Peter Brock fan Punched Chaz in the head

I had nothing to do with it I'm the only person who had nothing to do with it I got punched in the head for it So it was a sketch a Peter Brock fan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Punched Chaz in the head. Yeah, I had nothing to do with it. I'm the only person that had nothing to do with it. I got punched in the head for it. Oh, so it was a sketch about Peter Brock and just some rev head came and clocked you. Pretty much. Yeah, yeah. I was going to say, though, about the Psychotic fans.

We did once have Psychotic fans, but it's funny. I don't know if you've seen on Giant Dwarf's Instagram, funny i don't know if you've seen on on giant dwarfs instagram they now have a person who every single week acts like a psychotic fan of the chaser like that's her shtick she's a comedian whose shtick is that she acts like a psycho she's basically making fun of people who could possibly be psychotic fans of the chaser Which is kind of the ultimate insult. It's not just that she's not really a fan, but she's actually laughing at the idea that anyone could be a fan. That's kind of where we're at at the moment.

I haven't even looked at that. On the Instagram of the theatre that you guys run, the ultimate insult. Yeah, it is. So the Giant Dwarf is the theatre that you guys run or own or whatever it is, and I think you're relocating it or something like that. But we've done a few live shows. Yeah, we don't really have much to do with it.

That's kind of dealt with by others. We can't take any credit. That's okay. Carl, try and set something up. No, I wasn't going to give you any credit. I was just hoping for a thank you for all the fucking high fees that we've pumped into that thing over the years by doing live shows up in Sydney. Absolute exorbit hire fees that we've pumped into that thing over the years by doing live shows up

in Sydney. Absolute exorbitant fees that we're charged for. Just huge fees and then just at the end of the show, it'll always stick in my head, the image of your manager there, just using a broom to sweep up the empty bottles and beer

cans that are going up to his knees and him saying to us, this is the most money we've ever made from beer in our lives. This is amazing. And us going, any chance of a discount? Absolutely not. No, no. Well, thank you very much.

Yeah, and I do remember that you set some kind of drinking record, your fans, which didn't surprise us. But, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But you've got to look at it this way, Carl. $1.95 of that higher fee comes back into our coffers every month from Craig himself. Oh, yes.

Okay. You know, it kind of balances itself out. It's all right. Yeah. It's like money laundering. Yeah, exactly. Well, speaking of fans, I bring that up just because I got messaged It's all right, yeah. It's like money laundering. Yeah, exactly. Well, speaking of fans, I bring that up just because I got a message

during, I think, last week by someone saying, oh, did you know, by the way, did you know you've got this secret community of Perth barristers and solicitors? Which is just a remarkable sentence, I think. A secret community of fans that are Perth barristers and solicitors. I think that sort of sounds, you know, on surface a lot more impressive than what it is. Because, like, who cares? Perth barristers and solicitors, what are they doing?

Just dealing with Ben Cousins' custody issues? And that's about it. Because it's a heads up that was like, you guys are definitely going to be in trouble with the law at some stage and need representation? Yeah, yeah. Just so you know. I think it's like a heads up,

like maybe next time we go to Perth to do a live show, we can just commit any sort of crime and we're sorted. Okay. That's how the law works, yeah. The weird thing about that is if, like, let's just say, for argument's sake, there are 300 Perth barristers and solicitors who listen to you guys, big fans, right? How would they know that the other 299,

like it's almost like they're in a room together. Like how do they know that they are a group that listen to you unless they listen as a group? Yeah, yeah. I imagine it's like chaos in Get Smart and they're all like some, all the worst ones are like some evil super group that all get together and have a meeting and talk about each episode. Chaz is right.

There's no way that you could know that you all listen to it unless you're all in the room, unless you just spoke to each other occasionally about what you're listening to and watching. Who speaks to their work, mate? That's crazy, yeah. Why would you speak to your workmates? But that's, can I say, that doesn't surprise me though.

Like, who was it the other day, somebody, who listens, you know, it was Gogglebox. Doesn't, one of the Gogglebox people, yeah, wore one of your shirts on Gogglebox, didn't they? Yeah. I mean, Craig, you would have advised her against that, but yeah, she wore it on the TV. Yeah, look, that's much bigger to me than the Barristers of Perth. That's an indication of just how big a fan Craig is of you guys. He doesn't just listen to you,

but he also watches TV shows that your T-shirts appear on. That's how big a fan he is. I've become such a big fan. Just to make sure. He watches everything just to make sure that there's no dum-dum T-shirts appear on. That's how big a fan he is. I've become such a big fan. Just to make sure. Watches everything just to make sure that there's no dum-dum T-shirts in there at any point. He's got a Google TV alert for us. It just pops up.

Oh, no dum-dum shirt on Better Call Saul this week. Bit of a shit-up as far as I'm concerned. He's got the point. I'm such a big fan. When I walk past the bush, I check in it to see if Chandler's shat there. I'm a big fan. When I walk past a bush, I check in it to see if Chandler's shat there.

I should do like a Kramer reality tour of Bridge Road, Richmond and just go, yep, done it in that one, that one, that one. Yeah. Do you think you've got a third one in you for ISO? Do you think you've got a trilogy? I took my child to the playground where I could literally see the bush I'd done it in as I'm pushing my child on the swing. I was looking at it going, man, that is a bit too close for comfort, actually. You might want to check if any of those barristers are lawyers or family lawyers, I reckon, for the future. A lot of evidence in these podcasts.

Can you imagine that if you did get into a divorce hearings and you just went through like three days in a federal courtroom of them replaying bits of Dumb Dumb Club to you and them going, what do you have to say about this? Absolutely. I reckon three days would be a pretty light one. Yeah. And it'd be like the final episode of Seinfeld

where they just go through The ten years Of all the shit cunt things That all the cast have done Yeah And it's just like That's me Instead of the soup Nazi

It's like The primary school teacher Out the front of the bush And everything else I've done And it's like the It's like the Gogglebox t-shirt It's like Chandler Walking into the first day of court

And the jury coming in And seeing four burger t-shirts On the jury stand and being like, all right, I'm feeling pretty good about this one. I reckon if you do go through a divorce, definitely get it done in Perth because it's a bit like, you know, you've got that network there of barristers and solicitors. It's a bit like, you know, filthy pedo networks

and when people get let off, you're like, how did he win that case? How did he get custody of that child? Yeah. And it just ends with me and Ben Cousins running across the Nullarbor together. Yeah, we're free. We're free. Man, you'd be bursting running across the Nullarbor. No bushes there at all.

Yeah, yeah. Can I just ask, when you're making a Ben Cousins reference, are you doing that because he was just, wasn't he recently in the news a couple of days ago or about a week or two ago? Are you doing it because you knew that or are you doing that as a kind of 10-year-old reference? Because if you're doing a 10-year-old comedy reference,

I think you have to pay royalties to Chris Taylor. I thought I was being a bit in and then you trumped me by being even more in. Well done. I do like the idea that we would be potentially inspired to uproot our lives and move to Perth just because of knowing. We're covered legally. Yeah. So my girlfriend is originally from Perth and every now and then,

when all this was kicking off, her grandma hit her up and was like, hey, if you're worried about work and everything, you could always move back here and, you know, stay with me for a bit. And Tommy would be welcome here as well. I'm like, what if I now like, babe, let's do it. I've got the inside tip that we can commit as many crimes as we want over there in the West. So I'm with you. You want to be close to your family. I want to be able to fucking murder people in the street.

Just do whatever I want to be able to fucking murder people in the street and just do whatever I want and get away with it. We're going to create a whole new life. You want to do that, just move to South Australia. See, old reference. No, no, no. It's at least 10 years old. Well, an old reference of ours. We don't want to do that because none of the lawyers

would turn up to help us out. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I met Tommy's girlfriend for the first time today. Oh, really? He's been going out with her for how long? How long? Six and a bit months.

You've been keeping her away from Carl on purpose? Worried that he'd win her over? Yeah, I started COVID to delay the introduction for as long as I could. Yeah. Six months. Six and a half months. It's a long time. It's a long time to not meet the love of your life.

Yeah, but you met her today. Yeah, what did she think of me? She said the dynamic between you and I was very funny. Oh, nice. Oh, isn't that sweet? She didn't say Carl was very funny. She said the dynamic between you two was very funny. The dynamic. Hey, that's one of the better reviews I've got. I'm part of it. I said the dynamic between you two was very funny. The dynamic.

Hey, that's one of the better reviews I've got. I'm part of it. I'll take that. That's fine by me. Absolutely fine. It explains the success of the podcast, really. That's one up from that other cunt bagging my stand up earlier in the pod. That's because you don't have Tommy there.

She said to me after we drove off, she said, what would you do if I now become just like best friends with Carl and we just hang out all the time without you? And my answer was, I would kill myself. That would be the end of me, for sure. Nice. I like how Craig's a legitimate fan of this show now, and you can tell that by he's bagging my stand-up multiple times in this episode,

despite the fact I know he has never seen me do stand-up. That is classic Dumb Dumb fan. Carl, Carl, Carl. Hang shit on it without even seeing it. This is the great genius of you setting up a podcast, and this is why it worked so well, is that most people set up a podcast to make people go and see their other stuff, and yet you've set up a podcast and legitimately convinced everybody around Australia

that's ever listened to your podcast that you do shit stand-up. It's the most extraordinary bit of self-negging ever. It is weird how many times we get the review, oh, wow, that was way better than we thought it would be. You guys are actually good at stand-up. Yeah, why do you always say you're really bad at it? We're like, I don't know, it's funny. And also, I don't think it's ever us saying we are bad at stand-up. Yeah, why do you always say you're really bad at it? We're like, I don't know, it's funny. And also, I don't think it's ever us saying we are bad at stand-up.

It's just us reporting back and going, another person said we were bad at stand-up. Yeah. You're contributing to that. Yeah, I guess you would be able to tell that because numbers in the crowd, you would be able to tell if I'd been there. Yeah, yeah. That's a subtle one.

He's done you again. I've heard them all. Don't worry. I picked it up. I've heard them all. I'm trying to think if I'd been there. That's a subtle one. He's got you again. I've heard them all. Don't worry. I picked it up. I've heard them all. I was trying to think if I could get away with it. Yeah, yeah. Very good.

I get it. I'm shit. Good one. Yeah. Well, I think we'd better wrap it up for another week on the Little Dundum Club. Chas, Craig, thank you very much for joining us. Thanks for having us, guys. My first time, I got to see them do, like, that was the wrap-up.

That's the wrap-up that Tommy always does. Seeing it live was amazing. It's magic. Now, Chaz, you've got Planet America that's online and on the OBC. Yeah, yeah, I've got Planet America on the show. If you watch Plan America And you think to yourself You know the problem with this show

Is it's not nerdy enough I've also got a podcast called Pep Where it's like your podcast Except for rather than getting the best comedians in Australia I get a professor of American politics On every single week So apart from that it's identical Call them a cunt

That's where I get Craig on Yeah, and they read out their dad's memoir on every single week. So apart from that, it's identical. Call them a cunt. That's where I get Craig on, yeah. Yeah, and they read out their dad's memoir. And Craig, you might see Craig picking up bits of shit on the highway as you're driving past him these days. I think that's what he's doing. Yeah, yeah. Can I just, you know, please, please ask you to put your shits in the right binge, Carl.

It goes in the compost, mate. It's not in the other one, okay? Have you got any shows coming out into your... I know the docker came out like this year, but yeah. We don't need to talk about that. Don't even want to name it. Oh, really? Oh, yeah.

I love that. You're one of those guests. I love a guest where they come on and we go, oh, do you want to plug your thing? And they're like, this podcast is too shit to plug my stuff. I'm not even going to use the name on it. What this is about is that Craig knows that the publicity budget for his next show is so massive. There's going to be like mouse pads coming out, undies coming out,

and little anklets coming out. He doesn't need it. I could do with some of those undies if you could send me them. Send some your way. You've got my face on it. Craig, just quickly before we go, I've said this to Chas before, but as a survivor of childhood cancer who got a wish from the Make-A-Wish Foundation, I think you should be fucking ashamed of yourself.

You'd get hit by a bus. I was thinking coming on the fucking show with a cancer survivor was a bit of a risk. Next time you see me, Tommy, just punch me in the back of the head. Everyone else does. Alright, guys. Thanks very much for joining us. And we'll see you next time. See you, mate.

See you, mate. And they've done it again. They've done it again. I've said it again. They've done it again. I've said it again. They've done it again. I've said it again too. There's a lot of stuff happening for a multiple time right now. Yep.

Bernie, Bernie's, you know, he's, I'll tell you what, hasn't shown that he's been in self-isolation. No. He's been stretching indoors. He's got out there. The hamstrings have not pinged off the bone. They're just still pretty fluid. Bang.

He's kicked a big one. It's certainly not a case of the grasshopper being put into a box and then only being able to jump as high as the box. He's come out and he's just stretching out. He was chomping at the bit. So big one. Done it again. Any further questions?

No that's it Until we come up with a third catchphrase To use in this bit I reckon that's all we need to say for now Yeah No good ep Fun ep Hopefully it sounds like that Little bit of lag

That hopefully Tommy Daslow Editor extraordinaire Has fixed right up But lots of fun getting Been trying to get Craig on the show forever. He's always too busy separating the recyclables from the garbage. Yep.

All around Australia. I presume that's what he's been busy doing. So good to finally get him on, especially with someone who actually listens to the show. Yeah. Which I found sort of funny that it took more work to get someone who actually likes the show on than someone random. That's a good point.

Yeah. Yeah, but, yeah, great to finally get him in the mix after him being a Patreon subscriber for such a long time. And I'm sure he's, you know, this is the great thing about these people who listen to the show and then come on it. Maybe you would think that for a week there, well, that's a bummer. That's an ep I can't listen to because I was in it. There's no surprise.

But guess what? He now has an hour and three quarters of this shit at the end to enjoy that he hasn't heard before. I didn't ask if he's a talking dum-dum listener or not. Maybe he's not. He mightn't be. Yeah, well, this is how we find out. Craig, if you're listening to this bit, let us know.

Give us the eagle has landed up my butthole.'s the uh yeah tweet that at us the eagle has landed up my butthole yep yep easy craig was talking a lot about um oh firstly let's let's plug the fact that we are currently uh sitting in your house at the masturbatorium. Tommy, we've just picked up a billion fucking hoodies and T-shirts of the new Talking Dum Dum design. Yep, yep. If you want to go to our website, you'll find plenty of hoodies and T-shirts in black and or navy. No, not and or navy.

Black or navy. That's what I should say. So get on to that. Go and have a look at the design. Get yourself a shirt or a hoodie. Now, we are running out of certain sizes already, but there are plenty of sizes that we haven't sold out of, so get on to that.

We've just done a run to pick up. I think approximately, did we get like 22 boxes or something of merch? I think that was it. There's three runs involved. Yeah, how many did you get in your car? I think I got six in mine by the end did you is that all yeah oh i thought i i think i got two four six eight i got i think i got nine you got nine boxes in your car yeah just then yeah really yeah wow two in the front two in the back stink uh yes in the front, two in the back. Two in the stink. Yes.

Two in the front, two in the back, and then five or six in the back seat. Oh, wow. Yeah. Impressive. Yeah. I think that was it. Yeah. And then we already had five, so what does that add up to? I don't care.

Like 20 or something. Yeah. Yeah. So there's heaps. The point is there's heaps um and we're we're we've just we've been sending them out in the mail we're about to do another big bunch of sending them out in the mail um guys if you want one grab one now because um i've my my wife is is not very happy about us having so many of these things

uh i've got three boxes of merch in the baby's room at the moment, and that's too many according to her. Yep. I don't know where the fucking kid's going to sleep. Yep. The kid might have to grow up in, I don't know, sleeping in a couch. In a box of the T-shirts. It's pretty soft. Hoodies are pretty cushioned.

Look, the hoodies are very nice. Yeah. So that's a good sell for it. You know, you should get one. A baby could sleep in one. Yep. And if the baby has to sleep in them, guys, if anyone wants a navy and brown hoodie, provisions can be made for that for sure.

What's the thing called, the like baby Bjorn thing that you carry a baby around in? You know, a hoodie's got that little pouch. So you could sort of use it for one of them. You could just like stuff a child into the little pocket thing. As long as you don't have a head. Yeah. No, no, no. I mean the thing like the pocket bit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no. Ours don't have that. Do they have that bit? There's pockets, but not the one all the way through. Yeah, okay. Yeah. You should know that, Tommy.

Yeah. So get one. Get one. They're looking fucking great. So get onto that. We're about fucking great. So get on to that. We're about to stuff a whole heap of them. This morning I filled an entire mailbox with hoodies. Literally filled a mailbox with hoodies.

So from 9.30am in Hawthorne at my local mailbox. No one could post anything. Sorry. Sorry if you were trying to post something there. Yeah. Letter to Nan. Or Nan sending a letter to a relative. 50 bucks stuffed in the envelope.

Or wouldn't that be nice if they chucked that in there, that tore the envelope, the 50 bucks went into the parcel we were sending. Someone gets... Someone gets a little bonus. Someone gets like a refund and the product. Yeah, yeah. That'd be good.

Pretty fucking good. Or they make some money on the deal. Yep. The ultimate scam. Yeah. So get onto that the uh go into the website check out what's available of course we've got the old designs we've got the burger we've got the aware we've got the hat the aware hat we've got the stubby oh we don't have stubby holders you know if you're busting for a stubby holder and look we're not uh it's not on the website at the moment but we do still have them it's the middle of winter nearly So if you want to get into communication with us, if you want that.

But it's not readily available as we speak. But it's not a featured item in our little merch bank at the moment. But also, what else? That's all there is to plug on the website, I think. Yeah. I was going to say this off the back of that episode, because we had Craig on there and he's a listener, and he was talking about the previous, last week's episode,

the previous episode, the little poo jogger escapade thing happening. Straight after we recorded this episode, I went home. Now, long-time listeners will know that basically one tram connects our houses. Yep. I can walk out the front of your house, jump directly on a tram after about 20 metres. And then I get out the front of my house and walk about probably 100 metres home. I get out, get on the tram and there is a listener of ours that is a tram driver. Yes.

And I just happen, this happens very rarely, but I got on the tram that she was driving. And that's all well and good. But then she said to me, and she recognised me because there's no one getting on trams at the moment. Yeah. She's like, oh, how are you going? I'm like, good. And she's like, how are you going i'm like good and she's like how's your uh how's your week been okay and i'm like click well that i know what that means like the episodes just come out basically about the the poo jogger yeah sort of storyline and so i'm

like oh of course she means that i guess i guess she means i've been hit up a lot. And then I'm like, click. Man, that tram line is exactly the way I run. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. So then I just got very paranoid. It is the reality tour of where these sites have been. Yes, it's a reality tour of the places. And then I just got a bit paranoid because I'm sitting there trying to fish information out. When you're asking me how my work's been, did you see me do any of this stuff? Right, right.

Because she drives the tram up and down, directly next to where I was doing this stuff. That's funny if you've just completely, if she just is being polite, and you're just assuming, here we go, asking about the pod, and you're like, haven't taken any poos in bushes lately, and she's just like, what the fuck are you talking about?

I haven't caught up since I've been in ISO. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a bit behind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then very quickly. The crunchy stuff's just happening where I'm up to. But having said that, you'd catch on pretty quick and go, well, this is an amazingly out of the ballpark of this.

Yeah, true, true. I can figure out what's happened here. Yeah. Yeah. Be good if you don't listen to one episode like two episodes and go on oh yeah and then all of a sudden it's like yeah i shit myself wherever i go is that what you're talking about no not really yeah i mean there are any episode there's going to be someone listening for the first time so that episode could well have been there are people probably out there who that's like 100

of their experience with the little dum-dum club and then we talk about it again you know they're like all right well it's a little crass a little beneath me but i'll get oh the chaser i love the chaser and then we're talking about it again this week so now they're just like two for two like my god yeah we got to do a we got to do a completely clean up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, sure. Look, I'm happy. I'd be more than happy to do that. If someone said to me right now, I promise you, you won't shit your pants this week. Easy.

Yeah, great. But there's no guarantees in life. No. Yeah. And also, I'd love some wholesome content to happen to me this week. Yeah. So it's like, great. Yep.

Well, Mr. Bunny turned up. I don't know. Wholesome and funny. That's the problem. It's very rare that those two things intersect, where it's like, this is nice and polite and clean and also fucking hilarious. It rarely ever happens that way.

For the people that are like, oh, it's a bit yuck, some people have got a bit of an aversion to material like that, and that's fine. Like we explained, you can only deal with the cards you've been dealt with yeah um what the what listeners generally really like hearing about on this show is like we're the underdogs if anything good happens to us people get really excited so so guys you know what go out there and make something good happen to us yeah yeah okay so i can overshadow yeah all these horrible things that are happening yeah that's a good that's a really good call.

Yeah, go out there. Give us your positive energy or just if you've got a way to be proactive about it, get us a great gig, like anything that you've got the power. If you work for a big company that could get us in to do a really high-paying corporate or whatever. If you're Conan, get us over there to do a spot. If you're the head of Channel 10, even if you're not any of those things, just sort of positively stalk us and do stuff like, you can see us coming down the street and maybe I'm jogging at night.

You know what? Just chuck a 50-buck note in front of me on the road or something. Chuck some toilet paper at you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're Pammy, if you're listening, fly out to Australia and have sex with both of us. Exactly. Yep.

There's a lot of cool, and that's all like interesting content as well. Yep. That's not, you know, it's not just like, you listen to nice guys

doing comedy, you know, people that don't swear or anything and you can sort of say, oh, it's a bit boring sometimes. If you've got stuff like that happening. Yeah. If we're having sex with Pammy,

that's a great episode. Probably not as wholesome as the original plan. Well, you know, if it's passionate, if, you know, just being in love, we wouldn't have to graphically describe it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could just say, like, I had a romantic interlude with the star of Baywatch. Yes. Yeah, yeah.

No, that's a good point. So anything like that, if you are Pammy, if you know Pammy, if you're in charge of any sort of... Pammy-related businesses. Yeah, even if you've just got pictures of her that you can send to us. If you run Netflix, any small things like that. Anything positive but entertaining. Yes. Send them our way.

Yep. Great. All right. Well, that should be next week sorted. Yep. That should be fine. Just us having a great week. Boy, it's been awesome, Carl.

Yep. Someone bought me lunch and that was very funny. Yep. Pammy had sex with me and that was also very funny. Yeah. She's having a kid. Yep. Yeah.

We're having a great old time. I've got HIV. Yep. Real gut buster. Yep. Oh, gut buster. I've got HIV. Yeah, real gut buster. Yeah. Oh, gut buster. All right, cool. I'm really looking forward to next week now,

now that everyone's... Now that we're guaranteed that it's going to be a good week. Imagine if it was as popular as, you know, like when we tried to get Crunchy voted as the face of the cat food company, where, you know, there's like thousands of people, you know, doing stuff like that. Thousands of people... Doing nice things for us things trying to do cool stuff for us yeah well the

chat the gauntlet's been laid down have at it guys yeah everyone everyone like you know for once my phone number is being signed up to it like amazing like all i'm doing is get fielding calls from people going you've won another jack cash jackpot Yeah. This is amazing. Hollywood executives calling you up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. You're on the project again. Sorry, you don't get your guest spot this time. It's hosting.

Yeah. Oh, okay. All right. No problem. Boy, you're delivering the headlines. That's something I'd legitimately love to see. All right. Good.

Get on it. Get on it, guys. Thank you. Let's do the thing speaking of good things happening in the week of course we can't complain too much because we have a lot of

very lovely wonderful generous listeners who donate every month to keep the show going and support us on Patreon

and if that's something that you would be into you can do that and you can also get a whole bunch of bonus stuff every week at the moment. We are pumping out two little mini bonus episodes a week with guests and different ideas and stuff in them.

Patreon.com slash LittleDumbDumbClub is where you can do that, and we also do a little segment here where we read out a random bunch of names, and we say thank you to the people that choose to very generously keep this show going. That's correct, Tommy. You can get that link off our website as well. Everything's linked back to the, it's a littledominoffclub.com.au? No.

No. I mean.com? Yep. Yes. That's what I meant. So if you go there, sign up, get your rocks off in any way, whether it's the bonuses, whether it's just in your heart. And, yeah, it goes towards funding, of course,

this massive piece of technology, the Unplanned Title Alternator, that keeps us honest, keeps everything honest around here. In terms of reading out names, no dishonest names, no names that don't exist. That's a cool thing. Well, I don't know about that. What do you mean? There's been the odd person who's put down a fake name when they've subscribed.

People that don't want to reveal their true identities. Who are these people that think they're fucking Bruce Wayne? They're just like some guy who works in IT. Like, I wouldn't want my real name to be read out on a podcast that is privacy is important to me you're right but some people with those requests please don't read my name out why yeah who gives a fuck who's getting sacked from their job because their name was read out on a podcast oh that person subscribes to a podcast for five dollars a week i cannot work with them anymore. Yeah, exactly. They're getting cancelled.

To be fair, if you did listen to a lot of this show and then you went, this person funds this show, you'd be like, okay. Yeah. Maybe it is. Maybe we can cancel them a little bit. Something wrong with you. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

Let's get stuck in. Let's fire up the unplanned title alternator. That's it. Let's fire it up so we can get into our true love, packing hoodies into postage bags. Yep. Man, I've already done a heap. It is one hell of a job. Yeah, I can't wait.

It is very, very fun. All right. Subscriber number one, first cap off the rank for this week. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber, Sam Scriber. Yeah, I see this name a bit on the socials. This sticks out. Yeah, I have always wondered, how do you pronounce this? Scriber?

I'd love it to be Scriber. I'm sure it's not. I think Scriber is how I say it in my head when I see the name on a Facebook post or whatever. Yeah. But. Why would you like it to be Scriber? It sounds funny. Right.

It sounds so much better. Scriber. Scriber. I think if I were Sam, I would just change the pronunciation. I would just go with Scribber. I'm sure we'll hear from him. Yeah. I mean, very presumptuous to think that it's pronounced Sam.

It could be Sam. Sam. Sam Scribber. Sam Scriber. Scriber. I don't know. I back myself as Scriber, and the more you've said Scriber, the more it makes sense. Well, no.

It just feels like it would be like a double B. Yeah. Double B-E-R would be Scriber. Scriber. Scriber. Yeah, you're right. I think it's got to be Scriber. Psalm Scriber.

It's, um... That's, is that, hang on. Is that almost, this could be a fake name. Psalm Scriber. It's – Is that – hang on. Is that almost – this could be a fake name. Sam Scriber. Yeah, Subscriber. Oh. Oh, gee. After just talking about fake names.

Sam Scriber. No, but he's – I've seen him on Facebook and stuff for a long time. Yeah. He said that, you know. If I was just hearing this in isolation, I'd think maybe. And also, it doesn't really make sense. It's not quite close enough to subscriber to be able to, you know, categorically say, yes, that's definitely what he's going for.

Yeah. No, you're right. It's a long game to just have a whole Facebook profile saying Sam Scriber. To fuck up your whole life for the purposes of one day getting a couple of minutes devoted to you at the back end of a podcast that no one listens to. Yeah. And then everyone, all of his friends that he's communicating with are like, why is your name, your last name's Mackenzie, why is it Scriber?

Well, because I subscribe to your podcast. Yeah. So what's that got to do with it? You know, because I subscribe, so my name's Sam Scribe. Yeah. Not really. None of it makes sense, actually. Well, you'll see.

When they talk about it on the podcast, I'm going to cut the clip out and send it to you, and then you'll see. Yeah. Yeah. Well, why did you have to name your children in real life Scriber as well? That'll pay off, too. The boys will find it funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The boys will find it really funny. Because I've, like like you know when people sign people up to the MCC when they're just born so that they're there in time for when they're older

this is just like that you know so he can subscribe sign up his kids to be subscribed to this show as well well maybe he's yeah he's been subscribing

to the show now for 18 years maybe he's been self-subscribing for years oh fuck yeah. That's the kind of stuff I love to hear about. Yeah, no, this is a bloody internet busybody, this bloke. This bloke, I've read maybe too many times his name on the socials.

He really gets stuck into it. He really, yeah, I mean, often we'll read out a name on this bit of the show and be like, oh, yeah, I recognize this name. And let me tell you, folks, it's not really a good thing. There's a lot of people online that interact with this show. If you're sticking out, maybe take a bit of a breather. Yeah, yeah. You don't need to be commenting everything is Rick on every single post that comes up

in the Facebook group. This is, yeah, it's never like, I recognize this name. This person's left us alone for the last eight years. This person sends me a message every time they would comment and says, just so you know, I'm sitting this one out. And we're like, wow, that's cool of you. Really appreciate that. Really appreciate you respecting our free time. Yeah. It's not often.

Oh, I remember that name. Because they've never hassled us. They buy a ticket for every live show but then don't turn up. And also they seem to be a topless model for the Picture magazine five years ago. And they just sent us a whole catalogue of their work. Yeah. That's rare. It's rare.ogue of their work yeah that's rare that's rare

that's very rare that that happens I could count the amount of time that's happened on one hand and that one hand has also been quite busy yeah

oh very nice well thanks Sam thanks Sam thanks Scriber show us your boobs Sam thanks Scribzy thanks Scribo alright

he's next for a second I was like seems like the sort of guy that would come to Koh Samui but I don't think Thanks, Scribo. All right. He's next. For a second, I was like, it seems like the sort of guy that would come to Koh Samui, but I don't think he was. It's hard to keep track of everyone. Like, you know what? You see these names and you recognize them.

You just don't have a full picture of who these people are, though. Yeah. That's familiar. I just don't have the whole case history. Yeah. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Natalia Piotka. Piotka? Piotka.

P-I-E-T-K-A. Natalia. Piotka. Piotka. Piotka. Piotka. Natalia Piotka. Yeah.

I'll sign off on that. Yeah. Thank you. Piotka. Man, I like'll sign off on that. Yeah, thank you. Piotrka. Man, I like the sound of this name. I'm into it too. Natalia is good. Man, it's really good.

And then whatever Piotrka is, it sounds like from the sort of the part of the world I like. Like it's a, you know, look, I'm not ashamed to say I think it sounds like a very attractive name. Yeah, I'd agree with that. Yeah. There's not a lot going against it in terms of, you know, if that name turns up in a movie and it's like, oh, Natalia Piedka will be here soon. You're not anticipating the next scene to be some 68-year-old woman with a big bag of potatoes. No. No. You're going, here we go. Here we go. This is going to be some 68-year-old woman with a big bag of potatoes. No. No.

You're going, here we go. Here we go. This is going to be some stunner. This is why this movie is MA and included. I'm about to find out what... I'm about to see one of those high-impact sex scenes that I was warned about on the front of the box. High impact?

High impact. What's a low-impact sex scene? Well, high impact, I think it has to do with like the sound that it makes going in high impact a bit of balls slapping around down there whereas low impact is a bit more tender a bit slower wow balls slapping sorry natalia yeah yeah sorry about that um but hey your fault yeah your, your name. Not our fault. I like Natalia too because you kind of, it's kind of like, you get a lot of different options there. You could just call yourself Talia.

You could call yourself Nat. You could probably even get away with calling yourself Natalie if you really wanted. Yeah. You've sort of, it's kind of just like two other names fused together that then you're just getting to have your kind of pick of the litter. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty litter. Yeah, yeah. It's pretty cool. Yeah, yeah.

I'd be pretty happy with that. I'd be pretty happy if you were called Natalia. Yeah. I'd be pretty happy if I was some real hottie subscribing to a podcast. Yeah. Like, that's the cool thing about hotties that listen to podcasts. If I was a chick, I'd be hot, I reckon. I'd be a real hot chick if I was a chick. You know what the good thing is about attractive girls listening to podcasts is?

Man, you stand out. Yeah. You stand out. Oh, yeah. Oh, look. Oh, yeah. And guys as well. A real minority.

And guys as well. Yeah. You know. Oh, yeah. And guys as well. A real minority. And guys as well. Yeah.

You know. But, yeah. If you're a hottie and you in any way pop your head up above the, out of a hole in the ground and show any interest in a podcast, just so you know, the community sees you. We're very aware. Yeah. Yeah. We all discuss it at the union meetings that week. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Down at the club, down at the podcaster week. At the AGM. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Down at the club, down at the podcaster's club on a Friday night. Yeah. We'll take the minutes and go, anyone seen anyone hot that listens to the podcast this week? Sometimes one hand will tentatively go up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like, oh, I saw a hot... There are six. That's pretty good, isn't it? And we'll all go, that's actually pretty good. That's great for what we're used to saying on the socials. Actually pretty good. Good Lord. Pretty good.

Anyway, thanks for the money, everyone. Thanks for being our livelihood at the moment. Hey, I'm, you know, we cop enough shit. That's very true. Yeah. Yeah, it's time to send it back outwards. Yeah, that's it. That's it.

No, it's all a joke. It's comedy. Hey, who are we? We're no oil paintings. We're aware of that. And we're saying... We're not saying we're hotter than the people that listen. We're saying we're at least as ugly, maybe slightly more attractive than the average.

Yeah, and the whole point of this was to say that Natalia Piutka sounded great. So what we're actually saying is in this instance, you sound great. That's the whole point of this was to say that Natalia Piedka sounded great. So what we're actually saying is in this instance, you sound great. That's the whole point of this riffing. We just sort of like danced around it and sort of also made sure that everyone knows it's okay to be a six. Yeah, exactly. It is totally nothing wrong with being a six. There's no use everyone that listens to this podcast being fucking 11s.

There's no use everyone we go to a live show and us just walk out and before we say hey, mates, we're just jerking our little cocks vigorously over the front four rows. And look, they perform a, you know, some of the filthiest nights of my life have been with bonafide sixes. A bonafide six. All we're saying, Natalia, is that, yeah, you sound attractive. And now, as, you know, often we'll speculate on the attractiveness of someone we've read out.

And, you know, we're going to have to do what we always do. We're going to need some kind of verification from you. We're going to need you to poke your head up on the socials and let us know. Honestly, get on there and you rate yourself. Yes. Get on there and give us the number that you think you are. I want to know if you're a self-confessed eight or what. Yeah.

I'd love to know. I'd love to know if someone would give them, if she can give herself an eight or not. No, I really appreciate it. I like the idea of anyone being a six. Six is a good number for people. It's just funny, I think. What do you mean?

It's not poking your head up above or below. Six is pretty non-offensive. It's just someone that... Really? Yeah, why? Six is like... Oh, I guess you're right. The hard thing is...

Six is above average. Yeah, no, you're right. Yeah. The hard thing is. Six is above average. Yeah, no, you're right. The hard thing is six feels low because it's like close to, you know, we're sort of getting to like just over halfway and then below that. Yeah. But if you gave me, this is the thing, even though they're the exact same thing, if you gave me a three out of five, I'd be like, that's right. Yeah.

I've done fine there. Yeah. I've gotten away with it. Yeah. But if you said to me a six out of ten, I'd be like, oh, that's brutal. Well, I've always – I've said this on the show before. I've always rated seven means good to me. So six, six just means average to me.

It's based on an old soccer magazine rating of people's performances out of ten. Seven always meant good and six meant average. So if you're average it's like that's fine you're not you know you're not drawing any attention to yourself in fact if you i think a good six this is how i see a good six is um you maybe you would work with a good six and the first day you see him you sort of go yeah whatever but then you know when you get to know someone and you're around somebody really yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you become more, all of a sudden a six, a six is a potential eight.

I see what you're saying. Yeah. But that, but yeah, to go back to your scale of things, if I'm, you know, if I'm kind of interested in a movie and maybe I'll look up on Metacritic to kind of see what the critical consensus is. If something's sitting around a 60% on Metacritic, I'm like, I might not bother. Yeah, but put it this way. You see a six in a movie and you go, I don't know if I've got the time. And then you see a six who says, do you want to fuck?

And you're like, well, 60% is not too bad of a rating really, is it? Yeah, that's true. And maybe it's like you're saying, maybe I'd go to the movie. Maybe I'd be like, you know what? The critics weren weren't into it but i still want to see it i like this director i like the people in it i go to the movie you know 15 minutes in i'm really seeing a different side of it yeah i'm like i want to fuck this movie yes i pull my dick out yeah yeah yeah spray all over the screen exactly yeah yeah thanks natalia Stick a chalk top up your ass. I get it, yeah. Thanks, Natalia.

Thank you to Patreon subscriber, Nicky Innes. Nicky Innes. This is, now, look, I don't want to get too grubby on one podcast, but Nicky Innes, it almost sounds like it's supposed to be like a, like you were thinking about Sam Scriber, Nicky Innes almost sounds like it's supposed to be a dirty name. Yes thinking about sam scriber nicki innis almost sounds like it's supposed to be a dirty name yes it sounds like a character from a limerick from what from a limerick oh from a lyric yeah yeah there once was a man called nicki innis well it's a girl and i go yeah kki yeah that's sort of pretty porny as well

pretty porny as well. Porn style. Okay. Don't you think? It certainly, if I met two people called Nicky and one of them was N-I-C-K-Y

and one of them was N-I-double-K-I and someone said to me, one of these girls is a stripper. I'd be like, I think I know which one. Well, I'd be like,

good for her. That's honest work. Good way to make a living. Me too. And I'd be like, good for her. That's honest work. Good way to make a living. Me too. And I'd be like, where do you work? And do I get a discount? Get a discount just for having met her. What kind of system is this?

Damn, I hate that rule with being a stripper where anyone I come into contact with, I'm legally obligated to give them a discount at my work. One of the pitfalls of the industry. I say that as a joke. I'm not a strip club fan. Me and you have been at the same strip club at the same time before. We were.

I'm not doubting it. I just can't remember it. We may have been. A Bucks? Twice. Yeah, one Bucks. Was McGinley's Bucks one of them? Danny McGinley's Bucks.

Yeah. Yeah. And which we, a lot of comedians went to. We went to a little party thing at a pub first. And then we all ended up at a strip club. Yeah. And it's just funny because I don't think I'd ever been to one. I don't think I'd ever been to one.

And that amount of people, that style of people, all comedians, all just idiots and weirdos and nerds and whatever. And then so it was just dozens of us there and girls dancing and us paying nearly no attention to them. Yes. So there were topless waitresses. At the party. At the party, yes, yes. Yes, that there were topless waitresses. At the party. At the party, yes. Yes, that's right.

And then there was like a strip show thing at the party before we went to the air. Yes, that was very weird because I remember we were being a very bad audience. Yes. Like she had to kind of get up and give it a big, come on, give it up, guys. Yeah, very much so. It was very funny, actually. The equivalent of like, that killed last night.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's like, what more can I do? I've got them out. Yeah. Everything's showing. Pretty embarrassing in hindsight. We were being a very, very bad crowd. Yeah, we were being terrible.

Cold. It was terrible. Yeah. And then we went on to the strip club and then we were just as bad then. Yes. We were just talking to each other. I have less memory of being there, but yes.

Right. I just remember being there going, oh, these beers are too expensive. It it's like you know any it's like well why do you think they're expensive because you've got entertainment look around but i don't know it's all a bit weird that that's a bit weird i'm not look i'm a i'm a fan of i'm a fan of the the idea of of it fan of the product that it's promoting yes exactly That is housing But the method of delivery Yeah Leads a lot to be desired

Not for me Yeah Not for me But good for you If you want to do it I just That weird thing Where people get really into it

It's like Oh I'm not quite sure Why Like unless you're Jumping up on stage And just jerking off As it's happening I'm not sure

What do you Just watch it And then go home And go Yeah that was good I've only ever been Yeah a couple of times Like on I'm not sure what, what do you just watch it and then go home and go, yeah, that was good. I've only ever been, yeah,

a couple of times like on, on bucks dues or like, I think there was once I went during comedy festival with a couple of people like really drunk and like kind of, you know, like quote unquote ironically, but the idea of like the people that are just like into it, it's like Friday night, let's hit the strippers.

Not even an occasion, not a big thing, just like a semi-regular like, yep, okay, haven't been for like a couple of months, so let's go. That is really bizarre to me, to go there like hang out. Yeah, I would have to say as a kid, as a teenager growing up, the idea of it would be like, oh, that would be amazing. Like surely that's an amazing thing. And then the reality is it's not very amazing. Yeah.

It's not that good. It's not something I would – Yeah, so I think the other time we've been – Now, I'm not sure if you were there or not. I think you were there. You'll be able to tell me. Is the final night of the very first Koh Samui International Podcast Festival? No, I don't think I went that night.

I have been in Koh Samui, but I think it might have been the second year. Oh, that's right. When... Yeah. I think it was the second year before it started because we were there a few days earlier.

Yes. I remember going... I remember having a big night there with Milan before everything kicked off. Yes, that's what happened. So the first year I was there with Milan because he wanted to, of course, he was going to love a place that's full, you know, you're in an island paradise and it's a place that's supposed to be run by Russian strippers.

And he's like, okay, well, that's the only place I want to go to. Yeah. So I assume you went there with Milan the second year. But that's, yeah, I didn't go that time because I remember we were having drinks up on top of a hill at Jungle Club at night. That's right. And I was also staying there with my wife. That's right. Yeah.

And we had a great old time up there. And then you guys were like. We were in this little cabin thing, like a dining, and it was like pissing down with rain. It was awesome. Yeah. And then you guys were all like, oh, we it was like pissing down with rain. It was awesome. Yeah, and then you guys were all like, oh, we're going in there to do this, and I'm like,

yeah, I don't know if I can get away with that one. No, you weren't asked. You tried to get away. I remember you were like, oh, oh, okay, I'll go ask my wife if she minds, and you scurry off to the room, and then you come back with a very full-on look on your face like, I'm sorry, guys, I'm not allowed to come to the strippers with you.

Yeah, poor old Al Bundy. Yeah, yeah. He wasn't allowed to. Yep. But, yeah, fucking brutal use of time when it was like all, like the thing, the festival hadn't even kicked off yet. Yeah. Suffering through an ordeal of a hangover.

Yeah. Like the day before we started, everything wasn't too fun. Yeah. Who was up there that time? It was because we had a great old, because the idea was to have a great dinner with a great view overlooking the rest of the island and it pissed down. And I was like, oh, this is really disappointing.

But then we sat undercover and it was great. It was really fun. It was you, you and me and Milan and maybe Nick Carr? Maybe Kappa. Maybe Kappa. Maybe Kappa and Brett. Who knows? Yeah, I don't know.

But good night at the strippers? Yeah. Was it the Russian strippers? Galaxy, I think it was called. Yeah, I don't know. Just in that main bit of Chiwang. Yeah, yeah. Are there a lot...

Yeah, I can't remember. Are there a lot of strip clubs there? In my head, I'm remembering that there's just the one. But that can't be right. Yeah, I think... Well, if Milan was there, Milan would be... Milan's the sort of guy that's like, let's go to the place I know.

Yeah, okay, well, it was there. He would have taken me to that place. Yeah, fuck, who was that with? It was someone else with us. But yeah, he, I mean, he was like buying drinks for all the waitresses and stuff. That's what he did with us there. Yeah, it was pretty funny.

Yeah, pretty ridiculous. It was actually, it was fun being, like, yeah, there's always a point of like someone saying, let's go to the strippers where I'm like, because it's like, I don't find it fun to be there like i you know i'm not really into it but it was actually i don't know i think just like the thing of like being in samui and it's like this you know the start of this thing that we're about to do and milan's they're just being a fucking idiot yeah i was like oh this is like i probably will never go again in my life because this was just like

i actually had a fun time here instead of like feeling gross and but also it's like you know milan's like a connoisseur of that sort of experience so he was into it that's like okay do you do you want to go to the baseball by yourself no i'm not into it do you want to go with a super fan right right right right yes because they're that they're you know uh they'll be infectious with their enthusiasm for it um so i think so going to the strippers with Milan was like going to see Liverpool with you. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. So that was, I remember the time we were there, Milan was like, he knew everyone in the place by the end of it.

Yeah. He had, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was friends with, he was literally friends with half of them on Facebook by the end of it. Fuck,

that's very funny. Thanks, Nikki and Milan. Thanks, Nikki. God. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Nora Merrills. Merrill. Merrills. Merrills.

M-A-R-R-A-L-L-S. Nora. I like Nora. I like the name. Do you? Yeah, I like it. I would have to say Nora, you know, just on the face of it. By the way, that's three girls in a row all with N at the start of their names.

Who gives a fuck about the N at the start of the name? Just three girls in a row. It's pretty monumental enough without getting into the spellings. Yeah. And in alphabetical order as well, Natalia, Nikki and Nora. Whoa. That is...

I don't think that's ever happened on the show before. No. Stats, guys. Let me know if that's ever happened on the show before. You like Nora. Why?

To me, Nora is almost the anti-Natalia. In what sense? Well, it seems very old school. It's a bit... I would say, you know what? Again, like I gave that example of the movie for Natalia Pudka that's coming in, this is what you're expecting. If someone in a 1960s British comic book said,

here comes Nora, I'd be thinking of someone with like a bloody handkerchief on their head and a rolling pin in their hand coming up saying, no Carl, you can't go to the strip club in Koh Samui. Yes, back there. So it's your wife.

Yeah, so yeah, yeah. But like back then, sure. But I think it's like one of those names that is you know, maybe like back then, sure. But I think it's like one of those names that is, you know, maybe like back in vogue in current times as like an older person. But it's like one of the kind of older people names that you could kind of get away with calling a kid now and it wouldn't seem weird. Right.

You know what I mean? Like, you know, like my grandma's name was Sheila. No one's having a kid now. Like my grandpa's name was Garnet. They're names that are just gone forever. No one's calling it, you know, things of, you know, old names of that. The name Doug seems, you know, there's like kind of those sorts of names

that are in the canon as like older people names. But Nora's one of those ones that, yes, it has that flavor to it. But you can still picture like a cute little baby called Nora. Right. I don't know. It's a nice name. I get a good vibe from it. And maybe I'm just equating it with the gentle, soft music of Nora Jones.

Maybe that's doing a lot of lifting in my head. There you go. Why does this have such a pleasant feel to it? And it's probably just because of her. Okay, well, now I'm happy to swing around on that one because I didn't think of Nora with a H at the end of it. This one isn't. Oh, okay.

Oh, okay, I hate it. Nora. Yeah, but Nora Jones, yes. No, very good point. But that's the thing with any names. It's like, you know what? Gertrude. All it needs is like, you know, an 11 out of 10 girl to walk out of here and be a movie star and be called Gertrude.

And everyone's like, yeah, Gertrude's fucking hot. Everyone knows that. All Gertrudes are hot. Like Pamela. Without Pamela Anderson. Good point. Shit name. Yeah, good point.

Delete Pamela Anderson from history and all of a sudden it's like, oh, Auntie Pamela. Yeah, yeah. It's a very auntie name. Yeah. You know, she preferred to be called Pam Anderson at one stage, and it's like, when's Pam been the hottest person on the planet? Yeah. Pam.

Fucking hell. Peggy. Trying to think of other, like... I like Peggy. Peggy's all right. Still. You know, what's the, Enid? Enid.

Although Enid was, so Enid's a traditionally old, old school, yuck sort of name, out of fashion name. But then, that was, that was What's Her Name in Ghost World. Yes. Yeah. She was one of the best. What's the actress's name again? Ghost World? I'll look it up.

She was in American Beauty as well. Yeah. Are you on it? I'm trying. Okay. I'm trying. Yeah, that would be an interesting challenge if you're someone who who you're having a kid

and you it's just always been a thora birch thora birch right god damn it's always been a sticking point in your head like enid could be a hot name so you have a kid and you're so confident that it will be hot that you give it the name enid right because you're like i want this kid to grow up and be a model or an actress and finally make this name hot again. And then somewhere around the teen years you go, I don't think this has panned out. We've given birth to a four. It's not going to happen. It's not going to happen for Enid.

She's not bringing back the clout of that name anytime soon. I mean, look, good example. Thora Birch. If I heard someone's called Thora i'd be like oh damn yeah for like oh that that name's been so influenced to me by thora birch i'm like oh this is gonna be great thora is an interesting one though i don't think i've i've never heard of another person called that a female because it's also now you know the thor movies were so big that it's kind of got it's kind of got this weird association with that.

So I would be thinking like, man, this chick's going to come at me with a fucking big old hammer. I think Thor and Birch's parents were porn stars. Hell yeah. Yeah. I think that was the story. What a grubby edition of Talking Dumb Dumb. I know, isn't it? What's happened here?

I don't know. I don't know why we've gone down this alley. We've had a grubby edition of Talking Dum Dum. I know, isn't it? What's happened here? I don't know. I don't know why we've gone down this alley. We've had a grubby day. We just did a couple of bonuses that I guess people will have heard one of if they listen to this hot off the presses with Tom Ballard where we got a little grotty. Yeah, too many boys around each other. And then we had lunch with Kappa.

Literally grubby. A different type of grubby yeah um i can't it doesn't i can't confirm i can't confirm that they were porn stars i love this bit of fact right um her father's name is jack birch this guy is a real piece of work who could not keep out of his daughter's career. On the set of Winter of Frozen Dreams, Jack Birch was present when his then 26-year-old daughter was filming a sex scene opposite Dean Winters. Mr. Birch reportedly even gave the actor a thumbs up during the scene.

What website was this on? This is on the highly reputable thisgeeksworld.com I thought you were reading off Wikipedia and I love the idea that someone's entry starts with this guy is a real

piece of work. Yeah. Citation needed. The mother, mother's name is Carol Connors and she was an American

erotic actress. Whoa. No, that's code for? What? Being in pornos. Oh, she was in Deep Throat. Oh, wow. The classic porno.

You know what Deep Throat was, don't you? Yeah. The idea of Deep Throat. What happens in that movie? I don't really? Yeah. The idea of Deep Throat. What happens in that movie? I don't really know anything about the particulars of the movie. Do you know why it was called Deep Throat? Because of a lewd act that she performs in it? Yes.

I think the idea behind it was, though, that... Watergate spoof? Slash? No. Oh, yeah, i guess so um but she her i think her clitoris in the movie her clitoris was in her throat ah okay so that's why right yeah yeah pretty cool stuff now it's now i might be. I remember reading this in high school in some weird big old book they had in Maryborough High School Library. But I think Deep Throat 2, they reversed it so that the throat's ability was now in the

vagina. And so this woman had a singing vagina. So there's a clitoris in the throat. It was the singing nodules in the vagina. Just singing? Like, no speech. It has to sing everything. I'd have to look it up.

I bet you would. What a sexy story arc for a porno, though. I love the idea of your wife walking in on you tonight watching Deep Throat 2 and you going, Oh, no, no, it's not what it looks like. It's for research for a podcast that's already been recorded. I'm doing reverse research. I'm just trying to scratch an itch. Yeah.

I'm doing unsearch. Yeah. But thank you, Nora. Thanks, Nora. For letting us get there. All right. We got to start bagging up these hoodies because the day is quickly getting away from us. Yep.

Okay, all right. So let's just do one more. We'll do one more. Okay, let's hit the big red button one more time for the fifth one this week. Oh, wow. Okay, all right. Thank you to Patreon subscriber. Oh, okay

That's a That's a fourth one in a row That's a fourth girl in a row Oh no The fourth girl in a row Not N-word comedy No, it's in alphabetical order

Okay, right, right So don't worry Yeah, yeah So ahead and tell her, Nicky Nora Thank you to Patreon subscriber Sexy comedy Oh, right So now that That to me and Talia and Nikki Nora. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Sexy Comedy. Oh, right. See, now that to me

is an attractive name. That's an attractive name. That sounds like a stripper. Sounds like she's in porno. If someone said in a TV show, watch out, Sexy Comedy's about to be here soon, you'd be like,

oh, this will be good. I think that's the name of the exchange student in American Pie. Oh, is it really? Yeah, Sexy Comedy. Right, that's a Danish name or like, oh, this will be good. I think that's the name of the exchange student in American Pie. Oh, is it really? Yeah, Sexy Comedy. Right, that's a Danish name or a Swedish name, is it? Yeah.

Sexy Comedy. That does sound a bit European, I guess, at the very least. Scandinavian. Comedy. Sounds funny. Comedy does sound funny. Yeah, I wish it was. Sexy Comedy. Okay, all right I wish, yeah, I wish it was. Sexy, sexy comedy.

Okay, all right. Yeah, yeah. Well, wow, a record number of women this week. Yeah, I know. That's huge. That is a lot. That's more than a six. Sexy, I think.

Yeah. Sounds more attractive than a six, I think. What if you named your son sexy? Fucking hell. Yeah. Yeah, I wonder if you'd get looked into. Just writing on the birth certificate, they're like, you're going to need to come here and answer a few questions.

Whacking in there as a middle name. Yeah. Yep. Tommy Sexy Daslo. Don't mind it. It's pretty funny. Don't mind it. Imagine, like, you having to give out that information and people like being like, yeah, good one.

And you're like, it's real. Yeah. You're like, yeah, but like, oh, good one. You changed your name. No, my dad decided, my mum and dad decided. To call me sexy. To call me sexy. They wanted to, yeah, they wanted to really make sure I was going to have a great path

in life. Things just be easy for me. They really wanted like a good opening conversation. Yeah. have a great path in life. Things just be easy for me. They really wanted a good opening conversation and a social event. Yeah. They wanted a really easy way to meet people by just people coming up to other people randomly going, you've got to meet this guy. Go and ask him what his middle name is. Yeah.

Please. Sexy is my middle name. Fuck. Sexy is my middle name. All right. Well, thanks, Sexy Comedy. And thanks, everyone, for supporting the show on Patreon. Head to littledumbdumbclub.com for the new merch.

Links to the Patreon. Info about our live show that's coming up at the end of the year. Thanks for listening. And we'll see you next time. See you, mates.