The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 509 - Eddie Perfect & Joel Creasey

Episode Date: June 30, 2020

Fresh from New York we're joined by one of the original Friends Of The Show EDDIE PERFECT, and JOEL CREASEY! We discuss Eddie and Joel's wild night out in New York before diving into the glittering show business resume of both Joel AND his dad. We also give a serve to old people not knowing how to use iPhones, and there's a deep, deep dive into what makes the perfect muffin! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with guests Eddie Perfect and Joel Creasy. You can support the show on Patreon. If you enjoy it, you can get two bonus episodes a week at the moment. Head to littledumbdumbclub.com for info on all that, links to all the other stuff that we are doing, including new merch and what have you. We will be back to talk to you more at the end of this episode in our patented Talking Dumb Dumb segment. But until then, enjoy this new episode with Eddie Perfect and Joel Creasy. Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dum Dum Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us.

My name is Tommy Dasolo. And with me, as always, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day, Dugan. Let's welcome our guests in. We have Joel Creasy and Eddie Perfect. Oh, hello. Separated at birth. I know. Twins. Yeah. Well, it's been a long time since you've been on the show, Eddie. It's been years and

years. It has been. You're one of our earliest. It's your excuse. I've been away. I've been busy. Doing what? I've had some things going on. I've lived in New York for two years. It has been. You're one of our earliest. It's your excuse. I've been away. I've been busy. Doing what? I've had some things going on. I've lived in New York for two years.

I lived in Amsterdam for a few months. I had a good time. Yeah. So I've been around. A lot of traveling around, just kind of spreading yourself around the world. Spreading myself. In the last couple of years or so. Interesting.

Yeah. Bill Gates. Yeah, you're right. A couple of months in Beijing, I get it. Yeah. I have to find more creative ways to say no to doing this podcast. You have to travel more. That's what you need to do.

Get a new passport. Well, it's been years since you've been on, so I'll just get you up to date with what's been happening since you've been here with the two of us. I've gotten married. I've had a kid. I've organized three podcast festivals in Thailand. And Tommy, his mum doesn't pay his rent anymore.

Wow. Mine's actually more impressive. Congratulations, both of you. Thank you. That's a big step. Wow. I mean, I know New York. How's being a dad going?

You're asking the wrong guy. You heard about the three podcast festivals right? We'll put it this way Last night I Fuck I This is what I did last night My

The baby's gone crazy My wife's working from home Yeah So I was like You know what I'll take one for the team I'll go out and just sort of Go to the park for another

For the second time today Yeah So that was about four o'clock She was going to the gym at five So I was like i'll just i'll go out and give you a good run at your work for an hour good and i did that then came back just like one minute past five my wife's already gone to the gym then i realized oh it would have been nice to have brought my keys so then she's in the gym then for the next hour and then it's just me and my child my baby just sort of acting like sort of a like a well-off homeless person for an hour.

Wow. Just walking around Hawthorne just going, what's good to do in five-degree temperature when it's nearly dark but without actually going in anywhere? No wallet, no cash, so just hoping you can trade the baby to a locksmith. Yeah, yeah. It's open.

Yeah, yeah. Well well i mean imagine if you really did need like 50 cents to catch a bus yeah yeah because i was like you know i've got got a nice pram and you know i had you know the sort of nice-ish clothes on it was like i i just look like a well-off sort of a scheme artist or something yeah and i've like pinched someone's baby it's not like that thing of going, oh, I need 50 cents for a Buster Warner ball. It's like, I've got the baby. Like I've made the effort.

Like I'm a qualified con man at the very least. Yeah. So what'd you do? Just a few laps of the block? Just, oh God. Did you introduce yourself to the baby to get to know each other? Yeah, yeah.

We finally had some fun time. We're going to be working together. I was like, you've heard a lot about this thing called dad. Here it is. It's pretty good. Here it is. That extenuating circumstances have forced me into your life for an hour. I actually went to the biggest, biggest oval bit of field I can find in Hawthorne

where I can actually take her out of the pram and just let her run without me having to pay too much attention. Okay. Do a bit of scrolling, a bit of online internet trolling a few people that i haven't seen for a while yep um but then so i had the full hour then i made my way to the gym to so that my wife could like pick us up and then just as i got there she rings and goes where are you i'm like i'm at the gym she's like oh yeah I finished that half an hour ago I just did half a session and came home I've been fucking just just hanging around

letting a kid play in a gutter for half an hour when I came home yep Eddie your children are a lot older Eddie any advice for Carl as the kids get older?

you know don't get divorced that's bad right because this is the thing, though. When you have kids, and I can say this because I love my wife and I'm still with my wife and it's all great. But when we had little babies and you're up and you're tired

and the first baby we sterilized the bottle, the second one we're like, fuck it, just eat dirt. And the first one I'm like, what? If you take too long to sterilize the bottle and the baby starts crying and your wife starts yelling at you and you're like, shut up, I'm doing my best. I'm not going to do my best. It's four of you yelling at each other and you think, I hate you. I despise you and I know you despise me

and we're just seething with absolute rage for each other and that's love. You know, that's marriage and you've got to kind of get through that and know that you've got like excess in the bank that you go, I'm sure when I wake up, I will not despise this person as much as I do now. Right now, it's bad. I feel like when we fight, it's like,

you know, I know we've got like a young child and everything and you blame it on that. And it's like, then you go, fuck it. Our baby's actually been pretty good. I sort of feel like the baby should have acted up a bit more uh for us to be fighting but like and i get the impression that the arguing was there before the long before the baby came yeah yeah so you just have a baby to just have something to blame the arguing on this will this will help maybe i need to get a baby yeah you should get a baby yeah i should get a baby in here just to force that on how much I fucking hate myself.

I saw an old post from my wife the other day. It was like from ages ago. And she put a thing like, you know, one of those sort of mum posts where it's like, you know, dirty nappies, like late nights, three hours sleep. But, you know, it's all worth it for, you know, this beautiful baby and all the friends commenting, oh yeah, blah, blah, blah. It's like, come on. It sleeps 14 hours. Like our baby sleeps like a fucking dream.

She's just trying to get some love from her friends because everyone else is having a ton of a time with their kid. And we have nothing bad happening with our baby. It's a fucking dream. So any problems we have are completely on us. That's good. So your wife has gone full mummy Facebooking. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Was there a minion in this thing that she shared about play nights and everything? No, no, no, no, no. It was just short of that. Okay, all right. Mums rule Facebook. They control Facebook. Mums are powerful on Facebook. Mums are good on Facebook.

It's for them Yeah A lot of misinformation Yeah A lot of dodgy Blown out Like blurry JPEGs and stuff It's really

We now know It was always for them The unhappy middle aged men Are giving it a nudge though Oh yeah They like to get in there With a bit of outrage About things

My mum called me up The other day She goes How do I How do I get that black tile? I'd love to upload it. Oh. I was like, oh, mum, it's lovely that you want to do that,

but there are so many ways you can get the black tile. You can literally take a photo of your hand. You can take a photo of, like, you can screenshot someone else's black tile. It's very easy. Hang on, why is she got a black hand? No, if you push it down hard enough. Oh, right, right, right.

The camera. Yeah, yeah. No light comes through. Yeah. I got a black hand no if you push it down hard enough oh right the camera yeah no light comes through yeah I got a call the other day we have a day where the in-laws take over the

baby and when I got there she was like the mother-in-law was like can you sit down and sort of fix my phone for me

you're like I'm out of here this is my time yeah well don't worry I've always got somewhere to go and something very pressing i bet an appointment a lot of work yeah i'm doing and um so it's like okay i'll um

i'll do this no worries and i'm like fuck i'm no i'm no iphone expert but anyway i'll give it i'll give it a go and she was like yeah it's um it's not it's not ringing it's not ringing properly i'm like okay all right so what's the setting so i rang her phone it's not ringing, it's not ringing properly. I'm like, okay, all right, so what's the setting? So I rang her phone, it's not ringing. I'm like, okay, it's either the settings or you haven't got the switch flicked on the side, whatever. And then she goes, okay, yeah, I'll do that. And then, so I rang her phone and then two phones rang. And I'm like, I don't understand what's happening here.

And she's got them, I don't know whether they were new phones or I don't understand what's happening here. And she's got them... I don't know whether they were new phones or they were... I don't know how a phone made this much noise but they felt like they were louder than two phones together. So there was two different phones and they were both ringing.

Somehow she'd hooked two phones up to the same number. What the hell? I've never heard of this before. Is she a drug dealer? Yeah. I got genuinely scared. Like I felt like a fucking haunted house movie or something like that.

The killer's in the house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every phone in the house is ringing when you ring one number. Yeah. And I was like saying to these two 75-year-olds, what's happening here? I'm really struggling to find a reason in my brain why you would need to do that.

Not only why, but how you do it accidentally exactly without realizing you've done it it wasn't on purpose i'll just have phones lying around yeah and i might just be near one yeah yeah when it goes i'll put one in the car yeah when you put it like that it actually doesn't sound all that bad exactly you've got a phone in the in the lounge room you've got find in the dining room Like a landline Exactly You've got a phone In the lounge room You've got one in the bedroom It makes sense You're right

One out there on the balcony Yeah One in the car One next to the pool She's really onto something Yeah actually I fucked it I fucked it by helping them With that problem

That they didn't They thought was a problem Yeah can you get her around here To do it for me Yeah My phone's never not on silent Me too I can't

The thought of it ringing Why would you want A phone to ring? Yeah, exactly. My girlfriend's iPhone, like every time she takes a photo, the clicker sound still goes off. I'm always going, turn that off. And she insists that it's an old enough iPhone.

She's like, you just can't do it on these old models. And I'm like, surely that's not true. And she's like, try and do it then. Try and turn it off. And I haven't been able to turn it off we went on a holiday uh like a couple of weeks ago and she's like taking photos and stuff we're at hall's gap and it's just it's just mortifying because you're in a crowd and she's whipping out the iphone and it's in there and it's like oh it's like being out with someone's mom i hate this what kind of monster are you where

you would deny a person the satisfying sound of a camera shutter going off? What is wrong with you? This is such a boomer hallmark. Everyone turns around and goes, is that an 80-year-old woman? I love it. It's like everyone knows when it's over. Click. And that way you can't do the heaps where people are like.

Do the burst. Get a couple of good quality ones and get out of there. The clicker helps. What about the typing noise? If you've got the typing noise, you are a monster. Yeah, that's not, I'm not into that.

See, this is what I'm going to get. She can turn off the ring and she can turn off the typing. Those are off. It's just the taking the photo, that loud. And we're in the Grampians, so it's just like echoing

right across the fucking park. It's brutal. That's the thing, I don't like going into the whole boomer thing of like, you know, old people boomer. It's like, okay, look, my in-laws, they're 75.

The number one thing isn't like how iPhones work. Like you can give them that. You've got other stuff to worry about, whatever. I think they're busy trying to hold on to existing faculties instead of learning new stuff. You know what I mean? Right. It's a daily struggle to not shit your pants in public.

Yeah. So, of course, the iPhone tech is going to go out the window. And that's fair enough. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Exactly. So, it was all happening and I was like, fuck, this is just an interesting social experiment. I want to find out how this got like this.

How did you get two phones ringing at the same time? phones ringing at the same time and um so i said to the mom uh my mother-in-law i said now how old how old's this phone how's this phone and she's like oh that one's brand new my brand new as in like today or yesterday or whatever she's like yeah yesterday i'm like okay so this is they haven't found it this hadn't happened before right now they didn't know that this was the thing like okay so how why did you give both phones the same number and she's like no they're ones for me and ones for my husband i'm like yeah i understand that but they've both got the same number clearly and she's like well that seems a bit silly i'm like yes yes it is yeah that's what we're taking apart right yeah

she's like oh i don't know i don't know how that could have happened i'm like well let's retrace the steps what What happened? What happened when he bought that phone? She's like, oh, he didn't buy it. Wow, you really got into it. Yeah. Where were you born? Let's start there. I said, what?

He didn't buy it, so you bought it. Yeah, yeah, I bought it. So why did you give it your number? I didn't do that. What happened in the store? Well, he asked who I was and what my number was just as detail. And then I gave all of that to him. And then the phone got fixed and we were off to go.

I'm like, yeah, but what part of – at no stage did you give your husband's name or his phone number to the tech guy, right? I love the start of this story was you going, no, they're 75. You've got to go easy on them. And then now you're like, listen, you stupid bitch. Tell me what the guy at Vodafone said to you. This is like the weirdest episode of CSR Miami ever. So she's just given all of her details.

I'm like, don't you think at some stage he should have asked for your husband's number so that he could apply that to the phone? Yes. She's like, I just didn't come up at the time. She goes, all right, okay, I'm going to go back in up at the time. I'm like, she goes, oh, okay, I'm going to go back in and sort this out. I'm like,

do not go back in. Yeah. You've already done something I thought was fucking impossible to make this happen. Yeah, your phone gets pulled into it and then your phone's ringing

when people are calling your mother-in-law. It just keeps spreading. All of a sudden, people are ringing my phone thinking it's Lifeline. I'm like, fuck,

kill yourself, fuck off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that would be mortifying. It's like all the shit you've given me about mum paying my rent and then it'm like, fuck, kill yourself. Fuck off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be mortifying. It's like all the shit you've given me about mum paying my rent

and then it's like your phone is being paid for by your mother-in-law just through some technical hiccup from her going in. So the husband gets the second phone. Yes. So they're like, they just get called together. Even if they're apart, same number,

you're going to get one of us. Yeah. That's the most married shit I've ever heard. It really is. It's like a joint email. It's even worse than a joint email. I remember joint emails. I hate joint emails.

The problem is though, of course. Chrisandbevan at gmail.com. Fuck off. Joint Instagram accounts. Do you have joint Instagram accounts? Oh yeah. I've seen it on Facebook. I've never heard of that.

Really? And I go, who gets to check the DMs? Who gets to check the thirsty DMs? Oh, yeah. I know a lot of gay couples have. That could cause some tension if the thirsty DMs seem to be slanted in one person's favour. Yeah, you're the star of the show. Yeah.

Jealousy. Me and my partner. Yeah, do you have the joint, like, okay, you've got the joint Instagram accounts. Do you have a tally of who's getting their photo on the most? Or are you both in all the pictures all the time? Well, I always wanted this. I'm friends with those guys, the Stenmark twins, and they're male Australian models. Of course, I've gone out of my way to make friends with them.

But they're identical twins. So they both sometimes put individual photos up, even though their accounts are like the Stenmarks. Right. Oh, they can just share the workload, like the Olsen's when they were kids. Yeah, like the Logan brothers, or Big Brother. Are they like Instagram famous?

They're Instagram famous. How many followers have they got? Oh, they've got a couple of hundred thousand, but then I remember they were both on Dancing with the Stars, but obviously not together. But one of them got voted out way earlier. But you can't tell the difference between them. Right, yeah.

You're so offended if your identical twin model brother made it further in dancing with the stars yeah I want to separate Instagram accounts and then we'll see

go solo launch a solo twin career that's intense twin twin Instagram accounts that's full on

I met an insta-famous dog which one but just kind of like starting out meeting him level so how many followers Instagram accounts. It's full on. Yeah. I met an Insta-famous dog. Oh, yeah. Which one? But just kind of like starting out, like medium level. So how many followers is an intermediate?

Like a surprising amount. Like they just sort of started and they had about like 70,000. That's a really good system. Yeah. For a dog.

But there were like dogs with like a million, two million plus accounts. Yeah. And it's like the, and the woman was like, what was it? It was like a Cocker Spaniel. It was pretty cute. And they dress it up and she designs glides for it.

And she's like, oh, it's really stressful. It's actually quite stressful. It's time consuming. And you know, there's a lot of people, there's some nasty people out there. Yeah. You know, it's like fucking hell. So that's her job. That's what she does.

I'm really not down with the person who gets a dog and then straight away sets up the Instagram account for it day one of bringing it home it's like I reckon it's got to

prove itself on your page first you know you're going to be getting a lot of DMs like holy fuck this is an incredible dog and then you're like you know what

it's time for him to spin off and go solo Joey style no you're right Frasier wouldn't have existed by himself someone pitching Frasier without the backing Existed by himself Someone pitching Frasier Without the backing of Cheers

Exactly Because it's Especially when it's just like A run of the mill breed And you see someone Set up the tag and everything And it's like Come on

No one gives a fuck About this dog Yeah I must say My partner and I Do have an Instagram handle For our dog And we don't have a dog

Alright What's the handle She was coming We were going to call her girlfriend And she's a chow chow Hey girlfriend We got the handle Ciao girlfriend

She's Italian So you're just sitting on her at the moment? Yeah we're just sitting on her waiting Right Getting a few strategies in place Yeah And finding the dog Yeah

Gotta get the dog Get some stories sorted first Yeah My friends I dinner with Have a pug Whose siblings And finding the dog. Yeah, yeah. Got to get the dog. Get some stories sorted first. Yeah, yeah. My friends I had dinner with have a pug whose siblings, the pug's siblings are Insta-famous and they had to fight very hard and do interviews to get this dog. And now they've got it and their dog is not Insta-famous. Oh, no.

So it's... But they're like... They still have aspirations that it might be. So it's from the same litter as an existing Instagram famous. And I think it's the Bondi pug. I think it's called Bondi pug. And it's got like millions of years. And it's like their sibling.

It's hard to deal with. It's like a Minogue situation. Right. What about this? Now, your Twitter account got hacked, didn't it? Yeah. Didn't it get stolen off you? It got stolen.

Yeah, it got stolen. How does this work? How can you get your Twitter account just stolen like no, nothing happens off the back of that? Because... Because I was following... All of a sudden this person popped up in my feed. I'm like, why the fuck am I following someone this into computer games

that isn't that slow well i was like so thankful that it was just some kind of weird nerd and not like someone that just ran ranted all this racist stuff in my name which is a lot of crossover with those two things though to be fair yeah yeah well you know i was like that would be bad if someone misrepresents me i was really worried about that but um i started that twitter account so long ago with an email that expired when i left for america and so when it was all kicking off i was like oh i'll just go back into it and i couldn't because the email address didn't exist and then i had to like try and escalate it with twitter and they were fucking useless they did nothing they were like at the end they were like, sorry, there's nothing you can do. And then by the time

the guy had changed, I actually even got back into my old email address and the guy had changed the original email so I couldn't even get in anyway. Oh, that's so annoying. So I'm like,

it doesn't match. I'm like, no shit. So he was pretending to be you but tweeting about computer games or he just like changed the whole layer? No, he changed the whole thing because it was like some cool, he'd made some. Changed the whole layer. It was like some cool, he'd made some sort of computer game playing identity.

It was like, Wobbsy. And then it was just all this stuff about all these computer graphics and it was like, hey, I'm back everyone. Fresh takes on video games. I'm like,

why the fuck am I following this? Yeah. But I was like going, okay. Yeah, it was really weird. And then Detective was back on the case again. I was like, right, I'm going through who you're following, who's following you.

I'm like, this is someone I know that's been hacked. I can't figure out what's going on here. So I was just going through. I was like, guess who? I was trying to go through with 20 questions. It's like your child was running through a fucking puzzle. You didn't have a child that day then. It's like with the old abandoned train yards.

And you did eventually work out that it was Eddie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because the big clue was when a new account popped up called Eddie Perfect going, hey, I've got a new account. And I really didn't want to go back on Twitter because I fucking hate Twitter. It's so gross and it's like,

I've had some, it's just awful people come out of nowhere and just say awful things and you're like, I've had some, it's just awful people come out of nowhere and just say awful things. And you're like, I guess we have to have a presence there. And I guess it's useful. And it was sort of annoying losing, I don't know how many, over like 50,000 people that I could communicate with. Which is useful. And so that was a bit of a bummer.

But Jesus, now I hardly follow anyone. I'm like, I'm just in a corner on Twitter. I had my website taken by one of those pirates. You know,, I'm just in a corner on Twitter. I'm like, just get the game. I had my website taken by one of those pirate, you know, my website expired, joelcreasy.com and then they tried to sell it back to me

for like $10,000. Yes. So I went with.au instead. Yeah, yeah. I wanted to go.org because I thought it was.org. Yeah. .org.

.org. .org. .org. .org. .org. .org. .org. .org.

.org. .org. .org. .org. .org. .org. .org. .org.

.org. .org. .org. .org. .org. .org. .org. .org.

.org. .org. .org. .org. .org. .org. .org. .org.

.org. .org. .org. .org. .org. .org. .org. .org.

.org. .org. .org. .org. .org. .org. .org. .org.

.org. .org. .org. .org. .org. .org. .org. .org.

.org. .org. .org. .org..org. The same's happened to us. So you've let yours go, haven't you? I let mine lapse. And every now and then I go, fuck, I've got to look into getting that back. And it's just like, I don't know. Websites are the worst. Does anyone go to a website?

That's the other thing. It does seem largely quite inessential. Every time I've said to a manager, people don't go to a website, do they? My manager always says, yes, they do. And I've been like, how would you ever know? Yeah. I think this happened on the show years ago,

but I let mine lapse and then someone started selling fake Air Jordans on my domain, which is just so funny. And then what happened was then they started putting it for sale and they want to sell it back to you, except originally it was like $200 and now it's like 5050,000 or $100,000 or something. Because then, because I was talking about the domain,

a lot of our listeners were then going to it, which was driving up the traffic, which then drove up the price. Boy, this thing's a hot commodity. Yeah. A lot of people are buying fake Air Jordans at this place. So, yeah. You really snookered yourself.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cal Channel is the name in fake Air Jordans. So, yeah. So, you never want to back So you have more hits as a Fake Air Jordan site than you did as an artist webpage. Yeah, a lot of people trying to book these Fake Air Jordans for gigs. I don't know if we said this at the time, but it's sort of the perfect thing for you because it's like that's exactly the sort of thing

that you would find in Thailand. Yes. The home of the fake Nike. Well, now it might. So then I did the same as you. Then I went dot com dot au. Yeah. And then put all the links to different social medias down the bottom, including an icon

for fake Air Jordans. So if you're a hardcore fan, you still really do want to buy fake Air Jordans, you can go to my official website. You'll deliver. Yeah. You're respecting your roots. Yes. You're giving a shout out to the people who've come before you.

Yes. What are fake Nikes like? Are they good? No, they're terrible. Don't look at me. I go to Thailand twice a year. What do they like? What's a Nike?

How dare you? They're terrible. I did buy a pair in Thailand once and it's like, you know. That's the thing. They worry about the appearance and they get the appearance spot on. And then you put them on and you go this is half as good as a Dunlop volley

it's fucking terrible but they're lucky to put a fucking soul in them fake anything's going to be bad though that's the thing with the website

yeah I've kind of gone I better get off my ass and get mine fixed but then I realised all it would be would just be the like icons for all the different social medias

so it's like well you can just find if I'm just going it's like, well, you can just find, if I'm just going to redirect people to fucking Instagram, people can just find that easily enough. Yeah. It doesn't matter. I've been finding lately, I've been finishing Instagram. You know, when you watch everyone's Insta story and it's like, right,

you've all caught up. I'm like, I follow 750 people and I regularly am caught up. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, I'm not on social media. I fucking am. I keep pretending like I'm not. People are like, you missed my birthday. I'm like, oh, sorry, I'm not on social media. I fucking am. I keep pretending like I'm not. People are like, you missed my birthday. I'm like, oh, sorry, I'm not on social media.

No, I tracked it on InstaStory the entire day. What's your least, because I love talking about this, what's your least favourite version of someone's Instagram story? Like, what are the Instagram stories you hate? Too much big block writing. No, no, I need an image. You know, people that just do like, you know. Wrong format. Yeah. Oh much big block writing. No, no, I need an image. Yeah. People that just do like, you know.

Wrong format. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Long posts. So then you have to hold your finger down on the Insta story. Get a WordPress, you fucking clown. Yeah. Get a website, actually.

Get a website. I feel like you're holding up Instagram by having your thumb. It's just like, come on. Traffic's building up behind me. There's more Insta stories coming. I just want to read it. Just wait a minute. Oh, and also, I also don't like a food, I don't mind a food photo.

I feel like they've got a place on Instagram, but you can't have had half the meal and then put it up. Like I want the meal untouched. Yeah. Yeah. The moment's passed. Yeah. If you forgot, that's fine.

Yeah. But. Yeah, that's fine. But I don't want to see half eaten meal. Thanks. Yeah. That's about fine. Yeah, that's fine, but I don't want to see half eaten meal things. That's about it. No matter what it is, no matter what the content actually is,

getting onto someone's story and just seeing each of the little dashes, there's like a hundred of them. You're like, fuck me. Joel's on the project tonight. Me in the makeup chair, me getting ready. Joel was on the gala and a lot of people took photos of him and put it on Instagram. Or the reposts.

People who repost every shout-out that people give them on their birthday. Do you do that? No. Okay, good, good. From famous people or from anyone? Just from anyone. People just like all their friends who've gone, oh, this beautiful, lovely girl, it's her birthday today,

and then they've shared every single one of them that someone's tagged them in on their story. I think it's really bad. It's psycho. You buy someone a gift, like you buy someone a bunch of flowers, and they're like, thanks, at Joel Creasy for the flowers, and then you repost that. That's really... I've got lots of friends that do that. I want everyone to know that I did a good thing.

I bought you a gift, yeah. Yeah. I actually don't mind. You know, why else... Why get someone a gift? You want the credit. It's the big salad. You know, you else? Why get someone a gift? You want the credit. It's the big salad. You know, you want people to know that you did this good thing.

Yeah, or that you said something nice. People like having their niceness rebroadcast by the person they sent their niceness to. It's pretty pathetic when you think about it. Like, you know, that's what we're like. I went through a phase because I thought people would, everyone on Twitter loves to smash airlines and bad, you know, oh, my flight's delayed. Thanks, mama. Like the intern that runs the, you know, the smash airlines and bad, you know, oh my flight's delayed.

Like the intern that runs the, you know, the Qantas account can, you know, fix the flight times. So I went for about a couple of years, I would make, go out of my way to do a positive tweet about each flight I was on. Like, and on flight QF482 did a great coffee. Don't do that anymore.

Yeah, not lately. What about, Joel, you You Now you've spent time With Eddie in New York You've Yes Yes I went and saw Eddie Do a show

With Ali McGregor At the legendary It was Joe's Pub right It was at Joe's Pub Yeah Oh Woody Allen's hangout Interesting And I'd just been

I'd just He's in the news sometimes Isn't he Yeah Oh topical Topical I'd just been through a break up And Eddie dedicated a song to me I just... He's in the news sometimes, isn't he? Oh, topical, topical. I'd just been through a breakup and Eddie dedicated a song to me. Oh, nice.

Yeah. And then we all went to a nightclub called The Cock. The Cock. Yeah. And there was a guy who was wearing nothing but shoot runners and a leather harness. A leather harness and lots of nipple piercings. Yeah. Penis piercings.

Everything else was just out there. And the toilet was in the corner of the room. a leather harness a leather harness and lots of nipple piercings penis piercings everything else was just out there and the toilet was in the corner of the room there was just like one of those what are they called

the stand up toilet but in the actual bar and it was creepy as fuck no separate room there was a lot of leering I mean that's heaven not having to touch

a filthy doorknob on the way in there were plenty of filthy knobs but gosh we had a good night didn didn't we? Yeah, we did. We had a great time.

It must be nice. Imagine going to New York. Imagine going anywhere. Yeah. Imagine going to Broome. Yeah. That'd be good. You could go to Echuca.

Have you guys been to Echuca? I went to Echuca a fair bit when I was a little kid, yeah. My dad owned a pub in Echuca for a short time. Jesus, I wouldn't see that coming. Really? Yeah. What was it called? What was the pub called? Oh, fuck. short time. Jesus, I wouldn't see that coming. Really? Yeah. What was it called? What was the pub called?

Oh, fuck. I don't know. I never actually went to it. It was for a very short time. I think I'm sure I've talked about this on the show before, but my dad had a very old, and I've seen this happen a lot of times, but a partnership with mum where they would get a business

and then go, this is great. Now you run it to mum. You do all the work, basically. Oh, full on, really? Yeah, so it would be a bit like that. Your this is great. Now you run it to mum. You do all the work basically. Oh, full on, really? So it would be a bit like that. Your dad had done this more than once? Yes. So she's like, your mum's sensing a pattern?

Yeah. So I think that was the breaking point where he goes, oh, I've always wanted to own a pub in Echuca because he grew up there as a kid. And mum's like, cool, cool story, bro. So he just goes out and just comes back one day and goes, well, I did it. I bought the pub. I bought a pub. And she's like cool cool story bro and then so he just goes out and just comes back one day and goes well i did it i bought the pub i bought a pub and she's like what he goes yeah i bought the pub and she goes oh good luck with that and he's like goes to sort of start setting up and

well you'll you'll come and do it won't you and she's like i absolutely will not wow and so then he had to go off and go he just sort of just assumed she would come to do it at some stage. Oh, wow. What a power move. Yeah. So she stayed home. And like, you know, Meribah, where we're from, is like quite a drive to Echuca.

So then he had to go up there and like stay by himself and like run a pub every couple of days and like come back again. Yeah, what's that like a four hour drive or something? Living the dream. Yeah, yeah. And it fucking broke him. It broke him. He was like, oh, I can't do this anymore. And like lasted 400 miles? Living the dream. Yeah, yeah. Fuck. And it fucking broke him. It broke him. He was like, oh, I can't do this anymore.

And like lasted six months or something like that. But just sort of was like, yeah, but you'll come up and run at some stage. She's like, I'm fucking telling you, I'm not coming up there. Jesus. I've never been to a chica. What a boss. Am I missing out? It's a river city.

It's a, is it a border town? Would you call it a border? Do you like paddle steamers? I don't mind a paddle steamer. If you're that into them, you could deal with them every day. I like a vanilla slice. I don't think you're a river person. I think you're an ocean person.

I'm an ocean person. Carl, you're probably a river person. I don't think I am. I don't think I'm an ocean person. What is a river person and an ocean person? It's like being a cat person and a dog person. What's the difference? As an ocean person? He's like a cat person and a dog person. What's the difference? He's an ocean person.

Well, there are people that I feel like go on vacations in the ocean, and there are other people that go on vacations in rivers and lakes. There's like freshwater people and saltwater people. We'll put it this way. All right, what about this then? Maybe I am a river person because he's ties, he was attached to Echuca because there's a place there called Bower's Bend, which is my great great

grandfather he was the first one to run a paddle steamer down the Murray or something so they named a bend after him or whatever

weird flex yeah totally this is all I heard from you naming a bend you're going to have this fucked up corner

also naming Bower's Bend that could be a lot of things could have happened in that yeah that's a club that's got a toilet in the corner exactly sounds like the cock

maybe you want to take Eddie to the bend we'll go there we'll go to the bend that's all I fucking ever heard about when I was a kid oh Captain David Bower he fucking discovered he discovered that bend he went around the bend

he didn't discover the fucking the Murray he didn't discover paddle steamers he fucking discovered he discovered that bend he went around the bend he didn't discover the fucking the Murray he didn't discover paddle steamers he fucking just was the first one to take one out so that's your

that's your Vegemite yes family legacy hearing about it all the time you don't really give too much of a fuck about it one way or the other

we did a lot of family trips up there to see the bend or whatever I'm like oh fuck I'm eight years old give me a bit of Lego or something. Have you got any amazing

historical family stuff going on? Does he ever? Oh, your dad is a solo man. My dad was the solo man. What am I fucking talking about? You gotta keep in shape to be a solo man. Come to think of it, I'm definitely an ocean person. I'm a mountain person.

You're a fly person. Hang on, so for people at home, we're all over excited. Joel's dad definitely an ocean person. I'm a mountain person. You're a McFly person. I'm a McFly-zer. Hang on. So for people at home, we're all over excited. Joel's dad was the solo man in the 70s. Yes, in the 70s. The commercial's on YouTube because there's a few solo men. I think it's like the 74 one or the 76 one.

And then he's the one that runs up the hill with the blue heeler chasing him, as in the dog. Not John Wood. Not Lisa McCune. Although I'd run too. And then at the top of the mountain, he cracks a solo and it dribbles down his chin all homoerotic. That's Terry Crews.

Yes. Hot. That is fucking hot. Yeah. I love the solo man. Well, that's what you feel like after a long run, a sugary soft drink. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Never quiet enough. Soft drink companies love doing that. That's what you feel like after a long run, a sugary soft drink. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Light on the beers, you can slam it down hard. Soft drink companies love doing that. Athletic endurance and then just pounding a fucking Fanta at the end of it. It doesn't make any sense. I'm a solo fan, though. It's a good drink. It is a good drink.

It is a good drink. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a good one. And it is a good... That slogan does stick in my head every time. Like, I'll do something and then go, oh, yeah, it is light on the beers, so you can slam it down fast. That goes through my head. It it down fast that that goes through my head that goes through

my head a lot more yeah I drink solo faster protected in the knowledge yes that I gained from watching those apps yes is it really lower I've always thought that was just

bullshit I don't know I believe it it is I believe it I definitely have done it after running after working out and gone let's see if I can just do the whole can in one go

I want one now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do feel like a solo now. There's a 7-Eleven over there. Gotta crack a solo. Love that theme song. Yeah, solo man plus was in Empire Strikes Back. Empire Strikes Back.

But both my parents were in Star Wars Empire Strikes Back. You lived with solo man? Yeah. Yeah, but he is the solo man. He is the solo man. That's like his hand solo man. Well, so solo man. It's like he's Han Solo man. Well, so do you know Star Wars well? That was great.

I think I need to give that a bit more respect. That was great. I do know it, but which scene? Which scene were they in? When Princess Leia is briefing the snow speeder pilots, my dad's the one with the orange moustache. He looks kind of like a porn star. And he's very clearly in shot as Princess Leia's directing.

Yes. What to do. Out of knowledge of Star Wars, I think Joel might have hacked your Twitter, Eddie. We've unearthed the nerd. I'm happy. Does your dad have an action figure? No, he should do, though.

Because he's like an action... He does have a speaking part. Well, he was also the stunt double for Flash Gordon. Oh, wow. Yeah. He was like the long shot Flash does have a speaking voice. Well, he was also the stunt double for Flash Gordon. Oh, wow. Yeah. He was like the long shot Flash Gordon. Fuck, that's great. I know.

Show up his family. Yeah. It's cool. No offence. Can we get him on the show sometime? He would love it. But the thing we've been, we're 510 episodes in. The thing we've been focusing on all these years is he owns a McDonald's.

He owns a McDonald's store. He does? He's got a franchise? Yes, he does. He's got a McDonald's. He owns a McDonald's store. He does? He's got a franchise? Yes, he does. Which town? He's got a couple in WA. I've taken the boys. Yeah.

Oh, my God. We went and worked there for a year. Does he get on the tools? Oh, yeah. I make the best cheeseburger in town. That's what he always says. I'm like, well, it's very simple. I think it's pretty hard to fuck it up.

He makes the best cheeseburger in town. Yeah. I used to work in McCafe. Oh, nice. I was the McCafe manager. I was a nightmare. You're lucky you're of a generation where McCafe existed. For everyone else, it was just like,

I worked as a kitchen hand at Red Rooster on the Pingin Highway in Mentone. It was the worst fucking job I've ever had. It was awful. It was awful. Mentone's all right. You're on the beach there. Mentone was all right, but had. It was awful. Minton's alright. You're on the beach there. Minton was alright

but Red Rooster was not. Those highway adjacent fast food places. I love Red Rooster though for hangover. Yeah, me too. That rooster roll and dunk in some gravy

with a solo actually. Yeah. Quite nice. The Pen Highway is up there with highways so I quite like it. It's a good one. It's not a bad little scenic route.

It's a good one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not Barry's Bend or whatever it's called. Connect A to B. What more could you want on the highway? It's classic. It's classic stuff.

Yeah, yeah. But like you said, when I think of Nepean Highway, I just think of, I used to have a girlfriend down there and I'd drive up and down it all the time and go, oh man, there's a lot of fast food on the side of the road, a lot of things to look at, a bit of beach. Not a bad highway. I wrote a song about Nepean Highway

did you? yeah I did hit it I did okay no it was all like a song to Evan Nepean

who was the the guy that was oh is he your great great great grandfather or yes no no relative but that highway

is named after him because it ends at Nepean Point which is right at the end of Portsea at the end of the Merlinton Peninsula there's Nepean River, which is right at the end of Portsea, the end of the Merlinton Peninsula.

There's Nepean River. And he was like a civil servant. I don't know a huge amount about him, but I wrote a song about him and the Nepean Highway because that was like my lifeline to get the fuck out of Mentone and to get into Melbourne and to other places in the inner north and to kind of find my people.

So it's always weird going back. Even now, I got a Nippian highway and I always feel like I'm going back to Mentone. No offence, Mentone. But I think the same thing, Nippian, because I think of that first girlfriend that I went to see all the time. Paul Kelly song.

You'll see a girlfriend now in the Nippian highway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I think of the Frankston line the same way because that's the Frankston train line as well. Yeah. Which was sort of basically my first Melbourne train line. So I'd go that way all the time and go,

is this what all trains are like, this fucking Frankston train line? Yeah. Which is a bit... Well, I wrote a song called Frankston Line as well. I've written a lot. A song for every occasion. Well, I wrote all about Mentone.

Did you sing a song about my ex-girlfriend? Yes. Seems like you have good knowledge about my ex-girlfriend? Yes. Seems like you have good knowledge of my age, 20 to 22. Yeah. We're parallel lives. Fucking Chandler. Yeah. So, yeah, I wrote a whole show about Mentone,

growing up in Mentone and what it was like. And I wrote about the Frankston Line. I wrote about Plummer Road. It was kind of a weird suburban song cycle. Yeah. But Frankston Line was like a challenge can I put

every station from the city all the way to Frankston and weirdly Times Square wanted something about Beetlejuice

rather than Mentone I know when I had to find an agent in New York I had songs from the middle

that was that show about Mentone and then Shame on the Musical about an Australian cricketer they were the only things I had to from the middle, that was that show, about Mentone, and then Shame on the Musical about an Australian cricketer. They were the only things I had to give an agent, and they were like, I don't know what any of this means, but they still wanted to work with me, so that's nice. I thought of that in the way, actually, because you're probably, in Australian eyes,

you're best known for producing shows like Beetlejuice and then Shame on the Musical. It's like pretty similar main figures there, sort of like dodgy old sex pests. They can sort of do magic at the peak of their powers. Yeah, I really connect with those kind of characters. Who's next? Who's the next figure?

I want to do... I actually got offered a lot of money to write a Gina Reinhart musical at one point. Oh, I'd buy a ticket to that. It was quite a long while ago. I want to say it was like 10 years ago. It was by this kind of rich entrepreneur guy. He's like, here's a book, here's a biography on Gina Reinhart.

And I was like, this is going to be a legal minefield. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I didn't really have a take on it and I'd just done Shane Warner musical and that's why they were pitching it to me. But I was like, I don't want to do another person. But I did come up with a great title.

I was like, you could just call it mine. That's as far as I got. Hey, a lot of productions are put on with less behind them. So that's not so bad. Mine, the Gina Reinhart story. I've opened festival shows with less than that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're a late writer.

Yeah, yeah. Hey, Joel, we're talking a bit about your dad, but we've got to get into some of your showbiz exploits. Oh, yeah. Because this is something we realise that we've never talked to you about on the show before. It's relatively recent. So you were in Neighbours.

Oh, yeah. You had a role on Neighbours. Now can you tell us, what's your character's name on Neighbours? So my boyfriend's in Neighbours. His character's called Hayden Storm. Right? That's the hottest name. Yeah, so he's in Neighbours. His character's called Hayden Storm. He plays the hot Uber

driver on Ramsey Street. My character is called Mick Allthop. Not Nick. Mick. Right? Mick. And I'm not some cool Uber driver. I'm the gay stalker that comes to town. You don't look like a Mick. I don't look like a Mick. I think all Mick's start life at 40. A gay stalker comes to town?

A gay stalker comes to town. And I said, how many people did you audition for this role? And they said, we wrote it for you. Well, you don't look like a Mick. And also, no offence, you don't look like an Allsop. Well, that's I mean two things One

I mean I think it's very stereotypical That they go Okay we've got a gay stalker We'll get Joel Creasy Yeah It's up there with me Booking Eddie Perf For the show

Who's known for musical theatre And then going I wonder if we can get Joel Creasy To come in And talk with him Because you both studied in Perth That's the link That's the link

It's all connected But you know Now you know I don't. But you know that, I don't know if you know this, but so your name, your character name is Mick Alsop. Yes. Which we found endlessly fascinating.

Yeah. Because as, well, as Tommy Daslow is about, or as you thought was Tommy Daslow, his real name is, of course, if you want to read that out. Thomas H. Alsop.

That's it. That's his real name. Is that your real name? Yeah. Believe it or not, Tommy Daslow is the one with the made up name, Not Eddie Perfect. Thomas H. Allsop. That's it. That's his real name. Is that your real name? Believe it or not, Tommy Daslow is the one with the made-up name Not Eddie Perfect. Yeah. So Tommy Daslow is a stage name? Yeah, I'm pretending to be Italian.

I'm doing Dolmio Face. Fuck, I might use that. That's really funny. I'm going to write that down. I've got to kick tonight. Wait, I did not know That was a stage name Didn't you? No

Interesting It just proves You've never listened to this show Because I reckon We've brought it up 499 times Yeah you're such a comedy fan This is live right I don't even know what this is

What a weird coincidence Yours is different though Because I looked up On your Wikipedia Yours is You're one of these You're a 2L-er I'm a your Wikipedia. You're a 2L-er. I'm a 2L also.

Well, my first scene in Erinsborough, they don't show this but it's heavily implied. I stalk one of the other gays on Ramsey Street. Is it your boyfriend playing the other gay? Are you stalking your own boyfriend? No, my boyfriend gets to play a heterosexual role. He's got range. Oh, wow.

Hayden gets to pass Olympia forlympia as a straight man i don't know how i feel about this i don't know how i feel about one of these homosexuals coming and pretending to be exactly instead of him taking the role why can't one of me or tommy play this hot uber driver yeah we need more representation on television my first scene i'm in the backpackers lasseters and i point to one of the other guys and i go oi come here and then it's heavily implied representation on television. My first scene, I'm in the backpackers, Lasseters, and I point to one of the other gays and I go,

oi, come here. And then it's heavily implied that I give him a blowjob in the bathroom. What do you mean heavily implied? Well, we go into the bathroom together and there's a whole lot of noises.

Or maybe that's just how I interpreted the scene. Yeah. Wow, that was your first scene? Yeah. Wow. And I also thought it was rehearsal, but they move so fast to Neighbours, they're like, right, right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Wow, that was your first scene? Yeah. Wow. And I also thought it was rehearsal, but they move so fast to Neighbours, they're like, right, that's a wrap, let's move on to the next scene.

Oh, yeah. I was like, wow. Jesus. Because they are cheap and cheerful, aren't they? Yeah. They've just got to get it going. It's so nice. I was really thinking I'd get some good gossip Neighbours and I'd get some stand-up out of

it. Everyone was really nice. Oh. Yeah. So you're still in the mix. You've been, your character's come back. Oh, yeah, it pops in and out. So is it not killed off or anything So you're still in the mix. Your character's come back. Oh, yeah. Pops in and out.

Is it not killed off or anything? You're still in the mix. No. I last appeared on their Mardi Gras special. Mick Allsop was on Oxford Street stalking Courtney Act. Oh, still was stalking. Yeah. Does he have any normal dealings with anyone?

No, he's a real stalky type of guy. Never introduced himself to anyone? No. Just stalking. And he always appears in the back of scenes like a panto. Oh, that's great. I don't like the family name being pulled into this kind of... sullied with this kind of behaviour.

I'm so sorry. I'll have to see if they can write me into a cooler storyline. Do you get any neighbours' heads asking you to conventions? Are there neighbours' conventions or anything like that? Oh, I'd love that. I think there are still in the UK. Right. In the UK, I'm obsessed with it.

I was working with a UK playwright who was writing a book to a musical I was doing. And every time he saw me, he would just go, Oh, I can't believe that, you know, Ron at Lasseter's did this. And I was like, man, I haven't watched Neighbours for so long. I think I slept with Ron, yeah. He was completely up to date with it,

loved it, obsessed with it all of his life. My friends love it. They're like, can you tell us what's coming up on the show? I don't read all the scripts.

That's great. I just see where I have to stalk. Yeah, yeah. So you're still stalking. You're still out there stalking. You don't even read your own scripts. You just look at someone else's script because you're stalking that

yeah totally is it the kind of thing where if like you really nail it and the audience really liked you they'll find a way

to legitimise your stalking and bring you into the fold and if they don't you just go to court and go to jail yeah they just kill me off yeah

because it only exists because of the English popularity doesn't it because it's on a satellite channel now it's on 10 Peach or whatever it is. Yeah. It's on Friends and Seinfeld.

Yeah, it's on before five episodes of Friends, which, fuck, I've never watched Friends before. And now, under lockdown or whatever we're doing, isolation, I'm watching it every night. Oh, really? I'm sort of starting to get into it, weirdly. Oh, God, I did not expect you to say that. I didn't mean to bring up the fact that you've given yourself the Rachel in the last three months you're such a Chandler you are

you really are yeah is that why you've never watched it did you hate the fact that the funny guy like one of the main characters has yours

no no I just hadn't come across it really like I just I'm just not a big one for those sort of shows I hate sitcoms

hate them really hate them hate canned those sort of shows. I hate sitcoms. Hate them. Really? Hate them. Hate canned laughter. Seinfeld? Oh, I hate it. Hate it. What?

Also hate cartoons. Can't stand. Cannot stand. There's been no sitcoms that you like? No, like, I wouldn't call it a sitcom.

I don't, or like, no, I like those sort of shows. Like 30 Rock I really love. Will and Grace? No, I didn't like, I couldn't stand Will and Grace.

Everybody Loves Raymond? Oh, yuck, no. So the canned laughter, just you're out. I'm out sort of shows. Like 30 Rock I really love. Will and Grace? No, I couldn't stand Will and Grace. Everybody Loves Raymond? Oh, yuck, no. So the canned laughter, just you're out. I'm out. Instantly. Natural, organic laughter. Right, right. Yeah.

I mean, I'd be on one in a heartbeat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If Mike and Molly wanted you, you'd be there in a flash. I was going to say, two years ago, I would have guessed, I would have said, do you like Neighbours? Fuck that. Fuck it. Yeah.

Second, there's some money involved. Do you think it's within the realm of possibility for you and I, Carl, to be in the background of an ep of Neighbours doing a live podcast? I was thinking that. If you ever had a podcasting storyline, you'd have to think we'd be in it. Yeah, the Erinsborough Podcast Festival. They would totally do that. I love that podcasts are so much your life, that when you think about going on Neighbours, you think about doing a podcast festival and we can they would totally do that I love that podcasts are so much your life

that when you think about going on Neighbours you think about doing a podcast there that is amazing hey I'll play a gay stalker if they want but I'm just trying to think

about something more realistic we can't get the gay stalker we can't get the hot Uber driver we need to use what we've got exactly it's not how showbiz works it's not me

that's undervaluing me it's the industry you with your little zoom box and four SM58s. Get a little earpiece in. Okay, let's go podcast. Trying to get an interview with Dr. Carl.

Yeah, right, dickheads. I could see it. It kind of feels like one of those things that we could put out into the world. We just need some sort of nerdy neighbor's writer to get into it. Because like we said, it's all quick. They've got to just churn it out. If we can just pitch an idea where... What's Stefan Dennis' character?

Paul Robinson. Paul Robinson starts up an evil podcast or something. Maybe we can get... An evil podcast. Okay, right. It's just exclusively about evil stuff. He's giving out evil tips or whatever the fuck. Even just wearing the background.

Yeah. Or just doing an interview with someone. Yeah, totally. But that's our context. If they do that up, then it's not out of the question for us to get proper podcasters in the background. Yeah.

And you want proper backstory for your character as well. I went on a bit of a Lou Carpenter deep dive the other day. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Just because we went to buy a car, because that's our role. We went to buy a car at like Mazda, Max Kerwin Mazda in Essendon.

Oh, nice place. No, Preston. I don't know. Not too bad for them. Somewhere horrible. And we had this guy, finance guy there called Lou. Yep.

No. Lou? Yeah, Lou. And I reminded him of Lou Carpenter. I was like, what happened to that guy? So me and Lucy are like Wikipedia-ing him. Yep. No. Lou? Yeah. Lou. And it reminded us of Lou Carpenter. I was like, what happened to that guy? So me and Lucy are like Wikipedia-ing him.

Yeah. And then it kind of got into his dynamic that we had with Harold Bishop and then that led me to watching a like Sunrise type breakfast TV thing

where the guy who plays Harold Bishop whose name I can't remember. Please forgive me. I love him. He's amazing. He was being interviewed. He just quit Neighbours.

Yeah, yeah. And they were asking him how it's been. Yeah. And he was like, I can't get any work. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I feel like I overestimated maybe my market value a little bit. Yeah.

That people would see me as something other than Harold Bishop, but they don't. Yeah, yeah. And they're like, so do you feel like you made a mistake? And he goes, a little bit. Yes, a little. And I was like, it was so heartbreaking. And I was like, I want to give him a job. I just want to put him

in a play or something. Put him in mine. He could play Gina. He thought he was going full Kylie Minogue and absolutely did not Yeah Maybe he'll have to Move to the bay Have to move to Summer Bay

That's the other option Yeah It was a pretty cute story You need to do it The other way around You need to have the cloud And you know Millsy style

Where he's already Millsy Yeah And then he's doing Some shit on Neighbours Millsy style To answer slightly Millsy Doing it Millsy style

I saw it I saw it I love that Really Millsy's death on Neighbours Is one of One of the great TV deaths Yeah yeah Do it like Milsy. Do it a Milsy style. I love that. Really? Milsy's death on Neighbours is one of the great TV deaths. It's so good. What's that?

Milsy's character dying on Neighbours. Oh, what did he die of? He's digging a grave because he plans to kill someone else. And then he trips, passes out, and is like collapsed in the grave. And then meanwhile, there's a hose that's been left running and this grave that he's dug is just slowly

filling up with water while he's passed out and he drowns in a grave that he's digging for someone wow that's amazing a couple of podcasters

off to the side commentating being in the background one thing but then if we can also be killed off in the same episode from the background

that's it you just see an arrow come through the window impale us in the skull. Just the equipment just malfunctioning. We're just dodging smoke.

Isn't the Maxim Revenge digs two graves? He should have dug two graves. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Idiot. Well,

this answers part of your question. You're going down your Lou Carpenter hole. When we went to, when we, last year, at the third and final

Coastal Mooring International Podcast Festival that we manage. Holy smoke. You're just like, we're just like Thailand. I want to go to Thailand. Yes. Yes.

That's a real thing, by the way. Everyone on this show knows about it. Tony Robbins the shit out of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We made it happen. So, last year when we went, there's a couple of elephant farms there where they have rescued elephants.

Right. And you go there and... Ride them. No, no. I'm joking. Well, there are some dodgy ones. There are some dodgy ones. So these are the real deal.

There are some really... I thought they were mostly dodgy, but... Yeah, no, this is the real deal, this one. It's a good one because the hard thing is even some of the ones that are purporting to be good ones are in fact dodgy. You really have to do your homework. It's a carabaskin. Straight up, yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, because we went there and I was sort of thinking, oh, you know, we've got a little bit of internet clout. Maybe we can be sort of minor celebrities that then promote this farm. But then I checked their social media and it's like literally all, every two days they've got some fucked up reality star from England, someone from, what are they called over there? What are those big reality shows in England called? The ones where they're all like.

Oh, Love Island. Yeah, Love Island where they're all orange and stuff. Towie. Oh, the only way is Essex. Yes, all that. You've got them fuckheads in there fucking every two days. Oh, yeah, for sure. Gemma Collins and all that. Yeah, yeah, fuckheads in there fucking every two days. Oh, yeah, for sure. Gemma Collins and all that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're there all the time. It's like a bachelor date or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All that stuff. Go ride the elephants. Yeah. And they're just getting ridden by bachelors all the time.

Imagine that from all over the world. That's like dystopian. Just these old elephants with these tangerine sort of stains down the side. That's a good sketch it's like the reality show where they're going on a date to what they think is one of the good elephants

but it's a dodgy one and it's just like some beautiful girl being forced to like saw off a tusk but it's like super dodgy farm runner you hit him

you hit him you hit him hard so we went to the farm and so we were excited about that and we get there and and to start with, you have to sit there and watch the instructional video. Right.

Lou Carpenter. Oh. Teaching you how not to punch elephants and fucking shove bananas up their ass or whatever. It's like just him going, just keep it down. Don't, don't. Don't do anything stupid. So that's what he's doing now.

That's what he's doing now. Lou, Lou Carpenter. Yeah, yeah. Didn't find that on your deep dive, did you? I don't know if he was playing Lou Carpenter in the instructional video. It was just him as whatever his real name is. Yeah. Did we talk about this at the time, about how they were telling us that they,

so the elephants are allowed to kind of like roam free during the day and then they do kind of lock them up, not lock them up, but they keep them secured at night. And they said on our tour, they used to let them just kind of lock them up, but they keep them secured at night. And they said on our tour, they used to let them just kind of roam around the park and do what they wanted at night. But then one of them just went for a walk down the street and where did it go?

To the local 7-Eleven. The guys at the 7-Eleven call up and go, one of your elephants is down here coming for some fucking smokes and solo. I love it. That's sick. Made me love that elephant. Yeah. Yeah. Now, yeah. That's sick. Made me love that elephant. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, now, interesting that he's a 7-Eleven guy rather than a Family Mart guy as well. Yeah, exactly. Just like, middle of the night, God, I'd love some Ben and Jerry's right now. It's such an amazing place. 7-Eleven and Family Mart are the two competing places.

Yes. But this is the thing that I always, I feel like, we've probably talked about this before because we have talked about Thailand quite a bit, but it just blows me away that that's the cheap place to go in Thailand what

you know to buy anything oh right yeah 7-11 is the last place you go to buy anything over there it's the first place

you go right the cheapest place to go oh really it's like just a weird thing where like if Harrod

started up here and it's like yeah fucking 50 cents a sandwich you're not going to have a Thomas Dux. You've got this all wrong. The David Jones food court. There's a new one of those down in South.

I know. I love it. I know. I went there yesterday because you know why? That's where I go for lunch when I work at the project. I'm not working at the project anymore because I work for them, but at home. You've got to work from home. But I still crave that David Jones food court lunch,

so I drive to the project every day for lunch. Long lunches in the Chandler household. What do you get? What are you ordering? I get generally... Here's the killer thing. Burger rings. One eclair.

You're not far off 250 grams of smoked salmon and a roll and I just they've got these remarkable muffins now

talk to me about muffins what I don't get what I don't like about Australian muffins is they're very dry now when I go to when I've been going to England

big bacon battery too yeah this is what they do they're all they're dry I don't know what they do they're all they're dry I don't know what the fuck they're doing

but in England last couple of times we went to England they've got the thing where if you get like a choc chip muffin the chocolate in the middle

is gooey Australia doesn't have that has never had the gooey muffin never had a gooey centre for a muffin I think I reckon

muffin break do no no they don't no they don't shut up Joel like I've been to a muffin break don't. Oh, okay, no. No, they don't. Shut up, Joel. Like I've been to a Muffin Break? Don't talk back to the skit.

I'm sure they do. I love your confidence. I know. They make so many. I'm sure they make so many. Muffin Break company. Mate, get your soft drink info off your dad and shut up, all right? This is the shit I know about. Okay, sorry, sorry.

I know chocolate mousse and I know chocolate muffins. Oh, here we go, okay. What shit I know about? Okay, sorry, sorry. I know chocolate mousse and I know chocolate muffins. Oh, here we go. Okay. Yeah, so that's

good, cheaply priced mousse, chocolate mousse at David Jones Food Court as well. But the substance inside a muffin, it's all gooey,

it's all super fresh. Kind of fondant type situation. Yeah, and I've never seen that anywhere else in Australia in a muffin in a normal retail shop instead of like,

it's not homemade or anything like that. You should get into baking because you're so particular about what you like in your sweets. The ultimate thing for you would just be finding out roughly what those recipes are. Just make them at home to your heart's content. But here's the thing. Here's the slightly smart thing about me

because a lot of people say, oh, I love comedy so much, I'll get into it. Yeah, you like it. You're no good at it. No, but I mean you're particular about it. It's like you want it done a certain way and you're frustrated by not being able to have easy access. Well, if I could go professional at enjoying muffins, then I would do that.

But I just don't want to make them. I don't know how to do them. I don't want to do them. But I do want them right. Yeah, exactly. If I could be a quality controller of muffins or something like that. But that's worse because then you're having to sit through quality controllers. You're going to have to eat so many bad ones.

But then I get to yell at people for doing stuff wrong, which is also in my wheelhouse. This is the ultimate. Imagine you rocking up from muffin control and you're like, guys, I have no fucking idea

how to do this, but there needs to be like gooey chocolate in the middle. What the fuck? Do it. Make that happen. Hurry up. I'd love to have all the stores

getting nervous before Kyle from muffinuffin Control comes in it'd be just like open mic comedy are the centres gooey are the centres gooey fuck it's gonna kill us crank up the goo-o-meter

you're just breaking them open one by one what's this what's this absolutely it's bullshit do it again just try it on

just get a hat made that says Muffin Control and just start turning up to like bakeries and places like David Jones and just be like yeah here says Muffin Control and just start turning up to bakeries and places like David Jones and just be like, yeah, here for Muffin Control. And the person behind the counter, they're going to shit themselves because they're going to be like,

well, the boss didn't tell me about this, but it must just be something that I haven't been made privy to. So you know what happens. So we've been in isolation for three or four months or whatever it is. So I was in a big habit of... Well, some of us longer. So anyway, so me working the project over the road to David Jones Food Court. So I was in a big habit of... Well, some of us longer. So, anyway. So, me working the project,

over the road to David Jones Food Court. So every day I would go over and get a sandwich and get the... Too much. I'd literally get a sandwich or two then I'd get a couple of muffins. Because, like I said, I only want it in Australia. You've got to make the most of it.

We'll all be dead one day. Get as many muffins as you can. You don't want that hanging over your head, do you? Exactly. You don got to make the most of it. We'll all be dead one day. Get as many muffins as you can. You don't want that hanging over your head, do you? Exactly. You don't want that on the deathbed. No. Surprised you didn't go up there when you locked yourself out of the house the other day. Yes.

Sprinting with the pram up to the David Jones. I've got an hour. You fucking amateur. That was at five o'clock. They're gone by 11.30. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got to be quick. You've got to make your sandwich choice right. Yeah, you've got to go early. Right. You've got to go quick. You've got to make your sandwich choice. Right, okay.

Yeah, you've got to go early. Right. They go early. So this is what I've been doing while in lockdown. I've been going out of my way and saying to my wife, I've got to go out for lunch, and I've got to go and chase a muffin that's seven kilometres from our house. Yep.

So then I go there, and I went there a bunch of times in a row, and they're gone. And I've got that respect where I go, they're great muffins. Like I said, they're one-off muffins in Australia. They should be gone. Fair play to anyone that's got them before me.

So you should, I'd be more annoyed if they sat there and no one else but me bought them. You can't talk about this in public though because that's going to be even harder for you to get them. You've put, you're advertising the word. And imagine it's the same people

that are getting them. Like, it might be like a group, like a Facebook group. Yes. Yes. Appreciation society. So this is what was happening. This is what was happening.

I was going there and it was like, by the time I could get out of the house, it might be one o'clock and I go there and there's no muffins. Don't even try. And I'm begrudgingly getting a sandwich going. I don't even feel like a sandwich. Have you ever thought about calling ahead? Ask them to reserve it for you?

I definitely have. Like in the old days with DVD rentals, I just come out, I want to make sure I can get it on Saturday night. I definitely have, but I thought that might be weird. Yeah, it's a douche move. Because some people would go, put the muffin aside for me, and then they don't turn up. Exactly.

And someone that's like a dedicated muffin chaser. And they're holding onto a muffin at like four o'clock, and it's like, that's going to be stupid. Yeah, that's going to be stupid if I was them I would say no so I didn't

try that so I'd be gone at 1 o'clock they'd go on I'd go full respect whatever so I'd sort of creep earlier and earlier

to go there and get it and I started going there at like 11am just lining up out the front like in Star Wars episode 1

isn't that sad when you wait outside a store that's not open yet with other people? Oh, yeah. Waiting for your iPhone. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, the iPhone's something good. This is muffins. So, I'm there at 11.

I'm consistently there at 11 now, and I can't get any muffins there. Still gone by 11. That's where I'm going. Jesus Christ. All right, the respect's out the window. This is fucking Mick Allsop. I'm stalking the muffins there. Still gone by 11. That's where I'm going. Jesus Christ. All right, the respect's out the window. This is, they're being, this is fucking Mick Alsop.

Stalking the muffins. The muffin stalker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I'm getting jack of this. I'm going, fuck, and I feel like I can't ring a head.

So, I just sort of like, start kicking off in the store. I'm like, here we go. There's no surprises here. We're Karen. We're Karen.

We're Karen. I want to see the manager. You are, you are such a Karen you really do Karen from Muffins what did you say what's the male Karen it's probably Carl so you went

have you got any muffins and I'm like oh sorry darling we're sold out again and you were like you kicked off this is great it's your fault

that I wasn't here in time to get the muffins I go is there any chance you're actually going to have any muffins here at any stage this is textbook chandelier. I've been going for weeks and weeks and weeks and there's been nothing.

And I'm like, fuck it. I'm right on the verge of like, I think I'd given up for a week. I got really mad. I'm like, fuck the muffins. And then after a week, I'm like, nah, I fucking want those muffins. I come back. Again, still nothing there. And I'm like, they're just not making them anymore.

This is what's happened. I don't know why. They're not making something. Why have you got rid of the muffins? I getting muffins all the time and i've got muffins fucking months and they go and they just look at me and go you know we moved them don't you oh my god oh my god and i'm like where where'd you put them and she's like there and they were right in front of me they're on the counter oh me. They're on the counter. Oh my God. They're on the front counter. Oh my God. You loser.

But this is the thing. This is horrible. You fucking loser. They'd been there the whole time. So I'm in there buying sandwiches I didn't even want. And the muffins were fucking right under my face. Yeah. Right under my whole face.

They probably moved them there for your convenience as well. I'd love to put you in a maze. You know what I mean? Just watch. Yeah, muffin at one end, sandwich at the other. Where's it going to end up? You'd be furious.

You'd kick off. And to be fair, it's a better system now. I will put my hand up now because they know what they're doing. They've got it under glass now so they're keeping

the muffins even fresher. Even gooier. Even gooier, yes. There's no chance for the arid Australian wind to like blow in there and like dry the muffin out or anything like that.

So it is a good system. But for anyone listening at home, do not go in before me and get these fucking muffins. You've got to start stockpiling now. You've got to go in and just get... Yeah, I'm going in first thing

tomorrow morning now. You've done it. Everyone's going to be in there now. Honestly. It's going to be like your website. Honestly, I've had plenty of three muffin days. You've got to do a test. You've got to get a big bulk order, put a couple in the freezer,

and then just to test, see what they're like if you reheat them. So you can go in and just absolutely load up the canvas bag. Yeah, yeah, that's not bad. I think, I don't know, I think the most I've ever seen in there is like five or six. So I think I'd have to do a week's worth to really stock up and get maybe 30, 35 muffins. I'll pop by next time I'm down there. Yeah, nice.

I'll grab some for you, yeah. That'd be great if I was working the project and everyone went, does anyone want anything? And me going, yes, six muffins. Everyone that walks out the door has to come get six muffins you know what I want yeah yeah yeah if you could just

get me every single last remaining muffin that you can store cheers Wally yeah is anyone doing a muffin run yeah yeah

fuck that'd be great everyone that goes for coffee that day I just ask them to get me a muffin and I just come back with a backpack full of muffins

that day that'd be sweet how much does a muffin set you back see they're not super cheap. I think there's a game you wouldn't expect. They're $5. $5.

Oh, that's all right. That's all right. They're not those huge, big sort of mushroom ones. They're sort of compact. They're about that big, I reckon. Right. Yeah, but you're talking about, you know, you've got the gooeyness.

That's a whole separate realm of ingredients. That's what's pushing it up. Yeah, yeah, no, totally. And it's David Jones, you know, I respect him. I get it. It's prime location. It's on the corner of ingredients. That's what's pushing it up. Yeah, yeah. No, totally. It's David Jones. You know, I respect him. I get it. It's prime location. It's on the corner of Chapel and Church.

I think five is pretty good. Five is not bad. 550 would be annoying because you're starting to eat into your tenner there. And you're like, you're getting change. Well, the annoying thing is that they've now gone cashless, which I'm very much against. So I've got to take the car. What?

You're against cashless? Yeah, I'm a big cash man. I don't know if you've noticed. What, are you going to billfold? Do you lick your fingers and count out? I don't know if you've noticed. There you go. Love boys.

I'm something nice. I don't know if you've noticed this about myself, but I'm a Greek nonner. Yeah. So I love getting the cash out. Thanks for taking time out of hosing down the driveway to do this podcast today, by the way. No problem at all.

You just go to the bank and get a bit of cash out every now and then? No, just, I mean, a bit of an old school under the mattress sort of a trick. So, you know, when I'm going to get a muffin, I want to get rid of a little bit of a wedge of, you know, like if I got 40 muffins one day, that'd be a nice little, you know, like if I got 40 muffins one day, that'd be a nice little wedge out of the mattress. So you're doing a couple of favours at once. You're talking about this like it's money laundering,

but it's just literally you paying for a muffin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's just say we call it this thing of ours. Buying a muffin. You're making this sound so much dodgier than it actually is. Yeah, I know. Well, this is what I, actually, I'll bring this up now. I just keep thinking,

you're literally saying you stuff cash in your mattress so that you can use it to buy muffins. Well, not for that. I can buy many things. You're like anti-bank or something? No, no, it's just, you know,

like sometimes you just come across this stuff in your line of work and you're like, you don't want to put it in the bank. Yeah, you don't want that to be accounted for. No.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, let's leave it at that. line of work and you're like you don't want to put it in the bank you don't want that to be accounted for no yeah yeah let's leave it at that that was great that's how you get paid on Broadway isn't it yeah they come out

little envelope full of 20s yeah when Beetlejuice debuted on Broadway and they said they wrote you one of those

big monster shacks you're like if you can just put it in 50s they do they give you this a big you know one of those big monster checks you're like if you can just put it in 50s yeah well they do they give you

this like daily allowance that's part of the contract so whenever I went to New York it was like I mean it wasn't

a huge amount of money but it was like no it was something like 80 or 100 bucks US a day they would give you so if you're there for two weeks

they just hand you this fucking wad of cash and you'd be like yeah and you'd be like yeah and you're working like almost 24 hours a day so this isn't a no time

to spend it so at the end of it I would just like furiously try and buy Lucy some kind of gift that was very expensive that she always hated always

straight to M&M world bought her a Michael Kors handbag and she like oh didn't like it she gave that to the op shop I think oh wow

yeah right fine for whoever's come across that yeah yeah handbag and she like didn't like it. She gave that to the op shop I think. Wow. Right. Fine for whoever's come across that. Yeah. So you know I've got no taste but I've got a lot

of money. That's all you've got to do. I like a bit of walking around money. I love that term. Walking around money. Yeah.

A bit of walking around money. Walking around. What does that mean? Just like a money do. Yeah. Yeah.

What's the official term? What's it called like when you per diem. Yeah. Oh walking around what does that mean just like a money dude yeah yeah what do you what's it called like when you yeah oh walking around money yeah you're walking around money you know i'll walk past david jones i'll see him after yeah a couple of 20s in the pocket exactly exactly so this so before we were talking about this a while back at the start of sort of isolation whatever was like i'm i'm a big cash man so any chance I can do to use cash I'll use it

and then once this whole you know this little incident kicked into the world it's a bit more like people don't want to accept cash anymore

you know so that's David Jones' perfect example and that stopped you in your tracks didn't it it did a little bit no it didn't well

a little bit hey I could have got rid of about a grand at the fucking muffin shop, but I couldn't do that. I've got it. There's just too much evidence I eat a lot of muffins now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all on my fucking bank statements.

But you did tell a story on this at the start of ISO that you were getting into altercations in shops going, no, you're taking it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just taking the cash. Oh, my God, you are such a cat. Yeah, yeah. But this is what I did on top of all that.

So this is, this takes the- Does your wife know your daily spending activities? No, and again, people- She doesn't even get an app. My wife got an app where she looks at everything we've spent out of that joint account. Really? It's everything, all the, like everything. And I was like, oh, so she's like, you're spending a lot of money on wine

and you have to have that conversation and you're like... I'm in showbiz. That's all we know about that. Sofo Neal told us the other day that his wife can trace where he is and rang him up one day and went, are you in the McDonald's drive-thru right now?

On Find My Phone, yeah. Because she'd also been looking through the credit card statements. He told this on a bonus episode. It was basically... She goes, what are all these transactions at mcdonald's and he was like i was just in there getting a drink she's like it's for 8.95 yeah well i had to go through private school didn't i thank you dave so so when this all went down i was like all right so some places are not in you know not taking the Chandler Cash,

which is infuriating me. Chandler Cash. Chandler Cash is the worst. This is what money is. This is the purest form of money, and you won't take it. You'd rather take a car than... It'd drive me fucking crazy. But I'm still trying to get...

The biggest victim of COVID-19. It's just another thing that represents value. It doesn't matter. The thing itself doesn't matter. Yes, yes. Well well so i went when we go into lockdown whatever you're kind of thinking you know at the start of all this you're starting to think man how long are we going to be down for how long till things get back to normal and you know everyone's starting to go well maybe i'll learn the guitar you know people are uh envisioning envisioning themselves yeah yeah but i guess the overriding thing is like you know you're going

to be down for a while so you've got a lot of time to do a certain thing so that's what people's aims were guitar or you know learn a different

language or whatever it is right what about you meditation anger management yeah yeah not so much peace love and

understanding muffinology muffinology trying to work on my muffin got my degree so then I this COVID literally

has been a muffin break for you yeah not taking cash I was just trying to enforce a muffin break on me so then I was like

alright this is here's an idea if we're going to be inside for months and months this is maybe what I'll do and I've got a couple of friends that started to get their teeth fixed or whatever through those, what do you call it?

Not online, but some of these companies you can send away and they'll make a plaque. They'll make a model of your teeth, a model of mould, and you're basically doing it. It's not braces, but it's doing the same job as braces. Invisalign? There's companies like that. There's Smile World or whatever the fuck it's called.

Something like that. There's a bunch of those sort of companies. And I was like, you know what? Maybe I'll do that. Maybe that's a good little project that I'll have. Not that it's much of a project. You just sit there with your mouth closed.

I didn't know that you could do that online. Yes. That you could just send away and do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You totally can. But once I looked them up I was like well a friend of ours

a friend of the show got it done and I won't mention the company or the name of the friend because he got it for free and was sponsored and I didn't get

get jack shit out of it so I'm not fucking giving any details so yeah so I went I talked to him about it

I was like oh is it any good he goes yeah it's good don't get this other version because one of the companies is like literally like you make the mould of your own teeth at home send it away

and they send you back something and no one checks you for two years and so after two years it's like why are all your teeth upside down oh yeah we made a mistake

at the factory we gave you the other wrong person's mould yeah yeah so no dentists actually a lot of room for error here yeah that's not good I didn't actually talk to you

at all about it so anyway I didn't actually talk to you at all about it so anyway I didn't do that I went to the good one or whatever and so when I thought you know what if I'm going to be down for six months I might as well have all this junk over my teeth and fix them up or whatever

so I go great so I go in there and they go cool here's the invoice it's this much money and it's quite a bit because it's like an involved process

and you've got to get you know models made and all this much money and it's quite a bit because it's like an involved process and you've got to get models made and all that sort of stuff. It's quite a bit. It's all one lump sum. I go, cool. And I go, yep, no worries. Cash?

Is that cool? And I pulled it out and they go, ha ha ha. And I go, no, I've got it here. And just gave them this wedge of like,

like this. It was like a big, thick ass fucking wedge. They must have known this was coming when they saw you walk in with the sack with the dollar sign on it flung over your shoulder. Like emptied out the mattress, like pulled it all out and go,

there you go, what do you think about that? And they go, okay. And they took it. And I'm like, how the fuck is David Jones not taking five bucks from a mother? But a dental company. Your wife must have been like the princess and the pea that night. It's a bit of a flat asleep tonight.

This is unbelievable. How come I'm not sleeping downhill anymore? Clearing up my scoliosis, that's for sure. Meanwhile, the dentist has shoved it all in his mattress. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He doesn't know what to do with it. The cycle continues. Yeah, so they took the cash

but you could see them just go fuck at the moment we can't be fussy it was literally like one of the

first days they were allowed to do it again and some idiot comes in with a sack of cash and is like yeah you could

be the last one we get and so you did that all the hot teeth stuff how did it go it doesn't work in two

weeks it's been two weeks no it's like what's it been now three months or something like two months it takes a while though doesn't it in two weeks. It's only been two weeks. No, it's like, what's it been now? Three months or something like that. Two months, I think. It takes a while though, doesn't it?

Yeah, it's like a long term. A year or more than a year or something like that. Unless you find out that they've given you the wrong one. Well, now I'm a little bit worried. Yeah, I dare say this is the equivalent of spitting in the food. It's like, yeah, let's give this guy some fucking a reptile mould yeah yeah

give him some nice little fangs yeah yeah it's weird though because they send you someone I talk to they go oh they send you out

a new thing every week because basically how it works is they just give you a slightly tighter little mould every week and it just moves

your teeth that's how they're just squeezing your teeth like a fucking boa constrictor which I believe is the technical term in dentistry

but yeah so they do that and then I've talked to people like oh they send you out things every week or every couple weeks

not with me they just I don't know whether it was because I paid cash but they just gave me a box fucking like this of like just

you know all of the models all at once oh so you've got like two years worth of teeth now? Yeah, they're just sitting in my bathroom right now. So they can't be bothered sending them? Yeah, yeah.

So they're just all sitting in my bathroom right now. That's weird. It's terrible because then my baby comes in and just fucking starts playing with them and walking around with fucking... Their daddy's teeth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Knowing you and your approach to keys and everything else, I'm looking forward to you losing the one that's free to eight months' time

and just having to just skip ahead to the next one. Scale back. Teeth just like. They'll get in there. They'll get in there. A little bit snug. Do my teeth look fat in this? A girdle for your mouth.

I can't believe this is a theme. Yeah. It's a full-on theme. Wow. But I feel better about it because like I said I looked up the you know

I was looking up everything and going oh this one seems good you don't even have to go in anywhere you can just do it all online and then all the

reviews were this is about as fucked as you think it is like you just took a picture of your teeth and sent it somewhere and they

sent back a bit of clay and you put it in your mouth for two years yeah it didn't fucking work well we better wrap it up for another week

on the little dum-dum club Joel and Eddie thank you so much for joining us oh pleasure things that you would like to plug oh I'm so flat out

at the moment I've got a lot coming up we didn't even get to talk about this but of course Joel's appearing on last one laughing on Amazon. Yeah, give that a plug.

Yeah, I'm already off. We're obsessed. I think I can admit that. Spoilers. I'm not allowed to say that. I was the first one out. Yeah, but you were sitting there. The last episode we saw,

you were sitting on the couch next to Rebel Wilson. Yes, I got to hang out with Rebel. Yeah, I missed all the shenanigans in the room. Thank God. How'd you go with Rebel? Did you get along?

Yeah, fine. Yeah, I've known Rebel for a while she's awesome yeah get along with everyone else in the house did you

fuck no I cannot stand comedians what was I thinking but we watched episode one and two with a bunch of

comedian friends because we were we were being obsessed with the idea of the show and we heard some let's say bad stories about what happened

on the set and we wanted to see if any of them crept through to the on screen and a few highlights of the episodes that we watched and one of them was definitely you not being happy about being in there the whole time and then you getting you getting voted out and on the opening the door and then going this is the best fucking moment of my life. I was also tanked. Because we were

allowed to drink in there but no one, everyone else took it very seriously. You and Cody were drinking. Me and Cody

were drinking. I was just mixing Nick drinks because that would distract me from laughing at everyone.

A few froth. Yeah, a few froth, froth, frothies. Because I saw someone get out a bottle of rosé and I was

like, that's the perfect wine. Yeah, that was me. I started with the rosé. Yeah. And then I made margaritas

and I can't remember what else I made but not a lot of jokes and if you had done something if anyone does something that's like horrifying

or they really don't want it to go out there do they have any control over the edit well yeah because it's not live yeah they just ring up Jeff Bezos

and go cunt can you take this out yeah so that bit where I yeah took a shit on the dying table Yeah, they just ring up Jeff Bezos and go, cunt, can you take this out? Yeah, so that bit where I took a shit on the dying table, can we not put that in? Well, yeah, I was glad I was only in there for an hour because I didn't get into that real desperation.

You didn't get into the shitting in you. It gets really weird. And the last episode I saw, I think it's the last one that's out at the moment. Spoilers, Tommy. Tommy, close your ears. We haven't watched this one yet. I'm not going to spoil anything, but she broke out a new character,

and it was really enjoyable. She's amazing. She was so great. It really suited her. She was so funny. Yeah. I'm sure this isn't legal, but we're planning on going out somewhere and putting it on a projection screen

with a lot of other comics this weekend and I'm pretty sure this is one of those things where you know at the start of movies they used to have

that sort of thing where they'd say you're not allowed to show this in pubs or oil rigs or anything like that. I think we're

about to watch it at an oil rig. I think that's what we're about to do. A prison. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm so glad I'm

not on it anymore so you judgmental fuckers can't make fun of me. I'm not even judging. I on it anymore. It's like, you judgmental fuckers. Don't make fun of me. No, but we were loving it. I'm not even judging. I legitimately love it. My girlfriend's really into it.

Really? It's great, yeah. It's very funny. It's very funny. There's definitely bits that you can shit on, but we were laughing a lot as well. That's what I've been really enjoying, like laughing at how good and how bad it is.

Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot. Oh, there was a lot of bad. It reminds me of my 20s when I would just be like coming down off drugs on a Sunday morning hanging out with my mates

doing just totally random stuff. It feels really druggy to me. Right, right. That's actually how it felt being there. Like everyone's kind of lost their mind. They've been on a band around it's all just kind of coming apart. Yeah.

But no one really wants to like shut anyone down it was very messy in there I couldn't deal with that oh that was a bit gross yeah it's got messy and smelly

and I was desperately trying to clean up behind everyone I know what you mean though it's big like 5am energy like kick ons at your house

where you just everyone fuck off please I did find it slightly funny the idea of Joel you being trapped

in a room with like 10 comedians or whatever for a whole day or whatever it was, where it's like, I've seen you at gigs. You won't step into a room before every comedian's out of there. I'll be like, you're on stage at 10 o'clock. You rock up at 9.59. Am I on yet? What the fuck's going on?

Who's this? What's the MC? I did want everyone to wear name tags. And what do you do? Oh, you're a comic. I can think of a thing that would have made it a worse experience, Joel. You finish it, you step out of that room, and then finally the paycheck comes.

Thank God at least I'm being paid well for this. Oh, they paid me in cash. Fuck me. Nightmare. Why's Chandler running this? You paid me in cash. Yes. Nightmare.

Why is Chandler running this? And Eddie, you've got a series that you've recently made, Love in Lockdown. Oh, yeah. That was like four days of my life with the lovely Lucy Durack. I've just gotten back to Australia. Yeah, she's great. And she was like, I've written with Robin Butler kind of a web series rom-com.

They're like five-minute episodes, and I'm like, great. That's about how long my attention span is right now. And we shot them ourselves. You know, Wayne Hope directed and sent us out this kind of rig to shoot ourselves with, and we sort of filmed it on the phone to each other and also, you know, shooting was kind of complicated, but we sort of filmed it on the phone to each other and also you know shooting it was kind of complicated but we got a good role on and it was like a super sweet thing to make and

i did very little i just acted and it was great to do any of the organizing or the writing or anything and that was super fun but apart from that i'm just like um uh trying to move back to melbourne and it's really weird because you've been two and a half years away and, you know, thinking about, oh, you know, it'd be great to be back in Melbourne and all of the reasons why it's good to be in Melbourne and none of those, well, not many of those reasons exist at the moment.

One of the first things that happens is, come and do our podcast. Oh, fuck, get me back to New York. No, but that's nice, you know. You know, they don't have these podcasts in New York. They're very serious in New York, you know, like full on. Talking about beef. Oh, no, just like, yeah, just very intense.

Lovely people, very earnest. They're not spending half an hour on a gooey muffin. So, yeah. Well, follow Eddie on Twitter. He's really into Ms. Pac-Man at the moment. Yeah. I might. Sounds's really into Ms. Pac-Man at the moment. I might. Sounds right up my alley.

All right, guys. Thanks very much for listening, and we'll see you next time. See you, mate. See you, mate. And they've done it again. I agree, Tommy. They did. They did do it again.

I think Bernie kicked a big one big one yep that's the two catchphrases yep that's both of them out of the way the end um how many do you reckon we could eventually get up to for this segment will we cap it will we ever go that's two but that's enough are we on the are we on the lookout for a new one yet? I don't reckon. I reckon two for the one segment is arguably too many. Yeah. As it is. At the moment. I'm fine with two.

I'm fine with still exploring the possibilities of those two things. Bernie's still pretty recent. Yeah, it's still pretty raw. Yeah. A little while until we'll be looking for greener pastures. Yep. Yep. I agree.

Yes. Fun ep. Fun little ep thing I notice about eps like that is like we're sort of like an episode like that to me is us sort of

it's like us driving around a city and we're sort of going oh yeah yeah that looks alright and whatever and then and then it sort of gets to the bit

you know towards the end where we're sort of basically just talking about ourselves and then we're like fuck we've hit it now here it now this is our top gear right here we go we've found an open road yeah but good stuff great to see eddie again yes on a uh on a professional podcast level and also just a personal him being one of our friends level i mean even before he moved uh we hadn't had him on for quite some time. I remember we were trying to do something with him when he was judging Australia's Got Talent.

I think we wanted to have him. We were trying to, but we could never quite get it to happen for whatever reason. And then I think he moved not long after that. Oh, fuck. That's so long. Yeah, you're right because, yeah, I mean, I think we were vaguely going to talk to him about my experiences

hypothetically on that show I think that was a that was the thing wasn't it I think so I think it was just a funny angle that someone that we knew it's you know interesting to talk about

but it but I think it never we can never quite get it to line up and then and then he left not long after that so yeah

that's so long ago that we've had him on I think yeah that's ages well that yeah he was last on, I think. Yeah, that's ages. Well, yeah, he was last on, we were talking about this before we did the show, but he came and did one

at my house two houses ago. Yes. So, a very long time ago. And also, I mean, if you go way back in the archives,

you can find this out yourself, but the first time we had him on, back in those days, he'd listen to this show. I don't know why, but he used to actually listen to the show. Yeah. I think he's on like episode five or something

stupid like that. It was an early one. Really early. So he was a listener. Very clearly he doesn't listen anymore, which is sad. Yeah. Maybe he enjoyed doing this and he's like, you know what, I've got to get back onto these guys. I think we're doing okay. We don't need him. Back then, he was a quarter of our listeners. But yeah, now we're doing okay. We're okay. Maybe we can get him on Samui next time.

Yeah. Well, what? Wait, what? What? Nothing. No one can lead the country, Tommy. We can't do anything like that. No, fun app.

Joel, good to see Joel. One thing we didn't bring up with joel that i meant to was yeah last time we saw joel was um on the last day before everything went to fucking shit he was on the the live adelaide episode yes yeah that was a we had a nice little memory there of him and fiona and tom ballard and then the shit hit the fan overnight. That beautiful little moment in Adelaide shared and then we went to Brisbane and then everyone shit their pants and that was the end of it all.

I am glad that that was the beginning of my coronavirus experience. There was something quite weird and thrilling about travelling around the country on a weekend where it was all being away in one place would have been enough, but like literally going on this jaunt and seeing the tide turn and then coming back to the, into this very uncertain climate was, um,

was yeah, pretty, uh, pretty insane. Yes. A nice little, um, uh,

Corona tour. Yeah. And we got to have a little, uh, send off on that weekend. I think we both could tell Like oh fuck Everything's about to be fucked

Yeah Let's go to the Garden of Unearthly Delights And get absolutely Sideways Yeah Yeah it was fun It was a fun little

I mean Hopefully it's all back Sooner rather than later It's not looking like that Particularly But anyway Certainly Not in the

Great state of Victoria Yeah There's some big Breaking news In the process of us Recording that episode Which put a bit of A dark cloud over us but anyway certainly not in the great state of Victoria yeah there's some big breaking news in the process of us recording that episode which put a bit

of a dark cloud over us finishing and then getting on our phones and going ah fuck yeah me literally

talking about oh all these comedians are going to get together and watch Laugh Out Loud and whatever it's called Last One Laughing

Last One Laughing whatever it's called and then we get on the phones oh yeah things are in lockdown for certain suburbs where certain comedians live in. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, well. Not in my one because I live in a cool suburb. Yeah, me too. But things that are not locked down is Patreon. Patreon is still open to anyone who wants to come visit. Someone wants to go to the gym quick. Yeah, they really, really do. Been closed for four fucking months and frothing on getting there every day that I possibly can.

I went there today, not to your one, to my one. Patreon.com slash LittleDumbDumbClub is where you can support the show. You can get bonus content every week. We're sending out two episodes a week at the moment with guests and doing some really, really good ones. People really loving getting those. So get in there and get yourself some bonus little episodes. Also, while we're at it,

we didn't mention it last, maybe last couple of weeks, is the new merch. Of course, we've got the Talking Dumb Dumb hoodies and t-shirts that are out there that are currently,

well, I had to sort of resort them and find room in the house after they were dominating my wife's workspace at home. So, yeah, every time I sell one, it fucking feels good because it's like, well, there's one little, you know, a couple of square inches out of the house and a little bit more room. Yeah, you can move around a bit more freely.

Yeah. I can stretch out. I can, you know, the baby's got somewhere to play all of a sudden rather than me just putting her in a box full of t-shirts. Yep. Have you thought about keeping them under the mattress? Oh, well. Let's catch under there.

Now, yeah, now there's a little bit more room. Yeah, so get onto that. Of course, that's the Talking Dumb Dumb hoodies. We're running out of certain sizes in the hoodies and the shirts. There won't be any reorders. So this is the best time to get onto it and make sure you get your size. We're running very low in certain sizes

and we're out in some sizes in the bigger boy sizes we are completely out so getting quick for if you want some XL some 2XLs they're running very low so if ISO hasn't

treated you so well you might need to get some of that bullshit happening so get onto that please littledumbdumbclub.com yes.au you can never remember and yeah you can find the archives there You might need to get some of that bullshit happening. So get onto that, please. LittleDumbDumbClub.com. Yes. Dot au? No, just dot com.

You can never remember. And yeah, you can find the archives there. And yeah, the links to all the other stuff that we have going on, including the Patreon. The Patreon, of course. Like you said, lots of bonus episodes going out there. A lot of people happy with that. Joining our exclusive Little Dumb Dumb Club millionaire group as well. We get to talk to you guys in that group as well as the normal garden variety. People aware of the Little Dumb Dumb Club Facebook group as well. We get to talk to you guys in that group as well as the normal garden variety.

People are aware of the little Dumb Dumb Club Facebook group if you want to get onto that. But get onto all the socials. We try and put stuff up every day. It's a bit of fun. But of course, the jewel in the crown is getting your name read out as part of the big thank you to everyone

that chimes in with a bit of cashola every week. Of course, as part of the money goes to the unplanned title alternator licensing. We have that technology every week. I've got it updated every week to get all the latest bits of technology coming down the pipeline to make it an even better and more fluid service every week in reading out these names. I love fluid service. So, look, it's better every week technology only gets better doesn't it so yeah every week this is a smoother and

smoother process i remember when we first started doing this and the episodes were like five hours long we were barely getting um you know four names out yeah these days we we days, we do nearly a quarter more than that. So, yeah, yeah. It's certainly gotten better over the years, the good people at the UTA doing a fine job and are worth the $2,000 a week. I think at non-peak speeds, we managed to get 100 names a minute.

Right. Which is really good, really good speed. That is big. Fibre to the building. That is big. They call that. That is, on my internet my internet's better now it's uh my internet when i was dealing with the rush well you know i was waiting for it to happen for them to bring it to my street and so now i've got

it and yours is like insane like insanely fast internet whereas mine's like caveman and i i tested it the other day it's like when we finally got the nbn tested it's like it's now it's only twice as good as it was before now twice as good as anything sounds good but when it's twice as good as really a dog shit yeah yeah that's only two dog shit like if you get a one out of ten rating yeah and then you double that score well guess Yeah. That's much of a muchness. Yeah. It's nearly like you've got one dead body in your room. Well, now you've got two.

Yeah. It's not that good. No. So, yeah, it's slightly better, but it's still pretty shit-ass, which is why we mostly record at your house. So, the UTA needs a better hookup than that. Yeah, exactly. Not even using Wi-Fi for it, just jacking it straight into the port.

Yeah, sticking it right into the TV and just hoping that does something. Yeah. Okay, well, let's kick this off. Let's fire it up. We won't go too long tonight because you've got to go and do your crunches. Yeah, I've got to... You've got to work on that little fanny of yours. The pythons are going out for dinner.

Yeah, right. What are you going to work on tonight, you reckon? It's resistance on Tuesdays and Thursdays. So you're not going? Weight's work. Oh, okay. Yeah, no, I go out the front and they try and pull me in. Right.

No! No! And then Matt builds up my core. Just like arms like both on either edge of the doorway. Just no! That would be a good workout for everyone involved. Trying to be dragged in. Yeah.

Trying to drag someone in. So they put, I mean, you can't really do it now in COVID. But yeah, two people assigned to me to drag me into the building. Me having to stay outside the building. Yeah. And whoever, if they get to the end of an hour and they've kept me out, they get that class for free. And if I manage to, no, if I've stayed out, I get the class for free if they get me in.

Right. I get the class for free. Yeah, see, I mean, you know, you watch boxing and stuff like that and people run out of fitness like in the 10th, you know, 6th, 10th round, whatever. That sort of stuff,

that's the most fitness. Like, you can go in there and lift barbells and whatever. Who gives a fuck? But you do a bit of one-on-one fighting. Yeah. That's the fucking shit. That's the stuff.

Yeah, yeah. Mental dexterity as well. Yeah. Needing to outwit an opponent, not just holding onto a rubber band and pulling it. I love the idea of outwitting someone trying to drag you into a gym. Yeah. Yeah, well, you know, I'd go to ground. You know, I'd have a whole bunch of people.

I'd grapple. I might go prone, military style. Okay. Bit of UFC Gracie family style. Bit of get them on the ground. Yeah, that makes sense. Okay, well, let's crack on because I want you to be as fit as you possibly can. Well, hey, you know, you're the one that spends a lot of time looking at me,

so it's in your best interest. Exactly. What do I care? Exactly. I can't see myself. I don't want to look at this like some fucking big blubbering piece of shit over there. Piece of shit.

Yeah. Some fat cunt. I want a bit of eye candy while I'm doing this podcast. Yeah. In my little maid outfit. Yeah. Constantly just dusting around you.

Constantly. Why are you dusting the floor like behind you so often? I don't know. Anyway, hey, I'm not complaining. I'm just asking.

All right, let's kick off. Let's kick off with however many we're going to do this week. Hit the big red button. Boom. It's even redder this week

after updating, which is a fucking, man, great little function. It's looking like a baboon's rectum at the moment. Yep, and that's all you can ask for.

Thank you to Patreon subscriber. Our first cap off the rank this week. It is Brett Poole. Brett Poole? P-O-O-L. Poole. Brett Poole.

Brett Poole. What's out there? Yeah, Brett. Yeah. I mean, no, Poole. A Poole. A Poole, yes. Yep.

This man's name is Brett Poole. I like it. Yeah. I really don't mind it at all. Yeah, it's not normal. No. But there's something to it. It's out of the ordinary.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wonder if he's... Because he said this is phonetically similar to the comic book slash movie character Deadpool. Oh, yeah. I'm sure there's been sort of a bit of Photoshop work of like doing his name in the style of that logo. And then putting his face onto the character. Although the character wears a mask, but you know, you can still have a bit of creative license there. That's what I call soup.

Breadpool. Breadpool. Put a bit of bread in there. It's like a pool. Yeah, it's a bit of a swim in there. Not bad. Yep. Crouton.

Not bad at all. But breadpool, that's slightly... Where is your fucking soup? Inside joke for about three people. I don't think, one of whom listens to this. Oh, we can say it.

There was a very funny thing the other day where certain people were drunk and Danny McGinley was wearing a hat. It was like a flat cap is the style.

Milan, friend of the show Milan Said What did he say? He said Nice hat Where's your fucking soup? Yeah

So the idea Several things here The idea that the hat Is inherently linked To enjoying soup Yes No connection there whatsoever Very funny

He's just invented that Yep And I do like Because I agree with him Did I miss this? Because I got there a bit late Did I miss Was he He was considering Ordering soup off off the menu at the pub that we were at?

No. No, that was just an invented thing as well. Yeah. Milan was kind of alluding to that. I figured that's what had happened. Yeah, people kept talking about soup and I'm not sure why. I think someone else, I don't know why that came up, but the idea of ordering soup came up and Milan and someone else maybe got very angry.

I'm with it. Ordering soup at a pub, at a restaurant? Yeah. And now people would say like, does Pho, does ramen fall into that? No. Not at a pub. Well, not at a pub. But I mean, going out to have soup, never understood it.

Just a straight up soup, a Western style soup. Don't get it. Do you know how there's like certain foods that you'll always have like certain memories of like the best palmer you ever had or the best pizza you whatever i remember going out one night in funnily enough new york in eddie perfect town um and it being like a restaurant where you had to order two two courses like two a two-course meal for $40 or whatever it was. Right. And one of them was, you know, you pick your own. You didn't have to. Well, that was the deal.

Hey, this restaurant's got a two-course minimum. Well, no, but it was. It was like that. To get the deal, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it wasn't like if you're sitting down, you have to have. Yeah, yeah. I think, anyway, who cares?

But I do like the idea that it's like a comedy club. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got a two-course minimum in here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, especially if you could get entree and dessert, that would be good. But I do like the idea that it's like a comedy club. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got a two-course minimum in here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, especially if you could get entree and dessert, that would be good. But you can't. You've got to get the main and dessert or main. Yeah, just get some calamari and then a...

Yeah, and ice cream. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, mix them together. And I'm generally a sweet tooth, so I'm generally onto the desserts. But I remember getting the entree and the main and just getting this French onion soup and me just blowing my mind and I'm forever chasing that soup. That French onion?

Yeah. Okay. I'm not even sure. I'm not sure the difference is between French onion and onion soup maybe, if there's a difference. But that fucking soup, I've been chasing it ever since.

Have you done much looking though? Yeah, I've ordered plenty of like french onion and onion soup at places and it's just never been anywhere you don't see it all that often no it is a very american dish that's why i do grab it when i do see it but and i know that this is a real real diss to the restaurant but have you would you consider maybe trying like a canned alternative because maybe it's just the flavor of it that you like. Maybe it's got nothing to do with this particular place's, you know,

maybe even if you just had a Campbell's can of it, you'd be like, you know what? This is just as good. It's just the flavour I like. It's not what they were doing to it.

But you see, I have had it at other restaurants since and it hasn't been that good. Okay, right. So it's not like that's the only time I've ever had it.

Right. I've had it plenty of times after and just gone. And I think the reason I'm still chasing it is because the chasm between the quality of that soup and every other soup I've had since is starting to make me think, did I dream that other soup? Because why was that a 10 and every other soup has been a four and a half? It's frustrating.

It's frustrating when you cut. And at a certain point you accept, I'm never going to have anything that's exactly the same. But even just being in the ballpark would be fine. You know, you start to really, like, lower your criteria. Yeah. And even then, you're still not able to get close to that. Well, like, you've just had a little weekend away in Halls Gap. Mm-hmm.

Up in the, what was it? Is it the northwest? The Grampians region of Victoria. Is it the northwest of the state? Is that where it is? It is the... In the west, at least. Is that where it is? It is the... In the west at least. Yes.

It's not towards Adelaide. It's towards South Australia, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. I think it's kind of going the long way around towards Adelaide. Well, that's the thing. When I was a kid, I went to... I think our first big trip away at school was the Halls Gap Camp. Yep.

So you went away for a week or something like that and you know you get your the first time i'd been away properly from home for a couple more than a day and you know you get served up your your meals every night and we had this moose and it literally started my fascination with with moose that was the day that started it right day zero yeah and it was i hope i've never talked about this before but it was we got the soup and i remember just i can still picture myself there eating this moose at fucking age seven and just not knowing it was going to completely change my life for the next 35 years. But just going, fuck, this is amazing.

And some other people around the campfire or whatever were going, yeah, this is really good. And it was strawberry mousse. It wasn't even chocolate, the mousse that I'm known for. Strawberry mousse. So it was more the texture than anything else. Yes. It is, I will say, the very first time you have it, it's so, yeah, the texture of it, it's unlike

anything else you've ever eaten up until that point. Yeah. Because it looks kind of like ice cream. Yes. Or like yogurt. Yeah. You think you know what you're in for. Yeah.

You're not expecting a fluffy texture. Now, the other thing I remember about this mousse is that I had that, I'm going, fuck, this is amazing. This is amazing. And, you know, could even be mixed in with the whole idea of being away from home and this amazing new experience and whatever, and everything sort of combining into this one sweet little dessert. But on top of that, the whole camp's eating this chocolate,

this strawberry mousse, and going, fuck, this is amazing. And then a bunch of us have gone back for seconds, and they're like, there's no seconds. And then we find out one person got seconds. One person out of the entire camp was able to get seconds. And then it was just a fucking revolt from then on. So hang on, this camp made enough serves of moose for the number of campers that there were.

Plus one. Plus one. Yes. That is bizarre. That's the weirdest bit of the story by one. Yes. That is bizarre. Yes. That's the weirdest bit of the story by far. Yes. That is insane. Yes.

And this one guy called Ashley O'Callaghan. Oh, nice. Still remember him. Yep, get him. Strawberry, got the fucking second strawberry moose.

Now, I, again, I've been chasing that second strawberry moose for the next 35 years. He got it. He got these two mooses back to back.

I've kind of flipped. I kind of love the people in this kitchen. They knew what they were doing. They've done this deliberately to throw a cat amongst the pigeons. Imagine if they knew that I'd been thinking about this for 35 years. So is this going to be you like never been kissed Billy Madison style going back to this camp pretending to be a child just on the off chance that they might still be doing

the strawberry moose in the kitchen. I would love it if A, that camp was still going, if B, they hadn't changed the menu. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I reckon if it is still going, they haven't changed the menu. Yeah, yeah. If a camp in Halls Gap is still there, they're still doing the same food from 30-something years ago, no doubt. Well, the two main camps of my primary school childhood were the Halls Gap Camp and the Urban Camp, which is when you come to the big smoke, to the big city, or as it was once called by

someone in my friend's class, Big Stinky. And that camp got burnt down many years ago. So I don't know whether... That's definitely gone. That's gone. But no standout meals there. No good desserts there. So who cares?

Yeah, who gives a fuck? Yeah, it doesn't matter. Was that near the zoo or something? It was probably me for them not having strawberry mousse. I remember seeing those urban camp kids walking around my city when I was a little kid. Do you? Vaguely, yeah. I remember driving past it at least and being like, what the fuck's that?

Who are these guys in the straw hats fucking with loosened sticking out of their teeth? Yeah, exactly. They look poor yeah we we walked around and you know you had set things to do and whatever obviously and fuck the city was so big when you're a little kid back then and you just used to mirabar um but we i remember we went and saw crocodile dundee, but we saw it like a year after it was out. Like it had been to the Mirabar Drive in fucking eight months before that. And it was doing like a routine. It was back in the cinemas. I guess they used to do that longer.

Yeah. Remember that back then there wasn't as many movies. So like you could still find stuff a year later or whatever. Well, the home video stuff took a long, you know, it's not like it has stuff on streaming a month later now. Yes, exactly. There's like more demand for it to like keep staying in the cinemas. But I think that was like a classic school teacher move where they've gone, what could

the kids watch? And then some idiots like, yeah, Crocodile Dundee, without thinking, everyone's fucking seen that. Everyone's seen it. Pick something that's just come out. Yeah, even back in 1997, you've got discerning viewers. you've got kids know what the fuck's going on a little bit so they've just picked this tiny little fucking shit theater that's still can't afford the rights to anything better than that still and they've just found some 3 15 p.m fucking screening of a movie that everyone else

in the entire world has yeah so they've bought the print cheap from the Greater Union up on Russell Street or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's even like this class, this 30 fucking little kids from Maribor aged like eight are walking in going, oh, we've fucking seen this. Imagine that. You're not even living up to the expectations

of these bum fuck nobody little kids it's bombing in front of a bunch of fucking hill people yeah totally brutal well thanks bread pool that's what I'm going to call soup

from now on a bread pool yeah yeah yeah I like it and do that every time you go to eat it go thanks bread pool thanks bread pool

thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Scott Johnson. Here we go. All right. I bet he does. All righty. I bet he does. That'll do.

Let's move on. He's Scott Johnson, all right? He's got a big old Johnson. He's heard them all. Has he? I reckon. That's pretty good. I think maybe think maybe that i mean you don't know that's us was with look we've got a lot of comedy experience between the two of us you know and and

we've got fresh eyes looking at this thing it could be this thing where you know like friend of the show i'm not friend what's i guess technically subscriber patron subscriber and personal friend of mine childhood friend friend of mine, Peter Field. Yes. When I first read his name out, I was like, I grew up with him all through primary and high school. We never realised that his name sounds like Peter Field. Yeah.

Peter Field. Yeah. Well, I'd never pronounced it like that. I would say pedophile. So I'd never realised that. It was a bit of a long boat, but it was still pretty good stuff. Yeah. Yeah, it's very funny.

Yeah. But, you know but even even not the scott thing just having johnson as the surname by the way peterfield i think was on the halls gap um camp and probably saw crocodile dundee with oh wow so he's loving this app and he's getting a free little extra mention exactly um but yeah and and we could we'll probably talk about kids in a minute and he'll probably get Wow. So he's loving this ep. And he's getting a free little extra mention. Exactly. But having... And we'll probably talk about kids in a minute and he'll probably get into that as well. Having Johnson as a surname, though, this guy, surely. There's no leaps to have been made there. It's just all there, straight up for you.

Yeah. There was... Look, we still get hit up sometimes by... In the early eps, if you care to go back into the early, early episodes of Little Dungeon Club, some people, you know, get on board at episode 400 and that does them.

They just listen to it every week. They don't go back into the archives. Fair enough. If you want to, though, like the old schoolers, the people who do go back in, people still do ask me about new stories about Sunshine Johnson, legendary figure in Maribor, folklore. A lot of fucked up stories about him in the um legendary figure in marabara folklore yeah a lot of fucked

up stories about him in the early episodes of this show um i would love to have new stories about him but i just i'm always keeping an ear out but you know he went missing for a lot of years and then he's been cited a couple of times blah blah blah but so sunshine johnson um obviously i don't even know his real first name i don't even know if that was a nickname or his real name by the way sunshine okay yeah but i do remember that there was um a girl not in my year at school maybe in my year or maybe a little bit below and i think she i think she she came to a place i was living at at one stage, because her last name was Johnson, and someone just went,

your brother is Sunshine Johnson. And this girl was like a good-looking girl, and held herself in a very respectful way, shall we say. Someone just said, that's your brother, Sunshine Johnson, the biggest fucking in town. Yep. And I think she got her boyfriend just to punch this guy. Just for saying that. That's pretty awesome.

That's pretty funny. That's the kind of reputation that you want. That's very Maribor. Yeah. That's pretty good. Yeah. But what if she was, though? You'll never know. She didn't look like it.

There wasn't a lot of similarities between the two. Okay. It's like some very attractive. She wasn't homeless and fucked up. No, she didn't. She wasn't seven foot tall, bald with a handlebar mustache.

Okay, right. Who punches horses in the face. She does sound hot. Yeah. There are things she didn't have going for her. Sometimes the things that you don't have going for you that makes you.

Yep. Hot. so she uh so he must be he's dead or something right no he's not really no i hear i hear the little stories like i hear for a long time that the the trial went dead like especially after talking about these stories on the show um no one would have any stories about him but then i heard he popped up in Maribor a couple of times and people would go, oh, he was here. He's back. He was here, you know. I wonder if anyone's ever told him, hey, you've been talked about a lot on a podcast that's quite popular.

Yeah. Man, I'm not sure. Because that sounds like something that a guy like that would make up too. Yeah. Like him saying, oh, they fucking talk about me on a podcast. Like, yeah, right-o, chief. Well, all these relatives, like he's got quite an extended family in Maribor. So it's that thing where if you ever sort of thought to say, oh, you should track him down.

It's like, well, I guess I could because his extended family are in Maribor. But they're the sort of family I don't particularly want to go and knock on the door of. Right. And go, where's, I mean, for starters, you go, where's Sunshine? With the notepad out. Yeah. You go, where's Sunshine? And immediately it's either, well, who's fucking asking?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or are you the cops? No, we're not the cops. No, no, no. I do a podcast where we make fun of him. Okay, then. Oh, wait, I mean, I am the cops. Yeah, exactly.

So, yeah, it's hard. So, I don't... He's not on social media. I mean... Surprisingly enough. Yeah, well, it's funny because when you look up Sunshine Johnson on social media, a lot of black women in America.

Yeah, right. Yeah, we've talked about that before. Yeah. Well, maybe, you know, look, maybe Scott is one of these relatives. Yes. And he can lead us to him. Yeah.

Check in with your dad or you. Actually, you know what, Scott? That these relatives. Yes. And he can lead us to him. Yeah. Check in with your dad or you. Actually, you know what, Scott? That's you. Yeah. He's you. He's you. Yeah. Yeah.

If you've got... I mean, Johnson is a pretty rare name. You must be related. You must be really closely related. Have to be. No chance. You might even be him. Might even be the real him.

Might be him. Scott Sunshine Johnson. Thanks, Scott. Thanks, Sunshine Johnson. Thanks, Scott. Thanks, Scott Johnson. Thanks, got. Thanks, I have dick. Scott Johnson. Thank you to Patreon subscriber David Main.

David Main. M-A-I-N-E? No, no E. M-A-I-N. Main. The main man. So he wants to be, he's the main David. M-A-I-N-E? No, no E. M-A-I-N. Okay. The main man. So he wants to be, he's the main David. He's sick of pretty common name.

He's like putting his foot down. He's like, nah, I'm the main one. I'd like. Fucking hell. You got one eye on the gym, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got one foot on the treadmill. Yeah. I'd quite like it if he took the I out of Maine and his name was David Mann.

Pretty good. David Mann. Pretty good. Just a suggestion. Yeah. I know you've got... Have you ever thought about that? I thought about that the other day where if you're planning, your loose plan, I know from

what you've said to me before, if you don't have a kid, your all-sort name dies out. Have you got cousins? I've got cousins, yeah. I've got heaps of cousins. Right. Yeah. Okay. It's the Italian way.

Yeah, yeah, sure. But your line of it then dies out. My line of it dies out, yes. Is that sad? Not really. I mean, the name does keep going because I have a lot of cousins who've had kids. If it was just me,

then if I knew that I was 100% ending the name, then yeah, I'd be bummed about that. What do you think about the idea, just the concept of, okay, so you've said to me before, no kids and don't get married. What do you think about the idea that just the concept of, okay, so you've said to me before, no kids and don't get married. What do you think about, how do you think the single you

at age 70 is going? What are you doing? What's single Tommy Daslow doing at age 70? I don't plan to make it that far. What if things go wrong and you do? I've never thought of this.

You really fuck it. You really fuck up and you're alive. It should be obvious from a lot of my behavi do. I've never thought of this. You really fuck it. You really fuck up and you're alive. It should be obvious from a lot of my behaviours that I've never really thought of this as a long-term prospect. Life isn't a long-term project. Yeah, yeah. I don't want to get serious with life.

With a pulse. Yeah, I mean, that's... Yeah, I have had bouts of being single where I get very disillusioned with dating and you kind of, you know, and I think a lot of people have had this experience where they go, fuck, that's it. You know what? I actually am fine being on my own.

I don't want to be fucked dealing with this anymore. I can't be fucked being on the apps. Meeting people is a bit of a nightmare. Yeah, I don't care. I've never cared whether I'm in a relationship or not. But that is, yeah, that is always at the back of your mind it's like fuck being being 60 and then it's like the people that you see just like wandering the streets just fucking going insane yeah yeah that's iraq that's how that start i mean

not to say that all of them don't have families yeah but i think that there's like a big percentage of like couple things went wrong they're a bit older, there's no children to look after them. So when you see, if you see someone on the train like screaming at themselves, screaming into a fucking plastic bag, if you go up and say, how's the wife? They're generally going to say, don't have one. Yeah, that's a good test actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just a baby cracking the shits on the train. Must be single. Yeah, yeah. No children Just a baby cracking the shits on the train. Must be single. Yeah, yeah. No children to speak of. Yeah. But that is, yeah, that definitely is a, that's something I've thought in the past of like, oh, that's setting yourself up for a gnarly life.

It's almost like you want to start a family at 30, cryogenically freeze them all, and then just thaw them out when you're 60 and fucked and need someone to look after you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's when it kicks in, doesn't it? Yeah. It's when you really need it.

Family's like super. It's like superannuation. Yes. Yeah, yeah. It should be like reverse adoption. Yeah. Where you get a younger couple to just start looking after you when you're 60. Yeah.

So maybe their parents are no longer in the picture. They adopt you as their grandparent slash parent. Yeah. And they just come around to the nursing home and just pretend that they're your family. Get the granny flat happening. Exactly. Do granny flats still happen much? I kind of technically live in one, don't I?

Yeah, sort of. Sort of. The layout of my building is such that i kind of live out the back of an apartment building i always think of it more as the as the the pool room though like as the you know people the pool house pool house sorry um people haven't been for the few of you listeners out there that haven't slept over at tommy's uh house um he's sort he's at the back of an apartment building right next to the pool. And I always think of the infamous Cato Kaelin in the O.J. Simpson case

where he lived out the back of O.J. Simpson's house and tended the pool, had his own little house out the back. And that's basically what Tommy lives in. Yeah, more or less. He's here just listening to murders go on in the main apartment building. He's listening to Nick Giannopoulos stab multiple people. Hell yeah. And you're just out the back going, I didn't hear anything, dude.

Yep. Yep. It's the strangest apartment I've ever been in. And it's definitely the strangest house I've ever lived in, in the sense that just geographic-wise, how it relates to the building. It is good. It's cool to live in a building and sort of not really feel like you live in a building. Like, it feels very separate.

But it is. I mean, we just had it then. Eddie and Joel had never been to my house. And just every time someone comes around to do the pod that's never been here before, just them walking. Because it's like they meet out the front of the building. Then we go in the lobby. And you see them walking, because it's like they meet out the front of the building, then we go in the lobby, and you see them thinking, well, we'll be hopping in the elevator.

Yeah. All of a sudden, I'm going through like a fire escape out the back. They're like, what the fuck? Next thing we're in a car park. Yeah. It's like, what the fuck is going on here? Yeah, yeah.

Then you're walking past the pool, and it's like, how have you got a pool if we're going at the, are you the caretaker here or what? Are we going into a fucking broom closet or what's happening here? I mean, that is the best thing about it, that I have the pool on my doorstep. That's great. When it's summer, just popping out there,

not having to fuck around in my little bathing suit in an elevator. It's great. I can't believe I've still never been in your pool. I mean, also, I don't think I've ever been in your house when it's been a pretty good day for some reason. I don't think I've ever been to your house when it's been above 24 degrees. Interesting.

I don't reckon. Have I only ever recorded podcasts with you in the winter? Did I just take eight months off at some stage? I can't remember. Yeah, we stockpile them. Right. And we hibernate. Yeah, we freeze the podcast.

Yeah. Right, right, right. Okay. Yeah, makes sense. Well, thanks, David. Whoever the fuck that... Oh, David Mayne. David Mayne.

Thanks, David Mayne. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Jacob Reiner. Reiner? Yeah. R-E-I-N-E? I'll stop you. Okay.

R-Y-N-E-R. What was the first name again? Jacob. Jacob Reiner. I don't mind Jacob. It's okay. I'll give it like a five. I'm not huge.

Out of what? Ten. Thousand. Fifty. That's bad. That's really bad. Yeah. If you upgrade it to Jake, boom.

You got me seven. Seven to eight out of ten. That's a pretty... I mean, that's a cool option that he has. I like that. I like that the option of the shortening is so wildly different to the full thing. Completely what I was about to say. You abbreviate it, and it's like,

isn't an abbreviation where you just change your name? Yeah, changing most of the letters in it to have the abbreviation. You jake it with a C, and all of a sudden you jake with a K. You could say to people that it's Carl or Carl for short, and the shortened version is Carl with a C. Yeah. Which technically is slightly sorted because a C aesthetically is slightly smaller than a K. You're just getting rid of the end, you know, the big straight bit of the K,

and then you've just got the little loop. So it's like, no, no, no, it's Carl with a C for short. Well, if you're saying Jacob, I'm just abbreviating it to Jake. It's like saying, my name's Darren, but just call me Dave for short. That's not bad. Yeah. If someone said that to me, I'd have to pay it. I'd have to be like, yeah, man, cool.

It's your life. Go for it. Yeah, I guess it's quicker. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. This is the thing. I mean, people can do whatever the fuck they want.

And a lot of people out there can do whatever the fuck they want And a lot of people out there Are doing whatever the fuck they want And it's for evil, nefarious purposes So why aren't we a bit more fine with people going like Oh yeah, it's David, but Will for short It's like, you know, people would jump on a person for doing that But honestly, it hurts no one Who gives a rat's ass?

When people are going I'm just choosing to ignore this law. I'm doing whatever I want. Just call yourself whatever the fuck you want. I guess it's one of those things where we think we can have some sort of say in this, though. Like if someone fucking just, you know, says gay people can't get married, it's like, what can we do about that? But if someone called Darren says, I'm going to call myself Daveave we can say fuck head well you can't do that yeah but they could i mean you know they could have a plebiscite on whether or not i'm going to call myself dave if my name's darren right and we all have to like postal vote yeah right in yeah campaigning darren's out there just campaigning his little ring off on

the tv you know what when they have the plebiscite when they have one of those things they should do it like the normal you you know, the big election where you can vote above the line or below the line. And if you vote below the line, you just get all those billions of fucking options. So it's like gay people should be allowed to get married. Yes, no. And then below the line is basically, but no no no not on these days of

the year no below the line is like can darren call himself dave yes or no can like you just so all these other issues are coming in gay marriage is like yep that's the big one that's the big boy yep and while we're at it while we've got you yeah we wouldn't want to call the full plebiscite just for darren dave these smaller issues that have to sneak in because also otherwise yeah it's a waste of paper to print all these ballots out again i actually don't mind that i'd love that yeah i would love that i think we should go to the polls more often about more things why is it just like this who should lead the country which in a lot of ways does tend to feel i mean i'm pretty politically apathetic and i'm also quite jaded where I think well, my voice doesn't

matter. And also, I'm talking about things I don't really understand. But just like a bunch of should this, should Blue Heaven milkshakes be outlawed? You know, things like that. The smaller scale issues. If you have five flavours available at the

coffee shop, should Blue Heaven be in the top five? And below the line is what should they be? Should they bring back Vidiot? Yeah, exactly. Things like that. If you have like

a lot of things that aren't that important but if you have a hundred of them and you get them out of the way under the umbrella of like a big important thing. Exactly. It's good.

Because the other problem is in this country where it's mandatory that you have to vote. Well, what you end up getting is a lot of people that don't know what they're on about, don't follow it in any way closely,

making this blind stab in the dark, and then that dictates who's running the country, which there's a case to be made that that's not really a good way of doing it. But if you have these very broad things about ice cream flavours, you can't accuse anyone of being at the polls and being uneducated about it in that case.

And also, look, the good thing, the good or the about australia is it's compulsory to vote so you got to be there but in other countries like america and they go oh we've got a low turnout yeah cool we'll put some more interesting questions in there right you know have the below the line have all the fucking milkshake have the vidiot question have all that sort of stuff get people back in with a bit of pop pop culture questions i'd love to see the um you know the whole like donkey voting thing where people just go like one two three four five in that order so it's often like how i don't quite know how they do it but i do know that they do have some form of thing into like it's obviously like to be like the top of the ballot it's alphabetical is it alphabetical yeah i thought it wasn't i thought there was some other

okay well the idea that the donkey voting would lead to just these absolutely wild fucking new flavours turning up in the stores. I thought you would have worked that out after Prime Minister Aardvark got in the last time. Yeah, right. It's a bit before my time. Right. Right, right, right. No, yeah.

It's... Yeah, fuck. Shake this up. I can't believe we're the fucking first person to think of this sort of stuff, but anyway. Once again, we give birth to so many good ideas on this podcast. I know, I know. This is a think tank. I know, some we should even follow up with one day,

but yeah, we're slowly getting to a few of them. Good luck following up on this one. Changing the way things are voted in to society. Yes. Yeah, no worries. We should be able to knock this one off in an afternoon. Yeah. Look, I think it'd be interesting.

I think it'd definitely be, like, in all seriousness, if you could put, like, a few little bits and pieces in there and just get them all done in one go, it'd be fucking good. We could do one for this podcast not even it's not even that's necessarily about anything in the podcast but we hold a pleb aside and we go here are the issues and then we get people listening to vote on which one matters the most to them we collate all those votes and then we start lobbying to make it happen so we go here's what the people we've got this popular podcast we've got a decent sample of the population have told us

that they want to fuck Blue Heaven off forever. We're now going to try and run this up the flagpole to Canberra. I think we talked about this a little while back where we were talking about having an AGM for the podcast. I think this is it. At the AGM, we have a vote. The Dumb Dumb plebiscite. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. We have, I think, some questions. I mean, of course, having our listeners vote on anything is just going to fuck everything up. Yeah. But I think we can sort of

dum-dum proof it somehow, which I maybe just... I don't know what the point of anything is then. If you're just going to stop anyone... I mean, I've done ballot counting before In an election And even just in that In a general thing of the population

You see a lot of dicks just being drawn On the ballot paper So let alone it being let loose On the freaks that listen to this But maybe without me knowing it at the time Those people drawing the dicks that I was counting Grew up to listen to this. Well, the good thing is, with our

ballot, is that it'll have pre-drawn dicks on it. Ah, yes. Okay, great. You'll be voting for which dick you like most. That's one of the questions. Okay, great. There you go. That's dumb-dumb proof. Just on top of your

talking about Blue Heaven milkshakes, what do you reckon is the most money you'd pay for a milkshake? I don't drink them. Oh, right. Not one for them? No, not really. Not something I ever really crave. Okay. I'm into them.

I don't know. It says a stab in the dark. Five bucks for a large one? Oh, God, that's cheap. That's a cheap milkshake. Is it? Okay. Because they're real trendy now.

Every new burger place that starts up, it's like, come have a burger with eight slices of cheese in it and then wash it down with a thick old concrete. Yeah, yeah. I've got a shop near my house that i was before i saw and all this sort of stuff i was getting right into that was my little you know morning break i'd go over there and do a tiny bit of work and um sit in there and um they had and i'm you know i kind of think i'm doing the right thing whenever i go to one of these tiny little cafes i think i'm doing

the right thing i'm supporting local business yeah know, a little bit pricey in there, but you know what? You're doing the right thing. A, you're getting out of the house, and B, you're pouring money back into the local economy. So that's good. A little bit pricey, but anyway. So I got a milkshake there one time. I'm like, fuck, this is one of the best milkshakes I've ever had. Again, a little bit pricey.

So I paid $8 for this milkshake I'm like I think that's too much for a milkshake That's a lot That's a lot for a milkshake Nudging 10 is a lot That's a lot For a drink

For a drink Yeah Then I kept going in there and going I'll get one Because they are delicious Okay And they just kept making them smaller

And I was like Oh they've got you on the hook yeah i was like they are absolutely taking the piss here it's now got to a stage where it is like i've got a glass in front of me but are you sure what so just you're getting smaller glasses every time yeah i was getting a smaller glass and then it went from a bigger glass to a smaller glass now this is the sort of glass where if you go to someone's house and they give you the glass and you go well that's not a beer glass because you put basically it's only a water glass because you wouldn't only put that much of anything sitting in front no smaller than that more than that wow smaller than that jesus so you know what like a small glass like there's shot glasses obviously that that's the smallest glass yeah

but then the next up you never really put anything other than water in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because you think, well, if you're going to put something worthwhile, make it a bit bigger. Yeah. So that's like a bedside glass, really. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, anyway, they're giving me fucking milkshakes in that for eight bucks. Wow. So it went from a bigger glass into one of these fucking bedside water glasses, but then they'd give me a bit of the off spill, like, because it made it, and then put it in the small water glass, and then, oh, here's the rest of it. You can top up yourself. It's got to be out of the fucking big metal thing. Yes. Or nothing.

I agree. I don't get, there's no room for error here, because there is a standard unit of measurement. It's one of the, it's like a beer. We all know pint glass pot. Also, but I'm watching them make it, and they're making it in the big fucking milkshake thing. Yeah. standard unit of measurement it's one of the it's like a beer we all know also pot but you i'm watching them make it and they're making it in the big fucking milkshake thing yeah they're making it in the thing that they should be serving it to then pour it into some pissy little fucking medicine bars yeah and then and then and then you can see that they've made two because then it progressed

or regressed to um they give me the off spill then they didn't even give me that and i'm like so what the fuck are you doing you're making a milkshake giving me the off spill then they didn't even give me that and i'm like so what the fuck are you doing you're making a milkshake giving me half of it then taking out the back and fucking sculling it yourself so what's going on here you're not taking this lying down no i don't know anything about you i know it was i was like going because they're really nice in there so i'm going like there was once where i got upgraded back into the normal glass and so that that did me for ages then I was like, well, this will come back. And then it just never did.

Right. It just went, and then ISO hit and whatever. And so I just haven't been back in there again. But I like the people in there and I like the food. The fucking, they're just absolutely taking the piss with a milkshake. You got to say, I reckon what you do is you say, hey, I got to be honest, I'm a real,

I'm a bit of a milkshake traditionalist. I love the metal. Can I just have it out of them? Can I be having it out of the metal thing? Because it's just like, that's to me, it's like a childhood, you know, you just like paint a picture for them. And then there's nowhere to run. That's a good idea.

Because I was thinking, don't worry, I was thinking, how do I confront them? What happens here? But you've got to be very careful, obviously, because someone that's in charge of your food and drink, and you're going to piss them off. You know what's going to happen. You're going to get more milkshake,

but there's going to be less milk in it, if you know what I mean. There's going to be a lot of other, yeah, it's not blue heaven. It's going to be yellow hell. So I'm like, fuck, how do I do this? How do I do this? Because I'm like, I was thinking. That's what you do. You just make the, you've got to make the, you to say, hey, I, you know, not to tell

you how to do your stuff, but I just, I love the metal thing. I just have it. Or just say, hey, look, or you make it sound like you're doing them a favor. Hey, like, don't worry about getting another glass. Hey. Just, just give me, just chuck me the metal thing straight out of the mixer. You know what? Don't worry about not giving me fucking enough.

Yeah. Just give me all of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right. Maybe that's it. All right.

I'll try next time. All right. I'll try it. Thanks, Jacob. Thanks, Jacob. Oh, yeah. We sort of got near that name, I guess. All right.

We've got two minutes before you have to go to the gym. Yeah, exactly. Here we go. Do we really? Yeah. Oh, boy. Yeah. Okay. We better do this one quick. we've got two minutes before you have to go to the gym yeah exactly here we go do we really yep oh boy yep okay we better do this one quick so sorry in advance

for this next person we're not going to riff on your name as much as we have for the rest of them so I'm sorry about that but Tommy does have to go and absolutely shine his rig so let's go

to the fourth or fifth one for this week thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Blue Heaven Comedy. Oh, wow. What? A really contentious flavour of comedy.

Oh, right. I love it. Not for everyone. Yeah, yeah. It tastes a little bit like vanilla and caramel comedy mixed together. I guess if you had to vote whether Blue Heaven Comedy should be in the top five names this week. Yeah. I guess in a way we voted yes.

Chuck that on the plebiscite. Yeah. People can work it out. And again, not much of it as well for your $8 a month. Not much of it because we're about to finish it. A lot of it going in the bin. Yeah, as it should. All right, guys.

Thanks very much for listening. Thanks to everyone who supports the show on Patreon, littledumbdumbclub.com, for the links to everything that we're doing, past episodes, all the merch, info about other stuff we have going on. Thanks very much for listening, and we'll see you next time.

See you, mate.