The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 514 - Peter Helliar & Danny McGinlay

Episode Date: August 5, 2020

We're hitting the multiplex this week for a movie-themed episode with PETER HELLIAR and DANNY MCGINLAY! We chat about Pete's great new movie podcast "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet" before we grill Danny about his past life working in a video store: the most commonly paused sex scenes, the posters bin out the back of the store, and late fees. We also hear about Chandler having a panic attack in the cinema and Tommy's pitching The Dum Dum Club Film Festival. PLUS in Talking Dum Dum, the Mailbag finally gets a theme tune. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on the Little Dum Dum Club, a brand new episode with guests Peter Hellyer and Danny McGinley. Head to littledumdumclub.com if you want to find some of the merch we have for sale. We have face masks that are flying off the shelf, don't we, Carl? Oh, look, you can go there. There's probably none left, but have a go. Have a crack. You can also support the show on Patreon if you would like to do that. You can get a bonus, two bonus episodes every week. We will talk to you more about that stuff at the end of the episode. But until then, enjoy this new one with

Peter Hellyer and Danny McGinley. Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo. With me, as always, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. How do you do, kid?

We've got two very special guests today. Joining us, one in the room, one down the line. See if you can guess which is which. We've got Danny McGinley and Peter Hellyer. Yay! Morning. Hey! I have broken borders, and I'm coming to you from the great state of New York City.

Live via satellite. Just the new Richard Wilkins himself, Pete Elliott. Richard Wilkins has emerged as the Superman of the coronavirus. I think he... There's... Yeah. We need to take Richard Wilkins' blood. I think there's the key to the vaccine in Richard Wilkins' blood.

Yeah, because he's had it, well, at least twice, hasn't he? Yeah, I think he's had it 223 times, and somehow... It was awkward when he had to report his own death. Yeah.

The only person who should be allowed to stroll through borders and international zones is Richard Wilkins. I'm confirmed. Did he get it? Maybe is that proven that facelifts ward off the coronavirus? Is that some sort of antidote? We all have to get Botox and that's how we're safe.

That'd be pretty great. Did he catch it from Tom Hanks or did Tom Hanks catch it from him? Which way around did it go? Because that's a pretty cool badge of honour. Yeah, absolutely. I think they slept with each other and during an interview it got a little bit steamy, a little bit like the Tom Cruise

Liz Hayes interviews of the late 80s. Yeah, yeah. Did Tom Hanks draw Wilson's face over the top of Richard Wilkins' face? Have sex with him? I'm going to say, I wouldn't mind getting it if I caught it off a celeb. Like, it sounds brutal, but it's like super sick.

But you're talking to people, they're like, how'd you get it down the shops? You're like, you're familiar with a show called Seinfeld and a little character called Kramer? I caught it from Michael Richards. So that's your go-to. That's, of all the celebrities you could catch COVID-19 from, you want the Michael Richards COVID. Yeah, me and him having a bit of a symposium, a free discussion of ideas and things that we both believe in.

Him opening your butthole like Kramer opens the door in Seinfeld. Why are we talking sexually transmitted? He doesn't have to have fucked me. He could have just been in the same room as me. Okay, okay. I do feel Tom Hanks getting coronavirus sets up the worst Philadelphia sequel. You know, it just doesn't have the same punch.

It's mad that he was, yeah, he was like almost a patient. You know, he really was on the front lines. Like that seems like about seven years ago. And that's all really kicking off. He got it done early. You know, back when a celebrity getting it was like a big story. That would be good if actually every case of COVID-19 came from somehow Tom Hanks. Like that was known as the Tom Hanks disease in Australia.

It all came from that. He was like the cane toad, you know. Oh, yeah, yeah. It just all multiplied from him. Tom Hanks and introduced species into Australia. It all came from that. He was like the cane toad. You know, it just all multiplied from him. Tom Hanks introduced species into Australia. Yes, exactly.

Peter, you work on a news show. Has anyone famous died from it yet? Tom Hanks. Just breaking news, guys. Oh, right. No.

Wow, it took a while. That's why I thought we were talking about him. Right. You thought this was a tribute show. Right, okay. No, no. But that's how the celebrities...

There's been some, Danny, there's been some, dare I say it, and I can't, like minor celebrities or celebrities who maybe hadn't heard of for a while, nobody in top flight has... I may be wrong, I may be wrong, but not that I can think of right now. Do you reckon Madonna, she's an attention seeker. Do you reckon she'll just neck herself just to be the COVID woman?

She came out the other day... I don't think that's how COVID works. You don't kill yourself and name COVID in the suicide note. kill yourself and name COVID in the suicide note. Madonna came out the other day and tweeted that, you know, one of these conspiracy theories that they've actually got the vaccine and they're hiding it from all of us, which is...

Oh, that's it, yeah. Anyone who's on the conspiracy theory train, you have to assume their days are numbered, because if you don't believe that it's a real thing, then you're just happily out there, mask off, just ready to go. Remember when conspiracy theories, people used to be sort of cute, used to be sort of interesting? People would be going on about the Yeti or about...

Moon landing, Loch Ness Monster. It feels like a cute little memory. And now it's just like, oh, yuck, it's now the worst thing. Yeah, because it's all linked back to to I want to behave in a selfish way. I don't want to wear the mask. I don't want to wear this. There's no one that was like pretending to have seen the Loch Ness monster so that they could fucking walk around naked or whatever.

Yeah, it was really only the owner of Loch Ness. It was like pushing that for personal gain. This morning I saw there was a protest at the Shrine of Remembrance and they had, there was only, there weren't many people. There were about,

you know, I don't know, 10 or 15 people not wearing masks, complaining, protesting. Like, they're protesting

at the Shrine of fucking Remembrance. Yeah, like this, this virus is killing older people. Like, if this was a movie, the unknown soldier would have fucking burst up out of the Shrine,

through the fucking wall, and mowed them down with the fucking AK-47. That's what fucking would have happened in the movie, and I wish it had have happened. Yeah, yeah. Why is that flame still burning?

What aren't they telling us? It's all a fucking conspiracy. The Shrine of Remembrance to remember all those soldiers that fell, you know, because they refused to wear a helmet because the government was breeding their thoughts back in the 30s. I have a friend who is just worryingly on the cusp of being big-time conspiracy theorist and, like, she'll tweet out a lot of stuff

and, like, Instagram a lot of stuff and like instagram a lot of stuff that's like very like anti-vax adjacent and at the start of all of this kicking off like back in march he was like read a really sad thing that um people are so worried about their pets getting covid that they're getting their dogs put down so that they're not at risk of getting the coronavirus that sounds like jenny mcginley's madonna theory i coronavirus. You know what? That sounds like Danny McGinley's Madonna theory, I think. But you know what? You know what? Joe's dogs are better off now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They've gone to a better place. But so it's better to be dead than worried about being dead. But so she puts that in our group chat and we go, where did you hear about this? And she goes, oh, I read it in an article. And we're like, I'd love to see the link to this article. And then it's just not been forthcoming but then there are reports now that like there's

been a couple of like the first reports in the last couple of weeks of people's pets getting it so it's like she's just she's just been biding her time and gradually become vindicated do you know what i mean like the news has started to catch up to her insane fucking conspiracy theory view of the world. Where does she stand on the naming of famous cheese brands? Yeah, her big one is that this is just an immunity issue. If we all had better gut health, then this would just be like a common cold and we all need to change what we're eating.

Hang on, hang on. She's just speaking for big your cult, isn't she? She's behaving like a bit of a big your cult. If you eat your own dog, you don't get COVID. Yeah, that's it. That's the message that they're pushing. I think it's right that they changed the branding of coon cheese and I tried the new brand slut cheese and I think it's quite nice.

Is this just the off cuts that you can't say on the project? It really is. That's why I swing by every few months. You should make that a regular thing. Pete's Spicy Corner. This is Pete's Project Enema.

That's what this is. Just flushing all the shit out of Pete's system. People could know if they're watching you on the show and if there's someone in the news who's been a bit of a cunt and they just see you just frothing at the mouth, just wanting to drop some expletives and not quite able to get away with it. They're like, that's going to be a great

dum-dum at the end of the month. This is a fart you've been holding on to all day at the project. Can we circle back to ScoMo going to Hawaii? I've got a few takes on that. Now, can we talk about this piece? So, Pete, you've – well, well, well.

Look who's come crawling back to the world of podcasts. Pete Hellyer himself. He's got a new podcast out now all about you get a guest in every week and you basically get them to watch a movie that they haven't seen before, an all-time very famous movie. And I've done an episode, I think, that if you listen to it, you listen to this as it comes out, I'm on this week's one, aren't I? Yes, yeah, that's right. And you took a bullet.

And the name of it is, Pete? You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet. So, name of it is Pete. You ain't seen nothing yet. So yeah, it's classic movies I haven't seen. The guest watches the movie before they come in and then we chat about it. So we kicked off with Tommy Gleeson and The Lion King. Sam Pang controversially hadn't seen The Castle despite working for those guys for 10 years.

Must be nice. And yeah, we've had, Ronnie Chang was last week. He hadn't seen Matey Manhattan, which is, you know, it was, hang on, classics is being very generous here. That is so funny, though, because you've got everyone, like, doing Casablanca and, you know, Gone With The Wind and stuff, and then he's, you provide a list to everyone everyone and he's come in and ignored that list and just put his own one in yeah like as if there's anyone out there that's going oh my god i can't believe ronnie chang hasn't seen made in man but it's so funny because i i you know i i do provide a list as more thought starters and i

you know i'll let you know what movies we've already covered or people have already bagged and I sent that to Ronnie and he just kept on coming back you know with when he came back in the text message he just wrote

any questions for Ben? and I give him a call not sure if he's joking or not. And I say, mate, that's pretty funny. And he said, why? What's funny about that? I said, well, we've already done the castle. I'm really happy to do the dish.

Whether any questions were banned, which I enjoyed. Whether it's considered a classic, I'm not sure. He goes, yeah, but it's got people... Sweet tightrope work, Peter Hellier. It sounds like he's pitching a spin-off version of your podcast where it's actually called, Why the Fuck Did You See That? Where you get guests on that have seen a movie that no one... People who go into bat for a film like,

yeah, this week we're talking about That's My Boy with Adam Sandler. I think it's great, guys. Let's discuss it for an hour and a half. Made in Manhattan is one of those films that Carl's wife picks up at the supermarket. Yeah, yes. Exactly. That is a $9.97 at the last point of purchase in a Coles.

Impulse Buy. That's actually, it's like a three movie. Oh, yeah. You get that, you get Grown Ups 2. And suddenly 30. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. In one DVD.

It does feel slightly more suited to Guy Montgomery's podcast. Yeah. Exactly. So there is a loophole in the premise because I do say classic or beloved movies. And I did consider it. And I think you could argue that Made in Manhattan is a beloved rom-com.

I had never seen it myself. Who is in it apart from J-Lo? J-Lo and Ralph Fiennes. Voldemort. Voldemort is in it and he's the love interest he's the love interest and one of the very few movies he's done

where he actually has an American accent which is slightly strange, I would have preferred the German accent from Schindler's List to be honest now does this slightly wreck the podcast though Pete because you know you're going to keep making this show and you know you've set the bar very high with everything else

and now he's set the bar very low I mean can I come back on and push for watching Caddyshack 2 or anything like that just all bets are off can I start naming pornos that I've never seen before but I'd quite like to watch? That's not the worst idea in the world, to be honest.

Sweetie, I'm watching a porno for the podcast. Can you just please shut the door? Pete, how far can you stretch the definition of beloved? Because if you were ever to ask me on, I haven't seen Triumph of the Will. Now, that's beloved in certain circles. That's the pro-Hitler one?

Nazi propaganda. Actually, I have a copy of Birth of a Nation, which is one of the first films ever made in the United States, and it's an ode to the Ku Klux Klan. I've never watched it, and I ordered it, and I've been on a watch list ever since.

If you need one, Pete, if you on a watch list ever since. Oh, God. Fuck. If you need one, Pete, if you need a copy of Birth of a Nation. Well, the interesting thing about Birth of a Nation is it's still kind of

held up as this kind of, because it was one of the very early films, it's held up as this. I've got plenty of great ideas in it, for sure. Yeah. It's held up as this masterpiece.

It's only recently that people have been going, this film's really fucked and we should not be studying it. There are other films we can study, you know, to,

we can show twoies out there, you know, it's, you know. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So there's not a criterion collection

of Birth of a Nation? Well, I mean, there may be, but the, no, so I won't, I won't be doing

Triumph of the World or Birth of a a nation you may have to but there is a i start every episode by the guest saying uh hey this is carl channel and my three favorite films are blah blah blah so you could include trying for the will in that in those three films if you like just sneak it in just roll it in the intro no further discussion and i would probably because because in the moment, I may not have connected Triumph of the Wheel with Nazi propaganda, so I may have gone, hmm, hmm.

Yeah, could film that one and just move on. Yeah. Well, I just want to make it very clear. I've never seen it. That's why I'm bringing it up. I've never seen it. A lot of people have. And my other favourite films are American History X,

but I turn it off before the end. And Pauline Henson's maiden speech to the Senate. So before we let you know what Carl watched, what would your, Tommy and Danny, what would your movies, is there a classic movie that you kind of always regretted or a little bit embarrassed that you haven't seen? Well, I do know for a fact that you've done one of the big ones of mine, which is The Godfather.

I've never seen The Godfather, which is just... You can't bring that up in polite society that you haven't seen it. You just get screamed at. Sorry, Luke McGregor hadn't seen The Godfather. It actually comes up quite a bit, that film. There's a few films that seem to come up regularly. And that's one that I feel has come up a few times and people are a little bit embarrassed.

Star Wars kind of comes up a bit. We got Waleed Ali doing Star Wars, which I kind of feel like he's going to ruin it for me. We haven't done it yet. That is what Wally does. He ruins things with his intelligence. But yeah, you've got to watch The Godfather. What was yours, Danny?

Well, actually, one of my hobbies is I'm trying to go through the top 250 films on IMDb. So I've actually rectified a lot of the films that I've not seen. So hang on, out of the top 250, how manydb so i've actually rectified a lot of the films that i've not seen um the highest rate hang on out of the top 250 how many have you seen so i've seen 152 oh the reason i haven't seen the others is because i have small children and uh and a lot of them can't get in australia like the highest rating film i haven't seen is a japanese 1962 film called seppuku oh yeah which i cannot find on any streaming services,

and I don't want to illegally download it. Seppuku is Japanese for trying for the will. I don't think it's far off. And also, I have to do this by myself, these films, because we had some disasters early on. I've got my wife, who likes movies as well. The kids had gone to sleep early, so we went, let's try and watch one of these films.

What's next? We watched a manga film called Grave of the Fry Flies. Okay. And that's on the top 250? That's in the top 250. That's like number 46 or something. And that is ultimately about two orphans in World War II who slowly starve to death. Oh, okay.

And my wife was not a fan of that, just, you know, with a newborn child. You do get a more... Pete will... Carl, actually... That is quite a slight on a lot of movies if that made the top 250. Oh, yeah, it's a beloved manga.

Surely, matey Manhattan gets in above that. Surely. Yeah, yeah. Hey, it's got its faults, but no orphans die in it, okay? You've got to give it that, folks. Emaciated children or Jenny from the block. Up to you. Because one thing, Carl, I don't know if you noticed this.

Pete, you back me up on this. Once you have children, you are affected by movies a lot more. You get more emotional in them especially when you've got a newborn and you're lacking sleep it comes up a lot it comes up a lot in the podcast about you know how emotional ben lomas watched et and uh he was he actually almost was crying in the podcast and uh but he was he was an emotional wreck watching E.T. So Carl watched, and somebody had to do it. Carl stepped in. He watched, do you want to tell them, Carl?

Yeah, I watched Titanic. You've not seen it. I can imagine you in about 1997 when everyone's saying, you've got to see this film. It's visually amazing. And you go, nah, I'm not doing that. Exactly. I'm not a huge... Look, to be honest, I movied myself out straight out of high school.

I reckon for a year or two, I became a film nerd. And I watched everything that was on lists and stuff and really went in deep on certain filmmakers. To be fair though, there were eight movies back then. Seen by Willie, loved it. Watched a lot of it back then.

Jumped out of the way when the train was coming towards you. Guys, they've made Birth of a Nation. There's no point seeing anything else. Something about a guy that sang jazz. I'm not a big movie watcher anymore i sort of got got over it then so i haven't i i couldn't tell you like movies i've watched recently i i just don't i just don't sit down and watch a movie so to sit down and not only like i kind of think it's a bit of a waste of my time to watch a movie because i

might go for 90 minutes and then i picked the fucking through the one three hour movie that pete had on his list instead. Well, that's why I think Sam Pang ended up with The Castle because he originally said Gone With The Wind and then he checked the running time, which is, it's nearly four hours and now you've got to watch the documentaries before and after. So now it's like a seven-hour experience.

And then he looked at The Castle, which is a very crisp, like, 88 minutes. So he just said, bang. I didn't think about it at all. But if I had, I would have very quickly changed to an episode of Family Ties. About 22 minutes there. Some of those Looney Tunes cartoons were technically screened in cinemas. They almost count as movies.

Yeah, Rabbit Season. I could have watched that. Quick eight minutes. No worries. It's almost disappointing to me that you did Titanic because it's so impressive that you managed to go so long in your life without seeing it. When it came out, it was such a massive cultural phenomenon

that it's disappointing to me. I wish you had have just continued on your life having never seen it. There's plenty of movies like that that I haven't seen, though. There's heaps left that I haven't seen like that. I plenty of movies like that that I haven't seen though. There's heaps left that I haven't seen like that. I kind of think anything that went to number one I'd be like,

fuck that, everyone likes that. I'm not going to watch that. There's heaps of that. Avatar, I never watched Avatar. Give me a Japanese manga film. Come on, I want to see some Orphan Star. Yeah, exactly.

Exactly. I want to see some rib cages. I don't want to see a big boat in an iceberg. Did it affect you, Carl? You got the newborn. Did you get emotional? You know what?

No, because I watched it. I was running against time. I didn't think it went for that long. I forgot. And I was doing Pete's podcast in the morning, and I left to the night before. So instead of getting emotionally invested in any of it, I'm just watching the clock going

fuck this movie come on hurry up I'm barracking for the iceberg fucking hurry up who thought an iceberg would be this slow

fucking hell what some people do with podcasts and watching it at double speed yeah yeah come on sink sink

oh boobs sink sink sink come on Billy Zane fucking you paint me like one of your French girls scene the nude scene gets a fair well pardon the bug gets a fair whack sink, sink, sink, sink. Oh, the... Come on, Billy Zane, fucking... The paint me like one of your French girls scene, the nude scene gets a fair...

Well, pardon the bug, it gets a fair whack. Yeah. Yeah, it was the one bit of the movie that, like, in the old VHS test, VHS tapes, where it just got blurred

over the whole time. Yeah. Carl didn't watch the rest of the film, he just watched that scene on a loop for three and a half hours. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Carl, didn't you consider, like, maybe, consider maybe fast-forwarding through the film or something, but then you chatted to Lomas about the podcast? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did kind of think about that because I was running against time, but then Lomas said to me that he talked to Pete and was like, oh, fuck, he knew everything. He was giving me a pop quiz on it you know right you can't get out of this you know you it's like oh fuck okay all right

i'm gonna have to watch all what is it three and a half hours something like that yeah because you did you then go and watch the movie as well you yeah you make a big effort to watch the movie as well because i'm thinking i can flub my way through this and go oh yeah that bit when they got on the boat Kelly you're a man who's been around comedy a long time knows that like these cunts are gonna lie about having watched it I've got to hold their feet to the fire on every small detail of the film Carl not every character was called Wobbsy yeah yeah oh yeah then old mate got on a life preserver or something. Old mate boat. Yeah, yeah, and then Gilligan, he jumped out and found his way home.

But it has been great because I've watched a lot of films that I love, such as E.T. with Lomas and Thornow did Heat, Godfather with Luke. But there's a lot of films that I hadn't seen before you know Mighty Manhattan's not the best example but I hadn't seen that I hadn't seen

I hadn't seen Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid Bob Murphy did great film how good looking Danny are those two lead men

Newman and of the little Dumb Dumb Club. Yeah, the Redford and Newman of podcasts. I won't get right, Pete. That was one that was on my list of things that I've got to absolutely go through. And I fucking loved it. That's a genuine hilarious comedy as well as a

good uh western as well absolutely it's so great one of those films i decided really early on like you know within minutes you know that when you decide within minutes that you love a film you go i love this like this is gonna have to really fuck up for me not to end up loving this i'll wake up the next morning and my wife said, did you enjoy the film? And I was just like, do you know how good looking Newman and Redford were? And she's like, no. And I was Googling imaging,

going, look, look at their eyes, look at their eyes. Yeah, yeah. Why aren't you masturbating right now? Because I'm making the kids lunches. Why are you? Well, you mentioned this movie back then a couple of minutes ago, but I was thinking on the way in today, I was thinking, you know, we're going to be talking about films.

I'm trying to think of my own cinematic experiences, and I'm not, like I said, I'm not, I haven't been a big movie watcher over the years but I was thinking about all the times I've been to the few times I've been to the cinema um in the last 20 years or so and I was thinking you know what the worst experience I ever had was watching Heat now now this is this is very strange I guess but i remember i've never been a big drug taker in any way right do i remember um when heat came out um i'd i'd been smoking stuff like three weeks before that or something and i just got so anxious and had some sort of anxiety attack in the mood in the middle of heat

that i was i just got into my head oh man i think i'm still i think i'm still high from when i smoked that marijuana three years ago i think something's wrong with my brain I think I'm still I think I'm still high from when I smoked that marijuana three years ago. I think something's wrong with my brain. I think I'm going to be permanently damaged from this. And I was having this fucking panic attack in the middle of heat and I just left the movie sat in the toilet for half an hour and then came back and watched the rest of the heat

and did not follow it in one way whatsoever. Everyone else walked out of the cinema going what a triumph but I'm like that's the worst movie I've ever seen in my fucking life. Even right now I just think when people go oh going, what a triumph. But I'm like, that's the worst movie I've ever seen in my fucking life. Even right now, I just think of when people go, oh, do you want to watch Heat? I'm like, absolutely fucking not. What a nightmare. That's so weird, because

it's not like you're watching Cheech and Chong. There's no marijuana or any kind of drug taking regularly in Heat at all. I mean, Tony Wolfe's in it. That's the weirdest thing about it. Yeah, to me, it's like, that's like a hippie movie now,

for me. That's like a drug-addled movie is heat. I just can't watch it again. But it's about the cops, right? It's very tense. It's like a police thriller.

From what I saw, yes. Yeah, so you're probably thinking, fuck, the boys in blue are going to find out what I've done three weeks ago.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe that was the link. Purple Rose of Cairo style, they're going to come out of the screen and bust me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe that was the lead. Purple Rose of Cairo style, they're going to come out of the screen and bust me. Yeah, yeah.

And Pacino does play a drug addict in that, though. It's never explicitly said on screen, but he said in interviews that he played him as a coke addict. That's right, yeah. You've probably done the research. That's absolutely right. That's why he has these massive bursts.

You know, she's got a green ass! And it's just like, where the fuck did that come from? And there's that scene where he says that, and Hank Azaria is like, he's the one he's kind of grilling, and Hank Azaria is just kind of watching, going,

what the fuck are you doing? Like, it's, it's, that's right. But instead of a woman, he goes, who are,

and all this, does he play everything as a coke addict? Is he a coke addict? That's what it seems like to me. Yeah, I mean, the Scent of a Woman and the Vincent Hanna character from Heat are weirdly kind of similar in a way. That's why The Godfather is such a brilliant film to watch

because you kind of see Pacino quite understated compared to where he kind of goes. He gets bigger as his career goes on. And whenever we talk about Pacino, you always talk about the hoo-ha and that kind of stuff. But that's why you've got to watch The Godfather, Tommy, because you see Pacino as just really kind of quite reserved and calm. Or Serpico.

He's pretty much deadpan in that. Yeah, he's awesome. Well, Danny, you used to... Now, you've got a film history in that you... I didn't know this before today, but you used to work in a lot of video shops. Yeah, before I went full-time comedian, I managed three separate video shops.

So I've got a career to fall back on when this all goes badly. Was it Blockbuster, Video Easy? One Video Busters and two Video Easys. Video Busters, hell yeah. Oh yeah, the Collingwood one as well. That's our favourite franchise. We would have talked about that early days of the podcast.

Yeah, the Video Busters on Smith Street that just had like a flea market section where they were just selling like necklaces and old t-shirts. You could go in there and get a smock. I was there pre-flea market when it was all VHSs. That's how long ago. Right. Because I was a bit obsessed with just the name Video Busters.

Yeah, I can tell you the origin. Why are you busting videos? Aren't you renting them? Genuinely, it started by two brothers and their mate in 1984, and Ghostbusters was the biggest movie of the time. Yeah, they're busting ghosts. They're of the time. They're busting ghosts. They're blowing up ghosts. They're trapping ghosts.

You're not blowing up video. We used to have, in video busters, you couldn't put movies on the screen. You just had to play these compilation CDs of pop songs. You're a video shop, and you couldn't even get the rights to play video. What?

Fucking hell. Was the video shop on an oil rig? This was just their policy. They didn't want the TVs, everything. We don't trust you. We don't buy the cow if you give away the milk for free. We don't trust you. You can rent them out, but you can't watch them.

Pretty much. Pretty much. But they played compilation CDs back then with the Video Easy Radio, Video Busters radio ads spliced in, including the jingle of, if you're looking for a movie video library, where are you going to go?

Video Busters. Oh, nice. They got the rights to that one. They did, yeah. Yeah, great, great. Because you're right, it's a weird name. Like, at the point that the shop goes out of business and you're walking into a Video Busters and it's just completely empty,

and then the person who runs it's just sitting there going, mission accomplished. This was the grand plan all along. Like, we actually actually built we built planned obsolescence into the title of the chain they crossed the streaming services how were the days of like returning returning videos and i'm not sure if you guys went through the same thing but my mom hated paying the late fee so she used to get me like she used to either me, or she would often do it herself, come up with like death in the family type excuses as to why

we had to return Manfred Snorri River yesterday. We needed an extra day to watch it because Grandpa died. We didn't have time to rewind it because we were writing the eulogy for my sister. Getting stung the no rewinding fee was always just such a badge of shame.

The way that they'd look at you like you are the world's worst cunt was just awful. We never had that. It was never a fee, but you would always look at it, and as they're walking out, you'd just go, rewind! I always wanted to have one of those machines that they had that would rewind it in about three seconds we had those yeah yeah and that was my standard joke in the later years of uh when people were hiring dvds would always go don't forget to rewind that it would always always do very well we have a slight connection danny one of my first jobs was going door to door um selling those kind of coupons where you could have 25 video easy cards.

It got you free video. So I used to knock on doors and sell that stuff. That was one of my first jobs. Oh, wow. Wow. That's awesome. No, it wasn't. It wasn't.

What are the... I much prefer being a comedian on television than doing that, Carl. Just so we're very clear. Oh, big call. All right. Great. That's the pull quote for news.com.au

for this podcast. Very nice. Okay. We've got an exclusive here. Thank you. And, Carl, before we go to the next thing, just on the scenes that have been... I'm wanting to ask you about working in a video shop.

Well, yeah, no, I've got something on video that I just remembered before we forget. You were talking about scenes in VHSs that had been chewed by people watching them too much. Does anyone want to guess what the top two were? Basic Instinct. Basic Instinct, yep, number one. Oh, sorry, that was number two. Oh! There was a number one.

The Best of the Worst of Great Faces. That is correct. What was it? Not Body of Evidence. It was Revenge of the Nerds because it had... Oh, the pricing. No, they had full frontal vagina shots. Hey, guys, we got Bush.

Oh, yes, of course. Oh, man. Of course. You talk about films That don't They don't Stack up on rewatch That show is

Mostly sexual assault Oh right I was going to say I thought you were Going to go with the opposite And go that holds up You know I mean it is Bush

They do have Bush In that movie They do have Bush But so that So that was only Rated M So teenagers could rent it And get full nudity

Oh I'm aware I was a teenager at the time Don't worry Basic instinct was R rated M, so teenagers could rent it and get full nudity, and they would just watch that over and over, whereas Basic Instinct was R-rated. I remember when Revenge of the Nerds came out, my mate suggested he wanted to go see it, or rent it, from a Greensboro box store. Clang.

Yeah, and I had no idea what nerds meant. This is how long ago it was. I had no idea what nerds meant. This is how long ago it was. I had no idea. The term nerds was still a new thing. Can you imagine how long ago that is where nerds is like,

it's almost like not quite understanding what a Karen is now. What does that mean? Revenge of the Karens. It sounded like a horror film to me. I was like, I'm not sure if I want to watch that it sounds pretty scary

petrified of anyone that looks like Rick Moranis it's interesting in the podcast how many times when people talk about their favourite films it's often the films that they had on VHS as a family

you know like they you maybe have a dozen VHS as a family. You know, like they... Yeah, yeah, yeah. You maybe have a dozen VHS tapes and, you know, half of them are maybe footy replays or, you know, rage videos. And then you have, you know, six or eight or so movies that you just kept, you know, as a family. And there was really strict instructions

not to tape over these films. We had Cocktail Man for Snow River was one what was your mum hiring it for then if you had it at home that's crazy

well for Grandad's funeral you put on the good copy we had a guy who lived near us called Joe Buzinski and he he had a set up where he us called Joe Buzinski, and he had a set-up where he could record, you know, basically bootleg all the movies.

I remember going to his house. Tape to tape? Copy tapes? I think so. I never asked him any questions, Tommy. I didn't want to get too deep on it. But I remember going to the house, and they pulled back his cupboard, and it just had everything.

And it had Return of the Jedi before it was on video. It was just, I don't know. Back when videos would take like a year to come out. Exactly, yeah, that's right. So I was just like, this is my favourite place in the world right now. And we would take videos home from him and watch them. Before it was really uncool to do that. We don't do that anymore.

I remember every now and then in high school we would a film we would be studying in a in whatever class they would rather than like having an actual like legit copy of it it would just be a copy that some teacher five years ago had taped off the tv and always feeling like can't the school just get a legit like is this surely this isn't allowed and then but then yeah we should at, we shouldn't be watching ads for Carpet Call. Well, that was always it because we'd have ads from a few years ago, which at the time were like fascinating,

like seeing the old Maccas ad and the teacher like fast forwarding through the ads and us going, this is the best bit. Leave the ads on. We want to see like the Happy Meal toys from 1992. I want to see back when you could get triple cheeseburgers off the menu.

Yeah. I've still got a VHS that my parents taped off the TV and I've still got my VHS player just because I stole a whole lot of videos from the video shop as well. The least surprising thing of all time, McKinlay still has a VHS player. Some films... Alright, I'll put this out.

Some films are better on VHS. Whoa, That's huge I know That is a huge call Name one Name one Fargo Fargo's better on VHS

Better on VHS Hang on hang on So there's movies That are better blurry Yeah Because Fargo has Sort of this dreamlike feel to it So when it's

When it's not as crisp And the snow seems more Intimidating Yeah and they've had to Cut it into 4.3 and Fargo famously does have the N-word right at the edge of the frame for the entire film. So having that cut out in the square format

does make it a lot more palatable. And also a lot of those schlocky horrors from the 80s, so like Return of the Living Dead, Evil Dead, they do not... Full HD is not their friend. I've got to say, the handful of times I've watched a movie on free-to-air in the last couple of years, I haven't minded it. It's taken about six hours to get through with you.

It's kind of nice. You get a little break, go to the toilet. Well, you say that, Pete. The movie that we had as a kid, I think the one official movie that wasn't taped off the TV, one that actually came in a cardboard box from Myers, I think, was Ghostbusters. That was played every school holidays, every day in our house,

and I'd never seen it since then. I watched it the other day on free-to-air. Holds up. Fucking good. Really good. That's on 4K on Stan. I haven't seen Ghostbusters for a while. It comes up quite a bit in the podcast.

I know McGregor, because McGregor's got his proton pack. Yeah. He owns a proton pack. Yeah, so he talks about how he had to go about getting it because he ordered it from the UK and the guy who was making them had basically decided not to make them anymore.

So he sent out McGregor just the parts to this proton pack. Not a protein pack, although he could probably get on the protein as well. Just put it all in a bottle and shake it. McGregor had to join a Facebook Ghostbusters page fan group to find somebody who could put this proton pack together, all together for him. So it's,

he went above and beyond to get that. I just, I just have images of McGregor wearing his fucking Ghostbusters pack around his house by himself. I was going to say, what is he using it for? What's he literally using it for? He reckons,

he reckons he like, and he got it not long, I think the uh the the the pandemic so i think he planned to wear it to you know like cause you know uh comic conventions and cosplay conventions oh cool but he hasn't had a chance to do it yet because we're in a fucking global uh pandemic so i just like the idea of imagining lu Luke walking around his house with a Ghostbusters pack. Why not? Did you guys ever, when you were younger, did you get into having movie posters on your wall?

Oh yeah, I used to get them from the video shop. Well that was going to be my question to you because I always when I was a teenager, loved the idea of having movie posters on the wall. What a cool, sophisticated thing to do and every video store was different but they typically have the little bin out the back of the old movie posters on the wall. Like what a cool, what a cool sophisticated thing to do. And every video store was different, but they typically have a little bin, like at the back of like the old movie posters that had been up in store.

But the ones near me, it was always like any movie that was like half decent, the people that work there had just snapped that up either from the, for themselves or for relatives or whatever. I was going to say, or you have to put in the request and they might put your initials on the back of the post. Yes.

That's what we used to do. Yeah. People would bags it straight away. Like people would come in the day you'd, oh, you have to put in a request and they might put your initials on the back of the poster. That's what we used to do, yeah. People would bags it straight away. People would come in the day you'd put up a Harry Potter poster. Oh, I want that for my room. So you just put their name on the back. But I was so like, I just loved the idea of having movie posters on my wall. Like not even just as a sign of I like this movie, but more as a sign of like, I'm cool.

I'm movies. Yeah, I'm into movies. I like movies. So I as a sign of I'm cool. I'm movies. Yeah, I'm into movies. I like movies. So I would just take what I could get. So my teenage bedroom had posters for movies that I

made in Manhattan. Not a million miles off I had Dude Where's My Car. I had some very bad Nick Cage action film from the time that I can't even remember what it was.

8mm. Oh, maybe. Maybe 8mm. Great show. Maybe. But half of them I hadn't even seen. I just like like i'm a cool guy that has movie posters up here but surely if you wanted the movie posters themselves aren't the cool thing like it's it's the the movie like i'm a cool guy because i got to do with my car and my fucking wall i mean there's a's a flaw in that logic. To me, they were, though.

It didn't matter what it was. It was just the fact of having one was like the cool thing in and of itself. It was irrelevant what was on the piece of paper. But I disagree. I think if you had have played out this thought, okay, I think movie posters are cool. I'm going to put them on my wall. Surely the next thought is, okay, what are some cool movies to put on

those walls? You should have kept going. Your logic was sound early and then it fell away. I'm with you. It was like, these are the movies I want and then I get down to the video shop and those posters aren't there. Then I'm like, well, in my

head, it's worse to have no movie posters on the wall than to have posters of movies that I don't necessarily like. At least I'm like, well, in my head, it's worse to have no movie posters on the wall than to have posters of movies that I don't necessarily like. At least I'm in the conversation. At least I'm in the realm. I'm Tommy Dassel. I'm a seven-year-old kid. Yes, I will have that poster of Cocoon for my bedroom wall.

I want a big picture of Don Amici's head just above my bed. Little Nicky was up there. I think I had one for The Transporter, which was a film I actually did like. That was a grail. Jason Statham. Yeah, that was a grail piece.

The day that I found that in the bin out the back of Video Easy, couldn't believe my life. What poster did you want? I can't remember what would have been. What was your favourite film growing up? What did little Tommy Dasolo? Oh, I guess like Fight Club was like the big grey one of that era because it was like R-rated.

This is when I was like 16 or so, so it was like not quite able to have seen it yet. We had a rule in the video shop of if a kid... If it's your first day in the video shop, you have to fight. Yes. If a kid came in wanting to rent something like Fight Club or any R rated film the official rule

from head office was you're not allowed to give it to them but if it's an important film like Fight Club we'd always just go because they would

hire it under their mum's name or something so you'd just be like there you go Marilyn make sure your son doesn't watch it what does important mean? How do you classify what's important

and what's not important? Whether a film's awesome or not, pretty much. Really? Fight clubs. Everyone should see fight clubs. This is an important porno. Anal Addict 6 is the best since the first. I never got a kid bold enough to just try the porno.

Yeah, the ones that, you know, when they had the R rating at the bottom and say high-level violence, the pornos always said, mainly concerned with sex. Yeah. So you had pornos in your shop? Yeah, we had the Flint Bones, Married With Hormones. Oh, yeah, nice. Some classics.

Yeah, what else? Oh, then there was, you know, Crazy Like a Fox, the other side of Serenity. Yeah. My mum rented Fight Club for me from the video store, like, went in with her and she was, like, basically doing that, like, talking to the guy behind the counter about, like,

is this just, like, smart or is it an actual? And the guy's like, no, no, no, it's a really good film. And mum's like, oh, is it going to be too full on for him? And the guy behind the counter goes to me, look, I think you'll get it. Have you seen Me, Myself and Irene? And I go, yeah. And he goes, what's that about? And I'm like, it's about a guy with split personalities.

And he goes, yep, that's basically what this is. You'll get it. He gave away the fucking ending. Yeah, I get to the end of it. I'm like, you cunt. Like if he did that deliberately That's fucking I would have fired that guy Yeah that's

That's bullshit Brutal stuff When you were working At the video store When you were working At the video store Danny Was that back in Was that around a time

Where almost every horror film Was banned in Queensland Oh We did have some of those On VHS Yeah yeah Did you have a copy of that I spit on your grave Yes we certainly did That was banned in Queensland Yeah that That's so weird Because that one Oh! We did have some of those on VHS. Did you have a copy of that? I Spit On Your Grave?

Yes, we certainly did. That was banned in Queensland. That's so weird, because that one, that was marketed as very proudly banned in Queensland. That was the bigger than the actual title on the cover. They stabbed a lot of peanuts in that video, and they're like, fuck this. This can't be seen in King of Roy.

They're back open. COVID doesn't seem to be affecting them anymore, but this is making me feel a lot better about it. Knowing that once upon a time, they couldn't get their hands on some movies.

Yeah, what was it about Queensland? Why were things banned in Queensland? It was Joe Bjorki-Peterson. He was very... The Premier was

very strict about stuff. Yeah, he was very... What's the... Puritan. Puritan. Big fat cunt. It's from the same

city as Harley Breen. So, you know, Protestants. Okay. My pee's in a pod. What about this? I knew that having paid on, we were going to be talking about movies a bit today.

And of course, you know, everyone in Victorian, around the world to varying extents, people are in lockdown, people are doing a lot of watching movies and stuff at the moment. So I've put together what I thought could be a fun idea for people listening. I've put together the Dum Dum Film Festival. I've picked five films that have things in them that kind of align to things that we've talked about on the podcast in recent memory

that I thought people might like doing this in the week. I've tried to pick good films that people might enjoy going back and seeing for the first time or revisiting. Is this an idea where people watch them all in one day and just try and, you know, give themselves like a Sunday where they get up in the morning and, you know, pay too much for popcorn they already own and then watch all of these? Yeah. Get a, if you live alone, get a, you know, it's been hard being in isolation, get a,

get a box of popcorn, drill a hole in the bottom of it. Yeah. Don't reach down. Forget about the movies. Yeah. Just take care of yourself will be like a fun little treat. Yeah. So I've picked kind of things that,

like movies that have like a kind of a thematic link to things from the world of the podcast. Now, yeah, Pete and Danny, you're obviously both pretty big movie buffs. I'll give you what the theme was and what I picked. And if you can think of any better ideas that link thematically to this, then off the top of your head,

then feel free to jump in. Before you read them out, I imagine people can email you and, you know, of course, the hole at the bottom of the popcorn, I need to know if anyone's actually done that. Yes. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like an urban legend in a way. The salt would

sting. Has anyone carved out a hole at the bottom of a popcorn and masturbated in the film through their butted popcorn? Why are you supposed to get your date to reach in to get the popcorn and there's your schlong? For bonus points, have you ever stuck your

dick in a chalk top and like tried to do the same thing? Not boysenberry, that'd be gay. And also write it and just tell us who's the hottest girl you've had sex with. And just photos, nudes, whatever. Any pictures of Pamela Anderson you see on Google, send them in. I tried that trick with a a cup of coke

actually it doesn't work with a cup of coke he just he just he just he just ended up with a wet

a wet groin yeah it keeps keeps your dick up all night as well yeah I wonder if there's any good stories

from people who work at the who work at the cinema and like the most brazen acts they've seen. Someone ordering a large popcorn and they've got the hole punch with them ready to go.

Hole punch? Just BYO-owned carton. They're just like, hey, can you just chuck it into this one for me? Can you at least pull your pants up as you're ordering the popcorn? Just asking the person behind the counter. I've got large popcorn. Do you do the holes yourself or do I have to do that?

Is that extra? Yeah, yeah. Just the medium one, please. It's not a good day. Can you hold the butter and put lube in instead? Is that possible? Can you do that? All right. in instead? Is that possible? Can you do that? Alright, so

okay, here's my I picked five. The Little Dumb Dumb Club Film Festival. Okay, so number one, first cab off the rank. Pete, you might not be familiar with this, but this was a thing that was discussed on the show for a couple of weeks in a row.

Carl having a couple of run-ins with public defecating while he was on a late-night run. Pretty jokers. We've talked about it. Yeah, exactly. They haven't caught me yet. They've caught some others of my ilk, but I am still undefeated.

Yep. So I wanted to pick... It would be remiss of me to not have a film included that's got that in some way featured in the film. Yeah. And so I thought Bridesmaids has a classic. Okay. A classic shitting in the street scene.

Yep. Yes. Couldn't, I did have to, I mean, my Google search history now is just fucked because I've been Googling movies that have prominent shitting in them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of other ones like Dumb and Dumber. There's a lot of diarrhea scenes, but none that happen, there's not too many that come to mind

that happen in public. I love it. I love that movie and I love that scene. Melissa McCarthy shitting in the sink as well. We always concentrate on the shitting in the street, but Melissa McCarthy shitting in the sink and saying look away, look away,

I think is the highlight of that scene. I personally love... You're a bit of a public shitting snob by the sound of it in movies. I am a massive fan of hearing stories about people shitting themselves. And I'm literally talking about, I've spoken to a few people about the gauge their interest in whether they would listen to a podcast if I put together a podcast about people telling stories about shitting their pants. Well, you can book me in for Eps 1 through to 4, I think, at the moment.

I was going to say, I've got a few up my sleeve, but they're not up my sleeve anymore. You don't even have to record the pod. You can just license a couple of episodes of this if you want. You can just put a few webcams around Hawthorne and, yeah, tape it. I wouldn't mind getting the data on those episodes just to see how they performed compared to other Dumb Dumb episodes so I can go in with some analytics.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, so Pete, at the start of lockdown and isolation, there was a discussion on the podcast about a conversation that me and my girlfriend had had about her potentially pegging me. Do you know what that is? Now, pegging, when I was going to parties when I was a young buck, pegging used to be, so I'm not sure if it's changed. I've got a feeling it has been changed.

But pegging was the literal act of putting a peg on the back of somebody's clothes. Merrick Watts, I think, actually maybe invented it. But we'd be like in parties. Well, someone else has expanded it. Believe me, Pete. It is quite different to your granddaddy's pegging. So this came up recently, and it's a sexual thing, I am assuming.

Is that right? Yeah, I'm glad you do know that because, yeah, given that I started that as it was a discussion about something we might be doing in a relationship, I was like, how fucking boring do you think our relationship is? Put a peg on me clothes. Yeah, that's kinky. That's better than what we've been doing.

So remind me what pegging is. But shout out to Merrick for inventing putting a peg on someone's jumper. It's quite a Thomas Edison of the 90s there. You put it on the clothes. Now, not when they're on the clothesline. That's the key. As long as they're on the clothesline. You're a madman. But that's what we invented it for.

Merrick and Rosso, mad cunts. Radio has come a long way since then. Yeah. No, it's the lady in the relationship wearing a strap-on and then anally pleasuring her male partner with it. That's right. We did a story on the project last week about that. What was Pricey's take on it?

And I already know the film you're going to suggest. It's A Wonderful Life. Great pegging scene. No, I've not seen this film, but this comes up when you Google, again, my search history just completely fucked. List of films that have pegging scenes in them. Is Deadpool.

Ryan Reynolds' character gets pegged in Deadpool. Have either of you guys seen that film? I have, but I really hated it, so I blocked it from my memory. I didn't know that. Yeah. I'm with Danny, though. I do seem to remember James Stewart

being pegged in It's a Wonderful Life. Because every time you stick a dildo up your boyfriend's ass, an angel gets its wings. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and the Ghost of Christmas past or whatever keeps bringing people back to their time where they don't have a big plastic thing up their ass

and going, see how shit your life would have been? My major memory of Deadpool is not long after it had come out, like a week after it had come out, I was down in Tasmania doing gigs and the guy that they got to pick you up from the airport, well, the guy who ran the gig in Hobart, he comes and picks me up from the airport and we're just driving along and he goes have you seen deadpool yet and i go no and he goes oh mate i've seen it three times already funniest fucking

film i've ever seen it had been out for like three or four days at that point and then he's like we get to the hotel where i was staying and it was like a couple of hours before i could check in and he's like oh what do you want to do for a couple of hours before I could check in and he's like, oh, what do you want to do for a couple of hours before you can check in? And then his eyes just light up and he goes, we could go and watch Deadpool. No, I've got a bit of work to do. I think you might go on a massacre if you watch this film for a

fourth time in one calendar week. Yeah, I got it built up like that to me as well. That it's just the best, funniest superhero thing ever and then all the you know, no film can withstand that. Yeah. But it's got a pegging scene in it. So I'm forced to stand.

My memory as well, isn't Marty McFly trying to get back to get the dildo from Doc's ass? Isn't that... Okay, maybe this can be an open choice for the listener. Whatever tenuous link you can find to somehow work the theme of pegging into the plot of the movie, you can watch whatever you want there. If you don't have at least nine inches of a dildo in your ass,

the bus blows up. Okay, yeah, this is open choice. This is open choice. We need to get this alien home because he has a dildo shoved up his arse. All right. Hang on. Planet of the Apes we all had dildos up our arse the whole time

Fight Club it was the same arse put it up my arse again Sam you know he never says that they always say it's a misnomer make me come with a dildo up my arse in Manhattan you come to me on theo up my arse in Manhattan. You come to me on the day of my daughter's wedding.

The third rule of Fight Club is don't talk about the dildos up the arse. Okay, this next one, this is a bit of a... Okay, bear with me on this one. The Lizzie McGuire movie. Has a pegging scene. No, no, no. The theme for this one. The Lizzie McGuire movie. Has a pegging scene. No, no, no. The theme for this one is the Lizzie McGuire movie because she is a teenage girl, which is what my voice is commonly described as sounding like.

And it's set in Italy, much like my fake surname. Right, right. Okay, yeah. So I thought that was kind of a... That's kind of the perfect blending together of the Tommy Dasolo story, the Lizzie McGuire movie. Let's go back to pegging jokes. Come on, boys, a teenage girl, what have you got?

I'm ready for my pegging, Mr. DeMille. I am big, it's my ass that got small. I'm just glad I was not a teenage girl in Greece. Italy's a lot safer i um i if you don't want to watch lizzie mcguire may i recommend uh if for those who may actually partake in the dumb dumb little dumb dumb uh club uh movie festival um is uh mean girls is a good one um uh and with lindsey low and the one good film that she made before she went off the rails. No jokes, but just a bloody good film. Better than Lizzie McGuire.

Really good film. It is great, yeah. Yeah, correct. Well, there needs to be some Italian in there, though. Maybe someone eats a pizza. She comes back from Africa, where she had lived, and Africa is reasonably close to Italy

all right he's got us he's got us over a barrel there all right I wanted to get something in there about about soccer I was trying to look up good soccer films because of course you're going to like the Liverpool was a bit of a thread that we had going on for this year. I couldn't find anything, like, specifically Liverpool that seemed very good. But I thought, what about Mean Machine? Have you ever seen Mean Machine? No, what is it? It's a bunch of inmates playing on a soccer team.

It's Vinnie Jones. So it's like Longest Yard. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think, actually, it is kind of a reboot of Longest Yard, actually, Danny. I think you're right. What about Bend It Like Beckham. I think actually it is kind of a reboot of Longest Yard actually, Danny. I think you're right. What about Bend It Like Beckham? I mean, it's... What about She's the Man with Amanda Bynes?

Yeah, yeah. I mean, those movies are a bit like... Bend It Like Beckham's pretty light and sunny and I just thought the intense full-on prison dynamic kind of suited the Carl Chandler temperament a little bit more. I was trying to work the personality a bit more into the film choice. I have to say I hate seeing soccer in any movies because you just, you know, you've got, it's just so unrealistic.

I don't know if one person could make a sports movie that's realistic would be awesome. Teen Wolf, two words. Raging Bull. Even if you go back and watch Raging Bull, you go, this is bullshit. This is like they're swinging and missing and there's no you know all the movie you know what every Rocky movie you watch Rocky

and you watch it for half an hour and everyone's saying oh Rocky Balboa the greatest boxer of all time and then he goes out there he does not make one defensive move in seven movies he's leaning with his chin the whole time there's some Russian cunt smashing him in the fucking chin for 90 minutes and then he just wakes up

and like bops him in the nose and it's game over. He does not block one punch in seven movies. I agree. I think the Rocky films are a bit unrealistic in that. What about Basketball? That is a very accurate representation of the noble sport of basketball. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They really stuck to the script on that one. It's one of my more favourite sports movies, for sure. There are some sports that are suited to film adaption. American football, Gridiron is one of the perfect films.

Sports, any given Sunday is a great one. Basketball's not that great as far as, you know. Baseball's good. Baseball's a good one. Major League, nothing wrong with Major League. I'm genuinely surprised that no one has attempted to make an actual cricket movie because cricket would work cinematically because there's all the stops start

and a lot of tension. Slow enough, yeah, that you can film pretty accurately. Yeah, but there'd be Bollywood movies, though, surely. Oh, yeah, Brett Lee's in one. Yeah. There'd be a lot of, like, you know, Bollywood version cricket movies where all of a sudden Alan Borda started dancing down the middle of the pitch and stuff.

Surely. Surely there's a bit of, like, you know, Mark Waugh doing some flamenco-type dancing. There'd have to be. And, okay, the final film for the Little Dum Dum Club Film Festival, the closing night program, you could say, it has to be on there. It stars the neighbour of one Tommy Dasolo. It's the Wog Boy.

It's got to be on the list. Pete, you don't know this, but Tommy Dasolo lives... We're a very greasy stones throw from Nick Giannopoulos right now. Do you know Vince Colosimo used to come into my video shop? It's true. Mate, this guy lives. Basically, he basically

lives on the top bunk. What a nice link. Of Nick Giannopoulos. Geoffrey Rush also as well. Rove McManus came in a couple of times. Always got wrestling VHSs. Shock. So does

do you have much to do with Nick, Tommy? I've seen him out in the street a handful of times. But yeah, we've been talking about it more and more on the pod, the fact that he lives so close to me. And yeah, we're trying to work out does this end in us having him on the show? When the apartment block has their annual comedy night,

do you never sort of have anything to do with him then? Oh, I should organise a street party. It's not so common, so close to the city. But organising like a street Christmas party. Maybe that's the way I get my in. For sure, lots of parties happening at the moment. You should definitely get behind one of them. Christmas time. It'll all be over by then. We're going to

have it sorted out by Christmas. So that's it. That's the program. It's a good program. My fond memory of I don't have a lot to do with Nick, but I quite like Nick. He goes for it.

I was at the Melbourne Cup once in a marquee. And it was 1999 or 2000 because Phantom Menace had either just come out or was, you know, still a big film. And I kind of was introduced to Nick and this lady he was speaking to. And she was like a, you know, I think she was a model. She was like... Stripper. Possibly.

But she was gorgeous. And Nick didn't... I don't think Nick was appreciating me being there. I'd just kind of been brought over and introduced. And for some reason, Star Wars came up and Phantom Menace and Nick's contribution to that discussion was... How on earth did that come up? I don't know.

I completely forget. Maybe because it was just released or it was in cinemas or something and Nick's contribution to that discussion was, you know George Lucas? He's Greek. That was it. Yes.

Yes. Star Malaccas. Yeah, yeah, there we go. All right. Luke, I'm your father, eh? You know, all that kind of business. Luke, I am your nonna. Look at that.

Look at that. There we go alright that's good that's good advice if we get him if we get him on the pod maybe that's how we kind of like

butter him up we just bring up other famous Greeks and we'll be we'll be off racing Socrates he was Greek anal

that's Greek that's the common ground between us and that's the that's the point we can meet in the middle of, the Venn diagram between Dum Dum and Nick Gianopolis. Anal. And it all comes back to pegging. It's a circle of life.

It sure does. All right, we'd better wrap it up there for another week on the Little Dum Dum Club. Danny McGinley, Pete Haley, thank you very much for joining us. Thank you. Of course, Pete's podcast, You Ain't Se nothing yet it's out right now it's got a bunch of friends of the show on it as we speak including me i'm on it this week if you're listening to it this week get out there and listen to that i have something to plug i've got my my

comedy special with you guys heckling uh is up now on nextUpComedy. So NextUpComedy.com slash Danny McGinley gets you on there. And also my podcast, they came to play me, Limo, Tess Armstrong, talking footy every week. Great. Check all those things out. I do have one more thing, Tommy. I am plugging a travel book in a global pandemic. So it's something my wife and I had written last year.

It's called Tripping With Kids. It's to encourage parents to not put off traveling with their kids. It's genuinely, I'm really proud of it. It's a great book. Did not mean for it to be released in a global pandemic, but hey, you know, this is going to end. This fucker's going to go away and, you know, we'll be travelling again. You can still read it when you're just going around the block.

It's fine. It still works. Absolutely, absolutely. There's plenty of trips you can do in Australia. Not in Victoria, obviously, but the rest of Australia, you know, you can enjoy and there's lots of tips. I do like the idea of Rush releasing a travel guide during the pandemic. Just Lonely Planet, the milk bar. Yeah.

Or a shoestring. All right, guys. Thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mate. And they've done it again, as they say in the classics. Great call, Tommy. Great call. I was wondering how you were going to sum that episode up.

I think you've nailed it. I think you've nailed it. I think you've nailed it. That's a good little postscript to that episode. I thought, what do I think about this? And when you said that, I thought, you know what? Good. Good idea.

Yeah. Really captures the essence of what was going on in there. I've just listened back to it the whole hour of it, and the words were kind of circulating. I was kind of writing a whole bunch of different phrases down on a blackboard as I was listening and then kind of I'd get another five minutes in and go, now that phrase isn't appropriate anymore. And then, you know, there were just a few words left on the mood board at the end of it and lo and behold, they've done it again.

You know what, I feel like anyone that's just come in on the end of the episode right then, they don't even need to listen to the rest of the episode, the earlier part now, because there's no spoiler alerts. You've sort of given the game away. It's summed up the episode. Bang. It's like the cliff notes of the podcast right then. They've done it again. Okay, done.

I don't need to listen to the first hour. Maybe there are people out there that that's how they consume the podcast. They're like, why bother listening to the guests talk when you can just fast forward through an hour and hear the summary at the end? You get it all summed up for you in about 35 seconds. So, you know, who's got the time to waste? Yeah, that's a good point.

Maybe there's probably a lot of listeners out there that don't listen to the first bit for enjoyment. They're just sort of, they care for us and they're genuinely just thinking, fuck, I hope they do it again. I really hope they do it again. Right. They just want to know the result.

They're just pushing us over the line. They don't want to know how we do it. They're just hoping we get through it and do it again. And if you can – if they can just hit that point and find out the result, they don't need to know, you know, what's in the dish. They just need to see the dish at the end. So they're people that are bigger fans of the boys in Talking Dum Dum than they are of the boys in the little Dum Dum Club.

So if they're listening to the episode and it starts to get a bit dicey, they're worried that we're not going to be able to say that they've done it again. They're like, boy, I hope these little Dum Dum Club clowns get their fucking act together so that the Talking Dum Dum fellas have something good to discuss at the end of the episode. Yeah, or maybe sometimes it's like me, you know, like being a big, you know, Liverpool Premier League soccer fan, sometimes like the match will be on in Australia time, it'll

be on in the middle of the night, it'll be like a 3am kick-off or something, you wake up in the morning and you go, right, now do I ignore all the scores in the, you know, ignore social media, try and keep away from any spoilers and just watch the match replayed from the start, or do I just see the score right now and then go back and watch it later? Sometimes if I see the score, I'll go, well, what's really the point in going back and watching it if I already know the score? So maybe it's a little bit like that.

Maybe some people are using it like that, going straight to see. They've done it again. Okay, well, why bother go back and listen to the rest of it? It sort of gives it away. Yeah, wonderful stuff. And now over to the sports desk. What's Benny got to say about this? From sports to sports.

From one sports desk to another sports desk. It's just two of them side by side. Yeah, multiple sports desks. Just lined up in a circle around the studio that the camera is constantly just panning along to the next one until it's done a full circle back to the main news desk. It's just like a classroom with like 28 desks in there. They just keep going different from desk to desk that has the same thing. That'd be great if it was like on the Weather Channel.

At the end of every show, doesn't matter what weather program it is, 28 minutes in they go, and now to weather. And they just cut to a different weather person. That would be good. No, it should go the other way, shouldn't it? If it's the Weather Channel, shouldn't they go, and now to the news desk. What happened today? And they just give like a minute summary.

Or maybe in the way that the weather functions on the real news, maybe the news desk on the Weather channel gives a bit of a prediction of what they think is going to be happening in the news tomorrow or maybe they just like they set up like a new show and they have like just a minuscule amount of news they just just have one story at the start that goes for five seconds ago oh well welcome to the news um today there was a massive announcement but there's been an exclusive. Let's cut to the weather department right now. And then it's just 29 and a half minutes of weather.

And they either don't address the news at all or it's like a real behind the news, like BTN sort of really dumbed down version that goes for about 10 seconds. We're at war. There's a virus. Anyway, let's get to the important news, whether it's going to be 16 and fine in Orrbost today. Yeah. I mean, none of us are allowed outside tomorrow, as of tomorrow, for another six weeks.

But hypothetically, if we were allowed outside, should I pack a cardigan? Yeah. Yeah, we're in Melbourne. And as of recording this, we are about to go in lockdown mode. But, yeah, tomorrow, if you're going to look outside, what should you dress like to just look at the weather? Should I chuck my sunnies on before I turn my gaze towards the window?

Yeah. That's a tough sell at the moment, being a Victorian weatherman. There's not really a lot of reason for you to be kept on the payroll of the local news, is there? You know what there's a market for? There's a market for a weather show to let us know what it's going to be like inside. Yeah. It's a tough gig.

I might start doing that at the moment. My heater in my house is broken, and I can't really have anyone come in to fix it because of restrictions. So, yeah, that throws a real spanner in the way. to fix it because of restrictions. So, yeah, that throws a real spanner in the way. You know, I'd like to think I could turn it on and keep the temperature at a level that I dictate, but fuck knows what I'm going to get when I turn this thing on. So I could actually use a weather report from the heater

about what kind of shit-ass job it plans on doing at the start of each day. Yeah. Have you, you know, speaking of the conditions, I don't love talking about, you know, the current situation. I like these episodes to be timeless. I don't like to talk too much about, you know, the virus and what we're going through because I just imagine people finding this show in two years' time

and hearing all this virus talking. Fuck, this is so 2020. Who gives a fuck? But I would like to know this. I'm obviously with my little family here, and we're going to be in lockdown together, whereas you're by yourself, and you get to, as I believe, you get to have your girlfriend pop in and out and whatever.

I'm not talking about you. Yeah, Kramer style. She just has a key to my... She just gets to burst in, eat my cereal, and then tell me some wacky scheme she's got going on, and then fuck off. Tell you that you're out of milk, and then just go and fuck Newman down the block.

Every now and then I go to her. She's got a family of Japanese businessmen all sleeping in her cupboards. That's a Kramer plot, isn't it? Yeah, it sounds like that. Yeah. But I was going to say, I've sort of, I've very loosely thought about it, but I just wondered, I can't do this because my situation, I just wonder whether you can do it.

Have you pondered on an all-day drinking session? Have you thought about that? Like if you've sort of got, you know, your employment is this podcast so you you don't have like a nine to five job or anything like that and you don't have anyone else you don't have anywhere to go have you have you thought about just like letting go one day and just going all right let's let's crack open my first tinny at nine o'clock at 9 a.m and see where it takes me yeah me and my girlfriend were talking about the idea of doing that together at some point maybe just start but i don't know i think it would be it might be too grim it's one of those things that

seems like it would be a fun idea but you know if you get to like midday your natural thing would be you want to go somewhere you want to start kicking on and then you just fuck eyed at lunchtime and you've got to you know have a nap in the middle of the day, I think it's probably, it sounds like a better idea than what it is. Sure. Much like just drinking at home in general, which is something that I'm not, something I never did, but I'm doing it now.

I think everyone's kind of in the same boat. I know you're a big, you love to say that you never drink at home, but that's gone out the window. Absolutely. Yeah. It is funny how you – that's funny how you said that. You drink and then by 12 you want to go somewhere or whatever. That is a funny thing about drinking in general, I think,

is that, yes, it does cause that. And also just what I've learned or relearned or whatever by drinking at home is i'm i'm you know i've talked about this i sort of do the intermittent fasting i i don't basically i basically don't eat after about six or seven o'clock um but when i'm drinking all of a sudden it gets to 10 11 o'clock and you're just thinking gee eating would be the fucking best thing of all time it's's very strange how drinking brings that on, that longing for travel and longing for food as well. Yeah, yeah.

I haven't, I mean, the last few days, the news has been getting progressively worse and worse. So I have been drinking a fair bit at night. But that being said, drinking a fair bit at night in my house versus what I would drink as a fair bit when I'm out is still not, doesn't even get in the same ballpark. Oh, really? It's like me having a six-pack and going like,

yeah, that's a fair amount to drink just on the couch versus like if I go out for a big session, it's like, you know, we're talking like 10 pints from go to woe. Like it's not even in the same ballpark. Yeah. And so I haven't really been drinking enough on the couch to get that thing of like, fuck, I want to eat again. It's just kind of like, oh, well, bedtime now.

Whereas, yeah, if I'm out at the pub, it's like even if it's been a pub meal, probably an hour and a half after that, there'll be a slice of pizza on the way home. Yeah. No questions about it. Look, I think I agree with you in that last night I sat up. I have a bit of a routine where I sit up and do a bit of work and whatever and might have a couple of drinks.

And last night I thought, oh, I've had enough now and I'll go to bed. And I woke up this morning and I was like, oh, gee, I'm just a tiny bit dusty, you know. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I'm just a little bit slower than normal when I get up and then I walk out into the kitchen and go, oh, I drank two and a half beers. God.

Not a great thing to say when you go, oh, gee, I think I overdid it last night. Two and a half beers. Yeah. I think if I, like, in answering your question before, if I wasn't spending time with my girlfriend in lockdown, like if I lived alone and I was single, I reckon I don't think I would have had a thing to drink since March, probably.

Like I would not be drinking if I was here by myself without someone else around. Like I would have just probably spent most of the year not drinking at all and would probably be going, all right, I guess I just don't drink anymore. I guess this is just me having quit drinking forever because you can't have that long off it and then go back because you're just going to be fucking sideways off two cans. That's good. I guess what I'm trying to say is, has Bernie kicked a big one?

Oh, yes. From what I remember, yes. It's hard for me to remember after those two and a half beers. I barely remember last week now because of that big sesh that I had last night. What about this? So let's crack on into this bit now. We've been talking about this last few weeks. We do have a mailbox now.

We have an official post office box. It is the little dum-dum club. P.O. Box 6063. That's 60 plus 6 plus 3, 69. Uh, P.O. Box 6063, Hawthorne West, Victoria, 3122, Australia, the world, the universe. And so we've been talking about that. We've been getting some letters, some parcels, some bits and pieces like that,

and we've been starting to talk about it. And I can see, look, you know, the more we publicise this, of course, it's like, you know, my phone number, when that went out, the more you talk about it, the more we publicize this, of course, it's like my phone number when that went out. The more you talk about it, the more you encourage people to send stuff in. So I've got more things to talk about this week. Now, we're doing this over Zoom, so I can't give you these parcels to open or anything. So it's all happening on this end.

I'll be able to show you through the video monitor, obviously, but I'll have to be honest. obviously but um i'll have to be honest um but um yeah so i um i think what i think this is going to be an ongoing thing i guess is is what i'm thinking this is this is going to encourage more and more people to send stuff in so i thought maybe um you know i've always loved i've always thought we should have more segments in the show you know we're pretty freestyling it's just pretty riff tastic in here at dum-dum hq i i'd always like to have more segments but so i thought about that midweek and then i thought right well i'll have to go and get someone to get to make a jingle or make something like that and then it's just all you know it's all too hard so i thought maybe if i talk about it now maybe someone could submit a jingle. But in the meantime, I'll have this as a holding jingle.

And I quite like this anyway. So I'll play this into the microphone. And I thought, well, the most famous sort of mailbag sort of jingle I ever heard was I used to love Letterman, the late show. They'd have the CBS mailbag. So I just thought, well, maybe we'll just pinch that at the moment, if that's okay. So we'll start the – as long as we can rebadge this segment

as the CBS mailbag, we'll have to figure out what CBS stands for in our context. That's all. Yeah, go on. What's a word starting with C that we could possibly use? If anyone listening has any suggestions. What about this? Since it's a mailbag, since it's us getting sent presents,

what about CBS Cunts Bring Stuff? The Cunts Bring Stuff mailbag. Yeah, okay, there you go. Yeah, there we go. There we go. Okay, we're starting the segment now. We answer our viewer mail, and we do that simply by opening up the CBS mailbag.

Here we go. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. Letters.

Letters. All right, that's it. I don't think we need our own one. We can just use that. That's good, isn't it? He's not using it. Letterman's not using it anymore. Yeah.

So why can't we just have it? Also, like, you know, we've never cleared our opening song at the start of the show, so why should we clear this bit? Look, let's not publicly admit to that. Oh, sorry. No, no. What I meant is Aloe Blacc was absolutely fine with us using his song for 500 episodes plus.

Yeah, that's what I meant. Put that on the official, put that on the board. Yeah, and you know what? If Worldwide Pants want to track us down and get us in trouble for that, I'll be absolutely happy to hear from Worldwide Pants production company. So yeah, well, I'll send...

It'd be great if Aloe Blacc just kind of can't be fucked, hasn't been fucked to chase us down, but then Worldwide Pants get wind of this, and then if the two of them somehow link up together, so we have Aloe Black and Worldwide Pants versus the Little Dum Dum Club, would be fucking pretty great. A joint lawsuit.

Worldwide Pants buy out Aloe Black, and they just do a multi-lawsuit thing. They come after us. Yeah. Okay, right. Well, so us. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Right. Well, so let's crack into the mailbag. Now, we have had, yeah, we've had a few.

We've had a few bits of mail this week. This is so depressing for me. I'm on Zoom watching someone else open mail into a webcam. Yeah. This is... This is... I thought I'd gotten all the bits of mail. Oh, no, I have. I think I have. I think I've...

Fuck, what have I fucking done here? Alright. How many this week? Because the first week we did it, I think you had two things, or there were two things in there. Last week, there were three things. We had the station... the two different packs of stationery, and then the Birdie Beetle show bags. So, how many, how many items are we looking at this week?

I think we got, I've got three here. I've got a feeling I've left one behind. So, I think there was four. And we had a very nice letter from someone who didn't want to be named and stuff as well that was like – and this is the other cool thing. We think, oh, we've got an open track to listeners to send us messages on social media. There can be a bit of negative stuff on that.

All these letters have been universally extremely positive. So we should have done this years ago. Yeah, totally. That's great. We wouldn't have all these marks on our arms if only we'd had this postbox years ago. So let's crack into this. Now, fuck, I'm going to get in trouble here because the first thing I'm going to bring up is – oh, yeah.

Okay, this will be okay. This will be good. Grace has sent us a lovely letter, and she's also sent us a little parcel. Now, this is the best thing. I've been talking about this on social media, but, man, and we talked about it the other week, having the postbox, getting mail that's all, like, presence in the mail. Fuck, it's a good feeling.

Yeah. Just crack open the mailbox. Yeah, it's awesome. You've got one key. You're going to have to come up one day, maybe in the next couple of days before everything gets locked down, and do a mail run because it's just a great feeling to open up. I know. Yeah, I do want to, but I did worry that it doesn't fall under

an essential four reasons to leave the house. I didn't want to get pulled over by the cops and go, no, I actually needed to leave my house to pick up a bag of anthrax from the PO box that we have for the podcast that I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't think that that would fly. If it helps, 6063 is our sort of like little way of trying to say 69, if that helps, officer.

No? No? Yeah. Yeah. And you're not allowed to send the fine to that post office box because it's for nice things only, which you would know if you'd listened to the podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If you're going to get us in trouble, you're going to have to send us cake as well at the same time, officer. Did you finish your Birdie Beetle show bag yet, by the way? I didn't. I've made a pretty serious dent in mine. Yeah. I whipped that bag out the other night when my girlfriend was here and she was like why do you have this and i was like someone sent it to us for the podcast and she was like why and i'm like we just we just got a po box and we just publicized it and said just

send us nice things just send us gifts and she's like so this isn't a joke from the show this isn't a reference to anything just someone had these show bags and sent you chocolate and i was like yeah she was like, that fucking rules. That's so good. Yep. So, yeah. So, thank you to Grace who has sent us this. She's sent us matching key rings.

And I'm going to show you what they are in the camera right now and describe them for you with my theater of the mind. We've got little nice little key rings that are quite solid little bits of merchandise. And they are big metal love hearts with the word cunt on them. Very nice. In like a script, in a little sort of script font. Very fancy script. Don't mind that.

Yep. Don't mind that at all. They look like absolute classy except for the C-bomb that's within them. So very nice. So we've got one of them. I wonder if this was a, I wonder if she found them in a shop or whether she got them commissioned

by someone who makes pendants. No, they've been, she hasn't commissioned them. They're two, they don't look like they're, they're sort of one-offs or anything like that. They're solid, they're solid bits of gear, surely. Well, Grace can let us know on the socials, but we'll put a picture up, but they look very nice.

So thank you very much for that, Grace. Which is also a very funny thing. Like, you know, if you're checking through mail and stuff and you just see this very, very, very complimentary nice letter and then you see what they've sent, you go, what the fuck is this? Is this being mixed up? This makes no sense.

Yeah, yeah yeah yeah um now a second bit of mail um is from bella um and she again she's she said a very nice letter i won't read all these letters but um very complimentary so big thank you um for the pod listens all the time um and look no she's she said stuff like, here, I've sent you this. No pressure. You don't have to use it. You can put it in the bin if you want.

You know, I don't care. You can stick it up Carl's ass with his key rings. You can put it in the bin. You know, whatever you want. And I was like, oh, this is going to fucking suck. And then I... It's great when someone gives you permission to put something in the bin.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I go, oh, this you permission to put something in the bin and then i go oh this this is gonna suck this person and then what she's given us is a stamp with a self-inking like you know tray and whatever um you know so that we can just stamp this as a signature for like you know when we send merch out and whatever and. And she's made this little stamp, and it's made from a cartoon that you've drawn, and it just says, Oh, wow. Thanks, mate. Oh, that's awesome. And it's got a picture of me and you on it. But, yeah, but what's fucked about this is that she's,

so, like, yeah, she's taken a drawing that I've done, and the bit that's getting the ink on it is the bit that has the colour in it, so it's not the outline. So basically what you've just shown me looks like a drawing of the two of us in blackface. Yes, yes. Great.

So it's like a negative. It's like an inverse, like if you had a line drawing and then inverse of you and I. Well, the only other solution is if she inverses that and then we send all of our notes out on black pieces of paper from now on and write all of our notes with white out and then she can send the stamp with just the white features of us and put them on there yeah i don't mind that at all that's a lot of work that's a lot of work um anyway that looks awesome and also that will save yeah that looks

great one second um every time i send out a jumper or a hoodie or a T-shirt or a hat or anything like that. So that actually is really good. Thank you very much, Bella. Thanks, Bella. We'll close up the CBS mailbag on this last parcel, the third and final one this week. Now, I was planning on seeing you at some stage and doing this

and letting you open this one, but that's not going to happen at the moment. So I've now got a parcel that is specifically addressed to you. Oh, okay. Yeah, so if I can do the honours, I mean... Yeah, sure. Unless someone somehow got this information that you are co-using this PO box without knowing anything about the podcast and it's just an absolutely personal bit of mail, which I'd like to doubt. I'd like to think that – If I just start using it for my own just personal mail, great inconvenience to myself it's like two suburbs away

yeah yeah yeah and I know I've got access to it and you've yeah your video just dropped out for a second which is going to make this even more tricky but yeah we're back on yeah no you have my permission I was just trying to Ben Lomas was just trying to ring me that's why the video dropped out okay I was just trying to... Ben Lomas was just trying to ring me. That's why the video dropped there.

Ah, okay. I was just trying to work out a way that I could somehow still open it. I was just trying to think of like a system. Do you remember that old McDonald's ad where the kid had the little remote control car and he sent it from his room down to the McDonald's drive-thru? Just something like that where I send a little buggy down to your house that's got a little knife on the edge of it. Yeah, yeah.

And it just slices. And I'm controlling it from back here. We have to wait about 45 minutes for it to make the journey down to your house. But I don't have access to any tech like that. A little send over a drone. That won't get you into trouble. Just send a drone with a knife attached to it into Hawthorne. It's for a parcel.

If someone wants to post us a drone to the PO box, it's about time that we had an official little Dum Dum Club drone of the podcast that we could just kind of, you know, we can't, we're at the moment, we can't get content for the show by living our lives out in the street. So if we just took that thing for a bit of a fly around and just got our stories that way, that would be a pretty good solution. If I could, instead of like looking at the Koh Samui webcam every day, if I could just sort of create my own Hawthorne webcam via drone,

that would be pretty cool. All right. So I'm not doing a great job of showing you what's going on at the moment here, Tommy, because I've got to get this in shot. But this parcel is quite big. It's a big parcel. Whoa. Yeah, okay.

And once again, it's an Amazon. Yeah. It's got the Amazon tape around it. Yeah. Yeah, it looks pretty impressive. It looks very impressive. And I've got no scissors or I haven't thought enough to bring in a knife or a pair of scissors into my bedroom to record this.

So now I've currently gone through two big pens trying to open this parcel. Trying to slice open the... Yeah, with a biro. All right, all right, all right. I'm pretty close. How are you going? Are we making progress here? Oh, man, we are making such progress.

I've got this... I've nearly opened half a box. Pretty cool here. Okay, yeah. I'm really excited. How heavy does it feel? Does it feel like whatever's in there is kind of rattling? Because it's a half a box. Pretty cool here. Okay, yeah. I'm really excited. How heavy does it feel? Does it feel like whatever's in there is kind of rattling? Because it's a relatively big box.

Is whatever's in there rattling around a bit, or is it sitting pretty flush in the box? It's an A4 by, you know, probably 12-inch sort of box. Here we go. I've got it open. I've got it open, Tommy. Loving all the sort of packaging in here that just these days, it's just there's so much shit in here that keeps things safe.

Oh, yeah, those bags that they fill up with air. Oh, I love it. Yet again, someone has gone to great expense to send us something that's worth about three cents. There's like six packets of noodle soup. Oh, yeah, ramen. Instant ramen. I actually have a packet of that exact type in my pantry at the moment.

Right. And that's a gift from Oscar. It says, get some ramen in you, Tommy. Thanks, Oscar. Thanks, Oscar. Fuck. Buying two-minute noodles noodles via amazon what a world you know what um you know what's good that i've been making a lot recently a recipe that i got

out of a book it's like a good way to kind of um pimp up a very basic um packet ramen noodle is that you cook it as per the packet then you crack an egg into it turn the heat off and like let the fold the noodles over the egg so the egg into it, turn the heat off and like let the, fold the noodles over the egg. So the egg kind of cooks with the heat from the noodles. Then you put a slice of like processed American cheese on top. Then some chopped spring onions, some sesame seeds and like a little bit of butter into the soup.

Makes it fucking beautiful. You should try it with that packet that Oscar sent because I'm not going to be able to get it from you for a while. Really delicious stuff. I would never cut your lunch or eat your lunch, Tommy. So I can't do that. Well, you've just opened someone else's mail, which is a federal crime,

and I will be reporting this to the police. I've got you. I've been recording this Zoom call. I've got the video of it. I've got you fucking dead to rights here. You've also, when they bust in, they're going to find all these bits of blackface as well that I've been stamping

onto letters. These hate crimes that I'm sending out to people as well. It's not looking good for me. Turning the bedroom into a den of crime. Look, I'm calling it. Bella Wynn's gift of the week. Mail of the week. The stamp?

Yeah, the stamp is very, very good. Yeah. Gone beyond. They're all great. All very good. Don't get me wrong. They're all great, but anyone who's had to actually go out and get a thing kind of purposefully manufactured just for this,

that gets you a couple of extra points in my books. And it's big of me to count that as a better gift than someone sending noodles to someone that's not me. It was a tough one. It was a tough decision, but I've made the call. Thanks, everyone. Let's wrap up the CBS mailbag. I'm not sure if I thought enough.

I got the jingle for closing up the mailbag. Maybe I don't. No, I don't think I do. Yeah, that'll do. That'll do. I think I'll just play that again, surely. Is that what I do? I'll just play that same little bit again.

Yeah, let's I just shouldn't have played the opening bit. That's the CBS mailbag. Nice. All right, well, let's get into the other segment, of course, that we need to get around to within Talking Dumb Dumb. And that is... Yes. That is, thank you to everyone who subscribes to us on patreon patreon.com slash little dumb club it keeps this podcast alive it breathes air into our lungs in here into the con into the the content lungs um you give us monetary cpr every week um you drag us out of the um out

of the ocean of unemployment and you breathe that beautiful monetary oxygen into our bank-like lungs and keep us alive, bring us back to life. So thank you very much to everyone who does that. Of course, we also thank you by sending you bonus content every week.

At the moment, you're getting two eps a week, two bonus mini eps a week that have been a lot of fun. And also, of course, you get to take the chance of going into immortality by having your name read out in a little patron hall of fame,

as it were, every week. That's exactly it. There's been millions of people who joined that hall of fame already. I mean, of course, there's going to be millions. Sometimes you're reading at thousands per week.

It's going to build up to millions, isn't it? So let's see how many we do this week. Let's crack straight into it, I reckon, and hit the big red button on the unplanned title. Alternator for the first time this week, first cab off the rank is, thank you very much to Patreon subscriber, Will Jennings

Jennings? J-E-N-N-E-N-S I'm afraid that's not a name, Tommy Yeah, I thought, sorry I thought that that was some kind of error with the Zoom call on my end, I just heard you say that and I was like

the call must have glitched up for a second there because there's no fucking way there'd be someone getting around with a name like that but i know god almighty i stand corrected jennings yeah i think his name has coronavirus i think there's something very ill yeah not not right with the lungs of that i think his i think his name has dyslexia and doesn't know how to spell itself yeah yeah yeah i think i think I think Brett Blake designed this guy's family tree. I think his name is Jennings. It's really Will Jennings. It has to be Jennings, right?

Jennings. Do you reckon it's some dumb fuck? Grandpa was some absolute fuckwit, and that's just wrecked the family from then on. And, you know, of course, how many times has poor old Will, how many times do you reckon poor old Will has had to say, no, no, no, Jennings? Just that phrase.

How many times do you reckon he's said? Yeah. Oh, in the millions. Like, yeah. No, look, I can see why you would think that, because that is an actual name, and what I've presented you with is barely even a word, much less a name. But, no, I'm standing by initially what I've presented you with is barely even a word, much less a name.

But no, I'm standing by initially what I said. It is Jennings. Yep. How many times do you think he said – what's he said more? No, no, no. Jennings. Or? No, E-N-S.

I just don't think he could have one without the other. Yeah, yeah. I think there's no way that he's not saying both of have one without the other. Yeah, yeah. I think there's no way that he's not saying both of them at the same time. Yeah. I think he's probably also said, yeah, no, you're right. It should be Jennings. You're right. Hey, I'm with you.

Do you think he, every time he has to write out his name or sign his name, do you think he puts the little dots beneath it, like as if it's you know microsoft is saying this is not spelt correctly this is not right he can he just adds that to his writing oh you mean like the does he just constantly travel around with a little um red texter so that when he's written his name he draws a little squiggly line under it yes yeah he's got a permanent he's got a permanent, he's got like, anytime he's filling out a form, he's also got a few little kind of printouts of the Microsoft Word paperclip

that he can just stick down next to it with a little speech bubble saying, it looks like your name might be completely fucked. Yeah, yeah. Or he signs his name, W-I-L-J-E-N-N-E-N-S brackets, S-P question mark, end bracket. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Citation needed.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Speaking of the Microsoft paperclip, I feel like this is maybe something we've talked about in the past, but perhaps it's worth revisiting. I think it's high time that we had a mascot of the show oh yeah i've become really i've become really addicted to there's a twitter account that i love that um uh every day or so they'll tweet like a little japanese mascot the japanese love a mascot every every like area or store like no matter how small has its own little mascot Like there's thousands of them throughout the country. And it's just really like reinvigorated my love for the little cheerful

cartoon mascot. So I think we could have some kind of anthropomorphised, yes, I got it right, sort of mascot of the show. But I don't quite know what he should be what about what about i mean i'm going way too far you you're suggesting one thing and which would be a big leap all of a sudden i've i've leapt beyond that into what if we were like mcdonald's and we had the whole family straight away we had you know the equivalent of ronald we had the hamburger we had birdie we had mccheese we had um what else was there? Oh, Grimace.

A big fucking purple cunt. Yeah, yeah. That would be good. I mean, look, initially my thought is, you know, we have like a little talking burger. That's cute. That's like our little equivalent of like the, you know, when cartoonists have the little talking fucking, you know, bin or fucking pen or whatever it is in the tiny little corner of their cartoon. That's what we want.

That's what we want. A little guy at the bottom. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you know, when we, on social media, we'll put out a, like a graphic of like who's on this week, a picture of us with them posing with them, whatever. Here's who it is.

Episode 512. It's with Pete Hellyer and, um, and, uh, uh, Danny McGinley. And it's a picture of us. And then we have a little talking burger in the bottom corner that just goes, they've done it again or, you know, whatever. Love it. Love it. All right.

I'll do that up for next week. As of next week, we can start having that in the social media images. Great. I guess it should be a talking burger. The problem with that, though, is that it is really getting into McDonald's territory. a talking burger. The problem with that, though, is that it is really getting into McDonald's territory.

We are starting to get into some serious Mayor McCheese kind of potential litigation there. But they don't use Mayor McCheese anymore anyway. And they can't sue because we have a talking burger. They didn't invent talking burgers.

So it's like the CBS mailbag thing. They're not using it anymore, so we can just have it. Ronald. Ronald McContent. That's our new logo. That's our new mascot. People just hit us up.

Let us know what famous things are out there that aren't being used anymore, and then that's the way we can find new angles and mascots and music and whatever for this show. We'll just go through the bins and find stuff that other companies aren't using. Right. We can't have a talking jar of moose or something because people are just going to go, what the fuck is that? Is that a, did someone shit in a bin?

What, what, what's like moose is pretty hard to cut, to cartoonize, I reckon. Pretty hard to draw. Yeah. Okay. So we'll have, what's his name? Bergie. Bergie. We'll have little Bergie down the bottom of, down the bottom.

Tim, Tim the Burger. Yeah. Okay. We got Tim the Burger down the bottom of the social media posts from now on, just ripping out a bit of... They've done it again. Yeah. Tim the Burger or maybe Hughes the Burger?

Hughes the Burger. Mm-hmm. I don't know. Yep. Yeah. Anyway, people can suggest, but I quite like that idea. That's good. We'll workshop him during the week, yeah.

I thought you were going to say, because I do love the cartoonists that have their little mascot suggest but i quite like that idea that's good we'll workshop him during the week yeah i thought you were going to say because i do love the cartoonists that have their little mascot that just like pipes in down the bottom of the comic strip i like i liked the way of us the idea of us trying to do that in an audio medium where you can't just show him so we have to employ someone to do the voice of this character yeah so we've just every now and then you've got someone piping in off the back of a story going sounds like like a bit of a cunt, boys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't mind that. Thanks, Will.

Thanks, Will. Sorry about the rest of it. Real shame. Hopefully you're one of those weird people that get married to a girl and take their surname. Hopefully. And hopefully they have spelt their name right. Thanks anyway. thank you to patreon

subscriber daniel beaten beaten b-e-a-t-o-n now this is this is this is oh look you you go for this you you can have a free run of that to start with oh wow well you know seeing a bit more money come into the bank account, I think I'm going to be beaten off after this. Very nice. Very nice. Do you reckon he copped a lot of that? For sure.

No question. No doubt in my mind. I have a good friend with the surname Beaton, I have to say. And we have a certain nickname for him because he used to hang around our house when I lived in a share house in Ballarat, and we had another friend that would hang around, and we would call him Beatsy. His nickname was Beatsy.

Except for some reason, this other friend just heard it wrong the whole time and would just call him Batesy the entire time and knew his last name was Beaton, but then kept referring to him as Batesy. How the fuck do you get Beaton and then turn it into a nickname of Batesy? But of course, we went very quickly from ridiculing that guy for calling him Batesy to then absolutely calling him Batesy to then absolutely calling him Batesy for the rest of his life yep yep no surprises there yeah so Batesy thanks Daniel

Batesy thanks Batesy um but hey look um we can that's not the end of that we can continue with that if you like you know there's plenty of meat on that bone, surely. Yeah, I mean, I reckon he's... I don't think you're struggling. You're like, oh, I'm putting off the end. I don't want to, you know, that's it. Yeah, I sort of don't think. I don't think there is much more meat on the bone. I mean, you saying meat and bone,

I was like trying to formulate something into the, you know, into there, you know. Yeah. Working it down to the bone. Yeah, I think it's almost like a bit of a second wave of puberty. You have things happen to your own body, but then you have that thing of, like at school one day, someone's come up and gone, you know your name, yeah, Daniel Beaton, what's wrong with that? Beaten off.

What do you mean? And then it's like being told that Santa's not real or it's like growing hair down there or something. There's just some crucial point in his childhood where it's like, oh, this is what my name means for the rest of my life. It would be interesting to do a study. I'm sure you'd probably know about people like this from when you were at school do you think it would inspire you to never make new friends after school because you're like fuck

i'm gonna have to go through all that again you know what i'll just stick with these guys for the rest of my life because they're you know they've gotten it all out of their system they did it all at school you know i'm not gonna have to deal with someone at university going beaten oh yeah beaten off you know yeah but you know what i've got my own case study like i said i got a friend last name beaten and you know what i really it's a it's a good example of like being what being a good bloke can do because he's a good good guy. He's a funny guy. I don't think he copped that much from having that name. I really don't think he copped that much. So nice little advertisement for not being a complete fuckhead.

Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. I don't know whether it was just our absolute lack of skill and perception to just ignore that last name or whether it was just us going, nah, nah, he's all right. So what you're saying is this guy listening who's subscribed, this Patreon subscriber that we're talking about,

if he's copped it over his lifetime, that's proof, definitive proof that he's not a good bloke. Yeah, or he could be just waking up to it right now. He might be the best bloke of all time and we've led off with beating your dick and he's gone, what the fuck? I've never heard that before in my whole life. Yeah, what the...

Yeah. Yeah, okay, all right. This is the first time for everything. All right, first time I've heard that one. And it's just like he's just the best bloke that's ever lived. It's never gone within two of him. He pays money to a Patreon. He's a pretty good guy as far as I'm concerned.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, not too good of a guy because you let off with beating your little dick. Well, yeah, I mean, I was just trying to do my job. Yeah, that's fair. That's very fair. What are you supposed to do? Oh, Daniel likes Spaniel. Ha-ha, gotcha. Yeah, that's fair. That's very fair. What are you supposed to do? Oh, Daniel likes Spaniel. Ha ha, gotcha.

Yeah. Yeah, get him. Get him. Get him. All right, well, thanks, Batesy. Thanks, Batesy. You're either champ or absolute fucking idiot. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Steve Malpass.

Malpass. Yeah, Malpass. Malpass. Yeah. M-A-L-P-A-S-S. Is that where you'd go with Malpass or Malpass, do you think? One of them. Steve Malpass. I think Malpass. Yeah.

Is it like Steve, is it Hall Pass? Was that the movie? Was that the name of the movie, Hall Pass? Yeah. Is that the one where he gets to was it hell pass is it hall pass where where he gets to go and root whoever he wants or whatever is that what that was is that that movie yeah i mean that's a that's a concept that people have and yes the movie was called that and that was the concept of the movie. Right. Hall Pass. That's, I don't know.

I find it funny that the word hall is in that. Like, I don't know. Well, it's an American thing, right? Isn't it at school? It's the pass that you get to be roaming around outside of class time. You would often hear that in like sitcoms and cartoons. Like you need a hall pass to be able to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

To be able to go outside of the classroom. For sure. But it's like, I find that funny. It's like, oh, you're allowed to leave able to go outside of the classroom. For sure, but it's like, I find that funny. It's like, oh, you're allowed to leave the class to go to the toilet. It's not I'm allowed to leave the class to go and get my dick sucked. It's quite a leap to go from going to the toilet to getting to root whoever you want and your wife being fine with it. Well, you and I didn't attend um school in america maybe

that is what it means oh right any any united states listeners want to weigh in and let us know did you used to did you used to regularly fuck women in the in the bathrooms in the middle of maths class maybe that's a you know maybe that's a common part of the american school system yeah maybe um you sort of get a bit horny in the middle of geography. Can I get a hall pass, sir? Yes. And then you go out and stick your dick in the bubble taps. And that's all part of it.

Yeah, that's pretty cool. Have I ever told this to my friend? I didn't see this happen. He did this to another friend of ours. But they were in maths one day. I think this was in like year 10 or something. And he turned to this other friend of ours but they were in maths one day I think this was in like year 10 or something and he turned to this other friend of ours and went

I'm gonna go and have a wank and put his hand up and asked the teacher if he could go to the toilet and she goes yeah okay off you go he goes to the toilet and comes back 10 minutes later or whatever and sits down next to my friend and just does this

just does this, just goes. Does a big nod. Just does a big nod at him. Just does a big over-exaggerated nod at him. Like, yep, mission accomplished. We got him. He got off so easy. I thought for sure the end of the story was going to be,

I'm going to go and have a wank. And then puts his hand up, can I go to the toilet? Yes. And then someone just goes, he just told me he was going for a wank, sir. He's going to pull his foot. Oh, God. That would have been the best. Stitched up.

That would have been the best. That's one of those things that, like, at the time you having done that, it would have been World War III. And you probably would have really regretted doing it. I'm sure the mate would have been very shitty at him. And the sort of thing when you're that age that could really wreck a friendship forever yeah but looking back on it now as an adult i bet that friend wishes fuck that would have been such a sick story now if i had have done that yeah yeah no totally oh man i remember in high school um being being influenced

by a bad boy and like drawing drawing little and whatever. And this guy, this guy being like, oh yeah, check out this new girl over here. She's a fucking idiot. She was dribbling before. She was like dribbling out of her mouth. You should draw a picture of her like dribbling. And I was like, alright. And they just drew this cartoon of this girl

dribbling and then, you know, just to give it the extra bit of juice, you know, was drawing exaggerated features and drawing hair on her neck and all this gross stuff. Just going, check this out. And he goes, really fifing it up. Yeah. He just goes, great.

Picks up the picture, goes straight to the girl and goes, Carl drew this of you. See over here, this guy, he drew that. That's you on the picture. That's you. Very, very good stuff. Absolutely fucked me royally. All time fucked me. Yeah. There's not much more you on the picture. That's you. Very, very good stuff. Absolutely fucked me royally. All time fucked me.

Yeah, rough. There's not much more you can... Rough. Not too many more ways harder you can get fucked than that. That was fucking horrific. No. Not at all. Do you still have the drawing?

No, but I am married to that girl now. That's how we met. Well, it worked. You should thank this guy then. That's how we met. Well, it worked. You should thank this guy then. That changes the story completely. Well, no, it didn't quite happen. I'm married to the guy now. What if you got up and told that story at your wedding?

First of all, people are like, why is he telling us this? And then the reveal is, look, I was mad at my friend at the time, but it all worked out, and now I'm married to her. Just absolutely invent some fucked story about how you met your wife. That'd be great. Pranking your wife on her wedding day is what a great foot to get off on. Just the parents going, why would you do this? What's happening?

All right. Well, thanks. Who is this? Steve. This is another one we've gotten so far away from it steve hall pass mall pass malpass malpus whatever the fuck your name is um but we are both having um we are both taking hall passes to root you steve that That's what we're going to absolutely double team you in the disabled toilets in the middle of history. We're going to make your ass history. I'm going to have sex with this guy and my defence to my girlfriend

will be that his name sort of sounds like the word hall pass. So it's as if I had a hall pass from you to have sex with him. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah um and i'm gonna tell my wife i fucked a guy because we thought it would be funny and i think yeah i think that would fly imagine yeah because imagine yeah yeah because i'm married to you i'm not gay so it's very funny that i did this yeah i had an ironic

um hard-on so that so that's how that worked. Thanks, Steve. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Hoo Boy. Thank you to John Block. John Block. Wow. Wow. This is... This sounds like the most boring

action hero ever. Well, he's also like in the, you know, if you want to treat this part of the show like an improv game, which it kind of is, he really is blocking us here. Well, this could be the man with the keys to the H&R Block fortune. Oh, yeah. Okay. Would explain why he's sitting so flush, able to subscribe to Patreon.

Yeah. Makes a bit of sense. Yeah, okay. Would explain why he's sitting so flush, able to subscribe to Patreon. Yeah, just sending someone out, you know, claiming on this contribution to charity, writing this contribution off, absolutely. Could be, if all of a sudden we hear about H&R Block to change to H&R and J Block, then it'll be confirmed. Yeah. It's definitely this guy. This seems like one of those things where

like you know i'm trying i can't really think of a good example other than the one that i'm about to say but like there'll be things that you just that that you look into them in popular culture and then it turns out that they have an actual name that people don't really know about john block seems like the kind of thing that you would look up the lego man and find out that the the default lego man actually has a name you know what i mean like within the lore the lego man and find out that the the default lego man actually has a name you know what i mean like within the law of lego or whatever that like not that many people know about it but he's like referred to internally in the company as john block what about yeah yeah what about like because you always see like john smith on like fake credit cards and

you know if you find a dead body that like no one knows it's john doe what about john doe yeah we find out in the building industry if they haven't named a brick they call it john block that's john block that's the name of every brick so that's why quite often construction like there was a build there was a house being built behind my apartment when i moved in and it's taken it took basically two years to build and you know it's easy for me to sit here and go, what are they fucking doing over there? Why does it take so long to build this fucking house? But then once you realise that they're having to, before they build it, they're having to name each

and every single brick that's going into the foundation of the building, all of a sudden that time makes a lot more sense because that's a very time-consuming procedure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, you know when you see those buildings and you sort of think there's a lot of names on the bricks because people have contributed towards building the thing. It's like, no, no, no, no one contributed.

That's the names of the bricks. Yeah, the tradies all just sit around and they all just kind of, yeah, they have to work it out. They have to debate each and every single brick. Someone gets to suggest a name and they all kind of go back and forth and plead their case and someone might have an objection to it for a specific reason. It's a bit like if you think this bit of this podcast is tedious,

you should hang outside a construction site when they're doing that because it makes this look like art. Yeah, that explains why when you go into a bookshop and there's baby naming books, there's always brick naming books next to them. Yeah, right next to it. And they're often harder to... You might not have seen them because there's famously more construction sites

than there are babies. So the brick naming books fly off the shops. Probably most bookshops you've gone into probably wouldn't have even had them on the shelves, but they're on back order. They're constantly on back order. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, a lot of the times they don't even make it to the shelves because when they've built the bookshop,

they've had to use them on the construction of the bookshop. And once you've named a few bricks out of the book, you then have to set fire to the book. It can't be reused after that. That old trick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You don't want... Bricks are different from people. have to set fire to the book it can't be reused after that that old trick yeah yeah yeah yeah

yeah you don't want bricks are different from people you don't want some you know two bricks with the same name because it just gets confusing yeah i'm just loving the idea of someone a guy in a maternity ward his wife's giving birth and like you know he's holding his son in his arms for his first time he's like we're gonna call him adrian and then pulling out a baby naming book and just immediately setting fire to it in the maternity ward going won't be needing this as it just goes up in flames that would be a nice little ceremonial like you know white people don't have too many like kind of customs or traditions or anything like that it would be great to have that brought in yeah as a they put the um they put the umbilical cord in the book as a bookmark and then set fire to the lot of it yeah that'd be cool i'd like to see that take off yeah yeah

i can't say what wouldn't um all right thanks thanks john thanks john all right um now we do have to record a bonus episode straight after that and a guest that is going to be on that is has been uh messaging me on facebook wanting to hurry up and do it because of his very busy schedule of which that is an absolute lie he's fucking got nothing to do but anyway we better we better get on with it so all right we'll curtail this we'll just leave it at um however many dozen we've done this week. Let's just do one more and leave it at that. I think we've made a big dent into the hundreds of names of people

that are subscribing, that are hitting me up going, when are we going to be read out? Of course, I don't know. It's completely random, unplanned. So just one more one more cab off the rank for the week uh you ready to tell me if one more yep i i can't wait to hear this name great okay well you're about to thank you very much to patreon subscriber oh okay i'm not sure if this is okay i i again look, look, this doesn't seem to be a person but more a company.

I'm not sure if we've made a ruling on this or not, whether companies can subscribe to us on Patreon and still get something out of having your name because it's sort of like an ad, isn't it? Rather than just a charity. Yeah, true. But if they're paying, you know,

if they're paying, I'm fine. I'm fine with it. You know, we don't have to get the message across or tell people where they can get the thing. Just saying the name of it, you know,

I don't really mind too much. Yeah. Okay. All right. Thank you very, very much to Patreon subscriber, H&R Comedy. Okay,

cool. And what do they do? Do you know? Well, of course, at the end of every, end of every comedy year, you go in to get your comedy audited to make sure if it's all right

and whether you owe the government anything, whether you should be going to jail or not because of your comedy, whether you need to be given anything back, whether you owe the government money because of your comedy. Yeah. I've claimed a lot of mental illness on comedy over the years, so I'd like to think I'm getting a bit back this year. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, all right. Well, make sure you go there. I don't know who you usually go to to get your comedy audited, but if they're going to help us, I think it's only right that we we help them back yeah i actually do it all myself using uh myoc mind your own comedy right okay yeah yeah great yeah i am i just have boxes and boxes of like receipts that i keep for comedy but much more notes than i i take for my actual comedy but um yeah right right well that's you know that's how life works.

Well, thanks H&R Comedy and thanks everyone who subscribes and supports the Little Dum Dum Club on patreon.com slash littledumdumclub. Sign up now and you can get two bonus mini episodes every week. Hit the website for the face masks and the hoodies and all that sort of stuff. Hats, T-shirts. Previous episodes on there. Hats. all that sort of stuff. Hats, T-shirts. Previous episodes on their hats. All that sort of shit, guys.

Thanks for listening and we'll see you next time. See you, mates.